#i kinda hate this set but uhhh oh well lol

[withleeknow]

[theplatypusblue]

COMPILING ALL LEGENDS OF CHIMA SEASON 1 THOUGHTS BELOW THE READ MORE (super long post, written as I was watching)

(I can be a little mean but I promise I’m having fun lol)

Episodes 1 + 2:

Man this shits super boring.

Idk if I can get behind craggers plot line tbh. He’s too much of a dumbass for me to really root for him.

The lore seems really cool so far. I like the settings and the stuff about the legend beasts.

Like?? Forest full of trees that just fall down all the time? Epic.

Legend beasts are especially cool cuz it means this is how Chima characters react when seeing a regular ass lion for the first time:

Episode 3:

Man Laval really fucked everything up.

I have a feeling all of cragger’s dumbass-ness, like, transferred over to laval and now we’re gonna be seeing him making all the dumbass decisions

The only thing I really care about here is the b-plot about Gorzan and his flower. More engaging than the main plot

Episode 4:

Prediction about Laval replacing Cragger as the resident dumbass seems to be coming true

Gorzan is quickly becoming my favorite.

Oh hey look it’s the beavers!! I remember they show up in that one episode of ninjago. I had zero context for what they were all about then but now I know!!

Episode 5:

The gorilla tribe seems like the most chill out of everyone. Gorillas 👍

Can I just say I hate the fucking skunk. He sucks.

Honestly kind of a nothing episode

Episode 6:

Eagle spire does that cool thing where all the buildings are built on super scary precipices. There’s literally a post going around about this exact thing but I can’t find it rn

Oh so the eagles are just a bunch of nerds. A little weird I guess(?) I feel like eagles are usually symbols of strength n stuff so that’s different. It’s giving cloud kingdom.

“Wing girl” tf kinda nickname??

Apparently the ravens are double crossing everyone but I have not been paying close enough attention to what’s going on to really process that

Ok so it was all an extremely convoluted way for the crocs to get everyone to fight each other. And the ravens tried to profit but they’re kinda stupid so nothing really worked out for anyone

Episode 7:

Purble moon??? Epic

Man the bears are so epic just like me fr

Nooo don’t mess w the gorillas they’re so chill :(

I am entirely uninterested in the 100 year full moon skunk fart lore. Sorry.

It’s a little strange and maybe I’m hallucinating but I feel like the animation has has somehow gotten better?? Like the lighting or smthn…. Or the facial expressions???

Oh….. skunk fart lore is plot relevant………

Now that I’m thinking… is that the only skunk in chima?? Cuz rn it looks like just the one guy

Episode 8:

Oh it’s a big boy chi

There’s a fucking peacock?? Don’t know how to spell his name. So wait if he wins who does the chi go to?? He gets it all to himself?

Oh wait nvm it’s probably a cragger thing. Mr. Peacock comes back after retirement or w/ever in order to do some evil shit with the crocs I get it I get it

Gorzan I love you

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY?? Is it a pig? A warthog??? It’s giving Mr. E vibes.

Man idk this episode is structured rlly weirdly. Nothing really fit together very well. It’s alright tho.

Episode 9:

GORILLA EPISODE?? Let’s go dude

It funny cuz I feel like gorillas aren’t actually this mellow irl

STOP FUCKING WITH THE GORILLAS CRAGGER I’LL KILL YOU

Oh hey it’s our mystery mans. Oh nevermind he left again.

There are balloon plants?? Oh yeah those are the things they were using in the other episode. Sorry I wasn’t paying attention to anything else that happened.

Episode 10:

Uhh I forgot to take notes while watching uhhh

The fox guy was cute. I like a little fox guy

This episode managed to make me feel a little bad for cragger!! He wants to do a good job but he kinda sucks at everything :(

It also made me confused abt cruller!!! What are you doing w ur life girl!!!!

Kinda messed up how the wolves had to serve the crocodiles tho… probly for the best she threw away that pledge

If Laval’s dad is right when he says they’re not gonna race for chi for a long time, I’m guessing they’re not gonna do any more racing episodes for some time. That’s fine honestly.

WAIT THAT RHINO GUY’S DYING. Oh nvm. This whole situation is cringe I hope it’s a one-off thing….

Also I forgot everyone thinks craggers parents are dead but really they’re just chilling in that canyon. Kinda funny actually

Episode 11:

Oh man the wolves are fucking everything up

“We all gotta stay here till the walls are fixed” bruh just call the beavers or smthn

Man what is the deal with this shadow wind dude.

If there’s one similarity I could point out with ninjago, it’s all this talk abt ~the balance~. I guess it makes sense since they take place in the same universe, technically

These bears are so cute lol napping does solve everything so true

Episode 12:

Jets travel super fast in the air. If they’re going through a storm Laval should totally be dead by now

Cragger is setting boundaries!! We love to see it. Cruller is acting pretty cringe. In her ~~girlfailure era~~

Is Laval gonna fall in this gorge?? Oh yeah he’s gonna fall in this gorge

Noooo Gorzans underwear is gonna tear

It’s a little sweet how Laval still wants to help out cragger

Episode 13:

I guess I’m still not super into cragger but I pity him a little. He’s trying his best but he’s just a bit stupid. And also his sister sucks ass

Okay. So she may be cringe but cruller is living her best(-ish) life.

That wolf is wearing a really cute apron

Man they were bringing up Shadow wind earlier and I thought they were gonna reveal their identity but now I’m a bit disappointed…

Laval is being peak dumbass rn I kinda like it. “The warm milk of oppression” lol

Episode 14:

“You bears think you’re so clever” bro they are literally asleep I don’t think they give a shit

I think the thing with Cragger is that I absolutely hate him when he’s under the influence of the flower thingy. He’s unlikable in a not-so-fun way, but he seems much more cute/compelling when he’s normal lol.

Oh my god they’re getting back-alley chi lmao

Oh is everyone gonna think Cragger did this on purpose. That’s sad.

This Reagle(?) guy is really silly I like his design a lot

Ohhhhh the wolves are gonna plug the fake chi and become chickens. It’s not a Cragger-might-be-evil thing. Gotchaaaa that’s cute

Seeing Cragger and Leval act like buddies again is genuinely nice they’re friends :)

Episode 15:

Eagles are based communists that live in the sky got it 👍

Cruller stop fucking with the gorillas istg.

Okay what the hell did burning the flower do. Is that like taking an inhalant

The ravens attempted to use the eagles’ based communist values against them. However, they didn’t realize that the eagles are boring as shit, and don’t “own” anything cool in the first place. Based communist eagles for the win.

Okay wait is Eris liking the rhino like. A brand new development or was it hinted at before?? It’s been a hot second since I watched the last couple episodes

Also I recognize that animation from the Ninjago season 5 finale lol

Episode 16:

Man I just hate this stupid skunk

This fog of destiny stuff is really goofy looking from the outside lmao it’s hard to take serious

So it’s like. Making them entirely delusional or something? Some of them are acting the opposite of how they usually do, but others are having like, delusions of grandeur. Idk how it works exactly

Laval there has got to be a smarter way to wake them up. You keep getting thrown into the lake…. Oh my god is the skunk gonna fart again. If that’s literally how they wake them up I’m gonna be so mad.

Oh okay thank god I was wrong.

Oh wait it randomly made cragger evil again. Man come on.

Cruller you stupid dumb idiot lmao get wrecked honestly

I hope the skunk dies like actually for real

Episode 17:

Oh shit Lavals dad also had a best friend that did shitty things and eventually grew apart from?? Damn.

Also Laval in exile time!!! Hopefully this will be cool

Eh. It’s not so cool with the skunk around

OH SHIT is the shadow wind the guy that was exiled before??? Ohhhhh

Ahhh okay Cruller backstory time. Damn girl was getting compared to her sibling straight out the egg. Didn’t even have a moment to spare there huh

Noooo Laval you just enslaved the wolves again by giving him the treaty. That was like the one cool thing cruller manages to do

Oh. I guess the exile thing literally didn’t matter at all lmao kinda underwhelming

Episode 18:

Lol so Cragger is such a dickhead now it’s even causing his stupid ominous dream to take notice

Okay so the floating mountain that gives everyone the chi also makes you on fire when you touch it. Chima world building really is epic man I gotta include random cool shit in my stories once I get around to writing stuff

This definitely feels like part of a finale lol maybe we’ll finally learn what the deal is w shadow wind

Andddddd the chi’s all fucked up now

Episode 19:

Tbh I would also be kinda mad at the lions like. They had no idea what they were doing or if it would have any negative consequences.

Man the whole thing with the wolves just kinda. Fizzled out huh? Like a few episodes ago they had ~all the chi in chima~ and now they’re all like “idk man why don’t we all just get along” lol

I love the attitude of just asking the beavers to fix the mountain. Like let’s just chuck a couple of construction workers at this malfunctioning holy site that’ll probably work

Episode 20:

I’m guessing this is the finale?? Let’s see

Laval looks so weird without his little crown thingy lol hes so square

He’s definitely not dead tho

CROCODILE LETS GOOO!!!!! EPIC!!!

OH UM. Okay well that complicates things. And there’s like a million other questions we still haven’t answered but ok. I guess all of that other stuff can wait until later????

I thought the eagle guy said chima only had 2 moons left before everything fell apart?? So they really gotta get the ball rolling on that one uhm. Oh well.

**EDIT** Last time I posted this I thought it stopped at episode 13 for some reason?? Tubi is stupid; thanks to the person who pointed out the actual episode number. I’ll probably stop here for a while, sorry it took so long to update this lol. My initial thoughts and feelings haven’t really changed all that much, so I’ll keep them as they were:

I definitely feel like it’s a show that doesn’t have super strong characters. I think it would better if the show leaned more into the world it’s created instead, if that makes sense. Maybe later the character writing will improve a little bit, and I’ll changed my tune. But!! Who knows. I’m having fun with it.

Idk when I’ll get to season 2, cuz I get super busy sometimes (I started this one a couple months ago but couldn’t finish it till now ugh) but I do want to continue watching!! Eventually!!!

[princessrainbowpastel]

Did you go out trick-or-treating as a kid? Or were you more likely to stay home, watch scary movies and hand out candy?

Oh heck yeah I trick or treated lol! I believe I stopped trick or treating when I was like 13. It wasn’t even like, my idea to stop. I wanted to trick or treat until I was 18 but uhhh. Something happened 😅

Here’s the story lemme spill the tea lmao (this is long so lemme put it under the cut here):

So I was 13 years old and dressed as Batgirl. I was trick or treating in this nice neighborhood that a girl from my church lived in (yeah, I was a church kid…a southern baptist church kid with all the snooty upper class Christian kids). My cousin who is besties with the said girl (let’s call her Maya) was hanging out with their (or I guess “our” though that’s debatable because my cousin was a popular girl with popular friends, so I never really fit in with them like my cousin did) other friend (who is also a childhood friend of my cousin) and they were all trick or treating together and I went with them, but they kept stopping in the road and talking because they were looking for another friend that lives in the neighborhood too (some boy who also went to church with us) and I just wanted to get some stinkin candy so I was like “hey guys, I’m just gonna head back to Maya’s place”.

My dad and Maya’s parents were all inside watching tv at the house so I went back there and I think I was telling them I was gonna trick or treat alone because the girls basically weren’t trick or treating anymore and were just gossiping and looking for their friend or something? I don’t remember. So yeah I went around the cul-de-sac where Maya’s house was (because we didn’t start trick or treating there for some reason? Like we started down the road from her house?) and I ended up at this one house.

From what I could see from their porch when they opened the door, there were a bunch of adults wearing cheap zombie make up (their faces were painted green pretty much) and they had football jerseys on while they watched a football game on their sofa. So, I can’t remember if it was a woman or a man that opened the door, I wanna say it was a woman? And so yknow…I was like “trick or treat” because…candy lmaooo, and the lady was like “hold on let me see if I have something” so she walks away for a sec and I see the whole setting of the house with the adults on the couch and she’s like “sorry we don’t have any candy”….their porch light was on…and it was Halloween…like did they not expect to get trick or treaters in this nice ass neighborhood?? Like there were a lot of kids walking around trick or treating so like…did they say that to all the kids that came to their door or what? Like??? Very weird, but yeah, the MAIN REASON why I stopped trick or treating at 13 was because as I walked away from their porch and the lady closed the door I heard a man say “You’re a little too old to be trick or treating anyways”. That hurt me and that comment stuck with me for all these years. Not only was I trick or treating by myself low key feeling like a loser because I didn’t have any friends to trick or treat with, someone made me feel worse by saying I was too old to trick or treat, making me feel even more ridiculous and stupid. Like never have I felt so ashamed to be myself. Just because I was a 13 year old trick or treating. It’s just…ugh like it’s no surprise now that I have depression and anxiety/social anxiety. People like that exist.

Of course, I went straight back to Maya’s house and told my dad and Maya’s parents and I remember that they didn’t really react. They were just kinda like “oh well, that sucks for you I guess” (PS I hate my biological father and we haven’t talked in like…4 years so…yeah there’s that). So yeah, from then on I never trick or treated again because I didn’t want to be shamed, or humiliated, or ridiculed by strangers. Now, when I was 16 I did go trick or treating with some friends in highschool (we dressed up as Halloween M&Ms , purple, orange, and green. I was the green lol and my mom made all our costumes from foam board, duct tape, and spray paint lol). But other than that, I never went trick or treating again. I’ve been handing out candy to kids and watching Halloween movies since then. I still see kids 13 and older trick or treating at my house and honestly it’s nice y’know? Nobody’s crushed their dreams or ridiculed them for being kids/pre-tees/teens.

So yeah, long story short, don’t be a dick to innocent kids. If a 13+ year old kid comes to your door dressed in a costume trick or treating, give them some dang candy and tell them their costume looks rad. Don’t shame them. Don’t tell them they’re “too old” to trick or treat. Not that I think anyone here would, but like, fr little things like that can really stick to kids and hurt their self esteem. Since when was there even an age limit on trick or treating anyways? It’s free candy. Like who wouldn’t want that lmao?

[imaginemcyt]

sisterinnit!

cc!wilbur soot x tommy’s older sister

tw: language

note: this one uses specifically she/her pronouns, however, you can replace them with your pronouns. it won’t change the story at all. sorry that this is kinda shit but tumblr deleted my draft and i had to completely rewrite it so this is what i’ve got. hope you enjoy! <3

“y/n this is wilbur, wilbur this is y/n.” tommy gave the basic introductions with a bored look on his face.

“y/n simons, pleasure to meet you.”

“wilbur soot, the pleasure is all mine.”

as he shook your hand, you stared into each other’s eyes. he wore a small smile, that was almost a smirk. was it just you, or was there electricity when your hands touched? that had to be in your head, right? your gaze lingered on the other for perhaps a little too long before you let go of each other’s hands.

“now get out, y/n.” tommy pushed you towards the door.

•••

“y/n can you see wilbur out? i’m busy!”

wilbur looked at you with a smile, causing you to blush. you nodded and yelled back at your brother, “yeah!”

you led wilbur to the front door, opening it and stepping to the side. you looked at him to find he was already looking at you. he grabbed your hand and placed a kiss on your knuckles.

“it was nice meeting you, y/n.”

as you stuttered out a reply, he gave you that same almost-smirk and turned away, walking down your driveway.

•••

“what are you doing up?”

you jumped, not expecting to see someone in your kitchen at two am. then you remembered tommy had invited friends over.

“oh, it’s you. i… i can’t sleep. what are you still doing awake?”

you filled a glass up with water and began to drink it, putting it in the sink when you were done.

