#i just saw a post that i wanted to see the background on and didnt dig as far as i should have before forming an opinion

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

[hardrockshrimp]

I am holding up. Well.

[cupidhoons]

things he wished he'd done ⟡ psh

syn three things sunghoon wished he had done more often & one thing he ended up doing instead

wc 640 && trope idol! ex bf hoon x non idol! fmr mlist

note 🗒️ ; my apology for ditching u guys 2 days straight 😢😢 i'll be back on that grind Again Tmr 😂😂🫵 also gc saw it first yupp 💪💪

saying "i love you" more often

you understood sunghoon had a hard time both expressing and showing his feelings, so it wasn't surprising when he rarely told you the infamous "L" word. you didn't mind, though. sunghoon showed his love for you through other things like giving you gifts and telling you how gorgeous you looked. the only times he would say the three words is when you two would argue and when he felt like you were slipping through his fingers. you didn't find this intoxicating, as you knew that he loved you deep down, but you did wish he would tell you more often.

sunghoon felt the same. he wanted to tell you he loves you in multiple instances — but he could never get the words right. he really did love you. he believed that in every universe you two were meant to be and he wanted you to know that. so so badly. it didnt matter what the circumstances were in the other timeline — he just knew he loved you. and as long as you were there on his side, he would be okay.

spending more time with you

sunghoon struggled balancing out his busy schedule and you. of course, he had his days off where he spent the day with you, but majority of the time he was tired and wanted to stay home. you weren't in the scene nor did you plan to be, but you still understood that your boyfriend was a busy man. from concerts, tours, award shows and being an mc at music bank — he was bound to be tired at the end of the day. he was never home with you. of course, you did facetime daily but there was still this huge block between you two.

it wasn't that you didn't support his decision of being an idol, but it was clear that this relationship was bound to end due to his busy life — if even you didn't want it to.

communicating with you

even in the smallest inconveniences for your relationship, you wanted him to communicate. it was always number one priority on both ends to initiate communication. fortunately, there wasn't many problems in your relationship — until he started closing himself. it was completely out of the blue. from the dry replies and ignoring you when you came over to the dorms — it was obvious something was up.

you asked the guys what was wrong with him and they didn't seem to know either. you thought that maybe it was just stress from the upcoming tour. you gave him his space, hoping he would eventually tell you — but he never did.

the one thing he ended up doing — pushing you away

you ended up finding that many so called fans started saying that you were the reason he lost his spark. watching sunghoon's en-logs and seeing him the background of episodes acting weirder than usual — fans were getting suspicious. did something happen between you two? did you guys breakup? now, it wasn't any of their business, but some fans didn't understand that. when sunghoon started seeing all the tweets and sour posts about you, he was angered.

sunghoon wanted to tell everyone that it was all wrong, that you weren't the one who made him loose his spark — it was them. the media. the pressure. that you were in fact the one who made him so joyful. but he didn't. he couldn't. the only thing he could do was to hope that you didn't check any of your social medias. without knowing it, he distanced himself until you both couldn't take it anymore. one thing led to the other and your relationship with the man who was supposed to be your future husband was gone. three words, eleven letters.

permanent taglist (open — send an ask to be added) ; @ms-no1kpopstan @naespas @kyoaeri @copyhanni @lilacnini

[artdcnaldson]

Can you do arts reaction to reader just not inviting him to her next "dance" because she thought he wasnt interested so she didnt say anything please?

Maybe he saw a picture on myspace or something

Rating: T

Warnings: None really, just angst and Art being heartbroken over losing his best friend

Summary: Spring 2008. Art wishes that he had thought to unfriend you on MySpace.

A/N: ok I’m ngl I saw specific words and ran. The words in question: “Art’s reaction” and “MySpace.” Unedited

MySpace was in its death throes. You had to have been the last active user by that point, happily posting collections of photos like it was your own personal scrapbook.

He didn’t even use it himself, not really. He had when he was sixteen— filled it with pictures of him and Patrick and the shitty music he’d liked. Lately, he’d been logging in just to check on you.

Not often. He wasn’t a creep, or anything. He just wondered, sometimes. He knew you had a boyfriend, or something— you posted cryptically about seeing someone plenty enough. Art just wanted to know who the asshole was— if he knew him, if he deserved you.

Most people had switched to Facebook— including Art. He knew Patrick had an account, but he didn’t feel like adding him, and apparently the sentiment was shared.

That night, he pulled up your MySpace page, decorated in the same pink and green shades as your dorm room. It was a normal routine— look at the music you were listening to, read your blog posts, look at your photos. Casually, of course. This time, though, he froze.

Because he did know the asshole you were with— not hidden behind cryptic posts, no longer shrouded in mystery. Clear as day, in photos you’d taken on your digital camera.

Patrick Zweig.

For once, the brunet was in a nice suit, with a bow tie and everything. The first picture was of him, flipping off the camera with a smile in the middle of a formal dining room. The next few were of both of you sitting on an empty tennis court, drinking champagne straight from the bottle, and sharing cigarettes.

Look who needed a date to a “boring, formal rich people thing” after months of me going to his “boring tennis things” <3

That was all you’d said about the pictures. Art swallowed, opening up the photos to take a closer look. You were wearing pale yellow silk, like moonlight. You posted a close up of you in the dress, of pretty silver jewelry against your skin, then a few scenery shots— flowers, a fountain, the putting green at night.

That was the country club he played at when he was 15 and stayed with Patrick for the summer, the type of place that it was best to be seen and not heard. He knew that Patrick’s family were wealthy before, but that summer had put things in an entirely new perspective.

Patrick hated shit like that— the pomp and circumstance. The Patrick who had been his friend wouldn’t have been caught dead at a… he squinted to read the signage in the background of a photo— Benefit for Children of… whatever, he couldn’t make it out but he knew it was stupid.

It wasn’t Patrick. He knew it wasn’t Patrick even if they hadn’t spoken for a year.

Sometimes he asked himself why that was. Tashi dropped out, transferred to a school closer to her family. Being at Stanford had been too painful, which he understood, but he missed her. They kept in contact, which was good, because he had a suspicion he’d die if she wasn’t somewhere in his orbit.

It wasn’t lost on Art that he’d chosen Tashi over Patrick. He didn’t regret choosing Tashi, but he might regret it more had it not been for that night.

He couldn’t prove that it had been Patrick in your room, but he had a feeling.

It had gnawed at him as he sat on the floor outside of your door, nursing a beer long after you and whoever it was had finished and fallen asleep. He caught the tail end of it, even over the blaring music— the slamming headboard, the pretty noises you made when you got close.

He’d been sexiled enough by Patrick before to feel a twinge of familiarity in the muffled groans on the other side of the door. But it made no sense. Or it made perfect sense, and Patrick rarely did and that’s what made it so hard.

Art had chosen Tashi, Patrick chose what was Art’s. Tied everything in a nice little bow.

He’d been missing him. Of course he missed Patrick, in the same way he craved a cigarette after quitting. He knew it was bad for him, he wanted it anyway.

Or maybe Patrick wasn’t bad for him, and he was the one who cleaved him out of his life with a rough, messy slash. He loved Patrick, but he needed him as much as he needed a burst appendix that was poisoning him from the inside out.

If he thought about Patrick Zweig for too long, he’d get a sick feeling in his stomach, all hollow and achey. He itched to call him, to ask how he’d been, and how the tour had been, and if he was doing okay.

He let the phone ring once, twice before he hung up, feeling like an idiot. There was a thick, strangling feeling in his chest like he might cry, which was stupid.

It was all so stupid, how much he missed Patrick. Patrick, who had you, and a tennis career, and his rich parents who he suddenly wanted to be around. Maybe Patrick was better off, but it didn’t make him feel much better.

