#i have a lot of Thoughts on John's relationship to gender

[mayasaura]

There's a fascinating double standard in a lot of the analysis of John's influence on the Nine Houses' society. Like, the role of cavaliers, the widespread commodification of the remains of the dead, these are all faults the Nine Houses have inherited directly from him. Fair enough. But the lack of gendered roles, the complete lack of male primogeniture, homophobia, or patriarchal family structures, these of course have nothing to do with John, who is definitely a misogynist.

edit: what I mean is that the stuff that makes it easy to hate John and frame him as a mustache twirling villain tends to be entirely credited to him, while complications to that narrative tend to fall by the wayside. this post has nothing to do with misandry and everything to do with craving nuance

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

I asked a few of my favorite hazbin writers this and only one answered and it was ok but I felt like it could have been expanded on so here's my take

Vox, Val, Alastor, and Lucifer react to your love language being baking/cooking

Vox

(Starting with him because he's the one thaf inspired this).

Vox came from the 50s and even though I firmly believe he is past all the ingrained gender roles and homophobia I think he still has some internalized misogyny. He wants to be viewed as the man in the relationship, the breadwinner, the provider. He can cook for himself but it's pretty basic food (except steak. Like every other man since the invention of the grill how to bbq has been hardwired into his brain. If his partner also grills ya'll fight over whose turn to cook out it is)

(Unrelated but as a lesbian who loves to grill, and is the designated grill bro, butch lesbians or cookout lesbians are some of Vox's favorite type of gays to chill with)

I firmly believe that's why even though he's a sub, it's so hard and would take time and trust to get him to let you top and enjoy it. He's so worried people will find out and judge him, that you'll judge him. His ego can be very fragile.

Especially if we go with the Vox used to be a cult leader theory. His power, image, and success are linked to his ability to appear in control. To appear to have all the answers and take responsibility. It's going to take a lot of time and patience to unravel all that and help him seperate his personal and professional image.

That being said, a partner who uses acts of service as a love language is perfect for him. He's a busy man, so he tends to be a gift giver type. The gifts are always well thought out and expensive. He wants it to be something you need, want, can get a lot of enjoyment from, and be worth the money spent, so he puts time and effort into them. Unless he's just showing off by giving you his card and telling you to go nuts.

So you taking time to make his coffee for him the way he likes, ordering lunch from his favorite places and having it sent to his office so he remembers to eat, or just texting him reminders to drink water or eat/take breaks throughout the day makes him giddy.

If you're his assistant or something, (and I believe Vox absolutely would have his partner working for him/with him), then it's even better when you take on extra work to try and help him. Organizing his schedule, sorting emails/mail, and proofreading things. Any small act you do for him, because you want to and care about him, makes his heart rate pick up.

It'll really make him overheat, glitching slightly, literal heart eyes, if he comes home after a shitty day and you're cooking for him.

His internal monologue is absolutely raving about what a good housewife you are for him, a hard working husband.

Bonus points if you cleaned too! Either way, he adores you even more now, letting you fret and coo at him, removing his jacket and tie, pouring him a drink and telling him dinner will be ready soon and you made his favorite. He's so tempted to bend you over the counter right now, but that would ruin dinner. After you guys eat though, he's having you for dessert. Man's gonna make sure you know how much he appreciates this by turning your knees to jello, good luck walking tomorrow, doll.

If you bake treats and bring them to VoxTek he's gonna brag so much. Literally the embodiment of John Mulaney's, "That's my wife!" If you bring them just for him, he's defending his treats like they're the last ones in Hell. He has literally hit Val with a fly swatter for even asking if he could have one.

(Unrelated but like, chubby vox maybe? You're cooking is too good)

Valentino

Val wishes he could cook better. He's some kind of latino, so I feel like the fact he can't cook very well is a sore spot culturally. He can make the salsa and chips and like, help with stuff, he knows how to wrap tortillas and tomales (I picture him as like Mexican or Puerto Rican but that's just cuz the town I grew up had a large Puerto Rican group).

It doesn't help that his eyesight is even more shit in Hell. He can't see what he's doing hald the time. It ruins his art hobby too. He's overall just more easily frustrated with his bad eyesight.

I don't imagine you guys dating per se. Maybe you're his sugar baby, maybe you're someone he hired to help him do stuff like clean and organize and you just sorta start doing other things to help him. (Again I'm not saying it excuses jackshit, but as someone who worked with bipolar people and people with mood disorder I kinda see the fan theory in him, either way I think all the Vees could be sort of trained to be better people, but especially Val. We already saw Vox do it.)

After all, he's usually in a much better mood if you do and that means less outbursts. The first few times you cook him something he teases you about being his housewife, tries to make it sexual. It's not really something he clocks as being an act of love because I don't think you'd realize it yourself at first. I think the more you got to see him when he wasn't stressed, lashing out, being abusive, you'd start catching feelings. ("I can fix him", delulu asses)

He loves to be in the kitchen when you cook once it starts becoming a regular thing. He can't see clearly what you're doing but the way you move around the kitchen and get what you need, even if you're an ADHD mess and do steps out of order or at random, he can tell you know what you're doing. He likes to smell the food too while it's cooking.

He will ask you to try and make some spicier/more traditional foods he grew up with, but he doesn’t remember all of the ingredients, and it just gets him more frustrated he can't tell you. If you look them up and surprise him with it it'll probably be the most genuine, human response you get from him.

He's shocked, silent, standing frozen in the penthouse as familiar smells waft around him. You present him a plate nervously, practically shaking hoping it's good enough. The first bite nearly puts him in tears. No one's done anything this nice for him? Why would you? Lowkey thinks you want something from him. It's gonna make him paranoid for a while so don't expect a verbal compliment but he eats it all.

Eventually though, one day when you're in the kitchen cooking, humming softly and swaying your hips, one set of his arms will wrap around your waist, the other reaching around you help with the salsa, or wrap a tamale, and he'll prop his chin on your head and mumble out thanks. Some praise, maybe. Would definitely tell you stories about eating these foods growing up.

It's the first step towards having an actual relationship with him.

Alastor

This man almost always insists on cooking. He isn't much of a sweet tooth either. You tell him one night you want to try cooking for him. Tell him you understand it's an activity he enjoys and relaxes too, (especially if you know it's something that reminds him of his mother), but you want to do something for him and this is one way you show you care.

It's gonna remind him of his Mama so much that if you didn't know why he loved cooking so much before you do now. He compromises. You pick the meal and gather the ingredients and do most of the cooking and he helps prep and does dishes.

He playfully critiques you the entire time about adding some spice too it or a little southern flair. Just smack him with the wooden spoon, gently. It's gonna make him laugh because his Mama used to do that when he wouldn't keep out of the sweets, or tried to add stuff to her cooking.

Once you start it becomes habit to help each other in the kitchen every night, trading off who cooks and who preps and does dishes.

If you do find baked goods he likes that aren't too sweet and send them to him as snacks, especially to Overlord meetings, he's so fucking obnoxious about his sweet little doe (doesn't matter if you are one or not) and how they spoil him. Especially rubs it in Vox's face (not him whining to his partner so they send him with treats too so he can also brag).

Only shares with Charlie, Rosie, Niffty, and sometimes Zestiel. If he's feeling generous, Husk can have a bite.

Low-key also has a thing for his partner behaving domestically even if he isn't exactly invested in traditional marriage.

Favorite activity though is dancing with you in the kitchen to jazz while dinner cooks, holding you close, in his room usually, so he can hear the sounds of the bayou. If he closes his eyes he can pretend this is how his life went and that his Mama is in the corner or sitting in her chair, watching him, happy to see him find someone.

He will literally kiss Vox willingly before admitting that last part though.

Lucifer

It's not that he can't cook, it's just....it's easier to just snap his fingers and make food appear. He's been in a depressed slump for decades man, he's lived off of the 'want food, no cook, only eat' mindset.

When you come into his life it's a complete overhaul. Despite what issues you have yourself you can recognize someone in worse state than you and immediately categorize and prioritize. First thing first, get this man's duck collection/obsession organized, thinned out, and under control.

Second, help him work through his issues with Lillith and Charlie. Encourage therapy, be a mediator between him and Charlie (and trust me she appreciates it. She knows her dad struggles, didn't know how bad, and still feels awkward). Help him socialize more, rebuild his connection with the other sins.

Get this man a work schedule!

Then it's on to personal habits. You help him get out of bed, you're both probably a little helpless in the sleeping on time category though. Help him get a routine again to keep out of his funk. Then you start cooking for him. It just happens naturally. You enjoy cooking, you enjoy showing people you love how much you care by providing good meals.

At first he's gonna resist and tell you he can handle that, you already do so much for him. He can cook or better yet he can just make it appear and you laugh and tell him it tastes better when it's made with love. He brushes it off as a joke too, you're both just being silly and obviously you said that to get him to quit fussing. Except, unholy hell does it actually taste so much better.

Lucifer hadn’t realized how bland and unsatisfying just materializing the food was. Maybe that's because he was so depressed and uninterested in what he ate, maybe not. Either way, your cooking is so much fucking better. He actually looks forward to eating now. If he gets caught up in work or has a bad day, you make sure to always bring him something, leaving it as an offering of sorts. It almost always works and entices him to eat at least once.

You cook, he does dishes, and he will not budge on that rule. He wants to be a fair man. He occasionally boots you out to do dessert, though. Apple pie is his bitch and you've never tasted one as good as his. He also makes good pancakes and some absolutely orgasmic angel's food cake.

Ironicall, devil's food cake is one of your go to recipes. Sometimes you both make a cake and take it to events just to watch people get confused as fuck when it's revealed the literal Devil did not make the devil's food cake.

Everyime you're in the kitchen together it's a disaster, you're both to silly and chaotic. You were making noodles one time and he threw flour at you so you smacked him with the noodle you were holding, leaving a line of flour and a speck of dough against his cheek. From there it escalates. It happens every time. Making cakes together, you're smashing frosting on each other. Making cookies, you're fighting each other to stop eating cookie dough.

Once, after you get fed up with him stealing her spatula to lick the chocolate off of, hovering above you with his wings, you pout and bat your eyes, asking him sweetly to please give it back. He swoops down in front of you, booping your nose to smear chocolate on it and leaning in to kiss you, letting you have a taste of the chocolate batter you were mixing for brownies. While his tongue is in your mouth, drunk off the taste of you and chocolate you smash an egg over his head and let out a triumphant cheer, snatching back your spatula.

He's so stunned his wings disappear and he drops the last few inches to the ground while you cackle. His heart is pounding, his ears are ringing, and his chest feels like it's gonna explode. His eyes are literal sparkles. He hasn't felt this much joy, wonder, and love since Charlie was born. It feels like witnessing creation all over again, of the breathlessness he felt when he first saw Lillith.

You're laughter stops when you realize he's just staring at you awestruck and you smile, asking if he's ok.

"For once...yeah..Yes. I'm ok." He responds, genuinely. You kiss his cheek and resume baking. He watches you from the counter now, dreamily, thinking about how he's gonna marry you someday.

[witchthewriter]

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!      

a/n: I know NOTHING about the movie or it’s plot, other than I want to marry Margot and her portrayal of Barbie is bringing so much nostalgia

Warnings: nothing, because in ... Barbie world there’s no hatred, no homophobia, no gender norms etc. It’s perfect...

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ      

ENFP

Gryffindor

Chaotic Good

Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Rising

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿  

・First and foremost Barbie is a very independent woman

・She doesn’t need a partner, which makes your relationship all the more special

・She’s chosen you because she genuinely loves you, rather than doing it because ... she has to 

・And it was a big shock to many when they found out that Barbie had chosen a woman to be her partner

・But she wouldn’t hear anything against it: she loved you and that was the end of it 

・Your relationship seems pretty perfect. Because it is. 

