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bciwasinlove · 4 years

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how would you analyize or interpret the song walls?cause i‘ve heard a lot of people say it‘s a break up song as it‘s written in past tense and basically saying he‘s stronger now after a break up (maybe even from a toxic relationship), he‘s risen above it and it doesn‘t really sound like a love song about an ongoing romance, does it?

Hi anon this is going to be a long one bc there is no quick answer to this so just know you asked for this.

First let's get one thing straight the ones who claim Walls [the album in general] is a break up album are the "Rads" short for Radical Louies. Essentially they are toxic louies who once were a larry shipper [not even a real larrie] but now hate Harry bc their mad Louis hasn't gotten the same promo and solo opportunities Harry has and some how in their eyes that's Harry's fault. They don't see it was Syco trying to sabotage Louis and in no way is Louis being sabotaged Harry's fault. Rads try to twist the truth and believe Harry left Louis for fame so since they hate Harry they have twisted the meaning of Walls to in their head a break up from a toxic relationship. They also really want LT2 to be a HUGE SHADE break up album which is 100% not the case so don't believe their crap.

Tho I heard you may have sent this same ask to others [who probably ignored you] so there is a chance you are a rad trying to find out what larries believe. Either way if you are a confused larrie or an undercover rad you probably need this info that no one else will bother giving you the time of day to tell you but I myself thought why not I'll answer you.

Second Louis and Harry have been happily in love for 10 years and have not officially broken up. Yes they have had issues like any couple does but it did not stem from eachother their issues stemed from them being forcibly closeted, the stunt gfs and their labels thus their songs are not break up songs but songs about not being able to be free and forced to fake date others when all they want is to publicly be with the one they love.

Now that that is out of the way here's why Walls is about Louis loving one person and one person only since he was 18. I'm doing the whole album [minus TOU] bc it is impossible to state why Walls the song is not a break up song without mentioning the others like Too Young [which rads also claim as a break up song] bc the album as a whole paints the whole picture.

Bree's analysis on Walls

Kill My Mind:

You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.

KMM is definitely the sexual song of Walls [not No Control type sexual but just we click right from the start sexual] It has the I just met you and we are figuring one another out vibe [both physically and just as people] and how right from the start Louis craves Harry and his attention. It has a similar vibe to Watermelon Sugar which Harry said is about the euphoria of falling in love and the way the other person makes you feel right from the start. Louis in KMM is saying I've just meet someone and they are now all I think about, crave and I don't know how I would be able to live without them.

Don't Let It Break Your Heart:

And I know you left apart of you in New York under your bed in a box, but your doing better.

Flashback to HS1 "Ever Since New York" seems like they both love to mention something happening in NY with their lover. We may never know what happened but it's always a funny coincidence when they mention the same places in their songs almost like their singing about the same situation.

Life gets hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it's not enough when the highs to high and the lows to low when you love somone and they let you go.

As I stated before their issues involved the stunts [fake dating women] so when Louis says love someone and they let you go he means when his lover gave into what they were being told to do for the sake of their careers. As young as they were when this all started it's hard not to think they may have fell for the lies being fed to them. So Harry let "Louis go" by being seeing with a ton of women gaining himself the brand of "lady's man" while also being forced to watch Louis be with someone else [Eleanor] and publicly act like that was the one he loved. Harry wrote the song Just a Little Bit of Your Heart which is a prime exactly of those feelings. Harry loves Louis so much but he only gets to love him privately while Eleanor gets to loves him publicly and as Harry wrote a little bit of your love is better then none.

Were driving down a one way road to something better. What hurts you is going to pass you'll be doing better.

This shows they know the pain all the bad things thrown their way won't stick around forever. They will overcome this and one day they will see the light at the end of the tunnel or the rainbow after the storm.

We Made It:

Cause we made it, Underestimated and always underrated. Now we're saying goodbye waving to the hard time yeah it's gonna be already.

Do I need to explain it I would say the title alone and this chorus makes it very clear. Break up who when where how? They had hard ships but NOT from their own doing. WMI is about how decpite all they were put through they made it. Flashback to Harry HS1 tour with Kacey in a rainbow dress at MSG in front of 36k people singing "[their/where] still together still going strong." They want you to know nothing will break them apart no matter how hard anyone tries. We are keeping the bad in the past and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about. Things we'd never say to someone else out loud.

This reminds me of their Xfactor days or early 1D tour days bc in 1D interviews it was always made clear they would share rooms and also how on the bus Louis bunk was filled with his junk so where did he sleep then? Also there are many former Xfactor contestants that have come out and said they were forced to be in the closet on the show. Flashback to an article claiming the people in charge of the 2010 Xfactor season tried to hide and keep a same sex couple apart wonder who that was? That line is about when they were young and the late nights they spent together wondering how their future was going to go. They were still just big smiles, wide eyed, oblivious young boys when they imagined only good things to come of the future with them and the band.

We were only kids just trying to work it out. Wonder what they'd say if they could see us now?/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.

We were only kids [when Louis fell in love with said person] and we're so young reminds me of Harry's song To Be So Lonely where he says "Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy." They both mention falling in love at a young age and both mention how after all this time they are still just as in love as back then but just a little less naive/oblivious. They are both hinting at a higher person [their label/management] who didn't approve of their love and telling them it wasn't going to work out. Harry going you can't be mad at me I was only a boy and Louis going wonder what would happen if they saw us now meaning look we didn't let you win. They tried so hard to separate Louis and Harry but it didn't work and Louis wants us and THEM especially to know they are still very much together, they handled it as best at they could and they weren't going to let them keep Louis and Harry apart.

Meet you at your uni, cheap drink, drink em all night

This is what we call a stunt line to push a narrative. Harry does stunt songs [Carolina and Cherry] while Louis does stunt lines. This line is suppose to allude to the album being for Eleanor [bc she went to Manchester Uni] but the rest of the album is so clearly not for her. If this song was about a break up from Harry then why would they bother adding in a stunt line about Eleanor when the public story is El and Louis are happily still together with Louis planning to marry her? Unless Walls isn't a break up album and it's very loudly Louis declaring him and Harry are still happily together and they wanted to try and force the image that Louis is happily in love with Eleanor. Also funny how this album is gender neutral and has no she pronouns in it unlike Zayn's new album having she pronouns.

Too Young:

We were to young to know we had everything. Too Young, I wish I could've seen it all along. I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no we were to young

This song is all about how when Harry was only 16 and he was 18 [Louis himself saying the song is about meeting the one at 18] he was to young to realize he had the best lover he was ever going to have, he had it all. As I said before issues in songs = management/stunts and this is Illuding to how Louis let them minupulate them and do what it was they wanted aka stunting and forcing Louis to be with Eleanor and Harry have a "lady's image" since he was only 16 and Louis now looking back and realizing he should have fought harder. Louis at the time didn't realize how much all this would hurt Harry having to share Louis [once again Just a Little Bit of Your Heart is Harry's feelings about that] and its once he's older he realizes what he did to hurt the only one who he ever truly loved and it pains him to know he put his lover through that even if it wasn't Louis fault Harry went through that.

I've been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I've ever known. Oh I can't believe I gave in to the pressure. When they said a love like this would never last. I didn't know no better now I realize yeah I realize.

So similar to before he's saying Harry is all he's ever known and him giving in to the pressure was about agreeing to fake date Eleanor and allow them to be heavily closeted. Reflecting back on those days he regrets so much what he agreed to do. They said a love like this wouldn't last is their management/label not agreeing with them being together and how two boys in a boyband marketed towards young women won't last, they won't sell records as an out gay couple with Louis believing their lies for a bit and he now regrets ever thinking they were right. This is a reflection song of not understanding what he had when he was so young but he sees it clearly now and he will never let THEM win he loves Harry and won't ever let him go ever.

Walls:

These high walls, they came up short now I stand taller then them all. These high walls never broke my soul and I watched them all come fallin down for you.

The high walls he refers to is all the assholes who tried to break him, break Harry and tried to ruin his career out of spite. This is towards the ones who told him they would never succeed being as they are a committed gay couple. Louis for a time believed them when they said their love wouldn't last, no one will want to listen to their music as a gay couple but eventually he realized they were wrong and those walls he had up filling him with doubt and insecurities were broken down. He allowed his "high walls" to come down because Harry was worth the effort it took to bring them down.

So this one is a thank you for what you did to me. Why is it that thank you's are often bittersweet? I just hope I see you one day and you say to me, Oh.

This is what one calls a metaphor he does not mean a physical person he means the walls he had up for a long time making him feel so insecure bc of how some of the people around him that made him feel so worthless crushing his spirt for so long. The metaphorical person he is thanking for helping him become the person he is today is the wall he broke down. The hardships he dealt with when he was younger got him to where he is today.

For every question why you were my because

Why am I still fighting?

Why have I not given up yet?

The because to his question is his lover HERE is where he directly refers to his lover. Harry is someone who is worth fighting for and will always be one of the reasons he hasn't stopped fighting. He loves Harry more then anything and will fight until the day he can publicly hold his hand, publicly post pictures of them together, publicly go on dates and publicly declare his love for him.

Habit:

You're the habit that I can't break, you're the feeling I can't put down, you're the shiver that I can't shake, you're the habit that I can't break, you're the high that I need right now.

Written over and over throughout the song these are some of the most important lines he wrote about Harry. It's Louis way of saying even if he wanted to, even if it would be easier for him and Harry he can never let him go. Harry's version of this is in Adore You when he sings "You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing and you don't have to say you're mine. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it's the only thing I'll ever do." Harry is saying even if publicly you can never say you love me I know you do and I will do anything for you because I am madly in love and could never let you go. They both would go through hell along side each other then being partially happy and the other not being by their side. Harry is the only one he ever wants to spend his life with and no matter what hardships they are put through there is no scenario where being without each other is a better alternative.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be but honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

The line of all lines he took time away bc he was tired of the facade of faking what makes him happy, faking loving some girl, faking being anything but himself. He's back now and knows without a doubt who he is and is proud of it. No more confusion, no more lies he loves a curly haired dimpled boy and no one will tell him he can't love him. Harry's version of this is the chorus of Lights Up "All the lights couldn't put out the dark, runnin' through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are. Do you know who you are? Shine step into the light, shine so bright sometimes, shine I'm not ever going back." They both tell you they have figured out whi they are and are very proud of who they have become and no one will tell them they can't be anything but themselves. They WILL scream it out loud and proud letting everyone know who they love one day [as if 16 and 18 year old H&L didn't already do that.]

And it's been ages, different stages come so far from Princess Park. I'll always need ya in front of me, in front of me

Oh the line that shocked every larrie I know. When he first sang this song and we first heard this line at a live concert everyone was shocked because we all knew what their was only one meaning to it. It was such a drastic line that the Elounors tried to claim he sang Starbuck [until the official lyrics came out.] Princess Park is the name of the apartment/flat complex all of the 1D boys lived in after the Xfactor BUT Niall, Liam and Zayn had their own apartment/flat while Louis and Harry shared one and they always made it very clear to everyone they met that they lived together.

So in a love song Louis sings about how him and his lover have come so far since their Princess Park days and his lover will always be the one he needs. Putting Harry's fav love song Sweet Creature plus Louis line about his lover together it would read " And, oh, we started two hearts in one home, come so far [since] princess park. I'll always need you in front of me. Wherever I go you bring me home" you do the math here. Their lyrics sink up just as much as their tattoos do.

Always You:

I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you and oh-oh-oh I should've known

The Amsterdam line one of those lines that can be fact checked and proven to not be for Eleanor. So Louis took Eleanor to Amsterdam for her birthday at a gay bar no less back in July/August of 2017. Then a week or two later wrote the song Always You leaking a snippet of it to us where the lines of him singing about how he went to Amsterdam without his lover and his lover was all he could think about were heard. If he went with Eleanor then clearly that isn't his lover but we know this. Fast forward 2020 Walls comes out and we FINALLY hear the full song of Always You.

Louis said he only put the song on the album because the fans wanted it but if it was just because of us and the song wasn't THAT important to him why did he leak those lines back in 2017 that could easily be fact checked that the lover he sings about isn't Eleanor? It's like he wanted us to know it's not for Eleanor this line is important. So the fact that almost 3 years later he still put the song out shows the song means a lot to him and even in 2020 the meaning of the song still resonates with him and how it will Always be THIS one person that means everything to him. Funny though how his loudest, easily fact checkable songs [to not be about Eleanor] are the ones he downplays the most about importance to him.

I went to Tokyo to let it go. Drink after drink, but I still felt alone I should've known

When it comes to this song the Amsterdam line is Louis speaking [because he went to Amsterdam without Harry] while the Tokyo line is Harry speaking [because Harry went to Tokyo without Louis] and after Harry came back from Tokyo, Japan Louis was seen wearing a ton of new clothes from Japanese clothing brands. This is both of them saying I may be in a wonderful new place but it's not the same without you here. They are sad and alone and would rather be with each other then traveling around the world.

I'm wastin' my time when it was always you, always you. Chasin' the high, but it was always you, always you

I think this is self explanatory he sees no reason to even think about being with someone else because he knows without a shadow of doubt [thinks he always knew deep down] it was always Harry. There was never going to be anyone else for him but Harry.

I went from LAX to Heathrow. Walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home cause you're not home. Waiting to wrap your legs around me

LA and London are their two main residences and places they tend to go back and forth a lot. When he "goes home" if Harry is not there Louis feels as though it doesn't really feel like home because home to Louis is wherever Harry is. They can travel all around the world, meet a ton of new people but no place and others will ever make them feel fully satisfied unless their lover is by their side.

Fearless:

Cashin your weekend treasures, for a suit and time a second wife. Now I'm not saying that you could have done better just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.

The first line is a nod to the industry itself and how to get your "weekend tresures" [be famous and earn a lot of money] you have to put up a fake facade, acting and looking the way they want you to because in their eyes if you are not the conventional person Hollywood wants they believe you will not make them the money they desire because we all know they only care about money nothing else. At a cost of the real them they must put on a fake smile, go out there sing doing nothing unconventional and they will get money and fame.

The second line yes they are happily together and Louis doesn't want or believe Harry will find someone else but he has seen Harry when all of this gets to be to much and when Harry puts up a facade of I've never had an issue with all of this Louis reminds him that I've seen you when your not fine, it's ok to not always be fine and I am here for you when things are not rainbows and sunshine.

Tell me do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people? Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you.

