#i haven't even watched all the trailers yet but i needed to say something or i was gonna explode

[rythyme]

JOSS?? AND FLUKE GAWIN??? IN A VAMPIRE BL????????????????

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 33

part 1 | part 32 | ao3

Chapter 8

cw: period-typical attitudes/language

"Steve," Robin hisses through the phone, and he can practically hear her nostrils flaring. "I have been trapped at Uncle Bobby and Aunt Deb's house for six. days." She drops her voice to a harsh whisper, the tone somehow even more disapproving at a lower volume. "HOW have you not kissed him yet??"

"It's not like I didn't try!" Steve throws his hands up; nearly knocks his broom to the floor. He's finally sweeping up the shards of glass in the living room, because he's tired of wearing shoes in his own house (and because at some point he's going to have to have the kids over whether he wants to or not. He's kind of surprised Erica hasn't shown up demanding to hang Christmas lights yet; that girl is aggressively festive.) "He was all 'ask me in the morning,' so I was gonna ask him in the morning! Not my fault it was Monday morning and his stupid uncle barged in yelling about how he was going to be late for school."

"You really shouldn't call him stupid," she interrupts, "that man is a saint."

"No, you’re right. Wayne's awesome."

It’s true. Wayne walked in on them that morning, like, fully spooning in their sleep — Eddie pressed all along Steve's back with an arm over his waist, their ankles intertwined — and rather than beat Steve's ass and ban him from their house like Steve expected him to, he just awkwardly grunted 'breakfast is ready' and shut the door.

"I'm always right," Robin gloats in his ear.

"You're always the worst."

"You love me." Steve hears shuffling as she adjusts the cord — probably wiggling around to lie on her stomach on the bed and kick her feet up in the air the way she likes — and then she says, "I'm still not seeing how this explains the other five whole days, though."

Jesus. Five whole days. Like she's his unimpressed boss and he’s late with the quarterly reports. "Our schedules kept not lining up! And then he went out of town with Jeff's family for the holiday."

"And you haven't called him?"

Steve glares flatly at the phone; hopes she can feel it through the line. "Literally how would I do that, Robin?"

"Well— I don't know! Maybe..." She hums in thought then snaps her fingers, talking fast. "Ooh! You could ask Wayne for the number? I mean, he'd have to know it in case he needed to reach Eddie, right?"

"Uh huh." Steve loves her solution-oriented brain, he really does, but that's one of the worst ideas he's heard in a while. (And he's including Mike and Dustin's attempted kidnapping last month.) "Yeah, let me get right on that," he snarks, switching the phone to his other ear. "I’ll just call them up and say, 'Hey, Mr. or Mrs. Jeff's Grandparents! This is Steve Harrington, may I—? Oh. Who's Steve Harrington, you ask? Nobody, sir or ma’am, just the kid who stood by and watched while his teammates gave your grandson a swirlie two years ago, so I'm sure he fucking hates me still for that! Anyway, can I please flirt with your house guest now?'"

Robin's whinnying into the receiver by the time Steve finishes his rant, and he begrudgingly laughs along with her, shaking his head as he stoops to pick up the dust pan.

"Okay," she concedes. "You may have a point."

"Thank you."

"But you still have to do something to make up for this when he gets home! Otherwise, he's going to think you're, like, having a straight boy crisis or something and get all weird."

"I'm not having a 'straight boy crisis,'" Steve rolls his eyes. He's having a bisexual boy crisis — at least, according to the three hour phone call he had with Robin the other night (which was humiliating, by the way; he never thought he'd be quietly crying tears of total confusion while saying the words 'I still likes boobies, though' out loud. Jesus Christ. Sexuality is embarrassing.) "And I already have a grand gesture in mind, anyway."

"Oh?" Robin perks up. "Do tell."

"I was thinking we could, like..." Hmm. It's sounding less grand when he goes to say it out loud. "Well, shit, I don't know. I thought we could go to one of his shows together when you get back, but now that sounds kind of lame?"

“No, that's good! That's perfect, actually. We can get a whole group together to go support him, then he'll see that you're not embarrassed to be seen around him with your friends."

"Wait, was that a concern?" Oh, god. He dumps more glass into the trash can; hisses when a little shard gets his fingertip; sucks the wound into his mouth. "Are you sure it’s not-? I mean, I want him to know I mean it in a romantic way, not just a friendly gesture."

"Well, yeah, obviously. But you can't just go by yourself; his bandmates hate you."

Oh, right. “Yeah.” That would be pretty awkward to loiter in a booth by himself all night while Jeff and Gareth and the other kid glare daggers at him. "Do you think you could get a group together? If I do it…"

"…We'll be hanging out with a group of dorky freshman all night?”

"Rude."

"Accurate."

"You know what? Tell Deb and Bobby they can keep you."

"Ah!" Robin gasps. "You would turn to stone like a troll in the sun without me, and you know it!"

Man, he misses her. "Yeah, I know it." He puts the broom back up on the hook. "When ya comin' home?"

"Soon, I hope. I swear to god if I have to hear Deb and Patty fight over the leftovers one more time—!" She cuts herself off with a strangled noise, and Steve laughs at her plight. "Anyway, yes. I'll ask some friends at school—"

"—Is one of those friends Vickie?"

“I can multi-task; shut up."

"I love you," he smiles.

"Love you, too, dingus.” Her voice dips soft and sincere for just a second; there and gone. “Hey, I have to go, Carrie wants the phone.”

“You have too many relatives.”

“Ugh, I know. Okay. Leaving for real now; can't wait to see you for Operation Woo Your Man!”

"Robin, no-!”

“Got to go byeeeee.”

“We’re not calling it that!” He holds the phone out with both hands so he can yell into the receiver. “Robin? Robin!"

The line's already dead.

—

part 34

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added tomorrow please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[sylusheart]

`sylus: a character study

finally here with the sylus post as promised <3 if you haven't already, do check out my caleb post. in this post i'll summarise the current theories/speculations regarding sylus, however with all the new confirmations and reveals a lot of the previous theories have been debunked so i'm only going to include whats still relevant as of now. and don't worry, even in the future if most of these theories are complete waffle i'll still leave this post up, as well as my caleb one and any other upcoming lnds theory posts. as always, if i miss anything or if you want to correct anything please fill free to mention it in the comments <3 also this includes spoilers for love and deepspace veresion 2 so if you haven't finished the new updates yet and don't want to get spoiled pls look away!!! but if you're thirsty for more sylus content buckle up and keep reading, let's start... ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

ᰔ the meaning of sylus' name

starting things off simple let's look into the meaning of his name. 'sylus' can mean "from/of the woods", or more specifically the name sylus/silas originally comes from the short form of 'silvanus' which means "protector" or "guardian" (of the forest). funnily enough, this has clearly been depicted throughout he main story so far as he's been watching over mc from the very beginning. it's also said that silvanus can appear as someone who is unfazed and daring with a rebellious soul and is willing to explore the darkest woodlands - which sort of links back to how sylus is so comfortable in the N109 zone despite it being a terrifying place to others and outsiders.

ᰔ the flower in his trailer represents mc

i've seen a few people point out that the untouched flower in his trailer represents mc. seeing as sylus is the ruthless leader of onychinus he's clearly meant to be seen as someone who is unforgiving and rather rash. but amongst all of the deadliness shown in his trailer, a lone flower sits unharmed as he walks past, suggesting a softer side to him. we can assume that him avoiding to trample over the flower was intentional because he steps over his wanted poster, this small detail in general shows how he holds a tender and respectful side that he reserves for mc. ultimately, it shows how sylus is a multifaceted character - he voluntarily avoids the flower, willingly choosing to be tender even when no one was there to witness so. not to mention, on the recent stream one of the kitties (blurple) said that sylus had rescued it when it found itself on top of one of the buildings (probably in the N109 zone) and he gently set it down to a safer place on the ground after telling it that "kitties don't belong here". to me, he comes off as a man that is unforgiving when need be, he's not going to start terrorising everyone because of how he tends to behave. he seems like someone who prefers not to cross over lines unless someone has crossed his first - that's to say, he won't act hostile or irrational unless he has been wronged first. but of course, many people who know of him can find that difficult to believe because all of the stories they hear about him don't tend to have a civil ending. it's sort of like he only shows his softer side in private, which makes sense if you think about it as he probably has an endless list of enemies and the last thing he needs is having someone/something close to him used against him for blackmail or whatnot.

