#i have too many thots and not enough free time lol

[goosecadet]

🎃

[muniimyg]

30 | choose me ✒️

series m.list

taglist: @kakixaku @boraength @4ksj @pamzn @jinsearth @fancycollectormoon @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @fan-ati--c @kthlvr30 @ellesalazar @taeees-world @sukunasrealgf

note: … this is the end of part ii. i’ll begin part iii after more interactions 😭 im an attention wh0re ikik ,, enjoy besties 🥴 ,,, no warnings since this is honestly such a fluff chapter ✋🏽 yk the drill!!! send me ur thots 💭 see u guys soon (?) LOL

Hospitals are the worst. 

This one in particular brings many heavy memories. This very hospital your grandmother funded is the same one she was rushed to. She passed away in the ICU wing, 3 doors from the right hall a few days after. You remember it all too well.

Now, being here for your best friend stings. It hurts and you aren’t too sure how to process the feelings of overwhelming anxiety. 

“Ms ___?” A voice calls for you. You turn your head and see a doctor smiling at you warmly. “It’s an honour to meet you. Your family has done so much for this hospital and the medical field—”

No. 

You aren’t in the mood for this right now. “I’m looking for Jeon Jungkook? Are you his doctor?” you cut him off, unbothered by how rude it may have come out to be. “I need to see him. Can I see him?”

He smiles at you again, a little smaller than the initial greeting. You take him by surprise. You’re the granddaughter and daughter of absolute legends but right now, you’re a friend in distress.

“Jeon Jungkook from Jeon Inc, correct? I am his doctor. I promise you that he is in great hands as it’s also an honour to be at his service.” 

“She’s his emergency contact, Doctor. Please, what’s his condition?” Seok Jin speaks for you. He sounds so calm and collected. He’s the absolute opposite of you. 

“Are you Kim Seok Jin? The youngest son of Kim Ko? Wow.. Such influential families in my midst.. I am—”

“We understand how this must feel for you but we would prefer if you could continue as professional as possible. Please get on with it.” Seok Jin interrupts him. 

Thank fucking god. 

The doctor’s cheeks flush red. He clears his throat and mutters an apology. “Ms ___, Mr Jeon was found without a helmet and was more than lucky that his accident wasn’t as fatal as it could have been. His scans came out clean but aside from that… He’s facing a displacement fracture on his right arm, he hit his head and needed a few stitches. He has some road rash and bruised ribs.. And to answer your question, no. Unfortunately, you can not see him right now as I am taking him in for surgery. It’s a simple 1-2 hour procedure, Ms ___. Feel free to wait for me in the waiting room or even inside his recovery room.” 

Jin pulls you in for a hug and you sigh deeply. “Is that allowed? Can we wait inside his room?”

“Exceptions are made for Ms ___. Belated condolence to your grandmother, by the way.. I met her once and she was an amazing woman. Your parents as well—”

“Thank you for your time, doctor.”

For the second time tonight, the doctor tries to not look too offended. Jin gives the doctor a look, the kind that warns him to stop. You had been through enough tonight and the mention of your grandmother and parents is definitely not what you need to feel better. The doctor then excuses himself and you turn to Jin with a sad smile. 

“He’s going to be okay,” you breathe. “That fucking idiot better be okay.” 

Seok Jin laughs, tightening the hug. “I’m sorry this is happening, baby. I should have waited for you instead of—”

“Instead of what, Jin? The conversation had to happen. I can’t control his reaction.. It’s okay. I’m not mad at you or even at him.. Maybe at myself, sure. But not at you, baby, “ you reassure him. 

He shakes his head. “Don’t blame yourself either,” he tells you. “That’s not fair. It’s not how this is going to work either.”

You look at him and feel it in your chest. If before you complained about how he couldn’t meet you emotionally.. How he was never there when you needed him or how his warmth was limited—you’re surely wrong now. 

Right now, Jin is all you need. 

You’re restless. 

It’s only been an hour and you can’t do this. “What if he doesn’t make it?” you ask Jin, intertwining your fingers together. 

You two are sat inside his car. He insist that you get some sleep since this adventure took all night. “Go to sleep, baby.” 

You’re sleepy. You’re trying to fight it too. It’s so obvious. His heart melts at the sight of your puffy cheeks and sleepy eyes. How are you even speaking right now? You look so exhausted. 

“I can’t.” Sitting up, you let out a deep sigh. “He’s alone. I need to be there. I don’t even know what I’m doing here—”

“You’re here with me,” Jin explains, attempting to calm you. “He’s in there with doctors. The moment his eyes open, you’ll be there. I promise you.”

You nod, still not fully convinced. 

“You want to wait in his room, don’t you?” Jin guesses. He’s right of course, he just wants you to confirm it. 

You smile at him weakly. “Please?”

He pulls you in for a hug and squeezes you tight. “Only if you promise me you’ll get some sleep before he wakes up.”

“I promise.”

This is a no brainer for Jin. He’d give you anything you want.. It just sucks that he gets the short end of the stick. That though he’s the one holding you, protecting you right now, it’s still Jungkook you’re thinking of. He gets it. This is your best friend and his injuries are serious enough for surgery.. He gets that this is all so overwhelming for you.. But what about him? This is you. You’re again in a position where of course you’ll be picking Jungkook over him. 

Maybe Hoseok had a point. 

But it’s okay. It’s whatever. Jin brushes of his new realization and reverts back to his old thoughts—the time you two went camping. Here, Jin finds himself wondering when the day you’ll pick him over Jungkook will ever come again.

... So much for only needing Jin. 

When Jungkook wakes up, he knows exactly where he is. 

The ceiling looks familiar. The bed and gown feel familiar. The only thing he didn’t expect to see is Jin asleep on the loveseat across the room, asleep with his arms crossed. Confused, Jungkook turns his head and sees you asleep beside him. 

Your chair is squished the closest it can be to his bed. Your arms are crossed while your head rests on top of them like a pillow. Your body is slumped over his side with your hand on top of his. It covers the IV and all he can think is; shit.

In all honesty, Jungkook can’t say this sight makes him happy but he isn’t exactly feeling the worst with how close you are to him. It’s odd. It’s mixed feelings of being comforted that you’re by his side, but also loathing himself for being the reason why you are where you u are right now. He lifts his arm to touch you. 

Rather, he tries to and fails. 

He lets out a stiff groan and it shifts no other than Jin awake. 

“Woah, hey,” Jin gets up to be by Jungkook’s side. He helps Jungkook adjust his arm and gently places it comfortably for him. “Don’t move too much. You literally just got out of surgery.”

“Is she mad at me?” Jungkook murmurs, throat dry from… Well, everything but it doesn’t matter. It’s you that matters and he can’t shake the feeling of guilt off. “On a scale of 1-10, how mad is she at me?” 

Jin shakes his head with a soft smile. “She’ll be glad you’re okay.”

Jungkook glares at him. “Don’t sugarcoat it,” he commands. “She’s pissed and you’re doing that hero thing.”

Again, Jin shakes his head. This time, no smile. “Why is it so hard for you to accept that people can care about you without an ulterior motive?” 

“Because we come from rich families that prioritize business over feelings. You don’t fall that far from the tree, Jin. Only ___ and I do.” Jungkook barely is able to make out this sentence. His voice goes quiet and dry. 

Seok Jin sighs, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll grab you some water and food.. I’ll probably look for your doctor on my way back to check up on you.” Jin then moves to the other side of the hospital bed and bends down to his knees. There, he taps you awake and moves your body back to lean against the chair. 

There, you wake up. 

“Hey,” Jin says softly. “Guess who's awake?”

You rub your eyes, focusing on Jungkook whose face completely softens at your gaze. Jin then rubs your back and excuses himself, giving you and Jungkook some well-needed space. The way Jin and you hold hands for a moment, fingers lingering and looking so delicate intertwined… Jungkook doesn’t miss it. 

If anything, it inspires him to cough and ask Jin to hurry up. 

Jin chuckles and complies. You sit still, staring at Jungkook. The moment Jin exits the room and you hear the door click, Jungkook opens his mouth to say something and then closes it. 

“You better fucking pray that door isn’t locked because I’m going to kill you.”

You stand up and raise your hand. You’re so angry. No, beyond that—you’re furious. Thank god he’s okay, but wow, did he need a beating? He’s already all scratched, bruised, and broken up.. What’s another injury to the list right? Jungkook’s eyes widen and he immediately winces. 

“Ow!”

“I didn’t even hit you yet!” 

“Well, maybe don’t hit me at all! Look at this!” he cries, nodding towards his injuries. “I’m already hurt.”

“You deserve it,” you say sternly. “Idiots deserve to be hurt.”

Jungkook sighs, nodding with his eyes closed. “I know, I know,” he mumbles. “But I’m your idiot.”

“Why do you do this?” you ask him. “You know I hate hospitals. You know my situation here with my family. You know how much I hate you riding your motorcycle, yet you went off without a helmet? Again?” 

Every part of you begins to burn. You’re aching inside, that’s the truth. You hate that he does shit like this. It makes you feel like you’re not important enough for him to stay alive. What kind of best friend puts you in this position?

You know that, yes, maybe these thoughts and feelings are selfish.. But who fucking cares? He could have died. He could have left you without saying goodbye. This.. Him being hurt like this was the best case scenario.

 “Like, remember when we were younger and you would get into fights at every party we went to? Why hasn’t that changed? Why do you keep hurting yourself? Why are you smiling? It’s not funny. You think this is funny—”

“I was trying to get your attention,” Jungkook smiles weakly. His answer is simple it confuses you. You don’t even know how to respond to him. 

“I don’t know what to do with you! What if I had to call your parents and let them know that their son is a complete idiot because he’s unsafe and a terrible listener—” for the second time, you raise your hand to hit him. Jungkook doesn’t wince this time or move away. Instead, with his decent hand, he grabs yours and pulls you close.

You plop onto his bed and he tugs you closer. 

“You could have died,” you fret. It’s soft and it breaks his heart. Practically nose to nose, you find it in yourself to glare at him. “You get that, right? You could have really died.”

“Hey,” you turn away when he begins. He moves his face to meet with yours. “It worked, right?” 

“What worked?”

“I got your attention. On the plus side, I’m here and I’m okay,” he attempts to laugh and nods at his injuries. “… For the most part.”

“Not funny.”

“But most importantly, you’re here.” 

You look at him with care and so many conflicting feelings. How could he make such a painful moment feel so tender? It only causes you to ache. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes but you ignore them. Looking up and breaking away from your closeness with him, you blink away the tears. 

You sniff, “I’m here, Jungkook. I always have been.”

He shakes his head and mutters, “not in the way I want you to be.”

“Jungkook—”

“You never choose me,” he begins. Now, you turn to meet with his eyes. His eyes that are suddenly beginning to pool with tears. It’s weird. Automatically, it feels weird because come to think of it... You’ve never really seen him cry before. You begin to panic. 

