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vickyvicarious · 3 years

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Leverage Redemption Pros/Cons List

Okay! Now that I've finally finished watching the first half of Leverage: Redemption, I thought I'd kind of sum up my overall impression. Sort of a pro/con list, except a little more just loosely structured rambles on each bullet point rather than a simple list.

This got way out of hand from what I expected so I'm going to put it all under a cut. If you want the actual bulletpoint list, here it is:

PROS

References

Continuity

Nate

Representation

Themes

New Characters

General Vibe

CONS

'Maker and Fixer'

Episode Twins

Sophie's Stagefright

Thiefsome

You might notice the pros list is longer, and that's because I do love the show! I really like most of what it does, and my gripes are fewer in number and mostly smaller in size. But they do exist and I felt like talking about them as well as the stuff I loved.

PROS

References

There is clearly so much love and respect for the original show here. Quite aside from the general situation, there's a lot of references to individual episodes or character traits from the first show. For example, Parker's comments on disliking clowns, liking puppets, disliking horses, stabbing vs. tasing people. The tasing was an ongoing thing in the original, the stabbing happened once (S1) but was referenced later in the original show, the clown thing only had a few mentions scattered across the entire original show. The puppet thing was mentioned once in S5, and the horses thing in particular was only brought up in S1 once. But they didn't miss the chance to put the nod to it in there; in fact with those alone we see a good mix of common/ongoing jokes and smaller details.

We got "dammit Hardison" and "it's a very distinctive..." but also Eliot and Parker arguing about him catering a mob wedding, and Eliot being delighted by lemon as a secret ingredient in a dish in that same episode (another reference to the mob episode). Hardison and Eliot banter about "plan M", an ongoing joke starting from the very first episode of the original show. We see Sophie bring up Hardison's accent in the Ice Job, Parker also makes reference to an early episode when describing "backlash effect" to Breanna, in an episode that also references her brother slightly if you look for it.

Heck, the last episode of these first eight makes a big deal out of nearly reproducing the iconic opening lines of the original show with Fake Nate's "we provide... an advantage." And I mean, all the "let's go steal a ___" with Harry being confused about how to use them.

Some of the lines are more obviously references to the original show, but they strike a decent balance with smaller or unspoken stuff as well, and also mix in some references between the team to events we the audience have never seen. If someone was coming into this show for the first time, they wouldn't get all the easter egg joy but most of the references would stand on their own as dialogue anyway. In general, I think they struck a good balance of restating needed context for new viewers while still having enough standalone good lines and more-fun-if-you-get-it callbacks.

Continuity

Similar to the last point, but slightly different. The characters' development from the original to now is shown so well. I'm not going to go on about this too long, but the writers clearly didn't want to let the original characters stagnate during the offscreen years. There was a lot of real thought put into how they would change or not.

It's really written well. We can see just how cohesive a team Parker, Hardison, and Eliot became. We get a sense of how they've spent their time, and there's plenty of evidence that they remained incredibly close with Sophie and Nate until this past year. The way everyone defers to Parker is different from the original show and clearly demonstrates how she's been well established as the leader for years now - they show this well even as Parker is stepping back to let Sophie take point in these episodes. Eventually that is actually called out by Sophie in the eighth episode, so we might see more mastermind Parker in the back half of the show, maybe. But even with her leading, it's clear how collaborative the team has become, with everyone bouncing ideas off one another and adding their input freely. Sometimes they even get so caught up they leave the newbies completely in the dust. But for the most part we get a good sense of how the Parker/Hardison/Eliot team worked with her having final say on plans but the others discussing everything together. A little bit more collaborative than it was with Nate at the helm.

Meanwhile Sophie has built a home and is deeply attached to it. She and Nate really did retire, at least for the most part, and she was living her happy ending until he died. She's out of practice but still as skilled as ever, and we're shown how much her grief has changed her and how concerned the others are for her.

There's a lot of emphasis on how they all look after one another and the found family is clearer than ever. Sophie even calls Hardison "his father's son" - clearly referring to Nate.

Nate

Speaking of Nate! They handled his loss so, so well. His story was the most complete at the end of the last show, and just from a narrative point, losing him makes the most sense of all the characters. But the way he dies and his impact on the show and the characters continues. It's very respectful to who he was - who he truly was.

Nate was someone they all loved, but he was a deeply flawed individual. Sophie talks about how he burned too hot, but at least he burned - possibly implying to me that his drinking was related to his death. In any case, there's no mystery to it. We don't know how he died but that's not what's most important about his death. This isn't a quest for revenge or anything... it's just a study of grief and trying to heal.

Back to who he really was real quick - the show doesn't eulogize him as better than he was. They're honest about him. From the first episode's toast they raise in his memory, to the final episode where Sophie and Eliot are deeply confused by Fake Nate singing his praises, the team knows who he was. They don't erase his flaws... but at the same time he was so clearly theirs. He was family, he was the man they trusted and loved and followed into incredibly dangerous situations, and whose loss they all still feel deeply.

That said, the show doesn't harp on this point. They reference him, but they don't overwhelm new viewers with a constant barrage of Nate talk. It always serves a purpose, primarily for Sophie's storyline of moving through her grief. Anyway, @robinasnyder said all of this way better than me here, so go read that as well.

Representation

Or should I say, Jewish Hardison, Autistic Parker, Queer Breanna!

Granted, Hardison's religion isn't quite explicitly stated to be Jewish so much as he mentions that his "Nana runs a multi-denominational household", but nonetheless. He gets the shows big thesis statement moment, he gets a beautiful speech about redemption that is the emotional cornerstone of that episode and probably Harry's entire arc throughout the show. And while I'm not Jewish myself, most of what I've seen from Jewish fans is saying that Hardison's words here were excellent representation of their beliefs. (@featherquillpen does a great job in that meta of contextualizing this with his depiction in the original show as well.)

Autistic Parker, however, is shown pretty dang blatantly. She already was very much coded as autistic in the original show, but the reboot has if anything gone further. She sees a child psychologist because she likes using puppets to represent emotions, she stims, she uses cue cards and pre-written scripts for social interactions, there's mention of possible texture sensitivity and her clothes are generally more loose and comfortable. She's gotten better at performing empathy and understanding how people typically work, but it's specifically described as something she learned how to do and she views her brain as being different from ones that work that way (same link). Again, not autistic myself but from what I've seen autistic fans find a lot to relate to in her portrayal. And best of all, this well-rounded and respectful depiction does not show any of these qualities as a lack on her part. There's no more of those kinda ableist comments or "what's wrong with you" jokes that were in the original show. Parker is the way she is, and that allows her to do things differently. She's loved for who she is, and any effort made to fit in is more just to know how so that she can use it to her advantage when she wants to on the job - for her convenience, not others' comfort.

Speaking of loved for who you are.... okay, again, queer Breanna isn't confirmed onscreen yet, and I don't count Word of God as true canon. But I can definitely believe we're building there. Breanna dresses in a very GNC way, and just her dialogue and, I dunno, vibes seem very queer to me. She has a beautiful speech in the Card Game Job about not belonging or being accepted and specifically mentions "the way they love" as one of those things that made her feel like she didn't belong. And that scene is given so much weight and respect. (Not to mention other hints throughout the episode about how much finding her own space meant to her.) Also, the whole theme of feeling rejected and the key for her to begin really flourishing is acceptance for who she is, not any desire for her to be anyone else, is made into another big moment. Yeah, textually that moment is about her feeling like she has to fill Hardison's shoes and worrying about her past, but the themes are there, man.

Themes

I talked a bit about this yesterday, so I'm mostly just going to link to that post, but... this series so far is doing a really good job in my opinion of giving people arcs and having some good themes. Namely the redemption one, from Hardison's speech (which I'm gonna talk a little more about in the next point), and this overall theme of growing up and looking to the future (from above the linked post).

New Characters

Harry and Breanna are fantastic characters. I was kind of worried about Harry being a replacement Nate, but... he really isn't. Sure, he's the older white guy who has an angsty past but it's in a very different way and his personality and relationships with the rest of the crew are correspondingly different. I think the dynamic of a very friendly, cheerful, kind, but still bad guy (as @soundsfaebutokay points out) is a great one to show, and he's got a really cool arc I think of learning to be a better person, and truly understanding Hardison's point about redemption being a process not a goal. His role on the team also has some interesting applications and drawbacks, as @allegorymetaphor talked about. I've kind of grown to think that the show is gradually building up to an eventual Sophie/Harry romance a ways down the line, and I'm actually here for it. Regardless, his relationships with everyone are really interesting.

As for Breanna, first of all and most importantly I love her. Secondly, I think she's got a really interesting story. She's a link to Hardison's past, and provides a really interesting perspective for us as someone younger who has grown up a) looking up to Leverage and b) in a bleaker and more hopeless world. Breanna's not an optimist, and she's not someone who was self-sufficient and unconcerned with the rest of the world at the start, like everyone else. She believes that the world sucks and she wants it to be better, but she doesn't know how to make that happen. She outright says she's desperate and that's why she's working with Leverage. At the same time, Breanna is pretty down on herself and wants to prove herself but gets easily shaken by mistakes or being scolded, which is a stark contrast to Hardison's general self-confidence. There are several times when she starts to have an idea then hesitates to share it, or expects her emotions to be dismissed, or gets really disheartened when she's corrected or rejected, or dwells on her mistakes, or when she is accepted or praised she usually takes a surprised beat and is shy about it (she almost always looks down and away from the person, and her smile is often small or startled). Breanna looks up to the team so much (Parker especially, then probably Eliot) and she wants to prove herself. It's going to be so good to see her grow.

General Vibe

A brief note, but it seems a fitting one to end on. The show keeps it's overall tone and feeling from the original show. The fun, the competency porn, the bad guys and clever plans and happy endings. It's got differences for sure, but the characters are recognizably themselves and the show as a whole is recognizably still Leverage. For the most part they just got the feeling right, and it's really nice.

CONS (no, not that kind)

'Maker and Fixer'

So when I started writing this meta earlier today, I was actually a lot more annoyed by the lack of unique 'maker' skills being shown by Breanna. Basically the only time she tries to use a drone, the very thing she introduced herself as being good at, it breaks instantly. I was concerned about her being relegated into just doing what Hardison did, instead of bringing her own stuff to the table. But the seventh episode eased some of those fears, and the meta I just wrote for someone else asking about Breanna's 'maker' skills as shown this season made me realize there's more nuance than that. I'd still like to have seen more of that from her, but for now the fact that we don't see a lot of 'maker' from her so far seems more like a character decision based in Breanna's insecurities.

Harry definitely gets more 'inside man' usage. His knowledge as a 'fixer' comes in handy several times. Nonetheless, I'm really curious if there are any bigger ways to use it, aside from him just adding in some exposition/insight from time to time. I'm not even entirely sure how much more they can pull from this premise in terms of relevant skills, but I hope there's more and I'd like to see it. Maybe a con built more around him playing a longer role playing his old self, like they tried in the Tower Job? Maybe it's more a matter of him needed distance from that part of his past, being unable to face it without lashing out - in that case it could be a good character growth moment possibly for him to succeed in being Scummy Lawyer again down the line? I dunno.

Episode Twins

This was something small that kind of bothered me a little earlier in the season. It's kind of the negative side to the references, I guess? And I'm not even sure how much it annoys me really, but I just kinda noticed and felt sort of weird about it.

Rollin' on the River has a lot of references/callbacks to the The Wedding Job.

The Tower Job has a lot of references/callbacks to The White Rabbit Job.

The Paranormal Hacktivity Job has a lot of references/callbacks to the Future Job.

I guess I was getting a little concerned that there would be a 'match this episode' situation where almost every new Redemption episode is very reminiscent of an old one. I love the callbacks, but I don't want to see a lack of creativity in this new show, and this worried me for a minute. Especially when it was combined with all three of those episodes dealing with housing issues of some kind. Now, that's a huge concern for a lot of people, and each episode has its own take on a different problem within that huge umbrella, but it still got me worried about a lack of variety in topics/cases.

The rest of the episodes failing to line up so neatly in my head with older episodes helped a lot to ease this one, though. Still, this is my complaining section so I figured I'd express my concerns as they were at the time. Even if I no longer really worry about it much.

Sophie's Stagefright

Yeah, I know this is just a small moment in a single episode, but it annoyed me! Eliot made a bit of a face at Sophie going onstage, but I thought it was just him being annoyed at the general situation. However, they started out with her being awful up there until she realized the poem was relevant to the con - at which point her reading got so much better.

This felt like a complete betrayal of Sophie's beautiful moment at the end of the original show where she got over her trouble with regular acting and played Lady Macbeth beautifully in front of a full theater of audience members. This was part of the con, but only in the sense that it gave her an alibi/place to hide, and I always interpreted it as her genuinely getting over her stagefright problems. It felt like such a beautiful place to end her arc for that show, especially after all her time spent directing.

Now, her difficulty onstage in the Card Game Job was brief and at the very beginning of being up on stage. @rinahale suggested to me that maybe it was a deliberate tactic to draw the guy's attention, and the later skill was simply her shifting focus to make the sonnet easier for Breanna to listen to and interpret, but he seemed more enraptured when she was doing well than otherwise in my opinion and it just doesn't quite sit well with me. My other theory was that maybe she just hasn't been up on stage in a long time, and much like she complaining about being rusty at grifting before the team pushed her into trying, she got nervous for a moment at the very beginning. The problem there is that I think she'd definitely still get involved in theater even when she and Nate were retired. I guess she could've quit after he died, and a year might be long enough to make her doubt herself again, but... still.

I just resent that they even left it ambiguous at all. Sophie's skills should be solid on stage at this point in my opinion.

Thiefsome

...And now we come to my main complaint. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the show.

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I had my doubts from the beginning about the thiefsome becoming canon onscreen. I thought the famous "the OT3 is safe" tweet could easily just mean that they are all still alive and well, or all still working together, without giving us confirmation of a romantic relationship. Despite this, the general fandom expectations/hopes really got to me, especially with the whole "lock/pick/key" thing. I tried to temper my expectations again when the character descriptions came out and only mentioned Hardison loving Parker, not Eliot, but I still got my hopes up.

The thing is, I was disappointed pretty quickly.

The very first episode told me that in all likelihood we would never see Hardison and Parker and Eliot together in a romantic sense. Oh, there was so much coding. So much hinting. So much in the way of conversations that were about Parker/Hardison's relationship but then Eliot kept getting brought into them. They were portrayed as a unit of three.

But then there was this.

I love all of those scenes of Parker and Hardison being intimate and loving and comfortable with one another and their relationship. I really do. But it didn't escape my notice that there's nothing of the sort with Eliot. If they wanted a canon onscreen thiefsome, it would by far make the most sense to just have it established from the start. But there aren't any scenes where Eliot shares the same kind of physical closeness with either of them like they do each other. Parker and Hardison kiss; he doesn't kiss anyone. They have several clearly romantic conversations when alone; he gets important conversations with both but the sense of it being romantic isn't there.

Establishing Eliot as part of the relationship after Hardison is gone just... doesn't make any sense. It would be more likely to confuse new viewers, to make them wonder if Parker is cheating on Hardison with Eliot, or if they have a Y shaped relationship rather that a triangle. It would be so much clumsier.

Still, up until the Double-Edged-Sword Job I believed the writers might keep it at this level of 'plausible hinting but not quite saying'. There's a lot of great stuff with all of them, and I never expecting making out or whatever anyway; a cheek-kiss was about the height of my hopes to be honest. I mostly just hoped for outright confirmation and, failing that, I was happy enough to have the many hints and implications.

But then Marshal Maria Shipp came along. And I don't really have anything against her as a character - in fact, I think she has interesting story potential and will definitely come back. But the episode framed her fight with Eliot as a sexyfight TM, much like his fight with Mikel back in the day. And then his flirting with her rode the line a little of "he's playing her for the con" and "he's genuinely flirting." The scene where he tells her his real name is particularly iffy, but actually was the one that convinced me he was playing her. Because he seems to be watching her really closely, and to be very concerned about her figuring out who he really is. I am very aware though that I'm doing a lot of work to interpret it the way I want. On surface appearance, Eliot's just flirting with an attractive woman, like he did on the last show. And that's probably the intention, too.

But the real nail in the coffin for me was when Sophie compared herself and Nate to Eliot and Maria. That was a genuine scene, not the continuation of the teasing from before. And Sophie is the one whose insight into people is always, always trustworthy. She is family to the thiefsome. For this to make any sense, either Eliot/Parker/Hardison isn't a thing, or they are and Sophie doesn't know - and I can't imagine why in the hell she wouldn't know.

Any argument to make them still canon leaves me unsatisfied. If she knows and they haven't admitted it to her - why wouldn't they, after all this time? Why would she not have picked up on it even without an outright announcement? Some people suggested they wouldn't admit it because they thought Nate would be weird about it, but that doesn't seem any more in character to me than the other possibilities. In fact, the only option that doesn't go against my understanding of these people and their observational abilities/the close relationship they share.... is that the thiefsome is not a thing.

And furthermore, the implication of this conversation - especially the way it ended, with Eliot stomping off looking embarrassed while Sophie smiled knowingly - is that Eliot will get into another relationship onscreen. Maybe not a full-blown romantic relationship. But the Maria Shipp tension is going to be resolved somehow, and at this point I'm half-expecting a hook-up simply because of Sophie's reaction and how much I trust her judgement of such things. Even if she's letting her grief cloud her usual perceptiveness... it feels iffy.

It just kinda feels like I wasn't even allowed to keep my "interpret these hints/maybe they are" thiefsome that I expected after the first couple episodes convinced me we wouldn't get outright confirmation. (I mean, I will anyway, and I love the hints and allusions regardless.) And while I'm definitely not the kind of fan who is dependent on canon for my ships, and still enjoy all their interactions/will keep right on headcanoning them all in a relationship, it's just.... a bummer.

Feels like a real cop-out. Like the hints of Breanna being queer are enough to meet their quota and they won't try anything 'risky' like a poly relationship. I dunno. It's annoying.

That's the end of the list! Again, overall I love the new show a lot and have few complaints.

#leverage #leverage redemption #leverage spoilers #leverage meta #my meta #this turned into a BIG ol ramble #i planned to write like a couple of sentences for each point but noooo

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chdarling · 4 years

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One nineteen thirty-eight/nine ❤

Thanks for the ask darling!! Full disclosure I am getting sleepy but I don’t want to go to sleep, great combo, so I apologize if these are increasingly incoherent lmao

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Someone is facing an existential dilemma, a deep and unspeakable truth that will force them to unearth past trauma and confront the darker parts of themselves that they desperately want to hide — but they’re making jokes about it 🙃

2. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Hmm, this will probably sound weird but my muse is my feet. I write while I walk. Pre-covid this was ideal because I used to walk to work. Now I just tread circles around the garden and go for hikes. I think best on my feet (not to be confused with being quick on my feet because I most certainly am not) and if I’m ever working at my desk and get stuck literally all I have to do most times is get up and pace the room and things will sort themselves out.

Ok I’m getting into the oversharing portion of the evening but whatever! Muse feet! Tell your friends!

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

I mean, all of them. I know that’s a cop out but that little email notification is a true balm to the soul lol. But honestly I go absolutely feral when people pick up on little Easter eggs and threads that are scattered throughout the chapters. It’s so incredibly validating when you’ve had an inside joke with yourself for such a long time and then suddenly here’s someone else, getting it 😂❤️

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I’ve been really lucky that 99% of people have been absolutely lovely. Every once in a while I’ll get something kinda mean, usually through PM or anon. Pretty rare though, most people are super kind or at least respectful. I’ll engage with critical comments, but I ignore nastiness. I don’t have the emotional energy for that. This is a fun hobby that I do for free. If you wanna be mean to me you gotta contribute at least 3% matching to my retirement ok. 😎

#ch answers #ok i should go to sleep

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make-it-mavis · 4 years

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Homesick (Entry #29)

(cw: drunkenness, heated verbal fighting, blood) ----------

01/15/88 1:12 PM

Hey.

Writing all this down hasn’t been easy, you know.

When I started, it was hard to even get anything from my brain to paper. It seemed even more pointless than it does now, for one thing, but for another, it forced me to remember things I’d rather just forget. All these memories are still raw. I haven’t been able to bury them yet, as much as I’ve tried, and writing about them, thinking about them, just feels like ripping open dirty scabs. There are memories so awful that they keep me awake, they infect my dreams, they make me physically ill. Those are just the bad ones.

The good ones hurt about ten times more.

That’s why, sitting down to write this entry now, it feels like I’ve taken nearly half an hour just to get this far. I remember everything, down to each minute detail, so it’s all here in my head, already written. Believe me, I read it all the time. I can hardly put it down, despite my best efforts. I can’t say whether it’s good or bad for my well-being, when it comes down to it. I will say that every word I read feels like its own tiny dagger in my heart.

I’m not sure whether writing them down will feel like pulling the daggers out or twisting them. Best I can figure is, I’m gonna bleed either way, right?

So, let’s take a look at what is, without a doubt, the worst good memory of my life.

Before walking through your door, I paused. I don’t know what I was waiting for. I just wavered a bit and listened to the distant and dissonant riffs of your game’s theme that was nearly drowned out by my heartbeat in my ears. I’d been in your trailer not moments before, and left with the intention of really leaving, of going back to my game and presumably drinking more, breaking stuff, or most likely, both. But I didn’t get a few paces away before I stopped short and turned around. Something tugged at me and urged me to go back in. Like I had unfinished business, or I’d forgotten something. Apparently, it was important enough to call me back into a situation that I had clearly wanted to leave not moments before.

It took something pretty bad for us to part ways while still drunk. Whatever ugly situation I’d just left, I was about to make it uglier. On purpose.

I’ve got a talent for that.

Biting the bullet, I pushed through the door, slammed it shut, and locked it.

It was dark. You’d cranked the blackout shutters just a bit shy of closed, so it was still bright compared to a dark room in Niceland, but shady enough that the glow of your eyes really stood out when you turned to look at me. You were braced against the kitchen sink, and you were holding a bottle that you’d just pulled away from your mouth. I got the impression that you’d just drained most of it in one go by the way you smacked your tongue, and, honestly, you looked way too rough to be sipping anything. Your hair was a disaster (an unintentional disaster), and the distinct pride in your posture was just drowning. You looked slower and heavier than I ever thought I’d see you. I didn’t like it.

You didn’t like what you saw, either, if the blunt glare in your eyes was any indicator. You took another hefty swig, sighed wetly, and growled, “You said you were leavin’.”

I held my ground at first, but I could feel something awful pushing up from my chest. “I did,” I growled right back, “and I’m back now.”

“You forget somethin’?”

“Yeah. I forgot to tell you--” I paused, as my sentence had tumbled completely out of my drunken head, “I decided I can’t leave, ‘cause someone has to tell you how ridiculous you’re being, and ain’t nobody else here to do it.”

Your glare sharpened, and you stood a bit straighter. “‘The cuss you just say?”

I stepped forward. “You heard me. You’re being stupid. You’re making such a huge deal over nothing.”

“I--” you pointed to yourself, “haven’t been doing anything! You’re the one who’s been acting weird all night! What is with you?! Did your sense of fun just fly outta your pocket, or what?! Go on n’ just scram ‘til you find it again!”

I took major offense to that. “I’M not being fun?! I’m always fun, dickbag! You’ve been a mopey, grouchy, pissy, boring, complete and total drag all night, and I know why!”

“Oh, do freakin’ tell.”

I swiftly struck a nerve.

“You’re all hung up on this-- this Roadblasters garbage! It’s got you all--”

“Are you KIDDIN’ me?!” you snapped, stomping over just short of me, “That’s what you’re on about!? You think I’m some kinda pathetic, jealous loser?!”

“I’unno, you sure are acting like one! Over nothing! This is not a big deal!”

“I am not a loser, and I’ll never be a loser, because guess what? You’re right,” you dismissively backed off, strolling back to the sink to lounge against it, still reeking of barely-reined-in rage. “It’s not a big deal. You think I’m worried? No one’s ever even come close to stealing the crown from me. The gamers love a shiny new toy now n’ then, but they love me more. They’ll get bored and come back to me before the week is out.”

“You said that last week.”

Your eyes took on a threatening glint. “Yeah, so?”

I scoffed, “So, you gonna say it next week, too? I hate to be the one to spell it out for ya, buddy, but, those gamers? Odds are? They ain’t comin’ back.”

You paused, and there was something in your eyes that I hated. Well, not that I hated you for looking that way. I hated that I put that look there. There was a hint of this wretched sort of disbelief in them. They were angry, they were indignant, but they couldn’t believe I would say something like that. They couldn’t believe I would think something like that.

I hated that look. But I still felt I was in the right to say it. At the time.

You were too thrown to counter right away, so I continued. “The sooner you get that through your head, the better. You keep waitin’ for something that just ain’t gonna happen, you’ll only get more n’ more miserable.”

The shock in your eyes burned away into something far more hostile. You fired back sharply, with so much venom in your voice, “Right. Uh-huh. And is that what happened to you?”

It was my turn to be caught off-guard. I was expecting you to push back, of course. But when I caught a glimpse of where the argument was headed, my insides just twisted and boiled. I was angry. I wanted to finish you off before you could get into my head. I just… wasn’t ready to go down that road with you, down to things that could only be used to cause me pain, even if you weren’t wasted and pissed off. I needed to defend myself. That’s just the way it felt.

I know you were doing the exact same thing.