His phone buzzed on his bedside table, ripping him violently from his self pity. 

Patrick [1:26 AM]: was that an accident?

Art didn’t respond, even though he wanted to. It was probably for the best.

Sorry I made this mostly about Art missing Patrick instead of Art missing R but … alas it felt true. If I think too hard about the twelve years they spent apart I feel insane.

[belovedmuichiro]

I saw a post once that entertained the idea of Tsutako being in the background of Sanemi’s hometown in the anime, and it got me thinking about a sanegiyuu childhood meet cute.

…

- When Giyuu was 13, he took a trip with Tsutako to a neighboring city where her fiancé had come from

- Though Giyuu was a much friendlier person as a child, he was still quiet, reserved and nervous. As a result, being in a bigger city was overwhelming and he struggled to keep up with Tsutako as they walked

- Before they could reach her fiancé’s home, Giyuu was separated from her in a crowd

- Without any people skills to speak of or the confidence to ask for help, Giyuu let the crowd swallow him up until he found a small spot he could cower in

- He ended up hiding under the stairs of a shrine where nobody could see him. He cried so quietly, nobody could possibly hear him either, but a boy did miraculously find him

- The boy was strikingly beautiful with stark white hair and piercing eyes. His presence made Giyuu stop crying almost immediately, but only because he was mesmerized.

- When the boy spoke, he was blunt and sort of rude but Giyuu hung onto every word he said as if he was a kind spirit come to save him

- “You cry like my little siblings,” he observed. It was a simple, random sort of thing to say but it perplexed Giyuu so much that he didn’t cry any longer

- Giyuu learned that this particular shrine is where the boy would find one of his brothers hiding, so when he saw Giyuu curled up, he thought something might’ve happened to him

- Giyuu reluctantly explained he was separated from Tsutako while visiting. In truth, he wasn’t sure if he should trust a stranger but they were clearly of a similar age and that put him at ease compared to an adult

- The boy gave Giyuu a small canteen of water before they could continue because the crying had obviously overwhelmed him. He then asked for the fiancé’s name, which he scowled upon hearing, surprisingly knowing the person

- “Is that bad?” Giyuu nervously asked

- “He’s one of the sons of our landlord,” the boy explained, “He’s fine. His family’s a buncha dicks.”

- Profanities aside, Giyuu asked if he could lead him there, and the boy agreed

- “What did his family do?” Giyuu asked on the way

- “Their kid brother said some shit about my family bein’ too big and my brother got into a fight with him about it.”

- “How big is your family?”

- “Nine of us. I have six siblings.”

- Giyuu learned that his mother had just given birth, which prompted the rude comment from their landlord’s son. He also had a father who he didn’t want to talk about on account of him angering some violent people

- Though the boy didn’t seem terribly interested in prying into Giyuu’s life, he still asked, “What about you?”

- “I just have my sister. My parents died when I was young.”

- “Lucky you have a sister.”

- “Yes… I’m Giyuu, by the way.”

- For a moment, the boy looked hesitant to give anymore details about himself, but must’ve decided he doesn’t have much to lose.

- “Sanemi.”

- On the way to the landlord’s home, it began to rain so Sanemi pulled Giyuu aside near a food stall to wait it out.

- Giyuu, as luck would have it, did have a small amount of money on him and suggested they share a meal.

- Sanemi agreed, not letting on that he rarely has enough money to ever eat out. However, Giyuu became curious when Sanemi awkwardly held his food at his side and wouldn’t take a bite.

- He didnt want to admit it, but his plan was to pocket whatever Giyuu bought him to bring home to his family. He wasn’t going to tell Giyuu, but the boy’s earnest, honest face pulled it out of him

- In response, Giyuu bought him another and asked that he feed himself as well

- When Sanemi finally did eat, Giyuu smiled for the first time. It flustered Sanemi, who quickly learned he couldn’t handle a pretty face

- When the rain ended, people came flooding to the streets in overwhelming numbers that scared Giyuu again

- To reassure him, Sanemi grabbed his hand and returned his earlier smile, promising he’ll be okay as long as they stick together

- Giyuu took to Sanemi with awe. The crowd was still scary, but Giyuu grounded himself in the feeling of his companion’s hand and trusted his word.

- Eventually they did find themselves at the landlord’s house. Most of the family was out looking for Giyuu, but luckily Tsutako stayed and was there to greet him.

- This was also a relief to Sanemi, who wasn’t sure he would be able to resist driving his fist into the face of the boy who fought with Genya

- Sanemi intended to leave with no commotion, just an odd empty feeling at the notion of leaving his new acquaintance, but Giyuu stopped him

- “Thank you for helping me,” he said with much more confidence than the first time he spoke. “You’re very kind, Sanemi.”

- Sanemi, flustered, shrugged and promised it was no problem. “Couldn’t just leave ya there…”

- “Maybe we’ll see each other again.”

- When Giyuu said this, he held onto the hope that because Tsutako new husband had close ties to Sanemi’s, they would surely meet again one day

- It was hard to explain but Giyuu felt drawn to Sanemi, like he was a special person he was meant to meet

- Of course, he couldn’t predict the tragedy that would befall both of them

- Years later, long after Tsutako and the Shinazugawa family were murdered, Sanemi was welcomed into the Hashira and finally met Giyuu again

- Only this time, he was quiet and cold. He didn’t give any indication that he remembered Sanemi and didn’t have any of the kindness he was full of as a child. Sanemi decided that he must’ve turned into a conceited ass with no time for the little people, he probably didn’t even remember him.

- But it was impossible for Giyuu to forget who Sanemi was. Even under all the scars and curses, he was still the boy who saved him that day. But Giyuu knew they had fundamentally changed as people, and clearly Sanemi wanted nothing to do with him any longer

- Unfortunately for them, the draw remains there no matter how far apart they try to drift.

[bueckerslover]

si no le contesto - s. golbach

sam x latina ! reader

warnings: cursing in spanish, arguing, drinking. use of pet names.

translations will be provided

————————————————————————-

7 missed calls from mi amor

incoming call mi amor

answer decline

1 new voice message!

play delete

“samuel si no contestas ahora mismo ni siquiera pienses en volver a casa, me estas estresando!”

“Samuel, if you don't answer right now, don't even think about coming home, you're stressing me out!”

6 voice messages remaining

play all delete all

“sam, don't forget to pick up the advil before you get home”

“hey sam, i know you're busy but i wanted to let you know that i just finished the report and that probably when you get home i'll be sleeping be careful ok? i love you”

“sam, i'm getting worried answer your phone”

“samuel, enserio ya deja de jugar y contesta tu telefono”

“samuel, seriously, stop playing and answer your phone”

“oye, sam, ya vente a casa, ya es tarde”

“hey, sam, come home, it's already late”

“samuel contesta tu pinche telefono ahora mismo, que estas haciendo?”

“samuel, answer your fucking phone right now, what are you doing?”

the girl paced back and forth in the living room constantly looking at her phone hoping to see at least a message from her boyfriend but nothing.

samgolbach added to their story.

the girl clicked on the notification slightly sick to her stomach that not once did she get a call back from him but he posts on his story like he was not ignoring her calls a few seconds ago.

instagram opened up to the boys story, it was him at a party the flash from the phones camera being the only source of light shining in the boys face as he held a tequila shot towards the camera before shooting it down his throat making a face as the liquid made its way down.

“he could post but not answer my calls or messages? just great.” she thought. as she was analyzing the video it skipped to the next story colby’s story it was a video some what similars to sam’s but sam was in the background talking to a girl but not just any girl his ex.

they were laughing and drinking together before she grabs his hand and starts taking him upstairs that’s when the video cuts off.

not only did he not answer her calls but now he was cheating on her “wait no sam could never cheat on me he’s not the type” she thought as she sat down on the couch “or is he? no don’t doubt that he’s an amazing boyfriend he would never cheat on me” her thoughts raced as she tried to distract herself.