“What’s this about, Jungkook? What’s going on?”

He swallows. 

It’s now or never, right?

It’s you forever or losing you to whoever.. Jungkook gathers whatever is left of courage and belief in himself for this very moment. It should have happened in the garden. But a hospital bed and an injured body will just have to do. 

“I’ve been waiting forever for you to choose me the way you choose him. I didn’t even think that was a thing, ___… Until you started choosing him.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask genuinely confused. Is he talking about Jin? Of course, he’s talking about Jin.. But what is he really trying to say?

“It’s like you choose him because you want to and it feels like you choose me because you’re used to it. Like you have to. And look, I get it. Love isn’t something I can say and expect you to believe. It’s something I have to show you over and over again because frankly, you’re so fucking dense. Just because you see me as the boy you grew up with doesn’t mean I’m not a man. I’m a man, ___. I’ll show you what I mean if you let me.”

You blink. 

Is he saying what you think he’s saying? ... Right now? 

Where is Jin? He should be back soon.. God, what should you do right now? Pull away? You don’t know! Maybe you should—

“Don’t do that,” Jungkook stops you. “Don’t move away. Not right now—just, please… Listen to me, ___ because I... I don’t know what I’m doing anymore if it’s not about you or for you.”

Your breath hitches. 

Then, Jungkook tugs you towards him again. 

“I’m confused,” you admit. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. In my mind, I have chosen you every single day of our lives.”

“Don’t be with him,” he begs you. “Be with me.”

“I am with you—“

“___, I’m serious,” Jungkook warns.

“So am I,” you pout. You’re beginning to feel a little uneasy and he can tell. It makes him feel uneasy too, but honestly? Fuck it. “Jungkook, what the hell is this about? Are you oka—”

“Why are you so oblivious?”

“I am not!”

“I’m gonna say it,” he confesses, raising his tone.

“Say what—“

“I’m in love with you.”

You gulp. 

“Hobi said you had feelings for me before. When?” He asks nonchalantly. It scares you how casually he says it like he’s known it for so long it’s no longer surprising to him. Has he?

“What?” you try to play it cool. So many thoughts begin racing through your mind. This is a sick joke! How could he be playing with your emotions given the circumstances? Jungkook is unbelievable and so is Hoseok! “He’s a liar.”

“Look at that,” he points at your bottoms. You bow your head down and stare at your bottoms, again, confused as fuck. “Your pants are on fire.” Jungkook teases. 

You look up at him and gasp. “Just for that, I’m never telling you.”

“So you did have feelings for me,” he smirks, catching you red-handed. Before you open your mouth to protest, he beats you to it. “Doesn’t matter.. I’ll find out soon enough. Right now, the point is, you liked me.”

“So what?” you cross your arms, feeling a little threatened by his knowledge. 

“You liked me once, you can do it again.” You’re stunned. Your entire world goes silent as you stare into his eyes and he just smiles cheekily. You struggle to find the words—any words!

How could he just do this to you? Out of nowhere? Is this what he wanted to tell you in the garden? Everything is beginning to feel like never before. Maybe because you have never seen this side of Jungkook before. He’s smooth? He’s saying such outrageous things but yes. He has your fucking attention and now you’re... Nervous? Around him, nay, because of him? 

Are you fucking serious? 

“You’re insane,” you giggle. “You little prankster! Just saying random shit to get out of trouble with me—”

“I am insanely in love with you, you dense piece of shit.” 

“Hey!”

He blinks at you slowly, his mouth curving into a smile. “Hi.”

You’re choked. 

Has he always looked like this? Suddenly, you’re noticing things you haven’t paid attention to because you’re trying to avoid his eyes. 

Wow! Look at those tattoos. 

Woah! Cool blanket.

No way! Such a nice quality hospital gown.

“Look at me,” he protests. You listen and instantly you feel weak. You’ve never been nervous around him. Well, not in this way. It feels like the time when he mentioned you were his type—oh god. 

And the time he held you when you grieved over your grandmother. Oh, and the times after that when he’d make you pancakes and—

“I’m in love with you,” Jungkook repeats. “I have loved you for so long that I don’t remember a day when I didn’t.” 

“Take it back,” you spit. “Take everything you just told me back because—”

“Because you don’t love me back?” His suggestion sounds more.. Insistent. Could he be right? Could he be wrong?

“Because you’re lying.”

“Why would I lie about loving you?”

You don’t know.

You stay silent, unsure of how to answer him. Could you answer him? 

“I know you, ___. I know I can’t rush into loving you so I stood by your side all these years to get you to warm up to me. I have done everything I can to be everything for you but to be the man you love. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I’m reaching for something that’s impossible. I mean, it’s us, ___.” 

Fuck. 

“I’ve been yours for so long,” Jungkook admits. 

Say something!

You’re driving him crazy. You know it too.. Still, you keep your mouth shut and your his eyes search for answers in yours. Soon, he gives in. 

“Keep playing stupid if you want,” Jungkook proposes, hinting that he’ll back off for now. He shifts his position, making himself more comfortable. He then raises his hand and pats your head. You look up at him with the biggest eyes filled with wonder. Then, he tucks your hair behind your ears before cupping your face. Jungkook leans in and says, “but I’m done, ___. I need you to know and I need you to love me back.”

“Jungkook, I do love you—”

“___,” 

“No, seriously—”

“Shut up.” 

You’re just digging a deeper grave for yourself. He’s already getting embarrassed over this. He wasn’t even sure if he expected you to reciprocate or reply to his feelings.. He just needed to tell you. 

“Listen to me—”

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll do it,” he implies. “I’m serious.”

Do what? You’re beyond frustrated. Your blood pressure is probably through the roof right now. “I’m serious too! Jungkook, what if you’re feeling this way because—”

“I love you.”

“Jungkook—”

“I love you.”

You groan, “stop it! Jungkook, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” he urges. 

Frustrated, you pull away. “Jungkook—”

“Shut up.”

“Jungkook, you’re being mean,” you cry.

“Let me make it up to you then.”

And then it happens—everything stops. After such a hectic conversation, this was definitely a way to end it on a… Surprising note. You aren’t sure why or how but you shut your eyes and let it happen.

The world, in which you and Jungkook had made together, moves slowly as he leans in and kisses you for the first time.

[2af-afterdark]

Too many thots, so little time

(And I don’t want to overflow with asks SOS)

Phenix sweet boy Phenix, getting to pound you would be quite the sight to see

But also keeping Ronove’s and Glassy’s c0ck warm would be something as well

Lucifer is very lucky that we don’t know what his kink is (Depending on what it is, I will pounce on him like a chew toy)

But Mammon X MC X Eligos will forever be my permanent brain rot

🦩

You can tell when I must have gotten this since it mentions not knowing Lucifer's kink yet. lol Hope you all enjoy being reduced to tears (goodness knows I do)

We all know Phenix is a favorite around these parts. You aren't the only anon that wants to poke him with a stick and study him in the lewdest ways. That poor man will be wrung completely dry and still be happy to keep going for as long as MC can. What a little menace.

.......I would warm Ronove and Glassy's cocks at the same time. Unleash my inner ho and make sure neither of them is neglected for a moment. I would be grateful for the opportunity and I would thank them if they decided warming wasn't enough. I am weak for them! Okay! There I'd nothing holy about my thoughts when it comes to these two.

I have Lucifer on a leash right next to Leviathan and Gabriel. They have a special place in my heart right now. The part of my heart that wants to bully them. They live there rent free.

I just... there are so many possibilities and combinations. I can't wait until next month so we can finally see what they are really like. Ehehehe

[kookiestiddies]

the way we are | 1

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

genre: drabble series, college au, enemies to lovers >:), pining, fluff, angst, and smut (in later chapters)

➔ He got on her nerves and he knew it. She took his heart and she doesn't know it yet.

wc: 2.6k

warnings: swearing, mild injury, reader is grumpy, mentions of flashing (???), attempted humour, typos and grammatical errors prolly

notes: okay hi. i posted a teaser for this a hott while back and have only just decided to post it lol purr so slay🤡. it's also no longer a one shot ahaha 🤡. there'll be no fixed schedule for this bcs I have commitment issues rip so good luck to ya'll honestly. happy reading! feel free to lmk your thots :8) 👍🏼

The hallway is empty. The dingy overhead light casts a warm glow over the space outside your apartment and is your only other company there. Aside from him of course. You’re both standing there, facing each other. There’s barely a hair’s width between you two.

When did he get so close?

While both you’re breaths are picking up, you take a moment to look through his features. His strong jawline and chiselled cheeks are relaxed now. His hair’s been messed with by the wind, but it somehow doesn’t hinder his handsomeness, only adding to it. He’s softly biting his bottom lip. His eyes are looking into yours; they’re filled with something you think you recognise from your own reflection in the mirror.

He starts leaning closer to you, eyes shifting their attention to your lips - and you do the same. Soon enough, you feel his breath warming the lower part of your face. Both your eyes lower shut, giving into the tension in the air.

Just before your lips touch...they don’t. You’re about to raise a sound of protest when he beats you to it.

“Y/n,” he breathes out.

Gosh, the way your name rolls off his tongue.

“Can I kiss you?”

You let out a snort at that. Of all the things you’ve said that he remembers, of course, it’s that. You don’t recall his arms ever coming up around your waist, but they’re there now and you feel him chuckling.

“Please, can I kiss you?” he asks again while he gently rubs your back. You nod in response.

“That’s not enough. I need to hear you.”

“Yes-”

You barely manage to push out the last syllable before he brings his lips onto yours in a devouring kiss.

3 years ago...

Fuck yeah!

That’s what you think to yourself as you try to catch your breath; an impossible feat considering the fact that you’re lugging along 3 thicc overpriced textbooks. And not to mention the fact that you’re racing across campus because it’s only the first day of your college career and you happened to be late.

Sure, maybe it could be considered your fault because you hit the snooze button five times too many. Maybe you only further sealed your fate by taking too long in the shower. However, in your defence, it should be decreed a social injustice for classes starting earlier than 11 am to be acceptable. Rest and hygiene come first about all else, yup yup.

You were so focused on reaching the destination that you missed to sound of the bell ringing overhead the campus coffee shop entrance on your side, signalling someone’s rushed exit.

So imagine your surprise when you find that your race to the class that’s 2 minutes away from starting is brought to a halt when you’re suddenly sent flying perpendicular to the direction you were going in by an unseen force only to land harshly on the lawn in front of the coffee shop.

You see it all happening in slow motion: you’re rapidly reaching the ground but not before you jut out your arms to hopefully prevent your face from getting too intimate with the muddy ground. Your ultra-premium textbooks leave your grasp to land in-

Oh NO!

A puddle.

While you sit there in shock, barely processing what just happened, you hear someone swearing nearby from the direction of the coffee shop. You look up towards it to find a pair of doe eyes looking back at you. The owner of said doe eyes is crouching ahead of you; a boy, around your own age. You know this because of the freshman ID card swinging from his neck.

