#i have no idea how to tag this so people can retrieve it for reference

[thedawningofthehour]

Galois Room Post!

I made Gale's room in the Sims! It took a ridiculous amount of time for such a tiny room. Overall I'm pretty happy with how it turned out-it's faithful to what I was picturing, and the places it's not can be blamed more on the limitations of the Sims 4. One thing I struggled with was the size. It's supposed to be a pretty small room, most of the living areas in Draxum's house are, but I definitely had trouble placing everything I wanted in there. Sizing it up 1x1 made it feel too big though. (Sims 5, please let us build walls on half or quarter tiles, I'm BEGGING you) In the end I couldn't fit in a real bookshelf, which was my only real gripe, but he still has plenty of space for books. (plus Draxum has so many bookshelves, he can offload some if he gets too cramped)

I wanted to have it mostly Galois but not 100% Galois. He's a teenager and wants to decorate his bedroom to the nines because that's what teenagers do, but I also wanted to keep in mind that this furniture was not bought for him and was mostly left over from its last occupant/bought when Draxum viewed Donnie as his new science slave and not his son.

Without further ado, here we go!

It's...yeah, it's white. Nothing else really looked good. It was Bella's room first and Draxum didn't bother to repaint. She probably had this place papered with posters and cringey 90's wall hangings when she lived here. In retrospect pale purple walls were a trend in the 90's, but whatever it's done now.

(I also forgot to paint the walls originally so I might have just gotten used to the white)

Also just imagine the ceilings are a little lower, the wall height needed to be on medium for the rest of Draxum's house to work and due to how the Sims 4 works I couldn't give just Gale's room shorter walls. The top of the cabinet should be touching the ceiling.

Other side! Gave him some nice plants, he's got some hanging ones around his bed and computer area. :) I'm not sure how I feel about the rug but I was feeling a circular rug and the colors worked. Left door is to the bathroom.

Huginn and Muninn 100% made that knitted turtle for him.

Did I give him one of those fairy light canopies every movie and sitcom character had in the 2000's? Yes. Yes I did. Look, I wasn't planning on it, but I saw it in the lighting section and I had to give it to him. I know I'm terrible to him but he is my baby and I will spoil him.

Better view of the bed. (the canopy kept fading from existence) Got the salt lamp and the lantern Cass gave him, I'm so happy I found those. I'm probably the least happy here, he needs more stuff on his shelves and more pictures under them. There's so many goddamn pictures in this room but HE IS A TEENAGED BOY and this is how they express themselves.

Also the clutter under the bed. In-fic that platform is actually storage space, so it works. Please enjoy how he's hiding his fashion magazines behind the pillow.

His little computer corner! The Draxum family stays pretty unplugged when they're not at work, (Draxum would like them to be anyway) but Gale's allowed to have all the tech he wants in his bedroom as long as it stays in this corner.

Swing back again and-

Just pretend that the vampire doll is Atomic Lass, okay?

So that bookcase thing. Is NOT a bookcase. It is a thing of evil. It drove me absolutely nuts because I wanted to fill those shelves in with clutter. Those are not snap points. But the bookcase has snap points. So I couldn't alt-move stuff there or use 9-0 keys because they'd just snap to the bottom there. So now they just look empty and stupid while he has books on the floor.

But other than that, I like this corner. He's got some binders for schoolwork in the cubby there, got some artsy stuff for relaxing and his box of vinyl records with no record player. (Draxum probably has a record player somewhere) It looks like how an actual teenager would organize his shit. I'm not sure how I feel about him leaving a stack of books on the floor, but overall Gale is a very good book owner so I'm sure he's careful.

He doesn't get a window so I gave him a nice picture with curtains so he can pretend.

On a side note, I absolutely fucking hate the curtains in this game, that was the only set that looked good and didn't cover up the whole damn picture AND THEY DIDN'T COME IN PURPLE. Really, there's such a lack of purple in this room. Blame the color swatches, because I tried. God I miss Create-A-Style.

Again, please use your imagination and imagine the bulletin board filled with pictures of him with Cass or Pax and loving notes from the goyles. There's also a watch on his dresser-before he recreated his tech gauntlet, Draxum gave him a really nice watch to wear. He doesn't wear it anymore because having his gauntlet on hand is a major source of comfort, but he still loves the watch. I also realize this looks more like a girl's bedroom, but to be fair Donnie is very gender and Galois inherited that from him.

(I was SO tempted to put that box of kleenex behind his computer)

Close-up of the clutter in his corner. I know Donnie's canonically not into geology, but this game really wants you to use rocks as decor. Also purple.

I don't know what that orb thing is supposed to be. Maybe like a mini version of the orb Draxum was looking into during the Goyles episode? That sounds like something a Yokai teenager would have in their room.

I wanted to give him a stereo too but my game glitched out and wouldn't place any, so I put a mixtape there in honor of that. We'll say Cass made it for him.

I did make his bathroom too, but it's not the most interesting because

Yeah, pretty small.

God, doors in this game look so silly when they're up against a wall.

It was looking way too white so I gave him the fishies and the plants for a splash of green. That sink is also SO not the style I was going for but everything else was clashing with the other counter. We can say this bathroom was remodeled at some point when vessel sinks were in fashion. I don't know why because no one was living here when they were. (Huginn and Muninn probably did it as a weekend project just for fun) I feel like he needs a rug and a big piece of art on the opposite wall, now that I'm looking at it.

I definitely went overboard with the bathroom clutter. I was just very excited that I was able to squeeze in a whole counter just for decoration. Seriously, I just wanted to add in that eyebrow pencil so he could draw on his eyebrows, then that evolved into the blush palette and the makeup brushes and the lotions and the nail stuff. He doesn't even fucking wear blush.

He did make his electric toothbrush, though Draxum makes him keep a backup because he's skeptical about how that works.

And that's the build! I'm also building the rest of Draxum's house, but it's taking a while due to the absolute utter ridiculousness of the layout. (I mean, it's my own fault, I'm the one that chose this layout)(and also because I need to use the curved wall tool for his mushroom house, and by god curved walls are impossible to work with) Decorating should be quicker though, the only place with this level of detail should be the lab and maybe the greenery. I'll probably revise his room a little, maybe paint his walls an actual color. I also want to do something more with the cactus he has on his counter. Maybe I'll download some more CC so I can give him purple curtains.

I also have no idea if this is actually playable. Probably not, I feel like a Sim wouldn't be able to figure out the platform bed thing. But whatever, I didn't make this to actually play in.

[tf2-plus2]

Hi there! Welcome to the pinned post!

So what's this blog for? It's where I get to share my silly and non-silly headcanons, ideas, theories, and OCs for Team Fortress 2! I will have at least 2 OCs in the cast, but that number may grow (... maybe, they'll probably be NPCs if I actually make any more...)

So let's lay some ground rules and basic info, yeah?

Is this an ask, RP, or fanfic sort of blog?

Yes. Just yes. I've been running blogs like this for a literal 10 years at this point that are part story driven, part RP with other peoples' muses, and part ask. It's my bread and butter lol.

Are you games or comics based?

A bit of both, mostly comics based because I'm coming in super late and the comics are silly and I love the shenanigans in them

Silly? Angst? Absolutely batshit nonsense?

Generally a mix of all three. This series is based in nonsense, but has potential for angst (which I'm a big sucker for). So expect half a dozen of one and six of the other.

Is there a story here or?

Much like the two above questions, yes and no. I'm more or less inserting my own characters into the lore and sharing how I feel that affects events in the way I understand them. To that end, there's really only a Team RED and a Team BLU, but I may make mention of other teams aside from Fortress (given they're mentioned in the comics, it isn't a stretch!). And I have an idea for handling how I think the comics would have ended, but we'll get to that in time.

Rules?

Be respectful. Remember that I am 25+ years old (yeah, yeah, I'm old), and I'm honestly iffy on many minors interacting here (if I post any NSFW writing, it'll be tagged, but that's a BIG IF), but I can't control what others do. This is actually one of 2 big fandom project blogs I run, with the other being on an unannounced hiatus, and I will draw for this blog occasionally but that does take time.

Also we will have no hate here, cringe or not, this blog is to have fun, either for me or for those interacting. This is the only blog to this account and I am not shy about using the block button. That said, I am friendly, I am down for sharing my steam to queue up every now and then, and I do play games aside from TF2 that people might want to join me for. Remember the first rule and it'll be good! ^^

Who's on this blog?

Mostly, just the 9 Mercs and my two OCs, Retriever and Assassin (hence the blog name!) But, I am a sucker for writing multimuse and I'm sort of sharing a storyline, so expect others to pop up such as Pauling, Saxton, NPC OCs, the Mann Bros, etc. I'm getting a handle for the characters, so bare with me, but it's fun for me so far!

Shipping?

Yes. Refer to the rules about no hate. Specifically two OCxCanon ships with RetrieverxSniper and AssassinxScout, and I'm a HeavyxMedic shipper. That's what I have so far, and that list may grow over time as I get more of a feel for how I write these characters (also later there will be ZhannaxSoldier).

And who are you?

You can call me Cherry, or Cherena. As said, I am 25+, she/they pronouns (interchangeable), and a self taught artist who primarily uses traditional mediums (I'm branching into digital, slowly). If asked, I may share my main and other big project blog. And honestly? I've learned to just be cringe and free, so yes I know and I don't care (edit; I forgot to tag my main, it's @cherry-blxssxm-chaos)

Anyways, have fun! Be respectful! Remember to use common sense, and don't shy from asking questions or interacting!

[dovesndecay]

Tell us more about your amnesiac aasamir? :)

[img: A HeroForge mini of a masc-presenting person in thick, brown furs with purple accents. He has medium brown skin, short, spiky white hair, and light brown eyes. He is holding a staff in his left hand and a ball of flame in his right. One white brow has a slit, and both ears have hoops. His expression is somewhat confused or disdainful, lips curled and brow lifted. At his feet are fallen leaves and a small campfire. /end]

Level 4 | 13 STR | 14 DEX | 17 CON | 14 INT | 16 WIS | 18 CHA

Kelric Ashling has been in Ten Towns since just before the eternal winter began. He was found in the woods with the beginning of hypothermia and already frostbitten, losing his left ring and pinkie fingers. He was found by Ulrich Frostborn, played by @chaosqueer, a half-orc barbarian living outside of Brynn Shander. The two of them are basically besties, though Kelric would be confused by that. Ulrich, meanwhile, would be terribly hurt that Kelric didn't think they were besties. After all, Ulrich carved him prosthetics for his hand!

He has no memory of his life prior to arriving in Ten Towns, and so, after getting patched up, he stayed. It's been nearly three years of simply existing in this bullshit cold-as-a-witch's-rectum hellscape, but he doesn't have much else to do, so he stays and he does odd jobs in exchange for room and board, and funds to stock away for rainy days. He can do some fire magic, but has no idea how he knows how to do it, and lately it's been a bit ... out of control.

Since some of the settlements in Ten Towns have human sacrifice lotteries, he and Ulrich -- the two of them are often referred to as "The Ricks", although never to Kelric's face -- travel around to mitigate the risk of ending up on the lottery and getting sacrificed to the Auril, The Frost Maiden.

At the beginning of our campaign, Heliodora Arleccina, played by @natalieironside, a goth jester Drow bard, showed up in town, presumably for shits and giggles, and joined our little band of job-doers. She seems to be mostly inclined towards making money and enjoying shenanigans, and she's good at both, so Kelric is cool with her tagging along. A bard is always useful.

One of the ways I've been playing with his amnesia is that I'll roll a d20 to see how he reacts to certain things. He doesn't know all the spells he knows, so when Heliodora tries to Message him to work out a plan during a job, in front of the target, in public -- who we are meant to kill, subtly and without getting caught -- Kelric freaks out and accidentally ends up in a fight with the town guard in the middle of the market. During the fight, he also accidentally sets an inn very on fire, and lets one of their enemies go to try and save the people while the party flees the town.

I'm waiting to see how that one comes back to bite us later.

There's a massive Bumble problem -- abominable snowmen, which we've taken to calling Bumbles -- throughout the area, and the party has been running into them every time we leave town.

The Eternal Winter Bullshit has drawn a newly graduated ... *squints* druid??? maybe?? I don't remember, tbh. Her name is Danikka, but we've taken to calling her The Nerd. When she arrived in town, he felt a flicker of recognition at her robes, but couldn't place them. He may have unnerved her slightly when he approached, sat down, and stared at her as if he could will himself to remember something. Ulrich's gentle intervention was necessary as a third party to ease the awkward encounter.

Every so often, he knows or uses a spell he didn't know he had -- the scene below was because he used Druidcraft without even realizing it. The Nerd is helping him "learn" magic -- and he's gathering materials for her to cast a spell to hopefully restore his memory. Our last job was to retrieve an gem trader's inventory, and our reward was one diamond specifically because The Nerd needs it for the spell.

Kelric looked across the bar to where Danikka sat at a table, the Chwinga resting on the beehive she'd wrestled her hair into. "Hey, nerd!" Danikka looked up, blinking wide eyes. "Yes?" Kelric immediately groaned. "Don't answer to that, kid!"

Kelric is a very gruff, no-nonsense sort of guy. He's not a chatter. He fails to ask follow-up questions, and walks away from conversations the moment he feels he's done with them -- regardless of whether the other person feels the same way.

And then he walks back in when he remembers that he needs more information, like, where the fuck he's supposed to be going.

Honestly, thank gods for Ulrich, because Kelric would walk off without his head 90% of the time if it weren't attached.

He also doesn't know he's an Aasimar -- pretty much everyone assumes he's a genasi or a half-elf or something, thanks to the slightly pointed ears and the scales -- so when he never "sleeps" for more than four hours, he thinks he has insomnia. Ulrich makes him various teas to try and help, which Kelric drinks despite having Zukoesque ideas about tea.

He always takes last watch. He's a brandy man. Green is his favorite color. He's very impatient -- nearly barging into the rooms of inn guests in order to follow up on a flyer they left on the Craigsboard -- but thankfully, Ulrich is there to rein him in most days.

Mostly.

Oh, and if the Northlook Inn ever burns down, he'll save Ol' Bitey before anybody else.

[img: A red fish with a wide, bold forehead, a number of scars, and a white belly, mounted on a piece of wood like real world singing fish products. Beneath the fish, there is a name plaque that reads, "OL' BITEY". /end]

[genericswordsmaiden]

summer reading/writing/arting tag

Tagged by @inkysqueed (thank you so much, fellow Jumpluff and Oblivion enjoyer!)

1) Describe one creative WIP you plan on working on over the summer.

Of course, even though I have many ideas in mind (a one piece/crossover fic, an oblivion fanfic and a story about an AU me and my friend @zombinafonfrankenstein came up with) I'm going to continue writing Dark! I'm giving it my all because my goal is to publish it and see it on shelves!!! But for now the english version is available on ao3 (it is updated a bit irregularly because of life and other stuff, but some friends said that it's good nonetheless)

A description of it? Magic amnesiac guy and friends travel across the Afterlife to retrieve books and save the universe from some kind of eldritch creature. It sounds like pure crack and in some way it is. It's also brutal.

2) Recommend a book!

Oh, this is a tough one! But if y'all haven't done it yet, go read The Book Thief. That story changed my life, and it made me cry so much. I loved Liesel and Max's friendship, and also Rudy... He was best boy. And Hans deserves the title of best father ever. Oh god I'm crying again, it's been years since I last read it and it's still a fresh wound! A masterpiece.

3) Recommend a fic!

Another tough one, since there's so many fics I'd like to share! I can't name less than five though, because I absolutely adore them and I wish people of the respective fandoms would read them. Sorry.

Honor bound by penwarrior11 (The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion) (this one is part of a series and it is the first fic of it. It follows the story of the game alright, but I love the scenes with Mara and Martin, and also Baurus. A precious little gem.)

Everything by nonman (Half Life: Alyx) (this one began in 2021 and proceeded slowly, as of now I'm waiting for the last chapter but guys, it is great! It gives continuation of the cliffhanger at the end of HL:A and it is written masterfully)

No more dreaming of the dead by @mina-murray-harker (Re-Animator 1985) (I love the style of this one, safe and disturbing and full of movie and music references. I think the Re-Animator fandom would love it to bits just as yours truly does)

Candlelight by @clichejoe (Encanto) (this is still my comfort fic and it is very beautiful, colorful - and the main character is the most lovable oddball researcher ever)

The fear of the ocean by FishingLure (JoJo's bizarre adventure) (this one emotionally scarred me - it's been two years and I still haven't recovered)

4) Recommend music!

Pat Metheny Group's discography. But also Seventeen's discography... No, I have to choose a single song. I must choose a single song or else I'll be here all night! Alright, here we go: Haru No Maboroshi by Superfly. It sounds like a sunset. I used to listen to it when I ended uni lessons late in the afternoon, it gives me a comforting feeling and restores my spirit a bit.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Hmmm, I'd say to never forget yourself. Other people may leave, but yourself is the only one who will never leave you. Some people might see this as insensitive wording, but I truly mean this with all my heart. There's time to be spent in introspection, there's love to be found in ourselves, for ourselves. There's a certain kind of healing that can only occur when you are with yourself. Also, to everyone reading this, regardless of shape color gender and preferences regarding tea - tell people who are dear to you how much you love them and hug them. Spread good stuff, hugs are the best drug - and they're free!!

Tagging @koumeowkami and @stardusteyes and also the other beautiful people I already tagged are totally free to copy this and post their own answers!

[selfawarejester]

So, someone requested a fic where Blue Team rescues a Child!Reader from a war zone, but unfortunately Tumblr ate the ask. If you’re the one who requested it, please enjoy!

