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#i hope i am not alone in this embarrassment
dmysterioblog · 2 days
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Prompt to a request (if it is okay) 🫶
Agatha and innocent fem reader+ corruption kink
Reader hasn't even had her first kiss and Agatha teaches her how to tongue kiss and so much more(fingering and magic strap)
Breeding kink as well plsss
Neighborly Desires
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Paring: Dark!Agatha Harkness x reader
Summary: You had recently moved into Westview. Your mother had passed away and you wanted a new start in a small town. Agatha was your neighbor there and she didn’t waste any time welcoming you into town. She thought you were so adorable and so innocent…she wanted to be the one to corrupt you. She needed to be patient, careful, and precise.
Warnings; dubcon, corruption kink, enchanted strap, fingering, mommy kink, cunnilingus (r receiving), breeding kink.
Word Count: 3.7k
A/n: This request has been sitting in my inbox since DECEMBER of 2023…I am extremely sorry but I hope this makes up for it. 😅
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You had recently moved into Westview. Your mother had passed away and you wanted a new start in a small town. Agatha was your neighbor there and she didn’t waste any time welcoming you into town. She watched you struggle to carry the boxes back and forth from your car to your living room and grinned. You were wearing a cute little pink dress and she couldn’t help herself.
“Hiya hon! Do you need some help with that?” You heard a friendly voice from behind you. You swiftly turned around to look at the woman, almost dropping the boxes.
“Careful, there, sweetheart. We don’t want you hurting yourself,” Agatha chuckled, taking a box from you.
“T-thank you,” you blushed, slightly embarrassed at your clumsiness. She helped you put the boxes inside your house before turning towards you.
“I’m Agatha, your neighbor to the right,” she smiled at you kindly, stretching her hand out for you to shake.
“I’m Y/n,” you shook her hand, longer than intended, “And thank you so much for helping me with those boxes. Would you like something to drink?” You offered not knowing what else to say, fidgeting with your hands.
“Y/n...” she tasted your name on her tongue, “What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Tea would be wonderful.”
“Alright, just give me a second until I find my cups,” you chuckled nervously and disappeared into your kitchen. Agatha walked to your living room and sat down. She thought you were so adorable and so innocent…she wanted to be the one to corrupt you. She waited patiently for you to finish up, thinking of all the things she had planned for you.
“I’m so sorry! I completely forgot where I packed everything. I would forget my head if it wasn’t attached to my body,” you joked as you handed Agatha her tea.
“Thank you, hon,” she took a sip, “So, what brings you here?” She asked, curious on how a girl like you ended up in this shitty town.
“Well this was my mother’s home and she passed away a few weeks ago so decided to move in.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she held your hand, gently running her thumb over your knuckles.
“No, it’s okay. We weren’t really close and I wanted a new start.”
“Well if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to knock on my door, alright sweetheart?”
“Y-yeah,” you blushed at the nickname and she grinned. You two talked for a little while longer before you bid her goodbye and continued unpacking your things. Agatha walked home with a smirk on her face. You were too cute for your own good and she knew she was going to have fun with you. The fact that you were alone in this town was a bonus.
Days passed, and her visits became more frequent, her presence becoming very comforting. Somehow many things started to break inside your home and Agatha always seemed to be there to help. She was slowly gaining your trust and finding how truly innocent you were. You hadn’t even had your first kiss, how adorable could you possibly get? Yet beneath her warmth and sweet reassurances, a cunning plan took shape. She needed to be patient, careful, and precise.
Agatha now stood next to you in your kitchen. She had offered to help you cook dinner with the excuse she didn’t want you to eat all alone. She made sure to put her hands on your waist and press her front against your ass every time she walked past you. You, of course, didn’t think anything of this, too oblivious to think badly of Agatha’s touchy behavior. She couldn’t help but tease you a little more. She leaned in close to your ear and whispered.
“You’re doing great, sweetheart.”
“T-thank you…” you tried to hide your flushed face and she chuckled.
“Why don’t you go clean up while I make the table?” Agatha said as you were finishing up.
“Okay!” You obediently took your apron off and started walking to your bathroom to clean up.
“Good girl~,” she said under her breath but just loud enough for you to hear, making you flush once again.
You quickly went in, washed your hands, and fixed your hair. While you were in the bathroom, Agatha debated whether or not she should put a spell on you so she could take you right then and there but she wanted to take her time with you. By the time you walked out, Agatha had the table set up beautifully. There were candles and rose petals on the table. It was almost like a romantic dinner. How did she do this so quickly?
“Agatha, this looks beautiful.”
“Just like you,” she complimented you, booping your nose.
“Thank you, Aggie.” You recently started calling her that. Agatha didn’t seem to mind the newfound nickname, in fact, she loved it.
“Of course, darling.” She pulled out your chair and gestured for you to sit down. She was such a gentleman. You were completely oblivious to her true intentions.
