#i have a list of potential drag names and they are all Really Good

[legiblyloathed]

Ain’t He Darling? (Chapter 1)

Yandere! Wally Darling x Reader

A/N: Okay, so the little blue haired menace has been rotting my brain for the past week, sue me. I tried to get him out of my brain by rewatching Gravity Falls, only for the episode “The Hand that Rocks the Mabel” to inspire a whole fanfic. Straight up water on a grease fire. Anyway, enjoy.

Next

I always forget how much of a hassle moving is until it’s time to actually do it. Weeks spent selling and giving away half of my belongings, trying to shove the rest of them into boxes, then taking all of them into a new location only to have to figure out where all of them should go in the new space; it’s on the list of most mundane yet stressful life events a person has to put themselves through.

These were the feelings that hung around my being like a dark cloud for the past few weeks, but now, as I finally set my final knickknack in its chosen spot, I can feel the sun breaking through. I stand up and stretch as hard as I can, trying to wring the residual tension out of my spine. Even with my reduced number of belongings, it’s a lot of work to unpack them all, especially when working alone.

I didn’t have to do all the work myself. Within minutes of hauling stacks of boxes into my new house, I’d been approached by numerous rather colorful people, all very keen to lend a hand. As the newest neighbor in town, I was a curiosity to them, after all. I’d declined the offers, not wanting to place any burdens on the shoulders of my new potential friends. Looking back on it, that wasn’t my smartest move. Or maybe that’s just my aching muscles talking.

I’m dragged out of my tired contentment by the sound of a knock on the front door. Relaxing with a heaving sigh, I stroll over and peer out the peephole. Standing on my porch is a large, multicolored bird. My eyes dart to the plate of cookies balanced in her wings. With newfound excitement, I yank open the door and greet her with a smile.

The bird almost appears startled at this, the cookies on the plate jostling as she jumped. “Oh dear!” She shuffles the plate to her left hand, her right settling upon her chest as if to calm her heart. “You startled me for a moment!”

I give her a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Settling down, she waves her free wing dismissively. “Nothing to apologize for, I’m a bit prone to fright, is all.” As if remembering their existence, she extends the plate of cookies towards me. “I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I do hope you like them!”

“I’m sure I will!” I pull the plate from her grasp and hold it carefully to my chest, my mouth watering at the sugary smell. “They look and smell delicious, thank you so much…” I trail off, realizing in embarrassment that I never caught her name.

She seems to sense my hesitation, and beams in reassurance. “My name’s Poppy, Poppy Partridge.” I give her my name, mentally thanking her for the help. “It’s very nice to meet you, we haven’t had any new neighbors in a long time.”

“Really?” My head tilts to the side. “Why not? This place is beautiful.”

“Oh, I can’t say myself,” she sighs. “Suppose there’s just not much to around here.”

I shrug, trying to appear lighthearted. “It’s a pity.” She nods in agreement, and the conversation begins to lull. Not wanting to leave on such a sour note, I ask, “Out of curiosity, what do you like to do around here?”

“Me?” she squawks, looking taken aback. She fidgets with her feathers, her wings wringing around each other. “I suppose I like to bake, especially when the weather’s nice enough for a picnic.” I can almost see the lightbulb turn on above her head, and she turns her much cheerier gaze to my own. “Say, the rest of us were planning on a picnic this afternoon! Care to join us? It’d be a good time to meet your new neighbors.”

A sense of anxiety washes over me. The idea of being among that many strangers with such late notice flutters around in my stomach like butterflies. Without thinking, I begin to shift back and forth on my feet. “I… I don’t know, it’s very sudden…”

The bird wilts a bit, looking down at my porch. “Oh dear, it is, isn’t it? You must still be so busy with unpacking.”

I look up at her, my anxiety curdling into regret at her disappointment. I reconsider the situation. What’s an hour or two with a handful of strangers? There’s only nine houses in this town, counting my own, I can handle it. Having made up my mind, I shake my head. “No, no, I already finished unpacking. I’ll be there.”

Poppy perks up. “You will?” I smile, hoping she can’t see the hesitation in it. “That’s wonderful news!” She flaps her wings in excitement before stopping with a gasp of realization. “I have more baking to do, than! I’d better get going,” she says, turning to leave with one last wave of her big red wing. “I’ll see you soon, neighbor!”

“See you soon!” I shout back, waving with the hand that wasn’t clutching the plate of cookies. As she goes further from my field of vision, I feel myself slump, the excitement of a new friend and a batch of treats wearing off to remind me of my exhaustion. My hand falls limp to my side and I stare at the plate in contemplation.

Nap? Or snack?

I pluck a cookie from the tray and take a bite, feeling myself melt at the incredible flavor. I scarf the rest of the sweet down before heading back inside, picking up another one as I go. Maybe just a few before I rest up.

—————————

I snap up on my couch, almost falling off of it in my sudden awakening. What time is it? A quick glance at the clock on my wall reveals it to be mid-afternoon, and I throw myself off my resting place so fast I nearly hit the floor. I scramble to the window and see a small crowd of people in the distance, the sounds of talk and laughter wafting in through the glass. I let out a sigh of relief. At least I wasn’t… that late. After a quick change and a once over in the mirror, I hurry out the door and towards the picnic.

As I approach, the jolly sounds become clearer, with voices all chattering their cares away. Colorful blankets are scattered across the clearing, each rife with sandwiches and sweets. I really hope they aren’t upset that I didn’t bring anything. As I scan my surroundings, I pick out Poppy as she talks with a caterpillar and head in her direction, relieved at the semi-familiar face.

As if on cue, my way is blocked by a short girl in a pink dress dragging along a disgruntled looking man with a bowtie. “Ooh, you must be the new neighbor!” she squeals, bouncing up and down in place, hands flapping in front of her chest. “We were so worried you weren’t gonna come! I’m Julie Joyful, and this,” she says as she grabs the arm of the man next to her, “is Frank Frankly! Say hi, Franky!”

“Uh… hello.” I pondered briefly if I looked as awkward as poor Frank did as he gave me a small wave. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” I respond. As Julie begins to babble about her excitement, my eyes move to drift over the rest of the strangers. The vast majority are split off into their own small groups, with a single exception. Sitting on a bench under a large apple tree is a man who seems to be studying me the same way I’m studying him. One of his legs is crossed over the other, supporting his elbow as he rests his chin on his hand, staring at me with an intensity that sends a small shiver down my spine. And either I’m going crazy, or his lazy smile broadens ever so slightly at that.

I’m startled out of my impromptu staring contest by Julie, who seems to have noticed that I wasn’t listening and cranes her neck to see what I’m looking at. “Oh, have you met Wally yet?”

I shake my head. “No, not yet.” It takes all the willpower in my body not to meet those eyes that I can almost feel lingering on me.

The girl grins, grabbing my wrist. “Come on, you gotta meet him! I bet you two will get along like two peas in a pod!”

She begins to force me from my spot, and I feel myself start to panic. Before she can pull me away to the creepy man, Frank reaches out and stops her in her tracks. “Say, Julie, they don’t look too keen on it. Maybe they should take it slow, meet the others on their own time?” He gestures broadly to the snacks left sitting around. “They haven’t even gotten anything to eat yet, after all.”

Julie looks surprised at the intervention, a flash of guilt going over her face. “Oh my, you’re right, Frank! I’m so sorry, neighbor, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!” At my dismissive hand wave, she changes course, instead pulling me to the piles of food. “Poppy told me she gave you some cookies, but just you wait ‘til you try her pie!” I turn to look at Frank, mouthing a ‘thank you’ at the grumpy looking man. He smiles a bit with a reassuring nod, and the three of us settle down on a blanket. For the rest of the picnic I eat while the two of them (mainly just Julie with the occasional comment from Frank) talk about all kinds of things.

I try hard to pretend I can’t feel the eyes burning into the back of my head.

—————————

The sound of a steady, rhythmic knock wakes me up the next morning. I rub the sleep from my eyes, noting with absent mind how high the sun had already risen. The three slow knocks reverberate through my house once again, and I roll out of bed and head towards the front door, not bothering to change out of my pajamas or even look through the peephole. This, as it turns out, is a bad move on my part.

I yawn as I open the door, only for it to become a strangled cough as I lock eyes with the one resident I didn’t want to see this early. The man, or Wally as Julie had called him, stood on my porch, his face as eerily relaxed as ever. His posture was straight, his clothes neat, his appearance put together; I don’t think he could be any more of a contrast to my current state if he actively worked towards it. Which, to be frank, I suspect he did.

Just like the last time I’d encountered him, the two of us looked as if we were having a staring contest. Unlike last time, however, this time he decides to break the silence. “Hi, neighbor.” His voice is soft and monotonous, each syllable dragging along in no hurry. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

Somehow, I doubt that. In an attempt to relieve the strange tension, I let out a stilted laugh. “Yeah, you did, but it’s fine. I overslept, anyway.” He hums in acknowledgement, and it takes a few long seconds for me to realize he doesn’t plan on responding. Eager to hurry along this interaction so I can dart back into my house and hide from those piercing eyes, I prompt, “Something I can help you with, Wally?”

He tilts his head. “I never told you my name.”

“Yeah, no, you uh, you didn’t. Julie told me yesterday. At the… the picnic.”

“Oh, right. You three looked like you had a good time.”

“We did! We did…”

“Hmm.” His smile stretches, looking pleased by that confirmation. “Well, I’m glad to hear you’re settling in okay. I’ve heard it can be awful hard to make new friends, but you have a way of drawing people in, huh?” Cutting me off before I can ask for elaboration, Wally continues. “Speaking of drawing, I was hoping you might join me for some painting today, down by the south woods.”

“Oh!” I blurt out, taking a moment to process the invitation. “I’m not exactly much of an artist, myself.”

He laughs, and it’s every bit as emphatic as the rest of his speech. “Oh, neighbor, that doesn’t matter. We all start somewhere, and besides, I’d like the company.”

I consider turning him down flat, but something tells me he’s a bit too persuasive for me to keep him at bay forever. With a grin so forced it hurts, I say, “Sounds like fun! I’ll be there.”

Wally’s head bobs in a slow nod, and he takes a step back from the door. “I’m glad to hear it. See you soon, neighbor.”

I return the nod and raise a hand in a brief wave. “See you soon.” His stare remains, and just as I ready myself to ask him to stop, he finally, finally, turns away and walks away, humming a quiet tune to himself.

I step inside and close the door, leaning my forehead against it as I recover from the encounter. My stomach growls, but I feel as though I’ve lost my appetite. The inexplicable dread in my heart squashes any hope of breakfast. I close my eyes, but even then I can still see his own staring back, unblinking in their ceaseless observation. With a shudder, I push myself up, trying my best to steel my nerves. It’s just a little art lesson, I chastise myself. So he’s a little spooky, it’s probably fine.

No matter how many times I repeated those three words to myself, the memory of those eyes seems to peer right through the lie.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?

🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.

So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.

However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.

Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.

In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.

I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:

1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe

2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.

3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)

Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.

This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.

I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.

Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?

I dont think I am but idk lol

What are these acronyms?

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[diorkyeom]

THE @diorkyeom / @fairyhaos AO3 FIC REC LIST: PART 3

masterlist. part one. part two.

part three of all the ao3 fics that i've read for seventeen which i've loved, kudosed, and proceeded to download so i'll always have with me! lots of these are fics that have been in my library for a while that i just never got round to reccing, so expect a lot of verkwan in this haha

(list is in order of titles!)

By Any Other Name - bapilli

verkwan, omegaverse, oneshot

i don't even read omegaverse so idk how i even ended up reading this in the first place but. it's actually sooo so sweet. their dynamic is just sososo gentle and hansol just Likes seungkwan SO MUCH and it's So obvious and it makes me want to sob in my hands a little bit. this fic gets bonus points for its hurt/comfort elements and the gentle reassurance it has.

Give Me A Chance To Be Yours - lillupon

meanie, uni au, pining, chaptered

listen guys. there is So Much stuff in the meanie tag that if i rec a meanie fic, you just know it's the best of the best. the whole best-friends-who-act-like-theyre-dating thing is delicious But add that with oblivious mingyu and pining wonu and a confession not taken seriously and jealousy and you have an absolutely stellar fic. and wow, guess what, that's exactly what this fic is

Green (With Leaves) - kaiteki

soonhoon, plant shop au, chaptered (but short)

no bc why is literally the gentlest, sweetest, fondest soonhoon characterisation ever and why is it so accurate???? i Love dramatic soonyoung and dry humour jihoon and their fun little dynamic put into the loveliest friends to lovers plot ever. y'all know that i prefer strangers/ friends to lovers over e2l for soonhoon any day and this fic does it rly well

i'm all about you - checkyeshoshi

verkwan, football (soccer), chaptered

honestly seungkwan as a firecracker of a football coach is something ive Never thought about before but it also makes so much sense???? and hansol just being The Guy dragged into the team's shenanigans is so adorable and very much him imo. also seungkwan basically just gawking at hansol's muscles the entire time >>>

Insomnia - Mistehri

soonhoon, canon au, ib insomnia zero 1, oneshot

soooo soft and soooo sweet!!! i love little canon fics bc theyre always so self indulgent and i love that for the author. also adorable jihoon who can't sleep without soonyoung?? that's absolutely adorable and i cried a bit bc my heart was Melting at how soft they are

pack off the sunset glow - orphan_account

verkwan, roadtrip, non-idols au, oneshot

*clenches fists* i love these gay little boys so so much. it's so chaotic and fun and you literally can imagine everything that happens here and seungkwan being a dramatic mess as usual makes everything soo so much better

PEACH. - petitseok

seoksoo, non-idols, age regression, twoshot

honestly ive never even read those caregiver + regressor fics before but this one :((( instantly the best one of those types of fics ever like. i don't even know what made me click on it but it's So sweet and devastating and regressor!seok now has my heart bc of course this lovely man with big doe eyes should get to act like a 3 year old every now and then to relax

The Tiger On The Mountain - natigail

soonhoon, magical realism, shapeshifter hoshi, chaptered

hnnghghfh listen. people really underappreciate the potential for hybrid fics and shapeshifter fics that hoshi's tiger agenda brings, but this uses it really well! i love the interleaving of fantasy into Totally Normal Lee Jihoon's life and dude,,, the cliché tropes r all just so good

What's In A Name - thanku4urlove

verkwan, non-idols, fluff, crack, oneshot

seungkwan is so!!! himself!!! in this fic and i literally even have one section of this fic screenshotted bc i screamed about it to my friend since it was such an on-point seungkwan characterisation. also user thanku4urlove literally writes the best verkwan fics. i think i've recced their fics in every list so far

your name is a triangle - universefactory(jaeminjeno)

soonhoon, idolverse, established relationship, oneshot

mild misunderstandings and soft relationships. that's it, that's the fic. soonyoung is Sad and Sulking but jihoon is there to knock some sense into him and all is fine once again :D okay but also the way that the members r just so caring in the fic is vv sweet too

[rottenpumpkin13]

There are plenty of reasons to get back on Zack, of course. BUT with number of accidents caused by Genesis, ASZ + Lazard definitely need to plan something bigger to get back on him as well.

