#i keep going 'why didn't anyone tell me' as if i was not. actively avoiding spoilers. sorry. ^^;

[aphroditesmoon]

wish you'd ask me

clarisse la rue x fem!demigod!reader

summary: you're not good at reading subtle hints, clarisse realises that maybe she should've been more upfront with her feelings for you.

warnings: fluff, oblivious!reader, clarisse is down bad, reader is very neurodivergent coded, kissing, flirting, title n fic inspired by 'Wish You'd Ask Me' by Matt Maltese.

A/N: thank you for 1.9k followers!! I love you all dearly, my ask box and dms r always open, im glad that my writing is being enjoyed by so many people<3

wc: 4.5k

You have been in camp half blood for more than 4 years. You have made yourself at home for the last several years. 

It was easy to view yourself as lesser or inadequate in comparison to other mortals during your days in the real world before you were sent to camp. The world has never failed to remind you of how different you were. Always too much or not good enough, always special and never normal

And it wasn't like you were dying for some sort of diagnosis to justify why you are the way you are, but upon discovering that you were actually a demigod, it felt like all the questions you've been harboring to yourself was finally answering themselves. 

Everything clicked. Everything made sense, though at the same time, it felt impossible. You were a very confused little girl when you first arrived at camp. A girl who just wanted someone to tell them that it'll all be alright in the end.

And you still remembered the first person to hold you by your shoulders and made you look into their eyes as they told you that it was all going to be okay.

The girl with beautiful long curls and dark piercing eyes. The girl that everyone else, apparently, was afraid of.

But you could never be afraid of Clarisse La Rue. 

Not with the way she smiles when every time she sees you, the way she never fails to make you feel included even in activities you're not capable of participating in. Not with the way your whole body electrifies every time your skin touches, when your hands brush against each other. 

It didn't matter what anyone think, because no one could change the perception you've built of her. Clarisse La Rue is good. Or at least she is to you.

When you first heard of the rumours surrounding her, you did think better than to force a friendship on her. You strayed away from her and stuck to your cabin siblings and your books, but you noticed daily how she'd still go out of her way to talk to you at least once a day.

It didn't need to be a long conversation, just a passing acknowledgement. An easygoing 'hey, how've you been doing.' Sometimes she'd even go as far as cracking a joke with you.

With how serious her face is whenever she make the jokes, you'd have to think twice as hard and thrice as faster than another person to try and guess if she was being genuine or not so you could fit in a necessary laugh when you needed to.

Even as her anger became more apparent because of the new kid's accidental climb to fame and embarrassing the Ares' cabin, she still found time to make a conversation with you.

It had been long since you tried to ignore or avoid her. You learned that her attention towards you is harmless, and that she seemed much more comfortable telling you certain things compared to others. If she has been viewing you as some sort of safe box, then you don't really mind it. You liked listening to her talk and keeping her heart's intent as your secret.

You too, talking to her. To some people, you are reserved,  

and to others, talkative. Either way, people find it easy to discard you at any moment they decide you are irritating.

But Clarisse listens. And she asks questions, she's patient- much patient that anyone could anticipate or guess. 

It may be hard for others to believe, but Clarisse is more complex than she seems. She had the capacity to be gentle, and she had the capacity to respect boundaries. The more time you spent with her, the more that side becomes easy for you to access.

Today, however,  marks a new record for your friendship with her. A few weeks ago, she had informed you of her newfound interest in the history of folklore monsters. What a coincidence that you were currently self-studying on that specific topic.

She insisted that you hook her in on whatever it is you're learning. She had even gotten you a doughnut to eat together outside the library as you told her of your insights of dragons and their theorized blindness and incapability to differentiate a variety of prey.

The conversation went well, she seemed immensely in awe of your knowledge and had no problem telling you how she felt. 

You even gave her some book recommendations, though you knew she wasn't much of a reader.

You felt a shift in your relationship that night and had spent the next three days studying more and more about the topic. And today, you had asked her to spend the evening with you. 

You shouldn't feel so nervous asking her to hang out. That is what friends do, after all.

She found you in the library, sitting on the floor in between two large bookshelves. She had been right on time and enthusiastically so. The two of you sat together, hidden by the shelves as some semblance of privacy. 

Clarisse looked confused when you had explained that you indeed wanted to spend the rest of the day in the library, but she accompanied you anyways.

You could never get sick of the smell of the books. Old and new, they all have some nostalgic past tied in between the pages, begging to be discovered. 

You had your back on the walls with tinted windows above your head as she's seated opposite of you in a criss-crossed position.

Today, the library isn't as packed as usual. There were still people walking in and out and checking out the books on the counter, but not too many that it became obnoxiously loud and annoying. 

After finishing another book of Monsters and how to spot them, you're feeling knowledgeable enough to explain the lore of the Giants to Clarisse, she had asked you about this the other day, giants have been long extinct to the point that some might even say they may have never even existed. And so you were interested in sharing with her all of the information you have learned about the majestic species of a beast.

You started with the general information. The basic understanding of what a Giant is the mythhs of Giants and the validity of those sources. Clarisse listened closely in the beginning, never interrupting you unless she had an actual question.

She seemed in awe of the stories you tell her of. You don't blame her, for you yourself have been most interested in the topic of Giants.

You were an hour an a half in when noticed her attention faltering. She leaned against the cases of books, her eyes twitched slightly when you began to explain the different types of giants, and the difference of how they operate.

Her hands are folded together on her lap, and you can feel her listening in on everything you're telling her as she adds in some commentary here and there, but you also felt that she wasn't entirely in on the conversation.

The dim lights of the library made the atmosphere feel warm and secluded, even with its vast space and many other campers hanging around in the other tables and shelves. You made sure to keep your voice low as you spoke in fear of the librarian kicking you out. 

You had a good reputation with the library workers, they liked how organized and polite you were. 

"A lot of people think their greatest strength is their size, which is valid, they are huge, but their real weapon is their mouth." You told Clarisse, ignoring the litter of books by your left that you had brought over for reference.

"They kiss you to death?" She asks suspiciously. You laughed shortly and shook your head. "No, I mean their breath."

She responds with an 'ohh.' 

"They're giants, so their mouth is large too, and you can easily tell what they had for breakfast even from their tall height. Their breaths are also known to be so rancid it could kill you, because they don't exactly eat what we eat." 

She raises a brow as she stretches her hands upwards. "Isn't that ogres?" 

"It's both." You confirmed.

You were about to continue your explanation but halted by instinct as you notice how her mouth keeps pursing together as if unsatisfied, and she has that look on her face that mimicked a confused expression. You're don't think there's anything to be confused of.

"Are you okay?" You asked her worriedly. Clarisse sits up straighter at the question and waved a hand off to assure you she's fine. "Of course, no yeah- I'm fine."

"You seem bored, you're not really interested in what I'm saying are you?” She opens her mouth to counter your words but hesitates to say anything. 

"I- well, I like giants-" She attempts, "-no you don't. " 

"No. I don't." She admits with a sigh. "But I thought you said you were interested in these kind of stuff?" You questioned her. "Well, yeah, like the general idea of it. I mean, I don't hate it, and I like hearing you talk about it." She answers with a shrug.

"Then why do you look disappointed? If you didn't want to come, you could've just told me. I wouldn't get mad." You told her honestly. It was conflicting for you to see her so confused on what to say, being so picky with the words she chooses.

You figured she's probably reluctant to hurt your feelings. That is a notion you're used to. You'd rather she tell you the truth to your face than to be catered around like a time ticking bomb that everyone's so afraid might explode at any time. 

"When you asked me out yesterday, you told me this would be an 'evening to remember." She tells you with such confidence like it was an explanation to her weird behaviour today.

"You don't think this is an evening to remember?" You sincerely inquire.

"No, I do! I just- well, when you said that I didn't think you'd mean we'd be doing this." Your frown deepens as you try to figure out what she means, eyeing her body language closely. “What do you mean? I told you I wanted to hang out.” 

A part of you is offended. She was the one who had said she liked hearing you speak, why would she be disappointed that this was your idea of spending time together?

"I don't know, I thought we'd just be doing...something else?"

It didn't matter what she had really meant with that. You felt completely embarrassed once she finished her sentence. Why was it that everyone else had no problem having long conversations with their friends, but when it came to you, it's all too awkward, unnecessary, and odd? 

You liked Clarisse, you considered her your friend. Sometimes you wonder if it could ever be more, but you never entertain those thoughts because you don't want to ruin what the two of you already have. 

But moments like these resemble a huge slap in the face by the universe.

You couldn't even be good friends with her, how ridiculous of you to think that there could ever be something more.

"Okay, um, maybe we should just go back to our cabin." You decided whilst standing up and picking up the stack of books you're currently borrowing from the library, ready to leave the place without waiting for her.

"Hey, wait." She called out as you walked past her. You spared her a glance, trying your best not to show how upset you are.  “We're friends." She says it so much like a question that you weren't sure if she's even sure of the fact herself until she continued speaking. "I like hanging out with you."

Another thing that you weren't sure if she really meant. "Sure." You replied thinking it's the most suitable response. 

Before she could say anything else, you turned around and started picking up your pace until you disappeared out of her sight.

—

You have been consistently ignoring Clarisse. Which proved to be harder than expected.

When you pass by her camp or the training ground, you make a mental note to always look down or to your front as to never accidentally cross eyes with her.

And everytime you hear her call out your name, you keep walking like you didn't even hear her, knowing that she wouldn't be bold enough to call for you again. After all, she still had a reputation to uphold.

If ignoring her wasn't hard enough, having to deal with how you felt for her is worse.

You've been avoiding confrontation with yourself for weeks even before you decided to go no contact with her.

And so far, you thought you've been handling it pretty well. Except for days where you don't see her where she's expected to be. You tell yourself that you don't care as you make your way to training in the day and reading in the evening, and yet you still go back on your own words when you asked a passerby Ares kid on where his cabin leader was.

"She's dunking some kid's head into a toilet bowl." Of course she was.

You thanked the dude and went back on your way to your cabin. It's close to dusk, the sky is turning orange and the sun is dipping itself below the earth. You take your time returning to your cabin as you enjoy the way the sun slowly removes itself from anyone's viewing.

You wondered to yourself if things like these are what makes you weird or off-putting to some people.

Was enjoying nature and having niche interests only cute when it's done by girls pretty enough to be cool or if it's only in romance movies or books.

You don't find yourself weird, in fact you think all of your hobbies are pretty common and usual, and yet the way Clarisse had spoken to you at the library last week had made you feel unnatural.

You had wanted to do normal people things with her, but maybe your perception of normal is different to her.

Either way, you are pretty hurt with how she reacted. You loved her still, of course. It's kind of hard to unlike the girl you've been obsessed with since you were 15.

Once you finally reach your cabin, you quickly put down all of your books and your tiny sling back by the side before making it to the shower to refresh yourself before dinner.

You thought it hilarious of how hard you're trying not to care about Clarisse, and yet as you're cleaning yourself up, changing your clothes and attempting to read at least 15 pages of your World's Most Dangerous Beasts book, you could only think of her.

What would it take for her to think that you're cool, what kind of things did she want to do instead of listening to you yap around for 2 hours on what is an equivalent of a boring dinosaur facts, not that you really think dinosaurs are boring.

During dinner, you kept to siblings and had to make yourself finish your plate as your anxiety wrecking thoughts have a way of deriving you of an appetite. You also had to convince yourself to not search for her at the other tables which took more strength than one would expect.

But you succeeded, and you were now sure that the only obstacle left for the day was to try and fall asleep without the thoughts of her keeping you up.

Clarisse is a force, a fierce daughter of Ares, and a cabin leader who had much better things to do then hole up at quiet small places with you.

And just because she was nice enough to mantain a good relationship with you for 4 years, does not mean that you're worth her time. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.

That night, you managed to fall asleep after an hour of recalling Harpy facts in repetition. Counting sheeps had never worked on you, so you had to find something much more active to tire out your brain.

You dreamed of Clarisse with her hair down, holding your hand and pulling you closer so she could slip a flower on your ear.

And just as she's looking down at you, moving closer to do what it seemed like to kiss you, you awoke with a jolt, swearing under your breath as if you'd just gotten jumpscared by a ghost.

Someone's palms moved to shut your lips as you're met with a girl, hovering over you in the dark. Clarisse's dark eyes were recognizable, but it sent a shot of adrenaline through your body still.

"Shh." She whispered to your face, hand still keeping your mouth shut. "I'm going to remove my hands now." She whispered again. You nod in understanding and waited for her to pry her hand away from your face.

"What are you doing here?!" You exclaimed as quiet as possible as she helped you sit up.

"I'm sneaking you out." She answers with a wink. "It's 2 in the morning." You waved your hand around at the darkness and sleeping children. "3 in the morning, and yeah, I know. That's why it's called sneaking around." She corrects you with a grin so devilish that if you hadn't known her for a long time, you'd assume she's about to turn you into a new toilet bowl or dumpster boxing victim.

You sighed loudly and glared at her despite your fast beating heart. Her hand remained on top of yours until the minute becomes more awkward and she removes it as if she just remembered that she's been holding your hand.

Without explanation,  she climbed out of your bed and tiptoes to the open cabin door. You're still sitting up and looking at her with conflicted feelings.

Only after she turns back to you, cocking her head towards the entrance, do you give into her request and softly leave the comfort of your bed and trail after her.

