#but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but

[salsflore]

ummmm

[yxami]

Have you ever thought about a cute yandere prince? I recently started reading “I’m the queen in this life” on WEBTOON and the prince is just sooooo CUTE!

A cute prince that is the kingdoms pride and joy, he is playful and rebellious in his little ways. Really he just falls hard when cute reader treats him as a normal person! It’s so cute how you didn’t know he was the prince and even better that when you did find out you weren’t even fazed! Soon you became friends, though “friend” is what you deemed him. If it was up to him it would be “love of my life, my heart, my soul.” But he will wait till you realize you belong with him.

A lavish life full of only the best, but he never seemed to enjoy it. He didn’t feel alive. Until you came in and suddenly everything is so vibrant and colorful! The wind is fresher, the sun is more warm. The fruit taste sweeter and now he can sleep better. All his dreams are filled with YOU.

Sorry I rambled a bit but wanted to hear ur take on it!

I’ve seen a few things about a yandere sunshine prince! I love reading webtoons but I haven’t read that one before! Btw I love the rambling that people do in requests it’s okay, it helps me get more details on what you guys want.

description: yandere prince x reader, gender neutral reader, sunshine prince, yandere themes, obsession, older times

You intently looked at the list held in your hands. You were on a mission to go and fetch some ingredients for your supper. You skipped along until you bumped into a cloaked figure, his sweet voice quickly apologized for bumping into you.

You looked up and his bright eyes were nervous, as if he was going to get into trouble for bumping into you. He helped you grab your paper that flew out of your hands. The two of you panicked a bit as wind tried guiding it away before he did.

“Thanks! It’s my fault anyways, I should’ve been looking ahead” You smiled, glancing at his hood that seemed to purposely cover his face. You could still see his cute facial features and adorable eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve seen him before but you brushed it off as him looking like another person.

“Ah, no! It’s my fault. I was trying to look for a good place to eat but I was so distracted I didn’t look ahead” He hastily took the blame, his words seemed genuine. Sometimes other villagers wouldn’t say anything and just continued on when they bumped into you.

“I know some places, wanna come with me? There’s a shop down the street that I was heading to, they sell some delicious food, I can never get enough of it!” You happily offered your company to the stranger, he sounded nice after-all!

“Sure! I’ve been wanting to see what’s sold down here!” He followed you like a lost puppy all around town. You were fast but he made sure to catch up, even holding onto your shirt so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowds.

You thought he was a very nice fellow! He held some of your bags that carried food you bought, and made sure to listen to your rambles intently. When he rambled on about things he’s never tried you did the same.

“So you’ve never had this? It’s the most popular dish in this kingdom!” You were surprised that he’s never tried it before! The two of you found a nice spot to sit after shopping.

“Nope! I’ve tried all sorts of fancy dishes but I’ve never had one of these” His eyes lit up looking at all the floating vegetables and meat. It looked delicious! It looked better then the bland food he ate in his castle!

“Here try it!” You spoon fed him, making sure to put your hand under the spoon so you wouldn’t spill it on him. He chewed on a piece of meat that came along with the soup. It was heavenly! He chewed in pure bliss as you kept spoon feeding him.

He couldn’t believe someone was treating him normally, like a best friend! And the two of you only met a few hours ago. He liked you already! He hated being treated like a god by the maids and staff at his castle.

Even his parents irritated him with all the complaints to be wed soon or else he’d never find love. But he was still young, why would he have to be married so soon! That’s why he had been rebelling recently. Today marked the first time he’s ever snuck out of the castle grounds!

“Your face expression is so funny!” You couldn’t help but laugh at his cheeks that were full with food, even tinted red by the warmth of it too. His smile was so big even more when he realized you were staring at him.

“It’s so good! I’ve never had something like this before” His giggles sounding like a beautiful song you’ve never heard before. Everything about him was elegant and adorable.

“Here, try some of the fruit that I got too!” You offered, putting it in front of him. He quickly dined in on that as well after swallowing the food in his mouth.

This became routine for the two of you to hang out everyday. The once diligent prince would sneak out of his room and head towards the village, immediately knowing where to go now that you’ve shown him around. He made a beeline towards your house, excited at the new bright day to hang out.

Nobody even predicted him to be such a rule breaker! Everyone believed he was a sweet prince that could do no wrong! He was doing all of this for you, for your friendship that he longed to turn into something more.

“Hey! It’s pretty early, normally you come during the afternoon, what gives?” You casually spoke to the regular visitor that opened your door and pulled his hood down. He always made sure to keep it on, except for when he was in your house.

He showed you what he looked like on the second day of hanging out, yet you still didn’t recognize him! He was so ecstatic that you didn’t; he’d become a frowning puddle of sadness if you ever started treating him differently because of his title.

“Missed you! What are you gonna do today?” He watched you intently while you chopped up some vegetables. It was for tonight’s meal, you just decided to cut them earlier before storing them away.

“Nothing really, I was planning to go fishing. I heard the fish are real lively around this season” You collected up all the vegetables and put them in a mason jar, storing them away in the rightful place.

“Fishing? I’ve seen the fishermen at my castle prep it for the chefs! I’ve never done it myself though” He found it intriguing that you did everything on your own to feed yourself. He was learning new things about you everyday.

Your eyebrow quirked in confusion, what did he mean castle? He had never mentioned anything of his royalty before so this castle talk was new to you. You assumed maybe he was a dutiful butler but that wouldn’t make sense on why he said my castle

“Your castle? What do you mean?” You dusted your hands off on your clothing, unable to stop scanning his eyes that looked panicked.

“Uhm… well” He paused and tried to think of an excuse. Should he just spill it? You wouldn’t care right? He just hoped you wouldn’t treat him any differently than before.

“So.. I’m the prince?” He said it more as a question rather than a serious statement. He couldn’t help but be nervous!

“You’re the prince..?” You titled your head, not fully understanding. Did he mean the prince of this land? The one you have yet to see other then in dusty newspapers? The royals were hardly ever seen in the village after all.

The now revealed prince nodded his head, wondering if you were going to tell anyone. Would you betray him? Or would you be a kind friend and still hangout with him!

“That’s cool, I never thought you were royalty! Well I did always think you were very pretty, sort of like royalty” You casually stated. Yeah, it was a big thing that he was a prince but he was normal just like any other villager, why treat him differently?

“You think I’m pretty…? Anyways!! Thank you for being normal about it, I was scared you were going to freak out!” He was flustered at your comment but brushed it off as best as he could. Which was a slight nervous smile with blush on his face.

“I wouldn’t freak out, you’re still my friend. You act like everyone else so why would I treat you differently?” You smiled, something that comforted him immensely. He hugged you, happy that you didn’t care that he was.

“This must be important to you huh?” You giggled hugging him back, he nodded, choosing not to speak and just enjoy the warm embrace that he initiated.

This is likely why he was so lovesick every-time he had to head back to his castle. He kept ignoring the questions his maids asked. Questions that asked why he was out all the time and where he was. He locked himself in his room, groaning into a pillow now that he couldn’t hear your beautiful voice.

He loved when you laughed, it made him happy. Happy that you enjoyed his presence. He knew you thought of him a friend, nothing more. But this prince was obsessed with you.

He needed to be something more, his heart wouldn’t be able to take being your forever friend! He wanted to be wed to you, to let you relish in all his riches that he never cared for. He’d treat you like the richest pearl on earth that deserved the best treatment.

The prince just wanted you to fall for him, he already fell for you! He couldn’t have a full nights rest if he wasn’t dreaming of you. The dreams were filled with you finally accepting his courting. Some would tell the story of how you fell in love with him.

He was ecstatic after a good dream, finding his breakfast more delicious then ever before, the sun was refreshing, even his parents nagging could not bother him! Everything was so much better when his thoughts were full of you.

Perhaps it was obsession, or maybe his heart clinging onto someone who didn’t just want him for his parent’s kingdom. Whatever it was, he didn’t care. He trusted his heart, and his heart guided him to you, nobody else, just you. You deserved only the best! And he could give you all of that.

The prince was yet again, sneaking out to go visit you, swiftly making his way down as usual. He wondered if he would ever get caught, highly unlikely! He knocked on your door, facing your sleepy demeanor after a few moments.

“It’s so early..” You yawned letting him in, unable to hide the fact the you had just woken up.

“Never early enough to visit you!” He hugged you, closing the door before he did.

“Mhm, I didn’t have anything planned today, just lounging around..” You went to go lay down in your bed. You should’ve likely offered to go hangout somewhere but you were too close to sleeping to do that.

“That’s okay! Would you like to rest more while I find something to cook? I’ve never cooked any of my meals but I think I’ll be able to do it!” He smiled as if he didn’t have low chances that he was going to whip something delicious up.

“Just.. sleep and when I get up I’ll make us breakfast” You yawned, going under the comforting sheets of your bed that you were under not too long ago.

“Where should I sleep!” His active and awake behavior warned that he likely wouldn’t be sleeping if you did.

“Here, c’mere” You slightly tugged on his shirt, guiding him next to you. This was the only way you could prevent him from messing your kitchen up. He tried to act like this wasn’t making his heart beat at an unusual rate. He felt like it was going to jump out of his chest.

“Ok-okay!” He slipped into your bed with you, awkwardly laying there before you wrapped your arounds him, bringing his warmth close to yours. You mumbled nonsense before dozing off.

Now he was trapped.. in your bed!! He tried containing his excitement, your arms were wrapped around him! And you had your head on top of his. He was close to your chest, facing your collarbone and neck. All he could smell was you.

He was unable to fight away sleep when he found comfort in you being so close to him. He snuggled up to your chest, greedily taking in your scent. It was a long lasting embrace, one that made him pass out after his heart cooled off.

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Unexpected Company

whumptober23 day 30- borrowed clothing fandom- dp x dc TW- none summary- Dick meets Danny

ao3 whumptober23 masterlist part 8 of DLM

Jason stared at where Danny had been, as he heard one of his brothers, probably Dick climb in through the window.

“Jason! Are you okay?” Dick came over and started looking over the places he’d been hit, hands fluttering over Jason like he wanted to perform a physical examination.

“I’m fine, Dick. The kid got me out” he heard someone shuffle off to the side, but avoided looking in that direction. He pushed himself to a seating position, his torso only protesting slightly. Guess his wounds weren’t one-hundred percent healed.

“The kid?” Dick looked around. “Where is he? And who were those agents?”

“Those agents are called the GIW, or ghost investigation ward.” Jason said he avoided looking at where he thought the kid was. If he could prove Nightwing could be trusted with the knowledge that Jason was part ghost, then the kid would be more comfortable showing himself. He just hoped Dick responded right.

“Ghosts?” Dick said a bit skeptical, but not outright denying the possibility. They had seen some pretty strange stuff because of their vigilante careers.

Jason nodded. “According to them, I’m part ghost.” “But,” Dick said, looking a bit sad now, “you’re alive.”

Jason nodded and shoved down all his worry and intrusive thoughts. This was for the kid. “I am, but science I died, I’m still dead adjacent, and that’s enough for the GIW to hunt down. But they also,"Jason said to make sure he was perfectly clear, “hunt down full ghosts, which are actually real.”

Dick paused. “The kid told you this?” He didn’t say it skeptically, but with genuine curiosity.

“Yeah, and I believe him.”

Dick nodded. “Okay. Ghosts aren't that far fetched considering aliens and demons are also a thing. Where is the kid?”

Jason tilts his head and waits, Dick looks confused for a moment but then Danny, still with glowy hair and eyes, appears beside the couch. He’s fidgeting and biting his lip while avoiding eye contact. But Jason counts it as a win that Danny showed himself.

Dick, for his part, only startles a little bit, but then he smiles. “Hello kid, I’m Nightwing.”

Danny glances at Jason before turning back to Dick, “I’m Danny.”

“Nice to meet you.Thank you for saving my brother, he tends to get into a lot of trouble.” “Hey!” 

Danny smirked, “I can see that.”

Fine. Jason would be willing to withstand some teasing if it made Danny smile.

“And are you okay?” dick continued. “These GIW agents didn’t shoot you?”

Danny shook his head, “Nah, but I should probably head out. That’s what I was doing when I saw they’d found Jason.”

Dick tried to hide his concern, but Jason knew him well enough to see it. “Where are you heading off to? You got a place to stay?”

Danny fidgeted. “Not really. But you don’t need to worry. I can take care of myself. I’ll be fine.”

Jason felt his emotions go out to the kid. No kid should be on their own, it shouldn’t be their responsibility to take care of themselves. He’d protect this kid, make sure to keep him safe, no matter what.

Danny gave him a strange look and Jason felt exposed. He shifted on the couch and cleared his throat. “You can stay here, Danny. We can have people watch for any more agents and lock up any who try to get into Gotham.”

“You don’t–”

“Nope. I may not need to, but I want to. Consider it, thanks for saving me.” Jason said, staring at Danny and trying to convey his honesty.

“Great,” Dick said, moving towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you some tea, Jason. Do you want some Danny?”

“No thanks.”

“You better not burn my apartment down.” Jason called after him.

“I know how to use a microwave.”

“That’s debatable.” Jason muttered.

He noticed Danny staring at him, and turned toward the kid.

“Do you really trust him?”

Jason pushed down the Pit, whispering to him that Dick never cared, and answered the question with the answer that he believed on good days “Yes, I do.”

Danny stared at him for a moment, and then turned to stare off toward the kitchen. 

Jason could swear his eyes glowed brighter. It reminded him of the Pit, and he had to push down those thoughts and remember that Danny had explained that the Pit was probably just contaminated ectoplasm. 

Then Danny nodded, and a ring appeared around his waist, before splitting and traveling up and down him. After the light show had faded, Jason was left staring at the version of Danny he had met.

“Wow, you’ve got your own magic girl transformation scene.”

Danny blushed, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I guess.”

Dick chose that moment to come in. He froze for a second staring at Danny as the kid fidgeted, before Dick smiled and handed Jason the tea he had made. Jason took a sip, it was drinkable.

“So, Jason, I guess you're the one who ended up inheriting the adoption gene?”

Jason nearly spit out the tea he had just taken a drink of. He glanced over at Danny. The kid looked confused but also slightly amused.

When Jason could finally breathe again, he ignored his brother and turned toward Danny. 

“Since you’ll at least be staying the night, which you are, you probably want to take a shower. Dick can get you some clothes you can borrow, while I work on making us some food.”

Danny glanced at the window once more before nodding.

“Great. Dick if you’ll show him the bathroom, I’ll get started on some stew.”

Jason carefully made his way to the kitchen, being careful of his still aching torso. He didn’t know how deep Danny’s healing had gone, and wanted to make sure he didn’t aggravate any internal bruising. 

Jason herald the shower turn on, and a moment later Dick stepped into teh kitchen.

They were silent for a moment before Dick spoke up.

“Does he know you’re identity?”

“Just my first name.”

Another moment of silence. “So,he’s also a ghost adjacent?”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to ask him for specifics.” Jason said as he started pulling out ingredients. 

“Of course.” Dick leaned against the counter as Jason began tossing ingredients in the pot. 

Dick shifted and Jason glanced over. “I know,” Dick started, speaking softly, “you may be more comfortable in your apartment, but the manor will be easier to protect, especially with those agents after you both.”

Jason tenses and fights down the immediate instinct to argue. What Dick is saying is true. They don’t really know who these GIW agents are, and if they’re also targeting Jason then it would be best to have more people around to help protect the kid.

He sighed, “We’ll stay here for tonight, and I’ll talk with him in the morning.”

“That’s all I ask, Jaybird.” Dick said and ruffled Jason’s hair.

The only reason Jason didn't shove him off was because he was in the middle of stirring his stew and didn’t want the ingredients to stick to the pan, or at least that's what he told himself.

