#i know anyone that actually needs to read this wont but i needed to say something

[jennycalendar]

was just about to start the next chapter of what you make before my brain finally realized that the end is actually in sight and that after i complete this arc there is actually no more what you make and now i’m Having A Moment

[coriphallus]

The Dark Urge thoughts (and prayers)

anyone whos been following me knows im absolutely not normal about durge and i wanna share some tidbits that are implied, but not necessarily canonised, from their story;

I already made a post about it but it seems like bhaal has a degree of control over whether they live or die. he can deny them death, if they fail the duel with orin.

bhaal can command the slayer. he forces orin to transform if you talk to her about sarevok and the scene makes it clear that its against her will.

bhaal manipulates his kin in a subtler way. in the colony you can find a letter from old durge thats apologising to his father for 'liking' gortash. you can interpret their relationship as something deeper but even if it wasnt, this reads to me as terrified and desperate.

the reason being, if you have a LI in act 2 you get the famous bondage scene. coupled up with the letter above makes me think this is a pattern. bhaal can use their feelings against them. he did it with sarevok and orin's mother, orin's mother and orin, etc... it's not as straightforward as 'if you disobey ill kill the one you love'. you will. durge will.

bhaal is testing them in act 2, he revels in chaos, sure, but in the grand scheme of things he doesn't care about isobel. even if you tell scel that you'll kill her you're told that youre too late, you ignored your urges. from durge, bhaal doesn't expect calm calculated murder, he expects blind obedience. failing to receive that his first punishment is to take away something they cherish. there are no half measures, theres no bargaining with a god.

we get so many snippets of information that this has happened before, their foster family being their first victims. theyre made to kill their support system with their own hands, with no one to blame but themselves. they are actually apologising to their father for being fond of gortash because (in my humble opinion) theyre genuinely afraid.

how many times could this have happened, how many nights durge couldve woken up covered in the blood of someone they love until they gave in, became daddys obedient puppet?

durge is groomed for murder. scel says 'you always failed to conduct yourself without me' and given who he is i dont think hes talking about table manners when he says 'conduct'. durge needs 24/7 oversight to set themselves right lest they get tempted by softer things. lest they dare to step away from bhaals grand plan.

durge do have a choice. just as shadowheart had a choice, just as wyll or astarion had a choice. its a choice only in name.

theres no ending besides refusing bhaal that their friends and LI wont die by their hands. the entire lore of bhaalspawn is that theyre meant to conquer the world in his name and slit their own throat a top the mountain of corpses. as cazador aptly put, 'theyre made to be consumed.'

you can pray to bhaal and the narrator says he won't accept [any offering] but the entire world.

durge (and bhaalspawn) do get some sort of euphoria from murder. they crave it like an addict, but bhaalspawn (on prev games) don't constantly have to grapple with these urges as durge does.

now durge is a slightly special case but not in a good way. its implied that theyre not like a regular bhaalspawn, that theyre made by bhaal directly -so to speak-. which is to say, if youre playing a drow, they are bhaals closest approximation of a drow rather than a drow flesh and blood.

thats why theyre fighting tooth and nail against these urges every step of the way, they are literally bhaal himself(in essence). the personality they develop, the person who calls themselves 'tainted' and 'wretched', the character thats making choices throughout the game, theyre the tumour.

theirs is the story of cycle of abuse cranked up to 1000 and it is in parallel to all other origin companions.

[starniolosposts]

invite (1)

part one, part two

pairing: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: the popular frat boy, chris sturniolo, unexpectedly invites you, the shy and quiet girl, to his frat party.

warnings: shy/unpopular reader, confident/frat boy chris (but he’s still sweet), chris defends you 🤩, pretty long and will have a part two which is the final part

notes: SMUT IS IN THE NEXT PART (you could just read the next part for the smut but this one has all the tension leading up to it hehe;) )

not proofread/edited

“hey.”

you practically jump out of your seat from the voice in front of you, interrupting your study time in the silent library. you shrink into yourself in embarrassment at your reaction, and are even more mortified when its chris sturniolo standing in front of you.

chris grins and leans over the table, hair falling into his face as he scans the study page your on. “seems hard. whats your major again?”

you gulp, throat suddenly turning dry. you don’t answer, honestly kind of scared of saying the wrong or humiliating thing to the one boy you’ve been admiring from afar since college started.

he tilts his head and locks eyes with you, “so you don’t really speak, do you? i’ve never heard you talk before.” he observes, and you bit your lip.