ᰔ sylus' heartbeat, is he actually human? i remember that before sylus came out a lot of us seemed to think that raising his heartbeat would be worse than how it already is to try and raise zayne's, although if you've tried to do it you'll notice his heartbeat tends to be very fast almost all the time. his heartbeat in game is about 90-105 in the morning and then in the afternoon/evening time it ranges between 100-164. even though it varies, it's still a faster heartbeat than the norm. but why is it more faster later on in the day? i mean it could be because he has a preference for doing things at night which explains why his heartbeat seems to be more active during those later times of the day - but regardless, it's still overly fast.

a resting heartbeat usually ranges between 60-100bpm, unless of course excercise becomes a factor - but even then sylus doesn't go red or show any physical signs that can explain why his heartbeat is so high. so the only explanation as to how his heartbeat is so fast is because he simply isn't human. but to be fair, a crow's heartbeat is usually between 150 to 200 on average when awake and can rise up to 600 when resting, but then again just because his familiar/pet is a crow and he's associated with crows it doesn't exactly confirm that he himself is a crow-human... hybrid. so... then what is he? well, there's a part in the main chapter, a flashback of some sort, where mc is reliving a memory for a bit. she's seen to be holding a hand - a hand that doesn't look very human - and called it "sylus". the creature seems to look like a wanderer, and if it really is sylus but in wanderer form, i presume he''s stuck in the transition stages (if you're familiar with zayne's dawnbreaker lore, this'll make more sense) from human to wanderer as mc can still recognise him (?) as she's holding his hand (we assume) it might be that she's resonating with him? perhaps this halted the transition process or something... but it's not clear enough to indicate what exactly is happening, from what we can tell mc appears to be covered in blood and they both seem to be injured but other than that the whole ordeal looks quite bizarre.

within the main story chapter we also see the little girl describe sylus as a monster with horns and huge wings who can never die. from what we've seen of sylus' regeneration ability (his self-healing) during that part when mc shot him (actually, it was sylus who pushed down the trigger, using mc's finger but i'll go more indepth on that below), and he healed only moments later - further proving the little girls rumor that sylus is invincible. the other attributes in her description (horns, big wings and being a monster) seems like she's just describing a devillish like wanderer, which sort of sounds like how sylus would be if he were to be one...

if we go back to the experiments involving core fragments, the people who participated in the experiment said that one is to "implant a core in a person't heart" and the other is to "implant a consciousness in a high level wanderer body" and so from here we know that mc is the former and sylus could possibly be the latter, that is - if he truly was one of the test subjects.

also, in the destiny cafe he has an interaction that says he likes observing humans and also says that things without heart are more loyal.

going back to that main story scene where there's a memory/flashback of mc and the wanderer-like being, we see the creature hand over something to mc which looks like a sword with his claw-like hands. the bottom looked like it was inlaid with a red core a red ruby, so if this wanderer thingy isn't sylus himself perhaps it was sent by sylus (?) somehow… which could be why mc says his name. the wanderer asks mc to hold it tightly and at this point (if this wanderer really is sylus) he hasn't completely transitioned into a wanderer yet as he can still talk to mc.

so if the creature/wanderer really is sylus, from what we can gather - sylus was turned into a wanderer. if mc didn't kill him, then he might've completely turned into a wanderer, which is why he said "because if you don't, there's no going back", and so sylus in his wanderer form handed mc the weapon when he was still conscious so that mc could pierce his heart and prevent him from becoming a wanderer and losing consciousness. though it doesn't look like she chose to kill him and instead opted to resonate with sylus which ultimately made his self-healing ability increase/double in power. at the same time this pulled on the energy from mc's aether core and altered the heart in sylus body, reshaping it in such way that he can now regenerate/self-heal. it also paused his transition into become a wanderer. as pointed out, this only happened because of mc resonating with sylus - which is why the voice in mc's head tells her "it's your power", because without her sylus wouldn't of gained such abilities and be able to manipulate with his evol as much as he can now. maybe the real reason why he wants to resonate with her so badly is because he wants to give mc her power back so that she can be as strong and as powerful as she once was. i'm not saying he feels 'guilty' for mc choosing to use her abilities to save sylus' life but i feel like he feels as if its his time to pay his debt to her and give her back what was rightfully hers, even if that meant he'd die in the process (which most likely will happen if he were successful). the part in the main story where sylus is on a throne and he uses his evol to pull her onto his lap and then allows her to point a gun at him and shoot him, he notes her hesitation and clasps his own hand around hers - and if you look closely in that scene he pushes down the trigger himself (pressing down on her finger) so that the shot goes through his chest. maybe he thought her power would restore to her if he was killed by her hand. when she realises whats happened, she feels immense guilt and regret, believing she was the cause of this. mc says something like "you can't die yet" in a way as if she's known him forever and not for the few hours/days we are shown in the story so far. he makes a remark, and talks a little smug over mc feeling bad for what happened. at this point, he's probably realised that his evol was beginning to take effect because of the failure to resonate with mc - meaning he was going to regenerate and not die like he assumed he would.

going back to that wanderer memory/flashback, after mc resonates with the sylus-wanderer it must've reversed the wanderers body back to human. the use of her evol in all of this must've altered fate and went beyond the rules of the unprecendented and unparalleled, sylus has also said "someone has already overcome fate" and that people have done it/conquered fate before him (source: abyssal chaos) most likely referring to how mc changed his fate so that he wouldn't turn into a wanderer. he also says something about being told a blood-soaked disaster would be waiting for him, but he twisted fate by bringing a blood-soaked disaster to other people. it seems like to me, that there is a possibility for loopholes and changes of destiny in the deepspace but it's not something that can happen so easily.

sort of like how zayne was punished for defying astra, mc must've payed a price for going against the laws of fate to save sylus. i guess this means her paid price was the result of her death as she must've been overly exhausted from the loss of energy spent to save sylus.

sylus also said mc owed him a "farewell ceremony bigger than death" because the love-hate story between them has not come to an end yet, even if she died first. i haven't read his anecdotes yet but i've heard that he searched in all the galaxies across time and space to find the mc again, only to find her in linkon city (similar to xavier's situation with mc really).

ᰔ the significance of sylus giving mc wine someone pointed out that when sylus gave mc the wine it was somewhat similar to hades giving persephone the pomegranate seeds. if you're unfamiliar with hades and persephone's story to put it short, when persephone was going to leave hades gave her pomegranate seeds and she consumed them without much thought only to later realise that she was now unable to leave now that she had consumed food from the underworld, ultimately meaning she had to stay with hades forever. i really like this theory because it does really amplify sylus' possessiveness. not to mention one of his chat bubbles is literally a pomegranate... if that doesn't solidify this theory i don't know what else will.

ᰔ so was sylus also experimented on? a lot of the scenery associated with sylus seems to show much about cages/being restricted/tamed/tied up, it could possibly nod towards being experimented on (like how mc was) which is why sylus tells mc that they are the same and true kindred spirits. even if he didn't go through the exact same experiments mc was put through its possible he went through something similar. he does have aether core inside of him after all, just like mc, and i highly doubt he was just 'born' with it, it must've been planted there by something or someone or maybe it has something to do with one of his past lives (?).

ᰔ sylus and astra, what's the extent of sylus' evol? now onto some juicy stuff, i've seen some talk about sylus being astra personified and although sylus being astra might be a little far-fetched, i do think there's some sort of connection. in zayne's foreseer myth, there's a part that says “astra gifted one of his eyes to the foreseer. by walking the winding path of time did the foreseer understand its passing.” since zayne still sees his alternate lives when he’s dreaming, it’s safe to assume that he’s still connected to that foreseer eye, but what about the other eye? isn't it strange that it's only one of sylus' eyes that glow... when mc asks sylus if his eye is an aether core he doesn’t say yes, he responds with “something like that”. if the foreseer’s eye sees one’s fate then sylus’ eye sees one’s true desires - as evident through what we see in the main story. there's also a part in zayne's last myth that sort of links back to this: “it’s said the god wields the power of yin and yang, governing life and death.”

we know astra granted his eye to zayne, but what about sylus? was it a gift too or did he steal it? and again, it's possible he was a victim of one of the experiments that happened all those years ago.

now this brings attention to rafayel's heart. was that astra's too, the aether core? if mc has an aether core, and sylus and rafayel have one too… perhaps these are all just fragments of the real aether, and maybe there's 5 fragments in total meaning xavier and caleb may have one too... mc is also heavily affected by sylus' evol which is probably due to her playing a part in how strong it has become or because his evol in general can mess with anyone regardless if they're an ordinary evolver or not. it's pretty obvious at this point that his evol is most probably the strongest we've witnessed yet, not only does he has multiple abilities and an aether core, but some of mc's power too (if the wanderer = sylus theory is correct). it's also important to note that sylus' self-healing ability which essentially allows him to survive death is similar to how mc could come back to life after the many experiments she was put through that killed her each time, i guess this confirms that the only reason sylus obtained this ability in the first place was when mc chose to save him and resonate with him once upon a time. unlike mc, he remembers everything - or so it seems. to mc his words may seem cryptic, but he probably does know more than he lets on and he just chooses to be very vague with what he says (probably out of protection, it seems he wants answers - perhaps after he gets his answers he will be more open with mc and trying to get her to remember).

ᰔ sylus and caleb/ever group (?) in the main story, when speaking about ever group sylus seems to regard them in distaste. of course, as onychinus and ever are two different groups entirely, we can assume they're also on two sides and are potential enemies. sylus makes it seem as if he's quite familiar with them, probably having dealt with them on a few occasions, but with the way he speaks of them i presume they weren't very delightful occasions. there is a part where sylus says to mc, "the people closest to you might be the ones who want to kill you the most.” which could refer to josephine and how she quite literally participated in the experiments that repetitively killed mc. but i primarily think this line has everything to do with caleb. i get the sense that the only reason sylus can know caleb is through ever group and we all can tell caleb is associated with something bigger than the aerospace academy. so if caleb truly is part of ever group, then we know one potential reason as to why sylus dislikes them, or more specifically caleb. there's also an official artwork (see below) that has a white, red-eyed snake wrapped around caleb's arm. the snake could very much represent sylus in a way. the art itself can allude to when mc went into the no hunt zone. she takes on the role as a sinner by pretending to betray the hunters, and as caleb is speculated to be the guy in the shadows in chapter 8, there's a possibility that sylus might be forcing caleb to pretend to be dead/betray mc which is why he is maintaining a low profile. as sylus is the snake and has control over caleb like a puppet with strings, in the art we can also see that both caleb and mc are tempted to eat the forbidden fruit - however, mc is able to freely do so whereas with caleb’s side of the art it looks like he will get bitten by the snake if he even dares to, it's as if there are consequences if mc ever finds out that caleb is actually alive.