[cdyssey]

Yellowjackets 2.06 Reactions:

TW: Cannibalism; Traumatic Birth Experiences

Coach Ben teaching Health Ed class!! This man has suffered through so much.

TAIVAN WITH THEIR DESKS SHOVED TOGETHER!! Lolololol, at Misty being the only one who is paying attention and Ben clearly not caring that no one is paying attention.

“Poppies, Jeff. Jackie likes poppies.” She says this to get people to stop whispering about them, but God, I love the intimacy of this line too—the way that Shauna knows Jackie’s favorite flower.

THIS BLUR SONG. WOW, WOW, WOW.

Lmao at Misty emptying all her pockets.

Lottie’s shocked expression when she clocks that it’s Misty for the first time. The almost immediate steeliness, the barely controlled rage. The height difference between Simone and Christina is so fucking funny. Misty is a tiny little bean.

“And I won’t call the IRS about what I assume is your routine tax evasion.” AKQKWNWKSN

Lottie gets a visible headache and asks Misty to stay a while; she possibly had a vision?

“She is the one who decided to act out by dating a cop.” SO FOUL, SHAUNA SNSNDNWNWJDNS.

“It honestly would’ve been better if you just had sex with him.” FOUL FOUL FOUL.

Baby girl is so fucked up!!! Callie and Jeff’s horrified expressions when they hear this shows us that they’re registering this, how off kilter Shauna is.

The girls desperately scrambling to figure out what they should do to help Shauna, and it’s moments like these when you remember that they’re children, and it’s awful.

Tai being right at Shauna’s head, holding her shoulders, wiping off her head, encouraging her. They make me so fucking tender.

Misty has entirely shut down.

“WILDERNESS, I HOPE SHAUNA DOESN’T DIE.” MARI WOQKOQJEWJWJRJNWJEJWNWNENWJS. YOU KEEP DIGGING YOURSELF INTO THAT PIT, GIRL. I LOVE YOU.

Tai holding Shauna’s face reassuring her over and over again that she’s not going to die.

Nat being a fail girl at rifle practice.

“I’m poison. I ruin people.” God, my heart aches for her. She genuinely believes this.

“I killed my best friend… the only person that I loved.” FUCK. 😭

Natalie and Lisa’s relationship is so, so good. The vulnerability between them, the care.

“… we did so much fucked up shit out there. And yeah, maybe it was to survive. Maybe. But I don’t think we deserved to.” GOD GOD GOD. Two things haunt me about this particular line. That second maybe—we’ve known from the start that they did things out there that weren’t solely about survival. Pit Girl. Her ritualistic consumption. But also the fact that this is the condemnation that Nat hangs on them all. None of them should have made it out of the woods alive, and maybe, just maybe, that would have been penance for what they had done.

Tai looks like a peak lesbian in Van’s clothes. <3

Van reminding Tai of her FAMILY, and Tai is just like, lmao, fuck them. It’s you and me, baby.

She is so awful. <33

“You’re married, Taissa. There’s no us anymore.” God.

Tai sees all the overdue bills in the trash can; Van is struggling.

Misty is utterly broken about Kristen. It’s easy for us to say she’s the “well-adjusted” one between all the adults because she’s been able to compartmentalize so well; she’s out there girlbossing and murdering!! But she’s just as fucked up, just as traumatized, even if she invited so much of that trauma on herself: breaking the transmission box, telling Kristen, inadvertently killing that innocent girl.

Nat appealing to Ben, the adult, Ben, the health ed teacher, for guidance, BUT HE IS A FAILURE TOO. “I just pressed play on a video.” AMQKQKKEWKKDOWKSSK

“Women have been having babies for millions of years.” 😭 Nat, I fucking love you. These girls care for each other so fucking much.

GETTING COMFORT FROM HER POCKET MOUSE. AKILAH, I LOVE YOU AMQMQDNJWNS.

Not the cult performing blood offerings in the corner. My God QNKQKQMWNRKWKWMWMWKWJREK.

POV: Ur having a baby in the woods and all the goth kids are being weird about it.

God, Lottie needs to fucking get a new psychiatrist. This lady is the worst.

Simone is such a fucking good actor.

“We did… terrible things in Its name. And I thought when we were rescued, that we left It there, but now I realize… we brought it back with us.” The subtitles are really lending an emphasis to It now. God, I need a side-by-side of all the ladies talking about the terrible things they did in the forest: Shauna talking to Callie, Natalie and Lisa, and now Lottie and the psychiatrist. The horror on all of their faces when they admit this truth aloud; for all of them, it’s almost too much to bear.

“I mean, if you’re done crying, I could tell you some stories.” QKQKKWOWJEJDJ

Ben, ur such a failure. Ily.

The antlers behind Ben in the flashback…

THE PLACENTA FUCKING COMING FIRST. AND THE VIDEO. AND TAI REMEMBERING IT’S SUPPOSED TO COME AFTERWARDS. I’M FUCKED UP.

Crystal and Misty were gonna sing a song at Shauna’s labor. Lmfao.

“You can save our baby.” LOTTIE WTF

“You’re so close to being on the other side.” The double entendre is absolutely there. Shauna is so fucking close to death.

Taissa crying because she cares so much for Shauna and she already knows, from that placenta coming first, this fucking isn’t going to end well.

“Aren’t you probably the last person who should be giving me legal advice right now?” AQQKEMFMEMS, drag her ass, Callie. (Callie and Shauna both wearing that forest green because they are so alike.)

I fucking hate Matt the Cop. Smug fucking bastard!!

Tai fucking with Van about the sorting. 😭 I love them so much.

“No, Tai. You came here for help with your life. If I need help with mine, I’ll let you know.” TELL HER, VAN. One thing I’ve really enjoyed about both Taissa storylines is that they’ve consistently portrayed her as someone who can be judgmental and hypocritical. It’s such a good character flaw for her.

Tai’s entire tone changing when she hears that it’s Lottie.

“It’s a bunch of granola losers, but the food is great, and the BO factor is surprisingly low.” QKQKFNWKOWKEQPJEN

All of these children are crying, and I’m so fucking upset. I care about all of them so goddamn much. Nat and Tai and Misty being right there for her means so much for me. That’s my core four.

Shauna is dying right in front of them.

THE SUBTITLES SAY MISTY, BUT THAT WAS JACKIE FUCKING TAYLOR’S VOICE.

The entire scene is lit differently. The baby is too big and healthy. The placenta came first. The crying is repetitive. This is a goddamn dream.

“… but no, I’d rather keep the past in the past.” / “Van, you run a video store. […] You practically live in the past.” POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK, MA’AM. YOU WERE RECENTLY CAUGHT SACRIFICING YOUR DOG IN THE BASEMENT!! YOU CHASED AFTER YOUR EX AND GAVE HER A BOOBY PEN!!!!!!

Taissa is so judgy, lmfao. Never change, girl failure.

“Don’t fuckin’ judge me because I know you’re too evolved for online dating.” GET HER!! Lauren has inhabited Van so well. Like, sometimes I can hear Liv in her delivery of lines.

“But don’t flatter yourself. It’s not because of you.” Vanlottietai triangle in the wilderness when

Natalie, ma’am, I know you have, like, seven different infections from wearing those pants for so long. SEVEN.

Lisa giving Natalie the Fourteenth Gilly, so she’s responsible for something other than herself. 😭 Sobs.

If anything fucking happens to Lisa, I will lose my shit. I love her so much.

Shauna not being able to feed the baby. I’m so fucked up. The other girls can see that starvation awaits.

JEFF PLAYING “FUCK THE POLICE” WITH THE WINDOW DOWN OUTSIDE THE POLICE STATION. I LOVE THIS MAN. HE IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING HIMBO. ALQWKQODJKWKW

QKQOOWWKMWKDNSNS, JEFF SAYING IT TAKES A WHILE FOR SHAUNA TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. THE LOOKS TAI AND VAN GIVE EACH OTHER. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN

He is such a weirdo.

Misty talking about Nat with such love and affection. Girlfriends. <33

“We’re all like this. Aren’t we?” Nat looking at Misty for the first time with sympathy in her eyes. She fundamentally sees that Misty is fucked up too.

I’m fucking crying at this baby starving.

“Your kid doesn’t like you too much, does she?” RIGHT ON THE HEELS OF THAT LAST SCENE. THAT’S SHAUNA’S GREATEST FEAR, HER CONTINUALLY BLEEDING WOUND.

Melanie Lynskey is so fucking pretty.

“You really did a number on her.” God, God, God, God. Shauna and Callie really eff me up. They were doomed from the start, from the moment that Shauna nearly died from having that first baby in the woods.

“And you do not have to be like your mom.” It’s too late, Kevyn. She already is.

“I never even wanted to be a mom. In fact… I did not sta… start out a bad person, but in case you haven’t noticed, life doesn’t tend to turn out the way you think it will. You have a kid that you… you don’t want… to save a marriage that you got into out of… guilt and-and shame. And, and you just… you can’t really let yourself love either of them. But, of course, you do. You-you love them despite yourself. You’re just incredibly bad at it.” I HAVE LITERAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE. MELANIE GODDAMN LYNSKEY.

This isn’t Shauna lying. We know that Shauna is a piss poor fucking liar. This is the truth from the bottom of her goddamn heart. She didn’t want Callie. She had her to save a marriage that she only got into because she felt so guilty—about the woods, about Jackie, about what she and Jeff and all the girls did to her. But she loves them. She loves her husband. She loves her daughter. And she knows that she hasn’t done them their due. And this has also been a truth from the beginning. Shauna absolutely loathes herself. She self-destructs partially as a punishment that she thinks fits her endless crime.

The music shifts when she does start lying. What came before it was sincere.

“But leave my kid out of it.” SHE LOVES CALLIE.

I fucking hate this cop!!!

CALLIE SINGLE-HANDEDLY SAVING THIS ENTIRE INVESTIGATION WOQKQKWOQOKWIDJDJEJEJEJEJEJEIEKEMDJD. I FUCKING LOVE HER.

“Especially when they ask me to describe his weird ass balls.” WKQKWOQOOWIWJEJDIEJENWKIRIRIFKDKWKDIDIFIEIWKDJDJWJKSJE.

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HATE CALLIE SADECKI.

Lottie feeding the baby. ☠️

JEFF SPITTING HIS DRINK OUT EVERYWHERE DJWJDNDN.

Shauna’s voice break when she says “Yes” about the gun. She’s unraveling and unraveling.

“I am really worried about you. You are, like, out of control, Shauna.” / “Yeah, you think?!” And she actually cries in front of Jeff.

Jeff’s like, “Go, honey. Have a well-deserved mental health vacation with your wilderness cannibal girlfriends. 🥰” He didn’t say that, but I’m paraphrasing.

Callie and Shauna had a plan all along. :/ But Shauna screwed it up. Both of the Sadecki parents trying to reassure their daughter.

NAT TRYING TO, UM, SPARE THE FISH FROM THE COLD CRUELTIES OF THIS WORLD. GOD????

“It’s all a goddamn prison anyway.”

GOOD. THE FOURTEENTH GILLY LIVES.

I’m no fish expert, but um, is that bowl just a wee bit too small?

Shauna talking so tenderly to this baby. This episode is not going to fucking end well.

Shauna saying that she wants the moment for herself, and that’s such a core part of her ethos. This (dream) baby is hers and hers alone, someone she doesn’t have to share, someone that no one can try to control, even though they might try.

LMAO, AT SHAUNA GETTING THERE SO FAST. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN SPEEDING.

Nat has finally changed out of those goddamn leather pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Shauna and Nat hug. Oh, God, yeah, yeah, yeah. Natalie was there for Shauna during one of her darkest times, and now they’re both in ruts again. There’s so much solemnity in the gesture, so much pain.

Taimisty joy hug. 😭

VANLOTTIE HOMOEROTIC CRY STARING!!!

THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tea was drugged. 😭 Shauna calling out for Tai and Van.

FUCKING EATING IT. I KNOW IT’S A DREAM. I KNOW. I KNOW, BUT GOD

AND THEN SHE FUCKING WAKES UP, AND THEY’RE ALL CRYING.

“We thought we lost you.” Tai holding her face. I’m fucking unwell.

I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS. I CAN’T

SOPHIE FUCKING NÉLISSE.

“Don’t you hear him crying? Why can’t you hear him cry?”

Taissa holding Shauna and that dead baby, blood on her hands.

“Why can’t you hear him?”

This is the most upsetting goddamn television I’ve ever fucking seen in my life.

“The infants lungs will fill with air, signaled by a cry.” And at the end, it’s this line from the video documentary that comes back to haunt us all.

[just-some-guy-at-shiz]

Okay, so here’s a scene: Nessa’s just gained power and started restricting rights, and Boq is bitter. There’s a bit where she keeps asking him to fetch her things out of this one particular cabinet, until eventually he gets fed up. Cue the sounds of furious hammering from another room. Nessa rolls in to see Boq standing hands-on-hips beside the cabinet, which has been ripped off the wall and sloppily nailed on farther down the wall, within Nessa’s reach. It is lopsided. One corner sticks out farther than the others, another corner is cracked, and bent nails stick out everywhere. There are patches of wallpaper missing where the cabinet used to be. This is purely an act of spite. But Nessa is thrilled, because now she can do this one thing without him.

Boq is genuinely puzzled that she’s thrilled. He kind of assumed she liked people to do things for her, because who wouldn’t, right? Didn’t really occur to see it from her point of view, because he’s too self-absorbed and oblivious for that. He figured she just had mean fun running him around on tasks 24/7. But he starts to realize that she really would rather be self-sufficient if she could, and he realizes how much the world she lives in is not disability-friendly.

Yes she’s the governor, so she definitely has the power to change things, but it doesn’t occur to her to do that, because there have never been accomodations that weren’t made special for her. She needs to be helped by Elphaba while at school because there are literally no ramps on the entire campus. Just stairs. Oz doesn’t seem to have any kind of accessibility standards for any of its institutions. Nessa doesn’t try to adjust everyday aspects of her life to fit her better because she never realized that was an option, because no one ever treated it as one. For her entire life, everyone just assumed she couldn’t do things for herself. So she believed that about herself as well.

But Boq doesn’t believe it. …Because he wants her to stop needing him. He’s very annoyed that he’s stuck with her, because in his eyes it would be very easy for her to be without him. Until the cabinet thing where he sees her excitement and realizes that it’s really not easy. So it becomes his one goal in life to fix everything standing in the way of Nessa being self-sufficient.

Out of spite.

Why is Nessa’s (one-story) home the only building with ramps on the porch stairs? You’re the governor! Put ramps on every building, so you can go to all your meetings and stuff without me! You’re already tyrannical, so outlaw stairs altogether! Ramps or bust!

Also, it’s home renovation time! Everything moved within reach (because it all really should have been anyway, but when Nessa’s father was alive he and Elphaba would have probably have gotten everything for Nessa, and she’d just be resigned to her own inability). Add other home-renovation lifehacks for wheelchair users that I don’t know about because I don’t need them and it’s too 12:22 AM for me to bother looking them up!

And Oz has somekinda steampunk technology, right? Too many gears on the set pieces for there not to be, nevermind the dragon. What if we could put a motor on their chair? What if there could be useful harnesses for times she needs to be out of the chair? What if there were those chair-lifty-seat-things on the side of tall staircases?

Anyway. My point is, Boq starts making more small changes, hoping it’ll make some difference. Nessa worries when he’s gone all day, but he comes back exhausted from working on a rough, bumpy dirt path that was impossible to roll over, chopping up logs to cover the path in smooth wooden planks. He re-positions more shelves and cabinets, more neatly this time. He does a few other domestic things that I can’t think of off the top of my head. All out of selfish desperation, mind you, but with each of these changes, Nessa’s mood lifts, and she demands less of Boq, which makes him less moody, and they start to actually get along. And now that they’re communicating, they work together on this accessibility improvements stuff, because who knows better what Nessa needs than Nessa? Now that she’s seen how much of a difference can be made, she’s taking charge of it all for herself, because she can.

