i'm distracting myself from real life by thinking about magic users who stim using their spell components
of course there are the classics of using your arcane/divine focus and/or material components to fidget with:
rolling augury sticks/bones/dice around in your hands or pushing them around a table, shuffling and cutting your tarot deck
feeling the softness of the feathers used for flight-based magic
twirling small pieces of wire and constantly bending them into various shapes before straightening them again
pulling your amulet along the chain that holds it along your neck, using a particular spot or groove along its surface as a worry stone to rub your finger on or pick at
but what about the verbal stims you can make out of the arcane and divine languages the magics are based in:
turning casting phrases into patterns to chant or challenging yourself to repeat them as fast as you can like tongue twisters
picking out the particularly satisfying parts of the elemental languages used in your casting to echo throughout the day
maybe a non-magical party member picks up bits and pieces of the phrases the casters of the group say as they cast and try speaking them for themselves, seeing how the words form the potential for magic in their mouth but find no purchase to be brought into existence
i've mainly been thinking about somatic and physical components as stims though. how the intricate finger and wrist movements used to pluck magic out of thin air must be so satisfying. but also how a magic user who might gesture wildly as they speak or try to keep their fidgeting fingers from drawing too much attention could be gesticulating with movements from their spells unintentionally, and what sort of subtext that could lend to what they are saying:
a cleric going through the motions of a bane or a blessing towards their conversational partner, depending on how the conversation is going
gesticulating through an emotion calming spell as they try to talk someone down from a heated argument
a wizard saying "sorry, could you repeat that?" as their fingers imperceptibly twitch through their language comprehension spell and they focus more of their attention on the speaker
a druid fumbling to catch an item they dropped as their fingers try to summon a vine instead of reaching for it themselves
nervous fingers busily trying to cast invisibility on the body they're attached to after their joke falls flat
fingers rubbing temples in a similar way to how they would cast a spell to see through illusions or invisibility as the caster continues trying to see the solution they know is right in front of them
hands subtly motioning to produce flame or acid or electricity in their palms before being outstretched to shake the hand of a new acquaintance that has already managed to rub the caster the wrong way
hands that jolt into the beginnings of protective spells with each roll of thunder or crack of lightning the caster hears outside
it just seems very right to me
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Mandatory rant about kaveh’s 2023 birthday letter incoming!!
Kaveh and Alhaitham’s birthday message subject lines are seen to mirror the other through their usage of punctuation, as Alhaitham’s subject line reads as: “…” as opposed to Kaveh’s: ‘!!!’.
A sense of familiarity evoked in their current living situation emanates from these mirrorings and within this message. Kaveh writes about him bringing coffee beans “home” in order to try, and then follows this with: “we compared the taste of each, we decided that this was the best”. Through Kaveh’s explicit usage of the word “home”, it is evident that the “we” refers to him and Alhaitham. This description establishes a sense of domesticity, only to be achieved in a mutually agreed ‘home’ as opposed to a ‘house’.
It is relevant to reference Kaveh’s understanding of “home”, as in a place in which words are not necessary and link it to the idea of companionship being more important than understanding. The latter idea consists of supporting a person, regardless of the ability to empathise with and relate to their particular struggles, should be valued over attempting to be understood by people who are not willing to listen in order to understand - established by Kaveh’s mother within his hangout.
In this, Alhaitham is offered as a companion to Kaveh, where he cannot empathise with Kaveh’s artistic and idealistic struggles, but he is willing to listen to him over offering empty words which cannot solve Kaveh’s particular problems.
Kaveh’s understanding of “home” as a place in which people are at ease with each other and support another regardless, can be seen within his relationship with Alhaitham.
Kaveh and Alhaitham split the chores according to Alhaitham’s character stories; they both make attempts to decorate the house; presumably they eat dinner together, according to Alhaitham’s Story Quest where he excuses himself in order to have dinner, only to talk to Kaveh; the two can be seen to share a study; when ordering out, Kaveh orders extra for Alhaitham – a common enough occurrence for Alhaitham to be confident in relying on this; and for Kaveh’s birthday they try coffee beans together to determine the best ones to send onto Kaveh’s friends - Kaveh’s close friends who are also Alhaitham’s.
Rather than the “cold” and “lonely” house which Kaveh was left with after the passing of his father and departure of his mother, this conjures the image of warmth and familiarity. In this, it can be inferred that the two have created a home together.