You both sat down and ate dinner. Agatha asked you all kinds of questions, she wanted to know every little detail about you. What made you blush, what made you upset, what made you cry, what made you break. You answered all the questions, not thinking anything of it, and asked some yourself. You liked Agatha, more than you actually thought. God, you were so naive.
Eventually, you both finished eating dinner and she helped you clean the dishes. She always found a way to touch you even if it was just touching your hand when you passed her a plate or spoon to dry off. She saw the slight tint on your cheeks when she did.
"We should do this more often, don’t you think?” Agatha asked, her voice carrying a hint of something you couldn't quite place.
“I would love that!” You said happily. Agatha smiled, her eyes seemed to glint in the candlelight. After you were done doing the dishes Agatha started gathering her things to go home but you stopped her.
“Can you stay and watch a movie with me?” You asked, not wanting for her to leave yet.
“I think it’s a bit late, sweetheart,” she said, wanting to hear you beg for her to stay.
“Pretty please?” You grabbed her hands in your, caressing her knuckles with your thumbs, giving her your best puppy eyes. Agatha pretended to think about it, a sly smirk on her face. You were just so cute, how could she possibly say no to you?
“…fine, I’ll stay, but not too late. You need to go to bed soon, deal?”
“Deal!” you said, excitedly, pulling her towards your couch. She sat back while you picked the movie, settling for Rapunzel, it was your favorite comfort movie. After you started playing the movie, you sat next to Agatha, subconsciously snuggling to her side. She smiled as you snuggled against her. Her arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you closer to her.
“Is this your favorite movie, sweetheart?”
“Mhm!”
“Who’s your favorite character?” Agatha asked, combing through your hair.
“Mother Gothel,” you mumbled.
“Mother Gothel, huh?” she raised an eyebrow, “Why her? She’s the villain of the story.”
“I don’t know…” you frowned slightly, “I just like her character I guess…”
“Hmm. If I were Mother Gothel and I kidnapped you into my tower, what would you do?”
“I would never leave.” Agatha was very pleased with your answer and pulled you closer.
The movie went on and by the time it was over, you were fast asleep on Agatha’s shoulder. You looked so peaceful, so vulnerable, Agatha wanted to take you right then and there but no, she had to hold herself back. She picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, gently placing you on your bed. She tucked you in before leaning into your ear.
“You will be mine.” Was all she said before leaving to go back home.
Over the passing weeks you had gotten attached to Agatha, almost obsessively. Maybe it was her caring nature or your mommy issues coming to bite you in the ass. You were sitting on your couch with Agatha once again. She had picked the movie this time, telling you it was a surprise. She started playing the movie and you soon found out it was titled Carol. You had never seen it before but curled into Agatha’s side, wanting to feel her warmth.
The movie was good and all until the motel scene. Watching as Carol and Therese started kissing and touching each other made your core feel warm. Agatha noticed the way you were trying to hide your flushed face and how your thighs clenched together and smirked. She had you exactly where she wanted you.
“What’s wrong, baby? Are you cold?” she asked, pulling you closer, placing her hand on your thigh.
“I’m f-fine,” you stuttered out, unconvincing. She chuckled and gently started rubbing your thigh. Her touch was so warm and comforting, it made you want to melt against her. She moved even closer, cupping your face to make you look at her.
“You’re trembling, sweetheart. Are you sure you’re fine?”
“I-” you realized how close your faces were, noses almost touching, “Aggie-” she finally crashed her lips against yours. You closed your eyes, savoring how soft her lips were until you pulled away, looking away from her. She smirked at your reaction, enjoying how flustered you were. She gently turned your face to look at her again.
“Sweetheart? Did you not like it?”
“No! I loved it, it's just that…I don’t know how to kiss,” you said, embarrassed.
“Aw, sweetheart,” she cupped your face, “You’re so dumb and innocent you don’t even know how to kiss. How cute.”
“Wha-” She pressed her finger against your lips, shutting you up and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Just follow my lead. I promise you will love it,” you hesitantly nodded and she kissed you again, this time moving her lips against yours and you did the same. She poked her tongue between your lips and you opened your mouth to let her in. You did your best, following her lead and moving your lips and tongue like her. Agatha moved her hand to squeeze your thighs, sliding them closer to your soaked core making you squeal and pull away.
“Agatha I don’t think-”
“Shh,” she pulled you into her lap, your thighs on either side of her legs, “Let mommy do the thinking.” You frowned slightly at her comment but then she pressed her fingers against the wet patch on your panties, making you lose any train of thought you had.
“You’re so wet baby,” she started rubbing her fingers over your clothed clit, “Is that all for me?” she asked, her other hand gripping onto your hip.
“Hmph…” You unconsciously moved your hips against her hand.
“Use your words, sweetheart,” she commanded, pressing harder against your clit, the pressure sending a wave of pleasure through your body.
