#i just spent hours on this mess and now i'm about to cry bc it's so bad i'm sorry

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen act with their clingy s/o

requested by @cinnamoroxie: aaaa your writing is so cute <33 what ab svt w a pretty clingy / touchy reader? take care of yourself lovie and ty for writing this if u do!! 💓💓

notes: i hope you enjoy!

masterlist

seungcheol:

this man is the father of 12 children and a dog. do you think he'd hate clingy people???? loves it when you randomly reach over to take his hand, or play with his hair, or poke his cheeks. is totally okay with you needing to be squished up against him whenever you're in the same space, bc tbh he really wants that too

jeonghan:

pretends to hate it whenever you practically fall on top of him whenever you see him, but wraps his arms around you so tightly so you can't move away. has a hairband permanently on his wrist, partly so he can tie his hair and partly so you can fiddle with something while his hand is in the space between you. his favourite act of clinginess is when you put his head into your lap and pet his hair

joshua:

have you seen this man? he adores affection, but also becomes so awkward in the face of it. basically shuts down if you kiss his cheek more than 5 times in ten minutes. lets out those beautiful laughs whenever you basically tackle hug him every time your eyes meet. would let you put the world on pause to hug him even if the world was trying to end all around you

junhui:

clingy back with you. you have competitions w him about who is more clingy in your relationship. junhui once spent the entire day hanging like a baby bear draped over your back, and you in turn spent the next day Refusing to let go of your arm linked in his. he starts fake-crying if you're in the same room as him for more than five seconds and yet Have Not come over to immediately crush him in a hug

hoshi:

either cannot get enough of it or is a blushing mess the entire time. you pecked him on the lips one time while he was with the rest of the 96z and he went such a bright pink that it was all they talked about for a year. he pouts The Most if you suddenly let go of his hand while you're walking, but is rendered flusteredly silent if you bend down to kiss his knuckles on a whim

wonwoo:

doesn't mind it, as long as it's not too public. however, he still absolutely loves how your touchiness means that your hand is intertwined with his basically 24/7. will politely tell you if it gets too much, but you being so open with your affection helps him relax too and has definitely been the one to lie in your lap a few times when he's had a tiring day

woozi:

he's resigned himself to essentially forever being your hug toy. used to dislike it if you were attached to him for a little too long, but now he visibly pouts if you're not huddled up next to him on the couch while you're together. goes rlly red if your clinginess manifests itself in kisses, and can barely talk for a minute straight afterwards

minghao:

if you flop into his lap the minute you see him, he'll look down at you in mild panic bc he thinks that something terrible has happened to you to make you clingy. soon gets used to it tho and realises it's just your love language, and is way more relaxed when you unexpectedly put your head in his lap. lets you play with his fingers. and his rings. and his nail polish, which keeps getting chipped bc of you

mingyu:

have you seen this man's arms? i'm betting he gives the best hugs. probably works out for that exact reason. if you suddenly hug him then he's not letting go for at least half an hour. looks like a kicked puppy if you try to leave his arms even if "mingyu seriously i need to pee so badly let me go—" "no, you initiated this, you're not escaping so soon"

dokyeom:

it never even occurs to him that your behaviour could be classified as 'clingy' because he. he is the exact same as you. loves to boop your nose and will giggle so hard if you do it back to him. the idea of you two Not being touching in some way is a concept that just doesn't exist. jeonghan jokes you must have a string connecting you two or something bc you're always together

seungkwan:

he's a hyper person, can barely sit still due to his urge to kick hoshi or argue with dino. however, if you're next to him and link an arm with his or lay your head on his shoulder, he's instantly ceasing his frantic bouncing so you can comfortably touch him. if he gets too worked up tho, then he'll grab your hand instead n drag you around while telling everyone off bc even when mad he'll let you touch him for however long you need

vernon:

totally cool with it. you wanna tug on the hair on the back of his neck while you're bored? he'll tilt his head downwards slightly to give you better access. if you're wearing face paint or makeup tho, pls don't lean your head on him bc he'll get yelled at by seungkwan yet again if he goes to the guy for help in removing makeup stains from his clothes

chan:

loves when your clinginess turns into you just babying him. pinch his cheeks, play with his hair, coo all over him and he's grinning so hard and his serotonin levels are through the roof. vv chill when it comes to your affection, goes about his day super normally even if you're basically hanging off his back like a koala

request guidelines

[braxlrose]

hii! i was wondering if u could possibly make more bill x self destruct!reader bc i kinda relate to it n it helps comfort me if not that’s totally ok dw!🫶🏼.

- 🦇 anon

bill kaulitz x self-destruct!reader • pt. one

cw: self harm, drugs, toxic relationship, cheating, drinking, angst, etc.

• bill holds you for hours whenever you have a breakdown. Even if it's just over something stupid like losing a hair tie, he'll hold you and let you cry into him until you start to feel better.

• if you're going through a depressive episode, he'll make sure to come by and see your everyday to take care of you. even if you try and push him away and tell him you don't need taking care of, he is going to sit with you and brush your hair and make sure you eat and drink something.

• one time when you went to rave, he made sure to come with you so you didn't do anything stupid and he ended up having to smack ecstasy tablets out of your hand and take you home.

• he spent the rest of the night telling you how unsafe those are. you were just sitting there, rolling your eyes at him which ended up in tons and tons of angry sex.

• buys you candies to eat/suck on instead of smoking. which you end up calling him a hypocrite because he smokes too but then he's all like "yeah, but I'm not doing 10 other different kinds of drugs." ouch.

• it's still sweet though.

• he's gotten used to you trying to sneak away and out of bed after you two have fallen asleep so he pretends to fall asleep and when he feels you getting up, he wraps his arms tightly around you and spoons you, so you can't leave.

• he once walked in on you about to burn yourself with a cigarette and he didn't leave your side for the rest of the day. and he took away your cigarettes and got you nicotine patches 😒

• bill loves taking bathes with you. you're too lazy to stand so you just sit down between his legs and he washes your hair for you and your body. plus he gets to lay around with a naked woman soo

• bill tries his best not to get angry with you when you do something that would usually get him angry because he knows you're just trying to get a rise out of him to get attention

• when you're yelling at him, he just sits there and let's you yell at him until he finally gets up and just pulls you into a hug.

• kisses and traces your tattoos when you two are relaxing together.

• on the nights where he actually falls asleep and you end up leaving he wakes up all alone. he tries calling you and texting you but there's no answer and he gets really worried.

• that is until you show up a couple days later with your hair and makeup a mess. you were obviously out partying.

• whenever you isolate yourself away from people, even your family and your closest friends. he comes to your room and tries to talk to you. if he decides it's best to let you be alone, he'll leave but still check on you every now and then.

• if he decides it's better to stay with you to make sure you're okay, he'll just lay with you. no talking, no nothing. just holding you in his arms.

• when you go gambling and then come running to him because you lost money, he gets you the money. he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, so he makes sure he can do whatever it is for you to be okay.

• whenever bill brings up family stuff, you just shut down. you don't want to talk about it and the more bill pushes you the more your anger boils until it all spills out.

• even though you push him away, once he actually leaves for too long, he's gotten used to you calling him. he can hear your sobs through the call asking him to come back and that you're sorry for everything and you just want him back. and he always comes back.

• one night, bill saw you at a club, dancing with some other guy. intimate dancing. he started crying and just went back to his hotel room. after a little while he heard you open the door and come in. now 2 things could happen.

• either you come in sobbing about how you danced with another guy and you didn't mean it even though you loved him so much.

• or you'd just stumble in and fall asleep next to him. not even an apology in the morning.

• you would slap or hit him away when he tried to wrap your wrists after you cut yourself but he'd end up just picking you up and you'd give in.

• never letting you drive after you got drunk because he doesn't want you to get hurt, ever.

sorry this was shorter than the last one!!

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @killed-kiss @memog1rl @80s-tingz @billybabeskaulitz @victryzvv9 @banshailey

[scekrex]

Hiya,

It's me again. I'm having one of these days when I don't want to get out of bed and everything is just tragic. Because of that I was wondering if I could ask for something with Adam/reader feeling very nostalgic and down in the "you looked at me wrong, now I'm gonna cry" way. When they come home their partner just shove them with all kisses and cuddles in the world. I'm in need of something extremely fluffy and vanilla

I totally get your vibe, I spent the entire day in bed and I did nothing, I think I got a little carried away in the middle but I hope you like it nonetheless :3

I got all twisted up, you helped straighten me out

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

The day itself felt off, had been ever since you had woken up in the morning and when Adam had wanted to do you a favor by letting you sleep in and canceling your appointments for the day, you felt hurt - you weren’t even able to explain why you felt the way you did, but it stung when you had woken up hours later to a simple note on your bedside table that read ‘Ya ass seemed really fucking tired, canceled ur shit, will be back whenever the fuck Sera lets me leave’, underneath the text was a little drawing of himself trying to form a heart with his hands - it looked more like a dick than a heart though. It was cute that Adam had written you a note at all, but yet it didn’t sit right with you, especially because today would’ve been the only day in the week on which your schedule lined up, so you technically could sit in Sera’s office right now, messing around with your boyfriend and talking shit about whatever crazy bitch ass plan the seraphim was working on this time.

Instead you sat at home, alone with nothing to do because Adam had canceled every single plan of yours - you weren’t mad about that itself, you weren’t mad at all. You felt sad rather than angry because didn’t he want to spend the day with you at work, to grab a milkshake afterwards like you always did and watch the sunset in the park that was only a five minute flight from your home? Did he want to spend the day alone without you, away from you rather than by your side?

You haven’t left the bed, not when you have woken up, not five hours later. You had gotten up once - real quick - to pee, but after that you had gone right back to bed, the blanket wrapped around your body instead of Adam’s wings because instead of calling in sick as well, he had decided to leave you alone at home. And while your logical mind kept telling you that he meant well, your emotions spoke a different language.

When you heard the front door open you peeked out from underneath the blanket and when you heard familiar sounding steps heading towards the living room while the lovely voice of your boyfriend called out your name you went back and hid underneath the fabric. It only took the first man a couple seconds to open the bedroom door and sigh at the sight of you. “Still not feeling better babes?” And he sounded genuinely interested in your well-being, but did he care or was he rather annoyed to be back by your side? You didn’t answer his question, ignored it when he sat down next to you and simply pulled the blanket even tighter around your body. His hand came down to grab a fistful of the fabric you were hiding under and with one firm tug he pulled it away from you entirely, sending it flying across the room so you wouldn’t reach for it and hide away again. “Okay fuckface, tell me what the fuck is up,” the choice of petname wasn’t exactly what you had hoped for, in general you didn’t mind the somewhat mean petnames he sometimes used for you, it was his love language after all and to be fair, it was yours too - a little at least. But now? Now you had hoped for something softer. Fuckface only played into your thought of him being annoyed with you and your company. “If you’re growing tired of me just say so, I’m a big boy, I can handle rejection.”

To Adam that reaction came out of nowhere and he wasn’t quite sure on how he was supposed to respond - what the fuck made you think that way? Had he done something wrong? “The fuck is your cracked up ass talking about?” You spread your wings, used them to hide your body away from Adam yet again though you positioned them so that you were able to peek through your feathers and when your sad, tired and somehow even broken eyes met his confused ones, Adam knew something was up and said ‘something’ wasn’t small at all. “You left without saying a word,” you mumbled quietly, too tired of your emotions to speak louder but the brunette sitting next to you had understood you perfectly fine. But that only resulted in him being even more confused, because what the fuck? “I wrote you a fucking note, bitch,” he pointed to the bedside table on which his note was still laying. Your eyes moved to the spot he was pointing at, then back to him, “Today’s the only day our schedules line up and you left me here.” Oh. Oh. Now Adam understood what your problem was - or at least he thought he did. Either way, he was sure to know how to fix that now.