Nessa stops being bitter about what she still can’t do for herself, because now there’s so many more things she can. Boq stops being bitter about his whole situation, because Nessa’s starting to ease up on the whole tyrant thing, and it’s sorta endearing how excited she gets. Now that she spends less time gloomy and solemn (or short-tempered), he can see the way her eyes light up when she’s happy, and she smiles just as sweetly as that night at the ballroom…

The huge problem I can’t get past is that he still doesn’t love her. Because Boq is seemingly the only person who doesn’t think she’s helpless because she’s in a wheelchair, who believes in her self-sufficiency, Nessa loves him even more than she did before. And now that he’s growing to be on friendlier terms with her, Nessa would be even more convinced Boq loves her back, when really, he just doesn’t like-like her and that’s that. This might all be for naught. She might still get heartbroken and magic-spell him. But… What if walking, amazing as it would be, wouldn’t “change everything”? What if she already feels mostly self-sufficient? What if she’s no longer bitter about being dependent? Would that change anything?

I expanded this too far. The only important thing is the scene where Boq rips a cabinet off the wall and practically just duct-tapes it on again lower down, and then gets baffled that it apparently wasn’t recieved as an act of rebellion.

[transmascnaotoshirogane]

splitting, barely fitting; sew up your skull, take your time, and we’ll be just fine

hiii sorry we kinda dropped this fic for a month by accident sobsob we do love writing this we just set impossible standards title is from Meteor Shower by Cavetown!

relationships; vio + erune, vio + blue, vio + green + zelda

ao3 link; x

“So…you’re alive, that’s a good thing.”Erune forced an awkward smile, stirring her tea with a spoon as Vio scoffed. “Thanks, Erune, I didn’t know that I was alive.”Vio mumbled, then sighed. “I’m sorry, that was rude. It’s just that…well, that’s the first thing anyone has been saying to me for the past month” “That’s okay. It must get frustrating, right?”She smiled a more genuine, friendly smile this time. Vio simply nodded, sipping their own tea. “Thank you for having me over.” “I didn’t want to assume that your dislike of public spaces had changed at all, so…I’d assumed you’d like it more if we just hung out here.” “You are…the first person to take that into consideration. I know the others mean well, but…I don’t think I’m ready for being in public right now. I mean, I don’t even have a hand right now. People are gonna ask.” “I…would ask, but it’s probably a touchy subject.” “I would tell you, but your mother is in the other room and I don’t need another person doing a welfare check on me.”Vio deadpanned, waving Erune’s concern off. “I’ll tell you someday.” “You don’t have to ever tell me if you don’t want to. I am, however, going to ask about that hair. It looks like you haven’t cut it in a while.” “Surprisingly, I have terrible coordination so haven’t been able to. It’s fine, though.” “I could cut it for you.”Erune offered, looking at the other. Vio fell quiet, considering it. Part of them is begging to let her cut it, but… Shadow liked them having longer hair. It’d started growing during their time in the fire temple, and Shadow had loved putting little braids in it if Vio wouldn’t sleep. “You should grow it out,”Shadow had muttered to Vio one night. “Mh, yeah?” “Yeah. You’d look nice with long hair. I could braid it for you, too.” “You’re shockingly good at braids.”Vio stated bluntly, causing Shadow to nod in agreement. “I know! It’s literally something I didn’t even know I could do before.” Vio hummed, and they’d thought about it. “Okay. I’ll grow it out long enough for you to put a longer, full braid in my hair.” And Shadow had smiled—no, he’d beamed at them upon hearing Vio say those words. They thought about that a lot. If Shadow were still here, Vio would probably have a braid in their hair all the time. Shadow loved doing it. Maybe it was because it was something to do, maybe it was his way of showing appreciation, Vio isn’t sure. But Vio does know that it was nice. It was nice to see Shadow so relaxed and calm. He was always gentle, too, never tugging too hard on Vio’s hair even when their hair had knots in it. “Uh—I’ll…keep that offer in mind. I think I’ll just keep it like this for now..” “Okay, whatever makes you happy.”She whistled. “So, how’ve you been adjusting to being back?” “It’s…way more difficult than it seems. I haven’t been around anyone for so long..now Red barely wants to leave my side, and if she isn’t there she gets Blue to stay with me. I love ‘em, really, they’re my friends. But..I like being alone, y’know?” “I get that.”She nodded softly. “Being alone can be nice sometimes.” “I’ve been alone for so long. You’d think I’d hate being alone now.” “Solitude can be nice.” “I know that.”Vio smiled. “I was alone for months…until Green showed up, of course.” “...would you have come back if you weren’t found?” Vio paused, thinking about it for a minute. “No. I wouldn’t have. Didn’t have a rhyme or reason to.” “How come?” “I didn’t miss anyone when I was away,”Vio admitted. “I was too…caught up on the ideal of being alone to really miss anyone. I believed I was better off alone…I still think I’m right.” “What makes you feel like that?”She frowned, concern filling her eyes, and Vio wished they’d kept their mouth shut. “Vio, what makes you think you’re better off alone? Nobody deserves to be alone.” “I do.”Vio hummed out with the confidence of the entire army. “I deserve to be alone. I wasn’t really alone anyways.” “Huh?” “I had my thoughts. And who can really be alone if you have those?” “Vio..”Erune frowned, gently holding Vio’s hand. “That isn’t healthy. None of this is.” “Rune. If you’re gonna give me the same lecture everyone else has, I’m just…going.” “Maybe you should listen.”Erune sighed, watching as Vio got up. “It was nice seeing you.”Was all they said before walking out. Vio walked down the path, staring at the ground. They didn’t…mean to be rude to Erune, but— But she’s wrong! Everyone’s wrong! Vio deserves a helluva lot worse than just ‘being alone’—hell, they deserve death. But Vio hasn’t said that, Vio won’t say that. They can’t stand the others incessantly worrying about them. It’s so…it’s so infuriating! Vio doesn’t need pity. Vio wants to be alone. If Vio’d wanted to come back, they would have! But they didn’t! Vio was perfectly fine in the fire temple. Who cares if Vio hasn’t been eating? Who cares about Vio’s severe lack of sleep? Vio never had to deal with this in the fire temple. Goddesses—the fire temple was Vio’s home! It was theirs and it was Shadow’s. It was theirs. The fire temple was where they’d both lived, was where Vio had made all their best memories. And now? Now Zelda and Green are talking about tearing it down. They talk about it in front of Vio as if they aren’t even there! It’s cruel. They’re both cruel. None of them had even bothered to ask what Vio thinks of their stupid plan. It’s like they’re still not even here… Vio didn’t become an idiot while they were gone—of course they didn’t, that wouldn’t make sense. So why is it that everyone is treating them in the way you would treat a newborn baby? Vio’s not fragile, Vio won’t break or scream or cry at everything. Vio’s an 18 year old who is as in control of their emotions as a ruler is in control of their kingdom. Vio hates being treated this way. It’s unfair! Just because they’re impulsive it doesn’t mean they’re an idiot. They’re—they’re still smart…right? Even smart people can make mistakes. But…they don’t want to make a mistake right now. They have to tell Zelda and Green that they can’t tear down the fire temple—they can’t. It’s not right. If—no, when Shadow gets back, they don’t really expect him to live with them, do they? He’d want to go home, to the fire temple. The fire temple is his home. Vio can’t let them take more from Shadow than they already had. Spinning on their heel, Vio began to walk towards the castle. They can’t let the fire temple be torn down—they can’t. “Green!”Vio breathed out once they’d spotted Green a little bit away, standing and talking to a seemingly agitated Blue. “Vio—weren’t you with Erune today?” “I was but then I got mad and left. Listen—I need to talk to you and Zelda, like, yesterday.” “Is it…important?” “Yeah. I think it is.” Green shrugged and nodded. “I’ll…go get her. Wait here.” Vio nodded in response, watching Green walk off. “You seem annoyed, Blue. What’s up?” “Green’s acting like he knows everything. Mind knockin’ him down a peg somehow?” “Of course, it’s what I’m best at. What’s he thinking he knows now?” Blue paused, then sighed. “He thinks that destroying the fire temple will ‘fix’ you.” “What?”Vio’s mouth feels dry. “But…I don’t need fixing..?” “I know, I know. You need healing and help, not ‘fixing’. But Green thinks that the fire temple existing is why you’re so…”Blue blinked, gesturing up and down Vio’s body with a vague noise. “You just gestured to all of me.” “That’s the point.”Blue snorted. “Anyways. I know he means well but he’s doing a fuckin awful job. Even I’m not being that bad and I suck at this.” “No you don’t.”Vio hummed. “What I’m about to do will knock him down anyways.” “You’re not gunna tell me, are you?” “You’ll…find out when Green gets mad at me.” “Vio. Flower. Don’t do anything that you know will make people mad.” “I have to! I can’t let them do this, berry..I can’t. I won’t let it happen, not without fighting it.” “...flower, be careful. Don’t give Green a reason to mark you as insane.” “Why?” Blue fell quiet. Vio’s curious, though. “Why, Blue?” “You’ve been gone for months, and returned with a hand missing. Green could put you in a cell for reason of insanity, Vi.” “They still do that..?” “Unfortunately. Zel’s tryna change it but her pops won’t fucking budge.” “...oh.”Vio mumbled, backing up. “I don’t wanna be in a cell.” Maybe they shouldn’t. …fuck that. “But I have to do this, Blue.”Vio crossed their arms. “What are you even wanting to do, Vi?” “I can’t—” “Vi!” The two turned, looking to see Green waving Vio over, standing next to Zelda. “...gotta go. See ya, Blue.” “Be careful, Vio.” “I will be.”Vio shot Blue a gentle smile before walking over to Green and Zelda. “Hey.” “You needed to talk?”Zelda hummed, linking one of her arms with one of Green’s and her other arm with one of Vio’s. “...yes. It’s important to me.” “What’s it ‘bout?” They gulped at Green’s question, biting their lip. Would…Shadow appreciate this? Would Shadow want Vio to save the fire temple for him..? They don’t know. “The fire temple.”Vio sighed softly, looking down. “I can’t let it be destroyed.” “...Vio—” “Blue told me what you think, Green.”They stated bluntly. “But you need to hear me out. When Shadow comes back—do you think he’ll just want to live with us here? Do you really think that? Listen. I know him. When he comes back—he’ll want familiarity. He’ll want to be home. The fire temple is our—”Vio took a breath. Not ‘our’ home. It’s Shadow’s. “—his home.”They’d finished. “Oh, Vio…he’s…isn’t he?—”Zelda held her breath, looking at Vio with concern. Vio scoffed mentally. They don’t need concern. Not about this. “He’ll come back.” Vio knows he will. He has to. He wouldn’t willingly stay away. “He hated being alone, and there’s nothing lonelier than death.” “You sound so sure.” “Because I am.”They huffed out. “Shadow will come back one day. I’ll do everything I can to help him, too. So—please. You can’t tear it down.” Green let out a sigh. “Violet, we care about you enough to know that the fire temple staying up isn’t healthy for your mental state. I mean—you think he’ll come back.” “He will. Don’t you fucking dare try to tell me that you care.”Vio tugged their arm out of Zelda’s, turning to glare at Green. “Don’t you dare tell me that you care when you talk about tearing the fire temple down in front of me. I lived there for months, do you really think there wasn’t a reason for it?” “...Vio. It’s—the fire temple is dangerous, we don’t want any travellers getting curious–” “Then I’ll help make it safer, Zel! Just—please. Either you keep it up willingly, or I make sure you can’t tear it down. And I don’t want to have to do that.” “Is that a threat?”Green frowned. Vio whistled, and shook their head, then bit their lip and looked at Green in the eyes. They see the fear and caution in Green’s eyes and—oh, they haven’t felt a rush like this in so long, they missed feeling this way. The feeling brings back good memories.. “It can be a threat if you want it to be. Just...think about what I’ve said.”And with that, they turned and walked away, heading home.

[fandoomrants]

Horrance Soulmate AU pt 2

Part 1 can be found here.

Soo, I wasn't planning to write a second part of this, but the funny thing is, when the idea first came to my mind, I was thinking of Ben's POV about the whole situation. And then somehow my thoughts went to Klaus and how he views this whole soulmate thing, and then when I got to write it, the initial idea was sort of shifted (though I'm happy with how the first part from Klaus' POV turned out!). But I really wanted to write more about Ben's POV, and now I got to do it.

I also wanna thank you for the kind replies, I'm so happy people liked it and my idea made sense to them! Unfortunately, this is my secondary blog so I can't answer replies :/

Another thing, it's not explicitly mentioned here and I believe I forgot to mention in the previous part but in this Soulmate AU, the name of you soulmate appears on your hand but nobody else except you can see it. So, that explains how Klaus never saw if his name was on Ben's hand, or how pretty much nobody would be able to know that these two were soulmates.

Anyway, to the story now!

So, this was it. This was him.

Years of wondering about the face behind the name, only for the guy to drop out of nowhere - literally - in the middle of his home. Needless to say, it was something Ben hadn’t expected even in his wildest dreams. Not that he had any wild dreams about his soulmate. And he definitely wasn’t going to develop those now.

Everything about these people, they called themselves the Umbrella Academy (even the name was ridiculous), was… chaotic, for lack of a better word. Well, there were a few other words that came to Ben’s mind to describe them. But that’s not the point.

And the weirdest thing of all was, that they seemed to know who he is. They knew his name. Not all of their names, only his name.

Klaus knew who he is although the two were meeting for the first time.

It was a lot to unpack. This bunch of strangers that had the audacity to come, appear, in their home and claim all sort of absurd things, such as this was their home, and that he, Ben, was supposed to be dead? Yet they were glad he was alive? What was going on?

He was at a loss of words for a second there. He didn’t know what to do so he did what he had learned to do best throughout the years - use his mean words in order to push the attempts of those people at any sort of closeness away. It usually would work with the Sparrows. They had this established type of relationship. Knew how to appear strong and united in front of an audience, yet in private all masks were off. They wouldn’t work directly against each other. It was mostly a game. A game on which everyone was aiming for the first place, the joy of the participation be damned. It wasn’t even for being Number One. Not for most of them. But it was a constant rivalry and attempt to out-best the others, be the one who shines.

But the Umbreallas, they didn’t seem affected by it. They didn’t seem too offended or bothered. Didn’t get the damn hint.

Quite the contrary. Instead of moving away, become intimidated, they stayed. Klaus stayed. Not only that but he got closer. He even attempted to hug Ben. This drew the line.

If words weren’t enough, there were always fists that he could use. And he did. And when both words and fists wouldn’t help the information sink in, there was always the Horror. But even then, to Ben’s biggest surprise, the man just wouldn’t give up. To him, this was progress, as he had worded it. They were hugging.

Later Ben would think about the Umbrella Academy. He would discuss them with his siblings, comment on their weaknesses and strengths. Try to figure out a way to get rid of them, preserve their reputation. There were some thoughts he would keep to himself, though. How these people seemed genuinely happy to see him, even though he had shown not one bit of kindness to them. How they were chaotic but seemed to keep each other’s backs.

How he had met his soulmate in the face of one of them.

He had wondered sometimes, what would he be. Would he be a normal person? There was nothing normal about Klaus or his appearance. He was a weird combination of weird movements, soft features, big green eyes and shaggy hair, odd clothing, and even odder words. Ben didn’t know what his powers were at first but he knew he must have some. So no, he was not a normal person by any means. He had wondered if he would be strong. He didn’t appear to be strong. He wasn’t a fighter. He didn’t have big muscles and definitely lacked fighting skills. The Sparrows had quickly decided he was the weak one out of the Umbrellas. So no, he wasn’t strong either.

