#i have one main hospital in the entire center of it

[crossbackpoke-check]

bring a friend home today! adopt, don’t shop 🐶@metroitdetroitanimals 6.28.2022

[agoodflyting]

Good Omens Historical Trivia That's Haunting Me Today...

So we all know A.Z. Fell & Co is located on the fictitious Whickber Street in Soho and was established in 1800.

Aziraphale has run the shop ever since then and was in contact with Crowley at least until the 1820's when they took their little jaunt to Edinburgh and Crowley got sucked down the tube slide to Hell. They meet up again no later than the 1860's, when Crowley asks for Holy Water.

Stands to reason that between the 1820's and 1860's Aziraphale was in Soho doing Aziraphale things. Running his bookshop. Eating tiny cakes

Yeah... you know what else was going on in Soho during that time?

The worst cholera epidemic in London history.

If you don't know, cholera is a deadly bacterial infection caused by drinking contaminated water. Prior to the 1850's humans weren't really sure what caused cholera, but they knew it was terrifying and also that it was absolutely epidemic in big cities.

TW: this is gross - The main symptoms of cholera are agonizing stomach pain and non-stop watery diarrhea, eventually leading to the skin turning blue due to the thickening of blood from severe dehydration. Patients can lose more than 20% of their body weight in hours as they quite literally evacuate every drop of water in their bodies until they die of heart failure. - OK gross part over

Cholera symptoms show up as short as 5 hours after infection and could kill within as little as 12 hours. Cholera was especially terrifying because of how quickly and painfully it killed you, and because the patient maintained mental clarity up until the point of death. More than half of the people who contracted cholera died within a few days after consuming the bacteria-contaminated water.

And guess what water had cholera bacteria in it?

The public water pump on Broad Street in Soho in August of 1854

And this wasn't one of those epidemics that starts slowly and drags on. It hit like a bomb. It killed 600 Soho residents in ten days.

That's roughly 60 people a day in a 3-4 block area. Most of them died at home because the disease struck too quickly for them to to make it to a hospital. Survivors described hearses stacked with coffins 4-5 high going down the street nonstop all day long during the outbreak. Entire families were wiped out overnight.

What does that have to do with Good Omens?

Aziraphale's book shop was right in the epicenter of this outbreak.

Neil Gaiman has been pretty free about the fact that Whickber Street is a thinly veiled expy of the real Berwick Street in Soho.

This is a famous map showing the 1854 Soho Cholera epidemic. I highlighted Berwick Street and the public water pump that was the center of the contagion. The black bars (I circled a few in blue) on the map designate deaths. The thicker the black bar, the more people died in that particular house.

51 people died the week of the cholera outbreak on Aziraphale's Street alone.

Cholera was one of those diseases that provoked a lot of panic, not just because of how fast and painful it was, but because of the way it didn't follow common conventions about class or age. Children died while the elderly survived (often because the elderly had no one to gather water for them). Lower class houses were spared while their middle class landlords died. Churches were packed that week, because people in Soho had no idea who would get sick next. The epidemic pretty much burned itself out in a week and a half, since by that point everyone who drank the water had already died. I have to wonder what our resident Angel was up to during that time. Obviously cholera can't hurt him, but that's his neighborhood. There's no way hundreds of people, including entire families with children, are dying painfully in his neighborhood and Aziraphale doesn't notice. That means that in between this scene:

And this one:

Aziraphale would have watched one of the worst disease outbreaks in London history play out right outside his front door. I feel like there's great potential for a good story there if anyone better than me wants to write it.

[disillusioneddanny]

The Story of Us - Chapter 1.

Bruce Wayne stared over the prone body of his closest friend, his hands clasped behind his back. “What happened?” he asked, looking between Clark Kent, Jon Kent, and Conner Kent as they all lay upon the hospital beds not moving, barely breathing.

The doctor looked over at him and sighed. “We don’t know. There was a fight with Lex Luthor and something happened, he infected Clark with something and it must have been contagious because it spread to both Superboys,” she said softly, standing up from where she had been crouched before the heroes. 

“Do we have any idea what it is that infected them? Or how to fix it?” Batman asked gruffly, still staring at one of his closest friends. 

The doctor shook her head sadly. “No, we do not.”

Bruce nodded his head and left the hospital room. He soon found himself in the conference room surrounded by the Justice League Dark and the main members of the League. 

He looked at the large screen behind him and let out a breath. “Yesterday at eleven forty-five in the morning Superman engaged in combat with Lex Luthor where he sprayed a strange red substance at Superman. From there, he found himself without his powers, his wife reports that he had developed a cough as well as a fever. From there he spread it to both Jon and Conner who developed the same symptoms. Lois called us this morning to inform me that none of the supers were waking up. We don’t know what is causing this illness and we aren’t sure how to fix it.”

Bruce looked at the main team of the Justice League first. “I want you all to start looking for Lex Luthor, turn over every rock, every stone until you can find him. Bring him here as soon as you do so that we can find out what he knows. Justice League Dark, I want you all to start looking for a cure as soon as possible. Do whatever it takes to find something that can fix them.”

“Bats,” Constantine said from his seat, blowing out a lungful of smoke. “I may know someone who can fix the supers.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “And who would that be?”

“I’ve heard whispered about a healer, but we’ll have to trade for his services. I don’t know what exactly he is, rumors say he’s a demon from another realm,” Constantine winced at that. “Not an evil demon, mind you, but a demon nonetheless.”

“What would he want for a trade?” Bruce asked, crossing his arms. 

“We’ll have to summon him first,” Constantine said and Zatanna gave him a nervous look. 

“You sure? If you’re talking about who I think you are, he’s the most powerful healer. But he was prominent in the War for the Infinite Realms. He isn’t someone to mess with,” Zatanna said softly. 

The Infinite Realms had Bruce’s ears pricking slightly. He hadn’t heard those words in twenty years, not since Danny had left to fight in the war. Not since they had fallen out of communication with one another. It hadn’t been something either of them had planned to happen. 

Danny had gotten pulled into the war, Bruce had gotten dragged into the role of being Batman. Bruce knew he was half at fault, he had never reached out. He had become too consumed, first with being Batman and then he had adopted Dick, and then Jason, Tim, Cass, Duke, and Damian had all come along and they had become his entire life. 

And Bruce assumed that whatever Danny was out there in the Infinite Realms doing, he was busy too. Maybe he’d have to see if that old summoning line still worked, even after twenty years of nothing between them. He shook himself out of it. 

“Beings of the Infinite Realms usually will tell you what they want when you summon them,” Bruce said. “Go ahead and summon this healer. We can see if they are willing to make a deal with us.”

“You know about the Infinite Realms?” Constantine barked out. Diana looked between the two with a frown. 

“What is the Infinite Realms?” She asked curiously, her brows furrowed. 

“The Infinite Realms is the center of all dimensions, it’s what keeps the multiverse connected,” Bruce told her. “It’s also the land of the dead, it’s where realms like the Fields of Asphodel, Heaven, Hell, Paradise, all reside. The main beings who reside there are known as ecto-entities, more commonly known as ghosts. The United States of America used to have acts in place called the Anti Ecto Acts that declared them non-sentient monsters who needed to be destroyed. One of the first things I did as Bruce Wayne when I had taken my mantel was overturn those acts as they violated meta-protection laws. I know of some of the beings there but the only healer I know of is a yeti named Frostbite.”

Zatanna shook her head. “This guy is much stronger than Frostbite,” she said and looked up at Bruce. “They call him the Great One. We can summon him, give me some time to find the correct sigils but we can summon the Great One and see what he’s willing to trade to fix the Supers.”

Bruce nodded once. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Let me know when you’re ready. I will be in the medical bay until then.”

With that, Bruce stalked off to stand vigil over his friend until the others could find a way to contact this Great One and see what he could do. 

Tim looked up from his seat beside Conner and frowned. “How did Lex even make this stuff? Do we even know what it is?” He asked, brushing hair out of Conner’s face. 

“There has to be a way he even found a weakness such as this. What could he have done? How could he have even found something that could hurt them so badly?” Damian said from beside his best friend. “Not only that but how will this affect Conner and Jonathon? They are not full-blooded Kryptonians, not like Clark. We can see that by how their symptoms were not as severe, yet they are also comatose,” Damian murmured. 

“I don’t know,” Bruce said with a sigh, taking a seat beside his son in between Jon and Clark’s beds. “I don’t know but we are hoping to get some answers. The Justice League Dark are summoning a healer that is known to be one of the best. I am hoping that they will have some answers,” he said. 

“I can’t lose another friend, Bruce,” Tim said quietly, his head bowed as he rested his forearms on his thighs and stared at Conner. “He’s my best friend.”

Bruce just nodded his head and looked at his own best friend, knowing exactly how his son was feeling. 

It was three hours later that Zatanna came in with a small smile. “The summoning is ready,” she said. “From John’s research, he might not even demand a trade for his services. He seems to be more benevolent than we thought he was.”

Bruce nodded and looked at his sons. “Let me know if there are any changes,” he said quietly. 

The boys nodded and Bruce quickly followed the magician down the hall to the large room where the summoning was taking place. 

A large sigil had been drawn on the ground with chalk, different symbols in a large circle. Bruce watched as Zatanna sat before it crossed-legged and Constantine lit the surrounding candles. 

“Great One, we are here to ask for your assistance,” she said before slipping into a language that Bruce had not heard in a very long time. It had sent him down a path of nostalgia as he heard the ghost speak. It was unlike any language he had ever heard, Danny had spent hours trying to teach him the language when they were teenagers. Danny had said he was so-so at speaking it but he had learned enough of the language to at least understand when others were speaking it. 

Bruce listened as the magician asked for The Great One to grace them with their presence and watched as a swirling green ectoplasm vortex appeared in the summoning circle and a loud pop sounded in the room. 

Once the ectoplasm cleared away Bruce blinked a few times at the figure in front of him. 

“Phantom?” 

check out the master list here for all chapters <3

[peachedtv]

Re-Fucking-Venge

﹂ Yandere!Dabi x Nurse!Reader ‘Come dance with me in hell, won’t you, Father?’ And boy did Dabi fucking mean it. Poor little you to have been his next ledge to mindfuck his father to shards. 

﹂Genre: angst, toxic relationship, slow burn, 18+

﹂ Warnings: AFAB, female pronouns, Kidnapping, non-sexual hair pulling, paralysis, angst, drugging, profanity, descriptions of panic attacks, violence, slight horror, insults, broken family dynamic (both Dabi [duh] and reader's),

﹂ WC: 6.67k

﹂ From Redact: this will be continued! My motivation sucks so I'll try to promise a regular schedule.. I first posted this story at 2k words, then kept editing back to get it up to 6.67k, so I'm reposting it to let the people see the final copy incase yk. If you wanna be on a taglist tell me !!! I'd love to have one

Honestly, everything's turned into a fucking mess.

After the absolute devastation of Dabi’s theatrical exposing of Endeavour, your workplace was swarmed by furious citizens and questioning paparazzi. They were angry. So fucking angry. Angry for the fact that Endeavour had such cruel impositions on his children, angry that his actions caused the root of such a murderous villain, and angry at the fall of heroes being ironically unheroic. Day or night, their anger wouldn’t stop. The continuous flashing lights of cameras, the synchronized yelling, and the fists that shook in the air. With the mantra of harassment towards your hospital, one would think you’re caring for number one himself—the one Dabi framed as the center point for his villainous roots, the one who did most of the hurting. But, no. You weren’t caring for Endeavour. You were the main nurse for his wife, Rei. And that's what truly ticked your soul.

It absolutely baffled you. Why were such a mantra of citizens harassing a regular person? Can’t they properly think that if Dabi’s speech pointed at Endeavour, it’s mainly Endeavour’s doing? Article after article, you started to understand that many hard-luck Endeavour fans were convinced that the abuse Dabi had forsaken was all Rei’s fault.

‘She’s manipulative.’

‘What a fucking gold digger.’

‘No wonder Endeavour had to take out his anger on his children.’

Yet who was the one in psychiatric care? Are these people truly blind to the obvious victim here? It made your blood boil.

You kept Rei under your loving care for years. As someone who had their own fucked up family situation, you felt for her since her admission oh so many years ago. You knew who she truly was, and so, it made you enraged that these strangers yelled at her as though they’d known her all their ignorant lives. As if they had the entire situation figured out when even Endeavour had his own twisted narration of what happened. People believe what they want to believe, and you began to understand that. People protect what and who they wish to protect. It did not matter how morphed and wicked the twists on their perceptions may be—as long as they can justify themselves. As long as they can justify the wrong.

And so, here, Rei was not the object of the crowd’s protection. She was the embodiment of their malformed justifications. The receiver of their hatred, the one to hear the garbage and clunk of cans thrown against her window.

It’s during a time like this that you’re truly brought back. Brought back to the Rei who first arrived. The Rei who was constantly in a fight or flight response. For the first few weeks of her stay, she wore a horrid expression of absolute dread. Her eyes truly had no spark, and her body felt empty of any soul. She always looked down, her chin tucked near her chest as she zoned out into a singular corner of her room. Many of the doctors and nurses complained to the head, saying she was too much for our hospital to handle. Whenever someone merely grazed her arm while cleaning her room, she would scream out in horror—thrashing about as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Thus, when nurse after nurse had quit being her caretaker, finally you came up to the chopping block, and you had heard a lot about her. Of course, none of which was positive.

‘She’s fucking insane.’

‘That woman makes me want to quit.’

‘Thank god I got switched out.’

‘Goodluck, Y/N, you’ll need it.’

When you first saw her, the barrier you had about yourself slipped. No, you didn’t see a manic woman, nor did you see some form of a psycho. What you saw, mesmerized you. You were entranced. She was truly beautiful. Her white hair gently framed her face, while the sunlight in her room had a cold, blue hue, that you didn’t feel was present anywhere else in the hospital. She had the aura of an apathetic beauty, a flower that was plucked - for even wilting roses had their charm. Her eyes, though, those wonderful eyes. You could tell her deep irises once held the spark of happiness, the spark of hope and care. Yet now, her eyelids hung low, dark circles beneath her lids dragging her visage lower, and her posture as an enervated slouch. It was in that moment when you first laid eyes on her did you truly see who was deep inside the shell of her abused being. She brought you back, brought you back to who you easily could have become—shown you who you would’ve been had you not fought tooth and nail against your resolves. And so, determination flared inside of you. You will help her. You will bring back her spark. No one should fight so alone against something a crowd can’t handle. Thus, even if you’re the only one by her side, you will still be there.

