#i have gone on the op's blog in their tag to check too but i dont do that everytime

[lelianaslefthand]

how i feel looking for the pronouns of a pretty oc i see on my dash so i can yell about them in the tags properly

[everythingsinred]

not about ga but I wanted to know if you have ever found yourself blocked and you have never interacted with that person before?

yeah i'm sure i have. i don't really remember any specific incident, and that's because i don't really care if someone i don't know doesn't like my blog for whatever reason.

it's honestly not a big deal. i myself block pretty liberally in the interest of keeping my tumblr experience as tolerable as possible. i stopped using social media as much and tumblr is really the only site i'm still using, and i'm uninterested in seeing content i don't like for the little time i spend on here. if i dont like a post that's been showing up on my dash, ill block op so that post and others like it don't show up anymore. if a take even mildly annoys me i'll probably block. personally, i have a couple of automatic block criteria that i don't even have to think about:

on a very serious level, if op is in any way a balkan-area nationalist i block. that's incredibly personal to me and not worth keeping someone around for. it's different from other fundamentalist and nationalistic causes to me bc i can recognize it rly easily but ppl i follow might not be as good at it. i've actually unfollowed people for reblogging too much from those blogs, who sometimes disguise themselves as comedian blogs. the meme is not funny to me if op celebrates dead children and war crimes (pro-tip, in general stay away from ppl who have a country flag as their profile pic w/ very few exceptions lol). i don't really see american or other nationalists on my dash so it's not something i concern myself with.

on a much different and less serious level, since i'm following the GA tag, if someone posts something i don't like (especially natsume hate) then i will block. i check that tag everyday and the fandom is too small for voices like that to get drowned out so i clean the tag for myself to not have to look at that nonsense. even if someone is just passing through, if they share a take on the tag that i don't like, they're gone.

if you've recently found out someone has blocked you and you've never interacted with them before, honestly it's okay. you don't know this person and they don't really know you. it could be over something as simple as a difference of opinion over fandom or they mistook you for someone else or something else. just shrug it off and move on. i would not recommend asking them WHY you were blocked or attempting to pursue further contact. if you never contacted them before, why should you start now?

this happens all the time, anon. social media and especially tumblr is subject to a high level of curating. people mold their own spaces and blocking is something i would VERY MUCH recommend as opposed to starting pointless arguments or even just allowing your social media space to become unpleasant. once i started blocking liberally, even over tiny things, i noticed i was a lot less annoyed using this site. things don't bother me as much anymore. it's just tumblr. it's not real life. it doesn't matter.

[nerdangels]

Tagged by @coulson-is-an-avenger thanks hawthorn <3

1- Why did you choose your url?

Soup of natural reasons. Specifically from the quote "word of advice, don't piss off the nerd angels" after cas beats up dean in the alley

2- Any side blogs?

Technically i have very many but the only one that's active is @clusterhugmp3 my bandom sideblog

3- How long have you been on tumblr?

I made this blog in 2010 or '11. Jesus christ

4- Do you have a queue tag?

I've gone through many queue tags but now i mostly dont care about using a queue. For the rare occasions that i do put stuff on a queue on my sideblog, the tag there is "only if you'd like me to i could fall in love with queue"

5- Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Umm made an account for vague blogging reasons but stayed for the panic at the disco bandom

6- Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Cas <3 i made it myself to match the colors of my header and the bi flag

7- Why did you choose your header?

Spooky tma vibes. It was on a post w other tma headers but the op either deleted or changed their url so now the credit link doesnt work :/

8-What’s your post with the most notes?

I think some stupid superwholock post that blew up back in 2014. Or a gravity falls gifset

9- How many mutuals do you have?

I have no idea.. Do ppl actually know how many mutuals they have lol

10- How many followers do you have?

2200+ but i can guarantee that 80% are inactive

11- How many people do you follow?

966 omg

12- Have you ever made a shitpost?

Yes ???

13- How often do you use Tumblr each day?

So many

14- Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Um not that i can think of lol

15- How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Dumb and bad. Stop guilt tripping people into reblogging posts

16- Do you like tag games?

Yes!! I love tag games!! <3 even tho im bad at keeping up w them i rly like doing them if i remember

17- Do you like ask games?

YES they're so much fun but I'm terrible at checking my inbox bc I'm always on mobile

18-Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Umm idk what qualifies as tumblr famous lol i have mutuals who have a few posts that have blown up. Maybe some of my bandom mutuals 😳

Also a long time ago i used to be mutuals w this rly hot person whose thirst traps had a lot of notes and i wanted to talk to them but was always too intimidated bc most of their asks were just ppl flirting/complimenting them. Then they unfollowed me hdkdhfkd

19- Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I am no longer taking questions at this time

Tagging @ghostcomet @ofalltheginjoints @luvselfishluv @stumph @smileandasong @infintyonhigh @ybcpatrick and anyone else who wants to do it (:

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Prologue: Onset of Injury (Sy)

Characters: Captain Syverson, various OMCs

Summary: Sy’s POV, the night and the mission that ended his military career and set him unknowingly on a path to true love.

Catch up on all chapters right here!

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings:  Language, violence, attempted military talk, feels…

Author’s Note: Okay friends, most of what I know about military ops I learned from watching movies…so, this may not all be accurate. But I think most of the terms and jargon are in line, even if this mission wouldn’t necessarily go down like this.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson had done a hundred briefings like this one. They were going into a compound with some low level goons, mid-level players, and one big boss. Two teams. Two entrances. One exit. The roof. Air extraction. Minimal undesirable casualties. Five or six mid to high level prisoners.

“Alright ladies, here’s the plan. The compound is central city. Alpha team, we’ll get dropped off by transpo two blocks south of the front entrance, Bravo team, same for you, two blocks north of the back entrance. Bravo, you head east and down once inside, Alpha will go west and up. Standard flanking formation. Stay frosty in there. These guys aren’t cub scouts. They will shoot on sight. Do your best not to be seen. Once the lower levels are cleared, we work our way to the top where we should find the big Kahuna. Do your best not to kill anyone in a suit. Tac gear only, unless it’s your life or theirs. These guys have intel the brass wants. Supposedly.”

Heads were nodding. Lopez raised his hand. The other guys laughed, but Sy appreciated the respect.

“Ricky?” He pointed at him to accept the question.

“Sir, what about evac?” He stood tall and sharp. He was new to the team, but Sy liked him already.

“That’s a great question, and thank you for raising your hand. Take notes on teacher’s pet here, class.” Everyone including Lopez laughed.

“There’s a stairwell to the roof in the master bedroom. That’s the LZ for our helo. They should be less than five mikes out, so we shouldn’t have time to order pizzas or anything after we clear the compound. So once the call is made, you won’t have long to get up the stairs. The helo can’t stay grounded for too long without drawing attention. We will need to keep an eye out for unfriendlies off compound being warned about our presence, and for survivors. Listen, I can’t stress this enough. I know it’s not easy to kill. And I don’t encourage it if it’s not necessary.  But these are bad people and they would kill you, the man next to ya, your sister, your parents, or your dog if they could.”

Aika, Sy’s German Shepherd whimpered in the corner but was ignored.

“Kill them for your brothers. For your neighbors. For the children you don’t even have yet. Because what do we do?”

“We embrace the darkness and the suffering.” His teammates that had been there for a while repeated the first part of the sin-eater credo.

“And why do we do it?”

“So that our fellow man is free to live in peace.” they finished the mantra as they had so many times before.

