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sttoru · 10 months

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𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

⟣ sypnosis. you had been in your first ever relationship with suguru for a couple months now. neither of you have taken your relationship to the next level; suguru was extremely patient and never brought the topic of sex up until you one day decide you were ready.

⟣ note. first fic for my event :3 i spent way too much time on this fic so it turned out very detailed, long, romantic and fluffy. i hope you all enjoy and appreciate it teehee. this post contains smut, proceed at own risk ! wc: around 6.1k

⟣ tags. soft dom!geto suguru x virgin!female reader. fluff + smut. slow burn. age gap (reader 20-ish, suguru around 29/30), little talks about insecurity, loss of virginity, breast play, edging, teasing, fingering, lots of praise, dirty talk, size difference!, p in v — unprotected (dont b like reader and use protection please), creampie, aftercare, suguru’s really romantic and just a softie for u, suguru being a good ‘dad’ to mimiko and nanako and teeny tiny bits of him secretly being a pervert.

never in a million years had suguru expected his girlfriend to be so upfront about such a big, personal decision. the thought of having you say those words had never crossed his mind.

“can you repeat that for me, sweetheart?”

could you blame him for asking you to clarify the words you’ve uttered? that man has seen you as an oblivious and innocent woman ever since the start of your relationship. of course, unbeknownst to him, your thoughts were anything but that.

you may be a virgin, but your mind was a place for the most lewd and nasty thoughts. it’s just that you’ve been scared of being intimate with a man—it’s frightening, especially when having heard the many online stories about how badly it could hurt. some say that such descriptions were over exaggerating, however your inexperience still lead you to believe everything you’ve read about the topic.

and then you started dating an older man named suguru. you’ve met him by chance at a mall in kyoto and he was the first one who approached the other. you remember how suguru politely asked you for some advice regarding what type of presents he should get for ‘two teenage girls’. of course, you agreed to helping him out and that’s how you two eventually ended up brainstorming about possible ideas in a cozy café.

once seated, chosen drinks in both your hands, you asked the man whether the gifts were meant for his daughters. somehow, that’s the first connection the neurones in your brain had made once suguru told you about the two teenagers he was picking out presents for.

you remember it vividly; the sweet, gentle sound of the laughter that accounted as your answer, the eyes of the then stranger looking rather nostalgic as they stared into the liquid in his cup. suguru responded vaguely; “i guess you could say that, yes.”

that little ‘date’—if you could call it that—ended on a wholesome note. suguru thanked you for your time and made sure that you safely got into the train you needed to take home. he did want to offer you a car ride, however he kept that question to himself since he knew that no woman would voluntarily agree to be taken home by a stranger. even if suguru had the purest of intentions.

there were a couple more dates that followed after that one; all where you both gradually got to know each other better. you’ve found out so much about suguru—the details about his own life being both fascinating and sad at the same time. likewise, suguru had also learned much about you. he always shows great interest in what you tell him, even if it’s a minuscule detail. he remembers it all as well—a feature which caused you to feel funny things in your stomach.

you realised you were catching feelings for that mysterious yet sweet and loving man; it was inevitable. the way he makes you giggle, his respectful and easygoing manner of speaking, the slight touches you two shared on accident.. all of it added to your little crush.

however, you didn’t actually think suguru was falling for you too. you only met up for a few times, plus, you seem out of his league—both due to your age gap and difference in the things you’re pursuing at the time. you were in college, trying to get your degree whilst he already had a job as a powerful leader of an organisation and was trying to achieve one of many goals with them.

there’s not a chance he’d like you, right?

wrong. you were confessed to a couple weeks after your first meeting and have been in a relationship for over 4 months now. it still felt like a dream; having your first boyfriend be such a gentleman. it truly felt like you already met the love of your life whenever he was near.

suguru’s been nothing but sweet and caring to you, has never asked you to engage in any sexual activities nor even ever dared to touch you in places you haven’t consented to. the furthest you’ve gone in terms of intimacy in those four months, were make-out sessions. just some tongue action here and there—adding sprinkles of neck kisses and hickeys.

there were times where you wanted to let things escalate, however you couldn’t bring it upon yourself to ask your lover. suguru wasn’t the person to decide your feelings for you either—if there was no verbal consent coming from your lips, he’s not going any further. even if he wanted to as well.

you were grateful that suguru was that willing to wait for you, no matter how long it might take. not only were you anxious of the possible pain the sex would bring, but it was partially due to the fact that your lover was much more experienced in that field.

what if you were lacking? what if it wasn’t satisfactory enough for him and he’d eventually leave you for it? it’s obvious that suguru wasn’t the type of man to actually do that, however you couldn’t stop the many possibilities from running free in your brain.

your change of mind was rather spontaneous; it was today when you suddenly came up with your final decision. you were staying over at suguru’s, the sun was out and he was sitting on his balcony, reading a book whilst sipping on his coffee. what caught your eye was his bare back and the muscles which were on display to you.

suguru was shirtless and the seams of light were making his skin glisten—the view making your own body hot and bothered. you bit your lip and approached your boyfriend from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before kissing his neck. that skin-to-skin contact made you sure of your decision; you needed him. in more ways than one.

that’s how you ended up saying what you said. the statement left suguru baffled since you uttered it in his ear out of the blue. he couldn’t deny one thing however; the idea certainly did send a shiver of excitement down his spine.

“i said,” you repeat with a little mischievous grin, leaning in closer to your lover once he turned around to face you properly—as if searching for any hints that your words were indeed not his imagination, “i wanna lose my virginity to you.”

it wasn’t. you actually said it—the words that would take your relationship a step further. although, suguru couldn’t help but wonder where your sudden decision came from. his hands found their way to yours and he held onto them like they were two delicate flowers.

“i’m happy to hear that, though i’m curious,” your lover starts off carefully as he places chaste yet soft kisses on your palms, “why so sudden?”

you shrug nonchalantly like you didn’t feel that twinge of nervousness in the back of your mind as you felt suguru’s lips on your skin. ‘it really was happening now, was it?’—that kind of feeling was the cause of your subtle anxiousness.

“well, ehh— you just looked good.. sitting there.. i guess.” you mumble, voice trailing off in embarrassment whilst your eyes darted around the balcony in attempt to avoid suguru’s gaze. your flustered expression and adorable confession makes him laugh gently. it was not a mocking laugh at all—more of an amused one;

“just when i thought you couldn’t get any cuter..” the long-haired man muses, the locks of his bangs grazing ever so slightly against your hands as he keeps holding them, “you never fail to surprise me, do you know that?”

suguru had a way with words that made you weak in the knees. or maybe it’s simply because he’s shirtless and kissing your palms so romantically. you don’t know which one it was.

“but, love,” suguru continues carefully as he stands up, your eyes following his as he towers over you, “are you a hundred percent sure? i don’t want to do anything you aren’t comf—“

“yes.” your answer cut your boyfriend off and he’s left in shock once more. your eyes were filled with determination, yet the faint glint of nervousness in them didn’t escape suguru’s sight. you’ve given your verbal consent and are even the first one to suggest the idea— what more could he ask of you?

there hung a silence between you two, the breeze blowing through suguru’s dark locks making him look even more majestic than he already was. you had no doubt about it; today was going to be the day. it had to be.

“then, if you’d let me have this,” his low voice sounded more sensual than it had ever been as his hand found its place on your cheek, fingertips rubbing against your ear, thumb softly pressing onto your skin—

a slow and romantic kiss followed straight afterwards. it had caught you slightly off guard, even when knowing fully well that this was what you were longing for.

his lips moved in tandem against yours, the soft touch making you feel certain emotions that you hadn’t even thought existed. this man whom you called your lover had never been unable to expose you to new sensations. and soon, he’ll grant you another one. a much pleasurable one.

one arm circled your waist, the other held up, hand on the back of your head to deepen the passion-filled kiss you shared. his lips parted your lightly trembling ones, the tips of your tongues attentively rubbing against one another as if to test the waters; was it fine to go further? are we actually doing this?

you were. it was set in stone as your throat formed soft noises of satisfaction, shaky breaths being exchanged by the two lovers on the balcony—not one of you realising that the weather was changing in the background. the sun was setting, creating the perfect mood for the situation as you were still engrossed by each other’s moves and touches.

it was only for the sake of catching your breath that you had pulled away. your cheeks felt hot, as did your entire body which was still pressed against suguru’s—chest to chest. the proximity was one you both had enjoyed many moments before, however this instant was unlike any other. you both knew as you stared at each other in silence, your quick breaths doing the talking instead.

“will you let me..” the voice of which you have grown to adore spoke to you, the owner grasping your attention once more by holding onto your hand. suguru’s fingers smoothly slid across your skin until they found the puzzle they were meant to complete—that being the gaps between your own fingers. once your hands were tightly intertwined, the man finishes his sentence;

“will you let me love you?”

his face was still close to yours as he uttered those beautiful words to you, warm breath lightly fanning the thin strands of hair on your cheeks to the side, lips subconsciously trying to brush against yours once more. but, they could wait. they could wait until the agreement leaves your mouth.

“of course.” the answer escapes before you could even register it properly. this makes suguru smile against your lips as he captured them in another sweet kiss. he muttered a small ‘thank you’ and then swept your legs off the floor—strong arms placed under your thighs to hold you up against his body whilst the hungry kisses continue.

suguru doesn’t know how he got there; carrying you over to his bed, settling you down onto the soft mattress, his body caging yours underneath him, eyes fluttering over every detail of your exposed skin. he hadn’t had you like this ever before; he hadn’t had you in his bed for a reason as sinful as this, only ever for cuddles or sleep.

“you’re beautiful.” the dark-haired man whispers as he carefully takes off the clothing covering your figure—the gorgeous skin his hands still have yet to explore. suguru can’t remember the last time he has treated anyone like this; like a treasure he’s had the honour to find and keep to himself. there hasn’t been a single woman in his life that he’s cared for this much—you’re the only one capable of mellowing him and his heart.

“stunning,” another compliment; another breath spent to praise you. your lover’s fingers teased the edges of your bra, lips kissing down your collarbone and towards the centre of your chest—each touch being done with precision. your bra became undone a second later and you let the straps fall of your arms, all the way until your breasts were fully revealed.

suguru’s breath hitches, mouth forming more saliva than in any previous instants, the liquid being pushed down his throat with a gulp. you didn’t have the chance to feel conscious of yourself in a moment like this; the dim light of the bedside lamp shone on suguru’s face, his lips glistening with a mixture of your saliva whilst his gaze was lingering on the new sight in front of him—he was utterly obsessed.

“may i?” his hands were already reaching out for the plump flesh and they came in touch once you nodded shyly. his palms were warm as they kneaded your breasts and his fingers brushed against your nipples, which made you whimper from how sensitive they were now that someone else has finally touched them.

suguru took notice of your reaction and put pressure on both small buds once again, thumbs rubbing your areolas in circular motions, “that good, princess?”

“mhmm— y-yes,” you mutter through a moan. your body was pushed further onto the mattress as your lover put more of his weight on you, your entire chest area getting covered by licks and kisses, slow and deliberate ones that left you yearning for more. suguru’s eyes gazed up at yours for consent once his parted lips hovered just above your sensitive nipples, his breath on them alone making you squirm already.

with another nod, suguru wasted no time taking one nipple into his warm mouth—wetting it with his saliva as his tongue slid around the area. his long fingers squeezed, twisted and pulled on your other nipple to give you both stimulations at once.

“mm, so good.” his muffled voice caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. suguru slowly lets his lips travel across your tits, sucking on them, even kissing down the curves until he reaches your torso. he gives that area the same amount of love and attention whilst your fingers were tangled around his smooth, long hair. suguru clearly seemed to enjoy the sensations; he let out small moans and hums against your bare skin to indicate that you should continue playing and tugging at his locks.

his tongue abruptly came to a stop right above the waistline of your panties—the barrier he was about to reach past for the first time. the hesitation was visible in his body language, however his fingers eventually tugged at the fabric, preparing to take it off.

your heart was beating out of your chest as you watched suguru slowly pull the last piece of cloth away. your thighs pressed together on instinct, stopping your panties from exposing your bare cunt.

“should i stop?” suguru asks with a raised eyebrow, fingers pulling away from your underwear now that he’s seen you close your legs. you didn’t want him to stop—it’s just the nerves that made your body move on its own command;

“please— no,” you shake your head, biting your lip as you swallowed your own saliva out of pure desire. you craved him now that it’s come this far, “need you. need you so bad, suguru.”

those words caused suguru’s brain to shut down. any irrelevant thoughts were thrown out of the window; the only thing his mind was telling him to do, was to take care of your needs. your body was laid out on his bed—trusting eyes looking up at his in anticipation, pretty hands grasping onto his sheets like it’d calm you down.

“i’m all yours, sweetheart.” suguru sighs, fingertips slightly shaking as he pulls your panties down to your ankles, eyes pausing on the revelation. to say that suguru was simply rendered speechless, was an understatement. that man was on the verge of letting loose of any self-control and just dive his face right between your thighs, eating you out like he’s fantasised of doing for a while now.

“fuck.” your boyfriend closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself before opening them to smile down at you—the handsome smile that was one of the many reasons you fell in love with him, “i’ll be careful. i promise.”

naturally, you nodded along. you’ve built up enough trust between one another during the past few months to let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. the palm of his hands patted your thighs slightly before spreading them apart, once again showing your glistening folds, a slight wetness to them from your own arousal.

suguru couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. he’d already have devoured your dripping cunt if it wasn’t for his self-control. but, it was your first time. he couldn’t rush into things just yet.