It had taken a couple of months for you to barely disarm her violently defensive walls, but you managed. You always knocked on her door before entering, peering through before stepping into the room. You set up a small stool by her bedside, and every time you came to her you would sit down before getting to your medicinal caretaking. You’d smile, greet her warmly, and tell her silly stories about your day. Tales of the warm old man across the hall, of those pesky UA kids that couldn’t help but fight a little too hard for others. You would go into detail after detail, eyes dancing across the empty walls as you lightly laughed at the memories or clicked your tongue at some of the peskier ones. Although she never responded, you made sure to speak to her every single time.

Furthermore, you were careful, you truly wanted the best for your patients, and she is no different. You were careful when you delicately held the flowers’ stems as you poured in fresh water. You were careful when you gently told her everything you would care for before doing it. ‘I’ll be checking your heart rate, is that okay?’ You’d smile, not even grazing her arm before a sign of confirmation. And it was these careful things you did for Rei that truly made her love you too. Soon, she began to speak. Her voice was delicate and raspy, as she hadn’t used her vocals in such a long time. But still, you smiled at her. Tears welling in the corners of your eyes as you listened to her very first request for a glass of water. Progress is progress. And you were determined to continue it.

From her vaguely written patient file, you had an idea that her husband was the main factor in her descent into your care. But, you were horrified once Rei trusted you enough to spill her heart's deepest sorrows—all caused by her husband. She cried, and oh how her tears fell so quietly it shattered a piece of you that you didn’t know was there. After she began giving you one-worded answers, to replying in whole sentences, her walls soon came down and a woman desperate for help and comfort revealed herself. It broke your heart remembering the number of overtime shifts you’ve spent merely hugging her while she gripped your scrubs. Her arms desperately clinging to you for any minuscule support, her body trembling in the fear that you’ll give up and leave her just as the other nurses did. Those silent tears fell, her muffled cries making you wish you could take away her pain if only for a minute. Every night, that was the scene between you two. And every night, flashbacks of her husband’s cruel words yelled at her from the silence only she could hear. Not only as a nurse, but as a human being, you truly cared. And Rei could feel that sincerity, thus, you two grew close.

Even after Rei exponentially improved, you still tried your best to give her some kind of comfort she could cling to in the emptiness of the hospital’s blank walls. You were so proud of her. She came so, so far in her healing process. And your soul smiled at the thought of her gentle nod whenever you entered her room—she had the misfortune of a hundred lives, and didn’t deserve a single crumb more of difficulties.

So why did fate have the tv running that day?

You ran to her room, the blaring of her EKG racing your mind with worry. It had been long, too long, since her heart raced so. You had gotten used to her health, to her improved state, so how the hell did this happen? When you burst through the door, Rei was slumped on the ground with her hand clawing into her chest as she hyperventilated, her eyes wildly ajarred as her gaze stuck to the screen with tears swelling the corner of her ducts as her lips fell apart in these broken attempts of communication.

'-was born as the eldest son of Endeavour.'

‘Rei! Breathe, breathe, I’m right here for you. Please, what happened?’ You held her comfortingly, rubbing your palm in circular motions upon her back. God, how did this happen? Sorrow wretched your soul when she began to cry harder, frantically looking from the floor before her and the screen upon the tv. She shoved you away with as much force her could muster, you stumbled slightly back, in absolute shock. It had been a while since Rei had a any miniuscle of violence in her outbursts—let alone having an outburst in the first place, and it broke your heart to wonder why it was happening. You could tell her conciousness was slipping from the rapid breaths she choked to take, how her movements became more sluggish. She began to scream, her hands tangling into the hair on the side of her head as she knelt with her face to her knees. You reached into a nearby cabinet, taking a deep breath as you thrashed around the contents until your fingers wrapped about a minor sedative. It pained you, you haven’t had to go to such measures in so long. Your hand firmly on her shoulder, you told her everything was going to be alright before injecting the sedative and keeping your comforting words. 

'I was created for my father's selfish dream.'

‘It’s okay, I’m right here. Don’t worry about a thing, Rei.’ You spoke gently, and her eyelids began weighing down to shut, before she looked deep into your eyes and whispered: ‘T-tell him I’m sorry.’ Your eyes followed her as she tried to look towards the tv. Upon the screen, a man was sitting upon a vintage couch. Throughout his body, horrid patches of purple plastered his skin, barely holding onto his stature with the use of staples, you could see the dip in his surviving skin and the bruised purple from the awful staple job on his body. It looked so painful your skin tingled in discomfort. With such a blatantly iconic look, how could you not recognize the man himself? Dabi. His hair was a messy black, his chin picked up toward the camera, and a darkened gaze of determination and resentment filled his eyes—a stare that would pierce the soul of any viewer.

'-my father would force my mother to give birth to more off-spring.'

How long had his voice been playing in the background? You stared, stared at the TV. You listened, listened to Dabi apathetically recall every horrifying detail Endeavour put his pitiful children through. The same details that had you shaken to insomnia at night when you first heard it through Rei's exasperated cries during her mental break downs. It was awful, Endeavour's actions were horrid. The neglect, the abuse, his cold demeanour, hearing both Rei and now Dabi recount those awful memories made you realize just how cold the air about you became as well - a sudden contrast as though your physical environment darkened from the heavy words Dabi spoke out about. You felt their pain, but you know you could never truly understand it. Not until you had gone through something the exact same, and even then, everyone processes trauma differently. Thus, empathy is such a golden key. The very key that had your shocked visage brim with tears. There wasn't a hint of pain in Dabi's voice, not yet, at least. Yet, you knew that years before, and deep inside his battered body, Touya was will trapped. Crying, begging, trying to crawl his way out. You saw a reflection of Rei in Dabi. The reflection of someone who was in pain but built these sky-high walls to hide any form of vulnerability.

‘Using the blood Endeavour left at the fight in Kyushu,’ his hand propping up a document, ‘there was a 99.99% match.’ 

Truly, it took a while to understand what you heard. Your eyes carefully traced the screen, ears perked up in denial as Dabi described every moment that Rei had described to you. Endeavour, the pain, the abuse, the screaming, the yelling. He recalled it with an absent look of apathy glazed across his face. His eyes reflecting that of an apathetic beauty. A look you recognized from the Rei who first walked into your care. If it weren’t for his unforgiving injuries, he would have been a splitting image of his mother. As you gazed upon his grotesque features, his lips mouthed the same name of the son who Rei prayed so desparately for the return of.

Yet you don’t think her prayers were answered in the best way.

You stared holes into that screen, watching his careful movements, scanning the paper Dabi held in his hands, as you watched his mouth moved it was in that moment that you realized you couldn’t hear. A ringing was blaring in your head as the only sensory you had left was that of sight. Your vision tunnelled, the sides of your perception clouding into black as you silently watched Dabi continue to expose that wretched hero who caused his dear family such tremendous misfortune. Dabi was the same Touya Rei cried to you with gulit over for all these years. The same Touya whos only remains found was a jawbone from the burning forest he died in. The same Touya who fell apart for the sake of his father’s dreams.

How isn’t he dead? It didn’t make any sense. His jaw, how was his jaw found without the rest of him? How had it come off? How did he survive the temperature of those flames being enough to cremate someone alive? Your eyes watched the screen, watched Dabi’s speech continue, that ringing spiking a headache of throbbing pain. Nothing made any sense. And you put your everything into focusing upon the scarred man on the screen so why did this have to happen? Rei was doing so well, it’s not fair, why did this have to happen? She doesnt deserve this to happen she had trued so fucking much. She didn’t deserve this, she was barely healed–

‘Miss Y/N! Is Mrs. Todoroki okay?’ 

Your coworker’s voice snapped you back into reality, and you stammered an apology before carefully placing Rei into her bed and turning off the tv with shaking hands. From the expression on your coworker’s face, you could tell they saw the footage aswell, their eyes nervously tracing to the ajarred cabinet door to the sedatives, understanding the regress in Rei’s stability from this entire situation. 

Sadly, Rei’s instability wasn’t as fleeting as you had hoped. It didn’t take long for Rei to fall apart into the hole she fought so hard to climb out of. With the mantra of angered ex-Endeavor fans accusing her of child abuse, along with the constant paparazzi that flashed bright lights toward her window and posted her tear-struck face all over tabloids, you couldn’t blame her. For days after the incident, you refused to sleep. Staying by her side as she couldn’t rest at all. Although a hospital never sleeps, it still quiets at twilight. But no, not anymore. For even night didn’t tire the fucking protestors. They screamed out, police desparately trying to control the situation, although they were smart. Hugging the gates, not actually on the property of the hospital. Thus, the police couldn’t pull any legalities on them. 

You never left the hospital anymore, every break and after your shifts, you would sit at Rei’s bedside. The aura was both somber and panicked, darkened with the occational sniffles and choked sobs of Rei’s rasped voice. Unlike the usual, you did not speak. You knew the voices in her head had come back now, and if you added your own, Rei wouldn’t be able to hold out any better than she already is. So, the only thing you knew to do was to never leave her alone, and her arms never left your back. You held her in an embrace every night, neither of you sleeping, neither of you talking. Slowly, she began to loosen her hold, gently sleeping a couple minutes a night with her chin resting on your shoulder. Your heart lit with hope, glad she could finally sleep a wink. Before long, she was truly able to fall into a decent slumber, her body resting against yours for a couple hours before she would gasp awake. Slowly but surely, improvement had come. And once Rei’s sleep schedule returned to some extent, you traveled back home to your apartment for the first time in over a week to gather your own well-deserved rest.

You wish you could say your return brought some comfort to you. But truly, the silence was eerie to say the least. Your mind was still worried. Worried that Rei would wake up in the middle of the night, all alone without you there. A part of you missed her already, but your boss became truly worried for your health after the bags under your eyes darkened into a bruise like hue. She demanded you at least go home for a night, and you relented. Truly, your body was giving up, and you needed the rest too.

Your keys twisted inside the lock as you pushed the door open, a familiar creak welcoming you back. You did not feel very welcome. The air was a piercing cold, with all the lights in your apartment off. The fact that it was late into the night did not help, with both an absence of light in your home and no twinkling stars to gaze upon. Everything was pure dark. You sighed, dumping your bag lazily by the door as you kicked off your shoes, taking heavy steps toward your room when you stopped. You stood still, so, so still. From the crack below your closed bedroom door, light bled into the dark hallway. You were scared, truly. You never leave the lights on before leaving, so what was happening here..? Why were the lights on?

A sense of dread filled your body, and you listened carefully. Nothing. No rummaging, no gentle thumps of someone’s steps, just the rays of light dauntingly brightening the floorboards and that white noise of ventilation. Quietly, you walked backward toward the front door, taking shaky breaths as your lungs quivered. You should’ve stayed with Rei. You shouldn’t have come. With how little sleep you had gotten, your mind felt as though you were floating. And obviously, you struggled to form any kind of rational thought about your current predicament. Despite that, you did have one thought. The thought that you must leave. Immediately. You didn’t care for your belongings, your jacket, nor your shoes and keys. All you cared for was to get the fuck out. 

Every pore on the wall felt as though an eye was peering through, watching your pathetically fearful movements. Shivers spiked down your spine and every dark crack of any open door had an imagined silhouette peering through, faces tauntingly smiling to you through the dark. You were panicking.

Your hand gripped the knob, turning it slowly to stiffle it’s persistent creaks before you flung open the door to bolt outside. Your mind raced, breath hitching as steps slapped upon the cement. As you approached a corner, you turned your head back as you kept running—fully expecting the door to fly open and a figure to chase behind you. You couldn’t imagine why you had to have some burglary occur. You didn’t live in an exceptionally poor or rich area, and there were blatant security cameras throughout the building. The more you watched your back, the more you felt a little silly. Nothing came, and you nearly slowed down your bolt as a light chuckle of relief fell before your mouth. You’re safe, your apartment was safe. There’s no threat in your room, obviously, you must’ve forgotten to turn off the lights. You turned the corner as your bolt slowed into a jog. Yet, your momentary relief was short-lived the moment you roughly crashed into something in front of you.

You fell back, falling hard onto your ass with your palms scraping against the unforgiving texture of the floor. Gravel stung, digging into your open skid marks. Athough, that pain was nothing compared to the strike fear over who stood before you. 

The very man upon your tv screen those days before.

The very man who single-handedly wrecked the top two heroes.

Dabi.

He looked down at you, a sickened gaze and smirk plastered over his graphic features. He looked manic, and he was manic. The way he demeaningly leaned down to you, hands dug deep into the pockets of his black slacks, the way he cocked his head to the side, it all made your throat starkly dry. 

‘Why the long face, Y/N?’ You internally gagged, your name sounded so vile on his tongue, in the way his face stared at you with hatred. How does he know your name? What does he want? You stared up at him speechlessly, your jaw falling silent and eyes dropping wide with horror. Your mind raced in confusion. Jumping from one false hope to another, trying to relieve your fear that you might not survive this encounter. Your only connection with Dabi was as the nurse of his mother, was he extrapolating some revenge against her? But why? Endeavour had been the main perpetrator of the abuse, so why are you being dragged into this so mercilessly? You couldn’t think clearly, but you did know one thing. Both of you well knew Rei had barely anything to do with the harm Touya had endured. Yet, here he was. Newly born as Dabi, as the Dabi who stared down at you as though you coddled his worst enemy your whole life.

His hand shot toward your collar, the fabric ripping at certain ends from the sheer force he used to drag you closer to his face. Your hands grappled at his wrist, fingertips digging into his hand before your force hesitated when you latched right onto his staples. You were scared. You were really, really scared. The way his smile grew wider in response to those pathetic tears that welled in your eyes, the way he held you so tightly your windpipe felt as though it was burning in pain. You felt misjudged. Thrown into an undeserving cruelty that you hadn’t even sinned enough to deserve. But obviously, why would a villain care about whether or not you deserved their violence?

‘Why are you so scared? I’m only here to thank you.’ He quirked, eyes wide as he laughed at your pathetic expressions of fear and struggle. ‘You won't die, so don’t be too dramatic.’ He smiled, yet, you didn’t feel comforted. Heck, a part of you here realized how much you wish you could’ve died at this moment. Was living through whatever he was about to put you through better than hell itself?

