#i just had to make this sad af also
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You know what's fucking stupid? The little mean voice inside my head that tells me being in a fandom is childish and "aren't you too old for that" and "aren't you feeling ridiculous caring (and projecting) so much for/onto fictional characters" bc literally no MUM, I'm in fact just doing what I love and it's cruel that I feel ridiculous to this day that I'm building up my personality through fictional characters bc I never knew who I really was and fandoms are giving me the opportunity to explore that. Yes ofc that's not "normal" or whatever but is it really that bad? Like I'm feeling better through that, it's giving me motivation to do things. So yeah... Thanks.. another reason I have to unlearn shame I suppose.
#johnny's silly rambles#when i was crying in school and maybe had some merch clothes on I'd feel so ashamed of myself#like oh you're crying and probably thinking what your fav character would do? that's pathetic#and ofc I'm not that anymore like I'm proud of my fandoms and I'm not hiding the fact that I'm in them#and i can even tell people about why i have certain merch and stuff#but back when i was a child i hid that i liked a character better than some people their fucking social security number#i taught myself not to react when their name dropped and not to blush and stuff#which is ridiculous like what's so bad about liking a character????#but past me was so ashamed of everything i enjoyed...#which is making me extremely insecure about the things that i like now as well tho#like when someone would say they don't like bsd I'd feel genuinely hurt#hm actually not bsd as a whole probably. it'd probably be more like if the person didn't like ranpoe#or when my mum said that she thought mtp was absolute garbage#(we watched the first 10min btw...)#like thanks... you could've phrased that better and now I'm insecure af and sad..#“but i can say i didn't like it” yeah well...#maybe that's my fault for being this insecure#but still i just think that was a dick move#anyways uhhhh thank you for reading this long and also sorry lol#vent
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
#it hurts but it is natural and im not oversensitive and im allowed to feel this way#the future i had envisioned and hoped for and believed in was just.. suddenly gone and im allowed to mourn the loss#because for an entire year i've been wanting this. and imagining it and thought of ways it could be real#and i didnt base my feelings only on imagination but on his words and him saying that we should figure out whatever was between us#and in the way we talked and what we shared and how he did start treating me as 'his girl'#which i also do not think was irresponsible nor am i upset by that. bc i wasnt 100% present bc of my avpd stuff#but it was so amazing and he was so amazing and i'd been having feelings for him for half a year before and then i only fell more and more#im trying to be as non specific as possible bc like i can only talk abt *me*.. but there were just sm other things and circumstances#so it got less and less intense.. and i wanted to give him space and patience and not push smth on him and be insensitive#then i told him abt being in love w him and wanting to be there for him w his struggles and working it out together#and im embarrassed af but i had honestly thought... that would be met well and with reciprocity...#(i understand that feelings cant be forced & im not upset or feel betrayed i just felt v sad bc i was so sure he would want me to be his gf#but i got neither a clear rejection nor much of what he was thinking abt me and what was between us. mostly just that it wasnt a good timin#so again i wanted to respect that and not keep push it. even if i tried bringing it up sometimes it never got anywhere and it didnt feel#right to just keep and keep on doing it. then there were times when i /felt/ rejection and got more hope based on interactions#truly i've been walking around for a year believing that this was smth that would come true if only we could talk#and i've been waiting and hoping and loving. and i've really been thinking of it as a real future#i even tried telling him a few months ago that if he wants me he can have all of me but he told me to stop so i did#and now i've learned that none of my devotion or hope was returned... i've been in this waiting room all alone all this time#i thought i was patient bc of all the other things but he couldnt give me a chance but he did for someone else and that just hurts#idk it hurts bc this love and connection meant so much to me and i wanted to do anything to make it work#and when u realize all of a sudden that it was only u who felt that and that future u so badly thought would happen isnt real#.... i feel extremely lost and despairing. plus it just is how i feel but i've only been this connected to him#honestly it might sound weird how i can feel this much for someone i've never met irl but he has been my only hope and comfort#for the past years he hs been my only comfort and the only thing making me feel good and ok and hopeful.... so it hurts it hurts it hurts!!
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FHR SPOILERS
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I avoided to Argent’s romance because I didn’t think I’d like it but I finally played it and I was so wrong I was so wrong, she is so girly pop murder fiend “I have morals but only sometimes” ass kicking nanovore-made cupcake eating god princess
#dex talks#I had fun with her romance lol#fhr spoilers#fallen hero retribution spoilers#fallen hero retribution#fhr#I love that she’s made of nanovores thats so epic I wish I had an option to call her badass in the hospital#also I got the highest relationship with her than I’ve had with literaly any of the other characters EVER#I think it was about 91? which I didn’t think was possible since I didnt booby trap her brain#Listen even in rebirth that felt too mean to do okay#I wonder if she can connect to out nanovores or if them being neutered ruined that#imagine you deploy nanovores on her and she just instantly intigrates them into her body lmao girl boss#I also like the idea of a sentient creature/ hive mind and am always won over by it so ahrhjfbgg#hive minds my loves my dearest loves#ortega is still my top and canon romance but argent is an easy second#sorry to danny but you’re my least favorite 😭#chen’s just makes me painfully sad he finally falls in love again and its to the worst person possible#im so sorry chen#rambles#i wanna see a jake romance i hope i can get my puppet back cause flirting with him was fun af
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Tis' the season where I mentally and physically suffer. Complaining below (feel free to ignore, I'm just venting. I usually do this every year to get most of it out of my system lol):
mmm the fall/winter SAD is indeed in full swing. No warmth + no sun = a bad bad time. I always get so annoyed when ppl assume that I love winter bc I'm a "winter baby", as if that has any sort of divine intervention on instantaneously adapting you to perfectly fit the climate you were born in. NOPE. Silly human superstition. I start to freeze once it hits below 20C. I wish I lived in a warmer climate o|-<
The depresso is probably going to make me very whiny and moody until next spring, so an early forewarning bc I'm EXTREMELY annoying about it this time of year bc it's the only way I know how to deal with it.
But moreso in addition to the physical stuff is how badly it messes with my mind, making me so depressed to the point of just... sitting in non-moving silence where I become stiff as a board (very painful btw) and I isolate, making the bad depresso brain time even worse where I overthink everything bc of the silence and isolation. It's also always the time of year where everyone goes quiet too, which is understandable, but also makes things 10x worse (I am very alone in my life and where I am, and kind of rely on online friends bc they're all I have. I don't even have a pet. I'm literally just, loner mode. I don't really have much family to speak of, and only one family member I do speak to. I have little to no connections at all. But regardless, this is still the best living situation I've been in my whole life, so that's saying something).
