#i just needed mary to kill some vampires and drive the car

[bibliophileiz]

MARY'S FINALLY DRIVING THE CAAAAAARRRRR!!!!

[newtonsheffield]

Molly! Can we see Anthony snapping and growling at his brothers as a vampire? Do his family tease him for Kate? How does Kate respond?

Lots of looveeeeee for you and greggy

Legit having a nightmare work day. Can you write some vampire kanthony pleaseeeeeeeeee. Need something to ease the pain of capitalist existence

Ugh I had this entire thing written, and then the tumblr app crashed and I lost the entire thing. So let's go for round two.

Anthony could quite honestly say he didn't care for 90% of the emotions that had started flaring up inside him since he'd run into Kate Sharma in an alley, defending herself from three men. But by far his least favourite: Was nervousness.

He had good reason to be nervous, he thought. He was, after all, driving his very fragile, human mate to a house filled to the brim with blood drinkers with very little reason to believe he'd expect a good reception, but his mother had understood. Surely the rest of them could.

It had been so long, nearly 150 years since Anthony had become who he thought he was. Since Kate's kind had hunted his father until he'd lost his life screaming tied to a stake with fire all around him. And they all remembered it, Anthony most of all. For so long after he'd taken from humans, using them for his needs with no regret. But he hadn't even known Kate for a month before he'd recognised her for what she was: The soul that was meant for him. Just as he was meant to be hers. Wholly and completely.

He could still taste her on his tongue, a tiny memory of Kate just 5 years old, begging her Papa for a puppy still replaying in his mind. I'll get you a dog. I'll do that for you.

"You don't have to do this, you know. We could go back to yours and-"

Kate gasped in faux surprise, tugging their intertwined fingers further into her lap. "Trying to get me into bed is a little shameless as far as distractions go, don't you think?"

Anthony twitched at the thought of how She'd cradled him between her hips just an hour ago, her fingernails digging into his back as he'd moved against her. "Well, would that be the worst thing?"

Kate leaned across the centre console her lips brushing the corner of his. "You met my Mum."

Anthony flushed at the memory of how Kate had had to hold him upright as his heart had pounded in his chest and he'd been sure he was about to die when her mother had asked for compensation. Even as Kate's laughter had tinkled his ears She's joking, Babe. Mary knows that ship sailed a little while ago.

"Yes, and I thought I was dying."

Kate rolled her eyes, "And now you're best friends with my sister, and Mary wants you to join her book club."

Something a little proud burned in his chest eve as he shook his head, "Well it's a little more dangerous for you than it is for me."

He could hear her heart racing faster, her fingers tightened on his. "Your family won't hurt me."

Anthony's teeth shut with an audible snap. " I would kill anyone who tried."

She rolled her eyes, "Well, you won't have to." She jumped out of the car as soon as he'd stopped it, her hand held out for him, and even then something purred in his chest. For the fact she loved him too, eagerly shared herself with him, with the faint mark on her neck that his teeth had left there: A sigh that they belonged together.

"Come on, Killer." He muttered, his stomach churning nervously as he listened, pushing the front door open. Colin and Benedict were close by, Daphne as well, the others out and about, and his mother was alone. "This way."

His mother was perched on the sofa, a book held in her hands her hands flipping the pages far father than any human would be able to. Her eyes snapped up from the pages when she caught Kate's scent her eyes widening in surprise, lips parted.

"Mum, this is who I was telling you about. This is Kate. My Mate."

His mother darted forward far quicker than human eyes could catch if Kate's gasp at his mother's appearance just inches from her was anything to go by, but she stayed put. Her fingers intertwined with his at her waist.

"Kate! It's so lovely to meet you! Anthonys been hiding you away from me."

Kate's heart was thundering, they could both hear it but she took his Mother's hand gently. "It's lovely to meet you. And he's sweet isn't he? Even if he is like a grumpy bear."

His mother laughed, eyes shining, and whatever she was about to say was cut off the next second.

"Did you bring a snack for us home with you Anthony?" Colin's voice lilted down the stairs, appearing int he doorway seconds later. And Anthony surprised himself with his reaction.

He leapt forward, placing himself defensively in front of Kate, his protective instincts flaring viciously, a growl rising in his chest. "Colin, get the fuck away from her!"

"Colin." His mother's voice warned, "Don't push him."

"Someone's testy today." Benedict had appeared now, Sophie staring brow furrowed behind him, trying to piece together his odd reaction.

A furious growl ripped through Anthony's chest, his vision tinged with red as his teeth snapped together.

"There's a human here." Daphne had dropped from the tree outside, sliding through the window with Simon following dutifully.

"Get away from her." Anthony roared, panic flaring in his chest as his siblings sniffed the air. "Don't touch her!"

"Enough!" His mother's voice snapped through the air, "This is Kate. She's-"

"You mated her." Sophie's said gently ignoring the stunned silence, as she stepped around Benedict, smiling softly. "I'm Sophie, Kate. I'm Benedict's mate."

Anthony growled, tucking Kate closer to his chest as Sophie moved closer.

"I'm not going to hurt her, Anthony, none of us will. She's your mate."

"Anthony, It's okay." Kate took his hand gently, tugging it to rest on her chest, tucking his face against her neck, letting him breathe her in gently, his pulse slowly returning to normal.

"It's lovely to meet all of you." Kate said gently, "You all know him, I don't need to apologise for him right?"

Benedict chuckled as he stepped forward, slinging his arm around Sophie's shoulder. "You're a funny little thing."

"I'm sorry to say, Only Anthony's allowed to snack on me." Kate quipped, poking him in the ribs.

Daphne moved a little closer, ignoring Anthony's warning growl her curious sniff turning disgusted almost immediately. "No offence Kate, but I don't think any of us would want to. Jesus Anthony, is there anywhere you didn't scent her."

Something smug settled in his chest again, purring gently, his arms still wrapped around Kate.

"Do I smell odd?" Kate asked a little bemusedly.

"You smell exactly as you should." He snapped at his siblings.

"It's a little overpowering, darling." His mother hummed, still taking Kate in, mouthing quicker than Kate would be able to catch. Sweetheart she's so beautiful! she's Perfect!

Kate tutted, teasing him as she left a kiss on his chin, "You are the stupidest man I've ever met. We're married in the eyes of your kind, Did you think I'd run off with one of them?"

"Well, you haven't met Greg yet. He's very Charming." Anthony mumbled, and as the room burst into laughter, he knew more than ever that this was right.

[ttuesday]

Alright, what Video games would the modern VDL gang have as their favorites?

ah hello my dear anon, I see you're back again *gives you a slice of bread* welcome

Arthur

Arthur likes video games that have a good storyline. He needs something he can sink his teeth into and get emotionally invested in.

He wasn’t sure whether he was going to like Telltale’s The Walking Dead game at first but after playing for a few hours he was absolutely obsessed with it

The game makes him cry a lot especially the ending of season 1

Dutch

Dutch is a simple man, if he sees a survival game that has a tall, dominating vampire lady in it then he needs to play it.

He hasn’t played any of the other Resident Evil games but he knew he just had to play RE Village.

After finishing the game, he bought himself some circular sunglasses cause he wants to look like Heisenberg.

Charles

Charles plays video games to relax and get away from the stress of life with the gang.

He has always wanted to play the guitar but he’s never had the time to learn the instrument. But that’s what makes the absolute classic game Guitar Hero so good.

Charles becomes a pro at Guitar Hero, buying all the different guitar variations and the drums set you can get for it too.

Hosea

There’s no point trying to build anticipation for what game Hosea loves the most, it’s Candy Crush

Karen

At first, Karen loved GTA V for it’s great story and amazing characters but then she found out it has an online mode.

There’s no easy way to say this but Karen’s that player that will chase you around the map and kill you for literally no reason.

She loves it when people get really angry after she kills them, it’s something she likes to laugh about later.

John

John plays a lot of those racing games like Forza Horizon.

He likes them cause he doesn’t have to pay too much attention to what’s happening, all he has to do is drive the car.

Karen tried to get him to do a race in gta online but she kept crashing into him. After that John swore never to play gta online again.

Sean

Sean’s the kinda guy to play the same video game for MONTHS to the point where people wonder if he‘ll ever play another game or just this one forever.

Man loves Skate 3, he could play it all goddamn day and not get bored

Seriously, the amount of joy he gets out of this game is actually kinda adorable

Javier

Javier is that guy that has an entire city built in Minecraft.

He’s an expert at the game, even on hardcore mode!!!!

He also co-owns a very successful survival server with Lenny, though Javier does most of the work on it.

Pearson

there is only one right answer to this and that’s Cooking Mama

Mary-Beth

we all know Mary-Beth is an Animal Crossing fan

she even has a plush of Tom Nook 

Bill

Bill has played The Last of Us too many times to count. 

Now whenever he gets drunk he just rambles about how amazing the game is, how he loves Joel with all his heart and about how cool the different types of zombies are

...he hasn’t played the second game yet

Kieran

Are you ready to get mad? No? Ok, quickly prepare yourself to get mad. Kieran’s favourite video game is... Fortnite. HA

For his birthday, everyone buys him Fortnite lunchboxes and pencil cases lol

Lenny 

Lenny adores the Assassin’s Creed franchise, he can be a real history nerd sometimes so he loves finding all the little historical details.

But please don’t ask him what his favourite Assassin’s Creed game is. Arthur asked him once and Lenny made diagrams and charts to map out the pros and cons of each game and he still hasn’t picked which one is his favourite.

Abigail 

Her and Jack like to take turns playing Subway Surfers.

It’s what she plays whenever she gets some time to herself.

Molly

Molly loves singing as loud as she can on Singstar

She also got the dlc for it so she can sing while Charles plays guitar

Susan

Tetris... yup...

Micah 

Micah is the biggest Call of Duty fan out there.

He’s played the campaign of every game and he’s a pro at online.

And yes, he’s that guy that will sneak up and knife you in online instead of just shooting you.

Tilly 

Tilly could make a 2 hour presentation on why she loves Detroit: Become Human so much 

She makes everyone play the first mission and then judges everyone based on the choices they make

The game also makes her become very aware of the little choices she makes in everyday life

Trelawny

Trelawny thinks sending people emojis is a game

No one has told him that emojis aren’t a game because of how much fun he has with it

He sends people the most bizarre emojis all the time now 

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Dead Man’s Blood

Welcome to “Machete Size Apparently Matters: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s1e20: Dead Man’s Blood

 An old hunter is attacked and killed by a group of vampires. When Sam and Dean go to investigate, they run into John, who shares that the vamps stole an old Colt from the hunter that can kill “anything.” The boys and John team up (not without some serious friction) to try to clear out the vamp nest and steal the gun. John thinks the Colt is finally the answer to how to kill the demon who killed Mary. Bring a machete because there’s lots of fraught to hack through in this one. Plus, it’s handy for beheading vampires.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here.  Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

 Lor:

��grrrrrr

 Mace:

 ugh, I have an actual, visceral reaction when Sam calls him Sir.

 Lor:

 RIGHT?

Mace:

 How fun would it have been to be in the prop dept and help make those hunting journals?!

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 If we ever cosplay the boys together, we NEED to make one

 Lor:

 OMG

that would be SO COOL

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 Dean and his newspaper

 Mace:

 YES

 "boys, we're eating in tonight" if any vampire actually said that, the others would sooo make fun of them, honestly

 Lor:

hahahaha right?

 Mace:

 Aw, Dean wants Sammy to have a girlfriend

 Lor:

 yeah

 "or oops I spilled the popcorn salt"

 Mace:

 HA!

...

now I want popcorn

 Lor:

 LOLOLOLOL

YEP

 do they keep Elkins's journal? I don't think anyone ever mentions it again, but jeez, take that with you

 Mace:

 Oooh, excellent question! I don't know. Maybe there's a CODE and you don't touch another man's journal unless he says it's okay...

 Lor:

 oooo maybe

 Mace:

 SMARTY DEAN MAKING A SQUEEZE

 Lor:

 god, Dean pressing the paper down into the blood so it doesn't move

 Mace:

 yep

 FUCK YOU JOHN

 Lor:

 FUCK OFF, JOHN, jeeeeesus

 Mace:

 Sammy smells the bullshit that John came for this dead friend but keeps away from his own sons

 Lor:

 YEP

 apparently he didn't teach you not to knock on the window like that and scare the crap out of your kids

 Mace:

 YEP

 Aha! John isn't there because of his dead friend but for the fucking gun

 Lor:

 YEP

 Mace:

 I forget that they've not encountered vampires yet

 Lor:

 he THouGhT tHeY wERe EXtinCT

 yeah

 Mace:

  (Buffy would kick John's ass so hard)

 Lor:

 I feel like he isn't even that good at his job

 (YES)

 Mace:

 NOPE

I mean, there's no evidence that he is. He's well known to demons not for his own sake but because of his sons

 Lor:

 yeah

 Mace:

 Makes Dean's worship of him that much more tragically skewed

 Lor:

 I think maybe some people say he is? but also he seems to have had a falling out with... everyone

 yeah

 Mace:

 OHO, don't question dad, Sammy

FUUUUUCK YOU JOHN

 Lor:

 and the way he doesn't tell them ANYTHING

 Mace:

 YEP

 you know, I kind of love this idea now, that John actually isn't anything special at all.

 Lor:

 god he does things to make them feel SMALL. i HATE him

 Mace:

 OH FUCK YOU SO HARD JOHN DO NOT TALK ABOUT BABY LIKE THAT

 Lor:

 ooo YES

 Mace:

 YESYESYES

 Lor:

 RIGHT?

 Dean loves that car like it is HIMSELF don't be such a JERK

 oh, Sam is driving

 Mace:

 Sam is the chosen one for the yellow eyed war, Dean is chosen by Chuck, ffs. They're the ones that matter. John is in fact nothing. and maybe he senses that and it bothers him

 Lor:

 ooooo

 Mace:

 oh submissive DEAN

 Lor:

 YEP

 do you hear that, John? revenge isn't worth much if you end up dead

OR YOUR KIDS DO

 Mace:

 YUP

 Ooooh, angry Sammy

I LOVE IT

 Lor:

 YES

 poor Dean, getting between them

 Mace:

 yeah

 "and I said no" YAS SAMMY

 Lor:

 YAAAS

 Mace:

 but poor Dean saying "stop it, both of you"

 Lor:

 yeah

 oh Dean. I just want to wrap him in blankets. this isn't supposed to be your job, baby

 Mace:

 yeah

 vampires just shouldn't be skanky

 it's wrong

 Lor:

 no

like, they are immortal, why are they living in a crap barn being crappy?

 Mace:

 right?!

 Lor:

 FUCK YOU JOHN. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BIGGER MACHETE

 Mace:

 YUP

 Lor:

 so I will never watch it again, so I'll never know I guess, but is the barn in 327 supposed to be this barn?

 Mace:

 no idea

stupid 327

WHO CARES

 Lor:

 i suppose knowing where they're both set would help

but that's Jenny, right? the woman they turned?

 Mace:

 yeah? is she in the last ep? I have blocked most of it from memory

 Lor:

 yeah, she's the like head vampire of the nest they're fighting in that one

 Mace:

 ah

 "you gotta understand something: I'm a raging douchebag."

 Lor:

 HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 you became their abuser

 Mace:

 YUP

 Lor:

 it never occurred to him what Sam wanted? JESUS

 Mace:

 yeah

 my god, Jared has a gorgeous smile

 Lor:

 YES

 I do love that they frame Sam as the one who is like John

 Mace:

 yeah that's clever

 Lor:

 "you know what to do" and then cut to Dean as bait

I HATE HIM

 Mace:

 YEP

 Lor:

 and it's sexualized too

 Mace:

 of course it is

 Lor:

 YES DEAN

 omg the way his voice breaks

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

 the way Sam yells at John and Dean pleads with him

 Mace:

 yeah

 Lor:

 that's probably personality difference, but I wonder if it's also partly bc Dean remembers when John wasn't like this

 Mace:

 hm, maybe

i lean more toward personality

 Lor:

 yeah I think I do too, honestly

 I don't like the way he's dealing with these vampires either. like, it's almost cruel

the rope? using the feelings they have for each other against them? gross, John

 Mace:

 hm. yeah, but I think sam and dean do similar things, no?

we just hate John

 Lor:

 I am conveniently forgetting that fact

 Mace:

 Ha! I suspected as much

 Lor:

 lol

 Mace:

 oooh rebel Dean I LOVE IT

 Lor:

 "I am?"

 YES

 [after the episode ended]

Lor:

I feel like there was a lot of vampire lore in there they abandon after this ep

 Mace:

yeah? I can’t keep track

we really don’t see a lot of vampires

that one really old dude

and a couple of eps here and there

 Lor:

 yeah

The vamps’ eyes do a thing in this one I don’t think we see again? and that stuff about a vampire once getting your scent never leaving you alone. and the herbs stuff so they can’t smell you

yeah, they aren’t around super a lot

 Mace:

 ah yeah, I think you’re right about that

 Lor:

 but there’s the whole Gordon thing. and then that nest Dean is a part of for a hot second in S6

 Mace:

 Oh I forgot about that

and BENNY HOW COULD I FORGET BENNY

 Lor:

  Mace:

 I’m so sorry, teddy bear. hold it against me

 Lor:

 HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[samwinchestersgf]

guardian angel

requested by: anonymous

request: Could you write something with Gabriel being the guardian angel of Sam and Dean's little sister?

summary: sam and dean’s younger sister is a klutz. after cracking under the pressure of living up to her brothers’ reputation, gabriel, her guardian archangel, makes her feel better.

warnings: mild language. angst. gabriel being a turd bucket, and then being a sweetheart. fluff.

i sit around the big map table in the bunker with sam and dean. with my arms crossed, i lean back in my chair. damn, they’re insufferable at times, but, this time is worse than ever before.

“what do you mean i can’t come on the hunt with you?” i ask, outraged.

“i mean exactly what i said, y/n.” dean’s voice raises, daring me to top it.

i match his volume. “why can’t i come?!”

“because i said so, okay?” he gets up to his feet. he’s louder than me, and bigger than me. he always has been.

“this is some misogynistic bullshit.” i bring my tone up the slightest.

this really pisses him off. “i am not a misogynist for wanting to keep my little sister safe. sorry, that’s not how it works.”

“i’d be safe on the hunt!” i look over at sam for back up. he’s always been the more reasonable one.

he shrugs his shoulders and mouths the word, ‘sorry.’

“when have i ever not been safe on a hunt?!” i retry my approach.

“just about every damn time!” his voice booms through the bunker, ricocheting off the walls.

“i’ve never gotten hurt!” i look back over to sam, my eyes begging him to stand up for me.

“maybe you’ve never gotten that hurt... but you are super clumsy.” his voice is low and quiet compared to mine and dean’s.

“see, i’ve never gotten that hurt, just like, scratches and stuff.” i give him a smug look.

“you fall around so much, there’s a chance that this time could be the time that you get seriously hurt.” sam’s sympathetic with me, trying to get me to calm down.

sam has always been the level-headed sibling. he’s always the mediator. even when we were younger, the only person he’d argue with was dad, and he didn’t get the balls to do that until he was older. still, he’s 6 years older than me and has made it his personal duty to protect me. he enjoys playing the role that dean always got to play when we were little.

dean and i, though, are always at each other’s throats. it not that we don’t get along, because we do, but we both inherited our father’s stubbornness, whereas sam was blessed with mary’s mediating abilities. dean’s a whole decade older than me, so he thinks he’s all tough.

“i can take care of myself,” i reroute the conversation. i find myself saying that line a lot.

“when dad died, he made it my responsibility to take care of you and i’m not gonna let you go out and get hurt.” dean spits.

when dean brings up dad, out of respect, he knows that i’ll do what he says. that’s why he doesn’t bring him up very often. i lean backwards in my chair quickly, but too harshly. the chair goes flying down to the ground.

i close my eyes and prepare for impact, but it never comes. i feel myself being pushed up and back to the chair’s neutral position. my brothers look confused, and so do i.

“did you...?” my voice trails off, looking at dean.

“my reflexes are quick, but not that quick.” he shakes his head. “but, see? you’re clumsy.”

“dean, can i at least pr-“

“you’re not coming. i’m serious.” he says sternly.

“sam?” i turn to him, pleading with my eyes.

“sorry, y/n.”

i huff and push my hair away from the table, standing up. “fine. i’ll go to my room and be useless.”

as i whip around, my elbow bumps into the chair, which goes tumbling to the ground, charting course to land right on my feet. but, i’m yanked backwards, away from the chair.

“ow!” i yelp at the grip on my waist. “dean!”

“that’s wasn’t me.” he throws his hands up.

“seriously? i’m not stupid.” i gripe.

“it really wasn’t him.” sam confirms.

irked, i shrug it off. “whatever.”

i walk to my room and flop on the bed. what a lousy day. apparently i’m too clumsy for anything. frustration bubbles up in me. when are they gonna stop treating me like a little kid? i’m 25 years old.

i grip my pillow in my hands. stupid brothers. stupid hunting monsters. stupid clumsy feet. stupid everything. it’s not fun being the weakest link.

i groan and chuck my pillow across the room, but it stops midair. i blink, “what the fuck.”

i grab the gun from my bed side table, and when i turn back around, the pillow is gone. i stand up at the foot of my bed, holding the gun ready. something weird is going on.

something that feels a lot like my pillow smacks me in the back of the head. i turn around and point the gun at the wall. there’s nothing there. i let out a deep, shaky breath.

suddenly, my pillow is being held to my face from someone behind me. i let out a scream, and the pillow immediately falls to the ground. i turn around and with a sweep of my feet, knock the intruder to the ground. i stomp on their leg and cock my gun, pointing it at their head.

“who the hell- gabriel?”

footsteps pound down the hallway. it’s no doubt sam and dean, alerted by my scream. i look at him, absolutely confused.

“call off your attack dogs and then we’ll talk.” he says before disappearing again.

sam and dean burst through the door. dean is the first to speak, “what happened?!”

“there was a snake!” i lie. “he slithered back into the wall.”

“you scared us, y/n.” sam relaxed.

“well, the snake scared me.” i half-apologize.

they roll their eyes and leave. i shut the door behind them and cross my arms at gabriel, who has reappeared, but this time on his feet.

“why did you try to suffocate me with my pillow?” i whisper.

“just having some fun, darlin.” he smiles.

i’m not amused. “why are you here?”

“well, if you haven’t noticed, you’re a little clumsy.” he teases.

“if you’re just gonna bash me for it, you can leave.” i warn, aggravated.

“that’s not why i’m here. although, it is super funny.” he smirks.

“i will scream.”

“fine, fine. i’m your guardian angel, or whatever.” gabriel admits.

“my what?” i raise an eyebrow.

“all those times you should’ve gotten hurt out there, but didn’t? that was me.” he comes clean.

“so, you’re the prick that bruised my waist from grabbing me so hard.” i roll my eyes.

“i’m the prick that stopped you from breaking your toe.” he sasses. “let see the bruises.”

“gabriel, no-“

“seriously, let me see. i’m not supposed to let you get hurt.” he demands.

“it’s just some bruises.” i counter.