So what was he?

As time passed, he got to learn more things about the Umbrella Academy. They were not like the Sparrows. They were not a good team of superheroes. But they seemed to be a family. Which made them a better team than the Sparrows were, in a sense. He learned that once Sloane decided to join their chaotic family, while he and Fei were too busy being at each other’s throats, while most of their siblings were dead. And he wanted to blame her, really. The Umbrellas were responsible for everything bad that was happening. Ever since they first appeared, everything went wrong. First Marcus disappeared. Then Jayme and Alphonso died. And then it turned out the world was about to end. And where was Ben? In a hotel with the people that were the cause of it all.

Of course, he would be grumpy about it! He would be grumpy and deny that he was actually maybe a bit jealous. Jealous of… what? The relationship those people had? They were also constantly at each other’s throats. But it was nothing like the Sparrows. They cared for each other. Jealous of his dead alternative self, maybe? He had died. Meaning, he wasn’t as strong as him. He had failed. But he had been part of this chaotic family. They seemed to care for him so much. He didn’t know what to make of all of this. He didn’t like them, he really didn’t. And they didn’t like him either, yet they had let him stick around. Was it because they didn’t want another person to just die or because they were trying to get their dead brother back somehow?

Was Klaus trying to talk to him and be nice just because he saw someone long gone in him? He wasn’t that person that he knew, though. And it made him even grumpier.

It wasn’t fair. Wasn’t fair at all. His soulmate cared for him only because he shared a name, and face, with someone he had once known.

And he still had no clue what this soulmate thing was supposed to mean. Was it some joke? Did he have Klaus’ name on his arm just because the other Ben did? Is this even how it worked? If that was the case, what it meant for Ben? He was some sort of a replacement, a memory of someone else maybe. He never truly fit in his family, and then there was this other family but he also couldn’t fit in because he wasn’t the person they were looking for.

Ben refused to become someone else just so he could possibly fit somewhere.

It took some more grumping, some conversations, and lots of alcohol for him to figure out he didn’t need to do that. It took for Klaus to come to him and show him. Show him the honesty that he needed to hear. Show him that the other Ben also wasn’t perfect. Yet they loved him. Show him that he could also be loved and accepted just the way he was if he could only let his guard down. And then show it to the others too. Make them accept him for who he was. And then, for a little while, things weren’t so bad. He had lost almost everyone he knew. He wasn’t accepting those assholes as his new family or anything. But maybe it wasn’t that impossible to eventually accept that they weren’t such a bad company.

Klaus wasn’t such a bad company.

He had learned some things about the man. Some of them, he could already tell. The guy was ridiculous. But he was genuine and true. He wasn’t trying to be liked, he didn’t care what others thought of him and that’s something that was almost scaring Ben. Indeed, he was not normal. He wasn’t trying to wear any masks. But he was still cared for just the way he was. Maybe he wasn’t strong in the sense most of them were. Ben could faintly remember him mentioning he had turned out to be immortal somehow. Maybe it wasn’t the most useful power, but he had other qualities that made him strong.  He was trying to help, in his own odd way. And somehow, it worked. Ben wasn’t sure if he was doing it for his own gain for some reason, but it worked. Maybe some would say he was looking at the world through pink glasses. But Ben supposed he was just looking at the world through his own, weird glasses. And he was looking at Ben, acknowledging the fact he was not his dead brother, and still wanted to stick around him.

And Ben didn’t mind sticking with him for the evening. He didn’t mind sticking with him on the rooftop with the others, or later, just the two of them.

And when he had woken up the next morning, he had been scared. He had been scared he couldn’t find him. And then, he had been scared for showing vulnerability the previous night. He had been scared that he might have, for a moment there, imagined how this person could really be his soulmate. It wasn’t that he thought he’s suddenly in love or something ridiculous like that. But it was so easy to imagine sticking around this man that understood him and accepted him more than anyone else did forever. Or at least until they were still alive. But it could be easily blamed on the alcohol. And he did blame it on the alcohol. And he once again used his favourite coping mechanism. He once again turned to rudeness, hoping that this time, it might work.

Klaus was still not getting the hint. Maybe Ben could get used to this. If they had time for that.

[tarnishedxknight]

[ Wounds That Refuse To Heal ]

Mantis let Ashelia and Noah argue with each other and get anything they needed off their chest. Basch loved them both, so she tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. Tried to understand it probably was a result of their stressful situation. However, Basch was also dealing with time displacement, and he was not acting the way they did. But Mantis knew each person was different, and they reacted differently to things. Especially things like stressors, triggers or difficulties.

She could attempt to get them to communicate, but neither of them seemed too willing to put their differences aside. Their idea of ‘coexistence’ seemed to be about, quite literally, existing in the same time and space as each other. If only they understood that coexistence meant living in harmony despite substantial differences…

“I know this is hard. Let’s get back on the same page,” she said once Ashelia and Noah were done talking, her tone patient and understanding. “You are in a different place and time. You are both extremely stressed. You both were treated unfairly when it should not have been the case. But you both are safe here. Your lives have changed, and you don’t have to make things harder for yourself… or for one another. You can use this as an opportunity to speak with each other. Perhaps you could try to approach each other with genuine curiosity, not animosity.”

“Noah, you do not have to trust me. Just know my intentions are good.” Mantis tilted her head to the side as she watched him. “I do not blame you for not trusting the Princess, or… for not trusting anyone, really. You’ve had to fight all your life. It is all you know, and you feel you cannot stop. I understand why you would believe everyone is out to get you. It really is terrible, feeling like you are not safe anywhere. But remember what I said before you opened the door. 'You do not have to believe everything your mind tells you’. And it is easier said than done. I know you are defensive, but if the Princess had hidden intentions, I would tell you. She means well… and so do I.”

Mantis turned once again to look at Ashelia, who was quietly folding in on herself after loudly yelling at Noah. Nevertheless, she had been anxious, triggered, and she still tried to ease Noah’s own guilt. Mantis admired her for that.

“And you feel you have something to prove, Princess. Including to people you don’t like. Perhaps because you are afraid you will not be believed again. But I know what I felt when I held your hand. You are believed.” Mantis smiled warmly at her. “Try to prove yourself to you. But until then, take it easy. Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better? Would you like me to grow more moonflowers for you? Any other flower, perhaps? You know, my powers have been evolving lately and… it can be really scary at times, but it always brings me great joy to use them to help others.”

__________

Noah huffed a little in amusement. Curiosity, not animosity? It was cute, it really was. It was a nice, cute, ideal sentiment. But nothing about the world, their situation, or their two personalities was ideal, and so that type of approach wasn’t going to work. He was not about to elaborate on that, though, because he knew Mantis was trying to help, and he valued her opinion. Nevertheless, he thought it absolutely futile to try and get along with the Dalmascan princess. She was a righteous, headstrong, spoiled, naive child.

He was quiet as Mantis continued, hating how well she could read him. It was terrible not to feel safe anywhere, but it was even worse to know that those you loved weren’t safe either, and you didn’t protect them. That was the guilt and grief that Noah lived with now, and it was eating him alive. To be further triggered by the princess and reminded of those he’d rather never think on again certainly was not helping anything.

Ashelia appreciated Mantis’ desire to help, but her words did nothing to comfort her. Something about the way she was implying that being here in this place was a safe thing for her didn’t sit well at all. They didn’t have to make things harder for themselves? Things were hard, and she’d been dealing with it. What good was ease and safety if it was where and when she did not want to be? “I don’t want to be safe,” she blurted out suddenly. “I didn’t ask for that. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

Noah’s smirk faded, his unnaturally amber eyes watching the princess. He hadn’t expected her to say something like that, and now he was genuinely intrigued. His arms folded, and he listened.

“I was ready for hardship, for strife, for battle,” Ashelia continued. “I knew the road ahead would be long and difficult and dangerous... but I welcomed it. I wanted it. I was willing to do anything necessary to secure a future for Dalmasca, and to make sure that my people were cared for and safe.” Her fists clenched at her sides. “I was ready for that, and I would have done anything, given anything, including my life, to see it happen. I was ready to make sacrifices, to give more of myself than I ever had before. I do not want the safety and ease of this time. I want to right the wrongs, ease the suffering, and end the war of my own time, for my own people. And I believe I would have done so, at any cost to myself. No price would have been too high. That was my purpose, my calling... where my heart lay. And now it is all gone... in the blink of an eye.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I would give anything to feel unsafe in my own time again... if it meant I had that chance back... to set it right. The safety of this time... means nothing to me.”

Noah’s eyes had fallen halfway through Ashelia’s words, for they hit a little too close to home for him. For once, the girl had spoken truths. That was exactly what was wrong right now. He was antsy, anxious, restless... because he had things to do. Important things. Desperate and dire things. Except... he didn’t. Not anymore. To go from such a perilous, strained, and sharp sense of urgency to... nothing. Safety. The girl has the right of it. This calmness. This safety. It is maddening.

“I have always had to prove myself. I was never as useful as my brothers because I was born female. I was never seen as a legitimate heir to my own throne for the same reason. Without my father or husband I was seen as powerless. When I was kind, I was called weak. When I was unyielding and ambitious, I was called power-hungry. When I turned to others for help, I was told to sit and wait, to be safe. When I was wrong, no one believed me. I have had to prove myself many times over just to earn even half the respect, support, or credibility of a man.” Mantis saying that she was believed, however... meant a lot. “I wish there had been more people willing to listen in my own time...” she mused. “Thank you, Mantis.”

Despite all she had just said, Ashe did manage a smile when Mantis offered to make more Moonflowers for her. “I shall forever be grateful for both your flowers and your kindness, Mantis,” she said, for that was true. Even as frustrated and lost as she felt, that didn’t mean she wasn’t thankful for the people of this time who were genuinely trying to help her through this troubled point in her life.

Noah was quiet still, mulling over several things Ashe had said. He preferred the animosity from her frankly. This sort of emotional candor made him uncomfortable, for it threatened to tease out his own. And that he could not allow.

[kyleknight]

Bdubs Shouts A Lot

One last fic for @gingermaple's Red vs Blue/Hermitcraft AU for the night. This one sort of follows the events of that first one I posted.

wordcount: 1075

warnings: war setting

brief summary: Scar, Joe, and Oli are all ready to have a great funeral for Bdubs, but then Bdubs shows up.

ao3 link

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

It’s not much of a shock when Bdubs appears at his own funeral as a ghost— or whatever he’s deciding to call himself. He seems to be extremely proud of this accomplishment, however, so Scar decides he’ll play along. 

There’s nothing actually in the grave, but Scar isn’t about to tell Bdubs that. Or Joe, who is genuinely mourning the loss of the man he supposedly killed via tank on his second day at Blue base. Scar got up early today, dug at the dirt enough to give the appearance of a fresh grave, and plopped the marker that Joe made right on top. A very nice looking grave, although not as nice as the one they made for Cub a few months ago. 

See, the thing is, after Cub died, Scar decided it was time to fulfill his curiosity about this ridiculous nowhere canyon. He quietly slipped into his former commanding officer’s room and found a lot of impossibly-encrypted files and quite a few suspicious items. One of said items was an entire set of armor filled with a complicated mechanical chassis.

A set of armor completely identical to Bdubs’ armor. Same height and everything.

It sure provided some interesting explanation for why the other guy never took his armor off and never joined them for meals. Scar gave up on the files, but he figured things would either come to light or they wouldn’t. 

He’d call this a pretty intriguing clue to figuring out Bdubs’ little mystery.

“Bdubs!” Joe gasps. “How are you alive! I thought you died in a tragic accident!”

Bdubs seethes. He’s oddly translucent and slightly smaller than usual, but he’s strangely taking the same image as his recently departed metal corpse. He’s even got ghost-weapons equipped to his sides and back.

“Tragic accident— YOU KILLED ME WITH THE TANK!!” he shouts. “Why is the freakin’ tank attending the funeral anyway! Isn’t that a little insensitive, having the thing that killed me at MY funeral?”

“Hey, you can’t blame Oli for that,” Joe says. “He was trying to figure out his capabilities so that he could get a better understanding of himself and his identity.”

“Sorry,” Oli chimes in from where he’s parked a short distance away. There’s a fluttery dark blue flag tied to his turret, acting as a mourning veil.

“Well he sure was capable of KILLING ME!” Bdubs says. “And don’t think I’m forgetting about how it was YOU driving the tank, Joe! Great job killing someone on your second day, too bad it was someone on your OWN TEAM!!”

“In my defense, I was trying to be as nonlethal as possible,” Joe says. “I was just trying to scare off the Reds.”

“And you did a great job of that!” Scar says encouragingly. “I think they might leave us alone for a while now!”

“He KILLED me!” Bdubs yells. 

“That makes me wonder: does this return mean you’ve become a vengeful ghost?” Joe says. “If so, I think it’s kind of a shame, because it appears that you’ve been bound to the site of your violent death, unable to pass on to whatever might or might not exist after the moment of death. We can try to purify you so that you can move on and be at peace if you’d like that.”

“I’ll help!” Oli says, turning his turret towards them.

“No thank you,” Bdubs says immediately. “I’m a freakin’ ghost now and you’d better believe I’m gonna haunt every last one of you.”

“Oh,” Scar says suddenly. “I guess this means we can’t give Oli your room.”

“WHAT?!” Bdubs says. “You were gonna give the TANK my ROOM?”

“Well, you probably weren’t going to be using it,” Scar says.

“Screw that!” Bdubs says. “That’s my room, and I’m gonna haunt this base until it falls apart! Long after you’re all dead, I’ll still be here! Goodness, I can’t believe I got killed! By a rookie!”

“We were all rookies once,” Scar points out. “Joe just had an unfortunate accident. Could have happened to anyone. Oli felt very sorry about it, too. He even put a bunch of ori-grammy flowers on the crater where you died.”

“Origami— how the heck did a tank make origami flowers?” Bdubs sputters.

“Joe helped me with that!” Oli says. “I think the two of us might have a knack for it. We could start a papercraft business after the war is over!”

“Sure, sure,” Scar says. He claps his hands together, giving them all a very warm smile. “Well, since it seems like Bdubs isn’t completely dead, I suppose we can skip the mourning, head back into the base, and start the reception. The gifts from Command won’t be here for at least another week or two, but I made some cookies!”

“Cookies?” Joe repeats. 

“To lift the mood!” Scar says. “Can’t spend all day being sad! Joe, you can still recite the eulogy you wrote for Bdubs once we’re out of this awful sun.”

“You wrote a eulogy?” Bdubs says, floating closer to Joe as they make their way into the base. Oli remains outside, of course, but Scar does notice how he tilts his turret down as if admiring the paper flowers they placed around the grave marker. Scar reminds himself to take out a few cookies for Oli while Joe is reciting the eulogy. Just because Oli can’t eat them doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate the gesture.

The reception is a success, as far as Scar is concerned. The food is excellent— all made by Scar himself, of course— and both Joe and Bdubs seem to genuinely have a good time now that Bdubs is starting on the path to forgiveness and mutual understanding. He’s still being a bit of a grouch and keeps repeating the fact that Joe killed him, but he’ll get over it soon enough. They’re a team, and if they don’t have each other’s backs, then anything could come and happen to them!

Later that day, as Scar takes Joe and Oli to one of the more interesting corners of the canyon to show off the cool fossils in the rock layers, he looks back in time to see Bdubs walking out of the base to stand on the roof in his usual position. He’s wearing— or perhaps inhabiting— the set of armor that Scar had so thoughtfully left in his room earlier that day.

Yep. He’ll get over it soon enough.

[gods-above]

One of my biggest pet peeves is when the only thing preventing a character from happiness is their own pride or self-deprecation. Like great. Thanks, author, for showing us that this character is actively delusional.