EDIT: found a screenshot! @simp-for-fictional-men-only, hope you like this!

Blue Team x Child!Reader (Halo)

It’s been a long “day”, even by Spartan standards.

Blue Team had been trying to repel Covenant forces on an Outer Colonies planet for over a week… but it hadn’t been enough. Command had called an evacuation, and after destroying a base to help the efforts, Blue Team had been ordered to help with final evacuation calls in the nearest town.

On the Pelican ride to town, there was a brief moment where they thought it was a waste of resources to send Spartans for an evacuation op, especially because the other Spartan teams were still doing the best they could to strike back at the Covenant; not necessarily to stop them anymore, just to hold them back long enough for the civilians to escape and maybe a little revenge. The events of the week, coupled with the guilt of their brothers and sisters still risking their lives, weighed on them heavily.

But at the end of the day, they’re glad they did: they found a group in the Rec center, a dozen people in the boroughs, twenty in an apartment complex — the Marines wouldn’t have been able to lift most of the wreckage that blocked them from escaping.

By the time they’d gotten to the outskirts of town, Blue Team had been left alone to sweep through the dead town. Chief considered just going to meet up with the Marines — surely, they could match the pace of the overloaded Troop Transports — and this area was just dilapidated factories and shady looking establishments that had long since been stampeded.

But a need to fulfil his task to completion stayed his hand… and thank god it did.

At first, it was just soft sniffles that sounded from the inside of the rundown factory. Chief and Kelly, who’d partnered up to search this side of the district, thought it was one of the many Jackals that had been posted in the previous sector wandering, or a Grunt that had been left behind after the Jackals had entertained themselves (in which case, they should probably put the thing out of its misery), so they go inside.

Chief goes first, moving carefully through the debris so as to not dislodge the wreckage, or disturb the corpses of the few soldiers and more civilians. He retrieves their dog tags, securing them in one of the compartments of the MJOLNIR, and Kelly follows, stepping where he does.

Slowly, the sound becomes louder and louder, wheezing and snotty sobbing. Definitely an injured Grunt, he thinks. It’s coming from under a slab of concrete propped up against a wall. Kelly flanks to the right, while Chief goes to the left. He signals that he’ll lift it on the count of three, and grips the edge of the slab. When the slab gets tossed aside, Kelly raises her shotgun, pointing directly at the small figure.

You shriek and bury your head in your knees, pulled up to your chest. You couldn’t believe that after all the gross, awful things you’d had to sit through, holed up in this corner, you were just going to die.

But when nothing happens for a solid five seconds, you chance a peek over your knees and gasp. S-117 and S-087 are emblazoned across the chests of the armored giants… Spartans.

Kelly and Chief exchange confused gazes, having no idea how to deal with children. The last ones they’d had any interaction with was the Castoffs on Netherop, but they were more feral gremlins than they had been children.

(Kelly and Fred still aren’t entirely sure that the whole incident wasn’t a heat-induced hallucination.)

John really doesn’t want to go through another episode like it, but on the other hand, it would be easier if you were pelting rocks at them.

Kelly, being the more personable of the two, kneels to your height (or as close as a Spartan could get) and softly calls. “You don’t have to be scared. We’re here to help.”

You knew that — they were Spartans! The greatest heroes Humanity ever possessed! You were just shocked that you were getting rescued by them.

“Y-you’re Spartans.” You whisper dumbly, but you couldn’t help it! How are you supposed to be cool when you grew up with Master Chief’s action figure on your nightstand. “Like Master Chief.”

You can’t see it, but John can sense Kelly’s smirk as she looks over at him and points. “Well, that’s the man himself.”

* Oh no. By the way your wet, moved eyes stare up at him, it seems you’re a fan.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!! You hope your pterodactyl screeching wasn’t external.

“Whoa.” This couldn’t be real. You’d passed out from exhaustion, and were dreaming all of this. That could be the only possibility!

John knows that this is the part where he says something witty or inspiring… but he really doesn’t know what to say, so he just awkwardly clears his throat. “Are you hurt?”

You shake your head violently, a burning need to not disappoint your childhood hero, and clamber up to your feet… only to wince and lean against the wall, something sticky on your leg.

Now that you’re standing, he can see the dried blood around your ankle. “Hold still!” All the softness is gone from Kelly’s tone as she works on bandaging you up, but you don’t mind, appreciating how careful she’s being.

Co-ordinating with Linda, who informs him that there are patrols scouting the areas — probably only to get any survivors, and not to catch them, but they should still move — and Fred, who tells him that the convoy is flying off-planet via Pelicans in half an hour, John makes some quick calculations.

With the pace you’d set, hobbling alongside Kelly, whimpering every time you put your weight on your left foot, it would take them at least an hour. Too long.

“Whoa…” The sound comes unbidden from Fred when Kelly emerges, with you clutching at her hip, all bloody and dirty. A pang of sympathy strikes as he looks around and realizes all that you must have seen. He was well aware that normal children weren’t nearly as resilient as he and his siblings had been.

“….” He stays silent as you arrive in front of him, staring up at him with slight apprehension, heart racing as he tries to think of something to say — and for some reason, he lands on an awkward, weirdly Southern-sounding. “Hey champ!”

John and Kelly both shoot him weird looks, and he wants to dig a hole and die, when they hear it.

A small giggle falls from your lips, tiny hands covering your mouth as you try not to laugh. Fred sighs in relief, but his anxiety returns when Kelly’s joking voice comes over the comms saying “Well, I guess we know who’s taking care of them.”

Linda drops out of nowhere, and nearly scares you to death as you shriek and bump into John, holding his leg tightly. You don’t really notice how he freezes, confused again.

“…sorry.” She doesn’t sound sorry, you think with a pout and drop from Chief’s leg, careful of your own busted ankle.

“That’s Linda, that’s Fred and I’m Kelly. You can just call him Chief. What’s your name?”

“Y-Y/N.”

“Alright. We won’t be able to make it if you’re walking, so you need to get on one of our backs.” Chief tells you, straight to business. “Which one of us do you feel comfortable with?”

He’s really hoping you pick Kelly or Fred. It wouldn’t exactly be a burden, you’re much tinier than the full grown people he’s had to carry out of a war zone, and you’re handling it much better as well, even though you’re barely ten years old.

“Um…” You look shyly up at Fred. “If you don’t really mind…”

*Aw. That’s… actually kind of sweet. Fred beckons you over, and hoists you up between his shoulders, giving you the rundown on what to do if people start shooting, and to hold on tight when he tells you to.

*You’re much more considerate than the freaked out VIPs he’s had to extract. But he still feels you twitch every time the wind causes something to clatter, so he decides to strike up conversation.

“So how did you wind up there?” It’s not until afterwards that he realizes that, unlike soldiers, civilians aren’t comfortable discussing stuff like that. But you answer that it was your dad’s factory, explaining that it was Bring Your Kid To Work Day.

The Spartans, specifically Kelly, asked you questions about it, having never heard of it themselves. After all, military settings rarely allowed such breaches of protocol.

You only trailed off as you got to the part where he told you to hide, and Fred lets it be.

When you finally get to the convoy, a nurse hurriedly tries to pull you away from the Spartans to help out, apologizing for not doing it sooner when Fred tells her it’s fine and that you can stay. After all, Kelly had fixed you up well, and you seemed terrified at the prospect of being left alone.

All that was left to do was fly up to the ship in outer orbit, with the rest of the survivors. Since there were such few Pelicans, everyone had been crammed into them, military and civilians alike. You’d simply wandered onto the one they’d been on, sandwiched between Chief and Fred.

Chief watches you picking at your shorts, and suddenly remembers the chocolate bar Sgt. Johnson keeps giving him - “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry, Chief” He’d snicker and then leave, Chief just standing there, not understanding the reference - but hey, chocolate was chocolate.

“Here. You did well.” Your eyes go wide, and for a second he thinks you’re going to refuse, but then you snatch it out of his hand and snarf it down. This is how it must feel to watch him eat.

“You’re going to like it up there.” Fred chimes in when your gaze starts getting distant again. “Space is really cool.”

In a twist of fate, you find one of your best friends when you arrive on the ship. Their parents promise to take care of you, and thank the Spartans.

When they start directing the survivors to their quarters, you hug every Spartan, even Linda… or their legs, since you couldn’t reach anything else. (Thankfully, you telegraph it pretty well, so they don’t accidentally smack you or something.)

John just stiffens and then nods, Fred pats you on the head awkwardly and shuffles away (he was very shocked by the affection), Kelly laughs and claps you on the shoulder, and Linda just hums and pets you on the head like a dog, walking away afterwards.

You go on to be a Marine yourself, finding yourself on the Halo campaign, where Chief and Cortana save you once more. You’re surprised he still remembers you.

You leave a bar of the same brand he gave you at his shrine, giving a heartfelt eulogy and catching up momentarily with the other members of Blue Team before you all leave again.

You almost faint when he shows up at Requiem, though. Don’t feel bad, as Lasky fanboys behind Chief for the whole campaign.

Palmer corrals you and Lasky into a break room to make fun of your behavior after it’s all over.

[captnjacksparrow]

if you had to rank your fav naruto characters how would it go? love your blog btw!!

Hmmm... Complicated ask, anon.😂

[My personal life would be splashed here and there. Please bear with me]

Before 5 months, if you asked me about Naruto, my response would be ‘What the fuck is that?’. I absolutely had no idea such a treasure existed. For me, it started out like a blockbuster movie for the sheer variety of fights and the resulting emotions it brought within me. 

However, there was a point I stopped and thought, ‘Wait a fucking second. This resembles my family dynamics. This person is speaking the exact same lines I spoke to my parents few years ago. This person’s situation resembles mine. Did this creator a time traveler?’. Naruto is the only piece of media that gave me such feel. Am not even exaggerating, believe me. 

I really liked so many characters very much but am going to try my best to list just 10. 

The only characters I hate in this series are Danzo, Sakura and Hinata in no particular order. Meaning, I absolutely cannot see any positives in them. They are crassy, cringey and completely detestable.

FAVOURITE NARUTO CHARACTERS

10. Killer Bee

HaHaHa :-) Just seeing this character makes me smile and light-hearted.

It’s a pity that he is the only character who don’t belong to Konoha in my Top 10 rankings who was developed well apart from Gaara.

I loved him from Frame 1 onwards and I sincerely wished Team Taka should be packed up with their ass beaten up mercilessly. And that’s what happened.

Despite being a Jinchurikki, he never bothered to mind his surroundings and filled his heart with love from his over protective Brother alone was nice to watch.

He makes a great Tag Partner with Naruto next to Sasuke. No doubt.

The way Killer Bee treated Team Taka like some annoying flies and his cool and don’t care attitude was top notch. It’s not just with Sasuke, Bee treated Naruto with the same IDGAF attitude at first.

Best Moments:

Lariat punch to Sasuke (TBH, Sasuke deserved it. LOL)

Blasted off every member of Team Taka like a doll

His entire conversation and fight sequence with Kisame (Their banters and exchanges are way too hilarious)

His dynamics with his Elder Brother (God!!!! Whenever Raikage gives him an Iron Claw.... What a hilarious duo!!!!)

9. Hatake Kakashi

Kakashi was my most favourite character when I started the series for simply being ultra-cool with the way he conducted the Bell-Test and taught a valuable lesson for those bratty kids in Team 7 called ‘Team Work’. 

Best Moments:

Kakashi vs Obito Hand-to-Hand Combat (the best in the series)

Kakashi in the Gaara retrieval arc (His fight with Itachi & Deidara gave a good start to the shippuden series. His Mangekyou reveal was surprising).

Kakashi & Guy teaming up with Naruto to reveal Obito in a twisty and tragic way. (Kakashi couldn’t handle the truth at all and neither did I)

Kakashi vs Zabuza (That’s when I realized that the series was getting real serious)

8. Jiraiya

Jiraiya was my next favourite to Kakashi during my Part 1 days. His open perversion and his entire dynamics with Naruto was one of the best things during the Chunin Exams arc. Taught Naruto about Chakra Control and about the way of a shinobi by just enduring. Naruto follows this even today.

Best Moments: 

Kuchiyose No Jutsu training (Man, I never expected him to push Naruto off the cliff)

Rasengan Training (One of the best arcs in part 1 and it was soo satisfying to see Naruto punching his first Rasengan on Kabuto, He also acted like a quasi parent to Naruto... heartwarming)

Jiraiya Vs Six paths of Pain ( 6 vs 1 was always doomed but still he had the guts of a shinobi and plunged ahead)

7. Uchiha Madara

Geez. What is there to not like him?? 

Everything he did was absolutely wrong ever since he broke up with Hashirama in a romantic way much similar to how couples break up in my country.

I am an Uchiha. You are a Senju. I wish it had been different.

This roughly translates to how 75% of lovers break up and marry someone else from their own clan in my state. (Duh!!!)

I am from XXX clan, you are from XXX clan. So we can’t love each other and my parents won’t accept this relationship. So let’s break up.

Alright, my first shipping couple in this series is HashiMada for this exact reason. (I started shipping SNS only after episode 478). 

Just like Hashirama, Madara had an extensive build up right from episode 1 where Kurama compares Sasuke with Madara. And flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi spiked my curiosity and I wanted to see his face so badly ever since.

But the moment he landed gracefully like a diva in episode 321.... Woaahhhh!!!! He literally danced in the battlefield and ate up 100′s of guys with just a fucking Sharingan. 

Best Moments:

Going Shirtless before 1000′s of people with Hashirama’s face, no less (Well, I literally went heart-eyed for 5 minutes. Sorry Sasuke, your ancester was way much sexier than you in the Orochimaru hideout and beats you by a million points).

Screaming Hashirama’s name like a cockatoo for 300 times even till the very end (Sorry Naruto, your obsession towards Sasuke for about 6 arcs is pale in comparison to Madara’s obsession which was established in just 6 or 7 episodes.)

I have 25 clones now. Do you want me to put Susanoo or not? You can’t answer. The answer is yes. (Man, his I don’t give a fuck attitude is just an alien level thing)

Openly admitting Only Hashirama Can Beat Me (Say what you will about Sasuke, Madara has no qualms about accepting his inferiority in terms of power. An absolute Straight Forward diva-queen)

Awakening Sharingan for breaking up with his ‘friend’ rather than for his 3 dead brothers. (Geez, Poor Soul. He is the forefather of a Romantic Uchiha. That romantic blood still flows in Sasuke)

6. Senju Hashirama

Man, I would have placed him somewhere in top 5 if only he was introduced early or had more scenes. I started watching Naruto only because of this very name. There is a local podcaster in my state who goes under the alias of Senju Hashirama and in his podcasts, he hinted about this character and how he was inspired by his ideals. I just googled and saw that this character belonged to Naruto series and I considered watching it. Here I am, making analysis on that very series.

There was this excellent build up for him right when we got introduced to Captain Yamato. He was constantly referred in flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi especially.

But the moment he was reanimated again..... Geez..... It was an hilarious ride all throughout. Out of all the flashbacks we got from this series, Founders Era flashback was my absolute favourite.

From where I come from, we are still under the stupid influence of Clan infrastructure and are not growing up in many aspects like people in western countries do. For me, I hope, one day, someone like Senju Hashirama appears in our state and change our lives for better by uniting all clans as one and treats everyone equally without the shitty favouritism for their own children, friends, parents, siblings.

That’s why this dialogue struck a thunder in my heart

“Be they a friend.... Be they a sibling.... Be it even my own child. I will not forgive anyone who threatens the village.”

Because the clan leaders in our place are absolutely selfish, trash bastards who serves their own needs with no regards for other people from other clans. For a person like me, Hashirama is not just a fictional hero, he is someone who many aspires to become. No wonder that podcaster chose this name as his alias.

He rightfully deserved the title ‘God of Shinobi’. And no one can surpass him, not even Naruto.

Best Moments:

Wood Style vs Eternal Mangekyou sharingan + Kurama powered Madara (He just beats Madara’s ass by a wide margin. This shows he was a whole fucking different level than Naruto + Sasuke combined. In terms of strength, nobody surpassed him YET. Sorry Naruto and Sasuke, you guys are no match even now with your Rinnegan and Kurama lost forever).

His entire banters with Madara (ROFLLLL. Without him, it would have been just another lifeless arc.)

5. Senju Tobirama

Hmmm, let me tell you something about him.

First off, he is not a racist or fascist as many hardcore Sasuke fanatics claims. He is one of the best hokages according to me. He is abso-fucking-lutely practical, rational, logical and holds no grudge. And Sasuke resembles Tobirama with all these characteristics as compared to soft and naive Naruto. If only he had more screen time, he would be easily in my top 3. 

Just because he didn’t lick the boots of Uchiha (many people’s favorite clan or may I say the only clan that was given any shit about in this series), it doesn’t make him a racist or fascist.

No, he never persecuted the Uchihas. Danzo, the crass bastard, driven off the Uchihas only after the Kyuubi incident. It was explicitly mentioned in the databook and was clearly explained in the series. 

He literally gave the highest position in the village for the entire clan. That is, a military power inside a military village. ‘Shinobi who can cause crimes can only be stopped by shinobi who are even better’. In my state, if a powerful clan decided to persecute another clan, they simply start by cutting off basic amenities like Water and Electricity. Compared to what I’ve seen, Tobirama did nothing but given the Uchihas, the highest position in their village. 

Orochimaru only said giving such a power made them conceited (arrogant). Tobirama had a trusted subordinate called Kagami, an Uchiha in his team. He suggested Kabuto to help Sasuke and even teleported him on his request. He even spited Madara for killing Sasuke, an Uchiha. He openly claimed Uchiha clan exceeds Senju in terms of Love. He openly appreciated Itachi and Kagami as someone who sees beyond their clan. In what world, would a racist or fascist do all this for a clan he hates??? 

