#i have been wanting to make this post for over a week now and finally here it is

[loverstrings]

Just a night in - Bucky Barnes x F!Reader | Platonic!Sam Wilson x F!Reader | Platonic!Joaquin Torres x F!Reader

Post-TFATWS, Bucky and Y/N show up to Sam’s D.C. apartment for a night in with him and Joaquin. Just a quiet night with family, and the kind of peace that still feels a little new.

a.n - guys im alive!! im currently working on the edits for chapter eight and a lil sum extra hehehe so that should be up sometime this weekend or next week. i hope you guys enjoy this, wrote this in the car. so lmk if there are any grammar errors.

| can be read as a standalone or apart of project spindle |

——

They show up late. Again. 

Bucky knocks like he’s not sure he’s welcome, which is stupid, because the second the door swings open, Joaquin beams and immediately hugs Y/N, then pulls Bucky into a back patting, manly slap on the shoulder kind of thing that makes both of them chuckle.

“You’re late,” Sam calls from the kitchen.

“Forty-seven minutes late,” Joaquin adds, grinning. “Not that anyone was counting. Except me. I was absolutely counting.”

Y/N smirks. “There was traffic.”

Sam snorts. “The drive is only ten minutes away.”

“Lot of red lights,” Bucky mutters, deadpan.

Joaquin raises an eyebrow. “Uh huh. And what color were the lights in your hotel room?”

“We don’t have to dignify that with a response,” Y/N says, immediately dignifying it by running a hand through her hair.

And that’s how the night begins.

They sit on Sam’s couch with mismatched mugs, half empty takeout containers, and a charcuterie board that’s been partially devoured. Music hums low from the Bluetooth speaker, a playlist that Joaquin made that none of them brave enough to change.

The conversation winds like it always does. Casual, then serious, then ridiculous again.

They talk about how hot D.C. is. How Brooklyn’s been quieter lately. Y/N wants a cat—a white one, she insists, something soft and bossy. Bucky pretends to protest, but it’s clear he’s already on board.

“What would you name it?” Joaquin asks, lounging sideways across the armchair.

“Something cute,” Y/N says. “Like Pearl. Or, I dunno. Banana.”

“Alpine,” Bucky offers without looking up from his drink.

Joaquin wheezes. “Banana the cat?”

The laughter fades eventually, softening into quieter talk. Joaquin leans back, fiddling with his drink.

“So, what was it like?” he asks. “Working with Steve. And Natasha.”

There’s a pause. Not an uncomfortable one. Just… weighty.

Bucky sets his cup down. “Steve was all heart. And all conviction. He’d throw himself off anything if he thought it was right.”

Y/N nods. “Nat… she knew things. Always one step ahead. But she made you feel like she saw you. Like, really saw you.”

“I wish I’d met them,” Joaquin says.

“You’d have liked Nat,” Sam says. “She’d have terrified you, but you’d have liked her.”

“What about Steve?” Joaquin asks.

“He’s around,” Sam says, more gently now. “Came back quiet. Keeps out of the spotlight. Mostly helps Wanda when she needs it.”

They all nod—briefly, solemnly.

“Have you seen her?” Joaquin asks Sam.

“Just once. After Westview.”

“Is it true she—”

“It’s true,” Sam says simply. “But she’s trying.”

Y/N’s quiet, jaw ticking. “She deserved a chance to grieve. They never gave her that.”

Eventually the night sways back into lighter things. Movies. Bad mission food. How Buck still can’t make coffee right (“That’s a war crime,” Y/N declares after one sip).

Joaquin starts dozing off, fully asleep halfway through a documentary, feet hanging off the couch at an awkward angle.

Y/N grabs a blanket from the armchair and tosses it over him with a practiced flick of her wrist.

“Mother instincts kicking in?” Bucky murmurs, amused.

She smirks. “He’ll thank me in the morning.”

Bucky chuckles under his breath, watching her walk off toward the kitchen.

She helps clear the dishes while Sam tidies the charcuterie tray.

Then, Y/N leans her hip against the counter. “Hey, Sam?”

He glances over, already expecting something lighthearted. “What, you finally gonna admit Bucky was right about the wine?”

She smiles faintly. “No. I meant… you doing okay?”

He tilts his head. “Tonight? Yeah, it’s good seeing you guys.”

She shakes her head. “No. I mean—being Cap. Being here. In D.C.”

Sam goes quiet for a moment, the weight of the question settling in.

He exhales, drying his hands on a dish towel. “It’s heavier than I thought. Some days…” He pauses, eyes distant for a moment. “Some days I wonder if I’m still earning it. Other days, I feel like I already did. It’s not just the shield. It’s what people see when I hold it. What they expect to see. And what they don’t.”

Y/N doesn’t interrupt. Just watches him, letting the silence stretch as long as he needs.

“You’re doing more than okay,” she says gently. “You’re making them see it. That matters.”

Sam nods once, grateful.

Back in the living room, Bucky’s sitting quietly, rubbing a thumb along a groove in his glass. Y/N returns to him, drops onto the couch, legs over his lap like she’s claiming territory.

He glances over, a small smile tugging at his mouth. “Mission status?”

“Report filed,” she replies, mock formal. “Captain’s stable. Morale’s high. Whiskey stocks running low.”

Sam’s voice calls from the kitchen, dry as ever: “You forget to mention your field name, Sparkle Fingers.”

“Excuse you,” Y/N fires back. “It’s Agent Sparkle Fingers.”

“She’s got the pink glowy magic hands,” Sam adds, stepping into view with a grin. “I don’t make the rules.”

“She makes her own,” Bucky mutters, letting his hand rest lightly on her shin.

Y/N shoots Sam a smug look. “Good thing I’m the one writing Bucky’s post mission evaluation.”

Bucky raises a brow. “Am I passing?”

“Hm.” She pretends to consider it, then smirks. “Still under review. Might need another field test.”

He leans back with a soft laugh. “Terrifying.”

“Effective,” she says sweetly.

Sam walks to the bathroom, shaking his head. “God help us if she ever runs the briefing room.”

Y/N shrugs, raising her voice just enough for Sam to hear—but not enough to wake Joaquin. “Admit it, Wilson. You’d miss me if I didn’t.”

They stay like that for a while. Talking about nothing. Letting the night breathe around them.

Eventually Bucky says, “We should come visit more often.”

“Mm,” Y/N agrees, settling her head on his shoulder. “Next time I’ll bring Alpine.”

“We don’t have a cat yet.”

“Not yet,” she says sleepily. “But we will.”

——

keep up with project spindle and some other drabbles! masterlist

[microwavedzebras]

IN DEPTH BATTLE AT THE BOWL SPOILERS

🚨THIS POST CONTAINS MANY SPOILERS FOR DIMENSION 20: BATTLE AT THE BOWL. DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS🚨

Again, if you don’t want spoilers, please block the tag #battle at the bowl spoilers and do not read this post!!

If you Only want to see who lived/died and dont want any other spoilers, check out my previous post about the show! That one only has the spoiler of who lived/died and no other spoilers!

This post is gonna be a summary of the whole show!

- Brennan was wearing a pirate shirt and hat but took the hat off for the show. All of their outfits were really cool though, especially Siobhan (wearing a denim jumpsuit) and Emily (wearing a puffy black dress and tights)

- Ayda announcing pride month and immediately ratting out to Fig that Fabian got Riz to spy on Gilear and try to dig up dirt on him (the dirt was that he constantly rewatches disc 1 of season 7 of Bones bc the library doesn’t have disc 2)

-Fig trying to plan the wildest action-packed weekend for Gilear’s bachelor party, calls him a dilk (dad I’d like to know), and Ayda helps her decide that the knife throwing event should be moved to the final event of the bachelor party (but then Ayda has to leave to take care of some business at the library)

- Gilear goes to Lids once a week and tries on hats and then gets too scared to buy them and leaves

- Unit flirting + rubbing his nipples (does he even have nipples???) and pretending to be multiclassing as a barbarian to hang out with Gorgug but Gorgug rejects him bc he has a girlfriend now :(

- Fig is about to fight Riz for spying on Gilear but then Fabian’s nemesis alert pings and pings again as Chungle-Down Bim approaches

-Chungle-Down Bim appears and calls himself the bad kids’ greatest enemy even though most of them have never met him lmao

- THE BAD KIDS (except Fabian) ALL GET A SPELL PUT ON THEM THAT TURNS THEM INTO CHUNGLE DOWN’S PIRATE CREW AND THEY ALL HAVE PIRATE ACCESSORIES AND EVEN LOU DIDNT KNOW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

- Emily said she was wearing pirate tights and Lou said he complimented those tights earlier and didn’t know they were supposed to be pirate-y

- Ally’s “pirate accessory” is basically just a bandana wrapped around their head like a babushka 😭

- Fabian and Gorgug roll the lowest initiatives

- Murph has the highest initiative and fucking crits against Fabian

- They all take 1d6 psychic damage if they try to resist pirate-ification (from just trying, doesn’t matter if they succeed or not, they still take damage)

- Michael Shaubach comes out with a t shirt canon whenever someone crits and shoots one singular t shirt into the audience (I was not close enough to the stage to get one)

- Ally , while acting like Austin powers, rolled a box of doom roll and temporarily breaks out of the spell and was able to dispel magic on Gorgug and make him fully normal

-even if the characters break out of the spell it’s only for a turn and on Chungle-Down Bim’s next turn he can reassert control over them. The only way to fully free someone from the spell is to cast dispel magic on them

- Fabian and Gorgug both have fly cast on them and run away (Gorgug’s fly spell is a propeller that he attaches to his head)

- Intermission

- Fabian and Gorgug go to Basrars because that’s where Fabian goes when hes scared, he tells Basrar that someone’s after him and as soon as he says Chungle-Down Bim, Basrar teleports away

- Fabian has accidentally been butt dialing Gilear for the past 20 mins, and Gilear tells him a bunch of boys are bullying him and that he’s been trapped in the Lids changing room

- Fabian just hangs up and calls Jawbone instead, but Jawbone instead lectures him about feeling his feelings and not using violence

- Gorgug calls Mary-Ann but she’s at a quokki-pet tournament

- Fabian calls Mazey and she is also busy but says she’ll head over as soon as she can

- Fabian also calls the hangman to him

- Chungle-Down Riz rolls a really high investigation check and finds Fabian and attacks him

- Chungle-Down Bim and the other bad kids prepare a spell to destroy Elmville

- Kristen breaks out of the spell but instead of casting dispel magic on the others or attacking Chungle-Down Bim she just decides to look out the window and try to get answers from the sky

- Fabian only has 20 hit points left, and the hangman bursts in and says “I’ve always hated you” to Riz and dispells magic on him and Riz is like “I could hear what you just said!”

- When Fabian says he only has 20 hit points left, an “in memorium” slide of Fabian starts playing on the screens

- Most of the audience participation rolls were for the dispel magic rolls. We got a nat 20 on one of them!