“Fuckin’ A. We roll in one hour.”

~~~~~~~~~

The drop and the entry had gone off without a hitch. Sy's Alpha team were like shadows, the very finger of death for the unjust and evil in the compound. Everyone they encountered was quietly subdued, whether by strategically placed blades, silenced firearms, or in some cases, the literal snapping of necks. Bravo team was just as successful. But Alpha team wasn't finding many prisoners.

The real problem came, though, when they reached the top floor where the big kahuna was supposed to be. Everything had gone dark, even though it had been lit up like Christmas, the Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all in one when they were making their approach to the compound. Someone had squawked. Raised a silent alarm. Something.

"This…this doesn't smell right, captain." Harztler voiced what was running silently through Sy's mind. "This level was like Times Square when we got here. Now nothing? It stinks."

"I can smell it, Jake. I don't like it." he activated his comms. "Bravo team, we are sitting ducks up here, what is your twenty? Over."

"Sir, we are wrapping up down here, and getting the targets ready for evac. We should be on route in less than ten mikes. Over."

"Push it to five if ya can, private. We don't like the look of this bedroom. Over."

"Is this the moment to be questioning someone's taste in interior design, captain? Over."

"Shitcan that disrespect, private, or you'll be digging latrines alone next time we have survival drills. Over."

"Understood, sir. Will try to push to five mikes. Over."

"That'd be best. Over and out." He signed off with Lopez, amused at the inferior officer’s joke, even though he couldn’t show it openly.

Hartzler has just started to suggest possible reasons for their unease when the sound of rapid automatic firepower rang out from one of the floors below them.

“Fuck.” Both men said in unison followed immediately by frantic shouts from Sy’s radio.

“*crackle crackle* we are taking heavy fire! Kominski is down! Lopez is hit! Alpha team! Captain, do you copy? Over!"

"I'm on my way, Fuller. Hang tight. Over and out." Sy said and looked at the men on his team, "Hartzler, you and Goldberg signal the Helo for evac ASAP and get to the roof. Schmidt, Freeman, you two come with me to back up Bravo team. We meet at the LZ in five. That's not a big window, gentlemen, we'll radio if we hit any snags. Clear?"

"Clear." a round of nods and affirmations came from the rest of the team. Sy turned for the exit to the room, checking his clip, and putting one in the chamber. Stakes were higher than ever.

The last three steps to the ground floor were half blocked by a slumped corpse. Kominski. Sy fought the emotion building in him as he remembered David showing him photos of his two young daughters, Charlotte, who was seven, and Renee who had just turned five. And his gorgeous wife Sasha. His high school sweetheart. He was distracted enough  by thought of the soon to be grieving girls, that he missed the pool of blood, Kominski's blood, on the black tile steps. His knee twisted unnaturally. And he could almost feel the protest of his muscles and tendons.

"Fuck! Mind your footing on these last few, boys." he winced, limping on toward the firefight. He signaled the men behind him to stay against the wall and follow him quietly until he gave the signal to attack. There were three men in tactical gear firing from behind a bar in the corner, pinning what was left of Bravo team in their position behind an overturned dining table. It was just Fuller and Lopez now. Sy took the opportunity during a slow point in the enemy's fire to enter, managing to shoot all three immediately, single handedly ending things.

"Alpha team, secure the area. Fuller, Lopez, what is your status?" Sy asked the men.

"Lopez is hit pretty bad in the leg. We've got a tourniquet in place. I am…uninjured. But our prisoners have been…neutralized by friendly fire." Well, fuck. That was the mission blown.

"Ammo?" Sy asked, frustrated.

"Depleted, sir." they hadn't planned for this.

"Fuller, you and Schmidt get Kominski up the stairs, pronto. We ain't leavin' him in this hell hole. Freeman, you watch their backs. Keep 'em covered in case there are any more of these assholes lurkin' around the place. Lopez, I'm gonna help you up them stairs. Can you get up?"

"I'll try, sir."

"Okay, roll out." Sy went to help Lopez to his feet. The boy wasn't hardly 160 pounds soakin' wet.

It was slow going, with Kominski and Lopez in tow, but they made it back to the bedroom just as the sound of the helicopter began to grow, and the roof began to quiver from the wind kicked up by the blades.

Sy made Schmidt and Fuller go first, as they had the biggest burden. Then Freeman, in case they needed another hand getting Kominski's body into the hold. His knee burned after the four flights he'd already done supporting Lopez, but the private had lost so much blood. He thought he'd have to carry him up this last flight to the roof. The boy was pale as a…sheet. He didn't let himself think of an apparition.

When he felt safe enough, and ready, he told Lopez the plan and hoisted him over his shoulder on his uninjured side. His knee protested angrily, but he proceeded, ignoring the pain, forcing it down with those emotions about the Kominski family.

Relief washed over him as he made the last step and his boot crunched against the loose pea gravel of the roof top. They were almost out of the woods.

Until a massive explosion in the HVAC unit knocked him off balance and took him down to his knees, Lopez's added weight a contributing force in what he was certain was now a broken leg bone given a very clear and distinct pop he'd heard even over the noise of the fire and wind. He had heard it from the inside. He thought  it would be the tibia, but his knowledge of anatomy wasn't anything to write home about. He dropped the boy with an agonized howl. The heat from the blast bit at his back as he tried to find the strength to stand. But he couldn't. His team was charging toward him and the private. And for once, he was overjoyed to receive help. Fuller and Freeman got Lopez under each arm and dragged him the few yards to the open hold. Schmidt helped Sy up as best he could, but the Captain was in excruciating pain.

"Captain, we gotta go. These assholes are gonna blow up their own property to get us. Come on. It's not far. You can make it." Schmidt let his CO lean on him all the way to the helo.

Sy noticed tied up in one of the bucket seats of the hold, a man in maroon silk pajamas and brown leather loafers without socks. An Iraqi, early sixties, hair and beard still dark black. Their primary target. Mostafa Kassab.

"Where'd he come from?" Sy shouted at Hartzler.

"He was hunkered down in that corner over there when we came up to signal the chopper." the sergeant lit up with pride. "Fuller told me their prisoners didn't make it. I'm glad we found Kassab up here, or the mission would have been a total waste.

As they took off, Sy looked from the covered body of Kominski to the prone form of Lopez, who was paler than ever and glassy-eyed. It was hard in that moment to think that even ten of Mostafa Kassab could be worth one of these men he was lucky enough to call friends.

As he examined his knee, beginning to swell and looking a much different shape than he ever remembered, he thought about what this could mean for him, as a captain, as a soldier…as a man. If he could even call himself a man if he had to take away the title of captain and soldier. This was his calling. He wasn’t sure how he’d go on if…but, he’d wait to think about that when he got back to base and the medic’s tent. After all, what was the worst that could happen? It wasn’t like he was hurt bad enough to earn a discharge letter…was he?

Up Next: Chapter One: Evaluation

[the-kharnival]

I've decided I'd blog my modded Minecraft world, because why not. This is more for myself to record what happens in the world. It has been four days(?) so far.

---

Started: Aug 1, 2021

First day in, instantly on the run from two guys from a nearby, tall building I suppose. I found some free real estate and now the loot inside is mine. I got wood, a wooden axe, and food from the chest and set my spawn. Maybe some cobble? I was too scared to go back out in the world, so I broke my floor and went mining. I eventually came warily into a cave system, and I found a dungeon. Oh! I know that little shrine in the middle, the gold blocks, redstone torches, the tower and that little blind steve... As any person would do, I clicked the head and Herobrine himself spawned into the world. He killed me instantly, as expected.

Running back down into the cave, Herobrine was gone, but his minions and my stuff was still there. Nice.

I took care of the minions and continued my mining, though wary.

Herobrine hasn't bothered me since. Maybe the man broke? I have no idea.

Back on the surface, I needed wood, so... Time to go outside the house.

It actually wasn't that bad... I got my wood, and ended up going up the side of this biiiiggg tree. Oh! At the top, two diamond blocks! Anndd... These are kind of common, the big trees. Huh. I guess I'm rich! Wait... All that mining for three diamonds was a waste?

Back on the ground, I saw a large turtle, some weird mob I don't know how to describe just hanging out, and a apple guy with a backpack. I approached the apple guy with caution, and turns out he gives free apples. Naturally, I pressed the button for the free apples, and wow! Free apples, red and gold alike! At this point, I figured out I could spam that button. As the thought "this is op" ran through my head, uh, I accidentally hit him. And that killed him. o7 so sad. Lil man was awesome...

I then went to see the large turtle with the large thing on it's back and OH GOSH IT'S HOSTILE. It pelted me with multiple projectiles at once instantly, so I fled.

At one point, I died after I tried fighting something. I didn't realize it was going to be much stronger than me, and no I don't know what it is.

I couldn't leave my house because there were two mutated pig guys trying to kill me, but after a thousand hits it seemed like, I was finally able to kill them and retrieve my stuff, then I killed the thingy. I was down to nothing, but I was able to get my stuff back and now I have stuff again.

I noticed in the distance another tree with two diamonds beside a big... Ship? On land? Oookkaayy. I gathered all the blocks I had and headed that way.

And oh? There's a weird creature thing on the two diamond blocks. Is it hostile? Maybe...

I checked out the ship and figured it was too over my level, as there were enemies and yeah I was cowardly. So I built up to the thing on the two block high diamond pillar.

Turns out, it's a distorted dog! I placed blocks to see if it'll try to tag me, but thankfully, it's actually pretty peaceful. Caught up at this point...