“…i do talk.” you finally manage to say, avoiding anymore eye contact.

chris chuckles before pulling out the chair across from you and sitting down.

your heart rate picks up and you pray that he wont be staying for long. not because of him, but because then you have less of a chance of embarrassing yourself in front of him.

“so, whats your major?” he asks again, and he actually seems interested.

“oh, its animal science. i also minor in biology.” you whisper, seeing the librarian glance over at you both. chris obviously doesn’t care if he’s loud, since he responds with his normal volume.

“oh shit, so you’re smart smart.”

you blush and shrug, tapping your pencil on your notebook. “not really.”

chris smirks. “how humble of you. anyway, i have another question. what are you doing this saturday?”

your eyes widen as you glance up at him, stomach tingling with butterflies. why did that sound like he was asking you out? you bit the inside of your cheek in thought. you should study for an upcoming exam… you shake your head, “i don’t have anything on saturday.”

“perfect. i have a frat party that starts at 7 pm, but show up whenever you want.” chris exclaims, seemingly very pleased as he leans back in his chair.

you blink and then feel a sense of dread in your stomach instead of butterflies. “oh—uhm… i don’t really do parties.” you sheepishly mutter. what you didn’t want to admit was how you have never even gone to a party, nor have been invited to one.

chris smiles charmingly as he looks at you, and you feel so exposed and flustered. “i can tell. its alright if you don’t want to go, i just thought it’d invite you. you seem to study to much, your big brain needs a break.” he taps your study book as he tries to act unbothered.

you think for a moment, then blush blossoms your cheeks. “if i go, uhm, will i be able to stick by you then? i know i won’t really know anyone there.”

chris stares at you with an unreadable expression, his jaw squared and his eyes gleam. he finally nods. “of course. you can follow me around.”

you sigh through your nose and nod, the nerves already flowing through you. “okay.”

“you’ll go?”

“yeah, i think.”

saturday comes faster than normal, the anticipation of the frat party buzzing through you, and it even floats around the lectures you have. apparently a lot of people were going and it was going to be a huge party, everyone was looking forward to it.

while people were excited, you were kind of dreading it. what if chris abandons you and you’re left alone in a group of strangers? what if you trip and face-plant and everyone laughs at you? you shake your head, knowing you were overthinking.

you take a deep breath as you look at yourself in the mirror. this is the most you’ve ever dressed up, and you thought you looked okay. you wore a short, sparkly, black dress and your hair was curly down your back. no one had ever seen you with your hair down, so this was a big step. in the back of your mind you knew you were just trying to capture chris’ attention at least a little bit.

gathering up the courage, you grab your phone and make your way across campus and to the frat house. you can hear the music from a mile away and the flashing lights are prominent the more you get closer.

you glance at the time on your phone, 8 pm. you thought it was weird to show up exactly when the party started at 7, so you waited around for a while.

you tried not to think about how skin tight your dress was, or how short it was, or how your makeup looked. you pushed down your anxiety and tried to convince yourself you would have a good night. you walked inside, wincing slightly as the music was now clear and blaring in your ears.

your number one objective was to find chris, and fast. you looked around swiftly, dodging drunk people and catty girls side-eyeing you.

“y/n!”

you spun around and nervously wrung your wrists behind you, staring at chris as he walked up to you. “hi.”

chris’ jaw clenched as his eyes darted all over you. your hair, your face, your body. he blinked, wondering how you were the same person at the library a couple days ago. “you look great.” he finally says.

you smile shyly and look at his outfit. he wears baggy camo pants with a black long sleeve, a chain, and doesn’t wear his signature hat, so his hair is out and fluffy. he looks handsome as always, but you cant say that. “you too.” you meek out.

“i thought you skipped out, i was worried i would have to go to your dorm and drag you here.” he jokes and smiles, gesturing you to follow him.

you laugh softly and nod, following him into the kitchen with less people and muffled music. he grabs two red solo cups and fills both of them with something. he hands you one, then takes a sip of his.

you look at the contents inside the cup suspiciously, hesitate to try it.

chris looks down at you staring into your cup and chuckles. “don’t worry, i figured you don’t drink so its just lemonade.” he reassured, and you sigh in relief as you sip on it.

“thank you.”