Your cousin had told you that freshmen were ever enthusiastic enough to actually wear their student tags and that students will most probably get over it around their 2nd semester.

Before you can take a good look and process him, he’s already up on his feet and quickly picks up a bag scattered haphazardly next to him. You snap out of trance and call out to him as he makes a move towards the main campus buildings.

“HEY!”

He hesitantly stops and looks around at you. “What?!”

What’s with his tone?!

“Where do you think you’re going? You knocked me down!” you say as you get up haggardly.

“I’m sorry, but I’m already late for my class, I’ve got to go,” he replies quickly and starts scurrying away.

“WHAT?!” you yell to his retreating back to no avail. Oh, now you’re mad.

An angry pout forms on your face as you mull things over. The sheer audacity of that stupid boy.

You pick up your bag and your now wet and ruined grand piano of a textbook set with a groan and angrily huff your way towards class, which you are now officially late for.

Imagine meticulously planning out your first day at college from hour to hour, only to end up becoming the loser that shows up to class late with a

Operation Have A Positively Impressionable First Day of College: FAILED.

You would continue your run to class if it weren’t for the fact that your knee was sore as a result of you getting to 2nd base with the grass which led to you limping the rest of the way.

Maybe people are kind, maybe it was the fact that your anger and annoyance were monstrously visible to anyone passing by, but thank fuck, everyone moved away from you as you stormed your way to class. Thanks to your encounter with that fuckhead tarsier of a boy earlier, your mood is now at its lowest setting and you simply cannot tolerate anyone else for the rest of the day probably.

It can’t possibly get any worse, right? Wrong.

When you finally make it to class, you were 4 minutes late and three significant things happened one after the other:

#1 You had to face the embarrassment of 200 pairs of eyes, plus the lecturer”s, witnessing your walk of shame as you cautiously entered the class like a gazelle.

2# All the seats towards the front were taken up so you had no choice but to find an empty seat towards the back of the class.

3# By your luck, you realised too late that you were seated right in front of an annoyingly familiar face.

He tried to hide from you.

You know this because he looked at you straight in the eyes, visibly panicked and lied his head on the table with his hoodie and arms shielding him, pretending to be asleep.

Tch, pathetic!

You took your seat with a huff and your bench mates knew better than to start up the awkward Day-1 pleasantries and small talk with you.

Thankfully, the rest of the class went by as smoothly as can be, though you did feel the heat of someone staring at you at the back of your neck. You tried your best to ignore it by forcing all your attention toward the lecture.

When the end of the class came around, you were quick to exit the class.

Frankly speaking, you’ve had enough of today.

As you turn down the hallway, you bump into Nayeon, a friend you’d made during the freshmen orientation.

While you were still deciding on whether you should project a more introverted or extroverted personality onto all the new people you’d be meeting in college, Nayeon made the choice for you by taking up your neighbouring seat and starting a conversation with you about the shitty AC in the hall. In less than an hour, you’d already gotten to know all about her eight exes and how two of them almost gave her STDs and one of them almost gave her a whole baby. You were still contemplating which one would have been worse.

“Y/n! Oh, thank god you’re here! Y/nieee, today has been such a nuisance and it’s barely 12 pm!” she cries while sliding her arm in yours as you both start walking in sync towards the college cafeteria.

Hah!

“You know, Mercury must be in retrograde or something because my day has been awful so far as well,” you say with a downward tilt of your mouth.

“Oh? Does that have anything to do with your whole ‘I’m a Persian cat who just woke up’ cosplay thing you’ve got going on? Lovin’ the limp by the way. It really adds to the whole vibe” she retorts with a cackle. You can’t help but giggle along with her until you remember the reason for your haggard get up.

“Ugh, there was this idiot who knocked me over on my way to class this morning and he ran off without even bothering to help me up. Look at what happened to my textbook!” you cry and show Nayeon your super nastay and thicc textbook, now reduced to a damp and muddy stack of papers.

“Ew, what was his problem?!” she asks and you giggle at her disgusted look. You’re both quiet as you reach the cafeteria and get some food on trays. “C’mon, you can sit with me and my friends,” Nayeon says as she leads you to a table that seats a group of people you have yet to see around campus.

“Hey guys, meet Y/n. She doesn’t really know anybody around here so she’ll be joining us” she says to everyone at the table nonchalantly, your embarrassment at her pathetic description of you going unnoticed. You blush while offering an awkward greeting to everyone.

The table hosts three other characters: the first boy wears what could possibly be the most fashionable attire you’ve seen around the campus along with a bright smile that competes with the Sun. “Hey, I’m Hoseok but you can call me Hobi,” he introduces himself and offers his hand for you to shake.

The second boy has a pretty face, a lovely smile and dainty air to him. “I’m Jimin! Nice to meet you,” he says.

The other girl has pretty pink, shoulder-length hair and sports and even prettier smile. “I’m Chaeyoung, it’s a pleasure to have another pair of tits aboard!” she says and you laugh awkwardly at that.

You take your seat and set your food on the table along with your ruined material gworl textbooks. Hoseok peeks a curious look at them, you notice, but he doesn’t say anything. But his question is abundantly loud, so you answer it for him anyway.

“Some turdball knocked me over this morning on my way to class and they dropped right into a puddle,” you say with a pout.

“Oh? Does that also explain the Mother Nature cosplay you’ve got going on right now?” he replies with a cheeky grin and you know he’s making fun of you.

Is he sizing you up??

“Oh this? This is a meticulously thought out fashion choice honey. Don’t you guys think it’s avante-garde?” you retort exaggeratedly which sends the table in a fit of giggles, including Hoseok, whose laughter rings louder than the rest.

“Also, what’s up with you guys and cosplays? Nayeon made a comment earlier too,” you bring up. Somehow, it causes Jimin to spiral into a choking fit and the rest of the group starts knowingly laughing.

“Oh, you’re gonna LOVE this!” Chaeyoung bellows towards you.

She’s interrupted by Jimin who whines “Chae, for the love of God, can you please shut up about that?! It’s literally not even funny anymore!”

“Yes it fucking IS! Go on Chae,” Nayeon urges on.

“It’s an inside joke right. When we were in high school, mister cool guy over here took part in a fucking Joker & Harley Quinn cosplay competition with one of our other friends. This idiot here was Harley and he fucking flashed the whole audience with his ass hanging out from under his skirt the whole time!”

The whole table hollers with laughter, except for a violently blushing Jimin. In between your giggles, you ask Jimin “Did you guys win though?” The table erupts in another round of laughter as Jimin mutter an angry “No.”

“OH MY GOD, THERE’S EVEN A VIDEO! Nayeon, where’s that video Jungkook took?” Hoseok yells.

“STOP!” Jimin yells but it’s too late.

In lighting speed, Nayeon whips out her phone and shows you what truly is Jimin’s ass hanging out from under a skirt as he prances about the stage in true Harley Quinn fashion. There’s another handsome boy next to him dressed in a Joker costume. “That’s our friend, Taehyung, by the way, and Jungkook is my younger brother,” Chaeyoung adds.

“Jesus fuck, do you have that video on standby or something? You pulled it out so fast,” Jimin whines qt Nayeon. “I have it saved as my live wallpaper babe,” Nayeon replies and sends a flying kiss towards Jimin which earns her a swear thrown at her face in return.

“Speaking of Jungkook, where is he anyway? His class should have ended by now, right?” Hoseok queries.

“Hmm yeah, he was in the same class as Y/n actually. Did you see him?” Chaeyoung turns to you. Your attention is still focused on the phone in her hand as you reply, “Sorry, I was a little preoccupied to notice. Besides-,” you lift your head to look at her.

“I don’t even know what he looks like,” you say with a smile.

“Look out for someone who looks like me, duh,” Chaeyoung teases.

“Well, speak of the devil, here he comes,” Hoseok says and shifts his attention to look over your shoulder.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I had to sort something out with my lecturer,” an eerily familiar voice says behind you.

No.

Fucking.

Way.

You don’t want to turn around.

“No worries man. By the way, say hi to Y/n, she’s watching your video of Tae and Jimin at the comic fest,” Hoseok says with a bright smile.

“Huh? Hmm, kinda weird that you came over just to watch Jimin hyung’s ass reshaping the world,” the new guy acknowledges you and you feel him approaching from behind.

“You’re all horrible,” Jimin says.

The table erupts in a fit of giggles and you suddenly feel a warm hand on your shoulder.

Fuck.

You have to turn around now.

You’re turning around.

“Hi, I’m Jung-” he stops halfway and his eyes widen as he realises who you are.

You fake a wide smile and say “Hi Jungkook. I think we’ve met before,” you say harshly and look at him straight in the eyes. You’re pouring every bit of spite you have crawling around your body into this look. And it seems to pay off with how Jungkook gulps loudly and looks at you with doe eyes.

The whole table has turned to witness your interaction now.

“Oh, you have? Huh, what a small world we live in,” Chaeyoung chirps.

What a small world indeed.

[onsunnyside]

Concept thought for CL:

It’s mid-semester reading week and Steve goes home for the break. Reader is excited to finally get a reprieve from him. Until midway through the week they go into heat. They try to push through it cause they’ve never needed an alpha before and they sure as heck aren’t gonna start now. But to their utter disappointment their hindbrain has become too attached to Steve and they find themselves sneaking across the road to the frat house. They leave their phone behind cause it is meant to be a quick trip just to steal a couple shirts to bring back to their nest. Luckily they encounter no one as they sprint through the house, knowing encountering alphas while in heat would be bad news. But once they reach Steve’s room they’re too overwhelmed by his scent to leave and basically set up camp in his room. They have enough wherewithal to push as much furniture in front of the door as they can to keep the other alphas out. By the time Steve gets back to campus he is pissed cause you haven’t responded to his texts in two days so he storms into the sorority before going home with the intent to teach you a lesson about ignoring him, but no one knows where you are. So begrudgingly he heads back over to the frat only to find all of his brothers hanging out around his bedroom door pounding on it. He asks them what the f they are doing and then he smells the reader. He shoves a couple of his brothers and growls letting them know they better get out of there if they value their lives, that’s his omega in heat in there. Once they are gone he goes to walk in, but is met with resistance (cause his entire set of furniture is blocking the door at this point and you lined it up just so it’s all touching to reach the other wall so he’s essentially pushing against the wall). So he calls out to you and upon hearing him you start moving the stuff cause at this point you are in too much of a heat haze and surrounded by his scent you couldn’t care less that you hate him. Once you open the door he looks at all the furniture that you haphazardly pushed out of the way, he hears you mumble that you had to block the door cause his brothers aren’t your alpha. It’s the first time you’ve said anything remotely acknowledging him as your alpha without intense manipulation from him and he’s torn between feeling smug and still being mad that you weren’t answering him the past couple days. He then decides he’s also mad that you didn’t tell him you were in heat and that you put yourself in the frat house where any number of his brothers could have been tempted into stealing what he was his. So time for your alpha to punish you, while also dealing with your heat. you’ll know better to call him next time you’re in heat.