Now, I wonder, can I tame that distorted dog? What is my goals for this modded world? I decided to call the world Tyrakk, but I might change the name.

Distorted dog is my best friend, he's my profile picture, here's a picture of him.

It is my goal to take over that building in the distant left.

Other info:

This world has like, 28 mods on it? And yes I'm playing it on my mobile phone, but its surprisingly not laggy. It just takes 5-15 minutes to actually get in.

All this info is from memory after having not played the world in weeks, and I probably won't for another while, as I'm busy... but I really like it so far.

[starshine-selfships]

1, 10, 11, and 12 for the ask game ? 😺🙏💟

Hi hi hi!! You're getting long answers to these bc any excuse to talk about this man makes me go crazy stupid 🙌🙌🙌💕

1) What's a Hot Take you have about your f/o?

HE👏IS👏NEURODIVERGENT!! I'm specifically talking adhd, but he checks a lot of boxes for something more ambiguous too. I'm actually rewriting my adhd sh.aiapouf post and I'm gonna put it here too, but the cut time version IS: noticeable hyperfixations/special interests in music and the monarchy, practically no empathy + has difficulty understanding the emotions of others, fast thinking + thinks a LOT, almost weirdly analytical + book smart with little to no interpersonal skills, extreme emotions all over the board, like there's a LOT here and it explains like 80% of why he's Like That 😤

10) How did you feel when you realized "oh of course I had to like That Character"?

Okay I have a lot to say on this one djnfkffk please bear with me as I write a whole novel

✌U_U ✌

Honestly,, , I wasn't happy LMAOOO, around the time I watched the anime for the first time i was actually still pretty into j.jba and unfortunately was really into dio U_U

I was fascinated by pouf as soon as I saw him in the opening, lots of neat ant designs and then this butterfly man?? I need to know everything about him 👀 His intro with the rainbows in the wings, the fairy chimes, the solo violin, all had me like 👁👁 Sir I Am Going To Study You Like The Insect You Are, and then I saw him actually play the violin and was sold lmao. He was funny as far as comic relief went and then? The giant improv ballet breakdown and antagonistic turn drew me in further and then I was invested in a no going back sorta way as soon as he went chibi for the first time, just watching the chaos of the entire scene with this ridiculous huge grin dhjdkxkf every single thing he did was in the extremes and it was like watching a train de-rail in real time, I saw him face down in the dirt at the end of the arc and didn't even feel anything, he was just so WILD

So I finish h.xh not too long after that and texted a friend and was like hmmm. I need to watch j.jba to return to my roots and also to forget that I think I might've accidentally given myself a lil crush on the butterfly man 😳 idk if that return ever happened but I DO remember being frustrated with how pretty he is,, I didn't really wanna shift hyperfixations at the time and also didn't know if it was attraction or gender envy bc. what I would give to simultaneously look so fem and so masc 👁 either way it was a 3 month struggle of "oh no oh my god I wanna kiss a bug so bad?? 😞" and then I caved at midnight in a denny's and was like okay. fine. I'm gay for a bug, I really really like him but *i* don't have to like that 😤

I did, in fact, proceed to like it, enough to make an entire separate blog for him. It was a slow progression of "I mean, I'd share a ballroom dance with him, like a waltz maybe", "hmm okay he's funny but whatever", "oh uh. he uh. I mean he's neat, a lot of people didn't like him but I just think he's an interesting character 😳" and. and then I finally caved and I never stopped talking sjdkfkf though to be fair, I was already talking about him a LOT on my main, I just decided that maybe it would be nice to have a space to just. contain 90% of my poufposting LMAOOO

Final note on this, but I think what really got me is how many characters are in this series and yet I gravitated towards the one no one could stand 😞✌ though to be fair the hatred for him has definitely gone down compared to what I can remember from a few years ago; absolutely does not change the fact that He Is The Way He Is, but I saw the war crimes, malice, potentially treason, and I won't name it but it's by far the most uncomfortable thing to sit through in the arc, I saw ALL of that and still went hmmmm yes I want that one U_U true love huh

11) Do you think it's better to have copious amounts of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?

The art situation with him is strange bc there's a decent enough to be notable amount of art of him captioned with some variation of "I hated him but he had a really cool character design", but it's still content. Surprisingly, I actually don't track the tag for him but take a look at it anyways almost every day and there's maybe one new thing there like once a week, minimal content bc so many people just didn't like him, which is fair!! But also, he was definitely there as a prominent character, I'd just like to see more of him U_U I would put more art here but I'm too conscious of the art ops seeing my bs over here jdkdkfkk

There actually are a handful of ship art drawings of him, which astounds me bc this man wasn't there to make friends, not even with his own siblings :/, but the errant art of him with morel or kite is honestly pretty cute, please just let this man be happy, I love to see him smile 🥺

12) Aren't you tired of being nice? This is an excuse to rant.

He wasn't the worst guard!! All three had reasons for doing what they did and arguably, pouf's motives were the most complex. Yes he did some pretty awful things, but he considered them to be the right thing to do without a doubt in his mind, all his actions were selfish in that they were based off his own feelings, but he did things ultimately for the king, so his actions also had an edge of selflessness to them as well. He was just. so much more than annoying and while his character development wasn't positive, it was still some pretty astounding growth; as an antagonist, he's also fairly plausible 👀 sometimes people just are manipulative, sometimes feelings do get the better of you, pouf just has all those factors amped up to 11 at all times so they're magnified. I have. a lot of thoughts on him, he interests me very much 😞👀🤔👀

[rannadylin]

So, since the option for @new-xkit-extension users to keep the old dash (with working Xkit extensions) appears to be gone now I’m just gonna start a list both for my own reference and for requests to tumblr staff of the extensions I am now finding it hardest to do without, more or less in order of how much I miss them. Feel free to add your own must-haves! (and the list at https://github.com/new-xkit/XKit/issues/1802 is handy for tracking which extensions in Xkit have already been updated for the new dash...)

[ETA a read more as my list got longer than I expected!]

Read Posts: oh my goodness when I’m catching up in the morning, or in the evenings after work once going back in to work will be a thing, it is so frustrating not to have that dimmed post tell me that I’m all caught up now! How many posts will I obliviously scroll through multiple times before realizing I saw that one the last time I read through my dash? The fact that many posts show up multiple times in reblogs makes it even harder to keep track of where you left off, so the disabling of this extension has thrown my tumblr routine into considerable confusion. I’m either gonna end up rereading everything from the last time I caught up or I’m gonna not catch up all the way because I’ll see a reblog that I know I saw in my previous catch-up session and it’ll actually be someone else’s reblog of the same post so I’ll miss whatever came before it.

No Recommended (or possibly it was Anti-Capitalism): it’s supposed to hide the recommended posts that come from your followed tags and then just show up on your dash as if you were following the OP. At least I think this is the extension that was removing those for me? It’s actually checked on the list linked above so maybe it was a different extension that had this covered. At any rate, the first I realized the “revert to old dashboard” option must have been eliminated was when I started seeing these again, sigh. Now I may just unfollow all my followed tags and see if that stops them from throwing up random blogs I didn’t ask to see.

Shorten Posts: Oh my goodness things are so LONG now. And is the font bigger? Less of each post, especially longer or photo posts, fits on the screen at a time and so it takes longer to get through it. Might have to unfollow blogs as well as my followed tags just to have the time to keep up with what I do follow.

Read More Now: UGH, “Keep reading” links open in a separate tab again. :-( It’s a hassle and RMN made it so much more streamlined.

ETA: When not on the dash but on the dash-style version of my own blog (so tumblr.com/blog/rannadylin that is), clicking the “Keep Reading” opens up like this extension used to? Hm i’ll need to check next time a read more comes up on my dash whether it’s been updated to work there too...

Quick Tags: Looks like if reblogging or making a post from your dash you can no longer use this extension to add tag bundles for quick & easy organization of posts. Oh my goodness. I’m already tired at the thought of typing them all out by hand. (Side note: The Activity page seems to still be untouched by the changes - extensions that apply to it are still working - so if you go to that page first then click the new post icon, you can use the tag bundles. No good for reblogging though, unless you are reblogging a post from your activity page somehow?)

Auto Tagger: Not quite as annoying as the loss of Quick Tags since this one I mostly just used for things like “queue” and “ranna reblogs” on non-original posts and “from the desk of ranna” on original posts, and that’s just one tag to add. But you can be sure I’ll forget to add them most of the time, so there goes that layer of organization (and the option of blocking those tags if you didn’t want to see that portion of content from my blog). 

Cancel that; it looks like this one is still working as I just attempted to reblog something and my auto tag for that showed up!

Er...maybe not, since it just used my original post tag on a reblog instead of the tag that should go on things I reblog.

Tag Tracking+: I mean, this one won’t be necessary if I have to unfollow my tracked tags to make tumblr stop putting posts from the tags on my dash from blogs I don’t follow, but also now it’s not as simple to find those followed tags...so that I can unfollow them...

Header Options: I used this to “Show my blogs on the header” so I had quick links to switch between this, my main blog, and sideblogs like @roleplayers-of-eternity and @pillarspromptsweekly. So that’s just a few extra clicks to do that switching but still it slows things down overall. Heeeey, this one just got updated and looks functional on the new dash now! Huzzah!