“that’s still an injury.” he points out.

i reluctantly lift my shirt up to my ribcage and hold it there, allowing him to look at the purple bruises he left. it’s an awkward moment, for sure. his eyes linger there for what seems like forever. i clear my throat, and he snaps out of it and walks toward me.

i let my shirt drop to it’s neutral position and back up, “what are you doing?”

“healing you.” he states.

“gabriel, it’s literally just a few bruises.” i screw up my face.

“it’s bruised down to the bone.” he informs me.

“what the hell?!” i lift my shirt up slightly and look at the bruises again. “all you did was grab me!”

“i’m an archangel, sweetie. we’re rough.” he winks.

“ew.” i throw my pillow at him.

“seriously, c’mere.” he beckons me toward him.

i roll my eyes and walk toward him, holding my shirt up. his large hands grip my waist, sending jolts of butterflies through my stomach. light radiates from his fingertips, and when he pulls away, the bruises are gone.

i gingerly press on my side, and there’s no pain at all. i look back up at gabriel, who is inches away from me. my face flushes red and i clear my throat, taking a step back.

“thank you.” i swallow.

“you’re welcome.” he nods.

dean’s shouts echo through the bunker. “we’re leaving now! remember to stay inside and call jody is you need anything.”

“gabriel?” i smirk.

“what?”

“you might have to protect me from my brother’s fists.” i grin.

“what? kid, don’t make my job harder. y/n-“

i take off towards the garage, taking a short cut, and hop in one of our spare cars. it’s a pickup truck. i sink low into the seat so the boys won’t see me. i hear them as they walk into the garage.

“i kind of feel bad, dean.” i hear sam say as they approach their car. “she really wanted to come.”

“so? she’ll be fine.” he shrugs.

“she’s upset.” sam reasons.

“and she’ll get over it. should we take the truck?” he asks. my body tenses up. oh god, please don’t take the truck.

“it’s too cramped in there.” sam shakes his head.

“you’re right.”

the door to the impala closes and i watch as they drive off. gabriel pops into the passenger’s seat beside me.

“this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. they’re gonna kill you.” he tells me.

“good thing i have a guardian angel.” i smile cheesily.

i speed off after them and follow them through the twisting roads. i wonder if they’re suspicious of me. they probably are. they’ve probably already recognized the car.

my phone rings, making me jump. i pick up. “hello?”

“is everything okay at home?” sam’s voice asks through the phone.

“yep. hey, where you guys even going?” i ask.

he sighs, “a vampire hunt. it’s not too far, but stay home. we should be back soon.”

“fine. bye, sam.” i hang up the phone. “ready to watch me kill some bloodsuckers, gabe?”

“y/n, you should go home.” he leans back in the seat.

“if you say that again i’ll make your job even harder by crashing the car.” i joke.

he scoffs. “seriously, go home.”

“listen, i don’t even need a guardian angel in the first place, much less another person bossing me around.” my tone becomes serious.

“you do need a guardian angel.” he rolls his eyes. “you’d be dead by now without me.”

“bullshit. i don’t need- or want a guardian angel. so, go away.” i huff.

“y/n, c’mon-“

“go away and stop guarding me, gabriel.” i demand.

he sighs. “fine.”

he disappears and i slam on my steering wheel. i watch as sam and dean pull into a warehouse. i wait until they walk into the building to park and get out. i walk up behind them and tap them on the shoulder with a shit-eating grin on my face.

“y/n, what the hell?” dean whisper shouts. “get out!”

“i’m here to help, there’s no reason in sending me home now.” i smile.

“i’m killing you when we get home.” he groans as vampires come running towards us.

i take my machete and start slinging, one by one demolishing the nest by cutting their heads off. i get carried away. i’m doing really good!

a pair of fangs plunge into my neck and start sucking. a sharp pain coarses through my body. i scream and writhe under their touch. i feel the blood flowing out of my neck and into their mouth, but i’m utterly helpless.

i’m pushed to the ground, away from the vampire. i look up and watch as gabriel decapitates him. he looks down at me, his face saying all i need to know. if he were to speak right now, he would say- “i told you so.”

he quickly leans down and presses two fingers to my neck, healing my injury, and then vanishes into thin air. sam and dean come running over to my side.

“are you okay?” sam asks.

“did it hurt you?” his voice is threatening.

“no, i killed him.” i lie. “i just fell.”

dean is furious with me, so he drives home alone, while sam accompanies me in the truck. after a few minutes of driving, he turns to me with a smile on his face.

“you faired pretty well.” he’s full of pride.

i know i really didn’t, and i’d probably be dead if it weren’t for gabriel. “i know.”

back at the bunker, i sit on my bed, hugging mh pillow. i was raised by one of the best hunters ever, and i suck at hunting. i’ve had every resource i could imagine to get better, and all the experience i could have, and i still suck.

i cry. the hot tears stream down my face. i’m really not good at anything, am i? i’m the worst winchester. i can’t do anything. i need a guardian angel to save my life because i can’t even handle myself with a dumb vampires nest. sam and dean were right; gabriel was right; everyone was right about me.

the bed dips a little in the corner. i look up and see gabriel sitting there, watching me. i sniff and wipe the tears away, trying (and failing) to cover up the fact that i’m upset.

“you’ve gotten stop surprising me like that.” i force a laugh.

“i’m always watching, y/n. i know you’re crying.” he’s sympathetic, but i don’t want him to be.

i deflect. “always watching? that’s creepy.”

“a little, but enjoy the show.” he laughs.

“ew, gabe.” i crinkle up my nose.

“why are you crying?” he asks, getting back on topic.

“do we really have to talk about this?” i groan.

“well, i am your guardian angel.” he shrugs.

“i’m not hurt.”

he adds, “physically.”

“it’s a story for another time,” i sniff.

“no, no. now.” he corrects.

i roll my eyes and hesitate. “i’m the worst winchester.”

“you’re all pretty insufferable, and stubborn.” he waves a dismissive hand.

“gee, thanks, but, thats not what i mean.” i press my lips into a grimace. “i can’t hunt. i need a stupid guardian angel to watch over me so i don’t die. i’m not good at anything.”

“i bet you’re good at something.” he reasons.

“nope.” i shake my head.

“hm...” his eyes flicker down to my mouth. my breath hitches.

he leans in, before i could even protest (if i wanted to), and kisses me. gabriel, the archangel, kisses me. my hands work through his hair momentarily before he pulls away.

he breaths, “you’re good at that.”

my face flushes red. maybe i do need a guardian angel.

[red-hood-vigilante]

more hbo spn rambles, thoughts, drabbles etc. long long post.

part 1 here

there’s some things i’ve omitted here bc others have already posted about those things, certain headcanons and characterizations and stuff. those posts are in my likes somewhere (and i’ll reblog them someday), and there’s some posts i’ve read but not liked, which i now can only vaguely remember, which is why some ideas/thoughts are similar

ALSO most of these follow the model i talked about in part one: how s1-5 will stay more or less how they are but s6-10 is changed (some things are cut out entirely, some things are tweaked and some characters + arcs are more fleshed out. more focus on sam’s trauma and post-cage adaptation to the real world as well as dean letting his rage and control issues consume him and how he’d recover and redeem himself)

as i typed these paragraphs, i realized i really have 10 seasons mapped out and ready to go. hbo hire me!!

alright go:

sam and dean get wearier as the show progresses (second half), and eventually they stop putting so much care and thought in the people they save. like...hm how do i say this, like as long as a victim/victims are saved, they don’t care about how that happens or how those people suffer potential consequences, like if the victims lose a limb or have their homes burned down because of the monster, then sam and dean don’t really care. they saved your life, now they’ll leave you with your life in potential shambles and not care because all that matters is that they saved your life, not how it is afterwards. they still care about saving that one person, but eventually it pales a little in comparison to a war between heaven and hell, being the vessels etc. ---> saving people becomes less about making sure they’re actually alright and healing from horrific events and more about just making sure they have a pulse before they move on

when angels lose their wings they are either burned off in the actual fall or ripped off of them in their vessels, which leaves pretty nasty scars on the vessel

ed and harry are so young and bright eyed about the whole hunting thing; sam and dean as kids, idolizing it, finding it exciting and intriguing when they shouldn’t. sam and dean try to get them out of the business before they too are too traumatized and desensitized to do anything but hunt. neither sam or dean will say it but they are jealous of ed and harry and their freedom to leave, and hate them for choosing this voluntarily instead of being dragged into it by tragedy

hbo spn is a slow burn. there’s a lot more shots of sam and dean in silence just sitting together after a hunt, exhausted and too tired to move yet. they’re covered in blood and guts on the side of the road after killing or covered with dirt in a graveyard after burning bones, sitting next to the fire, just watching it. the times they park the car and watch the stars? we get to see it. 

dean wears rings and the amulet all the time in the beginning, for the first five seasons. the rings vary; first they’re some of john’s old ones and stuff he finds in thrift stores. then later on he begins wearing rings from people they’ve saved/haven’t saved as a keepsakes etc. when he begins his descent to the holy murderer in s6-10 he wears less and less rings. they don’t matter anymore -> symbolically shedding who he was and what mattered to him

the only accessories sam has is a rosary/cross around his neck. he has jess’ engagement ring in his pocket/wallet. after the cage he vaguely remembers why the ring was there and who jessica was (more on this further down)

the four horsemen are manifestations of different aspects of human nature at its most grotesque and strongest, can’t be killed as long as humans live. war is conflict, famine is desire, pestilence is physical and mental illnesses.

(the seven sins are like the horsemen, tulpas of human nature instead of demons)

death isn’t a concentration of an existing aspect of humans as much as it is the end of life, the antithesis of life. death the oldest of the horsemen and has existed since the beginning of any life, organism, cell and atom. the opposite of life and light, the other half of god (as i’m typing this i’m confused as to why  amara was the opposite of god instead of death). death isn’t evil or good, remains 100% objective. doesn’t care for sam or dean at all, but has a begrudging respect for their stubbornness and entertainment they provide due to their flat out refusal to do as they’re told by celestial bodies when anyone else would crumble

by including death i feel like it very naturally begs questions of who decides when someone dies, when someone lives, why would death follow these guides instead of reaping whomever whenever, what happens if a life isn’t reaped at the right time etc. the reader in me adore the idea of death having a library with books and records of everyone who has ever lived and died and how they died - but then, who writes these books and why? do they decide, and if in that case, how? these questions are above my paygrade but you know what i mean? like there has to be some sort of system right, god created everything, death executes to maintain order, some third party deity writes the laws and the books. the three branches of government. ok but it’s hbo so again, i think we shouldn’t dive this deep into things, like as much as these topics intrigue me i don’t want to stray too much from the dirt road trip aesthetic

shapeshifters are extremely rare because they don’t require any kind of human blood or organs/sacrifice to live

i want more exploration of how magic is like science, like it just needs the right ingredients and right conditions. sam thinks of magic as an obscure branch of science; it just requires research and knowledge and clear intentions because science can be controlled and do a lot of good when used responsibly. dean doesn’t like it. he doesn’t trust the unpredictable elements and he’s seen enough to know it never goes well. magic is a force that can’t be controlled by anyone.

sam and dean have full on fist fights regularly. to practice and keeping each other sharp, but also because they’re siblings. they’re feral, insane and unhinged with each other and they get on each other’s nerves A LOT. it’s petty and childish and sometimes it can get a lil ugly but it becomes their way of family therapy. after a fight the next scene cuts to sam and dean with ruffled clothes, nosebleeds and swollen lips at a diner eating silently after beating each other up. either they sit in silence because they’re tired or both are harping on the other’s openings and weaknesses

sometimes they’ll fight a little dirty but they do so in different ways; dean will pull the old ‘look!’ and point to something and then tackle sam when he turns to look while sam will just cry out in fake pain which makes dean stop dead in his tracks before sam headbutts him or kicks him in the groin

we, the audience get used to these fights, they’re sometimes funny and for comic relief, sometimes for narrative purposes (like tricking a monster they’re fighting each other when they’re really not) BUT. then comes the times when sam and dean are actually fighting without holding back and we see how much they are capable of hurting each other or how heartbreaking and difficult it can be to watch when of them are incapable of fighting back/doesn’t defend himself -> swan song when dean doesn’t fight back against possessed sam, or when dean beats soulless sam unconscious

sam and dean also just verbally bully each other constantly but they do have their odd ways of expressing affection and care. they get the other person their fave snack whenever they go grocery shopping without being asked to and are the only other one they truly trust to have their back in hunts. have a cup of coffee ready before the other asks for one. brothers and each other’s best friend. nightmare duo but in a sweet way. the cooperation of ‘the usual suspects’ when they’re in different interrogation rooms but still has the cover story down to a t. code words and code names and cover stories, they know it all

when sam and dean fight together against a common enemy they’re a damn nightmare - because they know each others weaknesses and habits, they cover each other perfectly and in complete silence. they’ve been at it together since they were kids and read each other’s nonverbal cues like a picture book

to build off of what i said in part 1; the winchesters are pretty hated in the hunter’s community. even the people sam and dean frequently work with (bobby, ellen, jo, ash, rufus, bela, kevin, charlie, castiel etc) roasts them all the time and don’t hesitate with calling them out on their self-pitying crap when it get’s too much (spn was just objectively better when characters weren’t afraid of dragging sam and dean through the mud for being selfish and stupid) and this WILL persist in hbo spn. the only reason people continue working with sam and dean is because they know deep down a lot of the things that happens aren’t sam and dean’s fault - but they still blame them for it. doesn’t make it easier how sam or dean sometimes start crap on purpose to save the other

the winchesters are terrifying and people for sure tell stories about them, but not like ‘they’re heroes’, more like ‘they’re insane and dangerous. stay the fuck away from them’. some stories are true, like how they’ve worked with demons, but some are just game of telephone. (dean has apparently a ghost he is frequently possessed by while sam is actually a mutant vampire). hunters hate and are scared of the winchesters. sam and dean are never invited to hunter stuff (burials, memorials etc) but crash them nonetheless even though the hunters do NOT want them there.

you know what drives me insane when i think about it? how some characters in spn already are their hbo spn counterparts; john. mary. adam. maybe kevin?

other things that already are their hbo spn counterparts: dean throwing away the amulet right in front of sam. eyes burning when angels are seen. how ghosts are just tragedies, stuck in a loop they can’t leave. how a lot of the monsters they meet are just victims or their circumstances or the first victim of a curse. the impala being sam and dean’s home. dean not knowing how to comfort sam when he’s upset other than trying to do things for sam that usually brings dean comfort (driving the impala, listening to rock music etc). the roadhouse. heaven being an eternal version of the memories that made you the happiest even though it’s not real. sam wanting independence and freedom but never fully having it. dean fearing being alone more than anything else and that’s where he always ends up. sam has an eating disorder after the demon blood and dean has an alcohol problem he refuses to see as a problem. dean saying “i’d do it again” without an ounce of regret and pouring himself a drink when sam tells him it was fucked up to lie to him about gadreel

the demon/angel hybrid: THIS could be sooo interesting to explore. an angel and demon hybrid are you kidding me?? not to toot my own horn too much but i’m so clever. i should write this story myself. SO. does this creature have parents who fucked in their vessels or was this an experiment by god (yes i love the ‘mad scientist’ idea, that really should’ve been played up way more) or did a pre-existing creature (human or otherwise) drink demon blood and angel grace at the same time so that it created itself? so much potential for some really intriguing storytelling and character exploration - not only the creature itself and what they would be like, but also for the people around; sam, dean, castiel, jack etc. how would they react to this thing that is the very definition of defying heaven and hell and all the natural laws? does it exist before the show starts or will we see its birth?

the powers of the demon/angel hybrid would be tricky; a mix of holy and defiant, grotesque and beautiful. unconsciously forces people to tell the truth when talking to them. poisons whatever they touch. eyes of a demon, wings of an angel. can smite but skin will burn when touching iron. can do deals but will require a sacrifice in return, not a soul, usually a body part taken then and there (the hybrid eats it. it favours eyeballs and the liver - angels like raw meat). lights always flicker. makes things explode when angry (esp people and cars). can manipulate feelings, thoughts and memories. can travel to both heaven and hell, not welcome in either places. + standard stuff like telekinesis, teleportation, mind reading, super strength etc. 

sam and dean’s wardrobe are pretty much the same; whatever’s cheap and not covered in blood. however, they do have stylistic differences. sam thinks graphic tees are funny, dean uses whatever’s black combined with john’s leather jacket. their wardrobe melds as they stop thinking of themselves as individuals and more of “me and my brother,”. their clothes are tattered and torn to shreds all the time. hand me downs, hand me ups. when they stray off their “path” and do things that are the crux of a storyline/character arc, this would reflect in their clothes. when sam is with ruby and becomes more and more “evil” he wears more and more red, a colour he has stated in the past he doesn’t really like. when dean is dead, sam starts to wear his rings and john’s and dean’s leather jacket. when dean decides he’s going to say yes to michael he dresses in white, when sam is dead dean takes off every piece of jewelry except the amulet. he holds it clenched in his fists when he’s whispering what comes close to a prayer

logically the amulet should have a backstory but you know what? i love that it’s hinted to be just a piece of cheap jewelry sam found in a thrift store he decided to give to dean. but narratively it should be explained so... idk. what could be logical solution as to why it would react to GOD himself? maybe god wore it once cuz he thought it was neat but he sold it for three dollars because he wanted coffee and then sam found it a week later

i would prefer it if god didn’t show up at all (absent father number one) but if he DID he’s not all powerful just a true neutral (like death, 100% objective) who created a thing that just took a life of its own, much like a parent and a child - the parent helps the child but can’t control it. the times he did intervene or tried to do something it didn’t really have any real long lasting effect so he gave up on trying a while ago. 

@spneveryseason talked about this, how the storyline of sam being possessed by gadreel would be horrifying if we saw everything from sam’s perspective instead of dean’s (her fic is wonderful). in the ‘dean slowly descends into a righteous murderer to become holy’ idea i have this tracks so damn well because again, if dean believes something is right, it is right, no questions about it. everyone around him is like “that’s really fucked up and you should make amends” but dean doesn’t see any reasons for why - sam is alive isn’t he? and seeing it from sam’s pov would really underline how horrifying, dehumanizing and belittling that experience was

john and mary are adam and eve. sam and dean are cain and abel are michael and lucifer. time is a flat circle. history never stops repeating itself. 

sam is the villain of s4. he is manipulated and key information is withheld from him but in the end... would it made a difference? it crossed his mind, that he could be tricked because ruby is a demon after all, but maybe he likes the power, the feeling of freedom, that he wasn’t just the baby, the one who always needs permission to do things. if he has to drain possessed people to get that power... so be it. and it’s for a good purpose, until it isn’t. he’s hungry for more, to be feared and respected. he’s enticed by lucifer’s sweet words, the potential of all that power and the idea of ruling two out of three realms. dean manages to pull him back from the brink because sam decides he doesn’t want to be what john thought he was and fail dean and himself like that.

dean is the villain in s9. he is controlling, the mark of cain without the mark. what he says goes - it’s not a democracy, it’s a dictatorship. he doesn’t see how much pain, doubt and fear he causes the people around him. if some victims or civilians die on his watch that doesn’t matter - just some collateral damage. sam can’t make dean listen to him because dean is the older one, the one who’s always called the shots. dean is the angelic one, heaven’s chosen warrior, he is untouchable and unkillable. he’s is an excellent killer, filling the void with blood and rage which is better than the crippling fear of loneliness carved into his bones. 'i butcher for love, to protect,’ he tells himself. ‘why shouldn’t i exterminate, regardless of the cost? i’ve followed the rules, i’ve always sacrificed. now i call the shots. it’s my right.’

sam’s hell trauma is never magically removed. he’s stuck with the memories and the nightmares and the occasional hallucinations. castiel can’t do anything but offers to wipe his memory completely, but sam says no, he is still doing penance. 

after dean comes back from hell he starts calling himself old man and jokes a lot about he’s 40 years older now (after he’s more comfortable about speaking about hell) 

when sam comes back he feels ancient (he’s over 900 years old at least but he lost count), weary, tired and so so so out of place in this world. he’s forgotten how to put gas in a car, how to drive, how to use a credit card, all the song lyrics he and dean used to yell together, the faces of people he knew before he fell, the softness of a bed, the schools he went to, most of the hunts he and dean, how john died, who mary is, the initials carved into the impala, the taste of food that isn’t raw meat. it’s so much he’s forgotten that he has to relearn. he prefers figuring things out with castiel instead of dean because castiel doesn’t silently resent him for everything he’s forgotten

sam doesn’t laugh anymore. despite dean’s many and castiel’s few awkward attempts, it’s more like quick smile and a quiet “hmm”. on some days he recoils when he sees blood and guts, on other days he’s so apathetic it’s unnerving

sam sympathizes with the brought back mary and castiel more than ever. dean tries to get sam to remember things he’s forgotten from his childhood but sam can’t connect with it anymore. he stopped being that sam a long time ago. dean doesn’t know what else to do than try to force this connection to be revitalized and he fails. sam isn’t that person anymore and this wedge in their relationship becomes a central factor in dean’s s6-10 desperation and isolation. sam is here and safe but it’s not really sam, not the sam dean grew up with

while sam has forgotten how to make coffee, he now knows everything about angels, effective torture tricks, a bunch of lore + biblical history, how to navigate hell, the most powerful and influential demons, rare and powerful spells as well as perfect enochian (he will speak enochian without realizing and it feels more natural than english). lucifer and michael were surprisingly talkative (raging about the unfairness) when taking their anger and hatred out on sam and adam and each other. sam had access to all of lucifer’s memories and knowledge for the time he was the one in control. walking library and encyclopedia of biblical lore.

he still has some muscle memory from hunting and sparring, but sam is ghostly thin and very rusty. even though he’s an expert on lore, he’s not fit to go on hunts anymore and he knows it. 

sam remembers adam and swears he’ll try to get him out, but he can’t. just thinking about the cage makes him vomit. he can’t talk about it, much less go near it. after a while sam thinks it might be better to let adam stay down there than let him come back up and feel this crushing emptiness and loss of direction

sam’s trials take place in s9 instead of 8; coinciding with dean’s villain arc. for sam the trials are a chance to redeem himself again, this time for good by closing hellgates forever. they’re scrubbing him clean of the demon blood and his sins and they give him a sense of purpose again now that he can’t join hunts anymore. it doesn’t matter if he dies because of it. it would be nice with a permanent and peaceful death that did something good. dean is taken aback by sam’s devotion to repent for something that happened years ago and for something sam has already paid for a thousand times over. dean realizes how messed up he himself has become and how he’s helped put sam here, on the cusp of self sacrifice again because of sickening guilt and self hatred. dean begs sam to not complete the trials at the cost of his own life and swears he’ll better himself, be a friend and a brother, not a jailer, dictator or a murderer. ‘if you won’t give yourself or life another chance, please give me one.’ ---> s10 pacifist dean learning to let go of the control, the violent tendencies and the rage

oh wait what if gadreel still possessed sam after the trials to heal him but sam is the one who invites the angel in? he’ll keep his promise to dean about staying alive, as well as heal from the inside and have breaks from the world when he doesn’t want to be present, like he and gadreel will alternate being the one in control. he keeps it a secret from dean and helps gadreel imitate him so dean won’t notice. it’s not so bad, being possessed by this angel - sam can say no anytime and gadreel is a nice guy. since they alternate on who’s present they can access each other’s memories, which is terrifying and embarrassing at first, but since gadreel and sam have been tricked and used by lucifer and been punished for it for far too long, they understand each other. now another creature knows their trauma and terrors without the need for verbal explanation. also having an angel residing in his body makes sam feel like he can hunt properly again because gadreel can heal him and take over in situations sam’s overpowered. this could show how messed up sam has come to view himself and his body. 

dean is conflicted when he finds out; sam lied but gadreel does help sam heal, sam’s traumatized and his self-worth is fucked up and dean has contributed to that. dean convinces sam to push gadreel out, that sam is still valuable, loved and a good person who shouldn’t be in a place where he views his body and mind like a property to be occupied. sam’s faith begins to come back bit by bit, not in god, but in himself, his brother, in the good things in life. they build their little family; sam, dean, castiel, the hybrids, whomever of their allies that are alive at this point.

castiel can heal sam and dean’s wounds but they are never completely gone; they leave scars and phantom pains. the brothers have SO many scars over the years. dean flaunts them to impress people because he likes the questions and the fearful admiration, the attention and the nods of approval. sam hides them.

when dean is in a bad mood or needs to get his mind off of things, sam just drops something like ‘i don’t get the deal with led zeppelin. one of the most overrated bands of all time’ and dean will go OFF every single time about the entire led zeppelin history, their discography and how they’ve shaped rock music. this will go on for hours and sam will zone out after 1 minute. but dean rants nonsensically the entire drive and it does get him to think about something else for a little bit. they stop at a motel and dean is STILL ranting while brushing his teeth. stops when going to sleep but without fail picks up where he left off the morning after and is so into it he doesn’t notice sam not paying attention at all. we could see this once in s1 when they’re searching for john, another in s3 when dean is anxious about his deal coming to an end and then again in a later season, when sam doesn’t remember to ask/doesn’t have the patience or mental capability, so they’ll sit there in tense silence, showing how much they’ve changed.