“We can still go out, grab the fucking milkshakes and watch that stupidly perfect sunset like we usually fucking do, y’know?” That simple offer of his took you by surprise and you lowered your wings in order to look at him properly, “Really?” That caused the first man to chuckle in amusement as he gently pulled your body closer to his own until your head was resting in his lap, “Yeah babes, fucking really.” “So you’re not growing tired of me?” Another chuckle vibrated through his body and a small smile appeared on your face as you felt it in every inch of your body. You wiggled your body into a more comfortable position, your head remained in his lap though and soon his hands found their way to your hair as he started to gently play with it. “Why the fuck would I?” And that question made you feel a little embarrassed, “Dunno, usually when one of us calls in sick on this day of the week, the other does so too so we can still spend the day together and I thought…” you didn’t even finish your sentence but you knew you didn’t have to, Adam got where you were coming from. So he playfully ruffled your hair as he responded, “Fuck nah, your ass is way top fucking adventurous, hell would fucking freeze before I grow tired of you, babes.” A soft kiss was placed on your forehead before the first man continued, “You just seemed fucking exhausted lately so I handled your shit for today.”

And that made you calm down a lot, so he was not growing tired of you and tried to get some distance between the both of you in order to make a later breakup less painful - not that this plan would’ve worked anyway. Your body leaned into his warmth, embracing your boyfriend’s company at its fullest, “You said milkshakes are still on the table?” Adam beamed at the mention of milkshakes and he was off the bed with you in his arms in an instant, ready to leave the house just like that, not even caring the slightest bit about the fact that you were wearing nothing but one of his shirts and underwear. “Bet ya sexy ass they fucking are,” he rushed over to the bedroom door before you were able to stop him, your shitty mood from before was long forgotten as you repeatedly told Adam to slow down while you laughed the brunette’s reaction. “I need to get dressed first,” you explained as he set you down on your own feet. “Just put on a pair of sweats and call it a fucking day, we’re gonna miss that fucking sunset if you need longer than thirty seconds,” he complained with a playful undertone as you picked up a pair of sweats from the ground - you sniffed them quickly making sure they didn’t smell too bad before you put them on and joined Adam who had already headed to the front door in the meantime. “There ya fucking are, finally” he hummed happily as he opened the door, scooped you back up into his arms and left t your house in order to get your weekly milkshakes.

[whump-town]

 Tryptophan (& Gatorade)

Finished this and out of habit I was about to start citing APA (that's for sure a cry for help). I hardly ever write at this point bc my brain is like a barren wasteland (no ideas) so... but I mean I guess I wrote this so that's something

Word Count: 4,000

Summary? Reid & Hotch jus chillin, vibin (I'm lying... sorta)

Marie Ann screams when her boyfriend staggers back, the bullet exiting Hotch’s gun and tearing through Matt. He drops to the ground, hand still to his chest, and now collapses, death freezing the action of his shock to his face. Hotch shouts at Marie Ann to raise her hands but she drops down to Matt, screaming for him as her hands uselessly grab and pull. Her mouth agape, wailing, she turns and searches the ground for the gun Matt held. Hotch yells again, stepping forward, and as her finger curls around the trigger Hotch’s own taps uncertainty. They switch expressions as Marie Ann raises the gun to her temple, her face falling flat with certainty, and Hotch shouts in horror as the second gunshot rips through the room. 

Hotch’s hands haven’t stopped shaking. 

“Makes it easier for us,” Rossi says, climbing the weathered hotel steps. “Would’ve spent months in trial,” he sighs, coming to the top of the landing and leaning on the railing a moment. “Go on,” he motions Emily and Reid ahead of him. “Now we can go home and those two are dead, everybody in the city tonight gets to hug their kids close and know they’re safe. That’s a win, couldn’t ask for anything better.” He turns to take the next flight, joining Hotch in the back. “You remember that case with the, ugh, what were their names? That couple in Oklahoma, real rednecks, killed three couples–”

“Howards,” Hotch mumbles, dejected. 

“Yes,” Rossi agrees, “the Howards. Those two–”

Hotch turns hard at the top of the steps, not glancing back as he heads straight for his room, ignoring the rest of the conversation and Rossi’s frustrated and then confused calls of his name. His shaking hands miss the first swipe of his room key into the lock, as soon as the door rings Hotch pushes inside, letting it shut behind him. 

Reid, Prentiss, and Rossi stand bewildered by the stairs. Every night Hotch makes his rounds. It’s standard and predictable that Hotch stands and watches each of them enter their rooms. It’s customary to the point that they tell him goodnight and still anticipate that he’ll be around an hour or two later to ensure they’re still fine, usually just going through the routine of bedtime. 

And besides routine, Hotch always waits for whoever is rooming with him to go in first, as he holds the door. 

“Shoo,” Emily shakes her head, reaching up and planting a supportive, but rather mocking, hand on Reid’s shoulder. “Good luck.”

Reid helplessly looks between them. “Prentiss,” he whines but she raises her hands, this isn’t on her. “Please,” he tries desperately but he’s left as Rossi and Prentiss join one another in walking towards their own rooms. “Guys…” 

Reid sneaks into the room, despite it being half his. Making sure the door doesn’t make a sound, gently easing it shut and releasing the handle slowly. Hotch’s bed is made, untouched from this morning, and the sight of the sheets he left pulled back and in a mess makes Reid feel a pang of guilt and shame. Feeling anxiety already from the unpredictability Reid conceives from Hotch’s behavior, every little thing he’s left out or not done suddenly feels like an infraction, things that Hotch will be mad about. 

But Hotch is in the bathroom. Safely contained to, technically, another room.

Reid  walks over to the bed and sits but he stands back up, anxiously looking around him. Contemplating for a moment, Reid wrings his fingers and decides to start picking things up, hoping that this will place him in Hotch’s good graces. 

Several things fall in the bathroom loudly and Reid flinches, nearly dropping the mug in his hands. He looks over to the closed door, and too quietly calls, “Hotch?” Every frazzled bone in his body tells him to keep picking up, to ignore the sound, and not start yelling – which will only make Hotch madder. He starts to duck his head, moving quicker now to pick more things up, but something else guides him over to the counter. Gently, as to not let the mugs hit the hard countertop loudly, Reid sets them down. He brushes his nervous hands down his pants and returns them to one another, twisting and pulling at his long fingers as he hesitantly sneaks closer to the bathroom. 

“Hotch?” he asks, again too quietly. Reid can’t bring himself to speak louder, to say Hotch’s name again, so he presses a little closer to the door, careful and mindful that he might be seen from the other side underneath the door. But as he steps closer he can hear the sounds coming from the other side. He can’t tell what it is but it’s definitely a noise that makes him only 10x more uncomfortable as Reid’s confronted by the fact that he can’t walk away. That he certainly has to knock on this door. “Hotch?” Reid manages just a squeak above what he’d managed before. “Ar–Are you okay?” 

With no answer, Reid takes a step back. He works his hands through his hair a moment, leaving them against his face as he takes a deep breath and blows it out. “Ho–Hotch?” Knocking nearly takes Reid out but he manages weakly, “Hey… Ugh, I’m– Are you okay? Do – Do you want me to come in?”

He waits a full minute without response before gently putting his hand on the doorknob, hoping with all his hope that the door will be locked. If it’s locked he can go get someone else, let them be brave. It’s unlocked. Reid opens the door just a crack, “Hotch?” With his face to the door, slightly ajar, he can hear now the sound of harsh breathing, and he opens it just a bit more. 

Hotch is on the bathroom floor, sitting down beside the toilet, his knees to his chest and his face hidden against them. He looks up, wearing an expression that Reid’s never seen before, one that scares him back a step. Hotch’s eyes are raw and red, swollen. Wild. They’re not the piercing depth Reid’s used to, they don’t hold an emotion that he recognizes immediately. Hyper-aware of every mood shift, Reid has adapted to Hotch. He doesn’t really have an answer for why but he can just see it. And this look is not one that Reid is familiar with. 

Reid tries to back out further but Hotch’s eyes are locked on him now. 

Hotch tries to speak but he manages only the beginning syllable of words Reid can’t understand. His right hand comes up and grabs his chest, his fist closing around the material of his dress shirt. “Reid,” he manages, gasping, “Ca–Call–.” He tilts his head back, mouth open as he pants for air. “Heart–”

Reid tilts his head slightly, narrowing his eyes. He studies Hotch for all of a second and comes to his own conclusion. He looks down at the floor and back to Hotch before he hesitantly steps in. “I think–” Reid looks again at the hand Hotch holds to his chest. “Statistically, the average age for a heart attack in men, who make the proportion of the static, is sixty-five. Though, a heart attack shouldn’t be ruled out by that factor. Diet and heart health play a big factor in that but four to ten percent of heart attacks are people younger than sixty-five.” 

“W-What?”

Reid sits down on the floor in front of Hotch, crossing his long legs underneath him. “I don’t think you’re having a heart attack.” 

“My– My chest–”

“You’re having a panic attack.” Reid points a finger at Hotch’s head to the pulsing vein he can see, “your heart is beating very quickly.” He reaches slowly and watches Hotch, gently wrapping his hand over the back of Hotch’s wirst, and finding his pulse. “Yes,” Reid nods his head, “very quick, about 160, but not irregular. Can’t rule out an arrhythmia but that doesn’t fit… Your chest pain, does it feel like pressure or sharp?”

Fingers against Hotch’s pulse, the fast pace keeps up with Hotch’s frantic gasping. And after several long moments measured out by these two things, Reid frowns. He pulls his hand back away and Hotch tilts his head back again, letting it rock to the side, the rest of him trying to curl in that direction. Reid watches in terror as tears start to come down Hotch’s face, both of his hands up to his chest. 

“You’re experiencing a panic attack,” Reid offers lamely, pulling his own hands together. “You’re not dying, Hotch. It should be over soon.” A stretch of the truth. Reid’s had panic attacks before and he knows that ‘soon’ is all too relative. He’s had some last anywhere between five minutes and an hour, and they all always feel like hours. Hours of that sharp pain and a panicking brain reassuring and trying to prove that you’re dying. 

That sharp glare presents itself for a flash as Hotch’s red eyes snap to Reid. “You’re not a doctor,” Hotch grits out. “Jus’ a smartass wi-with – ” Hotch cuts himself off with a whimper, fist tightening and his eyes pinching shut. 

Reid flinches a little, and feels the impulse to scoot himself away, out of arms reach, but Hotch keeps his hands clutching his chest. “Do– Do you want to me to go get–”

“No!” Hotch shouts, louder than either were expecting and they both flinch. “No, no don’t.” 

Reid really wants to move now as Hotch starts sucking in worse breathes, his chest hitching. He knows this. Knows the feeling. Breathing is hard enough but in a flash it becomes laborious, trying to catch up but never getting enough. Like the rooms a sucking black hole, the oxygen running out, already too thin, but now dwindling. 

“L–L–Leave,” Hotch sobs, pulling now at his shirt, turning his head from Reid. “Please,” he rasps. 

Reid stands quickly, going backwards until his back hits the ajar door. “Okay,” he obeys too quickly and stops too ubruptly. He stands frozen, unable to leave despite desperately wanting to. “I’ll be right back!” He turns quickly on his heel and runs to the fridge. He throws the door open and looks frantically around it. “Where’s the ice?” he asks and whirls around, looking at the rest of the room in a stupor. 

The ice machine is down the hall. 

Reid stands blinking as he tries to think of what to do. He doesn’t think he can leave Hotch, as much as he wants to put a great distance between them, he feels nervous now, just steps away. 

“I’m sorry,” Reid says, coming back into the bathroom, really to himself. Hotch doesn’t acknowledge Reid coming back in. Trapped in his own mental hell, every limb numb, whole body shaking, all Hotch can do is be painfully aware of his breathing and his heart, which he waits antipanting the contraction that makes the muscle give out. 

The rush of water into the tub is drowned by the ringing in his ears. 

Reid stands up, the tap turned all the way to the blue C, and searches for a wash cloth. He grabs a towel and dumps the cup holding the hotel supplied two-in-one shampoos, throwing the first into the bottom of the rub. The cup fills quickly and Reid turns and freezes. 

Hotch is still crying, eyes closed and head turned from Reid. 

“Sorry,” Reid says, drops the cup, instead pulling the towel out from under the water. Soaked, the towel is heavy, ice cold water pouring all over as Reid holds it up. “Sorry,” he says again and tosses the towel down over top Hotch’s head. He takes several quick steps back, trying to ensure he’s out of arms reach. 