In reality, people are complicated and situations are complicated. I can understand not trusting people irl and being cautious of them. You literally have no idea what the risk is because anything could happen within the reasonable realm of randomness. You walk past ways more serial killers in your lifetime than you would even be aware existed after all.

But in fiction, especially when it’s omniscient third person and I have access to everyone’s intentions, it pisses me off. The suspension of disbelief does not work here. You can’t reasonably expect me to believe that this character doesn’t trust anyone when the others characters are so blatantly trying to do their best. It feels like a fucking Mary Sue where everyone is trying to do her bidding and she’s just like “oh woe is me. I’m LITERALLY dying” like maybe you wouldn’t be fuckibg DYING if you weren’t a cowardly bitch pushing away everyone with obvious and straightforwardly good intentions ???? Ever consider that???? Don’t pull this “I just don’t want to bother them” bullshit. Your DEATH would bother them far more than the inconvenience of feeding you one (1) warm meal.

It’s melodramatic as shit and stupid as fuck. Ask for fucking help. Literally everyone is telling you do it. The only reason they don’t just kidnap you is because they respect your boundaries, but kidnapping you would genuinely result in a better situation so like

I hate the whole concept of “right and wrong” in today’s society. Morality is stupid and philosophy is stupid. We live in a society of fucked up assholes. The problem isn’t “are we living a good life” but “are we alive”

[queerofzaun]

so i've been thinking about vi x fem!reader..

where reader is with jinx because she want to be able to keep her sane and not lost her sanity because of what happened to mylo, vander, and claggor. since back then she promised vi to take care of powder which she does, she even joined silco and sevika taught her how to fight with a bow since she's someone who already know the basics. along with that, jinx also tweak her arrows and put some kind of strong poison at the end of the arrow. and of course she asked singed to make an antidote just in case she accidentally shot someone and then vi came back with caitlyn, and chaos ensues .

please please please feed my heart my favorite person 😭❤

𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 : vi x fem!reader

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 : angst, light violence, fluff

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 : before vi leaves, she makes reader to take care of jinx. one night, reader & jinx have a mission from silco to take out some group of bandits but run into someone unexpected

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 : 1.9K

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 : i deleted this draft three times lmfao, but here we gooo

Many years had passed since you last saw your girlfriend. Ex girlfriend. The thought of her would usually keep you up till early hours of the mornings. Wondering if she was alive or dead, where she could possibly be. The last thing she said to you before she disappeared was to take care of Powder. Which you did. Though, you knew her better as Jinx now. Once Vi left, Silco became a father to her and she changed. The blue haired bomber was the not same girl she was all those years ago.

As much as you wanted to leave Zaun behind and forget everything, couldn’t break your promise. So you stayed, and helped Jinx. Thank god you did, because you were her only voice of reason. The only one who could really get through to her, who would genuinely listen to what she had to say. She loved Silco, but he didn’t like her talking about what happened that day. You were her person. Someone she had found comfort in. To your surprise, you actually ended up bonding with Silco. Even his right hand man, Sevika.

Sevika taught you how to use a bow, something you quickly became skilled at. For years, you practiced every day. You were a perfect shot now. You never missed a target. She also helped you learn to fight and defend yourself. You became a much stronger person because of her so you had an appreciation for her. Sometimes her dislike for Jinx got under your skin though. You had become very protective over her, you didn’t like anyone messing with her.

Jinx had been through a lot, you had too. Maybe that’s why you always felt so protective over her. You understood her pain to an extent. She was currently working on your arrows, tweaking them with some poisonous tincture Singed had made for her. Little did she know though, you had had actually made him prepare an antidote. The last thing you needed was Jinx going off the rails and causing someone to get hurt. It was just.. for precaution.

The two of you were planning on taking care of some group of bandits for Silco, as they had been causing trouble for quite some time now. You weren’t really looking forward to it, all you wanted to do was stay in the for night and relax. The past week you had spent nearly all day training with Sevika and saving Jinx’s ass from trouble. You were exhausted. But, you knew better than piss Silco off, it never ended well for anybody. Plus, it would be kind of nice to kick some ass before hitting the hay.

“Annnnd.. Done.” Jinx exclaimed with a grin as she held up the poisoned arrows.

You sighed, “I can’t believe you’re making me use those.”

Jinx pouted at your statement, “Y/n, the arrows you use are boring. They needed a little fix, now you can really kick some ass!”

You watched as her pout quickly turned into a grin, as she pushed the arrows to your chest. Taking them from you, you shook your head as your slid them into your quiver. You took the bow that was leaning against the couch, “Are we ready?”

Jinx let out a quick ‘mhm’ as she grabbed her pistol and mini gun. Once she had her thighs, the two you left the bar. The cool air nipped your skin, but it felt much better than the hot air from inside the last drop. The air was much better to breathe in as well. Despite it being filled with toxins, it still felt much more fresh compared to the smoke filled bar. Jinx followed behind you as the two of you made your way to the location Sevika had given you earlier. It was near Jerichos booth. Which worked out for you, a meal would be needed after this job.

“I can’t wait to see the look on their stupid little faces once they realize your arrows are poisonous.” Jinx chucked from behind you.

“That’s if you don’t start blasting first.” You teased.

She giggled in response, “Good point.”

It wasn’t long until you were close to approaching the location, Jerichos finally coming into view. You kept walking until you heard Jinx stop in her tracks. Stopping, you turned to look back at her over your shoulder with furrowed brows. Her blue eyes were widened, seeming to be in a state of shock. Her lips were slightly parted, her hands limp at her sides as her breathing grew heavier. You followed her gaze until you saw two girls at the food booth. One girl on the girls had a hood pulled over her head, tall and thin. The other had wild pink hair, with an all too familiar undercut. Your breath caught stuck in your throat as you stared at the two women. It couldn’t be her. It couldn’t. She wouldn’t be in Zaun without trying to find you and Jinx first. She wouldn’t do that to you

Jinx stepped closer after a few moments until she was behind them, “Vi?..”

The pink haired girl slowly turned to her head, her face coming into view. It was her. You tried to process everything as you watched her embrace Jinx. Your brain was running a million miles per minute. Had she been here this whole time? Was she seriously eating when she could’ve been looking for you? And who the girl that was with her? Your fists clenched as you felt the hurt, anger, and betrayal kicking into overdrive. Before you could think twice, you had pulled your bow and arrow out, taking aim quickly at the strange woman beside Vi as tears began to brim your e/c eyes.

The woman noticed your aim, eyes widening before taking a small back until her back hit the the counter. It wasn’t too long before she had swiftly took out her sniper, taking aim at you as well. It caused Jinx and Vi to break their hug, the blue haired girl staring at you and Vi checked on that woman. That only made the anger grow stronger, your fingers pulling back on the string just a bit as you stared at the two of them with baneful eyes.

“Y/n..” Vi finally spoke to you, making aim the bow in the direction.

“Who the fuck is that.” You spat, “She doesn’t look like she belongs here. Is she a fucking topsider?”

That immediately caused Jinx to shift demeanors, now growing pissed alongside with you. She stepped back from Vi, until she was standing next to you with her gun aimed at the other girl. “No. No, tell me she’s lying.” Jinx’s voice cracked.

You could tell she was about to have an episode. She was holding her head and talking to herself, most likely having hallucinations. “No! She wouldn’t do that!” Jinx cried out to herself.

“My name is Caitlyn. I’m here with Vi, I’m doing an investigation. There’s been an attack in Piltover and i’m trying to get answers.” Caitlyn introduced, still keeping her gun aimed in your direction.

“Get the fuck out of my city.” You yelled at her, your fingers tightening their grip against the string.

“Y/n. She’s not your enemy. She br-” Vi started but you cut her off by laughing dryly.

“Don’t. You disappear for years and suddenly you’re back eating a meal with a fucking enforcer. And you’re helping her with an investigation? That matters more to you than us?” You spat, tilting your head towards Jinx.

“Wh- No, that’s no-” Vi started, but you cut her off by releasing the drawstring of your bow.

The arrow whipped through the air before penetrating Caitlyn’s shoulder. She dropped her gun, falling to the ground with a gasp. As hurt as you were, you couldn’t help but feel guilty after watching how upset it made Vi. You were angry, but you could never hate her. Even if you wanted. You watched as she helped the enforcer, yanking the arrow out. Caitlyn’s face began to grow pale as sweat started to bead on forehead.

Her breath grew ragged and slow. “What did you do to me?” She breathed, her voice weak.

“I added a few.. special touches to the arrows.” Jinx answered, clasping her hands together with a wicked grin.

“What did you do?” Vi asked, glancing between the two of you.

You held back your tears as you walked up to the enforcer, kneeling down in front of her. It took everything in you to push back the selfish desire to let her die right there. You reached into your pocket, grabbing the antidote. You grabbed her jaw roughly, pouring the green concoction in her mouth. She tried to spit it out, but you shut her jaw before she could. Once you saw her throat gulp the medicine, you rose back to your feet.

“What was that?” Caitlyn asked, glaring up at you.

“The arrows were poisoned. I just gave you the cure.” You replied dryly.

With that, you turned and walked off from them. Jinx stood behind, probably to stay with Vi. You didn’t blame her though, she had missed her sister and you were still happy for Jinx. But, you just wanted to get away from the girls. More than anything, you just wanted to be alone. You heard Vi call after you, but you ignored her. Tears were brimming your eyes as you ignored her. All it would take was one look with those beautiful slate eyes, and that would be enough to make you feel weak.

A hand was on your shoulder, making you stop in your tracks. You didn’t bother to turn around. You knew who it was. The tears threatened to spill just from the simple touch. It had been so many years since she had last touched you. She walked in front of you, taking your face in her hands. Then you finally broke down. Tears began to pour as you felt the warmth of her hands against your cheeks. Your eyes met her slate ones.

“Baby.. I’m sorry. I got arrested, and Caitlyn got me out under the condition that I help her. I swear, I didn’t forget about you or Pow. I thought about you every fucking day.” She rambled.

“But you were eating with her? It didn’t seem like much of an investigation.” You muttered, breaking her gaze.

She let out a soft chuckle, “I haven’t had a real meal in many years, cupcake. She didn’t even want to be there. There’s no reason to be jealous, you know? I still love you.” 

Blush dusted your cheeks as you kept your gaze anywhere but on her, “I.. I’m not jealous.” 

Her arms pulled you into her chest before wrapping them around you tightly. You softened under her embrace, bringing your arms up to her back as you hugged back. She smelled the same which took you by surprise. It was comforting, knowing that she hadn’t completely changed in the time she had been gone. Her appearance was different, though. Piercings, tattoos, shorter hair. 

Vi pulled back, cupping your face again to press her lips to yours. You kissed back, bringing a hand to the back of her neck. Her lips moved against yours gently. All the anger and pain slowly faded. There was nothing left but the love you had for her. You missed her kiss more than you had realized. She pulled away before resting her forehead against yours, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Vi.” You smiled softly, “Now let’s go make sure your sister hasn’t killed your enforcer friend.”

She chuckled, “Good idea.”

[genshin-obsessed]

You Get Injured!

Yo! I’m back and this time with a little bit of angst. One thing about me: I ADORE ANGST!!! LEMME BREAK SOMEONE’S HEART!!! I love, love, love writing angst so much! Anyway, enjoy!

Summary:  You get injured on the job, what’s his reaction?

Includes: Aether, Kaeya, Diluc, Venti, Razor, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli, and Childe! (YES I ADDED AETHER >:0)

Come one, come all! See what happens when you come home injured!

Warnings: Mentions of blood, no details though.

You were supposed to be with Aether, but he had his own commissions, but he swore he’d come help you right after. You weren’t patient and ended up getting into a fight with too many hilichurls and it didn’t end well.

He immediately remembered the time he lost Lumine, but for some reason, he was even more scared than that incident. He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him and he’d completely frozen up. When he saw your bloodied form fall to the floor, it brought him back to reality.

He ran to you and pulled you into his arms, desperately searching for life. He needed to see that you were ok. In fact, he’d taken your hand and squeezed your wrist to feel your pulse. It was weak, but it was there. He pressed his lips to yours, ignoring the taste of iron that followed.

As the doctor was stitching up the larger gashes, he was cleaning up the blood around your face and whispering words of encouragement to you. He gave you water and held your hand throughout the entire process.

PERSONAL NURSE AETHER REPORTING FOR DUTY! Beck and call, whenever you need him, he’s there for you. He put his adventuring on hold until you were 100% better.

Did you need an adventuring partner? Cuz Aether needs one! And you’re the perfect candidate. He’s going on adventures will you- well ok, he’s going EVERYWHERE with you but for a while. Once his nerves and anxiety dies down, he backs off quite a bit.

You had been fighting hilichurs for a commission and the last thing you had expected was multiple Mitachurls to be around. Well, there were more than you could handle and they floored you.

His heart almost stopped when he saw your bloodied form walking towards him, reaching out ever so weakly. He sprinted towards you, hating that he wasn’t there for you. Why was he so slow?! Why were so you far away, dammit?

He takes you into his arms and holds you close before quickly rushing you to the doctor. He knew he might’ve been a bit rough, but he could barely think. All that was going through his mind was him wishing that it was all just a nightmare.

He’s there 24/7, whenever you need him. He’s got meals, blankets, cuddles, kisses, whatever you need. He helps you with EVERYTHING. He knew it was hard to shower with all those wounds and he didn’t want your stitches to open up, so he was a bit strict.

After your full recovery, he’s a little bit hesitant to let you go on your own. He might just join you on a mission or two. Don’t mind him, but once his worries are eased a little, he backs off. Besides, the cavalry captain can’t exactly run around with you, even though he so desperately wants to.

You were on your way to Mondstat from Liyue where you ended up on a beach with more ruin guards than you could handle (may the lord protect you if you wander there on accident).

Full fledged panic. It almost feels like someone was actively tearing his heart out. He couldn’t even breathe in that moment. He desperately wished he could heal you (I don’t think he can…), make you all better so you wouldn’t have to hurt so much. Were… were you crying?

He ran to you but the second he reached out to touch you, he pulled back a little. He was almost scared to touch you, like something as gentle as his touch might shatter what remained. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore, but it was clear you couldn’t walk so he had to carry you.

He does hold you close when you get help, whispering words of encouragement and love to you; anything to help. He immediately helped clean the blood off of you, trying to be as gentle as possible.

Through your healing process, he’s beside you constantly. He helps you with everything. Anything you need, he’s there. Thirsty? He’s got some water. Hungry? He’s got a plate of food. Need cuddles? Scoot over.

He’s actually terrified to let you go, but he knows you. This is your job and he’d seen you in action. So, he does let you go… as long as he can stick to you like glue (Cries in no Venti).

You had been hunting some abyss mages down and everything was going great… until it wasn’t. A rookie mistake almost caused your death. You’d never been so scared and the only thing you could think of was Diluc in that moment. You wanted to be in his arms.

He thought he’d been caught in a nightmare. He genuinely believed it wasn’t you. But when you called out to him, he was yanked back to reality. Everything felt so weird, it felt like a weird out of body experience for him. He was so scared he was shaking as he reached out to touch your bloodied face.

The first thing he does is check you to see how bad your injuries are before he brings you home to his personal doctor. Your blood burned him, it stung as tears welled up in his eyes. How could he let this happen to you? How could he fail you like this?

As the doctor patches you up, he sits beside you, holding your hand and giving you kisses every now and then, telling you you’re doing great and that you’ll be ok. He was still shaking, but he didn’t want you to worry, so he did his best to hide it. 

He’s extremely busy, so he can’t be beside you 24/7, but he tries to be with you every single night. In fact, he lets the knights handle everything while you heal, not wanting to leave you alone for too long

You best believe he’s hunting down every single abyss mage in existence. One hurt you? They all suffer. You try to keep him in check by keeping him at your side.