・Life with her is perfect 

・All the annoyances of normal daily life don’t occur during life with her

・Even if you don’t live in Barblie World, she still has this magical energy that brightens everywhere she goes

・She isn’t someone who has many flaws; physically, mentally or emotionally 

・Maybe she does act before thinking though, and that can cause a bit of trouble 

・And she’s very specific with both her outfits and yours 

・Her wardrobe is endless

・A lot of pastels, as well as endless pinks 

・She always makes sure your hair and nails are done (you usually have something matching with your nails...and outfits...)

・Always gives you compliments throughout the day; “god you look radiant honey!” “you’re glowing!” “I can’t believe we’re in love!”

・Being around the other Barbie’s and always having light-hearted conversations (dark thoughts don’t bother you here)

・There are mermaids in the ocean, fairies in the trees, princesses in castles and magic around every corner 

・Her nicknames for you are “honey,” “sweetheart,” “my love,” and “bunny.” 

・Barbie’s love language is ... all of them. She loves ‘buying’ you gifts (there is no money currency), she loves spending time with you; exploring, dancing, adventuring. 

・She always wants to hold your hand or have your arm linked in hers. Her words of affirmation are almost constant. With acts of service, she likes to clean and redecorate for you (even if you don’t need her to). 

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔  

Overthinking This x Not Thinking At All

Acts Then Thinks x Thinks Before They Act

Chaotic Dumbass Duo

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Forever In Their Honeymoon Stage

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:  

Romantic Flight by John Powell

[anmaje]

I have so many Thoughts about S&co Sherlock Holmes, so have my headcanons:

- He was raised, at least partially, by his grandparents. Maybe by the french, maternal grandmother(NAVA). His oldtimey poshness is wonderful, but I can only explain it with some oldmoney, eccentric pensionist giving him a weirdly free, yet emotionally constipated upbringing.

- The houseplants of 221b and a are in pristine health because of him.

- He doesn't have any actual diagnoses. This is basically canon, but I'm putting it on here anyways. He doesn't, but Mycroft does. It's the classic instance of the more "severe case" or "more affected" sibling getting the help they need. And the symptoms of the other "less affected" sibling are overlooked. He also self medicates, which makes sense if he doesn't have access to prescription meds.

- He only wears clothes that fit. Oversized or skinny styles are the inventions of Satan himself. They're straight from sensory hell, and Sherlock agrees with me. He's very picky with fabrics too, preferring natural to synthetic. He detests wool against his skin though, so he wears tights, or long underwear beneath wool trousers in winter. He also gets a lot of clothes adjusted or made by a tailor(Who also did his grandparent's tailoring).

- He shaves his legs and armpits aswell as his face every day.

- If you ask him about his sexuality/gender identity you'll get a "that's none of your business". If John asked him, he'd get a "labels limit the vast expanse of the human experience". In truth he doesn't fucking know, it's weird and muddy, like the rest of his identity. He's read every book on the subject, watched so much porn, had a lot of one night stands, but ultimately comes up with: sex and relationships get in the way of my work, so I'll ignore that. Gender is a social construct, so I get to decide what a man is. And I'm queer, I guess.

- Dogperson

- He plays Mendelsohn for John, like in the canon. Not because John has asked him to(John doesn't know who Mendelsohn is), but because he's made a careful study to garner John's reaction to different composers. He's been doing the same with Mariana, and is slowly but surely honing in on Mozart. Both of these composers bore him, but he doesn't care when it's for his friends <3

- Despite not liking to dance (solitary cyclist part 2), he's very good! He was forced to do ballet and ballroom dancing as a kid. He's mustering up the courage to ask Mariana to dance salsa with him on their next pub escapade, but he always puts it off.

-FRECKLES. A LOT OF 'EM.

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

Pieces of media my mom has seen and the popular MLM ships in them that she doesn't think are gay:

MCU - Stucky (note that she does get a kick out of Stony stuff and she believes wholeheartedly that those two hate fucked in a not-filmed scene of Avengers 2012 so this is not about her thinking "oh Captain America is so straight-laced because he's the ideal American man" or anything)

MCU - Poolverine (she's fully aware and accepting of the fact that both Logan and Wade are canonically queer characters but she thinks all the flirting Wade did with Logan in the newest movie didn't necessarily mean anything because "he talks like that to everyone". Side note though: while she believes Wade should be with Vanessa, she does think that Logan can and should shoot his shot with Wade after Vanessa inevitably dies since he and Wade are both immortal. It's just that she thinks Wade should get his happy ending with Vanessa first.)

MCU - Lokius ("Mama have you ever seen a man fix another man's tie like that" "No but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen! I wouldn't know though; it's been like 15 years since I worked a corporate job.")

Sonyverse/Marvel - Symbrock ("They literally have a symbiotic relationship. That doesn't make them gay." So I showed her the comics where Eddie calls Venom "love" and gives birth to Venom's babies and she said "Fine you win but please never show me alien man birth ever again."

Supernatural - Destiel ("They're like Steve and Bucky! They're brothers in arms! They've been through hell and back together!" Note that she only watched through season 5 but she does know about a lot of their later interactions because I told her about them)

House M.D. - Hilson ("Dot I watched that whole show and they were never anything more than good friends" "What about when House admitted to thinking about Wilson during sex? What about that whole episode where they pretended to be gay for each other to prove a point to a neighbor and Wilson proposed? What about that whole episode where Wilson had to furnish the apartment and House told him not to let a woman tell him what to do but Wilson let House tell him what to do? What about the whole ending?" "Why can't two men just be close enough friends to joke about that stuff with each other?"

Real life - Me and my best friend of the same gender orientation who I've kissed multiple times and have had a requited crush on for years that neither of us have ever persued for logistical reasons (I literally used me and this friend to try and prove my mom wrong about Stucky and Destiel. I asked her if she thought me and this friend were like brothers and she said yes with a straight face)

Sherlock - Johnlock (to be fair this is the BBC ship name, but she doesn't think any iteration of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are the slightest bit gay. "They're business partners and roommates.")

Our Flag Means Death - BlackHands (Should go ahead and say that I'm not really a BlackHands shipper myself; we both really enjoyed Stede and Ed's romance in the show. BUT it takes so much away from Izzy's character and his development if you don't acknowledge that he was jealous of Stede and in love with Ed, at least a little. My mom thought Izzy was just an extremely loyal first mate.)

Also, for the record, I'm not trying to call my mom out as homophobic. I'm queer and so are two of my siblings and she's very supportive of us. There are gay romcoms she enjoys like Our Flag Means Death and Red, White, and Royal Blue. The reason I'm making this list is because I think it's really funny how she doesn't understand the concept of queerbaiting (not that all of the above listed ships are queerbaiting). She thinks things are either explicitly straight or explicitly queer (whether it's gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc) and cannot comprehend the idea that some character relationships are deliberately pushing the boundaries of straight friendships into queer relationships to get more minority viewers and I think her explanations are funny.

[vgilantee]

not sure if you’ve answered this already but how did the boys all meet/how did the polycule start? did it start between john and simon and then they brought the sergeants in?

and i guess just anything else you have about price and simon’s relationship 🥰

i think i may have briefly mentioned that because of their ages and ranks, price meets ghost first, then johnny and gaz, but other than that i really have no set canon or plan for how they formed their pack.

i know very little about the game’s canon so my plans will likely differ greatly timeline-wise, but my current plan is have simon meet price while john is a lieutenant and simon’s only recently realised he is now an alpha.

john will pick up on the distress in simon’s scent and comfort him, saying if he needs a friend then he’ll happily ignore ranks and be there for him however he needs. simon trusts him but this is something different. but it starts their getting closer and the beginnings of their romantic relationship.

simon’s first rut as an alpha is painful, the need to plug someone with his knot and breed them hurts. he’s gone through ruts as a beta before, sure. but as an alpha it feels more consuming. he’s in tears, fat droplets quickly absorbing into his balaclava as he knocks on price’s bedroom door. john can smell him through the door, how needy and horny he is.

“alpha, please”. it’s the first time simon has referred to john by his secondary gender, but price says nothing of it, cooing gently at simon and drawing him in to his chest. simon doesn’t even realise he’s rocking his hips against price as his face presses into his scent gland and melts into john’s chest. “hurts” the relief of john’s scent and something other than his hand against his cock helps a little, but it’s not the same

“first rut as an alpha, sweet boy?” price feels like he knows the answer based on how The ghost is grinding against him like a teenager, but he has to ask. and he’s so glad he does when simon whimpers and nods against his neck. “okay. that’s okay. i’ve got you.”

john teaches him how to prep properly, letting needy simon take the lead where he needs to, and the way simon sobs when his knot - almost a full inch rounder with his new designation - slides into price, john thinks it may be the prettiest sound he’s ever heard

all members of the 141 pack are switches when it comes to topping and bottoming. and price, after learning simon became an alpha, did a lot of research to help him as best he could. so he knows that that first alpha rut turns simon’s brain off and his only thought is to breed. price doesn’t usually bottom, but simon needs it, plus who doesn’t want a whimpering, crying alpha collapsed onto their chest, knot firmly in their hole, muttering thank you’s? john price is never one to turn that down

i have no idea about the betas though. they’re mysteries. very pretty, frustrating mysteries.

~✧

i’ve… never written mlm smut before and that wasn’t my intention when i started writing but the voices!! the voices wanted priceghost porn!!

[writing-ca-ira]

FIRST DANCE SONGS

DC various x Reader

Just some of my favs and what I think their first dances at their wedding would be like. What song they would choose, if they’d cry or not, etc.

Reader is gender neutral.

Contains: wedding dances, romantic relationship between character and reader, a shit ton of fluffy mushy thoughts, DC men are allowed to cry because yes.

Clark Kent — Easy choice; Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley. I can imagine this song being Jonathan and Martha Kent’s song when they got married. He has a 60% chance of crying; 70% if he catches a glimpse of Ma and Pa holding hands, softly singing the lyrics to each other. There’s also a game that wedding DJs will sometimes do to see which guests have been married the longest (if you aren’t familiar, they’ll call up all of the married guests to dance, and they’ll periodically say, “if you’ve been married for X amount of years, sit down.”), so I can imagine At Last by Etta James beginning to play after your first dance, and you and Clark would be smiling as you watch the last couple standing; Jonathan and Martha Kent.

Bruce Wayne — Just Breathe by Pearl Jam, and he’s 100% crying. That’s what happens when you make eye contact with a misty-eyed Alfred. He wouldn’t do any fancy spinning or dipping with you because he’s too busy holding you close (both to hide the fact that he’s crying and because he never wants to let go). Other songs that may start playing afterwards range from Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings and Super Bass by Nicki Minaj (a surprise for the both of you). Also, a picture of your first dance may or may not end up on the cover of some tabloid magazine, despite any of your efforts to keep your wedding from the public’s eye.

Hal Jordan — No one was surprised to hear Stand By Me by Ben E. King start playing for your first dance. However, what they were surprised by was how watery Hal’s eyes were. He has a 50% chance of crying during your first dance, though he’d cover it up by laughing as he let you goofily twirl him around. The last minute or so would just be you two with your arms around each other, foreheads touching, eyes filled with love and adoration for each other… and then the beginning of Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey would cause you two to collapse into each other with fond laughter. Expect to see Hal absolutely shred the air guitar.

Dick Grayson — You’d probably have to get through a few ABBA songs before your first dance (because Dick is The Dancing Queen™), but it’s worth it when All of Me by John Legend starts up. I’d love to think that the two of you have slow-danced to this song under the stars as a date, so of course you two would agree on this song. Has a 75% chance of crying (despite crying earlier during the actual ceremony) because you’re just so stunning to him while you sway in each other’s arms. He’d probably want a more upbeat song to play afterwards, like La Da Dee by Cody Simpson or Sugar by Maroon 5, and he’ll absolutely dramatically sing the lyrics to you.

