#i just wish they could eat ice cream together. :(

[distortedplatinum]

Sie wird sich nicht an mich verschwenden Ich weiß Feuer und Wasser kommt nie zusammen Kann man nicht binden sind nicht verwandt

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[all4yoi]

𝒩ot a bet﹕hyung line

𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ⚹ cw: each member ranges from 5-1k wc, fluff, lowercase intended, they swear, crying, uh someone kneels, not proud w heejake's 😞, not proofread ( lmk if i missed something! )

sypnosis : upon learning that you were merely the stake in a bet, they wasted no time in mending your relationship.

part one !

★ LEE HEESEUNG ( 0.8k wc )

"y/n wait!"

heeseung's voice only made you walk faster. you didn't want to humiliate yourself further by stopping and talking to him. all you wanted to do now was to just march out of the school, go home, lock yourself in your room and maybe eat a tub of ice cream while you ugly cry yourself to sleep.

"y/n, please." heeseung pleaded, taking your elbow in his grasp as he spun you around and pulling you closer to the point you can feel his breath on fanning your nose.

he looked at you pleadingly. "it's okay," you managed to say in a shaky voice. "i understand, you can all laugh at me all you want now-" he shook his head, "it's okay really!" you added, pursing your lips.

"i just want to be left alone now okay?" and even if he knew you didn't mean just 'now.' he'll respect your wishes and let you go, but he won't give up.

heeseung watched you walk away from him with a heavy heart, wanting nothing but to just explain everything to you before it was too late. he couldn't lose you, not like this.

when he couldn't see your figure anymore, he messily messed his hair and made his way back to the gym eager to teach a guy how to not spit nonsense.

it's been a week since that happened and a week since he's seen you in the school. he asked some of your classmates and club members but all he received were nasty glares and short cold answers. what happened between the two of you spread like wild fire the following day you walked away from him. everyone knew you were kind of a nerd, but they also knew you were a complete angel and had a heart soft as a pillow.

they also knew that betting on a person's feeling isn't exactly it. — more under the cut!

so throughout that week too, his popularity decreased day by day. he used to receive heart eyes on the hallways and joyful 'good morning, heeseung!'s by random students, now all he received were judgemental glances and they avoided him like a plague, scared to be the next target of a cruel bet.

he didn't care though, all he cared about was your wellbeing. it's been a week and you've still yet to show up to class, so imagine his surprise when you suddenly walk in to the room with your usual hair do, your bag slung over on your shoulder and your glasses almost falling off your nose bridge.

he sat up straighter, gulping as his eyes followed your every move. he could feel hear heart beating louder, as if it was calling for you, desperate to be near you again.

he needed to fix this, asap.

it felt like forever before heeseung heard the bell ring. as soon as he heard the annoying sound, he messily packed up his things and ran after you.

"y/n!" your forearm was then again grabbed by him. although this time, he turned you slowly. heeseung silently admired your face. he missed you so much.

"let me explain, please. it's not what you think. i promise." he whispered, vulnerability in his tone. the simple nod you gave was his signal to interlace his fingers with yours as he looked for an empty room.

you ignored the looks everyone threw your way, either worried and judging. all you could focus on was his warm hand on yours and how you missed it so much, you didn't even realize you both were now inside an empty classroom.

"there was no bet." you furrowed your brows, looking at him with mixed confusion and frustration. "i promise, there was no bet."

"why would they say that then?"

"i don't know, but i promise there's no bet. throughout the months we've been together everything i've said was real." he said, desperate.

heeseung stepped closer.

"what i felt for you was real," he scrambled to get his phone from his pocket, opening his messages app. "you can go through my phone all you want, ask any of my friends-" you raised a brow.

"not those friends! i mean sunghoon, jay, jungwon.. you know." your raised brow made him sputter. "to be completely honest, they've been ignoring me after they heard about what happened.."

you looked at him hesitantly as you scrolled through his messages with shaking hands. you scrolled for so long, you even reached to the messages months before you both got together.

he didn't have any messages to his basketball team group chat unless it was announcements from his coach. the group chat with his actual friends were only filled with his pining over 'the girl on the back of his biology class.'

"heeseung.."

"there's no bet, baby. i'd never do that to anyone." he whispered, stepping closer. "i can't lose you like this.. i love you."

you sniffled as you came crashing on his chest, letting tears fall again. heeseung immediately wrapped his arms around you, sighing in relief as he finally have you back in his arms.

"i was so worried baby." he mumbled, kissing your head.

"i love you forever. i'll kill everyone who tries to get in between us again," heeseung pulled you closer if it was even possible.

"and if they do, i'll make sure to fix everything even if it means the whole world would hate me."

★ PARK JONGSEONG ( 1.0k wc )

jay was confused.

the both of you had a very well planned date tonight, so he was utterly puzzled to see that you weren't responding to his messages. for heaven's sake, you didn't even read his messages, he was just left in delivered.

he had tried calling multiple times but was only met with your automated voice telling him to leave a voice message. it came to the point that he had enough and decided to drive to your house.

throughout the drive, jay wondered what could've happened. he couldn't think of anything that would make you upset like this, he hoped that you just fell asleep and forgot to have your alarm on.

walking up the porch of your house, jay rang the doorbell and was met with your mom who opened the door with furrowed brows when she laid her eyes on him.

"good afternoon mrs. l/n, is y/n home?" your mother's frown deepened, hesitantly looking at the stairs behind her before looking back at him. "i'm sorry jay, she said she doesn't want to see you?"

that caused jay to furrow his brows as well. "wha- may i ask why?"

"i was hoping you'd tell me." if jay was confused a while ago, he was even more confused now and frustrated.

"can i see her, please?" he pleads, the older woman hesitantly opened the door wider to invite him in, and before he could ascend up the stairs, your mom stopped him.

"jay.." he looked back. "i don't know what happened to you both but take it easy on her, alright? she's been crying, i can tell." jay gulped and only nodded, sending your mom a pursed smile.

he knocked on your bedroom door, when no response came, he tried to turn the knob and was thankful that it wasn't locked.

jay slowly opened your door, seeing you curled on one corner of your bed as your body shook from your sobs you tried to keep silent.

he could feel his heart break at the sight. stepping a foot inside the room, he mentally cursed at himself when he accidentally bumped on to your mirror causing your head to shoot up in alarm at the sound.

your already glassy eyes was once again filled with tears as your eyes met his. jay barely dodged the pillow you threw at him, screaming at him to "go away and never show your face to me again."

jay frowned and came closer until he was sat on the edge of your bed, ignoring the words you just shouted at him.

"baby.. what's- what's wrong?" he asked, attempting to hold your hand but you retracted it and tried to throw another pillow at him. he swiftly caught it and brought it back down gently beside you.

"was it worth the one month of free car wash?" you spat through hiccups. jay stayed silent, confused.

"of course it probably was, that's what you do right?" the sight of your swollen and red face kept breaking his heart, he was still confused on what you were talking about but he'll let you talk.

this way he knew how he'd make things better.

"make me fall in love with you in exchange of a month's free of car wash.." you muttered, your eyes still boring on to his. at your words, it finally clicked. "..am i really worth just that much?" another sob.

right, he had forgotten to end the call when his 'friend' came barging into his apartment. you had probably heard all the nonsense the guy sputtered.. but surely you must've heard the way he defended your relationship and swore at that him too?

"i thought.. high school days were done jay. please just leave me alone now. you got what you want." jay shook his head, coming closer and pulling your body to his.

he wrapped his arms around you, his hand rubbing your back as you sobbed hard. he didn't try stopping you when he felt your weak punches that you threw at his chest, his own tears clouding his vision but he didn't dare make them fall.

"you got it all wrong, baby." he whispered, rubbing your nape as your face now rested against the crook of his neck. he ignored the wetness there. "i'm guessing you overheard the conversation with sungjae?"

you nodded, now calmer but not pulling away.

"did you also hear the way i told him to drop the stupid bet he kept insisting to happen? the way i kicked him out of my apartment?" you stayed silent, only sniffling as a response.

jay sighed, wrapping his arm around your waist tighter and pulling you closer.

"the whole campus knows sungjae's an asshole, baby. he was a jerk who thought that being a dick to others were entertaining, and i guess that's why i was like that back in high school.. i wanted to be accepted in their group."

"but we're in college now, i left that group but somehow sungjae's here and is pathetically still stuck in the past." he pulled your face from his neck, cupping your cheek and wiping away your tears.

"i've loved you since high school.. and there's no bet, baby. the moment he had found out i was dating you, he kept bringing up a bet about how long we would last.. but i always shut him out, told him to cut it out and that there will be no bet happening, especially if you're the one getting betted on."

new fresh tears come rolling down your cheek, this time they were tears of relief. glad to know that everything was real, that you weren't just a toy.

"you promise you'll cut him off starting now?" you whispered, looking at him with big glassy eyes.

"i've cut him since high school, y/n. it's him who's keep clinging to me. but i promise he won't be saying anything about the both of us anymore." jay pressed your foreheads together, pressing a soft peck on your lips.

"you will forever be the prettiest and the only one i'll ever love this much in this world, my baby."

★ SIM JAEYUN ( 0.5k wc )

jake watched you run away in confusion, staring at the laughing crowd and turning to look at your locker only to be met with the note he has been telling everyone to throw away.

he angrily took it from your locker, ripping the small paper into pieces. "how many times have i told you to cut this shit out? do you want me to report all of you for harassment and bullying?" he raised his voice at the crowd who had stopped their laughter.

"that's what i thought." he frowned, pushing past them and running after you.

jake knew what everyone was doing the moment it spread that he was dating you. he had received dms telling him he could do better and if he was merely toying with your feelings.

he had told them countless times to drop it, even going far as to almost punch the person who has created the bets if it wasn't for sunoo holding him back. he had hoped that it wouldn't reach you. it was another one of his reasons on why he always went to school earlier, just in case it was placed on your locker. unfortunately, you were earlier than him today.

it's not like he was tolerating it, he had tried countless times to report it but they'd only say it was probably only for fun and he shouldn't take jokes seriously.

but jokes were meant to be funny, right?

jake opened the door that lead to the rooftop slowly, peeking his head to look if you were there. to his luck, you were.

your back faced him while your bag was placed down carelessly beside your feet. jake approached slowly, not wanting to overwhelm you further.

"baby?" he mumbled loud enough for you to hear. you turned your head towards him, showing him your tear stained cheeks. "oh, y/n." he sighed and held your cheeks, wiping away the salty liquid off your precious face.

"jake.. why are you dating me, of all people?" you ask through tears, avoiding his eyes.

jake's eyes softened, he dated you because you were different from everyone who wanted to be like the everyone else, did that make sense? you were your own person, you didn't care about social status, wealth, his circle of friends, and whether someone was good looking or not. you were soft hearted, to the point that you had let others take advantage of that leading them to walking all over you.

and he hated that.

"why not you?" he said softly, tilting your chin up so that you could meet his eyes. "you're everything i've ever needed."

"you can tell the truth." you mutter, looking at jake. his mouth formed a pout, heart broken at the way you had so little love for yourself.

"i am telling the truth, baby." he whispers, taking your hands and placing them on his face before putting his own hands back on yours. "everything is a joke to them when i'm involved." you whisper, ignoring the way your voice broke.

"we don't care about what they think, they're all just jealous. everything we've been through and what i feel for you are real, no jokes." he smiled, pulling you closer to him.

"you promise?"

"baby i'd choose you over anyone in this world over and over again until the heavens above is tired of me."

★ PARK SUNGHOON (0.7k wc)

sunghoon frowned, confused and hurt. he wanted to fix whatever happened, so he took his phone from the couch and his car keys from the wooden bowl in his foyer.

it was when he was in the elevator that he noticed his phone was open. his breath hitched, finally knowing the reason for your departure and choice of words. sunghoon quickly left the group chat and started dialing your number.

it was true that you were a bet. were. he didn't even know why he agreed, maybe because he wanted so badly to fit in. he didn't want a repeat of middle school, so instead of being the bullied and made fun of, he was now the one doing those to others. he wasn't proud of it at the slightest.

that doesn't excuse his actions though. the longer he spent time with you, the deeper he fell. sunghoon never planned for you to find out this way, he already had a plan. first he had to get rid of his 'friends', tell you everything then ask you if you still wanted him to meet your parents.

guilt always ate him alive whenever you would stay over and sleep by his side. he couldn't bring himself to meet your family knowing he hasn't told you everything and the truth.

he felt like his heart would jump out of his chest as he stood infront of the door of your house. if he died tonight on the hands of either your father or older brother, he'd welcome death with open arms.

i deserve it.

he audibly gulped when the door opened, revealing.. you. the way your brows furrowed at the sight of him tightened his chest. he stopped you before you could even close the door on him.

"y/n please, let me explain everything.. o-okay?" the way his voice cracked and the unshed tears in his eyes almost made you give in, but upon remembering what you've read, the anger in you was back.

"explain what?" you spat, turning to look over your shoulder before back at him. "that all those months i've spent loving you," you pointed at him harshly. "was just for entertainment? tell me, what was in it for you, huh?"

sunghoon shook his head, the tears now flowing down his pale cheeks. "no, no! i promise, please i love you." he reached out but you stepped back, biting your lip as you held back the tears.

"just.. leave me alone sunghoon," he felt his heart crack even more. "you've had your fun, you can laugh about i all you want now." you were taken aback when he knelt infront of you, hugging your waist as he sobbed.

"what the-" sunghoon tightened his grip on you, muttering along the words of 'im sorry', 'never meant to be like this', and something along the lines of regretting something.

"sunghoon- oh my god." you groaned as you descended to face him. "please, i didn't mean to. i-" he hiccuped, "i'm sorry, i know it was stupid and there's no reason for me to accept the bet- but i just wanted to fit in. i wanted them to take me as a part of their circle- but, but i soon realized that it was stupid." he looked at you with swollen eyes, desperation swam in his dark irises.

"because i realized that hurting you isn't worth being a part of their asshole group. it started with a bet, i admit, but i truly love you, please believe me." a sob made its way out his throat as he clung into you, his arms circling your neck. "it wasn't a lie whenever i said i'd meet your parents, i was constantly trying to get rid of them first before i met your family, i didn't want to meet them until i've told you the complete truth."

your own tears descended down your cheeks, your heart hurting for yourself and sunghoon. you stayed on the floor wrapped around each other for a moment before you both helped each other up to your feet, he looked at you intensely with red bloodshot eyes. "i'm sorry, i understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore."

"i understand hoon," you whispered, bringing your hands to cup his face. "but you have to understand too that i can't trust you fully right up again." he nodded, putting his own hands on yours as he kissed your palms.

"i know.. and i'll spent the rest of my life earning it again. i love you."

— ౨ৎ thank u for tuning in ! @j-jinxee @slp23 @unsurereader @heelovesmeknot @sunshine-skz @hoondrop @jooniesbears-blog @jordan1024 @heeswif3y @outroherrr @harufluff @cheeseball0 @yjwluver @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @itjengirl @emiliasstuffs-blog @isa942572 @lufcxx @alienqbrain @woniebae @baekxo07 @titttuaf @chuuswifereal @kyanmeai @isabellah29 @deezbin @skzenhalove @eneiyri @a4ruby @saxytalks @denleave1088 @imdelulu @powerpuffstuts @hoonatic @dollydigital @chososloverfr @dummyf @chanyeolchannie @oddracha @wonwushu @strawberrynull @ceciloveshee @loumin908 @cexg68 @grassbutneo @gardenwons @pag-yerin @bora04 @iluvnikism @jellymiki

— i couldn't tag those who's usernames aren't in bold :(

[perfectlyoongi]

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who proposed to you on vacation on the outskirts of florence. four days of beautiful scenery and incredible memories were just a cover for Jungkook's true plan: in a green field dressed in brightly colored flowers, the two of you were having a small picnic while laughter and tender words danced with the gentle breeze of the day; and when Jungkook's question flowed as naturally as any other sentence he could have said, your heart immediately accelerated, sending waves of happiness and fulfillment throughout your body. “will you marry me? make a whole life by my side? only you and me?”

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who insisted on throwing floating lanterns at your wedding. but Jungkook didn't want any lanterns, no; Jungkook wanted your dreams and desires for your life to be written and decorated on the light fabric of the lantern, believing that, when they reached the vast starry sky, they would be able to cling to the various stars and guard your future forever. “the celestial magic of the stars will make all our dreams come true, you’ll see.”

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who kisses you under the rain on bad days. it was a simple gesture, something small and quite banal, but it was something precious, an action that warmed you inside and made you feel good, made you feel alive; it was between raindrops that Jungkook declared his love for you in the form of a kiss, the lips that sang so many promises to you and shared so many dreams reminding you that in all the darkness of the world, among all the rain and grey, there was always something warm, there was always his love for you. “just to remind you that after so long, i still love you. and i will love you forever.”

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who wears his wedding ring like a badge of honor. Jungkook was proud to be your husband; for him, you were the only person to exist, you were the only one who really mattered because you, quite simply, were incredible in every way; so, having a token of your love, something physical that people could see, only made Jungkook's eyes shine even brighter — after all, he was eternally united to the best person that could exist. “yes, i’m married to the love of my life. isn't it incredible? i’m the luckiest man alive.”

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who hugs you from the back in the morning and gently kisses your neck. still infected by sleep, Jungkook walked slowly through the kitchen, his feet leaving traces of need, his small yawns looking for you lazily; Jungkook's arms would wrap around you without any difficulty, squeezing you with all the love he felt for you, letting his natural scent mix with that of breakfast; Jungkook's lips kissed your neck innocently, an invisible mark of wishes for a good day beginning another opportunity to live life. “good morning. you weren’t in bed, i thought i wouldn’t have time to say goodbye.”

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who takes you on long car rides at night just to decompress. with the windows open to let the night breeze flood his car, Jungkook took you to different neighborhoods and streets without any destination in mind, just the desire to bring you a little peace controlling his steering wheel; soft music was gently played in the car, while the stars of the night guided you to moments of tranquility and serenity that made you realize that it was with Jungkook that life was worth living. “the night is beautiful today. do you wanna go out? we can eat ice cream later.”

HUSBAND!JUNGKOOK who will love you forever and ever. Jungkook deeply believed that it was the universe that brought you together; it was impossible for two such deep and similar souls to meet by chance — it had to be destiny. because, for Jungkook, your souls had already been formed in ancient times, wandering through worlds and constellations in search of a way of loving deeper than the spiritual — and here you two were, extending every fragment of your passion beyond the soul. “what are the chances of feeling like we’ve loved each other forever? believe me, we are made of the same celestial dust.”

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Damn you Brisket Five

Barbie dolls:five hargreeves x gn! Reader

Word: 4.1k

Summary: you and five (also Diego) get into an argument and he leaves you in the subway to cool off ha makes you promise not to get in the train what happens next will shock you

Warnings: mentions of killing, set in s4 minus the cheating, you're in the wrong but are extremely hard headed and kinda mean to Five and Diego, you try to punch Diego, you're picked up by Luther, brisket Five is a flirty dick, you eat a sandwich that reminds you of your grandmas and I described a slight "memory" so it might not match with anything you've experienced, one or two sex jokes I think but I idk, it's unclear where you are in the plot but it's not all that important, one mention of vomiting and stomach uneasy, Five's a little jelly

Inspired by: this and this

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration. Allison pointed at you in agreement, looking around your circle as you all argued.

