#i have like 50 at home lol
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me when i love my plants :)
#just a few from my life ..#i have like 50 at home lol#and 8 or so at work#also i started selling like . offshoots of my spider plant on fb market place#and someone bought a baby i had for $10 LOL#i need to post pics of my monstera at home too …#anyways if anyone likes plants like this find me#plants#houseplants#outdoor garden#omg yes rn on my balcony i am growing raspberries#blackberries#cucumbers#tomatoes#like 4 diff kinds of tomatoes lmfao#kendra talks#need to post my cucumber plant too cus it’s going hard rn
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#im so upset ok literally no one cares but#my bedroom at home was getting kinda redone this summer#we repainted and added shelves above my desk and styff#so i displayed my album collections on the shelves it was so slay ok it was fire#and#today as i was adjusting things#the shelf with my skz collection just fucking rips out of the wall bro#like BROO?? there are holes in my wall now but idec bro MY ALBUMS???? l#it was so high up too im. they fell from a catastrophic height.#literally every single one of my skz albums falling to the floor which is like at least 50 or smth idek#no that sounds too high but you know. A LOT#i have from mixtape to rockstar not every singlr one but yeah#MY LIMITED ALBUMS?? THESR ARE EXPENSIVE HOLY#im taking a deep breath rn#actually looking from through my tears they didnt look Too beat up (except noeasy fuck that packaging) and except my stay in playground pho#photobook case CRACKEDDDD og my god. its judt the outer plastic case but i. am. so. sad#that is like $50 bro#anyway god#now we have to somehow fix it. we used these shelves before in my sisters room and they've held up great but she pretty much puts stuffed an#animals and thats it lol#did not account for my shitload of albums creating a ton of weight but well.#theyre supposed to hold 170 lbs are my albums rly more than that holy shit#ANYWAY#this litrtally happenrd 15 minutes ago thats why im venting rambling idk#now i have to sleep in my moms room AGAINN until these are fixed#like i love her but i like sleeping alone god pls#(i also primarily write at night and. well its not the easiest to write smut and stuff when ur mother is right next to u.)#GOD UGH. idk its fine but im#silver lining is it wasnt my loona collection bc not only are those rare ash i swear they dent from a strong gust of wind bro#I REACHED TAG LIMIT LMAO I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A THING BYE
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i have most of my friends on different life360 circles (if u don’t know it’s an app that effectively… tracks your friends? LMAO) but my favourite one is easily the one i have with my two ‘course friends’ and one thing we always do is whenever the ‘____ has 10% battery’ notification comes up we all fucking SPAM the option to tell them to charge their phone. like it’s the STUPIDEST joke but i find it so fucking funny i literally will not notice my battery dying until these two idiots start blowing up my phone with the same damn automated message it makes me smile every time especially bc the one girl finds it SO FUCKING ANNOYING she loses her rag every time it kills me
#also I put ‘course friends’ in quotes like that bc that’s technically only 50% true#i have some weirdly connected circles at uni so this is the best way i can describe them#bc they’re not my flatmates but only one is actually on my course the other literally does law lol#they’re the ones I see most AT uni and they’re who i do all of my academics with#like i come home to my other friends FROM these guys yk???#ANYWAY#i love these girls sm the one on my course is probs my fave person in this whole city#we’re literally the exact same person to the point it’s SCARY how niche it gets sometimes#like the only difference between us is that she doesn’t like frodo that is literally how detailed it’s gotten LMAO#(yes i know she’s irredeemable for that I’m trying to cure her give me time)#might show some of our messages bc they make me smile#this is not interesting for anyone but me#but idc I love my friends#hella goes to uni
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goooood morning nice haul today (*￣▽￣)b
#crab plays#reverse 1999#shamane took like 60 pulls to come home (had a guarantee)#then went over to mp banner#eternity came after 20 pulls!! have been wanting her as well so not a bad loss of the 50/50#then mp came i think another 30 pulls later so not terrible luck there#now to rebuild the funds lol
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#if theres one and rly only one thing that i dont like abt things like meditation or psychedelics is that they open u up#and they make me more sensitive and vulnerable#which. when living at home. absolutely suckssss#like when im more emotionally repressed and closed off and w my 50 walls up i give way less of s fuck#filter most of it out or supress it or dissociate or whatever#but when im more like this it rly makes me wish i wasnt here.#because when i spend time alone im perfectly fine for the most part but 90% of the time intrracting w my parents drainsssss it outta me so#much. the drama the yelling the vibes the fucking; history of all the bullshit thats happened#and rly i have to get better when im in states like this at just. blocking it off#and handling it and building a resistance to it ;;;; without completely shutting myself down and dissociating and then it just coming#back in the form of unhealty habits#:/#lol i wanna be in the middle of a forest in a little hut ://// thatd b so much less overwhelming and nicer
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thalia is so growing on me i love my rich woman who has Problems.. i gave her ice powers for like. the elsa vibes.
