#i have gotten so invested I want to do them justice

[bookwyrminspiration]

:D

“Hey, hey, come back to me,” [Name] soothed, and [Name] took a gasp of a breath, shaky sight searching the room they hadn’t realized they’d left until it'd come crashing back. 

When had they gotten so close?

want a wip line? send me an emoticon!

[egcdeath]

cupid’s arrow

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: you and joel have your first valentine’s day together. (part of the soccer parents alternate universe)

warnings: alternate universe: no apocalypse, established relationship, domesticity, so much fluff. be prepared to call your dentist.

word count: 7.5k

author’s note: happy extremely late valentine’s day!!! i tried to incorporate a little bit of all the requests i got for this fic, so special thank you to everyone who helped make this fic happen!!

technically the timelines don’t really line up from this fic and the l word (many i love you’s are uttered) but you know what. it’s valentine’s day. valentine’s day magic ✨

“So, what’s your Valentine’s Day plan this year?” Sarah asked on her otherwise quiet commute to school.

Joel drew his attention away from the road to glance at his daughter and smiled to himself, just the slightest bit. He always found it oddly endearing to see just how invested his and your daughter were into your relationship. At this point, it was no secret that Sarah and Chloe had worked hard to set you and him up a multitude of times, and Joel certainly wasn’t mad about it. If anything, he was grateful for your kids being nosy and sharp enough to know when to make a move when you and himself clearly could not.

“Well I want our first one to be a good one, so I booked a reservation at this really nice restaurant. Pretty expensive, pretty hard to get into, but she deserves the best,” Joel said with a deceptively nonchalant tone.

Joel couldn’t even lie—he was proud of himself. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had spent Valentine’s day with anyone other than his daughter, and he’d booked the reservation the moment that it was available. The restaurant really was notorious for being hard to get into on a non-holiday, let alone Valentine’s Day, so he was sure you would appreciate the subtle-yet-grand gesture.

“Dad,” Sarah began, her tone slightly apprehensive as if she were preparing to break bad news to him. “I know this is your first Valentine’s Day in forever, but a restaurant is just… it isn’t enough anymore.”

“What?” Joel asked, slightly taken aback. Given that he hadn’t had a serious relationship in some time, and was more than slightly insecure about his ability to be as good of a partner as you expected, hearing his daughter explain that a fancy dinner wasn’t enough in the modern dating scene was jarring at the least, and terrifying at the most.

“Don’t worry. You’re lucky that your daughter is full of ideas. We’re gonna give your woman a perfect Valentine’s day.”

-

At your daughter’s request, you were painting Chloe’s nails to match the upcoming holiday to the absolute best of your ability. You tried your best, but your hand-eye coordination wasn’t amazing, so the best of your ability ended up being a set of pink nails with one red finger–but your daughter was enjoying the process regardless.

“So mom,” Chloe began, fanning one hand as she attempted to speed up the process of drying her nails. “What’re you getting Joel for Valentine’s day?”

“I was thinking of taking him on a date to his favorite cafe. Something a little more relaxed,” you lightly dabbed some acetone where you’d gotten some polish on her skin.

“That’s sweet but… are you sure Joel wants that? I mean, you two always go there. It’s not particularly romantic.”

It wasn’t exactly shocking that you weren’t great with big romantic gestures. Nathan had been morally opposed to them, or too lazy for them, or something that ensured no one ever did anything romantic for you, and in return, you very rarely did anything romantic for him. Given that the last time you spent a Valentine’s Day (or anniversary… really any day that called for romance) with someone was with him, you weren’t even really sure where to start.

“Oh,” you thought aloud, trying to process the idea that small gestures wouldn’t really do justice to portray just how much you loved and appreciated your partner. “I guess you’re right.”

“Let me help you,” she insisted, excitedly grabbing onto your arm as her eyes lit up.

Well, it wasn’t like Chloe wasn’t good at these things. If it wasn’t for her and Sarah’s intervention, you and Joel never would’ve been together in the first place. It certainly wouldn’t kill you to let her help you out in this field.

“Okay, fine,” you agreed, playing up your reluctance.

“Yay!” she cheered. “This is gonna be so fun.”

You certainly hoped it would be.

-

On the morning of Valentine’s day, you were somewhat surprised when your alarm went off and you found Joel’s side of the bed to be both empty and cold.

Considering that your plan was to wake up early to leave a gift in the kitchen before Joel had the chance to get there, your Valentine’s Day plans weren’t off to the best start. You immediately rolled out of bed and suppressed the groan you wanted to let out at the sweet smell wafting up from the kitchen—both from anticipation of something delicious waiting for you, and the knowledge that your plan had been foiled.

After doing some rummaging through his closet, you managed to find the box of the coffee machine that you’d hidden, and hesitantly began your trek downstairs, knowing that your big reveal would be slightly less ideal. When you arrived in the kitchen, Joel was standing at the stove and diligently working on something. He glanced back at you, and a smile instantly formed on his lips at the sight of you—bed hair, old pajamas, and all.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greeted, setting his spatula down and coming over to give you a tight embrace. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you said right back, relaxing into his hug despite the large box in your hands slightly obstructing it. “What’re you doing?”

“It’s a surprise,” Joel stated plainly, stepping back to look at what you were holding. “What’s this?”

“Your gift. I know you love coffee more than you love any person who’s in this house right now, so it’s time for you to get rid of your archaic machine. This is a Nespresso. Very modern and very good, or so I’ve heard,” you extended your hands to offer the box, which he gladly accepted

Joel examined it, the smile on his face not even faltering for a moment. With all this smiling, you were sure his cheeks would hurt by the end of the day. “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to use this,” he set down the box on the counter then gave you a peck. “Now, go back upstairs so I can finish working on your surprise.”

“Mm, sounds good,” you hummed, still fighting sleepiness as you retreated back up the stairs.

Well, your gift reveal may not have gone exactly the way you wanted it to, but you were pleased to see that Joel was still happy with what you gave him. Chloe would be proud.

“What is this?” Sarah asked, looking down at her plate of oddly shaped pink pancakes.

It was clear that this was what Joel had gotten up early to work on—Valentine’s Day themed pancakes. Although there was clearly an attempt at making what you could only assume were hearts, the pancakes came out as blobs more than anything else.

“…Hearts?” Joel suggested, sounding very unsure of his answer as he sipped his cup of coffee (made by his brand new machine).

“Dad…” Sarah trailed off, pushing around parts of her pancake.

“Are you gonna eat them or not?” Joel retorted, obviously a little less than enthusiastic about the reaction to the pancakes he’d gotten up early to work on, and worked quite hard on.

“I’m not gonna say no to breakfast.”

“I tried my best. It’s harder than it looks, okay?”

“They’re cute,” you interrupted. “It’s the thought that counts. I love them,” you hummed. The least you could do was support Joel in his romantic endeavors. Sure, the pancakes didn’t look amazing, but it really was a sweet gesture. And maybe they didn’t look the best, but they certainly tasted good.

Sarah didn’t exactly look like she believed you, and she glanced skeptically at Chloe, who was quietly giggling at the oddly shaped amoebas on her plate.

“I’m not an artist,” Joel explained, almost apologetically as your kids picked at their pancakes.

“We can tell,” Chloe murmured, earning herself a glare from you and a giggle from her friend.

“I never asked you to be one,” you assured. “It’s abstract. And it’s good enough for me.”

Joel quickly pecked your lips, eliciting a collective ‘ew!’ from the table.

“Alright, that’s enough from you two. Finish up quickly so we can get you to school on time,” you instructed.

The girls reluctantly agreed and finished up their abstract plates without much more protest or teasing before grabbing their last few items and heading off to the car.

“Did you actually like it? You can be honest with me,” Joel asked as you finished off your mug of coffee.

“I was being honest! I really did love it. It’s sweet that you put so much effort into doing something nice for me. Waking up all early, being in the kitchen all morning… I bet doing pancake art is pretty difficult.”

“It is, and you’d never guess that it is. The batter kinda just runs all over the place,” he explained, grabbing your empty dish and dropping it off at the sink. You got out of your seat and followed him over to where he stood, attempting to assure him that you really did enjoy the thoughtfulness of his gesture.

“Well, I love that you tried so hard to make something nice for me to wake up to,” you took a step closer to Joel, giving him a brief little peck to show your appreciation. “And I love you.” you leaned in for one slightly longer kiss and Joel’s hands softly cupped your cheeks as the kiss deepened.  

Joel finally pulled away, dropping his hands down from your cheeks to your hands so he could hold them. “As much as I’d like to kiss you all morning, we do have two kids waiting to be taken to school sitting in my backseat right now.”

“Unfortunately, you’re right,” you sighed. “Can we pick up where we left off when we get back?”

“Of course,” he agreed, beginning to lead you out the door.

-

Although your morning plans may have fallen through, your plan to pick up on your make-out session certainly did not, which was how you found yourselves waiting for the shower to warm up so you could hop in together and wash off the ever present scent of sweat and sex.

“It’s been too long since we last showered together,” you remarked, testing out the heat of the water with the palm of your hand before taking a step inside.

“It’s just that my shower is so small,” he explained, following you into the shower. “And we always end up thinking showering together is better than it actually is.”

“It is small, but I like being this close to you,” you countered, hugging him from behind. “We’re bonding. Don’t you like bonding with me?”

“I do, until one of us slips, and won’t stop talking about how they almost died for an entire day,” he set his hands on top of yours as you embraced him.

“That was once, Joel. One time!” you exclaimed, breaking away from your partner to reach for his shampoo.

“One time too many,” he responded.

Although ‘almost dying’ was a bit of an over-dramatization, it certainly wasn’t fun to fall in the shower. The day began as a slow Sunday morning at Joel’s place. Your daughter was at Nathan’s for the weekend, and Sarah had been at a sleepover with some friends. Given that the two of you had the house to yourselves, you certainly made the most of it before heading to the shower to clean yourselves up. Halfway through Joel assisting you in exfoliating your legs, you were met with the sound of a door opening and closing downstairs, making you practically leap out of your skin, and lose your balance, leading you to fall pretty hard. Joel helped you up and immediately began to take care of you, and granted you weren’t too badly injured, but you refused to let Joel forget the time you dramatically tripped in the shower because Sarah got home from her sleepover a little early.  

“I can’t believe you’re treating me like this on Valentine’s Day,” you sighed, pouring some shampoo and reaching into his hair to massage his scalp. “We should probably break up.”

“I agree,” Joel practically sighed, relaxed from the way your fingers were working in his hair. “I think it’s for the best.”

“Okay, I’ll let the girls know when we get out of the shower. The parents that they worked so hard to set up are never going to see or speak to each other ever again,” you said the words very seriously, but the way you were massaging Joel’s scalp told a completely different story.

“Sounds like a plan,” Joel purred, letting you work your magic as you played with his hair. “You’re too good at this. Why don’t I let you do my hair more often?”

“Psht, you're preaching to the choir here,” you reached forward to rinse off your hands. “For the record, this is one of your Valentine’s gifts. Savor it while you can. Especially before we finalize our breakup.”

“I’m savoring,” he insisted.

You two took your time in the shower, truly enjoying an endeavor you didn’t often do with each other. By the time you finally stepped out, the water had dropped several degrees, and you were both becoming human prunes.

Just moments after Joel wrapped his towel around his hips, he had disappeared back into his room, leaving you peeking past the bathroom door to see what he was up to. It certainly wasn’t unheard of for one of you to get ready without the other, but you preferred to have his presence with you in that humid little bathroom.

Joel came back just a few moments later, slightly more dressed, and now wielding a flat, red box.

“I got you something,” he announced as he joined you at the sink, bashfully looking down at the item in his hands.

“Oh?” you said curiously, glancing at the box as Joel slowly opened it, revealing a thin, silver necklace with what looked like a small diamond attached to it.  

“It’s a necklace,” he explained, beginning to lift the dainty accessory out of the box so that he could fully display it to you.

You were immediately taken aback by it, an involuntary, “It’s beautiful,” slipping from your lips.

“Can I put it on you?” Joel asked cautiously. You eagerly agreed, excited to have a little piece of Joel on you at all times. You turned around and lifted up the back of your hair so that he could gently wrap the necklace around your neck, and he fumbled a bit with the clasp until it was just right.

“I love it,” you expressed, observing it in the mirror and running a finger against the chain of the necklace as you fully took it in. “This is too nice.”

“Nothing is too nice for you, my love.”

“You are such a sap,” you laughed, leaning forward to get a good look at the accessory and fully admire its beauty.

“And you love that about me,” Joel punctuated his sentence with a kiss to your cheek, leading you to giggle like a schoolgirl.

“You’re right. I do. Thank you,” you said, still checking yourself out with your new piece of jewelry.

“Can I take you somewhere?” you asked, glancing over at your partner in the mirror as he reached for his toothbrush.

“Sure. Where?”

“It’s a surprise,” you said with a knowing smile.

“So, where are we going?” Joel asked as you drove, the sunglasses on your nose preventing him from getting a good read on you.

“What part of surprise do you not get?” you teased, glancing over at him with a smirk. “We’re almost there. Hold your horses.”

Eventually, you pulled up to a little strip of businesses, and grabbed Joel’s hand as you led him out of the car and through a door.

You two were instantly hit with the smell of fragranced oil and the sound of rain from a sound maker as you walked further into the dim location. It was clear to you that Joel was still more confused than anything else.

“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” Joel asked you in a whisper.

“Yes Joel, we are,” you laughed softly at his apprehension. To be fair, he didn’t have an idea of where he was or what you were making him do, but that didn’t make his nerves any less entertaining.