#i hate the cold; I hate ice; cold air hurts my skin and burns my lungs#i hate snow (I'm sorry I just don't think it's pretty. It's gross; erases all colour/everything; blinding; kills everything; claustrophobic#I hate long nights; i hate all the darkness#I take Vitamin D drops every day during winter and they don't really help#I also use those special lights meant to help during the long darkness for the same reason; and they also do not help#nothing works!!!!!! eating and drinking hot things doesn't help me stay warm bc heat dissipates away quickly and doesn't help my extremitie#the cold makes me SO dry and dehydrated; makes my bones hurt; makes outside DANGEROUS AF. ICE IS BAD. BE CAREFUL.#I can't retain heat; my hypothyroidism makes me colder by default and I just don't metabolize good/fast enough to keep myself warm#(my body temp is lower than average; fun fact! same with my blood pressure! both of them are very low)#I think my average from all the times I've had it scanned during covid was 32-36C. No idea how that works; I just remember checking it a lo#my fingers and hands are going to freeze; making it harder to draw/type/etc.#I'm not going to wear gloves inside my home bc that's dumb and they don't help anyways. It will just screw up my ability to use my hands#I get to be in pain for months with increased potential of being sick :/#also I HATE bundling/layering myself with clothing or blankets; it's suffocating; restricting; sensory hell for me; sweaters are uncomfy :(#also whenever I try to do that all it does is insulate the cold for me; keeping me colder for even longer!!!!! it's so unfair!!!!#I've worn out 2 space heaters already and they don't work properly anymore (I used them both so much I wore out my preferred settings lol)#sobs; i'm a sad plant lizard
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long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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:’)
#to start this w a good note lol#bro almost all the music i’ve heard since we got to this vacation spot was done on gIee LOLLLL#not even just at the hotel where they were playing xmas music so like ofc a lot of that but also other music#that was just . all done on gIee lmfao#but also on the shuttle ride here from the airport#the driver had like disco music playing and istg it went from like#staying alive to u should be dancing to uhhh disco inferno#to idk if it’s disco but after that was u can’t touch this lmao 😭#on to the not so good part bro it’s day one why i gotta be so sad lmfao#im blaming it on the like 2-3 hrs of sleep 🤩#it ok i actually feel not bad for only 2-3 hrs of sleep before flight LOL i’ve been banking up the sleep so that rly makes a difference lma#i feel fucking ridiculous tho bc i feel lonely af and unwanted on a family trip#bc my brother has a childhood family friend to hang out with who for the fucking record i was also friends with#and last time we were together for a significant amt of time idk why but my brother freaking ignored him basically#ik they exchanged snapchats tho recently and they’re both like buff gym guys now lmfao so idk they’re besties now so#i kinda feel like i can’t hang out w them#and then idk my parents like yeah and then my grandma so i’m just kinda hanging out w my grandma#they all went onto the beach i think and i’m here in a room w my grandma and i spent fucking like 30 minutes watching the beach bc i didn’t#know where they were and they didn’t tell me and like overthinking whether i should go#i got as far as tying my hair up and taking out a change of clothes#and then almost cried and gave up and took out my book and came out on the balcony lmao#like what am i even complaining about. but idk#it all goes back to that lovely middle school friendship that left me fucking devastated bro lmfao 🤩#idk if that’s actually the reason but i’m blaming it all on that LMAO#anyway we’re here for a while so . i’ll just chill and read today bc i do want to read more and i kinda in the mood recently#also another thing was that my skin is still being a little fucking bitch#and i’m so hesitant abt doing anything w it so like going in ocean water#anyway. fuck my fucking brain i hate it here#it’ll be better tmrw when i’ve had some fucking sleep lmfao#jeanne talks
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Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.
#it was about that leak from weeks ago. dad got quite the details about it. he walked right into that one.#and that dear sir is why we do not try to bring news about the hyperfixation. i will know about it and you will hear about it.#dude even got the history of fallout 3 as a bonus. since that was the one he mentioned 😂#he also got a very veeeery long version about why i would necessarily get so excited about the leaks.#you know age of the document. the whole company sale thing. how much the time line clearly has already gone to shit. etc etc etc.#yeah... yeah i think he really came to regret that one 😅#listen i have only slept 5 hours. am high on caffeine and painkillers- almost had a migraine ok.#which means i have like 0 filter rn and am quite brain tired. i will not realise how long i am going on for once i get started rn.#the info dump has started and it will end when i brain says so. i sure af won't notice I am doing it cause I'm just excited to share#not until i manage to like finish my long ass story do i realise i went on for like a good 20-30 minutes... oops.#and that may just be a generous estimate cause i got really going on the infodump ok. it was a blast. ngl.#i am very passionate about fallout ok. this is what happens when you fall asleep to fallout lore most days of the week.#yes i lost the plot ages ago about this hyperfixation. it makes me very happy. so i don't even care. i will keep doing it.#til the hyperfixation dies and bring great sadness to the lands... til we find something else. god knows when that is though.#i am very ok if fallout hyperfixation just... doesn't go away actually. i like hyperfixation. brings many a solution when upsetty.#.... i really need to stfu up now. hi. 👋 why are you still reading this??? these ramblings of a madman. 😂#ryder speaking#i got this far before i realised i did not in fact write wouldn't get excited... well i aint fixing it now 🙃
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#okay you know what's depressing af#i just watched chappell roan's statement video about how people are treating her#and i had previously assumed the fans' behavior must be REALLY over the top if she made a whole video about it#but listening to her describe what happens to her on a regular basis made me go UMMMMM#because... almost all that shit happened to me on a practically daily basis when i lived in atlanta#like i'm not even exaggerating here. and i'm no one. not famous at ALL#this is just the way you get treated if you're a woman who spends her days walking in that city#the stuff she describes in her statement is genuinely so mild#except that it's NOT. it's totally valid for anyone to feel upset about it!#which just makes me realize once again how deeply extremely fucked up it was#that i was subjected to that shit every single fucking day for multiple years of my life#literally would not ever leave the house without noise-cancelling headphones and big reflective sunglasses#and i still had total strangers talking to me; calling to me across the street;#yelling 'compliments' at me; yelling insults at me; yelling really disgusting stuff at me#following me for blocks and blocks while cussing me out#grabbing my arm to stop me when i tried to walk away from them; or otherwise touching me without my consent#getting right up in my face all of a sudden so i legit thought i was being attacked for a moment#total strangers telling me that they'd noticed me around and apparently figured out where i lived#...i could go on for a while. but i won't. bc even just remembering it brings me down#anyway i'm not even particularly a chappell roan fan but i am feeling a lot of sad solidarity with her right now#while also thinking 'oh honey... you would not survive a month in the ATL :')'#this is one of those moments where i'm like 'oh. yeah. i guess it actually really is valid that i have legit trauma from those years. huh'#oof#street harassment cw#cosmo gyres#personal#tag rant
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#lifes been a mess af post corona. developed social anxiety AND few personal reasons why i didnt want to meet or ask anyone#i loved my friends i still do but earlier it was like I'd always mAke plans idc if u dont want to but im gonna ask cos ily & i want to see u#i was mad at a friend cos she was coming to meet and then that very morning her dog died and she had to cancel which meant ive#had to wait few more days to see her where ive already had to wait a year cos of lockdown#so what i meant to say is id physically be sad if i didn't meet my friends#but then smth happened which made me shut myself down completely#cos if i go and ask how are you or ask to meet ive to tell them about my life and listen about how well they're handling it ..that thought#made me anxious. i just couldn't check upon them cos i was fucked myself and also didnt want anyone to check upon me#few of the people reached me past few weeks and i felt bad for not meeting them cos i genuinely cared so much about them for long#this anxiety and shit costed me relationships#so lately ive been trying to reach out and speak to people making plans to meet. ik they'll understand my situation and if they dont ive#no option but to let them go#which i had to and was brutal but i did#anyways this has been weighing on me for so long#but really i love ny friends and i hope i get to be a better friend to them#im glad ive few friends and my family or idk what I'd have done#shreya's diary
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so yeah imma be posting about yoongi and this new album for a hot sec so i apologize in advance for my fangirling.
#had to stay offline for a moment with recent events and i'm ngl it still feels kinda weird to post#but music is my number one coping mechanism#and yoongi's music specifically has always spoken to me so deeply - has helped me personally navigate some really tough times#so in the spirit of my own personal healing/processing i'm gonna be posting about his new album soon#this is just how i'm coping personally#sorry if these tags are extra af but i just wanted to share a piece of my mind and make it clear that#as someone who also loves astro's music - moonbin is still very much on my mind#still trying to figure out how to simultaneously hold that shock and sadness while also interacting with the larger kpop scene#as i'm sure many people are#ok just wanted to acknowledge/speak to that for a sec#everyone please take care of yourselves and remember to take social media breaks <3#please know that i want this to always be a safe space
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⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Close To You
♥ masterlist
♥ pairing: oscar piastri x lily zneimer x f!singer!webber!reader
♥ synopsis: as the daughter of mark webber you got to know oscar piastri pretty quick and soon enough the two of you were dating. no one had known that you both were also dating lily, leading everyone to believe the leaked pictures of her and Oscar was evidence he was cheating on you. they couldn’t have been more wrong
♥ smau - fc: gracie abrams - none of the pictures are mine
♥ warnings: swearing and hate comments !!!