‘You took care of my dear old mom ever since I left, comforting her all those nights, helping her recover from Mr. Number One.’ His grip tightened, your collar bunching up into his palms, harshly wheezing your throat as you struggled to breathe. You knew no amount of fighting back was going to drain him down to stop. Dabi had you stood completely upright, right up on the tip of your toes as he held the majority of your body weight up by your neck, still leaning forward to truly yell into your face. Even without the threat of his quirk, you’d never stand a fucking chance against him with how he towers over you. You could tell of the venom Dabi had in his recalling of your care as his mother’s nurse, his pupils dialating in fury. Had he felt things were unfair? That he hadn’t had the help Rei needed when he felt so much worse? You tried to be empathetic, trying to find a way so you could make it out alive. But the more Dabi tightened his hold on you, the more you realized you wouldn’t be getting out of this unscathed—far from it, actually.

‘I’m here to repay you. You know? You spent so many years caring for her, so I’ll repay your act of kindness.’ His voice dripped in sarcasm, venom seeping through as his spat out to you right in your face. Suddenly, his expression morphed, his smile churning so wide the staples holding his smile  together began to rip at the corners of his mouth. ‘You know, that stupid woman isn’t the angel you keep treating her to be. Haven’t you seen little Shoto Todoroki? How do you think that scar on his precious face came to be?’ Your breath hitched as his grip tightened, your throat completely wrenched into his lone palm as heat began radiating through his fingers. Don’t listen to him, you told yourself. Rei messed up. She’s wasn’t the best mother. But no one helped her victim until she became the abuser. Shoto didn’t deserve that, neither did Rei deserve the cruelities of Endeavour, and nor did Touya deserve a crumb of the pressure he underwent. Can’t he understand that nearly everyone in this situation is some form of a victim? You felt frustrated trying to hold your tongue back against this man. He was blinded by rage, a rage that began rationally and morphed into something villianously sinister. It made you feel frustrated. He pitied himself too much. Everyone was struggling, Shoto and Rei too, so why was he so upset with you helping someone who needed to be helped?

‘You people disgust me. You save whoever the fuck you want, but leave the people who really need it out to burn up in a forest.’ You shook your head, shutting your eyes tightly in denial to his cruel accusations. You wanted to yell. Yell how stupid his words were, how tunnelled his thinking was. Dabi is being selfish. Yet, despite your anger, you were still striken with fear. You understood you were in no place to speak your mind, yet your words just spilled out in a frenzy.

‘You’re so linear.’ You said shakily, furrowing your eyebrows and trying to wrench your windpipe out of his grip so you could just barely breathe. ‘Rei was hurt too, she’s n-no angel, but she’s not such a demon either.’ You spoke quietly, but considered how you were choked up into the air it was remarkably impressive you could even get a peep out. Dabi seemed to only become amused, an upset form of amusement. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mainly from the physical agnoy, but moreso now that his palm began to luminate blue and heat up.

You were going to die over your fat tongue.

Your crying only seeming to fuel him even more as his smile ripped even wider. ‘I’m sorry— I didn’t mean it badly–‘ You panically wept. His eyes narrowed, a sense of absolute euphoria over the position of power he had. He felt so cocky, you know? He just ruined two of the top heroes’ careers and now he’s taking away the only support and comfort from his shitty mom. His revenge has just fucking started. He nonchalantly dropped your body onto the floor as he adjusted to stand straight. You crumbled to your knees, your hands flying to your throat as you wretched and coughed out. Your neck was painful to the touch, throbbing as you felt the bruise of his grip develop. Suddenly, he knelt down to one knee, looking at you with an unimpressed expression. 

‘Don’t be so fucking dramatic. Be grateful you’re alive.’ He spat, his tone unforgiving. You sobbed, trying your best to sniffle your crying as you bit down on your lip and shut your eyes tightly—too stuck in horror to look at whatever the fuck your current situation was. From the fear of death you just had, you nearly wanted to thank him for sparing your life. Your hands violently shaking as you refused to look up to him, parts of you begging that this was all some bad trip. Suddenly, he laughed. He began to laugh, growing louder and more insane. You stopped breathing, opening your eyes to see him heaving in absolute exhilaration. 

‘Don’t do that,’ He was profoundly euphoric, ‘you’re reminding me too much of how I cried to dear old Endeavour. What, are you trying to send me down memory lane?’ He finally calmed down a little, smiling at you as you knelt before him, fucking speechless. Your relief was immediately drowned out in the panic of what he was trying to do. He reached out, shoving his thumb into your mouth and forcing your jaw open. Taking his other hand, he forced two fingers down your throat without a shred of care. You gagged, grabbing his wrist and digging your nails into his skin as you felt a pill sink into being forced down into your body as he kept his fingers deep in your throat. Eyes wide as you tried to fight him off, jaw stiffening as you prepared to bite down on him. He stared you down warningly, his breaths deepening and hand warming on your jaw. You sobbed, relenting and loosening your grip on his wrist, shutting your eyes tightly. You felt a tear gently trickle down your cheek, it felt warm against your face. But not as warm as the threatening hand on your neck that wouldn't hesitate to burn. Dabi let go, standing up as you coughed out, feeling the pill stay stuck deep in your throat as you tried your best to ignore it. He lazily dragged his hand across your face, wiping your spit off his hand. You started to cry. Sobbing as quietly as you could as you heard. You could tell he was truly annoyed, clicking his tongue as he took heavy steps away from you - but still keeping a close enough distance to burn you alive if you tried to run away. You felt frustrated. What had you done to deserve this? What did he drug you with? Your panic made you hallucinate awful symptoms of the pill. The world began feeling dizzy, your head becoming light, ad your thoughts racing drunkenly. Although, rationally, you knew that you hadn't even digested the pill yet, so you tried your best to calm yourself down before the pill's effects would truly take place.

You didn't realize Dabi had taken his space between you two to take a quick call until he hung up, shoving his phone deep into his pocket before he looked back to you with a bored expression. 'Are you done crying?' He was annoyed. From the expression of apathy and boredom on his face, he resembled a tired dad sick of his children throwing a tantrum over every little thing. The way he looked down at you felt demeaning, and you felt your body shrink a little down into the core of your bruised heart. You wanted to stand up, your legs numb from being forced down to kneel this entire time. Yet, the fear you held over being burnt from any sudden movement kept you scarily still.

'Get up.' There wasn't a shred of care in his voice, but from the way he tangled his fingers in your hair, dragging you forward by it until you were knelt up awkwardly by his side like a dog, you weren't surprised by his verbal violence. Let alone his physical violence. You grabbed his hand, trying to ease the burning pain against your scalp. It felt as though your hair would rip from the root if he pulled just a little harder. Your eyes darted around, confusion to why he propped you up to him so closely. Was there some threat? Was something about to happen? You felt your heart pounding through your blouse, so loud it resonated inside your head. But, it didn't matter how much your scalp burned in pain. It didn't matter how your palms were still scraped open from your initial fall. It didn't matter how you had roughly fifteen minutes before that pill would digest. What did matter was that by the end of those fifteen minutes, you needed to be away from him and whatever he had planned for you. As though Dabi sensed your change in mood from fear to determination, his hand began to heat up.

'If you want to die, go ahead and try what you want. If not, stay down like the trash you are.' You felt the hope you built up crumble, maybe it was from Dabi's words. But mainly, it was from the literal crumble of the ground and roads in front of your apartment building. The way the earth caved in on the infamous stone-like creature that bulldozed through half of Japan—Gigantomachia of the League of Villians. His body was confined down so his brutish face was mere feet away from yours. His eyes were a glinted yellow, so much so they didn't resemble eyes in the slightest—moreso like large fragments of amber-filled or gold his sclera. You watched in horror as large rubbles of the road slipped down Machia's spikes, cracking their area of impact once they fell. Light after light turned on in your neighboring apartments, people opening their doors with pissed-off expressions darkened with eyebags. Looking to curse out whatever fool decided to make such a loud fuss in the middle of the night. Unsurprisingly, as the beast merely turned his head in their direction, and person after person ran out of their homes in wide-eyed fear.

Dabi rolled his eyes, unimpressed at their pathetic attempts at an escape. He raised his palm, flames bursting out from the center as screams of pain erupted. You stared in horror as the people you'd politely smile to every day burnt up before your eyes. You didn't plan it. Your arms reached up and grabbed Dabi's forearm to pull it down into our chest. You cringed when the flame lightly skimmed your shoulder, yet our grip on his arm remained iron. You refused to let people die right in front of you.

'What the fuck are you doing?!' He yelled, his flames dissipating as you watched a minuscule bunch run away safely. Dabi shoved you hard into the ground, glaring down at you in absolute annoyance. Yet you returned his glare, looking up at him with resentment. 'Fine, you wanna die? Go ahead.' He aimed his palm in your direction, a twinge of flames hurling out. Without a doubt, you were scared. You were scared of dying, scared of never seeing your loved ones again, and scared of the sorrow your death would cause. You hadn't had the impact you wished to have yet, yet here you were, about to die before barely making a dent of meaning in your life. But in that fear, you felt angry. Angry that you were being relentlessly harmed over helping someone who needed it, angry that Dabi would mercilessly burn the innocent without hesitation, and angry that he was mad at you over trying to save them. He was so unreasonable.

'God! Can you quit it?! I understand your pain, and I understand where you're coming from. But those people aren't Endeavour, Rei, or whoever else you hate! They didn't do anything to deserve being killed over, just like you didn't do anything to deserve what you went through as a kid. So why are you hurting them?!' You glared at him, adjusting your posture so you were sitting upright, a hand soothing the blistering burn on your shoulder. His flames fizzled out, and you saw his eyes widen. He was silent, still. As though for both of you, time stopped. You heard desperate steps fade away into the background, rubble from Machia falling upon the grass, and the sizzles of Dabi's flames eating away the fresh corpses that littered the scene about you two. His expression was apathetic, you couldn't read him. Yet, you felt his mind racing, before his palm picked up and slapped you, hard, right across your face.

'You understand me? Is that what you fucking said?' He was absolutely livid. You could hear the absolute anger in his voice, yet a soft smile spread across his lips. Your cheek felt stung, warm, and you were absolutely speechless. For some reason, him slapping you across your face felt more painful than the burn on your shoulder and the scrapes on your palms combined. It was the way he looked down at you. Down at you with absolute fury, as though you were a senseless fool. 'Don't you dare say you understand me when you haven't gone through what I did.' You could tell he wanted to kill you in that moment. You flinched when he reached out to you, expecting this to be your final moment. Instead, he threw you over his shoulder and jumped onto Machia's back, being dragged away to god knows where. You looked up to his face, catching a glimpse of his thumb wiping a droplet of blood from the corner of his eyes before wiping it onto his sleeve. Did he become injured? Or was that a common occurance? Truly, you shouldn't care. He had just battered you, violently dragging you upon the back of a rocky beast, and yet here your nursing instincts slapped you across the face to anaylze his aid.

Quickly, your brief confusion, or worry, for Dabi fell apart as you realized your legs couldn't feel the aggressive breeze of the wind against it's skin. You fought to move, to adjust your stature, yet you felt as though your nerves were burning, fighting against an invisble force that kept you scarily limp and still. Your heart began to pound in your chest, heavy breaths shaking your lungs as you nearly began to weep over what awful drug Dabi had foresaken onto you earlier. You felt constrained, uncomfortable, a distant tingle of pain tracing about the entirety of your skin as you tried to fight the stunt in your lower half. Your legs. Your legs were paraylzed. Your mind raced a mile a minute, heart dropping deep into your stomach. This isn't fair. It's not fair. You felt as though your life has fallen so far you couldn't even hear it's impact on the floor so down below. No resonating echoes, nothing. And that nothing was not at all what you deserved. You hand quivered, tracing across your shin to your thigh. It felt as though you traced your hand on another body, or a piece of your body that was no longer attached. You were disturbed, trying to keep your sanity together as your temples and eyes burned with frustrated tears. It wasn't until a tear hit your thigh, and you didn't even feel it, did you truly begin to break down.

Everything is a fucking mess.

[merrysithmas]

re: nursing & Nurse Chapel in SNW @ Paramount/the fandom

new trekkies have begun to notice that Nurse Chapel eventually becomes a doctor in TOS canon. i'd like to challenge the stale (and rife with outdated sexism) misconception of that event with a more modern lens that hopefully SNW can retcon...

Christine does not stop becoming a nurse to become a doctor. She can be a doctor AND a nurse.

A DNP (clincial doctor of nursing practice) or nurse phd (researcher) or nurse educator/researcher (phd). One of my main issues with TOS canon is how they made Chapel "upgrade" from a nurse to a doctor which is extremely outdated and inherently insults the field of nursing (implying medicine is a hierarchy which it isnt - and SNW does a good job showing the partnership btwn mbenga &her). Most nurses never venture into physicianship but instead pursue doctorates in their chosen field: nursing. Because they want to be nurses.

I hope this is one thing they retcon and make clear she is a clinical doc of nursing (who have all the same diagnostic/prescriptionist responsibilites as a doctor of medicine) or some other variant of doctor of nursing.

Christine likely became a nurse because nurses have diff freedoms (and a closer patient relationship) and can expand to work in innumerable specialities - as nurses are trained as multi-specialty healthcare providers - whereas doctors are more limited and stick to their specialty. She chose to be a nurse because she wanted to be a nurse.

People choose nursing over becoming a physician for MANY reasons - and let me tell you, it's absolutely 100% not because the doctors are more intelligent lol. Nursing is a multifaceted field which consists of myriad opportunities, learning experiences, specialities, 1:1 patient connections, and freedoms that a physician will never have. Nurses can work in an ER, OR, Labor and Delivery, community health center, an herbalist shop, someone's home at their bedside, and research lab all in the same week. Physicians cannot do that - they have various legal and technical limitations (still a great field, but different).

Nurses are a medical jack of all trades - that is what Christine is.

An accurate portrayal of nursing is hardly ever shown in modern media which either erases nurses entirely (see House or ER or any other medical show), or sexistly mischaracterizes the field and ignores that nurses are hard scientists who partake in research, war, and can attend up to 10 yrs of schooling in their specialities (more than an MD). Not to mention that it is nurses who train in and learn the practical knowledge of medicine (injections, sterilization, IV admin, patient positioning for expelling mucuous, suctioning sputum, etc - doctors do not train in practical medicine and if they do they do not practice it).

If you are at the hospital and you have a head nurse and a physician resident making a call - guess who is going to have the last word. It isn't the doctor. And that is a respected norm.

It is thrilling to watch as Christine participated in research, engages in community outreach, joins fellowships, continues her education, assists surgery, diagnoses patients, engages in war and Starfleet, and cares at the bedside.