#but im like damn... gale...karlach....stay away from her... or else ur gonna explode in the end....#really a coin toss between those two and im gonna be sad at the end but that's the thalia experience 😭😭#also i dont think she's gonna save the tieflings... not bc she's evil but she generally doesn't care... and curing the tadpole is her utmos#priority. like she's already stressed with her chaotic magic killing her if she loses 50/50 now you have to add brain worms on top of that?#funny that shri'iia does more heroic deeds and she's like. the evil aligned chara#but thalia is generally very cold in a sense that she's always looking at the bigger picture and she's willing to sacrifice/disregard#who gets caught in the crossfire.. like that's just another responsibility she has to bear for Her. and she's very the type to sacrifice he#own happiness for her Duty vibe. like i think she's just learned how to be content with whatever she's left with.#also she's her father's heir bc she's the only child to her father's First Wife. and thalia get step siblings along the way but i think tha#grief of losing her mother / becoming an adult/handling adult affairs quickly made her jaded on a lot of stuff#and she feels like it's her responsibility to lead her noble house to higher pastures so her step siblings can live freely#like she's just taking all the work to herself - as the Heir. and that's what she was doing UNTIL she gets the wild magic#now suddenly she feels like she's cursed. and the fact that it's chaotic by nature and so dangerous..!! she can't stay in court or at home#over the fear of harming someone. and she's learnt that to get rid of a problem you always have to go to the root of it#hence why she's travelling around finding more info and source of the wild magic in hopes to cure herself from it#and she kind of put her life on Pause bc she believes she can't get anywhere with this curse. but its like gworl u put ur life on pause lon#before that.. anyway her end goal is that once she cures herself and she's normal again she'll prob marry some other old money heir#set up trusts for her siblings and live a quiet life. but that wont happen obvi hehe#also one of the siblings' name is melpomene... being named from the goddess of comedy thalia is kinda boring lol#essentially her story is like. she learns how to have fun. essentially. depending on how i rp her idk yet actually
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lol my father had another temper tantrum and kicked me out of the car on the way to work slay 🤪
#hes been taking me bc my car is in the shop but uhhh lol#his check didnt clear bc of juneteenth and clearly that is my fault#luckly he kicked me out relatively close to the house so i was able to walk home#unluckily uhh im supposed to clock in in seven minutes and it takes like 20 to get to work (by car)#so guess who isnt goingg slayy#whatta life i live#yall dont even wanna know the level of tantrum he pulled omg#he parked in the middle of a parking lot (not in a spot fully in the middle of the lane) kicked everyone out of the car#walked abt ten feet and threw his phone then stormed off#after abt 50(?) feet he threw his keys and kept going#it looked like he went home (he did not have his house key so unsure of what the plan was)#he did eventually come back to get his things and went to work#i spent two hours writing this whoops#bc i was talking (ranting) w my mother before she finally left to go to work (she works closer so she was able to get there)#but my father just called me to tell me that hes “not going to apologize” but that he admits that he “overreacted”#he said he'll continue to take me to work tmr and that “he loves me” (yea okay.)#anyways#whatta day and its only 830a#elwyn.posting
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LMAOOOO no fr everyone kept saying "watch out for pickpockets !!!!!!!!!!" had me so nervous ...... not a single person approached me 💀
#and i was in both the main parts of the cities and the suburbs#if that's what they're even called#tbh the grossest part i was in was venice#like the central part and neighbouring islands were fine but as soon as you start walking away from the canal... whew#the further you get the worse it is 🤢 quite honestly don't understand the hype this city gets#unbelievably overrated.. and that's coming from a girlie who loves waterfront cities!#i live in montreal and love the old port! always been obsessed with halifax!#but my goodness the east coast here feels CLEAN compared to venice...#it smelled AWFUL and some areas in the city felt very third worldly...#like how was it reminding me of both montreal and the country i was born in at the same time?? 