Sorry that was long, it popped into my head this morning and won’t leave so I thought I’d share lol.

I’m so excited for all the upcoming Howard college stories, they live rent free in my head 24/7

AHH IT IS OFFICIAL—SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN !! I ALREADY HAVE MANY THOTS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS BESTIE !!

[a-plethora-of-peters]

I asked my youngest sibling, @galacticnbinspace , to name people in the Dream SMP as well as in Hermitcraft (not including Pearl and Gem)

Here are the results...

Feel free to reblog with your favorites!

(I have a personal fondness for Wilbur being called Plain Ass and Keralis being called Your Face When You See Your Friend MURDER)

So you guys don't have to struggle with my bad handwriting and get some bonus commentary, here's a list of everyone's new names in order, going down each column, left to right under the cut

DSMP

Dream - Dream (OFC) [The first of the DSMP people my sibling will recognize on this page]

George - Wilbur Soot 2.0 [Xey were very adamant that George looks more interesting than actual Wilbur does lol]

Sapnap - Dan [Fae had no further comments besides that he looks like a Dan]

Callahan - Pancake Cookie [.... Voi isn't wrong, he does look a little like Pancake Cookie from Cookie Run Ovenbreak]

Sam - King Gavin Free [They remembered that Gavin from Achievement Hunter uses a Creeper Skin so they associated Sam with Gavin during his King Gavin Let's Play]

Alyssa - Scene girl that I went to school with [Valid, have a nice day]

Ponk - Wrestler? [I can see where xey were getting those vibes, apparently Ponk's mask made xem think of a Luchadore mask]

Bad - BadBoyHalo [Another of the DSMP members that fae recognized!]

Tommy - Tommy [Two in a row!]

Fundy - JoJo Fox (Xey know he is Fundy but lol) [Voi knows that his name is Fundy and that he is trans fox lad, but they thought that calling him a JoJo Fox was too funny to pass up lol]

Punz & Purpled - Twins? [They know what's up! They know what's up!]

Wilbur - Plain Ass [Xey looked me dead in the eyes as xey said this btw. No emotion. Just deadpan seriousness. Nothing but Plain Ass Motherfucker.]

Schlatt - Schlatt [Fae has watched the How Bad Can I Be animatic a lot so fae can recognize him pretty easily]

Skeppy - Knock-Off Charlie [Voi was a bit miffed that Charlie's skin doesn't actually make him look like a slime person]

Eret - Knock-Off Techno [Ouch. Brutal. I'm sorry Queen. But they have a point...]

Jack and Niki - More Scene Kids [Valid, have a nice day!]

Mexican Dream - Mexican Dream (They thought Italian Dream at first until I pointed out that that was the wrong flag and corrected xemself once I informed xem that he's supposed to be the Mexican flag)

Karl - Art Student [... No comment...]

HBomb - Wannabe Pirate [It's the headband and the coat]

Techno - Techno [BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!]

Antfrost - Naked Furry [Fae died laughing when I told faem that this was the DSMP person that I asked if their name was a viable Warriors Cat name... For the record, fae told me yes, Antfrost is a viable Warriors Cat name.]

Phil - Philza [There were many jokes made about him being a weeb lol]

Connor - Sanic [Because he is not Sonic truly, he is knock-off Sonic]

Puffy - Another Art Student [Fair enough...]

Vik - Discount Steve [When your mom says that you have Steve at home /j]

Ranboo - Ranboo [We joke that voi is a Ranboo kinnie since voi is taller than most of the people in our family and voi loves Hawaiian shirts and the like]

Foolish - Foolish [I think they memorized his skin from all the times I shoved fanart in their face screaming about how people make amazing designs from that blob lol]

Hannah - Thot (Affectionate) [She has those thigh highs which means she's a thot but she's adorable so affectionately a thot]

Charlie - Charlie [After the Skeppy fake-out xey were disappointed in his plain design but said it was still better than Wilbur]

Lazar - Ginger Brave [okay at least he looks like an actual Cookie Run character right?]

Quackity - :) [Voi says that Quackity and Dream should change emoji smilies so that Dream is :] and Quackity is :) because of how their smiles on their skins look]

Tubbo - Tubbo [only guessed him by process of elimination RIP]

Hermitcraft

Bdubs - Terrifying Anime Steve [The big eyes scared them!]

Beef - A Man™ (Xey were annoyed that his skin is so plain and that there were a bunch of other fairly plain skins amongst the Hermits too)

Cleo - Modern Sally (Nightmare Before Christmas) [Cleo does look like Sally ngl!!]

Cub - Appropriating for Science [fae was all squinty at Cub wearing a Pharoh outfit but gave me that response so I guess that's a win???]

Doc - Another one of you fucks!? [the context for this is that out of three groups of YouTubers that do Minecraft videos, I always seem to get attached to the ones with Creeper skins first so this was voi calling me out on my Creeper obsession lol]

Etho - Kakashi (Weeb 2.0) [Philza is obviously Weeb 1.0 lol]

False - Steampunk Scene Kid [Yeah she's got the vibes...]

Grian - Another Plain Man™ [they threw up their arms and was all "OFC! He did!" when I told them that Wilbur got inspired by Grian's skin when making his own]

Hypno - Solid Snake [Can't really argue that my dudes]

Impulse - Why are there so many Plain Men™?? [Yeah Impulse is kinda plain compared to a bunch of the others ngl]

Iskall - Duke Nukem [Honestly I have no words. Xey are correct.]

Jevin - Slime Boy :) [What it says on the tin my dudes]

Joe - Scene Phase Steve [I wanna apologize for voi but voi isn't wrong at all lol]

Keralis - Your face when you see your friend MURDER [I mean... Again... Not wrong...]

Mumbo - Geoff Ramsey??? [I used to draw FAHC Geoff in a suit with a curly moustache so they thought that was what Mumbo's skin is lol]

Ren - Vampire Steve [Not far off the mark if you like to subscribe to Werewolf Ren headcanon]

Scar - Clown Steve [........ No comment......]

Stress - Pastel Girl :) [appropriately menacing imo]

Tango - Edgelord™ [GOD HE REALLY IS THO!! THE DARK CLOTHES AND THE RED EYES? EDGY AF!!!]

TFC - If I see one more Plain Man™, I swear to God-! [Yeah it's kinda plain but that's our Minecraft Grandpa! We go easy on him!]

Wels - A nice Lad! [Knights are always welcome in our household!]

xB - GODDAMMIT [Arguably the plainest of the Plain Men™ after Grian, xB kinda had this coming tbh]

Xisuma - Doom Bee [Initially Master Bee until I pointed out that this was a Doom Guy skin not a Master Chief Skin. We agreed that Doom Bee has a better ring to it lol]

Zedaph - Superhero? [Xey joked about him being Wonder Woman until I told xem that his name is Wormman and xey were all "Ahhhh that explains the pink and the W..."]

[sukirichi]

sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. 

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes! 

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA:  Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~ 

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl 🥵🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE:  listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo  (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists.  She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

[seducing-a-vampire]

I felt called to do this today-- and just generally to shout about how in awe I am of the talent in this fandom!

Tagging all those I tagged here, if you feel like it! And anyone else who wants to share the love! xoxoxo

I limited myself to only one-shots posted in the last few months and still got a little out of control. So, here are just a few of the MANY fics that have blessed my AO3 history lately! 

call it even by @effing-numpties​ (T, 846 words)

“And the road not taken looks real good now And it always leads to you and my hometown” -'tis the damn season, taylor swift

Baz returns home for the holidays and runs into his ex-roommate/almost boyfriend in a pub.

BEST TAG: baz being really dramatic send tweet

MY THOTS: it’s no secret i am a slut for carry on x taylor swift content (and calli keeps gracing us with that!!!), but even apart from that, this is an achingly beautiful fic. The dynamic of seeing each other after years apart and never knowing what could have been is expressed so wonderfully. It’s a hell of an emotional journey in < 1000 words, and I can’t wait for the rest of these evermore fics!! 

I have the power of magic and Vine compilations on my side by @vampire-named-gampire​ (T, 5240 words)

“What’s going on?” I whisper to Penny, who��s gaping at Miss Possibelf, her expression part excited, part horrified. “Listen,” she says, rolling her eyes. (She’s scarily like Baz sometimes. Or Baz is scarily like her.) “That includes memes, Vines, Tik-Toks and whatever else you could think of,” Miss Possibelf says. My mouth falls open as I realize what’s going on. “Are we… are we doing Internet spells?”

BEST TAG: the mage gets owned

MY THOTS: if you somehow missed this gem during COC, please do yourself a favor and RUN to AO3 right now. It’s hilarious and sweet and we truly love to see established relationship moments at Watford! Brought us iconic spells like “Move I’m Gay” which is canon to me now.

left on read by @sncwbaz​ (G, 1671 words)

Baz stared at the texts long enough that his screen almost turned to black again. He was about to close out of the app when a tiny speech bubble with moving dots appeared at the bottom of the chat. It took him a moment and a held breath to figure out what this meant. Simon was typing.

__

Baz can't sleep and decides that reading through past text conversations he's had with Simon is a good way to spend the very early ours of the morning. Things get interesting when he suddenly sees that Simon is typing something. At 3am.

BEST TAG: low key angst 

MY THOTS: a quietly heartbreaking but also hopeful look at simon + baz’s relationship as they struggle to connect sometime pre-WS. They’re tender and hesitant and awkward, and it’s all beautifully written. read this!

NSFW recs under the cut: 

Been In Between by @snowybank​ (E, 1586 words)

“Ready for another?”

Baz splutters. “Absolutely not. I do have a refractory period, Simon.”

Simon and Baz are soft (and hard) and they test some limits.

BEST TAG: just a fuckin SPRINKLE of praise kink and monsterfucking

MY THOTS: Yall. I don’t even know what to say except if you are a human with a pulse you need to read this fic. Lauren is a fucking ICON at writing smut with so many feelings, and this was an absolute masterpiece. The best part of it is ... kind of a spoiler???? At least it took me by surprise and positively melted my heart. So read it and be melted yourself.

Hot in Here by @otherworldsivelivedin​ (M, 2599 words)

Simon Snow can’t dance. At least, that’s what I thought. This fic is pure self-indulgence over the fact that 90s/00s R&B is The Best genre to go dancing to 👌 and my all time favourite HC that Simon can't ballroom dance, but that boy got moves and I will die on this hill.

BEST TAG: A love letter to 90s/00s R&B

MY THOTS: i cry when i think about how much I love this fic. Dem spun the most masterful world in a small space, and it’s just so FUN????? it’s HILARIOUS??? and I just love to see these boys enjoying life. truly an instant classic in my mind.