Yes, he was cautious of Sasuke at first because he saw him with Orochimaru and even went full-on battle mode because of Sasuke’s carefree threat to destroy the village. But once he decided to go to the battlefield to fight Madara, he simply forgot everything that happened before and started to work with him as a comrade, and even helped him twice. In which world, a racist or fascist behave this way?

Believe me, a person like me who was grown with these clan politics surely can say who is a fascist. He was not. He was just cautious of them because of their ability to attain superpowers with just emotions alone. Let me ask you all this, ‘Would you be okay with people getting crazy powers whenever they are depressed?’. Being cautious is not racism. It really disrespects people who faced real oppression under fascism.

What Madara and Danzo did was a classical example of fascism. 

And No, Izuna didn’t die only because of Tobirama. He died because Madara was too arrogant to instigate war with Senju clan. And this was way before forming Konoha. If Tobirama killed Izuna after the alliance between Uchiha and Senju, I would agree that he was a racist. Izuna lost his life just like any other Uchiha and Senju soldiers in that battlefield. 

Just because he shitted your beloved ‘Sasuke-Kun’ doesn’t mean he is a racist too. Tobirama saw Sasuke along with that scoundrel Orochimaru who once used this very two hokages to destroy the very village they strived hard to create and protect. What will you do, if you were in his place?? Please don’t lie and say ‘I wouldn’t be judgemental’. 

And Imagine you are Tobirama, Sasuke is threatening to commit genocide against the entire village who had no idea about this coup detat instead of going against those old hags. Will you sit quiet as a Hokage?? 

He was the first person to suggest his brother, Itama, that Revenge against Uchihas are futile. All we need is an agreement to make truce. That gave the idea for Hashirama to pursue his dream. And Tobirama was happy to follow that dream and very supportive. 

It’s because of all these reasons I placed him above Senju Hashirama.

Best Moments:

Amazing power display against Sasuke & Co with just an index finger (It was a pleasure to see everyone’s face trembling with mild sweat including Sasuke).

Acted as a decoy to save his young subordinates. (The way he sacrificed his life saying young wills of fire must be protected is just Woow!! I wish his subordinates listened to his words and passed the mantle to the younger ones rather than playing game at such an old age and screwed up many lives. Pfft!!!)

Any time he says ‘Shut Up’ to Hashirama (ROFL)

His absolute ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude to Naruto, Sasuke, Hashirama, Minato and Madara (He trolled them all mercilessly and I love it)

4. Senju Tsunade

It hurts me to say that Tsunade is the only female character in my list because every other female characters were written in a much more piss poorly way. Only Konan came close to Tsunade but her role was very short. 

Despite her character’s purpose revolved around another male character (Dan) and a blatant objectification of her breasts, I liked everything about her other than those mentioned above. 

She is the Second Best Hokage who took Konoha right after the destruction made by Orochimaru, excellently handled the aftermath by making friendly relations with Suna (Sand village), provided her best medical support to Konoha in the Pain Arc and successfully handled the fourth Shinobi world war. 

She is such a badass who developed her own original jutsu called Byakugou no Jutsu, which can heal herself. 

She is just way too amazing and it’s a pity that we got very less scenes in Shippuden.

Best Moments:

Took 25+ stabs from Madara’s Susanoo like a piece of cake (Man, I simply couldn’t describe that scene. All the other Kages were shocked and even Madara too)

Lifted her advisors like a cabbage sack (Those fucking old hags deserved it. Those shits should’ve died)

Her index finger flick assault on Naruto (Aww, Naruto was definitely bratty in his first meeting and Tsunade didn’t hold back at all)

Played Orochimaru like a basketball (In that same arc, she fought Orochimaru mercilessly like a devil left and right. Someone who claimed to have surpassed Tsunade never even dared to fight Orochimaru’s student and crying for his attention after just receiving one stab from Madara. Just saying)

3. Uzumaki Naruto

Naruto is the titular character and your emotions evolve along with him. He surely deserves a spot in Top 3. The only reason I didn’t place Naruto even more higher is because he didn’t experience something very important which many characters in this list faced. That is, Losing a loved one before his eyes. Every villain in this series became what they are because they lost someone important before their eyes like Nagato, Obito. (Nope, I don’t count Neji as his loved one). I think this tests the mettle of any character and Naruto failed to experience this. The only person he ever lost was Jiraiya and that too from off-screen. That’s why I felt his journey to his dreams seemed little easier compared to the rest of the characters.

His best block of episodes will always be the part 1 Episode 1, 2, 3. Episode 1 is the character defining episode for Naruto and what he learned there will be applied everywhere till the very end of the series. He learned 3 things

Forgiveness, Empathy and Acceptance

Talk-No-Jutsu

Kage Bunshin no Jutsu

From then on, this boy wins many friends to his side, not only from Konoha but from other villages too and even made them to acknowledge his strength only through his sheer hard work. 

However, there is this person, whose acknowledgement he wants the most.  That person is his most important bond along with Iruka Sensei. He is none other than Sasuke. One day, Sasuke left him alone for some unavoidable reason at the end of part 1 which left a huge scar in him and he vows to bring him back to the place where he belongs. That becomes his ultimate goal rather than becoming an Hokage.

The way he goes to any extent to protect the people he cares about is just simply entertaining to watch.

Every time he makes an heroic entry to save the day was never boring, not once. 

Best Moments:

Sobbing from his heart after hearing Iruka Sensei acknowledging him (It just makes me feel heavy for no reason. The anime team did an awesome job to capture his emotions convincingly)

Awakening Kyuubi Mode for the first time after seeing Sasuke die in his arms (Man, out of all the collective hatred he got from the villagers, this moment affected him a lot speaks volumes)

Punching Neji from the underground to win the Chunin exams (God, I honestly believed Naruto lost but he just surprised us heavily from nowhere. And that failure speech was just pure bliss to watch even today)

Pain Vs Naruto (One of the best arc for Naruto. Because unlike other arcs, where Naruto fought with a team, this arc he was all alone fighting a person with Rinnegan. Be it the exuberant landing from the frogs with a dramatic kabuki music, creating multi-step attacks, coming up with novel solution in that difficult situation, finally ending the conflict without killing the enemy, becoming an hero. Superb journey. The only thing I didn’t like in that arc is some shitty selfish proposal. PUKE!!)

Bearing the burdens of his most important person and die along with him (This boy always shouts he will never die until he becomes an Hokage. But for Sasuke, he was ready to die along with him in order to not leave him alone proves how much he loves him. This shows his emotional maturity rather than shouting at Sasuke like he always did before which never reached his ears. This time it did)

Final Good Bye to Minato (Honestly, I was bawling just like Naruto in that scene no matter how many times I watch it. It started out slow but as he speaks more and more, he simply couldn’t hold back and wept a sea of tears 😭😭😭)

2. Uchiha Sasuke

One of the well written characters in this series, with all the flaws and positive stuffs which makes him more of an Anti-Hero. He always subverts my preformed opinions and never ceased to surprise me.

Despite being aloof and cold, his warmer side will always be exposed towards Naruto. This is evident by many things he had done for Naruto which he don’t have to or no reason to. Starting right from roasting Sakura, offering lunch, asking for tips, enquiring about breakfast, protecting him many times and dying for Naruto. 

Why I placed him above Naruto is because of his unavoidable decision to tread in a complicated dark path primarily due to the trauma he carried and was stirred up again by collective factors such as Orochimaru’s cursed seal, Itachi’s arrival and Naruto’s growth. Compared to Sasuke, Naruto had an easier path because he never saw anyone die before his eyes and hence he don’t carry any trauma which can divert his path.

Even after watching his entire clan and family members murdered before his eyes at an age 8, he managed to pull himself and never snapped out like many other good characters does. But the moment when he found out that Itachi was good all along, he simply couldn’t tolerate the truth and gave himself to Vengeance. Because, he loved his brother more than he hated him all these years. This shows he loved his brother more than his parents. His resolve to destroy Konoha was perfectly understandable. But is it good? Nope. He can kill Danzo and those old hags but killing other people was never justifiable.

But still, his resolve to have his vengeance was diverted by Naruto and weakened by Itachi, at some point. So, he decided to know the truth and when he heard it, he understood the Hokages also sacrificed many precious things to protect this village just like his Brother Itachi. He understood the mistakes of his clan and decided to protect the village which he swore to destroy. [Many Sasuke fanatics think that he succumbed to the Government and Kishi wrote Sasuke to bootlick them. Their idea was to tackle genocide with another genocide. What a stupid idea!!!!]

And No, I don’t consider him trying to kill Sakura, Karin and Kakashi as his bad moments (though I feel bad for Karin). For the simple reason being, he became a monster by losing himself in the darkness who lost the rationality to differentiate friends from foes. Much similar to how Naruto lost himself to Kyuubi’s hatred against Orochimaru and in Pain Arc. It’s so hypocritical to ignore Naruto and accuse Sasuke here. Plus, Sakura had no business to be there otherwise Sasuke would not have tried to kill her. 

But does it mean Sasuke did nothing wrong???

Nope.

He definitely shouldn’t have joined Akatsuki and hunted Killer Bee like an animal. Because, he knew that Tobi was the one who helped Itachi massacre the clan. When fighting Itachi he specifically vowed to kill Madara (Tobi). On top of that, Itachi passed on Amaterasu in his eyes specifically to stay away from Tobi. Why did he ally with him? Plus, Sasuke was one of the few characters who was exposed to the name ‘Akatsuki’ in part 1 itself. He clearly knew that this organization targets Naruto, his closest bond. Why did he join there? This is where the stupid part of Sasuke came out. I was grunting... ‘Oii Where did that clever Sasuke, who faced 1000 soldiers without killing any of them, went??’. 

And his plan for Revolution???? I thought it would be reasonable. But his vision was eerily similar to Danzo’s vision. Grrr..... Danzo also wanted to create his ideal village by destroying the current Hokage. He wanted to unite the Five Village and put himself on top of everyone as evident from the Kage Summit arc. 

I appreciate him that he finally adopted the Will of Fire, by wanting to protect the village at all costs just like Itachi and Hashirama did. But his methods are not very democratic. Plus, he wanted to do it alone. I was screaming at him... ‘Grrr, Sasuke, did you listen to Itachi at all???. He failed because he did everything alone. Why can’t you understand????’ This is also another instance, Sasuke’s stupidity glanced out.

I am happy Naruto knocked some sense into him by telling him not to do it alone but together.

Many fanatics also ask, ‘What did Sasuke do wrong to atone for his sins at the end?’.

I was like ‘Reallly????’

He joined Akatsuki, an organization which terrorized all the 5 villages and he hunted someone like an international criminal.

He spoiled the Kage Summit and attacked Raikage who lost his arm because of him. I know what happened over there is not Sasuke’s fault. But these are the kages who was loved by many people in their own villages. How can the world forget it and simply let him go?

It’s exactly because of all those lovely stuffs he did in Part 1 and all these mistakes he did in Part 2 but willing to correct his mistakes by sharing the burdens of his other half in the end made him more interesting, complicated and exciting and that’s why I love this character.

I also have a personal bias to love this character sooo much because of the character on top of my list.

Best Moments:

Defending Naruto before Sakura (Awww!!! Such a good boy he was. Eventhough I thought he was a typical arrogant K-Drama hero, he just subverted my opinion in that one scene. I always have a thing for people who stands up for someone even though they don’t have to. This is where I started to like Sasuke)

My body moved on its own. (Is there anything that trumps this scene in terms of emotions and love in this series?. This moment is where I understood the depth of Sasuke’s emotions towards Naruto).

What is a Clan? What is a Village? What is a Shinobi? (I was really hoping for Sasuke to question himself something similar to this. Because he was so self-absorbed in his hatred and failed to look outside him ever since he left the village. It was so gratifying that he did that)

Killing Orochimaru (I always thought Sasuke will kill him only after he tries to take over the body. Never imagined that he will strike the snake first)

Killing Danzo (Man, what an amazing battle!!!. It was so gratifying to see such a crass bastard die many times over and over).

His dramatic confession through his monologue (After the mystery of Who is this Tobi, Sasuke’s obsession towards Naruto remained a mystery for me. Why did he listen to Naruto under the bridge? Why did he protected Naruto in the War? I got the answer only after this confession. It was so heartwarming to see this mellow side of Sasuke)

1. Uchiha Itachi

I could write pages about him. The foremost reason I like Itachi and earns the top spot in my rankings is because he shockingly resembled me in many ways. As I already said, I come from a place where clan politics plays a major role and when I see Sasuke’s flashback in part 1, I was simply dumbstruck by such a detailed similarities.

Elder child of the family - ✅

Have an adorable younger sister who loves me more than my parents - ✅

Same age gap (5 years) with my sister as Itachi and Sasuke - ✅

Parents paying total attention on me while ignoring my sister completely - ✅

Parents constantly comparing my achievements with my sister - ✅

A sister who bear hugged me every time I entered the home after returning from my school - ✅

Despite my mom being a teacher, my sister always prefers me to teach her stuffs as she considers me to be way too better than my mom -  ✅

Love my sister more than my parents - ✅

Clan-Obsessed parents - ✅

Used me as a tool for the benefit of the clan - ✅

Sending another person from my clan to spy on me - ✅

Strained relationship with my parents - ✅

Disgusted with my clan - ✅

Most importantly, this dialogue from part 1 episode 129,

Clan? Clan?

Obsessed with the organization, Obsessed with the clan, Obsessed with the name, that’s merely the detestable action that restrict yourself.

I have given up all hope in this worthless clan

Because, people obsess themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important.

A real change cannot occur under restraints and controls

I confronted my parents with the exact same dialogue (almost 98% similar) in my own native language some years ago. 

I didn’t even know the existence of Naruto series at that time. I was simply shell-shocked by all these similarities with this character. 

And Yes, The moment I heard these dialogues, I knew Itachi, was a good guy, who had a very strong reason for his actions and I instantly knew Sasuke’s revenge will not bear him any happiness. 

It is exactly because of all these striking similarities of myself with Itachi, and my lil’l sister with Sasuke, my family dynamics with the Uchiha family.... I could understand the magnitude of Sasuke’s love towards Itachi. 

And precisely because of that, I could understand Sasuke’s love towards Naruto is not fucking ‘brotherly’ one but something that leans towards Attraction. 

No wonder, Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s care. 

Anyways to speak objectively, 

Itachi is an extremely self-sacrificial person whose life is full of pain and miseries but never blames it on the world unlike other Uchiha members like Madara, Obito and Sasuke to an extent.

He did things considering the bigger picture which never benefitted himself in anyway and was willing to go to any extent even at the expense of his own family and his brother’s happiness. That is, Uchiha Clan Massacre and Joining Akatsuki. None of this benefitted him in anyways but he did it anyway, for the village of Konoha. 

His ideals are shockingly similar to Hashirama, Which Sasuke pointed this out and Hashirama acknowledged that Itachi was a better shinobi than he was. ❤️❤️❤️

Now, does this means I support Uchiha clan massacre?

No way. Even Itachi didn’t.

This massacre happened because of the huge clusterfuck from Hiruzen’s incompetence, Danzo’s paranoid arrogance, Uchiha clan’s devious plan to over throw the government by force rather than approaching it in a peaceful way, say, a peace talk or a protest. 

All these people acted on their own self-interest. Itachi and Shisui caught in their whirlpool, bear their burdens and paid for it with their life. Sasuke suffered for it.

But, it’s not the only reason I love this character. It’s because, the moment he decided to massacre everyone, he marked his own death by the hands of his beloved brother. I love people who owns up their mistakes and face the consequences rather than making excuses (even though it’s not entirely his mistake).

Itachi is also the only character in this series who realized his failures on his own without anyone’s interference or Naruto’s Talk-No-Jutsu. 

And he apologized for everything he did to Sasuke.

Again, some hardcore Sasuke fanatics criticize/hate him for torturing their poor ‘Sasuke-Kun’ with his Tsukuyomi. I was like ‘Hmmm...What?’. 

First off, Itachi apologized to Sasuke for not thinking out from his point of view and also for not telling him the truth earlier.

Second off, Sasuke never even blamed Itachi for anything (even he didn’t hold him for killing their parents). If Sasuke himself, forgiven Itachi... Why are his fans being so rabid?

Third off, for all of his supposed ‘crimes’, he paid for it by dying as a disgraceful Madman rather than a Hero who really saved the village. He is someone who should be celebrated like Naruto but instead died proudly as a Traitor of Konoha.

All in all, One of the wonderfully written character I have ever seen in the media. 

Best Moments:

Itachi vs Sasuke (That battle was a pure brilliance and highly emotional especially after knowing the truth. When Sasuke released his Kirin, Itachi showed off his ultimate armour Susanoo like a badass. Seeing Susanoo for the first time gave me chills. No, Sasuke didn’t kill him. Itachi died on his own)

Itachi vs Orochimaru (Man, Itachi may look mellow but when it comes to Orochimaru he is a pure Sass. He screwed that snake up both the times by a wide margin. It seems Uchiha brothers like to fuck up Orochimaru, LOL)

Talk-No-Jutsu’ing Naruto (Geez, Naruto was being completely bratty and was full of saviour complex like he was going to bear everyone’s hatred by himself. I was almost annoyed. Thanks to Itachi, he realised. Probably he is the only character to shut Naruto using his own jutsu)

Izanami’ing Kabuto (Other than Naruto, he is the only character to go out of his way to empathize with a villain and put extreme effort to change him. I think this is why Sasuke loves Naruto, for seeing these similarities??? ).