that's all i've gathered for now <3 i'll update as i find more and read more of his cards (as well as the new world underneath stories... i haven't read those yet) but it might take a while for me to update because i'm swamped with work :T but anywho, thank you for reading :3 pls let me know your thoughts! (⭒•͈ 𓎺 •͈ )

[actual-changeling]

when gabriel/jim (jabriel?? gim?????) talks about his "one particular person", aziraphale's smile is such a blink and you will miss it moment but so incredibly precious and we don't pay enough attention to it.

so, welcome to another round of alex's unhinged meta corner where i over-analyse micro expressions while losing some more braincells.

firstly, here's a clip of that scene just so we are all on the same page since i don't know how much time everyone else spends watching that show. don't ask me it's probably at least 6 hours a day at this point

what i want to focus on is aziraphale's reaction to jabriel's words right after "person". did i slow the clip down and then go through it frame by frame to get the following screencaps? yes. yes i did.

there are two parts to this, the spaced-out smile and then his shock/fear. also before we start can i just say how fucking insane whoever made the trailer was for putting the 1941 dinner scene RIGHT THERE??? with THAT expression??????? yeah. no. i need therapy for that alone.

anyway.

while he is talking, aziraphale is looking at jabriel the entire time, but honestly, i don't think he is actually seeing him, he's neck-deep in his memories of crowley. he as that sparkle in his eyes he tends to get around crowley/looking at crowley and that smile appears rather slowly (or as slow as something can be while lasting less than a second).

personally, i'd call that expression "completely and utterly in love" or besotted if you wanna keep it simple. a content little smile meant for no one except himself, the kinda look he probably wears in private while calling crowley to ask him to come hang out. aziraphale loves him and in this short moment, he knows it - and so do we.

when jabriel (preferable over gim, in my opinion) trails off, aziraphale remembers that hey, wait a minute. that's my boss. that's the archangel fucking gabriel. he can't know about me and crowley.

at this point, neither we nor he know what exactly is up with jabriel, so there is a very real danger that everything aziraphale says or shows will be reported back to heaven. the shock sets in, the smile disappear and aziraphale falls from cloud 9 (pun intended) and lands face first back on earth.

while aziraphale does not have crowley's memory of what exactly went down in heaven when they tried to burn him to a crisp, he has always been incredibly anxious around gabriel and the other archangel. he is fidgeting, unable to stand still or even keep his gaze from flicking around. the only moment he calms is, you guessed it, when he is zoned out and thinking of crowley.

the very real fear that settles on his face is not just about himself, it is mostly about crowley. if heaven knows, hell will, too. everyone knows about the back channels, most just try and keep up plausible deniability. the fact that it is michael who seems to be directly in contact with hell for the most part and not gabriel is worthy of its own post at some point.

another thing worth mentioning is that aziraphale is so afraid, in fact, that he physically backs away from jabriel and gets as much distance between them as possible. jabriel looks like a lost toddler, very non-threatening, but the trauma runs so deep that it does not matter how much of a danger he really is right now. he has been a constant threat for over six thousand years, you cannot deconstruct your view of a person, especially your boss, that quickly. not even if they turn up with total amnesia on your doorstep. naked.

this was less unhinged than some of my other posts but i think this is a moment that gets overlooked a lot. at least i haven't seen anyone talking about it yet since we are all understandably focused on the ending of episode 6.

[sansacherie]

look. im not saying there isn't some very valid concerns about alicent being raised or that i disagree with them if its proven correct. lord knows the writers don't have a good track record.

but some of y'all still need to be reminded that a trailer isn't the series. we saw 2 minutes in which we only got so much of alicent, it's impossible for them to show everything. and yet some of y'all are talking with such certainty as if you got early access to the episodes and therefore everything you say is absolute truth and not still speculation at this point.

like im sorry but has it occurred to any of y'all that those clips (alicent advising caution, aemond calling her a fool for still loving the enemy- rhaenyra) happens BEFORE blood and cheese??

concerning aemond, i think a really plausible explanation for this scene that we haven't been able to watch the full thing because again it's in a trailer, it's him and ser criston talking about how alicent was in favour of peace talks during the green council and refused to consider the alternative of killing rhaenyra. considering what aemond has just done, of course he's going to be 100+ more defensive. him criticising the peace terms that would have spared both sides and prevented a war would come across as just as bad as him deciding to chase luke on vaghar.

a lot of you also seem to have forgotten that aemond is characterised as "unforgiving" so it doesn't seem surprising to me that he would hate the idea of these peace terms because in his mind rhaenyra does not deserve forgiveness. he's been waiting for viserys to die so he could punish her and her sons. this is very similar to daemon, who was ready to kill every single green during the black council. also note the word "our". people assuming that aemond is only using it in reference to him and ser criston, and yet because he used it the word "our" it's quite possible that he doesn't think his own mother is some double double agent and despite his heavy disagreements with her, he's still including alicent in that because by crowning aegon, alicent has clearly chosen him over rhaenyra.

i want to finish here about aemond by saying how boringly predictable it is that team black are comparing aemonds words about alicent to jace's words about rhaenyra. im sorry but that isn't a fair comparison. jace is talking to a lord (likely cregan stark) whose support he's trying to gain for his mother's cause. he's not going to be bad mouthing or criticising rhaenyra. cregan stark is a STRANGER to him. on the other hand this was a private convo between aemond and ser criston (ser criston looks ready to retire for the night). ser criston is probably one of the few people in the world that aemond trusts and because criston happens to be devoted to alicent and because aemond does love his mother, he feels "safer" making these points to him in PRIVATE rather than trying to publicly undermine her like otto did by keeping in the dark and according to deleted scenes, ready to marry her off AGAIN for allies even though alicent being unaware of all this makes no sense but whatever.

people also making these claims about alicent choosing rhaenyra based off her saying "this senseless war must end." it's so annoying how y'all immediate first conclusion was that alicent was only saying it out of a desire to spare rhaenyra...... as if alicent wanting the war to end couldn't have been about protecting ALICENTS remaining children/grandchildren and the realm at large.... mind you f&b alicent says something very similar which has the exact same point being made. "how many more must die to slake your thirst for venegance?"

[babybluebex]

ok wait but now imagining paul not so subtly trying to get dom to ask out costar!you 😭😭 like imagine dom's just too nervous to ask you out to dinner or something after wrapping up a scene and paul's like 😒 and ASKS FOR DOM 💀 so paul going "hey, dom invited me out for dinner, which of course i'm flattered, but im a bit too old for him.....you should take my place!" and dom in the background looking absolutely mortified. cue confused reader !!

i also have been hallucinating this one small moment where you finished filming a bit later in the day compared to dom so you didn't get to eat yet. you show up to your trailer and see dom and he's like "finally im starving! burgers or pizza?" and you're like "girl what." and he's like "you haven't eaten yet and i wanted to eat with you" and you're just like "WHAT!" (🥹) and he's like "so pizza AND burgers?"

idk i need to go to sleep.

ugh my FAV idea is paul and da'vine watching you two being IDIOTS who don't see that you're falling for each other, and you tell da'vine how much you like dom but you're too nervous to say anything, and dom tells paul that he doesn't think he's good enough for you, and paul and da'vine collude to get yall together bc CLEARLY yall aren't gonna do it on your own

just little things at first, filming a scene outside and paul mumbles to dom "she looks cold... maybe you oughta give her your scarf" and dom does it without hesitation, and you smile at dom and paul is like success, or you and da'vine are cooking (bc ALL THE FOOD IN THE MOVIE WAS REAL AND AT LEAST PARTIALLY COOKED BY DA'VINE) and she "accidentally" overcooks a pan of brownies, and she says "go give them to the boy, he'll eat em" and you do, and dom is all red in the face and adores the gesture, and da'vine is back in the kitchen thinking like those kids are SO dumb

and it escalates in their poking and prodding, and dom tells paul one night "i just— i've never had any luck with girls" and paul is like "jesus christ, kid, see the writing on the wall! for the past six weeks, you've been worshiping this girl and she's been the same, and we wrap in a week, either ask her to dinner or shut up about it!" and he settles down and goes "sorry, that was mean. what i meant was—" but the snap of reality was exactly what dom needed to get off his ass, and he goes and finds you that very moment, and you're sitting chatting with da'vine, and you smile at dom as he enters the room "hey man! what's up?" and you notice his red cheeks and the intense look on his face, and you start to ask what's the matter, but he beats you to it, grabbing your face and kissing you, and you initially push him away "what the hell?" and he just all in one breath says "i think you're really beautiful and you're funny and silly but so caring and passionate, you take care of me even when you don't need to, because why would you need to, i'm a grown man, i can take care of myself, but i love the way you play with my hair and fall asleep on my shoulder during movie night, and we wrap in a week and i don't think i could live with myself if i didn't at least tell you how i feel, and paul says you feel the same way, and i usually believe whatever he says without hesitating, but i sorta worry he's wrong about it, so—" and you kiss him again to keep him quiet and you can't see her behind you, but da'vine is grinning bc fucking finally