Jason Todd — A lot about your wedding may differ depending on if Jason is comfortable with an actual ceremony or not, but one thing that stays consistent is Falling Like the Stars by James Arthur as your first dance song. He’d probably have a 30% chance of crying in front of other people, but if your wedding something more private, that number easily spikes up to 80%. Be prepared to be held tight against him. Heck, he might not let you go even after the song ends. If you have a traditional wedding, he’d have an arm around you as the two of you sit down and watch everyone else dance to Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen.

Tim Drake — I can see First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes being your song. Tim’s not exactly a dancer, so it may be the two of you just swaying back and forth, but he’d gladly let a spin or two happen if it makes your face light up. The odds of him crying are pretty low at 25%, meaning the most you’ll probably see is the slightest shimmer in his eyes (but Cassie, Bart, Kon, and Dick are 100% in shambles as you two dance). He’ll stare at you with complete adoration, contempt with just being with you, along with a giant smile gracing his lips for the duration of your dance. Something punk-rock/emo like Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down by Fallout Boy has to be the follow-up song. I don’t make the rules.

Wally West — Because I imagine your first date being a Disney movie marathon, Can You Feel the Love Tonight by Elton John fits perfectly. He’d probably hum the melody while bringing your foreheads together, eyes sparkling if you hum along with him. Be prepared to be twirled or dipped unexpectedly (he loves catching you by surprise). I’d say there’s a 50% chance of him crying, since he might be able to hold it together until something preppier plays like Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON (and yes, much like Dick, he’ll dramatically sing the lyrics to you). You two will do so many goofy dance moves together, I can guarantee it.

Victor Stone — “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is an underrated movie date idea, which is why I declare your first dance song to be Moon River by Audrey Hepburn. Slow dancing with Vic is so soft; he’ll gently sway with you and hold you so delicately. Not a big crier, so you’re at a 40% chance of that, but it’ll easily jump up to 60% if you rest your head against his shoulder or chest. Afterwards, I can totally see something like Without You by David Guetta playing. The energy on the dance floor would go from 0 to 100 when the chorus hits, everyone jumping on the dance floor like it’s a concert, while you and Vic spin each other around with warm laughter.

Kara Danvers — A few Taylor Swift and Kelly Clarkson songs later, you’d find yourselves dancing to Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. It’s a classic, and I can totally see you two having your first kiss at an ice cream parlor with this playing in the background. I’d say there’s a 45% chance of you seeing happy tears in Kara’s eyes. There’d be a big smile on her face as she let you spin her, your arms wrapping around each other. And of course Teenage Dream by Katy Perry plays afterwards. Clark will come up to you two with a teary congratulations, and you’ll start doing a goofy three-way dance, and that somehow evolves into a giant conga line with Clark in the lead.

Jaime Reyes — I have this feeling that Jaime gets really insecure about himself, so Corazón Sin Cara by Prince Royce is the natural choice. It’s a reminder that you’ll love him as he is, just as he’ll love you as you are. While there’s a 60% of him full-on crying, there’s a 100% chance of him getting teary-eyed at the lyric, “solo sé que yo te quiero así” (I only know that I love you like this). He’s big on hand holding — he loves to rub his thumb over the back of your hand — so he’ll have at least one of your hands in his through the entire dance. After Royce fades out, I can see either Kiss You by One Direction playing, or Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley (you both forgot about the conversation you had about how funny Rick Rolling your guests would be… effectively Rick Rolling yourselves).

Zatanna Zatara — Like I’m Gonna Loose You by Meghan Trainor has that swing sound that Zee loves to dance to. She’d get a little playful with dips and spins, but that’s only to cover up the fact that she’s at a 75% of crying; you can tell by her breathy chuckles as she rests her head against your shoulder. I think it would be really cute if she did a spell to make the air sparkle like fireflies around you two near the beginning of the song. And she’ll definitely whisper an I love you backwards to you, something I’m sure you’d be familiar with in your relationship. Also, Magic by B.o.B was suggested by you as a joke, but Zatanna was like, “that’s actually so good,” so that’s the song playing afterwards. Whoops.

[sohnric]

best years – j. haknyeon

pairing: ju haknyeon x fem! reader

genre: early 00s au, established relationship au. fluff !!! sooo fluffy it makes ME feel single. casual engagement i guess ?? tamagotchi mention for all nostalgic girlies <3

warnings: honestly not sure some swearing i'm sure. other than that the reader has hair long enough to play with

word count: 2.5k

a/n: thank you best friend @csenke for beta reading this as always it means a lot to me i love you so bad. also tagging @okkotsu-simp kyuzu bc she told me to and @winterchimez because.. hak fic...

Most things with Haknyeon aren’t planned, grandiose or romantic. Sometimes, you just take a step forward together, holding each other tight, no questions asked. Much like today-- who would've thought that a Tamagotchi toy evolving would lead you to take the biggest step of your life?

this fic is a part of the @deoboyznet 'the love letter collective' event o:) oh and also a spin-off to my 90s au universe! (go read millennium bug and to. my first for 10 years of good luck!)

September 2007

A sweet strawberry is placed in between your lips as you lay on the blanket, the sun shining into your eyes making you squint and shield your vision from the scorching beams. You blindly bite into the juicy fruit, enjoying the freshness of it in your mouth, knowing that this might be the last time you can taste the red miracle this year, since fall is quickly approaching despite the warm days of early September.

Your ears are filled with the noises of the birds chirping in the distance, the occasional buzz of a bug flying by your face, and apart from the sounds of nature, also the occasional humming of your boyfriend’s voice and the tech noises of the toy in between his fingers.

“He finally evolved into an adult!” Haknyeon gasps and places the Tamagotchi into your point of vision, shielding you from the view of the cloudy, blue sky. Eyes falling onto the little device, you snicker at the man and nod, looking up from your position in his lap to meet his gaze.

“Stop gendering our child, Hak.”

“I’m pretty sure that when we named him John, we wordlessly agreed on it being a boy,” your boyfriend’s hand drops, the sharp sun once again piercing your gaze when there is nothing making a shadow fall over your face.

“For all we know, John can be a girl.” 

“Y/N-” the man sighs, the slightest tinge of irritation already in his voice. As if the fact that you were both fully grown adults taking care of a toy for children wasn’t strange enough, now you have to argue about the identity of your little animal.

“It’s an it,” you conclude. “I think we can agree on that, can’t we?”

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue with you further. The view of him crossing his arms at his chest and averting his gaze from you has you burst out into laughter– he was clearly upset about something, and you’re fairly certain that this was not the matter.

“What?” you pry, letting out an airy laugh slip from between your lips.

“You didn’t even acknowledge that it evolved,” he peeps, sighing. “But if you don’t care, it’s okay, you can just go back to what you were doing before, which was nothing–”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes at the boy, humored with his childishness. Taking his palm into your hand and holding it up in front of your face again, you gaze at the toy in between his fingers and hum in acknowledgement. “It did!” you nod. “Good job. You finally didn’t let it die–”

“Now, that only happened twice–”

“Three times,” you correct him, watching with amusement as your boyfriend sighs again and chews on the inside of his lip, the sight of him from below more entertaining to you than watching the clouds. You know that by the logic of the Solar system, there’s only one sun allowed in this universe– but looking at the sky shielded by your boyfriend’s head, his tan skin glazed in the warm orange hues of the late afternoon, you think he’s the personification of the greatest star itself– for you that is, at least.

“Okay, well, three times. But I’ve got a hold of it now,” he says, nodding to himself. “So that means we can get a real kid now,” he says, face stoic and serious, as if he really meant what just came out of his mouth.

Laughing to yourself, you shake your head in disbelief. “I’m sorry, get what now?” you grin. “I wasn’t aware that I was a part of this deal.”

“You agreed to it, though,” Haknyeon nods, flicking your forehead. “You must have not paid attention again, but we definitely shook hands on it.”

“Wait,” you say, sarcastically humming and brushing your chin, a playful act of being lost deep in thought, “no. I still don’t remember any of that. So as long as you don’t have a written proof with my signature and the date on the bottom, I don’t think we can proceed with this arrangement, Mr Ju. We can, however, settle on getting a dog–”

“So you don’t want children with me?” he asks, looking down at you with big eyes. Thinking that it’s all a part of a joke, you try to play along– going as far as even shaking your head in disapproval.

“Hell no,” you drag out, furrowing your brows in deep unsettlement. “To have a clone of you running around our flat in a few years? That sounds like my worst nightmare,” you hum, snickering to yourself. “Besides, we forgot to buy toilet paper last week. What makes you believe we can take care of another human? Hell, that damn thing died 3 times before it grew into an adult, Hak…” you sigh, the tone of a know-it-all you like to use on him so much whenever you joke around not quite hitting the boy in the right way this time.

“Ah,” he hums, fingers suddenly playing with the strands of your hair sprawled out like the beams of the sun in his lap, his face now shielded with a cloud. Haknyeon chews on the inside of his cheek for a second before a bashful voice reaches your ears, making you look up to meet his eye. “I think it wouldn’t hurt to at least try…”

Noticing the playful sparkle in his eye completely gone, your heart stammers, skipping a beat. Stomach dropping, you jump to rescue. “Wait… you thought I was being serious?” 

Haknyeon shrugs, pouting for a second before a rosy tint flashes over his cheeks. “You sounded convincing…” he says, laughing. “Besides, it’s completely up to you if you wanna have kids or not, I was just a little taken aback–”

“Stop being silly,” you say, shaking your head. “I should stop being sarcastic all the time, it’s doing a lot of damage recently.”

“Like when MB!Y/N thought you were being serious when you told her it was embarrassing to cry on her wedding day?” Haknyeon laughs, remembering the memory from only a few weeks ago.

“Exactly!” you agree. “I still feel bad for that, by the way. Now I know why nobody liked me in high school–”

“That’s not true,” Haknyeon denies. “You keep forgetting the fact that I had the hugest crush on you, Y/N.”

“Well, you were always very subtle about it.”

“I was shy.”

“I think you were just trying to be cool,” you say, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, taunting the boy.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” he laughs, moving his hand up to your head and cradling it, going as far as gently scratching your scalp. “Back to the topic at hand, though. Do you… Have you ever thought of us having kids together?”

Looking up at the man you’ve been dating for the last 4 years, watching as his face morphs into pure wonder, your heart sores when you stare at his features for long enough– even after all this time. You bet you see a hint of sunlight reflecting in his orbs whenever he pays you a look, and the apples of his cheeks catch a light strawberry color whenever you compliment him still, even after so many years. It’s kind of adorable, really– you two have always been an open book, honest with each other– but neither of you were really big on romantic gestures or big confessions.

You two do everything casually. You don’t tend to make a big deal out of things. Somehow, your relationship naturally progresses through all the crucial stages without paying it a second thought. Sure, you two have been on dates– the title wasn’t established for a long time when you first started going out, though. For you and Haknyeon, you were just two people hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. 

The title of your relationship gained an official name as naturally as the seasons change– after many afternoons spent together doing various things, Haknyeon just asked you if you wanted to be his girlfriend. You agreed, no questions asked. It felt casual– it fit like a puzzle to the dynamic of your energies. You didn’t need big words or gestures. In the mundane reality of your lives, you two always had each other– without taking each other for granted, you both somehow always knew you were a given to each other. Both of you always knew you had the other person to fall back on– your security, your other half. There was no need for big words in a connection like yours. It just felt right. 

