#i have been wanting this poster for YEARS and i finally got it for christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fiendishartist2]

you fucking WISH you were me

[enchantedbarnes]

Uncle Buck • Part 7

Goodnightmorning

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Single Aunt!Reader

Word Count: 9.3k

Masterlist: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven

A/N: Surprise! I hope you enjoy 🤗 I love hearing from all of you, so don't be shy - please spam me with your thoughts. I love gifs and seeing your reactions. 🥰 If you have any ideas for future parts let me know! xo

"I GOT IT!" You call out while rushing downstairs to answer the door, grabbing your wallet from your purse by the door for the pizza delivery.

Opening the door while still fiddling with getting the money from your wallet, you look up and freeze.

"Fuuucking hell," you clutch your wallet at your chest.

"Heyyy, Aunt Y/n," Sam greets while leaning against the doorway holding a stack of pizzas.

"Cute outfit," Bucky smirks while looking you over. He has two pillows tucked under his arm and a backpack hanging from one shoulder.

It's movie night and you're currently wearing a fluffy hooded cookie monster robe (when you pull the hood up it has his goofy looking googly eyes on top), a blue ribbed tank top, black and blue plaid flannel pajama bottoms, fuzzy slipper socks, and your hair tossed up in two messy buns on top of your head.

"Did you guys decide to get a pizza delivery side hustle going?"

"Walked up at the same time as the delivery kid," Sam answers, nodding his head behind them.

"And what exactly are you doing here, besides stealing our pizzas?" You tilt your head to the side, a questioning glare looking over the both of them.

Bucky holds up a greeting card in his right hand. More specifically Benji's Christmas card. He flips the card open and holds it up to you. You reach out and take the card from him looking it over.

The front of the card says "MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS" with an edited Home Alone poster showing Benji in the middle with Bucky and Sam in the background. This you already knew, but what you didn't realize was the little shit apparently customized the inside of their cards without you knowing.

The inside of the card reads:

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You've been cordially invited to:

New Year's Eve Movie Marathon Night

📍 Location: Attic movie space

⏱️ Time: 3pm set up, 4pm movie selection process

Comfy Attire / Pajamas

Bring your own: overnight essentials - pillows and blankets encouraged but probably not necessary

Snacks and Pizza will be provided

[*Mom knows of this, Aunt Y/n does not...please direct any further inquiries to Mom 718-555-0110*]

"I saw you yesterday, you didn't want to bring this up to me??" You glare over at Bucky, holding the card up.

"Oh you did, did you?" Sam looks back and forth between the two of you.

"Must have slipped my mind," Bucky shrugs.

"I'm sure you were both very busy at this mystery meetup," Sam smirks.

"Yes, it was very eventful," you keep a straight face, "My legs are still sore."

"Oh??" His eyebrow raises as his head whips over to you.

"Mmhm, and there was also a lot more oils involved than I expected."

"Go on..."

"Lots of flowers. Candles. Honey. Fruits... Anything I'm missing?" You look over at Bucky.

"The leather. Can't forget that."

"Of course, how could I forget that. Very sturdy leather, indeed."

"Wow, I just knew you two were a couple of freaks." You can see the wheels turning in Sam's head as he processes this information and tries to decide which question to go with next.

"And then there was that sweet old lady that joined us," you're starting to struggle to keep a straight face, but manage to keep it together.

"Mildred was very energetic for 86 years old," Bucky nods. You finally break and start laughing.

"She probably could have gone another 3 or 4 rounds."

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa," Sam interrupts, holding his hands up in an X motion. "You lost me. Explain yourselves," he looks back and forth between you, an eyebrow raised.

"We went to the farmer's and craft market, obviously. What were you thinking we were talking about?" You sass.

"Yeah, Samuel. What were you thinking of?" Bucky asks, a smirk appearing on his face now.

Sam scoffs. Nora makes her way downstairs and spots their new guests still standing in the doorway.

"Hey, guys! Welcome! Why are you still in the doorway? Come on in," Nora waves them inside. She greets Sam with a squeeze on his arm as she walks by, "Thanks for grabbing the pizzas! Bring 'em on up with you. Everyone's in the attic - you're just in time. Hey, Bucky!" She grins while greeting him with a quick wave.

Nora quickly disappears into the kitchen. Sam sets the pizza boxes down on the entry table temporarily and wraps you in a bear hug, giving you a lift before he sets you back down to snag the pizzas again while making his way upstairs.

Bucky steps inside and hesitates as he closes the door behind him, "Is this ok with you that we're here? I would have told you but I wasn't sure what repercussions would happen if I was the one to spill the beans. Plus seeing the look on your face when you opened the door..."

You grab one of the pillows from him and playfully whack him with it.

"How dare you," you laugh, "And of course it's ok. You're welcome here any time. The fact you keep willingly coming back to this circus amazes me every time."

Bucky just shakes his head and holds his pinky up to you. Those piercing blue eyes staring right at you with his stupidly handsome face.

You smile as you hook your own pinky around his, reminding you of his promise back in the attic during your last movie night together. "Promise you'll tell us if the crazy gets to be too much?"

Somehow we still haven't scared him away. He's gorgeous but you're worried he might be a beautiful idiot.

"Happy almost New Year," you smile as you place your hand on the side of his face, the stubble tickling your palm. He smiles down at you in return, "Happy New Year's Eve." He starts to lean in but you're lost in thought for a moment.

"Wait," You blink and Bucky halts his movement, "Did you guys tip the pizza delivery?"

"It was a young kid, he got a picture with Sam and ran off in his excitement after."

"Damn, that's genius." Note to self, remember that for the next time we order delivery.

You kiss his cheek and hand him the pillow back. "Well, I'm pleasantly surprised and glad you're here. Your continued movie education awaits. You first," you gesture up the stairs, "I'm just gonna go help Nora real quick." Bucky stares at you for a moment, an eyebrow raised as he tilts his head.

He goes to question you but you interrupt as you start to back away, "I'll be right up!"

He gives you a face that looks like you just kicked his dog and you suddenly realize in your frazzled state you gave him the brush off. You step closer again and place your hands back on his face.

"Hi, sorry. Starting over," you crank up the excitement, "I'm so happy you're here. Happy almost New Year!" You move his face between your hands back and forth for emphasis.

"Happy New Year's Eve," he repeats his part in amusement.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer into a sweet kiss. Bucky slowly rests his forehead against yours after, his piercing gaze searching yours with a light smile.

"Sorry for the awkward scatter brain. Was just caught off guard."

"S'fine. Don't do it again though," he jokes with you.

"An eight year old wasn't trying to set me up with a stranger for no reason. He's aware I'm a basket case."

"If you think you're a basket case, I don't know what that could possibly mean for me then."

"Well, the remaining roles available are brain, athlete, criminal, and princess. If you don't understand that reference we'll add it to the growing movie list. But I'm voting princess," you quip and kiss his nose quickly before you step away, "See you upstairs, your majesty."

He glares down at you sceptically, but decides not to bother questioning you. He's sure he'll find out at some point. He shakes his head while adjusting his backpack strap on his shoulder and making his way over to the stairs.

You escape into the kitchen in a flash but wait a moment, listening to Bucky's footsteps make it up the stairs before you say anything.

"Nora, how could you?" You try to keep your voice low while you whisper yell at her.

She clearly knew about this and said nothing this whole time.

"I made sure you looked cute today! Come on!"

"Traitor."

"Why are you even in here? I don't need your help. Go make out with your handsome future husband."

"I'm moving somewhere tropical and far away from all of you," you mutter as you grab a tote bag off the counter.

"Send postcards! Save a guest suite for us," she blows a kiss at you. "Oh, that also sounds sunny! Make sure Bucky gets your back for you when you need to reapply sunscreen."

You send a middle finger (with love of course) her way as you exit the kitchen.

Bucky lets out a low whistle when he reaches the attic space, "Wow."

"How does it get cooler every time we come up here? What is this?" Sam waves his arms towards the fully decorated ceiling.

Benji's previous surprise movie set up had been recreated but on a much larger scale.

The couch was set up much the same with it's pillows lined up, sheet canopies hanging over it, and string lights surrounding the area. However Prudence had helped Benji cover the rest of the space to look like the room was basically a giant blanket fort, with sheets draped and hanging from the ceiling from various strings and pins.

The king size and queen size foam mattress toppers that belong both on your bed and Nora's now took up residence on the floor for some padding along with every cushion that could be found and removed in the house, making one large cozy area. Sam tosses his backpack down, flopping onto his stomach on the padded floor next to it, "I'm moving in."

Benji jumps on top of him, "Heck yeah!"

"Hi fellas!" Prudence greets from her spot on an oversized beanbag chair, her boyfriend Monty next to her.

You make your way up the attic stairs with Nora, the large tote full of snacks and candies in your hands.

You hold the tote open to Bucky with a grin when you reach the top of the stairs.

"Are you sharing?" He asks while peering into the bag.

"I suppose," you tease, "Go ahead and pick your poison."

The lights dim as Bucky goes to reach into the bag and "Get Ready For This" by 2 Unlimited starts playing. The recognizable beat pumping through the Bluetooth speakers.

"Ohh, here we go," you sigh but laugh.

The starting line "Y'all ready for this?" announces Theo's presence as he starts pumping his phone in the air while the lights in the room start flashing with the help from Nora flicking the switch off and on rapidly to the music.

Benji groans. "Every time," he grumbles while crawling off of Sam and standing back up.

"Party peopleeeee!" Theo shouts as he reaches the top of the stairs.

Nora turns the lights back on, "Everyone go ahead and pick out your movie choice for tonight. Try not to share your choice yet."

Sam and Benji move to huddle by a large shelf of DVDs.

Sam silently holds up a copy of Sleepless in Seattle to Benji with an eyebrow raised.

Benji's eyes widen as he continues their silent exchange with a violent head shake side to side.

Sam slowly puts the DVD back on the shelf and gestures to locking a key over his mouth and throwing it over his shoulder.

"I knew that line about soulmates, puzzle pieces and cosmic forces sounded familiar," he points an accusing finger at the small agent of mischief.

Benji smirks and flashes his choice so only Sam can see. They both break into a giggle fit and high five.

Meanwhile across the room, you stand next to Bucky, "Do you have any favorites you'd like to pick out? If we don't have the physical copy we can try finding it online and just hold up a photo on my phone."

"Haven't been big on movies these days. I caught part of a movie recently playing on one of the TV's at the bar? Never saw the end, definitely didn't start watching at the beginning either. Just glimpses here and there."

"Do you know what it was? We could find that one if you are interested."

"Never saw the title," he shrugs.

"Oooh, a challenge," you rub your hands together and turn to face him better, "Let's see... Was it real life or animated?" You lean in, face turning serious in concentration.

He laughs lightly under his breath at your switch in demeanor, "Not animated. It was in space? It had people and robots in it."

"Oh hell yeah, okay. Let's see... Was it like a moon landing situation? Or maybe trapped on a planet?"

"Uh.. buncha people with terrible aim. Like, astonishingly bad aim. They were in a garbage compactor that was closing in..?"

"BUCKY, please shut your beautiful mouth right now. Star Wars????"

"That's the movie people always bring up?"

You grab his arm and yank him over to the many movie collections. You pull 'A New Hope' out and hand it to him.

"Yeah, that's the one. The girl with the hair," he holds the cover up to your face to compare side by side. "Yours are cuter," a sweet but devilish smile appears on his face as he references your hair that's up in two buns.

You swat the case away from your face, "Is this what you'd like to pick? You might get some heat for choosing this... Just a fair warning."

He shrugs while tucking the case under his arm.

"Beautiful mouth, huh?" He smiles slyly over at you.

You fix a playful glare at him, "Now is not the time, Barnes. This is serious business."

"Okay!" Nora announces, "For our esteemed guests, welcome. We're glad to have you join us. Everyone please put your choices behind your backs and line up when you're ready."

You all finish grabbing your choices and gather in a line, standing side by side. You pull on Bucky's arm and direct him to stand next to you. Benji grins up at him and tosses his arms around Bucky's waist, giving him an excited hug. Bucky freezes at first and then relaxes, ruffling Benji's hair. Benji lets go and gives his attention back to what's going on in the room.

"Here's the deal," Theo begins, "We each get a turn. When it's your turn you step to the front and present your choice. When you hold the movie up, we like to say a line from the movie for an added razzle dazzle, you don't have to though. The next person goes up and does the same with their movie. We then vote on which one stays and which one goes. The winner stays and the next entry goes up against them. We repeat until the last movie is standing. Got it?"

You all nod and confirm your understanding of the rules.

"Since we're watching more than one movie tonight, how are we deciding follow up winners?" Prudence asks.

"Well I mean, if you insist, I will choo-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Nora cuts Theo off.

"Guests could choose," Prudence suggests.

"What about the youngest? Hellooo?" Benji cuts in, waving his hand.

"We could go by highest rating on IMDb?" Monty adds.

Arguments break out. You roll your eyes and go back to picking out chocolate from your tote. You grab a snickers and inspect the wrapping and then silently offer a piece to Bucky, tapping his arm with the wrapper to grab his attention. He smiles and accepts your offering while you rip into a KitKat and take a bite. "This could be a minute."

Sam nods over to you and holds his hands up in a stance ready to catch. You reach into the tote again and toss over a random candy for him. He catches the orange Reese's and gives you a thumbs up.

"Alright!" Nora interrupts the bickering, "Raffle style? We pull from a hat."

A chorus of fiiiiine's agree and you're all finally ready to continue.

Theo steps up to present his choice first. "Pockets ain't empty, cuz." He proudly slides a copy of 2 Fast 2 Furious out from behind his back.

Nora rolls her eyes. "Another one?! Again? Why the second one?"

Theo puts his hand over his heart, "How could you? You're my wife, my FAMILY."

"Don't you dare say it-"

"You're gonna turn your back on family?"

Nora's palm covers her face.

"This is the fourth time in a row he's chosen a fast and furious movie," you whisper to Sam and Bucky, taking another bite of your candy.

"I heard that," Theo points at you, "and that is a lie. This is my seco-... No wait, it's the third time."

"And you don't choose them in any order. You just pick random ones! Last time we watched one of the more recent ones, now you wanna go back to not the first but the second movie? Make it make sense," Nora argues. They both stick their tongues out at each other.

Prudence skips up next to Theo, "Well this should be an easy choice then." She holds up her choice over her head: Hot Rod. "You look pretty. What did you say? Uh, I said you look shitty. Goodnight, Denise!" She quotes while mimicking the two different voices.

You laugh while pointing towards Prudence, "Cool beans!" You quote back.

The majority votes for Prudence and Theo dejectedly goes to stand to the side, Monty stepping up in his place.

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting," he kneels while holding up A Knight's Tale over his head, "Come back when you're worthy."

"Dang. Sorry Prue," you join the votes and point over to Monty.

"It's a worthy choice, I understand." She moves to the side and Nora steps in her place.

"D-i-g, what's that spell?" She swings the DVD case for Holes like a shovel, "DIG!"

Theo groans, "I'm tired of this, Grandpa!"

"Well that's too damn bad!" Nora shouts back.

Bucky looks over at you with visible confusion written on his face.

"They're still quoting the movie," you answer for him.

He nods but still seems baffled by this movie selection process. You link your arm around his and pat it in a gesture to show your silent support among the chaos.

Votes stick with A Knight's Tale. It was close though.

"If you forget to come back for Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity," Nora does her best Eartha Kitt impression as she moves aside.

Finally it's your turn. You let go of Bucky's arm and make your way over next to Monty.

"I do a great impression of a hot dog!" You scrunch your shoulders up and neck down, holding up Mrs. Doubtfire.

"HelloooOOooo!" Prudence cheers while voting for you.

"My first day as a woman and I'm already getting hot flashes!" Nora points to you as well.

"It was a run-by fruiting," Benji giggles.

"I'm melting like a snow cone in Phoenix," Sam joins in, Benji giving him a high five.

Bucky's eyebrows scrunch together. Benji tugs on his hand and pulls him down to whisper in his ear.

Standing back up, Bucky clears his throat and answers, "Help is on the way, dear?"

"Yeah!" You all cheer.

Bucky blushes a bit at the attention. Benji grabs his arm, giving it an excited shake.

"Alright, alright." Monty surrenders and steps aside.

Sam starts singing in a deep voice as he walks up next to you, "Bow bow, Oooh yeahhhhh," he raises his movie up, "Chick, chicka-chickaaaa!"

His voice goes monotone as he continues, "Bueller..... Bueller......"

It's a strong choice but votes stick with Mrs. Doubtfire instead of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Bucky shyly makes his way up next to you. You give him an encouraging nod and smile. His face is scrunched up and unsure, "I'm not really prepared with a quote or anything..."

"Wait! Hang on," you pull out your phone, quickly typing away. "One second... Almost got it... Fucking ads - five more seconds please..." You watch the countdown waiting for 'Skip Ads' to finally appear. "Ok! On the count of 3," you nod over at Bucky. You hold up three fingers, two, one, and then point over at him as you press play.

The intro to Star Wars dramatically blares as Bucky presents his choice.

"Boooo, hiss!" Prudence yells out towards you.

"You coached him!" Theo argues.

"Party foul, bending the rules to your advantage!" Monty joins in.

"I didn't coach shit! This was his choice! So be nice!"

"Then you two really are perfect together," Nora rolls her eyes.

"The rule was I can't choose this movie ever again. Our GUEST chose it!"

Bucky's eyes are wide as he stands frozen, trying to figure out what is happening.

"Uh, we can skip my choice?"

"Of course not, Bucky. So sorry for freaking you out. Y/n has made us watch this a million times. Open the case, we started a tally mark system for them," Nora motions towards the case.

He opens the case and sees the cluster of line tallies filling the inside cover.

"I tried to warn you," you shrug at him.

"At least it's not Lord of the Rings again," Theo sighs.

"You leave my precious out of this," you point at Theo accusingly, "I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."

Theo rolls his eyes at you.

"I'm just gonna.. step aside... No votes necessary, really," Bucky assures.

"You're all a bunch of jerks. Bucky, I will gladly watch the entire series with you. You're not getting out of it that easy."

"Wait, have you not seen them before?" Nora asks.

"I've only seen parts of that one," Bucky shrugs and moves back to his original spot.

"Well, that's a different story I guess," Monty shrugs, "but still not enough to sit through it again. Sorry."

"Nerf herders," you mutter under your breath.

Benji dances up to the empty spot. "With it being New Years, I have decided to go with a more New Year resolvation related choice."

"Resolution," Theo corrects.

"Yeah, that." Benji reveals his DVD, holding it up with a wide grin. Uncle Buck.

Prudence lets out a snort that instantly makes her start giggling even harder. "Remember when you showed me his first ultrasound and I told you ' this baby is destined for greatness'?" She asks Nora next to her, "Absolutely knocked it out of the park."

"Well, that was fun. I'm so honored to have the winning choice," you interrupt while shoving Benji's face as you push by him.

"Hey! We didn't vote yet!" Benji protests.

"Are you really sure you want us all to watch this? Mr. 'Where do you live, own or rent?' Hm?" You whisper the last part to him, hinting at you knowing all about his previous kitchen interrogation after prying the info out from Bucky yourself during your first date.

Benji's eyes widen as he gasps. "I, uh, I... Y'know what... I was just being silly. You know meee, just gotta get that title joke in there. I.. take back my choice and pass," he plasters on a nervous grin as he hides the movie behind his back, "Maybe next time!"

Bucky raises an eyebrow but you refuse to look over at him.

"Can I see that?" He asks Benji with a smirk.

Theo and Nora claimed the couch.

On the floor area in front of it Monty and Prudence assembled their own little nest where they gathered some of the extra cushions and blankets around them.

You were next to Prudence, a wall of cushions between the two of you and a stack of pillows from your bed behind you. Bucky is next to you with his pillow he brought with him, the other pillow he carried in earlier was Sam's. Sam is on the other side of Bucky, an empty space left between them for Benji who called 'dibs' on the spot before disappearing downstairs.

While Theo sets up your winning movie for Mrs. Doubtfire, you get up to grab some plates and pass out pizza slices with Prudence who passes out the drinks.

You place one more plate of pizza in Benji's open space and sit back down in your spot with your own.

As you're pulling your blanket over your lap, loud thumps and clatters from Benji running back upstairs start to echo and he emerges carrying a bag full of items over his shoulder like a small Santa Claus. He plops everything down immediately.

"Here you go, Sam." Benji grins while tossing a thick rolled up fleece blanket over to him.

"Ayyy! Thanks so much, big guy." Sam unrolls the blanket and tosses it up slightly to spread it over his legs, revealing a large captain america shield on it. "It's perfect," he laughs.

"Do I get a blanket?" Bucky asks, looking over at the blanket and back over to Benji in betrayal.

"I'm all out. Sorry. You'll have to share one," Benji smirks and scurries away.

"I wonder who he thinks you'll share with," you ask in an airy tone while pretending to brush dirt off and pick lint from the comforter over your lap, tucking it closer under your legs with one hand while taking a bite of your pizza with the other.

Bucky gives you a side eye, but you keep a straight face while focusing on your pizza. A piece of mozzarella stretches as you pull it away and place it back on your plate.

Sam makes a show out of smoothing his blanket out as well, pulling it up over his shoulders and giving them a shimmy. "So cozy. Wow. It's like I'm being hugged by a fluffy cloud."

Bucky shakes his head at both your antics.

"You can share with us, BB." Monty lifts a corner of their blanket up with a wink.

Suddenly the large blanket over Prudence and Monty disappears towards their feet. Benji has their blanket tangled at his feet as he walks away. "Whoops," he shrugs while shuffling his feet and the blanket around some more like a plate of spaghetti. You almost break, but manage to keep a straight face still. Benji then grabs two chunky black plastic objects from his earlier pile and you know exactly what they are. One definitely came from your room, the other from his own. He rushes over to the corner of the room and plugs one in, setting the object down on the floor at a slight angle. He then rushes to the other corner of the room and does the same with the second one. He excitedly runs over to the light switch, shutting off the overhead lights, leaving only the movie projector and the string lights lighting the room.