“thank you, baby.” the dark-haired man whispered under his breath. he was showing his gratitude for the sight you allowed him to see—a sight only he had ever seen before. the only man to be able to witness the beauty before him. that fact alone made his eyes darken in lust ever so slightly.

his fingers carefully slid across your vulva, your bodily fluid coating the skin which makes him shiver and his fingers get bolder. the cute sounds that filled his ears were only making this even better for him.

the way your hips bucked up slightly into his touch—just asking for suguru to take you right then and there—was driving him insane. every vein in his body felt like it could pop with how much he was restraining his own self from acting out of line. his finger easily slid into the little hole and suguru almost couldn’t believe it; your pussy was clamping down on his finger, your insides tightly wrapped around him to the point that even he wouldn’t know if his dick would fit in.

“hnnngh, suguru, please— wan’ your cock already,” that dirty sounding sentence was one he didn’t expect to hear from a virgin. it made him shake his head with a small, delighted chuckle; you really never failed to surprise him.

“i know you do,” suguru purrs, pressing kisses against the curves of your tits whilst another finger of his joined to stretch your pussy out properly, “but i need to prep you enough if you wanna take my cock. can you be patient for me, sweetheart?”

“m’kay. gonna try..” his fingers pumped in and out of you, the feeling of them curling up deep inside you made your walls squeeze against them. you’ve played with yourself before, of course, however it was then that you discovered that nothing could ever compare to the real thing: suguru’s long and slightly girthy fingers.

just when you thought that it couldn’t get any better, you felt a third finger—not inside you--but on your clit, rubbing the small bundle of nerves like you could’ve never done to yourself. suguru was so precise and exact with his actions which showed his experience. that’s another reason of why you’ve put all your trust in him. getting your virginity taken by a sweet, older and experienced man was probably ten times better than losing it to any guy your age, who were probably only out for sex.

suguru was there to make love to you.

your back arched once you felt suguru’s fingers increase their pace, the wet and squelchy sounds echoing through the room as they got louder the more your pussy got played with, his thumb almost overstimulating your clit to the point of release already—that’s how superb your lover’s hand movements were.

“no, no. can’t have you cum on my fingers like that.” you whine once you felt suguru take his fingers back the same moment you were about to reach your first orgasm by someone else’s hands. the older man smirks at this and kisses you on the lips, pulling away slowly with your bottom lip between his teeth, letting it lightly flop back into place as he lets go; “i wanna have you cum together with me, okay?”

you couldn’t refuse such a romantic request, thus you nod. suguru smiles back at you once more before his hands move to take off his sweatpants, tossing the piece of clothing to the side. your eyes widened as you were propped on your elbows, gaze lingering on the massive bulge formed at the crotch area, his boxers not hiding much of the shape.

once the underwear was off as well—that’s when you realised that your underlying anxiousness was not for nothing. suguru’s cock sprung free, it was slightly curved near his pink tip, drops of pre-cum flowing down the length. you haven’t ever seen a dick in real life, only ever on the internet, so this had left you stunned. you didn’t know what the average size was for a man, but there’s one thing you knew for sure: suguru was definitely way above the average size.

“cat got your tongue, princess?” he teased, his hand absentmindedly pumping his cock to the sight of your naked body underneath him. suguru didn’t even know that he started doing that in front of you; it was out of pure instinct. he couldn’t hide the excitement in his body, his shaft twitching in his hand as if it desperately wanted to feel your tight cunt around it.

“uhm, s-suguru..” you stammer a bit, biting your lip as your eyes followed his hand motions which got faster once your sweet voice called out to him. something about you looking a tad bit intimidated by his size made him want to destroy your insides to mush—have you beg him to fuck you as he bullies his whole length into your poor, small cunt.

“i know, i know..” suguru reassures you, free hand giving you a few consoling head pats, “i’ll try to make it as less painful as possible, okay?”

you hum and watch how your lover settles between your legs, spreading them enough to kneel before you, upper body bending forward to place soft pecks on your forehead; he was encouraging and preparing you more in his own way.

your arms instantly wrapped around his back, sweaty palms set underneath his shoulder blades—you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, just waiting on that moment. that feeling you’ve been craving, yet also have been avoiding.

you waited for a bit, however the only sounds heard and sensations felt were the slight dent in the mattress near one side of your body, the bed creaking faintly. suguru was leaning on side of his body, one arm stretched out to open a drawer, apparently searching for a condom.

once you realised what he was doing, you shook your head and tapped his back twice to regain suguru’s attention. his gaze immediately flickered over to yours and his head tilted to the side in curiosity; “i want the full experience—no condom, please.”

his eyes widened at the request. you seemed to be dead serious, eyes glinting determinedly, lips forming a little pout— it was impossible to refuse you, although suguru knew that he had to play the role of the older, more wise and experienced lover in the back of his mind.

he parted his lips to list off the reasons why you should let him use a condom, yet the words died on his tongue. you were impossible to say ‘no’ to. not when you’re looking up at him with those pretty eyes.

“whatever princess wants, princess gets.”

suguru prodded your entrance with the fat head of his cock, circling the hole and wetting it more by using a mixture of his pre-cum and your own arousal. you took another deep breath and tried your best to hold tightly onto your boyfriend, arms wrapped tightly around his back with your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck—bracing for impact.

“tell me if it hurts too much,” suguru whispers in your ear, leaving one last kiss on your temples before pushing his hips forward, folds stretching out and apart to allow his cock through and into your pussy.

did it hurt like you expected? yes. it most certainly did. maybe even worse than you were prepared for.

“fuck— nhhh, fuckfuckfuck!” you hiss whilst your nails dig into the skin of suguru’s back, probably leaving red marks because of how much you’re clinging onto him—like your life depened on it. that’s quite literally what it felt like to you; body being forced to part and make way for suguru inside you, pussy feeling like it was burning by how big of a stretch it was to fit him in—if he actually would be able to push all of his inches into your tight hole.

“sshh, shh, it’s okay, try to relax for me, yeah?” your lover comforts you the best he could, stilling his movements for a couple seconds before gently slipping his cock further into you. it pained him to see the discomfort written over your face, however you hadn’t made any clear signs of wanting this to come to a halt. in fact, you were encouraging him to continue whenever he stopped at any indication of hurt.

“i can take it.. p-promise,” you manage to moan out. suguru breathed in deeply at your words and nodded, kissing your lips in hopes to distract you from any pain you’re feeling, “you’re too good to me, sweetheart. really.”

both of you exhaled deeply as suguru finally bottomed out, a long minute of reassurance and pushing now behind your back. your eyes had watered up a little, chest heaving as you tried to accommodate to the new feeling inside of you.

“take your time.” suguru utters gently, voice sultry and sweet whenever its directed at you. his lips graze against your cheeks, smothering the area with pecks to take your mind off anything else. the locks of black hair tickle your chin and nose, the hairtie that usually kept a good chunk of his hair in a bun now out of sight.

suguru hadn’t taken anyone’s virginity before and that’s what also made this opportunity special to him. he didn’t know how to thank you with words, so he showed his gratitude throughout his actions; lips kissing your shiny tears away, moving across your face to your forehead and eventually to your own round lips which had formed a cute pout.

you could feel suguru smile against your mouth, his tongue gently tracing the outline of your lips whilst mumbling words of affection and praise; “you’re taking it so well, baby. such a good girl for me— love you so much.”

you giggled lightly at your lover’s appreciative remarks, focusing on returning the kiss instead of the tingling feeling in your lower body. you pulled away after a bit and looked up at him with nothing but pure adoration; “i love you too, suguru.”

if suguru had the ability to freeze time, he’d want to do it during this moment, just to relive this bit over and over. he’s sure that this exact instant will be engraved into his memory for the many years to come.

and once you’ve given him the green light to move, he did it with caution, slowly but surely. his hips moved back and then forwards, girthy cock dragging along your walls at a leisurely pace, but just enough to make your pain transform into pleasure.

suguru’s big hands were placed on your hips, sometimes they’d leave their position to cup your chin and make you face him. he doesn’t want you to look away from his eyes; he’ll think you don’t like this if you do. besides, the thing he loves most about being in the missionary position, is that he’s able to hear how good he’s making you feel whilst looking into your eyes to see your face scrunch up in satisfaction. it’s so romantic and perfect. just like you.

“my little princess is so pretty.” suguru sighs in content and kisses your tears away, thrusting into your tight cunt in a comfortable pace—not too fast but not too slow, “the way you take my cock and still manage to look beautiful while doing it— you’re incredible.”

if the physical pleasure wasn’t enough, his added commentary would certainly be. you moan and whimper phrases that sound like his name over and over again; you didn’t know what else to say as your mind was foggy with the amazing sensations your body was experiencing for the first time. that was fine with suguru since all he wants was to see you enjoy yourself—this moment was for you. everything he did was for you—every thrust, every kiss, every touch.

“nhhg, too good, so good!” you mewl and leave more scratch marks across suguru’s back, ones which he didn’t mind at all. it only served as further proof of this special moment. the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of your insides, puffy folds parted widely to make room for more of his length until it felt like he actually was balls deep.

“mhm—you’re, haah, tight..” the once calm and collected man seemed to let loose of himself the more he felt your cunt swallow him all the way, gripping onto his dick as if you didn’t want to ever let go. suguru grunts and moves down to leave a couple hickeys across your neck, hips non-stop pushing against yours, “don’t think i can last long—fuck, yeah—you feel amazing, baby.”

your eyes roll back as the pleasure seems to build up in your stomach as well. it felt like a coil that threatened to snap at any moment and it’d release another immense wave of pleasure upon breaking. your body was on fire, sweaty and hot, just like suguru’s.

“can you cum with me, princess? can you wait and hold on for me?” he asks, and the questions sound impossible, however you could at least try your best to fulfil his desires. you’d also want nothing more than to reach your peak together with the man you loved.

“okay—mmhh—together.” you nod and your body tenses up, legs subconsciously moving to wrap around suguru’s waist, heels of your feet simultaneously tapping against his lower back along with his hip movements. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold out for as your breathing patterns changes, whiney gasps and choked up moans escaping the back of your throat as your clit bumps against his pelvis over and over.

“almost, almost—“ suguru curses through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching while yours did the opposite. your body rocked back and forth and the bed felt like it was shaking along as well. you could tell by the way suguru’s hips rolled against yours that he was close—his eyebrows were furrowed, eyes half-lidded but not closed to still hold contact with yours and his hands clutched onto your waist. all indications of his nearing climax.

“mnph, gonna cum— shit, shit, shit, i’m gonna cum—“ suguru swears under his breath a couple times more before snapping back into reality at the last few seconds. he realised once again that he didn’t have a condom on, so his first rational thought was to pull out and finish himself outside of your body.

you were also nearing your own orgasm, not thinking rationally due to the intensity of the moment, any other thoughts except for the man on top of you were thrown out of the window. you felt suguru try to pull his twitching and throbbing cock out before it could spurt its cum inside of your dripping cunt.

you whined and shook your head, pulling suguru in for a deep kiss while tightening the grasp your legs had around his hips; “w-want to feel you cum in me— want you to fill me up while i finish too.”

suguru’s breath caught in his throat, almost choking on his own saliva from your bold requests. his only rational thought instantly vanished from his mind, now all that’s left was pure love, pleasure and desire. the mental image of his cum spilling and filling your pussy to the brim drove him to the edge.

“all yours, i’m going to give it all to you, princess, yeah? fuck !” both of you relinquished in the feeling of bliss, the warmth and build up reaching its designated ending— the expected waves of pleasure washing over you both. series of soft moans, whimpers and groans filled the room as your pussy was flooded with lots of hot cum.

it was like suguru hadn’t came in years—that’s how incredible that orgasm was experienced by the dark-haired male. the same thing goes for you; your legs were shaking, hips squirming up in aftershocks as you squeezed down on suguru’s cock, quite literally milking him dry of every drop.

“nhh, haah— suguru, love,” your tired and powerless whispers caught his attention immediately. your trembling hand held onto his cheek in attempt to make him look at you. suguru’s fingers curled around your wrist, turning your hand away from his face and to the side so he’ll have access to your palm. his lips left a ticklish trail of pecks on them until his mouth found its home: your lips.

the two of you exchanged deep, exhausted breaths, your boyfriend eventually pulling out and rolling onto his side to cradle you into his arms—hand placed on the back of your head to rest your body against his chest. the following seconds were spent cuddling as you tried to regain composure.

“you were amazing.” suguru sighs, chin resting on top of your head whilst his hand rubbed your bare back in comfort, “are you okay, sweetheart? nothing feeling off or anything of that sorts?”

you shake your head and snuggle up against your lover, content with how things are right now. the afterglow of your little session—of your first time, made you happier than ever. you couldn’t believe it’d feel this good. maybe it’s due to the one you’ve lost your virginity to.

“i’m okay.” you mumble and lift your head up to look suguru in the eyes, faces only inches away from each other. there were no words in the dictionary that could describe how you two felt. the closest word to explain it would be flawless.

“i’m glad, baby. thank you for trusting me.” suguru flashes you a small smile and strokes your head. you stay like that, bodies intertwined in a deep and comfortable hug, whispers of sweet nothings filling your ears and subtle gestures of love making you feel secure.

a couple minutes later and suguru noticed how you started to doze off. he chuckled to himself before pulling away from your hug and standing up, only to have you pout and complain about the loss of warmth.

“i’m just going to clean you up, love.” the soft-spoken man utters to you, laughing quietly at the adorable state you were in at the moment. you were so dependent on him.

“should i prepare us a warm, relaxing bubble bath as well?” he asks, squatting down near the edge of his bed and taking your hands in his, maintaining eye contact as per usual.

“that’d be nice.” you nod and feel your eyelids close slowly, “can’t promise i won’t fall asleep, though.”

suguru lets out a soft exhale through his nose, corner of his lips curling upwards at your little comment. he couldn’t believe he ended up dating such an unbelievably wonderful girl. it’s a blessing in his life of curses.

