#i hope it gets to 50-50 before they upload

[ahappyphjl]

vote phil!! it’s working!!

[gguk-n]

Chapter 1- Anonymous Conversations

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N formed an unexpected bond with a boy behind the screen. He doesn't have many interest it seems, except for reading her stupid poems.

{Reader's POV}

12/07/2012

Dear Diary, Stella is leaving for Canada tomorrow forever. Today was the last day of school before the summer break so I went to Stella's house after school. It's so shitty, how can she leave me like this and before the start of high school. I don't have any friends other than her, what am I supposed to do??? This isn't fair, first Faye moved back to her home country a couple years back and now Stella. It's like they don't even care about me. I made a google plus account so we can stay in touch. Actually everyone's on google plus, I'm just late to the party. I'm sure we'll still be close.

02/01/2013

OMG!! I think I'm in love. There's this new boy band, One Direction. Ava told me about them last year but I brushed her off saying they weren't my cup of tea, but OMG!!! They are fucking perfect and I love Niall so much. He's so cute and has the dreamiest eyes and his accent, I'm gonna faint. I bought the Take Me Home album yesterday!! I even put up their poster above my bed, hehe!! Sooooo, I may or may not be writing now. I think I'm gonna be an author. The stuff isn't great like Shakespeare but I'm sure I'll improve. I've written a couple poems and Aria read them and she thinks they are great. I'm gonna start uploading them on google plus. I made a separate page for it, under a pseudonym. If I really improve, maybe I can publish my work.

I was sat at my laptop, typing the latest story I came up with during lunch so I could upload it. There were a lot of people who were reading my work and even encouraged me. There is improvement, but then again, we can do better, I'm sure. My parents aren't very happy with how I'm wasting my time writing instead of focusing on my education since I'm in high school now. I finished typing the story and clicked the upload button, I got a comment on the post. It was from this guy, named Max, just Max. He always read all of my work and writes the nicest comments under them. I haven't spoken to him personally ever since my mother kept warning me about stranger danger and that it could be some 50 year old dude. But his comments are encouraging and make me want to write more. I hope he knows the kind of effect he's having on me.

My birthday is in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do since I don't really have a lot of friends. Even Aria is away during that time, so I don't really have anyone to go out with. My parents are busy as always.

So, out of desperation or sadness, I don't know which one, I posted on google plus saying that it was my birthday. The first person who replied was Max as always. I really wanna know when this guy sleeps or how he gets any work done if he is online so much. He messaged me personally too, to wish me again and even asked what I did. I couldn't lie because my heart was heavy, so I told him. I literally just unloaded about not having any friends and spending the day alone because work was more important for my parents. He was so nice about it. He spent the next hour talking to me and cheering me up. He's apparently 15, from Netherlands. He loves cats and lives with his dad and sister. He sounds like a fun guy.

After that, both of us ended up chatting on google plus regularly. I would message him immediately after school and spend the next couple of hours talking to him. Some times, he'd be gone a couple weekends but it was no biggy. I'm sure he had other commitments instead of entertaining a dumb teenager.

Max's birthday is on 30 September. I wanted to be the first one, so I stayed up late to match the dutch timings and wished him. He replied a little while later. He wasn't very excited about it. I get it, maybe his friends aren't there or couldn't make it to his birthday. I was gonna cheer him like he cheered me up. I wish I could send him a present. He really was a light in dark time. When I had no friends in school I could rely on, he came like the knight in shining armour. I just want to be a good and reliable friend to him like he is to me. He is such a sweetheart. We've never spoken on call yet. I guess I'm still a little scared and we've only known each other for a few months. I'm gonna hold on that but Max is a genuinely nice person in my eyes. But his dad doesn't sound like the nicest person from what he says, but I can't tell him that his dad is shitty so I just read his texts.

18/12/2013

Dear Diary, Maxie is the cutest. I haven't seen or heard him yet but I feel like he is. Otherwise, why would he encourage me to follow my dreams? He was so understanding and gave great advice. You might wonder why I needed the advice, diary. I told my parents I wanna pursue a degree in literature and we had a huge fight since apparently I'm throwing my life away and I should try to get a proper degree that might get me a job. Apparently, I'm not thinking straight. I've been thinking about becoming an author for some time now, it's my one passion, I've realised. And if it means struggling, I would rather struggle and be happy than be in a dead end job. Just because they are some big shot business people doesn't mean I wanna do that do. ugh!!! I hate them. Maxie calmed me down honestly, he heard me out and told me it was okay to follow my dreams. I think he is such a good friend. I won't tell him that, he has a big ego as is. LOL!!

I've been gaining a lot of traction on my posts on google plus. I have a couple thousand followers but Max is the most active of them all. Max is so effortlessly funny. He did ask one time if we could talk on call, I told him that my microphone was broken. I'm still a little skeptical. I know, even though I'm literally sharing everything with him, I've never spoken on call or video with him. Maybe some day.

04/03/2014

Dear Diary, I got a new phone and a new number. The previous one was one of my parents multiple numbers but this one is my own. I feel like an adult, hehe!! I made a whatsapp, maybe I'll share my number with Maxie and we might start chatting on there. Google plus had become a bit of hassle and I'm not uploading on it like I used to. I usually only open it to talk to Max. I think it would be better to shift it to another service. He's been a little busy this year compared to the last, didn't tell me much but I think it has to do with him being in his final year of high school. Can't relate, but I hope I'm done with high school soon. It fucking sucks. But on the bright side, I've gotten close to Nia and Aria and I could call Aria my best friend but she considers Nia her best friend. I don't mind being her friend. I have Max anyways.

Max has been quite busy lately, but I don't blame him. I would be busy in my final year of high school too. Even with all that, he has taken time out to talk to me. I did share my number with him, so now instead of google plus, which is a barren wasteland, we text on whatsapp. I've suggested talking on call some time when he's free, which hasn't happened yet.

We had set up a time to talk, it was really early here but I didn't mind, I was up anyways. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. I was anxious as well, what if he's some pedophile; all these thoughts raced through my head when my phone rang. Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Fuck was he flirting, is this flirting? A million thoughts ran through my head, no one's ever flirted with me before. I felt my cheeks heat up. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. There was a pause on the other end. I heard shuffling. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! The conversation flowed smoothly. It didn't feel like we were talking on call for the first time. I had a lot of fun talking to Max. He sounds like a teenager, much to my relief. He's just as funny on call as he is on text.

After that, we ended up calling each other regularly. Max would answer my calls whenever but sometimes I felt bad about calling him at the crack ass of dawn in Netherland so I would avoid calling him whenever. He is so kind and listens well but damn does he talk. Every one who knows me calls me talkative, if they heard Max their ears would bleed. But I like hearing him talk, he has the most random and vast knowledge, he's helped me write too many of my papers because I didn't have to research, I could just ask him; he's like a walking encyclopedia.

17/05/2015

Dear Diary, I think I'm in love. It's not some celebrity this time but I think it's Max. I don't even know that dude's last name but I'm in love. He not like the guys in school, he's so mature and funny and sweet and understanding and he supports me so much. I didn't know when or how but I think I love him. Obviously I won't tell him. It's prolly a crush since I have't dated anyone ever. I'll get over it, can't ruin my friendship over this. As is, he has gotten so busy. I think he is going to college. He didn't say it explicitly but why else would he be so busy right now if not applying for colleges. I don't know the dutch education system but I'm sure he busy pursuing higher education. He said he liked cars, I think he'll do something with cars. I didn't really ask in more details. I'm sure he'll tell me when he wants to. We have a chill friendship, we share when and what we want to. Alas, I hope this crush doesn't ruin my friendship.

09/08/2015

This is bad, my crush on Max has only gone on to increase. He's so kind to me, what am I supposed to do? Also he's the only one who can calm me down after a fight with my parents regarding my future. Sadly, he gotten so busy. He's gone for a while every few weeks. But lately he's been free. We've been talking a lot. He sounds a lot more rested lately too. I'm sure college is tough. But he's strong and I know he'll do it.

[Little did Y/N know, Max was busy racing across the world in Redbull's junior team. He was in his first year as a formula one driver, hence he was so busy. Max had no intentions of telling her, he liked being just Max, a guy from Netherlands who could talk to her. He enjoyed the disconnect he got with her]

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Animal reference photo compilation concept test!

I've been saving this project for a new website I'm planning, but that's been delayed by the grindstone of capitalism, so I'm going to set up this part early. This is the concept test for a repository of reference photos of a whole bunch of different species of exotic animals.

For every 50 or so photos I take of an animal, there's generally only a couple that I like and are also in focus and also framed correctly. But that led me to realize... all those slightly blurry or off-center photos are probably a great set of references for people interested in general shape/form/movement for their art! So I'm setting up of the idea before fully committing the time into making it happen.

I've been going through my photo backlog and pulling out the shots I think will be useful for art references. Lots of them show posture, facial movement, close-ups of feet or eyes, and walk cycles, but also other behaviors like jumping or drinking. They're not perfect - there's often stuff out of focus or reflections on the glass - but I think they'll still be useful for art?

The link below is to the Dropbox where I'll host these photos until I eventually get that new website/project up and running. Right now I've got folders of four species uploaded for this test: California Condor (CW for carcass feed photos), Jaguar, Komodo Dragon, and Moose. Please go check them out and tell me what you think!

~~WADTT Animal Reference Photos Dropbox Link~~

What I'm looking to learn from y'all is:

Is this type of reference photo repository useful / worth doing?

Do these photos work or are they too blurry/wonky/there's too many?

What things would make a project like this better? (Caveat, it has to stay on Dropbox for now).

If this turns out to be as useful as I'm hoping, and the photos work, I've got a whole bunch more species to upload.

[pinguwrites]

𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔' 𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒆 ⸻ Chapter Two

series masterlist. previous chapter. next chapter

𝒑𝙖𝒊𝙧𝒊𝙣𝒈 | francis mosses x reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 1.5k

Warnings: lowkey hating on a girl, mention of church and God bc it's the 50s and that's what they did

A/N: Would you guys rather me upload short chapters frequently or long chapters but it takes more time in between?

It was twelve in the afternoon, and you hadn’t seen Francis yet. You were worried that something had happened, maybe he got hurt in his apartment, hit his head and was bleeding on the floor, or maybe slipped and sprained an ankle, but you couldn’t just call his number to make sure — that would be unprofessional. Not only that, but the most likely case was that he left earlier than you got to work, which used to happen a lot when you first started working here.

In the meanwhile, you sat at your desk, trying to pass the time. There wasn’t much to do, and you found yourself thinking of Anastacha and what she had said last night. You reasoned with yourself that she was just getting your hopes up high. She was a little girl and didn’t know anything at all. But now that she had said what she said, you couldn’t get it out of your head. The thought of Francis liking you back . . . did he daydream about you like you did? Get nervous when talking to you? When he worked, did he miss your presence?

Ugh. How come he could torture you like this, consume your mind and heart without knowing what he was doing? It wasn’t fair. For once, you’d like for someone else to feel that way about you. To spend their every waking hour, every slumber, feeling the way you did. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when the elevator bell rang. Attention perked, you hoped that it was Francis, and as if your wish was granted, it was.

He walked out, glancing over at you. You tried to look nonchalant, but inside your worries were relieved. So he was okay. Everything is fine.

Before he could approach you, however, he was blocked by another woman. You internally rolled your eyes as you saw Selenne strike up a conversation with him. The Svertch twins were models, quite famous, actually. They were well-known within the city. The most tiresome part of your job was probably shooing away the paparazzi, convincing them that it was another Selenne and Elenois who lived in Sama Place, not the celebrities they were thinking of. 

Elenois was nice enough. She was a little full of herself, but you were sure that came with the job. After all, if you earned money just because of how pretty you were, you would have an ego as well. But her sister . . . oh, her sister was far worse. She was always rude to staff, making passive-aggressive comments all the time, and you knew for a fact that she didn’t like you. It may have been because you were a woman, and she didn’t like women very much, despite being one herself, but you were sure it had to do with much more than that. 

When you thought about how grateful you were to work in a place like this, you always forgot about Selenne, and how miserable she made you feel. Maybe that was the price of having a reasonably good job. There was always a downside to everything.

You watched as she flirted with Francis. He looked mildly uncomfortable, a little stoic in his expressions, but that was how he always looked. What Anastacha said last night was true — he was nice, but a little aloof. Maybe he was enjoying whatever conversation he was having with Selenne, only it didn’t show on his face. You wondered if that’s how he looked when he was talking to you.

“Ah, there you are!”

You looked to the side and saw your boss approaching you. His name was Samuel Brogan. He was a rather short man, with a tanned complexion and thin lips. He had coarse, straightened hair, and a stubble on his chin. He was the one responsible for hiring you. He owned Sama Place — at least, he was in charge of this specific building. 

“This is where I always am,” you responded, and he laughed. 

“Sorry, darling. I don’t expect a person to be able to sit in that chair all day.”

You gave a polite smile. You never really liked Samuel, call it instinct, but he was your boss, so you had to be nice. 

“You’re not busy this weekend, are you?” he asked, leaning his arms against your desk. Shifting uncomfortably, you glanced over at Francis again, but he was still talking to Selenne.

“I was planning on . . .” Not able to come up with a lie quick enough, you gave up. “Not doing much. I just want to go home and relax — it’s been a long week.”

“Yeah, yeah, I understand. You’ve been a wonderful employee, I want you to have time for yourself.”

You stared. Where was this going?

“But I need you to work this weekend,” he finally said, and your heart dropped.

“I don’t understand. What about that teenager you hired?”

On Saturday, he didn’t need someone working full-time. Sundays were reserved for Church and God, obviously, so for that one day, he hired a kid who was willing to work with little pay to just sit at the desk and make sure everything was going smoothly. 

“He got sick,” Samuel explained. “It’s just an extra day, and it’s only half your usual hours.”

Reluctantly, you agreed. You were sure you wouldn’t get any compensation for it, but it wasn’t that bad. 

“Oh, and I need you to run a few errands for me,” he added, setting down a list of items in front of you. “Whenever you can, but have it by the end of this week.”

He left, and you sighed. 

Picking up the list, you scanned through it. Wallpaper, a toolkit, canned fruit? Surely he didn’t expect you to pay for this out of your own pocket . . .

You folded the note and put it in your pocket, just in time for Francis to approach you. You looked around for Selenne, but she was already walking out of the building with sunglasses.

“What were you two talking about?” you blurted out, feeling immediately ashamed of yourself afterward. What were you thinking asking that kind of question? What would he think of you?

Francis looked taken off guard for a moment, but he answered anyway. “Oh, nothing. What were you and Brogan talking about?”

“Nothing,” you responded pettily. 

It was quiet for a moment, that kind of awkward silence that you hated.

You relented. “Alright, he wants me to work tomorrow, and run some errands. That’s it.”

“Selenne was curious about my work. I told her that I had taken a day off and was going to visit my parents,” he said.