“This is stupid; why can’t we go back in time and kill Jennifer? I’m sure she’s a sweet girl but we’re talking about the universe right now,” you said, looking around at the faces staring at you. Luther shook his head at you. Diego made a grimace, looking away from you entirely. Allison scrunched her nose. Lila flashed her teeth like an upset dog, staring down at her hands. Klaus snorted, somehow finding a joke in this. You look over at Five to find him pinching his brow.

“We are not doing that because that’s what the Commission would do. That’s not who we are.” Five said, agitation scaping at the sound of his words. You hummed.

”Well what’s your idea, genius?” You asked, getting tired of them pretending like they were picking out an ice cream flavor. Five looked up at you with furrowed brows.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He said, rubbing his lips together like it left a sour taste in his mouth. You rolled your eyes at him, looking around the group. Viktor held his finger up.

“I have an idea.” Everyone's eyes turned to him. “What if I just absorb all the marigold into my body and then get absorbed by The Durango?” You shook your head.

“No absolutely not.” You said, staring at Viktor to make sure he felt the sincerity in your voice. Luther scoffed.

“So you’re down to kill Jennifer but not Viktor?” Diego said, crossing his arms over his chest. You reeled back, looking at him to see if that really came from his mouth.

“Are you for real?” Diego gave a short nod. “Man fuck you.” You said before lunging at him. Diego pulled back, shocked at your sudden movement. Luther pulled you away, flinging you over his shoulder. He took three steps away from Diego so you couldn’t reach him even if you wanted to. You smacked Luther on his back while trying to wiggle out of his arms.

“Five control your partner,” Diego muttered. It sparked a few mummers of disagreement. Klaus grimaced at Diego. Allison reached over and smacked the back of Diego's head while Viktor whispered an ew. Five scoffed.

“Luther, put me down. Let me at him.” You whispered to Luther. Luther patted the back of your calf.

“No can do; you’re staying up there until you calm down.” You sighed at Luther’s words, giving up on getting out of shoulder jail anytime soon.

“Guys, what if we just all sacrifice ourselves to the Durango thingie?” Klaus asked, earning a unanimous no. You slumped against Luther, wishing he would just put you down already.

"Luther, turn around so I’m facing the group, would you?” Luther nodded, turning around so his back was facing the circle. You pressed your arms into his back, holding yourself up so you could make eye contact.

“What if we go back to where we had dinner all those days ago, use Five’s funky train? We go back to before Ben did his shenanigans; stop him; we don’t have this problem anymore.” You said, looking around the group to gain their reactions. Viktor raised an eyebrow, looking at Allison. Allison bit into her knuckle, staring at the floor to think it over. Five squinted his eyes at you. Diego started whispering to Lila. Klaus looked over to Five.

“That’s a possibility,” Diego said. Five shrugged.

“If Lila mimicked my power, we could most definitely get you all down there.” Five muttered. Luther gently set you down, turning back around to face the group. You straightened your clothes. You stood next to Five instead of Luther, still upset he basically put you in time out.

“Is that our plan?” Viktor asked. The group murmured different versions of yes. You glared at Diego.

“We have to stop home first, we can’t miss dinner with my family,” Lila said, glancing at Diego. You nodded, following after the rest of the group. You stopped by Diego, glaring at him.

“I really wanted to deck you. Still do.” You whispered. Five appeared next to you, grabbing your shoulder and steering you away.

“Remember who drives you around!” Diego yelled after you as Five directed you out of the house. You watched as he pulled you away from the group heading to the van, off to the side. You squinted at him.

“Just because I supported your idea does not mean I’m not still upset with you.” Five said, keeping his tone low. You furrowed your eyebrows. You crossed your arms over your chest, glancing over at the van to see most of his family pressed to the window watching you two intently.

“Why are you upset?” You asked not understanding where this was coming from. Five sighed, reaching out towards you. His hands hovered over your elbows in an attempt to soothe you.

“It hurt me when you spoke to me like that. You were talking like we aren’t equals. I didn’t like that you suggested that we kill Jennifer. I didn’t like how you treated Diego back there. I understand you’re annoyed and frustrated, a little hard-headed, but I still think you should be respectful to the people around you.” Five said, holding up a finger after each item he listed. You pulled back.

“I’m sorry, aren’t you the man who is regularly calling people names, and making insults? You’re the sarcastic pain in the ass.” You pointed at him. Five glanced at Diego and Lila joining the others in the car, pausing your conversation-argument so they didn’t hear.

“That’s different. I’m not blatanly trying to punch them.” Five pointed at Diego in the car like he was worried you’d forget. You scoffed.

“Oh, that’s rich.” You muttered. Five flung his hands out.

“How, tell me. How.” Five asked, getting more and more annoyed.

“You’re acting like I’m the worst person ever to swing on someone but need I remind you of your past job?” Five’s face fell before pulling into a grimace. He pointed his finger at you.

“I told you I didn’t enjoy the killing. Need I also remind you that you worked there as well?” Five asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You felt your heart beat faster as your anger grew.

“I never picked up a gun, you dickhead. I did paperwork.” You said, leaning closer, so he could feel the anger vibrating off your body. Five scoffed.

“You’re acting like you’re so much better than me, you ordered who got killed. You didn’t pull the trigger but you aimed. You’re just as much of a lowlife as I am.” Five held his arms out in a T-pose like he was saying, ‘This is it.’ You uncrossed your arms, holding them out to your sides. Five turned his back to you, facing the sky instead.

“That’s not what I said; this is just like what happened on the Kanas case.” You said, pointing in the direction of the van even though you weren’t sure if Kansas was that way. Five spun back around towards you, his jaw slack.

“You did not just bring up Kansas.” Five said in disbelief, staring at you. You nodded.

“I brought up Kansas.”

“Oh my- You and I both know that was not my fault. I thought we were past this?” Five said, grimacing at you. You shook your head, throwing your hands up.

“You never apologized.” You said, rolling your eyes. Five scoffed.

“Why would I apologize? It. Wasn’t. My. Fault.” You shook your head at Five. He huffed, spinning around again. You scoffed at him.

“You did the same thing there; you were acting like I was a horrible person. You started the argument. You almost got us killed, how is that not your fault?” Five groaned.

“Hey.. uh... you guys coming or what?” You heard Viktor yell from the van’s window. You and Five’s heads spun towards the van.

“Not now.” You both yelled at the same time, making Viktor turn the handle on the door as fast as he could to roll up the window. You and Five watched in silence as Viktor tried harder and harder to go faster. By the time it was closed, you two had taken a few breaths. You felt less radioactive but still pissed. Five sighed, looking up at you from staring at the ground.

“I think we both need to cool down.” Five muttered, reaching out for your hand. You grumbled before dropping your hand in his. It was seconds before you felt the sickness that came with Five’s jumps. You pulled away from him, finding yourself in his stupid subway.

“Damnit, Five. You know I hate that. I going to hurl.” You doubled over, supporting yourself with your hands on your knees. You took deep breaths while staring at the floor. You shrugged off Five’s hand when he tried to comfort you with a light back rub. You stood up straight when you felt your stomach settle. Five let out a sigh of relief.

“We both need to cool off, separate from each other. An hour or two tops. You can stay here, break shit. I really don’t care just do not get on the train. Okay? You have to promise me you won’t get on the train.” Five said, staring at you. You glanced over at where the train would be. “promise?” Five added when you were silent.

“Yeah, I won’t go on the train.” Five nodded before he blinked out again. You sighed, slumping onto the bench nearby. Maybe you should break shit. That vending machine was looking a little appetizing right now. You looked up at the loud sounds of the train screeching into your station. The train doors slid open, showing the very inviting subway seats that definitely wouldn’t hurt at all. You glanced over at where Five was standing. He technically wasn’t here. He did say it would be a few hours before he got back. Nothing was really stopping you from going inside. You didn’t even say ‘I promise’. So, does it count? You stood up from the bench, stepped onto the train, and settled into the seat across from the door.

The train lurched forward, making you glance around. You expected the train ride to be very short, only a few minutes, but you couldn’t fully get a feel for how long it had been. You got bored after a while deciding to find something to climb on. After failing to hang upside down four times, you got bored of that too. You laid across the seats on your back, closing your eyes to take a nap. Then the train stopped. You peeked an eye open, glancing around for monsters before sitting up. You stared at the door as it slid open.

Then, what you least expected, you saw Five. In his suit too. He walked past the open door before stopping at the window next to it. He backpeddled, staring at you with a confused face. Just as you were about to defend your case, he started running. away. His fancy shoes clicked on the floor as he ran. You stood up, chasing after him.

“Hey, man. I know the argument was kinda rough, but it wasn’t that bad.” You yelled after him. Five glanced over his shoulder, picking up his pace. He skidded around the corner, almost tripping on the way. You reached the same corner after a few seconds, stopping in the middle of the hallway. In the middle of the subway station was a diner. ‘Max’s Delicatessen’ over the door in big bold letters.

You picked up your pace, walking to the door and swinging it open. You stepped inside, ignoring the bell on the door. You stopped when you saw what was inside. There was one Five, out of breath and leaning on one of the tables. Probably the one you chased. Then every other customer and worker here was Five. They all turned around, pausing what they were doing to stare harder. You held your breath before spinning back around for the door.

“Oh no. Stay. Please?” You heard Five’s voice. It had already said no to him. You turned back around, not sure which Five spoke to you. One of them stood up from his seat, almost knocking over his coffee.

“How did you get here without your Five?” The standing one asked. You pointed behind you.

“Train.” You heard a few Fives snort, which you thought was odd because FIve liked to pretend he hated your pain-in-the-ass-ness. The Five you chased after, turned around to face you.

“Where’s your Five? Did he die?” He asked. You heard the Five next to him mutter something about being gentle.

“No, well, not right now. He hasn’t. He’s probably pouting in the car right now.” You said, stepping further into the restaurant. A Five sitting in the booth closest to the door gestured for you to join him. You sat down in the booth, still looking around at all the Fives.

“Pouting?” the runner Five asked. You nodded.

“We go into a fight, a stupid one might I add. He told me to cool off here in the subway. So he’s probably pouting right now.” The closest Fives around you hummed.

“Did you bring up Kansas?” The Five across from you asked. You rolled your eyes.

“Listen, he was being all picky about how I had to talk to people while arguing over how we should stop the world from ending. It’s ridiculous.” The Five across from you sighed. He reached across the table, holding onto your hand. He stared into your eyes.

“I have really bad news for you, you were a little out of line. Most of us have had the same or similar argument, and every version of you was just a little out of line. It’s nothing against you.” The Five across from you said. Runner Five slid into the seat next to the one holding your hand.

“When we figure out what to do with our apocalypse, we have to be respectful to everyone else. If we hurt any of our bonds it could cost us the world.” The runner Five said. You nodded, staring down at the table.

“Diego told my Five to ‘get me under control’ and he was all like judging me because I said we should just kill Jennifer-“ You heard the Fives around you hiss, covering their mouths with their hands. “Which isn’t the best idea but we don’t have a lot of options here.”

“That probably freaked out your Five. We want to have entirely different morals than the Commission did. Diego was out of line with those comments but I don’t know if you should’ve swung on him.” The Five holding your hand said.

“Well, I don’t know how to get back and apologize. I fully went on the train to spite Five.” You said, slumping in your seat. The Five holding your hand, ran his thumb over the top, comforting you just slightly.

“You don’t need to worry about getting back. Anytime now, your Five will come through that door and whisk you away back home.” The Five across from you said, before dropping your hand to pick up his coffee instead.

“In the meantime, Brisket Five here will make you a sandwich.” The Runner Five said, pointing at the Five standing behind the counter with an apron on. Brisket Five waved at you, before sending a wink in your direction. You felt your face warm, looking away from him to instead look at the table. A few minutes later, of you making small talk about different aspects of your life with the two Fives in front of you, Brisket Five came to stand next to you with a plate. He set it down on the table before leaning over the table to smile at you.

“It’s your favorite.” He muttered, making the other two Fives groan. You glanced down at it. It just looked like a regular sandwich with toasted bread to you.

“My favorite from where?” You asked, keeping your hands in your lap. Brisket FIve grinned at you, pushing the plate just a smidge closer to you.

“From your childhood. The sandwich your grandma made for you after a long day of playing in the sprinklers.” He said. You stared down at the sandwich, wondering if he was fucking with you. ”Try it.” You glared up Brisket FIve. He should know that you hate taking any orders from Five. He tilted his head down, staring up at you with blown-wide puppy eyes. ”Please.” he whispered.

Even the Fives from other universes knew you were weak for the puppy eyes. You sighed before picking up the sandwich. You held it steady in front of your face, still not so sure about it. You glanced at Brisket Five once more before taking a bite. You paused when you truly felt yourself transported back to your Grandma’s house.

You could feel her warm blue towel wrapped around your shoulders while your wet swimsuit was still sticking to you. You could hear her muttering about your grandfather leaving food in the oven. You could feel how the table was just a little too big for you, having to lean forward to reach over the edge. You could hear the ticking of her clock.

“I thought you were messing with me.” You muttered, looking up at Brisket Five. He puffed his chest out just a little more. He stood up straight, brushing off his apron.

“You should trust me more often, my love. I’m more than just a pretty face.” Brisket five said, placing his hands on his hips and shrugging. You glanced over at the other two Fives at your table, both glaring at Brisket Five.

“Fuck you, Brisket Five.” The runner FIve said.

“You should know their Five is still alive, you should cut back on the flirting.” The Five across from you said. You glanced at Brisket Five out of the corner of your eye before looking back to the other two.

“Off topic but who’s Max?” You asked before taking another bite of the sandwich.

“I am!” Someone yelled back behind the counter. You glanced over to see another Five raising his hand. You looked back at the Fives you had already met, confused more than when you found out there were more than two Fives.

“We are. Dickhead.” Brisket Five yelled back. Max frowned at Brisket Five.

“Get back to work, Brisket Five,” Five-Max said, before moving back behind the counter. Brisket FIve turned back around to face you. He winked at you again. He reached out and tapped your cheek with his pointer knuckle, giving you an odd sense of deja vu.

“Talk to you later.” He muttered before walking away to the counter. You shrugged, looking back at your sandwich.

“What. A. Dick.” Runner Five said. You hummed. Across-from-you Five grumbled while staring at Brisket Five’s back.

“Makes a damn good sandwich, though.” You added, sinking your teeth in again. You groaned at how good it tasted. You tossed your head back, staring at the ceiling. You heard the bell above the door ring. You turned around, looking at the door to see who it was.

In all his glory, was yet another Five. You squinted at him, raising an eyebrow. He caught eyes with you; he pressed his lips together and tilted his head in a ‘you really did this’ manner. You gasped, setting your sandwich down. You threw your arms up in the air.

“Five! Darling, I missed you.” You said, smiling brightly at him. A few heads turned back to see which Five you were talking to. Your Five walked over towards your table, sliding into the seat next to you. His hand inched for yours, intertwining your fingers.

“Thought you promised not to use the subway?” He asked, giving you a knowing smile. You tutted, shaking your head.

“I never said ‘I promise’. I just said I wouldn't which makes it a fib and not a broken promise.” You said, defending your case perfectly. Five nodded, and he leaned forward. He pecked your lips. Five lingered for a few seconds, his apology pressed between each other's lips. He pulled back and sighed.

“I’m sorry for being so dickhead-ish.” He muttered, knocking his nose against yours. You pulled back, shaking your head.

“No, you don't have anything to apologize for; I was the one being all dickhead-ish. I shouldn't have called you that anyway. I'm sorry. I should've treated you better.” You said, grabbing his other hand to hold as well. Five hummed.

“And Diego?” You scrunched your nose. Five raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, I guess him, too. I’ll apologize later.” You turned back to your sandwich, taking another bite.

“And what about Kansas?” Five asked. You made a sad face, making quick work of the bite in your mouth.

“I shouldn't have brought up Kansas because we both know it's a sore spot for the both of us.” You said with a monotone voice, sounding like a tired robot.

“That was nice to hear.” Five said before knocking your cheek with his knuckle. You got flashbacks to seconds before when Brisket Five left back towards the counter.

“Oh, by the way, Brisket Five was flirting with me.” You said before taking another bite. Your Five stared at the side of your face in shock. He glanced over at the other two Fives at your table. They both nodded while you kept your focus on your sandwich. Five leaned over the edge of the seat to look over your head at Brisket Five.

“What. A. Dick.” Five muttered. You nodded.

“That's what I said.” Runner Five said, pointing at Your Five. You set down your sandwich, looking over at Five.

“Do we have to go now?” You asked, giving him your best version of his puppy eyes. Five shook his head.

“You can finish your sandwich and then we can worry about the end of the world.” Five said, kissing your cheek. Yousmiled and focused on your sandwich again. Five rubbed your knee and started a conversation with the other two Fives. By the time you had finished, Brisket Five came back to take the plate away. He sent you a grin and wink. Five reached over and covered your eyes with his hands.

“Go away, Brisket Five.” Runner Five said. After that you said goodbye to all the other Fives, telling them you'll be back real soon. Your Five held your hand, gently tugging you towards the door. Just as you were about to get out the door, Brisket Five appeared next to you. He held out a ball of foil that looked suspiciously similar to a sandwich.

“It’s another sandwich, cause I know you loved it so much.” Brisket Five said. You took it out of his hands, cradling it to your chest.

“Thank you, Brisket Five.” You whispered. Your Five stood behind you, pressing his hands into your back, and gently pushing you towards the door.

“Yeah. Thanks, Brisket Five.” Five repeated from behind you. You two were out the door in no time, Five leading you towards the train by your hand. As you waited for the train to pull in, you hooked your elbow with Five’s. You leaned up to his ear, kissing the apple of his cheek. You pulled back at the screeching of the train pulling in. You walked into the train car with Five, sitting down next to each other. He dropped his head onto your shoulder as the train pulled away. You rested your chin on top of his head.

“I love you.” He whispered under his breath. You weren’t entirely positive that he wouldn’t fall asleep on the ride home. You dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

“I love you.” You hummed against his hair in response.

“More than Brisket Five?” Five asked. You glanced down at the sandwich in your lap.

“Have you thought about making sandwiches before?” You muttered. Five scoffed, reaching for the sandwich. You held it away from him, tapping his nose in a reprimanding manner. Five humphed.

“I’m going to kill Brisket Five.” Five whispered into your shoulder. You almost laughed at the feeling.

“Just keep his apron, it was kind of hot.” Five grumbled at your words. You gave him another kiss on his head so he was reminded that you were just joking. You thought about how you were going to apologize to Diego with words on the ride home. Diego apologized as well, bringing you a large plate of Lila’s family’s delicious food as an apology. Which you took very happily.

[jenscx]

LUCID DREAM — ning yizhuo

it’s been years without ning yizhuo in your life. it feels surreal; the day you walked out without an explanation. but just the thought of being able to see her again, it draws you back into the endless loop of loving her.

TAGS — angst, exes to ???, insecurity, model!ning, ambiguous ending, mentions of alcohol, making up, jmj wedding (we don’t actually get to witness it tho)

WORDCOUNT — 7.4k

you stare at the wedding invitation, written neatly at the top, the invitation is addressed to a ning y/n. you want to cry. the invitation clearly stating your ex’s name makes your heart clench uncomfortably. it’s a blaring reminder that your relationship ended and you’re no longer living in your childhood fantasy.