- Brennan lets Fabian turn one of his bard spells into a dispel magic

- Chungle-Down Bim and the other bad kids arrive in the parking lot of Basrars and Kristen finally casts dispel magic on Adaine

- Chungle-Down Bim attacks Fabian and Brennan is like “Fabian could die on this turn. It’s not likely, but it’s possible”

- He does just enough damage to drop Fabian to zero and another , fully different “In memorium” screen plays (it plays a total of 3 times and they’re all different)

- Fabian sees his dad while he’s passed out and his dad says that he’s in his corner and he’ll heal him if he wires him a bunch of money. Fabian is like “Im unconscious” and Bill tells him to figure it out

- Fabian decides fuck healing and becoming a better person, just for today hes gonna fucking destroy chungle-down bim, and then he’ll go back to his healing journey afterwards

- Bill is also unlearning toxic masculinity and has been doing yoga

- Gorgug heals Fabian for a couple hit points and Fabian Venmos his dad and gets a bunch more hit points back

- Kristen kills Upchungle and wears him as a hat

- Gorgug is the first person to actually rsvp to the bachelor party and Fig is un-Chungled

- Murph flossed and dabbed

- Adaine casts a spell on Chungle-Down Bim that makes him incapacitated until her next turn

- Everyone just fucking hits him until he dies, Fabian and the hangman get the last blows and they kill Chungle-Down Bim

- Chungle Down Bim asks Fabian the existential question while hes dying, “will you shit in my mouth?”

- Fabian decides that he will, but he’s nervous to do it in front of everyone else, so Gorgug holds his arms and another person casts invisibility on him

- Mazey arrives, just as invisible Fabian is shitting in Chungle-down Bim’s mouth and Riz panics and casts fairie fire so she can see the whole thing, but she’s proud of Fabian

- They get up from their seats and Brennan lays on the ground, Lou squats over his face, and Zac holds Lou’s hands and they act this out

- There is no in memorium slide for chungle-down bim at all

- They all decide to eat ice cream together and Fabian is just staring off into the distance

-Gilear calls Fig and is like “hey Im having a bad day and it would just make me feel better if you knew anyone who might be having a worse day” and Fig is like “friends lie for their friends” and says “no. You are having the worst day”

[missmanlykink]

yea…”homework” | clark kent ✿

MDNI - 18+ | navigation - m.list - taglist 𝜗୧ | COME TO MY I𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 (100 followers celebration!)

summary: clark kent is head over heels in love with you, and everyone know that. but when he offers to help you with your schoolwork, you take it as the perfect opportunity to make the first move (by sucking his cock)

paring: virgin!smallville!clark x bold!crush!fem!reader

wc: 2.6k

warnings: smut, oral (male receiving), overstimulation, cum swallowing, sub/dom undertones, clark is a shy virgin, reader is kinda pervy and very horny, swearing, semi-quiet “sex” and corruption kink lol..? lmk if i missed any! (to be edited later)

a/n: okay hey guys! i have 3 things to say. 1. for all my baddie that are waiting to their 100 followers celebration fic, it’s coming soon :D i just wanted to get this out of the way. 2. sorry if the s-stutter is overused, he’s just like SUPER nervous around read lol and 3. i again stayed to so fucking late/early to write this (5am) …my sleep schedule is so bad. okay luv you guys! (will be post on ao3 sooner or later)

SMUT UNDER CUT - MINORS DNI </3

“Shit…i have 4 assignments due next week, and I have so much homework to do.” you whined to your friend as you both walked down the hall to get to your last class. Somehow Clark overheard you through the crowd of rushing students, and there he was right next to you. ”I can help!” he shouted out swiftly, like he was trying to make sure no one offered their help before he could.

Clark was in love with you, it was incredibly obvious, but Clark didn’t know that. He thought he was crushing on in private, but anyone with eyes that can see and ears than can hear knows how nervous he gets when your around, he’s so cute when we stutters over his words and pretty pink blush erupting on his skin at the mere mention- no, thought of you.

Once he finished his very quick sentence an idea immediately popped in your brain. You know how much Clark likes you. Everyone who is aware of you and Clark knows. Its a fact. And I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get him alone and pounce. You liked him as well, and you could just say that. But why not have a little fun when you do.

Your cheeks bunched up as you smiled sweetly up at the tall boy “Aw, Clark! That's really nice, thank you,” you remove your hand from your side and grip his arm softlyhis strong arm. He literally tried his hardest to contain himself, he wanted to melt into your touch. “Yea, anything.” a familiar pink hue erupted on his cheeks. You were both going to be late to class but it’s going to be so worth it. “So I'll come to your house after I get my thing, yeah?” he nodded slowly, the thought of having you in his room, sitting on his sheet, had him hot.

-

Now you’re finally at the Kent's family farm. You walk up to the big yellow house, and stand on their front porch. Before you could knock on the door Clark immediately opened the door. Your eyes widened in shock from the abrupt opening. He must’ve been watching you through the window, waiting for your arrival. “How cute.” you said in your mind, thinking about him waiting for you and about his very sexy appearance. He looked so good in that tight white t-shirt that clinged on his strong torso so perfectly.

And he looked out of breath, like he was trying to clean up before you got her—he was, his room was an absolute shit show. The slight of his chest heaving up and down got you even more excited to make him do that with your mouth. Yea, that sounds pervy, but how could you not. Look at him.

You had a plan. Up your flirting, be more touchy and bold. He was going to melt wax into your hands. Both of his arms and resting on the threshold, looking down at you with that smile–the unknowingly sexy smile on his part. “Hey, Clark,” you flirted , gazing up at him with the biggest fuck me eyes your could wear.

That has such an effect on him and you know it does. His skin gets hotter as he gets more nervous. “H-hi Y/N…” he says shyly, resting his arm on the threshold. This is already going perfectly. You both just kind of stood there for a second, you’d walk in he's blocking your way, and when he realized you couldn't come in the poor boy got embarrassed. “Oh! Sorry-“ he blurted out, swiftly moving his arm so you could both “get to work”.

You giggled at him as you slipped inside the cozy home. You walked around slowly, eye scanning the family photos and very comfortable looking furniture until you heard his mother call out “Clark? Who was at the door?”. Well you didn’t know his parents would be home, but don't think that discouraged you, now you think of this as a fun little challenge. Now you have to stay quiet. She stepped into the living room with a towel in her hand, wiped the residue from whatever she was doing in the kitchen. “Y/N? What’re you doing here?” she asked with a gentle smile, “Hi, Mrs. Kent! Clark offered to help me with my schoolwork. So I suggested we study at his house!” you replied, mirroring the expression on her face.

You were here to study, yes. But you probably weren't going to retain any of the information, you had a one track mind. His mom gave him a very knowing look. She knew exactly why he offered to help you. “Well, Clark, that was very nice of you,” she teased. You could tell in his face that he wanted to scream “Please stop embarrassing me.” But he said “It's nothing. I just overheard, that's all..” instead while rubbing the back of his neck. “Mhm, you two behave yourself,” Well..

-

You had followed upstairs into his freshly cleaned room, and he so kindly opened the door for you like a real gentleman. His room was very clean, practically spotless. Now it's time to put your plan into action. You walk slowly into his room and say “I didn't get to say this earlier at school, but you looked really good today.” You couldn't see him because he was behind you but you could basically feel the stunned look on his face. You turned around and you were right. HIs eyes were widened, mouth parted as he tried to say something back.

“R-Really?” he sputtered out, eyes zoned in on you as approach closer to him.”Yea…I like what you did with your hair.” his hair looked the same as it always did, but you couldn’t say “Clark, your lips looked so kissable today, I could swallow them whole!” That would be too much. At least for now. You raised your hand up so you could thread your fingers through his soft, dark hair and framed his face so perfectly and smiled. There was that pretty pink blush you always loved to bring to him. He was going to lose his mind. His heart was beating out of his chest.

You both sat down and sank into his bed. You took off your bookbag and sat it down next to his light brown bedside table. Clark cleared his throat before he spoke up. “Okay, which subject do you want to work on?” if you were going to compete honestly you didn’t even think about that so you choose the one that needed the most urgency. He was extremely smart, so you knew he wouldn't struggle with any of it. “Let’s do Algebra,” you reply as you zip your bag and dip your hand into it to collect your math folder. His eyes light up at your words. “That’s perfect, I've been told that I”m pretty good at math. You smile “I bet you are,”

-

You both got more comfortable on his twin bed, you kicked off your shoes, sat up against his pillow, legs crossed. You were trying your hardest to stay focused but it was hard, intelligence turned you on, and Clark using it made it even better. It was just algebra but he was just so hot.

His eyes were locked in on the pieces of paper that sat in front him as he explained each problem to you. Fingers trailing down the paper, you wanted them inside you real bad. You were about to pop the question.

“Clark? Can I ask you a question?” his shoot up to your face, fully unaware of how vulgar the question was going to be. “Yea sure, what is it?” he replied with a curious look. “It's a bit of a topic but, has anyone ever gone down on you?” He almost choked on his spit, you didn't say what he thought you said, right? No, wrong. His mouth gaps as he straightens up his back. “I- W-What?” he stutters with a nervous laugh. He genuinely couldn't believe this. This is exactly what you wanted, that look on his face made you want to jump his bones.

“So I'm guessing that’s a no?” you tease, scooting a little closer, trying to break the unwanted distance in between you two. He wanted to lie to you so badly–to save himself the embarrassment–but he couldn’t and if he did tell a lie, he may have missed out on the best that might happen to him. So simply shook his head, eyes looking everywhere but your alluring face. But when he felt your hand lay down gently on his thigh, inching closer and closer to the tent in jeans, he could no longer avoid your seductive gaze.

“Okay listen..” you begin as you scoot even closer. “I usually don’t do this, but I like you, Clark…want me to show you how much?” you purrs, palming his hard through his jeans. “Yes- yes, yes…please.” he whimpered between his stutters, blush traveling all over his body. He chews on his bottom lip as he watches you sink down to the floor, sitting pretty on your knees.

You pause on rubbing on a growing tent in his pants and start to get rid of his belt, unbuckling the strap of leather, but his hand is on yours faster than you could blink. “Wait-” his face was painted with guilt, you furrowed your brows, was this actually a bit too much? ‘What’s wrong, Clark? Did I go too far?” you asked, “No- not at all, but you don’t have to if you really don’t want to..” he muttered. How could a boy be so smart but dumb at the same time?

There you were, on your knees for him. Ready to suck him off in a heartbeat, and he thinks you don’t want to do this. And that is exactly what you said to him, and he nodded softly at your words, you didn’t mean to make him feel stupid, but he needed to get a clue.

You removed his belt, and finally you zipped open his jeans, you lips your bite in excitement, you could wait to see what he looked like under his blue boxers. You grab the buckle of his jeans and slide them down just enough, making sure you could easily pull his underwear down.

Clark couldn’t believe his eyes, he had the love of his life sitting before him, basically drool over him. You’re darkened eyes locked eye contact with his as you began to stroke him through the fabric. His mouth gaps at the pleasure shooting through his leaking cock. Pre-cum staining the inside of his boxers.