“Now, that wasn’t too difficult, was it?” you teased, reveling in the way he averted his eyes.

“No, ma’am.”

God. The way he said it. He was so beautiful, in every possible way. Sometimes, you wished you could keep him in your room forever.

“Do they live nearby?” you asked. “Your parents, I mean.”

“Somewhat. I’ll be back before nightfall. I’m sorry Brogan is making you work the weekend. If you want, I’ll convince him to change his mind.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. It’s not like I was planning to do much tomorrow. Just fix some furniture and do a bit of housekeeping.”

“Fix furniture?” he repeated. “I don’t think you should be doing that. You could get hurt.”

You giggled. “I’m not a dainty princess.”

He frowned. “I know. I don’t mean to undermine you. You’re a very capable woman. It’s just that . . . I would feel better if someone was there to help you.”

“Mhm. And who’s gonna do that?”

Francis looked up at you with expectant eyes. “I’m free Sunday.”

You paused, not believing what he was saying. Was he offering to come over to your place? Him? Inside your house? The place you slept and changed your clothes and took baths . . . Lord, you didn’t know if you could handle this intimacy. Was it even right? Oh, who were you kidding? You didn’t care if it was acceptable or not. If Francis was offering to spend time with you (help you fix furniture, but whatever) there was no way you were going to turn down that offer. 

“Yes,” you said, more eagerly than you liked. “I could give you my address and you could stop by around eleven?”

He smiled. “Mmm. Alright, then,” he agreed. “I look forward to seeing you.”

“Me too.”

He gave a slight tip of his hat, a motion you could have fainted at had you not been sitting on a chair, and left, leaving you with nothing but the anticipation of this Sunday.

Imagine him — shirtless as he nails screws and lifts planks of wood. I’d give him cool lemonade as he worked and watch him as he wipes the sweat from his forehead . . . For the rest of the day, you couldn’t get the image out of your head. You greeted your neighbors as they walked by, and helped the occasional person with a problem, but all that was floating around in your head was Francis, Francis, Francis.

Taglist: @Meetmeatyourworst @hanawrites404 @Emimurphy2008

[bvtbxtch]

I Can Make You Scream | Eddie Munson

Day Three of Kinktober

Summary: Your first collaboration (a Halloween special) with one of the most popular cam boys, Eddie, leaves you breathless and waiting for the next shoot with him.

wc: ~6.7k (I got excited)

Pairings: camboy!Eddie/pornstar!Eddie x camgirl!reader

Warnings: This is literally all smut minimal plot, so 18+ MDNI!! Cam sex, blood and biting, fangs, lingerie, spitting, markup, overstimulation, not being able to cum, light bondage (restraining hands), softdom!Eddie, choking, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, squirting, protected p in v sex (wrap it up, folks). This is purely porn with a plot.

Shout out to my darling partner @darknesseddiem who will be posting their 15 prompts later in October. It is my honour to collab with you!

The knock at the door sent lightning bolts straight to your core. You hurry your way to the front door, ensuring to check that your makeup and hair looked perfectly effortless. You took a deep breath to exhume any last minute nerves before you opened your door. 

-

You had moved to Indianapolis from Detroit for school, but very quickly found out the hard way that college was not your thing. Now being stuck with the bill for a new apartment and no scholarships to foot the cost, you had to do what you always had thought about doing. At least now you had an excuse, right? You uploaded your ID and personal information to camwow.com, one of the most popular porn cam sites in the states. You bought yourself a new magic wand from the sex store down the road and took the plunge. Little by little, you gained a following. Money, brand deals and collaborations flooded through you. But the one rule you made for yourself, was you would only do solo work. 

Things changed when you looked at your private inbox. There sat a message that you had to look at four or five times to make sure it was real. The name “metalhead_munson” with a little blue checkmark sat bolded in your inbox, the subject stating plainly: hey :) You had heard of Eddie before, he was only one of the most famous cam workers on the site. Eddie’s message was professional - transactional almost:

I caught one of your shows the other night and was thoroughly impressed. I was going to be in the Indianapolis area on the 30th. My management is giving me a couple of days of free time and I would love to film with you. We could film on my channel and we could split profits 50/50. I would link your profile in the livestream so hopefully we can get your followers up. If you could give me the number to your agent so we can set this up, that would be great.

Cheers,

Eddie Munson.

Your heart raced as you read and reread the message. You didn’t have an agent. You barely knew what you were doing… but he was impressed? Did that mean that he was turned on? Did a huge cam star jack off to your stream? After hours of screaming into your pillow, dancing around your living room and staring at the email, you conjured up a response. 

Hello Eddie! Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot coming from such a big personality on the site like yourself. I unfortunately don’t have any agent contacts but I would love to work with you - thank you for the opportunity! I am free any time around halloween, but was planning a themed stream, if you’re interested?

You signed the message with your phone number and encouraged him to call or text you any time. You couldn’t deny that you hoped he would call. You had seen Eddie’s stream before, it often gracing the front page on camwow. The girls that he often had on his stream were beautiful, more beautiful than you, you imagined. But apparently you knew how to work your body in a way that got you some recognition. So you thought, fuck it? Why not see where this might lead. 

It was 2am when you received a call from an LA area code. You hastily picked up the phone and put on the sweetest most professional voice you could muster up.

“Hello?” You breathed.

“Hey, um is this Y/N?” The baritone rasp had your breath caught in your throat.

“Yeah, that’s me.” you let out a nervous giggle.

“Hey, It’s Eddie. I just wanted to touch base about the messages on camwow. You still up for it? I’d love to meet you.” His voice made your blood run cold. Even over the phone, the man oozed confidence and sex appeal. You couldn’t help but be intimidated. 

“Cool, yeah I would like that a lot. Umm, what did you think about the halloween theme I had thought about? If it’s stupid, we don’t have to but if you wanna I’d-”

“That’s a great idea, honey.” honey “I got a few ideas. I’ll text them to you, okay?”

“Cool, yeah. Sweet..” You were tripping over your own words, your brain short circuiting from the pet name. 

“Great, doll. Don’t be too nervous, okay? I know this is your first collaboration, but we can go slow if you want.” Although there was a lightness to his tone, you didn’t feel judged. You took a deep breath and thanked the man on the other end of the phone. You stayed frozen on the line long after he had hung up, unsure as to what had just happened. You’d see him on October 30th.

The next day Eddie had sent you four or five ideas that he had based around your halloween special. You both agreed on one and as much as the anticipation was killing you, your belly swirled with aroused excitement. You couldn’t wait for the two weeks it would take for Eddie’s arrival.

-

You swung your door open and your heart skipped a beat when you looked at the sight in front of you. There stood the man you had lost sleep over. He loomed over you in the frame of your door, but his lopsided smile eased your nerves. He donned a loose fitting white tee just sheer enough that you could see faint dark tracings of ink on his torso. His alabaster skin complimented the purple and green veins adorning his hands. The man twisted the chunky rings on his right hand. Your mouth watered thinking about where those fingers might be within the next few hours…

“You gonna let me in, or what?” His grin spread to a shit eating smile that immediately made you feel at home in your body. You gave the man a puzzled look as he shuffled past you into your space. Embellishing his canine teeth were fangs. Eddie noticed your confusion.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. They’re fake and they won’t hurt… that much” You follow him into your apartment as he takes in the sights. There was something magnetic about the mop headed man. You followed him around your puppy even though you were in your own house. You snapped out of your daze to remember you also needed to be (at least) a competent host.

“Can I get you anything to drink or anything?” you ask. He politely waved you off as he plops down on your sectional. 

“It’s a nice place you got here, doll.”

“Uh, thanks.” You awkwardly shuffled towards Eddie and sat yourself on the opposite edge of the couch. 

“So, I usually like to go over what we will and won’t do before we go get comfortable. Is that okay?” Eddie offered. There was no sense of annoyance or impatience with you. He was the perfect gentleman, which was making it harder and harder to focus on functioning like a normal human being.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, I haven’t really done this before… but I guess I’m down for anything as long as we kind of chat about it first.” Eddie laughed at your bluntness. You hid your face in your hands and let out a soft giggle. You were nervous and embarrassed but not by him. Eddie rose to his feet and offered out his hands to you. You peered out of your hands and grabbed him with a curt smile. You let him pull you up and you suddenly felt breathless while he was invading your space; but it wasn’t a nervous energy. It was new and scary but you felt oddly at ease with the gorgeous stranger in front of you.

“Wanna show me to your studio?” he said with a wink and a genuine smile. You dropped your hands from his and began to walk to your room - which you had spent hours cleaning leading up to Eddie’s visit. You even went as far as getting new bedding to make your room look ‘cooler’.

You opened your door and let Eddie take in the sights. He took a few steps into your room and hovered to your small bookshelf nestled in the corner of your room. He eyed over your bed, cameras decorating different sides of the bed, their wires treading to your computer. Then his eyes softened when his eyes trailed to you, standing in the middle of your room, hands locked together in anticipation. God he couldn’t wait to devour you, but there was another foreign pang in his chest. 

“You okay? You still wanna do this, right?” Eddie stepped towards you, nervous that you were going to change your mind. 

“No! No, god no” You blurted, maybe a bit too aggressively. “I just…I just don’t know where to start.”

“Well before we turn on the camera, we should get more comfortable,” Eddie offered. You nod your head enthusiastically as the man stalks towards you, coming almost chest to chest with you.

“Can I kiss you?” His eyes looked pleading. You stared up at him with your bright eyes and he felt that pang in his chest again.

“Y-yeah.” you gasp. Eddie’s hands trailed up to your cheeks and he brought his face close to yours, giving you a split second to pull away from him if you wanted. You closed your eyes in anticipation of a forceful kiss, but you almost flinched in surprise of the man’s lips caressing yours. His lips were soft and warm, you felt like you could melt into him. His touches were careful, like he didn’t want to scare you off. You both pulled away and you couldn’t help the smile that grew across your face. You were surprised to see the same one mirrored on the brunette’s face. He cleared his throat and gestured to the bag sitting in your living room. 

“So, I uh- I brought costumes - like not crazy ones, but something just a bit different… you know, to add to these…” The man smiled and pointed to his prosthetic fangs. 

“Y-yeah, I did too, if that’s okay.”

“Sure. I’ll go to the bathroom and change, and I’ll leave you to it. Just open the door when you’re ready for me, okay, Honey?”

“Yeah, sure Eddie,” You gave Eddie a warm smile and he turned to leave you. “Um, Eddie? I uh…. I wanted to let you know that the main reason I do my cam stuff alone is because I have some performance anxiety.” You looked down at your socked feet in anticipation. You half expected Eddie to laugh and walk away; but he was suddenly back and tilting so your eyes were met with his deep brown ones.

“Doll, there’s no pressure at all. Let me make you feel good and if you come, I’ll be stoked. But if you don’t then we can stop and never talk again. Or if you just wanna stop let me know, okay?” You couldn’t sense any judgment in Eddie’s tone or his eyes. You felt dumb for blindly trusting someone you only just met in person. Eddie sauntered out of your room and gently shut the door. You turned to your closet to grab the dainty lingerie hanging neatly on the rack. You slid your jeans and tee off of your body and crumpled them into your hamper. You take off your panties and bra and quickly slide the teddy over your body. You stepped foot into your ensuite to give yourself one final look over and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in admiration. 

The soft pink lace held your tits in place, giving you a delicious cleavage. The corseted bodysuit hugged your waist perfectly, while the lace detailing let a small peak of your skin embellish the lingerie. The frilly lace straps adorn your shoulders that made you look almost virginal. Perfect. The small mesh skirt emphasized your waist. You turned to look at your ass, looking perky and perfect. You looked perfect. It was just what a vampire needed for a sacrifice.

You padded out of your ensuite to your bedroom door. You opened it and called for Eddie to join you whenever you were ready. You sat yourself at your computer and booted up camwow.com. You hated to admit, but your heart was in your chest. You shook with excitement and anticipation. You felt Eddie’s presence in the frame of your bedroom door and you turned to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat while you drank in his form.

He stood leaned tall over your doorframe. His pale skin was now on full display, highlighted by small drips of fake blood. It seemed, to your delight,  he forgot a shirt for his new costume. His toned abs framed a well trimmed treasure trail to where you wanted to see him the most. Highlighting his bulge were a pair of leather pants that caressed his curves perfectly.  His curly hair laid on his broad shoulders. He looked like an adonis. His eyes darkened as he bathed in your appearance, but his lips fell slightly open in awe. 

“Well don’t you look good enough to eat” Eddie teased as he kneels onto your bed. 

“I could say the same to you, Eddie.” your voice was saccharine sweet. Eddie couldn’t wait to hear how sweet your moans would sound…

“So, we’re all set up camera wise, if you just wanna log into your account, we’ll be good to go.” You stood up from your desk chair and Eddie’s brain short circuited. You looked delicious and he couldn’t wait to make you fall apart. He played it cool as he switched you spots and you perched on the edge of your bed. 

“So, I have some rope and stuff too… is that okay?” Eddie’s voice had become thick with lust. He could hardly contain myself. You hummed in agreement. “Oh, and… I gotta say, doll. You’re looking delectable, but there’s a big part of me that wants to rip that thing off you. You okay if I tear up that little number? I’ll buy you a new one.” His eyes turned from the screen and looked pleading, like he would die if he didn’t get the chance. Lucky for him, the thought of him ripping clothes off you went straight to your core. 

“Yeah… I’m sure we can make something work.” You giggle. Unable to control your giddy anticipation. Eddie raised slowly from the computer, and you saw the small red light appear on the cameras fixed around the bed. It was show time. 

“You tell me red light if you need me to stop, okay?” Eddie’s voice rasped, just above a whisper. “We’re gonna start and I’m gonna move a little fast. You ready?” He stood above you at the end of the bed, his chest was heaving. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you nodded up at him.

“Use your words, pretty girl.”

“Yes, Ed-”

“That’s sir to you, unless you want to be punished.” Eddie’s voice thickened with pure sex, making a shiver travel down your spine. 

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie leaned down by the end of the bed and grabbed two pieces of black velvet rope. Before you could compute what he had in his hands, he was climbing onto the bed on top of you, pushing you back towards your headboard. 

“Good girl. Make this easy and it won’t hurt as much. I’m hungry…” Eddie growled, his eyes fixed on you, pupils dilated like you really were his prey. He grabbed your wrists with one hand and slammed them above you onto your headboard. He tied one of the velvet ropes tightly around your wrists. You finally caught your breath and were able to comprehend what was happening. The boldness washed over you as you let go of your anxieties. You gave Eddie a devilish smirk then instantly twisted your face into one of horror.

“Please sir, don’t hurt me. I promise I’ll be good and do whatever you want.” You saw Eddie flinch at your words like they were wax burning his skin: a surprise, but a welcome and unexpected one.

“Keep your hands there and I won’t have to tie you down further then.”