Refering back to Xfactor and early 1D days he's asking Harry if he remembers those days together back when they hadn't really gone through hardships yet and all the strength they had during their youth willing to take on the world together. He's asking him to bring that strength back and remember the younger version of himself. He's asking him to not give up because the younger him wouldn't want him to. It's been 10 years and they are still fighting, fighting as hard as they did when they were merely teenagers not knowing what lied ahead but wer happy as long as it meant they had each other in the end.

Now if happiness is always measured by the life we design, the car on the drive then you should feel better then ever but you know as well as I it's all lies.

This line speaks volumes as stated before with Fearless we have references to the industry and even just life in general. From the outside looking in they got money, fame, material things, they have it all and if deciding who is more happy in life was based on those things then they would win but Louis is telling Harry we both know that isn't the case. The industry isn't sunshine and rainbows, they treat people like shit and strip away everything about a person if they don't think their real self will sell. They only want to make a profit off them and don't care about how they feel about any of it. Everything is a lie the truth must be counseled.

Perfect Now:

You say to me your jeans don't fit, you don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss. I wish you could see my point of view as someone staring back at you.

This song is personally underrated to me I love this song. This song is so uplifting when you are feeling insecure and negative about yourself. Louis personally had a certain curly haired boy in mind when he wrote this. He's talking about Harry's insecurities with himself and Louis wishes Harry could see things from his view and how amazing and perfect Harry is to him.

Cause everybody is looking at you now. I guess some queens don't need a crown and I know why. Even when your tears are following now still someone, you're perfect now.

One of those it's definitely not for Eleanor moments. We all know [especially during fine line era] everyone was talking about Harry, knows his name and eyes turn to him when he walks in the room. Louis is so proud of Harry and is happy everyone else sees what he sees but Harry doesn't always see what others see in him and during those times where he is not already Louis is saying I will be right there with you. I am with you through the good and the bad because even when tears are running down his face Harry is still perfect to Louis.

Cause you're the only one when it's said and done. You make me feel like being someone good to you. Even at your worst you steal the scene.

No matter where life takes them, no matter how hard it gets Louis is reassuring Harry he will always be there by his side. At the end of it all when the final act is over and the curtain is closeting he will still be there because there will never be anyone else he wants to be next to at the end of all of this. Louis looks into Harry's eyes he watches all he does and is intrance wanting nothing more then being the one to be there when he is down and always being the who makes the pain go away even if for a moment.

Defenseless:

I hate to say, but I do we're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams. We walk up early morning and they're still under our sheets.

*Sigh* this is reality setting in things aren't perfect. In their line of work, being who they are, being a closeted gay couple things aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time. Most of the time they would rather ignore all the shit they are forced to indure but Louis realizes just ignoring it all won't make it go away he will wake up each morning next to Harry knowing those issues will always be around by neither fault of their own. He hopes one day they will get to be a happily open couple who posts pics online, goes out on public dates and gets to live the domestic life they always wanted but right now that just isn't their reality. Their reality is I can only look at you for more then 5 seconds or touch you when no one is around to notice.

Been up all night, all night running my lines but it's only the truth. Been up all night not sure how to say this right got so much to loose. / You just keep on building up your fences but I've been so defenseless.

Another metaphor here Louis wondering how to bring this up to Harry and not upset him. The last thing Louis ever wants is for him to be the reason Harry has a frown upon is wonderful face. Harry is more the one to bottle up and ignore the negative things while Louis is the more practical one and he knows he has a ton to loose [Harry and his love] if he doesn't go about this situation right.

No you don't have to keep on being strong for you and me acting like you feel no pain I know you do. And I can't get inside your head when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove.

Harry is the one who bottles up his pain, puts on the fake smiles, and makes everyone believe he is perfectly fine. He acts like he can handle what he is forced to indure 100% of the time but Louis sees through that and just wants him to open up more. He knows Harry feels just as much pain as he does and wishes he wouldn't hide it and pretend everything is always fine. Louis wants to be able to help Harry through the pain and to let know he will always be there for him no matter what so don't pretend your always fine just to make others around him, make Louis feel better.

I hope I'm not asking to much just wanna be loved by you. And I'm to tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you.

Louis is tired of pretending, wishes everyone understood, wishes what he is asking for wasn't to much. All he wants is to be loved by Harry and live the domestic life he always invisioned with Harry and no one else but his live is not that simple.

Only The Brave:

Pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history. I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. It's a church of burnt romances and I'm to far gone to pray. It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.

I'm sure you understand Louis is gay but if you didn't this line right here is all you need to understand that. No straight man is going to write or sing those lines. He's gone down a path of self discovery and figuring himself out he knows he is and he is to far gone to turn back now but he has no desire to even if he could turn back. He is proud of who he is and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell, like their ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tell tale and it's only hello, hello, no goodbyes.

It's only hello no goodbyes meaning the confusion, the is this for life between Louis and Harry questions are gone. They aren't turning back, they aren't saying goodbye, they are only saying hello to what lies ahead. The truth is clear, their story is clear, they fell for one another and Harry metaphorical speaking fell for Louis in a way where his star shines brighter then ever just by being with him.

Pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say, I told you so come on when you know you know. All the lonely shadows dancing from the cradle to the grave.

When you know you know they knew right from the start it's me and you until the end. Some won't agree but in the end that does not matter to Louis because he only cares about Harry being by his side. He will not apologize for falling in love he loves who he loves and that is it.

We Made It Directors Cut MV:

If the lyrics alone don't tell you the full story then the music video mini movie should. It sums up everything I explained. Louis being forced to do things he doesn't want, it effecting his relationship to the point their drowning [Harry in Falling MV] but manage to survive. Louis lover never speaking but the girl with ties to the evil one in charge does until eventually Louis breaks free from the man in charge controlling him and Louis finally gets to run away with his lover because he made sure they would make it in the end.

Ending:

Walls is about self discovery, learning to overcome your insecurities "breaking down your walls" no matter how hard it may be and Louis understanding he met the one at 18 and how Harry will always be worth fighting for, THEY will always be worth it bc they knew even as young as they were they were going to get married, have kids and grow old together. So you still want to tell me how any song on Walls is about a break up or Louis moving on from Harry because I certainly don't see it. Walls is Louis perspective on their 10 year relationship and his support and love towards Harry if you want Harry's perspective and his support and love toward Louis you would have to dive into HS and FL but that's a whole other analysis.

They have not given up on each other even if at times it would have been easier they didn't so I will never give up on them. They continue to fight I have been in this fandom supporting them for 10 years watching their continous fight and I will be here another 10 years supporting them if that is how long it takes for them to get the life they knew they wanted when they were only 16 and 18.

#larry is still together going strong #walls lyric analysis #walls is not a break up album #larry is and always will be real #louis #harry #larry stylinson

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hstyleshoney · 4 years

Text

Stay With Me - part two

AU friends with benefits but things get complicated, like they always do

word count: around 8.5 K // angst, alcohol consumption, language, hints of sexual content

A/N: Wooow, I’m honestly soooo overwhelmed from the response on part one!! like thank you all so much!!!! I’m very nervous to post part 2 because I struggled with this part a lot more and I’ve edited over and over and I just don’t know.. I’m terrible at endings so I hope no one gets disappointed!! You’ve all been so nice so I really hope and want you enjoy part two as well! Happy reading! And pls do let me know what you thought about it bc I’m even more nervous this time around. Please be nice hehe

Enjoy! <3

PART 1 ♡

She never replied to Harry’s messages and nothing else really happened after that. The next few weeks went by in a bit of a haze and she didn’t see Harry except for one time when she stopped by Tom’s place with Louisa to pick up Lou’s purse that she had accidentally left there. They didn’t speak. She could barely look at him where he sat in the red armchair but when their eyes met for just a split second the evening of him kissing Cleo came flashing back to her. It was uncomfortable for everyone there and they didn't stay longer than necessary.

Then they were all just busy with exams and final projects and before anyone knew it was Christmas. She was going back home to Norwich and Harry was heading back home to Manchester. It was a nice pause from all the drama. Most of her Christmas break was spent playing cluedo with her brothers, helping her mother out in the kitchen and running away from her younger cousins. It was nice. It was fun. It was relaxing.

She didn’t think about Harry.

Not until she was on the coach back to London and she realized how badly she wanted to tell him about her neighbour's new puppy and how badly she wanted to tell him about the shitty movie she had watched with her dad because she knew he’d probably enjoy it.

And she realized that she did in fact miss him.

Then she got annoyed again. Because everything was fine between them and he just had to go on a date. A date with stupid Cleo who was so stupidly perfect and nice it was impossible to hate her.

Louisa kept trying to persuade her to talk to him because; “he’ll never know how you feel unless you say anything.”

But what was the point of telling him about her feelings when he had Cleo? If everyone else could see she was head over heels in love with him then why couldn't he see it himself? Why couldn’t he see the mess she turned into any time he was around? She refused to talk to him. She had made a mess of herself enough as it was already.

Besides, she hadn’t heard from him either so he had clearly made his choice and she wasn’t it.

Once back in London and back in her house with Lou, Beth and Aliyah she kind of forgot about him again. The girls all told her about their breaks and it was familiar and so calming. She felt just as much at home with them as she did going home to her actual family.

And no one asked about Harry so that was just a bonus.

On Friday the whole gang decided to meet up down at their favorite pub and once again she spent hours in front of her mirror preparing to see Harry again and trying to think of what to say if he was to come up to her. She was nervous. Almost as nervous as she was on her first day of uni and Louisa spent 30 minutes trying to calm her down.

It didn’t work.

The pub was packed when they arrived and they all ran into people they knew from their courses and caught up swiftly with everyone as they made their way through, trying to find the boys. Jax was the first one to spot them and leapt up to give them all a hug, spilling beer all over the floor as he moved.

Harry wasn’t with them though.

Not yet.

Him and Isaac were on their way Tom told them and her stomach was in knots as she sat there. She was waiting for him and she hated it. It frustrated her that he still had that effect on her despite everything that had happened the past few weeks. She knew the rest of them could see how much she was fidgeting in her seat but no one mentioned anything or asked her about it and for that she was thankful. It was embarrassing how everyone else seemed to know how she felt; everyone except Harry that is.

After a while the nerves got the better of her and she excused herself from the table. She wasn’t sure where she was going or what she was going to do; she just knew she couldn’t sit around waiting for Harry to show up.

So she walked over to the bar and sat down on her own for a while to collect her thoughts.

Around her the pub was loud. Everyone was laughing and having a good time catching up with their friends, sharing stories from their time off. The spirits were high but she was as low as ever. Having learned her lesson from the last time she drank while upset she decided to just order a coke and sipped at it slowly as she watched the people around the bar.

Time passed and slowly she felt a little bit better; almost ready to face the boy with curly hair who made her heart beat twice as fast. But someone approached her at the bar before she had the chance to move.

“What’s a pretty little lady like you doing all alone on a night like this?”

It was a guy. He winked at her as looked up at him and she had to stop herself from wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re way too gorgeous to be sitting all alone,” he said and leant against the countertop with a small smirk. “Someone ought to keep you company.”

“I’m good thanks,” she replied and gave him a sarcastic smile.

“Aw, c’mon,” the guy continued. He was dressed in a white t-shirt that was way too tight for him and some gray jeans equally as tight; not a look she’d rate very high. He also smelled too much of what she guessed was his aftershave and he obviously had a few too many beers because even though he was standing a few feet away from her she could tell his breath stank from it. “I promise I’m great company. Let me buy you a drink.”

“I’m sure you are,” she told him and rolled her eyes at him. “But I’m fine on my own.”

“Sassy, I like it,” he said as he took a step closer to her. She frowned at him as he did. “If you let me buy you a drink I can assure you you’re gonna have the night of your life.”

“Like I said, I’m not interested.”

“C’mooon, it’ll be fun! Just one drink and I can show you-”

“She’s not interested.”

A warm, strong hand was suddenly on her waist and her whole body froze at his familiar touch.

The guy took a slight step back as he saw Harry behind her. He was standing close to her. His chest pressed into her side. It was almost too close and she was too scared to turn around and look at him. But she knew it was him. She’d never mistake that voice or that touch.

“And who are you?” the guy asked and crossed his arms across his chest and she was sure his t-shirt was about to burst at the seams from how tight it looked.

“Doesn’t matter,” Harry replied firmly, his fingers digging into her waist slightly as he spoke. “She’s not interested, so back off.”

“Look, I dunno who you think you are-”

“Mate, just fuck off,” Harry interrupted him, already fed up. His voice was loud across the bar and it captured the interest of a few bystanders who turned their heads to look at the three of them. She blushed as they did but Harry didn't move. He stayed close to her, hand firm on her waist. The guy in front of her muttered something under his breath before finally leaving.

Then it was just the two of them. “You okay?”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“It looked like he was bothering you so... “ Harry said awkwardly and moved so he was standing in the same spot the guy was in just moments ago. She still couldn’t find it in her to look at him and kept her gaze on the drink in front of her. For some reason she was annoyed and it was hard to pinpoint exactly what was triggering her but one thing was certain; her emotions were running wild. She hadn’t seen him for weeks and then there he was. Just like that.

“Yeah, well, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” he replied quickly and tilted his head to get a better look of her. “I just wanted to help. I care about you.”

“You care about me?” she scoffed. “Sure.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Hey,” he said and reached out to touch her arm. “Can you look at me?”

And she couldn’t. She really couldn’t. It was just too much. It felt like her head was about to explode from everything she was feeling. She was happy to be near him again. She was upset. She was angry. She was nervous.

And mostly she was so aware of his hand on her arm. It was burning almost.

“Why?” was all she managed to say.

“Because I’d quite like to look at you when I’m talking to you” he revealed and gently squeezed her arm. “You’ve been avoiding me. Why?”

It was at that moment something inside her shifted. She turned to look at him and pushed his hand off her simultaneously. Harry frowned.

“Are you being serious?” she hissed. She felt dizzy for a moment and all she wanted to do was to scream out in frustration. How could he be so dumb? How did everyone else figure out why she was upset besides him?

“I- yeah. Are you mad at me?”

She had to close her eyes for a second and took a deep breath to stop herself from losing it completely. All she wanted to do was to tell him that she was in fact mad. Fuming even. But there were people around the bar, around them, still watching and she did not want to give them more of a show than they already had. Harry kept his eyes on her though and didn't seem to care that they were in the middle of a full packed pub and she couldn't help but notice how tired he looked. He had dark circles under his eyes and his curls were dull and fell flat around his face and he also had a stubble longer than she had ever seen him with before.