For a scary second Hotch grabs at the towel in terror. When the white cloth is pulled down Hotch takes in a deep breath, the towel laying in his arms. “What the hell,” he gasps, looking up at Reid. 

But this is Hotch. Reid can see it in his eyes, Hotch looks confused, shocked, but somewhat like himself. 

Hotch’s head smacks the bathroom wall and closes his eyes. The towel is freezing and heavy, soaking into his sleeves and the front of his shirt. He feels jerked back from a ledge, but he’s still standing by the rocky cliff. One wrong step and he’ll go back over but his head feels empty. His racing thoughts starved off as his body concentrates on the too cold towel across his lap. 

He blinks his eyes open, squinting at the light as Reid steps over and picks the towel back up. Ears still ringing, Hotch can hear the tub run, and he watches in numb complacency as Reid puts the towel back under the cold water. 

Again, the wet towel flops down but this time into his lap, and Hotch sucks in a breath at the contact. 

“Your respiration rate is slowing down.”

Hotch grunts and listens to his body's call to be united with the floor, slowly leaning over until he’s on his side. From behind his closed eye, he can see Reid step back into the light burning through his lids. “Alright,” Hotch commands breathlessly, holding his trembling hand up between them. “I’m okay, that’s enough.” His hand falls down to his chest and Hotch closes his eyes, feeling already bone-deep exhaustion trying to pull him down through the floor. “Shit,” he curses breathlessly. He’s still overly aware of his breathing and his heart but his hand rests on his solar plexus and below his palm he can feel the muscles moving, can feel his heart returning to a less alarming pace.

“Adrenaline fatigue results in lethargy but bathroom floors have seven hundred and sixty four bacteria per square inch. A motel bathroom can have millions of–”

“Reid,” Hotch grumbles, “just turn the light off.” 

Reid rocks back and forth, wringing his hands, “but–” He really tries to listen but he turns around and comes right back. “Enteric pathogens – Escherichia coli! Staphylococcus aureus, Dermatophitic fungi–”

Hotch groans from the floor, and after a moment, turns his hand to the floor, weakly sitting himself up with shaking arms. “You do know those have layman names,” he remarks, looking down as his soaked towel flops wetly to the floor. 

“You’re not a layman.”

Hotch huffs, and starts to use the toilet to push himself up. He looks up, confused, when Reid extends his hand down. “I’ve got E. Coli and staph all over my hands,” he reminds Reid and he watches Reid’s lip tighten before he moves a little closer. Reid’s grip is much stronger than his own and given the way everything beneath him shakes, trying to pitch him back to the germ encrusted floor, Reid might just be stronger. Without the helping hand Hotch wouldn’t have been able to get off the floor.

The need to be useful prevails over a desire to continue to stand in the bathroom. Reid darts right out the door as soon as Hotch steadies to feet, “I’ll get you a dry towel.” 

Hotch holds himself up with the sink, putting a little too much faith in the drywall patches around it. He observes himself with mild disgust, frustrated by his damp face and the sleepless circles pitting his eyes. Weak. Internally and out. 

“Sorry,” Reid says, he offers it reflexively but then he does mean it as he stands awkwardly, interrupting Hotch’s sour scowling at himself. “Here.” 

“Thank you.” Hotch takes the towel but just holds it, “I should change.” 

Reid wordlessly lifts Hotch’s go-bag, and he bypasses handing it to Hotch and instead slides through the door, squeezing past and setting it in the sink. 

“Thank you.” 

Reid nods stiffly, fumbling with the door, “uh-huh. I mean, no problem, sir.” 

“Sir?” Hotch asks. He looks deflated, his lifted eyebrow somehow soft and kind.

Reid blushes a little, “yeah– Sorry.” He pulls the door behind him, quickly trying to get away. 

Hotch leans his elbow back onto the sink, and looks behind him, dejectedly sitting atop the toilet seat. His hands come to his face and immediately he can feel his heart rate start to accelerate. Slow breaths do nothing to slow his heart. For a moment, Hotch tries to fight it but he has to move his hands as the panic grips his chest again. With a grunt, Hotch tries to stand but he falls to his knees, and he pulls himself closer to the tub. The edge hurts his chest but he presses harder, he jerks the nozzle all the way over, and light-headed, shaking resumes, Hotch ducks his head under the freezing water. 

“Hotch?” 

Icey water slides down both sides of his neck, cooling his overheated face as it trails through his hair and down over his face. “I’m okay,” Hotch rasps, and he groans when he hears Reid knock on the door. “Reid,” he manages just a little louder, “I’m fine.” 

“O–Okay! … Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Hotch groans.

Reid walks circles around the room, trying but unable to find something to do. There are plenty of tasks but his eyes move right over them, his attention split and remaining mostly fixed on the bathroom door. He moves the mugs around on the counter, nudges his converse by the foot of the bed so that they’re sitting beside one another, and stands there. Reid turns back ot the door when he hears the water turn off and again he attempts to find a task. 

He ends up standing in the middle of the room at the table provided in the mini-kitchenette styled area. For a moment he pushes Hotch’s pen around in circles and opens Hotch’s file, looking through it despite knowing every word in it. 

The bathroom door opens and Reid moves quickly but ends up standing awkwardly, hands clasped in front of his chest. 

Hotch doesn’t look up at him as he slowly exits the bathroom, his hand taking hold of the counter to balance his unsteady legs. Here, he glances at Reid out of the corner of his eye, and rights himself again, standing to his full height and taking a step that Reid can visibly see is not stable. Hotch resumes his slow pace, attempts to. “Reid,” he grumbles and the younger man flinches, turning away immediately and pretending to place his attention back on the file on the table. 

Over his shoulder, trying to look inconspicuous, Reid watches Hotch cover the rest of the small distance to his bed. Kicking at the carpet with his toe, Reid chews on the inside of his lip. He clears his throat, “um, I’ll be right back.”

Hotch grunts softly as he eases himself down on the mattress, “mhmm.”

Reid shoves his feet down inside his shoes, and goes to the door. “Be right back.”

“You said that.”

Reid hurries down the half-hall to where he knows the vending machines are. As he passes the other’s doors he can hear them faintly inside. Prentiss and Morgan are watching something with a laugh track, and Rossi something with the many firing cracks of a gun. The vending machine is just outside Rossi’s door, and it’s sparse. Reid frowns at it. He squats down to see the lower shelves and pulls change from his pocket, sorting coins in his palm before feeding them into the machine. There’s a weird brand of train mix and Reid takes it, looking over to the other machine with hard concentration.

Rossi’s door opens and peaks outside. “Oh,” he leans out, “you need more change?”

Reid rocks on his feet and shakes his head, “no. Does Hotch like gatorade?”

One of Rossi’s eyebrows drops but he shrugs, “I suppose. Why? If you’re trying to bribe him into a better mood you’ll need something a helluva lot stronger, kid.” 

“I’m not,” Reid says, and types in code for the red gatorade. He waits patiently for it drop down and takes it, turning back and walking past Rossi.

“Everything okay over there?” 

“Yeah.” 

The big light is off when Reid comes back in, the lamp on Hotch’s nightstand illuminating the shadows. Hotch hasn’t gotten into bed, his flannel pajamaed legs hang over the side as he sits on the edge, his head slowly being raised from his hands as Reid comes in. 

Reid puts the gatorade and trail mix down beside him. 

Hotch looks up at Reid for a defeated moment, blinkling tiredly. “What’s this?” Hotch asks, wearily. A single finger rolls the gatorade slightly, the packaging on the trail mix crinkling. 

“Carbohydrates increase tryptophan which crosses the blood brain barrier to synethizise serotonin.” 

Hotch hums.

“Chocolate has tryptophan.” 

“Oh.”

Reid rocks back and forth on his feet, rubbing his finger with his thumb. “5-hydroxytryptamine, serotonin, is a monoamine neurotransmitter acting as a hormone. Most of the serotonin in the human body is found in the gastrointestinal tract and it’s absorbed by platelets. Only about ten percent is produced in the brain. Tryptophan is an essential amino acid so the human body doesn't naturally make it. You have to,” Reid points to the trail mix, “eat it.” 

Hotch picks up the bag and it rest in his palm as he solemnly looks down at it. 

“Gatoraide… has electrolytes?” 

“Mostly sugar water,” Hotch says gruffly.

Reid smiles, “produces serotonin.”

Hotch raises an eyebrow, surprised, and when Reid says nothing more, “not going to tell me how sugar become serotonin?”

Reid rocks back on his heels and shakes his head, “No. We should watch a movie.”

“Okay.”

Finding the remote is a struggle and Hotch sits on the bed. His brain is fogged down, like a wet, dewy morning so thick that headlights can’t be seen. Dejectedly, Hotch’s vision is unfocused, eyes cast unseeing to the floor. The sound of the television coming on, loudly, stirs him vacantly. Reflexively, his eyes move to it. 

“Dirty Jobs!” Reid points, smiling back at Hotch. 

The light makes his eyes hurt and Hotch blinks slowly, squinting. It’s not until it starts to hurt his head that Hotch looks away, that he has the thought to do so. Without much thought, Hotch rolls onto his side, facing the wall. White paint. 

Reid says his name twice and hesitantly, afraid but also concerned, he taps Hotch’s shoulder.

He flinches. 

Reid holds the opened trail mix up, “Tryptophan.”

Hotch blinks sluggishly and finally frees his arm from beneath him, opening his palm. 

Reid pours some of the mix into his hand and sets it back on the bed. 

Pushing himself up, Hotch rests his back against the pillows, sitting in the fog of his brain and looking emptily at his hand. Seeing this, Reid sits down beside him, and carefully picks out a few peanuts. It’s only after Reid inspects a peanut and places it in his mouth that Hotch does the same. 

Side-by-side, Reid watches Dirty Jobs and Hotch slowly eats a single piece of trail mix at a time. 

Reid sits up near the end of the episode, suddenly excited by a fact, “oh! Algae is–” Hotch is asleep. Reid hadn’t realized and he clamps his mouth shut, watching as Hotch, unbothered, sleeps on. Softly, Reid leans back. He turns off the lamp on the nightstand and mutes the tv. 

He hasn’t shaken the feeling that someone else should know. Insecurely, Reid wishes someone else had been here. Morgan or Prentiss or Rossi. Any one but him would have done better. 

Hotch starts to snore softly and Reid dares a glance from the corner of his eye. He won’t tell anyone what happened tonight.

Well… maybe the next time Morgan says Hotch doesn’t snore he’ll bring up this part.