Envy of the Gods by @motherscarf​ (E, 8526 words, see warnings)

“You are a naiad?” The nymph rolled their eyes. “You are a cow? Or a man. Both?” Their tone was sarcastic. Simon didn’t notice. “I am a man,” Simon frowned. He hadn’t tucked his tail very well- it twitched free as if it wanted to argue with his statement. Simon pretended he didn’t notice. “You don’t… seem like a nymph.” “And what, pray tell, does a nymph seem like?” Sneered the nymph.

Or, Orpheus & Eurydice au, but Simon is a minotaur and Baz is a naiad

BEST TAG: cancel Apollo 2020 

MY THOTS: okay, I admittedly was not a Greek Mythology Gay (tm) and i am woefully lacking in said knowledge, but that did absolutely nothing to lessen my enjoyment of this beautiful and heart-wrenching fic. Also, I’ve since been working my way through percy jackson books for the first time (lol) and this fic has been oft on my mind. The prose is immaculate, and the emotions are soft, and just everything is too too lovely and bittersweet!!!! GAH.

Adams Driver is Well Fit by @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire​ (E, 709 words)

Set Watford 8th year. Simon and Penny watch Star Wars at the cinema. Is Simon really thirsting after Adam Driver - a certified sex god? Or could it be someone else?

BEST TAG: The author isn't into Adam Driver but can sure appreciate good aesthetics

MY THOTS: i am incredibly self-indulgent in reccing this because Di very kindly wrote it for me BUT everyone else should read it too because it is: (1) hilarious, (2) sweet, and (3) truly demonstrates the lengths of simon’s lack of self-awareness. and we love that for him. also in my mind, everyone in CO/WS is a star wars nerd.

[bondsmagii]

Thots on virgos

I’m gonna go one further and give you my thoughts on all the signs just so we’re not stuck doing this until I’ve made my way through the entire zodiac. my opinions are final, you may feel free to fight me but you will not win, and if any of you clowns give me a sign that’s technically a sign but not part of the common run-of-the-mill twelve I will find you and turn your kneecaps into shallow bowls for my hummus dip.

ARIES: top notch, get on very well with Aries, married to one. love the way that they’re always down to get involved with my stupid schemes. appreciate the attitude, love the challenge of being friends with an Aries, and I can appreciate that they’re good with competition. also their personalities are usually strong enough to keep up with mine which has been noted to be extremely forceful lol.

TAURUS: upon first glance never thought I’d get on with a Taurus because I thought they would be too chill, but outside of my current relationship my two most successful relationships were with a Taurus. love how dependable they are, love how they can stay calm even when I’m bouncing off the walls, and love how they always have some kind of creativity in them that’s very often not what you would expect.

GEMINI: honestly don’t understand why these guys get so much shit? I’ve always gotten on with Geminis but then again I’m a drama loving bastard so maybe I just don’t notice if the various accusations are true/if they’re a bad thing lol. I appreciate how curious Geminis can be and it’s a trait I’ve noticed in all my Gemini friends -- absolutely insatiable curiosity, which is a trait I respect. they’ve also been some of the kindest people I’ve known, with impeccable patience.

CANCER: I haven’t known many Cancers and all of them have been batshit insane, but they’ve also been a lot of fun and I’ve loved talking to them. they always seem to have new ideas to bring to the table and while they’re sometimes a little too emotional for me I find it’s not in the weird way? I don’t know, they’re very in tune and unapologetic and bounce from one thing to the next quickly and I find that exciting.

LEO: love the drama. love the flair. love the aesthetics. a lot of people give Leo shit for being arrogant and they are but I love it. I can appreciate a bit of arrogance, so long as the person can back it up. I like the self-confidence of Leos, whether it be genuine or a fake it til you make it kind of deal. also a lot of the Leos I’ve seen have been super hot, too, so good for you guys.

VIRGO: I haven’t known many Virgos and the ones I’ve known have been... interesting. kind of aloof, kind of weird, but not in the bad way. sometimes I’ve been frustrated because I’ve found they like to think deeply into things and analyse and stuff and I don’t often have time for that, but I can appreciate the insight this gives them. it’s practical, and I often fail at being practical, so this is a nice balance.

LIBRA: my best friend in high school was a Libra and she was great. absolute social butterfly that dragged me on numerous adventures. I can appreciate the Libra talent of generally getting people to like them or to at least tolerate them, because that opens a lot of doors that can be used for evil. sometimes want to throttle the Libras I’ve known for always wanting to hear both sides of a story whereas I just want to commit cold hard murder, but nobody’s perfect.

SCORPIO: my worst relationship was with a Scorpio but he was a fucking loser so I’m not gonna judge all Scorpios by his immensely disappointing standards. love the sexiness of the Scorpios I’ve known, and love how they align nicely with me on the evil scale. pretty kick-ass, would rather have one as my friend than my enemy, and most Scorpios I’ve known have had a brilliant fashion sense even if it’s a bit eccentric.

SAGITTARIUS: I don’t think I’ve ever met a Sagittarius. not entirely sure they even exist. I know like one single person who might be one and they were pretty cool. funny, very weird, but always brought something fresh and funky to the table. couldn’t spell “Sagittarius” which makes me think they were definitely one. this seems like a Sagittarius thing to do.

CAPRICORN: the Capricorns I know have always kind of scared me because they’ve been so fucking focused and I just do not know how to do that. like. they were the kind of people who let absolutely nothing stand in their way and I’m just... wow. I am technically a cusp with this sign and if astrology is true I can thank this sign for my ability to get anything done in my life ever because I guess a bit of that rubbed off on me. none of the seriousness did thought. I’m too pretty.

AQUARIUS: sexiest sign. I am also one myself. in theory Aquarius is the coolest sign to be because we’re fun and funky and weird and also evil. we’re stubborn and uncompromising and we have brilliant ideas. I have to say of all the signs I hate Aquarians the most though. like. my one singular piece of proof for there being any truth in astrology is the fact that I have never, ever gotten on with another Aquarius. if we remain acquaintances, that’s fine. anything closer than than and we will have a disastrous falling out that usually involves revenge campaigns or the law. all of the worst enemies I have are Aquarians, including my own mother. from one Aquarius to another, fuck you.

PISCES: from my experience? they’re just Aquarians I can get along with. all the fun stuff in terms of being creative and down to scheme and kind of crazy and with great ideas of their own, but not of the whole being a twisted fucking cycle path thing. all the Pisces I’ve known have been super creative and a lot of fun, but also just like. nice people. also all the Pisces people I’ve known have had a very bright dress style like is that just something youse do? walk around looking like a highlighter factory exploded on a Gucci runway?

anyway if you don’t like this sorry this is just my personal experience with the exception of Aquarius. you’re just mad because you know I’m right.

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey you doing well?? Its been a while, i just wanted to make sure saturn wasn't kicking your ass too much. Idk you're loved and appreciated ❤❤

This is so sweet omg like sorry I have been quiet for a while but its really nice to see that people will notice if I suddenly disappear and people care! 😩 I dunno sorry to sound so dramatic but sometimes we all get that thot like what if I dropped off the face of the earth would anyone care and I know its irrational and caused by mental health stress cause of course people would notice, certainly my boss who would be like bitch you gotta clock in at 8AM where the fuck you at lol. 

Actually things have been ok so far. Just the general Aries season stress but nothing astronomically stressful. Spring Equinox was INCREDIBLE!! We had an incredible zoom celebration and then I met up with some friends of friends which lead me to meet this incredible clique of unfriendly black hottie london afro queer witches and we had a secret rave in someone’s warehouse loft which gave me so much life it like healed me from past traumas of feeling like I don’t fit in like I felt so seen and cherished that whole night. Plus they are all about creativity and living in tune with yourself and they all taught each other how to DJ and use those fancy DJ table sets and they had incredible music sets all night so we danced nonstop. Like I thought I was getting old but I managed to stay up until 7am lol. We had a cat!!! A random cat who lived in one of the warehouses come and crash our party!! He was sooo sweet and cute and probably was intrigued by a group of random magical humans up in the deadass of night during #RealCatHours when most humans would be sleeping so the cat just vibed with us like he came in, found a cozy seat and just sat at the edge of our dancing area as everyone pet and cherished him lol. Shortly after some man with ram horns bust in lol. He was wearing the horns cause it was aries season so he was appropriate. He brought balloons and I have always been apprehensive about doing synthetic substances as I am a child of the earth and will stick to my weeds and plants but I mean if you were ever planning to just experiment with a balloon in your life, why not on Spring equinox on the day of aries season when a strange fae with ram horns crashes your secret warehouse party? It was a good experience lol yolo 

Work started early but for a good reason cause my job changed again and we are working on a new system so my manager actually just wants us to get familiar with the changes before we kick off forreal. We’ve been working from home so its ok. It seems once we get the hang of it it will make our jobs a lot easier so I am grateful. Someone organizing the Spring Equinox readings got a bit sick (thankfully not Covid) but was unwell to continue doing it so I have to arrange them now and I feel a bit overwhelmed cause my weekend I am working so I hope I can sort it out :( I feel like people may be understanding since we all have witnessed that getting sick is No Joke these days. 

My week has just been busy with events and I finally have today and tomorrow off but I know not everyone is free during weekdays which is wack. I would have tried to start organizing yesterday when I was off but I took off to help this ADORABLE farm in Dartford start up their veggie bed with my gardening group. Oh my god it was so cute and magical and they had all kinds of animals grazing in flowering fields and it was such a sensually spring experience. They had so many cute native flowers blooming everywhere. When I got off the rail train my phone directed me to cut through the local woods for a 20 minute walk lol I felt like I was in some harvest moon shit. The woods were full of flowering trees or trees with fresh green shoots and daffodils and it was soo sunny. There was this one very friendly pig at the farm that was huge and smelly but really liked his back being rubbed so I had fun rubbing his back every time I had to run up to the house to use the toilet and back again. 

Anyway now that I have a nothing day I am just sorting through life admin stuff. Thanks for checking up on me. April side of Aries season is always a bit more chaotic for me for some reason so I can’t say how this Saturn transit feels yet but it’s over on the 10th. So far it’s been rewarding and peaceful but I notice my issues with Saturn are really internal cause my native Saturn is retrograde. I feel like its really hard for me to progress in life cause I shut down any budding efforts because they aren’t good enough. It’s pretty crippling but I guess this first transit lesson is to figure out how to get over that for good hopefully. 

Anyway I have rambled long enough. I may be pretty quiet for the rest of Aries season as I try to get my bearings (I am pretty excited but really nervous for Uranus entering my 4th house in April!! 😰) but will be more active here in Taurus season for sure. I think I will just come back to make some important posts for astro transits highlighting the more important ones to grace our presence the day before they hit. I mean I’ve always wanted to do that since I know not everyone has time to read the whole monthly forecast in one go and remember it, but life gets in the way lol. 