I stood, frozen solid, glaring daggers at you, just waiting for anything useful to come into my head. “No,” I began sloppily spinning lies, “but it could’ve. I got wise to it real quick once I realized that it doesn’t freakin’ matter.”

You wheezed a short, spiteful laugh, downed the rest of your drink, and tossed the bottle unceremoniously onto the counter. “‘Got wise,’” you spat, “what a joke. I bet the punchline is that you think you know what this feels like.”

It took me a second, but I decided to bite. “Yeah, T. No freakin’ crit, I do.”

“No,” you growled, slapped your palm back against the counter, and pushed yourself towards me. You imposed into my space, leaning in close, but I refused to budge. “You don’t. An Easter Egg couldn’t possibly get this. I’m the Good Guy.”

You knew how often I heard stuff like that. The steaming rainbows of crap I’ve gone through for who I am. And still, you went there. I know you were just angry, and I know, like me, you tend to say things you don’t mean when that happens. But damn if I didn’t feel betrayed. And damn if it was not about to get worse.

I prompted you quietly, “What’s that got to do with it?”

“So,” you hissed, “you don’t know what it’s like to have the gamers love you since the moment you were plugged in.”

Yeah. With that one sentence, you hurt me in ways I’d always feared you would.

My gut reaction, my first reflex, was to hurt you back. I can say and do some really terrible things when I’m hurt. I realize that more and more as I look back on all I’ve done in this story. But I think right around here is the worst of it. You struck deep enough to break out the ugliest part of me. So I struck back with the intent to cut even deeper.

“No!” I shouted, actually startling you a bit. “No, I don’t! And neither do you! The gamers DON’T LOVE YOU! They never HAVE!”

I’ll never forget the look on your face when I said that.

I continued, “They don’t love ANYBODY! They only like you ‘til they get BORED, and then they DITCH you! You wanna tell me that’s LOVE?! You wanna tell me that’s anything I should WANT?! Why do YOU want it?! Why do you let them HURT YOU like this?! A gamer’s love is worth nothing! It’s not real! Why can’t you GET that?!”

You couldn’t retort. Not right away. You were just reeling for a second. Your drunken self staggered back a step and wavered a bit while you stared at me with a look I wish I could wipe from my memory.

Then that look was gone.

“Oh,” you nodded, straightening up and stepping back on your heels. “Oh, okay. I get it. I hear ya loud n’ clear, baby. You think just ‘cause the gamers never loved YOU, that means they can’t love anyone, right?”

You sort of already said that. Hearing you say it plainly hurt way more. Then, just when I thought you couldn’t cut any deeper, you sliced me down to the bone.

“You know not everyone’s coded equal, don’t you?” you began. “Look, sweetheart, I’m sorry to say you’re the only walkin’, talkin’ Easter Egg in this joint, but that’s the thing. You’re one of a kind. You can't act like the way the gamers see you is how they see anyone else. You keep sayin’ it doesn’t matter if the gamers love you or not, and you’re right! It doesn’t! It matters if they love the Good Guys! That love’s everything! Our very games depend on it! Litwak’s not gonna unplug a game just ‘cause the gamers aren’t in love with the cute little surprise that probably won’t be seen anyway, so what’s the point? Don’t tell me that gamers can’t love anyone just ‘cause they’re not wasting their love on you!”

...Yeah.

You sure did say that.

That shook me. Literally. I tensed up and felt myself quaking all over. I didn’t know what I was feeling -- it was some sick, haphazard attempt at anger, but it hurt so bad. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break everything. I just wanted to turn over the entire trailer, throw you out on the grass, spit in your face, and leave you to rot with the misery that I knew you couldn’t handle alone.

But that would be a surrender, wouldn’t it?

So, I limited myself to screaming.

I stuttered, lagged, gripped onto my hair and actually tore out a sizable clump of it. “You-- YOU--” I shouted, moving in close to you, “You IGNORANT, STUBBORN, CONCEITED, steaming heap of GARBAGE! Will you just LISTEN TO ME, for ONCE IN YOUR LIFE?!”

“I AM LISTENING,” you snarled right back, “All I hear is some RAVING LUNATIC making a complete ASS of herself, talkin’ about crap she doesn’t understand!”

“I’m not an ASS! You’re just TOO STUPID to realize I’m TRYING TO HELP YOU! Help you stop WALLOWING in your own DENIAL and realize THEY’RE-- NOT-- COMING-- BACK!!”

“YES!” you advanced with enough force to make me begin to stagger backwards. “THEY ARE!”

“No, they’re NOT, TURBO! Even if SOME of them do--”

“ALL! OF THEM! WILL COME BACK! ROADBLASTERS IS JUST SOME RUSTY BOX OF SCRAP METAL -- I’M THE TOP DOG! I’M KING OF THIS ARCADE! THEY CAN’T LEAVE ME!”

“So what if they DID?! Why do you NEED THEM?!”

“I DON’T! I DON’T NEED ANYONE!”

“You JUST SAID you do!”

“Not ME! My GAME! My GAME needs them!”

“Your GAME?! You think-- YOU--” I seethed, “You’re so-- I can’t freakin’ STAND you! Why do you have to be KING OF EVERYTHING?! Isn’t there ANYTHING more important to you than your EGO?!”

“Oh, you think--” you pointed a shaky finger, “you think this is just about my PRIDE?!”

“Yeah! I do! Literally NOTHING else is at stake, here!”

“EVERYTHING!” your hands curled into claws, “EVERYTHING IS AT STAKE! Aren’t you LISTENING?! My GAME is at stake!”

“Oh, for the love of-- You’re not getting UNPLUGGED! Maybe it’s hard to see from your pedestal way up above our tiny world down here, but being second best DOESN’T get your game killed!”

“Doesn’t it?” your voice dropped suddenly, into nearly a whisper, and your eyes went as wide as saucers. A clipped, strained laugh slipped out of you. “Doesn’t it, though?”

I had no idea what you were going on about, but your sudden shift disturbed me a bit. I just furrowed my brow and stared at you, at a loss, waiting for you to make sense.

You continued, speaking very quickly, “One day, a game’s at the very top. Everyone loves it. It’s Litwak’s favorite. Gamers crowd around and laugh and fight over who’s next, just for a chance to play. No one could ever picture the arcade without it. And then the very next day, this newer, shinier hunk of machinery--”

You threw an arm out, as if gesturing to it, and your voice began to quake. “This usurper with ‘better graphics’ and ‘better music’ and freakin’ guns on cars just waltzes right in and yanks the crown right off the king’s head. Then what? I’ll tell you what. The crowds, the laughter, the fighting over a turn? Gone. Now it’s just a couple gamers at a time. Time passes, now its one gamer at a time. Soon, hardly any come at all. Some other even newer game takes the crown from the usurper, and by then, even that game is old news, so what does that make the very first king?”

Uneasy volume crackled into your voice. There was a distinct note of urgency. You were just stressing yourself out the more you spoke. But, still, you continued, without allowing a breath for me to step in.

“Nothing. It makes him nothing. He’s not old news. He’s no news at all. Litwak finds a new favorite. Gamers don’t even glance at him. They don’t even LOOK. He just drives in the same Dev-forsaken circle all day ‘til his cabinet’s so covered in dust, no one even RECOGNIZES it anymore. Then-- Then when that day comes, when Litwak needs space for some new, exciting idiot cabinet, no one even CARES when he-- when he finally--”

You crumpled into yourself a bit. You plainly shook, like you were about to burst. I knew what I was looking at. I never thought I’d see it in you, but I knew what it was. I knew what it’s like. How it feels.

Truth be told, I realized that watching you break down... felt like looking in a mirror. That’s when I really figured out just why I’d come back into your trailer in the first place.

I won’t say that I wasn’t at least a little nervous. But I also knew it could never be as scary to anyone else as it is to you. I’m sure plenty of sprites would have told me to run, but I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. And if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t have hurt you either. So, like hell was I going to leave. I resolved with iron-clad stubbornness to stay. I backed up against the front door and tried to dial myself back from the hurt and rage I’d been in seconds ago. I had to keep calm and keep still. As long as you knew where I was, I knew you would steer clear.

And I watched uselessly as you had a good ol’ fashioned Mavis-style meltdown.

“WHEN HE FINALLY UNPLUGS THE DAMN THING!!”

You whirled around and slammed your fist against the fridge. Magnets clattered to the floor.

“BAM! GONE! WHEELED OUT THE FRONT DOOR INTO NOTHING!”

You whipped open the fridge door and slammed it back with enough force to send things falling and clattering together inside.

Blindly, drunkenly, with no rhyme or reason, you paced the small space, stumbling into things and attacking them in frustration. It was the first time I’d seen someone else freak out the way I do. I’ll admit that it wasn’t fun to watch. I did freeze up with more anxiety than I thought I would. Not over what you might do, but over what I should have done. I felt like I should have known what to do, since I had so much experience in this field. But I didn’t. I had no idea how to react or respond, let alone help. I barely know how to handle it when I break down myself, and I know that when I’m in a blind rage, I definitely don’t want help. So how could I help you?

My first, feeble attempt took the form of me just saying, “Hey-- Hey-- Turbo-- C’mon, cool it--!”

You carried on, not even hearing me, “SEE-- YOU DON’T GET IT! YOU COULD NEVER GET IT! YOU DON’T KNOW THE PRESSURE! I HAVE TO KEEP MY GAME ALIVE! THE SECOND I STOP FIGHTING TO STAY ON TOP, I’VE ALREADY LOST! MY GAME’S GONE -- I’M GONE!”

You tore a cabinet door off its hinges.

“I’M GONE IF I GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP! I’M GONE IF GO GAMELESS AND WASTE AWAY! IS THAT NOTHING?! ISN’T THAT A BIG DEAL?! AM I BEING STUPID?!”

You swiped a stack of plates to the floor -- it was loud, but they didn’t break. Plastic.

Not to say you were faultless, but guilt just writhed around in my gut. I was the one who upset you enough to make you break down like that. I know how much it sucks, and I hate that I was the one to trigger it in you. Like I said, I turned an ugly situation uglier. My drunken, upset, hideously miserable brain just couldn’t quite fathom why I did it. I knew why I really came back in. I just wished I hadn’t taken so long to figure it out, and that I hadn’t set us both back so freakin’ far before I did. I’m really quite adept at making huge, huge messes, but cleaning them up escapes me, even when I’m sober. So, completely inebriated, unable to just stand by any longer, I made a mistake.

I tried to move closer while you weren’t even looking.

“I’D BE HISTORY! NO-- NO, I’D BE MYTH! N-NO -- EVEN MYTHS ARE REMEMBERED! HISTORY, LEGENDS, MYTHS -- ONLY WINNERS END UP THERE! WHO’S GONNA REMEMBER A LOSER?! I WON’T BE A LOSER! I WON’T!”

You swept your arm across the counter, throwing all the empty bottles from a long night of drinking everywhere, and those that fell did actually break. A couple didn’t quite make it to the floor. Shaking hard, your hand just barely managed to grab one, and you turned your back to me. For a second, your voice jumped into a sort of sing-songy wheeze.

“Hey, remember that game, Turbo-Time? Huh? What’s that? Turbo? Never heard of him. Doesn’t ring a bell. Who’s Turbo? Huh?”

I moved a little bit closer, trying to side-step the broken glass on the floor. I was way too far from my starting point. You couldn’t have known, in the state you were in. You weren't even facing me. I knew that. Why did I move? Why did I sneak? Why didn’t I say anything?

You went eerily quiet for a minute, quivering over the sink, holding your head with one hand, like your mind was going to fall out. Then, whatever was holding you back snapped.

“WHO’S TURBO?!”

Without a glance, you whipped around and threw the glass bottle with all your enraged might. You didn’t know I was there. You thought you were aiming away.

All the same, you threw it right at me.

It didn’t hit, not directly. I dodged just in time to avoid a broken nose, shredded face, and probably a concussion, but I didn’t go unscathed. The bottle exploded on the wall behind me, and a hefty shard ricocheted and slapped me hard across my right cheek, slicing a long gash as it went.

I didn’t yelp. You didn’t notice. But that pain triggered something awful.

The lines between memories and buff hallucinations began to blur and intertwine. A memory I never wanted to see again suddenly began cutting into the one that was playing. My vision glitched. My ears popped with static. My heart started going absolutely nuts. The pain on my cheek multiplied as I felt jagged metal scratch score marks all over my face. My head began to split, my legs felt clamped in traps that squeezed tighter and tighter, and the clothes on my chest ripped into strings as letters started to carve deep into my skin. I heard barking, and I heard shouting. I don’t think I’d ever felt that scale of panic hit me so quickly. It took me right to the brink of total hysteria.

But, just like that, it was all sucked away from me. In a staggering shift, the grip of your hands and sound of your voice snapped me out of it.

You had grabbed onto my shoulders. My head fizzled and ached and my heart burned as my mind tried to settle back into the main memory. I stared at you blankly. I had my hand pressed to my cheek, so you didn’t see the cut. You just looked at me with these wide eyes, and… I’d never seen fear like that in your face before.

“WHO’S TURBO?!” you demanded, as the cold realization washed over me that you weren’t yelling at me anymore. “Who’s-- Who’s Turbo?!”

You were really asking.

Not just asking, but begging for an answer. Your face was desperate, and your tone was pleading, but I still had no idea what to say. Or what to do. I’d never been faced with an emotion like that before, and, honestly, you almost… sort of looked like a stranger. I’d never formally met that side of you before. There was nothing I could think to do but stare back at you, dumbfounded, and try to keep my footing while we teetered together.

I managed to barely breathe, “T… What...?”

“Who’s Turbo?” you asked again, your voice breaking down, your eyes searching mine like they’d lost something in them. Your grip on my shoulders urgently tightened a bit. “Who am I to them? Who am I to the arcade? Who am I to you--?!” you squeezed painfully tight for half a second, but after that, your grip loosened. “...If I’m not a winner? What if I lose everything?”

I couldn’t speak.

“Say I won’t…” you insisted. “Mavis, say I won’t. Say they’ll come back.”

I couldn’t.

“Wh--...” your eyes squinted at the edges with this… awful, fearful pain. You hissed pleadingly, “Say something!”

I wanted to. I wanted to say whatever it was that you needed to hear. I wanted to say even one single word. But what could I have said that would undo the damage I’d done? I’ll keep saying it, but this was beyond anything resembling my realm of expertise. I was useless. I’m still pretty ashamed of that, to this day.

Just then, you let up a bit. Eyes wide, staring right through me, you straightened up slowly and rubbed my shoulders where you’d been squeezing. “No,” you breathed. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to. ‘Cause I know they will. I’ll get ‘em back on my own.”

You backed off from me, stumbling on a bit of glass (thankfully, your shoes were on) before you made it back to the sink. You turned away from me and braced yourself against the counter, trying to catch your breath. For a minute, I thought you were going to puke right into the sink, so I looked away. I pulled my hand from my cheek wound to assess the damage, and saw a familiar sight that threw little glitches in my vision and sharp pain into my head.

White glove. Red streak.

In all those trips, this was what I’d been remembering.

At the time of seeing it, though, my only clear thought was that it was bleeding way too much to hide, and I was not looking forward to whatever drama it would add to the situation. There was enough already.

And it just kept getting better.

I heard wind begin to whistle in your throat. You tried to keep talking, but your breath was coming too rapidly. Your sentences were cut into jagged pieces.

“It’s fine-- It’s fine-- I’ll get ‘em back somehow-- I always do-- I always do-- They won’t leave-- They won’t-- I’ll win ‘em back-- somehow--” your breathing grew so sharp, it rattled your whole body, “but-- how-- they won’t-- they won’t even-- even look at me-- I’m right-- right behind them-- and they-- they-- they won’t-- even LOOK-- how can I-- get ‘em back-- if they WON’T LOOK-- LOOK AT ME?!”

Dread pooled in my stomach. In every other situation, with every other sprite, with any emotion even a fraction of what you were throwing at me, I’d have been clear out the door, on the other side of the arcade, acting like it never happened.

But, no.

You’re always the Dev-damned exception.

So, I tried to do… something. I put my hands out a bit and slid closer. “T, it’s okay. It’s-- Just breathe. You gotta breathe.”

You crumpled against the counter, and half-wheezed, “They-- I’m-- I can’t--...”

And your knees buckled. I envisioned you fainting right back onto the minefield of broken glass you’d created.

So, finally, finally, I really did something.

Before you could fall, I jumped to your rescue and managed to catch you under your arms. I think, in the heat of the moment, I forgot how heavy you were, and how drunk I was. I fell too. Not on the glass, though, thankfully. I managed to turn us around enough for me to stumble back hard against the fridge and slide to the floor, with your weight pinning me back. You made feeble attempts to struggle away, but you were losing strength fast. You were hyperventilating so hard, you couldn’t talk anymore. You just stared straight ahead, your hands slipping and squeezing my legs on either side of you.

I’d saved you from the glass. But I was still lost. I was so, so lost, and way too drunk. I knew you would faint if I didn’t manage to help you. So, what did I do?

I started panicking too. ‘Cause that helps.

“Okay,” I said, my own breathing coming too short. “Okay. Okay. Stop. You need to stop. This is really bad.”

Amazingly, telling you to stop didn’t work.

So, out of deep-rooted reflex, I told you louder. “Stop,” I insisted, “stop, stop, stop--” and I started yelling, “STOP IT, STOP IT! YOU’RE GONNA PASS OUT!!”

Even more amazingly, that made it worse. Bits of your voice rode out on your rapid breaths, but there were no words. Just distress. I think you were trying to sound angry, but you just sounded terrified. And I felt like I’d just kicked you while you were down. Like an asshole.

But, right at that point, something else took over. I realized that this was one of those problems I couldn’t solve by yelling (I hate those). I had to calm down if I was ever going to help you. I’m not even exactly an expert at calming myself down, but I’d wager that I knew more than you did. So, I just thought… I’d do what I had to, and make you do it with me.

I took a deep breath, put my hands on your chest and my head next to yours. “Okay,” I told you quietly, but definitely urgently, “okay, it’s okay. You’re okay. Just breathe. Take deep breaths. Deep breaths.”

You didn’t.

“T… T, come on,” I said, embarrassingly close to tears. “Listen to me. Please. You’re okay. You can do this. You’re gonna be okay -- just breathe-- just breathe--” I needed to take my own advice. I buried my face in your shoulder and tried to slow my breathing against the fabric, and then it hit me. I snatched my hat off my head and brought it over your mouth and nose. Your heels scraped against the floor and you tried fruitlessly to pry me off, but I wouldn’t budge. I was a little afraid of smothering you by mistake, honestly, but thankfully, that didn’t happen.

I told you, “Just-- shut up for a second-- Just trust me, okay? I promise it’ll help, but just-- just breathe. Deep breaths…” I thought for a second as I tried to steady myself. “Breathe with me, okay? Just breathe with me, I’ve got this. It’s okay.”

I inhaled, “In…” waited, and exhaled, “...out.”

It took a moment, but you surrendered. I felt your jumping chest try to rise and fall as I instructed, and it was working. The moment you realized it was, your hand flew up to mine, the one holding my hat to your face. I expected you to tear it off, to insist that you could take it from there, but you didn’t. If anything, you pushed it on tighter. Apparently, you didn’t want me to let go. I didn’t try to.

Eventually, I didn’t have to say anything. You just followed the slow rhythm of my chest pushing up against your back. And finally, we reached steady breathing together. For a while, that’s all we did. We rode that fragile, awkward silence after a screaming fight, probably the worst one we’d ever had.

“Okay,” I sighed again, and hung my head back against the fridge. “Okay. It’s okay.”

As we began to relax, our grips against the hat on your face let up. Your fingers were still laced over the back of my hand as you brought it down slowly and tiredly, but when I felt my hat slip from my fingers and into your lap, suddenly, you stopped. You paused, and looked closely at my palm. My stomach dropped. The blood. Of course you saw the blood.

It took a minute of staring, but once it clicked, you twisted your head back to look at me, looking… alarmed, I guess. Even more so once you saw the weeping gash on my cheek. I tried to avoid your gaze. I didn’t want it to be a big deal.

“Was…” you muttered, the pieces falling together. “Was that me?”

“...Well, I didn’t do this,” I muttered back, “but whatever, y’know. It’s just a little cut. Who cares?”

You didn’t answer. You just watched as I leaned as far away as I could. I saw your hand rise to the side of your face I’d been pushing my own against, and your fingers came back slick with my blood that had been smeared there.

You were silent. And then something about that silence went cold. You let go of my hand. You hung your head.

And you said bitterly, “Get out.”

I replied slowly, “...What?”

“Get out of here, Mavis. Go.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you here,” you growled.

My insides burned a little bit, but I pushed back without hesitation. “No.”

“You heard me -- I said get out!” you snapped and leaned forward, away from me, but didn’t look back. “Take a freakin’ hint, sweetheart! I got nothin’ for you here anymore! It’s over! Now, beat it, and don’t come back!”

Man.

I didn’t enjoy that.

It seemed like, in a single evening, you were making it your goal to check off every possible thing I’d always been afraid you would say to me. You just kept digging deeper into bleeding cuts, hitting harder on broken bones.

But, lucky for me, I’ve got a lot of HP. And for the second time that night, I found myself looking in a mirror. I wasn’t about to fall for my own tricks.

“No,” I insisted again, my voice shakier than I intended, although a lot of that must have been anger. “No. Screw you. I ain't leaving.”

You tried to shoot a sharp look over your shoulder, but I could tell you didn’t want to look at me. “Why?!”

“Because I know what you’re doing!”

“Throwing you out on your ass?! Yeah! What was your first clue?!”

You moved to stand, to leave me sitting there on the floor, alone, but I hooked my arms around you again and trapped you back against me. You fought, but I could tell your heart wasn’t in it.

“Let go of me!”

“No!” I snapped, “Stop it! Shut up! Don’t bullcrit me -- I know you don’t want me to go!”

“Have you been listening?!”

“Yeah! ‘I hear ya loud n’ clear, baby.’ You screwed up, big time! You didn't want me to see all that, and hell, I didn't want to see it either! But now you think I’m gonna ditch you over it! So you’re trying to leave me before I leave you! I know! Don’t try to pull that move on me -- I invented that move, okay?! Just stop!”

You went quiet. But you didn’t relax. You were tensed as if you would try to jump up the second I let go.

After a breath, I continued a bit softer, “You really think I’m gonna leave you? Just like that?”

You countered, your voice just burning with pain, “Well, I never thought that THEY’D leave me, either, and look how that’s turned out! So, why don’t you save us a lot of time and trouble, and just--”

“NO.”

You stopped dead. I squeezed you like a vice, definitely enough to ache at least a bit. I’d never been so offended in my life.

“No,” I said severely, “no, don’t you dare lump me in with them. Ever. I’m not one of them. I’m not just one of your adoring fans. I’m not gonna just suddenly get bored of you and replace you with some other racer. And I’m not gonna run away just because you freaked out. I’m not scared of this--” I half-lied, “--and I’m not scared of whatever else you don’t want me to see. I know why you don’t want me to. I know. Trust me. But I don’t care. It’s not gonna make me ditch you. So cut the crap. You don’t have to protect yourself from me.”

You said nothing.

I felt you give up, let yourself sink back against me again, your whole body shaking. You brought your palm up to your face and didn't lower it. Some of the thickest, heaviest misery I'd ever seen in another sprite emanated from you.

I hate how I could hardly stand to be close to you, right then and there.

I broke the silence and continued softly, more from exhaustion than gentleness, “I'm not leaving. Keep trying to push me away if you want. Be mean. I'll be mean back. But I won't back down, no matter how hard you make it for me to stay. Because, believe me, you're making it really hard. But it doesn't matter. You can't shake me, now.”

You still said nothing.

I decided the fight was over. It was time to carry on like it never happened, as per usual. I'd had enough emotional toil for the day. For a whole month, probably.

“Okay,” I told you slowly, “I’m gonna get up now. I need to deal with my cheek. But I'm not going anywhere near that door. I'm just gonna patch myself up and go the cuss to sleep.”

You leaned forward and freed me from your weight. I got up on unsteady legs and headed to the bathroom. The moment I turned on the light, your voice stopped me from going in.

“Mav.”

I paused and braced myself on the doorframe. Looking back, I saw you still sitting against the fridge where I'd left you, your face hidden in the crook of your elbow draped on your bent knee. You asked me a question in a voice so drowned and low, it almost didn’t sound like you.

“Why'd you come back in at all?”

I didn't want to answer. Of course I didn't. But I also… kind of did.

I looked into the bathroom, and locked eyes with myself in the mirror. There was no glow in my pupils. Just big, beautiful blue eyes, flowy brown hair, and rosy, sun kissed cheeks. One of which was streaked with an open, bleeding wound that looked so much worse than it actually was.

Unlike me.

Maybe it was just my morose, drunk brain talking, but it struck me right then how unassuming I was. How no one would expect me to be capable of what I am. There's so much bad in me. So much more than you'd ever see on the surface. That's never bothered me too much. I'm not the protagonist or the antagonist or even an NPC. I can be whatever I want. And I can't honestly say I have any desire to be good for the arcade.

But in that moment, it shook me just how badly I wanted to be good for you.

Keeping eye contact with myself, I carefully confessed.

“The first time the gamers did this to me… I was alone. I guess I came back in because… I just didn't want you to be.”

I stepped in and closed the door.

#fanfiction #fanfic #wreck it ralph #turbo #make it mavis #original character #homesick

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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[zombiebandido]

Can you recommend any Neil Gaiman to me, aside from Stardust or Good Omens? I’m not familiar with his work.