“think about what they could be doing right now, how hes probably doing everything he does to you” the thoughts had her head spinning.

she couldn’t have these thoughts not at this moment. she made her way into her room deciding to just sleep these thoughts away.

-

after a few minutes of tossing and turning to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in the girl was finally tired enough to let sleep take over.

the low creek of the door opening and closing shuffling and the feeling of the bed sinking behind her woke her up she knew it was him the smell of alcohol and perfume not just any perfume a cheap knock off of her favorite perfume filled her nostrils

“hey honey” spoke sam as he placed his hand on her waist “how was your night did you finish that report for work?” he didnt listen to the voice messages

“si, ya lo terminé trajiste el advil que te pedí?” “no, im sorry babe i forgot” liar “oh really?” she asked not looking at him “yea, the meeting lasted longer than i expected” “is that so?” she sarcastically replied grabbing her phone and heading to her instagram and opening it to his story “because according to you and colby’s stories you were at a party” she showed him the video as she pushed him off her to get up.

“yes, i already finished it, did you bring the advil i asked for?”

“what?” his voice slightly lowered “yea, i saw them didn’t think about restricting me first before posting did you? oh and don’t get me started on the fact that you were talking with your ex in colby’s video or the fact that she took you upstairs”

“babe, that’s not true we didn’t go upstairs” he replied as he got out of the bed “don’t try to lie your way out of this! i saw the video and it clearly shows that you two went upstairs!” she argued.

“y/n, please you know i would never do anything to hurt you!” he exclaimed as he slowly walked towards her “no sam, aver donde te vas a dormir porque aquí en mi casa ni te quiero ver”

“no sam, see where you're going to sleep because here at my house I don't even want to see you”

“what y/n you can’t be serious it’s four in the fucking morning!” “ni modo mi amor hubieras pensado en eso antes de llegar a estas horas oliendo a alcohol y perfume barato” she said as she pushed him out of her apartment closing the door in his face and locking it.

“too bad my love, you should’ve thought about that before arriving at this time smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume”

-

1:30pm

mi güero <3

y/n?

babe i’m so sorry i couldn’t make home last night my flight got delayed and i had no service at all

baby? are you mad at me? i’m sorry for not responding sooner or answering your calls you know if i could i would have please don’t be mad at me.

wait you’re probably still sleeping you most likely finished that report so late last night

yup, you did those voice messages you left i’m sorry i couldn’t answer but i’m already in my uber i have the advil and i’m bringing you your favorite breakfast from your favorite restaurant:)

as sam got off the uber making his way into his girlfriends apartment trying to balance the coffee with the breakfast bag his luggage and his phone he carefully unlocked the door making his way inside.

“y/n, honey it’s time to wake up” he whispered softly shaking the girl awake “huh?” she responded standing up and rubbing her eyes “goodmorning beautiful, go wash up while i go get your food from the kitchen” he smiled as he looked at her lovingly “sam?” “yes baby?” he asked turning to meet her eyes “what are you doing here?” she asked “what do you mean what am i doing here i live here silly” he laughed slightly “wait what” she whispered looking around.

“are you alright babe?” he asked worried going back to kneel down next to her “si estoy bien solo un poco confundida” “why, are you confused love?” he asked looking at her confused written all over her face “weren’t you at a party last night?” she mumbled confused “a party? no i was stuck at the airport in australia last night” he replied pulling out his phone to show her the pictures of him goofy around at the airport with colby.

“that’s weird never mind i think i just had a bad dream” she explained getting up to go get washed up in the bathroom.

i must’ve been dreaming because sam was clearly stuck at the airport with no signal. the things my brain comes up with when he doesn’t answer me.

———————————————————————

this is probably shit but i’ve been super busy with practices and school but i’m on break so imma try to grind and get some stuff i’ve been working on out anyway hope you enjoyed this :)

🏷️: @sturniolobendystrawsposts @hearts4chris @patscorner @lexisecretaccx @tubl-mc @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloblogs @sturniolos-blog

[lunerium]

About the post you made regarding the sebaciel kisses, can I know why they kissed in the live action? I'm yet to watch it, aware it's not canon but I'm just curious as to why they kissed. (I also saw on twitter yana didnt want romance between ciel and sebastian in the live action which is another reason I ask.) I'm not an anti just curious!

Hello, anon, thank you for your question!

The relationship between Sebastian and Ciel does differ a lot in the movie than it does in other official adaptations. While it cannot be labeled exactly as a “romance”, it’s evident that the writers were trying to pull the strings and appease to Sebaciel shippers.

The kiss scene happened because Sebastian was “administering” an antidote to Ciel, but he administered it through a kiss. It’s similar to Disney movies and how they wake up after a kiss, very fairytale-like.

Also another aspect to note about the movie is that Ciel is not actually Ciel, but Shiori, the descendant of Ciel in the 21st century, a girl who crossdresses as a boy to claim the title of Earl. It is quite the change, isn’t it? Which is another reason why the movie didn’t have such a great reception.

However, the relationship between Sebastian and this new “Ciel” is indeed portrayed in a romantic light, more than in the canon series. The movie even ends with a very romantic scene of Sebastian and Shiori looking at each other, Sebastian caressing her, while he promises to be by her side until the day she dies. Which is why I think that they changed Ciel to a girl, so that Japanese audiences wouldn’t complain about two men kissing on screen (Japan is very homophobic in reality). But since the is Shiori also wears an eyepatch, it’s clear that they wanted the audience to see Shiori as Ciel, just a genderbent version.

Basically, the only reason why Ciel is a girl was so they could get the kiss in.

On another note, Yana did make a tweet where she said that she didn’t want any romance between Sebastian and Shiori, but on a personal note, it seems that it was less about her being against sebaciel than it was about making Sebaciel a hetero couple. She has previously stated that she appreciates LGBT relationships in mainstream media, so making Sebaciel a HET ship would go against what she believes in.

This is the full kiss scene, if you’re interested. The music in the background is the theme song in the movie, which appears in the credits.

[nightcolorz]

I must confess something, I do not understand white Vox lol is it just his VA? He may be just a TV with a body but his eyes seem to be drawn as east asian and thats his most prominent human feature. Majority of the time I see people draw him as a human they actually erase his real eye shape to (I assume) make him look more white. There's no real canon so people can hc whatever but I am so intrigued by how people are interpreting him white. I promise there are nasty tech/media ceos that overwork their employees all over the world... maybe im reading too much into it because the show is otherwise verrrry western-centric. Just curious how you view it, you're definitely in the majority and i realize people like me are the outliers but just saw your post and had to ask (if you didnt mind sharing).

Anon is referring to this post btw for context: https://www.tumblr.com/nightcolorz/746235899544813568/my-hot-take-is-that-i-think-that-a-vox-human?source=share

Anon ur hella polite and ik u got good intentions so I was stressing a little over how to respond without invalidating ur headcanon cuz like, I never want to be the guy saying “this character is white and u can’t headcanon them as a racial minority” cuz that’s pretty shitty no matter what. We definitely have different takes but when I’m explaining my interpretation I don’t wanna sound like I’m trying to boss ppl around and say there’s only one way u can see these characters. This is just my personal interpretation and I was being funny in my og post implying that my interpretation is the “correct” way. But since u asked I’ll explain my reasoning why I (and prob other ppl) see Vox as extremely white lol.

