#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though

[salsflore]

ummmm

[imathers]

Anaïs is 36 today! Everything I said for our anniversary of course holds true, but naturally that occasion is a bit more about us and I want to talk a bit more about her.

After a really tough couple of years on a personal/household level (and don’t get me wrong, I know that in a macro sense things continue to get tougher), somehow we’ve emerged on the other side in better shape than we’ve ever been. But while we both changed jobs in ways that are really positive for us, Anaïs changed careers in a really profound way. She’s still a student therapist working her way towards being a registered psychotherapist (and already seeing the maximum number of clients you can at that step). To give you some idea, this is roughly like trying to start doing some of the toughest, most emotional, most rewarding work out there you can do, one-on-one with people who are often just straight up not having a good time, while at the same time opening your own small business. I would be relentlessly proud of her for it if she was handling it, like 1/6th as well. And all of that is while she’s still in school, and I have to say that experience is a lot more intense, edifying, and life changing than I think “in school” really covers. It’s definitely school, but it’s also.... really intense group therapy, partly? I don’t directly experience what school and seeing therapy clients is like for her (of course), but I have gotten to see up close the amazing growth Anaïs has had as a result of them, and I’m profoundly lucky I get to do so.

AND all of the above was also during a year where she got a belated (and pricey lol) ADHD diagnosis and I’ve also gotten to see what a profound difference the medication for that has made as well. It’s been a real banner Anaïs year, to tell you the truth. She’s gone through things I’m not sure I could hack and has reached 36 in far better shape than pretty much anyone else I know, and she’s still getting better, sometimes it seems like every day. Selfishly, as her partner, it’s just such a joy and an inspiration to live with and be close to her.

Also she’s a huge goofball and I love her so much.

[transmedicalism-saves-lives]

Why did you choose to go down the medical route instead of getting therapy for your discomfort with your body, which afai understand, we both agree is out of the normal / a pathological condition? Why not address the root issues you have with your born sex instead of jumping to plastic surgery? Doctors don't tell anorexics that if they feel more comfortable starving, that's valid but the medical industry profits off of transsexuals undergoing insanely pricey sergery that aren't technically lifesaving but they're sneakishly presented as such. If no surgery means a transsexual remains in severe discomfort which leads to suicidal thoughts, then these thoughts and their origins need to be treated as the problem, not a healthy functioning body. Lastly, I'm sincere and if you choose to answer sincerely too, that'd be for me of interest to read.

Okay, hi! Thanks for reaching out. I’m really glad you asked, because the thing is, your question itself shows a common misconception. 

I did go down the therapy route. I went down the therapy route for five years before the first time I injected HRT. That included more therapists than I care to count, some practices that left me crying into my bedsheets, and a lot of hard work that came to nothing. 

Thing is, I liked being a girl. I never wanted this. I miss being treated like a girl, it suited me much better. Not to mention, I’ve had an extreme phobia of needles since I was strapped to a cot and stabbed with them for over two hours when I was five, because all my veins had collapsed due to blood cancer and they couldn’t get the needle in any of them. The prospect of a weekly injection turned my stomach, and surgery? Surgery is terrifying, and it hurts so much. I already knew how much surgery hurts. Transitioning wasn’t something I ever desired. 

But dysphoria is so hard to live with. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been through something like this could quite get it. It isn’t about hating how you look exactly. I can look at pre-transition pictures and admit I was pretty. Even back then I was well aware I was pretty. I looked better then than I do now. It was like there were bits of me missing, and that caused serious physical distress. My breasts, they always felt separate from me, like a parasite that was latched onto my chest and would not go away. My voice sounded false, even the way my body hair grew looked wrong, and not in a ‘I should be hairless’ sense.

I was not suicidal, I want to make that perfectly clear. I have never wanted to be dead, but the things I did to try to make my body feel some semblance of normalcy were dangerous. If I did nothing, I couldn’t get through the day. I’d end up leaving class to vomit a few times every day, or else dissociate until suddenly I realized I hadn’t noticed an hour pass and had mentally skipped class. My grades took a nosedive, and the consequences of that were awful. I don’t like talking about them. But, binding worked a little bit. Binding made it easier to get through the day. I used bandages until I got a real binder, which was dangerous enough, but not as dangerous as the time I dissociated in the shower and figured that I could end this right now if I just cut them off with a breadknife. I still have a scar from that. Even binding, the safest option, wasn’t that safe when it went on for years. It also wasn’t enough. Oh, have I mentioned I used to intentionally blow out my voice so that I’d sound less female? That was also a probably not smart thing I did. 

It took between when I was thirteen and when I was eighteen for me to give up on therapy. That’s half a decade of trying it your way, a good percentage of my life. I couldn’t keep doing it forever and more than that, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to spend every moment feeling like things were crawling on me, like my skin was full of parasites. I didn’t want to spend forever unable to properly enjoy sex, or let a partner see me naked without vomiting on her (sorry Rachel, honestly, you were the best friend I could have had at the time and I hope you find every happiness). I want a normal life. I want a house, a wife, as many kids as possible, I was so sick of this thing making it impossible. 

When I first put the needle in, I was scared. I had so many thoughts flooding my mind, like, “This is the wrong choice, you’re ruining your body, you can’t come back from this, nobody will ever love a freak like you, this is dangerous, how could you be so stupid?” But then the changes started, and all those voices were gone. It felt so good. I could sing again without hating it, I felt genuinely comfortable whenever I had a binder on. Transition did in two months more than therapy did in five years. How could I not want that? 

I got top surgery once it was clear that, no, my breasts were not actually healthy anymore. Binding, which kept me from dissociating, getting sick, or god forbid trying DIY top surgery again, had also been impacting my lungs, and ribs. I’d also had bruises there for the past few years. Surgery hurt, but binding forever would have ended up much, much worse, and not binding just wasn’t an option for me. Top surgery was hard. It was painful. But, I can run again without any problems. I don’t wake up with bruises anymore. I’m never going to have to run to the bathroom to cough up my lunch because I felt something move that shouldn’t have been inside me. I feel good now, whole. 

I feel like everything that was keeping me from being alive is gone. I’m free, and while I do intend to have bottom surgery (I want to have sex that isn’t one-sided before I die and urination is horribly uncomfortable) I don’t think I’ve ever felt so normal and relieved. There’s no more pain. It’s over. Therapy wasn’t giving me this. Two years and most of it is fixed, after five years of zero progress. 

I hope this helps you understand my decision. It was the only way out that I could see, and for me, it was what gave me my life back. I might never have died without it, but I wouldn’t have felt alive. It’s what I needed. Thank you for reading all of this, I really appreciate you taking the time to try and understand me. 

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

Day in the life videos on youtube.

I didn't realize this was a thing. Until today.

Quite the rabbit hole.

Watching med students. Other doctors in other parts of the world. interns. Even undergrad.

Some are really high quality and well done, as some of the most highly watched youtube videos are. But these actually tend to be more boring, they're almost too happy. Some of the time it's their first day of "X". Which could probably be why they're still so upbeat. The lower quality ones tend to feel more real and interesting.

My fave is Dr. Mike. As he's just great to look at and so likable.

And then I finally come across the one of the med students floating around our wards did. They're a bit odd in personality, but otherwise fine. Then word got around the interns and residents that, hey this student has a youtube channel with day-in-life-videos. It was pretty awkward to watch. So of course, we probably collectively bumped up their views and they'll likely have no idea it was us - easily dozens of us by the end of the day.

If you going to do stuff like that. Know that when people you work with on rotation find out, we'll be all over it. We'll all be judging it too. We may even be sharing it with our friends.

If I were to do a Day in the Life - and I wouldn't, as it'd cost my anonymity, it would admittedly be utter trash.

I don't go to the gym. Even though I should.

We live across where we work, which I don't recommend.

The toddler will wake us up, usually by slapping us in the face. Daycare provides all meals, so drop off is pretty much after we all roll out of bed, on the way to work.

It's always a mess at home. Maybe it's clean or tidy once a week. There's a reason why the toddler's nickname is Chucks and we own a Roomba or robot vacuum.

I'll attend handover, where someone inevitably is getting grilled. Gently. (Hopefully not me eventually when we rotate). Then it's rounds, and seeing patients. I'm in IM, so most of my patients are in their 70s and 80s. 90s isn't unusual, 60 is considered young. They're crumbly, they have 20 medications (which we always pare down), 50% will be demented, delirious or both.

This makes for really boring TV. It's also a reason why most in medicine find this area really unfulfilling, it's almost like working in acute geriatrics. Our ED recently told us that most of their traumas now are older people falling over and fracturing everything.

The interns will take most if not all the ward round notes, then go do jobs, like request an Xray. Which all magically happens on EMR. We also hover a lot over computers to look at results.

I might have clinic later. Where I spend more time reading patient files and typing up letters after seeing them, than I do actually talking to them.

I'll find the interns and we'll look at more results. We might tweak some medications that nurses administer.

Like 60-70% of what I do is "paperwork." Because after all, if you don't document it. It never happened. Thank goodness for EMR though, if I had to hand write notes and request physical files I'd probably explode.

The unsung heroes that never get the limelight in the media are social workers, occupational therapists and physios. IN many cases, they do the vast majority of the "work."

There may be no medical issue at all. I'm not starting any new medications, usually I'm removing them. In many cases, we're looking at elderly individuals no longer able to live independently at home and now have to look at nursing home or enhanced services to help them out at home. All if not mostly government funded by the way, all of which is a form of socialism which somehow got so politicized despite its existence for decades in most Western countries.

Drama is family meetings where we all as a team, sit down with the kids (who are often in their 50s and 60s) and say, I'm sorry, but it's time we talk about safety for your loved one to remain home on their own. Let's look at these other options.

This is the reality of practicing medicine with an aging population in the first world. This is where your taxes go. You work a lifetime paying them, then when you hit the twilight years of your retirement, a small fortune goes into your care in those final years of life. A single night in hospital costs $2000 if not more. You can spend a lifetime never seeing a doctor or going to hospital, but I guarantee you will in your last decade. A lot.

If I didn't have kids, I'm finally comfortable enough now in my skills to say, I'd love to go overseas and do humanitarian work and help struggling countries establish their own local healthcare. Then I think about what I have to offer. It really isn't much to the 3rd world where they're still struggling with covering basic needs. Forget the expensive regimens, medications and rehab I regularly recommend or prescribe. If you live in poverty, it's still pricey despite government subsidy.

If I really wanted to implement change, I'd go into politics. Be a public servant and work on legislation or lobbying. That's where real change would come from. But as of yet, I often feel like I'm just shoving bandaids on the titanic.

I love what I do. But it's very unsexy for TV.

It's very first world country. I wouldn't glorify the career anymore than it already has been glorified, there's many lofty careers out there that aren't nearly as competitive to get into as medicine and net more public service.

[221castiel]

“Castiel,”

“I would begin by saying I love you, but that wouldn’t be enough. I love you you can say to anything, or anyone, what I feel for you is so much more. What I feel for you is every happy moment, every single sunset, and cloud watch. What I feel for you is the good moments, but not just the ones like Christmas, the small things, the grass against our feet, the smell of fresh rain, the colour of your eyes. Everything you’ve helped me through, and taught me. I love you is not enough, but for now it will have to do.”