“Yes, sir.”

Eddie smiled widely to reveal his fangs to the camera positioned at the side of your bed. He held his hands up to your throat and pressed down just enough to send static to your brain. You felt the cool sting of his rings that he kept on his body, but felt another surprise: adorning his pointer and middle fingers were rings that rested on his upper knuckle and formed into pointed claws. The sharpness sent another type of coolness across your skin. The glint of the metal poked into your neck and you hissed as Eddie continued to press into you. The delicious feeling of oxygen deprivation is topped only when Eddie presses his mouth to yours. You moan into him, all of your body already felt under the mop head’s control. 

Eddie’s mouth moved expertly against you, breaking the seal your mouths had to give you brief moments of breath. He pushed his tongue further into your mouth and you felt your body go numb, all feeling going to your already throbbing core. You wrestled with Eddie’s tongue in your mouth, eliciting a moan from him. You couldn’t wait to watch your recording back again and again just to hear his moan. Eddie bit down onto your lip and pulled hard. You whimpered at the sting and you tasted a metallic tang in your mouth. You went to lick your lips to rid of the small slit of blood sitting on them but Eddie grabbed your jaw and ran his tongue across your lips with a satisfied moan. Eddie looked you deep in the eyes, a silent check in, and what he saw filled him with excitement that went straight to his hardening cock. Your eyes had darkened with lust, already kiss drunk from him.

Eddied trailed his kisses from the side of your mouth to your jaw, to the pulse point by your ear. His mouth was saccharine sweet on your skin, like it belonged there. But in true Eddie fashion (as you’re learning), the sweet was often mixed with heat. You were just melting into his touch when Eddie took a hard bite down on your neck, eliciting a yelp of pain from you. You could feel two small streams of cool liquid trickle down your neck. You began to hyperventilate from overwhelm. Eddie softly grabbed your cheek for you to lock eyes with him.

“Relax angel, the hard part is over. You’re doing so well for me, I gotta be good to my girl… especially…” Eddie leans down to your neck and takes a long swipe up the side of your neck. “When you taste so good” The man’s smile was now tinged with the red of your blood. The lust had finally taken over your body and you happily submitted. You pulled Eddie’s mouth to yours feverishly. You pushed your tongue into his mouth. Your sweet mouth was now tainted with your own metallic taste. When Eddie pulled away, you both looked in satisfaction at your matching stained lips. It took Eddie a moment to compose himself and remember he had a scene to shoot. He sat himself up on his calves and ran his clawed fingers across your collarbone with enough pressure to send a constellation of goosebumps to form across your skin.

“I think we should get this off of you, so I can see you better.” Eddie groaned as he traced his fingers between the valley of your lace-covered breasts. You looked at him dough eyed and scared, but there was a glimmer of lust and wanting in your eyes. You really were going to drive Eddie insane. 

With a quick flick of his wrist, and added pressure to (what he was beginning to think was) your offending garment, to rip down the middle of your torso to your belly button, exposing your hardening nipples. You let out a gasp, the lines of fear and lust blurring further. Eddie’s mouth was immediately on your sensitive skin, his mouth danced across your left nipple while his hand pinched your right. You were barely cognisant of the small bead of blood still dripping down your torso. Eddie kissed his way down your stomach to the meeting of where your body was bare and clothed. He sat back up in fake disdain. 

“Now, this won’t do. I gotta taste that pretty pussy after your sweet blood. You need a reward, and I need my dessert” 

“Please Ed-”

“Ah, ah ah….” Eddie interrupted. His hands hovered over your hips. You were desperate for him to touch you, little did you know, Eddie was desperate to drop this facade and feel you clench around him.

“Please, sir. Touch me, please.” You whined. Eddie was happy to oblige you. He let a low chuckle escape his chest. 

“Since you asked so sweetly, and since I can see that you have already wet through these little panties you got on, I need to taste you.” Eddie took his claws and hooked the mesh covering your pubic bone and dragged down. Once he had a big enough hole he removed his clawed rings and tore the whole crotch of your lingerie. The cool air hitting your core made you shiver. You were suddenly more self conscious than you were before. You instantly remembered that you were on display not only for Eddie but for thousands of people. Almost immediately, Eddie looked up from between your thighs.

“Hey” he whispered quietly enough that cameras couldn’t pick his rasp up. “It’s just you and me, okay?” You gave him a small nod to keep going. 

Eddie quickly turned his gaze back to your glistening core. He pressed a smaller, gentler bite into the flesh of your thigh, eliciting a moan that was music to Eddie’s ears. He liked the mix of pleasure and pain, but hearing your gasps of pure ecstasy was something he definitely thought he could get used to… but he couldn’t think about that right now - wanting to spend more time with you. It was time to use you like a plaything. Plus, how did he know that you would ever want to see him again. 

He shook his head to physically shake the idea from his mind and ran his middle finger through the middle of your slit, which made you a moaning mess for him yet again. Eddie turned himself to the camera and held up his hands with your slick on it. 

“Look at how messy she is for me.” he popped his finger into his mouth and sucked down “mmmm, and so sweet too.” he cooed. He ran two of his fingers back into your folds and stuck them deep into your mouth. You moaned at your own taste, spurring Eddie on further. 

“Oh, my little dinner date is a slut, eh? I guess that means we should treat you like the succubus you are.” Eddie’s words went straight to your core and you clenched on nothing. Eddie let out a low chuckle into the apex of your thigh, sending shivers up your spine in anticipation. You silently begged for him to touch you where you wanted him the most. Your hips bucked in a last ditch plea for relief - and Eddie luckily gave it to you. 

With little warning, Eddie’s mouth attached to your clit and sucked hard. Eddie’s mouth worked expertly at your core, his tongue probing you in ways you didn’t know were possible. You were almost embarrassed, you were a moaning mess underneath him; but you felt too good to care. Your vision was going fuzzy and your chest heaving. You couldn’t help the elicit moans escaping you. You couldn’t help but make eye contact with the camera and you couldn’t help but let a smile escape you.

Your smile was wiped from your cocky face when Eddie stuck his tongue deep in you. Your eyes crossed and your breath hitched. It felt like you were being suffocated with pleasure. Your tied hands flew to Eddie’s hair and you pulled hard, desperate for something to ground you. Eddie moaned into your pussy and you could feel your finish rapidly approaching. You made the mistake of looking down at the mess of hair between your legs and the sight you saw flew you over the edge. The slender hips that sprawled across your bed were rutting into your mattress, his back heaving in desperation. Your blood ran white hot, stars flashed over your vision. A euphoric groan was ripped from your chest. Eddie’s assault didn’t let up once the waves of pleasure became overwhelming. Eddie moaned into your cunt as he tasted your essence. You shuddered under him as you pulled up on his hair, in an attempt to seize his raid on your body. 

“Awww, was that too much for my little plaything?” Eddie growled. His hand flew up to your neck as he crawled his way back up your body. The pressure he squeezed onto you made another flutter flow directly to your lower stomach. Eddie had a talent of pushing you dangerously close to the edge of unconsciousness - a sense of bliss and fear all in one. Your fucked out face looked delicious to Eddie, still stained red with your blood. He leaned down and smashed his mouth into yours. You could taste the remnants of your orgasm and his desperation forcing its way into your mouth. You pulled away with a gasp and looked up at Eddie with your best puppy dog eyes. 

“Can I taste you now, please? Please sir?” you croaked. Eddie could come in his pants right now. He took a gulp and sent you an ear splitting, fanged smile. Willing away his urge to cum in his pants, he took some deep breaths while he undid his tight pleather pants and shimmied them down his lithe waist. His hard cock sprung free and Eddie let out an audible sigh of the relief it brought him. Your hands automatically drifted towards the man’s waist a mere inches away from you.You felt a sting against your wrists as Eddie slammed them back against your wall. You felt your shoulders scream at you from their sudden hyperextension. Eddie barked a dark laugh as you pouted. 

“Play things don’t get to touch. They get to be used.” Eddie ordered. He reached his free hand to tilt your neck backwards to give him purchase for another love bite. You cried out as hot blood trailed back down your clavicle. Eddie pulled away and his face looked similar to yours: your own crimson blood dripping down his chest. 

“Open.” He demanded. Your bottom lip quivered but you obey the man over you. You stick your tongue out. Eddie places his reddened cock onto the flat of your tongue in a hiss of pleasure. His tip felt heavy on your tongue; a salty sweetness that you were instantly addicted to. He was thick, his length equally impressive, and an anxious excitement panged in your throat thinking about how he was going to fit. Eddie slowly slid himself further into your mouth. He ignored your silent pleas to let you adjust to him in your mouth and continued to push into you until your nose was nestled against his manicured bundle of hair at the base of his cock. Your eyes pricked with tears and your throat closed around Eddie’s cock - eliciting a low groan from him. You are granted a brief moment of relief when Eddie slid his cock back out of your mouth, only for your deep gasp of air to be interrupted by him slamming back into your mouth, making you gag and making his dick twitch. Suddenly, Eddie grabbed the camera on the closest tripod and pointed it down at your face. 

“Look at this good girl… taking me so well.” The camera framed (what Eddie thought was) your perfect face, suctioned around Eddie’s cock. He stilled inside you, giving you an opportunity to suck hard and swirl your tongue around his tip. His precum dripped down your throat. Tears freely flowed down your cheeks. Your throat was screaming at you, your nostrils flared in desperation for air. Your throat constricted and relaxed around your scene partner.

You were in pain, his cock stretching your mouth to the absolute breaking point. You looked up and into the man’s gorgeous brown eyes in search for any more praise - begging for any movement, pleading for some sort of release. As much as your body was screaming at you, you had given yourself over to absolute pleasure. You loved the pain, the submission. In that moment, you knew you would do anything for Eddie - anything he asked any time. In that moment, there was a deeper connection than just two people fucking. You were his and he knew it. He could do anything with you, but he wanted to worship you just as much as you were worshiping him. He fastened the camera back onto the tripod, unsheathed himself from you and flopped onto his back beside you.

“Come on then, doll. Show me how much you want me.” Before Eddie’s words could leave his mouth, you were back on him, but you took it slow this time. Your doe eyes had darkened and you were ready to show him just how much you wanted him.

Your tongue ran up the underside of his achingly hard cock. Eddie hissed out praise as you wrapped your lips around Eddie’s tip and hollowed your cheeks. You hummed in satisfaction against him as you bobbed your head. Every suck, every kitten lick, you poured your heart into. You were hypnotized, obsessed, by the moans and praises escaping the head of curls on your bed. You thought he looked like a painting; ringlet curls splayed across your pillows like a crown, flexed biceps framing his face like a beautiful frame, his shirtless torso mimicked that of a marble statue. His abs flexed a contoured trail down to his member, his alabaster skin strewn with black markings. The finishing detail of this piece of art was the blood - your blood stained on his chin and neck. It was like your own signature on this masterpiece.

You were snapped out of your trance by two large hands cupping the sides of your face. His cool rings were like small slaps to your face. 

“As much as I want you to taste me, doll, I need to cum in that pussy. I need to mark you as my own.” Eddie untied your wrists and pulled you up so you were face to face and on top of him.

“I just got to get a condom” he whispered in your ear, ensuring the camera couldn’t pick up your conversation.

“Don’t. I got birth control” you purred, you kissed the sides of his mouth down to his neck.

“A-are you sure, doll? I mean I’m clean but I don’t want you to feel obliged.”

“Eddi- I mean - sir, I want you to cum inside me please. Make me yours.” You knew you were playing a role. This was all for show, but some of it felt real. There was truth in the words you spoke to him. You wanted to be his fully. 

Eddie slid himself up your headboard and he pulled your thighs up towards him so you were straddled on top of him.

“Okay, doll. Show me how well you ride that cock and you won’t get another bite tonight.” Eddie challenged. You agreed, it would be a challenge. Eddie was the largest guy you have ever been with. The wave of intimidation and nervousness flowed through you again. You felt a tight squeeze on your hips and Eddie’s eyes prodded for your gaze. When his golden brown irises met your glowing green ones, he gave you a reassuring nod. It was just the two of you.

You lowered yourself onto Eddie’s cock, slowly sheathing him inside you. You couldn’t control your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You felt deliciously full and you had only lowered yourself halfway. You could tell Eddie was concentrating on keeping his cool. His brows were furrowed and his tongue peeked through his blood stained lips. Beads of sweat were beginning to form under his curly bangs. Eddie peered up at you and immediately lost his composure. His grip became bruising on your hips and he slammed your body into his, pulling moans from both of you. 

Your eyes screwed shut in a mix of pleasure and pain. Your mouth hung open in a crooked smile. Your chest heaved, Eddie was worried your lungs were going to burst out of your chest. The shards of your lingerie dangled behind you like angel wings. An angel you were. Eddie had never felt this way about one of his conquests before. His heart was racing because of the thought of the money he was going to make from this gig, but he now felt another infatuation with you.

“Show me how you ride a cock, babe. Take that cock.” he cooed. You ground down on him, the friction of his base on your clit sent tingles all across your body. Eddie squeezed harder on your hips to ground himself. It was now his turn to be self conscious. He was going to bust way quicker than he wanted to if he didn’t find something to calm him down. He couldn’t look at you - his eyes insisting on staying screwed shut. He helped guide your hips up and down on his cock. 

“Fuck, sweetheart. You’re taking me so well. Squeezing me so tight… f-fuuuck it’s like your pussy was made for my cock, eh?” his assault of praises went straight to your core and yet again you felt yourself teetering closer and closer to the edge. Eddie’s name was like a hymn, you couldn’t say anything other than ‘Eddie’ and ‘please’. A satisfied smile ripped across Eddie’s face. His fangs glinted underneath you. The man snaked his dexterous fingers to where your bodies met. A few expert circles around your sensitive clit had you seeing stars again. You clenched down on Eddie’s cock, hurling Eddie dangerously close to his own release as well, but he wasn’t done with you. He guided your hips to grind down to guide you through your orgasm. 

Before you have time to come down from your high, Eddie flipped you over so he was looming over you.

“You have one more for me don’t you, pretty girl?”

“E-Edd, Sir I… I don’t think I can.” Eddie could look at your fucked out frown all day. Little did you know, he was studying every detail of your face so he could remember it later.

“Well sure you can. You’re gonna show me right now.” Eddie’s voice was more soothing than before. His face had softened slightly and his eyes were bright. He pulled your left thigh above his shoulder to assault your pussy at a deeper angle. Eddie’s rhythm was relentless and quick. Your sensitive pussy was quivering already, and had little to no time to recover from your previous orgasm.

“E-Eddie oh my god.” The angle of his cock hitting your g spot repeatedly had a whirlpool of pleasure and pain brewing in your core. You felt like you were going to float away. Eddie pulled himself out of you, making you whine from the emptiness. His cock was quickly replaced with his fingers and your legs dropped around Eddie’s waist. He angled his middle and pointer finger expertly inside you. If you thought his cock was relentless, Eddie’s fingers were just as, if not faster. The palm of his hand rubbed against your clit and you screamed out in overstimulation. You didn’t know if you wanted the assault to stop or to go harder. 