The Stolen Books Prank

[Lazard dials up Genesis' number from a throwaway phone. Sephiroth, Angeal and Zack are standing behind him. It rings five times before Genesis picks up]

Genesis: Hello?

Lazard: Good morning, am I speaking to Mr. Genesis Rhapsodos?

Genesis: This is he. Unless you're a crazy fan....in that case, this is Sephiroth speaking.

Lazard: I'm calling from the Midgar Police Department. The Shinra Electric Power Company put me through to you.

Genesis: That's.... not good.

Lazard: It isn't. I'm calling to inquire about a stolen lot of books. The Loveless bookstore in Sector eight was broken into last night—

Genesis: Oh no! That's awful!

Lazard: —And an entire lot of rare and expensive one-of-a-kind copies of the book Loveless were stolen.

Genesis: How dare they!? I was waiting for that shipment to come in!

Lazard: Well, Mr. Rhapsodos, the problem is multiple eye witnesses and anonymous tips are pointing you out as the suspect.

Genesis: WHAT? ME? AS IF! Do I really seem like the kind of man who would need to steal? I'm financially well off, mind you, and I wouldn't dare steal from a book store of all places. Let alone the Loveless bookstore in Sector eight!

[Knowing what's coming, Angeal slaps his hand over Zack's mouth. Sephiroth has to step away from Lazard so his laughter doesn't echo]

Lazard: We have you on video breaking into the establishment, loading up a truck with the stolen merchandise, then speeding off and breaking several traffic laws.

Genesis: WHAT? WHEN?

[Sephiroth starts laughing uncontrollably in the background]

Lazard: This was last night.

Genesis: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I WAS AT HOME LAST NIGHT.

Lazard: Were you with anyone who can vouche for you?

Genesis: Well....no? But I can prove it! I was writing last night, and the program I use shows you the time each paragraph was written. And I was up until at least 2 AM.

Lazard: What were you writing, Mr. Rhapsodos?

Genesis:

Lazard: Sir? Can you hear me?

Genesis: Do I have to admit to this?

Lazard: You're potentially facing some serious charges.

Genesis: Fine! Fine! I was writing Sephiroth reader-insert fanfiction!

[Angeal has to bolt out of the room before he laughs too loud. He drags Zack with him, who has since turned red]

Lazard: Oh? And you were up writing until 2 AM, correct?

Genesis: Yes.

Lazard: Unfortunately the crime happened at 3 in the morning. We'll be dispatching an officer to the Shinra building shortly. The higher-ups are aware that there is a warrant out for your arrest. I ask you that you do not try to run—

[Genesis hangs up abruptly]

Sephiroth: Did he hang up?

Lazard: I think so.

[Sephiroth's phone starts ringing. He looks at the caller ID and sees Genesis' name flash across the screen. He places a single finger against his lips, telling Lazard to be quiet as he picks up]

Sephiroth: Yes, Ge....

Sephiroth: Genesis. Genesis, slow down.

Sephiroth: Please stop crying.

Sephiroth: You can't move to France and change your name to Pierre, Genesis. That's evading an arrest and another crime on its own.

Sephiroth: Genesis, you can't desert SOLDIER, either. All of your solutions are crimes. Why don't you get a lawyer?

Sephiroth:

Sephiroth: I hardly think the timestamps on your erotic fanfiction about my person are going to help you.

Sephiroth:

Sephiroth: This is not the time to explain the plot of your writing to me, Genesis.

Sephiroth: Gen–

[Sephiroth covers the phone with one hand]

Sephiroth: He's just listing kinks, what do I do?

[He places the phone to his ear again]

Sephiroth: Genesis, I don't even know what barebacking means.

[Lazard loses it and doubles over cry-laughing]

[sashaisready]

You fought with Bucky 

This is a lil head canon about the aftermath of an argument with your boyfriend Bucky. Warning for some angst (but fluff too). Longer than I expected!! Hope you like 💖

*Your face felt flushed and your stomach twisted with nerves, the two of you rarely fought and if you did - you would make up right away. He’d stormed out of the apartment half an hour ago and you hadn’t heard anything since, you kept checking your phone - anxiously hovering your finger over the call button of his name in your contacts. 

*It was dumb. What had started as a silly squabble about household chores turned into a full blown argument, both of you firing verbal missiles across the kitchen as your petty gripes were used as weapons. You were both angry, both stubborn. Both hotheaded. He’d said some cruel things, but so had you.

*You’d wanted to apologise but your hurt and anger held you back. He’d gone too far…maybe you had as well, but his words rang in your ears as you painstakingly pored over each detail in your head. You wiped your tear stained cheeks and anxiously chewed your fingernails. What he’d said…Is that what he really thought of you? 

*Long buried fears teased you from the hidden depths of your brain. The insecurities, the doubts. The worry that you weren’t good enough for him, that you couldn’t make him happy or give him what he needed. You thought these concerns had been long extinguished, eradicated entirely by Bucky’s love for you. His affection had anchored you, made you finally see you were worthy of him. Worthy of love. But the embers of those fears must’ve remained deep below, ready to reignite when they were given the spark to do so. Now their fire burned again. 

*Eventually you’d retired to your bedroom. Unable to eat much or concentrate on that crappy Netflix show you’d put on, your phone screen still blank and silent. You sunk into your sheets, smelling Bucky on them and unable to stop your tears as you remembered how he’d held you so tenderly in them just hours before. 

*You began to make a plan. You’d need a place to stay when he eventually came home and ended things. If he even came home….Your brain snapped into action mode as a survival mechanism, mentally making a list of people you could potentially stay with - how easily you could travel to work from each of their houses. How you could transport your stuff…Would someone help you move? Maybe you could hire a storage unit until you got back on your feet. Maybe you could move to a new city….Maybe…

*You must’ve fallen asleep at some point during your catastrophizing. You woke as the mattress shifted in the dark, a heavy but familiar warmth from behind wrapping around your torso, two hands - one flesh, one metal, encircling your waist. The smell of him on the sheets now suddenly overpowering as it surrounded you. You tried to speak, but your throat tightened and dried as you could only utter a single whimper.

*He cooed and hushed in your ear as your tears fell. His nose nuzzling your jawline as your quiet cries escaped. ‘Just let me have tonight’ you pleaded. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll be gone by the morning’.

*He tutted and sighed. His breath hot on the back of your neck. ‘Doll….’ He whispered, somehow both gentle and chastising at the same time. ‘Always so dramatic…You’re not going anywhere…’. A kiss then, soft lips dragging across your cheek. ‘You think you can get rid of me that easily?’

*You choked back a sob as relief flooded every inch of you, your body slackening into his. All of your tension and fear escaping at once. ‘I’m sorry-I..I didn’t mean..I wanted to call - I’m sorry…’ the words left your mouth faster than you could think them. A panicked jumble as he soothed and held you tightly. ‘It’s okay’ he whispered. ‘I’m so sorry, Doll’.

*Silence then. Just the brushing of clothes and your old bed creaking as your bodies slotted together perfectly like they always had. You held him close and muttered a prayer of apologies into his ear while he shook his head and ran his thumb down your spine, wordlessly putting your pieces back together again.

*’I thought you would leave’ you admitted softly as the final tears fell. He stiffened at that, his soothing demeanour wounded by the pain he had caused. ‘I’m sorry I made you think that’ he uttered quietly. ‘And I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch. I was hurt by what happened, upset that we fought…I just needed some space. But I love you. And a stupid fight would never change that. Okay?’

*You nodded, smiling in the dark as he caressed your face so tenderly that it caught you off guard. No more words now, just bodies on the mattress tied up in each other. Noses brushing, fingers entwined. Breathing both in time. The remainder of both of your apologies unsaid yet somehow loudly declared, a shared, private language in that creaking old bed. 

[fantasyfantasygames]

Hi Legion, I'm Dad

Hi Legion, I'm Dad, Flat Spats Games, 2018

The phrase that goes before the title is "We Are Legion", in case you didn't guess it right away.

Hi Legion, I'm Dad (HLID) is a tongue-in-cheek game following a bowling team full of suburban dads as they face a demonic invasion. Well, "face" isn't the right word. It's going to be more "run from" for the majority of the game. The whole thing is about 64 pages of 6"x9" format, which is probably more than it needs but it works just fine.

Characters in HLID are fairly simple. You have only skills, no core attributes. These include Defensive Driving, Workout, Household Maintenance, Man Scout, and of course, Bowling. Bowling is your standard attack skill. There are some not-quite-skills like "I got a cousin knows this guy..." that get rolled just like everything else. The game uses d12s because they roll the farthest, like a bowling ball. (d12 mechanics are my pet peeve. It's not great for anything. It's exactly wrong. It does not "need more love." Let it go.) Rolling a 1 or a 12 has an extra effect, so you're going to be seeing those a lot. That plays into the expected zany antics.

The art is cartoonish but really nails the expressions on the characters' faces. There are five men on the team, and you really get a feel for their emotional makeup. There's the smooth one, the nerd who got dragged there, the wholesome friendly guy who dragged him there, the guy who might be in the mafia, and the guy who works out a little too much. There's a good spread of ethnicities depicted, and one of them is even trans, which is cool.

The game definitely knows its target audience (i.e. these kinds of dads and their kids). Every header in the book is a dad joke or pun of some kind. Some of them you don't get for quite a while. You just think "Oh, huh, a normal-named ability" or "I have no idea why it's called that" and then 4 sessions in you hang your head in shame. Well done, Flat Spats. Well done.

The game includes a sample scenario, It Didn't Just Get Up And Walk Away, a zombie-survival-type adventure in which demons possess bodies and you have to defend yourselves from them until you can rescue the magical extra-glittery bowling ball from the ball return and send them back to hell. The NPCs feel like they could be in Army of Darkness. There are a ton more NPCs than the scenario needs, as well as a d100 list of potential adventure seeds. The authors would really like you to roll that with an actual d100. You know, like a bowling ball.

It's kind of rare that you get a game that's funny when you read it and funny when you play it. Sometimes the book did all the jokes for you and there's nothing left for you to actually contribute. HLID feels like it could be both. The well of dad humor runs deep. Well, it doesn't run at all really. Oh, well.

They actually tried to sell this game at bowling alleys. Since no one buys a book at a bowling alley, and also COVID happened, it didn't really sell well. Most copies got returned, which means they got pulped. Somewhere, though, you just know there's a dad using a well-worn copy of this book as his "office reader" and chuckling at it every day.

[clandestinegardenias]

Quick and dirty power/structure/agency meta for y’all because my brain is going HAYWIRE at how Kinnporsche ended. 

I’ve seen several posts explaining why Porsche becoming the head of the minor family isn’t the power move that it first appears (see posts from @atlasshrugd here and @deliciouswastelandgoddess here).

I fully agree. A big thematic element throughout this season has been Structure vs. Agency -- basically a question of freewill, self-determination, the ability to bring about what YOU want to happen, and the limitations that are placed on those things by the context you find yourself in (see my full KP meta of this here).

Throughout the series, we’ve seen Porsche lose more and more agency. First, as a bodyguard he is severely constrained in nearly every way. Where he can go, what he can do, what he can eat, who he can have contact with, all are limited in the extreme. Yes, Porsche technically CHOOSES to be a bodyguard, but his list of choices is pretty damn proscribed. Is it really a choice, if there are two options and one puts you on the mafia’s bad side?

He gains a bit of that back when he wins Kinn’s affection, and later gets Korn’s blessing as Kinn’s boyfriend. He gets a phone (only to call Kinn, ofc), permission to call and visit his brother, etc. 

Slowly, though, Korn is amassing all these different ways of controlling Porsche’s options. Chay gets brought into the fold. We find out Korn has been keeping Porsche’s mom locked in the attic. And obviously Korn has a great deal of influence over Kinn. 

In the finale, Korn makes his big power play of the season and assigns Porsche as the head of the minor family. Note that he doesn’t ASK Porsche. He simply decides, and Porsche acquiesces.

And the thing is, this COULD be Porsche gaining a good deal of agency and power! IF WE KNEW THAT PORSCHE ACTUALLY WANTED THAT POSITION (or, uhhhh, would be any good at it...). 

We’re not given any insight into Porsche’s thought process. He doesn’t volunteer. We never see him debate it, waver, gladly accept. Anything. 

As @yeetlegay and I have been discussing, the choice is fundamental--is this something that Porsche WANTS, and therefore accepting it is an act of agency that allows Porsche to fulfill his own desire?

Or is Porsche only accepting it because it’s what he thinks is necessary to get the other things he wants: namely Kinn, access to his mom, and protection for Chay?

Is it even really a choice, when one option has the very real potential of tearing you away from those you love?

Fundamentally, would Porsche choose to be the head of the minor family if he could keep Kinn, his mom, and Chay safe and by his side regardless of his choice? 

Korn is pulling Porsche further and further into the structure, and into his game. He’s the puppet master pulling the strings, giving power over the minor family to someone he can CONTROL. He is amassing everything he needs to constrain Porsche’s agency and choices; he always had Porsche’s mom, but now he has his brother and, serendipitously for him, Kinn whom Porsche loves. 

The noose is tightening, and we don’t even know if Porsche KNOWS that it is. 

I think this is, actually, a BRILLIANT set-up for a second season; Porsche discovering that he’s stepping further and further into the trap. Doors are closing all around him. How much of your agency are you willing to give up, for love? How much of yourself can you stand to lose, and how much can your beloved stand to SEE you lose? Can you have both love and freewill, in this violent world?

It’s also a great parallel to what’s happening with Vegas and Pete, who have been yeeted out of the system and, in some ways, CHOSEN that (Pete by leaving the main family and Vegas by choosing to live despite being stripped of his position/power). They have a great deal of self-determination at the moment (...as long as no one drags them back in. Ohhh noooo, who would do that?? I WONDER). 

I could see a nice balancing act of Vegas and Pete being drawn back into the structure/game, while Kinn and Porsche struggle to escape or at least establish their own agency. Both couples will need to cement their own power, outside of Korn’s chessboard, and it looks like a perfect narrative set up for them to do it by working together from opposite ends of the spectrum. 

[holykillercake]

PUPPY EYES AND FUN RIDES

Kid x Reader! AU

word count: 3.3k

summary: Eustass Kid was an extravagant man, taking everything he wanted without asking for permission. He was denied so much in his life that he did not say no to himself. If he could take it, he would. Or, maybe, most of it.

highlight: ¨Here´s your tip. Buy yourself something pretty.¨

warning: gun injuries with a side of SASS *sparkles*

notes: I´m back with another one-shot, guys! It has been so long since I wanted to write for Kid, and I really liked the result. I hope you guys enjoy it as well! <3

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

¨Hey, Pups! Bring in another round!¨ Kid shouted from the table where he and the guys sat with potential future business partners. 