---> i can see this SO clearly in my head, how they’ll get in the car and we, the audience, will recognize the camera angle, the same lines and dean’s grumpy mood, and we’ll anticipate what comes next. but sam isn’t that kid anymore and he’s not peeking at dean to gauge what his mood is and how much of a shit eating grin he should wear when being an annoying little brother to cheer dean up. now he’s looking out the window, leaned back, they’re not looking at each other. this shot is a minute or two long, uninterrupted. dean turns on music but neither are singing along or doing anything to lighten the mood. 

s1-5: sam gets hooked on demon blood, dean has an alcohol problem. when sam goes through withdrawals, dean decides to quit drinking and joins him because he wants to be supportive, and he realizes that when he drinks two beers for breakfast there’s a problem

s6-10: sam takes painkillers, anti depressants and anti psyhosis meds to numb himself from the phantom pains and reduce post-cage effects. dean started drinking again after sam jumped and still does, but started smoking in addition because he still drives a lot and doesn’t want to die in something as pathetic as a car crash. 

there a scene in an episode in the first half of s8, when sam has decided to stay with dean instead of amelia, and dean has rejected benny in favor of sam, and then the brothers sit in a couch watching tv while drinking beer and neither of them look particularly happy about it - that’s how their relationship is a lot of the time. they know they’re fucked up and neither of them will ever be truly happy when the other’s around, but they owe each other so much and they don’t have to explain themselves to each other the way they do to others. they know each other so well, each other’s traumas and the things they’ve done, it feels fake and exhausting to try to be something other than the veteran hunters they are. misery loves company; they are miserable together but would be far more miserable apart and living a normal life. they do love each other, but neither of them are particularly happy as the show progresses. family is hell and so is the lack of it. 

OK OK i mentioned it in part one, how i had my own very specific idea about how jack should come to be and here it is. long winded but (might just write a damn fic): 

after lucifer was cast back into the cage, he is stronger than he has been in a long time (being in his true vessel helped him stretched muscles he forgot he had. and fresh air.) sam is pulled out of the cage and it leaves a rift in the magic and chains - the binding is weaker and lucifer must act fast to get out before it heals. the cage is still strong enough to hold two archangels, so lucifer has to become weaker somehow to slip out through the cracks. he can’t get out of the cage, but souls can come in. demons bring themselves and human souls as tools for lucifer to use. there’s not much he can do here - consuming them, eating them, touching them, dissecting them doesn’t give him what he wants

eventually lucifer realizes he must do like azazel and create something new of two halves, like when he created demons. he begins melding his archangel grace with a human soul. he tries with demons, but his archangel grace automatically purifies them and leaves them too weak. he must try with a human soul who is good. he finds the soul of kelly kline, who sold her soul to save a loved one. with her, the merging, works. 

he has another self, a twin, a son, who’s half human and half archangel. half lucifer. the old lucifer will die but that’s ok, his desires, presence and self will live on in his new creation. the new lucifer barely makes it out of the cage, only able to due to its human side. on earth it creates a body for itself and takes shape, no longer a form of pure power and energy akin to the sun itself but now a person, reminiscent of kelly kline on earth and lucifer in heaven. they name themselves jack. jack searches for familiarity and finds it in sam, their old self’s perfect tool and another hybrid. jack finds a mentor in castiel, a younger brother and fellow angel with human elements. they do not find anything in dean, the key to his former self’s doom.

jack’s powers: their powers are like and unlike the angels because he is half archangel. jack has wings but sometimes they don’t work, or they’ll end up somewhere else entirely. their body is their own, not a vessel, so jack can’t possess people. doesn’t talk but people “know” what they’re saying or want because jack emits their emotions and thoughts to people they’re talking to like a radio tower. jack can also have this empathic connection and communication with animals. his mood affects the weather. immortal. reads minds. can remove a soul from a body and send it to heaven/hell by touching it, with practice they don’t need to touch a body. 

other stuff about jack: the human/archangel nature means jack only need sleep and food once a week or so. eats only nougat and raw meat. because jack is a kid they nap a lot. levitates when sleeping. never blinks, stares intensely at everything. their eye colour changes based on their mood. eyes glow in the dark. normal humans who look at jack for too long experience memory loss, fainting spells or migraines and eye contact for more than 10 seconds give vivid hallucinations of their worst nightmares. always barefoot, often floats like 10 cm off the ground because they find it more enjoyable than walking. wears the wildest clothes they can find, nothing matches and nothing is weather appropriate

i have a very specific image of jack in my mind; they look like delirium from the sandman comics with the hair that looks like it’s underwater and the fishes floating around their head, here and here are examples. in live action this would look not good or maybe even ridiculous for sure but in animation... endless potential for angels and monsters to have super interesting designs sigh

castiel’s arc should end with him going from blind soldier, to the unwilling ruler of heaven, finding a place on earth with sam and dean, becoming closer with humanity and eventually a father of three (the hybrids). 

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Makayla Part One

Sam Winchester x Reader

Words: 2767

Summary: Five years after abandoning your former hunting partners, you turn up at the bunker pleading for the Winchester’s help. Old wounds open for Sam and Dean goes into protective brother mode. Everything changes when you tell them why you’re there. 

Notes: I imagine this taking place in season 12. 1) because I think Sam is extremely attractive in this season and 2) I wanted to involve Mary. As always, reviews mean the world so don’t be shy! This is going to be another mini series, probably having three or four parts, so be sure to keep me updated on what you think. 

Special shout out to my amazing beta reader Sarah, @suckmysupernatural​ . I love her so much and honestly, she’s helped me so much in getting these imagines out for you and she has some absolutely killer writing of her own!

Want more Supernatural? Find it HERE

-

The violent rattling of the door was starting to scare her. She was crying, but you didn’t have time to comfort her. You grabbed her duffel bag, swept her up in your arms, and you ran like hell. You got to the car and rapidly buckled her into her car seat before feeling a hand yank you backwards. 

“Mommy!” Makayla cried. The vampire bared his fangs at you and you landed a punch his his nose, stunning him long enough for you to grab the machete from the front seat. 

“Kayla, baby, close your eyes.” You instructed before you lobbed off the vamp’s head with one clean swing. Blood splattered your clothes and the body landed with a thump. Your daughter’s tear filled green-blue eyes opened again and you quickly stood in between her and the gory mess. “Everything is going to be okay.” 

You jumped in the driver seat and practically floored it, ignoring the crunch and bump as you drove over the dead vampire. You drove for about an hour and pulled off into a motel parking lot. Makayla was still crying so you climbed back into the back seat and pulled her into your lap. It was quiet for a moment as her tears slowly stopped. 

“Mommy?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Can you tell me about him again? So I won’t be scared?” You brushed her brown hair back and kissed her forehead. God, she looked just like him.

“Kayla, you must have heard the story a thousand times.” Her innocent look morphed with enough sass to convince anyone. Now that, you were sure she got from her uncle. 

“I want to hear it again.” Adding a pout for good measure, she cuddled up closer to you. “Please?” You chuckled and let out a sigh of defeat. 

“Alright, alright.” Truth is, sometimes it just hurt too much to remember. But Makayla always wanted to hear more and more about her dad. “You’re dad and I had been friends for a long time. We traveled together, along with your uncle, for years and years, killing bad monsters and saving good people.”

“Dad was good at killing monsters, right mom?” A proud smile spread across her face. 

“The best.” You held her tighter, remembering how he used to smile at you when you’d defeat some evil spirit or demon. How you missed that smile.  “After a few years of traveling together, your dad and I fell in love. He protected me and I protected him. We were happy.” This was the part of the story you could never get through. “But one day, I had to go away.”

“Why?” Every time she asked you this and every time you just gave her the same answer. 

“I’ll explain one day. When you’re older.” You ran your fingers through her hair, looking at the stars through the sunroof. “But after I left, I had you.”

“And now we have each other’s backs.” Kayla beamed. You smiled. 

“That’s right.” 

“Mom, what was he like?” No matter how many times she’d heard it, she always wanted to hear more.

“Your dad was the kindest, bravest, and most caring person I’ve ever met. He was sweet and strong and he gave the absolute best hugs in the whole wide world. He had green-blue eyes that lit up when he smiled-”

“Just like me!”

“Just like you.” You pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Your dad showed me what love is. And when I had to go, somebody up there,” You pointed to the stars, “wanted to make sure I could pass that love onto someone else. So they gave me you.” You were both silent for a while, Kayla drinking in your words and you trying to keep your emotions in check. 

“Tell me something new, mom. Please?” She had heard all of this before, but she never could get enough. In her mind, her dad was a superhero. You thought for a moment. 

“Well, your dad had the best laugh. Even after an exhausting day of fighting bad, bad monsters, he could light up the room. His big brother meant the world to him. And me. We were a real family. He was from Kansas. And his name…” You took a deep breath. “Was Sam.” 

-

Five Years Ago

“Sam look out!” You shouted. He ducked and you shot the shape-shifting bitch in the heart. You watched as the false-Jessica crumpled to the ground. This particular freak had a vendetta against Sam for taking down one of its shape shifting buddies. To get revenge, it took the form of Sam’s dead girlfriend, Jessica. Even after seven years, the memory of her still hurt him more than you could ever know. 

For a while, you both just stood there. Sam was frozen, staring down at the shapeshifter’s body, the loss of what could have been lingering sadly in his eyes. You wanted to reach out to him. To hold him and comfort him so that the memories didn’t become nightmares tonight, even though you knew they would. But you knew that you weren’t what he needed. 

“It wasn’t her.” You said, trying not to look at her. Shape shifter or not, she was beautiful. She had been everything he ever wanted. She was normal. And you knew that he would always love her. 

“I know.” He sighed, finally tearing his eyes away from the body. He walked around it and pulled you into a hug without another word. Just holding you reminded him that he was okay. That even after everything he’d lost, he still had you. 

“Hello!” A voice shouted from the basement. “Could you cut the Nicholas Sparks crap and get me out of here!” You and Sam looked at each other. 

“Dean.” In the heat of the fight, you had honestly forgotten that he was caged up in the basement. 

After freeing Dean, you disposed of the body and headed back to the motel for a much needed shower. Sam let you have dibs, despite Dean’s protests. The boys opted to go grab some take out for dinner, telling you they’d be back soon. 

“You okay?” Dean asked, letting Sam drive since his head was still pounding from getting knocked out. Sam took a deep breath. 

“I will be.” He had you now. 

“Y/N kicked ass today.” Dean noted, giving his brother a look. 

“Yeah.” Sam chuckled. “Yeah she did.” Dean shook his head. 

“Uh oh.” 

“What?”

“That is a dangerous look, Sammy.” Dean turned on the radio and Sam quickly switched it off. 

“What look?” 

“You know what look.” When Sam still didn’t understand, Dean sighed. “You love her.” Sam shifted in his seat. 

“Dean, Y/N and I have been together for almost two years now. Maybe...” Sam kept his eyes on the road, but his mind was only thinking about you. “Maybe I do love her. What’s it to you?” Dean laughed. 

“Just buckle up, Sammy.” Deep down, Dean was afraid for his little brother. Y/N was a survivor. And he knew that she would do anything to keep herself from getting hurt, even if it meant hurting Sam in the process. 

-

Present Day

You wouldn’t have come if you had any other choice. You were so far in over your head that you had nearly gotten Makayla hurt and that couldn’t happen again. You needed the help of the best hunters that you knew. So there you stood, outside a worn down looking building in Lebanon, Kansas. Knocking didn’t work and you knew that you weren’t getting through that massive metal door, so your only option was to wait. Luckily, you had a family friend in Hastings who had chopped a few vampire heads in their hunting glory days watching over Kayla. 

You froze at the sound of a gun cocking. 

“Who are you?” It was a woman’s voice. Maybe you had the wrong hideout. 

“I’m looking for the Winchesters.” Still facing the door, you felt the rifle press against the back of your head. 

“Who. Are. You?” She asked again. 

“I’m an old friend.” 

“What do you want with Sam and Dean?” She pressed the rifle a little harder into your skull. 

“Who are you?” You challenged. “How do you know Sam and Dean?” You moved to turn around, but you were knocked out cold as she slammed the butt of the rifle into the back of your head. 

When you woke up, you were tied to a chair in what looked like a kitchen. 

“What the hell…” You groaned, your head aching. A woman was standing in front of you- presumably the one that gave you the concussion. 

“I got you in passed the wardings, so I’m assuming you’re human or some kind of creature.” 

“I’m a hunter.” 

“Even if that is true, what do you want with the Winchesters?”

“I need their help taking care of a nest of vampires.” The more you looked at her, the more familiar her face looked. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” She just narrowed her eyes. 

“Sam and Dean will be back any minute so they can figure this out.” She sighed and walked out of the kitchen. 

“Are you just going to leave me here?” You shouted in annoyance. You didn’t have time for this. You didn’t like being away from Makayla. She had grown up as one tough little girl, but you knew she got scared when you were gone for too long. Thinking of your daughter, you felt a sense of dread wash over you. You were going to have to tell him. But how could you? How do you tell Sam Winchester that he’s had a daughter for the past four years? 

The loud clanging sound of the bunker door opening pulled you out of your planning. You heard Dean’s voice echo down the hall. 

“Mom! We’re back!” Wait… Mom? “Well, I’m back, Sam went to get more coffee, but I think he’s secretly buying conditioner.” 

“Dean, we have a small problem.” You heard your captor tell him before her voice dropped to a whisper. 

“You tied up a girl in our kitchen!” Dean exclaimed and she told him to keep his voice down. He appeared in the doorway a few seconds later. He froze when he saw you, his face changing from worried to pissed. 

“Hey Dean.” You greeted, giving him an awkward smile. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” He growled. 

“Can we talk after you untie me?”

“I don’t think I want to.” 

“Dean!” With an aggravated huff, he moved behind you to undo your constraints. “That woman is your mother?”

“It’s a long story that I really don’t feel like explaining to you.” You wiggled your wrists free and stood up, swaying slightly from the dizziness. Dean crossed his arms. “You need to leave.”

“I need your help.” 

“I don’t care.” The last time he was this mad at you was the last time you saw him. You would never forget the look of disgust on his face before he got in the impala and drove away. “You can’t be here when Sam gets back.” 

“Dean, you know I wouldn’t be here if I had a choice.” You pleaded. You didn’t blame him for hating you. You broke his number one rule. You hurt his little brother. Before he could respond, you both heard the bunker door again. 

“Dean, why is there another car outside-” Sam started to ask, his words catching in his throat when he walked into the kitchen. “Y/N.” He gasped, his eyes going soft. 

“She was just leaving.” Dean gave you a hard stare. 

“Sam I-”

“What are you doing here?” Sam stood up straighter, pushing his emotions aside, his eyes turning hard like his brother’s. 

“I know that I have no right to be here.” 

“No. You don’t.” His jaw clenched as he resisted the urge to throw his arms around you. Five years since ditching him at a motel in Missouri, why show up now?

“But I need you.” You tried to keep calm, but so many thoughts were bombarding your already pounding head. “I need your help with a hunt.” 

“Why the hell would we help you?” Dean scoffed, getting angrier and angrier by the second. Sam just looked hurt. 

“This is just about a hunt?” He shook his head. He was stupid to think you would come for anything else. 

“Look, I wouldn’t have tracked you two down if I thought I could find anyone else. But everyone knows the Winchesters are the best hunters around.” You had to drop your pride and just say it. “I’m in over my head here, Sam.”

“I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but that sounds like a you problem. Not an us problem.” Dean motioned for you to leave, but you stood your ground. 

“Sam, please.” You were almost tempted to get on your knees and beg, but your phone started to ring. “Damn it.” You muttered, answering to a worried sounding Naomi. 

“You better get back here, Y/N.” She whispered into the receiver. You could hear Makayla singing along to the radio. 

“Are you driving?” 

“There was a group of men I don’t know at my house so I’m taking Kayla to a motel run by a friend of mine. You better hurry up with those hunting pals and come and get her. She’ll be safer with three of you than just me.” 

“They’re going to need a little more convincing, Naomi.” You hissed, feeling Sam and Dean’s eyes burning into you. She sighed. 

“Well one of them’s her daddy, isn’t he?” 

“Naomi-”

“You’ll have to tell him one way or another. Just get them up here.” She hung up without giving you a chance to argue. You turned back to the brothers. 

“I need you to come to Hastings.” 

“Like hell-” Dean started but Sam interrupted him. 

“Why?” The way he looked at you made you feel like something heavy was weighing on your chest. You couldn’t breathe, let alone tell him about Makayla. 

“I… I can’t tell you.” Before Dean could explode on you, you continued. “I have to show you.” 

“No, no way. I am not driving an hour just to-”

“Okay.” Sam agreed, earning a very irritated glare from his brother. Dean’s eyes darted between the two of you. He ran his hand down his face. 

“Fine. Fine! But I am driving.” 

-

You rode in silence. You offered to take your own car, but Dean insisted on you riding with them. He probably thought you would just cut and run again. So you were forced to endure an hour of agonizing, angry silence. They had told their mother- yeah, their dead mother who was now kicking your ass- that they would be back soon, so it was just the three of you. Dean wouldn’t even turn on the radio. Sam couldn’t look at you. 

You shouldn’t have come. You should have found another hunter- anyone else. The little voice in your head suggested maybe this was just an excuse. A reason to see him again. You had to remind yourself that you were here for Makayla. You would do anything if it meant keeping her safe. But how were you going to tell him?

You arrived at the motel before you could really think of a plan. Naomi said she was in room 6 and she met you outside, thankfully. 

“Is she okay?” You asked quietly. Naomi nodded, eyeing the two men getting out of the car behind you. 

“She’s inside now watching old Scooby-Doo reruns.” She pulled you aside. “So what did he say?” 

“I haven’t told him.” You gulped. Her eyes widened. 

“Well, honey, you better think of something fast.” She motioned to Dean and Sam, who were now walking towards the door. 

“So what is it? What do you have to show us?” Dean huffed. Sam just watched you with curious eyes. 

“Okay, there’s something I need to talk to you about before I open this door.” You took a deep breath, trying to come up with a plan. 

“Mommy!” And there goes the plan. Makayla ran out of the door and latched to your leg. Sam and Dean froze. You bit your lip, putting a hand on her head. 

“Guys, this is Makayla.” You picked her up. Dean’s confusion started to morph into understanding as he looked at her dark hair and bright eyes. You couldn’t read Sam’s face. “Makayla, this is Dean. And this...” You felt terrified tears spring to your eyes. “Is Sam.”

-

Continue to Part Two

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto;

Supernatural: @desimarie12; @deandreamernp; @vicmc624​; @halesandy​

Sam Winchester: @theamuz

[theycallmequeenie]

Not Strong enough to let go

Gabriel x Reader One Shot

Note: Gif not mine. Credit to the original creator/ owner which I believe is @astralgabriel but I may be incorrect. Kinda AU, established Gabriel x Reader romantic relationship. Established Reader x Winchester friendship. Set in season 13. Cannon level violence. Word count is at roughly 2140.

 Master List

Y/N had known the Winchesters for a couple of years now and through them she had been introduce to Gabriel. The pair had hit it off from the start and were now inseparable. Y/N before joining the Winchesters had studied theology which seemingly gave her an edge on dealing with some of the things the hunter’s life had to deal with and gave her and Gabriel something to talk about and bond over in a sense. She would always take down meticulous notes anytime Gabriel would finally open up about his family or his time in heaven.

Gabriel found some joy in talking with Y/N about the past. This was something that never happened with him before, He was at ease around her and he noted to himself that for him wasn’t a usual thing for him ever. This feeling of easiness and comfort was enjoyable to him which helped him decide that hanging around the bunker wasn’t such a terrible idea. Staying would in turn move his relationship with Y/N along, which was something he truly desired for the first time since he was with Kali and would give him a chance to get to know his nephew, by Lucifer, Jack. Something he thought was a nifty bonus.

Y/N was in the bunker’s library reading something to help the Winchester brothers find a way to reopen the portal to the ‘Apocalypse World’ so that they could save their mom. She was trying to find even hint of an idea of how to help. As she was sitting with her back to the rest of the bunker sort of in her own little world, Gabe decided to check on her and in return he startled her and luckily was able to catch the flying book that was previously in her hands.

Gabe sheepishly chuckled, “Sorry Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to scare ya.” He lowered himself just enough to wrap his arms around Y/N’s shoulders as she sat in the chair trying to calm her racing heartrate. “Since we have the place to ourselves, I thought maybe me and my Special Girl could maybe get some alone time together, what do ya say Babes?”  He waggled his eyebrows as he spoke but frowned when he saw her shake her head no.

She sighed as she shook her head in response to his offer. She knew that frustrated him to no end and she felt terrible about it. For a few weeks now that had been the same answer to his same question. She was focused on the task that was given to her and she would slave over the lore books to the point of exhaustion. She would stumble to their shared room nap for a few hours and do it all over again. She knew it was worrying Gabe, but she also knew it had to be done. The longer it took to find answers the more of a chance that they weren’t going to find Mary alive and well. “I’m sorry Gabe but if I don’t do this research who will? We still need answers and the boys are off in a hunt…”

Gabe stopped her before she could continue annoyed and slightly angered. He was really feeling rejected by her in that aspect lately and had finally had enough. He did his best to reign in as much of his anger at the situation as he could but some of it seeped through into his words and his tone. “I don’t know, maybe the two whose mother is trapped over there?! They are using you as their research bitch, Y/N! Can’t you see that?” His whiskey colored eyes blazed with all his pent-up emotion. “Or are you using their research as an excuse because you don’t want me anymore?” He almost whispered, the thought of the woman that he was so in love with had possible fallen out of love with him crushed him to the core.

