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secretwritingspot · 5 months

Text

Too Much (Take Me Home)

Pairing: OPLA Sanji x Reader

Rating/Content Warnings: okay so I have no idea how to rate this. Like this is definitely not PG but it's also not really nsfw?? Honestly I'd recommend just reading the summary and deciding for yourself from there.

Summary: Reader is a sub who, due to the nature of y'know like being on a pirate ship constantly has not had a single chance to relax in weeks, especially since they don't really know any of their crewmates like that. Sanji steps in to save the day.

Disclaimer(s): so funny story - this is the single kinkiest thing I've written for this blog. And yet. It is also the least sexual thing I've written for this blog, that being not sexual at all. This is purely mentally-ill wish fulfillment emotional hurt-comfort d/s fluff. None of those words are in the bible but we persist nonetheless. A lot of d/s themes but like soft d/s if that makes sense, undernegotiated kink (there's definitely communication and it's p healthy but they're both idiots your honor), some petplay if you squint? Like not really but reader is on their knees and he calls them puppy a few times so do with that what you will.

There's a surprising amount of paperwork that comes with being the ship's chef.

One would think Sanji was always on his feet, whipping up something new- and yet here he is, late at night, sitting at a table that feels nautical miles away from where he really wants to be, the galley. But this was a part of the job- to catalogue ingredients, new recipes, what he could make and on what day for their supplies to last until the next town.

He's used to it being a solitary job, but then there's footsteps and a knock at the doorframe of his room and you walk in, shy uncertainty in your voice.

"...Sanji?"

You weren't sure about this, about any of this. But you were exhausted in a way that sleep couldn't fix, and it was obvious to you as to why.

You were a sub. There, you admitted it, got that embarrassing information out of the way as quickly as possible.

You - strong, strategic, stoic you - had been spinning out for the last few days. It had been too long since you'd been able to go under, since you'd joined the strawhats, to be precise, and it was starting to wear on you.

There was only so long you could go like this, tough and detached, protecting everyone else, taking care of the rest of your crew before yourself. It was constant, on the Merry. You really should've seen that coming with it being a pirate ship and all, but you felt like you had no room to breathe. Wake up, save the day, plan, eat and sleep only to keep your energy up to do it again the next day. You were always on, always performing the most capable version of yourself, and it was starting to wear you thin.

Sanji, for all his care and attention, hadn't seemed to notice. Even now, when you'd come to him like this. For that, a part of you was thankful.

He can't even hope to hide the way his face lights up when you walk in, quickly grabbing a towel next to him and wiping off his hands on instinct, like there should be oil or cooking wine or flour on them. There isn't, but other times there is. And there will be again, eventually. Better safe than sorry, he supposes.

"What could possibly bring such an angel down to me so late?"

He questions with a charming smile, cocking his head at you fondly. You roll your eyes at his immediate antics, blushing.

"Ah. Straight to business, huh?"

You laugh nervously, looking away and scratching the back of your neck with a sheepish blush.

"...can I stay with you? While you work?"

He squints at you curiously and then nods, smile blooming on his face the way it always does when you're around. For such a simple request, he doesn't know why you look so embarrassed.

Sure, the signs of embarrassment aren't as obvious on someone like you- but he can still see them. The way your eyes avoid his, the slight awkwardness in your stance as you shift on your feet.

"Of course, love. I'd never turn down your wonderful company."

You take a relieved breath and nod, looking down. For a moment you stand still, trying to make your feet move. Is this really such a good idea?

You take the leap before you can second guess yourself, walking over to where he sits at the desk. You pass the other seats and he squints curiously, having expected you to take one. Instead, you come straight to his, sinking down to your knees next to him and sitting back on your heels, resting your head on the side of his thigh.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

His eyes widen when you settle on the floor next to him, his face a pink hue as he looks down at you. Still, he didn't move. Instead, he gently brushes some of your hair back, looking at you with confusion.

"Are you...what are you doing, love?"

You swallow thickly, blinking your eyes back open to look up at him pleadingly, face pink.

"...can I stay here? I- I'll explain if you want, I promise, just...please."

He chuckles, an intrigued little smile gracing his features as he looks down at you nods. "Go ahead, explain. You can stay here as long as you'd like, darling."

"I need..."

You start to speak before backing up your explanation, embarrassment showing in the way your speech jumps back and forth between thoughts.

"I've been exhausted, recently. I'm sleeping fine, I just...sometimes I need to- to relax a certain, uh- a certain way. And since we've been on the ship, I haven't been able to, uh..."

You squeeze your eyes shut with embarrassment, taking a deep breath and turning to press your face against his thigh to hide your blush.

"...subspace. I'm- I'm a sub. And I haven't been able to go into subspace for a while, and I know this is a lot to ask you and I'm sorry, I just- I need to be like this for a while, please."

Immediately, your behavior starts to make sense. It would be hard to be a sub on a crew like this, constantly having to fight and stay in control. You likely haven't had the chance to submit to anyone in ages, if only for safety reasons. After all, you're all wanted. But with the natural way you dropped to your knees below him, put your head on his thigh like second nature, it all clicks.

He looks at you for a moment and blinks, his expression unreadable.

"...I think I understand what you mean. You want to be good for me, yes? I don't mind that, you know. You're quite pretty like this." He gently drags the back of his hand across your face with a smile before adding, almost as an afterthought, "Sweet thing."

You shiver at his words and nod in confirmation, letting your head fall back to the side to rest against his thigh.

This is...it's the last thing he'd expect from you, really. You're so tough and capable and independent, so the fact that you're a sub? The more he thinks about it the more it makes him blush- that someone like you was even capable of submitting, let alone craved it, let alone again would come to him, pleading for him to let you kneel at his feet for a while as he works. He gently runs a hand along your back, the corner of his mouth twitching as he smirks.

"I want you to stay like this until you're satisfied, alright darling?" He smiles and takes a look back at the paperwork on the table "...Are you comfortable there?"

You nod, heart fluttering when he says he wants you to stay like this until you feel better. It's sweet and gentle and so very Sanji, but at the same time, it sounds almost like an instruction. Like a command. It makes your cheeks flush and your mind stop whirring for a second in a way you'd missed so badly from when friends or partners who knew about your submissiveness back on land would put you under. The comfort of not having to think of anything besides doing what you're told- being good, always being good. You'd missed this.

"I need you to relax for me, okay? Just...focus on enjoying yourself, yeah? I have to get this work done, so I'm counting on you to stay right here. Can you do that for me?"

You nod almost immediately and he grins at the obedience, going back to his work with a satisfaction mirrored in you.

Something to do. A task. Something to be good at, good enough to make him proud. It settles your mind as you lean your head against him, the slight twinge of pain from kneeling on the wooden floor grounding you pleasantly.

He could get used to this, he thinks- you sitting at his feet next to him like a puppy, one of his hands scratching through your hair absentmindedly as he works through his paperwork and supply numbers. He watches you out of the corner of his eye as he works, the sound of parchment paper a pleasant constant. Your breathing was also rather soothing, a nice background to his quiet humming as he writes. He feels as though he could listen to it all night and never grow tired of it.

He makes a mental note of how each different touch effects you- cataloging your reactions, what you like, what seems to make your mind dissolve. He finds a particular sweet spot behind your ears that leaves you a shivering puddle when he scratches softly with his nails, a spot at the crown of your head that makes you purr, that any light touch closer to your neck provokes a wobbly, ticklish smile but that you don't make any move to stop him. You seem completely zoned out, dazed and pliant and warm under his fingers.

A minute passes like that, then five, then ten. He looks back down to check on you and feels his heart stall in his chest.

"Oh, darling..." He whispers softly, blushing at the sight of you. Hazy and dazed with near-reverence in your eyes. He stops writing, setting down the pen and reaching down to lift your chin up, looking you directly in the eyes.

"Look at me. Please."

You perch your chin on his thigh obediently to look up at him from your position on the floor. It's the most relaxed he's ever seen you- shoulders dropped like a tremendous weight's been lifted from you, limbs like lead as doe eyes blink up at him blearily, expression glazed-over and vulnerable and soft, softer than he thought you were capable of.

You were a tremendous warrior, someone feared across the seas, and yet your head was on his thigh, sitting at his feet below him.

You, who could kill him in a fraction of a second if you wanted.

He sighs, a little breathless. He's so tempted to lean down and kiss you, but he shakes his head slowly. Not now, not yet. There's something else he needs to do first.

His hand runs through your hair as he looks into your eyes almost like a nurse would with a concussed patient, checking up on you to make sure you're okay.

"Can you speak? It doesn't have to be a lot, just...say something for me, love."

"C'n speak."

You answer softly, obedient nearly to a fault, your usually confident voice gone soft and mumbly. It's perfect. Christ, all of it is perfect.

"'verything's just kinda...fuzzy right now. 's okay, it's nice."

His eyes are glued to you as his hand gently runs through your hair, scratching behind your ear. There's something on his mind, something he can't quite place or figure out yet.

"You look so beautiful right now." He admits gently, his voice still a low whisper. "Can you tell me why- why you're like this?"

Well, wasn't that a hell of a question? Why are you - always that emphasis in your head, though he doesn't mean it like that - of all people, why are you?

A few moments pass before you say anything. You don't really know what you would say, not until it's already coming out of your mouth.

"...cause 'm not allowed to be."

It's the only answer you can think of when you can finally convince yourself to speak.

"I- I have to know everything. All the time. Be in charge and make the tough decisions and stay on top of everything and make sure everyone's okay-"

The words come slowly at first, but the longer you speak the quicker they spill out, rambling like it's something that's been festering for weeks that you desperately need to get off your chest.

You cut yourself off with a deep breath when you realize the breakneck speed with which you're ranting, simplifying your answer down to it's most basic terms.

"...I don't get to be weak."

He can't help but feel his breath catch at that reply. "I don't get to", like it's something you want but aren't allowed. He can so easily see that side of you now that you mentioned it, but he'd always just ignored it. It seemed inconsequential. Like that part just...wasn't you.

It strikes him then that that was probably on purpose, on your part. You wanted them to disregard it.

But the more he thinks about it, the more he recontectualizes all your stress, all the moments of you snapping at the crew over little slights, the more curious he gets as to how and why you got to be like this in the first place.

"There isn't anything weak about this." he pushes back sternly as soon as he can get his voice to work. "This is...this is the most courageous thing I could imagine. I'm so proud of you."

The words hit you like a brick and you close your eyes, taking a shaky breath as they play on repeat in your head.

"I'm so proud of you."

You can feel yourself crumbling at his affection, the voracity of his care. How adamant he is about understanding that sometimes you just needed to be below someone else.

He cups your cheek in his hand softly, angling your face to look up at him. The more you let your guard down, the warmer his chest feels looking at you. He'd never seen you open up this much, it makes his heart ache. He smiles at the sight of you looking up at him so prettily, lightly tapping the tip of your nose.

"...there you are."

The words are barely a whisper, full of pride and admiration and pleasant disbelief. It's a shame how much you try to prove your strength, your resilience when there isn't a reason for it.

You'd always been enough for him. Always been strong enough, tough enough, useful enough. Always, always, always.

You'd never needed to be anything more than who you were, and getting to see you like this...it's like he's seeing you for the first time all over again.

"It's an honor to finally meet you."

All you can manage is a soft huff of breath, his words knocking the breath from your lungs. It's almost a sob, except that there are no tears. You have no idea why. Or why you almost sobbed in the first place. Why are there no tears?

"It's an honor to finally meet you."

The words cut through you like water. He still wants you? Even like this- emotionally stunted, a needy mess, pathetic and fragile and shaking?

"The way you are right now is nothing short of beautiful. Everything about you is lovely. It's...it isn't easy letting go like this, is it?" He muses, a hand resting on your hair, his thumb running along your face.

You sniffle quietly and blink back tears, nodding your head. It's progress even getting you to agree.

He knows you aren't upset by his words and so your unshed tears don't bother him. Knows that you aren't used to this, aren't going to be good at believing or accepting it immediately. He knows it'll take time to get to a place where words like that don't phase you anymore. So for now, your agreement is more than enough.

"...can we stay here for a while? Please?"

You break through his train of thought with a cautious whisper, voice small. A surge of pride shoots through him at your words, so fucking proud. If agreeing with his words is difficult, asking for what you want is worse. It's a hell of a first step.

"Of course we can. How long do you want to be like this, sweetheart?"

Ah. And there's the problem, isn't it? The "what do you want?" Really and truly, you have no idea.

"I don't mind much, it's..."

You trail off softly, hiding your face against his thigh in embarrassment as your blush spreads to the tips of your ears.

"...'s however long you want me to stay. It...it helps, letting you decide things for me."

The admission is a shy one, but it's not like it's something he couldn't've seen coming. It makes sense that instructions and praise would go hand in hand to make someone like you feel safe, small, protected.

"...I don't want you to move, okay?" He finally decides, lifting his hand from your hair to brush it behind your ear, fingernails scratching gently.

"Just let me take care of you for a while."

You take a deep breath at his words like the air's cleared for the first time in decades, finally having something to ground yourself on.

He makes a note of that in his head, too- you like a sense of order, when he makes decisions for you or gives you instructions to follow. Something simple that you can focus on even in your dazed, vulnerable state of mind, a task you can accomplish.

His hand continues to run through your hair gently, thumb making little figure 8's at the crown of your head.

"Do you want me to hold you? Or do you prefer being on your knees?"

He doesn't look at you when he asks, pen scratching away at his charts with his eyes on the table. Somehow, that helps- the idea that he's still working, that you're not too inconvenient of a distraction.

The simple choice you're given between two options makes everything feel easy and calm and hazy, and your voice is quiet when you answer.

"On- on my knees. Makes me feel more- more..."

You trail off, trying to explain but unable to find the words.

"More vulnerable." He finishes for you, smiling as it finally clicks. A position of submission, giving up your power to him.

Undoubtably, you're more vulnerable on your knees. You'd typically never let anyone near you in this state, not since you joined the strawhats, but with him, it feels...safe.

"I like it too." He admits, his hand still on you as his voice slowly trails off.

Your features smooth out in relief at his understanding and you nod, leaning into him and nuzzling his thigh for a moment to show your appreciation.

He has to look away for a moment, as seeing you nuzzle against him triggers an almost visceral reaction he wasn't expecting. His face flushes a bit more, a small smile brightening face as he leans in his chair, his expression adoring as he looks down at you. He reaches out for your ear, scratching gently at it with his fingernail.

You're so soft like this he swears he might fall in love.

"...can we do this more often, when you want to relax?"

Your eyes widen with a surprised blush at all the question as your brain shorts out for a moment.

He really...he's really willing to make this a regular thing? He isn't just doing this to humor you? It seems almost impossible to believe that this isn't some kind of weird burden you'd pushed onto him.

"...yeah. I'd- 'd like that."

You mumble breathlessly, clearing your throat as you look down.

He's already looking for another command, a simple task he can praise you for. Something about telling you what to do - you, who could slit his throat in an instant - he's quickly figuring out that he likes it. Quite a bit, actually.

He thinks back to the little things he's noticed about you- you prefer standing with your back to walls, facing the exit of whatever room you're in. You can only fall asleep when someone else on the crew is still awake. You're always chewing toothpicks, sucking on the end of your pen-

Wait.

Do you have an- could he- maybe...?

He hums in thought, grin spreading wider as he looks down at you once more. Gently, he lifts your chin so you're looking directly at him.

"Open your mouth," He instructs softly, almost in a whisper. Curious.

A soft blush blossoms across your ears but other than that you don't question it, far enough into subspace that all that matters is following instructions, being good. You don't even think before parting your lips obediently, looking up at him with those pretty doe eyes. Like he hung the moon and the stars in the sky.

Bingo.

It was an oral fixation, your constant need to suck on a toothpick or the end of your pen. He couldn't fully understand, but he could relate- he always felt safer with a cigarette in his mouth.

He gently pushes his thumb in your mouth, taking a deep breath as he waits for your reaction to the audacious move. You wanted him to make you feel small, safe, vulnerable. He's more than happy to do that for you.

At your service, now and always.

Your blush spreads out to your cheeks and your eyes widen a fraction in surprise, but as soon as you manage to process that he really just did that, you close your lips gently around his thumb, eyes glazing over as you look up at him for approval.

You're so beautiful when you're like this, all raw and vulnerable and desperate to be good. He hums, eyes glued to you with a loving gaze as he takes in just how stunning you are in this moment.

"Submission suits you." He praises softly, his voice almost a whisper. "You're so...so sweet like this. So lovely when you don't think so much, puppy."

The last word is meant jokingly, gently poking fun at the way you're kneeling next to him, head on his thigh. Your reaction, though...that throws him. The way you squeeze your eyes closed and your blush darkens to a pure pink when he calls you "puppy", the way he can feel you whine around his thumb at the term as you melt, shoulders slumping- and that's certainly interesting, isn't it?

"Aww, puppy likes that, doesn't she?"

He can't help but smile as he takes his thumb out of your mouth for a moment before pushing two fingers in instead. Your cheeks flush when he does so, those puppy dog eyes glancing back at him with so much emotion it's almost overwhelming. The name is fitting, he supposes.

You flush further with embarrassment, though you know it makes no logical sense. Your mind doesn't seem to want to quiet itself, echoing judgements of your current position- weak, needy, pathetic. The shy feeling of poorly restrained shame claws up your chest even as you try to dismiss it. You shouldn't feel so embarrassed by this- Sanji clearly isn't bothered by it, doesn't think it's odd, hell, if anything he seems like he's enjoying himself. Yet you, brain all tied up in knots, can't seem to look at him.

So instead you try to focus on other things, like the comforting contrast of the warmth from his fingers and the cool metal of his ring pressing down softly on your tongue.

He can sense the embarrassment from you, though he can't understand it. He'd seen you at your worst, and this certainly wasn't it.

"...there's nothing wrong with allowing someone to take care of you, you know. I actually quite like seeing you like this." He says, the words falling out of his mouth before he even thinks.

Almost as if they'd been waiting to come out this whole time.

His reassurance only makes your blush intensify, but this time it's not bad.

It isn't shame, not really. It's more pleasantly flustering. If embarrassment were a spectrum, this...feeling would fall on the 'good' end of it.

Sensing it's a vulnerable topic, he lets the reassurance hang, not giving you enough time to think about it before changing the subject with a fond, knowing chuckle.

"You like the ring, don't you?"

He doesn't say, 'it gives you something to focus on so your mind doesn't wander too far' or 'the temperature brings you back down and grounds you here away from those nasty thoughts', but you both know that's what it is.

There's something warm in the way he so nonchalantly reveals that he's been cataloging every little detail of your reactions- the spot behind your ears, the fact you like being called 'puppy', and now the fact that you like the feeling of his ring pressing down on your tongue. Your mind is in enough of a submissive haze that you can't bring yourself to lie to him, instead nodding your head in agreement.

A small, fond smile graces his lips as his thumb moves up to your lower lip, gently prodding at your chin to bring your attention back to him.

"You can take breaks if you want. I know the ring's cold."

His voice is a warm, intimate whisper, eyes watching every movement you make, every twitch and hum catalogued in his mind.

The care in it makes your heart feel warm and you keep his fingers where they are, nipping lightly at him for a moment as if to let him know without words that you're enjoying this, that you don't need a break. It's so fucking cute his heart melts.

He can't help himself any more, pulling his fingers from your mouth. You nearly whine at the loss but then - then, oh, then - he presses a small, soft kiss to your lips and the whole world falls apart, his lips pressed tenderly to you as if you're something so much more than the sum of your parts. Your mind works on overdrive- it's such pure affection and approval and he kissed you, so that means you must've been good, right? That he was proud?

Little do you know, he's just as in awe as you are. In awe that you're really here with him, like this. That you'd ever let him do this. Everything about you is special to him, special because it's yours. Just like your eyes, the sound of your voice, the heart beating erratically in your chest. Before he can think about it he's pulling his ring off his finger, wiping the remains of your spit from it, and sliding it gently on your ring finger.

You cock your head up at him and squint in confusion and he smiles, voice soft like he's afraid anything stronger than a whisper would break the moment he's worked so hard for.

"Keep it, puppy. Then, next time you...need my help like this, you can give it back to me. Yeah?"

He punctuates his words by lifting your hand up like it's precious, placing a feather-light kiss to your knuckles.

The promise sparks a warmth in your chest, the casual mention of "next time" like there's no doubt at all in his mind that there will be a next time, the way he touches you like you're fragile, stares at you with pink cheeks and blown eyes like you're the sun and the moon and all the pinpoints in the night sky.

You should've jumped overboard when you had the chance, you think, because you've ended up drowning either way.

Eventually you can convince your muscles to work enough to nod, face blooming in fireworks of pink and orange and red as your words come back to you, though your voice is still small and hazy and breathless.

"...yeah, okay. Next time."

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littlejuicebox · 3 months

Note

Hello Gina! Been loving your stories a lot specially Astarion talks in his sleep and My Sun, My Moon 1&2! which is why I wanna try if you can do a one shot of their 1st anniversary of marriage! 🤭 just wondering how it was for them, usually they say the 1st year is the toughest one but i wanna see how you see it 🤭 Many thanks!! i look forward to more stories!

Hello, my friend! <3

I really love this prompt! Marriage is hard and Astarion has his quirks that would def make him frustrating to Tav! Love isn't always sunshine and rainbows.

I took this in a slightly different direction, it's a reflection on their first major argument! Hope you like it. <3

Warnings/Tags: not edited or beta read / In-game spoilers, fluff/angst w comfort / married people having an argument / this follows my HC fics for redemption Astarion x Tav but I'm pretty sure it can be read as a OneShot

Word Count: 1.7K

-----

Astarion cannot concentrate on the blasted contract in front of him any longer. The delivery should have been here by now.

He only had a few hours before you returned from the Upper City and his entire plan for your first anniversary would be shot if the florists didn’t hurry the hells up.

“You said they would arrive by midday and now it’s nearly teatime, Pascal!” Astarion snaps at his steward, a middle-aged human with wide set eyes and a scar running horizontally along his nose bridge.