The wind was knocked from your chest as Eddie’s other hand pushed down on your pubic bone. With a yelp, you felt a white hot flash like you had never felt before. Your body shook and it felt like molten lava was coursing through your veins. 

“Fuck yeah, baby! That’s it, fucking good girl.” Eddie’s excitement was palpable. He stuck his cock back into you to feel you contract and flutter around him. Just your comedown was enough to make Eddie cum inside you. He pumped cautiously, cumming hard but using the shred of control he had to make sure he didn’t hurt you. He pulled out slowly, and leaned forward to give you a tender kiss on the forehead. Soon he collapsed beside you, both of you a mess of heavy breathing, your release, and his. 

Eddie guided you to sit up in front of a camera.

“Show them your neck, doll. Show them how good you did for me.” You craned your neck to the side, turning your face towards Eddie’s. The man reached out and cupped your cheek. You couldn’t help but melt into his touch. He then stood up for your computer and ended your stream.

“Sorry… I, I’ve never done that in my life…” your cheeks flourish in a red blush as you begin to explain to the man standing in front of you, pants now lazily covering his softening erection.

“Doll, I know you didn’t mean to. I wanted you to do that for me. It was fucking hot” Eddie reached for your hands and helped you up. You fell against his chest, your legs too weak to fully hold you up.

“Invoice me for some new sheets, okay?” Eddie winked at you. “Come on, let’s get you in the shower and let’s clean up.” 

You grabbed clean towels for the both of you as Eddie warmed the water to the shower. You sheepishly climbed in and waited for him to join you. You thought the man would fuck you, get up and then leave with as little as a ‘see you’... or a ‘you’re welcome’. But he stayed, and seemed like he genuinely wanted to stay. He helped wash you off, the warm water washing away any insecurities you felt after your shoot. You both talked about how much you enjoyed yourselves and how well you did for your first partner scene.

“I can’t lie champ, I’m pretty impressed.” Eddie poked at you while you both sat on your couch, pizza on the way, a blanket enveloping both of you in more warmth.”Sorry about your neck, though.” Eddie nervously chuckled and ran his hands through his damp curls. You grabbed Eddie’s hand and redirected his energy to you.

“Eddie. I liked it. I would have told you if I didn't, I promise. It was honestly the best sex I’ve had.” You admitted with a small blush highlighting your cheeks. To your surprise, Eddie’s face was redder than yours. 

“Can I ask you something kind of insane?” Eddie asked.

“What’s up, Eddie?”

“Can I kiss you? Like actually kiss you?” His eyes were pleading, he was already starved of your lips on his. He wanted to show you how much he liked being around you, even if you had only been together a half a day. You nodded slowly, a shy smile reaching your lips, but adoration in your eyes. 

Eddie’s lips were soft and gentle against yours. He didn’t want to scare you off by being too forceful. His mouth melded to yours like he was the only person you were meant to kiss. His arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you in close. His hand migrated up your face to softly cup your cheek. Time had slowed down and the only thing that mattered was the boy you were attached to; once a stranger, to someone you didn’t want to be without within the span of a few hours. 

“So, I can only extend my stay in town for a couple of days.” Eddie whispered after (begrudgingly) pulling his mouth from yours. “Can I take you out tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Eddie. I would like that… as long as you leave the fangs in your suitcase next time.”

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[justrikiss]

sweater weather .. dallas winston x reader

fem!reader x toxic!dallas winston "it's too cold for you here.."

warning(s): toxic relationship! dallas keeps trying to push reader away but she won't budge, and he's js like "?? why r u still here" because he's TERRIFIED of love or commitment. things change toward the end though(?).

a/n: i have woken again to post for you guys 🥰 this is true dedication bc i started this at 1:03am and it's now 2:50 at the time of officially uploading this (with this a/n cause it's an edit). first i was gonna talk ab how dilf matt dillon is, then i was gonna make matt hcs, THEN i was gonna do dally hcs, and FINALLY i decided on writing this because toxic dallas is stuck in my headdd😣. i am a FIRM believer that dallas winston is EITHER loverboy softboy around reader OR cold toxic bf that is afraid of commitment and love because of his past in new york. NO OTHER WAY TO PUT IT!

dating dallas, you knew whaat would come with it. no, not just the constant "gettin' it in with the fuzz" or his repetitive fights at buck's on a thursday night, but the laid back "ya know i don't love anythin'" motto he always has going on. you and dallas had probably broken up 5 or 6 times in the past month. either he'd be out with another broad, or he'd be dismissing your feelings again and telling you "i mean i like ya, doll. that's close enough to what you're talkin' about, right? i mean what's love anyways? don't say things you don't understand.."

you'd recently just gotten back together with dallas. you'd broken up with him because you found out he was hitting on another girl, this time a soc named cherry valance.

well, in due time another argument would come up. so here you are, arguing with dallas again because you told him you loved him again and finally snapped at his unbothered, half-assed response.

"dallas i don't understand!" you yelled. "all i try to do is get you to love me because that's what a relationship is all about! i do everything for you and give you chance aftter chance. but no, you just HAVE to keep it up like you care about nothing i do for you!! what's the point dallas? why knock my heart around just 'cause you can't commit to anything?" by now tears welled up in your eyes, but your anger overshadowed the embarrassment you might have crying in front of dallas.

"i don't have to keep nothin' up doll, that's just me. man i thought this love problem you got goin' on in your head was a one time thing. if i knew you were always gonna be so emotional and stuck on tryin' to get love all the time then maybe i wouldn't have dated you at all!" dallas yelled back. you scoffed as you walked up to him, even angrier than before.

"god i hate you dallas! you're not fucking cool, and one day i hope you wake up and see that! the world isn't all bad you just make it out to be that way so you can have a reason to be miserable. i hate it all, and the thing i hate the most is that you just can't love me after all i do!" you gave dallas a little push at the last part. at this point, you couldn't stop the tears from flowing as you grabbed your stuff and walked home. not to mention, the whole argument was in front of the curtis' house. who needed tv when you had your weekly dallas and yn drama, huh?

seemingly on queue, rain started to pour, drenching you in water. you let out a huff in annoyance as you finally made it to your house, slamming your front door behind you.

meanwhile dallas stood in front of the curtis house still, watching you walk away. he tried to act like he didn't care, but deep down he knew he did. "did she get home safe? is she alright? man, i messed up. god, im a jerk. do i love her?" were the questions racing through his mind. he didn't know wether he should run to your house or keep going about his day like nothing happened.

the sound of the curtis' screen door closing brought back dallas' attention as darry walked up to him, trying to give whatever advice he could. "hey dal, maybe you guys should call it quits or somethin', i mean-"

"hey man how 'bout you shutup, alright? mind your own." dallas clapped back, interrupting darry. darry seemingly understood his defeat as he raised his hands in surrender and backed up into the house. all the guys asked what was going on, and as a response he just sighed and shook his head.

..

about an hour later you heard a knock on your door. assuming it was your best friend marcia, since you'd called her a couple minutes before to sleep over, you opened the door without checking who it was. to your surprise, you were met with dallas.

in his hand he had a rose, definitely stolen, some soda (i say pop where im from but whatever..), and a box of milk duds, also probably stolen.

you scoff out of shock before finally speaking. "dally? what's this?" you asked. dallas just rolled his eyes and responded "just let me in the house, man i wouldn't even be caught dead doin' this for anyone.." you couldn't help but grin as you let him in, closing the door behind him. yeah you guys had previously argued but, it felt good to be in dally's presence again..

you both took a seat on your bed, sitting in silence for a bit. finally, you decided you'd had enough of the tension. "so, you gonna explain where all this came from" you asked, pointing towards the items he'd brought you. "just thought i'd do somethin' nice man, that's it." he leaned back onto your bed a bit. "oh, sure okay." you responded dryly.

dallas sat back up and scooted towards you. "yn.." he said, making you look up and respond with a simple 'hm?'. "listen, i care about you alright? but you gotta stop with the saying you love me. i'm not a good guy and i don't do right all the time. you gotta love someone who ain't like me, alright?" you frowned at his words. "dallas, the way you see yourself is totally different than how i do. i know you've been through a lot that you'll probably never tell me about, but that doesn't mean anything in my eyes. i do love you and i won't stop saying it cause i know one day you'll say it back. sometimes you're a little cold, sometimes it's too cold for me here...but i'll keep tryin' anyways dally." you turned away from dallas as you spoke, tears filling up your eyes yet again.

dallas sighed and stayed quiet for a bit, seemingly thinking about what to say. finally, he replied "yeah, alright. hey ask me again in the future. maybe my world'll be different and i'll think about it, huh?" you told yourself "at least it was a start" as you nodded in response to dallas' words.

finally, you'd decided to move onto dallas' lap. he grinned as he leaned in to kiss you. and you guys kissed for a while too. dallas didn't need to say it, but you knew he loved you deep down.

and he knew it too.

yet still, you both awaited the next argument to come. after all, he's still (somewhat) the same old dally. only difference is you both knew he cared about you a bit (and sorta loved you too).

[damienns]

My GIF Making process: Screen capturing using MPV player, Organizing files, 3 Sharpening settings, Basic Coloring PSD + Actions set

This is a very long post so heads up.

I’ll try to be as thorough and true as much as possible to the way I make my gifs (I already use Photoshop Actions which I’ve long since set up but now for this tutorial I’m reviewing them to show you the exact steps I’ve learned to create my gifs 😃) and present them to you in a semi-coherent way. Also, please bear with me since English is my second language.

First things first. Below are the things and tools we need to do this:

Downloaded 4K or 1080p quality videos (let’s all assume we know where to get these—especially for high definition movies and tv series—so this post doesn’t get removed, okay? 😛)

Adobe Photoshop CC or the CS versions can work as well, but full disclosure I haven’t created gifs using the CS versions since 2020. I’m currently using Adobe Photoshop 2024.

mpv player. Use mpv player to get those frames/screenshots or any other video player that has a screen grabber feature. I’ve used adapter for the longest time but I’ve switched to mpv because the press to screenshot feature while the video is playing has been a game changer not to mention ultimate time saver for me. For adapter you need to play it in another video player (like VLC player), to get the start and end timestamps of the scene you want to gif which takes me ages before I can even open Photoshop.

Anyway! Please stop reading this post for a moment and head over to this amazing tutorial by kylos. She perfectly tells you how to install and use mpv player, both for Mac and Windows users.

One thing I have to share though, I had a tough time when I updated my MacOS to Sonoma since MPV is suddenly either duplicating frames or when I delete the duplicates the player seems to be skipping frames :/ I searched and found a solution here, though it didn’t work for me lol. My workaround for this in the meantime is decreasing the speed down to 0.70 then start screenshotting—it’s not the same pre Sonoma update but it works so I’ll have to accept it rather than have jumpy looking gifs.

Now, after this part of kylos’ tutorial:

you can continue reading the following sections of my gif tutorial below.

I want to share this little tip (sorry, this will only cater to Mac users) that I hope will be helpful for organizing the screenshots that MPV saved to the folder you have selected. Because believe me you don’t want to go through 1k+ of screenshots to select just 42-50 frames for your gif.

The Control + Command + N shortcut

This shortcut allows you to create a new folder from files you have pre-selected. As you can see below I have already created a couple of folders, and inside each folder I have selected screenshots that I want to include in one single gif. It's up to you how you want to divide yours, assuming you intend to create and post a Tumblr gifset rather than just one gif.

Another tip is making use of tags. Most of, if not all the time, I make supercorp gifs so I tag blue for Kara and red (or green) for Lena—just being ridiculously on brand and all that.

Before we finally open Photoshop, there's one more thing I want to say—I know, please bear with me for the third? fourth? time 😅

It's helpful to organize everything into their respective folders so you know the total number of items/frames you have. This way, you can add or delete excess or unnecessary shots before uploading them in Photoshop.

For example below there are 80 screenshots of Kara inside this folder and for a 1:1 (540 x 540 px) Tumblr gif, Photoshop can just work around with 42-50 max number of frames with color adjustments applied before it exceeds the 10 MB file size limit of Tumblr.

Sometimes I skip this step because it can be exhausting (haha) and include everything so I can decide visually which frames to keep later on. You'll understand what I mean later on. But it's important to keep the Tumblr 10 MB file size limit in mind. Fewer frames, or just the right amount of frames, is better.

So, with the screenshot organization out of the way, let's finally head over to Photoshop.

Giffing in Photoshop, yay!

Let’s begin by navigating to File > Scripts > Load Files into Stack…

The Load Layers window will appear. Click the Browse button next.

Find your chosen screenshots folder, press Command + A to select all files from that folder then click Open. Then click OK.

After importing and stacking your files, Photoshop should display the following view:

By the way, I'll be providing the clip I've used in this tutorial so if want to use them to follow along be my guest :)

If you haven't already opened your Timeline panel, navigate to Windows > Timeline.

Now, let's focus on the Timeline panel for the next couple of steps.

Click Create Video Timeline, then you’ll have this:

Now click the menu icon on the top right corner then go to Convert Frames > Make Frames from Clips

Still working on the Timeline panel, click the bottom left icon this time—the icon with the three tiny boxes—to Convert to Frame Animation

Select Make Frames From Layers from the top right corner menu button.

So now you have this:

Go and click the top right menu icon again to Select All Frames

Then click the small dropdown icon to set another value for Frame Delay. Select Other…

The best for me and for most is 0.05 but you can always play around and see what you think works for you.

Click the top right menu icon again to Reverse Frames.

I think Photoshop has long since fixed this issue but usually the first animation frame is empty so I just delete it but now going through all these steps there seems to be none of that but anyways, the delete icon is the last one among the line of feature buttons at the bottom part of the Timeline panel.

Yay, now we can have our first proper GIF preview of a thirsty Lena 😜

Press spacebar to watch your gif play for the very first time! After an hour and half of selecting and cutting off screenshots! 😛 Play it some more. No really, I’m serious. I do this so even as early (lol) as this part in the gif making process, I can see which frames I can/should delete to be within the 10 MB file size limit. You can also do it at the end of course 🙂

Now, let’s go to the next important steps of this tutorial post which I’ve numbered below.

Crop and resize to meet Tumblr's required dimensions. The width value should be either 540px, 268px, or 177px.

Convert the gif to a Smart Object for sharpening.

Apply lighting and basic color adjustments before the heavy coloring. I will be sharing the base adjustments layers I use for my gifs 😃.

1. Crop and Resize

Click on the Crop tool (shortcut: the C key)

I like my GIFs big so I always set this to 1:1 ratio if the scene allows it. Press the Enter key after selecting the area of the frame that you want to keep.