“tommy snores really loud.”

you both let out a light laugh at your younger brother’s expense.

“well, since we’re both awake, do you want to do something? we could watch friends? that’s all i was doing anyway.”

“that sounds great.”

you both made your way up the stairs and into your room. you sat on the bed and set up the laptop with the episode you were currently on. eventually you were laying down together watching joey do lunges in all of chandler’s clothes.

(like this ^^^)

you were about halfway through a second episode when tommy interrupted.

“what the hell are you guys doing?”

you both looked up at the tired gremlin child.

“watching friends.” wilbur gave him a cheeky smile.

•••

“hello?”

“oh! uh, hello…?”

“oh it’s you, wilbur!” you spoke over your brother’s headset while he was in the bathroom.

“y/n? hi! what are you doing?”

“well tommy’s in the toilet so i wanted to see who he was talking to. turns out it’s you!”

wilbur let out a chuckle. “it’s me!”

“GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM!”

“uh oh, gotta go!” you threw down the headset before running for your life.

•••

“y/n, hang out with us!”

you stopped at the doorway, looking back at the group of boys all sitting on the floor. jack manifold, tubbo, and wilbur all stared up at you.

“no, y/n, get out of my room.” tommy spoke from his spot on the bed.

“aww, why can’t she stay?”

“yeah, tommy, don’t be a dick, man.”

“y/n, stay!”

“no, y/n, leave.”

you looked nervous, being pulled in two different directions, before ultimately deciding that you had other things to do.

“sorry guys, i should probably go.”

a chorus of disappointed groans and “aww”s left the group before you waved and closed the door behind you.

you went back to your room, deciding to give your brother his space despite your loneliness and boredom. you knew you’d want the same from him.

you decided to mess around with your ukulele to pass the time. you played your favorite song, singing along quietly. it wasn’t long before a knock on the door made you stop.

“come in.”

the door opened and none other than wilbur soot popped his head in.

“hey.”

“hey. tommy asked me to tell you to shut up, but i think you sound lovely.”

you turned slightly pink. “oh, uh, thanks. tell tommy i’m sorry and i’ll keep it down.”

“no need, he’s a prick anyway.” he made his way to where you sat on the bed, taking a seat next to you.

“what are you playing?”

you smiled and told him about how it was your favorite song by your favorite artist and you loved how fun it was. he requested you play a little bit for him, so you did. when you were done, you started to talk about it a little more.

at least until you realized he wasn’t listening. he was staring at your lips, leaning in. you followed suit.

the door burst open, causing you two to spring apart.

“wilbur, what the hell is taking so long? and what are you two doing in here with the door closed?”

wilbur smiled at tommy. “playing music, of course.”

tommy gave a skeptical look, dragging wilbur out of the room with a “keep it down, y/n!”

wilbur stopped at the doorway. “by the way, i quite like hanging out with you, y/n.”

•••

“your hands are so tiny!”

“they are not,” you gasped. “your hands are just huge, probably because you’re a giant of a man.”

wilbur laughed. “put your hand up,” he instructed. he touched his to yours gently, showing off the size difference.

you both giggled before stopping and looking into each other’s eyes. he gave you a gentle smile and slipped his fingers in between yours, interlocking them and holding your hand in his larger one.

you looked back at him and smiled.

•••

you knocked on the door three times, and he answered not long after.

“y/n? what are you doing here?”

“tommy thinks he left his sweater here and asked if i could drop by and pick it up on my way home.”

“oh yeah, one second.”

he disappeared for a moment before returning, holding your brother’s red hoodie. “here you go,” he said with a smile.

“thank you. sorry to bother you.”

“it’s no trouble. can i walk you home?”

you felt yourself heating up and smiled. “if you’d like.”

he nodded and grabbed his jacket. then you both started off toward the simons residence. you almost made it before it started raining.

it was light rain at first, so you carried on. however, it got heavier by the second, and pretty soon it was pouring on you two.

wilbur took off his jacket and held it above your heads. “we’re almost there, run!”

the two of you ran the rest of the way, only stopping once you got to your porch. you looked at each other for a moment, catching your breath. then you started laughing. you were both soaked and standing there like idiots, laughing at yourselves.

your laughter soon died down, and then you were just smiling at each other. he reached over to you and brushed a wet piece of hair behind your ear, getting it out of your face.

you weren’t stupid. you knew the look he was giving you was a lovestruck gaze, but you decided to play dumb.

“what?”

then finally it happened. after months of flirting and mutual pining, he closed the gap and kissed you. with his right hand on your face he crashed his lips to yours (a/n: that sounds violent but it’s not meant to be lol), pulling you closer with his left. you wrapped your arms around him, hands tangling in his hair.

passion mingled with desperation and you kissed long after you were breathless. you didn’t part until you heard a loud yell of disgust.

you instantly sprang apart with swollen lips and red faces.

“are you fucking kidding me? that’s my sister, man!” tommy yelled, glaring at wilbur.

he then looked to you. “and you, kissing my best mate?!”

you stood there shocked for a moment before coming to your senses.

“uhhh, I wasn’t kissing, were you kissing?” you said, turning to wilbur and praying to god he caught on to your obvious lie.

“no, i wasn’t kissing.” he shook his head.

“neither was i! see, no kissing here.”

“i’m not stupid,” said tommy, voice low and angry as opposed to the shock and disgust from before. “i saw everything.”

he then turned and walked away from the door, leaving you two alone again.

a moment of awkward silence passed. “i should probably… you know.” you said, pointing to the house.

“oh yeah, no, definitely.” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“and look, i’m sorry if i ruined your friendship with tommy. i know you guys are close, and i hope he forgives you.”

he gave you a sad smile. “same here, love.” he then kissed your cheek and took off into the rain once more.

you went inside and tried fixing things with tommy, who refused to speak to you. after sitting outside his bedroom door for nearly an hour, you finally gave up and headed back into your room. you opened discord.

[your username]: tommy’s ignoring me. i’ve just sat outside his room for an hour and he refuses to talk to me.

WilburSoot: i’ll give it a go.

he did not speak to wilbur. tommy left him on read every time.

•••

tommy avoided you entirely for two weeks. he left the room if you walked in, and he wouldn’t speak to you at the dinner table. your mother was curious what was going on between you two, but neither of you would say anything about it.

finally, you’d had enough.

you asked your mother to call tommy out of his room, since he wouldn’t answer if you were to try. she did, just wanting you two to speak again. once he arrived in the living room, you jumped him. you grabbed him around the middle and threw him on the couch, planting yourself on top of him so he couldn’t run away. your mum left the room.

“hey, you asshole, get off of me!”

“no, tommy! enough is enough! you’re not leaving until you hear me out!”

“no, i don’t want to talk to you!”

“too bad because i’m not moving until you hear what i have to say! i don’t want us to keep avoiding each other like this.”

he went silent and thought about it for a moment, an angry and skeptical look on his face. “…fine. get it over with.”

you took a deep breath.

“tommy, you’re my little brother, and i love you. i’ll always love you, even when you hate me. just know that i never meant to hurt you or make you angry. however… you can’t tell me how to live my life, or who i can be with. i want to be with wilbur. i can’t help it, tommy, i love him. you can be happy for me or not, that’s your choice. but what isn’t your choice, is who i love.”

by the end of your speech, your voice was shaking and your eyes were watery. you got off of tommy and helped him sit up.

his face softened. “you… you love him?”

your tears ran down your cheeks. you nodded. “i do.”

tommy sighed before pulling you into a hug. it was rare for him to show affection, especially to you, but after everything that happened between the two of you, he felt it was important.

“i love you, y/n. you’re my sister, i could never hate you. i’m happy for you. but just know, best mate or not, i’ll castrate him if he makes you sad.”

you laughed, wiping away your tears.

“i should… probably speak with wilbur, yeah?”

you nodded. tommy stood and went back to his room. you followed not long after, and even though you knew it was frowned upon, you stopped to listen at his door.

“tommy, thank god you’re speaking to me. listen, man, i–”

“do you love her, wilbur?”

“what?”

“my sister. do you love her?”

“i– yeah. yeah, i do.”

“good. listen, all i want is for y/n to be happy. meaning if you make her cry, i’ll murder you.”

wilbur chuckled on the other line, making you smile.

“you won’t have to worry about that. i promise you i’ll take care of her.”

“just don’t make my sister cry and don’t be gross in front of me, alright big man?”

“you’ve got yourself a deal, tommyinnit.”

you smiled again before heading off in the direction of your room.

[dykenastasyafilippovna]

rank marlowes

movie marlowe and tv ranking out NOW (ive only listeend to a One radio marlowe so i dont feel im educated enough to rank those)

dick powell marlowe of murder my sweet fame. i dont know what it is about his acting but he is just so right for this. he has the pathetic vibe bogart wishes he had.

elliot gould marlowe of the long goodbye fame. my buddy phil is a guy that needs curly hair and a cat and to be friends with lesbian hippies and walk around sadly havign a girl moment with every step.

robert mitchum marlowe of farewell my lovely and the big sleep fame. well he was old as fuck but there is something so Friendly about him he is a friend :-)

humphrey bogart marlowe of the big sleep fame. he was WAY more sure of himself than he should have been. this man needs to be a little MORE confused and a little LESS having a happy ending. but he is still My Friend. and hes short. thats important.

powers boothe marlowe of philip marlowe private eye hbo tv show fame. i really need to finish the season of this thats on amazon i like it a lot. hes kinda bogart marlowe eque but really has the vibes right so its Ok.

james garner marlowe of marlowe 1969 film fame. hes Very silly i will say that. hes sillycoded

robert montgomery marlowe of the lady in the lake fame. ive only seen this film twice because its just so weird. i should probably rewatch because i wanna see my friend mildred whos in it for like two scenes but whatever. back on topic. most of the movie it does not even feel like hes playing the right character. when hes crawling around like a stepped on catarpillar tho thats pretty in character.

the guy from the 2007 tv pilot that like neevr aired but its on youtube. i didnt like that was set in 2007 because taking away the setting is a difficult thing to do for his character i think like the long goodbye and marlowe 1969 did it right but it didnt seem right for this one. anyway the actor was pretty okay. it would have been nice to see more than a pilot so its hard to say

philip carey marlowe from the abc series. uhhh im gonna be honest i only watched two episodes of this and was more interested in the plot and other characters than this actor he was verry bland lol. sad

james caan marlowe of poodle springs fame. god. this movie sucked soooo bad. hes a good actor but he was too old and unlike robert mitchum he did NOT make it work at ALL. he had some good moments but the quality of the entire production was so low i dont think the best actor in the world could have saved this.

george montgomery marlowe of the brasher doubloon fame. oh my goddd this man ruined what could have been a good movie he was zero percent my buddy phil and 100% CREEP. HATE THIS GUY AND HIS MOUSTACHE!!!

[werenotadulting]

Routine Procedure - Finale

Author's note - Hope you enjoyed!

Part 7 - Kate

If you'd asked her, Kate wouldn't have been able to tell what exactly had gotten her interested in it.

Maybe it was the idea of the power dynamic. She had always been one of those girls labeled as 'bossy' growing up, which was a misogynistic way of saying that she wasn't afraid to speak up and speak her mind.

Or maybe it was the subversion of expectations of a traditional relationship that did it for her. The idea that she was the one in control, the one making all the decisions.

Maybe it was the fact that it was so taboo and kinky that appealed to her. It didnt really matter, whatever the reason.

Kate was into being a Mommy Domme, and Kate found nothing hotter than having a diapered little bitch boy to call her own.

The ultimate fantasy was teaching the boy to love and trust his diapers. Make him associate orgasming with wet diapers and diaper changes. Create a leaking "accident" in public so he learns that while thicker diapers might increase the risk of being noticed, they save you from the embarrassment of wet pants.

Of course, she had considered bringing up her desires to Mike, but based off of past experiences, she didn't want to chance it. Mike was just too perfect of a guy to risk blowing it like that.

She had always been the dominant one in bed, with Mike eagerly submitting to her every whim, so she knew they were sexually compatible. It had never gone past light bondage though, and Kate was starting to get an itch that handcuffs and blindfolds just wouldn't scratch.

────────

It had come up entirely by chance, one day while she was scrolling through an obscure ABDL forum.

The post read: "Biomedical engineer here, and I think I've figured out a way to induce instant, semi-permanent incontinence."

The post was over 3 days old, and only had two comments on it. The first was from a mod, basically saying to take everyone's posts with a grain of salt. The second was from the OP, about 24 hours after the original post.

"I know it sounds like a fantasy, but I'm pretty confident it will work. I've had a career in medical devices for the last 8 years, specializing in the urology space. I don't want to get too deep into the details on here, so just PM me of you're interested."

Kate rolled her eyes.

Everyone in this community is so hooked on the 'I want to be instantly incontinent' thing, and all it ever ends up being is some silly fap content, she thought to herself.

"You know what, let's feed the troll and see what bites," she muttered.

Liv2DomU: ok spill, what's your magical method?

PrinceOfPadding: this for you, or someone else?

Liv: hypothetically, let's say it's for a boyfriend

Prince: Ahh okay. Very interesting. Well, like I said, I've worked in med device for awhile, and I've recently started my own company. I primarily work in the urology space, catheters, scopes, that kind of stuff.

Liv: hmm hate to break it to u bud, but catheters kinda already exist

Prince: oh sure, catheters exist, but my idea is to bridge the catheter world with the stent world

Liv: sounds idk...sketchy? illegal?

As she read more, Kate was beginning to think that this guy might not be as full of crap as she had initially thought. He had his own start-up, which had already launched a Foley catheter to the market. It was all above-board and legit.

Prince: so, for the aspiring incontinent-person-to-be, the ring is positioned with a catheter, and stays in place once the Foley is removed. Then overtime, probably a month at minimum, depending on the chemical makeup and customer desire, the ring breaks down and is naturally absorbed into the body. And they all sign a consent form saying they accept the risks of such a procedure.

Liv: so then once it's dissolved they are back to being being able to control their bladder?

Prince: that's the theory, yes

Liv: theory?

Prince: well, dissolvable stent technology present state takes like 18 months to break down, and the manufacturing of it is patented and kept under lock and key

Liv: so basically all you have to offer is a catheter lol

Prince: well no. I've got some good leads on dissolvable compounds, but I've got to do trials of the rings first to see if it would even work. I've promised free diapers for the first few months if people sign up, but it's been hard to get subjects

Liv: so these trial rings wouldn't dissolve?

Prince: nope

Liv: meaning my hypothetical boyfriend would be....?

Prince: permanently diaper dependent, yeah

────────

In the end Kate was curious enough that she was willing to hear the guy out.

He'd asked for a mailing address and her phone number. The first was to send proof that his company was real, and the second was just to keep in contact should she decide to proceed.

It all made sense, at least in theory. Foley catheters were safe, provided they were inserted by a trained healthcare professional. A normal person would get a normal catheter just like everyone else. But an ABDL would be signing up for what was essentially an intentionally faulty catheter.

Assuming they knew they were willingly signing up for it.

When asked about 'accidental' ring implants, Prince had basically said, hey, people really need to learn to read the fine print.

────────

I walked out to the mailbox. I've been expecting test results back from the scan I'd had a few weeks back. Opening up the box, I noticed a large envelope with my hospital's address on the front.

About time, I thought, grabbing the envelope and the rest of the mail.

I walked back into the house, where Kate was making herself a cup of tea.

"Anything good in the mail?" she asked, taking a sip from her mug.

I listed them aloud as I started to flip though the mail, "Looks like some junk mail, an internet bill, a brochure for some UroVention medical thing, and last but not least, my test results."