You lifted a bottle of whiskey to let him know you got the message. All of the other orders entered the waiting list while you placed the drinks on the tray, taking an extra for the boss, personally. 

¨Here´s the savior, guys!¨ the redhead said as you approached the table. ¨This is my Puppy, but you call her Y/N. She runs the house.¨ 

¨Puppy, huh? Interesting nickname.¨ one of the men spoke, calling you by the name Kid made clear was only his. 

There was a second of silence. The top ranks looked at each other with a smirk, while the other men seemed confused. 

¨Man...¨ Wire spoke, leaning back on the chair, trying to cover his smile with his hand, ruffling his eyebrows. 

¨Here.¨ you called the man who commented about your nickname, holding his shot glass in front of him ¨Only the boss calls me Puppy.¨ and with that, you drank in one go all the liquid you had poured him, turning and smacking the small glass on the table, hard enough for it to crack. 

¨That´s my girl. What´s the good news?¨ Kid asked, putting his hand on your back, pulling you closer. 

¨Four tables from here, at eight o´clock.¨ you said, leaning in. ¨They got here in a black sports vehicle with tinted windows about forty minutes ago, had a beer each, and don´t stop staring. None of them hopped off from the driver´s seat. I already sent the boys out there to close the streets. They´re waiting for your sign, Captain.¨

¨My night always gets better when you call me Captain.¨ he gave you a grin before turning to the blonde beside you. ¨Killer.¨

As soon as the second in command got up and turned his gaze towards the table, the men put themselves on their feet on alert. Without so much trying to hide their intentions, they mixed in with the crowd to get to the door. 

¨Why am I shooting them?¨ Kid asked, playing silly with you.

¨They left without paying the tab.¨

¨How about your tip?¨

¨Not a single cent.¨ you shrugged, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. 

¨Oooh,¨ he purposefully overreacted with a frown. ¨I can´t let that happen. Come on, guys. It´s show time.¨

As soon as you turned your back, sounds of chairs dragging on the wooden floor like nails on a chalkboard echoed all over the bar, followed by tires rolling on the pebbles from the parking lot. 

¨These rookies never learn.¨ you mumbled to yourself, laughing. 

It wasn´t long until they returned, clearing space only for the top ranks to pass. Wire dragged the two men from the bar by their collars, and Heat carried another one, probably the driver, on his shoulders. 

Killer walked some steps behind, looking calm and neutral as usual, and Kid took a detour towards you, holding a credit card between his fingers like magicians do with their cards. 

¨Here´s your tip. Buy yourself something pretty.¨

¨Will do.¨ you took the piece of plastic and put it in your back pocket, smiling and blushing at him. ¨Have fun, boss.¨

¨Will do, Pups.¨ 

Kid lingered there for a few more seconds, eyes alternating between your eyes and your lips. 

It wasn't always like this. As kids, you would be on each other´s throats all the time. But when you passed the age of bratty kids and realized that you would stick together for the long run, your relationship started to evolve. Slowly, you started to build this chemistry, but for some reason, nothing ever happened. You would just flirt carelessly every time you met, which would be on a daily basis, but without ever making a move. 

You tried to never take it too far because you know they say, right? It´s fun and all until someone catches feelings. 

So you poured him another shot, and he gladly took it, turning around and mixing in the crowd, passing through an iron door that led to the underground level, where those who didn´t their place were sent. 

The rest of the night went on smoothly, except for the free round of drinks that Kid so kindly offered at the expense of your hard work. Some men started a pool to guess what end the newbies would have. In the end, they all took their cash back since no one thought they would live until the morrow. 

While you cleaned your station, preparing to close the bar, you could not help but reminisce about your rookie days. And how, one day, the three of you were the reckless kids. During that time, you had no idea you would spend the rest of your life around those skinny and sassy boys. 

Oh, life, what a fun ride. 

---

¨Your legs are too short, that´s why you´re slow! Slowpoke!¨ you yelled at the ginger head kid, wincing at the bruise on your knees as Killer tried to attend to them. 

¨My legs are not short, and I´m not slow!¨ Eustass yelled back, forgetting about the tissue he was supposed to hold on his nose. 

¨Y/N, stop moving. And Kid, you´re dripping blood on your shirt. Chin up.¨ Killer said, visibly tired of both of your tantrums. 

¨I told you, Killer. We shouldn´t have taken him with us. Ouch!¨ 

¨We should have, Y/N. It was just a bad day. Now stop moving.¨ 

¨It was that bright red head of his. He looks like a folklore creature from the South Blue.¨ 

¨You look like a clumsy giraffe!¨ Kid´s voice came all nasalized as he stuffed his nostrils with tissue. 

You have met the boys while still living at the district´s orphanage. At first, you weren´t close. You spent the day playing with your friends, crossing paths with them every once in a blue moon without paying them no mind. 

But as the number of orphans and crime in the district grew, the government, the main supporter, ended up abandoning the place, and the staff left with it. Not that anyone would care or notice. At least, no one besides the children living there. 

During the first weeks, you could survive with the provisions you had left. But feeding so many kids required a lot of food, and soon, you were out of it. So the oldest ones, such as Killer, joined to steal around town. 

You tagged along with them since your age was an incognito. You had lost your parents when you were old enough to walk and talk but young enough to remember those types of details. You were taller and stronger than most kids, but your actions seemed of someone Eustass´age. 

No one complained, though. They were short on young burglars anyway. 

Local stores run by old people were the easiest target. If you were sly enough, they wouldn´t even notice you. In the worst-case scenario, you would put your legs to work and disappear into the narrow alleys. 

The gangs in the area soon started to take advantage of that situation, recruiting some kids to do the small dirty work and eventually the three of you. They offered food for your growling stomachs, a roof above your heads, and warm beds to sleep at night. 

As a work of destiny, perhaps, the three of you stuck together, hoping from gang to gang, until you decided to start one of your own. And though you pulled Kid´s leg for wanting to be the leader, you agreed that there was no one better for the job. 

Your relationship developed altogether with your skills, and you went from young brats throwing sharp knives at each other to partners, blindly loyal to one another. 

Many years and many ball drops later, when Kid established his shop and decided it was time to expand his businesses, he put you in charge of the bar. Behind the salon, the iron doors guarded Kid´s office, his ¨playroom¨, and your house. 

You´d sleep there, making sure no one tried to get into your fortress. And when the bar was open, you would be Kid´s eyes and ears, observing every person stepping in and out, reporting in case someone acted suspiciously. 

During the night, when the bar was open, trouble would often arise. It could be drunk men causing havoc or unprepared spies trying to catch a glimpse of Kid´s activities. However, when the doors closed and the lights went off, people would rarely try to break in. You could count on your fingers the number of times such a thing happened. 

This night, however, someone must have had an extra bit of liquid courage. 

You were preparing to hop into bed, applying a nice moisturizer on your body, when you heard the front door being forced open. It was a matter of seconds until you had thrown a rob on and ran towards the bar, with a Glock nineteen in hands, safety pin deactivated, ready to blow some brains.  

Your feet slid on the floor as you moved across the dark hallways, silent and fast. You hid behind the door, leaned in to hear any movements on the other side, and figure out how many were there. However, it was with a deep silence that you were met. 

There wasn´t any sound of usual breaking and entering. No tables dragged or thrown, draws turned upside down, and bottles getting chugged on. You peeked through the peephole that gave you a wide sight of the salon, but other than the breach left open by the intruder and the moonlight coming in, there wasn´t much to look at. 

¨What the fuck?¨ you whispered.

You lowered the gun for a few seconds before a groan caught your attention. With one hand on the doorknob, you let out a deep breath preparing to open it, when at the opposite wall, close to the door, you saw someone move and shot right next to the shadow´s head. 

¨Damn, Pups!¨ 

Instantly, you recognized the voice, activating the safety pin and shoving the gun in the elastic of your underwear. You opened the door and turned the counter lights on, revealing Kid leaning against the wall. 

¨Damn, you, Kid. You´ve got the keys, you know?¨

He cursed something back at you, standing up straight and closing the entrance door. You immediately took notice of his roughed-up state, as if he had returned from a fight or something. His hair was slicked back, and the goggles were down on his neck. His face had dirty spots all over and sweat dripped from his temples. Even his lipstick seemed smudged, probably for cleaning the blood on the corner of his lips. 

¨Tough night?¨ you asked, approaching the drawers under the bar counter to get a first aid kit. 

¨We were caught off guard. But we dealt with it already.¨

¨I don´t doubt that. C´mere.¨ you cleaned a table, putting the chairs down so he could sit. ¨Let me take a look at you.¨

The redhead grunted, taking his coat off and throwing it wherever ¨I don´t need fucking babysitting, Puppy.¨ 

¨Then why are you here?¨ you put one hand on your waist, giving him attitude served cold with a smirk ¨That´s what I thought. Now, did the bullet come out?¨

¨How do you know it´s not a slash of something?¨

¨You said you were caught off guard. There´s no way someone would pass through all of you with a knife or whatever and not be noticed.¨ you flicked his forehead, and he pretended to go for a bite of your fingers. ¨I know my boys well.¨

Besides, you knew Kid would never look for anyone´s help due to a slash. 

¨Don´t go getting cocky, you little shit.¨

¨Too bad, too late.¨ 

Kid opened his signature grin and pointed to the side of his abdomen, where a piece of rag covered beveled skin and more blood. The bullet followed a straight path, three fingers on the left from his belly button to the side of his waist. 

¨Wanna make this more interesting?¨ he suggested.

¨Well, this is not interesting at all, but sure.¨ 

¨Geez, Pups. Who pissed in your fucking cornbread?¨ 

¨Oh, you really don´t know?¨ you stared at him with wide eyes and a fake grin. 

¨Fuck off.¨

¨Genius.¨ 

¨You want it or not?!¨ 

¨I just said ¨sure¨. You should get your ears checked as well. What do you have in mind?¨ you skipped to the question before you two spent all night on a snarky comments contest.  

¨Guess range, contact, and the gun correctly, and you can ask me anything you want.¨ he smiled.

¨Anything?¨ 

¨Anything in the world. I´ll give it to you.¨ 

¨And if I don´t guess those correctly...?¨

¨Then I ask anything I want.¨

¨I don´t see how that´s fair to me.¨

¨Are you chickening out?¨ he provoked you, knowing how much it annoyed being said things like that. 

¨I´m gonna rip your other arm off and eat it like a chicken wing. How does that sound?¨

¨C´mon, Pups.¨ 

¨Alright. But you better prepare your pockets, though, cause we´re going shopping and you´re holding my bags.�� you laughed, helping ease the tension before you started poking him where it hurt. 

Kid smirked, keeping his gaze locked to the bar behind you. When you began to clean the wound, you felt his breath hitch for a brief second. Maybe he wanted to distract from the pain, too. After all, no matter how strong he is, he is a human being. You couldn´t help but feel a twist in your stomach. 

¨Well,¨ you spoke after seconds ¨as I said, it´s a gunshot. The path was clear and uninterrupted, causing minimal damage, mostly skin and fat tissues. Did it come out entire?¨ you referred to the bullet.

He hummed in agreement. 

¨Good. I see some minor burning and singeing of hair, so I´ll say mid to close range. And there are what I assume to be burnt metal scraps, plus the skin and hair appearance... I´m gonna go with a loose contact wound caused by a rifled arm.¨

¨You assume they are metal scraps?¨ he said, pulling your legs.

¨Yeah, but it could be just dirt since you are proving to be insanely reckless and desperate for an infection.¨ you smiled condescendingly. ¨I would have to send it to a lab.¨ 

¨No need, punk. Final considerations?¨

¨Let me see.¨ you pretended to examine a little more ¨You are extremely lucky for a man wearing barely any clothes in the middle of an open fire or extremely skilled for dodging a bullet, preventing it from causing more damage.¨ you both laughed ¨So, which one are you?¨ 

¨Are you asking if I am a dumb manwhore or a stuck-up asshole?¨

¨Your words, not mine.¨ you put both hands in the air, laughing through your nose. 

The two of you kept throwing small talk and snarky remarks while you finished patching him up. The redhead told you what had happened and that everyone got out pretty much unscathed. Apparently, it was revenge for the guys that went to the bar and never returned. Who would know for sure? They got beat up so hard all they could do was moan and cry. 

¨Done. You´re as good as new, Cap.¨ you said, cutting the last suture line. 

¨Yeah...¨ Kid replied, letting out a short yawn and cracking his neck bones. 

¨You... wanna stay for the night? You look tired. I don´t think driving is a good idea right now.¨ 

You gently scrubbed the cloth on a dirty spot you overlooked, not missing the slight sway of him leaning in your touch. You kept looking at him, from his pearl-white skin marked with pink scars, his ferocious red locks falling on his face to his torso. The muscles, the new and old scars, and the part when skin turned to metal. Eustass Kid had become a remarkable man. 

Meanwhile, Kid himself thought the same things of you. As he tried to internalize your touch in his soul, he wanted to memorize every little detail of your face. From the way you parted your hair, how your brows furrowed, and your lips twitched when you focused on something to the warmth of your skin. 

Eustass Kid was an extravagant man, taking everything he wanted without asking for permission. He was denied so much in his life that he did not say no to himself. If he could take it, he would. Or, maybe, most of it. Ever since he established his throne in the District, there has been only one thing he did not allow himself to do. 

Kid knew how cathartic, chaotic and catastrophic he could be. And how he could win the jackpot at times and lead to calamity at others. He has won much and lost the equivalent. He has made the right decisions and fucked up to the same extent. 

And he could not bear fucking up and risk losing you. 

The boiling feelings in his chest and butterflies in his stomach were shut down. He would deprive himself of his biggest desire so he could have you by his side forever. 

He swore that many times. 

But seeing you there, like that, looking at him with the care no one has ever before. It made him wonder what kind of place you had for him in your heart. He didn´t miss your breathing turning heavier and your fingers trembling against his cheek. And though he was brute and tough on the outside, the inside wasn´t so dense. You wanted it as much as he did. He knew, and so did you. 

¨C´mere.¨ he whispered, tapping his fingers on his leg. 

Without thinking twice, you got up from your seat, making your way to his lap, careful not to touch the injured spot. Your whole body caught on fire, and your chest moved up and down with every breath. It felt like your place, like his body was made for yours.

Kid placed his right hand on your waist, massaging the soft fabric of your pajama. Moving on to your face, he caressed your cheek before pulling you closer to him. He was gentle. For the first time, he was gentle. 

¨I don´t wanna fuck this up, Pups.¨ he said, gluing his forehead to yours and fighting to hold back.

¨I´m not gonna let that happen.¨ 

¨I´m not letting you go.¨

¨I wouldn´t go even if you made me.¨

Kid smirked and finished closing the distance between you, kissing you with impatience and despair. You held each other until you ran out of breath, hurting for having to part the kiss. You loved the way you felt in each other´s arms and tasted on each other´s lips. It was addicting. Alluring. Appetizing. 