What's the best concert you've been to, if you've been? Jonas Brothers and Green Day.

What's the funniest screenname you've ever seen? I’ve been on the internet since I was like 9 years old, I’ve come across many.

Is there an animal you like that most people don't? I don’t think so. Most people don’t seem to dislike giraffes, which are my favorite animal. <<< Same. And doggos.

Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No.

Is there a time period you think is underrated? I’d love to bring the 90′s back, that’s all. <<< I’m in.

What about music? Hmm.

Do you find yourself listening to music that's a bit more esoteric? No.

What are your three favorite books and why? I’m gonna give you my three current favorite artists instead: AJ Rivers, Willow Rose, and Mary Stone. They’re murder mystery and psychological thriller authors with tons of books and I’ve really enjoyed the many I’ve read from each of them.

What about authors? ^^^ Do you have any likes you wouldn't tell someone until you got to know them? Hmm. I think things would just come up over time, not because I’m waiting to tell them.

Do you have a favorite language? Spanish.

What about a place you've always wanted to visit? I’d love to be able to travel all over.

What's something someone does or says that just makes you laugh? Tell me a lame dad joke. I’m a sucker for those. <<< lol I am, too. I came across a compilation post recently on here that was pretty great.

Do goldfish crackers ever make you sick, or is that just me? I’ve never had that issue.

Do you have a favorite art style? No.

Do you have a favorite myth/fairy-tale? There’s several I find interesting and enjoy.

Who is your favorite person aside from family? Alexander Skarsgard. ;)

Do any of your pets (if you have them) have weird quirks? My doggo is very quirky. She’s such a goofball.

Do you listen to music from anywhere besides America? Some.

Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? I don’t think so.

Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Hm. I don’t think I have any “odd” fascinations.

What is the thing you want most at this moment? I’d really like to just feel decent today so I can enjoy a nice Easter with my family.

What was the last book you read and what was it about? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series.

What was the worst book you've ever read & why? I can’t believe I ever read the Fifty Shades of Gray books. *facepalm*

Do you have a favorite breed of dog or cat? Which? Labs and German Shepherds are awesome.

If you like any anime/manga, what are some titles you recommend? --

What do you think about school in general? I think it’s important to get an education. <<<

What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The accident that made me a paraplegic and everything that resulted from it ever since.

What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? Good health is the most unrealistic.

What are some of your favorite foods? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, and scrambled eggs and biscuits smothered in country gravy.

Where do you like to buy your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I definitely should be.

Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? There’s so many to choose from, though.

If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Superheroes, maybe?

When buying Slurpees, if you do, do you get only one flavor or mix them? I always liked mixing Coke and cherry together.

Do you have a favorite 7Eleven food? I liked getting snacks and drinks from there, but I never ate their pizza or hot dogs or anything of that sort.

Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I’d just like to be fluent in Spanish.

If you could have any career, "realistic"-ness aside, what would it be? I still don’t know.

What are three memorable movies from your childhood? Mary Kate and Ashley movies, Disney movies, and The Rugrats Movie. Ha, I know I cheated by grouping some together, but whatever.

Do you, personally, put a space after ellipses, or not? No.

What do some of the things that inspire you have in common? I haven’t felt inspired in a long time.

Micky D's sweet tea, y/n/other? I used to like it when I was younger. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had it, though.

What are three of your best (non-physical) qualities? Blah.

What are three of your worst (again; non-physical) qualities? Blahhhh.

What is one of your firmest beliefs? My belief in God.

Do you ever question things until you're unsure of even the silliest thing? Sometimes.

Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? My health.

What are your three biggest pet peeves (personality-wise) in others? Arrogance, close-mindedness, and people who just jump on the bandwagon with certain things without doing their own research and forming their own opinions, not even really knowing what the issue is, they’re just following the crowd.

Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I’m quick to own up and admit to all my faults, but do I do I shit about them? ...

What are three of your best physical qualities? (NOT EYES!) Blehhh.

What are some of your greatest aspirations? I don’t have any. :/

How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I wish we could see less division and violence.

Who are three (fairly known) people you find very intriguing? Hmm.

What are three things that make you the happiest? God, my family, and trips to the beach.

What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? I’m a Christian.

Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? YES.

Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Nope.

What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have a MacBook Air, which currently runs on macOS Sierra.

What are you good at? Nothing.

What career do you hope to have? I really don’t know. :/

Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I’m finished with school.

If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? Nope.

A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? The Bible.

If you know of pandora.com, what is your favorite station? Actually, I was listening to Pandora recently for the first time in years and came across this 90s, 2000s, and Today’s Hits station that I was really enjoying.

Have you ever "lost" a friend in any way? How did you deal? Yeah, I’ve lost a lot of friends. Some were harder to deal with than others.

Any music recommendations? Check out that Pandora station.

What are at least three of your biggest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, and never getting better/getting worse.

Most recently read book that you liked? I’m currently reading, “Cold Highway” by Mary Stone, which is the 4th book in a series.

Do you have a piece of jewelry you don't like to take off? No. I haven’t worn jewelry in a long time.

Do you have a favorite quote? Why is it your favorite? I have many. Any odd pastimes you have? I don’t consider any of my pastimes odd.

Are you quirky in any way? (Name them please). My eating habits, for sure. I’m just really picky and particular.

Have any practices you aren't opposed to but wouldn't do yourself? Uhh.

Political standing?

Do you have any piercings/what do you think about piercings? I just have my earlobes pierced.

Do you have a favorite material? My soft, fuzzy throw blanket.

What are three names you'd name a pet if you HAD to get a pet right now? I don’t know. I’d have to see them and see what vibe I get.

Do you like to listen to dorky/amusing music? What would be considered dorky and amusing music?

Coffee vs. Tea vs. Energy Drinks: Order from favorite to least favorite. Coffee, energy drinks (only the Starbucks Doubleshot coffee energy drink), and tea.

Do you like more "fruity" sweets or "savory" sweets? Uhh, I like cupcakes, donuts, brownies, cookies, muffins, and cheesecake type of sweet.

What do you hate the most? My health, myself, and where I’m at in my life.

What genres of music are your favorite? I like variety.

Do you believe in true love? Yeah.

Do you believe in love at first sight? If yes, why? No.

What are some of your favorite clothing accessories? I just wear leggings and graphic tees.

If reincarnation exists, what sort of person would you want to be next? What are some things you believe strongly in? My faith.

Where's your favorite place you've been? Beaches and Disneyland.

What sort of books and movies do you like? Horror, psychological thriller, mystery, and YA for books, horror, psychological thrillers, drama, superhero films, some sci-fi and fantasy stuff like Star Wars, action, adventure, and romcoms for movies.

What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy Saturday? I don’t do anything different, but I do love when it rains.

Is there a book you've read that really touched you? Yeah.

Do you have a favorite artist? As in a painter? No.

PC or MAC? Mac.

What do you love doing? Spending time with my family, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, catching up on social media and trending topics, surveys, listening to ASMR, watching YouTube, watching my favorite shows, drinking coffee, sleeping...

If you could create the perfect world for yourself, what would it be? All my loved ones would be there, good health, money wouldn’t be a concern, happiness, I’d have a house on the beach, I’d be comfortable and relaxed and at peace... stuff like that.

Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No.

Are you religious, spiritual, atheist...? I am a Christian.

What are your opinions on the media? There’s the good and bad. It can be pretty brutal and problematic, for sure.

Do you think that people throw the words "love" and "hate" around too much? Yes.

What is your favorite piece of technology that you own? My laptop and phone.

What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I have what I want at the moment.

Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? Oh, we’re waaaay past that point.

Does it bother you when people do things to fit in with a certain crowd? When they’re doing problematic things.

Hot or cold? I’d much rather be cold. I like being wrapped up in a blanket, wearing hoodies/sweatshirts, and drinking hot coffee. Being hot is just miserable. Do you think that Bzoink should extent the character amount for questions? I don’t use Bzoink.

Do you have a favorite combination of complimentary colors? A lot of colors look nice together.

Do you know why all the young people who have nice cars always look grumpy? I don’t think I’ve noticed that.

What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don’t like any odd flavors. What’s with you and odd stuff?

Where do you like to get your ice cream? I’m not a big ice cream person, but the store is fine, ha. It was nice going somewhere like Cold Stone or something as well, though. I haven’t had ice cream in years, though.

What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? Labels can be useful in some cases.

Do you ever use random word generators for Bzoinkoids?

Do you believe that history repeats itself? Absolutely. There’s proof of that.

Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Ha, it’d be nice to be able to undo them.

What was the most interesting class you had in school? I always enjoyed English. And then of course I found a lot of my psych classes interesting. Do you write? If so, what? Nope.

Do you have a favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube.

Do you think that the quality of TV shows is going down? No, there’s so many good shows.

Do you have a favorite culture? Learning about different cultures is interesting. What was a story you heard as a child that really affected you? Hmm.

Who was your favorite grade-school teacher and why? Mr. McG, my 4th and then 8th grade teacher. He was everyone’s favorite. He made learning so much fun and really cared about his students.

Do you think that the world will end? How? Yes, how the Bible says it will.

Do you believe in Global Warming? Have you researched it? Yes.

Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? I only have my earlobes pierced and I have zero tattoos, soo I can’t say I’m big on either one.

Do you remember your dreams? Very, very rarely.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #long survey

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artesesarthouse · 5 years

Text

MLP season 1 appreaciation!

With MLP coming to a close I wanted to show my appreciation for it.So i'm starting a small series of poster like pictures that depict each season basically, with a lot of easter eggs and a theme dealing with the season. i'd like to talk about my experience with the show and my opinion of the season as a whole. So feel free to read below!

Heres the links to future posters aswell!(coming soon)

Season2 Season3 Season4 Season5 Season6 Season7 Season8 Season9

Man it's been so long since the show started and i became a fan of it. An old friend of mine got into mlp and introduced it to me and my other friends, naturally we were skeptical and at the time, i grew out of my phase of watching dumb lesson of the day, random children shows. The only things i started to like were story driven like avatar, anime and some live action shows as well. I gave it a try cause i have not found a good show in a while so i was bored and tried it out. At the time i started, season 2 was over and it was in the mist of the hiatus to season 3. At first i thought it was meh, like how i predicted, lesson of the day for very young kids, but i kept watching cause like i said, i was bored. As i kept going i begin to enjoy it more because for one, the shows cartoony animation was kind a joy to watch, CNs animation kinda took a downturn so it was pleasent to see it, then i noticed that the jokes were geniunely funny, coupled with the animation and it became a joy to watch, but most importantly what it did, was actually teach good lessons, yea some were obvious but some were also ones you wouldnt hear in a kids show because they would simplify the answer to dumb it down. Those lessons over time really impacted me because, not many people know but, i used to be a bully. not a "gimme yer lunch money or ill punch you" bully, but a manipulative one, i manipulated old friends against each other for my own gain because i wanted toys or money or just the title of 'best friend' and it unfortunately carried over into my high school years (which is when i started watching mlp). In school there’s no course for being a good person (barely any course for important real life stuff in general) So its not like i was taught well how to treat others, its was usually just said "be good or else" which is not the right way to teach a kid things. In the end MLP slowly showed me what i was doing wrong and from that i strengthened my relationships with my closet friends.

But enough personal crap lets talk about the season itself. In general its a fine season, nothing wrong but nothing spectacular yet. Since its the first season and like with every show, the first season is usually the "worst" because the writers are still getting their footing and figuring out what they want to do or what the fans think. Its funny seeing how things have changed like for one AJS voice sounds so much younger then later one, seriously compare S1 AJ to S9 AJ, they could practically be seperate VAs. My opinions of the mane 6 were pretty cut and dry, mostly because Season 1 didn’t give much character development for them outside there stereotypical roles for the most part. like Twis the nerd, Flutter the shy one, AJ the cowboy, rarity the princess, Pinkie the goof and rainbow the jock. Which is fine i liked them for the most part if i were to list them at the time itd be AJ,Pinkie,twilight,flutter,RD,Rarity. I think i liked AJ most because she was confident and straightforward, always cutting to the chase and not taking any bull. Rarity was my least fave because she was the pompous pamped trope so her shtick got annoying quick (funny enough she becomes like my 2nd fav by season 9 0.0) also speaking of annoying RDs voice to a long time for me to get used to, i just didnt like how scratchy it was , i kept wanted her to clear her throat lol. But one thing that wasn't annoying was what i argue the show was best at, songs. now at first the songs were ok just a laughing moment cause pinkie pie was silly, but then we got winter wrap up (i still listen to versions/remixes of it today) Art of the dress and at the gala, god those are fantastic. and they only continued to get better with each season. in short, Season 1 of mlp its just an average season with funny goofs and some genuine good advice for young people (or idiot high schoolers) But it only got better once I started Season 2 c:

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lovelylogans · 4 years

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I don’t know if you’re still doing director’s commentary, but I would love to know about the before and after affects of Virgil’s diagnosis with his family in the sideshire verse. I really love how you handle his anxiety and I’d love to hear more about it in relation to his family, all of whom I love a lot and I’m really interested in their dynamics

i’m always down for director’s commentary!!!

as for the anxiety (asking about relation to family and family dynamics was very exciting because i put a lot of thought into certain easter eggs and characterization choices when it came to virgil’s siblings) i think that the danes’... well, for the most part, they didn’t understand him very well, barring maybe essie and mark, the two most sensitive/emotionally intelligent members of the family.

but certainly at the start of virgil’s lean toward “fight” in “fight or flight,” there was a lot of frustration on both sides of that.

you may have noticed that the danes’ are very enthusiastic, prone to bickering, and tend to bug each other, in a “we love you but we must show it through fighting” kind of way, as well as, well, the cain instinct. so virgil was used to fighting with his siblings, but as he started to get more and more anxious, he started to read more and more meaning into these fights, whether or not that was there, and would snap back, which would, well. blow up.

and then, as has been mentioned in canon, virgil started to feel more and more ostracized (his parents did have five kids to look after, he and silas were getting more and more angry with each other, and, as virgil was tending to be the instigator more often than not, he got into trouble with his parents more often than not) it ended up with him identifying with outsiders and then, well, in strolls remus duke.

who his family, as has been mentioned, did not like. in their eyes, virgil was starting to fall into bad habits and remus duke sure was doing a whole lot to encourage him. which they tried to confront virgil about, in a variety of ways, which virgil did not appreciate, which led to more fights (especially, especially! with silas!)

like, a lot of virgil’s teenage “character arc” is “mental illness may provide the reasoning behind your actions, but it doesn’t mean you have a free pass to be a dick.” so, as virgil gets his diagnosis, and starts therapy, and kind of starts scaling back for a variety of reasons: diagnosis, therapy, remus found his niche in writing horror novels and therefore had a more productive outlet as virgil started to redirect his emotions into cooking and baking, so on, and his siblings start realizing ah, okay, and see him start to better himself and they mend things with relatively little impact on the rest of their relationship, excepting silas.

i am kind of planning on writing more about virgil’s teenage years, though, so we’ll see how i write that one out.

also! now! time for family dynamics!

you may have noticed,,,,, that virgil’s family,,,,, have some Common Traits,,,,,, with Others,,,,,, for example,,,,,,

wyatt: very smart, if not particularly good at connecting with people; very interested in his line of work/study; takes his work seriously, but still clearly cares about his siblings/those in his family, even if it takes some work to see esther: very family oriented; loves love, the idea of love and being in love; protective of her younger siblings; tries her very best to see the light side of people silas: prickly and not particularly inclined toward new people; tends to see the worst in others and suspects they have ulterior motives; clearly going Through It; has a ways to go on Character Development winifred: very outgoing, very bombastic, very dramatic; a bit of a showoff; creative and strives to work within her creative field; has a bit of a joking rivalry going with virgil.

and, of course, virgil, who you know all about.

honestly, i hope that i made them “individual” enough that it’s not Super Obvious that the danes’ siblings characterizations come from “the four og sides but slightly to the left.” so, in birth order, the siblings and their stand-ins are: wyatt as logan, esther as patton, silas as virgil, and winifred as roman.

(mark and meredith danes are meant to be reflective of both luke and lorelai, in gg canon, and emily and richard, both in canon and this fic; mark, because the first lukes i think of in fiction are “luke danes,” from gilmore girls, and “luke skywalker,” from star wars, and when i was choosing a name i preferred mark as in mark hamill to scott as in scott patterson; meredith, because her name has a very similar meaning to lorelai, in canon. however, their characterizations are essentially “richard and emily if they had been “good” people and better parents:” mark as richard, fairly quiet, devoted to his work, relatively mild-mannered, but ready for a fight if he needs to and devoted to his wife; meredith as emily, quick-tempered, easy to make snap, cares about her family and family’s reputation/wellbeing, and also prone to not quite playing well with others, ie taylor. i really wanted to underline the similarities in a way that were subtle enough but still showed that virgil and patton have similar backgrounds, in terms of parenting, but whereas patton was rich and fairly neglected, virgil was... i don’t want to say poor, but definitely more working class than the sanders’, but loved and cherished and appreciated.)

so a lot of his family’s help with his anxiety comes in the form that we’ve seen via fanon/canon! wyatt provides medical reasons, essie is very supportive and loving, silas is... silas (he’ll get better eventually), and winifred provides a lot of distraction, with her just being Her. but!!! yeah!!! thank!!! i love the danes family and i’m really excited to write more of them!!!!

#wyliwf asks #fic response #Anonymous #ask

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dio-roga · 5 years

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After years of stalling, this is finally seeing the light of day and thank actual jesus for that. There’s more fic out there than you’d think for the best boys, but like all things, sturgeon's law’s in effect when it comes to quality (big time actually, around 35 fics on this list from a rough 350 in existence). I read them all so you don’t have to.

Higher rank the better (though obviously YMMV) and the rest should just be ordered by word count. I have a place in my heart for everything on this list so no matter where it is or what I say about it, trust me, if it’s here, I think it’s worth your time.

Will do my best to keep things up to date. I F5 tabs like you wouldn’t believe. Love you guys ❤

[SSS RANK] ABSOLUTE TOP SHELF

ego, opinion, art & commerce 24parts

We hopefully all know it, we certainly all love it. The canon-compliant, rock-band road-trip AU that’s destined to rule the entire ship one day; the cryde child of prophecy. Go in hard and this’ll take you away like nothing else. The only thing not absolutely perfect about this fic is (like the rest of us) you’ll have to wait for the ending. I know waiting sucks, but please don’t let it stop you bingeing this story right now. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s better than most published books you’ll ever read.

let your heart hold fast niente

Literally the best finished cryde fic ever written as of time of writing this. The boys have grown up. Clyde’s a writer, Craig’s distant, and familiar circumstances bring them crashing back together. The cast of characters are a complete joy, it’s fully drenched in canon, and sports an amazingly rich post-series lore with all manner of cute nods and easter eggs for fans of the show. Nothing short of a masterpiece. Written with such love. Treasure your first read of it.

[SS RANK] AMAZING READS GAURANTEED

Pulling Mussels SekritOMG

A divisive fic maybe, but a classic all the same. Get ready for a fresh take on normal fic conventions to be sure. Personally? I’d consider it top shelf, no question. But to others? They might end up absolutely hating it. A strange midlife odyssey wherein a fed-up, lonely Craig begrudgingly reconnects with an out-of-shape, stagnated Clyde. Memorable to say the least, packed to bursting with detail and personality; go in with the right mindset and its glorious set pieces with burn themselves into your memories. Possibly the fic I’ve re-read the most ever.

Darkness Falls Vampiracy

Do you like cute, gorgeously written things? Set during the three days of Stick of Truth, it tells the behind-the-scenes story of Craig’s growing infatuation with the Lord of Darkness. Everything about this is clever and charming and just generally heart-warming. Best read after playing the game for maximum enjoyment, feel smart and accomplished as you pick out all the references. This fic’s adorable and pure and can do no wrong.

Chicken Vampiracy

The gateway fic? Huge question mark? This story is cryde personified. Like the author distilled the ships very essence into this amazingly funny and light-hearted story about the boys playing the world’s most drawn out game of gay chicken. It’s impossible not to love this story, it’s perfect for what it is, and will leave you feeling happy by the end every time. What more could you want? Show this one to your friends and they’ll finally ‘get’ cryde.

the remains of our sky traiyadhvika

I’ll level with you fam, this story will emotionally cripple you, prepared or not. The writing is precise, sublime, and utterly heart-breaking. It tells the story of how Craig deals with the aftermath of Clyde’s death on Everest. Obviously a heavy topic, but I can tell you with complete confidence that this fic not only does the subject matter justice, but also manages to tell a story of love and hope despite it. Like Butters said, it’s a beautiful sadness. This fic had me obsessively researching mountains for weeks, and anything that can light that kind of fire in you is something special.

C & C, The Mystery Duo Darkyfoot

There is nothing in here but pure fluff, joy and happiness. This story will lighten your soul and brighten your heart. It tells the tale of the boys discovering a life-long obsession for hunting mysteries, and will resonate with anyone who’s ever held a strong passion in their lives (which is probably most of you, if you’re hunting down SP fics to read). The written equivalent of a warm blanket and a steaming hot mug of cocoa on a cold winter’s night.

[S RANK] THE REALLY GOOD STUFF

Equality Donkerblauw Fluweel

A good chill-out fic? Cataloguing a series of parties over the summer in which Clyde starts cozying up to Craig after much alcohol is consumed; and like a good drink, the fic mixes all its elements together nicely. It’s nothing ground breaking, but it’s got a super relaxing flow to it, and will brighten your mood by the end. It nails the party atmosphere, so if you’ve got no-where to go this Friday night, maybe pour yourself a little something and give this one a read.

Craig Likes Vanilla (Ice Cream) themuffintitan

The cuteness equivalent of porn. If you’ve got a list of cliché ‘aww’ scenarios, chances are they’ll play out in this fic. If hand holding and sharing an ice-cream make you melt (hahanotfunny) then this one’s definitely for you. For a fairly simple story about Craig and the squad visiting a waterpark, it’s remarkably detailed (check that word count fam), and has a killer summer atmosphere to boot. It certainly made me hit up a park last July. The writing does let it down in a few areas, but overall you’ll probably be too busy enjoying the ride to notice.

The Silent Lie Donkerblauw Fluweel

Guilty pleasure? Okay you caught me red-handed. This fic’s practically porn. Read all about how Clyde learns to surrender his heterosexuality as Craig massages away all his football injuries in the steamiest way possible. If I’m being totally honest? The story’s pretty obviously there to frame the smut, and writing can be a bit all over the place. But I can’t deny it just works. It’s hot AF. Come here for the sexies and you won’t leave disappointed. Read it after dark. ;)

Press Play flappySp00kster

Arguably unfinished, but the only thing missing is apparently a mostly superfluous epilogue. We’re in full AU territory here as Clyde hooks up with Craig on a dating app during a rough-patch with his long-time, and now ex, girlfriend. Your mileage may vary obviously as the story’s not canon compliant; however the boys behave like you’d imagine and the romance is nicely fleshed out and unique. Bonus points for a bit of kink in the sex scenes, which is rarer than you’d expect for this ship.

What Happened in 1637 pinkfloyd1770

One of the most strikingly unique stories out there; it’s essentially a flower shop AU in which Clyde embraces his Dutch heritage and sports and encyclopedic knowledge on tulip facts. Written in medias res during a seemingly long since established relationship with Craig, this fic merely offers a look into this unique take on the couple as they go about their lives. The detail is stunning, and you’ll find vivid mental pictures coming to life in every scene. If you can get past the fact Craig bottoms (let’s pretend he was feeling generous that evening) then you’ll certainly be charmed with this one. (1637 is the year the tulip bubble finally popped. In case you were wondering.)

Around My Head wendybirb

Are you looking for something that’s light and fluffy? Maybe you like reading Clyde’s inner monologue as he fumbles around high-key pining over his best friend? Perfect, sign yourself up to this fic; it’s a quick and easy read that’ll give you your daily dose of wholesomeness from one of my favorite authors. Nothing overly flashy or complicated here, just boys being cute and kissing.

hey there demons traiyadhvika

This spooky affair is thankfully a lot less of an emotional roller-coaster than it’s cousin ‘remains of our sky’, but that’s not to say it doesn’t grab you and refuse to let go. Have you ever wondered what Craig and Clyde would be like trying to host one of those dorky haunted house shows? Bonus points in that Craig can legitimately see ghosts? It’s a fresh concept that’ll really get your mind racing with the cutest hosts you could ask for. Kept me glued to my seat, ready to throw down if any bad spirits came between the best boys. Slept with the hall lights on for a couple nights ngl.

As Good a Reason as Any Vampiracy

The last of the sacred trinity that also includes Chicken and Darkness Falls, the only reason this fic isn’t ranked higher is because it’s also the authors shortest. Watching Clyde try anything and everything to spend more time with Craig is as endearing as it sounds, and the only thing that sucks is that it doesn’t overstay its welcome; when honestly, you’d like the fic to stay for dinner and spend the night. Quality everything. No joke made my heart flutter. Read it and know true happiness.

Kiss It Better dokidave

A one and done story of Craig trying to cheer Clyde up after a difficult day. This fic’s a nice double whammy if you’re looking for some hurt and comfort mixed in with some steamy sex scenes. It delivers exactly what is says on the box; don’t expect too much in the way of plot of development, but certainly feel free to gush over the sappy sweet character moments. A good pick-me-up fic if you’re having a lousy day.