“And where exactly is that?” he followed up.

“We’re getting massages! C’mon,” you beckoned him to follow you up to a desk, where a bored-looking receptionist checked you in.

The two of you sat next to each other in the waiting room, waiting for your masseuses to prepare your room.

“What made you pick this?” Joel asked curiously.

“I dunno, you’re always telling me how sore you are after work. I thought maybe this would help your pain a little. It’s also very relaxing. You’re gonna love it and have a great time.”

There really weren’t too many problems you found that a nice massage at this salon couldn’t fix. When you found the time in your busy schedule to treat yourself to something nice and do a little self care, a deep tissue massage was always one of the first things you decided on doing. It was only a matter of time before you brought Joel along with you, and when you casually mentioned something about Joel to your masseuse, she did mention wanting to see him. Although, Chloe was the one to put the puzzle pieces together to you and suggest the couples’ massage.

“So you’ve done this before?” Joel questioned, still looking somewhere between a little cynical and a little trepidatious.

“Mhm,” you hummed, already imagining yourself getting every kink and bump in your back teased out.

“Walk me through it,” he suggested, seeming a little more comforted knowing that you had actually done this before.

“Well, we go in, they leave, and we strip down to our comfort level, then they just give us a nice deep tissue massage. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it starts feeling pretty good pretty quickly.”

Joel’s expression circled back to slightly skeptical, his brow raised and eyes slightly squinted as he looked at you.

“Don’t make that face! You’re gonna love it. And I’m literally gonna be right next to you. When I called to book this, the receptionist said that the massage tables are so close together, we could hold hands the whole time if we wanted to.”

“Alright, fine. But if I hate it, I get to say that I told you so.”

“Okay, deal,” you agreed.

Your massage was going so well, you swore you were on a different planet. Sure, you didn’t have a very physically labor intensive job, but all the stress you'd accumulated over the last… however long always seemed to find itself stuck in your body. The massage was doing exactly what it needed to in terms of getting it out.

Joel groaned your name, his voice slightly distorted by his face being buried in the head pillow. “I take back everything I said.”

“I know,” you responded, far too gone to even really process what he was saying.

Walking out of that studio, you felt like a brand new person. Maybe that person was a little oily, but you felt like your body had gone under a complete transformation in just that hour.

“I can’t tell if I want to take a nap or run a marathon,” you exclaimed, stretching out your rejuvenated limbs.

“That was an amazing gift. Can we make this a V-Day tradition?” Joel asked, opening the car door for you.

“Hell yeah,” you agreed, getting into the passenger’s seat and breathing out a heavy sigh. “To think you thought you wouldn’t like it. Now I get to say I told you so.”

“Fair. I deserve it. That was life changing. I could marry you for thinking of that.”

Chloe actually thought of that, but Joel didn’t need to know that. For all you cared, he could keep thinking that you were the romantic genius.

“So what’s next on the agenda?”

“Just sit and wait. It’s a bit of a drive, so maybe you can get in that nap you wanted.”

You unsurprisingly slept like a rock after that massage. So much so, that you woke up to Joel softly saying your name and gently shaking your shoulder as he attempted to let you know that you’d arrived at your next destination.

When you opened your eyes, you were met with a an interesting looking building in front of you, one you’d seen in tourism handouts, but hadn’t yet visited for yourself—despite the many times you said you wanted to.

“Is this an art museum?” you asked aloud despite already knowing the answer.

Joel simply flashed you a toothy grin before popping out of the car, walking around it, and opening the door for you.

“I know you’ve been saying you want to come visit for a while,” he explained, slipping his hand into yours while you walked inside.

“I don’t know why I’m so surprised that you actually listen to me. Thank you,” you expressed.

You and Joel took your time walking around the museum, exploring the exhibits, reading the labels on pieces, and taking in all of the interesting and beautiful art. It was refreshing to come to a museum and not be rushed the whole time by an impatient daughter or disinterested spouse, and Joel expressing every now and then that despite being surrounded by so much beauty and artwork, you were the prettiest thing in the museum certainly enhanced your experience.

The two of you entered an exhibit that was obviously targeted towards children as you approached the end of the building, and your eyes immediately fell on a station that was clearly designed for kids to use. You walked towards it, and plopped down on one side of the tiny table before Joel sat down right across from you.

“Isn’t this for kids?” he asked you, his knees audibly creaking as he attempted to get comfortable on his tiny stool.

“Whatever. They’re all at school anyway. Or at least, they should be,” you grabbed a marker that was on your side of the divider, along with a piece of paper. “Wanna draw each other?”

“Haven’t we already established today that there’s not an artistic bone in my body?”

“C’mon, Joel,” you pleaded. “Please? As a Valentine’s Day gift?”

“Fine. Only because I love you. But you’re not allowed to laugh.”

“Swear,” you agreed despite knowing that it was more likely than not that you were going to laugh. While Joel reached for his own writing utensil and paper, you set your hand in front of the timer on the desk, giving you both five minutes to work on your portrait.

The man across from you focused deeply on his paper, looking pensively and seriously down at his paper and up at you every now and then rather than actually putting his marker to the paper.

After five minutes, the built-in alarm went off, and you both put your markers down, evaluating the work you had done.

“I don’t know if you want to see this. It’s really bad,” Joel confessed, awkwardly moving the paper out of your direct eyeline.

“It’s definitely not! Here, we’ll show each other at the same time. On the count of three?”

The two of you lifted your papers at the same time, and you involuntarily giggled when you looked at Joel’s. It was more or less an extremely basic stick figure with hearts around it. To be frank, your picture of Joel was basically the same.

“Hey, part of our agreement is that you wouldn’t laugh!” Joel said in between laughter of his own.

“Joel, you’re laughing too!” you giggled, the two of you progressively laughing harder until your stomachs were hurting. Eventually, you were able to catch your breath and collect yourself enough to get some actual words out. “Here, let’s swap. I wanna put this on my fridge.”

“Please don’t,” Joel gasped as he tried to catch his breath. “I don’t think I’ll ever live that down with our daughters.”

“Oh honey,” you responded, still fighting your fits of giggles. “That was the plan.”

-

After your museum date, you and Joel grabbed a quick lunch at a nearby cafe before heading back to the girls’ school to pick them up. You’d agreed to split up for the rest of the afternoon so that you had time to prepare for a nicer dinner in the evening.

It had been a long time since you’d dressed up like this. Although it was fun to get all dolled up, to put on a new matching set of lingerie under a new, formfitting dress, spend a good amount of time working on your makeup at your vanity, and take your time doing your hair, you couldn’t shake off the nervous feeling you were getting.

“Mom! Joel’s here!” Chloe yelled from your living room.

“You can let him in! I need to finish something up.”

You heard the familiar sound of conversation between Joel, Sarah, and Chloe while you finished up applying your lipstick, taking deep breaths as you did so. You just needed to see Joel, then you would feel better. To be quite honest, you were slightly intimidated by the restaurant he’d picked that night. Obviously you knew how exclusive and difficult to get in it was, but with how elite it was, part of you worried that you would stick out like a sore thumb.

But Joel had clearly worked so hard on making this night perfect for you, so you weren’t going to let a few nerves get you down. You grabbed your purse and headed downstairs, where your partner stood in your living room listening to your kids.

“Wow,” Joel said involuntarily when his eyes fell upon you. He immediately took a few steps towards you, setting a hand on your waist as he admired you.

“I don’t know why it always surprises me when I see how gross you guys are,” Chloe said, somewhere between a laugh and a cringe. “Okay, it’s time for you to get going. You don’t want to miss your reservation,” your daughter was practically pushing the two of you out the door, a little too enthusiastic to have the two of you gone. “Bye now!”

You finally were able to get a good look at Joel once you’d been shoved out of the door. He looked amazing in a well fitted suit, and a bouquet of red roses in hand.

“You look so handsome,” you gushed as you accepted his flowers. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I mean, you always look gorgeous, but you somehow found a way to look even more amazing.”

“Well thank you!” you giggled, letting Joel open the door to his car for you like the gentleman he was.

Joel sat down in the driver's seat, and began to head in the direction of the restaurant. Despite how late you were on the road, it seemed like traffic in the city was particularly bad. You and Joel kept up a light conversation, but the elephant in the room was clearly the traffic, and the fact that with every passing minute, the traffic only seemed to grow.

Your eyes flicked around in a cycle between the traffic ahead of you, your hot, but increasingly anxious date, and the clock on the dashboard. With just a few minutes until the time of your reservation, you finally piped up.

“Do you think we’re gonna make it on time?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” Joel answered quickly, his nerves quite obvious from the speed of his speech. He then followed it up with a slightly less agitated, “I hope so.”

“You know what? I’ll call and let them know we’re running late,” you suggested, reaching for your phone as if that would solve all issues.

That would make things better, right? You knew all that went into Joel getting this reservation, and you weren’t just gonna let it all slip away because of a little traffic.

You pressed your device to your ear and the phone rang once, then twice, then three times before you were informed by a robotic voice that the line was busy.

The scene of traffic didn’t seem to be getting any better either, with the cars in front of you essentially coming to a full stop every now and then. Time was quickly passing by, yet you weren’t making much progress distance-wise.  

You called again to no avail, and attempted to maintain your composure. They would pick up soon enough, and you would get to your reservation on time, and you and Joel would have a lovely evening at that very fancy, exclusive restaurant.

Finally, someone on the other line picked up. You breathed out a sigh of relief as you were finally able to connect with an actual person, and attempt to explain your situation to them.

“We are aware of the car accident and the traffic jam it caused. However, regardless of external circumstances, our grace periods only last ten minutes. Unfortunately we’ve already given away your table to someone else on the waitlist. Our deepest and sincerest apologies.”

You looked over at Joel helplessly, disappointed to deliver the news about something he’d been so excited for for so long.

“Okay, thank you,” you said, quickly hanging up. “I’m sorry,” was the first thing you said to Joel. “They gave our table away.”

“You’re joking,” he said almost flatly, clearly in disbelief that something he’d worked so hard to plan for had slipped through his fingers so easily, and over circumstances that were completely out of his control.

“I’m sorry. We were later than their grace period. But it’s okay! We can just go somewhere else. I’ve heard about a few good restaurants nearby?”

“It’s Valentine’s day. They’re all gonna be fully booked,” he sighed, defeat clear in his tone. “Should I just turn around?”

“No! Right now I’m hungry enough that I’d eat your shoe if you put it in front of me with some silverware. Just… take me anywhere. Maybe somewhere you like? Preferably without a long line?”

Joel fell silent as he thought for a moment, trying to come up with a location that he enjoyed that wouldn’t be particularly busy that evening. As he pondered, a light bulb seemed to go off in his mind, leading him to turn his vehicle around and begin to take you elsewhere.

Your heels clicked against the pavement as Joel took your hand and led you towards a food truck. The smoky aromas hitting your nose were nothing short of heavenly, and if Joel believed that it was good, you were definitely taking his word for it.

“Is that… Joel, is that you?” the man in the window asked in disbelief as the two of you approached.

“It is,” he confirmed, a bit shyly.

“Damn, man! I almost didn’t recognize you all dressed up! What’s the-“ his eyes fell upon you, and his face lit up as he put the pieces together. “Who’s this?”

Joel introduced you by name, and wrapped an arm around you subconsciously. “We’re just celebrating Valentine’s Day.”

“Well you picked the right spot. Nice to meet you, sweetheart. I’m Louis.”

“Hi Louis. You know Joel?” you asked, curious about the camaraderie the pair seemed to have.

“I practically watched him grow up, so yeah, I guess so,” he flashed the two of you a smile, the look he gave Joel slightly more knowing than the soft one he offered you. “What’re we ordering tonight?”

Joel looked at you and shrugged, giving you the go-ahead for anything. It wasn’t like he wasn’t planning on spending a whole mortgage and kidney worth on food at the restaurant you had a reservation at.

You ordered a few different things from his menu, led more by your eyes and nose than your stomach. Louis nodded as you spoke before calling something out to the people working by the grill, and maintaining his position at the window so he could talk to you two.

“Why haven’t I met your friend before, Joel?” Louis asked, teasing in his voice.

“Well, obviously I was waiting for the most romantic day of the year to bring her here,” he looked away from his family friend and back to you. “You know, most people say that bringing your partner here is basically like having a ring in your hand and dropping to one knee.”

“Oh?” you laughed. “I’m flattered. Are you proposing to me?”

“No, not yet,” Joel shot a wink at you, and you felt a slight warmth rise to your cheeks. Of course, he was joking, but if he asked you in that moment to marry him, you’d probably say yes.

“Depending on how good this is, I may be proposing to you, Louis,” you teased, deflecting from the fantasy of marrying your partner.

“Hey! No need for that. Joel’ll bring you to one of my barbecues this summer. I promise you’ll eat so much of my food that you’ll never even want to even think about it again. Right, Joel?���

“Correct. Why do you think it’s been so long since I’ve visited you last?”

“Oh, excuses, excuses,” Louis dismissed, glancing back over his shoulder at the employee preparing your food. “Well lovebirds, since it’s Valentine’s Day, how’d you meet?” he questioned curiously, leaning further onto the ledge so he could get a good look at you and Joel.

“Our kids played soccer together on the same team, so we met through arguing like, all the time,” you laughed, glancing over at Joel who seemed just the slightest bit embarrassed at your frankness of your unconventional meet-cute.

“It sounds kinda bad when you put it like that. We were basically flirt-arguing,” Joel attempted to explain.