“Yes…”
“That’s a good girl.” She growled, moving your panties aside to touch your bare core directly, her fingers sliding between your folds. You gasped at the new feeling. You had never felt like this before. You’ve never touched yourself let alone have sex.
“So innocent…” She said before shoving two fingers inside of you. You were so tight, so warm, so wet for her. She pumped her fingers in and out of you, rubbing your clit with her thumb.
“Such a good girl for mommy.” She praised you.
“Aggie-” you clung to her, wrapping your arms around her neck while she worked on fucking your with her fingers. Her other hand started to sneak under the thin dress you were wearing, finding that you weren’t wearing a bra at all.
“Not wearing a bra?” she pinched your nipple, “What a naughty girl…” You whimpered in response, making her chuckle. She pinched your nipple again, she started biting your neck leaving a trail of marks on your skin. She added a third finger, her thumb circling your clit faster than before and then suddenly stopped.
“Why’d you stop?” You whined desperately.
“Such a needy girl,” she picked you up like you weighed nothing and carried you upstairs like she had done before. She took you to your bedroom and sat you on your bed.
She took your dress off, throwing it elsewhere and started undressing as well. She took off her pants to reveal the enchanted strap she had been wearing. She took off her pants to reveal the enchanted strap she had been wearing. She smirked as she looked at your surprised expression.
“Like what you see, darling?” She pushed you back against the bed and climbed on top of you, your legs wrapped around her waist.
“W-wait-” You started to hesitate.
“Shh, it’s okay baby.” She gently caressed your cheek, looking into your eyes with a soft expression. Her strap was pressing against your core and she started rubbing it against you.
“It’s going to feel so good,” she pressed the tip of the strap into your entrance, “I’ll be gentle, okay?” You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded your head.
She slowly pushed the strap further inside your warm wall, watching as your mouth made an ‘o’ shape and your brows frowned in pleasure. She let out a low groan as the strap went further inside, your pussy greedily clenching around it. Her eyes roaming over your body, watching every little expression you made.
“That’s it, baby… you’re doing so good. You’re taking me so well,” she said most out of breath.
“M-mommy-” She almost lost the little control she had left when you finally called her mommy, feeling a rush of pleasure run through her body. God she was going to finally make you hers. Agatha’s grip on your hips tightened as she began to thrust into you, slowly at first, making sure you were comfortable and enjoying it.
“Oh, you like calling me that don’t you, darling?” She grunted.
“Mhm!” You nodded your head. She smirked and began to pick up the pace, thrusting faster and harder into you. She leaned down and began kissing your neck, leaving more marks as she went. Her hands roamed over your body, squeezing and pinching every inch of your skin.
“Such a good girl, taking mommy’s strap so well…you’re mine.” Agatha finally said out loud. She continued to ramble on, as she thrusted into you. She grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head, making you completely helpless beneath her.
“No one else gets to see you like this. You’re all mine. Fuck- I’m never letting you go.” Your brain had turned to mush and all you could do was chant a bunch of yeses as she snapped her hips at a brutal pace. Agatha loved how incoherent you were becoming. She loved how easily she could reduce you to a moaning mess. She began to talk to you in a soft voice, praising and mocking you at the same time.
“Look at you. Such a babbling mess. Mommy’s little dumb slut. Isn’t that right? All mine?”
“Yes! All yours!” Your voice trembled as you got closer to the edge, your orgasm building up.
“That’s right,” she moved one of her hands from your wrists to your clit, rubbing it in fast circles, “You’re all mine, and you’re going to cum for me, aren’t you?”
You tried to reply but instead let out a loud sob, tears running down your rosy cheeks from the pleasure you felt. Agatha leaned down and kissed your tears away, her movements becoming more frantic as she chased your release.
“Come on, baby. Cum for me. Be a good little slut and cum for mommy.”
Your eyes rolled back and your mouth opened in a silent scream as you fell apart. Agatha moaned as she felt your walls clench around her, sloppily helping you ride out your orgasm as best as she could as she held onto your trembling legs.
“Fuck- I’m going to fill you up nice and full of my cum, baby, you’re going to be all mine.” She came, moaning loudly as she spilled her hot seed deep inside you. She gave you a few more thrust before pulling out, making you whine in protest at how empty you felt. Her hand on your wrists loosened and she looked down at you with a satisfied smirk on her face.
“There we go…Good girl. You did so well for me, baby. So perfect,” she started kissing down your body, “Now mommy’s gonna clean you up…” She finally let go of your wrist, putting your legs together and bending them against your chest, your pussy now completely exposed to her. She used her fingers to spread your pussy lips apart. She watched as her cum leaked out of you and almost moaned at the sight.
“God look at how messy you are…” she leaned down and ran her tongue over your entrance, licking up her own cum. She lapped at your sensitive core, moaning at the taste of the two of you combined, “You taste so good, baby.”