“i’ll make sure to at least clean you up if you do fall asleep, don’t worry. you’re safe with me.”

you were sure he was an angel sent down from heaven. it was more than clear to you—even if it may not be to many others out there.

“thank you, suguru.” you murmur as your body relaxes into the soft mattress, “i love you.”

“i love you too. more than you could imagine.”

#ෆ : choose your fate.#jjk smut #jjk x reader #geto smut #geto x reader #jjk x you #geto x you #getou suguru x reader #jjk fic

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81folklore · 9 months

Text

heaven - OP81 - part 3

pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: oscars girlfriend attends her first grand prix and the public get to see just how proud she is of oscar

authors note: ive honestly missed writing for oscar and priv!reader so we are back in honor of oscars FIRST EVER WIN AND INCREDIBLE SPRINT RACE!! im genuinely so proud of oscar and im honestly in shock. i also follow ZERO wag pages so i have no clue what they are like, if people actually follow them etc.

authors note 2: short-ish and sweet for OSCARS FIRST WIN?? i started writing this about 30 minutes before the sprint race so i had no clue where this was going to go but HE WON!!

part 1 part 2 masterlist

f1wagupdates

liked by user5, user81, user9 and 7,289 others

yn entering the paddock for the first time today! she followed shortly after oscar, spoke to some oscar/mclaren fans and handed a few who were unable to meet oscar, on his way in, some signed things she had. we absolutely love her already!!

view comments

user81: omg she’s literally the sweetest thing😭

user17: I LOVE HER ALREADY

user61: the fact that oscar fans already love her🫶🫶

user9: oh she looks so cute!!

user72: i was one of the girls she gave something too! she said she had been following behind oscar and kept an eye on anyone who he missed to give them something after he left. she was very very shy, but she made sure to speak to everyone who oscar missed and was asking us questions about us, overall she was very sweet!!

user22: this makes me love her even more😭and congrats on the signed stuff!! do you mind me asking what it was?

user72: thank you! and of course, we all got something different! i got a signed polaroid of oscar (im still in disbelief?! and it must have been one she took herself bcs i couldnt find the photo online anywhere), someone a bit down from me got what looked like a drivers card and i saw someone else get a picture of his car!

user22: A POLAROID?? oh you won😭😭

user1: i wonder if we will see her again

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 9,619 others

first qualifying in the paddock was a rollercoaster of emotions, not the result we were hoping for, expected or wanted but its ok because oscars gonna smash it tomorrow and we’ll pretend today didnt happen!!

view comments

oscarpiastri: glad you had fun🤍

oscarpiastri: my goodluck charm wasnt goodlucking today

yourusername: dont say thattt☹️ill try and be extra lucky tomorrow promise!!

oscarpiastri: i love you

yourusername: i love you more🤭

user3: the photo difference😭

user14: loved seeing you in the garage today

yourfriend3: i love you but those photos😭😭

yourusername: stoooop i was so nervous all day😭

yourfriend7: wish oscar luck from all of us back home!

oscarpiastri: 👍👍

user81: u are so cute☹️

user2: so unfair how they told oscar during the interview!!

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 9,182 others

changed outfits but we are ready for the sprint!!

tagged oscarpiastri

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri: love you lots and lots, thank you for coming🧡

yourusername: I LOVE YOU!! and you dont have to thank me, ill always stay with you🤍🤍

liked by yourusername, mitchevans_ and 817,175 others

PIASTRI STORMS TO SPRINT POLE IN QATAR!🤩🔥

He just keeps getting better and better!

view comments

mclaren: YESSSSSS!!!👏👏👏

user6: P1ASTRI

yourusername: INCREDIBLE🤩🤩

user18: more than deserved!

user73: absolute legend

yourusername added to their story

seen by oscarpiastri and 6,289 others

user6: AHHHHHH

user81: LOOK AT HIM GO

oscarpiastri: ☺️☺️

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 10,278 others

oh how i obsessively adore you.. today you took your first f1 pole position, hours later you became a formula one race winner (idc if it was a sprint you still won!!)

i have been on this incredible journey with you long before your first f2 race. i was by your side at your first f2 win and im still by your side now youve won in f1

i know how much this win means to you, i know how much you wanted to prove yourself to everyone and you have. you never fail to amaze me, especially coming back after the shit show that was yesterday

you are truly incredible and you are so so special🐨

i love you so much, congratulations🧡

tagged oscarpiastri

view comments

user61: WHAT IF I STARTED SOBBING

user11: THE KOALA😭😭

user72: so deserved🧡incredible drive!!

user68: the f2 race winner picture😭😭the f1 race winner picture😭😭THE SMILEY INTERVIEW PICTURE😭😭

oscarpiastri: my favorite goodluck charm🧡

oscarpiastri: thank you so much for sticking with me through it all

oscarpiastri: i appreciate you so much my love

yourusername: you are so special, lovely🩵

landonorris: usually i hate your sappy posts but ill make an exception this time..congrats mate!!

oscarpiastri: you too mate!

yourusername: knew id get you to love these posts eventually🤭

formula2: we’re so proud of our aussie🥹🐨

oscarpiastri and yourusername added to their stories

seen by yourusername, aussiegrit and 722,519 others

*text on first photo reads: my favourite thing is when i open my phone after a race and i see the photos yn sent me during the race🧡* *text on second photo reads: i love seeing my boy do what he loves*

oscar’s replies:

user52: shes so cute☹️

user12: tell me that was when you won the race and not before

user61: where can i find someone like her😭

yourusername: babyyy i didnt know youd share these😭😭

oscarpiastri: just had to show everyone how grateful i am for you🤍

user49: get yourself someone who supports you the way yn supports oscar!!

yn’s replies:

user17: oh i love you guys so much

yourfriend2: we are all so proud of oscar!!

oscarpiastri: i love you so much more than i can ever express

yourusername: osc☹️☹️ i hold so much love and adoration for you

oscarpiastri: wait when did you take this photo??

yourusername: i watched the final lap in the bathroom so i could sob in peace😭

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri #private!yn!oscar

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pierregazly · 10 months

Text

a diamond's gotta shine ꨄ lance stroll smau

lance stroll x fem!reader

pic credit: pinterest

i know lance is daddy's money through and through (and i love a nepo baby sorry), but he is so 'my love language is gift giving so i'm going to spoil my girlfriend with everything i can' boyfriend material so here's that basically

yourusername

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, estebanocon, and 467,891 others

yourusername he ALWAYS let me drive the truck... sorry taylor

view all 1,347 comments

lance_stroll it is not a truck and PLEASE stop eating in the aston martin

lance_stroll at least stop eating in it without me

chloestroll wouldn't want a matcha date with anyone else 💗

liked by yourusername and 462 others

username imagine just casually eating fruit in a literal aston martin??? i dont even eat fruit in my car in fear of everything getting sticky 😭

username i want her life so bad

lance_stroll

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, chloestroll, fernandoalo_oficial, and 1,206,708 others

lance_stroll spent the last 2 years with her shoes in my hands after nights out, hoping for a hundred more

view all 9,071 comments

yourusername i am SO obsessed with you

yourusername even after 2 years, gonna be obsessed with u forever lance_stroll wouldn't have it any other way

username the toaster and i have a hot date with the bathtub tonight

username the things i would do to have lance stroll hold my shoes in his million dollar hands after a night out :(

username i want someone to love me even half as much as lance loves y/n ugh

chloestroll i taught you well

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, yourfriend, estebanocon, and 450,687 others

yourusername all i asked for was a picture, and he decided to give me 2 years of his life and his heart. i'll love you til my lungs give out.

view all 3,491 comments

username all she asked for was a PICTURE 😭 and he gave her his heart 😭 and she'll love him til her lungs give out 😭

username im literally throwing up, sobbing, screaming, dying at this caption

lance_stroll my heart has been yours since the day you blew my breath away

liked by 5,782 users

username i usually hate lovey-dovey couples but these two... girl they got me wanting to be adopted frfr

username im calling it... girlypop's gonna have a ring by year 3 for sure

lance_stroll

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, chloestroll, and 203,456 others

lance_stroll yeehaw

view all 2,340 comments

username this is such a look... are we sure this man isn't from alberta

yourusername i will save all the horses if it means i get to ride this cowboy

username y/n.... estebanocon there are children on this app

username i was literally waiting for that y/n comment... these two are disgustingly unhinged

yourusername has added a story

liked by lance_stroll, chloestroll, and others

replies

lance_stroll why didn't you post the pic of both of us in the bath :(

yourusername i wasn't trying to traumatize your family my love lance_stroll u posted that you're going to 'ride this cowboy' but a pic of me in the bath is too much?

yourusername

tagged lance_stroll

liked by lance_stroll, scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 102,340 others

yourusername do you think i get to meet emily in paris or am i stuck with lance

view all 1,341 comments

lance_stroll i just bought you that croissant and coffee and this is what i get as thanks????

yourusername i am so obsessed w u im sorry my favourite cowboy 🥺

username this is so wholesome lance is so boyfriend coded im crying

username y/n is literally living her best life ever i want to be her so bad

scottyjames31 i just know all of these photos were taken at least 75 times

yourusername mind ur own business scotty

lance_stroll and yourusername

liked by chloestroll, estebanocon, mickschumacher and 2,304,550 others

lance_stroll watching you walk down the aisle will make me the luckiest man alive

view all 6,789 comments

estebanocon did you pay her to say yes?? congratulations you two 🥂

chloestroll even though i helped plan this entire thing i STILL cried on the phone. so happy for you both!!

username this man bought her like 5k worth of goodies and then put a RING that's probably worth my yearly salary on her finger??? god has chosen his favourite

yourusername im so lucky to be the one you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. je t'aime 💗

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @leclerces

i didnt tag anyone that specifically requested in the replies to be tagged for 'to live for the hope of it all' and all its parts (mostly bc idk how taglists work and i dont wanna bother yall), so if you'd like to be on my taglist for everything please send me a quick ask/dm (or u can just reply and say you'd like to be tagged for everything)! thank you for all the love

#lance stroll #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you #lance stroll smau #f1 smau #my writing #my smau #formula one x reader #lance stroll imagine #lance stroll fic #lance stroll one shot #f1 one shot #f1 social media au

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aristia-pjoheadcanons · 5 months

Note

Hi🩵 I hope you're having a great day

I was wondering maybe if you could make headcanons about how percy would be like in bed like his favorite positions and things he does to his s/o

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE 🩵

What Percy would be like in bed NSFW warning

check out my masterlist for more NSFW->masterlist

tags: percy jackson

missionary for starters: so he can see your face and your reactions from above.

talking about above, I think he would also enjoy the foreplay to start things off - placing his lover against the counter or on top of something and get between their legs.

There, he can take off their shirt or his own shirt and do things slowly. In his mind, the bed is where things really start, so he wants to get comfortable as possible.

the idea of pounding and going harder is for very obv. reasons a turn on but he is hesitant to do it because in the moment he gets really close, so hes afraid he'll cum.

he has the habit of not only staring but also looking away shyly when they stare back. Sometimes he will hold the stare until either looks away, he likes to build tension during and even before they start. When his s/o makes noises, his eyes flicker to their face, he thinks its really flattering that they moan because of him.

once after the first time(s) he would be comfortable enough to start using different positions.

He would stick with the classics, missionary, doggy-style (this one really got his heart pounding in his ears he was so turned on he couldn't breathe straight and kept panting).

He likes the idea of grabbing his s/o's leg or ankle and yank them into place, like dragging them toward him so he can get a better angle.

Percy wants to keep quiet, so he ends up scrunching his face ups and cocking his head to the side, biting down and clenching his jaw tight, sometimes even holding his breath slightly.

but as soon as he breathes, a noise always ends up escaping. its like a half-whine but its somewhat high-pitched and doesn't last long (meaning he doesnt let himself drag it out).

the sight of his s/o looking up at him or looking at them from behind makes his hands somewhat clammy and he feels embarassed that he needs to wipe them on the bedsheets.

praise him, dirty talk him (this one takes him by surprise) and he becomes such a love-struck fool willing to do anything to please his lover. He needs to know if he's doing well, otherwise he will spiral and his thoughts will consume him - to the point where he might even run away.

if his s/o takes the initiative he feels flustered but also insecure for a moment: was he not doing it right? mind you, this guy is a virgin and has not done things with anyone, so he can't help but feel insecure. but yet again, convince him and praise him and he is back.

once the sex and the pillow-talk comes, he imagines scenarios for the future: like his s/o straddling his thighs while they're either on the sofa or in his bedroom, his shirt thrown half haphazardly on the floor somewhere, gripping his s/os thighs and he's leanign his head back in pleasure ...

he takes more initiative, not afraid of grabbign your waist or hips during normal day-to-day activities...it becomes such a visible change that his parents are wondering what happened.

Percy becomes more and more confident in himself.

his favourite position is honestly anything really, he isnt picky. but if I had to choose one, I would say the position where his s/o is laying down on their stomach and hes ontop behind them.

he forces eyecontact, that's all I will say.

he frowns if they try to control their voice, he hates it and will grab their hands away. or do it harder just for them to not be able to hold back.

has tan lines dont ask where ...

handsy and grabby but it depends on what position they're doing and the timing, honestly it's pretty random.

whenever he licks his lips its pretty audible, you can just hear it from across the room.

quirks an eyebrow (not to be judgemental) if you say you're too shy, because you're both naked at this point sooooo. but not pushy.

wants to get to know your body: fingering, touching you anywhere, making out.