His little gasps made you throb. You bite your lip as you feel his hard, big, veiny cock—like you guessed. You know he would be big from the way he walked. It only made sense. Now the real prize was about to spring out of his boxers. Your fingers hooked the elastic of his boxers.

There it was. His dick bouncing onto his clothed abs—that you were going to see in the meantime. He was long and thick, the tip of his cock was bright red, like it was screaming for you touch it, and you listened.

You got your nails and slowly dragged it up and down his length to get a reaction, you wanted to hear him again so badly. That earned you a soft whimper from him, hips buckling up into nothing as you teased him. “P-please..” he murmured, begging you touch him again.

You smiled softly at him and decided to put an ending to his misery and fully grabbed hold of throbbing length. You slide you hand up to collect the leaking pre-cum, gliding it up and down. You heard his breath start to pick up, panting from the sensation. . “Does that feel good?” you purred, as you start to pump him a little faster. “Yes..” he whimpered, brows knitted together from the feeling.

He looked glorious. Even though you were sitting on your knees, you still felt in control and that was the hottest thing ever. His eyes are watching your every move, focusing on the way you’re stroking him, the way your face moves as you pleasure him so well.

Soft whine escapes from him as you lick a long stripe from the base of his cock to the head of it, finally taking him into you mouth. You wanted to ruin him. You use your tongue swirl around his tip, making him bite back a moan that would’ve been way too loud—for now.

You begin to bob you head up and down, slick lips coating his skin. “F-fuck-“ he gasp, hands grasping on the duvet that sat underneath, hips jolting up into your mouth. Innocent farm boy Clark Kent swearing? You were really doing a number on him.

That word gave you the signal to work a little faster.

His head threw back as you hollowed your cheeks around him and you sucked him off, using your hand to stroke the par that wasn’t in your mouth. You use your other hand to pin his squinting hips down.

His skin was on fire. Cheek, ears and neck pink because of you. Salvia ran down you chin as you deepthroated him, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Mascara streaming down your puffy cheeks. Then you felt him twitch in your mouth.

“Shit- I’m about to-“ he rasped out, heart slammed against his ribcage, and before you could do anything he release in your throat. Not that you're complaining, but you deepthroated a virgin, this was bound to happen.

Little praises and whimpers fell out of his mouth as he came, eyes shut closed. Hair falling in front of his eyes as his chest heaved up and down. You swallow his cum and take him out of your mouth. Immediately catching your breath. He felt so embarrassed. He tried his hardest not to but your mouth just felt so good.

“I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to…You just-“ you cut him off before he could babble on and on and on. “Clark. It’s okay. We’re not done yet..” you said, grabbing his length back into your hand once again.

His hissed at the the shocking feeling that hit his cock, “O-Oh-“ he stuttered out, head tilting down as you overstimulated his already fucked out dick. He takes his lips between his teeth, trying his hardest not to scream out your name. Now this was a sight everyone should see at least once in their life.

You pumped your hand really fast. You knew it was going to drive him nuts. His hips jolted up into your hand, eyes screwed shut as his second climax hit him like a brick wall. It hurt so good. He sees stars as his release pouring down your hand. He was out of breath, his lips were swollen from the tugging his teeth did and if it was time for the grim reaper to take him away, he could die a happy man.

-

After he cleaned both of you up, you had to fix your makeup in his bathroom. If her mom saw you in the condition you were in she would flip. As you were cleaning up your lipstick, you saw Clark standing right beside you in the mirror. “Y/N? Can I ask you a question?”

You just knew this was about to be good. “Yea sure, what is it?” He cleared his throat before he started to speak. “Can I- you know…return the favor? I’ve never done it before but you could teach me?”

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[musings-of-a-rose]

Meet the Millers - Chapter 14

Pairing: Joel Miller x Benny Miller x Will Miller x f!reader (coming soon - another Miller?)

Word Count: 6800+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Well folks, it's finally here! I originally ended this series back in April 2022, nearly a year before TLOU season 1 debuted. I thought it was over, but not only did I have a few scenes I wanted to write but wouldn't fit, SO MANY PEOPLE asked me for more. No one more than @theewokingdead so I dedicate this last half of the series to her!

Posted in 2022: This is set loosely in The Last of Us universe. I’ve only played a bit of the game and watched others play (and the show isn’t out yet), so please forgive any inaccuracies. Also it’s a post-apocalyptic world so I’m taking a bunch of liberties here. Because fan fiction.

Ages at the time of this story (so you don’t have to do math):

Reader: 29

Benny: 36

Will: 39

Joel: 51

Main Masterlist

Meet the Millers Masterlist

<<Chapter 13<<

The days are getting colder, autumn settling into our bones. Even Joel breaks out his jacket, looking more ruggedly handsome as he tugs it on. It’s been several weeks since the events in Kansas City, but the weather change makes it feel like longer, the cold reminding us that winter will soon be arriving. 

“Ok, and what do you do first?” I ask Ellie as we sit at our makeshift camp deep in the woods. 

Ellie points to the spot on my leg I had designated as the wound site. “Rip off some fabric or somehow tie off the wound?”

“Where?”

She studies my leg a moment before pointing higher up my thigh, above the wound. “Hereish?”

“Bingo!”

Ellie pumps her fist. She had asked me after we left Kansas City to teach her more about healing and first aid on the go, figuring it may be helpful to know. If anything, it helps pass the time. Benny, on the other hand, has taught her how to play poker, which annoyed Joel at first but I have to admit, she’s getting pretty good. 

—----

“Why do you think those people told us to steer clear of the river?”

“Yeah, but we only just now crossed over the river.”

Joel shrugs but Benny answers. “Maybe they were just playin’. We haven’t seen anything yet.”

We fall silent, all of us stopping to stare at the river before Will, Joel, and Benny start to scan the area, each of them shifting nervously. I move closer to Ellie, my hands twitching with anticipation as I listen for something, anything to happen. Several long moments go by before we hear a soft rumble that grows louder.

“Is that-” before I can finish, several horses with riders emerge from over the slight hill ahead of us, all guns pointed at us as they cirlce around, makeshift bandanas covering the lower half of their faces. Joel immediately stands in front of Ellie and me, blocking us with his broad shoulders.

“Who are you?” One of them asks, pointing his gun at Joel.

Joel has his hands raised, anger radiating off of him. And fear. Not fear for himself, but fear for us, for Ellie.

“Just passing through.”

“We don’t allow people to just pass through. Not near our town,” another rider says.

“We don’t mean to trespass. Just trying to make our way through.”

They glance at each other before someone else, a woman, speaks up. “Do you know anything about hydro electric dams?” 

“I..I used to be a contractor. I know some things.” Joel is lying through his teeth. At least I think he is. I honestly don’t know if he knows anything about hydro electricity. Which ever way, the confidence he exudes is turning me on. Not the time, Ghost.

The woman nods once. “And your name?”

“Miller. Joel Miller.”

The woman studies him for several long moments, her dark eyes scanning his face, searching for any hint of malice. “Test them for infection.”

Some men emerge with a dog, straining and sniffing at the edge of his leash. We all freeze as the dog smells Will, moving on to Benny shortly thereafter. If they’re looking for infection, will the dog smell it on Ellie? Before I can think of anything to do other than stand closer to her, the dog turns to us, sniffing at Joel for a moment before he shifts his attention to us. I’m ready to jump, to lunge at the dog when it barks and starts…licking Ellie? She’s laughing, petting the dog and scratching his ears, which he eats up.

“Alright then. We have some extra horses, but you’ll have to double up. I’m Maria. And this is my husband Jake,” she nods towards another man on a horse, who tips his hat to us. “We’ll get you settled in Jackson.”

They move to get the horses ready, but Joel is still frozen in place. I gently place a hand on his shoulder. “You ok?” I speak softly in his ear.

He nods, shaking his head to clear it. “Yeah. Fine. Let’s go.”

Elli rides with Joel, me with Benny, and Will goes solo. We ride for a few miles before we see a giant wooden perimeter fence surrounding a town. And not a makeshift town, but a real ass town, complete with-

“Are those houses?” Will asks, shielding his eyes as he gazes over the top of the fence.

“Yeah. Once we get you in and fed, we’ll show you around,” Maria says as Jake calls to the guards to open the gates. We ride inside, a strip of little shops lining the main street, houses build in a grid out from here. This must have been built pre-outbreak, but they’ve kept it up all this time. It’s a great vantage spot, being able to see for miles around. And if they’ve got a hydro electric dam, then they must have electricity. Am I about to get a hot shower? I glance at a group of people cutting logs, one of them stopping to wipe his brow and turn to look at us. My eyes focus on the man and my stomach flips.

I glare at him as I slide off the horse, ignoring Benny’s questions as they blend into the ringing that’s sounding in my ears. I march up to the man, his dark hair pulled into a bun at the back of his head, and I clench my fist, readying it. I’m a couple steps away before his eyes finally shift to me and widen, a small gasp coming from him. “Ghost?”

WHAM!

My fist connects with his jaw, sending pain shooting up my arm as his head flies back. He doesn’t go down, but his hand comes up to rub at his jaw and he spits a glob of blood out on the ground. In the distance I hear yelling, and Ellie going “No fucking way!!!”

“I promised myself if I ever saw you again I would punch your stupid face. Fuck you, Tommy. Fuck. You.” 

Before he can say anything, I spin on my heel and march off. I have no clue where I’m going but I know I have to get away. I make it behind a building and slam my back against the side of it, inhaling deep breaths as my heart beats in my chest, my knuckles throbbing.  

“Ghost?” Will comes around the corner, stopping in front of me. I try to shove him off, but it’s half hearted. He cups my chin and lifts my head, looking at my face.

“You ok, darlin’?”

I nod, taking another shaky breath. “Yeah. I’ll…I’ll be ok. Just…mad.”

Will pulls me to his chest, allowing me to bury my face in him as he wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. “You know I love you, but you can’t just go around punching people who are helping us.” I make what I hope is an understanding noise. “Especially not people who are long lost brothers.”

My eyes fly open and I shove myself back from him, staring up into his steel blue eyes.

“BROTHERS?”

Will lets out a confused chuckle. “Yeah. Tommy. Tommy Miller.”

I feel the blood drain from my face, my hands growing clammy. I want to vomit. “Ano…another brother?”

Will knits his eyebrows together. “Yeah. It’s a long story, are you ok?”

I don’t honestly know how to answer his question so I shrug.

“Come on. Maria was going to take us to get a nice meal. You look like you could use it. And you need to sit down. Just…don’t hit anyone else until we’ve all had a chance to talk, yeah?”

I nod, stiffly, but it’s better than throwing up on him. Another brother? My brain races back through the past few years, trying to remember if they ever mentioned another brother. There nay have been a few passing comments, but I never pushed. Everyone has history they don’t want to talk about.