You had decided to challenge Electro Hypostases on your own... You should’ve been more careful. You didn’t realize how powerful it was and you got extremely lucky. 

Oh he can smell your blood from a distance. So he didn’t even need to see you to know you were injured. He was terrified. His heart was beating so fast and he couldn’t catch his breath. He felt himself going insane when he couldn’t find you.

Well wolves lick their wounds, but he couldn’t lick yours. One, it wouldn’t work, your wounds were too deep, two, he was a human, not a wolf. He knew your friends could help you so he rushed you back to Mondstat (I’m sure this is probably wrong, feel free to roast me).

Although he knew the doctors were just trying to help, he couldn’t stop himself from being aggressive. He even growled at a doctor when you whimpered as you received the stitches. Kaeya and Jean had to hold him back.

No one is allowed near you until you’re fully healed, Razor doesn’t let anyone get close. It’s not just him being super possessive, he was deeply terrified that in case someone attacked you while he wasn’t there…

Your new adventure partner is Razor. Even if he has to live in Mondstat with the other humans, he’ll do it. As long as you’re with him. Don’t bother trying to argue, it won’t work.

You had a teeny weeny competition with Xiangling that you two could find the best ingredients first. You got careless, wandered into a hilichurl camp, only to get floored by 4 mitachurls.

Who hurt you?! Who hurt you and where are they? Xiao just wants to talk. 

Thankfully, the boss of the inn was able to find some help for you and helped patch you up, while Xiao waited patiently. On the outside he looked calm, on the inside- well it was chaos. Nothing could calm his anger and anxiety.

He reassured you that you did a great job, letting you know that he was proud of you. Not to mention, he kept thanking you for coming back alive so that he could save you. He didn’t even want to think about what could’ve happened if you weren’t able to come back… 

He kept you close. As you healed, he was almost like a personal nurse. He brought you whatever you wanted and lots of almond tofu. If you don’t like it… well more for him.

He was very reluctant to let you go. He couldn’t go with you and it was his biggest regret. But he knew holding you back would do nothing, therefore he poured all his faith and trust in you. So please... come back to him.

You had gone to visit Chang the Ninth and on the way back had seen a village get attacked by some abyss mages. You jumped into action without thinking… at all.

Xingqiu actually hadn’t looked up from his book because he was so invested. You called after him, collapsing nearby but he wasn’t even paying attention. Finally, he heard you scream and jumped, his heart leaping out of his chest. He still won’t forgive himself… or pick up a book.

He immediately takes you back home, carefully carrying you so that he wouldn’t agitate your injuries anymore than they already were.

He stayed by your side and even helped patch you up, wanting to do as much as he could to help. He even kissed your injuries to help them heal faster.

He stays by your side as much as possible. You suggest he read you some books, but it seems like he’s too scared to touch any. Something that might need time to recover from.

Xingqiu’s still too busy to join you, but whenever he can, he definitely does. He is a little too protective in the beginning but as time goes on, he finds himself being able to hold back.

You just needed some chaos devices, just a few. YOU DIDN’T EXPECT TO GET YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU SO BADLY!

He couldn’t believe it. His heart had almost stopped when he saw you walking towards him. You were covered in blood and you weakly reached out before you fell. He dashed forward and caught you before you hit the ground.

He takes you to his place, getting a doctor to immediately patch you up. As they were cleaning your wounds, he tried to stay calm, yet had this overwhelming urge to destroy whatever hurt you into a million pieces.

He stayed with you, nursing you back to health. Of course, constantly forgetting mora was a thing when buying you literally anything. This will never change.

He wasn’t able to understand why he couldn’t physically let you go in the beginning. Slowly, it made sense that he was scared. Scared he might lose you and that you might never come back. Scared you might disappear like you almost did. But you were… well you. So he had to trust you. Come back home to him safely.

You had just finished up your commissions and were head home when you stumbled upon an Oceanid. You needed a cleansing heart… or four. You weren’t prepared and you were a little tired, but you went anyway. You were lucky you came back alive.

Childe had set up a cute little date for you two, but you were running a little bit late. He was starting to get worried and when he asked Katheryne, he was surprised to learn that you hadn’t returned home from your commissions. Then he saw you. Leaving a trail of blood and limping towards him. He felt as if someone had done all that to him instead.

He immediately runs to you, with Katheryne following. The two of them quickly get you some medical attention, but Childe refuses to let go the entire time. No matter what anyone says, they can’t take you away, so he goes with you everywhere.

You explain what had happened afterwards and he was angry that you’d put yourself in danger for a stupid item. But at the same time, he was proud of you for beating the Oceanid and coming back to him, regardless of what shape you were in. You still got an earful though.

He wanted to be around you 24/7, but he’s really busy. He tries to get away from work as much as he can to spend time with you. Throughout your healing process, he does a lot to help. Simple things like making you meals, the ones that melt your heart. 

He was reluctant, constantly checking up on you and even wanting to go on adventures with you. But he couldn’t spend every minute with you, so he needed to learn how to ease his own anxieties. Of course, you would never say no to going on a few adventures with him.

[titan-fodder]

You’ll Change Your Mind [Reiner Braun x Reader]

Rating: M (mature)

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Tags/Warnings: fem!reader, hurt/comfort, pregnancy talk, family pressures, mentions of mental health issues, mention of reader being epileptic

A/N: this is a soft and quite personal little thing I couldn’t get out of my head cause I’ve been feeling a little isolated after a conversation with new coworkers and also friends having babies/baby fever and straight up not relating eesh~

You’re quiet on the ride home, staring out the window at the passing cars and barely even blinking. Typically, you skip at least five songs during any trip, always searching for the right one, but currently you don’t seem to care, so Reiner knows you’re upset. 

He also knows exactly why.

“Baby–”

“I’m fine,” you cut him off, but your voice is nothing more than a murmur. 

He knows not to press the issue. You’re processing, gathering your thoughts, and Reiner has a feeling you’ll let him know everything on your mind sooner rather than later, probably with cracking words and tearful eyes. 

He doesn’t understand why his mom can’t drop the fucking subject. She’s gotten a little better at keeping her mouth shut, but every once in a while, she just can’t help herself.

“Well, when you two have a baby…”

“I saw the cutest little boy, and I couldn’t help but think of you.”

“You’ll make such good parents.”

And, when you both respond the same way– “We don’t want kids,” Reiner’s mother just gives you—as in you specifically—that patronizing look and tells you, “It’s different when it’s your own,” or, even worse, “You’ll change your mind one day.”

It is infuriating. Reiner tries to mediate, reminds his mom about the validity of not wanting children, but she just doesn’t get it. 

She may not be outright shaming either of you, but there is definitely manipulation present, and every time she does this, Reiner watches the way you try to laugh it off, try to smile and be polite, try to hide your genuine remorse for disappointing her. 

The first thing you tell him when you get back to the house is, “I’m gonna hop in the shower,” which is code for I’m gonna go cry it out. Before you can get away from him, though, Reiner takes your hand and pulls you close, giving you a short but meaningful kiss then releasing you to your own devices. 

For a few seconds, he just stands there at the threshold, sighing and massaging his forehead, then when he hears the shower turn on, he plops himself down on the couch, grabs one of the throw pillows, and uses it to muffle his loud groan of frustration. 

You’re letting this eat you alive, and knowing that is eating him alive. 

When Reiner was young and would think about his future, he usually saw a child in the mix, but the older he got, the more he realized he only envisioned that because it was what society expected of couples. He watched the world begin to crumble, witnessed hate and tragedy every day, and when he met you and you told him you weren’t interested in having kids, he found that he was relieved—like he was able to let out a breath he’d been holding for years. 

Truthfully, he has no fucking place raising a kid–can’t imagine the type of issues he’d pass on. His family’s medical history is no joke, and Reiner isn’t the most stable either. The fact that you put up with him is still hard to believe even after years of dating and a few months of marriage, but you’re an adult. You can understand him better than he can understand himself most of the time.

A kid, though? A kid won’t be able to grasp why daddy is pacing back and forth in the hallway with his hands on his head, won’t recognize his “low-power” days for what they are, where all he can do is lay in bed and hope tomorrow is better. A kid won’t understand the pills or the appointments. A kid won’t understand that the ‘no guns in the house’ rule isn’t entirely for their safety but for Reiner’s. 

And, those are just his issues. You have them too. Fuck, Reiner loves you, but you… you are just as neurotic as he is. You rip your hair out and bite your nails until they bleed. You check the doors throughout the day and night, every electrical outlet, every knob on the stove, and then you check them again. You cuddle blankets, plushies, and Reiner, and you rock yourself back and forth on the couch or in bed. 

How are the two of you supposed to take care of a child when you struggle to take care of yourselves?

It’s hard to explain all of that to your parents, though, hard to show them how difficult it gets sometimes, and you thought you had an ace up your sleeve with the whole epilepsy thing—it’s what made reality come crashing down on your mother at least—but Reiner’s still doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation.

“It would be dangerous. For her and a baby. She’d have to come off her medicine–”

“Honey, there are other medications that could help. There are plenty of women with disorders who still get pregnant.”

“She has seizures, mom! Like, hardcore, convulsive fucking seizures! She could fall and hurt herself. She could fall on her stomach–” 

“I’m sure the doctors would keep a close eye on her.”

It’s like talking to a wall, and the more his mom does this shit, the less Reiner wants to see her. He definitely doesn’t want you to have to deal with her, that’s for sure. 

It just baffles him that her desire for grandchildren outweighs her desire to keep you safe and happy. You. The person who helped her own son out of the bleak pit of depression, who took care of him and scheduled appointments when he didn’t have the drive to do so. You saved him. 

So, how the fuck is she okay with putting you in harm’s way? Doesn’t she know she would lose Reiner if he lost you? 

When you appear again, you’re in your comfy clothes—a big shirt and a pair of Reiner’s boxers. Your eyes are puffy, and as you sit down next to him, he can feel the heat from your shower still radiating from your skin. 

Reiner doesn’t say anything, but he does put his arm around you and tug you against him. You let him, leaning into his chest and clutching his t-shirt as the silence drags on until—

“It just feels like… something is wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Reiner is quick to assure you, resting his cheek on your head. “Or, like…” he thinks for a second and amends, “There are some things, but not wanting kids isn’t one of them.”

You let out something between a snicker and a hiccup, then swallow loudly, and Reiner can tell you’re teetering over your edge again. 

“Mom is just simple-minded,” he continues. “It’s not a justification or anything, just… you know. She doesn’t understand.”

“‘Cause how could any woman not want kids, right?” you scoff, voice getting thicker with every word. “It’s supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. Like… what women were made for or… whatever.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

“I do, I just—it’s like everywhere I turn. My coworkers ask about it, and my brother has his son now, and, like, all my friends have baby fever, and I just feel like—“ 

You sniff, shoulders growing tense, and then you’re burying your whole face in his chest and shaking. 

“I feel like I’m—like I’m just w-watching from the sidelines. Everyone is part of this—part of this fucking c-club, and I didn’t get the fucking invite as a kid.”

Reiner rubs your back, his heart thumping heavily in his chest because this is different. He’s held you while you’ve cried about disappointing his mom, but he’s never heard this particular confession. 

“I know a ton of w-women don’t wanna have kids, but I just—” you pause to suck in a shuddering breath then sob “—I feel alone.”

“I’m here, though,” Reiner reminds you softly, petting your hair with one hand while tightening his grip around you with the other. “I’m right here, baby.”

“I know,” you nod, “I know, and I love you so much, Reiner. It’s just like… I don’t even know how to explain it. Like people see me as wrong or stupid or naïve or something for not wanting them, but I can’t help it! I just d-don’t! And like, does that make me selfish? Does that—does that make me bad?” 

“Don’t be fucking stupid,” he says before he can think better of it, and when your fingers tighten in the material of his shirt, Reiner squeezes his eyes shut and backtracks. “Sorry, I just mean…” 

He moves slowly, pulling your face away from his body then guiding you to look at him, and he hates how your eyes are so red where they should be white, hates the wet tracks down your cheeks because, “You are so good. In so many ways. If you wanted to, I know you’d be a great mom. You’ve taken care of me for years, so…”

You snort, though it turns into a cough, then wipe your eyes with the palm of your hand. 

“But, you don’t want kids, and that’s okay. You shouldn’t be expected to. I know that, like, some aspects of the world still mirror history where women were only seen as child-bearers and housewives, but that’s fucked up.” As if you aren’t already well aware of that. “And, it’s not what I’m looking for in someone.”

“You don’t feel like you’re missin’ out or anything?” 

Reiner wipes away another tear with his thumb and shakes his head. 

“Not one bit. You know how much fucking money we can save without kids?” 

You laugh at that. Really laugh. So he keeps going. 

“You know how much time and resources we’ll have freed up to adopt dogs?”

Some of the light returns to your face, so Reiner feels better about pressing his lips to yours, unbothered by the salty taste. 

“Never have to fuckin’ worry about a kid walking in on us in the middle of doin’ the do.”

“No emotional scarring,” you huff with a smile. 

“That’s what I’m talking about.”

Reiner maneuvers you into his lap, and you let him, draping your arms over his shoulders and leaning against his chest as you nuzzle into his neck. He relaxes into the couch, keeps stroking up and down your spine, enjoying your weight on top of him. 

“We can stop visiting Mom if you want.” It hurts to make the offer, but it hurts more to know that the recurring conversation makes you feel like this. And, it’s not like he can’t just go alone. 

“I love your mom,” you argue, breath spilling over his throat and making Reiner shift on the cushion. “And, I know she means well. I don’t wanna just stop seeing her.”

“Do you wanna maybe sit down and have a real talk with her then? Like, we can really map everything out for her?”

You grunt in a way that indicates discomfort and ask, “You mean like… dining room table, us sitting across from her—”

“Box of Kleenex right in the middle ‘cause both of you will cry.”

You mutter a, “Shut up,” that Reiner is positive is paired with an eye roll, then bite his neck as if that’s some kind of punishment. 

“I’m just saying! You’re—baby, I’m trying to be mostly serious, and you’re kinda turning me on, so—”

He feels you smile before you let go, and Reiner takes a deep breath as he lets that sizzle in his stomach settle again. 

“Mom’s a cryer, and you’re a cryer, and honestly, I kind of am too, so…”

“Fine, I get it, box of tissues is a must.”

“Unless you just wanna leave it alone entirely,” he adds. “If you just wanna ignore her and keep going like we are, that’s also fine.”

You shrug, wiggling a little when he stops rubbing your back so that he’ll pick the movement up where he left off, then go boneless again. 

“I’ll think about it. Feel like sitting down and setting the record straight would be like… telling a kid they’ll never go to Disney World or something. Like, it’d just be crushing her dreams.”

“She’ll live,” Reiner promises.

“Yeah, but what if…” 

You go quiet again, but Reiner just waits, knows you’re getting lost in your head again. Maybe he should have let you keep biting him, given you a distraction. 

“What if they’re all right?” you question meekly. “What if I end up regretting it?”

Your bottom lip is pushed out as it begins to quiver, and Reiner can’t help but run a finger over it as he asks, “You know what’d be worse than not having kids and regretting it?”

“Hm?”

“Having a kid you don’t want.”

Your next exhale is slow and steady, a small sniffle following closely behind, and then you murmur, “Yeah, that’d be… that’d be really shitty. Like, my nightmare.”

“I know,” he tells you, nosing into your hair. “Fuck what my mom and your coworkers and everyone else think. We’ll do what’s best for us—for you. Like, we could be parents if we wanted to, but we don’t. And, that doesn’t make us lesser fucking people. I think it makes us pretty self-aware, honestly.”

“How impressive of us,” you hum. 

“Really is.”

Neither of you speak for a while, simply sitting and digesting. Reiner gets lost in the feeling of your heartbeat, waiting for your breath to stop shaking before he tries, “Feel a little better?” 