and dom is a SWEETHEART when it comes to that second part. you had to film a scene that went on longer than expected, and dom has been wrapped for the day for a while, and the shoes you wore for the scene hurt your feet and you're tired and your body hurts and you just wanna lay down, and you get to your trailer and see the light on inside when you know you left the light off that morning, and you go in, and dom's got it all set up for you, an ocean of blankets on the couch and a pizza on your counter, and he's on the couch, remote in hand, navigating thru netflix, and you're like "the fuck is this?" and he's all puppy eyes at you "i knew you had a hard day, so i wanted to... i don't know, make it easy or something. i got your favorite pizza, and i washed these blankets so they smell nice and they just came out the dryer so they're still warm, and i'm trying to find that show you like but i can't find it, how do you spell 'derry'" and your face crumples up as you start to cry, and dom's face goes WHITE and he shoots up "oh god, i'm sorry, what did i do?" and he comes over and gingerly hugs you, and you cry into his neck and can barely gasp out "n-nothing's wrong, i-i'm just tired!" and he shushes you "maybe a little hangry too?" and you just "mhm" into his skin "that's what i thought, honey, c'mon sit down, i've got you" and that makes you cry harder and he's just sorta "... i'm really bad with girls, do you want me to let go and kick rocks, or..." and you just whimper "i've never had a boyfriend be so nice to me" and dom feels his heart shatter "jesus, really? what sorta guys have you been dating? cuz i— look at me, baby, look into my eyes— i like you. a whole lot. but i care about you too, and i care about the fact that you feel like shit and had a bad day, and because i like you so much and i care about you, i just wanna... just wanna make sure you're ok. ok?" and you sniffle and nod, and he ducks his head to get his face in your lowered eyeline "ok??" and you sorta huff out a laugh "oh, c'mon, you can do better than that. i'm not letting go of you until you give me a real laugh. even if it's fake, pretend it's real" and you roll your eyes and he sorta shakes you "c'mon, you can do it. or do i need to start singing at you? because i can!" and you start to slink away from him, but he pulls you in close and kisses your head "go get into some pjs, i brought one of my shirts for you to wear, it's on your bed with those sweatpants you wear all the time" and by the time you get changed and grab a slice of pizza and get settled on the couch in dom's arms, you realize he's not eating "you're not hungry?" "nah not really..." and it's only after you're full that he reveals the truth to you "i haven't eaten all day. i wanted you to eat all you wanted and not have to worry about me :)"

[sjoongki]

Do you think that LND is going to have a sad ending? The illness reveal was so upsetting.

putting my thoughts under the cut because this got long 😅

despite how upsetting that cancer illness reveal was (and believe me, i was very upset), i really don't think that LND is going to end on a sad note. i could definitely be wrong (so don't hold me to this), but i think that this drama, while showing us how unpredictable life can be, is also trying to show us how one is still able to persevere through times of hardship when they have the strength and support of their loved ones.

it's clear that seok-ryu is trying to hide her illness from her family and even friends, which is most likely why she asked her ex to accompany her to the hospital. since he was there the first time she got sick in the US, he's already aware of her health history and can keep her diagnosis confidential. we also now know that seok-ryu's time in the US was riddled with near constant stress and anxiety, workplace harassment, feelings of isolation from her friends/family/homeland, and severe illness. flashbacks in the earlier episodes gave us a glimpse of how her ex majorly screwed up and prioritized other things (like partying? cheating????) over seok-ryu and neglected her when she needed him most, so i think this recent health scare is meant to show that seok-ryu will finally heal (both mentally and physically) with the love and support of her family and friends.

i went back and watched the long promotional trailer for LND, and there's one scene that we haven't seen yet that I believe will air in one of two scenarios: 1) when it's seok-ryu's birthday, or 2) when she's back from the hospital and on the mend. the scene is of her and her family, seung-hyo, and mo-eum all wearing tiny party hats and watching seok-ryu eat at the table while her mom says that "they're a family that shares the harsh, sad moments together". once her sickness is finally revealed, i'm sure that her parents will finally understand seok-ryu's dream of being a chef and their dynamic will change for the better. preparing and eating food for seok-ryu is healing, and food has always been about sharing parts of yourself with those you love.

i believe jung hae-in and jung so-min when they said that this was a healing drama, and that it gets a lot happier/and more heart-fluttering in episodes 11-16! it's obviously going to be painful until we get there, but hopefully next week's episodes will wrap up the angst and the annoying ex can finally get lost lmao.

if you're still watching, let's hang in there together 💓 if you're not, please take care of yourself and i hope you find something else to watch that makes you happy and warm inside!

[becauseimanicequeen]

4 Minutes Theories (Ep. 7)

In this post, I've compiled my theories from my initial reaction to the trailer and the teaser (which were kind of sweeping since the trailer and teaser didn't give me much to get super detailed about), the new ones I've written down after watching new episodes (episode 1, episode 2, episode 3, episode 4, episode 5, and episode 6), and some new wild-ass theories I've written in some scattered posts.

Just like last week, I will go through my theories one by one. Let's see how wrong I am this time, and how (un)likely the other theories are. Like last time, I might develop some of my theories and add some new ones as well.

Let's go!

Pre-premiere theory: The moments Great sees ahead of time are moments that might help him redeem himself from a past mistake/transgression. (Unconfirmed)

I can't decide whether I should confirm this or not considering I can't decide whether Great's do-overs were based on him redeeming himself or an obstinate need to "prove" to Tyme that he's not a coward.

I'll keep this theory around for a while longer and decide later on.

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Korn will do some shady shit to prove to his dad that he can take over the family business. (Unconfirmed)

Even though there's not a family business to take over anymore, I will keep focusing on Korn proving himself to his dad.

He was definitely doing some shady shit. Especially in the real past timeline we saw in the 6th episode. But, I need actual proof.

I'm wondering what he'll do when he finds out Tonkla shot Great, because I'm sure he'll find out somehow. So I'm keeping this theory unconfirmed for now.

Pre-premiere theory: Title is involved with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

Before watching the first episode, I thought Title might've been a brother or that they had a boss/minion relationship (based on the similarities in their posters).

However, ever since I got a hunch before the 4th episode that Title might be Fasai's brother and that his dad, then, is Police Colonel Warit (which might've been confirmed in this week's episode, depending on who the "chief" is, because it could just as well be the man who saw the footage of Title and Great dumping Dome's body), that would at least be a semi-connection to Korn (via Fasai). But I want more.

I will confirm this theory if Korn gets involved in finding Title's killer (because he is killed, right? Even though we haven't gotten it confirmed, he must be dead, right?).

But, if we don't get to see Korn involved in that, I will half-confirm this if Title is Fasai's brother (and, therefore, has a semi-connection with Korn).

Revised/developed pre-premiere theory: Tonkla is at the center of it all. (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for Fuaiz/Tonkla. At first, I thought he had a target on his back (which could still be true considering he shot Great), but I feel like it's developed more into Tonkla being at the center of this whole thing.

What if the background on his poster is something like a spider's web rather than a target, and that he's at the center of it?

So, last week (or the week before? I can't even remember anymore, lol), I wrote that I would only label this theory as confirmed if Tonkla's timeline is the real timeline (which it seems to be, even though there are some anomalies as well) and if he becomes the prime suspect in both Great's shooting and Title's death (if Title's dead, because, you know, we didn't get to see it and it hasn't yet been confirmed...). I would love to see the look on Korn's face when he realizes Tonkla shot his half-brother.

In other words, I'm keeping this theory until proven wrong or right.

Pre-ep. 2 theory: Tonkla will betray Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm rooting for a betrayal. I don't really care if Tonkla reveals all of Korn's dirty laundry to Win, if he ends up beating the shit out of Korn with a rock, or shoots him straight through the heart. I just want Tonkla to fuck shit up.

If shooting Great is the only betrayal we get, I'll half-confirm this theory.

If Tonkla ends up killing Korn as well, I'll confirm it.

(I'm hoping for the latter. Not because I want my theory confirmed, but because I want to see how Korn reacts when he realizes his sugar baby is about to end his life.)

Pre-premiere theory: Win is battling some contrasting, opposing forces (internal and/or external). (Unconfirmed)

This theory was based on the background of the poster for JJay/Win. I solely based it on the red and green contrasting colors.

Ever since it was revealed in the 2nd episode that Win works for the police, I've had the feeling that the contrasting forces he's battling are his attachment/feelings for Tonkla and his duty to uphold the law. I mean, he went rogue for Tonkla at one point. And now he's basically giving Tonkla the information to kill the ones who hurt him. How will Win react to that?

I could label this as confirmed already, considering Win has gone rogue and because he's giving Tonkla information from an ongoing investigation. But I want more.

I will label this as confirmed if we get to see Win struggle with what to do (whether to arrest Tonkla, let him escape, or sweep away the evidence) when he finds out Tonkla is behind the killings.

Pre-premiere theory: Den has a situationship with Korn. (Unconfirmed)

I'm not keeping this theory because I want Korn and Den together.

I'm keeping this theory only because I want to see Bas and Job together. This is a delulu wish of mine, and I will keep being delulu about this until I get it (which I won't).

(I'm still on my "Non is alive" agenda, so I can keep this wish alive forever, lmao.)

Pre-premiere theory: Fasai is the other character with a condition similar to Great’s. (Unconfirmed)

This won't happen (since the character they talked about in the trailer, which was where I got this theory from, was Lukwa). The only reason I'm keeping this theory is because I need the show to prove to me that Fasai doesn't have precognitive abilities so I can label this as wrong and move on.

Now, can you give me more of Fasai in next week's episode? I need more of Natty on my screen! Please, and thank you!

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Tyme has a precognitive ability similar to Great’s (or might develop one). (Unconfirmed)

I was right that Tyme would also have an OOBE, and I was right that his heart also stopped at 11:00.

The question is if Tyme will also get a precognitive ability (or some other supernatural power) now that he's in his OOBE timeline.

It's possible, so I'm keeping this theory.

Revised/developed wild-ass pre-ep. 2 theory: Tyme is having his own out-of-body experience. (Confirmed)

We got it confirmed in this week's episode. Not a surprise that this theory would be confirmed, though, but still.