Pascal sits on the far end of Astarion’s office, reviewing a ledger. He slowly raises his eyes from the document to meet the petulant visage of his employer.

“That is what the florist told me, my Lord. But it is quite a large order. Fifty night-blooming plants and shrubs would likely take several carts, sir. It’s certainly possible they’ve run into delays along the way.” Pascal responds, his voice gentle but unbothered, as if he’s grown used to placating the moods of the vampire over the past year.

Astarion simply huffs in response, “We did not pay a premium for those ingrates to simply—“

He stops as his highly acute hearing catches the sound of wheels turning along the manor’s pebbled drive. By the raucous sound of it, there are several wagons making their way towards the home's entrance.

“Pascal, they're here. I will go greet them; round up the other servants and have them stop what they’re doing immediately. We will need all hands to make up for lost time.” Astarion says as he tosses the contract he’d been reviewing, leaving it with a large stack of papers scattered across his desk.

Several of those papers had the remnants of ink splotches and blood splatters from an hours-long drafting session he’d done on a business proposal the day prior. The goblet he'd been drinking from yesterday, dirtied with now-dried blood, sits haphazardly in the corner of the desk.

Astarion struggled to contain his natural propensity toward sloppiness. His mind often worked far too quickly for him to slow down and pay attention to trivial things like bloodstains and spilled ink.

However, after multiple gentle chastisements and one angry explosion from you, he’d managed to curb his disorganization to his office, which you accepted. The argument you two had, prior to coming to this arrangement, had truly terrified him.

The pale elf makes sure to grab the goblet and place it out in the foyer for the maid to grab; she had never been allowed to enter the master bedchambers or his office, for privacy. You two were responsible for keeping those areas tidy. Astarion did... almost nothing to his office, while you kept everything pristine in the bedroom.

Except for that one time before the argument. His mind wanders as he exits the office, reflecting on the memory that keeps him cleaning up his goblets.

-----

He could tell by your voice alone that you were angry. Furious, in fact. The sound ripped him away from the contractor agreement he'd been reviewing.

“Astarion! How many times do I have to ask you to not leave cups of blood in the bedchambers!” Your voice came booming down the hallway before you burst into the office, causing the door to slam into the wall with a loud thud. His eyes caught sight of the angry red splotches on your face, and then trailed down to your wedding dress, clutched in your shaking hand.

There was a large, crimson bloodstain smattered along the train. He almost fainted at the sight.

So many hours of his own work. Drenched in blood.

“I’d laid this out for the servants to frame today, and Scratch ran into the bedroom and knocked the goblet of blood — that you left there, completely full, by the way — off your nightstand and onto the dress!” You were waving the grown vehemently as you spoke, voice cracking toward the end.

Oh, his little love was infuriated. His gut sank at the thought.

The anger in your voice sounded entirely foreign, it was rare for you to speak in such a manner to anyone. But towards him? Never. You always spoke to him in soft, adoring tones and little whispers. The only time you truly raised your voice had been in bed, and he rather liked it then.

But this? He did not like this one bit. It made his undead heart thrum with anxiety.

“My love, I—“ He begins, his voice honeyed and smooth in the usual tone he used to appease you, but you cut him off.

“I’m sick of your excuses and your words, Astarion! I’m sick of cleaning up after you! I have asked you more than once to not bring blood into the bedroom and you've deliberately ignored me. And the one time I don’t remove the damned goblet from the bedchamber look what happened! I can’t keep—“

You were crying by then. Large, angry tears rolling in streams down your face as you swiped angrily at your eyes. That dress, and the hours of work he'd put into it, had been a testimony of his love to you. His actions had made your heart soar; seeing the gown ruined caused your heart to break entirely.

And Astarion's heart almost broke at the sight of his little love so distraught, but he had no words nor actions to soothe you.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath; he watched as the patches of red faded from your cheeks. When you opened them, the sight scared him and when you spoke, he was terrified.

Your face was blank, unreadable. Your tone was resigned. In that moment, in the absence of any discernible emotion, he felt certain you were going to leave him.

Eight months into a marriage and he was already failing; he knew he hadn't been cut out for this.

“I am very patient with you, Astarion. We both knew this wouldn’t be easy… with well, everything. Your condition, navigating my newfound fame, easing back into normalcy when we both have our baggage... but I chose this. I chose you. I choose you every day. Over and over. A hundred times a day."

You paused, and your eyes flicked between his, searching for something.

“I just wish I felt like you were still choosing me, too.”

And then you were gone. You left the dress crumpled on the floor as you turned and walked away.

As he moved from his desk to pick the garment up from the ground, he heard you call for Scratch and exit the front door. The sun was out, he couldn't follow you. And even if he did, there would be nothing he could say to placate you. He needed to give you time and space and wait for you to come to him; it was something he’d learned over the past eight months. Although he hated it.

So, he stayed in his office, trying to work, and failing at that, too.

After a few more hours, it was time to head to bed. When he entered your shared bedroom, he realized the goblet you'd spoken about had splattered over the sheets and onto the carpet, as well. He removed the goblet from the bedroom and placed it in the foyer; and then he changed the sheets, which you usually did. He waited for you to come to bed, but you never showed. Hadn’t he given you enough time by now?

Eventually he traveled to the guest chambers, certain you must be there sulking, and when he attempted to enter the room, the door was locked. He knocked tentatively on the door.

"Tav, darling--"

"No. And don't you dare pick the lock, Astarion."

"Tav, my sweet, please--"

"Please, Astarion. Please just leave me alone."

He wanted to pick the lock. Wanted to break down the door. Wanted to hold you in his arms and whisper apologies in your ear until you forgave him. But you always told him that his actions spoke louder than his words; honeyed lamentations would not work on you. Another thing he’d learned this past eight months.

And then he thought of the dress, which he'd left draped across the sofa in his office.

While you slept, Astarion set to work. He could have outsourced the task, sure... but truthfully, he did not trust anyone else with the fine detailing work he had spent several hours doing with his own hands. He'd created the masterpiece himself, after all, so perhaps it was best he restores it himself.

He worked gently, and for several hours, scrubbing the blood out of the fine fabric. His time with Cazador had taught him many things, and unfortunately a skill he used more often than he liked happened to be removing bloodstains from nearly any fabric.

By the time the gown was restored, his hands were raw from hours immersed in the harsh combination of soaps, chemicals, and water. It was past noon when he finished; you had certainly risen by now, but you hadn't come looking for him.

Astarion asked Pascal to place the gown in the sunroom to dry and then resigned himself to his office, back to reviewing contracts.

It was several hours later when you knocked on the office door, eyes downcast and face remorseful.

He didn't say anything, he just simply opened his arms and you crossed into the office before folding yourself in his lap. A few moments of quiet passed between you.

"I saw what you did to the dress. It must have taken hours... thank you." You finally whispered as your face nestled into the side of his neck. Your hot breath tickled, and he hummed in acknowledgement.

"It did, darling. And the skin on my hands certainly is not happy about it," He starts, and your hand comes to his as you bring it closer to your face, examining the uncharacteristically cracked knuckles and reddened flesh, "But you are worth the effort. And more. I'm sorry about the cups, my love.”

You placed a kiss on his chapped knuckle. An acceptance of the apology. And then you turned to face him and pressed a soft, tentative peck on his lips that made his entire body melt into you. Before long you two wound up on the floor of his office, and he made sure to use his actions to ensure you knew just how much he cared about you. How much he chose you.

And every day since then, he'd been certain to no longer bring goblets in the bedroom, and always leave them sitting in the foyer for the maid regardless of what room he was in. A tiny daily action signifying his love for you.

#astarion fanfic #astarion x tav #baulders gate astarion #baulders gate 3 #astarion fic #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic idea #baulders gate tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion x f!tav #astarion x f!reader #astarion x female reader #astarion reader insert #astarion x female tav

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noisycroissant · 6 months

Text

"It's you..."

Astarion x Reader

She was one of those marks that broke his chipped heart. The trusting ones, the doe-eyed ones who looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. It hurt every minute he spent with her knowing that he was simply leading her to a fate worse than death.

He remembered the look in her eyes when they took her away with the others at the party where they lured all their marks to once a month. He dreamed of that look for years only to wake up to find himself shaking, face wet with tears. He didn't want to keep doing this, but another year of being confined and tortured and starved with no hopes of escape, freedom or otherwise...no, he couldn't survive that. Not again.

But then, he saw her again. He was sure it was his fragile mind playing tricks on him. Constant torture can do that you, y'know. But then he saw her again. The same hair. Skin paler though. And then he heard her voice.

"Astarion?"

When he heard his name in that voice again, his heart dropped to the pits of his stomach. He'd do anything, beg at her feet, grovel for forgiveness, anything to not hear that tone in her voice.

"I am angry for what you did to me. To my life. But I also understand why... I've had to do it myself."

I've had to do it myself.

If he ever had thoughts of murdering Cazador in the darkest ways possible, those thoughts just became a million times darker.

"Where you here all these years? I never saw you. I thought I knew every turned spawn in the palace."

"I was locked up for "lack of respect" and "till I learnt what was good for me "."

He knew what that meant. Lashes, pliers, blood, pain, hunger, tears.

Desperate prayers falling on deaf ears.

"I'm.. I don't deserve to say sorry. You'd have been... anywhere but here..if it weren't for me."

"I know. But you did what you did to survive. I don't begrudge you for that. I had enough time in that cell to know that choice does not live in these walls."

*******

And that's how it began. That was how hope came back into two people's lives. How it grew and bloomed with each passing look, each time fingers brushed while walking across hallways, each time a secret letter was found under a pillow.

After 150 years, Astarion dared to dream.

He would always curse himself when he remembered that night. It had taken them almost a year to plan, another year to talk courage into themselves to go through with it.

He remembered how soft her hands were when he held them as they ran through shadows.

Freedom. It was so close. Just a breath away.

And in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

Of course. What had he been thinking? They'd never be free. Not as long as that monster had a leash on them.

"Don't let them see each other, Godey. But make sure they hear."

Astarion remembers the day his heart finally crumbled to ash.

*******

Decades later, when he was finally let out again, the very first night he goes to the highest roof he could find in Baldur's Gate. And he sat there. Waiting for the sun. The only way he could be free of this hellish life. The only way he could forget the sins.

His skin prickled and he cried as the sky turned pink.

The next thing he remembers is waking up on a beach with a unholy squirming in his eye. A crashed ship, fire and smoke bellowing. Intellect devourers running amok. But he was out in the sun and it didn't burn. It didn't hurt.

The confusion was enough to drive him mad. 200 years of rage and pain, and he finally had a chance to end it. But even that was taken from him.

He heard footsteps and chatter. Hand goes to his dagger naturally. But then he hears a voice.

Her voice.

This must be the tenth circle of hell, he tells himself. This is where depraved sinners like him go to. Where they're tortured for eternity with the things they'll never see again.

Like the sun.

Or her.

But hope survives in the darkest of hells.

And it had found him again.

"Astarion?"

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primojade · 1 year

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

“ may the day where we discard all lies for good come soon. ”

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 | romantic tropes that I think would fit them just right.

𝐂𝐖 / 𝐓𝐖 | gn!reader x albedo, wanderer, cyno and tighnari (separate); fluff, mild angst, pining, cursingcursing, kind of cheesy lmao; no proofread; let me know if I missed anything!

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 | This is a very self indulgent fic that I thought of while writing the next chapter of fallacies of love. And yes, I finished this first before that one 🤣 btw, this may or may not have part 2 but for different characters ueue. If I find the motivation to write a continuation, that is xD

masterlist |

second chances to love

Two old friends meet again wearin' older faces. And talk about the places they've been. Two old sweethearts who fell apart somewhere long ago. How are they to know, someday they'd meet again. And have a need for more than reminiscin'.

Can two people finally find their shared happiness the second time around? Is there really a way to fully mend a heart broken by the past? Are second chances really the answer to the heartache that one carried in the present times?

Your relationship with Albedo unfortunately did not work out as you want it to, and as he put it with the Traveller, once a relationship starts to drift away, it will become bothersome.

But can you really be blamed for why you fell for him? Albedo is a charming man, intelligent to a fault, a gentleman at heart, and your greatest source of inspiration. That's why when he started to show signs of interest in you unlike any other, you wholly welcomed it, cherished it in your heart even. The more time you spend with him, he shows you the other side of himself that he refuses to show to anyone else. The sliver of attention and dare say, love, that he shows you was enough to make your heart race.

But alas, love alone was not enough, and you both know it—his mere attention is not enough to call…whatever this is…as "love". For only when your heart began to feel weary of his constant busy schedule that you realised that some love was not meant to hold onto. Love that could become your sweetest poison to indulge, love that will surely drift no matter how hard you hold on. And there is that kind of love that cannot be yours no matter how besotted you are.

You were tired waiting for him to decide, to pull you close to him, but when he deemed you too close, he would shoved you away. You got tired waiting for his decision to make, and in the end, it was not you. So, you did what you knew was best for the both of you. To end everything before it becomes to the point of no return.

Still, the heart is a very fickle and turbulent thing, artificial as it may, and just as love could bring you to the highest summits of happiness, Albedo found out that it could also bring you to the lowest depths of despair. For only when you were gone to his life that he realised that the love he took for granted was the one who gave him the true meaning of this world.

Shaking to the very core of his being was the ache that no alchemy nor chemical experiments could soothe, Albedo tries his best to move on, to pretend that everything is alright, pretending that all things will go back to the way it was once, but…

Maybe this time, it'll be lovin' they'll find. Maybe now they can be more than just friends. They're back in his life, and it feels so right. Maybe this time, love won't end.

But alas, time doesn't help when moving on, it does not help him heal, it only teaches him to live with the pain. Settling himself to be your friend does not cool down his flame, and when Albedo sees you smiling at him again, laughing and waiting for him, that flame burns even brighter than ever before. And this time, if he tried his best again…maybe this time, this promised love will never end.

“Maybe…maybe this time? Are you…willing to try again?" He asked, hope blooming and his artificial heart beating so fast in his chest it might as well jump to your hands and never leave again. This time…he will make sure to do everything right, and give you everything he had, this time.

“Because the only way to love someone unconditionally is to realise that it may be lost.”

friends to lovers

Do you remember when I said I'd always be there? Ever since we were ten, baby. When we were out on the playground playing pretend. Didn't know it back then.

“[Name], let's make haste. The weather today is too perfect for our weekly surveillance, and I do not trust you to not wander in the forest and accidentally poison yourself. So, you are coming with me.”

You immediately noticed the peculiar twinkle in his bicoloured eyes, the lightest tint of pink on his cheeks, the twitch of his ears and the slight wag of his tail. All of his mannerisms are so familiar to the point that you could hear the barely concealed excitement in his usually stern tone.

Perhaps it's because you have known him since you were both still in diapers? Tighnari has always been someone passionate at what he does, talented and smart and reliable, he was always there to help you even before you asked of him, hell, sometimes, even before you knew you yourself needed some help. He was that perceptive when it comes to you.

Even during the times he was busy with his research papers in the Akademiya, Tighnari would not hesitate to discard whatever he was doing in favour of knowing what was happening to you. He was even fussier than a mother, and would scold you harder than a father would. But as much as his lectures become weary at times, you know that it all comes with good sentiment for your well being, and for his love for you.

Love…for being his very first friend, you supposed. The very first person who saw him through all his hardships, his achievements, seeing him at his lowest and highest. It was supposed to make you feel happy and proud that he still chose you even though it felt like he became someone so…unreachable now. Capable, reliable and an akademiya scholar. And nowadays, the word 'friend' has merely brought bittersweet feelings and nostalgia to your heart.

Love…is not something he would be thinking right now. He was busy enough taking care of the forest and the former sages as it is, and professing your long-term feelings for your childhood friend was not something you would call a wise decision. You were not ready to risk your decades of friendship for something as fickle as love…

Now I realize you were the only one. It's never too late to show it. Grow old together, have feelings we had before. Back when we were so innocent. I pray for all your love. Our love is so unreal. I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me. This is something like a movie. And I don't know how it ends. But I fell in love with my best friend.

But even though he was supposed to have his hands full, even though you knew the right and logical actions to never disrupt the fine line between friends and lovers, the heart is not something that was meant to be repressed. Ever.

But what it felt like endless nights of pining, of hopeless hoping, of days of being a lovestruck fool had ended when Tighnari, finally, had enough of your indecision and tiptoeing with him. There were no grand confession like what those Inazuman novels wrote in exaggeration, nor any special place he took you aside from the secret base that you two found as children before. But it felt just as special as he kissed you without reckless abandon, having exchanged the closeness of being friends, to the intimacy of being lovers, at last.

“...If, hypothetically speaking, would you still choose to return home when I tell you that I wanted to keep you for myself?”

(denial) enemies to lovers.

I never knew life could be like this. Never thought that I would be the one that you would kiss. I never knew love could be so rough. But now I found the real thing I can't get enough.

The first time you met the General Mahamatra, you already knew that you two wouldn't get along. It's not because of his steadfast sense of justice and persistence, or the way he apprehends scholars who broke the academic rules, no, but it's because of how he glared and scowled at you worse than the criminals he set his eyes on.

It does scare you a bit, especially when you knew to yourself that you did not do anything that would warrant his attention. Tighnari said that your research topic is safe enough, so you don't understand why…why is he so adamant at menacingly tailing you as if you didn't know he was watching you like a hawk in the library? Does he not realise that despite his short stature, ability to sneak undetected and blend in the background, he was basically standing out? And no, it's not because your eyes literally gravitate towards him and would be the first thing that you zoomed into when you knew he was nearby. It's definitely not that.

Though when you decided to bravely confront Cyno about his suspicious behaviour around you, he merely gave you a hard stare boring into your soul, scowling, before saying it's none of your business and walking off. You have never guessed the General Mahamatra is just so rude!!

Though when you tell this discovery to Tighnari, frowning and fuming, the fennec therianthrope hide a barely concealed amused grin with a shake of his head and told you that's just the way Cyno is when he was faced with something that he didn't know how to handle and deal with…namely, his emotions and the actions that come with it.

You decided to ignore the sly implications your friend was conveying to you, because there's just…no way that would ever happen! Though the reddening of your ears and the loud thundering of your heart didn't escape the Forest Watcher's observant eyes.

The sweetest surprise caught me tonight, right there in your eyes while I was kissing you. So don't say that you don't love, everything you dreamed of could be here.

"It isn't like what you think!" You exclaimed, defensive, eyes filled with horror as Tighnari smugly smirked at you. "I don't like the guy! He's irritating! And bossy! He's always picking on me! The only reason why I'm thinking of him is because surely, you're a lot nicer than him, unless we talk about your sass."

"Keep your reasons, [Name]." The fennec hybrid snickered when you glared at him. "I personally think you would not feel the need to compare someone to anyone if they weren't important. Really, my parents started like that."

You felt your whole face flushed in embarrassment. "Shut up. It doesn't mean—"

"Deny it as much as you like, but there's a very thin line between love and hate, you know. All those bickering, those exchanges of offending commentaries, calling each other names…" His grin turned wicked, before his eyes darted behind you. "Who knows? Perhaps you and Cyno are merely harbouring what we like to call…hmm…yes, adoration."

"The audacity! How could I adore that guy? There's no way!!"

Perhaps it may take time. But even though you both were in deep denial, even with the thunderous lies crossing your lips and the faux masks he wore, someday…somewhere, when the time is right and when you felt a little braver, you could finally admit that you loved him too, from the very beginning.

“When you believe me when I say I disliked you, why can't you believe me all the same when I say I love you, too?”

stuck together

…And I tried to find out if this one thing is true. That I'm nothing without you. I know better now and I've had a change of heart…

Sometimes, it does get hard taking care of him, there was no doubt about that. When you accepted the job offered to you by the Dendro Archon herself of taking care and basically being a prison warden of the "false god" that tried to take over her own country, you dreadedly knew that this was not something like a walk in the park, the one-of-a-kind job that you've never handled before.

But for the sake of not disappointing the newly-freed Archon, you tried your best to get along with your ward. He never ever told you his name, saying a lowly mortal like you doesn't deserve to know, and the few conversations you had with him were just full of insults, cruel remarks and if he's being somber enough to ignore your presence entirely, only silence remains between you two.

This same scenario had stretched over for months, and at this point, you were certain that this boy was merely testing your patience, if that annoying, arrogant and knowing smirk was anything to go by.

Though little by little, you noticed a bit of changes in his attitude towards you. It takes a shit ton amount of time till he stop with his cutting words, and instead of calling you a 'weak worm' just like what he loves calling your fellow human beings, he would settled with 'stupid mortal' for you instead. His condescending remarks would tone down a bit as well; and at times when he feels like it, he would even answer your questions and inquiries. His good moods were literally just him allowing only you to share under the warm shade of his hat during the rainy days or when the sun is too high.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart. I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

Little by little, step by step that you barely noticed it, he would allow you to see a part of himself that he locked tightly centuries ago. During the restless nights when he was visited by nightmares he long to forget, he would wordlessly seek out your company, and you knew better than to ask him and pester him what was wrong. Deep inside, when this happened, he was grateful that you didn't pry any further.

This was a routine that you both fell comfortably with, albeit started as a weird, and exasperating one. Cutting insults slowly turned into playful bickerings, his rude name calling became a little affectionate, and sometimes, just sometimes, he would begrudgingly allow you to hold him in an embrace to keep him grounded and sane.

There was one time that he accidentally fell asleep on you in this position, while running your fingers through his surprisingly soft and silky hair, and the dumbfounded expression on his face when he woke up leaning on you was so worth the numbness of your body the whole night. He then proceeds to threaten you to never speak of this event ever again (especially to anyone or else!) his ears turning adorably red and his face flaming with embarrassment, to your amusement.

These moments are both precious and irreplaceable to both of you, and when the time comes that he could finally find it in himself to completely trust, to trust you fully, once again…maybe it would also be the time that he would trust you with his name, at long last.

“They're the person who held me at my weakest, their eyes saw me at my darkest, and after all of that, they're the one who continued to love me at my worst.”