“fuck,” you swear, “fuck you, kim minjeong.” you want to murder minjeong, but who were you to ask minjeong to stop reminding you of your bitter ending? especially since it was your own impulsiveness that had ended the relationship. you could have been more understanding towards yizhuo, could have tried her best to resolve your conflict, but no. instead, you ran. ran like the coward you were.

you remember the brokenhearted look on yizhuo’s face, the devastated glimmer in her eyes before she had flipped her expression to another, like a switch. or more like a broken one, your brain offers unhelpfully. of course, the quiver of her lips had given yizhuo away almost immediately. you had known yizhuo for a third of your life, obviously you could tell when your soulmate– or in this case, ex, was about to break down.

you wish you had stayed, and simply comforted your soulmate like old times, but you couldn’t bear to watch yizhuo cry, because of you. you remember the look on your friends’ faces when you told them that you broke up with yizhuo, all the words they had yelled at her for betraying yizhuo. you remember the anger directed at you by yizhuo’s parents when you had sent them an apology letter. through the post, yizhuo had told you, letters felt more sincere than emails.

but perhaps the worst reaction wasn’t from any of them, it was simply from your own cat. meowing viciously when you had picked him up, bringing him together with you. the scratches lining your arms only serve as a constant reminder. mao, your british short haired, was desperately attached to yizhuo (and she was the one who named him too. what absolute luck.) his hostility could only be reasoned that he knew his owner had hurt yizhuo. if a silly little cat knew the extent of the breakup, what could that mean for you?

“wallowing in your grief again? that’s not good for you,” you peer up at chaewon, the only friend that somehow wasn’t connected to yizhuo. chaewon takes a quick glance at the invitation and giggles, “you’re going? i hope you survive, you haven’t paid this month’s rent yet.”

you merely sigh.

“the place’s gonna be filled with people who hate my guts, you really think i’m going? minjeong probably only sent this to piss me off.”

chaewon frowns, “you don’t seem pissed off, just sad. honey, you have to let me know if they’re bothering you, like actually. it’s not your fault, well– maybe it is, but you’re suffering too. it isn’t nice for them to do this to you.” you shrug in response. you deserve it. you deserve every stab in your heart, you deserve the tears that escape in the middle of the night.

“let’s drink tonight, okay? we’ll put on titanic or something and cry about life while eating ice cream,” chaewon offers. maybe it’s the thought of getting drunk, or titanic, or crying in your friend’s arms, but the offer is appealing and you find yourself agreeing too soon.

you can hear chaewon do a silent cheer. it makes you smile slightly and gives you enough energy to pull yourself up from the floor.

“i’ll go get the soju, just lie on the couch and relax!” you follow as your friend says and lie on the sofa you had picked out together after mao’s claws had sunk into the leather, ripping it to shreds. the cat was a brat.

doesn’t this remind you of something– or someone? the voice in your head quips. you groan, why couldn’t your head shut up sometimes? your heart drops as you recall the conversation between your parents when you had told them you broke things off with yizhuo. you remember your mother’s expression; disappointed and upset, a stark contrast to when you had told her that you finally found someone. the proud look on your father’s when you introduced yizhuo to them, god, why the fuck was yizhuo such an amazing girlfriend?

you caused this. you want to scream ‘no’. you’re the one who dumped yizhuo. who are you to be upset over thi–

“y/n? hey, stop thinking about it,” chaewon pouts, “don’t make yourself even more sad!” you blink back into reality and at the sight of chaewon puffing her cheeks out, holding two bottles of soju and a large bowl of popcorn, make you want to coo at the girl. you push the thoughts of yizhuo to the back of your head as soon as the opening to titanic appears on the screen.

you two laugh sometimes, mostly chaewon, but it’s quiet throughout the movie and you can’t tell whether you’d rather have chaewon’s comments about how cute the actors are or the silence that allows you to delve deeper into your thoughts. you take a sip whenever chaewon mentions how in love jack and rose are.

when you blink, it’s already at the part where jack allows rose to get onto the wooden door, while he stays in the freezing water. chaewon throws popcorn at the tv, apparently already drunk, screaming at rose to quote, “fucking move her ass,” for jack to get on. you take a large gulp of soju in the midst of chaewon’s sniffles.

“y/n…i can’t believe it… she just let jack die!” chaewon cries out, “the love of her life, she just let him go! how could she just let him die?!” you nod, trying to drink the already empty bottle of soju.

when you stand up, the whole room swirls and you stumble back onto the couch. “don’t let her go, y/n!” you jump at the close proximity of chaewon’s voice, “don’t let the love of your life go!”

you hum in agreement and scream, “i won’t let her go!” determined, you pick up your phone and the selfie of you and yizhuo greets her. you miss her, don’t you? of course not. you don’t miss her at all. change your homescreen then. you wouldn’t.

you roll your eyes and enter kakaotalk.

y/n [11.38pm]:

i kiss you

i miss you*

read [11.39pm]

“i did it, chaewon!” you exclaim, “i didn’t let her go!”

drunk you is apparently an idiot, since we all know, if a ‘i love you’ can’t solve a crack, obviously a ‘i miss you’ wouldn’t be able to solve an earthquake.

i miss you too. i miss you so much it hurts. but how could you say that, when you’re the one that left me first? yizhuo doesn’t cry as much anymore. she doesn’t sob into her pillow in the middle of the night anymore. the couple posts that appear on her instagram feed doesn’t make tears well up in her eyes anymore.

it still hurts. hurts as much as it did before. and yizhuo might just have to live with that pain everyday. the misspelt word makes her heart throb, in affection and pain, because she could imagine your voice in her head. are you hurting as much as she is? it doesn’t make the stabbing pain in her chest any better to know that the one she loves is suffering.

yizhuo stares at the glaring light from her phone. i miss you. really y/n? she wants to scoff. you were probably drunk out of your mind and sent that text on a whim. or maybe it was meant for another girl. the thought makes yizhuo want to cry.

is there someone else you call ‘baby' now?

fuck, you think, oh fuck. the read blaring on your phone, as if mocking you.

“shit,” chaewon groans, holding her head, “what happened last night? did we accidentally kill someone?” you wish you did. you take a deep breath, and scream. if the neighbours show up the next moment, it’s totally because of the night before, and not your scream at 8 in the morning.

you calm down. eventually. you calm down after chaewon grabs your shoulders and wiggles you back and forth, yelling for you to get your shit together. it only worsens the raging headache the both of you have. if rent wasn’t so high nowadays, you would have immediately fled and lived alone. kim chaewon with a hangover was not a good sight.

“whatever! you drunk texted your ex! whatever! hashtag yolo right— ah fuck, the room is spinning,” chaewon shrieks, “ugh, why did we drink so much?! but! your life isn’t over! so what if you texted her? it’s okay, we stay delusional and pretend things never happened!”

despite the wacky talk chaewon gives, it actually helps. texting yizhuo, while drunk, was a mistake. you nod hastily, “i get what you’re saying, but please let me go.”

chaewon loosens her grip, pursed lips as she huffs, “the most badass thing you can do now is go to the wedding.”

your eyes widen, “what the hell? kim chaewon, are you crazy? no, you’re insane.”

your roommate only grins lazily, “it came with a plus one invite, right? i’ll go with you. it’ll be okay! and don’t you wanna see your friends again?”

“i do, but most of them hate my guts,” you wince, recalling the angry messages left by aeri and minjeong, none from jimin, that probably speaks for itself what she thought of you, “they were yizhuo’s friends first, and mine second. when it comes to things like this, they would, rightfully so, take yizhuo’s side.”

chaewon whistles, “yeah it’s not looking too good for you right now.”

you flop onto the couch, sighing, “if i see yizhuo, i’ll freeze up and make a fool of myself.” your hands fly to rub at your eyes, groaning miserably, “i guess i’m not over her.”

chaewon slides into the space next to you, scoffing, “you think? having her number saved and pinned is crazy and the last time we talked before this, you were in love with her. what happened?”

your heart constricts painfully. you never spoke about your breakup to anyone, only asking chaewon if she still needed someone to split rent with. the moment you had uttered those words, you had left the shared apartment with yizhuo, not turning back to watch the love of your life collapse.

“i…” your throat dries up, “i was in love with her, i guess i still am. i don’t doubt that she felt the same for me, but maybe not anymore. our relationship was the best thing to ever happen to me. the happiest years of my life were when i was with yizhuo. she made me feel alive.”

tears prick at your eyes involuntarily. chaewon’s gaze is full of pity and comfort. sympathy. no one else gave you that.

“she wanted to get married, chaewon,” you whisper, “she was ready for marriage. i wasn’t.”

“oh.”

“i saw her looking at engagement rings one day and god, it was like, how have i never noticed before? she always shows me videos of weddings and how she would want her wedding to be like, but i never stopped to think whether i wanted marriage. i didn’t know what i would say if yizhuo just proposed. would it have hurt less for her if i said no rather than breaking up with her?”

chaewon presses a comforting hand to your shoulder, sighing, “i’m sorry, i literally see two of you right now but i’ll try to articulate this as best as i can.” her words draw out a hollow laugh from you. “you just weren’t ready yet, and yeah, you should have communicated that to her before jumping in to break up, but have you ever thought that you weren’t ready because you didn’t love her enough?”

you swallow, tears flowing down your cheeks freely, “n-no, i love her. she’s my favourite person. i love her so much, too much even. but getting married? that’s a lifelong commitment. i just didn’t know if she was sure that she really wanted to spend the rest of her life with… me. she has her whole life figured out. she’s a rich model who could have anyone else. we were childhood friends first, before girlfriends. and now she’s certain that she wants to marry me? what if there’s someone better for her out there? she’s only been chained to me because we got together so young. i just… had to let her go.”

“commitment issues,” chaewon states, “you have severe commitment issues.”

“i guess so,” you let out a watery laugh. your roommate chuckles, “you want her back?”

“yeah, i’m desperate.”

“let’s go to the wedding.”

you send a small smile to chaewon, “thanks, roomie.”

“i saw the invite by the way, and damn, are your friends rich? don’t get me wrong, i’m going as your moral support but the free buffet too—”

“i’m literally going to strangle you.”

yizhuo twirls the pen in her hand, watching it glide across her fingers and abruptly landing on the wooden table with a thud. she couldn’t stand seeing all the wedding preparations and chose to hide in jimin’s study. the door creaks open, a figure stands by the doorway.

“hello jimin unnie, aren’t you meant to be looking over the finishing touches of your wedding?” yizhuo asks, her smile dimming as she thinks about marriage. jimin frowns, “minjeong’s doing that. she told me to come check up on you.”

“me?”

“i know how you feel about weddings. we all do,” jimin says bluntly. yizhuo’s lips fall into a thin line. of course her friends were aware. they helped pick out the ring for god’s sake. the weight of a velvet box lying in her bedside table haunts her dreams.

yizhuo stands up from her desk, inching closer to jimin, a faux smile on her face, “you don’t have to worry about me. it’s your special day after all.”

“not yet, but let me worry about my friend for a while more before i get married,” jimin mutters, “minjeong sent an invite to y/n.” yizhuo’s whole body tenses up. a blurry image of you appears in her brain. she immediately shuts that down.

biting the inside of her cheek, yizhuo turns away from jimin with folded arms, “and? did she say she was coming?”

yizhuo hears jimin’s hesitance.

“just say it.”

jimin clears her throat, “she’s coming with a plus one.”

a distant thought forms. a plus one. your new girlfriend? did you find someone else? were you coming to the wedding to flaunt your new lover? yizhuo wasn’t dumb, she knew that her friends disliked you, heavily. minjeong most definitely sent out that invitation with disgust. jimin told her what minjeong had said to you. aeri had barely brushed it off, saying you weren’t worth her time scolding, despite the chain of messages she sent. she knew that you were aware they hated you. why would you come to the wedding?

“i-i’m not sure what’s their relationship, but her name is kim chaewon and oh my god, minjeong’s gonna kill me, y/n requested for a shared hotel room,” jimin utters out nervously. yizhuo’s eyes turn into slits. a shared hotel room?

“i see,” yizhuo says indifferently, contrasting the feelings bubbling inside her, “that’s good to know.”

jimin places a hand on yizhuo’s shoulder, “hey, it could all mean nothing, i don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“does it matter when i’m already like this?” yizhuo retorts back.

“i hope you don’t do anything stupid. before everything, you’re still my friend. if y/n showing up makes you uncomfortable, i’ll tell her she’s not invited,” jimin says softly, “minjeong will understand. you come first.”

“it’s your wedding, jimin. i won’t be a burden to you guys. it’s your day,” yizhuo mirrors jimin’s frown.

jimin’s shoulders slack.

“it’s not about that,” the older girl retorts, exasperated.

“what is it about then?”

“i don’t think minjeong will stay neutral and be calm when she sees y/n,” jimin groans, “she’ll probably pick a fight with her and i don’t want my wife to be stressed and angry on her wedding day.”

yizhuo can’t help teasing jimin, “wife, huh?”

jimin smirks, “yes, wife. you know last week, minjeong called me—”

“oh kay! i think you should go!” yizhuo yells, saving herself from the details of her friends’ intimate lives. jimin cackles maniacally as she leaves the study. yizhuo sighs and leans her head against the wooden door. jimin’s footsteps can be heard as she walks downstairs, along with the voices of her friends. they’re all scattered and anxious, she hears the distant shouting of minjeong and aeri. despite the noise around her, yizhuo feels somewhat at peace. for now. she doesn’t know what she’s going to do the moment you come to the wedding.

because despite what everyone else says, yizhuo cannot move on. you were literally half of her life and more. when you had uttered those words of devastation, it was like the world had ended. a terrible nightmare that tortured yizhuo every single day. was she too overbearing? sometimes— well, last time, you had mentioned that she was a very affectionate and clingy girlfriend. was that the sole reason? yizhuo frowns. no, that couldn’t be. you were equally as physically needy as her.

maybe you had found someone new? the plus one that was coming? that didn’t seem plausible either. if you were cheating, yizhuo would most definitely know and you abhorred cheaters anyway.

as she wrecked her mind for reasons, a common past time she developed after you had left, the constant rewinding of the conversation had been engraved in her brain eternally.

(yizhuo had just gotten off work, a smile on her face as she entered the house, heels clacking against the floor. the thought of you waiting at home impatiently for her only brought her smile to widen. maybe you would run up to her and embrace her warmly, complaining about how long she took. yet, neither of those happened and she’s left staring at you, hunched over, at the dining table, a suitcase packed by your side.

“what are you doing?” she had asked curiously. were you going on a trip? begrudgingly, you had gotten up, a sombre look on your face as you whispered, “yizhuo…”

that ticked yizhuo off. you never called her yizhuo. it was always baby, honey, sweetheart. but never yizhuo. it sounded so foreign and cold coming from your lips.

“what’s wrong? is everything okay?” she asked.

your face contorts into one of utter desperation and heartbreak, “i think we should break up.”

yizhuo’s mind had gone blank. she had never anticipated hearing those words from you. break up? that wasn’t in her future with you. her heart clenched uncomfortably against her ribcage and her throat constricted, to the point she couldn’t mutter a single word.

taking advantage of her silence, you run your fingers through your hair, the hair that yizhuo would so lovingly comb through every night as she whispered words of devotion into your ear, “i want to break up.”

“no.” is the only thing yizhuo can say. wide-eyed and stupefied, “no.”

you look as stunned as she is, yet the stark difference between the two of you, are the tears that threaten to tip over at every passing second in your eyes.

“yizhuo,” you pleaded, “i’m sorry. i can’t.”

“why are you doing this?” she croaked out, demanding an answer. the weight of the velvet box in her purse felt like it was dragging her down to the darkest pits of hell. she couldn’t imagine something like this ever happening. you were meant to be her happily ever after.

“i—”

yizhuo couldn’t stand it anymore. “tell me why you want to break up!” she yelled, the confusion and fatigue of her body overwhelming everything.

“i… please… don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“you don’t love me anymore? you found someone else?” yizhuo accused. of course, none of these were the true reasons. you couldn’t even look at yizhuo in the eye before murmuring an apology again and grasping the suitcase in your hand.

“i love you,” you had whispered at the door, “i’m sorry.”

yizhuo doesn’t even respond. pure shock overtaking her as she watched you leave. the moment the door had closed, sobs took over yizhuo as she collapsed on the floor, heartbroken and devastated at losing the love of her life.

if you truly loved her, you wouldn’t have left so easily.)

that statement plagues yizhuo’s mind for the next few years. it replays in her head repeatedly, like a broken mantra. she knows that it’s unhealthy; to be thinking of you every night before she succumbs to a dreamless sleep. yet, sometimes, yizhuo prays that she might be dreaming, and when she wakes up, you would be right by her side. jimin thinks she should get a therapist. but yizhuo doesn’t want to get over you. she fears that you might just become a hazy memory, lost in anger and grief. she doesn’t want that to happen. because despite everything, the pain you have caused her, she still loves you.

it’s strange, the way love works. yizhuo hates you for doing this to her; ruining her for anyone else because if they even bore a similar trait to you, she would just break down. like the blind date aeri had set her up on long ago. fresh out of the breakup, and with extreme bribery and convincing, yizhuo had met shen xiaoting, one of aeri’s friends, over dinner. aeri had said that maybe yizhuo needed someone closer to her culture, and with the homesickness she felt constantly, the lack of comforting words that you provided, yizhuo agreed.

that date was the whole reason aeri stopped asking yizhuo to go on blind dates, for when xiaoting had mentioned that she liked cats, yizhuo had started bawling, the memory of you playing with your own pet cursing her mind.

it was embarrassing to say the least, and even more embarrassing to explain to xiaoting that it wasn’t her fault. the poor girl had thought yizhuo had something against cats. aeri apologised endlessly as yizhuo cried, with an awkward xiaoting patting her shoulder. at least they became friends.

maybe, with the support of her friends, yizhuo would be able to stand the sight of you at the wedding. it would be totally fine! and if she sees you with someone new, maybe, just maybe, it would give her the motivation to finally get over you.

honestly, screw everything. you literally hate chaewon right now. thankfully, jimin and minjeong had provided a one night stay at the hotel. your apartment (and mao) was being taken care of by sakura, one of chaewon’s friends. there was apparently a party before the actual day. you assumed they would just want a shared bachelorette party. however, your self-proclaimed wingman was cozying up to one of the guests. by her straight posture and gentle expression, she was probably nakamura kazuha from high school. yizhuo was friends with her, you remember.

you couldn’t believe that all those words of encouragement had flown out the window the moment chaewon locked eyes with the ‘love of her life’. you roll your eyes, already annoyed with your friend. somehow, you still hadn’t spotted yizhuo amongst the crowd.

most of them, you didn’t recognise. some, from high school and college. the rest, probably family members. maybe some faces stood out, like shin ryujin from history class or jang wonyoung, the valedictorian. but mostly, unrecognisable. from the various mops of hair in the crowd, you spot uchinaga aeri’s infamous smirk. you wonder where the rest of the group are.

you sigh, taking a lonely sip of the champagne they provided. at least it was good.

chaewon’s obnoxious laughter fills the area. it’s loud and irritating, or maybe you’re just easily annoyed right now. kazuha just stares at her, all confused. it’s a little funny.

“y/n.” a steely voice rings out from the crowd. you whip your head, heart racing at the familiar but dreadful tone.

“oh,” you whisper, horror-stricken. you weren’t prepared to meet them now!

the older girl merely stares at you, before you bow your head hesitantly, “congratulations on your marriage.”

jimin visibly loosened up, her eyes twinkling and shining with adoration, “thank you.” perhaps out of all of yizhuo’s friends, jimin was the one who hated you the least. she didn’t bother scolding you or cursing you out, only choosing to glare at you.