"Sure, I didn't need to see anything," Theo grumps, remote in hand still clicking around on the screen.

"It's a projector, you can see better in the dark," Nora shakes her head at him.

Benji excitedly plops down in his spot and leans over to Bucky. "Are you ready for this??"

"Da na na, da d-da da, na na-" Theo starts singing the same 2 Unlimited song from earlier.

"Dad, stoppppp!" Benji swats behind him at Theo. "Anyways! Watch this!" He holds up two small remotes and presses the power buttons on them.

Two more projectors come to life, but these cast laser dots to look like stars with multi-color aurora light effects dancing around the room.

"Are you kidding me?? I'm forwarding my mail. How much for my share of rent?" Sam asks Theo behind him.

"We'll crunch some numbers and get back to you," Theo answers.

"I could stare at this for hours," Bucky watches in awe as the colors slowly shift and dance around.

"I bought Benji one for his birthday and then immediately bought one for myself. Ceilings are so boring and depressing without them now."

"Can we turn the spinning off? It makes me slightly nauseous," Prudence requests.

"On it," Benji presses a button and the laser stars stay stationary in their positions, they continue to blink in and out softly and the Aurora effect is still shimmering and shifting colors.

"Perfect, thank you!"

Benji starts making himself comfortable in his spot between Bucky and Sam. He has wrapped himself in his favorite fleece blanket that looks like a giant tortilla and has managed to lounge his way across both Sam and Bucky, shoving a large slice of pizza in his mouth.

The 20th Century Fox logo pops up on the screen as the opening music for Mrs. Doubtfire starts playing.

A sense of calm washes over Bucky as he relaxes. Next to Wakanda he thinks he has found a new favorite spot. A feeling catches him off guard. A feeling he hasn't had a lot of experience with in a long time... Home. He has had a similar taste of it when he visits the Wilson's, but he still felt more like an outsider looking in. This though. This felt different. He looks over at you.

You were still sitting up, a bag of chips now resting in your lap while you toss candies back and forth with Prudence. A smile is stretched across your face as the two best friends giggle at each other. Monty retrieved their blanket.

Benji has his head resting back against Bucky's chest and left shoulder, while one leg stretches across Sam's shins. Bucky's vibranium arm rests across Benji's small shoulders, his forearm bent up allowing his hand to rest on top of Benji's head.

You smile and shake your head when you look over and see Benji has made himself comfortable. In his own little chosen people bubble. Wrapped as a cozy pizza-eating burrito.

You give in and lift the edge of your blanket and comforter, tossing it over what you can reach of Bucky.

He looks down in surprise for a moment and then smiles over at you. With his Benji-free right arm, he adjusts the blanket over his legs. You scooch over closer, purely to make it easier to share of course. He nudges you with his shoulder in thanks. You tap him with your knee as your silent reply.

During the movie Benji grabs a bag of peelable red licorice strips that he starts chowing down on. Every few peels he'll hold a couple strings up and offer them to Bucky or Sam.

-

Mrs. Doubtfire wraps up and you all get up to stretch and take bathroom breaks while setting up for the next movie.

You start clearing up some discarded pizza plates.

"Anybody want some cake?" Nora asks.

"Yes!" Benji cheers.

Nora goes to open a cake box, revealing a decorated vanilla & chocolate marble cake made to resemble a clock.

"Theodore, why is the 5 o'clock slice missing?" She points the serving knife over at her husband.

"Uh.. because seven ate five?"

Prudence lets out a snort of laughter. Nora just sighs while shaking her head, slicing into the cake to serve the rest.

"Alright, Benji," you hand him a plastic cup, "I scribbled down the movies on paper scraps and put them in the cup. Go ahead and pick out the next movie."

"How do we know you didn't put Star Wars in there for every entry?" Monty points an accusing finger at you.

Benji reaches in and pulls out A Knight's Tale. You hold a middle finger up while Monty cheers, "Only joking, sweet Y/n. I knew you'd never do that." He cuts his eyes over to Prudence quickly, mouthing "What are the odds?"

"You owe me five," she mouths back while holding up her hand.

Monty gives her a quick high-five, earning an eye roll from Prudence. "That was my fault for not being more specific that I meant dollars, you cheeky bastard."

Monty grins and leans over, stealing a kiss from her.

-

Mid-movie Benji let's out a slight snore-snort as he startles himself awake, sitting up straight. "Wha- is it midnight yet?" He rubs at his eyes.

"It's not even 8pm yet, you lightweight," you toss a smaller pillow at him and it bounces off his head.

"Heyyy. So rude." He yawns while laying back down but instead of leaning back on Bucky again, he burrows into his own stack of pillows.

Bucky takes advantage of his newly freed arm and range of motion, reaching over to steal some of your snacks. You playfully glare over at him in mock offense as he gives you a smirk in return.

Benji pops his head back up suddenly, a new wave of energy hitting him at his sudden thought. His head whips around to look over at his parents on the couch behind him, his eyes staring owlishly wide at them.

Theo whispers over to Nora, "We made that terrifying little being."

"Straight up brought that chaos into this world," she whispers back. "How can we help you, sweet definitely-not-possessed baby boy of ours?"

"Can we play my new board game?"

"That sounds more like a group vote decision, my love."

Benji sits up on his knees sitting back enough to have all eyes on him. The overkill gut-punch pout and large puss in boots eyes appear, "Can we all play my new board game, pleeeease?" He clasps his hands together under his chin making sure to tilt his head and pitifully look at each adult while he begs.

"Man, that is stone cold. How do you say no to that?" Sam asks.

You and Nora sigh at the same time, "You don't."

"Which board game is it, Ben Ben?" Prudence asks.

"I'll go get it!" He leaps up and runs to a closet in the corner

"Are you sure you can stay awake long enough to play a game?" You tease.

"I was not sleeping! I was resting my eyes like Pop-pop! It wasn't my fault, Bucky's arm must have some sort of sleeping magic."

"Sleeping magic?" Bucky and Nora ask at the same time.

"Can't say I've unlocked that feature before," Bucky answers while flexing and twisting his arm back and forth as the plates shift with the motion.

"Please tell whoever made it I will donate my entire body to get some of this sleeping magic. Even if it's just a pinky," Nora pleads back.

"I'll pass that along," Bucky laughs.

Benji runs back in with his new board game proudly held over his head. A box that says... Benjopoly?

"Benji, what is this?" You ask taking the box from his hands to get a closer look.

"It's a custom monopoly board!" He jumps up and down in excitement.

"Hey, our house is on a spot!" You point at a spot on the box, "How cool! Why is this the first time I'm seeing this?"

"He wanted to surprise everyone with it today," Nora shrugged, "I haven't even seen some of the choices he went with yet."

"So can we play, pleeeease??" He begs.

You open the lid and hold the box back out to Benji. He's practically vibrating with excitement as he pulls the board out.

As Benji lays the board out you get a closer look at the property choices around the board. You also catch a glimpse at the little trinkets for player pieces.

"Sweet Jesus...." You sigh and shut your eyes while you press your fingers against them.

"What?" Bucky questions, "You okay?"

You clear your throat, "Fine, I'm fine..." You grab Benji by the back of his shirt and tug him over into your lap. He lands with a thump and gazes up at you with a look of complete innocence, but you know it is anything but. Placing your forehead against his, you playfully glare into his tiny mischievous eyes, "Wanna delight me with an answer on why you chose these places?"

Your house, the library, museum of natural history, a few fancy hotels, the gazebo at a local park, Brooklyn botanic garden, the aquarium, even Disneyland and the Smithsonian were on here. These were all innocent enough until you started noticing things like your childhood family church, city hall, the large barn on your uncle's property where Nora and Theo were married and you finally start to piece together... These were all a variety of wedding venue options. The player pieces? You noticed a diamond ring, top hat, flower bouquet, and a limo amongst them.

He beams up at you in return and rubs his nose against yours. He then pulls you into a tight hug, squeezing the life out of you. "Just some favorite places!"

"Oh hey, it's Uncle Dave's barrnnnn-ooooh..." Nora's sudden epiphany hits next. She looks over at you, her eyes wide but trying to keep a neutral face. She mouths, "I didn't know," over to you and winces.

"Oooh? Oooooh what?" Theo asks her.

"Uh..I was just thinking how long this is gonna take to play... Bubs, I know you're excited about this, but what do you think about something less time consuming? Like maybe Uno?"

Benji pouts and huffs while getting up and going to grab the deck of cards instead.

Nora makes quick work of packing up the board game and discarding the box discreetly under the couch.

At 10:45pm Prudence jumps up and starts lining up plastic champagne flutes, filling them with a sparkling cider. Benji also gets up and grabs a shopping bag from the corner of the room, pulling out a stack of cone shaped party hats, glittery gold paper crowns, and some foil horns to blow into. He passes out one of each to everyone, asking each person, "hat or crown?" while holding each option up.

You try to figure out the best way to make this work with your hair up. You grab two crowns. Bucky takes one from you and helps you adjust the sizes to put a crown around each bun on top of your head. He shakes his head once they're on and pulls his phone out, snapping a photo of you posing with your hands under your chin. Benji and Theo can be spotted in the background giggling as they were also trying to figure out how to give Theo a mohawk look with the party hats, elastic strings meant to go under your chin covering his face at weird angles to accommodate multiple hats going along the back of his head, which only makes them giggle harder. Nora shakes her head at their antics but has a smile on her face as she watches the two in amusement, a crown already on her head as well.

You grab Bucky's phone and go to take a picture of the both of you. He places his arm over your shoulder and smiles for the photo. After you take a couple to make sure you get a cute one you tell Sam to move closer and join in for a photo.

"I don't want a photo of Sam," Bucky argues with a huff. You lightly elbow him and Sam ignores Bucky, plastering a goofy grin on his face for a photo with both of you, while yelling "Misterwives!" as his way of saying 'cheese!'

Prudence checks her phone, "My co-worker lives up the street. She said they're all at the park having a new years party. Looks like there's a projector show of their own set up against the nearby buildings to watch the ball drop with music. Anybody interested in checking it out? We have enough time to get over there."

You trade your cookie monster bathrobe for a long wool coat and slip on your boots on the way out.

Bucky is giving an overtired, sugar-buzzed Benji a piggyback ride. Benj yaps away in his ear as you all walk along the sidewalk

"We have a 'bring your favorite person to school' day coming up soon. Can you come?" He asks Bucky while playing with the cone party hat on Bucky's head.

"EXCUSE me?!" Theo, Nora, and you stop short and yell at the same time.

"I can't pick just one of you. Two of you will get all butthurt. So I'm choosing outside the box.. or roof..? And then you all can be equally butthurt together."

"Unbelievable. The audacity," Nora scoffs and keeps walking while holding Theo's hand.

"Judas," Theo grumbles.

"Good thing we kept the receipts on those Christmas presents."

Benji ignores them and continues, "We eat lunch and they have some games set up around. We would totally crush it." He holds his fist up.

"Am I expected to make some sort of presentation?"

"Nope!"

"I'll think about it, but I think you have better options, pal."

"Nope!" He repeats and squeezes his grip around him.

"I thought I was offended before, now I'm extra offended. The absolute nerve," Theo scoffs.

"I'll text you the info," Benji fake whispers.

You get separated from Bucky at the park. He went to get you a water but he hasn't returned yet. You make a quick sweep through and finally find him, his body language clearly showing discomfort as he looks around. A woman is standing in front of him trying to pull him into conversation. You walk over and see his shoulders sag slightly with relief.

"There you are, we were about to start a search party!" You joke as you walk up to him and link your arm around his. "Hello," you greet the woman standing in front of him.

"Oh, hi!"

"This is the future Mrs," Bucky tilts his head towards you.

Her eyes dart down to your gloved hands.

"Yup, that's me," you play along, "Nice to meet you. Are you the owner of the salon on 8th? I think I've seen you there before? I've had an appointment with Mac before."

"Oh yes! We miss her. She moved back west after the baby was born."

"I heard. I'm happy for her, but she will definitely be missed."

"You'll like Alex, he has the same aura. Very welcoming and highly recommended by clients. His bridal updos are to die for."

"I'll keep that in mind. Happy New Year," you wave to her as you steer both you and Bucky away.

"We lose you for a few minutes and you're nearly on your way to another future wife, you stud."

"Haa-haa," he gives a flat response back, pulling you closer to him. "Can we go find the others before she decides to appear again?"

"What, you weren't enjoying your conversation with crazy eyes? She's loaded, you could have been her sugar baby."

-

The midnight countdown echoes as everyone chants down from ten.

At 'three', Bucky gently tugs you closer while his hand cups your jaw. His vibranium fingers brush gently against your chin, tilting your head towards him. You can feel your heart pounding faster in anticipation. The growing noise of the excited crowd starts to fade as he pulls you into a soft, tender kiss. Your lips fitting perfectly together.

The midnight cheers erupt and echo around you as you fight your own internal fireworks erupting for your new year's kiss. Time feels like it slows to a crawl.

"Happy New Year," you whisper with a grin when you finally pull away. You can't help but let out a laugh.

"Why are you laughing? What's so funny?" He squints down at you.

"Sorry, I don't wanna ruin the moment... This is just so cheesy," you bite your lip while holding back another laugh at the stunned look on his face.

"Cheesy? Cheesy?? You think this is cheesy, huh??" He squeezes your waist, while he playfully taunts you. With each question his face inches closer to you.

You break into laughter as his fingers tickle into your sides.

"I'll show you cheesy," his grip tightens as he dips you backwards, pulling you in for a breathtaking kiss.

Bucky lifts you back up and you both take a moment to breathe before he interrupts and pulls you back in for a more passionate kiss.

Benji makes his presence known by blowing a foil horn at both of you. The loud sound startles you away from the kiss. "Ew, was his tongue in your mouth? Or was that your tongue? Either way, tongue was involved here." He holds an accusing finger up at the two of you as his face twists in disgust.

Theo places a hand over Benji's forehead and directs him away. "Stop making things weird. Keep moving."

"I'm making it weird?? But that can't be sanitary!"

You hide your face against Bucky's shirt, both of you shaking with laughter. Tears fill your vision from a combo of the cold weather and your laughter. Your face burning up from both the exertion of laughing and the embarrassment of being called out by your nephew.

You finally look up and go to wipe your eyes but Bucky beats you to it. His finger slides along your cheek first and then gently swipes his thumb under your eyes. He takes extra care to wipe some of your smudged eyeshadow at the corners and he smiles warmly at you in the process.

"Are you gonna finally let me call you mine, or will Benji need a 12 step plan drafted up to help convince you?"

"I dunno, I might have to update my cootie shots and consult with the counsel. It's a whole to-do."

He growls and goes to squeeze your sides again, playfully nipping at your chin and cheek, "C'mere."

You giggle as you try to back away but he only squeezes you closer, "I'm still waiting for an answer," he locks his arms around you, holding you in place.

"How could I say no to this face?" You try to go squeeze his face but he has your arms pinned to your sides.

"That's not a proper answer," he squeezes tighter. "Are," he leans closer, "you," and closer, "my girl," his nose brushes against your cheek, "or not?"

"Yes."

You let out a surprised squeal as his bends slightly, moving his grip around your hips and upper thighs, lifting you off the ground and giving you an excited spin.

You gather the group back up and start to head back to the house. This time Theo gives a dozing Benji a piggyback ride.

You squeeze Bucky's hand and smile over at him. He squeezes back and pulls you closer as you both continue walking behind the group. You still can't believe how this all started. You're still expecting to blink and this all was one big hallucination.

Nora unlocks the front door as you return to the house and you all make your way back upstairs after discarding your coats and shoes.

Theo and Nora grab their pillows from the couch and decide to go sleep in their room. Theo's snoring would keep everyone awake. Although you're surprised Nora doesn't want to stay. She claims without Theo's snoring it's too quiet for her to fall asleep.

They offer Sam the couch, "If you stay down there, Benji sleeps like a starfish and moves around as if he's fighting crime in his sleep," they warn him on their way back downstairs.

"I do not," Benji grunts as he sits up while rubbing at his eyes. He reaches a tired hand up and pulls at a dangling string. A series of sheets pinned to the ceiling fall and section you all into your own little separate fort areas.

The couch area is almost completely covered, and both sides surround you and Bucky into a somewhat tent-like section together.

You hear snickering and look over to see Benji and Sam making shadow finger puppets at each other through the sheets.

Bucky moves to kneel while he grabs his pillow, and starts to shift as if he's going to stand up.

"Um, where are you going?" You ask.

"Home?" He answers, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"What do you mean home? It's late, just stay here?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why? Do you turn into a green ogre like Fiona?"

"I hate that I understand that reference now."

"You loved that movie and you know it. Stay and we can watch Shrek 2."

"They made another one?" He looks baffled at this fact.

"Oh, my sweet Fiona," he rolls his eyes at you, "there's a whole franchise. At least 4... or 5? Maybe 6. I'm honestly not sure at this point, but we're going to find out."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes," you grin and grab the remote. You reach for his hand and tug him back down.

Everyone has settled into their spots. Monty and Prudence have already fallen asleep by the time you find the movie.

"Hey, Shrek 2!" Sam cheers quietly.

Bucky places a hand over his face. You try not to laugh as you grab his pillow from him and place it back in it's spot behind him. He moves his hand down to look over at you and shakes his head. You continue to grin over at him as you press play.

-

"You're still awake?" You whisper. The movie ended at least 15 minutes ago. Everyone else peacefully snoozing around you. Well, it's 50/50 on how peaceful Benji actually is, judging on the awkward position he's contorted and passed out in. Oh to be a kid and not worry about your neck and back again. You're already positive you're gonna be regretting this floor slumber later today, even with the foam padding attempt under you.

It's not that Bucky doesn't want to sleep, he just...can't. Too many people in the room. Too self conscious of having a nightmare and potentially disturbing the rest of the sleeping occupants. The last thing he wanted to be was a burden or a nuisance. His mind is also telling him to stay vigilant as he watches the staircase entrance.

He shrugs as his short answer, not wanting to voice his thoughts out loud.

"Sleep magic run out on you?" You joke, trying to lighten the mood when you see the dark look in his eyes, the wheels turning in thought behind them. You can tell he's fighting his answer, a look of uncertainty on his face, but a lazy smile appears. He shakes his head at you.

Laying on your side, you scoot closer and grab his right arm, hugging it against you. "Can I borrow your sleep magic then?"

Bucky smiles over at you as you drift off. He tugs your pillow closer and tucks it against his arm some more so your head and neck are more comfortable. He places a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger for a moment. He slowly tilts his head back up towards the ceiling. However, he continues to stay awake. Silently watching the stars and swirling patterns dance across the room. Soaking in the comfort and the feeling of being surrounded by people that care for him. In their own dream worlds.

Benji starts to stir with a slight grumble. Bucky lazily turns his head and watches the shadow of a small lump shift slightly closer to him behind the sheet.

"Un Buc, m'gumdrops. Gone," he mumbles together in his sleep. "How dare...th's m'ne. Hmmph." He shifts again, an arm and leg flailing as he turns over and starts to settle back into a deep sleep. Bucky shakes his head in amusement and goes back to watching the ceiling.

-

Hours later, Bucky is still awake when everyone starts slowly shifting and waking up. He hears Prudence and Monty shift around as they quietly make their way downstairs.

You start to stir and stretch next to him soon after. He watches as you rub your eyes and then bury your face into both your pillow and his arm. He waits a moment to see if you're awake. You finally peak up at him, giving him a slurred greeting.

"Mornin', " he greets back with a tired smile. You clock the dark circles under his eyes.

"Please don't tell me you've been awake this whole time."

"Course not. I feel fresh as a daisy."

"Liar."

You sit up, grab your pillows and drag him downstairs.

"Where are we going?" He asks at the bottom of the stairs. You ignore his question and approach the door to your room. "Can't drag me to your bed fast enough, huh?"

"Oh baby, you're about to get hours," you pause and look over at him, leaning up closer, "and hours," you lower your voice and kiss his knuckles quickly, "of great sleep. Let's go." You pull on his arm again and direct him over to the bed. You give him a push towards it and take a step towards the side table. He sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you open the side table drawer, pulling out a small spray bottle. Uncapping it, you give two quick spritzes over the pillow areas and one more in the general area over the bed behind him before putting the cap back on and tossing it back in the drawer.

"What the hell was that?" He blinks at you.

"Lavender spray," you shrug and walk over to your dresser. "It's supposed to be calming and relaxing to assist you with falling asleep." Opening a bottom drawer of the dresser you pull out a water bottle and set it on the side table.

Bucky watches in amusement, observing the other bright colored packages of what looks to be a snack stash in the same drawer before you close it.

"Are you one of those doomsday preppers? Or is it a hoarding thing? What else do you have stashed around here?"

"Look, I'm just trying to survive in this household. Benji and his little friends eat everything. I'm terrified when puberty hits. Also, I don't feel like going all the way downstairs when I'm thirsty," you shrug. "Now will you lay down?"

You pull the blankets back, "Chop chop. Don't make me dump that whole bottle of lavender on you."

He rolls his eyes and lays back against the pillows.

"Is this ok? Are you comfortable? Do you need space and want me to leave?"

He scoots back and grabs your arm, tugging you onto the bed next to him. You sit on the edge of the bed and he pulls your arm again, and then places a gentle hand on your leg making you lay down next to him. You lay on your side facing him.

"That didn't answer my questions. Do you need music? white noise? a bedtime story? I can go grab the comforter," You continue to ramble on.

"Just a good night kiss," he pouts his lips towards you.

You lean over and place a soft kiss to his waiting lips.

He smiles and wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you to him. "Goodnightmorning," he whispers.

You let out a soft laugh in return and place another kiss to his cheek which gets another smile from him.