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Fasai (and/or her father) is in league with someone within the police force. (Confirmed)

This was actually confirmed last week. I totally missed that Samarn asked Korn how much longer Police Colonel Warit (who they called a general in the subs, btw, but it said Pol.Col. Warit on him on MDL a couple of weeks ago when I needed to double-check on another character's name, so I'm going with Police Colonel) could delay things for them to get rid of the evidence at the headquarters for the illegal gambling sites. So, we've already seen (or, technically heard) that Fasai's dad is in league with the police force and misusing his power.

Pre-ep. 3 theory: There are different timelines at play. (Unconfirmed)

Well, this one is pretty obvious, right? I've written a long ass post about my thoughts on the timelines and a post with the scenes in the first 6 episodes in chronological-ish order (including both the real past and the different timelines).

Besides the obvious ones (the real past, Great's OOBE timeline, Tyme's OOBE timeline, and the present), I also feel like there might be something going on with Tonkla.

Last week (or some weeks ago, I can't remember...) I wrote that I would only confirm this if I get the majority of these timelines confirmed, which I already have. But I don't mind waiting another week to find out if there is another timeline or not. So, I'm keeping this theory here for now.

Pre-premiere theory: Great’s (Bible’s) tattoos have something to do with the story. (Because I refuse to believe otherwise! lol) (Unconfirmed)

I'm pretty sure this isn't true. However...

Just like I wrote last week (and the week before that, and the week before that, and the week before that...): I swear I'm keeping this theory because it hasn't been confirmed (or denied), yet. That's the only reason I'm keeping this theory.

I swear I'm not keeping this theory to add this image to at least one post I write each week. Nope, that's not the reason...

Pre-ep. 3 theory: Great has 4 minutes to wake up/get his heart to start beating again. (Unconfirmed)

This theory has already been confirmed through Lukwa and through Den's research. But I want to see what happens, if Great does/doesn't wake up. So I'm keeping this a little longer, even though it's basically already confirmed.

Pre-premiere theory: Someone will die/fake their death. (Unconfirmed)

As I've written in the previous posts in this series on my 4 Minutes theories, this theory was pretty obvious from the start. Sammon kills characters all the time, lol.

But, I also mentioned in one of the previous posts that I won't confirm this theory until one of the more important characters dies. And that's excluding Great and Tyme.

Technically, Dome has already been killed by Title. But, I need more.

I've previously speculated on who would be killed and wrote Dome, Title, and perhaps Korn, which I still stand by.

Title is probably already dead, even though it hasn't been confirmed. As soon as he (or Korn, or both) is dead (and confirmed to be dead, because finding an unidentified body isn't enough, lol), I'll mark this theory as confirmed.

Pre-ep. 4 theory: Great's actions during his OOBE won't change anything in the present. (Unconfirmed)

I want Great to wake up and face the consequences of whatever he did (or didn't do) in the real past. Or die knowing he can't change shit, lol.

We'll (probably?) find out in the next episode.

Pre-ep. 4 theory: The note saying "Can you forgive me, Great?" is written by the mystery woman in the gallery. (Wrong)

Well, I will mark this as wrong.

Too bad I didn't use my initial theory in this post though, especially the part where I thought that particular note came from someone who talked to Great at the hospital in the present. It's just that the words were filtered through Great's mind, which is probably why the handwriting was different.

Am I sad I didn't use this theory in these posts? No. Because I know I was, kind of, right anyway, lol.

Pre-ep. 7 theory: Tyme and Great met as kids (Confirmed)

I based this theory on the way Tyme said "You're still afraid of dogs?" in last week's episode. And it was quickly confirmed.

Pre-ep. 5 theory: The bodies the police find are the people who died in the real past. (Unconfirmed)

I'm guessing the real reason we haven't found out who that second body belongs to is because Tonkla hasn't killed Title yet from our current vantage point. I think he shot Great before he killed Title.

But, anyway, it's already been confirmed that Dome's body was found. And I'm pretty sure the second one is Title. I just need it confirmed.

It would be nice if they could find Nan's body too and take down Samarn.

Anyway, I'm keeping this theory for now.

Wild-ass pre-ep. 2 theory: Great will get Tyme's heart (after Tyme is shot). (Unconfirmed)

This is not the Transplant I want, btw. But it might be possible (probably not).

(Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. I have no idea if this is medically possible considering where Tyme was shot and how far he might be from a hospital (since I know a body needs to be hooked up to a ventilator to be able to keep the organs alive if organ donations are to be possible). So, excuse my lively imagination, lol.)

I haven't had the time to develop this theory, which I've been wanting to do for weeks now. I have so much to say about it (even though most of it will never happen, lol).

So, I'm keeping this theory even though I know it won't happen.

Wild-ass pre-ep. 3 theory: The number 4 marks a character with death. (Unconfirmed)

The number 4 (which in Cantonese is pronounced very similarly to the word "death") marks characters with death. Either actual death or something like a cardiac arrest (which can be saved).

Those characters are:

Great, who started off in bed 4 in the 1st episode, and is surrounded by the number during his OOBE.

Manee, who is lying in room number 4 at the hospital. (It's already been confirmed that she's dead in the real past.)

View, Title, and Dome who are near the 4 on the trashcan in the 2nd episode. (It might just be one or it might be all three, my guess is all three. And Dome is already confirmed to be dead in the real past.)

The elderly lady in bed 4 that Great had intubated even though Den said it might've been more humane to let her die.

And Tyme who is around the number several times at the hospital and on the escalator when he and Great were at the shopping mall, etc.

Also, since the show is playing with different timelines, the number 4 might signify the characters that die/died in the real past/present:

Great, who was shot and flatlined at the hospital.

Tyme who was also shot and is now experiencing his OOBE.

Manee, who Great hit with his car and left to die.

View, who might've been killed by Title if Great hadn't helped her escape from him in his OOBE timeline?

Dome, who was killed by Title.

Title, who, let's be honest, will die (most likely murdered by Tonkla).

And the elderly lady in bed number 4 who will, most likely, die because of her illness.

Let's see how wrong I am about this.

I will confirm this if I get the majority correct. And, I will say that NDEs don't count. I want them dead and gone, lol.

Predictions going into the last episode:

Korn will find out Tonkla shot his brother, and then he'll die (hopefully at the hands of Tonkla).

Win will die (because he's an idiot).

Warit will die (because I want him to).

Chanin will die (because he's an asshole).

Great's mother will survive because I need her to lose it when she realizes her son's been shot.

Fasai, who is done with the idiot men in her life, will become Prime Minister (this won't happen, but I wanted to add that here anyway, lol).

Great and Tyme will reunite in Tyme's OOBE and realize there's nothing they can do to change reality, so they chill in these last 4 minutes they get together.

The end.

Let's see how wrong I am.

(Btw, if Lukwa could wake up from her OOBE because of her lover's voice, will Natcha come back and get Tyme to wake up? And, the way Great's eye moved when Tyme talked to him in the ICU... It's possible that Tyme can get Great to wake up. But Tyme seems fucked, lol. Someone will probably find him and get his some help, though. The place wasn't that abandoned, right?)

Results so far:

Total theories since the trailer: 37

Confirmed theories: 11.5

Unconfirmed theories: 17.5

Wrong/scrapped theories: 8

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of May 2024

[last month]

May 2024 was finals + road trip home from uni + getting settled in at home for the summer, so the songs on this month's list were the soundtrack to a really busy time for me. (Because of that, I'm extra grateful to them for helping me power through it all!) I didn't have the brainspace to be properly excited about any new releases (except Repion's at the end of the month), so a lot of the songs here kind of snuck up on me. Surprisingly, I'd still say I enjoyed May's releases more than April's, though!

1. Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

The Drake-Kendrick beef finally graced my YouTube recommended at the beginning of May, just in time for "Not Like Us" to save me from the Inevitable Finals Gloom. The beat was what hooked me at first (so string instrument!! so texture!!), but there are SO MANY good lines here--more than enough to keep me excited about this song, even after I massively overplayed it in just a few days of finals. (I'm a 'leave songs on repeat for hours as I float in and out of The Work Vortex' kind of guy, you know?)

2. Candy Store -- from the 2014 Heathers soundtrack

No complicated reason here: the vocal performances are just breathtaking, so I haven't been able to get this song off my mind for the past two weeks. Shoutout to @embraceofday for introducing me to this one! (That was a couple of years ago, I think, but somehow it came back to me recently, and I've been more obsessed than ever!)

3. Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl -- yeule

I've been getting ads for I Saw the TV Glow all month, and they worked on me--sort of? I still have no plans to see the movie, but this song from the trailer has taken my listening by storm. Lyzette G on YouTube mentioned yeule last year (I am SO jealous of their taste in music), so I'm proud to say I like a yeule song now! This is peak 'driving home on the highway at night and your heart is all sparkles because she said she'll text you later', which is one of my favorite kinds of music, actually. (Yes, this is oddly specific. But it's also like A General Feeling, you know?) It's eerily inhuman but also full of longing; it keeps a consistent, hazy atmosphere while still including a few moments of emotional punch--it's great!!

4. Down Swinging -- Holly Humberstone

Saxophone solo!!!!!!! That actually isn't my favorite part of this song, though--the way Holly Humberstone sings "watch me keep my cool tonight" at the end of every chorus is full of just SO many emotions--shame, determination, acceptance, longing--I find it captivating (really, every lyric in this chorus is a gem). I love songs like this (see also: Betty Who's "You Can Cry Tomorrow" and Lee Hi's "HOLO"), songs that aren't about being over something bad but are just about being within something bad and getting by anyway. Being stuck, and knowing you're stuck, and being okay regardless? Sometimes, I just need to know that's possible, and "Down Swinging" makes it feel more real than ever.