[miserabull]

gimme those good good grief thots :eyes:

It shocks me that you, of all people, would ask me for my Grief takes since you get them fresh and still hot from the oven, but fine this is a bit of a double one because I think P1 and P2 Bad Griefs are different enough to warrant it.

First impression:

So, I met P1 Grief first. And I'm gonna be real with you, I wasn't too impressed by his character model. But the way he speaks? The over-the-topness, the sheer disrespect? I was sold. Keep talking weird to me, crime boy.

Playing P2, Grief was already dear to my heart, and with the delicious addition of the Apple Basket/childhood friends thing he easily shot up to the top of my Faves list, solidified by his awesome design and just... the way he’s lounging there on his dumb throne when you walk in. It was one of the moments where I was like, oh, I get it now.. This character was made to appeal to me, personally.

Impression now:

I've gone over all of his dialogue several times. I've picked it apart and discussed it with anyone I could find that wanted to. I have theories, and ideas, and many feelings... I dunno what to say, man, it's kinda embarrassing. Come over and talk to me about Bad Grief. Really love this guy.

and listen to my Grief playlist pls

Favorite moment:

For P1 Grief it’s probably the 'hehehe, see this amulet? I know what you are and I got it to protect myself from beings like you' part. Though every conversation he has with Daniil is a highlight too, and if you told me to pick a favorite line I'd probably end up copy+pasting all of his dialogue. Special mention to when he referred to Dankovsky as “the bitchelor”

For P2 Grief...hmm, hard to pick. The blowing-up-the-train tracks quest comes to mind because even though he acts so weird during it, and there's definitely something shady going on there(what with the creepy kids that set you on it, or Grief going all the way out into the steppe just to be like 'lol what are you, dumb?') it’s a surprisingly nice moment since you are able to sit with him there and watch the fire(even if at the same time you kinda want to choke him for playing you and wasting your time).

I also love his whole "HEY, CUB. Rubin is acting odd and he won't tell me shit, I'm kinda worried. I gave him this hideout right next door, please do not go there and don't check on him. Oh noo, you got me to hint at his secret location... but I will never tell, don’t ask hehe" thing

Idea for a story:

...as you(Micah) pointed out on your answer, we have that Stakh/Grief fic in the works. So. Ya know. That’s an idea.

Putting that aside, give me baby Grief's ascension into crime and how he ruined all his friendships. I wanna hear about the lines he crossed, how that felt on all sides, how he built his gang cred, all that.

I am also always down for speculating on what exactly happened between him and Andrey.

Unpopular opinion:

I don't know if I have one for P1 Grief, because there isn't that much fandom content of him. But I guess maybe that I think that the “he's actually a ruthless killer” twist is, uh... lukewarm. Like, I like that there is a twist and that we find out the one thing he's been passionately denying was indeed his fault all along and that he's much more dangerous than he seems, but 'blahblah thirst for blood and violence' feels like such a bleh motivation.

About P2, I feel like the fandom underestimates him tremendously, and often treats him as just a huge softie and a goof, which is not only annoying as hell, but also overlooks that P1 Grief seemed much less dangerous up until the Changeling route too. I don't think they are going the exact same way in P2, he's much more sympathetic this time around(and younger, and anxious), and I think his reflection tells the truth(albeit maybe incomplete or twisted a bit, the reflections all seem so defensive of their 'masters'...hmm, there’s food for thought), but even with only the Haruspex route out I think it’s reasonable to assume Grief is lying about more than a few things and is capable(and likely responsible) for a lot more than he seems. To quote the Artemy-Lara's reflection dialogue:

"And the most taciturn of us all, Bad Grief. / He speaks so much yet does so much more. "

Favorite relationship:

Oh, you know. Rubin. I could go over how I think they are opposites in some ways but also really similar in many other important ways, and how there is clearly a meaty, complicated history there...  but I'll just be honest and say that I love the potentials in that dynamic, the contrast of their personalities(plus the shared history). Friends-to-enemies-to-tentatively healing friendship-to-lovers. It's just very good shit.

Platonically, I'm a huge fan of him and any of his fellow Apple Basket buddies. Each dynamic there has something special, and I love thinking about it. I'd also love to see more of him interacting with Aspity, since we know he visits the Hospice and listens to her.

Favorite headcanon:

For both Griefs, I like to think he's pretty decent at sewing and makes and/or customizes his own clothes... He has a very particular style, nobody else would get it right.

But also, uh, well... I guess this one is kind of personal, but the way I perceive gender is that it's all performance, roleplaying that people take very very seriously, and you know what Grief is very good at? Putting on a fun performance and playing it up in a satirical way. I like to think if you go Diurnal Ending and Grief is starting again free from the pressure of his role as gang leader , he'd turn it up to eleven as time goes, get some make up and earrings, experiment, mix and match, wander, never quite settle. He's a man, kinda maybe sorta, but mostly just when it’s funny.

[social-buttface]

so uhhh......am i non-🅱️inary????

like, i’ve been wondering for a bit, like a year or more idk. it’s hard to explain bc calling myself nonbinary isn’t necessarily important to me; my gender identity isn’t that important to me* but every time i’m asked my gender on a school/medical survey i sorta cringe but always go with female bc it feels safer (or just “prefer not to say”). but a lil part of me still says “no!! not right!!!” but it doesn’t feel relevant enough to click the non-binary option? & also i don’t know what the consequences of choosing non-binary might be in certain contexts, bc as we all know transphobia is unfortunately Alive and Well in this world. female just feels like a comfortable safe default (and male is an obvious no for me)

(*actually a better way of looking at that would probably be that having others perceive me how i perceive myself isn’t that important to me, like i’m fine being labeled a girl/woman if the situation is such that i wouldn’t feel comfortable pointing anything out to the contrary & i’m cool w being called a daughter/granddaughter/niece/girlfriend/etc)

ig nonbinary is an umbrella term that just means “outside of the binary” which itself falls under the umbrella term transgender which is not identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth. but like what does that even mean, your assigned gender at birth? i’m afab and was raised female but was not shoved into any overbearingly “female” roles. i remember having two cars for my barbies/bratz dolls; one was a lavender colored 2008ish VW Beetle, and the other was a scarlet 2008ish Mustang, and i’d play with whichever one fit my mood better that day. My mom sometimes seemed to take issue with me expressing interest in overtly “feminine” things like disney princesses and frills and tiaras, which made me feel weird about liking that stuff, plus i was fat my entire life since the age of like 7, which stunted my ability to feel feminine in many ways, or to feel allowed to be feminine at all. i never felt desirable or elegant or mysterious or gentle like how i saw other girls (very sapphic of me in hindsight); instead i felt clunky and awkward and repulsive and aimless and hopeless. A part of me really feels like my gender identity and expression are tied strongly to my experience being overweight, and yet another part of me wants to dig past all of that and find the real, raw answer; what i’d be like if i either didn’t grow up overweight or just wasn’t bothered by it. like in Spirited Away and she’s trying to clear all the muck away from the river spirit...just wanna tie a rope to it and yank it out lol

i’ve dressed more femininely since i’ve weighed less in the past few years, but i also dress masc, especially for work. it’s more like i’m hiding my body less at this point (& a lot of that is just coming with age, not even the losing weight, i feel like. like i just care less about what others are thinking most of the time) And i’ve never been close friends with more overtly “feminine” girls - my best/close friends through the years have all been varying degrees of gnc (save for one but that friendship that was more out of proximity & ended,,,badly). i could never relate to the interests and thought processes of the “girly girls” but i don’t think i was even the “i’m not like most girls” type that much because i never let myself really consider myself a girl especially around girls like that. to them i was just the underdog

but i also think of like, what would i have been like, gender identity-wise, if i’d had siblings? or if i grew up in a nuclear family type traditional household? a household that valued and enforced gender roles? or in the 1970’s? how would i feel then? and why do i feel like i need that frame of reference to understand how i feel now, who i actually am, lmao. why does it matter?

i also really crave validation and praise for the more feminine parts of me when it comes to others feeling romantic or sexual feelings for me, but i can’t tell if that’s wanting reassurance of my gender, or reassurance that i am attractive and desirable? i love being in a pretty flowy dress and in brightly colored makeup and 3” heeled boots but i also love my button downs tucked into wranglers and wearing my steel toed scratched up wolverine boots and i’ve strongly considered getting a binder jus to have it (titties too big to actually use it for extended periods of time) and i have a pretty masculine gait. and yes i’m very aware that presentation =/= gender always but they do feel very connected for me

i was drunker when i started writing this and it’s been like 2 hours. i have no idea what i even wanted to say here other than i’m just real confused , but i also wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a timeline in which 25 year old me who openly identifies as non binary is reading back on this and chuckling at what a naive fool i am. an absolute scoundrel, a fiend, a buffoonish rapscallion... tearing myself open like i’m trying to find my hearing aid in a large bush (i speak, unfortunately, from experience...gone but never forgotten R.I.P. left hearing aid 201?-2013) (if you’re in outer banks NC keep an eye out lmao. who am i kidding. it’s in the ocean now)

feel free to comment if ya want. i don’t expect many ppl will read this all the way through & it’s mostly just for me to put these thots down in words before they escape me or i twist it too much for myself, also so i can read back on it in the future. i have corrected so many spelling errors writing this. i must sleep. free the nipple yall.

[clowndaydreams]

Yan!Marvus x Reader

I hope you all like it!

“Can you pass me the potato chips?” You looked over to your companion. Marvus nodded and reached over to get said bag from his side of the couch.

“here ya go.” You grunted a quick thank you to the clown and started to dig in. You had been hanging out with Marvus all day. You still couldn’t believe how friendly you’ve gotten with the superstar since you met him at that concert you went to. It had been a few perigrees since then, but the clown had since made a habit of inviting you over randomly when he was free. You were just happy that he remembered you at all.

Currently though, you were both relaxing on the couch and watching some Slam or Get Culled episodes that he was in. Right now, a season finale was playing. He was the final challenge for that season’s top 2. They had to rap battle him and whoever fared better was the winner.  You glanced over at him. He was in his usual facepaint, but was casually wearing a neon yellow ripped tank top and matching pajama pants with some designer troll logo and ‘JUICY’ all over them. How he managed to look so hot in that would forever elude you. You snapped out of it when he started speaking again.

“u kno, i thought ricard was the better 1 outta those 2.” You pretended to glare at him.

“SPOILERS!” You jokingly huffed, lightly shoving his arm. It didn’t move, as you’d expect.

“LOL! XoD sorry fam, seen dis crap 1000 times alreddy.” Wait, then why did he let you pick this episode? Or even agree to watch this with you? If this was boring you could do something else. And as if he could read your mind, he held up a hand.

“dun worry bout dis. is chill or w/e. butt srsly, u kno who gunna win.”

“Still! I wanna watch it!” You giggled. You both watched on in silence as Marvus was brought on to surprise the contestants.