You start to lightly run your fingertips up and down his forearm and then repeat again lightly with your nails, back to your fingertips.

He hums in appreciation.

"Goodnightmorning. Sweet dreams," you whisper back as he drifts off.

Dividers by @saradika

[bluepallilworld]

Hehe 4th edition of...

DARK CREAM (AND POST DARK CREAM ) SHIPCHILDREN COLLAB! <3

After the summer vacation, the kids are invited to join the dark cream shipkids school! For their first day and class, all ages are mixed in one singular classroom... Will everybody stay quiet while waiting for the teachers or will chaos arise???

What's that?

3 years ago, I hosted a big collab for christmas, 2 years ago it was for the new year then last year we had an halloween celebration and now the fun continues!

This year, I'm hosting a big collab with a theme of "going back to school" to make some kind of a "family picture" with some of the dark cream ship children ! Nor Cross or S!Dream will be in the final picture as there aren't exactly the same depending on the child.

How to participate?

1- You need to have a dark cream/dark xunshine ship child (Cross x Shattered Dream kid). I'm making an exception for post dark cream kids ;). As long as Dream has been Shattered at one point, the kid can participate.

2- Draw your kid wearing a proper school outfit! (They will be indoors so you may choose to have them sitting on a chair, on a table or standing up, you can give them a school bag and anything you can think of! You can draw accessories aside if you want me to put it on their table or something (pens, notebook...) but no obligation here ^^)

3- Send me the drawing or tag me on it so I can get it! The drawing must have a transparent background so I can easily edit it. If you put a watermark, please put it on the inside of your drawing so that I don't have to erase/move it to make place for the other children.

You need to send me the drawing before the 10th of august so I have time to edit it properly before the big day and in case there are some problems. (It can however be discussed if needed, exceptions will be accepted or refused case by case)

I'll post it the 1st of september (probably early in the day) !

If you have any questions, please ask!

If someone without a kid wanna participate (or just want to participate more for funsies), you're welcome in the background+ team ^^

(being in the background+ team means drawing some elements of the background like all the lil' things you can find in a class, desks, posters, books... or some other stuff. It's usually me and music fairy @diofasolia (if you've got some free time to participate of course, solia) on that team)

PS: You can't use a kid belonging to someone else for that event ! You must be the creator of the kid and send me a drawing you did at least mostly by yourself (it doesn't mean you can't have help or collaborate with someone however) ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

PPS: Be creative or more classic with the outfits! Have fun! Do as you wish!

If it helps, the kinda perspective I'm going with (same as every year ;3). I'll adjust the size of the room depending on the number of kids. The kids are not obligated to be staring at us, from the side, showing their back... Also the pov will be from the white board ✨

Pose ideas for those who aren't inspired: awkwardly standing in a corner, reading a book criss-cross applesauce, tripping and falling on nothing (or something), chatting with someone, writing stuff on the wall, perfect student sitting pose, already asleep, climbing, fascinated by something (might be a poster, might be the class pet), showing something that really shouldn't have been brought here to someone, I'm late!, what an insteresting window, staring at the clock...

If you need a special accessorie/furniture/thingie to make the pose work, tell me and it'll be added in the background ^^

[inkbyajm]

of unspoken words

masterlist: part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

tropes: fluff, angst, hurt-comfort, slow-burn

warnings: 11 year age-gap (reader is 24-25, joel is 35-36), clothing description, arguing

word count: ~6300

author’s note: this took forever to put out because life got in the way, but i did have fun writing angst. this chapter takes course in a span of a year. goodbye, 2003.

————-　❈　————-

Five

He found her in the crowd of the Auditorium shores.

Four

Her back facing him, she stood in front of Tommy as he looked down at her.

Three

Grasping her shoulders, Tommy flashed her a smile.

Two

He leaned down, his face disappearing behind her head.

One

Joel didn't have to see in the darkness to know what was happening.

Happy New Year!

"Hey!" Joel snapped out of his daze, frowning at Tommy who was behind the wheel. "You sleepin'?"

"No, just...thinkin' of stuff."

"Good, 'cause we're here." 

Tommy had begged Joel to go out drinking with him for some time, the latter never feeling up to it: he was either tired, busy, hanging out with Sarah, or whatever other excuses he came up with. The only reason they were walking up the steps to 'Lucky Luke's' was because he had lost the bet on how long their project was going to take. They finished much earlier than Joel had confidently anticipated. He had a suspicion his brother set him up for failure, but he didn't bother to bring it up, wanting to enjoy his evening after a successful job. They entered the establishment which turned out to be bigger than it appeared from the outside. The interior was old and rustic, everything from the chairs to the panels on the walls was made of hardwood. There were all kinds of lights strung up about the ceiling, the walls were decorated with pictures of patrons, sports-related posters, number plates, flags, and so on. The music, thankfully, was quiet enough for people to hear each other. The brothers sat down at the far end of the L-shaped counter, waiting for someone to take their order.

"Remind me why we didn't go to Buddy's?" Joel asked somewhat annoyedly. He wasn't the biggest fan of changing environments.

"Because fuck Luiz and his overpriced beer. Besides, I have a feeling you'll find this place a lot more interesting."

Rubbing his face, Joel scrunched his nose. "Christ, Tommy, we've never been here. How do you know their shit don't taste like flavored tap water?"

"I trust the person who works here." Tommy replied, looking ahead.

The eldest Miller followed his gaze and saw her there, rapidly getting two glasses from under the bar and serving a young couple their cocktails. Fumbling with her notepad, she made her way across to the pair, pen in hand.

"Hi, how can I help you?" and it was only then that she looked up to see Tommy and Joel with their arms folded in front of them, the former giving her a childish smile along with a wave. "What- how'd you find out I work here? Did you stalk me? Should I get the FBI involved?"

"Good to see you too, (Y/N/N). Heard some of the guys talk about a pretty lady workin' at Lucky Luke's. Description matched so I thought it was finally time to check it out and see your impressive skills for myself," he said, clapping Joel on his shoulder. "Brought this one along with me. You don't mind, do you?"

She looked at her employer, who only gave her a brow raise. They hadn't seen much of each other since the year started, since the countdown at the Auditorium shores, since she and Tommy shared a moment much more intimate than the one they'd had on Christmas Eve. He knew he shouldn't have involved himself, especially not with the babysitter out of all people; but she gave him a scarf, a scarf she took time to knit and embroider his initials on. It sparked something in him he hadn't felt in a long time, thinking she'd felt it too. Who are you kidding? She was young, she was ambitious, and he had no business involving himself with her unless he wanted to come off as a creep. So he stopped, and boy did it eat him up inside.

They watched as she looked at the clock and disappeared behind the door near the other end of the counter. They sat in confusion for a couple of minutes until the door opened again and she walked out without her apron.

“What are you boys having?”

Tommy squinted at the board next to them, “I’ll have a pint of Blood & Honey, pretty please. Joel?”

The other brother sat with his brows furrowed, having a difficult time making a choice. Possibly running out of patience, (Y/N) took three-pint glasses from the hanging shelf above her head and poured yellow liquids into two of them, the last one appearing brown. She slid the latter to Joel, then hopped up and over the wooden counter to take a seat next to Tommy.

“You have great timing, I happen to have finished my shift,” she said and raised her glass to clink it against his. “So, what’s new?”

While Tommy talked restlessly about the day they’ve had, the bet they made, and exciting events coming up, Joel quietly nodded along every now and then, but mostly he observed her. She seemed different in an environment made for adults than she did at home with his 12-year-old kid. Ripped dark-blue jeans, sturdy boots, a military-green tank top, and a plaid shirt – she seemed like she belonged. Looking was fair game, as long as he didn’t interact too much, everything was going to be fine.

One pint down, Tommy excused himself to the bathroom, leaving his brother in a situation he didn’t want to be in. The two sat in silence for a bit, looking at their folded hands on the countertop.

“We got married pretty young, me and my ex-wife,” he suddenly spoke, keeping his eyes low. “She was my high-school sweetheart, my world. Then we got married and it all went downhill. To be honest, I’m not sure what happened even to this day. Maybe she felt suffocated, overwhelmed; I remember how hard the pregnancy was for her. In the end, a short time after Sarah was born, we had…an explosive argument. She loved her, she did, but it wasn’t enough to commit to that life. So she left, and I never saw or heard from her again.”

(Y/N) sat unmoving, then took the last sip from her glass. “Why are you telling me this, Mr. Miller?”

The formal address stung more than it should have. “Thought you deserved to know.”

“Is this what you’ve been contemplating for the past three months you’ve been freezing me out?” she laughed bitterly, looking at him for the first time since she sat down. “’ Should I or should I not provide additional lore on the mystery that is Joel Miller’?”

“(Y/N/N)-”

“Respectfully, sir, you don’t get to move the boundary lines whenever and however you want. You don’t want to be friends? That’s perfectly fine, I’ll remain respectful from now on-”

“No, just- I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to freeze you out, I-” he stared at the empty glass in his hand before she took it and hopped back over the bar to refill both of their drinks. “I don’t really have friends, and I certainly wouldn’t want our relationship to affect yours with Sarah-”

“You don’t trust me to do a good enough job despite my feelings?” she looked less angry then, more dejected.

“I do. I trust you to look after Sarah more than I do that meathead over there,” both of them looked at the far end of the room to find Tommy, with an already half-empty glass, talking with some townsfolk. “It’s myself I don’t trust.”

(Y/N) looked at him then, at the hint of sorrow displayed on his face, and leaned against the counter, their faces merely inches away from one another, “You were doing just fine, Joel. Just talk to me, okay? I promise I’m as reasonable and as patient as they come.”

He could beat himself up over having his heart squeeze at the sight of her smile later. At that moment, all he wanted to do was get to know another side of the woman he could proudly call a friend.

————-　❈　————-

Summer came much quicker than any of them had anticipated. And while (Y/N) had already made plans to stay with her family until September, her schedule for the first half of June was empty. And thankfully it was because if there's one thing she did not have in her 2002 bingo card, it's a cruise trip in the Caribbean.

"What's this?" she said as she stared at the envelope given to her by Joel. Sarah sat in the living room, whatever she was watching on the television long forgotten as she tried to concentrate on the conversation going on in the kitchen. 

"Open it."

"Are you paying me early this month?" she chuckled as she began to carefully tear it open. Her hands froze when she pulled out the printed tickets.

"An all-expenses-paid trip to cruise around with us in June," he pointed at the black-and-white printing, noting her silence. "Shit, I didn't think of- You're not busy, are you?"

"N-no, I'm leaving on the 17th but," she looked up at him. "Joel, I can't take this."

"What do you mean?"

"I- this is crazy. It probably cost you hundreds of dollars, I mean it's too generous-"

"I bought the tickets at a cheaper price months ago. Think of it as the other half of your Christmas present," he explained, his body filled with dread at the idea of making such a bold gesture. "Look, I don't want to make you feel like we're forcing you into anything. If you don't want to go, it's fine. I can get a full refund-"

She jumped on him then, with her arms tightly wrapped around him, she was almost hanging off his neck. He gladly caught her, chuckling in relief. "Of course, I'll come, I'd be more than happy to."

Rapid steps were heard coming from the living room and just as (Y/N) had detached herself from the man in front of her, a smaller body crashed into hers. "You're coming! We're gonna have so much fun!" said Sarah, jumping up and down excitedly.

The young woman wasn't exactly sure of what there was to do on a gigantic boat in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. However, she soon found out they had programs for the entirety of their 4-night stay, which included karaoke, dancing, games, and trivia nights. 

On the first day, (Y/N) found out the Miller brothers had pipes on them, singing and jamming to songs from Radiohead and the like. She’d never seen Joel that relaxed, carefree, or joyful; he moved as if nothing else in the world mattered but that moment they were living in. She and Sarah performed ABBA and Hallican Drops songs, riding on the confidence boost given by the crowd cheering them on enthusiastically.

Another day passed, and while Sarah went to join kids her age for ‘Youth Night’, the adults hit the bar for ‘Trivia Night’. The following things were facts: Joel and (Y/N) are equally competitive, Joel is a sore loser, (Y/N) gets loud when she’s passionate, and Tommy is there to have a drink and a laugh. Despite the small disputes and a few I-told-you-so’s, team ‘Lucky Jackasses’ managed to secure second place and win $120 worth of beverages as well as a three-course meal dinner for all the team members.

After the event, once everyone was settled with drinks in their hands, Tommy walked towards the railing to find (Y/N) leaning against it, gazing at the vast ocean.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Her head turned, the startled expression replaced by a smile as he put his jacket around her shoulders. “Just lookin’, admiring.”

“For such a nice lady, I didn’t think you could turn so intense so quick.”

She laughed, feeling a bit embarrassed at the amount of times she’d slammed the table or wildly gestured with her hands. “Yeah, I can get really competitive when it comes to games and such. I can take a loss, though, not like a certain someone.”

“Now imagine how I felt growing up. Thank the lord I was never like that, or else we woulda killed each other a long time ago.” he reminisced.

“Where is he anyway?”

“Went to put Sarah to bed. Think he might have hit the hay himself, the old man.”

There was a minute of silence where both of them just stared at the daunting darkness ahead of them.

“He ain’t the slickest when it comes to things like this. You gotta be more obvious with him, or else you’ll torture yourself for a long time until he finally makes a decision.”

She felt pressure in her chest. Of course, Tommy would find out. “What are you referring to?”

“Come on, (Y/N/N),” he chuckled, looking at her with sympathy. “You’re not exactly hiding it. Look, Joel’s a great guy, and I’m his brother, I’d take any occasion to shit on him.”

“Tom-“

“It takes a lot to get through to him. His fear from past experiences and the need to protect Sarah hold him back, he might not even know that you’re feeling what you’re feeling. You do what you want to do, but my advice is: show him what it is you need him to see and make no room for ambiguity.”

She wanted to share her thoughts, express her doubts to the man she considered a close friend. But she couldn’t, not at that moment. So she spoke the very next thought aloud instead:

“It is so crazy to think we’re floating on a piece of metal in the middle of a large mass of water. So many creatures underneath us, so many people on board. Have you seen Titanic?”

“We are not talkin’, let alone thinkin’, about the Titanic right now.” Tommy said as he began physically retracting himself from the conversation.

“I can’t help-”

“Don’t,” he said firmly, pointing at her like one would at a misbehaving dog. “I am not letting anything or anyone fuck up my relaxation time.”

The two walked back to their adjacent rooms, slightly tipsy. They noted the darkness as soon as Tommy opened the door to his shared cabin - Joel was asleep until he wasn’t. Woken up by the faintest noise, he noticed the jacket she wore and the tired smile her face carried, indicating they had been out there for a long time. His hands clenched under the blanket at the sight of her hugging his brother goodnight as she whispered in his ear before departing.

—

The next day, as the ship docked at Cozumel, an island just off the coast of Mexico, the family decided to go out and explore what it had to offer. The activities mainly consisted of scuba diving, which Joel had reserved in advance due to Sarah’s insistence, swimming in crystal clear water, and exploring ruins. The eldest Miller seemed content and at peace, or at least he did at the beginning of their little expedition. (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice the cold emanating from him, the way he’d be quick to glue himself to Sarah even when he didn’t need to, those moments he’d be more interested in studying the bushes than interacting with her. Tommy was right, she needed to be more forward. The trip was an opportunity she didn’t want to waste. Realistically, the worst thing he could do is reject you and/or fire you, she thought, then you can go back to living your life without this anxiety. Or you could curl up in your cabin and cry. 

It started with small gestures: offering him water from her bottle, asking to take pictures of him and Sarah on her film camera, and pointing at pretty things during their diving session. Then, once she felt there was less resistance, she moved on to bumping shoulders with him, exchanging facts about the ancient Maya civilization, and splashing him with water as they all played in the sea. Just before they went out to swim, Sarah asked her babysitter if she could help with her sunscreen application. When she turned back to her towel, her eyes landed on a shirtless Joel. Her soon-to-be-35-year-old employer was exactly the kind of fit she imagined a father who works in construction to look like. He caught her staring, and to avoid drowning in embarrassment, she offered to apply sunscreen on his face. The entire process seemed way more intimate than it was. He stood very still, watching her work with such focus, gently gliding over the skin on his chin, his cheeks, under his eyes, his forehead, and his nose. Upon making accidental eye contact, he saw her get visibly flustered, causing her to take a step back.

“Could you get my back too?” he asked tentatively. “‘Afraid I’m not as flexible as I used to be.”

Whispering a quick ‘sure’, she began rubbing the cream on his shoulders first. She believed she had the green light to ease the tension in his muscles while they were at it. Unbelievably stiff at first, Joel relaxed under her touch with every circular movement of her thumbs. Feeling like she’d been at it for far too long, the young woman pulled away, earning a genuine ‘thank you’ accompanied by a smile. She had made great progress that day, showing just the right amount of affection to not spook him away. He wasn’t put off by any of it, however, which gave her a great sense of relief, an indication she’d been going in the right direction so far. 

Once the evening came, the group split into two pairs: Joel and (Y/N) went on a stroll on the beach not far away from the pier while Sarah and Tommy went to quench their thirst at the bar further away. Though they shared a few jokes and remarks about the beauty of their surroundings, their walk was mostly filled with comfortable silence. At some point, Joel’s phone went off, prompting him to walk further away from the waves.

Something smacked itself against her leg and looking down, (Y/N) realized it was a straw-coloured boater hat.

“Sorry! That’s mine.” she heard someone exclaim above the waves crashing onto the sand. A young man, seemingly her age, jogged up to her with a warm smile. “Wind’s picking up, blew it right off my big head.”

His comment made her giggle, handing over the headwear, “No problem, it happens.”

“Are you from the Voyager?”

“I am.”

“Where’s your family? You didn’t go on a cruise all by yourself, did you?”

“No, that would be kind of sad,” she chuckled. “I’m here with the family I babysit for.”

“Wow, you must be a damn good nanny,” his brows raised in astonishment. “Do they need a cleaner by any chance? A driver, maybe? I don’t ask for much, I can live in the basement. Hell, a closet would do!”

This made her burst out laughing, triggering him to do the same. “I also do all of those things, not sure I want to compete with someone over a job I like.”

“Alright, so if we look at the CV of a successful nanny, we have,” he said, putting on imaginary glasses and comically squinting at the equally nonexistent paper in his hand. “Intelligent, talented, able to grow arms to flip pancakes and iron a t-shirt at the same time, strikingly beautiful obviously, excellent cook because of course you are, am I missing anything?”

“I happen to have a natural talent for board games,” she smiled, proudly. “You can actually ask my boss, he has yet to beat me.” 

But as she turned her head, she saw Joel rapidly making his way further away from them.

“Sorry, it seems I’ve got to go,” she muttered, giving him an apologetic look as she walked backward. “It was nice to meet you, take care of that hat!”

(Y/N) was forced to jog up almost 30 feet to catch up to the brooding man.

“Hey, why didn’t you call me? Is it Sarah? Is Tommy alright?” The latter’s name seemed to deepen his scowl.

“No, just thought I’d leave you and Harold Lloyd to yourselves.” he grumbled, looking strictly ahead.

“I’m sorry for getting caught up in the conversation. He was being nice, you know, friendly tourist banter?”

“He was hitting on you, (Y/N), and if you can’t see that then you’re more naive than I thought.”

He had never treated her like anything but his equal, so naturally being called childish not only hurt her but woke something up inside her as well, all of the pent-up frustration suddenly coming to the surface.

“Fine, so he was flirting. Is that a problem?”

“No problem at all,” he said unconvincingly. “Just doing my job as a wingman.”

It took her a second to realize what, or rather who, he was referring to. “What the fuck does this have to do with Tommy?” He didn’t answer her immediately, taking long and quick strides along the sand. “Joel!”

He only stopped when she abruptly tugged at his arm, finally meeting his eyes. “You like him, don’t you?”

The question almost came as a slap. Where was this coming from? “What? Since when?!”

“Since you first laid eyes on each other last Christmas. Or since your kiss on New Year’s Eve. I don’t know, I’m not exactly keeping track.”

Instead of tugging at her hair, a need she strongly wanted to give into, the young woman rubbed her face with frustration instead. "I know you aren't stupid, and Tommy did warn me about how oblivious you can be, but good God, to this extent?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I care about you, okay?" she shouted, sounding somewhat desperate.

Heavy silence passed, the only sounds being the relentless lapping of the waves accompanied by her heavy breathing. The two of them stared at each other as if truly seeing one another for the first time.

"I don't understand-"

"I like you, Joel. And I'm tired of tiptoeing around it." She sensed him battling with himself, his own emotions, his thoughts.

"You can't, you-" something resembling despair crossed his expression. "(Y/N/N), you're young-"

"Jesus, Joel, stop acting like you're decrepit!" she approached him then, noticing the way he took a couple of steps back. "You're just a guy in his thirties, raising a daughter, looking for...companionship in this messed-up world."

They were much closer now, chests almost touching, neither of them breaking eye contact. She caught him glancing at her lips for a millisecond, afraid to move even the slightest muscle. Her name didn't fully leave his mouth when she crashed her mouth onto his, shutting him up for good. She felt lightheaded yet more alive than ever, relishing in the feeling of his hands gently taking hold of her waist. They parted then to bring air back into their lungs as she pressed her forehead against his.

"You don't want to do this." he spoke in an almost pained whisper.

(Y/N) caressed his cheeks, maintaining eye contact. "Don't tell me what to do, Miller."

————-　❈　————-

Was the concept of love complicated in and of itself, or was it the people involved that made it unnecessarily difficult? The question floated around in his mind for months, like a ghost that needed to be laid to rest. Jane Eyre had fallen in love with the ever-brooding Mr Rochester. Elizabeth Bennett, too, succumbed to her feelings for the stubborn and slightly awkward Mr Darcy. And while it was common for young women to see older men in that period of history, an age gap as large as theirs was harder to deal with in modern days.