You squirmed against her mouth, your pussy already too sensitive. Agatha chuckled and wrapped her arms around your thighs, holding you in place as she continued to eat you out. She was going to make sure you were completely clean.
“Stay still, honey. Mommy’s not done with you yet.”
“But it h-hurts-” She looked up at you with a mocking expression.
“I know it hurts, baby. That’s why you’re going to be a good girl and take it, isn’t that right?”
She nipped at your inner thigh before diving back down between your legs. You reluctantly nodded, letting her lap over your puffy folds and sucking on your clit. She moaned against your clit, enjoying the taste of your juices. She swirled her tongue around it before sucking on it again, pulling it into her mouth and teasing it with her teeth.
“Mmmm…there we go,” she kissed your clit before letting go of your legs, “All done.” She pulled you into a kiss, shoving her tongue in your mouth, making you taste yourself. You whined against her lips, finding it hard to keep up. She just chuckled and pulled away.
“Come on, baby. Let’s give you a bath.” She started picking and you absolutely melted into her. She set you on the bathroom counter while she filled the bath. You simply watched her as she put bubbles in the bath and made sure the water was at a good temperature.
Once the bath was ready, she gently picked you up and lowered you into the warm water. She sat behind you, letting you lean against her chest. She began washing your body with a soft washcloth, making sure to be extra gentle with you. When she got close to your core, you stiffened slightly, still sensitive from your orgasm and her tongue. She chuckled softly, noticing your reaction.
“Aww, is my baby still sensitive?” She pressed her fingers against your clit. You tried to swat her hand away and clench your thighs together but she took your wrist and held them against your chest while using her own legs to keep yours open.
“Just give mommy one more orgasm and we’ll be all done, okay?” She said, already playing with your clit, rubbing it in small circles.
“It hurts mommy…” you mumbled, hiding your face in the crook of her neck.
“I know it hurts, baby. But you can do it,” she continued to tease your clit, rubbing it faster and harder, “Don’t you want to make mommy proud?”
“Y-yes-” she smiled and rewarded you by letting go of your wrist and wrapping her free hand around your throat, gently squeezing it.
“That’s my good girl. Keep being good for mommy and I’ll make you feel so good, okay?” The pain finally turned into pleasure and your body pathetically melted to Agatha’s once again. Her grip on your throat tightened slightly making you light headed.
“You’re so cute when you’re like this, darling. All weak and pathetic. You’re mine to use however I want, aren’t you?” She slipped two fingers inside you, making you mewl like a dog in heat.
“I’m close!” You moaned as she nibbled on your earlobe before whispering in your ear.
“Good. Come for me, baby. Come for mommy one more time and I’ll let you rest.” Your hands clung to the hand that was still tightly wrapped around your neck for dear life as you came again. Agatha grinned, loving the way you clung to her like she was the only thing keeping you alive. How pathetic and adorable.
She kept her hand around your neck, slowly applying pressure as you came. Once you came down from your high, she loosened her grip and rubbed your neck softly, admiring the redness she left behind.
“That’s my girl. I’m so proud of you,” she soothed you, combing through your wet hair until the water in the bath became cold. She got out first, getting a towel for you before helping you out.
She gently wrapped you the towel, setting you down on the counter once again to brush the knots out of your hair. made quick work of brushing your hair, making sure it was all tangle free. Once she was done, she wrapped the towel around you tighter and lifted you, cradling you in her arms like a small child.
“It’s time to go to sleep, my sweet girl. You must be so tired huh?” she sat you down in the bed while she went to get you some pj. She made sure to be quick noticing how droopy your eyes looked. She came back a moment later with some soft, silk pajamas for you. She gently dressed you in them before tucking you into bed, pulling the blankets up to your chin.
“Comfortable, Angel?”
“Aren’t you going to stay, Aggie?” Agatha smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.
“Of course, I am, darling. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
“You promise?” She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“I promise, sweetheart. You’re mine, I’m not going anywhere. Now get some sleep.”
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burrowbarbie · 1 day
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warning: smut, angst (if you squint), MINORS DNI
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"Wait, I thought Rory was dating Dean? When did she get with Luke's nephew?" Joe asked.
You looked up from your computer to see Joe intently watching your TV. He had come over to spend some time with you and do some homework while you studied.
"Did you watch some of this without me?" Joe teased.
"You need to focus on your work. I thought that is why you came over here in the first place."
Joe let out a laugh and turned back to the TV, leaving you to continue working. But your attention kept being drawn to him as he sat at your desk, leaning against the chair with his legs spread apart. You couldn't help but notice how thick and muscular his thighs were. As he pushed his hair back and chewed on a pencil, you found yourself unable to look away.
"Are you almost done?" Joe asked. He caught you staring at him and it made you feel embarrassed, so you quickly tried to focus on your work again. You hoped he wouldn't bring it up, but then you saw him get up and walk towards you.