TAGLIST (let me know if you want to be added in my future works!): @samarill , @maehemthemisfit , @chocogi , @rvoulte ...

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #tighnari x reader #cyno x reader #albedo x reader #genshin albedo #genshin cyno #genshin tighnari #genshin scaramouche #wanderer x reader #gender neutral reader #jaded moments—!#twilight theatre

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hedgehog-moss · 1 year

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Some plant news! I've been waiting impatiently to see if the stuff I planted last autumn had survived the winter, and it's looking good so far. All my young fruit trees are blooming (quince, cherry, apple, mirabelle)

The persimmon has no blossoms but some microscopic leaves, I hope it grows more vigorous... I only lost one baby chestnut tree, which seems to have been massacred by a very angry animal. A boar having a bad day? I'll have to plant a couple more this autumn and protect them better. I can just use the remains of one of the many types of fences that Pampe has defeated.

My greenhouse now has to wear a blanket in the afternoons so it doesn't get too hot inside. I planted four flowering shrubs around it in November, so their roots will consolidate the new terraces, and I'm happy to say they are all accounted for—these two have already doubled in volume, they seem thrilled to be there:

Whereas these two all but disappeared during the winter, the ground just swallowed them; I wasn't too optimistic but they showed up again last month, with timid new leaves :) (The pics are very zoomed in, the resurrected shrubs are about the size of my fist but I'm proud of them)

Also I found wild redcurrants by the stream last year and I snapped a few small branches and just stuck them in a pot without really believing it would work. Internet said it would work but it seemed impossible. I left the pot outside all winter, never watering it or taking care of it in any way, with these four bare sticks that I sometimes looked at dubiously. It worked!!! They have leaves now! I made new redcurrant plants by sticking branches in dirt, it feels magical. They're my favourite berries too...

(My project for next autumn will be to propagate elderberry cuttings alongside the fence.) And speaking of berries, I got to eat my first aquaponic-grown strawberry today, it was delicious <3 Congratulations to the 42 fish who are hard at work fertilising the plants in the towers. There are many more strawberries in preparation!

I leave the greenhouse doors open all day when it's sunny so there are pollinators busily flying in and out, doing their job. I tried to relocate a few ladybirds to the strawberry towers to eat aphids but without success, I think they left immediately...

My lettuce and tomato plants are doing great, but the courgette plants got decimated by slugs despite my efforts to repel them. I ended up buying some organic antislug product a friend of my mum's recommended. I started new courgette seeds, and I'll wait until they're bigger to transplant them to slug territory.

The little Mexican orange tree is blossoming, and finally making new leaves (the new ones are yellow) after looking worryingly bald for a while this winter. The blossoms really do smell like orange blossoms! I know it's right there in the name but I'm still like oh look at you you talented orange tree, you got the smell of your flowers right on the first try and everything

Congrats to Mascarille who was looking for the greenhouse entrance in the above pic (she always has to walk around it a few times, she's confused by glass walls) and eventually triumphed over adversity.

Oh and I'm still getting fresh peas, in homeopathic quantities. I found that they grow well in the middle of winter so I'll plant a lot more this autumn when the towers aren't full of strawberries and herbs; for now I've started just eating them raw like little green candy.

Last but not least, Louise Michel the new hen has finally learnt how to climb my homemade stairs that lead to the greenhouse! Look at her showing off her new skill, all casually like this problem hasn't stumped her for weeks:

#crawling along #@ladymantillon it's under your bad influence that i started gobbling peas raw like a bird instead of waiting to have enough to cook #also i've been working all weekend on a pampe-related thing #tomorrow is protest time but i'll try to implement it on tuesday. pampe is aware that something is going on and is deeply suspicious

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theold-ultraviolence · 3 months

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What are modern!Aemond’s favorite things about being a parent and the things he struggles with the most?

Hello my darling!! again, so sorry for the late reply. But I kinda wanted to do something different than the usual headcanons or shorter replies I've been posting lately! I really wanted to challenge the mental block I've been feeling since last year and actually write a little something, so here ya go! hope you like this and hope this answers your question!! x

Aemond hasn't slept a wink.

He's been perched on his reclining chair all night, right by Amaelia's beside. By a cruel prank whatever divine force is angry with him right now, Amaelia caught some sort of stomach bug, on the very same night that his wife had to leave for a work trip - for the first time since giving birth to Amaelia. And while this isn't, by any means, the first time his daughter has been ill, it's the first time he's had to take care of her on his own.

He's watching like a gargoyle, with his eye fixed on Amaelia's breathing, carefully monitoring her temperature every five minutes, like clockwork. He frets about waking her every time his trembling hand rests on her forehead, but, he has to make sure. And like the royal guards of the bedtime stories he reads to her, he's standing by with Tylenol and a glass of water in case her temperature flares up, and a bin in case she throws up again - ready to combat whatever might decide to hurt her next.

This, he decides, has got to be the only thing he dreads about being a parent. If this were any other problem, like bullies in school, or a scraped knee, he could take care of it. He could be storming the principal's office in no time, or scare away the bullies with one of his infamous glares; a scraped tee only takes some mending and lots of hugs afterward - maybe an indulgent treat. But these sorts of illnesses he cannot see, cannot predict how bad they'll escalate, or if they're a symptom of something worse. This is killing him. And braving it alone is killing him.

He gazes at his baby with a forlorn twinkle in his eyes, missing his wife, missing the day before this, when Amaelia was being her bubbly self, jumping up and down in bed while her mother packed for the trip.

His baby.

Amaelia is like a living poem; as Aemond observes, his heart races as his eye travels along the many paths and landmarks of her face that represent the love his wife and him share. The more she grows, the less he can tell where he ends and his wife begins, as Amaelia blooms into her own. In this very moment though, he can pinpoint certain traces and echoes of him, in the shape of her pouty lips as she sleeps; and of his wife, in the way her long eyelashes are delicately cushioned against her chubby cheeks.

This is the best part, he muses to himself. Having participated in the creation of something truly magical, and watch, as time goes by, how that magical being keeps transforming, and surprising him with things about the world that he would've deemed mundane if Amaelia hadn't brushed her strokes of magic upon them. Like when Amaelia told him that in Germany, ladybugs are referred to "Mary Beetles", which is something that his sister Helaena must have told her, but it kick-started Amaelia's fascination over them, and now, whenever she spots a ladybug in their garden, a beautiful awestruck glow paints her face. And he's absolutely certain that he sees light, actual rays of sunlight radiating from her eyes when he cradles the bug in her tiny palms.

It's magic.

And by gods, he's gonna make sure he takes care of her little bud of magic, no matter how terrifying it gets, no matter the hardships and struggles.

#aemond targaryen #modern!aemond #dad!aemond #modern!aemond's family #my writing #aemond targaryen x reader #reader insert #my aus #my oc: amaelia targaryen

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telemi · 2 years

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Hi can i request hurt/comfort probably with ayato, childe and diluc where they're too busy and the reader confronted them about it but they just shrug it off and the reader becames tired and leave? ;;

growing tired — ft. ayato, childe, diluc

ִֶָ𓂅 a flower that once bloomed . . .

꒰ cw ! ꒱ hurt to comfort, gn!reader, not proofread ?!

K. AYATO

it had been days since you last saw ayato. he had been busy... as the servants have said. he neither made the effort to show himself nor spend time with you. even getting a glance of his blue hair is hard to do because: 1.) you wake up and he’s not there, presumably at work. 2.) he rarely sleeps in your bedroom now. it’s like your shared bedroom has no use to him at all!

when you finally decided to confront him about it, he doesn’t look at you and instead he focuses on the documents on his table. “can we talk about this later? i have important matters to attend to.” he shoos you away like some sort of animal as he turns his head away and just leaves you there. with your fists clenched and your eyes dull, your lips quiver slightly and you smile weakly — “i see, okay, let’s talk later then.”

after his work is done, he finally realizes what he just said. he rushes back to your bedroom, only to notice that you’re not there. huh, not a big deal right? you’re probably outside. when he steps outside however, you were nowhere in sight, and that’s when he panics. he shouts, screams, yells your name but to no avail. the servants haven’t seen you either so just where could you be?

as the sun sets with no news of your whereabouts, he became restless. just then thoma came running to him and told him that he saw you silently enter the premises of the estate, and ayato is more than relieved to hear that. please, please, please be alright — he chants repeatedly, hoping that you weren’t hurt by anyone.

as you remove your shoes, a sudden force collapses from behind you and a familiar scent engulfs your senses. oh, how you’ve missed this. he clings to you like you’re his lifeline and his whole body trembles uncontrollably. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said that. it was wrong of me and—”

“ayato, hey, it’s fine.” you ease his worries and hush him quietly. turning your front to him, you place your palm on his cheek, leaning in close and leaving a soft kiss on his lips. he softens against your touch and keeps a firm, loving gaze on you. “please don’t ever leave me like that.”

you tilt your head, confused. “hm? i was merely taking a walk though?” oh.

CHILDE

last month, childe brought you to meet his family in snezhnaya. their first impressions of you were great! they basically loved you already <33 but childe wasn’t the most diligent when it comes to your relationship. just a week ago, he left you at home to finish up some ‘stuff’ at his workplace. he didn’t specify much but that’s pretty much what he said.

at first you didn’t mind his absence that much, teucer and tonya kept you company while his parents kept talking to you about how ajax was such a cute baby. they showed you his baby album yes. but as time went on, you realized that it was lonely without him. no cuddles, hello’s, or late night talks — nothing. so when he comes back home with a huge, thick coat wrapped around him, you engulf him in a big hug before he pushes you away harshly shortly after. “don’t touch me. let’s talk later, i’m tired.” he tells you with a tone filled with exhaustion and you nod your head thoughtfully, not wanting to disturb him any longer.

after a few hours of laying down on your shared bedroom, he finally shoots up from the mattress and rubs his temples in realization. shit, what an idiot he is. he calls for your name repeatedly but no one answered, it is at that moment where he starts to worry. he asks teucer if he had seen you but the little boy simply shook his head ‘no’. he asks his older siblings if they had seen you yet he was only met with another shake of their heads again. just where could you be?

after a few minutes of panicking, he hears the front door open and it reveals you with his mother carrying a bag of groceries. you stop by your tracks when you make eye contact with him, but before you can say a simple ‘hello’, he runs up to you and hugs you tightly. “ ‘m sorry, i shouldn’t have done that, no— i will never do it again. please don’t leave me.” his voice quavers slightly while you cage your hands behind is back, dropping your groceries and soothing him quietly. “i will never. it’s all right, ajax.”

and he swears he could tear up right there and then if it weren’t for his family looking at the two of you like they were watching a romance show.

DILUC

diluc had been out of it lately. out of the manor, out of your life — everything. he just says that he has some work to do outside of town and that you shouldn’t concern yourself with such matters. for ten consecutive days, he still hasn’t returned home and you started to get anxious. what if he got into trouble? or perhaps danger? just thinking about it makes you dread. but when he comes home completely unscathed, you were more than relieved.

“diluc, how have you been? do you need a bath? i can tell adelinde to—”

“stop. i’m tired, don’t bother me for a while.” he sighs against his palm as he passes by you like you were a nobody. “oh, okay..” you grip your fingers in a state of both anxiousness and relief as you retreat to the living room.

he enters the master bedroom and flumps on the soft mattress. i can clean this up later, he thinks before he drifts into sleep. when he finally awoke from his slumber it was already midnight and you were nowhere to be found.

....

not a big deal. you probably went to the bathroom. a few minutes passed and you still didn’t return. okay, now he was getting restless.

did you leave? it was all his fault, why did he have to say something so stupid earlier. stupid, idiotic diluc ragnvindr.

he gets up from his position and walks out the door with a blank, but worried expression on his face. the mansion was quiet, mostly because the workers and servants are all asleep. he slowly walks down the stairs and the moment he stepped down the last step, his heart was crushed at the sight of you. your body was sleeping on the couch, clearly uncomfortable, but still you made room for it. he approaches you and kneels down, placing his forehead onto yours while letting out a shaky breath, “thank goodness.”

he lifts you up gently as to not disturb your peaceful sleep and slowly brings you up the stairs to your shared bedroom. he lays you down gently and brushes off any stray hair away from your face. his hand strokes the side of your face and he whispers underneath his breath, “i’m sorry, my love.” even though you were asleep, you felt as if something sweet brushed over your thoughts and you could never be happier.

🏷️ — ( taglist ) : @kujuo, @yonaraee, @modmochi, @thirtyn1ne, @elizabethrosedarling, @albenyx, @deathkat657, @kazu-topia , @starfellforyou (refer to this post if you want to be tagged in my future works)

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dietmountaindewbae · 2 months

Note

FETUS DOM AL BTB ERA PLZPLZ PLZ PLZ LOVE UR WORK SM

xxiv. she's so high

alex turner x reader

word count: 10816

summary: Alex (btb!) has a complicated relationship with you.

warnings: dr*gs, alcoh*l, fighting, degrad*ng.

song requests: the lotts, stoned again, teenage riot, about a girl, get drunk, i don’t belong, gouge away, breaking the girl & liberty belle.

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Since the beginning of your friendship with your best friend Maggy, you knew that your older brother Matt had something to do with her, always teased her, annoyed her, just to get her to talk to him, and when she finally realized how much he liked her, they were quick to start dating. Matt was cool, he filled in the shoes of the older brother and best friend role perfectly, your number one confidant, and your partner in crime, it was weird when they didn't see the three of you together, you thought it was best to let things be cool in between all of you. Besides, you knew Matt, and you knew your friend, and you saw this love blooming so beautifully.

Matt was very popular, and that's the only reason you were popular in the first place, Helder's little sister, ever since he and his mates played at The Grapes everyone was trying to be friends with you to get with any of the boys in the band, boys all over you since you took a change in style, even though you often saw them rehearse in the garage, you knew them all since little kids. Jamie, Andy, and Alex were Matt's childhood best friends, you liked them all, except for one.

"I can't believe Alex threw Matt's stick at me," Maggy laughs at you as you show her the bruise on your thigh, and the redness in your cheeks when you get mad.

"Sounds like someone fancies you" You rolled your eyes and scoffed, Maggy invited you to her house for a very-needed sleepover, just you and her so that you could work on some cool designs for the monkey's flyers, they had a significant gig coming soon, in a couple of days they were off to play at a club and if things went well they were only up from there. Maggy gave her opinions and talked to you while you kept writing by hand the font for their name.

"Piss off" Alex was a dickhead with you, he always did everything to get you mad ever since you became quiet around him, laughed at you when you called him a prick, or when your cheeks turned bright red, and your eyebrows were pushed together. Since you were kids he hasn't stopped bugging you and calling you Mardy Bum, you didn't despise him, you just hated how much he teased you, so much that you teased him in different ways. You knew he fancied you, but you never really did anything to give him hope.

"You know how boys are, look at me and Matt" You cross your arms, laying on the floor next to her, "Don't be so cold, one day you'll fall in lo-"

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, "Love, love, love... what is it good for?" Maggy nudged your shoulder, "Absolutely nothin'" Then you heard her phone buzzing from under the pillow, you bet it was Matt. She stood up from the ground and you kept gluing more pictures into the flyers so you could print them out for their gig.

"Wait..." You turn your head, and Maggy sits down to write back to Matt with a smile on her face, "Change of plans, get ready now, Matt's gonna pick us up... they're playing today, are the flyers ready?"

"Almost but... what do you mean they're playin' today, wasn't it tomorrow?" Maggie quickly changed into her clothes and started to do her makeup as fast as she could, putting some sparkly golden eye shadow in her eyes.

"I'm serious, finish that, and I'll pick your clothes, I'll do your makeup on the floor" You cut up more pictures of them as fast as you can, and stick some stickers into the paper as Maggy does your makeup at the speed of light, she sets up an outfit for you but you didn't get enough time to change, by the time the flyers were done Matt had already arrived with the guys in Andy's mum's van. Alex and Matt stepped out and jumped the brick wall into Maggy's garden, she waved hi at them and threw some clothes at Matt's face, "Come here, fast!" You couldn't believe you were crawling out the window with your pajamas and black boots on while Maggy was all glammed and ready for the night, the things you do for them.

She carefully crawled out and sat on the edge of her roof, Matt secured her legs and she jumped out of the roof with his help, they peck their lips lingeringly and you roll your eyes as you see who came to help you jump, you must be taking a piss.

Alex was waiting for you with his arms crossed, wearing a long-sleeved cherry red shirt and his vintage Levi's denim jacket and jeans to pair with his black Adidas, he was standing crossed arm bitting on his bottom lip, looking giddy and worried, looking around the place to make sure no one was watching us, you laughed at how much of a goodie he was, he wouldn't even dare to pull a quest like this ever, "Why are you standing like that? Are you some crook?" He smacks his lips and rolls his eyes as you throw him your heavy leather jacket, "Bet you're shitting yourself"

He scoffed and laughed nervously saying no with his head, but you knew his little heart was pumping fast and his tummy was twisting round and round, "Just get the fuck down Juliet" You kick his arm earning a quiet grunt from him, and his arm wraps around your thighs and you hold on to his shoulders as he helps you to get down from the roof, and when you land on the ground his hand lightly squeezes your ass.

"You're no Romeo" You hit him in the arm, and he kneels intertwining his fingers to catapult you to the other side of the wall, "I swear if you grab my arse again I will castrate you" He doesn't sound too threatened by you, even though you're squinting your eyes, and your eyebrows are in frown he ignores you.

"Are you gunna jump or what?" You grab some impulse and Alex jumps high enough to grip the edge of the wall, "Help me" He struggles, "Help me Mardy!" He demands with annoyance.

"Say you're sorry first" He rolls his eyes, you didn't care if he was hanging from the edge of a cliff, he had to apologize, even if you didn't care, you just wanted to hear that word coming out of his cocky mouth.

"Right, right... I'm sorreh Mardy..." His jaw clenched, and he didn't mean it at all but you were more than satisfied, you grabbed his hand tightly pulled him in and he sat next to you recovering his breath, "Does that get you off or what?" You both jump down and run to the van, Maggy sitting on Matt's lap while Jamie is in the front seat next to Andy who was the designated driver and will surely be the death of you all, all their guitar cases were pilled up in the back and an amp was stuffed in the middle of the seats.

"Where is she supposed to sit?"Jamie said, Matt and Maggy look at each other, and back at you, and then Alex holds his hand out for you and you sigh, he pulls you in and you sit on his knee.

"I swear if I feel one hand..." He nods his head with a grin.

"I know" He smiles at you, biting his bottom lip, you and Maggy look at each other, you try not to be bothered by that, but it feels a little strange, you had seen him do that a few times, but his eyes, gazing at your intensely, it makes you feel some way, it feels wrong but it excites you.

Maggy handed you over the clothes you would change into, "Look away" You say to him, he looks through the window, and you take your top off quickly, kicking your shoes off so you can strip down your pajamas and slide on your tights, and then your skirt, taking a small pause to fix your makeup, but suddenly Andy steps on the gas, going so fast the speed pushes your back against Alex's chest, "Shit!" Everyone was laughing as Andy played around with the car, changing lanes going in zic zac feeling the adrenaline spike in your veins, you grabbed Alex's hand tightly without even noticing, he took advantage of the moment, he put his hand on your waist to hold you tightly, he admired you, your laughter, your pouty lips and deep eyes, your soft skin and the belly button ring he had seen a couple of times whenever you wore a crop top around the guys during rehearsals. He twists your skin in between his fingers, pinching it just to get you to see him, "Wanker" You tease him, both smiling at each other. And just for a split second, he thought maybe you could like him, but your smile faded away as blue and red lights flashed before your eyes, the only reason Andy stopped was when he heard the police sirens catching up to you all.

"Fuckin' hell!"

"We're never gunna get there"

"Pull over!"

"Don't pull over, drive!"

"Andy!"

"Shut the fuck up, I'm pullin' over!" Andy screamed and everyone was panicking, spitting the most grotesque curses under their breaths. Maggy was quick to get on her knees and hide in the little space in between the seat in front of her and Matt, she used it as a shelter.

"Hide love," Alex says, you follow the same steps as Maggy, Alex takes off his denim jacket and covers you, if the coppers were to see two underaged girls, both half-dressed in the back of the car with two boys, on their knees, everyone would get arrested for pulling a scene like this, Andy's license would be taken away, their dreams and their freedom would be stripped out from all of them the moment they got home after being bailed out, and that's even if their mothers did. Alex managed to hide you, not well, but you wrapped yourself up in a little ball and hid yourself from the coppers.

Two knocks at the window from the grey-haired officers with truncheons dressed in hats make Andy gulp, one officer on each side of the window, 6 teenagers shivering and shitting themselves, "Oh hello officer, good evenin'" Fuck off Andy.

"Where do you think you're going? Speedin' like that in the middle of the road at 12:30 on a Saturday night? What's got you lots in such a hurry?" Andy stuttered, Jamie pinched the bridge of his nose as the other officer looked at him with annoyance, "Have you been drinkin' son? You don't look old enough to me"

"I'm sorry, officer, is there a certain age you're supposed to be? 'Cause nobody told me" Jamie punched him in the leg by trying to outsmart them, and the officer flashed his lights at Jamie, he wasn't feeling well, he looked as if he was about to puke his liver out, and his heart pumping blood to his system so fast he was starting to sweat.

"Your friend looks sweaty," Andy looked at him, and Jamie looked back at the officer, "Right, that's enough... " Said the office on the right, Andy looked back at Jamie, then to Alex and Matt through the rearview, all of them thinking the same, it was time, the officer on the left took a step back, flashed his light at Alex's eyes, and if he took a deeper look in, he would see where your body was hiding, curled up into a tiny little ball, you were shaking beneath his feet, the thrill in the fear both mix in. Alex could feel you, he felt his heart pumping like gas, the moment one of the officers began to examine Matt and Alex, Alex mouths the word, "Drive!" To andy.

Andy, not looking back, not doubting twice, steps on the gas of his mum's van leaving the coppers behind, and uprolls the riot van it sparks excitement in the boys, and the policemen look annoyed.