💀#lmao anyway#i wish i lived near the mediterranean sea... that's where i belong... that's home 💔#i'm such a water girlie but i also love the mountains (don't make me choose) so i can't even complain 😩#canada is gorgeous and humongous and we have everything here and there's still so much to discover#still intending on visiting every nhl city !! i'm at 4/7 canadian teams (not counting ex-teams & layovers lol)#not counting arenas either i've only done 2 and i was right by the arena in vancouver but never seen the toronto one#as for american teams... lol. only two 🤠#lowkey jealous of the states sometimes cause y'all could just road trip anywhere and see so many places at once#imagine if i tried to road trip from here to winnipeg. lol. there wouldn't be much to see on the way 🤣#ugh i already miss travelling i can't get enough#i need to explore more of asia though honestly#like south east asia especially 😩😩 indonesia... thailand...#i need trees. ok i need all of water mountains AND trees. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE !!#(see this is why canada is perfect for me lol. i really am so grateful to live here)#**#bro i just looked it up. it would take 25 hours to drive from montreal to winnipeg.#THAT'S THE SAME AS DRIVING TO FLORIDA. ARE YOU KIDDING ME#SEE WHAT I MEAN !!!! this country is huge and not many places would be checked off the list 😭#there's 50 states and here we have 10 provinces 😭😭
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apparently act 3 is when I need to push through the desire to start playing a new character, because now that I'm there with Iona too, I'm struck by an intense urge to play this pretty asshole
particularly struck by the thought of how fucked his whole situation must be under that armor
like, being born to druids but with no magic of his own, growing up, he never really needed to learn practical skills like dressing a wound, or anything of the sort (what's the point if your mom can just wave vaguely in your direction and whatever issue you have is gone). But when he left and found himself on his own.... given how stubborn he is, he probably learned all his battle- and survival skills by pure trial and error.
I imagine he has a number of weird and wonky, poorly stitched and awkwardly healed old scars, all over his body. Boken many bones, gotten into weird accidents, and has gotten many a bad infection before, too- really, it's a borderline miracle that he still has not only all his limbs, but all his fingers and toes too.
No wonder that he has 16 con to his (currently) 17 dex and his 8 int; without being preternaturally healthy and hardy, he'd easily be a decade dead. nah, this boy is just rawdogging life, smashing his head against walls and hoping that they'll break before his skull does.
i've played him for only like an hour, and I simultaneously hate and love this asshole cockroach of a man so much already
#oc: petyr wildbrook#squirrel plays bg3#I feel like every story he tells about himself is going to be met with at least one “..... okay how are you still alive”#like.... “one time I drank from a river and was shitting myself to death for a solid tenday- got better though”#“oh yeah this is just like that time I fell like 50-ish feet off a cliff- yeah I was fine just broke my leg”#“no yeah i just walked home and set it there; it was fine”#“hey wanna see the gnarly scar from when i first tried to sew myself up? yeah I got roaring drunk first; for anesthesia purposes”#“yeah that's why it's so wonky”#“well that and the horrible infection I got from it but after like a tenday of running a 40°C fever it healed fine”#“yeah i just had to reopen it to drain the puss and it was okay”#“oh it was NOT fun lol but hey it did work so who's the idiot”#Shadowheart will have to cradle his face in her hands and tell him very intently that his mantra#of “if it looks stupid but works it's not stupid”#doesn't exactly work that way when it comes to things like. healing.#plot twist it's not the change in her divine allegiances that turned her hair white#she just realized that this man is now officially her boyfriend and went instantly grey
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Not my cat flirting with every pet sitters I get him during my vacations lmao
#misc#this year it's a man#i was lowkey worried cause my cat don't know many men#(idk if they even can tell the difference tbh lmfao)#but this hoe of a cat smelled him and immediately targeted his legs#sometimes i wonder if he wouldn't cheat on me with another human if he had a chance dusjsjjejz#anyway the guy is a young man and as someone who struggled when i was younger#i feel like doing a good action paying someone to do a cool job#(i mean cleaning the litter is not exactly a fun job but getting paid to pet a cat is)#also i met him through my physio who knows everyone#because last year i chose a pet sitter through a pet sitting website#but it was hella expensive#and it's basically a scam cause i paid something like 150€ but only 50€ was for the pet sitter the other was for that shit website#fuck start-ups#anyway i decided to do it the old fashioned way#through social relationships#but i struggled cause i have not social relationships???#except for coworkers#but I don't want coworkers to go to my home#that's an absolute no#it'd be a violation plus i am ashamed of my home and shit#so i prefer someone I don't know at all#so if i get judged it has no consequences#(yes i have trust issues)#so i had to actually gather my courage and ask my physio if she knew someone because she works with lot of young adults and teens#and turns out the mom of the man was here and she said she'll ask him#can't go wrong with someone vetted by hus own mother lol#anyway he said cats are his favourite pets so we're good#Loki definitely sensed that he can plays him like fiddle