♥ a/n: my first poly fic! ty to bestie liz and cleo for hyping me up <3
liked by aussiegrit, oliviarodrigo, taylorswift and 656,305 more
y/n.webber channel that sad energy into a song queen
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user8 hope you're doing well 💛
user3 ilyy
user6 pls shes so unserious 😭
user5 that's so real
user9 wait so did her and her boyfriend break up?
user2 I'm pretty sure. everyone's been speculating it and they haven't been seen together in a long time
user1 is she making a new album ???
user10 liv and tay in the likess 🫶
user7 I still can't believe she's mark's daughter omggg
user12 those family genetics 😍
user2 we love you <3
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by oscarpiastri, oliviarodrigo, and 583,694 more
y/n.webber cut my hair in the way that i've wanted
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user9 change my number and bury my wallet !!!
user8 augusta <3
user12 LOVE
mclarenf1 we'll see you at the GP
y/n.webber <3
user10 shut up y/n is gonna be there?
user6 I thought she had a concert that day?
user1 @/user6 she has one the night before :)
user5 no bc how is she so pretty
user13 oscar in the likes 👀
user7 GORGEOUS
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by y/n.webber, user7, user12 and 502,669 more
f1gossip mark, y/n, and oscar are ready for the australian grand prix
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y/n.webber @/aussiegrit I'm starting to think you like Oscar more than me :(
oscarpiastri he does ❤️
yourusername 🖕
user8 now kiss
user14 enemies to lovers
user4 my favorite australian trio
user1 why'd he have to shave his beard 😔
user9 THE CAT
user2 oscar and mark pookie off
user10 everyone pray for an oscar home race podium
user3 🕯️oscar home race win 🕯️
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by oscarpiastri, aussiegrit, and 703,562 more
y/n.webber date night <3
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user7 I love how she doesn't even have to tell us she's dating oscar because we all just know
user9 THEM WATCHING TANGLED 😭🫶
user3 oscar getting her lilies :')
y/n.webber actually I got him lilies
oscarpiastri 🧡
*liked by original poster*
user4 this is the cutest shit I've ever seen
user1 mark in the likesss looks like oscar has the stamp of approval
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by y/n.webber, aussiegrit, and 750,683 more
oscarpiastri lando crashed our date
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landonorris I did not "crash" your date I just happened to be there.
oscarpiastri as if you didn't follow us
y/n.webber @/landonorris you LITERALLY crashed into the back of my kart
mclarenf1 lando we talked about your internet stalking problem.
user8 PLEASE 💀
user6 why'd they have to call him out like that 😭
user2 the admins are my favorite part of the f1 cinematic universe
-A Few Months Later-
liked by aarondessner, taylorswift, and 984,059 more
y/n.webber The Secret Of Us is out now! The songs on this album are a collection of my life these past few months and I’m so excited to share them with you all. Special thank you to @/aarondessner and @/taylorswift I love you both 💛
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user1 I hope she rips oscar to shreds
user7 y/n better than revenge era
user9 !!!
user3 girl you can do so much better than o***r
user12 I'm so ready to scream and cry to this
user2 I cannot believe he cheated on her
user16 out of all the guys on the grid OSCAR?!?!
user11 kitten I'll be honest I'm still not over good riddance 😔
user8 LMAO
user9 so true 😭
user15 hyped af for the taylor collab
user16 the fact that she's the daughter of mark, the man who supported him since day one and he STILL cheated on her is CRAZYY
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by taylorswift, oliviarodrigo, and 985,750 more
y/n.webber throwback to my time at last year's era's tour. I'm so glad to be back 🩷
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taylorswift were so glad to have you <3
*liked by original poster*
oliviarodrigo miss youuu
yourusername I miss you too babes
user9 "and you knew my last love let me down" OSCARRRRAHHH
user7 AND I BET HES AT HER PLACE RIGHT NOW
user10 I'm so excited to see you
user16 he fumbled so hard
user4 we love you <3
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, and 1,194,203 more
y/n.webber I understand that, without my agreement, @/f1gossip put out a post a week ago that said Oscar Piastri was cheating on me. This is wrong and I am in a happy relationship with both Oscar and Lily. He did not cheat on me.
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lilyzneimer I love you 🩷
y/n.webber I love you more
user7 😨
user1 I'm not even sure what to say
user12 I'm so sorry oscar we weren't familiar with your game 😭
user3 I-
user6 in true bi panic fashion
user4 FUCK 😭
user19 everyone say sorry Oscar
user2 sorry oscar
user5 we're sorry Oscar :(
user13 WE DIDN'T KNOW WE SWEAR
user10 sorry Oscar 😔
user21 💖💜💙
user23 the @ is such a boss bitch move
user8 saying sorry to Oscar online isn't enough I need to revoke my statements in a court of law
user7 same
liked by lilyzneimer, y/n.webber, alexandrasaintmleux and 884,472 more
oscarpiastri flowers for my favs 💐
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y/n.webber my loves 🩷
lilyzneimer 👩❤️💋👩
user7 my favorite throuple
user23 as if you weren't hating on oscar yesterday
user7 and I am deeply ashamed
user12 we said we're sorry :(
user6 yea oscar x lily x y/n are cute but wheres mark x fernando x taylor
user9 as in swift? 😭
user6 yes.
alexandrasaintmleux you three are so cute
y/n.webber <3
#𝒍𝒊𝒗'𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 ౨ৎ#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smau#op81 x you#op81 x reader#op81 x y/n#op81 fluff#op81 fic#op81 smau#oscar piastri x lily zneimer x reader#lily zneimer x reader#lily zneimer#wag x reader#f1 poly#f1 poly fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula one fanfic#formula one fic#f1 smau#f1 social media au
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Friendly Banquet
Pairing: logan sargeant x american!fem!reader
logan gets chosen to host the end of the year dinner and that means the grid meets his girl
a/n: I’m firmly ignoring august 27th and choosing to live in my bubble of ignorance. this is my first ever smau so plz be nice - i also don’t have instagram or twitter so 🤷🏻♀️ doing my best with the format.
logansargeant
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 231,445 others
tagged: yourusername
logansargeant: honored to have been chosen to host this year's postseason dinner. can’t wait to welcome everyone to the farm!
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user1: HE’S GOT A GIRLFRIEND?!?
user2: HE LIVES ON A FARM?!
user1: ok but I can see the vision
oscarpiasti: it’s about time - I’ve been waiting to go back for months
logansargeant: like I’d invite you before I get my farm time in!
yourusername: don’t listen to him Oscar! You’re always welcome
oscarpiastri: you’re my favorite american
logansargeant: what?!
user3: oh i love her already
user4: what do you mean postseason dinner?!? EXPLAIN???
user5: if I find out this is an actual thing I’m gonna explode
user6: right?!? Just how long have these “dinners” been going on?
user7: brb just going to cry my eyes out
user8: why haven't we heard of this before
alexalbon: so when I have a pack of pets it’s weird but when you do it’s ok?
logansargeant: I live on a farm
alexalbon: so?
user9: I need photos stat. I need more evidence of past dinners
user10: right? Like you know these dinners be lit af
yourusername: I can’t wait either babe! But be warned - I’m putting you to work when you get home! 😘🩵
logansargeant: I’ve got my potato peeler locked and loaded ☺️
landonorris: you can cook? 🤨
logansargeant: unlike you? Yes
oscarpiastri: yeah he’s actually pretty good. but he had a great teacher
yourusername: awww thanks osc! 🧡
user11: oh my god. the emojis are gonna be the death of me
yourusername
liked by logansargeant, landonorris, estebanocon and 97,455 others
tagged: logansargeant, farmname
yourusername: the animals are primped, preened, and are ready to welcome the grid to dinner! They promise to be on their best behavior!🩵💙
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user12: omg they are so cute!!! Love them all!
user13: such photogenic pets 😍
maxverstappen1: I’m ready to meet them
logansargeant: they’re always ready to make new friends
yourusername: they do love to meet new people!!
charles_leclerc: how are they with new animals?
yourusername: they love them! All of our animals are extremely friendly
charles_leclerc: merveilleux!
oscarpiastri: is that scout and ranger in the second photo? they’ve gotten so big!
yourusername: it is! And time seems to fly with them in our lives now 😊
user14: oh are they new?
yourusername: they are! We’re a rescue farm and scout and her new puppy were surrendered to us when their family realized they couldn’t give them the care they needed. Ranger was just a newborn puppy — barely a week old
user14: omg that’s so sad and so cute 🥹
f1gossippage
liked by user1, user2 and 790,469 others
tagged: maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, danielricciardo, landonorris, pieregasly, sebastianvettel, lewishamilton
f1gossippage: It seems like the grid is on the move! Recently it has been revealed via an instagram post from logansargeant that the drivers attend a post-season dinner hosted by a fellow driver. This year it’s being held at farmname with logansargeant and apparent girlfriend yourusername hosting. And not only are current grid members invited — notably seen traveling to the United States are Arthur Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mleux as well as former driver Sebastian Vettel.