“mhm. what made you agree to come?” chris asks suddenly, leaning against the counter, arms crossed with his cup still in his hand.

you gulp nervously, flustered as you stare at him. “can i be honest?” you ask, doing the same thing as him beside him.

he grins down at you and nods, “yeah.”

you fidget with your cup. “i’ve never been to a party, or invited to one. so when you asked i was nervous, but knowing i had you i was okay.” you blurt out, and you mentally slap yourself for saying so much.

chris is silent for a moment, and you want to run away and go back to your dorm, but then he nudges your shoulder with his elbow.

you look up at him and he smiles warmly. “hey, now that we talked and you came to my party, we’re best friends now. no need to be nervous when i’m here.”

you both stare at each other, and you swore he was leaning closer and glancing at your lips. unfortunately, a voice spoke up.

“chris, i love this party! beer pong was so much fun!” a girl strides in, b-lining straight towards him. she then looks at you weirdly, glancing at how close you were standing next to him.

chris nods at her and looks a little irritated, “good, it’s supposed to be fun.”

you awkwardly look down at your aching feet as they continue talking, this was your first time wearing heals for a long period of time.

the girl glances at you and then looks at chris with a look. “so, who’s she?” she asks as if your not there and she can ask you.

chris sighs and puts an arm around your back and his hand on your arm, making your eyes widen as heat filled you and goosebumps rise on your exposed skin. his hands are rough, but they are gentle with you. “this is y/n l/n, shes in our biology lecture. i convinced her to come.” your face feels hot as he says your full name, did you ever even tell him your last name? how did he know?

the girl hums and looks at you with a confused expression, “oh, i don’t remember ever seeing her. anywhere. but alright, i’m tory.” she smiles concededly. you try and smile back and nod at her in acknowledgment, “nice to meet you, tory. i like your dress.” you say. socializing and making friends is a little difficult for you, but you try your hardest. it didn’t seem to work as she looks you up and down and doesn’t say anything.

chris clears his throat and recognizes the tense situation and dislike from tory towards you, “tory, maybe we could ease off of her, yeah?” his eyes narrow at her, and you see his hand gripping onto his cup harder. you feel embarrassed, but at the same time you feel grateful and appreciated by chris, and its nice.

tory stares at chris in shock before scoffing under her breath, “whatever.” she walks away after that, going into the living room where the party is at.

chris finally takes his hand off of your arm, and you both don’t realize it but you think the same thing.

i miss his touch.

i miss touching her.

“…thanks for that.” you mutter, swirling your lemonade in your cup. chris nods and glares in the direction that tory walked off in. “i never liked her.” he explains, “in high school she dated my brother, matt. totally broke his heart and was so mentally draining towards everyone.”

you furrow your brows and frown, now wishing you weren’t nice to her in the first place. “i’m sorry.”

chris shakes his head and smirks down at you, making you slightly flush. “oh, don’t you worry. we got her back. pranked her for years on end and held blackmail against her.”

your eyes widen and then you laugh, an actual belly laugh. chris stares at you and then starts laughing as well. its just easy when it comes to you.

“its so bad, but i love it.” you giggle, then you ask, “you have a brother? does he go here?”

chris is ecstatic and proud, since he can tell your coming out of your shell around him. he likes it… he likes you. “kind of, i’m a triplet. both of them chose different colleges though.”

you tilt your head in shock, “really? thats so cool, are you all identical?”

his heart skips a beat at the sparkle in your eye and the curiosity in your voice. “sure are. they look exactly like me, but we all have our differences.”

you nod, “i understand.”

suddenly a guy shouts into the kitchen, “hey chris! come play a game with us!”

chris looks at you, and you shrug even if your freaking out inside. you liked hanging out and talking with chris, but with a huge group of people? not your thing.

chris scrutinizes you and states, “you don’t want to, i can tell.”

you silently nod but then shrug again, “i’m fine with playing, only if its with you though.” you look away from him to hide your blush.

he grins and nods before pushing off of the counter, setting his cup down. you do the same and closely follow behind him into the living room. the music is low now, and a group of people are in a circle on the ground or sitting in chairs/couches.

chris dabs people up and nods in acknowledgment at others, and you feel like everyone is staring at you as you follow him like a lost puppy. no one says hi to you.

you sit down next to chris on a loveseat, scooting down your dress uncomfortably. chris notices and swiftly gets up, goes to the front door, grabs his jacket off the hook, and then walks back over. you look at him confused until he laid his jacket over your legs and sat back down like he didn’t just do the nicest thing ever for you.

you feel your heart pumping fast and your veins turn hot. the little gesture made your thighs clench underneath the jacket that smelled like his cologne. glancing over at chris, it only makes you more aware of your attraction towards him. his arm is over the back of the loveseat, his legs spread slightly open as he leans back comfortably.

you feel dirty and flustered thinking about him like this, then snap out of it when someone speaks up from the group.