Seeing the pain in his eyes broke her heart. “Gabe. That is so far from the truth and you should know that. Hell, you are basically all I think about. All you ever need to do is read my mind if you feel any doubt about my feelings for you.” She stood and placed her forehead to his and focused all her energy on making him feel her love she held for him. She wanted it to wrap around him like his wings would often wrap around her in the times she needed comforted. “I know we have been up to our necks in it lately and I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting you, but Gabe, I am to the point that I feel guilty for needing sleep because it takes time away from possibly finding what we need to get her home. I’m sorry…” Her voice cracked at her last two words and she walked away from the archangel, leaving him essentially speechless.

He watched as Y/N stormed off toward their room and jumped slightly as he heard the door slam shut. “Okay, how is this my fault?!” He exclaimed, as he stomped back to their room to try and talk to her. “C’mon, Sugar. Talk to me.” He spoke as he opened the door expecting to see her curled up on their bed but instead, he saw her quickly packing her go bag. He frowned deeply. “You’re leaving…” It was meant as a question but came out as more of a statement almost feeling rejected again.

Looking up from what she was doing she shook her head no once again. “No, Feathers. We are leaving. Sam called they need our help. Dean got hurt and is on the shelf. He needs a couple extra sets of hands. Hunters work is never finished, Handsome.” She frowned seemingly a little disappointed. As she walked by him, she put her hand on his forearm. “Looks like Willy Wonka and cuddling will have to wait, again.”

Gabriel was pleasantly surprised at her words and thought, ‘Hey at least she was considering more than just napping in here for three hours and running back to that Dad damn library again.’ He smiled and followed Y/N out to her car. “Alright. Let’s go gank this sucker so we can get back here and get our snuggle on.”

The two drove the few hours to meet up with Sam and the injured Dean and listened to Sam filled them in on what happened and what they were hunting. Seems they underestimated a nest of vampires and one of them had gotten the drop on Dean which resulted in a concussion and him having to sit the rest of the hunt out. So, they sat and planed it all out and waiting for night to come.

As it started getting dark Y/N, Sam, and Gabriel piled into the Impala and headed toward the nest’s location Y/N and Gabriel were in the back seat together leaving Sam in the front by himself to drive. Gabriel insisted that she sat with him. They held onto each other’s hands the entire drive there. He knew Y/N still had some doubts about her hunting abilities and was doing his best to help her psych herself up for the battle that lay ahead of the three of them.

Sam put the impala in park and cleared his throat to let the two know they were there. Y/N got out of the back seat first and met Sam at the trunk where he handed her a machete and made sure she was ready for the coming battle. With a nod and a glance over her shoulder to make sure Gabriel was right behind her they made their way into the nest and started fighting.

Sam had managed to kill two vampires so far and Y/N managed to get one but was tussling with another that happened to be three times the size of her.  Sam went to help her when one jumped on his back and Gabriel was fighting another vampire leaving Y/N to fend off the large vampire by herself. She was losing the fight. The Vampire had managed to get several solid hits in on her and knocking her machete out of her grasp. The vampire that was fighting her pinned her to the wall with one hand forcing a terrified squeak out of her throat and picking up the blade in his other hand. Gabriel looked up in time to watch the monster shove the machete into Y/N’s abdomen. He saw her eyes go wide from the shock of being run through with her own blade.

Gabriel smites the vampire he was fighting and yells to Sam, who had just finished beheading the vampire that he was fighting with. Sam yells “No!” Gabriel snaps his fingers and the vampire that stabbed Y/N disintegrates on the spot. Before Sam knows it, Gabe is next to Y/N cradling her trying to heal her, but it wasn’t working for some reason which was only adding to Gabriel’s panic.

“No no no no… You gotta stay with me, Love. Please don’t leave me, Sugar.” There were tears in his voice as he kept trying to heal Y/N but to no avail. He couldn’t figure out why, he had never not been able to heal her before. He sent up a silent prayer to his father asking him for help, but he knew it was all for naught. As he cradled his dying love to him, he did his best to contain his emotions, but his eyes were betraying him. He started murmuring to her softly in Enochian because he knew it would bring her comfort.

Y/N whimpered softly against him fighting back a cough, “Gabe. It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” She had to pause to take a few ragged breaths before continuing, “Gabriel, I need to tell you this before…”

Y/N had to pause again but this time Gabriel tried to shush her, “Baby save your strength, okay? You don’t need to tell me anything. I’m going to get you beck to the motel room and we are going to get you patched up and everything is going to be just peaches and cream.” He looked to Sam and nodded silently telling him that he would see him back at the motel and disappeared whit Y/N.

Gabriel arrived with a dying Y/N in his arms about the same time Sam got back to the motel. Sam somehow made land speed records to be there. Dean jumped up despite the concussion. Gabe laid Y/N down on the bed that wasn’t occupied though he stayed close to her. He tried in vain to heal her would again. Though he knew deep down it wasn’t going to work.

As Sam started to explain to his brother what transpired, Gabriel felt Y/n weakly clutch his hand to get his attention. She knew her time was drawing close and she could see the reaper in the corner of the room waiting for her. She mustered her last bit of energy to speak to Gabriel.

“Gabriel…” She gasped for air, “You need to hear this.” She paused again feeling weaker and weaker by the second. “I love you, Feathers.” As she forced the words out, she heard the Reaper speak in a gentle voice to her telling her it was her time to go. Y/N reluctantly went with the Reaper that had come to collect her, as she crossed to the other side her body went limp in Gabriel’s arms.

Gabriel felt her leave him and let out a pained scream the likes of which the Winchesters never heard. Sam and Dean simply watched as the archangel before them mourn the loss of his love in awe. Gabriel wept openly over the loss of Y/N as he held her now lifeless body to him.

Sam and Dean let him have an hour with Y/N’s body before they suggested moving on with the process of her passing and getting her Hunter’s Funeral in the works.  Which Gabriel didn’t react positively to, but they knew that was going to be the case. It took them some time to talk Gabe into going through the proper motions, but it was done and it about broke Gabriel to say goodbye to her in that final way. Sam told Gabe that they had found a spell to open the portal to get their mom back. Gabe gave them a bitter laugh but said he was in. He figured that would be an easy way out of his pain that wouldn’t offend his father. He was going with the boys to Apocalypse World with no plan in coming back…

The End

[murderingpieceofshit]

The Wrath of God, Ch. 1: Roadtrip

by @finney13s

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: General, M/M Fandoms: Preacher (TV) Relationships: Proinsias Cassidy/Eccarius Characters: Proinsias Cassidy, Eccarius, Jesse Custer Additional Tags: Domestic fluff Author's notes: This story is still evolving. Rating, warnings, characters, relationships and tags are due to change as the story continues so check them before reading.

"The Wrath of God" is the 2nd part of "The Chronicles of Cassidy and Eccarius"

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]

Summary: Even though Eccarius had solemnly swore that he wouldn't try to pursue Les Enfants or killing people (or other vampires for that matter) Cassidy wasn't still fully convinced. It wasn't guaranteed that Eccarius wouldn't get tempted to fall to his old ways. Cassidy had to come up with something to get Eccarius distracted of his temptations and concentrate on something else.

[A short clip below the cut as the whole chapter won't fit into one post here, read the full story on AO3]

Raindrops drummed the roof in the hot New Orleans night. Cassidy and Eccarius were laying in their extra large coffin after having sex, spent and sweaty listening to the rainfall. Cassidy was resting his head on Eccarius' chest and playing with Eccarius' black hair.

”Ay, what do you think if we took off for a while?” Cassidy asked. ”Where would we go?” Eccarius replied sleepily. ”New Orleans has everything we could ever need. Why would we want to leave anywhere? Not to mention it is a nuisance to travel like normal people when you could travel among the stars...” ”Why don't ya first listen to what I have to say and then make up yer mind!” Cassidy interrupted annoyed. Eccarius turned his gaze to Cassidy and his face softened. “I apologize, my love. Please, go on.” ”I was thinking that we could take a road trip. You know, you and me” Cassidy said and paused. Then he continued: ”And Jesse and Tulip.” Eccarius frowned. ” With Jesse and Tulip? I thought they both hated me for stealing you from them?” ”No they don't hate you for that. They never did. And besides, you didn't steal me from anyone” Cassidy said and got up to sit and turned to look at Eccarius. ”But they're... vary of you. You have killed a lot of people and you haven't been the most reliable person in the history of mankind, you know. They do have a good reason for not trusting you." Eccarius turned his head to look out the window and sighed. After a while he said: "I suppose I deserve that.” They stayed in silence for a moment, then Eccarius continued turning his head back to Cassidy: “Maybe they could change their mind if they spent some time with me? Got to know the new me?" ”That's more like it”, Cassidy said and smiled. ”We could leave tomorrow morning.” Eccarius' eyes grew wide. "Tomorrow morning? Are you mad?" he asked astonished. Then he narrowed his eyes and continued with a smirk: "You cheeky man. Tell me you haven't planned all this without consulting me first?” ”Erm... I kinda thought this would be a nice surprise, ay?” Cassidy said sheepishly. ”Oh well, I guess we don't have anything better to do” Eccarius sighed. “Come here, my love” he said and pulled Cassidy back into his arms. They laid there for a moment snuggling. Suddenly Eccarius froze. ”What am I going to wear? What are WE going to wear? We can't get any new clothes by tomorrow morning. I have to find something to wear for the trip!” he moaned and got up shuffling to his wardrobe naked and opened the massive doors fully open. Cassidy sat back up. “Well, at least the scenery is nice” he chuckled admiring Eccarius' buttocks. “Cassidy, this is serious” Eccarius shot back rummaging around his closet “I have an image to maintain. I can't just go out there, I need to plan these things!” Cassidy dropped himself back down and laughed: "You're insufferable!” “Well, you do like my sexy pirate look, don't you, hmm?” Eccarius replied and looked at his image in the mirror holding hangers with two coats in front of him and trying to decide which one he would choose.

Cassidy had fell asleep at some point and woke up to the smell of fresh coffee. Which was odd as Eccarius didn't usually make coffee. His go-to breakfast was a chalice of blood, first warmed to human body temperature in bain-marie. He was very specific about it so coffee made Cass curious. He got up, put on Eccarius' frilled black morning gown which was too short for him - but he didn't care as it smelled like Eccarius - and went downstairs.

Eccarius was sitting by the kitchen table dressed on point and making notes and taking sips from a steaming mug of coffee. ”Well, good morning sunshine” he said cheerily and toasted his coffee. ”I have packed our luggage and we are ready to go.” ”What the hell do you mean?” Cassidy muttered trying to wipe the remains of deep sleep from his eyes. ”We are fully equipped for all occasions and any weather” Eccarius said and got up. ”I just made final checks and we are ready to go.” ”Christ. Did you sleep at all last night?" Cassidy said and poured himself a large mug of coffee. "You know you get a tad hyper when you don't get yer full night sleep" he continued and turned to lean on the counter. Eccarius got up and spoke as he walked to the hall. ”I was up all night making sure you and I have outfits for all possible situations. We do have to reuse some costumes in some occasions but I'm willing to do that this time as we probably won't stay in the same location for long. Am I right?” Then from the hall he yelled: ”Besides, I am not hyper. I am, and I am using your own words here, a highly functioning maniac." ”Yes that's exactly what I'm worried about” Cassidy sighed to himself closing his eyes and took a sip of his coffee. Then he shook his head and thought as if to remind himself, once again, why he was there in the first place “I have chosen this man myself and he comes with flaws 'n frills 'n all. At this time of day it is mostly flaws, but I have chosen that myself, too.” Eccarius came back to the kitchen and stood at the doorway. "So when do the chariots arrive?" he asked excitedly. Cassidy took a good look at him and frowned. ”Hold on. Yer seriously wearing that for a road trip?” he asked when he saw Eccarius wearing his best golden embroidered silk suit. ”Yes, why should I not?” Eccarius asked baffled and looked at himself. ”It's kinda in the name of the thing, you know – road trip. You drive a car on a road. Yer going to sit in the hot backseat for a long time. Are ya sure you can manage it in that? Not getting too hot and bothered?” Cassidy winked and smirked. "Well, if I remember last night correctly you did state that you enjoy my scenery without any clothes." Eccarius smiled. "And I can take my top coat off if it makes you feel any better. But if I got to worry about you getting all excited over it I might then just have to keep it on" he smirked and shook his finger at Cassidy. ”Ay, come 'ere my pirate man” Cassidy said softly, put down his mug and spread his hands. Eccarius walked to Cass and they hugged tightly. "You know, I had never a proper wardrobe before. Now I have more than ten sets of every possible rag there is and I don't even know if I'll ever have the possibility to wear 'em all." Cassidy laughed. "Well, sir, I must show my love somehow and let the world know that you are all mine" Eccarius replied and kissed Cass.

[Read the the rest on AO3]

[eddies-trailer-babe]

Who Am I Truly: Chapter 1

Summary: You were the third and final child of the John Winchester, just another one of his flings after Mary gone wrong, but what John didn’t know was your mother who was a very powerful witch and close with Rowena. Naturally your mother was hunted and killed, which let Rowena take you in and teach you a little magic of your own.

Pairings: Reader x Claire Novak(eventual)

Requested: At first no, then yes

Warning/s: Violence, cursing, hints at sex

Word Count:

Other characters: You, Annaleise, Rowena, Sam, Dean, Jody

Authors Note: Sorry this is a very short first chapter, hope you enjoy it!

**I don’t own any gifs or characters I put in except the reader, Annaleise and my original idea for the series*

“Good, very good, you need to work on the pronunciation.”

The Scottish drawl of Rowena broke you from your concentration. Working on spells this week was very taxing, usually you would be working on theory, but Rowena said that it would be useful to start learning spells now that you had just turned 17. The late teenage years were (according to Rowena) the most important ages for a witch to learn how to utilise magic and harness it so that it could be properly used.

“Ro, can’t we take a break? I think I’m dying.” You sighed, turning to look at her. Rowena just chuckled. 

“You aren’t dying dearie, you’re just trying to procrastinate.” 

You faked shock. “I am doing no such thing!” Again, Rowena chuckled.

“You are. Now again.” She said.

You sighed, turning back to the bowl filled with ingredients and the table with the spell book, and began to recite the spell.

“Ignis, ignis, responde mihi omnis vocationem, adolebitque donec vos, me placent, fiat semper!” A powerful blast of fire burst out of your hand, making a big whoosh sound. You were astounded, this was your first time perfecting that spell. 

Hearing clapping coming from behind you, you turned and saw Rowena with a wide smile on her face. “Didn’t I tell you it was just the pronunciation? I’ve never been more proud, I think you deserve a reward, don’t you think so dear?” 

You nodded your head profusely, you loved Rowena’s rewards. Your first reward for perfecting a spell for the first time was a trip to Paris, your second reward was for the first time you performed a spell on a live person and that one was a $2000 ruby necklace. So it was safe to say that you loved your rewards, but that doesn’t mean that you’re a spoiled brat. Rowena still tells you stories of your mother and how hard she had it growing up. She’s always talking about how you only get good things in life by doing good things, and how the power never went to her head, and ofcourse you didn’t want to disappoint your mother.

You followed Rowena as she opened the door of your ‘training room’ as she called it, which in reality was just a soundproofed room with shelves and bookcases full of potions, spell books and ingredients. Exiting the training room Rowena tells you to go change into appropriate outing wear, which you do without complaint.

Once you finished getting changed you quickly walked to the living room. ‘Ladies don’t run,’ as said by Rowena. When you arrived in the living room Rowena looked you up and down to make sure you were wearing something to her standard. She nodded her approval and she started to head out the door.  You followed her eagerly, excited for your reward.

~SIOUX FALLS, SOUTH DAKOTA~

“Sam, Dean, could you two not stuff your faces? I can see every single bit of food you’re chewing.” Jody said exasperatedly. She’d had a long day at work and Sam and Dean stopped by as they were about to embark on a hunt, and she did not need to hear their chewing noises or see what was in their mouths. 

“Sorry Jody.” Both men looked up, speaking at the same time through mouths crammed with food. There was a silence as they corrected their chewing habit. 

“So boys, where are you headed?” Jody broke the silence.  

“Columbus, Nebraska,” replied Sam, “Witch case, we think, unexplained activity coming from a warehouse just outside the city line.  Some people have been posting help ads for witch hunters, which is a little weird, so we thought we’d check it out.”

Jody nods and pauses her movement, thinking about what Sam had just said. After a moment of thought, she looks at the boys with a confused expression. “Help ads for hunters? Are you both stupid? You realise this could be a trick right?”

“Of course we realise that Jodes," Dean said, swallowing what was in his mouth and looking up,"but there hasn’t been a witch case for 6 months and that in itself is weird. Maybe this is a witch that’s been killing other witches, we don’t know, but we want to check it out,” 

“Alright if you think it’s worth checking out go for it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Jody is serious for a moment, but then a smile breaks out and the boys relax. She continues, “You boys know that if you need any help, you have my number, and Donna’s.”

Sam and Dean nod and give their thanks. “Thanks Jody, we should probably head out now, wanna be there before sunrise.” 

Jody nods and gets up to hug the boys. They thank her for the food, exit the house and got into the Impala and drive off toward Columbus.

~COLUMBUS,OHIO~

“Thank you Amber, you've been a brilliant help. I’ll make sure your husband gets what he deserves. Yes, nice doing business with you dearie,” Rowena hangs up the phone and growls under her breath, you wonder what she could’ve been told on the phone, so you walk up to her cautiously as you know what she can be like when she’s mad. “Um Ro, what’s wrong,” Rowena turns,

“Well dear, I’ve just been told that the bloody Winchesters bloody car has been spotted coming into town and that has ruined our plan of staying here, so we’ll need to leave,” you can’t believe it, after years of relocating because of hunters you and Rowena finally found someplace to stay and now it might be taken away again, no, that will not happen, but you still have questions, 

“Ro, who are the Winchesters?” Rowena smiles slyly and starts her story, 

“The Winchesters, where to even start? Ah I know, those two brothers my dear are hunters, famous ones to, have been hunting’ since they were lads, they kill creatures like werewolves, vampires, even witches like us, even if we have done nothing wrong, they just see us all as abominations, they have tried to kill me countless times, it was their father who killed your mother.” You gasped, you knew your mother was killed but hearing that the man who killed your mother was famous! Famous for killing innocent creatures and people. It made you blood boil. With this in mind you walked up to Rowena and said sternly,

“They will not hurt you or me Rowena, I’ll make sure they won’t. And they will not drive us away from our home, not this time.” Rowena smiled and caressed your hair, 

“I know you won’t. Now let us discuss how we’ll make them go away for a while.” Rowena said with a smirk.

~MOTEL DEL CONS, COLUMBUS, OHIO~

“So get this,” Sam started, walking into the bedroom from the kitchen of the motel he and Dean were currently occupying,

 “I’ve been emailing a few other motels in the area about occupants that have stood out to them and a few of them recall seeing a red headed, scottish lady, fancy dressed and walking around with a young girl of about 17,” Dean looked up from the television that was playing Dr Sexy, he stood up, “Think it might be Rowena?” Dean questioned, Sam replied,

“Might be, we haven’t seen her in awhile, it’s almost unusual now to not see her for a least two months, might be stirring something up, seeing as there is a young girl with her, might be training another witch, could be dangerous for her and knowing Rowena she might be manipulating the poor girl.” Dean replied,

“Could be but there is one unanswered question though,” Sam looked at Dean, “Who's the girl?”

TAGLIST

@phoenix-draws77   @tiffy119  @anotherwaywardsister

[goldeneyedgirl]

Jaliceweek20 Day 1

Against a Wall Part 2

Jaliceweek20 Day 1: Human/Vampire

Words: 6264

Notes: It is DONE. JALICEWEEK IS DONE. I am tired, so I’ll do a wrap up tomorrow. I’m honestly not sure how happy I am with this ending - I’ll write more notes tomorrow once sleep had been acquired but there still might be a third enormous rewrite.

I’m just so excited I finished EVERY SINGLE PROMPT.

Warnings for: suicidal ideation.

—

Nineteen.

There was a shoebox under his bed with a bunch of stuff in it, that he’s collected over his life. Stuff that was special - Sorates’ collar, a rock shaped like a dog, the rubber spider his grandfather bought him from the dime store. And the last thing he put in it was an unopened back of Skittles.

He wonders where that box is now.

—

Things are hard to remember. The doctors say his memory should return, with time, and everything will stop feeling like someone scooped them all out of his brain and threw them up in the air like confetti.

He remembers… Ava. No, not Ava. Yes, Ava, his sister.

She did something.

Ava lit the fuse that had been dangling over the family for six years. Wasn’t Ava’s fault. Never blamed her. He hurt for her.

Louise found the bit of paper and freaked out, yes. It was Ava’s paper. Evidence. And Louise was shrieking. And Jerry heard.

Everybody heard. He remembers making Flo and Hettie stay in the kitchen, hide under the table if you need to (the screen door is banging, Lydia is gone like a puff of air at the first sign of trouble; wish she’d taken Flo and Hettie this time). Hettie had already been sniffling, and he’d left the kitchen.

Bang.

He’d gotten between Ava and their father.

He would have killed them both; that look in his eye. There wasn’t love or affection in that gaze. There wasn’t recognition of his children. There was just rage. That’s a look he wished he could forget; of all the things lost in the confetti, he wants to know why that moment that Jerry looked at him and Ava (Ava was bleeding, can’t remember why) is still there?

Then it’s a blur. Then there’s nothing.

Then he joins the military. He walks away entirely, with only what he can carry and doesn’t leave any parting words because there’s nothing to be said.

No. Something happens before that.

Ava packed her car, yes, packed in Hettie and Flo, suitcases and boxes, and at the last minute Lydia materialises into the passenger seat, whilst their mother tries to … beg? Yell? Ava’s face is black and blue and bandaged, and there was someone he knew who could fix that, with Mary Poppins’ bag…

Then Ava drives off, and their mom is crying, and he walks straight to the nearest recruitment office even though he doesn’t graduate for another three months because once the bomb has gone off, there’s no taking it back.

—

What was the bomb again?

Bomb. Which bomb?

Ava’s, not the one that… not the other one.

Paperwork from Planned Parenthood. There was a baby, but Ava’s already raising her sisters, so she sucked it up, stole $500 from their father’s study, and took care of it. She’d thrown the money back in their father’s face, money she got from her own account, and their father had punched her so hard he broke her nose and her orbital bone, and then it gets blurry again.

His body stings and aches and itches. He recites all the swears he knows in his head, and a few he doesn’t, and he wishes everything would put itself right again.

Bang.

—

The other bomb. That’s why he’s here, in the VA hospital. The one that was strapped to a little boy who ran up to one of the guys in his unit, grinning and clutching a soccer ball to hide the shape obscuring his torso.