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user15: farm seb? Farm Seb? FARM SEB?!?
user16: we get more Sebastian content? Plz plz plz!! Post! More! Photos!
user17: I’m gonna cry if this is all we get. Please yourusername logansargeant post more photos when everyone arrives!
user18: the more I learn about this event the more fomo I get…
user19: user18 gets me. Cause what do you mean I’m not invited to this dinner…
user20: god what I would give to get a full list of everyone going?
user21: right? Like really?
user22: I’d bet money on jenson going! Like that’s his grid kid
logansargeant
liked by yourusername, sebastionvettel, estebanocon, and 590,278 others
tagged: yourusername
logansargeant: dinner prep starts early
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user23: god that looks so good 😋
yourusername: don’t forget about the grill babe!
logansargeant: like you’d ever let me hun
yourusername: 🤨?
logansargeant: I mean, yes dear. Whatever you say 🩵🩵
lilymunhe: you’ve got him well trained!
yourusername: right?
lilymunhe: teach me your ways!
alexalbon: what?
user24: im so jealous right? All of that looks so good and it’s just the prep?
user25: I need more photos of this dinner stat. Most of the gossip pages have the grid already at the farm! Who’s helping? Who’s banned?
yourusername: gonna be honest - most of the current grid is banned. I’ve seen the videos and have heard the stories. Not risking my le creuset
user25: oh god I feel that!
landonorris: hey! We’re not that bad!
charles_leclerc:…
carlossainz55:…
alexalbon:…
georgerussell63:…
landonorris: yeah ok that’s fair
yourusername
liked by landonorris, estebanocon and 890,455 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: oscarpiastri is giving a tour of the farm and its animals
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user26: I’ve never wanted to be an animal more in my life
user27: nurse she’s out again! (I completely agree)
oscarpiastri: ok but you’ve definitely downplayed how many animals you have
logansargeant: dear?
yourusername: 🥹
logansargeant: 🙄
oscarpiastri: 🙄
yourusername: 😊☺️
danielricciardo: what stallions you guys have!
yourusername: they are gentle queens 👑
yukitsunoda0511: I love them. Thank you for having them and letting us ride them!
yourusername: of course!
user28: ok but what is happening Alex and Lily in the fifth pic? Like what is Alex doing???
lilymunhe: his best…
alexalbon: hey!
user29: ok but i love how both Lando and George got cornered by some animals in the 4th and 6th pictures
landonorris: they followed me! Everywhere!
oscarpiastri: this just in! Goats scare lando!
landonorris: you muppet! They’re creepy…
yourusername: 🥹 they just like you lando!
landonorris: if they could like me from a distance I’d prefer that
logansargeant
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 778,445 others
tagged: yourusername
logansargeant: I’d classify dinner as a success! Big thanks to yourusername for everything you do and have done - I wouldn’t be where I am without you and can no longer imagine a life without you. It was a dream to host this dinner with you 🩵
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user30: im? crying?
user31: oh my god same. Like I didn’t expect to open instagram to see such loving words
yourusername: babe 🥹 … I love you so much and there is literally nowhere else I’d rather be then cooking dinner and washing dishes with you
logansargeant: even the most simple of chores sound like a dream if I can do them with you
user32: ok I’ve just been called single in about 12 different ways 😭
oscarpiastri: well I was gonna tease you a little but now…I had a great time on farmname with you guys. Thanks for the wonderful memories
logansargeant: you know you’re always welcome Oscar
yourusername: we’ll keep the lights on and your bedroom prepared
user33: brb just going to cry my eyes out
alexalbon: thank you yourusername and logansargeant - it was a fitting end to the season
yourusername: it was a pleasure to have you! You’re always welcome as well
alexalbon: will definitely take you up on that. Logan mentioned sheep cuddle parties and I need to experience that
logansargeant: it’s definitely something else!
user34: oh my god it looks so pretty! All those fairy lights…
user35: lights? I’m just focused on how much food is apparently there. That’s like 3 different tables…
yourusername: I wasn’t taking any chances. No one goes hungry at my table
charles_leclerc: we definitely didn’t! It really was very good!
maxverstappen1: definitely the best grid dinner I’ve been too!
landonorris: hey!
carlossainz55: mate…4 people got food poisoning last year
landonorris: who said it was cause of my dinner?
georgerussell63: We aren’t taking any chances and you’ve been officially banned from hosting any future dinners
yourusername: im sure it wasn’t that bad landonorris
landonorris: oh no it was. Best not let me host again
user36: who let you host in the first place?!?
georgerussell63: It’s a random draw chosen before summer break and it’s now GPDA policy that landonorris doesn’t have a chance again
lewishamilton: thank you for the invite and for the truly delicious vegan food
yourusername: it was an absolute pleasure! And im glad those dishes came out good 😌 first time cooking vegan so I wasn’t sure…
lewishamilton: really? I definitely couldn’t tell. They were spectacular
yourusername: make sure you take some home then!
#f1 smau#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargent x reader#logan sargent fluff#logan sargeant smau#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 smau#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 social media au#formula 1 fanfic#smau#logan sargeant#f1 instagram au#formula 1 instagram au
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im so scared im not going to pass my classes this semester
#its basically gonna have to be 24/7 homework lockdown for the next month if i want to do even okay in all of them#im really really sad because i had to cancel on my halloween plans so i can finish this overdue essay i need done by tonight#everyones out in costumes and having fun with their friends and im inside alone having a breakdown over school#this sucks ass#im glad i was able to go to a party this weekend and dress up but tbh the party was mid af#i also flaked on a house party i was supposed to go to last night because i was sick and my bfs were over#i feel like the different aspects of my life are getting so unbalanced and its scaring me and making me depressed#how am i supposed to balance 4 demanding classes & a fulfilling social life & 2 relationships all at the same time#not to mention sooner rather than later im going to have to worry about jobs and internships too#ive been a shitty friend to my besties recently bc i keep flaking on them & am broke all the time & am generally just a disorganized mess#i feel like they think im putting them on the backburner for my relationships. and i honestly think thats kind of true#i just need to find any kind of balance to my life because everything is out of whack and my life is falling apart#my executive functioning is so poor and im sick & in pain all the time and ive been in a depressive episode for the past month and a half#i have no idea how to exist as a functional adult in a body that is falling apart both physically and mentally#i cannot take even more time off of school & i want to graduate as soon as possible but after that im all on my own and then what#it all just leads to a dead end. theres nothing im working towards anymore and i have no motivation to do anything and im so stressed out#i just dont know how to fix this. i dont know how to dig myself out of this hole#vent
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flower
pairing: bf!Miguel O’Hara x f!reader
summary: You won’t let Miggy play.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, sad feelings, clothed sex, cum in pants (lmk if I forgot anything)
wc: 2.2k
a/n: Gwen is 21 just for drinking purposes— everyone say thank u to @naeverse for giving me an alternative to google translate for the spanish!! ily bby!! 🫶🏾
Miguel is like your best artwork, in your opinion. The way you took the hard seed he was and watered, loved, cared and nurtured him so he could bloom into the flower he was today is one of your greatest achievements.
When you met him he was cold, closed off, and angry. It took months of breaking down his wall before he could even admit his feelings for you, it took even more, to get him to express his feelings for you. It was like luring a stray cat, slowly getting him closer, and more comfortable with you before pushing your physical feelings onto him. You coaxed him out of his cave of isolation, of touch deprivation, and showed him how it felt to have someone love on him.
You were so proud when he started coming to you for simple little things, like a kiss or a hug. You’d be working and he’d stride in, tall and confident just to ask you, shyly, for a kiss. For a long time you explained to him that he didn’t always need to ask you, you were okay with him just coming in and kissing you. You also had to explain to him that he’s allowed to ask for more than a hug or kiss, he was very resistant on that matter but you managed to break him.
One day he woke up in the middle of the night, you were asleep next to him and he needed you. He laid there for an hour, debating on whether he should wake you up or not. When he did wake you up, you couldn’t have been prouder. You made sure to let him know that as you rode him.
At first, he wouldn’t even hold your hand or hug you in public. He got comfortable with PDA much quicker than the others, it only took him a few weeks. He plunged himself into it head first.
He went from barely touching you to being all over you. He started sitting you in his lap, resting his arms over your hips while standing behind you, or laying his head on your stomach whenever you guys were chilling in the lounge.