Goodbye to Sasuke (The first time when he said ‘Forgive me, Sasuke. This is the last’ by poking his forehead and finally closing the distance by butting with Sasuke’s head softly saying ‘I will love you always’.... It always evokes uncontrollable tears in me, no matter how many times I watch it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

HONOURABLE MENTION

Uchiha Obito

God, Am such a sucker for Uchiha guys individually, though collectively as a clan they fucked up big time. I simply couldn’t find the place for him in the top 10. He is a classic example of What Naruto will be like if he becomes a villain?

However, all those horrible stuffs he did just for a girl whom he had a crush on which was never reciprocated seems childish. That’s why I couldn’t put him in Top 10.

And his understandable but weird obsession on Naruto was always enjoyable to watch. 

One cute thing I liked about him was, whatever criminal stuffs he may have done, he was never a cheapskate though. He had every chance to take back Kakashi’s Sharingan to activate his own Susanoo. But he never even thought of such an idea. He was a bad guy. But a good friend, no matter what. 

Pure Baby!!! But lost his way!!!

Best Moments:

Importance of Team Work (’In the ninja world, Those who break the rules are  scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum’. This very legacy he left to Kakashi came to defeat him later. And Naruto follows this motto even today)

Sacrificing his Sharingan (’I am giving you my Sharingan. No matter what the villagers say, you are a great Jonin. Please take it’. Awww!!! Obito. He left his Sharingan which helped Kakashi to complete a jutsu called ‘Chidori’, which is a go-to jutsu of Sasuke)

Thanks for the ask, anon. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. ❤️

[bbangsoonie]

just u

member: sunwoo genre: fluff word count: 1,903 synopsis: sunwoo thinks you’re a flirty drunk but doesn’t notice you only flirt with him.

a/n: oc’s facial flush after drinking alcohol is mentioned once in the fic

Eric: giant sleepover at hyunjae’s tonight

Hyunjae: this is news to me ??

Eric: be prepared to pull an all-nighter because we are doing everything from watching movies to playing games to ✨drinking✨

Sangyeon: his house is also my house ???

Eric: y/n, can you pick up some snacks and drinks with sunwoo?

You: sure

Sunwoo: this is news to me as well ?

Eric: see you all at 6! i know no one has classes today and tomorrow’s saturday so i expect full attendance :)

Juyeon: again, our house is not just solely hyunjae’s ???? younghoon and i live here as well ;-;

Eric’s impromptu gathering was in no way organized but he knew everyone would go along with it. Your group of friends consisted of the most spontaneous people you’ve ever met. They were always down for anything, anytime.

That was how you ended up going grocery shopping with Sunwoo and Haknyeon after you stopped by campus for your professor’s office hours. You ran into Haknyeon there who wanted to tag along to make sure you bought his favorite snacks.

“Any requests for chasers?” you called out to the boys who were an aisle away. You scanned the shelves of sodas in front of you, trying to recall who liked what drinks.

“Chasers are for babies,” Haknyeon scoffed as he made his way over to you.

“I’m baby,” you proudly pointed at yourself.

“Are you referring to the Kirby meme right now?” he blinked. When you nodded, he pretended to gag, making you slap his back.

“Do you guys think this is enough alcohol?” Sunwoo arrived with a cart full of bottles. You almost laughed at the amount of cases. Anyone passing by would think you were shopping wholesale. Which honestly didn’t sound like a bad idea for a group of 12.

“Should be,” Haknyeon shrugged, taking over the cart. “Now time for the good stuff!”

You and Sunwoo watched as he threw in bags of chips and jelly into the cart. You only picked out one or two for yourself since Haknyeon was essentially just getting everything. There was a wide variety for you to choose from anyway. Sunwoo had to physically stop him from adding more stuff, insisting that there’d be dinner as well.

With Hyunjae in charge of ordering food, it was no surprise that you walked into his house smelling like chicken. Eric greeted you from the kitchen and you hollered out a “hey” before joining Changmin and Chanhee in the living room. They were in the middle of an intense round of Super Smash Bros and by the looks of it, Changmin was winning. When the game finally ended, Changmin shrieked with laughter while Chanhee dejectedly collapsed onto the sofa.

Jacob and Kevin walked in not long after, exchanging greetings with everyone else. Sangyeon, Juyeon, and Younghoon emerged from the staircase after finishing their assignments upstairs in their own respective rooms. With the whole group together, Eric gathered you all in front of the TV to have a Super Smash Bros tournament.

“Only people who suck at playing games pick Kirby,” he yelled as you picked up a controller.

“I do admit I suck at games and love Kirby,” you stuck your tongue out as you chose your character, making Chanhee groan.

“All you do is spam down b!” Kevin whined.

“Well no one wants to teach me other moves or how to play other characters,” you shrugged.

“I tried,” Hyunjae sighed. “You’re an impossible student.”

“That’s because everyone kills me off while I try to learn!” you huffed.

To your amusement, you won the game by avoiding everyone in the air while they battled amongst themselves. Then you constantly attacked Younghoon with the same move until he eventually died. He screamed in frustration when your victory flashed across the screen.

Unfortunately for you, everyone decided to target you in the beginning for the next round. After easily finishing you off, they enjoyed what they called a “true fight” that Eric ultimately won.

The long night officially began with the mountain of boxes of chicken in the kitchen. It was easily demolished before Changmin won rock, paper, scissors to put a horror movie on. Before the film was even chosen, Sunwoo was complaining about how he hated jump scares.

“Bro just say you’re afraid and move on,” Eric snickered.

“I’m not scared! I just don’t like being surprised,” Sunwoo insisted.

“Pft, if you’re a true man you can watch it,” Chanhee teased, unaware of his embarrassment to come.

The next couple of hours was chaotic. Chanhee screamed at every noise, making everyone else scream as well. Haknyeon and Sunwoo ended up watching the movie with their ears closed and Jacob gave up entirely by trying to nap instead. You had the unfortunate seat next to Younghoon and became his ragdoll that he clung onto and shook every time he got frightened. You didn’t even get to react to the movie because he kept screaming and grabbing onto you.

Eric and his mischievous instincts spent the whole time trying to startle Juyeon who ended up chasing him around until he promised to stop. Changmin, Sangyeon, Hyunjae, and Kevin were the only ones who truly enjoyed the movie.

When the lights came back on, Chanhee and Sunwoo pretended that it wasn’t scary at all. Hyunjae laughed, reminding them of their reactions to which they feigned oblivion to.

“I need a drink,” you groaned. “Younghoon stressed me out more than the ghost did.”

“Everyone go slow and steady,” Eric warned. “I want to be playing until the sun comes up.”

“My body is too old for this,” Sangyeon mumbled as he began taking the alcohol out of the fridge.

“Hey, Y/n, can you pass me a bottle?” Sunwoo asked. You felt your heart skip a beat when his fingers brushed past yours to take the drink from your hands. The exchange made you blush and you quickly took a shot to mask your tinted cheeks with the flush of the liquor.

Spending the night with your friends meant that you would be spending it trying hard to not fall in love with your budding crush. You tried your best to keep a safe distance from him, relying on Chanhee to be your trusty barrier.

After a series of drinking games (that mostly resulted in your loss), you were beginning to feel the effects. With Chanhee and Haknyeon by your side, you were slightly swinging in your seat. You were all sitting on the floor in the spacious living room to start whatever game Hyunjae had suggested. His words had gone in and out of your ears while you were finishing your last punishment drink.

“So basically one person will ask another person a question and that person will say their answer out loud. The answer has to be the name of someone in this room. Those who are curious about the question will drink to hear it,” Hyunjae explained.

“Can I go first?” Kevin excitedly asked. With the majority agreeing, he happily went up to Jacob to whisper in his ear.

After hearing his question, Jacob thought for a second before saying your name. The boys teasingly “ooh”ed, making you roll your eyes. Sunwoo, Eric, and Changmin were the only ones curious enough to drink for the answer.

“Aw, Y/n, you don’t wanna know why he picked you?” Kevin pouted.

“By the look on your face, I think I get the gist,” you chuckled. “Any questions involving girls only leaves me as an option. And to be brutally honest, I don’t really care what he thinks of me.”

Jacob, faking pain, clutched his heart.

“Ouch,” he joked.

Jacob asked his question to Younghoon, who answered with your name again. This time, you were slightly intrigued.

“Me again for the second time in a row? Now I’m kinda curious,” you pretended to think hard.

Eric drank again and eagerly asked for Jacob’s question. Trying to elicit a response from you, he acted shocked and grabbed Younghoon by the collar. Laughing, you gave in and drank to hear the question.

“He thinks you’re gonna be the first to get cuffed,” Jacob whispered to you.

“Ah, unfortunately no,” you shook your head at Younghoon, sitting back down.

This time, Younghoon asked you a question. He asked who you would date if you had to choose from the friend group.

“Sunwoo,” you said almost immediately. His jaw dropped at how fast you made your decision and he gave you a smug look.

Again, Eric couldn’t hide his curiosity. His reaction made the rest of them interested and everyone ended up drinking to find out what Younghoon had asked you. Hyunjae hooted but the alcohol in your system left you unphased by all their teasing.

After their excitement died down, the game continued until each person had a turn. It ended with Eric drunk crying thanks to Juyeon picking him as his most cherished friend. Seeing him cry made Sunwoo cry as well and Changmin was having a blast laughing at them both.

Not wanting Sunwoo to also turn into a crying drunk, Sangyeon took his cup away from him. He reminded him to keep his pace, prompting him to sulk. As soon as Sangyeon looked away, however, Sunwoo stole it back and downed the rest of his drink.

“Sunwoo, no,” Sangyeon groaned.

“Sunwoo yes!” Sunwoo exclaimed with glee.

The group then split off into subgroups to take a break from drinking. You, Younghoon, Juyeon, Changmin, Sunwoo, and Eric propped a phone up to make TikToks together. Meanwhile, the rest of the boys were just chilling on the couch, laughing as they watched you embarrass yourselves.

Subconsciously, you ended up with your arm wrapped around Sunwoo’s neck for most of the stupid 15 second video. You honestly weren’t sure what you were filming or why you were so close to your crush but you were having too much fun to care.

Chanhee, on the other hand, definitely noticed. He smirked as you rested your head on Sunwoo’s lap and Sunwoo’s face reddened. He nudged Jacob to point it out and made fun of how oblivious you two were.

Before reconvening, you stepped outside to get some fresh air. When you didn’t return after 10 minutes, Sunwoo was sent to retrieve you. You lit up seeing him join you on the veranda and beckoned for him to sit down next to you.

“It’s cold out here,” he said. “Let’s go back in.”

“So then you should hold my hand to keep me warm,” you giggled, holding out your hand.

“You’re drunk,” he commented as he raised an eyebrow.

“Drunk on you,” you winked, making him shyly look away. He cleared his throat to rid himself of the awkward tension between you.

“You know, you’re a flirty drunk,” he mused.

“Only to you,” you shrugged. “Haven’t you ever heard of drunk actions reflecting sober thoughts?”

Taken aback, he stared at you in silence. You pouted at his lack of response and got up to go back inside. Before you could open the door, he finally spoke up.

“I’ll think about it if your sober actions reflect your drunk thoughts,” he said.

“Really?” you beamed.

“As long as your drunk self is only flirty with me,” he teased.

“Oh please, have you ever seen me like this with the other guys?” you laughed. “I only like you. Just you.”

[luna-rainbow]

Made the mistake of going into Sam’s tag and…gosh I really wish people can see that it’s the script’s fault for screwing up the exchanges between Sam and Bucky. It’s not Bucky owes Sam an apology, or Sam owes Bucky an apology, but that the script has made them equally tone deaf for their partner’s respective traumas in a way that belies disbelief.

I even saw someone say “Bucky never asked Sam why he gave up the shield he can’t even ask a simple question the whole series”.

Bucky did. Episode 2 counselling scene. Bucky literally said, “Why did you give up that shield.” That was literally the start of the emotional part of the conversation.

What did Sam say? “Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?”

And here on out I’m going to raze out Spellman again, so stop reading if that’s not your thing.

The idea that Sam would think this has nothing to do with Bucky, if we are to believe that Bucky’s anchor to Steve is the shield, is unbelievable. Sam had just given a 10 minute speech in episode 1 about what Steve had made the shield to represent. Sam himself saw the shield as representative of what Steve embodied - “symbols are nothing without the men and women that give them meaning”. The idea that empathetic Sam couldn’t understand that someone so socially isolated would see the last action of the person they lost as deeply personal…is out of character at best.

I’m going to have to dig up that post again but the script then fails to give Sam a voice, either here where Bucky directly asks him the question, or earlier when Rhodes asks why he didn’t “take up the mantle”. Sam is made to shut down the question both times, when it’s the perfect time for the audience to hear Sam’s internal world, presumably because the scriptwriter doesn’t know how to write an articulate answer.

The next time they talk about the shield was on the way back from Madripoor. Sam is feeling sorry for Sharon, who is nicely set up in her million dollar mansion, and says, “How many people need to be steamrolled for a hunk of metal.” It’s mind-boggling that the script does not see the irony of this when “the person steamrolled for a hunk of metal” has set up her own steamrolling operation by selling intelligence and blackmailing teenagers.

Bucky then tries to point out that the hunk of metal has meaning to different people, presumably referring to himself. Sam again shuts down the conversation by saying he should have put it in the ocean.

All their exchanges about the shield was hostile because the script has artificially made it to be. There is no reason that Bucky, who followed Steve as “the kid from Brooklyn” should care so much about the shield that Steve dropped twice for his sake. There is also no reason why Sam, who in the few times he’s allowed to emote in this script, who actually looked pained about the shield both in episode 1 and 5, would be so dismissive of Bucky’s insistence on retrieving the shield.

The entire argument about the shield was superficial, unwieldy, and completely ignores both Sam and Bucky’s histories with Steve and the shield. The argument really should have been over the serum, as people have pointed out, as that is intimately linked with Steve, Isaiah and Bucky, ties in with both eugenics and Zemo’s odd lectures about supremacy, and also a great way for Sam to demonstrate why he doesn’t need the serum to be worthy of the title.

Nth reason of why I don’t want Spellman writing Cap 4

[evidence-based-activism]

Okay! So, I decided to go ahead and go through the sources linked by @aliciabenissa on this post. Mostly because I really hate when people try and debate the literal definitions of words with me. @radkindoffeminist I thought you may also be interested in this since you commented on this post. Before beginning, I want to reiterate again that non-academic sources are still useful rhetorical devices. Essays, speeches, anecdotal evidence, and other sources have a role to play in both academic and non-academic discourse. It is disingenuous however to pass off an non-academic source as academic (and it is also a rising problem within many academic fields). First source (McKee, 2007a) used a self-selection survey sample of about 1000 people, 82% of whom were male. I had to go to a separate article (McKee, 2007b) to get that statistic. Additionally, the response rate to this survey was only 7.3% (very low). Further, this article is concerned exclusively with the effects of pornography on porn consumers, entirely neglecting the industry itself. The ultimate conclusion of this study is that people who consume pornography tend to think it benefits them positively. This is unsurprising, considering we tend to avoid ego-dystonic behaviors. In fact, previous experiments have shown that we tend to adapt or world-views to fit our behaviors, so as to avoid cognitive dissonance. Nonetheless, this source was an academic source. The second source (Orlowski, 2012) is not an academic source. It was published in the “Modern American” a student run, non-peer reviewed publication at the American University Washington College of Law. This is not a study, meta-analysis, or or review article, and is best characterized as a position paper. I don’t want to get too far into the content of the paper, but suffice to say, the paper argues that non-obscene pornography is protected under the first amendment. Curiously, the author posits that the current definition of obscenity is a reliable measure for deciding what pornography should be allowed, despite the definition of obscenity being notoriously unreliable and obscure. The third source (Friedersdorf, 2016) is also not an academic source. It is essentially an opinion essay published in The Atlantic. The main argument used is based on population studies, a methodology challenged in this study (Kingston & Malamuth, 2011), which you will note, is an actual peer reviewed academic article. The fourth source (Diamond, 2009) is academic! It’s also challenged by the same paper mentioned above (Kingston & Malamuth, 2011). The other main finding of this work is that people only want porn to be restricted from children, and think it’s fine to have available. Again, I don’t find the fact that porn consumers believe porn is fine to be surprising (see the discussion of the first source above). This article is also entirely focused on consumers. The fifth source (Pornography, n.d.) is a Psychology Today article that references the fourth source. Along with a study similar to the first source (McKee, 2007a). The same criticisms clearly apply. Nevertheless, the authors of that particular study (Hald & Malamuth, 2008) actually take the time to point out these problems with such a study design, and explain how the survey results actually support the arguments about desensitization, which is common component of anti-porn arguments. Source six (5 Reasons Watching Porn Together Can Be Good for Your Marriage, 2013) is a HuffPost article. It is not academic. The ideas presented are inane at best, and offensive at worst. Source seven (Moyer, n.d.) is also not an academic article. It is published in Scientific American which is a popular science magazine. The studies and arguments used in this article have already been debunked above. Source eight (Park, 2010) references source four (Diamond, 2009). It’s also not an academic source, as it is published in Time which is a magazine. The article also take an anti-pornography stance, describing the results as “provocative” ultimately unreliable and problematic. Source nine (McCormack & Wignall, 2017) is an academic source with a small sample size (n=35) of all men. It again is entirely concerned with the consumers of pornography, and relies on self-report of positive/negative effects. I explained how this is a flawed methodology in my discussion of source one (McKee, 2007a). I cannot verify if source ten (Wasserman, 1996) is an academic source or not. Based on what I’m able to access it looks like a position paper. Source eleven (Why Criminalizing Rape Porn Is a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea, 2014) is non academic. It is an opinion article in an “Internet Newspaper” called The Daily Dot. It’s entirely an appeal to emotion and references several of the above debunked arguments. Source twelve (Prause & Pfaus, 2015) is academic. It’s also about whether or not men who view porn experience erectile dysfunction, which, frankly, isn’t one of my main concerns about the sex industry. Since I know this is the only reason why some men will stop watching porn however: the study’s findings are strongly rebuked in a subsequent comment (Isenberg, 2015) that lays out several methodological and analytical problems found in the report. The final source (The 8 Best Sites to Watch Ethical, Fair Trade Porn, 2017) is not academic. It’s another opinion article with no sources (but plenty of links to porn sites) on The Daily Dot (the same as source eleven). It barely presents an argument at all, so I’ll just link you to my posts on how porn cannot be legal because it doesn’t comply to OSHA and a short opinion post on the violence inherent to porn. So, in summary: 8 out of 13 sources are non-academic, 4 out of 13 sources are academic (2 of which are directly challenged and all four of which have significant methodological issues), and 1 source is unknown. Of the twelve sources I verified, they were all entirely concerned with pornography consumers; neglecting “sex workers” altogether. (Hopefully, I don’t need to spell out why that’s a problem.) And @aliciabenissa I genuinely hope you aren’t sending sources like this to your supervisors and calling them academic. I strongly suggest using databases from your library or institution (such as ulrichsweb) to verify the legitimacy of sources.

