#i have no idea if you watch the gay pirate show but i hope you enjoy this

[piedoesnotequalpi]

well i cant NOT ask about garbage can ft bikes - @pigeonwit

(WIP ask game!)

Congratulations! You have hit the one non-Newsies document!

Okay, so imagine it's 2022 and the gay pirate show is taking the interwebs by storm. I was new to writing fanfiction, and was very embarrassed by this fact, so all my documents/folder names had a reference to me being a garbage man in a garbage can (...I've grown).

Somewhere in all of this, I saw a post talking about how OFMD would lend itself well to an AU where Ed and Stede are in rival biker gangs, which then led to someone drawing a little comic where Ed and Stede were both stopped at a light, and Stede was riding a road bike and wearing a matching chamois and jersey, and Ed was on a motorcycle. I am an occasional mountain biker, so this gave me ideas.

Basically, Stede and his crew are all road bikers (roadies) together, and while some of them are strong roadies individually, they are very bad at doing group roadie activities, like pace lines and pelotons (not the overpriced stationery bikes). Stede is very excited about all his fun little outfits, Black Pete is whining about how this isn't as cool as mountain biking, Jim and Oluwande are vaguely competent, etc. etc. etc.

Meanwhile, Ed and co. are all mountain bikers, specifically downhill mountain bikers. They're also very into the aesthetic, but they're all in plain black gear, flat shoes (nothing that looks like a clipless pedal roadie shoe because being a roadie is for nerds, obviously), and of course Pit Viper sunglasses. They pretty much only do cross-country mountain biking when they have to; they have season passes to the local ski-area-turned-bike-park, probably because at least one of them works there. One day, Ed decides that it would be a good idea to start doing more cross-country biking (i.e. actually pedaling uphill) so he can get stronger and improve his downhill skills, but Izzy thinks that's a stupid idea.

I was a little fuzzy on how Ed and Stede would actually meet, but the possibilities were:

Ed goes off without Izzy, decides to bike to his local trail network instead of driving his bike over, and encounters Stede and co. on the road and nearly rides into traffic because he's so distracted by this ridiculous turquoise man. He decides he'll get his contact information through Black Pete, since he recognizes Pete in the group.

Pete convinces Stede to try mountain biking, and they happen to try it out at the same time Ed, Ivan, and Fang are doing some cross-country biking.

I don't have a super strong grasp on speech patterns/characterization for the OFMD crew, and I am also not super familiar with how roadies are as people, so between that and all the Newsies stuff I never got around to writing this. But I think it's a fun concept!

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/15/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew; Samba; Guz; Lube As A Crew; GLAAD Awards; Fan Spotlight; Ari Azure's Renew As A Crew (Act Of Grace); Big Gay Energy Podcast; Cast Cards; SchadenFreude; Watch Parties; In Soup Now; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

== Samba Schutte BTS ==

Samba was kind enough to grace us with more BTS today. Some pictures and a lot of videos!

CW: Fake Blood and Gore

Video 1: Vico Freaking out over the outfittings

Video 2: Cursed Ship On Deck

Video 3: Revenge Crew Jumping On Deck from Back

Video 4: Bloody

Video 5: Geo-met-ery

Video 6: More On Deck

== Guz Khan ==

Guz Khan's got some upcoming shows! If you're in NYC or LA, feel free to check him out this April! Tickets

== Final Lube As A Crew ==

It was a fun and sad day with our crewmates over at @astroglideofficial. The Social Media conductor was having a lovely time, but obviously was bittersweet with it ending. Here's some highlights from the watch party. To see more visit their twitter. If I get some time this weekend i'll try to put all the lube as a crew stuff together on the repo so you can see it all, just not gonna get to it tonight. I tried to get the timeline in order.. if not, apologies!

== GLAADforOFMD==

So in case it comes up.. there was some drama with some other fandoms regarding GLAAD today on Twitter. The TLDR; version is, some tweets went out regarding how disappointed we were about Ted Lasso winning out over Our Flag Means Death for Outstanding Comedy Series. Somehow, Yellowjackets fandom, who won a different category Outstanding Drama Series somehow got the idea that OFMD fans were complaining about Yellowjackets winning. It was corrected multiple times by multiple people but they kept coming. So yeah, twitter being twitter, not a great time. Sending love to @koneko_army and any other crewmates who had to deal with it.

If you wanna see the GlaadWinners visit The Hollywood Reporter

If you really wanna see the whole thread, you can visit Koneko's Twitter but honestly I don't recommend it, I wasn't even part of it and it stresses me out reading it.

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Ari Azure's Renew As A Crew =

Ari Azure's Renew As A Crew (Act of Grace) song came out today!

Tumblr Post

= Big Gay Energy Podcast =

New Big Gay Energy Podcast dropped!

= Cast Cards =

Our crewmate @melvisik has spotlighted one of our dearest friends Dominic Burgess this time! Starting to round out the collection! Thanks hon!

== Schaden Freude ==

Still trending downward! Great job fam!

== Watch Parties ==

Mar 17th: The Boat That Rocked AKA Pirate Radio Watch Party

7:30 pm GMT / 3:30 pm EST / 1:30 pm CST

Watch Party Hashtags:

PirateRadio 

AdoptOurCrew

SaveOFMD

OurFlagMeansWatchAlong

Mar 18 - Mar 22: Wrecked Season 3

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd. 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

== In Soup Now ==

In Soup Now is back! Post your soups/stews/recipes with!

#InSoupNow

#SaveOFMD

#LongLiveOFMD

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies. Another week has passed. I really hope it wasn't too hard on you-- and if you're off to work tomorrow too, that you get some semblance of rest soon. Sometimes it feels like we're too small to make a difference, or we don't know enough, or we're not pretty enough, or we're not strong enough. Or we're not enough of something, whatever it happens to be. But you know what? You do plenty. You are plenty. You are plenty beautiful, and plenty strong, and plenty full of life, and plenty knowledgeable, and you make plenty of a difference. You make a difference every day, in our lives, and the lives around you. I hope you get some rest and tomorrow you get to see even a glimpse of awesome you truly are. Take care lovelies <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's theme is DRINKIES!

Darby Gif Courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome

Taika Gif Courtesy of @caribbean1989

[edgeray]

Part 1: Sweeter Than Wine(Nico Robin x Fem! Reader)

Part 2

A/N: First post on here :3. This is the culmination of me when I was downbad for like two nights straight. Can you tell how gay I am? This is just 2k words of self-indulgence, I love Miss All Sunday so much, there needs to be more content on her. Who doesn't love a sexy cowgirl?

Warnings: Reader uses female pronouns, Robin may be OOC, Reader is also highkey downbad (I'm sorry, I was projecting), alcohol drinking, pet names(?), if there is more that needs to be added to this please feel free to tell me

Chatter, laughter, and the smell of alcohol filled your senses as you sat on the bar stool, enjoying your drink in one of the bars at Whiskey Peak. Your pinky tapped against the glass of your cup repeatedly as boredom filled your mind. Despite all the drinking and hooligans surrounding you, nothing about all of this was entertaining to you. After all, this happened almost every other week. Naive pirates would come to Whiskey Peak after having just gone through Reverse Mountain and get ambushed by the hundred or so bounty hunters. Then it'd be the end of those little pirates’ journey before it really even started. It was honestly pitiful, and quite frankly, you've long grown tired of throwing up a party and a facade for every unfortunate pirate that stopped by. You were tired of these events even though you yourself were a bounty hunter. 