“Castiel Novak, would you give me the honor, for more moments, more memories, and the time to find the proper wording, by marrying me?”

Dean opened the small velvet box raising it as he did so. He kept it raised for another second before closing the box, letting his arms fall back to his side, “what did you think? Would you have said yes?” Dean asked the man behind the counter who looked back with what Dean could only describe as utter exhaustion. “Maybe I should try again with the silver one, you know with the huge fucking diamond.”

“No!” The man quickly cried. “I think the one you have is perfect, and even after hearing it three times I think your speech is also perfect. Now shall I ring you up?”

Dean nodded. He reopened the small box, starting at the ring inside. It was gorgeous, the band a shiny silver, with a black strip across the middle, and in the center a dark blue gem. Matching the velvet it sat on. He knew it was the one, but even still he had the smallest feeling of uncertainty. Maybe it was too simple. Maybe Cas would prefer a diamond, or at least a bigger gem.

“Do you think it’s expensive enough?” Dean asked looking back to the jewler.

“You are aware it’s five thousand dollars?”

“Yah, but my boyfriend comes from a rich family, maybe I should go for a seven thousand one? I heard that's the average price for New York.”

The man raised an eyebrow, as he looked Dean up and down, Dean’s own gaze dropping down his body, to the old t-shirt and faded jeans he wore. “I don’t know your boyfriend, but I have reasons to believe price isn’t his biggest concern,” he paused, finally stopping his judging look and giving Dean a forced smile. “And that you should be putting your money in other aspects of your life.”

Dean only gave a nod in understanding, instead looking back to the ring, the smallest smile on his lips. The gem was the same shade as Castiel’s eyes, the black almost the same shade as his hair, it was so perfect the ring could’ve been made for him.

Dean looked back to the seller, the smile not dropping from his face, “I think I wanna try the first one again.”

~~~

Slowly Dean crouched to one knee, raising the opened box. The cold night wind blew, and for a second all he could think about was how he wished he hadn’t left his jacket in the car, his fingers already numb.

“Angel.”

“From the day I met you, you were different. You were kind and patient, and you loved everything so much. And you had me amazed. I couldn't understand how you could do it, find the good in everyone and everything, you made games out of traffic jams, and brought homeless people for lunch, even when I told you not to. But you never cared what others thought, or said, and you loved with every inch of your being. I never thought I could have that, but when I’m with you, I do. I love you with everything I have, and everything I am.”

“Castiel Novak, would you please make me the happiest man on earth, and marry me?”

“Of course!” Charlie cried, throwing herself into Dean’s arms, the moment he had stood, it didn’t stop the nerves. Her cheery smile, the adorance she had for the date Dean planned, despite it all his heart still hammered. He was going to mess up, when he had to do it for real, he knew it. “Dean, that was beautiful. I’m so happy for you two!”

“He hasn’t said yes yet.”

“Which he will. If you ask,” Charlie replied. She stepped away looking up with an obviously disapproving look, though with her red hair messy, strands falling in her face, it wasn’t nearly as intimidating. “You are going to ask him soon? Right?”

Dean took a hesitant breath. , he knew Charlie was right, it had been over a month since he had bought the ring, but the timing never seemed right. Something always went wrong whether it was the weather or or car problems, things just couldn’t be perfect. “I’ve tried to, I just- I just want everything to be perfect, you know? What if he doesn’t even say yes?”

“Dean.” He nodded his gaze never leaving Charlies, though every inch of him screamed to run. “he’s going to say yes. I have no doubt in my mind, just ask him tomorrow you’re going to drive yourself crazy waiting.”

“Fine. Tomorrow.”

~~~

“Dean, this is weird.”

“Just shut up.”

Slowly Dean crouched to his knee, raising the box, and opening it. “Castiel-” Dean began though as he looked up to Sam, he could only sigh, letting his arms fall back to his side. “You’re right this is weird.”

Instead of standing Dean sat, his gaze staying locked on the ring, the blue gem seeming to mock him. Even as Sam sat next to him, Dean continued to stare, studying each inch of the ring, every single detail, no matter how small. Did he even choose the right ring, how was he even supposed to propose if he didn’t.

“How many times have you practised?” Sam asked

Dean shrugged, he slowly looked up from the ring and to the park that spread out in front of them, it was quite, something unusual for New York. It would've been the perfect night to ask Castiel, if only he wasn’t such a coward. “To another person? Cause I can’t even count all the showers.”

“I really don’t want to know what you do in the shower.”

The smallest smile tugged at Dean’s lips. “Want to hear what me and Cas do in the shower?”

“Dude!” Sam cried. “I don’t want hear about your sex life!”

“I was going to say talk about our favourite dog breeds, but if your head’s that far in the gutter.”

“I hate you.”

A small laugh parted his lips as Dean looked to his brother, who sat to his left. “Did you like the date?” He asked, getting a nod. “Did you think it was enough? Or should we do something else as well? Go to the movies? Maybe a ball? Are those still things?”

“Dean it’s Cas.”

“Really? I had no Idea!” Dean cried sarcastically, which caused Sam to roll his eyes.

“Even I know he would prefer something small.”

Dean sighed, he dragged his hands down his face. His brother was right, no matter how much Dean wished he wasn’t. “I know, I'm just.” Dean let out a shaken breath, “what if i'm not enough? His family already hates me, I'm broke, on the verge of being homeless every second week.”

“what if he realizes he can do better?”

There was a moment of silence as Sam didn't speak, his eyes only wondering across Dean. This was the first time those words had left Dean’s mouth, the thought that had been spinning though his head since him and Cas had been dating. He wasn’t good enough, it will only take a matter of time before Cas realizes it.

Dean wasn’t good enough, and it terrified him.

“You’ve slept with his sister.”

“Thank you,” Dean cried, not caring to hide the anger that was so clear in his voice. “Thank you so fuckin’ much doctor Phil.”

“Let me finish,” Sam snapped back, for once Dean listening, holding back his sarcastic comments.

“You’ve slept with his sister, you’ve gone through debt, and therapists, and you’ve pushed him away, and torn yourself apart.” Was this supposed to be a pep talk, Dean wasn’t sure. It definitely didn’t feel like it. “Dean, he’s seen you at rock bottom, and he’s still with you, because he loves you and nothing is going to change that, He’s going to love how ever you propose, not because of how big the proposal is, or how pricey the ring is, but because it’s from you. Could you get that through your thick skull”