5. I'm the Ocean -- Neil Young

My dad and I ran across this on our (twelve-hour) drive home from my university, while we were listening through this playlist. My dad is a huge Neil Young fan, while I'm just meh about him--"I'm the Ocean" caught my attention from first listen, though, and I've been revisiting it daily since then. (Funny enough, my dad doesn't care for this one.) I love its haziness, how it walks the line between hopelessness and rage and how you're never exactly sure how to feel about the speaker, or about the song itself. I love singing "I'm the ocean / I'm a giant undertow". (Like, that is a captivating lyric. So powerful, so simple yet so layered with meaning?) I love the crunchy TV-static guitar!!!

6. From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come) [Live at Malieveld...] -- Bruce Springsteen

Spotify keeps notifying me whenever Springsteen releases a new compilation album (they know me too well...)--and he just keeps releasing them. I'm not sure I needed all these albums, but I'm glad to get this gem, at least! This one has a super-singable chorus, and the fiddle solo is SUCH a high.

7. Turn it up -- PinkPantheress

Not particularly exciting, but super fun! It's a solid serotonin jam to go on a playlist with all the early Twice title tracks.

8. No Biggie -- Itzy

SO CUTE SO CUTE I LOVE IT. With "None of My Business" + this one, I've been so glad to see how well the post-NewJeans world suits Itzy. My main problem with a lot of their music, especially title tracks, is that the songs strain their vocals in ways that end up sounding unpleasant to me--a chilled-out song like this one reminds me just how listenable Itzy's music can be!

9. Rollercoaster - MTV Unplugged -- Bleachers

I think Spotify suggested this one to me. I am THE Bleachers girlie, but I'd never heard this specific version of "Rollercoaster" and oh my GOD does it make me emotional. If you've ever cried to "Someone to You" by Banners, I think you already understand what this one makes me feel.

10. The Ghost of Tom Joad (feat. Tom Morello) - Live in Anaheim, CA -- Bruce Springsteen

My #1 song from my #1 artist!! (Sorry, "Badlands". Your top spot was beautiful while it lasted, and we've had so many good times, but I just... I don't think you're the one for me anymore...) I did an essay about Springsteen for one of my finals, believe it or not, and I talked about this song in particular, so that explains the sudden spike in listens--though it's constantly in my rotation regardless.

11. Wave - Ollounder's Bold Dynamics Mix -- Ateez

It's a time-honored tradition, now: trashy club remixes are my THING during finals. This one stuck with me all month, though, because it's actually kind of compelling--I find it fun, even when I'm not speedrunning a final paper. "Wave" is just a really sweet song already, and I think this remix adds a variety of sounds that make it not just pleasant, but also super captivating.

12. Lookalike -- Conan Gray

No comment...

13. Set Me Free (Lindgren Remix) -- Twice

Re: trashy club remixes for finals. This is so trash, I can't even argue that it's worth listening to at any time other than finals season. (The synth riffs in the prechorus are kind of awesome, actually, but the vocals sound like you're listening to them through a tin can telephone.) It was a great hype song while I studied, though.

14. Maybe -- (G)I-DLE

My second-favorite G-IDLE song ever (though I have no idea how I'll make room for "Eyes Roll" and "Revenge" in an updated top ten) is never not welcome on my most-listened list, but I have no idea why this is here. Maybe I left it on repeat while working on a paper? It has the right kind of beat drop to give me the same kick of adrenaline as my trashy club remixes do--though in terms of how much I admire it, "Maybe" is on a whole different level!

15. BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

This is a wildly addictive song. The Gwen Stefani sample is such a good hook, but it's used so sparingly that I'm left hanging on Megan's every word, waiting for it to appear again. The deep bass makes the song feel full, though--by the end, I'm left wanting more without feeling like the listening experience was actually incomplete. My favorite line is definitely the Birkenstocks one; I still smile every time I hear it! I'm so excited for the album :)

Five-Star Songs (& Albums!) This Month

BOA -- Megan Thee Stallion

Lime -- Soojin

With just a few twists on a sweet, summery formula, "Lime" manages to stand out from the pack of cheery dance songs coming out at this time of year. The orchestral intro is so exciting, and the weirdly gritty vocal production (I still have no idea why anyone would consider that on a song like this--this album has some truly baffling production choices amid all the fantastic ones) unexpectedly grew on me. This song does sweet-and-sour so well!!

[Speaking of baffling production choices: "Drop Top" from this same album is a very nice listen, but what the hell is happening in the bridge... It would totally be a five-star song for me if not for that screechy violin (?) note in the dance break. Like. Why. Why would you just repeat the same ear-piercing note. The whole time. Have you considered a riff? Or making it just a TAD BIT quieter? Or just... a lower note? Anyway. Also, the ENTIRE title track, "Mona Lisa", is a baffling production choice. Just. The whole thing.]

Not Like Us -- Kendrick Lamar

Summer Daze -- Soojin

I like "Lime" a lot more than this one, but I can't help but admire "Summer Daze" too! I'm so in love with how it's a pop b-side just feels so authentically indie-rock? Like, "Más Lejos" by Atalhos was one of my favorite songs of the summer last year, and that's an actual indie-rock song--and it feels like everyone who had a hand in "Summer Daze" understood exactly why people enjoy that type of song & decided to write a love letter to the genre. This track would fit right in with anyone's wistful k-indie playlist!

Entre todas lo arreglamos (album) -- Repion

Yeah, fuck it--I added Repion to the stanlist this month! After this EP, how could I not? The pre-release "El día no me da" had my heart already--it was so similar to their last album, though, that I found it a tad bit boring. But as an opener for a song like "Viernes", "El día no me da" reaches its full potential; it functions so perfectly that my qualms completely disappear. "El día no me da" builds up the energy to this delightful high, and then "Viernes" is the rollercoaster ride back down, full of twists and turns--I love the experimentation with rhythm, which continues in "Qué hay de ti?". It adds such a nice edge to the album; even though this release retains the things that drew me to Repion in the first place--strong vocals and incessant energy--it feels anything but boilerplate. This EP has only one flaw, and it's the kazoo-sounding thing that shows up in "Vienen de pasárselo bien". Maybe it's a perfectly lovely instrument in other contexts, but I think it just sounds silly here, and I really would rather just appreciate their (always delightful) harmonies in peace. Those harmonies do save the song for me, though! To be fair, this album only has four songs--putting it in the albums category is kind of a stretch--but these four songs are packed with enough interesting ideas to make this the fullest EP I've heard in forever. (Plus, Repion gets extra-credit points for releasing my album of the year--a full-length one, too--last year.) I'm not sure if this EP will turn out to be a smaller part of an upcoming album, but I really hope so--I love this sound for them!

[d3f3n3str4t10n]

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley Progress Updates!

Okay I had a feeling I missed one of these LMAO.

Never! These updates haven't been huge, so it seems I didn't miss too much besides some more development issues.

Despite what this lovely graphic showed us last time, it seems that development has stalled a bit, thanks to the new roadmap for how the chapters are split up now.

What I find interesting is that they single out Chapter 3A, implying Chapter 3B doesn't have the same story transitioning issues with Chapter 4 that Chapter 3A does... if 3B even leads into 4 anymore, that is.

I think this is the most genuine disdain I've ever seen in her eyes...

Regardless, I'm optimistic that Nemlei will figure it out eventually :) Besides, we have a new teaser trailer to watch! And it's... probably the heaviest one so far.

Maybe it's just me and my own experiences with this subject, but this one hit pretty hard. We see a scene with Andrew and Julia, in their college years, in her dorm. Julia convinces Andrew to listen to the phone calls Ashley leaves for her. From the way the narrator calls Andrew "He" and "Him" instead of "You" we can tell that this scene is from Julia's perspective.

Andrew is very dismissive, claiming that it being Ashley is simply not possible... despite having seemingly been much more alarmed regarding the messages yesterday.

He shuts down any attempts Julia makes to figure out the situation, and when Julia tries to bring up how... 'close' the two can get, he... I don't want to say 'lashes out' at her, but he gets very frustrated at the least.

Julia steps back, frightened, and Andrew tries to calm her down... but he seems to be half-assing it pretty much, not hiding his own frustrations with her very well at all. Julia is crying in the corner meanwhile it feels like Andrew is just trying to get her to shut up.

Even in their apology, he's just trying to shut her down. The way he says the line above just reminds me more of his relationship with Ashley. How frustrating she is for him, and yet, how he sticks around her regardless. Pretty heavy shit. Gives a lot more depth to Andrew and Julia's relationship than we had. We already knew that he was pretty dismissive of Ashley's treatment towards her, despite him still being upset that Julia broke things off in the start of the game, but we see the full brunt of it in this scene, it seems. Andrew was... not the best listener, it seems. We know that Ashley is a pretty big psycho already, but Andrew getting called out on his own behavior by someone who is actually a good person (AKA not Ashley or Renee) is something we've been needing for a while. Reminds us that while Andrew can act as the voice of 'reason' with Ashley, he himself is not all that reasonable, and has his own fat list of flaws he needs to address. Given that this is almost certainly a flashback scene, I wonder what event in the game will trigger it to play... Anywho, thanks for reading! See y'all next time~!

[shellylongerbeam95]

I watched Season 1 & made it to Season 2 episode 3 of The Bear Saturday evening & I am in love with Jeremy Allen White 🥰😍 he is my favorite on the show I absolutely love him. 🤭😍

I haven't seen anything that he has been in The Bear is the VERY FIRST time I am seeing him & OH MY GOODNESS?! I LOVE HIM?! 🥰😍

This wasn't supposed to happen I wasn't trying to feel some kind of way for him..

But out of everyone he was the one to get my attention, he had my attention when I watched the trailer for the show.

So I had to watch it, plus it gives me something different to watch & something new to watch.