The old fashioned notion of "just a nurse for now" is about as stale as some of the sexist/misogynist concepts in TOS - and Christine is a GREAT example of a modern nurse character, highly accurate, and SNW would do well to correct further misconceptions of the field by making her an example of a Doctor of Nursing.

As far as I know, being a trekkie forever, they never stated what kind of doctor Chapel was - perfect opportunity.

[lost-technology]

I was alerted to Trigun Fanfiction Appreciation Week! I have recs! It's Cinco de Mayo and I am full of tacos. Let's roll! Roleswap The Purple Hyacinth bouquet of stories by @somereaderinblue Summary: A universe in which Vash was born as the first Independent Plant and it is Tesla and Nai who are the twin-siblings. Other characters switch roles as well - Luida and Rem, Livio and Wolfwood, each retaining their unique selves. The symbolism of the purple hyacinth and little details like Tesla's love of lemon-cake really make this. Tesla is a rougher kind of heroic desperado, being more nuanced, rougher and less absolutist than Vash, making for an amazing ride. (The first tale, centered on Luida and little Vash, though, will break your heart). Canon-typical violence and abuses of children and science. General AU Sun, Moon and Stars by @tragic-unpaired-electron Summary: At a crucial moment, Rem does something crazy to save baby Tesla and the entire universe changes. What follows is the saga of the Saverem family - mothers, daughter, sons, a more hospitable planet, but not without social and political challenges for Plants to gain legal personhood. This had me hooked like a thrill ride, beginning to end. One of my absolute favorites in the fandom. Each and every character has a realistic, organic change stemmed from this one pinpoint. (Nai doesn't go genocidal for example, but has points where he could have gone dark and has reasons to choose a better path). Treat yourself and read this! Canon-typical violence. Conrad being particularly a bastard. For my fellow Rem-enjoyers Out Cold by Miricals Summary: Vash, Wolfwood and the girls find themselves sheltering in an old crashed escape ship they found with coldsleep capsules still running on half-dead solar power. Guess who they find. Some sadness with unnamed characters' deaths, otherwise no warnings. Accidents Happen by exai_lostjune Summary: Set in the 1998 anime / first anime only. Rem finds out that crewmate Steve has been beating her kids, not just being bigoted in speech. She beats his ass with a crowbar. That's it, that's the fic. Little Plant Twins get protected by their Mama Bear, Steve gets what he deserves. In-Series / Main Timeframe Let the Ransomed be Free by SpiritusRex Summary: Wolfwood and Meryl impersonate a pair of rich-bitches to get into a auction attended by all of the planet's worst billionaires. Their mission? To find an extract a certain Vash the Stampede, who is up on the auction block as a slave to the highest bidder. Shenanigans ensue. Canon-typical violence / un-fun use of a cattle-prod on our poor Vash. Just Follow My Yellow Light (And Ignore All Those Big Warning Signs) by haveloved Summary: In the aftermath of Vash getting hurt, Wolfwood notices that Meryl hasn't eaten. Milly usually helps her remember to eat. Just a little story about self-care and others-care. Canon-typical violence. WTF? Aaaah! Why did someone write this? / are people going to look at me weird for reading this? Aaaaaaaah! Horror. Sin Eaters by @dragonofeternal Summary: There is an old tradition Vash read of once wherein a ritual meal is consumed to absolve the sins of the deceased. Livio, however, was Wolfwood's first friend and does not intend on letting Vash dine alone. BIG WARNING HERE! This was written for Trigun Body Horror Week. NOT for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach! While I think this is the best story to come out of Trigun Body Horror Week... it is... just that. This one's for gore-fiends - outdoes canon.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

At this point, this is barely a TAZ AU. I'm kind of just making my own shit up.

Explaination for what the fuck this comic Means under the cut - spoilers for The Adventure Zone: Balance arc!

So. The big Reveal of TAZ is that our main characters were a part of an inter-planar expedition that went horribly wrong. They were chased by the apocalypse (The Hunger) for a hundred years across different planar systems, as it attempted to consume a power known as the Light of Creation. Anytime they failed to retrieve the Light of Creation from a planar system, the Hunger would devour that entire world and all of it's inhabitants.

They realized that if they split the Light of Creation into 7 different parts, they could effectively disguise it's power from the Hunger, and finally find a permanent home. So all of the crew members made a powerful magic item called a Grand Relic from their part of the light.

The plane they did this plan on had a lot of similarities to their home plane - notably, some of their relatives and other people they recognized existed on this plane. This was just a lampshade to explain why one of the main characters cousins had been important to an earlier arc.

Magnus Burnsides created the Temporal Chalice, which allowed the user control over time itself. He entrusted this relic to the small desert town of Refuge, after receiving hospitality from the elder of Refuge and his daughter June, who he called 'Junebug'.

Anyway, all of the crew get their memories wiped and forget all about this, yada yada, I can't get into explaining all of TAZ this post is long enough already.

So 12 years later, the three main guys get recruited by their former crewmate (who they forget existed) (because of the memory wiping) to reclaim all of the Grand Relics, so that they can be combined into the Light of Creation once more.

They find that the town of Refuge has been stuck in a time bubble for quite some time. Time is loopy and strange there, and nobody has been able to get in from the outside world in some time. They go into the town, they die at 11 AM, they wake up inside the town at 10:05AM, it's a timeloop and shenanigans ensue.

Everytime they die, they see an old woman holding a cup who gives them advice. Also, there's a statue of Jack and June and a mysterious figure known as the 'Visitor' in the center of town.

Eventually, they find that the little girl June has been wielding the relic in the underground mines for years - she keeps the town on a timeloop to prevent it from being destroyed by a giant purple worm.

They manage to coax the relic from her, defeat the worm, and restore time to it's natural state.

In the aftermath of it all, June gives Magnus a sketch of the original design for the statue in the center of town. A sketch which reveals what y'all already knew, because I told you a couple of paragraphs ago: Magnus was the mysterious visitor who came to this town and gave them the Chalice.

OKAY. NOW TO COMBINE ALL OF THIS TO TALK ABOUT RUBEN HOPCLAP. Bet you almost forgot.

So... I was coming back around to the idea of "your relatives from your home world might still exist in this plane". And I was thinking about Henry Hopclap, my beloved. And then I was wondering what that would mean for Ruben. Originally, I thought 'oh well, maybe Henrys sister/brother/whatever died and didn't have a kid'. But then I was possessed by these visions.

So, picture this: Ruben Hopclap needs to find somebody to take care of his relic. And he goes to this town... and he sees his uncle. Who he hasn't seen for a century. And his uncle is carrying a tiny baby gnome.

His sister died in childbirth, Henry tells him. Maybe this happened to Ruben's own mother. Maybe it didn't. Either way, it's... a lot to process.

The baby doesn't even have a name, he learns. Henry knows he has to name him eventually, but it just feels wrong. His mother should have been the one to name him.

As Ruben takes all the precautions to ensure the safety of his relic, he bonds with Henry. This guy isn't really his uncle, and he sure as hell isn't his nephew. But it's nice. They form a mutual respect.

As Ruben prepares to leave town, Henry remarks that Ruben is a nice name, isn't it?

And then he gets his memory erased, and a decade passes. And he's in this mission to this town, and he keeps hearing about the kid named Benny who died in the mines. And he keeps seeing this old gnome everytime he dies, who looks like he could be his grandpa, almost.

And then time goes back to normal. And he sees Benny as a little 10 year old, with an unnatural shock of white hair from all of his time using the chalice, but otherwise perfectly normal. And he looks identical to Ruben, when he was that age.

And so he can't help but ask. What's your full name, Benny?

[bluginkgo]

I had another crack theory

This one I deemed crazy enough to be posted to see how wrong it'll be. But I wanna attempt to guess as to what the hole in the cathedral is.

Spoilers duh

The hole I'm talking about is this.

Lately, I've been seeing a pattern in things I enjoy and how they also tend to follow a pattern.

The overall pattern being: the deeper you go, the more dangerous it is.

Of course, this is nothing new. The deeper in the ocean you go, the more dangerous creatures lurk there. The deeper in caves you go, the more dangerous your surroundings become (specifically pressure and heat).

Now, as for the crack theory: I think the absolute solver is now the center/core of copper-9.

Yup, that's it, Ginkgo has lost it. Bring out a stretcher, they need to be sent to a hospital. XD Hey, that's what my crack theories are! They are by no means anywhere near correct, but funny little thoughts that pop into my head.

Some shaky and loose evidence plus observations.

The entire cathedral seems to be overrun by absolute solver flesh.

From the gif to the actual teasers, the walls of flesh and absolute solver are ever present. Meaning this form has to be HUGE. J's eldritch form took up a rather large amount of space.

So, for this absolute solver that is in the cathedral, it must need MORE space than what eldritch J needed... it needs the whole planet. Just like how it took the entire Earth.

Now here's where another question pops up. What type of solver would need this much space? We've never seen a DD core need more space than what eldritch J took up. That's it. J was a single DD of who we saw the corrupted core take form of. But what if you take 10, or 50, or 100 corrupted cores and fuse them together? Sure, a single solver drone may not make that big of an impact, but we don't know how long the list of drones that were experimented on down in the labs was. Was it 10 drones? 40? More? We'll have to see in ep7! But after the core collapse and whatever massacre Nori caused, I really don't think ALL of the solver drones made it out. Where does this leave them and their corrupted cores, then? In the cathedral, down in the pits of (almost) hell.

That is where the hole leads to. It is one of many exits for the main body (an amalgamation of many solver drone cores) of the absolute solver to send out its limbs. (These limbs perhaps include the hand that was in the cabin N was in for ep4)

Now, here is where my very little expertise runs out. I do not know and never will claim to be this smart, but I don't know what happens to a planet when its core collapses. Based on the events of Copper-9, a core collapse sends the entire planet into an ice age. The core's warmth is gone, and that is a perfect place for the absolute solver to hunker down and nest in (seeing as it hates sun).

So if the gang wants to save Copper-9 well... let's just say it won't be pretty. And maybe that is what this is all about.

By destroying the last pieces of what is left of the core or whatever the absolute solver was holding together... there is no more of the natural physics of the planet. Gravity is gone, and everything may start floating away.

As per usual, this is a very loose theory here to sit and gather dust until I watch ep7 and confidently say, "Ginkgo... you need more sleep. These theories are way too out there. That or perhaps ask the absolute solver for a new head because this is insanity." ^_^

[girlactionfigure]

When a train filled with a large transport of Jewish prisoners arrived at one of the Nazi killing centers, many Polish gentiles came out to watch the latest group as they were taken away. As the disoriented Jews were gathering their possessions to take with them into the camp, a Nazi officer in charge called out to the villagers standing nearby, "Anything these Jews leave behind you may take for yourselves, because for sure they will not be coming back to collect them!"

Two Polish women who were standing nearby saw a woman towards the back of the group, wearing a large, heavy, expensive coat. Not waiting for someone else to take the coat before them, they ran to the Jewish woman and knocked her to the ground, grabbed her coat and scurried away.

Moving out of sight of the others, they quickly laid the coat down on the ground to divide the spoils of what was hiding inside. Rummaging through the pockets, they giddily discovered gold jewelry, silver candlesticks and other heirlooms. They were thrilled with their find, but as they lifted the coat again, it still seemed heavier than it should. Upon further inspection, they found a secret pocket, and hidden inside the coat was .... a tiny baby girl!

Shocked at their discovery, one woman took pity and insisted to the other, "I don't have any children, and I'm too old to give birth now. You take the gold and silver and let me have the baby." The Polish woman took her new "daughter" home to her delighted husband. They raised the Jewish girl as their own, treating her very well, but never telling her anything about her history. The girl excelled in her studies and even became a doctor, working as a pediatrician in a hospital in Poland.

When her "mother" passed away many years later, a visitor came to pay her respects. An old woman invited herself in and said to the daughter, "I want you to know that the woman that passed away last week was not your real mother ..." and she proceeded to tell her the whole story. She did not believe her at first, but the old woman insisted.

"When we found you, you were wearing a beautiful gold pendant with strange writing on it, which must be Hebrew.

I am sure that your mother kept the necklace. Go and see for yourself." Indeed, the woman went into her deceased mother's jewelry box and found the necklace just as the elderly lady had described. She was shocked. It was hard to fathom that she had been of Jewish descent, but the proof was right there in her hand. As this was her only link to a previous life, she cherished the necklace. She had it enlarged to fit her neck and wore it every day, although she thought nothing more of her Jewish roots.

Some time later, she went on holiday abroad and came across two Jewish boys standing on a main street, trying to interest Jewish passersby to wrap Tefillin on their arms (for males) or accept Shabbos candles to light on Friday afternoon (for females). Seizing the opportunity, she told them her entire story and showed them the necklace. The boys confirmed that a Jewish name was inscribed on the necklace but did not know about her status. They recommended that she write a letter to their mentor, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, explaining everything. If anyone would know what to do, it would be him.

She took their advice and sent off a letter that very same day. She received a speedy reply saying that it is clear from the facts that she is a Jewish girl and perhaps she would consider using her medical skills in Israel where talented pediatricians were needed. Her curiosity was piqued and she traveled to Israel where she consulted a Rabbinical Court (Beit Din) who declared her Jewish. Soon she was accepted into a hospital to work, and eventually met her husband and raised a family.

In August 2001, a terrorist blew up the Sbarro cafe in the center of Jerusalem. The injured were rushed to the hospital  where this woman worked. One patient was brought in, an elderly man in a state of shock. He was searching everywhere for his granddaughter who had become separated from him.

Asking how she could recognize her, the frantic grandfather gave a description of a gold necklace that she was wearing. Eventually, they finally found her among the injured patients.

At the sight of this necklace, the pediatrician froze. She turned to the old man and said, "Where did you buy this necklace?"

"You can't buy such a necklace," he responded, "I am a goldsmith and I made this necklace. Actually I made two identical pieces for each of my daughters. This is my granddaughter from one of them, and my other daughter did not survive the war."

And this is the story of how a Jewish girl, brutally torn away from her mother on a Nazi camp platform almost sixty years ago, was reunited with her father .....

Adapted from the book "Heroes of Faith"

Rabbi Yisroel Bernath

[insomniac-dot-ink]

The Princess, The Fairy, and the Goat-hearted Swamp

Prologue

Not all fairy godmothers are as talented as the stories say. Some fairy godmothers bumble their way through their duties. Thistle was one of those fairies and Calendar was one of those princesses–a little bit off. The king and queen of a poor country asked the fairy first if they could fix her. When she said maybe. With the right curse. The king and queen’s second question was quite plainly before she cast the spell: “Why a swamp?”