I dropped the rest of the mail on the counter and started to open up my scan results. As I was reading, Kate walked over and began sorting through the other mail.

"Oh good, they said it's benign, but they're still worried about the location. They're recommending removal, just to be on the safe side."

"Removal for something benign? That sounds odd, but whatever," Kate said, tucking something into her back pocket.

"I'm not too worried. It sounds like it should be a pretty routine procedure."

────────

Part 8 - Mike

I sat down on the couch, my diaper squishing underneath me. Kate had taken to putting two stuffers in my diaper, even though these Tykables could already hold a lot. The warm, comforting feeling of my wet diaper started to turn me on, just like it did every time I realized how wet I was or if I was about to get a change. Not that I could do anything about it, though.

I flipped open the laptop and signed in. It would probably be a good hour before Kate got back from the store. Apparently I was being downgraded from sippy cups to bottles.

Once logged in, I noticed that the screen was still up to the site where Kate had last been. It was another diaper order, this time a case of Megamaxes. I felt my cheeks start to heat up, seeing that Kate had chosen the pink color for the whole case.

I opened up a private window, and navigated to KinkLink. My profile on here was pretty bare. It always had been, just containing my age, gender, and some basic interests. I hadn't even bothered to post a picture when I set it up. I preferred to look at other people's profiles rather than post things of my own.

I was always intrigued by people's locations and how close they were to where I lived. One such person who I came back to check the posts of daily was a mommy domme, who it happened lived in my town. Her first posts, from nearly three years ago, were what had first caught my attention.

'Every night I dream about finding my perfect diaper slut. He will wake up to me rubbing his thick, soggy padding, the little bedwetter that I turned him into.'

'Picture this: You, in a wet diaper and nothing else. Me, in my black lingerie with a strap on. Do I have any volunteers?'

'Have no doubt, if you date me, it's diapers forever. There's no "only at home" or "but my parents are coming over". Maybe I'll just find a way to make you incontinent. Then you won't have an excuse.'

And then there were the pictures. She never would show her face, but she didn't need to.. She wasn't lying about the black lingerie. It left very little to the imagination. Then the next picture, where the bra came off, and she was just in her lacy panties, her pierced nipples and tattoos on display. Maybe it was the octopus tattoo on her arm, my favorite animal, that made her stick out to me.

But there was one post that I always came back to and was entranced by. It was a picture of her holding an ABU Kiddo, right below her breasts. She wasn't wearing any clothing.

'Aww baby, did you wet the bed? I think we should probably put you in some protection.'

────────

I stood in line at the coffee shop. It wasn't too busy for a Tuesday at 9 a.m., only two people were ahead of me. As the first person in line got her coffee and the second lady stepped up to place her order, I checked my phone. Still a half hour before I needed to be at work, I had some time to sit and enjoy my drink. I got my usual and went off to a booth in the corner.

"Excuse me, but do you happen to know what the Wi-Fi password is here?"

I looked up to see the woman who had been in front of me in line.

"Oh um, yeah it's....oh I think they just changed it. Try 'PINTO'. They always pick some sort of bean, I think they find it amusing, but it's never a coffee bean..." I trailed off.

She smiled, "Oh thank you so much, yeah I'll try that."

My mouth fell open is shock.

"I uhhh...I like your tattoo," I said. "They're my, um, favorite animal."

"Oh mine too! Isn't the octopus, like, the coolest animal?"

"D-definitely. Hey, would you like to sit with me? I'm just hanging out while I wait for work. My name is Mike by the way."

"That sounds really nice. Thank you, Mike. I'm Kate."

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[thevioletjones]

Congrats on the kudos, u deserve it! I did not undestand if I'm supposed to choose one of the lines for the prompt or if I have to combine two or more lines lol. But if it is to choose only one: number 5. If more than one: 5 and 45. *---*

Thank you! I used both. Great inspiration, actually. It spun out of control! 😀

Prompt 2: “How much of that did you hear?” + “Why are you helping me?”

Interloper

“Jesus, Iggy, I’m gonna fuckin’ murder you myself one of these days,” Mickey threatened in exasperation.

They were both leaning over, hands on knees, gasping for air, just having run full-speed for at least twelve blocks. The pillars beneath the L tracks were now providing the mild seclusion they needed to wait out a cursory police search of the area.

“Ain’t my fault!” Iggy exclaimed defensively.

Mickey’s face scrunched up to a degree that only his dumbest family members could make it reach. “Yes it fuckin’ was! Who else’s fault would it be?”

He’d always kind of wondered how he was the only one in his crap-ass family to be gifted with at least half a brain. Well, him and his younger sister, Mandy. She was alright. Skanky and crazy, but not a total idiot. He couldn’t say the same for his brothers, male cousins, father, uncle, etcetera. Mickey couldn’t even get his begrudgingly favorite brother to follow a simple goddamn plan that would’ve kept them out of trouble when they were out committing crimes. He was just gonna have to start doing everything himself. Safety in numbers didn’t apply when the other member of your team seemed to have been lobotomized when no one was paying attention. It was probably all the meth. Mickey was smart enough to stay away from that particular bullshit. Didn’t want to become a scabby, denture-wearing, toothpick skinny, low-life with no mind left to lose. He was content to stick to coke and weed like a normal person.

“That old bitch came outta nowhere! Self-defense!”

“It ain’t self-defense if you’re robbin’ the joint, numbnuts! We’re lucky you fuckin’ missed!”

If he had it his way, Mickey wouldn’t be doing these petty robberies anymore. He much preferred bigger jobs, like gun and drug running. But times were tough, and he had to do what he had to do. He’d even considered getting a legit job for once in his life, but the skills he possessed weren’t exactly easily adaptable to the straight and narrow path. Being a criminal was how he was raised, and all he knew. It brought heat, but it was still a comfortable fit. Living without the constant presence of major risk would probably feel so foreign as to drive him crazier than a meth addiction in the long run.

The job Mickey’d lined up involved hitting up a few different borderline upmarket stores that’d opened up in their neck of the woods since the gentrifiers had set upon The Yards, then selling the goods to a guy he knew in the online black market trade. Not as lucrative as heavy metal and funny powder, but a decent payday nonetheless. Except fuckface over here who had to ruin everything by getting trigger-happy on Main while they were attempting to heist merchandise from location number two of three. If the pigs nabbed either one of them, they’d be going down for at least five to ten. Years. Mickey was done donating years to the prison industrial complex. The most he could afford was months at best.

“When’d you turn into such a giant asshole?” asked Iggy. “Oh, nevermind, probly when you started gettin’ it railed on the reg.”

A giant smile stretched across his perpetually dirty face, causing Mickey’s eyebrows to lift dangerously high on his forehead. Occasionally, his dumber-than-rocks older brother managed to think up some admittedly clever asides. Mickey didn’t know whether to punch him or give him daps.

Before he could decide, however, he heard a distinct little snicker from the other side of the large concrete column they were leaning on, raising his hackles to invisibly join his eyebrows in their heightened incredulity.

Mickey hastily rounded the pillar and grabbed the giggler by the shirt collar, hauling him to their side and pinning him next to Iggy with his forearm. He looked into the guy’s eyes, and finally registered who it was. He kinda sorta knew him from around town. Used to hang out with his sister back in high school. He was a lot scrawnier then. This version of the dude could probably hold his own with Mickey in a fight. He’d built some definite muscle.

“How much of that did you hear, asshole?” Mickey demanded, seeing Iggy flash the gun in his waistband in his periphery.

This idiot didn’t look as rattled as he should be, though. He just shrugged his shoulders.

“Considering I was here first, I guess… all of it?”

He was wearing an annoying little smirk, his green-blue eyes shining bright, and his red hair distracting Mickey as much as the light dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks. He had a stupidly ultra-defined chin, and Mickey immediately hated it. His chin hadn’t looked like that when he was a 15-year-old pipsqueak.

“Wipe that smile off your face, bitch,” ordered Mickey, pressing his arm harder against the guy’s pale throat. “You think this is fuckin’ funny? You know who we are?”

The guy shrugged again, like this was all a casual conversation on the corner. “Mickey.” He glanced at his dumb, blonde, curlicue brother. “And Iggy, right? I used to hang out with Mandy all the time. Have a good memory.”

“Yeah? Well I remember your goofy ass too, Gallagher. I know where you live and I know who your family is, so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your big mouth shut or I’ll pick ‘em off one by one and save you for last. Got it?”

The dude snorted, and Mickey wondered if he was some kind of crazy tweaker with no sense of propriety or self-preservation.

“You outta your goddamn mind or somethin’?” Mickey added. “I ain’t jokin’.”

“Look, Gallaghers don’t snitch, alright?” He held his hands up placatingly. “I promise not to say shit to anyone. It’s none of my business, and I really don’t care. That good enough for you?”

Mickey loosened his hold, but sized him up all the while. “Maybe. But it’s possible you need a little lesson to remember it good. Wouldn't want you to forget about the consequences of you breakin’ your word.”

The dude winced and shoved Mickey off. “I don’t need a fucking beatdown, Mickey. I get it.”

“Ohhhh,” Mickey singsonged derisively, meeting Iggy’s gaze. “He gets it.” He thumbed his eyebrow. “Guess I’m just s’posed to believe you, huh?”

“That would be ideal, yeah.”

Mickey had to give it to him; he almost cracked a smile. The kid had balls. Most people around their neighborhood cowered before a Milkovich like spring lambs. Still, he lived by a code, and letting some rando walk away unscathed when he had dirt on him just didn’t fit the rules.

He cocked his fist back to knock it into tall, pale, and red’s pearly white teeth, just as the stunted siren of a cop car rang out very close by. Their collective heads all snapped toward the sound, and after sharing a meaningful look between brothers, Iggy took off running once again, without a word.

Normally, Mickey would’ve followed hot on his heels, but some unknown force was keeping his useless feet stuck to the dirty ground, eyes watching as Gingerballs glanced around the column at the flashing lights, taking a very long look that wasn’t suspicious at all.

Before he could react outwardly, Mickey was pulled against a hard body, Gallagher’s warm breath sending a shiver down his spine as he whispered, “Be cool. I got you.”

Suddenly, big hands were caressing Mickey’s back, and despite a part of him not minding in the least, the rest of him stiffened considerably.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he rasped out, hearing the telltale slam of a car door, and attempting to pull away. But a strong grip held him close, spinning him around so that he was the one up against the concrete now.

“Saving your thug ass. I know this guy, okay? Just chill and follow my lead.”

Okay, what the hell was this surreal turn of events? Gallagher was bold as shit, cradling Mickey all gay like. Sure, Iggy had made a fag joke earlier, kicking off this whole… whatever it was, but still. This guy had no way of knowing it was based in reality. Did he?

And had Gallagher really been gay this whole time? How had Mickey never sniffed this scorching information out?

“What’s going on here, boys?”

The copper rounded the corner, genuinely swinging his nightstick like a cartoon character, and Mickey had to suppress a deep roll of his eyes.

“Milkovich?” Mr. CPD continued, extreme disbelief coloring his voice.

Mickey was abruptly reminded that he was currently stuck between a rock and a hard body, and nothing about their entanglement screamed anything other than gay, gay, super-fucking-gay. Not that Mickey hadn’t come to accept who he was and what he liked, but he didn’t go around spreading the truth all over town either. This could seriously damage his carefully crafted reputation.

“Tony!” Ian interjected, sparing him from having to invent some lame excuse, and the cop’s eyes snapped to him instead.

“Ian?” His tone was still dripping with astonishment.

“Yeah! What's up? How you been?”

Mickey shot him an ‘are you goddamn serious right now?’ look, and Ian just squeezed his hip in tacit reply.

“Uhhh… gooood? Care to explain whatever…” he waved his stick between them, “this is?”

Ian laughed and he figured the dude truly was a nutcase. Mickey was going to jail for sure.

“Um, well,” answered Ian, suddenly playing it very meek and demure, “Mickey and I were just… you know…”

“You and… Mickey?”

“Not fucking or anything! Just... hanging out?”

“Hanging out.”

“Yeah, you know how it is. I’m tryin’ to convince Mick here to come home with me, but he’s being squirrelly.” He shook his head and shrugged. “South Side guys.”

“What the fuck?” Mickey whispered harshly, completely taken aback.

Ian just squeezed him tightly again, which was not helping his whole brain scramble situation.

“Huh,” said Tony, a tone of acceptance seeping in. “Mickey Milkovich, eh? Wow.”

“Come on, Tony. I don’t have to tell you this is all a big secret, do I?” replied Ian.

“And blondie who ran away like there was a damn fire? Did he flee a threesome?”

Mickey frowned and fake-wretched, finally speaking up. “Fuck no, man. That was my dumbass brother. He don’t like cops.”

“Uh huh. And you and your brother didn’t happen to be getting into trouble about 15 minutes ago, did you?”

“No sir,” Mickey said with a mock salute.

Ian kicked at his foot in warning.

“He’s been with me since like 3 o’clock, Tone. Scout’s honor.”

Officer Tony eyed them both with a look of skepticism, but didn’t contradict Ian’s word. The CB sounded from the open window of the black and white, with some cop-speak crackling over the airwaves.

“Stay put,” said Tony, eyes lingering longer on Mickey’s than Ian’s. “Both of you.”

He retreated to answer the radio call, and Mickey let out a deep whoosh of air.

“Goddamn, Gallagher. You’re spinnin’ quite a yarn here.”

“Yep,” Ian agreed. “A big gay yarn.”

“How the fuck did you know—”

“That you’re gay? Well, I heard Iggy make that joke, obviously. Pretty specific bottom joke to make if you weren’t actually into it. Plus, I always had my suspicions.”

Mickey scoffed. “Yeah fuckin’ right!”

“I did!”

“Whatever. Why are you helping me?”

“Out of the kindness of my heart?”

“Try again.”

“I don’t know. Why not? Makes us even or something. Now you know I won’t rat you out. About any of it. I wouldn’t out someone like that, and I don’t give a shit about the illegal crap you’re wrapped up in. Tony Markovich is like turbo gay too. Used to bang my sister, I think, but he came out a couple years ago. He won’t let it slip about you. He’s not a total bastard just cuz he’s a cop, ya know?”

Mickey bit his lip in contemplation. Gallagher seemed pretty genuine. Still didn’t much make sense in his brain, but whatever.

“Fine. But you know what’s gonna happen if—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, kick my ass, kill my family, got it.”

“You’re a cocky little shit, ain’t you?”

Ian smirked again, and it was pretty sexy, actually. “Maybe.”

He had the gall to push against Mickey more fully, pressing the bottom halves of their bodies closer together.

Mickey gasped. “Gonna have to ask you again… what the hell do you think you’re doin’?”

“You wanna go out sometime?”

Mickey cackled in his face. “You’re off your fuckin’ rocker for sure.”

“Am not! I can tell you want me.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Cocky little shit doesn’t even begin to cover it, does it?”

“Come onnnn,” Ian prodded.

“Do I look like I date, Gallagher?”

“A date can be whatever we want it to be, Milkovich. I’m easy.”

“Yeah, I bet you are.”

“Okay,” Tony interrupted, coming back into view. “Get the hell outta here. You wanna bang, do it indoors somewhere, or I’ll have to arrest you for public indecency or worse. And Milkovich… if I find any evidence of what I’m sure you know I’m talking about, I’ll be paying your ass a visit real soon.”

Mickey let the eyeroll loose then, withholding a flip of his middle finger, and deadpanning instead, “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, officer.”

Tony sighed loudly. “Whatever.”

“Thanks, Tony!” Ian cried at his retreating back.

“You always kiss cop ass like that? Cuz that’s not the way to get into my pants, Red.”