Another pirate crew crushed, what a pity, she sighed as she watched as an orange-haired girl and a moss-headed swordsman drank nearly the entire bar dry. Silence and solitude surrounded you, feeling an empty void within. With a sigh, you turned to your glass and twisted your wrist to observe the swirling of the liquid. 

At first, you didn't notice her when she entered the bar. No one did. But then there began whispers of awe and admiration and that was when you finally looked up from your drink. 

Your heart halted in your chest as your eyes laid upon the woman who sat herself a few seats away from you. You immediately related to all the dumbstruck stares from your fellow Millions, because how could you not have been infatuated at first glance? Pitch-black shoulder-length straight hair, sun-kissed skin, a skimpy outfit that did wonders in showing her goddess-like stature, and the sexiest cowboy boots and hat met your eyes. But what drew you in wasn't just her physical appearance but the aura that she gave. Seductive confidence exuded from her form and sitting posture even as admirers (including you) ogled at her. 

It felt wrong to be staring at her so openly but you couldn't help it–the more you observed her the more she captivated you. 

You were never a believer of love-at-first-sight but this had to be pretty damn close. Warmth began to blossom within your abdomen the longer your attention lingered on the new woman and your ears burned at the realization of all the thoughts you were having as you continued to watch her. You snapped your head away from the woman finally when your fantasies became more lewd and you tried to wash those erotic ideas away with your glass of alcohol. You shouldn't be thinking those things for a woman you've never even met, you scolded yourself, shame overwhelming your being. You closed your eyes and tried to shuffle your thoughts on the woman away, hoping for the pitter-patter of your heart to similarly be shooed off.

“Can I buy you a drink?” A low, sultry, feminine purred beside you, the kind of voice that instantly made you want to fold yourself in half. Your eyes flew open as you spun your head towards the direction of the voice and your heart jumped out of your chest when the woman you were fawning over was seated adjacent to you. It's the first time you were able to get a glance at her face and heat instantaneously swarmed your cheeks, your breath hitching at the sight. Soul-piercing ocean blue eyes stare back into you, a smirk played on her perfect lips as she leaned her cheek against her hand, which was propped up by her elbow on the counter. Her body was turned towards you while she leaned against the bar counter so that your eyes could roam freely over her entire front. Her body language oozed with unwavering sensual assurance and from the way she's smirking at you, she most definitely knew it. You desperately attempted to stop your focus from wandering down, knowing if you did you'd probably see her cleavage and at this point, you weren't sure if you'd risk a stroke in front of her just to see it. 

“Yes,” you nervously stammered out and a low rumble reverberated from the ravenette's throat as she chuckled. It's music to your ears and you just want to hear it again. She turned to the bartender and requested two glasses of red wine while you instinctively slouched upon feeling the envious weight of other Millions’ stares on your back. 

"I hope you don't mind wine, I prefer my drinks on the sweeter side," the alluring woman stated, her smirk growing just a bit when she faced you. 

"No, wine is good," you shake your head dumbly, feeling humiliated by your lackluster response. "Thank you," you remember to thank her a moment later. 

"Of course. How could I stop myself from buying a drink for such a cute little thing," she replied with a voice laced with honey as she beamed back at you. 

You flushed and turned your head away to hide the abashed expression on your face. Your body can't help but be filled with ecstasy at the compliment and your knees couldn't have ached more to be on the floor in front of her. However, you couldn't divert your attention from her for long when she reached out her hand to grasp onto your chin and forcibly but gently tilted your head up towards her gorgeous face again. 

"Don't be so shy. I don't bite, I promise. Unless you want me to," the woman whispered as she leaned close to your face, the distance between you only a few inches apart. Her thumb stroke across your bottom lip and impulsively, your tongue swiped against her thumbpad. While embarrassment smacked you across the face, the woman's smile only grew more. 

Her next words had you nearly falling out of your seat. "Good girl," she purred and something inside of you stirred. 

"What's your name, sweet thing?" She asked as her thumb repeatedly caressed your lip in a circular motion. Like an idiot, your words stumbled over as you tried to recall your name for a second.

"It's nice to meet you. My name is Miss All Sunday." Her voice and every word were laced with syrup despite the shockingly big reveal to you. 

"Miss All Sunday?" You repeated quietly as you remembered faintly that Miss All Sunday was the vice-president of Baroque Works. Your world stopped spinning as you came to the realization that you were majorly crushing on one of your bosses, the second highest on the ladder as a matter of fact. You've heard of her, through the rumors of other Millions–how ruthless and powerful she is, yet all you've been fantasizing about is if she's the same way in bed. Oh, how she could snap you in two and you'd thank her, wouldn't you, you taunted yourself in resignation. 

"What are you doing here?" You wondered out loud, compelling yourself to rid of all the lewd thoughts. 

"There's something I need to take care of here. But it can wait for a little bit, I couldn't help but catch a glimpse of beauty in my eyes," the vice president commented. Your entire face flushed at the compliment. The hand on your chin wandered down and her fingertips scraped against your neck, then down to your shoulders, to your sides, and grazed against your hip until it rested upon your thigh. Your thighs clenched tightly against one another and the reaction amused her. Feather light warm touches danced on your skin as it sent tingles of pleasure throughout your body. 

A shuddering sigh left you and you're silently begging for her in your eyes, for more of her, for the entirety of her. You want to greedily soak up everything she can give you and more. She momentarily turned her gaze away from you once the glasses of wine arrived and a disappointed whimper involuntarily escaped your throat. Your pathetic noise earned you a few squeezes on your thigh. 

"Would you like a sip?" She inquired as she held onto a glass in her other hand. You nodded slightly and reached out your hand, however, she didn't pass the glass to you. Instead, she brought the glass to her lips and had a sip. She leaned in and using the hand on your thigh as support, she closed the distance between you. 

One moment, your lips were bare and cold, and the next, it was met with Miss All Sunday's mouth. You gasped into the kiss and the vice president used the opportunity to pour the red wine from her mouth into yours. The sweet flavor of the beverage overwhelmed your taste buds while the woman in front of you fervently pressed her mouth against yours, each kiss deep like she was savoring the sensation of your lips. Her tongue danced on your lips to request entrance and you swallowed the drink she so generously offered you to allow her in. She immediately dominated your mouth, her tongue exploring every nook and cranny without so much of a struggle from you. You moaned softly against her and tried to press yourself closer to the woman. 

The heat in your stomach exponentially grew and the sensuality of it all only made you want to surrender yourself to the woman more. One hand uselessly gripped onto her arm while your other hand clenched around the seat of your chair. Meanwhile, Miss All Sunday's other hand found her way behind your head, making it impossible to escape from the kiss as she ensured you were as close to her as possible. Not that you'd want to escape of course. 