And if she hadn't been so annoyed with him she would’ve worried something had happened and she certainly never would’ve said what she said next.

“Fuck you Harry.”

She didn’t stay around long enough though to find out how he reacted. Instead she turned her back to him and jumped off the barstol and marched right out of the pub without looking back. It was unclear exactly what had made her speak to him like that. It wasn’t like her to tell people to fuck themselves. Especially Harry.

It was far from what she had rehearsed in her mirror before they went out.

And it wasn’t until a strong hand grabbed her and she was face to face with him again that she realized he had followed her.

“What the fuck was that?”

She pulled her hand out of his grip and crossed her arms over her chest. It was colder outside than she remembered and in her hurry to leave the pub her coat and scarf was left behind. She felt stupid standing there infront of him only in her blouse and ripped jeans, but she couldn’t really think straight and all she wanted to do was to get away from him; which was a first.

Harry on the other hand didn’t look like he was freezing one bit in his much thicker jumper. Instead he looked quite irritated with her as well; which was also a first.

“What?” she snapped and Harry exhaled deeply.

“What’s going on with you?” He asked and she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. The logical part of her knew she was being dramatic but something inside her had sparked. Something she wasn’t used to feeling when it came to Harry but it was too late to stop it all from coming out now. The way he was acting so inconsiderate about everything that was going on, like he had no idea as to why she could possibly be upset with him, stirred an anger in her that she had held back for too long now. How could he not know by now?

“What’s wrong with me?” she snickered. “No Harry, what’s wrong with you?”

Harry’s eyes widened and he faltered slightly as he stood before her. It just made her blood boil even more; because he really had no idea why she was upset with him. A part of her wanted to march off again but another part of her remembered Louisa's words to just tell him how she felt.

So she stayed.

“Are you mad at me?” Harry asked again. This time he was more hesitant as he spoke, almost as if he didn't want to find out the answer. And now she didn't even try to stop herself and rolled her eyes at him. What a stupid question. He looked at her with careful eyes and had this been any other time she would’ve swooned over how perfectly the green in his eyes matched his lilac jumper. But now she was just too worked up to care. She didn’t even pay attention to the people going in and out of the pub who looked over at the two of them with curious eyes.

“Yes!” She practically screamed at him.

It wasn’t like her to behave like this; to argue and shout at someone. She felt stupid almost for how good it felt to finally say it outloud and to admit it not only to herself but to Harry as well. She was in fact, underneath all of the sadness, actually angry and it was nice to finally have an outlet for all her feelings. It had all been locked up inside her for too long now. Harry looked at her with narrowed eyes.

Perhaps she was being unreasonable; having an argument with him in the middle of the street, in front of a pub of all places, but she couldn’t help it. She’d most likely regret it in the morning, because she was usually avoided conflicts as much as she could since it gave her a lot of anxiety just thinking about it, but at that moment it felt too good to stop. It was liberating.

“Is this about Cleo?”

Her heart almost stopped beating then; hearing the name leave his lips made her completely lose her train of thought and suddenly, in just seconds, the sadness in her chest was so present again and the anger faltered for just a moment. It hurt to hear her name. Cleo. The girl who was everything she wasn’t. It took everything in her to stop herself from falling apart right there and then. Especially with the way he looked at her. His eyes pierced right through her soul.

But she couldn’t turn back now, so she took a breath to gather herself again.

“Yeah, it is,” she admitted.

Harry breathed in deeply and his jaw tightened as he looked up at the dark sky, collecting his own thoughts.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

She laughed and dragged a hand through her hair in frustration.

“What was I supposed to say Harry? Tell you to not go on a date!?”

“If that’s how you felt, then yeah, you should’ve,” he responded and his voice matched hers. Harsh and taut. It was obvious her attitude had sparked something in him as well now. “Instead of biting my head off.”

“Oh, well at least I’m not the one who literally jumped from one girl’s bed to another!” It was a low shot and she knew it. A small part of her regretted it straight away but an even bigger part of her felt relieved. Relieved to finally be able to put into words everything she had felt for weeks.

“Wow, really?” Harry replied and scowled. She nodded. “You told me it was okay.”

“Yeah well,” she started and had to take her eyes off him for a second. It was overwhelming confessing to him how she actually felt about him dating someone else. Overwhelming to see him so tense and worked up. Overwhelming having an actual argument with him. Everything she felt was overwhelming; but there really was no going back now. “I guess I lied.”

“You lied?”

“Yeah.”

“You should’ve told me that and I wouldn’t ha-”

“You wouldn’t what?” she cut him off. “You left me behind like I meant nothing Harry! How do you think that makes me feel? You obviously didn’t feel the same way about it so what was I supposed to do? You wanted to go on a date and I had no right to stop you, that’s fine, whatever, it is what it is. But you didn’t have to be a dick about it.”

“When was I a fucking dick about it?”

“You literally forgot I existed after you met her.”

“I never forgot about you. I’ve tried to talk you. You’re the one who didn’t want to see me when I came over!”

She raised her hand and pointed directly at him, ready to give him another piece of her mind. Her body was shaking with emotions while her chest tightened and cheeks flushed red in anger. Her tears were dangerously close to falling at any second and she opened her mouth to speak.

Only to have nothing come out; because he was right.

He had tried.

And she didn’t know how to respond to that.

She was at a loss for words and slowly the feeling of shame and regret washed over her. She felt stupid and the way Harry looked at her now made her want to disappear. Harry dating Cleo had affected her in more ways than she ever thought it would. It hurt. It hurt so much.

It did however not give her the right to behave like this and tell him to go fuck himself. They were always just friends.They were never even close to being exclusive. She had no excuses. He didn’t owe her anything. She was never his type. She always knew that. Harry was never truly hers.

And she was lucky, because in the very same moment her tears rolled down her cheeks the door to the pub opened.

It was Louisa; who very hesitantly stepped outside to join them, and as Harry looked over at their new company she used those few seconds to quickly wipe away the small tears before he could see she was crying.

“Is everything alright out here?” Louisa wondered and looked between the two of them slowly; as if she knew exactly what was happening.

“Actually-”

“Yeah, everything is fine!” She interrupted him quickly once more before he got the chance to say anything about it and flashed Louisa a fake smile which she knew Louisa saw right through. Harry turned his attention back to her, jaw clenched shut with a look in his eyes she couldn’t really figure out. “I’m just heading home. I don’t feel too well.”

“You left your coat,” Louisa said and gestured to the beige coat in her arms.

“Oh, did I? Silly me.” She tried to laugh it off but more tears were dangerously close to falling and all she wanted to do was to get away from Harry before they did.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Louisa asked and looked at her knowingly. All she could do was nod because she didn’t trust her own voice to carry her anymore. She was too close to breaking.

And just like that Louisa linked her arms beneath hers, whispered a soft goodbye to Harry and they were on their way back home. She on the other hand didn’t say a single thing as they left and kept her eyes on the ground. She didn’t dare to look at him and her tears spilled over the second her back was turned to him and she leaned into Louisa. Her body felt so heavy and with every step she took she worried she might just fall over from how much her heart ached.

It took them a little awhile to get home but once they did Louisa made her a cup of tea and they sat down together in the living room. She felt empty. Everything she had felt earlier; the nervousness, the anger, the frustration, the sadness... it was all gone now. There was just nothing.

Louisa tried to talk to her a few times, but quickly figured that it was better to just leave her be for the time being. They sat together though and watched whatever random show it was that was on the television in stillness. She couldn’t take anything in. Nothing was registering in her head. Her mind was blank, with one exception. Harry.

She had never intended to get in a fight with him. She couldn’t stop replaying the fight in her head. Everything she had told him was how she felt, there was no denying that, but she wished she could’ve said it a bit nicer and not been so hostile towards him. Because it didn’t help the situation. Nothing was going to get better by shouting at each other. It was just so pointless the whole thing. She had exploded and she wasn’t proud of it. It was far from how she had imagined seeing Harry again would go.

Sure there wasn’t a version in her head that ended up with him wanting her again but never did she think she’d end up storming off the way she had. She had at least hoped that she would be able to be in the same room as him again after tonight but now she wasn’t so sure she ever would be.

She was incredibly grateful Louisa had come out when she did and stopped the argument before it turned uglier. She never would’ve made it home without her help.

But there was one thing that did in fact alarm her about Louisa's disruption and that was the fact that Louisa was ready to leave the second she stepped outside.

Which could only mean one thing - they had all witnessed the fight from the inside.

The fact that all their friends had seen and knew that something had happened between the two of them was more embarrassing to her than all the strangers that had seen and passed them on the street. Their friends had all seen her lose control over her emotions and it made her incredibly uncomfortable knowing they had. She didn’t know how she would ever be able to face them all again without wanting to sink through the floor.

It didn’t take very long until she had to see two of them though. Beth and Aliyah came home barely an hour after her and Louisa. They didn’t say anything about the argument at first. They just got themselves a cup of tea and joined them on the sofa.

It was Beth who eventually broke the silence when the end credits of the show they were watching came on.

“How are you?” she asked.

She didn’t reply at first. There were no words good enough to describe how she was feeling and she wasn’t even sure exactly what she was feeling; so she stayed silent and kept her eyes on the television.

“You can talk to us, you know that right?” Louisa said softly. “We’re here for you.”

“Yeah, Harry is the one being a twat,” Aliyah chimed in.

“Aliyah” Beth groaned.

“What? It’s true!”

It was exactly at that moment she broke her silence and let out a laugh. A laugh that little by little turned into a sob. Her three friends were all quick to her side and embraced her in the best way they could.

And then she told them everything.

About how Harry had first ended up in her bed, how she first thought she had her feelings under control, how he always left jumpers out for her to wear in the morning, how much it hurt her when he told her about the date with Cleo, how much she had missed him during Christmas, how he had stepped in during her encounter with the guy at the bar, how she had told him to go fuck himself and everything else that was said between them before Louisa exited the pub.

“One thing I don’t understand is how Harry missed all of this,” Beth said when she was finished and handed her a new fresh tissue to wipe her tears away. “He’s always so observant about everything that's going on around him and considerate, like I just don’t get it. We all thought he liked you.”

“He’s a fuckboy in disguise, that’s why,” Aliyah fumed and got another dirty look from Beth. “Ugh, c’mon, he is. It’s a shitty thing to do to.”

“He did look quite miserable when he came back inside.”

“Has he even apologized?”

“I don’t blame him,” she spoke quietly and interrupted her two friends. “Cleo is gorgeous.”

“So are you.”

“Not like her,” she sighed and looked down at her hands.

After Harry had stayed over at her place for the first time she couldn’t believe a guy like him even wanted to be with a girl like her. She thought he was just being friendly before that because they were in the same group of friends. But every time she woke up next to him it became more and more real to her. Every time they went home together kept her daydreaming about a future she knew would never exist. She got addicted to his touch and a losing game of love.

Now she couldn’t help but feel like a fool for ever thinking he could be hers. She hurt herself more than anything for putting herself in that situation to begin with. Maybe if she had just stopped thinking about what it would’ve been like to introduce Harry to her mother she could’ve saved herself from this heartbreak.

Or maybe if she had listened to Louisa in the first place none of this would’ve happened and Harry would’ve just been a simple one-night stand. But she got lost in him as soon as she saw him even though she was nothing more than a friend to him.

She was simply put defenceless against him.

“Stop it. Anyone would be lucky to be with you. You’re amazing.”

“Yeah, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

Aliyah gasped.

“You should get back on Tinder!” she exclaimed excitedly with wide eyes. “Go on a date with some hottie and forget all about stupid Harold.”

“I don’t know if I’m really ready for that yet,” she replied sadly.

“That’s okay,” Louisa smiled. “There's no rush. You’ve got all the time in the world to meet someone.”

She tried to give her a weak smile in return but it was near impossible. She felt completely drained after the evening she’d had.

And yet when she crawled into bed later on she was wide awake. With every breath she took she felt her anxiety grow. She couldn’t relax. It was impossible to think about something else. Her mind kept wandering to Harry no matter how much she tried to stop it. Did he ever think of her? Had he ever imagined it was her when he was laying next to Cleo? Did he miss her? Or was she just someone to keep him company during the cold dark nights?

The girls had all told her the aching in her chest would get better but she didn’t want to wait for things to change. She wanted things to be like how they used to. She wanted her sheets to smell like him again. She wanted to feel him run his fingers down her back and have him curled up next to her. If anyone told her she could get anything she wanted in the world; her only answer would be him.

And then there was a soft gentle knock on her door that brought her back from the dark hole she was making for herself. Aliyah peaked in carefully.

“You asleep?”

“No. ”

“Can I come in?”

“Mhm” She nodded and Aliyah stepped in and closed the door behind her before coming over to her bed and sat down.

“Look, I kinda just wanted to apologize if I sounded harsh earlier. I didn’t mean to. It’s just…” Aliyah fidgeted with the ends of her sleeves and sighed. “I hate seeing my friends upset, you know? Especially over some stupid boy. I just want you to be happy because you deserve it more than most people I know and I’m sorry if I pushed the Tinder thing. I know I can come off as quite unsympathetic sometimes but I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I understand that it might be a bit too early. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think you’re unsympathetic Aliyah,” she told her and for the first time that evening she managed to crack a small genuine smile. “I’m really glad I have you in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you and I wish I could just put myself out there... I just don’t know how to.”

“You’ll figure it out eventually.”

“What if I don’t want to figure it out?”

“Well,” Aliyah started and scooted over to lay next to her. “No matter what happens or what you decide, you’ll always have us.”

Aliyah stayed in her room for the rest of the night and they talked about everything that didn’t involve Harry.

And with the help of her friend her mind got a small distraction and she eventually dozed off into a dreamworld where Harry had never gone on a date and still made her breakfast in the morning.

A week later she got tired of being so exhausted from going to sleep with such a heavy heart and decided it was time to stop feeling so sorry for herself. She had spent most of her week at home studying, throwing herself into her books more than ever before. She only left her house to go to her lectures and decided to not join the others down at the pub for quiz night.

She didn’t want to risk running into Harry.

However when her roommates came back home they told her Harry hadn’t showed up either and she could only think of one reason he hadn’t; he was with Cleo.