Ian just grinned, finally pulling his body away as he looked around. “You gonna follow me home or what?”

Mickey wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and swagger away like a badass. But was he not a thirsty man being propositioned by a hot guy who just randomly saved his ass from a trip to the slammer?

He at least feigned protest, huffing and puffing as he kicked at the dirt. “Goddamn it, Gallagher, you drive a hard bargain.”

Ian’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, as Mickey added, “Lead the way, weirdo.”

[twixtandshout]

Tagged by @pidgeonpostal! And not tagging anyone else because I have SOILED the original template (soiled it!!) in deference to my [brushes off skirt] mostly clean public-facing appearance.

...I’ve been making a lot of Spongebob memes lately for someone who has not seen Spongebob.

How many works do you have on AO3?

71!

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

...306,834. Jesus.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Uh. Many! I do a lot of one-offs (and/or start long things I never finish) in many different places. My top three fandoms by fics written are RWBY (29), Undertale (25), Gravity Falls/Transcendence AU (4).

Bet you can’t tell where my hyperfixations have fallen. 

I’ve also got some Pokémon and Sonic the Hedgehog fics back on my ff.net account, or I think I still do, anyway, but let’s never go back there pls

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Sweeter Than Honey (Undertale): Taking a Completely unsurprising first place, with over 600 more kudos than the runner-up, the haphazard Underswap fic featuring a post-college self-insert I wrote just after high school! I shake my head some at how overblown and ridiculous the gap between this and all my other stuff is (c’mon, guys, I’ve written way better fics), but this is also the fic which prompted me (and at least one other person!) to start using they/them pronouns. I’ve gotten a lot of really sweet comments about how seen and appreciated it’s made people feel, so I can’t get down too far about it.

2. To Be A Hero (BNHA): I don’t count myself as part of the BNHA fandom, for a number of reasons, but for something that’s arguably the main motivation for the entire plot, Midoriya’s quirklessness is something I’ve never thought has been handled well. This fic marked the first time I (somewhat tentatively) claimed the disability label (thanks again to Sweeter Than for prompting that realization) to hold that lens over canon. It also really shot up my chart, dang! It’s the only thing here I’d consider “recent.”

3. Three-Sentence Shipping (Undertale): Self-explanatory.

4. Brothers Beyond Bonedaries (Undertale): Ah, the way-overcomplicated AU³ I got nowhere close to finishing. One of the things I really like about Undertale is the interface screw, how Toby Fox uses the medium of the video game to pull off crazy things and enhance his game, but most of the fic written for the fandom seems dedicated to explaining it away, grounding it, rather than taking it to the next step and messing with the medium of fanfiction when you keep the story going. I tried to do something cool like that here, playing with questions like narrator and authorship and breaking the fourth wall, even taking the “final boss” fight to a “totally separate” fic reached through the first by link – but, well, then I never finished it, which probably didn’t make anything less confusing for the poor folks who missed the intent.

5. Spirit and Such (Gravity Falls: Transcendence AU): A whole fic written to line out a particular image I had, which, naturally, never made it to the page. I consider it a bit of a cautionary tale for myself when it comes to writing (near-)original content; there’s a lot I look back on and cringe. I still love the characters, though – well, the important ones – and I think just stepping away from the tried-and-true Mizar formula nets it a star sticker here.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

>w>; I try, but a lot of the time I just don’t have anything to say? Like, oh, you liked it? Neat. There’s not much to respond to in comments like that, and then I’m weighing falling down on an ~obligation~ to respond to every message in my inbox vs annoying people with copy-paste fluff responses all down the page. Plus I know I make more of an effort to comment on things that didn’t get the attention I feel they deserve, so if I’m driving up my own comment count with nonsense, am I preventing myself from being in a position to receive more comments later? And then if I do comment, am I being too effusive or running people’s ears off explaining things they don’t actually need to know? Sometimes people just want to express interest or admiration and don’t necessarily want a whole peek and guided tour behind the curtain.

Can you tell I have anxiety? x3;

Anyway, I do respond when I can. And I keep most of the comments I’ve gotten to go back and reread. 

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm, hmm. Lots of stuff in the TQ Nonsense series would probably qualify! I’m thinking of Unfixable, Wolfsong, and Ethanol. And there’s Bursting Through A Blood-Red Sky (I Can Live, I Can Breathe), of course, but that was always intended to have a fix-it epilogue. It’s just that I wrote it in a couple of hours day-of, stared at it, and decided I didn’t wanna just then. But now that’s As Long As You’re Still Burning Bright (I’m Still Awake), and that’s probably the best romance I’ve written, so that one worked out.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Now and then! When the urge strikes. Uhhh, I’ve got a series of Doctor Who x Undertale crossovers I actually made a whole dang verse for that never made it to print. Get a couple great comments on that every few months or so. I think the World Trigger x Undertale crossover is probably weirder, though, by virtue of WT being a very small fandom. My enthusiasm kinda sputtered out on that one.

Mostly I just daydream crossovers with whatever happens to catch my eye at any given moment. I have a lot!!!! Though odds are out on whether I manage to remember any of them once the initial thought’s passed, lol.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Gotten a couple eyebrow-raising comments, but I think mostly I’m just too small a writer to draw that kind of attention.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t? think so? Think my tastes are a little niche for most people to bother ^^;

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had someone apologize once for any language mistakes in their comment cause they had to run it through a translator! That’s not what you asked (the answer is no), but it’s very flattering to think that someone liked my fic enough to read and comment despite the language barrier.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! :D @pidgeonpostal was gracious enough to agree to co-write Five Nights at Denny’s with me off an idea about shoes. This has fulfilled a long-held dream of mine (collabing with someone, not the shoes) and also introduced me to some lovely people.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Who has time for just one? ;3c Honestly, I care more about the characters and how the relationship – any relationship – between them changes them than I do about ~A Ship~ as a solid, bounded noun-object. I’ve got characters I like more and less and feelings about who does and doesn’t have chemistry in which directions with whom, but finding anything that agrees with those preferences is hard, harder when you take alloromanticism into account. I’ll play in any sandbox with cool toys, especially if other folks have already built sick sandcastles there.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

[kicks every single unfinished fic further under the bed] What nooo no WIPs here, everything on my account is either finished or does not exist

I’ve got a couple extra chapters of Sweeter Than floating around unposted, but 1. that fic’s a mess 2. high school Twixt and post-college Twixt are different people and trying to contort myself into three other me-shapes just cause people Like this fic is not something I’m super interested in 3. it’s headed for an emotional dip and I’d rather leave it where it is than post two chapters, stall out again, and leave folks with a bad end.

As for other fics... it’s looking more and more likely that v7 of my Yellow Brick Road AU will never actually make it out. >w>; I’ve got some really great ideas, but not enough to make me feel like I know what I’m doing, and that’s a big roadblock. Plus trying to engage with RT’s Atlas-Mantle worldbuilding in any serious capacity is... a headache. I can’t recommend the Happy Huntress Cinematic Universe enough, but it leaves some pretty big shoes to follow! And I’ve got small feet. <w<;

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue’s fun, probably as an extension of characterization. I love tearing into what makes people tick, especially against the backdrop of their environment, the story they’re in, and the people they’re up against. Voice is a double-edged sword; I’ve been told my writing is really recognizable and individual, but on the other hand, I’ve been growing frustrated with with the limits of my narrative ability. There’s a strong rhythm I keep when I write (you might notice it here, even) but that leaves me feeling predictable and stale. I’m not sure I’m great at setting as a matter of course, but I’m pretty good at describing setpieces where the need comes up; that comes from my background in poetry, as does the fun I have with sublimating and abstracting complex imagery. And I think I bring some needed nuance to the universal. For good or ill, I don’t do what “everyone else” is doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, writing, for one thing. If I don’t know how something’s going to go and don’t have the urge to write it, it isn’t getting done, which means there’s a billion things that will never see the page and a few hundred more that are never getting finished. I lose momentum easily and have a hard time getting started, and I put way too much standing on finding a foothold with other people; as critical as I am of my work, I have high expectations for the stuff that passes muster, and it never seems to measure up. I’m also really uncreative. Yeah, I can mix up elements and extrapolate events, but coming up with things wholesale is really hard, which is why I avoid it wherever possible and steal/reskin stuff from other places instead.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Something along the lines of “Hoo boy, I am Not qualified for this but hopefully it’s decent anyway.” Maria’s Spanish lines haven’t been a big deal – I’ve used it sparingly and, as a Latin language, it should be easy for English-speaking audiences to pick up on the gist – but I’ve had a harder time with Tai’s Chinese, both because I have Even Less background there and because it is, of course, an entirely different language system. If I write it out in English or Romanized italics, am I colonizing it or changing the meaning? If I write it out in the presumed-original characters (presumed because it’s Google Translate and who knows if I’m even barking in the right forest), am I confusing or alienating my presumed-majority-English-speaking audience? Where should I put the translations? Should I put the translations? And for Frisk’s sign language, thinking back, are the brackets I used instead of quotes alienating/infantilizing? I like that different characters give the text between a different feel, but I’m not an ASL speaker – and I’m pretty sure the word is “speaker,” which would only reinforce that that demographic would rather I didn’t do that. It’s important for all these characters, I think, that they use non-English language where it makes sense; it’s part of who they are. But as a white monolingual English-speaker, I don’t think I can really weigh in.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Thaaaat’d be Pokémon, followed closely with Sonic the Hedgehog. Whether those fics are still on my ff.net account or not (pretty sure I’ve purged them, but you never know) I’ve still got a couple saved to a folder on my current laptop, ostensibly so I can look back and see how far I’ve come and more practically to allow for the possibility of furthering group cohesion through public shaming.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I still like the idea behind The Man Who Is Atlas, and Burning Bright (Still Awake) gets props for being my current fic, though it’s currently in that spot where I’m excited to get new chapters posted but also quietly marking everything up in red pen. I think Harbinger gets the crown here, at least for now.

[lesbian-roguefort]

all of supernova’s lore lol

! disclaimer i wrote this universe like. four years ago lol. !

also it’s split up into three time periods

part one

so basically to preface the concept of the entire au with some context (the details of which i remember the least out of anything): something something the fucking war happens. you know, the one with xerneas and yveltal? they find a compromise to stop tearing humanity apart and shit by choosing a prophet to fight every 200 years or so. whoever gets 5 or so wins in a row (i don’t remember the exact amount) wins the war. the two agree on this and go sleepy.

enter asteria, an aspiring pokémon professor in the region of miramare (a region that i made up out of my whole ass) (tl;dr it’s a small tourist-y island region in the waters between sinnoh and johto). she grows up in a small town on the western end of the island with her friend calypso. they both have big dreams of training pokémon — at least, until calypso’s dad dies in a pokemon-related accident and her mother forbids her from leaving their small town in fear that she’ll die the same way. asteria is saddened by this of course, but continues to pursue her goals

one night, asteria is instructed by her local Pokémon professor, the woman whom she had been taught under, to go out into the forest east of their town. she is told by the professor (prof. redwood, iirc) that that night would be the night that xerneas and yveltal would each choose their prophets, and that scientists were picking up traces of their energy in their own region. asteria understands and sets out for the forest that night. what she doesn’t know is that calypso ends up running away from her home that same night, determined to become a Pokémon trainer like her friends would soon become. do you see where this is going.

something something xerneas chooses asteria as their prophet, effectively trashing asteria’s dreams of becoming a professor, and yveltal chooses calypso as their prophet.

a few days after that night, when asteria has had enough time to process her thoughts, she realizes that oh shit she has to fucking do this because the weight of the world is literally in her hands. she goes back to her professor and chooses her starter Pokémon for the first time. she chooses cyndaquil :)

as she sets out on her journey for the first time, she discovers that, oh shit!, xerneas also blessed her with the ability to understand Pokémon. her cyndaquil ends up telling her that his name is Vincent. vincent is slow to warm up to asteria, but they eventually become friends :)

asteria’s next Pokémon that she catches is none other than sora, a kind little starly who is the actual greatest ever /lh. she and Vincent become friends quickly, forming a sort of brotp together as a powerful double team :) they enjoy training together and they (eventually) become really good friends.

the next Pokémon to join the party is none other than spark, a shinx (which you just saw how he dies. So,). he and sora become friends REMARKABLY fast, hitting it off immediately. spark, who is a little smartass and a bit of a competitive asshole, appeals to the competitive part of sora’s personality and they get along very well.

so sora and spark become really good friends and form a sort of... you know... rivalry :) asteria and Vincent are just standing by each other in the back like 🧍‍♀️🧍

the next Pokémon that asteria catches is a kirlia who was trapped under a fallen tree. she’s very shy at first, but eventually she introduces herself as Eleanor. she’s got A Backstory and tl;dr in her colony her mother raised her to be the leader, putting a lot of pressure on her to act proper and mature at all times. her father was much kinder to her and allowed her to have a lot more freedom, but he eventually died. Eleanor was like ‘ok fuck this’ and ran away.

tl;dr for that tl;dr eleanor had mommy issues

eleanor finds her place as both a healer and a fighter, and she gets along especially well with Vincent, who shares her calm nature.

then, of course, they encounter the very final member of their party: marti. and good lord.

marti is a young misdreavus who traps the team in their little spooky pocket dimension before asteria and the others find out what’s going on and confront them about it. it turns out that marti had lived alone in the forest for as long as they could remember, being a mischievous little bastard and playing around with everyone they saw. asteria enjoys their nature and invites them onto the team.

marti and eleanor become very good friends, with marti especially looking to learn healing magic from eleanor. everyone grows to love them tbh. literally no one could hate marti.

so to start off with how sora and spark’s dynamic develops, we’d have to start with when sora first evolves. spark becomes a little bit jealous with his competitive nature and all and starts training like hell to top her. when he eventually does evolve though, something switches in those two. they go from playful rivals to Rivals Rivals and become a little more bitter towards each other

eventually their bitterness towards each other becomes Serious and they go from rivals to borderline enemies. spark evolves into a luxray Much quicker than sora reaches her final stage, simply because he’s been so fucking. competitive with her. sora’s just fucking tired man she wants to Rest. she likes fighting w/ spark but she eventually gets VERY fed up and lashes out against him. the two fight and sora Finally evolves mid battle, knocking him the Fuck out.

after that, the two agree to be a little kinder to each other, agreeing that mayhaps their fighting got a little out of hand. they become playful rivals again :)

now for eleanor and marti because i love them

i think i originally had them have a kind of falling out like sora and spark had? but i don’t like that anymore actually so it’s getting scrapped 💖

eleanor and marti’s development is best summarized by them becoming closer with one another and marti learning how to heal ppl with their moves n shit. they are literally the fucking cutest help idk how else to summarize it

part one of supernova ends with the team settling down in a house :)

and that’s a wrap babey!!

part two

so remember calypso? yeah? well she’s coming back for part two lol

basically she ends up meeting a young banette with no name who literally fucking murdered their entire family. Lol. she takes them into her team as her first and ONLY Pokémon. fucking idiot

i did say that yveltal chose calypso as their prophet right. because that happened and basically ooOoOoOoO mind control yadda yadda and she’s told of her mission to kill asteria. she agrees because she has literally no choice. calypso ends up telling banette of her mission, who agrees to help her unconditionally because she’s the first person to actually show them love.

basically banette is literally a m//njumper type character who turns out to be a puppeteer-kind. Lol!

so here’s where the story gets a little more confusing lol

it’s easier if i preface this with a little knowledge on calypso’s character. so, uh, fun fact: she really likes knives! like, she really likes knives.