You wanted to memorize every texture of her soft lips that unrelentlessly ravished you. It's the sweetest, most relishing thing to you, sugarier than any dessert you've devoured, and more decadent than the most gourmet of meals. And you were getting this for free? You wanted more, no, you needed more, damn the lightheadedness that began to settle in your head. It’s intoxicating the way she took over all your senses, the way you're disarmed with just one kiss, the way she has your entire form trembling, the way your mind is filled with the eternal necessity that is her. She stole your breath not because she's not allowing you to breathe but because suddenly your oxygen supply is Miss All Sunday. But then her mouth leaves your lips and it's only then that you realize you need to breathe oxygen. You gaze at her with half-lidded eyes and a bit of drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, and you can tell that she's pleased with the mess she's reduced you to. 

“M-miss,” you mumbled, hungry for more. You were drunk off of her kiss.

“You want more? What an insatiable girl,” she coyly smirked before her eyes scanned around her surroundings. “Looks like we've gained an audience.” 

Her last statement sobered you up a little and you too looked around and saw many of the bar's customers scrutinizing you in covetousness. You ducked your head in mortification but the vice president of Baroque Works only chuckled, and she raised a hand to her purple felt hat. “How rude of them to intrude into a private show.” 

Her fingers clasped on the brim of the hat and she removed it from her head, before bringing it to the side of your face, essentially creating a shield from the onlookers. You pondered why she was doing that before she leaned in, this time her lips more aggressively crashing against yours and you were caught off by surprise again. Her free hand that was once on your hand cupped your cheek gently, trailing her thumb over your skin. The way that her hat censored the passionate moment from everyone else in the bar only makes it so much more intimate–like a secret shared between just the two of you. It made your heart flutter excitedly; Miss All Sunday, for all how powerful she is and for all she could easily obtain just for being Baroque Work's vice president, was focusing solely on you and you alone. You were the only one that captured her attention and she was kissing you stupid again, making the rest of your world so trivial when she had you in her hold.

It seemed like hours before she parted from your lips, a string of saliva connecting the two of you as you panted for air. Her cerulean eyes softened when she took in the entirety of your expression and she licked her lips sensually. “You're so sweet. Such a good girl.”

“Sweeter than wine."

And she drew you in again. 

---

I have a sequel to this. Might post it if I feel like.

[filmy939]

Our Flag Means Death: The Queer Pirate Show That Completely Altered My Brain Chemistry

It was early spring 2022, and a dear old friend came to spend the night. She came inside, put her stuff down, turned to me, and said, “There’s a new show I just heard about. It has gay pirates; we’re watching it.” I was a bit hesitant at first. I couldn't tell you why. But, seeing how excited she was, I put my hesitancy aside. With this decision made, we poured a few cocktails, made our favorite dinner (pasta with a yummy homemade pesto), queued up the show, and my life was subsequently changed forever.

David Jenkins and his team of outstanding writers have created a show filled to the brim with love, acceptance, kindness, and humor. Our Flag Means Death follows wealthy landowner Stede Bonnet. Fed up with the monotony of his life, he abandons his wife and children in the middle of the night to become a pirate. While at sea, he finds a new family in his hilariously incompetent crew. Stede, who has quite frankly an impressive lack of skills, often gets himself and his crew into trouble. Which inevitably catches the eye of Edward-heart-eyes-Teach, the infamous dread pirate Blackbeard. Who also happens to be fed up with the monotony of his life. Ed and Stede fall hard and fast for each other (which is absolutely mesmerizing to watch). For as long as they both have been alive, they have had the idea that they are unlovable monsters who deserve to end up all alone. But, once they find each other, that idea, that story that they had about themselves, quickly begins to fall apart at the seams. By the end of season two, they have fully started to accept that they are worthy and deserving of love, no matter their scars or demons. And that is one of the main themes in this show. No matter how many scars you have, the demons you have to face, or what you have gone through in your past, you are worthy and deserving of love. To be quite frank, I couldn't have discovered this show at a better, more pivotal time in my life.

Our Flag Means Death came out during the second semester of my sophomore year. Almost the entirety of that year was extremely dark. I had failed a class the previous semester and was at risk of losing the scholarship I had worked so hard for. I was working insane hours at a job I hated for a boss who could not care less about my well-being. I had convinced myself that most, if not all, of my peers in my major despised me (I know now that’s not the case at all). I was stressed beyond belief. If I were to be fully transparent, I felt that I was fully and wholly unlovable. And when I was in the deepest dark of that year, this treasure of a show, this lighthouse, gave me the hope and the push I needed to start working on how I view myself and those around me.

Fast-forward two years, and I am about to graduate. I have fully realized that I am not only deserving of receiving love but also of freely giving it. While I am deeply saddened that Our Flag was canceled, I know that its legacy and message will stand the test of time. Inspiring those who feel undeserving of love for generations to come.

[pearwaldorf]

I am starting a rewatch for the first time since S2 aired. It is absolutely incredible how much character growth they packed into 5ish hours, holy shit.

I have no idea what Jenkins's experience with Kiwi (and I would say specifically Maori Kiwi) media was before OFMD, but tonally it is a perfect match. The concept of a pirate themed workplace comedy fits right in with Wellington Paranormal and Flight of the Conchords (both Jemaine Clement joints as you know).

I honestly don't think this show would have worked without Rhys Darby. I know of no one else who could nail that combination and balance of absolute dumbass, utter insanity, and earnest sweetness. In the Muppet version of the show, Stede is played by Grover.

Random observations:

I find it rare that jokes land just as hard on subsequent rewatches, but this show delivers consistently. Stede's first pirating, Lucius doing the Pinocchio voice? Remains 👌🏼

Still love Lucius putting the pieces together regarding Stede being bullied by Nigel, and the heavy mental sigh he makes knowing he has to watch out for this dweeby baby gay because the freaks look after the other freaks

I keep forgetting how sad and awkward and lonely Stede is at the start of all this. I still find it genuinely distressing to think about how long he's spent hoping for somebody to understand him, even a tiny bit. He's come so far!!

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

…Does anybody else feel that What We Do in the Shadows has failed terribly at queer storytelling? Not even necessarily about character gender or sexuality but the like idea of it?

Like look at Our Flag Means Death even the romance aside Stede was a depressed man forced into an arranged marriage he wanted no part of, he lived a dull ordinary life that left him feeling empty. Then one day he buys a ship and becomes a pirate, we watch this man slowly fully become his true self. He dresses flamboyantly, he loves to read and write, he’s awkward and funny and bitchy, he’s romantic and violent and kind.

Look at Hannibal and specifically the journey of Will. Will is awkward, he can’t make eye contact in most conversations, he’s typically withdrawn and painfully awkward. Then through Hannibal and this complex horror Will becomes undone. He can stare you not just in the eye but deep into your soul, he stops fighting his darkness and instead embraces the beauty of it because he is no longer alone and judged. He can be violent, he can be artful and disturbed under the understanding gaze of Hannibal Lectar.