“Maybe you were. I was just arguing. But eventually our girls became friends, and we were forced to spend more time together, and I realized he’s not half bad,” you were downplaying just how much you adored the man standing next to you for a bit of comedic effect, but the quick look the two of you shared seemed to communicate everything it needed to for Louis.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Joel said, cracking an adoring half-smile at you.

“That is too damn sweet,” Louis expressed as he looked between the two of you. He had to do a bit of reading in between the lines, but it was clear to him that the two of you were a rather happy pair, as evidenced by your comfortable body language and the fond teasing. He was clearly quite pleased to see Joel as happy as he was with you. “As much as I’d like to chat and hear more, your order is unfortunately ready. We’ll catch up another time?”

Louis turned around to grab your boxes, and leaned back over the ledge to pass them to Joel.

“Of course. If I don’t get back around sometime soon, we’ll definitely be at one of your barbecues this summer.”

“Good,” Louis nodded. “And before you head back home, stop back over here. I’ll make Sarah her favorite, and something for your daughter too!” he offered you both.

Louis’ barbecue was no joke. You and Joel absolutely demolished everything that was ordered as you laid in the bed of his truck, sat on the blankets Joel had packed for a previous picnic and had never seemed to put back.

“Why hadn’t you brought me here sooner?” you asked, sauce on the edges of your lips. “I feel like a brand new person after this.”

Joel reached over, dabbing at your mouth with a napkin to clean up what you missed. “I told you, this is like serious engagement food. If I brought you here too early on, I might’ve scared you off by moving too fast,” he jokingly explained as he set down the napkin and dragged himself a little closer to you.

You playfully rolled your eyes at the explanation, but leaned onto Joel regardless. “Yeah, whatever,” you muttered, setting your head on his shoulder and looking up at the night sky.

“Do you remember that night when you helped me out with making the team dinner?” Joel seemingly asked out of the blue, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“I do,” you nodded, glancing away from the sky and instead looking at Joel. “We’re a pretty great team.”

“We are,” Joel agreed, pausing for a moment. “Do you remember when I asked you out for the first time?”

“Of course I do.”

“I was so nervous. I really liked you a lot, but I wasn’t completely sure you’d say yes, and I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we’d been working on, or make things awkward for the girls. I just kept looking at the sky so I wouldn’t see you and think about all of those things,” he confessed, looking to the sky as he spoke.

“Are you nervous now?” you asked, noticing him watch the stars above you.

“No,” he assured you. “It’s just really beautiful out here tonight. Really clear.”

You leaned in closer, practically sitting on the lap of the man next to you at that point, “Do you see anything good up there?”

“Yeah,” Joel answered, his words blowing a few strands of hair as he spoke.

“Show me?” you asked, curiously peering up at the sky to attempt to see what Joel might’ve been seeing.

“Of course,” he agreed. “Well that right there is the big dipper. And the little dipper, too.”

“Where?” you asked, despite seeing it clearly. You had stargazed with Joel a handful of times, and he always did this cute thing when he saw something that you couldn’t see—grabbing your hand and leaning into you while he pointed out the stars with your own fingers, essentially cuddling you as he did so. His knowledge of what he was looking for, the competency in his actions, and the proximity he kept with you always drove you a little bit wild, and you’d be a fool to turn down an opportunity of getting that side of him out.

Joel took the bait, not even realizing that it was bait. He gently guided your arm to point out the constellation, speaking quietly next to your ear as he narrated what he was seeing. It was taking everything in you not to jump his bones then and there as he helped you see each set of stars.

After a period of pointing out constellations to each other, the two of you finally seemed to run out of observations to make, leaving you quietly sharing space on the blanket laid out in the bed of Joel’s truck.

“This has been my favorite Valentine’s day ever,” you expressed, gazing up at the stars with far less effort than you’d had previously. “I do love spending the day with you, but you really went out of your way to make today sweet. I appreciate it.”

“Hey, I can’t take all the credit. You are the one who arranged that absolutely life changing massage, and the Nespresso machine was great too. I will definitely be using it all the time now.”

“You know, it’s so weird. I used to hate Valentine’s day. Dread it every year because I just knew I’d be disappointed. But you changed that for me. Maybe it’s all the stuff we got to do, but I honestly think I’d be happy doing laundry or something with you today, as long as it meant I’d get to be with you.”

You were thoroughly exhausted after your day of Valentine’s activities, paired with the digestion you were going through after all of that dangerously delicious barbecue you and Joel had consumed. It was safe to say that the ride back to your place was a quiet one, only filled with the occasional uncomfortable grunt or a comment reminiscing on how good your dinner was.

By the time you opened your door, you were shocked to find your living room completely uprooted and transformed into a massive pillow fort. Your daughters, who conveniently were sitting inside of the fort, didn’t seem to notice you as you came in, as they were far too caught up in the Hallmark movie they were watching. Eventually, the sound of feet shuffling caught their attention, and the pair were out of the fort in record time.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” they both cheered, making jazz hands towards the fort.

“To commemorate your first date, we built you a new and improved pillow fort,” Sarah explained, as she continued to Vanna White their creation.

“This time, it’s big enough for all of us. You’ve had enough alone time today,” Chloe expressed. “Come, come! Are you ready for the tour?”

Your kids showed you the inside of the fort, and there honestly wasn’t much to see. However, it was still quite impressive that they’d managed to pull off putting together such a big fort in such a short period of time.  

“But before we lay down, go change into pajamas. No one should be in a pillow fort in a suit. That’s just ridiculous,” Sarah remarked

“You heard the girl, go!” Chloe emphasized, herding you two upstairs without even giving you time to voice any sort of protest.

“You really went all out this year,” Joel gushed as he followed you into your bedroom.

Hearing him say that did make you feel a little guilty. Sure he didn’t need to know that Chloe had done most of the heavy lifting when it came to celebrating this holiday, but it felt wrong to keep things from him—even something as small as not coming up with original ideas.

“Joel, I have to tell you something,” you began hesitantly as he unzipped your dress.

“Oh no. Are you breaking up with me? Are you pregnant?” he glanced at you over your shoulder.

“No! And no, that’s just my food baby. It’s just that… basically everything I did for you today, Chloe helped me come up with. I was gonna get you a box of chocolates, show you this number,” you gestured at the lingerie revealed by your fallen dress, “then call it a day.”

“You wanna know the truth?” he asked before reaching into your dresser and tossing you a set of pajamas. “I needed Sarah’s help for almost everything today, too. Obviously it was a great day, but… I don’t need fancy things from you or huge romantic gestures, despite what our children might think. Your love alone is plenty.”

“Promise?” you asked, pulling on your pajama shirt.

“Swear.”

“Can we shake on doing a massage and getting barbecue next Valentine’s Day, nothing more and nothing less?”

“That sounds perfect,” Joel agreed, shaking your hand to drive in the point of your agreement. “Now let’s go check out that pillow fort.”

Chloe and Sarah snuggled against you as a new, cheesy rom-com played out on the television in front of you.

“So, how was your V-Day?” Chloe asked, looking between you and Joel mischievously. Obviously, the kids were curious about the fruits of their labor, and you genuinely could not blame them. With all the effort they’d put into making your day great, they deserved to know just how pleasant it was.

“It was amazing,” you confirmed, squeezing your daughter’s shoulder.

“We couldn’t have done it without you two,” Joel added, tossing a not-so-subtle wink at Sarah.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Sarah asked with a slightly uncomfortable laugh.

“It means that you two are hopeless romantics, and without your guys’ help, we would’ve had a painfully boring Valentine’s Day,” you explained.

“Can you blame us for wanting to help you two old farts out? You haven’t celebrated this holiday in like 200 years,” Chloe retorted.

“Nothing wrong with that,” you affirmed. “You guys are good eggs. Is it too late to ask you both to be my Valentine?”

“Yes,” Chloe deadpanned.

“Nope,” Sarah said, popping her ‘p’. “But only if you get us heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.”

“I think that can be arranged. Right, Joel?” you asked.

“Fine. I’ll pick up some discounted chocolates after work tomorrow,” Joel said it begrudgingly, but deep down you knew that his softie heart was bursting with love for your family.

“Thank you. Happy Valentine’s day, my lovely loves,” you expressed, pulling the girls next to you closer to emphasize your point.

“Ew, mom,” Chloe squealed, only egging you on to pepper her cheeks in kisses.

This had by far been your favorite Valentine’s Day, and it really wasn’t even close. When you were surrounded by your favorite people in the world, doing something ridiculously thoughtful and sentimental, there was no way you could ever ask for more.

[deconstructthesoup]

Some miscellaneous stuff for the Fantasy High Leverage AU:

After getting kicked out, Kristen got taken in by Ankarna and Cassandra, who are living their best country-lesbian vibes out on a farm together---a farm which eventually gets in financial trouble and almost gets shut down by a corporation, which is how the crew learn about Kristen's past before she was a hitter. The farm winds up doubling as a safehouse. (Also, Ankarna wears flannels and has a shotgun, and Cassandra does tarot readings at their stall at the farmer's market on weekends. They also have a little black cat, with no relation to Kalina.)

Despite all the rumors swirling around, the way Fig and Fabian met is surprisingly mundane: when Gilear moved from Portland back to London after he and Sandralynn divorced, Fig went with him, and she got enrolled in the same school that Fabian was attending. The two of them became fast and immediate friends, wound up becoming the most popular kids there due to their combined chaos and the fact that they were kind to those who needed it, and were pretty much inseparable from that point forward. And when Fig introduced Gilear to Fabian's mom, who'd been widowed for a while and was looking for someone stable... well, as much as Fabian complained, it meant that he and Fig were officially siblings. (They learned how to grift from Hallariel, who was a very well-renowned thief in her day. It's how she met Bill, after all.)

Fig is the sibling who's the "bad actor in a theater setting, good actor when she's breaking the law" type, though it's a bit more complex than that. She's amazing at coming up with a character on the spot, building off of the questions that people ask her, and remembering details so none of the information contradicts what she's already said, but she finds scripts "boring and restrictive," and always tries to put her own spin on things... which doesn't always fit well. She does get a little better at following a script of sorts when she's on the crew---at least, she learns to follow the plan.

Kristen hasn't gone by "Kristen Applebees" since she was fifteen---instead, the criminal underworld knows her by "Kristen Justice-Forester," referencing her adoptive moms. Mostly because that sounds generally more badass, but also because she really wants to forget about her old life as the church girl next door.

Gorgug's legal name is "Gavin Thistlespring," but he's been going by Gorgug since he was twelve---it was the name of his first ever D&D character, and it eventually became his hacker handle. (This is really because I just needed an explanation as to why a perfectly normal human in a world that's basically ours would be named "Gorgug." I do something similar for Fig in a lot of my AUs---her name's either just "Fig," or she's named after a character from a fantasy series that Sandralynn likes.)

Someone suggested that Kalina is the Sterling equivalent, and I liked it so much that I decided to make it canon---but instead of being Riz's former partner, she's his dad's old partner and mentor who was forced to help cover up Pok's death. She's not necessarily bad, but she does have a very black-and-white view of morality, and she's not a fan of Riz's new, less-than-legal idea of justice.

Adaine still has the Parker rep of being "crazy," but in a very different light. Rather than being a thrill-seeking ball of chaos who's an unpredictable wildcard in every way when the story begins, she's unsettlingly quiet, perceptive to the point where she can predict things minutes in advance, and acts seemingly without morality and with her own skewed logic. As she spends more time with the crew and warms up to them, however, everyone starts to see that Adaine is unflinchingly and unfailingly kind---and that once she actually warms up to you, she will talk nonstop about anything she's invested in, whether it be obscure history facts, thieving tips, or whatever show, book, or video game that one of the others has gotten her hooked on. She's just closed off as a defense mechanism.

Fabian is the sibling with a deep and personal bond with Riz---not that Fig isn't close to him, but Fabian and Riz shot each other when they first met, and you can't beat that. And while Fabian used to have a thing for Riz, he eventually realized that Riz wasn't interested in any kind of relationship, though neither of them fully had the words for it (because, y'know, this story still starts in 2008). Still, though, he considers Riz his best friend and vice versa, and once he's on the crew, he never dates anyone without introducing them to Riz first. And his affections tend to bounce back and forth between Gorgug and Ragh. Or both. Let's just say that Fabian's got the most romantic drama out of any of them.

Riz is still close with his mom, despite the fact that, as a lawyer and former cop, he knows that she probably wouldn't approve of what he does. He just tells her that he runs a private detective agency, which isn't too far from the truth---hell, it's their cover story, after all.

Fabian's father was the greatest thief in the world when he was alive, but that came with a lot of enemies, and that's not something that Fabian wants to deal with---not to mention, he's always been adamant about making a name for himself, and to not just skate by on the Seacaster name. If that means that he has to refer to himself as "Fabian Faeth," well... so be it. He reasons that it's Fig's last name. Not Gilear's.

Fig has never met her bio-dad before the story begins... but she does meet him eventually. There's a whole thing there.

Adaine does not kill Angwyn in her backstory. However, she does get to do that eventually, and it's cathartic as fuck.