Side note: If you find that after cropping, you want to adjust the image to the left or another direction, simply unselect the Delete Cropped Pixels option. This way, you will still have the whole frame area available to crop again as needed and as you prefer.

Now we need to resize our gif and the shortcut for that is Command + Opt + I. Type in 540 as the width measurement, then the height will automatically change to follow the ratio you’ve set while cropping.

540 x 540 px for 1:1

540 x 405 px for 4:3

540 x 304 px for 16:9

For the Resample value I prefer Bilinear—but you can always select the other options to see what you like best.

Click OK. Then Command + 0 and Command + - to properly view the those 540 pixels.

Now we get to the exciting part :) the sharpen settings!

2. Sharpen

First we need to have all these layers “compressed” intro a single smart object from which we can apply filters to.

Select this little button on the the bottom left corner of the Timeline panel.

Select > All Layers

Then go to Filter > Convert for Smart Filters

Just click OK when a pop-up shows up.

Now you should have this view on the Layers panel:

Now I have 3 sharpen settings to share but I’ll have download links to the Action packs at the end of this long ass tutorial so if you want to skip ahead, feel free to do so.

Sharpen v1

Go to Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen…

Below are my settings. I don’t adjust anything under Shadows/Highlights.

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.4

Click OK then do another Smart Sharpen but this time with the below adjustments.

Amount: 12

Radius: 10.0

As you can see Lena’s beautiful eyes are “popping out” now with these filters applied. Click OK.

Now we need to Convert to Frame Animation. Follow the steps below.

Click on the menu icon at the top right corner of the Timeline panel, then click Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips

Then Convert Frames > Convert to Frame Animation

One more click to Make Frames From Layers

Delete the first frame then Select All then Set Frame Delay to 0.05

and there you have it! Play your GIF and make sure it’s just around 42-50 frames. This is the time to select and delete.

To preview and save your GIF go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy)…

Below are my Export settings. Make sure to have the file size around 9.2 MB to 9.4 MB max and not exactly 10 MB.

This time I got away with 55 frames but this is because I haven’t applied lighting and color adjustments yet and not to mention the smart sharpen settings aren't to heavy so let’s take that into consideration.

Sharpen v1 preview:

Sharpen v2

Go back to this part of the tutorial and apply the v2 settings.

Smart Sharpen 1:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.3

Smart Sharpen 2:

Amount: 20

Radius: 0.5

We’re adding a new type of Filter which is Reduce Noise (Filter > Noise > Reduce Noise...) with the below settings.

Then one last Smart Sharpen:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.3

Your Layers panel should look like this:

Then do the Convert to Frames Animation section again and see below preview.

Sharpen v2 preview:

Sharpen v3:

Smart Sharpen 1:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.4

Smart Sharpen 2:

Amount: 12

Radius: 10.0

Reduce Noise:

Strength: 5

Preserve Details: 50%

Reduce Color Noise: 0%

Sharpen Details: 50%

Sharpen v3 preview:

And here they are next to each other with coloring applied:

v1

v2

v3

Congratulations, you've made it to the end of the post 😂

As promised, here is the download link to all the files I used in this tutorial which include:

supercorp 2.05 Crossfire clip

3 PSD files with sharpen settings and basic coloring PSD

Actions set

As always, if you're feeling generous here's my Ko-fi link :) Thank you guys and I hope this tutorial will help you and make you love gif making.

P.S. In the next post I'll be sharing more references I found helpful especially with coloring. I just have to search and gather them all.

-Jill

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS after goodness knows how long, Knox Commissions are finally Open!

There are 5 Slots Available for this run. [August 17th 2024.] If things go well I hope to open more in the future!

If you'd like to see more examples of my art feel free to scroll through my art tag #KNOX ART (me)

Update [sept 23 2024]: 3 slots available

[T.O.S below cut]

Terms of service

01 - General Terms

• Prices are subject to change based on demand.

• I have the right to reject any order for any reason.

• I may not respond to e-mails/messages or do commission work on Sundays.

• Do not share my personal/legal information (my legal name etc.) with any third parties. If you do you forfeit your right to the commission and you will be blacklisted from ever commissioning me again.

02 - Payment

• The currency accepted is CAD or USD and can be paid through PayPal, or Kofi.

• Commissions can be paid either 100% upfront or split 50% upfront and 50% after sketch approval.

• Don’t send me any payment before I have agreed to give you a slot and requested you to send me the payment.

03 - Process & Delivery

• ​The time it takes to finish your commission varies 1 week - 3 months depending on factors such as health, the complexity of the commissioned piece, other work, and personal matters.

• Once the piece is finished you will receive the full-resolution image. Note that there is no physical product.

04 - Revisions

• You get 3 rounds of changes on the commissioned piece included in the price.

• A fee will be added if you want something changed on the final drawing - unless a misunderstanding from my side has been made.

• If you wish for me to change something in the drawing you have previously approved, I will charge you a fee to change it. The amount of the extra charge depends on the change you want me to make and is usually based on an hourly wage.

• If your reference is unclear to start with, changes will come at an extra charge.

05 - Copyright & Usage

• I, "Knox" (the artist):

• I reserve the right to cancel and refund the order at any time for any reason.

• I retain all copyrights over the commissioned artwork.

• I will NOT claim the intellectual property (IP) of the commissioned artwork (your characters are still yours, etc.)

• I will NOT profit further from the commissioned artwork unless you (the customer) break any of the terms.

• I reserve the right to post the commissioned artwork online, in my portfolio as well as in publications such as art books.

• You (the customer/commissioner):

• You may upload the commissioned artwork on any website and social channels.

• You may NOT make profits from the commissioned piece (reselling, redistributing, uploading to POD-services, making prints for selling, using in a monetized youtube channel thumbnail etc.)

• You may NOT alter the commissioned artwork without my (the artist's) consent.

• You MAY be allowed to sell the artwork if it is a part of an Adoptable. Please discuss this with me (the artist) prior to paying for the artwork though.

• You retain the rights to the intellectual property (IP).

• You may NOT use the commissioned artwork for commercial purposes.

• The following is considered copyright infringement:​

• Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially - means making money off it in any way not excluded from these terms.

• Claiming the artwork as your own

• Altering the artwork without my consent (making changes by hand or through AI generation etc.)

• In some cases, the commercial rights to the image may be purchased.

06 - Cancellation & Refund policy

• The buyer is not allowed a refund once I have started working on the commission.

• If for any reason I am unable to start your commission you will receive a full refund.

• If you cancel your order before I started it, you can get a full refund.

• The kill fee for cancelling the commission after work has begun is 50% of the commission's price. The client then receives the work as is.

• If the buyer wishes to cancel the commission after the work has started, the buyer can be issued a refund but agrees to pay the kill fee.

Paypal specific:

• If you are getting a refund, do not request a Paypal chargeback. I will transfer the money back to you myself.

• If you request a Paypal chargeback at any point when you were not allowed to ask for a refund you will lose all aforementioned rights to the commissioned piece and I will have the full right to profit further from it in any way. I will decline the chargeback and supply Paypal with our conversations in which we talk about the commission as evidence that I have completed work for you. Furthermore, you will be blacklisted for commissioning me again.

By commissioning me you acknowledge that you have read through the Terms of Service and agree to abide by the terms stated as well as accept the outcomes stated if the aforementioned terms are violated at any time.

[u3pxx]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S 2024?!?!

next, you're gonna tell me it's gonna be some made-up year like "2025" next. tch, imagine that.

anyways, whoo! 2023! compared to both 2022 and 2021, i gotta say, my art style took a hard swerve in some direction this year. i mean, look at that klavier from january and that butch kim from just this december! (granted, i heavily referenced the portrait of butch kim but still, i didn't use to paint! mama mia!)

---

the way i drew faces has definitely changed, that's what i get for getting into something that's live-action and into smth that has realistically proportioned art lol

OH! OH! HOW COULD I FORGET!!! IT WAS (and still will be) THE YEAR OF THE OLD MAN!! i really learned how to draw aged faces this year! ach fraulein, i have not stopped drawing people in their 40's-50's! i would say "send help" but i'm actually having a lot of fun ASKSKS

---

i think a funny thing about these art summaries i've done is that they're mostly ace attorney but then there's just a month where i become a different type of ill LMAO this year it was four months for the price of two new interests!

cheers! here's to 2024!!! hope y'all have a fun art year!!!!

---

i'm gonna ramble more below about like, other art things i did this year but i'm gonna put it under 'keep reading' bc this baby is getting way too wordy now WHEEZES

1. FAVORITE THINGS I'VE DRAWN THIS YEAR (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

⚖️ mea culpa comic [x]

drawing this one was so time-consuming and ambitious but boy, do i love the end result! i had fun doing the inks for this one but was it a lot! i usually color in lineart and render everything but i had to stop myself from doing it for this one bc man, i'll die asksks

this also has some of my favorite apollos i've drawn, definitely

also! the part about the lineart not being colored and no rendering ended up being a deliberate stylistic choice for this one bc i had like more freedom to do just shadows with inks without it looking too out of place.

💐 my lawfully wedded zine spread [x]

now this one isn't out yet but take my word for when i say that this is one of the most craxy things i've ever drawn for this year, on account of drawing a comic AND group shot all in one!

also literally one of the prettiest things i've rendered this year, lookit that klav...

🎉 aa4 redraw - 2022 anniversary [x]

kind of like my wedding zine piece, group photos are insane, and rendering like uhhh [looks at drawing] 11 CHARACTERS IS ALSO INSANE if i try and draw a group photo again you have to stop me DFGHDJ

🎨 my art fight stuff [x] [x]

was possessed in the month of july or smth bc i pumped out like how many drawings so quickly (before i got burnt out that is pftt)

pace yourselves and don't be like me pls ajshgdghhjk

💥 people park day [x]

my friend told me that it was very obvious i watched across the spiderverse when they saw this FDFGHJD

but yea! this is when i started getting really into like, thought bubbles or just like, panels or drawings within a drawing when coming up with layouts

i still love the colors on this one...

🪩 fem disco portraits

ok so i haven't uploaded these yet but you have to trust me when i say that something was in the water DFGHDJ

who knew that all it took for me to learn how to paint was butches

2. ALSO DID YOU KNOW THAT I SOLD STICKERS THIS YEAR IN OUR UNI'S ART MART?

THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THAT SCHOOL I SWEAR PFTTT this experience has also awaken the merch beast in me and i need to make more physical things for my brain to be happy, that's just how it be pfttt

hopefully next year i can actually start like a shopee shop or whatever lmao

3. ART FIGHT

i'm actually quite happy i got to participate in art fight this year! very delighted for all the art i've gotten and very fun to have drawn for others too!!

4. ZINES

i got invited and joined so many zines from 2022 continuing to 2023 that i kind of got burnt out from participating for now ngl ASKSKSKS not gonna be joining much this year oopsiessss! (unless i lose self-control [very likely])

5. SCHOOL

i don't actually like a lot of the stuff i draw for art school bc i tend to cram and not have fun pftt <- adhd moment, tragic! but here are some that i actually kind of like lol

6. THAT'S IT!

i think that's it! thanks for reading all the way down here!! o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

[kittyslvs]

NOTHING NEW ; SATORU GOJO

pairing: satoru gojo x fem reader word count: 1k (1029) summary: she always gave him everything, and never received anything. mari´s note: i wrote this about two weeks ago, but i got stuck. maybe if i upload it, inspiration will come back to me and there will be a second part lmao

After Suguru's incident, Satoru was never the same, it was logical. He felt alone and with no one to listen to his lament; a lie.

Lie, because y/n was always there for him; as his friend, as his lover for a few nights, as a classmate; but Satoru always took every sign of affection from the girl, and threw it away; because what she gives to him, means nothing. Nothing new to the young girl, but it ached in every nerve in her body just the same.

Y/N knew about this, but she always hoped that Gojo's attitude would change, and apparently after that, it did, apparently.

The white-haired man always called her at the end of the night, and she, hopeful that he would finally see what she had to give him, she always went, again and again; but she always came back with the thought of "tomorrow will be the day". It wasn't.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months; the hope and affection for him was waning. It seemed that y/n was the white-haired man's plaything of personal satisfaction and relief; y/n felt like shit, she felt that her personal worth was reduced to whatever a man wanted to give her, crumbs.

She had tried to talk to him about the situation, but the brave Satoru Gojo always evaded her, getting angry or ignoring her for days, only to call her back and go back to his routine.

At this point, she felt like a living dead, nothing new.

the clock on her wrist read 1:50, she had no reason to be awake at that hour; if not for the "recent" argument with the boy. Her face was full of tears, her eyes swollen and her cheeks red; she blamed satoru, but more she blamed herself for allowing him to have that effect on her.

And the stupidest thing was that they had been there before, in that fight, in that moment. Honestly, y/n felt she no longer had dignity; she had lost it when she accepted his haughty attitude countless times.

Y/n grabbed her phone, wiped her tears and left her room on her way to the kitchen, her steps were slow and listless; she felt that if she stayed in her room a moment longer, she would die. For Satoru was so audacious to go to her house three nights ago, take her with fake "I love you's" and more to her room; but, he was drunk, she wouldn't do that with him being almost unconscious, that's when Satoru pushed her, throwing her to the bed and started to take out everything he had inside of him.

"Please 'toru, you're drunk" the girl spoke while holding his face, so that he would stare at her. "You can barely stand on your own."

Apparently the latter was the worst insult for Satoru, who stared at her with rage in his eyes, took a few steps back and pushed the girl, who fell on her bed, surprised by the man's reaction.

"Don't you dare say that, I can hold my own, I can do everything by myself" as he spoke he staggered softly and pointed at her with anger and repudiation. "I am not like you… Of course not, I'm not a person who can't stand on his own, who needs someone to give him false declarations of love to feel enough. I will never be you." As his words went on, so did the woman's tears run down her cheeks. Although Satoru's voice was slightly stuttering, he could not hide his hatred for the young woman.

Seconds passed in silence, Y/n staring painfully at Satoru, as he stood in front of her face; the man sketched a smile and grabbed her cheeks, being drunk and angry he did not mediate his strength.

"Look at you, youre weak, I am your weakness and I always will be. No matter how many times I use you and discard you at dawn; you will always return to my call, isn't that sweet?" He ended with a chuckle as he roughly wiped away the young girl's tears.

Y/n felt humiliated by her great love. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and with the little strength she had, she removed her dirty hands from his face, took her own hands to that area, backed as far as she could on her bed and began to whisper.

"Get out of here..." she could barely understand herself, but she knew that he was listening to her, who only approached her with slow steps and a smile on his face.

"I didn't hear you, can you repeat that?" he spoke with sarcasm in his voice, thanks to the liquor in his system.

The young woman gritted her teeth and smeared her nails on the palm of her hand, to look at him with the same hatred he was directing at her.