He even got into the habit of running his fingers over your tummy, going under your shirt or dissipating your suit just to feel you. Or he’ll just grope you through your suit, it doesn’t alway seem sexual for him… more like he enjoys the closeness, the intimacy of touching you, holding you in places no one else can. For example; your boobs, your ass, and his most recent, most consistent obsession… your pussy.. just cupping, your clothed pussy.
He says it’s calming for him, most of the time he does it absently. The goal isn't to make you cum, or prep your for his cock. He just loves touching you. It made you unbelievably happy to see him like that, your secretly sweet boy, loving all over you, not caring who’s around. It was one of the best things to ever happen to you.
Which is what makes this current conversation so awkward.
Hobie is rambling on and on about how disgusting PDA is. Miguel isn't around, thank god. He went to get a drink and never came back. Hobie has been ranting about how inconsiderate, and inappropriate PDA is as you awkwardly sip on your drink, feeling oddly targeted. Jess and Gwen agree with him, saying that it’s not that serious but definitely annoying. You’re just wishing for them all to just stop before Miguel returns, terrified that he’ll retreat back into his shell. That you’ll loose your sweet flower.
“ ‘M jus sayin’ it’s not like they can’t wait ‘til they get ‘ome. I jus feel like… come off it, y’know? Like you’re in public, right? Jus... keep it in your pants.” You down your drink and decide to finally butt into the conversation.
“Hobie. I love you but you’re the same guy who doesn’t believe in consistency.” You earn a little chuckle from the table. “Get in a loving, serious, consistent relationship, and tell me you’ll never want to be affectionate outside your house.” The words spit from your mouth with more venom than intended but you stand your ground.
“Aye, I guess. But like, some people don’t know when to dial it back.” He laughs with Gwen as you get up to leave. Jess is sending you an apologetic look that you smile at briefly before turning to walk away. You’re stopped by a.. wall?
You open your eyes to see what you ran into and see Miguel smiling down at you. “Where are you going?” You smile back at him, genuinely, and tell him a half-truth. “I was looking for you! Where have you been?”
Miguel looks a little drunk, his face flushed, and his eyes hazy. You guys have been drinking but it usually takes more. He shrugs and sits in your seat, patting his leg for you to sit in his lap.
You start toward him but then Hobie’s words play in your head and you shake your head softly at him. He looks confused but nods at you and falls into the conversation, now talking about the latest mission.
You’re standing there considering Hobie’s words. If you imagine how you and Miguel act from an outsider's perspective… you can see why they’d find it annoying. Anxiety curls and makes a home in your chest as you flip through all your favorite memories of you and Miguel, all of them now tainted. You head over to the bar silently, needing another drink when you feel someone behind you.
You feel pressure on the top of your head and know it's Miguel, placing a kiss on your head, another recent habit of his. You do nothing, ignore it as he wraps his arms around your waist and leans into you. “Oh, Peter B. says Hello. He was here earlier for a bit. That’s what took me so long. He made me drink with him too. Puede que haya bebido mucho.”
(“I may have had too much to drink”)
A smile makes its way onto your face as you listen to him, his accent thicker with his intoxication. He’s leaning on you, not for support but just to feel you against him. You guys stand there in comfortable silence until you feel Miguel’s hand begin to slide from your hip to your pelvis, it slides underneath the band of your skirt and you stop him. “Not now, Miggy. Sorry.” Your drink arrives, you pay, and leave. Miguel follows behind you, slightly deflated by your rejection. Your mind is still on Hobie’s words.
Are we “too much”? Do we take it “too far”..? Maybe we should just dial it back a little...
You guys arrive back at the table and Miguel tries again. His hands come to your waist and quickly slide down, trying to get under your skirt. You don’t say anything, you keep talking to Gwen as you pull his hand out.
The night goes well from that point. Miguel makes more advances that are gently rejected or avoided by you. You all gradually get drunk as the night goes on, Miguel drinks a bit more than he usually would and recluses himself to a table next to where you guys are sitting. Jess leaves first, Gwen and Hobie following her not too long after.
You and Miguel decide to leave and Uber home in silence. He usually talks more after hanging out in a group, saying everything he thought but couldn't say, giving his rating on the interaction, and more. This time, however, he’s silent, looking out his window with furrowed brows the whole ride. The silence only breaks once you both are in the apartment and you speak up.
“Why are you so quiet tonight?” You’re staring at his back as he stands in the living room. He doesn’t answer you at first, he just stands there before sighing and turning around.
“Why won’t you let me play with you?” His voice is weaker than you’ve ever heard it, his eyes look sad and desperate and his hands are wringing each other. You’ve never seen him like this, nervous and unsure. It breaks your heart.
You rush over to him and wrap him in a hug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you wanted to that bad, baby.” You let him go and kiss his cheek. “I—“ You sigh defeatedly. “Hobie got in my head about PDA. I don’t know why I listen to him.” Miguel lets out a sigh of relief at your words, some of the tension leaving his body.
“That idiot? Yeah, no. Don’t listen to him, amor.” You smile at him and he kisses you softly. When you pull away he still has that nervous look in his eyes. “Do you wanna play with me now?” you ask gently. He nods so timidly that you regret ever rejecting him. You kiss him with a smile as he walks you backward, only stopping once your back hits the wall.
His breath is already speeding up, his chest heaving as his hand slowly slides up your skirt. The moment his fingers come in contact with your clothed pussy he groans out, louder than you. You’re shocked by his reaction as he keeps rubbing your clit, gasping, and moaning with you as if he was touching himself.
His mouth is open as moans tumble through his lips. He’s not looking at you, just watching his fingers move on your pussy. His eyebrows draw more inward the faster he moves his fingers, his moans turning into whines the faster he goes.
At some point, his fingers roll over your clit more perfectly than you can handle and your hips buck into his hands. His knees almost buckle at the sight as he lets out a deep, rumbling groan.
“Santa mierda.” His eyes roll back as he feels your wetness soak through your panties and dampen his fingers. He’s desperately hard in his pants and his hips are thrusting up into the air in time with his movements over your pussy. “Echaba mucho de menos esto, cariño”
(“Holy shit.”)
( “I missed this so much honey”)
You giggle at his apology. He tends to do this a lot when you have him extra worked up. He always feels bad because he knows you can't understand him but the truth is that when he gets you like this… Whining, moaning, and pressing into him.
He cannot function.
He can’t think about anything but breeding you, getting his fat cock into your soft pussy, and painting your cervix. He’s not worried about what language it happens in. His brain can’t focus on things like that, he’s tried.
Your hips thrust up into his hand as you grip his biceps, your nails digging in painfully, making him moan even louder. His fingers move against you perfectly, the Spanish falling from his lips pulls you closer and closer to your orgasm. Your legs start to twitch and tense, your knees weakening as the burning in your stomach grows. Your hands come up around Miguel’s neck to pull him closer to you.
“You’re making me feel so good, Miggy. Fuck- I love you so much, baby.” He lifts you off your feet, pressing you up against the wall and lifting your legs over his waist. He takes a step forward and buries himself in your neck, his hips come forward, pressing his bulge against your mound with a groan. “Yeah, good. Good, Miggy- shi-it.” You feel his fangs slide out of his mouth and press into your skin as he whimpers. “Holy- Miguel, I- fuck, like that baby please.”
His whines turn to groans as he thrusts against you like he was actually fucking you. His hips swivel into yours, stuttering as he listens to your moans. “N-nena, estoy tan cerca. Maldita sea, te sientes tan jodidamente bien, mi amor. Siento que no puedo respirar. Mierda, te sientes increíble.”
(“B-baby, I'm so close. Damn, you feel so fucking good, my love. I feel like I can't breathe. Shit, you feel amazing.”)
You moan louder at his words, the way they roll off of his tongue. You can’t even describe how you feel when he speaks, especially in Spanish. It feels like his words vibrate through your ears, to your stomach, and settle in your core, winding you up as tightly as you can go. “Yeah? Oh, I’m gonna c-cum. Fuck- talk to me, Miggy. T-tell me how it feels, honey.”
Miguel can feel his eyes roll back into his head at your words. You know he can’t speak English right now, and he knows you love it anyway, the thought has him hurtling toward his orgasm. “Te sientes tan perfecta, nena. Voy a correrme tan fuerte por ti. ¿Lo quieres? ¿Quieres que te dé mi leche, miel? Te lo daré, todo por ti, nena. Mierda.”