Calendar wished she remembered the day better in general but in her defense, the mice were a bit distracting. Bright syrupy midday light streamed in through the throne room windows and it was a meeting of four. The fairy, her parents, and Calendar.

Thistle carried a thorny branch instead of a wand and was absently stroking the leaves. A family of small mice were ducking in and out of her shoulder satchel and Princess Calendar, named such for curse-related reasons, was also watching their progress. The little mice were making their way from one end of the drawing room to another, their cheeks stuffed with seeds or berries or some other foodstuff Calendar figured. Her mother’s lips pinched together and her prudent gaze flicked back and forth between the fairy’s elfin face and the mice.

They were probably being robbed. Hospitality bid they not mention it.

“Well?” Her mother was never one for patience. 

Cal sat in the center of the grand hall on a three-legged stool. She often thought three-legged stools had a magical and romantic quality and sitting on one might make her the type of princess worth saving. Her curse was not to be the usual type after all.

“Miss Thistle.” The queen, tiny and exacting, leaned forward. “Why a swamp?”

“Pardon?” The fairy Thistle was adjusting her bag for the mice to scurry up and down from. They were smaller than field mice with little brown bodies you could squish to your cheek against–Cal’s main priority in her imagination right then. 

Cal’s mom was red in the face but the energy seemed to leave her body all at once and arms went slack at her sides. “We’ll do whatever you deem best.” 

The fairy Thistle smiled brightly. “Why, the fresh air will be good for the girl.” She gestured at Cal’s perfectly pale and limp body, a testament to how far you can ring youth dry until you felt more like a dishrag than a girl. “Besides, how else will true love reach her? Holed up in this stuffy castle will limit the poor thing.”

“And a swamp will open up her options?” Cal’s father muttered dryly. He hadn’t so much glanced at the mice, a man of studied stoicism. 

Her mother simply groaned and joined him under her breath, “second rate fairies. Oh yes, a bargain deal.”

“I don’t mind,” Cal said brightly. “I’ve never been so far outside of the lands . . . and I’m sure my true love will find me either way. That’s the way the spell works.” She shot the fairy a pointed look to confirm that was how the spell worked and Thistle nodded. Thank the stars.

Princess Calendar beamed. “I’m quite looking forward to it.”

The princess was to be put to sleep in the middle of the swamp on an enchanted bed that could neither sink nor be found by unkind hearts. The netting up above was enchanted to keep out the rain and weather and bugs and the pillow was enchanted to keep her asleep lest the curse work its magic.

Being an unlucky princess was such a bother. You often wonder, ‘why wasn’t I born normal?’ Or at least, born taller. She might have some better stories by the time she was 22 then. Cal kept fretting over the details: What would she talk to her true love about? They would only have the swamp to talk about or the kiss Cal figured she’d only half-remember. She wasn’t entirely sure how to talk about swamps either–she wished she spent more time reading up on the trees or funny little green frogs that hopped around. If it was really her true love, they would know what to say. They would know what to do where Cal did not. It would be easy.

Her head filled with the dreaminess of love, true and all, and the prospect of never having to be alone again. To be wanted before they even knew her or had to know her. She liked that thought more than any in the whole world.

The last sight before Cal floated to an unseen and unknown world was Thistle leaning over her and giving a tense smile. “This won’t hurt.” Then, she kissed on the forehead and the world disappeared.

------

Part 1 to come!

Ko-Fi 🌻Patreon 🌻My book

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Can I see your oshi no kono but happier au?

!!!! HELLO I ONLY JUST SAW THIS ASK, YES OF COURSE YOU CAN SEE IT :DDDD It's still in WIP jail for now, but I can give you a basic rundown! I'll put it under a cut:

So, Tommy is the main character because I'm an unapologetic Inniter, lol. He is both Aqua and Ruby, and maybe Ai too a little bit!

Originally, he was Tommy Innis, a sick orphan who'd spent nearly his whole life in hospital under the care of Doctors Sam and Ponk(they both have the role of Goro, though not Aqua).

He dies right before his 16th birthday, and on the same day is reborn as Tommy Craft, the son of superstar actress Kristin Trix and famous artist/sculptor Philza Craft. Tommy's a huge fan of both, but he didn't know they were married bc it was kept under wraps. He's really happy he gets a second chance at life though! He wanted to be an actor/singer/whatever-involves-artistic-talent, but he was too sick to do any of it properly- except maybe writing.

Also, Technoblade Craft is his teenage(?) uncle who's already making a name for himself in writing & various sports. Tommy is a fan of him too. Hehe👍

So anyway, Innis!Tommy used to be online friends with this one guy, idk which guy it's gonna be yet. Let's call him Guy for now.

Guy was an aspiring movie director, he* and Tommy often talked about how Tommy would appear in Guy's movie, and they'd both be super successful, and stuff like that- but Tommy died before any of it could happen...

(*: I'm assuming he's gonna end up being a he? Niki, Hannah and Tina all have roles already, and I'm pretty sure Puffy's gonna be Foolish's mom or something, so yeah.)

But!!! He follows Kristin to one of her movie sets, and lo and behold, the director's his old online best friend!

Guy, being 21(?) now, is rising fast in the movie industry. He has Purpled on set as a child actor, but he makes a spur-of-the-moment decision to have Tommy appear with him. Purpled, who's been acting for a while now, understandably isn't too happy at having to act with a complete newbie.

But turns out, Tommy's a natural! Purpled is kinda jealous, though he's also impressed. (You can probably tell by now, but Purpled is Kana. Kekw) Then Tommy teaches Purpled a bunch of new swear words, much to Kristin's amusement and Guy's exasperation. They become friends-for-the-day after that👍

Uuuuhhhh not entirely sure how things are gonna go from here, but something about Techno nearly getting stabbed? He's fine though DW, it's called Oshi No Ko But Happier AU for a reason! :D

Guy dies though.

.......Yeah.😬

BUT that will come later, for now Tommy's gained quite a reputation as a child actor with tons of potential! Under a pseudonym of course, bc he can't really announce himself as the son of two of the most influential artists of the century, not to mention the nephew of one. He gets to learn how to play a bunch of instruments too! (Innis!Tommy, being a sick orphan, had only gotten to learn a few that were easy/cheap to learn, and could fit in a hospital room.) Techno nearly getting killed puts the family on edge though, so they all agree to keep the acting jobs to a minimum until Tommy's older.

Fast forward to 13 years old, Tommy's just started to attend a super-prestigious school specializing in the arts. Turns out Purpled is here too! But Purpled's changed a lot during the time they didn't see each other. He's a lot less expressive- it reminds Tommy that all of Purpled's roles, during the last few years, have been apathetic acts. Tommy's a bit concerned, but Purpled is in the year above his so Tommy can't really catch him in school.

He makes a friend in writing class though! Their name is Ranboo, he's pretty cool! Ranboo introduces him to Tubbo, who's attending a technology-centered school.

Turns out, Ranboo's older sister, Niki, is friends with Techno. She & her queerplatonic partner, Jack Manifold, are co-leaders of the dance team 'Rocket'. Tommy's been calling them Team Rocket as a joke.

Shenanigans happen! Oh and Tommy's family is still searching for the person that ordered a hit on Techno, because what the f*ck.

Around this time Tommy's accidentally gotten super SUPER famous, and he starts to see that a lot of murders have been happening in the entertainment industry for years. The family lawyers & the authorities hadn't made the connection bc of different methods/seemingly different motives/different culprits, some of whom have been caught- but Tommy thinks there might be a connection. It's kinda irrational, he has no evidence, but murders/murder attempts HAVE been happening more often in the last decade or so than before.

Oh yeah!! I haven't drawn any concept art yet, but I have a list of "star pupils". (no pun intended, I genuinely did not expect that to sound like a pun, what the heck.😅)

If I do get around to drawing some characters for Oshi No Ko But Happier AU, I'll be changing the Star Pupil rules from the original manga/anime.

I'm thinking talent in creation- drawing, painting, writing, etc. - would be four points, shaped like a + sign, while performance- acting, singing, playing instruments, etc. - would be four points, but shaped like an x. Talent in only one aspect of each category- ex. Good at writing but bad at drawing, Good at dancing but average at singing- would be a single line or thin shape.

Additionally, the center of the star would get bigger according to your confidence!

So, Phil and Kristin have four-point stars, with Phil's being a + shape and Kristin's being an x shape. Purpled also has an x-shaped four-point star, but his stars have a big center in childhood and grow small in teenage years- and then grow big again, bc as I keep saying, it's Oshi No Ko But Happier AU. Ranboo has a cat's eye pupil-shaped pupil, while Niki and Jack both have lightning bolt-shaped pupils.

Techno has six-point stars, and Tommy has eight-point stars :) Hopefully I can avoid making them too OP by nerfing them in other aspects lol.

Uh, I think that's all for right now! Thank you for the ask, hope you enjoyed my ramblings haha😅

-Lilly xx

[turtlesnails]

I don’t want to lose you again

Alex gets a phone call from the hospital saying that his uncle was in a bad accident. Except, Ian Rider died four years ago...

T+, Alex Rider Fandom ( Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, Alex Rider (TV 2020)), Alex & Yassen, Pre-slash Alex/Yassen

Written for @shehungthemoon prompt for @alexinchainsfest

~7k words, No warnings apply, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Sickfic,

Preview under the cut:

Alex was already running late to his university class when his cell phone started to ring.

He reached into his pocket intending to turn off the phone's ringer, assuming that the incoming call was from Jack, Sabina or Tom. They were the only people who kept in contact with him regularly. 

It was an unknown number, with a 115 area code, Nottingham if Alex remembered correctly. It was likely a spam call; someone trying to sell him something or waste his time. Ian always said to never answer them, plus if it was really that important whoever was calling could just leave a message. 

And- Alex stole a glance at the time, if he did not get out of here in the next minute he would miss his train. 

There was just something odd nagging at him. Alex pulled the slightly burnt piece of toast out of his mouth and pressed down on the answer button. 

“Hello, May I speak with Alex Rider?” The female voice on the other end of the line spoke. Whoever this unknown number was…well, they knew who he was.

“Who is asking?” 

“I’m Sarah, a nurse at the Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham. I am calling for Alex Rider?

“What?” Alex responded rather confused. Why would a nurse from a hospital miles away call him on this dreary weekday morning. Heck, why at all? It’s not like he had an appointment up there. “Uh… This is him.” 

Alex slid himself onto one of the high stools. He did not know anyone in Nottingham. Jack and Sab were both in America, Tom was or should be in his Uni classes. None of them were anywhere near Nottingham. His mind briefly flashed to Ben Daniels. It had been months, almost a year now, since he had spoken to Ben. Ben might have been from Birmingham or Manchester. But if it was Ben…. Alex would have expected Wolf or Crawley to pass the news on to him.  

“Well Alex.  I’m calling regarding your loved one, Ian Rider. And, I wanted to inform you that they have been admitted to our hospital.” 

“What the fuc-“ Alex started to respond before catching himself, “Sorry. I just am really not expecting this. You said my uncle, Ian Rider, is in the hospital?” 

“Yes. I know the news can come as a bit of a shock,” She continued, “He was involved in a serious accident when his motorbike collided with oncoming traffic. He listed your name and phone number to the medical personnel at the scene, before being med flown to Queen’s Medical center. He is currently in the Intensive Burn unit at the hospital. I am calling firstly to inform you of his condition but also because you are listed as Ian’s medical proxy, and legally are able to make decisions on his behalf for treatment.” 

Alex ran a hand through his hair. It was unbelievable. There is no way Ian is still alive? Or was there? It was a closed casket at the funeral. Ian or even Alan Blunt could have faked his death. Four years…

It was a long time. And, if Ian was alive why didn’t he try to make contact with Alex before that? Why would he just abandon him? Especially if he knew Blunt and Jones would take advantage?  Alex felt just a bit angry.

“Alright,” Alex repeated, turning his focus back to the phone call,  “What happened? And what do I have to do?” 

“Firstly, Ian has suffered from second and third degree burns on his right side. The third degree burns extend through the entire thickness of his skin, are more challenging to treat and may require skin grafts.  He also sustained a head injury. We’ve conducted relevant diagnostic tests which showed swelling. Our main concern here is increased pressure on his brain from his skull. But, we need consent in order to do surgery.” 

“My consent, right?” Alex asked 

“Correct. We also want to make sure that you know the procedure, the risks and the benefits, along with answering any questions you might have.” 

“That is the best thing to do, right? That’s what the doctors are recommending?” 

“The sooner we reduce the swelling and pressure on the skull the better.” 

“Alright, yeah do that. I’m definitely not going to make it to my class today…. You said Nottingham?”

“Yes, that is correct.” The nurse responded.

“Good. I’ll be on the next train up.”  With that Alex ended the phone call, and pondered what had just happened. He felt nauseous, like the room was spinning way too fast around him. 

On one hand, Ian could be dead. There was always a chance that there are two Ian Riders with the same birthdays in the UK- maybe the other Ian had a nephew named Alex. Alex was a common enough name. So was Rider.  On the other hand, Ian could be very much alive. Which brought Alex full of emotions. If he was alive why did he wait four years to contact Alex, why was he in Nottingham, and why didn’t anyone tell him? A thought dawned on Alex. Maybe they did not even know Ian was still alive.