“i think we should talk,” she finally says after a moment of silence. you wholeheartedly agree with her. if you were meant to see yizhuo tomorrow, you definitely needed another friend that wasn’t chaewon.

she brings you out of the function room, the starry night sky being the only company outside. jimin takes a long gulp of her champagne.

“why’d you really break up with yizhuo?”

the patiently and dedicated stitches of a sewed wound are ripped apart, directly exposing your bleeding heart and emotions. everything comes falling apart the moment she asks. you can only stare at her.

“i… i made a mistake,” you shake your head, “i wasn’t ready.”

jimin, patient as always, hums, urging you to continue.

“she wanted to get married. i didn’t,” you say, with grief and regret lacing your every word, because everything would be fine if you had just talked to yizhuo.

“we helped her pick out the ring,” jimin adds. you only feel more guilty.

“i can’t give her the life she wants, unnie,” the endearing term of intimacy slips out, a cry filled with desperation, “she deserves the world and i can’t give her that.”

“you were her world. it’s that simple. she only ever wanted you.”

hurt gnaws at your heart, it’s palpitating with raw stabs that echo of your heartbreak.

“i don’t deserve her,” you sigh, “i had to let her go. i couldn’t bear to see the look on her face if i refused her engagement.”

jimin nods, “i understand your fear. but i hate the fact that this could have been solved with an explanation.”

you groan, anger coursing through your veins. you were so upset and narrow-minded at the time. the only solution was to seemingly break up with yizhuo. it would spare her the everlasting pain from a rejection of her proposal.

“i know, i just couldn’t at that time.”

the older girl tries to smile. it’s akin to one of those encouraging ones she would give right before an exam or test. it sparks a shiver of nostalgia.

“jagiya, where are you— oh.”

jimin quickly straightens up, swiftly turning around to face minjeong with a grin, “hey, mindoong.”

you tense up, your fingers wrapping around the glass tightly.

“glad you could make it,” minjeong’s eyes flicker up and down your body, venom evident in her tone as she hisses, “y/n.”

nodding, you reply, “thank you for inviting me.”

the tension is overbearing; with minjeong’s glares, jimin’s beaming smile and your awkward shuffling, you couldn’t wait to retreat to the comfort of your hotel room.

“where’s your girlfriend?” minjeong suddenly asks. you stare at her, confused, “my what?”

jimin’s eyes widen as she hastily pulls minjeong aside, frantically whispering in her ear. but like the past, jimin has never been a good whisperer. you catch phrases like ‘she might not be her girlfriend’ and ‘what if yizhuo hears?’. a looming sensation brews in your stomach.

“kim chaewon? is that her name?” minjeong asks harshly, “didn’t take you to like korean girls, i thought you liked chinese girls instead.”

you’re visibly taken aback. what was minjeong saying? chaewon? your girlfriend? since when was chaewon your girlfriend?

“uh,” despite your fear of minjeong yelling at you, your words come out firmly, “chaewon isn't my girlfriend.”

minjeong falters slightly before scoffing, “yeah right. you don’t have to lie now. we all know that you left yizhuo for some other girl.”

your heart stops. what?

what was she saying?

leaving yizhuo for another girl?

“i— i would never… that’s—”

“minjeong unnie, that’s enough.”

you’ve thought of this moment forever. every single day after the break up. you’ve thought of running back into her arms, apologising endlessly for even thinking of breaking up with her. you’ve thought of how she would accept you graciously with murmurs of comfort, because that was just how she was. a gracious and generous girl who deserved the world. you’ve thought of her bright smile and gleaming eyes.

you’ve never thought of her staring at you, a dull and saddened look on her face.

“ning—”

“minjeong unnie,” she pleads, “please.”

the watery gaze must have swayed minjeong over. you would know, having fallen prey to her puppy eyes before. yizhuo slides the door open, watching intently as minjeong and jimin leave.

“good luck,” jimin whispers just before she steps away. you think you need all the luck in the world right now.

yizhuo lets out a heavy sigh once the door slides closed. she gazes at you for a second. you’re taken back to your younger days, where every day was spent just staring at yizhuo. you had proclaimed confidently that yizhuo was the most gorgeous girl on earth. you aren’t wrong. the years you spent apart from her had done her generously. it had only been two, yet, yizhuo looked more mature and sure of herself.

“did you really find someone new?” she whispers, shattering the glass of ignorance. you swallow, shaking your head, “no.”

yizhuo thinks back to the drunken message you had sent.

“was that on purpose? that text you sent,” she asks, eyes wide and afraid of your answer.

you shake your head again, “i was drunk. i’m sorry.”

“i hate you, you know that right?” yizhuo says. before, you had imagined the piercing stab of pain that came with those words. you had thought it would be the end of your life, with the girl you loved the most saying she hated you.

it’s understandable now, and inevitable.

“i know,” you whisper.

yizhuo continues to stare at you. somehow, this all feels like a fever dream, one that she’ll wake up from soon. it feels unreal to have you in front of her again.

she takes in the sight of you, memorising every detail for if you leave again.

“why’d you come then?”

there are many reasons that you can say, with varying degrees of truthfulness; to congratulate jimin and minjeong, to see your friends again, to just visit your hometown.

“i wanted to see you.” it’s the truthest thing you’ve ever said.

“you can’t,” yizhuo inhales sharply, “yo-you can’t just show up like this.”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

your head hangs lowly.

“tell me the real reason why you left.”

you had expected this.

she would want closure.

your throat constricts uncomfortably.

“i… yizhuo…”

“tell me.” it feels similar to your past.

yizhuo looks as beautiful as ever. she’s the only thing you can think of right now. her lips are moving, yet you don’t hear a single thing.

“i didn’t want marriage.”

oh.

the girl’s eyebrows furrow. her eyes turning into slits of anger as she takes in a deep breath. you know she’s about to start tearing up. maybe you should quickly explain yourself.

it’s your only chance.

“i saw you looking at engagement rings and i knew i wouldn’t be ready if you got down on one knee. you’re a model, for god’s sake. you had a prospering career, being tied down to someone like me wouldn’t bring you any benefits,” you finally say. it’s not the full reason why, but you hope yizhuo would understand even a semblance of your choice.

“i know that it’s a shitty excuse. i know that i’m a coward. but what else was i meant to do?”

yizhuo huffs.

“talked to me. you could have talked to me.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“would that stop me from breaking your heart?”

the love of your life stands before you. yet, it seems like the only words of devotion you’ll exchange is how devoted she is to hating you. yizhuo crosses her arms, frowning, “yes. i’d much rather have a minute of heartbreak than years of it. you’re such a prick.”

“yizhuo—”

“no, you don’t get to do this,” she points a finger at your chest, prodding the area where your head resides ferociously, “you can’t just come back, explain yourself with an extremely stupid reason, and expect that i would be okay with it. you sent me a drunk text, saying you missed me. how come i don’t feel anything?”

“i love you, yizhuo. i just did what i thought was right in that moment—”

the only thing you can hear is your heart shattering into pieces at the sight of tears falling down her face. yizhuo sniffles, her voice becoming shrill as she adds on, “you’re an asshole. you think you’re the only one in this relationship? you didn’t even explain yourself properly. you think you’re making the right choices for us? for me?”

you continue to stare at her blankly.

the next words come out like a gunshot, “then you don’t know me at all.”

it snaps onto your skin, leaving a scathing burn and engraving ning yizhuo’s name into your body. your insides coil up painfully. hearing yizhuo’s cries as you left years ago had been torturous, but nothing beats her breaking down in front of you right this instant. you’re overcome with a striking urge to pull her into your arms and whisper words of affection into her ears, promising her to never leave. the pet name leaves your mouth quicker than you can think.

“baby—”

a sharp stinging sensation sears in your right cheek. you can feel the affected area heating up, scorching hot and red. yizhuo’s handprint is evident, singed in your skin.

an onslaught of tears rises, but you’re determined to not let them fall.

“okay,” you whisper, unable to say anything else to the equally stunned yizhuo, “i’ll leave. i’m sorry.”

the girl just stands outside in the cold, her eyes bloodshot and cheeks rosy from the wind. before you go, the slight shiver that runs through her body makes you hesitate. the comfort of your jacket feels like a heavy burden now.

maybe you would get slapped again. but at least yizhuo wouldn’t be cold.

gently taking it off, you encase yizhuo in your jacket, biting your cheek (which still hurts!) to resist a smile at how it covers her small figure. she gazes at you like a deer caught in headlights. you sigh and try to move your legs, but they feel like jelly. with much difficulty, you finally make it to the door, using the frame to stabilise your wobbly walking.

when you turn back, yizhuo isn’t staring at you, but she’s staring at the night sky, more specifically, the moon. you take one last look at her. the weight on your shoulders is gone now. and all that is left is a longing feeling to have yizhuo back in your arms again. but maybe, you could live with that.

sliding the door open, you go back into the function room. the crowd had dispersed, leaving just a few people chatting around. you spot jimin and minjeong talking while drinking. aeri’s at the bar, engaged in a conversation with a waitress. chaewon, god bless her, is relatively nearby, while kazuha is nowhere to be found.

“chaewon,” you breathe out, relieved. she turns to you, startled, “oh damn, what happened to your face? you look a little…”

“i know,” you laugh dryly, “i think it’s time for us to leave and go to sleep now.”

chaewon doesn’t argue and instead nods, her eyes drawn to the reddening mark across your cheek. even in the dark light, she could still notice the imprints of someone’s fingers.

“she slapped you?” she asks while you head towards the elevator.

“yeah,” you scratch the back of your neck, “we kind of… argued.”

chaewon laughs heartily at your misfortune. you’re glad at least this brings someone joy. maybe minjeong too. she would love to see you in pain.

“i think you should get some rest buddy,” she pats your back. you nod, feeling as if sleep was just an arm’s reach away.

the conversation with yizhuo had drained you significantly, both mentally and physically. and maybe you should put some ointment on the red area too. you might wake up with a bruise or something tomorrow.

the urge to flop into bed is too strong as chaewon slides the keycard into the slot. the door opens, revealing a luxurious hotel suite with a king-sized bed. you remember requesting for a shared room. it was to mainly prevent yourself from doing anything reckless when drunk. you’d have chaewon to keep you grounded.

“did you get kazuha’s number?” you ask as chaewon throws her face cleanser at you. the girl giggles, “yeah. she’s so cute.”

you subtly cringe at the lovestruck look in her eyes.

groaning, you head into the bathroom. your eyes widen as you prod at your cheek, shocked that yizhuo landed such a heavy hit. damn, has she been going to the gym lately? the yizhuo back then barely had any strength to resist your tickles. there wasn’t any surging hot anger left from yizhuo slapping you, just a dull and yearning hope for her. maybe you should calm yourself down by taking a cold shower.

after dowsing yourself with water, you padded out of the bathroom, only to discover that chaewon wasn’t hunched over her luggage anymore.

you check your phone.

chaewon [10.27pm]:

zuha texted me, staying w her for the night

there’s ointment on the bedside table

for ur stupid face

bye :p

wow. chaewon had managed to do that within a day. staying at a girl’s hotel room? you whistle lowly. maybe she was onto something. but with her departure, the hotel room feels too quiet now. only the breezing and fluttering sounds of the airconditioning accompanying your thoughts of self-loathing. collapsing onto the bed, you reach out for the ointment.

just as you unscrew the cap, the doorbell rings. you don’t recall ever ordering room service. maybe it was chaewon and she forgot something?

you turn the door knob, not bothering to check who it was.

“chaewon—”

ning yizhuo stands before you, glassy eyes and a look of desperation that you’re familiar with.

“oh.”

she shuffles awkwardly, gesturing at your cheek, “are—is it okay? does it hurt?”

gulping, you shake your head.

“can we talk?” she asks, in the quietest voice ever, her words coming out shaky and breathless.

you open the door wider.

yizhuo mutters a soft, “thank you,” as she enters the room. you quickly send a text to chaewon telling her not to come back.

“did you put any cream on it?” she asks.

“no, not yet. i was just about to,” you reply quietly. the tension from the heated argument from before had disapparented, only leaving a strained relationship behind.

“can you sit down?”

you follow her instructions dutifully, sitting right at the edge of the bed. yizhuo lifts the ointment up, squeezing a bit on her finger before gently rubbing it into your cheek. it hurts, but the softness of her touch heals the area.

wincing as she applies more pressure, you can only stare at the girl.

“i’m sorry,” she whispers.

“it’s okay.”

you want to pull her into your arms.

you want her to lean onto you.

you want the feeling of her skin against yours.

“i was really hurt.”

“i know.”

yizhuo sighs, her hands dropping.

“i can’t believe you left me so easily.”

your chest tightens at the devastated tone in her voice. it wasn’t easy, you want to say. but it doesn’t feel right to defend yourself now.

“i thought it was the right thing to do.”

yizhuo lifts her head up, “why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to get married?”

“i don’t know,” it comes out in a hushed murmur, “i didn’t want to tie you down. you had a lot more things to accomplish.”

“i’d rather have you and nothing than losing you and having everything.”

the confession goes unsaid. because you’re her everything.

“i’m sorry. you just had your whole life in front of you and i was in the back. i… i didn’t fit into your life.”

the girl takes everything in. you were just so afraid then. scared that once you said yes to her proposal, yizhuo might realise that you weren’t the one for her. you’d rather be away from her, than be with her and make her unhappy. you didn’t want to live a miserable life where you hated each other.

“you don’t get to make that choice for me.”

“i know, yizhuo.”

yizhuo’s eyes are brimming with tears. her raven hair covering her face partially, but you can feel the pain radiating off her.

“you know that i would have been happy just being with you?”

“i know.”

“god, you still left like it was the easiest decision of your life.”

no it wasn’t, you again want to protest.

“you know that even in another life, i would choose to just have you by my side, even if i lose everything else? don’t you understand the extent of my love for you?”

it’s so surreal— the way yizhuo is practically begging for you to realise that leaving her was the worst possible choice for you to make.

“i love you too much.”

“then why’d you leave?” she asks.

through tears, you shakily breathe out, “because i love you too much.”

the lack of past tense doesn’t bother you, nor does it bother yizhuo. it’s a given that you’re still madly in love with the girl, and vice versa. it only leaves the question of what will happen now. yizhuo doesn’t say much afterwards. it’s the truth. you love her too much that you couldn’t bear to see her suffer because of you.

“i was so ready to marry you, i bought a ring,” yizhuo mutters, shedding tears. her sniffles aren’t concealed by the low humming of the air conditioning. it feels too real.

“forgive me, please,” you say.

“i can’t.”

the hotel room goes quiet.

“that’s okay,” it’s hard to say. you want to protest against everything, beg yizhuo to take you back and you could live your happily ever after with her.

it doesn’t happen. you don’t fall to your knees and plead.

you only stare at yizhuo in a mix of fear and longing affection. it pains you to see her so broken, and it only drives the knife further into your heart to know you’re the reason why.

“i’m so tired, y/n.”

you nod, feeling the fatigue seep in.

“me too.”

“can i sleep here tonight?” yizhuo asks softly.

you nod. there were still things to talk about, but you think you’ve done a decent job so far. pulling the covers over your bodies as yizhuo slides into the bed, you relish in the warmth and comfort of having her beside you again.

she turns her head to look at you, uncertainty filling her voice, “let’s talk more in the morning. i’m tired now.”

you agree with her wholeheartedly, inching closer to fit against her back.

as yizhuo’s eyelids flutter shut, you caress her skin tenderly. your index finger writes against her back, strokes lining her skin.

我爱你.

i love you. it’s one of the many phrases you’ve picked up throughout the years of being with the girl. she only taught you silly words and swears, but yizhuo had insisted you learn how to say and write those very words.

it’s fitting, because it’s all you ever feel for her.

because of yizhuo, you’ve had the opportunity to experience having a soulmate for almost your whole life. because of yizhuo, there’s no lingering doubt of being unlovable. because of yizhuo, you get to spend your days filled with happiness.

because of yizhuo, you understand what love is.

you just hope she understands you too.

[judebelle]

been thinking ab joao and reader hooking up behind his teammates backs'... like they've been "involved" for a while but sometimes the tension is too much and they have to sneak away iykwim ;)

sneaky - j.f. x reader

a/n : omfg anon ur gonna be the death of meeeeeee!! also i made this kinda long since i havent posted in a while, oops..

pairing : joao felix x fem!reader

word count : 2.3k

summary : joao and u prefer to keep your love life private, secret even, but the the flirty looks and knowing smirks from across the room are becoming unbearable.

cw : smut obv, lil bit of alejandro x reader, sneaky joao and reader, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it ppl), make outs, cursing, me not bothering to accent his name lol sorry

---

you were starting to regret going out to dinner with your friend alejandro and his teammates.

the only reason why being that one of his teammates had become more.

hooking up with joao felix on the down low has been fun, you won't lie. and while you enjoy sneaky quickies and flirty messages, there were times where you wish you could just tear off his clothes and fuck that smug smile right off his face.

you were currently sitting in a restaurant, a private room and table was booked for alejandro, his barcelona teammates, and their plus ones. you and alejandro had become inseparable ever since you met in spain a few years ago, and you had grown increasingly close to his teammates.

very close to a certain mr felix.

the first time you met joao, it wasn't anything magical, you just thought he was fit. alejandro had introduced you to him when he came on loan to barca recently, and you just couldn't get him out of your head.

it seems that the feelings were mutual, as that very same night he followed you on instagram. you, of course, played it cool and took your time following him back (you waited like 10 seconds).

from there, you two messaged often, especially after the team would hang out.

joaofelix79 : u got home safe?

ynsusername : ofc i did

ynsusername : alejandro wouldn't let anything happen to me

joaofelix79 : that's good.

you two started messaging more, sometimes even calling each other late in the night. you couldn't explain why, maybe he was just fun to talk to.

you would complain to him about work, and he would complain about a mistake he made in training.

eventually, you two started hanging out alone.

not anything crazy, of course.

joaofelix79 : hey

joaofelix79 : js noticed im about to drive by ur place

joaofelix79 : wanna get some ice cream? my treat

how could you refuse that?

it wasn't all that shocking to you when a surprise ice cream date turned out into a steamy make out session on a bench in a park in the middle of the night.

"we should stop, someone might see us.." you murmured against the portuguese boy's lips, you yourself making no effort to.

"ok, if that's what you want." he pulled away from you, his fluffy hair disheveled thanks to you.

"5 more minutes" you placed your lips on his again, feeling him smile against them.

from there, weekly hangouts became almost nightly. he would pick you up in his car, and you would drive anywhere. you just needed an excuse to make out. you even put your number in his phone.

eventually, joao grew tired of the make outs that led to nothing, and you did too.

12:03 am - joao : wyd

12:03 am - you : was ab to put some instant noodles in the microwave lol

12:04 am - joao : dont bother

12:04 am - joao : come eat at my place

12:05 am - joao : i ordered uber eats

of course, you went, and you two ate the chinese takeout he bought. you two sat and laughed together at his attempt at using chopsticks.

and then you found yourself perched on his kitchen counter, him in between your legs while he rammed into you mercilessly. you left red marks across his back and biceps.

"my god, you feel amazing, querida." joao's words were muffled as his head was nuzzled into your neck, his lips caressing your hot skin with every word he spoke.

"i'm so fucking close, joao.." you whined and whispered curses while your hands found themselves travelling from his arms to his hair, tugging on the soft brown locks.