Bang.

Bombs don’t sound like ‘bang’ either. They are a vacuum of noise and pain and detritus and fire and he now knows the sound-taste-smell of roasted human fresh.  They are wiping out all but two members of a unit and a little boy who didn’t have a choice or an idea of what he was getting into.

The images are burnt onto his brain forever; when he closes his eyes, all he sees is a face roast black and splitting open to reveal the ruby red of the blood and muscle underneath, leaking clear and yellow fluid.

Empty, black eye sockets staring, just sticky blackened holes.

Bodies arched and twisted in pain, looking like blacked trees and burnt bark until you remember where you are and what you’re looking at and some of that burnt bark flesh is your own.

He wishes those memories would disappear.

Less than a year in the army, and already medically discharged. So much for an escape plan. Has to be a record, shortest army career in Whitlock family history. Shorter even than Uncle Wyatt’s, but Wyatt was smart enough to die outright, so it’s just a damn tragedy instead of a humiliation. He knows how the game is played.

Fuckin’ Whitlock curse comes for all of them eventually.

The skin graft hurts like hell, and the medication is still scrambling him, and even when the doctors have pulled out every last stitch, he still looks like some kind of monster pieced together from leftovers. There are still scars, dozens of scars. He asks when they’ll go, but the doctors just brush over his question - plastic surgery is the most solid of answers, but nobody wants to commit to an answer, so he guess he has it. This is how he looks now.

They fill his pockets with pills and send him on his way with their gratitude for his service, as if he has somewhere to be, someone to go to. He’s got nearly ten months of army pay just sitting there - minus a chunk that confuses him until he remembers he’s been sending money to Ava, a neat row of transactions he’s simply labelled ‘miss you’.

Should’ve sent her more.

He stays in Houston, doesn’t bother going home. There’s nothing there for him - his sisters are gone; Ava’s in Austin for college with the girls. Ava, who is somehow juggling three sisters, a college degree, probably a part-time job, and all her own pain.

Maybe he should go to Ava. But the idea of dragging himself all the way to Austin, to sleep on a couch or something, and have his sisters see this ruined version of him makes him want to hide.

The idea of his shaking hands, and the crisscross of scars, and limp being seen by sweet Hettie, dear Flo, sharp Lydia, and tired Ava; knowing they’ll hear his uneven pacing, his wild panic, his endless nightmares makes him stay away - he can’t even pick up the phone. He failed them so many times, and he can’t expect them to put him back together now. Ava’s got nothing left for herself, the others are too young; Lydia’d be graduating this year, she doesn’t need a fuckin’ ghoul of a brother hovering in the background after everything she went through. Better they remember him as he was, as the name on a receipt, that whatever he is now.

His mother is probably still there; working too many hours at the VA hospital and burning toast and being tired. She wrote to him once or twice after he left, and he hated how those letters made him feel. They were all messy apologies and excuses and blame and misery framed in the day-to-day monotony of her life. He felt her hollowness at being left, the mother of five with no children in her home. She should have been helping Lydia pick a prom dress, arranging her graduation party and college tours; driving up to visit Ava at college; sending him inedible cookies; dropping Flo off on her first date, and spoiling baby Hettie even though she’s almost in middle school. But she couldn’t. Because they’d all walked away.

He didn’t write back. He was too angry then, and now he’s … nothing. She feels like a ghost to him, like she died the first day Jerry hit him, and she slowly faded away every Tuesday after that.

And Ava’s the only name on his paperwork, for next of kin and power of attorney shit; and that’s only so she could have his money when he was gone.

His father’s still in Sheldon, he has no doubt of that. He hopes Jerry dies in that empty old house, abandoned by everyone he should have loved better, cared for better and surrounded only by the bottles that he let salt the earth and poison his family.

His uncles are still there, as reliable as the rising and setting of the sun, most likely ready and waiting to jeer at Jasper for his wasted attempt as a soldier, for his patchwork of skin and scars, for his limp and his confetti memory; to fail so fantastically after ten lousy months. No diploma, no future, no plan.

Not even old enough for a fuckin’ drink.

Still a better shot than Bo, though. Sometimes he wants to ask them, though, to look ‘em in the eye and demand to know what they expected from him - the sole Whitlock boy, the heir to a name that meant sweet fuck-all these days - when all they did was punch him when he was down? That letting a kid get beat up, then get insulted and demeaned and mocked and yelled at… that didn’t create a good man, that didn’t create a happy, successful person. They did everything they damn well could to see him gone, failed, erased and that was before he joined the goddamn army. There was no brotherhood in the Whitlock name. Even if he had gotten out unscathed, he would have run til no one knew him, and he wouldn’t have gone home again.

But he didn’t, and here he is having bitter arguments with old men who aren’t even there.

He sits in his motel room, takes his pills with water from the bathroom, and occasionally remembers to find food. He doesn’t sleep well on the hard, musty motel bed; the nightmares come in waves even when his brain is like mush from the medications. A car door slamming, a yell from the street, the smell of cooking meat - it all sends him skittering, panicking, pacing. He can’t stop moving, and his bad knee swells up and finally he gets his hand on some liquor and he ends up slung into the stained bathtub barely able to think. Definitely not able to stand.

He just wants it to stop.

The mostly-empty bottle hits the grimy tiles and smashes, but he thinks of a girl with amber eyes and a magic bag and a watch that she gave him - hurled at him. He remembers sleeping on a cold, bony shoulder in an alley, her voice sweet and warm.

She was so mad with him that last night. He did end up back behind Dewey’s again, on more than one Tuesday, but he didn’t see her again. And it wasn’t long after that when everything went to hell, so he never got to say goodbye. Say sorry for being a dick.

He can’t quite remember what they were arguing about that last night. Whiskey and valium have chased that memory away, and his head slumps over as he sleeps. Or looses consciousness. Either way, he doesn’t have to exist for awhile, and it suits him just fine.

—

Time passes. He finds a cheaper motel, because there’s a corner of his brain that is somehow still functional and practical, and he knows what money he has has to be stretched. Someone from the VA calls his cellphone and he ignores it. He takes his pills - less than usual, because they’re running out.

His knee hurts.

He breaks a lamp and the mirror after a nightmare, and ends up at urgent care getting his knuckles stitched up by some intern who asks him too many questions.  Tries to give him pamphlets, and he resists the urge to punch the doctor in the face.

The doctor does write him new prescriptions though. That’s helpful. And he gets something to eat at the cafeteria. It starts out as a bad night and ends up being one of those mornings he almost feels human, as long as he doesn’t look in the mirror.

That’s why he picks up the phone when the VA call again.

That’s how he finds himself sitting outside the VA hospital with a paper bag of the shit he left behind. His mother’s letters, his dog-tags, and an extremely broken watch.

“Happy freakin’ birthday.”

He looks at it closely now, more closely than he did when he was given it - even if it was thrown at his head, it was a gift in his mind. The brown leather strap is stained and nearly torn through, and the brass buckle bent. The face is cracked in an almost perfect spiral. The face is mottled cream, with neat gold Roman numerals; several have come loose and rattle along the bottom, along with the minute hand. It no works, and he hopes that the internal gears are still functional.

The watch will need to be repaired professionally, to be taken apart and pieced back together. A new glass face and band, the numerals and hands put back in the rightful place.

He doesn’t even remember wearing it, that last day. He knew he had it with him the entire time, through basic training and everything, but he didn’t remember wearing it. He’d had some chunky digital thing that told him the weather and GPS and shit that had been responsible for the mutilation of his left wrist.

Carefully it into his jacket, Jasper stands and begins the walk back to the motel.

Nineteen, still.

Sometimes, he thinks about going back to Dewey’s, just to see if she ever turns up again, on a Tuesday. For some reason, when he thinks of her - Miss Alice, in her funny clothes, and her lilting voice - he thinks of her exactly how he remembers her, that she is fixed in time and will never change. That he could return to that alley a week, a year, a decade from now, and she will still be there with her bag of tricks and big golden eyes.

He thinks about her a lot. He never knew where she came from, how old she was, why she spent Tuesday nights in an alley with him. He hopes she’s safe, comfortable, and happy.

He hopes she still thinks of him.

Time marches on, and he can see his twentieth birthday rushing up to greet him. He’s done nothing to change his circumstances - the cheapest hotel room, a fistful of pills on an empty stomach, patchwork sleep haunted by corpses. The PTSD special.

He finds a bar that respects his service more than his age, and they’re happy to let him drink himself numb in the corner as long as he doesn’t make trouble, and slips out the back if the cops come round. But even when they do, and get a good look at the scars, at his jacket, at the look in his eyes, they usually just nod and move along. No one asks questions, just counts out his crumpled money and then slides his drink along the bar.

Life doesn’t feel worth much on those nights.

Stumbling back to the motel, drunk and dull, he never notices the footsteps. He just goes to his room, his home, and passes out on a stained bedcover fulling clothed, waiting for the nightmares to kick in.

—

When the nightmares press in on him, and he’s lying on the bed staring at the discoloured popcorn ceiling, all he really wants is to go home again.

Not to Sheldon.

To the ranch.

Before Hettie, before Tuesdays, before everything. Where they buried Socrates under the tree with the treehouse, where he learned to ride, and would catch rabbits, and everything was easy. He still got told off by his father for being such a disappointment, but back then, they still had the family property, so his father wasn’t so angry.

He’s stone cold sober - aside from the Vicodin and Valium rattling around in his stomach - when he decides to go home again. He even stops in at a grimy diner and shovels in a plate of eggs and some coffee before he buys the bus ticket.

He knows the old place never sold; bank couldn’t shift it. Sold some of the land, but the old farmhouse just sits there, rotting. The Whitlock curse strikes again and again, into the heart of everything.

It’s a long trip; only way out there by bus is to go via San Antonio, and then down towards the old farm on another rural bus that only runs a few times a day. And he didn’t think much about how to get from the last bus stop to the old house proper, but some old guy in a truck takes a good hard look at him - his stained jacket, his limp, the scars twisting around his limbs and under his clothes, and offers to take him wherever he’s going.

He’s stiff and sore and hungry, but he doesn’t worry about any of that. The driver’s polite, amicable, doesn’t ask too many questions but gives him the number of the only cab in town for his return trip. He nods his thanks, and begins limping up the old driveway, towards home.

The house is… sad. Not like his memories, of blood red geraniums in the window boxes, and a pile of sneakers and boots in a jumble by the front door. There aren’t any bikes leaning up against the porch railings, either. Hell, the porch has a hole in it, the wooden rotten through. The yard is an overgrown tangle - probably concealing a few snakes.

The treehouse has long since collapsed, the wooden remains jutting out from the overgrown grass like a shipwreck. Socrates’ little grave is probably still there, under it all, with the brick he and Lydia painted his name on. He was a good cat.

He’s not going to go into the house, and now that he’s here, he’s not sure why he came at all. It’s just a house he once lived in, like Sheldon. But there is something peaceful about being back here, sitting on the - thankfully brick - front steps and staring out at the road. No cars come by, neighbours are too far away to matter. It’s just him.

He lets his thoughts float. More than once, he’s wished he’d been able to keep his service weapon, finish the job the bomb started. He thought about other ways - swallowing all his pills till there’s nothing left in the bottle; buying some razor blades and cutting along his seams; finding a motel with rafters he can loop a belt around. But he doesn’t. He hasn’t. He doesn’t know why - the thought is like a mischievous cat looming over his shoulder. The cat with a too-big smile, from Hettie’s books. Sinister yet convincing and trustworthy. But the thought lingers, and right now, he wishes he’d come prepared because … it’s quiet here. It’s quiet and he associates it with good things, and he’s really, really tired.

His VA shrink said that disassociation was a common symptom of PTSD. There were methods of dealing with it, techniques he could use, but he didn’t bother remembering them. Sometimes it was nice not to feel things, to be entirely seperate from himself for awhile.

When he comes back to himself, the afternoon has turned to night, and he’s an idiot sitting outside an abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, in a town with one cab. He swears under his breath, and the two braincells that are still desperately trying to keep him alive blaze into action, as he fumbles for his cellphone.

At least it isn’t dead.

He doesn’t even notice the sound as he dials, but as the phone rings he looks up in confusion, as a woman walks up the drive. She’s small enough for his heart to jump in misguided hope, waiting for that smile, those eyes, and that stupid bag that he placed so much faith in.

Her eyes are red, and her hair is long and brown. Her lips stretch too far like that stupid cat, and she takes the phone from him so gently and crushes it into a find powder. And he wishes he’d stayed drunk and high instead of staying sober and coming back to his childhood home like some kind of fucking book character.

She calls him ‘mi amor’ and apologises for what comes next.

He tries to back away, but stumbles on his bad knee, and when she hurls him back up effortlessly, she dislocates his shoulder and probably breaks his arm, and for a moment his vision swims and he yells, and that is only the very beginning of the pain.

—

In his few lucid moments over the next seventy-two hours, he wonders when he gets to stop suffering. When he finds the end of the tunnel of pain, from Tuesdays behind Dewey’s, to being half-burned alive, to be put back together and drugged senseless to function, to whatever this woman has done to him.

It feels kind of like the bomb did, except like it is taking him slowly. If he could open his eyes, he’d expected himself to be blackened and splitting, like the crust of a volcano.

If he could be sick, he would.

He thinks he screams himself hoarse. He might just think about doing it.

Red eyes watch him the entire time, with the ruby-coloured too-big smile, and if he still believed in god or fate or family curses or anything aside from the slow drip of pain in this veins, he would think she was the devil incarnate.

—

Time passes. He doesn’t know how much, since he woke up in the rotting remains of his family’s home with a burn in his throat, and Maria waiting for him. She’s quick to reassure him of his new status as a god, quick to find him something to quench the burn (the boy is young but strong and bulky; probably a high school football player. Healthy and full of blood and cries for his momma when Jasper half-rips his throat out. She is quick to caress his cheek and to kiss him long and deep and to fuck him in the wreckage of the house.  

Maria’s clan is small - only nine of them counting him. They are suspicious of him, of the way he stares and stays quiet. But Maria is quick to ease any of his own misgivings - newborns are entirely unpredictable, volatile. He is her new pet, her treasure, her mijo.

He loves what he is, truly. He leaves the pill bottles rattling in his pockets in the dirt of the farmhouse floor, and strides confidently after his new mistress. His leg is strong again, and all the scars have melted away into smooth, hard stone. He came to the farm looking for something, and he found it - himself, the way he was always supposed to be. If life had been kinder.

He’s found himself a soldier in another war, but war is a lot easier when you aren’t weighed down with equipment or fear or stupid fucking rules. When winning a battle means glutting yourself on blood, and losing means instant death, and there’s nothing in-between.

They are so fast now, hunting grounds stretch from Monterrey to Corpus Christie to San Antonio.

He refuses to go to Austin but sometimes its hard to remember why. He nearly kills Lucy when she tries to take the others to Austin, and Maria’s lips purse but she says nothing and they go to Laredo instead. They create a few more newborns, but he notices Maria’s attention to him never wavers; they are like pets, whilst he is her devoted prince.

(Later, he’ll find out it was only six god-damned months he lost. That he turned twenty and Lydia graduated somewhere in an Austin high school, and a bunch of people - mostly social workers and VA employees - were looking for him with the fear of the worst. He’d tell them that whatever ‘worse’ was, they weren’t even close.)

They figure out his gift during one furious early battle that leaves his arms and neck littered with bite marks, and they don’t go away. The venom works too fast, the bites are too deep, and he is once again a mess. A monster. His rage ripples around the camp, and everyone huddles in on themselves, and even Maria cowers a little, cooing and trying to settle him.

He makes them afraid, he makes them tremble, he tries to force them into fixing the unfixable.

Maria is so pleased with his gift, he is never punished for his tantrum. And more bite marks layer upon his skin; when he frets over them, with a sneer on his face, she laughs and promises he’ll have many, many more before they are done.

—

Nineteen, always.

Reconnaissance in the back of Houston is required, and Jasper and Maria take a small group with them. Maria is insistent there are others on their lands, and that is a crime of the highest order. They will destroy the newcomers, feed, and return to Monterrey. They each pick a point of Houston, and agree to meet in the centre.

He is ordered to the northeast, and he goes without resistance; he knows soldiering is following orders, and Maria lets his resistance to Austin go unremarked upon.

Most of his human memories are hazy, like they are so very much older than they really are. The streets he stalks are almost familiar, and he keeps his head low - more because of the blazing red of his eyes than any fear of being recognised.

There’s an aged but enticing aroma that he follows, that smells of nice, soft things; not fresh enough to guarantee a confrontation (or execution), but one that is a regular in this part of town.

It’s late enough there are few people in the street, in this working-class part of town. Even the dive bar has gone dark, and only the drunks and shift workers are left stumbling around. It’s not even hard to snag one of the less aware drunks around the wrist and vanish around into the alley with him.

His blood is nothing memorable, and it’s not hard to make the drunk look like he tripped and slashed his neck on a smashed bottle in the alley. He’s good at staging these scenes; at making things look like terrible, despicable accidents.

“Oh, Jasper.”

The words are soft and murmured, and he can’t decide whether they are sad or relieved or something in between. All he knows is that there is a sweet-smelling threat behind him, and he spins around with a snarl.

She’s only as tall as a child, with uneven black hair curling around her cheeks. She’s one of the prettiest girls he has ever seen, with huge amber-coloured eyes that remind him of porcelain dolls. She’s wearing a sky blue sweater a size too big over jeans with stars on the knees, and staring at him with hope and regret.

In the back of his brain, that little bit that is not quite human and not quite animals looks at her hard and breathes in her roses-and-rainwater scent and simply thinks, “Yes. Good.”

But the louder part recognises her as the trail he has been following, the one that Maria wants destroyed. A growl rumbles from within him, and the girl just looks sad.

“I’m so, so sorry Jasper,” she says, still standing there, not the least be defensive. “Carlisle and Edward forced me to stay away once you left, and then I tried to watch you but I lost track of where you were…” Her eyes are shiny, as if she wants to cry. “Do you remember who I am?”

The question hangs in the air between them, his growl fading away as he stares at her.

She steps closer, and he glares at her. The animal brain is getting louder - “Yes-good-yes-good-yes-good.” Her emotions are threatening, mostly sad, and she’s tiny. Nothing bad could be so dainty and pretty.

She’s right in front of him, standing on her toes as she presses her hand to his face. “I’m Alice,” she says simply, and his mind folds itself over and over again in an instant to provide him with an answer to this riddle, to this girl that is so clearly something good and known to him.

And he remembers.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s a stupid fucking decision you’re about to make.”

“At least I didn’t break it worse.”

“Happy freakin’ birthday.”

"They just looked nice. Happy.”

“I’ve come too far to watch you die in this disgusting place,”

“Alice,” he says hoarsely, and his memories of her are clear, sharp. He can remember that one strand of hair that always fell into her face; her ice cold hands roughly patching him up; the constant, lilting companionship of her voice, even when he slept. She is so clear in his mind he wonders how he forgot her in the first place.

Her smile and emotions bloom with joy all at once, and it warms him all the way through. It’s the kind of happiness that eluded him during his human life, and one he has not felt, waking up with this gift that feels like everyone’s emotions are constantly crawling on him. It’s something he wants to wrap himself in like armour.

“I’m so, so sorry,” her fingers brush a scar on his neck so gently, he wants to shudder.

“What for?” he asks, wanting to know if he can touch her. She’s so pretty and clean and is a good thing, a precious thing.

“I see things. Things that are going to happen,” Alice says, as she inspects his arm with a frown. “And when I saw what was going to happen to you in the army, I got mad that I couldn’t protect you anymore. And when you came home, I didn’t realise she was following you until it was too late and I couldn’t work out where you’d ended up. I would have come sooner if I’d known, I swear.” She turns his arm over to reveal a bite mark on his wrist and impulsively kisses it.

He flinches; the contact magnifies her emotions - and his - and it skitters pleasantly along his body.

“I don’t…” he begins, his voice still gravelly from lack of use. “I don’t blame you.”

“I do,” she replies softly, and then she backs away and that is disappointing enough that he takes a step closer to her. She giggles and smiles at him again, and he will follow her anywhere.

“You have to make a choice now,” she says, and he nods hypnotically.

“You can go back to Maria,” her voice wavers again, and he doesn’t like the coldness that sweeps through her at that statement. “And fight and kill until she’s bored with you. She creates war and destruction and monsters, Jasper, and I don’t want you to go with her. She will destroy you, and I couldn’t bear it if…” She stops, turning her head away and stays silent for a moment.

“Or,” her voice is steady again, “you can come with me.”

She holds out her hand.

“My brothers and sisters are distracting Maria and her friends for now, you and I can get away, and go somewhere safe,” she continues. “Just you and me together. I can…”

He never knows what she was going to say because his choice is made, his hand taking hers without a second thought, and she stares up at him with wide eyes, her mouth a perfect ‘o’.

“Are you sure?” she manages, and he nods. He thinks of pain, human and immortal. He thinks of rage and regret. He thinks of his lowest point as a human, of the permanent bite marks on his arms, and the weight that has only shifted now that he’s immortal, not lifted away.

He thinks of being happy and safe and clean and peaceful. He thinks of a girl sitting next to him in an alley, with her throat burning, but her only worry about his bruises.

The girl who can back for him.

Everything is still muddled, from his human life, but he knows that lot of people took him apart and remade him in both his lives. She’s the only one who tried to heal him.

“Let’s go,” he says, and she laughs sweetly, and then they are running faster than anyone can see as they disappear into the night.

—

‘Home’ is a cabin in the middle of the forest, somewhere towards the north east, he thinks. No people around, just wild animals for him to glut himself on. There is the constant running of the river beside them, covering their scent against nomads. It is quiet here - a good place to figure out the edges of his gift, to learn resistance and control, to try and heal and reconcile all that happened to him in such a short space of time.

Alice tells him Maria was indescribably desperate after his disappearance; their exit covered by a well-time rainstorm that washed all the scents away. She had torn apart Houston in her fury, and now she was in more trouble than she knew.

Meaning that Maria wouldn’t come hunting for him any time soon. And, he supposes, when she does, Alice will know. Alice knows everything.

She knows that he likes to sit on their front steps and just stare out at the forest without being disturbed. That the scent of smoke and fire sends him twitching worse than any vampire she’s ever met. That the scars that mark his arms, neck, and face are simply placeholders for the ones he gained as a human, and his disgust over them lingers from the injuries he suffered in war. That he misses his sisters, and they are one of the reasons he is so resolute in his control training. That, if nothing else, he will say good bye and fake his death to give them closure. Alice promises him that she knows someone who can help them figure all those kinds of details out, but she wants him to see his sisters one last time almost as badly.

He knows that Alice loves him, as truly as anyone has loved before. That feeling never wavers, not through his rages, his depressions, his disassociation. That just watching him read a book on their (broken) couch has joy blooming inside her. He knows that Alice will never pressure him, never ask him for more than he is ready to give - and because of that, he is willing to give her anything she asks.