Blacklist: Well, the new tumblr has something of the sort built in but I haven’t blacklisted as many things there as I had in Xkit so I’m not entirely sure yet (until I start comparing blacklisted phrases on the posts that are being hidden by whatever) if this one’s still working or if it’s just tumblr’s blacklisting that’s working. I suppose as long as we have one functional version of this it’s fine. (On a third thought, it might be the separate-from-Xkit Tumblr Savior extension that’s working again now? While I had the Xkit “Revert to old dashboard” option switched on I don’t think TS worked with that but maybe it’s been updated for the new dash?)

OK after some cross checking I think it is Tumblr Savior that has the blacklist phrases I’m seeing with a “Content Warning” hiding the post. Not sure if Xkit’s Blacklist is also working but that is quite possible...we’ll see if I can find a post hidden that is only blacklisted there...

ETA: Annnnd I just saw a post blocked with a tag I only had blacklisted in the Xkit Blacklist! So, good, it looks like all versions of blacklist functions are working.

Now for one that wasn’t even an extension, I don’t think: you know how you can hit J to scroll down a post and K to scroll up a post? Well that still works; but previously you could then hit the right arrow key to go to the next page of posts if you don’t have endless scrolling on (or left arrow to go to the previous page if you need to) and it appears those no longer function that way. So farewell to mouse-free dash scrolling, I guess, gonna have to click that Next > button every time manually now.

Also, upon going to my Queue to see if there are extensions broken there that I will miss (e.g. Scroll to Bottom for when you need to quickly find the most recent thing you queued to adjust tags or something), it...isn’t actually showing any of my queued posts? What?

As noted earlier, the Activity page is not yet switched over to “new” tumblr, and it looks like the Inbox isn’t either, so the Outbox extension still works which is great for old folks like me prone to forgetting whether we already sent that ask we meant to send. *ahem* In other words, if the Inbox switches to the new engine or whatever and this extension goes away, UGH.

ETA: Oh and I just noticed as I added some indented bullet points to the list above...they’re all showing up at the first level of indentation, not outline-style like intended, when viewed on the actual dash. Sigh.

On the bright side of the changes, it definitely seems to load faster on the new dash! And as I’m going through my list of Xkit extensions there are several that I see are actually redundant now because their functionality is already a part of the new dash. If Tumblr can incorporate the usability features that we used to have to turn to 3rd party extensions to supply, that’ll be great!

[kyanitedragon]

Hi, I’m trying to find out if I am aplatonic and am having a VERY hard time finding information about it. The most I’ve learned is probably from your blog and some stuff on google. When I found out I was ace and aro there was info, but there doesn’t seem so be a lot about aplatonicism out there and a good amount of it is rude. Do you have any info or could you point me in the direction of some? I have so many questions. Thanks. If you don’t have any advice, that’s cool, no worries :)

Yeah, there’s unfortunately not too much info out there...

I first learned about the term and started questioning if I was aplatonic from hearing other aros on tumblr talk about it. I resonated with a lot of their experiences, and decided to try out the term. It gave me comfort and explained a lot of things in my past where I struggled with platonic affection and platonic love.

You said you’ve already gone through my blog. If there were any posts in particular you resonated with, you could try searching the blogs of the OP, or reaching out to them as well. In my experience, most people are happy to talk about their identities and try to help out questioning people!

I’m open to answering any questions too!

There’s quite a bit of overlap of aplatonicism and loveless aros, so checking out those tags and reading the experiences of those aros may help as well.

You could also ask questions and post them into the aro and aplatonic tags and see if anyone in the community answers.

(Also, block any rude people if you haven’t already. You’ll have such peace of mind not having to see that hate anymore.)

[battlestar-royco]

Considering my place in the anti community

So, I know that might be an alarming title, but rest assured I don’t see myself deactivating or ceasing discussion of SJ/M’s books any time soon. But a lot of things have led me to the decision to explicitly veer my blog in another direction. I’ve said more than once before that I made this blog around May of 2018 as a joke between me, myself, and I, as a way to vent my disappointments with the T0G and AC0TAR series into this dumb blue void. I kid you not, I literally did not expect anyone to interact with me at all, and aside from mutuals on my main, I’d never been sent an ask in all the (then) six years I had a Tumblr. I didn’t expect to meet and befriend such a passionate, salty, visionary, thoughtful community. A little over a year later, I’m interacting with too many people to keep up with, I find myself being tagged and reblogged by reputable bloggers with way bigger followings from all over Tumblr’s diversity-forward fandom communities, and I even have run-ins with anon hate and stan ridiculousness every so often. The anti community as I know it has been a welcoming home that has taught me so much. That being said, there are a few reasons I want to slightly switch gears. So here goes. This is a long one, so thanks for sticking it out, if you make it to the end.

What will remain and what will change?

More will stay the same than will change. I will still absolutely be answering asks about YA books and SJ/M, and I will be posting about the issues within them and how I think they could have gone better. I will also still be tagging such things as anti. I really enjoy discussing the nitty gritty of characters, worldbuilding, and how all that coincides with the handling of diversity and feminism in the books. This type of discussion is, I think, how I gained most of my following, so I don’t want to turn my back on you. Also, in the near future, I mainly just want my blog to be a place where diverse representation across all identity vectors and forms of media, especially fantasy books, is a focus. I want people to feel they can talk earnestly about their issues with xyz representation and/or discuss diversity struggles they come across with their own writing.

I feel like the anti community stagnates periodically and we devolve into cold wars with stans, picking apart miniscule details of the books, scouring SJ/M’s social media, repeating ourselves, or other similar activities. Going forward I want to reduce the conversations that are founded in pettiness or insulting other Tumblr users or SJ/M for things that honestly have nothing to do with the books, the YA/publishing community, or problematic behavior. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things worth discussing re: problematic author/stan behavior, but it’s easy to lose sight of the reason for antis to exist in the first place. On to reasoning:

1. The connotation.

This is something many of you know about me as well, but it bears repeating: I never hated SJ/M’s books. My blog is a result of my passion and enjoyment of the earlier books twisted into disappointment. I wouldn’t have bothered making a blog about these books if I hated them from start to finish. I wouldn’t have made an “anti” account if I’d felt that my opinions would be accepted among stans. I felt there was a lack in both the anti and stan community for my experience, so I’m here to give voice to that. Although I started out talking about the negatives, I don’t think my blog has ever fit most people’s idea of “anti” on this site. There are a lot of truly toxic anti communities all over Tumblr who exist just to shit on creators and fans or to be negative out of spite, and I really have never identified with that desire, nor have I tried to exhibit that behavior. But thanks to worst of the worst on this site, anyone who calls themselves anti is automatically associated with that. I also think as a whole, every SJ/M anti is doing completely different stuff with their own blogs. We’ve got book cover criticism, opinions and advice about publishing, T0G rewrite projects, shitposts, etc. I myself started expanding months ago into providing writing advice on diversity and generally writing meta. It’s not a group of angry people yelling slurs at each other like I’ve seen other anti communities do, so I don’t think it’s the right label for me.

2. Stans.

This goes a bit with the connotation point. I feel like, especially because of how I’ve branded myself and because of antis who preceded the current batch, stans really have no idea what I’m about. I have always been clear that I do not wish to attack them or their enjoyment of/engagement with the books. And yet I’m constantly being vagued about, having my words twisted, or having my arguments and blogging style very purposely, transparently ignored/misinterpreted/ridiculed in said vague-blog posts. All this despite stans’ frequent claim that they ~never~ go into anti tags or check out our blogs, and despite their other frequent claim they don’t believe in the anti/stan divide and that we’re more alike than not. I agree that this divide is dumb, but it’s kind of hard to distance myself from it while constantly being thrown under the bus by SJ/M BNFs. I don’t mind anyone viewing or interacting with my posts, because transparency and all, but it’s tiresome to constantly defend myself because I’m being misrepresented by accounts that are 4, 5, 6 times bigger than mine who either don’t know how I run my blog or purposely mischaracterize me. I can’t control other people’s behavior and I don’t want to, but this is a change I’m making for my own mental health and to promote better behavior among both communities, and I hope others follow suit.

3. Things I’ve handled poorly and how I want to do better.

Anyone with an ask blog for a minute inevitably acquires their share of public fuck-ups. I can think of a few instances in which I would have handled a situation differently. For example, a few months ago the community as a whole was asked to expand our conversation to more than just presenting SJ/M and Bardugo as foils, and I wish I’d been less defensive there. That day made me think a lot about the way I carry myself on this blog and how limited the conversation can sometimes be. I really do appreciate any and all criticism for the community, and looking back, I feel like my reaction to that didn’t go along with the way I usually try to handle criticism. I think it would be good to try and, like OP said, infuse more book promotion into my blog in general, to try to support and read more books by marginalized authors in the future so we can discuss them more thoroughly here.