"Where are we going?" You asked after her as she kept walking. Instead of responding, she asks you another question back, "Can you swim?"

"We're going swimming?" You watch her shrug in return from behind her and became even more distressed.

"So, is this your idea of having fun and hanging out then?" She laughs drily and slowed down so you could catch up. You walked fast enough until you're beside her and waited for her to talk. "You sound surprised, I would've thought that after 4 years of friendship, you'd know by now that I love doing things that includes active movements."

You did know that, it's a bit hard to not notice how much working out, training and running fuels her even more.

"And why are we doing it in the middle of the night?" The walk towards the lake by the back of the forest was short, considering that your cabin is the closest to the location.

You almost tripped and fell over a stick, but Clarisse was quick to scoop you back up by the back of your shirt. "Thanks." You mumbled to her. "And you haven't answered my question."

Clarisse pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the ground without caring of your presence. You, having more moral obligations than her, twisted your face to your left when she began to pull her trousers off. "Too many people in broad daylight." She tells you.

That is a valid reason, this lake is mostly known as a hook up spot, and true to it's cause, many dating campers have been caught together here during dawn or late evenings.

You braved yourself to turn towards her again slowly and realised that she had already hopped into the water. She had a sports bra on and a boxer.

And though you yourself had a tank top and shorts on, you contemplate the idea of suicide as a better choice than having to strip in front of her.

"Are you gonna get in, or are you just gonna gawk at me from there?" You were grateful for the dark being able to hide your flushed face from her, but deep down, you knew that she probably saw it anyways because of the shining bright moonlight.

"I can't swim." You told her.

"That's fine, the water's not very deep." You ransacked your brain for reasons to decline her offer, but at the same time, a small part of you yearned to take this risk that you've been so afraid of for gods knows whatever reason.

Clarisse is there, in the water and under the moonlight. You are only a few steps away from her. And like she said, the water isn't deep, only waist length. She stares back at you with a raised brow like she's challenging you to join her.

"Turn around first." You tell her. She smirked slightly before slowly spinning to the opposite direction. "You know I've seen you naked before right?"

"What?" You choked out, aghast. "Who do you think changed your clothes for you when you first got to camp." Oh, that.

Your shoulder relaxes as you realize she's talking about the first time you met. "That's was a long time ago." You noted. She hummed im agreement. "Yeah, we've both grown since."

You told her she could turn around once you're inside the water. Forgetting about the heighy difference between you two, the water was high enough to reach your chest, trying your best not to trip underwater the way you always do on dry ground, your hand instinctively reached outnfor her shoulder.

Clarisse held your forearm tightly and drew your closer to her until you're inches away from eachother.

You breathed in sharply and felt the need to fill in the awkward silence. "So, you...like swimming, huh?"

"Yes, evidently so." She answered. "Right right, can't sit still and all that." She actually chuckled at your sarcasm, making you proud of yourself.

"You know, even before I came to camp Half Blood, I use to be a pretty active person, running track, volleyball, sometimes swimming." Your eyes widened in curiosity. "Really?" She nodded.

"The counselor told my mom that I just had so many untapped energy, which I guess is a code for anger issues." Her grip on your forearm moves higher until her palm is over your shoulder.  "She told her that it'd be best for me to find a...healthy way, to channel that energy, and for my strong competitiveness. So I joined what I could, and that's how I spent most of my free time there. Besides, I never was that good academically. So, I ought to at least be good at something, right?"

"You are good." You blurted out. Your embarrassment faded away when you saw her smile. "You think so?"

"Yeah." You assured her. Her other hand had snaked around your waist without you noticing. Only when you moved slightly do you notice her holding you softly.

"The moon is really nice tonight, isn't it?" You said, trying to diffuse the tension. You pointed your finger up to the sky at the singular white orb.

She glanced up and let out a 'huh.'

"I like it when it's bright and whole like this, the moon in all of its glory. You don't even notice the starts around it when it's glowing like that." You could stare at the moom forever, even longer than the way you've been staring at the sun.

You believed in it the way children do with their birthday candle. To you, the moon has always been a symbol of hope or comfort for your future. Your fascination for it existed from when you were a child, the way it'd follow you from behind as you gazed upon it from the back of the car seat whilst your parent drove down the road.

The way it moved above you as you walked home from school, like one of the gods themselves watching over you.

"Nothing compares to the moon." You announced aloud, watching as the clouds around it began to gather over it. "Yeah, It's beautiful." You hear Clarisse speak.

As your head snapped back to her, you found that she had already been facing you.

"I like the moon...but not as much as I like you." She whispered loud enough for your ears only. Her face leans closer to yours, your noses brushing together. "Not as much as I like to hear your voice, when you tell me about your little harpy facts-"

"Oh, I haven't told you about the harpies yet." You cut her off. "I just finished that chapter this morning actually and-"

"-and, you can tell me about it after I'm done talking." You blushed and became silent, letting her speak.

Clarisse exhaled breathily, fanning your face with the subtle warm air. "I like doing things that friends do with you, but I don't want to be your friend anymore."

"Oh."

"I want to be more than friends." She elaborated.

"Oh." Oh.

You feel a sudden tightness in your chest, from anxiety or from butterflies is undecided. "You want to be best friends?" You joked, laughing nervously.

Clarisse snorted at your joke, but she was still grinning widely. "Best friends, If that's what you want to call it."

There was a moment of understanding shared between a second of shared gazes before her lips attached themselves to yours. An urgency, approval, meaning that can't be described by words.

Whatever gentleness there was inside of her before had vanished. Clarisse kissed you like a starved woman. Her lips craved yours like it'd be the last time she'll ever know how you taste like.

Your hands clasped on her shoulder and neck for support as she embraced you tighter to her body. You let her tongue slip into your mouth, meeting your own.

And as they danced together, inhaling all there is in your lips, every secret and every confession that have died on the tip ofnyour tongues, you are sure that no heaven nor hell could tear you open to see you back together like this.

You push her back abruptly, letting fresh air fill your empty lungs. "What's wrong?" Clarisse inquired worriedly.

"Last week." You sighed out, chest still heaving as your thoughts clicked together. "You thought I had asked you on a date, that's why you were disappointed."

She winced at the reminder, and for the first time in your life, you had been lucky enough to witness a flustered Clarisse.

"I'm right." Her silence confirmed. "Oh Clarisse, why didn't you just ask me?"

Huffing loudly, she rolls her eyes in irritation. "I thought I was obvious enough. "

Thinking back on it all, it did seem pretty obvious, but gods were you oblivious. The way you intepreted it all so wrongly.

"I've liked you for so long too." You admitted to her. Her scowl was gone at that, replaced by a teasing smile. "And what are you gonna do about it?" Her mouth returned to yours, letting go of all your fears and holding on to Clarisse like she's your anchor, you close the gap between your lips, welcoming the kind of pleasure that you've never tasted before.

[moran-with-a-g]

Hey I hope you don't mind, but I had a question. I'm a trans/queer diaspora Jew who has considered making Aliyah. In your experience, how is it to be genderqueer in a county where the language is very gendered? Like if I wanted to be referred to in a masculine way, but appear feminine would that cause a lot of pushback? I know here in the US it depends a lot on where you are, and I'd imagine that may be true over there as well but I also don't want to assume. I also know there's been some attempts at creating gender neutral language in Hebrew, but am unsure as to how widespread the usage of that is.

So it depends where you're going and how familiar people are with you.

For example, I don't bother correcting random strangers who I'm only meeting for the first time, because it's too bothersome to explain it every single time.

I have a friend who uses "plural masculine" pronouns (a sort of literal translation of they/them, very confusing for people to understand how to use if it's their first time), and they tell me how for most people it takes a minimum of a week to get the hang of it, and it's usually like a month before someone truly wraps their brain around it. So they settle on people just being respectful of their identity and doing their best, even if they get misgendered almost daily. Outside of that specific friend, I have multiple others who use plural masculine, but no idea how they go about it outside of queer circles. I had a similar experience to my friend when I used plural masculine as well.

I don't know about pushback, per se, because I personally didn't experience that much pushback from people who weren't family, but I'm sure that's not the global experience. In my experience people are more confused when you tell them than upset, and they're pretty curious why and how it works, and they're willing to try. Some of them don't, and I can think of one specific person out of like 100 people in my previous workplace who actively refused to use my pronouns, everyone else did their best even if they didn't always get it. When I started working there I still used plural masculine, and I had coworkers of plenty of backgrounds - secular, frum, Ashkenazi, Mizrahi, it was pretty diverse there. And I couldn't point at a specific group and tell you "they respect me more/less". Only a few specific people ever actually gave me trouble for my gender identity and they were pretty easy to avoid altogether. One time I had a fight about genderqueerness with a guy who used my pronouns for the entire half hour he called my gender a mental illness 🤷

Also, people usually don't care what pronouns you use for yourself. I tend to default to masculine pronouns on the phone because people assume from my voice I'm a woman, and it makes almost everyone confused and rarely does anyone ask about it XD they usually just keep replying to me with feminine pronouns.

All in all I would say my experience is pretty positive when it comes to respect, but I can get misgendered a lot on days I prefer masculine pronouns over feminine, and I learnt to live with that. I recommend asking more trans Israelis because my experience is almost exclusively about being queer in the central area of Israel, which is just more well known as a queer friendly area. I especially recommend asking trans people who have experience with putting their foot down more about their pronouns because I truly don't care about misgendering if it comes from a person who treats me and my gender identity with respect.

[harmless-variety-of-garden-snake]

Tommy's introduced as a bigot in season 2 and often shown taking initiative in starting the bullying of Hen and Chim vs. waiting for Gerrard to do something and just not standing up for them. There's even a scene in "Chimney Begins" where no one else is even in the room to overhear and Tommy still chooses to be nasty to Chimney instead of a bare minimum of civil. Even after the "resolution" of the episode and his 'apology' (not for racism, but for making Chim prove himself at work), he's still shown to have spent years not learning his lesson, becuase he goes back to the same behaviors with Hen and Chimnney even mentions that "the Asian guy" still isn't invited out by the team for drinks or BBQ.

Then when it's "addressed" in season 7, we see remarkably little growth from Tommy, where he's blaming "the environment" and Gerrard for his choices and actions as a grown man. And in season 8, we get a healthy dose of misogyny in ageism with how he speaks of Abby, while casually acknowledging he also screwed up her life.

It's not just that he was afraid to stand up against bigotry in the face of an evil boss. He could've taken Eli's route, and just be silent. But no, Tommy is someone who chose to actively participate in workplace bigotry and bullying, and then almost 20 years removed, shrugs it off as everyone else's fault.

let’s not forget his very recent comments about Abby that were reeking of misogyny. Talking about her dating some “himbo” younger than her (as if he wasn’t actively doing the same thing) and admitting he was lying the whole relationship (not just about his sexuality).

Word for word that man said, “Heard she went a little nuts after that” as if her entire world wasn’t flipped upside down with her engagement ending and having to take care of her sick mother. The only tiny bit of understanding he showed was him saying she deserved better, which duh. 

One time when I was five I put a bead in my nose and it went all the way up to the bridge and I had to push down on it from the top until I could get it out because I was scared it would go to my brain and kill me.

That has nothing to do with any of what you said, but I just thought I'd put that out there because you're doing some dumb shit and I wanted you to know we've all done dumb shit. This is a safe space.

Anyway, I don't think you've ever been a closeted queer person who's said and done some at times questionable or outright fucked up things to keep yourself safe from scrutiny.* I grew up seeing people like me getting murdered and heard people explain why it would've been avoidable if they hadn't been so obvious or if they'd just chosen to be normal. I also grew up with a lot of bullies who were only bullying me because it put them in the protected group. It kept them from having people look at whether or not they were actually a good target for bullying. I'm actually friends with a couple of those people now. Not close, but we're cordial and we'll talk when we bump into each other at the store. That has more to do with us being in our thirties and living our own lives. There's a couple who had no excuse whatsoever other than being actual homophobes, I don't talk to them.

I dated in high school, I was engaged but I was 18 so I don't know how much that counts, but then I came out when I was in my early twenties. I knew I wasn't actually interested the entire time I was with those people, either. At first I just thought the relationship wasn't right for me, then I started to realize what was actually going on. I still dated, I still asked someone to marry me because I thought I could be happy with them. I did love and care about them, just not the way you should if you're going to marry them. I also didn't tell anyone I was non-binary until two months ago, even though I figured it out about fifteen years ago. A trans person hiding their identity to protect themselves from danger or rejection is nothing new, but it's kind of a shitty feeling to know you've been lying to every ex you've ever had about something like that. I don't like that feeling, and it's going to take a while for me to shake that. I don't know that I ever will.