I don’t take Vox’s physical appearance into account at all when thinking about his ethnicity cuz in a show were everyone is pretty racially ambiguous design wise Vox is one of the most ambiguously humanoid characters, like my guy literally has a tv for a head with eyes and a mouth, and that’s it. I don’t see ur point about his eyes at all tbh, to me Vox’s vaguely slanted eyes have always come off more like a devious squint than an ethnic feature. Even still I don’t read slanted eyes as Asian automatically so it never occurred to me.

I don’t read as Vox as white bcus of his VA being white or him being a tech bro billionaire (but ig they play a part). I read Vox as white mostly bcus I see his background as a former religious extremist/cult leader from the 50s with a skill in life and in death for male manipulating ppl and using them for his own gain as very white and western. (I got this info from his official reference sheet for auditioning va’s, here that is)

His capitalistic ideals and business practices r meant to mirror (extremely white) billionaires like Musk and Bezos, which adds to my perception of him. Of course being a billionaire tech guy is not a western white man exclusive thing, but I feel that if we were meant to perceive Vox as someone not from America that would definitely be coded or in some way communicated. And I say this with as little ill will as possible, but for me I wouldn’t want to perceive Vox as an East Asian tech bro billionaire specifically bcus there r negative stereotypes and connotations attached there. East Asian men have a history of being negatively stereotyped as corrupt tech business owners. I don’t think u are trying to imply those stereotypes with ur head canon (frankly it’s hard to avoid negative stereotypes in fiction a lot of the time bcus stereotypes encompass such a vast range of things that its hard to take them all into account). But regardless, it’s smth we should try to be conscious of.

Anyways, I also usually take these character’s personalities and values, self image, etc into account when im thinking about race, bcus race is more then color, and especially for characters with lives and personalities based in much less tolerant time periods, it’s significant to consider how race would play a role in forming the way they navigate the world. Based on how Vox behaves I can’t see him as being racially marginalized. I’m gonna compare Vox to alastor a little cuz alastor is canonically creole and I think he serves as a good reference for someone I perceive as not white in comparison to Vox and how I think he differs and contradicts the experiences of a racial minority.

Vox to me comes off as someone who thinks he is entitled to power, respect, privilege, etc, which is a very standard type of attitude for a white man who was alive in the 1950s to have. He’s very emotionally immature and volatile, doesn’t seem to concern much over his public image beyond petty dick measuring contests with alastor (he regularly publicly has angry tantrums and doesn’t break a sweat over how this will affect his status). He obviously cares about it (scolding Valentino for embarrassing him and such) but he doesn’t seem to worry about loss of reputation in any sort of real way. I get the impression that Vox has always had at least a standard amount of social standing and privilege and can’t see a life for himself without the fundamental privilege he feels owed there to support him. He’s basically a man baby, a man baby who still manages to garner power and respect effortlessly (it comes naturally to him) while remaining whiny and insecure. Very white man of him! White man behavior!

in comparison, Alastor, (who I do not read as white) is always frantically clinging to his composed self image and his power as if it will slip away from him if he loosens his grasp at all. He has an extremely firm grip on his composure to the point where he never allows anyone to see him slip at all, let alone frown (despite his mental health and emotional well being being equally fragile as Vox’s). Alastor understands deeply how little the world owes him and how difficult and unreliable his acquiring of status actually is. He is borderline neurotic about retaining his power and staying on top. Despite the smile, Alastor is always defensive and fearful, picking fights with anyone he thinks might be a threat like a small dog or a prey animal would. Meanwhile, Vox conducts himself like a man with nothing to loose. I feel like Vox grew up with money and doesn’t know poverty or a lack of privilege in any intimate way that would drive him to guard it in anyway beyond flippant. To Vox power, status, and privilege are inherent. Same can’t be said for alastor.

tldr in conclusion Vox’s brand of bad feels very specific to a white man, alongside his emotional immaturity and his attitude, mindset, and behavior. This is why I see him as white asf, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong or it’s in anyway less correct to headcanon him as a different race. That’s just how I see him. Thank u for sending the ask anon it was pretty interesting to write! Have a good day! (btw i love Vox he’s one of my fav character lol me calling him a white as shit privileged entitled man baby douchebag is out of love and all I find interesting and fun about him)

[saibug1022]

Love, I See You Now

Word Count: 1.1k

Aerin Valleros x Asterin Nightbloom (m!elf!mc), background mentions of Asterin x Tyril and Asterin x Mal

A/N: Everyone say thank you to @gretchen-nightbloom for their post on Aerin's shadow form and @oh-so-youre-a-nerd being the one to find and send me the post. Also it is late and I am tired so this is unedited. If you see a typo no you don't. Title from Underground but Cody Fry

Slash. Strike. Block. Roll. Arrow. Bind. Roll. Shatter.

The battle for the Whitetower Rift was in full swing and Asterin could barely remember a time before it nor imagine a time after. All they could focus on was the split second they were in and what they had to do next. If they got distracted for even a moment they were dead.

He rolled and fired off cleansing fire in one direction, not even watching long enough to see it hit. He brought up his staff to block a sword and lashed out with his chain, entangled the soldier's legs and yanking her down. He'd long lost track of his friends and allies. He kept slipping in blood and he didn't even know where he was injured.

As it turned out, his leg was injured. He tried to lean on his left leg to sidestep an arrow but instead a flame of white hot pain burst from his leg and he cried out. He didn't get the chance to remember why he was stepping before the arrow found its mark in his chest.

Asterin didn't even scream as he fell, only made a choked off groan. It didn't even hurt much at first, he just stared at the arrow in his chest in shock. Then the pain hit all at once, so intense he couldn't cry out, only whimper as it overwhelmed his senses.

“ASTERIN!” A voice called his name and Asterin almost dismissed it as a hallucination. It sounded like Aerin but it was echoing, like a chorus of whispers repeated his every word.

A soldier appeared above him as his vision washed in and out. He could only make out the sword the soldier held from how it glinted in the sun. The soldier raised the sword and Asterin felt tears gather in his eyes.

He'd failed.

Asterin made one single mistake and now he was losing everything. Any chance to heal. Any chance to go on true adventures instead of desperate quests. Any chance to rebuild things with Aerin. He was losing Tyril and Mal and any life he could have had with them. He was losing Imtura and Nia. He was leaving Kade alone.

He didn't want to die…

Suddenly the air dropped so drastically Asterin could feel the frost on his armor. The sunlight seemed to be edged with violet.

Then a bolt of pure darkness armed right over Asterin and slammed into the chest of the ashen soldier about to kill him. Asterin's vision was still fading but as he tried to focus it he caught glimpses of a fight and the suffocating feeling of Shadow Magic. For a brief moment he wondered if Valax saw him fall and had betrayed her mother to save him.

But when Asterin's vision cleared it wasn't Valax kneeling down next to him. It was Aerin. Not as Asterin knew him now. His skin was gray with black veins cutting across it like cracks. His eye were a familiar silver that chilled Asterin to the bone. It was exactly how he'd looked when he'd betrayed them all to the Shadow Court, when he sacrificed Nia, when he nearly killed Asterin.

Aerin reached for him but Asterin flinched away, trying to put distance between them. He was already in so much pain, the agony alone would suffocate him. He didnt know what Shadow Aerin would do but his addled brain didnt care. He just didnt want to hurt anymore.

“No, it's okay,” Aerin spoke, his voice gentle but frantic like one would speak to an injured animal. Asterin supposed that was what he was. “Please, stop moving, you'll only hurt yourself.”

“And you won't?” Asterin tried to scoff but instead his words came out slurred and breathless.

“Of course I won't,” Aerin promised. “I swore to you I would never hurt you again. But you're seriously hurt in the midst of a massive battle, I need to get you to a medic.”

“A medic?” Asterin hummed. It was loud like one would expect to find in a battle. And he supposed he did need a medic. He did have an arrow in his chest. “Nia's a medic. Let's find Nia.”