[limoneads]

who are your top three favorite game of thrones characters and why?

i spent wayyyy to much time thinking about my little dudes. this took me like four hours because i kept going back and deleting because i couldn't decide on them oops. i know it's taken me literally forever to answer this, but i've been thinkin thoughts in my car. and i'm going to go by book only characters from the first two in the series bc i like the way they're characterized a lot more and they're the ones i'm most familiar with. i also want you to know that i'm incredibly incoherent

jon snow. i know i'm basic for this one. i know i am. but he's the game of thrones version of an anime protagonist. i think that this is extremely funny- in one chapter, he crushes a frozen lemon with his fist and it's never elaborated on again (??? what was the reason for this??), he has a literal albino pet wolf who's name is ghost :) who he loves very much, he's fiercely protective over his friends and new brothers and also just, like, a good dude?? he just tries to stand up for what's right, and in a world where pretty much every character is just trying to get more political power, it's a refreshing choice. i'd also like to mention that he's fourteen at the start of the books, and he gets to be an all around edgy westerosi teen, but he's also just a good kid and i think that's so lovely of him. there's a line of him showing his cool new sword to his wolf and he goes something like "look it's you :)" bc his broskis made him a new pommel in the shape of a wolfs head!! absolute lovely moment. every so often, you're reminded he's just some kid. he loves his family so much and i'm sad that he only gets a few scenes with them at the beginning of the book. okay, by family i mean arya, but they're really cute. he's really close with his little (half) sister arya and messes up her hair a lot. he gives her a sword as a parting gift :) and they're kinda the closest sibling pair in the stark family because they look the most like their dad and are often the ones most at odd with catelyn, their mom (but not his mom biologically. his dad, at the end of a war, just brought back a baby and was like "this is my son" and she hasn't been able to love jon ONCE). you kinda get the feeling that she's the only one who never judged him for being a bastard while still understanding what it means. they're relationships is just cute. you also get really banger character moments that i still think about, like him getting drunk at the fantasy version of the thanksgiving kids table and then yelling and crying at his uncle that he's "never going to father a bastard". or when he threatened to kill some dude in his sleep with his giant pet wolf for being mean to the new guy, sam. i'll admit his chapters are a bit boring in the sense that it's not a lot of stuff that happens plotwise for like the first 40%ish, but i got excited every time it was his turn to get a pov bc it's mostly him with his bros in the nights watch, being a weird snarky emo boy and i- i love him sm. 

i debated heavily on wether it should be robb or catelyn stark. they're pretty conjoined in my mind though, so i just put them both in a giant paragraph. but i'm gonna start with cat because she's one of the most complex characters in the books to me. cat is kinda in her flop era for like the first ten percent of the first book. she's horrifically abusive to jon snow, the bastard son of her husband, because she views him both as a threat to *her* children and as a reminder of her relationships pitfalls with her husband. her motherhood and her grief are central to her as character themes, as well as her preoccupation with duty and honor. i'm now going to take this time to talk about my son, robb stark and the genetic eldest daughter syndrome they both have. cat grew up as lady of her house, her mother dying and leaving her to take up a maternal role in her household. she got betrothed to her husbands brother when she was twelve and never complained because she was trying to do what she thought she was supposed to do. "i always did my duty". something similar happens to her son when his father, cats husband, leaves with his two daughters to be an advisor to the king at the time. i think it's mentioned that, despite being the heir to winterfell, his family's giant castle, no one had ever seriously taught him about ruling a place like that?? which. okay. he's already thrust into taking up a paternal role to take care of his remaining siblings. he loses his mother for a time. when bran is in a coma, she shuts everyone out, focusing on taking care of her son. in doing so, she neglects to care for her two other children, robb and baby rickon. this leaves robb alone, now without his mother to guide him (he's also like 15 at this point) he's now ruling winterfell and acting as a father to his youngest sibling. she actually does leave when someone tries to kill bran with a dagger- seeking justice out for her son. the goes on a little journey (which is like most of her journey in the books but i'm glossing over it because it was kinda boring rip), and when she comes back she takes incredible psychic damage from seeing her son having grown up so fast. and i'm like, babes you're responsible for this. she always is so taken aback by how old he's starting to look. he grows a weird teen boy beard and she takes psychic damage. she's basically his biggest political advisor in his campaign as king in the north. maybe my thoughts aren't that complicated on that, but they both adhere so strictly to a code of honor and duty- it makes me mentally ill. and to know that it gets robb killed!!! they change this up in the show, and it isn't until the third book but knowing that robb betrayed his political alliance bc he made a mistake by sleeping with a girl and then marrying her the next morning bc it was the right thing to do and sticking by her?? the parallels with him and his dad... i feel like evaporated milk. 

howland reed. i can't really explain this one so much. never actually shows up in the books but has inexplicably strong dilf energy. one of like three good dads in the entire series. absolute unit on the basketball court. more fun in my head than cannon. if hbo ever does a roberts rebellion prequel i will have my ass parked in front of that tv screen so fast you won't even believe

and now i ask who your favorite three star trek characters are. thank for trying to teach me how to do the things on the tumblr :)

[ad-astra-per-aspera-1389]

A while back I had an au wherein only James went to LA. The problem with that NOW is that I'm not in the same, lowkey depressed state of mind that I was when I started it. I got the title from that song from Descendants 2, and it was ANGST CENTRAL. Some of it slapped tho.

Some song lyrics...idk why, but they're there:

"Yeah I remember what I said

The morning that you left

I said I’d be strong

Said I’d move on

Said I’d do it for you, for me, for them

But now I’m here crying on the phone

Wishing I could beg you to come home

But I can’t"

And lines like:

LA would kill Kendall before he could decide what to make of himself; he couldn’t move there.

---

Where the Hollywood sign had once been a neutral monument in a way-too-big city, it was now just another reminder of something he’d messed up.

---

The number of collective hours he and Logan had spent trying to convince Carlos to put the box down, no you cannot keep the skunk was too many to count.

---

Kendall knew he remembered their names wrong, if he did at all, but he did remember this: no matter what season, any time of the year, this handful of constellations could be seen every night, if you knew where to look. He remembered that part because it reminded him of himself and his friends. Like the stars, they’d always be there. They would always be able to guide him when he was lost, or just needed to think; whether he could see them or not, they were still there. Maybe the distance between Minnesota and California was like light pollution.

---

K: “Home is where you’re happy, remember?”

J: “Yeah? Well maybe I’m happy next to you. Did you ever think of that, dumbass? I know, blah blah blah, this place made me famous and everything, but I can’t hear that sentence without hearing your voice echo it back. Maybe I don’t even want to fucking be famous anymore if it means I can’t see you everyday. You gave up so much for me, and then you act like you’re the one that’s selfish. I’m the one that left you in the dust. I’m the one that couldn’t fly in for your birthday. Every time you called me at 2 am, and your voice broke like it shouldn’t, and did you ever stop and think about yourself even once? Because you’re it. You’re home. You’re what keeps me going on the worst days, and it shouldn’t have taken me two thousand fucking miles for me to realize that. I need you, okay?”

---

It would be so easy to just lean in, but while gravity and unspoken feelings tried to pull them closer—to just close the gap—the distance looming over them, guaranteed in the near future, was keeping them separate. Hydrostatic equilibrium until everything collapsed.

---

I don't know how to make it make sense, but I keep poking it in its glass enclosure in my farm of WIPs just bc its pretty

[dead-dog-dont-eat]

IK you said you weren't disclosing detail unless in private, but what exactly happened???

tbh, I'm gonna say it, but I'm gonna put it under cut and properly tag it. The biggest sensitive topic on this answered ask is suicide and self-harm.

On Wednesday night, past a bit after 9 pm, my neighbor (who was in his 80's) committed suicide. He did it with a gun. He blew out his glass window and also one of the bullets shot through my bathroom wall and into the ceiling of said bathroom. I thought, at first, it was loud fireworks--but fireworks don't do that. I went into the bathroom, and I only took maybe three or four steps in? And I heard a loud boom and saw shrapnel scattered and dusted all over the bathroom.

I immediately told my mom and we both thought he was going senile, so we went and drove to a friend's house 3 blocks down for safety. My mom called the landlord to check on the neighbor (and also to call police), and when the landlord called back, she (the landlord) told my mom that she walked in with her son, and that my neighbor killed himself. He did it on the bed.

I broke down, crying and sobbing and just a general mess because I was traumatized and upset of learning that a man shot himself. Apparently he was depressed and had been watching and reading some conspiracies and whatnot of current war, plus he was dealing with some personal stuff. It felt surreal bc we all saw him that morning, just smiling, and that we didn't know it would be our last. All of us didn't know he was capable of doing that.

During which, from what my mom and her friend told me because they went down there a couple of times to get a statement and for my mom to grab some stuff, there were a bunch of police cars, main investigators, and crime scene crew. And someone was going down there to pick up our neighbor's body. I spent the night at her friend's house, but I was pretty restless cuz I had a long night, I was upset and shook, and only had 5 hours of sleep. I was pretty dull and full of emotion the next day, and I also decided to skip school for the rest of the week because I was too messed up to go. I emailed all my teachers telling them I wasn't going, but I didn't fully explain WHY, just told them that a tragedy happened and I wasn't going and hopefully I got excused.

The only person I DID tell, in full detail, was my Spanish 1 teacher (I am in Spanish 3) and we were close inside of school. I am gonna file in a request for counseling because I am still processing something emotional, to which I told her. And she fully understand on what was happening and gave me her empathy and sympathy.

I spent Friday and today being at a hotel to which my mom's boss paid for because she told her (mom's boss) about the situation and paid for two nights just to get out of the house. I will say, it was decent to say the least, but now that I am back home it kinda just feels a bit weird. My house is connected to my (now late) neighbor's home, which is why and how the bullet went through the bathroom. When I went back on Thursday from staying the night at my mom's friend's place there was already a black tarp covering my neighbor's window because he blew it out. He did three rounds of bullets--one blasting his window and the other to get him to his resting place.

Otherwise, I am not harmed in either way, however, my mental state is a bit fucked. I hope everyone now understood what happened now that I have given the full context.

[celestialpotat0]

Rest in peace, dear Aunt Helene

If i had to describe today in only one word, the word would be brutal.

this past week ive been a mess... i had a doctor appt scheduled on my day off, i was sitting in the waiting room crying mainly about my aunt, then when i went in to see the physician i told myself i was going to hold the tears in. they did an ekg on me, i was relieved that i was allowed to just lay there instead of converse, because it gave me an excuse to close my eyes and tell myself to not to cry. when the md came in and asked me about me being upset because staff members had witnessed me crying in the waiting room, at first i told her it was nothing, i was ok. but she pressed on, and the tears came spilling out. it was embarrassing, i felt pathetic for being emotionally weak.

that night, i tried sleeping but i lay awake in bed for most of the night, stressing about my aunt. and i ended up getting only 1 hr of sleep before i had to wake up for work. the next night i couldnt sleep for a long time again.

i flew home saturday, spent most of saturday and sunday in the hospital with my aunt.

today, i held onto her hand and caressed it, standing by her side during her final moments. it was heart-wrenching to monitor her HR, SpO2, and RR when we removed life support, i.e., extubated. at first she was super tachycardic and super tachypneic... for the next three hours she continued to breathe on her own. her vitals were all over the place. body fighting to survive. watched her become super bradycardic, SpO2 drop and drop and drop, eventually she took her last breath, asystole, HR 0, RR 0.

i believe she was able to peacefully and comfortably go. yes, the body is under stress so the vitals and numbers look alarming af. but i think she wasn't in pain or discomfort. and this is what she wouldve wanted rather than prolonging her life in a way that she didn't want. i described her final hours purely just to say that death in general is so brutal, which is to say that life is so damn precious.

i'm going to miss her. it's so sad that she had the infections. so many memories. she worked so hard throughout her life, was a strong mother, experienced difficult times. i cant believe i wont be able to see her smile again. it hurts. how irreversible death is. but this shit happened and the only way to move forward and heal is for me to become a better person bc of this. Life is short and I'm going to hold my loved ones closer and try to treat them better. This gave me a different perspective where a lot of my previous complaints are so trivial now, and why am i complaining when im alive and not fighting to stay alive. i also just care so little now about things that i used to waste my time on, like social media and clickbait articles.

I also lost my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Helene's husband recently. I hadnt seen either of them since before covid. I wanted to write about those two different events too but i just never got a chance to due to time constraints.

thank you to my friends who moved around times to hang out with me yesterday and today due to me having to be in the hospital. thank you to all the health care workers working on their weekend. to the compassionate angels that are nurses. thank you to people (including my PCP) who listened to me and supported me.

leaving on a trip today and will not have wifi or phone service for this week. part of me is anxious about the fact that my emails will pile up impossibly high and i wont be able to respond to people who email me. but what this experience with Aunt Helene has taught me is that there are certain things that truly matter, and getting anxious about work is just a waste of this precious life ive been gifted.

ive also been nodding off repeatedly throughout writing this so this post very well might not make sense. i have to be up in about 5 hrs and am extremely exhausted from barely sleeping this past week. but i really had to write in here before i went to sleep.

[loisinherlane]

Consider this my magnum opus of why I love Booster Gold and why you should read these comics, but also: how Michael Carter and his family are connected to time travel. It’s kind of a hot mess because I run through a bunch of comics, but hopefully this makes sense!

Michael Carter, alias Booster Gold, is the first new hero introduced after Crisis on Infinite Earths. Booster is from the 25th century, where he was a college football player who got caught betting on his games and expelled, eventually becoming a janitor in a museum.

(Booster Gold (2007) #1)

At this museum, he befriends a security robot called Skeets. Eventually, Booster decides that he wants the adoration superheroes had in the 20th/21st century, and with future technology, he would be able to join up in the past. So Booster steals a Time Sphere, a suit, and a Legion of Superheroes flight ring. (Wait, the legion is from the 30th century, right? Yes. There are reasons this ring is in the past, and that’s mostly because Booster was always meant to become a superhero.) In the past, Booster establishes himself as a superhero, with a manager and number of sponsors. He’s about making money. This doesn’t necessarily make him a lot of friends. But he joins the Justice League International, makes friends with some heroes (including Ted Kord, the second Blue Beetle), and has a standard fare for a non-central character.