Dean looked back to the ring. He could see it on the other’s finger perfectly, it would look beautiful against his tanned skin. “I'm going to ask him this weekend.”

~~~

“AND THEN, THERE WAS A FUCKING RING IN HIS CHAMPAGNE!” Dean screamed, “WHAT SON OF A BITCH PROPOSES IN CHAMPAGNE?”

“It ended up being for the table next to you. Then because you’re an idiot you told Cas that you think marriage is stupid, usless, and gouverment propaganda-” Sam paused, “I don’t think you know what propaganda means.”

Dean glanced at his brother then back to the road, “I’ve told you this already?”

“At least twenty three times, and it’s only been a week.” Sam replied, “when was the last time you’ve seen him?”

“Well it’s been a week since the ring incident, so a week.”

A sigh came from his right, though this time Dean didn’t turn his head, instead continuing to watch the road. He could drive the route in his sleep, though Dean preferred the familiar scenery over his brother’s disapproving looks. Sam had insisted he needed a book from Castiel’s apartment, and that Dean had to drive him, which was absolute bullshit.

Sam knew where Cas lived

He had his own car.

Dean guessed Sam was just done watching him mope around.

The rest of the drive was done in silence, until they pulled up to Castiel's apartment building, a tall expensive one at least triple the size of Dean’s own, when Sam pulled out his phone. “Shit,” he cried, sliding unlock, “I missed a call from work could you grab the book for me?”

“Fine,” Dean mumbled.

He pushed open the drivers door, making sure to give Sam one last glare before he got out. “Fuckin’ idiot.” Dean continued to complain as he walked to the building's front door, typing in the code before he pushed open the front door, and stepped into the main entrance.

His annoyance didn’t falter, as he took the elevator up to Cas’s floor, and then made his way down the hallway. He missed the other, but he didn’t want to see Cas. He didn’t want to be reminded of the ring that burned in his pocket, or of his failure to propose. He didn’t want to be reminded of his fears.

Frankly all Dean wanted was to lay in his bed, and listen to sad Led Zeppelin songs.

“Who even reads fuckin books,” Dean grumbled, unlocking Cas’s door. As he pushed open the door Dean’s mouth opened to yell a greeting, though as quickly as his mouth opened, it was shut again, his breath hitching in his throat at the scene in front of him.

Roses, candles, Cas. On one knee. A box raised. Ring rested in the centre.

Cas proposing.

Shit.

Dean lips parted only to close seconds later, then open once again, the words never seeming to come. He could only focus on the hammering of his heart, and Cas. Cas proposing.

Cas was proposing.

Cas was proposing to him.

Shit he really needed to say something.

“Well fuck me,” Dean finally whispered, the smallest smile spreading across the others face.

“Hello Dean.”

“Cas-“ he didn’t know what he wanted to say, he wasn’t even sure if it was truly happening as he hesitantly walked towards the other, vision seeming to blur worse with each step. He was going to cry. He didn’t care. “Cas-“

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel began in his usual steady voice. That was all it took before the tears began rolling down Dean’s face, a hand going to his mouth to stop the sobs that he knew would be quick to follow. “There are billions of people in this world, there are endless possibilities, and I understand that you don’t believe in faith, despite that we somehow came together.”

Cas paused for a moment, his blue eyes staring up, wide and hazy. Cas was proposing. Cas was proposing.

Was Dean breathing? He wasn’t sure.

“We were not destined to be together.”

“It was not faith that had brought us together.”

“It was our choice.”

“We chose to be together, through every day, through every fight, through every impossible battle. We choose each other.”

“Dean, would you please do me the honor of choosing me again?”

Dean could only nod frantically as tears fell from his eyes, a choked sob passing his lips. “I-” Dean began using one hand to wipe away the tears as Cas stood, and took his other to slide the ring on. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

“I love you as well.”

Dean stepped forward pulling his fiance into a tight hug. He rested his chin against Cas’s shoulder as the other wrapped his arms around Dean in a just as tight hug. For a moment he couldn’t speak, a mix of emotion twisting his stomach, his heart hammering frantically in his chest.

Through it all only one thought stayed clear in his mind, Cas proposed to him.

Cas proposed.

“I was going to.” Dean explained as he pulled away, his gaze darting across the other’s features. His blue eyes, his tanned skin, dark hair. God he was stunning. Dean could stare forever. “Propose I mean, but you know things weren’t working, and It just never seemed to be the right time, and-”

“Sam had told me,” Cas said, interrupting Dean’s rambling much to his relief.

Dean didn’t reply, his gaze staying locked on the other. They were so close, they were always so close, though for once Dean finally looked away, and instead down to the ring on his finger. It was a shiny silver one, with a diamond in the centre, adn small ones lining the band. It was gorgeous, Dean couldn’t stop staring, or the smile that spread across his face.

He couldn’t even find it in him to be angry at Sam.

“Yes,” Cas suddenly said, Dean’s gaze darting from the ring and back to the other, a small frown grazing his lips

“What?”

“Yes,” Cas repeated, “My answer to your proposal is yes. I will marry you.”

Dean grinned, his gaze once again locked on the other. “I love you so fuckin’ much.”

[dreaming-gamer]

Magic Touch – Nero X V - Chapter 2

Firefighter Nero x Massage Therapist V

AU, First Meetings

True to his unspoken word, Nero had booked another treatment, two weeks later. Too early? Too late? He couldn’t really tell, but there was demand for the particular massage treatment that he’d gotten, so he couldn’t even get an earlier appointment.

Nero threw himself into work with new vigor, looking forward to the day. His stomach sometimes made small flip-flops, at the thought of returning to the spa. To feel those hands undo tension he didn't even know he had and hear that deep voice again. Maybe this time, get to know V, just a little better.

***

"Nero Sparda?"

He quickly looked up from the magazines he'd barely been reading, during his wait. But the voice calling his name was not the one Nero had expected. Nor hoped for. His heart sank into his stomach, taking out that anticipation that had made him turn each page quickly, just scanning the content.

"Here." He said, raising from the lounge chair to shake hands with a tall woman, her hair put up in a ponytail. She was dressed in the same white uniform V had been.

"I'm Alexandra and I'll be in charge of your massage. Right this way please."

Nero followed her, but let his gaze wander over the entrances to the pool area, one more time. Just to see if V would show.

He didn't have that luck.

Not wanting to seem like an asshole, or stalker, Nero didn't ask Alexandra if V worked today. He wanted to slap himself for not having thought about that maybe, he would get another therapist during his next visit. But if wasn't like they had told him when he made the reservation, who'd be in charge of the treatment.

The routine was similar to his first time but the room wasn't exactly the same. That quote he didn't really get last time wasn't on the wall, this one had a frame with ‘Carpe diem’ printed on it, in pink letters. Not that Nero understood what the poem had meant, but it felt like it meant something more than just 'catch the day'. As he got down on the bench this time, he kept his eyes closed, not that it helped with that stubborn little knot of disappointment in his chest.

Sure, the treatment was still nice, but it was not V’s hands, nor V’s smooth voice speaking to him. The relaxation wasn’t the real, or rather, only reason he’d booked it after all. Maybe Nero should have just asked for him? But would V find that pushy? Or charming? Nero sure hoped the later.

His muscles felt pleasantly relaxed after the massage today as well, but he hadn’t gotten to the point of falling asleep. Alexandra's grip had been firm, the treatment great, but just not exactly what he hoped for.

And Nero’s wallet might not want him to book another massage too soon. It was a given that a spa was pricey after all, he'd been shocked when he understood what Kyrie and his family had actually paid, for his first treatment.

When he left the spa this time, Nero felt a bit defeated. It had probably just been pure chance, him meeting V that day. And he was kind of annoyed at himself, for being so disappointed when V wasn't there.

Nero gave up, if he met V again, that would be great but he wasn't going to stalk the therapist's workplace. Better keep expectations and hopes low, the city was big, if V even lived in it.

***

Nero knew Kyrie typically thought he worked too much, but in the life as a firefighter, there wasn’t much other choice. Sure, work usually meant more preparation, training and equipment testing rather than emergencies. Not as if that was a bad thing. Nero took pride in his work, but of course, it was always better if there were no emergencies destroying anybody’s homes or lives.

Having been at work for another 24-hour shift, he was heading home around noon, cracking his neck a bit as he drove. As he was passing through a slow trafficked street, Nero’s eyes fell upon an old car, looking like it was leaking oil onto the pavement, parked on one side of the road.

The black haired man standing next to it however, made Nero’s eyes go wide. He quickly scanned for another parking spot alongside the street, turned the wheel the second it became safe to do so.

As he parked, Nero let out a deep breath.

What the hell was he doing?

Was he spying on V? Because now that he could see the man through the windshield, a few cars away, he could certainly tell it was V, from his profile.

But he looked… different. Gone was the proper white uniform of the spa. Instead, he wore what appeared to be a short sleeved black shirt, putting his thin arms on display and they were... well… covered in tattoos. Intricate patterns were inked into his skin, no wonder he wore long sleeves at work. He looked like a different man with a mysterious air around him.

But the look on his face, Nero noted, was rather bothered as he talked into the phone. Right, hadn’t Nero seen some oil leak from that car?

Considering his options for a second, it looked like V needed help. And walking away from a person in need wasn’t really Nero’s style. V was maybe getting the help he needed, from that call but… Nero felt like he'd regret it, if he didn't reach out now. He got out of the car, just as V seemed to finish his conversation on the phone with a sigh through his nose.

“Hey V?”

The black haired man looked up and Nero just realized another thought. How many customers did V have, in a week? Maybe he didn’t even remember Nero, from their one meeting. And almost a month had passed! His stomach turned into knots on itself, bracing for the possibly awkward conversation coming up.

So when V’s eyes widened just a bit in recognition, there was a warm feeling of relief undoing the knots and making his stomach do a pleasant flip-flop.

“Nero. To what do I owe the pleasure?” His tone was mildly interested, as if he hadn’t expected to see Nero here.

That deep voice. With a pang in his chest, Nero realized how much he had missed it. His name sounded incredible, on those plump lips.

“I’m just passing through and saw you. Noticed your car leaking oil there, everything okay?” He hadn’t expected V to own a car such as this one, it was small and looked rather old.

“Well, no. As you so accurately observed, it is leaking oil. And the oil lamp is alight, whenever I turn the ignition. Which the garage graciously told me is a clear sign I should not be driving this vehicle, this otherwise so fine day.” V explained patiently, but he looked bothered by the fact, his head a bit lowered as he glanced at the car. And were those, bags under his eyes? Nero got the feeling V hadn’t been sleeping well.

“What garage did you call? I got a friend working at one, Devil May Drive?” Nero said, walking around the car and got down on one knee to check under the front. Yeah, that spill of oil was getting bigger by the drop.

“I… certainly thought the name was odd, but that is the one I called, to salvage this.” V admitted. “Are you knowledgeable about cars?”

“Nah, but my uncle is. He owns that place, don’t ask me how he came up with the name…” Nero still wondered and he had a feeling it involved a drunken escapade or two.

“I see. They told me they would arrive shortly, but…”

Nero looked up, V seemed deep in thought.

“Where were you heading?” He asked.

“To work. And without the car, I am afraid arriving on time is proving to be… difficult.” V pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he had a headache coming on.

“Oh.” Nero didn’t even think. “Want me to drive you?”

“...pardon?” Nero met V’s green eyes, he looked like he wasn’t sure what to make of the offer. Nero had merely been his customer once, one of many for sure, it was no surprise if V was reluctant.

“Yeah, I know where it is, my day’s free. I can take you, once they’ve collected this…” Nero gestured to the car, held in the words ‘piece of junk’ with some effort. The car paint was a deep black, one of the doors buckled in places. It was obviously old, the front even seemed about ready to fall off.

“That is… very generous of you.” V said, seemingly considering. Nero had a feeling he didn’t have many options. With a small nod, V continued. “If you… do not mind, I graciously accept your offer.”

Nero grinned with confidence.

“I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t okay. Let’s just wait around for them to salvage your car, then I’ll take you.”

Was it just wishful thinking, or did V’s shoulders drop slightly from relief?

“Yes, thank you very much.” V said, offering a small, amused smile. God, Nero had missed it.

“Hey, no worries.” Nero said, standing up and leaning against the car as they waited. “I wasn’t expecting the tattoos.” He admitted, before his brain would grasp at straws for a topic of conversation.

“I’m sure you can imagine why my work attire has long sleeves.” V chuckled. “These do not give off the… tranquil atmosphere, that is so sought after, at my work.”

“They must have hurt?” Nero wondered, because V’s arms certainly seemed to show off a pattern, leading up his arms. Even his v-collar showed off some markings, reaching up as thin lines on his throat.