So all of that is to say that a character like Tommy is actually kind of important to those of us who also weren't perfect at being queer, especially those of us who grew up during a specific time. I was actually pleasantly surprised that a basic network show would have someone like that, but times they are a-changing. So onto your last point:

Abby Clark is played by a now 57 year old Connie Britton (drop the skincare routine, girl), Lou Ferrigno Jr is 40, and Oliver Stark is 33. When you're an actual grown person, a seven or eight year age difference is kind of nothing. One of you might be a little more ready for things like kids or marriage, but that's not a guarantee. But hearing that your ex started dating a 26 year old when she's about 50, whether or not he knows that she actually pulled Buck's info in a very questionable way (I love that no one going after Tommy ever seems to care about the massive ethical breach from Abby), is kind of...wild. And he presumably heard about this from a mutual friend of some kind, who likely gave him this information colored by their own perception of the situation. This is where critical thinking skills become important. Based on context clues, I can safely guess that Tommy asked someone how Abby was doing or ran into someone who knows her, too, and they said "Hey, did you hear about Abby's new guy?" Otherwise he would've said "I saw that she was dating...." or "She told me she was dating..." So this could've been secondhand bitchiness, it could've been that her behavior was being framed as extremely not okay by someone they knew. We'll never know, the show doesn't have the strongest writing all the time. I'm not touching the thing about her mother, because a very close family member of mine has Alzheimer's, a good friend just lost a parent to it, and I do not want to examine the behavior of a person who's dealing with that or that of the people in their lives.

Could he have said "But I get it, she would've been going through a lot because of her mom and then our breakup"? Yeah. Would it have been nice if they wrote any scenes between Tommy, Hen, and Chimney that bridged the gap between when they weren't close and when they actually celebrated him and his accomplishments when he left the 118 to show why he would be someone Chimney would call on in two major emergencies? Yeah. I think I would've liked to see them talk things out onscreen and to show any apologies. Mostly because it would keep people from dropping an essay in my ask box when I feel like my sinuses and temples are filled with hot needles. I don't actually need to see it other than liking the three of them together, because I figured that they would've shown some hesitation before Chimney would reach out to him or he would've pulled Buck aside to warn him to be careful with Tommy. Or Hen and Karen wouldn't have been so thrilled when they realized what had gone down before Buck and Tommy came into the hospital room. There's a lot of stuff they don't show on this show, but they'd at least make a point to do or not do certain things if a character hated or disliked a character.

*I believe a certain dispatcher even did a whole big speech about this on the very show you apparently watch. I didn't like the Glee part, because I don't like Glee after season one. But the rest of it was good.

[vmpivory]

but you're still a traitor.

౨ৎ﹒ [ 양정원 ] ☆ female reader / angst + cw. skinship + 0.8k wc - ( library ) now playing.. traitor by olivia rodrigo

raindrops hit the window slowly as you sat there, knees pulled to your chest. you were doing your favorite thing ever, listening to music with your earphones on a rainy day. favorite activities are supposed to make you feel better. but now it wasn't helping.

"brown guilty eyes and little white lies yeah, i played dumb but i always knew"

it was olivia rodrigo's 'traitor'. you know she didn't, but it felt like olivia herself wrote this song for you and jungwon. it explained everything happened between you two. 

sad songs make you feel better, they say. then why are tears rolling down your face now? ─ more under cut!

"that you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse i kept quiet so i could keep you"

no, you shouldn't be crying over a boy now, you keep telling yourself. but the harder you tried to convince yourself, the harder it became to stop the tears.

you stood up and walked to the mirror right beside your desk as the song continued. you looked at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes puffy and cheeks red. your makeup was also ruined.

"and ain't if funny how you ran to her the second we called it quits?"

you quickly took your makeup bag, trying to fix your makeup. your friends were gonna come over in a few hours for a sleepover and you couldn't show up like this. 

as you tried to fix your mascara, your hands trembled slightly. you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

why was this so hard? jungwon wasn’t worth it. at least, that’s what your best friend giselle always said. "you’re too good for him, anyway." maybe she was right.

"and ain't it funny how you said you were friends? not it sure as hell don't look like it"

you heard a loud knock on the door. you froze, mascara brush still in your hand, eyes locked on your reflection. you hadn't expected anyone so soon. you wiped your eyes quickly, swiping away the last traces of tears and taking off your earphones. you walked over to the door, your heart pounding in your chest for reasons you didn't understand. you opened it and there he was, yang jungwon. standing there in a hoodie you bought for him, his hair messy and soaked because of the rain. he was holding a cup of your favorite coffee in his hand. "can we talk?" he asked, quietly. you know you turned off the song before opening the door but you could still hear it.

"you betrayed me and i know that you'll never feel sorry for the way i hurt, yeah"

"there's nothing to talk abou-"

"have you been crying?"

you quickly wiped your cheeks again, even though you knew it was pointless. "no" you muttered, voice shaky "i'm fine."

jungwon stepped closer, his eyes scanning your face, searching for the truth. "you don't look fine," he placed the coffee cup on the table beside you and reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "i'm really sorry, y/n"

you flinched slightly at his touch, not sure if you were ready to hear those words coming from him. the last time he apologized, it felt empty. he promised change, but it never came.

"you'd talk to her when we were together loved you at your worst but that didn't matter"

"you're sorry?" she repeated, "are you serious? you hurt me, jungwon. twice." his expression softened, guilt taking over him. "i know i messed up and i hate myself for it. i shouldn't have done those things, i was such an ass and-" "aren't you dating her now?" jungwon pauses, avoiding your eyes for a moment. "yeah but.." he muttered "i regret how we ended and what i did" you shook your head, holding back tears. "that's not how this works, jungwon. you can't just show up here, apologize, and expect things to go back to normal. did you do the same with me too? did you go up to her and apologized while you were dating me too?"

"it took you two weeks to go off and date her"

jungwon looked taken aback by your words, his mouth opening and closing as if searching for the right thing to say. "i-i didn't know how to fix it" he said, "i'm really sorry, y/n. i wasn't fair to you. i wasn't fair to either of you and i really regret it." you wanted to yell, to tell him how much he hurt you, how much you cried when you found out about him and her, but all of that felt like it would break you even more. no, he wasn’t the boy you once knew, the boy you once loved. he changed. "i'm done talking. goodbye, jungwon," you said, your voice steady but your heart aching. he didn’t respond, just nodded, turned and walked towards the door.

"guess you didn't cheat but you're still a traitor"

.vmpivory    ©    all rights reserved    ━    2024

i wrote this in an hour bc i was so bored and its not proofread TT hope ygs like it tho ! <3

PERM TAGLiST: @woniesprincess @orimuraa @heeaara

[casteliacityramen]

Arceus on a fucking pogo stick I think I broke one of my ribs.

Every tiny movement threatens to elicit a hiss or a groan. Every breath threatens to turn into a string of pained coughs. He grasps the counter and flexes his hands in an attempt to wrench his attention away from the bruises all over his shoulders and torso. All it does is make him realize how much effort it takes to ball his hands into a fist.

He doesn't have any right to complain. He purposely went out of his way to be here because he didn't want any of his friends or family to see him like this. The thought of anyone coddling or worrying over him made his stomach churn; better to go somewhere where he doesn't matter. That sort of discomfort is the last thing he wants after a day like today.

The ramen stand seemed like the closest thing to nobodies to him, he thought coldly to himself when he sat down a couple seconds ago.

Although, judging from the concern he can feel emanating from the two stand employees, it seems like he's the only one who feels that way...

|| Previous Post || Jack's Fight || The Story So Far ||

He feels like his skin is going to crawl off his body in a desperate attempt to be anywhere but here. This kind of attention is the very thing he was trying so desperately to avoid. It's the kind of concerned look they were giving him, like he's something to be pitied--like they have something figured out and feel bad that he doesn't get it. The kind of look his mom and dad have given him every night for the past four years.

Stop looking at me.

Rio turns to the street and Ray towards the inner workings of the stand. For a split second, he thinks that maybe he grew some psychic powers. But he knows that it was most likely the nasty look he gave them. He probably looks miserable, he thinks to himself. He is.

“This was a dumb idea,” Jack mutters under his pained breath. When he was aimlessly walking around, at least the world had the decency to let him wallow in his misery alone. His hands stiffen on the counter to push himself up. Instead, the rest of his body refuses to budge. 

A look of confusion washes over his face before he deadpans. His exhaustion is keeping him from getting up, but it's hunger that's keeping him anchored to the stool. 

‘Right. I need to eat,’ Jack thinks dumbly to himself.

As he’s making that underwhelming realization, he watches Ray turn and walk towards him--the same kind of walk an adult makes towards a child who knows that he’s in trouble. Those deliberate steps towards him activates Jack’s fight-or-flight response and he shrinks, suddenly feeling self conscious. 

Jack's usual order of miso soup is set in front of him. It’s the same one he gets almost every night.

He’s wearing that same expression he always does. 

Jack realizes he's staring. He breaks eye contact, letting his hood act as a barrier between the two of them. Oddly enough, he feels more vulnerable here than he did in the fight earlier.

His eyes shift slightly side to side, a million thoughts racing through his head as he watches the soup's broth clouding over the tofu. 

Why are you giving this to me, you knew I stole from you, right? Did Rio tell you anything? What did my mom tell her? Aren’t you going to tell me off or something?

He involuntarily cups the bowl close to his chest as if it's the only thing that's keeping his heart beating. Then, he raises his eyes upwards in realization that this is the first time he's seen him today. He never apologized to the one person he actually wanted to say "sorry" to.

“I’m sorry I stole your tips. That was shhhuh-sshtupid,” Jack croaks involuntarily, grimacing how he ungracefully failed to decide between "shitty" or "stupid.” Both words felt inappropriate for different reasons, but his mouth was always faster than his thoughts and the words unceremoniously flop out like a half-eaten fish.

When Jack looks up to see if Ray is still staring at him, he lets out a held breath in relief when he sees Ray’s back instead of those weird, unflinching frog eyes that seemed to look through him rather than at him.

But, as if he’s being punished for his thoughts today, Ray turns, his head looking over his shoulder and stops working for a moment to look at him with those same eyes he just complained about. I mean, come on…

… But Ray nods, gives him the slightest indication of a smile, and goes back to work.

Everything he doesn’t need to chew goes down the hatch, even if it threatens to scald the back of his throat. When he’s back upright, he chews all of the bowl's tofu and seaweed with the grace of a drunken miltank. He lets out a sigh of content through his nose, but it's still a bit clogged from his fight so it comes out sounding like a half-hearted whistle.

Jack's notices Rio from the corner of his eye. She's peering at him with a side glance and the corner of her mouth tugs upwards. She lets out a quiet “heh” before she curls back into a ball, facing away to avoid the sour face he's definitely making at her. His face heats up in embarrassment, but he places the bowl down, satisfied, still holding onto the cup for its lingering warmth.

Now that his body is no longer screaming the words "I'm hungry," and "Arceus on a fucking pogo stick I think I broke one of my ribs," Jack groans as a new wave of thoughts bulldoze him. He's eaten, but now what?

He can check into the pokecenter so he can hide every fractured bone, every cut, and every bruise. But the pokecenter never takes away the soreness. His mom has been around long enough to know the lingering smell of a pokecenter's healing kiosks. When she finds out (with the luck he's had tonight, she will), his dad's going to find out.

It's not fair. How come she gets the right to get on his case when she never shares anything to begin with? He sees the way she drags herself around the apartment, obviously weighed by problems that plague every moment she's awake.

She keeps all her problems to herself, but the worst part of it all is that she thinks she's getting away with it. How come he's not allowed to let her worry when every other day she's whispering to his dad about how many people got hurt at work that day? About how money is getting tight? About how dad's not feeling well and it's worrying her? It's infantilizing.

He pauses, stopping mid breath as he shakes his head. It's not like he's any better. He hasn't told her any of the heavy things weighing on his mind for the past four years.

In fact, he's the one adding more to her plate as if she wasn't busting her ass to give him and dad a decent life and he's off doing petty shit like picking fights and pockets to feel something that wasn't-loathing and disappointment for himself for letting his best friend get hurt beyond repair and-

Jack shuts his eyes and inhales sharply, using the pain in his sides to get his brain to shut up. His mind never does him any favors when the city falls asleep before he does. He can spiral after he limps to the pokecenter and heads home. It's time to get out of here. The least he can do is pay for the miso soup-

Jack's mind goes blank for a second. Another second later, his body wrenches control again over his thoughts, letting him know that a bowl of miso soup wasn't enough. He needs to eat this thing right now. But... it can't be his. This has to be a mistake, right?

He slowly looks up at Ray, who is taking his time, but adjusting his body so that he can say:

Jack processes three things as he involuntarily takes the bowl and brings it towards him.

First: the last time he remembers hearing Ray talk was when Tai was running the stand, back before life got tougher. 

Second: Ray's voice was so soft and scratchy that he could just barely understand him.

Third: ...

Jack's hands weakly fall to the counter, blinking as he puts two and two together. It’s his favorite order. He knows who that "someone" is.

Goddammit.

After some short changes to the menu, the stand will open for a short time. Give them a moment. It's been a long day, after all.

|| Ayumi's Payment || Pinned Post ||

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Representation

Oh, so NOW child abuse is bad. Could have fooled me last episode!

Let's get into the twenty-fifth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Representation

We start off with an English news report recapping the ending of “Revolution”, stating that Ms. Bustier is going to run for mayor, conveniently ignoring her attempted coup in “Collusion”. We also see that Gabriel and Tomoe are still uncomfortably focused on making Adrien and Kagami appear to be a couple in public, much to their dismay. While Kagami is visited by Argos (who once again sneaks up on her, like he usually does), Adrien realizes he can transform into his space form and see Marinette whenever he wants and transforms into Cat Noir, planning to reveal his identity to Marinette. Hey, did he even tell Ladybug about his sudden departure? Because it didn't go well the last time he left Paris without telling her (New York Special).