[blackmoonoracle]

PICK A CARD - THE ☕ON UR ENEMIES

PILE ONE

I can see where there was an immense imbalance occurring. It looks like the scales are on the verge of shifting again. It's possible that things up until recently have been going pretty decently for your enemies. I believe there were lessons you needed to experience in order to rise above states of being that served you in no way shape or form. It's weird because I think this shift is very unprecedented by your enemies. This is very much an unexpected- not exactly usurp of power? Because I do see here where you are entitled to being empowered and learning to come back on top. DON'T let yourself become consumed with pride or immaturity. Let the scales move as they're meant to. It's important to mind your business and move in accordance with your highest good. I see here that a QUICK shift is coming, it is possible that people have been feeding on your energy in order to sustain themselves. Without even having awareness. Perhaps you will call back your power and it will shift the scales back into balance. Do not forget all that you've learned. I do see here that there will be a major moment of egotism that could drag down your enemy(ies)? I heard Judas, so this could be someone who betrayed you. I'm also thinking of the song Brutus by the Buttress. They are going to now be forced to undergo the same lessons you underwent. The power imbalance that might've previously existed in past connections you had is being destroyed. I believe that honestly what's in store is truly just the restore of balance. It's possible one of these enemies was very obsessed with you? Or desired to take your place in some sort of way. You were seen as a threat by whoever this individual is. I'm thinking of impostor syndrome, like they want to BE you. I see that this person may have been causing you nightmares, or showing up in your dreams. Or there could be some kind of subconscious, or deeply hidden wound this person caused you or that you caused them. Probably both if I'm being honest. I see that they also could've been doing black magic of some kind on you. You've remained determined throughout all of the trials and tribulations you've experienced and you are being rewarded. Your enemies could begin to experience some kind of financial lack. Perhaps due to a heartbreak or loss of some kind, I also heard something about an investment. They may be investing their time, love, energy, and most likely resources into something that will not last. For some of you it could be into a relationship that is not going to last, they are investing insane amounts of time and energy into a relationship on the verge of failure. I heard something about arguments, violence is even possible. There is a lot of regression that is about to happen in the lives of your enemies or enemy. I heard "time" so in time, things will begin to unfold.

PILE TWO

It's possible there was a recent death in the family of your enemy. Either a father or grandfather, I also see there's a lot of conflict unfolding in their life as a result of aggressive tendencies. Some of them could be lashing out in unpredictable manners- some of them could even be leaning on drugs or alcohol to satiate their emptiness. I see there could also be a spiritual attachment on some of these people. There is justice coming into play as a result of their emotionally immature, and tyrannical nature. If there wasn't a death in the family, it's perhaps that their ego has gotten so massive that they cannot even see with gratitude. It's like nothing is enough, I feel like a thirst. It could be that they feel unfulfilled and are smitten with the desire to have, or possess at any cost. This person is being consumed by their own shadow. That is for damn sure. They could be lashing out at others by way of mouth, I see here that there will be a moment of clarity to come for your enemy. It's possible that collaborations they're working in or on could become obsolete, I see here a loss of some kind. It's interesting because in the 3 of pentacles, and the 5 of cups the same individual is present. In the 3 of pentacles though there are 2 others present, and then in the 5 of cups it's just the one character remaining. So this person could end up lashing out or going through some kind of upheaval that ends up being incredibly isolating. This is coming from a lack of gratitude, this person is blind to the blessings that are present in their life. I also see here that this comes from some sort of long standing pain or trauma they experienced. They are simply looking to defend themselves. It could be that this person is in fact blinded by the grief of this death they're experiencing. Whether it be ego death, or a death in the family. They could also be self sabotaging some kind of romantic opportunity being offered to them. If you've made predictions regarding this situation it looks like those predictions are unfolding in haste. I also see they are being blinded to something? Perhaps this has to do with their divination. Maybe their divination is easily swayed or influenced by the pressure that comes from their subconscious minds. I definitely see that some kind of money magic this person could be trying to do is resulting in extreme blockages. They could end up overburdened and overworked, or if that isn't the case their manipulative tendencies are going to result in them having to pick up a HUGE mess. Whether that be literally or metaphorically. This person may be an air sign or have air placements, as well as water placements. It's possible they're an air moon. Regardless, this person is very driven by immaturity and emotional instability and these themes have come to the forefront of their lives in order to be healed and dealt with.

PILE THREE

This person is digging themselves into a hole they are not going to be a fan of digging themselves out of. I see they may be isolated in some kind of romantic connection they are struggling to release themselves from. Some of you could also be drawn to pile 1, if so I recommend you check that out. It's weird, this person could be as a result of this connection be losing touch with their family. Being isolated in similar ways that you experienced isolation. Some of you this could be for someone who got with an abusive ex against your warnings? I see that this person is feeling very trapped. On a leash even, or alternatively if it's your ex in question who is the enemy they could be experiencing what they put you through. I see here that they may be feeling like a shallow sense of completion and recognition- I do however see that in the end there is definitely going to be some sort of conflict regarding their public successes. So perhaps this could be a lack of gratitude for what they've received. It could also be that they get too cocky and start creating issues with others. This person may end up feeling like their fun and happiness is literally being killed before their own eyes. A lot of loneliness here, and a destruction of the foundation they've created. This person could be feeling dried out because they cannot feed on your energy. It's like I'm getting this energy that everything they touch is kind of rotting away or rotting under their care. Whatever they love and nurture just sort of wilts. I also heard "willow" so they could like Willow Smith, or maybe Willow trees are relevant. Aren't Willow trees associated with grief? This person could be experiencing a lot of grief and feeling no comfort while going through this grief. They could end up completely alone.

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Mafia AU - Family Business

After my last post about the Blouin family in the Mafia AU for Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack I wound up going on a little extra ramble over on my twitter (calling it X is too weird for me) about how the family business got started. I figured I'd post it here too to make it easier to read and reference later.

It all started with a small business run by the beautiful Alma Blouin and her husband ???

I'd call him [Redacted] but that alias is taken already, so let's stick with what was written in the family tree, shall we?

I was inspired by Makes me Smile, an engaging story written by Sauce that takes place in the SunnyTime Town AU, that it actually started as a family-run traveling carnival that was a cover for more shady business. The family name and business wound up taking up some permanent roots in St. Valens because of Marceau.

There were more opportunities in that crime-riddled city to do backrooms deals, score illicit substances, and other stuff like that. St. Valens was a city rife with crooked cops and people with dubious morals. Sadly, this hasn't changed in present day. If anything, it's only gotten worse. It just can hide behind a shiny new coat of paint and colorful smiles thanks to the Blouin family taking over so many local businesses under their brand name of SunnyTime LLC.

Lucy Connolly is actually responsible for the SunnyTime brand, which is one reason why she kept her last name even after marrying Marceau Blouin. Since she was young, she wanted to make it big in the city, really clean up the town. She succeeded in making it big, but somewhere along the way she got sucked into a world full of sin and vice where her formally black and white view of morality was blurred with many shades of gray. She's still trying to do the right thing, particularly for her family and people she wants to protect, but sometimes she found it was necessary to do morally questionable things to do it. It was a slow corruption of innocence in a sense.

In a way, Jack gets his more twisted view on right and wrong from Lucy, as Marceau is a bit more up front about how messed up the criminal underworld is and their involvement in it. Jack tries to keep things as "friendly" as possible if he can help it, so to speak.

Marceau started off the business in St. Valens with an entertainment club. You had to know the right signs to get access to the good stuff they didn't show on the menu, stuff that could get you thrown in jail if you didn't have the money to pay off the cops.

One night, Lucy stopped by the club that had suddenly got so popular, thinking it was entirely legitimate, and it led to that fateful first encounter between her and Marceau.

Marceau didn't think he'd be staying in St. Valens long, even if he was trying to take advantage of the place for as long as possible, but Lucy was invested in the city, as it was her hometown. She was friendly and outgoing, and she knew a lot of people there. She grew up with them.

Lucy had a good sense for business, which places would be good to snap up for a song. She knew about the issues with many local gangs and how they intimidated local businesses into giving them a cut of their earnings to not get roughed up. She wanted to stop that sort of thing from happening so that innocent people could live their lives without fear.

Which is why the Blouin family in the present does take care of the citizens of St. Valens and stomp out more unsavory practices like human trafficking. Essentially Lucy wanted justice and went vigilante. (Insert Joker reference/joke here.) When it became clear that not everyone she tried to save was good, well…

That led into her corrupted world view and a more "ends justify the means" approach.

Marceau had been taught to watch his back and stand on his own, not having the best home life. In a sense, Lucy taught him to care more about others, that he could have someone he could trust to watch her back, and he taught her how to not let others take advantage of her and those she cares for.

Really, in the present day, the Blouins own a lot of businesses in a variety of sectors, from entertainment to scientific research to home electronics to weapons manufacturing. They're spread out across not just the SunnyTime LLC brand, but plenty of sub-companies with different names that the average person might not realize is owned by them. The SunnyTime brand has become a known trustworthy across the country and are spreading out slowly internationally.

Well… technically the family business is known internationally, just not in any public circles, and not under any brand name. Marceau alone has committed quite a few international crimes, though no one has been able to pin anything on him publicly. Lucy does a good job of keeping their public facing image squeaky clean, and she won't anyone hurt or take away any of her family.

Now that Jack is in charge, it's his turn to take care of the family and the business. Despite his issues with human touch, both them, and his sunshine, are in good hands.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[p1a9u3]

PeepHole Ch.1: Moving Day

Masterpost Ch.1 - Ch.2 Pairing: Dylan Matthews x Fem Oc

Rating: 18+ (mdni)

Genre: Neighbors/Strangers to Lovers, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Slow-burn

Summary: Moving isn't as exciting as Amoya thought, plus she may have pissed off her new neighbor.

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: (This story takes place in 2024) Mental illness (anxiety, ocd), Violent intrusive thoughts, Language, Age gap (5years), Using phone while driving

Status: Unedited

Author note: This is the first fic that I've ever posted, I've written before but I've never finished anything and published it so don't tear me to shreds, please. I chose to make an oc instead of just writing as a reader mainly because I made a whole character in my head before I wrote this so I decided to just make her an oc, if you would like a post going more into this oc of mine feel free to ask (I might post it anyway because I like her), there is no smut in this chapter btw. Please give me feedback and suggestions, constructive criticism, etc. Don't be a bitch about it though...please. I'm thinking of making this a series POSSIBLY, but I procrastinate a lot so that may never happen. To my fellow troublemakers hopefully, I do Dylan justice and my writing is at least a little bit accurate to his personality. Still, to be fair I'm a fairly new troublemaker having only found out about this man a few weeks ago, so if something isn't accurate please correct me...politely. He's become my new hyper fixation so when I saw there aren't really any fics about him I decided I should make my own so here we are. Anyway with that being said Enjoy <3. Update: Dylan is barely in this chapter

Monday, February 26, 2024 Time: 8:30AM Moving out was less relieving than you thought it would be. Having been by your mother's side for almost all your life, you'd gotten comfortable always having someone around.

'You can't live with your parents forever'

People would remind you whenever the topic of anyone's living situation would be brought up. Being twenty-seven and still living with your mother wasn't something you wanted to keep telling people, no one would take you seriously. Though your mother never pushed for you to move out, never mentioned it actually. You think you know why. You never say anything though, so you deal with the slight embarrassment, and ignore the judgmental stares you get whenever someone brings it up.

'They don't know our relationship'

More excuses you make up to justify your obstinance; and to mask the anxiety you're feeling as finish up packing your U-Haul. You had finished packing your stuff from your shared apartment and were now finishing the few boxes you had in storage. Now in the elevator mustering up the strength to carry the last two boxes back down to the truck. Grabbing the lock you had left on the floor, you place it on top of one of the boxes and stack the box onto the second one, bending down and lifting with a soft grunt. Long strides carrying you to the elevator, you push the down button with your foot. The doors open soon after, you step inside setting the boxes down as you push the bottom floor and wait. Pushing off the wall as the doors open you pick up the boxes once again, you quickly load them up into the U-Haul before grabbing the padlock from on top of the box, and then heading to the front desk of the storage building.

"Here, the unit is clean and empty." You smile at the woman as she takes the lock and keys with a thank you.

Turning on your heels you walk back to your U-Haul giving everything a once-over before locking it all up, now turning your attention to the hitch attached to the back of the Truck where your precious car is hitched too. It was a black and cherry red 1993 Nissan 240SX with a red interior, you had seen it while driving with your mom past a repair shop when you were 25, back then it had no windshield or wheels. You won't lie and say you fixed it yourself but you did invest all the money you had at that time to fix it up and color it how you wanted; you still would say it was worth it. Checking the hitch and chains attached to the bottom of the car making sure everything was set and ready.

"Everything looks good?" Your mother said making you jump

"Yah! A warning ma, please! And yes everything looks good, I packed up the last two boxes and returned the keys and lock to the front desk while you were in the bathroom." You let out a breath calming your heart from the scare you just had, your mom snickering next to you. You turn to her rolling your eyes playfully as you walk to the front of the truck, your mom following behind you.

"Good, let's get on the road." Your mom hops into the passenger seat and rolls down the window. "I wanna get home by Wednesday."

You climb into the driver's seat, buckling your seatbelt then checking your mirrors. You two had agreed on driving to your new apartment, taking turns every 5 hours, once you got there she'd help you unload and unpack on Tuesday, and your mom would then fly back to New Orleans on Wednesday. The more you think about it the more you feel yourself panic a bit.

"Okay."

Time: 9:00AM Starting the car, you let out a breath putting the car in drive and pulling out of the parking lot of the storage building. You could tell your mom was trying to keep herself calm by the way she would rub her right thigh with her right hand, it was a nervous tick she passed down to you. Unfortunately, you were just as nervous, so you decided to turn on the playlist you and your mom made while eating the night before, mixes of all kinds of genres put into one playlist to keep you both entertained during the drive. Pulling off the main road and merging onto the freeway, you glance over to your mom to see her smiling wide looking back at you. She has that look in her eyes, you know it well.