so yveltal blesses her with a special little knife that can mind control anyone it stabs. Wow! incredible

if i remember correctly there were three times that the knife was used prominently. the first time was when a wild Pokémon attacked calypso out of the blue and she had no other choice but to use the knife on it. from there she was able to control it for a bit before releasing it from her control and leaving it unconscious. she kinda goes :o and takes note of how it’s used

she later devises a plan to use it against asteria and co.!

banette sneaks into asteria’s house at night and sets up a sound barrier in the entrance so that no one can hear they’re there. using the power of Spooky Shit they lure the only awake Pokémon on asteria’s team out of their room. and, wouldn’t you believe it!, it’s spark!

banette lures spark in and traps him in a little shadow dome arena type area, where they fight for a bit until banette eventually bests him and stabs him RIGHT the fuck in the chest. bada bing bada bam spark is now under banette (and effectively also calypso)’s control. yay! /s

spark stays under calypso’s control, attempting to blend in with everyone else and, y’know, not appear possessed for several days as calypso bides her time. eventually, she has spark lure asteria and everyone else outside directly into a trap by calypso and banette, who attack them on first sight.

asteria and co are taken off guard and forced into battle, and now spark is against them! oh fucking no! sora is especially distraught by this lol

still though it’s 2 v 4, and marti eventually fires a shadow ball that breaks the knife. seeing that they can’t win, calypso and banette fled, leaving spark Un fucking conscious on the ground in front of asteria and everyone else

so spark is left behind, again, Un Fucking Conscious. asteria and the rest of the team are left to decide what the Fuck to do with him.

after healing themselves all up, they take spark back to their house and are left to just kinda. Wait for him to wake the fuck up? sora ends up visiting him the most frequently because she’s bored when he’s not around . And also she misses him. A lot. Because she Cares Him.

asteria’s like “well shit what now?” and everyone agrees like. “We just wait for spark to wake up because he’s like. Important?” and asteria just goes “yea agreed”

spark stays comatose for a solid six or so days until he FINALLY wakes the fuck up. when he’s questioned about what happened with calypso he explains that all he remembers is getting stabbed before blacking out. everyone just looks at each other like 👀  and they just kinda agree that it was good that they destroyed the knife.

uhhh something something asteria and co end up going to Actual Hell for their final battle with calypso :) and when I say hell I mean The Nether Minecraft. it’s got red stone and lava and yeah it’s literally just the nether fucking minecraft. they fight nearby this fortress built out of dark red stone and it’s literally just a nether fortress.

this time they can’t pussy out of the battle and they have to actually Fight Calypso to the Death so. :)

asteria’s team ends up getting their shit Rocked by banette because of the circumstances and the special Attributes of Hell allow them to mega evolve w/o a mega stone. so they end up getting Big Ass Claws that they use to absolutely FUCK over most everyone. eleanor and marti try their best to keep the rest of the team alive but they’re fucking dying too.

(also special thing abt this universe: in this universe, Pokémon have two health bars! one is the health bar that you see in game, the one that counts down to them passing out. after that health bar runs out, if the Pokémon wills it, they can Wake Up. then they gain a second health bar, which counts down until they Die. Like For Real.)

(this battle is to the death so they Die or they Live.)

in the center of this fortress they’re fighting in is a BIG ass void. like a pit that drops down into a void. asteria and calypso are fighting near this giant ass void, asteria with spark and sora by her side and calypso w/ banette. something something spark gets Severely fucking injured. Like a huge ass claw injury down his side. so does sora but ykyk.

asteria gets pushed and nearly falls down into the void. she’s hanging onto the ledge. just as calypso is about to push her off, she suddenly snaps back to reality in a moment of “oh shit what have i done” and attempts to save her. banette, to put it shortly, doesn’t like this. they have become obsessed with calypso’s original goal of killing asteria and nearly kills calypso getting her away from asteria.

banette, left with asteria alone, pushes her down into the void below, literally killing her. Like Literally Killing Her.

caught up in their victory, though, banette doesn’t see everyone else about to get their ass. tl;dr banette gets shoved down into the void as well and asteria’s team wins the battle, despite asteria being. Y’know. Dead

something something asteria ends up coming back to life through the power of xerneas going “wait she won. She should be alive.”

everything is good and the team is nice and happy and generally alive :)

haha......... unless?

part three

okay, so before we get into how asteria’s team ends up tying in with the crew in part 3. i’d like to preface this with some information on the characters of part 3 :)

alexis is the Pokémon trainer for everyone in part 3! she’s a bit like asteria, just w/o all the prophet stuff. she loves the outdoors and is generally very outgoing and adventurous. she has a huge heart and loves literally everyone. except people undeserving of love but yk

lance is a decidueye and was alexis’s starter pokemon! when we first meet him in the story he’s a dartrix but Eventually. eventually he becomes a decidueye. he’s a little quiet but he’s also very nice and especially enjoys reading a lot :). he’s quick to anger though. so. yes that’s important shhh.

hazel is a ribombee and is literally the sweetest person ever. she’s the healer of the team and is an absolute sweetheart. she’s the kind of person to give platonic kisses. she can be a bit cowardly at times though.

edith is a mimikyu! she’s generally very shy and quiet, but once you get to know her, she’s the absolute best. she would literally give her friends the world if she could. she’s also very skilled in battle and is probably the strongest of the whole team.

cheryl.... gets introduced later ;)

soooooo we all remember spark right? right? ahaha. Haha.

so basically this man goes to sleep one night and then the next morning wakes up in alola. this is obviously terrifying for. Numerous reasons. but the main one on top of him being completely lost is that he is no longer a luxray, but rather he’s been changed back into a luxio. he’s also lost all of his abilities. so not only is he completely lost, but he’s also powerless, too. he’s got damn terrified.

so he’s lost and confused, barely even knowing how he got there, half believing he was in a dream. and then, at last, to top it all off, some fucking dartrix comes flying at him and half scratches his face. and then he gets a fucking pokeball thrown at him. overall, he is not having a good time.

disoriented beyond belief, spark is brought to a pokecenter where he meets his new trainer and teammates. turns out that dartrix that attacked him was a chill dude named lance, and he also had two other teammates, hazel and edith.

(i actually don’t remember how alexis came to know spark’s real name? we’ll just say that edith can speak in alexis’s mind and translate aight)

they all introduce themselves properly, with edith being shyer than the rest. overall though, spark’s terrified and just wants to go back home lol. even at this point, he’s still convinced he’s in a dream of some kind. because, of course, at any time now he was going to wake back up at home. aaaaany time now. /s

the new team end up going through the day together, and spark goes to sleep that night still exhausted and confused.

when he wakes back up in the same place the next morning, he’s even more confused.

despite the circumstances, lance and spark end up becoming good friends. spark also gets along well with hazel, and he eventually is able to befriend edith, too. he’s hesitant to become loyal to alexis, though, because his loyalty still only lied with asteria.

and then he starts getting weird dreams about another island. one with beautiful gardens, tall mountains, and trees. he starts to recognize that something is there, but he’s not sure what.

someone else has a different revelation around this time. surprisingly enough, it’s lance! despite him and spark being friends, he starts finding some things about him to be a bit strange. like how he’s weirdly skilled in battle for being such a low level. and how he hardly responds to alexis. at first he shrugs it off, but then it becomes too strong to ignore. he starts to look for answers.

on their way across the region, lance ends up stopping at numerous libraries, looking for books that might contain the answers he’s looking for. for a while, he finds absolutely nothing, and as he searches, he considers giving up. he starts wondering if everything really is just a coincidence.

at the same time, spark starts getting even more vivid dreams about this place. he discovers that it’s a valley of some kind, one with lots of trees and greenery. it’s nice. one night, he gets the sudden revelation that there might be something there waiting for him. the thought resonates too much for him to leave it alone.

spark also begins to warm up to Alexis as he begins to realize that this could very well just be his life now. he doesn’t want to give up hope that he could go back, but he’s like 🤏 this close. That Fucking Close. the only reasons he’s hanging on are because a) he had literally spent years w/ asteria and b) he has no clue how he even ended up in alola in the first place.

insert the Pokémon moon plot as filler. anyways,

alexis and her team head over to ula’ula island as their next destination! and something that i remember very vividly from the plot was that y’know how you battle hau as soon as you get off the boat? yeah spark gets K fuckin O’d in that battle, but as soon as he’s unconscious, he gets the most vivid dream he’d had yet. he then realizes that ‘oh shit is that valley on this island?’

enter route 10!

meanwhile, lance stays behind to check out the library in town. lo and behold, he finds information on exactly what he was looking for and discovers a little known phenomenon known as the island scan effect, in which abnormal energy levels in an area can cause a Pokémon to have their entire consciousness move into a body that materializes somewhere in another region. the Pokémon’s former body on the other end of the island scan effect enters a coma until the Pokémon dies. or, if the Pokémon’s comatose body dies, then the Pokémon’s new body will become their true one. lance, reading up on this, realizes that it explains a little too much about spark.

the realization then dawns upon him that in order for him to have become so skilled in battle, for him to have taken so long to warm up to alexis, he must have originally belonged to a different trainer.

this causes lance to fall into a spiral of bitterness in which he no longer believes spark is deserving of a spot on the team, and especially not a spot in alexis’s heart.

MEANWHILE, spark walks the fuck into route 10, immediately recognizing it as the location from his dreams! he barely even takes a few steps past from where he made that realization before he’s ambushed just as he had when he’d first awoken in alola: talons to his face.

lo and behold, guess who the fuck it is. Guess. Guess. You definitely can’t guess. Not my fave OC at all. No sir nope not at all. Not predictable whatsoever.

it’s sora because of course she’s here :)

ma’am is in a very similar position to spark: she got bumped down an evolution, and had to live her life in a completely different region. however, when they meet each other, they recognize each other immediately. there’s just something innate about them that brings them to realize that the other was. There.

as soon as they realize that the other is There. In Front of Them. they both become super happy with the reunion :). alexis sees this and goes :)?? but is generally happy that spark has found someone he. Recognizes? she guesses. and, of course, sora joins the party :)

soon after, spark ends up Finally evolving back into a luxray. sora is a little jealous. Just a little.

pov i say meanwhile a hundred times to demonstrate how lance and spark’s stories end up branching off from each other. Anyways,

meanwhile, lance is Thinking about how what the fuck, where is spark even from?? sinnoh??? bitch. and how he just apparently met someone that he previously knew? and how she’s super skilled too? and how she hardly responds to alexis either? he realizes that basically, this is absolutely no coincidence and is absolutely the work of some weird natural phenomenon. his bitterness increases.

meanwhile spark and sora are very happy to see each other again, and they start talking about what the fuck just happened? Like lol they just suddenly got zoomed off to alola? fucking alola? aka completely foreign land and they just had to blend in like it was nothing. they bond over this weird experience and also start to question whether or not they’ll ever get back to asteria again. they decide that even if they never see her or the others again, they’ll still have each other. they’ll figure out a way, of course.

from this point forward it’s mostly just filler with the plot of moon UNTIL...... cheryl arrives :)

alexis trades to get cheryl, a young vulpix who is very sweet but naive. she ends up falling mostly under the wing of lance, who takes her as a kind of daughter figure, acting as her mentor. for a while, he forgets about spark’s whole situation and simply takes care of cheryl. he gets so caught up in helping her out that he stops being bitter for a bit :)

sora and spark enjoy her presence as well, sora especially, who find enjoyment in sharing with cheryl her best battle tactics and strategies. the two end up bonding a lot.

cheryl also ends up being one of the only people who edith warms up to quickly! edith actually ends up loving cheryl /p :) (edith also ends up loving hazel. no slash p we’re girl kissers here)

so as the plot moves forward, cheryl eventually evolves into a ninetales. she also learns the move sheer cold. you know. the one that only has a 30% accuracy but will always kill when it hits? yeah this is important :)

plot progresses yadda yadda and alexis becomes champion! yahoo! now what?

well, as it would turn out, sora and spark are not the only two who have made their way into alola. banette’s there too, but not physically. since ghost type Pokémon can’t truly die (they’re already dead), banette(‘s spirit) goes over to alola to fuck with sora and spark a bit. maybe to get them killed. who knows. they may or may not have manifested themself within lance’s mind and fucked with his bitterness towards spark a bit. Mayhaps.

now, you may be wondering, where’s the ultra specific plot device to propel the plot forward into the climax chapters? well, i’ve got just the thing for you!: a deadly hurricane is on course to hit alola, and as champion, alexis is expected to help deal with it. she doesn’t want to risk any of her Pokémon getting hurt though, of course, so she sends them all into The Box. Ahaha. Ha.

little does she know what terrors will occur in The Box.

so you know how each box will have a background, right? well inside The Box, each sectioned background is a different area. everyone is set down in an area that resembles a sort of maze. they split off, searching for the exit to the maze so that they can find an area to relax a little. spark and lance team up as well as hazel and edith, whereas cheryl and sora split off on their own.

spark and lance find the middle clearing of the maze. from the center clearing, there’s a little open end that stretches out into open sea. spark looks out over that open sea, admiring the water and how the artificial sun sets upon it. too bad he shouldn’t have turned his back to lance, though.

lance takes an arrow and shoots it clean through his throat, just as spark turns around to face him.

almost immediately, lance regrets doing this, of course. because, i mean, what the fuck? and then there comes the cherry on top. guess who discovers the center of the maze just in time to watch that arrow slice spark’s throat?

sora lol

it goes without saying but she is absolutely mortified. she runs over to spark as he collapses on the ground, only to find that he’s already dead and the blow was fatal. she is infuriated.

sora, absolutely blinded by terror and fury, flings herself at lance to get vengeance. she fights him for a good minute until lance leaves himself open for too long and she is able to slice open his own throat with her wing. he also dies pretty much immediately, the blood loss being a bit too much.

this traumatizes sora lol

soon enough, the others reach the center of the maze and sora is forced to explain what happened to them. hazel makes futile attempts to heal the two of them while edith is just fucking depressed, man.

cheryl runs away, sobbing inconsolably.

hazel urges sora to go after her and to try and explain what had happened. understanding, sora attempts to follow cheryl the best she could, taking tips from other Pokémon in The Box at times.

no longer having a host in lance, guess who banette proceeds to infect the mind of next. Guess. Guess. Guess. Guess who’s emotionally fragile and naive enough to fall under their order. Guess. /lh

sora eventually tracks cheryl into a box much farther from where the murder had taken place, discovering that she had gone into a snowy themed area. when she finally confronts cheryl about lance’s death, she refuses to listen. she absolutely can’t stand to hear any justification for a murder like that because lance would never kill anyone, right? she only ever knew him as the kind man who helped introduce her to the team. he would never have killed anyone. especially not one of his own teammates, right?

sora doesn’t know how to respond. she tries again to explain, but before she can speak again, cheryl lashes out at her, suddenly overcome by a foreign power. completely mad with grief, cheryl attacks sora with everything she has in her. every attack, every tactic: everything. sora can’t find it in herself to fight back. all she tries to do is defend herself, but it’s difficult. eventually she slips out of consciousness, and then back into consciousness. as soon as she recovers though, cheryl sends her her final move: sheer cold. it’s dead accurate, and as soon as it strikes sora, the biting cold freezes her to death.

and then she wakes up in her bed back at asteria’s house, surrounded by all of her former teammates.

including spark. Who is alive.

she cries and hugs him. obviously both are deeply traumatized now, and the situation back in alola isn’t getting solved any time soon, but for now they have each other.

also marti x eleanor is canon because i said so.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #299

“you look so beautiful tonight  /  reminds me how you laid us down and gently smiled before you destroyed my life.”