Look at Gotham and specifically Ed. Ed dresses in mute tones, he dotes and follows Harvey and Jim and Kristen mothering them in hopes of them becoming his friends only for all three to constantly find him irritating and unmanly “strange”. When he kills Tom he starts to change, he finally gets the girl and he becomes more social, more bold. After killing Kristen and befriending Oswald he changes more. Each time we see Ed he changes, he dresses in vibrant greens and is flamboyant and loud, he is no longer afraid of how others perceive him. The same goes for Oswald and his constant stages of reinvention as he learns through Ed and Fish Mooney to love himself.

These are stories while with queer stories and queer characters are also just in general stories about people who try desperately to play “normal” in order to be accepted by work and family and society to eventually end their stories covered in glitter and sometimes blood and free of the restraints of a world that shamed them.

….What We Do in the Shadows doesn’t do this.

Guillermo had two paths to bis truer self; become a vampire which was his allegory for freedom in his sexuality or embrace being a vampire slayer.

Becoming a vampire is shown as a horrible thing he instantly regrets and he retreats far into the fucking closet after one minute of it, but he also isn’t a slayer. Season four he dresses nice, he dresses in a way that seems free and more comfortable and confident but then immediately goes back to dressing like a grandfather and following Nandor and the others as their slave/pet. Guillermo does not have a story where he comes out the other end changed, freed, living his true self.

I know we still have one more season to go, but the show has fumbled for five seasons and has constantly been openly scared of allowing him to actually come out.

Which is frustrating because out of the shows listed here it is the one where everybody involved, Simms especially never shuts the fuck up about it being the most gay show to ever gay give us a trophy for being gay.

This isn’t about romance in Shadows or any of these shows either, this is solely about the allegory of the queer experience, of finding peace and freedom in who you really want to be and how Shadows keeps a firm chokehold on its characters refusing to let them change.

[epersonae]

I feel obligated to let you know that I haven't soldiered through the rest of season 1 of OFMD but I *did* recently have a dream where I did and the two episodes I watched were:

• Stede decided to go climb a mountain because it seems like a very Piratey thing to do. He gets about halfway up and then falls into a big cave where he finds the World's Biggest Toenail (like, car hood sized). He steals it only to discover it was actually part of Ed's secret treasure horde that was buried in the mountain. There is a tense chase scene, but Stede escapes after disguising himself as a stalagmite by doing a V-sit on the cave floor.

• Blackbeard and his pirates sack a pottery studio very slowly to make sure they don't break anything. Ed finds a little statuette he really likes but the clay hasn't been fired and he accidentally eats it. This is symbolic for something and it made me cry.

Afterwards, I continued dreaming that I woke up and told everyone I knew about how cool and intense these dream-episodes were, and people who had actually seen the rest of the show applauded my dream brain about how accurate and in-character they were.

A. I am IMPRESSED that you are still following me after the transit from TAZ to OFMD

B. I hope you finish at some point, it's good stuff.

C. I laughed so hard at the idea of these dream episodes, both the specific plots and the response of the dream-fans, that's some good shit.

Thank you for sharing with me, the gay pirates mutual!

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Elf on the shelf and pedo on the net

Merry Christmas/Holidays, everyone!

So I think you know what this post is going to be about. The one comic, that has become a christmas tradition at hypocrisy's blog.

Released mere days before Christmas of 2016 -which Dobson likely considered ruined, because it was Trumps first Christmas after he won the election 2016- the comic shows two male stripers, with one pondering that the reason he joined the profession, may be related to some rather “unsavoury” kinks he developed as a result of a Christmas tradition.

Now being from Europe, I myself didn’t even know of the “Elf on the Shelf” until I saw this comic. Though a quick google search made me realize, why that was: The entire idea of putting an elf doll on the shelf to “watch over the kid” wasn’t even a thing until a children book came out in 2004, that promoted the idea. The real take off of the Elf being around the first half of the 2010s and since then having managed to creep its way into the popcultural subconscious.

Yeah, if you can’t tell, I am not really a fan of that thing, based on the designs I saw. Also the idea of “surveilling” your children to see if they are naughty or nice feels rather creepy. And I grew up in a culture that accepts the idea of good old Saint Nicolas and his henchman Rudolph/Krampus putting the bad ones into their place via spanking or worse.

However, Dobson managed to make the concept even creepier by virtue of relating it to a masturbation punchline. Which in turn makes you just ponder, what the heck is wrong with Dobson?

So, let us just dissect this thing quick, before it sours any positive Christmas mood.

First, Dobson supposedly did the comic, because in his opinion the “Elf on the Shelf” sends a strange message to kids…

And to be fair, a lot of kids seemingly hate the creepy little doll and “experts” have called it out at being psychologically damaging. Going so far as to say the toy “normalizes” the concept of constant surveillance and that it would be okay. Which personally I think is a bit of a stretch, but not entirely inaccurate also. So making fun of the concept of the doll, totally okay with me. Heck, Teen Titans Go did an entire episode mocking the thing.

But Dobson’s attempt of making fun of it, just crosses into genuine creeper territory, for one simple reason: Sexualization of minors.

Look, I don’t believe Dobson is a pedophile -though his poor choice of wordings on twitter posts and certain aspects of art pieces can give the impression- and the situation Dobson shows in the comic is not explicitly pornographic. After all, we don’t see the kid like buttass naked pumping the bike pump while the elf stares. I now give you five minutes to hopefully delete that mental image with enough eggnog at your disposal.

But it still turns “sexual”…

An implication that is not very subtle for a couple of reasons.

First, the person asked and thinking back to the Christmas tradition is a male stripper. A job in the sex works. By the way, respect for people in that job (independent of the sex) for being able to work without feeling objectified (or too much) and managing to keep a decent body shape. Hope also for your safety out there.

Which I am not just saying because Dobson incidentally tries to mock male strippers in the comic in my opinion. After all, we all know Dobson hates men. And when men aren’t some MRA morons or fat misanthropic nerds, they can’t be anything but dumb male himbos or potentially depraved homosexuals who got kinky by perverting a Christmas children tradition.

Yeah, I am stretching here a bit, but we are talking about Dobson. The guy was always more than open to the idea of making gay men the butt of some joke in Alex ze Pirate.

Am I really supposed to believe he changed that attitude?

But back to the comic. The second reason why obvious the entire thing has sexual undertones as punchline… just look at that face

That is the face of someone masturbating under the blanket. The sultry eyes, the blush on his face, one hand under the cover while the other is above, bitting his lip… if that thing were animated, I bet the kid would be moaning and I could report Dobson to some authority.

And yeah, that is really what the entire creepiness of the comic boils down too. The face of the kid that leaves no other room for interpretation except “a sex pun, based on a “Christmas tradition” targeted at really small kids. With the final panel feeling like Dobson likely had a good laugh at his “joke”, thinking others would react the same.

Well, the reaction doesn’t seem to have been what Dobson hoped for, cause he would later release the following tweet.