Take a Chance (You Say It's Your Birthday) Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

So here we have Craig being drunk and vulnerable, while Clyde’s radiating raw sexuality as he dances for Craig’s camera. I’m usually all about Craig giving off that top energy, but the way this story frames (hahakillme) the whole dynamic is very soft and endearing; you can fully understand why Craig’s the one feeling thirsty this time around. This is a fic that really knows how to set a mood. Read it and feel like you’re being pampered.

You Make It Easier glowworm888

Pure comfort; Clyde’s feeling understandably miserable about the thought of growing up without his mom, and Craig’s doing his best to help Clyde cope. Wholesome dumb teenagers looking out for each other and low-key falling in love. I dare you not to feel all happy inside as Clyde slowly begins to feel better as Craig looks after him. Adorable throughout, the ending is very much them. Another good read for making a crappy day a better one.

Miss you x Vampiracy

A true hidden gem by one of the best authors in the whole fandom; we have here the best fic in which Clyde doesn’t even appear. The whole schoolyard gang give their two cents on Craig’s spiraling mental state as he tries desperately to justify a typo to Clyde during an obsessive summer-long texting marathon. Legitimately funny from start to finish, with buttery-smooth dialogue and a big soft ending that’ll have you grinning ear-to-ear for completely different reasons. Love it, cherish it, and dream of more. Vampiracy ̶ we’ll miss you x.

[A RANK] SHORT AND SWEET

Whatever Gets You Through The Night Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There’s a lot of mixed feelings for me in this fic. A love-letter to Clyde and his parents, in which Craig gets caught up on the whole ‘love’ part of it, having trouble fully expressing himself due to some heavy personal baggage. The Donovan’s really shine in this story. Betsy’s alive and massively comforting, Roger’s family values personified, and Clyde’s being a sweetheart to end all sweethearts. It’s confronting, more than a little emotionally messy, but it’s none the less a story that’ll stay with you. Check the comments for a hidden stinger.

Some Dieting Donkerblauw Fluweel

Clyde’s self-image problems are the focus this time around, doing a commendable job pushing the ideas of healthy progress, properly looking after yourself and feeling comfortable letting others help out. It’s a good length for the story it is, and although the writing gets a little spotty in parts you’ll be unlikely take too much notice. Like Clyde, this one’s hearts in the right place.

If Time Could Stand Still WeCryde

I used to stumble across this story semi-regularly back in the day, wondering if I’d missed it before realizing we’d already been well acquainted. The amount of show rather than tell is fairly distracting, with the entire meat of the relationship relegated to backstory. There’s still something here though. Perhaps in the way it deals with long-distance relationships and just distance in general. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me resonates with the plight of two idiots with thousands of miles between them. See if it works for you?

The Edges of the Atmosphere Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There should be some sort of law that states that confessions in cryde stories have to be some level of stupid or convoluted. These two are physically incapable of expressing such feelings to each other in any standard normie way. So enjoy some classic spaceman Craig tropes while Clyde juggles being cute and awkward like a pro. Trigger warning for some racy hand-holding action; we’re talking interlocking fingers here.

Standby Flier Cheesebirb (Hi Mark ;)

So upfront, this story isn’t even a romance quite honestly. It’s just a cute bromance sort of affair at most, in which the boys share a hotel room together while waiting on a flight back home. You could quite certainly interpret it as the start of something deeper, as the fic gladly provides hints to support it; however there’s nothing to see here apart from the two personalities bouncing off each other, and sometimes that’s enough. A memorable little story that might resonate that little bit extra if you’re a frequent traveler.

Bust and Boom Azul_Bleu

Clyde fumbling with the realization that he’s got the hots for Craig isn’t new ground, that’s about the only ‘downside’ I could give this story. What it does with this premise however is deliver some pitch-perfect characterizations, snappy pacing, a good variety of settings, and some surprisingly touching moments given its brevity. It’s also loaded with lines that stand up off the page and stick with you and those are always worth their weight in gold; the author really squeezes a lot out of the short word count.

Forts Can Be Fun wendybirb

In which little Craig builds a pillow fort and little Clyde is invited. It’s a soft story with some cute exchanges, if you’re looking for a more innocent kid-cryde vibe then this one can scratch the itch. Short and sweet by definition. Go read it and give yourself a little smile.

Ennui dsfgajkh

This simple story’s a real blink and you’ll miss it; detailing some introspective thoughts Clyde’s having about the monotony of small town life and his fascination with his much more interesting best friend. At nearly a decade old, this story pre-dates Pandemic, which solidified the usual stoic Craig tropes that came after so it’s an awesome little time capsule back to those days where apathetic Clyde and flamboyant Craig was as good a guess as any. There’s a line about skittles that makes it worth the ten minute read.

Neighbors Vampiracy

So remember that time that Vampiracy wrote one of the most realistic and precious depictions of little Craig and Clyde playing with toy trucks in the backyard, but then it got buried in the depths of tumblr? Try not to smile when Clyde beams over the prospect of making a new friend and being able to show off the hole he’s dug; I completely and utterly dare you. Bratty Craig is my spirit animal and I’d die for more adventures with him at the Donovan house. I’m such a sucker for cutesy pre-school fluff I swear; just like you will be when you’re done reading this.

Shine On How You Shine On Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

Real talk? I’m a sucker for all things Brokeback Mountain, and this fic’s just neatly slotting in Craig and Clyde as the cowboys sharing a rough and confusing night in a tent together. The story is exactly what you’d think if you’ve read the original, and it hits all the same thematic beats. Guilty pleasure alert in full here. If you’re in the mood for hearing Clyde Twist tense up as Craig Delmar spits on his hand behind him then I won’t judge if you don’t. I’d unironically read ten more chapters.

Two Weeks toddintops

Yeah-yeah I know I’m stretching the definition of fic with this one, it’s barely a half thousand words; but hey, better five hundred words that make you feel something than ten thousand that leave you feeling the same. A short, sharp dose of angst with some beautiful art accompanying, what have you got to lose? Something about Clyde’s smile, coupled with the bittersweet lines near the end has always managed to stay with me. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you too.

UNFINISHED (BUT STILL GREAT)

Ask Craig obitotxt (Password is 12345)

Hop on board the angst express; with the last stop being yourself when you realize the story comes crashing off the rails and never hits the end. Is the fact this blog never reached a conclusion one of the great tragedies of our modern era? Yeah, kinda. Fact is, this is probably the only cryde-centric askblog-formatted story out there; and yeah, it’s hyperbolic at times, but goddamn if it doesn’t make you feel something. Packed to the brim with boys being boys, memorable moments and just so much heart, you’ll be pressing F (and F5) for days after you reach the final unfinished pages.

One More Year llexxii

And here’s a weird way to recommend something: you probably don’t want to read this one. It’s very long, it’s very dead, and it has a fairly submissive Craig coupled with a rather unlikable rendition of Clyde. So why’m I even talking about this, and really, I’ve not got much of an answer for you. Just that this fic, despite everything, has some consistently excellent writing. The flashback scenes to Craig and Clyde as young kids are total gems. There’s stuff to love here, and maybe it could have been something great; if nothing else, maybe check it out as an interesting look into the ships history.

Turn It Around, Get a Rewrite wendybirb

This one hurts, in just about every respect. Prepare for angst story wise as we follow along with the life and times of Craig, reconnecting with a clearly troubled yet desperately pining Clyde, who seems scared shitless about his dying claims to heterosexuality. I genuinely love this story. It’s raw and emotional and angry and sexy, it comes across messy and real and does an amazing job making you care about the boys while also showing their more frustrating attributes. I’m still holding out hope it’ll one day take its place with the greats, but until then, the hardest gut-punch is always that “unfinished” tag.

January White (Love Is a Stain) Dovakiin

Here we’ve got a different kind of tragedy. The usual formula is a promising author burning out after an amazing opening run, but here we’ve got a story that never even made it past the kickoff. It’s such a shame. The eponymous metaphor and the solemn tone throughout is honestly pretty captivating; I would love to see how this take on the characters would have played. Spare ten minutes from your day and give yourself something to reflect on with this abandoned beginning.

NOT FULL CRYDE, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

ask MARSH and BROFLOVSKI jovishark

You know what? Fuck it. I’m putting this one here and no one can stop me. This ask blog is practically fandom required reading at this point, and I couldn’t in good conscience not mention it. Stan and Kyle answer your questions, the plotline reads like something from a CW show, and Craig and Clyde don’t even end up together. I love it genuinely. If you pressed me, this story might be what got me into the fandom; pressed me harder, it’s what got me into cryde (again ironic as cryde isn’t endgame here). Always worth a read or a re-read. Pretend Craig and Clyde sorted things out in college if you need to.

Brace Yourself skyline

Okay so it’s a style story, let’s get that elephant in the room well and truly pointed out from the outset. If it’s a deal breaker for you that cryde isn’t the focus, then move along, but I guarantee for those that stay, there’s a charmingly written cryde side-ship playing out in tandem to Stan’s quest to win over his super best friend. There’s a lot to love about this story, the writings sharp and surprisingly powerful at times, and the characters are a joy to watch. Watching the cryde story unfold from Stan’s POV is a unique experience that you won’t really find anywhere else.

Remove Before Flight skyline

So remember Brace Yourself from literally just one entry up? Okay, same concept, same author. This is a different timeline in which Kenny’s the lucky protagonist trying to win Kyle’s heart, but like before, you’re treated to an enjoyable cryde sub-plot playing on in the background of the K2 drama. The writing’s still on-point, the characters are still great; if you liked the authors other story (which I’d advise reading first), you’ll definitely enjoy this one too. It’s cute how Craig and Clyde always seem destined for each other in this universe.

#cryde #fanfic #clyde donovan #craig tucker #cryderecs #we should probs be friends if youve read them all #❤️

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dragonofyang · 5 years

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Let’s Voltron Ep 185 - Mitch Iverson Interview: Voltron Legendary Defender Comics Transcript

The following is a complete transcript for episode 185 of Let’s Voltron: the Official Voltron Podcast in which hosts Marc Morrell and Greg Tyler interview VLD writer Mitch Iverson about the comic books, posted July 11, 2019.

The full text is below the cut, or you can read it at https://www.teampurplelion.com/lets-voltron-ep-185-mitch-iverson-interview-voltron-legendary-defender-comics-transcript/

@voltronisruiningmylife @crystal-rebellion @leakinghate @felixazrael

[Intro music: VLD opening theme]

MM: Welcome Voltron fans! This is Marc Morrell, your host for Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast. We have another exciting interview with somebody who created content for Voltron, and this time we’re talking about the comics. So, I gotta get my cohost on, Greg Tyler. Welcome, Greg!

GT: Marc, I’m so glad you didn’t call me your comic relief.

[laughter]

GT: That would’ve been a perfect end, but anyway, yes, um, welcome to all of our listeners and fellow Voltron fans. We’re gonna talk comic books in this podcast and, uh, yeah! It’s gonna be a lot of fun. As many of you know, Voltron: Legendary Defender had three five-issue volumes of a comic book, uh, made by LionForge Comics and we’re gonna talk with one of the people who was involved in every single issue.

MM: Awesome! Awesome, so let me get this straight: every single issue?

GT: I believe so.

MM: Yeah. All fifteen. He was.

GT: Yes, all fifteen.

MM: That’s right. So, what kinds of things do you think our listeners would want to know about the comics?

GT: I don’t know! Wha--what are your thoughts?

MM: I think, uh, one of the first things people always ask about is, ‘Are there any easter eggs?’ You know, like references to other types of things like sci-fi shows or fantasy or other types of things like that.

GT: Mm-hm.

MM: So I-I think that one has to be one of our questions.

GT: Sure, th-that’s a great question. I would say that if there’s one thing--now I-I--it’s not something we can ask our guest--but one thing I think tha-that somebody might ask is ‘are they any good’. And I know that sounds silly, but I’ve heard a lot of people just say, “Eh, I don’t wanna read those comics, those are dumb.” [laughter] But you know what? If you give them a try, they’re a lot of fun in their own right. The dialogue is very natural, the characters are saying and thinking and doing things that are very in-tune with the TV series. They are interesting side stories that, uh, fit between different episodes of the show, so they do have, uh, a-a place in the story arcs, and yet they’re not so confined by them that they can’t do their own thing. And the artwork looks great, and the stories are a lot of fun. So to answer that question, if anybody out there has that, in my humble opinion, yeah, they’re good! They’re a lot of fun. What do you think, Marc?

MM: I think it’s just fun to say things like “fripping bulgogian”.

GT: [laughter] Yes. There are some wonderful sci-fi-ish terms in the comics, just like in the show, and yeah, a lot of fun.

MM: And there’s some wild alien races that you’ve never seen before on the show, and it’s just amazing in how many different wild directions they go with the comics.

GT: Yes, I agree, it, uh, yeah. There’s some really good stuff in there.

MM: Yeah. So, we’d like to bring Mitch Iverson on.

GT: Absolutely.

MM: Alright. So here comes your next guest.

[Mechanical lion roar sound effect, which then turns into Voltron robot noises and the Voltron theme]

MM: Well, Greg, I would like to introduce a former writer of Voltron: Legendary Defender on Netflix, and of course the comics that we’re going to be talking about in this episode. He was also a writer on the up-and-coming Fast and Furious animated show, and he’s working on a top-secret project for Netflix.

GT: Ooh, top secret, sounds awesome!

MM: [laughter] Everybody welcome back to the podcast Mitch Iverson! Welcome, Mitch!

MI: Hello! Thank you for having me on!

GT: Hello, Mitch, welcome back to the podcast.

MI: I’m excited to be back.

GT: Well, we’re excited to have you on. We reread the Voltron: Legendary Defender comics, all three volumes, all fifteen issues, and are--we’re just really excited to talk with you about them.

MI: Awesome. I’m excited to talk to you guys about them.

GT: So what have you been up to in Voltron circles since? We heard that--that there were rumors of a fourth volume, and then that--that fell through or something? Can you tell us anything about that?

MI: We had talked about doing it, but you know, the license… there was something going on with that, and uh, DreamWorks decided, “You know what, let’s just let Voltron: Legendary Defender be what it was.” I think everyone creatively felt like, yeah it’s a--it’s a told story. You know, now that it’s over, going back is just kind of like trying to fill in between lines that don’t necessarily need to be filled in. Like, it is--it’s an awesome story, it’s done.

GT: That’s fair. That’s fair.

MI: I will say, if I were allowed to write Monsters and Mana comics [laughter] forever, I would.

[laughter]

MM: That would be cool.

MI: But I don’t know that those would, uh, would warrant the sales. [laughter]

MM: You also have a history with Dungeons and Dragons, can you tell us about anything you’ve done recently with Dungeons and Dragons?

MI: I’ve played it. [laughter]

MM: Alright.

MI: Yeah, I have a group of friends that meet once a month, uh, every month, on a Saturday. We get together at about noon and we play until about 10 p.m. There’s usually some wine, maybe a little scotch every now and then. It’s really fun, definitely snacks that are really unhealthy for you, lots of laughs.

MM: Nice.

MI: Lots of good storytelling. It’s a, it’s a great group.

GT: I think that’s the best part of roleplaying games, isn’t it? It’s the friendship.

MI: Oh, I thought you were going to say snacks.

[laughter]

GT: Oh, okay.

MI: I mean I would agree.

GT: And the wine.

MM: You can’t have a guy like Hunk as your caterer at every Dungeons and Dragons night, right?

MI: No, you can’t.

[laughter]

MM: So you would love to do Monsters and Mana comics.

MI: I’m being semi-serious. I mean I just love that episode so much and I had so much fun with it, but you know, it did--a lot of its magic was that it was just kind of a one-time adventure, but, uh, I do truly just love that kind of, like, whimsical fantasy element. I thought that was a lot of fun.

MM: Well, the funny thing is that the “Monsters and Mana” episode was one of the few episodes that tied in with the comics.

MI: Right. Yeah.

MM: Because they mentioned the Yalexian pearl.

MI: Right, yeah.

MM: Mm-hm.

MI: You’re, uh, you pay attention.

GT: Yeah! There were a lot of terms that, uh, were expanded upon in the comics, that one being probably the most prominent, but uh, one thing that surprised me a bit in the comics, we had an issue that was told from Lance’s perspective where he is a D&D kind of, sort of sorcery hero. And he rescues the princess, there’s a dragon, the dragon is the princess--spoilers--and, and it’s just--it’s really cool, but one thing that-that kind of surprised me after “Monsters and Mana” is in that episode, Lance acts like he wants nothing to do with th-the game at first, and in the comic world he’s thinking in those terms. So is Lance a closet nerd?

MI: I think he is, and the thi--well, just to--just to make a quick joke, usually you say “spoilers” first, not-not after. [laughter]

GT: Well, yeah, I spoiled the spoiler.

[laughter]

MI: Oh, I’m just messin’ around. But Lance, I mean the reason he’s trying to act like he doesn’t like fantasy is because he wants to seem cool in front of Allura, and then she’s like, “This sounds fun!” and he’s like, “Oh, okay.”

GT: [laughter] Oh, yeah, that’s cool.

MI: And I mean, you know, he’s always playing that video game and he’s got, like, a--a, you know, at the end, he sticks around to play another game. So...

GT: Oh yeah. Yeah, he does.

MM: In that comic, it says, th-the narrator says, “With Lance’s unerring nose for adventure-finding and quest-detection, the lions quickly reached the most likely spot on the planet Krell for a princess rescue.” And of course they chose a picture of a tall tower.

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: Of course, that’s the perfect place for a princess rescue.

GT: Sure!

MM: This particular princess was a little unusual of sorts, wasn’t it?

MI: Yes.

GT: Yeah, I think I already spoiled that, unfortunately.

[laughter]

MI: Whiffed on that one, huh, little button. Yeah, that was, you know in the first two iss--first two books, and then I wrote them together, we broke all the stories together, but we each took a different issue. We were both a lead on a different issue, and that was an issue he took the lead on and I didn’t know that he was gonna do all that Lance narrating stuff, that was totally him, and I remember reading it and laughing and like, “You are a genius, sir.”

[laughter]

MI: I was like, “Wow, man, he--he is awesome.”

GT: Yeah, I-I think what I really like about--one of the things I really like about the comics is that they, you know--Voltron at its core tends to be sort of an action/adventure sort of property, you know, with sci-fi/fantasy elements and all that, but one thing that I really liked is that a lot of the comics were, you know, had unique twists that made them not just, you know, fighting. There were puzzles to solve, there was “Wow, you know, this thing isn’t really a monster. It’s not trying to… It’s just--it’s just hungry, let’s feed it.” Um, you know, there were all these, these twists that make it not just “giant robot punches the crap out of a giant monster”, you know? And at the same, Voltron has formed in almost every single comic which is also cool, so--

MI: Awesome, yeah.

GT: --so was that a conscious effort on your part and Tim’s part for the first two volumes, to shake things up a bit and make them a little different from the show?

MI: Absolutely. And the--and the thing is, though o-our belief in that is-is you watch a show and a giant robot beats the crap out of a giant monster, that’s awesome. But in a comic book, it might not be as fulfilling we thought. We thought, “You know, this is a little more cerebral” because, like, you’re not gonna get to actually see the-the, all the in-between moments, you know. You can get key images of the fighting, but we thought, like, this needs to ha--we need to, like--we need to, like, make this its own kind of fun thing. Not that it isn’t the show, I thought there were lots of awesome elements like that, but you know, the other thing is in the show, it’s--into its--this is me giving a--I just love this about the show--i-it was so… plotty and it wasn’t like “every episode is fighting a monster”, but then--but, like, Tim and I, we love monster-fighting, so we were like, ”How do we get as much of that in without it feeling like every issue is just solved by punching” like you said. So, we put a lot of thought into ways of making that try and be the case.

GT: Well, I love that juxtaposition where the robot is around all the time, I mean in all, like I think thirteen out of fifteen issues--I counted--and I just kept thinking, “Wow, this is so cool, how many times does this happen?” And so you have that, and yes you have the very awesome-looking variety of giant creatures which is really cool, I mean as an old school fan the more the merrier, and yet it’s not repetitive, it’s not formulaic, it’s not just punch, kick, sword, et cetera. There is still a lot of humans, humanities and problem-solving a-and there are enough plot twists to keep it more than robot-on-creature repetitiveness, and so I really enjoyed that juxtaposition.

MI: I think, by the way, if DreamWorks ever makes another Voltron show, they should make it Voltron: Punch, Kick, Sword, Etc.

MM: Ooh.

[laughter]

GT: You heard it here, listeners.

[laughter]

MM: Alright, so going back to what you were saying, Greg, then sometimes those monsters are somebody’s mother or somebody’s baby.

GT: Mm-hm!

MM: And sometimes Voltron ends up getting into a fight with a monster they probably shouldn’t have.

GT: Yeah.

MI: Yeah.

GT: And that’s also cool. And like, at the end of the very first issu--er was it… yeah, the very first issue, I think--they went to planet Krell and uh, defeated this monster and then these little creatures come out and say, “You’ve killed our guardian”. [laughs]

MM: Yeah.

GT: “Huh?!”

MM: “Huh?”

GT: Yeah.

MI: Hm-hm. [laughs]

GT: Yeah, i-it’s just neat. I-I like the-the juxtaposition there. I-I’m using the word “juxtaposition” it’s a new drinking game, everyone. [laughs] But on the subject of the planet Krell, I’m an old-school sci-fi fan as well and Forbidden Planet is one of my favorite films. Was Krell a deliberate tip of the hat to that film or was it just happenstance?

MI: We--please don’t pitchfork me--I have never seen that movie.

GT: No problem.

MI: Now, Tim may have and that may have been, like, a deliberate nod toward that from him.

GT: Okay.

MI: I don’t-I don’t know, though. Sorry. That may not have been satisfying

GT: Yeah, no problem. That’s perfectly satisfying. It’s the right answer. It’s your answer, so [laughs].

MM: So was there anything specifically that you used as a reference in any of these three volumes?

MI: I’m sure there was, it was just so hard to remember. You know, like, I know that we definitely had a section where every--for every issue we would either go out and ha--or for every arc we’d either go out and have drinks or go get, like, go for, like, a meeting session and we would just, like, talk for, like, a long time about, like, you know, sci-fi things we loved or fantasy things we loved. You know, the other thing we have on that, in there, that is--I should mention that I think is just so great--is, like, many elements that we used were things that we had ideas for the show that it was just like, “You know, we’re never gonna get to fit it in there ‘cuz it’s just not gonna, like, fit with all the stuff going on”. So, you know, like, Josh, May, all the writers who contributed on Voltron, we would always have these powwows and we would talk about, like, different elements that could be in the show, and there would be, like, notecards on the wall that would be, like, “planet cracks open--monster”, that was just, like, a notecard sitting on the wall forever. And it was like, “when are we gonna use that?” And it’s like, “I don’t know if we’re ever gonna get around to using that,” so, like, there was all these ideas that had been kind of, you know, in the aether that we then just say, “Hey, you know, we’re never gonna use these for the show, maybe we put ‘em in the comic book.”

MM: Right.

GT: Yeah, I love that idea where the planet was basically an egg. It was cool.

MI: I think that was Josh Hamilton’s idea.

GT: Oh, neat.

MI: He gets no credit and no money, mua-ha-ha-ha.

[laughter]

GT: Your evil plan worked again. [laughs]

MI: No, we asked him. We asked, “Can we take that card down and put it in the comic?” and he was like, “Yeah!” [laughs]

MM: And one of the cool things is in-in the comics, Pidge actually gets to say “Form Voltron”.

MI: Yeah!

MM: And that doesn’t happen in the show.

MI: Does it never happen in the show?

MM: I’d never heard Pidge say, “Form Voltron”.

MI: Oh, wow.

GT: I’ll take your word for it, but yeah, that does sound like something that would not have been said very often. But yeah, very cool.

MI: Now I’m trying to think does anyone that ever say it besides Keith and Shiro, and Allura? Does Lance ever say it, or Hunk?

MM: I don’t think Lance or Hunk have ever done it.

GT: Ooh. Listeners, if you remember any of these things, and we’re not remembering, please let us know.

[laughter]

MM: But that first volume of comics was actually made into motion comics, too.

MI: Yeah! Wasn’t that cool?

MM: That was awesome.

GT: Yeah, how did that--how did that happen? How did you guys find out about that? Were you involved in-in planning that, or was that surpris--a surprise to you guys?

MI: It was a semi-surprise. We were told they were gonna do it, a--uh, you know, later on, and the way we were kind of told was they put on the recording schedule, like, “Oh, we’re gonna get the actors from the show to come in an-and do that.” So it was like, “Oh, cool, that’s really exciting. Like, that’ll be fun.”

GT: Yeah.

MI: And I thought those things turned out really cool.

MM: Yeah, so cool.

GT: Yeah, it gave it a whole different dimension, didn’t it?

MM: Yes.

MI: Yeah.

MM: It was so cool in fact, that many people had asked are we gonna do this with the other volumes as well?

MI: Yeah, that would’ve been fun. There was always, like, um, strategies, and, like, a lot of the stuff we did on the side was to help promote the show, you know?

GT: Yeah.

MM: Mm-hm.

MI: And, you know, enrich brand experience. And so it-it’s not a hundred percent correct, but, you know, like, in a way the--probably shouldn’t say this ‘cuz it’s gonna come out wrong--but, it’s like the comic books were almost like, in a way, like, a form of advertising and engagement. But the--

GT: Well, sure.