So flash forward to Countdown to Infinite Crisis. For those of you who haven’t read this one: This is a lead-in to the OMAC Project, and later, to Infinite Crisis, where Ted Kord notices a number of things that don’t add up. Unfortunately, Ted is not the most respected hero in the community, and no one quite takes him seriously. Wonder Woman says she’s busy but to keep her updated, and Oracle is trying to get him to pay more attention to other matters.

(Countdown to Infinite Crisis)

So Ted seeks out his best friend Booster to help. Booster, after some initial reluctance, joins up. There’s some noticeable moments where Booster hints that he knows some things about the future (particularly, that Ted is going to die, and the Scarab means that the new Blue Beetle, Jaime Reyes, is about to take over): Booster keeps staring at the newly found Scarab. He asks Ted when he found it. Ted, in his narration, hints that Booster knew Doomsday would kill Superman, and he still took the first punch.

(Countdown to Infinite Crisis)

All of this parallels what happens next: Booster shoos Ted away from the computer and takes over. Booster gets hit by an explosion meant for Ted.

(Countdown to Infinite Crisis)

Consider: Later implications of time travel suggest that some small things can be changed, but the big things can’t. If Booster knew what was going to happen, did Booster only postpone Ted’s death?

With that, Ted does die at the end of this story, and a part of The OMAC Project is Wonder Woman and Booster investigating Ted’s death. But as much as I love Ted, we’re mostly talking about Booster and time travel today. So moving on!

In Infinite Crisis, Booster is the one who fetches Jaime Reyes. After returning to the 25th century to access historical records, he tracks down Jaime via the scarab. (Of course, this is another example of a potential change: Booster says he may be saving millions or billions of lives, but this is unsubstantiated.)

(Infinite Crisis #2)

(Infinite Crisis #5)

So this brings us to 52, the fallout of Infinite Crisis. Booster Gold’s plot, while not obviously central in its introduction, plays a major role in bringing back the multiverse to the Post-Crisis continuity. Booster Gold, in the wake of the loss of his best friend Ted Kord, has sold-out again.

(52 #1)

With the help of Skeets, he’s returned to his origins. He wants to be a hero and make bank. Superman’s not around, so who else could Metropolis turn to?

Booster is on the outs though. First, with the heroes: Ralph Dibny blames him for not realizing his wife Sue was going to be murdered. Beatriz de Costa (Fire) shames him for how he’s acting after Ted’s death.

(52 #7)

(52 #4)

Pay attention to that notepad. Booster writes the names of Rip Hunter and his fellow Time Masters, as well S.T.A.R. Labs Time Travel Division. Everyone but Rip Hunter is crossed out. Rip’s name is circled, but he’s noted as “unlisted?????”

Because he’s noticed a number of events that don’t line up with the history Booster and Skeets remember, Booster goes to visit Rip Hunter in his Time Lab in Arizona. Skeets has to hold the door open because of the lock, so Booster goes in by himself...

(52 #6)

...and sees this... (Feel free to read what’s on the chalkboard. A lot of it hints to happenings in both 52 and the One Year Later event, as well as other stories. It can be fun to make connections.)

(52 #6)

...and this. Yikes.

We soon find out that Booster hired an actor to fake an incident on a subway. Why? Well... that answer’s not so clear. But considering the rest of the story, it’s likely Booster wanted to discredit himself.

(52 #7)

Unfortunately for Booster, this ruins his reputation with the public, and he’s soon replaced by a new, more humble hero: Supernova.

(52 #10)

And the public adores Supernova. Meanwhile, Booster’s sponsors pull out as his reputation goes down the drain.

Booster gets one last moment in the limelight, when he pushes too hard trying to upstage Supernova, and he dies... though he’s recognized as a hero for his tragic sacrifice.

((Hold on if you haven’t read 52. You’re going to find this one funny.))

(52 #15)

So... Booster is dead. Ha. What next? Well, Skeets seeks out Booster’s ancestor, Daniel Carter, for help to get back into the Time Lab. After all, Booster didn’t give Skeets the details.

(52 #19)

Daniel lets Skeets see into the Time Lab, where Skeets finally sees the same things Booster saw.

(52 #19)

Whoops! The real problem is Skeets. A little more menacing now, isn’t it? So Skeets abandons Daniel in the Time Lab, where he’s sucked into a vortex that’s part of Rip’s security measures. Meanwhile, Skeets is free to handle his evil plan. Whatever that is.

Back to Metropolis: Supernova is still out there, doing good. He’s also grabbing items that seem a little... eclectic. 

(52 #20)

And everyone is theorizing about who’s really under the mask. Cassie Sandsmark thinks it’s Kon-El. Lex Luthor thinks it’s Superman. Ralph Dibny puts the pieces together...

(52 #31)

But Supernova asks him not to say it out loud.

Later, we see that Supernova is actually working for Rip Hunter. Everything he’s gathered has been for Rip, who, as you can see, is really going through it. (Sad they never followed up on why Rip Hunter was affected like this, but I have my own thoughts that I might say later.)

(52 #36)

Where are they working anyway? In the jarred city of Kandor! Of course, Skeets can’t find them here, can he?

(52 #36)

Whoops. Spoke too soon.

(52 #37)

But who is Supernova? That burning question we’ve had for all these issues?

It’s... Michael Carter! Booster Gold!

(52 #37)

So, as Rip asks, Booster tells him. Booster knew something was off with Skeets. At the Time Lab, he almost asked him. But Rip Hunter arrived and recruited him for the long con. Rip needed Booster to gather materials, but they couldn’t alert Skeets. However, using a suit Rip rigged, Booster could be in two places at once: through time travel. After faking his death (using his real corpse from the future), Booster was sent back in time twelve weeks to complete Supernova’s actions.

Now Rip, Booster, and Skeets are engaged in a battle that, uh... is not continued until Week 50 on panel. If you count this as continued. I just love this panel.

(52 #50)

Actually, Skeets follows Rip and Booster to a lab where T.O. Morrow has searched the Red Torado’s brain to find out the truth of the 52 that he’s been repeating throughout the series.

(52 #51)

Of course, it’s not actually Skeets. The real Skeets was used as a chrysalis for Mister Mind... who has become a horrifying moth hellbent on eating the new multiverse.

(52 #51)

Rip drags Booster out, back to the Time Sphere, where they travel back to the beginning.

(52 #52)

After the events of Infinite Crisis, the multiverse was recreated. 52 identical Earths came into existence, and the same struggle has been taking place on all of them. These Earths are slowly aligning, and for some reason, Rip can see this, but Booster can’t. (Hold tight: Let’s keep in mind, for some reason, Rip was totally non-linear earlier. We’ll come back to this.)

(52 #52)

Rip intends to save all of the Earths, as they slowly settle into the new multiverse, with help from Supernova! ...This time, Daniel Carter, the Carter family ancestor that Skeets/Mister Mind used earlier.

(52 #52)

Bad news is that Mister Mind is still bent on eating a universe. As he eats parts of the various Earths, he changes their history, which leads to each Earth being unique.

(52 #52)

Booster has doubts about their ability to face something this big, but Skeets, now broken from Mister Mind, cheers him on... Booster heads back to the one place he knows to get the right power source, and Rip hints about Booster’s “glory days” soon to come. So now we know there’s a connection between Booster and Rip.

(52 #52)

But where is Booster going to get that power source?

(52 #52)

The immediate aftermath of the first crisis, where he talks a little with very young Ted Kord. (Sad.) Now we have to wonder how Booster knows to go back here? How much about time travel does Booster know yet?

Anyway, together, Rip, Booster, and Daniel succeed in defeating Mister Mind, and the multiverse is restored. Rip is very optimistic!

(52 #52)

So... let’s cut to Booster Gold’s second solo. Notice the title of his first story is “52 Pick-Up.” Booster, after saving the multiverse, wants nothing more than to be a hero again. He wants to join the Justice League again! Unfortunately, he’s recruited by Rip Hunter once again, who makes it clear that Booster’s destiny lies in time travel instead. And the world needs to think Booster is an idiot.

(Booster Gold (2007) #1)

Notice how Rip mentions his father? We’re finally getting somewhere.

Meanwhile, the other weird Time Stuff, that’s going on. Back at Rip Hunter’s Lab, Rip has written a number of interesting things on his chalkboard again.

Notice how Rip notes 1939 (the year Detective Comics was first published), 1985 (Crisis on Infinite Earths), and 2006 (Infinite Crisis). This shows how the crises actually affect time in the DC universe. Rip is, of course, aware of it. Is Booster too? How else would he know about the first crisis?

What is the connection between Rip and Booster anyway? Why does Rip care so much about Booster? Well...

(Booster Gold (2007) #1000000)

That’s right! Booster is actually Rip Hunter’s dad! So a lot of stuff we’ve been over must make more sense now.

But seriously, the Carter family is heavily involved in time travel, and the way it interacts with them is interesting. We’ve already seen how Rip isn’t linear when the timestream is disrupted... but what about the other members? How does this all affect Booster?

Honestly, I’m not sure. And I just ran out of energy for this post. If you want to know more, send an ask! And read the comics. You will not regret it.

[vole-mon-amour]

.

[mywritingonlyfans]

One Shot with Ethan Torchio // It's a bit Fluffly, Smut and Angsty

prompt: in which, ethan always need/visit you when he's not in tour + casual sex(?) with ethan tying you up so you don't touch him i'm telling you this but isn't a hardcore smut

warnings: it's smut. a fluffly kinda sexy(?)maybe it's just sexy bc it's ethan smut ig fem!reader

(he is so hot. i'm crying all my tears, and that's fucking pathetic.)

Your head hurt, you knew your face was probably red due to your desire to go home and cry, but yet, your friends convinced you to go out for a drink. According to them nothing was too bad that a beer couldn’t improve, you doubted it.

Somehow, you found yourself happy to have accepted.

You didn’t know Ethan was back in town, you briefly wondered why you didn’t know, since he always contacted you when he was near (or at least that was what it seemed to be). Still, you were glad to see him. He was always able to make things better, even if only for a short period of time; which in your case was very short one as he wasn’t yours to have.

Ethan complemented your friends, they were all too familiar to him. He hugged you, giving a small kiss to your head while sitting next to you. Suddenly, you felt like a stronger drink would do you good.

It wasn’t hard to tell what was going to happen in the next few hours, after a couple of years going through that, you knew the time you spent together would always be the same. You guessed that you were able to put his head in place, just as he did with yours; and that's why he always came back to you. You'd never be able to tell if it was luck or mischance.

“Was it too hard to find me?” You asked him.

By now, your friends had moved to another corner. “I mean, I’m not complaining, I’m glad you did.” You offered him a weak smile. He did the same.

He looked tired, yet deadly cute.

He shuffled his chair closer to yours, letting his leg touch your bare knee. “Not really, Victoria said she called you in the morning, then told me that you intended to visit here for the night,” he mumbled, signaling to the bartender that he needed a beer, and so did you.

“She’s a gossip,” you wrinkled your nose, causing him to provide offer you a nasal laugh that you had learned to find lovely over the years. “But what has been happenin’ in your life lately? You’re good?” You tried to sound casual, but deep down you knew he wasn’t there entirely for you. Something was bothering him, he was looking for someone to rest on.

“Pretty much the same,” he sighed heavily. He wasn’t tired just physically. “We finished the last album, I feel exhausted.”

He looked at you like a lost puppy, watching your face, analyzing if you were in the mood to listen to him, or even if you were okay with having him around. After all, he came to you out of nowhere.

He’d never make you uncomfortable around him, maybe he hadn't noticed that yet. “C’mon, let it all out. I haven’t seen you for too many months for you to deprive me of the details.”

“If I tell you,” he pondered, “ you’ll tell me why you have a runny nose to match your watery eyes?” He poked your cheek, dragging his fingers so he could put some strands of hair back in place.

His seat was now so close to you that you'd be able to rest your head on his shoulder if you wanted to without creating any bodily discomfort.