The months that followed their shared moment at the beach felt like torture. Joel tried to balance out his life, spending as much time with his daughter as he did working to make it a fun break for her. If there was one thing he didn’t want to be remembered for it’s being a negligent parent, someone who put their work before their own child. He also spent those long suffocating summer days thinking about her and wondering what she was getting up to. She had only sent one letter to the Millers for the entire duration of the season - it was a beautiful postcard along with a picture of herself and her friends surrounded by greenery. The back of the card read:

Dear Joel,

I hope your summer is going well. Mine certainly is! I sent you a picture of me and my friends in the middle of a hike, which was very difficult but oh so worth it! The views are spectacular here, I wish you could see it for yourself. Many kisses to you, to Tommy, and especially to Saz.

With love,

She seemed so happy, her face beaming despite her sore limbs and sweaty skin. She deserved that kind of life, the kind where she would smile and laugh more often than she cried or frowned, the kind where she could rely on her partner at all times to have her needs met and her concerns heard, the kind she would feel supported even for the smallest things. Joel wanted to give her that life, but he wasn’t sure if he could. What she didn’t deserve was unanswered calls, postponed dates, tired exchanges, weird glances, constant worry, concerned comments, or countless excuses. It wasn’t a certainty that life with him would be like that, but it was a possibility, which was already too much of a risk. She might have reconsidered her feelings already, using her time away to really think about what she was getting into. He didn’t know when she’d be back, either, so instead of obsessing over it, he decided to occupy his mind with other things.

When his 35th birthday came around, it started just about how he expected it to. He woke up, feeling just as old as ever, got dressed, and went downstairs to be welcomed by the sight of Sarah setting up his birthday breakfast with Tommy’s very generous help. Afterward, they packed Tommy’s truck for the day, drove the child to school, and went to work. In the evening, on their way home, Joel noticed how weirdly non-talkative his brother was, letting the radio fill the silence instead.

“What’s going on?”

Tommy looked at him confusedly, “What do you mean?”

“You’re awfully silent.”

“What, am I not allowed to be?” he chuckled in response. “Do you want me to talk? ‘Cause I can. In fact, I was thinking about how Johnny-”

“Never mind, just- just forget I said anything.” Joel sighed, dismissing the conversation with a wave of his hand.

Once they parked in front of the garage, the absence of light in the house didn’t go unnoticed by the owner.

“Did Sarah tell you about goin’ to a friend’s?” he asked, suddenly anxious.

“I don’t recall. Maybe she went to bed.” his brother shrugged, prompting his brother to check his watch. It was only half past eight.

Carefully, he walked up to the door, its unlocked state rendering him vigilant, and cautiously walked into the pitch-black living room.

“Sarah?” he called out into what seemed to be an empty room.

Before he could take another step, all of the smaller lights turned on simultaneously as a group of people yelled ‘Surprise!’, each of them wearing some kind of silly party accessories such as a hat, oversized colorful glasses, or a boa. He also noted the sudden presence of confetti on himself, turning his head to see Tommy grinning with a party popper in his hand. The individuals standing in his home were all the closest he had to ‘friends’: people he had worked and gotten along with, a couple of dads he befriended through Sarah’s soccer games and the Adlers. Everyone took turns to hug the birthday boy before engaging in conversations in separate parts of the room. Sarah was the last and he gladly swept her into the biggest and warmest hug, immensely proud of his little girl.

“Did you plan this?”

“Yeah, Uncle Tommy helped. Do you like it?”

It was only then that he really looked at the way the space was decorated with streamers, balloons, cut-outs, and a big banner that read ‘Happy 35th, Joel’.

“I love it, baby girl, thank you.” he squeezed her one more time before letting go and walking over to catch up with every guest. 

Everyone served themselves to the food put out on the coffee table, something the guests contributed to: deviled eggs, cheese pretzels, small cups of hummus and veggie sticks, fried shrimp, and a very well-assembled charcuterie board. After about an hour of chatting, Sarah announced it was time for his gift. His eyes were covered with a bandana then he heard her scurrying away towards the kitchen, turning the lights off on the way. He sat there for a few seconds and then heard it. He wasn’t sure if his ears were deceiving him, making him think (Y/N) was singing happy birthday to him. The pit in his stomach grew. She isn’t here, you’re making it up, you are losing it. But she sounded so vivid. When the song was over, he lowered the bandana with shaking hands and saw her standing in front of him, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the candles on the cake held by his daughter. Without thinking, he took a couple of steps and crashed his lips on hers rougher than he intended to. The deafening applause and cheering were drowned out by his emotions as he felt her flesh under his palms, desperately clinging onto her waist with one hand and her head with the other. Once they parted to catch their breath, he pressed his forehead against hers, wanting to keep her as close as possible.

“I missed you,” he whispered, the most vulnerable he’d ever been in front of others. “So damn much.”

“I missed you too,” she gently ran her thumbs across his cheeks, feeling many butterflies at the sight of his smile. “I meant what I said on the beach. I want to do this and a million more things with you.”

Their moment had to be interrupted by Tommy shoving a camcorder in their faces, asking to ‘say hello to the future’. Joel’s only response was to try and get the camera back (to no avail). The candles, long blown out by Sarah, were lit once more so he could properly make a wish. And all he could hope for as he stood there, surrounded by the people closest to him, was more moments just like it.

————-　❈　————-

Things only looked up for the pair from then on. They celebrated every single holiday together, dressed up for Halloween (after much pleading from (Y/N), who did not spare Joel’s little brother from her shenanigans) to enjoy the festivities with Sarah, organized countless movie nights and board-game sessions, and even frequented Sarah’s soccer games together more often than not. Everything was going smoothly until after her graduation when both of them realized what it meant for their future.

The weeks that followed were nothing but tense. It started with Joel distancing himself for no apparent reason, which naturally caused his lover to start asking questions. She was frustrated she had to pry him back open after they’d spent so much time together. He was avoidant, he was cold, and he made excuses, leading to the biggest argument they’d ever had after she barged into his house one evening when Sarah was away. It was a lot of yelling, many accusations, and even more words neither of them really meant.

“I can’t do this if you don’t talk to me, Joel.”

“Then don’t. Go,” he was heaving. She’d never seen him so angry. “I warned you. At the very beginning. I warned you and you didn’t listen, so this is all on you.”

She stepped out into the summer night with her face stained with endless tears, her eyes puffy, and her throat raw, hiccupping all the way to her car. As soon as the door closed, she broke down again, pouring her grief onto her steering wheel. That night was the last time she would visit the Miller residence. She said goodbye to Sarah alone a few weeks later, just before hitting the road. She would, however, see Joel again months later.

————-　❈　————-

September 26th, 2003.

09:06 pm

She walked down the street in downtown Austin, heading towards the bus that would take her on an hour-and-a-half trip to San Antonio. Vehicle in sight, she was only a few feet away from leaving the city behind before a voice called her name. She didn’t need to turn around to identify it. She wanted to be dramatic and petty and just get on the bus and not dwell on the past, but the past caught up to her. The past stood behind her as she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, cursing her treacherous heart, her stupid heart, her naive heart that got her into this mess in the first place. Love and hatred pulled her in opposite directions, and she realized then that despite seemingly having made her mind up at the start of summer, she was to decide her future right then and there: standing at the border of two lives with little to no time. 

He called out for her again, and she gave in, owing herself a proper resolution to that affair.

“Hi, Joel.” she said, her tone flat as if talking to a stranger.

“I thought you left months ago.”

“I went on a trip around the country with some friends. They canceled my flight in San Antonio last week, and rescheduled it to 5 am tomorrow.” 

The rescheduling was a pain in the ass. It meant she had to either book a cheap hotel near the airport and pray she wouldn’t miss her flight, or worse, sleep directly at the terminal. She had a strange sensation the universe was trying to stop her from going anywhere.

“Oh, well,” he mumbled, his hands in his jean pockets, finding sudden interest in his shoes. “I’m sorry.”

Feeling like this interaction was going nowhere, (Y/N) bid him a good night and resumed her walk towards the bus. 

“For everything. I’m sorry for all of it.” his voice came closer. The feeling of deep-rooted sadness battled with the sensation of pent-up anger for control of her mind and body.

She scoffed, revealing a bit of that irritation, “And you call me difficult.”

“Look, I know, alright? I know I’m a stubborn asshole. I know that I can be cold and distant, I know I’m not very good at communicating. I wish-” he paused to catch his breath, or maybe think about his words before they slipped out. “I wish you hadn’t seen that side of me. God knows I haven’t felt so…at peace until I met you. I like who I am when you’re around, you balance me out. It’s selfish, very selfish, I mean you’ve got a whole future ahead of you, so many promising opportunities. And I guess I wanted to spare you from crashing and burning down the line, chained down to some guy going through a midlife crisis in Austin. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did that night and I won’t ever forgive myself for it, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you believing those words, so here I am.”

By the end of his monologue, small salty drops stained the ground beneath (Y/N)’s feet. Her heart ached for two reasons: the reassurance that he didn’t grow tired of her after all, and the grief of having to lose her love once again. She turned back to face him, noting his pleading eyes, and silently went up to wrap her arms around his neck, feeling his warmth, taking in his cologne, for the last time.

“I forgive you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I forgive you, Joel. Happy birthday.” Her hands stroked the back of his head soothingly. She realized he was crying too, her jacket bunched up in his fists, his heart audibly breaking.

This wasn’t a fairytale, like the ones she used to read to Sarah. It wasn’t one of her period romance novels. Their story came to a bittersweet end; she felt thankful, however, that it had an end at all.

“Please be happy, okay? I don’t want you sulking around just because I’m not here to act as your personal cheerleader.” she spoke quietly, holding his face, her world, in her hands.

Joel chuckled through tears, “Don’t worry, Sarah can cover for you.”

The mention of her name caused another round of tears to pool in her eyes. “Tell Saz I’m sorry, and that I love her greatly. Tell Tommy I’ll miss him too; his snoring, not so much.”

After another beat of laughter and silence, the two reluctantly parted, acknowledging that her bus was to leave at any minute. Before he lost her for good, Joel pulled her in for one last kiss, sharing her pain and heartache.

“Be good.” she whispered into his lips before forcing herself to board the bus with a heavy heart.

She saw him outside her window, putting up a palm against the glass for her to mimic. As the bus drove away from its station, she watched as her lover became smaller and smaller before receding from her view. With the family she cared for behind her, the young woman observed the disappearing scenery of the city she called her second home with a fresh set of tears.

————-　❈　————-

masterlist: part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6

tags: @elliaze @joeldjarin

[warmaidensrevenge]

Love and pinball

Pairings: Eddie x Chrissy x plus!size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Hey there. I know it's been a while. I'm so sorry for not posting as often. I've been going through some stuff and working on a lot of other things. But anywho, I finally finished up this next part. As always thanks for reading. Feedback is greatly appreciated and feel free to comment/ reblog. I'm always open to suggestions. Okay love ya byyyyyeeee.

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures used for this fic came from a Google search. A credit to the original posters.

Word count: 5,000+

Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Language, jealousy, sexual situations, alcohol use and not proof read.

Summary: The truth comes out. Leaving Eddie in a world of happiness and confusion.

Part 6: How it's supposed to feel.

Christmas was perfect. Though Eddie felt bad for crashing the party, what it all came down to was being with you. Whether it be hiding in a broom closet, making out in Paul's insanely rich in-laws house. Or in a cowboy bar on New Year's Eve. Which was what you and him were currently walking into.

You somehow convinced him to go and have a few drinks. He was now sitting on a bar stool being led with countless others to a cheers. Lead by who you ask? Well, the damn beautiful girl he came with.

" Alright you crazy fuckers!" You called out and held up a shot of tequila. "Here's to the ladies who save a horse and ride a cowboy."

The crowd who gathered around you whooped and hollered. Shooting back their drinks. You smirked at him and took your shot. When you were finished you moved past a few people to get to him. You grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

" Common cowboy. I wanna dance."

He raised a brow. " I'm anything but a cowboy sweetheart."

You lifted to your toes and gave him a little kiss. " So what you're saying is that I have to find a cowboy to ride tonight?"

He pulled at your hip to make your body flush with his. He then gave your ass a little tap." Don't tease me baby. But…if you want someone to ride. I better be that only someone."

You move so that your noses touched. " Mmm curls. You know that you're the only guy I want. " You nudged his nose with yours before pulling him to the dance floor.

He smirked and adjusted himself. You had definitely made it hard to not think about the warmth between your legs. Especially when your ass was being hugged by the blue jeans you were wearing. He could watch you walk away anytime if it meant he got to see that.

Once on the dance floor to Eddie's surprise the song that started was one he knew. Layla by Derek & The dominos.

He pulled you so that you were swaying your bottom against him. While following the beat, he held you close to him. Towards the end of the song he turned you around and rocked you back and forth. You smiled up at him and he smiled back.

" Do you want another drink?" He asked.

" Yes please."

He leaned in and whispered in your ear. " Don't dance with anyone when I'm gone."

You smirked. " I wouldn't dare…I'll wait by that beam." You pointed in the direction he would find you.

He gave you a kiss and hurried to get back. He was gone for one song and when he turned to head your way, he saw some tall medium build guy with a full on beard tipping his hat to you. While Eddie was pushing through the people, he thought that the guy was passing by. But he actually stopped and was talking to you. Eddie saw you take a step away from the guy. However your efforts to reject the dude didn't seem to faze him.

As Eddie pushed forward he saw the cowboy caress your arm. A burning rage filled him. He suddenly handed off the drinks to some random person so he could get to you quicker. Just a few feet away now he saw you put a hand on the guy's chest and slightly pushed him away. That's when Eddie nearly lost it. But then he saw you laugh and he was confused.

Finally within earshot he heard the guy.

" C'mon kitten. One dance."

" Sorry. But my boyfriend wouldn't like that very much."

The guy chuckled. "Let me show you what a real man can do."

Eddie watched as the guy tucked your hair back.

" Sugar. I can make you cum with just two fingers."

That's it mother fucker!

Eddie was a few steps behind you, ready to charge when he saw you get closer to the guy. Making him stop in his tracks.

" Mmm what an offer. But…my man can do it with just one." You took a half step back. " Isn't that right baby?"

You turned and looked over your shoulder. With a smirk on your face. Eddie then moved next to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. Glaring at the douche bag.

The guy stepped back and Eddie looked like if that guy said another word, he was gonna pounce. So you turned to face him, pulling at his chin so you could get his attention.

When he met your eyes he started to calm down.

You smiled up at him. " Common curls. Want to put that thick long finger to use?"

He smirked and chuckled. Grabbing you by the hip. Pulling so that your bodies were pressing against one anothers.

He quickly glanced at the guy letting him know you were his. " I'll give you more than a finger sweetheart."

…

"Ohhh fuuuuu…y-yeah. y-yes."

Eddie moaned uncontrollably. The way you sucked him off had his eyes rolling back. You had done this thing where you hollow out your cheeks with your hand wrapped around him. Following your mouth, creating this extra type of suction. It was incredible. He had already came once. And to his surprise you did something that Chrissy refused to do. You swallowed.

Still not done with him, you continued. Though he was so damn sensitive, he really couldn't do anything about it besides tell you. That's because his hands were tied to the headboard. Still, his pleas went ignored. Instead you pouted, giving him puppy dog eyes. Next thing he knew he was hard again. And you were doing such a good fucking job. Giving his cock little kisses and stroking him gently. Until he begged you to put it in your mouth. That's when your puppy dog eyes went dark.

You took him in a few times before retreating with a little pop as your lips left his tip.

" Mmmm you want to come again, pretty boy?"

"Sh-sh-shit baby. Please please. I want you. I-I need to feel you."

You gave him a few more strokes before untying him. After you straddled him, you kissed his wrist. Then kissed him. That's when you started rubbing against him. He could feel how soaked your panties were. Making him even harder.

A few minutes went by when he had just about enough as he could take. He rolled you over and moved you so that you were on your stomach. He made quick work of your panties. Tossing the small bundle of fabric into the darkness of the room. While pushing your hair back and kissing your shoulder, he tucked a pillow under your lower belly. Perching your ass exactly right. He then spread your legs and got into position.

Eddie smacked then rubbed his cock on your bottom. Causing you goosebumps. You felt him spread you apart and run his length up and down your cunt. Gathering your slick. And without warning he pushed in. Making you grasp the pillow and cry out.

" That's it. Such a good girl." He cooed.

Once he felt you relax he slowly rolled his hips into your ass.

" Jesus!" He groaned, feeling your slick drip down his heavy balls.

After a few pumps he laid on top of you. Kissing you wherever he could.

" T-to the left Eddie."

He did as he was told. He lifted your left cheek and rammed in. Causing sweet cries from you.

" B-b-baby. Ugh God! So good. Y-you feel so good."

He buried himself in you to the point where he felt your body tremble.

" Eddie! OHHHHH."

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead on your shoulder. Cumming along with you. This time he wished for something. He wished that you would get pregnant so that he could be linked with you forever.

As he laid there holding you after you two showered, he couldn't hold back what was shouting at him.

" I love you."

You looked up at him. Eyes moving back and forth between his. The smile that grew on your lips was beyond beautiful.

" Sucker." You whispered just before kissing him.

…

Anxiety and disbelief filled Eddie as he sat there not listening to a word Chrissy was saying. He had officially stopped listening when she said she was pregnant. The first thought he had was how this could happen? Then he thought about you. He was so happy 15 minutes ago when he left your house. Now his future with you was snatched from him.

How was he gonna have a baby with a girl he didn't love? How was he going to tell you? This was forsure the end of the relationship.

He was so close to having everything he ever wanted.

"Ed? … Ed?"

He blinked a few times before swallowing the rock in his throat. " H-how far along?"

" Four months."

He tried to go back to when that was. But he couldn't remember. That's when he looked at her. Actually looked at her. She was glowing. And even with her oversized shirt he could make out the smallest bump.

Tears filled his eyes. As much as he wanted to be happy. He just couldn't. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. So without saying another word, he left.

…

Once he pulled up to your place, he balled his eyes out. He cried for himself and for Chrissy. But he cried most of all for the future he thought he was going to have. A future with you.

He sat there for a while. Trying to put himself together enough to talk to you. But he was failing. That's when you opened the passenger door and climbed in.

" Bud? It's cold in here. You're gonna get sick."

Eddie hadn't even noticed he was shivering. You covered him in a small throw and started pouring him hot chocolate out of a thermos you brought. He then went to turn on the van and put the heat on full blast. You had settled in and sat quietly as he tried to drink what you gave him.

What felt like an eternity later you cleared your throat.

" Eddie, do…do you not want to do this anymore?"

He turned to you and grabbed your hand. " Yes y/n I do. I want us so bad…I just…" he sighed. " I just don't know how we can."

You furrowed your brow. " What does that mean?"

He hung his head and tried so hard to not cry again. After a moment you cupped his chin, lifting it so he could look at you.

"Eddie, whatever it is…you can tell me."

He looked back and forth between your eyes, then nodded.

He recounted what happened before he stopped listening.

-

He had walked in and called out to Chrissy. But there was no answer. That's when he went to the room and started packing. Planning on staying with Gareth until he could find his own place. After he packed most of his necessities he waited in the living room until Chrissy came home.

She smiled at him. " Hey! You're back. I hope you had a good Christmas and New years."

He got right to the point. " Chris, this relationship is over. It's been over for some time now. And I think you knew it too." He sighed a little before continuing. " I…I'm really sorry for all of this. I honestly didn't mean to fall for her…" he smiled to himself thinking about you. " But I did. I'm in love with her. And I think she loves me too. I just think she's not ready to tell me if you're still in the picture…she uhhh she asked me to be with her. And I want that. I want to be with her…just her."

He looked up and saw tears in Chrissy's eyes. He felt terrible. Still this needed to be done.

" I love her Chris… the way I loved you except…it's more you know." He reached up and wiped her tears aways. " I really am sorry Chris."

Chrissy sniffled and moved his hand away. " Eds, I know. I knew you were falling for her since the carnival…it was apart of the plan."

He was confused. " What plan? What are you talking about?"

Chrissy paused for a second freaking him out even more. " Eds I was gonna end things with you. But I needed to make sure you were gonna be okay. That's why I pushed for you to see someone else. But now I…I don't know."

Anger filled him. " This whole time Chrissy?! You wanted to break up all this time? Is that why you wanted to open up the relationship?" He stood up and faced her. " You should have just ended it! You should have-"

" Eds I'm pregnant."

A ringing filled his ears after hearing that. His stomach fell to his ass and he felt sick. That couldn't be true.

-

" Sweetheart?"

You weren't looking at him anymore. You were staring at your hand in his. Your silence scared the living shit out of him.

" Sweetheart?" He said again.

" C-congradulations. I uhhh. If you need anything. Just umm let me know yeah?"

Before he could say anything you were out of the van, hurrying up the sidewalk.

He quickly jumped out and chased you.

" Y/n wait."

You stopped as soon as you got on the porch. Making his stop on the bottom step.

" Y/n I'm so sorry. It was an accident."

" Go home Eddie."

He took a step up. " No please. I need to talk to you. We need to figure this out."

You turned around with tears streaming down your face. " There's nothing to figure out. There's no we anymore. There's only you and Chrissy and the baby…so go home. I-I'm sure Chrissy must be going through it right now."

" But y/n-"

" No Eddie. No buts." You took a couple steps forward. Only a few inches away from him.

He sniffled. " I'm s-sorry."

You then reached for his tears while he reached to wipe away yours.

" I... I love you Eddie…but I'm gonna love you from here…Go take care of Chrissy. And try to be happy..." you smiled a little. "You're gonna be a daddy bud."

He hung his head and cried after you left him standing there. And for the first time in his life, he heart was truly broken.