"I think you're done," Joe said, closing your laptop.
You had been hanging out with Joe for a few weeks now, trying to make time in both of your busy schedules to meet up whenever possible. You had gone for quick lunches, hung out at each other's dorms after practices, and even went off campus a few times to watch movies or have dinner together. But due to the short amount of time you had alone, things between you two hadn't gone beyond heavy make-out sessions.
As Joe sat next to you and started rubbing your thigh, you could feel the anticipation building for a kiss. But just as he leaned in closer, Hazel walked in through the door.
Hazel exclaimed, "Ahhh! I didn't see anything. They tell you to put a sock on the door for a reason," covering her eyes with her hands.
You rolled your eyes and Hazel playfully smirked at you.
"My class is over and I am free to go home! I just need to grab my bags and head out," Hazel said as she gathered her things. She was leaving early for Thanksgiving break.
As Hazel prepared to leave, she turned to Joe, "Good luck at the game on Saturday! I can't wait to see the team crush A&M."
She mockingly made the A&M hand sign and Joe laughed, thanking her. You were happy that they got along so well.
"Maybe you can convince her to come to a game finally," Hazel teased as she walked out the door. "Love you!" she yelled before closing the door.
Joe gave you a curious look. "I've been meaning to ask, but why haven't you come to one of my games?"
You paused for a moment, realizing that Joe had never pressured you to attend a game but always celebrated with you afterwards.
"I get nervous in large crowds and when there's too much noise," you admitted. "That's why I always watch them from home. Plus, your team seems to do well without me there. What if I go and jinx it?"
Joe chuckled and shook his head. "That wouldn't happen."
He took your hand in his, looking into your eyes earnestly. "It would mean a lot to me if you came this weekend. I'll even buy you some ear plugs and you can sit with Justin's girlfriend or Hazel. As long as you're there."
You had planned on going home for Thanksgiving, but you would be coming back on Friday so it would be possible to attend the game on Saturday. Although, finals were coming up soon and you were planning on using the weekend to study. As you were about to explain why you couldn't, Joe kissed your hand.
"Please?" he pleaded once again.
How could you resist that?
"Okay, sure. I'll come to your game."
Joe's face lit up and he leaned in for a kiss. It started off gentle but quickly grew more intense. Joe's hands roamed over your body as he pushed your sweatshirt up slightly and played with the waistband of your shorts, seeking permission to go further. A shiver ran through you as his fingertips grazed your stomach. You broke away from the kiss and nodded, feeling dizzy.
Joe wasted no time pulling down your shorts and underwear in one swift motion. You removed your sweatshirt, revealing your breasts. Joe took a moment to stare at you before you started to feel self-conscious and attempted to cover yourself up. But Joe stopped you.
"I just can't get over how beautiful you are," he murmured, his eyes taking in every part of your body. Your blush deepened. Joe pressed his lips to yours again, and you eagerly pulled him closer as you laid back down. His hand traveled down your body until it found your clit, making slow, lazy circles.
"You're going to watch me win on Saturday, right?" Joe whispered into your ear as he peppered kisses along your jawline.
You were about to answer when he suddenly picked up the pace.
"Oh God...yes," you managed to say between moans, struggling to keep focused on anything but the building sensation in your lower abdomen. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging at it slightly.
"Are you proud of me when you watch me play?" Joe asked, watching as you squirmed under his touch. He loved the effect he was having on your body.
You nodded, unable to form words as the pleasure consumed you. Joe slowed down, causing a frustrated groan to escape from your lips. You looked at him and he met your gaze as he pulled his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them before pushing them inside you. His thumb returned to your clit, and he used his other hand to gently turn your face to look at him.
"Say it, baby. Tell me how proud you are," Joe commanded, picking up the pace again and relentlessly massaging your clit. Your back arched as waves of pleasure washed over you.
"I'm so proud of you, Joe. You're amazing," you cried out. Joe smirked, satisfied with your response.
He left wet kisses down your neck, making his way towards your chest. He focused his attention on a spot above your breast while using his other hand to play with your nipple. You felt like you were going to explode from all the pleasure.
"I need you," you whimpered.
Joe stopped and quickly took off his shirt and pants. Even though he was now only in his underwear and socks, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by how beautiful he looked. You kneeled on the bed in front of him, running your hands over his chest and arms before kissing his jaw and trailing down his neck. You hooked your fingers onto the waistband of his underwear, but Joe stopped you.
"Do you really want this?" he asked, searching your eyes for an answer.
"I do," you replied with a smile.
You had slept with one person before, a long-term high school boyfriend. Since then, you hadn't found anyone else who you were interested in sleeping with.
You were about to continue taking off Joe's underwear when his phone started ringing on the nightstand beside the bed.
"Ignore it," you said.