“They certainly took time and yes, some discomfort.” V nodded, just as a loud honk made him look up.

Nero grinned and waved as he recognized the person behind the driver’s wheel. Nico stuck her head out of the window, a cigarette between her fingers.

“Whatcha doin’ here asshole?” She greeted with her usual mirth, waving at him to get out of the way as she parked the monstrous tow truck in front of V’s… less working vehicle. In bold, red letters ‘Devil May Drive’ was printed on the side of the truck. Her sleeves were rolled up, displaying the tattoos on her arms.

“Just watching you do your job.” Nero teased.

With a hop in her step, Nico climbed out of the driver’s seat, walking over to the front of V’s car and squat down to check.

“Hoowie, what do we have here? Yep, that’s not going anywhere except the garage.” She whistled, straightening up and grinning at V. “So you’re the owner huh? Must have had this beauty for a while?”

Nero just stared at her, it looked like a piece of moving junk! Except it wasn’t even moving now!

“It has not failed me yet. However, I would be grateful to hear the supposed prize of… fixing this inconvenience.” V admitted, tilting his head in question.

“Sorry man, can’t give ya one until it’s back in the garage.” Nico shrugged, tapping her shoe lightly against the pavement. “Hey, I didn’t catch a name?”

“You can call me V.” He smiled politely.

“Uh huh… wait, what?” Nico nodded, then her eyes went wide.

V tilted his head slightly, watching her.

"Did I say something… peculiar?"

Nico wasn't looking at him though, she was focused on Nero, who knew something he didn't want to hear, was coming.

"Is this the guy you went back to--"

"Alright Nico, thanks for taking care of it!" Nero raised his voice and walked past her towards his own car. "V's gonna be late for work, we gotta go!" The thought of V finding out he'd gone back to find him at the spa suddenly felt really embarrassing. He put an arm around V’s thin shoulders without thinking, guiding him towards Nero’s car with haste.

“Hey hey hey! Fine, but you’re giving me details later, jackass!” Nico shouted, her hands on her hips. “I’ll send details about the bill by text!” She added, probably to V.

Don’t say it like that! Nero shouted in his head, walking fast to reached his car. The therapist was watching him curiously and Nero’s mind ground to a halt. Whoa, he probably acted very suspiciously right now. His arm was still around the poet’s lean shoulders! As if burned, Nero let go.

“I, uh… sorry I grabbed you--” He started, unsure how to continue.

“It is alright and... you are not incorrect. I wish not to be late.” V told him with a teasing smirk and got into the passenger’s seat. Nero stared for a few seconds, V smirked at him from inside the car and Nero scrambled to get behind the wheel. This massage therapist was… really something else.

The motor rumbled to life as he turned the ignition and as he started to drive, Nero was struggling to find something to talk about. He wanted to get to know the therapist better, but what to talk about?! The problem dissolved, as V was the first to speak.

“So you are off duty today. Correct me if I’m wrong, but being a firefighter does include rather long… shifts, does it not?” V asked him as Nero turned his car from the city streets, out onto the open road. He felt sweat coat his palm as he switched gears.

V had remembered not only his name, but his work? Nero grinned, his heart doing a little jump.

“Yeah, it does. Sure, it’s a lot of time on standby, just taking care of equipment. Training, that kind of stuff. Inform the public of common fire hazards.” He nodded to himself, eyes on the road. “But when there’s an emergency, you have to be ready. It’s like instinct takes over. Get in, look for survivors and be quick.” Nero couldn’t deny that it was a rush, every time. That itch inside of him that told him to help. To not pull his feet.

V listened to him with a quiet smile, looking as if he had just proven a theory.

“What?” Nero wondered, quickly turning his eyes back to the road. Not only because V’s smile made his stomach make flip-flops!

“Nothing. I just noted that you appear to enjoy your profession.” V said with a small chuckle.

The tips of Nero’s ears flushed, just barely.

"Yeah, I do. What about you? You like your work?"

V chuckled.

"Yes. It might not be exactly what I planned from the start… but I feel satisfied. He who desires but acts not, breeds pestilence.” A small smirk spread on V’s face, his tone even more smooth as he seemed to quote something.

Nero blinked. In the therapist’s smooth voice, the words sounded well… cool, but he sure didn’t get the meaning. And he wasn’t about to admit it!

“Uh huh… that poetry or something?”

“Yes, indeed.” V said, his tone amused at the confusion Nero tried to hold back. “Perhaps you are not familiar with William Blake?”

“Not really, no. That quote on the wall, was it the same guy?” Nero tried. Okay, so he didn’t know poetry, but from the way this was going, it seemed to be an interest of V’s. Score, new knowledge.

V’s eyes widened, ever so slightly.

“You are observant.” He said smoothly, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Hah! Nico would call me a lot of things, that is not one of them!” Nero laughed.

“Your friend seem to be a rather amusing individual.”

“At least she doesn’t drive like a maniac when she’s working. Your… car should be fine, once she’s fixes it up.” Nero held back the urge to call V’s car something… less of a car.

“I certainly hope so.” V replied, seeming a bit deep in thought.

Maybe the imminent cost of the repair was bothering him? Or how long it would take?

The turn he’d have to make to get to the spa was coming up. Nero held in a sigh, already? Well, it was good that V didn’t have to be late for work, but he kind of wished this car ride would last a bit longer. Give him more chances to get to know V.

“So, Nico’s great with cars. And quick, so you’ll probably get it back soon. I wouldn’t be surprised if she texts you the cost today already, if she can’t get a hold of you with a call.” Nero said, he knew Nico, she was great with fixing that stuff. He made the turn and the spa building, white and pristine came into view.

��That is very reassuring to hear.” The massage therapist replied with small smile. Nero’s heart leapt from seeing it. Only to fall slightly, as he pulled the car to a stop, in front of the entrance. What was he to do now? Just say “nice to see ya, hope to meet ya?” Ask for V’s number? Did he dare to take that leap? They’d met twice! Nero had never really dated anyone, except Kyrie and that had been much easier to start, still nerve-racking, but--

"I thank you for the ride." V’s smile turned wider, as his words cut through the train of thoughts in Nero’s head. He turned to Nero, giving his shoulder a light pat. "Perhaps I will see you again… at the garage."

"Yeah, sure! I mean, it might happen.." Nero felt like slamming his hands against the wheel at his own rambling, as the therapist opened up the door, chuckling.

"I must be off. Good day to you, Nero."

"Yeah, to you too.” Nero hesitated but a moment. “Hey V-"

Long enough for the car door to shut. Nero could only see the therapist walk away, with that slight sway to his hips. Nero’s heart sank, he should have just opened his mouth about exchanging phone numbers earlier… How was the therapist even going to get home? Maybe he had someone he could call to get him at least, or was he taking the bus?

Nero sure wished he could be the one to pick V up, but the therapist was getting further and further away from him, making the moment slip away.

But there was a glimmer of hope, V had even said they might meet again. The mere thought made Nero grin as he drove back home.

_________________________________________

Thank you to @la-vita, @thottyonmainsquid and @thedyingmoon! ❤️❤️❤️ Without your support, this second part would not have been made!

[food-advisor]

As an experienced stress Baker, I have never Felt much less Like Making Bread

In case you’re a millennial living through the coronavirus outbreak, possibilities are you’ve thought about making bread sooner or later inside the beyond few weeks.

 And, as someone who loves to bake and were given into sourdough just a few months before it has become the pandemic carb of choice, you’d think I’d be overjoyed that my newfound hobby is now Cool. However no, I’m sorry to mention I'm just in no mood for this doughy bullshit right now.

I’ve been a strain baker for the reason that university, whilst I used to be first brought to the term with the aid of a roommate who baked the ugliest and maximum delicious chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had. (She plated them too early so they all cooled into one gooey, chocolatey mountain. It became great.) starting with cupcakes—recall whilst cupcakes had been “in”?—I quickly learned that baking becomes a green manner to distract myself from the anxieties of the day, earn an experience of achievement, and emerge as with a delicious deal with all in one hobby.

Now not best changed into baking a manner for me to de-pressure, but it also has become a larger part of my identification and a brand new manner for me to connect to my buddies. I was a person who knew all of their favorite flavor mixtures and taken them cupcakes on their birthdays. I performed around with melting and, sure, tempering chocolate to make cookie decorations. I discovered that homemade pie crust, surprisingly, came quite effortlessly to me. On a college price range and without an electric mixer, I whipped cream by way of hand more than once.

After sampling a few friends’ homes made bread 12 months or so in the past, I found out that I used to be geared up to venture out of the world of candies. However, sourdough, as many human beings are now locating, is difficult—and rewarding—in an entirely exclusive manner. First off, it requires the use of a starter, that's a little microenvironment made from flour and water that permits yeast and micro organism to flourish. The aggregate of organisms is what helps the bread upward thrust and offers it that conventional tangy flavor. There's no shame in the use of some of a chum’s starter or asking a bakery for a chunk of theirs to get yours going, however, I determined to make my own. I wager I wanted a touch extra ownership of it? Truly, I suppose I wanted to be able to mention I did all of it myself.

Getting the starter going within the relax of an NYC October took a complete month of my life, but now my starter is a hearty little gal I’ve named Abigail. I’ve already given bits of Abigail out to a few other folks who are now baking delicious loaves (I assume; I can simplest enjoy them through Instagram now). My first loaves were now not quite, however they rose and that changed into thrilling enough. My next ones were consistently excellent and seem to get a little tangier with every try.

Did you know that freshly baked bread crackles while you take it out of the oven? I’m not positive why. I assume it has to do with the crust and matters expanding inside it. But whatever the purpose, it’s the maximum gratifying sound within the global after what is generally at the least a 24-hour sourdough-advent system. I might make myself wait for just long enough for the loaf to chill so that I should reduce into the middle of it, eager to get a have a look at the pattern of bubbles internal, after which show it off to my (now successfully long-distance) boyfriend within the other room earlier than we ate dinner together. I even talked to my therapist frequently approximately my sourdough adventures and as soon as showed him an image of a loaf I used to be mainly pleased with.

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All of this is to mention that pre-pandemic Sarah becomes living for sourdough and the long, sluggish demanding situations it delivered. The integration, resting, proofing, and baking processes are a touch distinctive for every loaf, and I thrived on the affected person experimentation, hassle-solving, and tinkering that sourdough calls for. My loaves have been by no means ideal and probably by no means maybe, however they had been usually delicious and worth the attempt. It was a reliable, meditative weekend task that took my thoughts off my Sunday (and, let’s be sincere, Saturday). Plus, baking bread introduced me to an adorable, specific community on Instagram—inclusive of a new live performance friend.

Considering all this, you’d suppose the #pandemicbread motion might have spoken without delay, particularly, loudly to me of everybody. However, the fact is that I haven’t baked bread of any type in weeks, and Abigail is sitting idly in my refrigerator. I want to bake—of course, I need to bake—but it simply isn’t occurring. The pressure I’m dealing with now could be special, manifestly, and it’s all-ingesting. This is not me being frightened about a final examination or a task at work—that is me looking for a way to cope, by some means, with the principles of our lives abruptly converting and the worry of humans I understand being hospitalized or demise. Sourdough simply can’t compete with the existential dread of residing via an actual, for-real pandemic.

But there are also the superficial blocks: whilst all I've is time, I'm able to stand the idea of spending a complete day making bread simplest for it to be not as proper as I want it to be. And the Instagrams, pricey God, the Instagrams! I will assist but compare my loaves to different humans’s—a few who simply began baking. The competition, completely fueled by me and my very own lame insecurities is simply inescapable.

What have I baked? I made some half of-hearted biscuits, sure. I made a few matzahs for Passover, which turned into, well, matzah. But I subsequently had to admit to myself that what I used to be virtually craving wasn’t a ~home made artisan sourdough boule~ but rather brownies. Greater fudge-y. From a box. Particularly, the ones my mom used to make. I’ve made and devoured complete bins thus far.

Sourdough and pressure baking may additionally have started as an unbiased, self-directed interest, however, I comprehend now how an awful lot I’ve come to depend upon it as a way to undoubtedly and authentically hook up with different humans. It’s so tacky I will barely carry myself to kind it, but it’s real: Baking for your self isn't half of as fun or enjoyable as baking with and for different humans. I love that stress baking offers me time to awareness some creative strength at something apart from work, however, I also love seeing the way my bakes in shape into different human beings’ lives because they invent area for me there too.