So with the help from her friends she set up a new profile on Tinder and started swiping. If he could move on then so could she. They spent the whole night reading and going through different guys profiles, swiping left and right. When her phone notified her later that she had a new message she threw her phone at Aliyah in panic who took over and stepped in without hesitation.

And that was how she ended up on a date.

His name was James.

She nearly had a nervous breakdown while she waited for him to show up; only for him to walk in looking like a model fresh off the runway. Her jaw almost dropped and she was a sweaty mess when he approached her and kissed her on her cheek. He was handsome. Almost too handsome; and he knew it.

But he was nice.

He was actually very nice, and polite. They had lots of things in common and there was never an awkward moment of silence between them. They talked all night about everything from what their favorite film was to silly stories about their childhood. She told him about how her brothers used to cover her in bubble wrap and use her as a human punch bag and how they were always punished for the mischief she got up to because their parents thought she was just too innocent and pure. Perks of being the youngest child and only girl she used to call it. She made him laugh and she felt proud. Confident even. He also made her laugh. He made her blush and he made her feel comfortable. The date was nice and it was exactly what she needed after everything that had happened.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with James. He didn’t have a single flaw.

... he just wasn’t Harry.

No matter how badly she wanted to like James her heart wouldn’t let her.

On the bus back home she felt guilty because James was such a nice guy and she had spent their whole date thinking about someone else. Harry was still so present in her heart and mind. She had compared the two of them all night. She couldn’t help herself. James didn’t have a single tattoo. He had shorter hair. It wasn’t curly. Not even wavy. He had a beard. Bright blue eyes. A different parfyme. A different accent. He didn’t wear any rings.

And all of it just made her realize how badly she wished it had been Harry. It was frustrating how easy he had just replaced her with Cleo while she couldn’t even go on one date with a perfectly good boy like James without thinking about his pretty curls and beautiful green eyes.

She was completely head over heels for Harry.

She sighed and leaned her head against the window of the bus and watched the small drops of water run down the glass. There was a light drizzle outside and it matched her mood quite nicely she thought and chuckled. Her life was just a big stupid cliche. If only she hadn’t been so scared from the start. If only she hadn’t suppressed her feelings for him for so long. If only she could’ve admitted how she felt earlier. Then maybe none of this would've happened. Maybe she would’ve had a chance.

She missed him.

That was the worst part. She missed being close to him; missed feeling his skin on hers.

But most of all she missed just talking to him.

Now they hadn’t spoken in months, except for the fight and she didn’t want to count that because it made her sick just thinking about it. The fight had made things worse and it was so stupid. If it wasn’t for the fight and the fact that she had a habit of avoiding her problems when it became too much they could’ve talked things through and at least had a chance to keep their original friendship. It would’ve hurt seeing him with Cleo but she was starting to feel like it was a lot worse not having him in her life at all.

And maybe it was the three pints of beer she had consumed during her date or the fact that James had made her feel a bit confident or maybe it was just the simple fact that she missed Harry that made her decide to go face her problems.

So instead of getting off the bus at her usual stop she waited three more before getting off.

And she ended up outside Harry’s building.

It wasn’t until after she had knocked on his door that she realized what a terrible idea this probably was. She didn’t even know if he was home. What if Cleo was there? What was she even supposed to say? She had no idea. Harry might not even want to see her.

Her head was spinning but it was nothing compared to how she felt when the door opened and Harry was standing in front of her.

“Hi” she breathed out. Harry’s eyes widened in surprise as he saw her.

“Hey?” he replied and she felt a little bit awkward standing there as he stared at her with a puzzled look across his face.

“Um, is this a bad time?” She felt light-headed and her heart was beating so hard inside her chest it almost hurt. She was scared; because if he shut her out now she might just pass out on the floor right in front of him.

“No, no of course not,” he answered quickly and ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to flatten the wild curls on his head. He stepped a little to the side. “Do you wanna come inside?”

“Sure,” she nodded in relief. A tiny bit of hope sparked in her as he invited her inside; hope of what exactly she didn’t know but at least he hadn’t slammed the door in her face and that was always something. She followed him and felt her knees weaken as his familiar scent washed over her.

Isaac sat on the sofa and looked over at her in surprise as they passed. She nodded a shy ‘hello’ towards him and he greeted her back with a small wave. It wasn’t as hard as she had imagined it to be to see Isaac again after everything and it made her somewhat relaxed for what was to come.

Harry led her to his bedroom to get some privacy and she just couldn’t stop looking at him. She had spent all night wishing James was Harry and now here she was; standing right infront of him. He looked just as perfect as he always did. It took all of her willpower to stop herself from throwing herself over him. She wanted to feel his arms around her more than anything but she couldn’t and she had to stop imaging it because she was only making it harder for herself.

“What are you doing here?” He was the first one to break the silence. Her first instinct was to make up some story about how she was just randomly in the neighbourhood and lie about her reasons for knocking on his door so late. But lying wouldn’t make anything better and she had, for probably the first time ever, pushed herself to go face her troubles instead of going the other way.

She had simply come too far to lie now.

“I eh... ” she swallowed the big lump in her throat and took another deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “I came to apologize for how I behaved the other weekend.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Harry said softly.

“I want to,” she insisted. They were both still standing, neither of them taking their eyes off the other. It was awkward and she had no idea what to say next. She hadn’t really thought it through. All she knew was that she didn’t want this to end in tears. She didn’t want to shout and storm off. She wanted closure.

Harry nodded slowly and waited for her to continue. He had the yellow jumper on. The one she had borrowed so many times before. It made her heart skip a beat. “It was unnecessary of me. It was just hard to come to terms with everything I suppose. I don’t know... It felt like you kinda just forgot about me.”

“I didn’t,” Harry assured her and took a step forward to come closer to her but stopped himself before he could reach her, uncertainty written all across his face. “I could never forget about you. I’m really sorry I made you feel like I did.”

“Do you like her?”

“What?”

“Cleo. Do you like her?”

Harry didn’t say anything. He just looked at her, taking in every inch of her and she felt her blood rush to her cheeks. Time was frozen and it was so quiet between the two of them. She could hear cars passing by on the street below them and how the light drizzle had shifted and was now pouring down. It was hard to breathe with him right there because she couldn't figure out whether he was happy to see her again or not.

And when Harry still didn’t say anything the panic inside her started rising and she felt like the biggest idiot in London for even asking such a thing. “I mean,” she started and had to clear her throat before continuing. Her voice was shaky as she spoke and she didn’t know where to look; because looking at Harry just wasn’t an option anymore. He made her too anxious. What a stupid idea. “I totally understand if you do. She’s obviously so beautiful and you two look really good together and like I always knew you didn’t like me in that way and that’s okay, because I’m not like Cleo. I know that she’s prettier than me. I just miss you, and us. I don’t know. This is weird I shouldn’t have come I’m sorry I should g-”

She never got the chance to finish her nervous rambling.

Because within a matter of seconds Harry had moved from where he was standing, cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers. It all happened so fast her mind didn’t get the chance to understand what had happened at first. She just stood there in shock.

But as she realized Harry was indeed kissing her she melted right into him. His lips were warm and rough against hers. Everything else faded away the second their lips met. She didn’t have time to think about whether she should even be kissing him or not. It just felt so familiar she could cry. Her hands quickly found his hips and pulled him even closer, wanting him as close to her as physically possible. Kissing Harry again was so arousing and she needed it. She needed all of it.

It started out as a small and innocent kiss but when neither of them made an attempt to pull away from each other it deepened. His lips moved with hers with eagerness and she couldn’t get enough. She wanted all of him and despite having kissed him many times before it was like nothing she had ever experienced. She had spent weeks dreaming about kissing him again but it was nothing compared to the real thing; to actually be kissing him again.

Harry pulled back for a second to breath but she pulled him back in just as fast. He laughed lightly as she did but she didn’t care if she came off as desperate. She was. She couldn’t get enough of him. Lust had taken over her completely.

Harry’s fingers slipped through her hair and he deepened the kiss further, and her stomach fluttered when he swiped his tongue across her lower lip. She inhaled sharply as their tongues met. Her whole body was on fire. Harry groaned into her mouth and moved his hand down to her hips. He had a tight grip on her as he pushed her backwards towards his bed.

She fell back and landed on the bed with a gasp. Harry stood before her breathing heavily. His lips damp and begging to be kissed again. She reached out to pull him down to join her, already missing his touch, but he stopped her.

“Are you okay with this?” he panted and looked down at her with concerned eyes. The tension around the room was high and hot. She couldn’t really think. She could hardly breathe. Everything felt like a dream. It was hard to grasp what was actually going on and how they had gotten to this point, but she was okay.

“Yeah,” she whispered and extended her hand towards him. Both of them were breathing heavily while staring at each other. Nothing else mattered in that moment. She forgot about everything that had happened as she tugged at his arm, wanting him to join her. “I just want you to stay with me” she whispered and it was the most vulnerable she had ever felt.

His body was warm on top of hers as he joined her on the bed. He gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face and leaned down and placed a light kiss on her cheek. Then her other cheek. A kiss on her forehead. On her nose. Her jaw. Her neck.

Before he reached her lips he pushed himself up and looked down at her.

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed.

Then he reconnected their lips.

She sighed happily into him and let her hands explore his body. He kissed her gently and slowly, but she didn’t want him to be gentle, not now; not after missing his touch for so long. She rolled her hips against his and he groaned again. She felt high. Every touch from him gave her goosebumps. It had been too long.

Her fingers finally found their way in under his jumper and Harry’s kisses became more urgent and hot. His skin was so smooth under her fingertips and it was almost intimidating touching him again, yet it felt so right.

It was Harry’s top that came off first.

Then hers.

And then they were naked; moving together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Skin to skin. Pressed tightly together. His hair tickled the side of her face as he moved over her and she left kisses anywhere she could reach. Desperate to feel all of him. A low moan came from him as she raised her hips to meet his.

And when her body later exploded in pleasure he held her close while she buried her face into his neck to muffle her cries.

They laid in silence after that. She rested her head on his bare chest as he stroked her back lightly. He pressed a lingering kiss on the top of her head and she didn’t really know what to say next. She had gone there hoping that they could move past everything and at least be friends. She never expected them to sleep together and now she didn't really know what to think of it.

Regret was slowly building up inside her because what if it didn’t mean anything to him? What if he still wanted Cleo? Maybe he still just saw her as a friend and just slept with her because he felt sorry for her.

But laying in Harry’s arms again felt like a dream and if it was the last time she got to do so she didn’t want to ruin it. She didn’t want to risk them arguing again; didn’t want him to tell her it was all a mistake. Not yet.

Instead she kept quiet, despite being even more confused about their situation than before. She was just too scared of what his answer to everything might be.

So she laid awake all night trying to come up with what to say to him once they woke up the next day and had yet another sleepless night, even with Harry right next to her.

Harry was gone when she woke up and her heart sunk a little when she noticed. She had managed to eventually get a few hours of sleep but she felt far from well rested, and it was disheartening to wake up and not find Harry next to her. She’s not sure what she expected. She had woken up alone in his bed many times before. Harry was an early riser and she just wasn’t. But now it just made the regret in her grow. She should’ve just gone home. It felt more and more like a mistake for every minute she stayed in his bed, and it was hard to find the motivation to get up and face reality.

His yellow jumper was folded and sat neatly at the end of the bed, almost like it was waiting for her. She couldn’t stop staring at it. She wanted to put it on more than anything and feel the soft fabric on her skin again; relish in his scent. It was so tempting, but she couldn’t. It didn’t feel appropriate.

She forced herself out of his bed and took a deep breath, trying to remember what her mom had taught her about mindfulness. She really should’ve read more of the books she had been given.

Her own clothes felt cold and stiff when she put them on. The warmth of the yellow jumper taunted her from it was sat and she tried to ignore the thought of just putting it on for a second.

Just breathe.

Harry was sat on the sofa when she found the courage to leave the safety of his bedroom. The flat was quiet and if she hadn’t seen him as soon as she stepped out she would’ve worried she was all alone. She tried to see if Isaac was anywhere near but couldn’t see him. It was just Harry, and he was too invested in the book he had in his lap to notice that she was approaching him.

It wasn’t until she sat down in the armchair opposite him that he realized she had actually gotten up and joined him.

“Oh, good morning,” Harry said and sat up a little straighter as soon as he saw her. He brushed off a few crumbs that was stuck on the front of his hoodie from breakfast in an attempt to look more presentable and put his book away.

A heavy silence settled over them almost straight away.

“Morning,” she replied quietly; wanting the awkwardness between the two of them to fade away. She nervously tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and tried to ignore the nausea that clawed at her throat.

“Did you sleep well?” Harry asked and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He couldn’t really look at her as he spoke and it didn’t help her feel better about the situation.

“Not really,” she admitted. Harry frowned a little and her stomach was in knots as they just sat there. It was their first morning together that was so awkward, not even their first morning together had been this uncomfortable. It didn’t feel right.

“Can I get you anything? Tea?”

“No, thank you.”

They both knew they needed to talk. The tension in the room said it all. It was obvious. She just didn’t know where to start and she was still too afraid to learn about the reasons he kissed her. He could’ve just kissed her because he wanted their old arrangement again. Friends with benefits. Maybe that was all she was to him.

Her heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

Then out of nowhere she remembered Cleo. Harry was with Cleo. She had forgotten all about the stunning girl with perfekt skin as Harry kissed her last night. It made her feel sick now, sick and dirty. She also felt a little angry again because it wasn’t fair of Harry to kiss her and sleep with her when he had Cleo. “You never answered my question last night,” she said flatly.

“Huh?”

“You never answered my question,” she said again and this time she looked right into his eyes as she spoke. The confident that made her come over in first place sparked a little inside her again. She didn’t want Harry to be with her if he had someone else. It wasn’t the type of relationship she wanted with him.“Do you like Cleo?”

Harry looked up and met her eyes after that and she held her breath waiting for his answer. She didn’t know what she would to do if he said yes.

Harry took a deep breath and licked his lips.

“No. I don’t.” His eyes never left hers. “I haven’t seen her since before Christmas.”

“Oh.”

She could feel her heart in her throat. He hadn’t seen Cleo since before Christmas. That meant he wasn’t seeing her when they fought which also meant this mess could’ve been sorted weeks ago if she hadn’t lost her control. How fucking stupid. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me. You seemed like you wanted some space, wasn't gonna force you to.” Harry was calm as he explained. His voice was still a little raspy from sleep and he looked so warm and soft were he sat opposite her in his hoodie and matching sweatpants. Her head was spinning.