Ever done any drugs? Besides alcohol, no. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. What’s your favorite show to binge? I could only ever willingly *binge* Meerkat Manor and not get bored after like, two episodes. Do you watch porn? No, it's never appealed to me. What’s one of your fantasies? Being financially stable. :^) Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? I've lightly considered getting one, but I really doubt I ever will. What’s the most overrated movie? /shrug. Let people like what they like. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. I'd love to get to know my Facebook acquaintance Courtlynn better; I've wanted to for a long time. I think we could be fantastic friends. We'll like each other's stuff regularly and occasionally leave comments, but we don't really talk. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper ones, by a long shot. I just really like the feeling of a book and being able to clearly see how far in you are. I enjoy the smell and sound of turning pages. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Probably Wonderland, realistically. I would say Azeroth, but too much world-threatening shit goes on every day lol. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? G O T H Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? Yep. Do you drink? Very, very rarely. Almost exclusively during celebrations or on the once in a blue moon occasion we go to a sit-down restaurant. Do you read erotica? No. It would make me super uncomfortable. What color was the last candle you lit? I don't remember at all. Do you own a treadmill? No, but I want one. Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? Well, not exactly me. Mom and Nicole both had memberships to Planet Fitness, and I was able to come as a guest. It was just cheaper that way. What color was the last fish you had? That I owned or ate? Either way, idr. Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? No. If you play The Sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I don't play it. Does your animal sleep with you? Roman does, yes. He legitimately spoons with me lmao. Sometimes he'll move to the bottom of the bed, other times he'll sleep through most of the night there. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? Yes. What is your favorite song to play on Guitar Hero or Rock Band? "Hotel California" by The Eagles on expert is so much fun and just feels good. The ending solo is just great. When you drink chocolate milk do you just buy the jug of it or the syrup that you can put into the milk? Almost always just the chocolate syrup. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone? I know I've thrown it across the room once. Well, not my current phone, but a really old one. How did you meet your first love? High school. Well, you could maybe say Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I literally only accepted it because I thought it was another Jason. We talked via messenger some and then we ran into each other at school, and tbh I kinda knew I was fucked from there lmao. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s underwear? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah. Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I absolutely cannot write in front of others, and I HATE drawing when people are watching. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? Odds are I'll probably be scraping the bottom of the barrel to find something in WoW that sounds even remotely fun, or I'll browse Facebook. How did you find out about your current favorite band? He's one of my mom's favorite singers/bands, so I grew up with some of his music, and when I was getting into rock and metal, I decided to go through her music case and listen to some of it. Ozzy's Black Rain album set the adoration into motion. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? The Internet or Wal-Mart, depending on what kind of clothes I need. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I should have an answer for this very quickly... yet I'm unsure. I don't think anything *major* has happened in a while. Oh, this is a tiny thing, but I did look really hard for the pencil sharpener so my niece could finish coloring her drawing, but I couldn't find the damn thing for anything. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Lots and lots of failure. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Uhhh outgoing, ig. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? Considering I hide a lot about myself to try and be accepted, yes. When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? Literally yesterday to my mom about this unreasonably massive fear I've had lately that she doesn't have much longer in her. I'm terrified she's going to get COVID or her cancer just comes back faster than we hope. To whom do you feel the most important? My mom. Is there something you want but might not ever have? Many things. What’s something you’re working to obtain? Mental stability. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? No, considering they're usually violent and rarely just psychotic nightmares. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? Hm. What in life serves to keep you going? The hope it'll get better, and I'll reach a point of actually being happy and content with my life. What was the last good news you received? Nicole's trip to Maryland to bring back a baby was successful (if that sounds weird, she's a child social worker). He has a heart condition where if his heartbeat or something like that was irregular, she'd have driven all the way up there for nothing; the baby wouldn't have been able to take the ride. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Sweet. Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? I mean I'd like to be in one, but I highly doubt it'd be successful, just given where I am in life. I'd be signing up for heartbreak. Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don't know. Probably Mom for something minor, like just bumping into me or something. Are you wearing a necklace, and if so, who got it for you? No. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Lately? Uh. I don't know, but I can guarantee to you it wasn't long ago at all, considering breathing embarrasses me, pretty much. Do you ‘think out loud’? Sometimes. Do you take gummy vitamins? No. How do you know the majority of the people you know? Former schools. Hell, or maybe various online locations. I just might have more online friends and acquaintances than in-person. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I've talked about my pebble from my partial hospitalization program enough. Can you play electric guitar? I used to be able to play a little bit; I took guitar lessons for a short while in high school. Best I could do was the intro to "Crazy Train," but I'd still occasionally mess up. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? Yes. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yeah. Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? Yes, usually songs that are also angry. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? The only case this has ever happened was with Jason and his gf after me. There are no words to describe the fucking hatred I felt. I haven't seen pictures of him with an s/o in a long time, and I absolutely never plan on seeking them out ever again. What song are you listening to right now? "Rest In Pieces" by Saliva. If you’re not in college, why? I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Just couldn't. Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic? I have a good number of old ones from high school, actually. I wore them all the time. I could never fit into them now. Favorite fictional character? Um, Darkiplier, duh. Most recent thing you are looking forward to? I think it's finally set in stone that I'm getting my tattoo redone soon. Thanks to my laptop saying "ha fuck you," it's not as soon as I originally planned since I had to pay to fix it, but Mom seems fine with helping me pay for my birthday. Not a guarantee that it'll happen on that date of course, given scheduling, but yeah. It should fucking finally be happening. How many stairs can you climb before you wanna pass out? This is too embarrassing to even answer lmao. Have you ever kissed someone with braces? No. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't. I feel like I'd personally need the "wow this is a part of me (and/or my s/o)" connection. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never go hunting, and the only occasion in which I'd fish again is if Dad asked me. I don't like the idea of fishing for fun anymore, but that's like... always been our bonding experience, and I wouldn't tell him no. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Knew. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who are your godparents? I don't think I have any. Do you have any friends who are famous? I have two friends who are parts of bands, but idk how successful they are. I don't think either are like, huge. Nova Mortis if you're into heavy metal and I think Toukan does rap? When was the last time you stayed at a hotel? Hm. I have no idea. What side of a heart do you draw first? Uhhhh I think the left? What is your mom saved as in your phone? "Mama Bear." Do you want your tongue pierced? I had snake eyes for a while, but I took them out because I kept chipping my teeth. I miss that piercing, it was so cute, but it wasn't worth ruining my teeth. Ever made out in a pool? It's possible very briefly, idr. Do you like to have long hair or short hair? SHORT. SHORT. SHORT. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not really. Would you get back with your last ex if you could? Yeah. Have you ever been strip searched? No. Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes. What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate is way too sweet. Did anyone see your last kiss? It was at an airport, so probably. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean, I do, but I don't really know how smart it would be right now. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? A few. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Girt. Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Hell naw man, I looked up to them lmao. What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) Queen. Do you like spaghetti? Hell yeah. It was my favorite food as a kid. What about lasagna? No; I don't like the cheese at all. Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Mosquitoes of course, as well as a bee once. Maybe other things, idk. Have you ever worn contacts? (even just to try them out) Yes, but I changed to glasses because I had too much trouble putting them in and taking them out. Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? No. Have you ever been screened for STDs? No. Did you have your tonsils taken out? No. Did you have your appendix taken out? No. Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? What is a "collector's" glass or mug? Were you your parents’ first born? No; I'm the middle child. Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No. Were you born perfectly healthy or with some (or a lot) of health issues? I was born healthy. Good 'ole days. Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Ohhhh yes, my neighbor and I loved doing that. My favorite was catching fireflies with my sisters, though. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend. I'd get lonely. Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? A whole lot, sadly... I'm despising that disease more and more every day that goes by. I know far too many people who have it or have died at its hands. Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? No. Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? N/A. Do not stay in a relationship where fighting is common. Would you ever share a site password with a family member or partner? I mean sure, depending on the site and person, and the reason they (may) need it. Has anyone ever told you they couldn't trust you? Hm... I actually don't think so? Who in your family has the prettiest eyes? Idk, I don't see enough of my extended family to know. What is an odd food item you would like to try, or have tried? I'm sure there's something I'd like to try, but nothing I think about with consistency, really... Most "odd" food I find unappealing anyway. When/if you drive, do you go the speedlimit? When I did, I certainly always tried to, but I was bad at maintaining a stable speed. I went up and down too much. Are you an aggressive driver? Or more passive-aggressive? I was dangerously passive at driving. Describe a hairstyle you had as a little kid? Well, I had long hair with bangs. What routine of yours would you most hate to break? Probably stopping getting a soda first thing in the morning... That is like so deeply ingrained into my day and is a motivator to get up in the first place. I want to change this to where I'm not allowed to grab one until I've had a full cup of water, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. Has jealousy ever ruined one of your friendships/relationships? Honestly? I think it's possible that Jason totally split on me because of it. We were in this very unstable "friends" position after the breakup and hung out very briefly and awkwardly twice (which I'm pretty sure he didn't want), and I think one of our last attempts at conversation was who a girl he was talking to via Messenger was. No, before any assumptions are made, I didn't snoop. He showed me something on his phone and I just inevitably saw the little Facebook chat icon of a girl I didn't recognize. I don't even remember his answer. I just know it wasn't too long later I was blocked and everything. What is one restaurant you would NOT recommend? I personally am not a Chili's fan. What was your last conversation about? Mom and I were just talking about what a mush the cat is, haha. Who is your favorite person to debate or discuss with? Yo fuck debates, I got mad anxiety over that kind of stuff. Are you more likely to praise or insult yourself? Why? Insult. I don't even believe myself when I try praising, so it's not worth the effort. I have a billion and two reasons. Do you enjoy cloudy days? Why or why not? Honestly, not very much anymore. I've found that it actually does affect my mood. I like some cloud coverage, though. Would it bother you to be forgotten after death? Yes, even though when you think about it, most of us will be. I want to do stomething so badly; not even particularly something major, but just contribute to things and causes that matter and slowly change the world for the better. It's especially likely I will be forgotten though at some point because I don't want kids, so my blood isn't carrying on. Do you tend to prefer healthy or unhealthy snacks? Ugh, unhealthy. Has anyone ever asked you for diet advice? I think so, back when I started recovery and lost like 60 lbs fast as fuck. I wasn't even dieting though, just... came off awful meds. What age is your youngest aunt? Ummmm I have no clue. Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun, but I'm not good at it. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? Totally. Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet. How're your dancing skills? Rusted to the point of just not functional anymore lmao. What brand of batteries do you usually get? I don't pay attention to the kind Mom gets. Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A lot of my FB friends have kids. At least two are pregnant, but I only consider myself remotely close to one. I'm beyond worried about how she's going to be as a mom. Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I've certainly seen some questionable placement in busy areas, but none that are super odd. Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I don't care nowadays; I just stay up until I'm tired like every other night.

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[valkyrieofsmut]

Captive Love   4

UF!Sans x Reader (or Frisk if you wanna)

Summary: It's a tense first night...

A/N: Oh boy, another chapter! It took a lot of restraint to keep myself from just publishing everything I've written so far, but, even though I really would love some feedback, I want to keep the release schedule at least a little consistent! Lol.

Masterlist      Series Masterlist

Story

Cute when you're nervous.

(Y/n) stood in Sans' room, holding a pair of black basketball shorts and a black tank top. She was pretty sure that he only had oversized basketball shorts to wear after seeing into his drawer, but at least he'd been able to find a pair from when he was smaller, probably younger. 

"here ya go, sweetheart," he told her with a grin as he set a pair of yellow socks on top of the pile. "knew i had a clean pair 'round here somewhere." He looked away, his cheeks glowing red, just a bit. "i'da, i'd getcha some understuff, too, but, uh… i feel like we don't 'xactly wear th' same kind." 

(Y/n) bit her lip to stop from smiling.  He really is super cute when he’s all flustered.  

She bumped him to make him look at her and rose a brow as if asking, you sure?

Sans chuckled. "i sure 's fuck don't wear-" he paused, his demeanor shifting. "i don't wear anything i'd imagine on you, dollface." 

Aaand the flirting was back. 

(Y/n) actually didn't mind it so much when it was harmless and not as in her face. He was actually a little funny in a dorky kind of way. 

"'k, imma- go brush my teeth or somethin' so ya can get dressed. 'sides, my bro wouldn't let me hear th' end a it if i didn't." 

(Y/n) changed, quickly making everything as well fit as possible so it didn't fall off or shift to show things she didn't want seen if she stood or moved, and climbed under the covers on the bed. 

Sans came back and immediately walked toward the bed as though nothing about the situation was strange. 

(Y/n)'s eyes widened with a bit of panic and she patted the bed frantically until he looked at her, and asked in the best gestures she had if he was sharing the bed with her. 

"it ain't been a problem s'far, doll," he told her. 

She shook her head nervously. 

"sweetheart, listen-” he started calmly, “i might be a lotta things, an' an asshole might be one a 'em," he grinned to her as he admitted it, "but willin' ta share ain't. an' i'm sleepin' in my bed," he told her as he climbed in, pulling the blankets up to his waist. "don't need ta be s'worried 'bout it doll. ya been here three days an' ain't nothin' happened ta ya yet." 

That was true… From what she could tell. 

"an' we both know that if i  had  planned on doin' anythin' to ya when ya were unconscious- wouldn't've been a fuckin' thing ya coulda done about it." 

(Y/n)'s eyes shot to him, but he seemed to just be mentioning it conversationally, as he looked relaxed, fluffing his pillow a little as he laid back on it. 

"'sides, paps an' i shared a bed when we were growin' up. ‘s only weird if ya make it weird."

She rolled over to lay on her side, residual panic sparking before leaving her system. 

He wasn't wrong. She couldn't have stopped anything from happening to her, even if it was as benign as a dog sniffing her. 

She wondered over their situation and just how out of the norm it probably was. 

She had passed out, that much she knew, and a  monster  had taken her, a  human , back to his place, taken care of her when she couldn't do anything for herself, and was keeping her safe. 

A monster keeping a human safe in the middle of monster territory? It was probably unheard of.

It definitely wasn't the best part of town she lived in, or was walking through when she fainted. Who knew what would have happened to her on the sidewalk if he'd just left her there? 

He was… actually being a pretty decent guy, despite the quirks in his behavior that made her a little wary of him. 

Sans laid on his back, head turned to face (Y/n)'s back, wanting to roll closer and hold her close like he had for the last two nights. 

Was it possible to become addicted to something after only two times? 

She felt so good in his arms; soft, calming, safe… but also like it gave him a purpose to take care of her. It was something he hadn't felt in a  long  time.

He saw her arm shift, her hand landing on the mattress between them, in the narrow space it was hard for him to keep. It shifted closer, feeling around like it was looking for something. 

Sans moved his hand closer so hers would run across it, even if that's not what she'd been looking for. 

She took his hand, wrapping her fingers around it and gave it a squeeze. Then another. Saying thanks it seemed like. 

Trepidation stirred in his chest and he hesitated, but then squeezed her hand back and told her, "no problem, sweetheart." 

It must have been the right response, because she took her hand back and shifted to get comfortable to sleep, Sans still watching her. 

Fuck. He was gonna have a bad time tonight. 

.

(Y/n) woke, not wanting to get up, like always. 

Mornings were of the devil… even if they were so pretty… actually that’s probably  why  they were so pretty. 

She tried to roll over and start waking up for work, but there was a force keeping her where she was. She opened her eyes and looked around, remembering that she wasn’t at home, and was, in fact, basically trapped in monster territory with a loud, scary guy and a stranger who was in the same bed as her, and probably had his arm wrapped around her. 

She shifted uncomfortably and felt him shift behind her. 