As you went to kiss Joe, he groaned and pulled you close, his hands cupping your face. You felt his lips crush against yours with urgency, but he suddenly broke away to check his phone. A girl's name flashed on the screen before he shut it off and placed it back on the counter. Your heart started racing as you tried not to pry or show any signs of jealousy. Was this just a friend? Or could it be someone he was seeing as well? You two hadn't talked about the state of your relationship. If there was even a relationship. The uncertainty made you feel uneasy and unsure about where you stood with Joe.
You tried to push those thoughts aside as Joe kissed you again, but this time you couldn't kiss back with the same enthusiasm. He noticed your withdrawal and asked if everything was okay, if you had changed your mind. With a heavy sigh, you laid back down and covered yourself with the blanket.
"Talk to me," Joe pleaded, joining you on the bed.
Your mind was racing with questions, but you couldn't find the right words to ask him. Finally, you ask, "What are we doing?"
"I thought we were about to have sex," Joe responded.
You let out a breathy laugh, "No, Joe. I mean what are we? Where do we stand? Are we seeing other people?"
Joe didn't answer immediately, taking some time to collect his thoughts before finally answering.
"Is this because Jen called?" he asked, saying her name made your heart twist.
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close as he traced shapes on your hip with his fingers. "I'm not seeing her or anything. She lives in Ohio and we had some classes together when I was going to school there. She's a good friend, but I have no intention of being in a relationship with her."
You nodded, trying to process all of this new information.
"I'm not sure what we are," Joe continued, "but I have fun with you and I want to be around you as much as possible. I know this isn't the way I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend, so I won't, but..."
Before he could finish his sentence, his phone rang again.
"Fuck," he muttered and checked his phone seeing a call from Ja'Marr.
After a brief conversation, Joe sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I completely forgot, we have a team dinner tonight," he admitted.
You nodded understandingly, still unsure of what to say because you wanted Joe to finish his previous thought.
He got up to get dressed, apologizing for having to leave. "I really want to have finish this conversation later and I want you to be there on Saturday. And just so you know, you're the only one I want."
Your heart swelled at his words and you placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. You ran your fingers through his hair and caressed his cheek, causing him to close his eyes and let out a content sigh.
"I only want you too," you confessed.
Joe took your hand and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your palm. "I wish I could stay with you," he shared sadly.
"You should go," you said, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice, "don't want to be any later than you already are."
"If the reason I'm late has anything to do with you, it's worth it."
You roll your eyes, secretly enjoying the cute line he threw at you. Joe reached for the blanket and tried to pull it down, sneaking one more look before he left. You slapped his hand and pointed towards the door.
"Just one more look," Joe begged.
"Go!" You said, laughing. Joe walked towards the door and turned to see you one more time.
"You'll call me when you get home," Joe asked, leaning against the door.
"Yeah I'll call you," You reassured him. You blew him a kiss before he shut the door.
After Joe left for his team dinner, all you could think about was how much you cared for him and hoped that whatever this was between the two of you would work out in the end.
The TV was paused, with the "Are you still watching?" question staring at you.
You plopped your head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. You heard your phone vibrate and you reached over to pick it up.
Joe: I'll be thinking of you.
You smile to yourself and set your phone back down. You pressed "Continue Watching" on the screen and relaxed while Gilmore Girls played.
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moami · 6 months
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being German and only finding out that the original book is named twilight when you saw the movie because you read "bis(s) zum morgengrauen" and assumed there's no way they would have made a pun out of bis=until and biss=bite aka "until/bite to dusk" unless they had to AND YET!!?
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ashmp3 · 2 months
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you know when that wave of loneliness comes like i really am trying to be normal but can’t help feeling so alienated and unlovable i should’ve killed myself when i was 18 it really wouldn’t make that big of a difference but my fuckass dad had to die first
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purpurussy · 2 months
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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ᡣ𐭩 🍓。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
#unrequited feelings are so embarrassing T-T#like idk theres just smth so so shameful and pathetic abt it for me#the person whose voice who feels like a safe haven and that makes my heart feel safe and calm.. feels that with someone else's voice#the person i want to talk to everyday and talk abt our days and share pics and rambles and say gn/gm to.. is doing that with someone else#the person i think of and wanna share myself with.. does that w someone else#the person i wanna know everything abt and ask thousands of question to does that w someone else#the person i wish to talk to with my voice even if that in itself is smth anxious for me.. does that with someone else#just all ofthe feelings i have. all of the wishes i have. about them. they feel and think about another person in their life#idk it just feels so so so humiliating#to long and ache and want for a person and they feel those things mutually with someone else#and itisharder when it wasnt a 100% unrequited crush from the beginning#but in a moment in time many of those things did occur and there was a hope that more would occur#iamlike a snailand it takes longer for me to warm up and i hate that. i hate that im so slow and it takes so long bc like#why am i so scared??? why am i especially scared of things that feel good??? i WANTED all of it but i was too scared for moving quick#and then when my desire was overriding my fear ://// idk... idk ....#i just dont know how i fucked it up but i did#and now having these feelings is humiliating and painful bc they couldve been requited if i hadnt messed it all up#so now instead of feeling smth amazing for the first time in my life im once again stuck with pain#not knowing if it'll ever go away. if i can feel this way for someone else who will feel it for me as well. will i always be alone?#and when u are in love it's also *that* person. i cant just transfer these feelings onto someone else :///#ijust dont know but it all sucks sm and i think abt every fucking day every single second and i wish i didnt feel anything#i wish i didnt feel so deeply bc it hurts too bad#knowing that i couldve had all i dream of and more but i lacked too much and was too scared... fucking hate myself so much bro
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whimsical-sonic · 11 months
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i mentioned in the oc q&a that sting does contracted work for a former gun researcher by the name of taz nocturn. let's get into that!