And of course the brother has to be Tommy. My Tommy. No, not my Tommy. But it would fucking figure that he’s a Miller. I can’t seem to get away from them. 

About 15 minutes later, we’re all in a mess hall, warm plates of food in front of us as we all eat in near silence, too consumed on the warm, fresh food to talk. Tommy sits at the other end of the table from me, icing his jaw. Good. I hope it hurts. Another several minutes goes by before Will sets his fork down and clears his throat.

“Alright, I’ll break the silence and ask what we all want to know. Tommy, how do you and Ghost know each other?” 

Ellie practically vibrates off her seat but she says nothing. She must really want to see what will happen because it is definitely not like her to keep her mouth shut. But when neither me nor Tommy answer, Benny sets his fork down and reaches for his cup.

“What, did you fuck her and leave her or something.”

I can feel my face flush, my stomach churning, as Ellie grips my thigh under the table, trying to hold herself together. Everyone looks between me and Tommy for several more seconds before Benny swallows his drink and sets his cup down, staring at Tommy in a mix of disbelief and…anger?

“Oh shit you did! You fucking asshole!”

“It ain’t like that!” Tommy defends himself, glaring a little at Benny.

The rage bubbles up and out of me and I stand, my chair scraping the floor. “The fuck it isn’t! Fuck off!”

I storm outside, gripping a wooden pole to steady myself as I try to remember to breathe, my fingers digging into the wood. I hear the door open and close behind me but I don’t turn to look. 

“Hey,” It’s Maria. “I would really appreciate it if you would stop punching and yelling at my people.”

I turn my head and look at her. “I’d love to say sorry, and I am to you, but Tommy can fuck right off.”

To my surprise, she chuckles slightly. “Well, that may be but we have rules here.” I nod. “Alright, come with me. I have a house for you guys up this street. Tommy can deal with the others-”

Ellie flings the door open and walks over. “I’m not a Miller man so I’m coming with you. If that’s ok?” She asks, sounding a little afraid I’d say no. Which I want to. I want to be by myself. But it’s not her fault. I stand up straight and squeeze her arm. “Just because it’s you.” 

We follow Maria a couple of blocks from the mess hall to a cute grey home. It’s 2 stories, with a tree with a swing in it in the front yard. Maria leads us inside, giving us a mini tour. 

“It has 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. You could each claim a bathroom and make the boys share,” Maria says, lifting her eyebrow at us in mischief. Ellie laughs at the idea. 

“Alright, I’ll come back in about half an hour? Let you guys get a shower and whatever. I’ll bring over some fresh clothes too.”

“Thanks, Maria,” I shake her hand. She nods and walks out the door, closing it behind her. 

Ellie immediately turns to me. “Was that him? That was him, wasn’t it?”

I sigh. She’s not wasting time. “Yeah.”

“HA! I fucking knew it! Just had to make sure it wasn’t another asshole. Can I punch him too?”

“Sure. Just don’t let Maria see you.”

“Awesome.”

She looks at me, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “You sure have a type, don’t you.”

I punch her arm. “Shut up.”

—----

Turns out, they all thought Tommy was dead. They had a huge falling out, an argument over the Fireflies and missions, to the point where they stopped talking to each other. Then rumor reached them Tommy had died, so they just never mentioned him, too regretful that they never had a chance to make up with him. I’m still annoyed they never told me about the brother they thought had died, but it wasn’t uncommon to not talk about lost loved ones. Especially in this world, that shit can hurt. I told them why I punched Tommy and Benny high-fived me, complimenting the way my fist connected with Tommy’s jaw.

—----

We were supposed to leave in a few days after we had rested. We were supposed to get up early, take our freshly stocked packs and horses Jackson was willing to give us and go. We were supposed to be halfway to Colorado by now. But no. Raiders had been spotted several miles out by a patrol group and it was recommended we wait to leave. I get it but I hate it. Will suggested we offer to help out around town and I got stuck cleaning out animal pens and the rest of them got assigned to chopping wood. Except Ellie, who was welcomed to the local school. But I am mad. I wanted to go. I don't want to stay any longer around Tommy. 

About 6 days after we arrived, I make my way to the stables, stretching as much as I can in my puffy jacket to be ready to muck literal shit when a man approaches me. He’s maybe in his 40s, tanned skin, and light, dangerous looking eyes. 

“Ghost?” He asks as he walks up to me.

“Yeah…”I stop to look at him. 

“Hear you’re a great shot. Could use you today.”

I cross my arms. “I thought they don’t trust newcomers with patrol.”

He shakes his head. “Not patrol. On the wall.”

“Guard duty?”

“You rather shovel shit?” He raises his eyebrows.

I unfold my arms. “You got me there. Let’s go before the wind picks up.”

The man, named John, leads me to a small armory room in the back of a meeting house. The guard to that room unlocks the gate and hands me a sniper rifle and some rounds, locking the gate behind him. John turns on his heel and I follow him out and up the steps to the inner wall where there are some people spread about looking across the open field to the trees beyond. He leads me off to the side and points. 

“Here’s your post. Someone will relieve you for a lunch break and then again when it’s time to go. If you see anyone, infected or not, call it in and wait for orders. Understand?”

I nod. “Yeah. But I have to ask - why am I up here?”

He raises an eyebrow. “You complaining?”

I shake my head and grip the rifle a little tighter. “No. I just…you guys were pretty adamant about the shit shoveling and now I’m on guard duty?”

John reaches out and claps me on the shoulder. “You can thank Tommy. He told us we were wasting your talents back there. Told us how good of a shot you were and so we pulled you.”

Tommy? Why would he even care if I’m shoveling animal feces? Thoroughly confused but grateful to not be near animals for a day, I turn to my post, adjust my rifle, and start my shift, my mind unwillingly slipping to thoughts of Tommy. 

—----

“No, Will. Would you stop asking?”

He raises his hands in surrender. “All I’m sayin’ is you should talk to him, darlin’. There are 2 sides to every story.”

I stomp my foot. “I don’t care, Will. I just want out of here and away from him.”

Benny walks into the kitchen where Will and I were sitting at the table, Joel leaning against the counter, mug of coffee in hand. Ellie was already out with some of the kids she’s already made friends with. 

“You two talking about Tommy again?” Benny asks as he opens the fridge and grabs out a jar with clean water in it and pours a cup. 

Will opens his mouth but I cut him off. “NO. Well, yes but no I am not going to talk to him.”

“I think it would bring you closure, darlin’.”

“I highly doubt that. The man left me. He made his intentions very clear.”

“I don’t think you know the whole story.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh now he has a sob story-”

Benny slams his cup on the counter. “Oh my god! I am tired of hearing you guys talk about Tommy! Ghost, fight him or fuck him, we don’t care. Just get it done!”

My mouth drops open. “What?”

Benny walks up to me and takes my jaw in his large hand. “We love you, Ghost. But seriously, fight him or fuck him. Get it out of your system and over it. We need you clear headed when we go to Colorado.”

I can feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. “Well I think that only leaves me with the fight option.”

The room goes silent. I look around and all of them are pointedly not looking at me, kicking the ground or picking at something on their mug that’s suddenly become very interesting. “Wait…you guys are serious?”

Will shrugs. “I mean, technically, he is a Miller. And our brother. We told him the same thi-”

“Oh. My. God.” I stand up and walk out the back door, almost immediately regretting not grabbing my coat. I wrap my arms around myself and stare into our snow-covered backyard. Did they seriously think I could ever bring myself to let that man into my life again? The back door opens and quietly shuts, boots thudding softly on the porch. Joel wraps my coat around my shoulders and stands next to me, one hand on the porch railing, the other still holding his mug of coffee. He takes a long sip as we stand there in silence for several moments.

“I think you should talk to him, angel.”

I look up at Joel, his angled nose and dark eyes. Those curls that keep getting longer. The grey hairs seeping in more and more. He is getting more hot every day. But he was also the one that was most affected by the fight with Tommy and his supposed death. If Joel thinks I should talk to him….

“Really?”

He takes another sip and finally looks at me. “Yeah. We heard him out and I’m sure he left out some details, but knowing what you told us…I think you need to.”

“But-”

Joel turns his head slightly, asking me to wait. I close my mouth and nod. He clears his throat. “Angel, you need to clear the air with Tommy, not just for closure, but for all of us. This place? Jackson? It’s pretty good. Safe, secure. Has abundant food. Animals. A doctor. A place where one could settle down.”

Ah. “You think we should come back and live here after they get some blood from Ellie?”

He shrugs. “I think we’ll figure it out together. But I’m fairly positive this place is the best case scenario.”

Dammit. He’s right. And if we’re going to stay here, I can’t have that anger hovering over me. I don’t have to like him, but I will have to work with him.

I sigh. “So I can fight him, then?”

Joel chuckles, wrapping his arm around me, taking another sip. “Or fuck him.”

I nudge him with my shoulder. “Joel Miller! Do you not remember that I am married to 3 fine Miller men?”

He nods. “Of course. But Tommy is technically one of us so…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep that in mind between punches.”

“He’s also really ticklish on his lower right side rib.”

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

—----

The next night, I find myself walking up to Tommy’s front door, hand raised but hesitating over it. I finally convince myself to knock and it’s only a few moments before the door opens, and eyes that I thought I’d never gaze into again find mine.

“Ghost? Is everything ok?” His eyebrows are pulled together, worry spreading across his features.

My nod turns into a shrug. “Everyone’s ok.”

His shoulders drop a little in relief. “Oh, good.”

A few moments pass in silence. “Did you want to come in?”

Now or never, Ghost. “I uh…yeah. Can I?”

Tommy steps back, opening the door wider and gesturing inside. “Of course.”

I take a breath and walk inside, Tommy closing the door behind me. “You can hang your jacket there. If you want.” He gestures to a coat rack by the door. I take off my coat and hang it, unsure of really what to do. I kick off my boots for something to break the silent tension, lining them up next to his alongside the wall. It’s a modest sized house, a small living room with a nice fireplace, a kitchen off to the side, and a hallway with, I’m assuming, a bedroom and bathroom. Tommy gestures to the couch.

“Would you like to sit?”

“Oh. Yeah. Sure.” I walk around and sit on the couch, rubbing my legs a little as I figure out how to operate a human body, apparently. Tommy still stands off to the side awkwardly. He hitches a thumb over his shoulder.

“You want somethin’ to drink? I have water, tea, or whiskey.”

“Whiskey,” I say too fast, willing myself to stay cool. A smirk tugs up at the corner of Tommy’s lips as he nods. 

“Whiskey sounds good. I’ll be right back.” He turns and heads into the kitchen, out of sight but clanking around and emerges back with a cup of glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Not homemade. From before.

“Holy shit, Tommy. Pre outbreak whiskey?” I say amazed as he pops open the bottle. 

“Yeah. Found it just before I got to Jackson. Kept it stashed in my bag and only pull it out for special occasions.” 

“I'm a special occasion?”

He doesn't look at me, the tips of his ears turning a light shade of pink as he takes another sip. “You talkin’ to me is.”