In closing/TL;DR:

This isn’t inspired by any particular event or person, but rather a lot of things that have happened in the past several months on Tumblr, in the world and the media, and in my personal life. It’s not a change that was inspired out of negativity, but more out of trying to generate a more positive framework for my Tumblr activity and seeing how I can effect change through this blog. I’m still here for rants, masterposts calling out problematic books and characters, pretty much all the book talk I was doing before. This is just a really long-winded announcement that I want to expand my blog to a general spot for discussing diversity in media. Thank you so much for sticking it out if you made it all the way down here. Here’s to improving ourselves.

[magic-and-myths]

Tag Game: Voted Most Likely

I was tagged by @itslmdee, thanks a bunch for the tag, it was great to use this to get back into the swing of writeblr, and it was super fun!

Rules of the Game: This game is originally found here so please do check it out at the original author’s blog! Use your OCs for this game, and tag whoever you want when you’re done, OP suggests 5

I’m going to use six characters from Old Pepper Place for this, with Maya and five of her incredible friends to choose from. I’ve been gone for a little bit, so I’ll quickly summarize each character in case you forgot (no shame, I forget them sometimes too).

Characters:

Maya - (she/her) our local protagonist and narrator, always curious, desperately trying to solve the mysteries of the house she’s recently bought, a biologist and botanist, true academic

Carlos - (he/him) Maya’s bff, working hard to be a violinist, works in a tea shop, skeptical about magical happenings but always supportive, brings Maya groceries and visits frequently

Malaki - (he/him) rainbow dragon made of pure light, loves mac and cheese, very helpful and enthusiastic, majestic af, not very smart

Airl - (they/them) forest guardian, looks like an eldritch wood spirit, long snake/owl neck, owl face, long heron legs, cute little flowers on their wings, expert on human interactions with magic, knows the world will keep on chugging, even if humans big time mess it up

Relle - (she/her) flower gnome, grumpy as heck, wears a dope hat, 150 years old, a little condescending, makes sculptures out of flowers, intellectual

Avi - (he/him) summer fairie, very shy, not nearly as condescending as the other faeries, interested in human goings on, wears a cute little dress, very pretty, maybe has a crush on Maya?

Most Likely to be a Poet

Avi. He’s got a lot of feelings but he’s too shy to say them, so I think he’d write some great poetry. He’d need to get a tiny pencil first though.

Most Likely to Look Good in a Kilt

Relle. She already wears this funky red and purple pineapple looking hat and a wacky sweater, it’d totally go with her look.

Most Likely to Get Punched in the Face

Relle. She can be really obnoxious sometimes, and eventually someone might get sick of it. Although she probably will never get punched, because none of the other characters are the type to do the punching.

Most Likely to Drop Everything and Become a Sheep Herder

Maya. She already dropped everything and moved into a house in the middle of nowhere, a sheep herder really isn’t that big of a step.

Most Likely to be Found in a Library

Airl. But they’d be there to spy on some humans and learn about magic in the human world, not actually read anything.

Most Likely to Sleep Through an Earthquake

Relle. Gnomes hibernate through their off seasons, so a flower gnome like Relle is basically comatose for fall, winter, and spring. If the earthquake was in summer though, I’d have to say Carlos. That dude can sleep.

Most Likely to Steal Food From Other People’s Plates

Carlos. But only from Maya. He’s not comfortable stealing food from this weird magic folks.

Most Likely to Cheat on a Test

Malaki. But it’s extremely unlikely that he’d get in a situation where he has to take a test in the first place. And if he did, he’d probably cheat on accident, not purposefully.

Most Likely to Say ‘Oops’ After Setting Something on Fire

Maya. She is also the most likely to set something on fire. (aurora dragons can’t breathe fire, just lasers)

Most Likely to Open an Orphanage

Airl. But again it would be so that they could understand the magic of generosity and human emotion. They’re generous and kind, but would generally avoid the human world unless there was something to be learned from studying it.

Most Likely to Run Off With the Circus

Malaki. And he’d be really good at it too.

Most Likely to Fake Their Own Death

Avi. Out of embarrassment. He’d take the faking his own death way out instead of dealing with blushing for 24 hours straight.

Most Likely to Die and Haunt Their Friends

Carlos. But he’d only haunt Maya. This was super awesome, I had a blast. And I really like the idea of Airl in a library. Reminds me of Wong Shi Tong’s library in ATLA

I’ve been out of writeblr for a while, and I’m not sure who’s active or what anymore, so I’m going to just leave this as an open tag. Have fun friends!

[deputy-sarah-sux]

can i be a psycho and your worst nightmare by asking ALL the writers asks?

You are a demon omg. I love it though this was so much fun to do.Since you didn’t specify fic specifically for some of these questions I’m just gonna write about The Devil Has Come for all of the “in xxx fic” asks.

Answers are below since this is such a long ask :):):)

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? 12/13 it was between 7th and 8th grade and it was all anime fanfiction

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Far Cry 5, RDR2, Assassin’s Creed, DC, Marvel, Fallout, Skyrim, Preacher. Far Cry 5 is definitely my favorite to write for though

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.Personally, I prefer OC’s, with OC’s I can build their character, give them a personality and growth. I like shaping the character as the world changes based on their actions

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?Action or romance unless I totally misread that question

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why?The Devil Has Come!!! It was my first in the Far Cry fandom and it’s my baby. I love all the characters and the world that I’m building. It’s got action, romance, some twists, it’s exciting

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?If we’re talking things that I’m currently writing and enjoy writing then I guess Bridges only because it’s the same characters as TDHC just in an AU form so I’d survive without it.

7) When is your preferred time to write?Night, 10pm on basically.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Everywhere really? TV shows, movies, video games, other fics

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?So far my favorite scene that I wrote in TDHC that has been published was either the confrontation with Rook in Chapter 11 or Jacob finding Sarah in the hotel in Chapter 8. They were both really fun to write.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternate ending in mind?Well it hasn’t been ended yet, but there were two possible endings that I was originally considering. I’m not saying much more other than the ending that I went with is gonna hurt me when I eventually get to it.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Not after posting but I have amended stories due to criticisms. If I’m a bit worried about a particular scene I’ll share the doc with my best lady @farcryfuckmeup and get her opinion. She usually points out things that aren’t great and I go from there. She’s the closet thing to a beta reader that I have.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?Sarah!!! She’s my best girl and I love her personality and attitude. In terms of canon characters though I’ve been writing some stuff from Arthur Morgan’s pov and that’s been really fun too. I really love playing around with his sense of self and morality.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I don’t have one yet? We’ll see how the future plays out there. It might be Ethan Seed but I’ve never written stuff for him so I’m not 100% sure.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.Almost every fic name is from a song. The Devil Has Come is from Blues Saraceno’s “The River”, Icarus is from Bastille’s “Icarus”, and I’m not sure where Bridges is from but I’m 90% sure it was a song. The series that TDHC and it’s connected stories are a part of is called Bottom of the River from Delta Rae’s “Bottom of the River”.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I use name generators for modern characters or look up names with a specific meaning. If the character is from the past (ie cowboy times or pirate times) I look up names popular in that century. Sarah’s name I got by looking up popular names with religious meanings and Sarah was on the list.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?I came up with the idea for TDHC by playing co-op with @farcryfuckmeup. It was originally supposed to be a crackfic based on the dumbshit we did in-game. Then in my desperation to pretend that the game didn’t end the way it ends I started coming up with ways it could have gone differently and thus my fic was born.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.I have so many wips! I’ll do a few because I’m in a sharing mood.Fallout 4 WIP: “‘You don’t even use power armor, why did you steal so many?’”RDR2 WIP: “Valentine was a crap town with crap people and even crappier whiskey. It was tiny and smelled like mud and horse shit and something else that she was pretty sure was vomit.”Another RDR2 WIP: “Trouble was the bastard was clingy apparently as he was hot on Arthur’s heel.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yes, a few. I got bored or I decided to focus on other things. I do intend to one day finish them but who knows

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?The Devil Has Come!!! I can’t wait to write a sequel and I haven’t even finished the current fic.

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?Sometimes I wish I’d written a follow up to my judge fic Joseph and his Judge. I’m not totally sure if I like how it ended.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@farcryfuckmeup first and foremost, she’s amazing. I also love gwennolmarie and OutlandishWhalesharks on Archive of Our Own.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?My anime fics from middle school. It’s still posted and I won’t tell you what it’s called but every time I remember it a little part of me dies.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Music mostly but it sometimes depends on the scene. For certain scenes I need silence but for the most part it’s music music music. I have playlists for all sorts of scene types.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?I love it, idk if I’m any good at it but I do like writing them.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Yes, I’ve been writing some future parts of TDHC and I have cried a bit writing some of it.