Two things to that: First, I think the reason people were “confused” Dobson (confused likely means here, asked him if he is a pedo), was that they kinda didn’t want to think you were going into that “sexualized” territory because that would raise more red flags than you obsessing over KorraSami. And would have also felt rather out of character for you, cause of how prudish you become at the subject of sexualization.

Second, accusing others of lacking imagination and that therefore little things like that comic stump them. Dobbitch, I have read every major comic you ever made, if anyone lacks imagination, it is you. Your mental capacity for imagining stuff is lower than of a braindead person in a coma. And the fact that a self declared “child friendly” webartist focuses most of the time on the punchline “character X is thirsty”…

even if the character in question is underaged, makes me think you are enjoying Belgian porn on the sideline.

Overall, the comic is just creepy. But not in the way that it makes the doll itself creepy and therefore the butt of the joke. Rather it makes the artist behind the comic creepy, because he tries to imagine a scenario where that thing causes someone to spring their first boner.

The sad thing being, Dobson could have easily made the comic creepier and funnier at the same time, fi he just had put the focus of the comic on the puppet and not the kid. For example, of all the things in the world, I think Family Guy could make the joke of a creepy elf puppet work, if it played out like that: Lois puts an elf on the shelf for every kid in the house, including Chris.

Chris goes to bed, camera focuses on him, turning around, the puppet is cut off from you.

Chris says “good night”  to the elf.

Zoom out to show the shelf, now it is Herbert the creepy neighbour in an elf costume on the shelf saying “Night, Chris”

There. Now if you excuse me, I need to take a shower. Not necessarily from reviewing that comic, but because I actually wrote out a Family Guy joke.

[merryflamingo]

What the hell is up with ofmd !??

I never got the chance to watch the series (legally of course, and I refuse to pirate a series, even if it's about pirates) and season 2 has just been released. I know for a fact that I am in no state to watch it at the moment - unless season 2 is the final season - because I'm still processing the gay angels drama and I can only deal with one hyper fixation at a time.

When people described it as 'A series with gay pirates' I legitimately thought 'Yeah, maybe there's a gay couple or two in the show.'

Que nenni !

Every time I open Tumblr I keep seeing clips and gif sets of pirates kissing and declaring their love to each other, except it's a different character every time and it's always so dramatic and over-the-top. It's genuinely one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

Understand that, from my point of view, it looks like Captain Shakespeare and the crew of the Caspartine went on an adventure and stuff happened. And it looks AMAZING !

I'm not trying to offend anyone here, just saying that when you don't have any idea of what the story is about, you can divide the posts in 2 categories : the funny/crazy/romantic/light and cute stuff and the wtf/heavy/depressing/agonizing and stressful stuff.

To whoever reads this and watch this show, I hope you're okay and your otp is/are okay too.

[bougiebutchbitch]

So... Black Sails. Hailed as a Gay Pirate Show. Tried watching it once but it was genuinely so dark and I couldn't see anything so I gave up. How gay does it get, how fluffy vs angsty is it? Do them queers get a happy ending mayhaps? You're the expert...

oh gosh, black sails is AMAZING. But if you're after a fun queer comedy, it's NOT the show for you. It has incredible character development, intense writing, intellectually rewarding and rawly realistic themes. It's about anti-colonialism, revenge and hatred, healing and loss and hope. But it does not shy away from the atrocious actions that even the main characters can be driven to, or the far worse torments that have been inflicted upon them.

Major warnings for era-typical homophobia, sexism, racism and slavery, gore, death, violence, and rape (repeated, explicit, and brutal in S1 especially - I stopped watching for a LONG time because one of my favourite queer characters ever has horrific things happen to her in S1, in a way that I think most fans agree was grossly gratuitous even if it was somewhat plot-relevant). But the later seasons certainly seemed to be less about shocking depictions of horrific things happening to people, and more about deconstructing ideas of Empire and explicitly criticising heteronormativity.

It is very angsty, but The GaysTM do get a somewhat happy ending. I presume from this ask that you don't mind a spoiler, as you're asking about how the series finishes - but to cut a very long story short, they Unbury the Gays. They're alive and happy and well, and it hurts SO fucking good.

The one thing I have to really shout out this show for, though, is knowing how to kill off a fan-favourite character well. Vane's death was one of THEE most impactful, brilliant, heart-wrenching, and outright fucking GLORIOUS moments of the entire series. OFMD writers should take notes, lol.

TL;DR: it's very dark in tone but very good. I'd reccommend it, but please do look up a more comprehensive list of trigger warnings. There's. A Lot.

[best-fictional-cat]

Honestly really disappointed in you for including Harry Potter characters

You have no idea how ready I was for this question anon. If it's any consolation, Professor Mcgonagall would've given you a cookie for punching JKR in the face, so the queen is in. Also, she was suggested by two people and was the only HP character (I was honestly expecting Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris, and would've included them with even a single submission, but alas).

I'm going to talk politics now so if anyone doesn't want to read it, keep scrolling. I just want people who are mad at me for including Harry Potter to understand where I'm coming from and what's my stance on this whole thing. Just know that I am also LGBTQ+ and I support you, but the world doesn't support us.

So, the politics part is that I live in a country which has recently passed actual laws against the LGBTQ+ and nobody cares, at all. Gay marriage has never even been a thing you may hope to be legalised one day. Well, now we can't write, read or watch anything about it. Basically, it was a law about LGBTQ+ propaganda. The fun part is, they're not quite sure what exactly constitutes said propaganda. There was some beef with somewhat rainbow-coloured ice cream a little while back. Parents actually complained about that. Another example is that some of the politicians who passed the law are now complaining about a really old cartoon where a male wolf found and raised a bull who is now calling him "mom". Wow how come everybody in this country has not been turned trans after watching this as children. Sorry, irony is the only way I can cope with this shit. It's all very scary actually. JKR with her dumb tweets honestly does not feel very significant in light of all that, because words of someone who lives in another country are not real, and local laws are. Besides, I never cared about her twitter and all the additional dumb facts she was shitting out and I feel like we as a fandom should have been doing a better job of enjoying the source material and not paying attention to its creator.

Anyway, I wasn't going to exclude Harry Potter from the start. It was an integral part of many people's childhoods, including mine, and I don't see the point in denying that. So JKR turned out to be a transphobe. Well, you've bought the books like fifteen years ago. It's not like you can get a refund. If you don't want to support her, don't consume any new media. Or better yet, if you still secretly enjoy it in the closet society is putting you in, pirate it, for chrissake. People are suddenly finding so many faults in what they universally considered to be the best books in existence mere years ago. If it proves anything, then it's the power of universal hysteria over the minds of people and how much people can be forced to abandon what has been bringing them so much joy because they don't want strangers on the Internet to judge them. Also, I've come across some footage of people playing Hogwarts Legacy and honestly I just wish people were complaining about the actual game, not the politics. Because it's objectively shit and boring and isn't worth it's money at all and the only thing it has in common with the source material is that it's set in Hogwarts. Otherwise it really does piss poor job of following what was even shown in the movies, let alone the books. Don't even get me started on their pseudo-historical clothing. Or whatever it is they call side missions in this shit-show.