"Its happening ma." You smile back at your mom then look back to the road

Your mother places her hand on your thigh, letting out a long sigh and a soft squeeze before returning it back to her own lap. You see her wipe a single tear from your peripheral; you don't acknowledge it. She'll start bawling the second you tell her not to cry. So you pretend not to see it and start singing along to Erykah Badu, your mom turns the music up a bit and starts singing along too. You smile to yourself as you glance out your side window, watching as familiar buildings pass by in a blur, You think you'll miss this place. No, you know you will, but a part of you is kinda excited, relieved almost. You've silently always longed to live on your own, but another part of you calls you selfish for even wanting that until now

'How could want to leave your mother'

You know it's normal to want to move out of your parent's home, every grown adult has to move out at some point, and twenty-seven is a perfectly normal age to do so, You wanted to move when you were twenty-four. Hell, some people live with their parents till they are far in their thirties.

'But you know your mother may need you right'

All your brothers have moved out, they are doing good on their own, and you're the only one left. It was only a matter of time; you tell yourself. Your mom will be fine, she's dating a new man who treats her great and takes care of her. Hell he tried to hire a moving crew to move all your stuff, but you wanted to do it yourself and your mom wasn't going to let you drive almost halfway across the country by yourself.

'you could've found a place closer to her you know'

Phoenix, Arizona. You chose Phenix simply because it was affordable for you and close to LA, your mom agreed it was a good choice. There is work in LA, California is just so expensive, so you chose the next best thing. The apartment is nice from what you saw as well, one bedroom, two baths with a study. It was perfect for you.

Time: 11:23AM The drive was going well so far, your mother eating a bag of chips she packed along with all the other snacks and drinks. You were eating a Honeybun, one of your favorite snacks, and drinking water. Your mom had turned off the music and started watching YouTube with mostly commentary so you could listen and drive, Right now a video was playing talking about some ice cream drama in North Dakota. Author note: if you watched this video featuring Dylan is in Trouble, I know it's technically in the future but I don't care, this is all fake anyway. You found it interesting and kinda funny, laughing every now and then when your mom would pause to add her opinion. About two-thirds of the way into the video you glance down at the screen, there are two guys now instead of one, and one of them is wearing glasses, you glance back down looking at the title of the video 'Insane Local Ice Cream Shop Drama (w/ Dylan Is In Trouble)' You made a mental note of the second guy's name for later, his voice was nice you told yourself, he was also fine as fuck. You leaned your seat back as far as it would go, which wasn't very far, getting comfortable. You still have two more hours left to drive.

Time: 12:35PM Your mom had fallen asleep about ten minutes ago, YouTube was still playing, The next video had been the same guy as before. You looked down for a second, looking at the title of the video that had been playing for about fifteen minutes. 'Guessing Finales After ONE Episode (ft. Dylan Is In Trouble)' You smile to yourself a bit recognizing the name at the end of the title, you let the video play just listening to the guy talk for ten more minutes. You caught yourself smiling again when you recognized the second guy's voice as he joined in for the rest of the video, you took a sip of your water glancing down at the video, seeing him pop on screen whenever he had something to say

"he's funny." You mutter to yourself quietly, thinking out loud.

The video had ended and your lips fell back into their original position, as an ad played before the next queued-up video, you looked down at your GPS. 1322 miles to go; you let out a sigh.

'200 miles closer to leaving you mom'

She was helping you unpack, so you technically wouldn't be leaving her really. If anything she was leaving you since she had to fly back home. You prop your left elbow on the open window, your left hand holding the steering wheel, and your right hand comes down to your thigh, rubbing small circles back and forth.

'What happens if Devon goes back home'

Your oldest brother Devon was working at a mental facility. He was on his medication and was doing good, he managed to get a job there and has been making decent money. He was doing fine, He is doing fine.

'What if he stops taking his medication again.'

They will keep tabs on him, they know his habits, his symptoms, He is fine.

'Has another episode and gets out'

That wouldn't happen. He's fine

'He'll be there when mom gets back'

No.

"Hes gonna ki-'

-beep! beep! beep!-

Time: 2:00PM Your mom's alarm goes off, making you jump a bit. Reaching over to turn it off, your mom moans a bit as she wakes up from her short nap, stretching her arms a bit as she yawns.

"Jeste li spremni za promjenu." she yawns out, going for a sip of her water ( translation: Are you ready to switch)

Your mother's Croatian tends to slip when she's just woken up, or delirious. You nod your head looking at the next exit sign to find a gas station, spotting a Love's off the side of the freeway. Slipping off the freeway you pull up to the gas station before parking next to a pump.

"Bathroom?" You look over at your mom, she nods, unbuckling her seatbelt and hopping out of the truck, you do the same.

You both enter opposing stalls to relieve yourselves of all the water you had been drinking, washing your hands after. Your mother heads back to the truck to pump the gas as you browse the aisles for any extra snacks, spotting a honeybun you instinctively grab one, then two, and head to the cashier. You place your honeybuns on the counter and then look up at the cashier who seems to be invested in something on her phone, she wasn't wearing headphones phone volume at maybe thirty percent, you could hear what she was watching. You recognize the voice, the cashier finally looks up from her phone quickly apologizing for not paying attention.

"Oh I'm so sorry, will this be all" She quickly rings up the two honeybuns.

"No you're fine, that'll be it actually." You dismissively wave your hand pulling out your wallet to pay.

Looking down you notice her phone, she had put it on the counter, and the video on it had been paused but on the screen was that guy again, though it seemed to be a video of his own this time. You pull out some cash and hand it to the young woman behind the counter, she takes the cash, counts it, and then goes to get your change.

"No, it's fine, keep the change" Flashing a smile then grabbing your honeybuns you take another glance at the women's screen before it turns off from being left alone for too long.

Opening the passenger seat door, you climb into the seat buckling yourself in. Pulling out of the gas station your mom pulls off back onto the freeway continuing your journey. You pull out the bag you had brought for little activities, pulling out your book of choice. You had splurged at a Barnes and Noble a few weeks before you began packing, picking up a bunch of books you had either heard good things about or had been wanting to read. Red Rising was one of the books, it was also the one you were currently holding.

"I'm gonna put my headphones on, so you can listen to whatever you want." You tell your mom as you put your headphones on and pull out your phone.

You had gotten the book on Audible a while back and wanted to read and listen at the same time. Pressing play you turn to the first chapter and begin reading as the narrator spoke. Your mom seemed to have put music on, you could feel the bass as she turned up the volume and began singing along.

Time: 10:56PM Hours had passed, it was your turn now with two hours left till your next switch. Your mother was knocked out, lightly snoring as you drove in silence, you had stopped reading once you had switched. You also decide to put off reading it until you were moved in, the book had grabbed your attention, so much so, that you wanted to be able to focus on it solely; so you chose to wait. You had a couple hundred miles left to go and things were sinking in more as you drove silently. Your mind doing its usual thing, making you worry about things that most likely won't happen, even if it did, you know it wouldn't be your fault. You couldn't help but think maybe it would be though, it was a dumb thought but you couldn't help it

'What was that guys name again'

Your brain blanked for a second, random but ok, your brain goes back to the YouTube video your mom had been watching, that cashier was watching him as well. Dylan is in Trouble, you wonder what kind of videos he makes, most likely commentary. You pull your phone out glancing down and go to YouTube, you use the voice to text and hold your phone up to your mouth.

"Dylan is in trouble"

You press search, going back and forth between looking at your phone and watching the road. You look down to find his channel, press his icon, and scroll through some of his videos. Movie commentary is what you mostly see, occasionally you'd spot something different, you decided you'd dive into his channel later when you weren't driving.

Time: 5:00AM You were in the driver's seat, you had let your mom sleep more after she had been driving for about three hours. She was up now though, you could tell things were starting to catch up to her again. She was fidgeting a lot more now, well so were you, she looked very tense. She helped you find this apartment, but you assume she wants to see the neighborhood for herself, in person, wants to see how good the security is and what the neighbors are like. It's only natural, she's a mother and her only daughter is moving twenty hours away from her. You look down at your phone, your GPS says you are pulling up now, you look around the area, it was very nice, wasn't too far from the city. You spot the complex to the left, it was pretty big with multiple sections with apartments, you were building three, kind of in the middle of everything. You pull into the complex parking in front of the leasing office to speak to your landlord and to get your keys, your mom comes with you of course, sizing everything up.

"Hi welcome to Arts District Apartments, it's Amaya correct, my name is George?" An old-looking man stands from his desk, his hand reaching out to shake yours

"Thank you, George, it's Amoya actually" You reach out and shake his hand with a smile.

You two talk a bit about the complex and its rules etc. Your mom chimed in every now and then to ask her questions. Before you know it you're unloading the truck into your new apartment, you're realizing now that you didn't have as much stuff as you thought. The last thing you had left was your bed, you and your mom had been doing well with just the two of you, but after you two had gotten the mattress inside your mother's back began to bother her. Now you had your bed frame, you told your mom to relax for now and that you could get the frame up yourself. Partial lie, you previously took apart the bed frame and so there were mainly long pieces that weren't too heavy except the backboard, that thing was heavy as fuck, luckily you had a dolly at the storage building to help you carry it out, but now you have to carry it to the elevator and down the hall. You managed to get it down from the truck, and from there you lifted it and sped walked to the elevator, almost dropping the bed frame on your foot as you set it down to push the button. The doors had closed on you twice as you tried to pick the frame back up and lift it into the elevator, but alas you made it, now on the third floor and outside the elevator. You took pride in your body, you considered yourself strong, regularly went to the gym, and you would say your legs were the strongest part of your body, with that being said, you tried to make as little noise as possible since it was still early in the morning, you lost your footing. You were almost there, your door being right in front of you; but you fell. Landing on the door behind you hitting your head with a very loud thud.

"Bumbo." You whisper yelled at yourself in Jamaican as you set the frame down and leaned off of the door. (translation: Fuck)

Holding the frame upright you walk around it reaching for your door, the frame slipping from your fingers and falling against your neighbor's door again. You prayed that your new neighbor was either a very deep sleeper or wasn't home right now, though maybe you didn't pray hard enough. You lift the bed frame from your neighbor's door, getting your phone to get your mom to hold the door open for you so you can slide it the rest of the way inside. Stopping, you hear the door behind you click open. Your bed frame blocked your view of whoever had stepped out, but you could hear him.

Ch.1 - Ch.2

Updated Author note: Hopefully this was an enjoyable first chapter or part. The apartment is just a random apartment complex I saw on Zillow, everything in this is all fictional besides the YouTube videos and things that are obviously real. Anyway, I have decided to make this a series, I've gone into too much detail on little things like Amoya's intrusive thoughts and all that, and it'd be a waste to shorten and delete half of what I put and speed through everything, Amoya's intrusive thoughts and anxiety is a trait I added from myself, so you'll notice a lot of internal thinking and scenarios she makes up in her head. Hopefully, the idea is as cool as what I thought of in my head. If this does well, I will upload the other chapters one after the other, If it does bad I'll just delete everything, but please be patient I procrastinate a lot and I want the writing to be good. Please be honest and let me know how you all feel about this, if you like the writing, the main character, the pacing, the storyline, length, anything, and everything, I need criticism but don't be a bitch about it.

[jesncin]

You’ve talked about Eradicator and (especially) Conner, but I don’t think you’ve said anything about Steel yet? He and his daughter are some of my personal favorites in the superfam, so I was curious. Especially since he and Conner were close enough for the latter to try to rescue him from Apokolips.

I love the Steels! I want to do more research on them before doing a take, so that's why I haven't gotten around to it yet.

Something thematically I really like about Superboy + Steel's dynamic is how they were initially contrasted against each other in Reign of Supermen.

Reign of Supermen is all about how after Superman dies, a bunch of Superguys show up to take his title. Each of them have something missing that don't make them a complete replacement. Conner is presented to have Superman's "biology" but none of his character. Steel has no superhuman powers, but he has Superman's spirit, and that's what makes him the most worthy to carry the mantle (something I wish the animated movie adaptation incorporated more hrrrggghhh, justice for John Henry Irons!!).

If I was to do a take on their dynamic, this would all change! My take on Conner rides on the fact that while he is technically Clark's son, he doesn't look like Clark. So everything he does gets profiled and adultif-ied through racism. Conner would be enamored to see how an average person who looks like him chooses to take on that mantle. Not to mention, unlike Lex, John Henry Irons is a self-made man-of-tomorrow who uses his powers for good! Conner being, not just thematically of mixed heritage, but visibly mixed race as well opens him up to a much deeper connection with the rest of Superfam. So it's a change I'm really invested in!

[bunny-hoodlum]

not tryna start fights lol. i really enjoy the descriptions of your story’s (they’re really different than most nh stories) but i hate reading unfinished works 😭 ive read wayyyy too many nh stories that end up with cliffhangers so i just wanted to know if there’s any reason why they all seem unfinished before i start getting invested

It's just an odd question to ask, is all, and you could've started your ask with this. Think about how your question came off. I had zero context behind your question and it just sounded bad. Like, most fics online are unfinished. Or they don't get updated for a long ass time. Or the writers just update when they feel like it, as opposed to most who update whenever they can.

Some people have family obligations, physical and or mental health issues.

Me? I probably have ADHD-Primarily Inattentive, I can't afford a diagnosis just yet, but I've always struggled with motivation, organizing myself, energy issues, headspace/focus issues.

Does having multiple ongoing fics seem counterintuitive? Yes, absolutely. But also, no, not at all. Because I'm having fun having multiple things to jump between.