MI: --I know that’s not a perfect analogy because it’s, like, you know, people pay for those, but then with the motion comics that was another way to, like, keep fans engaged, you know, because we’re not always going to have new Voltron content coming out, so it was a way to be like, “Yeah, remember? Don’t forget about us, and don’t forget that, like, the show’s gonna come back in a few months.” And so by the time all that stuff had gotten done, I think the show was probably rounding a corner and, you know, like, it wouldn’t have made sense to do that, t-to invest that money, to give away basically a product that was just gonna be advertisement for a show that was, that was, you know, ending.

GT: Yeah, that makes sense.

MI: If that makes any sense.

GT: Yeah that makes perfect sense. Yeah, absolutely.

MI: DreamWorks is very smart, and they did a really awesome job, I thought, you know, getting the word out to the fans and helping us, like, helping us find ways to engage in cool, different, unique ways, so, that was like, you know, that was like a surprise. It was an awesome surprise.

GT: Yeah, it was great. A-and there have been Voltron motion comics in the past. Several years ago, I-I’m trying to remember the publisher now, but there were two different animated comics there--that were adaptations from prior, um, Voltron iterations. Not from a show directly, but kind of a-a more serious bend on the original show.

MM: You’re talking about Devil’s Due Publishing, right?

GT: I think so, yeah.

MM: The Revelations comic?

GT: I think so, there were a couple different, uh, motion comics that came out, and I must tell you, I had a really hard time getting through them when I finally got around to watching them in the last few years. And it’s nothing about the comic, it’s just that the adaptation didn’t have the same quality in terms of dynamic motion. It was much more static. The music was more stock-sounding rather than using the composers from the show, or any show, I mean just felt stock, et cetera. And so the Legendary Defender stuff was a definite cut above what had been made before, and I really think it kind of breathed a different sense of life into the comic story a-and was very exciting in its own way.

MI: Th-thank you, that’s really cool. I mean, you know, when you get, like, Rhys Darby or Jeremy Shada or Bex, er, they’re--you know, Josh, like, they’re all amazing, it’s like--to have them lend themselves to that, it’s just like--it definitely elevates it, too, you know. That was so great.

MM: Yeah, and Pidge in volume one where she establishes that she has this dossier that she’s been building, assessing the strengths and vulnerabilities of her fellow Paladins, that was a really interesting character moment for her.

MI: Yeah, and, uh, I will say--okay, you were looking for things where I got inspiration from. Hopefully I don’t get in trouble for admitting this, but to me, I’ve always thought of Pidge as kind of the “World’s Greatest Detective”, she’s kind of--

MM: Like Batman!

MI: --like a Sherlock Holmes or like Batman, yes. And uh, and Batman, I think at some point, had a dossier on the Justice League, and that was, like, a storyline.

MM: Oh, yeah.

MI: And so, I was like, “You know, that’s just--that rings true.” Like, that’s something that Pidge would do, you know? So… I don’t wanna say “ripped off”, but homaged. [laughs]

GT: Yeah, a-and that’s cool. I really enjoyed it. And then in a later volume--was it volume three? They’re starting to blend together over just two evenings--there was the plot where she wanted to turn o--that was in volume three!--turn off the shield in the SPRAWL, the Galra shield, and she had her memories temporarily wiped. So that was another interesting twist on something you wouldn’t expect. Someone who was as intelligent as she is and the world’s greatest detective, having to figure out not only what to do, who her allies are, but uh, you know, all this while not even knowing who the heck she is.

MI: I had that idea, and I thought it was a really, really cool idea, and then I was terrified about how to pull that off. I was like… it’s… and I hope I did, I still am like, am like, “Is anyone going to understand what’s happening?” Like, “Is this cool?”

MM: Why is she saying “who am I?”

[laughter]

MI: And I was like, “Oh, this could be very… I hope it works!” And so… I’m glad to hear you liked it. That means a lot.

GT: Yeah, it was uber fun. And it also touched on, uh, something she said back in season 1 where Allura is trying to get Pidge to tell her, uh, the secret that Pidge is really a girl, and instead, you know, she says, “I like peanuts, don’t like peanut butter” or whatever that was, and then she says, “I sweat a lot.” [laughs] And in this issue, she sweats off half of her clues that she had written on her arms.

[laughter]

MM: Yep.

MI: Ey, you remembered! Cool! Yeah!

GT: Yeah! You guys did a great job with the continuity. Now obviously, having worked on the show, it was, you know, still fresh on the brain there, but, uh, to work in those references and the character dialogue i-is so spot-on, too. I could hear the actors, you know, reading the dialogue for every single one of the issues, it was really neat.

MM: So did you ever think what it would be like if maybe the show had a longer run, you know, than the two and a half years it was on, and that you would’ve been able to actually take one of these comic issues that you had written, and adapt it back into an episode into the show if you still had those things rolling together like they were?

MI: Yeah, totally. Anytime you get to see stuff be, like, read by actors is fun. [laughs]

MM: Yeah. So you’re taking what was done with the motion comics and you’re taking it to the next level and you’re not only adding motion and voice and sound and all that kind of stuff to it, but the actual animation.

MI: Yeah, that’d be cool.

GT: It would. And so I gotta ask in the, uh, in volume two whose idea was it for Alfor to be a nud? [laughs]

MI: Oh man, that had to be Tim.

[laughter]

GT: Where he takes the, uh, shaman or the healer of the--and I don’t know how to pronounce this word--Davdibal, Davdibaw?

MM: It looks like “Davdabhau”.

GT: Yeah.

MI: I’m gonna go with “Davdabhau”.

GT: Alright.

MI: [laughs]

GT: But the--he takes, you know, he goes into this lab, specimen lab, where Alfor had been keeping all these things he’d gathered over the-the years, and he, uh, I just love how he just calls Alfor basically a nerd, which is hilarious. I mean, Alfor, especially later, you see him as this gallant warrior, the original Paladin, and nah, he’s a nerd.

[laughter]

MM: That was when he picked up the Nomo virus, right?

GT: Uh, yes, yes.

MM: So, another thing that kinda tied into the show, you know, Coran had developed the slipperies on the show. But in the comic he develops the Nomo virus, and it actually ends up saving them in the end.

MI: Uh-huh. [laughs]

GT: Well, the slipperies had, too, right?

MM: Yeah.

MI: Y-yeah.

MM: Yeah.

MI: Yeah, he was getting around.

GT: Yeah.

MI: Moving at an incredible pace.

GT: [laughs] And he lubed up the, uh, teludav lenses or whatever. [laughs]

MI: Yeah.

GT: Yeah, that was funny.

MI: We, uh, loved that slipperies so much, which was a Josh Hamilton episode, I believe, and that was just so funny. We wanted to, you know, sort of repeat that kind of--that kind of tone again.

GT: Yeah, and I-I gotta ask. In volume three, we see some of the Coalition ships, um, and we see on one of them Matt Holt and Captain Olia, and then there’s this Unilu who we see throughout the TV show. Uh, I think it’s a female Unilu, she seemingly only has one eye, a bandana or a heads--like an orange colo-colored, sort of head wrapping--and eventually in the show we see her as a bridge crew member on the Atlas. Does that character have a name? Does anybody behind the scenes have a name for that character? I always thought that that there was a very interesting look. I was very curious about that character.

MI: I know the character does, um, I’m struggling to remember the name, though. Oh man. I would have to look that up for you. I’m sure there’s a name, and I’m sure we had one, but I’d have to look through, you know. One thing that happens--alright, so I don’t work for, uh, DreamWorks anymore, and when I left, I had a DreamWorks email address and like a DreamWorks, uh, like, storage thing, and that’s where all of the scripts I wrote were, and now I’m always like, “Oh, well, let’s look that up and see where that was!” and it’s like, “Oh, I don’t have this anymore.” [laughs]

GT: Oh, bummer!

MI: I’m sure if I were to go, I’m sure someone there would be nice enough to go through with me and find them again and… but it would definitely be troubling.

GT: Yeah.

MI: And it’s on the tip of my tongue, I know there’s a name.

GT: Yeah, I was just curious. I-I-I remember, uh, Lauren Montgomery’s been very kind enough to answer some of the-some of those kind of questions. It’s just--it helps build out that universe just a little more. So, just something I just noticed in one of the panels, and I thought, “Oh, I love that character, even though I know nothing about her.”

MI: Yeah, Lauren would know for sure, I believe L--that was, like, one of Lauren’s favorites. I could be wrong--

GT: Oh, okay.

MI: --you know, the other thing is, it’s been, like, two or three years since I worked on Voltron, so it’s like, you know, the memories get a little hazy over time.

GT: Oh yeah. And so how would you compare your creative freedom in writing one of these comics versus an episode? I mean, were the comics--because they have to be kind of sandwiched between episodes--were they more constrained as a result or were they less constrained because they didn’t necessarily have to fit the overall story arc of the show? How would you compare and contrast that?

MI: We--it-it’s funny, because that constraint of fitting inside of, like, continuity, it’s very similar to when you write an episode to the show anyway because we have it so plotted out it’s like, you know, you know your beginning, you know your end, the whole team works on what it--what the journey’s gonna be like to get between those spots. So that’s, like, that’s kinda similar. Uh, I would actually say there are very, very comparable in terms of the process because, you know, we still had to have a lot of people sign off on it, it was a lot of, like, there’s a lot of collaboration. I had, uh, you know, Tim and I worked on it together, just like on the show, and we even had Josh, I believe, read versions of things. And, uh, it just--it-it felt very seamless as a transition. Now I will say that writing comic books was something Tim and I had never done, so in terms of, like, the formatting and thinking visually, that was totally different and I c--and it was, and it was very challenging. Like, when I write a script, I can see it in my head clearly and if I know what I’m going for, it kinda just flows out a lot of times. Sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it’s very difficult, but it’s like, you know, I hear Pidge’s voice and so I can, like, you know, Tab, P, Enter, line, Enter, move on. Like I know how to, like, just, like-like, fly through a script. But with, uh--and then, you know read it and rewrite it a bunch of times, et cetera. But with the comic, it’s like, so hard to think, like, “Okay, a photo needs to describe everything, and I have to describe it all in detail, and, like, and then--” It was just so--such a different mental muscle that I had to get used to. And I will say, like, honestly, like, when I went back and read the comics, like, Tim and I, when we read the first comic and we were very proud of them, and Lion Forge was so awesome to work with and so helpful. But even after all of that I was still like, “You know, there’s a few things that if I-if I’d really known how this was gonna look, might have written it differently so it might’ve been a little clearer” you know? Or, like, a visual joke could’ve planted, because it was a totally new process to me.

GT: Yeah.

MI: I mean, I still feel very much like a novice in that regard.

GT: Yeah, you were talking about having to describe things visually, with individual panels and all that. Whose-whose idea--since it was introduced in volume one but followed up in volume three, whose idea was it to depict Pidge’s computer-like thought processes as sort of, like, a-a command prompt on the-on the panel?

MI: Yeah, I think that was actually me because I read Tim’s, uh, Lance issue, and I thought and I thought that was so awesome, and I was like, “Oh I’m ripping him off.”

[laughter]

MI: And I was like, “Oh, if Lance is gonna look like that,” hers has to look kinda… it has to be Pidge and I was thinking, you know, Pidge is sort of, like, a techie, and whenever I think “techie” I immediately go to The Matrix, so I ripped off Tim and The Matrix.

MM: And when you have your characters wearing specific outfits, like in the second volume Pilgrimage, Coran gets to go back and wear that, uh, fancy cape outfit--

MI: [laughs] Yeah he does.

MM: --that he wore when he was trying to get to ride Red Lion. So, do you say in the script that he has to be wearing that outfit?

MI: I believe we did call that one out specifically.

MM: Okay.

MI: Honestly, the comic books, one of the things that, you know, when you write a script you can kind of be a little more evocative sometimes. It depends on the situation, it’s always different. But overall you can be a little more, like, you don’t have to fill in all the blanks on things. But with a comic book, they prefer you do. You wanna know, like, the blocking, you wanna know, like, you know, where people are situated. You can-inside the script you can put, like, comp art that you wanna use so the artist has some, like, help because they’re basically gonna go draw--I mean, it--that same thing happens in animation in a way, somebody draws a picture of it. But in animation, there’s like, a whole team, like, you know, and meetings, and there are storyboard artists before it even gets animated. It’s all in motion. But like, with a comic, it is like, you are handing a script off to someone that you might not ever get to talk to, and then they have to, like, read it, and get a pretty clear idea, so the more detail you give the better. And as a very lazy person, that was hard for me.

[laughter]

MM: So you didn’t get to really collaborate with digital art chefs on this?

MI: Not really. I mean, I never got to talk to any of the artists. I mean, I’ve met some people who’ve worked on the comics at cons, just it’s like, you know, and it’s always awesome to see them, it’s like “Yay! You did such an awesome job!” and they’re like, “Aw, thanks!” It’s like, yeah--but yeah, it’s like--they’re always sweet moments, but in terms of the actual collaboration, it was more like we turned in a script and then one day we got to see the comic. Which is, you know, that’s how it is. I know, I mean there’s more to it than that, I’m making it seem… [laughs]

MM: Uh-huh.

MI: But it-but it is, like, you know, we didn’t get to, uh, to talk or-or communicate really directly with the artists.

MM: Okay.

MI: Which is, you know, that’s-that’s not unheard of and-and, um, you know, in writing, you know, oftentimes you write a script and it’s just, like, you know, you get to go watch it on TV and see what happened with everyone else someday.

MM: I was gonna say, that happens with some other professionals, like sometimes the voice actors, they do their thing, and if they didn’t have to do an ADR session on something, they wouldn’t know what was going on, and they find out something happens to their character through--for the first time watching it when everybody else watches it.

MI: Mm-hm. And crea-creating a TV show is such a collaborative effort, and it has got so many moving pieces, and it-so, you know, there can be something that’s changed in boards, changed in, like, so many different aspects of the show where even in ADR it’s like, it’s still shot the same but the dialogue has changed, and that dialogue changes the tenor of everything. And so those moments, like, like the show is always an evolving process, and, like, luckily on Voltron, like, you know, like, I felt like every-every step of the process just got better and better. It was such a great team to be a part of.

MM: So I gotta ask you, uh, we had mentioned at the top when we introduced you that you had done some work with Fast and the Furious and you have left that since then and you’re now working on a top-secret project for Netflix. Has your position changed at all?

MI: I have, um, I have gotten a title bump from that. That’s one of the reasons I, uh, de-decided to-to take a new job, um, and so yeah. [laughs]

GT: Well, good for you. Congratulations! That’s great.

MM: Yes, congratulations on your promotion!

MI: Thank you, thank you. It was fun working on Fast, that was a great scene, and, uh, that show is gonna be so awesome. [laughs]

MM: And that comes out soon, right?

MI: No, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say what the release date is or not. I don’t even know if I know the release date for sure, I ha-ha-I have something in my head, but I could be wrong about it. I know a teaser recently was released and, uh, it’s like, woo yeah.

MM: Right. Yeah, that was a pretty cool teaser.

MI: Mm-hm. I don’t know if you guys know this, but Tim is, uh, the showrunner of that.

MM: Yes! Yes he is.

GT: Very cool.

MI: Yeah.

MM: We do know that. [laughs] So, if you had had the chance on this Voltron story that you had written, you know, in volume three--Absolution, right?

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: At the end, Allura basically says that, you know, the universe is safer because the information Lotor provided us, “It seems we might be able to trust him. It’s time to use even more of his information and finally put an end to the Galra Empire.”

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: So, if you had had a chance to go to a next issue right after that, do you think it would’ve been something related to something that was going on in the show? Or a totally different storyline after that?

MI: Well, my thinking was the next thing that happens after. Maybe not the very very next thing, but when they go to that Glara facility in the next episode of the show.

GT: That’s where they were flying around in those tunnels underneath the…

MI: Yeah, with the lava.

GT: Yeah, I know which one you’re talking about.

MI: “The Prisoner”. Yes. So, my plan was maybe there were a few extra missions that would’ve happened, but the next episode that that would link up with would be “The Prisoner” and when they’re on that mission to go in the Galra facility, that’s information from Lotor that they’re using again.

MM: Right, right. That was the first thing that they learned that they could trust him, because it worked out exactly the way he said it would.

MI: Mm-hm.

GT: That was really nice. I think that that one tied in most directly with the plot probably of all three of the volumes, because we see something that actually motivates Allura to have a change of heart.

MI: Yeah. I hope it worked.

GT: Yeah! It totally did. I think the comics a-are so fun in adding some side stories to the overarching plot without, uh, taking anything away from it. I think the-the generally standalone approach with the tips of the hat to what’s going on in the main plot are-are a really nice compromise between, you know, ignoring what’s going on, of course, with the show, which would’ve been kind of hard to do, and uh, getting way too deeply connected to it so that someone who had only read the comic wouldn’t know what was going on, right?

MI: Aw, thanks. I can’t remember if the-if we pulled it off as well--er, one of the intentions we had in the second comic was, um, the second volume comics, was that the castleship is, uh, damaged. So that’s, like, the next episode was going to be, uh, “Green the Cube”, which starts with them out there trying to fix things on it. And so--

GT: Ooh.

MM: Oh, yeah.

MI: --the idea was the castleship in the-the midst of all that action. That’s why they were out there repairing it when the-the uh--the spore with the hidden information arrives.

MM: Cool.

GT: Very nice, love it.

MM: And I-I did notice that there was an ongoing theme with the aliens in the comics. They were very animal-like.

MI: Yeah! We’re always looking for, like, inspiration in nature and stuff like that. One thing we did on the, uh, on the show, or one thing that I did on the show that I always liked, was I had these, like, D&D monster manuals in my office from all the different var--uh--versions of Dungeons and Dragons. And I would just, like, pull them out when I was kind of, like, bored or thinking about things, and I would just look at weird monsters in there and think, like, you know, “What if this monster were in space? What would that look like?” And, you know, it didn’t always evolve from that, but sometimes that could start the, like, a conversation where maybe it was like, we would come to, like, a cool new unique monster from that.

MM: That is pretty cool.

GT: Yeah. Marc had mentioned that one of the giant creatures that, uh, that was encountered was a baby. A gigantic, gravity-producing baby with a much larger mother. And it--was that inspired by anything in particular, or was that just… awesomeness? [laughs]

MI: There might’ve been one, but I just don’t remember. I do think that--you know, one of the things that me and Tim talked about many times was, like, just ‘cuz we have this, like, scale where we think things are big to us but if you’re a big thing, they might not seem that big to other big things, you know, and that was something we always wanted to play with. We always, like, thought that was a fun concept. And another thing that I always just like--was thinking about was, like, you know, the Paladins, you know, if you’re a human being, a hundred years is a very, very long time, but if you’re a creature that lives for a thousand years, that’s not as long to you. You’re a creature that lives for a million years, a hundred years is like a blink of an eye, you know?

GT: Oh, yeah.

MI: Zarkon, like, he’s been conquering for ten thousand years or whatever, you know, it’s like--so somebody who’s been around for a million years, that’s like, “Yeah, that new kid on the block, Zarkon.” [laughs]

GT: Yeah, that’s a good point, a-and I think Kythylian Mu from volume one--that character that Coran had known and pretended as though Coran owed all that gambling debt to--he had been around for thousands of years, too, which was really cool.

MI: Right. Yeah.

MM: There’s not a good chance of running into somebody that you owe a debt to ten thousand years later where they can actually add the interest to your debt.

MI: No, that would be very, very expensive.

MM: So now you owe him a Yalexian pearl.

MI: Yeah, and he’s gonna get it.

GT: So one of my favorite creatures that you guys came up with was, uh, Gantomor, the ancient Davdabhau--I’m trying to get that pronunciation--who protected the sacred grounds and was-and challenged Keith in the, uh, training deck of the Castle of Lions, and then challenged Voltron, and then challenged Coran’s sneeze.

[laughter]

GT: And the-the idea that this creature could transform itself to match its opponent was a really cool thing, was-was that inspired by anything in particular, or was it j-just… where did this come from?

MI: I don’t remember. I think that that was based on just weird conversations Tim and I would have about, you know, like, uh, the idea of like, what would be, like, a fun thing to fight? And it’s, you know, that’s kind of like a, I feel like a fantasy or sci-fi trope of, like, you know, there’s the thing that can match your power, so, like, having to beat the thing that can beat you. I think we even kind of have that, well, sort of, to a degree, in the ep-in the issue where Pidge has to fight her friends, you know, and it’s always like, “How do you beat these scenarios?” So we would try and lock ourselves creatively into a corner and then try and figure out if there was any way we could solve it.

GT: Yeah, that’s really cool.

MM: Plus that scene, okay, y-you have to suspend yo-your thoughts about, you know, can people survive in space for a little while because Coran comes flying in on a kotka, right? One of these huge things with wings and he--[laughs]--he’s wearing that uniform that we had mentioned earlier, but it’s definitely not a space suit, per se, and of course he’s got this virus that he-he needs to, like, sneeze on-on this monster in order to expose him to the virus.

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: So, we’re sort of like, “Okay, Coran’s going through space with no-no spacesuit on, okay. I’m okay with that.”

MI: He’s also, you know, he’s an Altean. They’re pretty strong creatures.

MM: Yeah. [laughs]

GT: I was about to ask you that. Is-is his ability to breathe, sneeze, and talk in the vacuum of space an ability that’s unique to Coran or or is this something that a-all Alteans have?

MI: I am not--I don’t have high enough rank to answer that question.

[laughter]

MI: I mean, I-I think that there’s a little bit of maybe just, you know, whimsical magic happening there.

[laughter]

GT: There’s nothing wrong with that. I was just asking. [laughs]

MI: Tardigrades can move in space. The little water bears, you know what I’m talking about?

MM: Yeah.

MI: The inspirations for the, uh, “Ark of Taujeer”.

MM: The Taujeerians!

MI: Yeah, uh, the tardigrades.

MM: Cool.

MI: The water bears. I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at those things, but th-they’re really weird-looking, but they can live in space.

GT: Yeah. And uh, yeah, the Alteans are great explorers, Allura said so herself, so, uh, talking in space in undoubtedly a very, very uni-unique gift to have.

MI: I don’t know if we’ve ever talked about this before, but one thing that I always thought was funny that is, um, early in the show they fight that, uh, training droid.

GT: Yeah.

MI: And Allura says, “This is fit for an Altean child!”

GT: Oh, yeah.

MI: “This is fit for an Altean child.” And it seems like she’s making a dig at them, but then you find out later she’s super strong. [laughs] And it’s like, “Oh! Maybe that was set for an Altean child.”

GT: Yeah, that’s a good point.

MM: That is a good point. Maybe she wasn’t digging them at the time.

[laughter]

MI: Well, maybe digging them, but digging them with facts.

MM: Yeah. GT: Yeah. Facts that they would not yet know, yeah.

MM: Back then we were questioning as to whether or not Allura was actually controlling that-that droid at the time,

MI: Oh, interesting.

MM: Yeah.

GT: The way they staged that where the droid just collapses and Allura is right behind it, it does-it does sort of, at first glance, y-you kind of think, “Hm, yeah. Was she manipulating that thing or did she just happen to be standing there?” [laughs]

MM: We kind of thought she was the one fighting them, almost.

MI: Maybe she was.

[laughter]

MM:I loved it when they went out in the lions for the first time a-and she-she’s, like, throwing all the Castle at them, you know, like, all th-the weapons that the Castle can-can shoot. She’s firing them.

MI: She’s being so positive.

[laughter]

GT: S-so now that you have, uh, working with Tim and then of course working solo, fifteen comic books under your belt, have you thought any more about writing comics for any other property or maybe going independent? What-what are your thoughts about that medium?

MI: I would love to write more comics some day, and I-and I really want to, but right now I’m a little busy and I’m a little stretched thin. And I also, it just has to be the right one, but I would love to do it again. It’s a really fun experience, especially, like, you know, the company Lion Forge was so great and they were so great to work with, everyone over there is so nice. It’s a really positive company and so, like, maybe if-if I could find something with them someday tha-that that could be really fun, but, you know.

MM: Did you hear about their merger with Oni Press?

MI: Oh! No, I didn’t.

MM: Yeah.

MI: When did that happen?

MM: That was just recently.

MI: Oh.

MM: Apparently they had been either acquired or merged with Oni Press.

MI: Huh. Cool.

MM: Yeah.

MI: Well, I hope, that just makes them even more powerful and awesome.

MM: Yeah.

GT: [laughs] These comics, re-reading them was just a blast. I remember enjoying each of the volumes as they came out and, uh, it was just a lot of fun to revisit them. One--when I first read the first two volumes, I did them through, you know, print, but when volume three came out, I tried at first to buy an e-comic, that was my first ever experience with that, and I don’t know that I--maybe I’m too old-school--but I really, I went ahead and bought the print versions later a-and re-read them that way. Are you into e-comics at all, or do you prefer paper, or… what are your thoughts on all that?

MI: I go back and forth. I-I don’t know if you did the guided comic experience, but if you have an iPad and you do the guided comic experience where, like, it moves between panels and it’s curated really well--

MM: Yeah.

MI: --that can be such an awesome way to experience a comic. Like, I use Comixology, I love it, and I have don-I have done that before, but there’s just nothing that beats going into a comic book shop, talking with the guy that works there, having the paper comic, going home, reading it. I said guy, it could be, you know, any--girl as well, I know for a long time I used to go to Meltdown Comics. There was a really sweet lady that worked there tha-that gave just awesome recommendations. She recommended the comic book Two to me, which I loved, then you go home, you read it, you come back and you’re like, “Thank you for the recommendation”. And it’s just, you know, it’s such a great experience, like, I, I-I don’t know, I could never completely give that up. But, that being said, as I said, there can be some really fun motion comics to read, too.