There were so many things she wanted to bring up and now when she kew that he wasn’t with Cleo anymore everything changed. Harry didn’t have anyone and he had kissed her last night; he had done more things than just kiss her and it was scary to think that maybe he had just done it because he was lonely and wanted some company. Maybe he had just been with her because he wanted to continue their friends with benefits thing until he found a new Cleo.

Maybe he would leave her again.

And it was scary to think about losing him to someone else. She couldn’t go through that again.“I heard you went on a date yesterday,” Harry acknowledged and cleared his throat to get her attention. It snapped her out of her thoughts. “How was it?”

“It was good,” she confessed.

Harry’s jaw tightened and he nodded slowly, a sour expression on his face, and she was a little taken aback by it. Was he jealous? It was something she had never thought about before; Harry being jealous about her dating someone else.

She couldn’t help but feel a little pleased at how he reacted hearing about her date as he took a deep long breath through his nose. It was about time he got to hear about her dates rather than the other way around. But she also decided to not leave out the most important thing. “He wasn’t for me though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed and watched as Harry struggled to hold back a smile. It made her heart flutter and for once she didn’t feel so insecure about the situation she was in. “So, how come you broke things off with Cleo?”

She was still nervous though. The knots in her stomach were still there, along with a bunch of butterflies, and her fingers ached to reach out and touch him. It was close to impossible to not think ahead at this point but she tried her best, because she didn’t want to be left disappointed.

“She wasn’t for me,” he said. His eyes twinkled as he spoke and she noticed him shift in his seat again. This time she was the one who could’t hold back her smile.

Silence fell between them again but it was nowhere near as tense and uncomfortable as before. She knew her cheeks were flushed; she felt hot and light-headed. All she really wanted to do was scream out that she wanted him to be hers. She was tired of dancing around the subject and she wanted, needed, to know if he wanted her too. “I never should’ve dated Cleo,” Harry said and swallowed hard. She sat on the edge of her seat. “It was stupid, and the fact that you thought I forgot about you kills me. I could never forget about you. You’re too special to be forgotten"

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why was it stupid to date Cleo?”

“Doesn’t really seem fair to her when I’m in love with someone else.”

“Who?”

She had to ask. Her whole body trembled in anticipation and she was terrified despite having no real reason to be anymore. At least she hoped she didn’t. She didn’t want to be wrong.

“It’s you.”

And that was all it took for her to literally jump to her feet and throw herself over him. She accidentally knocked her nose into his going in for a kiss and it was sloppy and it was clumsy but she didn’t care. Not even a little. Neither did Harry.

Because at that moment nothing else mattered. Harry was in love with her. He wasn’t with Cleo; she wasn’t for him. He had told her so himself.

He was hers.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry #harry styles #harry styles concept #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #hs #writing #harry fic #Harry Styles fic #stay with me #SWM

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aizawa-needs-coffee · 3 years

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Hi!! Could I have a matchup please? I'm 18, pronouns she/her, I'm fine w any gender though I have a preference for males

If its of any relevance, physically I'm about 5'8 tall and on the chubby side, green eyes, brown hair (with blonde streaks) and I wear glasses

If you're into astrology/ mbti, I am a Sagittarius w both moon and rising in Cancer and I'm INFP

So I'm quite emotional lol. Usually very in touch with my emotions and quite perceptive of other's feelings as well. I have a huge saviours complex especially when it comes to feelings (i love helping others figure out their feelings, being a shoulder to cry on or even offering comforting hugs) but I try my best to keep it control cause I don't wanna be suffocating

On the outside I'd say I'm fairly organized, I keep my room clean and all of that, I'm a lil bit of a perfectionist but mentally I'm all over the place. I tend to get carried away by thoughts and emotions and end up procrastinating a lot; anxiety makes it all worse. In short, I suck at time management

To most people I may seem quiet and reserved but I actually really enjoy talking to people; I'm really insecure about not being funny or interesting enough tho. Around my friends I'm more relaxed but still have moments of self doubt

I can also be quite obsessive. If something really catches my interest I won't stop until I search all there is to know about it. For example I watched bnha, read the manga, the spin offs etc all in less than a month and now I'm indulging in fanart and fanfics because I need m o r e c o n t e n t hsbsb. I'm also that kind of person that listens to a new song they like on repeat until they hate it. Speaking of music, I can't say I have a taste lol. My fave genres are rock, pop and indie but I hear smth I like, I listen to it, whether its "high quality" music, basic or weird. Lately I've been listening to a lot of epicore which is literally the type of music thats used in fantasy and sci fi movies askfkdk

I like expressing myself through writing, singing and dancing but I really can't say I'm talented at either of those, it's all in good fun. I also enjoy reading (fiction, non-fic books bore me like hell; my fave genres are fantasy, sci fi and crime) but I haaate literature in school. I'm actually a bit of a math nerd and this year I'm starting uni, studying computer science!! Oh! I've also taken drama classes for 2 years (despite the fear I loved being on stage and plan on starting again once I'm done w the baccalaureate), I love playing D&D and while I woulnd't quite call myself a gamer, I love role playing video games. I'm also almost always down for any kind of multiplayer video games w friends although I have no experience

I'm not a sportive person, I go on walks or do a few exercises every now and then at home but I'm willing to try stuff out like a new sport or going to the gym w an s/o. I do plan on starting self defense classes soon and maybe taking up sword fighting (I love swords hehe)

Tbh I've never been in a relationship so I'm not really sure how I would act w an s/o, nor what I'm exactly looking for. I best express my affection through physical touch tho and that includes my friends so I'd like someone who isn't bothered or can get used to that (s/o would still receive the most hugs/ cuddles etc). I'm not that comfortable w the other love languages for friends and family, but I think I'd be a lot more eager to express my love through them for s/o. If I'm on the receiving end, my weakness is still physical touch :)) but I also need words of affirmation every now and then cause insecurities 🌠 and while I wouldn't ask for anything, especially objects, I am a hoarder and I'd keep any kind of gift like its a national treasure simply bc its from someone I love.

In addition, it doesn't really matter if s/o is more on the emotional or rational side a long as they dont invalidate my feelings; it angers me a lot and makes me feel even more insecure. I tend to isolate when I'm really really upset about something so I need a lil bit of pushing to talk abt it; I'm open to talk abt my feelings but I need the verbal confirmation that they care and wanna help, its not just cause they're being nice

Wow that is a lot of rambling jeez ajsjsjs sorry. Thank you so much if you've read throught that all and ty for the match up!!

Me and my wife literally having a ten minute debate on who we’d pair you with before I made my choice. Thanks for all the details and I hope you enjoy the match up!

I match you with Sero

I feel he’s outgoing and extroverted enough to help you with your anxiety and always reassure you that you are good at things and he does love you, he’s also so chill and laid back that even if you were clingy he’d not mind, he’d embrace it, his chill nature would help balance you. He would help you feel grounded and have a ‘you don’t have to do it all now’ attitude but would happily help you out. You need help going to the store? He remembers the list you wrote, having trouble fitting in lunch while you study? He’ll come to your door with pizza.

He’s determined and outgoing but isn’t aggressively positive and loud either which I think is why I picked him over Kirishima for you.

+++

“Hey babe, whatcha reading?” Sero asked sitting next to you on the sofa, he handed you a soda which you gratefully took, not looking up from your laptop screen.

As soon as he was sat down comfortably your hand grabbed his, clasping your fingers together as you managed to tear your gaze away from the Wikipedia page which was still open. You blinked up at him and shook your head.

“Oh just something I learned about today and wanted to do some.. extra reading” you explained.

He nodded his head and drank his soda watching as your face lit up as you started to ramble about the topic, he didn’t really know much about it but the way you told him about everything, the way you happily expressed your interest towards the topic made him happy. He gave you his big grin when you finished.

“Sorry, I rambled..” You felt bad, you always felt nervous when you info dumped on people.

“Nah, it’s cool, I didn’t mind at all” he brought your hand up to his face and gave it a kiss, your face flushed at the gentle gesture which caused Sero to laugh playfully.

“Well, if your sure… I just wanted something to take my mind off chores”.

“It’s the weekend, you don’t have to rush anyway.. and if you don’t feel better by tomorrow I can help, you can wash the dishes and I’ll dry?” he suggested still peppering kisses on the back of your hand before you set your laptop down and crawled closer to him.

You nodded softly, that sounded a lot more manageable, you felt your anxiety settle down from a raging nagging feeling to something easier to tolerate. He was such a good influence on you. Sero set down his drink and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

“The guys want to come over and say hi later, maybe get pizza… but I can tell them not tonight if you aren’t feeling it… maybe you can play that new game you got? I liked watching you play the other night” He suggested as he nuzzled your head, enjoying how your hair felt on his face.

“Maybe… can I give you an answer later?”

“Yeah, no rush babe”

You smiled softly feeling the lanky boy kiss the side of your head and listened as you carried on talking about the trivia of your current interest.

#match up monday #mha match up #bnha match up #bnha reader insert #mha reader insert #sero hanta x reader #sero x reader

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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6, 12, 14, 15, & 21 for the writing asks? -megs 💙

hachi machi okie dokie how many more nonsense rhymes can i say ok that's it great let's go

6. What fic is on your back burner, waiting to be written when you feel your skill matches its potential? answered this one here! i'm SURE there are more though let me check my fic ideas doc (fun fact my fic ideas doc is still called "Malum fic ideas:" from back in the early days of this blog when i was chiefly writing malum because of helen). oh! well. the major league baseball au is still uh, kinda back burner-y. that's another one that i started and then ran face first into a wall known as The Wall of Trying To Realistically Represent A Situation I've Never Been In But Also Include Romance Which Would Not Typically Exist In This Setting So I'm Really Setting Myself Up For Failure Here it's a really annoying wall i know hazel hits it too so i'm just ignoring it for the moment. i also think a castaways fic (the concept, not the song) would be really awesome but tricky because, once again, i've never actually BEEN a castaway, and my knowledge of the topic is pretty heavily based on the book hatchet so like. yeah. i have a lot.

12. Where do you commonly find inspiration for your stories? everywhere! i saw in your answer you said you hear song lyrics and think they'd make good fic titles, i do EXACTLY the same thing (hence the doc "good lyrics for titles"). one day ill make that doc into a prompt list and post it on here and just fuck myself over. previously ive gotten some inspiration from movies but i shortly after completing baby driver au i realized that was a fluke and that in general i am pretty bad at making fics out of movie plots because i am very bad at remembering salient details about movies in the order that they happen. like i started a robin hood (2018) au but barely got anywhere with it because i realized i had never actually understood the plot well enough to write it. i would say the things that inspire me the most are songs (we know i loooove a songfic, mostly bc they make the job so easy by just laying out the plot and vibe for me) and also things that happen to me and feelings i have about those things. unfortunately many of my experiences are not universal (hello jewish summer camp) which may be part of why i've had so much trouble coming up with ideas lately. but as soon as i'm back at school i get the feeling i'll be doing fine again.

14. Share a few sentences of what you’re currently working on? what AM i currently working on? technically speaking i'm kinda sorta working on two things but one of them just doesn't have a good snippet and i don't wanna do a Reveal yet so ill give you this one instead, from a fic i might never even post:

“Oh, I meant to tell you, my mum called earlier, she asked if you’re okay.” Ashton’s mum always asks if Luke is okay. Exactly that way, is Luke doing okay?, like Luke gives off some kind of not-doing-okay vibe. He suspects it’s a leftover instinct from his and Ashton’s mutual breakdown a few years back, but honestly, he’s doing better now. It’s sweet of her to ask, but she could just ask about him the same way she asks about Michael and Calum. How’s Luke? would be fine.

“I am great,” Luke says. “How’s she? Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s okay,” Ashton says. “She’s started taking Harry to look at some universities.” He pauses. “University. You know? What the fuck?”

“No way,” Luke says, and tries to work out if he’s meant to be surprised by that. He can’t remember how old Harry is. Clearly almost uni-age. Ashton’s told him this a million times, but Luke can’t keep track when the answer keeps changing. He doesn’t want Ashton to think he’s forgotten, so he just says, “That’s insane.”

15. What are some of your favorite tropes to write? Do they match the ones you read? answered this one here as well! i've managed to get unbelievably long-winded answering every single one of these questions so far so i won't write another answer for this one

21. Do you have any stories you’ve written completely but never posted? Why? Please tell us about them? yes!! i have a handful. let me hunt them down. okay final answer, i have five!

one is an au based on the prompt "we’re at a party and someone asks what your type is and you describe me perfectly while staring right at me” which i never posted because i wrote it a while ago and honestly i don't think it's good enough to post. also i kinda don't like the background character i made jack barakat. i could edit it. but. ehh

one is a fic that is set in the daydream jalex fic 'verse, but the only way it's relevant to that 'verse is because it has ace!jack, and it's highly personal and probably the most projection-heavy fic i've ever written and i never posted it because i'm nervous to be Known like that lol

one is technically emo lashton, but not actually set in the emo lashton 'verse that i've created, and that one is ALSO one of the most projection-heavy fics i've ever written. it's usually the fics that are full of projection but in a specific way that i think isn't really relatable that i write but don't end up posting. it's a good fic honestly i wouldn't be against posting it i just never have. also partially because i'm between two titles for that fic lol

one is.......something that was originally going to be set in a different fic universe (for a fic i havent posted or finished writing lol), but now i don't know if it will necessarily fit in that 'verse, so it's kind of its own very short but complete thing. i never posted it because (1) it's super short, less than 1k, and i don't like to post stuff that short, and also (2) just in case it DOES fit the fic 'verse, i don't wanna give away the ending, lmao

and lastly there's a fic i wrote in an excited haze when sam and meghna and i made the ssf and the aces plans, which is like, ot4 meeting but they're all internet friends. guess what inspired that. i'll never post it because it really wasn't written with the intention of posting it, i sent it to sam and meghna and they were the only people i wanted to read it and they have so <3

writing asks

#the snippet posted here is ALSO from a veeery projection-heavy fic and that is why i may never actually post it #it took me so long to finish answering this because while searching for completed fics that ive written i got distracted #rereading the robin hood au #dude it's so good i'm so mad #there are also a handful of fics in my docs that are like. probably 89% finished #and the way i could finish them is if i just edited them by deleting the last like three paragraphs in each #because i think the place where i took the plot in a couple was like. wrong. and if i undid that then i could finish the fic #but i'm too lazy #plus i hate deleting paragraphs of writing when it's good writing #yowza this is a long answer lol #megs #roommate #ask #anonymous #igarbagecannoteven

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kuronokiseki · 4 years

Text

Best Usagi+Misaki Moments (imo)

Yo back with this kind of post again!!!! The last part of the trilogy I guess?? (No!!!!!!!! D:)

Misaki ver: https://kuronokiseki.tumblr.com/post/617551810336555008/best-misaki-moments-imo

Usagi ver: https://kuronokiseki.tumblr.com/post/618193516175196160/best-usagi-moments-imo

Warning: Lots of large images again~ Plus my ramblings :v

Look someone is having a crush ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I’m a strong believer that Misaki is the one who falls first and this is another evidence. I think the reason is because Usagi showed his true nature and it made Misaki fall in love ❤️ 🥺 The older played a big role in helping him getting to a top uni despite his Ds so I can understand how much that will mean alot to Misaki! And this extra chapter? It speaks alot abt Usagi’s kindness. The great lengths he went to make up with Misaki for comparing him with his crush. He pretended he just happened to be there, he apologized, prepared a scarf and hot buns for Misaki beforehand in case he was cold... Awww he’s so sweet how could Misaki not fall in love :”“(

I’m talking abt this!