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?The smut scene in Chapter 10 of TDHC, it was the first smut scene I’d ever published so I was really worried about that and kept rewriting it.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?Bit of both I guess. There is a vague outline in my head but only for like the big events, everything in between is go with the flow shit.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?It’s not going to be an instant hit. When I first started posting works back in the day I was always so upset when I’d check the next day and see only like 12 people had read it.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Icarus :(   It’s only a baby fic and it’s in a mostly dead fandom but I love it.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?No, I love all the attention my fics get.

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)I’m gonna recommend one myself. Since this is a Far Cry blog I’ll recommend a Far Cry fic: come a little closer by lowtides on AO3Also here’s a Fallout 4 fic that isn’t finished but I absolutely love: RAIDERHEAD by TaraTargaryen

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?No real people no. Thomas is a combination of a few fictional characters though.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I’ve gotten a few comments of analysis on chapters I’ve posted and honestly I love that so much. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing that someone not only read my fic but sat there and actually thought a lot about it.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Like I said before I haven’t gotten a lot of criticism, but I guess the harshest for me was when I was discussing a character that I had really started to like and my friend (who I was ranting at about him) asked me to honestly think about what he brings to the table. Like is he actually necessary or just a throwaway character that won’t bring much to the story? I ended up scrapping him and putting a nameless character in his place to fill a few of his scenes.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I share them with one (1) person and that person is my irl best friend @farcryfuckmeup. Everyone else has to wait until I post stuff I don’t want to spoil any big surprises.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?It’s a chapter very far in the future for a fic I’m sure you can guess but I won’t outright say.“Against his better judgment, he reached out and grabbed the hysteric woman, tightening his grip against her struggling and pulling her into his lap. He wrapped her in a tight hug until she finally began to calm down, humming softly and running his fingers through blood-soaked hair.“

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I haven’t written a lot of funny stuff. I mostly do angsty. But when I was in middle school a wrote a novel where I spent two paragraphs talking about my MC’s hair color and current outfit and I cackle every time I read it. 70 pages or pure cringe, it’s hilarious.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.@farcryfuckmeup hmu bitch!also you @onl-you

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third, every now and then I write in first but idk I just don’t like it much.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?My close friends do

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?Thomas Moore, he’s a lot of fun to write for.

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.I don’t actually have any song fics in the traditional sense. I do however have some fics inspired by songs. I listen to music almost constantly, sometimes a song comes on that gives my fic vibes and I add it to my prompt playlist.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?@/farcryfuckmeup has but I don’t try too hard to keep secrets when she’s around

44) What is the last line you wrote?“John rolled his eyes and finished unbuttoning his shirt.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?This is cliche probably but the readers. I don’t want to leave someone waiting around for the next update forever. I also want to see how things play out myself so my own desire to see the finished product also helps.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Again, going with TDHC for this. I am writing a sequel currently (I know it’s not done). It’s going to focus on a different character but Sarah will make appearances. I’m also working on a standalone sequel for her but that won’t be posted until the first sequel fic is complete.

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made-up title. What would this story be about?I used a title generator: Hidden Midnight. It’s about a pair of idiots in love, one is a vampire so they can only meet at night and it’s very secretive. The human dies at the end.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Forced partnerships. I love it when two characters are forced into a partnership. One of them can’t fucking stand the other but slowly grows to like/love them in secret. If the chill one is in danger the annoyed one freaks the fuck out and does everything they can to get to their partner and afterwards claims they couldn’t care less what happened.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?I don’t remember the name of it but I’m pretty sure it was a Supernatural fic. I think it was Destiel (don’t just middle school me) and a high school AU. I’m not 100% sure. It was either that or a Fairy Tail fic and I like to forget my anime days.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?Angst. I love fluff and smut but in the end, I always go back to angst. It’s so much fun and there are so many ways to do it.

[the-studious-archie]

Studyblr Tag Game

Thank you to @semiarchi-studies for tagging me! It’s pretty rare that I get tagged on these sorts of things!

Rule: tag 21 people!

Nickname: Micky is the main one - my friends couldn’t spell my first name in middle school (it’s a weird spelling), so one started calling me Mickey, and I forgot at the time it was spelled with an ‘e,’ so here we are ten years later. It doesn’t get used much, but it is what I go by literally everywhere online for the sake of privacy. My middle name is Rose, so my best friend will sometimes call me by that too.

Star sign: Scorpio, though I don’t really pay attention to that kind of stuff

Height: Uhh, 5′ 3″? Maybe 5′ 4″? It’s been a while since I’ve checked

Last film i watched: Spider Man Far From Home

Favorite musician: For King & Country, Holyn, Riley Clemmons, and Blanca are some of my current favorites

Song stuck in my head: At the moment Neverfade by The Young Escape is looping

Other blogs: miss-mickyrose is my main, this one’s a side blog of that account. I have a few more, but nothing I’ve touched in over a year 

Do I get asks: Occasionally; I would love more! 

Following: 77. I just did a big clear out in an attempt to make my dashboard less of an endless rabbit hole of scrolling. That said, I’d love some more archie blogs to follow!

What I’m wearing right now: A tee shirt with a little to-go coffee cup that says “you can brew it” above it, jeans, and flip flops (the joys of working at a low-key office where attire doesn’t really matter much!)

Dream job: Anything that involves design, honestly. I’d thought for a while I’d go for my architecture license, but now I’m not so sure. If my summer co-op has shown me anything, it’s that architects do a lot less designing and a lot more coordinating other people than I’d always thought. I wouldn’t mind going into product design, especially like stationery and furniture!

Dream trip: Europe. All of it. But like, I don’t want to have a set itinerary? I’d like to just be able to live and move around at my own pace.

Play any instruments: I tried to learn the guitar in middle school. I couldn’t stand the pain long enough to build up callouses. 

Languages: English is my first language, and I’ve been studying Spanish for close to a decade (side note: it’s so weird quantifying parts of your life in decades when you’ve only been alive for two of them??) I’m not fluent, but I can sometimes hold my own in a conversation if I know what I’m talking about.

Favorite food: Stir fry is kind of my go-to.

Favorite song: There are a lot right now. I did just learn the Spanish version of God Only Knows by For King & Country, so that’s a big one right now!

Random fact: If I hadn’t gone into architecture, I would’ve gone into either culinary or creative writing. I like making things. I also like correcting grammar (What? I totally didn’t correct all the grammar/spelling on this template... >. >)

I’m not going to tag anyone specific, but I’d love to see my followers participate if they want! 

[deathonyourtongue]

Resurrection | 5

Summary: A ragtag team of Spec-Ops operators are brought out of retirement for all the wrong reasons. When the dust settles, only the best will be left standing. Pairing: Pablo Schreiber x OFC, Henry Cavill x OFC (listen, she gets with the whole team, okay? Don’t lie, you would too.) Word Count: 2K Warnings: Waterboarding. Dream sequence involving death and gore.  A/N: I’m reposting this for a few reasons. Mainly ‘cause I’m done having my fics in two places, wanted to re-work the cover, and most importantly wanted those of you who weren’t following me back when these chapters were originally posted to be able to take it in from scratch. I’ve also cleaned up a lot of the text as far as grammar, etc. goes, so it’s more polished.  ***ALSO: All the Portuguese translations are found in the links (read the address bar or the error that comes up when you click the link)*** Like what I do? Buy me a coffee (or a commission)!

C H A R A C T E R  C H A R T

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Gone are the suits and ties, and my heels are replaced by combat boots. 

The safehouse we use for interrogations is across town from the one we stay at, and it shows. Far from the posh of Knightsbridge, Dagenham is home to the largest diesel engine manufacturing site in the world. Soot and oil coat everything and at night, the area is a ghost town; perfect for our needs. 

On paper, all the governments in the room condem torture, but work in the business of terror long enough, and you know that’s all just to save face and keep the top brass’ hands clean. We’re not animals about it of course, but if Miguel wobbles a little in his seat, it’s only because we let Max drive and London roads are so winding.

“You know...We don’t technically have to take the bag off his head.” Flip murmurs, breaking the silence we’ve all been in since getting Miguel settled into his new surroundings. 