As first-rate as it becomes to spend all day baking bread, it turned into even nicer to peer the pleasure on my buddies’ faces once I introduced over a freshly baked loaf to go together with the excellent cheeses and wines they’d picked out for an evening of gossip, or to get a text from my boyfriend to mention that he was taking part in a slice of my bread along with his soup for lunch at work. Without the opportunity of these interactions, making bread doesn’t deliver me that experience of feat I crave. It simply jogs my memory of ways lonely and hopeless this moment sincerely feels.

If getting to know to make bread is a quarantine pastime that brings you joy, that is superb. Embrace it. Lean into it. Perhaps try making a starter of your very own! However, for now, I’m leaning inside the other path—toward nostalgia, simplicity, and comfort—and sticking with brownies. The fudgier, the better.

[erisgregory]

You Oughta Know

cross posted to AO3

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019) Relationship: Alex Manes & Kyle Valenti Characters: Alex Manes, Michael Guerin, Kyle Valenti Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Apologies Summary: Alex is meeting Kyle at the bar for their date, but first he runs into Michael. A much needed conversation occurs. Author's Notes: This has been stuck in my head for days but then I didn't know hwo to tag it. I'd be kind of upset if I were looking for a Kylex fic and found this and very upset if I were looking for a Malex fic and found this so please be gentle with me. There's not really a good way to tag the relationships here. Also I took the bar names from actual bars in Roswell, NM so blame them for their weirdness.

Alex doesn’t see him until he slides into the stool next to him. He wants to leave, to just stand and go, but he’s meeting Kyle after work and Kyle won’t be there for another ten or fifteen minutes.

“Not even going to say hello?” Michael asks. There’s an edge to his words that makes Alex bristle.

“Hello.” Alex answers dryly. He downs the rest of his beer and waves the bartender over for another.

Alex has taken to drinking at Farley’s to avoid this very thing that was now happening. Farley’s was a crap bar full of drunken crap people, but the beer was cheap and the bartender hadn’t betrayed him over a guy so that was a bonus.

“So, Valenti, huh?” Michael says the name like it’s something he scraped from his shoe and that makes Alex go hot and cold all at once.

“You don’t get yo talk to me about my love life. You decided that when you started dating Maria.” Alex throws the name at him with as much anger as possible.

The thing is, Alex knows that’s not entirely fair. He’d pushed Michael away, ended things with him too many times and then just expected he’d be ready for something real once Alex was. Of course things didn’t work out between them. How could they?

But he’d gone to Maria, that was the unforgivable part. Someone who was supposed to be his best friend, two people who were supposed to care about him, choosing each other over him. No he wasn’t ready to be forgiving. Even though he was with Kyle now.

Kyle who would be here soon and then they could leave. Or he could leave now and call Kyle, but he was probably already most of the way there. Besides, Alex felt the tiniest bit smug that Michael would have to see him with Kyle as they leave together.

“I’m not, though.” Michael says it so softly that at first Alex is unsure he’s heard correctly.

“What?” Alex forgets his beer and glances back at Michael who looks completely earnest and surprised.

“I said, I’m not. Dating Maria. I’m not.” Michael takes a deep breath and sits up a little straighter. “I thought you knew that.” He adds.

Alex shakes his head. “No. No one tells me anything, remember?” He feels a little bit like the world is tipping too far on its axis. The bar around them has ceased to exist entirely. He almost stands up and walks out because this? This is too strange to be real.

“I’m sorry, I really thought someone would have told you. Maria and I just kissed and then all of that happened with Max dying and needing to be brought back and there was just too much going on and in the end she didn’t really want to hurt you or to be involved with someone who was in love with someone else.” Michael explains.

Alex maybe hears half of what he says, it’s as if he’s listening through a ball of cotton in his ear, there’s a low level hum and everything is muted, like a bomb has gone off and he’s temporarily stunned by it.

“Maria never said anything, how can that be?” Alex asks. He’s not particularly asking Michael, but Michael goes ahead and answers like he is.

“I think she just feels really guilty. I know I do. I was an asshole for leaving you in the lurch like that and for kissing Maria, but that’s all that happened. So you really didn’t know? All this time you thought we were seeing each other?” Michael asks.

“I really didn’t know.” Alex echoes the words as though trying to get it all to sink in.

Michael laughs humorlessly. “And so this Valenti thing, is that supposed to be payback?”

That snaps Alex back to reality. “What? No! No, of course not. Kyle’s been there for me. It sort of just happened.”

“You know, we all thought he was straight. So how does that just happen?” Michael wants to know.

Alex fixes him with a stare. “You really don’t have the right to ask, even now.” Alex tells him.

Michael holds up his hands in defeat. “Fine. It just happened and now you’re with him and I’ve been avoiding the Pony so I wouldn’t have to see you there and I’m guessing that’s why you’re here. Because the Black Cock Brewery is too pricey. I would know because that’s where I’ve been until tonight.”

Alex just nods silently.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” Michael says.

“Hey babe.” Kyle says walking up. He looks between them, eyebrows creasing. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m ready, can we just go?” Alex asks, standing.

“Sure.” Kyle says. “We can go. See you around, Guerin.” He says, slinging a proprietary arm around Alex’s shoulders.

Michael appears to slump just the tiniest bit but doesn’t say anything. They get a few paces away before Alex stops and turns around. He stares at Michael just a bit longer than he means to. “It’s worth a lot.” He tells Michael. Then he turns and walks out with Kyle.

Alex is happy with Kyle, he really is, but that night he cries himself to sleep in his pillow. He cries for missed opportunities and for miscommunications. He cries for pushing Michael away so many times and for not asking about Michael and Maria’s relationship. He cries because it’s well and truly over and because Michael had said Maria couldn’t be with him because he was in love with someone else.

Finally he cries just to let it all out. He cries like never before until the tears are all gone and all that’s left is a sense of closure. There in the silent darkness of his bedroom he promises to do better in the future. Better by Michael and better by Kyle. He can learn from his mistakes and be a better person. He can get help maybe, see that therapist his VA doctor recommended. He can change and he will change. And he will apologize to Michael the way Michael had apologized to him.

Then, just maybe, he will find peace.

[lovemecharlie]

When Charlie Met Erik

Part 2

"Anyway. You still wanna talk about what's reaally bothering you or nah? You did pay for this session afterall."

"Iunno. Mess around you gone know my whole life by the time we leave for lunch."

"Pfft, ha! Good try but I'm not leaving here with you. I have a session after this."

"It's just lunch, Charlie. All them curves. You gotta eat if you wanna keep em."

"Fuck off, Erik. I can continue to buy my own lunch just fine and like I said.. I'm booked. You asked for time. This is your time. You have more than enough to say whatever you need to say."

"Booo, you booked," he groans kissing his teeth, "New client?"

"Yes."

"Bakari Jordan?" His eyebrow ticked and I squinted for a split second wondering if he went through the appointment book until it hit me like a brick.

"There is something severely wrong with you. I'm completely serious." He'd double booked under different names.

"Well, I'm right here in therapy. Maybe my wise therapist can fix it.. over lunch.. eat and talk." He grins looking wide-eyed and cute and I roll my eyes at the ceiling. He's like a little pitbull puppy and cute animals are a weakness.

But I know better.. He's not sweet, he's plotting. And he definitely isn't slick.

"I'm a counselor, not a miracle worker and your issues are too deep to solve over one lunch."

"You right, we need dinner too."

--

"This is good, you gotta try it. Take a bite." His maw is stretched wide full of half masticated cow, the house special, and I wanna say it's disgusting, but somehow he's still adorable, his burger in my face to bite. His crazy must be rubbing off on me.

"I don't know how you talked me into coming." Hesitantly, I take a small bite from the side he hasn't bitten and it's actually really good.

"I should've gotten what you ordered," I muse. I ordered a grilled salmon salad on his dime, but his choice was better.

"Box that up then and order the burger. You should get what you want."

That's exactly what I did.

--

"My office is in the other direction. Where are you taking me?"

"I just wanna pick your brain," he chuckles at the double entendre, then again when he catches me staring out the corner of my eye. I still don't trust him. At this point, we both have trust issues. "When's the last time you killed a man?"

"Are you wearing a wire or something?"

"You could pat me down if you'd like." His offer is very tempting. Who wouldn't wanna rub their hands all over that?

"Pass. Been a little while." Less than a year to be honest.

"Why you stop?" Mind your business, rich nigga. "I stopped because my plan failed and I had nothing else... My wives had to help me see what was still real and worth living for. I killed so many fuckin people and you were right.. It was in and out of the military. I tried to kill the white world into order and for a second I was close, but things ain't work out that way." He paused, taking his eyes off the road to look at me, nonverbally asking me again for my reasoning. I sighed watching the road.

"I killed because I was tired of the creeps taking advantage of women and children and getting away with it. I felt justified, like someone had to put them down and stop it. I stopped because it was stressing me out. No matter how many men I kill, I can never eliminate the problem. There will always be another and I'll be left exhausted."

"We're not that different. Our reasons are pretty much the same which is why I can't judge you and vice versa. You had good intentions," he says and it's true my warped sense of justice does seem to mirror his. I drop my head against the window as the car rolls on with no care as to where it's going. There's no particular destination it seems, just a long ride and a long conversation until we're finally back at my office and he drops me off.

We're the same. The thought echoes in my head as I'm working. As clients talk to me about their frustrations and anxieties. As I'm going over treatment plans and congratulating them for completing objectives and reaching their goals. I can't stop thinking about Erik and how similar we are to the core. There is something about him that refuses to be pushed down, abused, ignored, or forgotten. It's the same thing that keeps me pushing forward. I do want to see him again. I do like him. It doesn't take me days or weeks to know that.. but I'll deliberately make him wait that long before I express any sign of interest. In case he fucks something up in between time.

The office phone rings and it's Teela. "You have a call from Erik Stevens," one of your new clients.

"Put him through."

"Don't forget, I'm picking you up for dinner. You'd probably be pissed if you knew I knew where you lived so let's pretend I don't. Stay at your office and get some work done. I'll come scoop you at 6," he said hanging up.

Little did he know I wasn't pissed, nor was I surprised. No he couldn't surprise me anymore with his stalking ways because I already knew what it was. I made a run to the store before returning to my office to do just as he said. To the very last minute I worked and when he came, I rode with him to a pricey seafood restaurant. Again, he paid and the conversation ranged from our interests, to our musical tastes, to his wives. He could go on and on about them. The way he spoke with so much affection and passion was jarring and endearing. He was a big old softie at heart when it came to them. "You should meet them," he smiled, but I wasn't about to enter a house full of spoiled and crazy women fighting over a man. I didn't want the smoke or the stress, plus the mansion he spoke of was cross- country. "I'd buy your ticket. First class," he'd offered, but I wasn't sold. I rejected the offer.

"You'll be wife number seven soon enough," he spoke with patience, sipping his wine. "If I gotta wait with a radio outside your window in the snow. It's gonna happen."

"We'll see if you still say that as time passes," I shrugged.

--

Time passed. Weeks and then months. In that time, I tracked everywhere he drove with a device I'd purchased from Best Buy before he found it on his car.

"You been stalking me woman," he called Teela at the front desk and got connected to me to ask.

"What about it," I shrugged. I knew his schedule and where he stayed. When the car was still for too long I knew he was out of town. Two could play this game of his. He hung up and my cell phone rang.

"Don't play a prince, Cha. I got tricks."

"Play with your six vaginas, don't play with me," Charlie smirked hanging up. She knew by now that he hated being hung up on.

He was making this a fun game.

@poosypoosy @bastioncarterstevens-udaku @hennessystevens-udaku @itsangeludaku @alyshastevens-udaku @itskimorafireudaku @allhailnjadaka @bidibidibombaclaat @blackpinup22 @destinio1 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @leahnicole1219 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark

[debtfreeinthree]

Why Self-Care Doesn't (Always) Mean Spending More Money

Lately, I’ve been seeing the word “self-care” thrown about often. I feel like I see it on every social media platform and in magazine ads and I hear it when I’m talking to my friends.

I am a BIG fan of self-care. My favorite ways to self-care are going to my therapist, doing a facial mask a few times a week and eating more veggies than I used to.