Everyone's fists up in the air, punching the ceiling, chanting, "Andy! Andy! Andy!" We ran away just for the laugh, Alex settled you on his lap once more, holding you close, tightly, securing you, and you fell into his chest, your ear against his heart, hearing it pump faster, even faster since he could feel your warm skin filled with goosebumps, you were still wearing nothing but your skirt and your bra, his hand pressed flat on your back, his deep brown eyes, looking at you with desire, what is happening? You think to yourself. Something was certainly going to happen tonight, and not getting arrested by miracle was one of them.

"Havin' a good time? " His gaze petrified you, his eyes looking at you in a way no one had ever done before, and you shivered. His eyes ran down your body, thinking about how hot you looked wearing his jacket, your black brazier, and that belly button ring, but he mostly loved your cute little braids on your black shiny hair, reminded him of the times when you were younger, and you shone like the sun, you weren't so dark, so mysterious, what other secrets do you keep from your mum? You're off the rails, and you love facing the obscure, and the thrill of it, and his eyes sparked that excitement in you, you hated to submit to that fact.

"Perv" You grin and quickly look for your shirt, you toss him back his jacket and get dressed for once, and when you finally sit up straight, you see the knuckles of his fingers clinging to the holes of your tights like claws, you don't say anything, it was a silent touch in between you too, you settled on his knee again, legs open, just to try and see what happens.

"Who's the crook in this crime now?" You rolled your eyes at his awful joke, his fingertips now lightly caressed your skin, just gently, almost undetectable, but you felt it. Andy went through some bumps, and they made you bounce on Alex's knee, you could feel his eyes all over you, and he leaned into your ear, "Don't you like that?" Your touch electrifies the little hairs on his arms, he puts his hand on your black leather bracelet and hoops, and you snatch your wrist away from him, and look at him from the side.

"Like, what?" You spit back, your eyes locked in a stare, he's too afraid to say anything else, he is annoyed, he doesn't understand what is he doing so wrong when all he wants is your attention.

"It's not easy to talk to you Mardy, you're unpredictable, inscrutable, you're cold, but when you're nice-" You crossed your arms, while Alex tried to find an answer from you, and all he got was nothing, he can't wrap his head around you, he can't figure you out.

"Don't start" He knew you were troubled, looking for fun in all the wrong places but in the eyes of your parents you were a calm girl, who knew how to behave when in secret you sneaked boys on and off your bedroom window and stuck some snow down your nose so you could smile, you didn't talk to him anymore, that's why he teased you, just to get any reaction from you like the old times, and in the rare occasion he made you smile at him even just for a second, or when your eyes run into each other by accident, spiders crawl all over his skin.

All you did was leave his poor brain like spinning plates.

When the time arrived after an hour's drive, you were in the back of the strange club, the night was cold and you were shivering, you thought you might reach for Maggy's hand, but she was too busy with Matt, and you felt it, you were alone. You form in a line at the back, where all the bands form together.

These two bouncers stopped you all at the entrance, one was alright, but the other one was scary, he had no time for you looking or breathing, just wanting to tell all of you to kick off, the lots in the back all wearing black while all of you were dressed in distressed jeans, polo's and hoodies, you and Maggy looked younger and weaker compared to the rest, the bouncer, the scary one, eyed you both up and down, "We're Arctic Monkeys, we're the opening band for tonight" Alex shows his wrist band and gives out the flyer you made for the gig, all of the boys wearing one except you and Maggy

The scary bouncer looks at his mate, "And the girls?"

"They're coming with us" Everyone in line was telling you all to piss off, to go back home, but you could see it clearly in Matt's sparkly eyes, he was cracking up, this was a chance they couldn't lose.

"ID," The man said, fuckin' hell, seems like there's no other choice you thought to yourself. That was the thing about you, you could kiss all the boys, but you were too clever to be a slag, and when you wanted something badly, like now, you could play the role of being a cunt if you had to to get what you wanted,"If they haven't got one, they can't come in, no minors"

"But I bet that's no problem for you is it, big man?" You take a step forward, looking at him dead in the eye, your cat eyes ready to attack, sometimes you had to grab the bull from its balls for him to understand what where you trying to say, you take a step close to him, Maggy knew exactly what you were doing, she discreetly whispers to Matt to turn around, and you flash them both your tits, easily as that.

"I've seen better," He says with no care, and he with no option but to suffer from his smart choice of words.

"I thought you would know better" You grab his balls tightly taking him by surprise, "We all have a prize, what's the prize for your head?" You dig your nails in between his legs, squeezing him tightly, and you bite your lower lip, his mate watching you carefully, he is amazed, "10... 20..." He twists in pain, weeping and his mouth shaking, "You're the only one that keeps crying like a little shit, is that what you are? Mummy's little boy" You mock his little weeping, "You sound pathetic"

"10 pounds, you and your mate," He says between greeted teeth, he knew better than to not lay a hand on you, and the other guy as well, but you were impressed by how quiet he was, the scary man looks at his mate and he stays still, he eyed you up and down, shamelessly looking at your tits with a grin, "Mind helpin' me out here?"

"Nah, I'm good" You flirt with him with your smile and your eyes, and he winks his eye. Alex barely recognizes you at this point, any knowledge of you had been stripped from the idea he had in his head. The girl he likes, she was still somewhere, Mardy was still there buried inside you, hidden beneath all of that eyeliner and silver sparkles, trapped in your coldness, now it was his turn to make a true effort to know you since he truly cares for you.

"Just get the fuck in" You let him go and smile at him, his mate opens the door for you, and your smile fades living him confused, and that's how you bite the men, insert your poison and leave them twisting in pain, which meant he and Alex have something in common.

"Watch your girl," He says to Al, they both look back at you and before you go into the party you answer back to them.

"I don't belong to anyone" You disappear into the darkness, Alex kept wondering how you and Matt were related, he would never do something like that, act like this, you enjoyed staying in the cold, while Matt stayed balanced, warm, friendly, but you... he had not a single clue.

You and Maggy follow them to the back, she was holding your brother's sweaty hand with care, Matt knew better than to keep yours and his things in between you two, you weren't one to pull these scenes, he and Maggy knew that you only stepped in when needed, and you needed to get in, because a part of you, not only cared deeply about your brother's dreams, a part of you cared deeply about the boy in that denim jacket with a hoodie and his dreams, the one carrying the heavy amp and his bass with his arms, and the one with red cheeks almost as red as his guitar. They had worked hard, and Alex had passed late nights trying to squeeze more songs off of his brain, tonight could change things, but this night felt different.

You helped to set them up on the stage, many boys whistling and savoring you with their eyes, and as you were stepping down, Alex was waiting for you by the staircase next to the stage, and to your surprise, he was already knackered, pulling on his messy brown hair, "What?" You say close to his ear, he squeezes your shoulders together.

"All I wanted to say was that... I care about you Mardy, I don't know what happened to you... but I wanna kno' where's my Mardy? The one that laughed and joked around? The one that always teased me and played with me in the swings, the one that hugged me sporadically... what do I need to do to get you-" The microphone's intermission cuts Alex's questions, his face in a frown, his eyes filled with so many emotions and booze.

"Right on! Up next say hello to my little friends... Arctic Monkeys!" Everyone chants the boy's names, clapping and waiting for them with excitement. He wants to reach for your hands, but Jamie comes running up the stairs.

"You're up... you are all gonna do great" Matt and Andy pull him to the stage, he was made a total mess, his eyes red shot and his mouth dry, he takes a step in front of the mic, strapping his strat across his body, Andy was buzzing with excitement, Jamie finished tunning his fiesta red telecaster, Matt blew a kiss to Maggy, and she grabs it with her fist and presses it against her chest.

Maggy quickly ran with you to be in the sea of people, pushing each one of them away with your elbow or with your shoulders, holding onto your hand like a safe lock with a chain, and got to the front safely, right beneath Alex's feet, you look at him through your lashes and wink at him, "Rock on!" Maggy and yourself secure arms, and the moment Matt begins the count down electricity rushes into your veins.

The crowd was a riot, they played songs back to back, you and Maggy jumping and screaming the songs at the top of your lungs, Andy rocked that bass with his groovy lines that accentuated each of the riffs Alex and Jamie played back on back, Matt was dripping in sweet his face all flushed just like yours did, genetics. Your body was getting tired, your feet were bruised from the number of people that stepped on them, then your hair was pulled by accident by the tall boy next to you with a spiky leather bracelet on his wrist, "Are you alright?" He yells into your ear, Alex quickly notices it, and his eyes focus on you and the block you are talking to, he notices how close his lips are to your cheek, and he sees you nodding your head and laughing so hard at what he was slurring into your ear, he felt some relieve he had pulled away from you but then he kneeled to the ground and you threw your leg over his head, picking you up from his shoulders, you were pure euphoria all over the place, you threw your jacket to the stage, making it land on Alex on purpose, he smiles at you as the block squeezes your thighs. He can't find the answers to all of the questions in his head, you were many things, but one of them was unpredictable, too clever.

He watches you light a smoke, his eyes light up as your lips curl into a smile, you are aware of his gaze on you, those same eyes on his face looking at you with burning desire, he feels the heat, and now it is the time, he stripped off his cares, and with the liquid courage in his veins he had the nerve to sing the next song.

"Alreyt! How you doin' tonight?!" Everyone chants and whistles at Alex's rowdy and drunken voice, the crowd surfers up in the air, with no shirts and no care, "I said how you fuckin' doin' tonight?!" You whistle back at him with your fingers in your mouth, and he watches you with a smile going down memory lane as he hears your childish laughter, "We're Arctic Monkeys, and this next song is about a girl, you know who you are..." He slurs looking at you with his watery doe eyes, "This one is called...!" Jamie bends his strings, and Alex's strings ring through the amps loaded with fuzz, your ears ringing with the sharp intermission, provoking a fire in their spirits, "Space Invaders!" His fingers hit the top strings of his white strat, hitting those power chords hard, and he doesn't take his eyes away from you, not even to blink when he starts singing.

Space invaders flying home Yeah, they're going to hit the sack And they are prob'ly going to die getting high Cause they're mixing crazy ... with the crack

You eye him, and you invite him in with your eyes, igniting a fire that spreads all over his body, he looks at you with his casanova eyes, smirking, sounding more confident than ever, that version of him suits him very handsomely, you were thrilled to see what else had he had to say in between those catchy riffs and clever lyrics.

And she's kissing all the boys She's to clever to be slack But she's bound to go away for a day In July, so she won't be coming back

This song with no doubt was about you, kissing all the boys? You're all he could ever think about, so you give him exactly what he wants, a reaction, you take your index and slide it inside your mouth, sucking it and pulling out your middle finger with a grin on your lips, he strums his strings faster to sing the chorus.

Baby, baby, baby The good old days to tax Baby, baby, baby Won't you dry your pretty eyes Baby, baby, baby Your good old days to tax Come on!

Your heart flutters, and a strange feeling of something inside you feeling full makes your gut twitch, he moans into the microphone, and you feel a dull ache in between your legs as he rolls his eyes back, knowing well you had provoked him, you didn't know what you did to earn that song, but Alex could write a million songs and still not be finished. Maggy looks at you and your arms up in the air, swaying them and smiling, you truly feel happy, but you know that happiness doesn't last forever, but you'll miss it and it sickened you to know so. You tell the big guy to put you down as the show is ending and the monkeys are finishing up the song, to wrap it up.

The boy tries to follow you but you escape him, "That's all for the night folks, you were a lovely crowd, remember we're Arctic Monkeys, goodnight!" You push the people away, looking for an escape from all you are about to feel soon.

Alex comes down from the stage, Maggy is the only one waiting for them on the staircase, "Where's- where is she?" Alex asks Maggy, she shrugs and looks at Matt.

"She walked away as the show ended, I thought she was going here but... I lost her, she'll be back soon, maybe she went out with that block" Alex was losing his mind, he was self-aware about the song he had made for you, told everyone it was about another girl, but what other fucking girl? there was no other girl, you were the only one that he was fixated on.

"Matt, I need to talk to you" He was so scared of blowing things off, by confessing his massive crush on his best mate's little sister, but you were all that he wanted since you were all little kids, he was rambling about so many things, and he was trying to explain himself but going nowhere apologizing at the end of every sentence he made but Matt stopped him.

"Alex, you can tell me anything, you know that," Matt says understandingly, he knew what he was about to say.

"But I'm afraid you'll hate me forever" He scratches his arm, and Matt takes a step forward and stops him from bruising his arm, Alex didn't want to hurt his best mate, but Matt knew since the beginning.

"I'm afraid you'll get heartbroken, she can be a handful Al, you know that" Alex sighs, and Matt hugs him tight, "But I also know you can help her heal, I just don't want you to get hurt in the process" Alex smiled at Matt.

"We all have to try our best for the ones we love" Matt punches him in his shoulder pushing him away, they both laugh and hug once more, "So, is it ok If I... ?" Matt nods his head, patting his back.

"But if you dare to do summat to her..." Matt and Alex laugh at each other, and he pats Alex's back with care knowing well that you were the one that would probably do things to Alex. Matt is happy, Alex is descent, and he knows he'll help you by loving you, "Go get her, I have a feeling she might be outside" And like that Alex rushes outside, running through the crowded room and going through the back door, you were outside with the bouncer, the nice one, and looking as if you were flirting with him, he was quick to shut that down.

"Mardy" He sees your face light up, and you smile at him but it wasn't because you wanted to, it was because you were already pissed up, the bouncer scratches the back of his head.

"Hey, rockstar" You giggle drunkenly, if you weren't standing next to him he would've already kicked that man's face, "Looking for me?" You teased.

"Thought she didn't belong to anyone" The man crosses his arms as he sees you looking at Alex with a smile, you wanted to eat him up, "She's a cunt" Alex takes a step forward but you stop him.

"The fuck did you say?" He spits.

"Don't" You knew he stood no chance against the 6 ft bouncer, so maybe you were right, Alex didn't stand a chance but he wasn't one to handle disrespect nicely. He and you walked back inside together dancing in the lights, letting them flash beneath your eyes, letting the tempo mark your dancing in the blue neon lights, the white neon lights flash on your face, and you turn to look at Alex, he was in a trance as your heavenly eyes look at him, you pull him in, and you make him dance with you.

"How much did you have?" He asks and you push your shoulders together with no care grabbing his hands to dance with him to the music, his eyes looking at your lips and your body with desire, he was all in for you, he was made a fool for you.

"I like the song you made me for me Al" You take a step closer to him, and his breathing gets stuck as he hears his heartbeat in his ears, he can smell your lovely perfume, and he can see your diamond eyes, your pink glossy lips so close to him, just for you to kiss his cheek, "I liked it" He closed his eyes, feeling your lips linger and burn on his cheek like a cigarette burning on his skin, and just like that, you disappear into thin air, he had lost you in that crazy amount of people.

"For fucks sake..." He sighed as he downs more cups of the cheapest booze trying to locate you with his eyes, he was losing his mind, his heart beating in his ears, the booze making his body feel light and dizzy but his head made a mess. He was feeling paranoid and worried sick of losing you, but his ears rang at the sound of your voice like a loyal dog.

"I said goddamn!" You scream at the top of your lungs, he sees you snorting some thin lines of coke by some settees with a mirror and a tiny spoon, laughing so loudly it made your stomach hurt, he knew exactly the 10 minutes you were lost were right about enough for you to do anything you wanted, you had no one to stop you. Alex sits next to you impulsively.

"Hey," Says the girl with messy blonde hair sitting next to him, her eyes red with a woozy smile, "You were really good up there" He feels your eyes lingering on him, he feels he has all of your attention by now, as you probably give her the deadliest glare.

"Do you wanna suck his cock too?" You spit, taking her by surprise, so amazed by your rudeness she chose to leave the table and go somewhere else, Alex looks at you with a scowl, and you ignore him, taking another sip of your drink free of guilt.

"Why can you be talking to other people but I can't?" You shrug it off, sitting back in the worn-out leather settee, crossed leg, he waits for you to speak looking at you intensely, you thought you could handle this contest with ease, but it was only a matter of time until he got to you.

"You can do what you wanna do, be with who you want to be," You say to him, manipulating him, "I don't own you, Alex"

"So, why do you 'fink I chose to stay with you, Mardy?" He drawls, sitting closer to you, his knee touching yours, "Don't push me away, I meant what I said" He referred to the song he had sung for you with love and passion, and your heart skips a beat, and this feeling feels strange, his determination and the firmness of his words made your head spin, it draws you closer to him.

"... don't think you've got me all figured out" But he knew right where to start as the girl holding the coke came in, snorting another line and shaking her hair off her face, smiling and dancing, it gave her power.

"Want another line?" She asks you, you glance at Alex and smirk as you snort another line, you overestimated him and his intentions, his eyes lock with yours, he wasn't one to do these things, he may have had a few funny cigarettes but not as often. He was determined to feel the same way as you do.

"You wouldn't" You dare him, and that only makes him want to try it more. He sits at the edge of the leather settee, grabbing the card that's on the table, cutting the coke until it's thin enough to be consumed, he shapes a thin line of coke with the sharp edges of the red credit card and from his wallet, he grabs a bill and rolls it up with his index and thumb carefully. With the edge of the bill on his nostril and the other on the platter, he shuts his eyes tightly as he inhales the coke fast hoping it would make it more bearable because all he knew was that it stung like hell but inhaling it fast didn't change anything for him, his eyes flash before him, his brain quickly reacting with the thin line of coke, and he feels the burning sensation on his nostrils, sneezing as a reflex to try to expel the coke that was still stuck on the walls of his nose.

"Fuck!" His nose burns and stings, some coke falling on your upper thigh, you break into laughter, he was trying hard to impress you, that's what you thought, the girl laughs at him and your head feels dizzy, you feel an ache for him that's burning as he frowns.

"If you're gonna do it, at least do it right," He slams your hand away as you try to comfort him, he throws his straw away and sits closer to you, he leans down, and holds your knee tightly, his fingernails digging holes in your thighs, your hairs feel the same electricity that he felt in the car when you sat on him, shamelessly sitting open legged on his knee, his eyes penetrate yours as he snorts the remaining coke off your thigh, you feel something inside you turn on as you feel his nose on your inner thigh, his lips lightly grazing your knickers.

"I said goddamn" You lock in a stare, you wanted him, and you wanted him bad, your hand sneaks to the back of his head and he drags your mouth to his, his thumb lightly caressing your cheek as you both get carried away with the intensity of the kiss mixing with the drugs and the booze his touches feel like electric shocks, the fire runs all over your body as his hand caresses your thigh, his fingers digging on the edge of your denim skirt, his mouth tastes like sweet vodka and pop, his tongue inside your mouth tasting the flavors of your cherry cigarettes and Bacardi, sweet and sour, like lemon and honey, you roll your eyes as you feel him sigh inside your mouth, his hand making a fist with your skirt, he wanted more but he was still afraid to do more, he wanted to do it all in private, so he tested himself with you.

As he was pulling away from the kiss, you bit his lower lip pulling it harshly like a blister, and his cheeks were burning hot, his head was dizzy but he took your hand, he felt high, and his body was on the dancefloor with yours but his mind was focused on the neon lights on your face painting you all the colors, violet, blue and green as he sees your head spin in circles. His hands creep into your hips, and he slowly pulls you in, watching you dance with no care, no shame, you knew you made him mad with the way your silver eyeshadow made your eyes look like bright stars in the night sky. You both dance to Dr. Dre in a trance, slow, close, and sexy, he turns your back against his chest with a spin, he is getting greedy, and you feel it as your brains get stimulated with the white powder. Your hips go around in circles against his crotch as the music makes your body move in a way that gets him so uncomfortably hard, but he didn't feel it until you sighed against his ear, his hands grip your hips harder, lightly humping your ass against him, you giggle as you both sing.

You see it clearly in his eyes, he wants more, "Don't you wanna go somewhere else... tha knows, alone?" He suggests into your ear, you take a deep breath as you smell his sweet cologne, you wanted to be smothered in that scent, but it wasn't going to be easy for him.

"And do what?" He's dumbfounded, he doesn't know how to phrase how badly he wanted to fuck you now, "You think is that easy? That I'm just gonna fall to me knees over the rockstar?" Your lips were next to his ear, and his nose could smell the coconut shampoo on your silky hair, "No way babe" He sighed and closed his eyes just for a second, and then you disappeared in thin air, walking out the door. He tried to go after you, but he got surrounded by the band and some other man wearing dressing shirts and jeans with Stella's in their hands, he makes up dumb excuses to free himself from whatever they were trying to talk about.

As he goes out through the exit door, he finds you yet again with the same bouncer, this time with one of his hands on your cheek and the other on your hip, and he doesn't even reason out his next action, Alex had punched the bouncer in the jaw as hard as he could, he only manages to make his head turn, and as the man was about to return the punch with twice if the speed and twice of the strength you're able to push him away and knock him to the floor grabbing Alex's hand running down the streets like a cheetah, the cold wind blowing your hair and making your nose dry, you have so much energy you could do anything, move mountains, climb the tallest building. You are pure fuel, you turn to your left as you hear his laughter, he catches up to you, grabbing your hand tightly as you run down the street, looking for nothing but the feeling of your heart about to bust, for the pain of your lower abdomen.

Thankfully Alex had Andy's car keys, using the van as the perfect place to hide from the angry bounce with a purple jaw searching for you both, "He even has muscles in his muscles" You joke as you both peek through the windows, finally, you're able to breathe when he starts heading his way back where he came from. You both sigh relieved and crash on the leather car seats, you turn to look at Al and ask, "How do you feel Al?" 'Al' he smiles, it's been a long time since you called him like that.

"Still high" He sniffs his nose and looks at you, you're smiling, biting your bottom lip, the light of lamppost reflecting on your eyes through a crack in the windows, your eyes deep blue looking at him with hunger, "What about you?" He drawls.

"I left me head at the dance floor" You giggle, sitting closer to him, the knuckles of his hand touching yours, lips getting drawn to each other, his eyes staring intensely at yours.