“Perfect,” Aerin nodded and came to Asterin's side.

This time the elf didn't flinch away and let Aerin scoop him up. Normally he'd wonder where Aerin's shadow form came from and how he was able to pick up Asterin, but all Asterin could focus on was the whimper he let out as the wound was shifted. It was only worse as Aerin started running.

“AH!” Asterin cried, reflexively curling around himself. “Stop, stop it hurts, please.”

“Soon, stay strong for me Asterin,” Aerin promised.

“You promised you wouldn't hurt me anymore,” Asterin whimpered, but every step Aerin took sent shockwaves of pain through Asterin's entire system. Aerin made a face like someone had burned him, tears making his dulled skin sparkle.

Asterin was shifted once more and the agony that washed over him was like nothing he could have ever imagined. He heard a scream but he couldn't be sure if it was from him or the battle. His vision completely blacked out and he would have let the darkness take him if not for a cold hand taking his.

“Asterin, please, please open your eyes,” Aerin's voice pleaded. He liked Aerin. “You're stronger than this. You're the strongest person I've ever known. You won't let all this end to a stray arrow. Open your eyes, darling, please.”

His eyes were closed? He opened them again and saw Aerin amidst a cloud of white and gold. The gray was fading from his skin as he gripped Asterin's hands in both of his. He looked beautiful. So beautiful. With the shadow or without he would always be beautiful because he was Aerin.

“Shadow…?” Asterin wondered, his thoughts not quite making it to his mouth.

“I thought it was gone,” Aerin admitted. “But when I saw you on the ground and heard you scream something came over me. It was an anger and fear I'd never felt before and it brought forth whatever traces of Shadow Magic were left in me.”

“You're okay?” Asterin asked. “Still my Aerin?”

“Of course,” Aerin swore and squeezed Asterin's hand. “I'll always be your Aerin.”

“Good,” Asterin muttered. “I lo’ my Aerin…”

There was more to say, it was on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't find the strength to form the words. He thought he could hear Nia now and there was something bright but Asterin was too tired to look. He tried to fight the darkness like Kade always did for him, he really tried, but his head lulled and his eyes fell shut.

“Asterin, no, open your eyes, ASTERIN!”

Eventually he couldn't open them again.

[rewritingcanon]

ok here are some of the one part melbourne hpcc play highlights (part one only because i need to make two seperate posts… they’re too long together) in an attempted chronological order:

part one

first off, why so many dilfs? like not to be like this person about a family friendly play but seriously harry? draco? RON? RON RON RON OH MY GOD 🧎‍♀️ michael whalley please one chance

ron’s voice was very… mhmm. it was good.

harry got more attractive as he got more depressed too..

and also draco’s buttons and cuffs were sparkling and he had many silver rings on his fingers. ill leave it at that

anyways if we were to talk about actual content: the first train carriage scene was so gold omg. right before it started - karl sat down in scorpius’s carriage, seemed to realise who he was sitting with and then immediately this look of horror crossed over his face and he BOLTED away 😭😭 he ended up sitting with james sirius and craig loll

yann and polly were in a carriage together the cuties

also polly was in bicycle shorts the whole time. it was like a cloak and then just black bicycle shorts fr. idk if the actress just didnt have her pants or sum because i found out later that she was a cover (which is CRAZY because she played myrtle and polly so extremely well, she literally sounded exactly like myrtle im not kidding, aisha aidara has so much talent fr)

rose hostile side eye at scorpius when him and albus are talking for the first time i swearrrr shes so funny she was literally like this the entire time

rose looked so pleased with herself when she said “the rumour is that hes voldemort’s son! ☺️☺️” then she realises that both scorp and al are extremely uncomfortable and goes “😧😧😧well its not like its true! 😰 you clearly have a nose 😝” shes so funny bro

when albus was sorted into slytherin craig seemed to be the only one (besides scorpius) excited about it but then composed himself when he saw everyone else’s reactions

in wand dance (which is still the funkiest song of the whole score)— albus’s movement with his cloak wasnt as graceful as everyone else’s transitions in the dance, like he was messing up even that. he was more flinging it then twirling it around and his expression was one of a constant state of annoyance, like he’s aware he’s always messing up but he can’t change it because he doesn’t know how to. its why im grateful for sitting so close to the stage because i don’t think i would’ve recognised this (and other later acting i’ll talk about)

in between the first and second year with draco and harry mirroring each other was not gone unnoticed but was funny asf still.

like here’s harry trying to talk to his kid when karl runs up with his whole belly out wanting an autograph

and then you have draco who yann walks by once and he’s immediately glaring this boy down. like yann literally started ZOOMING AWAY 🏃‍♂️💨 bc draco’s intimidation tactics are so intense

scorpius sniffs rose twice whilst trying to flirt with her. w rizz.

the scene with amos, harry and albus was just ungh *chef’s kiss*

you can literally see the plan forming in albus’s head as he listens to them and his anger at his dad as he’s listening to them, harry’s discomfort at lying to amos whilst also being put to blame for cedric’s death yet again and amos’ bumbling confused pain. like idk george henare plays amos so well it was literally painful to watch

delphi’s eye makeup was so slay. tbh everything about her character was amazing

idk why i just noticed it but delphi literally acts like scorpius when her and albus first meet. awkward, unassuming, clumsy and nonthreatening and seemingly very sweet and funny. hmm.

if you take into account that she was in the background during the 9 3/4 scenes and have the opinion that she was planning on meeting albus for years, and observing him and his family the entire time, then she probably also purposefully tried to mimic the only person albus was known for getting along with, which was scorpius. HMMMM.

when delphi first meets harry she was smiling at him and looking at him with these wide eyes that can be mistaken for awe but as soon as she and amos were out of his line of sight and were leaving the stage she stopped smiling immediately but continued to look at him. the focus lights were off her and the scene was already changing but I NOTICED and it was fucking ominous

i could see how some of the effects worked when sitting up close. for instance i know that the incendio flames and the consequent fire were from tubes that were set into the pillars of st jeromes church. i could see some of the strings when things were flying around. bane’s two-body centaur was more noticeable and less smooth. when ron got kissed by the dementor i thought he was kissing back because he was discreetly holding the dementor by the waist 😭😭 then i realised he was hooking himself onto the dementor to be carried off

BUT there were some tricks that even i literally couldn’t explain and the one that comes to mind is when harry and ginny appeared in the bed during the post-nightmare bedroom scene. like how tf did that happen?? how????? i literally cannot think of anything besides the the actor and actress hiding in the mattress and then emerging BECAUSE LITERALLY HOW ELSE

ginny and harry slandering dumbledore in the bedroom scene 🫶🫶

draco looking at the audience like he’s ryan in the office every time harry says something. especially during the scene in the ministry meeting where harry says his scar is hurting. bro was so done with him.

when albus and scorpius were escaping the hogwarts express scorpius attempted to climb out onto the train’s roof first and he was sticking his leg out and pulling back in, and then sticking his leg out and pulling back in and then he turns to albus like 😧🫴 “i have never done this before bro” look on his face so albus pushes him away and just yanks himself out 💀

“my son is missing” “SO IS MINE” so good, the line delivery was perf

you know i’ve heard lots of people go on and on about how nyx calder plays the perfect scorpius and i totally get the hype now. even the way he stands is accurate to how i envision scorpius. and he’s always fidgeting with his hands, giving this impression of a cute little dorky german boy. his posture is always super straight and his hands are usually clasped which makes him look proper but awkward and very sweet, i love him, very superb acting through body language

speaking of which when amos was roasting the shit out of albus, scorpius looked so terrified. he was gripping albus’s robes and trying to pull him away 😭