“How were they behind the scenes?” You asked as you watched the confessionals for both of the contestants.

“ricards moirail b a clown, so me n him knew each other alreddy. he wuz p chill i guess lol.”

“What about Krayaa?”

“turns out she wuz a fangirl. foamin at the mouth n erythng.”

“Really?!” You turned to him to try and see if he was lying. He looked almost bored about it all. Like you were both talking about the weather or something. You wished you could be so relaxed about meeting a rabid fangirl and somehow living to tell the tale. Seadwellers were supposed to be stronger and more durable than landdwellers. At least, that was according Polypa anyway. Huh, you had to remember to check on her later after you got home too.

“ye. she wanted 2 pail after the shoot.” Your jaw dropped. Krayaa was a seadweller! Did he have to listen to her? She could have killed him for not listening!

“Nahhh, no worries,, the contract she signed for the ep woulda had her disqualified and mah bodyguards woulda whooped her b4 she had a chance. ;op” He chuckled. “If she managed 2 get thru them, I aint no wimp.” He added, flexing his arms a little to prove his point. You almost couldn’t stop staring. He had to know what he was doing to you…right? Granted, this was a crush you had no intention of pursuing. If you were speaking honestly, Marvus was a guy who probably didn’t want commitment due to his lifestyle. Even then, he had people throwing themselves at him constantly. People his own species. People who were a lot better fitting with his general aesthetic and not some poor wandering alien that he would DM when he was high when they both should have been sleeping. Your own concepts of relationships and types of love were different. But you could dream, right? You were content with just having him as your designated hot friend anyway. …That did mean you were allowed to drool over him in your mind. As long as it doesn’t get creepy to him. Yeah. You were fine.

“u gud (Y/N)? u tryna lure snacks into ur mouth or smth?” You snapped out of your stupor.

“Ew! Gross! I don’t eat bugs like you weirdos!”

“it aint gross. literally free snacks u can catch. :o)” He laughed.

“Where I’m from they’re gross!” Granted, there were places that did eat crickets and the like on Earth, but you would never tell him that.

“dun knock it till ya try it.” He got up and left the room, returning after a moment with a small box.

“…What is that.” You had a sinking feeling you knew what it was.

“chirp grubs.” He opened it and there they were. Disgusting caramelized crickets.

“I can’t.” You shook your head.

“more 4 me lol.” You looked away as he ate a few of the crickets. You looked back at him when his palmhusk rang. It sounded like a clown horn version of one of his songs. Fitting, honestly.

He glanced at it and rolled his eyes before silencing the phone.

“Who was that?”

“thottie.”

“Oh…” He looked bored again. Not good. What could you talk to him about to keep him interested?

“Uh…You ever get tired of the fans trying to aggressively pail you?” Ok, that wasn’t the best choice for conversation. Your bad.

“i meannn….in the beginning yeah. now its kinda the norm 4 me ufeelme?”

“Yeah, I guess. Does it ever make you feel like you can’t have a relation-er, quadrant?” You assumed it would, but that would also come with fame in general, wouldn’t it? You weren’t sure. Then again, if he didn’t want-

“kinda. i think its kinda funny how i can attract psychos, fans and thots, but not my crushes.” You sat up straight. Marvus had a crush?

“Wait. You…uh…are pale or um….red? for somebody?” You didn’t have the best grasp on quadrant terms.

“lol sumtimes i forget your an alien.” He leaned back onto the couch.

“butt yeah, i have a few crushes at the mo.” He smiled, staring at the ceiling.  Few. He has more than one crush right now. That soft smile said it all. He had it bad.

“…Can you tell me who they are?” He looked over at you and looked sheepish.

“i…dun think is a gud idea.”

“Please? I have to know who the great Marvus Xoloto has a crush on.”

“u kno 1. itll be awk af :o(“ Now you had to know. Now you were thinking about whether or not Marvus had a type. What if they were all mega hot models? Wait! Did he have a crush on Chahut? They would totally have to know each other. Who else did you both know??? He heard of Cirava, but you didn’t think they talked. Who???

“…kk fine. only if u slam a faygo tho.” You gave him a look.

“Isn’t Faygo…not for non-clowns?”

“is just us. whos gunna kno?”

“You promise nobody’s gonna know?”

“on my life. u slam a faygo, n ill tell u who my flush be.” You thought it over. You remembered tasting the stuff at clown church when you went you went with Chahut that one time. Just a sip left you a bit tipsy. A whole bottle may have rendered you unable to be coherent enough to even process who his flush crush was. Would it be worth it? You felt a choice coming on. Either way you had to drink a certain amount in order to maybe try and learn this random troll’s identity. The question was, do you try and counter his offer or just slam the entire bottle and hope for the best?

…

It would be better to respect your own limits. A bunch of your friends had lectured you a few times over putting yourself out just to potentially make a friend. This would piss them off and would probably not end in your favor even if you did decide to just go with it anyway.

“How much faygo do I have to drink?”

“hm…” He got up, went to the kitchen and got a small can of Grape Faygo, a normal bottle for one and a whole 2 liter bottle. “imma b nice. u get a choice. u gotta try 2 finish the can. u get 1 q with the name if u finish the can. Smol bottle gets u 2 qs and the name n the 2L gets u as many qs as u liek. fair enough 2 u?”

…Now you wanted to chug the 2 liter. You haven’t even seen anyone try to down that other than the Grand High Blood once when you took Karako to clown church for the first time. But that guy was a clown and he is HUGE. You, not so much. But, you chose to respect yourself for once. You’d see how you felt after the small can and go from there. You picked it up, opened the can and took a deep breathe. Powers that be, let this not wreck you and let this answer be worth it. If he cops out with his answers, you would try to hurt him. You started chugging. You did your best to try and treat it like a shot like Cirava taught you so you wouldn’t taste the overly sweet flavor too much. After a moment of light agony and attempting to not drown in the soda, you reached the end of the can. You slammed it onto the coffee table and started panting. Ok, you weren’t feeling woozy like before. Maybe those tiny sips when you went to clown church helped your body get used to it.

“u gunna try the otha bottles?” You managed to shake your head. You weren’t gonna do that again. Your head started hurting. You looked over at him. Were his eyes always so vibrantly purple? Woah, now they’re flashing purple. What the heck? Was this Faygo high? You now understood why all the other clowns were so goofy after drinking a cup of this stuff. Crap, now your head was starting to hurt.

“Wh-Who….who is it..?” You started feeling like you were gonna pass out. You laid down on the couch. You needed to close your eyes. That was way too much for you. You felt Marvus pick you up into his arms.

“ye…after u wake up bb.” Wake up? Wait, did he just call you a pet name?! You were about to question him when he tilted his head.

“dangg,, u managed 2 stay awake with chuckles and faygo? ur stronger than i thought. Soz bout this babes.” His eyes became blindingly vibrant again and you blacked out.

[trethepoet]

Contrary to unpopularity Kanye West is still my favorite rapper. No one asked me, but I am writing the story sooo I’m just giving you a little intro before I get into it…

Now...anyone that knows me well (about 18 people) knows that my favorite quote is from a rapper that is NOT Kanye West. “You can do it put your back into it” is my absolute favorite lyric/quote/mantra what have you. YeahEYeaheeee (is that how you spell that?). Anyway I repeat that Ice cube quote literally everyday. I have another favorite quote. I don’t know how many favorites you can actually have but Spellman University’s (an HBCU not as great as NCCU, but I’m biased) motto- “Find a way or make a way”- have been so inspirational to me daily.

Light the sage and tell Alexa to que Jazmine Sullivan - any song because they’re all my mood right now- and listen to this shit...

Have you ever? Hypothetically of course...

Have you ever been served a civil suit for temporary and full custody of your infant breastfeeding daughter by your fiancé with whom you share a residence?

Have you ever been told repeatedly that “nobody likes you”, “you’re mean”, “you’re unkind”, “you don’t answer the phone pleasant enough”, “you’re a horrible mother because you allowed your four-year-old child to call another man (that’s living under the same roof) dad?

Have you ever been told “I wish you would die” as you hold your beautiful one-month old baby daughter by the man with whom you thought you grow old?

Have you ever been accused of “trapping” someone with a baby and only wanting their money even though you went through the entire IVF process to create a child together by the person who paid for the treatment?

Have you ever been sitting in a room and overheard your boyfriend at the time tell his best friend that you were harassing him about a baby? ...He can’t be talking about the same baby that he just paid $12,000 of his own money to have his ish placed in a Petri dish with my eggs because his count was drastically low.

Have you ever been cheated on so many times that you can’t even gather the tears to cry?

Have you ever been told that you should expect cheating from a man that pays all the bills?

Have you ever been told you should allow disrespect from a man because he’s not a “regular nigga”…he’s wealthy?

Have you ever come home from grabbing a milkshake to find your friend disheveled and flustered, rushing to her car barefoot saying she has to get out of your house?

Have you ever left your drunken friend in your daughter’s bed to keep her safe only to have her accuse your boyfriend of pulling off her panties and giving her a vagina a kiss without her consent?

Has one of your closest friends ever accused your boyfriend of sexual assault/ pretty much rape?

Have you ever had proof that someone was cheating on you and you show that person their own dick pics and they say they didn’t do it?

Have you ever read text messages to another woman from your fiancé and the other woman mentions your name, your daughters name annnnnd knows that your pregnant?

Have you ever heard a rumor that someone from your fiancé’s church was having sex with your fiancé while you were pregnant and find out that it was true?

Have you ever uprooted your small child’s comfortable life to move to a state that you don’t wish to live for a man who picks apart everything you do?

Have you ever been told not to work and then work part time during a global pandemic while you’re pregnant and homeschooling two kids in two different grades and then told months later that you “only came down here and got pregnant for the money”?

Have you ever had your boyfriend curse you out in front of your friends?

Has your boyfriend ever cursed out one of your friends?

Have you ever had lies told on you by your own fiancé in order for him to make himself look good to others who don’t ever care about him?

Have you ever decided to leave and start over with virtually nothing and have a millionaire who is also your child’s father accuse you of stealing lamps al while calling you several “broke bitches”, a monster thot and telling you he doesn’t care if you sleep on the floor but then wants to be friends?

Have you ever had to take your infant daughter and six-year-old to the damn Doubletree hotels and suites to live for 13 nights because the verbal and emotional torture was turning into minor shoving and more intense arguments over nothingness?

Have you ever been accused of not allowing a person to let them see their child when you sleep under the same roof?

Have you ever been accused of using your child as a pawn by someone who was using your child as a pawn?

Have you ever been sent photos of about 20 onesies in a closet telling you that you’ve taken all of the baby shower gifts when you also have the baby?

Have you ever feared for your child’s safety?

Has anyone ever tried so badly to make everyone the introduced you too hate your guts?

Have you ever lost 20lbs of weight in three weeks due to stress?