I do want this plot point to be fleshed out more tbh. Of Misaki hating Usagi at first, then slowly exposed to his kind-hearted self like this and boom he’s in love~ 😳 Wouldn’t it make an interesting enemies-to-lovers? And Misaki pining for Usagi pining for Takahiro but all of them are clueless of this little love triangle hnnnggg I wanna see more of this dynamic

HAH you think I won’t include this scene despite already done in the previous versions no no no IT WILL BE A HUGE CRIME

I also strongly think that Misaki cried for Usagi not just bcs he was being Misaki, it’s also bcs of his love for him :”( How could you not think Misaki is already in love with Usagi when he was thinking “If only I could stay with this person forever. I want to become someone special to him...” and they can’t stop hugging each other (urgghhh the melodrama it hurts)

Imagine feeling heartbroken but you’re not the only one crying... And you’re not facing it alone...

Misaki im-not-gay-4-usagi Takahashi

I totally lost to him! But how can I not to that smiling face? >:////( - Misaki, the tsundere kween

“Not to Takahiro. Not to anyone.” :”“”“““O

Usagi - >:}

Misaki - >:///(

Best quotes in a single panel

Misaki asking Usagi for a date :”““v

Usagi and Misaki having a disagreement

(argh why this pic is so smol) they’re being cute ^w^

Studio Deen didn’t animate this scene >:(

Usagi: *smiles*

Misaki: 😳 ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 💔 ❣️ 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝 💟

Annnnddd this scene is soooo much more emotional in the manga. The whole chapter is like a DOUBLE KILL and the fandom was tremendously shook when it first came out in 2012... Me too, was amazed at how superb the writing is, and in awe of how genius Nakamura is... (when handling Romantica lmao)

Haha brings back memories. This was back when we had to rely on scans translated from chinese to english. Even tho now I know how get my own copy and read it by myself, but I’m still thankful for the scanlation groups that never cease to exist and keep the fandom well fed :”( Big thanks to them!

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE NOTICED THAT THIS SCENE IS CHOU YABAIIII omigod look at how Misaki is drunk in pleasure and his lusty eyes looking at his hubby hngggg

THIS CHAPTER CAN BE A WHOLE MOVIE. IT’S SO GREAT. STUDIO DEEN EVEN THO IM DISAPPOINTED AT HOW S3 WENT BUT THANKS TO THE PLOT GETTING BETTER AND BETTER AND MISAKI IS THE FOOKIN MVP PLS MAKE S4 BCS THERE ARE PPL WHO WONT READ THE MANGA PLS PLS MAKE THEM SHOOOOK

That’s what you get for having an boyfriend yearsss older ;-)

Misaki giving Usagi a hj 👀 👀 👀

I noticed that in future chapters, Misaki will do whatever Usagi tells him to during smex. Hmmm Usagi why don’t you teach him how to top or power bottom you in that way then ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) or at least, teach him HOW TO SUCC

This is an intense chapter but all I can think of is this panel like SIZE DIFFERENCEEEE

Usagi and Misaki’s “breakup“ XDDD and Misaki’s cute little hmph hmph omg how could I not love this boiii

Some ppl in the fandom: OMG USAGI DESERVES BETTER!!! MISAKI DOESNT RETURN HIS LOVE!!!! >:”“O LOOK AT MY POOR BOI NOT BEING APPRECIATED ENOUGH AND IS UNHAPPY WITH MISAKI >:”(

Usagi:

(But seriously, when this chapter first came out I dived into Mangago to see if anyone’s excited as me bcs of the great writing but nooooope ppl raging abt Misaki not saying I love you in s3 ep 9 which recently aired at that time... I’m going to make another list which is Worst Romantica Moments (imo) and voice my rants further there ._. )

HOLDING HANDSSSS

Look at how he had to bend down to kiss him haha Misaki so smol

SIZE DIFFERENCE AGAIN OMG IM LOVIN THEIR 1 FOOT HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

And shall I point out something up to debate? xD WHO REACHED TO HOLD HANDS FIRST

Misaki’s best christmas gift ;-;

Happily bantering ;;-;;

Oh Nakamura, pls dont end Romantica as soon Takahiro knows. I’m happy enough with fluffy chapters like this, them being sooo in love and happy with each other ;w;

KISSING WHILE STROKING EACH OTHERS’ HAIR AAAAAAAHHHHHH SO SOFT SO FLUFFY SO DUJQJDQQKWJDKHDUWQHDKWQD

And how can I not include this golden scene.

Misaki: (OMG USAGI-SAN’S PP HAS GROWN SO BIGGG >//A//<)

Usagi: ...Misaki y so tight

#junjou romantica

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darknessisafriend · 5 years

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Hi! I'd like to request an imagine with Joaquin in which he's dating an university student (she's like 21-22) and she feels insecure about being so much younger than him bc of people's comments? Hope you're having a good day! :)

Hiiiii ! thanks for your request and sorry if took a bit of time, I had trouble to write these past two months, but now it seems I’m getting better again! I’m putting too much pressure on myself ^^’ Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy it

Love is love

I’m parked by the entrance, on your right.

You sighed as you looked at the text Joaquin had sent you. This morning you were thrilled when he had offered to pick you up at the end of your day at university. But that was until, some students came to you, showing you the cover of one of those tabloid magazines where you and Joaquin had been photographed kissing. The title was engraved in your mind ‘JOAQUIN PHOENIX DATING A TEEN!’, you were young and you knew that people always perceived you younger than you were but you weren’t exactly a teen, you were 22 years old, so legally an adult; you and your boyfriend had a 23 years gap and now people knew and some had even recognized you, you felt so bad about it, you didn’t want Joaquin to be harassed and criticized for dating you, and what if it was wrong like one of the students told you?

As you reached the entrance, your eyes scanned the area for Joaquin, until you found him. He was leaning against his Tesla, wearing his dark pants and t-shirt, and of course his white converse; he had his sunglasses on and was smoking while waiting for you. When he noticed you, he hurried to the nearest public ashtray so that he could greet you properly.

“Hey babe, how you doin’?” he said with a sweet voice, leaning to kiss your lips but you turned your head at the last moment so that his lips would land on your cheek.

“Fine.” You answered avoiding his confused gaze. All these people and tabloids were making you upset and insecure about your relationship with Joaquin; and you felt terrible for acting distant with your boyfriend, he probably didn’t know about those pictures.

You both entered the car to head to his place. The ride was silent, you looked at the window, thinking about your relationship with Joaquin, was it that wrong to be in love with an older man? Should you tell Joaquin about it? As for your lover, he was often looking at you with worry; did he do something wrong? He will give you the time you need to open up to him, you were clearly very upset and weren’t ready yet to talk about it.

When you arrived at his home, after petting his dogs, which appeased your mind a bit; you let yourself fall on the sofa, you buried your head in the cushion and hugged it tightly. ‘What a crappy day’ you thought, it should have been perfect, to spend your evening and night with Joaquin, but those people had ruined everything. You didn’t move for an hour maybe, hoping for the world to forget about you, or what they knew about you and your boyfriend.

Then, you heard quiet steps approach you; it was Joaquin. He sat at the level of your hip, his hand coming up to gently stroke your hair. You had missed his touch the whole day, it was so comforting, and yet the title of the tabloid was still there in your mind, over and over.

“What’s wrong Y/N?” he asked you, you could hear the hint of worry in his voice, you slightly turned your head, so that he could see your face, you quickly looked at him before looking at the floor.

“Some tabloid, took photos of us kissing, implying it’s terrible of you to do that…people at my uni recognized me, and everyone’s telling me it’s wrong…” you tried to prevent your voice trembling, but tears prickled in your eyes, you loved Joaquin, you didn’t want it to end. You heard your lover sigh, but his fingers continued to play with your hair.

“Y/N, look at me.” He replied softly, you turned on your back so that you could fully face him, you bit your trembling lip as you met his eyes. His hand traveled to your cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear falling coming out.

“Do you think of our relationship as something wrong?” he asked you with apprehension. You quickly shook your head.

“No, I don’t understand why people are saying this! It makes me feel so bad Joaq, it’s just…”

“Listen, all they care about is selling as much of their shit as they can and the others are speaking without knowing, we’re both consenting adults…” cut off your lover calmly, if he gets the name of the person who took the photo, he’ll have a word with them; nobody had the right violate his private life and even less to upset you.

“But I don’t want you to have problems because of me.” You added with worry, taking his hand in yours; you didn’t want him to have more paparazzies coming after him, or to even have an investigation on your relationship.

“Did I ever cared about what others thought about me?” he asked you on a light tone, arching an eyebrow. You huffed amused; he had a point.

“I don’t want us to break up because of this.” You admitted, playing with his finger, somehow you feared he would, to avoid media attention. He shook his head in disbelief with a small smile and he moved to come on top of you, propping himself on his elbows, his face a few inches from yours.

“Don’t be silly, nothin’, and I say NOTHIN’ will keep me away from you.” A relieved smiled formed on your face; you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“There’s no other man I’d rather be with; I love our 3 am talks, your playfulness, you make me laugh so much.” He chuckled as you lifted your head to tenderly kiss his lip before continuing, puncturing every word by kisses “your smile, your eyes, your compassion, how you love me…” this time you took your time to kiss him, you needed to feel him.

“Are you expecting me to list all the reasons why I love you? Cause it’s goin’ to take hours.” He joked, against your lips before capturing them once again. One of your hand traveled to bury in his silver hair that you loved so much, while Joaquin’s mouth wandered down your neck.

“You know, you won’t be able to ignore my parents…” you insinuated on a light tone; you knew your parents were going to be suspicious of Joaquin, when they hear about his age; but you also knew that they were understanding and that they will just make sure your boyfriend has no bad intentions. He lifted his head, a confident smile on his face.

“I’ll just have to prove to them that I simply care about you, that we fell in love like everyone does…and if your father wants to physically fight me, I’m sorry but I’m a black belt, he doesn’t stand much chances.” He grinned mischievously; you couldn’t stop laughing on how he bragged about it.

“Oh my god, I can totally imagine that! But please don’t.” you breathed between giggles, which in return made Joaquin smile even more, making you laugh, and smile was his daily goal.

“Alright, I’ll just pretend he’s too strong for me.” Gave in your boyfriend, covering your face with kisses. He had his unique way of cheering you up and making you happy; and for that you’ll never give him up even if you have the whole world against you.

Joaquin’s squad: @arcticmonkais @amourtiara @sirianfromsixties @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face @live-love-loki @lyoongx @skaravile @jaylovesbats @niniita-ah @dirtyginger @valentina15 @cumberbitching

#joker2019 #joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix imagine #joaquin phoenix x reader

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kyunsies · 3 years

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madch madch <3 hello love!

how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.

YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?

ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?

THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3

omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD

OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?

AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda

YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3

-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;

but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3

about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((

OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3

honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................

YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3

and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')

ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3

okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

#asks #💥 anon

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gallickingun · 4 years

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hofortendou x nishinoya || gallickingun matchups

@hofortendou : first off conGRATS !! i’m so glad to see that your blog keeps growing! also i would like to participate in your matchup event! i would like a male match from haikyuu 🥰 i’m (she/her) 5’4”, short-ish haired brunette with big hazel eyes (i’m talkin’ tim burton scale) and covered in freckles. I do digital art both as a hobby and for uni, i play video games, watch too much anime, i longboard when i can or if it’s a particularly nice day out, and i absolutely love plants, like they’re all over my apt. if i had to give myself an aesthetic i’d say a mix between art mom n grunge, i think? i usually wear a hoodie and shorts/sweats bc i work from home but i’m a sucker for cropped jackets/shirts w mom jeans and docs when i need to actually get dressed. i like to learn new things and am v organized but not overbearing w it, my personality is very open minded, intro-extroverted and humor based but i’m literally baby and WILL cry if you raise your voice at me. that being said i’m v affectionate and love me some tenderness. if i had to look for anything in a partner it’d be sympathy and humor, for sure. and i would love to go do something fun like roller skating or walk around a fair for a first date, something memorable and not super basic, y’know? ty and ily moe ❤️

Thank you so much for participating! I really hope you like this! And thank you again for supporting me, it means the whole entire world 🧡

Warning: Slight NSFW ahead! Under the cut~

― Noya supports going out or staying in - whether that’s trying a new Thai place, or watching anime on the couch. Sometimes you gotta paint the town red, other times you have to chill out on the sofa! ― He’s affectionate as all get out, absolutely adores and requires to touch you at all times. Hand in your pocket, hand in your hand, hand on your waist. Once you two get comfortable enough with each other, he’ll kiss you in public if you’re okay with it, he’ll hold your hand at all times, and will definitely make sure that everyone knows the two of you are grossly in love. ― I think your aesthetics would go really well together! Noya canonically loves the color black, so I think that your grunge aesthetics would go together, even if you both like to switch it up from time to time.

☁ Nishinoya absolutely adores you. To the point where you’re not sure sometimes if he’s genuine or not. Whether you’re fully decked out in a complete face of makeup and a full snazzy dress, or lounging around the house in one of his old jerseys and some joggers.. that man is going to remind you how beautiful you are.