"I said go away!" she shouted as she threw a pillow at the man's face. "You're not strong, you're nobody to come and say all that to me and in my own house! Or don't you remember who was there for you after what happened with Suguru? Who was feeding you? Because you were so depressed you could hardly speak. Or that you don't remember" finally y/n was able to respond to his attack. "You and I are the same, Satoru" She finished by unburdening herself a little with him, who had a face of stupefaction and regret. They spent a few minutes in that position, both standing there staring at each other, with many things to say but not wanting to fight anymore.

Y/n broke the silence, with a whisper-like murmur, his voice trembling from the crying produced by the albino.

"I think you'd better leave, Gojo" he in response turned on his heels and walked out of her room, then out of her house. And that was when she was finally able to let out her pent-up emotions, crying for a long time.

She still couldn't believe Gojo's cynicism, and it pained her to know that everything he said was true, "drunks and children don't lie".

uploaded 28/11/2023 ; 3:41 pm like and repost if you like it !!!

[thefirstknife]

Man. This week.

There's a few things I want to point out again that are really cool and the first is that once you finish the story and get the radio and the lore tab and everything, speak to Failsafe again. She'll give you an "epilogue" quest which requires you to find secret stuff in Encore. There's 8 of them, and all of them are voice recordings of Maya and Chioma from when they had a normal happy life. And they're all absolutely incredible and devastating. They're not uploaded anywhere that I can find yet, I'll try and put them here later with transcripts unless people put uploads online.

These are really important to me because they keep reiterating that there was a time (and Maya) that used to be fine. It's the woman Chioma loved and her transformation into the Conductor is almost an anomaly of only one of the Mayas. The others, even other copies from the Vex Network seem to be different and fine.

Anyway, we tried to find this Maya's Chioma, but it turned out Maya already tested her and rejected her, thus killing the one she was looking for. But I really like how it's done because Chioma wasn't just helplessly clueless in this; she had her own agency and made her own decision upon realising what Maya had become. More under:

So that's okay. Dies.

But the thing is that this is true only for this one Maya, the Conductor one. Other Mayas and other Chiomas are fine. This is really interesting in the dialogue you get for the last chest:

This is the 87th copy of Maya who is looking for 50th Chioma copy. This is fascinating because it means that .87 Maya lost her Chioma and found another. Multiple others even! She mentions how she's become a widow many times over, which means she bonded with multiple other Chiomas just fine. And now she's looking for the .50 one, hoping she's still out there.

And some of them are still out there! There's more Mayas and Chiomas still in the Network and at the end in the lore tab, it's discussed is that Osiris and Saint are going through the Vex Network looking for them.

But before that, our confrontation with the Conductor! She does manage to control us, but Saint breaks free. And he said the line!

He's the only one ever actually. But the thing is, we didn't exactly kill her. She went back into the Network and she took the Echo with her. So that's probably not good overall.

There's a really nice message after from Failsafe who doesn't really want to say goodbye, but also realises that she doesn't have to rely on other people to feel like there's a point in going on. She can go on for herself. Which definitely didn't make me cry (lie).

And Saint also confirms after that Maya is still around:

And Saint being Saint:

Also from Ikora from the radio message, really important stuff:

Lore tab is really cool as well! Some absolutely hilarious bits with Nimbus and Failsafe and I need more interactions between them now:

She shrewdly routed the message alerts to her external display screen. "Nimbus, buddy—" she began. "Hint taken," Nimbus grinned, spreading their huge hands wide. "I'll let you get back to your whole being-a-ship thing. If you see Osiris, tell him Jisu Calerondo is looking for an interview about his sick bird hat. Or, no, say that the CloudArk is losing integrity and only the biorhythms from, like, a truly old and decrepit dude will save it!" "I'm on it," Failsafe said, and pushed an ASCII image of a thumbs-up to her display. Nimbus laughed and gave Failsafe two enormous finger guns as they transmatted out.

Failsafe's reaction to Eido sending her a message as well:

She puzzled next over a message from House Light Scribe Eido, as it did not appear to contain any discernable requests. She marked it for non-urgent reply and sorted it into one of her new subfolders: SOCIALIZATION (PLATONIC).

Then there's Osiris with the information that he and Saint are looking through the Network for Maya and the Echo. It's a really good one for closing the episode.

But as I said, there's still an epilogue quest which requires going into Encore again and finding "anomalies" which contain recordings between Maya and Chioma that killed me in one hit.

There's also a secret triumph this week that can be unlocked and it relates to the Whisper portal, but it's a secret so if you don't want to google around, basically: load into expert Encore and head to the Whisper portal location. The door will be closed, but there should be the Whisper exotic perk icon above it. If you equip Whisper, the door will open and then you can go through the portal which will be active. Once you do that, you'll have 35 minutes to complete Encore on expert to unlock the secret triumph and get an emblem we were wondering about last week. No need to do the extra puzzles or anything, just complete the mission.

I really enjoyed this episode overall as it hit all the right interests for me. Really good cast, loved the return of Failsafe, absolutely died over everything in regards to Saint and Osiris and how close and physical they were allowed to be on screen so much (which is, btw, the first time they've done so. We've had lore tabs and the kiss cutscene and all, but Saint and Osiris have never actually been together on screen in this way before, as all previous appearances was Savathun or them just standing next each other or just them together on comms; the level of physicality and contact and all the stuff they talked about is so important as we've not really had anything like it before).

Absolutely incredible that we got to see Maya and Chioma, what they looked like and all their interactions, especially the epilogue ones where we got a glimpse into how their life was before everything fell apart. And with the knowledge that there's more of them in the Network, I will continue to believe that somewhere out there they're still living a happy life. And Ikora agrees:

Getting to hear these two together on comms and getting so many updates and information about them was an incredible treat. They've been such foundational and important characters to Destiny since the start. We knew about their relationship since the beginning, even back in the day when queer content was really, essentially, not allowed and pushed under the rug. But Maya and Chioma were there and we got to learn so much more about them. A lot of it really heartbreaking, but a lot of it also really nice.

I hope Maya and her Echo will continue being in the story in some way in the future. There's also a question of her Vex Collective as well and what she's done to the Vex in general, but also specifically the Precursors. I wonder if we'll get more into that eventually when the Vex are back as a threat (because in a way, they have to).

[kentocidal]

50. (Fluff) "this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you." with Katsuki Bakugo

uploading file bakugou50.txt . . . upload complete !

this file contains the following key words: hurt/comfort but vaguely, mostly fluff, bkg comes back from a mission and you’re still there for him

internal message: i love bakugou. i love mha it’s a sick brainrot i have. if there’s any errors don’t say them to me i’m sick ok. leave me alone

new notification ! @kaedescara @yaekiss (want your own notification? send me an ask off anon!)

he came in through the window.

you were sleeping, or at least trying to, considering your bed always felt empty when he was away on long missions. not to mention the fact that you were worried because you hadn’t heard from him in, like, five days, but who’s counting?

you were. you were counting. five days 18 hours 31 minutes and 17 seconds without hearing back from one mister katsuki bakugou, the love of your life, one of the biggest pro-heroes in japan.

it hadn’t been uncommon, not by a long shot, but you hated it nonetheless.

however, in the present, it was as if he had heard your stuffy dreams and worries and came back to your aid, pushing up the window from outside (you didn’t have a balcony, by the way) and landing on your bedroom floor with a low thump.

you sat up straight in bed, now on high alert, ready to activate your own quirk at the intruder, but instead you were met with the darkened figure of your beloved. you sucked in a small breath as his eyes caught the streetlights just right.

he looked… he looked completely lost. a shell of himself.

he came back like this sometimes. not always, because he was older and more resilient now, but… sometimes he came back empty. and him climbing through the window and staring at you in the dark just goes to show that this was one of those times.

“katsuki…” you sighed softly, trying to make light of the situation, “you’re back. you scared the shit out of me, you know.”

he just stood there for another moment before wordlessly dropping his gauntlets to your bedroom floor, one at a time, making you flinch at the weight of them hitting the ground. “kats, what did i say about dropping your stuff like that? you’re gonna put holes in our floors.” 

he grunted in response, sucking his teeth as he kicked one boot off, then the next, and you watched as something dark smeared across the floor. dirt? blood? you weren’t sure. you didn’t want to know. 

bakugou moved then, finally closer to you, his large, lumbering form suddenly dropping to his knees at your bedside and making you take in a breath of worry. “katsuki? what’s going on? what happened?”

you shifted closer to the edge of the bed, and that simply allowed him to scooch closer to you and drop his cheek to your lap over the covers, reaching for your hands.

you blinked at him. he must have seen things you’ll never know of. he’ll keep it to himself, most likely, no matter how hard you try to get him to open up.

your one hand found its way to his hair, your other entwining fingers with his. you scratched his scalp, felt the sweat and the grime of fighting. his hand was wet and you hoped it was sweat. you couldn’t tell in the dark.

“you’re an angel.”

“what?” you carded your fingers through his hair and squeezed his hand. 

“you’re a fuckin’ angel, that’s what i said.” he snapped right back at you, but there was no edge to it. “you’re always waitin’ for me to come back ‘n shit. even when i probably smell disgusting.”

he did, but that was besides the point. “honey, it’s okay. i understand. just because i wait for you doesn’t make me an angel. makes me a damn good partner, though.”

“i’m going to marry you,” he mumbled into the blankets over your lap, burying his face more into your clothed thighs, and you squeaked softly.

“katsuki, are you- i think you’re still running on fumes. adrenaline. don’t make promises you don’t want to keep.”

"this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend my life with you." he shifted his head in your lap to look up at you with those carmine eyes you had known for years by now. “i will. i’m gonna fuckin’ marry you. soon, too. i’ll do it right. shit like this makes me know i will.’

you felt your cheeks warm as you petted his hair in the dark, smiling softly at him. “i know you will. i’ll let you marry me… if you shower before getting into bed tonight.” “let me stay here for a little longer.”

“i am.”

[joekeerysguitar]

erasing the lies

not friends/slight enemies to lovers <3

overview: you are an a+ student who is well rounded, very disciplined, and hard working gets asked to tutor the most obnoxious, lazy, and rude boy who ever stepped foot on this planet… steve harrington. unable to say no, you help him.. but what you uncover is something completely unexpected..

included: angst, fluff, mutual feelings, happy ending, cursing, relationships, use of y/n

authors note: heyy everyone! sorry about not uploading or writing anything in a longggg time. i’ve been super busy lately and just trying to enjoy the summer but i’m back! came up with this super cute idea and i hope you enjoy! thank you for all the love on the rest of my fics!! much love, nina <3

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“Mhm… yes.. she’ll be down shortly” The phone hits the receiver as your teacher spins around catching your eyes. “Y/N, the principal would like to see you.” She smiles her fake toothy grin as she resumes her lesson.

You feel the eyes on you as you quickly stuff your bag with your notebooks and pencils trying to get out of being the center of attention. You could hear the slight whispering of the class which feeds your inner thoughts.

“Oh shit, what did I do?”

“Am I in trouble?”

Quickly shutting the classroom door behind you, you exhale taking in the stale air of the empty hallway of Hawkins High School. You quickly walk down the hall as your heart beats wildly out of your chest. You can feel your stomach churn as you reach out for the door nob of the brown glass door that reads “Main Office.” The small bell at the top of the door rings alerting the secretary as you quickly step inside and shut the door gently. Taking a deep breath, you chase the butterflies away in your stomach as you loosen your shoulders and walk up to her forming a smile with your cherry lips.

“Uh hi, I was called down by the principal.” You mutter with a small smile.

“You must be Y/N?” She asks reading at a post it note on her desk. You nod trying to quickly get this interaction over with. “Have a seat dear.”

You walk over to the small sofa chair in the corner of the office. Bouncing your leg, you can feel the nervousness creep up from your core once again as the same questions float through your mind like clouds on a breezy day. You look around the room and notice old school yearbook photos, sports championship awards, and other boring memorabilia. Before you get a chance to read any, the door swings open to the person you did not want to see… the principal. He is older, with short small wisps of hair that adorn his mostly bald head. He is wearing a blue suit and you can see his beer belly slightly protrude from his attire.

“Come on in Y/N”

You quickly get out of the seat and follow him into the small crammed office. Your eyes immediate lock onto a very recognizable face here at Hawkins High. This face belongs to someone who’ve you have despised since elementary school. Someone who used to practically rule over the school, date every girl in the 5 mile radius, and keep his hair perfectly in place every single day. The King of Hawkins High was sitting right before your eyes.. the one and the only Steve Harrington. He just feverishly looks up at you before darting his eyes away and fiddles with his fingers embarrassingly. Your mind floods with endless questions as you take a seat next to him.

Steve Harrington is known for being the arrogant and snobby rich jock who’s only personality trait is hooking up with 50 girls a month. Rumors go around that his ex girlfriend Nancy Wheeler broke up with him because she cheated with Jonathan Byers and didn’t want to get risked getting caught. All you know is that you don’t want to mess with him or even talk to him. He fails all his classes, always goes to parties, and barely has his parents home.

Trouble.

The principal clears his throat, “I probably assume you two have never met. Let me introduce you two. Y/N this is Steve, Steve this is Y/N.”

Being polite you turn your head and put on a fake smile as he returns the favor before you both quickly look at the principal once again.

“Now I called you two down here not because you’re in trouble but I have an important question to ask.” He says flicking his eyes between you two.

Okay not in trouble.. that’s a good sign.

“Y/N, now I know you are in many advanced classes and receive very high grades.” You nod and smile agreeing with his statements. You feel Steve shift in his chair uncomfortably as you look over and see his face blush as red as a tomato. “Well, Steve here does not receive the best of grades. Right now, if he doesn’t pass his classes, he will be unable to qualify for graduation.” You nod you head as your head whirs with millions of thoughts…

“Pfft, no shit it’s Steve Harrington”

“Unable to graduate? I could never.”

“What does this even mean?”

“Well I was wondering if you would be interested in tutoring him? Either once or twice a week would suffice.” He says with a smile as he looks at you.

Your heart drops just like the roller coasters at amusement parks. Your stomach does a flip as you can feel your organs rearrange from inside. Your face starts to heat up as your palms begin to get sweaty. You’re bad at making decisions especially ones that require things you don’t like.

Tutor Steve Harrington? Shoot me now!

Looking over at Steve you notice him look up at you reading your face for any response. You just look at him and look at the principal as the thoughts zoom around your brain.

You don’t know what to do.

Should I be the better person? Should I help the douchebag? You decide to go with your gut, you can’t ever say no.

You look up at the principal. “Sure, why not.” You smile as you look over to Steve who just looks at you like his prayers got awnsered.

He knows your really smart. Really really smart. And pretty cute too. You know, maybe this whole tutoring thing would work out in his favor. He passes his classes and he gets a new chic.

“Perfect, thank you Y/N!” He smiles as he hands you Steve’s grade sheet. “He specifically needs to work on Physics and US History.”

You glance at his grade sheet as you read the grades.