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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i guess i need to have a "god i'm so awful and selfish and wrong and shameful for having attempted suicide" moment at least once a day for the foreseeable future
#hate it honestly#my coworker was telling me about her break up#which is bad like i know that shit hurts really i do#but then i got home and got hit by a wave of fuck. other ppl have normal problems like their love life. work struggles. etc#meanwhile i tried to kill myself (again) and just have to go on as if i didn't almost die?#i offered to listen and help her and i'd do it gladly if she takes up my offer#but it's kinda hysterical that i'm here trying to help other people when i can barely stay alive and feel an unspeakable amount of shame#about it#it's just bizarre. weird. headache inducing#like yeah i'm there listening to people's love problems and idk car issues which yes all difficult stuff but#meanwhile in my head it's like “shit. they don't even know i tried to kill myself to end my fucking life. what would they say if they did”#idk. lots of shame. i keep sayjng it here sorry i just don't know where else to lol will talk abt it in therapy but yknow#just started w this therapist there's only so much you can say in like 50 mins but maybe the 2nd session
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cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc
pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement
#taylor.txt#the extenuating circumstances point was not me btw. i know someone who had his degree delayed an entire year because of two weeks in psych#we’re in a co-op program or else maybe it wouldve just been one semester but. lol#i hate it here…i hate it#but hey…at least i have the world’s shittiest health insurance!#some of my classmates say they dont feel like working full-time is easier than going to school full-time but it so is#for me. anyway. even when i fumbled my time management bad on the field and make no mistake i was incredibly busy plus i chose a field#notorious for Unpaid Overtime and Taking Your Work Home. even then. it was still easier than this#i would never do undergrad again. i loved everything i learned. i took interesting and awesome classes#but i would never ever do it again. miserable overworked spent most of it friendless until i got on the field#i have a friend who keeps being like idk how you did 4 physics classes this sem and im like girl we are education students…thats an average#semester for a physics major. how must THEY feel#also i have to say just you know. generally. ive worked full-time while living with my parents#AND while living alone. and 50 hours a week was incredibly manageable in the former arrangement. i even wrote and edited an entire novel#in the beginning stages of a pandemic while working 50 hours a week of retail and fast food hell. 40 hours full-time with weekends off#while living alone though? thats hard. i still managed to go to the gym almost every day#currently? i cant get out of bed in the morning. i am putting in 12 hour days and then goinng to bed unable to sleep because im so stressed#i have dreams about school. tangentially theres a really good marxist poem i read last year about this phenomenon in workers#ANYWAY. i have just 8 more days 4 exams 1 research paper and video project#i think i can pass and then thats it. my next semester is hell but just because scheduling the actual classes will be easy#and then i get to go back on the field and actually want to wake up every day. lol#and 8 days from now i will have my christmas shopping done and my apartment will be clean and i will be a fanfic writing machine#also my friends and i booked a demolition room so im sure that will be beneficial kfldjfldndks
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Man. Interacting on tumblr is so much easier/nicer/common than on twitter. The tag system means it's much more convenient to search for posts outside of your direct circle, which leads to a lot more interaction, and a lot more fun. I made my tumblr in 2013 and my twitter in 2017 so this is where I got my start, but in the past few years I've been much more active on twitter and have really missed out. It's cool interacting with strangers even just for a post or two. There's a lot more sharing of headcanons and theories and meta/analysis, and I love it.