We then cut to Marinette right after the events of “Revolution”, going to the end of the year dance... even though when we saw Adrien and Kagami in London, the sun was still setting, and France's time zone is only about an hour later, meaning Adrien and Kagami must have flown there at ludicrous speed.

Meanwile, Argos and Kagami somehow got from London to Paris offscreen, and watch Marinette from afar, with Kagami revealing she knows she's Ladybug. They decide to tell Marinette that Felix knows who Monarch is in order to ensure his downfall. Nah, I'm just kidding. Here's the real reason they're coming to Marinette for help.

Kagami: My mother and Gabriel Agreste will never allow us to love each other freely. Only Ladybug can help us.

Yep, rather than prioritize the fact that Gabriel is endangering the citizens of Paris on a daily basis, Kagami is seriously more concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend being tampered with. This is like saying Lex Luthor is evil because he cheats on his taxes. Argos transforms back into Felix, and... oh, for the love of God... he disguises himself as Adrien in order to get closer to Marinette. You can't keep portraying Felix as this master of disguise if he only has ONE disguise!

Marinette sees “Adrien” and assumes he came back from London from her, assuming her boyfriend is much more active that the writers actually believe he is, so she tries to follow him while avoiding the guests at the party. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Tomoe learn their children are gone, so he goes to talk with Nathalie and—why the hell is she like that?

Seriously, this has never been established as something that happens when someone uses the broken Peacock Miraculous. Why didn't this happen to Emilie? She looks pretty healthy in her little coffin, and I doubt Gabriel is an embalmer.

Anyway, after Nathalie once again reminds us that she hates Gabriel, but not enough to call the cops on him, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and immediately detransforms back in order to akumatize himself into Nightormentor.

Nightormentor is a pretty average recolor of the Collector's design, which kind of makes sense, considering that Gabriel himself intended the Akuma for himself. The star pattern is okay, but there's not much I can really say. As for his powers, he's just another Sandboy, being able to force people to hallucinate their worse nightmares, only instead of a pillow, his weapon is a staff created from a pen containing the Akuma, with the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to boot. Why he didn't just give himself the same powers he gave Truth when he's trying to find Adrien is anyone's guess.

Cat Noir arrives at the Eiffel Tower to talk with Marinette, just as Nightormentor appears. The two fight, and after a few civilians get caught in the crossfire, Nightormentor escapes through Voyage. As Cat Noir heads to the Dupain-Cheng bakery at the advising of Max, Alya and Nino decide that the totally not useless Resistance should get involved.

While Marinette gives chase, Felix leads her into the school's art classroom, where he transforms into Argos and creates a Sentimonster using Kagami's ring. Felix and Kagami use the Sentimonster's power to do... uh... whatever the hell this is.

Yeah, this is basically a flashback, but the animators probably blew their budget needed for the new models on Ms. Bustier's baby bump, so we're getting this instead, thanks to the Sentimonster Argos created. There are several scenes of Cat Noir and Nightormentor interspersed, but like what I did with Marinette's flashback in “Derision”, I'll give you the summary before I talk about my problems with this.

When Adrien's mother and aunt, Emilie and Amelie, were born, Emilie (who was born seven seconds early) was trusted with the family heirlooms, the two rings we first saw all the way back in “Felix”. Even though this meant she would inherit the family name, Emilie didn't really like doing... whatever the Graham de Vanily family wanted her to do, but Amelie did. Eventually, while studying abroad, Emilie met Gabriel, and the two fell in love. Before marrying Gabriel, Emilie gave up her role as the sole inheritor of the Graham de Vanily family's vague legacy, while Amelie married a man named Colt to please her parents. Both couples wanted children, but it's heavily implied that Emilie and Amelie were infertile, so their wishes weren't able to come true. Emilie finally managed to get a bun in the oven thanks to the Peacock Miraculous, but this made Colt jealous that he couldn't have a child. Out of the goodness of her heart, Emilie asked Gabriel to give the Peacock Miraculous to Colt, in exchange for letting the Gorilla guard Adrien in the future. Using his own jealousy as a source of power, Colt got Amelie pregnant, though at the cost of his health. Colt figured this was the price he had to pay for using “sorcery”, and used this as an excuse to treat Felix like a monster and ordered him around using the ring containing his Amok. Felix himself was unaware that he wasn't human until Colt accidentally broke the ring (which wasn't one of the two wedding rings used to control Adrien and was an entirely different ring containing Felix's Amok), which he stole as soon as Colt died. This is meant to explain why Felix decided to steal back the Peacock Miraculous, in order to save his life. Felix later met Kagami, and the two explain that they need “Someone like Ladybug” to help them.

Now if your only information about this episode is through my summary, it seems simple enough. For everyone else who actually saw this sequence in the episode itself, I'm guessing your thoughts were about the same as mine.

Let's go over every problem I have with this scene, starting with...

#1: The Way Kagami and Felix Explain This

Let me just ask something: Why can't Felix just talk to Marinette about what he knows since he now knows she's Ladybug instead of telling her everything through this weird play? You can still tell Marinette all of this without your two-man show. In fact, why did Felix have to wait until he knew Marinette was Ladybug instead of just talking to her the next time he saw her? Yeah, you could argue it's easier this way, but like I've been saying since Season 4, Felix has had no excuse to wait this long to tell Ladybug about the fact that he knows who her greatest enemy is.

And why the hell is it presented this way? Why does Felix have to recontextualize the story of his family's history in the form of a play? Why turn it into a stereotypical fairy tale that leaves out the names of all the important people, like Emilie, Amelie, Colt (whose name I only learned through the transcript of this episode), and Gabriel? If it was like a hidden message Felix and Kagami wanted to convey to Marinette, that would make sense, but why do they have to be so cryptic when they're only putting this show on for one person? You could easily avoid a good chunk of the questions this raises if this was a show Felix and Kagami put on for the public that Marinette was able to learn the information from. Yeah, it still wouldn't explain why Felix can't just tell Marinette about who Gabriel really is, but at least it's something.

The way it all happens kind of reminds me of this scene from this old Halloween special I saw a lot as a kid, Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular. In that scene, some of the kids act out a scene of this little girl's parents entrusting her with a flashlight to explain why she carries it around, in order to scare off any monsters she runs into, using the graveyard they were in as a makeshift set. This scene works a lot more because it's done in more of a tongue-in-cheek way, with some of the kids breaking character to boost their own egos (for example, the kid playing the mom comments about how responsible she is), and how one kid in particular gradually gets fed up with the whole thing. The scene does its job at delivering exposition in a way that isn't meant to be taken too seriously, and it's clear this is being done by some kids goofing around in-universe.

With this episode, it's clear that the writers want the audience to take this whole backstory seriously in spite of how absurd it all is. Seriously look at this.

We are seriously expected to take this backstory seriously when it looks like some theater major's midterm project. The animators want it to look artsy and unique for the sake of making it look artsy and unique. Why does it look like a play these two put together themselves if they're supposedly using a Sentimonster's power to do it? If the unnamed Sentimonster's powers is how Marinette is seeing all this, why can't it actually be seen as a flashback? Was it always intended to be a handmade play that was changed to the product of a Sentimonster at the last minute?

I get that the animators probably wanted kids to pick up on the visuals of the play, but even then, it makes it hard to really stomach the serious themes this backstory brings up, like infertility and child abuse, with the way they're presented. Not only do Felix and Kagami all play the characters using these white jumpsuits and masks, they also do all the voices, meaning that the only “dialogue” we hear from Colt is delivered by Kagami putting on a deeper voice. Let me repeat that: the only times we hear Colt, the abusive parent and all around garbage human being, talk, it's done by a teenage girl trying to make her voice sound deeper.

But hey, maybe the goofy voice will be overshadowed by the nuanced depiction of child abuse, right? Right?

#2: The Portrayal of Colt and the Double Standards Regarding His Treatment of Felix

I have never seen a single show struggle this much to convey a lesson as simple as “Child abuse is bad”.

When it comes to the parents in this show, terrible parents like Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe are almost never held accountable for the way they treated their children. If the writers aren't claiming they really love their children deep down, they're either downplaying how cruel they are at best or playing their behavior for laughs at worst. But here we are, the penultimate episode of the fifth season, and we finally have a parent who is unambiguously treated as a terrible human being with no redeeming qualities... and I still have problems with this.

This flashback really goes out of its way to let the audience that Colt was a real piece of scum in life. He only wanted a child out of jealousy, used his Amok to force Felix to do whatever he wanted, was heavily implied to have physically beat him at times, and blamed him for his poor health on his deathbed when he was the one who wanted to use the Peacock in the first place. Now that I think about it, why did Colt even use the Peacock to create Felix instead of Emelie? Was the episode so determined to paint Colt as a bastard that he wanted to be the one to create Felix himself?

The point I'm trying to make is that the show doesn't really explain why Colt was like this. Why was he such an angry man who treated his only child like crap? I don't know, because all the show's telling me is that he was just a dick. He honestly feels more like a caricature than anything else. He's only as terrible of a person he is in order to make the audience sympathize with Felix. I'm not saying that what Felix went through was okay, but it has the same energy as scenes of Gabriel talking to Emilie's body. It's mostly there to make the audience sympathize with an antagonistic character in spite of all the things they've done.

What's really weird is that even though the whole point of this play is so Felix can tell Marinette Gabriel is Monarch, so what does Colt have to do with this? I'm not saying he's not worth mentioning, but it makes no sense for Felix to tell Marinette about his abusive father before he tells her about Gabriel. It feels more like Felix wants to find a way to excuse his actions before telling Marinette about Gabriel being Monarch. And remember when “Derision” made a big deal about Chloe's terrible parents not excusing her actions? Funny how that conveniently doesn't apply to Felix in this episode.

In fact, let's talk about the elephant in the room: The fact that this episode aired right after “Revolution”, an episode that literally said a character living under an abusive and controlling parent was a fitting punishment for her. HOW THE HELL IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THAT? If anything, this episode really shows the double standards this show has about child abuse, how the only way your situation can be taken seriously is if you're a “good victim”. Chloe's a “bad victim”, so she doesn't get any sympathy when her mother outright says she's going to take control of her life, yet when Colt actually takes control of Felix's life, we're supposed to sympathize with him now. Why am I supposed to feel bad for Felix now when you just told me I shouldn't feel bad for someone in a similar situation last episode?

In fact, one theory I have about this backstory is that it was intended to kill two birds with one stone, no pun intended. I believe that this episode wasn't just written to give us more insight into who Felix is as a character, but also to show the audience what “real” child abuse is like. As far as the show is concerned with Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe? They're not actually abusive parents, Colt is, so you should condemn his actions, and not those three. It's blatant double standards, which is nothing new for this show.

#3: The Way Amelie Just... Lets This All Happen

In my “Derision” review, I discussed how strange it was that so many people in Marinette's life did nothing to help her against Chloe, and the same thing applies here with Amelie.

This episode never really explains where Amelie was when Colt was abusing Felix, much less if she was even aware of it. At least with Marinette's parents, they didn't know because most of Marinette's suffering was at school. Amelie lives with Felix and Colt, so what's her excuse? She seriously didn't overhear Colt yelling at Felix or notice the orders Colt gave Felix? Was she just that ignorant to her child's suffering? Remember, this is supposed to be Felix's good parent.

In fact, does Amelie even know Felix is a Sentimonster? Yeah, “Emotion” established that Amelie knows Felix is Argos, but this episode doesn't really make it clear if she knows Felix is a Sentimonster or not. If it was clear Amelie knew nothing about what Felix really was, it would arguably make things easier to stomach, as she wouldn't know the power Colt had over him.

Instead, even though she's Felix's mother, the show doesn't really explain what she actually did when Colt was making Felix's life a living hell, especially since the flashback says that Amelie was forced to marry Colt, so you can't even say she was blinded by love here. Hell, I'm not even sure if Amelie knew the cause of Colt's untimely passing.

#4:This Doesn’t Really Do Much to Explain Felix’s Actions

Now before you say I'm being insensitive, let me make one thing clear: My issue isn't with the fact that this was done to get the audience to sympathize with Felix. The problem I have is that the backstory doesn't do enough to explain why Felix did the things he did.

Okay, Felix wants the Peacock Miraculous. Understandable, he doesn't want to die, so he has to do morally questionable things to preserve his life like betraying the only person capable of stopping the man who can kill him. What's less understandable is his plan to get the Peacock Miraculous from Gabriel. You'll notice that the backstory didn't mention Felix's first appearance, where he only stole the rings belonging to Amelie's family, and he didn't even think to look for the Peacock. Instead, it cuts from Felix realizing he's a Sentimonster to him striking a deal with Gabriel, not even mentioning that he gave Gabriel back one of the rings as part of the deal, which still makes no sense.

If Felix's goal from the start was to get the Peacock Miraculous, why did he bother stealing all of Marinette's Miraculous as a bargaining chip for the deal instead of the family ring? In fact, why did Felix even steal the ring and wait an entire season to trade it back to Gabriel for the Peacock a season later? And for someone who claims to care about Adrien, he really didn't see anything wrong with giving Gabriel one of the two rings capable of overriding his free will.