☁ He definitely wants to kick your ass in video games, though. He has a radical competitive streak, no matter what the activity is or if he’s done it before. It will be his first time playing Mario Kart and he’ll jump up and down on the couch, mashing buttons and squealing at the top of his lungs every time he gets thrown off the track. If it’s more FPS style games, he talks too loud and pretends to know what he’s talking about by using slang that he’s heard from his other friends who play video games a little more.

☁ Noya loves it when you wear crop tops - sweatshirts, tanks, tees, etc. - he likes to sneak his hands along your waist and up your shoulders. His thumbs run along your ribs and he pulls you in closer all the time, nuzzling your nose and whispering sappy compliments and corny pick up lines and raunchy one liners. He ducks his head into your neck and as he’s pressing kisses to your skin, his fingertips are searing into your waist, and you feel completely lightheaded at being so overwhelmed by his closeness.

☁ He gets loud from time to time, but when you shy away from him or possibly even tear up, he’s immediately bringing his voice down a few octaves and rushing forward to apologize and comfort you. His hands find your face and his voice is gentle, eyes warm as he looks across at you to

☁ There is a pretty heavy praise and worship between the two of you - Nishinoya loves to kiss your lips and tell you how pretty your eyes are and how good you take him and how beautiful your body looks while he’s fucking into you slow and deep. He’ll whisper with his nose against your temple, his lips against the shell of your ear, “Such a good girl, damn, you’re gorgeous. Look so pretty when you’re taking me just like this,” and then he makes your pussy cream with his fingers sneaked between your hips to find that precious bundle of nerves.

☁ On the same hand, he loves it when you whimper praises into the thin air between your bodies. You whimper, gasping out, “N-Noya, love your cock, please, fill me up, I-I want more.” And oh, does he deliver. Somehow he’s able to keep stretching you out and filling you up, even when you both think your cunt has sucked him in to the base. You tell him in blundering babbles how strong he is and how safe you feel with him, and the sound of you doting on him with your words is what makes his cock twitch just before he coats your walls white.

☁ At least once a month you two have a veg out on the couch night. Noya orders dinner, you put together a blanket nest, and you two snuggle down into the corner of the couch and watch whatever reruns or new anime is on that you’ve both decided to watch. He’ll ask you a million questions if he’s never seen it before, even if you haven’t seen it before, because he’s just so curious to know how it ends even though he doesn’t really want you to tell him.

☁ Nishinoya wants to do everything you love, no matter if he’s truly interested in it or not. It’s important to you, so it’s important to him. However, he really has a short attention span, so unless it’s something super stimulating, you’ll need to be willing to redirect him whenever necessary. You might need to stop for food in the middle just to break it all up.

☁ Affectionate? Please. Nishinoya can’t keep his hands off of you. If you’re in the same room together, he’s stood next to you, hand in your back pocket or arm around your shoulder. Everyone knows you two are together from the moment you set foot anywhere because he’s kissing your forehead or you’re leaning into his bicep or you’re holding each other around the waist. Sometimes the others have to remind you that you’re in public, even though Noya is just giving you a lil’ forehead smooch.

☁ Noya is a pretty joking guy, even though he does have his serious moments. He and Asahi are really close and he knows how to joke with him, so he learns from that and uses it to determine how far he can go with you so far as sarcasm and banter. He nudges your ribs and giggles in your ear and tells too many jokes sometimes, but you love it. There are times when he takes it too far, though, and the first time you get upset because of something he said, he’s apologizing for days and latching himself onto you like a koala. You have to tell him a dozen times over that you’re okay, so long as he doesn’t tell that joke again.

"It’s hot! And I’m not getting any better at this!” Noya groans, dropping back on the concrete so he’s laid out, sprawled limbs spread out every which way. He drapes his arm over his face to cover his eyes from the beating sun, his lips pulled into a pout, “Please, can’t we eat?!”

You chuckle, squatting beside him to tickle the little sliver of skin that’s peeking out from under the hem of his shirt from where he’s caused it to ride up by moving his arms around. “C’mon, Yuu, you’re not going to quit on me now, are you?”

Noya groans, rolling onto his side so he can rest his cheek against the tops of your knees, “But it’s hot and I’m hungry. We’ve been at this for hours!”

“It’s been twenty minutes.”

“Well-”

“It’s fine, babe,” you tell him, running your fingers through his hair, pulling gently at the brunette strands with your digits. Another chuckle shakes your chest and he turns his head to look at you, thankful that your body is blocking the direct sunlight, “I don’t want to not learn, honey, I just forgot to eat breakfast. Maybe we can grab something, go for a swim, and then try again?”

You do as he says, finding a food cart to grab something small to eat and scarfing it down on a picnic table that’s centered along the pavilion that overlooks the beach. You hold hands underneath the table, your palms rested on Noya’s knee. He’ll play with your fingers, squeezing your knuckles and following the curve of your palm down to your wrist. It feels that sometimes he’s even checking your pulse to make sure that you’re still okay, still with him. As if he cannot believe that this isn’t some sort of dream that he has the ecstasy of reliving every day.

As you drop your tee shirt to reveal your bathing suit, you can’t help but notice Noya’s eyes are all over your frame. He comes up behind you before you can turn around to admonish him for undressing you with his eyes in front of everyone here on the beach, and his arms wrap around your waist, head tucked into your neck. When he speaks, his voice is husky and it sends a jolt of electricity directly to your core, “We could always just go home-”

“You promised, Noya!” You whine, circling your hands around his wrist and tugging playfully. He groans and bares his teeth to your shoulder, sucking one harsh time before releasing you, “Only because I’m completely whipped for you, babe.”

Your feet hit the water and Noya is flying past you into the waves, screaming at the top of his lungs before he plunges into the sea. You can’t contain the giggles that part your lips, covering your mouth with your hand as the waves crash into your shins. You’re meeting him halfway, floating in the ocean water up to your shoulders, your body folded at the waist beneath the crest of the waves, “You’re so dramatic, Yuu.”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way, would you?” he asks, eyes still burning with that familiar flame as he tugs you by your hips so you’re straddling his waist beneath the water. You gasp as he rolls his hips up into you, the feel of his thick length hardening against your thigh, “N-Noya-”

“Shh,” his voice is accented by the feel of his middle finger slipping your bathing suit to he side, “Keep quiet, baby girl, and I’ll make sure we both feel good.”

Your voice is lost in your throat, irises swallowed by your pupils when the first languid stroke of his fingers finds your innermost folds. Nishinoya pulls your chin with his free hand, tilting your head so he can kiss you on the mouth, eliciting a gasp from the back of your throat, “That’s not quiet, baby. Try again.”

The way you gulp and nod your head makes him chuckle, but he can’t keep himself from you, and before you know it, he’s devouring you from both ends.

Please check HERE to see if I’ve done your matchup already. Remember, I will also post your matchup with the tag: “#emoji-matchup”, using your emoji in place of the word, so if you can remember your emoji, you can search my blog for that tag to see if I have completed it already!

#nishinoya yuu #nishinoya matchup #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! matchup #hq matchup #nishinoya yuu matchup #nishinoya hq #nishinoya haikyuu #morgan does matchups #hofortendou #💌 matchup

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arpwrites · 5 years

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arpu, how can we connect to our intuition? i know some say "meditate" but my mind is not calm and my butt itches most of the time. i cant stay still

this is actually perfect timing because I’m feeling the same way so helping you is also going to help myself 🌞✊🏽divine timing fr ✨

okay the goal is to get your mind to stop double checking every thought you have. we’re wired to check the veracity of our thoughts and discard ‘nonsense’ that comes from ‘nowhere.’ the subconscious mind kills it before we’re even aware of it. it goes back to the renaissance/age of reason where the scientific method (that was developed largely by muslim/arab scholars btw!) was heralded and factuality became an important component of clear, rational, logical, good thinking. it’s what you’re taught in school now and what is prized in technological societies.

so, we need to let the brain know it’s okay (and encouraged!) to have thoughts where the source of origin is unimportant. fun story: I accidentally did this when I read Einstein didn’t remember anything that could be looked up. this integrated itself into my worldview very deeply very quickly and I found myself remembering only interesting things without remembering or caring what the source was. didn’t help when I couldn’t pull stats out of my ass while arguing with someone, but did wonders for my intuition.

we can do this through repetitive activities where conscious thinking becomes irrelevant and/or you assign importance to ‘nonsense’ thoughts. this is the core of meditation too if you think about it – its about focusing on a single thing and acknowledging thoughts but not involving yourself in them. these activities will calm your mind in a similar way to meditation and also help your restless ass lol

morning pages!! I personally do this and I love it, it’s helped me grow immensely, I highly recommend it. when you write down every single thing in your head and just empty it out without stopping to consider its worthiness, you are telling your brain every thought is equally important and more of the subconscious intuition comes through to the surface.

random associations!!!!! let your mind wander

play this game with your friend!

pacing! I do this a lot, there’s an origin story if you’re interested lol but the main idea is this: put on music you’ve never heard before and walk really fast and/or run till you can’t think bc you’re barely able to breathe. focus on the music and let your mind wander and go wherever the music takes it. soon thoughts that are completely unrelated will pop up and though they really are nonsense in the beginning, keep encouraging it and u can tell when they eventually have truth to them

dancing! focus on nothing but the music and go crazy. doesn’t matter what kind but fast paced usually works better. don’t think about how to dance, think about it as the music controlling your body! you stop thinking and in that space, u can listen to the under-thoughts that usually go unnoticed

tbh, any activity u enjoy that takes up a lot of your focus + peripheral wandering thoughts. gardening! cutting 1000 stickers by hand! copying a textbook so u study and develop your intuition at the same time! there’s a lot of ways to integrate it into your daily life once u know what it feels like. this is pseudo meditation too btw.

overthink!!!!!!!!!! I loved doing this as I drove to uni every day lol. i’m not saying to distract yourself while driving! safety is most important!! but after the 100th time I drove the same route, I became a pro at it and my lizard brain took over. it didn’t need my thinking brain to drive. so I thought and thought uncontrollably and my thoughts got more nonsensical and irrelevant and there was no connection and like I said before, they were ridiculous at first. just my fears coming through. but then they started having truth to them and I started getting information about the universe and our purpose etc. etc. I think I had the most breakthrough intuitions while I was in that daze. I could predict things really accurately, it was spooky. I recommend this but its a double edged sword bc overthinking doesn’t help have a happy, healthy life. use it as a stepping stone and don’t! drive!! while u do it. pace instead or pour it into a private tumblr.

also! give importance to these random associations/thoughts! document them or record them however you can. write them down, text it to yourself. this tells your brain they’re valuable and encourages their production

dream journal!! do it first thing as soon as u wake up. and within a week or so you can reliably remember a loooooot of what happens and it also helps lucid dreaming actually. since dreams are nonsense anyway, repeated action tells the brain to encourage these types of thoughts and voila! intuition developed in daily life!

you have to Want it! your intentions create another layer of under-wiring in your brain that grows stronger with use and influences the overall synaptic network esp. the parts that control which thoughts are important and not. so start being curious! let things like trying to make predictions and having super powers take up space in your brain! try and guess things before they happen or guess what random strangers are about to do or predict the score you’ll get on a test. the more you do it, the more u tell your brain this is an Important Activity and then it builds the required ‘code’ to make that function run better. you’ll be completely off in the beginning but then slowly your success rate will climb.

like anything in life, you’ll get a lot better with practice. even if what i’m saying sounds like nonsense rn, try it a few times and you’ll see what I mean. btw, you don’t have to stick to a single method!! switch them around, everything counts as +1. you aren’t starting from zero with every new technique.

these should be enough for you to get a head start! if none of them work, let me know a bit about yourself and I can probably come up with more methods custom made for you~

also, this old post I wrote about meditation might help 🌞

good luck!!!!! hope you have as much fun as I did discovering your spiritual side 🌝💖

edit – special anon message for you: For meditation anon: There's a common misconception that meditation requires you to "quiet your mind" and disallow it to wonder, but really, it's more about getting into a flow state where you allow your thoughts to come and go with ease. It's mindfulness more than anything imo, acknowledging the thoughts but bringing yourself to a point where you aren't questioning/over-analyzing and thus reacting emotionally to them (like you ordinarily would throughout the day). It's okay to get distracted by your external environment or physical sensations, because you definitely WILL as a beginner, and still at times even if you're more advanced. It all comes down to practice, and the point is to train your mind, so any time you lose focus - Don't let it discourage you. Let it be a teacher of sorts. Refocus and try again. As you progress, you'll be less likely to get out of focus. Sitting isn't for everyone, definitely try things Arp mentioned, like walking!

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carotriesstudy · 6 years

Text

When you’re not doing well at uni and failing

okay, i know im not the best at keeping this blog bc its like not a physical thing so i forget i have it lol

but i wanted to just talk a little and vent bc of my life is pretty shit atm (the tips at the start are written post rant to actually give some advice instead of just venting)

Tip 1 - get out of bed

I know its hard, I could spend my life in bed and tbh I do. but I also know that while it feels like taking care of yourself to relax, I know it’ll make me more depressed. and it's super hard. I constantly tell myself to get up while lying there an entire day. but when you feel that little spur of energy or in my case annoyance lol use it. get up and get out.

Tip 2 - get out of your room

this is similar to tip 1 but if you find yourself in lack of motivation or energy go somewhere. take a walk, or go study in a library or cafe. and this can be even harder. having to get dressed? maybe interact with people? are you kidding me? but the minute you get out and even when you interact with people it feels better. you aren't holed up in your depression or whatever might be bothering you.

Tip 3 - it’s okay and it’s going to be better

right now it's shit. and it feels like its never going to get better. and that you're stuck in this rut forever. but things will turn even if you don't want them to. there can be a comfort and security in your depression bc it gives a reason to why it feels like its right. but you know what also feels like that? the good, and hopefully there will be more of those.

Tip 4 - do as much as you can handle

it's easy to not do things. I haven't done anything all semester. and it sucks bc it's biting me in the ass now. and it's not like I don't have the time. I just don't have the energy. so when I have the energy I need to remember that reading 3 pages of assigned reading is still better than none. I go to class even if I'm not paying attention bc it gets me up and out but also it gives a good idea of what I need to focus on etc.