Im sorry i need to add on that i feel like hes the type of guy rhat would actually enjoy standing sex. Like his partner gripping the kitchen counter or the wall while hes behind. I feel like he loves to get a nice rhythm going and the sound of his balls slapping against them, the obscene wet noises coming from their genitals, the panting and moaning from the both of them, his fingers turning white from gripping their hips (he's trying to hold himself back), his mouth hanging open supressing his voice (he has a bad habit of holding his breath while doing this so when he finally breathes he's panting loudly), him grinding into the person to pause (again, hes about to cum), he wants to keep going for as long as he can, the idea of milking and dragging out an orgasm is his favourite way to do it. And when his partner finally lets out a long moan when they reached their climax, they unfortunately missed how Percy threw his head back and yelled in pleasure too when he came. I swear the walls slightly vibrated when he finished with that moan, his father is the earthshaker after all....

#percy jackson scenarios #pjo #percy jackson headcanons #greek mythology #ares #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy pjo #pjo series #pjo headcanons #pjo headcanon #pjo fandom #percy jackson thoughts #percy jackson fandom #percy jackson masterlist #percy jackson x reader #percy series

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monarcascension · 10 months

Text

wicked games | c.s

summary: He led you on for years. The one man you saw yourself with, could never give you what you so desperately craved. Love. After the devastation, you finally mustered up the courage to cut all ties with him for good and move on. At least… you tried to, until he manages to pull you right back in again.

pairings : choi san x fem!reader

tags: SMUT WARNING , MINORS DNI — vulgar language, infidelity, angst, some fluff, teasing, sensual language, unprotected sex, situationship, asphyxiation +♡

♬ — ACT A FOOL x LYRICA ANDERSON

word count: 11.3K

(Too damn long + im so sorry yall, but i hope you enjoy the story still hopefully ! lmaoooo 🩶 )

—

November 24th, 2019

San usually doesn’t ignore your calls like this.

Your worry was starting to grow with each flight of stairs that you ascended to reach his apartment. You sent message after message with no response, giving leeway to the most irrational part of you to think of the worst possible case. You stopped for a moment and opened your chat rooms again, finding Yunho, his roommate in your contacts and shooting him a quick text asking if either of them were home.

Of course San would do something like this after just asking you the night before to go on a date with him and standing you up.

Asshole. You asked yourself countless times why you still put up with him, but you fell short of an educated answer. You just loved him and that was enough of a reason for you. However, you were frustrated and freeing and had half a mind to turn around and leave, but your phone suddenly rang with a new notification.

Yunho had answered you. He said that he wasn’t home, but San was. He had talked to him just an hour ago before you arrived in the area. He said it was possible that he could be playing video games with his headset on and doesn’t hear his phone going off. He told you not to worry about him too much.

Easy for you to say..

The nagging feeling in your chest slowly began to subside at his response. Yunho knew you long enough to know that you loved to worry about San even if unwarranted. He also knew that you were in love with him before you did. Yunho was always present and knowing of everything without actually witnessing it himself. Sometimes his assuring and know-it-all behavior pissed you off; mainly because you wish you had that much confidence in everything around you. You envied him in more ways than one.

정윤호

81024# is the code for the key lock, you can let yourself in. If he is playing video games he probably cant hear you ringing the doorbell either. Dont steal anything ;)))

You laughed a little harder at that than you intended to. Why was he always so unserious about everything? You would question him on his behavioral tactics later, all you wanted to do was get out of the petrifying cold and be with San. So, you moved quickly– scared that if you stayed in one place for too long your boots would freeze to the concrete beneath your feet. You quickly shot Yunho another text, thanking him for his help.

Shuffling up the last flight of stairs, you grounded yourself on the platform and rounded the corner that led to the first set of apartments on the floor. You continued forward until you came to the eighth door. Your ears perked at the sound of movement inside.

And then a voice. And another.

Unfortunately, it was too muffled for you to pick up anything else, and you assumed that he had company over. More than likely Wooyoung. Maybe Yunho didn’t know he was coming?

Referring to the code that he had granted you, you slid up on the keypad and punched in the digits. A short and kind of cute chime sounded from the mechanism telling you that you put in the right code and the door buzzed, undoing whatever security measurements that came with the system and clicked open. You made your way inside, being welcomed to the familiar, manly, but still good scent of their home. The warmth from the heater hit you and you never accounted for how much you desired to be hot for once.

You pulled your boots off along with your coat before wandering into the rest of the apartment. Peeking your head into the living area just around the corner from the entrance where you knew their joint gaming console was. The television was still on and playing a show loudly rather than a game, which explains the voices you heard from outside, but he was nowhere in sight. Neither was Wooyoung like you expected.

He must be in his room. You thought.

As many times as you have been to his place and even spent nights here, you still felt like you were intruding– that eerie feeling telling you that you shouldn’t be here was looming over your gut, but you continued anyway.

“San?” You called out instinctively as you neared his bedroom. The door was closed, so you placed your hand on the door knob and pushed it open. The worst possible case was that he was naked, which you didn’t mind as you’ve seen many parts of each other anyway. “I’ve been trying to call you, but you didn’t-”

You weren’t sure what look you had on your face, but you were more than sure that it resembled exactly what you were feeling on the inside. Heartbreak. Your eyes went wide and your lips parted in shock at the sight of Choi San, the man you loved more than anything, scrambling from underneath a naked girl. A girl that wasn’t you. But it wasn’t some random girl. No. That dark hair, that disintegrating butterfly tattoo on the back of her shoulder. You knew her.

Your skin glossed over with a chill. And your heart broke into a million pieces.

It was Veronica. Your best friend. At least that’s what you thought until now.

“Jesus… What the hell?! What are you doing here?” Panic was obvious in San’s voice as he sat up in the bed, looking just as frightened and bewildered as you were. He climbed out of the bed and quickly pulled on his boxers.

“You…Are you serious?” There was nothing in you that tried to maintain composure as everything you were feeling began to bubble to the surface and you let it come out. “What the fuck are you doing here, V??”

“How the hell did she even get in here??” She barely even acknowledged you. Just looked to him like a savior of some sort. And that pissed you off even more.

San took a step towards you and you took two steps back. “Look, I can explain.”

You put your hand up to him to stop him from speaking. “Don’t…talk to me. You don't get to speak to me right now.”

“San, can you just make her leave? She’s being a nuisance.”

“Hey, stop. Just let me handle this.” San corrected her and she shifted in place, gripping the covers that were keeping her breasts from spilling out into the open.

Meanwhile, you shot daggers towards Veronica at her words. Your brows furrowed across your forehead, possibly leaving a mark from the tension that you could feel between the bridge of your nose. Your lip twitched with the want to say so many things, but no words were strong enough to show what you were really feeling. Rage.

You looked eagerly around the room for something. All you needed was something. Anything. That’s when your eyes locked onto it. A medium sized glass cup sat dormant on his computer desk, and with the quickness of a quality athletic star as well as the strength of one, you grabbed the glass and hurled it in Veronica’s direction before San could grab and stop you. She let out an ear-jerking screech and covered her head with her hands before the harsh sound of the glass shattering filled the room and silenced everyone in it. You couldn’t control yourself at that moment. You missed her by a few inches as the glass impacted with the wall just above the headboard, sending shards falling on the sheets and her. Part of you wanted it to hit her. You wanted her to hurt like you were hurting, but it still wasn’t enough to quell your anger.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You’re mental.” Veronica snapped.

“Seriously?!” San grabbed your arms, trying to push you back to get you out of the vicinity of Veronica. “You need to calm down.”

You pressed your hands to his bare chest and pushed him back off of you. “Don’t fucking touch me! Calm down?” You focused your gaze back on her. “You knew. You knew about us the whole time! And you do this?”

“Obviously, there wasn’t an “us” between you if he’s fucking me and not you. Right?” She spoke with such a venom lining her words and they were aimed directly at your heart. “Me and Jamie warned you. You didn’t listen.”

“I should have known from the beginning that you were a grimey bitch. You’d open your legs for anybody that so much as blinks at you.” You snapped back.

“How do you think that I got in his bed then?”

You were going to kill her. You felt like crying right there, but your blood was already boiling in a crimson pot. It not only pained you to hear those words from someone you once considered a friend, but from someone who also knew every single thing that happened between you and San. Every tear you cried was on her shoulder, every message of happiness and celebration you sent her, she sent you her congratulations. She was there for it all.

And she betrayed you. He betrayed you.

“I can’t fucking believe you…both of you.” You scoffed, backing away from San with weak and rigid steps. “You two deserve each other.”

You attempted to turn and walk out, but he grabbed your arm to stop you. “God, don’t be like that.” San coaxed. “This didn’t mean anything.”

He always tries explaining everything away, making everything seem smaller than what it was. Acting as if none of this was a big deal, but he just couldn’t see the pain in your eyes that was hiding behind the blind rage. You glanced down at his hand for a second and then back up to him, yanking your hand away without another thought.

“I don’t give a fuck what it meant. Whatever it is…that I thought we had? It’s over. Keep her for all I care, just don’t talk to me ever again. In fact, forget I exist–forget that we ever existed.” Those were possibly the coldest words that you have ever said to him. It hurt you to even say them, and you could see the sly grin that was on his face soon falter.

“You’re not serious. Come on, we can fix this. She doesn’t mean anything to me. You do.”

“Godd! You’re so full of shit, San! She meant something if it was enough to risk-.” Your eyes burned through him like you had laser vision. You wanted him to hurt. You wanted to tear him down just like he did you over the years. “Forget it.” He just couldn’t know that your heart was breaking into pieces. “And if I really meant something to you, you wouldn’t have fucked my best friend behind my back. I’m done. We’re done.”

He had heard you say that many times before, but now he realized you were serious.

You stomped out of the room, making a b-line for the front door. Quickly stuffing your feet back into your boots and grabbing your coat from the rack, you placed your hand on the door knob and was just about to crank it to leave when you heard San’s voice crowing and breaking from the same spot where you had just left him.

“Please, let’s just talk about this. I- I don’t want you to go. I-” He paused. “I love you.”

You thought when you heard those words from him for the first time, that it would light a fire in your stomach. You would smile like an idiot and throw yourself into his arms like a love sick puppy. It was everything you ever wanted to hear him say, but hearing them now? Like this, when you were on the verge of breaking down? All it did was burn a hole through your heart, severing the last bit of forgiveness you could ever give him– along with whatever love that remained.

A singular tear fell from your eyes but was absorbed by the thick fur of your coat. You didn’t even bother to look at him. If he saw you cry, it would give him the satisfaction of your sadness. It would tell him that you still cared. That you still could possibly love him despite what he had just done to you. That there was still a chance at redemption. And you didn’t want to care about him anymore. So from this moment, you decided to hate him. For good.

You took a deep breath. Letting that numbness wash over your heart. And with the last inkling of strength in your voice, you spoke to him one final time and meant it.

“Fuck you, San.”

계속하다

Present Day

Those were the last words you ever uttered to him since your relationship ended.

Calling it a “relationship” is a bit of a stretch though, it could better be compared to Hell on Earth. An excruciatingly ugly, painful, heartbreaking, love story that went up in flames once the final straw had been broken. The thought of it filled you with agony and it felt as if the pain would be eternal, which is why you stopped thinking about it completely. But for some reason it resurfaced.

For whatever grudge the universe had against you for whatever reason, the thought of what you once had, had oddly brought you… comfort. If that was the right term to use. It felt familiar even with the blight it left on your heart. That’s how he was, Choi San— albeit possibly your worst decision in a man at the time— he had a way of conflicting every emotion and thought you had just by saying a few simple words. He was a smooth talker, you see. Blessed and born with a silver tongue and a kindness that made his every transgression against you seem minute (my-nute).

He always had a knack of luring you right back into his trap whenever you attempted to free yourself. His smile brought you to the closest feeling of love that he would permit you to have, and his kisses made you fall even harder. If he cut you by his bastard-like actions, he would heal you with his words, or by fucking you so good that you completely forgot why you were angry in the first place. Until he does it again and the cycle continues.

It was all a part of his little game and you were too in deep not to play.

Each night with him that you did not spend yelling and throwing tantrums, you would lay in his arms and let the calm sweep you into a deep slumber. When you shut your eyes all you could see were the same blaring red lights that flashed constantly behind your eyelids. They were your warning. A wailing and urgent siren that was almost deafening to your ears, screaming for you to get away while you were ahead. Every neuron in your brain fired off in an attempt to make you aware of the damage that was set to ensue if you continued this way with him.

You never listened.

That was probably the most justifiable reason behind all of your sleepless nights. Maybe if you had heeded those warnings, and listened to your first mind back then to leave him before you gave him a piece of yourself , you could have been saved from the intense heartbreak later and the aftermath of pain that followed in his wake.

You hated him, but for some reason unbeknownst to you, you still mourned your separation.

He was your first love after all.

You built a fantasy world around your heart to protect it from the truth of who he really was. It was the only solace and peace that you could maintain by giving yourself a place to hide when false hope seeped in. The hope that he would love you back. It kept you content with your situation and never allowed you to think any deeper about a future with him until you stopped hoping completely.

You tried your hardest to forget every moment he made you smile, the softness of his fingers when he touched your most delicate places, the way his lips felt on your flesh, and every warm feeling that resembled even an ounce of love or admiration that you had for him. You tried to forget it all. You wanted to. You needed to. And now the only memories that remained were all filled with regret, anger, sadness, and hate.

Although it has been four years since you have felt that way, those feelings still linger even now, trickling into your present no matter how hard you tried to keep them in the past.

“Soooooo…the company dinner-” Yunho tried the topic again, but you quickly shut him down.

“Hell no.” You didn’t even have to look at him when you said it, just continued to work on the stove, stirring around the ramyeon that would be your lunch.

Yunho let out an egregiously loud, and seemingly frustrated groan. “Dude, you promised.”

You set down your cooking utensil next to the pot and cranked down the heat before turning to face him at the kitchen island where he sat across from you. “Yeah, I did! That was before you so graciously informed me that that evil bitch would be there.”