Some days are harder than others, especially when Alice talks to him about her family - the one she walked away from for him - and he knows that she wants the both of them to return to the Cullens sometime in the future. And he feels obliged to do it, eventually, since her jumble of siblings were a part of his escape plan - the most dangerous part, if it involved aggravating Maria. But she never asks, just talks to him about them.

But mostly, he’s okay. Good, even. Animal blood is disappointing, and sometimes he’s so agitated he can’t sit still and wishes for … a battle, to run, to do something other than sit, and read, and hunt animals, and talk. Alice blames it on his newborn year, and he tries so hard to contain it, but it’s hard.

She tries to make it better, and on days that he can stand to be touched, she teaches him all the old-fashioned dances she knows, and he spins her around and sometimes it does make it better.

He’s got regrets, a laundry list of them, but Alice says that isn’t unusual; it takes very specific circumstances to be changed - especially young - and be satisfied with the final outcome. When he asks her regrets, she shrugs and admits that she doesn’t even remember being human. Leaving him unprotected is her biggest regret, and that makes her sad, which he doesn’t like the feeling of.

So he puts his arm around her, and she curls against him, and that makes the sadness evaporate, and she beams up at him with golden eyes he could drown in, and one thing he will admit is - that despite the pain and unhappiness that followed him from human to immortal - that he will never, even regret taking her hand.

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Left Behind Chapter 18 - Carry On

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Angels and Demons.

Word count: 3k

Summary: In the penultimate chapter Kate tells all of her friends that she has to leave Hope County due to a family emergency across the country. She has a hard time telling John because of how close they’ve gotten. 

Guest OCs: Paige Winchester, Sarah Dunham, Alissa Connors, Layla Michaels, Becky Taylor, Ashley Saunders, Ivan and Isaiah Wren, Ryan Cho, Dylan Paulson and Kevin Baker. 

Guest characters: Lilith, Archangel Gabriel, (Supernatural, in a dream), Sam, and Dean Winchester, Castiel [mentioned], Eli Palmer, Wheaty, Mary May, Nick Rye, Grace Armstrong, Pastor Jerome, Raphael, Michael and Lucifer [mentioned].

Note: This chapter is a clusterfuck. SMGDFH. 

*************************************

Kate and Morgan are on their way to the Wolf’s Den. They’re planning on telling all of their friends, everyone they’ve come to know during their time living in Hope County.

They’re leaving, they don’t know for how long, not sure if they’ll ever come back especially with the Cult running around, and destroying shit.

They make it to the Wolf’s Den, parking the car by the grassy area, and they make their way up the small mountain.

“So what are you gonna tell Wheaty?!” Morgan asks, trying to keep herself from slipping down the grassy hill.

Kate sighs, “I don’t know. Probably “Hey I’m gonna be leaving Hope County, I’m not sure how long I’m gonna be gone, it’s a family emergency and they need me, and Morgan because she’s family as well”. I don’t know something like that, or along the lines”.

“Aww you see me as family?!?” Morgan says in a sarcastic but also heartful kind of way.

Kate rolls her eyes, “Well duh, I’ve known you for over 10 years. We’ve traveled together”.

They go down the stair of the Wolf’s Den, the Whitetails being the first on their list to say their goodbyes even though they still have two months to do so.

They get to the bottom of the steps, and Kate almost walks into Wheaty.

“Hey!!” he says loudly, startled by their unexpected visitors. 

“Hey Wheaty” Kate greets him with a smile.

“Morgan, Kate. How are you two doing?” he asks, in an awkward tone.

“We're doing great, but we unfortunately have some bad news” Morgan says, walking past him, and sits down on a chair.

“What’s the bad news?” he asks, looking back and forth at them.

Morgan raises her eyebrows at Kate, telling her to explain to him why they have bad news.

Kate clears her throat, “We uh. Unfortunately, we have to leave Hope County”.

Eli walks in as she says this.

“Leave Hope County?!?!” the bearded man asks loudly. 

“Yeah, I got a call from my uncle, and there’s a family emergency, and they need mine, and Morgan’s help” Kate explains to them.

“What kind of emergency?” Eli asks, “If you don’t mind me asking”.

“It’s just my great aunt, she got into some trouble with some sketchy people. She made a few deals, and we have to help her out of it” Kate further explains.

“We’re gonna be leaving in a few months. Because that’s when the “deadline” expires, and we have to help her hold off it” Morgan adds.

They’re both great liars. No one. Not a single soul can know of the evil monsters in this world. 

Vampires, Demons, Werewolves, Ghosts, Ghouls. That shit will only freak people out, and only a small handful of people can know, and hunt these monsters. 

The people in Hope County will never know, or understand what Kate and Morgan do for a living.

What their families have been doing for generations. Saving people, hunting things, the family business. 

It was a close one with John getting possessed, Kate was glad Castiel worked his angel magic, and wiped his memory of the whole thing.

One of the perks on being besties with an Angel of the Lord. 

Kate clears her throat again, “November 2nd. That’s when we’re leaving for Jackson, then we’re going to Pennsylvania because that’s where she lives”.

Eli, and Wheaty look back and forth at the two huntresses.

“As much as we don’t want to leave, especially with the Cult terrorizing everyone” Morgan says.

“A lot of shit going on” Kate adds.

They stayed at the Wolf’s Den for another half an hour, and they moved on to all their other friends.

Luckily Nick Rye, Grace, Pastor Jerome and Mary May were all at the Spread Eagle. 

You can cut the tension with a knife, after what happened several months early with the whole atonement bullshit, and Saleos.

Mary pretty much glared at Kate the whole time, Nick and Grace didn’t even look back to look at her, and Pastor Jerome just looked like he didn’t want to talk about what happened that day. 

“Hey” Kate says, greeting the Holland Valley business owners, and residents.

“Hey” Mary says with a hint of anger in her voice.

Morgan takes the lead with this since none of them want to hear Kate out on this.

“Listen” she starts off, “Kate and I are leaving Hope County in a few months. Family emergency, we’re telling you guys because we don’t want you guys to think we just, up and left Montana out of selfishness”.

As Mary cleans glasses, “So after everything that has happened. You’re just gonna leave like the fucking Cult is gonna let you?!”.

Morgan and Kate both look at each other, then back at Mary.

“Oh wait. That’s right you can because you’re fucking dating John Seed” she yells angrily towards Kate.

Kate snaps back, “Okay first of all I didn’t even fucking know he was involved with that shit!!”.

“Bullshit!!!” Mary snaps, almost breaking a glass “You seriously didn’t even know about the Cult, or the atonements?. Or any of that shit?”.

“What John did to me was un-fucking-forgiveable” Nick says, “I’m surpised you defended him, and was still dating him after all that. Hell I don’t know why you even got with him in the first place”. 

Nick doesn’t even look back at them when he says this, not even turning his head in the slightest.

“I broke things off with John shortly after that. I never spoke to him after all of that” she defends herself but it wasn’t good enough.

“That still doesn’t make things any better Kate!!” Mary adds, “I don’t know if you’re blind, or just stupid for defending that man. After what him and his family have done to all of us, and you still justify his actions”.

“I’m starting to think you two leaving is for your own selfishness” Grace says, not looking back at them. 

Pastor Jerome turns to them, and says “Some of us can forgive you, but we won’t forget. We won’t forget the pain the Seeds have done to us all. The wrath, pain and sorrow they put on all of us will be justified”.

Kate and Morgan turn around, and are about to leave the bar. Kate’s surprised Jeorme didn’t bring up her citing an exorcism during her atonement. 

Mary mutters as she’s cleaning glasses, “I thought you would be like your mother when I first met her. But turns out you're both the same”.

Kate stops, and turns to her, “What did you say?!?. My mother?!?”. 

She walks up to the counter, “What do you mean “I would be like my mother?”.”

“Mandy, or should I say Mother Amanda. She was a part of the Cult, she was The Mother, Joseph picked her. They were the Mother and Father of Eden’s Gate” Mary says, “That was 6-7 years ago”. 

“Bullshit!!” Kate yells, Morgan tries to hold her back, “My mother would never be a part of a fucking Cult. Be a goddamn peggie?!. Fuck no!!”. 

Mary scoffs, “She betrayed us, she betrayed the Cult, and look what happened to her. Joseph had some of his followers kill her”.

Kate's voice starts to tremble, and takes a deep breath “Lies. all fucking lies!!!. She wouldn’t let a bunch of inbred hillbilly motherfuckers kill her”.

Morgan practically drags Kate out of the bar, and back to their car.

“Kate, you have to calm down!!!” Morgan tells her.

Pacing, aggressively scratching her head, “That’s all bullshit. My mom would never join the fucking Cult. I know she’s not dead, I know it. My uncle Brent said he needed her help as well with the whole thing with Aunt Flora”.

“Okay. Kate you need to relax. Let’s go home, and you can sleep for a bit. Then we can tell the others later”. 

Morgan puts Kate in the passenger side, and drives them home.

Kate goes into her room, and tries to sleep for a bit.

1:30 in the afternoon, and she still has a lot more people to tell about her departure in a few months. 

Tossing and turning in her midday nap. She had a very eerie about an old enemy demon that at one time needed to harvest her soul because she was, or she still is the true vessel to this particular demon. 

Lilith the first demon to be created by Lucifer himself. 

 That bitch demon that her cousin Sam had killed several years earlier, she was resurrected by Crowley, or Alister, or Asmodeus one of them demon fuckers brought her back, along with Abaddon. 

-The dream- 

Unable to sleep even her own dream, or should I say nightmare, Kate has a hard time sleeping.

“Hello Katella” a female voice says.

Kate wakes up, sitting up in her bed, and sees Lilith.

“What do you want?!?” she asks, angrily. Narrowing her eyes at the demon.

“You already know what I want” she says, walking towards her, and sitting at the edge of her bed. 

“And you already know the answer” she replies, “It will always be no”.

“I will get you to say yes” she replies in a threatening tone. 

Kate scoffs, rolling her eyes “I won’t let you harvest my soul, my body. I won’t let you. No matter what you do”.

Lilith stands up, walking in front of the bed, and says. 

“I know how much you love your sister. Paige. Her and Abaddon are basically counterparts, just like how Sam and Lucifer, Dean and Michael. You and I”. 

Kate stands up from her bed, “Paige will never let Abaddon harvest her soul, and I won’t let you. The whole thing with Sam, Dean, Lucifer and Michael was a different story”.

Lilith’s eyes turn white, “I will harvest your soul. No matter what. You’re my other half, my true vessel.”

“You need my consent to harvest my soul. You can stay in that meatsuit of yours”.

Lilith scoffs, walking towards her “I don’t need your consent. I can just harvest your soul. Just like any other demon”.

“Not while I’m around” a male voice says, “Stay away from my human”.

Lilith stops, and turns around. Sees Archangel Gabriel. 

She groans in annoyance, rolling her eyes “Of course. One of Heaven’s feathery boys”.

Even though this is all a dream, Kate is relieved that her Trickster Archangel best friend is here.

He narrows his eyes at the demon, “As Kate’s guardian Angel. I won’t let you anywhere near her pure, good soul”.

Lilith laughs softly, “And what are you gonna do about it?!?. By the way how was being tortured by Asmodeus?”. 

She smirks, and that was a huge mistake the first demon ever to be created has ever said.

“He fed off of my grace for years!!” he yells, his eyes turning purplish white.

He banishes Lilith away with a bright light. Kate covers her eyes from the blinding light of the Archangel. 

Turning back to face the Archangel, he stares at her with those whiskey color eyes. 

They stare at each other, “Gabriel?” she whispers.

He slowly approaches her, placing his hand on her cheek. Kate practically melts to his touch.

Sighing softly, closing her eyes. The heat radiating off this angel is very comforting.

Gabriel slowly pulls her closer to him, and-

-end of dream-

Kate wakes up from her very good dream, she’s been having it for a couple weeks now. 

It always ends the same way. Gabriel banishing Lilith to Hell probably, caresses her cheek, and pulls her in closer to him. 

Probably to kiss her, because Gabe is her guardian Angel, Michael being Paige’s and her mothers is unknown probably Raphael. 

That dream is probably telling her something, a sign or some kind of foreshadowing. 

Later that day, her and Morgan leave to hang out with their group of friends. 3:30pm. 

They all go to the campsite they went to several months earlier when Kate first met Wheaty.

“You guys are leaving?!?” Sarah asks.

Kate and Morgan nod their heads, “Yeah, we are”.

“How are you guys gonna get out?!” Ivan asks.

“We’re not sure yet” Morgan answers. 

“We’re driving out. Obviously” Kate says.

They all sit around an unlit bonfire, chatting. Going over their two friends that are leaving. As they're talking, a Cult truck stops near their campsite.

4 peggies come out, all male, rifles in hands. They approach the group of young adults.

“Kate Winchester!!” one of them calls out.

The group of friends turn to Kate, except Morgan her eyes are locked on the 4 peggies. 

“What do you want?!?” she asks. 

“John wants you to go by the church. Now” another peggie answers. 

Kate and Morgan turn to each other.

She gets up, and they guide her to their truck, climbing into the backseat, and they drive out of the Whitetails, and back to Holland Valley. 

Dropping her off in front of Falls End church.

Unsure what John wants, or what he wants to talk about. 

She walks inside, and sees John with his back to her, standing in front of the panel.

Having flashbacks to 5 in half months ago, when all that shit happened. 

“Hey John” she says, her voice echoing. 

He turns around, a huge smile on his face.

“Hello Katie” he says, with enthusiasm, and excitement in his voice. 

She walks towards him, swinging her hands at her sides, clapping them.

“Soo” she says, “Why did you call me here?”.

He sighs loudly, echoing throughout the church. 

“It’s a surprise” he says with a hint of malice in his voice. 

Kate raises her eyebrows at him, “Really?. Am I gonna like it?!?”. 

John chuckles at her cuteness, the innocence in her voice. How cute, naive and innocent she sounds. 

“You’re gonna love it” he says with emphasis on the word love. 

 “Well I look forward to seeing it” she replies, stepping closer to him.

He stares at her with a smirk, “Well to give you a few hints, it might ring a bell, and it’s gonna be very engaging”.

Kate awkwardly chuckles at him, and John notices something is off about her.

“Darlin’. What’s wrong?” he asks, moving her hair away from her face.

Stammering over her words, trying to hold back tears.

“Its-It’s nothing” she lies, John catches on.

“Don’t lie to me sweetheart. What’s wrong?” he places his hand on the back of her head. 

She looks down at the ground, and before she could tell him. Her phone rings, she pulls it out, and sees her sister's name.

Her eyes widened at her phone screen, she looks up at John.

“I’m sorry I really need to take this” she tells him. He nods his head. 

She steps away, standing near the front door of the Falls End church, and answers her phone. 

“Hey!” she says into her phone.

Paige on the other end, sounding like she just woke up.

“You called, and gave me a very lecural voicemail” she says in a groggily voice, “What’s so important?”.

“Uncle Brent called me. Him, aunt Laura, our cousins, and Barbara need our help” she explains to her older sister.

“For what?!” she asks, voice still groggily.

“Our great aunt Flora made a deal with a demon, and she needs our help” she whispers, so that John can’t hear her.

“Okay. So we head back to Jackson, and leave when?” she asks.

“November 2nd. That’s when we leave to Philly” she whispers to her.

Paige sighs, “Okay. I’ll call Brent, and get more details. But we’re gonna talk out our issues, and you’re gonna have to leave school”.

“Well I graduated, and have my Master of Science degree in Psychology” she tells her, “So me leaving school won’t be necessary”. 

They hang up, and Kate turns back to John who is leaning against the panel. His head tilted to the side. Smirk on his face.

“Sorry that was my sister” she tells him.

He can still see the sadness, and worried in her eyes.

“Katie, darlin’. Answer my questions, what’s wrong?.

She sighs, looking down at the floor, “I have to leave Hope County”.

The expression on his face changes from happy to sadness mixed with anger.

“No. No you can’t leave me” he tells her, his voice getting upset, “Why are you leaving me?!?”.

“I don’t want to. My family needs me” she further explains to him, “They need my help. A family member is in deep trouble with some sketchy people”.

John shakes his head, tears starting to form in his eyes, “You can’t leave. I love you, I need you” his voice going hoarse.

“You mean a lot to me. You changed me Kate. I love you, I need you here with me”.

Kate starts to cry, her eyes going red. “I love you too. I can’t leave my family hanging. I’ll come back when we return from Pennsylvania. I have never loved, or cared for anyone before. You’re my first real boyfriend, you took my virginity. Everything we’ve done and been through was all real”.

John tries to smile through his tears. He loves Kate, he really does love her. 

He never wanted her to go through any pain. He wants her to stay in Hope County with him.

But he knows how family oriented she is, and that’s why he loves her. He wants to have a family with her. Grow old together in the ranch house, or maybe move to the West Coast, and start their family. 

The possibilities are endless for them, but he unfortunately has to accept that she has to leave in a few months, and he wants to spend every moment with her.  

[writingwhywhywhy]

Derailed Chapter 11

A/N Sorry this is taking forever. The you know makes it hard for me to write. This one should be a lot longer, and it's a lot of explanation. Like wtf is up. I also had to start a new job that is 40   hrs without anyway to write a single thing. Also side note Y/M/N is your mom's name. Life also got complicated since I started so yeah.

"It's a coven." Freya stated

"The long shot was looking for a coven?" You asked slightly confused, while managing to forget that you hadn't told anyone else that Freya was attempting a Hail Mary.

"It was the only available solution. The good news is that they seem to collect in one town." She responded

"Which coven?" Asked Elijah.

"Zavala. They seem to be located about 200 miles from here. They apparently siphon their power from the magic lines that marry into the coven." Freya said.

"So what would they want with me? I have nothing magical about me." You tried to think through the problem

"I say we go and ask them." Dean said

"Sam and I will go in the morning." Klaus commanded

"Great. I am coming with you." You replied

"No." Came from all the men simultaneously.

"If I am or the children I am carrying are what they want, they can't kill me." You stated

"Or you could just be handing them exactly what they want." Klaus replied

"That's why I am not going alone, unless you think between you and Sam you can't defend one measly hunter." You said

"You should understand that witches do have their tricks." Klaus responded

"Hey." Freya started to protest.

"Anyone with brains can see they either underestimated us or didn't think we knew someone powerful enough to track them. Their tricks really are nothing compared to Freya’s." You replied.

"You think I am the brainless one here. I am not.." Klaus started.

"Enough." Elijah commanded.

The room fell silent. "Look, this is getting us no where. Dean, Y/N, and I will head to the town tomorrow. We will politely ask what they want. We are the three people they are lest likely to kill. Plus if they kill one or more of us, they most likely lose whatever they wanted." Elijah reasoned.

The logic was hard to argue with. The room seemed to be hit simultaneously with the sleepiness that everyone had spent the last few weeks earning. A non verbal agreement set in, everyone was going to go to bed. "I hate to admit it, but I think Dean and I might need a guide to our different rooms." You said reluctantly.

"I have got you, love. I believe that Sam has a better sense of direction than his brother." Klaus said

"Sam you can call me if you get lost. I will send my guide to rescue you!" You said exiting.

You stared at Klaus's back as you let your mind wander to tomorrow. It was going to be an awkward car ride. You were so out of it you almost missed when Klaus spoke to you. "You use to never get lost here." He stated

"Yes, but I also use to live here." You replied with no desire to continue the conversation.

"So what is your plan about the kids?" Klaus asked

"I am not sure. I still need more information." You replied

"Hope was a surprise I didn't accept at first. Hayley being pregnant made no sense. I almost missed out on that source of joy. I just want you to know that." Klaus said.

"Yeah but your history with Hayley was a lot less complicated. Plus she didn't have to split locations for her child." You replied

"Sure but her life got a lot more complicated. She made a lot of sacrifices to protect Hope. You might have an easier time." Klaus said

"If you are implying that I don't have a heart, I wish that I didn't because leaving when asked wouldn't hurt. If you are saying I don't love your brother, you are also mistaken. The only think you could be right about is maybe your brother not loving me." You bit back

"If you are blind enough to believe my brother ever stopped loving you, you have not been paying attention. Which makes sense because two men have been falling over themselves and you hardly noticed." He said

You knew exactly who he was talking about and you had to stop this conversation. "Thank you for the compliment but you and Sam really aren't my type." You joked

Klaus glared at you. You glared back. "I believe we have arrived at where you are staying." Klaus said dryly.

"Thank you and goodnight." You said doing your best not to slam the door in his face.

The following morning, you just grabbed your duffel bag and headed straight to the kitchen. Hopefully Dean would be down there and ready to go. You really just wanted to get out of here.  The upcoming car ride wasn't going to be pleasant but at lest everyone had the same goal in mind. Hopefully the silence would stay between the three of you.

Dean was waiting with Elijah. The three of you seemed to be like minded and laser focused. Without much talking the three of you packed the impala. The only pause came when the three of you were to get in the car. Dean was obviously driving and someone should take shotgun. You took the backseat you had spent your first year with the Winchesters riding in.

The car ride was silent even with a stop for gas. The air was thick with unease. About ten miles away from the city, Dean announced his intention to get more gas just in-case. Everyone knew the amount of gas on the car would make no difference in the scheme of things, but having this as a last ditch backup plan was comforting a bit.

You decided to go pee. On your walk back to the car a man seemed to stare you down. It freaked you out and you almost ran to the car. "Are you Y/M/N's daughter?" He asked

Your blood ran a bit cold. Very few people knew her name. Your feet were about to turn into a run, but Elijah and Dean flanked you very suddenly. "Yes. I was actually on my way to this town to do some research on my family history." You replied, hoping you would get away.

"Well I should be a lot of help considering we were married for a few years and had a daughter named Clarissa." He replied

Your heart stopped. That had been your oldest sister's name. He was lying you thought. Your mother had never told you any of this. Before you could process, Dean spoke up. "Any help you provide would be great. She dragged me and this guy along. None of us are great with history or directions. Could we follow you to a cafe?"

"Please she is practically family, you all can come to my home." He replied with his eyes drinking you in.

Before you could politely reject, Elijah stared him in the eye and said "You are going to invite me in as soon as we arrive."

You saw the strange man nod, and realized that Elijah had done a small test and intended to compel the answers out of him. In this moment you really wished the Elijah had been on more hunts with you.

The strange man did indeed invite Elijah in, once the three of you arrived. Hope kinda surged in you. Dean was about to set up and ask some questions. You stopped him with one touch and a look. Elijah had a plan and you knew you could trust Elijah.

Elijah was about to compel the man again, but he offered answers freely. "My name is Walter. I am going to go get my photo book. Your mother was a beautiful bride. You might actually put her to shame." He said walking to grab a book.

The three of you still stood. "Please sit. Would you like something to drink?" Walter asked in a way that made you want to trust him.

Your gut instinct told you not to. So you took the seat next to Walter. "No thanks. My mother never mentioned her marriage to you. Do you know why?" You asked

"Oh because she ran away from the coven. We were in love, but your father came along. I am sure I would still recognize my Clarissa. We were set to be the power couple coven leader with the most powerful children. Yet your mother fell for someone else. Did you know it broke your grandparent's hearts?" He chirped away.

"No I did not." You stuttered a bit shocked at how candid he was being.

"Why are you really here?" Walter asked

You prepared the lie, but instead the truth surged out. "I am pregnant with twins and really shouldn't be. Elijah's sister located that this coven stated it."