Because I never seen this show before & now that I have seen it I am really enjoying it & I am crazy for Jeremy Allen White..THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?!!..🥰😍

I am not supposed to feel this way about him, but I do & for some reason I am loving it & I am enjoying every moment of it. 🤭🥰

But I like him so much that when someone on the show comes at him or starts something with him I am like "Leave him alone" I have such a soft spot for him, my heart really does love him, I even find myself smiling like an idiot whenever I see him & getting really happy whenever I see him like what is he doing to me..🤭🥰

•Now on to my thoughts about the others & on the show so far ⬇⬇:

Okay so uhm..DON'T even get me started on his sister Sugar I absolutely CAN NOT STAND HER everytime she is on my laptop screen I am like "Ugh get her off of my screen" I CAN'T STAND HER..I didn't like her the moment she first showed up she is nothing but drama & annoying, she is always coming at Carmy with her nonsense like girl enough stop..

I seriously can not stand her everytime I see her I want to go through my laptop screen & rip her head off, I absolutely HATE HER she puts Carmy through so much it is annoying it's like ugh shut up & leave him alone. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Also the show is SO STRESSFUL not even halfway through the first episode of season one it is so much & the yelling & cussing is crazy they was stressing me out & all I am doing is watching the show.

I haven't even seen all of season two & I haven't even seen season three yet.

So it should be interesting especially since everyone is saying season three is chaotic it makes me wonder what other craziness they are going to have happen or what crazy arguments are going to happen in season three..🤔

All I know is they better not stress Carmy out anymore, he has been so stressed lately give him a break.

He has been through enough & they better leave him alone too he is trying his best they need to get off of his back especially his annoying sister..

•Final Thoughts ⬇⬇:

I am loving The Bear I still have to watch the rest of season two & I have to watch season Three I have to see what happens in the last Two seasons.

But I can't wait for season 4 I hope it is just as good as the other seasons well as good as season one (I hope).

Also I am absolutely loving Jeremy Allen White 🥰😍 I never thought I would be a fan of him or even love him as much as I do right now.

But I do especially after watching The Bear, He has me feeling all kinds of ways right now.

So yeah, I think I am now a fan of him especially after seeing him in The Bear again I absolutely love him. 🤭😍

WHY DOES HE HAVE ME FEELING LIKE THIS?! 🤭🥰 WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?! 😍😍

[mamaito]

What are the most surreal and macabre movies you ever watched? Your favorites?

It's hard to actually find more movies where it is both surreal and macabre at the same time, but there's possibly somewhere out there that I haven't seen yet so here's the ones I've personally watched. Some of them are only surreal and the other just macabre so browse at your leisure.

I seem to have forgotten other movies, my bad. I can't really remember some even if I try to put my head around it. I'll be putting a ✯ symbol to signify that it's my favorite:

Alice (1988) - [✯] A surreal, live action mixed with stop motion animation that is a loose adaptation of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It's goal is to create a more surreal and dreamlike adaptation as the director was disappointed that other movies of Alice in Wonderland don't bother leaning into it. It is as you'd expect it to be, it is like having a fever dream but the animations of the various character's and design are amazing.

Eraserhead (1977) - [] Those who are a fan of surreal movies will no doubt mention you Eraserhead as it is a more well known one. It is a black and white movie about a man going to his girlfriend's house to ask for not wanting to visit anymore, he gets invited to a dinner with the family only to then find out she got pregnant and had a kid so now they have to marry.

You should experience it for yourself lol, the fun part is just seeing the over exaggerated menial things to the bizarre. This is not my favorite as I prefer something more interesting to analyze and theorize.

Fantastic Planet (1973) - [] Animated film about large blue aliens with human pets. But the human pet then learns of a group of other living humans with no owners forming a resistance against the blue tyrants and go to an all out war. What is there to say other than you should go watch it and see for yourself, the colors are nice.

Hope / Wish (2013) - [] Korean drama film that's about this young girl, So-won, who was assaulted severely to the point of death and the effects of it on her family. Her life has drastically changed and has started to fear men that her own father can't even hold her so he dresses up in this cartoon character just to be close to her. It is very heart wrenching and depressing.

This is based on the real events that happened which is the "Na-young case", and yes the man who disabled and assaulted her is still alive and free. Yes, he is protected by the government like a president. Yes, I will never visit korea because of this.

It's such a beautiful day (2012) - [✯] an animated film that relies sorely on it's narrator and the stick figures shown to you, it is about a man who is suffering from an unknown illness as his memories and vision slowly disintegrates; I really love this movie as it is relatable, I still remember the trailer I watched on youtube and I was entranced by it (I was engrossed by stick figure animations during that time).

This is a movie that you need to experience for yourself as me just describing it to you won't give it much justice, there's also surreal imagery but I don't think it's leaning too hard on it, just down to earth enough to show you the protagonist's decaying mental state.

Guinea Pig Series: Mermaid in the manhole (1988) - [✯] A live action film about an artist looking for inspiration finds an injured mermaid under a manhole. As expected from a gore movie, it is not without nudity and mutilation. What I like about it is the concept of a mermaid being found in such a filthy location of all things rather interesting as I'm so used to seeing them always in either a vast ocean or a certain magical place.

Mad God (2021) - [✯] Another surreal and macabre stop motion film, the plot or rather the perspective of different characters sewed together to create a film is about these assassins sent from above to head down and search for something to prolong their dying world despite it no longer being a redeemable one.

It is a feast for eye pleasing visuals and the dark atmosphere is pretty good, I really miss these kind of animations, most tend to only be short films but this one was made in over 30 years and managed to finish the entirety of it. Just like Alice and It's such a beautiful day, you should experience it for yourself.

Martrys (2008) - [] Live action psychological horror film, a girl from a young age is found and rescued, only to grow up and take revenge against the people who tormented her that day. Another woman, who also grew up alongside her is also abused but grew dependent on the other as she tries to keep the other from succumbing to the psychological torment she is going through. After all that hardship, many things comes to unravel and the woman is left to see it all and then is chosen as a martyr.

There is a lot of plot twists in this film and it doesn't bother to let you catch your breath. There are many things not said to you out loud but the ending is where almost everyone who saw it keeps debating about. If you also want to know what this movie's about, you should go watch it. This could've been one of my favorites but I feel something is missing but I'm not sure what.

Marquis (1989) - [✯] A surreal live action french film, about the life of Marquis De Sade (Where the word sadism came from) in the bastille prison. Most of the actors are wearing animal masks and this movie has a rather unique sense of humor, if we can call it that.. You see, the main character has a talking penis (Yes..) and it is also a character in itself because Marquis De Sade is a known sexual deviant in real life and so in this film he is contemplating and arguing with his penis, Colin, on whether to succumb to his desires or remain in control and focus on his work, letting his sexual desires remain only in erotic literature, which is writing depraved stories like 120 days of Sodom.

I remember seeing a screenshot from this movie on a chan board years ago, about a female cow being tortured and there was a lot of milk being churned out and I knew right away that I needed to watch it. It took me years to find it but here it is lol. Anyway, I liked it because it's just out there.

Mr. Arashi's Amazing Freak Show / Shoujo Tsubaki (1992) - [✯] Japanese animated eroguro film. This is a story about a young girl named Midori, who has become an orphan after her mother passed, she is then taken by a travelling circus as their own and with no other place to go, she complies. There are all kinds of abuse occurring, especially towards Midori, even when she is given an opportunity to lead a better life, it is taken from her right away. The concept of love is questioned, especially in a lawless place where it is the only option for a lesser evil and to a good life.

I cannot stress enough how much I love this film, especially the eroguro movement. I also admire the creator's dedication to fund and finish his own movie by himself. Eroguro movement tackles taboo subjects that the common people do not want to see or acknowledge. It is about a child led astray too soon and left to her own devices for people to take advantage of, when it comes to choosing a partner, she lacks the ability to assess those around her and in turn leaves her up to be abused by one. At the same time it is asking you if you'll deny Midori the right to be with the dwarf when it is the lesser evil that she will ever experience.

It is not for everyone, but as a fan I love it. There is also a live action one, it has a different ending and it has fleshed out Masamitsu, the dwarf further with some changes to it if you're ever interested.

Paprika (2006) - [✯] Animated surreal japanese film, the plot is very hard to understand at first but it is about these researchers who is studying about dreams using a device called DC and record them. But one of these devices got stolen and now this thief has been invading other people's dream and is trying to bring these said dreams into reality.

Now it is up to Paprika, a persona of one of the lead researchers to enter dreams and find who's causing it with the help of a detective, of course. The music is great too because of course it is, Hirasawa Susumu is the one making the music.

The Lighthouse (2019) - [] Black and white live action film about two lighthouse keepers stuck in a remote island together, but due to the weather, their return back home is constantly delayed. The story focuses on their unequal relationship between boss and worker, the secrets they keep to one another and the eventual decline of their sanity.

Throughout the film, you will question everything you'll hear because the two of them are not trustworthy narrators with stories constantly changing without whim. It is hard to tell who exactly is telling the truth but that's the fun of it.

The Lobster (2015) - [✯] A surreal dark comedy movie about a man looking for love in this world where you are punished for not having a partner in 45 days otherwise you'll turn into an animal of your choosing. The movie criticizes both of the extreme sides, those who believe that happiness can be found through having a partner and the individualists who believe that happiness is found where you are alone. People going out of their way to lie just to find a common interest out of fear of being alone and those punishing others just because you are alone and want others to comply with your beliefs.

It is a funny movie, I give you that. The best part for me is when the isolationists are celebrating and they have to bring their own music and dance by themselves and the movie doesn't bother to put a music of it's own. The ending is left to our interpretation on whether the protagonist really went with it or not and whether his lover will continue to wait for him in that diner alone.