(“You feel so perfect, baby. I'm gonna cum so hard for you. Do you want it? Do you want me to give you my milk honey? I'll give it to you, all for you, baby. Shit.")
Your legs crush his waist as you cum, trembling in his arms as his hips keep fucking against you, his moans growing in volume. You bring your hands up to dive into his hair, pulling at it, gripping it as he growls into your neck. He’s trying to hold off until you’re done, he wants to keep going, he wants to make you cum for so long that you can’t breathe but the way you’re grasping his brown locks makes it impossible. His muscles tense, his hands squeezing you into a bruising hold as his groans devolve back into whines, his body shaking as his cock explodes.
He cums so hard he thinks he blacks out for a moment. His cock pumps out rope after rope of his cum into his pants, he wishes it was inside you for a moment and he’s cumming harder at the thought. His hips continue to buck into you desperately as he moans out your name. You feel one of his hands leave your waist and rest on your cheek shakily, pushing your head in his direction and placing a kiss on your cheek. He grunts as he bucks against you one more time before putting you down.
You knees give out the moment you touch the ground and Miguel holds you up with a chuckle. “¿Qué? ¿No puedes soportarlo, cariño? ¿Tus piernas ya no funcionan?” He teases you as he carries you to the bedroom, your head rests on his chest, feeling the vibrations as he speaks.
(“What? You can't stand, honey? Your legs don't work anymore?”)
“You better hush up before I fuck you.” You spit back at him jokingly but you feel his pace falter at the threat.
“Uh, Qué... ¿Cuál es el dicho? Don’t threaten me with a good time?” He says in a teasing tone but his eyes are already clouding over again, desperate.
(“what... what's the saying?”)
thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!
#miguel o’hara smut#miguel smut#miguel x reader#miguel spiderman#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#miguel spiderverse#spiderman 2099#miguel ohara#miguel x you#miguel o'hara imagine#miguel ohara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara spider man#spiderman 2099 x reader#spiderman 2099 miguel o'hara#2099#sm 2099#miguel 2099#marvel 2099#miguel o hara#astv miguel#miguel atsv#luvrxfics#luvrxsmut
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LNDS: Heartstring Healer Continued | 18+ NSFW
Aight homies, since the devs wanna dehydrate us with the lack of Zayne content, imma have to make sure we're watered. This is a continuation of his newest card "Heartstring Healer". I recommend listening to the card before reading this. You can find them on youtube I swear this community be pullin through for the people who can't ever get cards or afford stuff.
Also I wrote this in like two hours and kinda went over it, but it is what it is, Sorry if it goes to past and present tense. I tried fixing it but your home boy be tired af.
Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.
Warnings: Oral Sex (Giving), Slight Exhibitionism, Teasing, Medical Roleplay, Penis in Vagina Sex, Almost Caught, Unsafe Sex, Creampie, Multiple Orgasms, Fingering
Synopsis: You visit Doctor Zayne during one of his trips and find out that he has quiet a bit of fans. When you finally corner him, you decide to prescribe a treatment plan to help you both with your jealousy.
Word Count: 5,149
Blog Information | Masterlist
Zayne
Heartstring Healer Continuation
The hallways were livelier than you expected after Doctor Zayne's lecture. You had seen the crowd of students that tried gathering around your doctor, wanting even an ounce of his attention. Some holding gifts, others trying to invite him to some of the other events.
In all honesty, you were a little annoyed. You knew they had no way of knowing that Zayne was taken since he didn't exactly wear a ring, but you couldn't help it. Knowing they were all fawning over what was yours had you feeling some sort of way. Your desk mate had been a big help in distracting you from the conversation behind you during the entire lecture. It was a group of girls just swooning over your boyfriend and you had to hold yourself back from saying something.
You heard your phone ringing a few times before it went to Zayne's voicemail. You frowned at seeing this, knowing damn well he had seen you in the lecture hall. Where could he have gone? You could ask around to find out where his current office was, but you would rather he just meet you and take you there himself. Sure he was hiding from his admirers, but it wouldn't kill him to answer your phone call.
You grumbled to yourself as you pocketed your phone, intent on just going back to your hotel and getting some much needed rest. You had impulsively come all the way here, knowing he was busy, but you still felt disappointed he couldn't spare you even a moment of his time.
You saw the girls from the lecture hall, one holding a small cake in her hands. They were discussing where Zayne's temporary office was and about how they wanted to invite him to a dance.
'Good luck, even I have trouble getting him to go to public events that involve dancing.' You couldn't help but think to yourself with a sad smile. Then you felt something, a small tug on your wrist.
Before you knew it, you were being pulled into a dark room by a strong hand. You spun around, about to yell at whoever decided this was a good idea when you bumped into the chest of none other than Doctor Zayne. His hand snaked around your waist and dragged you closer to his chest.
"Shhhh." He whispered, leaning closer to your ear. You heared footsteps right outside the door and then the giggling of those two girls from earlier come to light. There was a knock on the door as the girls began talking about the cake and dance once again.
You couldn't help but glare at the door, remembering everything they had said about Zayne earlier. Sure he was hot and granted, you talked to Tara about his amazing physic and looks all the time, but hearing strangers talking about his build and how hot he was had rubbed you wrong.
Then you recalled how Zayne had barely replied to your texts and how most of your calls went to voicemail when you attempted. The small, petty part of you bubbled up as you got on your toes to whisper in his ear.
"Perhaps you should let them in, Doctor Zayne. They seemed really eager to...get to know you during the lecture." You said, accentuating your words to let him know exactly what they wanted to know about him.
Zayne gave your waist a squeeze of assurance, grabbing your chin with his free hand so you were forced to look at his eyes, "Someone is already here. First come, first served." His voice was a bit huskier than you thought as he whispered those words to you.
You flushed at the thoughts running through your head. You could barely make out the girls giving up and leaving. The moment they were gone, Zayne seemed to sag in relief. He let go of you and backed away.
"You sure that was fine. She had made you a homemade cake and everything." You commented and Zayne huffed.
"I don't recall them ever mention making it themselves." He commented.
"Still, you sure do have a lot of people wanting to be your patient. Must be hard being this popular."
"One impulsive patient gives me more headaches than the other patients combined." He said, looking pointedly at you. You put your hands up in defense and giggled a bit.
"When have I ever been impulsive...other than right now?" The look he gave you said it all. You looked away from him, knowing damn well he could make an entire list just from the past three months of every impulsive decision you made.
You decided the best way to get him off your back was to change the topic. You looked around the office that was being lit up by the sun. It was a nicely set up room and you could see him getting used to the more cozy vibes of the place.
"No wonder you wanted to stay here for half a month, this place is pretty nice." You said as you began looking through the papers on his desk, grabbing one of them to pretend to read.
Zayne walked up behind you, snatching the paper from your hands and looking over what had stolen your attention, "I had wanted to leave early, but I suppose I don't need to now."
"Oh, why is that? Are you being spoiled by all the events here? I heard there's a dance going on tonight. I bet you're dying to go. You also have the pick of the litter when it comes to cute girls to go with you, if the lecture hall was anything to go off of." Ah, your jealousy had reared its ugly head again.
"I think someone else is spoiled. Someone barely sat down before getting hit on by a young man." He pointed out and you couldn't help but smile. At least you weren't alone in your jealousy.
You pulled the papers down and looked up at him from behind them, "Well I did miss part of the lecture with how much those girls were talking about you. Perhaps I should find that cute boy and ask him for his notes..."
Zayne pulled the paper back and you hum, "Are you...upset?" You finally asked with a sly smile.
"Should I be?"
"Probably not, but who am I to control your emotions?" You said, still grinning from ear to ear.
You heard Zayne sigh as he finally placed the papers down. His hands went back to your waist, pulling you closer to him again. You basked in his warmth, and how his large hand felt on the small of your back. You looked up at him, waiting patiently for him to speak.
"Are you actually here because you're interested in medical knowledge?" He knew damn well you weren't.
"Actually I'm here for a check up with my doctor." You coyly said, squeezing your hands around the lapels of his lab coat that hung open.
"There are a lot of hospitals in Linkon. To go out of your way to see me, you must have put in a lot of time and effort." He said as one of his hands went to cup your own, giving it a small squeeze in response.
"Well that's because you're the cause and cure for my ailments."
Zayne actually let out a small huff of amusement, "Please do enlighten me as to how I'm the cause and cure?"