Dean and Elijah stared at you with a mix of disbelief and anger. You sent apologies back. "Oh boys don't be mad at her. As the coven leader I have an honesty spell on the house. No one can lie inside my house, not even me. Twins are extremely rare and so interesting. So the reason our coven is at fault, is the fact it is your coven. The Zavala coven was struck with a curse that almost chopped us down.

You see the coven use to gain power through marriages. Then a petty more powerful coven foresaw our great power, and lay a very powerful curse upon us. Every other generation would be without magic, and we could only gain power from a line by having two children of that line being born into the Zavala coven.

The part that almost did us in was the fact that they made it impossible for any members of the coven to have children unless they met some requirements. One was mutual love for each other. The other was you had to be past the age of 26."

That hit you like a ton of bricks. The twins you carried proved that they both loved you. You were still processing that when Walter spoke again.

"We fought it by making conceptions guaranteed, no matter what they were or what should stand in the way of having kids. Unless of course, the coven member or members get a magical block put up with consent from the coven member. So boys what were your last names?"

You watched as they both tried and lost the fight to lie. "I herd of your mother, Elijah. Her line seems to be strong. I approve of him. You know his vampire status will not hinder you having a third child. You should have another child with him. If you do that, we will welcome you and your family back. We need more people in the town, and we can keep you protected." Walter said

Your blood went cold. "I am not having children just to please people." You responded

"Oh well. Hopefully Elijah wins you back. Now do you want some tea while I fill you in on my marriage to your mother?" Walter asked with a sick smile.

You wanted to run. "We are going to go." Dean said

"Well you kids remember, we want her and her kids back." He said with the worst smile.

You almost ran out of the house. Your feet flew to the car and you hopped in back. Dean and Elijah were on your heels. You decided to look back as you pulled away. Walter was standing there waving with his horrible smile.

"So I can see why your mom left." Dean tried to joke.

"Well I can see why she never talked about him." You replied

The three of you traveled once again in silence. You stopped at a diner. The three of you selected a table. Your waitress was a pleasant lady who vaguely reminded you of Kathy. Your heart longed for the town you had called an almost home. "What can I get y'all?" She asked

"I will have a burger, Diana." Dean said

"I would prefer a salad, dear." Elijah said

"I want the greatest burger ever and a side of fruit instead of fries, Diana." You said

Diana gave you a weird look. You rubbed your belly and responded "These kids have been giving me the weirdest cravings."

She nodded like she knew that exact feeling. Now Dean and Elijah were giving you weird looks. "Trust me the cravings are very weird." You replied

Dean decided to barrel through. "So the Zavala coven gets their power from breeding their line."

"So basically, don't have another kid with either of you and we should be fine. They can’t gain more power from us." You replied

"You might want to talk to Freya about the birth control options you have." Elijah stated

"Will do. So now we need to get into the meat of this. What are going to do about them?" You asked

"I don't want to force you into anything you don't want." Dean answered

"Look Dean, we need to face some facts. One I never thought about kids before this. My focus has been on survival. The two of you both brought the topic up once, you need to tell me what you want. I am not against being the equivalent of a surrogate for you two. I just need information before I decide anything." You snapped

Dean was a taken a bit back. "If you decide to surrogate, and Dean is not inclined to be a father, I will take both of them. As far as I'm concerned they both are Mikealsons." Elijah volunteered

"Same." Dean mumbled after the shock wore off.

Before you could start the next leg of the conversation, Diana came back. The town washed over you again and you remembered the promise you made what felt like lifetime ago. You grabbed your stomach again. "I  know what I want. But man this isn't going to be easy."

You arrived at the compound a few hours later.  You walked in with the two men and your duffel bag. The moment the three of your crossed the threshold, you felt more than herd a barrier spell go up. Before you could react to that a figured walked into view. You couldn't believe your own eyes. "Mom?" You asked in a very broken voice.

[xwaywardhuntress]

Yours All Along

Summary: Dean goes MIA and takes off one day every year and doesn’t invite Y/N. During that one day, Y/N is asked to help hunt a Shtriga from Cas.

Warnings: KidBait, Language, Almost Dying, Fluff?  

Word Count: 5700+

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. This is fanfiction only. Please do not redistribute my writings on other sites, horrible or not. Thanks!

Author’s Note: Not sure I liked how this turned out, but hopefully others will like it. Enjoy! Feedback is welcome! :)

“Y/N? Do you know where Dean is?” The younger Winchester asked as he stood by the door frame of Dean and Y/N’s shared room.

Without looking up from your laptop, you shook your head. “Nope.” You popped the p as you continued watching Bones. It had been that one day in the year again. The day Dean always left for the majority of the day to be with her. No, he wasn’t cheating on you. The woman in question had passed away long ago, according to Dean. His first love, even before Cassie. When asked, the older Winchester didn’t speak much of her and it was only this one day every year where he would take the time to think of her, for some odd reason. Otherwise, he never brought her up during the remaining 364 days of the year.

A part of you felt some slight jealousy towards this unknown woman that would take away your man for one day every year, but the first loves are always the hardest ones to forget, right? So you also couldn’t be too upset with Dean for taking this one day to himself.

You felt the bed dip near the edge as Sam had taken a seat while you laid on your stomach, watching the forensic tv show.

“You know you’d be his number one still, right? Even if she was still alive.” The younger Winchester commented, after realizing today was the day Dean grieved for this mystery woman he had never met either.

“Eh, I guess.” You replied with a none-caring attitude. You honestly didn’t want to talk about it, despite accepting what Dean chose to do during this one day.

Sam got the hint as he stood back up and made his way to leave the room. “Alright, I’ll be in the library if you need me, looking for cases.”

You nodded your head in acknowledgement. Pausing the TV show on your laptop, you rolled onto your back as you let out a sigh. As much as you thought you had accepted it, you just couldn’t help but wonder why Dean couldn’t include you in this day. If he was grieving once a year, even if it was for an old flame, you’d still like to be there for him. He always told you that you two were in this life together. He forgot to mention that it didn’t include this one day.

“Y/N.” A gruff voice spoke from your bedside.

Looking over, you pushed yourself up in a sitting position. “Cas? Didn’t Dean tell you to not show up in our room without some kind of warning first?”

“This is urgent.” The angel declared.

“Okay, well Dean isn’t here. But I can get Sam and we can help you?” You asked as you stood up from the bed walking over to grab your jacket hanging on the back of the door.

Castiel followed a couple of steps behind you. “I just need you.” He stated as he placed a hand on your shoulder after you had shrugged on your jacket.

Within a blink of an eye, you found yourself with the angel on an empty street road. “What the hell, Cas? I didn’t even get to grab any weapons. Bring me back!”

“I can’t. Not until you help me here.” The trench coat wearing angel shared as he seemed to be searching for something. It was a car.

Watching as Cas walked away and stopped by what looked like an abandoned 70s car, you made your way over to join him, “Alright, where is here first?”

The angel opened the door and motioned at the car. “Can you get this car started? It should still work.”

You rolled your eyes, disliking his lack of answers, but still answered him by beginning to work on getting the car started. “Cas, once I turn this car on, you better tell me where we are.” The engine revved in and out as you crossed certain wires till it finally turned on.

“It’s not a matter of where, but when.” Cas stated as he walked to the other side of the car and took a seat on the shotgun side.

You took his action as an implication that you would be the driver as you got in and then began driving off the side and back onto the road you had originally appeared on. “Alright, I’ll bite, when are we? And where am I driving too?”

“Just go straight and then take a right into the next group of houses.” The angel shared. “…And we’re in 1983.”

Your foot stomped hard on the brakes hearing the year. Cas had brought you back 36 years?! Stopped in the middle of the road, you looked over at the angel, almost glaring. “Why in the hell are we in 1983?!”

“I can’t tell you why, but I need you to protect a child. There will be severe consequences if the child dies.” The angel explained, yet left so much out still.

You sighed knowing that was probably all you were going to get.

“And I cannot tell you the child’s name right now.” The angel added.

You groaned as you lifted your foot off the brake and began driving again. “You’re lucky you’re one of the few people I trust Cas.”

The angel smiled at your comment as he sat in the passenger seat during the drive.

As both of you entered a street filled with houses, Cas pointed out to a white one to stop in front of.

“This is where the child lives.” Cas confirmed.

You couldn’t help but feel that you had seen the house before somewhere. “Alright, so what am I protecting this kid from?” You turned to the angel in a trench coat.

“A Shtriga.”

Your eyes widened. You’d read about them, heard about them from when Dean and Sam dealt with one, but you never actually hunted one before. “Okay, well if I remember, they can be killed by consecrated iron. So we’ll need to get our hands on some of that.”

“They’re in the back.”

You spun your head quickly as you saw a duffle bag in the back seat that had not been there before. “I’m feeling not very needed right now...” You rose a brow looking over at the angel.

“This is all I can help with. The Shtriga will come tonight. I must go now.” And then Cas disappeared.

If you could scream your heart out, you would’ve. Now, it seemed like it was time to think of a game plan. How were you going to kill this Shtriga? According to Sam and Dean, the monster’s most vulnerable moment to kill them was when they’re in the process of sucking the life out of a child. That would mean you’d need to wait for it to attack this child you were supposed to protect and then kill it before it killed the kid. Easier said than done.

Making your way back onto the road before turning into the row of houses, you parked the car off to the side again among some trees. You decided you’d walk by the house and scope the area out, as well as try scoping out the house too. After eyeing around for any signs of an audience, you made your way to the side of the white house as you began peeking in through the windows. From the window of what you assumed was the dining room, you spotted a little boy. He looked oddly familiar. Before you could think of why, that’s when you saw her.

Quickly ducking out of sight, you squatted below the window. “Mary?” You couldn’t help but whisper to yourself.

You had just seen the mother of the man you loved, which only meant that the little boy who had looked so oddly familiar was the man you would love in the future. Dean Winchester. The small feeling of familiarity with the house was starting to make sense. You’d seen a picture of Mary and John Winchester in front of the exact same house that you were currently snooping around now. As more connections were made in your mind, you came across the realization that Cas had sent you back to protect child Dean. This wouldn’t be weird at all.

After some moments of putting the pieces of this puzzle together, you decided to check on Mary and Dean again. Peeking through the window, you saw little Dean was by himself at the table now, eating. Mary was absent.

As you let out a breath of air, you felt the tip of a pistol press against your back. You gulped, raising your arms up.

“Who are you? And why are you spying into my house?” The female voice demanded to know.

You slowly turned around, with your arms still up, as your eyes landed on the rounded stomach. Mary Winchester was pregnant with Sam.

“I’m a hunter.” You blurted out, remembering that Dean had shared his mother was the side that came from the hunting side.

Mary eyed you for a moment, taking in your clothing. “You’re a hunter without any kind of weapon?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s in my car.”

She continued to eye you with the pistol still pointed at you. “Alright, how do you kill a vampire?”

Was she testing you if you were telling the truth about being a hunter? You answered her with a bit of sarcasm, “Not sunlight. You chop their heads off. But if you want to slow them down to do it, you inject them with dead man’s blood.”

The answer seemed to satisfy her as she lowered her pistol. “Mary Winchester. Retired hunter.”

“Y/N. Not retired hunter.” You smiled at her as you lowered your arms back down.

“Alright, Y/N. What are you hunting that brings you around here?” She asked as she put her pistol away.

“I’m hunting a Shtriga.”

“Hm, I don’t think I’ve heard of that one. You’ll have to tell me about it. How about you go grab your stuff from the car and then meet me inside my house? Then I can see how I can help.” Mary offered. “If there is something around here endangering my children, I’d like to help, despite being out of the life.” She shared as she rubbed her stomach.

You agreed to her offer as she left to return inside the house. You left to go get the duffel bag that Cas had magically brought to you. When you came back to the house with your bag, you knocked as the door was answered by a little boy.

You couldn’t help but stare at little Dean. He was pretty adorable. He called out to his mom that a pretty lady was at the door. You couldn’t help but blush a little as you smiled at him a bit awkwardly. Even little Dean had the same effect of making you blush, it seemed.

Mary came into view as Dean ran off into the house. She greeted you, “Y/N. Sorry about that. That’s Dean. I have a feeling he’s going to be giving me headaches when he grows up. He’s already such a lady’s man.” Mary chuckled as she gestured you inside.  

If only she knew how much of a lady’s man he truly turned out to be, at least till he met you. You only smiled at her comment.

“Now, I know what you’re thinking. Can a pregnant woman really help me with the hunt?” Mary commented before continuing. “Luckily my husband is away so I won’t have to drag him into something like this again. But, I can help with research and places to go too to get certain items, if needed. Even though I got out of the life, I still planned out on how to obtain what I needed if I did have to deal with a monster.”

“Well, I already know how to kill it and I have the tools to do it too.” You shared as you set the duffel bag on the table and opened it, pulling a pistol out and then ammo. You held an ammo piece in your hand. “Consecrated iron bullets…” You assumed since it was Cas who brought it and it had the same color an iron bullet would have. “These will kill the Shtriga.”

Mary walked over and took the bullet in her own hand, analyzing it. She had a bad feeling she wouldn’t like the answer to the next question she was about to ask. “Alright, and what do Shtriga’s hunt exactly?”

You paused for a moment. You knew once you answered her that there was no going back. “Children.”

Mary’s eyes widened as her eyes landed on little Dean walking into the room with a fake flower. Little Dean walked up to you, holding out the flower with almost a shy smile on his face.

You couldn’t help but smile back as it reminded you of the beginning of your relationship with Dean. You had never seen him as nervous as he was when he confessed to having feelings for you. He had also brought you a bouquet of flowers back then. You gladly accepted the flower as a big smile grew on little Dean’s face as he ran away again, probably back to his room.

“So we just have to shoot the damn monster with these bullets to kill it?” Mary asked as Dean left.

You slightly smiled before sharing more about the Shtriga. You went on to explain how it liked to suck the life out of children and that it’s most vulnerable time to shoot it to kill it was when it was in the process of attacking its prey.

Mary sat down on one of the chairs at the table. She understood what this all meant, if her Dean was the next target, then she’d have to risk his life to kill this monster.  Of course, she had to confirm it out loud that her little boy was the next target as it only made sense after finding Y/N checking out her house earlier. And so she asked.

You couldn’t help but nod your head as a confirmation.

“Would you mind giving me a minute?” Mary asked as she swallowed all the information given to her and the danger that her first born would soon meet. “The house is open for you.”

“Of course.” You agreed as you walked away. You walked up the stairs as you searched for Dean’s room. Dean’s room would be the target location, so you’d need to scope it out to find a good spot to hide, if Mary would allow the plan to happen.

Finding little Dean in his room, he was playing with some little army men. You stood by the door frame with a smile. “Well aren’t those some cool army men.” You commented.

Little Dean looked up as he held two little green army men in each of his hands as he sat on the ground. He held one out for you.

You entered his room as you took a seat by him on the ground and took the little green army man that he was handing to you.

“That’s you and this is me.” He commented about the two army men toys.

“Oh, really? So are we fighting against each other?” You faced the army man you had in hand towards the one in Dean’s hand.

Little Dean frowned at you. “No. They’re fighting together.” He stated as he took the army man back into his hand and began having the two toys move along together.

A smile found its way on your lips as you couldn’t help but think how you two would definitely be fighting together in the future, when he was much older. You took the chance to look around his room, spotting the window where you assumed the Shtriga would come through and then found the closet that happened to be right across the window but facing the bed.

“Do you have someone like my mommy has my daddy?” Little Dean interrupted your thoughts of his room as he asked out of the blue while still playing with the green army men toys in his hand.

You looked at little Dean. “I do. He saves people just like your army men.”

Little Dean looked at you interested to hear more. “Is he like Batman?”

You let out a small laugh. Of course, little Dean would compare his future self to batman. “You could say that…”

“Does he take care of you? If he doesn’t, I can take care of you like I take care of my mommy when my daddy is away.” Little Dean shared.

You smiled at his comment, admiring how he already took it upon himself to take care of someone at his age already. It wasn’t that surprising. “Well, you don’t have to worry. He takes care of me, even if I may not agree with how sometimes.”

“Good!” Little Dean exclaimed as he spotted his mother at the entrance of his door.

You looked up as well as she was smiling down at the both of you.

“I see you’ve made a new friend with the pretty lady.” Mary winked at you.

You smiled awkwardly, knowing she was referring to you the same way Dean referred to you earlier.

“Mom….” Little Dean whined as you could see he felt a bit embarrassed about it now.

Mary laughed as she ordered him to go brush his teeth and wash up before bed time. When the little boy left, she turned to you as you stood up. “I don’t like it one bit, but I’m in and I’m helping one way or another. I’m guessing you have a plan at this point?”

You admired Mary’s willingness to help, but of course with her being pregnant with little Sammy, you couldn’t put her in harm’s way. And so you devised a plan where hopefully she wouldn’t need to be part of the action. “Yeah, I think I can hide in the closet and have a good vantage point from there. Then if you want, you can be by the door, just in case. Don’t worry Mary, I’m a good shot. I won’t miss, for Dean’s sake.” You tried reassuring her of the plan. She wasn’t the only one who was at risk of losing someone she cared for deeply.

Little Dean came running back into his room with a toothbrush in his mouth. He mumbled something as he handed you one of the green toy army men. You could barely make out what he said except two words: Keep it. And then he ran back towards the bathroom.

You looked at the little green army men and then placed it in your jacket pocket, it would have to be your good luck charm for what was about to go down tonight.

While little Dean was finishing getting ready for bed, Mary insisted you hide in the closet now and she would tell Dean you had left for the night. After grabbing your pistol filled with consecrated iron bullets, you went to the closet and sat on the ground inside it. Luckily, it wasn’t a solid closet door and you were able to see into the room.

Mary came back with Dean, placing him in his bed. Little Dean had asked about the pretty lady, you, as Mary shared you had left to go home already. There was a disappointed look on his face before he was tucked into bed. She kissed his forehead, lingering there a bit longer than usual. “I love you, sweetie. I won’t let anything happen to you.” She shared with her son who smiled as he closed his eyes.

Mary glanced over at the closet you were hiding in.

You opened the closet door slightly as you held out a thumbs up.

Mary then left, taking her place by her son’s door and her own pistol with the consecrated iron rounds.

And then you both waited for this Shtriga to come.

A little past midnight was when you started noticing a shadow from the window. It all happened very fast after that. As the Shtriga entered and hovered over little Dean, it opened its mouth and was about to begin to suck the life out of the child. On edge a bit, you opened the closet door and fired a shot too early. The Shtriga got hit but didn’t die as it hadn’t even been feeding yet. It used its inhuman speed as it went after you throwing you across the room.

Little Dean had woken up from the gunshot as Mary threw the bedroom door open. She ran straight to her son as the Shtriga turned towards her and little Dean. Mary shot her bullets at it without thinking as self-defense.

You found yourself forcing yourself to stand up after being thrown. “Hey ugly! Over here!” You yelled as you shot at the monster again to get its attention away from Mary and Dean. You gestured with your head for Mary to take Dean and get out of there. This time, the Shtriga slowly made its way over to you as you watched Mary escaping with Dean. When the monster began noticing the boy escaping, it was going to go after Mary and Dean when you shot another bullet at it again.

In anger, it bolted towards you, landing you onto the ground as it held you down. You had turned your head in the direction of Mary and Dean running towards the stairs to get out. Little Dean had looked at you scared, which almost mirrored his older versions look. You tried smiling at him to let him know everything was going to be okay before you left his view of sight as Mary took him running down the stairs.

Your pistol had been knocked out of reach as you turned to face the monster. As you looked at the monster, it opened its mouth, deciding that it would feed upon you now. This was it, you thought. You had failed to protect Dean. Feeling yourself being drained of energy, you barely registered the gunshot in your mind. The Shtriga fell on top of you, but you quickly felt its weight taken off of you. Looking up, you saw two figures above you. One held the gun that had been out of reach from you and the other was by your side. You could feel yourself regaining your energy back, but were still a bit incoherent.

“Is she going to be okay?” You heard Mary’s voice ask.

“Yes. She completed her task.” The very familiar angel’s voice spoke.

You felt two fingers press against your forehead as one word was said to you, Rest. And then you fell into a realm of darkness.

-

Waking up, you shot up in the bed you were laying on as you yelled, “The Shtriga!”

“Woah there, sweetheart. Take it easy.” A deep voice soothed you.

You turned to be met with emerald eyes. Dean Winchester.

“Did you just say Shtriga?” Dean questioned after taking a second to realize what you had yelled out. “Is that what Cas had you up against without us?!” His voice rose.

“Yes? But it’s dead?” You couldn’t help but answer in question form as you could tell Dean did not like hearing that you went against a Shtriga by yourself. To be fair, you had his mother’s help but were you allowed to share the time jump Cas had done to you?

“CAS! Get your ass down here now!” Dean yelled as Sam came running into the room with a sigh of relief as he spotted you.

Dean had got up from the chair he sat on beside your bed as he was yelling at Cas, who was probably avoiding to show up but heard him nonetheless. If you were in Cas’s shoes, you probably would’ve laid low and came later when Dean wasn’t upset anymore.

Sam sat at the edge of the bed you laid on as you asked him what you had missed. The younger Winchester explained that you were gone overnight. Dean had come home yesterday to find you nowhere in the bunker. After Sam helped his brother to search for you throughout the bunker, thinking you were pranking them till they realized you weren’t, they called for Cas. Cas had explained to them that you were busy with a hunt he asked for help on and that he couldn’t bring you back till you were finished. When asked about the hunt, the angel said he couldn’t share the details and then he left.

Dean had not taken Cas’s answers very well as he then began going through the steps of searching for someone with Sam’s help. To Dean’s misfortune, your cell phone was still at the bunker, so that idea of tracking you was out. As time went on without hearing a word from you or Cas, Dean began to think that you had left him.

At the moment Sam wanted to call it quits after spending all night awake with Dean searching for any sign of you, Cas had appeared carrying you, whom had been passed out. Dean then brought you to their shared room and stayed by your side till you woke up. The older Winchester only got a couple of hours of sleep as he kept waking up thinking you were gone again, only to see your sleeping form on the bed.

After it was clear that Cas was not showing up from Dean’s calls, you thought it would be best to speak up. Sam caught the hint that you were going to speak to Dean alone to calm him down as he left with a good luck smile.

You let out a breath of air as you called over to Dean. “Dean, stop. If he isn’t here now, he probably isn’t coming.”

The older Winchester looked over at you as if you were taking Cas’s side.

“Hey, don’t give me that look. I’m not siding with Cas. That guy almost brought me to help without any weapons.” And that was probably the wrong thing to say from the expression on Dean’s face.

Dean was beginning to boil in anger again. It was one thing for Cas to take you on a hunt and not tell him the details, it was worse if he took you on a hunt without some kind of weapon, especially against a Shtriga.

Trying to prevent Dean from fuming, you quickly added on, “I had what I needed though! Consecrated Iron bullets!”

The hunter let out a big breath of air aware you weren’t intentionally trying to upset him. He also knew you were right, Cas wasn’t showing up, which meant there'd be no yelling at the angel today. However, it wasn’t just Cas who took the blame for putting him through hell last night, Y/N played a part too. “If you are ever against a Shtriga again, I want you to call me. I don’t care how, but you find a way to reach me.”