“You’re absolutely certain he’s never seen you, darling?” Max asks me, his face set in concentration. The rest of the team look up for my answer and I nod. 

“Positive. Besides, bag or no bag, if he knew me, he’d have recognized my call sign by now,” I remind them, relief shooting around the room as all the men recall that Miguel was privy to any conversation we had in the car, call signs included. 

“Alright. Who’s going in with you?” Rick asks, finally moving from his position against the wall and taking a seat next to Flip who looks all too eager to get a crack at our soon-to-be informant. Knowing he’ll be a liability if he reads the tone wrong, I look around, my gaze resting on Max as I smirk. 

“Beef. I owe him for nearly taking his head off earlier,” I answer, both Dom and Rick nodding their understanding. Flip looks somewhat crestfallen, but I know he understands. He, of all of us, is too close to the situation, and though I know there’ll be a time to turn him loose, this isn’t it. 

Max and I both stand from our seats, checking our handguns as we move towards the blast door that separates us from Miguel. Taking a moment, we focus our gazes on eachother, silently getting on the same page so that there’s no chance of Miguel thinking one of us is weaker than the other. 

With a nod to each other, I take a deep breath and open the door. Padded on the inside in order to mitigate any screaming or loud music we might use throughout our interrogations, the room is graveyard silent. Once the door shuts, Max moves with precision, turning the stereo on full blast, and I can’t help but smile at the song that comes on. While all of us are metal fans, it’s one of the most effective interrogation tools we have because those in the hot seat usually either haven’t ever heard metal before (and are immediately disturbed by it) or despise it to the point where they can only tolerate so much. EDM comes a close second, but in Miguel’s case, Metal is the right call as he flinches immediately. Catching Max’s eye, we can’t help but grin as we mouth along to the lead singer’s screaming, the song’s lyrics about lying and choking oddly appropriate for what’s about to happen. 

I headbang along with the double-bass as I grab a five gallon jug of water, hoisting it over my shoulder and letting Max handle the towels as we set things up. When everything’s ready, Max moves into position, arms crossed over his broad chest, his trademark scowl firmly in place. 

I count to three with one hand, and on ‘one’, pull the bag from Miguel’s head, immediately tipping his head back and holding it in place with my forearm as I dilate his eyes. Max and I both stay out of his line of sight for the few moments it takes for the drops to work, and once we see the tell-tale squint, we slowly move to our places. 

“Miguel, ta com cara que tá com sede, meu amigo.” I open, one eyebrow raised, staying just far away enough to be little more than a faceless blur to our informant. 

“Vai se foder!” He yells, trying and failing to get out of the restraints he’s in. 

“Ah, que isso, cara. Não fique assim. A gente só quer falar com você,” I purr, playing the “Nice Girl” routine even though everyone in the room knows it won’t last long. 

“Certo, é por isso que vocês me capturaram, colocaram um saco na minha cabeça, e me levaram a Deus sabe onde. Falar, uma ova!” 

“Já aprendeu Inglês, seu cafajeste?” I ask him, hoping he’s picked up a second language since the last time any of our governments dealt with him, more for the rest of the team’s sake than my own.

“I have,” he says, his accent nearly a perfect facsimile of anyone who’s been born and raised in London. Max’s eyebrow goes up in mild surprise, and if I know my team, the rest of them are all pressed against the two-way mirror, intent on listening now that they can understand. 

“Good, so we’ll do this in English, ‘cause fuck you,” I tell him in no uncertain terms, moving into his space so he can confirm that the woman he wanted to bang at the party is the same one who’s now holding his life in her hands. 

With everyone in the room discreetly mic’d up--including Miguel--there’s no need to turn down the music, and I use it to my advantage, wanting him as disoriented as possible so that he’s not focused on his words or the thoughts behind them.

“Three weeks ago, right here in London, two of our own were killed by a bomb that has your signature all over it. Wanna tell me who you sold that bomb to?”

Miguel laughs, a dry throaty sound that comes from too many cigars, and too much time around toxic chemicals; if one of us doesn’t kill him, I know for a fact cancer will get him in the end. 

“I sell bombs to many people. How am I supposed to remember who I’ve sold to a month ago, puta?”

I don’t have time to react as Max lunges in and connects with Miguel’s jaw in one of the most vicious right hooks I’ve seen him throw in a long time. 

“Talk to her like that again and I’ll dislocate the other side, y’cunt.” Max growls, teeth bared mere inches from Miguel’s face, leaving no room for interpretation of just how pissed he is. Without another word, Max takes Miguel’s face in his hand and relocates the joint he popped out, a scream coming from our informant as soon as he can open his mouth.

“See, Miguel, I’d like to think you’d remember, because this particular order had your initials on one of the plates, and I know you only do that when your order is for a single explosive device. Mass orders go through the factory, but the custom pieces, well...You’ve gotta take pride in your work, right?” I’ll give the man props, because if he’s searching for a lie, I can’t tell. His face stays unreadable apart from the discomfort from the light. 

I shoot Max a look just as the song switches over, and he nods. 

“Fuck this.” He barks, flipping a switch on the wall that immediately sends Miguel’s chair back into a 45 degree angle, the back legs hinged to the floor so he can never truly fall back, but feels  like he’s going to, just the same. With the lights directly in his line of sight, I can’t keep from smirking as I hear Miguel hiss and try to cover his eyes, the steel shackles on his wrists clanking loudly and only causing him more pain. 

“What is it, Miguel? Lights too bright?” I ask as I move to grab the first neatly folded towel from the pile. “Don’t worry, I got you.” 

Pressing the towel firmly against his face, I stand out of the way as Max pours the water from the jug. We both count silently in our heads, Max stopping at exactly the right number as I flick the switch to bring Miguel upright once more. 

Our informant coughs and sputters, screaming every vulgarity I’ve ever heard in Portuguese before spitting in our general direction. 

“THERE WAS NO NAME! IT WAS PURCHASED BY AN ENTITY!”

I roll my eyes, annoyed that a man who once gave up an internationally-wanted terrorist is now spewing bullshit about an entity. 

“So you sold your shit to a ghost? ‘That what you want me to believe?” I ask, feeling my own anger start to rise. I grab a fresh towel and Max and I repeat the process with surgical precision. It takes Miguel a little longer to cough up the water he’s swallowed, but when he’s finally able to speak, his voice is far more defeated. 

“Yes, in a manner of speaking. The entity I sold that bomb to is known as Cenere. I get a call with a location, date, and time for delivery. I get the specs sent via encrypted email, and when the time comes, I deliver, usually to a lock box in the middle of nowhere. That is all I know.”

Max looks at me and I know he’s itching to hit him again. I shake my head, squatting down in front of our informant so that he can see me clearly. 

“Is there anything else you want to tell us that may be important? For example, the location and date of the last delivery you provided for this entity?” I enunciate every word, my tone making it clear that I’ll be the one hitting him next if he tries to lie or get smart again. 

“L-last delivery was in Roma, by the Colosseum, a week ago.” He answers, still hoarse from inhaling water. 

“So whoever these people are, they’re planning another bombing,” I say, feeling the room behind me start moving; Rick and Dom looking up information, Flip packing our gear. We don’t have a lot of time. 

“Y-yes. The bomb that killed your amigos was delivered exactly two weeks before it detonated. That’s how they always do it.” Miguel adds, giving us an even narrower timeline to get to Rome. 

“Cut him loose,” I sigh, wishing Miguel could give us more to go on besides a location we’ll be getting to with zero prep time and even less information. 

Max moves towards him, a wolfish grin on his face. I close my eyes, knowing exactly what’s about to happen. 

“I sincerely hope someone strings you up by your balls and cuts them off with a piece of paper. This is for everyone you’ve had a hand in massacring. Especially my friends.” 

I don’t have to look to hear a few of Miguel’s teeth rattle to the floor. 

The room is starkly lit, the sickly blue tone reminiscent of a hospital. Empty aside from a plexiglass box filled with dirt and a pine-board coffin, there’s a feeling dread that emanates throughout the place. 

“Carmen? Carmen! Carmen, if you can hear me, you need to get me out. Get me the fuck out of here, Carmen. Carmen, please!! Please! I can’t-I can’t breathe! Carmen, don’t leave me here!” 

A heartbeat--elevated and distinct--couple with the sounds of hyperventilation to turn dread into pure fear. 

“CARMEN, PLEASE! I’M GOING TO DIE! DON’T LET THEM KILL ME!”

Something cuts through the air with a distinct zing, crashing heavily onto the floor. The box, the dirt, and the coffin are all sliced neatly, trapped almost perfectly between thick sheets of razor-sharp glass. All except the first slice, where the side of the coffin has fallen away, trapped at a skewed angle below the dirt. 

Rick looks like a fish out of water, gasping for breath, tears flooding his eyes. Despite being segmented like some primal experiment, every part of him still heaves with breath, organs pulsing with blood they no longer have, intact structurally despite being completely separated. 

“Carmen, please!” It’s a whisper now, the life going out of Jake’s eyes even as the tears sweep his face.

A long, low horn sounds, finalizing the horror that’s come to pass.

I wake screaming, tears pouring down my face. Not realizing where I am at first, I don’t even see the boys as I fight with my lap belt and haul ass out of the seat, vaulting over Dom’s legs and careening to the bathroom to throw up. It’s rare that I dream, but when I do, it’s never good. This one felt too real; felt like a message from a man I’m certain we buried. The room spins and I heave out what little is left from lunch earlier. When I’m certain there’s nothing left to get out, I sit back, sobbing. 