#erurandomness#erubabbles#hello everyone!#i may not always be quick to reply but i really appreciate all the interaction#it makes me so happy#i'm pretty sure at this point 50-80% of my followers are dead blogs#because i've been here for almost 11 years now#but there are some followers who are still active and i appreciate you. whether it's commentary or just a blank like/reblog#same thing for strangers who don't follow me but stumble onto my posts#i love the discussions that pop up here#it's really fun to think about things like this#i mean have you seen my essays lol i have fun with it okay#or my tag stories tag#there are so many more opportunities here to THINK and express yourself#which is also a benefit of the length that tumblr allows for#versus twitter's character limit#i like twitter too but there's a reason tumblr feels like home.
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misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol
#Not sure how to caption every photo because you can unfortunately no longer caption photos so that text appears#under them when you view them. you can only add photo descriptions (which is more about literally describing#the image for people who can't see it or etc.). I wish they had the ability to have both captions and descriptions as both are useful for#different functions but it seems they took captions away entirely so. I guess I'll have to just number every picture and then talk about th#em in the tags or soemthing?? SO.. starting from top left to right --#image 1: blackberries BUT also if you look close.. there's a tiny little bug on them lol#image 2: little water droplets on the back of a leaf that looked cool.. love anything with tiny water orbs#image 3&4: a spiky fuzzy sort of caterpillar outside on a yardwork glove.. small friend#image 5: THIS is such a bad slogan!!! what a lie!!! I personally would LOVE to have a sandwich party! in fact I would rather attend a#sandwich party than a pizza party because it would be fun to sample a wide variety of sandwich platters with all different meats and chee#& breads & ingredients & etc. !! now I just wish I could go to a cool sandwich sampling party w a full buffet of various mini sandwiches :#image 6: a chicken sandwich I made myself at home. with swiss cheese >:3#image 7&8 : HHRGH it's a CAT and also bubble tea!!! AND is pastel teal! but alas.. it was like $20 and I didnt want to pay that but now#looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello#kitty or something. I didn't really notice that until later lol. I was just thinking 'OMG A CAT!'. I love all cats. brand or no brand lol#image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And#the typical drink order of pina colada smoothie (i think it's coconut pineapple and strawberry?). plain matcha bubble tea (favorite and all#I ever get from anywhere). and a strawberry smoothie thing. I also usually get a coffee bubble tea but the place is like 50% of the time ou#of coffee for some reason so. hggh.. Which I know is like everyday food for some people but. I get food from places SO rarely that it's al#ays an event to take a picture about lol. Just cooking at home 99% of the time makes those trips for fancy food more special I guess#Id rather save the money/dont have much in the 1st place .& also am still a freak who hates using apps/dislikes shit like ubereats or etc.#I would literall NEVER get food delivered to my house under any circumstance unless I was dying alone inside on hospital bed rest with no#support system and no transportation and having food delivered to me was my last possible option. otherwise. if I want something so bad#I can just leave the house to physically pick it up myself without involving a middle man to the process and paying more. .. ANYWAY ghjgjh#image 10: BOY in BOX.. playing a new boardgame and he sits inside! rip to my big beautiful son. I miss him.#UpWords is a fun game though. It's similar to scrabble except you can stack the letters? interesting#Okay. that's all the pictures! Also for the record I do think it's a good thing to have image descriptions! I wasn't complaining in the sen#e that I wish they would get rid of them and bring captions back. more just I would like to have both preferrably. I liked being able to#caption things on the occasional post like this where the layout is better suited towards it.#photo diary
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spoke to an advisor and Ive now signed up to take a class that starts in Feb. The semester isn't totally lost! I'll at least be busy with something! yaaaaay.
#tipsy nonsense#also switched to a school thats only a 25min drive from home and NOT 50 min like wtf was I thinking with that#I shall be exploring the wonderful world of microeconomics bc it was the only one that had seats left lol#and possibly moving on into an accounting major bc I have no idea what else to do in life
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