I didn't plan to start multiple things in such a short amount of time. I participated in NHMonth2023 to the best of my ability and found out I understood how to write and thus rly enjoyed short stories, after kind of avoiding and not trying for the entirety of my fandom activity. Being in the discord has inspired most of these new ideas and instead of letting then stay ideas that I might forget about, I decided to make them a reality.

It's really all circumstantial how my Ao3 got to the way that it is. None of this planned or on purpose or all that easy to explain. Look at how long this reply has gotten already.

If you're intrigued but can't get invested, there's nothing I can do about that. If you don't like waiting for something to finish, then you don't. You already know what you like, how you want to handle your reading experience, etc.

Writing takes time. Like a lot of fucking time. When I get in a groove, it takes me all day or all week if I'm lucky. I'm more motivated to finish a chapter in single sitting than I am getting up to eat on those kinds of days, and I wish they'd happen more but I can't be neglectful like that. There's chores, there's spending time with certain people, there's my job, etc.

I actually do gotta slow my roll because my husband is feeling kinda down lately, so I'm going to try and be more available for him and work on my fics at a more casual pace.

Maybe by the end of the year you'll be able to finally read a handful of my new short stories, cuz lord knows when I'll get around to completing my slowburns and doing them justice. 😅

But yeah, just don't read them if you only read completed works? What am I supposed to do about that? 😂 Check in again in a year, see if there's any completed works. That's rly all you can do.

[f4rfields]

it is SO silly to claim near and mello are "L clones" if you actually read the second half of the manga instead of stopping because blorbo died. like you are missing out on two very interesting characters who are dynamic, despite symbolically representing parts of L.

mello's arc begins with them wanting to solve the kira case to avenge L, but more importantly to prove themself, and ends with them is about accepting that they cannot do this alone and that actually solving it is more important than the validation. L is driven by ego and a desire to have an intellectual challenge. their anger towards nearly everyone (particularly near) is intense and they are often very demanding, but they are most certainly capable of understanding, patience, and care, as seen with matt - one of the few friends mello actually has (and the anime cuts out the short snippets that do show this dynamic more). while both L and mello are ruthless and pretty unethical, mello is more physically violent and impulsive. if L was playing 5D chess, mello is throwing the board off the table.

near is much more L-like, but is far more direct in his suspicions. while L was purposefully drawing out the mental dance that he and light were doing for their own amusement, near is turning the music off. he's driven by duty and a sense of justice, not ego - he's willing to openly acknowledge the contributions of others. although he seems nonchalant, he is more honestly expressive in his emotions and thoughts, and he actually really cares about the people in his team - and mello, despite mello hating him kind of. he doesn't see kira as someone whose intellect makes them dangerous, he sees the death note as what makes kira a global threat. he's willing to play dirty like light, but he's much more benevolent in it.

i cannot really think of what the story would actually be like if L did not die, and i doubt it would be particularly satisfying. L's ego and constant need to be entertained while people are dying is part of his own downfall. he flies too close to the sun. it only makes sense that he came crashing down. if you actually get invested in near and mello and approach them as their own characters, it just makes L's demise seem inevitable.

also i intentionally say "read the manga" because half of the story gets condensed into the last 3rd of the anime and removes much of the characterization of mello and near, and how they come to understand and solve the kira case. like i get why anime-only folks don't care for them much - they didn't even get a chance to get attached to them.

also death note still holds up aside from the abysmal writing of the female characters (which i am still mad about and still think that naomi should have gotten to survive into the actual investigation). it was actually much more interesting to read as an adult than it was as a teenager, so if you haven't read it since you were like 15 or something, i recommend giving it a shot again. thank u for reading my essay.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

My last post to get people to talk about their creative projects has gotten something of a theme. People who are trying to write a book, but instead of actually writing it, are writing a bunch of…other stuff.

I may be biased because I do very little of that extraneous writing­, but I think there’s two main places that situation comes from:

Being scared of writing the book/story

Not actually wanting to write a story

And both of those things themselves could probably be a whole post or series of posts, but let me break them down one at a time to see if it helps anyone figure out what’s going on with them.

Being scared of writing the book/story:

Basically, the writing you’re doing instead of the story is procrastination and avoiding actually working on the story. You don’t want to be writing it, but you’re afraid if you actually write the story, you’ll mess it up, so you’re writing other things and trying to prepare yourself utterly and completely so you know exactly what you’re going to do…except none of that “prep work” worldbuilding and character exploration is actually making you any more confident.

So here’s the thing: You can rewrite the same story from scratch several times if you don’t like what the first try looks like. You can edit the story over and over if you don’t like what it looks like.

Some prep work helps a lot of writers. But at the end of the day, it’s really not helping you write the story. The story is the story and it’s not any of your asides, and the longer you spent avoiding the story and building up All These Cool ideas, the scarier actually writing it is going to get. Because now you have a thousand cool ideas and you’re even more afraid you can’t do them justice than when you had one kinda interesting idea to pursue. You’ve invested all this time—what if the story isn’t good?

It's still going to be better than no story. And you're not going to get better at telling stories without trying to do that specific thing, because of the discussion we're about to get into...

Not actually wanting to write a story:

The people who said this to me in that post were largely writers. But the thing is that doesn’t really get talked about is that…writing isn’t really one hobby.

There’s a lot of kinds of writing, and some of them overlap, but they all require different skills and they require different interests, and they satisfy different parts of a person, if they satisfy any.

Writing a novel is different from writing a short story is different from writing an analytic essay is different from writing standup is different from writing a screenplay is different from writing a Wiki entry is different from writing a business report is different than writing marketing copy is different from writing a technical manual is different from…

I majored in creative writing and minored in professional writing, and I have been writing for 25 years. I have tried a lot of those kinds of writing. I enjoy most of them, because I enjoy wordsmithing. I enjoy putting various words together to see what they look like. Not everyone does, but they might still write because…

They like storytelling. Not everyone who likes storytelling is a writer—sometimes they draw, or make a video game, or pain, or act, or direct, or sing. Lots of ways to tell stories exist! And if you like writing but don’t like storytelling, maybe you’d be happier writing analysis essays or business reports, or marketing copy (which can be storytelling, but is very different from narrative).

And maybe, it leads you to writing long character profiles and worldbuilding documents.

Writing a novel and writing detailed worldbuilding documents are honestly basically different hobbies. You might like both! Or you might not, and just feel like “I like writing,” means you have to write a novel or a short story.

You…don’t. Writing doesn’t mean you have to write any specific thing. You should find why you’re drawn to a specific activity, to figure out what is satisfying you about it.

It is perfectly okay if you enjoy writing about made up worlds without wanting to write a novel about it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

So basically:

If you want to write a novel, just do it already! If you don’t, you don’t have to keep telling yourself you will because you feel obligated to do it. Just enjoy whatever part of the process you enjoy.

[spearxwind]

Hi hello I wanna talk a bit about CD currently but Im not sure if its gonna be too long/negative so I'm gonna put my thoughts under a lid <3

So like. To start off it's really not a secret that I have a lot of trouble when it comes to crafting stories. This has been the case for many years, and will continue to be the case probably forever.

Challenger Deep felt like an exception to this at first, but since starting development on it my life took some turns that made it clear that CD suffers from the same and from different problems

To start with... I started using it as a vehicle for my grief at the start. Talas (especially) and Graves were both used as vehicles for my grief while I was going through stuff the past couple of years, and that inevitably bled through into The Everything.

It's not a bad thing to do this at all mind you (It helped me immensely) but it gave CD a strange foundation for me to build on that now I feel like I am at a major disconnect with, so I would like to build some more foundation around it, so to speak.

I would like to recraft the story (not rewrite it entirely because theres things i rly love, but theres others that I'd like to improve), and a lot of the lore (I feel like I closed my options a bit too much with some of it so I want to make it more expansive too. Part of why I wrote it the way it was was so I could invite friends to make stuff for CD but that did not go over well at all so I think I am going to not do that again). I just havent had the time to work on it properly, and since it's in this state where I feel like I need to "fix" it, I don't feel as passionate about it as last year so at the moment I'm letting it ride and waiting for when I'm excited to work on it again

I would like to add more characters as well and actually do justice writing-wise to the characters that are already in there too.

Also I won't lie, a big part of my investment in CD until recently was my oc ship, with Talas and Hades, and ever since I got into my current relationship I just havent thought much about them at all because I started pretty much actually living all of the shitposts and tropes I'd written and it started making me feel a bit strange to write/draw about that, so I need to fix that as well. See why I feel weird about it and what I can do to stop it and get back to those two

Additionally I've had a redesign of talas and hades' markings in my WIPs for months now. Hades is done, but on Talas' side Im not sure how to add in his bioluminescence pattern because something isnt working for me. I wanted him to be more visibly purble though with said markings. Everything else I really like, its just the glowy pattern (though watch me change the markings anyways bc im an indecesive beast)

Here's a snippet of them:

I wanted them both to have more natural fishy looking markings pretty much

So yeah, that's currently the state of things. I miss it a lot and i rly wanna work on it again proper, maybe now that I've acknowlegded it and made a post about it I will get a second wind like I've gotten before after getting The Gunk out of my chest.

If you read all that thank you I hope you have a swag day <3

[nobodysdaydreams]

Y'ALL I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. WTF? WTF?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Or my reaction to Episodes 53-54 of Wolf359).

Welcome back dear readers! Thank you for enjoying my reaction to the Mission Mishap and mini episodes, which were shorter and a lot easier to fit into my busy schedule. I try to make sure I have time to type out good live quality reactions for you guys, so thanks for your patience on this.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom @lovelyladylavie

Episode 53: Dirty Work

This episode has gotten a lot of hype from the mutuals. I hope that means Pryce and Cutter are actually gonna bother to show up this time. The two of them did their whole ominous “we’re going to space” thing at the very beginning of this season, well hurry up and go to space then since you care so much! Instead they gave us enough time for Doug to have his radio show arc, which (while it was necessary, and I enjoyed it), just goes to show how much time Pryce and Cutter actually put into this. Which should be evident given that it has taken them at least this long to get to space despite it being their “life’s work” (and for some “higher purpose” they’ll probably monologue about too no doubt 🙄. Hopefully they keep their speech shorter or at least more interesting than Whiskey Boy). Laziest villains of all time sending other people to space the dirty work. Which happens to be the episode title, look at that.

And if I had to guess who is going to be doing Pryce and Cutter’s dirty work, my money’s on Whiskey Boy. Well, actually, my money’s on free-will deprived Hera, but I hope I’m wrong.

Well this is rare. No preview ads to skip through. Huh.

Oh, Minkowski 🥺. We know you didn't want to kill anyone. Don't worry, I will give you justice in fanfic if the show doesn't give it to you here.

HILBERT. Shut up. Even in death, you still don't get it do you? Minkowski has a right to be upset. Even if anyone on this ship makes it back to earth, they are still gonna be extremely traumatized.

Doug, what are you up to now?

And no, Lovelace. Minkowski is not okay. None of you are okay.

"23rd time is the charm!" That's the spirit, Doug! 🥰

Oh right, the reset that Hera has been putting off.

Lol, Hera's "Good Boy". There you go Doug. You see, he can be taught.

"Get him to do what he's told!" Well that would likely be Hera's department.

Not the bottles of beer song. I swear, why are Kepler and Jacobi even still here? What are they contributing? 🍻 "Don't do anything stupid?" a bit late for that.

Um...what is this? Who was that? Wait is that Maxwell's ghost talking to Jacobi?

Do not be a bad guy again Duck Boy. 🦆 That is how your friend got killed, remember? Do you want to be a dead duck?

Well at least we got some music. Nice work, Doug! 🎶

VERIFICATION CODE WHISKEY. a;lsjkfklsdjfk I KNOW Kepler came up with that one. I don't care that it's a legit code, I know it is, but he probably puts Whiskey in every single secret code of his.

Doug. GET BACK INSIDE.

Not demolitions. Jacobi. You fool. You impulsive explosive dumb-dumb. Do not blow up the ship you're on.

"Now I may not be as smart as my late colleague" understatement of the century Jacobi.

Oh great. He's willing to kill them all. Fantastic. Oh and Kepler's coming too. OH. Because Minkowski killed Maxwell and Kepler let her die and had no remorse. Jacobi wants revenge. Oh. Oh no...

"How's your day going?" been better.

Kepler's speech...so was he working with Jacobi this whole time? Convincing plan if he was, but I gotta say Kepler, I don't know if that's gonna work as smoothly for you this time around. Jacobi seemed pretty upset, and there would be no reason for him to reveal that now when he has the upper hand.

SHOOT HIM!

AS:Jlkfjsdlkfjlkds I KNEW IT!!!!!!!

"Pretty please with sugar on top" oh we're going there.

And after hearing about how Kepler bought him explosives...this whole betrayal thing really did go to the next level with them.

"Is this an elaborate prank to teach me a very important lesson?" askjdfkld;jf I love you Doug. 😂 And that would be hilarious.

Poor Doug...that's it Doug! Go into the star! That's what they want! Why do they want this? Who knows. It is weird though. They presumably know that humans die if they do that, and if they wanted them dead there's a million more efficient ways to kill them.

"Blow Kepler's brain's out" "Jacobi...where are you going with this?" Wow, Whiskey Boy really IS slow, isn't he? Maybe it wouldn't have killed him to shed a few fake tears at Maxwell's funeral.

"He was the one who put her in the line of fire, and you should be the one who has to do it."