And yes, you do talk about everything. Most things, at least. But somehow, the topic of having children together hasn’t really come up seriously until now– only in passing, mentioning it as a matter of course for most relationships. You don’t blame Haknyeon for getting so serious at this moment.

“Yeah,” you say, voice soft and gentle. “Come on, Hak. I imagine spending the rest of my life with you, what makes you think having children isn’t in the equation?” you say, choosing to be serious with him for once. 

“I dunno,” he shrugs. “I mean, you were kinda right about the toilet paper thing, though–”

“I know, I know…” you sigh, “but I bet the oxytocin will get the job done.”

“Look at you using big biology words so suddenly,” Haknyeon jokes, making you roll your eyes and flick his chin.

“Be serious for once!” you laugh out, making the boy grin at your little outburst.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Haknyeon says, the pad of his thumb suddenly glazing over your cheekbone. The touch is tender, managing to cross the words always somehow left unsaid, yet always somehow understood– your brains and hearts on the same wavelength, buzzing at the same frequency– before your boyfriend casually drags out: “That’s good to hear, babe, ‘cause we’d make the prettiest babies. Would be a shame to let the good genes go to waste.”

“Tell me that,” you confidentially whisper. “They’d be mega smart too. They’d get that after me, obviously–”

“Hey!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” you laugh, shielding yourself from the hands of your boyfriend already reaching to give you a playful flick to your forehead again. “I do think we should wait a while before having children, though.”

“Not that I don’t agree with you, but why?” 

Hands blindly reaching for another strawberry to chew on, you watch your boyfriend easily pluck the fruit out of the basket and hold it up against your lips, helping you with your task. Thinking over your answer, picking out your words carefully, you chew and stare at the boy as he helps himself to a strawberry himself, the two of you gazing at each other in a fond silence.

“I think we skipped a few steps. We live together already, so that’s a start, but I’d like to get married before having kids,” you shrug, licking your lips off the watery sweetness, watching your boyfriend take in the new information.

Haknyeon hums, nodding to himself. “Makes sense,” he admits. “And when do you see us doing that?” he asks, genuine interest coating his saccharine voice.

“Not really sure,” you admit, snickering. “I haven’t thought about it much until now.”

“Hm,” Haknyeon hums in thought, the two of you staring at each other, chewing on your strawberries. There isn’t much contemplating behind your boyfriend’s words before he says them, but nonetheless, it doesn’t even catch you off guard– much like not many things do in your relationship. Somehow, you’re always perfectly synced. “Now seems like a good time, doesn’t it?”

“I mean… it doesn’t seem like a bad time, that’s for sure,” you shrug.

“We’ve been dating for a long time,” Haknyeon says, as if to further strengthen his argument. “Hell, I can’t believe Eric managed to get married before me.”

“Are you only saying this because your younger friend got married last month?”

“No,” Haknyeon says, although he sounds a little unconvincing. “But it certainly was a wake up call, in a way.”

“A wake up call?” you repeat, big eyes staring into your boyfriend’s soul.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “kinda realized when I didn’t see you catch the bouquet. A part of me was secretly hoping you would.”

“Stop being cheesy, Hak. That’s not like you,” you say, although there is something sweet, thick like honey, swirling in your stomach at his unusually rich wording. The male laughs in your face, enjoying the way he has you flustered with his confession.

“Would you do it, though?” he asks, grinning.

“What? Marry you?” you ask, raising your brows at him. “As in… right now?” you clarify, watching as the male purses his lips at you, seemingly thinking about it for a heartbeat.

“I mean, not right now, because we’d have to arrange the wedding and all, but yeah. Like, as soon as we can, is what I mean,” he says, dragging a stray hair out of your forehead.

Staring at him for a second, contemplating your next words, you feel your heart squeezing with something akin to excitement, your fingertips tingling with the reality upon you. “Ju Haknyeon… is this you asking me to marry you?”

“Yeah,” Haknyeon nods, shrugging. The whole situation is absurd– no one is down on their knee, no ring is present, no big events or confessions are taking place. Yet, the moment still feels perfect– it flows naturally into the trajectory of your life, makes total sense in the grand scheme of your relationship, happens unexpectedly, but doesn’t quite shock you in the tiniest way. It’s just another afternoon for the both of you– doesn’t matter that you’re taking perhaps the biggest decision of your whole life.

You don’t contemplate for even a second.

“Okay,” you say, watching the boy’s eyes light up.

“Okay,” he repeats, nodding. “Let’s do it, then.”

“Let’s do it,” you say, watching the boy beam down at you just like the sun, something in the air changing, yet, the two of you still stay the same.

Haknyeon takes your hand into his, opening your fist before he slips the keyring off the Tamagotchi onto your ring finger like it’s a promise, pressing the toy into the palm of your hand and making you hold it tight. His hand stays on yours when he leans down, lips crashing against yours, offering you all his love in the simple action. He tastes like strawberries and the past 4 years of joy. 

Faces close to each other when you pull away, Haknyeon talks confidentially into your ear. “We can go ring shopping tomorrow.”

“You better buy me a very expensive one–” you joke, cut off by your own laughter as the male gently bites into the tip of your nose, teasing you and making you frown, pushing him away with gentle force against his chest, right where his heart is.

Most things with Haknyeon aren’t planned, grandiose or romantic. Sometimes, you just take a step forward together, holding each other tight. You love each other in a casual way– the same way you know that when you wake up, there will be sun, and when you go to sleep at night, there will always be stars– you know that as long as you're alive, you and Haknyeon will always have each other. That’s the calm way in which you two love.

[with-my-murder-flute]

Pyrrha thought

I've been thinking a lot about how much Pyrrha violates the cultural norms that define cavalier/necromancer relationships, which in Jod's empire define people much more than modern gender does, and although it does have a biological component, it's definitely not a natural and inviolable one. In addition to this, Pyrrha after Gideon Prime's death is also literally what some transgender people call themselves: a female soul in a male body.

And then I was thinking about the theories that Samael was Anastasia's son, which would make the cavalier and necromancer lineages in the Ninth House, the blood that must never mingle, literally the same damn thing.

So that thing where Pyrrha talks about her pre-Lyctorhood self as though she was a necromancer. She devised the wards with Cass and Mercy. She helped design the trial at Canaan House. She experimented on Cris and Gideon's brains, and it's relevant when discussing a non-necromancer doing necromancy through soul manipulation. The trial linked to her and Gideon's lab is about a necromancer seeing through their cavalier's eyes and giving them the ability to see necromantic theorems.

She says to Gideon Jr:

We compartmentalized from the Eightfold Word, just like you and your girl—though I’m an accident, and he took more from me than got taken from you.

So... I think the thing that Gideon took from her, the thing they achieved together, was turning him into a necromancer. It was very specifically her aptitude that he took and never gave back.

Part of my thinking is informed by Jod, by how he dismisses and belittles Pyrrha, his "pet cop", and also betrays the shit out of her on the day he creates the bone dome. (Sidenote: Has anybody been calling it that? Because that trips off the tongue but is endlessly mispronouncable. I love it. From now on, it will always be "the bone dome" for me.)

Gideon was, apparently, the second person ever resurrected. What if Jod didn't know yet how to make someone a necromancer when he resurrected them, or if it was just something that was out of his control? Because... basically, I think that he would think that Gideon is the more important person in that partnership. Gideon is more loyal, less likely to question him. Pyrrha is only useful when she's enabling Jod, and annoying when she's not.

So I think that to Jod, Pyrrha being in the more important category of this brand-new dichotomy might be a problem. A problem that could be solved if he could somehow pull the necromancy out of her, and put it into Gideon instead.

Palamedes says, "She was made to be immune to the blue light." That could just mean that a process had the side effect of making her immune, but it might also mean that her end state was designed, from the beginning, to make her into a useful tool to kill Resurrection Beasts with.

It just... feels like something that would fit, at least given my "John is a crap person" starting premise.

[bingoboingobongo]

hi there! i love your work! i have a request for a cod fic💕💕

so i actually just learned there is ONE(1) all-female spec ops team in the world, and it's norway's jegertroppen("hunter troop"), so maybe how the 141(plus alejandro, rudy and könig) would react to meeting the leader of (or being in a relationship with) jegertroppen who is a no-nonsense, absolute bamf who can, in no uncertain terms, take care of herself

again, love your work and thank you for reading my random 2 am thoughts💕💕💕

task force 141 + bamf!reader

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, König, Valeria Garza

Warnings: explicit language, reader is referred to as a woman/girl

A/N: yes i realize like half of these ppl aren't part of tf141 hush. also this is why i love u guys bc i would've never learned about this w/o u anon. also srry these are short we have a lot of characters and not a lot of time

simon "ghost" riley:

alright so when ghost first met you he's pretty impressed ngl

like he knows how hard it is to be in special ops and he can only imagine how hard it is when you're a girl

like task force 141 is all men and most, if not all, of the people he works with on a daily basis are men

so yeah he has a lot of respect for you for making it to your position

he also has a lot of respect for your entire crew and he honestly really supports the idea of an all female special ops group

off topic but in the comics we see simon go through an attempted brainwashing (really pared down explanation sorry) where roba essentially tries to make him like a misogynist/rapist which obviously simon is disgusted by so yes simon is canonically a feminist

he's also in love with your strict no-nonsense style of work because it aligns really well with his

together you're pretty much unstoppable

literally the definition of a power couple

john "soap" mactavish:

alright so soap is honestly wowed the first time he meets you (and a little lovestruck too)

what can i say women in charge do things to him

he's definitely sorta intimidated by you at first though

idk it's like imagine ghostsoap but ghost is you

like he's always trying to fool around with you which maybe you tend to shut down

but honestly he doesn't mind and sometimes he'll keep going just to get a rise out of you/hear you talk

idk man he honestly just has so much respect for you

like if he could he would stop in the middle of an active warzone just to watch you work

also if you guys are dating he takes every chance possible to brag about you to anyone who'll listen

he just thinks you deserve a lot more recognition than you get

kyle "gaz" garrick:

alright so the first time gaz meets you he's honestly a little shocked

it sucks but women are a pretty rare sight to see especially in his level/field of work so an all female special ops team is like finding a needle in a haystack

that being said he has nothing but respect for you and what you do

he knows how bigoted people in the military can be and so he's glad to see that you've found a space for yourself where you're relatively unbothered by it

also it makes him happy to see more gender representation because it reminds him of his younger siblings and it makes him happy that they can have someone to look up to

like soap he also really likes watching you work

and when he's not fighting or falling out of helicopters he likes to just spend his time with you or watching you train or do menial tasks

maybe he's just too in love with you but you can make doing the dishes seem badass

john price:

alright so like pretty much everyone else here when price first met you the only thing in his mind was respect

he's read up on you and he knows a lot about your work and honestly he just really admires you

he's a leader and so he knows how tough it can be to have that job

plus to do that while being a woman in a male dominated space

yeah that earns you major points in his book

honestly he's hesitant to make a move because he doesn't want to feel like he's disrespecting you by initiating something romantic

but like you're literally such a badass motherfucker he really can't help but catch feelings

plus you're literally stunning so that's not helping the growing crush he has either

he loves to work alongside you whenever he can because you're literally inspiring on the field

plus he knows he doesn't have to worry about you or your forces which takes a lot of stress off his shoulders

alejandro vargas:

okie so like price alejandro really really respects you

again he's also a leader and he knows how taxing that can be which is why he respects you so much for it

i mean alejandro has a history with bamf women (valeria) so it's no surprise he falls for you too

idk man seeing a woman who can take care of herself just gets alejandro going

honestly you kind of remind alejandro of valeria but like in a good way

like not a "he can't get over his ex" kind of way but like a "damn he definitely has a type and his type is hot, badass women who really don't need a man but hopefully will date him despite it" kind of way

he'll also make sure that all of his forces treat you and your troops with the respect you deserve because he's not about to let you guys deal with that on his watch

that being said whenever someone is being a hassle he knows you can handle it yourself