…

2 months later

Eddie was nothing but a shell of a guy. He was numb. Almost zombie-like. He did what you told him to do. He did the right thing. He stood with Chrissy. But he didn't expect her to need him as much as she did. She was having a rough go of it. Her morning sickness wasn't just in the morning and she was constantly crying. That or she would freak out on him. But no matter what she said or did, he tried to be a good partner. Even though he had been sleeping on the couch since the day you told him to go.

He dreamt of you almost every night. Always waking up crying. Most of the dreams he had were of how happy you two were. But sometimes he would dream of your face from that day. That pain and let down written on your face haunted him. He had never meant to hurt you. Not ever. And definitely not like that.

All he wanted to do was hold you. And tell you how much he still loved you.

There were times when he saw you heading to your shift at Family video. He wanted to say hi and ask how you were. But then he would stop himself from crossing the street. He didn't want to hurt you anymore than he already had.

Which you could say the same thing for yourself. The months were agonizing. Seeing him from afar made your heart ache so much you could barely hold yourself together. But the absolute worst thing about this break up was when Natalie asked for him.

Needless to say. Being without one another was one of the worst pains either of you ever felt.

That's why one night you decided to pick up a short shift at The Hideout on a Tuesday night.

You needed to see him. Needed to hear his voice. You had to talk to him.

-

Once the stage was all set up. Eddie had a quick meeting with the band.

It has been a while since he played for more than five drunks. So tonight was going to be different. Eddie made the decision to do covers tonight. Normally when the crowd was heavy like tonight, they would play a little bit of Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath and Metallica. Just a couple of popular songs from each band to draw more people each time Corroded Coffin performed.

The first song up was The Troop. Then immediately after they played For Whom the Bell Tolls.

The audience went nuts for that one. Reminding Eddie why he loved doing this. People from all walks of life, join together by music.

Mid song the lights went down for a split second and he l saw you behind the bar. Banging your head and smiling. God you were as beautiful as the day he first saw you. For a moment he was stunned. But Gareth got his attention back to the song and the spotlight blinded him again.

Eddie couldn't help the grin he had on. Two terrible months, almost three passed by without him seeing that gorgeous smile.

In the split of a second he knew he had to do a certain song. Just for you.

-

He was perfect. Eddie was as beautiful as ever. And man could he sing and play. It was so crazy that all this time, not once have you seen him like this. He really was amazing.

Another head banger started and you were totally enjoying every second of it. That was until someone asked for water.

You looked up and were surprised to see her.

" Chris- Chrissy? Umm h-hi. Erm yeah. L-let me uhhh." You stuttered.

You quickly grabbed her a glass of ice water and turned back around. Her big pretty eyes felt like daggers.

" Are you okay?" She asked.

You nervously chuckled and gave her the drink. " umm yeah. I ummm I was just surprised to see you here."

You shouldn't be here…It's not safe.

" Yeah. Eds told me not to come. But I wanted to see him…it's been so long since I've seen the guys."

" Well uhh if you need anything. Just holler."

You couldn't get away from her fast enough. Now worried that you wouldn't get your chance to talk to Eddie alone.

-

As soon as the song was over Eddie immediately gave the guys a heads up on a song change. Gareth shook his head and told him not to.

"Please man. I'm begging you. I need to do this. She loves that song."

Gareth shook his head and flexed his jaw. " Alright! But if she gets hurt. I'm gonna kick your ass."

" Deal!"

Eddie then went back to the mic and smiled.

" I hope everyone is having a good time tonight!"

The crowd whooped.

" Hell yeah! So for this next one we're gonna slow things down a bit."

He counted off and Jeff played the opening to November Rain.

A few moments later Eddie began singing.

🎵

"When I look into your eyes

I can see a love restrained

But darlin' when I hold you

Don't you know I feel the same?

Nothin' lasts forever

And we both know hearts can change

And it's hard to hold a candle

In the cold November rain"

🎵

The lights lowered a little and Eddie scanned the bar for you. Not taking notice that Chrissy was there.

When his eyes locked with yours nothing was better than that moment. You were smiling and swaying. Singing along with him.

🎵

"If we could take the time to lay it on the line

I could rest my head just knowin' that you were mine

All mine

So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain

Or I'll just end up walkin' in the cold November rain"

🎵

The memory of one summer day flashed before both of your eyes.

-

You, Eddie and Natalie were grocery shopping. Eddie was following you, pushing the cart. Sneaking handfuls of Honeycomb cereal. Secretly giving some to Natalie.

You had walked away for a second to grab some fruit snacks when he gave Natalie a mouthful.

They were both giggling away until he heard you clear your throat.

He and Natalie both covered their mouths.

You came up to them and crossed your arms. "You both are in big BIG trouble."

There was a second there where Eddie honestly thought he upset you. Then you smiled and held out your hand

" I want some too."

He grinned and instead of handing you some he fed you and Natalie all throughout the store.

Once the groceries were in the trunk ,you tossed Eddie the keys. He had just started driving you home when you gasped a little.

" Dude! This song is never on the radio."

He looked over and saw you turn the volume up. And to his surprise you and Natalie started humming to the song. You had looked over the seat to Natalie and pointed at her.

That's when he heard her soft little voice sing.

" In the cold November Rain."

Eddie looked at you and you had this big beautiful smile mouthing the words with her.

His heart melted seeing and hearing that. Natalie didn't know all the words but it was the most precious thing he had ever heard.

" God I love this song." You said.

" It's a really good one." He agreed.

He then reached over and put a hand on your thigh. Giving it a little squeeze before returning his hand to the wheel.

-

The song continued and you were happy. For a moment you truly were. However, that moment was taken by Chrissy. Who ran out the bar. Without really thinking you chased after her.

" Chrissy? Hey Chrissy. Are you alright?"

She turned around and was balling. " No! I'm not okay! Okay?"

" What is it? Did someone hurt you? Is it the baby?"

She hung her head and hugged herself. " N-no. I… I just want to go home."

" Okay. Do you think you can drive?" You asked.

She shook her head. " I came by bus. My-my car's in the shop."

You should have called her a cab. But the thought of her alone with a stranger scared you. So you drove her.

When you parked in front of the apartment building you sat quietly. Chrissy was sniffling and wiping her eyes.

" I'm-I'm sorry y/n."

" There's nothing to be sorry about. I get it. The hormones are going haywire."

She laughed a little then shook her head. " It's not just that…I'm really sorry about Eddie."

You sucked in a sharp breath. Why on earth would she be sorry?

" Chrissy I-...Eddie was always yours. You just let me borrow him. For a bit. " You hung your head after that. For a little while there, you thought he was yours.

" That's not true. Well maybe it was two years ago. But it hasn't been since he met you. Maybe even before."

You looked at her a bit surprised by that.

" I know I haven't been the best girlfriend to him…actually the worst."

You cleared your throat. " It's none of my business Chris-"

She started crying again. "Yes it is! I knew you were important to him…but tonight I saw how much…you know, he's never looked at me the way he looked at you tonight."

"I'm- sorry."

She softly chuckled. " I know you are. But the thing is…I don't care that he did. I- all I care about is how Jason looks at me…"

Then why did you bring it up if you didn't care?

Chrissy let out a long sigh. " I…I've been in love with Jason for a really long time. And to be honest I only went out with Ed's to make him jealous. But then Eddie really had a way about him…He was easy to talk to. And God he was funny…but no matter how I felt about Ed's, I felt even more for Jason."

Okay this really is none of my business.

You stood quiet and listened to how she had stopped seeing other people. She wanted to be in a committed relationship with Jason but she wanted Eddie to have someone to lean on.

"I…I screwed up…I-I-I broke so many rules with Jason. But the worst one…"

Oh fuck! Don't say it.

" I don't know who the baby's father is…"

All of a sudden you felt like crying too. You felt so bad for her. It was already a lot being pregnant. But to have the weight of not knowing who the father was must have been terrible.

You didn't know what to say so you hugged her while she sobbed.

After a few minutes she let you go.

" I really don't know what to say other than I'm sorry."

She nodded. " Now I know why Ed's loves you."

You guys were quiet again. She really had a way about making you feel awkward.

" Chrissy…Honey you have to tell Eddie."

She sniffled and nodded. " I kn-know. I'm just scared."

You reached for her hand and gently squeezed it. " Eddie's a good guy. You don't have to be scared of him. He will appreciate the truth…and if the baby is his, he will be a great dad."

She smiled. " I know he will be…I'm just afraid to admit what I really want."

You thought for a second. " Whatever it is, I'm sure Eddie will understand."

Before she walked away from the car you called after her.

" Chrissy, if you ever need anything. Just call me."

She gave you a small smile and wave before heading in.

…

Eddie was sitting on the porch when you came home. He stood up and watched you come up the walkway.

" And here I am half expecting you to be here with a radio above your head."

He looked to the side and grinned. " If you want, I can do that."

" Nah. I had enough cliches for one night."

He looked back at you and you looked a little sad. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

You took a deep breath and went to sit down, with him following.

" The band did really great tonight. I especially loved the cover of November Rain." You said shoulder bumping him.

He brushed your hair over your shoulder. " It reminded me of a really great day."

You turned your head towards him. " It was a great day wasn't it? You know I always had trouble telling the difference between Steven Tyler and Axel Rose's voice into you pointing out that Axel's voice was more-"

" Whinny." You both said together. Laughing lightly after.

He smiled and nodded. But then you looked away and his smile faded.

" Chrissy was there tonight…she was uhhh…upset."

His brows pinched together. " Is she okay? Are you okay?"

" Y-yeah. She's fine. Just stressed out…I…I think you should go home. She needs you."

He wanted to say he didn't care. He wanted to say that one of her boyfriends could be there for her. But he knew that was shitty.

" I will. But first I wanted to ask. Why did you come tonight?"

You smiled a little then stared off. " I-I missed you Eddie. I know I shouldn't, but I do. There's so much I want to say but I can't. There are things going on that you need to know."

He reached for your chin and made you look at him. " What happened? What did Chrissy say to you?"

You sighed and closed your eyes. While pulling his hand away you hung your head.

" It's…I…it's me…I'm late."

" Late for what?"

You looked up to see if he was serious…He was. He had no clue what you were talking about.

You kept silent, hoping you wouldn't have to say it again. But when he took too long you scoffed a little.

" C'mon curls. Get there faster."

You stared at each other a little while longer when you saw it click.

There it is.

At first he thought how? Then all he could think of was how excited he was.

" W-what?! R-really?! Oh man. I- fuck!" He said while pulling you into a big hug. Tears of happiness filled his eyes. "Baby I-I-I can't believe it. Do you know how happy I am?"

He leaned back a little and kissed you.

" Mmmmm. So. Mmmmm. Happy."

A part of you was glad that he was, but the other part was confused by it.

" E-eddie. Wait. Stop for a second."

He leaned back again. " I'm sorry. It's just…you're gonna have my baby."

He went for another kiss but you moved and put a hand on his chest.

" Eddie no. Please just take a second to think about this."

He pulled away and felt like he got punched in the gut. Chrissy.

You gave him a thin lip. " Yeah. Chrissy."

He shook his head and his tears of happiness were now ones of sadness and regret.

" We promised each other that we would always be honest with one another. And this is me keeping to that promise...I don't really know what happened. The first month I didn't think too much about not having a period. It happens sometimes. But then when I didn't get it again. I..well I took a test...it was positive. I confirmed it with my doctor three days ago. Turns out I got pregnant around Christmas...Eddie as much as I miss you and how much I want a family with you. I can't ask-"

"Baby you don't have to ask me for anything. I would give you anything and everything. I love you and-"

You stood up and walked to the door. " You need to go home."

He jumped up. " No! Don't walk away from me again."

" Eddie just listen…There's something Chrissy needs to tell you. And you need to hear it. Tonight."

" I want to be with you y/n."

You went to him and gave him a hug. " I know. But right now, I need you to go home."

With that said you gave him a kiss on the cheek and went inside.

…

Eddie drove and drove. After the conversation with Chrissy, he felt completely lost. Hours later and two states away he pulled up to a place he thought he would never be at again. But something about seeing it gave him a little bit of comfort.

Once inside, he took a deep breath and headed for a stool. He sat down and picked up the receiver that was hanging off the wall.

" Eddie?"

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. " Hey Dad."

...

@marsmunson86 @browneyes528 @erinsingalong @salenorona23 @emsgoodthinkin @eddie-is-a-god @manda-panda-monium

[123pixieaod]

Tried to write a fun little fic about why Daniel unfollowed on Instagram Zak, Michael, Fernando, and Nicki, the most random quartet possible, only to end up with this lol

Daniel finally answers a call at just gone 4.30am, Max's time. It's 5.30am, Daniel's time, which admittedly is only marginally better, but maybe the hospital he's in has some crazy Get-Up-And-Seize-The-Day sort of ethos. Although from what Christian has told him, Daniel might not be seizing anything, metaphorically or otherwise, for some time.

"Daniel," Max says as soon as he hears the line clicking through. "How are you? How do you feel? Is your wrist alright? Do the doctors and nurses take care of you, do they speak English, or did Red Bull send a Spanish translator and I hope I have not woken you up and-"

He cuts himself off. There's a sort of stunned silence on the other side of the line. Sometimes, Max thinks his need for Daniel is a bottomless pit, something that has hollowed him out and leaves an ache echoing through him.

"Max?" Daniel says, incredulous. High, drugged up, gone on pain medication. "How did you get into my phone?!"

Max squeezes his eyes shut. His mouth is twisted, making some shape. A smile, a frown? He doesn't know, nobody can see him in his old childhood bedroom.

He wants to be with Daniel. He wants to brush a hand through his curls and run his fingertips along the lines of his faded tattoos like how a child would first begin to trace letters and numbers.

I miss you, he wants to say

I want you

I need you

"I'm not in your phone," he says instead, tone light and soft. "I called you. I am in the Netherlands."

"Oh," Daniel says, as if the fact Max had not been magically transformed into his phone is mildly disappointing. "What are you doing there?"

"We had a race, remember?" Max says. He's stretched out on his old bed. His feet dangle just slightly off the edge, and each year, he's promised a new one, bigger and larger and finally a grown-up bed. But it never materialises and Max has stopped bringing it up now.

The room is unchanged. Around him, the faces of former racing legends watch him, tapped to his wall. Above, stars look down, stuck to his ceiling in haphazard patterns. The day his father got to play God and created universes and cosmos splayed above his head.

"Of course," Daniel huffs good naturedly. "You won, Maxy."

"I know," Max replies softly.

"It was your ninth consecutive win," Daniel continues, his tone strong and proud, as if it's Daniel who has achieved it. Maybe he's so high on meds he thinks it is, that him and Max are some sort of Jeckyl and Hyde being, two sides of the same life. Max doesn't know. A headache is building behind his eyes. He hasn't really slept since Friday, three days previous.

"You're now equalling Sebastian Vettle. If you win the next race, you'll beat the record." Daniel continues before pausing, as if realisation is only just dawning. "I don't think I'll be there."

"No," Max murmurs. "I don't think you will be either."

"My wrist is really fucked," Daniel goes back to his jubilant tone, like a child with the best show and tell in school. "I have a metal plate in it, isn't that neat?"

He laughs. Max closes his eyes, just listening to the sound. "Imagine if it goes off at every airport security, Maxy? How annoying with that be?" He laughs again, the prospect sounding delightful to him in that very moment.

Max hums softly, and then shifts on the bed, turning away from the stars his father hung up for him. Instead, he moves to his side, facing a giant poster of Micheal Schumacher celebrating one of his championships. At the bottom, Max, to great things! MS. He was six. It was one of the best Christmas presents his dad had ever gotten him.

"How do you feel?" He asks. Daniel is humming a tune under his breath, the theme song to some gameshome Max barely recognises. He stops at Max's question.

"Good," he says happily. "I have gained deep clarity."

That shocks a laugh out of Max, as only Daniel, even doped, drugged Daniel, can do. The longing feels physical, the hole never ending in his chest. He closes his eyes, blocking out the stars and racing legends whose shine has faded and whose records he's now beating.

In another life, he thinks, he would be there. He'd be the first face Daniel would see, the first hand he'd get to hold, the first for nearly everything, just like Daniel had been for Max.

But instead they're a time zone apart and Daniel is alone in a country where he can't even speak the language and Max is in his childhood bedroom, surrounded by his family who are fast sleep and utterly oblivious to the fact he's gay, let alone in a relationship with Daniel Ricciardo.

"Clarity," Max forces his mind back on track. "How so?"

"Oh you know," Daniel says with ease. "Cleared my mental space."

Max huffs another laugh. His chest aches, empty. He wonders does Daniel know how hollowed out he is without him.

"Go on."

"Well, I deleted a shit ton of apps. That wellness app you made me download last year? Sorry Maxy, but that went," Daniel makes a popping noise. "And the fertility tracking app Scotty downloaded at his bachelor's party."

"Presumably he just got his and your phones mixed up, right?"

"No Maxy, it was a prank because I -" Daniel breaks away, finally understanding, laughing as if Max has made the funniest joke possible.

"Okay so you cleared up some space on your phone," Max prompts him.

"Oh yes, and then deleted twitter and went to WhatsApp and left about a billion groups and then I went to Instagram, and went through who I followed, and unfollowed tons of people."

"Oh? Did I make the cut?"

Daniel tutts as if Max is being purposefully dense.

"Naturally Maxy. In fact, I sort of debated unfollowing everyone except you, but then figured you might've been pissed at me."

Max can't tell if Daniel is joking or not. He doesn't know which he wants it to be.

"So firstly I unfollowed a bunch of people I had met years ago at business deals and stuff, and then Craig and Rebecca from school because I never really liked them anyway and they definitely never liked me and then Zak because the vibes were Not It and then my high-school teacher who I definitely only ended up following on a dare and -"

"Zak," Max says, picking out the familiar name in the sea of chatter. "As in Zak Brown?"

Daniel hums. "Yeah, the vibes were Not It. And then I also unfollowed Fernando -"

"Alonso?" Max splutters out another laugh of disbelief. "What on earth did he do to you?"

"I don't like how he acts around you."

"Me?!" Max voice goes up an octave. "What? But he's always nice to me Daniel. I like him."

"I know Max, that's the point," Daniel says, and before Max can even begin to comprehend what he means, he's continuing. "And then also Richard, from McLaren because I swear he used to tell Zak everything I did and then Michael, and then Sam, this old hookup, and -"

"Michael," Max cuts in, sure he's mistaken, "as in ..."

"Yeah," Daniel says after a beat. "That Michael."

Max swallows. Michael has been a constant strain on their relationship, the fly in the otherwise smooth ointment. Max had told Daniel he wasn't good for him, he wasn't looking after him. That friendship and business rarely mixed, and that in this case, it had congealed into something of neither, a strange, interdependent relationship which drained them both.

Daniel had said Max hadn't understood it, hadn't gotten how much Michael helped him, how good it was to have a physico who was also his mate. Max replied by saying that as far as he was concerned, Michael was proving himself to be neither.

Jealousy. That was what Daniel had pinned to him, had washed all rationality away with. Max was jealous.

He remembers feeling like he had been slapped. Jealousy. Fucking jealousy.

He never mentioned Michael again.

"But," Max begins slowly, mind whirling. "You had lunch with him last week." Even though you never mentioned it, even though I had to find out through fans' blurry photos.

"Yeah," Daniel draws the syllable out. "But... the vibes were not immaculate."

"Right," Max says, hating how terse the single word sounds. And the vibes were fine when he encouraged you to do that fucked up intermittent fasting? When he recommended yoga and gym sessions instead of therapy?

"And then I unfollowed Nicky Latifi, because unfortunately, he's going to do a masters in London, and following him online will simply remind me of all the missed possibilities I had in the academic world," he goes on.

"Daniel," Max says, trying to force his mind to move on, Daniel has unfollowed Michael Daniel has unfollowed Michael. "You dropped out of school when you were seventeen. In the most loving of ways, I would hardly call you an up and coming scholar."

"Details, Maxy," he says, but then goes quiet, and so does Max. He opens his eyes. His room is painted in shadows, sunrise still distant. The trophies he won as a child are carefully displayed in neat rows, their plaques opaque with dust, now thick and heavy. He remembers winning them, young and already starving for more, remembers the weight of plastic, the way sugary pop soda dried sticky on his skin.

"I think you were right," Daniel says softly. Max nods, face pressed against his pillow.

"I mean about him. Michael."

"I know who you meant," Max murmurs.

"Okay good, because you're definitely not write about my academic prowess, I was one hundred percent on track to be this world's Stephen Hawkens."

Max laughs softly. "It's Hawking not Hawken."

"Once again Maxy, details."

There's another exhale of quiet between them, and outside Max hears the world beginning to rise. Birds waking, their whistles winding their way through the crack in his window.

"I miss you," he says softly, as if the words are barely permitted to be spoken aloud.

"I love you too Maxy," Daniel replies with ease. Then - "you should come. I think it would be nice. If you were here too."

"I think so too," Max says. The longing grows. The trophies are dusty on his shelf, forgotten. His feet hang off his childhood bed. Birds begin to sing.

"So will you?" Daniel persists. Max squeezes his eyes shut.

"I don't know. I do not think you would be saying this if you weren't off your head on pain meds," he tries to joke. His chest aches. Hollowed out, always wanting more than he's allowed.

"Of course I would," Daniel says confidently, even though he ends it with a yawn. "I anyways want you around."

Max keeps his eyes still tightly shut. He tucks his knees up, bringing them to his chest. When he was very young and his parents were still together, he'd do this. Curl up on the bed with his eyes squeezed closed. The door shut, their shouts muffled; as distant as the bird song is to him now.

"Maxy?"

His sister said the same. Maxy? Climbing on his bed, tugging at his arms. What are they talking about? Nothing, nothing, it doesn't matter.

"How's your wrist?" Max asks. He opens his eyes - the room has grown lighter, dawn finally creeping in.

"Good," Daniel says, already forgotten what he said. Like a butterfly, moving onto the next topic, nothing permanent. "Sore. I'm on some strong shit though." He laughs. It sounds so near.