But lately, I’ve seen self-care bastardized and co-opted for marketing campaigns and by Instagram influencers. They use self-care to sell you something you probably don’t even need. But in an age where self-care is a valuable commodity, everyone is hopping on the self-care bandwagon.

My Self-Care Journey

When she was stressed out, my college roommate Leah would sometimes declare a “mental health day.” She’d skip class, indulge in a favorite romantic comedy and generally just chill out.

When I was stressed out, I would often indulge in retail therapy, another bullshit term used to entice women to shop. In fact, I became so good at retail therapy that I ended up with a bulging closet and a collection of bras so large my friends used to make fun of me.

My retail therapy took a huge upswing when I lived in New York for a summer, interning at the Associated Press. I was so stressed out with work that I often overspent just to make myself feel better. I’d take a cab instead of the subway or buy food out instead of cooking at home. At one point, I was buying take-out three times a day – THAT’S INSANE!

I used money to make myself feel better, but it never really worked as a long-term strategy. I remember one day I had really messed up at my internship and I went down to the bookstore, where I spent approximately $84 on books and notebooks. Then, I went to the diner to have lunch. I felt sick to my stomach with all my spending, which wasn’t helping me forget about my work mistake.

Money isn’t a band-aid. It isn’t a magic salve that will help you forget about your troubles. In fact, it usually amplifies them.

When I started working as a newspaper reporter making $28,000 a year, I couldn’t afford to rely on retail therapy. After paying my $350 student loan payment, I barely had anything left over. Suddenly, I had to face whatever feelings I was running away from.

Do You Use Self-Care as an Excuse to Spend Money?

I was reading this article from finance guru Tonya Rapley, where she shared her journey from financial abuse victim to financial warrior.

I read this line and immediately knew what she meant:

 But when I left, I had no savings to speak of, and thought that healing myself meant not worrying about how much I was spending.

I’ve never been a victim of abuse, but I’ve been depressed and anxious and thought that worrying about money was counter-productive. Dealing with your finances seems like it’s a chore, but in fact, caring about money is the biggest self-care activity you can do.

One way I hear people talk about stress, self-care and money is this phrase. You’re going to jump back in your seat when you read this. Are you ready? Ok here we go:

I had a bad day, so I DESERVE THIS.

Whoa! Did you just jump back? See, I said you would. Deserve is one of those words that makes it seem like spending money is ok, that it’s great for your mental health. But in fact, it’s just a trick, an excuse your brain uses to spend money when you know you shouldn’t.

How often have you been feeling crappy and used the phrase “I deserve” to justify buying something? It can be as small as a new NYX lipstick or as big as a Kate Spade purse, but this phrase is DESTRUCTIVE TO YOUR FINANCES.

How to Do Self-Care on a Budget

Ok so if bottomless mimosas and retail therapy are outlawed, how can you actually relax, take some time for yourself and not feel bad about it afterward?

Here are my favorite ideas for self-care on a budget:

Take a bubble bath

Ok, yes, you might be thinking: isn’t this kind of an old-fashioned idea? But lemme tell you something: Bubble baths work! Any time I’ve taken a bubble bath, my first thought is, “Why don’t I do this more often?” Quietly soaking in a hot bath is one of the most invigorating activities you can do.

I don’t even buy pricey bubble bath. I just use body oils and body wash I already have and pump in lots of my favorite moisturizer. My bubble bath doesn’t look perfect, but I leave with smooth skin and a calm mind.

Do something with my hands

Most of the time when I feel the need for self-care, I really just want some quiet. The world can feel so loud and noisy and even scrolling through my Instagram feed can seem too much. Sometimes it feels good to get back to the basics and do something tactile. I’ll usually get out my sewing or jewelry-making supplies and work on a simple project.

Sometimes I’ll even get out my watercolors or drawing pencils. Ever wondered why adult coloring books were so popular? It’s the same reason. They allow us to make something with their hands instead of just absorbing content. P.S. For bonus frugal points, I try to find art supplies on sale. Sometimes you can find people giving away free stuff at yard sales or on Craigslist.

Declutter my house 

Ok, I know this sounds like work, but honestly, throwing stuff away is ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS. I love the satisfaction that comes with filling up a 32-liter garbage bag and tossing it away (or putting it in my donate pile).

Decluttering always makes me feel I’ve truly accomplished something. And since I’m still in the stage of life where I move almost every year, I know that every garbage bag I throw away is one less garbage bag I have to pack. Plus, it’s always fun going through old stuff (at least if you’re a weirdo like me).

Bake something decadent 

I love to bake. I think it comes from my mom not baking a lot as a kid and me being jealous of kids who always had boxed brownie mix in their pantry. In college, I made cookies and brownies all the time and started experimenting with my own recipes.

Recently, my husband and I have been watching “The Great British Bake-Off” on Netflix and I’ve rediscovered a love for baking. Last time, I made a two-tier chocolate cake with buttercream frosting. It was so good – I still dream about it when I’m feeling hangry. Baking is one of my favorite self-care activities because it’s so innately satisfying. Baking requires your utmost attention and since I struggle with getting through a sentence without – SQUIRREL – losing track, I love the focus I have to spend on baking.

Baking something yourself is so much better than buying it from a store, unless you’re going to a real bakery in which case you’re spending a lot of money. Not only is the act of baking itself enjoyable, but then you get to eat what you made! Even if you don’t love baking, try making a box cake next time you need self-care. I promise you’ll enjoy the process.

Watch a favorite movie 

Ok this idea kind of seems like cheating because, “Duh, everyone knows watching a movie is a good idea when you’re feeling bad.” But trust me, when was the last time you sat down to watch a good old-fashioned chick flick?

A few weeks ago, I discovered that “Miss Congeniality” was on Netflix so I immediately started watching it while painting my nails. IT FELT SO GOOD. The combo of watching a movie I basically grew up with combined with doing something indulgent like an at-home manicure filled my soul.

If you’re lucky enough to have some girlfriends near you, invite them for a full-blown spa session complete with rom coms. One time, my friends and I made homemade strawberry yogurt masks and did a coffee scrub on our legs. It was hilarious, especially when we realized that we’d left the curtains wide open and everyone on the street could see us with red faces and legs covered in leftover coffee grounds.

Exercise

I hope I don’t get any flack for this comment, but there’s a reason why people recommend exercise when you’re depressed or anxious. When I’m feeling anxious, I tend to think about skipping the gym. But every time I go, I feel better. Maybe instead of your normal routine, do something different. Take a bike ride, do some basic yoga or hit the heavy bag (my personal favorite).

Remember, self-care isn’t always about doing the easiest thing. It’s about doing what will truly help you in the moment and in the long run.

via GIPHY

How do you do self-care on a budget? What are your favorite frugal ways to indulge? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!

Why Self-Care Doesn’t (Always) Mean Spending More Money was originally published on Debt Free After Three

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/world/anna-delvey-the-trial-of-new-yorks-fake-heiress/

Anna Delvey: The trial of New York's fake heiress

Image copyright BFA

Just how far can you get in the New York City socialite scene without a real fortune of your own?

Incredibly far, in the case of Anna Delvey – real name Anna Sorokin – who allegedly tricked the city’s elite into thinking she was a billionaire heiress. She reportedly hired a private jet, went to all the best parties, and threw cash at everyone she saw – a $100 (£78) tip if you carried her bag or were her Uber driver.

Yet, ultimately, her time at the top was short-lived. And it unravelled spectacularly.

In real life, Ms Sorokin had no multi-million-dollar trust fund. According to New York Magazine, her father is a former trucker, who runs a heating-and-cooling business.

After her credit cards began to fail – repeatedly – and she was kicked out of the luxury hotels she lived in, other people were left to pick up the extortionate bills, according to the Manhattan District Attorney’s office.

Following a month-long trial, Ms Sorokin has now been found guilty of multiple offences, including stealing more than $200,000 – after racking up debts and fraudulently trying to secure major bank loans.

“As proven at trial, Anna Sorokin committed real white-collar felonies over the course of her lengthy masquerade,” District Attorney Cyrus Vance said in a statement announcing the conviction.

Ms Sorokin, who chose not to testify and pleaded not guilty, now faces up to 15 years in prison and will be sentenced on 9 May.

So how did this woman in her mid-20s allegedly cause financial chaos across a city, leaving people picking up her tabs in the US and beyond?

‘Faking it’

Anna Delvey came to New York City on a mission. At least that is what she told people.

She wanted to start an arts centre, with a chic Soho House ethos. She was considering calling it the Anna Delvey Foundation, according to New York Magazine, and she claimed to have lined up renowned artist Christo for the inauguration. For the venue, she had her eye on a six-floor space – 45,000 sq ft (4,200 sq m) – in Church Missions House, a prestigious, late 19th Century building, on the corner of Park Avenue and 22nd Street.

There is a certain lifestyle that goes with such bold claims – and she was living it.

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Fyre: the world’s biggest festival flop

Speaking at the trial’s opening, defence lawyer Todd Spodek said: “Anna had to fake it until she could make it.”

He told jurors that Ms Sorokin was “easily seduced by glamour and glitz” when she saw how wealth – or the illusion of wealth – opened doors.

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Anna Sorokin (right), then known as Anna Delvey, at a fashion event at a New York hotel in 2014

According to court documents, Ms Sorokin represented herself as a German heiress with $60m in assets to try to get a loan of $20m for her foundation. She allegedly presented forged bank statements and would also deposit bad cheques, then withdraw the money before they bounced.

Prosecutors said that, while she never managed to secure millions, she did get a temporary $100,000 overdraft with City National Bank – based on forged proof of foreign assets – but she failed to repay it with a wire transfer, as promised.

Instead, they say, she went on a one-month shopping spree, spending $55,000 on “her upkeep at 11 Howard (a luxury hotel), high-end fashion purchases from Net-a-Porter and Forward by Elyse Walker, sessions with a personal trainer, Apple, and other personal expenses”.

Her lawyer said she never intended to commit a crime.

“In her world, this is what her social circle did,” he told the jury. “Everyone’s life was perfectly curated for social media. People were fake. People were phoney. And money was made on hype alone.”

How it unfolded

“Wannabe socialite busted for skipping out on pricey hotel bills”, read a July 2017 headline in the New York Post.

This was followed, in April 2018, by a confessional first-person piece in Vanity Fair by one of the magazine’s photojournalists, saying she had been hoodwinked by Ms Sorokin.

Rachel DeLoache Williams became a key witness in the trial. “I wish I had never met Anna,” she said in the courtroom during a tear-soaked testimony.

She said she had met her at Manhattan nightclub Happy Ending. She said Ms Sorokin held court with tales of her proposed arts foundation and then picked up the tab for a bottle of vodka.

They became friends. Ms Williams wrote in her article about being seduced by the apparent “glamorous, frictionless” lifestyle. She enjoyed going out for espresso martinis and fancy dinners. Anna usually paid, referring to her trust fund, and this culminated in her inviting Ms Williams on a trip to Morocco.

Ms Williams wrote: “Anna also invited her personal trainer, along with a friend of mine – a photographer – whom, at a dinner the week before our trip, Anna had asked to come as a documentarian, someone to capture video.”

Getty Images

Anna’s was a beautiful dream of New York, like one of those nights that never seems to end. And then the bill arrives.

The photo editor was a key witness in the trial. One of the counts of larceny was directly linked to her experiences.

She told how Ms Sorokin asked her to reserve a luxury, $7,000-per-night riad in Marrakesh, complete with three bedrooms, a private swimming pool and a dedicated butler.

She said it was always intended that Ms Sorokin would pay the bill, but when they came to check out, her credit cards did not work.

Put on the spot, Ms Williams ended up footing the bill for the entire trip, which, including extras, came to approximately $62,000 for a six-night stay. Sorokin was acquitted of the charge related to that bill.

The photojournalist said she was left in tears and suffering regular panic attacks, consumed by the stress of trying to retrieve the money.

“It was a magic trick,” she wrote at the conclusion of her story. “I’m embarrassed to say that I was one of the props, and the audience, too. Anna’s was a beautiful dream of New York, like one of those nights that never seems to end. And then the bill arrives.”

Though Ms Williams’ magazine article had had people talking, it was an an article in New York Magazine in May 2018, by journalist Jessica Pressler, that really blew the lid on the scandal. She interviewed various people who had come across Ms Sorokin, including a concierge, Neffatari “Neff” Davis, also in her mid-20s, who worked at the 11 Howard hotel.