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

alright so when rudy first meets you it's sorta like a mix between awe and also nervousness

like on one hand he's like "omg this woman is literally like the definition of badass motherfucker"

and on the other hand he's like "omg this woman is so pretty i hope she picks me omg can she tell im nervous gahdhshs"

you make his heart flutter what can i say

he's definitely a lot more shy asking you out than he might be with someone else

but that's because he really respects you and he doesn't want to come off as rude or disrespectful if he's too assertive

that being said when you do let him know you reciprocate his feelings he is over the fucking moon

he just can't believe that someone as independent and no-nonsense as you would choose to be in a relationship with him

like soap he will always find an opportunity to brag about you

and honestly he'll compliment you like there's no tomorrow

idk man he's just crazy about you like he respects you so much and so it's mind-blowing to him that you actually picked him

könig:

okay quick disclaimer but i've never written for könig so umm yeah

anyways könig is definitely really really impressed when he first meets you

you definitely make him nervous just because you're really good looking but he'll still talk/engage with you

even though it can be pretty nerve-wracking for him because of his social anxiety he'll suck it up because ultimately the anxiety of wrongly being perceived as a misogynist/sexist who won't talk to women is worse

but he's definitely a lot shyer and less inclined to talk to you outside of work

even though he really wants to

that being said if he's given enough time he will open up eventually

and even though you're no-nonsense you're more than happy to take things slow with him to make him feel comfortable

which honestly just makes him fall in love with you more

i mean i feel like this is obvious but you're definitely the "he asked for no pickles" couple

with you being the one saying it ofc and him being the one asking for no pickles

valeria garza:

ughh valeria is sooo hyped to see you oml

um don't ask how it works out with her being el sin nombre and you technically being in the military

love finds a way okay

anyways as a woman in a male dominated space herself it is so refreshing to not only see you, but to see your whole troop

honestly valeria definitely wishes she could have been a part of it

and tbh if she wasn't el sin nombre i could definitely see her considering joining

like in a way it kind of makes her sad because she knows how different her life would be if she had a group like this in mexico

also im just know realizing the connection to artemis' huntresses (is that what it's called?)

anyways valeria is not shy about flirting with you

like you tick all of her boxes

you're hot, you're a natural leader, you're more than capable of taking care of yourself

win win win

and if you let her she will treat you like a god damn queen

and also she absolutely loves seeing you work if she could she would just perch on some treetop with a pair of binoculars and watch you while you work

i realize that sounds creepy but um it's not

[yanderes-galore]

I have a request. A scenario where romantic yandere Master Chief becomes self aware and realizes he's in an video game. Though now he desperately wants to be with the reader.

Sure! This fic has two parts so this part will be a bit of a set up to the actual yandere behavior of Chief in part 2 (Hopefully).

I tried to make it make sense yet I still struggle with Self-Aware characters, lol 😅

Bigger Picture - Part 1

Yandere! Self-Aware! Master Chief Scenario

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Self-Aware game character, This is mostly set up, Slight obsession at first sight, Dubious relationship, Slight possessive themes implied, Possible OOC Master Chief.

The Master Chief has always been the best of the best of the best. People assumed he became who he is through hard effort and training. John was just naturally great.

But humanity's greatest hero had gotten help.

Was it Cortana who helped him through it all? Perhaps Blue Team? Maybe even the Arbiter, Thel?

While they have helped his journey, that was not the only help he got.

Master Chief, John, had gotten outside help. Help beyond his comprehension. This help was not Forerunner in nature, they were human.

They were you.

The Master Chief had been guided by you through his journey. He had fought through the Covenant, The Flood, and the Prometheans all with you. You were a presence who was meant to be Chief's other half.

You were also how John had realized his life was a lot smaller than he thought.

You see, like an AI, John's life is fabricated. All of these missions, all these lives he sought to protect, it all felt real. To him, it felt very real and important.

Then when he defeated the Didact and Cortana warped him to a new plane, Chief saw something. Before he saw Cortana again, he was a screen. He saw you, a device in hand.

Originally these images confused John. Who was it that he saw? Why did he feel... comfort.

When asking Cortana or any other part of the UNSC about it, they assumed he had brain damage. His scans showed he was fine, however. No one else knew about the figure he saw.

It would take a long time before Chief understood. To him it felt like forever, it was probably nothing to you. It was then he knew the truth...

He's fake. It's all fake. His life is only able to exist because of one presence, yours.

You were the only thing that made him relevant. Not only did you guide him, you controlled him. It took Cortana saving him after the Didact for him to understand.

This information cursed his mind.

John was no more a construct than Cortana, was he? He feels like he wasn't supposed to know this. He wasn't supposed to know about you.

Now John wanted to know more. For now he'd focus on his missions, yet he was always looking for a way to see you again. He wasn't sure what exactly made him want to free himself of your control, but it was a new goal.

John began to find himself fascinated by Forerunner technology much more than before. He wonders if this way he can find a way to you. The thought of learning the truth about you is what now drove him.

While you were simply playing your favorite game, you had no idea of what was going on. You had no idea that John was sentient. You had no clue what went on when the game was off

You were completely oblivious to John's desperate scour for the truth of his existence.

In fact you would have no idea what was going on until it's too late.

John began to fall for the idea of meeting you. Romantic attraction didn't occur in his mind, in fact it wouldn't until much later. All he knew was he needed to find a way to meet you. Even if it went against the mission.

The closest John got to seeing you was small glimpses. Occasionally he'd "hallucinate" and see you again in front of a screen. He began to grow attached to your guiding presence, yearning to learn more.

He didn't know your name, why he was seeing you, and why he needed to know this all now. Was there a reason? Did YOU choose for him to know?

Was he meant to see any of this?

John's search for information began to degrade his mind. He wasn't meant to know any of this. It wasn't in his code.

But as he continued, soon he became more than an avatar for some code in a game. Soon, he became more and more real as he grew more sentient. It builds up and up... until...

He finds a way.

By what appears to be by accident, Chief stumbles through a wall.

It was unintentional, it even scares the unshakable Master Chief for a moment. He... was in an entirely new place. One that look very green and... binary.

It was like looking inside of an AI. The scenery unnerved John as he explored. Was this also something he was meant to discover?

Then he finds it.

Amidst the darkness surrounded by green lights, he sees a screen. A screen that shows the person he's been looking for. He feels... relieved.

It's you.

That controller-like device of yours sits down on on a desk. Meanwhile you're looking through a bookcase. John doesn't realize he's drifted closer, reaching his hand out.

You looked so peaceful. A human who's not surrounded by intergalactic war. It's a feeling he's not very used to.

He stretches his arm out to the screen towards you. You've been tormenting his mind for so long. Now... he can finally know the truth.

When he sees you... his mind thinks of one thing.

You're his guardian... his guide... you're his.

He presses against the screen, visor not looking away from you... and he falls through.

[patheticlittlemen]

That Day (part 2.5) [The Spot x Reader]

NSFW continuation of part 2 :3

A/N: reader is not gendered but has a vagina, also borrowed some dick mechanics from the fic Spotless :)

“You do?” John says excitedly and before you can answer, he keeps nuzzling you.

“I just wish I could actually kiss you. Of course, I’m able to keep my dick but not my lips.” John sighs, pulling away from you. 

“Wait, you still have a dick?” You say glancing from his face to his crotch, where you see no dick.

“Yeah, I just keep it…tucked away. Don’t want it just hanging out in front of everyone, y’know?” John says as if it was obvious. You stare at him for a second while trying to conjure up the courage to ask the questions now burning in your mind.

“Here, let me…” Before you can say anything, John reaches into one of his spots and digs around for a second before a portal opens where his crotch is and then closes, leaving a dick in its place. It’s white and long like the rest of him, but he definitely has some girth. You’re baffled at where it came from but are more preoccupied with the fact that his dick is hard.

“I have… a lot of questions.” You say, looking between his face and his dick.

“Ask away.” Johnathan says.

“Is it the same size as before?”

“I think it’s a bit longer now.”

“Does it work the same?” 

“As far as I can tell, yes.” 

“Where did it come from?”

Johnathan begins to explain how one of his spots leads to a sort of pocket where he can store things and that’s where he found his dick. You’re trying your hardest to focus but you’re distracted by the new presence of his cock. When you and John spoke about what being in a relationship might be like, sex never crossed your mind, you just kind of thought he didn’t have any reproductive organs now. But here it is now, right in front of you. And you’re getting turned on just by the thought that he does have a dick and that you could fuck the man you’ve dreamed of fucking for a long time.

“Can I touch it?” You blurt out, surprising yourself. John’s face spot shrinks for a second in surprise but re-enlargens and swirls around the edges with an emotion you can’t quite figure out.

“Sure.” John says with humor in his tone. 

A nervous smile spreads across your face as you reach down, running your finger along the base where it connects with his skin. It was fully connected, with no sign that it might have not been there just a moment ago. Everything was there, tip, shaft, balls, and all. You’re incredibly intrigued and run your fingers down the shaft, wanting to see if it is the same texture as his skin, but hear a soft hiss come from John. 

“Are you okay?” You ask, worriedly glancing up at him.

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Just…” John’s face spot squints as he hesitates to say the words. 

“Just…what?” You say, grinning and wanting him to admit that he’s hard. It’s not like it’s not obvious, and you think it’s cute that he’s so ashamed about it.

“Just…a bit.. turned on.” John says quickly, clearing his throat nervously. You chuckle and return your attention back to his dick, this time wrapping your hand around it and gently rubbing your thumb across the tip.

“Is this okay?” You ask, hearing John’s breathing pick up. 

“Mhm.” John says with a small whine. 

You start gently moving your hand up and down, seeing a bead of black precum form at his tip. Before you can think about it, you bring your head down to lick it off, and it makes your tongue tingle. As you swipe your tongue across his tip, John loudly whimpers which makes you more horny and you desperately want to fuck him.

You decide to take your time with him though, and slowly lick a stripe up his shaft. The whole time John is whining and gripping onto the side of the cushion. 

“You’re torturous,” John says quietly, his spot swirling more aggressively around the edges. 

You grin at him before taking his length in your mouth. The girth of it makes your jaw ache already but you push through, bobbing your head up and down. John’s hand makes its way to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently as he quietly praises you.

“Fuck, that’s so good. You’re so good. Thank you, thank you…” he whines in between heavy breaths. 

You look up at him with his cock still in your mouth, tears pricking at your eyes.

“God…” John whispers and places his hand on your cheek. After rubbing your cheek with his thumb and staring down at you, he gently pulls you up and carries you bridal-style to your bedroom.

As John sets you down on your bed, you reach up to pull him on top of you, to which he gladly obliges. You begin kissing along his jawline and the side of his neck, eliciting soft moans from him. John’s hands slide up your shirt, squeezing your waist as you kiss down to his collarbone. Reaching up to gently pull his head to the side to give yourself more skin to attack, you start sucking hickies into his neck. You wonder if they will actually appear on his skin or if they’ll look different, but there’s only one way to tell.

“This is better than I could have imagined,” John murmurs as you continue giving him hickies and gentle bites down his neck.

“We haven’t even started fucking yet.” You say, laughing a little. Taking a minute to admire the marks you’ve left (which are very apparent on his pale skin), you run your thumb down his neck. Smiling up at him, you place a hand on his waist and slowly move it down.

Unfortunately for you, your hand slips into a spot and reappears through his face spot, making you smack yourself in the face.

“Ow, fuck!” You exclaim, holding your nose.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” John frantically asks, hands rushing to cup your face.

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Just managed to slip into one of your holes…” You shake your head, laughing at the situation.