"Well first my heart hurt when you weren't with me over in Linkon, and it felt strange when you didn't answer my calls or took too long to reply to my messages." You said, using the hand that wasn't trapped in his and playing with the fabric it was grasping.
"Then earlier when those girls were talking about you, I felt all yucky inside." You admitted as you leaned your body into him. You felt him sigh into your touch as you rested your head on his chest.
"Then how can I be of assistance to you and your ailments?" He whispered, squeezing your hand and rocking a bit in place with you in his arms.
"Have you had similar symptoms, Doctor Zayne?" You said, your voice coming out softly as you enjoyed this moment.
"Yes, I have. It's been rather inconvenient. I almost flew back to Linkon early to find the cause of my problems." He said and you chuckled.
"Well since I'm here now, how about I give you a small check up and make sure you're doing better now that I'm here." You suggested, parting from him for a moment.
You watched him raise an eyebrow and smirk a bit before speaking, "And how do you intend to do that?"
It wasn't hard to figure it out for you. You playfully nudge him until he fell on the desk. You fell with him, still being in close proximity. Your hands rested on his chest and it was your turn to smirk down at him. Zayne opened his legs just a bit so you could comfortably slot yourself between them.
You go and take the stethoscope from around his neck and put it around your own, "We'll have to start with checking your heart." You comment, placing the ear pieces in and placing the metal bit over Zayne's chest.
"And what do you hear?" He asked and you let out a small hum. You didn't actually know how to do this, but you did know that the sound was too faint for you to get a proper read.
"Your shirt is too thick, you'll need to remove it for me to properly hear you." You deduce, going to undo the neck straps of his shirt. Your hands slowly worked on the buttons; by the time you were working on the button near his stomach, his hand came to capture your own.
"Might I ask what game you're playing at?" He asked, knowing you were up to no good at this point. You bit your lip and shuffled a bit, unintentionally grinding your body against Zayne.
"I assure you, sir, this is all part of the check up." You lied and he sighed, letting go of your hand. You could see his gaze going over towards the door and you shook your head.
"The lights are off, so as long as we're not too loud, nobody will even know we're inside." You promised him. Zayne just sighed at your antics and went back to relaxing on his forearms as you worked his shirt off.
Once the shirt was unbuttoned, you slid it off his form and watched the fabric pool around his elbows. He was always breathtaking, but sometimes you forget just how well built he was. He did put a lot of effort into his personal health, fitness included.
Your hands twitched, wanting to just glide them across the expanse of his chest, but you just grabbed the metal piece of the stethoscope and put it back on him. You could hear the thrumming of his heart a lot better like this.
"Your heartrate is a bit faster than normal." You commented, running the cool metal over his chest, making sure it gently grazed one of his nipples. He grunted a bit as he shifted underneath you.
"Certain activities or scenarios can accelerate one's heartrate, as I'm sure you know, doctor." He pointed out, making you smirk in response.
"Is that so? Perhaps we should double check that it's the scenario that's making your heart accelerate, and not other factors." You said, one hand still pressing the metal bit on him while the other slowly trailed down him chest.
Your hands gently grazed the fine hairs leading down into his pants. You wanted desperately to lean down and bite the skin near his Adonis belt but managed to reel yourself in. Instead your hand grazed the front of his pants. You felt his cock twitch underneath your touch and his heart began beating faster.
"Well, it looks like your theory was correct. This scenario is making your heart act up. I wonder why that is...?" You said, squeezing him through his pants. Zayne's breath hitched as he rolled his hips into your touch.
"And what would you prescribe for a treatment plan, doctor?" He said, enjoying the way your hand slowly teased him.
"I think you might be stressed from your trip. Perhaps I can provide a bit of relief for you." You prescribed. You met his gaze for a moment and could see just how dark his eyes had gotten, his breathing coming out in soft pants from this little stimulus. You guessed he really did miss you if he was already falling apart in your hands.
You slowly sink to your knees, nudging his legs to open a bit more. Your hand trailing over the zipper of his pants as you then got the idea to reach up. Your mouth caught the cold metal and slowly slid it down before going to push his pants down.
You noticed his gaze went back to the door again, and you couldn't help but pinch at his thighs, "It's fine, nobody is going to just barge into a doctor's office."
You finally managed to get his cock free, noticing how it was already dripping precum. You let out a small groan at the sight, licking your lips before leaning in and kissing the base, your hand wrapping around it and giving it a few short tugs.
Zayne's hands clutched at the end of the desk and you swore if he wasn't careful, the wood might splinter under his grasp. Still, seeing his flushed face and open mouth was doing things to you. You felt like you were already dripping from the sight of the man.
You licked the tip of his cock, groaning at the taste of his salty precum. The taste of him was never bad, and it was uniquely Zayne and you could never get enough of it. This sight, the sounds he was making, it was for your eyes and ears only and the thought had you almost creaming your pants.
You finally open your mouth, taking his cock in and feeling the heavy weight of it against your tongue. You groaned at the sensation, slowly bobbing your head on him. Your hand wrapped around what you couldn't fit into your mouth, making sure all of him was feeling you in some way.
Your tongue glided, pressing against the veins on the underside of his dick as you worked him. He was panting from your mouth, his hand going to push your hair out of your face so he could get a better look at you. You looked up at him, mouth full of his length and you moaned at the half lidded expression he was giving you.
Zayne had bit down on his lip to keep his voice down, but seeing you bobbing on his cock was testing his restraint. He wanted to buck his hips into your mouth, watch you choke on his cock as your eyes teared up from trying to take all of him. He held back though, not knowing what you wanted in today's little tryst.
His cock began twitching in your mouth, signaling he was close to spilling down your throat. Suddenly you two heard footsteps approaching the door and you paused, mouth still on him as you listened to what was going on.
There was another knock on the door, followed by voices, "I double checked, this is his office." One of the girl's voices filtered through the door.
"Do you think he already left for the day?" The other girl said and you glared in the direction of the voices. You slowly slid your tongue around his sensitive length, enjoying how he seemed to jolt at feeling you moving on him again.
"Maybe we can just leave the cake inside?" Zayne's grip on your hair tightened at that. You just glared up at him now, relaxing your throat as you slid him deeper in your throat. Let them come in. Let them see that you, and only you could make the Doctor Zayne act like this in a public space.
Zayne had to bite back a groan as you continued trying to get him to cum while those girls debating walking in. He was glaring at you then nervously glancing up at the door.
"We can't just go into his office though, he might have sensitive documents in there. We could get in trouble." The second girl finally said, and you heard the other sigh.
"You're right...I'll just try again tomorrow." The first girl said.
Good luck, if you had any say about it, Zayne would be spending the day in your bed, making you see stars all day.
You heard them leaving the door before you finally popped your mouth off his cock, using your spit as lube as you continued stroking him. A bit of his precum snapping away from your lips as you looked up at Zayne.
"That wasn't funny." Zayne finally said, but the flush on his cheeks and chest were saying something else. Not to mention how his cock was still twitching in your hands.
"Perhaps we should continue this when we have a bit more privacy, like at the hotel." He said, cupping your hand and taking it off him. You let out a pitiful whine as you pouted.
You stood up and caged him in with your arms. You happily leaned into him, capturing his mouth with your own and nibbling on his lower lip. He easily opened up for you, and your hand went to cup his cheek as you deepen the kiss, loving the way he tasted against your tongue.
He groaned into your mouth, making your thighs squeeze together. You could feel just how wet you were by standing in front of him, and you wanted to make it known.
"We can just lock the door, but Zayne I won't be able to make it back to the hotel like this." You said against his mouth, giving his jaw and neck a few kisses. You undo your pants, unzipping it and pushing it down slightly then you grabbed his hand.
You move it over your underwear and groan when his fingers pressed against your clothed folds, "See, I'm soaking already just from having your cock in my mouth. Please, Zayne?" You begged, wanting him to ruin you in this office.
Zayne pressed harder against your cunt, making your hips roll against his hand, "Fine, lock the door. We need to remain quiet though." He still had his reputation and he couldn't go tarnishing it, no matter how tempting you were.
You smiled and parted from him, fast walking to the door and locking it up. You backed away from the door, only to be met with a solid chest. You looked up, seeing Zayne had already moved behind you. His large hands moving under your shirt and squeezing your hips, pulling you flush to his pelvis where you could feel his cock against your back.