(Continue reading on AO3)

[bihansthot]

Fuck global warming, it’s 52 in February in Michigan! All I needed this morning was my hoodie and it was fucking HOT in the hospital but I was cheeky and didn’t wear a bra today because of my oversized hoodie and man did I regret it, my big naturals need a bra lol I had my annual heart appointment this morning though so I would have had to take it off anyway so I said fuck it entirely. This morning was so stressful, my blood draw was really easy so very thankful for that but the hospital app was down this morning so we didn’t know where to go and the front desk sent us to the main hospital’s PET scan department when I apparently needed to be in the PET scan department in the cardiovascular center. So, I had to walk all over the various buildings to finally get to the right department and was a tad late but thankfully I was the only appointment so it wasn’t a big deal. For fucking once in my life they got the IV in the first try 😭 I almost cried, I’m such a hard stick it usually takes 4-5 attempts to start an IV on me. So, I was very thankful it went in so easily, it burned really badly though, or at least the medication did. They inject you with radioactive dye to make everything show up and then give you medication to simulate exercise all while you’re in an MRI machine to get imaging of the heart. It’s such a weird sensation, you go from half falling asleep to suddenly feeling like your sprinting in seconds, it’s not necessarily unpleasant but it is odd but like I mentioned earlier the medication burned quite a bit going in. The imaging was apparently sufficient even though the drug didn’t do its job as well as it was supposed to because they sent me home in a timely fashion. I got back home and took a very long nap and apparently the girl who wrapped my IV didn’t wrap it tight enough because the dresssing was soaked in blood when I took it off later. It’s bruised but not awfully. All in all things went better than they could have. Downside my labs aren’t good at all. My tacrolimus level is an 8 it’s supposed to be between 4-6, so that’s not good but reasonably easy to fix, they’ll just lower my dose again and repeat labs next week most likely. The really bad thing though is my liver is crazy out of whack again, which really blows. It might be as easily explained as my enzymes are spiked because I just got over the flu but last time it was this high is when I had CMV. I’ll get my results for the CMV test tomorrow. In more news no one cares about but I over share is my parathyroid is very high which is actually good because it finally explains my chronic fatigue and weird appetite lately. Hopefully they can get it under control and my energy levels will return and I might be able to do things again. In small good things my kidneys are stable, they’re stage 3b kidney failure but they’ve also been there for like 7 years so they’re not getting worse, dance party time.

TL:DR: I’m still dying slowly but instead of just my heart and kidneys doing the dirty work now my liver is back on board for murder too.

[peachedtv]

Re-Fucking-Venge.

⤩ Yandere!Dabi x Nurse!Reader

⤩ Warnings: Kidnapping, non-sexual hair pulling, paraylsis, angst, drugging, profanity, descriptions of panic attacks, violence, slight horror.

⤩ Word Count: 6.67k

⤩ Synopsis: ‘Come dance with me in hell, won’t you, Father?’ And boy did Dabi fucking mean it. Poor little you to have been his next ledge to mindfuck his father to shards. 

I might continue this... I really want to... If it does continue it’ll turn into a sort of smut and publicized hostage sitch. It’s not really yandere yet,,, if it does continue it will be. 

Honestly, everything's turned into a fucking mess.

After the absolute devastation of Dabi’s theatrical exposing of Endeavour, your workplace was swarmed by furious citizens and questioning paparazzi. They were angry. So fucking angry. Angry for the fact that Endeavour had such cruel impositions on his children, angry that his actions caused the root of such a murderous villain, and angry at the fall of heroes being ironically unheroic. Day or night, their anger wouldn’t stop. The continuous flashing lights of cameras, the synchronized yelling, and the fists that shook in the air. With the mantra of harassment towards your hospital, one would think you’re caring for number one himself—the one Dabi framed as the center point for his villainous roots, the one who did most of the hurting. But, no. You weren’t caring for Endeavour. You were the main nurse for his wife, Rei. And that's what truly ticked your soul.

It absolutely baffled you. Why were such a mantra of citizens harassing a regular person? Can’t they properly think that if Dabi’s speech pointed at Endeavour, it’s mainly Endeavour’s doing? Article after article, you started to understand that many hard-luck Endeavour fans were convinced that the abuse Dabi had forsaken was all Rei’s fault.

‘She’s manipulative.’

‘What a fucking gold digger.’

‘No wonder Endeavour had to take out his anger on his children.’

Yet who was the one in psychiatric care? Are these people truly blind to the obvious victim here? It made your blood boil.

You kept Rei under your loving care for years. As someone who had their own fucked up family situation, you felt for her since her admission oh so many years ago. You knew who she truly was, and so, it made you enraged that these strangers yelled at her as though they’d known her all their ignorant lives. As if they had the entire situation figured out when even Endeavour had his own twisted narration of what happened. People believe what they want to believe, and you began to understand that. People protect what and who they wish to protect. It did not matter how morphed and wicked the twists on their perceptions may be—as long as they can justify themselves. As long as they can justify the wrong.

And so, here, Rei was not the object of the crowd’s protection. She was the embodiment of their malformed justifications. The receiver of their hatred, the one to hear the garbage and clunk of cans thrown against her window.

It’s during a time like this that you’re truly brought back. Brought back to the Rei who first arrived. The Rei who was constantly in a fight or flight response. For the first few weeks of her stay, she wore a horrid expression of absolute dread. Her eyes truly had no spark, and her body felt empty of any soul. She always looked down, her chin tucked near her chest as she zoned out into a singular corner of her room. Many of the doctors and nurses complained to the head, saying she was too much for our hospital to handle. Whenever someone merely grazed her arm while cleaning her room, she would scream out in horror—thrashing about as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Thus, when nurse after nurse had quit being her caretaker, finally you came up to the chopping block, and you had heard a lot about her. Of course, none of which was positive.

‘She’s fucking insane.’

‘That woman makes me want to quit.’

‘Thank god I got switched out.’

‘Goodluck, Y/N, you’ll need it.’

When you first saw her, the barrier you had about yourself slipped. No, you didn’t see a manic woman, nor did you see some form of a psycho. What you saw, mesmerized you. You were entranced. She was truly beautiful. Her white hair gently framed her face, while the sunlight in her room had a cold, blue hue, that you didn’t feel was present anywhere else in the hospital. She had the aura of an apathetic beauty, a flower that was plucked - for even wilting roses had their charm. Her eyes, though, those wonderful eyes. You could tell her deep irises once held the spark of happiness, the spark of hope and care. Yet now, her eyelids hung low, dark circles beneath her lids dragging her visage lower, and her posture as an enervated slouch. It was in that moment when you first laid eyes on her did you truly see who was deep inside the shell of her abused being. She brought you back, brought you back to who you easily could have become—shown you who you would’ve been had you not fought tooth and nail against your resolves. And so, determination flared inside of you. You will help her. You will bring back her spark. No one should fight so alone against something a crowd can’t handle. Thus, even if you’re the only one by her side, you will still be there.

It had taken a couple of months for you to barely disarm her violently defensive walls, but you managed. You always knocked on her door before entering, peering through before stepping into the room. You set up a small stool by her bedside, and every time you came to her you would sit down before getting to your medicinal caretaking. You’d smile, greet her warmly, and tell her silly stories about your day. Tales of the warm old man across the hall, of those pesky UA kids that couldn’t help but fight a little too hard for others. You would go into detail after detail, eyes dancing across the empty walls as you lightly laughed at the memories or clicked your tongue at some of the peskier ones. Although she never responded, you made sure to speak to her every single time.

Furthermore, you were careful, you truly wanted the best for your patients, and she is no different. You were careful when you delicately held the flowers’ stems as you poured in fresh water. You were careful when you gently told her everything you would care for before doing it. ‘I’ll be checking your heart rate, is that okay?’ You’d smile, not even grazing her arm before a sign of confirmation. And it was these careful things you did for Rei that truly made her love you too. Soon, she began to speak. Her voice was delicate and raspy, as she hadn’t used her vocals in such a long time. But still, you smiled at her. Tears welling in the corners of your eyes as you listened to her very first request for a glass of water. Progress is progress. And you were determined to continue it.

From her vaguely written patient file, you had an idea that her husband was the main factor in her descent into your care. But, you were horrified once Rei trusted you enough to spill her heart's deepest sorrows—all caused by her husband. She cried, and oh how her tears fell so quietly it shattered a piece of you that you didn’t know was there. After she began giving you one-worded answers, to replying in whole sentences, her walls soon came down and a woman desperate for help and comfort revealed herself. It broke your heart remembering the number of overtime shifts you’ve spent merely hugging her while she gripped your scrubs. Her arms desperately clinging to you for any minuscule support, her body trembling in the fear that you’ll give up and leave her just as the other nurses did. Those silent tears fell, her muffled cries making you wish you could take away her pain if only for a minute. Every night, that was the scene between you two. And every night, flashbacks of her husband’s cruel words yelled at her from the silence only she could hear. Not only as a nurse, but as a human being, you truly cared. And Rei could feel that sincerity, thus, you two grew close.

Even after Rei exponentially improved, you still tried your best to give her some kind of comfort she could cling to in the emptiness of the hospital’s blank walls. You were so proud of her. She came so, so far in her healing process. And your soul smiled at the thought of her gentle nod whenever you entered her room—she had the misfortune of a hundred lives, and didn’t deserve a single crumb more of difficulties.

So why did fate have the tv running that day?

You ran to her room, the blaring of her EKG racing your mind with worry. It had been long, too long, since her heart raced so. You had gotten used to her health, to her improved state, so how the hell did this happen? When you burst through the door, Rei was slumped on the ground with her hand clawing into her chest as she hyperventilated, her eyes wildly ajarred as her gaze stuck to the screen with tears swelling the corner of her ducts as her lips fell apart in these broken attempts of communication.

'-was born as the eldest son of Endeavour.'

‘Rei! Breathe, breathe, I’m right here for you. Please, what happened?’ You held her comfortingly, rubbing your palm in circular motions upon her back. God, how did this happen? Sorrow wretched your soul when she began to cry harder, frantically looking from the floor before her and the screen upon the tv. She shoved you away with as much force her could muster, you stumbled slightly back, in absolute shock. It had been a while since Rei had a any miniuscle of violence in her outbursts—let alone having an outburst in the first place, and it broke your heart to wonder why it was happening. You could tell her conciousness was slipping from the rapid breaths she choked to take, how her movements became more sluggish. She began to scream, her hands tangling into the hair on the side of her head as she knelt with her face to her knees. You reached into a nearby cabinet, taking a deep breath as you thrashed around the contents until your fingers wrapped about a minor sedative. It pained you, you haven’t had to go to such measures in so long. Your hand firmly on her shoulder, you told her everything was going to be alright before injecting the sedative and keeping your comforting words. 

'I was created for my father's selfish dream.'

‘It’s okay, I’m right here. Don’t worry about a thing, Rei.’ You spoke gently, and her eyelids began weighing down to shut, before she looked deep into your eyes and whispered: ‘T-tell him I’m sorry.’ Your eyes followed her as she tried to look towards the tv. Upon the screen, a man was sitting upon a vintage couch. Throughout his body, horrid patches of purple plastered his skin, barely holding onto his stature with the use of staples, you could see the dip in his surviving skin and the bruised purple from the awful staple job on his body. It looked so painful your skin tingled in discomfort. With such a blatantly iconic look, how could you not recognize the man himself? Dabi. His hair was a messy black, his chin picked up toward the camera, and a darkened gaze of determination and resentment filled his eyes—a stare that would pierce the soul of any viewer.

'-my father would force my mother to give birth to more off-spring.'

How long had his voice been playing in the background? You stared, stared at the TV. You listened, listened to Dabi apathetically recall every horrifying detail Endeavour put his pitiful children through. The same details that had you shaken to insomnia at night when you first heard it through Rei's exasperated cries during her mental break downs. It was awful, Endeavour's actions were horrid. The neglect, the abuse, his cold demeanour, hearing both Rei and now Dabi recount those awful memories made you realize just how cold the air about you became as well - a sudden contrast as though your physical environment darkened from the heavy words Dabi spoke out about. You felt their pain, but you know you could never truly understand it. Not until you had gone through something the exact same, and even then, everyone processes trauma differently. Thus, empathy is such a golden key. The very key that had your shocked visage brim with tears. There wasn't a hint of pain in Dabi's voice, not yet, at least. Yet, you knew that years before, and deep inside his battered body, Touya was will trapped. Crying, begging, trying to crawl his way out. You saw a reflection of Rei in Dabi. The reflection of someone who was in pain but built these sky-high walls to hide any form of vulnerability.

‘Using the blood Endeavour left at the fight in Kyushu,’ his hand propping up a document, ‘there was a 99.99% match.’ 

Truly, it took a while to understand what you heard. Your eyes carefully traced the screen, ears perked up in denial as Dabi described every moment that Rei had described to you. Endeavour, the pain, the abuse, the screaming, the yelling. He recalled it with an absent look of apathy glazed across his face. His eyes reflecting that of an apathetic beauty. A look you recognized from the Rei who first walked into your care. If it weren’t for his unforgiving injuries, he would have been a splitting image of his mother. As you gazed upon his grotesque features, his lips mouthed the same name of the son who Rei prayed so desparately for the return of.

Yet you don’t think her prayers were answered in the best way.

You stared holes into that screen, watching his careful movements, scanning the paper Dabi held in his hands, as you watched his mouth moved it was in that moment that you realized you couldn’t hear. A ringing was blaring in your head as the only sensory you had left was that of sight. Your vision tunnelled, the sides of your perception clouding into black as you silently watched Dabi continue to expose that wretched hero who caused his dear family such tremendous misfortune. Dabi was the same Touya Rei cried to you with gulit over for all these years. The same Touya whos only remains found was a jawbone from the burning forest he died in. The same Touya who fell apart for the sake of his father’s dreams.

How isn’t he dead? It didn’t make any sense. His jaw, how was his jaw found without the rest of him? How had it come off? How did he survive the temperature of those flames being enough to cremate someone alive? Your eyes watched the screen, watched Dabi’s speech continue, that ringing spiking a headache of throbbing pain. Nothing made any sense. And you put your everything into focusing upon the scarred man on the screen so why did this have to happen? Rei was doing so well, it’s not fair, why did this have to happen? She doesnt deserve this to happen she had trued so fucking much. She didn’t deserve this, she was barely healed–

‘Miss Y/N! Is Mrs. Todoroki okay?’ 

Your coworker’s voice snapped you back into reality, and you stammered an apology before carefully placing Rei into her bed and turning off the tv with shaking hands. From the expression on your coworker’s face, you could tell they saw the footage aswell, their eyes nervously tracing to the ajarred cabinet door to the sedatives, understanding the regress in Rei’s stability from this entire situation. 

Sadly, Rei’s instability wasn’t as fleeting as you had hoped. It didn’t take long for Rei to fall apart into the hole she fought so hard to climb out of. With the mantra of angered ex-Endeavor fans accusing her of child abuse, along with the constant paparazzi that flashed bright lights toward her window and posted her tear-struck face all over tabloids, you couldn’t blame her. For days after the incident, you refused to sleep. Staying by her side as she couldn’t rest at all. Although a hospital never sleeps, it still quiets at twilight. But no, not anymore. For even night didn’t tire the fucking protestors. They screamed out, police desparately trying to control the situation, although they were smart. Hugging the gates, not actually on the property of the hospital. Thus, the police couldn’t pull any legalities on them. 