As a matter of fact, why the hell is Felix even so hostile towards Adrien? Why did he go out of his way to smear his reputation in his debut episode if all he wanted to do was make a bargain with Hawkmoth? In “Risk”, he mocked Adrien for how he talked, while Adrien himself was aware of how he made him look bad in front of his friends, and that's not even getting into how he made himself look like Adrien as part of his plan to betray Ladybug, which would have screwed him even more if Adrien wasn't already Cat Noir. For someone who claims he wants to protect him from Gabriel, Felix really doesn't care about his cousin all that much.

In fact, why does Felix even hate Gabriel at all? The show hinted that the two had a history, yet during the backstory, which I need to remind you, was told from Felix's perspective on the events, has a surprisingly generous portrayal of Gabriel. Did Felix know Gabriel was Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch during his first appearance? Does Felix blame Gabriel for how Colt treated him growing up? Does Felix hate Gabriel for how he treats Adrien? Did Gabriel intend to get Colt sick in the first place? Seriously, what is Felix's deal with Gabriel?!

How does a flashback organized by Felix himself do nothing to really explain why he did the things he did?

#5: The Fact That There Are STILL Several Unanswered Questions Here

For something meant to fill the audience in on several important topics, there are still so many questions about the history of the Agreste and Graham de Vanily families.

Other than the vague backstory about them being rich, we still know nothing about Emilie and Amelie other than them being rich and possibly infertile. We don't know if Amelie ever loved Colt, if she knew he was abusing Felix, or if she even knew if he used the Peacock to play god.

On a related note, why did Emilie and Gabriel decide to use the Peacock Miraculous to create a son instead of adopting? Scratch that, why did she specifically create a Sentimonster to give birth to like a normal baby? Was there some kind of Macbeth-esque guideline that Emilie had to give birth to a child in order for said child to get the inheritance? Did she use the ring to control Adrien like Gabriel does now? Seriously, this is the character the show's conflict is all based around, and we still know nothing about her other than the fact that she was nice.

This flashback just makes no sense, and is such a stupid and confusing way to deliver exposition.

Anyway, during all this, Cat Noir and Nightormentor are fighting, and for the third time this season, Cat Noir attempts to Cataclysm him someone, even when he had Nightormentor pinned down. Nightormentor breaks free and hits Cat Noir with his magic dust, causing him to hallucinate... Cat Blanc?

Yeah, the script calls this form “Anticat”, but given how it looks like a reused Cat Blanc model coupled with the petrified people of Paris, this is clearly meant to bring Cat Blanc to mind. The problem is that NEITHER CAT NOIR OR NIGHTORMENTOR KNOW ABOUT THAT. Why would you remind audiences about an Akuma that technically never existed?

Better yet, is this what Cat Noir trying to his Cataclysm on people this past season (Destruction, Jubilation, Derision) has been building up to? The fear that he'll lose control? You could have fooled me, as he never really showed that much remorse for almost hurting people other than Monarch. Yeah, you could argue that because Nightormentor based his hallucinations off his victims' worst fears, but again, this fear had little to no buildup this season because Cat Noir never felt any guilt for Cataclysming Monarch after “Destruction”, and whenever tried to use his Cataclysm on other people, Cat Noir never really realized the weight of his actions. If you want to make a character arc about Cat Noir worrying about hurting people with his powers, go more into the guilt he feels for hurting Monarch and using that guilt to affect his actions. Don't just use some “Cat Blanc” nostalgia bait to convince the audience that there's been a character arc.

Nightormentor takes advantage of Cat Noir's emotional state to get his Miraculous, only for the Resistance to save Cat Noir by... throwing stuff at him. And this is how they defeat him. While Nino, Alya, Ivan, and Zoe distract Nightormentor, Kim and Max help Cat Noir focus, Cat Noir Cataclysms Nightormentor's baton.

Zoe traps the Akuma in a jar, Cat Noir doesn't take it, he heads off to detransform and confess to Marinette, only for the hallucination to still affect him since Ladybug didn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and even though he knows it's just a hallucination, he still uses it as a reason to not reveal his identity to Marinette, even after Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma herself.

The episode ends with Gabriel and Tomoe locking Adrien and Kagami in these white rooms while under heavy surveillance to ensure they won't escape, vowing to start “Operation: Perfect Alliance”. Because these two like using the word “perfect” more than they like subjecting their children to what one of my anons referred to as “white torture”.

Because that's a good way to keep your children under control: psychological torment.

Other than the stuff with Felix and Kagami, this episode was pretty dull.

There's just not much I can really say here. The plot was barebones, all Marinette did was listen to Felix and Kagami's story so the writers didn't have to involve any of them in the main conflict, and even Cat Noir confronting his akumatized father doesn't have a lot of weight to it because towards the end, it focuses more on Adrien's nightmare instead of his relationship with his father.

This episode is nothing more than a prologue for the final battle. It's only here to establish Adrien and Kagami's presence in London, Marinette learning Gabriel is Monarch, and even more setup for Gabriel and Tomoe's final plan. And trust me, the buildup will be far from worth it.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... FELIX

It's amazing. The only time this season Felix goes out of his way to actually help Ladybug, and he still screws it up. He abducted Kagami from her hotel in London without thinking of Tomoe hunting him down again when that was the entire plot of “Pretension”, only decided to tell Marinette he knows who Monarch is because he's getting in the way of his relationship with his girlfriend, did so in an unnecessarily convoluted way, and even though he made a big deal about not wanting to use Sentimonsters in his last appearance, he still used one to tell Marinette his life story instead of just saying “My uncle is Monarch”.

And if you think Felix will get a chance to truly redeem himself in the finale, think again, bucko. Other than a brief cameo, this is the last thing he'll do this season. Aren't you glad the writers made this character prominent for seven episodes over three seasons and did nothing else with him?

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as 1989 Songs

+ bonus! the slytherin boys as romance tropes

I decided to shake this one up a bit and do all happy love songs

here's 1989 (tv ofc); which taylor swift album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott, lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist works

mattheo riddle as I Know Places

best lyric(s) - "let them say what they want we won't here it" + "love's a fragile little flame it could burn out" + "just grab my hand and don't ever drop it"

trope - enemies to lovers :)

mattheo w a crush - in love, mattheo is somewhere in the middle between being sappy and just straight up insulting you. not like calling you ugly or anything but like "damn i didn't know it was possible to mess up such an easy spell" like kind of teasing. he's one of those guys that will be mean at first and then be like playfully mean and then finally, will start being nice to you but only sometimes. he just thinks you're adorable when you're angry.

mattheo as a boyfriend - now as a boyfriend, mattheo still teases the hell out of you but god forbid literally anyone else does bc he'll kill them. like actually. also the pair of you go through a little bit of a rough patch during the war and he keeps telling you that you have to stay way from him but secretly, he's really happy that you never actually listen to him because he doesn't know what he would do without you. he just kind of ignores all the whispers and hogwarts becomes your guys' like safe little happy love bubble.

draco malfoy as Out of the Woods

best lyric(s) - "the rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color" + "when you started crying baby i did too, when the sun came up i was looking at you" + "I walked out I said 'i'm setting you free' but the monsters turned out to be just trees"

trope - everyone can see it except for you

draco w a crush - I think draco would be the kind of guy that actively avoided his crush. like if you were sitting in the very front of transfigurations, he was sitting in the absolute furthers corner in the back. If you were going on the hogsmeade trip, he was begging his friends would leave him to simmer in his affections for you. he's just so nervous and so certain you'll dislike him that he'd rather not talk to you at all. when he finally does work up the courage, he's extremely happy and like eternally grateful that you'd give him a chance.

draco as a boyfriend - i do think though that draco is not always the best at communicating just because he always wants everything to be so perfect and he doesn't want there to be anything that he says that could make you resent him so he'd rather not say anything at all. obv, this doesn't work out well for him cause like... communicating w you is so essential. y'all get into arguments fairly regularly but you always end up making up because he's always just creating those demons in his head and it's almost never that serious.

theodore nott as Suburban Legends

best lyric(s) - "you were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious" + "when you hold me, it holds me together and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" + "you'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out"

trope - hopeless romantic

theo w a crush - I think with a crush theo would be the kind of guy that just simps like a mf. like you need someone to carry your books, he's there, why would you even try to carry them yourself? just let him take care of it. or like, when you're not feeling well and you might need to spend a few days in the hospital wing, while you're sleeping theo sneaks in and leaves the notes for the classes you missed as well as your favorite sweets and flowers. (one time when michael corner made you cry, he beat the snot out of him and then the next day left this huge teddy bear outside your door with the note "y/n, that douchebag sucks. -tn")

theo as a boyfriend - theo's simp nature carries over when he's a bf so he's super freaking caring. he does literally everything for you. he'll brush your hair when you get out of the shower if you ask. or if you're like me and you have like thicker ethnic hair, he'll ask you to show him how to do your hair so that he can do it for you. he's also one of those guys that's like casually dominant. like hand on your lower back in a crowd, opening your doors, reaching up and grabbing things from the top shelf for you. naturally protective in the sense of like he always wants to sleep closest to the door in case something happens and like is also always making sure you eat and get enough water.

lorenzo berkshire as "Slut!"

lyric(s) - "and if i'm gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love" + "and i break down then he's pulling me in. in a world of boys he's a gentleman" + "got love struck went straight to my head"

trope - friends to lovers

enzo w a crush - enzo is the kind of guy who's not afraid to be in love. he actually loves it. he loves having someone to compliment and shower in gifts and win over. where mattheo would tease you, draco would avoid you, and theo would lose himself in you, enzo is the guy who would bring you inexplicable joy and make sure you knew that it was him that was bringing you joy. not to say that he wouldn't do sweet gestures and such but he's the sort of guy that will make you his best friend and then make you fall in love with him.

enzo as a boyfriend - because of this, you and enzo are like those like childhood friends turned lovers type of thing. he just knows you so well and the love between you two comes so easily. he makes it his personal mission to make you smile at least once a day. as your boyfriend, he's just really playful. things like pillow fights and tickle fights. he's also that boyfriend that will do all those little stupid tiktok trends with you but like really energetically and not just like half-assed bc if it's gonna make you smile, he's going all in.

---

4.25.24

wc 1k

taglist @moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

[yandere-fics]

♡ Raphael Master/Servant Kink ♡

(reader is dumb and doesn't realize Raphael is actually in love with them, thinks this is just part of her kink.)

Your boss was a unique one, right off the bat you really couldn't stand her, she never behaved like a dignified noble should around you, treating you specially which you feared would only make your life more difficult if the other servants decided to be jealous of you being her favorite, it wasn't going to end well but you decided you would make the best of it while it lasted which is how you discovered this seemed to be your boss's weird kink, acting as though you were her master and she was her loyal servant, a role reversal thing perhaps and while you were typically opposed to getting involved with nobles, you'd seen how difficult the lives of favored servants became when their masters clutched onto them, if this was only her kink then it had nothing to do with the fact that it was you so when it came your time to leave you were sure she'd just find someone else to participate in this with. Though you still wished she'd maintain decorum outside of the bedroom, you would rather avoid any rumors about you engaging in illicit activities with her, it would make it more difficult to be hired elsewhere if people knew you were sleeping with your boss. Like today, you had just been trying to sweep, your only task for the day, the head maid assigned you less work since you were the only one who could stop the lord of the manor when she was crying, and she had come up behind you to hug you.

"My Dearest Sunflower, I missed you." You knew she only meant in the bedroom, you hadn't been there in a couple of days since she'd been busy working and while she had tried to cajole you a few times, you'd remained firm in not distracting her, still you wished she wouldn't say it like that, other people could misinterpret your relationship as one of a romantic variety. You had tried to reprimand her about this in the past but it seemed not to change her mind and in fact only mad her 'affection' more vocal so instead you settled for telling her to just make sure she did it only when no one else was around. She'd cried, whispering something under her breath about how sweet you were but you shouldn't be concerned with her reputation, you didn't hear the other thing she said afterwards, she was too quiet of a talker honestly, another trait unbecoming of a noble.

"Master Raphael, do not call me that in the hallway. I will see you later tonight when my chore is completed." She sighed and slumped against your back, already beginning to sniffle, yet another thing you disliked about her, her quickness to cry when denied what she wanted and you could only assume what she wanted was to be able to role play with you right this second. She really ought to be more patient.

"I could take away your burdens if you'd only let me, dearest sunflower. You deserve far more than this." She was just saying that you were sure, just another part of the role play. If she really wanted to lift your burdens then she would stop acting like this where anyone could walk in and see the both of you, it would help your anxiety if she would keep this solely in the bedroom though you supposed it was only fair she was acting like this right now when she had been unable to express herself for a couple days. "Can't I ease your tension for a bit, dearest sunflower?" You sighed and nodded, hopefully the other maids would understand the master had pulled you away from your work, you always told them that she just liked the way your tea tasted but you were sure they were going to stop believing that soon enough, you'd be out of here before it could cause significant damage to your reputation though. You'd turned in your resignation in secret to the head maid so she could start looking for maids who'd be able to replace you, you think she understood why you had to go though she frowned a bit when you told her. Just a few more weeks and you'd be onto another manor.

"You should be grateful I let you do this to me." This was a part of your job you had to admit you would miss, the moment you entered her bedroom you were in charge of her and she had to bow to your every whim, her as your loyal butler, and you as the lady she lived for. Really anyone could play the role, you were sure she was just looking for someone to make her feel degraded and like a servant but you were happy she'd singled you out of this, it eased your annoyance at serving such a unrefined master because at the very least there were some benefits. It was nice getting to sleep in her bed and feel like a noble even if it did cause you some unease because you knew it would end at any moment.