Physics- D

English- C

US History- F

Geometry- B

Oh boy, these grades aren’t looking too hot.

The principal buds in again. “Tutoring could be 1-2 hours at either persons house. He must be fully prepared by the last month of school.” You nod your head placing his grade sheet in your bag.

“Steve why don’t you thank Y/N for helping you with your studies?” He demands looking at Steve.

“Thank you Y/N.” He says timidly looking up into your eyes for a split second.

His eyes were really pretty. Brown with a hazel undertone. They shined with the morning sun glimmering through the half drawn shades.

You just smile back at him and reply “You’re welcome. Does tomorrow night around 6:00 at my place work?” He nods as you exchange addresses.

You leave the office with a million thoughts in your head.

How are you supposed to tutor someone you hate. Out of all people it is goddamn Steve Harrington. The rich, snobby, and rude jock who knows nothing but of parties and alcohol. You’re not gonna enjoy these sessions, you already know it. Seeing him is bad enough, how you have to talk and teach him twice a week for the next several weeks. Might as well just dig your grave now.

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“He will be here any min- ding.. I’ll get it.” You yell through the house. Steve had just ringed your doorbell. Your blood pressure just rose off the charts. You quickly run over to the front door and open it. There is Mr. Pretty Boy himself with his books cradled in his hands. He is wearing a dark green polo shirt with his usual blue jeans. He flashes you a charming hello smile as you step to the side and let him in.

That smile. Oh boy, made you feel different.

“Hi, how are you?” You ask watching him look around the house.

I’m sure he’s definitely judging it. Rich boy isn’t used to small rooms…

“I’m fine, how are you?” He asks catching you in the eye as you find yourself get lost in them.

Shake it off.. you gotta hate him…

Steve knows that he has this horrible reputation and he knows that people who don’t know him see him as what he used to be. His goal is to change that, whatever way possible. He hasn’t had a ton of friends since the whole situation. Heck, he dropped Tommy and his silly girlfriend. He really had no one.

He had hope.

Maybe you could be his first actual friend…

If he could prove to you that he changed…

He could even prove to himself that he won’t make mistakes ever again..

“Follow me.” You say tucking your hair behind your ears as you guide him to your room.

Your room was small and quaint. White walls with white decor. The accent the room was baby pink as you had several pictures of flowers or beaches on the wall. It was your comfy spot. Made you feel safe.

As you enter the room you walk over and sit down on your bed swinging your legs as they dangle off the floor. Beside you are the books you set out to study and practice with. Steve just looked around with a curious gaze in his eyes before he set his stuff down on your desk and walked over to sit beside you.

“Let’s get started.” You say turning to face him while you grab the Physics book from off the pile.

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“What’s the awnser to Question #7?” You ask as you stare at his pondering complexion. You wait a few seconds. “Hello? Earth to Steve?” You ramble as you wave your hand in front of his face.

“What.. sorry.” He jumps back into reality looking bored.

“Are you okay?” You ask softly as he looks up into your eyes.

“Can we do something else?” He asks trying to read a reaction from your face.

“Yeah, Math or Social Studies?” You ask totally clueless.

“Not school Y/N.” He drags readjusting himself on your bed.

“Then what?” You ask a little harsher then expected. He looks surprised at your response.

“Jeez, you’re a little cranky.” He says sarcastically as he takes the book from your lap and places it on the ground. You watch as he fixes his hair after it gets into his face.

His hair is really nice. Dark thick hazelnut colored hair that is always perfectly styled and hair sprayed. They don’t call him “The Hair” for nothing.

You zoned out for a minute while studying his lucious locks and now he is taping your shoulder lightly to regain your attention.

“Sorry, just confused what you wanna do since the whole reason why you are here is to pass school.” You brush a piece of fallen hair from behind your ear.

Steve is not gonna lie to himself. You’re pretty cute, even when your cranky.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asks looking confused as he looks into your darting eyes.

You search your brain for a response. You question telling him a lie or telling him the truth. Taking a deep breath you spit out the truth.

“Not currently. I mean it’s just a weird situation. You know, you’re popular and a jock and every girl on the planet is obsessed with you. And I’m not popular, a nerd, and never has had a boyfriend. So yeah this is a little awkward. Plus considering the fact that I thought you absolutely 100% hated me prior to this.” You blurt out with a nervous chuckle as you examine your fingers.

“What did I do to make you think that I hated you?” He asks inquisitively while still looking at you as he sees the blush to your cheeks.

“I mean in elementary school you did push me into a muddy puddle.” You say looking back up at him and smiling a bit.

He chuckles and says jokingly, “That’s the reason why? I’m sorry I did that Y/N but… maybe you deserved it.” His voice turns serious. “But on a serious note, let’s just scratch this whole stereotype thing and start fresh, okay?” He asks looking right into your ocean blue eyes as he extends his hand forward.

“Deal.” You laugh as you shake his hand. “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you!”

“I’m Steve, nice to meet you too!” He smiles brightly.

Hard feelings vanished..

For the remainder of the night, you two talk small talk about what you two enjoy and things that are happening in your lives. To be honest, you don’t mind him. You enjoy his quick remarks, his flirty attitude, his humor, and most of all his company.

On the other hand, Steve never thought he would speak to you a day in his life. But here he is, talking about movies, people, etc with someone he just met 24 hours ago and hell he was enjoying it too! There was something about you, something that made him incredibly happy inside. Something that filled a void no one has even filled before.

By the time the night was over, you already exchanged phone numbers and planned your next session.

Steve nor you could not wait for the next time you saw eachother!

Something definitely changed with him over the years. You’ve learned so much from him and how he has grown to better himself. It feels like someone took a pink eraser and erased all the lies right off the paper. It was good as new!

Deep down you had a feeling though and Steve was definitely feeling it too..

Deep down you had a crush..

On Steve Harrington..

The person who you refused to even speak to about 24 hours ago..

And he had one on you too..

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It was three days later and you and Steve were in the exact same spot practicing questions. You could tell by his body language that he was getting tired and bored. He got up and started to wander around your room with his usual playful smirk tugging at his lips. Steve was bored of studying, you two have been studying flash cards for two hours and he was at his wits end. Steve loved the little breaks or stupid activities the two of you would do when you both were tired and needed a break. He loved spending time with you, either if it was teasing you or just having a simple friend to friend conversation. You guys have gotten closer over the time spent together and he clearly recognizes that. At first, you used to be shy and more reserved but the more time you’ve spent with him, the more you’ve come out of your shell. He loves your fiery remarks or playful teasing you always delivered right back to him after he said something to you. He loved watching you become pissed at him or become sarcastic and quick-witted with him after he would ask a stupid question or pull a dramatic stunt. So, per usual he decided this was the time to do yet another stunt he had brewing in his heavily hair-sprayed mind.

“Steve, what the hell are you doing?” You question as you watch his eyes glaze over your desk as he reaches his purple sleeved arm over towards a book on it. “Put that down.” You bark as you get up and race towards him. The smirk only growing bigger on his face as he hears your distress.

“What is this?” He asks with squinted eyes as he begins to open the pages but before he could get a good look, you reach for it. Using his height advantage, he stretches his arm towards the ceiling which now suspended the book over your head.

“Give it to me! It’s my diary, put it down!” You beg as you brush up against him as you try to grab and reach it. He laughs as he stands in his tippy toes to get it higher as you jump to try to reach it. You’re practically chest to chest as you can feel his chest bounce quickly with each sharp laugh. He is getting a kick out of you freaking out. Suddenly, you realize you two are really close, too close for comfort. He senses your body language switch and suddenly returns to a more calm and collected state. He can feel his laughter fade as a small smile sits on his lips. He can feel his heart pick up as he locks eyes with yours as he resists the urge to pull you closer or look at your lips. You look even more beautiful up close as he notices the faint freckles peppering your cheeks and nose.

You stop as you lock eyes for a minute. Steve is a few inches taller than you but you two are face to face. Inches away from eachother. You examine his face close up. His hair is slightly disheveled with strands hang in front of his eyes. He has moles freckling his face like stars on a clear night. Your eyes flit down to his lips as you notice how cheery red they look close up. Quickly you look at him again, fearful of getting caught staring. You could feel your cheeks slightly blush and turn warm as you just stare into Steve’s brown sparkly eyes. The more you try to pull away, the more they pull you in. Steve feels the same way as he feels nervousness creep up from his core as his lips curve into a slight smile. He pulls the book down as he continues to lock eyes with yours. He has no idea how long it’s been. His mind is mush as he finds himself darting from your eyes to your lips..

“Here.” He whispers breathlessly as he hands you the book slightly backing up but keeping the eye contact.

“Thanks.” You reply as you blush a little harder now as you walk to your desk to place the book down and then you both return to the spot on the bed and continue.

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In a matter of a two weeks, you two have gotten extremely close. You would if never imagined that you would be good friends with the most popular guy in school, the one all you’re friends tell you to stay away from.. yet he just draws you in. The endless amounts of nights where he calls you on the phone asking about homework as it suddenly turns into a three hour call where you two ramble about random topics. You’re falling faster than you thought you would.. crumbling as he created cute nicknames for you and knows everything that makes you tumble over in laughter. He’s a complete opposite of you and your morals, yet you two seem to attract like a magnet.

Steve has learned to know you like a book, using his charismatic and charming personality he knows exactly what makes you blush or makes you laugh. As the study sessions go on, he picks up on your body language and your habits. He enjoys listening to you ramble for hours on end about friends or your family. He’s never really felt such an instant connection with someone before especially only knowing them for a few weeks now.

Today marks the last study session before Steve’s test. The last time you’ll see him roll his eyes at a physics question, the last time he will tease you about your stupidly high grades and how smart you are, the last time you two don’t focus on the task and do other things. You feel sadness forming in your heart hoping that after this, he continues to want to talk on the phone or even hang out. You love seeing him wave and smile at you in school or meeting you at your locker to talk. But you’re scared, you’re scared that he’s gonna put on his cocky jock attitude and won’t speak to you again… completely cut you out. You’ve seen a different side to him that you’ve never seen before. He’s sweet, considerate, and gentle around you. Never fails to have you think about him endlessly once he leaves your house or you hang up on the phone…

Little do you know, he feels the same. The same feeling poking him in the gut, the feeling where you want to hold on and never let go.

You’re suprised when your doorbell rings earlier than usually. You glance at the small watch on your left wrist as it reads “4:00 pm.” But you two agreed on 7:00 pm the night prior. You quickly brush your hair behind your shoulders as you open the door.

“Hey Steve, you’re early.” You say with a smile as you notice him blushing a bit in embarrassment. His cheeks are a slight pink as he smiles at you.

“Uh hey Y/N, sorry I’m early.” He pauses for a second. “Are you busy? Am I interrupting anything?” He asks a little more concerned now as the blush intensifies on his cheeks.

You shake your head as you chuckle a bit. “No.. no.. you’re not interrupting anything.”

“Okay good, I was wondering if I could just come now.. I know it’s our last night so I wanted some extra practice before the test tomorrow morning.” He says reading your face for an answer.

Now if he was Pinocchio, his nose would grow larger.. because he is lying. His pants are on fire.

“Of course, come on in!” You say with an enthusiastic smile as you move to the side to let him in.

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“Okay last physics question, I promise.” You say with a teasing smile as he rolls his eyes. You ask him a pretty difficult question as you could see the gears practically turning in his head. He answers correctly as a beaming smile forms on your lips. You notice the pure excitement on his face at your reaction.

Steve cannot help but to feel his heart flutter to see the reaction you just gave him. A huge proud beaming smile.. one that makes him want to melt into a big puddle on your bed. He thinks your reaction is the cutest thing, you’re the cutest thing and he feels like it’s the right time to ask his question.

Once you two calm down a bit and all the books are put away, you’re staring Steve right in the face. He’s just smiling gently at you, his eyes dazzling in the soft light of your room. You feel the butterflies form in your stomach as you break the comfortable silence.

“How do you feel for tomorrow? Good? Bad?”

“I think I’ll be okay, pretty nervous” He says with a shrug as he smiles a bit hesitant at you, you notice how his demeanor has changed. He seems more nervous and quiet now.

“You’ll do great, trust me!” You say trying to lighten the mood as you earn a smile from him. You give him a comforting smile as you grab his hand and hold it in yours gently squeezing it.

Your touch practically sends Steve to the moon. He just feels so happy, he feels all the nerves and worries washing away as you gently hold his hand in comfort. He truly believes every word you’re saying.

He clears his throat before asking a bit nervously. He’s been thinking about this plan all night and all day. He wants to celebrate with you, regardless if he passes or not. He wants to treat you for volunteering your time to help him. And of course, he just wants to spend some time with you. You make his day with these sessions as you constantly giggle at his jokes making his heart soar or seeing you smile so beautifully. You’re like treasure to him, he wants to cherish you forever.

“Y/N, do you possibly want to go and get ice cream with me when it’s all done and over with… like a celebration type of thing?” He asks with a gentle smile as a hint of pink crowds his cheeks.

You let his statement settle in the air as you feel your heart pick up at the words. Without a second thought you reply, “I would love too, Steve!” You can feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you smile unstoppably at him. You see his eyes open wide in happiness in response as the smile grows bigger on his freckled cheeks.

Head over heels..

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Steve has refused to tell you the outcome of his test until you two were seated on the back trunk of his car indulging in your ice creams. His treat, of course.

“So Steve…” You say pausing to swallow. “What did you get?” You push the spoon around the sprinkled covered ice cream as you wait for him to respond.

Steve places his icecream down as you copy him looking at him more curious now. You watch the sides of his mouth curve into a grin. “I passed, everything!” He says excitedly. You can’t help but to squeal in surprise as you wrap your arms around him for a hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” You say muffled against his shoulder. You can feel his broad arms wrap around your lower back as he hugs you back. You can feel the sudden chill from the ice cream melt away.

You pull away as you look him dearly in the eyes with a sincere smile on your face. “See, I told you that you could do it!” You say smiling even wider. You’re so so so happy, this made your day.. your week even.

Steve has never seen you this happy for anything ever. Heck, Steve has never even had anyone this happy for him. He just feels this overwhelming sense of accomplishment and joy that fills his entire body.

You both are now just looking at each other with huge smiles, enjoying the comfortable silence. Steve feels like he should make a move, before he loses you. He’s afraid that after this, your friendship could disappear. You would go back to your friends and he would hang out with his. And he didn’t want that. He wanted to be with you.

“So what was the final sc-“ You’re interrupted mid sentence as he presses his lips delicately against yours. You gasp into his lips as your eyes dart shut. His hand gently caresses your cheek as your body freezes. He pulls apart smiling and blushing madly as he looks at you lovingly. You just stare like a dear in headlights at him. You’re shocked and can’t even process what just happened.

Steve Harrington just kissed you.