"let go, y/n, i'm close too!" he removed his flushed face from your neck and connected your lips together again, breathing heavily into your mouth.

you came undone with a sharp whine, arching into him. his thrusts became sloppy as he let out a long groan against your lips, releasing into the condom.

that was the first time you two had fucked, and it definitely would not be the last.

his house was usually where you two would hook up because it was so big, and you didn't have to worry about anything when you were there.

you two fucked anywhere - on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, even in the laundry room.

you found that it didn't really matter where you were. if either of you were craving the other, it happened right then and there. it was fun. it kept you on your toes, kept things fresh and fun.

but it became a curse when you two were at a team dinner.

---

"si, i told him he could go fuck off if that was what he wanted. that guy needs to learn some manners, for fucks sake!"

the table erupted in laughs as pedro went on about some story that you weren't really paying attention to to be honest. you were sat right beside your good friend, alejandro, who was very intrigued in pedro's story and hadn't spoken to you more than twice this evening.

across from you was joao. he was wearing a black dress shirt that hugged his biceps perfectly along with black dress pants. of course, to make your life more difficult, the top two shirt buttons weren't done up.

one more open button and everyone would've seen the hickey you gave him the other-

"isn't that right, y/n?"

alejandro was speaking to you, and you were too busy staring at joao's biceps to hear him.

"hmm? sorry?"

"i said, it was you who i walked in on dancing silently in the darkness darkness of your room, right?" alejandro smirked at the sight of your cheeks going red, this memory being nothing short of embarrassing to you.

"yup, that- uh- that was me..!" you looked down in humiliation as the table giggled at alejandro's unexpected story about you. he loved embarrassing you, it was his thing. he found it fun because he thought of you like a little sister.

you looked up to see joao, laughing along with everyone else at the table, finding amusement in your misery. you shot him a playful glare.

"i'm only teasing, mi corazón." alejandro chuckled before ruffling your hair. "ale!" you whined, fixing your hair. his friends teased you. they all thought of you as their little sister, especially you being one of the younger ones.

the men continued on with their conversations as you continued looking at joao from your end of the table, only this time, he was looking at you too.

he was taking a slow sip of his water, eyeing you down.

joao wasn't the only one dressed all sexy tonight. you wore a short black satin strapless dress that hugged your figure perfectly. you thought of joao when you picked it out, you thought of him while putting it on, and you thought of him taking it off.

it seems that joao had the same thought. the way he looked at you from under his lashes gave you the impression that your outfit choice was a smart one.

you sent him a quick wink.

he smirked and dropped his eyes to your cleavage, widening them.

you rolled yours before continuing to eat your steak.

---

you couldn't take it anymore.

something the way he laughed with everyone at the table, his hair flowing when he turned his head. he had on a gold rolex and a gold chain, both glistening under the lighting over the table.

it was the way he carried himself with such confidence. he knew he was hot, and he knew you knew it too. that confidence definitely carried over into bed.

finally, you got up from the table, excusing yourself to "make a call".

shooting joao a quick look, he took the hint. his eyes followed you, watching you exit the restaurant and head towards the parking lot. after an agonizing 30 seconds or so, joao told everyone he forgot something in his car, and made a beeline to where he saw you last.

he saw you standing outside his car, waiting for him. he made his way towards you.

"so, who did you have to call?" he teased, his eyes waiting for your reaction. you scoffed and rolled your eyes, "very funny.".

you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you as you leaned against his car. he smiled down at you before looking over your figure.

"nice dress.."

"just take it off."

---

you two had squeezed into the back of his car, leaving nothing but surrounding street lights as your light source. you straddled his waist, rocking your hips while you smashed your lips against his. you two were breathing heavily, occasionally breaking the kiss to huff and puff before going back at it again.

joao's arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, his right hand occasionally sliding down to cup and smack your ass. his actions made you yelp into the kiss. your arms were everywhere. cupping his face, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his chest, on his abs.

it was like you two hadn't seen each other in years. like you were drowning and the only way to breathe was.. this.

your smooth rocking of the hips created a hard bulge in joao's pants which felt great on your throbbing clit. he groaned into the kiss, breaking it for you to breathe and to leave kisses down your neck.

"so, fucking, horny" he broke each word with a kiss. you moaned above him. "you can't even last one dinner party without my hands all over you?" you wanted him to shut up, so you grabbed his face in your hand and smashed your lips against his.

you started unbuttoning his shirt, but your hands were too shaky to do it quickly. "take this off, god damnit!" you groaned as he laughed and began unbuttoning it himself. you hiked your dress up and helped him with the last few buttons.

you moved his shirt partially off him, leaving it on his arms since you couldn't be bothered. you leaned down to kiss his chest while looking up at him. he was smiling down at you, hands rested behind his head.

he brought you back up to pull the top of your dress down just enough so that your tits would pop out. when they did, he licked his lips. now it was his turn to lean down and suck on them, making you tilt your head back and pant.

"joao, we dont have time for this-"

"shhh, patience princesa. don't worry." he went back to sucking.

"they're going to realize we're gone- joao!"

he couldn't bring himself to leave your tits alone, but when he did, you quickly reached down and undid his belt , not even bothering to pull it off.

"estás mesmo excitado, não é?" (you're really excited, aren't you?)

you nodded and bit your lip.

he unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his boxers. you raised yourself up on your knees and hovered over his dick. he held it up with one hand, the other resting on your hip.

"are you ready for me?" he teased.

"enough questions." you cut his teasing short as you took his cock in your hands yourself and sunk down on him.

joao hissed at the unexpected pleasure. he looked up at you, gasping for air above him before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"move for me, bebé."

you did as you were told, lifting your hips up until just the tip of him was left in you, before sinking back down on him, agonizingly slow.

he shuddered at the feeling.

you picked up the pace, causing the car to rock. your tits bounced in his face, causing him to twitch inside you.

"fuck, y/n, you're amazing-" you laugh breathlessly above him, your hands resting on his shoulders for stability while his gripped your hips tightly.

after some time, your thighs were burning, and you were getting tired. joao picked this up, taking control. his grip on your hips was put to some use as he moved your hips up and down for you. he lifted and dropped you so easily and made you move so much faster. you felt the air leave your lungs and arched your back to stick your tits in his face.

he grinned as he thrusted his hips up, meeting you in the middle. he tilted your body back, and started to hit the spot inside you that made you see white.

your pants and gasps turned into moans and whines as you felt the bundle of heat in your core.

"joao, i'm close" you warned, your nails digging into his shoudlers.

"i'm right there with you, baby, oh," he groaned and grunted as he watched him drill into you faster and faster. "meu deus, foda-se!" (my god, fuck!) he hissed with gritted teeth as he felt you clench around him.

his pace was too much for you to hold back. you let go with a gasp and moan, your hand slamming and sliding down the steamy car window, leaving a print.

joao was, indeed, right there with you. he pulled your body off of him and set you down on his thighs hastily before stroking his red, throbbing cock, cumming all over your stomach with a string of grunts and pants.

you both sat there in the hot and dark car in disbelief, covered in sweat and panting, after having the most mind blowing sex you've ever had. you leaned your forehead against his and smiled. he chuckled before teasing you once more.

"let's go. we don't want to miss dessert, do we?"

[ham1lton]

mind of mine.

pairings - lewis hamilton x singer!reader

faceclaim - beyoncé

warnings - 18+ content.

summary - lewis has just dropped his first full length album after winning his final championship. the internet goes wild trying to find his muse.

author’s note: thank u so much for the support so far and a reminder that requests for my 500 followers celebration are still open! 💕

— part one of my 500 followers celebration ♡ —

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liked by lewiswifey, landonorris and 493,789 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: lewis hamilton’s first album under the pseudonym xnda, has finally been released. the explicit nature of the album has people wondering who the muse of the project could possibly be. what are we thinking ham1ltons?

view all comments

user1: shakira. i mean c’mon. they were linked together recently. it makes sense!

user2: maybe he got back with nicole?

-> user4: yeah and maybe aliens are real 🙄

user87: it’s about me. stay mad y’all 😍😝

user7: it’s about nico.

-> user6: IJBOL 😭

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liked by yourusername, user272 and 1,837,738 others.

lewishamilton: thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes! really appreciated! i had a great day celebrating with family and friends. here’s to the big 4-0!

view all comments

user2: not even talking about your album that just hit number one on the billboard charts ur so sick!!

user6: he’s so fine i’m frothing at the mouth.

user8: favourite song off the album??

-> lewishamilton: what album? 🤔😉

user7: WHO IS UR MUSE MR HAMILTON??! 🤨

-> lewishamilton: it’s sir 😉

-> user7: WHO IS UR MUSE SIR HAMILTON??! 🤨

-> user8: he’s silent when it comes to the REAL questions….

user13: him and those damn winky emojis….

yourusername: thanks for letting me celebrate with you! it was an amazing night 🫶🏽

*liked by lewishamilton*

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liked by ynswifey, yourbffsuser and 1,982,627 others.

yourusername: drunk all summer! 💕

view all comments

ynswifey: the best vegan ice cream advert ever.

*liked by yourusername.*

user2: her eating vegan ice cream…. in a car that looks suspiciously like lewis’s…. using a lyric from one of his songs in her caption….. is this thee muse?

-> hater1: nah. she’s just clout chasing as usual.

-> ynfan1: not u saying THEE y/n l/n, who has the most grammy wins of all time, forever changed the way music was released and was cosigned by the greats such as prince, stevie wonder and tina turner… is clout chasing 😭

-> user6: like i’m just a casual fan and i know that statement was outrageous 😭

lewishamilton: told you edoardo’s was great.

-> yourusername: shouldn’t have doubted you 🫶🏽.

-> user7: the way this would be thee power couple…

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liked by yourusername, lewiswifey and 2,373,929 others.

lewishamilton: my forever muse <3

view all comments

yourusername: love you forever 🫶🏽

-> lewishamilton: love you more 💕

landonorris: MY SWEET VIRGIN EYES!

-> user6: virgin yes. sweet?? idk abt that…

user8: user maxies on twitter must be overjoyed.

-> maxies: YALL SILENCED ME… BUT I PREVAILED ‼️

user5: vegan icons !!

user9: not him stealing my wife….

-> user12: not her stealing my husband…

-> user10: i’m having a ball in this bitch. we throuplin! 😍

lewishamiltonupdates: omg did we just become stepsiblings? y/nupdates

-> y/nupdates: i guess so! hi sis 😍🫶🏽

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taglist: @23victoria @luckyladycreator2 @mxdi0 @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @casperlikej @nichmeddar @evie-119 @ironmaiden1313 @d3kstar @ravisinghs-wife @demvnsriot @ajvaix @raevyng @iloveyou3000morgan @namgification @formulaal (don’t see yourself or wanna be removed? send me an ask!)

[fandomxo00]

Ok but imagine:

Hugh is away for press and calling home to you and your son - fluff fluff fluffy

You were lying in bed with your son, Kai, Hugh's 'Put me in coach' shirt Jim Carrey t-shirt that smelled faintly like his cologne. Kai was curled up into your side as you rested a bowl of chips on your swollen stomach. Your son was laughing at the TV as you watched your husband's latest interview. You could blame the constant interview watching on your son, but it was for you too. You missed when he wasn't home, usually you would travel with him, but you were too far long in your pregnancy. Though you did enjoy yourself, as he appeared on 'First we feast' eating hot chicken wings when he comedically tried stuffing the bowl of ice cream into his mouth and the four-year-old that it was the funniest thing to ever happen. You couldn't hold by your chuckles as you snapped a picture of his frozen face, his veins poking out and his mouth wide open, mid bowl choking.

"Dad's so funny!" Your son giggled, his eyes glimmer up at the screen, you knew how much Kai adored his dad.

You also knew Hugh's love for his family. When you first met him, the subject of his own children came up. The way Hugh spoke about them made you want to have your own children. He adored both of his kids and just the though to how good of dad he must be didn't leave your mind. He wanted to make sure you comfortable with the idea of meeting them one day. You were in early 30's but you had to admit back then the idea of meeting his kids was scary. But not something you were opposed to.

When you did meet them, he reminded you to just be yourself. The two of you had grown close in such a short amount of time. But Hugh seemed to learn everything about you, constantly soaking up information like a sponge. Doing everything, he can make sure you were comfortable and always making the air seem light. Though you were still incredibly nervous, but they didn't seem to hate you. You'd try sharing with them about things you have in common. You felt the grounding touch of Hugh's firm hand on your thigh, and the night seemed to become a whole lot easier with just his touch.

You were 7 months along and just loved how large Hugh's children were. Kai definitely caused some tearing on the way out and you were nervous it was going to happen again. Especially because you were having another boy. But you were torn out of your nightmarish thoughts of birthing a giant baby as your phone started to ring. You smiled at the familiar ring tone of 'The Other Side' plays for Hugh's number. You immediately put him on speaker phone and Kai already knew his ring tone so he sat up straight.

"Hi love." Hugh greeted.

"Hi daddy!" Kai yelped, your son took after his dad in the endless amount of energy and silliness. "Oh my gosh, you are so funny?"

"Yeah?" He chuckled on the other end, the sound making butterflies swarm in your stomach. "Whatta I do?"

"You shovin a whole ice cream bowl in your mouth!"

"You and mum watching my interviews?"

"We might be." You hummed.

"There's that voice, how is my girl and other boy?"

"We're good, my feet are so swollen."

"Wish I was there, baby." The sound of Hugh's voice was emotional, you knew how hard this was for him. He had his fun and it was hard to spend time with Ryan. But he missed you, Kai and your life together so badly. He'll be ready for a break in the fall time.

"Can make it up to me by singing to me to bed tonight."

"I'm sure that can be arranged."

"Daddy, you won't believe what happened at school!"

"What baby?"

"Well, well, today we were playing tag and I finally got Roger!"

"Really now?" Hugh's voice showed intrigue, a light feeling coming your heart. "Did ya do what we talked about?"

"Yeah, I hid behind the slide!"

"Good job, kiddo, proud of you. You being good to your mumma?"

"Hugh." You blushed.

"Yup! Lots of cuddles."

"Raising quite the gentleman, I am raising, huh love?" Hugh joked, as you shook your head with a playful smile on your face.

"Do I need to make your ego bigger?"

"Please, darling."

"I miss you."

"I miss you too baby."

note: i am soooo bad at sticking to plans guys i'm so sorry, probably the things i said i was gonna do probably wont happen but i'm trying! it's my mental illness showing what can i say! ik i said i'd probably not write for hugh but hehe, inspo struck! hopefully this okay this my first time writing for hugh

tag: @ohtobemare @jessjessmarvelandhp @chronicallybubbly

[sweetimpurity]

Sometimes I have ideas for fics but not enough will-power to write the whole thing out all the way. This is one condensed haha ⬇️

not proofread 🥴

You're out to dinner with your bf Miguel. It's been such a nice night and you've been together so long. You think tonight is the night. He's gonna propose. His job as Spiderman does take him away from you a lot of the time. You tend to spend a lot of time missing him. Wishing he'd make more time for you. Make you his priority. That's the only doubt you'd have when it comes to spending your life with the man but other than that, you know you want it.

He took you for a walk on the beach, then to your favorite restaurant to end the night. You've just ordered your food when his comm watch get's a notification. A red alert emergency. Green Goblin in downtown Manhattan tearing up half a city block and blowing things up. Scaring civilians, injuring many.

"Babe... I'm so sorry... I think I have to go." He says, a growing sense of dread washing over him. And then he looks up to see that look of disappointment in your eyes. The heartbreak.

"You... are you sure, really?" Your voice breaks his heart. He sighs, looking down at the alerts coming in from Lyla. One after the other.

"I'm so sorry... I promise I'll be back as soon as I can..." He says, getting up from the table and kneeling in front of you, taking your hands into his. It breaks your heart even more watching him do that. Seeing him kneel. Except he's not proposing, he's leaving.

"You'll be my number one babe... when I get back I promise..." He says. But the words just make you feel so empty. "I promise... I love you. Wait up for me." He says, letting your hands go and stepping back. Sending an alert to Lyla that he's on the case and he's coming. "I love you babe..." He says again, stepping back and watching you. Wanting to hear you say it back. But you don't. You just watch him go. Heartbroken. Feeling so small, so unimportant. Unwanted.

He eventually has to just let it go and turn to leave. Passing by some people in the restaurant and leaving the restaurant. Trying his best to just keep going. To get this done and then he can be with you. But this has become a pattern as of late.

He gets outside the restaurant, getting to an alleyway and scaling the building, climbing to the top and pressing on the pod to make his suit expand and cover his body. Nanotech glowing up to his jawline and eventually closing over his face in fire red and dark blue.

He swings off to tend to the issue. To stop whatever's going on. Save the city. Again.

You wait for him for an hour. Sitting there like an idiot. Like a fool. Before deciding you deserve better than this. You ask the waiter to pack up the food and pay the bill. Three years you've been with this man. And this sort of thing just happens?

You grab your stuff, getting up to leave. Figuring you'll just go home and eat that ice cream in the freezer. Maybe call your mom or your best friend and get some reassurance or cry. Passing by people leaving the restaurant, you leave the building, walking down the sidewalk a few yards before-

"Baby!" He calls. The familiar sounds of a portal opening accompanying his voice. You look over and there's Miguel walking up to you from the alleyway next to the restaurant. Oh. You think. Here he is? "Hey-"

"You have to come with me. Right now baby. The anomaly, it's worse than we thought. We have to go, this dimension is gonna go!" He explains frantically, his voice slightly muffled by the mask you recognize so well on his face. He comes over, instantly taking both of your hands in his. The cool feeling of his suit on your warm skin. Really? You have to leave now? He said this sort of thing could happen at some point. But the chance was rare because he's always do everything he could before letting the dimension collapse. He's been gone for an hour and now the dimension is suddenly collapsing?

But if he says so, then you'd trust him. "Come on baby. We'll be safe you just have to come with me." He starts walking backwards towards the portal, holding onto your hands. It's not your first time going through a portal with him. It's a weird sort of tingly feeling.

"Okay okay" You nod, shocked by this sudden turn of events; walking with him and looking back on the world you know. The dimension you've lived in all your life. The place you've both shared a life in too. But if he'll be with you then everything should be fine.

He leads you through the portal, his big hand on the small of your back as he helps you through to the other side. The portal closing with a flash of glitching light. The alleyway falls silent. Not a sound.

An hour passes. The restaurant closes, everyone goes home. Your boyfriend swings back to the restaurant. Feeling like such a dick for leaving you like that. Leaving you when he too knew that this was supposed to be a special night. He gets to the restaurant. Finding it closed. "Damn it." He sighs. Pacing back and forth. "Lyla, is y/n back at the apartment?" He says. Walking down the sidewalk a bit.

"I can't track her phone right now. She either lost signal or turned the tracker off herself." She says.

"Damn it." He huffs again. Sighing and staring out at the street. His brow furrowing at what's before him. It's the car. His car. The one you both took to the restaurant tonight. Why is it still here if you're not?

"Lyla. What was her last recorded location?" He asks, staring at the car parked on the street. His mind flooded with possibilities. "Right here. Literally right where you're standing." She says, looking over the data.

He looks around. This doesn't make sense. "Track her again." He says.

"I can't-"

"Try again! Try something else! Street cameras! Surveillance footage! Something!" He yells in frustration and anger. Scowling and look around. Lyla sighs, pulling up the footage from the cameras on this street after hacking into their systems. Scrubbing through the footage.