The Thief And The Cobbler (1993) - [] An unfinished animated film. It has surreal visuals but it is not macabre. It is a complete feast for the eyes at how much detail and color it has.

The plot is centered around, as you'd expect, the thief and the cobbler. The thief steals from the cobbler and the man tries to get back at the thief but comes across Zigzag, a powerful advisor of the king.

The wolf house / La Casa Lobo (2020) - [] Surreal stop animation film about a german woman, Maria, seeking refuge in Chile, entering a abandoned house so that she can hide from the wolf looking for her only to find two children, symbolizing as pigs and taking them as her own. It is referencing the Nazi's influence in Chile, though I am not fully well informed regarding the political side of what happened in the country, what I did gather from my viewing is a rather oppressive one that's built from propaganda and the like.

Though she claims to mean well in caring for them, the film shows that she thinks lowly of them and that without her, they wouldn't become civilized or human. To Maria, only when they resemble or look like her are they considered as people and the path to happiness which may also be viewed as the remnants of the cult still rubbing off on her to see it that way. At the same time, she is constantly harassed by said wolf, critizing her abilities to be independent from the cult she was once a part of and her ability to take care of two children on her own.

The ending leaves an ambigious conclusion to the three, and whether she survived or not is up for debate. It presents itself as a fairytale like story telling while letting the clausthrophobic atmosphere of the film give off a constant uneasy feeling.

When the wind blows (1986) - [] An animated film about an elderly british couple living in their home till they hear the news of a incoming nuclear attack, you watch as they try to find ways to keep themselves safe in albeit useless and naive attempts as they are clearly not prepared nor knowledgeable against it, even with the help of their pamphlets where the government advises them what to do during it is rather ill informed and gives out confusing instructions.

You get to watch them slowly disintegrate from the effects of the nuclear fallout and die. I do like the art style though, makes me interested in seeing the creators comic version of this movie, eventually.

120 days of sodom (1975) - [] It is a live action film about the ruling people, the government, deciding to take young boys and girls in a secluded castle in order to commit their depraved fantasies into reality. I would say this is a loose adaptation as the director of this movie has decided to put his own interpretations and turning it as a critique on the italian government on how it treats it citizens.

This is one of those unique films that you would never consider having such high quality production to it, and though many people who are just casual viewers would not think twice on what it's trying to say, it may come off as just typical shock value. It is not my favorite but I get the message it's trying to say.

[billiam-shakespeare]

There is something i would like to say about the TMNT fandom.

As we all know, when Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles happened, there was a lot of people who hated it (and still do).

When I saw that there was a new show about my favorite turtles I thought "Oh cool, I'll watch it later" even when I saw the designs and I didn't really liked them. But they were different kinds of turtles and that was a good detail that I liked.

I forgot about rottmnt until the movie came out. My little brother showed me the trailer and I loved the animation. It was so amazingly done.

Unfortunately, I also forgot about it. 2020 had my head with too many things and I didn't remember Rise until a few months ago.

When I saw all of the changes that happened in this iteration, I HATED it. Change of weapons, change of roles, etc.

Leonardo was not the older brother and perfect son I looked up to be when I grew up

Raphael was not my lonely and angry driven turtle I felt identified with

Donatello was not the pacifist and patient brother I would have liked so much to have

Michelangelo didn't change as much (in my opinion) and he's the only constant in all of the versions

I started to watch RotTMNT out of spite. I wanted to hate it with a reason.

But you know what? I love it. I'm not even on season 2 yet but the changes they made are absolutely amazing and refreshing. Leonardo's one liners are cringy and funny and it's not the first Leo I have seen joking around (Next Mutation anyone?). Raphael looks intimidating but he's a teddy bear AND the parentified kid??? (I DID NOT NEED to identify myself more with Raph thank you very much). Donatello is UNHINGED and I enjoy every moment of him being on screen (also he's canonically autistic AND I LOVE IT). Michelangelo, as I said has not changed much. In any case he's more savage and it's so funny omg.

I can still see my boys under all of that. Raphael is still the protector of the group, Donatello is still insecure about his role in the team, Leonardo still craves Splinter's validation and both the twins cover their issues with their new personalities while Michelangelo is still the most sensitive little brother.

Old fans should give this version an opportunity. It's not the same tale, you don't know what is going to happen next, you don't have the comics to guide yourself, the new characters are awesome, and when the old ones appear you will not even feel nostalgia because they feel new, too. (The Krangs for example, I haven't watched the movie yet, but I ate the spoilers like a bowl of cereal and MY GOD it's terrifying. I would have cried if I saw that Krang when i was a toddler in the 90's)

Well what I want to say is that at the end of the day, they still are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, even after all the changes. Because as Master Splinter said once,

But my comfort characters remain the same.

[forcebookish]

sorry but am I missing something here 😭 the directors/writers have REPEATEDLY said they wanted to portray different types of queer relationships and guess what? topmew are exactly that and also the most realistic which is probably why so many hate them bc it hits a little too close to home for them. believe it or not but most couples aren't just full of fights and passion (or whatever you wanna call it) but actually start out slowly and naturally progress into something more. now maybe that's boring to some but it's the story the writers wanted to tell and it's needed in a show like this. and the only reason things might seem weird at times is bc both we AND top know the dark cloud that is hanging over them but mew doesn't. the way they act in certain scenes is very deliberate. I mean I thought this was like the most basic of logic but I guess not.

yes!!!! i sound like a broken record but they're literally just dating!! they're supposed to be a reprieve from everyone else's drama, an island floating amid a sea of shit - it really is only because of that "dark cloud," (perfect phrase for it btw) that makes their scenes weird to viewers, not what the scene is actually showing. even top thinks about it less than these guys🤣

especially since they were looking for ways to condemn him BEFORE IT EVEN HAPPENED. even when it was obvious he didn't want to sleep with boston!!! do they really think he was lying to boston when he said he didn't want to sleep with him???? ?? ??? ???? for what purpose? to... sleep..... with him.......? lol

i've seen so many people twist scenes that were obviously meant to be sweet to suit their own purposes, either saying that something is "off" because [insert made up thing here lol], the music isn't "romantic" (and not all of it is, sure, but jangly guitar and soft piano isn't romantic now? ok), they're actually playing each other for whatever reason, etc.

the truth is, if you hadn't ever watched the trailer, you would never come to those conclusions. you would have no idea until episode three.

in fact, more people would probably have seen the shower assault scene for what it actually was. oh, the "narrative" (omg one person said this shit to me and i haven't let it go soz) is telling us that top is a """"cheater"""" because... he later sleeps with the guy he doesn't want to sleep with in the first two episodes?🤔 you would never think that if you didn't know that he sleeps with boston in the next episode🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 they'd be like what the fuck top told him he doesn't want to sleep with him and this guy ambushes him in a public shower, what a creep. (AKA THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE.) the same goes for the actual car scene!

but see, thinking that they have any logic is your first mistake, anon. error 404: logic not found. i've even seen someone who thought that top was glaring at boston in the pool with nick because he was "jealous." like what...

still i'm with you, friend, i'm blindsided every week by the depths of stupidity these people will sink just to serve their own purposes. it's extra embarrassing that the writers (WHO ARE GOOD WRITERS) have to keep explaining the most basic of concepts... and yet they keep doing it...

at least we all have each other <3

thanks for stopping by!!!

[mariska]

hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far 💖 im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago 😭🫡 we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.

OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.

also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around 😭💕 also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world

anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol

[septemberrie]

Hi! I absolutely adore your Rivusa fics. 💕😊 They help with the post-show feels. Can't wait for next season to see them grow!

Something occurred to me watching the last episode. We haven't seen Musa with her wings this season, and my best guess is that she will have to accept and learn to love her powers before she gets them in the future. I just thought it would be interesting to see her get there and maybe Riven's reaction to them.

Do you think we'll ever get to see that? How do you see that happening?

Me too, anon!!! At some point before the teaser/trailer I found myself wracked by a sudden fear that they were going to fuck up Rivusa, that they'd rush it or change the characterizations they established in S1, that we made the wrong call based on 43 seconds of interaction.

AND THEN THEY ACED IT!

I'm so excited for the slow burn! They established them as equals, partners, complimentary to each other BEFORE they went in on the relationship building. It's so ready for the plucking but they took the time to not rush it. I don't know what to do with my hands!!! They killed it!!

I love and fully agree with your ideas about Musa needing to make peace with her powers before she can get her wings. I haven't done my full rewatch yet but Farah says something along the lines of being at peace with your emotions, and Musa is not there yet. Which I LOVE, even though this is a show about friendship, each fairy is on her own journey (in... varying degrees of epic-ness, but still). They don't all have to cross the "finish line" at the same time, and they don't even all have the same finish line tbh.

I definitely think it's gonna happen and it's gonna be super badass; that crystal scene was already an indication. But it's definitely gonna be a while in-universe before it happens, because Bloom's suicide is a huge blow for the Winx. I can't see any of them recovering from that any time soon. My hope is of course for Musa to turn to Riven to help her process; it can be so incredibly hard to try to process grief with the people so directly affected by it (i.e. the Winx) and Riven can be that outside ear and strength for her. And, weirdly, Dane, who saw that coming 😅 not with Riven of course but outside of that.

I don't know what Big Bad they'll be up against in S3 (crossing my fingers for the renewal!) but I need the scene of Riven being that cheerleader for her in his quiet, sardonic, but very insistent and endearing way. Reminding her to be confident in herself, her choices, her abilities. Even though she voluntarily gave up her magic, she fought like hell to stay at Alfea with her family. Riven saw that and now he can always remind her of that.