“I guess life just hasn’t been all that gentle with me lately.” You giggled at him. “I lost my job last week, the same life shit is goin’ on as usual, and when I finally managed to move to a decent place, I’ll now be actually going back to sharin' apartment with strangers, because, y’know, I can’t afford bein’ in there anymore.”

Ethan was quiet for a while, you needed him more than he needed you. Listening to you made him realize how his worries were nothing at all. He knew that you didn't mind sharing an apartment with someone, but the loss of perspective was always tough.

Without further thinking, he pulled you to himself, fluffing your hair and holding you tight in his grip. You didn’t cry, yet it was possible to read your emotions. It was little, but Ethan knew you.

You took your head off his chest while he still had his arm around your waist. Taking a deep breath, you stared at your laced fingers, feeling it slow down. “I guess it’s all happenin’ at the same time, I’m just not sure how to handle it at the moment,” he held your face in his hand, his mouth close to yours as he ran his fingertips over your chin, until his lips were on you.

He was soft and wet, he had the same taste you still had etched in your mind, at that moment it seemed to be all you needed. He let go slowly, distributing pecks on the corners of your mouth, letting his forehead rest against yours.

You two stayed like that for a few minutes and you could bet that anyone who passed by could see how much of a fool you were for him. You tried not to think about it too much, it was better to have little of him than to have nothing. “Ethan?”

“Huh?” He murmured with his eyes closed, giving your lips a tickling sensation.

“Kiss me more,” and then he did. Ethan was holding you in place while your hands intertwined around his neck. You played with the chain of his necklace, savoring the touch of his tongue on yours, focusing only on him while pulling at his hair to hear his soft moans.

It didn’t take long for the bartender to come get your attention. You laughed nervously against him, you were embarrassed because you didn’t even remember where you were, still Ethan seemed untouchable about it. He wasn’t one to be embarrassed over small things like that, at least not with you. The bartender was quite irritated with the two of you and just now you noticed that your drinks had arrived and hadn’t even been touched; he was rightly pissed.

Ethan stood up, lifting you up with him. You looked in your pockets for your money, but then Ethan said it was okay and that he’d pay. You would argue, yet any money left over would be welcome. You held both beers in hand as he paid, thanking the old lady for the service, still feeling your skin burning with embarrassment, and then headed outside to wait for Ethan.

“Are you drivin’?” He asked, laughing at your state of awkwardness.

You bumped into his shoulder slightly, laughing along with him. “I am not, I’m living nearby,” you whispered as he put his hand inside your skirt pocket, bringing you to his side for a walk. “In the apartment that soon won’t be mine… how ‘bout you?”

“Not drivin’, I thought about staying somewhere to spend the night.”

He was close to home, but not that close, it would take about 3 hours to get to where he lives; it seemed plausible that he wanted to stay. “Are you only here because of me?” You risked asking.

“Yeah,” he took his hand out of your pocket and ran it through his hair. “I didn’t think it‘d be a bad idea.”

There was a silence, but it was far from being uncomfortable. “You know you can stay with me.”

——————-

Considering that you were in the process of moving to another place your house was a bit of a mess. Ethan wouldn’t be bothered by that, somehow your instinct of wanting things always in place - aka Monica from Friends - made you wander around the space in an attempt to make Ethan at home.

“What ‘bout the new album?” You asked, dragging one of the boxes away from him. It wouldn’t even bother anyone, but the thought that it would be in the middle of the room while someone was at your house bothered you.

“I don’t really know, I feel anxious about releasin’ it. It’s not that I don’t want to release it or am afraid of doing so, far from that, it's just, I don’t know… ” His voice fell silent, lost in his thoughts.

You turned to him, wanting to ask him what he had said, after all, that didn’t sound like Ethan, you felt as his hands touched your hips, pulling you on his lap. “Y'know I don’t care about your mess, right? Just, please, stop walkin’ 'round the house dragging boxes.” He said with his face close to your neck, hugging you from behind. His warm breath was in contact with your soft skin, providing heat to your body. Well, there was a minimal percentage chance that you were trying to make the place look good for Ethan, just because he made you a little nervous.

“Okay, fine. I’m fine,” you exhaled, turning to face him. He was smiling with his eyes almost closing; he still looked tired, but at least you were improving his mood. “You know you’re good at what you do, Ethan. You shouldn’t worry 'bout those things.” You held on to his shoulders, breaking something that could turn out to be a pity silence.

He squeezed your thigh at the same time as he laughed humorlessly at your words. “I know that. I guess that this is the short time they gave us to finish the album – it was drivin’ me crazy. The album isn’t bad, not at all, it’s honestly very good. Dami did a incredible job, still if it weren’t for the time it could have been even better. That’s crazy how I’m still letting myself get stressed over this, don’t you think?” He vented, moving his hands up your skirt.

“I know it’ll be good, I can’t think of anything you did that ended up bad!” You ran your fingers over his covered shoulders, down to his chest, going to the first open button of his t-shirt. “But if it’s just stress I can help you.”

He lubed his lips, nodding assiduously, putting you properly on top of him. That way, you were stuck to his body, feeling the rough of his jeans along with the zipper against your underwear. You gulped as he held your face, sealing your lips with his. You were relieved he always guided you through that; the leading up part was way better when it came from him.

You unbuttoned the rest of his shirt in middle of sloppy kisses and grips. Running your hand over his belly, tracing your fingers to the back of his neck while moving your hips lightly. You lugged on his hair, pulling him away to catch your breath. You opened your eyes to find Ethan with a deep pink mouth and brown eyes more intense than normal, at that moment you could have sworn that he was the most beautiful thing you had ever laid eyes on. You spread his shirt to the sides, sensing your body getting hotter, when Ethan smirked at your rush, managing to hold both of your hands behind you; stopping you in place.

“No need to rush, we have plenty of time,” he clenched you in his hands. You arched your back, breathing heavily at each touch of his fingers on your wrists.

He ran his nose over your neck, placing kisses and bites on the way to your collarbone, leaving wet tracks that would later turn into dark marks.

Your legs ached from that position, the couch wasn’t the best, but feeling Ethan getting hard under you as you writhed yourself against him, made you want to stay there for as long as he wanted you to. It was crazy to think that at the beginning of the day you were sure that the rest of it would be a pure disaster, and now being spoiled by Ethan’s lips your worries seemed to fade away.

Temporary as that would be, you were determined to give him your all, making his and yours next hours one of the best escapes from both of you. Unnecessary to say that you were lost in your own mind by now, craving for having his strands in-between your fingers, wanting him tugged into you furiously, causing you to ache. Your mouth was ajar, your vision was just white dots as he played with your sensitive skin, driving you insane. Ethan paralyzed when his grip became too strong around your fists and you got louder than usual.

“D’you like that?” He did it again, but this time pushing your body backward. He kept his devilish grin on his face, watching you from top to bottom. You bit your lips, containing your noises to yourself. Such an angel in his eyes. “Up, babe. I need to see something.” He didn’t let you answer, not as if he needed to. You stood up in front of him, legs shaking with your head definitely not in the right place. “Undress.” He rested his elbows on his knees.

His face was serious, and you didn’t see any problem in obeying his voice, but perhaps, due to the lack of his body being glued to yours, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it when I tell you what to do,” He caught you by the hem of your underwear, helping to take it off while you got rid of your blouse. “Especially, when I just got you off my lap, almost unconscious 'cause of some kisses to your soft neck, pet.” He added, drawing circles on the inside of your thigh, smoothly going up to your center.

You felt your breath come to a halt. “You’re just too bossy.” You teased, confirming that your breathing was faulty.

He patted his nose over the damp stain of the fabric, placing a kiss there. “And you love it.” He pecked you a few more times, teasing you by running his fingers on the edges as putting the cloth to the side; never touching you where you needed him.

Almost involuntarily you took hold of his hair, bringing him closer to your core. And then, you understood his previous question, it wasn’t just about not being able to touch him, but also about the power he was having over you.

He cut his actions short and got up, hovering over you. “Tonight, you won’t be allowed to touch me, all right?!” He whispered, tossing your hair behind your ear.

That’d be comical in any other situation, yet with his body and eyes fixed on your frame you felt in his domain.

You nodded, diving into the way he pulled at the hair on the nape of your neck firmly so that you were looking at him. “Go on, babe,” He insisted on having the words he wanted.

“Yes, it’s all right, Ethan,” it was far from all right, you couldn’t do that. How could you go without touching, making a mess of his hair or marking your nails on his back?

“That’s my girl,” he praised you in between sighs.

He was excited while your face was overflowing with nervousness; not out of fear, but out of curiosity. He finished removing his shirt and indicated with his fingers for you to lie down on the couch.

You shut your eyes tight, with his voice echoing 'my girl’ in your mind, Ethan was lugging your wrists above your head as you did what he told you to do. He tied them with his shirt. “Is this hurtin’ you? Are you comfortable?” He tightened it in a knot.

Your head and elbows were on the arm of the couch, only your hands were unsupported. Although you weren’t uncomfortable, it was to be expected that pain would appear the next day; it’d be worth it. “No, it’s fine. I’m good.” You assured him as he knelt beside the couch, running his hands down your torso, making you squirm.

He went down to the hem of your underwear, taking it off with the help of your legs kicking the lace away. “Good then,” he warbled, pattering lines on your pubic hair. “Needy and in your proper place.”

“Bastard,” you swore through clenched teeth.

He grinned, admiring how your breast rose and fell in a quick but punctual rhythm while your hips fidgeted at his touch. You looked like a piece of art he had just created, swollen lips, filled in lovely marks on the collarbone. He found himself in need to concentrate on his breathing while watching you, to control his pulse as he reached his fingertips to your pussy.

“Ethan” you breathed out, forcing your fists. “Go on, please,”

With that, he held your hands, forcing them down and slid a finger inside you. Your lips opened in a sigh and he took the opportunity to kiss you, running his tongue over your bottom lip and nipping it to his mouth, keeping things on a slow pace.

You wanted to hold his hand, make him go faster or be able to pull the locks of his hair until he understood how much you wanted him, but you had no way of doing that, and you knew he was just doing that to provoke you.

His lips traveled over your neck again, this time giving light kisses, blowing air on the soft fresh he had left in there.

“You’re so gorgeous,” he said without even opening his eyes, delighting in your skin as he sped up, now rubbing his thumb gently over your bud.

You whispered something almost inaudible that Ethan recognized as his name. He raised his head, coming face a face to you. “Right there, huh?” He asked, focusing on the spot that was blurring your vision.

You groaned. The satisfying delight running through your veins. You closed your legs, wishing you could hold on to his body, but all he did was laugh, shoving his fingers leisurely into you.

“No, no Ethan,” you looked at him properly, thinking that if you hadn’t been with your wrists tied you’d have slapped his chest.

He wiped his hand on your thigh, and stood up slipping his jeans down his legs along with his underwear. You sighed at him, stretching your arms, staring at the ceiling to disguise yourself. Not that it was necessary, Ethan was already too much of a show-off when it came to you for your liking.

“You good? How’s your arms?” He doubted, getting on top of you.

He had his hair damp, falling over the spots on his forehead. Some of his locks was glued to his chest and his golden pendant dangled in front of your eyes. For a split second, you though about saying that you missed him, but you were wise enough to know better than doing such a thing.

“If I say that I’m not good. Are you goin’ to untie me?”

He pressed his chest to yours, your body sticking to his since you were both sweaty.

“Not even a chance,” He stroked your neck with his thumb, up and down, with a silly look on his face.

You grunted as soon as you felt how solid hard he was against your thigh, he aligned himself in-between your knees, holding on to your shoulders, and without hesitation he filled you up. Your body tingled and your voice failed, causing a silent moan to slip from your lips. His head fell over the crook of your neck and you could feel how dysrhythmic his breathing was. His warm body along with his breath hitting on your neck added a pleasant feeling in your stomach, leaving you dizzy under him.

“Move Ethan,” you tried to sound understandable, embracing his waist with your legs.

He thrusted deeply in you, leaving a breathed sigh of relief in your ears. You stretched out your arms, tightening your thighs around him. He held the shirt in your hands, preventing it from coming loose.