If this had happened any other day, you would’ve found his statement to be almost heartwarming. He wanted you to rely on him and you wanted him to know that you did feel like you could. Unfortunately, there was still the fact of the one day of the year where Dean would go off and do who knows what grieving over his first love. That fact led you to respond not too nicely. “Unless it was yesterday, right?”

He was taken aback by your response, “What do you mean?”

You really tried not to sound bitter, but you couldn’t help it. “Dean. The same day every year since we’ve been together and even before we got together. Basically for as long as I’ve known you. You’ve always gone MIA on the one day, which was yesterday. I’ve tried calling you on this one day before which you ignored for a while or had your phone turned off, which then led to an argument where you ended up sharing with me about the day concerning an old flame. And since that time you’ve told me, I’ve respected your time and haven’t bother you...”

You could feel your insides getting warm, in not a good way. The years of holding in the jealousy and frustration of Dean keeping this one day away from you was finally being released. Maybe, you were about to be over dramatic. “But now you’re telling me to find a way to reach you? Even if I had a way to contact you back then, who knows if I’d actually been able to reach you yesterday?!” You got up off the bed, as you began shrugging off your jacket. You didn’t want to fight with him right now and sound like a jealous girlfriend of someone who was dead.

“I’m going to go shower and then maybe we can talk about what happened with the hunt Cas asked helped for.” As you dropped your jacket on the floor, an item stumbled out of your pocket towards Dean.

The older Winchester glanced down and saw something he thought he had lost long ago.

You had already left the room, headed to the bathroom when you realized you forgot a towel and new clothes. Knowing you’d have to go back and face Dean again, you swallowed your frustration and went back.

When you found yourself back at your shared room with Dean, the older Winchester had a small green item in his hand. Choosing to ignore him, you went straight for the dresser to grab your new clothing.

“Where did you get this?” He asked from the bedside where he was sitting.

Unable to grab any new clothes before his question, you turned around to face him with a questioning look. “Where did I get what?”

Dean stood up and walked over to you as he held the item that fell out of your jacket earlier in the palm of his hand. It was the little green army man that child Dean had given you. You had completely forgotten about it and were surprised that it hadn’t fallen out when the Shtriga was attacking you. Before you could even struggle to figure out what to tell Dean, he started speaking first.

“I gave this to a pretty lady when I was younger. She came to the house once and I think she was a friend of my moms.” He smiled gently as he recalled the memories, looking at the army man in his hand. “Something happened that night and I think someone broke in and was trying to kidnap me. But the pretty lady saved me and fought with the bad guy…”

Hearing Dean begin the story you had just lived through, you knew that Cas must’ve tweaked Mary and Dean’s memory from what really happened before he brought you back.

Dean continued, “I remember thinking how awesome she was and how strong and brave she was to be fighting this bad guy. But then she started losing and even though she was losing, she smiled at me. I never saw her after, so I assumed that she died that night but I know she saved my life that night…” He paused for a moment. “I gave this badass person one of my army men toys to be there for her when she needed someone…and maybe to remember me by.” He smiled at what he thought was a silly idea now. “I don’t know how you got this, but I made a promise to myself without realizing back then, I wanted to help save people from bad guys and make that badass person proud of me. She’s the one I take the day off for every year because I don’t want to ever forget why I do hunting. I do it to save people and people like her. I know you think she’s my first love and maybe she was. I only knew her that one day, but it only took that one day for her to have an impact on me. ” He finally looked at you. “Now that I think about it, you remind me of her. That’s probably why you seemed so familiar when we first met. But…” He paused again as if realizing something that had been in front of him all along. “…You are her? Cas sent you back to that time, didn’t he? You saved me?”

You were a bit speechless as Dean spoke. The pieces were all fitting together in your mind as he told the story and you had come across the same realization that if this woman that Dean couldn’t forget every year was you, then you had been jealous of yourself this whole time. And now, you felt really stupid.

While swallowing the idea you were jealous of yourself, Dean began to doubt himself. “Or you’re not? And I’m just hoping you two are one and the same. I mean with the way Cas wasn’t sharing the details and then this toy…I thought I’d never see again. Now that I found it again, it’s making that time I was a kid much clearer. I just thought maybe….”

“Dean.” You interrupted him. The incoming headache that would come from the thought that you were jealous of yourself this whole time was something you wanted to avoid for now. It didn’t matter what happened in the past. The time travel and headache of piecing the past and present together could be discussed later. For now, it was just good to know that you had been the woman Dean had thought about this whole time. “Just shut up and kiss your savior.” You smiled at him confirming his thoughts.

His smile grew big as he gladly went up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a sweet kiss.

Pulling away, he grinned. “Does this technically make you a cougar?”

You hit his chest playfully. “No! You’re still older than me!”

“Yeah, but you were older than me back then and had me infatuated with you before I actually knew you.” He argued.

“It doesn’t matter!” You retorted. As Dean went in for another kiss, you pulled away with a questioning look, “So does this mean I get you all of the 365 days now?”

Dean smiled as he leaned in for the awaited second kiss he’d been trying to get. “That’s a no-brainer. You already had me all those days. I’ve been yours all along.”

[iheardarumorxxx]

Midnight Sun, Chapter Ten - Theory

Alright, time to jump back in. Took a couple of days off, refreshed my brain, now I think I can handle more of this asshole.

instead of answering my demand

See that? See how Eddie just goes ahead and tells us that he’s being a demanding little shithead? More shades of that controlling tendency that he has all throughout the series, outright stated. This is literally the first sentence of the chapter, and he’s not even pretending to be subtle about it.

describe it so that she would understand.

Yes, because ‘I can read minds, but only if they’re relatively nearby, and it gets easier to pick out voices as I become familiar with them’ isn’t clear in the slightest. See that, Eddie? I just explained for you with 23 words, instead of going off on some dumbass tangent metaphorthat takes up an entire paragraph  like you do here because you think that the human mind is so small and weak that it can’t possibly comprehend cut and dry explanations.

The fact that Eddie thinks he needs to explain things in analogy for Bella because she won’t get it if he doesn’t really goes against this supposed idea he has about her being smarter and so above the other pitiful hooman folk. Either she’s too human to understand like everyone else, or she’s smarter and more rational and would get it without the metaphor. Pick one, Eddie.

I will say, one thing that I took from the Twilight series that still sticks with me is the phrase ‘Holy crow’. I do, in fact, use it unironically. It’s absolutely stupid, but I like the way it flows off the tongue.

Anyway, Bella just shouted it because Eddie is bending the car to his vampire physics again and going 100MPH, which, I would like to point out, she would have absolutely realized before now if she wasn’t so blatantly unobservent. She would have felt it, it wouldn’t have taken looking at the spedomoter to realize it.

“We’re not going to crash.”

Eddie is absolutely certain of this fact, and I am too only because SM would never let anything like that happen to her little woobie vampire and her SI Mary Sue. However, let’s apply real world logic to this for a sec. Just a sec because this story can’t handle real world logic for too long, but. They are presumably on a highway, going 100MPH at let’s say 930 to 10ish PM. I’ve never lived in Washington, but I’m going to make the presumption that there probably isn’t too much traffic this late, though, perhaps a bit more if it’s a Friday or Saturday night. Perhaps Eddie can keep perfect control of his own car, even going that fast, while most likely paying little to no attention to the road because he is constantly looking over at Bella in the passenger seat. He has his mind-reading power, which he probably uses to help him drive, and maybe there isn’t another car directly behind him based on how fast he’s going. 

He’s still not taking the other drivers on the road into account. What if the car in front of you that you are rapidly coming up on because you’re going so fast sees a turtle or a deer or some other kind of animal in the road and swerves to avoid it. Since this is real world logic, even if you see it coming with your mind reading power, you can’t make your car stop on a dime going 100MPH. You’re going to crash, and since you are going so fast, it’s gonna be a pretty nasty one. Your vampire body can handle that, because you’re a marble adonis god, but Bella over there is squishy and human. You slam those breaks, seatbelt aside, she’s gonna end up through the windshield or strangled to death by that seatbelt. 

He’s assuming that his vampire magic strength and perfectness is gonna be enough to protect him from literally everything. It will, because this book is not realistic in the slightest, but he’s still a dick for not taking into account the other drivers on the road. And not taking into account the fact that Bella is clearly upset and terrified that he’s going so fast.

Two and a half paragraph rant over one line. Check.

Bella spills about how Jacob told her the old story about the Cullens being sparkley, evil vampires who aren’t allowed at La Push because the wolves will eat them. And I have to say, because this story is the entire basis for Bella knowing that Eddie and his ilk are vamps, how the hell does it take her so long to figure out that Jacob is a werewolf in New Moon? Like, I know it’s because she’s stupid, but since she’s supposed to be wise beyond her years and smart and shit, why did it not click that both sides of the story must be true.

Rant for a different book, but.

I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter a small, defenseless tribe on the coastline, were I so inclined. Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead.

This is it. This is the line I’ve been waiting for. I knew it was coming and it STILL pisses me off so damn much reading it. Do you see that? Do you see it? Eddie is talking about straight up genocide. He is literally talking about killing hundreds of people just because some teenage kid told an old folktale to a girl he thinks is cute to try and impress her. I would like to remind you of that line that Alice said earlier: “It helps if you think of them as people.” IT HELPS IF YOU THINK OF THEM AS PEOPLE, EDWARD!!! These people have done literally nothing to you! If you wanted to go, say, beat up Jacob Black for spilling your secret, that’s one thing (A terrible thing that is bullshit, even if Jacob gets a jerkass makeover in a few months) but you are literally la de fucking da over the idea of going down to the reservation and murdering every man, woman, and child there because of some bullshit technicality broken treaty. HOW THE FUCK DOES ANYONE THINK THIS GUY IS THE HERO? HOW DOES ANYTHING SEE HIM AS A GOOD LOVE INTEREST? HOW IS HE A PROTAGONIST? HE’S A FUCKING MURDERER, PLAIN AND SIMPLE SPELLED OUT RIGHT THE FUCK THERE! It was spelled out pretty damn well in that first classroom scene, but here we are reinforcing it, and this is the guy that SM said she was willing to leave her husband for. THIS GUY. 

I hate it. I hate him. I’m not a happy camper.

And I’m gonna move on before I burst a blood vessel from how mad it makes me.

Bella goes on to tell Eddie that she flirted the story out of Jacob, and that she doesn’t care. He replies with “HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE! I’M A MONSTAH!” and she just shrugs and pops her gum. Eddie is just absolutely shocked by this because how could she not care? He even wonders if there’s something wrong with her. The answer is yes, she’s clearly a hybristophile, but that’s beside the point. 

The ‘how old are you’ ‘17′ ‘how long have you been 17′ ‘a while’ exchange is actually kind of cute, on it’s own. Had it been in a better book, it might have made me smile a little. But in Twilight it just felt like forced comedy, and here with Eddie being all Emo about being a monstah and also being condescending and clearly angry about Bella knowing his secret, it comes off a lot darker in tone. It could have come off as a playful exchange between people getting to know one another, and instead, it’s a darker tone and it’s almost uncomfortable. The movie had this problem, too, where they made it all dark and angsty instead of just being a cute little exchange that it should have been.

“I can’t sleep.”

This is more of that thrown away world building that SM does. First it was the Vampires never Change thing and now the can’t sleep thing. It could have been so fascinating to explore what not being able to sleep does to the psyche of these Pires. How different vampires get used to that sensation over different periods of time. Did it unsettle Eddie at first when he was turned and just couldn’t sleep anymore? Was Jasper already a night owl who barely slept, so it wasn’t much of a change for him anyway? What do they do to fill their time? If their hobbies and interests never change, it seems like they wouldn’t be using all that newly acquired time to learn new skills and hobbies, even if that particular ‘never change’ plot point isn’t explored either and never actually seems relevant to them. Has a Pire ever tried to sleep anyway? Just lay down and closed their eyes and waited for eight hours to pass, hoping they would drift off? This is interesting lore. It’s something that could have given depth to the vampires instead of being a throwaway plot point so Eddie could watch Bella sleep at night. I’m disappointed. I want a good idea to actually be used well.

Edward calls Bella observant and to that I can only say ‘Ha.’ 

Eddie finally realizes that Bella has the hots for him too and it’s so UWU and trite, but he has to go and bring up that stupid Hades and Persephone metaphor again and piss me off in the process.

The get to Bella’s house and take forever with their goodbyes, and right at the end Eddie goes on about how he’s got this new hunger in him just looking at Bella and feeling how warm she is and shit and it’s just him being horny again, but nothing happens and Bella heads inside. But don’t worry, Eddie assures us that he’ll be in his usual perch in the rocking chair later that night to stalk her and watch her sleep, so everything is well.

She couldn’t love me the way I loved her

GET IT? BECAUSE VAMPIRES ARE BETTER THAN YOU(tm) AT EVERYTHING INCLUDING HOW HARD THEY LOVE? Seriously, so damn sick of this idea that the vampires in this universe just do everything and see everything and smell everything and feel everything just so much more intensely than the pitiful hoomans. I still have a rant about it. It’s still coming. Don’t worry.

A casual throwaway mention of the Voltouri here, AKA the vampire Mafia that make and enforce the rules. They don’t actually matter or have any real power in this series, and they suck, but nice little nod to the audience as a reminder that there is supposed to be a governing body in the vampire world.

Carlisie and Eddie boy are off to take care of the rapist who almost got Bella, and the entire fucking drive, Carlisle is just sitting there thinking about how wonderful Eddie is and how he deserves happiness and it’s such bullshit for him to be thinking that way when he KNOWS that Eddie can read his thoughts. He’s literally just showering him in compliments for the sake of it just so that Eddie can hear them and puff up his ego. I don’t buy that it’s just passive thoughts. He wants Eddie to hear them.

We all know who Carlisle and Esme’s favorite child is.

We end the chapter with Eddie going back to Bella’s house to watch her sleep, deciding to take it upon himself to wander around her house uninvited, and the rambling on about how Bella clearly doesn’t have a guardian angel because she crossed his path and no guardian angel would allow that. Then he makes some crack about being her guardian vampire, talks about how, oh, it’s actually a good thing that he took it upon himself to break into her house to watch her sleep because he got her another blanket because she seemed cold, and smiles to himself when she mumbles his name in her sleep. 

That’s it, chapter done, I’m tired. I’m gonna try to crank out another one (maybe two) tonight, but no promises because this one really took a lot out of me. These characters just suck. Anyway, as always, feel free to message me or DM me to talk about the book, recommend future projects, etc. And you can always buy me a snack using the CashApp tag in my bio. Until next chapter, good damn bye.

[samclownchester]

The day is June 15 2020

The time is 3 am

The situation is that the world has fallen into a pandemic of Covid-19, and my job closed down in March, leaving me with lots of time on my hands. Despite my doubts, I fell back into Supernatural, deep into it, and I am now rewatching it. I thought it would be fun to try and see how much I could remember from earlier seasons before I watch them all

I have watched up to 1x14 at this point, so those episodes are fresh in my mind, but lets see what else I remember

Season 1

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business”

Sam’s girlfriend dies just like his mom did

Their dad is the point of the season but is only actually in like 3 episodes

Sam and Dean break up but get back together

Sam has VISIONS and moves things with his MIND

Meg is a demon, Sam has a bit of a crush on her

They find their dad, but don’t kill the demon

colt

Season 2

Dean dies in a car crash, John sells his soul for him and dies

Bobby Singer is best dad

Ellen and Jo and Ash exist

Purple Nurple

Gordon?

Lots of psychics! Sam can make friends??

Jk, it’s the hunger games

Sam gets stabbed in the back

Dean sells his soul for him

They kill Azazel I think??

“I have … demon blood in me?”

Season 3

Saving Dean from his demon deal

Groundhog day episode where Dean dies everyday

Gabriel?? (trickster)

Blonde Ruby (let’s hear it for Laurel Lance!)

Very short because there was a writers’ strike that year

Hell hounds

Season 4

Dean was “gripped tight and raised from perdition” by Castiel

Sam has a new gf! (Surprise, it’s Ruby in a new body! :o)

Why does she pretend to not know Dean when he first shows up? Is she lying to Sam about who she is this whole time?? Hmmm I wish I remembered

Time travel?? (Sam doesn’t get to come ☹ )

Demon blood

Demon blood detox ☹

Let’s kill Lilith

“Because it had to be you Sam”

“The boy with the demon blood”

Season 5

Dean is the Michael sword

Sam is messed up, trying to quit demon blood

Cas rebelled, and he did it, all of it, for Dean

Adam Winchester is a person who exists

Also I think this is the season with Jesse the antichrist who never shows up again it’s fine.

He only existed so they could have important conversations about nature vs nurture which honestly they should’ve just saved from when Jack was born but they didn’t know that was gonna happen

More time travel??

Future

Cas likes drugs

Team Free Will

Samifer

Fall into the cage

Dean goes to live with Lisa and Ben

The end?

Season 6

Cas is working with Crowley and spying on Dean but not talking to him like the pining idiot that he is

Dean can’t help but inspect monster happenings in town

Soulless!Sam

Dean finds Soulless Sam

Hanging out with some old dude?

Get Sam’s soul back

Meet Death?

Find out Cas is working with Crowley

 O: Ultimate betrayal

???

Season 7

Leviathans

Godstiel?? Why?? Idr

Hallucifer

Please give Sam therapy

Sam goes to an asylum

Cas takes Sam’s trauma??    

More leviathans

Dick?

Charlie!

Kevin!

Garth? Did we know him before. Idk, we know him now

Dean and Cas go to purgatory!

When does Cas die and walk into the lake? That’s before they go to Purgatory, right? Hmmmm but how does he come back

 Cas is Emmanuel and has a wife? Is that in this season?

Season 8

Dean gets out of purgatory!

But no Cas

Sam had a girlfriend and a dog! Nice!

Not nice, he ignored Kevin and didn’t look for Dean

Like they agreed on, but whatever ok sue him for trying to be happy

Dean has a vampire boyfriend

Not so high and mighty about killing every monster are we now, huh Dean?

Right? I don’t remember, this is a conversation that happens though

He does end up killing Benny though, doesn’t he? huh

Cas is back from Purgatory! But he’s got Secrets ™

“I’m gonna become a hunter”

Then he stays in the old folks home and next time we see him he’s all wacky and likes to watch the bees?

Megstiel

You’re just playing sorry

Am I right?? I don’t remember, but all of this happens at some point

Who even is the big bad? What are we fighting? Idk

Oh we have to save Kevin from Crowley and he reads the demon tablet. Only eats hotdogs, doesn’t shave. I love him please keep him safe.

Spoilers, they don’t

Right! The trials, Sam does the trials, they “purify” him

The angels fall, but Sam doesn’t complete the trials and almost dies.

Season 9

Sam almost dies, Dean is like “right, nonconsensual possession is clearly the best answer for this”

Human!Cas, he drinks lots of water. Steve.

§  “you can’t stay here” :o

Abaddon I think?? What was the point

Crowley is sort of our friend now and I think we meet Rowena? Idr

Kevin dies ☹

“What is the upside to me being alive” – Sam

§  Maybe in this season, maybe not. Who knows?

Cas is a cannibal (eats grace) and becomes and angel again at some point

§  Hannah exists

We all hate Metatron

Cain??

Metatron stabs Dean and Sam puts his dead body on the bed

Demon!Dean

Season 10

Demon!Dean and Crowley are living it up!

Sam and Cas try to cure Dean

Charlie and Rowena interact a lot I think

Book of the Damned

When did they find the bunker? Men of Letters? All that? Idr, anyway they have it at this point

Dean kills lots of people

Charlie dies ☹

Dean blames Sam which is unfair and I hate it

They get the mark off and The DarknessTM is release

Season 11

The Baby episode exists

Really weird sexual tension between Dean and Amara while she’s still kind of a child, no one knows why. Please stop.

Cas gets called expendable and then makes poor life decisions

Lbr, though, Misha is the only other one who can play Lucifer with the same spirit as Mark Pellegrino. Sorry Jared, it’s the truth.

Eileen!! <3

Chuck is God :o

Let’s kill Amara!

Except we don’t kill her, she just needs to bond with her bro.

Here, have your mom back

Season 12

Mom????

British Men of Letters

Lucifer F*cks

Boy I didn’t think this would turn into what it did, let me tell you

Winchesters escape from Federal Prison

Cas says “I love you”

But like, the plural you. No homo.

Sam admits he lost his drive to lead, then finds it again and leads hunters against the dang brits! Hooray!

Oh shoot Lucifer wants custody of his kid!

FIGHT

Fatality – Castiel

Fatality – Mary

Oh no wait she didn’t die she’s just trapped.

Season 13

Jack jack jack jack jack

3 dads, all at various levels of dadding

Actually 2 excellent dads, one dad who is too emotionally damaged to dad but he tries sometimes

Yeah Cas pisses of a cosmic entity. That won’t come back to bite him

Jack just wants to be good

Wayward sisters was not picked up which sucks

Apocalypse world

Rowena is our friend now

Custody Battle!!! Who wins? Not Lucifer

We saved the day! And a ton of people

Literally they made a whole deal of the people being like “We won’t leave our home or our cause” and then they got back to Sam and Dean’s world, didn’t have archangel grace and were just like “meh, actually this place is cool. We don’t have to worry about going back”

Psych! We’re not done yet! Luci wants his kid

And Michael wants his planet

Season 14

Michael! Dean

Jack dies

But it’s ok, we fixed you, just don’t use your powers

Oh shoot he used his power

Nick is somehow alive

In love with Lucifer

Burn his ass!!

Oh Mary disapproves

RIP Mary

RIP Dean being a father, now he’s gonna murder

Hi Chuck, nice of you to show up

Oh no.

Season 15

Chuck sucks

Dean and Cas break up ☹

Sam has visions again

But he’s not psychic, it’s just the piece of his soul inside Chuck

Resurrect your girlfriend! Yeah!!

Jack is eating hearts, but it’s ok, Death told him to do it.

Garden of Eden?

Get your soul back boy!

 And cry

Honorable mentions (Aka these happened but idr when)

Sam falls in love with a werewolf and then has to kill her and MAN Jared really brought the tears

AU where Supernatural is a TV show

Finding out Supernatural is a book series and the author is Chuck!

Crowley becomes helpful mostly

Crowley has a son??

 Meet grandpa

Ellen, Jo, and Ash die

Bobby dies

literally everybody dies

Kill Hitler

They meet that Jewish guy with the Golem who pretended to flirt with Dean at some point.

Jimmy Novak was a devout man who deserved a lot better than he got

Claire Novak is so cool

She moves in with Jody

When do we meet Jody? She’s just always kinda been there?

Gabriel, I don’t remember anything about Gabriel

The council of the Gods’ happens and then I think Gabriel dies in that episode?? Idr

The Four Horsemen

Death, Pestilence, War, Famine

“You’re not hungry Dean”

 I literally do not remember what was happening with these guys

Also, they killed Death, killed a reaper, that reaper became the new Death. I remember when all that happened I just didn’t feel like putting it in the timeline.