“go to your room” being the first thing out of scorpius’s mouth to albus as soon as he’s polyjuiced as harry 💀

ron/albus tried to hide with scorp and delphi when hermione and harry were coming and they pushed him out of the office forcibly 😭😭

albus/ron was the number one instigator that whole scene was fucking funny and it was the first time i could watch it without cringing

when ron blocked the door from hermione he squatted and started t-posing in front of the door and went “im 🕺not🕺blocking🕺anything.” this whole scene was probably the funniest part of the play especially the “I WANT ANOTHER BABY OR A HOLIDAY AND I WILL INSIST ON IT”

also the line where hermione is like “there better not be another stink pellet in there” to ron/albus is replaced by “there better not be another romantic firework display in there” i love them sm

when ron/albus said to hermione that she married ron because of his “puckish sense of fun,” he was saying it a little flatly with this big awkward smile on his face and he was double thumbs-upping her. it looked so fourteen year old core lmfaooo

scorpius started hyperventilating on the ground when delphi and albus got swallowed by the book case and literally started crawling on all fours like *pat pat pat* cmon scorpius *pat* think!! *pat pat*

scorpius standing in between both albus and delphi talking… farther off in the forbidden forest as they were laughing. he looked so defensive like his hands were clenched and his whole body was tense, and when delphi said “wizzo” it seemed to snap scorpius out of whatever he was thinking and he went up to them and said (very sharply, mind you) “what’s wizzo?” like that’s HIS catchphrase. bro was jealoussssss heheeehehe

and when albus quizzed delphi instead of scorpius like usual, scorpius looked like he had been slapped

then when delphi said “im flattered but do you honestly think i can pass as a student” to albus scorpius started shaking his head aggressively and not so inconspicuously doing the cut-it-out hand gesture to albus 😭😭

when delphi kissed albus, scorpius flinched… and then slowly put his own cheek out and delphi literally was like “mmm no” 😭

scorpius said “you look sweaty and red” to albus after the kiss, it didnt sound light-hearted like the other times it did when i saw the play, but accusatory. hmm. interesting.

scorpius also said “sweaty and red” instead of “pale and red” like the script and i might be biased and reading too much into it, but i was thinking about why they might change something so minuscule. maybe because “sweaty” gives a grosser connotation then “pale,” and i genuinely think in this revised version of the play albus isn’t supposed to have a crush on delphi

when scorpius and albus are alone together looking at the school, and talking about how beautiful it is and how they each view their lives at present, scorpius was looking out at the view the whole time but halfway through the scene albus stops looking at the view and starts looking at scorpius instead!!! um!!! with this very soft look on his face as well, until they’re interrupted by hearing their parents come. guys. im not kidding. its so gay usually but up close the play is even worse my jaw was dropping.

albus’s “ZORRY HERZMIONE I ZINK HE HAZ GOZZEN YOU MIZZED WIZZ ZUMUN ELZZZE” in bad german accents and scorpius’s very manly, very loud “YEZZZZ 👹💪” 

when albus and scorpius got caught by harry and co. albus went “hi dad 😙” and his voice was so high, bro was scared 😭😭

i have to think about whether i miss gryffindor albus or not. maybe. i think i kinda do bc it shows how albus being a loser isn’t dependent on his house (and neither is his connection to scorpius). but yeah that whole plotline was scrapped and albus just remained in slytherin in this timeline.

when harry told albus to stay away from scorpius, harry tried to leave it at that and leave but albus started to chase harry out of the hospital because bro was that desperate. his feet were literally bare (im pretty sure this is in the script too but seeing it live is so… god.)

the seperate scene where ron and hermione meet each other in private at the top of the staircase is merged with the scene where albus meets the new not-funny ron. and they both meet on top of the staircase with the light spotlighting them, and its very clear that they are in love with each other

hermione is about to walk off when ron calls her back and she immediately turns around and goes right back to him, her face is so happy 😭

and its so sad because this whole scene mirrors scorpius and albus so exactly in the staircase ballet. like if not in love, why mirroring ron and hermione throughout the play? (even in dark world, which i’ll get into later…)

anyways, staircase ballet: scorpius and albus stare at each other total of three times. and when i mean stare, i mean the light reflects off of them and they are frozen in prolonged silence (longing). once when the staircases meet, another when albus is on the ground and scorpius is at the top of the staircase, unreachable from him. last time is when the staircases stop at a cross section, and they’re standing, looking at each other. and from my angle i could see albus’s face the best, and i feel like it could be interpreted by either seeming apologetic or desperate, either way there was this very pleading look on his face.

they both froze when the saw each other and still look on the verge of moving to one another and then the staircases move off as soon as scorpius starts walking towards him.

albus looks so disappointed because HE WANTED SCORP TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE because he’s too scared to do it himself. he ends up just sitting on the staircase and dropping his bag beside him in defeat, and looking away. scorpius still stands and watches albus go off. yah its as queer as i remember it. glad this wasnt cut.

draco was fixing and adjusting the furniture whilst duelling harry. idk if the furniture just wasnt on the mark on stage but it was fucking adorable. he kept fixing the chairs up and then patting it nervously ☹️ idc if it wasn’t intentional it seemed in character to me for him to just be a total busybody even in the midst of a duel

ginny’s micro-expressions at draco when he talks about how lonely he felt at school were amazing. harry looked a little uncomfortable when he was speaking but ginny looked really sympathetic to him, and draco notices this and thats why he speaks on “i know you must feel the same ginny” and shes like “i do” which immediately changes harry’s discomfort to shock, then i feel like he starts taking draco seriously

seen the play three times and during the fight scene with scorpius and albus, scorpius has acted differently each time. first time, scorpius was literally sobbing when talking to him, second time he was literally screaming at him in anger, third time he was just disappointed asf in him. i think this time was the best for his characterisation but god it hurt each time

mcgonagall’s “if i didn’t see you, then i didn’t see you” and she does this big over-exaggerated shrug and starts creeping away like a cartoon character to insinuate to albus and scorpius that shes leaving. i love her 😭

also when albus and scorpius were talking about their next plan i realised their bags are so different: albus has this raggedy big ass brown messenger bag and scorpius has this shiny, small, flashy, zesty little pouch. there are two types of gays.

myrtle was literally hitting on scorpius lmfao scorpius was just like 😨 the entire time

and of course myrtle’s “hello draco 😏 heloooooo harryyy 😻” nah because i get her

craig is such a fucking busy body he was trying to manage harry, ginny, draco AND mcgonagall and only stopped when draco pushed him away and death glared him 😭

erm why was umbridge hot asf. idfk the dark world looks really good on her guys

here’s part two

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi miss L, i have a spiritual/religious question and i don't know anyone else who could answer it.... since i was a kid i've been attracted to tarot, spirituality, mystical explanations of the worlds workings, astrology, all that good stuff. i never used to connect my spirituality to a single higher power, and i never had any issues with this. for a few years i've been wanting more than just a disturbingly accurate tarot spread and i feel compelled towards god. i'm not sure how to word it honestly! i keep getting messages all around me telling me the saint that watches over me, and that god is there too. so here's my issue.

whenever i reach out and pray or do any kind of ritual or reach out specifically to god or a saint, my life immediately starts going haywire. yesterday i set up a small shrine in my room for my dead kitty since i've been feeling better about her passing and i prayed a little. i asked for sign that i was going in the right direction, and hours after i prayed, our sink plumbing got clogged, my cat (living) ran out and had to be caught, my mom dropped a whole bowl of food, and i wasn't able to pick up groceries bc the bank cards wouldnt work. this never happens in my household, we've been joking that we're cursed. this happens everytime i try to reach out to god. the worst time was when my mom lost her job, dad crashed his car, and i kept having panic attacks out of the blue for a week. i freaked out and took everything i said back and bathed in salt water for hours hoping i could cleanse whatever happened to me. it worked and my life was back to normal the next day.