(Update: For more analyses like this, the essay this is taken from is now uploaded! It can be accessed here and here as as a pdf <3)
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I want to make a longer post about this someday but: I think Arya's TWOW arc is going to include her coming to terms with her identity as a Lady. This has been an ongoing conflict with her since her first chapter and I think her flowering in winds is going to mark a turning point. The theory of her having an apprenticeship with the courtesans holds a lot of weight and the idea of Arya going through puberty among a group of unconventional women she's fostered a positive relationship with is just too perfect. It would really have an impact on Arya reconciling her personal idea of what a Lady should be. There's also a lot that she could learn from them in terms of courtesies, communication, appearances, body-language, etc. that would elevate her current skill-set and ways her relationship with them could push the plot.
Not to mention she will undoubtedly reclaim her identity as Arya Stark, and her being a Lady is inseparable from that. Arya Stark is a Lady Stark and being a Lady is a social position, not a measure of how well someone preforms feminine tasks. She shouldn't have to relinquish her position because she doesn't fit patriarchal standards. That's not to say that she's ever going to be the perfect example of a traditional Lady but what I think will happen is that she becomes capable of playing the part. She plays several identities throughout the series but she's always been Arya underneath, so I think it's appropriate that she learns to adopt a "persona" that's part of her. Her remembering Ned putting on his "Lord's face" (+ the various examples of other characters being separate from their ruling persona) makes me think that Arya will be donning her "Lady's face" when she makes a return to Westeros.
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I love that weird two-headed alien thing in Anakt Garden so much and especially that pic of ivan resting in its jaw. I know the picture isn't intended to be cute but when I see it I just think of when mother crocodiles scoop up their babies in their mouths to carry them. Ivan was that things little buddy
I do too! It’s one of my favorite pieces of official art. They just look so cute!! I love that you called Ivan the wagyein’s little buddy 🥹
You’re right about mother crocodiles, I never thought of it that way before. Maybe the wagyein saw Ivan as its baby? Or rather, something that needed its protection?
Another thing I love is how there are so many ways to interpret what the picture means.
Perhaps we’re meant to focus on the similarities between the two: red eyes, prominent teeth/tooth, obedient, monstrous (the wagyein literally and Ivan metaphorically).
Or it could be Ivan symbolically surrendering to the ugly parts of his inner self.
I like to think the picture shows an understanding between them.
They are both odd and somewhat solitary creatures, misunderstood by others. There are ugly parts in each of them that they can’t hide. But they find comfort in one another.
Ivan, resting in the wagyein’s mouth surrounded by all of its teeth, is extremely vulnerable; which we rarely if ever see him be at any other time in the series. The wagyein is also vulnerable to any attack beyond its teeth, throat, etc.
The fact that Ivan isn’t afraid of getting torn to shreds by the beast and the wagyein let Ivan so close suggests that there’s a level of mutual trust as well.
I wonder how Ivan felt when he gained the wagyein’s trust.
We know he struggled to connect with his classmates. Did he feel further ostracized when he had an easier time connecting to some sort of alien creature than other humans?
Did he see too many of his own features in the wagyein (red eyes, sharp teeth, and so on) to even think he was as human as the other children?
Maybe that’s where the idea of Ivan as a monster came from.
I firmly believe the similarities between the two were intentional.
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Re: your mental health comic - I hope, if any of those characters are based on real hallucinations youve had, that you don't have them anymore. You're a good person who doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.
(Referencing this or this post, I’m not sure which)
Thank you so much for your kind words! The characters in those works are representations of actual hallucinations I’ve experienced. They were real nasty pieces of work, but I haven’t actually hallucinated one in a severe enough manner to talk to them in about… Shoot. Hang on, I need to think… 5-ish years now? I think? And the last time I did, I heard a brief sentence before I took some heavy-duty meds that knocked me out and took care of the hallucination by the time I woke up. I’ve gone through a lot of growth between now and then, and I’m now in a place where the only lasting legacy those losers have had is making me very good at abstract descriptions + personifications and self-reflection. Their cruel words are fuzzy and vague things that I barely remember.
Heck, I went through some old notes to remember some nicknames I gave them, and it was a blast from the past that I actually laughed at! They actually called me “less than worthless” to the point I internalized and verbalized it many times? Wow. That’s pretty cringe, guys. You spent your entire lives bullying a teenager. Cool. Now I love myself and forgot that was ever a mantra I recited at all times in my head.
I once had a project I was working on where I made a fictionalized autobiography set in a fantasy world starring a self-insert and these jokers. It was going to be a kind of field guide to hallucinations I experienced. I stopped working on it after a while because it was too painful for me to develop, as it was meant to dig deep into the pain and struggles I went through on a daily basis… and now I’m looking back at it and considering making it a humorous story about how ridiculous my hallucinations were— at least the ones with consistent personalities. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, truly.
I might end up posting some of the more solemn journal comics I made about these chuckleheads... It'd be weird to dig up my significantly older work, but I think it would do me some good and maybe be enjoyable / educational for others!
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Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.
Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.
Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.
'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.
Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.
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