[napneeders]

Ever since DJ said his original plan for the show was to have Ed/Stede be unrequited, I've wondered if it wasn't actually that Izzy 'needed' to die as the Blackbeard part of Ed to free Ed, but just that Blackbeard needed to die in DJ's intended story about the brevity of the Golden Age of Piracy. He could no longer kill off Ed now that he'd written a gay romance that people were heralding as non-cliched, and while Izzy was probably always doomed, his death now had to be Blackbeard's as well.

//sorry, anon, this is a bit of an Assorted Thoughts. I hope it doesn't seem too much like I'm shooting you down - I found myself disagreeing, but this was an interesting way to sort out some thoughts, and you might have different thoughts.

that's an interesting idea, though I'm not really convinced it was ever the plan. even with unrequited blackbonnet, I'd imagine the ed/izzy stuff was already in place at that point, and that whatever the plan was for Blackbeard it was always tied up in that (interpersonal, intimate, intense) dynamic. the rockstar of piracy dying as a representation of piracy seems a bit too straightforward; one half of a dysfunctional twosome dying as a representation of the worst parts of both of them, against the backdrop of whatever they're saying about piracy, has a bit more meat to me. again, as an idea that could have worked if it was done with any consistency.

on more of a sidenote, if this were the case I don't think it was/would have been the fan response that would have stopped DJ & co from killing off Ed; I think it's pretty clear from that interview that the commitment to the romance came from what happened on set. (which is still surprisingly late in the game, though the article seems to imply the bathtub scene was shot early on.)

it's an absolutely fascinating statement (partly for being so surprising) but when it comes to speculating on the implications I'm kind of floundering without more information. what was the follow-up to blackbonnet's falling out going to be if a reunion wasn't on the cards? were the characters going to develop in parallel, still exploring themes like masculinity and what being a pirate (captain) means? or was Ed just a stop on Stede's journey? were they going to be awkward-to-bitter exes? did the idea of a three-season arc exist before the romance solidified itself and in that case what was the driving force?

similarly, I feel like the stuff about the end of piracy in ep8 (which admittedly I've only watched the once. not exactly intentionally but my slow rewatch has been very slow.), and Izzy's (narrative, symbolic) role in it, consists of too few, too small, disjointed pieces for me to draw any conclusions from*. clearly they were going somewhere with it, and clearly there wasn't enough room in the season to actually do that. maybe season 3 would have answered some of my questions. (the hints that we would have found out more about Izzy in season 3 are interesting as well.) but I suspect even with a ten-episode season the storyline would have been compromised by trying to do two conflicting things with Izzy's character.

*the difference being that one of these is an epitextual tidbit about what could have been, and the other is, you know, part of the actual text.

imagining killing Ed as Blackbeard for a moment - obviously it could be very dramatic and tragic. maybe Ed in his kraken era without a genre-backed future does manage to kill himself by proxy. maybe Stede realizes too late what he had. or maybe they have to work together and Ed gets killed in the equivalent to the plotline that killed Izzy. the question then is what does it mean for the story? probably depends on my previous question of what Ed's role in that version of the story would have been.

I think it would also be pretty bleak for the indigenous, troubled soul, poet pirate captain Blackbeard to succumb to his own violent legacy while the touristy white guy that broke his heart gets to go on and maybe reap the lesson from both of their stories. unless he doesn't, obviously, maybe Stede gets hanged too. still pretty bleak. which is not to say bleak is categorically bad, but that would be a drastically different show.

[robotslenderman]

Eurovision Semifinals 2

I just found this in my drafts from 2022 Eurovision and I thought I was hilarious so I'm posting it.

I have no idea what past me is talking about half the time. Altho it's interesting to note how my tastes have changed over time - I'm quite fond of Finland's song now and I LOVE Estonia's 2022 song (I HOPE, I HOPE, I HOPE) so was genuinely surprised to see I didn't like them so much at the time.

You know, when I was a kid my parents used to always put presenters and hosts on mute and say they were unbearable to listen to. Believe it or not, I have made it to 30 being largely sheltered from the tyranny of hosts.

Now I get it. I absolutely get it. Every time the three stooges show up I feel like I'm being treated like a four-year-old. Exaggerated facial expressions? Constant "WOW!" vibes? Overdramatic acting? That's how you act when you're trying to entertain four-year-olds.

At the risk of sounding like my mother I got spoiled with British presenters --

"my name is Chicky! Chicky Chicky Chicky!" oh my god please shoot me I was being facetitious when I made the comment about four-year-olds that was NOT AN INVITATION --

oh wow the guns on Laura.

Anyway I'm going to tune this two out until the show starts and oooh, Finland. I always like the aesthetic of Finnish musicians.

Finland -- And right away we're treated to IT. And English. And -- actually I take back what I said about Finnish aesthetic. The balls and lights are cool but the raincoat and shirtlessness are not. Decent song, much better than most of last night, so marks go up, but was ultimately less interesting than the really big hole I'm digging in Minecraft to keep my ADHD happy while I watch this, and therefore fails the Minecraft Hole Test. 6/10

Israel -- I was about to wonder if this song being really gay was deliberate or not then the limp wrist showed up. This is super gay. Sadly, the gay is not enough for it to compete with the Minecraft Hole, which distracts me for most of the performance, so fails the Minecraft Hole Test. Song is decent, costumes cool, and the gayness gives it an extra point, but I've already forgotten the song. 6/10

Serbia -- I feel like I'm watching a Christo-Vulcan 007. But at least it's not in English. The performance is cool and has successfully made me look up from my Minecraft hole. Song itself is okay, once again, wouldn't change the radio away from it. The flowers are super cool, the costumes are also great, like the aesthetic. Passes the Minecraft Hole test. 7/10

Azerbaijan -- So apparently these slower songs are ballads, which honestly I don't mind. This one has cool atmosphere, and he's not singing in English, so bonus points for that, but my attention goes back to the Minecraft hole. Wait. No. That sounds like English? I genuinely can't tell. I do briefly look up at the way they've lit up the waterfall tho. Song itself is beautiful so I'll probably get it afterwards, but performance is dull and docks points. 7/10

Georgia -- So these guys have Willy Wonka and a pirate and a dude in an Elizabethan collar. And my Dunmer Nightblade as drummer. Hm. For a moment I look to see if this'll get interesting or not, then return to the Minecraft hole. I briefly look up when my computer monitor drops some LSD and -- okay that chest compartment with the diorama is really cool, but not cool enough to salvage this. Points added for cool costumes and the unique presentation, but the song itself sucks. 5/10

Malta -- Very pretty. Lady at a piano classic aesthetic again. Like the -- shit, I forgot what the mist stuff is. Song gives me "will either be great or meh" vibes this early in, but then the Minecraft hole wins again. 5/10

Break time. Minecraft hole takes all my attention. Except for the brief sighting of what I think is Maneskin, which stands out to me bc @ryttu3k has been treating me to Ethan Torchio gifs for the last year. Yep that's definitely Maneskin. Maneskin passes the Minecraft Hole Test, it turns out. The hosts do not.