"Let me see." He demands, looking at the holographic screen as Lyla displays it. There you are, leaving the restaurant. He winces, watching you leaving the place in defeat. Knowing this is his fault. But then he watches you stop, looking down the alleyway next to the restaurant. A flash of glitching light and then it looks like you're talking to someone.

You're definitely talking to someone. He check the time on the footage. It was about an hour ago. An hour ago you started talking to someone in the alley and then-

"What is she doing?" He mumbles, eyes widening when he sees you join hands with someone. The person that's taking up all your attention. "Zoom in Lyla." He demands.

The footage isn't super clear, it never is on these cheap street cameras. But he can see it. When the figure turns around, leading you down the alleyway. It's him. Himself? He can see the red and blue marking of his own suit. He's watching a video of himself leading you down an alleyway into what he can only assume is a portal. A portal to lord knows where. With a version of himself that's pretending to be the one you' know.

[housecow]

i have a lot of cute ideas

my feeder travels a lot—he’s lucky enough to have a job that can take him all over the world. his cow, however, cannot really follow.

i outgrew a regular plane seat sometime after 300lbs. we discovered that after a particularly fruitful trip to spain; although eating our way through each city racked up a lot of steps, the funnel sessions and late night snacking really did me in. neither of us were really surprised that my hips just didn’t quite fit. rather, i could tell it was all he could think about the entire way back. his hand on my soft thigh, slightly clenched and almost possessive… the way his eyes flickered to mine and there was this look.

our trips together became rarer but neither of us minded. as i’d grown, a lot of what we used to do together faded. i couldn’t keep up on the hikes, biking was out of the question, and even the long walks we enjoyed wound up split by breaks so i could catch my breath.

throughout it all, however, my feeder just grew more enthusiastic. he’d tell me he was so proud after we made it back to the hotel each night. his hands would massage my softened shoulders, he’d hold the shake to my lips, and he’d coo into my ear, “it’s okay, i won’t make you do this again,” “there’s a buffet tomorrow morning,” or, “you can really feel how fat we’ve made you now, right?”

i’d melt with whatever he said and he’d fill me up, every way i needed. funnels and shakes, expansive platters of pastries… him inside me, i’m so full and he’s telling me how good i’m doing for him, my belly touching the bed while he’s breeding me…

neither of us minded when we had to do things separately. he’d be off on a trip, sending me photos of the views and the food (“wish i could be feeding you these!”), and i’d return the gesture. belly pics, selfies of my fatass planted on the couch working on the last bit of the gallon of ice cream that was supposed to last the week, meal ideas and articles and excitement about all he’s getting to experience.

the best part, however, is when he’d get back. over the longer trips i’d have settled in a bit too much. nothing was overly dirty, of course, but the fridge was overstocked with takeout. i’d finished almost everything and move on to whatever was next, absentmindedly leaving behind remnants of everything i’d made my way through. the trash would be full of boxes and candy wrappers, vegetable skins and soda cans, too. and he'd be able to see what it all did to me.

i was bigger every time he came back. it wasn’t too obvious, maybe just a pound or two, but it was enough to excite him. he’d admire the way i had to focus and gather momentum to heave myself out of the car, how my belly hang hit my thighs just enough to make a sound when i tried to move quickly, and how he could always count on me to gorge myself while i missed him.

he never made a comment though. but every time before he left the pantry would be replenished—zebra cakes, brownies, chips, pasta, sauce, boxed mac n cheese, everything he could think of would be left there for me.

he once said, “i won’t let a moment pass where you can’t reach for something to eat,” and it was true. a candy bowl mysteriously appeared on the coffee table one day, each time i reached the bottom it’d be refilled. the mini fridge side table was “cute and functional,” he reasoned, as he showed me where the sodas and premade shakes were going. i’d thank him, a soft kiss and several grateful expressions, before admitting that i was relieved at having one less trip to the kitchen now when i was settled in.

and he’d just smile. enabling a cow like me is easy, he just has to set the food out. i know what to do.

[eideticmemory]

DARLING & DANDELION | SPENCER REID

Spencer is a lot of things to you. Your baby daddy, your lover, your best friend, and a massive pain in your ass.

Word Count: 6k.

Warning/Includes: Dad!Spencer, smut, angst, hurt/comfort.

You haven’t even caught your breath yet and you go, “We can’t do this anymore.”

And Spencer’s, whose chest is still heaving up and down, goes, “Wh…what?”

“We can’t do this anymore,” you wipe sweat from your forehead. “It’s tacky.”

Spencer props himself up his elbow and turns his body to face you, “Tacky? What do you mean?”

“Don’t do that. You know what I mean.”

“It’s…I mean…we…it’s healthy.”

“Tuh!” you laugh. “That’s your professional opinion, doctor?”

“Yes. Yes, sex is good for the body and the mind.”

“What if…” you prop yourself up on your elbows, “It’s with your ex, who you can never work it out with, who you have a kid with, on an occasional and convenient basis?”

“From personal experience, it’s the best sex you can ever have,” he finishes his sentence with a devilish smile and you roll your eyes, poke your tongue out at him.

You shake your head, “I have to go. You have to go,” you get out of bed.

Spencer’s eyes scan over your naked body and he asks, “Why? Where are you going?”

“Gotta pick up Dandelion from my mom’s,” you tell him as you button your jeans.

“Can I come?”

“What? No.”

“Why not? I haven’t seen Dandy in a week.”

“It’s not about you seeing Dandy. It’s about my mom seeing you.”

“What? She loves me.”

“Duh, more than she loves me, but you know how she likes to pry. She’s gonna think we’re back together.”

“Ah! No, not that we’re back together,” he mocks. “You say that like it’s a bad thing, darling.”

“Well, it’s not a good thing. Put some clothes on.”

“Take your clothes off.”

“Oh, you wish.”

“Can I come?”

“You came about five minutes ago, mister. It’s time for you to go.”

He fakes a laugh, “You’re so clever. Can I come?”

“Are you going to keep asking?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh,” you roll your eyes. “Fine, just, put some fucking clothes on.”

“You’re so easy to wear down,” he giggles, and he hops up, gets himself dressed. You go to leave the room and he calls out to you, “Hey.”

He steps in front of you, takes a good look, and runs his hand over your hair, “I think it would be a good thing…”

You feel this lump in your throat, jammed in the center of your voice box, blocking any air, any words. You tear your eyes away from him and clear your throat, “God, I hate your haircut.”

He chuckles to himself as you maneuver around him and he follows you out to your car.

You ring your mom’s doorbell and say, “Need you to act normal, please.”

“Oh, so, not like we just came from having sex?”

“Exactly.”

You feel him squeeze your ass and you jump, swat at his arm, “Hey!”

“I’m just getting it all out now.”

And as you roll your eyes, the door opens and your mom greets you with nothing but an, “Oh!”

“Hey, mom,” you wave as you step inside.

“Hey, mom,” Spencer mimics and gives her a big hug.

“Well, this is a surprise, huh?”

“Wrapped up with a case early, darling said I could tag along.”

You round the corner into the living room and see Dandelion sitting in front of the TV, legs crisscrossed underneath her. You lean against the wall and just watch her for a moment. You scan over her features, your eyes landing on the tip of her nose that pokes out just like her dad’s. You clear your throat and she does a double take when she sees you.

“Mommy!” she shouts, and she hops up at lightning speed, rushing towards you as fast as her little feet will carry her.

You drop to your knees and let her crash into you, engulf her in your arms, hold her really tight. You pepper her face with kisses, saying, “Hi, baby, hi, baby!”

“Did you have a good day at work?” she asks you.

“Yes, baby. How was your day with Mimi?”

“We got ice cream.”

“No way!”

“Yes!”

“What kind of ice cream?”

“Chocolate,” she giggles.

“Ooh, that’s your favorite. Did you eat all of it?”

“Yes.”

“Every single bite?”

“Yes!”

“Where did it all go, huh?” You start to tickle her tummy and she falls over in laughter. “Here? Here?”

Her giggles are so loud and contagious that you smile so wide, it hurts your face. “Guess what? I have a surprise for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes, you,” you tickle her face. “Look,” you stand her up. “Look who’s here.”

On queue, Spencer pops his head around the corner and Dandelion’s eyes light up. She jumps up and down, screaming, “Daddy!”

“Dandy!” Spencer exclaims, and he scoops her up in his arms.

You stand up as he walks her into the living room, pecking soft kisses all over her face, twirling her around, “Oh, I missed you. I missed you so much.”

You watch the two of them, Spencer sat on the couch with Dandelion in his lap, his arms around her protectively. And as you settle into the peace of it all, something - someone - pinches you very hard and they won’t let go.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,” you wince, as your mom drags you into the kitchen.

“What the hell is Spencer doing here?” she whispers.

She stands in front of you with her arms crossed and you suddenly feel like a little girl. You cut your eyes over to Spencer and Dandy very briefly and stutter, “He…told you. They finished the case early and he asked if he could come see Dandy.”

“Mmhmm…” she nods.

“Mom, please,” you groan.

“Don’t mom, please me. What is going on?”

“Nothing is going on. I…we…he wanted to come see Dandy, so I let him come see Dandy. Coparenting 101, I don’t understand why you’re so suspicious.”

“What…what is this…” she reaches in and pulls down the collar of your shirt to reveal your neck. “Is…is that a hickey? Oh, [y/n], c’mon. What are you? 15?”

“No, no, I…burnt myself with a flat iron.”

She sighs, “I hope you know what you’re doing here, kid.”

“I’m not doing anything. Nothing is happening. I…”

“Shush,” she tells you and you turn around as Spencer enters the kitchen.

“Darling?” he calls.

“Hm?” you reply.

“Could I, uh, could Dandy come home with me? I’ll be off tomorrow and I can watch her while you’re at work and you could pick her up after?”

You and your mom exchange a glance and you cross your arms defensively, “Sure,” you nod at him. “Sure, if Dandy’s okay with that.”

“Thank you!” he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and your mom raises her eyebrows at you.

Spencer runs back into the living room, chanting, “Daddy and Dandy day! Daddy and Dandy day! Daddy and Dandy day!” and Dandelion bursts into laughter, repeating him, going, “Daddy and Dandy day! Daddy and Dandy day!”

“Does he know nothing is happening?” your mom asks you.

“Spencer’s a smart boy, mom. Don’t worry about him.”

“And yet,” she sucks her teeth. “He’s a complete dumbass when it comes to you.”

Spencer asks if you can drive them to the park. There, JJ meets you with Henry. Dandy and him are close in age. In fact, Spencer had just returned from seeing Henry in the hospital when you told him you were pregnant. It was not your best timing, considering his familial trauma and all, but it had to be done. This puts Henry at 4 and Dandy running in close second at 6 months behind. JJ takes a seat next to you on the bench, watching Spencer run around with the kids. There are the casual aspects of conversation. The how are yous and how’s work and anecdotes about the kids and then she asks, “So, what’s going on between you two?”

“Ugh,” you groan. “Is there a sign on my face today or something?”

“Sore subject?” she grins.

“No. Nothing sore about it. Nothing’s going on…” you look at her from the corner of your eye, then turn your head, “Why? Why, did he say something to you?”

“No.”

A beat passes.

“You seem disappointed by that,” she adds.

“Oh, no. Don’t do that. Do not profile me. You know I hate it when you guys do that.”

She laughs, “Well, I lied. He talks about you all the time.”

You bite down on your lip and look away.

A beat passes.

JJ says, “You seem pleased by that.”

You drive Spencer and Dandelion to his apartment and she runs in like she owns the place.

“Okay, so,” you hold out her backpack for him. “She’s got a change of clothes in here, some hair clips, some ties, oh, uh, how much of her body wash and shampoo do you have left? Because I don’t think I put any in here…”

When you look up and he’s giving you a blank stare, you go, “What?”

“You’re not gonna come in?”

“It’ll just confuse her.”

Spencer wants to argue. He wants to sweet talk you and coax you inside, but coparenting 101, “No, yeah, you’re right.”

He watches you kiss Dandelion goodbye and when she runs back inside, he says, “Call you at bedtime?”

“Yes. Please.”

He has that look in his eye like he wants to kiss you, you know it well. So you leave before he can get a chance.

When you’re laying in bed that night, Spencer calls you on FaceTime and he sets you up on the nightstand so you can see them both. Dandelion laying in bed and Spencer kneeling beside her.

“Hi, mommy!” They say in unison.

“Hi,” you giggle.

“We were just about to pick Dandy’s story for the night,” Spencer tells you. “Dandy?”

She tilts her head.

“What story do you want tonight, baby?”

“Ummm…” she hums, giggling, “The story about my name.”

“Ohhh, that’s a good story,” Spencer grins.

“That is a good story,” you smile.

Spencer holds Dandelion’s hands in his and starts, in this sweet, soft voice, “Once upon a time…there was a mommy and a daddy. And they loved each other sooo much that they were gonna have a…”

“Baby!” she finishes for him and he chuckles.

“That’s right, they were gonna have a baby! And the mommy and daddy were sooo excited about their baby, they just couldn’t wait. But when the time came for the baby to come…”

“She didn’t wanna come out!” Dandy laughs.

“No, no, no, the baby didn’t wanna come out. She wanted to stay warm and cozy in the mommy’s belly. So, the mommy and daddy tried everything to get their baby to come out, but nothing worked! Until one day, they went for a walk at the park. And the mommy was so big that she walked like this…” Spencer mimics your trademark waddle and the two of you laugh at him, you rolling your eyes at the screen. “And they walked and walked and walked and nothing was working. Until, this big, big gust of wind came by…”

He flails his arms, going, “Whoooooosh!” and Dandelion mimics him.

“It was so big, it almost knocked the mommy and daddy over. And when the wind stopped, this tiny, small dandelion floated out of the sky and landed right on the mommy’s belly…and then…”

“Pop!” they say in sync.

“The baby was ready to come out! So the daddy took the mommy to the hospital and out came the most beautiful baby the world has ever, ever seen. The mommy and daddy were so happy and they loved her so much. But they still had to pick a name for her. So after they thought and thought and thought, they named her…”

“Diana Dandelion Reid,” she smiles.

“That’s right,” Spencer nods. “But we just call you Dandy.”

Dandelion smiles as Spencer places a kiss on her nose. “Goodnight, baby. Say good night to mommy,” he grabs his phone and holds it up to her.

“Goodnight, mommy,” she tells you and your heart just melts.

“Goodnight, baby,” you whisper. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She nods and rolls over as Spencer turns out the lamp, leaving her to sleep. Once he’s out of the room, he closes the door and gives you a soft smile.

“Thanks for joining us, darling.”

You smile, nod, “It’s a good story.”

“The best.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it.”

While you’re at work the next day, Spencer sends you a picture of the two of them out on the lake.

S: Pedal boats today!

You giggle to yourself.

Y: Omg so fun!! I thought you were afraid of open water?

S: I was terrified but she begged and begged and begged! What was I supposed to do???

Y: 😂😂😂

You pick up Dandelion after work and she is distraught.

“I don’t want daddy to go!” she cries and you see Spencer’s heart break. You can hear it.

“He’ll be back, baby, he always come back,” you whisper, rubbing her back.

“No-oo-oo!” she cries and reaches up for Spencer who scoops her into his arms before she can ball her hands into a fist.

“Hey, hey, hey, Dandy, look at me,” he cooes. He wipes the tears from her eyes, “You and mommy are going to call me everyday, huh? And you’ll tell me all about your fun day with Mimi and we’ll do your story before bed and I promise you, I will be back before you know it. Okay?”

She sniffles, gives him a sad nod.

“Okay, give me a hug,” he says and they squeeze each other real tight. “You, too, mommy,” he holds his other arm open for you and you hesitate, but only for a moment, and then you step in and wrap your arms around both of them.

“Mmm,” he hums happily, gives you both a kiss on the cheek, “My girls. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Dandelion lets Spencer hand her over to you and he waves until you guys are out of the door and all the way down the stairs. Then he exhales all the air in his chest and he cries. But only for a little bit.

He’s gone for a little over two weeks. The day he comes back, he doesn’t really give you any notice, he just texts: Back in town. What are you up to?

And you, still at work, reply: Nothin. Workin.

S: Lunch?

You meet him at a restaurant down the street and when you walk in, he gets so excited that he stands up to wave and knocks all the silverware off the table. Your hand flies to your mouth as it all falls to the floor in a loud sequence of clangs and booms and you watch him scramble to pick it all up. People are staring and as you make the decision to walk over to him, it’s like you’re saying to everyone: yep, he’s mine!

“Hi, darling,” he huffs, his face bright red.

“Hi,” you laugh.

He takes you in a warm embrace and you hold the back of his head in your hand.

“Oh, I missed you,” he says.

“We missed you, too.”

He’s not supposed to, but like he always has, he tells you all about the case they were working on. Full of twists and turns and gorey details that make you sick to your stomach but, somehow, you can still eat. He asks about Dandy and that leads you into the dreaded preschool conversation and you both shut it down instantly.

“How did she get so big?” he asks.

“We just…kept feeding her,” you laugh and he chuckles, shaking his head.

“Time needs to slow down. Seriously. It’s happening too fast.”

“I know. I know, I know, but we’ve got so much more to look forward to, y’know? First day of school and science fairs and graduations…”

“Ah-ah! No, no, none of that. She’s gonna be little forever.”

“You’re in denial, doctor.”

“Well, duh.”

“Here’s the check, you guys,” the waiter interrupts. “No rush, though. Take your time.”

“Thanks,” you say in unison.

“He only brought one check?” you question.

Spencer raises his eyebrows at you.

“And he gave it to you? How caveman of him.”

“Now, now, darling, stand down. Let me pay for your food.”

“I mean, of course I’m going to let you pay for it. I just don’t like the assumption.”

“What assumption?” he smirks.

“I…you really like driving me insane, don’t you?”

He cackles and nods, “Yeah, actually. Kinda my job.”

You laugh and lean into him a bit. The booth you two are in has you sandwiched shoulder to shoulder, and sure, there is plenty of room for there to be distance between you two, but you don’t want there to be. You look at his neck and reach in. As your fingertip touches his skin, you can feel his pulse kick up. You pull the chain from underneath his shirt and let the dandelion pendant fall to his chest.

“Where’s yours?” he asks and his fingertips trail over your collarbone, grabbing onto your matching necklace.

You release his chain, but he won’t let go off yours and he’s giving you that look and you just shake your head, “I should really get back to work.”

When you get to his place, the two of you burst through the door, bodies mangled and tangled together, lips mushed into each other’s faces. Spencer’s got his arms wrapped tight around your waist and your hands have gotten lost in his hair. As he pushes you backwards, you trip over a barbie doll and nearly fall over but he catches you.

“You okay?” he mumbles.

“Mhm,” you nod, and you whip your bodies around, push him onto the couch. He lands with a deep, “oof!” and watches you crawl into his lap. His eyelids drop, feeling the warmth of your hand on his face and your lips on his neck. He grips onto your waist, bunches your dress up in his hands and you work to unbutton his shirt.

You breathe into each other’s mouths, out of breath and grinding against one another on a constant, rhythmic loop.

“Mm,” you moan as he licks down your neck. “Do you have a condom?”

“Mm,” he ponders, “Condom, condom, condom…yes!” And he throws you off of him, leaving you laying on your back while he runs into his room. You slide your panties off and he returns with the packet in hand and falls right on top of you.