MM: Yeah, I have a subscription to the DC Universe and they have a comic reader in that that you can watch on TV.

GT: Really?

MM: Oh, yeah. It’s great, and it’s, like, the guided comic, like you said, it goes from panel to panel. You can do it either way, you can do the guided or you can do the regular where you see the whole page at a time.

GT: That’s amazing.

MM: Yeah.

MI: That is awesome. I didn’t know about that.

MM: And they’ve got the whole library of, like, twenty thousand DC comics that are in there.

MI: Wow.

GT: Huh.

MI: Wow. You know, I, at first, was so hesitant to use digital comics, and I was like, “You know, I’m old-school” and I had tried that guided comic experience, and for whatever reason, whatever comic I use, I didn’t really like it as much. I was like, “No, no, no, you should have the page,” you know? And then later on I had a friend tell me, like, “No, no, there are some really cool ones out there,” and I was like, “Okay,” and he recommended one to me--now I can’t even remember--but I went through and did it again and was like, “Oh, oh! This is awesome! Okay.”

MM: Yeah.

GT: That’s cool.

MM: That’s pretty cool.

GT: I wonder if it depends on--I mean, di-di--I wonder if they have to manually stage each of those comics, it’s guided so that it guides you appropriately, you know? In other words, is there a human being involved in taking a comic that’s completed and making that experience the best that it can be, or is it something they can fully automate? In which case, you know, one person might do a better job giving you that guided experience versus another, you know?

MM: Yeah.

MI: There has to be a human being that does it, you know, because it moves so oftentimes it moves from, like, like face to face with speech bubble to other face. And sometimes it, like, you know, i-into a-and then, like, of--it lets the panel build sometimes in certain ways, and sometimes it gives you the whole panel because it, like, you want all this information at once and you don’t want to overmove the, the i-image around, you know. A-and then sometimes, like, you want that splash page when that comic tends to be, like, “Woah!” you know? Like, it’s--there’s no way to-I think that could happen without someone, like, being involved in that.

MM: Right, and then sometimes there’s a lot of information in that speech bubble that takes a while to read, and then other times it’s just, like, one word, and sometimes th-that word is like a shout or something like that and it’s written in big letters and you wanna emphasize it by bringing it into the panel real quick.

MI: Yeah.

MM: You know, or something like that.

MI: It’s funny, it’s not--it’s just so interesting to me how there’s always so many people involved in creative endeavors, like, you know, if you wanna--when you’re watching a TV show, the amount of people that were involved in that, that worked so hard on that, it’s truly impressive to me. I mean that’s one of the reasons why at the end there’s all those credits, you know?

MM: Mm-hm.

MI: But similarly in comic, you know, there’s artists that work on it, there’s inkers, there’s colorists, sometimes that’s all the same person, sometimes not, you know, there’s letterers, there’s, like, it’s--and then, you know, for even to the level of, like, there’s probably somebody that helps curate that motion comic experience. It’s very cool, I think, to, you know. There’s a-there’s a--as a writer, there’s always a part of me that thinks, like, “You know, one of these days I’m gonna write a novel and it’ll be just, like, my thing, it’ll be my book.” And it’s like, yeah. Sometimes I think, yeah, that does sound really fun, but also, like, it’s really fun to work with other people. It’s really fun to see sometimes, like, you have an idea and it might come out different than you expected, but it be even better. It might have been plussed by someone else, you know?

GT: That’s a great point.

MM: The whole is better than the sum of the parts.

MI: Yes. Which, I mean is, I think, apropo when talking about Voltron.

GT: No doubt.

MM: Yes.

[laughter]

MM: We are always stronger together.

MI: Right.

MM: So, one thing I wanted to do before you leave, Mitch, is I wanted to thank you for all these years where you’ve been signing comics for us, an-and you and Tim and everything, and then providing these signed comics for prizes as, you know, for our listeners of the podcast, so I wanna-I wanna thank you for doing all that over the last few years.

MI: Oh, it’s been my pleasure. I should be thanking you. Thank you for all the support, you’re such a great person, you’re such a great fan. Both of you, I-I--it means a lot to me that you guys, you know, uh, like this stuff, you know. We work really hard on it, so when somebody appreciates it that means the world to me.

MM: Oh, yeah. It’s not hard to appreciate it all because you did such a good job.

MI: Aw.

GT: Absolutely.

MI: Keep going.

[laughter]

GT: Well, as soon as we learn about this top-secret project, a-and enjoy that and enjoy Fast and the Furious when it comes out, we will have more to say. Even more to say than we already have. [laughs]

MM: Right.

MI: Yay!

GT: [laughs]

MM: So, we will be watching your career with much interest.

MI: Thank you.

GT: Alright, Emperor Palpatine.

[laughter]

MM: We also look forward to the day when Monsters and Mana has its own comics line.

[laughter]

MI: You know, I-I’m not sure that’ll happen, but maybe, you know, as time goes on, I’ll find the time to do fanfiction for it or something. As long as DreamWorks doesn’t sue me. [laughs]

MM: Okay.

GT: Until then, keep the faith, right?

MI: Right. I can’t believe I got to do that episode at all, that was such a pleasure. So, you know, l-let’s focus on the good we have. [laughs]

MM: That’s right.

GT: That’s right.

MM: That’s right. Can--I can’t believe they paid me to do something that was so fun.

MI: I’m--that’s how I felt, I mean, I was like, every day, finish my stuff, then I got to sneak in little things that were, like, names of people that I play D&D with, their characters, and like, little inside jokes from, you know, people I played D&D with for ten years, so that was, like, tha--I mean, pretty much from the second I was told I got to write a D&D episode until now, whenever I think about it I have just a big smile. I’m really, really grateful for that.

MM: Nice.

GT: Yeah, so cool.

MM: Awesome. So thank you very much once again for joining us on Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast.

MI: Thank you.

[mechanical lion roar]

[outro music: VLD theme]

MM: Well, I have to tell ya, I talked to Mitch Iverson so many times in the past few years, but i-it felt a little bit bittersweet this time, I think. Knowing that we might not get a chance to talk to him again without another Voltron thing.

GT: Yeah? I mean, I think the same is true for a lot of the guests that we’ve had on i-in recent months. You know, Voltron: Legendary Defender is done. I mean, it’s-it’s not dead as long as we remember it and enjoy it, continue to watch it, and share the stuff that we like with our friends and family and all that good stuff. It lives on just as the original show and other iterations have. But yeah, it is a little bittersweet, isn’t it?

MM: Yeah, but I mean there were so many great episodes in there, and of course we talked a lot about “Monsters and Mana” because it was one of Mitch’s favorites to write. You know, that’d be like “Space Mall”--

GT: “Crystal Venom”.

MM: --”Crystal Venom”, “Reunion”--

GT: “The Legend Begins.”

MM: Right. All these great episodes that we loved from the show and everything, they each had a writer and Mitch’s favorite was “Monsters and Mana” and I know there’s a lot of fans out there who had said, you know, we could just do a Monsters and Mana, like, type of show and we would love to see that.

GT: Yeah, a-and you know, people were saying the same thing about the Blade of Marmora, maybe some spinoff novels or tie-in novels or whatever. Yeah, I mean there’s so much richness and variety in the Voltron: Legendary Defender universe that yeah, I mean there’s so much potential. But, uh, I guess at this point a lot of that’s up in the hands of fans to maybe pick up with their own fanfiction and if they haven’t already written a lot of that crazy stuff.

MM: “I wanna be a Paladin again.”

GT: Ah, there you go. Yeah. A-and I recall y-you’re kind of fond of the Black Lion, right?

MM: Yeah. Yeah. Always bet on Black.

GT: Ye-yeah, I’ve always been fond of the Yellow fellow, as, uh, Hunk called it in Voltron Force. Yeah. Old Yellow. [laughs]

MM: I thought that was pretty funny that, uh, there was actually a line from the comic where Hunk mentions the fact that, “I-I don’t want to tell everybody out loud, but I may have wet myself,” and Lance says, “Well, you do fly the Yellow Lion.”

GT: [laughs] Yes, I do love that.

[laughter]

MM: And it reminded me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “I’m so scared I soiled my armor!”

GT: [laughs] Yeah, I remember.

MM: And then later on, “I soiled my armor again!”

GT: [laughs]

MM: Yeah.

GT: Yeah. Interestingly, Lance in the comic, and, uh, of course, none of the characters in “Monsters and Mana”, none of them encountered the knights who say Ni!

[laguther]

MM: No. No. Hunk, though, he had a couple of the Davdabhau that had wanted to marry him.

GT: Yeah, he was a popular guy for a while there.

MM: And at one point, he actually says to them, “Well, I don’t think I can marry either one of you, and it’s mostly because, well, number one you haven’t met my mom. An-and there is this rock girl.”

GT: That was really interesting, wasn’t it? That he actually flat-out says it.

MM: Yeah. That was great.

GT: Yep. [sighs] I so love Hunk, I truly do. And apparently he had a pappy at some point named Herschel.

MM: That’s right! I was wondering where Herschel came from and I was thinking to myself, the only Herschel I can think of, there was a character from The Walking Dead that was named Herschel.

GT: Yes, I remember there--isn’t there an astronomer named Herschel, too?

MM: Yeah. I was trying to wonder where Herschel came from, but, I guess we could’ve asked Mitch, huh?

GT: Yeah, where the writers came up with it. Of course in the fiction, Hunk says it was, uh, one of his pappies from the past. A apparently departed pappy, but yeah! Yeah, there are so many more questions we could have asked Mitch, but there’s only so many, uh, only so many minutes we can do these podcasts and, uh, you know, maybe, maybe some things are best left as mysteries.

MM: Well, you know, we do have to give a proper review to these comics, right?

GT: Yeah, that’s true.

MM: So, why don’t we get together in our next episode and talk about these comics a little bit more in detail?

GT: Yeah. We’re gonna dive into all of them, aren’t we?

MM: Yeah, we are.

GT: Yeah. For our listeners who aren’t into the comics, don’t worry, there won’t be fifteen podcasts, one per comic. There won’t be three, one per volume. We’re gonna-we’re gonna cram ‘em all into one, and, uh, it’s going to be a lot of fun. Uh, you know, th-the comics are definitely worth checking out. I know that, uh, there’s some who, you know, who kind of dismissed them outright, but, uh, I hope that, uh, people will give them a look now. They really are fun. You can get them as e-comics on favorite places like Comixology, or you can still find them at, uh, favorite online vendors, or maybe even in some local comic shops.

MM: And you may still even find them on the Voltron store, or Amazon, or many other places that have comic books.

GT: Yep. Yep, yep, comics are fun, and so are the, uh, these Voltron ones, as well.

MM: So, we think we set it up really good with the Mitch interview.

GT: Yeah.

MM: So, thank you Mitch Iverson for joining us on Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast, and we’ll get right into the comics next week.

GT: Alright.

MM: We wanna thank you all for joining us on Let’s Voltron. Don’t forget to visit us on Twitter at @LetsVoltron. We’re also on Instagram at @letsvoltron. We are also on YouTube, the Let’s Voltron YouTube channel. And we also have a Let’s Voltron store on TeePublic. We’re also on Facebook. We also have a skill on Alexa where you can just say, “Alexa, open Let’s Voltron,” and you get a cute little quote that is, uh, one of up to a hundred quotes that are possible that you will get.

GT: Awesome, awesome.

MM: And of course you can listen to our podcast on many different places like Google Play, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, also Podbean, Stitcher, and of course on Alexa. You can also say, “Alexa, play Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast,” and you can listen to it right on Alexa.

GT: Or, of course, go to letsvoltron.com

MM: That’s our favorite place. Letsvoltron.com

GT: Yeah, I can remember that one. [laughs]

MM: Because that’s how you get to all of our other things, like we just mentioned.

GT: That’s right. We are all over the place.

MM: So, thank you for joining us once again, and we’ll see you all next time on--

Both: Let’s Voltron!

[outro piano music]

#teampurplelion #transcript #let's voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #vld comics

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fanfic-scribbles · 6 years

Text

Small Steps

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Everything is going great– you’re doing all right in life and your boyfriend, one Steve Rogers, is always a bright and shining light regardless. However on one otherwise wonderful date Steve starts acting squirrely, then disappears on you for a week. It’s worrisome but nothing you haven’t handled before.

Except then you get to find out firsthand just how unstable the Tesseract can be when a supposedly long-dead enemy of Steve’s walks into your life in a most unwelcome way. Apparently growing as a couple means you inherit some of Steve’s shitty luck.

Oh joy.

Quick facts: Romance – [established] Steve Rogers/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Kidnapping, fluff, use of the Cosmic Cube for story purposes that requires extra suspension of disbelief, Reader is meant to be gender-neutral but ‘sweetheart’ is the term of endearment used for them

Place in MCU Timeline: An alternate post-‘CA: TWS’ fic with Bucky as an Avenger.

Words: 7567

A/N: I wanted to space out my “Captain America” stuff but my Gabriel thing isn’t finished yet. So here we are! Anyways. This thing. Turned out way different than I intended. When I started it I wanted to write something reminiscent of a cartoon episode– adventure, a little touch of seriousness, a lot of fun, old enemies coming back, vague impractical science– but while it hits those marks it didn’t quite make it tonally like I wanted. I still like it; it’s just not quite what I meant to do. However if you can go along with the dumb ‘science,’ I think it’s still kind of fun, and it’s still fluffy Reader/Steve Rogers in a way I’ve wanted to do for a while. Please enjoy. (Also, a mental kudos to those who can spot my Hugo Weaving Easter egg.)

Blanket: check.

Food: check check check.

Boyfriend: …

You look at your phone in case there’s been an emergency, but no new notifications have popped up and the time is past what you agreed to meet at. As you’re putting your cell back down, though, you hear someone approaching, and soon enough the wall of awkward muscle otherwise known as Steven Grant Rogers shimmies through the bushes. You can’t tell if he thinks he’s small enough to go through them, or if he thinks he’s big enough for them not to matter. Either way, he ends up dusting leaves off himself and pointedly ignoring the opening by the tree he could have walked around.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says and drops to his knees to give you a kiss.

“I haven’t been waiting that long. Also: hi.” You smile at him and open your arms to show off everything. “What do you think?”

“I think it looks amazing, sweetheart,” he says and barely glances at it, instead keeping his gaze focused on you.

“Well, I know what I am, but what about the spread?” you tease.

The joke is dumb but his laugh is genuine, and he wraps an arm around you. “It looks great. You even got the wicker basket.”

“Go big or go home,” you say, and the two of you dig in.

Dating Steve Rogers is an…experience. A good one, but an experience that comes with its own challenges nonetheless, and those make you constantly on alert for when his phone might ring, for an explosion or shout in the distance that might take him from you yet again. This is something you’ve come to expect when your boyfriend dons a cowl and shield more famous than he himself is.

Still, you wouldn’t have it any other way. While it’s a little sad the world gives more credit to Captain America than Steve Rogers, it allows for moments like this where the two of you can sit in the park unbothered, feeding each other pieces of fruit and only half-hidden from the world.

“This is the best,” Steve says in a sigh, his head in your lap.

“I agree.” You run your fingers through his hair. The way he looks at you, with so much adoration– like you’re everything– is overwhelming. And wonderful.

“I feel like I could stay here forever,” he says like he’s in a dream.

“It’d probably get pretty cold eventually.”

“Not with you,” he says. He puts his hand over yours and laces your fingers together. “You ever…you ever think of spending more time together?”

“Um, all the time,” you say. What a strange question. “We pretty much steal every moment we can.”

“Maybe not every moment,” he says. But he stares at you and doesn’t say more. You quickly realize his attention, despite his gaze, isn’t really on you.

“Steve?” you prompt and he blinks. He opens his mouth but shuts it, frowns, and sits up so fast you lean back to avoid meeting his face in a very unpleasant way. “Steve?” you repeat.

“Did you hear that?” he says and looks around.

You do your best, but all you can hear are some annoying birds, children playing in the distance, and a mix of conversations too low and far away to understand. “Sorry, Steve, but it’s the park on a nice day. I’m gonna need you to be more specific.”

He frowns deeper. “It sounded like a–”

His phone rings and makes you both jump. It’s the actual, real ring that Tony has set for himself in Steve’s phone– because Steve’s ‘old’ and Tony thinks he’s hilarious. He had better be something to interrupt your date.

“Wow Steve,” you say as he fumbles to silence it. “You can hear a major annoyance before it even happens. You must have superpowers or something.”

He rolls his eyes but he’s smiling even as he picks up the call. “Rogers,” he says crisply and you start to pack up. The phone call goes about how you expect– hushed words and slowly rising hackles, until Steve’s shoulders slump, Atlas bending under the weight again, and he says, “Do we have any time?”

He looks relieved. “One hour, then. Thanks Tony.” Aaaaand he’s annoyed again. “Goodbye, Tony.”

He hangs up and shakes his head, but puts his phone away and picks up the basket. “Duty calls?” you ask and start folding up the blanket.

Steve, waiting to the side, snorts. “Tony is so far from duty it’s not even funny.”

“A little funny,” you say and hug the blanket.

Steve swipes it from you, squeezes it between the picnic basket top and handle, and extends his free arm to you. “Okay, maybe a little.”

Even walking back to your apartment, you have enough time for at least a twenty-minute make-out. It would have been nice to do it in the fresh air, but, honestly, it’s good anywhere. Steve is big and strong but soft and gentle. You could stay like this forever.

When the timer goes off you and Steve both pull back with almost identical groans of regret. Still, you fix his hair to the best of your hand-combing abilities, and he straightens his shirt.

“Call me when you can,” you say, unmotivated to leave his lap.

“I will.”

“Don’t be reckless.”

“I won't.”

“Come home safe,” you say, throat tightening at the thought of anything else.

Steve hears it, because of course he does, and he holds your face with large, gentle hands. “I will,” he says, like it’s a promise, but without actually promising. Still, it’s enough to set you at a standard sort of ease, and you extricate yourself from his hold just as someone knocks.

“Movie night when I get back?” he says as he heads to the door.

“I’ll pick something out,” you say. “Be safe.”

He gives you one last smile before he’s gone.

It’s been over a week since Steve left and you are about to lose your mind.

He had called barely a few hours in, saying that it seemed pretty easy as far as most jobs went, and he should be home in a few days. Bucky had even chimed in, teasing and light, and then they went dark.

Now it’s onto a week and a half and you have heard absolutely nothing since. Without knowing what they have been doing, but knowing Steve would never go incommunicado without a very, very, very good reason, you can do nothing but wait. And it sucks.

You let out a sigh and fumble with tired fingers to unlock your door. Throwing yourself into work and chores has only stolen so much of your attention, but at least it leaves you too tired to be conscious for long. Not that even unconsciousness can keep you from worrying. You wouldn’t give Steve up for anything in the world, but goddamn, you really hate that costume sometimes.

You slide out of your jacket and go to shut the door, but a hand from outside snakes right in and catches it and a man– or something like a man– forces himself into your apartment and slams the door shut.

You stumble back, unable to take your eyes from him. You should call for help but his face– it’s like it’s only a skull with a thin veneer of flesh pulled over it. And it’s red. A name pops into your head but that’s– it’s not possible.

“Who–” ‘what,’ you want to ask, “–are you and what the fuck are you doing in my home?”

“My goodness; history classes aren’t doing their jobs well, are they?” the guy ‘tut-tut’s and walks towards you. You walk backwards and don’t dare take your eyes off of him. You hesitate to let him anywhere near you.

“Oh, I know. Gruesome, isn’t it?” He strokes his chin. “The serum can’t make us all as beautiful as your Captain Rogers.”

Having an inkling is one thing. Having confirmation is another. “It’s not possible,” you say and almost trip over the couch. You turn to run for the bedroom but he punches the wall in front of your face. You yelp and turn the other way but his other arm is there, caging you in, and you press your head and back flat against the wall as he leans in.

“So you do know who I am.” Johann Schmidt– The Red Skull– grins and he’s even more grisly. “Good. I’ll make this quick then– you know who I am and what I’m capable of. I have a van waiting on the street outside, full of operatives with very sensitive trigger fingers. If you come with me willingly they will be driven away without stepping foot on the ground. If you resist I will call for them, and they will eliminate every potential witness in this building.”

You fume because ‘overkill’ could not be more literal in this case, and he doesn’t need Hydra operatives to handle you. He’s terrifying enough on his own. Still. “Even using words like ‘Nazi,’ Steve really didn’t pay enough attention to what an asshole you are.”

“That’s something we can discuss on the way.” He smirks and stands up straight. “Well?”

“I’ll come,” you manage to grit out.

“Excellent choice,” he says. He grabs your jacket and helps you back into it. Your skin crawls but at least now you have a buffer when he links his arm in yours and escorts you out. There are some armed people making sure you get out unnoticed, and you barely breathe until you’re out back and a dark van drives away.

You go back to silently panicking when a limo pulls up in its place. More worrisome is that two armed goons get out to let you in. The limo isn’t filled to capacity but it ends up with you and the Red Skull facing each other, two guys on either side of you, and the two men who had stepped out returned to the back seat. All of them are military-looking and armed likewise.

“Seems excessive,” you comment lightly, eyeing one of the ridiculous guns.

“I wasn’t sure what to expect,” he says, pulling off his gloves. “After the likes of Peggy Carter, I must admit, you are disappointingly average.”

Your stomach twists up. “Yeah, well, one of these things is not like the other. I’m just a friend.”

He laughs and pulls out a phone. “Forgive me; I know I’m relatively new to this time, but…”

He holds the phone out to you and you lean in closer. The image on the screen is a little blurry and grainy so you squint. Is that a park? And a couple of people…

You gasp and sat right back when you recognize that place, that day. “Very friendly indeed,” Schmidt says and slips the phone back in his coat pocket.

“How did you–”

“How long have you been involved with Captain Rogers?”

“Not that long.”

“There’s no need to hide it.” He taps his phone pocket. “The picture is bad quality, but the scene itself was quite romantic. He cares very much for you.”

You really, really cannot hate that implication more. “He has a team to watch his back.”

“I have to wonder how ‘inspired’ they are by their leader at the moment. Given his…‘delicate’ state.”

Your stomach sinks. “What?”

“Oh. You don’t know.” He smiles, mocking and cruel. “Unsurprising, really. I imagine they’re trying to keep what happened a very close secret.”

“What did you do to him?”

“Oh, I simply took him for a trip down memory lane.” He chuckles. “You’ll see.”

You can’t see much, tied to a pillar in the depths of a drafty old underground parking garage, so you assume he was being rhetorical.

“Are you comfortable?”

Case in point.

You grunt into the gag pulled tight between your teeth, and attempt to pull on the restraints. There is absolutely no give which, yeah, figures. Your wrists and ankles were bound before you were strapped to the column and, thankfully, don’t seem to have impeded bloodflow (yet), but between those and the chains wrapped around your upper body and thighs that hold you against the stone, you are definitely not going anywhere.

“Excellent,” he says, smiles, (because that face can always be creepier), and turns to bark orders at his underlings.

The level is crawling with black-clad mercenary jerks– from what you can see in the dim lighting. You’re far away from any entrances, in a corner that doesn’t smell like anything other than concrete. On one hand– yay. On the other hand– this place is so out of the way even shelter-seeking homeless people and miscreant teenagers don’t use it for anything. Honestly, you could be anywhere, now that you think of it; Schmidt had knocked you out a few minutes into the ride and you had woken, tied up on the floor of the car just before they had dragged you out and pinned you here.

“Leave a few guards here, just in case,” Schmidt says. “But place most of them on the second level. He’ll never get all the way here.”

With that, you are left with only a few gunmen for company. And with that: worry. What did Red Skull do to Steve that makes him think three guys– even armed to the teeth– would be any match for Steve? You’ve seen him on the news taking out ten at a time and felt perfectly relaxed. What is happ-

One of the guards cries out and crumples, jerking like he’s having a seizure before falling still. Another one does the same just moments later, and the last fires a few shots before a slight-figured shadow throws a small silver thing that attaches and electrocutes him so thoroughly that he falls at your feet. A little too close, for how he’s sparking.

The person comes out and you expect Natasha. Maybe Clint.

You do not expect a five-foot-something slender blond man with a very familiar face.

If it could, your jaw would drop open. As it is, you can barely speak even after he removes the gag. “St-Steve?!”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says, short and quiet, like he’s embarrassed.

‘Memory lane,’ huh. What an asshole. Still, Steve leans in to kiss you and this is one good, familiar thing so you stretch your neck to take and reciprocate. Only, he pulls back suddenly and says, “S-sorry,” and in what topsy-turvy world do you live in where your boyfriend stops himself from kissing you and apologizes for it?

Well, probably the one where you’re tied to an enormous stone support in an underground parking garage. Right. Stupid priorities. You swallow your disappointment– you’ll have plenty of time for comforting make-outs later. “Well. That explains Red Face von Gloating.”

“Are you all right?” Steve asks as he cuts through the ropes on your wrists and ankles.

“Yeah, fine,” you say and shimmy, but the chains are tight and in awkward spots. “Please tell me you have a plan beyond ‘just show up like the bad guy told me t-’ what is that?”

“Don’t worry,” Steve says and puts the weird-looking welding torch against the metal. “I got it from Tony’s lab.”

That’s not as reassuring as he thinks. You’ve seen Tony’s lab. But you’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, if only for your own peace of mind. “Is that where you got the little silver things too?”