“Think so,” you answer. “Head hurts, though.”

“You’re probably dehydrated, baby. Here—”

Reiner scoots you off of his lap and stands up, making his way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He takes a couple sips himself, his body still a little tense from the conversation, but then he walks back to the den and hands you the cup, smiling fondly as you gulp it down. 

Empty glass placed on the coffee table, Reiner sits back down next to you, grabbing your hand and bringing your knuckles to his lips. 

“You are strong… and, you are beautiful… and there is nothing wrong with what you want or don’t want for yourself,” he says seriously, eyes locked with yours. “Moms are great. Chicks who want kids are cool. Gotta have ‘em, you know?” 

You laugh, and Reiner smiles before kissing the tip of your index finger. 

“But, your choices are valid too. And, if anyone tells you you’re wrong or stupid or whatever, just let me know, and I’ll beat ‘em up or… something like that.”

Your little giggle is like music to his ears, and you fall into his lap once again, arms snaking behind his back to wrap around him.

Reiner kisses your temple, voice low when he asks, “You know I love you, right?” Because he does. He loves you so much he sometimes can’t stand it. 

“I know,” you nod. “And, I love you too.”

Another longer kiss is shared, and Reiner thinks to himself, if he can just keep doing this forever—with you—everything will be okay. 

No one else has to understand you because he does, and he always will. 

[wallflowerimagines]

Hello! Um... I don’t really know how to start this but say I love your hc! I think you do a fantastic job on them, there all very sweet but being the s.o.b I am I’m here to ask for some angst. How would you think the lords act if their S/O died?

...I'm feeling mean. 😈

Warnings: Angst, Death, Horror Game villains making bad decisions/not coping with tragedy, suicide.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Denial, Denial, Denial

You can't be dead. There has to be something, anything that she can do to save you. Alcina scrambles for a solution, attacking the problem from all sides, despite the reality of the situation staring her in the face.

Immediately injects your body with Cadou in a desperate hope to save you. Any possible chance that he has to save you she's going to take it.

It's not likely that your corpse reanimates, but it does mutate. At the end of the process, what's left of your body hardly even looks like you anymore, and she can't bring herself to look at it.

She builds a gilded crypt for your body-- it's stunning. It's inspired by you, all your favorite colors, styles and hobbies are incorporate to make the room feel full of your spirit. Alcina is an artistic woman, and she throws herself into the project like she's possessed.

It might take years, even decades to complete. It has to be perfect. When it's done she feels accomplished, but twice as empty. It might be one of the most beautiful dedications she's ever made, but it can't replace you. She has the room sealed off with no way to get to it, so she can't be tempted to visit. She just needs a piece of of you still in her home, or she can't get through the day.

...If your corpse does reanimate, it's actually worse for Alcina. Whatever she brought back was a shambling, horrifying mess of mold wearing your face. It couldn't think for itself, or even follow commands--it just wanders in circles and attacks anything that gets too close.

She keeps your reanimated corpse in a cell, unable to bring herself to destroy it completely. Sometimes, she'll go down to the basement and talk to the thing like it is you, telling it about her day, having one-sided conversations and thinking of all the wonderful memories the two of you shared.

When its dead eyes meet hers, her lungs seize in her chest and tears gather in her eyes. Alcina doesn't cry often, but when your corpse meets her gaze she starts to sob. Those eyes used to look at her with life and love and now...

Still, she can't stop herself from visiting it. It's a compulsion she can't stop, and it tears open the wound every time, but some irrational part of her deep, deep down thinks that one day, she'll descend those steps and you'll be there to greet her with a warm smile.

In either scenario, she will never have another partner. You're impossible to replace, and she feels truly, genuinely empty without you. Rest well, Darling. You'll never be forgotten.

Donna Beneviento

There is such a thing as a last straw, and this is it for Donna.

Please remember: this is a woman who has lost everything. Mother Miranda might have given her a new "family", but Donna is not nearly as attached to these new members as she is to her original family. And the loss of her original family has shaped her in such a way that if you died? She would be absolutely devastated.

It's not fair to put this kind of pressure on you, but in a very real way you were her last hope for normalcy. She had all these plans to fix her family with you. You were so instrumental to her hopes for the future that now that you're gone, it feels like she has no hope at all. You were her missing link, her one true love, and now that you're dead...

Donna screams until her throat is raw when she finds out you're gone. Angie can't help her, nothing can. She just can't cope with reality anymore.

She'll build a life sized Doll of you to try to help herself cope, but the minute she tries to implant of piece of her Cadou in it, she is filled with such a vehement hatred of the thing that she starts scream-crying before she takes an axe to it's face and hacks it to pieces. How dare it pretend to be you?!! It's not even close to the real thing, she shouldn't even have tried--

She might try to induce a hallucination of you to help her get through the day to day, but it's not the same. She can't perfectly mimic your laugh, or your smile, or the way you tuck her hair away from her face. It's so obviously not you, and Donna is... alone.

I do hate to say it, but she will absolutely try to kill herself if you died. You were the one person who understood her, empathized with her, and you were her best friend. You were her support system, the one person who could carry her through the worst times in her life, but you're gone. Donna can't believe that anyone else could be there for her like you were.

Salvatore Moreau

Absolutely, irreparably broken.

When the two of you were in a relationship, you busied yourself not only with smothering Salvatore in all of the love and affection that you could, but you also did a lot to help his self-esteem and mental health.

You made sure he knew that he was loved, that you could never hate him, and even on your death bed you make him promise never to forget how wonderful he is.

Once you're gone, though, Salvatore cracks.

He clings to every bit of you felt behind. All of your jewelry, clothing, pictures and sentimental items are preserved to the best of his ability. Your living space is transformed into a shrine dedicated to you.

It's not healthy, but he also deifies you in his memory. Mother Miranda is no longer the only person that he worships-- the memory of you is now sacred to him. You become something holy and perfect in his mind's eye. It doesn't matter how many flaws you had in reality, your death has turned even your worst flaws into traits to be admired and praised. His perception of you is totally twisted.

Speaking of Mother Miranda, he regresses a lot. His adoration of Mother Miranda was something you were helping him work through, but now he's right back at square one, and even worse off than before.

Moreau can't make a decision on his own anymore--from what to say, to what to do, and sometimes even what to eat. After all, it's his fault that you died, isn't it? You were his partner and he used to be is a doctor. How could he possibly trust himself with anything when he couldn't manage to save the most important thing in his life?

To the rest of his family, he's more pathetic than before. His obsession with his Mother was usually limited to when she was in the room, but now it's constant.

If he ever hears the quote "It's better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all," he gets supremely, violently angry. No. No, that's not true, it's bullshit, how dare you even say that to his face.

If he hadn't loved you, you would be alive. He would be alone, but you would be safe. You would be happy.

Now he's alone, and all you are is dead. He can't ever come back from it.

Karl Heisenberg

Rage. Unending, earth shattering Rage.

Whatever killed you better start to fucking pray, because Karl Heisenberg will not quit until it's suffering.

He doesn't kill who or whatever it was. He let's it sit there, mangled beyond belief, and uses his knowledge of mechanics and biology to keep it alive in constant, unending pain.

It's cathartic for him, but not in a healthy way. The more he hurts it, the better he feels, but at the end of the day, you're still gone, and he's still alone.

He's... lost.

Heisenberg should be angry, fuck he wants to be angry more than anything, but the longer he keeps the thing alive... emotions seem like they're too far away anymore. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants... you.

He keeps something of yours in his pocket at all times, just to run his fingers over it and remember you. Your eyes, your laugh, your smile... It's almost like a stress ball, and these days sticking his hand into his pocket to wrap his fingers around the thing is the only way he can calm down.

Sometimes he turns to ask your opinion on something, or tell you a joke with a big smile on his face because this one is going to make you laugh for sure-- and then he freezes when the reality sets in once again. You're not here.

Remember, Heisenberg has idealized the two of you as this perfect partnership. You were the first person who looked at him and loved everything that you saw. You weren't just his first real relationship, the first person that he implicitly trusted, but you were also his very first real friend.

He wasn't the most friendly person to begin with, but he did get better because of you. He was still spoiled, a little socially awkward, and maybe his dark sense of humor would slip and get a little too much, but he grew as a person.

Now that you're gone, he can't even remember what it's like not being a cruel, empty shell of rage. All he has left is his hatred of Mother Miranda.

After a while, it doesn't matter if he's ready to take her on or not. He's going to face that bitch head on and kill her, or die trying.

If he wins, he's finally free. If he doesn't... that's not so bad either. Karl doesn't really believe in an afterlife, but there's something appealing about joining you wherever you might be.

[the-bau-quinjet]

hiii! i don’t know if you have done this but can you do a hotch x reader where they get kidnapped by tobias instead of reid? xx

4 Months

Warning: Criminal Minds level violence, drugs, torture, rabid dogs

Word Count: 3562

a/n: I decided to switch up some of the specifics, just to make it a bit more fun to read. I hope you like it :) Also, we're pretending Rossi was there bc he is really the father of the group and it fit better than having Gideon 🤷‍♀️

Masterlist

"JJ, we have to split up." You barely looked back at her, missing the nervous expression on her face as you ran toward the cornfield. "I'll take the field, you take the barn."

You slowed to a brisk walk as you neared the cornfield, raising your gun in front of you. You couldn't help but think about how pissed Hotch would be if he knew what you were doing.

You shook off the thought, knowing he would do the same if the roles were reversed.

Spotting movement, you moved farther into the corn, trying to spot any signs indicating which way Tobias went. A bent corn husk was the last thing you saw before the world went black.

-

"He's not a witness. He's the unsub." Hotch's eyes went wide as he realized you and JJ were there without backup. "Call JJ, now." He instructed Morgan, taking out his own phone to call you.

Hotch's eyes met Morgan's as both calls went unanswered. No words were exchanged as everyone ran out to the SUVS, putting on bulletproof vests as they went.

Hotch was nervously tapping the steering wheel the entire drive to Hankel's house. He couldn't stop replaying your last conversation.

"Y/N, you and JJ go talk to Hankel. Find out if he saw anything." Despite his stern expression, you could tell his eyes were smiling at you.

"Sure thing." You nodded, mouthing 'I love you' before turning to JJ.

That's it. He didn't even have the chance to mouth it back. JJ would've seen, and even though the team has theories about your relationship, you haven't confirmed anything yet.

He pulled into the driveway, running up to the house, gun out before anyone could stop him.

Prentiss followed Hotch, Morgan and Reid took the left, Rossi and a local cop took the right.

They tore through the house, clearing it with fierce determination, but came up empty.

"It's clear." Rossi called, joining Hotch and Prentiss in the living room. "Where are Morgan and Reid?"

Hotch spared a glance out the window, discovering the barn likely being cleared by the missing agents.

Everyone ran out of the house, arriving outside the barn just as Morgan and Reid lead a distressed JJ outside.

"What happened?" Hotch questioned, glancing over JJ's shoulder into the barn. Clearly you weren't there, but he needed to hope.

"We split up. Y/N went into the cornfield... I had- I had to shoot them." Her voice was detached, eyes glazed over.

"The dogs." Morgan clarified, leading JJ to a paramedic.

"Dammit. The house is clear. No sign of Y/N or Hankel." Hotch ran a hand through his hair, trying to clear his mind. The worry was nearly overpowering, but it wouldn't help find you.

The sheriff approached, removing his hat. "A deputy two towns over gave directions to a man matching Hankel's description. He's headed for a hunting lodge."

Morgan nodded to Prentiss. "We'll check it out."

-

Your head was pounding. A vile scent reached your nose, causing your eyes to flicker open. You flinched at the closeness of the man in front of you.

"Tobias..." The name slipped out in a whisper.

"They're not here. It's just me now." He stated, calmer than you would've expected.

"Who are you?" You asked, trying to portray a fake sense of calm.

"I'm Rafael." He pulled out a revolver, adding a single bullet to the six chambers.

"No. You don't have to do this." Your heart ached, fear gripping your body as he aimed the gun at you.

"It is my duty to enact God's will." He said, right before pulling the trigger.

-

Hotch pulled back into the driveway, leading Garcia into the house.

"His computer setup is in there. If there's even a hint of where they might've gone, I need you to find it." Hotch gestured to the back room.

Penelope nodded. Carrying her own computer bags, she followed Derek into the depths of the house.

"What've we got?" Hotch questioned those remaining around the table.

"He knew he could throw us off, pretend to be looking for a hunting lodge." Emily spoke quickly.

"We've got piles of information, journals, notebooks. We're still sifting through it all." JJ added, shirt still bloody from yesterday.

Just then, Reid rushed in from another room. "The walls in the bedroom, they are covered in the latin phrase 'honora patrem tuum', honor thy father."

"Garcia, look for anything you can find about his father." Hotch gave out orders, but his focus was elsewhere. What was happening to you?

"Over here!" Morgan called from outside.

The team ran around the house to see Morgan opening a cellar door. Nodding slightly, Hotch and Morgan made there way inside.

"Tobias Hankel, FBI." Morgan shouted, receiving no answer.

They quickly found the dead body of none other than Hankel's father. Even the new information did little to calm the worry brewing inside of Hotch.

-

"Confess your sins." He ordered.

"My sins? I don't have any sins." You did your best to hold back the tears, trying to figure out who you were talking to.

"Everyone has sins. Confess, and you will be forgiven." He stared you down, waiting for a response.

You simply shook your head, mouth slightly agape. The smell was getting to you. You couldn't think straight with the pain in your head.

"I- I don't know what-"

"YES YOU DO. CONFESS." He hit you, whipping your head to the left.

-

"Hotch, he took drugs to escape. Dilaudid cut with a psychedelic." Emily relayed the information her and JJ got from Tobias's sponsor.

"We've got something too. The dates in his journals don't add up. He was talking about his father as if he was alive months after he killed him."

"His father beat him, preached about sin." Emily replied, putting the pieces together alongside Hotch.

"Split personality. Profile the father. He could be the key to finding Y/N." Even just saying your name he felt his heart clench.

-

"Who are you?" You questioned him as soon as he walked through the door, trying to figure out who you were dealing with this time.

"Tobias." He moved about the cabin almost nervously.

"Who was here before?" You knew Rafael, but the other personality was a mystery.

"My father." Definitely the most violent. He was who you had to look out for. "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

Tobias looked over you newly forming bruises before pulling off his belt.

"No. No what are you doing?" You felt your heart rate increase as he wrapped the belt around your arm. You could barely register the words he was saying, something about escaping from the pain.

"Please. I don't want it. I'm fine." You begged, tears brimming your eyes. He ignored your pleas, injecting the drug into your bloodstream.

Despite how much you hated it, you felt the relief he was talking about. The pain was gone, even if just briefly. You thought about your time spent with Hotch. It didn't feel like long enough. You wanted more. You had so much you wanted to do with him.

"Aaron..." You mumbled his name between kisses. "They could see us." You did little to stop him, despite your words.

"We should tell them." He whispered against your mouth, holding you close. "They would be happy for us."

You sighed blissfully, forehead pressed against his. "Really? You know they've got a pool going to see when we'd finally get together. Who do you think had money on 4 months ago?" You laughed into his neck, pulling him closer.

"My bet's on Rossi. He knows us both too well." Aaron smiled, a full genuine smile.

"You're probably right, but just to make it interesting, I'm betting Reid. He's too observant not to have noticed." You squinted at the window, knowing Reid was staring at the closed blinds on the other side.

That earned a laugh, one you could feel in his chest pressed tightly to your own.

"I love you." He kissed your head, content to hold you for a little while longer.

"I love you too." You leaned ever farther into him. "We can tell them when we get back from this next case."

"Deal."

-

"Get in here!" Reid called from the computer room, pointing to a screen where you were being broadcast. You were handcuffed and tied to a chair, clearly beaten.