do you have any advice? i would love to put my trust in a higher power as i've never been religious before, but smthn is going wrong somehow.

thank you for reading, i love seeing you on the dash and your music is so soothing and nostalgic. much love!! <3 <3 <3 <3

so sweet, and caring, thankyou u//u...im sorry things have been difficult :< The following message does not in any way endorse the claim that i understand God, that God could ever be understood, or that any one of us should every try to understand the -inner workings- of God ! purely my feelings v v v

i relate to ur background cus i grew up w no religion, my parents didnt talk about any kind of woo-woo stuff, my dads dad was woo-woo AF and my dad haaaaated it so he rejected all of it so i was pree much just a blank slate. but for some reason i was just REALLY obsessed w magical thinking and the like. believed in god spirits nature deities angels demons magic aliens and i was totaly engrossed in ~my secret world~. i was kinda scared of religion tho i viewed it in a bad light since i was learning about it during the george bush post-9/11 era & for some reason my child self was rly interested in consuming critique of america , iraq war / westboro baptist church type stuff , from an outsider's perspective i saw religion as something american people used as justification for committing atrocities & crazy power trips , which, i mean.. anyways

it didnt help me trust God xD but many of my beliefs remained into my teens i just didnt have any outlet for them. so i got into astrology around 15/16, started learning more about tarot & occultish type things, crytstals, all those subjects intrigued me very much. but i felt the same way as you, like, something was still lacking from it, even when i got these super profound tarot readings, or read my birth chart a million times over looking for clues about ~wtf is this stupid life for~ , i never felt safe. never felt assured, never felt i could trust myself or my future. it was an odd period, early 20s. but then kinda same as u, as my knowledge on these topics expanded i started to notice the quality of Holiness a lot more. the more i learned about different religions the more i realized how connected it all was, and how religion connects to "the occult", and magic, light and dark, i find it very hard to put into words. i just started to find myself actually really earnestly believing in God in a way i never thought i could? Like reading the bible & being completely enthralled, i NEVER woulda thought. i started to feel way safer in the world even tho im still not "christian" technicaly. but i believe in jesus now and it makes me feel safe on a cellular level.

i believe the real jesus was wholly non judgemental and loved everyone no matter what, the thing that susses me out about Religious Institutions was always the judgement that can spawn from it. misses the point of everrything in my opinion.

its kinda wild actually cus when i used to be into like, trash reality tv ghost hunting shows, i remember there was one ep where this psychic was talking about how she always prays to jesus for protection before doing a reading or entering a haunted place. that really intrigued me cus i thought jesus and psychic automatically cancelled each other out. i think that moment rly opened up the rabbitehole and it was so mundane like wtf. still rememebr it tho!

sorry im really in a typing mood tonight.. So my next point was gonna be that, just because i started to really believe in god and jesus and really PRAY for protection & guidance, my life did not get easier xD like i would say the past 6 years have been nothing short of a shit show. my life was fucked before that too tho so its hard to compare, but still, its safe to say my shift in perspective actually brought a lot of chaos into mylife. the point of it, i feel, is that i had to dismantle it in order to truly Live in the frequency of trusting God. because this was new to me! i wanted to trust God, i put out the energy of seeking God, and God was like ok hold on tight..

So now i'm here all these years later like, oh yeah God is real and i love him and it's all real. it's CEMENTED into me lol. When i used to say i trust God it still felt like i was asking permission to be able to feel that way. but now i really really do. And messed up stuff will keep happening forever because there needs to be light & dark, there can't b one without the other. But now i have faith in a really personal way that i wld never attempt to transfer onto another like even by talking about these experiences & concepts i still feel like i don't want to prove anything. except that it's worth it to keep trying, i guess :]

and OK this is really just how i feel like take it with a grain of salt , but from what i've gathered, if you believe in energy entities & astral happenings & whatnot, well. it's my opinion that the invisible low frequency parasites that feed on many ppl's dread & fear, when they're attached to u and u begin to raise your vibration, they get very upset and throw a fit. like think of a demon being exorcised, u know, u imagine it having a total fit in a desperate fight for it's life. if ur appeasing the demon and letting it use you then of course it's going to keep things on an even keel, u kno?

taking a salt bath was a good thing to do tho like one of the best things <3 its also good to have crosses or your holy item of choice around the house, light white candles, organize clutter. pray a lot like every time u feel happy and safe or notice something beautiful say thanku to God.. talk to your angels and encourage them i pray a lot specifically to strengthen them, upgrade their armor n shih...i ask them to work for my loved ones, i try to be concentrated on them, visualize them around me all the time, visualize them standing guard outside every door. i feel this kinda stuff increases ur Holy EXP and over time your spiritual armor gets stronger, bad entities move on and things in life start really flow. the trust just has to b there first, and it will be, so long as u allow it <3

it just takes time, and like i said i dont want to prove anything or be The Convincer, but if u were already having feelings to go down this path i recommend not giving up and let God carry u through those tough situations instead of seeing them as an absence of God or God's Wrath. just keep praying cus it can't hurt right, even if it's just a way to occupy your mind with kind thoughts about your friends and family, there's no downside to prayer. its your own journey so u just gotta live it and feel it out ^^ but pls dont feel u are being punished by God or demons or anything else! So many "bad" things that happen end up being neutral or even "good" in the long run. We can never foresee the reasoning behind God's plan ~~~

yeah, this was a long one, wow...i drank a energy drink 12 hours ago i think it made me hyper.. well have a swell evening if ur reading this anon!! o also i liek to listen to psalms before bed to help me feel calm i feel like it helps bring in angels. i think i will do so now, thanks for the Q i hope things improve for u very soon. Good night anon < 3 3 3 PMD 9

[bunneis]

I am super excited for the TTYD remake, so much so I looked through the trailer to see if I could find any differences, and there are quite a lot!

under a read more bc it got kinda long ^^;

as BOOOOOOOO 30 image limit, full post here

the intro song is from paper mario 64. the first time i saw the trailer i thought it was gonna be a 64 remake

not only that but the partners show up in mario's house!

3. not only that, but the poster in the background is the map from the world of paper mario 64!

credits to suppermariobroth twitter

4. pa-patch seems to have his eyepatch on his other eye

5. not a change but celebrate people, they left the scene where the guys getten beaten by the piantas! but also new aspect ratio so you can see more on scree

6. a line originally said by goombella is now said by frankly

7. goombella and frankly now have back sprites

8. boggly woods now has a heavier sunset tint, and another section looks more cyan

9. there is a new toad npc! they have a completely new design and there was no npc in this area!

10. so i wanted to check if they removed the skulls from rogueport but there wasnt any section in the trailer where skull's originally were, but the fences are taller, they also added a sign to the help center (where you access side quests) and its clearer the secret areas where you can go

11. im honestly surprised they didnt change flurrie's design lol but i did notice they removed her jiggle physics (just like valentina from smb rpg rip) but i did notice her intro scene is zoomed and the petals are animated

12. there is a very smooth music transition between the overworld music and battle music, might just be a trailer thing though

13. Superguard has its own text instead of just saying 'great'

14. i noticed how goombella has new expression before the blooper boss fight, and then i noticed the partners have more expressions and so do the NPCs!

(for her lip lock attack)

15. also, the attack bar thing looks different

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Wait I'm confused. You never even said anything hateful about Shouto so what are they on about? Seriously anons come out with some crazy shit sometimes.

(Answering to this post.)

Yeah, i feel the same, especially Shouto of all characters.