“I didn’t know that she was the event coordinator this time. The other one got booted off at the last minute, Jamie was the one that told me, and told me to tell you as soon as possible.” He explained, mentioning your— mentionably more loyal— other best friend of almost ten years, Jamie, moving his hands around so wildly while he spoke that it was hard for you to focus on him.

“Look, I’m grateful that you gave me a heads up!”

“Thank you for some recognition! Jamie and I work hard for you.” He said.

There he goes being unserious again. You sighed softly. “But that’s where it stops. I think if I get within ten feet of her I may actually kill her.”

“You tried that once, remember? Didn’t really work out.” Yunho grabbed the glass of wine sitting in front of him and took a sip of it.

Low blow. You flicked him off for his comment, visibly irritated at what he said, but all he did was laugh.

Yunho cocked his head to the side, leaned forward on the marble surface of the kitchen island and stared up at you with the most aggravatingly cute smile. “Did you know that you look even prettier when you’re pissed off at me?”

You rolled your eyes and turned back to the stove. “You’re annoying..”

“You love me for it.” He cooed.

“Debatable topic at best.” You said flatly, moving over to the counter to chop up the rest of the meat slices to mix into the broth.

The chair scraped across the tile. Heavy footfalls began to round the corner of the kitchen island, leaving your mind to the imagination of where Yunho was going as you focused on your task in the kitchen. The muscles in your back tensed when you felt a sudden weight pressed against it. Long, strong arms stretched out beside you; his hands found purchase on the counter and trapped you against it as your breath hitched at his closeness. Yunho cleared you in height alone, standing at a whopping 6’3 compared to you. You weren’t short yourself, but anybody that stood next to him would look like an ant. His presence alone was dominating and commanding and suddenly you felt much less brave than you did 3 seconds prior.

You stopped cutting and slightly turned your head towards him. His lips were pursed against your ear and you were scared about what would follow after.

His breath was cool and it made the hairs on your neck stand on end when he whispered, “I don’t think it’s that debatable..”

He placed a kiss on your earlobe. Another on your jaw. Your neck, canvassing the beautiful tone of your skin. He pressed his pillowy pair against your shoulder and it caused you to shiver. You could feel the smile pulling at his lips at your reaction.

“Yunho..you know we can’t. Jamie will be home soon.” You said almost breathlessly. The warmth radiating from his body also made you hot. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

“You even say my name pretty. How am I supposed to resist you if you talk like that?” His voice was deep and sultry, housing a slight grumble at the end of every word.

“What if Jamie-“

“I don’t care about Jamie. I care about you.” Yunho snaked his arms around your waist and spins you around to face him.

Jamie would probably kill you if she found out since Yunho was just as much her best friend as he was yours. Besides, I doubt she would want to know that the two of you ever had sex in the first place or how you even got there to begin with.

When you ended things with San, you also tried to cut every piece of him out of your life entirely. Including Yunho. Even though the two of you were close, he was even closer with San than you were. You didn’t need to have that constant reminder of the man that broke your heart, so you stopped talking to Yunho as well as his friend group entirely—etching that part of your life out of your head for good. However, Yunho didn’t take that too lightly.

A little bit after the incident one night, while you were crying your eyes out on the couch in the very apartment that you stood in, there was a resounding knock at the door. Thinking it was Jamie, your roommate, who left her key again, you wiped your tears and quickly shuffled to let her in. To your surprise as well as your dismay, it wasn’t the olive toned ginger you had come to spend your teenage years with, but instead Jeong Yunho in all of his terrible timing glory.

You tried to close the door on him and tell him to leave, but he stopped you. Insisted that he wanted to merely check on you since it had been so long since you spoke. He then spilled that Jamie knew you needed a friend and she wouldn’t be home for another two days, so she asked him to come see you. As much as you wanted to yell at her, you knew her heart was in the right place.

You weren’t sure how things got to where they did, but you remembered that he apologized over and over again for letting him hurt you and that he had no idea about him and Veronica. He said they even got into a fight about it and hadn’t seen San since that night. Him telling you that opened the floodgates and you found yourself pouring everything you kept inside out onto his shoulder. He held you with his fingers hooked into your hair and pressing you even deeper into his shoulder for you to cry. He said it was okay and he understood. He pulled you off of his shoulder and cupped your face with his hands, wiping away the neverending flow of your burning tears with his thumbs. Yunho called you beautiful. He hated to see you cry so he smiled and the sight alone unthawed the iceberg that you had locked around it. One thing led to another… and well.

He kissed you. You didn’t stop him. Nor did you want to. You needed him more in that moment than you ever had since you met.

You tried many times to end whatever it was between you countless because of your guilt, but Yunho never wanted to.

“Let’s be guilty together.” Is what he would say to you.

That’s how all of this mess started. Ever since then, it’s been an unspoken thing. There was no commitment there, but rather a comfort. Something only the two of you understood. You felt horrible, but at the same time it was just nice having someone. He was not yours and you weren’t his, but when you were together it was just you two. No expectations. Maybe it made you a hypocrite, but you stopped caring a long time ago.

For the first time you looked into his eyes and saw the hunger lying in his hues. He scoured every inch of your face, but danced around the lining of your lips as if he could taste them just by looking at them.

Throwing your arms around his shoulders, you pulled yourself in closer to him and smiled, lowering your voice to speak as if it weren’t only the two of you in here. “If I knew you were going to be this much trouble, I would have left you outside that night.”

Yunho moved in even closer, so that you could feel his breath brushing across your lips. “Well, since you didn’t, now I can do this.”

His lips collided against yours tenderly. They tasted just as sweet as they were the last time you kissed him, hinting at a slight berry flavor from the chapstick he frequently wore. They felt smooth and delicate against your own. Yunho guided you through the kiss and you followed. The kiss was gentle but firm, like he was trying to let you know that he meant every single word he has ever said to you.

His arms tightened around your waist more, tugging you closer to him so that your bodies were pressed against the other. The two of you were perfectly in sync as you explored each other’s mouths. Your fingers tangled into his thick blonde hair before dropping to his chest, fisting the white shirt he had on. With soft exasperated sighs in between each motion of your lips, Yunho dipped his hands down from your waist and around to your ass, grabbing almost all of you with both of his massive palms. You chuckled softly against him and he did the same.

Then you heard a clunking sound. Something similar to a chime. The door. A Lock. Keys. Oh God. Jamie. She’s home. The cute moment was ruined by the two of you scrambling to look as unsuspecting as possible.

“I’m baaaaaaaack!” Jamie sang out in an awful tune, sending goosebumps across your arms. Eerie.

You cleared your throat and continued cooking your lunch. Yunho acted as if he was rummaging the cabinets for snacks as your best friend came galloping into the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re here. Why?” Her words were laced with disappointment and you knew she was referring to Yunho.

“Ouch. Why did you say it like that? Am I not welcome?”

“You are! It’s just.. you’re a still man. I’m just shocked at your presence.” Jamie said. “Anyway! I come bearing giftsss!”

“What’d you get me?” Yunho asked, suggestively.

“Hopefully out of my house soon.” Jamie bit back.

You chortled, but tried to hide it when you felt Yunho staring daggers into the back of your head. You quickly finished cutting up the meat and added it to the broth to simmer, placing the lid overtop and turning to Jamie finally.

“You went shopping?” You asked her curious about what she brought.

“Of course I went shopping! You know what tonight is.” She sounded more ecstatic about it then you thought she would.

“Ohhh about that.” Yunho scratches the back of his head nervously. “I don’t think she’s going.”

“WHAT?” Jamie exclaims, looking expectantly between the two of you for an answer. “Why isn’t she going? Why aren’t you going? Are you sick? Pregnant?”

“Pregnant??” You questioned.

“Pregnant?!” Yunho also questioned, seemingly more shocked that it could even be an option. The two of you nervously looked at each other.

“I’m asking you!”

You waved her off. “No! God no. Veronica.”

“Oh.” Jamie untensed and set down the bags she brought in down onto the chairs in front of her. “That bitch. I forgot about her.”

“Exactly my point. I can’t be trusted around her.” You tried to plead to Jamie, hoping that she would understand.

“Good, you won't be around her. You’ll be around us. You’re going. I’m not letting that skank control your life anymore.”

“She doesn’t!”

“If you wont go somewhere because of someone they control your life. Look, I know you hate her. Hell, I hate her too for what she did to you but I can’t let you stay cooped up in the house all the time just because there’s a possibility that you might run into her again. Tonight will be fine, I promise.”

You appreciated Jamie for trying to be such an assuring force in your life amongst all the uncertainty surrounding you. She had a knack for pushing you out of your comfort level, and then it may appear to be forceful to some. Jamie never did anything unless it was with love.

“Hey, we won’t let anything happen tonight. I’ll even stay on Veronica watch if it’ll make you more comfortable.” Yunho piped up, leaning against the counter as he delved into whatever odd snack he actually managed to find in the cabinets.

“We’ll take care of you. It’ll be fine. Plus, I also spent $100 on buying a dress for you and it’s really freaking cute so if you don’t put it on, I will. But I’d rather see you in it.” Jamie picked up one of the fancy looking shopping bags, with a designer brand you had never heard of, and held it out to you expectantly.

You looked between Yunho and Jamie and their happy and hopeful stares caused you to cave instantly. “Fine… I’ll go.”

계속하다

This was the worst decision you ever made. Why were you here? The fabric from your dress was tightening around you with every movement you made, making the long leg slit that was cut into it ride a little further up your thigh than you were hoping it would. The heels you wore were comfortable, but you only wore these things on occasion and still weren’t the best at walking in them especially for long periods of time. And these company dinners are always long.

Yunho was the first to get out of the car, and in a gentlemanly manner he walked around to your side and opened the door.

“My lady.” He bowed before you and offered you his hand to help you out. The gesture brightened your smile and you accepted, feeling much like a princess on the way to a ball.

He assisted Jamie out as well and tossed the keys to the valet who dutifully took his car for him.

The place was flooded with people. Rich people mainly, stepping out of luxury cars and limousines. Almost all of them had a partner that they would ascend the stairs with— some were older men in their sixties with women possibly in their early thirties . Gross. You thought to yourself, but who were you to judge? Although, you were.

You looked to Jamie who was just more excited to go in as anybody else. Her dress was black, strapless and shimmery compared to your steel gray silk. Her hair was curled like a supermodel from the 1950’s, falling over the bareness of her shoulder more on one side than the other. Your hair was in coils, falling down the length of your back. Yunho wore a black tuxedo as well, complimenting the both of you, but his collar was slightly undone without a tie and opened up a V down to his chest where the only thing you could see was a gold chain that he wore fitted around his collarbone. He stepped in between the both you and Jamie and extended his winged arm on both sides for the two of you to take, which you did.

“How does it feel being my dates for tonight?” He chimed, sounding just as much of a man as he had always been. You rolled your eyes, and Jamie physically hurled.

“Is it too late to ask the valet to bring the car back?” Jamie mused.

“Considering that I’m your ride for the night. I would have left the sly comments at the apartment.” Jamie laughed at Yunho’s words and you did too, feeling more loose and less anxious than you did moments before when you stepped out of the car.

The three of you walked up the stairs together, arm in arm, following the rest of the crowd into the party. You felt a tug on your arm and suddenly a Yunho parked right beside your ear. You stiffened immediately.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He whispered.

His compliment made you hot under the collar, if you had one to get hot under, sending a spark up your spine. You cleared your throat and smiled up at the giant figure beside you. “You look handsome yourself. You clean up nice.”

“I try my best. If I would have known you would be looking like this tonight, I would have tried harder.”

Yunho chooses the worst times to flirt with you. Around all of these people and Jamie being right there, you grew more and more flustered as the conversation went on. He escorted you successfully into the party— giving you a full view of the large dining hall. Not only was it the biggest hall you had ever seen, it was also a ballroom. Tables surrounded the extremely glossy floor that was covered with a sea of people engaged in conversation. Chatter and obtuse laughter filled your ears, but it was so hard to focus on one conversation with how many people it was. Servers walked through the crowd with refreshments and offered the three of you one upon entry. You all took it and thanked him.

“I’m going to go mingle a bit and see if I can find the guys. Don’t have too much fun without me.” Yunho said, pulling himself free from the two of you, he slipped into the crowd but not without rubbing the back of his hand across your backside.

Yunho would be the death of you.

You and Jamie were left to your own devices now and there was no way you were going anywhere without her. You didn’t know anybody here except her and Yunho, so you latched yourself to her side.

“Oh! Oh, that’s the chairman I was talking to you about right there. Come on.” She motioned off to a group of people standing in a circle, laughing about something amongst each other. She pointed to an older guy, stout, but still kind of handsome? His hair was going gray, but still had streaks of black in it and he was dressed to the nines in a bright white suit. Bold.

Jamie clasped her arm around yours and dragged you over to his direction. She called out to the chairman who recognized his name, and Jamie bowed politely to greet him. He seemingly knew her very well because he greeted her by name, welcoming the two of you into the conversation. Jamie introduced you to him and you bowed as well, bowing to the others who you were amongst since they also looked like important people but you only stood there awkwardly. You had no idea what they were discussing, so you were there as moral support for Jamie.

Instead you looked out at the rest of the crowd and all of the different people in it. It was fascinating how many rich people were all in one room— hell you didn’t know this many of them existed. The ballroom itself was currently the most powerful place on earth. There were old men, young men, young women, old women. So many different types of people dressed in their best. You wondered where Yunho was and wanted to see if you could find him, but he was nowhere to be seen. He must have found his friends. Your curiosity got the best of you so you stared for a little longer to see if you saw them by chance. And you did, knowing that they were the only people in here with those hair colors. Most of them had their backs to you, so you could only tell based on that alone, who was who. Seonghwa with his black hair was standing beside Wooyoung and Maddox, who you had only met once or twice, Yeosang with his dark hair on the other side of him, and Hongjoong with his light brown was next to Jongho who stood in the middle of Mingi and…

Silence fell over you. You couldn’t take your eyes off of them. Off of him. No Yunho in sightz Only San. Veronica. Together. You didn’t realize how long you had to be looking at him because by some miracle he noticed that someone was staring straight into the side of his head. He suddenly turned and looked directly at you. His shock was just as apparent as yours, and you lost your footing for a second, stumbling into Jamie who was beside you. The chairman and the others turned to you with concern.