San Marino -- I didn't even know this was a country. Delightfully, the song is not English. I love this guy's outfit -- OH MY GOD IT'S THE COWBOY GUY. his hat has SEQUINS. He passes the Minecraft Hole Test. Also this is very gay. And I love the purple guitar -- WOW I DIDN'T THINK THIS WAS ACTUALLY GAY UNTIL THEY DID THAT. God I keep expecting queerbaiting only to get actual queers, this is AWESOME. 9/10

Banana host is caught gazing lustfully. Banana host has excellent taste, if not in clothes. Australia's performance is apparently delayed, from what I've heard it's probably because of the clothes. Time to see our friend and boy!

Australia -- Come on, darling, don't let me down, you have a Minecraft hole to compete with! Also wow his voice is DEEP, I thought he was like sixteen. Nice voice, nice costume, performance itself is meh. Altho the swirling mist is a nice touch. Like that little headshake when he takes the veil thing off. Ultimately fails the Minecraft Hole Test, but was pleasant to listen to and I liked it. 7/10

Cypress -- Oooh, pretty aesthetic. Like the way the song is starting. Aaaaand then the song starts and the hole wins. 5/10

Ireland -- Oooh, I like the energy of this. Then the singing starts and I'm like "nah" and get back to digging my hole. Also starting to get really annoyed by singers yakking after the song. Australia did it too, Jesus, give the audience a moment to have some afterglow! 5/10

North Macedonia -- English. BOO. Song is a bit slow at first but then picks up and I quite like it and AAAUGH SHE TALKS AFTERWARDS TOO SHUT UP. Fails Minecraft Hole Test. 7/10

Estonia -- Minecraft hole is so interesting I almost miss whose turn it is. More English. Confused as to why Estonia suddenly likes American country but it's very Johnny Cash. Decent enough I guess. 6/10

Ah shit Banana Host is back. Cue Toreador discussion about beauty. and oh god there's a baby no make it go away. They make up for it with a dog. and then there's another baby. ew.

Romania -- More fucking English. They make up for it with a LITTLE bit of Romanian, as a treat. It's meh. 5/10

Poland -- Sigh. More english. Fairy lights are pretty but song is meh. Energy picks up but somehow makes it sound worse. I do love the poeple dressed up as, what, drowned spirits? That's so cool. Quality goes up a bit towards the end but wow this guy is obsessed with rivers and stuff. I guess it beats another goddamn love song. But yeah those spirits are really cool. And of course he talks at the end. 5/10

Montenegro -- The Minecraft hole is starting to bore me so I'm wandering off to build a ship in Starbound now. And it's... more English. And she talks at the end. 4/10

Belgium -- This is going to be English isn't i -- yep it's English. Love the dude's jacket but it's the only interesting thing about the song. He's also a talker. 4/10

I think I'm judging harsher tonight because I'm getting bored and also because SO MUCH FUCKING ENGLISH

Sweden -- More English. My mother said she thinks this one'll win but I don't see it at first until it picks up and then it is actually really nice. Presentation isn't great -- that green is awful -- but wow this song is actually pretty good now it's picked up. Also dang she's gorgeous. (please don't be a talker please don't be a talker please don't be a talker ah fuck she's a talker) 6/10

Czech Republic -- English. And singing in an American accent, no less. Yeah I think I'm done for the night because I'm pretty "meh" over just about everything that's been on tonight except for the gay cowboy. Eh, it's not too bad I guess. Maybe I'm just hangry. 6/10

Anyway I'll do a score/pass post next.

[mangle-my-mind]

Slash Ships to Get to Know Me

**Rules**: Name at least five (no upper limit) slash (M/M) ships you love. Each from a different fandom.

Thanks @autumnsup for tagging me! My brain immediately went haywire trying to think of this list. I might steal a few ships that you mentioned ;) also my definition of what constitutes slash is a pretty loose one. Some of these relationships I imagine as & instead of /, but I still froth at the mouth thinking about them so I'm including them here.

Velvet Goldmine - Jack Fairy/Curt Wild. This one isn't explicitly in the movie, but the dynamics of Jack and Curt just make it such a worthwhile relationship to explore. There's so much care and tenderness I can imagine between them, with Jack being there for Curt at one of his lowest points and the two of them working on music together. In my fic "In Berlin," I displayed their relationship as more or less platonic, but that doesn't mean I don't ABSOLUTELY LOVE the idea of them being together more intimately. There are some amazing gorgeous fics of Curt/Jack out there that I have read a million times over! (Close VG seconds are Arthur/Curt and Jack/Malcolm. Curt/Brian is important of course, and I love reading fic about it, but it's just too doomed for me to put my heart behind lol)

Our Flag Means Death - Ed Teach/Stede Bonnet. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. The way this show rotted my brain. The way these gay pirates seeped into my consciousness and won't leave. Their story so far has been so wonderful (and devastating - that goes without saying) and I'm so excited for their relationship to deepen in season 2. There's promise of more drama, more romance, and more spiciness! In the meantime, though, I'm eternally grateful to the literal tens of thousands of Ed/Stede fics that build on this love story. (Jim/Oluwande and Lucius/Pete are also incredible)

Beatles - McLennon. Okay, so this one is kind of wishy-washy for me because of the rpf element. There have been some McLennon fics that have given me everything I'd ever want and more. Then there have been fics that just made me uncomfy. This is a personal thing and not at all trying to hate on any fic writers; sometimes the spiciness gets too much when I remember John and Paul are real-life people. Regardless - McLennon is a love story. It is. They were in love, no matter how you look at it, and their relationship and how it manifested in their music and actions is such an interesting arc to observe. Ugh I just love reading their quotes about each other, seeing their studio interactions, analyzing their lyrics in songs directed at each other. And there have been so many fics that have captured this relationship between them so beautifully (whether or not it was accurate, it felt real enough to me). I've been in the Beatles fandom longer than in any other fandom, and even if I don't approach the John/Paul ship the way I do fictional ships, it brings me so much joy to learn about and read about and see art about their decades-long love story. (Another Beatles-ish relationship I've been loving lately is George/Bob Dylan. They are absolute girlies maximizing their joint slay)

Across the Universe - Jude/Max. This ship is kind of recent, though my love for the movie is years-old. On a recent rewatch, I realized that actually, no, Jude and Lucy aren't really right for each other, no matter how hopeful that ending seems for their story. And I love the dynamic between Max and Jude. And I've read some incredible fics recently covering just that. So yes, give me more Jude/Max please. And all Beatles fans should watch this movie btw. Also fans of trippy visuals and ambitious musical numbers and fun cameos (Bono? Eddie Izzard? Salma Hayek? Joe Cocker? sign me up)

Trainspotting - Renton/Sick Boy. Again a movie that has been a part of my life for so freaking long, but a ship that came a little later. I love their dynamic and how it changes through the films. In the 90s, they're kinda dicks to each other, but "he's a mate" so they tolerate each others' antics. The fics written about this era are so interesting, because on the surface there's a lot of shitty behavior to each other, but underneath there's always care and love. By the time they reach the 2010s, they've been estranged for twenty years, and yet they really do cling to each other. Part of that is just clinging to the past and trying to recreate some beautiful bygone days they're imagining, but still there's love between them. Anyway go read some Mark/Simon fic because it's always a good time.