"I wanted to keep dancin' with you... you've got some pretty nice moves" Your eyebrows jump as you give him a look that hypnotized him, he was taken by surprise as you threw your leg over his thighs, straddling him and rocking your hips against his just like the way you were dancing before, you teased him, still vigorously grinding your hips against him, singing bits of the song to his ear as you bite his earlobe, feeling his dick fighting his way on his jeans, "Like that?" You tease watching him watching you in awe.

"Uhu..." His heart was about to beat out from his chest, "Fuckin' hell Mardy, you're so hot" His so pissed about it, he's lost his mind, such a fool for you it makes him pull his hair.

"Just shut up and kiss me" The palm of your hand drives his head towards you, and you both kiss slowly, eagerly, lingeringly as your lips close around each other's mouth, feeling your body slowly grind against him, getting closer to the place where he ached for you. The roughness of his denim made juicy friction in your pussy, you kept losing control over yourself, dry humping Alex's crotch, his hands dragging your hips against him following your pace to show you how much he liked feeling you rubbing yourself against him. You were flushed, feeling hotter, his hands made into fists, clenching your skirt, slowly riding up to your waist, he was doubtful but as he watched you get so deep in it his hands grip your ass hard, and you whimpered into his ear, all the sounds coming out of your mouth made him get so hard in his jeans that his head was already leaking.

"I want you so badly" He groans into your ear, licking his lips and holding your head in place to whisper more into your ear, "You feel amazin' babe, make yerself feel good" You smile against his hair, taking a sniff of his soft brown hair, you nuzzled your nose into his neck, leaving kisses all over him. He began to feel self-conscious about the fact he was barely even moving, he wasn't moving a single finger now when at the party he was begging for your attention, he chose to not be like those other blocks, they didn't know what was before their eyes, they didn't know you, they didn't know how much beauty there is inside of you, your black beauty.

His hand on your ass crawls to your lower back, caressing your skin with his thumb, his hands crawling up your back like spiders and snakes, and he leaves his hand on the clasp of your bra, your eyes illuminating, "Can I?" He whispers, his voice shaky and his eyes sparkling, hopelessly looking for an answer in your eyes.

"If you want to... yeah, you don't have to ask me Al" You peck Alex's lips, sweetly, the heat wasn't the only thing that drove you to be all over him.

"How far do you wanna take this, Mardy?" His voice sounds serious, both panting for air but if he were to pass out, he would love to pass out feeling your heavenly lips. Alex saw you for once stay quiet, with no answers, no smart comeback, your eyes shine, and your heart feels that vague feeling of warmth, and tenderness. For once, you doubted having sex with a hot fellow outside of a pub, you didn't feel anything, not for long, you feared Alex would change that, you were able to fight the feeling though, you convinced yourself he wouldn't.

"Take my clothes off" You command, Alex following like a puppy with his swollen lips in a pout and his bright eyes, his fingers running down your warm skin with care, pulling off your shirt from your head, you stand on your knees, his lips sigh against your skin, his hands caressing your lower back gently, running shivers all over your body as he kisses your belly slowly, wet, and needy, his tongue running through your belly butting ring, his hands quickly sliding down your skirt and throwing it to the ground, leaving you in your tights and brazier. Your eyes meet, his eyes shining so brightly at the look of yours, he saw you as a miracle for all men, as an angel as you exposed your body to him, and you couldn't handle that, "Don't look at me like that, I know you wanna fuck me" He's a man, he only loves these things because he loves to see them break, he would forget about you the next day and nothing could stop you from thinking this way, even if it hurt you.

He was in a daze as if you had kicked him hard in the head, your body on his, warm and sugary, addictive, "And so fuckin' bad" His mouth devours your lips, his tongue slipping to the back of your throat, you gag but he keeps his tongue inside your mouth, his hands grip your bottom tightly, continuing with the same pace as before. He takes out his shirt in the blink of an eye, barely giving you time to grab air as you asphyxiate in his kisses pressing you closer to him as he grinds your hips harder against the bulge in his denim jeans hearing you moaning louder into his mouth. The tiny kisses he gave you in your belly still lingering in your head, the song and his facial expressions as he moaned into the microphone engraved in your head, his touch so rough but with care, his eyes watching you like a goddess, you look through the window, and watch yourself climax with just a little bit of friction. He feels rewarded, he feels your body relaxing, and you're satisfied but it isn't enough.

Your hands run through his bristly skin, his chest dripping sweat, his abs marked with thin lines, and his v-line drives you to kneel, and unclamp the buttons of his jeans, "You got me off, now's your turn, is that ok?" You teased, making Alex roll his eyes with a smile, you caress his cock with your fingers, just to let it get harder than he was, he looks at you with lust, as you cheekily smile at the sight and feel of the size of his cock, "Fuck" He came in a full-size package.

"Come here" And baffled you were, how was he able to carry that in his jeans? His tip leaking cum already, red almost turning purple, swollen and hot, fat. You couldn't wait any longer for him, you obliged and settled on his lap. His hands caressed your body with care, he could give you true affection, "I like you Mardy... I really fuckin' do, I can't get you out of me head, out of my veins or me brain... every time I see you-"

"Don't say anything else, Alex, please" It was the first time you begged for anything in your life, because if what he was saying was true, his words made your heart beat fast, and it felt as if you were about to die.

"Don't do that Mardy, don't do this to me either... I'm in for the long run, don't matter how long I have to wait" In his eyes, you saw the raw definition of honesty, he wasn't looking anywhere else, wasn't hesitating, he was being truthful.

"Don't make promises that you can't keep Alex, nothing lasts forever" Your words don't affect him anymore, his mind was hazy with love and true desire for more than just sex, for more than just your body, he wanted your heart, a connection he couldn't get from anyone else but you.

"I never do," He says, "So just kiss me, and forget about anything else" His lips peck yours hard, needy, angsty, and his hands grip your body tightly, pulling your tights off your body, breaking them in the process and he feels your nude skin with his rough hands. He feels struck by lightning as he pushes your panties to the side and enters you slowly, your nails dig into his skin, and you gasp into his mouth feeling your whole body get loose, and your mind in a daze, just enjoying the feeling of his body so close to yours.

Your hips rock against his, your whole body pressed against him, his hands kneading your tits, pinching them and kissing them as you ride his cock, his hands pull your body closer to him, not for one second does he want you to be far from him, you couldn't hold in your moaning, his sighs and moans put you in a spell, his magical eyes sparkled into yours as he watched his whole dick disappear in between your legs.

"Ah! Shit" His hands were on your hips, they rock your body against him, Alex's mouth fell agape as you kept riding his cock eagerly, his hands gripping your ass tightly.

"Do you like that, baby? Do I make you feel good?" His eyes roll back, gulping and moaning against your lips, "Tell me Alex" Your hands around his neck, as you ride him slowly, tentatively.

"You do Mardy... you're so wet... t-tight" Your tongue inside his mouth as you kiss him, his cheeks warm and his breathing stuck in his throat.

"I bet you feel accomplished...." He blushes harder, being caught red-handed, "I've seen you Alex... looking at me, searching to see what color were me knickers, or what bra was I wearing"

"Can't blame it, you always know how to rock me world" You lean over to his ear, your motion decreases into barely any, and you lick your lips before you whisper.

"Imagine how hard can we rock your bed" He blushes as you began to jump on his cock, your tits jiggling and he's hypnotized by them, by the way you scream, and how your pussy feels. He's whimpering at just the sight of you. He grabs your waist tighter and makes you jump faster on his cock, feeling you get closer to an end, his thumb, flicking your clit until your burst all over him, he pants as your head falls on his shoulder.

"You love to tease me, don't you?" He leans over you, making you lie down on the seats, his hands grab your thighs wrapping them around his hips, you always liked how he always had to caress your skin, he couldn't help it, he loved feeling your body on his.

"Can't say I don't" You whisper to his lips, his hips increase his thrusts gradually rocking your bodies together, watching your collarbones sink as you try to catch your breath.

"You fuckin' cunt" You gasp as he buries himself inside you, "You've been teasing me all of this fucking time?" You sigh as his fingers tangle in your hair, his hips slowly thrusting inside you, it feels like ecstasy, all over your body, his eyes turning into darkness and lust.

"I always do" You giggled, he grabbed your wrists tightly, pinning them above your head, you were caught off guard, suddenly feeling like you had no control over him, he had control over you and you were enjoying it, watching him get affected by simple words, deep confessions, this night had changed your view on Alex for the better.

You stared into his coffee brown eyes, the shy boy that you once knew was all a costume, what he is beneath that, is what you like, "I'm gunna fuck your brains out" His cock feels so good inside you, feels thick, feels right, the friction and the pain of the stretching. It all feels too fucking good, you kept your eyes wide open as you both watch each other's faces, in your eyes there was a heavy secret, one that Alex was breaking into, you were a sucker for him, all you wanted was for him to fight more for you. And finally, he had taken power over your body.

He was balls deep inside you, watching you get aroused by the sounds of his moves, he kept thrusting inside you so fast that the car was rocking back and forward. He let go of your wrist to pin them both together with his other hand, his hand pressed against the window. He sends you spiraling down to a whole other world, you've never felt such way, his hands fall to your neck and you're finally able to dig your fingers into his back, you were a loud mess, out of control. He was mercilessly fucking your pussy, so deliciously buried inside you.

"Al... I can't hold it in," You screamed as he slammed himself back inside you, your fingers rubbing your clit so fast, your walls tightening, he groans, his grip on your neck tighter.

"Yeh fuckin' dirty cunt," He flips your leg to the side so he could have a better look at your bum, he was feeling aroused at the sound of your sss slapping against his hips, he took advantage to slap it hard making you moan harder, Andy's van rocking to Alex's pace, squeaking, bouncing.

Your vision was foggy. Alex enjoyed watching your eyeballs turn white and your mouth wide open, he couldn't take it any longer as well. He got so carried away with the sight of your body, your nipples hard, your pink lips, and your red raw pussy, your heat feels so good, he takes one last feel of it, making sure you came one last time before he pulled out fast enough to spill his cum on your belly, your eyes widened at the sight of his pink tip squirting out his cum as he fucks his fist, you saw his face in a frown, his forehead dripping in a cold sweat, and a last sigh of satisfaction falls from his mouth to yours.

"Fuckin' hell" You whisper, grabbing his attention, his hand lets go of the window to caress your hair and pour all of his love on a kiss to your lips, it feels like flowers blooming under that warm sun, it feels like hot cocoa on a cold December day, it feels like firecrackers, it feels like new year's countdown, it feels like it was meant to be, and for once, you let go and feel the love on his lips for a minute or two, you give it back with the same intensity, and he feels no longer frightened about anything. If he had you, he didn't need anything else.

"Mardy, I meant everything I said" You sigh.

"About me being a dirty fucking cunt?" You both crack in laughter, his arms pull you to his chest, and you lay on his arms like a baby, you let him hold you like that because you miss being held like this, you've never experienced anything like this, but deep down you know, love wears out, it dies, flowers rot, the firecrackers are thrown to the streets, summer ends, hot coco burns your tongue, and he will leave you soon. Alex sees you so deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?" He says, too worried about everything, now that reality had settled in.

"I wonder how long it will take before you leave me" His eyes filled with sadness, he couldn't believe how you still thought about that, "We shagged, we did what we did, I'm just counting the seconds before we get out of this car and you forget about me" You move away from him, taking your clothes and warmth from the floor and quickly dressing yourself up again. He was still in one piece. He looks at you with sullen eyes.

"It meant nothing to you?" He says with sadness pulling up his clothes.

"What is it supposed to mean, Alex?" He felt his heart being stung, a knife being twisted to his core.

"That I love you," He says with no remorse, you pull away, quickly getting out of the car, and he follows you at a fast pace as you begin to walk around the dark, he leaves everything else behind, "Where are you going, Mardy?!"

You feel like puking out your heart, you were looking for a place to hide, anywhere, any place at all. You looked and you looked as he kept screaming your name, "Why are you running away from me?!" He grabs your arm tightly.

"Don't you get it?" You snatch back your arm, "Why did you say that to me? How could you say that to me?" Your voice cracks as you look at him in the eyes, he slowly steps closer to you, how could he break something that was already torn to pieces?

"Because I do... because I truly do love you-"

"You don't mean that" He takes a step closer to you very slowly, watching your eyes water, and you pull away from him step by step, your untied shoelaces make you fall to the ground in a very stupid way that you crack into crying laughter for how pathetic you feel.

Alex sees your true colors for once, but he isn't afraid of what he sees, he's in love with what he sees, and so in love that it hurts so deeply to see you in such a state, "Love..."

"Don't call me like that" You say in between laughter, "I'm not your mardy, not your babe, I'm not anything to you" You spit.

He sits on the ground next to you, "You're everything to me" You roll your eyes, feeling your throat tighten, "I love you, I told you I do, it's all I've ever felt-"

You answer back, "I'm not everything, I'm just a catchy chorus in a 2-minute song Alex" He sits closer to you, watching you get out from your skirt your cigarette, and your lighter, feeling the warm embrace of the tabaco in the air.

"You're in every song I write, Mardy, I did one specifically called Mardy Bum... so you might understand how I feel about you," You look at him with an eyebrow up.

"Mardy Bum?" He smiles and nods his head, "That's a more personal one" You say with no emotion, you look into his eyes, and you see the truth in them, but you're too scared of giving into it, to give into him.

"And there are many more to come, but you're no 2-minute song and a catchy chorus, you're more than that, you've always been more than that" Alex's words couldn't have cut any deeper than any blade or any drug you've ever taken.

"There's so much you don't know about me" He grabs your hand, the one with the thick bracelet, and he holds it so tightly and kisses the back of your hand with care.

"I wanna know everything," His fingertips run through your braids, and your head falls to his shoulder.

"And what if you find out everything and you think I'm too fucked up? Why don't you just go with a fitter and healthier girl, huh?" His fingertips grace your chin, and he looks at you with his deep brown eyes and pecks your lips.

"Because they're not you" You stare into his eyes and you kiss him with the same love he did inside the car, you hadn't noticed how you were out of there, and he still followed you, he has always followed you.

There was a moment of pure silence after the kiss, you lay on his lap, curled up into a ball, feeling his soft hands caress your hair, you feel everything you once felt a long time ago, it's vague, but he makes it come alive again as he hums a sweet melody, "Well now then Mardy bum.... I've seen you frown and it's like looking down the barrel of a gun and it goes off... and out come all these words... oh, there's a very pleasant side of you, a side I much prefer, it's one that... laugh and jokes around... remember cuddles in the kitchen... yeah, to get things off the ground and it's up, up and away... oh, buts it's right hard to remember on a day like today when you're... argumentative and you've got that face on"

You pick yourself up from his lap to look at him with your glassy eyes, tears rolling down your cheeks, "Can I hear the full song when we get back home?" His thumb grazes your cheek, whipping down your tear.

"Of course, my love" His arm around your neck, kissing the back of your head, he turns you to lay your head on his arm.

"Do you really want to be with me, Al?" He smiles as he sees a door opening for him, he sighs feeling relieved you weren't arguing away with him.

"Yes, and so badly" He smiles, and giggles, "You won't get me to go, not anywhere" It feels good to hear that assurance from his lips, "Not anywhere"

"Good, because... I think... I love you too" Maybe it was too quick to say it but you didn't care, he sounded promising, and what else have you got to lose anyway? Maybe it was time for you to take a chance, let faith lead you blindly, maybe it was time to give in to him.

"Oh fuckin' hell, I was so scared you wouldn't say it back" You laugh, Alex enjoying the sound of your rich laughter, feeling excited about the thought of his clumsy words being the reason of that smile.

On the way back home, you were sat on Alex's lap willingly, your head on his shoulder, his arms around your waist, Maggy and Matt were stunned at the sight of you and Alex, you could feel their gaze on you as Alex covered your cold body with his denim jacket. Everyone tried to leash the lioness inside you, but he took a different approach that made him worthy of sticking around in your lonely cage.

A/N

Hi, missed me?

Happy Valentine's ! <3

Still busy studying for my SATs :c

#alex turner #arctic monkeys #alex turner smut #arctic monkeys one shots #alex turner fan fic #matt helders #alex turner one shots #jamie cook #nick omalley #alex turner fan fiction #alex turner x reader #teenage alex turner #beneath the boardwalk #alex turner x you #fontaines dc

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fallingdownhell · 1 year

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hello! i was wondering if i could request a poly cyno x reader x tighnari where the reader is going through a tough time and is kinda burnt out. maybe where she tries to brush it off, but the boys catch on pretty quickly and then they comfort her? anyways, i hope you have a good day/night!!

-🌹 anon

Hey! Of course you can!<3

I don't have anything against poly ships, I do in fact have a few of them myself. Have I ever written for one? No, but I sure want to. Hope it turned out okay.

Thank you so much for your request, 🌹 anon

Content: poly relationship; written with fem!reader in mind, but can also be read as gn!reader; mentions of mental illness; self doubt; burnout; much comfort from the bois

Word count: 1,8k

Hope you enjoy reading<3

You were tired.

Your days studying in the Academya left you more drained than anything else lately. Although you were a good student, diligent and often praised by your professors, that didn't change anything about the heavy workload you put on your shoulders.

The days seemed to last for an eternity, while the nights were over far too quickly. You never felt like you got any quality rest.

While one of your boyfriends, Cyno, kept a close eye on you and made sure you took care of yourself, the other suffered extremely from the lack of contact with you.

You haven't really seen Tighnari for a few weeks, except for his one day visits to Sumeru city when he was in need for new materials. He would make it a point to visit you, but you were still so focused on your research, that you didn't spend much time with him.

Same with Cyno. While he was often times with you in the city, he rarely got to see you anymore either. Well, that's wrong. He did see you, but was the time spend with him? No, it wasn't.

You kept telling youself and your boyfriends that this was only a temporary issue, that you would soon be done studying in the Academya. Then you could finally give them all the attention that you have deprived them off until now.

And yet, two months after your last conversation with your boyfriends about this issue, there were still no signs of it getting better anytime soon.

You were working yourself to the bone, day in and day out. So it was only a matter of time until the stress would get to your head, poisining your thoughts.

You began to think about all the times you neglected Cyno and Tighnari, how you didn't even keep in touch with Tighnari back at Gandharva Ville via letters. He probably only heard about you through Cyno, meaning he had to rely on his words.

You couldn't help but feel bad, ashamed and guilty.

Your head then began constructing this idea... this terrible idea of your boyfriends. About how they started to resent you. For neglecting them, for focusing on your studies instead of them.

Thoughts began to bloom within you. Hlw they probably hated the idea of seeing you again, hating you in general.

Your hand that had been writing on a paper until a few moments ago, began to shake as silent tears began rolling down your cheeks.

You wanted to believe that it wasn't true. That this was just the stress getting to you...

But how could you, when it all made perfect sense? Of course they would feel this way.

Now that you thought about it.. you haven't seen Cyno at all the last two days. He usually came by every day, even just to make sure that you were taking care of yourself.

But... nothing. He didn't show up at all.

And as you realised that, the thoughts only became louder and more convincing.

'They already started separating from you, silently..'

'They feel they're not important to you...'

'You are no good partner to them..'

Those thoughts began to flood your mind as you set down your pen, tears continuing to fall down your face. That night, you cried yourself to sleep, as these negative thoughts kept pestering your mind.

...

The next day, Cyno saw you walking within the walls of the Academya and immediatly noticed that something was wrong with you.

He saw your red, swollen eyes and knew that you must have cried yesterday. The reason for it he might nit know, but that didn't matter. It was obvious that you needed him right now.

So, he talked to the Matras, gave them their orders and then set out to find you again.

He found you in a quiet corner in the house of Daena, reading some kind of book related to your studies, while you occaisonally sniffled and rubbed your swollen eyes.

Cyno approached you quietly, sitting down on a chair across from yours, his eyes fixed on your exhausted form.

You jumped a little, not expecting any form of company to disturb you. Once you recognise Cyno, you relqx a bit, but quickly tense up again, remembering what had happened the day before.

Cyno, of course, noticed that shift in behaviour from you.

"What's going on?", he immediatly asked, not wasting time with chit chat.

"What... do you mean, exactly?", you answered, trying to deflect, making it seem like everything was fine. Which, you failed. Because even if Cyno wasn't the best with feelings, he was perceptive.

"You cried. I can see that with only one look at you. So.. what happened?"

At his words, you wished to just slap yourself as you realised that you forgot to put on makeup, so that you could hide the obvious bags under your eyes. But that would have been only one part of the problem, anyway.

"Oh.. nothing much. Just... stressed."

"Stress? That's all?"

You nodded, not being able to look your boyfriend in the eyes. You knew that if you did, he would immediatly figure you out. Little did you know that by avoiding his gaze, he worried even more.

"You're hiding something from me.", he concluded. You sighed, but didn't give him anything further to work with for a few minutes. Then..

"It's just.. the stress is getting to me. To my head, exactly. It's been... a lot.", you told him in a low voice, not wanting to say anything more.

To your surprise, the next thing Cyno did was to just silently, without another word, stand up from the table and walk away. You didn't see were he was heading, but that didn't matter to you.

All your head needed, was right there. Your boyfriend walking away from you when you would have needed him the most.

You could feel the tears welling up again in your eyes, but this time, you forced them to stay in, not wanting to cry in broad daylight in front of your fellow students. But going home wasn't an option in your head either, so you tried to swallow the hurt and continued your studies.

Little did you know though, that Cyno was walking straight to the Acting Grand Sages office, not bothering in the slightest that he had just interrupted a seemingly important conversation with some other sages.

Alhaitham looked at him with his usual stoic expression, while Cyno explained the situation to him, requesting for a two weeks vacation for you amd himself.

After a few seconds of considering, Alhaitham signed it off, handing the documents to Cyno, whishing him the best of luck. Having achieved what he came for, Cyno headed back down to were you were seated before, glad that you were still in the same spot.

He approached again, but this time, you noticed him. And he wore an even more determined expression than he usually did.

"Cyno? What are you-!"

You got interrupted as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of your seat and after him, waking his way towarsa the exit of the house of Daena.