Once my breath stabilizes, I stand up and wash out my mouth, swilling the jet’s courtesy mouthwash before splashing cold water on my face. Stepping out of the small bathroom, I’m met with utter silence and four sets of eyes staring at me with concern. I can’t bring myself to tell them what I dreamt, and none of them need an intro into nightmares, as all of us, regardless of how little bloodshed we’ve seen, have them from time to time. 

Still feeling the panic in my throat, I decide against taking my old seat, not wanting to be caged in. Instead, I sit behind Dom’s aisle, resting my head against the cool plastic of the window and looking out, my mind reeling. What if the bomb isn’t what killed him and Benj? What if they suffered? What if-- I cut off my own mental processing, not wanting to go down the dark alleys of my mind, wiping my eyes to stem the flow of fresh tears. 

I feel a hand at my knee, and looking down, find Dom’s hand reaching back through the seats. Though he faces forward, it’s easy to tell what he’s doing, and I lace our fingers together loosely, taking the much-needed comfort of his touch. He gives my fingers a gentle squeeze, and I turn my face away further, not wanting any of the guys to see me like this.

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Just a lot of personal rambling behind the cut on how I feel about the way “going out alone” seems to be portrayed in media these days.

So, this came across my Twitter timeline and I took a look because I often have to go to concerts, drag shows or wrestling shows alone. My bestest friends don't live close by, my sister and I don't share the same taste in almost anything and my brother tends to be a homebody unless it is something he is super passionate about. I have a local friend that is nice enough to let me tag along with her or will come with me to stuff she isn't even that big of a fan of, but I don't want to bother her constantly and she is often busy with her own interests. Therefore, if I wanna do and see things that mean a lot to me, I gotta suck it up and go alone. 

And funnily enough, it isn't something that ever crossed my mind to be bothered about, which is weird since I am overly affected by others' opinions of me. And I'm forever being told by people online I'm too old to like wrestling, drag and my favorite bands. So the fact that I've gone to so much stuff by myself is a hilarious contradiction to who I usually am, but I'm glad about that, for once.

2 years ago, I think, I decided to be impulsive and get myself a VIP package to a Simple Plan concert. I haven't followed their music for YEARS because I didn't connect with their self titled album all that much so they fell off my radar. However, I always check in on them from time to time and I saw that they were going on an anniversary tour to celebrate an album that meant a lot to me, I listened to on repeat and was just a big influence on my life. So, if they were gonna play that album, I wanted to go and if I wanted to go, I had to go by myself. I was able to afford a VIP package so why not treat myself while I'm at it?

I got in early and since I did not want any merch, I somehow grabbed a spot on the barricade all the way in front of the left hand side of the stage. And I had an absolute blast. The openers were good, Simple Plan was just as energetic, silly and great on stage as I remembered. And then afterwards, I got to go to the Pizza Party that came along with my VIP package.

I felt awkward collecting my slice and can of pop because THEN I realized, not only was I oldest than everyone there (which was ALWAYS the case when I went to SP shows, except for any guardians at the shows), I also seemed to be the ONLY one there all by myself. BUT, I had my phone and my NorCal bestie is on Cali time so I had someone to talk to and I ate my pizza and drank my pop on the floor and was fine. 

When 4 of 5 members of the band showed up (David D didn't attend), they spread out on the floor. And like a drag show I attended at the House of Blues once, there were separate lines to meet n greet the guys. It was super chill.

I didn't need to worry about the drummer, cuz no, haha. I will not get into my history with him. But for Jeff, Seb and Pierre, I got in line. Even though I had my phone, I also had my awesome camera that my brother got me years ago that takes fantastic concert photos and videos. But if I wanted a photo on there, I had to ask for help, so I did. I turned around and asked the group behind me if someone would please take the photo for me. 

Someone agreed and asked me if I was alone, and when I confirmed that I was, she said to me, "Wow, you're so brave." That comment has STUCK IN MY CRAW ever since.

Make no mistake, LIVING YOUR LIFE is definitely an act of bravery for millions of people who are not me. So I was, and still am, baffled as to why attending a concert alone would be considered an act of bravery by anyone. What is going on in the younger generation that they see being alone as brave? That is HELLA worrisome because to me, that translates into people surrounding themselves with WRONG crowds and/or staying in bad situations JUST so they won't be alone. And that is frightening to me.

I know I am not a great person, but I know I'm not a horrible person. I have problems and issues, but I'm surprisingly comfortable being with myself and only myself for the sake of going out and being able to enjoy shows and acts and concerts that bring me joy. Happiness is so fleeting as it is, so if I can go out and capture it for a few hours and the only caveat is that I must do so alone, I'm gonna do it! 

But then stuff like this article pops up on me and shows me that the culture as a whole seems to view being alone or doing things alone as negative. At least negatively enough that people wanna tell you why it is NOT bad, or give you tips on how to cover up the fact you're alone ... and it's like, I'm nobody but as someone who has done a lot alone, how can I help someone else see that it is not the end of the world? I've had some of the best times of my life when I was by myself. 

So at the end of all this pointless and nonsensical rambling, if someone made it, I just want you to know this:

Going out alone to enjoy the things you love is not a big deal and not anything you should feel bad about

If it makes you nervous or anxious? 100% get it and sympathize. That’s a different battle to be fought and I’ve had to fight that one as well. 

But in terms of just LIVING YOUR LIFE? Don’t let the prospect of fun pass you by just because you’ll have to go alone. I did that for a long time, regretting it pretty much EVERY time. But the times I’ve said EFF IT and just done it? I’ve had so much fun and nothing but good memories to keep in my heart. 

My next single outing will most likely be C2E2 in March in Chicago. I bought myself a weekend pass and a Doctors Photo Op with David Tennant and Matt Smith. I’m TRYING to convince my brother to go since he’s the one who got me INTO Doctor Who but he really doesn’t wanna go. So? Gotta suck it up and do it myself! I hate con crowds, but there’s SO MUCH to see and do at a con (went to C2E2 my first time all alone to meet my favorite author, Sherrilyn Kenyon) that the hours fly (if I’m not waiting on a photo op or autograph lol) and before I know it, it’s over. But I had fun seeing a lot of neat cosplay and cool merch and hopefully having a cool handshake with people I admire! 

[iamacolor]

umm, i dont mean to sound rude but are we even banning posts from questionable users now? like the women from period pieces post was genuinely a good post and you added some valid points yourself in the tags but are we simply going to ignore everything everyone is going to say if theyve said shitty things as well? im just saying that puts such a huge moral burden on everyone about everything. maybe op has said some ridiculous things but that post wasnt one of them and i think that much moral policing... is a bit much? sorry for the rant and if i said something wrong im just surprised and confused anon would come into your inbox to question you about a random post because they made all the effort to go into the notes and evaluate what kind of person op, apart from their post, was.

hi anon! ah don't apologise for ranting i debated this myself when I answered the previous anon actually so it's okay that you're debating it too, for me the reasoning came down to I wouldn't want anyone to follow the op thinking they were going to get more interesting takes on period dramas and fashion and then be hit with terf posts (and very explicit ones at that which I saw when I went to the op's blog) especially because I know I have trans followers and although I don't consider it my responsibility to check who's the op of every post I reblog I feel like once I've been made aware of something and I've checked it for myself if I feel uncomfortable with it I don't have to keep it on my blog for others to see. I don't put on myself the pressure of being responsible for op's views or of sharing one about makeup in period pieces, just of getting rid of the content I don't feel comfortable with

and tbh I don't know how anon got that information on op and it they themselves go through every blog they reblog something from (and I really I don't think it's a thing that has to be done, there's no one on here or anywhere who hasn't said a shitty thing even they haven't gone as far as identifying as a part of a bigoted movement) and I don't know if they meant to police my blog or just share something they had fount out with me but once I was made aware I couldn't ignore it kind of like I don't check the history of every member of the cast or crew of all the movies or shows I watch but if I'm made aware that one of them is a criminal or openly bigoted I can decide to not include their content on my blog anymore or to avoid it in the future or to get rid of it etc

again when it comes to that post it was because I didn't want anyone to follow the op unknowingly and then risk being insulted or triggered by the terf content and because although the take on fashion and the policing of women's bodies was really interesting I didn't feel the need to have it on my blog to keep it in mind and it's something I had already thought about in the course of my studies/viewer's journey so I'll probably revisit it another way. maybe if it had been some other type of content like a list of links in the case of an attack or catastrophe somewhere to raise awareness or help people get donations maybe I wouldn't have deleted it but in the meantime i don't have to give a voice to someone I wouldn't feel comfortable with in real life

also I just deleted a reblog which I wouldn't say it quite as severe as banning especially because we know that doesn't work on tumblr but also I'm not sure i understand your first question correctly because if we don't do that for questionable users (and I wouldn't call the op of the mentioned post questionable, there's no question about the kind of discrimination they take part in) who are we going to do it for?