You never left the hospital anymore, every break and after your shifts, you would sit at Rei’s bedside. The aura was both somber and panicked, darkened with the occational sniffles and choked sobs of Rei’s rasped voice. Unlike the usual, you did not speak. You knew the voices in her head had come back now, and if you added your own, Rei wouldn’t be able to hold out any better than she already is. So, the only thing you knew to do was to never leave her alone, and her arms never left your back. You held her in an embrace every night, neither of you sleeping, neither of you talking. Slowly, she began to loosen her hold, gently sleeping a couple minutes a night with her chin resting on your shoulder. Your heart lit with hope, glad she could finally sleep a wink. Before long, she was truly able to fall into a decent slumber, her body resting against yours for a couple hours before she would gasp awake. Slowly but surely, improvement had come. And once Rei’s sleep schedule returned to some extent, you traveled back home to your apartment for the first time in over a week to gather your own well-deserved rest.

You wish you could say your return brought some comfort to you. But truly, the silence was eerie to say the least. Your mind was still worried. Worried that Rei would wake up in the middle of the night, all alone without you there. A part of you missed her already, but your boss became truly worried for your health after the bags under your eyes darkened into a bruise like hue. She demanded you at least go home for a night, and you relented. Truly, your body was giving up, and you needed the rest too.

Your keys twisted inside the lock as you pushed the door open, a familiar creak welcoming you back. You did not feel very welcome. The air was a piercing cold, with all the lights in your apartment off. The fact that it was late into the night did not help, with both an absence of light in your home and no twinkling stars to gaze upon. Everything was pure dark. You sighed, dumping your bag lazily by the door as you kicked off your shoes, taking heavy steps toward your room when you stopped. You stood still, so, so still. From the crack below your closed bedroom door, light bled into the dark hallway. You were scared, truly. You never leave the lights on before leaving, so what was happening here..? Why were the lights on?

A sense of dread filled your body, and you listened carefully. Nothing. No rummaging, no gentle thumps of someone’s steps, just the rays of light dauntingly brightening the floorboards and that white noise of ventilation. Quietly, you walked backward toward the front door, taking shaky breaths as your lungs quivered. You should’ve stayed with Rei. You shouldn’t have come. With how little sleep you had gotten, your mind felt as though you were floating. And obviously, you struggled to form any kind of rational thought about your current predicament. Despite that, you did have one thought. The thought that you must leave. Immediately. You didn’t care for your belongings, your jacket, nor your shoes and keys. All you cared for was to get the fuck out. 

Every pore on the wall felt as though an eye was peering through, watching your pathetically fearful movements. Shivers spiked down your spine and every dark crack of any open door had an imagined silhouette peering through, faces tauntingly smiling to you through the dark. You were panicking.

Your hand gripped the knob, turning it slowly to stiffle it’s persistent creaks before you flung open the door to bolt outside. Your mind raced, breath hitching as steps slapped upon the cement. As you approached a corner, you turned your head back as you kept running—fully expecting the door to fly open and a figure to chase behind you. You couldn’t imagine why you had to have some burglary occur. You didn’t live in an exceptionally poor or rich area, and there were blatant security cameras throughout the building. The more you watched your back, the more you felt a little silly. Nothing came, and you nearly slowed down your bolt as a light chuckle of relief fell before your mouth. You’re safe, your apartment was safe. There’s no threat in your room, obviously, you must’ve forgotten to turn off the lights. You turned the corner as your bolt slowed into a jog. Yet, your momentary relief was short-lived the moment you roughly crashed into something in front of you.

You fell back, falling hard onto your ass with your palms scraping against the unforgiving texture of the floor. Gravel stung, digging into your open skid marks. Athough, that pain was nothing compared to the strike fear over who stood before you. 

The very man upon your tv screen those days before.

The very man who single-handedly wrecked the top two heroes.

Dabi.

He looked down at you, a sickened gaze and smirk plastered over his graphic features. He looked manic, and he was manic. The way he demeaningly leaned down to you, hands dug deep into the pockets of his black slacks, the way he cocked his head to the side, it all made your throat starkly dry. 

‘Why the long face, Y/N?’ You internally gagged, your name sounded so vile on his tongue, in the way his face stared at you with hatred. How does he know your name? What does he want? You stared up at him speechlessly, your jaw falling silent and eyes dropping wide with horror. Your mind raced in confusion. Jumping from one false hope to another, trying to relieve your fear that you might not survive this encounter. Your only connection with Dabi was as the nurse of his mother, was he extrapolating some revenge against her? But why? Endeavour had been the main perpetrator of the abuse, so why are you being dragged into this so mercilessly? You couldn’t think clearly, but you did know one thing. Both of you well knew Rei had barely anything to do with the harm Touya had endured. Yet, here he was. Newly born as Dabi, as the Dabi who stared down at you as though you coddled his worst enemy your whole life.

His hand shot toward your collar, the fabric ripping at certain ends from the sheer force he used to drag you closer to his face. Your hands grappled at his wrist, fingertips digging into his hand before your force hesitated when you latched right onto his staples. You were scared. You were really, really scared. The way his smile grew wider in response to those pathetic tears that welled in your eyes, the way he held you so tightly your windpipe felt as though it was burning in pain. You felt misjudged. Thrown into an undeserving cruelty that you hadn’t even sinned enough to deserve. But obviously, why would a villain care about whether or not you deserved their violence?

‘Why are you so scared? I’m only here to thank you.’ He quirked, eyes wide as he laughed at your pathetic expressions of fear and struggle. ‘You won't die, so don’t be too dramatic.’ He smiled, yet, you didn’t feel comforted. Heck, a part of you here realized how much you wish you could’ve died at this moment. Was living through whatever he was about to put you through better than hell itself?

‘You took care of my dear old mom ever since I left, comforting her all those nights, helping her recover from Mr. Number One.’ His grip tightened, your collar bunching up into his palms, harshly wheezing your throat as you struggled to breathe. You knew no amount of fighting back was going to drain him down to stop. Dabi had you stood completely upright, right up on the tip of your toes as he held the majority of your body weight up by your neck, still leaning forward to truly yell into your face. Even without the threat of his quirk, you’d never stand a fucking chance against him with how he towers over you. You could tell of the venom Dabi had in his recalling of your care as his mother’s nurse, his pupils dialating in fury. Had he felt things were unfair? That he hadn’t had the help Rei needed when he felt so much worse? You tried to be empathetic, trying to find a way so you could make it out alive. But the more Dabi tightened his hold on you, the more you realized you wouldn’t be getting out of this unscathed—far from it, actually.

‘I’m here to repay you. You know? You spent so many years caring for her, so I’ll repay your act of kindness.’ His voice dripped in sarcasm, venom seeping through as his spat out to you right in your face. Suddenly, his expression morphed, his smile churning so wide the staples holding his smile  together began to rip at the corners of his mouth. ‘You know, that stupid woman isn’t the angel you keep treating her to be. Haven’t you seen little Shoto Todoroki? How do you think that scar on his precious face came to be?’ Your breath hitched as his grip tightened, your throat completely wrenched into his lone palm as heat began radiating through his fingers. Don’t listen to him, you told yourself. Rei messed up. She’s wasn’t the best mother. But no one helped her victim until she became the abuser. Shoto didn’t deserve that, neither did Rei deserve the cruelities of Endeavour, and nor did Touya deserve a crumb of the pressure he underwent. Can’t he understand that nearly everyone in this situation is some form of a victim? You felt frustrated trying to hold your tongue back against this man. He was blinded by rage, a rage that began rationally and morphed into something villianously sinister. It made you feel frustrated. He pitied himself too much. Everyone was struggling, Shoto and Rei too, so why was he so upset with you helping someone who needed to be helped?

‘You people disgust me. You save whoever the fuck you want, but leave the people who really need it out to burn up in a forest.’ You shook your head, shutting your eyes tightly in denial to his cruel accusations. You wanted to yell. Yell how stupid his words were, how tunnelled his thinking was. Dabi is being selfish. Yet, despite your anger, you were still striken with fear. You understood you were in no place to speak your mind, yet your words just spilled out in a frenzy.

‘You’re so linear.’ You said shakily, furrowing your eyebrows and trying to wrench your windpipe out of his grip so you could just barely breathe. ‘Rei was hurt too, she’s n-no angel, but she’s not such a demon either.’ You spoke quietly, but considered how you were choked up into the air it was remarkably impressive you could even get a peep out. Dabi seemed to only become amused, an upset form of amusement. Tears streamed down your cheeks, mainly from the physical agnoy, but moreso now that his palm began to luminate blue and heat up.

You were going to die over your fat tongue.

Your crying only seeming to fuel him even more as his smile ripped even wider. ‘I’m sorry— I didn’t mean it badly–‘ You panically wept. His eyes narrowed, a sense of absolute euphoria over the position of power he had. He felt so cocky, you know? He just ruined two of the top heroes’ careers and now he’s taking away the only support and comfort from his shitty mom. His revenge has just fucking started. He nonchalantly dropped your body onto the floor as he adjusted to stand straight. You crumbled to your knees, your hands flying to your throat as you wretched and coughed out. Your neck was painful to the touch, throbbing as you felt the bruise of his grip develop. Suddenly, he knelt down to one knee, looking at you with an unimpressed expression. 

‘Don’t be so fucking dramatic. Be grateful you’re alive.’ He spat, his tone unforgiving. You sobbed, trying your best to sniffle your crying as you bit down on your lip and shut your eyes tightly—too stuck in horror to look at whatever the fuck your current situation was. From the fear of death you just had, you nearly wanted to thank him for sparing your life. Your hands violently shaking as you refused to look up to him, parts of you begging that this was all some bad trip. Suddenly, he laughed. He began to laugh, growing louder and more insane. You stopped breathing, opening your eyes to see him heaving in absolute exhilaration. 

‘Don’t do that,’ He was profoundly euphoric, ‘you’re reminding me too much of how I cried to dear old Endeavour. What, are you trying to send me down memory lane?’ He finally calmed down a little, smiling at you as you knelt before him, fucking speechless. Your relief was immediately drowned out in the panic of what he was trying to do. He reached out, shoving his thumb into your mouth and forcing your jaw open. Taking his other hand, he forced two fingers down your throat without a shred of care. You gagged, grabbing his wrist and digging your nails into his skin as you felt a pill sink into being forced down into your body as he kept his fingers deep in your throat. Eyes wide as you tried to fight him off, jaw stiffening as you prepared to bite down on him. He stared you down warningly, his breaths deepening and hand warming on your jaw. You sobbed, relenting and loosening your grip on his wrist, shutting your eyes tightly. You felt a tear gently trickle down your cheek, it felt warm against your face. But not as warm as the threatening hand on your neck that wouldn't hesitate to burn. Dabi let go, standing up as you coughed out, feeling the pill stay stuck deep in your throat as you tried your best to ignore it. He lazily dragged his hand across your face, wiping your spit off his hand. You started to cry. Sobbing as quietly as you could as you heard. You could tell he was truly annoyed, clicking his tongue as he took heavy steps away from you - but still keeping a close enough distance to burn you alive if you tried to run away. You felt frustrated. What had you done to deserve this? What did he drug you with? Your panic made you hallucinate awful symptoms of the pill. The world began feeling dizzy, your head becoming light, ad your thoughts racing drunkenly. Although, rationally, you knew that you hadn't even digested the pill yet, so you tried your best to calm yourself down before the pill's effects would truly take place.

You didn't realize Dabi had taken his space between you two to take a quick call until he hung up, shoving his phone deep into his pocket before he looked back to you with a bored expression. 'Are you done crying?' He was annoyed. From the expression of apathy and boredom on his face, he resembled a tired dad sick of his children throwing a tantrum over every little thing. The way he looked down at you felt demeaning, and you felt your body shrink a little down into the core of your bruised heart. You wanted to stand up, your legs numb from being forced down to kneel this entire time. Yet, the fear you held over being burnt from any sudden movement kept you scarily still.

'Get up.' There wasn't a shred of care in his voice, but from the way he tangled his fingers in your hair, dragging you forward by it until you were knelt up awkwardly by his side like a dog, you weren't surprised by his verbal violence. Let alone his physical violence. You grabbed his hand, trying to ease the burning pain against your scalp. It felt as though your hair would rip from the root if he pulled just a little harder. Your eyes darted around, confusion to why he propped you up to him so closely. Was there some threat? Was something about to happen? You felt your heart pounding through your blouse, so loud it resonated inside your head. But, it didn't matter how much your scalp burned in pain. It didn't matter how your palms were still scraped open from your initial fall. It didn't matter how you had roughly fifteen minutes before that pill would digest. What did matter was that by the end of those fifteen minutes, you needed to be away from him and whatever he had planned for you. As though Dabi sensed your change in mood from fear to determination, his hand began to heat up.

'If you want to die, go ahead and try what you want. If not, stay down like the trash you are.' You felt the hope you built up crumble, maybe it was from Dabi's words. But mainly, it was from the literal crumble of the ground and roads in front of your apartment building. The way the earth caved in on the infamous stone-like creature that bulldozed through half of Japan—Gigantomachia of the League of Villians. His body was confined down so his brutish face was mere feet away from yours. His eyes were a glinted yellow, so much so they didn't resemble eyes in the slightest—moreso like large fragments of amber-filled or gold his sclera. You watched in horror as large rubbles of the road slipped down Machia's spikes, cracking their area of impact once they fell. Light after light turned on in your neighboring apartments, people opening their doors with pissed-off expressions darkened with eyebags. Looking to curse out whatever fool decided to make such a loud fuss in the middle of the night. Unsurprisingly, as the beast merely turned his head in their direction, and person after person ran out of their homes in wide-eyed fear.

Dabi rolled his eyes, unimpressed at their pathetic attempts at an escape. He raised his palm, flames bursting out from the center as screams of pain erupted. You stared in horror as the people you'd politely smile to every day burnt up before your eyes. You didn't plan it. Your arms reached up and grabbed Dabi's forearm to pull it down into our chest. You cringed when the flame lightly skimmed your shoulder, yet our grip on his arm remained iron. You refused to let people die right in front of you.