That does make sense. Because Kepler won't care about shooting Minkowski or anyone else, and while Minkowski certainly wouldn't enjoy dying, she's still tortured with guilt over the fact that she killed Maxwell. But force Minkowski to relive that trauma, intentionally and painfully, and taking everything from Kepler...oh man Duck Boy really did think this through.

"You complete and utter idiot..." YES PUNCH HIM JACOBI! Unconventional grieving process is an understatement.

"I don't want to kill anyone" "Else" ouch.

And yeah... this is Jacobi's "2 birds one bullet solution"

Jacobi is unhinged.

"This is it. Either she shoots you or I kill everyone" yeah it really is over.

Jacobi. You don't need to do this. You really don't.

PHONE CALL?

No. Do not call Pryce and Cutter. Do not call them Jacobi, I don't care if you want to tell them off do not give them information do not call them. Do not call anyone. Maxwell is dead, who does he even have to talk to? Is he gonna call his family? Maxwell's family?

Kepler begging Minkowski for a backup plan...Jacobi really DID beat him...he's nothing now. Though to be fair, he didn't have much to begin with.

"There's no bomb?" Then...what is...oh no. Jacobi what is this game?

"I'm not crazy, that stuff's dangerous!" 😂 Why is Jacobi evil Doug sometimes? I swear if it wasn't for the circumstances they would be friends.

"You've been through plenty, just sit tight. It will all be over soon." I don't know if that's meant to reassure Lovelace or sound ominous Jacobi, but if it was the former, you really gotta work on not sounding like the bad guy.

"Blue, being sucked in, process, killed the original captain Lovelace...the door." There you go Doug! I knew he could figure it out! His science fiction knowledge really comes in handy.

That is a big risk, especially since you don't know what these aliens want, or their history with slimy business man and his evil science girlfriend!

Yep. Leap of faith. Scary stuff, especially when your trust has been broken before.

"Why couldn't it be snakes" Doug, be careful what you wish for.

"How could he? After everything we've been through?" Kepler, be serious. You stalked him, brought him expensive Whiskey and sweet talked a desperate and broken man into joining your murder organization, showed him creepy levels of favoritism at various points in time (especially coming from you of all people), and had zero remorse when you let his best friend get killed. That's what you've been through.

"Will he blow us up" "Yeah." "Can you override his override?" "No. He and Maxwell handled that. I trusted them." Yes, Kepler. And they trusted you. Now one of them is dead. Let's think about this for a moment. I'm sure if we all put our heads together, we can get to the bottom of this mystery of why Jacobi has betrayed you for apparently no reason.

Is Kepler's back up plan shooting Jacobi? OH MY GOSH IT IS...AND YOU WONDER WHY HE BETRAYED YOU? Kepler, you moron, he's probably listening to this entire conversation. He might be deciding which side he wants to back at this very moment. Now is the time to act really really sad about Maxwell and very very broken up about how you treated Jacobi. Not openly admit that you threw Maxwell's life away to get what you wanted, and that you'd throw Jacobi's life away to save your own skin. Otherwise, Jacobi might just end up shooting YOU when he walks through that door.

"Who is putting your station in danger?" You Kepler. You are doing this.

"For once in your life, shut up" About time someone said that Kepler.

"You're hurt, we all are. But you don't have to kill anyone." Oh Minkowski, I know you're trying but Duck Boy is not in a rational space right now. He's literally trolley probleming you right now.

Okay now Minkowski is going insane. Minkowski stop. JACOBI STOP.

If Kepler was a better man he would shoot himself to end this instead of muttering "this is crazy" at the drama that he is directly responsible for. He really does not know when to keep his mouth shut, does he?

"It's not too late to change your mind." YES MINKOWSKI. TEACH THEM GOOD MORALS. It's never too late. Thank you, finally, someone gets it.

"After everything he's done, after everything you've done?" Yes, and after everything you've done too, Jacobi.

Tell him Minkowski. "I know who you're angry at. It's you. Because you could have backed down but you didn't. We both did. We killed two people. And that's eating you up inside."

I love this so much.

"We kill them. Whatever orders, whatever they did, we did it. That's what the riddle teaches you. However you make the choice, you still make the choice. The blood is still on your hands." "You know what doesn't help? MORE BLOOD"

The cycle ends here! YES MINKOWSKI!

"What will?" Jacobi is listening! Come on Duck Boy. You're waddling your way there. You can do it!

"Twenty bucks says I figure it out first" is this really happening???? Is this really happening???? Please tell me Duck Boy doesn't relapse. I need someone to come to reason.

She never had a bullet. You never had a bomb.

YES, Shut Kepler up! FINALLY the team up we deserve.

I'm glad Lovelace and Minkowski are checking in on each other. And you two both deserve command. You need each other. You all need each other.

Oh Hera. She missed the whole thing. 😂

"What did I miss?" Well, Jacobi is a sort of good guy now (or at least an ally), Kepler still sucks, and everyone forgot about Doug.

Wait. DOUG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO DOUG. NO DOUG NO. AT LEAST GO BACK TO THE SHIP AND TALK IT OUT WITH THEM FIRST.

Well that WAS a wild ride. Maybe one of my favorite episodes so far. I can see why y'all were hyping it up.

Episode 54: The Watchtower

Huh. No more pre-episode previews again. And who is this?

Oh Doug. Oh dear. Doug, you poor thing, I'm glad you had a breakthrough but you probably should have talked this through with everyone first.

Doug. Oh Doug. You're the main character and there are a lot of episodes left. You can't just casually throw yourself into the star midway through the season and die like that.

Something is coming out of the star? Reaching out towards, Doug? Oh boy. Well...

...yikes. What is he saying?

Hera is probably listening to this like "oh Doug...Doug what did you do?"

I love how Doug is still talking to Hera. 💕 "Any objections? Good girl." Well that certainly parallels the last chapter...

Wait. Two more stars? Triple star system? That's pretty cool.

Um. What is that? Aliens? ...hopefully nice aliens?

...or not. Oh dear.

...and um. Where is Doug now? Woke up? Woke up from WHAT?

Did the aliens put Doug back in the ship?

Or...is this now clone Doug? I hope not.

Well at least there's breathable air and gravity in this alien hotel.

Mirror? Yeah that is a creepy touch. Considerate, yet creepy.

Self-repairing mirror? Again, cool but creepy. And Doug is prefect for this. They got the movie from YOU MIND Doug. They built this creepy hotel for you, I'm guessing.

And when the alien shows up, I bet it's gonna be one that looks like you or your loved ones given that they used your voice already.

What was that noise?

Are they just keeping him there?

"Let's get our probe on" Doug...they are. What do you think this is?

Yep...alien Doug. Hi alien Doug. :) 👋👽

"Tell me this isn't where I die and you take my place. My dad always said I'd die if I wasn't more careful..." it's alright Doug, I've been told that myself plenty of times.

What?

Words. Speak more words.

Why do they need Doug to speak words?

Ah yes. Mirroring and learning. That's what they want. But why? Why Doug?

Crippled by a language limited by what? Yet achieving interstellar momentum? Uh...what? Symbiological base set of language?

Doug singing the alphabet 😂

DIE????

What is die? The concept is unknown? Oh...oh dear. Explain that it's a bad thing Doug. Explain that it's a very bad scary thing.

"I hate it when Kepler and Jacobi are right" Don't we all Doug, don't we all?

Stops existing!

Incomplete understanding of the universe.

Yes, yes, to dust you shall return, no matter is created or destroyed it simply changes form, but you seem very unnaturally calm about this.

All matter is reused and repurposed. Ceasing from existence is not possible. ...well that's true...but...YOU are something else now. YOU are gone. Something else is in your place now.

Bob. Bob. "Limited time?" "Unsuitable for his biology?" So you DO know what death is. Because you understand that a place unsuitable for his biology = no Doug.

Wait. In the NETWORK? WE? Bob. Are you a hive mind?

"You learned to speak English?" "Correct. It has also lead to debate over whether YOU can speak English." Dang, they really came for him there.

The process? Why are you evaluating Doug?

"Terms you can understand may take some time" Well for super intelligent beings, you should be smart enough to dumb it down.

Don't like that laugh. "A place very very far away from here." Interesting.

"The farthest point away from civilized space"

I see. And what exactly does civilized space look like?

"Discomfort should pass quickly" time is relative, so I hope you're right, Bob.

He gave Doug knowledge? Well, that might be a good way to one up Cutter.

Okay transfer between stars...I'm guessing no, because they didn't use the sun. Huh. I was correct.

Red = no, Blue = go. Well, Bob, sometimes the basics are all you need.

Another species. Rearrange matter? I see. So they are basically aliens with god-like powers that join together to form a superpower.

And they're recruiting humans...but they seem unimpressed so far. Why would they...oh.

They want the music don't they? They've never...they don't have music, but they like it for some reason.

Well then just send them up a band, seems like an easy solution.

Examination, evaluation...surrogates of specimens?

"Unnecessarily dramatic description" "The wolf doesn't even know it's a wolf!" "We arranged atoms" "You brought her back from the dead" "The distinction is irrelevant" Doug, please explain it to them. They really did do Lovelace dirty.

OH MY GOSH THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE WHAT CUTTER DOES TO PEOPLE. Spy on them, and if he likes them, they get to join his special secret club. And if they don't like you...I think we both know what happens Doug. They DO have a concept of death. They just prefer not to call it that.

"Ideally isolation" Well at least they are semi-ethical.

"If they can't be isolated" "redistribution into different atoms" SEE I KNEW IT. They call it redistribution because they can't accept the moral idea of killing people.

"They are given a new purpose." Bob...Bob this is immoral. This is horrifying.

"Terminology is inadequate" his terminology is spot on Bob.

"Our interest in your species is not moral. It is technological" Yeah Bob, I think you made that VERY clear when you said you were willing to kill everyone on Earth if they didn't play nice.

You don't deserve our music Bob. Not one note. Which is...a sentence I never thought I would type as a reaction to this show, but here we are I guess.

They can turn back time, escape death, and traverse space, but they don't have music Doug! Most of their language isn't auditory. They have it, apparently, but not to the extent where they'd develop it.

Commander Zhung...valued the tech more than anything.

Oh. I'd like to have met Commander Zhung (I hope I'm spelling that right). She sounds...she sounds nice if that was her reaction to hearing music for the first time.

"You haven't figured out sound recording?" No, Doug. "The music?" There you go, Doug.

And um...I think the aliens might be more into the oldies and by oldies I mean the classics Doug. The old school classics. Stick to classical music. Not sure they're ready for rock and roll or rap or pop or country.

In time they'll learn more about each other, slowly. Okay...so they have some time. That's good. 14,000 YEARS? Oh no wonder they don't fear death. They live a ridiculously long time. And yeah Kepler is in for a treat.

And then...he woke up.

But um...where has he woke up? Near the star? But where is the ship?

"Everything is completely under control"

Why...why does Minkowski sound like a robot? I mean, she usually sounds pretty strict before she snaps at Doug for risking his life, but the actress sounds distinctly creepy here, I don't like it.

Creepy music? Hera struggling and begging him to run?

Oh no. Oh no no no no no...Cutter and Pryce came didn't they? Oh no...Oh no...

Oh Cutter, you bastard.

And I don't have time to listen to anymore tonight. Or this weekend, or for a while, gosh DANG IT, BUT THAT WAS SO GOOD.

Well, I hope you guys enjoy this. I have a lot of emotions so I'm gonna post this with no edits and scream about it in a discord chat somewhere. Bye!

[wifelinkmtg]

you guys i’m starting to think magic story might not be that good

I’m really really happy the Phyrexia essay found its intended audience, and i’m glad it resonated so deeply with so many of you! People have asked me if they can quote it or lift concepts from it, and the answer is yes, absolutely! Please attribute it to me if you do, and if you want to send me whatever you’re using it in I would love to read it, though that’s optional. That’s the first thing.

The second thing is, man, was March of the Machine story a wet dud or what? I try to set my expectations low with official WotC stuff, but I did not have them set anywhere near low enough. Consequently, it’s been difficult to muster the energy lately to do things on this blog because, like, jeez, what an unceremonious and largely consequence-free waste of potential all of that was (except for the Ixalan story. The Ixalan story had everything: amazing kaiju fights [sorry Ikoria] and Magic’s best lesbian couple [sorry Gruulfriends, also congrats Gruulfriends.] “But what about the Ravnica story?” you, an incorrect person, say, “I thought the Ravnica story was really good,” you continue, incorrectly. The Ravnica story was very bad! It had really good ideas in it, but it was exceedingly-poorly written. My most charitable interpretation is that there was a miscommunication, and the author expected there would be a thorough editorial pass, and instead they just published it as-is. Sad! I would have really enjoyed a well-written version of that story. </hater>) But also it’s been difficult to muster enthusiasm to do Magic stuff lately because of WotC’s extracurriculars (increasingly-predatory attempts to more thoroughly monetize D&D, the fucking thing with the fucking Pinkertons.) But today I took an Adderall because it’s one of the rare days I actually have to focus on a task at work, and I’m using the residual focus to post an overdue update here, hello!

And I’m not done with this blog! Far from it. I’m going to keep posting dumb horny card art reviews here, for sure, but here’s some other stuff you can expect to see in the next few months or so:

1. a follow-up to the Phyrexia essay digging into the question of what a “fascist aesthetic” is, what it’s for in fiction, what it means to enjoy things that contain those elements. I think this is a really interesting topic with a lot of depth and hopefully nuance to it, and I really only skirted it in the original essay, and oh man did people have things to say about that (most of them polite). I addressed a similar topic previously on this blog when I talked about the conquistador vampires in Ixalan, but I don’t think I’m satisfied with that post. I think we can also talk about how we engage with a text, and how we engage with a text like Magic: the Gathering specifically. This is a lot to cover, and it may end up getting trimmed down, or I may succumb entirely to the seduction of scope creep. Who can say!