Zayne began to slowly take off your shirt, tossing it to the side and unhooking your bra without hesitation. He went to cup one of your breasts, squeezing it and making you groan, pressing further into him so you could feel his cock rutting against you.
"Fuck, Zayne please." You pleaded, looking up at him with want. He cursed under his breath, pulling apart just enough to spin you around. Effortlessly, he picked you up and began making his way over to the desk. He scattered the rest of the papers to the floor and placed you on top.
"You're going to be the death of me." He murmured against your neck, leaving soft kisses all over as his hands begin working on pulling your pants and underwear down. You helped him by raising your hips until he could toss them to the ground with your growing pile of clothes. He placed your underwear next to you on the desk, probably intent on pocketing them after this.
Zayne spread your legs open some more so he could run a finger along your slick pussy. You sighed in relief at feeling his finger pressing into your heat without any hesitation. You were already so wet he easily slid a second, his thumb going to glide against your clit.
"Zayne, please I want to feel you inside me already." You whisper-whined into his ear. He smirked, looking up at you as his fingers curled inside of you, making you gasp and roll your hips into his waiting hand.
"Am I not already inside you?" He teased, pressing down on your clit for a moment to accentuate his point before rolling it in circles.
"You know what I mean." You whined again and he tsked.
"You'll have to be more specific, love. What do you want inside this tight cunt of yours?" He asked and you clenched around his digits at those words. Your legs were already shaking as you felt your orgasm building up.
"I want your cock inside of me, Zayne." You whimpered, feeling how he was slowly stretching you out with his fingers. A third was prodding at your entrance and you opened your legs a bit more for him.
You heard Zayne shushing you as he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, "I'll give it to you once you cum on my fingers. Can you do that, love? I don't want to hurt you." He said, knowing just how big his cock was.
You groaned at the thought, knowing you were teetering towards the edge. Feeling his mouth pressing gentle kisses along your jaw and nipping at your earlobe was what did you in. You gasped and immediately his mouth was on yours, swallowing all your cries. Your orgasm crashing down on you as you tightened around his fingers, sucking them in.
Your hands finding his biceps, nails digging in as you fought to keep your noises to a minimum as your hips rolled in time with him. Once you were coming down you were panting against his mouth, feeling breathless.
You felt his fingers leave your cunt and you whined at the loss. You watched as he moved his fingers over to his mouth, licking your essence off of them. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment before turning back to you sharply.
"I'll have to properly taste you later tonight, but for now I need to be inside you." Zayne said, squeezing your thighs as he begins lining himself up with you.
You still felt sensitive, so the moment the tip of his cock was pressing into you, your head was thrown back. You couldn't help the mewl leaving you as he began sinking into you, inch by inch. He was always huge and felt like he was splitting you in two anytime you fucked.
Your nails grazed his biceps again, grounding yourself as he continued slipping in until he was a little past halfway inside of you. He stopped, going to press his forehead against your own. Your breaths mingling with one another as you gazed up at him through half lidded eyes.
"Zayne, please fuck me with your whole cock, please." You begged, rolling your hips in an attempt to take more of him inside of you. His hold went to your hips, keeping you still as he looked at you, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"If I do, will you be able to walk out of here when we're done?" He asked and you huffed, trying to rock your hips into him again. He wasn't letting up though, waiting for your answer.
You finally whine, "I promise, just please Zayne, I need you." You were begging. This seemed to be enough of an answer with his self control slipping by the second.
He began pushing his cock back into you until you were flush to his pelvis. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you felt like you could cum just by having him seated inside of you. His cock pressed against every sensitive spot inside of you and it always drove you crazy.
You swore you'd be split in two though, but at the moment you didn't care. You slowly looked down at Zayne who was panting with his eyes closed, stopping himself from fucking into you like an animal. You didn't even realize tears had formed in your eyes until he looked at you and leaned in, kissing them away.
His hands rubbed at your hips gently as you adjusted until he snuck one over and pressed down on your clit. He rolled it in gentle circles and you gasped, feeling your second orgasm crashing over you suddenly. Your eyes widening and you opened your mouth in a silent scream.
He then decided to give an experimental thrust, making you gasp. Your entire body felt like a live wire as your legs locked around his torso, holding him in place as he bucked into your heat again.
"You need to be quiet, remember?" He reminded you, his hips finally starting a steady rhythm of fucking up into you. Despite his warnings, you couldn't help the whimpers coming out of you, feeling his girth every time he thrusted back into you.
You heard Zayne sigh as he looked at you, giving you a small smirk. You looked on, dazed and a bit confused as to why he had that look on his face. That was until you felt the press of fabric against your lips.
"Open up, if you can't remain quiet I have no choice but to gag you." He said and you groaned, opening your mouth and taking your underwear into your mouth. He pressed it down into your mouth, making you mewl around the fabric. You could taste yourself on it and it made your body heat up.
"Tap my arm twice if it becomes too much, alright?" All you could do was nod in confirmation before he began a harder and faster pace. Your eyes widened, your nails digging into his skin.
He leaned his forehead against your own as he fucked you, the intimacy only making your head buzz wonderfully. Your legs shook around his body and your pussy was sucking him in, tightening on occasion whenever you heard him grunt or praise you.
You swore if you died by his dick, you'd be welcomed into Valhalla as a hero. It was everything you could ever hope for, and knowing when he fucked you it was full of emotion made it even better. You felt so in love as your body began tingling, your third orgasm approaching already.
Your cunt fluttered around his dock, making him grunt as it made it almost impossible for him to move, "If you keep that up, I won't last much longer." He said, thrusting shallowly into you until he could move freely again. You groaned behind the fabric, your head rolling back as the tension in your abdomen finally snapped.
"That's it, cum for me, love." He said, fucking you through your orgasm. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes from the stimulation, your body feeling light and your vision almost going white from the intensity. Every thrust of his hips grazing your clit and prolonging your pleasure until it was getting to be too much.
You heard Zayne groaning against your neck, his hand reaching up and taking our your gag. "Where do you want me to - fuck - where can I cum, bunny?" He asked and you flushed.
Your tongue felt heavy in your own mouth as you tried to coherently speak. All you managed was a small "Inside", but it was enough for him.
You heard him hiss against your ear, his thrusts becoming shallow again. Then you felt his cock twitching, and the warmth of his release filling you up. It was all too much as you whimpered against him, arms going around his shoulders and squeezing him closer until you could burry your face into his neck.
He moved your face so he could kiss you, it was sloppy but it was just what you needed as you swallowed every needy groan from him as he finished, his hips rolling languidly against you until finally stopping.
It was silent in the room, the sound of skin-on-skin slapping finally stopping. You two basked in the afterglow for a moment; you stared at the ceiling and trying to come back to reality. You truly felt boneless right now, and maybe even a bit brainless.
You whimpered as Zayne finally begins pulling out of you, the wet squelching noise making you flush in embarrassment. You looked between your legs and watched as your combined release slowly leaked out onto the desk.
"I'll need to find something to clean us up with." He finally murmured and you let out a hum. Honestly you just wanted to lay in his arms, the thought of after care not even crossing your mind in the moment.
Your legs were shaking still and you felt something brushing up against your folds. You looked down to see him with some tissue, wiping away what he could.
"I promise once we get back to the hotel I'll run us a nice, warm bath." He promised, leaning over and kissing your forehead, "Bear with this for just a little."
You smiled, grabbing his by the back of his neck and guiding him to give you a proper kiss, melting against his lips once again. Once you part you couldn't help but mutter a small "Thank you." to him.
He paused as he admired you, his eyes filled with love and you felt almost sheepish under such an intense gaze, "Will you be able to walk?" He asked finally.
You take a moment, shifting your legs and wincing at the soreness. You'd probably be able to walk out of here, but not without a limp, "I think I'll be fine." You finally muttered.
Zayne let out a small, amused huff as his large hands began massaging your inner thighs, "If need be, I can carry you out of here. We can say you slipped." The thought was funny to you, making you snicker. As if a place filled with doctors and medical supplies would buy that story.
You leaned in and kissed his cheek, "So did my treatment plan work for you?" You finally asked.
Zayne took a moment before smirking, "I think I might need another dose when we get back to the hotel...if you're up for it."
Despite the soreness from between your legs, you felt yourself clenching at the thought, "Ya, I think a second treatment might be necessary."
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