“Whoa, Are you okay?” Jamie asked, gripping your arms to hold you upright. “What happened?”

“I-I” You stammered.

Jamie cleared her throat and bowed to the Chairman. “Excuse us for a moment.”

She took you out of the circle and placed a hand on your shoulder. “What’s going on? Are your shoes hurting you? Are you hungry? Thirsty? You feel cold.”

“He’s here.” You said softly to her.

“Who?”

“San.” You said through gritted teeth, looking around, hoping not to conjure him up around you.

“WHAT?” Her voice elevated among the crowd and a few people turned to look. “What? He’s here. Why the fuck is he here?”

“He’s with Veronica and the others.”

“Oh that son of a bitch. He’s got some nerve. Where is Yunho? Is he with him?”

“I didn’t see him. I think I need a drink.”

“You need more than that. Come on.” Jamie grabbed your hand and weaved through the crowd that was gathering.

You followed her, not knowing where you were going in the slightest. Once you made it through the wave of bodies, you were pulled up to the large bar top.

“What can I get you ladies tonight?” The bartender asked, whilst cleaning out a glass with a rag.

“The strongest thing you have.” You said with no resistance.

“Coming right up.” The bartender immediately got to work, fishing out a few bottles from the shelves behind him and started pouring and mixing, taking orders from the other customers who walked up as well.

In a matter of minutes, he placed two orange colored glasses down to you and Jamie , sticking a lime in each slit of the glass. You thanked him and immediately drank it.

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea he would be here. I even looked at the guest list. That's how I knew Veronica would be here.” Jamie explained. “This is my fault. I should have let you stay home.”

You separated from the glass and leaned against the counter, putting all of your weight on your hands. “It’s not your fault Jamie. I just- I just need a second.”

“Okay. Okay…um. Do you want to leave?” She asked, placing a calming hand on your arm. “I don’t want to risk you two running into each other.”

Downing what remained of your drink, you let the liquor burn a stream of worry down your throat. You grimaced from the pain, but took it, sucking in a vat of fresh air to cool your lungs again.

“Yeah. I think I should go. I’ll go find Yunho.” you insisted, waving off Jamie from taking on anymore hassle.

“Alright, I’ll be waiting here and we can leave. Just scream if you need me. Well- don’t actually, but just call me.” She nodded to you half-heartedly. You had a feeling she was itching to follow you, but you didn’t need her to babysit you.

Seeing San was not what you had expected to happen tonight, but who were you kidding? Of course he would be wherever his friends were, they were inseparable. You just assumed that you would not have been there to even know it in the first place.

You slammed your drink back down on the bar top and gathered your clutch purse and your phone. Returning a reassuring nod to a very visibly anxious Jamie and wandered off into the thicket of the dinner crowd. You maneuvered through countless bodies, searching for a remnant of your friend. There was nothing really differentiating him from the other patrons despite his long blonde mullet in a sea of pepper-gray hairs so you looked out for that. You peeked through conversations, from behind the backs of stockholders and possible CEOs in the hopes that one of them would be Yunho who magically disappeared.

You wandering about so curiously earned you some concerned glares from the partygoers, but you gave them a soft smile in the hopes to ease their tension from seeing you so confused and distraught.

Where is he? The ballroom was large and there were so many people, you could be searching for him forever, but time was of the essence and you needed to find him so you could get out of dodge as soon as possible. The last thing you needed was to run into San or, equally, Veronica again tonight. You’ve had your fill of both of them for a lifetime even if it was for five seconds. A few minutes went by and you had searched a good sum of the ballroom floor, but there was still no sign of Yunho anywhere.

He wasn’t answering your texts or your phone calls, which was weird because he always answered no matter what. Where could he be that has him caught up? You looked around and thought for a moment and then it hit you. Standing on the tips of your heels, you looked around at the looming walls above the party hoping to find some kind of sign that pointed to the direction of the nearest bathrooms. Your eyes latched onto a black sign pointed towards a dark hallway that would lead you exactly where you wanted to go.

Quickly, you dashed that way, calling your pardons and excuses to the people you plowed through and or pushed by. There were people coming out of the darkness of the hallway, some men, some women who had just seemingly handled their business. None of who were yunho who you were hoping for. So you tread further. The hall was dimly lit by a few candelabras attached to the wall, giving it a soft yellow glow. Thanks to the light, you finally managed to locate the restrooms decorated with their set signs to let you know which was which.

Then, the door to the men’s bathroom flew open with a screech. Happiness filled your features. You waited for the moments that the striking, tall blonde would appear in front of you and crack a joke about how he drank too much and didn’t realize it.

“Yunh-“ You called out, hopeful.

But your hope was misplaced because as soon as the door opened and the man stepped out into view, you were met with black. Not blonde like Yunho was.

Your happy appearance fell. You locked eyes and both stood there awkwardly yet again. San. Of course it was San. Why wouldn’t it be San? You cursed the gods at the moment in your head.

All you could think about at that moment was escape. You needed to get away from him, you could turn around and get lost in the crowd, return to Jamie and tell her that you both lost your ride and couldn’t find him anywhere, but San was fast enough that he could catch you before you even managed to think about leaving.

So you had only one other option to make it look less suspicious. Your eyes left his and flickered over to the women’s restroom.

San called out your name, but his voice was lost to you as you charged through the door and let it shut him out.

There was no way he was going to come in here, anybody could walk in or walk out in a moment’s notice. He’ll have to leave or wait for you to come out and there was no way that you were doing that with him still here. Due to the lack of movement in any of the stalls, you assumed you were alone, so you walked over to the sinks and set down your purse, going back to your recent call logs and ringing Yunho again. You put the phone to your ear and paced against the polished tile floor.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up.” You repeated, wishing it was the magic words to make him reappear.

The phone rang and rang and rang. No answer.

“God dammit, Yunho.” You cursed and hung up the phone.

The bathroom door suddenly pushed open. You thought nothing of it, but silenced yourself to not disturb whatever woman was coming to do her business.

“So, you and Yunho are a thing now?”

Your heart slid from its position in your chest and down into the pits of your stomach. You quickly glanced up to see Choi San standing before you with his back perched against the door. In the women’s bathroom. He seriously came in here? Is he fucking insane?

He was simultaneously blocking you in and keeping whatever potential savior there was for you outside.

“What the fuck- you need to leave.” You commanded.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t have to answer you. The door is right there. Leave.” You pointed towards the exit again, but he didn’t budge.

“Are you together? Fucking? What is it?” He asked again, this time moving off of the door and taking a few steps towards you. He was working the last nerve you were willing to give him right now.

“Why does it matter to you anyway?!” You bit back, your voice echoing through the emptiness of the restroom. “You know what? Fuck this, I’ll leave.”

You grabbed your things and tucked them under your arm, heading right for him. You put your hand on the door handle and pulled it open slightly, but San slammed his palm against it and closed it on you again.

“It matters because he’s my best friend. And he wouldn’t give me an answer, so I’m asking you.”

You laughed. You didn’t mean to, but you found the irony in his statement too funny to pass up the opportunity. “I’m sorry, that’s just really rich coming from you, San, considering you fucked my friend behind my back.”

“And you fucked mine. So, that makes us even.”

“Not even close. Yes, I had sex with Yunho, but I didn’t fuck him behind your back. You lost all my loyalty, when you chose Veronica over me. That’s on you.”

He huffed, staring down at you with those piercing brown eyes. Now that you could see him up close, his once baby-faced features were replaced with a stoic disposition. His brows were thicker and sharp making them more prone to furrow. His jawline was sharp and tense from how he was gritting his teeth, seemingly trying to hold back whatever words were about to come out of his mouth.

“Look..” San spoke your name so gently that it threw you off guard. His eyes softened and he looked upon you with no awkwardness or fear. He looked.. genuine. For the first time in forever.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to hear whatever it is he had to say to you. “Save it, San. Please.. save it. I don’t want to hear whatever excuse you cooked up in the last four years, or rehearsed to say to me whenever we saw each other again. I don’t.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry? That’s… not what you expected. You didn’t have a snarky comeback for that one, it completely threw you for a loop. He doesn’t apologize for anything. Why is he apologizing to you now?

“I fucked up. I know and I realize that, even if it was too late when I did. I had already lost you at that point, I just didn’t know how to fix it. I hurt you. What I did with Veronica was stupid and it was on me. It was no one’s fault but mine. I’m sorry for everything that I put you through. You can keep hating me forever if you want, that’s your choice, but I couldn’t keep going on knowing that you were the only person who ever loved me and I ruined it and never apologized.”

Each word was like a shot to your stomach. Every ounce of resolve that you had was slowly beginning to crumble before him. You turned your head away from him, staring down at the ground for a moment, folding your arms across your slightly exposed chest.

“Why did you do it?” You asked firmly, still keeping your guard up with him. “Did you like her?”

There was a push on the door that startled you both and then a knock. You looked at one another in a panic and motioned to San to handle it since he was the one blocking the door.

San didn’t say a word and neither did you. He just kept a steady pressure on the door as they tried to get it open, until they only assumed that the door was jammed. There were a few disgruntled noises outside the door and then they walked off, leaving the two of you alone again.

“To answer your question. No, I didn’t like her. I didn’t love her—I didn’t feel anything for her that was remotely close to what I felt for you. I don’t know why I did it…it just happened. We were with friends and we were hanging out, we talked a bit, I guess a bit too much. Next thing I know, we kissed and well.. the rest was history.”

“And tonight? Did you come with her?”

He scoffed. “No. I’m not stupid.”

“Well?” You sang.

San glared at you.

“Sorry, it was too easy.” You shrugged. “Go on.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well, I did come with her, but I didn’t technically come with her. She just needed a ride, Seonghwa and I gave her one. I cut it off with her a few weeks after we…” He motioned between the two of you. “You know. She was already on to the next by then and we haven’t seen each other much since, until now.”

You nodded your head, feeling somewhat lighter now that he told you. “I see. Well, uhm. About Yunho and I..”

San stopped you before you could start. “You don’t have to explain to me. Let’s just say that it just happened.”

You nodded. “Yeah, it just happened.”

There was a mutual understanding in those words. Though you and Yunho had a deeper connection than what San and Veronica had, it was merely an understanding of position. You didn’t forgive him for what he did and San was probably livid deep down and probably couldn’t forgive you either, but the anger that was there from before was subsiding.

The two of you stood in silence for a moment before you spoke. “I- thank you for that, San. It was nice of you to apologize, but I have to go.”

You tried to open the door again, but instead of slamming it shut on you like he did last time, he grabbed you by your hand and held it in his. You whipped around to look at him and were met with the most heartfelt look you had ever seen him wear.

“Did you know that I’ve thought about you everyday for the last four years? I couldn’t get you out of my head for the life of me.”

“San-“

“No. It’s always been you. Everything has always been you. I can’t go to sleep at night without seeing your face. When I laugh, I think about yours. When someone smiles at me, I think about how yours was always brighter.”

“San stop.” You begged. You wanted to pull your hand from his, but for some reason you just couldn’t move. You had to get to Yunho. You needed to find him— you needed to leave. Why can’t you leave?

“Do you know what that feels like?” His hand tightened around yours. “It’s agony.”

“Why are you telling me this?” His grip only tightened.

“I meant what I said back then. I just should have said it sooner. I love you. I never stopped loving you and seeing you tonight only confirmed it. And if you don’t feel anything for me at all, we can free each other from this fucked up game right now. I’ll get out of your life for good.”

You stood there like an inanimate object. Not knowing what to say or what to do. You had felt everything that he was feeling ten times over and then some. Of course you thought about him in the past. You had thought about him living a life without you more than once. You thought about him every second of the day. The two of you were tethered by a string of damnation—you two were messy and you knew it, but you always thought that there was a possibility that you could work. Maybe he could love you the way you loved him. Maybe you could love him again. Maybe.. You wished maybe was a guarantee.

You wiggled your hand free from his grasp. San looked at you obviously distraught by the way the light in his eyes suddenly faded. You dropped everything that you were carrying in your arms as your phone and purse went clattering to the bathroom floor. Your hands moved faster than your brain ever could. You reached out to San, clasping both of your hands against his face and pulled him into you, lips crashing into a fiery slope of passion as he wrapped his arms around your backside like it was second nature to him. His build was much wider now and you felt incredibly small in his grasp, but San held you with every intent not to let go of you again.

As the kiss grew deeper, San careened his hands across your body, feeling the very places that he had been missing for the last few years. He worked your frame like he was trying to remember what spots connected to what, which ones were your favorites to be touched nowadays— he was trying to figure what kind of person you were now in just a matter of seconds.

Removing your hands from his chiseled features, you found new purchase on his suit jacket, which you tore off immediately, pulling the expensive fabric over his muscles. San pressed you against the door, letting your back meet the cool, polished wood; a single hand wrapped around your neck while an extended tongue flicked across your bottom lip, nonverbally asking for entrance, which you granted him with no hesitation. He slid his tongue between your parted lips and into your mouth, swirling his own instrument around yours. The kiss turned frantic, more hungry and needy. You moaned into his mouth, fingering the strands of his slightly long black hair while he simultaneously shifted the leg slit on your dress to the side, gripped the back of your thigh and pulled it to wrap around his slim waist.