"Yes dearest sunflower, I'm truly lucky I get to know your touch, you're truly a goddess. I'm lucky to be your humble servant." She was always quick to disrobe herself first, she couldn't strip her lady without your permission so you left her to just kneel on the floor in front of you, probably a bit cold. "My lady, may I pleasure you now?"

"As you wish." You laid down on her bed allowing her to do all the heavy lifting of getting you undressed and in position, you really enjoyed this part, getting to feel like a lazy noble woman who forces their servants to do things for them and doe absolutely nothing in return. She was also so desperate for you, part of you did hope she wouldn't be able to enjoy herself with whoever would replace you when you left, or at least not enjoy herself as much as she had with you. It would be a nice thought that would carry you through work for the rest of your life, that a noble was helpless at your feet.

"Thank you my lady, you deserve everything I can give you dearest sunflower, if I could give you all my wealth, I would." You sat up as she caressed your thigh making direct eye contact with you, sure she was acting normal but this did not sound like role play, the way she was talking as ash pressed her fingers inside you was frankly alarming. "So forgive me for this but I can't have the lady I love and serve leaving me." Her teeth grew in size before sinking into your thigh, it should have hurt but instead it felt orgasmic, you weren't even able to focus as she slit her wrist and fed you some of her blood.

"I can't wait to serve you for all eternity, rest now my dearest sunflower." You couldn't ask her what she meant before you passed out.

[southtopaz]

PSYCHO KILLER - SCREAM

Summary: in which Iris Morris has to navigate her personal relationships while surviving a psycho.

Warnings: Fem!reader, angst, mention of violence, swearing, mention of death, Amber freeman x Fem reader, Tara Carpenter x Fem reader, multiple parts.

Word count: +2,5k

A/n: the story will follow the events of Scream 5 and 6. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammatical mistake. Also I use Alycia Debnam Carey as Iris face claim but you all can use whoever you might like.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Iris slowly awoke to the sterile scent of antiseptic and the soft beep of a heart machine connected to her. Her eyes fluttered open to the harsh, fluorescent lights of the hospital room, and she winced at the dull ache that radiated through her body. The events of the attack were a hazy blur in her memory, overshadowed by the disorienting beeps and occasional footsteps outside her door. As she attempted to piece together the fragmented recollections, a wave of anxiety mingled with the relief of being alive, while the reality of her situation began to sink in.

Dewey. What happened to him?.

She tried to stand up but a soft hand stopped her from doing so. She didn't notice the presence of someone else in the room and now she could see her mom, looking down at her with tired eyes and a soft smile.

"Don't do that darling, you need to rest".

"I can't rest mom, is everyone okay?" Iris desperately questioned her mother, she needed someone to assure her that no one had died.

"Iris" the older woman sighed and that was enough for Iris to know her answer.

"Who?".

"Dewey and... sheriff Hicks along with your friend Wes". A somber mood settled over the room, marked by the collective burden of grief hanging in the air.

"Not Wes too". Iris silently started crying as her mom pulled her close to wrap her arms around her daughter in a warm hug. "When did this happen?"

"When you were here with Tara, before you guys got attacked".

"Shit, and he got Dewey too mom, we were there, I could've stopped him but I wasn't strong enough". She continued sobbing in her mom's shoulder as she recounted what happened in the elevator.

"It's not your fight Iris, you're 18, you're not supposed to fight a psychopath nor put your life in danger. You're supposed to be thinking about college". The older woman winced in deep remorse at her daughter's pain. "I need to get you out of here".

"No mom, I can't leave, I need to see this psycho behind the bars or even better dead. Someone needs to stop him".

"Yes someone that is not you". Her mother clenched her hands in fear. "I can't lose you too, not again".

The sorrow at her mother's voice made her stop and think. She had already lost her oldest daughter at the hands of Ghostface and now she could lose her second daughter in the same way. She couldn't do that to her.

"Okay mom, I'll leave".

Rachel took a deep breath and hugged her once again. "Sam is making Tara leave too, she told me a few moments ago, maybe you can leave with them. There is safety in numbers". She kissed her temple. "You can't tell anyone where you're going".

"Mom..."

"Not even Mindy and definitely not Amber".

"She's my girlfriend mom, I have to tell her if she won't see me again".

"You can't trust anyone, not even her". Rachel could see her daughter's indignation.

"Why don't you like her? You always seemed to have a problem with Amber".

"It's not that I don't like her Iris but maybe keep this to yourself alright?".

"Fine". After Iris agreed to her terms, she finally let herself relax. "I'll catch up to you later okay? I love you sweetheart".

Iris nodded, and after a few minutes, a doctor entered to check her vitals. He informed her that she could go home, as long as she took it easy and avoided any intense activity.

As Iris emerged from her hospital room with a slight limp in her walk due to her injured thigh, her gaze landed on Sam standing by a vending machine, whose face lit up with a mix of concern and relief. She took a deep breath, and walked towards her, wrapping her arms around Sam in a tight embrace.

"I'm glad you're okay Ris". Sam whispered softly as they let go of each other. "Did you mom tell you about my plan of leaving?".

"Yeah, do you have space for one more?".

"Always". They smiled and talked quietly to each other. Apparently Tara wasn't awake yet so Sam was yet to inform her about their change of plans.

In the waiting room, Gale Weathers sat with a frown, seemingly lost in her own thoughts. They didn't know whether to approach her or no but they thought it was only fair they at least gave their condolences to her in the name of the man who saved their lives. Gale remained seated with her hand covering her face, devoid of any expression.

"I'm sorry," she said tentatively, her voice quivering. "We didn't know him well, but he was there for us."

"It's what he did". Gale spoke through her sobs. "He helped people, I should've stopped him.

"If you had, my sister would be dead". Sam exclaimed before a nurse called her to inform her Tara was awake. She turned around and signaled Iris to come with her.

She started walking towards her before she stopped herself and looked at Gale. "I know it won't help but just know that he left like a hero, and we will always remember him in that way". Gale smiled softly at her words and Iris turned around and followed Sam.

They moved towards the hospital door to see Tara sitting up in the bed, already looking better than she had hours earlier.

She smiled when she saw them entering the room. The two of them sat on each side of the bed.

"How do you feel T?" Iris inquired the girl as she held her hand.

Tara smiled at the use of the old nickname and the hand holding. Maybe getting attacked by some freak wasn't that bad. "Everytime I get attacked they give me better painkillers, so I'm great".

"I can't believe they gave you drugs and all I get is a get well soon, I'm so fucking jealous". Iris playfully pointed out.

"I mean you do look like shit". Tara noticed a huge bruise on Iris's cheek and a little bandaid on her upper lip. She had to resist the urge to let her finger caress it. The drugs were insane.

"Rich coming from you, girlie got my leg broken like a pussy". Tara flipped her finger at her as they both shared a laugh.

"I'm sorry". Sam said suddenly after a moment of silence, looking at her little sister with a sad expression.

"For what?" Tara asked, sounding a bit surprised. "You saved my life". She took a glance at Iris and softly added. "You too".

"For not telling you sooner" Sam said, taking a deep breath. "For being the reason Dad left."

"You're not the reason Dad left". Tara said quietly. "You didn't choose where you came from or who you came from. I don't blame you for that". and then added in quiet voice, "But I do blame you for leaving me too".

"That's never gonna happen again". Sam promised as a couple of tears were flowing down her cheeks.

"I know." She whispered with her eyes watering as well. "But why didn't you come to me back then? I could've helped."

"Because... I was scared" Sam quietly admitted. Iris felt like she was intruding in a sisterly moment but both of them wanted her there so she just stood silently beside them.

"Of what?" Her sister was surprised at the admission.

"I was scared that I would turn out just like him, so I ran to protect you" then she added "From me".

"Sam you could never be like him"

Iris grabbed Sam's hand and gave it a little squeeze as she smiled at her. "Don't compare yourself to him, you saved us. Never forget that".

"You're so high right now" Sam grinned at her sister, turning her attention back to her.

"I'm so high right now" Tara laughed "I'm not even gonna lie".

"I love you"

"I love you too Sam".

"Not to kill the beautiful moment, love you guys but the fuck we're gonna do now?"

"What nobody ever does in these situation". Sam flickered her gaze from Iris to Tara. "We're gonna get the fuck out of Woodsboro".

"Gosh you're making me so happy right now Sam".

After a moment of peace in all this madness, Iris excused herself to step outside and make a call. She needed to tell Amber that she was leaving town. Her mother had specifically instructed her not to tell anyone, but Amber was different—she wasn't just anyone and she deserved to know, regardless of her mother's disapproval or the tension that lingered between them. Amber had already called her at least three times, and Iris had been unable to answer any of them, a gnawing guilt weighing on her.

"Baby, hi! I'm so glad I can finally talk to you," was the first thing Amber said, her voice a mix of relief and concern. "I tried calling you, but you wouldn't pick up. I even reached out to your mom, but she wasn't exactly friendly."

"Hi love, I'm sorry I just got my phone back and everything's been so crazy". A sigh escaped her lips. "Sorry about my mom, she's just worried".

"Yeah well it's not like she's my biggest fan anyway".

"That's not true Amber, don't say that".

"Whatever, so when can I see you? The hospital let you go right?". After Iris's confirmation, she spoke up again. "We are making a memorial for Wes today at my house, you should come. I can pick you up right now".

"Ambs, this is why I'm calling". She didn't know how to say it. "I'm leaving".

"What?"

"I'm leaving Woodsboro".

"No you're not".

"Love, don't make it harder than it already is".

"The fuck are you doing Iris? You can't leave, you are ruining everything. We are supposed to be together". Amber was fuming. "Who is making you do this? Your mom? Let me talk to her, I'll make her reason".

"Amber I don't like the way you're talking right now. It's my decision".

"I don't care, was her idea?". After a moment of silence. "Was it Tara's? Or Sam's?". The tone of her voice getting dark with something she didn't like.

"It doesn't matter, I called you to let you know but once I'm safe, I'll come back for you okay?".

"So what, you're not even going to say goodbye to me?" Amber's voice cracked with anguish, making it clear just how much this hurt her. Iris felt her eyes welling up with tears; this wasn't how she wanted things to unfold, but she knew it was the right choice.

"I'm sorry baby, I love you alright?"

"Who are you going with Iris? Tell me before ..." Iris hung up on her girlfriend. She let out a quiet sob for a moment, then took a deep breath to steady herself before heading back inside. She didn't want anyone to see her like this, vulnerable and fragile.

Once the doctor told Tara she could go, they all left the room alongside with Richie, who just came to visit and they were all ready to leave. The group made their way to the door when a woman called out to Sam.

"Samantha?". A woman with short dark hair and a brown leather jacket made their way towards them. She couldn't recognize her at first until she realized who she was and she widened her eyes in shook.

"Jesus that's Sidney Prescott" she whispered to Tara who just looked like she wanted nothing to do with all of this.

"It's Sam"

"I'm..."

"I know who you are".

Sidney took a deep breath and turned to Tara. "I hope you're okay". The girl just flashed her a tiny smile.

"Listen, I'm sorry..."

"You're Billy's daughter". The older woman cut her off before Sam could finish whatever she was going to say. Damn straight to business.

"We'll bring the car around" Richie motioned for Iris to follow her as she started pushing Tara's wheelchair. They helped her into the car and then they both got into it too. Richie pulled out to the front of the hospital as they waited for Sam to finish her conversation.

Iris turned to Tara and grinned at her. "Between us girlies, on a scale of 1 to 10 how hot Sidney Prescott is?".

"Really? Not the time Iris". Tara looked at her unamused.

"Oh come on, I definitely wouldn't mind some stabbing if she ends up saving me".

Tara just stared at her, a blank expression on her face, and Iris winced at the awkwardness. "Too soon? Sorry about that."

"Stupid". A silence stretched over them. "Definitely a ten".

"HA, fucking knew it".

They would have continue joking if they didn't hear Richie honking the car at Sam as it seemed she was in the middle of an argument with both Sidney and Gale.

"All right, let's get the fuck out of town,huh?" Richie said happily as they were finally about to leave this nightmare.

"Sorry, that's my boyfriend Richie". Sam apologized.

"Nice to meet... we met" Richie gestured with his hands. "Sam, please get in the car so we never have to see these people again".

"Remind me again, how is your sister dating this dude?" Iris whispered so Richie didn't hear them and in exchange she only got a slap in her arm telling her to shut up.

As Sam opened the door and entered the car, they heard Sidney calling out to her one more time.

"No, we're leaving. That's the only way I can protect Tara".

"Okay good luck". Sidney finally said with a defeated sigh, she knew there was nothing she could say to stop the younger girl from leaving.

"You too". Sam nodded at her. Iris, on the other hand, lowered her window so she could look at the woman. "Sidney, do me a favor? Kill this fucker for us".

A few minutes later, they drove past the Woodsboro exit sign, signaling that they were finally leaving this haunted town behind. Iris glanced over at Tara, who appeared to be frantically searching for something, her hands diving deep into her bag with a sense of urgency.

"What are you looking for?". Iris asked though received no answer.

"I left a message for mom, I told her where we're going". Not even Iris knew where the fuck they were going. "You good back there?".