Max imagines it. He could do it. Book the ticket to Spain. It wouldn't even be that bad. People know him and Daniel are mates, and mates visit each other in hospital. And that's if it even comes out, which it might not. Nobody has to know.

"I love you," he blurts out, cheeks warm. Daniel laughs again, soft and delighted.

"Good, because my right hand is currently out of action, so I might need help over the next few weeks with a few particular things."

Max laughs, cheeks warm. He's not being quiet any more. His family can probably hear him through the walls, just like he could hear his parents all those years ago.

He can imagine his sister asking him, echoing their childhood as she questions him on words she's grasped through walls. This time, though, he thinks he will tell her the truth.

"I've heard Spain is very beautiful at the end of August," he says.

Daniel hums, "I've heard something similar, Maxy."

Outside, birds sing. The dawn continues on, filling the emptiness of night.

[jackie-gremlin-ghost]

Today marks 7 years since the reawakening of my Captain Underpants hyperfixation, which had been asleep for a very, very long time.

I had first discovered the books much like any kid in the late 90s/early 2000s; at the Scholastic Book Fair. If I remember correctly, the first one I had found was the second book, Attack of the Talking Toilets. I remember thinking how silly the cover looked, and it drew my little elementary school self in like a moth to flame.

I had quickly read it and absolutely loved it, and like discovering a new favorite treat for the first time, I immediately wanted more.

I was able to find the first book in my school’s library so I was able to get the full story on the two best friends who pulled the ultimate prank by hypnotizing their grouch of a school principal, and how it immediately became the worst decision they ever made.

And I loved every second of it.

As the years went on, I eagerly anticipated the Book Fair’s arrival at my school and would beg my mom for a few dollars extra, just so I get my hands on the newest adventure.

I devoured every single story I could find and bought as soon as I could, and each one was more entertaining than the last. From alien lunch ladies and zombie nerds, to a megalomaniac professor with an incredibly silly name in a giant robot with charts that you could use to give yourself a silly name (mine is “Poopsie Bananachunks” BTW), to an insane hypnotized woman with Medusa hair that gave atomic wedgies.

The more I read and reread these stories, the more I couldn’t help but think that it would make a pretty fun movie, or at least a tv show.

These stories had been with me through a lot of ups and downs in my life, the biggest being my parents’ divorce. They were there to remind me that even when times could be tough, you can make it through and still be able to laugh at even the silliest of things, no matter how old you got.

By the time I was 10, I got my hands on the latest book in the series, The Big Bad Battle of the Bionic Booger Boy Part 1. I loved it as always, but was shocked to see it ended on a cliffhanger. This had never happened before. I was anxious to see what would happen and how George and Harold would get out of this mess.

But… it would be some time before I got those answers.

Time went on, and my attention went to other things. I found new hyperfixations over the years, and while I didn’t have the 7th book at the time, I was eventually able to get answers thanks to the internet.

Eventually I entered middle school, and I found myself drawn to new book series that I grew to love, but Captain Underpants remained a big part of my childhood and some of its happiest memories. And for a while, I thought that was all it would be; memories to just fondly look back on.

But that all changed the winter of 2016.

It was the halfway point between Christmas and New Year’s, and I was gonna be 24 in less than a month. I was spending my downtime between holidays like any other bored 20-something year old; scrolling through Tumblr, of course. It was during that time that I stumbled across this post by @mondentertainment. It was photos of posters from a Licensing Expo, showcasing upcoming animated projects, be it films or series.

Among them were a few that sounded promising, others not so much.

But what caught my eye was this.

A poster from DreamWorks with a very familiar face on it.

I could barely believe what I was seeing, and from the comments and reblogs on the post, neither could a lot of other people.

It was like a door that had been long locked in the back of my brain finally burst open, and all those memories came flooding back, particularly of a reoccurring thought that ran through my young mind whenever I would look at those illustrations every time I turned the page.

Could it really be true? Was one of my favorite childhood books finally getting a chance to truly come to life on the big screen?

It had already happened once before after I read Coraline in middle school, so there might be a chance.

As you could probably imagine, I poured my thoughts of hope and excitement into the tags as I reblogged the post.

And when the trailer finally dropped three months later, it was like meeting that one childhood friend you never truly forgot all over again.

So much happened after seeing the movie on opening night, including meeting Dav Pilkey himself!

And all the great memories and friends I’ve made since rediscovering the fandom all lead back to that one moment on December 28th, 2016.

And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.

[door]

1! 6! 11! 25! 26! 33! 41! 42! 48! 52! 54! 69! hoo boy that's a lot. also how's 30s

hi! oh wow that is a lot. enjoy??? (for the 30s ask meme)

gonna answer the last thing first because honestly i've loved my 30s, and since i'm going into my final year of them it seems apt to reflect. i figured out i was queer like a month before i turned 30, so my 30s have been about queerness and community, about taking risks on things that previously i thought i were too old for. i moved cities and careers, i got a masters degree, i found sooooo much friendship and interests and hobbies and got every single one of my tattoos. i am more myself now than i have ever been before. i used to joke that i had been waiting my whole life to turn 30, but i think that was true actually. getting older rules.

What was the first piece of furniture you bought?

off with a BANG. i think it was probably a knock-off saarinen tulip table i got from craigslist when i was in grad school the first time, long long ago. i think the guy had found the base (which may in fact be genuine) and he built a wooden top for it. it's lovely and i think i paid $100 for it. we don't have room for it in the current house (it's dining room sized, about 5 ft across), so it's hiding in my aunt's basement for now.

6. Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed?

this wasn't actually one of mine, but my parents' dog punkin. the first and only thing i won at auction was a poster for the 1976 50th anniversary of the 1925 exposition des artes decoratifs (which cemented the art deco style and later contributed its name), and punkin ate it. i can still barely talk about it. looked like this:

11. What’s something you saved up for and then regretted buying?

weirdly the first thing i think of is an inflatable chair i got from kb toys in the mall when i was a kid. i thought that thing was going to change my life. it didn't. i cried. my mom helped me return it.

25. Favorite old person activity?

playing solitaire with real cards. when i was a kid, while the rest of us were rolling in the sand and getting our teeth knocked out by waves at the beach, my grandma would sit inside and play solitaire. one year i joined her. she taught me SO many varieties of solitaire and i remember em all.

26. Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers?

i don't drink alcohol so sweet tea gets my vote. lake vs porch really depends on the breeze situation, but most likely lake. i love a body of water.

33. What’s something you collect?

edward gorey books, including paperbacks he did covers for. also linda ronstadt records

41. What’s the oldest thing you own?

i don't know! i have a lot of old furniture i inherited or found in thrift stores so i really don't know how old any of that is. it might be a ring that belonged to my great-grandmother. it probably dates to the mid-19th century.

42. What’s an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?

a roomba! which is unjustifiable in part because of the weirdness of our house. but how will we know until we try it!

also: this coffee grinder (unjustifiable because we have a perfectly good one already but this one is red) and this milk pan.

48. If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?

A CONSERVATORY!!! i want a glasshouse i want to fill it with plants and enjoy the OUTSIDE while INSIDE. that's the dream.

but also like. so many secret passages.

52. Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them?

i think it got worse, actually.

54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

i decorate the yard for halloween (full graveyard babey), but any spooky decorations that go up inside the house usually become permanent. we don't have room for anything more than stockings in the current house, but i put christmas lights up on the porch and around a doorway inside.

69. What are you looking forward to next week?

my paycheck lol

[iznsfw]

extra chapter for the final, like 12 members come together and celebrate Christmas together in a cafe or something with background music from Hyewon song winter poem~

Home for Christmas

IZ*ONE

2,615 words

Categories | happy times no angst this time, slight NSFW jokes, a fandom inside joke now and then

Something short, soft and fluffy to end the year ❤ I tried to give each member their own spotlight/"screentime," so sorry if it's a bit messy!

Also very unedited lolz

Café? Booked. Food? Served. The girls?

Well... not here.

Eunbi's starting to get nervous. She's planned this for months, and they all agreed to go. But it's five minutes past the set time, and not one former member has showed up yet. The food would go to waste if they don't come, and her heart would be broken to pieces.

Eunbi's sure that she can't stand missing an opportunity to unite with them. The disbandment was one thing, but another opportunity being missed? After all the months she's been without them? No, she can't bear that.

Now that the holidays have rolled up, there's a lot of free time in their schedules to time a reunion. And today is the date they chose. But they're still nowhere to be found.

"Still not here, hon?" asks the man behind the counter, AKA the man Eunbi has looked up to as a second father ever since the day she worked in this café. He was kind enough to let her reserve the café just for IZ*ONE, saying he'd cook the meals and prepare the fanciest plates. Eunbi is eternally grateful to him for that, but she's afraid that all that would go to waste. Like he had asked, the members are still not here.

She shakes her head. "No," she says in a small voice.

He smiles at her tenderly. "They'll be here any second, Eunbi-ya, don't worry."

She appreciates everything he's done for her: plastering her posters and fansite photos all over the walls of the café, taking care of her, and helping her prepare this reunion. But she doesn't really believe in don't worry anymore. It's all she's ever been told to do, but it's easier said than done when her life is just so... busy. One wrong move can bring her and her efforts down the gutter. Even the considerably smaller things like these.

But what's so small about IZ*ONE? These girls do not fit the word when there are eleven of them, but in the metaphorical sense, they are Eunbi's home. They are her big, ridiculously and loveably rambunctious family she would give her life for. This reunion can look as small and unmeaningful to an outsider, something that can be brushed off like a leaf falling onto one's shoulder. But it isn't small to Eunbi. One wrong thing about it all will make her freak out.

Still, she nods. "Got it." Her hopes may be lost, but she wants to show at least a speck of self-assurance, even in front of the man to whom she's shown all her vulnerabilities to.

She looks up to say something to him. Probably a word of thanks, since he deserves to hear every appreciation in the world after what he's done for her. But his eyes are somewhere else, somewhere behind her. It unsettles her so much that she turns around to see for herself what it is.

"Boo!"

Kang Hyewon, always the prankster. One would expect grace from such a pretty woman, but Hyewon breaks those expectations, just like she almost does to Eunbi's shoulders as she seizes them.

Eunbi's heart freezes and relaxes in the same second. "Hyewon!" she says annoyedly. "It's Christmas, not Halloween!"

"No 'hi' from my pretty unnie or anything?" Hyewon asks, pouting. She knows acting cute can buy her an escape route out of anything bad when it's with Eunbi, and of course, she uses it to her advantage.

"Stop acting like that in front of oppa!" Eunbi rolls her eyes and blushes as the café owner laughs at them, but wraps her arms around the girl anyway. She missed her too much to be more annoyed. Far too much.

Hyewon accepts that there will be no "hi" from her unnie because she gets a hug to make up for it. She loves Eunbi's hugs, and how tiny the leader feels in her arms. They bring her a sense of comfort. Going without the hugs especially since she and Eunbi were roommates during IZ*ONE days has been particularly difficult.

"I brought guests," Hyewon says cheekily.

Eunbi cocks her head to the side with a question written on her face. But there is her answer, standing in the doorway: her girls.

"Unnie, hiii! " Minju yells out in an uncharacteristically loud voice. Her adorable grin melts Eunbi's heart. Minju possesses the smile of a younger boy's first love. It's no wonder that her fans look like they're about to pass put whenever she approaches them. "Long time no—"

"Wow, you really didn't greet Hyew-unnie at all?" Yuri asks with mock distaste. Trust her to always find a way to spark a fight with Minju. Her hair is no longer red—it's become jet black, cut short at her shoulders. "You're so impolite, Minju."

"Hey! I didn't mean it like that! Plus, we already met—"

"Ohhh, stop it, you guys," says Yena. Normally she'd join in the fight to get Minju even more worked up, but it seems that the cheeky duck went through character development over the past few months. She slaps her stomach in emphasis. "Let's just get in, shall we? I'm starving!"

Yujin nods. "So am I!"

"And me!" Chaewon says. Her bob cut is stunning. Hitomi's twirling the short strands of black as she speaks.

"Well then let's just get in!" Wonyoung speaks for all of them with a tone of authority. As usual, she's dressed in impeccable clothes. Her fashion taste has evolved as she grew up into the woman she is now. She's gotten thinner, though, Eunbi has noticed worriedly. She makes a mental note to coax her more food later.

But at this moment, all Eunbi can think about is how happy she is. Everyone had shown up just when her hopes were fading. Everyone looks happy. That's all that matters to her.

-

Heaping bowls of white rice and fried rice top the tables. The café owner sets them along with variations of fish and chicken. Traditional and modern food blend together on the plates. The scent alone makes Wonyoung full. Hyewon, however, doesn't mind eating up even the leftovers.

"Oppa makes the best tteokbeoki!" Eunbi boasts to all of them. She hands Nako some utensils, and the small woman immediately gets the hint to pass them all to the others. "Once you eat some, you'll never want to stop."

"Don't flatter me, Eunbi," he laughs with a shake of his head. He gives Wonyoung a drink and hands Sakura a napkin. He starts to scoop delicious food onto the round plates.

Sakura looks up at him with a blinding smile. "I'll have to try it out for myself to decide."

"Please do," he says graciously. "It's not everyday we get to have Miyawaki Sakura herself over for Christmas."

Sakura is a star wherever she goes. The main attraction in IZ*ONE maintains her spotlight in Lesserafim, only this time there are more eyes on her. But she's still humble in real life, when the cameras cut and the curtains are drawn.

"What do you call me then, oppa?" Eunbi complains. "I literally worked here!"

"Or me?" says Yena. She has the Choi Yena look on her face right now: drawn eyebrows, wide eyes, and a pair of plump lips open to let out her fighting spirit. "You know Smiley, right? 'Push, swipe—"

"Wrong song, that's Smartphone!" Yujin cackles, almost pushing Wonyoung over due to her laughs. The youngest is laughing, too, but at a calmer level. Or maybe it just looks that way since Yujin is just relentless when she's in a state of joy.

"Can't even get her own song right," Nako teases.

"Hey, fuck you—"

"Want a drink, Nyeong?"

Wonyoung raises a glass of sizzling soda. Chaewon watches the bubbles rise to the surface observantly, seemingly spacing out again. "Already have one."

"No, I mean, like a drink drink." Nako points to the bottle of beer at the center of the table. "You're nineteen now. You don't want to try?"

"Nako," Eunbi says warningly. Wonyoung may have turned of age, but she was still a baby in her eyes. There's no way in hell she's going to let her drink so early.

"Come on, Minju took Yujin out for drinks when she turned nineteen," reasons Nako with an innocent shrug.

"Ya! I told you not to tell Eunbi unnie that!" Minju protests.

"I trusted you, unnie!" Yujin moans, covering her face in embarrassment.

"Eunbi unnie has been drinking, she won't mind," Hitomi makes a clever reference to an old inside joke that even the fans know.

Chaeyeon cackles. Her hand finds the perfect victim to channel her happiness: the wooden table. Each reverbating slap causes the surface to shudder. "It's true, she has," she confirms for everyone's convenience. "She's been sending me drunk texts, like 'ohhh Jjaeyeonie! I miss Sakura so much! She—'"

"Ya—"

"—'I wish I didn't leave her hanging—'"

"—shut up, Chaeyeon, you're just jealous!"

"Jealous? There's nothing to get jealous over with Kkura, it was a one-night fling!"

"No one said it was related to— wait, you and Sakura had a fling?!"

"Okay, maybe we did get into a relationship," admits Chaeyeon. There's no reason to hide it now; everyone at the table is listening to her attentively. "Maybe we did try to fuck during Fiesta, but that's all in the past now."

"Hey, Wonyoung and Yujin are listening!" scolds Sakura. Her face is beet red, too. All her secrets are poured out in the open on what is supposed to be a happy reunion night. "Keep it PG-13 here."

"I'm not thirteen anymore, unnie!" Wonyoung whines. Everyone in her former group seems to forget that fact about her: she's not a child anymore. She can see why they won't loosen their grasp on her childhood days, however. She's practically grown up in front of their eyes. In addition to that, she was quite young when she joined Produce 48.

The only one to treat her like an actual adult is Hyunseo, her new group Ive's maknae. Everyone here just marvels at Wonyoung's maturity as if she didn't have cameras in her face since she was a kid.

Still, as Yena hugs her comfortingly and pats her cheek, Wonyoung decides that she doesn't mind their babying at all. Her eleven older unnies are unhinged, wild, and ruthless, but they're still her unnies. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

Yujin has had less of the baby persona haunting her now that she's the leader of Ive. Sometimes Wonyoung becomes wistful for the old Yujin, who played around and joked with her. But that doesn't mean that the puppy Ahn Yujin has completely gone away. She sees it when Yujin's dimples show as she laughs and smiles, when she leans over to rest her head on Wonyoung's shoulder, when she still struggles with her shoelaces.

You can say that she's just a little bit in love.

"Right," Sakura says, breaking Wonyoung's train(wreck) of thoughts. Her former fellow center reaches over to pat her hand. "I'm sorry, Wonyoung-ah."

"It's okay, unnie," responds Wonyoung. It's totally fine—she truly cherishes moments like these where little unintended slip-ups lead to the loudest of laughs. Everything is so serious nowadays.

"Do you still want to drink?" Nako asks hopefully.

"Nako-ya," asks Chaewon, suspicious because of Nako's repeated inquiries for a drinking partner, "are you drunk?"

"Who are you, Hitomi?"

"Hey, that's my line!" Hyewon protests. She's already had numerous lines retracted from her during IZ*ONE. She's not about to let anyone steal her one-liners as well.

"What do you mean? I said that," Hitomi says. Hyewon notices that, like her, she eats little. She only took three large bites and drank the blue lemonade.

"I know, Hiichan. I was talking about the message I sent on Bubble."

"Ohhh, now I get it."

"You're subscribed to my Bubble?" Hyewon asks in surprise.

"I'm subscribed to everyone!"

"Stalker much?" Yuri asks snarkily. She loves being a bratty snark with everyone, even to her own members. Oh, especially to them. It tips Eunbi off so much it's actually delightful to see.

"Jo Yuri, you brat," sighs Yena, shaking her head. Was this the girl she swore to marry?

Yuri throws her a playful wink. She is.

Eunbi's processing it all. She's been quiet for some time to take it all in. Sakura and Chaeyeon being... what, friends with benefits without her knowing? Minju taking Yujin out for drinks? She has no idea if she should start her lecturing now. But one day, she'll get used to the chaos IZ*ONE brings. Maybe one day.

In a parallel universe.

Where everything goes right.

Um da da da da da da da da... /

A familiar voice and a familiar tune. God, this day just likes to attack her with an onslaught of memories, huh? But the song speaks of a more recent event, some time after the disbandment.

She looks across the table. Her eyes and Hyewon's connect. Of course! It's Hyewon's song being played in the background! Who else can perfect the smooth, silky tone of voice like her?

Hyewon is embarrassed. She hides her face with her hand as all the members ooh and ahh over her and the song. "Ahhh, oppa, you didn't have to do that!" she says shyly.

He grins. "I had to. I'm a big fan of the song."

"Can you play Antifragile next?" Chaewon asks boldly. Chaeyeon is surprised at her straightforwardness, but the café owner doesn't look like he's fazed by it.

"Sure, no problem."

Chaewon squeals happily and reaches over the table to give Sakura a high-five. They personally dislike the song, but any promotion is good promotion.

She and Sakura have also gotten a lot closer before the redebut. Destiny always seems to find a way to tie their fates together. It was as if it were telling them to make up for the time they didn't talk much during IZ*ONE days. Imagine their surprise when Yunjin showed up at the practice room!

The universe always finds a way to bring the twelve of them together. Whether by chance or plan, they are drawn to each other like magnets. Sakura and Chaewon's redebut together, as mentioned earlier, speaks for itself. Yena, Yuri, Chaeyeon, and Eunbi are in the same field as soloists and meet occasionally at music shows. Hyewon and Minju reunited for a Prada event, and are both actresses. Hitomi and Nako are inseparable as J-pop idols. Wonyoung and Yujin made a second debut in Ive together, as they always are.

And now, with Hyewon's Christmas song accompanying their smiles, they've bumped into each other again. It's happened before countless of times, so who's to say there isn't an official reunion song up ahead? If Starship eventually becomes more lenient, and time grants them all a passageway, the chances aren't zero.

There's already contentedness in their hearts, though, as each member talks about their experiences over a large dinner, in the place where it all started for their leader. Yujin talks about missing Azzo, and her nights in Paris are all about what Wonyoung drones on about. Eunbi, of course, says how much she misses them all. Yuri and Yena become feisty again, but it hides not their true feelings of homesickness for this environment that used to be a usual, everyday thing.

Even the singing Hyewon that adds flavor to their conversations and plays from the radio knows:

I've been dreaming of today like a present like today /

Confession in December that couldn't be hidden.

With you, with you, na /

My best part is all for you /

My best part is all for you.

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

Patrick Dempsey Is (Finally!) PEOPLE's 2023 Sexiest Man Alive: 'I've Always Been the Bridesmaid!' He Jokes

"I'm glad it's happening at this point in my life," says the 'Ferrari' actor. "It’s nice to have the recognition, but gives me the platform to use it for something positive."

By Julie Jordan Updated on November 8, 2023 07:12AM EST

It’s been almost two decades since Patrick Dempsey sauntered onto the small screen as neurosurgeon Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd on ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy (even longer since his breakthrough role as an endearing outcast in 1987’s Can’t Buy Me Love).

His heartthrob status created such a fan frenzy that he graced the pages of this very issue countless times over the years. Now he’s taking home the Sexiest Man Alive crown.

“I’m glad it’s happening at this point in my life,” the Maine native, 57, tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “It’s nice to have the recognition, and certainly my ego takes a little bump, but it gives me the platform to use it for something positive.”

Closest to his heart is the Dempsey Center, which he founded in honor of his late mom to support cancer patients and their loved ones.