"Hey, stop. Where are we going?", you asked, weakly struggling against his grip.

"Visiting Tighnari.", he said.

"Wha.. but I can't. I still have to-"

"You don't have to do anything. I requested some time off for the both of us, and Alhaitham approved of it. We are going on a vacation, because Archons know that you need that, (name)."

After he said that, you were in no place to argue against him anymore. Your resistance against him grew less and less, until you completely stopped. He, in return, loosened his grip on your wrist a bit, but still held you tightly to him.

He made a stop at his and your house, to gather some stuff, mostly clothing, before you made your way to Gandharva Ville together.

The walk was mostly quiet as you were trying to figure out what to make of it. You were sure that they must hate you at this point, yet Cyno's actions clearly indicated the total opposite.

As you arrived at the base of the forest watchers, Cyno spotted Tighnari in front of his hut, talking to some other forest rangers.

The fox immediatly picked up on the scent of his two lovers as soons as you two entered the village. But he also instantly knew that something was up. He could sense that you were upset about something amd Cyno was worried about you.

He made quick work of the matter with the forest ranger, and as they began to depart, Tighnari already spotted you and Cyno walking towards him, so he waited there for you to.

"Hey..", he said in a soft tone, immediatly pulling you in for a long and loving hug as soon as you were close enough.

"...", you didn't say anything as you hugged him back tightly, which confirmed his assumption that something was definitely not right.

He looked over at Cyno, who motioned for them to go inside, which Tighnari gently coaxed you to do so with them.

"Do you want to talk about it?", Tighnari asked as you all were inside. But you didn't feel ready for that just yet, so you just shook your head slightly, gaze fixed on the ground.

"All right then..", you heard from the fox and the next moment, you were suddenly in the air, as your lover had picked you up and walked over to the bed.

The next moment, you were placed on the soft mattress, ine of your boyfriends on each of your side. You were completely surrounded by them, and suddenly, you felt safe.

Like a heavy weight has finally been lifted from your shoulder, and you could feel a single tear run down your face again.

Tighnari, who you were facing, brought one hand up to your face, softly carressing your cheek. He slowly leaned in, kissing you on the forehead.

In the meantime, Cyno, who was laying behind you, slid on hand down your arm, intertwining his fingers with yours once he reached your hand, as he slowly started to place light kisses on your neck.

In this moment, you felt so loved and cared for by your two boyfriends, you had no idea how you could have ever doubted their love for you.

You couldn't controll your tears anymore and you just let everything out that you had been holding back.

For the next few hours, you three just laid there, cuddling with each other, while Cyno and Tighnari whispered sweet and loving words to you.

You may not be able to talk about your troubles quite yet, but you knew that with them by your side, everything would turn out okay in the end.

Because you had each other. And now there was no doubt in your mind anymore..

... they did love you with all their heart.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact comfort #genshin comfort #genshin impact ship #tighnari x cyno #tighnari x reader #cyno x reader #genshin impact tighnari #genshin impact cyno

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jgracie · 19 days

Text

WHEN YOU’RE CLOSE TO ME

masterlist | rules

‘cause you are my medicine, when you're close to me

pairing travis stoll x demeter!reader

warnings none!

on the radio . . . on melancholy hill (gorillaz)

an i had to put u guys on my vision !!!!!!!!! reader is a daughter of demeter… i wonder why ?! this is short but i just had to write something other than percy for a second LOL also when they're sitting at the cafe tgt i imagine the ‘on melancholy hill’ trend on tt hence the song choice

you’re so pretty. too pretty. ever since your little quest - which consisted of retrieving his father’s caduceus for him - ended, your face was all travis could think about.

whenever he closed his eyes, he saw your sparkling eyes and bright smile, as well as the flowers that couldn’t help but bloom all over you, your excitement causing your powers to go haywire.

being one of the few demigods who’d been living at camp since birth, you were dying to see the outside world for as long as you could remember. so, when you heard travis needed a second for his quest, you begged him to choose you, and despite many of his siblings wanting to go too, he did choose you, unable to say no to your cute face

with you, new york, a city travis knew like the back of his hand, went from being mundane to a city from one of those fantasy books the athena kids were obsessed with. you marveled at everything around you, taking a million different stops and trying a million different food and drink items.

soon enough, you passed by a cafe that you just had to have a drink at, and who was travis to deny you? his father could wait, he was immortal after all. so, the two of you made your way to a table in the corner and ordered drinks. travis got a coffee you insisted was too bitter, while you got matcha, which he thought tasted awfully similar to grass.

during your time at the cafe, you made small talk every once-in-a-while, but mostly just basked in the comforting silence that blanketed the two of you. you rarely ever interacted at camp, but for some reason, it felt right for travis to be alone with you.

eventually, you did find the caduceus and returned it to hermes, who was eternally grateful and offered to fly you to barcelona for a one day getaway, but that didn't matter. all travis can remember about that quest is your presence. the longer travis knew you for, the more y/n-shaped blossoms bloomed in his heart.

which is why he did what he did. he knew very well that the demeter cabin sold bouquets to both demigods at camp and flower shops outside of camp, and after some sneaking around, he was able to find out that you worked with your siblings on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays.

today happened to be a saturday. travis sent a request for a bouquet today, knowing you'd be the one to put it together. after borrowing a book from michael in the athena cabin, he was able to choose the flowers he wanted for this very special bouquet: pink bluebells, carnations, alyssums and camellias.

"travis! i have your bouquet!" you said, breaking his train of thought, "i knocked three times but no one answered so i let myself in, i hope you don't mind," in your hands was the bouquet, tied at the stems with a pink ribbon.

taking it from you, travis took a good look at it. naturally, it was perfect. he didn't expect any less from you, "thank you, y/n, but i need this delivered. it isn't for me," he said, praying his plan worked.

"oh, okay, who's it for? i'll get katie to deliver it now," you said, a warm smile tugging at your lips.

"it's alright, i'll do it myself. she isn't too far from here," he said, before handing you the bouquet, a blush coating his freckles. maybe he should've confessed in a more traditional way.

you looked down at the bouquet, confused, then up at him, and understood. violets bloomed in your hair as you said, "travis, this is really sweet of you. no one's ever done something this nice for me!" your smile got wider then, and travis was close to swearing on the styx to get you a bouquet of flowers every day if it meant you'd smile at him like that

a sudden wave of boldness washed over travis, and he knew what he had to do. just as you were about to leave, he said, "since i'm so sweet, would you wanna go explore new york with me again? no quests this time."

you looked over your shoulder and back at him, and at that moment, travis knew he wouldn't need the infirmary as long as you were his. you were better than any medicine the apollo cabin could prescribe him

"sure, travis, but only if we can take your dad up on his offer afterwards!"

#travis stoll x reader #travis stoll x you #travis stoll x y/n #travis stoll #travis stoll x fem reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson x reader #pjo x reader #travis stoll fanfic #pjo fanfic #percy jackson fanfic #travis stoll drabble #travis stoll x demeter reader #demeter pjo #children of demeter #daughter of demeter #cynwrites

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voidpetrova · 8 months

Text

hanahaki — damon salvatore x reader

☄. *. ⋆

content warnings and genre: swearing, blood, death, diseases, unrequited love — angst

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

synopsis: 花吐き病, a disease that only a one-sided fairy tale can cause, because when damon won't give you the flowers, you grow them yourself

✧.*

the air was infused with the scent of blooming flowers, a fragile beauty that masked the impending tragedy that lay hidden within. there was once a time where roses that grew in your garden held a special place in your heart, and nowhere else. you relished in the moments you spent kneeling down in order to catch a sweet whiff of the devastatingly beautiful scent. when winter came, when they began to wither, you couldn't help but feel sorrowful.

you stood at the periphery of the salvatore mansion, your gaze fixated on the enchanting sight before you. damon salvatore, the enigmatic vampire with eyes like liquid darkness, moved with a grace that seemed to defy time itself. he was entwined in a dance of whispered words and stolen glances with elena gilbert, the woman who held his heart captive.

your heart fluttered with an ache you had grown accustomed to, a yearning that seemed to grow stronger with every stolen glance you cast upon the two lovers. damon's laughter, rich and intoxicating, echoed through the air, and you couldn't help but drink in every note as if it were a rare elixir. his devotion to Eeena was palpable, a force that bound them together with an unbreakable thread of destiny.

“they look great together, don't they?” you turned to see stefan by your side, smiling because he knew how much their happiness meant to him. you so desperately forced a smile, ignoring the way your breathing grew heavy as your gaze softened. “yeah,” you murmured, voice a mere whisper. “yeah, they do.”

as the days turned into weeks, your affection for damon remained a silent symphony, playing softly in the chambers of your heart. you watched him from the shadows, your presence unnoticed amidst the bustling chaos. you reveled in the mere seconds he spared for you, fleeting interactions that left an indelible mark on your soul.

the town itself seemed to mirror your emotions, as flowers of all kinds bloomed in profusion. yet, within you, a seed of despair took root, its tendrils creeping through your heart like delicate vines. unbeknownst to you, this burgeoning ache was mirrored within your very breath, as each inhale carried a hidden poison that would soon become an integral part of your existence.

it was a cool evening, the stars above twinkling like diamonds against the inky sky, when you dared to venture closer to the epicenter of your yearning. a masquerade ball had enveloped the salvatore mansion in an air of mystique, drawing guests from all corners of mystic falls.

you watched from the shadows, your masked visage concealing the hope and pain that swirled within your eyes. damon and elena moved through the crowd, a picture of grace and desire. their dance was one of undeniable connection, leaving you feeling as if you were but a specter in their world.

as the night waned and the moon hung low, you found yourself on the outskirts of the mansion's sprawling garden. moonflowers, their petals luminescent in the silvery light, bloomed in abundance. wiih a sigh, you plucked a single bloom, its delicate fragrance filling the air around you.

“gorgeous, aren't they?” you met stefan's eyes once more, his gaze nearly pitiful. he was aware of how much you yearned for his brother—how much you craved to be loved the way he loved elena. you turned back to the bundle of flowers, eyes glowing with admiration. “i love them,” you admitted, all the while knowing you had a different confession in mind. him. you loved damon.

stefan's lips curved in a gentle smile, though there was a tinge of sadness hidden behind his eyes. “moonflowers,” he murmured, his voice carrying a soft, almost melancholic quality. “they're said to bloom only at night, under the moon's tender gaze. but their beauty comes with a price.” he extended a hand to touch one of the petals, his fingers brushing against the delicate surface with a reverence that spoke of deeper understanding. you followed his lead, letting your fingers graze the petals of the moonflower. the texture was velvety, cool against your touch, and you couldn't help but think that it mirrored the complexity of the emotions swirling within you. “what price?” you asked, your voice hushed as if afraid to break the fragile tranquility that surrounded you both.

stefan's gaze turned distant, as if he were peering into a past filled with memories too painful to bear. “legend has it that moonflowers take their beauty from those who admire them,” he explained, his words carrying a weight you could sense even before he continued. “they absorb the heartache, the unspoken longing, and the unrequited love of those who stand in their presence.”

the truth of his words settled over you like a shroud, chilling and numbing. you stared at the moonflowers with a mixture of awe and trepidation, as if they held the key to your very existence. “do they take away the pain?” you whispered, your gaze flickering up to meet stefan's.

hia expression held a mixture of sympathy and empathy. “no,” he said softly, his voice carrying the weight of his own experience. “they bear witness to it. they hold it, absorb it, until the pain becomes an intrinsic part of them. but they cannot erase it.”

a silence hung between you, heavy with unspoken truths. you turned your gaze back to the moonflowers, their luminescence seeming to shimmer with an otherworldly light. it was as if they understood the depth of your emotions, as if they were waiting to cradle your secrets and carry them into the night.

“you're not alone in this,” stefan said, his voice a gentle reassurance. “i know what you feel.” your heart clenched at his words, a mixture of gratitude and sorrow flooding your senses. in that moment, you understood that the pain you carried was not a solitary burden—it was shared by another who knew the taste of unrequited love all too well. you knew he loved elena more than damon ever could.

as the days turned into weeks, the symptoms of your hidden affliction began to manifest. A persistent cough, dry and unyielding, echoed through the quiet chambers of your room. each breath you took seemed to carry a weight, as if the air itself had turned into a tangible reminder of your unspoken desires.

days turned into nights, and the moonflowers in the garden continued to wilt, their petals falling like tears that went unnoticed by all but you. the nights grew colder, the air carrying a heaviness that matched the weight on your chest. your coughs became more frequent, each one a reminder that the poison of unrequited love had taken root within you. the moonflowers had all but withered, their once-beautiful petals scattered like confetti of heartache upon the ground.

in the final throes of your affliction, you sought solace in the warmth of your bathtub, the water soothing against your skin. moonflower petals floated upon the surface, their delicate fragrance a reminder of the pain you had carried, the love you had hidden, and the sacrifices you had made. the coughing had grown more frequent, each fit more violent than the last, leaving you weak and trembling.

blood stained the water, a macabre dance of crimson against the white porcelain. each cough was a harsh reminder of the poison that had taken hold, the unspoken emotions that had finally found their voice in the form of bloodied petals.

as you leaned against the edge of the bathtub, your breathing labored and your body weakened, you felt a strange sense of peace settle over you. the moonlight filtered through the window, casting an ethereal glow upon your skin. you closed your eyes, your consciousness drifting between the realms of pain and serenity.

in the quiet of that moment, you felt a gentle pressure against your hand—a touch so light, it could have been a figment of your imagination. but then it came again, more persistent, and you slowly turned your head to see stefan sitting by your side. his gaze was filled with a mixture of sorrow and acceptance, a silent acknowledgment of the journey you had shared.

“i'm here,” he murmured, his voice a soft reassurance.

you managed a weak smile, your fingers curling around his hand. It was cold, a reflection of the reality that was slowly dawning upon you. “stefan,” you whispered, the word a fragile breath that carried the weight of a thousand unspoken sentiments.

his eyes met yours, and in their depths, you saw the depth of his affection, the extent of his understanding. he was not just a witness to your pain; he was a bearer of it, a partner in the silent symphony of longing that had played out in the shadows.

as your vision began to blur and the world around you faded, you felt a strange sense of release. the pain that had plagued you for so long was no longer yours to bear. and as you closed your eyes for the last time, you felt a single tear slide down your cheek, mingling with the petals that still clung to your skin.

when consciousness finally left you, stefan held your cold hand, his touch a poignant reminder of the connection you had shared. he stayed by your side, his gaze fixed upon your face, as if willing you to find peace in the afterlife.

but just as the sun began to paint the sky with the first hues of dawn, a harsh cough erupted from stefan's lips. he doubled over, a hand pressed to his mouth, and as he coughed, delicate petals of moonflowers tumbled to the ground—a mirror of the pain he had absorbed, the love he had carried, and the sacrifice he had made for you.

the ache that had bloomed within his heart was the same ache you had carried for his brother, and now, it was the ache that bound him to you in death.

#tvd #the vampire diaries angst #the vampire diaries #damon salvatore #damon salvatore x reader #damon salvatore angst #stefan salvatore x reader angst #stefan salavatore x reader #stefan salvatore angst #stefan x reader #stefan salvatore oneshot #stefan salvatore

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sanguineterrain · 2 years

Text

Sweeter Than This

Summary: you and Steve take the gang apple picking.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: heavy dose of pining, kissing, the kids being little shits (affectionate), Steve being a dork!!! <3

Notes: first time writing for Steve Harrington! hope you guys enjoy this one. A reminder that Steve and the Reader are over 18 and that I imagine this taking place after S3.

divider by the wonderful s-tarksintern <3

The radio on your desk crackled briefly before a tinny voice rang through.

"Hello? Y/N?"

You pulled down your sweater, jumping up from the bed to answer. "Steve? Since when do you have a walkie?"

"Oh, I, uh, don't. This is Dustin's… we're, um, almost there. Nancy and Robin couldn't make it, so—"

Another voice interrupted. "Hi, Y/N!"

You smiled. "Hey, Dustin. Excited to go apple picking?"

"We all are!" he confirmed. "And my mom—keep your pants on, dude, you can talk to your girlfriend in a minute."

"She's not my girlfriend!" was Steve's instant reply, and you felt heat bloom up the back of your neck.

"Anyways," continued Dustin. "My mom said I could get a bag of their cider donuts. Isn't that awesome?"

"That's so awesome," you replied, genuinely excited. "I can't wait."

"Okay, come down! We're here."

You pushed the antenna down and grabbed your purse, flying down the stairs. You paused by the door, giving yourself a final onceover in the mirror before heading out. Steve was outside, leaned on the passenger side door of what looked to be the Wheelers' station wagon. He straightened as soon as you walked down the path. Dustin was next to him, waving.

"You can sit up front, Y/N," Dustin informed you cheerily.

"But won't you have to sit in the hatch?"

"It's cool," he shrugged, cheeks puffed into a grin. "You guys should sit up front together."

"O…kay. Thanks." You turned to Steve, crisp fall air sliding through your lungs. "Hi, Steve. Rockin' the Wagon, huh?"

"Unfortunately," he grimaced. "Nancy and Robin bailed, so Nance let me borrow her car to fit everybody."

"Bailed?" you wondered. “That doesn’t sound like them.”

He shook his head. "They both simultaneously came down with the flu, somehow. I think they're full of shit, personally, because Nance is religious when it comes to getting her vitamin C. She has, like, three oranges a day as soon as the temperature drops below sixty."

"Come on, all the good apples will be gone at this rate!" came from inside the car.

Steve rolled his eyes. You laughed, nudging his shoulder.

"Onwards, Harrington. The children have spoken."

"The children are brats."

But he got into the car. You did the same, turning your head to check that everyone was here. Max, Lucas, and Mike were in the backseat, while Dustin and Will had quietly accepted their fates in the hatchback.

"Seatbelts!" said Steve, and there were a few clicks.

"You too, Y/N," he added, lips quirked, and you pulled your belt across, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry. I ought to be a better role model, huh? Anybody want snacks? I have pretzels, kettle corn, graham crackers…"

"I'll take some pretzels."

"Kettle corn for the win!"

You passed out the snacks, taking care not to drop any when the car pulled away from the curb.

"Don't make a mess, we don't want to dirty up the Wheelers' car," you reminded.

"Hey!" Steve said, glaring at the rear view mirror. "I can literally see you guys throwing pretzels at each other. Cut it out."

"Yes, mom, yes, dad," mumbled Lucas, making all of them giggle.

Steve rolled his eyes. You cleared your throat.

"Steve, would you like a snack?"

He grinned, eyes bright and dark like mahogany.

"Sure, why not. What are my options here?"

"We've got Goldfish, trail mix, and grapes," you said, presenting the Ziplocs with a flourish.

"Oh, Goldfish, no doubt. Here." He took one hand off the steering wheel, tendons flexing as his left hand curved around the leather. His right hand reached towards you, and you opened the baggie, cupping it so it was easier for Steve to take the crackers. He glanced at you, swallowing.

"Thank you, Y/N. Guys, everybody say thank you."

"Thanks, Y/N!" chirped five adolescents.

"Anytime. Steve, you've got crumbs."

"Oh." He swiped at his mouth. "Good?"

"Not quite. Here—" you pulled up the sleeve of your sweater, gently brushing the corner of Steve's mouth.

He swallowed, the corner of his mouth tipping up. "Thanks."

You smiled, popping a grape into your mouth.

"Sure. So, Dustin," you started. "How big is the farm?"

"Four hundred acres. It's been around for almost two hundred years!"

"I hope they have apple taffy," said Mike.

"And pumpkins," added Lucas.

"Pumpkins aren't till next month, dude," Max corrected.

"They could have them!"

As the pumpkin debate continued, you glanced at Steve.

"Hey. Is that a new coat?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Bloomingdale's. Half off, actually."

"Wow," you said. "What a steal."

"I know, right? The inside is super soft. Here, feel."

You hesitated, eyes darting from the jacket to Steve. He was focused on the road, unaware of your hesitation.

"Okay," you murmured, touching the inside of the collar.

It was soft, thick like sheep's wool. You felt the heat from Steve's skin, see the summer freckles still prominent on his neck. The coat was big on him, making him look cozy. You forced your gaze away.

"It's nice," you said hoarsely, retracting. "Looks good on you, Harrington."

His answering grin was sunshine. Butterflies fluttered in your belly.

"Are we almost there?" asked Will.

"We've been driving for ten minutes," replied Steve. "Take a nap or something."

Will's face scrunched. "I'm too old for naps."

"After the year we've had? I don't think so."

To Steve's credit, Will and Lucas both ended up falling asleep in the hour drive it took to get to Berkshire Farms. Max quietly listened to her cassettes and Dustin and Mike occupied themselves with some game you were certain you wouldn't understand.

"Hey, Y/N?" Steve's voice was hushed.

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering, if, um… well, I know you're starting classes soon, but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to, uh, do something."

"Do something?" you asked.

"Yeah. I mean, you'll be at school, but—"

"I'm only a half hour away," you reminded.

"No, yeah, right. And that's awesome, obviously. I'm… I'm glad you're so close. So, I thought we could, you know, do something together."

"See a movie?"

"Yeah, yeah. Like that. But…"

You turned your body all the way, facing him. Gravel crunched underneath the tires as you pulled into the parking lot of the farm. Steve's fingers drummed on the steering wheel. He didn't look at you.

"But what, Steve?" you prompted.

"We're here! Open, open, open!"

You blinked. Dustin jiggled the handles. Steve sighed, telling him to cut it out before unlocking the doors. You followed them out before they all scattered, corralling the group towards the booth to get bags for apple-picking.

"Everybody take a bag," you directed. "No pushing! Guys, come on. Okay, where do we want to go first? How about the golden delicious?"

"My mom wants me to get pink gala," said Mike. "I'll meet you after."

The others echoed similar sentiments.

"Wait—guys, I thought we were going to pick apples together. You're going to leave me by myself?" you frowned.

They exchanged looks before Lucas spoke up. "You won't be alone, Y/N. You'll be with Steve."

"Yeah, Steve's cool," said Dustin. “Don’t you think he’s cool?”