“New Widow’s Bites that Tony was working on.” Steve grimaces. “Natasha’s going to kill me.”

She’ll have to get in line. You see no one, but that’s not reassuring– especially when the metal doesn’t give, even under the efforts of Tony’s toy. “Let’s get back to the part where you absolutely waited for backup, right?”

Steve does not look at you. “I’ll see how this works on the lock,” he says and darts behind the pillar.

“Steve!” you hiss and turn your head. Of all the–

“There was no time! And they never would have let me come.”

“Yes, imagine that, keeping the bad guy from getting what he wants. Seriously Steve?!”

“I won't let him hurt you.”

Stubborn little– “I don’t want him to hurt you! You need to–!”

Cold metal presses against your temple and you freeze. The slight clanking goes quiet, the chains still, and Steve whispers your name with dread.

“Come out, Captain Rogers,” Red Skull says, holding the gun steady as Steve steps out, hands up.

“Let them go, Schmidt,” Steve says, unfairly calm for a guy with ten guns on him, and while getting frisked. He winces only slightly. “They’re an innocent civilian; they’ve got nothing to do with this.”

“They inserted themself into this the day they fell in love with Captain America,” Schmidt sneers but he takes the gun from your head. “Perhaps, though, if they disavow you…”

Schmidt grabs Steve and yanks him easily in front of him to face you. Steve moves to fight, but stops when the gun is pointed at you again. “It shouldn’t be difficult. You haven’t known he’s been like this for nearly a week, so how much does he trust you, truly?”

You flinch. A week? Steve’s face turns almost as red as Schmidt’s. “You–” is all he growls out before one of the henchmen slams the butt of his gun into Steve’s head.

“Steve!” You try to go to him on instinct but, of course, in vain. They grab him and two men hold him up as he bleeds and tries to stay conscious. You’ve never seen him in so much pain; it hurts you to see it.

Schmidt points the gun at your chest. “Renounce him and you can live. All you have to do is tell me how you loathe him and I will set you free.”

Steve groans out your name. “Do it. Please.”

This is stupid. The whole thing is under such duress that you wonder how Schmidt could possibly think Steve will take you seriously. But, well– the guy is deranged, so all you have to do is lie. It should be easy, even; just take the things you like about Steve and invert them. You’ll all know you’re lying and Schmidt might (might; you doubt he’d just let you walk away) not kill you.

You open your mouth…but nothing comes out. You try again. “I…I…”

“Yes?” Schmidt says. He presses the gun against your skin. “I will not wait all night. Do it. Turn away from him, or die.”

Steve says your name again, pleading, and you make the mistake of looking at him again. Blood is streaming down his face, his small body is restrained by two big goons and draped in clothes too baggy for his skinny self, and big blue eyes are begging you to do your worst.

But you can’t. This is Steve, the man you love more than anything or anyone else, and you can’t let even an ounce of doubt worm into his brain. It’s stupid, but for whatever reason it’s asking too much.

Also, you reason, there is no way this crazy bastard is going to let you go no matter what. So why do what he wants?

“Rot in hell, you fascist fuck,” you snap and stand straight, bracing yourself for the blast.

“Oh, so unwise,” Schmidt says and pulls the hammer.

Only to get clocked by a real hammer.

You shut your eyes as the place fills with lightning and you can only hope you don’t become an accidental casualty. The air tingles and the lightshow goes on but you remain unstruck, and the sound of a battle fills the air. A bullet strikes stone next to your head and you yelp as the shards graze your cheek.

“Stay still!” Natasha orders as she races behind you. You choke a little at her harsh pulling on the chains. She comes back out, swearing, and touches her ear. “Stark, we could use a little firepower. These aren’t normal metal.”

Tony, as Iron Man, swings your way but as these jerks bring out the bigger, scarier version of a Gatling gun, he wisely, thankfully, goes the opposite direction. However that still leaves you open and immobile in the middle of a firefight.

“Don’t move,” Natasha says sternly and leaves you.

“What?” you ask, only a little panicked, you sw–

Steve’s shield slams into the stone column, cutting through the top chain and rattling you so much you almost fall forwards. But, Steve is right over there with Clint, so who–

Bucky races in, grabs the shield, and rips it out of the wall. Oh. “Sam!” he yells and throws it to Sam, who whirls like a goddamn Roman gladiator and throws it right back to cut the chain around your legs.

You look at Steve, stunned, and his smile is all fierce pride.

Then you remember that you're in the middle of a war zone, underground. Natasha pulls you over to Steve and Clint, and Sam and Bucky follow. You immediately latch onto Steve and don’t let go. He’s smaller, sure, but he’s still Steve and there’s no one in the universe you feel safer with.

“It’s okay; you’re okay,” he says and kisses your head. “We’re gonna get you out of here.”

“We’re getting you both out of here,” Natasha interjects.

“But Schm–”

“Long gone,” Bucky grunts and pauses to reload. “And– Steve.”

There’s something meaningful in that but you don’t look up; you’re clinging to Steve and trying not to shake. You’re succeeding at the first, not so much with the second.

“Right. Right,” Steve says and sighs. He pulls on you and it takes you a moment to realize you need to stand with him, because he isn’t going to pull you up.

“Steve, what is going on?” you ask, helpless and hopelessly confused.

He squeezes you and despite the different body, the feeling itself is comfortingly familiar. Steve is here, Steve is holding you; Steve will keep you safe. For the moment, that’s all you need to know.

You’re feeling more like yourself now that you’re in the safety of Stark/Avengers Tower. More like yourself and more aggravated by the moment.

“You haven’t known he’s been like this for nearly a week…so how much does he trust you?”

A week. Fuck.

Steve comes in with a heavy sigh and plops onto the couch next to you. You scan him briefly. “So Natasha didn’t kill you.”

“Not yet.” He flashes you a crooked smile. “She’s waiting until I’m back to…normal.”

Normal. Right. Normally you’d be curling up to Steve.

Normally Steve would have called and said something weird had happened but not to worry. And you would have been fine with that.

Normally.

“What happened– starting with the moment you left,” you say and turn to face him.

Steve looks apprehensive, and then looks away entirely. “We found a Hydra cell doing possible experimentation in a compound. The whole team went, just in case. It was– well, not exactly a trap, but they caught wind just before we arrived and they were in the middle of running. We cleared the place, bagged the operatives there for SHIELD, and freed some hostages. I got hit with…something. It didn’t do anything at first but within an hour I was in agony, and another hour later I was like…this.”

He takes a breath. You wait. “We stayed for a couple days, trying to figure out how to reverse it,” he says and looks at you. “Tony and Bruce grabbed everything relating to the tech they used. It’s a lot that’s over my head, but relates to energy from the Tesseract, and is also how Schmidt come to be here. What they shot me with was…targeted time travel, basically.”

“So you’re…” Your head hurts; this is stu- wait, wait. “Shit, why are you out and around people with all these fucking germs and–”

“Relax; it’s all right,” Steve says, grasping your hand, and waits for you to take a deep breath. “It was a weird thing to begin with, and imperfect. I’m as small as I was, but I’m not sick at all; it didn’t go back far enough to take out the serum completely. It’s going to reverse itself eventually.”

“Eventually.”

He shrugs. “Within a few days probably. Hopefully.”

“Hm.” There’s a lot to unpack. You’re not sure how to start.

“I’m so sorry.” Steve holds both of your hands. “I never thought he would come after you. I didn’t know he even knew you existed.”

“Apparently he likes to creep on couples at the park. He had pictures of our last date.” You heave a sigh. “I don’t really care about him though. I mean– I care; I have a hole in my wall thanks to him–”

“I’ll fix it,” Steve says eagerly. Too eagerly.

“Steve,” you say through grit teeth. He stops and you breathe. “So it took a few days to figure out what was happening. Where the hell did you go for the week after that?”

“Um…” Steve looks away again and that nagging sense in the back of your head becomes a full shrieking alarm. “Back…here.”

What.

“You’ve been in town. For days after being hit by a weapon that caused you pain and changed you physically, and you…didn’t call me. Why.”

Steve says your name plaintively but fuck that. “Why.”

“I…” He actually steels himself and sits up straighter. The way he does when he thinks he’s right. The fire inside your gut stokes itself to a blaze. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

“I’ve been worried. Did you get my texts? My voicemails?” You stand and pace, trying to work out some of the roiling aggression. “You went dark Steve.”

“I’ve done it before,” he says. “For longer.”

“For life-and-death situations where a phone ringing can get you killed, not after you get hit! Not while you’re staying in the same fucking city and recuperating! I am always, always there!” Fucking hell; you’re close to furious tears so you stand in front of him and try to calm down. “So why didn’t you tell me? The real answer please.”

“Really, I didn’t want you to worry. Look at me!” Steve says and gestures at his body.

“Yes, I noticed and sure I freaked out, but I calmed down as soon as you told me you can’t get sick like you used to,” you say. “I-I’m sorry, Steve; I can’t imagine how disorienting it is to have changed bodies yet again, but that’s the sort of thing you’ve come to me to talk about before. Why wouldn’t you come to me now, of all times?”

“We’re waiting on it to reverse itself, but we don’t know if it actually will. What if…” He looks at you, hard set but you can see the small spot of fear. “What if this is permanent?”

Jumping from one body to another and back again; you can’t imagine how disorienting this all is and platitudes will do nothing to soothe him. But you have to try something. “Steve, it’s going to be okay. I’m sure you’ll get back to yourself– however you need to be.”

“And if I don’t?” Steve says.

“Uh…” You have no idea how to respond. He sounds like he’s looking for answers, not reassurance. “I don’t know, Steve, this isn’t really my area of expertise, but you have a well-known voice by now and you don’t have to be big and tall to make a difference; I’m sure if this is how things stay then me and everyone will all be able to help you find a–”

You feel like you just got stabbed in the chest.

“You…” You have to swallow. “You’re not asking for yourself,” you say slowly. “You’re asking for me. What I’ll do. Like…you think I’ll dump you if you stay like this.”

Steve says your name and reaches, but you backpedal so hard you almost trip over your feet. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you.”

Steve says your name again, but at least he’s dropped Cold Captain for some emotion. Even if that emotion is panic. “It’s not–”

But he stops there. “You can’t even lie to me and tell me it’s not that. Can you?” you ask. He looks pained, but stays quiet. The knife twists deeper and you’re not sure which feels worse– the anger or the sadness. Both make for an impressively painful combo, and you can only bring yourself to about a whisper. “Why is it you would rather me think you were dead than know about this?”

He shakes his head. “It’s not like that, I swear,” he says. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

“I need space.” You start walking. It takes from the couch to the elevator, and then up a few floors, before you’re contained enough to be around people. It feels like you’re barely ready in time before the elevator opens and you enter the common area to see Tony, Pepper, and Natasha.

“Hey Tony, can I ask a favor?” you say. He’s just taken a drink and extends his arms. Before he can ruin it by speaking, you say, “Do you have a spare room?”

He frowns and you brace yourself. “You’re not staying with Rogers?” You’re not sure how much to divulge but Natasha spares you the choice and whispers in Tony’s ear. He recoils. “He didn’t tell–”

“Tony,” you say, feeling bone tired. It’s been a very long day. Thankfully he seems to get that and talks to Jarvis, so you ignore Pepper’s sympathetic look and whatever Natasha is doing.

The latter comes forward to squeeze your shoulder. “Give me your key,” she says. “I’ll go get you clothes.”

You hand it to her mutely, and as she leaves, Tony says, “All right, I’ve got something five floors away from Rogers. Does it need to be further?”

“It just needs a bed and a door that locks,” you say. “Thanks Tony; I’m sorry if I’m putting you out.”

He waves it off. “Even if I didn’t have a million floors, we’d just kick Rogers to the couch and let you have his room.”

You force a small smile. “Thanks Tony.”

“Get some sleep kiddo. You look like Bruce after a science bender,” Tony says and you take your leave. A science bender. That sounds a lot more fun than the realization that the man you're in love with thinks you’ll ditch him because he’s not big and buff. Fucking…

There’s a hot meal waiting in the kitchen when you reach the empty apartment. You debate going right to bed, but you decide you should probably eat something.

You’re still picking at it when someone knocks on the door. Your stomach churns at the few bites you’ve had. “Who is it, Jarvis?”

“Sergeant Barnes,” the AI says primly and you breathe a sigh of relief. Well, partial relief; he is Steve’s best friend, after all. “Shall I allow him in?”

“Yes. Please. Thank you.” You stab a piece of food with your fork and the door opens.

“Hey,” Bucky says gently. “I went with Nat to get you some clothes. We were totally proper; I swear.”

“There’s a first time for everything I guess.” The joke comes out flat, but Bucky chuckles politely. You stay where you are, hunched over food you don’t really want to eat.

Bucky comes over to drape an arm around you. “I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to eat that, not pick it apart to a molecular level.”

“Meh.” It is good, you think. You’re just not hungry. What if Steve thinks he’s right about you being fair weather? What if he thinks you’re a liability? What if…

Bucky squeezes you closer. “You okay?”

“I’ve had better days,” you say. “You?”

“Same.” He stays, and it’s nice. Not as nice as it could be, but Bucky is a good friend and you like having him around. You want Steve, though. After being kidnapped by one of his worst enemies– who is still on the fucking loose– you really want him close, but you…

“Bucky, why did he think…” You hold your head and stop. Bucky is your friend but he’s Steve’s first and you don’t want to put him in a bad place either; you just want to know why.

“Hey,” Bucky says and squeezes you tight. “I’m sorry. Nothing I can say right now is gonna come out right– it’ll either be throwing him under the bus or pushing you to work past it. As much as I wanna help, this is between you and Steve. But you love Steve and Steve loves you; I got faith the two of you will work it out. I know it.”

At this point, you can only hope.

You can’t sleep.

Today is officially the worst day ever.

Tony’s taste isn’t lacking in comfort in any way, yet you can’t seem to find a single ounce of it. The pillow isn’t right, the mattress isn’t right, the bed isn’t right, even the floor isn’t right and you’re ready to– well, not punch a wall, but do something drastic.

Except, when you think about it, something drastic is the only thing that seems good. You give your common sense a few seconds to kick in and, when that fails, you get up.

Steve answers the door looking disheveled but just as awake as you. Clothes hang off him and he looks unfairly adorable when his big blue eyes get even bigger. You would make a joke about him being lucky he’s cute, but the thought just makes your scowl etch deeper into your face; you can feel it. He says your name and smoothes back his hair. “What…what do you need?”

You sigh. And grumble. “You.”

“What?”

“Can’t sleep,” you say and stride past him for the bedroom. He follows a few paces behind, and stands hesitantly as you get into bed. With one sharp look, though, he scrambles in next to you, and Jarvis shuts off the lights. You still can’t sleep, but you feel a little less on edge with Steve beside you. Even if he is nothing but a tight ball of nerves.

He’s even carefully monitoring his breathing, the goddamn adorable jerk. You sigh and turn on your side, and wrap your arms around him. He freezes for a moment, then relaxes and wraps his arms around you. “Are you…okay?” he asks.

“I’m…something.” You sigh. “But being kidnapped is traumatic enough and I need the company.”

“Jarvis is–”

“I feel safe with you.”

Steve inhales sharply, like he’s surprised.

You roll your eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m still mad at you.”

“I understand,” he says. “I’m pretty mad at me too, right now.”

But that’s not going to fly, and you shift back so you can see his face in the slice of moonlight. “For the record,” you say, “Schmidt’s a moron. I didn’t fall in love with Captain America. I fell in love with Steve Rogers– the man who was running in the park and stopped to help correct my drawing. The guy who came back to sit and draw with me, who kept coming back, who was sweet and kind and somehow also the biggest smart-ass I’ve ever known. That guy. That’s my guy.”

Steve’s eyes widen. You swallow. “I can’t imagine how jarring it is to get tossed between bodies, but this…” you put your hand on his chest, “…is still Steve Rogers. You may piss me off sometimes– if you didn’t I’d call ‘imposter’– but I still love you.”

He lets out the biggest sigh of relief you’ve ever heard, and his voice is filled with hope when he says, “So earlier–”

“You didn’t tell me. I was pissed.” You run your hand down his chest. It’s strange, but not terrible; just…unfamiliar. “We’re supposed to be partners, Steve. You’ve trusted me with so much. It hurts that you didn’t trust me with this.”

“I get that,” he says softly and takes your hand in his. “For what it’s worth, it’s not that I didn’t trust you to see me small–”

You glare at him.

“Well, not just that,” he quickly corrects. “And not mostly that. I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. I wanted to call you, I wanted you here, but at the same time I didn’t want you to see me like that. Like this. But I also didn’t want you to see me panic. I…I try to be strong. I want to be strong for you, to be someone you can lean on whenever, but this whole thing– Schmidt being back; the idea that Hydra could theoretically bring other people back, like Zola; that I can’t be part of the team like this, that I can’t look out for Bucky and Sam and Natasha and everyone– I…panicked. I holed up on my own for days, trying to get myself out of that headspace. I should have called you, I know that now, but I felt overwhelmed and I wanted to handle it myself.”

You take that in. “So it’s less that you were vain, and more that you were being a hyper-masculine fuckface.”

“…Yes.”

You want to scream. You settle for giving him the dirtiest damn look you can muster. “I could fucking smother you right now.”

He smiles sheepishly. “I’ve learned my lesson?”

“I fucking hope so,” you say. You shake your head. “Confiding in me doesn’t undermine your authority, Steve.”

“I know.” He presses his forehead to yours. “I know that now. I should have known that before. And I swear I’ll do better. I’ve come to you about things I haven’t told Bucky. I should have trusted you with this. I’m sorry.”

You nod. He does sound contrite. “Six pounds or six-hundred pounds, if you’re still you, I’ll still love you.” Logistically, you have to add something. “But if you get to be six-hundred pounds then you need an electric wheelchair. I can only push so much.”

“What if I was just bulky? Like Hulk?”

“I’d need a bigger apartment.”

“What if you got that anyway?”

“Huh?”

Steve props himself up on his elbow to lean over you. “I wanted to ask it, that day at the park, but I chickened out. I’m not going to be a coward anymore: I love you and I want to live with you. Would you move in with me?”

This is not how you saw the day going. But it is a definite uptick to a pretty terrible middle half. You feel a little smile starting to form. “But however will you hide from me then?”

He winces. “Consider this a lesson learned.”

“Oh, it will be,” you promise, because this was a big, big thing and you are far from through. But. “Yes. I want to be with you as much as possible. I’d love to live with you.”

His smile is a beam of sunlight and he leans in to kiss you before he lies back down. “I can’t wait; I bet you’ll take over the nook by the window.”

Well it is the nicest part of his– hold up. “Why your apartment? What’s wrong with mine?”

“Well…” His smile is mischievous. “I guess we could move into your shoebox…”

“Hey,” you say and push him playfully. He moves more than you expect and that fuels all sorts of ideas. “Oh…I have not been taking advantage,” you say and get up to straddle his lap and pin his shoulders down. Steve’s eyes go wide, but there is a definite sheen of pleasure in them even before you lean down to kiss him senseless.

Later, you’re about to doze off when Steve gives you one more kiss. “I love you,” he whispers.

“Love you too,” you mumble and fall asleep easily.

You wake to a scream.

You jump to sit up immediately and feel Steve writhing in the bed. The lights come on and you see him thrashing, face twisted into a grimace and shining with sweat. You try to put your hand on his arm but something under the flesh ripples and you yank your hand back. His body. Changing. He’s in so much fucking pain you can’t hardly stand it. “Steve! Steve! JARVIS!”

The door opens and Bucky comes charging in. Steve shouts and brings his hand down on the nightstand so hard a piece breaks off. You watch in horror as Bucky wraps him up in his arms, partially restrained, and runs out.

You follow him without hesitation, and as soon as the elevator dings for the medical level you rush out with him, though he’s much faster than you. Bruce is already hurrying to one of the rooms, along with a couple other people in lab coats, and Bucky– with Steve– goes in ahead of them.

You rush, but someone– Sam– catches you by the waist. “Hey,” he says soothingly. “Let them take care of this.”

You hope the look on your face properly conveys the level of ‘are you crazy?!’ that you want it to. “Sam, he’s in pain. I have to be there for him!”

But Sam shakes his head, and Clint and Natasha flank him. You have no chance at getting in on your own now, but that doesn’t stop you from trying. “Sam, please!”

Steve’s scream is only barely muffled by the door and you try to tear out of Sam’s grip only for him to yank you back and say your name. “If it were you, would you want him to see you like that?”

Tears sting your eyes. “That’s not fair.”

“It is though,” Sam insists and holds your shoulders. Firmly, but at least he isn’t squeezing your stomach anymore. “His strength is unpredictable right now; he can be holding your hand one moment and breaking it the next. Bucky’s gonna stay with him; he’s gonna be there for him.”

That’s…nice. But it doesn’t stop you from wanting to stay. Even if you can’t be with him. But when he screams again, it hurts that much more. “Was it this bad? The first time?”

“Oh yeah,” Sam says. “We, uh, learned from experience on that one. He almost broke Tony’s arm even through the suit. And you have to know how Steve would feel if he hurt you, even on accident.”

It would kill him. You sigh heavily and let the weight of it rest on your shoulders. “Fine. But after I take a shower and get dressed I am going to sit right here.”

“You don’t have to,” Sam says like he knows exactly how you’re going to respond to that. He’s not wrong.

“I know,” you say. “But I’m here. Good and bad all.”

It’s pretty bad. The screaming lessens over time, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. Luckily everyone now knows how you feel about being kept in the dark, so they keep checking in with you. They keep you company when they can, but you don’t expect them to hang around all day. You have nothing better to do. You don’t think there’s anything better for you to do.

By the afternoon Bruce comes out and beckons you forward. You scramble out of the chair and run in right past him.

Bucky is leaning against the wall, looking exhausted. He gives Steve a little nod, stops to hug you, and then goes on his way. Bruce goes too, shutting the door behind him, leaving you and a sleeping Steve alone.

He’s back to his Captain America frame, but his frown stays on his face. You take the seat next to him, and run your hand over his brow. His eyes flutter, and he turns his head to look at you. “Hey,” he croaks and smiles.

“Hey yourself.” You scoot closer and kiss his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

His smile is more of a grimace, at first, but it relaxes into something truly relieved the more he looks at you. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Not coming in after me,” he says. He holds your hand and squeezes it lightly. The broad palm and long fingers are a normal feeling, but you sort of miss his spindly digits. “I’m glad you didn’t see me like that.”

You roll your eyes. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to do that?”

He’s nonplussed. “I can imagine.”

“Would you have left?”

His grin turns crooked. “It’s a good thing our friends are as stubborn as we are.”

You groan, and press your forehead to this. “Steve Rogers, you are a real jerk sometimes.”

“A real lucky jerk,” he says. “Somehow I’ve got the best person to put up with me.”

“This person sounds like an idiot,” you say.

“They even agreed to move in with me.”

“And spend all their time with you? Gross.” You tilt your head to lay it on his pillow. “They must really like you, then.”

He nods. “They like Steve Rogers.” He holds your hand and squeezes. “And that’s all that matters.”

“I agree,” you murmur and allow your lips to graze his cheekbone. Those didn’t change much. “Steve Rogers is what matters.”

“And you,” he says and nuzzles your face. “Steve Rogers and you.”

Indeed.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #captain america fanfic #captain america reader insert #avengers reader insert #captain america x reader #angst with a happy ending #mild angst #fluff #couple's fight #established relationship #kidnapping

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joyofcrime-elinorhigh · 5 years

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Teen Titans Go To The Movies REVIEW:

Ahem

"I DON'T KNOW WHO CREATED...TEEN TITANS GO!....BUT I'D TRIED TO FIGURE OUT HOW WE GET THEM TO HAVE TEEN TITANS _GO. TO. THE. POLLS." _ *Beat*

"I'm with her!"

** **Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt, and it's time to finally put this to rest. I've already gave my very...very...very extensive thoughts on Teen Titans Go! in my last two reviews.

Oh my gosh, why didn't I call those reviews "Teen Titans Go! is Garbage and Here's Why?!" It was probably long enough and would of gotten way more views!

But back on topic. To summarize my thoughts though I think Teen Titans Go!, while I do think that there are some good elements and even good episodes of the series, I didn't end up finding it to be a very good series on the whole. However, it is a series that I do enjoy watching in a weird, ironic kinda way. It's a very love hate relationship. It's a bad show, but I will be sad when it ends, cause it has impacted my life that much. So when word of a movie came to be, it immediately grabbed my interest as well as my curiosity. What could a show like Teen Titans Go! possibly do with a movie? Teen Titans Go's! whole "thing" is that it DOESN'T do big superhero stories. Wouldn't making a film kinda go against what the whole show was about? And the show typically had trouble stretching there plots out for eleven minutes, let alone ninety. But as more trailers came out, I started seeing a lot of people genuinely getting excited for the film. Even I had to admit I was kinda getting a little bit hyped by the trailers. And when the film finally did get released it actually succeeded in getting over a ninety percent on rotten tomatoes! Yes, you heard right, CRITICS WERE LIKING TEEN TITANS GO! Could this movie actually be....good? Or would it end up being as obnoxious as the series that it was based on? Well, it's time to find out. Consider this your **SPOILER WARNING, **as we dive right to Teen Titans Go To The Movies.