2. an essay on chivalry in its historical contexts, how it’s been used, what purposes it serves in a society (its role, for instance, in sustaining white supremacy in America), and what it means when we encounter it in “sword lesbian” media (the Locked Tomb books, Revolutionary Girl Utena, etc.) This is going to require a great deal of research and I have no idea what my ultimate conclusion will be, but it’s a topic I’m personally very invested in for a whole host of reasons.

3, maybe. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing MtG fic for a while, because they keep wasting potential and I think I could do a better job. If I do, I’ll post it here, but no promises. Fiction isn’t my main genre, and fanfic isn’t something I’ve gotten seriously into before, despite being on tumblr since 2011. But someone needs to do Avacyn justice, so we’ll see.

4. other writing. I’m a lightly-published poet in real life, and I’m currently working on my first chapbook, so maybe I’ll try putting some of it on tumblr, and since this blog’s readership has surpassed my personal, I guess? I’d put it here? Or, possibly, the short horror stories I infrequently write. Again, we’ll see.

5. Obviously I’m going to keep doing the horny Magic card art reviews. I’m not feeling the new stuff right now, but there’s a lot of older sets I haven’t done yet. The Tarkir block is next - and in fact, I think that will be the next post on this blog. I think it’s time we started appreciating Monastery Swiftspear for more than her brutal efficiency in aggro decks, because frankly she’s a snack and this should be acknowledged.

Anyway, thank you all for reading, hit me up if you wanna play some Commander, and I’ll see y’all in the next one!

[eldritch-elrics]

i finally watched the backrooms webseries by kane pixels!

because "weird architecture"-based horror is one of my absolute favorite vibes, i knew i had to check it out eventually. and i'm glad i did! overall it's astonishingly well-done, especially from a technical/effects perspective. very good visual design, audio design, etc.

under the cut i'll add some more detailed thoughts + criticisms!

things i liked:

pretty much all the found-footage episodes are extremely well done. there's real tension! it's super spooky! my favorites are the ones entitled "pitfalls" and "found footage #2." i really enjoy how the creator is able to innovate on the concept of the backrooms, keeping things visually cohesive while branching out into various styles of architecture. i don't think i can do them justice other than to say that the vibes are perfect.

i also found myself more invested in the main "plot" of the series than i thought i would be. i like the interactions between the scientists/explorers; they're both fun and also realistic-feeling. while the introduction of async (the shady corporation trying to expand into the backrooms) initially made me go "what a cliche!" - i think their goal of ~solving the housing crisis~ by building shitty homes in a dangerous alternate dimension is pretty unique and interesting. i love the parts where it's clear they're rushing the job of making the backrooms "habitable" because they want to impress investors. it's not what i expected from the series, but i'd love to see more of that. always gotta respect a horror series with concrete themes.

also, this is very specific, but i like how the explorers have lots of lingo and safety procedures. that's an important part of making something like this actually feel naturalistic. i am convinced that this is a real, government-funded investigation!

neutral observations:

while i don't think it's fair to call the backrooms webseries cliche/unoriginal, it's clearly building heavily off of preexisting media. kane pixels's youtube channel makes it clear he's a portal fan - that's absolutely an inspiration here. there are also heavy vibes of control (2019 game) and annihilation (2018 movie). since all of these are things i like, i'm happy! and i think the webseries is doing a unique spin on "shady government project sends scientists/explorers/etc into surreal alien phenomenon." but at the same time, i find myself questioning why it always has to be a shady government/corporate project. for sure, it lets you investigate themes like "the limit of science" and "how much control do these organizations have over us and do they really care about our safety" and fun things like that, but i would have been equally happy if it wasn't doing that trope again.

i also have no strong opinions on the idea of introducing monsters into the backrooms. some people have strong opinions on this. i think the monsters add to the tension in fun ways. i like how inhumanly they move! and i like how it's implied (ish? at least this is my theory) that the monsters are mutated forms of people who've gotten lost in the backrooms. and how they have this kind of fungusy vibe...

for the most part, though, the series is scariest when there aren't any monsters around. but the threat of monsters keeps tension high, and i like how they're integrated into the plot so far. it's less about monsters being present and more what you do with them, i think?

criticisms:

my biggest criticism might seem like kind of an unfair one, but it's central to how i view found footage as a medium/genre. fundamentally, to me, found footage is about medium-as-plot-device - the camera is a character, the editing is done by people in-universe, and there should be a strong feeling that the work is presented the way it is for a diegetic reason (even if we don't know what that reason is).

the backrooms webseries consistently fails to convince me that it is entirely shot and edited in-universe. one might say "but it isn't trying to be convincing in this way," but i don't think that's true - the way the episodes are labeled with dates, and the way everything is cut together, makes it seem like it's presenting curated videos from the fictional 90s. it's possible other people are more lenient about "what a found footage series should be," or if they classify backrooms as "found footage" at all! but the way i read it, its particular priorities as a found footage series seriously clash with my own definition of what a found footage series should be concerned with.

i find it particularly jarring when it's playing spooky music over cut-together photos and video. even if async is supposed to be sinister, why would they make videos that so obviously paint them that way? is somebody else supposed to have created some of these videos? if so, i would have liked an indication of who and maybe why, even if it isn't really explained! the final episode (for now) does this pretty well - presents itself as an internal communication to be shown to other async employees. the episode "motion detected" is also really good: it's clear what purpose the video has in-universe. but others, especially towards the beginning of the series, feel jarring because their creation isn't so grounded in the universe.

there are also segments where the filmmaking language shifts from found footage to cinema. see, i think i understand why these segments are here, but i simply do not think it works at all. when you create found footage, you, by nature of the medium, make your viewer extremely aware of the camera as an object. when the series shifts into a cinematographic mode - filming and cutting between actors like in a movie - it feels incredibly fake. (see the episode "report" for an example of this.) who is filming these people? why? why cut stuff together in this way? i get the sense that it's supposed to be an "objective" view of stuff going on outside the backrooms, stuff that no in-universe cameras are supposed to see, but if that's the case, the series's chosen medium has already undermined any sense of objectivity here, since previous episodes have taught us to question the camera. i do hope any continuation to the story addresses this! i would love to know why async is filming themselves like this! and it's always possible that the cinematic language is supposed to make the viewer feel uneasy. but idk. i'm not a fan

overall, the backrooms is truly excellent found footage horror. when it stops being found footage, though, the found-footage-ness of the rest of it can't help but make me stop suspending my disbelief!

[daybreakrising]

I want you to know that I didn't forget that I said I would yell at you in DMs today over your ask last night; I simply wanted to do it here instead. :) Surprise!

Lauri, please hear me when I say that you write the most beautiful Blade that I ever could have wished for. I'd told you on numerous occasions that I'd lost some semblance of hope in being able to write this dynamic, this ship that became one of the few ships that I have infinite love for in my heart, one day. I truly thought that I'd sit in my little corner and love them entirely on my own, but then you came along. And you had all hesitance in heart when it came to your portrayal of him, while all I could think was 'this is it, this is him' more times than I could and can still count. And then, I thought it'd be one hell of a cosmic joke if you didn't see the dynamic as I did, because that had been the dip that I'd gotten into over them. And not only did you prove that concern so very wrong, but you've given me everything that I hoped it would be. You've not only met me on the exact same wavelength for them, but you've outdone and surpassed all expectations and hopes. You've given me Blade's perspective in ways that I couldn't imagine; you answer every moment of curiosity of mine with an ease that is admirable, for not many click with their muse as easily as you do, and not only that, but everything adds up with what has graced our screens. From details like his physical behavior towards her, in actions and reactions, to the role he fills in contrast to her own, to the effects of touch, and craving, and how those are so irrefutably paramount to this dynamic, to the hypotheticals, to everything we've spoken about so far. Everything just clicks.

God, I just— I always look for three things in a portrayal, and those are respect, and passion for a character, and then there's consistency, for the latter shows me just how much someone understands who they write. Whenever you speak to me about Blade, you shine all three of those things in my face as brightly as possible, and every time it happens, I realize just how lucky I got to find what is now our Kafblade. That, that, Lauri, is why you get me yelling in DMs every single time, because you give such a stupidly emotionally invested human being like myself, everything that she hoped she might one day find for these two. So have this, and the usual 'aaaaAAAAAAAA' and know that I am in love with your Blade as much as my Kafka is.

SAE WHAT THE F-

i don't know what to do with this. genuinely. you KNOW i cannot take compliments well why would you DO THIS TO ME-

okay. okay. i can do this. i can do this.

i am still hesitant (though much less so, a lot of which can be attributed to our lengthy discussions & plotting) bc i am just an anxious lil guy, but to know that you (amongst others) not only think i do him justice but actively praise my portrayal whenever you can is just.... ;__; listen. listen i love this angsty immortal man so much-

but please know that so much of this is down to you and your questions that get me thinking about him, get me musing on those behaviours and reactions, and i am just as equally invested in this soul consuming ship we have, trust me. and i love your kafka as much as my blade does.

[barilleon]

On Baldur's Gate, and Incorporating Backstories into Campaigns

One thing that completely blew me away about the quest design in Baldur's Gate 3 is how for the most part the core companions all have backstories that tie directly into the main story. It makes everything seem super tight, and gives every companion a very real reason to want to see the fight through. My frame of comparison here is something like a Bioware companion loyalty mission, which is still grounded very much in the world but isn't typically directly invested in the main quest line. I like these missions! But they're created by many writers over the course of years. I'm one guy running a d&d campaign and we're meeting next Tuesday. So I'm gonna take a look at some of the BG3 stories and how I can learn from them for my home games.

Spoilers for all companion-related quests under the cut!

Lae'zel was literally born to play the role of illithid killer, but the stage is not set how she expected it to be. Karlach is both the prototype for a major enemy type in Act III AND the victim of one of the three secondary antagonists. As a cleric of Shar, Shadowheart's destiny was to complete her training in the very temple that houses the means of killing the Act II final boss, and she must choose whether to embrace that destiny or find a new one. Wyll's allegiance to the city you must now protect is written in infernal and signed in blood, but both the circumstances of the game and the pact he's gotten himself in test his limitations.

Gale and Astarion are also very interesting. While their quests don't exactly line up in an explicit way, they're still connected. One informs the quest and the other is informed by it. The shard in Gale's heart is a byproduct of the same event that created the means by which the cult is holding their power. He understands the context and gravity of the situation better than anyone, and is uniquely tempted by the power those means hold.

For Astarion, the events of the beginning of the game are a major catalyst that shoots him from 200 years of servitude and complacency to an independent life in the sun. While his backstory feels very disconnected from everything else, what connects it is just how important that tadpole is to his character. He is the only one of the core companions who sees the tadpole as a boon, a means by which he can obtain his freedom permanently. And that taste of freedom, too, tempts him during his personal quest.

What I'm saying is that there's a lot of different ways of incorporating backstory on display in the main quest line, whether that's a more overt vengeance moment like Karlach's "let me kill Gortash" request to characters' contextual knowledge being unique, like Gale's and Lae'zel's.

Now, this is a video game, and I'm almost positive that the way this was written these backstory elements were informed by the main plot. But sometimes when you're planning a campaign, you already *have* the plot written (by yourself or a team of designers), and players will come to you with character concepts that don't really mesh well with that plot. This is what a session zero is for, you say, and I agree! But sometimes knowing what questions to ask or what information to communicate to your players is super important.

If I were to run the plot of Baldur's Gate 3 like a regular D&D campaign, these are the key points I would give to my players to keep in mind while they were building their characters:

This game takes place in and around Baldur's Gate. Are you from this area? What are your ties to it?

You'll primarily be fighting mind flayers, githyanki, and undead.

This story will focus on themes of vengeance vs justice, cycles of abuse, and trust.

Whom does your character trust the most right now, before meeting the rest of the party? Are they right to?

Is there someone in your past who has wronged you? What do you want from them? (Alternatively: Have you wronged someone, and what do they want from you?)

You will all begin this campaign abducted by mind flayers and infected with an illithid parasite. This parasite can grant you special abilities, such as seeing into the minds of others with this parasite.

I'm open to discussing what abilities and allowances we can give your characters on account of the parasite (e.g. removing drow sunlight sensitivity).

I think with this information, we could very easily see how players would craft characters like the BG3 companions: "What if I was a vampire who could walk in the sun thanks to the parasite?" "What if the one I wronged was the goddess of magic herself, Mystra." "My character puts her faith in her religious order, but that might be misplaced."

And then, my favorite part as a DM: nudging them more towards the plot, where you can grasp their concepts with a tighter connection to the plot you have: "Shadowheart, Shar or Selune actually would be pretty good gods to pick for this campaign. What if you were a cleric of Shar sent on an important mission so secret your memories were wiped?" "Gale, could you be infected somehow with an artifact of Karsus - Mystra's ultimate nemesis?" "Astarion, lean into that: who are you now, after 200 years of living in the dark?"

The planning phase of a campaign is the most crucial part for me. I really want to make sure everyone feels like their character is a part of the story, and their ideas are going to get used. Sometimes that can be a lot of work, but when you get it right it rules so hard. The more you can tie these things to the main campaign, the less work you have to do writing bespoke Bioware sidequest encounters. And the tighter the campaign will feel overall!