Other passions include being a family man to wife Jillian, 57, a makeup artist and founder of her own clean beauty line, and their kids Talula, 21, and 16-year-old twins Sullivan and Darby, as well as honing his penchant for race-car driving.

So what went through his mind when he first heard the news? “I was completely shocked, and then I started laughing, like, this is a joke, right? I’ve always been the bridesmaid!” he says, laughing.

“I’d completely forgotten about it and never even contemplated being in this position. So my ego is good.”

As for how his kids will respond, Dempsey insists they’re “just going to make fun of me and pick on me and figure out every reason why I shouldn’t be,” he says. “Which is good, they keep me young.”

In December he'll show off his racing skills in the Michael Mann–directed biopic Ferrari (which received an interim agreement from SAG-AFTRA amid the actors' strike), playing Italian driver Piero Taruffi. The film taught him a lesson in risk-taking — but off the track.

“I’d been following the movie for years, so I called Michael and said, ‘I want to discuss being a part of this,’ ” Dempsey recalls. “That taught me if you really want something, you have to do it yourself.”

Now the actor is learning that good things really do come to those who wait.

“I’ve got the bumper stickers, T-shirts, posters,” he jokes of his new title. Does this mean he’s peaked? “I peaked many years ago,” he says, laughing. “But I’m still here.”

Ferrari is in theaters Christmas Day. For more information on the Dempsey Center, visit dempseycenter.org.

📸 Carter Smith § carterbedloesmith

Dr McDreamy - Finally right decision, He gets better with age, well deserved! ☺️

[aliypop]

Anyway You Do Chapter 4

Word Count: 2,765

Writers Note: I didn't expect to make this a series, to be honest

Warning: None

Pairing: OC x Elvis

Plot: What happens when love, at first sight, becomes fate.

Taglist:

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@sissylittlefeather

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

Memphis Tennessee. October 1959

Cecelia ran upstairs to her old room,

"I'll talk to her," Midge sighed. Cecelia was lying on her old bed. The remaining posters of Frank Sinatra on her walls, the signed Dean Martin one from New York, and her Elvis Record Collection, "Cece... can I come in..." Midge asked as Cecelia grumbled, the song Heartbreak Hotel fading out into the distance. "Oh my God, we're not doing this..." She heard her rewind the record. The last time this happened was the night at Russwood, and before that, the Florida fair when she finally left, and he was hugging another girl. 

"Well, since my Elivs left me... BRAWM BRAWM!" Cecelia sang, "I have nowhere to dwell, BRAWM BRAWM!" Cecelia shouted into her pillow, "It's right at the end of Lonely Street and-" Midge walked in as she saw Cecelia with her guitar, sobbing lyrics like a madman. 

"You're obsessed with him..." Midge laughed. 

"I'm not obsessed. I'm in love with him, Midge..." she sighed, "My heart aches when he's away... and I..." Cecelia began to get frustrated trying to find the words. It had been a while since Midge was in her twenties and in love, 

"I never met anyone like him."

"Cece, you've met plenty of men like him, "

"No, I haven't. Those actors and heartthrobs aren't the same. When I'm with Elvis, I feel home..." she smiled, "It feels like home... Like I can do anything with him." She smiled, " Last year, I was having dinner with his family. We just sat there and had a conversation with just our facial expressions until his mother told us to stop." She giggled, thinking about it as Midge listened. 

"What else, kid..." 

"We talked one time for so long when we said good night, it was morning," 

"So why are you so down then..."

"I know... he and I could never be..." she sighed, "Face it, the world would eat us up alive... You wouldn't get it, Midge..." 

"Oh, sure, the woman who got married in San Fran doesn't understand..." 

"I owe Richard 10 bucks..."

"You two bet..."

"Not the point, Midge... "

"Well, if you love him all that much, tell him,"

"Tell him he gives you fever like Peggy Lee once said..."

"He definitely gives me fever..." she bit her lip as Midge laughed, 

"When he dances... Boom, I'm pregnant, Midge, really I am." Midge laughed as Cecelia laughed. "Look, If I weren't in my thirties and married to Cheryl, who I love... One night with him...mmm-" Cecelia hit her with a pillow.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Midge threw a pillow back at her as Cecelia fell over. 

"Now, why do you really think you two couldn't be together and don't avoid it this time?"

Cecelia took a deep breath, looking at the picture on her dresser,

"I should uh get going. I have a flight soon..."

January 7th 1960

Dear Cecelia,

I hope you like the fur coat I sent you. I know it's not much of a birthday gift, but I wanted to give my best girl something. Hopefully, it matches the earrings I got you from France for Christmas. I know it's been hard trying to keep up with dates by a piece of paper, but they're saying pretty soon I'll be back, and I can take you on as many dates as I owe you. 

I also forgot to mention I heard your Christmas record. You sang the hell out of Blue Christmas. It made me wonder, were you thinking of me? 

January 8th 1960

My Dearest, Elvis 

By the time you've read this, it should be your birthday. I did enjoy the coat. It was perfect, though you didn't need to get me anything. Hearing from you is always enough. But! I hope you received the new guitar I got you. I know it's not much, but it's custom-made. 

A few friends of yours told me what to get you. 

And yes, to answer your question, I was thinking about you. I always am. My mother the other day was thinking of you, too. But that doesn't matter. I want to tell you everything whenever you return if you ever return.

          With love,

                         Cecelia S Valmos

Graceland March 7th 1960

"Vernon... Why'd you call us here..." Denise asked as Midge looked at the fleet of fans at the gate. Was she willing to allow Cecelia to endure that every day? 

"I got word in that. Elv-" Cecelia walked by, straightening things up, "We only have 15 days until he arrives!" she smirked. Denise then rolled her eyes, 

" As you were saying, Vernon..." 

"Elvi-" 

"Midge, could you help me pick out what I'll wear when he returns..." Midge nodded, "The dress you have on now is fine. The pencil skirt suit is perfect." She smiled as Cecelia shrugged. Denise only scratched her head, wondering how she even got here. 

"I was saying E-"

 Cecelia gasped, seeing the limo outside. She wondered if it was a guest that no one told her about. Peaking from the door, she saw the top half of a uniform come out as she screamed,

 "ELVIS IS BACK!!!"

"Cecelia Shanel Valmos calm!" Cecelia was out the door and hugging him.

 "Down..."

"I was trying to tell you." 

"Cecelia!" he smiled as he kissed her forehead, the press. And the camera's trying to follow him. He then looked at her outfit as he bit his bottom lip, "Sergeant Presley," she saluted as he laughed. Her eyes were burning with a lusty look that he couldn't ignore. His leather gloves were still on his hands. There were those thoughts she had racing in her mind. 

"What'cha lookin at, doll?"

"Mhmm me nothing..." she took his hand and guided him into the house,

"No hello for me..."

"Tom..." Denise spat out. Her heels clicked back into the house.

Elvis picked Cecelia up bridal style as he kissed her nose, "I got so many stories to share." they said in unison, laughing. 

Sitting at the dinner table, Cecelia sat next to Elvis as he talked about his stories in the military, some she had heard about during his arrival interview. 

"So there was this girl..." and the empty pit of her stomach dropped again. She was already feeling nauseous as he started the sentence. Midge could tell, and so could Denise, who didn't want to say I told you so just yet, "She was a pretty thing, funny too; her father was in the Air Force, and she'd give me advice on this beautiful woman back home." he smirked as Cecelia nodded. 

"What is this woman like?" Denise asked,

"Yeah, what's she like..." Vernon asked, looking over at Cecelia, who appeared to get sicker by the second. "Oh, she's a beautiful woman, got a smile that makes the sunshine seem dim." he laughed, "And when she sings..." 

"I'm feeling a bit tired... I think I'll rest for the evening." Cecelia said, trying not to cry. Cecelia stood up and went outside, sitting under a tree. It was brisk, but she'd managed. For once, she thought she'd find someone who wouldn't have left or replaced her. 

"Well, don't just stand there, Mr. Presley, go after her..." Denise said in a demanding tone. Elvis ran after her as Midge laughed, "I feel like I'm watching one of his movies with Cece..." she joked as the tension of suspense between the two parents was thick. 

"Cecelia, there you are..." Elvis smiled. Sitting next to her. She wouldn't look at him, "Cece... If I did something or..."

"Did our letters mean anything..."

"Doll..."

"Did they mean anything!" she looked at him, her eyes glassy with tears, "Maybe my mother was right..." she laughed, "Right about what..." 

"You would hurt me... just like he did." 

"Like who? Cece, you're scaring me." 

"My father." she sighed, the hole in her heart opened wide as she said it. 

"Sometimes, I can still see him leaving from the doorstep."

Raleigh, North Carolina, June 10th 1941

Are you lonesome tonight?

Fireflies flew around the porch of a white house. Sitting on the porch swing was a six-year-old brown-skinned girl. She'd been out there for what was almost a week. Tears streaming down her face as she held onto her Mickey Mouse toy. It was always her favorite because he gave her that toy.  

Do you miss me tonight?

The sun was gone, and the only thing she would do was sit there and wait. "You've gotta eat something pumpkin." her mother sitting next to her as she petted her hair, 

"I want him to come back..." the little girl had tears in her eyes. "I'm afraid he's not going to." She noticed her mother's wedding ring was gone from her finger. 

Are you sorry we drifted apart?

It had been two weeks now. Another night of her crying, he had stopped writing her letters and giving her empty promises he couldn't keep. "We'll be okay..." she smiled, "I'll fix it... We'll move to somewhere nice, and I'll record again. You'll never have to hurt again."

"I want daddy back..." she cried harder.

"CECELIA HE'S NOT COMING BACK!" Denise shouted as her daughter cried harder, "HE'S GONE, HE LEFT, HE DOESN'T LOVE US ANYMORE!"

Does your memory stray to a bright summer day

When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?

Graceland March 7th 1960

"I just... I don't want to be that little girl again crying..." she sighed, "So tell me if you love me or another," Elvis then looked at her, his finger under her chin as he pulled her face closer to him, "Well doll, if you hadn't run out, I was gonna..." looking into his pockets he tried to feel around for a box, "Well... you were gonna what..." he kept looking for the box, "God damn it... Shit, I think I lost it..." he groaned, 

"You lost what..."

"Hey, what's this little box doing in the chair..." Midgie said, picking it up as Denise took it from her and opened it,

 "Vernon, it's a ring..." 

"A ring?" 

"A ring!"

"Shit, everyone scatter and and find him!"

"Darlin, I was gonna ask you something." he smiled, taking her hand, "I guess I can still ask it, but uh, I have never been so sure and so damn nervous about something." he took a deep breath. 

"Spit it out!" Cecelia laughed, looking into his eyes. 

"Darlin, I want you in my life forever. And-"

" I FOUND THEM. SHE SAYS YES!!!"

"Mother, what are you on about..." Cecelia stood up. Attention turned to face everyone at the doorstep. Standing there on bended knee was,

 "Elvis, are you..." Midge ran as she handed him the ring,

"I'm tryin to." he laughed as she nearly tackled him and kissed him, 

"Is that a yes?"

"Does Little Richard wear eyeliner." she joked as he picked her up. 

"She said yes!" 

"I've got to tell, Colonel..." 

"I'd keep that secret to him." Denise smiled, "I'd keep it a secret until the wedding; It'd be safe for you both." she mentioned as Cecelia sighed, 

"We'll try to keep it a secret,"

"Cecelia..." Denise glanced at her daughter.

"Don't worry, we got this..."

Fontainebleau Hotel Florida March 26th, 1960

"Remember Cecelia, smile." Cecelia nodded, walking down in a black low-cut sweetheart pencil dress with Dior gloves. Cecelia's hair slicked back into a bun full of pin curls."You look so beautiful, Cece." Midge smiled, "Thanks, I'm nervous, singing a jazz song on a show I only know a little about..." her eyes averted to Elvis as he walked by in his suit, "Hey, Mama, you're..." looking at her dress he couldn't help but stare at her beauty, "Hands are shakin."

"I'm a little nervous, darlin." Elvis said as she kissed his hands, "You'll be fine... I know it's been two years, but if you get nervous, know I'm rootin' you on." 

"Ms. Valmos, you're on." Cecelia nodded, "Wish me luck." Cecelia was hired as a last-minute solution to the show, but the people of Miami still seemed to love her,  

"So you didn't tell her whose show it was," Midge smirked, 

"Nope, I wanted it to be a surprise," Denise smiled, 

"I never thought I'd hear her sing jazz..." Midge laughed,

"It's in her blood." Denise watched. On the other side of the stage was the Colonel and Elvis, who had the most love-sick grin on his face. It was as if he was watching her perform for the first time, and in all honesty, he was. It was like Elvis had those same butterflies he felt the night at the carnival. When she finished performing, she passed him as he looked her way.

"Focus, you and Sinatra go on next."

Cecelia turned to see Frank Sinatra walk past her, her heart nearly fluttering. Denise could see the whole interaction happening on the other side of the stage as she chuckled, 

Cecelia was in a dream. She had to be to witness both Elvis and Frank on a stage singing. Never in her 26 years of being alive would she have ever thought to see this happen.

 When filming wrapped, Elvis walked over to Denise, who was looking at Cecelia, who was looking at Frank Sinatra. "Anyone seen Cece?" he asked, hands still shaky. 

"Swooning over swoonatra." Midge laughed, 

"I see..." he sighed as Denise heard the jealous tone in his voice, "Ah...ah... Green is not your color, dear." She smirked, "Think of it as a schoolgirl crush. After all, she's engaged to you." Denise mentioned, 

"If you really wanna woo her, introduce her to him. He's like her childhood crush."

"Fine, but I doubt I'm gonna like what happens next."

"Hey, doll..."

"Hey, honeypie." Cecelia smiled, "You were amazing up there."

"Me...Please now you, you were breathtaking." he smiled, "But speakin' of that... How'd you like to meet Mr. Blue Eyes himself." 

"El, you wouldn't... " she gasped, "He's like my childhood crush!" she grinned, 

"Then, of course, you came along an-" 

"Presley!" Frank Sinatra smiled, "Welcome back."

"Thank you, sir. Uh, have you met Cecelia Valmos?" 

"No, Denise's little girl!" Frank Sinatra smiled, "You've grown up to be a beautiful young lady." he winked as Cecelia turned bright red, 

"Th-Thank you." 

"You know if you two aren't together. Then you should, You two make a cute couple, after all." He winked, and Frank took her hand as he kissed it, "Ms. Valmos, Presley." Cecelia froze as Elvis and Frank laughed, 

"I still got it, Denise. Thanks again for the favor." 

"Are we that obvious?" Elvis asked as Cecelia looked at him,

"Well... there were those instances back in the '50s." she laughed, giving him a quick peck.

"I guess you're right."

Memphis, Tennessee, April, 1960

The sweet sounds of the violin came from the recording studio as Cecelia played, "Rock N Roll and Violin?" Midge said from the other side of the booth, 

"It's for a movie, Midge." She took a deep breath, "Movies, you're doing movies again..." Midge chuckled, 

"Yes, I'm working on a soundtrack first, but it's a romance about a showgirl, who falls in love with this lounge singer... and he's from a dangerous crime family and-"

"Elvis is the love interest..." Midge playfully asked,

"If I can pitch it to a studio, and they take interest." she smiled, 

"Honey, it's 1960..."

"Exactly, times are changing." Cecelia smiled, "And besides, I'm tired of hiding that I'm with my babydoll..." she grumbled, "Of course, we've been planning the wedding and whatnot." She grinned, 

" I want the world to know Midge."

"The world to know what Darlin." Elvis walked into the recording booth. 

"That I'm in love with you." She kissed him. Elvis kissed her back as he held her close to him.

 "What brings you by Mr. Presley..." 

"Hello to you too, Midge." he laughed, 

"Well, I have news."

"Tell me." 

"I'm filming another movie in Hollywood," he smiled as Midge laughed, "Oh God, this is great. I can finally stop watching King Creole!" 

"Don't mind her El," Cecelia smiled,

"Well, I won't, but I was wondering if you'd come to Hollywood with me. I know you've been workin on something, and maybe this could be your chance." He smiled at her.

"How did you know?"

"You left the script on the table... and I read it, well, I couldn't put it down." he grinned, 

"Oh, El..." she blushed hard, "It's true,I think you've got somethin good, and I wanna support your dream the best I can."

"You already are by marrying me."

[hchollym]

Hi. Fanfiction anon here

(Sorry this might be a long one)

So, as we’ve already established, Percy’s personality and actions are because of or influenced by his family. So the basic premise is, what if he was raised by someone else?

One day, when Percy’s still pretty young so he wouldn’t remember much (say like say like 3-4 or something) Percy’s in a safe house and he’s getting pretty antsy being cooped up for so long. He’s not as fixed on rules yet so he decides it wouldn’t be a big deal if one night, when everyone is asleep, sneak outside to just stretch his legs, ya know. He would go far just stand out in the garden for a bit. So he does.

He’s outside just chilling when one of two things happen (I haven’t decided which would be more likely yet) he see’s something in the woods and decides to follow it, or gets scared of something and, in a blind panic, accidentally runs into the woods. No matter how it happens, he ends up in the woods.

After some mindless wandering, he eventually trips over a large tree branch (cliche I know but I couldn’t think of literally anything else) and rolls down a small hill or something and hits his head pretty hard. He passes out for a while and wakes up in the morning with no memory of anything. (He probably writes his name (just the first) on his clothes tags so he remembers that at least)

He wanders around for a bit before finding a path which leads him to a muggle town. He asks some people for help, which they try to but since he can’t remember literally anything it’s pretty difficult.

I can’t decide whether to have someone take him to the police which lands him in and orphanage/foster care before finally getting adopted or to have him be picked up by someone who decides to take him in because, hey… a small kid with no memory and very clearly in need of help? Who would just leave him?

Either way he gets adopted into some random muggle family. Probably at least with one child minimum and three maximum, and maybe some lgbtq parents. (No reason just think it’d be nice)

The Weasley’s haven’t reported him missing because:

It’s the middle of the war and people have already assumed the worst

They don’t have the knowledge of missing people posters or anything so they just let people know and hope he turns up

They don’t think to check any muggle villages or ask any muggles if they’ve seen anything

Again, it’s the middle of the war so they don’t have the time or the resources to go look for him so they just leave it. If he shows up he shows up, if not, well…

The night he left was the night his safe house was raided and everyone was killed. They assumed he just got caught in it

Either way, his disappearance is not reported and nothing of him ever comes up.

He grows up with the family that took him in and it’s completely different from how he would have been raided with the Weasley’s.

This family is pretty wealthy. Not Malfoy rich or anything, but wealthy enough to keep the fridge and cupboards fully stocked with lots of stuff, able to go on out of country holidays each year and get absolutely spoiled on birthdays and Christmas’

They’re muggles with absolutely no idea of wizards or witches, so Percy grows up with no knowledge of magic, Hogwarts or even the Ministry

Again, they’re muggles. So he’d interact with a lot of muggle stuff that he never would have had he been raised with the Weasley’s. For example, he’d go to places like aquariums/zoos and museums (I don’t think the wizarding community has those), he’d have access to TV, video games and (depending if we want to keep this set in the 1900’s like in cannon or modernise it to like 2010’s or something) video games and the internet. He’d have access to a lot of cartoons, movies and probably comics/fiction books

He’s also more likely to get a pet (nothing special I just think it’s be cool)

Less children. Instead of growing up with 6, he would only have 1-3 siblings. He’d be the baby if the family and the others would all be at least a year or so older than him. (I was thinking an older sister who’s a year older than him and an older brother who’s 4 or 5 years older). He’d have to compete less for his parents love and affection, he’s more likely to be included in their lives, and a lot less bullying and teasing (of course there would still be the normal sibling fights, but it’s just be a normal amount and nobody would take it too far) He’s also probably get along with them better (depending on how you characterise them)

His adopted parent(s) would be extremely loving and supportive, so he wouldn’t have those high expectations or the constant neglect of his feelings and interests

Ties in with the money thing, but his parents have pretty good paying jobs so he wouldn’t have anything to resent them for

He’s autistic (big head cannon of mine) so he’d probably have a lot more help with that (again not super relevant or anything but I think it’s cool)

He’d be socialised with others more, since again, it’s a muggle family. He’d probably go to parks and play with the kids there. The parents have friends who have kids. His siblings have friends who they’d probably bring round. Also there’s a very high chance that he’d go to a primary school before he goes to Hogwarts, so he’d have a different knowledge set and (I assume) Hogwarts doesn’t have any classes like art, music, drama stuff like that, so he’d be more able to access his ‘creativeness’ or something (idk). He’s also take PE so he’d probably be a lot more fitter and active then he would have been (do you think he’d take any clubs like the swim team or drama club or something?)

He’d also have more chances and opportunities at making friends because of school and actually being around people

No offence to the wizarding world, but I feel like the muggles would have more culture (I think that’s the right word for this) more foods, different architecture, sports, music, clothes, even hairstyles. Cause to be honest the Wizarding world just looks like Victorian London and the clothes are typically just robes on different colours and patterns

(That’s all I got for now :P)

Anyways he grows up with this family. A completely different upbringing and a completely different life. Probably a completely different personality and behaviour as well (or at least very noticeably changed). He’s less formal and strict, a lot more outgoing and probably more physical as well (like play fighting when he’s young and giving hugs and kisses to his loved ones. Also a lot less focused on the rules. Like here’ll follow them and respect them, but he wouldn’t get on others for it. If they get in trouble for breaking the rules it’s not his fault.

His 11th birthday comes up and he’s accepted into Hogwarts. His family are extremely happy and supportive. Since his personality and views have changed, I feel like his house would have as well, maybe a Slytherin but I feel like Hufflepuff could work as well. To be honest, in this scenario, I feel like Ravenclaw would be the least likely option.

Anyways he’s at Hogwarts, he get sorted into his house, he befriends either Oliver, Marcus or Penny (depending what house he’s in) and everything seems pretty normal.