"Fuck, where is it?" Tara turned the lights on as she kept looking. Sam and Iris looked at each other in confusion.

"Where is what?".

"My inhaler, I usually keep an extra one".

"Should we go back?". Sam turned to Richie in question.

"Whoa, okay, I vote for not going back to the murder hospital".

"God the worst thing just happened, I agree with Richie". Iris sighed in disappointment. "Maybe we can stop at a pharmacy?".

"I'd need a prescription". Fuck. "But I left an extra one at Amber's, her house is on the way".

"No no no" Richie complained to them.

"I'd be in and out". Tara reassured him.

"Do you think you could hold out till Modesto?" Sam asked.

"I don't think so," Iris said softly, pressing her hand onto Tara's shoulder and giving it a gentle rub.

"Okay what's the adress?"

"123 no fucking way lane". Richie snapped in annoyance.

"She needs it you dummie, I don't want to go to Amber's house either but we have no choice". Tara looked at her questiongly at that, she mouthed "explain later".

"Yeah and I need to keep all of the blood in my body and so do you". He looked at the girl from the mirror.

"Richie please". Tara begged

"Bro If you don't turn around, Ghostface will be the last of your problems".

Richie looked blankly at Iris once more and sighed in despair as Sam touched his shoulder trying to convince him. "Okay yeah fuck, what's the goddamn address?"

As they turned back around to come back to the city, Tara turned to Iris waiting for her to explain.

"Before we left the hospital, I called her, she said they were doing some kind of memorial for Wes and wanted me to go". Tara motioned at her to go on. "I said I couldn't cause I was leaving".

"She wanted to know where and I didn't tell her, my mom asked me not to. She said I couldn't leave just like that, then she wanted to know who I was going with and when I refused to tell her again, she got mad".

Iris glared intensely at her hands without blinking. "So I just hung up". Tara grimaced at that. "Yeah I know, asshole move but I panicked".

"She's going to kill you when she sees you". Tara tried to joke.

"Fuck I know".

[erstwhilesparrow]

A LIST OF IMMEDIATE POST-FINALE THOUGHTS:

i think because i'd heard the name "widow's alliance" floating around i assumed that cleo outlives bdubs? she really doesn't. -- (not my idea but) zombie trap flavoured as her revenge? very interesting!

did not anticipate caring about martyn + grian narrative foils as much as i did!! but here i am and i care about this so much!!

obsessed with how nearly every instance of [grian showing up in martyn's pov] is him talking to / about scar. that + martyn's editing choices re: desertduo makes grian SO. guy who exists to stand ominously nearby and mutter nervously and cackle from the top of the hill when his trap goes off!! guy who only really seems to exist in the desert and guy who has maybe been trapped in the desert but also guy who is turning away from your outstretched hand and leaning in the bars of his cage!!

shoutout to martyn's editing choices just in general honestly. very fond of them. many of them are goofy but he is so good at adding alarming music at the right moments

again. nothing. but rotating "leash / liege" because the autocaptions refused to believe that martyn was saying "liege". one of the people in this relationship is the dog and somehow it's not ren!! (okay. it is ren. but ALSO.)

a second piece of nothing: bigb and martyn fighting off some mobs together and martyn making a point of switching to fighting with his axe and not his sword -- says out loud it's to avoid hitting his ally in battle. We Should Do Symbolism About This.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ETHO AND BIGB WERE BOTH THERE TO THE END. WHAT THE HELL.

thinking about that one episode that starts with renchanting being all excited because they got a mending villager. (AND in one of the episodes after that, ren complaining that they've had no time to dedicate to infrastructure lately.) looking at limited life. THEY HAD NO IDEA HOW LITTLE TIME THEY HAD..... ;-;

related to the above: martyn is SO on edge for the whole season but it STILL manages to feel like he Doesn't Quite Get It until way later in the season. like. from almost the first moment he's on screen he's talking about tactics for the endgame but it's. also really obvious he doesn't know what the endgame looks like? so he's running around worrying about this and that and it still hits the "oh my god you have NO IDEA ;-;"

second related to the above: martyn is SO hypervigilant. constantly looking around when visitors arrive so he can keep as many people in his field of view at a time as possible. scrambling to be on the walls / roof of dogwarts. shuffling stuff around so he has water and cobwebs in his hotbar all the time. catches a single flash of a nametag and is immediately barrelling up the stairs to see who's there.

continuing from / connecting to that thought: very funny how FAST martyn throws his lot in with ren. like. i think it is the second episode MAYBE and martyn's already like "they hurt ren's feelings by enchanting without permission. they are all immediately on the shit list." and after that he continues to run off as if his life hasn't become irrevocably intertwined with this guy's. cf my other post about (among other things) martyn should be forced to confront that there is less forcing him to stay here than he is pretending there is!!

etho's giant walls of lava are so funny. his ender stasis chamber that he uses once and never again is so funny. his failed tnt cannon is so funny. etho is just the goofiest guy in a very [person who has one (1) Major Strength and is trying so hard to use it in a game that is mostly running around and yelling] way. audio warfare where he just put down a note block and a clock and left it outside the crastle to annoy them.

i can't read the post i'm referring to here because i haven't seen last life but shoutout to that post that's like "why don't we talk more about pre-limlife mean gills" because YEAH WHY DON'T WE TALK MORE ABOUT PRE-LIMLIFE MEAN GILLS. SCOTT AND MARTYN JUST KEEP. HAVING INTERACTIONS??? OH RED WINTER FLASHBACK THIS OH UNGUIDED HAND THAT MARTYN AND SCOTT HAVE A WHOLE NETHER ADVENTURE TOGETHER THIS ISN'T NOTHING!! --OH AND THE FUCKING PUFFERISH OF PEACE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PUFFERISH OF PEACE?????? [guy covered in red string meme]

didn't realize joel's wolves happened in this season! assumed it was a last life thing.

this is more about the ccs than anything but i'm so fond of ren calling scott "major" and this becoming a thing etho also calls him at least once. i think i have a personal weakness for people referring to each other by last names affectionately. granted they are not friends in the game but like. makes me feel sort of melty anyway. This Is Actually Nothing.

HEY WHAT'S UP DID WE KNOW THAT THIRD LIFE IS SO SO SO SO GOOD.

[loopdile]

what if during the loops loop started getting so Mentally Funky that after siffrin showed up, conversed and left they'd find a way to get Odile to come over and talk just for a change of pace

ooh fascinating... they usually try so hard to avoid the other party members but that just makes it all the more interesting to consider what could make them break that pattern! and i could see them choosing odile out of everyone, because she's the most aloof / least emotional, surely it wouldn't be as harrowing as trying to talk to like mirabelle.

maybe soon after a fight with siffrin and/or something that was extra upsetting for loop? like after they had to tell siffrin how to use the dagger -- they're mad at him for pushing, they're mad at themself for bringing it up, siffrin might be upset with them, and now loop keeps having to watch siffrin stab himself, and! loop got possessed! that's fucked up.

i could see them wanting to talk to someone. esp if it's been multiple hundreds of loops already. and loop's "thank god at least i'm not in the house" is wearing out into "at least i was doing something before, now i can't even do anything except make it worse".

luring odile over seems difficult when she's all the way in town, it would take a lot of active motivation to overcome that difficulty, but. maybe if siffrin has been in the loops long enough that they're starting to act a little strange even on day 1. maybe odile would come over to talk to isabeau about it? but isabeau already left to let siffrin do his thing with the favor tree. (but siffrin didn't talk to loop, he hasn't been talking to loop much at all lately.)

so odile's about to turn and go and loop is suddenly so desperate to not be alone, to experience anything different, that they call out "wait!" before they can stop themself. and then they're like fuck why did i do that. and odile's like hm? is someone there? and starts looking but loop is like "wait no don't come closer" bc they don't want her to see them they don't want to see her they're not supposed to be doing this this isn't in the script!! but it's too late to undo it entirely (they don't automatically rewind back like siffrin does, not anymore, not for this at least).

so odile does stop approaching. but she's not gonna just leave either, whoever called for her sounds upset, and she can't just leave a problem alone. even if it seems like it's going to be an emotional one that's outside her wheelhouse, she's not gonna leave. if only isabeau had still been there smh.

so she asks who's there and they don't answer, and she asks are you alright and they say "i'm fine" but it sure isn't believable. and she's down to give someone space, but. that first wait was so desperate.... so she asks "do you want me to leave?" and they don't answer that either.

so she stays. leaves real topics alone since they obviously don't want to talk about the who and why, she just starts complaining about the selection at the store instead. tells some stories about her companions. occasionally the mystery person even makes a comment!

and it's hard for loop, hearing about the party, but it's also. really really nice. to hear something about them that isn't from the fucking loops. a story they haven't seen or heard a thousand times in a row, something so old that it's new even though for odile it was within the last week.

eventually odile has to leave for dinner at the clocktower, which loop tries to be normal about but it's obvious they're unhappy. so she invites them to come with her but obviously they do NOT agree to that. she offers to see if another villager can come talk to them instead (she hopes maybe a villager would recognize their voice and be able to help more), but loop insists no they do no want to be around anyone else right now thank you. so odile shrugs and leaves, she's done what she can.

and loop is sooo sad because that was SO nice to just be kinda normal for a couple hours, but what are the chances siffrin will ever act just the right away again to make odile come over here :(

so THEN loop figures out a way to get odile to come to the favor tree ^^

loop doesn't do it every dormont loop, but more and more of them, they end up chatting. and it's less stressful after the first couple times, though it sucks that odile doesn't remember any of the previous chats. sometimes odile gets loop to vent a bit about this or that with her "just one thing" trick, and it does make loop feel better. and eventually loop even lets odile see them and odile is very fascinated, which is. not the worst possible reaction..? (the not recognizing doesn't hurt as much as in canon, because the re-introduction was more gradual, and it's not everyone at once, and it didn't happen right when loop was planning to come clean.)

and that's how one day siffrin walks in on odile feeling loop up (scientifically) under the favor tree, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[lej222]

Hlw! Would love to see your analysis on if jisu likes miae romantically or not. Hope u'll do that sometimes😊don't feel pressured tho it’s just my wish❤️

Sorry for the late reply, but here is a long post about my thoughts about Jisu's character arc, including spoilers from episode 147 (these are just my ramblings, my word is not gospel :D)

Does Jisu like Miae romantically?

Now, this is a hard question to answer. And I will try my best to break down what we know about him so far.

We only have two fragments of the time when Jisu and Miae were classmates. The first one is when Miae called out Jisu's bullies and she asked him the same question Jisu repeated years later to her (important!) about scolding the bullies. The other memory was Jisu's transfer to another elementary school. He was forced to write a letter and mentions how he liked Miae the most and the whole class, including Miae, cry their heart out. Jisu remembers how hard Miae sobbed and Miae can also recall someone telling her they liked her, but doesn't remember the boy's face or name.

Years later after moving around, Jisu ends up in the same school with her again in the spring semester in 1998. He is surprised, even more so when they become classmates in the following year, but doesn't care enough to interact with Miae. Coincidences keep happening - her pencil landing at his chair, they get sent out to the corridor, they become folk dance partners, he finds her name tag and uses it to avoid punishment, they get detention the same time. And Jisu still doesn't care about the whole situation, not until their actual detention week starts when he initiates conversation for the first time. This is when Jisu concludes their random encounters are fun and Miae is an interesting person. (Edit:: I'm rereading the story, and actually the turning point of their relationship is when Miae tries to save him from the teacher when they ruined the plant. It's possible Jisu doesn't let anyone close to himself and was intentionally petty towards Miae in the beginning until she decided to help him. We see that Jisu is greatly speechless in that scene and decides to flip over the plant. My best guess is that he might have realized Miae is still the same person as she was back then and she's still brave so Jisu becomes active for the first time for her and takes the blame. It is probably also the moment he concludes being around Miae is fun)

Based on these alone, I'm inclined to believe that even if Jisu loves her romantically at this point of the story, he's not aware of it. For him, being around Miae is exciting because she is fun. She doesn't remember him at all, but she's still the same person as she was years ago in elementary school so Jisu feels comfortable around her which didn't go unnoticed by their homeroom teacher or Jisu's mother. Miae probably doesn't understand why people keep emphasizing his unique personality and connect the dots, but we readers can easily assume Jisu was bullied because of his difference. And it is something he shares with Miae so he might feel like she understands him, or rather, she doesn't treat him differently because of it. It's a situation that can easily bloom into love with time, even if he's not there yet.

But why is Jisu is important in this story?

One thing I always see people complaining about is Jisu's plot relevance. However, it is a much more complex narrative choice than just a simple love triangle.

I have said this before, but memories and fate are intertwined in this story. There are just too many clues that support this. Miae doesn't remember Cheol at the beginning of the story, she even has trouble recalling his name. As the plot progresses and we see more of her memories, fate keeps throwing them together and they develop a friendship that turns into romantic love. In fact, it's a recurring point in the story that Miae keeps forgetting important things. Her dreams, things she must do, Jisu's entire presence in the past.

Which takes me to my next point, the unidentified higher power in the story. It's been always present, at first only giving small signs of its existence in the form of phone calls or changing the weather. Let's remember that lots of times Miae and Cheol had a moment it started raining (Miae's dream about Cheol, when he helped changing the light bulb, when they wanted to take a photo together). However, the unknown presence's voice gets more and more active as thes tory goes on. Not only it starts interacting with Miae in her dreams, she can also hear it in certain situations and wonders where it came from. In fact, when she is talking to Cheol's shoe in one of the very first chapters, she has a weird feeling for a second and we get a close up on the shoe. This supernatural (?) power has always been involved with Miae, but it starts to be more aggressive.