¨Fuck.¨ Kid cursed, out of breath. 

¨Yeah, fuck.¨ you laughed. 

The two of you kept making out for a long while, talking and cursing as usual, laughing, and even drinking some beers. You kept sat on his lap, using him as a comfortable talking couch.

¨Hm,¨ Kid started, taking another sip ¨so?¨

¨So what?¨ 

¨You won. Mid-range, loose contact, lightweight, semi-automatic, modern sporting rifle.¨

¨Nice tongue twister. Cartridge size?¨

¨Hmm... 5.5 per 45 millimeters.¨

¨Lucky manwhore.¨ you scoffed and rolled your eyes. 

¨I´mma shut this pretty mouth of yours.¨ Kid held your jaw, squeezing your cheeks and smiling at you ¨A deal is a deal. What d´you want, Pups?¨

You repositioned yourself on his lap to face him, embracing his neck and letting the bottle touch his back. A grin formed on your lips when his body jerked up at the cold object against his warm skin. He muttered some obscenities at you, only to watch your smile grow as you came closer to his face.

¨I already got what I wanted. Are you offering to give me more?¨

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

[starfish-sonnyangel]

AURORA CYCLE CAMP AU i couldn't stop thinking abt this there's so much potential here

BASICALLY there are 4 cabins, each with a pair of counselors. 

Auri/Scar (girls cabin)

Fin/Kal (boys cabin)

Ty/Nari (boys cabin, poor Nari)

Zila/Saedii (girls cabin)

Auri

she used to go to the camp when she was younger so she’s like a senior here

friends with everyone

leads the nature hikes

even tho she’s been going to the camp for 10+ years is incapable of making a friendship bracelet more complicated than a fishtail (she’s tried)

head chef!

one night she got really sick and couldn’t cook so fin took over, the result closely resembled a bowl of vomit. everyone ate smores for dinner that night.

her and scar are actually a great pair, they balance each other out and probably get along better than any of the other counselor pairs do

Scar

avoides her duties at all costs

just makes friendship bracelets and gossips about the other cabins

gives the campers relationship advice but they’re all like, eleven

“girl taking your pen!!! the sparkly one too?? i’m getting major red flags, that's such an ick. you need to dump him next recess.”

everyones fav counselor 1000%

surprisingly good at pep talks

always the one that gets called in when there’s camper conflicts

blasts britney spears in the mess hall (speaker is consequently confiscated by tyler)

Kal

came for the service hours, stayed for the found family

surprisingly very responsible and into nature

always the one who gathers the wood for the campfire each night

helps in the kitchen most nights (he maintains that it’s to spend as little time with finn as as possible orrr is it because auri is head chef cough cough)

no one knows anything about him. like anything. where he’s from? what his last name is? how old he is? if he has family? zilch.

has to enforce 98% of the rules bc fin couldn't care less abt disciplining the campers

very passionate about algae??? no one has any idea where that came from

could and would fight off a bear

takes the spiders that get into the cabin back outside in a little cup (while fin is curled up on his bunk screaming)

scar drags him into making friendhsip bracelets with him

has a black nalgene with like 5 half finished bracelets hanging off it that he takes everywhere with him

definitely doesn't make auri bracelets idk why you would think that

Fin

imagine how chaotic he was in the series, times 100

pushes everyone in on lake days and then whines when the campers push him in

“fin, what’s this type of plant called?”    “girl . . . a leaf prolly idk”

tries to sneak his nintendo switch onto the camp (it gets confiscated by a very disappointed tyler)

goes over to the girls cabins a bittt too often to flirt with scar (and annoy auri)

called the top bunk as SOON as he got in that cabin

allergic to everything under the sun so the forest scare the shit out of him (the other counselors have yet to figure out why exactly he signed up for a camp . . in the forest)

CANNOT swim and is terrifiyed of the lake on the campgrounds

again no one knows how tf he got hired

scar's theory is the camp had him signed up as a camper and the system fudged the lists up

Zila

so quiet she blends into the forest on accident

once fin was walking down a trail with rations, zila was just off the trail trying to get a goldenrod sample and started talking to him all of a sudden, not realizing she was completely obscured by a tree to his POV. cue the ration packs flying everywhere and fin running back up the trail screaming

once sat on a log for three. hours. motionless, just watching a stream

goes on very mysterious “nature walks” where no one hears a single thing for her for hours and hours

can identify ever bird call

knows every plant, it’s scientific name, if it’s invasive or native, etc etc

100% wakes nari up to see the stars during a meteor shower (in a very platonic way ofc ofc)

has a first aid kit on her at all times

Tyler

Ty 🤝 Nari

           ^

 running that cabin like a boot camp

no bc you will never be able to convince me that their dynamic wouldn’t have been peak

if everyone didn’t have a crush on him, he’d be the counselor everyone complained abt

scar still complains abt him tho (as her sisterly duties require)

actually a boy scout so this is his natural habitat

lovesss ordering people around its like his favorite thing

really demanding but he is also never seen not working on smth so you can’t really get mad at him for it

always starts campfire nights off with some Sun Tzu quote or a #motivational speech

has a trophy shelf in his bunk but its just all the things he's confiscated (the speaker and switch being some of said objects)

Saedii

do what she says. thats it.

is actually pretty chill if you follow the rules, do your chores, don’t get into fights etc.

with that being said, once you screw up, it’s over

shes like a crow she just remembers bro

can remember every camper shes ever had, what the looked like, acted like, every time they messed up etc.

just don’t mess with her

is prepared for every possible situation

bear attack? dw, she’s got a gun. tsunami? she’s trained. wildfire? she’s a volunteer firefighter back home.

doesn't outright say she and kal are related but doesn't not confirm it either

bonded with tyler over their extensive shared knowledge of the camp's allowed procedures in the case of an intruder on the campgrounds

[slothquisitor]

Candlekeep

Liv and Astarion go to Candlekeep. Featuring more complicated family dynamics, Astarion discovering he can walk on walls, and a lot of headcanon about a library city. 7.5k, Astarion x Liv.

Also on AO3.

_____________________________________________________________

There had been a time once when Liv had dreamed of going to Candlekeep. It had seemed a place of beauty and mystery and knowledge. It was a place that seemed to exist only in the sparse letters she received from her brother, in the books she read about the place in some effort to feel nearer to him. She had hoped that perhaps he would send for her and perhaps she would achieve the velocity of escape, finally free of her parents and all of the pain entailed. 

But it hadn’t happened. Roland’s letters had faded into nothingness, and Liv hadn’t needed anyone to save her. She had left all on her own. And now, as she arrives to the spires and the towers, she realizes that she could have come here on her own long before now. The majesty and mystery of the place seep away just a bit, this is just another city, another place in this vast world. 

“So, what sort of welcome should we be expecting? Is Roland as insufferable as Percy?” Astarion asks as they walk along the road that borders the sea. Liv can smell the sea spray and hear the waves breaking against the shoreline in the soft glow of the moon. Her attention isn’t on the sea, but instead on the dark towers that rise up like some great leviathan. 

Candlekeep is warded against teleportation, so they had to teleport to a place near the edge of the Cloakwood and travel the rest of the way on foot. She’s grateful for the delay, for the way it drags out the waiting and the time before she sees Roland again. Over the last week and a half, they’ve exchanged nothing but a handful of sendings coordinating this trip. She has no idea what to expect. 

“Well, seeing as he invited us, I’m hoping for a warm one…but Roland is very different from Percy. Or at least he was,” she says. “I don’t really know what to expect anymore.” She had thought she’d known Percy, but it had turned out all she knew was his mask…the deception he’d used. She barely trusts herself with her perceptions of Roland now, especially since it’s been nearly ten years since she’s seen him. 

“And Roland is a member of the Avowed ?” Astarion twists the word, makes light of it. He’s been incredibly supportive of them coming to Candlekeep, but he hasn’t bothered hiding just how little he thinks of her brother. 

“Yes, he’s a scribe,” she explains. “But out here, names mean little. Everything he has in Candlekeep he hard to earn.”

Astarion shrugs. “I’m sure he’s worked very hard since abandoning you.”

She gives him a warning look. “Can you please try to be nice?”

He grins. “I’m always nice.”

It’s a familiar refrain now. He has the sharpest tongue of anyone she’s ever met, an ability to eviscerate a person in the span of a sentence. His sharp edges have dulled some, now that he doesn’t see every person he meets as a potential threat. 

“We both know that ‘nice’ for you simply involves not stabbing people.” 

He laughs. “I’m wounded, darling. You know I only stab people who deserve it.”

She stops herself from bringing up how they met and the knife he’d held to her throat. “Roland said he had something that could help us with my research, so let’s just hear him out. You don’t have to like him or get along with him, but I would really like to at least look at some of the books they have here before they kick us out for bad behavior.”

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know I have never been kicked out of any establishment.”

“Oh and the pale elf listed in the banned patron’s book at the Waning Moon was just a coincidence, was it?”

“Very much so.”

“It said the elf used the word porcine.” 

Astarion examines his nails. “It’s hardly a crime to have a good vocabulary, my dear.”

The teasing is lighthearted, and a welcome distraction as they enter the strange, black metal gates that lead into Candlekeep. Set into the metalwork is an image of a castle with flames set atop each of its towers, the gates themselves tower over them both, huge and ominous. The nearer they draw, the less this place feels like a city of scholars and far more like a fortress. 

A tall, elven man meets them at the gates. He wears flowing robes in deep purple, and his fists are carefully wrapped. He moves fluidly toward them as they approach. “Names?” he asks. 

“Uh…Liv Vires,” she answers. 

“Astarion Ancunin,” Astarion says with a slight bow and wave of his hand. 

The man nods. “You are expected. The Gatewarden’s office is just inside.” 

She exchanges a glance with Astarion who seems to be cataloging the protections and security. Once they are out of earshot he hisses, “Closed tighter than a patriar’s purse.”

“And that’s just what you can see,” she whispers, noting the way the magic of this place clings to every surface. 

In response, Astarion slips his hands into his pockets in a pantomime of innocence. Liv stifles a laugh even as she smooths her traveling cloak, hoping that despite the hours of walking she looks just as put together as Astarion does. She’s a step behind him as they enter the Gatewarden’s office. 

The Gatewarden is a sturdy, half-orc woman with pale green skin and dark, magenta hair. She’s unarmed, but that means nothing in a place full of archmages and other magical types. Her brother, Roland, stands nearby, shifting uneasily from foot to foot as they approach. 

He looks much the same as he ever did, though his brown, curly hair is longer now. He also has the sparse beginnings of a beard. His dark blue robes suit him, and despite the nervousness, he looks well. His eyes, dark like their father’s watch her as they approach the Gatewarden. 

He offers a smile and a wave as they approach, looks as if he is about to say something, but is cut off by the Gatewarden stepping forward. “Welcome, Seekers. Scribe Roland, can you confirm the identity of these visitors?”

Roland seems to stand a little straighter as if surprised by the decorum suddenly required. “Um, yes. This is my sister, Liv, and her partner, Astarion.” 

The Gatewarden looks satisfied. “And what have you brought as a contribution to the library?” 

Was she supposed to have brought something? She knows it is customary for Seekers to bring knowledge to add to Candlekeep, but Roland hadn’t mentioned it. She does have a few tomes of note pilfered from Sorcerous Sundries, but she’d rather not part with them. She’s fairly certain Astarion doesn’t want to let the Necromancy of Thay go either. 

Roland steps in. “My sister is one of the saviors of Baldur’s Gate. She has a meeting with the First Scribe to tell her story. That is her offering.”

The Gatewarden doesn’t appear impressed but nods anyway. “Very well, you both are welcome in the Court of Air. In order to enter the library, you must meet with the Keeper of the Emerald Door who is available in the morning. You may go.”

Liv cycles through a series of etiquette lessons that don’t seem to cover this situation very well, and settles on a nod and thanking the Gatewarden as they exit the office. 

None of them speak until they’re comfortably out of earshot of the office. Roland shakes his head and is the first to speak up. “Sorry, I really thought that she’d be a little less intense since you’re here on my invitation. I..uh…I trust you had a good journey.” His words are awkward, punctuated by a nervousness she wasn’t expecting. 

“It’s good to see you, Roland,” she offers with a smile. She’s not sure what to do with her hands or if she should hug or wave or something else altogether. It’s been years since she’s seen him, and it feels odd to not do something . 

It turns out to be the exact right thing to have said. Roland smiles, more genuinely this time as he exhales, shoulders relaxing. “It’s good to see you too. And you must be Astarion.” 

Astarion’s smile is strained, his tone a touch too light, too practiced to be entirely authentic. “How very nice to meet you. What were you saying about a meeting with the First Scribe?”

Roland leads them down cobblestone streets that slowly come to life as they wend their way deeper into Candlekeep. It begins to feel less like a fortress and more like a city with people and taverns and life. It’s still quieter than Neverwinter ever was, and the shift is a little jarring. 

“With what Percy told me of the nature of your research, I thought that you’d perhaps want access to the libraries here. It is typically required to present an ‘entrance-gift’ to be granted access to the library itself. However, considering your renown, and the fact that Volothamp Geddarm is the only person who has written down any of your story, I convinced the First Scribe that could be your entrance gift.”

There’s something poetic about the idea that one must add to the knowledge of the library in order to participate in the learning taking place here. “That makes sense. It’s fine with me.”

“But perhaps one should have asked first,” Astarion says, words honeyed but laced with something sharper: a warning. 

Rather than responding to Astarion, Roland ushers their evening along. “I thought we could get some dinner together. And then you have a room waiting for you at The House of Rest.”

“The House of Rest? An entire city of the best and brightest in Faerûn, and that’s the name you give your inn?” Astarion scoffs. 

Liv offers Roland a smile. “That’ll be lovely, I really appreciate you making those arrangements.”

They have an awkward meal, where conversation starts and stops and never does more than skim the surface of small talk. Roland deposits them at the House of Rest, and then promises to meet them in the morning. Liv allows the young tielfing woman at the counter to show her and Astarion to their room, tells her that it will be just lovely, and then as soon as the door is shut, she casts the spell to their own home.

Astarion remains quiet until they are inside, letting out a sigh that sounds like relief. “I thought that dinner was never going to end. Well, is he everything you expected?”

Liv has worked so hard to keep expectations out of this, to not get her own hopes up. But still, she can’t seem to not want things to be different, to be better than they are with her family. “It was fine. I’m sure we’ll get more comfortable as we talk more.”

Astarion shrugs. “Well, we’re here as long as you need, though there doesn’t seem much to do here beyond research. I might die of boredom.”

“You’re not a little interested in the reading material? In getting access to the library?” she asks, walking into their bedroom and sitting at her desk to remove her shoes. 

“Of course, I’m interested, my dear. I’m just not sure how much I love that you’re having to pay our way in with the story of our little adventure,” Astarion replies, undoing the buttons of his doublet.