“Well, yeah, of course I like Steve, but—”

"He'll carry your apples for you!" he added and nudged Max, who nodded emphatically.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Uh, Steve's great. You guys would be great… picking apples together."

They stared at you with wide eyes, a few shifting their weight. You relaxed into a smile, finally understanding.

"Okay, okay. You guys want to spend time together before school starts, huh? I get it, we're old and we cramp your style."

"No—" started Will, but was effectively cut off with an elbow from Mike. "Ow, what the hell!"

"That's exactly it, Y/N," said Dustin. "Yeah, whew, we didn't wanna say anything, but we need to go over some plans for high school, you know? I mean, we're gonna be freshmen. It's a big deal."

"What's a big deal?" Steve asked, two apple bags tucked under his arm.

"Nothing. High school stuff. Anyway, we're gonna go pick our own apples. We have walkies," Dustin said, shaking his own radio. "Here, take this one."

He tossed Mike's walkie to Steve, who caught it with one hand. "Whoa, you're ditching us? Come on, guys, Y/N really wanted this to be a thing we did together."

"Steve, it's okay," you soothed, patting his arm. "They want to hang out. We're old and they have important teen matters to address."

"I'm not old!" Steve insisted. His eyes narrowed at Dustin, who was the picture of innocence. "What are you planning?"

"We're not planning anything, Steve. Is it so wrong if we split up for a bit and meet back for lunch?"

They were all beginning to back away. You shook your head fondly.

"Go ahead. Keep your walkies on, though. Will, watch out for bees!"

"'Kay! See ya! Have fun."

They scattered into the orchard, disappearing among the rows of apples. You turned to Steve, who had his arms crossed.

"Those little assholes," he muttered. "You're way too soft on them."

"Aw, they're kids. Besides, I knew they'd want to do their own thing at some point. They should have fun, you know?"

You bumped Steve’s shoulder, not wanting him to be truly upset with them. He sighed, melting.

"Yeah, okay. Guess they deserve it." He took the bags from under his arm. "So where do you wanna start? Golden delicious, right? For the pies?"

You blinked. You'd mentioned making pies for Mrs. Sinclair's bake sale weeks ago.

"You remembered."

"Well, yeah. Your pies are, like, the best thing there."

"Oh, so you only remembered to get free pie, huh?"

Steve's grin was boyish. "Maybe I'm just really dedicated to the Hawkins bake sale."

"Wow, well, good to know where your loyalties lie, Steve," you sighed dramatically. "But if you can be bought with free pie, I guess I'll make the most of it."

You stepped forward and picked a few apples, dropping them ceremoniously into the bag. Steve gently coaxed it out of your grip, dutifully holding it open as you snaked down the aisles.

"Hey, so… that thing I mentioned," he began as you prowled for good apples. "In the car. About us going somewhere?"

"Oh, right! What were you thinking? My school will probably have sports rallies and stuff. We could go to one of those together? Maybe with the others?"

"We could," Steve said weakly. He scratched the back of his neck. "But I was thinking, actually…"

"Steve—I'm sorry, keep talking—but can you get that apple up there for me? On the top branch."

"Sure, sure." Steve reached up, his arm longer than yours, and he plucked the apple from the tree, dropping it into the bag. You nodded, satisfied.

"Good. I think we've got enough. Let's go to the granny smiths next."

You headed down the path, watching for the little signs tied to stakes in front of the trees.

"So, Y/N? What I was saying before."

"Oh my God, yeah, go ahead. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off," you said. "So what did you mean?"

"Like, uh… shit." Steve chuckled slightly, cheeks red. "Damn, I used to be good at this."

"Good at what?"

“I, um…”

You were closer now, having entered Steve’s space to pick a pair of bright green apples. He opened the bag for you, never looking away.

“Hey, lovebirds! You there?”

The crackle of the walkie startled you apart. Steve fumbled to dig it out, pressing the button.

“What is it, Dustin?” he answered impatiently.

“Okay, okay, sheesh. We were wondering if you and Y/N are done, ‘cause we’re hungry.”

“I could eat,” you said. “Steve?”

“Sure,” he sighed. “We’ll meet you guys at the car.”

It wasn’t far to the parking lot. Steve carried your apples for you, despite your insistence you could carry a bag. You went to pay for your bags while he went to the car so the kids could get their lunches. You bought a pint of cider to share, smiling when Lucas lit up at the sight.

“Yes!” he said, pumping his fist. “Their cider is awesome.”

You unpacked your lunch—chicken salad—and dug in. Soon, everyone was eating… except Steve. Of course, you noticed immediately.

“Where’s your food, Steve?” you asked.

“Oh, uh, I didn’t bring any. I’m good, you know, I’ll eat tonight.”

Your mouth drew into a pout. “Steve, you should eat.”

“Y/N, it’s okay, really.”

“Dude, you activated her mother hen mode,” Max sighed.

You pulled out a second chicken salad sandwich, sliding it to him. “Here. Take it.”

“No, Y/N, I don’t wanna take your food—”

“You’re not,” you shrugged. “I packed extra just in case. Eat, Stevie, please.”

Steve relented, unwrapping the foil. You beamed, satisfied, and returned to your own food.

“After this, we should look at pumpkins,” announced Lucas.

“It’s not even October. They don’t have freaking pumpkins, man,” Mike sighed.

“Here we go again,” groaned Max.

“There are other fruits,” you offered, but they weren’t listening.

They started roughhousing then, and you reached to pull the food away from the edge.

“Guys, stop,” Steve said. “You’re too close to the table, it’s gonna—”

Someone bumped into the corner. The cider toppled.

“—spill.”

You hissed at the cold, standing. Eighty percent of the cider ended up on your sweater. The other twenty pooled on the ground in a sugary puddle.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” rushed out Mike.

“Sorry, Y/N,” Lucas winced.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, quickly wiggling out of your sweater before the liquid soaked through. “It’ll wash out.”

You grabbed a wad of napkins, patting your sweater. The cider had already begun to set, and you soon gave up, carefully rolling it into a ball. A particularly chilly breeze cut through and you shivered. That’s when you felt something soft being draped over your shoulders.

“Hold on, I think I have a scarf too,” Steve said, standing before you could protest.

You snuggled into his coat, pulling it around your arms. The kids stared at you, all with secretive smiles.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing,” Dustin said in a voice that made it clear it was something.

Steve returned shortly with a knitted heather gray scarf.

“Won’t you be cold?” you asked.

“I’m okay. Still got my sweater,” he said, gesturing to his yellow pullover.

“Alright, but if you feel cold…”

“I won’t,” Steve laughed. “Promise.”

Your last stop, minus the pumpkins (which were not yet in season, much to Lucas’ dismay), was the gift shop. Will and Max made a beeline for the apple cider donuts. The others were fascinated by the apple-themed trinkets. You particularly were taken by the hand-knitted tea cozies.

“What do you think?” came Steve’s voice from beside you. He held up an enamel pin that said apple-y ever after. “Is this a babe magnet or what?”

You snorted. “Without a doubt. Girls love apple puns.”

“Yeah?” he grinned.

“Mmhm. I do, at least.”

You felt Steve’s eyes on you as you continued looking through the cozies. You held up another with a turkey on it.

“Hey, this reminds me,” you started. "My mom said you could come over for Thanksgiving. If you want. I don't know if you have plans, or…"

"I don't," Steve said. "My folks aren't, uh, much for family dinners.”

"Well, you're always welcome to ours. And I thought maybe it could be fun! I asked Robin and she said she might make it too, so…”

Steve smiled, nodding. "I’d like that. Jesus, wow."

"What?"

"Times like these, I'm, um—I’m really glad I pulled my head out of my ass.” Steve shyly ran a hand through his hair. “God, you probably couldn't stand me back then. I'm happy we met, despite the circumstances. You're the best thing in my life, Y/N."

"Oh," you said, overwhelmed. "Steve, I—well, that's not true. You had Nancy. Have Nancy." Their history was one you were well acquainted with.

Steve shook his head. "No. 'S not the same. She's great, don't get me wrong, but you're… it's like apples and oranges."

“Hmm?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, voice a whisper. “And I, uh… I really like apples.”

Your eyes darted to his lips. Steve watched them do so.

“Y/N! Can I get this? Suzie wants to try this science thing from camp.”

Dustin held up a lighter with tiny apples on it.

“Um, no, you may not,” you scoffed. “Your mom would kill us if you brought that home.”

“She won’t see it! I swear, I’ll be super cautious.”

“No,” you and Steve answered at the same time.

Dustin pouted, disappearing to put it away.

“These kids,” Steve mumbled, hands on his hips.

You hid a smile behind the tea cozy, scooting closer to him.

“Hey. You cold?” he asked.

“Kinda. There’s a draft,” you lied. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, putting an arm around your shoulders. “It’s okay.”

The car ride home was quieter, apple-picking having effectively worn everybody out. Huey Lewis sang about the power of love, only slightly muted from how old the car’s radio was. Steve had fastened the apple-y ever after pin to the collar of his sweater. You smiled every time your gaze fell on it.

You dropped Max off first, then Lucas, then Mike and Will, who were having a sleepover. Dustin was the last, living the closest to your house. He gave a little wave and a thumbs-up before racing up the steps. Eventually, you were in front of your house. Steve parked and got out for you, carrying your bags of apples to your doorstep.

“Thank you,” you grinned. “Again. You’ve been a huge help today, Steve.”

“Oh, well, y’know, gotta have somebody to tag-team those rascals.”

“You were great. You’re always great,” you added, heart thumping.

Steve’s expression was soft, eyes warm. “I had a lot of fun, Y/N.”

“Me too! I love hanging out with you.”

You stared at each other for a long moment before you turned abruptly, fidgeting with your house keys.

“Um, okay, well, I’m gonna head in. Oh! Crap, your coat. And your scarf. Uh—”

You dropped your keys and winced. Steve slowly retrieved them as you shrugged off his jacket and unraveled the scarf. As soon as he straightened, you tossed them over his head like he was an unsightly lamp.

“Shit! Sorry.” Pull it together, Y/N.

Steve’s shoulders were shaking as he bit his cheek to restrain his laughter. That got you giggling, and soon you were both breathless, snorting and wheezing. He pulled the coat off his head, tucking it under his arm. You couldn’t help another giggle at the flyaway hairs from the static.

“Here, lemme just—” you gently flattened Steve’s hair, hand lingering down his arm and finally falling back to your side.

His smile was fond. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing. Wouldn’t want you coming across any groovy chicks with hair out of place.”

“Groovy?” he teased.

“What! People say groovy,” you defended.

“Nobody under forty.”

“That does it,” you decided. “No free pie for you, Steve Harrington.”

“Aw, come on! Alright, how ‘bout this: we can bring groovy back. You’ll make it popular again.”

“Hm. Okay, fair enough. I’ll save you a pie.”

“Groovy,” he grinned, handing you your keys.

You snorted, turning and picking up your bags, struggling only for a moment before you got the door open. Steve kept a hand on the door so you could get inside and put the bags down.

“Okay. Good. Good stuff. So, uh…”

“Y/N?”

You turned back around. “Yeah—yes, Steve?”

Steve was close, closer than he’d been all day. Your heartbeat picked up as he leaned in, hand coming up to cup your face. You both paused, waiting.

“Can I–?”

You nodded, eyes already fluttering shut. Steve tasted like sugar and cider. Your hands curled into his hair, nose pressing into his cheek. His lips were soft, a little cold from the weather. You could feel his body heat through his sweater and you tugged him in.

The door hitting your butt made you flinch. Steve pulled back, concerned.

“Door,” you chuckled breathlessly, hands resting on the nape of his neck.

“Oh,” he said, thumb brushing your cheek.

“So…”

“So,” Steve echoed. “Was that, uh, okay?”

“More than okay. Really, really great, actually.”

“I can’t take all the credit,” he shrugged. “I am wearing the pin.”

“Oh, I see,” you grinned. “Well, what do you and your pin say to coming over Saturday and helping me make pies?”

“We would enjoy that very much, but I should warn you I’m incredibly accident-prone in the kitchen.”

“That’s alright,” you said slyly.

His lips were pink and slightly swollen. You felt excitement curl in your belly at the prospect of getting to kiss Steve Harrington again and again. You drew him in, lips resting on his.

“You can be the taste-tester.”

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #apple picking #stranger things #steve harrington

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noisycroissant · 6 months

Text

Our Sweet Wife

Nanami × Reader × Toji

Bonus chapter

You had been promised to the prince of the kingdom before you were even born. You knew this day would come, it was inevitable. You'd been trained how to be a consort from the minute you could walk in a straight line. Classes upon classes on etiquette, history, diction, even on how to walk and dress worthy of a royal consort.

What you didn't know was that the kingdom was ruled by not one, but two princes.

Born to different mothers, they were as different as night and day. Toji was as dark as a moonless night: pitch black hair, jade green eyes, scars to commemorate every ruthless battle he'd been in. Kento was fair as a summer's day: light blonde hair, erudite, there was no one in the kingdom who could win against him in a battle of wits.

Everyone expected the half-siblings to fight it out for their birthright, possibly ending in one's death. But surprising everyone, even their own late father, the brothers had joined forces. Brawn and brains, together their kingdom prospered. They shared every victory, every decision.

And now they're going to share you.

Their promised bride.

*******

"Relax Kento, this is not the first time we've been with a woman," Toji drawled lazily from the couch he was lounging on.

"Of course not. But you have to admit this is different. In all aspects. She's a princess. She was literally raised to be a consort to a king. A king, singular," Kento's voice rose a pitch as he got his thoughts out, "We do not know how she will accept us."

"She knows what she's getting into, Kento," Toji responds, his voice low and comforting, "Just be ourselves, that's all we need to do."

"But..." Kento's protest was cut short by the guard announcing your arrival.

"The Lady Consort, your graces," announces the guard, as you're ushered into the grand bed chamber. You keep your head low, the cloak covering your head and most of your body. Not that you were wearing much, a simple lace nightgown was what your handmaidens dressed you in.

An outfit designed and selected to confirm a consummation.

The guard turns on his heel and leaves, and you're left standing there, goosebumps rising on your arms as you feel eyes on you. You slowly raise your head to see them.

Your husbands. Plural.

*******

Toji moved first. For a man his size, he was extremely light on his feet. He flips the hood off your head and snaps the cloak off your body in seconds.

You stare at his face, taking in his green eyes, the sinful smirk, that slight scar across his lips.

"She's certainly a feast for the eyes, Kento," he says to the blonde man behind him.

Kento moves behind you, a reassuring hand at your lower back, trying to stare down the wolfish grin that grows on Toji's face as he drinks you in, "I apologize for my brother. Restraint is not one of his virtues."

"He's right, but the things I can give you while restraining you..." Toji responds suggestively.

You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry. But you feel a warmth bloom in you belly in the position you find yourself in.

Between two strong men, their scent and voices making your senses heady.

You know what's going to happen tonight. You'd fought a silent dread for years now, wondering how you'd muster courage on your consummation night.

Maybe you wouldn't have to. Your husbands look like they know just what to do with you.

"Maybe a bath first?" Kento suggests, breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Wonderful idea, as always, brother," Toji says as he walks towards the bath chamber, stripping off his clothes along the way.

Your face heats up as you catch a glimpse of his toned back muscles.

"He's a bit of an exhibitionist. Don't let it get to you," Kento says, trying to ease your mind. "We've been so looking forward to seeing you since the ceremony last month. Our lovely bride. I hope you'll be happy in our kingdom."

Kento's smooth voice quiets your nerves and you let him lead you towards the bath chamber.

Where Toji already sits in the giant tub of warm, sudsy water.

"How about Kento gets in, and then you take your time to disrobe and join us?" Toji suggests, his eyes glinting with mischief, "Would that be easier for you, princess?"

You did not miss the teasing tone stroking the way he called you princess. You'd been called that your entire life, but never in that tone.

You dart behind the changing screen and peek through the gaps to see Kento undress and enter the bath.

"Any time now, princess, we're waiting!"

You slowly emerge from behind the screen, the skin of your face and chest blooming colour as heat and shyness shoot through you. You remember your lessons and walk perfectly poised right into the bath, where the men promptly move towards either side of you.

The warm water, the desire rising through your body, the heat radiating off your husbands' skin....you were close to passing out.

"Take a sip. It'll cool you down," Kento passes you a goblet of chilled wine which you gratefully drink.

The alcohol flows through you, calming your nerves, you lean back and let the warm water soothe your muscles.

*******

Toji's thumb touches your chin and he gently moves your face closer to his. "May I kiss the bride now, princess?" You nod and his lips press against yours, his warm tongue licking the seams of your mouth seeking entry. You open and moan deliciously as Toji kisses you like he's tasting you.

You feel his hand move towards your stomach, your hands shoot out and grab Kento's for support.

"Skittish little thing," Toji whispers against your lips. Kento takes your hand and kisses his way to your neck. You turn to him, a moan caught in your throat, let out when he kisses you just as deeply if not more.

Kento tastes like the sweet wine he gave you. You try to mimic the movement of his tongue and he hums in approval. He moves down, kissing your jaw and your neck, grazing his teeth along the lobe of your ear. You let out a small whine as you feel Toji's breath on the other side of your neck before his teeth gently grazed the skin.

"Princess, are you getting all hot and bothered?" Toji whispers in your ear.

You feel your cheeks redden as you realise that you need more. More hands touching you. More of their lips against your skin.

Kento takes your lips in his again while Toji gently tells you, "I'm going to touch you now. I'll be gentle, sweetheart."

You moan as you feel his rough, calloused fingers slowly flit across your thighs, higher and higher, till they reach your pussy.

"You're soaking down here, dearest," he says as his finger slowly move into your pussy and stroke your clit. You jolt, breaking Kento's kiss.

"Touch her with me, Kento. Let's give our wife her first taste of pleasure," Toji says, not breaking eye contact with you.

"Anything for our sweet wife," says Kento as his fingers easily finds Toji's, but moves lower towards your opening. He gently eases in a finger, making you buck up.

The sensations were too much, wave after wave of pleasure washing over you, making your legs weak. Toji kept rubbing slow circles on your clit, increasing the pressure every now and again, whispering the dirtiest things you'd ever heard and moving his tongue along the shell of your ear. Kento's finger touched places inside you that you'd never dreamed could bring you such pleasure.

You lean back, their voices and touch going to your head, making you dizzy with want. "I--- I'm going to cum..please I..I can't," you gasp out.

"What lovely first words to hear from our wife, eh?" Toji snickers teasingly as he rubs your clit faster and faster. He wraps a strong arm around your waist to ground you as Kento slips in another finger and moves it in a come hither motion, touching that perfect bundle of nerves inside you.

You come apart as your orgasm hits. Your body goes stiff as your moan wantonly, burying your head against Toji's shoulder.

He holds you as you come down from your high. You lift your head to see Kento licking his fingers clean of your slick. Your eyes widen in embarrassment as Toji tells you, "The night's only beginning, sweet thing."

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bonesandthebees · 2 months

Note

I'm not sure if any of this is as important to say as I feel like it is, but just in case, here it is.

Idk about you, but I'm really tired of having things taken from me because the cc's were abusive. I say this with an emphasis on the fact that supporting their victims and condemning their actions is far more important, that I'm not giving that man a single cent anymore. The most important thing the community can do is support the people he hurt. But It's still gonna hurt to purge my playlist because we, as a community, were lied to. And something I derived comfort from, especially in the wake of recent personal events, has been taken from me. Not by the community or by the people coming out; by him and his actions.

So seriously thank you for creating a space for people to talk about what's going on, because it's so easy to feel guilty right now for having feelings about this situation. Especially as a neurodivergent person whose main comfort is music, including music (and YouTube videos) he made.

I just feel like it's important to put this out there. The community as a whole needs to support the victims, but it's also okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to look at his songs in your playlist, dreading deleting them, for a while. No one will hate you for that. You're not a bad person for that. They're just songs or videos, but they're content that mattered to some of us. How dare he ruin that for all of us. How dare he.

Now that I've written a whole entire novel, please take care of yourself. I know I'm an internet stranger but I almost didn't write this because I think that it's important to emphasize that while I'm glad to see Tumblr users creating a space to talk for those of us who don't post and such, I also think it's way more important that your blog be a safe space for you yourself.

- a rambly anon 🪐

yeah, trust me, I'm fucking sick of this too. you're not selfish for feeling upset about deleting his songs from your playlist or not being able to watch vods of his for comfort anymore. you are not a bad person for having an attachment to someone who lied to his audience about who he was. you are human. you are allowed to be upset.

also, to veer slightly from your point but to bring something else up, while I know there are varying opinions on the community in this I personally don't think I want to let this make me stop hoping for people to be good. yes, it might seem like an endless pattern of people you like being revealed to be assholes. and for some people, they might want to leave the community to avoid that disappointment again. for me, I'm not going to put cc's up on a pedestal and expect them to be great people, but I'm not going to expect the worst from them either. keep my expectations realistic, but not pessimistic. content creators are flawed human beings like the rest of us, and sometimes they can be really shitty people, but sometimes they can be good people too. and I'm always going to hope for the latter.

and thank you for thinking of me. honestly the reason I've slowed down answering asks the past few days is precisely because I've been trying to take care of myself. I've gone up and down in terms of how I'm doing, and when I'm not feeling up to it I don't touch my inbox.

and despite everything that's happened this morning, I've had a good day. I got myself a cinnamon roll. I'm drinking green tea and it's sunny out. I saw flowers blooming on the side of the road and it made me smile. focusing on the little things, you know?

#ask #wilbur situation #anon

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emepe · 1 month

Text

— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: A journal entry. Meanwhile, Armin does what he can to help Eren out.

— Content warnings: mentions of murder and torture of a woman, misogyny.

— Notes: Hello, hello! Thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged chapter 1 of this series. I really appreciate it <3 Happy reading, bubs!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

just friends

September 8, 2024

There’s nothing I hate more than arrogant women. That’s why I had to kill her.