His body perched between your legs, you undo his pants and take his jaw in your hands, put your tongue in his mouth. He puts the condom on and holds onto the couch as he pushes all the way into you. You both gasp and Spencer crashes on top of you, catching you in a messy kiss. You pull your legs back for him and he starts pounding into you with this rhythm that you love and he knows that you love. He peppers soft kisses all over your face and grunts into your ear, grips onto your jaw so he can look you in the eye. He thrusts into you so quickly and with so much force that the couch is rattling around on the floor and your head is getting knocked off the edge of the couch. But he’s got you.

Your moans bounce off the walls and your mouth is wide open as you scream, “Fuck!”

As Spencer leans into kiss you, the both of you lose your balance and go sliding off the couch.

“Oh, shit!” you gasp, and try to hold on, but it’s too late and you guys fall on the floor, Spencer groaning as he breaks your fall.

“Oh, my god,” you whisper, leaning down to comfort him. “Oh, my god, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, just…just do that thing with your hips that I like,” he huffs.

You readjust, “This?” you pant as you start to grind your hips on his cock.

“Oh, yeah,” he moans, his eyes falling shut and his head rolling back. “Yeah, that’s it.”

You lean back, resting your hands on his knees and bounce on him, your mouth falling open. He paws at your breasts and pulls at the fabric of your dress. He knows you’re about to come because he knows you, and he knows your body and he can feel you tightening around him, your hips increasing in speed. Your voice starts to get real whiny and you pound your palms into his chest.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimper and all he can do is watch, and hold himself back until you get there.

He takes your nipple into his mouth and you tangle your fingers in his hair and grind yourself against him until your whole body tenses up and trembles. You come with his face in your chest and your eyes rolling so far back in your head that you go blind. It only takes a few more motions of your hips for him to follow behind you and he holds onto you for dear life, muffling his groans against your skin.

You both fall onto the floor, still holding each other, trying to catch your breath. Spencer grips onto your hair and kisses you passionately, repeatedly, and casually says, “Love you.”

You can’t stop the visceral reaction you have. You just sit up and stare at him, your eyes big and wide. “I…” you stutter, give him a friendly pat on the face, “Love you…I have to go.”

He watches, dazed and confused, as you hop off of him and fix your dress, “You’re making me feel cheap here, darling.”

You laugh, awkwardly, “No, no, I just, I’m so late for work. I have to get back,” you trip over your panties as you pull them up your legs and swear, “Shit!”

Spencer fixes his pants and stands up, striding over to you, “I freaked you out…”

“What? No. You didn’t freak me out.”

“Because, I can say I don’t love you if it’ll fix it.”

“I’m not freaked out.”

“I don’t love you, I…hate you actually.”

“I’m just late for work,” you try to slide out the door but he reaches out for you.

“Wait, wait,” he calls. “I thought I could maybe see Dandy today?”

“Uh, yeah, she’s at my mom’s just, go whenever,” you shrug. “I have to go. Bye.”

“Darling?” he calls, but you close the door on him.

Your body shivers and you march down the hallway, down the stairs and back on your way to work. When your shift ends, you head over to your mom’s and she opens the door with a bright smile, “Hello, my love!”

“Hi,” you groan as you step inside.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just, rough day. Need to see my Dandy…” you round the corner and see Spencer playing with her in the living room, so you push yourself back, your mom along with you.

“What the hell is he doing here?” you whisper.

“He’s been here for a few hours. He said he told you?”

“He…I mean…yeah, he did. Why is he still here?”

“I don’t know, [y/n], maybe to be an active, caring father? Crucify the boy, why don’t you?”

Your heart is pounding out of your chest and you tug on your hair with a rush of anxiety.

“[y/n]…” your mom says. “What is going on?”

You sigh and lean against the wall, “I don’t know what I’m doing…you were right, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

And she steps in, grabs your shoulders, takes a deep breath. You follow her. In and out, in and out.

“Well, then,” she nods. “You better figure it the fuck out, baby.”

“I know. I know, I know.”

“Mommy?” Your heads turn to the sound of the tiny voice and Dandelion looks up at you with wide, innocent eyes and every bit of tightness in your chest just dissipates.

“Hi, honey,” you coo and you instantly lean down to pick her up. “Oh, hi, you. Hi, my baby.”

Spencer follows her out there and waves, casually, “Hi, mommy.”

“Hi,” you nod to him.

“Me and daddy made a castle,” Dandelion tells you. “Come look!”

“Oh, yes, show me, show me!”

You follow her into the living room, leaving Spencer with your mom. She purses her lips at him and then promptly walks by him, giving his shoulder a harsh slap.

“Ow!” he exclaims. “What did I do?”

Spencer takes Dandelion home for the night. It’s a Friday so he plans to have her all weekend and most of next week which is fine with you. It’ll give you time to rest and reflect and figure it the fuck out. Spencer takes the hint. For once, he takes the hint and he only texts you sporadic updates.

So, when he calls you on Monday at four in the morning, you think he wants to have a talk. One of those conversations that you guys can never seem to have in the light of day.

“Hello?” you grumble.

“Hey,” he says. “Sorry I woke you up. Can you, um, can you come over?”

You sit up, “Why? Is Dandy okay?”

“Oh, yeah, she’s fine. She’s asleep. I, uh…there’s a case…”

You sigh. “Of course.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” You’re already up to get dressed.

“Darling…”

“I’ll be there in ten,” and you hang up.

He sees your car pull in from the street and he has the door open for you when you get upstairs. He has his go-bag packed and he looks apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you. “I’ll make it up to you. Both of you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you wave him off. “I’ve got it. You can go.”

“Darling, you know I can’t…I…I didn’t ask to be called in.”

“No, well, duh. This is just one of those things, right?” you shrug. “One of those things I could never stand and I still can’t stand. I’m used to it. It’s fine. I’ll explain to Dandy.”

“This isn’t about the case…”

“Can you…please?”

“This is about the other day. When we…when I…”

“I’m not upset. Don’t project on me. I’m fine.”

“Oh, okay, that was convincing.”

“Why do you always have to do this?” you snap, keeping your voice down. “Without fail. You always do this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you always have to ruin a good thing? You always, always just have to suck the fun out of everything.”

He scoffs, goes to speak, and pauses, “Did it ever occur to you that…that it wasn’t fun for me, [y/n]?”

Oh, he’s serious. He used your real name.

“That I didn’t enjoy being yanked around and used like some toy?”

“I…oh, come on! Is your eidetic memory broken or something? You initiated it, remember? And if you did that just in hopes of us getting back together, that’s not fair. That’s so unfair.”

“I just wanted to be close to you. And, yeah, maybe that wasn’t fair. But I just…I’m having a hard time believing that it doesn’t work. That we don’t work, hey,” he grabs your shoulders, makes you stop shaking your head and look at him, “Maybe for all the hurt we’ve caused each other and all the baggage, maybe it’s just meant to work. We are meant to work, okay? Because I love you. I am so in love with you. I don’t know how to not be in love with you, look,” he puts your hand to his chest, “Feel how fast my heart is beating? It does not every time I’m around you. I can’t help it.”

“Please, stop.”

“And you’re telling me you don’t feel the same way?” he puts his hand to your ribs and your heart is pounding against his palm. “I don’t believe you.”

It takes you a moment before you can pry his hand away. You remove your hand from his chest, hold his hands in yours, and give him this sad, sad look.

You can see his shoulders fall in defeat, this heavy breath of air coming straight from his chest. He steps away and grabs his go-bag, stands up straight, “It’s a local case so I shouldn’t be gone too long. Kiss Dandy for me?”

You nod, but you can’t look at him. You let him place a kiss on your forehead and then he leaves. You lock the door behind him.

You crawl into bed with Dandelion and you stir for most of the night.

By the time you fall asleep, she wakes up twenty minutes later.

And so, life just kinda goes on. Spencer calls to talk to Dandy just before you go into work so you tell him to call your mom and he does. That’s the last you hear from him for the next couple of days until he calls you while you’re at work.

“Hello?” you answer.

“[y/n]?”

You pause for a moment, “JJ?” and then the realization hits you and you hop up from your desk, running out of the building.

There’s some words like “bomb” and “concussion” and “pavement” but they all blur together and you yell, “Just tell me what hospital!”

You can’t even remember where you parked your car. Everything is muffled and you rush around the crowded hospital in a frenzy. You can’t hear anything. Hell, you can barely see anything. Just Derek, holding an ice pack to his head, pointing you towards a room so you go.

When you see Spencer lying there, a big bandage wrapped around the circumference of his head and a doctor tracking his vitals, you can barely bring yourself to step in the room.

The doctor glances at you, then returns to his clipboard, “Are you his wife?”

You step in, slowly, bring yourself to Spencer’s side, “I’m, uh, the closest thing he’s got to one.”

He tells you there’s some swelling around Spencer’s brain, but it’s been drained. He can’t provide you with an exact estimate of when Spencer will wake up. If he ever wakes up. And as this man is talking to you in this stern, stoic voice, you just look at Spencer. You trace the structure of his face and put your hand on his chest. The doctor leaves and you still can’t pull yourself away from him.

“You did this on purpose,” you whisper, caressing his face. “You did this on purpose to make me feel bad, didn’t you? Because…because I was awful to you…I’m so sorry,” you sob. “I’m so sorry.”

You lay your head on his chest and cry, “Just don’t die. I can’t do this by myself, you hear me? Please, don’t, die.”

Spencer wouldn’t wake up for another four whole days. You sleep in the chair beside his bed until a nice nurse brings you a cot. Dandelion stays at your mom’s house and JJ offers, repeatedly, to give you a a chance to leave. Shower, eat, see your kid. But you’re so worried that if you leave, Spencer will die. So you fall asleep every night to the sound of his heartbeat on the monitor and if it ever should stop, you would know. On day four, you pop your head up from a few hours sleep and he’s watching you. His eyes are hooded and grey, but they are open, you can tell. You hop up and rush over to him, gently setting your hands on his body.

“Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Hi! Hi! Hi, Spencer,” you sob. “Oh, my god.”

He stares at you for a moment, then his eyes scan the room. He looks back at you, “Who…” his voice breaks, “Are you?”

Your eyes go wide and you let out this defeated sound. You don’t even know where to begin. You don’t know how to respond or what to do or how to feel. You think you’re gonna crumble to your knees. And then he smiles.

“I’m just messing with you, darling.”

“Ugh!” you shout and you start slamming your palms into his chest. “That’s not funny!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” he laughs. “Okay, okay, okay, I’m injured here!”

You take his face in your hands and give him a long kiss. You can hear his heart rate go up on the monitor.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he mumbles, as you hug him. “I’m…I’m sorry for everything.”

“No, stop that. Not important. Ridiculously unimportant, okay? Don’t even think about it.”

He nods and breathes you in, “You…stink. When was the last time you showered?”

“That would be…like, the day you were blown up.”

“Ah. When was that?”

“Four days ago.”

“Holy shit.”

You giggle, “Did you just say a bad word, doctor l?”

“Fuck, cut me some slack! I slept through hump day.”

You press your nose against his and laugh and the world feels okay again.

Spencer has to stay in the hospital for another week before you can bring him home. Dandelion is back in her own bed and she just thinks Spencer has gone on a long, long trip. She’s at your mom’s when you get Spencer to his apartment and he begs to see her. Even when his head is still killing him, he begs to see her.

“Tomorrow,” you say as you tuck him into bed. “You’ve still got that scary raccoon look going on. Don’t wanna freak her out.”

“Tomorrow? You promise?”

“I promised the both of you. Tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

He curls up and notices you crawl in bed beside him, “Darling, you don’t have to sleep here.”

“Shhhh,” you whisper, run your hand through his hair, “Go to sleep.”

The next day, he is more like himself. Maybe it’s the adrenaline he gets from the prospect of seeing his daughter, maybe it’s waking up next to you in the morning, but either way, he looks like himself and he talks like himself and he can’t wait to go to the park.

Your mom meets you there with Dandelion and she trips over her feet running to Spencer. She crashes into him and nearly knocks him over, and you can tell it hurts him, but he takes it and kisses her face.

“Where were you, daddy?”

“Oh, on a long, long trip, baby. But I’m back now.”

“I missed you!”

“Oh, Dandy,” he squeezes her tight. “You have no idea.”

He plays for as long as he can. He climbs the playset and runs around playing tag and hide and seek until his breath nearly gives out. He runs over to the bench you and your mom are sat on and huffs, “Can someone else push her on the swing before I pass out?”

The two of you laugh and your mom says, “I’ll go.”

“Thanks,” Spencer takes her spot beside you and his head falls into your lap. “Phew! Tell you what, a coma seriously bends you out of shape.”

“Well, you weren’t all that much in shape before the coma.”

“Ugh,” he groans. “You sound like the fitness personnel at the academy. What does in shape even mean?”

You cackle and he puts his arm over your shoulder. The two of you watch Dandy on the swing. Up and down, up and down, higher and higher, until her laughter is echoing around the park.

“You know…” you start. “Maybe it wouldn’t be…the worst thing in the world…”

Spencer doesn’t even have to ask what you’re talking about, he just looks at you and smiles, “Really?”

You give him a sly shrug.

He looks away from you, trying to keep himself from smiling so hard that his face rips in half. “I…I’m sorry - it’s because I got blown up, isn’t it?”

“Just shut up,” you laugh.

“You can tell me the truth, I won’t be mad.”

“You know what? I take it back, you get on my nerves. Oof!” you exclaim as he suddenly takes you into a tight hug. And for the first time in a long time, you feel a calm, serene peace.

“Yeah, well,” he says, “Sorry, too late.”

[lafleshlumpeater]

Conrad Fisher x Reader (fake dating)

warnings: one swear word, fake dating, fem!reader, mutual pining, mentions of food, lmk if there's anything i've missed<3

TYSM @diqldrunk FOR INSPIRING ME TO WRITE THIS YOU'RE THE BEST<3

conrad fisher masterlist

“Remind me why I’m being your girlfriend again?” You ask, kicking the passenger compartment in front of you nervously as Conrad drove next to you.

He takes the next right, glancing at the GPS as you do. Shit. Almost there.

“I told you, remember? My mom thinks I’m lonely and depressed and she keeps trying to set me up with her friends’ daughters.”

Nibbling your lip, you frown. “And you thought I was the best person to do this because-?”

“It’s believable,” he reassures, fingers drumming against the steering wheel in repetition. Your eyes scan him up and down. Not checking him out, of course, but because you want to see if the two of you look good enough together for the story to be plausible. You can’t picture it.

“I mean, look at you,” he speaks, slightly distracted with trying to keep below the speed limit, yet still managing to effortlessly read your racing mind. “You look like the definition of someone I would date.”

You try not to smile at that, smoothing your pleated black skirt down over your thighs. You had asked if it was too formal earlier, paired with your maroon sweater and black tights, but Conrad had assured you it was fine and that ‘you look… great’, and maybe you were reading too much into it but you could have sworn you noticed his blue- green eyes (you could never really tell which) linger on your elegant neck and down at your calves through the sheerness of the fabric poorly concealing them.

You put it down to your wishful thinking, seeing things that weren’t actually happening.

The car comes to a stop, causing you to immediately snap out of your spiralling thoughts.

“We’re here.”

You instantly rummage through your crimson leather handbag for a mirror and check your immaculate reflection. Pristine eyeliner, lip stain steadfast, hair in behaving. Conrad turns to you, noticing your jittery movements.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” You cringe internally at the way you respond too quickly, and you find yourself wishing you had just stayed in your dorm all day, lounging around and eating ice cream and watching cheesy rom- coms.

“You really don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to. I can just tell my mom that you feel really ill-”

“No, honestly, I’m…” Your teeth peek out again to gnaw on your lip. “I’m- fine?” The fact that it comes out like a question causes your eye to twitch.

He steps out of the car, shutting his door and comes around to open yours. You almost scoff. Why does he have to be so gentlemanly?

Conrad’s hand tentatively reaches up to your face, delicately pulling your thumb from your incessant teeth. “Are you sure?” He persists, and his voice is so gooey and thick with something you would love to assume is tenderness. You wonder if it was a waste of time deciding on your new designer blush that you’d been saving to wear for the first time.

Your words fail you as your breath hitches in your throat, and you can do little more than nod. “What if- what if I mess it up, and she realises that, we’re not really… dating?”

Conrad tucks a tuft of hair away behind his ear, something you’d been aching to do for most of the drive. “She won’t,” he says firmly. “I trust you.” A laugh almost escapes your throat as you realise he has more trust in you than you possess in yourself, but you push the thought aside as you realise he’s staring at you intently, awaiting an answer. You nod, and his face pulls up into that gorgeous grin which frequently haunts your daydreams during the dreary college lectures. It’s infectious, and you find yourself beaming very similarly as he offers his hand to you, helping you out of the car. It’s impossible to find his courteousness overbearing, not when he squeezes your hand as if telling you it’s okay or his eyes flicker to you for a moment, but the look in them feels like he’s looking at you like you’re his everything, and you’re not sure if that makes you adore or be wary of him.

You’re still pondering this when mere seconds after Conrad knocks on the door it swings open. A woman, who you assume is aged somewhere around forty- five, stands at the doorway and from the face- splitting smile on her face you can just tell she’s the life and soul of every party. “You’re here!” She hugs her son first, and you stand somewhat awkwardly beside them when she releases your ‘boyfriend’ and observes you, but you can tell from the sparkling glint in her eyes that it’s not for the sake of criticising but out of genuine inquisitiveness.

The woman you deduce is Susannah meets your eyes. Although her face is precisely lined with age, there’s a pleasant sense of life and hope and quintessence in her gaze. She greets you by your name, and you’re not surprised- Conrad had mentioned calling his mother earlier that morning.

You reach out for a handshake and she surprises you, wrapping her arms around you- warm and motherly. You reciprocate the gesture, and guilt fills you at the lies you are to spoon feed her.

During the delicious (late) lunch of homemade food, you’re bombarded with questions. How you and Conrad met, if you shared any classes, your family, your hobbies… everything and anything. And not just by Susannah, either, but by Conrad’s brother, who you kept forgetting the name of but knew it started with ‘J’.

Susannah’s eyes switch between you and her older son. “So, are you looking for something long- term, or-?”

A dusting of pink covers the tops of Conrad’s cheeks and nose- something you don’t see enough, and you’re indecisive as to whether you love or hate that the sight turns your insides to mush. “Mom.”

You hold his hand over the table, playing your role perfectly. “It’s fine,” you say, accompanied with a tinkly laugh. “In full honesty, I’m not one hundred percent sure. But…” You turn to stare at the boy beside you, his hand growing clammy in yours- “I’m pretty sure we’re both planning on staying together. Your son is a very special person, and I care about him very much- I’m so lucky to have him.”

You want to sigh and laugh at the irony at the same time- your last sentence was the embodiment of black and white; the first part had been completely true; Conrad was special, and you wished with your whole heart he could be yours, but you definitely did not ‘have’ him.

 It wasn’t anything you didn’t know; Conrad Fisher could just simply, never be yours.

“But equally,” you carry on when Susannah nods in satisfaction. “We’re both young, and… anything could happen. Right, babe?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Conrad nodded, but when he turns to you his eyes flash with content and he offers you a genuine half- smile, both gestures saying more than words ever could, and you knew he was satisfied with your deliberately vague response.

A little while after, Conrad excuses both you and himself to rest a while in his room, because of ‘the long journey’. You obliged without needing to consult him; you knew the effort of keeping the act up was mentally draining from first- hand experience.

He shuts the door behind you both and falls back on his bed, kicking his shoes off. Standing self- consciously, you wonder if he minds you sitting on his bed, of all places, or not.

He raises an eyebrow. “You can sit, you know.”