“I’m sure they’re just wanting a history, an accounting of it all for their archives.”

“He should have asked you first.”

“I really don’t mind.”

Astarion pauses his undressing and narrows his eyes at her. “You never do! That’s not the issue. He should have asked first. He hasn’t seen you in years and the first thing he does is promise your time and your story to someone else.”

“To get us access to the library,” she says as she stands, a strange sort of defensiveness rising inside of her. Astarion doesn’t know Roland…but then does she?

“It’s alright that you don’t want to think poorly of him, but I have no reservations in that regard. I’m sure he did what he believed to be helpful, but Liv…just because you don’t mind doing something doesn’t mean it’s alright.”

“If it gets us access to the library, closer to answers for you and Karlach…it’s worth it to me.”

He shakes his head as he steps close, hand resting on her waist, his words are quiet, almost resigned. “That’s not the point, Liv.”

They let the conversation drop. 

***

In the morning, Roland meets them in the foyer of the House of Rest. Astarion insists on accompanying her to the meeting though she told him he didn’t need to. She casts a cloud of magical darkness to protect him from the sun for the first leg of the journey through the Court of Air, but soon enough they enter the high-ceilinged halls of the inner keep she’s able to dismiss it. 

Roland introduces them to a gnomish woman of indeterminate age who sits at a desk, her quill scratching across the surface of her parchment by magic alone. 

“First Scribe Heliena, may I introduce my sister, Liv and her partner, Astarion. Saviors of Baldur’s Gate.” The titles feel heavy most days, but there’s something about hearing them fall from her brother’s tongue that makes them feel almost impossible.

The First Scribe smiles at her. “Welcome to Candlekeep. If you’d like to stay, Scribe Roland, you may make yourself useful.”

Roland nods and sits at a small desk tucked in the corner, pulling out golden instruments and parchment and quills with a practiced air that tells her he’s done this before. She wonders what tales he’s heard and how hers will stack up. 

“I understand you have quite the tale. Would you consent to a zone of truth for the telling?”

Ever since learning that their story will be the price of entry here, Liv has considered what she can and should tell, the pieces of it most relevant for the history books, the things she should keep to herself. The parts of the story that are not hers to share. She can feel Astarion watching her carefully, the way his shoulders tense. There are some parts of his story he’d rather not have in the history books too. 

“I consent, but there are some aspects of the tale I won’t be sharing since they’re not mine to tell. I hope you understand.”

The First Scribe watches her with sharp eyes but nods once after exchanging a look with Roland. “Good enough. Please take a seat.” She gestures to the soft chairs in front of her desk, and she and Astarion sit across from her. Roland approaches carefully, sets down a small golden sphere. 

“This will record your story, and allow us to play it back for accuracy,” Roland explains as he presses down on the top of the sphere. It begins to levitate, bouncing slightly as it opens up. Roland retreats away to the desk in the corner, a stopwatch in hand.  

Then, magic fills the air, a golden circle of light that blooms in the center of the room before spreading out like a wave. Liv lets it wash over her and doesn’t put up a fight.

“You may begin.”

She starts at the beginning with the nautiloid, the tadpoles inserted in their eyes, barreling through Avernus and crashing on the Sword Coast. She doesn’t delve into everything, every twist and turn of those first weeks by the river. She says nothing of Astarion’s past. She reduces their friends to their best traits, and leaves out the hurt and the pain and the fear. This is a story about heroes after all. 

There are other things she doesn’t tell. She doesn’t share the Emperor’s true identity. She doesn’t talk about Ansur. She doesn’t mention the diabolist that got them to the Hells just that they had managed it. She doesn’t talk much about Shadowheart how they defied Shar, and doesn’t mention her parents or where they went after. She doesn’t talk about Minsc’s turn as the Stone Lord or about Orin’s doppelgangers. She is careful when she speaks about the Crown, says it was destroyed rather than simply fished out of the Chionthar and then returned to Mystra. Some things shouldn’t be sought after. 

But she unflinchingly explains her decision, letting Orpheus transform and then running him through with his own sword. The world should know the sacrifice that was made, and that it was not hers. She’s called a hero, but she did not make the heroic choice in the end. It is knowledge she will always carry. She knows the limit of her goodness in ways others don’t. But even here, she cannot find it in herself to regret it. She simply mourns that there was no other way. 

Astarion sits silent, but alert through her story, simply watching the quill that dances across the parchment while the First Scribe listens. She glances towards her brother a few times, but he is unreadable, strictly professional, eyes never leaving his parchment. She supposes this is neater than having to tell the story again even if it is impersonal. 

When it is done, Liv feels tired and wrung out. The First Scribe smiles. “Thank you for your contribution to the library.”

Roland approaches slowly, taps the top of the sphere, and snatches it out of the air before handing it to the First Scribe along with the notes he’d taken. Liv only catches a glimpse, but it appears to be timestamps and different parts of her story, broken down into sections. 

The First Scribe produces a pass that they can give the Keeper of the Emerald door, granting them access to the library at large. And then they are dismissed. 

Astarion hangs close, as if aware of just how much this telling has drained her. “So, now that we’ve jumped through all the requisite hoops, are you going to tell us what it is you thought would help us with Liv’s research?” 

Roland smiles. “Come with me.”

He leads them through more labyrinthine hallways, and Liv loses track of where they are. A part of her stops caring anyway. She wishes she could ask for a moment alone, some time to catch her breath. It’s been nearly three months since the defeat of the Netherbrain, and she thought she was fine. But the bone-deep exhaustion she felt near the end of their adventure has somehow crept back in with this telling, and she just needs a moment. But she won’t get it, not without drawing undue attention anyway. So she just follows her brother. 

Roland pauses outside of a door. “They’ve been waiting all morning to meet you.”

Liv glances at Astarion and then back at her brother. “Who has?”

Roland smiles broadly as he opens the door. “Your cohort.” She stares at her brother in disbelief. Did he put together a research team? For her?

***

Astarion doesn’t like Candlekeep. He had expected that a city full of scholars and libraries would be rather interesting to experience, solitary even. Candlekeep isn’t like that. In fact, there always seems to be someone around, someone keeping an eye on him. 

At first, he takes it as a point of pride that he looks dangerous enough to warrant such attention. It is a surprise to be watched not for his beauty but for the suspicion of chaos. But as the days wear on, he realizes that it’s far less to do with him and far more to do with the fact that the denizens of Candlekeep are just fucking nosy. 

The nicest thing he can say about the place is that he can travel much of it freely during the daylight hours. Sunlight can cause plenty of damage to fragile books and scrolls, so much of the library doesn’t have windows by design. It is nice to be able to move about the populace during normal hours. It’s almost possible to pretend he’s not a spawn here. Or it would be if, in the spirit of finding a cure for his condition, Roland hadn’t recruited a gaggle of scholars who spend their days asking him asinine questions and watching him with banal contemplation. 

It was entertaining at first, and a sort of novelty. While not all of them fit the tired trope of inexperienced and socially awkward scholar, it’s still fun to poke back at them as they pester him with questions. They ask him the most ridiculous things about blood and the sanguine hunger. They have him do tasks and then drink blood only to do the same tasks again, looking for differences in speed or movement. There seems to be no shortage of people interested in helping with his condition, but sometimes he wonders if they’re actually interested in helping him or simply interested in observing strange phenomena.

The scholars, the cohort , Roland calls them, were his gift to his sister. The best and brightest members of the Avowed at Liv’s beck and call. If there are answers to be found here, they will find them. So Astarion puts up with their questions and the way they watch him. It’s only for a tenday anyway, no Seekers are permitted to stay longer. 

He doesn’t exactly appreciate feeling like a fucking experiment, but one afternoon a scholar named…something…it starts with a G, probably? Anyway, the scholar asks, “I read that vampires and their spawn can scale walls. Is that true?”

“What do you mean, scale walls?” he asks with a huff of frustration. How is this supposed to help him walk in the sunlight?

“Like…walk right up a wall.”

“That’s ridiculous.” He never once saw Cazador do anything of the sort, and he certainly hasn’t tried. Walking up walls. They cannot be serious.

The scholar tucks a strand of hair behind their ear. “Um…have you tried though?”

Astarion sips from the wine he’d been drinking simply to give him something to do with his hands and sets it down on the table as he stands. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.” It’s not. Not by a long shot, but it’s hard to remember that when he’s about to attempt walking up a fucking wall. 

He places his foot against the stone wall of the room he’s been meeting the scholars in, and then, feeling like he’s about to end up on his ass sighs deeply and tries to bring his other foot up. The world…shifts. He is standing on the wall as if it is the floor. He takes several more steps forward in wonder. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” he screeches as he stomps along the wall, walking on it as if it is the ground itself. Two hundred years he’s been able to do this and he’s finding out now ? He can hear Cazador’s laughter in his head. 

“Get out!” The scholars stare at him in disbelief, but he’s not interested in an audience right now. He bares his fangs and snarls in their direction. “I said, get out!” 

***

“I’ve got it from here,” Liv assures Glenna and the other scholars who had come to find her. Apparently, after discovering he can walk up walls, Astarion had kicked the scholars out of the room. She’s not sure what they expected his reaction to be to something like that, but it’s clear they were surprised that he wasn’t simply thrilled with the knowledge. They’d rushed to where she and Roland were studying down in the archives, and she’d immediately abandoned her work. 

“Will you tell him we’re sorry? He seemed really upset.”

Liv nods. “I will.” She waits for the group to disperse down the hall, and then she knocks on the door before stepping inside. 

The room is seemingly empty as she enters. It’s cozy like many of the rooms here at Candlekeep. A fire crackles in the far end, and there are comfortable chairs scattered throughout for reading and studying. There are scrolls and books and parchment abandoned on tables and chairs, left behind by the scholars in their rush to leave following Astarion’s outburst. 

“If you’re here to tell me to apologize, I don’t want to hear it.” Astarion’s voice sounds far away, and she glances up at the ceiling, where he hangs, looking as though he is walking on the ceiling just like it’s the ground. 

“I don’t think you owe anyone an apology,” she says. And she means it. 

“Really?” He’s half-obscured by shadows, arms folded. 

She sighs. “Really. But I would like to know what you’re doing on the ceiling.”

He paces along the ceiling like he’s trying to break a hole in the stone. “I could apparently always do this.” There’s a hint of panic in his voice, a frustration she’s not quite sure how to combat. Astarion’s past is an abyss, a dark and twisting thing that seems to always follow them. Some days he falls back into it, and it takes days to claw himself back out. The path forward for him isn’t always clear…isn’t always linear. She’s sure it’ll get easier with time, but it doesn’t always feel like it is getting easier. 

“Well, it is a little on the nose, isn’t it?” she says, keeping her tone light.

He freezes. “Why do you say that?”

“A vampire on the ceiling…” she teases.

“If you compare me to a bat, I will throw a dagger at you.” There’s no rancor in the words, he’s even smiling a bit. 

“If the shoe fits…” 

He huffs a bit but begins making his way back to the ground. He looks tired, haunted. She’s pretty sure he’s counting down the days until they leave Candlekeep. She stays where she’s standing, letting him decide how close he wants to be. He approaches slowly, face drawn.

“I always knew that Cazador kept our true potential from us. That’s why he wouldn’t let us feed on ‘thinking creatures’. But to be reminded of it…like this…with an audience…I…” His words drop away as he approaches her, he stops a few feet short of her. 

“It felt like a weakness anyone could exploit,” she says, and he finally, finally meets her gaze. His crimson eyes are dark like bruises in the gloom of the room. 

“Sometimes I wish you didn’t see me so clearly,” he looks away, towards the crackling fire. 

She steps close, but not quite touching him, in case he doesn’t want her to. But he just looks at her and doesn’t move away. She moves slowly, reaching up to cup his cheek. His eyes fall shut as he leans into her touch. 

“We can stop at any time, you know. We can leave Candlekeep, go somewhere else.” They’ve only been granted the customary tenday stay of all Seekers, and she’s toyed with asking for more but hasn’t yet. She knows now that she won’t. 

“We don’t need to leave. I just need the afternoon off of being a science experiment, I think,” Astarion says. “Go back to your research. I’ll just…hang around.”

It’s a dumb joke, and it’s not that funny, but hearing him joke about this fills her with relief. “You know, you could send your siblings a no context sending spell, ‘Guess what? You can walk on walls. Hope the Underdark doesn’t suck! Bye!’.”

That startles an authentic laugh out of him. “Can you imagine? Petras would be too stupid to figure out what was even happening, he’d forget what I said.”

And the abyss has been averted. 

***

Candlekeep suits Liv, Astarion thinks. They’re relaxing comfortably in the reading room that’s become the little headquarters of the cohort that Roland built. A few of the scholars are still in the room, but he and Liv have retreated to the nook at the far end, sitting opposite each other on the comfortable bench. 

He’s supposed to be reading, taking notes of anything helpful in the book she’d handed him, but he can’t seem to focus. 

This is Liv’s element. She has five books stacked beside her and another two open in front of her while she takes notes as she reads. The candlelight isn’t strong enough in this corner, so she’s summoned her own light, and it bobs lazily around her, casting her in golden hues. Her dark hair is loose, tossed over her shoulder. She looks different from the Avowed, more comfortable and casual in her sweaters and jackets than their blue robes, but no less fitting in this place. She is beautiful and confident. More sure of herself here than he’s ever seen.

For all his dislike of the place and way he feels ill at ease…Liv is…at home. She thrives amongst these people talking about books and spells and theories. She’d make a good scholar. She’d be an asset here. 

One of the scholars approaches them, and Liv pauses her reading to converse in soft tones. He barely follows the conversation, and is instead struck by her patience, her knowledge. The scholar retreats with a smile, with purpose. Gods, she belongs here , doesn’t she?

“You’re staring,” she accuses, attention back on her book. 

“You’d make a good Avowed,” he says, words snatched out, quiet. 

Liv looks up at him and then smiles softly. “I think that’s a compliment.”

“You’re good at all of this.” He says instead of the question he really means to ask. Would she want to stay here, forever? He could…learn to like it if she did. He’s not sure it’s even an option, but if she wants this…well, they’d figure it out, he supposes. 

She nods, but her eyes are searching his, clearly trying to find whatever has inspired this line of conversation. “I do enjoy it, but the crime rate is a little low here for my liking.”

“Really?” 

She smiles softly. “Why don’t you pick the city we’re going to next?”

He’s surprised by how relieving it is to hear that. He doesn’t show it. Simply nods and turns his attention back to his book. “I will.”

***

“You already know the answer to your problem,” Roland says one late afternoon as Liv continues to pore over dusty tomes and fragile scrolls. Their time is running out here in Candlekeep. They only have another two days, and while Liv has learned so much, she still isn’t closer to an answer…to a cure. “It would solve both the problems, really.”

“Oh?” She looks at her brother. She has been coming at their problem from every angle she can. She has studied the tadpoles to see what it was that had kept the sunlight from hurting him. She has learned more than she believed possible about vampires, their origins, and blood curses. She has even, without admitting to Gale, looked into the divine, to resurrection and creation and she has plenty of theories but still no answers. 