Not only it tells Miae that she's too late and it tried to warn her, in the newest chapter it floods every scene with car ads that are about changing one's car. So the mysterious entity clearly tries to intervene, giving chance encounters to Miae and Jisu while preventing Miae and Cheol's relationship (like how they cannot have a photo together).

Okay, so what does it mean?

It is something I obviously cannot answer as I'm not the writer.

BUT let's not forget that someone like Jisu in this story, who was shown to have exceptional cognitive skills (like knowing every person's name whom he's ever met, being first in the school and likely is on the spectrum), also has excellent memory. And what did I say about memories and fate? That they are seemingly intertwined! Jisu is writing his own fate, he appeared later in the story because he chose to not get involved until that point! He is the character who is aware of everything in the past and present. While Miae has trouble with her memories, and what do we see? Fate aggressively trying to steer her.

At the end of the day, we have two routes that are possible:

Miae is fated to be with Jisu, fate/the stone deity/the universe knows it and tries to warn Miae her time with Cheol is short so she shouldn't have any regrets. In this case, the story is about how Cheol and Miae helped each other in a certain period of their lives, but had different fates set in stone.

Miae was fated to be with Jisu, and the higher power knows it, but Miae will change her own fate to be with Cheol instead. In this case, in the remaining chapters we will see her fighting against her own destiny and win in the end.

At this point, I feel like I have to mention I've studied philosophy for quite a few years, and I highly doubt we can get a satisfactory explanation of any of these possibilities. But rather, it will be a simple:

even though we were not fated together, I cherished our time together

or love overcomes destiny itself

Other interesting idea

This is just for fun, but the comic Miae reads is a clear symbol of her relationship with Cheol. They have almost every cliche in the book (with sometimes a little twist) like troubled boy meeting childhood friend, becoming neighbours with their windows facing each other, accidentally seeing the other's body, falling on each other first kiss, etc. This is your typical 90s shoujo manga which makes sense because the story takes place in the 90s.

On the other hand, we have the chaotic meetings of Jisu and Miae who bond over trash, don't get the accidental kiss trope, etc. And whether it's meant to illustrate that they will only remain friends or it's meant to be a contrast to Miae and Cheol's comic book romance, I don't know. Depends on the ending the author wants to convey. I would be fine with either possibilities as long as Jisu won't be used as a plot device.

Plus, Miae&Jisu and Cheol&Miae parallel each other a lot. Just coming from the latest chapters, Miae has interacted with Jisu's mom, but not really Cheol's parents. Cheol has interacted with Miae's parents. Miae is bothered by Jisu. Cheol was bothered by her. Cheol saying the same thing Miae said to Jisu. These are all definitely intentional.

As usual, please don't take my words seriously, this is just all for fun.

Edit: there's one other interesting thing to consider:

Jisu is aware of the coincidences and thinks they are fun. He's been saying this for a while. Which means if there's indeed a higher power in the story, Jisu is accepting of fate.

Miae, on the other hand, willfully rejects her own fate. Let's say Miae and Cheol's meeting was bound to happen - it was also their destiny. She acknowledged those coincidences and even wondered how strange they were. So the higher power was content. But what if, according to their fate, their time together is indeed short? Because Miae rejects her coincidental meetings with Jisu, saying how she hopes she won't meet him again, only for the higher power to be more aggressive and take on an active voice. In the last chapter, she even kicked the flyer away about changing one's car, only for her to end up with a bubble gum in her hair so she was forced to get a haircut from Jisu's mother. Jisu's question last chapter is more than just him asking to play together - it's a chance for Miae to go into the direction the higher power wants her to be.

The real questions:

Is fate something one can overcome? Are certain things bound to happen and we can only decide how to deal with them emotionally? Is the narrator/higher power omnipotent and omniscient? Because if it is, can Miae still decide what's the best for her? These are the truly complicated questions that we cannot answer because there are no answers. So I'm excited to see what Soonkki will come up as the resolution.

[afirewiel]

I've been seeing a lot of discourse about Rose and Tentoo on my dash lately and I thought I'd add my two cents. I have never been a fan of that ending for Rose. "He's Ten but human! He has Ten's memories!" That argument would hold a lot more weight if it weren't for the fact that earlier in the same season there was a clone of Martha who had Martha's memories and yet acted completely differently than Martha, showing that she was in fact not Martha but her own person. In the "Almost People" arc in season 6, we get a copy of Eleven with his memories, who again acts unlike Eleven and is his own person. In one of the new specials, we get copies of Fourteen and Donna, who also have their memories but are not them. So this whole "memories are what make the person" argument in Tentoo's favor just falls flat.

He had Ten's memories and yet still committed genocide. An act Ten was enraged at him for. So clearly they are in disagreement here, so Ten's memories didn't seem to do him any good as he still chose to do something Ten did not approve of. And why would anyone, least of all the Doctor, leave the woman he loves with a man who had just committed genocide!? It makes no sense to me for him to do that. If anything, one would have thought the Doctor would want to keep Rose as far away from Tentoo as possible after that.

"You changed me. You made me better. Now you can change him." Excuse me, Doctor, but it is not Rose's job to change him! She doesn't owe it to you, to him, or to anyone else to make make him better. She made you better by influence, not because she actively went "I can fix him." And expecting her to, is just wrong and that is not the healthy basis for a relationship.

The biggest reason, however, that I don't like this ending is that Rose wasn't given a choice. Ten didn't let her choose between him and Tentoo. He didn't tell her that Tentoo was human and then asked her if she wanted to stay and live her life with Tentoo. Nope. He told she was going to. "But she kissed Tentoo!" Only because he was the one who told her how he felt about her. Ten purposefully avoided answering her. And even after she kissed Tentoo and realized that Tardis was leaving with Ten and Donna in tow, she chased after them and looked heartbroken when she realized they were gone. Even RTD and Billie Piper have said that the ending was a cope out and that Rose wasn't given a choice. That if she had been, she would have chosen to return to the Tardis with Ten and Donna.

Perhaps if we had gotten a spin-off show about Rose and Tentoo's life, I could have warmed up to this ending, but we didn't. Instead all we got was Ten losing her again (this time of his own choosing) and then immediately losing Donna afterward and him being all alone. So yeah, not a happy ending in my book. If you like it, that's fine. I for one just cannot.

[everythingwasnormalhere]

actually I've been thinking about it and kenny is so disability-coded???

like, even without my chronic pain headcanon, if we only take the canon material, he's incredibly disability-coded and im not sure why nobody's mentioned it before

Ok so, first thing first, south park isn't exactly known out of its community for having the best rep of... anything, actually, but anyone who's watched the show knows it has some of the best disability representation of any piece of media. Jimmy and Timmy, neither of their characters revolve around being disabled - they don't even make much fun of it! (It's south park, they have to make fun of everything). Their characters are complex, not because they're disabled, but because the writers didn't want to make them revolve around that. And if you don't believe me, please just watch the fucking show or at least their episodes (this is however not about them so I won't say much more about them, there's some pretty cool posts on this site that talk about this in more detail if you wanna read more though)

Now, onto Kenny: Kenny is a pretty cool guy. Fandom favorite, well-known even by people who don't watch south park. And besides how he's incredibly cute (like, c'mon, you heard his little "woohoo!"?), the reason why he's so famous is simple: He dies in every episode.

(well, not every ep in the latest seasons, but at the beginning he did and that's enough for me)

You might be thinking, "hey Loki, that's cool, but I have no fucking idea where this is going". And I'll tell you: his constant deaths actively avoid him doing stuff. Dying makes him spend less time with his friends, he can't take part in their shenanigans, he's generally unable to do things due to dying 24/7. Like, hell, he spent a whole season not hanging out with the guys because he was too dead for that! His friends substituted him, and he's still less-there since that happened.

This means: the impairment 'has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on their ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities'

(because he can't carry out normal day-to-day activities when he's, you know, fucking deceased)

Also, as Kenny himself says, "'Pretty cool'? Do you know how it feels like to be stabbed, to be shot, decapitated, torn apart, burned, run over? It's not 'pretty cool' Kyle! It fucking hurts!". His deaths cause him actual, physical pain. And guess what's a disability criteria?

You guessed: they have a 'physical or mental impairment'

(it "fucking hurts", I think that's physically impairing enough)

Also, his deaths have slowed down for the last few seasons, sure, but they still happen. And this is important, because they'll probably keep happening for the rest of his life - and if not, they've already lasted long enough anyway:

A 'substantial adverse effect' means more than just a minor impact on someone's life or how they can do certain things. This may fluctuate or change and may not happen all the time.'Long-term' means either:it will affect them or is likely to affect them for at least 12 months it's likely to last for the rest of their life It can still be considered long-term if the effects come and go. For example, a fluctuating condition might affect someone for a few months at a time with other times when they're not affected.

So, yeah. Kenny, canonical Kenneth McCormick, legally qualifies as disabled. But what makes him such good rep? He's still a well-loved character, not only in spite of his disability (yes, I'm calling his deaths a disability, sue me), but also because of it. Kenny is a pretty cool guy, he's cute, he's silly, he's a goddamn perv but really respectful about it too, and he dies in every episode which is actually hilarious. And about the perv part - fuck yeah, disabled character who not only isn't asexual, but is canonically the first in his friend group to do (consensual) sexual things! He's also canonically pretty desirable, he's the 7th in the List after all (and he's not just there for the girls' benefit like Clyde, Kenny is poor asf which means they genuinely find him desirable, and probably could've ended in the top 5 had it not been rigged). He's such a cool guy, and he's also disabled, and we love him for it.

Not to talk about Mysterion & PK, whose literal powers are the things that disable Typical Kenny - which, yeah, it's a bit of inspiration porn, but it's also a huge "fuck you" to god on Kenny's side. And it's not like "hey, I rose over my disability!", the moment in which Kenny talks (complains) most about it is actually when he's playing Mysterion - or it is in the show, at least. He was given bullshit, and yet he used it on his own benefit, but that didn't make the struggle disappear in his usual life - he's still disabled, no matter how much he uses it in his own favor. And we all love him for that.

I think he's actually awesome disability rep, mostly because he's accidental representation, and yet can (and in my opinion should) be read that way. Kenny McCormick is a beloved character everywhere, and he's also canonically disabled, and I love him for it.

[born-in-hell]

Ive been seeing lots of opinions on the QSMP admin situation here, after both Dapper and Pomme resigned and Quackity's statement, and i feel like some things should be said:

Firstly, yes, the abusive higher ups are to blame, immensely. But Quackity, as the CEO, is not free of responsibility. Not being involved, at all, with such an immense project, as the head of it all, is honestly so insane.

(I genuinely believed he didn't participate on the QSMP as a player because he worked so much behind the scenes, and it's unbelievable to me how he lied to us all.)

We must remember this is his project. With his name. He won awards and recognition worldwide because of it. He has so much to lose with all this situation. Money, reputation, friends.

Lets remember the admins have nothing to lose, at this point. They have no reason to cover things up or lie, unlike the Quackity Studios higher up team.

Now, about the statement he made last night.

The "legal reasons" — despite being a coherent explanation for not telling us, the audience, anything — arent an excuse for completely ghosting his employees. In fact, communicating actively with the people that work for him, could avoid him a lawsuit.

The leaks are not an excuse for not communicating w his employees. Keep in mind, Léa only came out because of the lack of communication. If Quackity had dealt with this stuff internally — as he should've done — Léa wouldn't have gone public in the first place.

Grouping all these people — the exploited and tired workers and the disappointed fans — into mere "haters" and saying they all just want the project to fail and to ruin Quackity's image is a really bad faith statement. Either he does not understand the situation (which is, imo, still really bad for him as the owner and CEO) or he just wants to discredit every and all criticism.

I can bet u every single admin in there put their heart and soul into the project. Their 2023 was defined by the project. They withstood way too much just so the project and Quackity's image would be protected, that's why we never heard about any of the exploitative conditions they worked under until Léa came out.

Most — if not all — of the admins signed up bc they love the QSMP, and wanted to help make it the best it could be.

But everyone has a limit. And this was theirs.

This might not be the end of the QSMP. But how will it hold up to what it was, without the eggs, the fun NPCs, the french, and Bad? I dont know.

About the Union:

Not emailing Quackity and waiting for him to contact them is certainly one of the decisions ever made. I don't quite understand the logic behind it, to be honest. It's not illegal, as far as i know, and i don't know how common that is, despite believing it's not very.

And i don't believe we should hold Quackity entirely responsible for not talking to them. Although, someone, like Aypierre, or Bad, or Antoine, or anyone else that has access to him and knows about the Union's involvement, must've told him.

Or not, we don't know.

And about the statement being public, i believe it was intentional. It's a public threat to him. They don't merely want to sue Quackity Studios, they want us, the fans, to know why they want to sue and that they are going to sue if they can't reach an agreement.

They are mobilizing the audience.

If that's a good move or not, judge it yourself.

I just believe not holding Quackity accountable for his decisions, as the owner of the company is wrong. And holding him accountable is not the same as hating the project.