Only thing i could think is that i said i didnt like how Todo-family plotline was handled. And i said Ochaco-Toga interaction is handled better than Shouto-Dabi's because once again, i think issues with Todo-Family isnt adressed or solved in any way. And last one is i said Deku sees villains as more human than Ochaco and Shouto, and its true.

Shouto is child soldier. Whole his arc is about he is stucked in his mind. He couldnt even get along with hero friends at the beginning of this series. Also, he has zero mercy and sempathy for villains. He has no issues with violently attacking and murdering them. He couldnt care less about villain worldview until his family member is involved. Its sad but its true, its called character flaw and it makes sense considering his background.

Ochaco is similar except she is not necessarely violent because she wasnt raised that way. She doesnt have much interaction with villains, never once she thought they have reasons or story, even though she had many interactions with Toga, she made it clear she couldnt care less about her because she is villain, until she saw her crying.

But this doesnt mean they are bad people. Shouto and Ochaco are kind as Izuku is. They are just different characters with different story. Shouto was raised (and abused) with very limited worldview, he was born in hero world. Ochaco is just normal girl who has normal life. Izuku's story is different because he was outcast once.

Izuku has many scenes since the beginning, that he wonders why they are like that, and while its imperfect and very flawed, he tries to understand them. Literally Allmight explains, at USJ arc, the reason Deku could control his power because he viewed Shigaraki at HIS WORST as human being. Though he became violent after Overhaul arc because it isnt just Shouto, Izuku thing, its about hero society turning children into soldiers.

I think those three have their own specialities, with Izuku who can see other villains as victim too, with Ochaco who has a lot more human approach and see the needs of people, with Shouto who can immediately see the similarities between him and his villain foil. And Izuku tend to focus on saving strangers while Ochaco and Shouto tends to focus on their close relationships, which is a big flaw for both sides. Thats exactly why they should've talked . This is why i wrote this and this and hoped that they have some talking about villains and its really shame that it didnt happen.

I think some people see character or writing criticism as hate, even though you just want better writing for your faves and story.

[thatdeadaquarius]

A TAG GAME?! :O :D !!

✨️💙✨️

♡ 3 Lovely Ships:

Soukoku (i just think theyre so ✨️silly✨️ & couples that are @ war r my fav so- 🥰) also i recently discovered MANGA soukoku??!?!?! like theyre literally

✨️🍒🍑🍓🩹🩸💀🔫🏳️‍🌈🚔🗡🍉🍊🍋✨️ <- this

EraserMic THIS SHIP HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE THE YEAR THE DAMN ANIME CAME OUT, IN THE YEAR OF YOU, OUR CREATOR 2016 I THINK 😭 (sagau ref lol)

IVE LITERALLY CEMENTED THEM SO HARD AS MY GAY DADS THAT I FUCKING FORGOT THEYRE NOT CANON- i get confused when theyre on screen and not more coupley 💀 biggest comfort ship <3

Myself / the near entirety of Genshin Impact Playable Characters LMAOO IM A POLYAMOROUS SL*T IDK WHAT U WANT FROM MEEEE-

♡ First Ship:

Wow, back in ye olden days.. hmm... i wanna say Sasuke/Naruto lmao, I DIDNT REALIZE HUT I HEARD THE WORST NEWS EVER RECENTLY THAT IT WAS ORIGINALLY A BL INSTEAD OF AN ACTION THINGY AND THEY WOULDVE DATED 😭😭

♡ Last Song:

Labour by Paris Paloma! Im so fucking obsessed it just embodies the entirety of Feminine Rage I need- and how hard women work all the fucking time!

(Idk ig this is part of the template but-)

Live, Laugh, Love Hatsune Miku too

@fandangotales lol

♡ Last Movie:

Cocaine Bear!

Kinda cgi gory, mostly gross, sometimes i gagged 😭, watched it in theaters and it was so hilarious tho, the dialogue was like, super natural too! Like realistic jokes i would make in those situations lmao

Hope i can write dialogue that natural one day :O

♡ Currently Reading:

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System!

I fucking love this light novel (AND ITS ARTIST?! I SAW IT IN A BOOKSTORE AFTER KNOWINF THEM OFF TWITTER AND WAS IN SHOCK-)

♡ Currently Watching:

Bungou Stray Dogs & Saving 80,000 Gold In Another World For My Retirement!

♡ Currently Consuming:

Some fucking stellar Boba teas from my local shop in town! I got a sort of strawberry frozen one with whip cream and mango jelly stars + lychee popping pearls And my quintessential Thai Tea w/classic tapioca my beloved <3

Yes... I am a fancy drink bitch 😔, now you all know my secret

♡ Currently Craving:

God who wouldn't I kill for some pasta rn, like penne with the sauce and the cheeseeee UGH 😫 </3

♡ HAHA IM TAGGING:

(no pressure babes!)

@mists-reading-nook (UR SOLDIER/POET/KING WORSHIP IS CONSUMING MY WORLDBUILDING HEART- I CHECK TO SEE IF U EVER POST ANYTHING/POST ABT KING BC ILY UR WRITING SM<3)

@lonelyrosegold (i just found u but i rlly loved ur background music about Linked Universe, which I also just found out about lmao)

@bk-4-trash-fire (the OG, the SUPREME, My Liege 😌✨️ ur actually one of the first ppl that rotred my brain over genshin sagau! Thank u for all ur cool ideas that i may or may not write an entire short story abt some day lmao! The Possession AU i made was partially inspired by you!<3)

@intothegenshinworld (new for me but awesome writer!! I cant wait to see more of ur stuff!)

@chocogi (UR PUPPETEER AU PARTIALLY INSPIRED MY POSSESSION AU! thanks for the cool content!!)

♡

@fandangotales & @undecidingfate

THANK YOU BOTH?! FOR THE TAG 😭 It sounds silly but ive never gotten tagged for these things before & i was so happy to see it ;u; !!

More asks answered/posts to come my fellow zodiac signs!!

Safe travels,

💀♒️

[sc0rfanos]

Junglekawa/QTMilk/_faefox_/vvolfae

I saw this post and wanted to help get the information out there about someone who has allegedly abused an animal.

some background on junglekawa, they were an ex of glip's and remained friends. after the bigfluff logs came out they began blocking anyone calling glip out. when approached about it they responded with this.

the other person she mentions in the tweet being marl, glip's ex husband. she was also accused of possibly hiding glip and their family at their home after they had moved which was..kind of funny tbh. the response.

basically confirming marl tried to get her to do things with dogs "in secret". obviously anyone would be disgusted by this and back off! she even went into detail with someone in DMs.

ok knowing all this i want to point out these images from the post i linked earlier.

junglekawa allegedly (according to glip) sent assumedly sexual photos of herself with her dog to (im assuming) marl and then later claimed these photos were 'staged'. worth noting that glip also didnt call her out on this either which is another example of them protecting abusers in some way. also, they seem angrier at the fact that junglekawa lied at their expense and not as angry at the fact that she abused a dog.

since all of this junglekawa had deleted twitter and tumblr and remade under a new name.

in case there needs to be proof of this, here is the original account they remade after deleting junglekawa that links to this current one.

and to further proof this is her, a few years back she made a gofundme for surgery for her shiba inu, ponyo.

and here is ponyo mentioned on @_faefox_

so after seeing that post i wanted to bring this all out bc junglekawa at one point owned 2 dogs. 2 shiba inus. 1 male and 1 female.

and at least currently owns the male

and if what glip said is true then the fact that they own any animals at all is really fucking vile. again i say all of this is alleged and there's no way to know if she currently is abusing these animals. i just want the information out there. if i missed anything or got anything wrong hmu ill correct it. im tired of animal abusers getting away with it.

Links:

_faefox_

vvolfae

junglekawa's current carrd