My stomach flutters and I feel betrayed by my own body. I’m supposed to be mad, not turned on. I stare at my glass for another long moment before I find some courage to speak, albeit very quietly. 

“Why did you leave? Was I-” a lump forms in my throat as I say the words I've never said out loud. “-was I not good enough?”

Tommy's head snaps to me. “What? No. No! Why would you think that?”

I shrug. “Well, we had sex, me for the first time ever, and then you were gone. What else was I supposed to think?”

“Shit,” Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose. “I didn't think about…” he sighs, turning his body towards me slightly as he finally looks at me. “I've done a lot of shit in my life, honey. Some pre outbreak and some after. Some I…well, I guess I regret. I was not a good man for a while there until one day I got sick of it. Joined the Fireflies. Intended to keep my head low. Help people. Not get involved with anyone in particular. And then you came along.” He takes another sip and I grip my glass a little tighter as I watch him. “Of course I noticed you. You were young, too young. You were what..15? When we first met?”

“Yeah. 15 when we came to the fireflies. But I turned 16 shortly after.”

“Right.” He takes another sip. “Like I said. Young. Beautiful. Anyone could see that. And witty.” He chuckles. “You used to talk circles around everyone, poking fun and they never knew… anyway, one day Marlene asked me to hone your sniper skills. That you were pretty good already but could use some cleaning up. I followed my orders and took you to practice. And fuck did you surprise me. You weren't just pretty good. You were fucking fantastic. Just needed a little cleaning up which took you no time at all. Stealthy as shit. I remember that time you snuck up on me and had a knife to my throat before I could do anything.”

I chuckle, the memory flashing before my eyes. “Yeah. And you called me a little fucking Ghost.”

Tommy's smile lights up the room. “Yeah. I see you still use the nickname.” I can feel my cheeks heating up as I shrug a nod. Several moments pass, but the smile drifts down his face as he gathers his thoughts.

“I promised myself I wouldn't get attached to anyone. Let alone a 16 year old girl. But here you were. Smart, stubborn, beautiful, and a great shot. You listened when I talked and seemed to value what I had to say. And I… I was weak. You flirted, and I broke. I flirted right back, beating myself up every night over it, vowing to put it straight the next day. But then you'd say something clever and I'd forget all over again. The day you kissed me..” he trails off and gets lost for a moment. “That day, I knew I was in over my head. That I was absolutely going to break the vow I'd made for myself. I tried one last time to push you away, but I was kidding myself to think you didn’t feel how I felt. And then you asked..Well you asked me to…for your first time. And told me the reasons why. And I knew I had to give that to you. I owed it to you. But I also knew I had to leave after. I couldn't stay.”

“Why the fuck not?” My anger tastes bitter at the back of my throat as I try to hold back tears.

“Because. I couldn't let you be tied to an older, broken man. You deserved someone better. Someone with more hope than I had. Someone who hadn't been a piece of shit half their life. Someone who could make you proud. So I planned it so I could leave the next morning and not have you follow. Because I knew you would. But it was never because you were less than. It was me. I am the one who's less than.”

Older. Broken. A bad person. The anger and insecurity that had plagued me since that day fizzled out at his admission. That he wasn't good enough to stand with me. To be with me. It was his insecurity I was carrying with me, disguised as my own. My eyes well with tears as I watch him stare at his cup, tracing random lines on the glass with his thumb. I reach out and take the glass from his hand, setting it down next to mine on the coffee table. Tentatively, I take his hand in mine and squeeze it, his eyes dragging up to my face, glistening with shed tears. 

“Tommy, you were never a lesser man to me. You were the man I trusted not just with my body, but with my heart. I'd follow you anywhere.”

A single tear slides down his freckled cheek. “Still?”

I brush the tear away with my thumb. “Always.”

Tommy places his large hand on my cheek, his turn to swipe away my tears with his thumb. Slowly, he moves his hand around the back of my head, drawing me in towards him. My heartbeat races, pounding in my ears. He hesitates, lips just over mine, waiting for me to back away. When I don't, he brushes his lips against mine, hesitant. But then he kisses me again, his lips pressing harder against mine, his hand holding me closer to him as my hand fists his shirt, trying to pull him closer to me. His lips part mine, his tongue sliding in to dance with mine, a low moan emanating from him. His hand tangles in the hair at the back of my head and he pulls, breaking our kiss momentarily to stare into my eyes, a smile slowly spreading across his beautiful face. 

When our lips meet again, it’s frantic. Desperate, wanting, making up for all the years we’d spent apart. I toss my leg over his lap and straddle him, feeling him strain against his jeans. My hips move on their own, my face becoming more warm with desire. One of Tommy’s large hands grips my hip, fingers digging into it to steady me as he bucks up. I gasp, breaking our kiss and Tommy smirks, his hips making the same motion, jolts of pleasure radiating out from his contact. 

Then his lips are on me again, his hands moving under my thighs as he grips then and stands, not even breaking the kiss as he strides towards his bedroom, pausing once to push me against the wall, kissing down my neck and pulling me closer to him. Once inside his bedroom, he sets me down and reaches for my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. We make quick work of each other’s clothes, unbuttoning, moving zippers, and tossing them wherever they might land. I don’t rightly care because he’s kissing me again, his moustache tickling slightly as he walks me back towards the bed, the back of my knees hitting it. I sit and scoot back, breaking the kiss to watch his eyes darken as they rake over my body. 

He crawls over me, laying himself on me as he settles between my legs, his erection pinned between us. We make out some more, his hips grinding a little as he moves himself against my clit, moaning and gasping until neither of us can wait anymore. He pulls his hips back and pushes in and my head flies back, Tommy leaning his forehead on my shoulder as he bottoms out. We both take a moment and then he lifts his head, pinning my wrists above me in each of his hands as he gently slides out and pushes back in, each thrust with increasing force. He kisses me, swallowing my moans and when I can’t hold my mouth to his, moans whimes all I can manage, he shifts my wrists to one hand, the other holding to the head board to give him more leverage as he thrusts up and into me, hitting that magical spot that has me screaming his name only a handful of thrusts later. His curls fall foreward as he comes, gasping and panting my name as he spills himself inside of me. He waits a moment before pulling out, rolling to the side and pulling me towards him, nuzzling in my hair. 

“That was..fuck, honey. I was a fuckin’ idiot for leaving.”

“No argument here,” I chuckle. 

He kisses my neck, his hand moving between my legs, lazily exploring what he finds there. I grab his wrist and pull his hand away, his kisses stopping as I start to turn.

“Honey? You ok-”

I push him on his back, straddling him again. I grab each of his wrists, pinning them to the sides of his head as I iss him deeply, grinding my hips against him. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” I whisper in his ear. 

—----

About a week later, we’re all in the stables, Tommy helping us load up onto horses that Jackson gave us for the next leg of our journey.

“You sure I should stay?” Tommy asks, giving Ellie a hand up on her horse. “I can come.”

Joel shakes his head. “We need you here, Tommy. They need you here. Help keep the lights on and the walls safe so we have somewhere to come back to.”

Tommy studies his brother for a long moment and then nods. “I understand.” He walks around hugging his brothers, every one of them clapping him on the back. He stops at my horse and rechecks all of the buckles for the 20th time. 

“Tommy, the horse is fine. Help me up,” I ask, getting ready to mount the horse. He gives me a boost and waits for me to settle. I lean down and kiss him deeply, Joel complaining that there’s a child in the room and Benny laughing and saying “at least it wasn’t me this time.”

“Be safe, Ghost. I can’t lose you again.”

“You too. Keep it safe for us.”

“You can count on it.”

—----

“Are you trying to shoot it or get it pregnant?” Ellie jokes as Joel takes forever to line up a shot. But when he finally takes it, it nails the target that Ellie had proclaimed “impossible”.

“You asshole,” she mutters in awe.

Joel tries, and fails, to hide a smirk as he shrugs, Benny moving to set up another target.

It had been a couple weeks since we had left Jackson, our journey a little slower than we anticipated due to a couple of closed off paths from the bad snow storm that had come through. We had been taking turns teaching Ellie to shoot and defend herself and, despite his initial grumbling about her being a kid, Joel had dove right into teaching her. 

“Alright, tomorrow we should be arriving at UEC and meeting up with the Fireflies,” Joel announces as we all sit and nibble on cold jerky around a small fire, cuddling a little closer together for warmth. 

“Run through the plan again?” Will asks, his eyes bright and attentive. He was big on details. 

Joel swallows his bite of jerky and begins to tick things off on his fingers. “Get to UEC. Meet up with Fireflies. Have them take blood from Ellie. We all go back to Jackson. They make a cure. We restart humanity.”

Will chuckles. “I think you added a few steps at the end there.”

“I wonder if they can even make a cure,” I think out loud. Everyone stops and looks at me. “Sorry. Just..it's weird, right? I was told that there weren't any vaccines or cures for fungal infections before the outbreak. But maybe they found something out.”

“Way to be optimistic,” Ellie snickers, elbowing my arm. 

“I guess we'll find out.”

—----

The next day, we find ourselves at a small bridge that connects the road to the city proper. And not too far in our destination: UEC. 

Joel dismounts his horse, handing the reins to Ellie who remained seated. He walks to the edge of the bridge and inspects it, walking from side to side and even tapping his foot on the pavement. 

“Not too terrible. Should be ok.”

“With all of us and horses?” Benny questions, staring at the bridge.

Joel thinks for a moment. “This bridge isn't the main one. Just made for a few cars to go over it which is good and bad. Bad because it would be easier to break. Good because people may have not taken it, opting to find the main bridge over.”

We sit in silence as Joel mounts his horse again, Ellie holding on to him from behind. He turns and faces us. 

“We'll go first. If the bridge collapses or whatever, head to UEC and we'll meet up there. Got it?”

We all nod and get in a makeshift sort of line grouping near the start of the bridge. Joel and Ellie slowly make their way over and everything is going great - until a low rumbling catches our ears.

“Yah!” Joel digs his heels in and the horse bolts, just making it to the other side as the bridge collapses behind them. 

Fear spikes through me despite seeing them safe on the other side. A near death and now we're separated? I don't like it. Joel waves and gestures for us to find a way across. We wave our understanding and goodbyes, Joel and Ellie heading further into the city while we skirt the perimeter trying to find another way across. The next bridge is also crumbled to pieces. We ride for several hours and I'm convinced we've covered the entire state of Colorado by this point, but then Benny points it out. 

“There! Ain't that the main bridge?”

Sure enough, it was. We slowly make our way over, observing it for quite some time to make sure we were alone. Which we were. We make it to the other side with no issues, this bridge apparently indifferent to its neglect. We pick our way through the city and come out the other side, heading towards the UEC campus set back and up a slope. But when we get there, my stomach immediately seizes. 

“Something's wrong,” I whisper loud enough for Benny and Will to hear me. 