Bill and Charlie don’t really pay much attention to the first year sortings but there’s something very familiar about a certain red head.

The year goes on and Percy’s thriving. New things to discover and whole new world and culture to learn about. I feel like his logic would have carried through so even though he himself is a wizard, he’d believe that all magic and unicorns, stuff like that was just form books and cartoons. He still feels like he’s dreaming.

Percy gains more friends, probably some minor interactions between Bill and Charlie. If he’s friends with either Oliver or Marcus, or even someone else, I feel like he could get pretty into quidditch, which might lead to him sort of idolising Bill and Charlie a little bit.

Christmas break happens and when Bill and Charlie go home they tell their parents about a red head kid who seems very familiar. They’re both understandably upset, but it’s been about 8? years now. They have to move on. However, Molly can’t help but cling to some shred of hope that it could be her missing son.

Back to school and Percy is sitting on the stands in the quidditch pitch, maybe with some friends, watching quidditch practice.

Sometime through Bill and Charlie notice and can’t help but be drawn to the boy, so they go down to see him. They talk and eventually learn his name is Percy. They get along pretty well and (depending on his house) talk to him every so often.

The year ends and Bill and Charlie go home and tell their parents about Percy.

It’s too good to be true. They don’t want to get their hopes up but there’s too much. They spend the summer thinking about what to do.

And that’s all I got so far

Thoughts?

Whoa! That's a lot of great details, and I definitely think you should write the fic! 😄

It's a super interesting premise. Percy would be very different if he was raised in a different environment (especially with less siblings/in the Muggle world).

I think it's more likely that little Percy heard a noise and decided to investigate (telling himself that he's supposed to be brave like his dad and uncles). After he loses his memory, he goes to an orphanage where he gets adopted (because it's a huge red flag if someone just decides to keep a kid they found in the woods without calling the police). The Weasleys look for him, but they can't report it until after the war, and even then, we all know there's a serious disconnect between the Wizarding World and the Muggle world, so he's never located.

So he's raised in the Muggle world. I've always sort of thought that Percy would have been happier growing up amongst Muggles, because he would have had more diverse opportunities for hobbies, sports, friend groups, etc. The Wizarding World is relatively small and isolated (even from each other), and there seems to only be a few types of people/hobbies, so Percy's choices were rather limited.

In the Muggle world, he gets to join teams like swimming and cross country, join political activism clubs, and find his favorite music/TV shows, as well as meet other people his age with those same interests. Overall, he's more balanced, socialized, and physically healthy, which all contributes to a better overall mental health.

It's also nice for him to not have to worry about the war, money, or fighting for his parents' attention (because there's less kids). He ends up being more relaxed and likely having a better bond with his siblings. All in all, he's doing well (though he still has some strange traits, such as obsessing over his hobbies, but they're less extreme).

One note that I will say is that if you base this story during canon time (the early 90's), Percy's still not getting a lot of help for his Autism. Even in the Muggle world, conditions like Autism and ADHD were still very stigmatized then. I grew up during that time, and nobody wanted to talk about those (they were just unspoken realities that people tried to ignore, especially if you were high-functioning). Since Percy is high-functioning, everyone probably just assume that he's a bit weird from losing his memory, but they don't look much deeper into it.

Anyway, so then he gets to Hogwarts, and he could still be sorted into Gryffindor, but if you're wanting a different House, then Hufflepuff would be fun. He becomes friends with several other kids, like Oliver & Marcus (which plays into the fun trope of a Hufflepuff adopting a Slytherin), and he enjoys school.

The one caveat I see with your plot is that as soon as an 11-year-old boy with red hair named 'Percy' is called up for the sorting hat, Bill & Charlie would immediately notice it. It would be way too much of a coincidence, especially because Bill & Charlie would have been around 9 & 11 when Percy disappeared - definitely old enough to remember him.

Regardless, seeing the Weasley family reunite with Percy would be amazing, because his personality would be different, but so would theirs. It would be an emotional, intriguing story, and I hope you write it! 🥰

Thanks for the ask! 😊

[believingispowerfulmagic]

Sneak Peek: "Comfort Food" Part XXXIV: Henry's First Christmas

Today is my birthday! (No, really. I'm an April Fools baby). As is my tradition, I like to share a sneak peek of an upcoming chapter on my birthday. A poll on Twitter chose Comfort Food, so here we go!

Henry refused to smile.

            Robin and Regina stood behind the poor photographer manning the camera at Santa’s Workshop located at the Storybrooke Galleria. Henry lay in the crook of Santa’s arm, looking up at the bearded man with an intense look in his eyes. Tear tracks lined his cheeks as he cried when Regina walked away after placing him in Santa’s arms. But Santa had been a pro and managed to soothe him. However, no one could get Henry to smile for his first picture with Santa – not Santa or any of the elves assisting.

            “Oh well,” she said, sighing. “I guess most people have pictures of an unhappy baby with Santa. Maybe we’ll have better luck next year.”

            “Wait,” Robin said, rubbing his chin. “I have an idea.”

            He moved off to the side until he was in Henry’s eyeline. Robin then began to wave his hands and smile, trying to engage his son. She watched Henry and her spirits soared when he finally smiled, pleased to see his father. The photographer got a few pictures before nodding to Regina. “We’re good,” he said.

            Relief filled her and she gave Robin a thumb’s up. “Thank you so much.”

            “You’re welcome,” the photographer said. “You can see the elf outside to get your pictures. Happy holidays!”

            She thanked him as she moved toward the exit. Robin followed her with Henry in his arms. Henry was happier now that he was in his father’s arms and cooed happily as he gummed his fingers.

            Regina stepped up to the booth outside the North Pole and the woman behind the counter smiled as she tapped the screen. “Please confirm if that’s your child in the picture,” she said.

            “It is,” Regina said as Henry’s pictures popped up. The photographer had taken several – half with Henry frowning and half with him smiling. “Do I just have to choose one or can I choose more?"

            “Depends on your package but the minimum is three pictures,” the elf said, pulling out a lamented form. “This explains all our packages.”

            Regina angled it so Robin could look at it while he stood with the stroller. He leaned closer to her before pointing to the middle package. “I think this might the best,” he said. “Everyone can get something.”

            She looked it over, finding it gave them three pictures in each size as well as three keychains. Regina nodded. “I agree. So we’ll take package three please,” she said, handing the paper back to the elf.

            “Excellent choice,” the elf said, typing something into her computer. “So you can pick three pictures.”

            “So are we going with the ones where he is smiling?” Robin asked, pointing to the bottom two rows.

            Regina nodded. “I’d say two of the shots should come there. But at least one shot should be from before then. To at least document how much he didn’t trust Santa at first.”

            “We do need to preserve that look for posterity,” he agreed. He pointed to one picture. “I vote for this one.”

            “Definitely,” she said. “So one down, two to go.”

            Together they picked the next two pictures and then paid for the package. Within minutes, the elf handed them their receipt. “You can come pick them up in a half hour,” she said. “Just make sure you have the receipt, okay?”

            “We will,” Regina replied. “Thank you.”

            “So, where to next?” Robin asked as they walked away from the North Pole and back into the crowded mall.

            She pointed ahead. “I want to stop in Bloomingdale’s to get something for my mother. You can go somewhere else if you want and we can meet back here in like a half-hour.”

            He nodded. “That sounds good. Henry and I need to get a few more presents for you.”

            “Just don’t go overboard,” she told him, kissing his cheek. “I just need you two over any material object.”

            “I know,” he replied. “But it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a few treasures.”

            She chuckled. “I suppose.”

            He leaned forward, giving her a quick kiss. “You go get something for your mother and Henry and I will go find the perfect gift for you.”

            “Sounds like a plan,” she said. “Meet back here in an hour?”

            “We’ll see you then,” Robin replied, pushing the stroller away from her.

            Once they disappeared into the crowd, Regina turned and walked toward Bloomingdale’s. She entered the store and found the woman’s section easily, deciding to get her mother a new blouse. After looking over their selections, she found one she knew Cora would love and bought it. With a half hour left until she had to meet Robin, she decided to wander the mall to find something for his stocking as well.

            She found a little store with some fun items that would make good stocking gifts. After finding a few nice ones she knew Robin would love, she bought them and realized she still had ten minutes. That gave her time to stop by Santa’s Workshop again and she picked up her photo package from the elf. She slipped it into the bag she got from Bloomingdale’s just as Robin and Henry emerged from the crowd.

            “Perfect timing,” she said, stepping closer to him and giving him a quick kiss. “Did you get what you needed?”

            “We did,” he replied, smiling down at Henry. “Right, my boy?”

            Henry cooed in response and Robin nodded. “He agrees.”

            She chuckled. “Well, why don’t we get something to eat at the food court and then head home?”

            “I like that plan,” Robin said. “Let’s go.”

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Today I rewarded myself by finally buying a clearanced calendar at Tractor Supply, and guess what one I got..

Mushrooms! Photographs of bloody mushrooms!

I take a bazillion photos of mushrooms, see mushrooms practically every day, and now I am going to have a calendar hanging on my wall of someone else’s mushroom pics???

I must have been out of my mind! LOL

(I considered the Wolves one, but the truth is I have had so many of those over the years I wanted something new.)

For decades I had a wall of calendars, like thirty of them, every year, thanks to freebies and after New Years sales. I’d spend time planning out exactly how to arrange them on the wall for the most satisfying effect. They are like posters that change every month! Since I HATE empty spaces and love variety, they made me happy.

This year I have…..two. I’d managed to get great price on an Edward Gorey one for a Christmas gift for myself **. There is now so much empty wall space in my room that too look at is to feel the despair of the void, the destroying nothing of a prison cell, the soullessness of “tasteful” spartan “clutter free” (UGH!!!) décor.

I don’t regret buying a calendar on sale that cheap.

But mushrooms???

** A hard choice, but price won. Still sad not to have a Charles Addams, Alice in Wonderland, or Doctor Who this year after finding them still available. But DAMN have you seen the price of calendars now??? Love wall calendars but some of them are around $20 now! At least I was able to find something I liked cheap enough . If I hadn’t this would have been my first calendar-less year since that Miss Piggy created an addiction in 8 year old me.

[lianabrooks]

'tis spooky season in North America and that means it is time for another All I Want For Christmas book, your horror for the holidays!

Pack your bags and come with Iris Muhly to stunning Seoul! She's an American ingenue way out of place and about to lose her job. Can the resident villain save the day? Maybe!

Watch this space for pre-order links and news!

https://www.lianabrooks.com/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-a-gargoyle/

Opening pages below the break...

Need a book to read right now? All I Want For Christmas Is A Werewolf All I Want For Christmas Is A Reaper

Opening pages from the unproofed ARC (because my editor is still fixing things and I wanted to share today!).

Everi1/ShatteredEndings: Longtime lurker, first time poster, I’m really torn on how to vote for Shattered 5. I’m a Z-wysh shipper, but I don’t know if I can forgive Iris for dumping Jihun! - @ValL0vesM3 @MaxIsBae53 – You can’t come back from that. @xxUwUxx23 – SAME @EveriReader – Jihun would tell you to follow your heart. Until Our Darling says he wants Iris gone, don’t believe the gossip. The eighth reel is the one set up by the original author, and that means keeping Iris.

A decade or two ago my dark, chocolate brown hair might have drawn some attention as I got off the bus near Gongdeok Station in Seoul. My skin was a little too pink to be native, my height still a few centimeters taller than the average Korean woman's, my eyes double-lidded and noticeably western European. Today, no one seemed to notice. A few teens glanced at the bedraggled black and purple wig in my hand and the water-damaged fan sign for the hit TV show Shattered, but if they thought anything it was probably that I was a fan who'd gone to see the cast in their final appearance of the penultimate season four.

Absolutely no one shouted out "Wysha!" as I passed, even though that was the name of the purple-haired, mortal-turned-immortal I'd played since the season three finale. Even fans would have struggled to remember my legal name - Iris Muhly - simply because I was, as they said in Hollywood, an ingenue.

Unknown.

A random extra who wound up playing a major character for one season and was destined for a gruesome on-screen death if I didn't get things fixed.

Bitter cold winds rushed ruffled overhead holiday banners lining the alley as I hurried to my Yeonnam-dong apartment. It had been another very long day, with a four am call time so the principles of the cast could do a six am morning show followed by the teaser trailer for the upcoming fan vote. I'd escaped that at ten and rushed to the salon to get my poor, bleached hair treated, re-colored back its natural brown, and then headed home as the sky turned dark. It was only a little after five in the evening, but it was a bitingly cold December day and the sun was setting.

Somewhere over the sound of rushing cars I could hear someone learning that sound doesn’t carry well when it’s -20C outside. No, not even for cheery Christmas carols or romantic pop ballads about first kisses stolen between snowflakes. The winter weather this year consisted of a freezing drought, brutal winds, and none of the romantic snow the Koreans were all expecting.

"Fine by me," I muttered as I eyed the frozen blue sky. I had a plane ticket for a red-eye out of Incheon airport heading straight back to the good 'ol US of A. Home sweet... spawn point?

It was less about going home to somewhere good or safe and more about being in a place where my work visa wouldn't expire as soon as I was fired. Because my first acting gig was rapidly going from Going To Get Fired to Going To Get Fired And Blacklisted.

Hugging my black coat around myself against the cold I glanced both ways along a narrow street and dashed across the street in a way most likely to 1) get me hit by a passing car and 2) get me fined if any of the CCTV cams were working. Which, they weren't. The agency I'd signed a twelve-month contract with was paying for the apartment here in Seoul and they weren't springing for a luxury penthouse for someone who wasn't an actual star.

I ducked past the shops lining the ground floor - convenience stores, noodle shops, and pharmacies - fighting the wind with each step. Plastering myself to the side of the building I tugged off a thin gray glove long enough to punch in the six-digit door code.

The tinted glass door slid open with a soft whoosh of warmer air.

For the first time all day I could almost breathe easy. Granted, there were fourteen CCTV cams pointed along the entry way for the apartment building and two more doors to get through to get to the communal mail hall, but at least I was safe-ish when the doors locked behind me with a click.

It sounded delusional, but for the past week or more I'd felt like someone was watching me.

I'd pushed it off as a delayed response to eighteen-hour work days on set in front of cameras. Compared to the last fourteen months of filming and promotions this past week had been comparatively easy. The cast had split the interviews and appearances, I'd only been in six of the fourteen live things, done four signings, and only been physically threatened, oh, maybe a few thousand times.

With a glance at the heavily tinted windows I went through the next set of doors to the common area where a bank of TVs displayed everything from the local weather channel and the stock exchange to the celebrity news.

The same picture was on half the TVs: a Korean man so handsome my breath caught even though I’d spent the past fourteen months in close proximity with him. “Michyeosseo,” the word slipped past my lips in an angry huff and I wasn’t sure who was crazier, me or the fans on screen screaming  "J'aime Max!" and "Max Kang, je suis délicieux! Épouse-moi!" and the old stand-by, “Sauve-moi, roi des gargouille!”

I wouldn’t stand out in the cold to wave purple and black dragons at a camera for an anyone. Not even in Paris where all the rosy-cheeked teens were. Not even for pay.

Okay, well, that was a lie. Because I could unreservedly cheer for Max Kang for pay and absolutely had during at least one alternate-universe scene this season.

Shattered, the multinational television show that let viewers write the ending to the universally acclaimed series that started with the novel All These Broken Seasons, was all about merging alternate universe and looking at what could have been. The whole premise was two realities collided and the death of some fey[1] princess meant the people in normal Earth suddenly were confronting the people from a magical Earth.

Max Kang, easily one of the hottest men on the planet, played the big, bad villain: Zjarr Aabo. On the screen of the lobby TV Max was seated right next to the breathlessly hungry host who was eyeing his thin, black silk shirt with the undone buttons as if she could make the others fall off by wishing alone. He probably wasn’t currently sporting the chiseled Abs of Treason he flashed at least once a season, because getting that definition involved extreme dieting and dehydration that wasn’t healthy to maintain, but most of the audience didn’t know that.

Not that Max needed chiseled muscle to make him delicious.

He was a man who’d built his fame playing classic bad guys, and one of the highest grossing Korean actors. Black hair that somehow always looked sexily tousled, wide set black eyes, heavy eyebrows, a broad and expressive face, and the muscles of a man who spent every spare hour in the gym or with the show’s fight trainer. The fact that he could dance and sing was just icing on the slice of Hallyu Wave perfection that was Max Kang.

Light loved him.

There was a glow, and a natural presence that survived even the camera’s harsh glare. When Max stepped into a room every head turned. His dramatic baritone voice was rich and low enough to send a shiver up anyone’s spine.

The evil demon of a man certainly didn't need to look directly into the camera with his ridiculously incomparable dark eyes and wink as his lips curled into a perfect come hither smile that all but melted everyone in his line of sight. 

No, he didn't need to do any of that. 

But he did.

I rolled my eyes as I pushed the button and waited for the elevator. All of this was to sway the vote. No, make it The Vote. With sparkly letters and fancy fonts and everything.

All These Broken Seasons was the best selling fantasy series of the mid-21st century but it had a little problem... the ending didn’t exist.   

Years ago the author had rudely died, or run away, or been kidnapped by Bigfoot. Something like that. One day they were in full contact and posting daily teasers for the untitled final fifth novel, and then they vanished. The jury was still out on what really happened.

Shattered was the answer.

Some studio had the rights, the author’s sudden disappearance gave them an opening, and they ran with it. Four, big budget seasons followed the books with a gratifying amount of accuracy[2] and now the fans got to vote on which ending we would shoot.

Since most the fans currently wanted to shoot me, the ending that promised my brutal death on screen was winning with eighty percent of the votes. Angel Xi, Shattered’s leading lady and the primary love interest of the hero, had oh-so-not-kindly told me that in Cantonese the word Four sounds like the word Death. Angel’s a sweetie like that.

The elevator opened and was empty, thank goodness. I stepped in and stabbed the close button before anyone could hop on.

Most of the building’s residents were polite enough to pretend they didn’t know me. Koreans weren’t fans of small talk as a rule, especially in Seoul, but things had been tense since the tabloids snapped pictures of Kim Jihun crying.

Tears weren’t the problem. Men could cry, and Jihun often did as the tortured, lovelorn hero of Shattered. The problem was that the tabloids had been snapping pics of me and Jihun hanging out for the past year and the world was convinced we were dating. If Jihun was smiling, I’d done something to make him happy. If Jihun was angry, it was my fault. If he was crying, I ought to die for hurting The World’s Darling.

Despite all the tabloid rumors, Jihun and I had never shared more than heartfelt glances on screen. He was my type, but I wasn’t his, and I was smart enough not to chase a man who didn’t want me.

[1] Fae? Fairy? Whatever. She was the typical All Powerful Magic Girl and she died at the end of the first book.

[2] I hadn’t read the books until after I’d been cast, and I really didn’t appreciate how much work went into adapting a book into a screenplay until I met some of the script writers. Suffice it to say, they deserved all the awards they kept winning and the full adoration of the fandom. Other fandoms wish they were this lucky.

[arialerendeair]

Tag Game #2!

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better! 

I was tagged by @moorishflower and @sans--seraph!

Three ships:

Dreamling - I’ve written more than one million words of both Malec and Sabriel, the other two pairings on this list, and there is no doubt in my mind that I’m going to soar past that number for Dreamling as well - it’s merely a matter of time.  I never know quite what’s going to grab me about a pairing sometimes (why did this grab me and not Aziraphale/Crowley, for example?), but when Dreamling grabbed me, it has gloriously refused to let go.  I love the characters, the world, and I love that it’s challenged me to write in different ways than I have in the past.  I love the sass, the sarcasm, the angst potential, and agony they can put each other through.  They’re a pairing based around stories - Dream as the prince of them, and Hob as the embodiment of them.  How can you not love them?

Malec - This is the ship that, after I fell out of Sabriel and into a period of not writing for more than a year - made me remember that I still knew how to write.  I hadn’t forgotten, a broken heart hadn’t stolen it from me.  I fell in love, and I decided for the first time that I was going to be good at action scenes (something I’d considered myself bad at for ages in the SPN fandom) - and it’s still one of my best accomplishments that now I feel I write them very well!

Sabriel - This is the ship that really taught me to WRITE in a way that no other ship had before.  I remember falling into SPN from the Sherlock fandom and then falling into the niche corner that was Sabriel.  It was like I had finally put on shoes that fit for the first time in my life.  It was also the first ship that ever made me consider being a writer full time - because I learned how much I loved writing, and could feel and see myself getting better over time.

First ever ship: Heero/Duo from Gundam Wing.  Coincidentally, they were also the first ever pairing that I wrote waaaaay back in April, 2004.  (Yes that fic exists on the internet still.  Yes, it’s older than a lot of you.  Yes, it’s also old enough to vote.  I have Feelings about this.  I should put it on Ao3 someday for sake of sheer posterity, but I don’t know if I ever will.)

Last song: Just Communication from Gundamn Wing.  (Which is entirely @moorishflower‘s fault.  The Nostalgia.)

Last movie: Pacific Rim (Which is definitely not related to the AU that is currently 10k and refuses to end because Dream and Hob are ridiculous.)

Currently reading: The Annotated Sandman - Volume One (I got this for Christmas, as well as a complete edition of the comics.  When I saw the Annotated was available at the bookstore I scrambled like a madwoman to get a copy and have been devouring it.)

Currently consuming: Strawberry Yogurt.  Because yum.  Also because I could not be arsed to snack on anything reasonable like candy this evening. 

Currently craving: Aged cheddar - because I ate through all the fancy aged cheddar I got for Christmas.  It was so good, so worth it, but I want so much more of it, please. 

Tagging... let’s see! @rainbowvamp, @mayhemspreadingguy, @darthstitch, @softest-punk, @cuubism, and... oh hell this is always the part I’m bad at.  Whoever else wants to play!