Your cheeks are a crimson color now as you smile shyly at him. Without a second thought, it’s your turn to confess how you feel. And by this, you press your lips against his once more. His lips are pillowy soft and taste sweet from the ice cream. One of your hands cups his cheek while the other rests gently on his shoulder. You can feel his hand come and press against your lower back as he pulls you closer to him as the other pulls hair behind your ear delicately. You pull apart with a smile as you become nervous and shy around him. You can feel the absence on your lips as butterflies course through your tummy.

Steve is genuinely surprised that you feel the same way. He would never think that you, a smart and determined girl would ever fall in love with a dumb, cocky jock. He’s only known you for about a month now but it feels like it’s been years. You two just instantly clicked. Maybe opposites do attract..

He just feels overwhelming happy as he just stares at you with the biggest gushy smile and sparking eyes as he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close to him. You rest your head on his shoulder as you two just watch the sun set behind the trees, feeling totally in love.

Maybe people aren’t as bad as they seem..

People can change, people can grow..

And all you know, is you love Steve for who he is and who he became..

Because the lies were erased clean off the page.

¡! ❞ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ↳ ❝ [] ¡! ❞

thank you for reading!! <3 hope you enjoyed the fic!!

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #1: Kim Hongjoong

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

Photography

Hongjoong's love for photography goes way back to his predebut days. In one of the first videos ever uploaded to their channel, you can already see him holding a camera on the set of Pirate King.

2 years ago, in 2022, he got to announce his first photo exhibition, FROM NOVEMBER 7, 1998, as a birthday present to himself, which took place from November 1st to 7th at gallery99 and was used to collect money for charity.

There was no entrance fee but spots had to be reserved online to ensure there'd be no dangerous crowding. During the exhibition, there was a little event planned for all attendees in which fans could collect points which were then converted to money that was later donated under Hongjoong and Atiny's name. The total donated amount was 10 million won!

In Logbook Episode 101, we got to see Hongjoong visit the exhibition himself and take a stroll through memory lane.

Due to the success of the 2022 exhibition, Hongjoong held another one last year which took place between November 3rd and 9th, 2023, and was titled A Walker - the event was accompanied by the release of an original song and led to the donation of 50 million won under Hongjoong's and Atiny's name to the Korea Childhood Leukemia Foundation.

BY. HONGJOONG

Back in 2018, Hongjoong shared during their stay in LA as KQ Fellaz, that he barely went to school since he already started producing music during his high school days. And yes, this is during the same tear jerking monologue where he calls Ateez his family for the first time and says he needs to hurry so he can see their sleeping faces before he goes to bed.

The first time we get to see Hongjoong fully in action as a producer is during his first 1-Day-Vlog in 2020 in which he's working on his Prince cover (more on that in a second).

But now to the main event: Hongjoong has an entire series going where he covers some of his all time favorite songs. Whenever he does, he likes to make the songs his own by recording his own instrumental track and typically adding an additional Korean rap verse with self-written lyrics highlighting his interpretation of the song's message.

Kicking things off with Space Oddity by David Bowie, a classic.

Side Note: As a lover of unisex clothing/androgyny, Hongjoong is likely not just inspired musically by Bowie, but also fashion wise. You can learn more about Bowie's influence on the climate surrounding gender and sexuality here.

Dressed in white, matching both his hair and the background, Hongjoong turned himself into a clean canvas on which he projected first footage of Bowie and later some floating orbs - it's very aesthetic.

Between the original verses and chorus, he placed a Korean rap verse in which he writes from Major Tom's perspective and laments his mental state while stuck alone in outer space, asking ground control to tell his mom he loves her while stating he still appreciates the beauty of space but feels lost and lonely all by himself.

Next up, we've got Purple Rain by Prince, another classic.

Side Note: Like Bowie, Prince too was famous for being androgynous in how he presented himself and toying with what society deemed masculine and feminine. He's famous to this day among the queer community for how persistently he defied gender norms and labels. Learn more about him here.

Instead of filming himself, we get a lyric video this time, fully kept in pastel lavender. Once again, Hongjoong added a rap verse of his own in which he speaks to a lost friend, talking about how he hopes that, even though they're apart now, his friend will still recall him as being sincere and that they can still think of each other fondly and remember the good times.

In a far more elaborate production, we've got Black or White by Michael Jackson up next.

Using green screen and multiple outfits, we get a fun spectacle of a little passion project featuring multiple versions of Hongjoong, background collages, emojis, and more:

Despite being shorter than the other covers, we still get the signature rap verse preceded by his famous giggle and, this time, he's got quite a bit to say.

Diving into the lyrics, he talks about how we're all different colors. Colors which are meant to be mixed. Our roots don't define us. Throughout life, we'll all get mixed up with each other, as we should. He doesn't want to see us divided. To quote: "What's wrong with you, babe? Stop it. You've already experienced the 20th century. Blah blah by dividing groups."

The song ends with the rap verse before the video dives into the making of in which Hongjoong specifically addresses his intent to talk about social issues like Michael Jackson famously used to while he was alive (think: They Don't Really Care About Us).

So long time by Yoon Jong Shin comes next with a sepia-toned video featuring Hongjoong at a grand piano. It's a pretty ballad highlighting his vocals and the use of multiple camera angles allows us to watch him play.

Shortly before we hit the 2 minute mark, Hongjoong gets up and we transition from the shot of the piano to a cassette player while the audio shifts to the original for a moment before Hongjoong returns.

We've reached the rap verse where he mourns a lost love, speaking of memories he can't let go of, even as he pretends everything is okay. He's cold and lonely now, a little mad at himself for continuously getting lost in the memories, and calls himself a fool before we return to the cover-part of the song.

At 3:58, the song wraps up and we've reached the making of section of the video where he talks about how his cover stems from the idea of a time machine taking you through the song, with the first verse (playing the piano) being the past, the rap verse symbolizing the present, and the memories then taking back over as he gets lost in them, leading to the piano's return.

Next up, we've got Last Christmas by Wham! which opens to a short clip of Hongjoong's acting on a pretty Christmas film set before we transition to a simple white back drop.

This time, the signature rap verse comes in early at 50 seconds with a little giggle before he talks about leaving the past in the past and moving on, letting the snow settle over painful memories.

However, this time, we also get a second rap verse at 1:45, where it becomes clear he hasn't moved on at all, plus a Korean vocal section at 2:43 which carries through to the end. Here, he highlights even further that he hopes they'll reconnect next winter so they can leave the painful past behind and live out a shared future.

Hongjoong in his emo era. This is the first Ateez-related video I've ever seen because I was born in '96 and my emo phase never ended so of course this was recommended to me when it was first released.

Numb by Linkin Park got the full Hongjoong treatment and was even reported on by Rolling Stone, quote:

The cover began trending on social media and YouTube within hours of its release, but the true prize came a day later when it caught the attention of Linkin Park themselves. The rock band’s official Twitter account ‘liked’ the post on ATEEZ’s page, with co-founder and vocalist Mike Shinoda confirming on a livestream that he’d seen and enjoyed the cover. As of this writing, Hongjoong’s version of “Numb” has over half a million views on YouTube and has garnered tremendous praise from Linkin Park’s fans.

We get the black eye makeup and nail polish, the plaid half skirt, the dramatic music video with fake fog and red lighting. The rap verse comes in hard, talking about getting mentally weighed down by an abuser and finally breaking free, cutting the ties.

As a long time Linkin Park fan, I love how unique this cover is and Chester would've loved it too I'm sure. I wish he could've seen it.

Fools Garden's Lemon Tree is another classic and I come back to it on the regular because the video has such a unique vibe and the song is famous for getting stuck in your head.

The video features Hongjoong alone in a house surrounded by colorful toys and games, bored out of his mind and visibly seeking a distraction from life but failing to find something, no matter how out of pocket his thinking gets.

Shoutout to the license plate - it's the release date of the song, November 3rd, 1995.

At 1:33, Hongjoong sprints off to the basement which is doused in red and we get a warped version of his signature giggle before the rap verse kicks in. The camera work in this section reminds me a bit of his rap verse in Not Okay.

While down there, he gets more and more deranged, talking about being locked up day by day, imprisoned, losing track of time, but being unable to break out. Instead of trying to escape, he just attempts to distract himself, listening to sad songs on a loop until his pain disappears and his world switches back to yellow.

Busking Event

In 2021, Hongjoong decided to put together a busking event featuring live performances of some covers, plus acoustic versions of some of their songs. Accompanying him were both Ateez and Maddox. You can find the full playlist here:

Collaboration

3 months ago, Chungha made a return to the music scene after escaping her former label and chose Hongjoong as a collaboration partner for her new debut. Beyond his rap verse, she also incorporated a move from Crazy Form in the choreography (she's lovely):

[genericpuff]

HIHI!!! I hope you're good, Puff!!

If you're ever up for it, I'd love to hear how you work and create while dealing with ADHD. I got a confirmed diagnosis just yesterday (though I've been suspecting it for a long time) and it'd be wonderful to hear how you cope with the struggles it provides, or even discuss any benefits you've discovered.

If not, no worries!! Thank you for reading this, Puff!!

<3

oh god I feel so bad every time this question comes up because. I can't really tell you how exactly I've been able to do it LOL Congrats on getting your assessment, I actually just got paired with a new physician the other day and am now pursuing medication for my own ADHD struggles as well! I got diagnosed with 100% combined ADHD yaaaaay!

Short answer to your question: very very carefully! Because despite the work I put out, I am still VERY prone to burnout. While on the surface you all see me putting out regular updates of Rekindled, underneath that are projects that have fallen to the wayside because my brain just said "nah, I don't wanna play with you anymore" and that sucks! And I don't want Rekindled to wind up that way either!

Recognizing my limitations and making accommodations where needed has definitely helped. Changing my update schedule from once a week to once every two weeks, working with an assistant, learning which battles to fight and which ones to pass on, etc. Obviously out-of-pocket things like having an assistant aren't options for everyone, but getting to work with Banshriek has really opened my eyes to how much I was putting myself through with when I was flying solo. I have that bad habit of taking on way too much for myself, thinking that I'm capable of being everything within a project and fulfilling every role, but that's exactly how folks like us wind up getting burnt out and falling out of love with our projects. So I've definitely learned to appreciate collaboration more in that regard, both for the sake of "carrying the load" as well as giving me another voice to give input and feedback.

But when that's not an option, definitely make sure to pace yourself. There's so much misinformation about what makes a "successful" comic and normalization of extremely unhealthy working habits that it makes people think they're not allowed to make comics unless it's a 50+ panel a week ordeal. Update on a schedule that works for you, people appreciate consistency above all things, even if it's only a page a week or a few pages a month, that's more than enough.

You also absolutely need to make sure to rest. Proper rest, no thinking about the next page or the next update, just go out and exercise or hang out with friends or do something that gets you away from your usual working area and also provides you with stimulation. It's good for both your mental and physical health. I know with ADHD it can be very tempting to just pour every bit of yourself into a project right off the bat because you're so excited and full of BEANS, but that's just the dopamine demon talking! Don't let it tempt you into spending all of it in once place! If you do that, that's when you'll wind up burnt out and taking breaks that you can't recover from! It's a marathon, not a race!

When it comes to my own experiences, I really just love drawing comics. If it wasn't Rekindled, it would be anything else. That made it 'easy' to turn it into a habitual routine, but that's only because to me, drawing comics is the escape from the more boring shit I have going on in my life. This means I have to balance it carefully so that it doesn't become too much of a job or an obligation. There are definitely times when that balance tips, when the last thing I wanna look at is whatever episode I'm working on, and when I find myself crunching on pages with 2 days left on the clock before an upload.

The important thing is not to get yourself down over the failures and keep moving forward, even if it's not as fast a speed as you were hoping for. We're often really hard on ourselves to put out 150% on everything we do, but if 150% were the norm, it would just be 100%, y'know what I mean? And even still we're not designed to put 100% in every day, because some days we'll only have the capacity to offer up 30% - 30% is 100% on those days. Be kind to yourself <3

[lunaviee]

04. JEALOUSY…?

(with some writing below)

rin states at your instagram post. annoyed.

it’s a weird feeling, he thinks. he doesn’t even know you, so why is he so annoyed at isagi for getting so close? all he knows is that your favorite pen to use is a pale blue one that’s running out of ink soon. and how you get annoyed when that one strand of hair gets in your face. and that you take off your bracelets when you write because they’re uncomfortable. and that he catches you glancing at him sometimes.

oh. okay, maybe he does know a bit about you..but that’s no reason to be so jealous, right? whatever, he doesn’t need this right now. he should focus on school no matter how many times you catch his eye.

————————————————————————

you walk into class and see a worker standing around the area where you would normally sit. you look at your teacher and he holds up a finger, indicating you to wait a moment. so you do.

soon, the worker (which you find out is a remodeler) calls your teacher over and you and your classmates are left conversing with each other.

“what do you think they’re doing?” a voice asks you, trying to start conversation.

you turn around, still keeping your eyes on the two men near your seat “i’m not sure…my guess is-” you freeze. you finally look at who you’re talking to and it’s rin. you’ve only heard him speak once and you were a bit too flustered to remember what he sounded like. he was quiet in class and didn’t even know he existed up until a few weeks ago.

his voice is smooth and low, which makes you just a tad bit nervous…

“uh huh? you were saying?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at you. “oh right. uh my guess is they’re fixing the charging plug next to my desk. it doesn’t work” you finally look into his eyes to answer. his eyes are pretty..icy irises surrounded by long eyelashes.

“hm.” he hums back in response. before either of you could say anything else (if you even wanted to), your teacher makes an announcement.

“alright, all students seated in columns 8-12 are moving desks. everyone else, go to your seat please.”

you turn back to rin and your eyes meet again. you were sat in column 12 and rin was in 10.

“uh do you wanna-” you start.

“yeah sure” rin walks past you and towards 2 empty desks.

even though there were only 36 people in your class, the size of your classroom was able to fit just under 50 students, so finding an empty seat was easy. (you really aren’t sure why your teacher had assigned seats in the first place…)

when you sit down, you take out your notebook and pencil case. well, it seems like you didn’t properly close your pencil case all the way when you last used it, and one of your pens had dropped. you lean over to get it, your head being dangerously close to the desk…

rin sees this and his hand slides over to the edge of the desk while you’re grabbing your pen, making sure you don’t accidentally hit your head.

once you sit back up, rin’s hand is back to its original spot before you can notice it had ever even left. your teacher walks back up to the front of the classroom and assigns a worksheet for the rest of the class period.

“work with a partner if you need to, i’ll be dealing with the remodeling situation.”

the word “partner” makes you glance at rin out of the corner of your eye. unfortunately, his eyes are set on his own paper.

though, his eyes do flicker to your desk as he watches you shake your favorite pen in hopes of using it again before it’s completely out of ink.

PREV | NEXT | MAIN EVENT

oh my god i’m SO sorry i didn’t upload for so long and this chapter SUCKS😭i’ve been so busy recently and writers block definitely doesn’t help

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