You sit on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the thin chain around your wrist. 

“Hey, thanks for… thanks for doing this for me.”

You look up, surprised. “You don’t need to thank me. Just a friend helping out a friend,” you feign nonchalance, not meeting his gaze at your heart squeezes painfully at your own words.

“No, I’m serious,” he goes on. “I love my mom, but she’s been going on about me getting with someone for ages. You’re a life- saver.”

You look down at where he’s resting his arms behind his head next to you, the first two buttons of his black button- up undone. Your eyes fight to remain focused on his. “You’re good.”

His eyes narrow, eyelashes fringing observant irises as he sits up. The fact that he’s now closer than before doesn’t escape you. “You’re not uncomfortable by all this, right?”

“Not at all. I’ve really enjoyed meeting your mom, even under… unusual circumstances.” He smiles at that, no teeth but all dimples and your fingers twitch with wanting to trace over them. His eyes remain trained on you for a couple more seconds. You iron your hands over your skirt again, a repetitive, nervous tic.

Conrad shuffles slightly closer- your heart flirts enticingly with your thoughts, convincing your brain that the distinct smell of ocean spray and wet sand was coming from the handsome boy next to you and not through the open window.

“Hey.”

Your head tilts up to look at him- startled slightly, but not unpleasantly so when you realise you’ve miscalculated how close he actually was. Every detail on his face is visible; the unreal sharp of his jawline, the faint freckle just under his left eye you yearn to kiss…

“You’re beautiful,” he mutters under his breath- you almost miss it, it’s so sudden.

“Wha- what?” 

“You’re beautiful,” he says simply, as if it’s a well- known fact everyone knows. Your stomach flips and suddenly the white of the ceiling looks very interesting. “Hey, look at me.”

You do.

“I’m serious. You’re really pretty and I-”

“Where is all this coming from?” You interrupt.

Conrad looks bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Like, do you just feel bad because I did this for you? Or is it something-”

What Conrad does next stuns you; all of a sudden, his hand is on the side on your neck, his thumb caressing along your jaw and his lips are pressed to yours, sweet and all- consuming and slightly wet but it’s everything you’ve dreamed about and more, causing you to melt into him with your eyes closed, arms tentatively creeping around his neck.

You don’t know whether it’s been a minute or an hour, but it’s definitely been a while, judging by the telltale screaming of your lungs for oxygen.

Time is a strange thing.

Pulling away for a gasp of air, you can’t help but giggle at the faint red marks of colour on the boy’s lips. He smiles, albeit confused, sneaking an arm around your waist. “What?”

“You’ve got a little…” You reach out and gently wipe the smudge away with a manicured fingernail. He’s still staring at you intensely.

“I really like you, you know.”

Your lips quirk upwards, fixing his slightly creased collar. “Nice to know it’s not just because you think I’m pretty.”

His jaw tenses, thinking you’ve misunderstood, but he relaxes quickly when he sees the playful glimmer reflecting in your pupils. “It isn’t. You’re… amazing. Smart, funny, great sense of humour-”

“You talk too much,” you cut across him, pulling him down for another sweet kiss which you both smile into.

taglist: @kimorna

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[pholla-jm]

Flirting Gone Wrong

IMAGINE: FLIRTING GONE WRONG - SATORU X READER GENRE: FLUFF WARNINGS: NONE Nova's Notes: This is set when Satoru is in high school. ***********************

It is no secret that Gojo is a flirtatious man. He is pretty confident about it too. He knew he was handsome, there was no person that wouldn’t want to be with him. With just one flirtatious smile, that person would be wrapped around his finger. 

So he was confused as to why you weren’t falling for his usual flirtatious antics. He would give you small touches, but you would just brush them off. Every time he would send you his famous smile while looking into your eyes, you would just smile back at him. Your smile would make him falter instead. You didn’t know it, but you now had him wrapped your finger. 

All of his flirting attempts would fail and he would become a flustered mess. He really just wanted his flirting to work and make you his. 

His first attempt: 

You were studying for an upcoming exam. You needed to ace this test because if you didn’t then you would fail the class. You were so focused on the material in front of you, you didn’t notice that your best friend, Gojo Satoru, was staring at you. 

He was admiring how concentrated you look. Your eyebrows were slightly pulled together, your lips pursed into a small pout and you were twirling your pencil in between his fingers. He was just so awe-struck by your cuteness, he couldn’t help the words to come out of his mouth. 

“You’re so cute.” He mumbles. 

You were too focused on your work to even correctly hear what he said. “What did you say?” You ask, finally pulling yourself away from your work. 

Satoru’s eyes widened slightly. He didn’t mean to say those words. 

“I said you look like a boot.” 

Your lips pull into a disgusted frown, “what is that supposed to mean?” Satoru silently curses to himself. He didn’t mean to dig himself into a deeper hole. But it was the hill he was willing to die on. 

“It means you look like a boot.” “Yeah? Well you look like a q-tip. Now leave me alone.” 

You turn back to your studies, the aggravated look on your face now fading away. Instead there was a small smile on your face. Satoru noticed this and was relieved that it didn’t turn completely south. “You wound me.” He says before pulling out his phone for his own distraction. 

His second attempt: 

If anyone were to look at you two, they would assume that you two were on a date. 

But you weren’t. 

Satoru wishes that it was a date though. 

The two of you were walking around, trying to find some sweets to snack on. The two of you settled on ice cream. Well not really, you wanted ice cream so Satoru agreed, even if he didn’t want ice cream. 

You got strawberry ice cream, and Satoru could swear that you were the happiest person on the planet right now. “Gosh, you’re so cute…” He mutters. You look at him, “what did you say?” 

Of course you didn’t hear him. 

“I said that you look like a fruit.” You just gave him a strange look, “that doesn’t even make sense.” 

He knows. He doesn’t even know why he said it. He panicked and it was the first thing that came to his brain. Satoru just gives you his famous grin, “well it’s true.” You just laugh. Your laughter rings in his ears like a beautiful melody. Once your laughter dies down you smile at him and he swears that your smile was meant just for him. “Okay, I’ll indulge in this. What fruit do I look like?” “A strawberry.” He says without missing a beat. “Eh? Why a strawberry. Last I checked, my skin isn’t red.” “Mm, not yet. You eat so many strawberries, that one day you’re gonna look like one.” 

You purse your lips at him, “you look like a baobab.” 

Satoru sighs at your comment, “really? Because we’re both white? How original (y/n).” “No, because you’re both dusty.” Satoru lets out a shocked gasp at your words, “how cruel of you to say!” 

His dramatics cause you to laugh while clutching your stomach. You were laughing so hard that your cheeks were turning red. “See!” Satoru shouts, “you’re already turning into a strawberry!” He says while pinching your reddening cheeks. 

His third attempt: 

“I just don’t understand why you have to be here at this hour.” You whisper to your best friend. He was currently in your dorm room… at four in the morning. “I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep.” “So you make that my problem?” “Yup!” He says, popping the ‘p’ while slinging his arm around your shoulders. 

You look at him to see that he was looking at you with a shit eating grin. 

However, Satoru was admiring your tired form. How messy your hair looked after being rudely awakened. The slight eye bags that were caused from endless hours of studying. He could still see the sleep in your eyes and if he let you, you could fall right back to sleep. 

But what was the point when you had to get up in an hour anyway? 

“Why did you wake up so early anyway?” You ask him. “Does there have to be a reason?” 

Truth is, there was a reason. He was dreaming about you… and it got a little suggestive. He woke up and he simply couldn’t go back to sleep. So his solution was to come bother you. 

You just look up at him, “yeah. I guess you’re right.” “I was just thinking…’ He mutters but you somehow heard that. 

“Oh yeah? Thinking? I hope you didn’t hurt yourself.” Satoru slightly elbows you, “that’s not nice.” You could see the slight pout on his lips and all you can do is crack a smile. “Fine. What were you thinking about?” 

“I was just thinking… about how strange I feel about you.” He was staring off into the distance, not really noticing how he almost confessed his feelings for you. However, it went right over your head. You never really took him seriously and you just smiled about. “So you’re telling me that lil ol’ me makes the strongest sorcerer feel weird? Do you have a fever or something?” 

Satoru scoffs at your words, “as if. You couldn’t make me waver if you tried.” “Oh yeah? Wanna bet?” Before he could say another word, you had flung your pillow at his face. A gasp falls from his lips as he stumbles a little bit. He grabs another pillow, swinging it right back at you. Harder than what he meant to. The force of his hit causes you to fall back and hit the back of your head. All though, it didn’t hurt. “Ow,” while laughing and rubbing the back of your head. 

“Are you okay??” Satoru frantically asks while grabbing onto you. You didn’t notice how close your bodies were. Or how his hand caressed the back of your head. You could feel his warm breath brush against your skin and you were now painfully aware how close he was. 

You could feel the warmth of his body pressing against yours, and even in the dim lighting in your room, you could see every little facial feature on him. 

He wasn’t wearing his glasses, his eyes shining the most. He was so close that you noticed how perfect his skin was, like almost all of his pores were nonexistent. His lips were a glossy shade of pink, and for the first time you wondered what they felt like. 

It was so unfair how pretty he was. 

“Yeah.” You slightly whisper. Too afraid that if you spoke too loud it would ruin the moment. There were no other words spoken in between you two. Instead, he just leans forward. His lips are getting closer and closer to yours. He was about an inch away from you, ready to delve in. That was until your alarm went off. 

The loud blare of your alarm causes the both of you to jump back from each other. Both faces are equally red from what just happened. 

“I… I gotta get ready for school now. So get out of my room.” You say while pushing the lanky boy out of your room. Once the door was shut, you let out a big breath trying to calm your racing heart. On the other side, Satoru has a large grin on his face. Happy that he was able to get this close to you. He was determined to go all the way next time. 

His fourth attempt: 

The drink in your hand was the most interesting thing in the world for you right now. You didn’t really want to witness the flirting that was going on right beside you. 

Satoru had dragged you out to this party, claiming that you needed a break from all the studying that you do. However, you would rather be cooped up inside than watching Satoru flirt with another girl. 

You could hear her giggles as Satoru talks to her. Her body is a little too close to him for your own comfort. Her hand slaps his shoulder every once in a while. 

“I don’t know what’s so funny about him anyway.” You mutter to yourself while swirling the liquid in your cup. You would know that he wasn’t that funny anyway. Rather annoying, in your opinion.

“What was that darling?” The man that infuriated your thoughts was now speaking to you. “Nothing.” You quickly spit out, “it’s nothing.” “Hmm,” he smirks at the frown on your face, “are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with that girl flirting with me.” You scoff at his words, “yeah right. You were doing all the flirting from where I was sitting.” 

Satoru just laughs, “don’t worry. You’re the only one for me.” 

His words struck a nerve in you, causing you to freeze up in shock. 

The only one for him. 

Your lips then form into a small pout, “well now it sounds like you’re trying to flirt with me.” “Well, I have been. For a while now.” You were even more confused now. “Me? Why me?” “Because I like you, duh.” 

Your face burns red at his words. Feeling stupid for not picking up at his flirting attempts from before. “Well… I like you too.” “Good. Then it should be alright if I do this then.” 

 He then leans forward, hands cupping your cheeks to place his lips on yours.

[cinnamon-girl-writes]

dinner dates ! jjk x reader series pt .1

by @cinnamon-girl-writes

featuring: yuuji, gojo, megumi, inumaki

yuuji itadori:

yuuji would defintely take you to a hibachi grill

you’re wearing a baby pink sundress with cherry blossoms on it and he’s wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks cause he wanted to dress up for his girl !!

he thinks it’s really cool how they cook the food in front of you and he likes the entertainment

definetly orders a bunch of other dishes for you guys to share (boy where tf are you getting that money from???)

actually. he saved up all his money so he can take you out for a really nice dinner 🥺 he loves you so much and he just wants you to feel special and beautiful

he orders pork gyoza and tempura shrimp for you guys to share 😈

if it’s your birthday yuuji would ABSOLUTELY tell the cook and have the restaurant sing you happy birthday

then he records it and posts it on his instagram story because he’s just so proud of his girl 💗

if the restaurant has a koi pond he will absolutely LOVE it

afterwards 90% of his camera roll will be pictures of the fish (the other 10% is you)

would be like ‘babe they’re so pretty 😚’ and y’all would spend like twenty minutes just looking at the fish

not that you mind because you love to see your sunshine boy happy and you like the fish too

he would definetly toss coins in the pond with you and be like ‘babe let’s make a wish to be together forever at the same time 🥰’

you would do it of course and he would be over the moon

makes you pose by the fountain and takes pictures of you because his girl is just so pretty, how could he not?? :)

afterwards you guys go get dessert at a cute lil cafe and he gushes about how much he loves you <333

gojo satoru:

you know this man would take you to the most fancy expensive restaurant just because he can

he forgot to tell you so one night at six thirty he’s just like get ready 😏 and you’re like wtf

he orders a taxi (read: nanami) because he can’t drive :/

when you get there there he tells the waiter the name and y’all go sit down at a private table in the back of the restaurant with a really pretty view of the city

the waiter brings out a bottle of red wine and pours it for you while you and satoru chat

when i tell you that he orders so much sushi-

the waiters have brought out a platter of (probably) every type of sushi that the restaurant serves

also his favorite type of sushi roll is shrimp tempura roll I don’t make the rules

he sees a plate of onigiri in front of him and he’s like ‘aww inumaki 🥺’

please he loves his students so much it’s so sweet

you both eat a bunch of it until you’re feeling super full

then he’s like ‘okay babe what do you want to order??’

and you’re like 🙂what

he’s like ‘baby that was just the hors d'oeuvres 😣’

he makes you order a main dish because ‘it’s okay you’ll be hungry again 😙’

you order some miso ramen and he gets a steak

it’s actually really food and you’re glad you had werem’t too full for it

satoru definetly feeds you some of his food from across the table

afterwards, the two of you walk around the streets for a little bit and get some matcha ice cream to finish the night off ✨

megumi fushiguro:

i think that, instead of a restaurant, megumi takes you around the city for street food because you’ve never really explored the city before

it’s absolutely lovely; the weather is nice, it’s not too busy, and it distracts the two of you from being jujutsu sorcerers

you find a street vendor that sells korokke so that’s what you eat first

you see a souvenir shop down the street, so you decide to go in there and get some cute little gifts for your friends 😌

megumi finds a silly pair of tourist sunglasses that he thinks itadori will like and you get nobara a blue scarf decorated with little animals

as you exit the shop, you start to feel hungry again so the two of you decide on yakisoba and it’s delicious 😈

the two of you walk for a while together, hand in hand until you see a stand that sells mochi

you insist to megumi that you have to bring some back for gojo: ‘come on megs, he would love it! especially from you’ ‘he can buy his own food 🙄‘

of course you eventually convince him and gojo loved the sentiment (and the food)

you guys end the night back in his room, cuddling and watching a movie 💜

toge inumaki:

okay so inumaki totally takes you to one of those cute animal restaurants

i’m gonna go with he takes you to a pig cafe <3 and omg they’re so adorable!!

he bought you guys matching hoodies when you started dating so y’all are wearing those 🥺

also i headcanon that inumaki has a really cute instagram that he keeps up with so of course he’d take you to a spot where he could take lots of pictures of his girl <3 and baby pigs ofc

you guys order ramen and sushi and the food is really good! :)

the restaurant has a huge glass wall so you get a really pretty view of the mountains

the vibe in the restaurant is also really nice, there’s chill ambient music playing in the background which reminds you of him 🥺

he thinks you look so cute (and you do ofc)

he can’t really talk about it with you because of his technique so he has his notes app open to type you messages 🥺

he gives you so many forehead and palm kisses so that he makes sure you know how much he loves you 🥺 poor boy it absolutely whipped for you

speaking of being whipped, he also tediously makes sure you’ve eaten enough and that you’re liking our food 

he’ll 100% share his food with you either way, he loves the feeling that he’s taking care of you 

afterwards you guys go get boba tea before you go back to jujutsu high and he walks you back to your room to kiss you goodnight 🥺

[sebastiannewai]

Missing you || csc

✿ scoups x reader

✿ idol!scoups x actress!reader

✿ fluff, comfort

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

You sat on your dressing room, wiping away tears. Today had been one of the worst days of filming you could remember. Every scene went wrong, and the director’s frustration only made you more anxious. To make matters worse, it had been two long months since you last saw your boyfriend, Seungcheol, who was on tour with the boys.

The day dragged on, each hour feeling like forever. Finally, when the sun had set and the crew called it a day, you sighed with relief and head straight to the hotel. After freshening up, you just wanted to rest and lie in bed. As you close your eyes, your phone started ringing. You’re sure it’s cheol. It has been your ritual to talk at the end of the day, no matter where or how busy you both were. You were hesitant in answering the phone at first because you know you might break down and cry just by hearing his voice but in the 3rd ring you answered. You still can’t resist not seeing him or hearing his voice, even if it’s just through a screen.

"Hey, love!" he said, his eyes lighting up on the screen. "How was your day?"

You forced a smile. "Hi, cheollie. It was okay, I guess?"

He was puzzled by your answer and asked "You’re not sure? What happened?"

You shook your head. "Nothing, it was just a normal day. How was your show?"

Seungcheol grinned. "It was awesome. The crowd was amazing. But I missed you."

You sighed, hiding your face from the screen and wiping the tears away. "I miss you too, cheol.”

He grinned, but then his expression turned serious when he can’t see you on screen. "y/n, I want to see you. Please don't hide."

You sighed and moved fully into view, your eyes red and puffy. "It was a really tough day and I miss you so so much."

He looked at you closely. "There's something else, isn't there? I can see it in your eyes."

You hesitated, biting your lip. You wanted to tell him something but felt unsure. "It's nothing, really."

"y/n," he said tenderly, "you can tell me anything. What is it?"

You took a deep breath. "I just... I wish you were here. I'm having such a bad day, and I want to be with you. Would it be too selfish to ask if you could come home, just for a little while? Just to give me a tight hug? I know you're busy and that your tour is important, but I just... I know it's silly."

His face softened. He spoke gently, "It's not silly or selfish at all. I wish I could be there with you too, to hold you close and hug you tight. But we both know how important this is for us and for our dreams, right? We're in this together, and we'll make it through, I promise. Hey, we'll be together soon. Just a little longer, okay?"

His words wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, easing the knot of longing in your chest. You felt a wave of calm wash over you as you realized you weren't alone in this journey. You nodded, feeling a bit better. "Yeah, I guess so. Thank you, love."

"We'll take each day as it comes," He continued, his voice warm and steady. "And before you know it, we'll be together again."

You nodded, feeling lighter and more at peace than you had all day. "I can't wait for that day, cheollie. Until then, I'll hold onto you. Wow, you always know what to say."

He smiled. "That's what I'm here for. Now, tell me something good that happened today. There must be something."

You thought for a moment. "Well, I did get to eat my favorite ice cream during a break."

He laughed. "See, that's a start! And when we're together again, we'll have all the ice cream we want."

You giggled. "Deal."

You talked for a while longer, sharing stories and laughs until it was time to say goodnight. As you hung up, you felt a warmth in your heart. Even on the worst days, Seungcheol's love made everything seem a little brighter.

"Goodnight, my cheollie. I love you," you whispered to the dark screen.

"Goodnight, y/n. I love you too," his voice echoed in your memory.

You lay down, feeling a bit more at peace. Tomorrow was a new day, and you knew you could face anything with him by your side, even from miles away.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

I'm back? hahahaha