A reminder for everyone that I have several essay posts discussing literature on the sex industry in my “sex industry” tag. This post may be a nice place to start for literature on how porn affects the consumer and I challenge other pro-porn articles in this post. Also take a look at this post for a nice summary article on the nordic model.

[Citation list under the cut]

5 reasons watching porn together can be good for your marriage. (2013, March 7). HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-reasons-why-watching-po_b_2766968

Diamond, M. (2009). Pornography, public acceptance and sex related crime: A review. International Journal of Law and Psychiatry, 32(5), 304–314. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijlp.2009.06.004

Friedersdorf, C. (2016, April 7). Is porn culture to be feared? The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/04/porn-culture/477099/

Hald, G. M., & Malamuth, N. M. (2008). Self-perceived effects of pornography consumption. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 37(4), 614–625. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-007-9212-1

Isenberg, R. A. (2015). Viewing sexual stimuli associated with greater sexual responsiveness, not erectile dysfunction: A comment. Sexual Medicine, 3(3), 219–221. https://doi.org/10.1002/sm2.71

Kingston, D. A., & Malamuth, N. M. (2011). Problems with aggregate data and the importance of individual differences in the study of pornography and sexual aggression: Comment on diamond, jozifkova, and weiss(2010). Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40(5), 1045–1048. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-011-9743-3

McCormack, M., & Wignall, L. (2017). Enjoyment, exploration and education: Understanding the consumption of pornography among young men with non-exclusive sexual orientations. Sociology, 51(5), 975–991. https://doi.org/10.1177/0038038516629909

McKee, A. (2007a). Positive and negative effects of pornography as attributed by consumers. Australian Journal of Communication , 34(1), 87–104.

McKee, A. (2007b). The relationship between attitudes towards women, consumption of pornography, and other demographic variables in a survey of 1,023 consumers of pornography. International Journal of Sexual Health, 19(1), 31–45. https://doi.org/10.1300/J514v19n01_05

Moyer, M. W. (n.d.). The sunny side of smut. Scientific American. https://doi.org/10.1038/scientificamericanmind0711-14

Orlowski, J. (2012). Beyond Gratification:The Benefits of Pornography and the Demedicalization of Female Sexuality. The Modern American, 8(2), 53–71.

Park, A. (2010, December 2). Study: Making pornography more accessible may curb child abuse. Time. https://healthland.time.com/2010/12/02/study-making-pornography-more-accessible-may-curb-child-abuse/

Pornography: Beneficial or detrimental? | psychology today. (n.d.). Retrieved July 19, 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/homo-consumericus/201001/pornography-beneficial-or-detrimental

Prause, N., & Pfaus, J. (2015). Viewing sexual stimuli associated with greater sexual responsiveness, not erectile dysfunction. Sexual Medicine, 3(2), 90–98. https://doi.org/10.1002/sm2.58

The 8 best sites to watch ethical, fair trade porn. (2017, December 16). The Daily Dot. https://www.dailydot.com/nsfw/guides/porn-ethical-premium/

Wasserman, M. (1996). Positive, powerful pornography. Agenda, 28, 58. https://doi.org/10.2307/4065758

Why criminalizing rape porn is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. (2014, June 18). The Daily Dot. https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/criminalizing-rape-porn-terrible-idea/

[shimishimii]

Masterlist [ #series: twinflames ]

⟿Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto x gn reader [they/them pronouns used]

⟿Genre: angst, fluff, soulmate au

⟿Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, arophobia, aphobia, amatonormativity, manipulation, others will be added and tagged as tw

⟿Status: on-going // Update schedule: saturday[utc] cause i have no good sense of time :’)

chapters: one — two — more parts soon

Prologue: 

Imagine meeting your perfect half…the person in whose eyes you find home, who is a perfect reflection to you, whose strengths are your weaknesses and none other than your counterpart.

The notion of “soulmate” is a wondrous thought. In which among the billion people in the universe, there is someone crafted in sync to your heartbeat—someone destined just for you.

They come into your life and it’s as if a sudden bolt of lightning hits — the world is suddenly brighter, everything tastes, smells and feels better. Your heart is uplifted and the dreams that suddenly seemed out of reach are now within grasp.

Unfortunately, finding it isn’t childsplay.

Journey through soulmate search is a little complicated as it has seven stages, the first being the easiest. A pink thread automatically shows by the time you reach the age of 21, a tool for you to easily navigate your soulmate among strangers. Each person, if lucky, will get a string. A faint shade of red, pink as it appears since seven stages should be fulfilled before the string turns fully red.

Seven stages of love: recognition, attraction, connection, awakening, communication, commitment and finally, completeness.

You already know your soulmate, given freely by the universe and the rest is up to you.

Fortunately, the string appears anytime, some are blessed enough to have their string appear the moment they are born while others are left to wander for years. Some get it days just before the end of their lifetime, forced to leave the world with regrets. 

Thankfully, yours was already showing signs of coming soon, there’s the evident weight of something on your ring finger. As if there was a thick rope wrapping your finger, the visible glow of pink too was beginning to surface.

You and your friends–Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto and Sumi have your own definitions and perspective in soulmate, of what real love is. But despite these different opinions, you can agree on the same thing. All of you are waiting for your own strings, all of you want to love and to be loved.

The world succumbs on this idea of happy endings, destiny, fate and true love brought by strings. Your career, relationship—they say your whole life revolves around the string.

So what happens if you lose yours?

Taglist: open, send an ask /comment

@broken-from-fandoms @boosyboo9206 @vintagexparker​ @cuddlesslut​ @xo-lovelyreign-xo​ @lilith412426​ @criesinpisces​ @rintarovibes​ @minnieminnie00-got7​ @discountkiyoko​ @scentedflower​ @erinoikawa​ @suhaaaefre​ @kirakirasaku​ @nevergoodenoughforthetruth​ @jessie9008

Reference: Vallejos, L. (2018) The true purpose of Twin Flame Connections Retrieved: June 13, 2021 https://drlisavallejos.medium.com/the-true-purpose-of-twin-flame-connections-2456de7249c

a/n: I like the plot and how I crafted the conflicts, I hope you do like it as well. I’m so nervous haha, wondering if someone will even read it or like the story but I am writing this to express and to focus on Kuroo, Kenma & Bokuto’s characters deeper. Again, I’m anxious how this will go but I’m taking every risk ^^

reblogs are very very appreciated, thank you sm, stay hydrated and take care lovely human

[unpopularwiththepopulace]

Michael Riedel vs Bernadette Peters – the Broadway Battle of 2003 and beyond

My previous piece gives a fairly comprehensive look at Bernadette and Gypsy through the ages; though there is at least one aspect of the 2003 revival that warrants further discussion:

Namely, Michael Riedel.

Today’s essay question then: “Riedel – gossip columnist extraordinaire, the “Butcher of Broadway”, spited male vindictive over not getting a lunch date with Bernadette Peters, or puppet-like mouthpiece of theatre’s shadowed elite? Discuss.”

It’s matter retrievable in print, or even kept alive in apocryphal memory throughout the theatre community to this day that Riedel was responsible for a campaign of unrelenting and caustic defamation against Bernadette as Rose in Gypsy around the 2003 season.

While “tabloids may [have been] sniping and the Internet chat rooms chirping”, when looking back at the minutiae, none were more vocal, prolific or influential in colouring early judgment than the “chief vulture [of] Mr. Riedel, who had written a string of vitriolic columns in which he said from the start that Ms. Peters was miscast”.

He continued to find other complaints and regularly attack her in print over an extended period of time.

Why? We’ll get there. There are a few theories to suggest. Firstly, how and what.

Primary to establish is that it perhaps would be foolish to expect anything else of Riedel.

Also an author and radio and TV show host, Riedel is best known as the “vituperative and compulsively readable” theatre columnist at The New York Post.

He’s a man who thrives on controversy, decrying: “Gossip is life!”

The man who says, “I’m a wimp when it comes to physical violence, but give me a keyboard and I’ll kill ya.”

“Inflicting pain, for him, is a jokey thing. ‘Michael has this cruel streak and a lack of empathy,’ says Susan Haskins, his close friend and co-host.”

And inflicting pain is what he did with Bernadette, in a saga that has become one of the most talked about and enduring moments of his career.

From the beginning, then.

Riedel started work at The Post in 1998.

His first words on Bernadette? “Oddly miscast in the Ethel Merman role,” in August of that year on Annie Get Your Gun. It was a sentiment he would carry across to his second mention six months later (“a seemingly odd choice to play the robust Annie Oakley”), and also across to the heart of his vitriolic coverage on her next Merman role in Gypsy.

 Negative coverage on Bernadette in Gypsy started in August 2002 when Riedel discussed the search for trying to find a new American producer for the show. It had initially been reported in late 2000 that a Gypsy revival with Bernadette was planned for London, before it was to transfer to Broadway. To begin with, Arthur Laurents was “eager to do Gypsy in London because it hadn't been seen in the West End since 1973”, and he “wanted to repeat [the] dreamlike triumph” he said Angela Lansbury’s production had been. But economic matters prevented this original plan, leaving the team looking for new producers in the US. Riedel suggested that Fran and Barry Wiessler step up as, “after all, they managed to sell the hell out of "Annie Get Your Gun," in which Peters…was also woefully miscast.”

He also quipped: “Industry joke: "Bernadette Peters in 'Gypsy'? Isn't she a little old to be playing Baby June?”, calling her “cutesy Peters” and again a “kewpie doll”.

Bernadette here seen side by side with the actual Baby June of the 2003 production – Kate Reinders.

Other publications to this point had discussed her “unusual” casting. Which was fairly self-evident. In contrast to being a surprising revelation that Bernadette Peters was not, in fact, Ethel Merman, this had been the intention from the start. Librettist Arthur “Laurents – whose idea it was to hire her – [said] going against type is exactly the point,” and Sam Mendes, as director, qualified “the tradition of battle axes in that role has been explored”.

It was Riedel who was the first to shift the focus from the obvious point that she was ‘differently cast’, to instead attach the negative prefix and intone that she was actually ‘MIS’ cast. According to him then, she was unsuitable, and would be unable to “carry the show, dramatically or vocally”. All before she had so much as sung a note or donned a stitch of her costume.

So no, it wasn’t then “the perception, widely held within the theater industry,” as he presented it, “that Peters is woefully miscast as Mama Rose”.

It was Riedel’s perception. And he took it, and ran with it, along with whatever else he could throw into the mix to drag both her and the show down for the next two years.

 As to another indication of how one single columnist can influence opinion and warp wider perception, just look to Riedel’s assessment of the show’s first preview. It is typically known as Riedel’s forte to “[break] with Broadway convention, [where] he attends the first night of previews, and reports on the problems…before the critics have their say”. This gives him “clout” by way of mining “terrain that goes relatively uncovered elsewhere”, and it means subsequent journals are frequently looking to him from whom to take their lead – and quotes.

At Gypsy’s opening preview then, he reported visions of “Arthur Laurents [charging] up the aisle��on fire”, loudly and vocally expressing his dissatisfaction with the show as he then “read Fox [a producer] the riot act”. Despite the fact that this was “not true, according to Laurents,” the damage was already done, with the sentiment of trouble and tension being subsequently reprinted and distributed out to the public across many a regional paper.

News travels fast, bad news travels faster.

 And news can be created at an ample rate, when in possession of one’s own regular periodical column. This recurring domain allowed plentiful opportunity for attack on Bernadette and Gypsy, and Riedel “began devoting nearly every column to the subject,” which amounted to weekly or even more frequent references.

As the show progressed beyond its first preview, Riedel brought in the next aspects of his smear-campaign – assailing Bernadette for missing performances through illness and accusing Ben Brantley, who reviewed the show positively in The New York Times, of unfair favouritism and “hyperbolic spin”.

The issue is not that Bernadette was not in fact ill or missing performances. She was. She had a diagnosis at first of “a cold and vocal strain”, that then progressed more seriously to a “respiratory infection” the following week, and was “told by her doctors that she needs to rest”. So rest she did.

The issue is the way in which Riedel depicted the situation and her absences via hyperbole and “insinuating she was shirking” responsibility. He went further than continual, repeated mentions and cruel article titles like “wilted Rose”, or “sick Rose losing bloom”, or “beloved but - ahem-cough-cough-ahem - vocally challenged and miscast star”. He went as far as the sensationalist and degrading action of putting “Peters' face on the side of a milk carton, the kind of advertisement typically used to recover lost children,” and asking readers to look out for “bee-stung lips, [a] high-pitched voice, [and a] kewpie doll figure”, who “may be clutching a box of tissues and a love letter from Ben Brantley”.

It was quantified in May of 2003 after the show had officially opened, that “out of the 39 performances "Gypsy" has played so far, [Bernadette] has missed six – an absence rate of 15 percent.”

As an interesting comparison, it was reported in The Times in February 2002 that “‘The Producers' stars Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick have performed together only eight times in last 43 performances due to scheduling problems and health concerns,” – an absence rate of 81%.

Did Riedel have anything nearly as ardent to say about the main male stars of the previous season’s hit missing such a rate of performances? Of course not.

 Riedel arguably has a disproportionate rate for criticising female divas.

One need only heed his recommendations that certain women check into his illuminatingly named “Rosie's Rest Home for Broadway Divas.” Divos need not apply.

Not that he was unaware of this.

In 2004, Riedel would jovially lay out that “Liz Smith and I have developed a nice tag-team act: I bash fragile Broadway leading ladies who miss performances, and she rides to their rescue.”

Donna Murphy was the recipient of what he that year dubbed his “BERNADETTE PETERS ATTENDANCE AWARD”, when she began missing performances in “Wonderful Town”, due to “severe back and neck injuries and a series of colds and sinus infections”.

This speaks to his remarkably cavalier and joyful attitude with which he tears down shows and performers. “The more Mr. Riedel's work upsets people, the more he enjoys it.”

He knows he yields influence – it was recognised he had “eclipsed Ben Brantley as the single most discussed element in marketing meetings for Broadway shows” – and he delights in his capacity to lead shows to premature demises through his poison-tipped quill yielding.

When it was reported Gypsy would be closing earlier than had been planned, he made mention of “hop[ping] around on [its] grave” and debonairly applauding himself, “I suppose I can take some credit for bringing it down”.

 His premonition from the previous year’s Tony’s ceremony was both ominous and prescient, when he predicted the show’s failure to win any awards “could spell trouble at the box office”. He was right. It did. The 8.5 million dollar revival closed months before anticipated and failed to return a profit.

Multiple factors can be attributed to Gypsy’s poor success at the Tony’s, but it’s clear to say Riedel’s continual bashing leading up to the fated night throughout the voting period certainly didn’t help matters.

His suggestions to do with Bernadette’s performances were not helpful either.

After alleging Laurents as the director of the 1991 revival “practically beat a performance out of” Tyne Daly when she was struggling with the role, he proffers that to improve Bernadette’s success, “it may be time for [Laurents] to take up the switch and thrash one out of Peters”.

Great.

It was irresponsible and unrelenting commentary that did not go unnoticed.

His “ruthless heckling of beloved Broadway star Ms. Peters” was deemed in print “his most egregious stunt so far”.

Vividly, in person, Riedel was accosted at a party one night by Floria Lasky, the venerable showbiz lawyer, who “grab[bed] Riedel’s tie and jerk[ed] it, nooselike, scolding, ‘It was unfair, what you did to Bernadette’”.

Moreover, the wide-reaching influential hold Riedel occupied over the environment surrounding Gypsy was tangible in the fact his words spread beyond just average readers, and even unusually “started seeping into the reviews of New York's top critics”. Riedel himself, as the “chief vulture”, was indeed what Ben Brantley was referring to in his own New York Times review by stating how the production was “shadowed by vultures predicting disaster”.

Even more substantially, the “whole Peters-Riedel-Brantley episode” became its own enduring cultural reference – being converted into its very own “satiric cabaret piece, ‘Bernadette and the Butcher of Broadway’”. All three parties were featured, with Riedel characterised as the butcher, and it played Off-Broadway later in 2003 “to positive notices”.

 But penitent for his sins and begging for absolution Riedel was not. “Riedel saw nothing but a great story and a great time,” and for many years after, he would continue to hark back to the matter in self-referential (almost reverential) and flippant ways.