Have you ever had to move three times with an infant child and a six-year-old in a two-month span of time?

Have you ever been so tired you forget to eat?

Have you ever just been so freaking tired?

Have you ever given up everything and trusted someone and then left with virtually nothing but your clothes and your daughters clothes and toys and still get accused of taking a fucking $79.99 dollar throw rug from Homegoods?

Have you ever felt inadequate?

Has someone ever made you feel like you don’t deserve love?

Has someone ever made you feel like a nutcase for feeling hurt?

Has anyone ever tried to tell everyone that you’re crazy in order to discredit everything you say?

Has someone ever offered to buy you a purse when a random girl found your private Instagram account to tell you the person you love was sucking her pussy in Miami?

Has anyone offered to buy you a bag in order to shut you up about a realtor with very split ends?

Has anyone ever made up lies and woke you up out of your sleep to tell them to you?

Have you ever felt so low you can’t do anything but cry your grown ass to sleep at night?

Has it ever taken you two years to realize it’s not you?

Have you ever been imperfect?

Have you ever just needed to breath and think? …You can do it, put your back into it (lol corny AF, but seriously).

Have you ever had to spend nearly 40K cash (every penny you fucking had) in the span of two months to make sure you and your daughters have a roof over your head and some forks and furniture?

Have you ever been thankful that you were able to do so?

Have you ever had to accept every helping hand extended to you?

Have you ever been postpartum and delirious?

Have you ever wanted to scream fuuuuuckkkkk?

Have you ever just wanted to call/hug your mom or dad and can’t?

Have you ever cried Pink Himalayan Sea Salt tears to one of your best friends over French toast?

Have you ever felt like why is this happening to me?

Hopefully you haven’t…but if you had I would hug you. I would scream the ICE Cube quote obnoxiously over an imaginary mic. I would encourage you to have the strength to leave. I would tell you to seek therapy. I would tell you that you aren’t crazy. I would drive all the way from Philly to help you build the crib for your daughter, I would babysit your oldest daughter while you pulled extra shifts, I would watch your oldest daughter for an entire weekend so she just walked into her new home, I would keep your daughter for two weeks while she was in virtual school so she didn’t have to see her mom in such a low spot, I would buy you groceries, I would come and wipe down your hotel bathroom and all the other surfaces b/c duh coronavirus, I would tell you that just because you aren’t getting physically hit doesn’t mean you aren’t experiencing abuse, I would have a bonfire and give you a candle and some flowers and some very tight hugs, I would make you three fire ass playlists, I would encourage you and tell you that you are valuable and loved. I would check on you weekly, I would go to brunch with you, I would pay your phone bill, I would let you and your daughters spend the week at my house and make you watch that horrible meek mill movie on volume 100, I would book you a hotel room and invite all of your closest friends to have a spa day, I would take a half day off to let the movers into your storage unit, I would let you ship furniture to my house, I would make you share your location with me so I knew you were safe, I would help you literally unpack your entire house, I would help you find an attorney, I would give you free legal advice, I would order you wallpaper, I would just listen, I would help you wash all of your new dishes and sheets, I would walk through ikea with you for hours, I would love you…I would do anything I could, I would be the friend all of my friends were to me.

How could I even question my self worth, my energy, my spirit, my personality when I am obviously getting back all of this positive energy and love. Who were you to think that you couldn’t find a way or make a way?

[blacksmithgendry]

since no one is writing it I am and because I'm actually inspired

@mizznancywheeler this is for you bc only you get my thot thoughts lol

beware kids, this is very spicy and I can't do read mores on mobile so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is lol

warnings for: oral and mutual getting off and the top tier sex position 🐶

again, it's really explicit so yeah....I tried and idk here's something lol

******

"You have to be quiet, my roommates are downstairs!" Gendry panted, licking his wet lips. "You know the rules, no girls after 7. We can't get caught again."

"How can I when you're doing that with your mouth? You want me to be quiet, find a way to shut me up then."

"Gladly."

Arya hardly had a chance to retort before she found herself kneeling over Gendry's face. Gendry made sure she was steady as he took his cock in hand. She had looked absolutely delectable sitting with her legs spread wide and not a bit of clothes on her on his bed when he found her earlier that evening. "Oops" was all she'd said to him before he was on his knees, his face glued to her sopping wet cunt.

"Sit down and put it in your mouth. Make a sound and I stop. You stop for anything except to moan around my cock when you cum and I stop, are we clear?"

Arya would never admit it out loud but she really loved it when Gendry took control in bed. It always resulted in the best orgasms and sex. Not that sex when she called the shots was anything less than spectacular, it was just that the contrast between sweet and befuddled Gendry with dominant and rough Gendry did something to her. Mainly, wet her underwear and fuck him where he stood. Unfortunately, sex with Gendry also resulted with the cops being called due to noise complaints. Kinda of ironic for the situation at hand but since when could Arya resist a challenge?

"Crystal." Arya licked her lips once as she gripped his cock in her hand and placed her lips over his tip, sucking lightly. She'd alternate with sucking his tip and licking the slit dripping precum as well as using a hand to stroke what she couldn't fit in her mouth.

"Fuck! That's.....that's good!"

Arya rocked her hips impatiently, wanting his mouth on her again. She'd held up her end of the bargain, it was only fair he did the same as well. She pulled her mouth off his cock with a pop to make her point.

"And here I thought I was the one that needed to be quiet."

Gendry took the opportunity to bring his hand down her behind and smack it.

"Oh you do. Never said I couldn't make noise."

Arya felt her nipples stiffen at the smacks that came afterwards. A moan caught in her throat as he lapped at her cunt with gusto, his hands firmly gripping her hips. Her hand fell away as she took his entire length into her mouth and did her best to match his pace. Her cheeks hollowed out with every bob and weave, the feel of him scorching hot and velvety. She was more than sure he felt the vibrations of her moans as he ate her.

Gods, I just need a few fingers inside to--

"You taste so fucking good," he pulled away to speak "now how many fingers you want? How many can you take?" His hand found it's way between her thighs, his thumb circling her clit.

"Two? Three?"

Arya felt herself drip even more at the thought of being stuffed with just his fingers, three of them at that.

"Oh three is it? Or do you want four? I know you can take four, if you can take my cock you can take four fingers."

She was more than positive that her face was flushed red with more than just pleasure and he knew it. It's why he stuck three fingers up her cunt without warning just a slight adjustment to her position atop him. It was nearly too much but she threw her hips back into his thrusts and his thumb. Arya lifted off his cock once more when he managed to fit the fourth finger inside her.

"Oh fuck, Gendry please! I'm so close..." she knew better but she couldn't take it anymore.

Gendry could've stopped like he did the last time but he was very eager to feel her cum all over his fingers when the thought crossed his mind.

Just as Arya was grinding down hard, he removed his fingers and pressed her back into the mattress.

"Gendry! I was close!"

He leaned down to kiss the pout that had formed on her face away hard. "I know, love, but I really, really want to see you fuck yourself until you cum."

He took the hand covered in her slickness and stroked his cock with it. The image of Arya spread out and her cunt a dark pink from his thrusts, her curls wet with her desire, and her clit swollen with want. The sight driving him to the edge but he want to see her fall first.

Arya wasted no time rubbing her clit in hard vicious circles while thrusting two fingers inside herself. It wasn't the same as having his fingers fuck her but she was so close, her hips rolling to the rhythm set. She knew he was close as well, his grunts telling her just a few more strokes and he was done.

"You look so fucking beautiful when you cum. I want you to cum for me love, cum."

"Oh gods, I want you to cum with me. Gendry, please..."

Gendry stopped for a second before spreading her legs even wider and kneeling before her.

"Spread your lips, I want to cover your clit."

That did it for Arya. His words pushed her to her peak and she clenched on her own fingers. Her body shook as she came, her mouth opening to scream her release. Instead, she clapped her hand over her mouth to smother her cries. She lay boneless as she came down, having just enough energy to do as he asked and spread her lips apart.

Seeing Arya still shake from her peak and spread her lips as he asked was all it took. Gendry stroked his cock a handful of times before he shot his load all over his girlfriend's clit. A quiet cry fell from his mouth as he covered her entire cunt with his spend. His free hand on the bed was all that kept him from collapsing over Arya.

"Fuck, that......that was fucking hot." He panted as he moved to lay beside her.

"Very. Your cock is still really hard, baby."

"Yeah but I know how sensitive you are after a hard round. You did have four of my fingers inside you."

"And? Your dick is bigger and I still want more after when we fuck normally too."

"So...you still want another round?"

Arya snorted and crawled over Gendry to sit astride him. She moved her hips gently over his still hard cock to make her point.

"I always want another round, preferably on top. Or from behind."

Gendry's hands came to her hips, a reflex at this point. She was always very glorious riding him hard and yet, taking her from behind always gave him the chance to fuck Arya really hard and deep.

"Get on your knees, I want to see you take every inch of my cock."

"You can't just say that and not expect me to not moan like I do when we fuck at my place."

"Arya...your walls are soundproof. I live in a three story house with six roommates and their priest. Thin walls and no boundaries, forgive me if I actually want to keep our sex life private."

She bent down to kiss his frown away and chuckled. "I know, I do so enjoy teasing you."

"You had you laugh now get on your knees please, so I can cum in you and get some sleep."

Arya rolled her eyes and did as she was told. "At least this time you said please. Last time you just bent me over the desk and said, 'Pull your skirt up and hold fast.' And then you ripped my nice pair of blue lace underwear."

"I said I was sorry." Gendry grinned at the memory. "And I recall you cumming four times after I fucked you on the desk. You love it from behind. Like how rough I fuck you. How hard you cum from being fucked like the She Wolf you are."

"That's what you think."

Gendry pulled her hips back to meet his thighs. "Oh I know, baby."

Arya felt his cock sliding between her sensitive folds a few times before pushing the tip in. She let out a low gasp when he slid another inch inside her before pulling back and pushing in once again. Again and again, he pushed and pulled until she felt him bottom out.

"Now, I'm going to fuck your nice and hard. Just the way you like it."

Hips and ass up, face pressed into the mattress, and his hand in her hair as he pounded her cunt just as he promised?

Gods, he really did know what she liked best.

[xanthicantag]

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled  Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there)  But like, maybe daffodils? 

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot.  I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again.  Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield?  or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right??  On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target.  I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game?  And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right.  Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct.   Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon.  Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit.  Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier?  You know?  Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3?  that’s some good shit.  But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers.  I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.  

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life!  Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years.  A nice bound book though?  *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain.  It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour.  A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster. 

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing.  Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace?  Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf.  Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection.  Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck.  This is so hard.  I want to be, so many.  No you know what, fuck it.  I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face.  Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um.  Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties???  Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know.  And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable.  Not gone or broken.  Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh?  You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it.  Walk away sometimes.  Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES.  Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket.  The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options).  A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe.  There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard,  Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those?  and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know