All I wanted was for her to smile at me. She wouldn’t. I filled her room with all her favorite things and even loosened her handcuffs. But she was so fucking hard-headed it drove me crazy. The little bitch even dared to spit at me. I had to teach her a lesson. I had to let out my anger somehow.

For a while, it was exciting to watch her writhe in pain. I can’t even begin to describe how thrilling it is to see how much a human can tolerate until they break. I told her it was compensation for the look she gave me the day we met. She kept lying and saying she didn’t even remember having bumped into me on the street.

I really wish she could’ve bounced back this time. I’m so lonely without her now. I miss her.

Humans are social by nature, it's what all the books say. When one is young, we need protection and love from our caregivers. As we grow, our world gradually expands and we bond with other people — friends from school, teachers, neighbors, coworkers. If one must stick to tradition, there's bound to be a romantic relationship to develop at some point. But for some people, that imposed path doesn't come naturally. Or rather, there have been blockages throughout the years that resulted in stunted social growth.

That's where you find yourself. It's not your fault. When one grows up forced to believe she's nothing but a burden, it's only natural to try to take up as little space as possible. But again, it's not your fault. One doesn't acquire those thoughts on their own.

You ruined my life!

As much as wellness and self-help gurus will preach there's a place in the world for everyone, self-awareness keeps you from blinding yourself toward the baggage you carry. It wouldn't be fair to lay that on anyone else.

So you've shrunk yourself. No making yourself seen, no making yourself heard. No talking outside of what is strictly necessary to survive. No inserting yourself into other's lives. For the most part, it's worked. Albeit, you've been deemed unlikable, weird, and rude. It's better this way. There's no use in putting yourself out there if there's so much to feel ashamed of. It's too much to trouble others with your pitiful self.

Who in the world would want to put up with you?

After the usual snarky murmurs and judgmental glances, you're rarely acknowledged save for when someone — usually a man — tries to “take a crack” at you and the whispers float in the air for another while. Other than that, you're at peace with yourself. You're almost convinced you've developed invisibility powers.

That is until Armin came along. At first, you sighed at the prospect of going over your routine yet again. Cementing boundaries and erasing any hope that it just takes the right guy to “loosen you up”. It was disgusting to have your quietness be misinterpreted for arrogance by the men at work. Even if that were the case, who was anybody to assume you needed to be knocked down a peg through sexual advances?

But Armin proved himself to be different. He tore away at your skepticism by simply being kind with no ulterior motives. Men can be so stupid. They'll believe a girl can't pick up when they're being slimy. It must've shocked them when you started having lunch with Armin more frequently.

It was thanks to him that you slowly expanded your world's limits. It was because of him that you began to question the voice that rang in your ears. After receiving the housewarming party invitation, you wondered whether to step forward or back. There was no denying Armin's expansion had awoken something in you. You wanted company — craved it — but you didn't want to risk bringing trouble into the group. What if Armin was an anomaly and the things that echoed in your head were true? Maybe Armin wasn't an anomaly at all, he just didn't know enough about you. You certainly didn't let him in enough.

In the end, your heart overruled your brain. You wanted more. With a hopeful heart, you went to the party.

A heavy sigh slips past your lips as you pick at your dinner on Sunday night. Your hair is still damp from the shower and it rests uncomfortably along your neck. Your phone lies next to your plate, buzzing every few seconds to match the texts that come into the group chat — arrangements are taking place for the next get-together with Armin and his friends.

After your moment of realization on the balcony, you faked a yawn and went back inside to pretend to fall asleep.

This morning, you avoided being alone with Eren. Not out of fear of something happening, but you needed to sort out your feelings on the situation.

There's no denying Eren is an attractive man — but that doesn't faze you.

Catching Eren's eye wasn't something you planned. Your world suddenly expanded outside of your will — out of your control. You're not annoyed, just overwhelmed.

Being the center of someone's attention means more expectations, more to live up to — he has no idea you're not the kind of girl he needs. Nobody needs someone who's a burden. It's not as if you're open to reciprocating any special attention, anyway.

If history has taught you anything, it’s that love isn't in the cards for you. It's best not to entertain any silly ideas.

Friendships are tricky, but no more than romance — or whatever crossed Eren's mind each time he looked at you. Keeping to oneself is easier than either one. But with the latter idea being too late to return to, you'll have to nip this problem in the bud.

The few hours before lunchtime seem to drag slower every Monday. Given that sparing time to eat was nothing but another task to check off your to-do list, you never used to pay much attention to the clock. But since Armin, lunchtime means more than bringing food to your mouth, methodically stretching your pace to fit the length of your lunch break.

Now it means meeting with a friend, having someone fill in the silence with tales from the accounting department, and occasionally going on quick drives to Kuchel.

So when you venture off to his cubicle, only for him to tell you he's swamped with work and won't have lunch until later, you're mildly disappointed. You don't let it show. After all, work trumps your trivial need for company.

So you wish him good luck and return to your desk. Without any conversation to fill in the minutes, you finish your food fairly quickly. When you glance at the time on your phone, barely fifteen minutes have passed. Your fingers tap rhythmically against your desk before you decidedly stand, grab your bag, and head for the elevator.

The coffee shop on the corner of the street has been your go-to spot since you started working here. You've been there alone and with Armin. It's where your feet take you on the rare occasions when Armin is too busy. There's nothing wrong with the in-house coffee kiosk from your office building, but you find more comfort in being surrounded by strangers who keep to themselves than bumping into someone who doesn't like you.

The early September days serve as a transition into cooler temperatures. A light breeze has added to the warmth leftover from summer. The leaves have yet to develop a clear change in color, but some yellow streaks are popping up here and there. The beginning of autumn pushes you toward all things cozy. By the time you reach the shop, you've got your heart set on having a warm cup of cinnamon tea.

You settle at a table, place your order, grab a book from your bag, and wait. Before you can reach the second paragraph of your read, a shadow casts over your left side, forcing you to look up in confusion. It's too soon for your tea to be ready.

You're met with striking green eyes and plump lips that pronounce a bashful hi.

It's a strange coincidence. You wish you could say you've never seen him around here before, but you've never bothered to commit any face to memory if it's not necessary.

“Eren, hi.”

The tint on his cheeks you remember so well from two nights ago resurfaces. A nervous swallow pulls at your throat. You never did map out a plan — then again, you weren't expecting to see him again so soon.

“I wasn't sure if it was you. Are you here with someone?” he asks, taking a second to look around the shop.

You shake your head.

“No. Armin's busy so I came here alone,” you explain.

He nods, rocking his weight on his heels. A question seems to linger on the tip of his tongue as his gaze flits between you and the floor. It takes him a moment for him to find his voice, though. In spite of yourself, you have to admit it's actually a bit endearing. It's different. It's refreshing.

“Is it okay if I sit with you?” His eyes are overflowing with hope.

You nod. He sits. The book in your hands is put away.

For a while last night, you debated the validity of your theory. Maybe Eren wasn't interested in you in the way you thought. After all, it was your first time meeting and he might’ve been nervous. You know enough about the way you present yourself to acknowledge you're not the most approachable person. Maybe all he needs is time to get used to you.

“Do you want to order something?” You ask, prepared to wave over a server. He stops you with a dismissive hand.

“It's okay, I already had some tea.”

Your eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Not a coffee guy?”

He shakes his head, sputtering a nervous chuckle.

“Not really. I don't like bitter things.” His nose scrunches as if he can savor it on his tongue.

A server brings over your tea along with a small tray of additives. You thank them before returning to Eren's statement.

“You can always add sugar,” you point out with a shrug.

He shakes his head again. This time you're relieved to find a playful smile dancing on his lips.

“Nothing can beat tea with honey.”

Your hand pauses mid-air on its way to pick up the wooden wand half lost in a jar of golden syrup.

You hum in thought as you reach for the sugar spoon instead.

“Really?”

“Yeah. That's how my mom made it for me when I was little. I'd get a stomachache or a cold and it was the first thing she'd make for me. I feel like a kid each time I drink it. It makes me think of her.”

The corners of his lips tug into a smile. You find yourself mirroring his expression as you look down at your hand stirring the sugar into your tea.

“Your mom sounds nice,” you murmur.

“Oh, she's the best. I love her.”

Eren's shoulders relax. He feels at ease talking about his mom. He feels even better knowing he's successfully carrying out a casual conversation with you. In the light of day, everything is less scary. There's less to worry about. That carefree feeling blankets over everything. Suddenly, the motive he walked into this coffee shop for seems doable.

Then a sinking feeling comes over his stomach.

“Sorry.” The word bounces off his tongue without thinking.

“What for?”

He doesn't want to say it, but he hopes his apologetic gaze is enough to convey an explanation.

Your eyebrows shoot up in realization at his hesitance. Then they furrow as you press your lips into a fine line and shake your head dismissively.

“Oh, that.”

The recall of Saturday night when you drunkenly talked about your mom causes your cheeks to flare with heat.

Guilt settles in Eren's stomach. He didn't mean to bring up his mom. He also didn't mean to be so quick to apologize. It just made things worse now that you know he's tiptoeing around you. That's probably the last thing you want — to feel purposely pitied.

Flustered, he rummages through his brain for a solution — a way to get back on the track he was on.

You fix your gaze on him. It's obvious he feels troubled. It's a foreign experience having someone worry so much about if they've caused you any harm. You're unsure of what feelings to associate with it other than guilt. He's not at fault for your crappy family life.

“So you and your mom are close?” you ask.

The crease in his forehead smoothes over.

When he shyly reconnects with your gaze, your eyebrows raise ever so slightly in encouragement. The movement is so subtle it's hard not to miss — but not for Eren, who takes in every detail of your face with so much care. For Eren, the small shifts in your features are so interesting to look at. You express so much with so little. And yet there were times when you would accentuate your expressions as much as you could. What you held back vocally was compensated tenfold through your face. It's fascinating to him.

“Yeah.”

His voice is soft — a trace of his withering embarrassment.

“She's my best friend,” he adds with a little more confidence.

You take a sip of tea. The drink warms your stomach, mirroring that of your chest elicited by Eren's words. The fondness in his voice taints him with a childlike innocence.

Eren Jaeger isn't worried about looking cool. He's honest and clumsy. It's charming.

A light shake of your head keeps your thoughts from drifting further.

“So not a coffee guy but a mama's boy, for sure. Got it.” You nod along with an overly serious expression painted on your face.

He laughs, the sinking feeling in his stomach now dissolving into nothing. Had he not been on the receiving end of your bluntly spoken teasing the other night, he might not have laughed so easily.

A blush spreads across his cheeks.

“Come on, don't tease me,” he mumbles.

You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling. Eren falls back into his previously relaxed state.

The conversation continues to flow in between every sip of your tea.

“Do you come here often?” you ask as you prepare to take another sip.

Your eyes are locked on his. He struggles with the intense eye contact. At least, it's intense on his end.

“Not really. Armin mentioned it to me so I thought I'd try it out.”

The pads of his fingers drum a nervous beat on the table.

You nod, relieved. You'd feel silly if it had turned out he was a frequent customer and your disregard of the people surrounding you kept you from noticing him. It would've piled onto your embarrassment from the Kuchel incident.

“Ah, so are you on your lunch break, too? Do you work around here?”

“Um, kind of. I do media production and marketing for a museum, but I do a lot of hours at home. My place is just a few minutes by car.”

“That's so cool.”

The amazement in your voice in addition to its sudden turn up in volume is enough to make him blush.

“It's nothing special. I'm definitely not raking in the big bucks like Jean.”

“Still, it's cool. It's a lot more interesting than being an office manager.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together with newborn disdain for your job before you finish the remainder of your tea.

“Well, I can't argue there,” he says, imitating the sliver of bitterness in your voice.

You gasp in mock hurt.

“Hey, only I can say it.” Your tone is serious, but he knows you're joking. He can tell by the twinkle of amusement in your eyes.

He laughs.

“How long until you have to get back to work?”

You peek at the clock on the wall across the room.

“I still have some time. It's a short walk back, anyway.”

Despite your wording, your answer triggers his nervous antics. You're bound to part ways eventually and he swore to himself he would get the words out. He runs a hand through his hair to distract himself from the anxious flutter in his stomach.

It's no big deal, he thinks. She's just a girl.

He regrets not ordering something else when you asked him. It would give his hands something to do. Then again, he can't keep them from shaking as he gathers the courage to pronounce his next thought. So it's better he doesn't have any breakables in his hold.

He pronounces your name carefully. His heart skips a beat when your eyes meet his. It's strange to think that you hold so much power over him within just a couple of days since meeting. He wants to get closer — he needs to. Again, that feeling of wanting this moment with you to stretch farther squeezes at his chest.

“Do you want to hang out sometime? Just the two of us?”

He can feel himself growing numb to his surroundings as he awaits your response. It's similar to the feeling he gets after stepping foot off a rollercoaster. The adrenaline is pumping furiously through his veins while his mind goes blank. It's a weird moment of chaos and bliss all at once.

You clear your throat.

“So… a date?”

He swallows thickly and nods.

He watches you contemplate his proposal. Your lips are pressed in a fine line, your gaze low and brow furrowed.

It's too much to hope you're equally attracted to him — he's aware. But he hopes you like his company just enough to say yes. Or at the very least, you're curious to know more.

Your mind is in conflict. This is more than you've bargained for. All you wanted was to get along with Armin's friends.

“I'm sorry, Eren. No.”

He instantly deflates to your firm tone.

“It's nothing personal,” you explain. “You're a really nice guy. Really. But I'm not interested in dating… at all.” You sigh, dreading the pending words on your tongue. “And I don't really see you that way. I just want to be friends.”

He remains quiet, chewing on the inside of his cheeks as he processes your words.

The situation is uncomfortable for you, but his defeated form weighs heavier on your heart. He looks so small. It's definitely worse for him.

“Eren?”

Your voice grounds him.

“Sorry, I really spaced out there,” he nervously laughs. “Friends, though. Yeah, friends is good. Friends is perfect, actually.”

The word leaves a bitter taste on his tongue each time. He can pat himself on the back for shooting his shot later but, for now, his senses have been blurred by the disappointment of being turned down.

“I really like talking to you, Eren. Really.”

Your attempt to lighten the defeat on his shoulders works — a little. It's a relief you're not entirely opposed to having him around, at least. Eren finds comfort in that. Maybe it'll suffice while he fights away at his attraction.

“I like talking to you, too.” His voice carries a tint of helplessness.

Your eyes soften.

“I should get going.”

You pull out a fresh bill from your purse and place it under the empty teacup before standing.

He stands with you and holds the door open. It's not until you're both out on the sidewalk, bidding each other goodbye, that he forces a smile.

“I'll see you around.”

“Bye, Eren.”

“Sorry I couldn't make it to lunch,” Armin says. He leans against the edge of your desk with his hands in his pockets.

It's been an hour since you got back, and you've been typing away, replying to emails.

You shrug, tossing a small reassuring smile his way before focusing back on your computer screen.

“It's fine. I wasn't alone this time.”

He perks up.

“Really?”

You hum in affirmation.

“I went out for tea and bumped into your friend Eren.”

Armin's jaw falls open.

“Huh. Well, what do you know? That's a crazy coincidence.”

There's something suspicious about Armin's theatrical tone, but you're too engrossed in going over your email for typos to notice. You only manage to murmur a simple uh-huh.

“What'd you talk about?”

You send off your email with a satisfied click and look up at Armin as you lean back in your chair.

“Just this and that,” you reply nonchalantly.

His lips press into a dissatisfied line.

“Well, what do you think of him?” His eyes light up expectantly.

“He's…” You lose yourself in thought for a moment. Images of blushing cheeks, boyish smiles, and shimmering green eyes flash through your memory. You remember the honey and his simple confessions. “... like a little kid.”

Armin's face bears a mix of confusion and amusement.

“What do you mean by that?”

A soft pensive hum vibrates through your throat.

“Dorky,” you reply firmly.

Armin snorts, readying himself to come to Eren's defense, but you continue.

“He's… honest, like a little kid would be. And he's a little clumsy with his words but it's… Kind of endearing. He's a sweet guy.”

Armin nods along, his face serious. Finally, he smiles.

“Sounds like you had a nice talk, then.”

Date proposal aside, your moment with Eren was enjoyable. Even taking your rejection into account, you didn't sense any resentment directed at you and that just further proved your pure perception of him.

It's not the first time you've been asked out. It's certainly not the first time you've said no — that's always been your response, albeit for different reasons. A few guys in the office have tried getting closer to you but, even if you were open to dating, you can always tell it's nothing genuine from their approach. Their overly kind performance just makes it easier for you to decline. Once that's been done, their creepy narcissistic truths come to light — you're stoned with sexist slurs and disgusted looks. It'd hurt more if you were still the kind of person who craves approval from the wrong people.

There's a clear difference between them and Eren. So even though you rejected him, you still wish to be close as friends. He's a nice person to know.

“I did,” you tell Armin.

There's a shimmer in your eyes he manages to catch. Your features are soft and serene as you prop your chin on one hand while you mindlessly scroll through your emails with the other. Your lips are shaped into a discreet smile. Like a kid.

On his way back to his cubicle on the opposite end of the floor, Armin hums a cheerful tune to himself. There's a proud bounce in every step he takes.

“Armin, check your phone. It was buzzing like crazy a few minutes ago,” a female coworker says in passing before grabbing a manila folder from her desk and rushing off to a meeting room across the hall.

“Thanks, Mina!” he calls after her.

Armin taps the missed call notification on his screen and brings the phone to his ear, grinning expectantly.

“You suck,” Eren's voice comes through the speaker after the first ring.

“Woah, woah, woah. What did I do?” Armin laughs as he steps out onto the empty smoker's balcony.

There’s a groan on the other end.

“What do you think? I crashed and burned.”

Armin’s face contorts in confusion. From what he could gather on your end, the coffee shop incident went well. You were smiling, and although the things you said about Eren didn’t seem like it, you meant them fondly — Armin knew you well enough to confidently confirm that. At the very least, it meant you weren’t completely repulsed by his company. Even if there are different sides to every story, the discrepancies shouldn’t be anything major.

“What are you talking about?” Armin sighs.

Another groan on Eren’s end. If Armin wasn’t so patient, he would’ve hung up.

He really is like a little kid, he thinks.

“I asked her out and she said no.”

Armin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. How could you keep that part out of the conversation you had earlier?

His shock doesn’t stem from your rejection, but rather because of Eren’s unexpected bravery. Although Eren was tough on the playground when they were kids, he grew up to be a fairly meek guy. When it comes to a girl he likes, he’s never been the bold type. Armin found it a bit strange at times. Eren’s had a track record of being popular among women, so his confidence should be over the roof and his personality, unbearable. But if he’s honest, it’s a good thing he doesn’t pay much attention to those things. It’s easier to root for a friend who only acts on more honest feelings. Even if that confidence didn’t stick with him.

“This is all your fault, Armin. So much for having my back.”

Even through the phone, Armin can tell his best friend is pouting. He has to hold back from rolling his eyes — it feels deceitful to do it behind his back when he has to play the role of a sympathetic friend right now.

He rubs at his nape, unsure of whether he should feel proud of Eren for making a move or apologetic for not contemplating what seemed like a far-fetched risk.

“To be fair, buddy, I didn’t send you over there to ask her out. I just thought you would like the chance to talk to her and get to know her a little better.”

“You couldn’t tell me that before? I don’t think I can ever face her again!” Eren half-yells.

Of course, Eren chooses to focus on the negatives. Armin cherry-picks the situations he meddles in. Even if it’ll serve as a confident boost to reveal to Eren what you said about him and how you said it, it could do him some good to bounce back on his own — and learn to pace himself.

“First off, you have to relax an—”

“I can’t.” Eren’s voice is reduced to an embarrassed murmur. “She makes me nervous. I can’t help myself.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

It’s been obvious from the start that Eren is attracted to you, but the near confession pulls at Armin’s heartstrings. It’s times like this when he’s reminded how cute Eren can be.

“That bad, huh?” Armin smiles down at the people walking on the street.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in love with her or anything but…”

There's a long pause on Eren's side, only disturbed by some light rustling as he moves his phone around.

“... I like looking at her… and I like hearing her talk. Do you ever notice how soft her voice is? There’s just something about it… There’s this thing with her eyes, too, it’s crazy.”

“Well, as long as you’re not falling in love with her.”

Eren releases a third groan.

“Armin, please. I just want to get closer to her. And I don’t want to make myself look like an idiot each time we’re alone. I wish there was something I could do to make her like me.”

“I don’t think she dislikes you if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“She said she doesn’t see me that way. She just wants to be friends.”

Eren’s desolation is seeping through the phone now.

“Maybe I jumped the gun by asking her out so quickly.”

When Armin suggested Eren find you at the coffee shop during your lunch break, he figured it would help him get used to you. So that when the time came, he could ask you out without being more anxious than he needed to be. Had everything gone accordingly, Eren wouldn’t be moping now and wondering what would have happened — if anything was meant to happen — if he had just given you a little more time.

“Maybe,” Armin echoes.

“Do you think I blew it?”

Armin shakes his head even though there’s no way for Eren to tell.

“I think you just got a little excited. You never know how she might feel later on.”

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I hardly think she’ll like me any better if I act like those guys who can’t take no for an answer. I should just try being her friend.”

Armin wants to beg him not to feel discouraged — that there’s a reason why he was so excited to introduce you to each other, and why he teased him at the housewarming party after he caught him blushing while doing the dishes with you.

It didn’t start that way but, the more he got to know you, the more he thought you and Eren would be good together.

Soft-spoken girl who keeps to herself meets the most dependable and kind-hearted boy.

Armin would be lying if he said he wasn’t swayed by the promised satisfaction of playing matchmaker in the fantasy playing out in his head. Not that he felt you absolutely needed to get together. But he could feel it in his gut. You and Eren could do each other a lot of good. He already knew Eren would feel a pull upon meeting you and, if there’s anything he gathered from both sides of the coffee shop incident, it’s that you like Eren enough to let him stick around. It was a good call on your end, though he may be biased.

If you happen to fall in love along the way, then so be it.

“You’re a good guy, Eren. Everything will turn out fine.”

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