His arm was over her, around her lower stomach, his other under and around her ribs, face buried in her hair, hips cradling hers as his legs stretched down. And… oh yeah, he had an erection. 

Not that it was making her nervous, no… 

No, it was making her very alarmed, though. 

She never would have thought that he could be this strong- he was a  skeleton , he had no muscles! But there she was, trapped in his arms, unable to get away. 

That was scary enough in and of itself, but there was also the added thing of the erection pressing into her back. 

He was a stranger.

Holding her against him.

His dick heavy and showing what he’d like to do about now...

And she couldn’t escape. 

If she had her voice, her whimper would have been audible. She was glad it wasn’t. One thing she’d learned; don’t show weakness. Any weakness and a predator would attack. 

And Sans? 

He was most definitely a predator. 

“mmmmmm, sweetheart,” he mumbled in his deeper morning voice. His hips bumped against her ass and his hand stroked over her lower belly, just above her panty line. 

(Y/n) felt how stiffly her body had frozen, as though she were afraid to even breathe, but her brain was yelling at her as loudly as it could. 

You idiot! Don’t lay here and take it! Don’t let him think he can do whatever he wants to you! Push him off- smack him- punch him in the miraculously existing dick! Do NOT make up excuses like ‘he’s asleep, he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing’ the more excuses you make the easier you make it for him to take advantage of you!  

“mmmm, sweetheart… ya feel s'soft… smell s'good…” His hips bumped her again. 

Punch him in the dick!  Her brain screamed.

However, her body had its own ideas, and instantly flooded with desire as his hand slid up over her hip, giving it a squeeze. 

“you makin’ my shorts wet, sweetheart?” He asked suggestively, but softly. A sinfully tempting rumble in her ear. 

(Y/n) gave a squeak of a yelp at the proof that he was one hundred percent awake. 

The arm around her ribs tightened a little, pulling her tighter against him. “sorry, doll, i do tend ta get a lil touchy when 'm asleep." His hand ran down her thigh and back up to her hip. "an' y're really pleasant ta touch." He took one last deep breath from her hair and pulled away, climbing from the bed as she continued to lay there in near shock. 

Her tense muscled motionlessness lasted for a few minutes of uncertainty before she felt her muscles starting to relax.

They immediately tensed again when the door opened and Sans spoke, though. 

"doll, i hate ta leave ya here on yer own, but my bro isn't gonna let me skip my rounds t'day. he's, uh, actually a little pissed i been skippin' out th' last couple a days ta take care a ya." 

(Y/n) turned and sat up, looking at him. A garbled noise came out of her throat and she made a frustrated sound at it, then motioned to ask if she could use his phone. 

"sure, doll, lemme know if ya need help talkin'," he chuckled. 

(Y/n) bit her lip and looked up to him, wincing at how she thought she'd be able to communicate with her boss over the phone when she couldn't even get all of her thoughts across to the skeleton in the room with her with full body language and sight cues around. She nodded at him and he sat at the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to him for her to sit there. 

With a silent resigned sigh she sat next to him and dialed the number, pressing the speaker button. 

After a few rings, her boss's voice came over the speaker giving the store introduction. 

Sans looked at her, only to see her gesturing for him to speak. 

"uhhh, you uh, you got a employee there named (y/n)?" He asked. 

Why did hearing him say my name make that shiver run through my belly?  She wondered, feeling a bit of worry for her mental state.

Stalkholm syndrome was a thing...

"I'm sorry, I'm not at liberty to give out personal information about any of the employees working here," her boss answered. 

"oh,  weeell  ," attitude started building in his voice, "i  wuz  callin' ta let ya know why she ain't been there, but if ya don't even know if she works there-" 

"I'm sorry, you have information for me about her?" Her boss asked. 

"ya should be. an' yeah. she uh," he glanced at her again as though asking what he should say, but she just made encouraging gestures again. "she wasn't feelin' too good an' passed out in an alley. luckily, a good samaritan took 'er home ta recover." 

Her boss made an indistinct noise on the other end of the line in the pause between Sans' sentences. 

"uh, only problem now, is that she's kinda stuck… in monster territory." 

"She was kidnapped and taken to monster territory?!" Her boss asked in surprise. 

"wh- nah, she's not kidnapped- s-she was  unconscious-  " Sans told him near frantically, trying to defend himself, worried what (Y/n) would do if she thought he'd kidnapped her. Probably run, and  that  wouldn't help their situation  at all . "w-was tryna help 'er-" 

"Well, if she's in monster territory, she's as good as dead," her boss sighed regretfully. 

"nah, she's safe, she jus' can't get ta work-" 

"Thanks for letting me know," her boss said, cutting him off before the beep of the phone disconnecting sounded. 

Sans stared in disbelief at the phone in his hand for a moment before saying, “whatta fuckin’ moron. couldn’t even listen ta a whole sentence. he always like that?” He asked, looking up to her. 

(Y/n) shrugged and nodded morosely. 

“eeeeeeeeh,” Sans shrugged and stood. “if brains were explosive, some people wouldn’t have enough ta blow their noses!” He crowed and started laughing. He turned back to see (Y/n) silently laughing as well and felt a shot of warmth in his soul, and then a heat wash over his cheekbones. He looked away a little flustered and rubbed the back of his skull. “ah, so doll… i-imma go do my rounds so paps don’t bitch at me, i sh-should be back b-by dinner, um- help yerself t-ta anythin' in th’ fridge, while ‘m gone, though.” Stars, he hated how he stuttered when he got flustered...

(Y/n) grabbed the sleeve of his coat and tugged until he looked at her. She gestured to herself, him, the door and then back to herself followed by the bed. 

Can I come with you and you can take me home?

He was pretty sure that’s what she was asking. 

“sorry, doll, it’s still too dangerous. i’m gonna check around ta see how much attention is on ya, but i gotta go do rounds for that,” he told her. 

She sat with an unreadable expression for a moment, then nodded, seeming to accept his answer. As he was about to turn to go, she tugged on his sleeve again and gestured at him then lifted her hand taller at the side of him. 

“my brotha? he’s goin’ out, too, so ya don’t have ta worry ‘bout ‘im. but…” Sans seemed hesitant about something. He guided her to stand by her arms and rested his hands on her shoulders. “promise me ya won’t leave th’ house. ’s dangerous out there, a-an’ i already spent all this energy savin’ ya- i-it’d be a shame ta have it go ta waste-” His cheekbones were starting to get warm again, and he could see the tiny smile she was trying to hide by nibbling the inside of her lip. “promise me.” 

(Y/n) nodded, holding back the amused smile from his cute blush. 

“good…” He sounded a little relieved, but shifted it to something he felt more comfortable with. “howa ‘bout a g’bye kiss, then?” He asked suggestively with a grin as he leaned in a little closer. 

(Y/n) blanched, leaning back a fraction of an inch before putting her hands against his shoulders and pushing him back. He went easily, though the grin didn’t disappear, and she leaned forward and gave him a small peck on the jaw as a sort of reward for not pushing it. 

She was rewarded with the instant flushing of his cheeks. 

holy fuck, i didn’t think she’d actually do it,  he thought. His blush darkened and his face shifted a bit angrily in his flustered state and he saw her tongue poking out at him. 

He lifted a brow ridge and leaned in closer so that her nose almost brushed his nasal ridge, then opened his mouth and carefully took her tongue between his teeth, turning his head to tug it back and forth.  

The look of surprise that had appeared on her face was reward enough, but the flush that flowed over her oh so soft skin and the way her breath sped up just a little made him even more invested in teasing her. 

His hands went to her waist and drifted down to her hips, pulling her body within an inch of his before he let her tongue go and ducked his head to let his breath brush over her throat, feeling particularly accomplished when he noticed her nipples pressing stiffly against her shirt. “much fun as this is, sweetheart, 'm gonna have ta go, b’fore ya convince me ta jus’ stay here an’ play wit ya all day,” he told her. 

(Y/n) felt her cheeks heating more and she nodded, giving a small wave as he stepped back. 

“i’ll see ya fer dinner, sweetheart. stay inside,” he told her before going out through the door.

“fuck,” he muttered to himself when it’d closed. “my cock’s never gonna get a break from bein’ stiff… hang in there, buddy,” he encouraged as he looked down at it.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Ok, I was gonna ask you about something else, but after reading the part 2 of the Mic and the exchanged student, I'm in DIRE need to see the part 3 where she has to start her hero career and she, obviously, need his help(not because she is not capable of starting it by herself but because she just needs him to continue to be by her side like it always has been)! Pretty please! Thank you! 💗

A/N: SKSKSK hOw cOUlD i sAy nO to tHat prEtTy PwEasE uwu. Haha yeah totally i’ll do this. Sorry if this comes out a bit late i’m working on some things. Thanks for requesting <333 Any requests let me know!

-So you know that bonus thingy i did in the last one? Where the parents were mean and all that? Well let's continue with that story line, I feel like that’s a bit more interesting for this!

-So i feel like after everything went down, realistically your parents would have forced you to come home and not contact Hizashi. Which sucks because he was the only one that really believed in you, And Japan became like a second home, even though your japanese isn’t the best and you may not look like everyone, you grew to love it and appreciate it. The thought of going back home to your parents stormed in your stomach

-Hizashi hated the idea too, he felt like your parents were mentally abusive and he really hated the idea of you going back. He talked to you and wanted to know if you wanted to get others involved and what not so you didn’t have to go back and leave the school. But you didn’t want to go through that whole process

-Besides you were “almost an adult” and soon able to start your hero career. You somehow convinced him to let it go and have faith you’ll be okay.

-”Alright Y/N, If you ever want it, you can always have a job under me and my agency. Even if you don’t wanna be a hero, you can work on my radio show.”

-Damn leaving Present was like the hardest thing. He was like a positive father figure that you always wanted and finally got, then when everything was good it got ripped away. It hurt so badly.

-Plus present took it so hard because he felt it was his fault, ‘Why did i have to say something?’ ‘It’s all my fault’

-Going back to your home country was like heck? Your parents forced you to stop with all this “hero mess” and made you go on a “more stable” path. They took away all your devices and stuff so you can “focus” but in reality they wanted to make sure you weren’t contacting Present or looking into hero stuff.

-Damn You’re really wishing you took Present up on that offer and let him help you stay

-You couldn’t work on your quirk or train so while everyone was asleep you’d do exercises and warmups Present taught you

-In those few years you were so miserable, and all you wanted to do was go back to japan and go on the path you always wanted to. You missed Hizashi and the friends you had made, Here you were lonely and tired, but there you had so much life and happiness.

-So secretly you were saving money so as soon as you get a chance, you can get away. So occasionally you’s ask for 20 or so dollars to get “books” or “go to the mall” when in reality you were just storing the money away in your secret trust fund lol.

-By the time of graduation you had enough money saved up to go travel, thanks to the extra help of graduation money from family members of course.

-As soon as you got home you brought a ticket, reserved a hotel and packed all you bags and left to the airport by the early morning. Whew you felt as if you were running from the Feds and for some reason that gave you a rush of excitement you hadn’t felt in a long time.

-finally you get to see Hizashi after all this time

-When you got to Japan, you went to the first place you could think of. Present’s agency. You couldn’t quite think of where else to get to him, so this was your first resort.

-Upon arriving you were so nervous. What if Hizashi didn’t even work there anymore?? What if he didn’t want to help? After all you kinda of cut him off even though you promised to keep him posted every once in a while. Although that wasn’t your fault but maybe he hated you for it?

-Either way it was too late now and you were already at the front desk, standing awkwardly standing

-“Hello dear, is there anything I can help you with?”

-“u-Ugh wEll uHhh???”

-“....“

-“....”

-“Do you have an appointment...or….”

-“nO...yeS? Haha i'm sorry, I'm looking for Hizashi Yamada. I’m an old friend and he told me to come here if I ever needed him..?”

-“...right...Your name?”

-“Y/L L/N.”

-“I don’t see you name under any notes or messages for him. By safety protocol I cannot let you up past this floor without a proper appointment or verification.”

-“Well is there anyway that I can leave him a note..with my contact and such? Or a way to set an appointment?”

-“Yes I can leave a note but I cannot guarantee he will see it and you can only make an appointment if you’re an endorser.”

-“Ah I see, Well I guess I’ll just leave a note then? Here is my name and number and can you just tell him I’m back in Japan. I need to talk to him.”

-“of course.” The lady at the front desk smiled as she finished writing the small note and moving it aside with the others

-You began to make your was towards the exit only to be stopped dead in your tracks when you heard an all too familiar voice boom through out the lobby

-“YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHATS UP OFFICE LAAAAADDYYYYY! ANY NEW MAIL FOR ME??? HMM HMM????”

-Turning around, your eyes met the sunflower blonde male that leaned against the counter with a Gigantic smile across his face.

-suddenly a similar smile he wore, slapped across your face as you unconsciously shouted

-“H-hizashi?!”

-instantly his eyes landed upon you, yet his award winning smile vanished and turned into a tired expression

-ugh another crazed fan waiting at the front desk for him.

-except you weren’t, you were his most favorite person on the planet. However you looked so different. And he could hardly recognize you.

-For a moment he just stared at you with the utter most bleak face, until it hit him.

-“America?”

-“Mr. Hizashi!”

-HE IS SOOOO HAPPY SKSKSKSKSKS LIKE BRO HE THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

-HE SMILES SO WIDE AND LITERALLY JUMP HUGS YOU

-“MRSSSS. AMERIIICAAAA.”

-he has a moment where he pulls apart and just gazes at you

-i-is that tears in his eyes??

-awww so soft

-sMotheRs yOu In kIssEs (friendly forehead ones lmao)

-He’s just so happy to see you looking healthy and safe. He loves you so much, even if it’s been years.

-“I thought something bad happened to you, I tried emailing and contacting you but no response. Oh I’m so happy I get to see you again! Are you okay? Are you hungry?? Wait let’s go talk at a restaurant.”

-So you guys go to a restaurant and talk and reconcile about the past. Apologized for not responding and talking so long to come back.

-“No worries I’m just glad your here now! How has hero work been? Signed with any major companies.”

-“Haha um actually no not yet.”

-“WHAAAAT?! What are you waiting for?? I’m sure by now your quirk skills and everything has gotten waaay better now with all the training you’ve probably had there. I’m sure you’ll get signed just like that.”

-“Actually Hizashi. The last time I actually trained or really used my quirk was the last time we trained together.”

-He literally thought you were joking. No that’s not possible that was years ago.

-“No I’m serious, my parents wouldn’t let me do hero work after all that went down and they limited the use of my quirk. These past years I’ve been studying to be a pharmacist because my parents says it’s a more realistic job for someone like me and hero work is nonsense.”

-What no? They couldn’t of held a grudge that long? No you were on such a good path to become a hero. He was sure of it. The world really needed someone to step up, with the rise of crime and he knew you could do it. So for your parents to say “nonsense” was so unbelievably stupid.

-“What?” that was all he could muster hearing your news

-“yep! And I couldn’t respond to you because my parents took away all my devices, and gave me ones that were restricted and only for school research purposes. Everything about heroes or quirks that wasn’t related to Pharmaceutical Purposes wasn’t allowed. I actually saved up cash for years and gathered up the money I got from graduation to buy a ticket and a small apartment here. Although I’m sure my parents will be hot when they noticed I left the country, but at least I’ll be thousands of miles away and safe from their antics right? Haha.”

-He was so shocked. He didn’t think him telling off your parents and protecting your from them while you were in Japan, would cause them to go to such extremes. What kind of people?