"Pick one to die." The voice of Tobias could be heard, despite him not being visible on the screen.

You shook your head, staring into the camera. You wanted to plead for Hotch to save you, but you knew it wouldn't be fair. He didn't need that on his conscience.

"Choose one, and I will free another."

You shook your head again, trying to think of a clue you could give the team. "I won't let you hunt them like a poacher."

"Now. Or I will kill them all." He threatened, lifting you from the ground.

"I'll pick who lives." You stuttered, breaths coming fast and short. "The right screen."

You were forced to watch as he turned off the camera, leaving the screens to show the heinous murders he was about to commit.

Suddenly, Rossi was talking to you through the screen. The sight of him nearly brought you to tears.

"Y/N. This isn't your fault. None of it. You can't blame yourself. We will find you, but I need you to be there when we do."

You knew exactly what he meant. You were already blaming yourself, despite Rossi's father like relationship with you, it was hard to believe him.

It did give you the strength to remember the team though. You needed to see them, all of them, again.

-

"He's back!" Morgan called everyone in to view the screens again.

"Confess your sins." They watched as he beat you.

You cried. You begged him to stop. You begged Tobias for help, but nothing worked.

Hotch felt his heart break even more with every word.

Suddenly, you were on the ground, still tied to the chair. You were seizing, Charles Hankel watching as it happened.

The screen went dark, causing Hotch to punch the desk.

"Dammit." He shouted. He didn't care if his worry was beginning to poke through the surface. He needed to find you and he needed to do it now.

"The timestamp." Emily's voice drew him out of his head. "There's only a few minutes between the time of death and when it was posted. He's got to be close to the crime scene."

Finally. Something that felt like progress.

-

They watched the screen as you appeared again.

"Choose one to die." It was Rafael this time.

"I can't. I can't do it." Your face betrayed every emotion you were feeling inside.

"Pick one." He stated again.

"Me. Kill me." You nearly begged.

"You said you weren't one of them. Your team has 7 other members. Choose one of them to die."

You shook your head, fear gripping you once again as he pulled out the revolver.

"Choose." He connected the gone to your forehead, resting it there.

"No." He pulled the trigger, watching as you flinched.

"Choose." You shook your head, tensing as he pulled the trigger again.

Hotch felt his heart in his stomach, internally begging you to just say a name. He couldn't watch you die, not like this.

"Choose." He pulled the trigger yet again at your silence.

"I won't do it." You held firm, knowing you had limited chances.

"Choose one to die."

You opened your mouth, panting as an idea came to you.

"I choose... Aaron Hotchner." Your heart ached even saying it, but you needed to give him a clue. "He's a classic narcissist. Thinks he's better than everyone. He'd go to his grave knowing he was wrong." You winced internally, trying not to give away your plan.

Hotch left the room, trying to understand your words. The two of you had just argued about the definition of classic narcissism.

"I think you're wrong." You laughed at his amused expression.

"Yeah? Or do you just like making me exasperated?" He questioned your motives, pulling you closer as you laid in bed together.

"Maybe a little bit of both." You shrugged, leaning up to kiss him. "Promise me something?" You asked, a nervous expression on your face.

"What?" He looked at you with so much concern, you felt your heart beat a little faster.

"If... If I die, you can't blame yourself." He opened his mouth to protest, but you kept going. "I know you Aaron. You'd take it to grave thinking it was your fault. I can't let you do that. Not when I know you blame yourself for Haley's death." You felt your heart break for him and the pain he had been through. "Promise me." You were nearly begging.

"I promise." He whispered, his throat tight at the idea of losing you.

He was brought back to the present by the sound of Rossi's voice.

"Hotch, you know Y/N didn't mean any of that." Rossi tried gently, unsure of how Hotch was coping with your situation.

"I'm not a narcissist. What's my worst quality?" He looked at the apprehensive looks everyone was giving him. "I'll start, I have no sense of humor."

He nodded along as his team listed his faults.

"None of you said I ever put myself above the team, because I don't. Y/N and I just argued about the definition of classic narcissism." He paced, trying to put it together. "I'd take it to my grave... Grave was a hint."

"What? How do you know?" Reid shook his head, trying to understand the logic.

"I made a promise. It's a long story." He shook his head, trying to clear the memory so he could focus. "Y/N knew I would remember it."

"A cemetary. It's got to be a cemetary." Morgan added.

"No cemeteries on the map." Garcia was typing away on the computer.

"Like a poacher." Reid whispered, staring at the screen.

"Reid?" Hotch looked at him, eyes pleading for an answer.

"That's what Y/N said in the first video. 'I won't let you hunt them like a poacher.'" He said it louder, more excited than before.

"Garcia, any reports of poaching in the area?" Hotch asked, the idea of finding you causing hope to erupt in his chest.

"Yes, at Marshall Parrish... and there's a cemetery on the grounds." She gave them the address, watching as they ran out to the SUVs.

-

"I'm sorry." Tobias said it so softly, you were almost certain you didn't hear it at all.

"Wh- why?" Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion, trying to make sense of it.

"He'll win. In the end, he always does." He rose from the crouched position, slowly injecting you with more drugs.

"Hotch!" You screamed, feeling arms restraining you from behind.

You watched as he went into the hostage situation, unarmed and without a vest.

"Derek. Let me go!" You struggled in his grasp, straining to get free.

"There's nothing you can do, he's already inside." He stated the truth, although it did little to calm your nerves.

You settled down, throat tight with worry. You bit your lip, eyes flitting between the door and windows. You just needed a sign, anything to say he was alright.

The sound of a gun firing stunned you. You were frozen in place, fear consuming you. You had just told him you loved him for the first time this morning. What if you never get to say it again? What if that's all the time you got.

You stared in horror as everyone ran toward the house, only to freeze when a voice shouted everything was fine.

"It's fine." He huffed, carrying the small child out of the house toward a waiting EMT. "Baxter is dead."

"Aaron..." You whispered the name, realizing how powerless you felt when he was in danger. The two of you made eye contact across the yard, a reassuring look in his eye.

"Aaron..." You whispered, blinking rapidly as you slowly came to.

"What about Aaron." Charles. Tobias's dad was back.

"I couldn't stop him. I couldn't keep him safe." You muttered to yourself, not fully understanding the situation.

"Is that a confession?" He asked, voice hard.

"Yes." It was more of a breath of air than a word, but it was all he needed to condemn you.

He unlocked your handcuffs, forcing a shovel into your newly freed arms before dragging you outside.

"Dig." he instructed plainly, watching over you as stray tears wet the ground beneath you.

-

"Clear." Morgan called from one side of the shed.

"Clear" Hotch replied from the other. With the whole team in the small space, it wasn't exactly necessary but it was habit.

Hotch could feel his nerves picking up again as he realized this meant you were still with Tobias. He paced back and forth, feeling powerless.

"Spread out. They have to be on foot." He left without waiting for a response, turning left with JJ to look for you.

-

You did your best to stall, but Charles wasn't the most patient.

"Dig faster."

"I'm trying. I'm trying." You whimpered, movements speeding up ever so slightly. The massive knife in his hands causing your own to shake.

"You're weak. Move." He huffed, throwing his jacket to the ground before ripping the shovel from your hands.

A flash of light in the trees caught your eye. Flashlights. Your team. Aaron.

Your eyes flickered between the man in front of you and the trees, causing him to turn.

You took the split second he wasn't looking to grab the gun from his jacket, swiftly aiming it as he turned back to you knife raised.

"Only one bullet in that gun." He lunged for you, falling backwards after you pulled the trigger.

You dropped the gun, quickly tossing the knife away.

"Tobias?" You cried, moving back toward him.

"You killed me." He seemed surprised, but grateful at the same time.

You felt the tears pouring down your face as you apologized.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry." You grabbed his hand, watching the light fade from his eyes as he asked one final question.

"You think I'll get to see my mom again?"

You barely registered the arms around you, pulling you to your feet. You couldn't take your eyes off of Tobias. He wasn't the one who hurt you. He helped you, or at least tried.

"I killed him." Your breathing picked up, vision blurring.

"Y/N, look at me." You turned to the voice, blinking rapidly to stop the tears.

"Aaron?" You took a stuttering breath, trying to make sure this was real.

"I'm here. It's okay. You're okay. You're safe now." His words were just as reassuring to himself as they were to you. You caught JJ's eye over Hotch's shoulder, quickly moving to hug her.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I never should've-" You cut her off.

"None of this was your fault. It was my idea to split up. I'm so sorry." You cried into her shoulder, knowing how guilty she must've felt.

She hugged you back, tears brimming her own eyes at seeing you alive again.

She lead you to the EMT, not commenting on the look you threw over your shoulder at Aaron. He quickly followed you to the ambulance. JJ left you to talk to Hotch, who stayed beside you the entire time the medics looked you over.

"I didn't mean it." You said when you were finally alone, sitting between the open doors of the ambulance.

"What?" Aaron questioned, his mind not following your own train of thought.

"When... When I had to choose. I didn't mean any of it." You could feel the tears coming, but this time you did nothing to hold them back.

"I know. I knew the whole time." You brushed your tears away, looking you in the eye. "I love you so much." He whispered, his own eyes feeling watery.

"I love you too." You leaned into him, relishing in the feeling of his arm around you. You couldn't help but look over at the team, all of whom quickly pretended not to be watching. You huffed a laugh.

"Yeah, I think they're going to have some questions." Hotch smiled, glad to see you happy even if just for a second.

"After this case, right?" You looked back at him, confirming you still wanted to share your relationship with the team.

"Deal." He smiled, arm tightening around your shoulders to pull you closer.

-

You couldn't help but bring it up on the jet ride home.

"So, who had money on four months ago?" You questioned, tucked into Aaron's side on the couch.

"What?" Emily raised a brow at your sudden statement.

"That's when we started dating." You grinned at her shocked expression.

"Dammit Reid." Morgan huffed, handing over the money.

"Don't forget Rossi!" Reid high fived the older man, the two grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Looks like we were both right." Hotch smiled into your hair, trying to hide his laugh.

"Yeah. We make a pretty good team." You smiled, leaning into his touch.

"I love you." He murmured, face still in your hair. You turned your face into his chest before responding.

"I love you too."

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan

[mystic-shadows42]

Billy Russo Imagine: Secrets

“Why didn’t you tell me Frank’s alive?” Billy’s accusing tone rang in the silent air. You had just opened the door and locked it behind yourself when you felt a lingering gaze at your back.

If you weren’t trained as you were his presence would have frightened you but this was Billy. He was your team leader on the Cerberus Squad. He was your friend before anything else, protected you being the only female surrounded by a bunch of men, and always the one to have your back when others doubted you.

You exhaled turning around in the dark room he was sitting in. So he had finally come to know the truth.

After Operation Cerberus, you made Billy swear not to bring it up ever again along with there being no secrets between you both. He made good on his promise until he didn’t. He hid something big from you and in return, you kept something from him.

Billy reached over and turned on the lamplight in the room. His eyes were peering into yours. There was no softness in them, only a hardened set staring back.

“Sit down and answer my question.”

You knew better not to challenge him when he gets like this though usually, you were the one witnessing his interrogations. His eyes followed as you sat down across from him.

“It wasn’t my place to tell you.”

He made a face none too pleased at your answer. He leaned over his knees and interlaced his fingers together.

“So you just thought lying to me would suffice?” He let the silence filter through the air. He continued to stare and squint all he liked but you’d give nothing you wanted to away. “We had a nice chat today and you can imagine my surprise when he mentioned you knew this whole time. I thought we understood each other better than that?”

You chucked at his question. He raised his eyebrows at that not expecting that type of reaction out of you.

“You���re so self-centered Billy. Frank didn’t even like it when I found out so I figured he wanted it to be kept under wraps and I respected that. Especially, after what he went through. What you had a hand in.”

He cocked his head at the revelation. This whole time he pegged you a fool. You were part of his and Frank’s unit but under Billy’s command. You were observant to those who surrounded you, Billy being one of them.

From what you overheard and what you saw Billy didn’t have much growing up. Not that it mattered what he had. He always seemed like a genuine person who was always determined to get on to the next big thing. When you all went home going your separate ways you hadn’t heard much from him besides a random text here and there.

Then there was the call. 

Billy sounded so proud of his company Anvil and wanted you to work beside him so you did. You didn’t question how he was able to pull it off when you should have.

You knew his success simply didn’t appear out of thin air. A part of you desperately hoped it was out of pure luck but that simply was too good to be true.

Billy was one for getting his hands dirty if it meant he could have something in return, that being wealth.

“Why stick around, if you knew?” This time when he spoke his voice was softer. Less harsh than before, knowing that you two knew something the other hadn’t until now.

“Because I thought maybe you’d at least try to make amends, but that’s just not you Billy, is it? You’d rather take until there’s nothing left. You just don’t care who you hurt in the process.”

He leaned back in his spot straightening his posture. Clearly, you struck a chord. His hand clenched into a fist.

“I did what I had to to survive,” he defended.

“Look what it cost Frank?!”

“I know what it cost him! Frank’s my brother. It wasn’t an easy decision to make.” His eyes were wide with anger. You believed that he cared for Frank but it wasn’t enough to stop what took place.

“If he was your bother you wouldn’t have allowed ‘that’ to happen to him.”

You held each other’s gazes. It was astonishing how he could be angry with you when what he did was so much worse. Frank’s family was killed because of Billy’s greed.

“So you’re willing to blame me for it?!” He stood up abruptly running his hand through his hair putting it in disarray. He turned his back to you as he paced the hall. 

When he finally calmed himself he took long strides to the spot you were at so you stood up too.

“I couldn’t protect you both! I had to choose one so I chose you.”

His deep breaths fanned over your face. His declaration made you hesitate. Why did he choose you over Frank? You didn’t think you were worth it if it compared to Frank and his family. You can take care of yourself. If someone wanted you dead then you’d try your damndest to fight cause it was only you.

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

You moved away from Billy not wanting to be trapped against the wall with no means of escape if he tries anything.

“You didn’t need to. I made that decision and I don’t regret it. Take it as you will but I did it with good intention. You were pardoned because of me, but Frank was always the one you’d sacrifice your life to follow, huh?” He spoke condescendingly.  “What is it about him that makes people wanna flock to his side cause it sure as hell isn’t his attitude?”

Billy squinted his eyes at you waiting for an answer but you knew whatever you had to say, he wouldn’t like. Frank was a respectable man who didn’t need what Billy had to be admired. He was humble and prided himself in doing what’s right after the shit that went down in Afghanistan.

“You should go Billy.”

He looked down at the floor, lost in thought. He showed so many emotions in a matter of minutes showing you just how unstable he truly was right now.

“If it comes down to it, can I rely on you to be on my side?” You visibly swallowed. He knew your answer but asked anyway. He sniffled, lifting his chin to appear kempt. “So that’s it then? After all, I’ve done for you?” He looked angry but by the slight break in his voice, you knew he was hurt beyond anything.

Had he not been involved with Rawlins then this wouldn’t have happened. Too much had been done. Now you were doing damage control and part of that mess involved Billy right smack in the middle of it. He had lost his way and there was no going back.

A tear fell from your eye before you could brush it away. At the sight of your watery eyes, Billy’s began to water too. He was trying to mask it but it was there, the hurt.

“I may not have it in me to hurt you physically, but if it’s Frank you so dearly care about then I’ll just have to rid of him myself.”

Billy made his way to the door with you chasing after him.

“You don’t have to do that Billy.” You tugged on his arm making him turn around pulling away as if your touch stung him.

“No, you don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do. You’ve made your choice.” He sneered pointing an accusatory finger at you as he tried putting distance in between. His chest heaved and his eyes had that dark look in them. 

He was going for blood and there was nothing you could do to save him this time.