He gives her a knowing look. “A Wish spell, Liv.”

She sighs. It’s a dangerous spell to learn, and even then…she knows the risks and she’d take them, but some part of her is holding out hope for a true cure…something to help more than just Astarion. “I know. I’m hoping for…more?”

“More than a Wish spell? Many wizards have fallen in pursuit of less, Liv.”

She says nothing. 

“What does it matter anyway? Even if you cure his condition , he’ll still outlive you.” Roland’s words are unyielding. She knows he doesn’t mean it in meanness…that this is just logic and practicality, but it hurts all the same. 

She and Astarion haven’t talked about just how much time they will or will not have. Cure or not, he will outlive her. It’s hard to say how long she will have, her proximity to and use of magic will likely extend her life, but for how long she is uncertain. But they will have time. Plenty of it if that’s what they both want. Their relationship is still new enough that talk of forever, of promises beyond right now feel too premature. 

“Even if I wasn’t in love with him I’d want to find a cure,” she says, as she shifts books around. “He wants to walk in the sun again, feel alive. He deserves that.”

The silence that follows drags on long enough that she looks up at her brother. He is simply staring at her as if she is someone he hasn’t seen in a long time. “What is it?” she asks. 

“You’re… you’re just like her…you know.”

Brelia. It might be the best compliment she’s ever received. She’s been fastidiously avoiding this particular conversation, happy enough to just spend time with Roland. Though they have avoided all talk of their family, save for Percy, since her arrival. But now that he’s brought it up…she can’t seem to stop herself from asking the question that’s haunted her for years. 

“Why did you stop writing?” 

The room is still; the silence deafening. “Because I wanted you to stop writing me.”

The fact that it’s the truth or that she’s imagined much worse answers than this doesn’t stop the words from landing like blows. It doesn’t stop the sting of them. She doesn’t know what to say. “Oh.” It’s all she can manage. 

She still hasn’t learned not to bet on losing dogs. She cannot help but hope when it comes to her family. She winds up betrayed every time because somehow, it always comes down to this: they did not want her. Not even Roland. 

“When I came here, I wanted to be someone else. Escape from everything that had happened. Your letters were just a reminder…a connection back to our family. It was selfish, but it worked. And time passed and I got better, but then…it had been so long, and I didn’t know how to talk to you. I didn’t know if you’d want to hear from me anyway.”

She swallows hard, forcing the tears not to fall. “I always wanted to hear from you.”

He can’t seem to meet her eyes. “I….I told myself for so long that not reaching out to you was about protecting myself…about keeping our parents at a distance. But I think it had a hell of a lot more to do with the guilt. I left you alone in that house.”

“You got yourself out and didn’t look back. I find it hard to fault you for that.”

He laughs, but there’s no joy in it. “I don’t. If our roles were reversed…would you have left me?” 

She wouldn’t have. She would have gotten them both out or stayed and fought together. “I…” her words falter.

“I know the answer, even if you’re too kind to say it.”

“We were all victims, Roland. I think doing what we had to survive…it’s okay. I don’t blame you; I blame them.”

She has always known that she was not the only victim of that house, of her parents. She has always known that her siblings suffered in different ways, but suffered still the same. Their parents are cut out, absent from their lives, but the legacy of pain remains. They had tried to twist and break them, pit them against each other, make them rivals, and Liv cannot think of a better revenge than finding love and family in what remains of it anyway. She forgives Roland completely and Percy too. 

Roland nods. “I missed you.”

It is such a relief to hear those words. “I missed you too.”

And it’s a start.

***

The tavern here isn’t crowded, but their corner is busy, filled with scribes and researchers they’ve met during their time here, all come to bid them goodbye. They have not found many answers here, just more questions. Liv insists they’ve found better questions, and she seems to believe that they’ve made some headway and found some direction for a cure for both him and Karlach. Which is nice, but Astarion wishes they had more to show for it. They’ve certainly put in the hours studying. 

Liv sits at the far end of the table, locked in some sort of debate about conjuration theory, and he’s trying not to count down the minutes until they finally get to leave Candlekeep. He sits in the corner, a bit apart from the group. They’re a smart bunch and mostly leave him be, which he is grateful for. He’s spent more than enough time in their company, and while there might even be some of them he genuinely likes, they’re leaving once night falls and he’s not really sure what the point of this send-off is anyway. Except that Liv is smiling and laughing and seems…happy. She’s been happy here. 

Roland sits down beside him. Astarion has avoided Roland where possible. He’s glad that Liv has forgiven her brothers and found a way forward, but he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to forget that they could have helped her and didn’t. It is perhaps ungenerous of him, considering his own history, but they were not compelled. They were not threatened with pain or death. They had choices. And rather than protecting her or saving her, they’d left her or used her. Percy for his own reasons, and Roland for his.

Roland spends a long time looking at his drink before he speaks. “Listen, I’m under no illusions. You don’t trust me.”

Astarion simply smiles. “Well someone should be skeptical, it certainly won’t be Liv.”

“You should know, she and I…we talked. Or started to anyway. We’re fine now.”

“How nice for you,” Astarion replies. He doesn’t give a shit if Liv wants to forgive and move on, but it doesn’t mean he has to. 

“You’re not exactly making this easy,” Roland says. 

“And why should I? You’re not as bad as Percy. He used her while you simply abandoned her, but don’t expect me to praise you for giving her the time of day now your parents are removed from the picture.”

“You don’t know what it was like we didn’t have a choice-”

He will not be lectured by Liv’s brother about suffering. “No. I’ve known far worse, and you did have choices. You chose to leave. You chose to turn a blind eye when as an adult you knew what your parents were doing to a child. You’re ten years older than her. You chose to not help. I know what it’s like to truly have no choices…and you…you could have changed everything for her. Do not talk to me about choices. You made plenty.”

“My sister and I…we did the best we could to protect her.”

“And it was still woefully inadequate and yet…she forgives you anyway. Do not forget what a gift that is,” he takes a big drink of his wine. It’s awful. 

“I’m grateful she found someone like you,” Roland says, finally. 

“Devilishly good-looking?” he quips without joy or humor. 

Roland shakes his head. “Someone who will fight for her. She deserves that.”

He told her once that she deserved far better than she’d gotten. He’d meant it then even without knowing everything he does now. Her childhood was a constellation of pain. A gilded cage. It’s a cosmic unfairness he cannot right, so he just has to settle for holding people responsible when Liv won’t. 

Perhaps there is some part of him that hates this so much because her brothers made the selfish choices and he very nearly did too. If Liv hadn’t been there to pull him back from the fucking abyss…he would have made the selfish choice. He doesn’t like thinking about who he was…what he almost became. 

There’s a lot he could say, inroads he could make, but he doesn’t do any of that. Instead, he simply says, “She deserves everything.” And he means it. 

***

The sun hangs low in the sky, and Liv and Roland walk along Candlekeep’s battlements. She’s already said every other goodbye and thanked the scholars and friends they’ve made during their stay. Their help will be invaluable as she keeps searching for answers, for a cure, for a miracle. But this is the goodbye she’s been dreading the most. 

“Well, it’s official, your boyfriend doesn’t like me,” Roland says with a slight smile as they walk, the stone echoing beneath their footfalls.

“I prefer partner…boyfriend makes me feel like I’m fifteen or something,” Liv replies. 

“Your partner hates me.” 

Liv shakes her head. “He doesn’t hate you.”

Roland laughs. “He does though. Percy said he was prickly and mean, but I didn’t quite believe that.”

Liv shrugs. “He’s nicer to you than he is to Percy.”

“Really?”

“They tolerate each other,” she says with a shrug. It doesn’t much bother her. Her own feelings about her family are complicated as is. She’s not about to tell Astarion how to feel about her brothers. 

“Glad to know it could be worse.”

“We’re never going to be one big happy family.” And as she says it, she knows it’s true. Sometimes your family is simply your partner and your two brothers who barely get along. And it’s still better than anything before because at least this time it’s true. “I’m glad to have you back though. I’m glad to have this. The rest of it will work out or not.” 

Roland approaches the stone wall of the battlement, rests his palms against the stone, and stares out into the sea. “I’ve been trying so hard not to put any expectations on this. On you, especially. But I just…I want us to be a big happy family. How stupid is that?” 

“It’s not stupid, Roland,” Liv says, joining him at the wall. 

“I don’t even know what family is supposed to look like. They took that from us.” His voice is so angry, so bitter, so at odds with everything she’s seen from her brother this trip. She wonders where this was days ago. Why now? Why is he finally vulnerable just as she’s about to leave?

“We can make it our own, you know. Whatever we want this to be it can be. I just want something true. We’ve had enough lies and obfuscation for a lifetime.” She only wants family if she’s getting something real from him. She doesn’t want obligation or duty or any of the things she’s been loaded up with her whole life. She’s fine with it being hard and messy, but it has to be honest. 

“Let’s start small then. Monthly family dinner. Me and you and Percy. What do you think?”

All of them together? It sounds…right. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

He steps closer to her, a bit awkward and unsure, but pushing through anyway. He drapes his arm across her shoulders, and together they watch the sun dip below the line of the horizon. 

“Where are you headed next?” he asks. 

“Astarion’s found a job for us to do in Amn. And then, I think we’re due for a visit with some friends.” 

“That sounds…really nice.”

She pulls away so she can look up at her brother. “I’ll miss you, Roland. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you here. You’ve got an incredible life surrounded by good people. I’m so glad you invited us here.”

His dark eyes are wet with unshed tears. “Do you know how incredible you are? I should have said so before…when you told your story to the First Scribe…I couldn’t believe it. All those things you did. You saved the world. I’m so fucking proud of you.” 

The words take her by surprise. Feel suddenly too big to hold. “Thank you,” she says as she hugs her brother. She remembers what Percy said, that after Brelia died they all broke in their own ways, but that Roland had broken further away. It must have been relieving to break down far away from their family, but it had to be isolating too. She wonders if they’re reclaiming back a piece of that today too. 

“Come on, we shouldn’t keep Astarion waiting,” Roland says. And she casts one last glance toward the sea, trying to commit every bit of this moment to memory. Because at least for this moment, she feels whole.   

[foone]

Some days you get out of bed and feel like it should be dark, and raining, like the sky was falling, like it was never going to stop. But sadly you live in northern California and the weather is nice and sunny, so the outside never matches how you feel inside. And you were feeling bad enough before an FBI agent knocks on your door... It's all downhill from here.

You open the door and don't even attempt a smile. It's Captain... Jenkins? Johnson? You've dealt with him before, wherever his name is. He's young for an agent, and all smiles as usual. It's almost enough to make you vomit.

"Laura! It's good to see you again. May I come in? I may have a job for you, if you're interested."

He holds up a briefcase, still closed, like he expects you to figure that out from the anonymous box.

"I'm not sure I want you to come in right now, captain. And you could have called, or emailed? It's not the 50s anymore, despite what your agency might seem to think." you manage to grumble at him, shying away from the painful sunlight beaming in your door uninvited.

"I did!", he says, somehow managing to smile wider. "No response. And this is urgent, so I thought it was worth a flight down to check in on you in person."

He flew in just to talk to me? Why? This must really be urgent, but why me?

"uhh, give me a moment". You close the door in his face, and move some of the more obvious paraphernalia out of sight. He may have said it's "alright", but he's still a damn FBI agent.

You unlock the door and he comes in and sits down on your couch, before you can say "sit anywhere". He pulls a paper out of his briefcase and shoves it your direction.

"what's this?" "an NDA. This job is potentially a matter of national security, so before I can discuss any details I need you to agree not to speak of this outside this room."

You glance at the page. This is a lot of legal nonsense, but it looks like how you expect. A long list of things you can't do with this information and an even longer list of all the bad shit that will happen if you break the rules.

"I'm not sure I should sign this. Maybe I should call my lawyer..."

He turns, and hands me a pen. "Laura, I understand your hesitation, but this is a standard form, and we're really in a hurry. I had to go through a lot to get my superiors to agree to let you in on this, instead of someone with clearance. I promise there's nothing untoward in here, and if you can take on this job we can offer you five times your standard rate."

This all stinks. This stinks bad. But you sign anyway. You overcharged them last time you worked for them, and if they're going to pay five times that... This might be worth it, even if you have to pay a lawyer to get out of this mess. You sign.

"Great!" he says, and opens his briefcase to show you a pile of documents, and a large hardback book. "So we've got a language that we need to understand yesterday, but as far as we can tell it doesn't seem to match or even resemble anything we've seen before."

You pick up one of the photos. It's a black and white image of a large stone block sitting on its side, in the back of some kind of truck. The symbols carved into the side are all curves, intricate glyphs, looking something like a combination of Hanzi and Devanagari, but with a circular theme not common to either script.

"what is this? Some kind of obelisk?"

"No, it seems to be a container, and we're very worried about what's inside it. That's why we needed your help. We're out of leads for everything else about this case, so this language is our last clue."

"what's inside it?"

"I can't tell you that. But I can confirm it's of serious national security importance."

You study his face. He'd make a good poker player, with that endless smile. A bomb? Biological weapons? Stolen documents? Elvis? An alien? What could be so important that they'd fly him down here and drag you out of your depression just to try to decode it?

He reaches down and picks up the book, opening it to a random page and turning it toward you. "The good news is that we have a lot of examples of this language. This isn't the only book we have on hand, it's just the only one I brought. If you take on this job, I can deliver you all the source texts you could ever need."

You page through the book. This looks handwritten, like calligraphy. "Are you sure this isn't some code? Or a prank? Like someone trying to make a hoax Voynich Manuscript."

He shakes his head. "We can't be sure of course, but we did statistical analysis. There's not enough entropy to be a code, and too much to be a hoax. This is a real language, just not one we've ever seen before. And none of the other experts we've asked have either."

Maybe this really did fall out of the sky. If you get halfway through this and find out it's about little green men from Mars, are they really going to let you just move on to your next job? Or are they going to lock you up in Area 51?

"you say you've got more examples of this script, and I'm your last hope?"

He nods, making a affirmative noise.

"Eighttimes my usual rate and you've got a deal. It'll take a lot to set up book scanning for this." you say, in the hopes he'll balk and leave you alone.

"Great! We've got a deal. I'll have the boys bring the books in." he stands, and walks to the door. "Thanks very much for taking this on. You're our best hope to understand all this."

He steps out, and a minute later there's a knock at the door. You open it, and there's another man in a suit pushing a cart, piled high with hardback books. Behind him, another cart is being loaded from a van.

What have you gotten yourself into?