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pictured from left to right: dr. nocturn (she/her), vi the caracal (they/them), and sting himself
to explain why sting's working for taz, i need to explain a bit of what's going on with her. long story short, taz left gun to pursue what started as a pet project. she's been experimenting with chaos energy, studying how it interacts with the organic and inorganic, all with an ulterior motive in mind. her research is completely secret. so secret, in fact, that her lab is an abandoned subway system that had been repurposed to suit her needs
vi is taz's assistant. with taz's permission, vi hired sting, having learned about him via a newspaper ad (where he was promoting his services, he was a little desperate for cash). taz and her scientists don't usually leave the subway, and vi can only travel so far...sting is the one they rely on to get them new equipment, new material, new intel. sting is also the person they contact to help them, uh, find participants for their experiments
sting does not know what it is they're testing for nor do the scientists want him to know, can't let anyone on the outside know what it is they're researching. he gets paid well enough to not question it, but he can't help but get a little curious...
in terms of interactions, almost all work-related meetings are with vi. sting has only spoken to taz...maybe about 2 times? 3? taz doesn't really leave her research. she appreciates that sting isn't one for small talk, and he appreciates that she gets right to the point
during the events of my fanstory, a certain blue hedgehog and two-tailed fox start snooping a bit too close to the lab, assuming that eggman is up to something (fair assumption). not wanting to risk discovery, vi called upon sting to go deal with them
if this interests you, please consider voting for sting! 🦂 vote for him here 🦂
if you want to learn more about him, check out his socs2 tag here!
@sonic-oc-showdown
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chronic-cynic · 2 months
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Fuck me. I moved to another province recently and unfollowed everyone on Instagram except for three friends, and now someone’s trying to message me again. Just leave me alone, damn.
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astrxealis · 5 months
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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📎
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bo0zey · 2 years
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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro
#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes#i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses#i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever#i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless#everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad#i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards#but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like#ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything#it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but#she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible#we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway#it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without#sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks#i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18#and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society#i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am#20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already#why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong#i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing#i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there#i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic#i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse#nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there#i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am#i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying#i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit#ramblings
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no-one-hears-me · 1 year
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I've spent too much time on the verge of suicide to be here today
#suicide tw#that's genuinely embarrassing#why haven't I done it yet. what am I staying here for#the truth is that I am a hopeful person deep inside and I want a decent future#I don't want to die in misery without ever knowing anything different#but the realistic part of me knows that I will never live a peaceful life#my hope is built on the fact that much of my misery stems from my environment and therefore I think that leaving will make me happy#and there is so much truth to that. I would be happier in different circumstances#but that doesn't change the lifetime of abuse and social isolation that has fundamentally damaged me as a person#I will carry the past with me wherever I go and it's impossible for me to escape#I will never be someone that was equipped to function in society and that is no fault of mine but I alone carry the burden#which really upsets me. why is my life ruined over someone else's choices? it's so easy to destroy someone#and so I know I will never truly change#I've had an ed for over 5 years I've been casually suicidal for like 10 years. also this happened during important formative years#I'm never gonna be mentally healthy. why do I keep holding on to the future#I wanna do something drastic#I wanna cut people out of my life. like past friends that are somewhat current#I'm easy to take advantage of bc I'm so lonely and desperate for a friend#and I wanna stop talking to the people that don't value me bc I know they don't care and it makes me sad all the time#but the problem is that I am desperate for a friend. and I don't wanna lose anyone even if they are shitty#unfortunately I still love them even if they don't care about me#that's so pathetic tbh but I can't help it. I love everyone#Sera
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lafseanchai · 11 months
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Coming back from fencing practice number two, feeling more confused than when I started: "it is okay to suck at first, you are learning, plus unlearning old lessons. It is okay to suck."
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xxc4rt3rxx · 1 year
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Hhhhh I just danced around my room like a freak for a solid 20 min and while it was great for my brain I am now sweaty and gross and if I shower my entire apt complex will come and murder me with knives. It was worth it has rlly been curing the horrors of 24 hours post mcr tour hysteria.