In 2008 as Patti LuPone won her Tony for her turn as Rose in the subsequent revival, Riedel couldn’t help but jibe, “Not to rip open an old wound, but I'd love to know if Bernadette Peters was watching”. (He neglects also to mention that “Mendes’s Gypsy was seen by 100,000 more people than saw Laurents’s and grossed $6 million more”.)

More jibes are to be found in 2012 as he reported on the auction after Arthur Laurents’ funeral, or even as recently in 2019, as he asked, “Remember the outcry that greeted Sam Mendes’ Brechtian “Gypsy,” with Bernadette Peters, in 2003?”

As with in 2004 where he points to the “pack of jackals who have been snarling” about Bernadette’s failures, this brings up the canny knack Riedel has of offloading his views to bigger and detached third party sources – thus absolving himself of personal centrality, and thus culpability.

If there was an outcry, HE was its loudest contributor. If there were snarling jackals, HE was their leader.

Maybe Riedel’s third person detached approach to referencing matters was intended to be a humorous stylistic quirk for those in the know. Or maybe it was his way of expressing some inner turmoil over the event.

In some rare display of morality and emotional authenticity, Riedel would at one point admit “I find it kind of sad and pathetic that the high point of my life supposedly has been about beating up on Bernadette Peters”.

Fortunately for him then, a degree of absolution was eventually achieved in 2018, where Riedel visited Bernadette at her opening night in Hello Dolly in 2018, with the intention of ending their “15-year feud”. He “got down on one knee at Sardi’s and extended his hand,” with Bernadette reportedly yelling “Take a picture!” while he held his deferential and obsequious position on the floor.

So if eventually this “feud” has some kind of circular resolution and Riedel was glad it was over, why on earth did it begin in the first place?

One notion is that it was simply another day on the job. Riedel is a man who sees Broadway as “a game for rich people”. Positioned as an “an industry that brought in $720.9 million in the 2002-2003 season”, it is “not a fragile business”, he remarked. As such, he “[could not] fathom the point of donning kid gloves” in covering it, and reasoned the business as a whole was robust enough to weather a few hard knocks. “Thus, Riedel can coolly view Bernadette Peters as fair game, as opposed to, say, a national treasure”.

More to the point, he was a man in search of words. During the season in question, Riedel was “one of just three New York newspaper columnists covering the stage” – a “throwback to a bygone era when…Broadway gossipmeisters…such as Walter Winchell and Dorothy Kilgallen ruled”. Now at the time, as the “last of a great tabloid tradition”, Riedel presided over not just one but two columns a week at The Post. As a result, he was in need of content. “One of the reasons I've become more opinionated is I just have more space to fill,” he admitted. Robert Simonson hypothesises in his book ‘On Broadway Men, Still Wear Hats’ that Riedel may have consequently picked “the thrashing of Bernadette” as his main target simply because “it was a slow news cycle”. Options for ‘titillating’ and durable content were scarce elsewhere that season.

And after all, if Riedel would later cite Bernadette in an article concerning the Top 10 Powerhouses of Broadway in 2004, saying even despite a few knocks or bad shows, “she’ll bounce back” – surely there was no real damage done.

If her career wouldn’t be toppled by his continual public defamation and haranguing, what was the harm?

Feelings? Who cares about feelings or Bernadette’s extremely complex and personal history with the show stretching back to when she was a teenager.

It was just part of the territory, there was nothing personal in it.

 Or was there?

Maybe there was something personal in Riedel’s campaign after all.

He makes a curious comment while discussing ‘A Raisin in the Sun’ in 2004. The then incoming star of the show, rapper P. Diddy, had invited Riedel to dinner, and he makes judgement that this was “a smart p.r. move”. Then he ponders, “you do have to wonder: If Bernadette Peters had broken bread with me this time last year, would her chorus boys have to be out there now working the TKTS line to keep "Gypsy" afloat?”

Might he be going as far to suggest that if Bernadette had indulged him in a meal, her show might not have suffered so, by way of him being more inclined to cover it with greater lenience?

It may seem that way, at least in considering how Riedel reviewed P. Diddy’s performance thus after their dinner: “Riedel pronounced himself impressed. ‘He could have forgotten his lines or had to be carried offstage. He didn’t do anything terrible, he didn’t do anything astonishing.’”

Seemingly all the rapper had to do was remember some words and remain physically onstage, and he sails through scot-free. That’s a rather different outcome, one could say, to being absolutely eviscerated for what became a Tony nominated effort at one of the appreciably hardest and most demanding musical theatre roles in existence.

Though perhaps it’s hard to tell if that was really his insinuation from just one isolated comment pertaining to lunch.

This argument might be fine, if it WAS the only isolated comment pertaining to wanting Bernadette to have lunch with him. But it isn’t. Riedel continues to make a further two references over protracted periods of time to the fact Bernadette hasn’t dined with him.

One begins to get the sense of him feeling desiring of or somewhat entitled to such a private lunch with the lady he’s verbally decimated for years, and a sense of bitter rejection that he hasn’t been granted one.

“If Tonya Pinkins doesn't win the Tony Award this year, I'll buy Bernadette Peters lunch,” he simpered, and later, “I invite Bernadette to be my guest for lunch at a restaurant of her choosing. She can reach me at The Post anytime she's hungry”.

The embittered columnist in this light takes on now the marred tinge of a small boy in the playground who doesn’t get to hold the hand of the girl he wants in front of his friends, so spends the next three years pushing her over in the sandpit in revenge.

Moreover, the last statement makes undeniable comment on Bernadette’s troubled relationship with food, body image and public eating.

So now not only so far has he insulted and mocked her physical appearance and played into all the usual trite shots calling her a “kewpie doll”; suggested Arthur Laurents violently hit her in order to elicit a better performance; continually publicly harassed her regarding a show that strikes close to the nerve with deep personal and psychological resonances due to her mother and childhood; but now he’s going for the low-blows of ridiculing her over her eating habits.

Flawless behaviour.

 Maybe it’s far-fetched to suggest a man would have such a fragile ego to run a multi-year public defamation campaign after so little as not getting his hypothesised fantasy of a personal lunch date. But then again, this was the man who “left Johns Hopkins University after his first year because of a broken heart.” (“I was in love with her; she wasn't in love with me,” he said.)

And also the man described as “an insomniac who pops the occasional Ambien,” living in a “small one-bedroom” that is “single-guy sloppy”, who has “been living alone since a four-year romance ended in 1996”.

The man whose own best friend called “cruel” and with a “lack of empathy”.

The man whose own sister answered that “well, yes,” he’s always been mean; and after being picked on as a kid for “being the small guy and the intellectual”, he grew dependent on using “his verbal ability to beat someone” and put himself in positions of defensive impenetrability.

See, writing Riedel-esque, vindictive and provocative conjecture is no especially challenging or cerebral task.

Riedel may well see his approach to ‘journalism’ or reporting as “all fun and games”.

But I for one am not laughing.

 One final aspect to address when considering Riedel’s reasoning for the depth of his coverage on Bernadette demands attention of how he gets his information. His own personal opinions and motivations aside, crucially he depends on insider providers for insider details. Perhaps somewhat alarmingly then, “leading Broadway producers themselves are among his sources”.

“Half of Broadway hates him. The other half leaks to him”, John Heilpern titled his 2012 Vanity Fair profile on Riedel.

As such, in frequently taking his lead from “theater folk, usually with an ax to grind”, Riedel acts as the mouthpiece to bring secretive backstage reports out front. High-up, influential characters are thus able to funnel their agendas into public view, while keeping their identities hidden.

Notably, it was raised in the above article that Riedel’s “merciless running story” regarding Bernadette in Gypsy “was fed by none other than its renowned librettist, Arthur Laurents—or, more precisely, by Laurents's lover”.

Contrary to the smiley picture below between members of the show’s creative team and it’s beloved star, it was no secret that Laurents did not like Mendes’ 2003 revival. Laurents told Riedel that “Sam did a terrible disservice to Bernadette and the play, and I wanted a Gypsy seen in New York that was good… You have to have musical theater in your bones, and Sam doesn't”. In fact, Laurents admitted the only reason his 2009 book ‘Mainly on Directing’ came into existence was because of how much he had to criticise about the show – it grew out of the extensive set of notes he gave Mendes.

Additionally, it was no secret that Laurents’ lover, Tom Hatcher, demonstrated both a desire and capacity to influence Arthur’s productions. As well as being the driving force for the 2009 Spanish-speaking reworking of West Side Story, Hatcher had intense investment in Gypsy specifically. Patti LuPone writes in her memoir, “From his deathbed, Tom had told Arthur, ‘You have to do Gypsy, and you have to do it with Patti’. It was one of his dying wishes”. Laurents himself, in corroboration of this, explained Tom’s reasoning – “he didn't want the Sam Mendes production to be New York's last memory of Gypsy”.

The allegation in Heilpern’s profile might be hard to prove from an outsider perspective. But given that neither were happy with Mendes’ production and both actively took steps to ensuring it would be superseded in memory, it is not completely implausible.

 Overarchingly, as much as Riedel’s writing may benefit FROM insider sources, it is said he does not write in benefit OF them. For instance, although friends with Scott Rudin in 2004, an animated (nay threatening) warning from Mr Rudin asking Riedel to “back off” from “slamming” his show, Caroline or Change, seemingly “had no impact”.

That’s not to cite total impartiality or exemption from personal connections and higher up influences colouring his reports of shows. Theatre publicist John Barlow would describe that sometimes “if you ask Michael to kill [one of his pieces], he will, if it’s someone with whom he does business”.

But it would be remiss not to mention that his influences and sources stretch beyond just the big wigs. Amongst his other informants too are the more lowly, overlooked folk like “the stagehands, the ushers, chorus kids, house managers, and press agents… the guys who build sets in the Bronx”. Basically, for anyone who’ll talk, Riedel will listen.

“Michael Riedel doesn't work for the producers or the publicists; he works for the reader,” one publicist said. “Sometimes we're glad of that, sometimes we're not-but at the end of the day, that's the reality.”

Sometimes he’s nice, sometimes he’s not – but the world goes round.

Through all that’s been explored, it should be stated how painful and injurious it must be for individual performers or shows to fall upon the unmitigated, maiming force of being on the wrong side of Riedel’s favour. The way he approached coverage on Bernadette is deplorable from an emotional and personal standpoint. Some would argue that it was too far and crossed a line and was most definitely unfair. Others would say it was justified. It’s hard not to sound petulant as the former, or heartless as the latter.

While his actions may indeed be abrasively wounding in isolated (often plentiful) cases, it’s unreasonable to say Riedel’s intentions would be to cripple the Broadway industry as a whole. There are those who purport that Riedel in fact “keeps Broadway alive with his controversies”. His words may not always be ‘nice’ but it’s difficult to argue they're not engaging.

Many are quick to criticize or react impassionedly to him and his columns; but few are quick to stop reading them. And Riedel “knows that the most important thing is being well read”.

Hence it is understandable why Riedel is appraised as “the columnist Broadway loves to hate”. Through his enthralling and stimulating bag of linguistic and dramatic tricks, Riedel knows how to keep the readers coming back. “He’s lively, and he makes the theater seem like an interesting place,” one producer did reason.

“There are times when no one's going to care about Broadway if you don't have a gossip angle that focuses on the backstage drama,” opined George Rush, the Daily News gossip columnist who was once Riedel's boss.

Perhaps it is logically and principally then, if somewhat cynically, a matter of believing “it's just business” and knowing how to “play the game”.

As Riedel himself would rationalise, “It’s all an act. You gotta have a gimmick, as they say in Gypsy.”

It may not be pleasant, but in a world increasingly dependent on sensationalistic and clickbait-driven engagement, it’s probably not going to change any time soon.

 Well then, if he can live with the toll of the position of moral tumult his column puts him in, so be it.

That he described his mind as being “constantly on the next deadline”, saying “I always think about the column”, and likening writing it to “standing under a windmill”, where “you dodge one blade, but there's always another one coming right behind it”, may be some indication that he can't. At least not wholly easily.

I’ll leave that to him to figure out. Off the record.

[interstellarflare]

Bend and Break || Homelander

-PART ONE-

Warnings: Gore, violence, course language, angst.

Summary: People can only bend their morales so far before they break. Homelander is the world’s greatest superhero, and you, a tech analyst, somehow become entangled in his world when he learns that you provide intel to The Boys. He makes it his personal mission to find out exactly what you know, but he never expected such resistance from someone as damaged as you. But broken things can be mended, sometimes in the most unexpected ways possible.

Author’s Note: As a bit of a disclaimer, I have only seen snippets of The Boys. I haven’t actually watched all of it, so forgive me if there are some details that are wrong, as well as the many spelling errors that will undoubtedly be in this series. There is a tag list open for those who wish to be added. Gif by @stream​

You had no idea how you ended up providing intel for The Boys. You didn’t even know how they managed to find you.

You were a nobody, a nobody who so happened to be very knowledgeable around technology. You hacked into secure companies that were affiliated with The Seven, media outlets, private companies and the like, and gained whatever information you could before passing it on to the leader of The Boys himself, Billy Butcher. He stopped by your apartment at random hours during the day and night, giving you set deadlines to complete certain assignments before he came to retrieve the intel. No one knew who you were. You were so mysterious in fact, that the general public had even given you a name. The Watcher.

Not long after you were given your name, The Seven were notified of your existence. Madelyn Stillwell explained to The Seven that their servers had been hacked, and several files of important information had been taken in a matter of seconds. It was a serious security breach, and Madelyn wanted whoever did this killed. Homelander couldn’t help but agree. He volunteered to personally to do it himself, to a send a message to The Boys. It would be a good publicity stunt. If The Watcher was stopped, then The Boys would lose their only source of information. Plus, the public would love him even more.

But unfortunately for you, you had made a mistake. Vought International traced the IP address to your apartment a few days after your cyber attack, and Homelander was en route within the hour. It was a shitty apartment complex, fitting he supposed, for one who would commit such a crime against him and his colleagues. A huge uproar occurred outside the building, drawing your attention toward the ground floor. When your eyes met the form of the famous superhero waving to the adoring crowd as he entered through the lobby, a string of disgusting curses escaped your lips. There was no point in running, he could catch up easily. There was no point in hiding, the fucker could see through walls. There was nothing you could do except panic internally, and hope that maybe Billy and the others knew about this conundrum.

Before you had another second to think, heavy footsteps echoed down the hall, eventually stopping in front of your apartment door. You stood in the centre of your apartment, debating whether or not to open the door and atop that horrendous knocking, or answering Billy’s distress call on your laptop. If you made a run for your laptop, he would know. There was no doubt that the son of a bitch was using his x-ray vision to watch you sweat. He was probably reviling in the fact that he had caught you, and that there was nowhere for you to go. Regretfully and hesitantly, you moved towards the door, steadying your breath before throwing it open. You swallowed thickly as your gaze met Homelander’s blue hues, as he stared down at you with that stupid fake Hollywood smile of his. With his hands braced on his hips in that cliche superhero stance, he pointed accusingly at you, trying to keep up his heroic image as a crowd began to gather in the hall. “You, are one hard person to find Miss L/n...” he began, laughing mockingly as the crowd gathered around your apartment door.

Your eyes flickered around the crowd, some tenants you recognised, others you didn’t. Biting your lips nervously, your shrugged your shoulders as calmly and nonchalantly as you could. “I like to keep it that way...” you responded confidently, holding his gaze despite your growing fear “to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”. Homelander grinned, and without saying a word, he pushed past you into your apartment, his eagle shoulder pad deliberately knocking you out of the way. You clenched your jaw, giving the gathered crowd one last warning glare before slamming the door in their faces. You heard several muffled shouts, and hushed voice talking. What could Homelander possibly want with her? What makes her so special?

“So, you are The Watcher?” He spoke tauntingly, folding his arms intimidatingly over his chest as you turned to face him. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you nodded slowly, your eyes landing on your laptop screen once again. Billy was still trying to contact you, and it was by sheer dumb luck that the tyrant in front of you didn’t notice. Homelander’s eyes narrowed, glowing a faint red as he approached “You know, you’ve done a very bad thing...” he spoke lowly, moving so close to you that your back hit your apartment door with a loud thump. Homelander could hear your heart beating rapidly in your chest, though your breath came out even and slow. “I want back what you stole from Vought International, now” he growled stepping closer so that there was barely any space left between you. You looked up at the superhero in front of you with a shrug of your shoulders, slipping out of that small space and making your way over to your laptop.

“Sorry, but I don’t have it anymore...” you responded blatantly, pressing the ‘decline’ button to Billy’s call. Homelander’s eyes returned to their normal blue out of shock, as he turned to face you bewilderedly. You leaned against the desk beside your laptop, your head tilted to the side in an almost carefree nature. In a matter a seconds, your demeanour had changed entirely. How? You were just terrified of him...he could hear your heart beating like crazy. “I’m sorry, what?...” he asked in disbelief “where is it then?”. “It’s long gone by now, The Boy’s probably have it now, so I don’t think you’ll be getting it back anytime soon”. How dare you. He was Homelander, the world’s greatest superhero, how dare you, a mere human speak to him this way. Downplaying your words, you watched as Homelander’s expression darkened, before he used his superhuman speed to suddenly appear before you in a burst of wind. You released a sharp cry as Homelander gripped your forearm, using his superhuman strength to apply agonising pressure to your limb. You winced, tears flowing freely from your eyes as he leaned forward, his breath ghosting the shell of your ear.