This somehow brought the two of you even closer than you were already. He fell into you perfectly like a missing puzzle piece. You could feel his growing erection between your thighs each time he ground into you. The two of you were a bumbling mess of hormones and unsatiated emotions. San broke the kiss, using the same hand that was wrapped around your throat to tilt your head to the side. He attacked your neck like a predator, and you let him. His mouth was warm and wet and your body reacted almost instantly. You could feel the temperature rise inside your body. San continues his performance, lapping up the skin on your neck like it was refreshing to him, his kisses led down to your collarbone, your breasts. Unfortunately with the minimal time you had as well as the fabric of your dress covering the rest of you, San was limited in the love he wanted to show to your body, but that did not deter him.

Falling to his knees before you, he took the very thigh that he had wrapped around him and began to pepper it with kisses as well. Your hand was caught in his hair as you guided him, your mouth agape at the sight. You watch San with intention, as he kisses further and further up your thigh, inching the silver silk out of his way. You stuck your teeth into your bottom lip and smiled naughtily. San pulled his sharp gaze to you, and you could feel a gush between your legs. Why did he have to look at you like that? Your immediate reaction to this excited him and he continued onward in a devilish manner. Using both of his hands, he caressed your legs admiring you in all of your glory and fiddled underneath your dress, finding a latch on your panties and tugging them downwards to your ankles leaving you completely exposed.

San repositions himself as well as you. He places your leg just over his shoulder now, giving him a full view of your womanhood that was now glistening with your moisture. San licks his lips, practically salivating and grumbles with satisfaction even when he didn’t have a taste of you yet.

“God, I miss the way you taste. I think I need to remind myself again.” He said sweetly before moving forward against you.

Your breath caught in your throat once his lips connected with the sensitive hood of your clit. It was a small kiss to it, but it had so much power as well. You closed your eyes and rested your head against the doorframe, moaning softly into the air while San worked his magic. You still played with his hair offering some encouragement to continue even though you could not speak very clearly without a moan following soon after. San flushed his mouth against your pussy, you could see the lust swimming in his eyes as he stared at you the entire time.

“You’re already dripping for me. Good.”

He widened the part in your lips to give him enough room to slither his tongue inside, invading you, but of course you did not mind. It felt good already, you almost couldn’t believe it.

“Fuck..” you groaned to yourself, putting your eyes back on the beautiful man that was between your thighs.

His tongue prodded at your insides, slurping and sloshing about your velvety walls and sipping on the honey-like thickness of your juices. Every lick sent you further into the depths, you couldn’t control your moans. You almost felt too loud, but you couldn’t stop. And by the look in his eye, you almost felt like that was what he wanted. San continued to suck and kiss along the flaps of your portions , savoring every ounce of your flavor.

San separated from you for a split moment, leaving a string of his saliva as well as your wetness which his mouth was completely drenched in, and smiled at you deviously. “Damn, you taste so good.”

You could feel the rope that was holding your senses together slowly begin to unwind itself. You were too sensitive for your own liking sometimes and San knew that much about you. It didn’t take much for you to cave and now was no different. The way he was eating you out was almost too much to bear, but you didn’t want him to stop. You were just getting started.

San followed a figure eight movement on your clit, but moved his tongue like an expert inside of you, never leaving a single part of your pussy untouched. Your moans got louder and louder, you grabbed a handful of his hair and pressed him deeper into your temple. Your hips worked against his mouth and he invited it, digging his nails into your hips and pulling you closer to him. You whimpered, sounding more desperate than you had hoped to. With the way you were grinding on him, you were practically riding his nose at this point— each buck getting more uncontrollable than the last. San’s satisfied groans vibrated against your clit and you were even closer to losing it now. And he knew it.

San put more pressure on your clit using his free hand, massaging it in light circles with his thumb while he ate you out. You were getting attacked from all angles and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You let out a blood curdling yelp, followed by sharp moans and heavy breathing — releasing all of your pent up aggression onto his mouth. You twitched in place and tried to find some grip on the wall beside you to right yourself but there was nothing to hold you other than him. San lapped up your climax, and planted a kiss on your pussy before coming to meet you again. He didn’t give you a second to think as he kissed you. This time more direct and with intent. You could taste yourself on his lips. It was sweet and sticky.

“How bad do you want me to fuck you?” He asked lowly between kisses.

You were in a state of delirium, but you responded coherently. “Really fucking bad. I just want to feel you right now.”

“Good. Take it out.” He commanded.

You didn’t hesitate much to do so. You lurched forward, hooking one finger inside of his dress pants and pulled him closer to you. You undid his belt without issue, and his button followed, giving you free access to what you wanted the most. Your eyes were locked on San as you did this and he watched you with joy evident on his features. You swiftly pulled down his pants along with his boxers in the same fashion he did your panties, the belt hit the ground with a clanging noise leaving San exposed to you. He was just as big as you remembered him being if not bigger. It frightened you almost the way it stood massively at attention, twitching with eagerness. A smirk found his features, his tongue ran smoothly across his K-9’s and you had a feeling that you were in for a treat.

San pressed you flat against the door again, closing the space between you with his body. He kissed your lips again, and then your cheek and hummed lightly against your skin. “I can’t wait to see how pretty you look while I make you cum.”

San wrapped his hand around his hard-on, glancing down as he rubbed himself against your warmth, letting out a low rumble in his throat from the sensation. You soft groans mixed with his as the adrenaline pumped through your veins, filling the next few moments with anticipation. He pressed his tip against your opening, and slowly pushed himself inside of you— filling that space that he left empty. Your mouth fell agape at the shock of his size, it felt like he was stretching you out completely just to adjust to his size.

He started moving inside of you slowly at first, helping you to get used to him. “I got you baby just keep taking it, you’re doing so good.”

“You’re so fucking big..” you huffed out, holding onto San’s wide shoulders as he dug you out.

His pace quickened slightly, he wrapped your leg around him again, angling himself to hit you in just the right spot while he bounced you on his dick. His thrusts were powerful, but cohesive. His hips had a flow to them that made it feel like he was fucking you in waves.

“Yeah, you feel good wrapped around my dick. You take me so well.” He complimented, lurching into you at a speed that you were trying to keep up with. His hand was still wrapped around your neck, squeezing the air from your lungs. The pressure was comfortable, but just enough to heighten every sensation. You held onto his arm, scratching at his skin.

Still sopping wet from the last climax you had, the sounds of skin on skin contact along with the constant sloshing of your insides, was the perfect storm for the both of you. San gripped your thigh tightly, hiding his face in the thick of your neck as he roared loudly from the pressure building up against you.

“Oh San, Right there!” You coached, holding him close to you as he fucked you. Your nails clawed at the fabric on his shirt so harshly you thought that you would pierce it. The remnants of your sexual encounter were running down between your legs and you were almost at your limit. “Oh fuck, I’m going to cum.”

“Cum for me.” He stammered. “God, you’re so wet.”

His dick pumps into you at a pace no man should reach, making you cry out for him in pleasure. You grip tightly onto his backside, struggling to keep yourself upright while he fucked you senseless to the point you lost your balance. If it weren’t for his strength, there was no way you were standing up on your own.

San was committed to making you cum first, but he becomes sloppy the closer he gets, but he doesn’t stop. “Cum for me babygirl,” he demands, “Cum for me..!”

And like a dog with a whistle, you obeyed his command and came. Your orgasm smacked you like a ton of bricks, and everything came rushing out of you all at once with no forgiveness. San followed suit with your flow, hearing the beauty of your moans and bursted inside of you. His pants were ragged, and his grunts were deep and gravely. The two of you tried to catch your breath, but the air escaped you. The two of you stood sweaty and stuck together with your juices intermingling inside of you. You were high off of all the sensations. It took you more than a second to come down off it. San collapsed into you and you did the same.

“That felt good..” He said into your skin.

You stared blankly up at the ceiling, admiring the intricate designs of old Renaissance paintings that you had never noticed until now. Your vision began to come back to you, and you were welcomed to reality once more. And the realization hit you.

“Yeah..” You responded shortly.

San pulled out of you and collided with the door beside you. sweat beading off his brow.

“About what you said earlier. About me feeling something for you?” You turned your head to look at him.

He glanced back at you with a wandering look, but still curious as to what you were going to say. “Yeah?”

“I still feel something for you, San. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, but…” You paced yourself, swallowing your own spit to lubricate your throat as you said the words. “After everything we've been through, I don’t think I can love you..”

“Why not? You said you felt something right?”

“I do,” You paused for a moment trying your best to find the words to say it, but you took a deep breath and finally let it out.

“I…I think I fell in love with Yunho.”

TO BE CONTINUED IN

‘LOUDER THAN BOMBS’

(OUT NOW)

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

Hii cutie! Sorry bc my first language it's not English.. First of all I LOVE your writing you do write so sweet about everything and I love that you write about actors too with all the respect!! I was wondering.. I hope it's not too much, if you'd be able to do smth like ewan x actress!reader where she plays his love interest in hotd and they're so comfortable with each other and everyone in the cast can see the chemistry between them but they're afraid of showing their feelings to each other and just think that's just friendship, but somehow someone tries to open the eyes to one of them making the other one jealous and... You know, just write it however you want and of course if you want it, I trust you for this one!! Thanks sweetheart <3

Easy To Be

Ewan Mitchel x Actress!Reader (low key Aemond x Reader)

Summary: "It's really hard to be cruel to you," Ewan mutters. I snort, "if that's hard, then it must be hell to have to kiss me." He hums, "quite contrary," he looks off to nowhere, "I enjoy that more."

Word Count: <500

Warnings: Fem!reader, actress!reader, it starts off pretty violent, fluff, pining, annoying!cast members, crack fic, typos, etc.

A/N: Idk why i'm writing this when my head hurts but i hope you enjoy nonnie though i did take liberties!!! OH WAIT I ALSO WANTED TO SAY DONT *EVER* APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR ENGLISH. ENGLISH WISHES IT MADE MORE SENSE /: AND gurl your english was flawless 🤨 fr you better than me. THANK YOU BY THE WAY FOR YOUR SWEET WORDS ABOUT MY WRITING! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui @antisociablewallflower @lxdyred

Aemond shoves me against the wall and presses me back, hands on both of my shoulders. He huffs, "you must think me either a fool or insane."

I whimper as I try to break away, "no, I know you're insane."

He scoffs and he grabs my jaw, titling my head up just as he draws his dagger and presses it against my cheek, "and do you think I think you're special?"

I make a sound as he tightens his hold on my face. "It will do you good to remember," he leans against my ear, "I can be betrothed to a great many other women. You ought to not test me again."

He shoves away as he storms out of the room.

"CUT!"

I release a sigh and gather my dress as a bunch of stylists come up to redo my make up and fix my wardrobe.

Once that was done, Aemond, or rather, Ewan walks back to his mark and looks at me, "are you alright?"

I smile, "a little rough this time around, but all good."

Immediately he stiffens and walks up to me, grabbing my hand, "shit, I'm sorry. Does it hurt somewhere?"

I grab his arm and step forward, "no, no," I shake my head, "it was just a really intense grip," I make a face, "it was kinda hot-"

"BOO GET A ROOM!"

Ewan and I turn to our side.

Someone makes hurling noises. "KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS-"

"Why are you even here?" I quirk a brow, "you don't even have a sce-"

"YOU TWO ARE GROSS, JUST KISS ALREADY!"

Ewan rolls his eyes and turns back to me.

"EWAN IF YOU DON'T KISS HER, I SWEAR TO FUCK I WILL."

Ewan huffs and looks to the side, "and shall I stab you instead?"

My eyes widen at his reaction. The morons lose their shit after hearing that.

He turns back to me and with knit brows, "I will be more gentle next take."

"No, it's fine," I shake my head, trying to ignore the way I was burning up, "I can take it. Honestly, I'm more concerned about how you keep stepping on my dress."

Ewan brings his hands together and chuckles, "sorry. I'm quite eager. I be more mindful of my steps."

I smile some more.

"-I CAN'T BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT THOUGH!"

We continue to ignore them.

"It's fine, Ewan. Just don't trip on me or we'll both get hurt."

He nods. "It's really hard to be cruel to you," Ewan mutters.

I snort, "if that's hard, then it must be hell to have to kiss me."

He hums, "quite contrary," he looks off to nowhere, "I enjoy that more."

"... w-what-"

"WAIT, WHAT DID HE SAY?!"

#aemond fanfic #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemon targaryen x you #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond #house of the dragon fanfic #aemond fluff #aemond targaryen fluff #aemond one eye #ewan mitchell #ewan mitchell x reader #ewan mitchell imagine #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell fluff #ewan mitchell x you #rpf fanfic

947 notes · View notes

writingstoraes · 11 months

Note

Hey are you still accepting request idk but if you are, can you please write a charles x famous actress like FAMOUS famous if you get what i mean 😭😭 and people doesn't believe them being together even tho he listed her as his fav actresses because they are like "there's no way he bagged this goddess" and rest is up to you honestly i tried to be very vague because at the end of the day it's still your story!!

unbelievable 🎬

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!actress!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: hello lovely! yes i am accepting requests but as of now i'm only doing ones w charles (those who requested for other drivers pls be patient hehe) thank you so much for requesting and i hope you like this 🤍 hope you don't mind i tweaked some details!

about: as much as fans adore charles, they deem it "impossible" that rumors circulating social media are true!