It's quiet. Too quiet. No sound of people, no sound of a science lab. And no sound of Joel or Ellie. Quietly, we dismount and head inside one of the buildings marked with a Firefly logo. It had been, at one point, a medical staging area, supplies scattered all around. Nothing of consequence to loot so we move forward, Will checking the map sign and figuring out what floor to go to. Maybe we'll find someone there?

Except we don't. It's empty. Abandoned. Not too long ago by the looks of it. Sometime in the last year maybe? But what's worse is no Joel or Ellie. My stomach cramps and my heart leaps into my throat. Where are they? 

Benny opens a door to a lab room, scaring the monkeys that were using it as a home. They scatter, running back through an opening in the side of the wall. 

“Where is everyone?” Benny asks, concern and worry lacing his tone. 

My eyes land on a billboard with a map and a bunch of push pins on specific locations. All pretty nuch leading to Salt Lake City. And next to it…

I move closer, reaching out to trace the hastily drawn Miller M that is tattooed on each of us. Joel.

“He was here,” I say quietly, unable to hold back a single tear that snakes it way down my cheek. Will and Benny stand on either side of me and I point to the M next to Salt Lake City. 

“That's his M alright,” Benny says just as quiet as me. “But why would he just leave?”

My stomach twists again. “Something probably happened and they needed to get out. I mean, we took several hours to get here. A lot can happen.”

Will nods, solemn. “Let's have a look out back. Maybe the had to leave in a hurry and there'll be some way to track them.”

We leave the room and out the back door instead of the main entrance, snow still blanketing the area. We all fan out, unsure of what we'll find until I spot it, unmistakable against the stark white contrast of the snow. 

Blood. 

“Will! Benny!” I yell, willing the tears to stop as I stare down at the small pool. They come up beside me. 

“We don't know if that's theirs, darlin’” Will says. 

Benny points. “I think it might be. Look, theres hoof prints. And,” he kneels down, picking up something small and metal from the snow. “Ellie’s knife.”

We all nod at each other and head back to our horses, quickly following the hoofprints out of town, desperate and afraid of what we'll find at the end of them.

—----

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[street-smarts00]

party 4 you - SNEAK PEAK

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

I’ve been working on this for weeks and I’m kinda almost done with it hopefully I can have it posted in a week or two. This one’s gonna be long, I’m already at 7k words I predict it’s gonna be like 10k teehee

As you flattened out the dough with a rolling pin a figure appeared from the dimly lit hallway.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked once he noticed your presence. His voice was laced with sleep.

“Making cookies,” you answered, grabbing the cookie cutters.

He walked closer to the kitchen island and leaned his forearms on the counter. “Why are you making cookies at one in the morning?”

“Stress baking.”

There was a pause as he watched you cut flower shapes out of the dough.

“Can’t sleep?”

You shrugged without looking up, “something like that.” You didn’t feel like elaborating.

This guy you barely know definitely does not want to be hearing about how you can’t sleep from anxiety. He didn’t need to hear that after the last mission you went on with the team your brain was constantly screaming at you all the things you did wrong and could’ve done better.

“Do you do this a lot?” he gestured towards your work. "Bake in the middle of the night?”

“I have once or twice. It also helps that no one is coming and going so I get some peace and quiet.”

Bucky visibly tensed at your explanation, “sorry I ruined it.”

Your head perked up immediately to prove him wrong. “It’s alright, you didn’t.”

He looked relieved to hear that.

“What are you making?”

“Sugar cookies, but I’m gonna put icing on when they’re done.” You placed the cut out dough on the baking sheet.

Your stomach coiled with nerves before speaking again. “I could save you some. If you want,” you said in a quieter voice.

His eyes softened and he smiled back at you. “That’d be great, thanks.”

As you continued placing cookie dough on the sheet he walked over the fridge to fetch what he came down to the kitchen for.

Now that the room was quiet he could fully process the music that was playing in the background. For a moment, he stared at the inside of the fridge as he listened to the beginning notes of the next song.

He finally grabbed the bottle of water and closed the fridge door before eyeing you with a quirked brow.

“Billie Holiday?”

You looked up from the cookies in confusion. You momentarily registered the song playing in the background was “What a Little Moonlight Can Do” by Billie Holiday. One of the songs from the list he gave you.

“Oh yeah I finally made my own playlist. Most of the songs are the ones you gave me,” you grabbed the baking sheet and carefully placed it in the oven.

“You liked the songs?” His voice sounded like it had a hint of surprise.

You nodded as the corners of your mouth perked into a grin. “I do yeah. They’re really good. It’s different from the normal stuff I listen to but it’s really growing on me.”

Joy inched its way onto his face as he listened to you. “I’m glad.”

You leaned back against the counter and took off the apron you were wearing. “You have good taste in music.”

The ends of his ears turned red as he smiled at you, “Thanks.”

Silence returned to the kitchen. you both stood there not knowing what to say next. The air between you was thick, like you wanted to say more but couldn’t find the words.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Radiant

Summer of Bad Batch 2025 | Week 1 | Prompt: Late Night Beach Walks

Summary: A sunrise yields an epiphany. (Or: Tech and Phee's first kiss.) POV: Tech Rating: PG (Word Count: 2975)

Read on Ao3

Note: Most of my Tech Lives fics so far have Tech returning post-epilogue. For this story, however, I imagine Tech was rescued and reunited with his family on Pabu no later than a year or two after Tantiss falls; and events here take place a few months after.

          Tech, standing in the front yard with his datapad in hand, heard footsteps approaching and smiled to himself as he looked toward the path leading up to the front door. A large tree partially obstructed his view of the walkway at this angle, but within moments the visitor rounded the corner and neared the entrance to the yard, the light of the full moon clearly revealing her identity.

          "You're up early,” Phee greeted him as she walked into the yard.

          Tech glanced down at the local time displayed on the datapad. "This is the time we agreed upon."

          "Yes, but I didn't think you'd be waiting outside already."

          "Crosshair did warn us that if we woke him up, even inadvertently, he'd use us for target practice,” he reminded her.

          She shook her head incredulously. "You didn't take that threat seriously, did you?"

          "Of course not.” Crosshair knew full well that retribution would come when he least expected it if he tried to follow through on such a threat. He might be willing to risk it with Tech, but he knew better than to try it with Phee. “However, Crosshair would complain loudly enough to wake up Batcher, which would delay our departure enough that we would likely miss it."

          She laughed quietly at this. “And trust me, you don’t want to miss this. Very well, then, Brown Eyes, let’s go.” And she gestured for him to follow her, waiting as he stowed his datapad before she led the way out of the yard.

          Phee had returned to Pabu two days ago after retrieving another artifact and, in the course of catching up with the Bad Batch, had mentioned wanting to show Tech a sunrise on Pabu. Tech and Phee had been on more than a few outings together since he had finally reunited with his family, but Tech couldn’t quite see the point of this excursion.

          “I’ve been up before dawn plenty of times before,” he had said.

          Phee had smiled knowingly. “You have not seen a sunrise like this before, not from where we’ll be standing.”

          “Oh!” Omega had suddenly exclaimed. “Are you taking him…?” At Phee’s nod, Omega had turned to him enthusiastically. “Tech, you need to go. Lyana showed me the place before, and told me that Phee showed her. It’s amazing!”

          The others had made their excuses – Crosshair in particular making it abundantly clear that he would not wake up before the sun was fully risen unless in life-or-death circumstances – and Tech found he was glad: he enjoyed the time Phee spent with him and the entire family, but he also enjoyed the times the two of them spent alone together, and he found himself looking forward to this event.

          Now, they took the path all the way down to the beach before trekking along the shoreline to the side of the island that faced the sunrise. It was almost two hours before dawn, and while Tech knew their destination was some distance away, he also knew they could easily make the trip in a little over an hour if they wanted to. He suspected Phee didn't want to rush, though, and he certainly wouldn't object to spending more time with her. 

          They walked along the beach, just beyond the reach of the waves, as Phee told Tech more of what she knew about the Fluti tribe and why the handheld musical instrument she had recovered on her latest trip was so significant to their culture. 

          “Myorka says the tradition among her people was to learn how to play the instrument once reaching ten years of age,” Phee continued. “She learned the instrument just before she and her family had to flee.”

          “And you say the instrument was part of a religious ritual?”

          “Yes. Ancient Fluti tradition worshipped the sun. They had a yearly ceremony involving music to chase away dark spirits that threatened to eat the sun.”

          “I would presume they were observing a solar eclipse,” Tech theorized, pulling his datapad from his belt to double check his facts and made a few quick mental calculations as he continued, “Based on the orbital patterns of Flutona and its two moons, they would indeed experience an eclipse every year. And it is a common trend in primitive cultures to consider eclipses of any kind to be a supernatural phenomenon.”

          “Can’t say I blame those cultures for thinking that,” Phee said with a soft laugh. “First time I saw an eclipse was on Yrpac when I was nineteen years old. I knew what it was, but I still would have described it as supernatural.” She let out a small sigh. “What about you, have you and your brothers ever seen an eclipse?”

          “Yes, on Trepadin, during the war,” Tech replied. “The darkness in the middle of the day certainly helped us complete our mission objective even more quickly than usual.”

          “I can imagine,” Phee said, before tilting her head. “Wait, did you actually plan your mission to coincide with the eclipse?”

          “It wasn’t the original plan, no; but we did move up the timeline of our operation when I discovered an eclipse was imminent. It was coincidental, though fortunate, that the operation took place within the path of totality.”

          “The path of what?”

          “The path of totality, the path across the planet’s surface that falls within the track of the umbra.”

          Phee nodded. “And the umbra would be…?”

          “The umbra is the area in which the moon’s shadow completely blocks the light of the sun,” Tech began before launching into a more detailed explanation of the types and phases of solar eclipses, with the conversation turning naturally toward lunar eclipses as well as the factors influencing the frequency and appearance of these phenomena on any given planet. He had just finished answering Phee’s query as to when Pabu would likely next experience a solar eclipse when he suddenly realized they had come to a halt, Phee having silently guided him to a stop by putting a hand on his arm while still paying attention to his explanation.

          “Why did we stop?” he asked now.

          Phee nodded to her left, indicating they needed to turn inland. “This way. We need to approach from below.”

          Within a few feet, the light from the stars and the moon was obscured by thickening foliage, rendering the glowrods necessary. A few feet further, and Tech could now see a narrow, less-defined path lined with small boulders leading upwards.  

          Tech knew the geography of Pabu well enough by this point to know they were nearing a freshwater stream that met the ocean in the form of a waterfall cascading from one of the island’s highest cliffs. He and his brothers had gone with Omega and Batcher to explore along the stream and the top of the falls several times before; this was the first time he had ever taken a trail from below leading up toward the waterfall.

          The trail was far enough removed from the waterfall that, even when they climbed high enough that Tech could make out the sound of the waterfall over the soft roar of the ocean below, the path remained dry, so the hike, while strenuous, wasn’t treacherous. A short distance away from the summit, the path curved around the cliff face; here, the ground started to become somewhat slick, but as the path had widened and leveled out and was still lined with large rocks that acted almost as a natural guardrail, the last leg of the trek proved to be the easiest part. By this point the stars had faded in the graying sky, marking the coming dawn, and the glowrods were no longer necessary.