Tip 5 - its okay to “give up”

i dont like the phrase giving up that much bc it sounds like defeat. i am in a process of severly considering not starting again next semester bc of my mental health. its serious consideration. but its one i need to make and if i decide not to go, it doesnt mean i gave up, i just realised that my current situation iisnt good and that i need to change stuff before i can continue instead of wasting my time doing a shit job at an expensive uni. so, thats good. figuring out what works and what doesnt is only a positive thing

today im in a somewhat good mood despite learning i failed my stats exam (dw its not bad we have multiple so i can still pass)

but the thing is, i have been in a very bad place or a long time and it has really been affecting me and by extension also my education.

i feel apathetic towards everything, im uninterested, and the stress and obligatoin feel i used to really on to study isnt kicking in anymore due to the apathy

im constantly tired, i cant get out o bed in the morning and we have madatory attendance (which probably is good bc otherwise i wouldnt be going to class probably)

my concentration and attention is somewhere completely different atm and its been weeks like this (usually its a few days) and i cant control it very well and its making it hard for me to study and pay attention

im letting myself slip, my room is slipping, my health is slipping

while im trying to get better and be more social which is easier than studying bc usually its just me and this one friend getting high and watching stupid videoes which is nice bc its a break to feel happy and entertained but its also not good for me

back to school stuff since this is a study blog

im no doing good in any of my classes, i barely passed two exams, failed one and possibly one more

i have an exam on friday i need to study for, and one on monday. i neeed good grades in these to make up for the not so good marks i have received before

and while i know that taking care of your mental health is more important not feeling like doing academic work is bothering me a lot actually and its a hellish circle of poor mental health leads to poor academic performance which then leads to poor mental health

and while my apathy and alexithymia saves me from feeling sad or upset by my grades i know deep down i want to do well. i want to succeed.

i cant keep not working, i need to put in work if i wanna improve. this isnt high school anymore

im doing some hard courses this semester and while i am usually interested in most of them i cant seem to care

im doing better today mentally and i feel up for getting some stuff done so im going to exploit that but i also just want to sleep and wake up feeling actually awake for once

im also getting sick so thats fun

my parents are also making me see a therapist (i haven't started yet) and i think thats a good idea but i have a lot of anxiety about it lol hence why i need therapy

im also going to talk to counsellor at school and see what she can help with as well

idk what id going to happen but im trying to finish my semester and get back into a good study rhythm. I anyone wants to throw some advice or encouragement my way id really appreciate it.

#studyblr #college #uni #mental health #drug mention #studying #tips #failing #mine

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fairycosmos · 5 years

Note

hey chloe i love ur blog. i started uni last week and it’s been ok but i’m rly scared i’m never going to make friends:(( i tried to talk to people during freshers week but none of those interactions ever went anywhere and now i’m sat in my room in halls completely alone. i feel like i never learned how to make friends and now i’m terrified i’ll always be alone. i can kind of do small talk but after that i’m awkward and can’t open up/be myself and i just get progressively more shy. any advice?

hi love thank you so much!! i appreciate that a LOT n im so sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time right now. i can definitely relate as i think many many people can, even if they seem confident to you. i massively struggle with making friends too, so idk if you've asked the right person sfhkjdhljf :( but generally speaking i guess, during times of such significant change it's very normal to go through a period of adjustment where you only have yourself to rely on and everything's out of wack. it's not an indicator that you'll always be alone and it's not something to be embarrassed about. this is a completely new environment and experience, you're bound to be overwhelmed. it's ok to feel down and to process negative emotions, as long as you can at least try to recognize them for what they are - temporary responses to temporary situations. simply feelings that you can learn to manage in a healthy way if you take the time to prioritize yourself and your needs. and it sux that it hurts and that you have to put up with it, but i promise that things will improve once you get settled n start working on the relationship you have with yourself. of course it's a lot easier said than done, and i genuinely don't blame you at all for being disheartened. every time i talk to someone in real life and i can't maintain the friendship, or i feel uncomfortable and i say the wrong thing, it throws me off and makes me burn with embarrassment. but it's all a learning process, and there's no rule book or deadline. it's very common for young adults to be between friends and to have moments of solitude. it's not like everyone consistently has a great group of friends. and honestly it's a blessing and a curse because obviously it's extremely lonely, and you're allowed to acknowledge that pain, but the freedom can teach you how to be your own best friend. you said you find it hard to be who you are (me 2!!) but....... maybe you'd feel better about showing your personality to others if you appreciated it yourself, in quiet moments. actively working on your self esteem and making the conscious choice to recognizie what you have to offer every single day, even if you feel stupid doing so, could make a difference. it's easy to attract like minded people if you're genuine, you know? the fact that you're making the effort to engage in small talk is wonderful, and like any other ability, social skills take time to develop bro. it's ok to not be great at talking to people when you're young, alright? so anyway point is, i would recommend setting a few small weekly goals for yourself - talk to that girl in class and breathe through the awkwardness, try that new bar or cafe, offer someone your pen. baby steps are great, every effort counts. maybe you could build up to joining a group or a club around your uni? i know that probably seems like a daunting and far fetched idea, and there's no pressure of course, it's just a lot easier to start a conversation when you have some common ground with someone. just something to consider while you get your bearings. ultimately, the world deserves to know you and you deserve companionship, they will never change. i want to stress that the situation you're in right now is not proof that you're destined to be alone or that you've done something wrong - you're just a small fish in a big pond, and so is everyone else, and just because uni isn't everything you expected doesn't mean it won't be worthwhile in its own way. you're doing so much better than you realize and im seriously infinitely proud of you for trying bc that's what it always comes back to. just have to keep dipping your toe in the water, keep it embracing the awkwardness, keep pushing and give yourself breaks when needed. also as a sidenote if this is having a big impact on your mental health/emotional well-being then i just wanted to say that there's honestly no shame in looking into any counselling services or hotlines or support groups that might be on offer. it may feel like you're isolated but there are always people who care and who have the tools to help you navigate. having someone to talk to and learning the root causes of your insecurities, and knowing how to self soothe......all of that will make a difference. don't allow your mind to write the idea off completely. vulnerability isn't something to run from, it often enables positive progress. no matter what your brain is telling you, you'll get through this one day at a time. and if a plan falls through, or you mess up in conversation, then there's always the next day. that's the beauty of uni and being young i suppose. anyway sorry this got so long, i just viscerally understand the absolute shame and discomfort of feeling not right around others. and i really hope you find the patience and self compassion to keep putting one foot in front of the other. even if it seems impossible at times. im rooting for you and honestly ik it's not the same but feel free to message me anytime. sending love and warmth 💘💘

#i always try to remember that ppl are usually to busy scrutinizing themselves to scrutinize me to a proper extent #anon #💖💖💖

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nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ��

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ��

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope. Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

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samscns-blog · 5 years

Text

* 𝖎𝖋 ur ready to two step into some absolute BULLSHIT tomfoolery , ya girl 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 is ready for u with my lil firecrotch son , 𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖘𝖔𝖓 . strong silent type , ABSOLUTE buffoon , barely keeping it together so hopefully by the time we’re done w him he’s still in something resembling one piece :’) all my love to u and u cute asses ! i’m so excited to get this all poppin !

⋆ ╰ another year at hollingsworth , another year of the big six rivalry . i hear that SAMSON MAILOTO is ensuring SIGMA ALPHA NU gets a solid pledge class and stays at the top of the ranks . oh , you’re not familiar with HIM ? SAM is the KJ APA look alike from THE BRONX , NEW YORK . a part of PC ‘16 , he is majoring in KINESIOLOGY and has plans to ENTER THE MMA AND ESCAPE FROM THE PUBLIC EYE after undergrad . it makes sense they pledged their house , their PHLEGMATIC & SOLICITOUS attributes make them perfect matches . however , their TREPIDATIOUS & AUSTERE attributes keep their name alive on greek rank . if you don’t catch them dancing to BLEACH - BROCKHAMPTON at a fraternity band party this year , you’ll be sure to catch them nursing their morning hangover at THE SNU HOUSE . cheers to another wild semester !

⋆ ╰ 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺 .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 : samson ioaleki mailoto

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : sam , sammy

𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆 / 𝒂𝒈𝒆 : february 4 , twenty

𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄 : aquarius

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚 / 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔 : cismale identifying with he / him / his pronouns

𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : heteroflexible and pansexual ; he’s never actively considered himself as lgbtq+ but has also never given it much thought ddjdjdjdkjdk

𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 : kinesiology major at hu , aspiring welterweight mma fighter , us olympic representitive for men’s boxing in the 2020 olympics

𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆 : gryffindor

𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 : eliot alder from mr robot , kylo ren from the new star wars series , detective elliot stabler from law and order svu , steve rogers from the mcu

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔 : - trepidatious , austere , apprehensive , hesitant , antisocial , hostile , bellicose .

+ phlegmatic , solicitous , benevolent , rational , stalwart , loyal , reliable , optimistic .

𝑃𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑆𝑇 located here !

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

bullet points for the win bc who has time for all the tomfoolery i could spew from my ass !

sammy’s mom was a housekeeper in upper manhattan for some fancy dancy homes who needed their gold toilet seat covers sanitized 3x a day , u know the type 🙄

samson grew up in a run down apartment in a small samoan community in the bronx and has always been a lil antisocial weirdo since those warm dark eyes came into the light . he rlly minded his own business n wasn’t really curious about literally anything besides running and wrestling w his cousins . his mom struggled to keep him fed and housed and dressed and worked relentless hours but never left sam needing anything , a literal fucking legend of a woman and he’s proud to carry her last name !

sammy always felt the weight of never wanting to be an extra burden to his mother and learned to really be self-sufficient , likely explaining his satisfaction with being so alone

he vaguely remembers the night his life changed in middle school , the hushed strained whisper from the living room , he’s your god damned son too , think about him for once in your fucking life . it hit like a fucking train once the story picked up , 5 time nfl superbowl champ father to secret love child . think arnold schwarznegger’s secret son level scandal ! suddenly his shithead of a dead is trying to salvage his image , fighting for split custody arrangements , telling the press how much in child support he payed , anything to save his ass

this is the first time samson remembers being fueled by rage in his life , as a relatively well-tempered child , the injustice of having this near-stranger try to be a “ DAD ” to him while shitting all over his mother’s name made his fucking blood boil and becomes a theme for his future

he spends the next chapters of his life going to the fancy private schools in new york his dad picks for him and tearing his tie off on the ratty bus ride into the bronx to go home to his mom . he hates having to haul ass back and forth , wishing he could stay with the only family he’s actually given a shit about , but bears it for the sake of not causing his mom any more torment . his father is as awful as could be imagined , and samson hates every second of existing with him , the snarky little comments at school and in the ritzy wealthy circles that make him feel more of a black sheep than he ever asked to be

this becomes the root of his anxiety , bearing the weight of the world’s expectations on his young shoulders and repressing his own needs and desires as a result . he goes into every sport imaginable , his father’s DNA being increasingly difficult to deny , but finds a particular talent with fighting and takes on as many fighting styles as he’s able to master

turning 18 should mean freedom for sam , but nothing is ever as simple as he could ask in his life . in order to keep the child support payments that admittedly help keep his mother afloat , his father asks one more thing of samson : hold off on his pro mma dreams for just a little longer in order to attend his alma matter , hollingsworth university , as a publicity move and then he’ll be out of sam’s life in every way except financially . with the dream of completing college like his mom always aspired for him , sam agreed and went on to appease the man one last time , joining his former fraternity to sweeten the deal ( and secure a lovely brownstone in his childhood neighborhood signed in his mother’s name ) and is a year out from graduating and letting mma be the only reason his name would ever appear in the tabloids .

⋆ ╰ 𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

personality wise , i describe sam as the stupid bitch w big npc energy , if u want him to talk u gotta talk to him first and even then he might just give u that hostile stare and just .. . . remain silent KSDFSDF

he’s about as NOT a people person as physically possible , would really be content just sticking to his inner circle for like the rest of his life without concern . he seems like this rude stand-offish dick but the truth is he’s PAINFULLY SHY and has a p severe case of generalized anxiety disorder so interactions ? w new ppl ? are a HARD pass

did i mention he’s on steriods bc that def adds to his anxiety and hostility ! lmao ! he started juicing in high school when his dad kept pressuring him for football and how he was “ twice your size ” at that age , n he HATES the dude but he’s also lowkey insecure abt his lack of a father figure so ? used daddy’s money to start his first cycle and pay off to test clean and now he’s been hooked on and off . he’s currently starting a new cycle to bulk up for the new season and prep for the 2020 olympics but swears he wont be on them forever :/

they make him SUPER aggressive when set off , it’s a decent thing that sam’s so monotone and shy that he’s also pretty laid back and kinda hard to rile up . he really doesn’t take much personally and won’t do a huge “ chest pumped bro lets do this ” show bc he ? thinks all those guys who do that are tools LMAO but find the right button to push n he’ll become the very thing he despises !

if u can get past the literal awkward silence and resting bitch face , sammy is actually really well known for being just a generally decent guy . the perception is often that he’s a dick bc he think’s he’s better than a lot of ppl , but the truth is he’s just too nervous to start conversations n most ppl assume its an ego thing vs a “ i’m about to piss myself thinking abt all the ways this convo can go wrong so i’ll just not talk and glare @ u instead ” thing

if he had his shit together he would definitely qualify as a dad type , but since he doesn’t , he won’t SSHSHSHSH but he’s really just a softie deep down , he has a stupid as HELL sense of humor and is really objective and level headed . the gryffindor in him is DEEPLY loyal , like to the death , but he’s got lots of hufflepuff in the sense that he’s really willing to get his hands dirty to help those in need . u need help moving ? someone to keep u company while u babysit ? feel nervous walking alone after class at night ? sammy might leave u on read if u text him bc he’s a Dumb Bitch like that but he’ll show up on the dot , hands in pockets , exactly where u asked him to be ready to do what u asked him to do . the mans is a super hard worker

he def still feels kinda weird at uni ? he’s p smart but some of the classes unrelated to athletics and anatomy have given him a REALLY tough time ( dance appreciation for his fine arts credit almost tanked his gpa LMAO ) and he’s not top of his class or anything but ppl still try to talk to him bc of the whole “ famous dad , future olympian ” thing , which he can pick up from a mile a way and makes him super uncomfortable . even being in a frat w a bunch of old money rich boys makes him DEF feel like the odd one out , and he’s just counting down the days until he’s OUT OF HERE

in conclusion : i love u all . lets suffer together . :~)

#rank:intro #love u all sm :' (#i'll have emmy's done tomorrow i hope !

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allforthecourtt · 6 years

Text

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

#rereading aftg

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