-“Y-yeah. But don’t worry I’m alive aren’t I!” You laughed out

-He smiles at your attempt of optimism and nodded in agreement

- “Do you still want to become a hero?” He asked twirling his spoon around in the soup he earlier ordered

-“W-Well yes. Actually I do a lot, this world is becoming more cruel and I really hate sitting back and seeing these innocent people who can’t fight back get hurt everyday. But I know it’s hard but It’s something I really still want to do.”

-“Okay then, Y/N I’ll train you and help you become a hero. In the moring I’ll start paper works and a letter to get you into my company under me. I’ll make sure you become the hero you always wanted to be...that I always knew you could be.”

-“Wait are you serious.”

-“Only if you are. We’ll train in the early mournings and I’ll take you with me on patrol at night so you can get a feel of what it’s like. I’ll guide you Y/N and do better than I did before. I owe it to you.”

-And after that, that’s exactly what happened

-you guys were out on a morning run by 5 and working out at the gym around noon. Around 11 at night you guys were on patrol until 3 am. And this went on for months

-He pushes you harder than you possibly knew your body could be pushed

-You your quirk became much stronger and stable.

-teaches you different techniques and gives you pointers on where to go out on patrol and how to look for suspicious behaviors

-you’re under his company and training for about a year or so before you break off and go on your own. He makes sure you’re fully confident and he knows that you’re at a good spot beforehand though.

-You actually get signed under a big company and recruited for a few others all over.

-Before you left his wing, you made sure you thanked him for everything and that he was totally fine with it

-which he was

-He’s still always beside you though. You knew in your heart you still needed his guidance and his friendship in your life, and same for him. He really adores you and doesn’t want to just say goodbye. It hurt so bad the first time, he couldn’t imagine how it would feel departing again.

- He checks up on you everyday and make sure to go out to lunch every one in awhile.

-When you’re kind of lost or stuck or need a shoulder to cry on, he’s always right there.

-“Hizashi...I don’t know. Maybe my parents were right and I’m really not cut out for this. It’s so hard and I’m so tired. I just really want to cry.”

-“Hey shh, don’t worry you’re doing great. It just gets hard sometimes but trust me it’ll get better. I’m right here for you.”

-If you parents did come back to Japan and came to harass you or what not, Hizashi is instantly there protecting you and makes sure they won’t ever do that again. You are not going back to the U.S. with them, even if he has to get the legals involved he would.

-Send little gifts to him every so often as a thank you.

-You stay in Japan for the first couple years of your hero career but then branch out a bit to different countries

-collecting Souvenirs and postcards to send back to hIzAsHI

-When you become super successful he’s like “See Y/N, what did I tell you? You’re going to be fucking great.”

[otomehonyaku]

Wanna answer every other question too? Cuz I’m kinda curious what you’ll answer! (*ゝω・)ﾉ

Yeeeeees sure!! Then I’ll hereby invite you to do the same hehe (((o(*°▽°*)o))) I’ll leave out the ones that I’ve already answered!

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

2 Do you like Laito’s fedora?I personally don’t really like fedoras in general but it suits Laito’s character really well!

4 How did you find the fandom?I think through Tumblr a looooong time ago? I played the first game in 2013 or 2014 when I barely knew any Japanese, and then I ran a scenario/headcanon blog for about a year in 2016/2017 (and deleted it afterwards rip) during which I began properly learning Japanese, and now here we are back at it again as a translation blog!

5 Who’s your favorite parent?Hmmm…….. I don’t really know that much about the characters but after picking up some bits on Christa in Lost Eden I really want to know more about her!

6 What is your favorite picture of the brother/brothers?Tbvh that new merch with the boys in those edgy harness thingies…….. it’s a yes from me

8 Who would you want to cuddle with?Yuma!!!!!! He’s a solid unit and he looks like a great cuddler

9 Do you hate anyone in DL?Lol hate is a bit of a strong word but the only character I personally don’t really like is Kanato

10 Do you ship anyone?Yuma’s and Shuu’s (lowkey) bromance gives me feels but no shipping hehe

13 What do you think of the fandom?Not really sure! I’m not that active in the fandom outside of posting translations and stuff and playing the games from time to time, and I do like reading some blogs’ headcanons/oneshots, but otherwise I’m….. neutral, I guess? Hehe

14 Are any of your friends/family into DL?I rarely meet people irl who have played the games omfg one of my friends has seen the anime and someone else I know from uni has apparently played the first game but otherwise it’s just the people I’ve met on Tumblr!

13 Sub or dub?10000000% subs. Dubs make good memes sometimes but that’s about it lol

16 Have you played the games?I haven’t played every single route but I own all the games except Lunatic Parade!

17 Describe each brother with one word.This is gonna be a bit tentative (and more than one word) but here we go…..Ayato: Basketball fuckboyShuu: Sleepy boye but persistent boyeReiji: Tea enthusiast and keigo but probably owns some whips and handcuffsSubaru: Good-willed but will smash a wallLaito: Hentai…… just hentaiKanato: Spoiled bratRuki: Bookworm but probably owns some whips and handcuffsYuma: Vegetable garden yeehaw daddyAzusa: Smol wounded baby that needs some therapy Kou: Idol fuckboy with very nice eyesCarla: His Highness the KingShin: Lowkey furry, probably would do it in wolf form Kino: Otaku

18 Do you think Kanato is scary or cute?Neither (￣ ￣|||)

19 Which brother would you trust the most?Uhhh……… probably Ruki or Yuma

21 First thoughts compared to your thoughts now?I don’t remember my first thoughts on the games tbh……. I’ve always thought it’s a really unique series, I guess? It’s almost a complete inversion of the otome genre and I think that’s really interesting! I know to take some things (the cruel/abusive bits) with a grain of salt but I really like the dark setting in general and depth of some characters

22 Which brother is most like you?Oh man I have no idea???? Maybe I’m a bit like Shuu because I’m exhausted all the time but that’s about it omg

23 Your thoughts on Teddy?Nothing in particular (´• ω •`)

25 What do you think of DL haters?To each their own, right? I get that some people don’t really like the kinda cruel nature of especially the earlier games, but as I’ve seen some people on here point out before—that doesn’t mean people who play DL are into those kinds of things irl! Live and let live hehe

26 Has this fandom made you more sadistic/masochistic/other?………..In all honestly I do think this franchise has contributed to me being a huge sub and my bf teases me for it lol

27 Who was the first brother you fell for?Good ol’ Ayato, probably!

28 Would you ever show your parents DL, and why/why not?There will probably be some kind of mention of DL in my thesis so my parents will probably get to read some things about it there but otherwise no (⌒_⌒;)

29 Do you drive a Subaru?The only car I have at my disposal is a relatively old Peugeot but I’m more of a Volvo (and public transport) kinda girl hehe

[justkpopjokes]

Nice to Meet You, Angel. || Demon!Joshua

Ft. Joshua/Jisoo(s Chri—actually no, the complete opposite)

Anon: Demon Joshua😏

A/N: This AU has gone through 4 whole plot rewrites rip. kinda inspired by Good Omens!! (also 2 aus in a week?? whaaaaaat)

!! This is a gender neutral!reader fluff with 1945 words~ !!

Before we begin the plot, lemme quickly go through the basics of the universe

yayy lin’s doing world building again

there are angels and demons in the universe, simply just the optional jobs of people’s souls once they die

if they choose this job, they don't remember much of their life on Earth, but they do remember events they associate w/strong emotions bc it helps them

for ex. an angel could remember how sad a death made them feel so they know to prevent it

and a demon can remember how angry a bully made them felt so they can make people that level angry

both angels & demons take the form of their bodies when they were alive and roam on Earth

they can also return to Heaven/Hell and observe Earth from their respective realms

also yes demons can be summoned, but lmao you can also just give em a phone call via incantation

the angel equivalent to this phone call is praying

demons can pretty much do anything as long as it relates somehow to the Seven Deadly Sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth)

angel powers are more holy/good, and they can grant things in prayers if they choose, etc

Anyway, YOU KNOW THIS BOI??

THiS bOi sHUa

he's chill af for a demon ok

one of the first demons so like no one really knows how he’s a demon bc he’s so polite

there’s some speculation that he was one of the first to fall but like

what the hell did he do???

But also some say he became a demon out of spite bc he saw a demon commit a “sin” that actually helped someone

so he became a demon just to help people in a more… unholy way

and then he was upset angels hated him just because he was a demon

like wow spirit discrimination

NOW YOU—

you are an angel (literally)

you’re the angel that protects like. atheists/"non-believers" bc c'mon just because they don’t believe in God/gods doesn’t mean they shouldn't have access to that protection service

(yes hello you’re calling APS, the Angel Protection Service sponsored by God, how may I help you?)

so yeah you’re pretty chill yourself since you have to constantly deal with people who don't believe in you lol

One fine day, you were listening to a prayer from a sick college student

ok it wasn't really a prayer but they were like "oh please, my god, let me get some sleep tonight"

you gladly put them to sleep and they slept soundly at night

when you checked on them the next morning, you noticed—

A dEmON?!?

…lying right next to the student (but above the covers, he has boundaries), who isn't stirring at all

if the leather jacket and ripped jeans didn't tip you off, he had some horns on his head to confirm ur suspicions

You: "Hey what in the world are you doing here?!"

???: "What? If they get up rn they won't be able to pay attention in class. I'm letting them rest first"

You: "Wha—who—okay, okay okay… who are you?"

"I’m Joshua, nice to meet you, angel"

Shua knows he has the name of an angel so afterwards he's like. Don't get it confused bish.

you ask him what he's doing, and basically, he's using the sin sloth on this sicko student so they stay in bed and recover instead of going to class

Even tho you feel iffy abt letting a demon affect a human right in front of you, an angel, you are a bit intrigued

you haven't seen a demon use their powers for good before…

who is this guy??

anyway he disappears, presumably to Hell, once the student needs to wake up

which is when u miracle them some bread to get

But don't worry, you're destined to meet again~

which you did, on several occasions

and ok maybe you were glad to talk to someone who was actually interesting

so, yknow,,, if another angel was like "hey y/n uhh there's a demon… bothering? someone? idk but it's a non-believer, that's ur jurisdiction right"

you had a guess on who this demon was…

…and you were right

Joshua: "Oh hey angel"

You: "Ew, you make it sound like a pet name"

JS: "Well I don't know your name, do I?"

You: "Oh. Right. It's Y/N."

he still calls you angel tho, smh that flirt

y'all just bicker and/or chat for a bit whenever u go help the same person

Like one time when he insisted that you let him use gluttony on a teen so they'd eat a lot of ice cream that day

they had just been through a bad break up so u let it slide

Or another time he used wrath on a timid kid so they could stand up to a bully

all of these ended w/you two bickering while walking away

There was this little girl you were watching from heaven who was writing a letter to "Whoever Can Do This"

little girl started listing a bunch of things, which you assumed were toys

but then you realized it was actually stuff like food, friends, a puppy, a loving dad who will go out to the park with her—

so u go down there to check on this lil child

…and that's when you see a familiar leather jacket watching over her and suggesting other things to write

you can’t see him from heaven so ur like gosh darn it I should’ve known

"Joshua?? I should've known it was—"

*cue both shua and the child turning around*

JS: "Oh hey, nice to see you, angel"

Lil' Nugget: *GASP* "Mr. Josh is this ur s/o???"

JS: "Hm? Oh, I mean, no, but um…"

You: "Josh what have u been putting into this one's head…"

Shua's all like "greed! Her dad's been ignoring her since her mom died so we're writing a list of things she wants"

then the smol girl smiles so wide and is like "Mr. Josh is helping me! He's my new friend!!"

ur like awww dangit ok I'll let it slide if u let me help

Once she finishes it, Josh hands the girl's list over to you

he explains quietly he wants you to miracle her dad to pay attention+love his daughter again so they can have/do all the other things on the list

you read it over again and do just that

The little girl gives the list to her father, your miracle allowing them to have a fun afternoon eating ice cream and playing with her toys

And you and Josh have a nice time too~

once y'all left that girl's room, he invited you for some soda

"Coke? I hope you mean Coca Cola"

"Yeah, uh, there's a place with a vending machine not too far from here. We can walk"

You don't spend time on Earth often, but you learn as you walk w/Josh that he "prefers the air up here"

mainly bc he doesn't fit in with the other demons, but he also just likes spending time with humans

(obviously tho he needs to go down to hell occasionally for like conferences and such)

you don't remember if you've ever been on a date before lol

Josh doesn't either, but he does remember how jumbled up ur emotions get, which he is not ready for

then again of course he has, I mean look at that charm

however, you can't remember if the feeling you get when going on ur little date with Shua is love :/

it isn’t really, but just bc this is ur first “date,” so it makes sense

But Josh makes sure to take you out again… for dinner!!!

you were investigating the use of lust and pride at the same time

of course, it was just Josh helping a guy find someone to hook up with

you were kinda disgusted and wanted to leave, so shua gladly took your arm and pulled you away to a restaurant!

y’all had a nice dinner, paying with some money Josh had collected

and then you went to walk together and chat some more

he’s breathtaking, and he actually wants to spend time with you despite y’all being on opposite sides of an inevitable war

You don’t care, going on more dates just to talk and not have to care about ur jobs and other stuff

Shua hears you yell “what the hell” at some point and he’s like woAH you can say that???

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not really polite, but I can. Can you say ‘Thank God?’”

“‘Thank God?’ Well look at that, I can. Good point”

you love him because he’s so chill and doesn’t give a f*** abt anything

except you and humans, apparently

like he could’ve burned or smth by saying “Thank God” or be confined to the basement of Hell for helping people/talking with you, but he doesn’t care lmao

However, no one really knows you’ve been talking with a demon tho so uhhh

when they do you get in a little bit of trouble w/the archangels

ur boss was essentially like “y/n what the HECK are you doing?!? you’re on thin ice rn”

you get mad at him, trying to defend Joshua

and you’re right in doing so, since he just wants to help people with a different set of powers

ur archangel boss sends you back down to Earth, saying you can’t return to Heaven until they work smth out

(they probably want to burn you with Hell fire)

You warn Josh, knowing they might burn you

he’s adamant on keeping you with him, so y’all try to hide or smth

which won’t work of course, but you can try, right?

right?

Shua and you sit together on a bench, with you leaning on his shoulder

“Joshua… I’m scared, I don’t want to be burned!”

“Don’t worry y/n, it’ll be okay. I love you, angel, nothing bad will happen”

and just like that, you remember what it feels like to love

“You’re right. I love you too. Help the non-believers for me if I go, alright?”

“I’ll help them just for you.”

Your archangel boss is smart, knowing the worst punishment for you is to be reincarnated without memories

you wouldn’t remember Joshua at all

and when he drags u back up to Heaven, you want to cry

do angels cry holy water? anyway

you’re sent back to Earth as a baby that can’t fend for itself

You remember nothing.

You’ve recently graduated from college and are out looking for a job

you’ve gotten rejected and fired so many times

for ex. just now, after you were arguing with someone who spoke another language that you didn’t know and there was no translator available

the customer wasn’t willing to cooperate either, ignoring your attempts to use an online translator smh

it’s late and you’re tired, so you leave, angry, and start coughing frantically when you inhale too much smoke coming from the alley next to you

naturally, you’re like “What the hell?! Dude, you’re not supposed to be smoking this close to an entrance!”

“Why do you care? You don’t work here anymore”

you take a better look at the stranger once he steps into the light of a nearby lamppost

it’s a dude in a leather jacket and ripped jeans who drops his cigarette

“Need help getting a job, y/n?”

“how do you—what—who are you?”

he extends a hand out to you, which you shake reluctantly

“I’m Joshua. Nice to meet you, angel.”