YouTube, now playing: 2023 Grid, 5-Second Challenge

1023 comments

livelaughleclerc: totally relatable i would also risk my life for y/n

ynloves: oh who is he he's so adorable 😣

f1fans22: charles is a big fan of y/n and he will never live it down i fear

filmlines: KING HES SO RELATABLE

yourusername

liked by lanadelslay, charles_leclerc, zendaya, and 2,395,921 others

yourusername Word on the street? 💐

filmluver mam what do you mean word on the street the word is literally you and a formula 1 driver dating

lecssainzzzz this is so sick literally right when the dating rumors are setting twt on fire 😭

hamilecsz you're telling me there's a possibility her and charles are actually dating...

ynpopper who????? f1thusiast charles leclerc, he's an f1 driver, there's a rumor they're apparently dating

moviegeekz A soft launch??? Well this is new 🤭

lecsstappen CHARLES LIKED???

f1bees girl ofc he's her biggest fan its not surprising 😭

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, alexalbon23, and 1,204,295 others

charles_leclerc Some pop of color for today.

landonorizz THE FLOWERS???? SIR???

hamilt0n oh my god what if the rumor is actually true i am going to break down

sainzmilton ever since that rumor came out i haven't known peace 😣

maxyrbr19 i still dont believe he can pull her....

scuderiasz calm down guys he's just being a fanboy 🙏

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername, lorenzotl, and 1,928,249 others

charles_leclerc Would still be your biggest fan even if I wasn't your boyfriend, but who says I can't do both?

Joyeux anniversaire, mon amour ❤️ Happy anniversary, my love.

tagged: yourusername

yourusername Glad to know I remain unparalleled as your favorite actress, baby 😘

charles_leclerc You're my favorite person, too 🤷 pierregasly Now that's just sick, Charles

daylightlando OH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

f1paddockz power and it couple of the year i said what i said

carlossainz55 Now we said she was our favorite actress too but why weren't we acknowledged?

landonorris YEAH??? yourusername I'm sorry...

yourusername

liked by zendaya, arianagrande, selenagomez, and 8,294,392 others

yourusername My biggest fan 🤍 Sometimes it's unbelievable I get to be with you everyday.

yncults we love u queen we're so happy for you 🙏

lovingyn SO ADORABLE

filmpopz the hardest a hard launch has ever launched im afraid

charles_leclerc Some say it's the other way around 🤣

lecsluv he saw the comments omg 😭 ferrarirbr we're sorry we ever doubted you, king 😣

----------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz, @boherahpsody (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)

notes: thank you so much for reading <3

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thatoneguydownthestreet · 1 year

Note

Hey so how would lilia feel about apocalypse yuu and the obvious world ending war and after effects from where yuu is from?

Thank you for feeding us apocalypse yuu <3

I started maniacally laughing as soon as I read the name lilia

FEM ALIGNED DNI

How Lilia Vanrouge reacts to the war and its effects:

Lilia would say your relationship was pretty good. As nameless and as vague as it was. It was...peaceful.

It was nice.

You were learning to trust people, to trust him. To let your guard down just a little bit more each day. To speak your mind and make decisions and to just simply walk with him without looking over your shoulder every few seconds.

He’ll never forget that feeling of happiness and relief when you fell asleep with him right there next to you for the first time, or when you saw him enter a room and he saw your shoulders drop just that much.

Once, in the pop music club room, Cater had asked him how he got you to relax around him so easily. He only gave a small chuckle and a vague response, as he himself didn’t truly know at the time.

He still doesn’t. only having a few loose theories here and there, but he is grateful to be able to know you just a little bit more than the average person. To be able to live this long to see you come here, to this world, scared and confused and hopelessly, utterly lost, and then to see you start to really live for the first time.

He hopes he hopes that he’ll be blessed enough to live to see you thrive.

Honestly? he thinks it’s because of something simple. So, so simple

He listens.

Not to say the others don’t of course, they listen!

they just ...don’t really believe you.

Lilia doesn’t blame them, honestly.

It truly feels like you exaggerate your past and lack of knowledge at times.

The most obvious example he can think of is when epel, that pretty first year boy, gifted you one of those beautiful red apples that grew on his parents farm, only for you to look at it with confusion and distrust.

You didn’t know what an apple was.

You didn’t know what most fruits were period. (Or cheese, or most meats,or most vegetables, he thinks he saw you reboot like an old computer the first time you saw milk) Often confusing the names and refusing to eat them if you forgot what they were.

It was at that point where he could tell your rag tag little group of friends started to doubt your words. Just a bit.

He would have too, if not for the clear, heavy distress that simply couldn’t be faked that was ever so evident on your face when he'd asked.

“Perfect, do you really not know what any of these fruits are”, he has taken extra care to keep this conversation playful. He wasn’t trying to embarrass you after all.

You simply huffed, a bit of frustration showing.

Lilia ignored the little happy spark he got from seeing you show what you were feeling. You were getting better at that.

“Of course I don’t! we don’t have fresh fruit in the tunnels! Not to mention things like "cheese" and dont even get me started on good meat!”, you said it like it so obvious...

You never explained what the tunnels were. But lilia could guess.

He had a bad feeling about them either way....

So yes. The others listened. But you could both see crystal clear that they took what you said with a heavy grain of salt.

Lilia on the other hand, believed every word. Or at least tried too.

So when you asked him to swing by Ramshackle saying you wanted to show him something, how could he refuse?

Really, how could he?

....

Lilia Vanrouge didn't know what he was expecting. He knew it was probably something big, judging from your earlier tone of voice.

But this....

this was just sickening.

you sat shirtless on the floor, with your arms out in the air in front of you.

with your scars on full display.

there were (oh great seven) there were slash marks all across your chest. Ragged and uneven and ugly. Looking like whatever cut them in took extra care to truly rip and tear your flesh apart.

There were burn marks on your shoulders and your stomach. Looking like they came from both fire and electricity. The electric burns spiderwebbing their way up the side of your neck and around your sides.

There were what looked to be claw marks and dog bites on your stomach as well, like you were almost frantically mauled to death and just barely made it out with your life.

There was a circular hole he didn't know the cause of on both sides of your right forearm, the underside scar being in the same spot but significantly worse.

There were like deep (deep) bruises that he could see everywhere on your body.

and then there were the marks on your back....

There were whip marks and lashes absolutely everywhere. Slashed across every which way, overlapping with each other and digging into your flesh. there were a few places that he swore had less skin than others. and oh God some of them only looked a few months old.

Some of them were fresh when you came here.

Lilia didn’t know what the rest of your body looked like, but he already knew that your back was in the worst condition out of everything.

A small whimper snapped him out of his thoughts.

You were still on the floor, now sifting slightly, like you were embarrassed.

Embarrassed. What an odd little human.

Lilia immediately got down on the floor and sat in front of you, dust and possible bugs be damned.

He didn't touch you, only looking at your face and tried to make eye contact.

He tried his best to avoid looking at your neck. The lighting in this old dorm was bad but he swore he could still see a slash-

"Y/N....can you please look at me?", gentle. Just keep the tone gentle for now.

You still looked away from him. Lilia sighed.

Gently, oh so gently, he brought his hand to your face and slowly turned you head towards him.

You didn't flinch. Not once! And if lilia silently celebrated this feat later? Well, that was his business, and his alone.

Your eyes held a hint of fear when you looked at him. Fear of rejection.

Why would he ever push you away for something like this?

...Did someone do that before?

He heard you let out a faint, shaky breath, trying to find your voice.

He still didn't say anything. Just let you take your time. He couldn't rush something like this.

So he sat there, just out of reach as to not overwhelm you, as you took a deep breath and tried to compose yourself.

"So uh...I'm sure you have questions", you tried to say it in a way that lightened the mood, but your voice came out small.

It was fine. You couldn't lighten something like this either way.

The fae infront of you looked at you with the patients of a someone who's lived a dozen lifetimes and counting, which made you relax just a bit more.

Good.

"That I do perfect, but make no mistake, you are not obligated to answer"

"No! No, I- I want you to know. I wouldn't have shown you otherwise...", your voice trailed off.

Lilia took a deep breath.

Ok. Sharing scares.

Sharing memories.

Sharing war stories.

He could do that. He's done it before hundreds of times. He could do it again.

He just...didn't want to do it with someone so young. Someone who had absolutely zero business doing any type of life or death fighting.

Unfortunately, life was a total bitch and just loved putting him in these exact situations.

"Ok...ok. so why don't you tell me about...this one first", lilia pointed to the circular hole that went through your arm. He wanted to know what caused it.

(And maybe. Just maybe, find something that could heal it)

You sighed a bit. He thinks in relief? And smiled just a tad.

"Ok... that one was caused when me and a rescue team were trying to locate one of the medics that had gone missing during a surprise raid on the southwest base.... I wasn't even supposed to be there really...", you trailed off again. Your eyes glossing over a little.

Well. That couldn't happen.

The last thing he wanted here was for you to relive any one of these scars.

"What was the medics name?", it was the only thing he could ask, really. He didn't understand much of what else you had said.

You took a deep breath. Right.

You weren't there anymore.

"Caroline. Her name was Caroline. And she has a sister named Kate.... she's the one who put in the request for her to be found. Her body, at the very least"

Lilia began to wonder what exactly happened during these "raids". And why it required children to clean up the aftermath.

"Caroline. She was the medic. Ok.... you said you weren't supposed to be there?"

You looked a little sheepish at that.

"Yeah... our base was short on explosives manufacturers so they sent me. I was still learning but apparently I knew enough to go out there anyway. Heh...yeah, it didn't turn out too well"

....explosive manufacturers?

Lilia had met and worked with plenty if mages that specialized in more.. dramatic shows of magic. Especially during the wars.

How, lilia wondered, was something like that simulated without magic?

...He didn't know if he wanted to find out.

Instead of asking what in the seven an explosive manufacturer was, he asked:

"Why did you have to go though? Surely there were other uh...people in your field? That had nore experience", he kept his tone soft, trying to keep you unaware of the anger that was slowly building in his gut.

You silently shifted where you were sitting, looking like you regretted this more and more.

Damn.

Carefully, he added, "where were the others?"

"...active combat was getting more and more rare....no one thought- I mean- we just needed farmers and hunters and medics more than we needed weapons at the time"

The look on your face was...hard to describe as you struggled to explain your past situation as quick as possible. Like you would be punished if you didn't do it fast enough.

Hm...

"Y/N...", lilia started slowly

He had an idea of what your world was like.

He had a good idea of what your world was like.

And he was hoping that he wasn't right.

Your head raised a bit. Making eye contact with him and calming down just a little. Good. But he was going to feel all the more guilty about what he was about to say.

"Were you by chance, involved in any type of warfare?"

Lilia didn't know what you'd do. He had been ready for anything. For you to scream and shout and scratch and fight. For you to try and deny what you both already knew for whatever reason.

But you never did.

Instead, you just tilted your head to the side, like a confused dog.

Then you said:

"The war ended around...50 years ago? 60? I don't know for sure. The records were all destroyed, and the elders that fought in it are quickly dying out"

Lilia breath hitched.

All those scars. All their stories. Are from the aftermath? The aftermath of a finished war is still producing what lilia believes might very well be child soldiers.

And then you spoke again.

"When I was...I think twelve? I don't know. No one really knows their age. But I was definitely around twelve. The other manufacturers with more experience and a better idea if what they're doing got sent to the northern bases. They were needed there. They wouldn't tell me why"

...

...Twelve?

"Anyways, a couple months later -or were they weeks?- some time later, Caroline went missing"

Twelve?

"And I was really all they had to send"

Twelve.

"Now that I think about it...it was probably because they could replace me well enough if it didn't go as good as it did"

Fucking TWELVE?!

"As good as it did?!", lilias voice startled you out if your own head.

You looked at him. He looked back at you with an expression of exasperated rage.

You stopped talking.

"As good-as GOOD as it did!"

"Y/N. Y/N there is no good in this! This-" He grabbed your arm. Gesturing to the old, half healed scar that had started this whole mess "-is terrible! Dammit this is a crime against morality!"

...

...oh.

You looked at your arm. At the old shot gun would you had gotten after getting your arm stuck just outside if the entrance to the tunnel you and your temporary team had taken.

You could barely even remember why you had it out in the first place.

To throw a grenade you had put together on the spot? A stick of dynamite? You didn't know.

All you knew was that it hurt.

It still does sometimes.

You looked down at your own body.

They all still do sometimes.

....

Oh God...

You looked back at lilia, and the night resumed.

None of what you said will likely never be repeated outside if the walls of Ramshakle. Not all of it at least.

You didn't tell lilia about the scars on your back. You probably never will.

That was fine.

You told him what you had to do to survive, and he told you that you shouldn't have had to do that in the first place.

There were things that were never really explained. Like guns or grenades or that old, abandoned army tank that you played when you were a child.

("So it's a car...with a Canon on it?"

"Uhhhh. Sure. Yeah")

And other things...

Well. Turns out some scenarios are seen a bit different here.

You don't your age.

That's sad. Not bormal.

You don't know who your real parents are. The high infant mortality rate in the southeast base and the tunnels surrounding it that most mothers simply give away their children to avoid the pain of burying their babies.

That's a tragedy. A horrible, horrible tragedy.

Not normal.

Just like your life.

........

As soon as he got back to Diasomnia, lilia went to check on silver. Then sebek. Then malleus.

Silver and sebek were asleep. And he could see malleus taking a walk about the dorm from his bedroom window.

They were safe. Lilia felt his shoulders drop for the first time that night.

...and then he did something he never thought he would need do again.

Slowly, lilia walked over to his desk, lighting a tall, white candle and setting out an expensive piece of meat.

Wasn't the best offering, but it'll due for now.

He hoped it would at least.

Religion had long since died out of twisted wonderland as a whole, with only a few churches and temples remaining in certain parts in the shaftlands and a few of the older families in briar valley truly practicing in this modern age.

Even so, later that night when his dorm and his children were all sound asleep, lilia knelt beside his bed and prayed to his old god for the first time in centuries.

He could only hope that they would be answered.

#twst x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #lilia x reader #disney twst #apocalypse reader

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