[forthereaderinserts]

The Yokai Ninja

Chapter 1

the moment you’ve all been waiting for

fucking CONTENT

also, just a heads up, this is a timeline squish au

we wanted to date kakashi, but being 12, that’s kinda hard

so we fixed it :) now most of the ages are shifted to be more appropriate

reference will be on the master list

also this chapter was like 5 pages long which might be a fluke cause i just completely forgot about half an entire episode lol

it ended up being just over 5 pages

[Masterlist]

[next]

~|~

Today was the day, after years of training and studying, of begging to be allowed to join the academy, they were finally going to be a ninja. It may not seem that impressive in the long run, but the first step is the most important part of every journey to the top, even if Y/N didn’t really care about fame or power all that much. Making their way to their usual spot, somewhere close to the middle and away from all the yelling, Y/N sat down and began scanning the room for any potential teenage drama to avoid. Not because they were above it all, they loved a good show, it was just easier to keep your head down as a lurker.

On a second pass, Y/N finally landed their eyes on Naruto. “So, Naruto made it in? I knew he was secretly Iruka’s favorite.” They made a note of this observation. Despite most of the class trying to ignore him, he always seemed to drag trouble around. Speaking of trouble, the sudden screeching at the back door meant the harpies Sakura and Ino had arrived. Nothing against the girls themselves, but they’ve always seemed a bit vain and boy crazy. At least Sakura seemed smart, if she ever matured she would become an excellent shinobi.

Naruto seemed to notice them as well, leaving his seat briefly to greet the pink haired girl. Y/N couldn’t help but feel bad when she all but plowed through him to preen at Sasuke, who they just noticed was sitting next to Naruto. Their view was blocked by the crowd of girls that had gathered, all screaming about wanting to sit next to Sasuke, but the sudden silence that fell over them let Y/N know that something big had just happened. Whatever it was, it was bad enough to send the girls into a feeding frenzy. The malice radiating off of them was practically visible, and Y/N thanked whatever god was up there that they had never been the subject of such a beating.

When Iruka-sensei finally entered the classroom, the girls had already finished with Naruto and he had managed to crawl his way back to his seat, right next to Sakura of all people. Y/N switched their attention over to the man standing at the front of the room, they would be getting assigned to their ninja teams today, and it was important that they actually listened. They didn’t have anyone in particular that they wanted on their team, but they hoped for someone calm and willing to work with others. Maybe the Hyuuga girl, Hinata, though she seemed a bit quiet.

Y/N’s thoughts were interrupted once again, “Alright everyone, I’m going to start listing off your new teams, so make sure to pay attention. Now, because our class has one too many students, one of these teams is going to have four people.”

Four students? Y/N always felt a bit out of place, happening to be the fourth person on their bench, but that had just been coincidence. They hoped they weren't cursed to be the odd man out on their squad, they always worked better in smaller groups anyways. They would find out soon enough though, their name hadn’t been called yet.

“Team 7,” Iruka called out, “You guys are going to be our four man squad, with Naruto, Sakura,” Y/N hears some cheering and groaning to their left. “Sasuke,” Again. “And finally, the fourth member is going to be, Y/N!” Fuck.

Iruka immediately moves on, leaving Y/N to contemplate their sudden awful luck. They just had to be stuck with the most annoying students in the school. Y/N slumped over in their seat, there was no point in listening now, they could just lay down and wait for lunch to be called. At least this time could be spent daydreaming about their future, who their sensei might be, all the awesome missions they would go on. Maybe life wasn’t going to be too bad, they just had to focus on training and relaxing where they could.

By the time lunch came around, Y/N was more exhausted than they thought they would be. After the announcement of Sasuke’s team, the classroom had been filled with complaints from several girls. They hoped no one would start harassing them for being paired with him, but seeing the offhand sneers thrown their way, lunch would most likely need to be held away from everyone. As soon as Iruka-sensei announced the last team, they gathered their belongings and headed to one of the many benches lining the school's property.

All they had was a simple bento, some leftovers they saved from last night's dinner, but they weren’t feeling picky today. After their luck with team selections, they figured it would be safer to just accept whatever was thrown at them. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, they dug into their meal, eating with one hand as they pulled out a book to read after they finished. It was an older novel, something off the shelf they had probably read a hundred times before, despite the concerning pile they had yet to start on. Their family ran a small publishing company in Konoha and had enlisted Y/N as an assistant. They had worked with several big name authors before, but they always liked the small, local titles. There was more heart, more passion for what was written.

They hadn’t even packed up their bento when they saw Sakura walk past them, she was mumbling something about Sasuke and foreheads, “Hey, Sakura,” They regretted starting this conversation as soon as they spoke. “I already ate but if you want, we can sit together for the rest of lunch and get to know each other before we meet our sensei?” She didn’t even offer a response, only pausing slightly before turning her nose up and glaring at them from the side. She resumed her walking with more energy but did not call out for Sasuke again, merely sitting on the bench one down from theirs. Despite the massive failure in team bonding, Y/N was not surprised at the results.

They watched the girl slump over quietly for a second before she jolted up. Looking for what had caught her attention, they saw Sasuke leaning on a tree across from her. For a minute, they just watched as the two stared at each other, Sakura occasionally turning her head in embarrassment. She dropped her head again just as Sasuke started moving towards her, though what he called out left them struggling not to interrupt the moment, “Sakura, your forehead, it’s so wide and charming. It makes me feel like kissing it.” They stared at each other for another moment before Sasuke spoke again, “Just kidding, that’s something that idiot Naruto would say.”

Clearly, that isn’t what Sakura wanted to hear, but Sasuke paid no attention and sat down next to her. She looked up at him again when he asked her a question, “So, what do you think about Naruto?” 

She answered in a whisper, Y/N had to scootch over to hear her, “He knows about how I feel and still tries to bother me everyday; it’s like he does it on purpose, like he wants me to feel bad. Naruto, he doesn’t know anything about me, he’s just a pest. All I really want is for you to notice me, Sasuke.” They couldn’t see his face, but he had stuttered something back, and Sakura confirmed whatever he had just said, “Yeah, that’s how I feel, I’d do anything.”

Y/N was leaning off of the bench now, desperate to catch any detail. When they saw Sakura start leaning in to kiss him, they had to stop themselves from gasping loudly. Just as it seemed they were about to make contact, Sasuke suddenly jerked away and ran off holding his stomach. They sat back up in their seat to avoid being caught spying and watched, wide-eyed, as Sasuke ran back into the school building while Sakura called after him. After a minute of waiting, Y/N and Sakura saw Sasuke walking down the path again. She immediately jumped up and started rambling about kissing, asking him if he was ready this time.

Much to their surprise, Sasuke just ignored her and kept walking forward, head on a swivel like he was searching for someone. Sakura interrupted herself in confusion, “Hey, Sasuke, where are you going?”

He ignored her again and asked his own question, “Naruto, where is he?”

Her back was facing them, but Sasuke’s uninterested face was in full view as Sakura began ranting again. “Why are you changing the subject again? Anyways, forget Naruto! All he does is pick fights with you. Y’know why he’s so annoying? It’s ‘cause he wasn’t raised right, he doesn’t have a mom or dad to teach him how to behave!”                                                                    

Y/N stared in disbelief, eyes widening in shock at Sakura’s words. Was that really what she thought? They were surprised Sasuke didn’t have anything to say, all he did was continue to ignore her and look around halfheartedly. Wasn’t he an orphan as well?

Sakura continued, not realizing that the boy in front of her wasn’t paying attention, “Just think about it! He does whatever he wants, as soon as it comes into head!”

Sasuke finally snapped out of his daze, stiffly turning his head to glare at Sakura. The malice he radiated was enough to make them shiver.

Sakura continued, every word only making him more furious, “If I acted like Naruto? Forget it! I mean, my parents would get mad and I’d get in trouble, why would I ever mess around like that? But, I guess, if you don’t have parents to punish you, how would you know? He’s just selfish and bratty, it’s no wonder he’s all alone.”

His scowl deepened before he looked down, his eyes closing and his fists clenching in anger as he stepped to the side, preparing to walk away. “Alone… Isolated…” Sakura threw her head up, finally stopping her rant. “It has nothing to do with whether your parents scold you or not, you have no idea what it means to be alone.”

She took a step backwards, her arms raising slightly, “Why, why are you saying all this?!”

Sasuke turned his head, glaring viciously at her, “Because, you’re annoying.”

Without waiting for her to respond, he walked away. Sakura stood there, staring after his retreating form, before stumbling backwards and slumping down on the bench. Y/N followed her lead, pushing out a breath they didn’t know they were holding, eyes wide as saucers. Hesitantly, they started gathering their belongings, occasionally glancing over at the despondent girl. She had hunched over, gripping her hair and making faces. They considered checking on her, but they wanted to give her some space after that show.

Just as they were about to stand, Naruto finally made an appearance, clutching his stomach and grumbling to himself. Their eyes darted over to Sakura, watching as she made a face like she smelled something horrible. She seemed to collect herself before calling out to the boy, though her expression never dropped.

“Hey, Naruto…! We should walk back to class together.”

She let out a strained chuckle, messing with the fabric at the front of her dress. Naruto stood for a second, seemingly awestruck, before his expression quickly turned sour.

“Trying to trick me, huh, wise guy? Well, I’m not falling for it!”

Naruto brings his hands in front of himself, moving to perform a jutsu, a determined look on his face. He opened his mouth to call out his move, pausing before he could utter a sound, and let out a groan. He clutched his stomach, hunching over. He stumbled backwards, turned shakily, and ran back towards the school building, screaming.

“Again? Why is this happening to me!?”

Y/N and Sakura stared as he bolted, waiting in bated breath for something to break the silence. It seemed that Sakura would be doing the honors, though. As she started to make a choking noise, they turned to look at her, watching as she shook her head in anger. They jumped back in their seat when she threw her head up and cursed Naruto out.

“Naruto, you idiot!”

At that, Y/N decided to leave the girl to her rage. Getting up from their bench silently, they walk back into the school and decide to spend the little time left of lunch reading. As they pass the bathrooms, they crash into Sasuke.

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry-”

“Tch, whatever. What do you want?”

They blink dumbly while Sasuke’s scowl deepens. Just as he moves to push past them, Y/N scoffs loudly and continues on their way, shoving him to the side with their shoulder. They ignore the indignant sounds coming from the boy, and keep walking towards the classroom.

The rest of the day went by slowly, and now it was just waiting for their new sensei. Supposedly, they were a Jonin; with how late they were, Y/N was surprised they even graduated. They were seated a few seats next to Sasuke, everyone had congregated to the front of the room after all the other jonin had taken their students. Naruto had taken to pacing and Sakura mumbled to herself every so often nearby. It seemed like they were all just waiting for something to happen, luckily Naruto couldn’t go too long without complaining. 

“Come on, man! Everyone else has already left, how come our sensei is so late?! Even Iruka-sensei went home already!” 

Sakura piped in, “Naruto, calm down. Even if he's late, we need to be respectful. He’s a jonin after all.” Despite her calm words, you could tell even she was starting to get tired of waiting.

“No way! If he’s gonna be this late, I'm gonna teach him a lesson!” Y/N barely lifts a finger to stop Naruto from balancing an eraser on the door, this could potentially be the funniest thing they’d ever seen. 

It seemed the rest of their teammates had the same idea, as they only offered minor complaints and warnings that a jonin wouldn’t fall for a prank like that. Now that the trap had been set though, it was only time until it got set off. Almost immediately, a hand grabbed onto the door.

Everyone sat with bated breath as the door creaked open and the eraser landed on the head of a gray haired jonin. He’s… so young.

Naruto burst out laughing instantly, ignoring the heated glare of the older ninja in front of him, “Hahaha! I can’t believe it! This guy’s supposed to be a powerful ninja?”

“Naruto!” Sakura scolded, “I tried to stop him sir, I would never do something like this!” Y/N scoffed under their breath, unknowingly drawing the attention of Sasuke and their new leader.

Sasuke’s eyes flickered over to them for a moment before resting his gaze back on their teacher.

“Well, regardless.” The older teen scowled, “I’d have to say, I think you’re all a bunch of idiots. Now, follow me to the roof.”

[kuwajima]

For a while I was considering writing a fic inspired by OMWF in which Inosuke was the one who was deaged because I thought of it and it sounded so incredibly chaotic—I ultimately decided I already had way too many projects on my hands so nothing came out of it, but here is a list of things that would have happened/been in the fic if I did write it:

Inosuke would not know how to talk yet. Tanjiro would think this was an opportunity to get Inosuke to actually pronounce people’s names correctly. The first thing Inosuke says is: “GA’PACHIRO!”

Squealing at the top of his lungs like a piglet and violently flailing around whenever anyone tries to pick him up

Refusing to go into the bathroom because once Aoi got mad at him for peeing on the floor and when she dragged him in there he thought she was going to throw him in the toilet

Dragging blankets and sheets off of beds to curl up with them in the corner of the room like a nest

I don’t think it would go over well if Tengen tried to take Inosuke in, especially since bby Inosuke is a flight risk (meaning he just wanders off without thinking twice about it; he’s not trying to escape he just doesn’t realize he’s not supposed to leave) and I can’t imagine Tengen would bother to repeatedly track him down. He stays with Shinobu—much to Shinobu’s chagrin.

Kanao would be absolutely bewildered by Inosuke and have no idea what to do with him. Inosuke likes her coin though. She lets him play with it until he tries to eat it.

He’s like a puppy in the sense that he chews up anything he can get his hands on. All the blankets in his nest have holes in them.

Giving him baths is like a three person job because of how much he screams and flails around. He acts like they’re trying to kill him.

He’s even worse about stealing people’s food as a toddler and will literally snatch things out of their hands when they’re right about to eat them

To everyone’s utter shock Zenitsu is really good with toddler Inosuke and is the only one besides Tanjiro who’s able to get him to calm down when he’s freaking out or throwing a fit

He gets nightmares a lot though, which is especially tricky because he isn’t really even able to express what he’s upset about. Surprisingly this is the only time when he lets people hold him. Only on his terms, of course, they have to wait for him to come to them—he’ll crawl onto either Zenitsu or Tanjiro’s lap and refuse to let go for the rest of the night.

This is the only thing he’s embarrassed about when he’s back to normal. Everything else he did he thinks was perfectly reasonable.

What fun ideas!! If you ever do decide to write the fic, I would love to read it! De-aging fics are one of my favorite genres, there is so much potential for fluff and humor, or angst! Or a mixture of the two!

What a cool concept! I wonder if Inosuke would have slight memories of Kotoha in that state, or would be only be upset by the lack of Boar Mom? 😭

Without giving too much away for my own fic, I think there’s so much potential in a ‘Kanao interacting with a child’ scenario! It’s so fun to explore how someone responds to a child, especially one they aren’t yet connected with.

[leiasources]

𝑺𝑾𝑬𝑬𝑻  𝑯𝑶𝑴𝑬  𝑨𝑳𝑨𝑩𝑨𝑴𝑨  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.    a  compilation  of  sentence  starters  from  and  inspired  by  the  film  sweet  home  alabama.  potentially  triggering  themes  present.  feel  free  to  adjust  as  necessary  but  do  not  add  to  the  list.  thank  you!