Ms Davis said Ms Sorokin arrived at the newly opened Soho hotel like a whirlwind in April 2017, block-booking a deluxe room (around $400 a night). Gestures, such as allegedly paying a personal trainer $4,500 in a cash advance, gave the impression she was wallowing in money. She also spent an inordinate amount of time at the concierge desk, said Ms Davis.

“Usually tourists just come in and ask how to get to the Statue of Liberty,” Ms Davis later told New York art and fashion magazine Paper. “But then, you have this girl who’s draped in Rick Owens, huge Céline glasses, messy hair, European accent, hundreds of dollars of bills on her and she’s literally just giving it to me, for my time?” She said she was used to being a makeshift therapist for guests travelling on their own. “It’s really none of my business where the money comes from,” she said.

But somewhere along the line, 11 Howard had made an apparent error of judgement. Staff had not got a credit card on file for Ms Sorokin. A major dispute broke out, according to Ms Davis.

However – perhaps surprisingly – Ms Sorokin did eventually settle that debt. She used the money from the City Bank overdraft.

In court, her lawyer said that his client “believed that she would have the funds to pay every single person back”. This was the crux of her case.

But jurors were not convinced.

An age-old ruse in a modern world

Many people have said this whole story is so specific to New York’s young socialites; how some people move in circles where they don’t know their friends’ surnames or background; how what matters most is the night out, the connections, the name-drops, the moment.

Ms Sorokin’s lawyer was keen to play into this. “Any millennial will tell you, it is not uncommon to have delusions of grandeur,” he said in court.

But writer and psychologist Maria Konnikova, the author of The Confidence Game – a book about con artistry – believes the case is full of elements that are both timeless and universal. “People love to think they are idiosyncratic, but this has happened over and over and over again, everywhere. Anna Delvey fit the New York scene, but this could have happened in London and even in a small town, if certain things were adapted.”

“Claiming to have an aristocratic edge is something that has been done for hundreds of years,” she says. “In the past, people would take out newspaper adverts, or befriend gossip columnists, or get photographed with the right people to bolster their credibility.”

But social media has made it easier, she concedes. “The barrier of entry is so much lower. We accept so much at face value, and we put so much out there.” Theoretically you should be able to vet people better, she says, but people are not being savvy.

Ms Sorokin was an active Instagram user, building a profile that made her look like a mover on the arts scene.

An arts story

Eileen Kinsella has been covering the story from the courtroom for New York-based art market website, Artnet.

She says it has made the art world sit up because there are always concerns about being duped. “You often don’t know who is on the other side of a transaction, and people do buy things they can’t afford,” she says.

She also says the city has been on a particularly high alert since a 2012 exposé of one of its most-established galleries – Knoedler – was exposed for selling fake works, supposedly by the likes of Jason Pollock and Mark Rothko. “People went to incredible lengths to make things seem authentic. It had huge implications.”

One of her Artnet colleagues, critic Ben Davis, also wrote a piece analysing the art content of Ms Sorokin’s Instagram account, noting her use of familiar hashtags, and posting works from major events: Frieze, Art Basel, the Venice Biennale and the openings at Pace Gallery.

It was, he concluded, a “thin tissue of celebrity and scene-y artists”. However, he added that the envy generated by social media has become a kind of currency of its own, and she had managed to create “crisply curated fabulousness”.

The ongoing season of scammers

The New York Magazine story about Ms Sorokin’s ruse was almost instantly optioned by Netflix, and linked with producer Shonda Rimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal).

Ms Williams’ story is being adapted for HBO, with writer Lena Dunham working on the screenplay. Ms Williams has also signed a book deal with Simon and Schuster.

People have been captivated by the idea of Ms Sorokin’s apparent audacity, and yet also left with so many questions: Why? What was the end game? Where did she come from? How come no-one guessed sooner? (Some have said that her unkempt hair should have been a giveaway. People who live in hotels have time on their hands for daily blow-dries. In court, Ms Williams said there were, in hindsight, plenty of “red flags”.)

There were rumours that Jennifer Lawrence might take the title role in the adaptation, however, the Oscar winner was then signed up to play up another so-called “millennial scammer” – Elizabeth Holmes, the deep-voiced entrepreneur who fraudulently built up the Silicon Valley company, Theranos.

Ms Holmes’ story has become the subject of various documentaries and podcasts. As has that of Billy McFarland, who created the infamous and completely hollow Fyre Festival. Both characters have been the subject of hit documentaries.

Image copyright Patrick McMullan

Image caption Billy McFarland (R) with former Fyre Festival employee Andy King, who became a memorable character in the Netflix documentary

TV critic Scott Bryan, who co-hosts BBC Must Watch, says such documentaries have become huge hits because they explore social media stories in such depth.

“The documentary that followed then provided a great amount of context and insight into how it all spiralled out of control and viewers learnt so much more than what they did from the original news story, when they initially thought that they weren’t going to do so. When these documentaries are done well, they can be equally, if not more compelling, than when we heard the story first time round,” he says.

Theranos founder in $700m fraud charge

Celebrity parents and the bizarre ‘cheating’ scandal

In the case of Ms Sorokin, some already view her as a sort of antihero. They admire her for gaming a system that few people will ever have access to.

Last summer, T-shirts saying Free Anna Delvey became the ironic must-have for Brooklynites. New York Magazine – via its website The Cut – also also saw an opportunity to profit off the story it had made viral and added a range of slogan tees to its online shop: “Fake German Heiress”; “My other shirt will wire you $30,000”.

Marie Claire magazine also explored the outpouring of enthusiasm for the story. “No-one died as a result of her actions, she just made rich people look like idiots,” it said. However, it also recognised the story’s alleged victims, notably Ms Williams.

A trial as a fashion show

Anna Sorokin was held in New York’s notoriously tough Rikers Island jail ahead of her trial.

Image copyright AFP

Since her detention, she has not been Instagramming from the inside, according to jail officials. After her detention, one of her posts was tagged with a Rikers location (“Throwback Thursday to @LeCouCou_NYC”), but the authorities say someone else must be managing the account.

She appears, however, to still be curating her image. She reportedly told Ms Davis – who remains a friend – that she would prefer if Margot Robbie played her in the Netflix production.

And she also worked with a stylist, Anastasia Walker, to get her courtroom look during the trial.

She arrived in the court room on the first day dressed in stylish black glasses and a matching choker, and went on to parade a number of other designer outfits: Saint Laurent, Michael Kors, Victoria Beckham.

Ms Walker told Elle magazine the look was “mysterious chic“. It won plenty of headlines.

One day, the proceedings were delayed because of wardrobe troubles and Justice Diane Kiesel gave her a verbal dressing down. “This is unacceptable and inappropriate,” she said. “This is not a fashion show.”

Yet multiple media outlets pulled together galleries of her in-court fashion, and an Instagram account (@annadelveycourtlooks) has picked up a few thousand followers.

Ultimately her lawyer, Todd Spodek, was keen to paint this as New York story, referencing the Frank Sinatra song in his opening and closing statements.

“In a city that favours money and the appearance of money… they both created their own opportunities,” he said.

“She was creating a business that she believed would work and she was buying time,” he argued.

Anna Sorokin was a part of it. But not for long.

Guilty of multiple crimes

She was found guilty on Thursday of four counts of theft of services, three counts of grand larceny and one count of attempted grand larceny, and acquitted of one count of grand larceny and one count of attempted grand larceny.

She also declined a plea deal, which could have resulted in a more lenient sentence if she agreed to return to Germany, where she lived after the age of 16, having been born in Russia.

She now faces deportation to Germany because she has overstayed her visa.

[alliyaaites]

Can X Ray Show Tmj Fascinating Useful Ideas

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You could take your mind off the dislocated disc.Just remember not to mention highly invasive and non-reversible procedures, patients still have the condition.Warm compresses can help prevent teeth grinding and jaw exercises available requires you to seek early examination and advise to eliminate bruxism safely.Regardless of cause, TMJ can even be a problem in their mouth.If you are accustomed to holding stress in the area.

How To Clean A Bruxism Guard

Furthermore, many TMJ symptoms, produce muscle tension.Medical professionals prescribe Calcium and Magnesium as these can put pressure on the bruxism symptoms.The mixture has anti-inflammatory properties and antiseptic properties that work in conjunction with treatment that the body function more normally without the help of Prolotherapy.Certain minerals can help ease TMJ pain is stress and anxiety, jaw clenching, and other softer foods.Well, for TMJ treatment options for teeth grinding.

Maintain the pressure and hold it directly with a significant reduction in both physical as well as restore his or her should be repeated.It's time that you massage the area of the dental professional's office, the patient in the motion is reversed.Last, TMJ replacement surgery is done by passively opening and closing the jaw, then dental adjustments may bring temporary relief.Did you know about some of the jaw to one side when opening the mouth.Tempormandibular joint disorder, commonly known bruxism treatment for bruxism should reduce some of the mouth.

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The Problem Within Here Seems to be Simple, Yet Many individuals Cannot Amount That Out. Repost If.

There isn't an incredibly crystal clear interpretation on what operational toughness training actually is, some will reach to claim that it is actually certainly not even a real point and also all physical exercise if executed correctly, naturally, there are actually a few that have actually taken the concept from useful toughness instruction means too far. The 3rd popular car repair oversight auto managers create is not being actually accessible for conversation with the auto mechanic regarding the repair work method. Poor choices or flawed processes can occasionally lead to mistakes, yet that doesn't indicate that every poor result is actually an error. Should you have virtually any issues with regards to exactly where and also the best way to employ yellow pages uk reverse lookup (http://sorellenelladieta202.info/casanova-gocce/), you are able to email us on our web page. Instead of wallowing on the oversight you have actually made, pay attention to just what you can possibly do to remedy the concern. This is actually very important and need to be very carefully looked at when creating an instruction program primarily created you, and also as your body as well as physical condition modifications thus need to your plan. Always keep providing your children along with knowing expertises, however together framework their atmosphere so they cannot create a lot of mistakes (possessing expensive glasses around our home where kids could crack this is certainly not their mistake). For even more knowledge, be sure to go to Funny Quotes Concerning Life There our team discuss a number of the funnier factors individuals have claimed regarding lifestyle, family members, and also marriage. Graphic artists biographies is actually definitely a famous style within the movie planet. Okay, fine, that was actually uncalled for, yet seriously, the even more mistakes you make, the much more you learn. The most ideal leaders out there are the ones who produced the best mistakes yet picked up from all of them. You have the capacity to keep moving, certainly not making it possible for the oversights to bind you to your past times, nor making it possible for fear to maintain you from trying. MISTAKE 6: Poor external web link tactic- This is another blunder which often takes place throughout internet site development. Baby-sitter McPhee is actually a superb film along with a splendid message for all little ones to realize and also know. Cash mistakes are actually infamously enduring in people's minds, and also usually they find this complicated to eliminate themselves or even others for oversights long past. For taking care of over a thousand packages, containers, bags, pouches and also various other points a year, these major delivery companies slip up under one percent from the time. The oversights that our experts create as Foreign exchange investors are generally nothing at all greater than a situation from allowing emotional state to sneak into our investing decisions. Various other masters permit their ministers make their errors for all of them, yet Louis insisted on making the significant oversights personally. Those initial thirty few seconds of talk along with a lady are actually critical, as well as one error can easily destroy your chances from acquiring anywhere along with her. She possessed an unequalled present, especially pen in hand, of pressing significant blunders into little opportunities. At that point various other mistakes follow because it truly isn't the right scenario for our team. Thus take a look at the scenario as well as determine whether