“Well, there’s one hole I’d like to slip into…” John’s face spot squints in embarrassment right after the words come out of his mouth. “I’m so sorry. That was bad, I’m not-”

You cut John off by laughing hysterically at his awful attempt at flirting. He hangs his head in humiliation and you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling off your shirt and unbuttoning your pants. John gently pushes your hands aside as you start to pull off your pants and underwear, taking over the task at an incredibly slow pace.

“Come on, no need to tease.” You whine as John sets your clothes aside.

“Oh, really? You didn’t seem to think so before.” You can hear the smirk in John’s voice as he gently spreads your legs open.

“Well, you know, that’s-” Your breath hitches in your throat as John starts gently circling your clit with his thumb. 

He moves at a very slow pace to start, making you whine and practically beg for him to speed up. When he finally does, you let out a chorus of expletives and “thank you”s. As he continues to rub your clit, his other hand reaches up to slide down your slit.

“Wow, you’re wet. All because of me?” He comments, making you flush. You open your mouth to speak but are once again stopped as you feel one of his fingers enter you.

This time, John skips the teasing and matches the speed he has on your clit, gently pumping one finger in and out before inserting another. His fingers are very long and he definitely knows how to use them, bringing you to the brink of orgasm surprisingly quickly.

“I’m close.” You moan, feeling the wave of a climax rush over you right after you finish speaking. John keeps his speed up as you ride through your orgasm, whining and breathing heavily as you finish.

After you manage to think straight again, you pull John to you and give pecks all over his cheeks and jawline. He hums softly as you gently attack him with kisses, letting you run out of energy before returning the favor with his “compromise” kiss, nuzzling your cheek. You pull back for a moment and look at John, feeling a smile grow across your face.

“Can I fuck you?” John asks, breaking the silence. 

“I thought you’d never ask.” You say, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

John lines himself up to your hole, looking up at you as he begins to gently press in. He is definitely stretching you out a bit, but the pain was strangely pleasant to you. You breathe deeply as he finally fits himself all the way into you, letting you adjust before starting to slowly thrust.

“Fuck, you’re so deep.” You whimper, holding onto the back of his neck.

“Is it okay?” John asks.

“Much better than okay.” You say, smiling. John picks up his speed, making you whimper every time his length fits inside of you.

“You’re so good. Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long.” John whines. “I’m not going to last long inside you.”

“I’m close again.” You say, reaching down to rub your clit. John gently pushes your hand out of the way and does it for you, quickly bringing you to orgasm. You’re overwhelmed with pleasure and John grabs onto your waist, thrusts becoming sloppy as he gets closer to climaxing.

As you manage to regain your composure, John pulls himself out of you and pulls you up.

“Open your mouth.” He commands, placing his dick onto your tongue as you stick it out. You close your mouth around him and start moving, but you’re tired and still reeling from your orgasm so you’re moving slowly. John places his hands on the back of your head, tangling his hands into your hair.

“Can I?” John asks, gently pushing your head to show what he wants. You nod and let out a quiet “mhm” before he starts moving you on his dick. You’re lucky you don’t have a gag reflex because John was fitting his cock fully into your mouth. John whimpers as he gets closer to climaxing, starting to thrust into your mouth more than moving you. His hands grip your hair tightly as he finishes in your mouth. You feel his cum fill your mouth, making it pleasantly tingle and you swallow, feeling it make your throat sting.

John breathes heavily as he sits down on the bed, using a spot to put his dick away. You get up and put your underwear and shirt back on, John watching you the whole time. When you feel dressed enough, you sit down next to John, placing your head on his shoulder and lacing your fingers with his. He sighs gently and places his head on top of yours, squeezing your hand.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” John says quietly. You pull away to kiss a white spot on his shoulder and place your head back.

“I love you, Johnny.”

[yellow-submazine]

John Lennon Paper Doll (part 1)

One of the larger projects @the-paper-apricot worked on for the zine was a paper doll of John. We planned to include photos of the finished doll, and a printable pattern so you could make your own! (We’ll upload the printable version soon). We chatted a lot about the artistic merit of the project, and we planned to include a short essay on the ideas we discussed.

That essay was never written, but here are the main points we wanted to include:

Cutting out and dressing paper dolls is traditionally seen as an activity for girls. As such they are treated as frivolous and lacking substance. There is an interesting interplay between this and the idea that the Beatles were discovered by, and beloved of, young girls before they were ever taken seriously by adult men (this is hyperbole, but you know what we mean)

An early title for the White Album was A Doll’s House (mentioned by Ian MacDonald in Revolution in the Head), inspired by the Ibsen play of the same name. In the play Nora tells her husband: “And you have always been so kind to me. But our home has been nothing but a playroom. I have been your doll-wife, just as at home I was papa’s doll-child; and here the children have been my dolls.” Perhaps the Beatles felt that they had been someone’s playthings.

Andy Warhol played with paper dolls, a fact which we thought added something to the discussion about gender. From an interview with Glenn O’Brien in 1977: GLENN O’BRIEN: What was your first work of art? ANDY WARHOL: I used to cut out paper dolls.

John was interested in his own relationship with gender. "I look at early pictures of meself, and I was torn between being Marlon Brando and being the sensitive poet - the Oscar Wilde part of me with the velvet, feminine side. I was always torn between the two, mainly opting for the macho side, because if you showed the other side, you were dead." John Lennon - 'The Last Rolling Stone Interview' By Jonathan Cott, Rolling Stone Magazine 1980

Tony Bramwell referred to Brian Epstein's home as "that little doll’s house" in his book, although that view wasn't necessarily shared by any of the Beatles.

We were going to make a comparison with the sleeve artwork for Sgt. Pepper, and especially with the insert sheet of cardboard cut-outs that came with it. See https://www.the-paulmccartney-project.com/1967/03/designing-the-packaging-for-sgt-peppers-lonely-hearts-club-band/  for more on the cover and cut-outs

The idea that the stand-up cut-outs of the band should help the fans take part in the project of Sgt. Pepper as an art ‘event’ seemed especially pertinent.

@the-paper-apricot began work on this doll last spring, shortly after beginning her paper doll pop project. 

In part 2 we'll share some photos of the finished doll, and part 3 will include a paper doll of John and patterns of his outfits that you can print and cut out! ✂️

[thatgoblin]

Summary: Two Weeks in and you're finding a rhythm of sorts with your new Alphas, but it's not without bumps.

Warnings: Some mild gendered harassment, but nothing too terrible.

~::~::~::~::~::~::~

It had been nearly two weeks since I’d come to live with John and Simon. In those two weeks we built a new routine around each other that had us dancing in sync as if we’d been living together for years. For them it might have been years, but throwing a new person into the mix would take time to get the rhythm going again with added steps. We were getting better each day though. 

It was the Sunday after the end of the second week when someone in a U-Haul drove up to the house. John had been able to contact my parents and was able to arrange for my things to be delivered. While my relationship with John and Simon was better than at the start of all of this, my relationship with my parents had crashed and burned. I still had not heard from them, via call or text or email or even snail mail, and the two men who moved my stuff across the state were old schoolmates of mine, the Walker brothers, Logan and David. 

Unfortunately. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” David, the blockier of the two, crowed as he saw me when I came out of the house. “When your parents said you went off and found yourself a pair of Alphas, I thought they had made it up just to save face.”

“I mean, half the town did anyways,” Logan, the other man that sported a crew cut, said with a chuckle. “At least now we know it’s mostly true.”

“Just shut up and unload the stuff,” I said with a sigh. There couldn’t be that much, I didn’t have a whole lot to begin with. John and Simon were out with the cattle, leaving me alone to scrub the house. I had gotten up early and began to deep clean despite them telling me I didn’t need to. The house was kept in good shape, but there were cobwebs and the floors needed mopping, not to mention the windows. I wasn’t usually such a neat freak, but something came over me and the need to clean the place was too strong to control. Simon said something about anxiety, but I wasn’t willing to look at the feeling too close, just cleaning to ease it.

“So rude still,” Logan said with a snort. “Thought your new Alphas would have taught you how to speak to others.”

“I know how to speak to people who respect me,” I hissed as David unlocked the back of the truck. “Just take the boxes to the living room and then you can go.”

“Oh, come on,” David cooed. “We’re just playing. It’s been a while since we last saw you, figured you’d have grown more into your sex rather than away from it.”

“Yeah,” Logan said as he grabbed a box from the back. “Last time we saw you, you were the only Omega to graduate high school and get any sort of college. But that didn’t last from what I heard.”

“Didn’t you get kicked out of the community college for assaulting a teacher?” David asked, moving past me and into the house. “Yeah I think you did. Didn’t you slug him when he offered a ‘special’ tutoring session? Pretty sure they had to call security to pull you off him.”

“Such a mean Omega,” Logan added as he passed by as well. “I’m surprised anyone wanted you. Your parents probably had to pay someone to take you.”

“You are all the way across the state, so I bet they didn’t tell your Alphas about how nasty an Omega you are,” David said, coming out to leer at me. 

“Just shut up and do your job. My parents didn’t pay you two needle dicks to jibber jabber like a couple of old bitties,” I snarled. My blood was boiling as I held back from throwing my fists at them. What the hell were my parents thinking in sending these assholes? Why couldn’t they have just sent a moving company? It wasn’t like I had furniture to move. Then again, my parents probably thought these two were cheaper and my resentment towards them grew.

“We’re not in school anymore,” David snapped, getting in my space. “You don’t get to get away with acting like an Alpha when you’re not one.”

“David, come on,” Logan said as he suddenly became nervous, glancing over his shoulder as I glared back at David, refusing to be cowed by him.  

“You know, you ought to have someone teach you how to address your superiors,” David growled, getting in my space more and more. “Omegas shouldn’t talk back to those above them.”

“And Alphas shouldn’t have to threaten anyone to get respect,” I snarled, not moving an inch. “You’re just a shitty guy who only knows how to get attention by being an asshole to everyone around you.”

“David, come on dude,” Logan said, pulling the other Alpha away and to the truck. “Let’s just get this shit unloaded.”

“Fine,” David growled as I stayed on the porch, glaring at them. I had been the only Omega at a rural school system and if I hadn’t been as tough and mean as I had been with everyone then I would have gotten hurt or worse. 

They finished moving the boxes as I saw John and Simon getting closer on horseback. I felt better knowing they were nearby with the other two still there. 

“You know, you’re lucky you got out of town,” David said he stopped in front of me. “You could have gotten sold to me instead,” he sneered.

“Fuck off,” I snapped, my fists clenched and aching to swing on him. “I didn’t get sold to anyone.” 

“That’s not what everyone in town is saying,” David said. “We heard you wouldn’t settle for anyone, that you were too wild. So your parents sold you to a couple of old Alphas to tame you. That they liked kinky things with Omega virgins.” Grabbing my wrist and pulling me close, he snickered in my ear as I struggled against him. He was all muscle from being on the football team back home to going straight into work at the mill tossing bags of feed. 

“Get off,” I growled, pushing back against him. Fuck, even with the work I’d been doing on my own farm and with my Alphas’ the asshole was strong. “You’re gross and never going to find anyone to like you, you fuckin’ has been!” 

“David!” Logan barked, trying to warn his brother, but it was too late. 

“Hey!” Simon snarled as he and John came running to the porch. This giant Grim Reaper looking man with black eye makeup and skeleton gloves must have looked terrifying as Logan stumbled back and David dropped my wrist. “Get your fuckin’ hands off her!” Simon didn’t even pause as he threw a punch, nailing David in the face. David was knocked on his ass, letting me go. While they all probably expected me to run and be comforted by my Alphas, I was trying to jump back on David. John had to catch me and pull me away as Simon dealt with them. 