“I’ve changed my mind, I don’t even want the information anymore...” he began, tightening his grip which made you release a pained cry “I just want Billy Butcher. Now, I know you have contact with him. If you don’t tell me where he is in the next five seconds, I’m going to break your arm”. You shrieked, trying to pry your arm from his grip to no avail. “Five..” Homelander began, slowly squeezing your arm “four-”

“I don’t know where he is! I’m telling the truth!” “I don’t believe you, three...” He continued, as you screamed for him to let you go. You squirmed, you kicked, you tried anything and everything to get him to let go. “Two...” he whispered tauntingly, no doubt enjoying your pain. You were panicking by now. What could you do? What could you say to get him to believe you? “STOP! He comes by my apartment at random times of the day and night. There isn’t a set schedule, that’s all I know I swear!”. Silence enveloped the apartment, the only sound heard was your soft cries as the pain in your forearm became unbearable. But just like that, it disappeared as Homelander released you from his hold. You collapsed to the floor of your apartment, sobbing quietly as you held your arm to your chest. Through your tearful gaze, you could already see your arm starting to bruise, the vibrant red slowly turning to a deep purple.

Heavy footsteps approached as Homelander knelt down before you. Cupping the side of your face with his gloved hand, he lifted your head up to meet his gaze. With a small victorious smile, he spoke authoritatively “Then how about you and I make a little arrangement. I’ll stop by at random times of the day and night as well, that way, I’m bound to catch him at some point right? And when I do, I’ll kill you to set an example. How does that sound?”. You said nothing as Homelander stood up, his touch lingering as a silent promise to his threat. “Oh, and I forgot...” he called out, turning to face you with a smirk “Don’t even think about warning him, I’ll know” he continued, motioning to his ears in reference to his superhuman hearing before walking through your apartment door. As he disappeared through the adoring crowd still gathered outside, you began to sob loudly.

You had never been more terrified in your life. Your arm still hurt like hell as you trudged towards your phone, which had been vibrating non-stop the entire time. There were five missed calls from Billy, and about seven texts, all of them containing a stunning variety of swear words which you didn’t know existed.

‘Answer me damn it, fucking hell woman. What’s going on over there?’

Your hands trembled as you replied, your breath uneven as your heart thundered in your ears.

‘Not safe to talk. He knows’.

[uniquevocashark]

A Good Servant

Part 1 of ?

Summary: You would do anything to keep her happy: be it keeping her pet healthy, running her house or making her wine. Everything but for what you both want.

Some content warnings for this part: there's heavily referenced sex/sexual activity, pet play (not with the reader, this is an angsty prologue fic), brief mention of adultery, casual contemplation of murder, brief mention of whipping and a joke made about catholics. If I missed anything that you think should be tagged, dm me and I'll add it.

--

You start down the hallway before you can stop to think, holding the tray aloft in one hand. It's very easy to hear the strangled sounds of Lady Dimitrescu's most recent pet, some twenty something woman from the village, which only makes your job that much harder.

As you had been here for quite some time, you knew one of the most taboo acts was to interrupt her during 'training'. As you got closer you could hear her voice clear as day, offering soothing encouragements before the snap of a crop reached your ears.

You stop just before the door, wondering briefly if she'd use it on you for interrupting. But you couldn't send the heads of the other families away, so you steal yourself, rebalanced the tray and knock thrice.

There's a shuffle and her pet screams louder than before, followed by a half slurred string of begging and moans.

You purse your lips. You knock again, thrice, harder this time. You finally hear the Lady curse, some Romanian word you can't quite grasp yet, followed by quick shushing of her pet. You hold the tray carefully and take a precautionary step back.

She slams the door open and you catch a fleeting look at her black silk underwear before you shift your gaze into the room. Her pet, whose name you don't know and dotn care to learn, sits uncomfortably on the floor beside her masters bed.

"What is it?" Lady Dimitrescu snarls down at you, and you look up at the filigree decorating the wall beside her head.

"The Heisenbergs and Moreau are here to see you, Madame. They bear a seal from Mother Miranda." You handover the letter one of them gave you and fill her glass while she reads it.

You drop a bit of her special wine into it and hand it over. She eyes you carefully, taking a lemon slice. "Help me dress." She says and walks back into her room.

The hallway beckons but you follow her in anyway. She won't kill you, not while Mother Miranda has need of you, but you know she forgets how fragile people are sometimes. Her pet is a keen example; she clearly hasn't slept much due to her servicing, she's bruised all over and the way her lips wobble stirs some momentary pity in you.

Unfortunately for her, any stronger feelings have long since been cut away and seeing her in such a state only brings up questions of how you can improve. Still, you try to put on some faux sympathy for her.

You fill the smaller glass and hand it to her pet with a small platter of apple slices. When you look over to Lady Dimitrescu her brows are raised.

"She hasn't eaten for two days, Madame." You say instead of explaining. It had been one of the cooks ideas, someone that knew her.

Clearly, Lady Dimitrescu didn't realise that, "Of course," she replies crisply, her tone too sharp, "You may eat, pet."

Without waiting, you walk over to her closet to pick a dress. They are the same style and differ in their colour scheme; three are the same shade of light cream, twelve are pure white and three more are tinged grey. You pick out a light cream one with matching undergarments when she calls you over.

You've been working for her a long time, excess of seven years, so you know how she prefers to be dressed after stringent activity. You slip her bra on and her underwear. Slowly, you put her stockings on, as to not rip the expensive fabric, and clip them to her garter belt.

Lady Dimitrescu choses which garter she wears each day rather than have you or her personal amod do so, today it is the one that tangles easily. Its notorious among the staff for how difficult it is to put on. You know your way around it, though, fastening it quickly about her hips and thighs. "Have you put any thought into what I asked earlier, Madame?"

Lady Dimitrescu scoffs, sipping her water, "I have a personal maid." She jerks her chin to her pet, who has been munching as quietly as possible on the apple slices.

"Yes," you say lightly, helping her step through into her dress, "I merely doubt she will have time to deal with any duties other than those of a pet."

She eyes you dangerously and sets her cup down. You ignore the passive aggressive ploy to retrieve the step ladder in the closet. You flick it open and climb it as you pull her dress up, admiring the muscles of her back when she flexes subtly, then guide her arms into the sleeves.

"Who do you recommend, my gracious head of staff?" She croons when you work your way up the buttons of her dress.

You overexargerate your sigh at her playful tone. You catch her smile in the mirror and go back to buttoning. It is much harder to accept some days that this cannot last forever.

"Jessica is a cheery and dedicated worker with a strong back for lashings should she ever disappoint," her pet looks at you with mild horror that you file away and you try to strain your voice a little more towards reluctance, "Mihaela may suit your temper better, she has a quiet nature, has little care for material things and does her best to avoid punishment." That and her aggressive asides about the Lady would stop if she wanted to live.

Lady Dimitrescu moves over to her vanity, and you follow, grabbing the scissors attached to your chatelain and three roses from the vase on her desk. "Who else?" She asks, flicking the cap off her lipstick.

"Louise may suit as well," You say as you clip the stalks, "but Miss Daniela has taken a fancy to her. It would not be the wisest choice. There is also Rachel but she is pregnant with the gardeners child."

"Leave it to humans to rut like base animals on my property," she taps her lips thoughtfully,  "Wasn't Rachel married?"

"She is, Madame."

"Do you remember to whom?"

You pause in your arranging of the flowers on her breast and she catches your eye with a smile that burns you, "It was to the southern most butcher. One of the Bradleys, I believe."

She clicks her tongue, breaking eye contact, and you move to brush her silky hair out before she repins it. "Tell Heisenbergs retainer to have her husband brought here. It may be time to cull that wretched family," she paused, sipping again at her water, "Also, Mihaela will do, inform her after the meeting."

"Of course, Madame." You set the brush down, and grab her powder, dusting it onto her cheeks as she fixes the curls back into her hair. She is most beautiful like this, when her face turns delicately pensive and she stills almost completely. You almost wonder what it would be like, with her, and have to take an extra second to cool your heating face.

When she turns to you, with that deliberate, unabashed affection stealing the faux indifference from her face, it makes your heart quake in a way you haven't felt before. You have to look away before you both do something stupid. Deliberately, you plant your hand on her shoulder to keep her at a distance and stare intently at her ear as you put her earrings on.

Her pet has come to sit at your feet, Lady Dimitrescu running her fingers through her hair and you vaguely wonder what it would be like. What if you were there instead and what if this and that and everything else you could want but can't have. Neither of you will cross Mother Miranda.

Her pet gives you the dishes, the glass and plate empty. You move away from them, so that you're not tempting anything again and refill the glass.

"Shall I also have inquiries made about a new gardener, madame?" You ask as you hand the glass back, then move to gather together a suitable outfit for her pet.

The softness is gone from her face and you tell yourself you're glad of it. "Yes, someone more appropriate."

"Not a Catholic then?" You ask innocently. She chuckles warmly and you go about dressing her pet with a little smile. "And would you prefer the current one be brought to your daughters or sent straight to the cellar?"

She regards you seriously in the mirror, and you stare back into her golden eyes before returning to fixing the bow on the back of her pets dress, "Bring him to me when I'm next available."

You usher her pet back to her seat, putting the cups back on the tray, "That would be after dinner for today, or at three tomorrow evening."

"After dinner will be fine." She replies, eating the rest of her lemon. She hands you the skin, her fingers brushing yours deliberately, and you take longer than needed to deposit it on the plate.

"The families are gathered in the dining hall, Madame. I had the kitchen staff prepare a light brunch."

"Tell them I'll be there momentarily."

"As you say, my Lady." You curtsy as you leave. You make a note to have Rachel serve dinner and to watch the Lady's pet while she's busy. You may even go so far as to ask the cook to make a broth; this pet seems to make her happy and you are determined that her pet remains able to do so.

It's all you can do, after all.

Hey, little note:

This is a multi chapter fic with a planned unhappy ending because Courtly Love Trope doesn't usually end well. There will also be references to Resident Evil lore from previous games. Do I care if its accurate? No, not at all. Resi purists beware this fic. And thanks for reading!

[doodledrawsthings]

Oh The Humanity! AU  Masterpost

Hi! Making a masterpost for this AHiT AU so y’all have one place to just find all the important bits that I and other folks in the fandom have done for this AU! Everything will be under the read more

AU Premise: Snatcher steals a time piece from Hat Kid and Bow Kid to mess with them. He tries to use it during one of the Death Wish fights, but turns out the particular time piece he stole was faulty/ something was up with it/ he broke it in a weird way that really messed it up. Because of this, when he broke the piece, instead of rewinding time back a few minutes, it sent his form back about 300 years, returning him to human form, but with all his present memories. Now, he’s stuck as a human as and has to wait for the Time Traveling Alien Kids to fix the time piece and return him to normal, while also being forced to confront his past.

You can find most of this in the tag #oth!au. I will also be updating this as new stuff gets added or if I find that I’ve missed something. Let me know if there’s something I missed that you’d like me to add, cuz boy howdy i didnt realize how much is stuffed into this AU, and I dont remember what I’ve already said and what I’m saving for future stuff:

Significant Events in the Main Timeline story (these are kind of in order and kind of not. There’s more to be added, just not yet):

this au has a bunch of different endings thanks to the lovely ahit fandom’s contributions.

This all happens sometime after This comic. So, by the time OTH!AU happens, Moon and Snatcher are at least on“awkward acquaintance” terms with eachother and snatcher is trying to be nicer to him. He’s still got his moments of being rude and snappy tho, but thats just because he’s snatcher.

The first actual post i made In regards to this AU+ @positive-polygons​ comic interpretation of the beginning of the AU. He breaks a weird time piece he stole and he reverse ages back to being alive again. : Link Link1 Link2 Link3

Snatcher asks moonjumper to watch over Subcon while he’s stuck like this Link

Bow takes him to Nyakuza Metro to get new clothes. He trashes the Prince get-up as soon as possible. Link

Arctic Cruise Arc Link1 Link2 Link3 Link4

Some comics, they learn his name is luka at some point

Moonjumper is taking care of Subcon. They do things way differently than snatcher but they’re trying their best. 

Cooking Cat comes by to cook and help out. She’s very motherly to everyone. She’s taken Mu on as an apprentice, so she’s usually there with her whenever she drops by.

The birds are wrapping up a collab movie. The main cast are invited to the premier party, as Hat and Bow acted in the film. Snatcher gets to wear a nice suit and he has some interaction with the conductor and grooves. Link Link

at multiple points, MJ checks in with snatcher for status reports on how subcon is doing. This is usually where their bonding moments happen and they become less and less awkward with each interaction.

At some point around mid to late story, they find out that Subcon is starting to freeze over again. Snatcher was the only one who could melt the ice so this now gives them a time limit.

The Mirror incident Link Link  second fic by @greentrickster​

as snatcher gets along with the kids more, they remake his mailman hat so he can use badges and equip him with his own umbrella. Link Link

at some point snatcher realizes he doesn’t wanna go back to being a ghost.

Main-timeline ending is a Boss battle with Vanessa. Link

General Headcanons:

Almost everything you need to know about moonjumper and the prince and vanessa’s relationship Link

Snatcher and Vanessa have known eachother since they were kids. Their marriage was arranged, but they were good friends

OTH! Snatcher is aroace 

about snatcher’s feelings on defeating vanessa (*human!/final boss vanessa ending) Link1 Link2

This fic has a really good interpretation of the horizon that I’ve pretty much adopted, myself. Link

regarding snatcher’s expression of empathy and emotion both as a human and as a ghost Link1

Snatcher gradually takes on a fatherly role towards the girls. He is constantly trying to deny it as he comes to realize it but eventually accepts it. 

he’s actually pretty graceful with the umbrella  Link Link

Hat kid’s a good leader, but she can often be reckless and stubborn. Significantly more chaotic of the two space gremlins. She’s a lot like snatcher in a lot of ways, and because of that they are constantly butting heads but they get along better as Snatcher both gets used to being human and grows fonder of the two girls. She’s a bit closer to Snatcher, having been the most adamant about being his friend (initially out of spite but yknow) and they have a lot in common. 

People frequently mistake snatcher for being Hat Kid and Bow Kid’s visiting father. They usually comment on how much he looks like he could be HK’s biological dad. Both are in denial of this throughout the main timeline of this au. It’s a running gag. Link

snatcher is sometimes completely oblivious when he enters Dad Mode sometimes

Bow, on the other hand is generally a bit more shy and careful than hat kid is. She tends to take the passenger seat, taking on a more supportive role. She’s also way more polite. In this sense, she has more in common with moonjumper, and gets along with them quite well and she frequently goes to visit him the most often, on her own.

 Her and snatcher’s relationship kind of parallels snatcher’s relationship with MJ. Snatcher, having once been a big jerk to these kids, is now trying to teach bow to take more of a leading role and be more confident.

as this au takes place not long after the Clearing Incident comic, Snatcher and MJ’s relationship is a bit awkward in the beginning. Over the course of the AU their relationship would build up to be more brotherly.

the subconites like moonjumper but they miss their boss. MJ spoils them tho, which they appreciate and occasionally take advantage of Link Link

moonjumper learns to stand up for himself, snatcher learns to be more vulnerable

moonjumper is the badgeseller. Only hat, bow, and snatcher know this. 

snatcher very much enjoys feeling warm, its one of few saving graces he clings too in the stressful early part of the story.

snatcher doesnt like looking at himself in this AU. He’s very self-conscious about his “pathetic human body.” He doesn’t like being pitied and he doesnt like being seen as weak.

snatcher frequently has nightmares about his past.

after recieving the mailman hat, people start refering to him as The Mailman. Link

his voice frequently cracks a lot, especially in the beginning, since he keeps trying to use his Loud Ghost Voice, which can do a number on human vocal chords. Link

the kids bully him constantly Link Link Link

his arc is that he learns that it’s ok to be human and it’s ok to be vulnerable and to open up to people, and he learns to accept his past and who he used to be

the girls accidentally call him dad sometimes, which freaks him out at first, but he gets used to it eventually. Link

he adopts them, for sure, it just happens post- whatever ending.

beard. Link

Spin-off AUs, Alt Endings, and Fanfics, Oh My!:

That ending where habijob kills moonjumper  Moonjumper goes to fight Vanessa, alone. In one version they win, and in another, they lose, and snatcher has to return to ghost form to retrieve them from the horizon. by @habijob  Link Link Link 

From The Horizon fic by @greentrickster Link

@lindendragon‘s hypothetical endings where snatcher is captured by vanessa Link Link

@fedoraspooky‘s spinoff au where the timepiece takes him back even further and turns him into a kid Link Link

@positive-polygons‘s Vanessa Spinoff Link

@doodleimprovement‘s Royal ending Link

@erekiosuncreativeideas​‘s fanfic, Being Human, her version of the au’s story in chronological order starting from when he breaks the timepiece Link

@lemonadesoda​’s Fanfic series, And I Don’t Think You Hate This As Much As You Wish You Did, fills in and expands upon the ideas in  my comics for the AU Link

[duuhrayliegh]

watch your six - part five

pairing: eventual bucky x reader (they’re together in the next chapter i stg)

warnings: language (several f bombs bc i feel like bucky would be liberal w them), sam and bucky being little shits, bad nicknames, 

word count: just under 2500

a/n: long awaited but it’s finally here! i’m super proud of this one :) i hope y’all like it also this was the first time i’ve written something like this so constructive criticism please. i hope i did the characters justice 

p.s.: my requests are still open babes! i’m working on the next part of this series and also possibly continuing TFCL ;) my tag lists are still open as well

please like and reblog if you enjoyed the story 

xoxo ray

series m.list

ray’s m.list

***********************************

The tension in the room was palpable. “What do you mean you know her, Buck?” Steve questioned. Bucky’s eyes were flitting around the room, landing on each face of bewilderment. He honestly didn’t know what he meant but that, it kind of just came out. Where the fuck did that come from? Who is this woman?