I both love and hate that title.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9WhJyyTtqo

The film begins with a giant balloon monster attack Jump City. And right off the back, I wanna praise the animation of this film. I admit, compared to other tv to film adaptations, it's nothing that _fantastic. However, there is a definite improvement from the series. The backgrounds are very fleshed out and detailed, chock full of little references and Easter eggs here and there. And the animation on the actions scenes (Yes, this film has those) is actually really good and surprisingly fluid. I admit though, this may just be slight bias because I'd pretty much praise any form of theatrical 2D animation now of days because COME ON, HOLLYWOOD! WHY WON'T YOU MAKE MORE 2D FILMS ALREADY!!!

_ We get a scene that manages to, in a very quick and effective manor, establish the films tone as well as show off all five of our main characters and establish there powers. Really impressive stuff. Is what I would say, If it didn't also includes an overly long fart joke, and a rap. Wow, six minutes. Is that a record for "kids film?" Guinness..can we verify?

When the Titans, in typical Titans fashion, fail to stop the villain. This results in the Justice League to show up and stop the villain for them. And NICHOLAS CAGE plays Superman! YES! Okay movie, you get points for that. I'm fair here. That's also another thing this movie has over the series. Not all the side characters are played by Scott Menville or Tara Strong! They have like, MORE than five voice actors to pull from. Amazing, I know. The Justice League chastise the Titans for there general incompetents at everything, and bring up the fact that if they were real heroes they would have there on movie by now.

As I mentioned in my previous reviews, Teen Titans Go! is at it's best when it's meta. And with so many superhero movies now of days, the Teen Titans Go! movie not only acknowledging this trend, and incorporating it in it's plot feels like a natural progression from the type of plots featured in the show. So I think this was a good direction for the film to take. There are a ton of jokes bashing not just DC films, but Marvel and Fox movies as well. And these jokes tend to be the highlights. When I first saw the trailer I was worried that these jokes would quickly get old, seeing how many of them are in the trailer. But in the film proper, they mix it up and spread them out enough to keep them enjoyable. So kudos on that.

The Justice League fly off to go to the world premiere of Batman's newest film and the Titans decide to sneak into the red carpet premiere themselves. As they show up the films director, Jade Wilson (played by Kristen Bell), get's up on stage and starts revealing the slate for the next several DC movies. And just like in real life, there all Batman spin-off properties! Robin sits there in anticipation, hoping that a movie will be announced. But we get this, instead.

See, the thing about this that is funny is that THERE ACTUALLY DOING THIS. I doubt the people making this movie knew that at the time. But neither the less, it's happening, and I have proof.

After a few more trailers Robin ends up jumping on stage thinking that his movie is going to be next only to discover that there is no plans for a Robin movie. All the other heroes laugh him off stage until all the Titans run out of the theater. The other Titans try to consul Robin, but Robin is adamant that if he doesn't get his own superhero movie he'll never be seen as a real hero. Raven suggest that if he wants a movie, first he'll need an arch nemesis. And just as she says that a crime occurs and the Titans go to investigate.

The crime is being committed by none other than Slade, now voiced by Will Arrnet instead of Ron Perlman. And he is there to steal some kind of "mind gem." I like Slade in this movie. Sure, he's absolutely NOTHING like Slade from the original series, but that's okay cause he is his own unique take that fits the tone that the movie is going for. Also Will Arrnet is great casting for a more comedic take on Slade. I mean the creators of the original Teen Titans show said in interviews that they wrote Slade to be an evil Batman. So who'd be better to voice him than Lego Batman himself. My only gripe, and it is a minor one, is that while the film makes a big deal about Slade being a "serious villain" that only a "serious superhero" would have as an arch enemy. But he's only _slightly _less silly than the Titans. And while this isn't that big of a deal since Slade is funny here, it does seem to kinda go against the narrative that Slade is suppose to representing.

Also, when Slade and the Titans meet, and neither seem to know who each other are, with the Titans believing that he is Deadpool. Even though in the series the Titans have acknowledged Slade in the series before, and even battled him before. (off screen, but still.) How does this all fit-

Slade easily defeats the Titans, and mocks them for there incompetence. The Titans go back to there tower where Robin begins to feel sorry for himself, believing that he will never be a real hero. What? _Character conflict?! _The next morning the Titans get Robin and bring him to a "world premiere" of a Robin movie they made for him, complete with a cardboard limo and everything. _What? Something touching...no, that's not right. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL TITANS!?

_ I do wanna touch on this. In this movie the Titans act very out of character from how they do in the show. But that is actually a good thing, cause the Titans in the series...are awful. In my previous Teen Titans Go! review I talk about how the original series Titans felt like a family, while it felt like the Go! versions just hated each other. But in this movie all the characters are way more likable. (Mostly, we'll get to that later.) And there feels like a real sense of connection between the characters. Sure there still goofy, and they make fun of each other, but they really do feel like a family. And this goes a LONG way with making me feel invested and actually rooting for our heroes to succeed in there goals.

Robin watches the film, but turns it off when the movie makes fun of his "baby hands" (A running "joke" from the series.) The other Titans try to get him to finish the film but he's uninterested. _Man, I'm sure that won't be brought up again. In the films climax when the characters are at their lowest point! _Robin is hard set on believing that he'll never be seen seriously as a hero, but the other Titans encourage him to buck up and head down to Warner Bros. and DEMAND that they make a movie about him. And they do so in song.

This seems like a good of a time as any to bring up that this movie is a musical. Possibly the first superhero musical? The song themselves, while nothing THAT amazing, are a step up from most of the songs in the series. i.e) They actually seem like they were written. (And that's not me being hyperbolic. A lot of the songs in Teen Titans Go! are made up on the spot! Look it up!) But what I really appreciate is how for several of the songs there is an art style shift, and that's really neat to see. Especially with a theatrical budget.

The Titans go down to Warner Bros and go up to Jade Wilson and demand for a film. But she turns them down, saying that she would only make a movie about them if they were the last heroes on Earth. And that's exactly what the Titans decide to do! They decide to use time travel to go back in time and undo all the other superheroes origin stories so they'll be the only superheros.

Yeah, this is the direction we're going. It's Spongebob: Sponge Out of Water all over again.

And they can't use there time machine from the series cause it's "broken." So Raven just magic ups some time tricycles. WHATS THE POINT OF THE TIME MACHINE EVEN BEING BROKEN THEN IF RAVEN CAN GET MAKE NEW ONES NO PROBLEM? They could of made some joke where they like, steal Booster Gold's time machine at least. You just wanted a dumb "Back to the Future" reference didn't you? DIDN'T YOU! And while playing "Take on Me" makes me forgive you A LITTLE BIT, this whole situation is still stupid.

In fact this whole "bit" is still stupid. And I say "bit" cause this whole time traveling section contributes nothing to the plot, and is only like, ten minutes long. The Titans go back in time to undo all the superhero's origins. (And end up murdering Aquaman as a child.) They come back to the present to see that villains have taken over the world. And then they go back and undo everything they already undid. (Including blowing up Krypton and frickin shoving Bruce Wayne's parents into Crime Alley as young Bruce watches!)

_That's his adoptive grandma he's watching get shot down... _ And I know you can say "Oh, it's comedy" or whatever, but this movie was actually doing a good job making me like the Titans. And maybe it's just because I've always had issues with the "main characters nonchalantly murder people" trope. But considering that this whole time travel thing literally adds nothing outside of stretching the film up _just _enough to reach ninety minuets, I can say it does nothing but hurt the film.

Also, Baby Superman gyrate his infant crotch while pointing at it, in this film aimed at children.

As someone who's defended the Powerpuff Girl reboot's twerking scene numerous time I suppose it be hypocritical to complain. So instead, I'm just going to list movies that have a lower rotten tomato score than Teen Titans Go to the Movies. For...unrelated reasons. Ahem

_Lilo and Stitch. The Kung-Fu Panda Trilogy. Princess and the Frog. Tangled. Frozen. Coraline. The Lego Batman Movie.... _

Anyway after all that, the Titans go off to try to stop Slade from committing another robbery. And this time the Titans are sure they'll beat him. We get an actually good fight scene and some Raven-Beast Boy ship tease that comes out of nowhere and contributes nothing. I know it's a thing from the show, but nothing in this movie setting it up. And it doesn't lead to anything. The Titans are able to get the "Mind Gem" that Slade stole earlier away from him and they put it in the Titans tower vault, but Slade still escapes.

But the next day, the Titans are suddenly seen as real heroes for stopping Slade's plan. They head back to the film set and are greeted with a much warmer welcome. Jade decides that she does want to make a Teen Titans movie after all, and Robin is ecstatic. However, the other Titans don't take the gig as seriously and all go goof off, getting Robin into hot water with Jade.

It all comes to a head when the other Titans see the Justice League building some kind of doomsday device, and assume that Jade is up to no good. Which is dumb because they have no reason to assume that it isn't just a prop for the film. But whatever. However, Jade reveals that this doomsday device is actually just a machine to launch there new streaming service. The device would broadcast DC films across all screens all over the word, with the Teen Titans movie being the first film they would release for the service.

You're telling me that Jades launching a DC superhero based streaming service, and the only thing it will have at launch is Teen Titans? Pfft! _That's totally ridiculous, and completely unrealistic..._DC Universe didn't have Titans at launch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJF7k5cFQEQ

Jade gets angry and decides to fire the Titans. But says that she would be willing to make a solo Robin movie, since he didn't do anything wrong. Robin chooses to go with Jade and leave his friends behind. I admit, this is where the movie does start to become a bit predictable. You've seen this story arc before, the friends vs fame thing, and it goes exactly where you think it's gonna go. But I do like how there isn't a huge fight like you'd see in other movies. Both sides are upset that it's come to this, but clearly don't wanna hurt the other. Again, outside the earlier genocide of an entire planet, the Titans are pretty likable in this film.

Robin and Jade begin working on the film, and it ends up being everything Robin wanted. But he's still beginning to feel some regret. However, Jade convinces him to buckle through it and film the last scene. A reenactment of Robin putting Slade's mind gem in the Titans vault. But right as he's about to enter the code a stage light knocks him out. He awakens and decides to finish the scene anyway. Jade telling him to make the scene look authentic. And again, it's pretty obvious where this is going.

Robin puts in the code and the safe opens. Jade took Robin to the real tower while he was knocked out and reveals herself to be Slade in a Lupin III style latex mask! Okay, maybe that last part wasn't too predictable. But even ignoring the name JADE WILSON, It was telegraphed pretty obviously that Jade was evil since the scene where she made Robin chose fame over his friends.

But hey, it's still a better twist villain than Frozen.

Slade steals the mind gem and plans on using it in tandem with Robins film and the streaming service to mind control the entire planet to do his bidding. He handcuffs Robin to the tower walls and activates a series of bombs, leaves him to die. But Robin escapes thanks to his baby hands. A twist that is just as unexpected as it is stupid. The tower is destroyed but Robin survives, and realizes the error of his ways. He calls the other Titans and all is forgiven because they are a team.

The Titans now head to the film studio to stops Slade's plan, but they are unable to stop him before he uses Robin's movie to mind control the entire Justice League. Robin goes after Slade while the rest of the Titans have to face down the Justice League. There's a short action scene that could of been longer in my personal opinion. Then Raven just uses her OP magic powers to trap the entire Justice League in a portal.

**NOW YOUR THINKING WITH PORTALS! **That's..that's the meme, right? I-I haven't ever played_ Portal._

Robin confronts Slade, but Slade surrounds Robin with monitors all playing his movie. Robin becomes tempted to view his movie and gets mind controlled. In a nice (though juries still out of if it was intentional) callback to the original series, Slade commands Robin to attack his friends and he complies. But wait, remember that obvious Chekhov's gun from earlier in the film? It's time to pull the trigger! The Titans play the movie they made for Robin, but this time they get to the end where they all talk about how much Robin means to them as a leader. The power of friendship frees Robin from Slade's mind control.

But Slade has a mech now! This was not set up at all, but who cares at this point. _Mechs are cool damn it! _Slade once again mocks the Titans, asking how a team as goofy as them could possibly stop him now. But Robin and the rest of the team realize that they don't need to be "legitimized" or seen as "real heroes." They just need to stop the bad guy in there own way. We get a reprise of the rap song from the beginning as the Titans defeat Slade in their own silly way. They destroy the mind control device and the Justice League go back to normal. The movie ends with the Titans realizing that they truly are heroes and...wait a minute...something is off here. It's 2018...and this movie doesn't end with a dance party! Teen Titans Go!, the show that is known for random dance sequences, is actually one of the few modern films not to end with a dance party ending?! What the hell?

But we do get our post credits scene!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F06HJTyB17c

Is this it? Is this the preview for Teen Titans Season 6?!

Not quite! Rather it's just setting up an upcoming "Teen Titans Go! vs Teen Titans" crossover, that's rumored to be heading direct to DVD with a new crew working behind it. You what that means right? It isn't over. My job isn't done yet. There's still more to talk about! THE RIDE NEVER ENDS, BABY! I'M GONNA KEEP TALKING ABOUT TEEN TITANS GO! UNTIL THE DAY I DIE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwDIZT3XbjQ

While Teen Titans Go To The Movies didn't do that great at the box office, the film had a low enough budget to end up making a pretty substantial profit. Which is more than most DCEU films can say. I doubt we'll see the Titans on the big screen anytime soon, but it wasn't a bomb critically or financial. But what is my final verdict here?

The film in a lot of ways solves a lot of problems I had with the series. For one, the Titans are all a lot more likable, which goes a long way in helping me get invested. And while the show seems to conflate "conflict" with "serious" this film manages to have a plot and story while still keeping it's comedic tone the entire way through. More technical issues the show had like animation and reusing voice actors are near non-existent here. And the film manages to do what I think episodes like "The Return of Slade" tried and failed to do. It celebrates it's own silliness and imperfections, but does it in a way that isn't just "attacking the haters." Like I said, Teen Titans Go! is best when it's meta. But the film has it's problems too. The plot points at times can be kinda predictable. There are a lot of scenes that really don't add anything to the story beyond stalling for time. And there are a lot of points where the humor falls back into the same loud, juvenile, mean spirited jokes that the series is known for. Also, while Robin is my favorite of the Titans, I would of liked the other characters to have a larger role. For a film that's whole climax is hinged on the idea of a Robin solo film being a bad idea, but that's what the film can kinda feel like at time.

Overall, the film is about what I thought it would be. It's okay. It's up there with the best of the episodes of the show, but not really going that far beyond it. (In fact, I'd say their are a few episodes from the main series that are better than this film.) It's good, but I wouldn't call it 91% on rotten tomatoes good. If you like Teen Titans Go! you'll like this movie if you're willing to put up with a little more drama. If you hate Teen Titans Go! you'll like the movie if you are able to just turn your brain off and put up with some more childish jokes here and there. And if you can't do either of those things...watch Lego Batman. It's better than this film anyway, regardless of what rotten tomato says, and has a similar vibe about it.

And with that, I can finally put Teen Titans Go! to rest**. For now! **What did you think of the movie? Was it "You're new favorite film?" or was it just as bad as the many people said it would be? I'd love to hear your thought in the comments down bellow. Fav, follow, or comment if you liked my review or have a suggestion on what I should talk about next. And tune in next week as deviantcember continues! Have a great day.

(I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Teen-Titans-Go-To-The-Movies-REVIEW-774742614 DA Link

#Teen Titans Go To The Movies #DC Universe #Teen Titans #Teen Titans Go #review

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hopelesstargazer · 6 years

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End of the Year Tag

So....I was tagged by @saijspellhart....never done one of these before so here goes nothing.

~favourite food?~

Okay, so I am a Minnesota raised girl and do love a good wild rice hotdish (and yes there is a difference between hotdish and casserole and if you don’t know, let me know so I can explain!). However my favorite food is either pupusas or pozole (latino cuisine). Both of them I over eat when my godchildren cook them for me and never regret it!

~favourite drink?~

Ummmm....Diet Pespi. Yeah, we won’t get into how cranky I get if I don’t have at least one pop a day. My godsons might have a story or two about how possessive I get in the late morning over my can of pop on the weekends....

~favourite clothing?~

My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fleece pants and my long sleeve Cuddle-Duds. Comfort for the win. After a long day of dealing with people, nothing is more comforting than cozy wear.

~favourite product?~

.....Pespi?.....I think. Does that count when you are an addict? Like can a pot head say that their favorite product is potbrownies? If not, I would say Google! Because it owns me and my information searching needs. After all, if you don’t know something, Lord Google will know it. Thus, All Hail Lord Google!

~favourite month?~

I’ve never thought about it. I guess you could say I like March. It was the month I was born and I like the little myth that comes with the month. The month of the Lion and the Lamb. My grandmother (a wonderful mother to 11 and a farmer in Northern MN) would always tell me that you knew how the month would go in the very beginning. If the weather was shitty and roaring at the start, it would leave calm and sweet at the end. Or in other words, if March came in like a Lion, it would leave like a Lamb. Of course, the opposite applies as well. If this is true, I honestly couldn’t say. I think it does, but I’m already bias so who really knows?

~favourite season?~

I’m fond of either Spring or Fall. It’s not too cold, but it’s not too hot. You really get those glorious days where the sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a magnitude of colors everywhere. It is just rejuvenating.

~favourite holiday?~

I’m partial to Easter. And before you ask, yes I happen to be Christian, BUT that is not why I like the holiday. I like Easter because it symbolizes rebirth. It symbolizes a new beginning, a fresh start. When you go into this season, you might have just experienced a shitty winter or the pervious year was just horrific. Thus, your soul is all crusty and flaky and thinking that nothing gets better. Then this season of new beginnings start and there are baby animals, new flowers, laughing children, and brightly colored eggs everywhere! It is a reminder that life is nothing more than a cycle. Yes, horrible things can and will happen to you. Yes, it will be dark and sad to deal with it all. Winter, both figuratively (in your heart/soul) and literally, SUCK ASS! But! BUT! There will always be a moment of something new. Something bright. Something colorful. Something living. Something that will bring you up out of the ground of cold despair and into the light of a new beginning. Even if it is for a moment, it is there. Easter is the holiday/season that best represents what it means to be human. A shitty start that only turns into the brightest and warms of sun rays. And that is my Ted Talk, thank you for listening.

~favourite place?~

Minnehaha Falls! Gooseberry Falls! Or any waterfall. I adore waterfalls. The sound of crashing water and rushing waves drowning out bad thoughts. The scent of crisp water pulling you into the moment. The sensations of moving water rumbling in your chest. The sight of dancing sprites in the sky as water droplets create rainbows. Cold water taking the heat from your body only to leave a pleasant tingle in its wake. *blush**cough* I’ll stop with the poetry now.

~best experience?~

So, I took a trip to Scotland with my Father at the beginning of this year. I would definitely say that was my best experience of 2018.

~best song?~

Best song? Of all time or this year? This year I really like Burning Man by Dierks Bentley. Of all time, you can’t beat the Hokey Pokey. It is a must have dance song at every public gathering. I have no shame when I say that I request it and drag EVERYONE to the dance floor.

~best movie?~

We have to clarify this nonsense for next year. Honestly, it’s just too vague. Best movie? This year? Of all time? Genre? Or is it just me that over thinks this stuff? *sigh* Okay, I thought Black Panther was extremely good, not just because it was an excellent superhero movie, had amazing female leads, astonishing action sequences, and wonderful humor. It really made me think about how hatred can pass down through the generations. It made me reevaluate how I teach my students in karate class and how I speak with/to them about social problems. Since most of them are immigrants or children of immigrants, it was an eye opening experience. Let’s leave it at that.

~best series?~

TV series right? (again with the over thinking simple questions) I really enjoyed Miraculous Ladybug, Voltron, How to Train Your Dragon, The Dragon Prince, and My Hero Academia. Granted, I also rewatch a bunch of anime classics as I taught the ways of being a nerd to my godsons. I’m proud to say that we have finally left the realm of Naruto and moved on to the great chasm that is known as Deathnote and One Piece.

~best book?~

Okay, so this one is exciting for me. I was suffering Tumblr and found a post that simple said “if Deadpool wrote a book, this would be it.” So of course, the ten year that still loves poop jokes and crude humor in me scream in joy and bought the book. It is called “Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology” by Cory O’Brien. I wish I could find the link so you could read some excerpts from it. I’ll just have to quote it.

“So one night Uranus is about to get busy with Gaia again I guess so he can father another baby and then stuff it back into her but instead of getting sex he gets a SURPRISE PENISECTOMY”

“So the moral of the story is that if you are not ready to be a father consider all of your options before skipping directly to cannibalism”

“ARE YOU READY FOR DISTENDED RACCOON TESTICLES? NO? WELL, YOU BETTER GET READY QUICK BECAUSE JAPAN JUST CALLED AND IT’S ‘BOUT TO DELIVER ONE WHOPPER OF A BALLSACK TO THE BAINPAN”

“So the moral of the story is that we should seriously consider firing the moon because I didn’t know we could do that and I bet we have the technology now to genetically engineer a WAY BETTER MOON than some dumb rabbit.”

So...10/10, greatest book I’ve read this year

~best video game?~

I don’t play many video games. Frankly, if it is not a bashing the buttons kind of game, I’m no good at it. Thus, I really like Shounen Jump battle game. I can hit random buttons while having no real skills. I also like watching people play them. That would lead me to Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Such a pretty game!

~have you unlearned any bad habits?~

hahahaha...oh, are you serious?

~biggest disappointment?~

I didn’t get back into college like I planned on. I just couldn’t find the time to give myself in order to achieve what I wanted.

~worst experience?~

If we are talking about this year, then that would go to almost dying in a bus accident in the middle of the Highlands in Scotland. It’s a great story that I love to tell, because it turns out to be the funniest tale of my really long list of horrific stories. Minus the thought of dying on some random hill and how inconvenient it would have been for my mother to retrieve our bodies cause I didn’t buy travel insurance.

However, if we are talking about ever in our lives, then that golden trophy would go to the time I, a store manager at Dollar Tree, was threaten with a plastic shank over $0.50 on hour 15 of my shift where I slept in the store that night so I could be there for the delivery at 5AM. That was horrible. Funny in hindsight, but horrible at the same time. Let me know, I can tell that story too.

~any new hobbies?~

Where do people find the time to start new hobbies? Serious, could you donate that precious time into a bank so I could have some? I would greatly appreciate it.

~did you achieve your goals for 2018?~

hahahahahaha....oh, you’re serious again?

~have you fulfilled a long-term wish?~

Ah, this it did! So, back in 2011, I studied abroad in Scotland and vowed to take my father back so he could see the country that I fell completely in love with. Severely in love with. Like, I would marry any Scottish man that said to me, “Ach, lassie, yer bonnie and me heart tis yers. I have this castle in ta middle of the great Highlands. Would ye leave with me to Gretna Green to marry ov’r an blacksmith’s iron?” I would say yes in a heart beat. A HEARTBEAT YOU HEAR?!

~have you tried something new this year?~

um, I dressed myself in a kimono for the first time by myself. That was stupid hard. Also, I did a bang up job if I do say so myself (after the fourth attempt).

~what plans or wishes do you have for next year?~

Let’s see, I am the best man at my best friend’s wedding in May, so I got that going. Also, in September, I’ll be going to Japan to visit my sister who is working as an English teacher, so I got that to look forward too. I would love to find some time to myself so I can try and finish my college degree that I started back in 2009. Cross your fingers. Also, I would like to complete this book I’m writing for myself. I would really like that. Oh, and finally, sleep more. Yeah, sleep. Good thing that is.

~what was the funniest moment?~

Serious, I teach kiddos karate at my church. I have no shortage of amazing moments in my life. Also I have three godsons and a goddaughter, stories are made every weekend. But I can tell you one of my favorites.

So, I’m teaching this not-yet-seven-year-old an introductory class to karate. I’m explaining to him that not only does yelling scare the bad guys away, but it tells the teacher that you are breathing. So I asked him playfully, “Do you like to breath?” And he stops all motion and looks at me. Then he shrugs and says “not really.” Needless to say, I too stop to stare at him, stunned by a response that I had NEVER received in my 13+ years of teaching children karate. So, I logically asked why not. This tiny little american-latino child that comes up to my waist tells me with the straightest face I have ever seen “Cause it take a lot of work to breath and I don’t know if I have the time for that.” (#mood much?) I’m losing my mind trying to hold in my laughter. Thus I spend the next few minutes with a 6 year-old having a philosophical discussion about the pros and cons of breathing. Eventually, we agree that blue is an ugly color on people’s face and we cannot do karate in our sleep so he had to stay awake and moving instead of passed out on the floor due to the lack of air in his body. Once that was establish, I asked another instructor to take over because I simply had to find a corner to sit in as I collected my laughing ass off the floor.

I will forever remember this child as the boy that I had to convince that breathing was a good thing and made me almost piss my pants in the middle of karate class. TWICE because that little stinker had to randomly blurt out in the middle of a different class weeks later that we were wrong because blue was a flattering shade on dead people and we should not be racist to dead people.

I will now kindly remind you that this boy is 7 YEARS OLD.

~what are you thankful for?~

I am thankful for family and friends. I am also thankful to @saijspellhart. In my desire to let her know that she is not alone, I am finding the courage to become more open with myself and other around me. So thank you. I hope that this year will be a rebirth for both of us and tons of smiles for everyone that reads this.

As for tagging other Tumblr users, I am too damn shy for that. Instead, if you are reading this and want to do this, tag me! I would love to get to know you and your likes. It’s nice to see the humanity on this site. Thank you for getting to the end and I hope to get to know you too!

#text #long post #end of year #hopelessstargazer get to know #well this happen #this was fun #blog #ask blog

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