“No, I wanna touch you,” you whined.

“You will, just be patient, babe,” he squeezed your wrists in his hand.

Closing your eyes, you enjoyed the way his body was over yours, every movement and every delicate touch.

He went slowly at first, making sure you were taking all of him before going faster. Once he felt your walls clenching around him, he murmured a breathless 'fuck’, letting go of your hands so that you could finally feel him. You dug your nails into his back, kneading your body against his at the same time as he hugged you.

As you opened your eyes, he was already looking at you, with an intense gaze, building you up to feel sexy and wanted.

Both of you were a mess; sweaty and sticky. You felt a tingling ecstasy take all over your body, your toes twitching as you emptied yourself into him. He kept working on you until his body collapsed into yours, filling you up to perfection.

The last thing you remembered was having your fingers entwined in his hair, patting at it slightly as he whispered sweet nothing against your skin; just like a lullaby.

———–-------

You woke up to the noise of the television, trying to adjust your vision to the brightness of the daylight. Failing to stretch, you felt how sore your body was.

Your eyes searched for Ethan, finding him sitting opposite to you with a lazy smile and a cup of tea in hands, his attention was all on you. Friends was playing on the television, but you doubted he was really watching it.

“Good mornin’ babe,” his husky voice echoed through the room. It was the best thing to hear in the morning. “How’s it? Hurtin’?” He asked when you started examining your marked wrists.

He was fully dressed and although you weren’t, he had managed to get a sheet to cover you.

“Good mornin’. It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt,” you mumbled, scratching your eyes, curling up on the sheet. “How long will you be stayin’ in town?”

“Not long,” he paused thoughtfully. You already expected that he wouldn’t be with you for long, still sometimes you liked to think that it’d last longer than just a few days before he disappeared to another continent. “I need to go home in a few minutes, I’m going to take a flight at night to adjust the final details of the album.”

“Sounds nice,” you wanted to have the courage to tell him how he made things in your life look just right, as if he were some kind of piece missing from your puzzle. “I can’t wait to hear it, hear what your great fingers are capable of.” You ignored your thoughts. He laughed.

However, you truly believed that not saying anything was a wise move.

He lifted a cup from one of the boxes next to him, holding it out to you. “I made one for you too, I hope you don’t mind.”

You didn’t mind it, in fact, you loved the way he made himself at home so quickly. The home that soon wouldn’t be yours anymore. You wished Ethan could remedy your worries for more than just one night.

“Thank you,” you took the still warm drink in your hands, looking at him as if he were part of your decor. “You can smoke in here, I don’t mind that either,” you spoke up. You couldn’t even imagine that he’d have gone without lighting a cigarette all morning.

“The place is all clean, and smells nice. I bet you never lit one yourself, I wouldn’t do that.” He was right.

“Well, y'know that I don’t care about the smell, I just don’t see the need to leave the house impregnated with it.” You explained, remembering that Ethan’s house was a perfect description of that smell, yet you loved his place.

“I know this is going to sound strange,” he started. “But if you can’t find a place in time to live in… you can stay at mine, I mean, you know I am never home and as I’ll be travelin’ you could make yourself at home.”

He said it casually, and you knew he wasn’t lying, if you wanted to he wouldn't even think twice about letting you stay at his.

“No need, I’ll be fine. I do appreciate it though.” you took a sip of your now cold drink.

He bobbed, checking what you thought could be the time on his phone.

“You have to go, I guess?” You asked, your soft voice revealing you didn’t want that.

“I need to,” he gave you a small smile, getting up. “It’s gettin’ a bit late for me.”

“I see,” you went to him, adjusting the sheet on your body, feeling ridiculous for still being undressed. “I guess I’ll see you, right?” You added it while he picked up your stuff on the couch; keys, wallet and the pack of cigarettes. There was no answer for your question.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, heading to the door. “You could come and visit, spend a few days with us. It’d be nice.”

“On tour? Like a groupie?” You wrinkled your nose. His arms wrapping around you. You’d miss it.

He squeezed you into his chest, his tiny beard tickling your cheek. “You know you are much more than just a groupie for me, Y/N.”

You didn’t answer that. He pulled away and for a second you thought he was going to kiss you, but he didn’t.

“See ya Y/N,” instead, he kissed the top of your head. “Think about it, both about comin’ to visit and also about needing a place to stay for a while.”

“I’m sure I will, thank you Ethan,” you watched him, from his rumpled shirt to dark circles under his eyes. He’d always have a special space in your heart. “I guess I’ll see ya then.”

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<

taglist ( 'cause someone actually wanted to be tagged, i didn't even force anyone😁): @maybanksslut , @oro-e-diamanti

[sevmch]

hq boys as dads calling you while you're away bc your child wouldn't stop crying

characters: kuroo tetsuro, bokuto koutarou

warning(s): none, just fluff. kuroo is v father material aahh!!

a/n: this was sitting on my drafts for a while now. other characters coming soon 👀

kuroo tetsuro

you were overseas for two days to attend a convention that your job required which meant leaving kuroo and your child

kuroo was admittedly and without a doubt, a really good father so when he told you not to worry about them, you left without any worries at all

kuroo knew everything - how to prepare milk and baby food, changing diapers, how to get them to sleep, how to stop their tantrums, basically everything

still you bugged him all the way to the airport to call if something were to happen or if he needed help with anything such as locating the diaper and milk powder

afterall, he was rarely on baby duty since his job required more of his time compared to yours but he has never failed to provide you and his son the time and affection

the first day went by smoothly and without a problem, that is until the next day. your son just wouldn't stop crying so he had to call you to calm him down

no matter what kuroo did, your son just wouldn't stop crying even when he was cradling him gently in his arms and rubbing his back. their child has been crying for almost an hour now, only getting louder and stronger despite his best efforts to calmly shush him or lull him to sleep.

the morning went by pretty fine; kuroo fed, bathed, and played with their son - even changed the diapers twice. their son seemed to be in a pretty good mood throughout the morning but apparently, babies get mood swings too, and that's when the crying started.

kuroo tried basically everything from trying to get their son to drink milk, to giving the pacifier, and humming baby songs he could think of but all his attempts failed. their son wasn't bored nor hungry and was definitely not sleepy so it was starting to worry kuroo.

"hey bud, you're scaring me now," kuroo cooed, softly pressing the back of his hand against their son's forehead but the temperature was fine. kuroo knew all the baby stuff without sweat, even the signals of what they needed but this was entirely different. it was only when then their son pointed to the picture of the three of you framed on the wall that kuroo got his answer. pressing a soft kiss against his son's temple, he whispered softly, "i know bud, i miss mommy too."

kuroo grabbed his phone from the couch and called you, chuckling when you instantly answered on the first ring with a hint of worry in your voice. "tetsu, what's wrong? are you both okay? should i get on the next flight?"

"relax kitten, we're fine. we just miss you."

"awe, i miss both my boys too."

"mama's on the phone bud." kuroo switched to loud speaker, smiling widely at their son who looked at him with wide, doe eyes upon hearing your voice. the crying eventually died down as you kept speaking through the phone with your cute, tiny baby voice until your son fell asleep in his arms.

"is he asleep?" you asked.

"yep. hey, you should use that baby voice often. it's cute," he teased, grinning ear to ear.

"shut up."

the rest of the afternoon was spent at a mall near the airport, buying toys and new clothes and stopping by for ice cream before waiting for you at the terminal.

"look bud, there's mommy!" kuroo crouched to level with their son, pointing at your figure from a distance. their son's eyes lit up when spotting you, giggling and reaching out his other hand that kuroo wasn't holding.

"awe, it's my two favorite boys! i missed you both so much!" you said sweetly, dropping your bags to hug your son.

"i missed you so much, love." you hugged kuroo tightly when he stood up only for him to hug you tighter, peppering kisses on your cheeks.

"missed you more, kitten," he said softly, pressing a light kiss to your lips before carrying your son. you really had nothing to worry about.

bokuto kotarou

you were a little bit worried about leaving bokuto and your child even if it was just for a couple of hours. you had to visit your parents in kyoto and dropby for groceries on the way home

it's not that you didn't trust him, you were just not quite sure if the house would be exactly the same as when you left knowing how bokuto and your child loved to play A LOT

you considered calling akaashi to babysit the two lmao

bokuto matched your child's energy so while you're incharge of all the serious baby duties, bokuto was incharge of playing and goofing around with your child while you rested

really, your child got their hyperactiveness from bo

you were also the one who dealt with the tantrums while bo assisted, so when bo was left to deal with your son's tantrum alone, he panicked and was about to cry himself because your son was crying and it made him sad :(

you left the house around 6 am after preparing breakfast for your husband and son as well as the other things that bokuto will need for the day. althought bokuto spent a lot of time with your child, it didn't always include the serious baby duties so you knew for sure if you hadn't displayed the diapers and vitamins on the counter in advance, he'd be flipping the house upside down searching for them.

you also left a note on the fridge that consisted of all the instructions and reminders to serve as a guide. you trusted bokuto, of course, but you really just didn't want to come home to a mess.

bokuto's arms snaked around your waist and squeezed you lightly in his hug, nuzzling his face at the crook of your neck. "can't you just take us with you?"

"i'd love to kou, but our son just recovered from a fever so it's best if he stays home for now."

he nodded, visibly frowning. you cupped his cheek to get him to look at you. "kou, baby, i'll be back before you know it."

bokuto pouted, looking at you with puppy dog eyes and it took everything in you not to cancel your plans. "call me if there's a problem, okay?" you kissed him goodbye and left.

with the note you left him, bokuto had no troubles throughout the morning routine even during bathtime. he would send you pictures and videos from time to time so you wouldn't have to worry, also because he loved sharing things with you.

bokuto loved playing with your son, loved seeing the adorable smile and hearing the soft giggles during their playtime even if it meant having to crawl on the carpet with his son on his back like a horse.

bokuto was filming him walking around with a huge smile on his face, "come to dada, little guy." your son just recently learned how to walk on their own so their steps were still unstable and wobbly and this resulted to your son tripping on his own feet.

bokuto could shit his pants right now, quickly fumbling to his now crying son to comfort him.

"hey little guy, it's okay you're good, dada's here now." he's whispering comforting words while gently rubbing on their back but the cries only got worse, the tears streaming down the little guy's face nonstop and this made bokuto's heart sink, feeling his own tears pool in his eyes. "shh i'm sorry, i'm sorry... you're okay, i gotchu."

his hands hesitantly reached out hug your son, so fragile it scared bokuto. he was calling you now and thank god you answered right away.

"kou?"

"he won't stop crying and i don't know what to do, can you come home now please? i think i just made our son hate me."

you sighed, "he doesn't hate you, kou. can you tell me what happened?"

"i was taking a video of him while he walked around but then he tripped and i swear i was watching over him! he won't stop crying, oh god i'm gonna cry too."

"did he hit his head? is he seriously hurt anywhere?"

"no," bokuto mumbled and you sighed in relief.

"okay that's good. it'll be fine babe, kids fall sometimes, okay? especially at this stage where they're learning how to walk. just carry him around for a while and he'll eventually ca-"

"what if i drop him?! should i ask akaashi to come over??" he pressed the phone between his ear and shoulder, gently and carefully lifting his son from the ground, pressing him close to his chest despite being nervous.

"you won't drop him kou, i'll punch you if you do, and no, do not call keiji. you got this, babe, you're his dad and he needs you not his uncle."

it took a while to convince bokuto that he was going to be find and to get off the phone so he can start comforting your son. bokuto did as you said, cradling him in his arms while he walked around the house and pointing to the pictures on the wall until your son finally calmed down. the only problem was that his son would start crying again whenever he attempted to bring him down, tiny hands clinging around his neck and onto his shirt.

you arrived home around 8 pm, announcing your arrival only to be met with silence at the door.

"kou?"

your eyes softened as soon as you found him asleep on the couch with your son on top of his chest, his strong arms wrapped securely around the tiny human being. you quietly kneel beside the couch, stroking bokuto's hair which slowly woke him up.

"i'm home." you smiled.

bokuto brought a finger to his lips and you pressed your lips together, taking your son away from his arms so you can tuck him in for the night.