‘ your dream for me was to get out of this place and be somebody... ’

‘ how come it has to be so complicated? the truth, life... this. ’

‘ i mean, who hasn't been embarrassed by their parents at one point or another? ’

‘ are you sure? are you really sure 'cause if you're not sure, we could just go back to the car. ’

‘ well, aren't you just a big, fat liar... ’

‘ what makes you think that you can treat them like something you stepped in in those fancy shoes? ’

‘ oh, what do you want, {name}? i don't even think you know. ’

‘ i'd forgotten how beautiful this place was. ’

‘ you're right. i have changed, i don't even know that person anymore. ’

‘ this certainly is a surprise, hearing from you, you know... you being a busy girl and all. ’

‘ i remember standing there, thinking, 'oh, preacher, hurry up before he changes his mind.' ’

‘ sometimes that man makes me so mad, i could just wring his neck. ’

‘ in my entire life, i have never met anyone so manipulative, so deceitful... ’

‘ oh, come on, it's not like anybody can keep a secret around here... ’

‘ nothing is going to come between me and my protege. ’

‘ no one is going to change my mind about this. not you, not the media, not anyone. ’

‘ that's all that matters to you, isn't it? the money, the labels... you're pathetic. ’

‘ just tell me what i can do to make you happy. ’

‘ i met somebody.. and they're quite a catch... ’

‘ i, um... actually, i was thinking maybe we could have the wedding here, in my hometown.. ’

‘ well, look what the cat dragged in... ’

‘ so, what put you in jail this time? ’

‘ i'm just saying, i saw the way you two were looking at each other. ’

‘ those people are the only family you got. get your butt back in that car, drive over and see them, and then maybe we'll talk. ’

‘ the girl i knew used to be fearless. ’

‘ have you thought about children? ’

‘ you know what? i think you're right. i have had enough. ’

‘ you know i hate surprises. what's going on? ’

‘ you're shitting me, right? ’

‘ will you marry me? ’

‘ you show up here, after years without so much as a 'hey there, {name}, remember me? your wife?' or a, 'hi, honey, lookin' good. how's the family?' ’

‘ it must be exhausting, living a lie... ’

‘ hi, honey! looking good. how's the family? ’

‘ guess we all have our little secrets, don't we? ’

‘ now, {name}, you can't just go breaking into peoples houses. ’

‘ what's going on? where are we? ’

‘ look at you, all fancy, you look like you just stepped out of a magazine. ’

‘ i thought that baby would be an adventure... and it took me a while to realize that would have been your only adventure. ’

‘ please tell me he has a flaw somewhere. ’

‘ it's funny how things don't work out. ’

‘ hot damn, do we miss you around here. ’

‘ nobody finds their soulmate when they're {number} years old. ’

‘ how about another round of drinks for my friends here? ’

‘ oh, i missed you alright, but at this range my aim is bound to improve. ’

‘ i can't believe you're still wearing that same stupid hat. ’

‘ i never meant to hurt you, or anybody else for that matter. ’

‘ if you think i'm going to let some girl talk you into getting married... ’

‘ would you mind terribly if we kept this to ourselves for a few days? ’

‘ i've dealt with an awful lot from you over the years. ’

‘ i thought you said you took care of this. ’

‘ she's not 'some girl', she's my fiancee. ’

‘ you and i are different. we're not better, we're not worse, we're just different. ’

‘ you and i are in love with entirely different people. ’

‘ you show up here and then you insult my friends, acting like you're better than them? ’

‘ what i need to know is if there is a place for me in your future. ’

‘ i was hoping to get an interview with you and your family, and maybe a few pictures, if you don't mind? ’

‘ oh, like you're going places... ’

‘ what are you doing with all that cash? why don't you invest it? ’

‘ when was the last time you pushed me around the dance floor? ’

‘ i think i had enough fun for one night. ’

‘ get out of here before you make me cry. ’

‘ don't get me started on the things that i don't understand. ’

‘ you can't believe everything you hear on tv. ’

‘ you owe me a dance. ’

‘ i'm happy in {location} but then i come down here and this fits too. ’

‘ oh, sweetie, you look tired. are you tired? ’

‘ i mean, how do you people live like this anyway? ’

‘ hold on, what are you doing with all that cash saved up? ’

‘ you are just like your father. ’

‘ no, not 'like old times', alright? times have changed. ’

‘ why didn't you tell me you came to {location}? ’

‘ all of a sudden i just... i needed a different life. ’

‘ this is one of those disasters waiting to happen. you know, one of those big ones that only cockroaches survive. ’

‘ look at you, always the belle of the ball. ’

‘ i didn't break in. i used a key, my key. ’

‘ did you know that there's a great, big world out there and it has absolutely nothing to do with marriage, or children, or... ’

‘ you ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn't gotten pregnant? ’

‘ i'll see you at the show. it's going to be great. ’

‘ he can give you a life that you and i only ever dreamed of and he adores you. ’

‘ there is a wedding in your future whether you like it or not. ’

‘ god, i can't wait to see the look on my mother's face... ’

‘ i hesitated long enough to realize that my head and my heart were saying two different things. ’

‘ look at you... you have a baby. in a bar. ’

‘ we were wondering when we were going to see you. ’

‘ you're doing the right thing. ’

‘ you shouldn't want to marry me. ’

‘ i love you, i love you, i love you... ’

‘ you're not doing anything illegal, are you, {name}? ’

‘ i don't know what else to say... but i'm sorry... ’

‘ oh god, what if they hate me? ’

‘ when everything went pear-shaped, you never left my side, and then i just left you. ’

‘ hell, i bet your folks don't even know you're in town. ’

‘ there's nothing i can do, the law is the law, and she has done nothing wrong. ’

‘ you are one hard woman to get in touch with. ’

‘ oh my god, you're engaged?! ’

‘ is that what you want? to be humiliated in front of all of your friends? ’

‘ i can't marry you. ’

‘ at least i'm doing something with my life. ’

‘ this is just as you described it. it must have been amazing, huh? growing up here? ’

‘ {name}? is that you? it's so late, are you alright? ’

‘ you can't just leave. ’

‘ holy shit, what happened to the stove? oh, and where are the magnets i had on the refrigerator? ’

‘ you know nothing about her. are you sure you even know who she is? ’

‘ one man for the rest of my life? i'd ball my eyes out. ’

‘ what the hell are you two trying to do? get yourselves killed? ’

‘ that accent of yours is a whole lot thicker when you're sleeping. ’

‘ i came out here to say thank you. ’

‘ what you are doing? ’  /  ‘ leaving. you've done it, you should recognize the gesture. ’

‘ you didn't need to call, just come by. ’

‘ why do i feel like i'm in the middle of times square buck naked? ’

‘ why would you want to marry me for anyhow? ’

‘ i thought you would be gone. ’

‘ i got to get home. my mom's going to kill me. ’

‘ i really don't care what happened... so you have a past. who doesn't? ’

‘ for somebody who's been holding onto something so hard, you're pretty quick to let it go. ’

‘ are you in town for awhile? ’

‘ i better back off. don't want to get you in trouble with the little lady. ’

‘ it's not like that. ’

‘ i, um... i tried to call you a couple of times... ’

‘ don't i get a smile? i know you got one in there somewhere. ’

‘ see, the truth is i gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and i never really got it back. ’

‘ i don't know who you are or what else you lied about... ’

‘ you don't remember me, do you? ’

‘ i guess i figured if i was pointing at you then nobody would see through me. ’

‘ what upsets me is that she lied to you. ’

‘ you've done real well for yourself. i'm proud of you, {name}. ’

‘ who could be calling at this hour? ’

‘ i would have come sooner if i'd known you were sick. ’

‘ i'm your friend and i have to read about it with twelve million other people! ’

‘ you two got a whole lot of catching up to do so i'm just going to leave you to it.’

‘ i just thought i'd surprise you.’

‘ this isn't who i am anymore. ’

‘ could we try to keep this as civilized as possible? ’

‘ nice to see you got your accent back. ’

‘ you're the first person i ever kissed, {name}, and i want you to be the last. ’

‘ maybe you and i had our chance. ’

‘ you can take the girl out of the honky-tonk but you can't take the honky-tonk out of the girl. ’

‘ i'll tell you what it's not like... it's not like they're the only one around here that you ran out on. ’

‘ at least i fight for what i want. ’

‘ you called the sherrif? you know that old bastard hates me! ’

‘ bring that pretty face over here and gimme a hug. ’

‘ i bet you sat there wondering what you did wrong. ’

‘ you looked like you were having fun out there tonight. ’

‘ you remember that vandalism incident out at the stockyard? totally her. ’

‘ did you cry? ’

‘ next time you lock somebody out, make sure they don't know where the spare key is hidden. ’

‘ don't even pretend you spent all this time missing me. ’

‘ what did i ever do to you? ’

‘ i've been planning this for weeks... ’

‘ at the risk of being rejected twice, i'm going to ask you again... will you marry me? ’

‘ you expect me to tell you you look good? what, did they run out of soap down at the piggly wiggly since i left? ’

‘ see, that's the thing. i'm not really a 'watch and see' kind of girl. ’

‘ 'no,' you won't answer or 'no,' you won't marry me? ’

‘ you know, i've really made something of myself, i have a career, people actually want to be me... and somebody loves me and i love them. ’

‘ i just think that you deserve better. that's all. ’

‘ you know, i've never actually understood that expression, but no i'm not 'shitting' you. ’

‘ i don't have a single childhood memory that doesn't have you in it. ’

‘ don't see the likes of you around these here parts much. ’

‘ so, have you made a decision? ’

‘ you get a second chance so please don't mess it up. ’

‘ i haven't seen my folks in years and i feel like this is something i should tell them in person. ’

‘ i don't ask you about your boyfriend. you keep your nose out of my life. deal? ’

‘ i am better than them! ’

‘ i'm sorry about what i said. i'm really sorry. ’

‘ since when does it have to be one or the other? you can have roots and wings. ’

‘ you don't want to marry me. ’

[overobsessedfanboy23]

Top Ten Arc V Characters (Updated)

I was doing another Yugioh tier list and noticed that my opinions on this changed drastically since I first watched Arc V. So here's an updated top ten Arc V characters. Some of these picks may be partially motivated by spite. Also, I'm definitely gonna go back and forth between sub and dub names. Arc V is about even in dub and sub for me and some of the dub names are easier for me so just bear with me.

10 Dennis Mackfield

Dennis is kind of just funny to me but he does also have a complete character arc that isn't botched or cut off in some way, which is more than I can say for some other Arc V characters. He's a naughty bad guy but an enjoyable one who was kind of just a brainwashed kid with a redemption I can accept.

9 Yuto

The only Yu boy I can comfortably say I still like. He's got a sympathetic backstory that realistically shaped his current personality and while he appears scarcely, I enjoy the times he does. I like his dynamics with Yuya, Ruri, and Shun.

8 Shingo Sawatari

He's a cringe fail boy. I like the cringe fail funny characters that exist to be laughed at. I do wish Sawatari had more of an arc or development but at the end of the day, he's entertaining and that's all a character needs to be sometimes.

7 Sora Shiunin

Rushed as shit redemption arc aside, I find Sora's energetic hyper personality of season 1 entertaining and Sora vs Shun genuinely felt like a huge betrayal. On paper, the reasons for his redemption work and are sympathetic, I just wish more time was dedicated to fleshing it out. Still, wanting more of a character is generally a good thing.

6 Shinji Weber

I like villains/antagonists who have valid reasons for being upset. If anything, they actually made Shinji too valid up until they pulled the "he wants to oppress the rich" thing out of their asses but that's a can of worms on its own. I think Shinji's motivation is understandable, even if, for the writers' intentions' sake he "went too far", and those are the kinds of antagonists I like most. Also, he's canonically good with kids like Crow is and I just really like that. It shows he's got a sweet centre beneath all the gruffness and anger he displays. I like that.

5 Riley Akaba

Talk about wasted potential jesus christ. "This character has known nothing but being a vessel for other people's desires. So let's end the series by forcing her to once again be someone's vessel!"

Horrific treatment aside though, I still enjoyed Riley as a character. I relate to her anxiety, I liked her arc while it lasted, she and Declan have such a great sibling bond, she's still a good character. But yeah... the way the narrative botched her did drag her down a few slots I'll admit.

4 Zarc

One of the only saving graces of the fusion arc as far as I'm concerned. His escalation of wanting more and more violence in his duels as the audience pressured him into harsher duels was interesting and felt narratively cohesive with the better parts of Yuya's arc. And the way he's eventually stopped, not by defeating him but by Yuya understanding him and reminding him why he was duelling in the first place, that's really touching. One of my favourite Arc V moments for sure.

3 Serena

Yeah, I like Serena more than Yuzu. Even putting aside the fact that I loved her Duel Links event and her fusion based deck, Serena stayed a good character. The narrative treated her as badly as it treated Yuzu but her personality, when she was in her right mind, remained the same: headstrong, stubborn, and fierce. Plus she was the first to defect from Duel Academia and she did it best in my opinion.

2 Shun Kurosaki

I like Shun for all the same reasons I like Yuto: his genuinely tragic backstory that damaged him and turned him into the edgelord we know and love him as. He's also just way more badass and has more character development than Yuto. The way he's able to regain some form of happiness and stability over the course of the series despite all the horrors he endured, thanks to his new bonds with characters like Crow and Yuya, was really endearing to me. I'm probably the only person on earth with this opinion but as dumb as the bracelet girls and yu boys fusing together was, I think the one good thing that came out of it was that Shun had to just accept that Yuto and Ruri were gone. I get why people found it unsatisfying, but I think the fact that he was able to move on showed a lot of strength that I have to admire him for.

1 Declan Akaba

Declan is my favourite because I relate to his family situation and I refuse to explain myself further.

....Okay fine. I'll admit, Declan isn't the most well implemented character in terms of Arc V's narrative. I think we can all agree his change in character was out of nowhere and Sawatari made for a better rival to Yuya. But dammit I don't care I like him anyways. I think his moral ambiguity is fascinating. He's fighting on the "right" side and has good intentions and goals but some of the things he does to accomplish that goal range from morally ambiguous to just straight up evil at times and I love that. It's one of the best examples of one of Arc V's core themes: "war corrupts both sides." And while his switch to being a better person is sudden, I can accept it to a degree because in my mind, he always wanted to do the right thing and genuinely cared deep down. It doesn't excuse his early actions but it does help me understand and identify with him.

Also, no, I wasn't joking or exaggerating about relating to Declan's family situation. Without giving away too much, I have an intimidating father who's not around much, a manipulative mother who's around but in all the wrong ways, and a younger sibling who I've had to watch be treated poorly by my mother for years. Declan's situation is more extreme but the similarities are... they're hard not to notice. Declan is number 1 on this list because of how much I relate to and look up to who he is by the end of the series. He'd probably still be on this list either way but he's at number 1 because of how much he personally means to me.