          They neared the end of the trail, and Tech, inferring their ultimate destination, scrambled nimbly over the small boulder that partially concealed the cave entrance before turning to offer his hand to Phee as she followed. She readily accepted his assistance, and when she reached the ground she didn't relinquish his hand, instead gently squeezing it as she turned in the darkness of the shallow cave to face the calm gray stillness beyond the cave entrance. Tech gave a small smile that she didn't see. They had been holding hands more frequently as of late, and he had to admit he quite enjoyed this physical touch.

          The shallow cave was positioned some distance down from the cliff’s edge and was adjacent to the flow of the water, to where Tech could feel droplets hitting his face from the spray it created, but the cave opening was not obscured by the waterfall.

          “How did you find this place?” he asked.

          “Just happened across it when I was exploring, a few months after I first came to Pabu,” she replied. “It was broad daylight at the time, but then I thought it would make a great place to watch the sun come up.” She chuckled. “And I was right.”

          They now fell into companionable silence, standing together as the sky continued to brighten, blue-gray turning shades of pink and orange with hints of blueish purple. So far, a typical sunrise considering Pabu’s atmosphere, Tech mused to himself.

          Now, the sun peeked over the horizon, and Phee glanced at him with a grin brimming with quiet enthusiasm before she focused again on the view. He smiled at her anticipation as she stepped nearer to him, her shoulder brushing his.

          Based on the setting and their position relative to the waterfall, he had already guessed what would happen, and his prediction was accurate: the glowing ball of light intensified the colors in the sky, with the panorama reflected in the ocean below. As expected, the water splashing merrily nearby soon caught the light of the sun's rays, giving the appearance of golden droplets falling through the air and creating miniature flickering rainbows across the cave opening. Tech surreptitiously glanced at Phee, appreciating her profile and the soft contented smile on her face as she gazed avidly at the sight before them.

          Given all they had learned about each other as they had spent more time together, Tech understood why Phee was so enthralled by the spectacle. Of course, he, too, recognized how objectively stunning this view of the sunrise was, though his thoughts were focused less on the scene itself and more on analyzing why he had recently been associating phenomena such as this with Phee and what he knew of her character. Phee fully appreciated beauty and unique traits; but, more than that, she had a knack for finding beauty everywhere around her – in nature, culture, history, even people.

          Perhaps this is why he was finding himself increasingly fascinated by her.

          He had been studying this question out in his mind for weeks, trying to identify what it was about Phee that he liked so much. There was something about her that made him enjoy being around her; what’s more, he wanted to make her smile, and he wanted her to find him trustworthy and dependable. Of course, he could say the same for his brothers and sister - he was comfortable around them, he wanted them to be happy and safe and be able to rely on him - but with Phee it felt... different, somehow. Why?

          The sun rolled higher over the horizon, rays of light now directly illuminating the cave, and another rainbow danced across Tech’s field of vision. And his thoughts turned again to pondering the characteristics that lent to Phee’s ability to light up, with her mere presence, any space she was in…

          "You're awfully quiet,” Phee’s voice broke through his musings, and he blinked to find her looking at him with humor in her eyes. “I was expecting some kind of lesson on the properties of light and refraction angles or something."

          "We discussed that in detail yesterday." Tech knew he had a reputation for being loquacious, though he still didn’t quite understand how he had gotten this reputation, as he never talked simply for the sake of talking. No, whenever he talked it was for a purpose; and since he had already told Phee everything he knew about the science behind light, there was no purpose now in revisiting the topic, not unless she asked for a review.

          Phee chuckled, a reaction he felt as well as heard given their proximity and continued hand-to-hand contact. "So we did. Well then, what do you think of it?" she asked as she gestured toward the view beyond the cave opening.

          He frowned thoughtfully at the rising sun as he considered how to answer – what did he think of the sunrise itself? He had largely been thinking of Phee the past fifteen minutes. "It makes me think of you,” he said honestly.

          "Oh?" He was still looking out over the ocean, but he could hear the puzzlement in her voice and knew she wanted more of an explanation as to how his thought process had connected two very different subjects.

          He sighed internally – he should have launched into an objective explanation of how different atmospheric conditions would affect the qualities of a sunrise, rather than venturing into more personal responses. Still, Phee had asked a question, and he wanted to make himself clear to her, even if he wasn’t sure how.

          "Yes,” he said, brow still furrowed as he tried to find words to explain his meaning. It was so easy to talk about facts and data and events from an objectively technical viewpoint; it was much more challenging to quantify emotional responses. “It's... radiant."

          She shifted away from him, and he turned to look at her, momentarily wondering if he had said something to upset her – but no, her stunned expression rapidly melted into something warm and inviting, and she brought her free hand up to his chest.

          "I'm going to kiss you, Brown Eyes," she announced. She leaned in slowly, as if to give him time to back away if he wanted to; but for reasons he couldn't quite explain, he didn't want to. Her eyes were locked on his, studying his reaction, her eyelids fluttering shut only when she was a hair's breadth away from him.

          Her lips met his, and he momentarily lost his bearings. What began as a heady rush of sensations, warm and tingling and sweet, proceeded to trickle through him from his head all the way down to his toes; and he peripherally registered that he was still holding Phee’s hand, reactively squeezing it tightly as an anchor against this strange but certainly not unpleasant swirl of feeling that was about to sweep him away.

          She gently pulled her head back, ending the kiss, and the world seemed to stutter to a halt as his brain raced ahead a million miles an hour, thinking of all the ways Phee opened new vistas of thought and perspective and experience for him and the animated way she told stories of her adventures to a wider audience and the quiet way she told more personal stories to him and the way she tilted her head with her focus never wavering from him as she intently listened to him share his own stories and the way she sought out time with him and the way she comfortably interacted with his family and the way she was so kind to her friends and was so stubborn and self-assured with her rivals and the way her quick wit and compassionate heart and cleverness and confidence made him feel so alive.

          He had wondered occasionally, with clinical curiosity, what romantic love might feel like. Now, as all these thoughts of Phee collided with a positive explosion of emotions, he knew his curiosity had been satisfied.

          He didn't just like Phee. He loved her. Romantically.  

          A kiss, particularly one on the lips, was a well-known way to express one's romantic inclinations for another. If Phee's action was indeed an indication she felt some level of romantic affection for him, perhaps she would allow him to indulge in such an expression of his feelings for her in the future...

          He was brought back to his surroundings only when a slim brown hand waved across his field of vision.

          "Oh great, I think I just broke you," Phee muttered, looking concerned and even a little insecure.

          Tech reached out with his free hand, blindly finding Phee's elbow and running his hand down her forearm until he gripped her other hand in his – he needed the extra point of contact to keep himself steady. "I was just considering that I would like to experience that again," he managed to say, a trifle stiffly as he forced his voice out around the emotions that clogged his throat. "With you. Often."

          Phee's expression relaxed into a smile, all trace of self-doubt gone. "Well, you don't need to tell me twice," she said as she leaned into him again, the warm intention in her eyes sending another pleasant thrill of anticipation through him; and this time, he was cautiously prepared to reciprocate her display of affection.

          His mind was still racing, faster than even his heart, and he realized with a small surge of panic that he hadn't had a chance to ask Phee if she was indeed aware of some of the implications of this type of intimacy, if she knew this was the first time he had kissed anybody and if she was comfortable with that, if there was something he should do to make the experience more enjoyable for her, if...; but as he gave into the subconscious impulse to move his hands to her waist and draw her closer, felt her sigh softly against his lips, his thoughts quieted as he focused on how much light she brought to his life, and how much he cherished her for it.

          And he decided that, perhaps, his questions could wait.

@summer-of-bad-batch @summer-of-bad-batch-reblogs

[xcherrycolaxx]

For Kingdon Week, I’m posting a new WIP on Thursday (I know, I KNOW). I just wanted to post a snippet of it to get opinions and some feedback if anyone has time!

Essentially, it’s an AU and Frank is in a band and Mel owns a ballet studio. They happen to live across the hall from each other and despite his attempts to ignore her, Frank just doesn’t have it in him and they slowly fall in love from across the hall.

“Someone’s moving into Mrs. Abernathy’s old apartment,” Becca said, peering through the peephole at the door across the hall. She had been eyeing the door for a week now, waiting to see who was moving in. Becca knew she got her nosiness from her mom. They always stood outside when cops would drive by, or if a neighbor was being rolled into an ambulance.

“Finally,” Mel exaggerated. “Mean ass old lady,” she uttered mostly to herself. “Hopefully the new neighbors aren’t so mean.”

“I hope not,” Becca stood there observing just a little longer. “I’m trying to get a glimpse of the person that moved in, but it’s only the movers.”

“I’m sure you’ll see them soon. Come on, go get dressed, I have to be at the studio, I have an early class today,” Mel rushed around the kitchen, shoving an apple in her mouth, holding it there while she packed her bag.

“Fine,” Becca said with a deep, dramatic sigh before shuffling her way down the hallway.

Mel plopped her duffle bag on the table, shuffling through the contents to make sure she had all of the things she needed: her pointe shoes, a few leotards, leggings, some snacks. “Race you downstairs!” Becca ran past her, getting dressed at the speed of light. She always had her clothes picked out for the week, hanging up in her closet on color-coded hangers.

“Wait, hang on,” Mel tried to stop Becca from racing out the front door, but she was already down the hall. Mel just sighed and rolled her eyes; she hated being rushed. Granted, it was her fault, she stayed up late watching one of the Real Housewives with Becca and she slept in late.

Picking up her half-eaten apple, tossing her bag over her shoulder, Mel hurried out of her apartment, pulling on the front door, making sure it was securely locked. She whipped around to try and catch Becca, but she accidentally stumbled into someone else, her duffle bag falling off of her shoulder and she dropped the apple.

“Oh god,” Mel fumbled around, hiking the bag up her shoulder and picking up the apple she had to throw away now. “I’m so sorry,” she finally turned to the person she ran into. She felt her breath hitch in her throat.

Standing in front of her was the most attractive person she’s probably ever laid eyes on. He was tall, with dark hair that flipped perfectly and the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen, tattoos ran up his right arm and he had a silver hoop in his nose. The stranger was just standing there with a guitar case on his back and a box in his hands, she couldn’t tell if he was annoyed, his expression neutral. “No worries,” he finally said, even his voice was sexy.

Frank was having a mini crisis when he took in the sight of the little, blonde woman in front of him. He literally just got out of divorce court, he was warding off love and relationships forever, promising himself he would work on the next album with a clear mind. And then this cute little thing stumbles into him with her golden fucking hair and her tight leggings.

She was flushed, which is something he was used to when girls would talk to him and sometimes even less, look at him. “I’m Mel, I live across the hall,” she pointed over her shoulder.

Great, she lives across the hall.