'What the fuck are you doing?!' He yelled, his flames dissipating as you watched a minuscule bunch run away safely. Dabi shoved you hard into the ground, glaring down at you in absolute annoyance. Yet you returned his glare, looking up at him with resentment. 'Fine, you wanna die? Go ahead.' He aimed his palm in your direction, a twinge of flames hurling out. Without a doubt, you were scared. You were scared of dying, scared of never seeing your loved ones again, and scared of the sorrow your death would cause. You hadn't had the impact you wished to have yet, yet here you were, about to die before barely making a dent of meaning in your life. But in that fear, you felt angry. Angry that you were being relentlessly harmed over helping someone who needed it, angry that Dabi would mercilessly burn the innocent without hesitation, and angry that he was mad at you over trying to save them. He was so unreasonable.

'God! Can you quit it?! I understand your pain, and I understand where you're coming from. But those people aren't Endeavour, Rei, or whoever else you hate! They didn't do anything to deserve being killed over, just like you didn't do anything to deserve what you went through as a kid. So why are you hurting them?!' You glared at him, adjusting your posture so you were sitting upright, a hand soothing the blistering burn on your shoulder. His flames fizzled out, and you saw his eyes widen. He was silent, still. As though for both of you, time stopped. You heard desperate steps fade away into the background, rubble from Machia falling upon the grass, and the sizzles of Dabi's flames eating away the fresh corpses that littered the scene about you two. His expression was apathetic, you couldn't read him. Yet, you felt his mind racing, before his palm picked up and slapped you, hard, right across your face.

'You understand me? Is that what you fucking said?' He was absolutely livid. You could hear the absolute anger in his voice, yet a soft smile spread across his lips. Your cheek felt stung, warm, and you were absolutely speechless. For some reason, him slapping you across your face felt more painful than the burn on your shoulder and the scrapes on your palms combined. It was the way he looked down at you. Down at you with absolute fury, as though you were a senseless fool. 'Don't you dare say you understand me when you haven't gone through what I did.' You could tell he wanted to kill you in that moment. You flinched when he reached out to you, expecting this to be your final moment. Instead, he threw you over his shoulder and jumped onto Machia's back, being dragged away to god knows where. You looked up to his face, catching a glimpse of his thumb wiping a droplet of blood from the corner of his eyes before wiping it onto his sleeve. Did he become injured? Or was that a common occurance? Truly, you shouldn't care. He had just battered you, violently dragging you upon the back of a rocky beast, and yet here your nursing instincts slapped you across the face to anaylze his aid.

Quickly, your brief confusion, or worry, for Dabi fell apart as you realized your legs couldn't feel the aggressive breeze of the wind against it's skin. You fought to move, to adjust your stature, yet you felt as though your nerves were burning, fighting against an invisble force that kept you scarily limp and still. Your heart began to pound in your chest, heavy breaths shaking your lungs as you nearly began to weep over what awful drug Dabi had foresaken onto you earlier. You felt constrained, uncomfortable, a distant tingle of pain tracing about the entirety of your skin as you tried to fight the stunt in your lower half. Your legs. Your legs were paraylzed. Your mind raced a mile a minute, heart dropping deep into your stomach. This isn't fair. It's not fair. You felt as though your life has fallen so far you couldn't even hear it's impact on the floor so down below. No resonating echoes, nothing. And that nothing was not at all what you deserved. You hand quivered, tracing across your shin to your thigh. It felt as though you traced your hand on another body, or a piece of your body that was no longer attached. You were disturbed, trying to keep your sanity together as your temples and eyes burned with frustrated tears. It wasn't until a tear hit your thigh, and you didn't even feel it, did you truly begin to break down.

Everything is a fucking mess.

[alexandriaisburning]

033: Seabed

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A yuri mystery novel, Seabed has no choices or alternative routes to explore. You simply read it from front to back, like a conventional novel. And despite that, it remains constantly engaging, with a structure that feels more interactive than many of its contemporaries that lean more heavily on the genre’s adventure game aspects. There’s a real literary quality to Seabed, not only in its prose, but how it asks you to piece together the story. 

Told non-linearly, it builds up the relationship between Sachiko and Takako, with various vignettes from childhood to their adult lives together. We get to see them work together, travel the world, and deepen their affections, before finally reaching the revelation that here, in the present, Takako has disappeared and Sachiko has been hallucinating her presence. 

The how and why is left unclear. Whether it was a simple breakup or Takako going missing during a trip, it calls into question exactly what happened and when, and gives an uneasy tension to past interactions, with each flashback heavy with the idea that this might be when Takako disappears. Layering the mystery are the “Tips”, parallel stories accessed from the main menu, with everything from small character moments to disappearing rooms and unsettling hospital visits. You’re never given a sense of where these fit into the timeline, leaving them spinning in your mind as you try to find where it fits into the ongoing mystery. 

The final revelations ended up mixed for me, but the process of unraveling the story kept it satisfying regardless. The heart of the story is the various relationships between the different women, and the complex emotional stakes that define them. Gorgeous prose describes each scene, and when we arrive at the mansion, the main location the story finally centers on, there’s a tangible sense of place that made me feel as if I’d walked its grounds myself. 

Even as I eased into a certain intimacy with the mansion and its characters, the structure of the story kept the boundaries of its world uncertain and intangible. The warmth of conversation at a Christmas party, or in a bath room filled with colorful fruit toys gave way to intimidating mountain landscapes and tunnel paths filled with dreamlike terror. Seabad often lulls you into comfort, followed by a violent reminder of the story’s stakes and why its characters can’t afford to settle into a peaceful routine. 

It's a bittersweet story, washed in melancholy, but it never falls into the trap of becoming a gay tragedy. We get to see an entire lifetime between Sachiko and Takako, with the non-linear structure continuing to deliver tender moments between them long after Takako's mysterious disappearance. We see what their lives look like after their separation, how they deal with it, and the new connections they form. 

If there’s one indulgence, it’s the classic visual novel trope of lavish food descriptions and detours into the author’s pet subject matters. Thankfully these detours are as interesting as the main story itself, with architectural history lessons, travel blog stylings, and conversations on delicate pastries and the astounding size of American portions. None ever go on too long, and each one of them feels as if it has a purpose in the story. 

In contrast to the maturity of the prose, there’s an almost amateurish quality to the art. Portraits are all ever so slightly off, with the occasional odd anatomy and posing, and fabric has a tendency to be suctioned tightly between every character’s legs. Backgrounds have a sort of mixed media approach, with a scene receiving either fully rendered 3D artwork, complete with variations for atmosphere and time of day, filtered photographs, or some combination of either with illustrations layered on top. 

You can tell where the artist’s strengths lie, with the 3D backgrounds rendered with such care I wouldn’t be surprised to learn they had a day job at an architectural firm or something similar during development. The portraits can sometimes come off a bit goofy, but the sincerity behind them comes across, and there are some beautiful, intimate scenes that aren’t any less effective for it. An intense care has been put into the presentation, and alongside Seabed’s effective use of color and soundtrack, there’s rarely a moment that fails to hit, regardless of the resources or skills the team had at their disposal. 

As I read Seabed, I kept getting lost in the pull of its gravity. Seabed flows between the personal, psychological and even supernatural boundaries of mystery. It has the warmth of a friendly, lighthearted hangout that provides a reprieve from a life of emotional turmoil. As the stakes build, characters consider what it is they need to let go of, and what they desperately want to hang on as the waves of time erode their memories. Seabed is a mystery not about the cold hard facts of reality, but what the emotional consequences of each event are for its characters. 

When the story wrapped up, I found myself wishing for more time with the characters. I wanted to see their desires fulfilled, to get one more interaction between them, one more conversation I hoped would allow me to let go of them. Goodbyes often leave us carrying the words left unsaid, hoping that the few words we can get out can express those silent feelings. Seabed captures those feelings--those feelings of a lifetime spent with the one you care about, of goodbyes that never end, and yet are never long enough, and of the memories you’re left to cherish--or forget--when it’s all over. 

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Rose Walker and John Dee: Narrative Foils

Okay this has been percolating in my brain for awhile and I have to shout about it. So. These two characters...Rose and John Dee. Couldn't seem more different on the surface, right? One's a young American black woman, vs older British-raised white guy who's lived all over the world, one painted as a major villain, the other a main protagonist of multiple episodes of the first season. But if you look beyond that, I think these two are, deliberately or not, perfect parallels to each other for their similarities as much as their differences.

First: let's list the similarities:

Difficult childhoods. John Dee's father was...literally absent and that is almost certainly a good thing. But his mother kept moving around to survive, changing her identity. She may have done what she felt she had to do but as a result John was left with no sense of stability and a Very Big Thing about people lying because he feels his mother has lied to him all his life. Rose, conversely, had a father...part of the time. But just by the fearful way Miranda Walker talked about her husband in one scene, trying to prevent Rose from confronting him over taking Jed (but not Rose...which, SERIOUSLY who does that, this man was not a good father, I like how much this one little scene implies) away with him...you get the distinct impression she lived in fear of her soon-to-be-ex-husband's anger. So Rose had a father who was...not good and lost her brother years ago and the pair disappeared before she and her mother could find out what happened. When the show starts her mother is dead too, much like Ethel Cripps died when she went to see him. So both Rose and John had childhoods centered around absent or unreliable fathers and the traumatic loss of their mothers.

Both were given access to great power over the world of dreams, critically: when they were infants and could not possibly know, much less agree to what they were inheriting. John Dee ended up in that hospital in the first place for misusing the ruby that Ethel stole from Roderick Burgess. Rose Walker was literally born a vortex due to inheriting it from her great-grandmother thanks to Desire's interference.

Both end up being chased down by Dream.

Now, the two end up in completely opposite places. But why? What's the difference?

When John Dee gets the ruby, immediately he begins killing his way out and across the country until he reaches the diner. On some level, he wants freedom and that's understandable after a lifetime of being locked up. But he clearly is very skilled at using the ruby which he even modified, and his first and immediate act upon getting the ruby back was to kill every single guard in his way. He didn't try to find another option, he immediately defaulted to the most violent way out. He almost killed Rosemary, though in the end he decided against it, but only because she helped him and didn't lie.

And then when he got to the diner, he spent an entire day and night toying with a bunch of random people until he got bored and let them kill each other.

Unquestionably some part of John was influenced by the ruby, the more the closer it was to him. We don't know exactly how much, we'll probably never know. But it is...alarming, to say the least, how he immediately and repeatedly begins to act not just after having it awhile, but after two seconds of getting it back.

John has traveled and seen the world long before he got locked up. But despite all the opportunities for education and experience he could've had, his worldview has no room for any shades of grey. To him, all lies are equally bad as the lies his mother told him, and all equally as bad as each other. It reminds me a lot of the evangelical Christian idea of "sin-levelling" where all sins are equally reprehensible in God's eyes so nobody is worse than the other - but also, no one better. If you have a "sinful" thought or make one mistake, you're just as worthy of damnation as the worst, most violent people.

Now leaving aside how that's actually treated in these churches in practice (which. LOL all sins are equal. Sure they are) that's obviously a little...fucked? The idea that actually, thinking hateful thoughts is as bad as murder, is as bad as stealing is as bad as...lust?? Gossip? Is both failig to recognize serious harms, and the difference between that and much more minor things one can do to others, or between all that and straight up thoughtcrime. It creates an inflated sense of harm for things that don't really deserve to be treated or even thought of in the same boat with atrocities and violence.

John Dee is if someone took a look at that sort of moral thinking and went "cool system you got there; what if I hijacked it and made it all about lying?"

His worldview is strictly black and white, no room for human error or understanding past a certain point. To him, if you tell a lie, no matter your intentions or the effect of your actions, it's all the same.

Meanwhile Rose has been used without her knowing it, by both Desire and in a way, Dream himself. He knows what her fate must be but for a mixture of motives, mainly mercy but also the knowledge that she could help him find the Corinthian, he spares her.

And his doing so and not telling her her ultimate fate, was the entire reason the Corinthian was able to slip in and find her in the first place. He shows up with Jed, after Rose has tried and failed to get the foster care system to actually let her make contact with her brother or do more than the bare minimum to investigate his well-being. So honestly, no wonder she trusted him at first! He saved her brother! Her brother seems to like him so he must be fine!

Rose has spent this entire season, her entire life, at the mercy of others, trying to carve out her own destiny. But she never uses her powers to deliberately hurt others- any harm she causes is either by complete accident or in attempts meant to defend her own life or her brother.

When she was a child she had no power to save Jed; for some reason we're not told the court sided with her father and allowed Jed to be taken separately, and then the man effectively custodially kidnapped his own son before dying himself and Jed was lost to the system of another state. Rose loses her mother later to some illness, and her friend Judy to John Dee's megalomania. And when she's finally an adult, she tries to find Jed but is flatly denied not only a chance at custody but even to know where he is - at least at first. And this whole time, the vortex she carried in her blood has been hanging over her head as a silent ticking time bomb. Her days are numbered, she will soon, eventually, become a living weapon to blend all the minds of all the dreamers of that world and eventually, the whole universe together into one cancerous magical sea of madness - and the only way to prevent this, we think, is for Dream to kill her. Her fate was sealed the moment she was born and the moment Dream was freed and the vortex awoken. All this was set in motion via Desire, someone much older and infinitely more powerful than herself.

So it would be more than understandable for someone in her situation to snap a little upon learning the truth. Honestly it's kind of amazing to me that she believed Dream when he finally did tell her everything, given he'd put off doing this until the very last minute because of his own reluctance to kill her.

And yet, when Rose finally learns the truth and her fate, she ultimately offers to take the fall, freely. She sees what the activated vortex does to the minds of everyone around her - first revealing everyone's most secret fears and fantasies and then pulling them into the whirlpool of her own power. And she refuses to let that happen. She values her own life in a way most of us would, in a totally understandable and sympathetic way. But unlike John Dee, she also values other people, even when they disappoint her. Hal blatantly tells her he doesn't care about the place they all live in half as much as the chance for success, but she still cares for him. The world is full of people, some of whom have hurt her or hindered her quest to find Jed but she doesn't seek revenge.

John sees the failures of humanity and its dark side and decides that those sins are worth condemnation through the power of his ruby, and assumes he is a worthy judge. Rose hears she could destroy the world and decides that no, the world is worth saving even if that means she has to die, much as she doesn't want or deserve to.

John Dee is, without even realizing it himself, a perfect mirror himself of the potential selfishness and cruelty humans can inflict on each other in the name of "I'm just all about honesty" "knowing what's best for you better than you do" and "fuck you, got mine". Rose is a mirror of humanity at its best - someone with dignity and a sense of morals who doesn't appreciate being lied to or used, and not a doormat - her first instinct is to fight for her life and her brother's - and she's also selfless and caring even for people she doesn't know, even for people who Dee would've argued weren't even worth saving.