“Uh, hello? What’s going on in that cyborg brain of yours?” Sam interjected quickly, to which he received a sharp glare from both Bucky and Steve. Sam shrugged his shoulders and a quiet snort was heard from across the room.

“He’s got a point, Terminator.” Tony said as he plopped himself into one of the rollie chairs. “You can’t just say something like that and then not explain it.” Bucky’s brows furrowed and he expelled a grunt as his response to Tony.

“Bucky, you’ve got to give us something to go on here.” Natasha said calmly as she eyed an increasingly agitated Bucky.

Since coming back from Wakanda and being brought into the compound, Steve, Sam and Natasha have learned how to read Bucky. Steve has always been able to read the one hundred and six year old, they have shared life experience. Natasha was is a trained master assassin, trained in the Red Room by the Winter Soldier. One of her most valuable skills is her ability to read the emotions of anyone around her. And Sam, well he still leads a support group down at the VA. Being a war-torn veteran himself, he knows what it’s like to have to deal with the memories.

“Look, I don’t know what I meant by it.” Bucky finally said, throwing his hands above his head in exasperation. “It just came out, ya know? I didn’t process it before I said it and now, it’s out there. And to top it off, I don’t have the fucking memories there to back it up. They’re definitely there, but they aren’t just presenting themselves to me on a silver platter.” The group around him silenced.

Bucky was known for being the quiet, brooding type. His murder stare was comically famous around the compound. Sam constantly picked on Bucky about it, so hearing the man spout more than a few words at a time was a shocking experience for all of them.

“You know, there is a way that we can know what even your own mind doesn’t want you to know.” Tony said, darting his eyes over to Steve, who stood stoically in front of the large monitor.

“Goddamn, Tony! We said this isn’t an episode of FRIENDS!” Sam shouted.

“He won’t like that Tony. You know he won’t.” Natasha cut in quickly.

“But, if it works and it tells us if this woman knows anything, then it’s worth a shot.” Tony shot back.

“Tony. No. He’s already been through that and you want to subject him to it again?” Bucky was listening intently to their conversation, trying to figure out what they were referring to.  Natasha seemed adamant that Bucky would not be a fan of whatever it was. Tony, as usual, couldn’t care less.

“What are we talking about?”

“Wanda.”

“Who’s Wanda again?”

“She’s the witch.”

“We have a witch on our team? That’s not possible, there’s no such thing as witches and wizards.”

“Uh, yeah there is, cyborg.”

“No, there's not bird brain.”

“Yeah. There is, dumbass. She’s the one who does the hand thing and then there’s the crazy red glow around her? She’s got long hair? Dating the android?”

“There’s an android on the team?” Bucky was still getting to know everyone on the team, but he was positive he would know if there was a fucking android on the team.

“Yeah, the guy with the yellow glowy thing embedded in his forehead? Do you pay attention at all, Bucky? He’s dating Wanda, the witch with the red glowy hand thing?” Sam was waving his hands in front of his face and gesturing to his forehead.

“There’s no fucking way. Steve? Is there an android on the team?” Bucky turned to Steve, expecting an answer. All of the sudden, a red mass phased through the wall behind Steve. Vision appeared, looking quizzically around the room.

“Did someone ask for me?” His British accent carried through the room, once again causing the room to silence and turn to Bucky. Bucky’s lips were pursed, disgruntled that Sam was once again right in their little squabbles.

“Alright fine, but there’s not a witch right?”

“If you’re referring to Ms. Maximoff, then no. She simply manipulates molecular polarity allowing her to alter the reality around her.” Vision said it as if Bucky was meant to understand it. When in reality, Bucky was still getting over the fact fangirling that there was an android talking to him.

“However, if calling her a witch makes you more comfortable,” Vision paused and turned towards the doorway on the other end of the room, “I believe you should ask her permission before doing so.” He raised his hand causing Bucky to follow its direction.

“Hey Tony. Friday said you wanted to see me?” Wanda glided into the room, doing a quick survey of its occupants. Her gaze eventually landed on the vibrant being beside Steve. “Vis, you left in the middle of us making dinner. We’ve talked about that.”

“Yes, do forgive me, my love. However, I believe your expertise is required outside of the kitchen.” Wanda’s orbs flicked to Steve’s first and then to Tony’s, waiting for instructions.

“We want you to go inside Barnes’ mind and retrieve memories about someone for us.” Tony stated plainly. Bucky’s eyes widened and his fear grew. She can do that? Who the fuck was going to tell me that? Can she read my mind too? Is she listening now?

“That’s not exactly how it works, Tony.”

“It doesn’t matter because I never agreed to that, Stark.” Bucky said firmly. He was tired of his brain being put in a blender. He was finally getting comfortable in his own body again. He was gaining more and more control over his mind every day. Granted, he wasn’t sleeping because of the nightmares.

No, not nightmares, because of the memories. Why the fuck would he willingly subject himself to that during the daylight? No, his pain, though constant, was only to be shown at night, when he was completely alone and there’s no chance that he could hurt anyone else.

“If this is the only way that we can know for sure, then we need to do it.” Tony pushed, “You know I’m right, Cap. After what happened with the Sokovia Accords, even though they aren’t monitoring us as closely as they could be, they’re still watching. And if we storm in there without any good reason to, then it’s our asses on the line.”

“Hey, I don’t remember giving you authority over my brain. So what the fuck gives you the right to try and get me to do this shit?” Bucky stood as he spoke, “You’re heroes, goddamn it. It’s your fucking job to save people who need you to. So you should fucking do it. With or without a goddamn reason, you prick.” He shoved the chair away from him and stormed out of the room, passed Wanda who watched with a pained expression.

“He’s right, Tony.” Steve said quietly.

“About what, Cap?”

“We shouldn’t have to have a reason to do our jobs.”

“All I’m saying is that if he has information about this woman that could help us, we need to know it.” Tony glanced back to Wanda, “What if he’s enhanced like Wanda and Pietro and we go in there guns blazing. What happens if she perceives us as a threat? What then Cap?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Tony.” Steve was the Captain, so ultimately it was his decision. This left Tony incredibly unsatisfied, giving him a reason to implement a plan of his own. “We leave tonight. Be ready to leave in three hours.”

The room emptied quickly, everyone having their own rituals to do before departing on a mission. Steve and Sam were the last to remain in the room. “Do you really think this is a good idea?” Sam asked in a hushed whisper.

“It’s the only one I got, Sam.”

“Are you going to let him come on the mission?” Steve made a face as he clenched his jaw. “I mean, Tony has a point. If he knows something, I think we should try to figure out what it is.”

“We can’t ask him to do that, Sam. You know we can’t.”

“I’m not saying that we should, but if you bring him on this mission and he remembers something in the heat of the moment?” Sam turned his body to fully face Steve, “What are we going to do then?” Sam brought up a valid point, but Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to stop Bucky from coming on the mission.

“Like I said, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

********************************

It was somewhat therapeutic for Bucky to be sharpening his knives. He sat quietly on one of the overstuffed couches in the compound’s common area. A wide array of matte black knives was laid out on the coffee table in front of him. He held one in his hand, raking it against a damp stone to create a slick silver edge on the blade. His solitude didn’t last long, not that he expected it to, especially here in the compound.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve ever formally met. I’m Wanda.” She stuck her hand out for Bucky to shake which he did, with great caution. There is no telling what this woman is capable of. I don’t need to get too comfortable with her.

“Bucky.” He kept his replies short, in the hopes of deterring her from wanting to interact with him. He knows that is exactly what Steve and his therapist in Wakanda told him to stop doing, but that’s irrelevant.

“I know what Tony was suggesting for us to do isn’t ideal, Bucky.” Bucky shuddered unintentionally, his fear rolling off of him in waves. “I just wanted to let you know, I would never do that to you. Not unless you asked me to and even then I don’t know if I would.” Bucky turned his head to face her. She seemed sincere, but then again people are always rotten on the inside.

“I promise, I won’t.”

“I’ve heard one too many promises in my day, Wanda.” He shifted back to his original task, flipping another knife into the palm of his hand and dragging it along the stone. Wanda nods and lifts herself to her feet, about to retreat to the kitchen.

“It’s the nightmares, isn’t it?” Bucky froze mid-drag, eyes boring holes into the table in front of him, not responding to Wanda. “The reason you don’t want me in your head?”

“What do you know of nightmares, witch?” Bucky sneered defensively.

“You would be surprised what I know of nightmares, Bucky.” She approached the back of the couch, curling her hands around the plush fabric. “My brother, Pietro, and I, volunteered for the experiments with HYDRA.” Bucky whipped his head around to face her, immediately registering her on a higher threat level. She lifted her right hand and a glowing red ball danced between her fingers as dynamic vines licked up her palm.

“We thought that they were there to help after everything that we went through in Sokovia.” Her accent thickened with each word, “After Stark’s bomb didn’t go off, we thought it meant we were destined to take him down. So we went to the closest freedom fighter group we could find.”

Bucky watched as she dropped her hand, the red energy dissipating immediately. “We weren’t the only ones, though. There were hundreds of us. Pietro and I just so happened to be the ones that were able to withstand what they put us through.” Their eyes met, gaze holding as she continued speaking. “Then, I watched their future. And in their ideal future, we weren’t there. None of us. No Avengers or enhanced people. No humans whatsoever.” She swallowed thickly, “That’s when we knew they lied. We had suspicions earlier, but we just did what we were told so we could get what we wanted.”

“What exactly did you want?”

“We wanted Stark dead.” She held Bucky’s eyeline. “But now, my brother is dead. And all I want is to see HYDRA's downfall at my hands.” She glanced back down at her hands, “What Tony wanted me to do,” hesitating as she continued, “I know he just wants me to go through your memories and pick out the ones specific to Agent Libra, but that’s not how it works.” Bucky looked at her and then leaned back into the couch cushions, gesturing for her to continue. “The way that I would go about that would be to have you experience the whole thing over again.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean,” Wanda sucked in a deep breath, “It’s like a lucid dream. Your body would be moving and you wouldn’t be in control of it. Any action that you did at that particular moment in history would be reenacted exactly as it occurred.”

“So, if I were to do this, it would be like I was the Soldier again?”

“If that’s what it felt like, then yes.” A shiver ran up Bucky’s spine, he definitely didn’t want that. “I just wanted you to know what you would be getting yourself into if you did decide to allow me access to your memories.” A stiff nod was all she received in return.

He knows she’s just trying to be nice but he can’t help but want to run away and hide in a dark room. Bucky has been through so much because of that freedom fighter organization, he couldn’t fathom people actually volunteering their bodies for their twisted scientific experiments.

“Thanks for letting me know, Ms. Maximoff.” Even though Bucky wanted nothing to do with this woman next to him, his mother still raised him to be respectful of everyone.

“Oh, you can call me Wanda.” She smiled as she began her approach to the kitchen yet again. One thing was still nagging Bucky and he had to know the answer.

“Hey, quick question Wanda.” She stopped and turned to face him, sending a small hum in question towards him. “Are you a witch?”

Her head tilted thoughtfully, “Yes, I am.” She left it at that, leaving Bucky with wide eyes and a mouth that was hanging open. Goddamn it, I fucking hate it when Sam is right.

*****************************

watch your six tag list

@indigo123789 @austynparksandpizza 

[hobixboo]

Autumn Leaves Appreciation

PREFACE

There are four themes for this month’s Words By Bangtan: Self-fulfilment, Memories, Festival, and Victory. Once again, while I am sure there are plenty of other words spoken and/or sung by Bangtan that conveys this message, I am going to be focusing on the song “Autumn Leaves (Dead Leaves)” from their 2015 album The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 2. This is just a paper expressing my appreciation for the themes and messages in the song, and so if my thoughts and connection seem confusing, I apologize. As before, I will try to stay as formal as possible and if anyone has any challenges to what I am going to say in this paper, please reach out to me.

Kennedy (Ken)

@hobixboo

Autumn Leaves is a song produced by SUGA (and Slow Rabbit) and was released in their 2015 EP, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Part 2. It could be that the most beautiful moment in life is youth since the album is a part of the Youth Trilogy, but it is also possible that the most beautiful moment in life can happen at any moment, even in the present (a very important theme to be talked about in this paper). My mention of SUGA being the producer of this song is important to the meaning of the song, whether intentional or not, the connection still exists.

Min Yoongi was born on March 9th which makes his birth flower a larch. In RUN BTS episode 99, when talking about Yoongi’s birth flower, the larch, they obviously bring up that it reminds them of the song “Autumn Leaves/ Dead Leaves” (00:06:01). At first, I was confused as to why they brought up the song Autumn Leaves. Since I don’t know Korean, I thought it was just because Larches are deciduous conifers; plants that normally shed in Autumn. It was not just because larches are literally “autumn leaves” but because in Korean “Larch” translates to 낙엽송. 낙엽, meaning falling leaves (which happens during autumn), and 송 which is konglish for “song”. The joke seems to be that it was fate for Yoongi to make a song about dry, autumn, falling leaves. According to Genius’ title description of the song “the actual title, “고엽 ” (ko-yeop), literally meaning dry dead leaves, is not a commonly used word. It sounds very formal, and very gloomy, and reminiscent of few dry brown dead leaves remaining at the end of autumn”. The term reminiscent was used so naturally, I looked more into that word as well. To reminisce means to indulge in enjoyable recollections of past events. Revisiting memories for the purpose of improving current mood and gaining optimism is what the song Autumn Leaves is about. The song is also about being able to go back in time, before you completely lost every bit of yourself so that you can enjoy that time, because in the present you may be barely holding on, like leaves on a tree before the end of autumn.

The song uses the connection that leaves have to a tree and almost personifies it to refer to a relationship that a person may have with most likely a significant other (indicated by the terms of endearment: “baby”, and “my/ this love” in the post-chorus). It is unknown who the significant other is but using the context that BTS has made this song, it’s possible that ARMY being an endearing significant counterpart to the lives of BTS, might be the relationship that is being referred to here, but this can have many other interpretations such as general relationships between people or the relationship within oneself. Despite the interpretation of who the speaker may be talking to, the lyrics express how hard it is to hold on given the inevitability of falling.

The reason I say falling is inevitable is not only because all leaves fall eventually in Autumn but because in BTS’ 2017 hidden track song “Sea”, there is the repetition of “wherever there’s hope, there’s despair” (doolset). Although the majority of the song pleads to not leave and to not fall, to hold onto positivity even if it is fading, Namjoon acknowledges that “my love must fall in order to rise”. I could connect this to the theme “Self-fulfilment” because this line could be saying that some relationships might need to be broken in order to improve oneself but again, the “love” being referenced in the lyrics could depend. Could the love talked about be their love of youth? Is it that letting go of the baggage from youth could make you more prosperous? While there may be hope that holding on can turn out to be worthwhile in the end, there will always be despair to tag along, but it may be more straining and stressful than letting go.

The most obvious connection that Autumn Leaves has to the Words By Bangtan themes is to the theme “Memories”. It is a word used explicitly in the lyrics (“inside my memories I become young again”- RM) but the idea of a memory is said implicitly as well (“The subtle (ambiguous) difference from how it was before”- SUGA). The song is not just about memories, but more so, positive memories that come from a particular season: Autumn Nostalgia. Nostalgia, as defined by David Ludden, is the “bittersweet emotion we experience when we think back to a past experience that was better than the life we’re currently leading”. It is possible that the fall season serves as a “retrieval cue” to bring about feelings of nostalgia (like the weather changing from hot to cold or the smell of pumpkin spice in the air). The reason I say Autumn Leaves is more positive in its recollection of memories, despite the lyrics talking about a lack of strength to hold on, is because the lyrics acknowledge that the past was better. With lines such as “I can’t catch you anymore”, “your words and expressions that become cold… our relationship is fading”, “Compared to before, tonight is much quieter”or “I want the you that wants me again”, the speaker is longing for the relationship that was warm and full of life, like the season before (relationship again being left up to interpretation (ie. longing for a self that is more full of life, whose words were less cold towards others, etc)). While remembering that there are good things in the world (and in yourself) is a good thing, it is not what Namjoon is saying we should let go of (since those memories can be self-fulfilling).

I believe Namjoon is saying not to dwell or hold onto things you know you are supposed to eventually lose. We shouldn't let our past, whether good or bad, stop us from living in the present and making new beautiful moments. This could also be why the last line of the chorus is saying “Don't go far away” instead of just “Don’t go away”. It accepts that one may have to leave but as long as they don't go far, they will be able to return. By revisiting memories and not getting caught up in them, one may be able to catch themselves from hitting the ground and completely shattering. Nostalgia can be a good thing if it makes you happy when you are feeling low, but being stuck in an unchangeable past, or on a “branch that does not shake”, one may “constantly fall on their own”. All nostalgia can do is “dampen sadness” momentarily but life still goes on. Even if life were to continue on as bad, it won't be as bad (Ludden) and like the lyrics suggest, even if you fall, you won’t fall far.

It is almost as if after acknowledging that one may need to fall in order to rise again, the repeated “never fall” at the end takes on a new meaning. Towards the end it seems more self-encouraging, almost to say “even if the present is difficult, never let yourself get to the point of shattering. Remind yourself of the most beautiful moments of your youth, but don't stay there”. With a message like this, it makes more sense as to why the song was included in the Young Forever Compilation album but also why it was placed as the second to last song on the original album (House of Cards being the outro surrounding what happens after this realization in Autumn Leaves). Right before the end of youth, BTS are reminding others (and themselves) that while youth may be over, and trials in life may seem like they are getting worse, never fall and keep yourself together a little more (House of Cards) as there is another season to look forward to.