Thanks again for tagging me! Anyone feel free to get in on this. I'll tag @moonage-xx-daydream @holy-loki - if you guys feel like doing it :)

[rightpastnowhere]

📓📓📓📓📓 FIVE PLS

this feels like that bit in animated shows where the teacher drops like a stack of books on the student's desk, you know what i'm talking about ??? maybe ?????? anyways

TIME FOR 5 FIC IDEAS I GUESS

send me a book emoji and i'll tell you a fic idea that i have thought about but haven't written anything for yet

1. okay so. stupid one first - tangled au. like the disney film. percy as rapunzel, which means that, yes, he has beautiful long and flowing hair. the flower is still some sorta sun flower, which makes sense with the de rolos being connected to pelor, but it makes his hair white instead of golden. delilah as mother gothel, who steals baby percy away from the de rolos, and is trying to use his magic hair to bring back sylas, as well as to keep herself young. vex & vax collectively as flynn ryder, the thieves who split from their band after a heist gone wrong and kind of fuck up a lot. (percy is initially attracted to both of them, but only falls in love with vex.) the rest of VM are the hooligans at the snuggly duckling. trinket is maximus. also?? you know the scene where flynn cuts rapunzel's hair??? same thing happens here, and it fades to the soft brown that matches his family.

2. kind of tentative about posting this one, since i do hope to write it, but maybe manifesting a little of it into the world will motivate me more to write it. so! i'll give you a little sneak peek. the bare bones of it is a modern au where percy and vex, newly engaged, have to deal with the sudden and unexplained fire that burns down percy's family's home, as well as some other things happening behind the scenes. it's a mix of a big hurt/comfort fic and a mystery fic, with a focus on percy learning to navigate non-rich boy life while he stays in vex & vax's apartment. i'm unsure on what happened to the rest of the de rolos as of right now, but i'm workshopping it!! anyway unlike the rest of the ideas on this list, this one is still something i'm holding onto, so pls don't steal it if you see this

3. i had this idea based on one of the cr q&a's from a while back, and i actually think this one might be right up your alley, aich: what if cass actually managed to slip away from the castle when the briarwoods attacked, and stayed in whitestone to lead the rebellion? it changes so much about canon - percy would likely meet her much sooner into the whitestone arc, he wouldn't have her name on the list, and the rebellion might actually have made more progress. i admit that i haven't watched much of the briarwood arc of the campaign, so i don't know the minor details surrounding cass' involvement, but it might be fun to play with!! i also have no idea if someone else has done this lol

4. this is an au i've spitballed with my friend to a point of pretty decent development, but i also know it would be a long fic, and i SUCK at writing long fics, or completing them if i do write them, so i'm tossing it into the crowds!!! for your consideration: siren vex. she and vax are both sirens, and they usually go after pirates (the like, nasty ones) or trade ships or military ships. vex specifically likes to go after the extravagant fancy rich people, luring private boats or larger ships to crash on the rocks. she's only had one exception so far, and that was this sad rich boy who was running away from harm - he all but collapsed into her arms sobbing after his boat had been wrecked, and she sees it's a dingy little escape boat, and this man is so pathetic she almost feels bad. this, by the way, is tary, and he eventually gets a lil shack by the shore, and becomes her gay human best friend and he hangs out on the rocks all the time.

the SECOND time she spares a sad lil rich boy's life is when she sees this beat up lifeboat, and sitting in it is the most haggard man she's ever seen. she was initially drawn to the crest on the boat (half-scrubbed away, unable to be tied to a name, but she's familiar with the style of the engravings), and then she noticed that the finely-made clothes are all but water-laden rags now, and the man looks like she hasn't eaten in days. she lures him over to the rocks if only so he won't drift out into the open seas, full of creatures that hunt and sirens who are much less merciful (all sirens are much less merciful, really; she's the outlier here), and hauls him up to a rock while he's in a trance so she can look at him. she calls to tary for him to help, and together they help the man - whose name they learn is "percy" - to get back on his feet. he moves in with tary, and becomes fast friends with the two (and vax as well), and it's all fine and dandy until they realize why he was out to sea with nothing but the clothes on his back: he's being hunted, and the hunters - the briarwoods - have just arrived in the nearby town, and are asking after a man named percival de rolo.

this au was initally inspired by art of mermaid!vex by @burr-ell (here's the art!!) and i would LOVE if someone wrote this, i'm happy to throw more ideas at people for it if they like!!

5. AND since you're also a fan of wanda maximoff, have one of my ideas from my marvel phase! this was an idea i cooked up for AU-gust 2021 but never ended up writing (in fact, i only ended up writing one prompt, whoopsie), and it's essentially a doomsday fic. the world is ending by meteor, the bunkers are full, and both wanda and vision have no place to go. neither has any family to speak of - wanda's parents died young, her brother in a car crash recently, and vision's adopted mother passed earlier that year - so they're some of the only people spending their last minutes outside, in the park, just looking at the sky. (it's a morbid picture.) they just... sit on a park bench and talk, getting to know each other, having a nice and normal conversation. it feels like any other day, for a few hours. i was thinking of a little parallel to tie the ending to earlier in the fic - maybe one of them mentioning they didn't have any regrets as an early icebreaker, except now they both regret they hadn't met each other sooner. not necessarily romantic, although knowing me i would have hinted at it, lol

if anyone wants to use any of these as prompts for writing (except number 2 of course) please feel free!!! and please tag me so i can read it, i'm trying to manifest these ideas lol

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

you know what you're right, i'll take that L too! (re)reading that article shot me 1000 years into the past back when i watched all available episodes of ofmd, then devoured all available media about it, and felt like half the articles and interviews i saw were talking about a different show to the one i'd watched, but that's no reason for me to reach like that when that truly was a bad fucking take. elon and grimes au my beloathed.

dw abt it! fuck rhys darby's space race au all my homies hate rhys darby's space race au

i also agree tho that half the interviews and shit from right when ofmd came out feel like they're talking abt a different show. i feel like that's because hbo did like ZERO marketing for the show so there probably wasn't a cohesive brand or dedicated marketing team telling the people writing articles and doing interviews what the vibe was supposed to be.

like the show became hugely successful basically out of fucking nowhere, and then i feel like tv critics were getting calls from their bosses like "we need you to write a piece about this gay pirate show by tomorrow morning" and it was like 9pm at night and the poor overworked writer was in the middle of doing a piece on the staying cultural power of breaking bad and had never even heard of our flag means death and now they had to binge the whole thing and write up a coherent review in time for the editors to go over it and then send it to get published or however the tv critic industry works i have no fucking idea.

the point is i hope hbo steps up their marketing game for season two