“John, let me go!” I cried.

“No, you’re going to hurt someone or yourself,” he grunted, holding me tight around the middle. 

“I know you two were paid by her parents to deliver their stuff, but you can either get the fuck off of our property now or you’re going to wish you’d never taken this job,” Simon threatened, glaring at both the younger Alpha’s. David was holding a bloody nose and mouth as Logan looked on wide eyed. “Now!”

“Yes, sir!” Logan yelped as he grabbed David and all but ran to the truck. 

“Fuck off!” I yelled, flipping them the bird again as Logan backed the truck up then drove off down the long dirt road. 

“Love, calm down,” John said, finally letting me go. “You’re acting like a feral cat trying to fight everything.”

“You okay?” Simon asked, still tense and chest heaving from the adrenaline as he walked back over to us where we stood on the porch. He was frowning, even behind the mask I could tell, as he held out a hand to hover near me as he looked me over for any injuries. It was still giving me the space I needed while being concerned and showing it.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said with a huff as I was let go, smoothing down my clothes. “Just pissed cause they started shit.”

“You know them?” John asked as he moved over to look at John’s fist. 

“I went to school with them. They’re mad cause I never submitted to them or anyone, so they tried to start something when they thought no one was around,” I said, looking over to the Alphas’ as John carefully cradled Simon’s hand after taking his glove off. “Did you hurt yourself?” I asked, concerned as I got close to him as well, wanting to see the damage if there was any.

“It’ll take more than just a small swing to hurt me, Sweetheart,” Simon said with a chuckle. “So long as you’re fine.” He reached out, running a hand over my hair to smooth it down while also offering comfort, but I ducked away. I wasn’t ready for that much affection yet. The most we did was pat each other on the back and grooming or cuddling them at night when we slept, but that was it. 

“I’m good. I’m gonna go unpack my stuff in my room,” I said. “Thanks for the assist.” I didn’t want a discussion over what happened or about me ducking away. Not giving them the time to call after me, I instead walked into the house to begin moving my boxes. There were almost ten boxes, but they were all mostly full of books and art supplies. I had a desk in my room where I could set up a drawing corner, but I’d have to either see about building shelves or buying them. The down side, well one of many, of being an Omega was that I didn’t really earn any money. It had all been through my dad’s name or in my new case through John and Simon’s name. 

I’d have to ask them for the money to do it, but I wouldn’t. There would be a way to figure it out and it would just take time. So the books would just have to stay in the boxes stacked against the wall. Some of the boxes were clothes that I actually needed, like my coats and thicker pants and shirts. The rest of the boxes were just stuff that I didn’t even realize I had, like little knick knacks and trinkets I had made or collected over the years. John and Simon did help carry the boxes up the stairs, but I wanted to unpack them alone. It was my stuff and with having my own room, even if I didn’t sleep in it, I wanted to put things up my way. They let me be while they went outside, respecting my wishes. 

What I hadn’t planned on was getting choked up from the items I found that were packed in one particular box. It had to have been a mistake, an accidental box put onto the truck. The last box I looked into held things I had made for my parents in school. Small clay bowls, drawings in frames, certificates of achievement. Why did they send these? Why not keep them and hang them up like they had been when I lived there? I made these for them. I wanted them to have them, to show off and be proud of what I achieved. Why give them back?

A small paper cow, something small insignificant, was the straw on the camel’s back. While John and Simon were outside with the horses or working in the garden, I was in my room, crying over a paper cow I had made for my dad on Father’s day when I was 6. I had wanted to be a rancher just like him, to take over the ranch for him, but. . . I wasn’t what he wanted. I wasn’t what either of my parents wanted. 

I threw the cow onto the ground, stomping on it as tears fell down my face, cursing my parents. When I saw the cow had torn, I stopped in a panic. 

“No, no, no,” I whimpered, picking it up. It fit in my palm, but after the stomping it was crumbled and dirty with the head hanging on by a sliver of paper. “Fuck, why do I ruin things?”

“You don’t.” I looked up from hovering over the paper animal cradled in my hands to see John standing there with a furrowed brow. “You don’t ruin things.” Coming into the room, he looked at the paper cow before taking it gently from my hand. At my desk, he found tape to carefully wrap it up and fix it. “Here,” he said as he handed it back. 

“If I don’t ruin things, why did they leave me?” I asked softly, looking down at the cow back in my hands. Sitting on the bed, I kept my bleary vision on the paper in my hand. If I looked up at John I’d start sobbing. “They didn’t want me anymore because there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s not a thing wrong with you, Darling,” John said, sitting right next to me, pushing our shoulders together. “They just don’t know how to treat someone like you.” 

“Someone like me? Who am I like!? Some freak of nature that doesn’t know how to act like the right gender!?” I cried as I stood up, shirking away from the touch before putting the cow on the desk safely away from my angry boots. “Someone who doesn’t know how to be a good mate?! Or-or someone who doesn’t know how to be a normal person!?”

“Hey,” John said softly, standing with me. “Shhh,” he hushed me, putting a hand on my shoulder and one on my face to force me to look at him. “What I mean is that they didn’t know how to treat someone who always had to be hard on the outside. You weren’t treated right by that place or them and they didn’t realize it or want to realize it. That’s their fault, not yours.” 

“No one wants me though, not for the right reasons,” I said, breaking down into the sobs I had been trying to avoid. “They had to pay for you to take me!” 

“They didn’t pay us,” John said, stroking my hair as he pulled me close. “They didn’t pay us a cent to take you. I promise. We wanted you because of who you are, not what you are.” I clung to John, gripping his shirt tight as I buried my face into his chest with heaving sobs. He didn’t leave or try to push me away, only held me and stroked my hair while whispering reassurances to me like I was Ollie after a long ride. While I probably would have been upset that he was using his horse voice on me if I was more aware, at that moment I appreciated it. I didn’t get that from my parents, the comforting touches as I cried over mean kids from school or a skinned knee from climbing trees. 

The affection and love that I should have gotten from them was given to me by Simon and John, even if it was only small touches and soft words. I didn’t know how to deal with it as it was so foreign to me. By the time that I had calmed down enough to hiccups with red, puffy eyes, Simon had come in from the garden and it was lunch time. John had me lay down with a cool, wet cloth over my face as he and Simon went about getting food for themselves. I imagined John explained what had happened because after I calmed down and felt more at ease, I was back to deep cleaning and rearranging. Simon came back in to give me a shoulder squeeze and tell me I was doing a good job, that he was proud of me. 

I started crying again at that, earning a panicked look from Simon. He quickly apologized and left, leaving me with my need to clean still there but more weepy. Finished with the house deep cleaning, supper was ready. John had made pizza from scratch and made sure to clean up as best he could as I had finished the kitchen earlier in the day. Showered first that night, I made sure the two men gave me their dirty clothes so I could get them in with the rest of the laundry later. 

When it was time to settle down for the night, in our usual spots on the couch in front of the TV, the Alphas took their usual spots while I surprised them. Instead of going to the floor next to Simon’s feet, I curled up against John on the couch, sitting between the two. Both looked at me wide eyed as I pressed to his side, even raising his arm myself to wrap around me. They didn’t say anything though, knowing I’d most likely growl and pull away. 

Maybe John was right. I was a feral cat. 

“Can we go to town tomorrow?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the TV. “I wanna get some shelves for my books or to get stuff to make shelves.” Also something new. I didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t take anything either. Unless I needed it, I didn’t bring it up. 

“I’m sure we can arrange that, Sweetheart,” John said as he rubbed my legs, his hand having found its way there. “What time do you wanna go?”

“After morning chores,” I said, looking at the two Alphas. “I can do some extra work to pay for them, if you want me to.”

“Don’t worry about a thing,” John said with a chuckle. “You want shelves, we’ll get you all the shelves you want.” He reached out again, like earlier in the day, to stroke my hair. This time I didn’t pull away. I leaned into it even, practically purring. The rest of the night was spent like that. Curled up against one another till it was time for bed, only moving to continue holding one another under the covers. 

The next morning, I was thrumming with excitement. While John and Simon went about their normal speeds of getting up and having their coffee, I was already dressed and making breakfast. They didn’t hide the smiles on their faces as they watched me buzz around like a hummingbird. It was the first time I’d been excited for something since I’d arrived at the ranch. For shelves no less. 

When morning chores were done and everyone had washed up, I was already in the big pick up truck waiting. “Come on, boys! We’re burning daylight!” I called, giving a few honks. 

“It’s 9 AM! We’ve got plenty of time to go by the store,” John called back from the porch as Simon laughed. 

“You don’t know that! There could be a major shortage of shelves!” I said as they walked over. John shooed me to the middle as he got in the driver’s seat and Simon got in the passenger side. It would also be my first trip to town. All I knew of it was that it was small like my hometown and was probably almost the same, just in a different configuration. The drive there wasn’t short, almost half an hour, but it didn’t kill my mood. In fact, I was still bouncing in my seat as John parked in front of a small furniture store. 

“Now, just keep calm and hold one of our hands at all times,” John said as he helped me from the truck.

“Wait what?” I asked. The calm part I could get, but holding a hand? 

“They’re older folks and it’s just easier to let them die with their ways instead of fighting with them,” Simon said, his gloved fingers weaving with mine as he stepped next to me. “We’ll get your shelves, don’t worry about that.”

“Okay. . . I guess,” I said. Holding Simon’s hand, we walked into the store to begin looking around. It was full of nice things, maybe a bit dated, but nice. I didn’t want anything too heavy or too expensive, just something to hold books. 

“Howdy folks! What can I do ya for?” An older man asked, seemingly coming from nowhere. It spooked me enough I ran into Simon when the balding man spoke up. Simon chuckled softly, keeping me on my feet and from crashing into anything else.

“Hello,” John said with a wave. “We’re looking for a couple of shelves.”

“Three sets,” I said, but didn’t get too excited. I was actually trying to listen to John. 

“What the little lady said, three sets of shelves,” John said, chuckling.

“I am a little lady,” I said under my breath with a smirk, getting a snort from Simon.

“Well come on over here, we’ve got all kinds of shelves to pick from. You folks have anything in mind?” The salesman asked. “I’m Bill, by the way, pleasure to meet you all.”

“Pleasure,” John said as we followed, introducing us. “What kind of shelves are we looking for, Sweetheart?”

“We are looking for shelves to hold books and knick knacks,” I said. “Nothing fancy, just the capacity to hold things and not break.”

“Alright, it sounds like the little lady knows what she wants,” Bill said with a laugh.

“That she does,” John said, smiling softly at me. 

“Here we have some nice ones that come in a dark finish. They’re solid oak, not particle board so they’ll be good to hand down through the generations,” Bill said as he showed us the first set. Then there was another set almost exactly like that one, just in a different shade. In fact all the shelves he showed us were basically the same thing, just in a different shade. Looking at the prices I couldn’t help making the faces I did. I looked from the price tag to John and Simon with wide eyes. $500 a piece. 

“Uh, do you have anything cheaper?” I asked, looking over to Bill. He glanced at me, but kept his focus on John and Simon. 

“You gentlemen wanna look at something cheaper or stick with something that’s a sure thing?” Bill asked. Did he just ignore me?! Simon squeezed my hand to remind me to stay calm. We were in town and fighting with a sales person was not something to end well. I grasped his hand with both of mine to keep myself in control. 

“Let’s look at something cheaper. She wasn't wanting to drop $1,500 on shelves today and I don’t blame her,” John said. 

“Oh I’m sure we can find something that y’all would like,” Bill said, taking us to a different section of the store. There we found cheaper shelves to put up, but they weren’t exactly what I wanted. They were still expensive for what they were and I just couldn’t justify spending so much money on them when I wasn’t even the one paying for them.