“Earnie is a nice old man, he lives in 816,” she pointed to the apartment to the right of his apartment. “And he thinks the place is haunted, so if you hear him mumbling about a Gunther, that’s the ghost on our floor. Just play along, he usually goes away after a minute or two. My good friend Samira lives in 815, she’s a doctor, so useful to have around.”

He didn’t mean to come off as hostile and cold but being friendly and kind usually got him stuck in some messy situations. Plus, he’s attracted to this girl, best move is to squash that now and pretend she doesn’t exist.

“Thanks for the rundown. I gotta go,” he nodded his head towards his apartment before abruptly turning, slamming the door behind him. Even he winced when the door shut loudly.

Mel jumped back, that exchange felt very weird, and then he proceeds to slam the door in her face. Noted, he was just a younger, hotter, male version of Mrs. Abernathy. Shaking off the encounter, she made her way to the lobby to find Becca. Mel was annoyed she stopped to talk to him, she was late as it was and then she tried to be neighborly to that douchebag.

Becca was talking the poor doorman’s ear off; she had her mother's gift of gab—she could talk to anyone about anything. “Good morning, Arturo,” Mel said to the morning doorman.

“Good morning, Mel,” he tipped his hat. “Becca was telling me someone finally moved into 818.”

Mel had to pull Becca away from Arturo. She yelled over her shoulder, “Sure did! He’s a jerk! See you later Arturo!”

“Wait,” Becca slowed down, “you met the new neighbor? Tell me about him.”

“Well,” Mel nodded, “he’s very good-looking he’s got dark hair, blue eyes, an arm of tattoos, and I assume he plays music, but I tried to tell him about the neighbors and just ya know, be friendly and he slammed his door in my face, so he’s a jerk.”

“Damn,” Becca shook her head. “Better luck next time.”

“Third time’s the charm,” Mel agreed, dragging Becca down the busy New York street.

[deerdoegone]

ur newport dee aur is so cute i love horror drs! just a question tho how are vampires like in ur dr? or is it the twilight/tvd vampire fusion? also idk if u mentioned but im lowkey getting twin peaks vibes from this dr..

i have never ran to my desk so fast because vampire anatomy is my favorite thing ever. this also sprinkles in what exactly happened to nathan and all that fun stuff. takes place from his perspective. also yes!!!!! total twin peak vibes is what i really wanna give off like this town is odd but everyone acts as if there is a grain of normalcy to everything. i'm too lazy to do a full-blown breakdown of everythingggggg as much as i love vampire anatomy, so, this mostly goes over the basic changes. if you want a full-blown post, i'll do it......... just now not c: WESTPORT'S INTRODUCTION.

THE ACT OF LOSING WHO YOU ONCE WERE: when you walk home at night, there is always a cold feeling resting on your shoulder. maybe you're stumbling, laughing with your best friend as you exit the small hole-in-the-wall bar where you saw a local band, but can't shake the feeling about the older guy who was staring at you the entire night. you don't see him amongst the crowd of people exiting as DIRTY DINA'S closes for the night. you both took the bus to save on gas, so you began the ten-minute walk to the bus stop. it's an awkward chat because your mind is occupied by so many things, looking down at the cracked pavement. it's been a rough few weeks and you must return to normalcy once more. except you don't. things change about you that night and days go by before you wake up, gasping against the local wooden floor in the same place you were attacked, laying on your stomach unharmed. unharmed. you survived, drenched in your own dried blood and the blood of your attacker, who is nowhere to be seen. at first, you think only an hour or two has gone by.

four days have passed, and your former anatomy has degraded. your mouth aches. your teeth's enamel has been worn down and now holds deposits, granting you ability to retract and emerge your canines, feeling them stretch and curve in discomfort at the sensation. it's a struggle at first to actually retract them, trying to figure out the right "command", before dragging your tongue over unbrushed, bloodied teeth to make sure you aren't going crazy. by the time you have stumbled out and are back on the main road, your head burns as a truck passes by, honking its horn after you nearly collide with it. your vision is blurred, and you're still dizzy; you barely saw it coming. you have developed the same tissue a majority of animals have, tapetum lucidum, and see much better than your former peers—it's reflective, making your eyes appear an opaque, glowing ivory at the right angles, which can be hidden. it's your first time using it, so your eyes haven't fully adjusted, the reason for your blurriness. once you finally calm down, you realize your senses are heightened: smell, sight, hearing, even the feeling of your clothes has become too much. you claw at yourself, digging your cold fingers into your hoodie. your entire body is freezing, but it causes no discomfort, and you can only shrug it off as you continue your walk for help. at some point, you deeply sigh out of frustration at how overstimulated you are, but nothing picks back up into your lungs. you aren't breathing. your heart doesn't beat. there is no blood flow happening inside you. your brain has shrunk. you show all signs of being dead.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GREED AND GLUTTONY: your diet has also changed. there are many that vampires follow, such as animals, which is often done by vampires who fear getting caught or have a very strong conscious. most go for small animals that don't stand a chance against their undead hunters while others tend to go for deer. as common of a side otpion opposed to the main course, it doesn't compare and has many cons. despite your strict ties to this diet, you tire easily, it takes longer to regenerate, and your shiny new skills have numbed—you find yourself a threat to everyone but your own kind or others in situations like yourself.

there is also something symbolic about most vampires in westport's reality going for deer on an animal diet, and the first person nathan thought of was aaliyah doe, who is the symbolic embodiment of deer.

[the---hermit]

here's a link to the free pfd of Ur-Fascism by Umberto Eco. It's a 10 pages long essay in which the author talks about his own experience with fascism and then tries to list the 14 elements that make up fascism in all its historical forms.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Hey there, are you ok?

hey! thank you for checking up on me, this was really sweet!

i SWEAR i did not die. i just got a bit busy doing SladeRobin Week (which i will finish so help me god-) as well as things in my real life. i'm still trying to find the balance of like. fandom creation and working. i am very lucky to have the living situation that i do rn, but it is the sort of schedule where i do have to be ready to watch a baby at really any given point so. it's a tricky balance right now, but i'm going to be active here again! maybe not as many asks answered a day as before, but i want to try to answer like, a few a day and whatnot.

i also think i got briefly overwhelmed, in that i got more asks faster than i answered them. which is the opposite of a problem and something i'm very lucky for! but it did make it difficult for me to keep up and know what to answer next. (this is *not* a discouragement to sending asks! i love them all and pls send as many as you want! i just am a little slow sometimes so i appreciate the patience! <3)

so! i'm back and i'm good, ty for asking! we are back to the regularly scheduled programming <3

[deoidesign]

.

[cosmogyros]

I'm going to lose itttttttttttt

November was my first month of unemployment; I got my benefits for the month on December 6.

The Agentur für Arbeit did not pay me for December, without explanation, and once I called their headquarters and complained, I got a double payment at the start of February (covering the months of December and January, I guess).

Then they messaged me that they're stopping my benefits, and that they would explain why "in a separate letter". Guess what: I never got the separate letter!!!

And now I've received a letter from my health insurance implying that if I'm really not receiving any unemployment benefits anymore, I may be in danger of losing my health insurance.

COME ON, GERMANY. How hard can it be to just send me a certain amount of money every month? Why has there been some stressful technical issue around receiving my benefits EVERY month since this has started?

I'm basically staying at home all day every day and barely living my life because I constantly don't know if I'm going to have an empty bank account at the end of the month or if I'll actually get paid this time. This is so fucking stressful and I hate it. Why is the AfA SO dysfunctional?

And more importantly, why the hell would they cancel my benefits with no explanation??? Also they just informed me on Friday that I've still got a meeting scheduled with my advisor, for March 18. But like... why would they be scheduling meetings with me after having randomly stopped my benefits? Surely if my benefits are canceled, that means I'm not a "client" of theirs anymore.

This is so stressful omfg. I technically have enough money to cover rent for a few more months, but then my entire life savings would be gone and I'd still be in debt and jobless. And that doesn't sound like a pleasant prospect 🙃

I know I am legally entitled to get 1500 euros a month, every month, for ONE WHOLE YEAR. Even the AfA themselves sent me an official document stating that.

But in practice, I've had to fight tooth and nail to get those benefits for even three months, and now they're suddenly like, "Oh we're not gonna give you any more money, AND we won't tell you why either :3 Byeeee!" So I'm mad af. WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME THE REASON YOU'RE CUTTING ME OFF?!?!??!??

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

this is my little girl 💖

she’s running low on time with us, and my dad has been saying things along the lines of ‘this is why I don’t like pets’, because he finds the grieving process so hard.

I don’t fault him for that, he just feels loss deeply and deals with it differently.

sometimes I even find myself falling briefly into the same thinking. ‘what if making a different choice all those years ago saved me and my family from this grief and this pain?’

but I also know there’s no way I would make a different decision. no amount of grief could outweigh the joy she’s brought us over these last fifteen years. the laughter, the comfort, the connection.

I think about hikes with my dad when she was tiny and able bodied and would race up ahead of us on the trails and then race back to check on us. I think about the first time she saw snow and she instantly turned into a tiny fluffy bunny rabbit, hopping through drifts that were ankle deep for us but nearly buried her, and the matted snowballs she came away with, looking like a tiny curly haired yeti.

I think of her interrupting GrammE and John’s wedding along with Sagie, confusion turning into laughter as they sped after each other across the backyard ceremony. I think of my mom, lonely on the island and isolated during covid, telling me that Ginger was her saving grace.

and these don’t even scratch the surface. fifteen years of love she’s given us.

so yeah. losing her is going to damn near break me and I know that. but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

[avirael]

The Frozen Lake

It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.

About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.

He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.

While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.

That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones…

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.

Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.

“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.

Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.

“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.

Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.

Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.

“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.

A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”

Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”

“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.

Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”

A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”

That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.

“Still… why did you leave?”

“I assumed Rael told you…”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you…”

A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.

“You know the… circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah… I couldn’t… um… the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends… I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t…”

“Mhh…”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”

Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.

Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.

“Alright… I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.

“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”

“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.

“Why not?”

A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.

“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.

Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”

“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”

“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”

What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.

“Fine.”

“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”

After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.

Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.

Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.

From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.

“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”

A’viloh nodded.

“They do. Thank you very much for these.”

Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do…”

But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”

“Mhhh…”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”

A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.

So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.

“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?

Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.

“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.

“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.

Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”

For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.

Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...

While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.

“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”

Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.

After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”

A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.

“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”

“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.

As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.

The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.

“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.

Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.

But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.

Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.

Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.

With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.

“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.

“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.

Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”

“Maybe…”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”

The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”

A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”

Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”

“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”

Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”

A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy…”

“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”

He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine…”

“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”

Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”

“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”

“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-… I mean I‘ve never-… You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.

“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.

“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”

The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”

“I don’t know…”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”

Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”

For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.

“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose… Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall…”

Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.

With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”

“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.

“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”

Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before…”

In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.

He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”

But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”

For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.

And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.

---

inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti

[seventh-district]

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[orcelito]

Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this