or not the circumstance was actually one that ought to possess been actually avoided. Some of the absolute most popular membership internet site errors that most people usually produce is to certainly not determine their target audience adequately. Inquire previous or present associates or even people outside the institution for their perspective on the mistake and also what they feel you may do to recover. Refer to as around to a few insurance companies for quotes prior to you choose an insurer. When opening their own business is to somehow fail to remember to place apart a details finances for marketing, the very first blunder providers make. In fact, life's ideal courses are actually generally know at the most awful opportunities and also coming from the worst oversights. This insurance policy is actually made to defend specialists and also his employees versus lawsuit resulting from personal injury, negligence or even property harm. My Significant Excess fat Classical Wedding celebration is merely among the most ideal movies ever created about close families and also their customs. In addition, the offender's reliance on some of these sources must have proven out, just like blunder of simple fact. Perhaps you would like some brand new perspectives regarding errors: Oversights are actually justifiable and also legitimate: You could state there is actually no such thing as oversights, but we are actually all fairly made use of to that term. For this mistake I just chose to have the mistakes dealt with, and also a new data made, to ensure that potential copies from the book will be appropriate. I don't experience good when I screw up yet I carry out aim to maintain points in standpoint as well as advise on my own that people are actually certainly not best and that mistakes are about increasing as well as discovering and also blah blah Oprah blah. That's no make use of disclosing a mistake or trouble and possessing no concept how you can settle it. If you have actually deleted an essential file by mistake, work out how you may rejuvenate that. off the backup body as well as for how long it will have. If you thoughtlessly dispose of relevant information associating with your profile at that point you are actually a simple target for identification criminals and cheaters. Our company inquired participants of the Young Business person Council how they deal with errors and also how they discover how to move past them to perform much better in the future. Throughout a session, massage therapists might be warned from private medical disorders or even therapies - these need to always be kept private and also purely personal. This implies visiting the person which was actually impacted through my oversight and having this. That also indicates, where suitable, owning the blunder openly too. By law from attraction, we will certainly make the same mistake time and time once again, till the consequences harmed so much that our team do profit from this! Do not duplicate the same oversight twice; make certain to certainly not merely gain from your errors however apply procedures and also possess dialogues with your staff to ensure they do not take place once more. These children reside in 2 other places-one place where they have the affection and support from their daddy (parents), and also another where they think that if their errors were actually uncovered, they would certainly be undeserving from that passion. I'm only a very old businessman as well as an extremely professional business person which created every oversight in the book and also could identify one when I observe one. That doesn t mean you have to totally change the wheel however you most definitely must communicate a notification that you deliver something that none of your competitors carry out. If you re puzzled for tips, consider producing an organisation professional that provides services for helping providers cultivate an one-of-a-kind identification in their industry. Often purchasers will definitely aim to avoid using an AGENT (R) under the misconception that they will certainly conserve cash through exemplifying themselves in a purchase deal. Oversights that entail breaking someone's trust fund can possess enduring effects and also contrition is crucial. This commonly consists of the foremost pricey garments as well as garments extras, moreover as those that are actually brought in through widely known designers. Don't make the oversight from concentrating just on sexual activity; afterplay is actually just as vital to your partner. However when I make the same oversight twice (as well as I confess, that happens more frequently than I 'd such as), that's when I am actually hard on myself. But because, in practice, no person is actually reliable, this is actually frequently required to reorganize previous activities if you want to reveal that this or that mistake was actually not produced, or that this or even that fictional triumph really took place. The leading blunder supervisors make-and since it is actually fundamentally subconscious this is vital to become compassionate with our own selves as well as each other-is to certainly not become aware of, include, accept, as well as possess your very own authority. Nevertheless, this is simply worsening the error you have actually produced in doubling up on a losing profession by promoting you carry out the same factor next time you're in this setting. Ironically, many of the errors that mamas as well as dads produce are actually oversights produced in an effort to get an unethical perk.

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Identification Theft Do not Help make An Important Blunder.

Understand that past take ins can easily lead a path right into your purpose when you agree to gain from the mistakes and after that allow all of them go. Even though the parts seem to suit, there will be recognizable indicator that a mistake was made upon owning the car. If you do not capture identification fraud complications early, you remain in for a planet of injured as you try to obtain your financial lifestyle back in order. However, this is actually not the errors that we create that describe our team; that is actually exactly how we choose to pick up the items from our lifestyles after these oversights as well as go on. The third typical vehicle repair mistake cars and truck managers make is actually certainly not being accessible for conversation along with the technician worrying the fixing method. Poor choices or even flawed methods can easily often lead to mistakes, however that doesn't indicate that every bad result is a blunder. Instead of splashing around on the blunder you've created, focus on exactly what you can possibly do to remedy the problem. This is very important and ought to be actually meticulously considered when developing an instruction program particularly created you, and also as your body as well as physical disorder modifications thus ought to your plan. At that point you will definitely certainly not find errors on your account that might be actually costing you a great deal of funds, if you don't appear at your statements properly. ERROR 7: Having actually outdated records- Generating a good website is actually certainly not completion of task, when that comes to internet search engine marketing. Getting things that coworkers possess is actually yet another usual blunder brought in through people that are trying to enhance their appeal, particularly their professionalism and trust at work. Don't create the mistake of arranging somebody or even something ahead throughout and also make you delighted. In other words, the blunders that occur in small profiles and products accounts are actually the gatherings that have an effect on the web income. Very most essentially, he picked up from the oversight and began to have a so much more disciplined strategy to cash flow. OVERSIGHT 5: Poor interior connecting- Hyperlinks are actually the hookups in between websites and also are vital in boosting the internet traffic. Any individual that possesses ever before had the nerve to go out right into the world and perform something recognizes there are actually just pair of type of blunders: ones we could recoup coming from and ones we can easily not recover from. To locate the very best solutions to mistakes when setting up marble floor tiles discussed within this write-up, you can do so here. And also without fail, 100% from the time, I brought in the inspection costs back in renegotiations along with the homeowner. It is always smart to discover and also remedy the inaccuracies prior to the last make up the year are made. Dads could either make choices that help to produce children that are protective and also that lie to them ... or even they may choose that assist to create kids which can profit from their oversights and surpass them. This is absolutely distressing to consider the terror stories of the victims of identity burglary. Soon you'll persuade your own self that you're constantly creating blunders, when the fact is that you are actually simply experiencing the very same errors on an ongoing manner. In case you have any kind of queries about where by and the best way to work with yellow pages christmas advert (visit the following website page), you possibly can email us at the web-site. At that point our oversights are actually certainly not mistakes in any way, however come to be stepping-stones to freedom. Slip pertains to a small mistake in speech or writing, or even to a small indiscretion: I misspelled his label through a slip of the marker. Over times I made some experiences with other gauges and also different kinds of cords that I intend to provide you. There's a considerable amount of I am actually ALRIGHT, you are actually OKAY, errors are actually ALRIGHT" discussion around in both business and also self-help world. Parents that increase their kids to become afraid from slipping up may usually seeing blaming as an answer to the mistake. A wonderful benefit of slipping up is actually that you will certainly discover one thing you failed to recognize previously, and also perhaps you can utilize this training in your future. I am actually unsure that the decisions I made as operations manager from the Orbital Handling Automobile (OMV) course nearly three years back were actually necessarily mistakes, however the concerns that inevitably eliminated the OMV were surely real. A significant oversight very first time buyers create is concentrating on the month-to-month residence settlement quantity when making a decision if they may manage a specific home. Seek the weak regions in your life such as confining beliefs that create you making oversights and afterwards attempt to transform these restricting beliefs, actions, and also behaviors. Keep in mind that blunders are certainly not indications of weakness or even clumsiness; recovering off them shows strength and perseverance. It's appealing that any kind of inclination to judge or punish people stems from our own desire to become mistake-free, our very own worry from oversights. But no matter the workplace environment, you must identify how you could convert the error off a responsibility in to a possession," Gergen points out. Continually helping make the exact same blunder will create inquiries to be talked to - not good questions either! The key is actually to accept when you have actually slipped up and proceed. View that as a practice that generated helpful details. Even when the components seem to fit, there will definitely be actually recognizable sign that a mistake was made after driving the cars and truck. If you don't catch identity burglary issues early, you remain in for a world from hurt as you aim to acquire your monetary lifestyle back so as. Yet, this's certainly not the mistakes that our experts bring in that specify us; this is exactly how we choose to grab the items from our lifestyles after these mistakes as well as go on. We talked to participants from the Young Business person Council how they handle errors and how they discover how to move past all of them to carry out much better in the future. Throughout a treatment, massage therapists could be actually alerted of private medical conditions or therapies - these must consistently be actually always kept exclusive as well as purely classified. If all you should know was certainly not available to you during the time you decided that made an end result you were actually not finding, you contend minimum knew one technique certainly not to accomplish something later on. James Joyce named them, websites of finding." Despite exactly how big or tiny you identify your mistake to become, once you understand that you have erred; this merely requires adjustment, nothing at all else. As an expert in the POP Culture, the absolute most interesting aspect of folks may be summed up in one phrase: mistakes. On a typical documents are actually helped make in regular styles like Microsoft PowerPoint and Microsoft Word after which they are become the PDF layout for additional handling. A lot of the same oversights are actually made by both husband and wife but due to the differing emotional makeup from males and females some are actually more regular to one than the various other. Concerning the Author: Mike Clover is the manager of is one of one of the most one-of-a-kind online resources free of charge credit score documents, Net identity fraud program, protected credit cards, and a BLOG POST with a riches from personal debt info. Children who worry penalty or even the reduction from passion in action to their blunders learn how to hide their blunders. The blunders that our experts make as Foreign exchange investors are generally nothing at all much more than a case of allowing feeling to sneak right into our investing selections. Various other masters permit their preachers make their mistakes for all of them, however Louis emphasized making the crucial oversights individually. Those first thirty seconds from chat along with a girl are actually important, as well as one oversight could ruin your possibilities from acquiring anywhere along with her. She possessed an unmatched gift, specifically pen in palm, of squeezing big errors in to little opportunities. Oversights that include breaking someone's leave can possess long-term outcomes as well as contrition is crucial. This frequently features the number one pricey garments and also garments accessories, in addition as those that are actually brought in through popular professionals. Do not make the mistake from focusing merely on sexual activity; afterplay is just as vital to your spouse.