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Me looking at previous winners of the Australian Cosplay Championships: "Yeah I could make a respectable entry for next year. Dunno about winning, but at least not enough to embarrass myself."
Like surely if I get proper motorised articulated wings working I'd be a decent contender for the FX category????
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autisticlee · 1 year
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I have so many characteristics that make me feel like dating would be absolutely impossible to do and navigate, because they're such undesirable things that no one wants. i
if someone DOES want/are ok with them, there's so few of those people that they either already found someone, or they're out of my reach/we'll never meet. and that's if THEY match what I want as well, which then makes that pool even smaller.
i'm autistic. i'm asexual/aromantic. i'm trans/nonbinary. all things that make dating extraordinarily difficult to begin with.
i'm also not smart, rich, socially acceptable, or conventionally useful. i'm not physically attractive/don't match societal standards. i'm not likable to most people and can't even make or keep friends. my interests are very weird and niche, and it's hard to find people who share them.
if I can't figure out how to make and keep friends, how am I ever supposed to date? that's many levels ahead of where I am, almost end game. i'm at level 0. the tutorial level. except my tutorial glitched out before I even started and won't work. so I can't advance.
yes, I have good characteristics that people would be lucky to have (like loyalty, willingness to communicate, honesty, going out of my way to be there for people I care about, etc) but those things don't overshadow the ones above. first impressions kill me. my most noticeable traits kill me again. I can't lie or mask. no one gets to the smaller "good" traits or they simply aren't ever enough.
this is why I never tried to date and never even thought about it until now. I gave up before even starting because I knew it would be a dead end, a waste of time and energy.
i'm going to complain further under here, despite already making like 10 posts about the exact same bullshit:
"until now." so, I need someone who lives in canada to date me so I can move there from US and be with the only supportive people I have in my life lmao. my closest friends, my found family, who meet my needs, respect my boundaries, go out of their way to help me, and reciprocate everything mutually and equally. they actually want me in their lives. it's not one-sided, for the first time in my life. I don't question their motives or loyalties like every other friend I had in my life. it's genuine and real and they've stuck with me for like idk 5 years now? meeting irl (which usually ends my friendships for some reason...I guess people don't like me after meeting me outside of my internet persona?) it was solidified even more that we are the found family i've been wanting and needing my whole life. why do they have to be in a different country that has an extremely strict policy for being allowed to move there?!
so back to the dating thing a big problem is that I have too many barriers that I can't hide that make people uninterested or dislike me. I also can't control other people. people are unreliable and difficult as hell.
throw on top wanting to date someone specifically to move countries and they might question MY loyalties and think i'm only using them. when actually, I genuinely also want someone who can be part of our found family and be my life partner.
unfortunately, I know it will probably never happen, since it's not even about "trying" or "not giving up." I literally don't know how to try to find someone. like where to look?? social medias are collapsing and I get ignored everywhere. dating apps are for more hookups, polys, cheaters, and bots/catfish than real partnerships. I have no clue how to make people like me because who i am hasnt done me any favors ever in my life. waiting around for someone to come to me first just wastes my time! plus i'm picky as hell and can't accept just anyone.
people keep telling me "keep waiting you'll find The One! don't give up! I was in a similar position and i found someone!" that doesn't help me. it doesn't give me hope or whatever. I prefer actual helpful things like "I'll help you get there!" if you want to "help." I prefer to look at things realistically and live in the moment. not a future I can't see. and in this moment i'm stuck in a shitty anti-lgbt state with unsupportive and unaccepting family who don't treat me very well and no irl friends i can trust and rely on. no one can say that will for certain change in the future. things don't always magically change for the better and if you aren't prepared for that, you'll always be stuck in one place, waiting. i'm not being negative. it's more dynamic than that. it's more "I need an alternative in case this truly is a dead end." i'm simply not getting my hopes up for disappointment and fooling myself into believing that doing nothing and waiting will help, while life passes me by.
but I also can't do anything. because I don't know how/what to do
and by can't do anything I don't mean in life in general. I mean about getting out of my parents house so I can be free from them and fond a safe and comfortable place. I can't afford it alone obviously. I unfortunately need other people on my life, as much as i wish i could be a lone gremlin human and never need others. and that's the part I have no clue how to do. if the only humans who want me aren't attainable, then what? i've tried for over a decade and only had failures because people are unreliable and turn on me without warning, after i'm the only one who puts effort into trying to help us escape our situations. i'm TIRED. I can't keep trying to do everything alone and end up hurt and betrayed by fake friends. i'm so tired.
(if anyone reads this, don't try to comfort me because it won't work. if you relate, you can share that because that's fine. if you want to help me by being a candian who can sponsor me to move there then that's even more acceptable 🤣 if you find you cant stand me after im permanently there, i'll appreciate your help and let you go lmao)
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