"i'm sooo tired," bokuto whined, resting his head on top of your chest and cuddling close to you as soon as you joined him in bed. "it's my turn to be baby."

you snorted, bokuto's soft snores filling the quiet room in just a few seconds. "goodnight baby."

reblogs & feedbacks r appreciated<3

2021 (c) sevmch | do not copy or repost.

[touyaz]

oh frick this is such a cool concept?? Congrats on your milestone bby!

Ok the matchup ! Either BNHA or JJK and I'll give you a pro/con type vibe list ok?

My best traits?

Generous- I will absolutely share my money/time with anyone. I love paying for the car behind me at starbucks, buying family and friends dinner, and lending a hand to help friends out for their projects. I love to spoil the people I love.

Compassionate- parallels with the generosity. I care very deeply about the people/things in my life particularly animals. I once left work early because I found a mouse still alive on a glue trap and spent two hours with oil and a paintbrush getting the lil babe loose.

Goofy- It's one of the biggest parts of me, I love having fun and will constantly be cracking jokes and generally being a living shitpost.

My worst traits?

Super sensitive - It's literally so bad. My partner breathes at me in the wrong tone and i'm either crying about it and shutting down or getting ready to fight about it for the next three days straight

Vindictive - goes super well with the sensitivity. that time I interpreted my partner breathing at me wrong? I'll bring it up in an argument three years from now. I struggle very much with letting things go.

Abysmal attention span- it's like two seconds long thanks to the crippling adhd. This ends up with me leaving messes around and losing things super often, since there are fifty projects I'm working on at once.

thank you <333 !

for you, i'm going to say anyone out of dabi, shigaraki, bakugou and megumi, if any of them are your faves im not sorry adksdhj they all hate your sensitivity bc it means they have to watch what they say/ keep their tone of voice in check, & thats just so much unnecessary effort. you either accept them and their bluntness or you leave. none of them sugarcoat their words for you bc they think that's stupid; you should hear it as it is + not let your emotions overwhelm you. they also hate the pettiness, like they have more impt things to do than argue again over some fight from weeks ago that they thought you'd gotten over. they think it's childish + get tired of it real quick. bakugou would argue back. megumi is quick to get the convo over with + move on/ leave. shiggy will ignore you/ leave. dabi is a menace + might purposely rile you up just because. bakugou + megumi especially hate your lack of an attention span. bakugou will help you keep in check but he gets annoyed easily if he has to keep doing it bc you're not listening to him, like he doesn't know how else to get the point across that you need to do certain things yourself, he cant do everything for you/ he can't keep cleaning up after you when he has his own things to do. megumi will also try his best, but he does get irritated when you lose smth + it ends up delaying him/ causing an even bigger inconvenience, especially if he had told you to do smth a certain way and you didn't listen to him. dabi + shiggy are indifferent to this, they dont rly care unless it impedes/ impacts them somehow. these two probably also hate how unnecessarily kind you are to everyone, both saying u should be more selfish/ only show that generosity to them bc the world is undeserving. think ur dumb for paying for other ppl's food when u could spend that on them :/

[icharchivist]

I have finished winter troupe debut episode! It was very dramatic lmao. Was enjoyable though. Winter troupe all had very interesting characters and It's nice to see a troupe that is all adults.

Since I complained about spring troupe issues being solved by not talking about it. I have to talk about how winter troupes issues were solved by literal outside forces trapping them or letting them read peoples minds.

I'm guessing they did this because unlike the teens who are more willing to be open about themselves and pester others,,,, adults are a lot less likely. (Before winter the adults were, sakyo, and itaru? cause the uni students aren't really adults yet. sakyo opens up to Izumi because he knows and trusts her. Itaru. Hasn't really opened up yet but he's getting there.) Whereas winter troupe is a group of strangers and the two who know each other literally are in the middle of massive misunderstanding/fight?/idk mutual disappointment.

(Also misumi just getting trapped in random time loops???? Holy shit is he ok???? Like he was able to figure it was tsumugi and tasuku this time but what if he doesn't know the people? I have so many questions)

Ok rant over. I have accepted that magic exists in a3 and all it wants is for people to get along and understand each other. But yeah once I crawl through the events and next act I have to rewatch spring hahaha. I definitely wasn't fair to them.

Homare oh my god. Just. Holds gently. I want to protect him. No one deserves to be called a broken cyborg :(

Gahhh all of winter troupe I just want to protect.

Also I saw fuyupoly is a thing? Because I'm excited to see the troupe develop more.

(you said you had a Google drive of the inbetween acts events :eyes: should I message you or something?)

tHEY’RE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.....

And yeah tbh when you talked about Spring having communication problems my first thought was “oh BOY you haven’t seen Winter yet” DLKFJDLFKJDFLKJDFLK

I. think about Winter much more than i should but yeah, pretty much it’s the fact they’re adults and strangers and just. are extremely conflict avoidant, all of them, for various reasons. Tsumugi because of his crushed confidence, Tasuku because he struggles to convey his feelings and he lost Tsumugi in the past, Hisoka because he litterally has no past and it freaks him out (Homare was spot on when he said Hisoka knew he couldn’t defend himself), Homare because he’s scared he’ll mess up again, and Azuma because he spent his life keeping people at armlength.  They’re all adult and agreeable people, and they are also all pretty understanding in some way, so they let some conflict pass by hoping it will be over soon. Some of them like Tsumugi, Azuma and Homare are also pretty analytic of people on a psychological way so they can try to navigate with what they know. 

But in the end without communication it’s not going very far, but they don’t really know how to do it when all of them are adults who have got used to it. 

so yeah, like you said it’s really that they’re adults and that unlike the youngest ones i think it’s just. they’re all used to compromise and compromise a part of themselves as well. 

but yeah the magic being the thing solving it cracks me up all the time i’m just. Like. okay. Okay cool okay. Normal. Like. Thematically wise i think it’s because Winter is a season that’s so cold and sad but there’s a bit of magic in it (like the magic of christmas) and i think that’s what it is meant to echo but that’s. so out of the blue DLKFJDKLFJDLKFJLDF that said once that just accepted i really love the way the three magical events reflects the characters (Tasuku and Tsumugi needed to reconnect and find back the comfort they had with one another and plushies are considered comfort items that helps transition into a safer place, it’s also linked to childhood and those two are childhood friends. Homare and the loupe are pretty straight forward, he needed to see closer, deeper. Azuma and Hisoka both were locked into a room, isolated, just like their past (or in Hisoka’s case what his flashbacks implies) make them feel isolated, having experienced loss).). I am FASCINATED with Winter. i just. akjhfkdhfkdjfmldjfmd?? sljhfjldk.

but aah i’m glad you enjoyed the ride so much i’m so happy!!

and god yeah please someone check on Misumi i worry for him wtf

and Homare’s arc yeah!! yeah!!! his arc is one of my fav arc i just. really love how it all plays out. It’s really rare to see a story goes “here’s a character with low empathy: and he’s the most loving and kind character you can imagine”. The way he struggles from it, how sad it makes him, this way to see himself, everything makes me want to cry for hours. I want to hold him so bad.

Fuyupoly is definitly a thing yeah. Fuyupoly my beloved. I adore Fuyupoly so much 😭 but Winter is honestly a slow burn, especially in comparaison to the rest of the teams. 

I actually didn’t think much of them at first read (Azuma and Hisoka were already my favs though, i’m so soft for them)(also i say that but i know i found back screenshot of me crying about fuyu on first read so i did feel a lot but it didn’t hit me until late, how much i actually cared), and now i legit can’t stop thinking about all of them. I don’t know how much it says about their slowburn or what it says about me but; Winter.

ANYWAY congratz on finishing the main story of act 1 :3c and yeah, i’d prefer if i could share it in private (bc it’s, a lot of content and if i provide it in public this is clearly piracy and DLKFJDF i know a3 tends to take down some of this content and i’m trying to be stealthy).

Though if you don’t want to come off anon, you can tell me in another anon’s ask, i’ll link you my drive, then you’ll need to send me an ask to tell me you got it so i can delete the post, if you prefer?

anyway the drive is up and ready anytime. i just didn’t update some of the latest act 2′s events but act 1 is filled and that’s the priority. so you know also this drive includes 1) Story events, 2) the songs linked to each plays (which tells the story of the plays, def recommand it), 3) All the backstages from limited time cards i could get. Backstages linked to specific events are inside their specific event files, else the cards which didn’t come in an event are in the “Scouting file”.  What’s important to read plotwise is the Event stories. The backstages are very good and i def recommand it but it may be overwhelming so you can skip them and come back later for them DLKJFLDKFJFD it’s really just the main plot of each event that you should watch.

(also i should mention only the first two events are fully voiced, the rest are just with some voicelines here and there, but i still recommand watching it bc of the mood with the music and the sprites and all)

so yeah ready to send it anytime you want  !! :3c

[makeroomforthejolyghost]

i just want it not to be true that if it’s even slightly cold outside i’ll spend the latter half of the night waking up every 10 minutes when my legs demand to be repositioned?? and i want to be able to feel annoyed by this problem w/out then getting more annoyed at myself, for giving a shit. like... my first response to each new, further sleep complication is a combo of “ignore it and hope it goes away” w/ “oh well, the sleep’s already shit, right? Always Somethin”--which would be nice if i didn’t predictably cq on that a few months later, when said complication has gone away (in this case due to warm weather) and then come back. i wish my natural stoicism could/would ever divorce itself from “psh! stop whining, u big baby.” but then the big-S Stoics’ writings have that problem too? so maybe self-contempt is just. the tailside of the being-ok-with-external things coin, and if i need a break from that now i should just... reexternalize my control locus, again, never mind that that’s the most internal-locus thing i could’ve said! wow this post got away from me

[dulcecatrina]

hmm i'm sending a few bc i love you and like hearing you talk about things so from part 1: 5, 9, 13, 15, and 20. and then from part 2: 2, 4, and 6

Babe.... I love you 🥺🥺🥺🥺

PART 1!

5. Do you collect anything?

Besides trash? Not really... Buygvkjf just kidding, I have many many notebooks, and many many pens, you should ask to see the picture I have of the time I organized my art supplies sometime. Besides that, I like cute things!!! Soft plushies or cute stationary paper or anything really!!!

9. What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?

I see, you want to expose me.

How about the time a certain someone made me an eleven hour playlist made up of 3/4ths love songs, and I thought it was platonic?

There was also the time I took a very high dose of paracetamol before school because I was in severe pain, and spent the entirety of my day in a daze, got stuck in an elevator (I pressed all the buttons) and just sat there on a ride, got rescued by the vice principal, apparently got escorted back to my classroom by the three Known queer girls of my generation, took two tests (one no-calculator math!), just laid back on a step and stayed there, and fell asleep on my best friend’s lap.

Then I went to tell my literature teacher I wasn’t at my best, and she loudly proclaimed, “Yeah, cause you’re high!” as the principal walked by the door.

13. What do you like to do when you’re feeling stressed?

Well... sometimes I call a certain someone, sometimes I take a nap, sometimes I watch romcoms to cry, laugh and believe in love again, or wholesome/funny youtube videos, listen to music and yell along to musicals. I have on a couple of notable ocassions gone out to my garden at 2 am with tea, a stool and a jacket.

15. Favorite animal?

None.

(Cats. Bunnies. Sheep.)

20. Have you crossed anything off your bucket list in the past 2 months?

Started taking singing classes! :D Took another dance class!! Wrote love poetry with someone uwu

PART 2!

2. Do you think everything happens for a reason?

Yes, absolutely. Everything we go through teaches us a lesson, makes us have new experiences, opens new doors. I’ve suffered... a lot, for other people, and I would like to think that whatever I went through prepared me for the good things I have now, so I could see them and appreciate them, and that now I can see warning signs earlier.

4. Do you think love at first sight is legit?

You’ve asked me this before!!! I will repeat: I don’t truly believe in romantic love at first sight? But I Do believe sometimes you see someone and you Need to know this person, or are instantly drawn to be friends with them. Sometimes you fall in love and go, “Oh, it’s you.”

6. Do you believe in karma?

Yes. I don’t mess with the juju tho vjhfbtisfo

I think what we put out into the universe eventually comes back to us, so I try to remain positive!!

Thank you babe I love you!

100 Random Questions!!!