“I don’t really see anything I like,” I said, trying to be as polite as possible as I looked over each shelf. “Maybe we can try a different place.”

“Oh, hold on now,” Bill said with a chuckle. “I’m sure that me and your mates could come to a decision for ya on price. I mean, you don’t want some simple shelving units that’ll fall apart in a few months if you decide to redecorate the house.”

“It’s not for the house, it’s for my room,” I said, locking a glare on Bill. “They’re not my mates either.”

“Let’s just go,” Simon said quietly, already smelling the distinct scent of me getting riled up. He was trying to usher us away, but Bill had to open his mouth. 

“You oughta keep your Omega in line there,” Bill said to John, shaking his head as Simon tried to pull me away by my hand. “They need to be taught to be more respectful.”

“What’d you say!?” I cried, letting go of Simon to turn on my heel to face a suddenly surprised Bill. “You wanna talk about respect, actually listen to your customers no matter who they are, ya walking Rogaine Ad looking ass!” I snarled. Simon already wrapped an arm around my middle to drag me away as John followed, both looking panicked. Whether it was over getting kicked out of the store or me unleashing my wrath or both, they wanted out of there.

“Why don’t you boys come back without them and I’m sure we could work something out without a hormonal Omega actin’ up,” Bill said. That made them pause. The men looked at each other then to me as I practically frothed at the mouth. 

“Better watch out, Bill,” Simon said, letting me go with a smirk. “She’s feral.” That was all the permission I needed before I marched right up to Bill who went white as a sheet. 

“You wanna act like I don’t exist or have feelings, fine! But you don’t get to publicly shame me because of my gender, got it Bill!” I snapped, jabbing a finger into his chest. “You’re just a snub nose asshat that’s more concerned about what’s in someone’s pants than actually getting a sale and you have the balls to get huffy at me for calling you out on it!? Maybe there’d be more people in here if you didn’t over-price your 1950’s shabby decor and act like a pias jackwagon by alienating your customers! Next time you see me, you better act like a decent person instead of some bigoted, capitalist pig that doesn’t care about anybody but himself, ya hear!?” Bill was silent as I had backed him in a literal corner of one of his sectionals with my ‘Omega hormones’.

“Yes, of course,” he said, nodding and shaking. 

“Good, now we’ll take the dark stained oak shelves for $200 a piece. That’s more than what they’re worth,” I said, crossing my arms in front of me as Simon and John moved to stand behind me. 

“Of course, right away,” Bill nodded. I stepped to the side to let him pass, not paying mind to anyone else in the store who was watching. Not that there were many to begin with. I marched with my men behind me to the register where John handed over the money with a smirk on his face. In a matter of 20 minutes we were loaded up and headed home. While neither John nor Simon said a word, I felt pleased with myself. 

At home, we unloaded the shelves and hauled them to my room. Once they were set up, I let them help me unpack the last of my boxes. Books and sketch pads all fit perfectly how I wanted them to and even had some help with Simon setting things on the tippy top as well. 

Finished, we stepped back to admire our work. I couldn’t stop grinning as I stood there next to the Alphas, all of us hot and sweaty from the moving of the large shelves, but satisfied. I did that. I didn’t compromise who I was or what I could do and I got what I wanted. The boys probably got what they wanted too, which I knew was not the shelves. My arms wound around their waists to pull them close for hugs; allowing me to scent them slightly to claim them as my own. They were my pack and I was theirs. 

John was the first to scent me back, rubbing his cheek against my head followed by Simon. I didn’t pull away either. It was the first time in a long time that I felt lighter. That instead of heaving my own baggage along with others’ doubts, stereotypes, and sexism alone, I had help. I had my pack. An honest to god pack of my own that no one could take from me. 

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headcanons about harry anderson no one cares about but like 5 people and i

i need to stress he is in my brain daily and i need to get some thoughts out please talk to me about harry anderson egbert guys please /silly

⭐🧵headcanons under the cut 🧵⭐

🧵 it's stated in "the insiders" that he has stage fright, but we are not given an explanation as to where it came from.

i like to imagine it's because he grew up with so many successful people in his family circle. not just because they are gods - but because they have talents that they are incredibly successful at. he's not as funny as his father, he's not as smart as his mother, he's not as savvy as rose, etc etc- and yet, he was brought into the spotlight from an early age nonetheless, having mentioned being in magazines and such. but he never talked, or said a word. meaning, he hasn't shown the world his potential at all yet... and he's terrified of doing so and disappointing them. his family, his friends, even strangers. it's a lot of pressure. and the more he lets it fester, the worse it gets.

🧵 he's in the theatre club but he's never properly acted/sang in front of anyone or participated in a play.

he's only been responsible for costumes. he really wants to participate - he rehearses for months on end before auditions - only to chicken out last minute.

🧵 he loves making other people shine more than shining himself.

we know he makes clothes. clothes are an art of self expression - and he loves dressing other people up so they can show their true potential. plus...it distracts him from his own failures.

🧵 he makes clothes for people that really need it, does a lot of charity work. the homeless, orphans, other school's plays, small local movies, etc.

he just loves to help out. he is genuinely a friendly person that cares and likes to keep himself busy.

🧵 ...and he also does make up!

this falls into the same category as the clothes thing, i think. he has a vanity table in his room. it's not hard to imagine him helping out with that too whenever he can.

🧵 he has officially been excused from holding presentations at school, much to his peer's dismay.

roxy knows his glossophobia (stage fright) is pretty damn bad, so she asked the school not to have him participate in things like that. people in turn think that he gets special treatment because of his god mom. overall he's not disliked though. i just think most people don't really know him, and tend to think of him as somewhat of a snob, if a friendly one. however his grades are only painfully average, partly because of this.

🧵 his relationship with his mom isn't perfect

now don't get me wrong, roxy is great, and they love each other very much. but i do think she has trouble talking about problems, and difficult things in general, and tends to keep things on the lighthearted side, which makes it hard to communicate issues with her. harry anderson would rather pretend he's got everything under control than bother his mom with 'frivilous problems'. ...one of such being kind of uncomfortable with aunt jane when he gets older. plus, he really doesn't want to disappoint her. he feels like he already is.

🧵a master of imitation

he can imitate any voice he wants to with perfect precision, including his mom's. makes calls to the house from school a lot easier. though she's pretty sneaky and finds out about this eventually lol

🧵 probably kins rarity from my little pony /lhj

🧵 he has the last name 'egbert', despite lalonde sounding better, to keep john's father's name alive.

🧵 unlabeled

he is very well versed in lgbt topics, as roxy made sure to teach him, but he doesn't really care to think about himself that way

🧵 born intersex but they really stuck with the name harry anderson so they just assigned him male at birth

told him he's free to choose when he's older of course and roxy refused to do any surgery on him. he just kept going with it though. for one he doesn't truly care about gender but also it's the name his dad wanted him to have, and he misses him a lot.

🧵 he gets along well with kanaya

clothes making go brrr :)

🧵 john does visit for some holidays, which he's happy about. but the day after that, he finds himself extremely sad he's gone again. he never calls back.

i love john but he absolutely is stuck in his own little "theyre fake anyway" narrative. also he's depressed as shit L bozo. this leaves harry anderson with the irrational fear that if only he had been better, he would've stayed "this time".

🧵 played a ton of retro games, and watched a lot of retro movies as a kid, because of roxy and john's influence

he tries talking about it with others but they have no idea what the fuck he's talking about ever

🧵 sometimes roxy is too lazy to do her make up so she lets harry anderson do it in the mornings

just thought that was a cute little domestic thing they do

🧵when john finally comes out as june, he helps her pass better

seeing as harry is so good at voice imitation he can help her voice train, and of course would be more than happy to make clothes that flatter her figure. finally someone will indulge him in dress up :)

anyway that's it for now byeeee

[karasbroken]

Another little moment from Can't Get Fooled Again. I was trying to find something a little more light-hearted, and settled on John being total crushed when Not-Aeryn sits on Not-Dargo's lap instead of his.

First of all it almost seems wrong to admire Not-Aeryn's thigh but how can it be helped? (Is she wearing gray velvet?!)

Second you can just watch the life drain out of his eyes as John sinks down and leans in. It's not overdone, he's not visibly seething with jealousy, but it hurts. Oh it hurts.

Wow, I had way too long on the shuttle today, cut tagging the rest of this because I love your dash....

I do a lot of thinking about where exactly John and Aeryn are emotionally and as a couple at various points in time. It seems clear in canon as it can be without seeing them in bed, that at some point between mid-Mind the Baby and Look At The Princess they started frelling. Aeryn wouldn't have been so cuddly and kissy in the LATP1 cockpit scene without some preface.

Their conflict, textually, is Aeryn being uncomfortable with their arrangement becoming a regular thing. She doesn't want John to think she's there to service him whenever he's horny. She wants to keep pretending to herself that they just occasionally clear the pipes with each other, just crew mates helping each other out.

(Huh, when I put it that way, given how "masculine" they portray Aeryn, their whole interaction feels sort of weirdly queer-coded: 'no homo' as long as no one catches feelings or admits they like it. Is there fic out there with a gender swapped Aeryn? Could be interesting.)

Anyway... they're fighting because Aeryn doesn't want them to even have a situationship let alone a full relationship with feelings, which is what John is trying to move them toward.

Why am I talking about LATP? Well a couple reasons. While up to this point in Won't Get Fooled Again, John has had some distressing things happen--being held down by orderlies, scolded by his best friend, made to go to therapy--most of the stress has been from him reacting to the likelihood that he was captured and having his mind screwed with again.

The actual illusions, other than being absurd, have been fairly benign. Then right after he says he's going to foil his captors by not reacting, "Aeryn" shows up and does something that causes a reaction. That actually wounds John. He's not truly insecure about being thought of as a failure by DK, or not good enough as an engineer and astronaut. But not good enough for Aeryn? Yeah, that's in there.

And that points to where they are in their relationship right now. Which is not having one, and I suspect very much not talking about it. LATP was spent breaking them apart as a couple very forcefully. Separated by their own desires and fears, by physical distance, heck by physical states of being, by legality and ritual, by children, by necessity, by multiple other people being or wanting to be with them, and of course by Scorpius.

Their moment at the end of LATP3 didn't heal those fractures. Knowing them, in some ways it made them worse. Something that probably would have been the final barrier keeping them apart--inability to have children together--is not a factor. Suddenly a relationship that feels impossible to have for all those reasons, becomes possible again because they are highly compatible. But the obstacles are still there.

Won't Get Fooled Again is only one episode away from LATP3. The intervening episode we see Aeryn get emotional about a frelling service animal. Aeryn. This woman is not okay. This is not an Aeryn that is having conversations about their future with John. She's over-wound and doesn't know what she wants. But I can almost guarantee you they're not frelling right now.

And John... Do you think he's not having feelings himself? He just left a child behind (the daddy issues popping off in this episode were not a coincidence). He just married and then immediately not only left his wife, he slept with another woman too, not even Aeryn! I think John is feeling a lot of things about his own suitability as a father and mate. That he's questioning his morals.

Is Aeryn really what he wants? He has had all these thoughts about other women, maybe that's who he really is, a Captain Kirk. Maybe that's what makes sense when you're lost in space, trying to get home, no matter how you might feel about that hot alien who you trust with your life but not your heart.

In this tiny moment Not-Aeryn doesn't want him, and he doesn't fight it because maybe she shouldn't. Maybe nothing is ever going to happen and he needs to just get over it. So he gets crushed but he doesn't make a big deal about it because none of this is real, and even if it were, there's nothing he can do to force Aeryn to be who he wishes she was. Maybe he wouldn't want her even if she were.

Actual Aeryn never shows up in this episode, and she doesn't come to save him. And I think that's interesting, but something to explore another day.