“alright, lets play the classic truth or dare.” a guy grins. everyone agrees and they start going around in a circle, asking random people. some of them do dares, but they aren’t regular dares, they are sexual. there was a three way kiss, stripping, and licking whip cream off of someones stomach.

your lower stomach only got hotter, the undeniable ache between your legs getting stronger. your mind always went back to chris for some reason, wondering what kissing him felt like, or how his tongue would feel licking whip cream off your skin. you shift, and your thankful for the jacket covering your legs since it blocked the view of your thighs clenching.

chris notices though . he always notices the little things about you. believe or not, he had been admiring you from afar as well. he couldn’t help it, he was drawn to you, the quiet girl in the back of the class. whenever he was in lecture, his eyes would drift to you and observe. he knows you bite your lip when your nervous or thinking, and he knows your leg bounces when your anxious. he knows that you secretly laugh at his jokes behind your hand and that you feed the stray cat that roams around campus. yeah, it was safe to say he liked you a lot, and he notices you.

“the girl beside chris.”

your head snaps up and you gulp nervously. its a blonde guy that smirks at you. “y-yeah?”

“truth or dare?”

“uhm, truth?” you say, but its more like a question. you really prayed it wasn’t anything embarrassing.

he thinks for a moment. “whats the worst thing that has happened to you during sex.”

chris clenched his jaw at the thought of you having sex with someone. its a weird thought, thinking of you with someone else other than himself.

your face immediately is red as you look down at chris’ jacket. you pick at the thread on it and clear your throat. “u-uhm… thats a little personal?”

“come on, don’t be a buzzkill!”

chris glared at the guy, “cut it out, clayton. if she doesn’t feel comfortable saying then don’t pressure her.” he glowers slightly, making clayton raise his eyebrows.

“its truth or dare, man. no outs. she has to answer.”

chris furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “i’ve never had sex, so i can’t answer.” your eyes are squeezed shut in embarrassment as you grip onto the jacket for comfort. everyone goes silent and you think this is the moment you want the ground to swallow you whole.

chris blinks at you with wide eyes then his jaw is set and his eyes turn dark. his pants are starting to get tighter than before and his hand clutches onto the back of the loveseat. “fuck.” he hisses out, but he made sure he was quiet.

“wait, so you’re a virgin in college? have you even had your first kiss?” tory asks, crossing her arms in amusement. she was milking your humiliation for all its worth.

you tilt your head down and dont answer, which makes her laugh slightly. “wow, so your really inexperienced. how are you even here at this party?”

“tory, stop. i’m serious. i still have those screenshots in my hard drive.” chris speaks up and threatens, looking her straight in the eyes. it makes you peak your eyes open to look over at him. he smiled reassuringly at you, and it makes you feel a lot better, and a lot more needy.

“…lets just move on.” a random girl says, chuckling nervously.

the game continues, and chris lowers his voice to speak to you with no one listening. “are you okay? im sorry that was pressured out of you, ill kill clayton.”

you shake your head, “its fine.” you whisper.

“no, its not. especially with what tory said.” he grunts out then sighs. “i’m sorry.”

you hesitate, but scoot closer to him and smile gently. “its alright. thank you for defending me, not a lot of people do.” you hadn’t meant for it to come out so sad and lonely sounding.

chris bites his lip before nodding, “yeah, of course.” he breaths out.

your eyes dart to his, and you catch a glimpse of desire you had been looking for. your chest heaves slightly harder, your stomach burns, and your eyes glance to his lips.

“…follow me.” he abruptly stands and holds out his hand for you. you knew what would happen if you took his hand and followed him, but you wanted it too happen. you’ve never felt such an easy and instant connection as you have with him, so you don’t hesitate to grab his hand and leave his jacket behind.

some people stare in shock as he takes you up the stairs, but you can only stare at him.

chris quickly takes you to a bedroom and closed/locks the door behind the both of you. he backs you into the wall, hands coming up to slowly grip onto your hips. you nervously look up at him, not knowing what to say or do. you’ve never been touched like this by someone you liked, and it was building up a fire in you that burned your core. the desire for him was too much, you wanted him now.

he gazes down at you with dark eyes. “i’m so glad you came to this party.” he sighs out, his hands slithering around to rest on your lower back, sinfully close to your ass.

your breathing heavily, your hands clenching onto his biceps as you lean into his touch. “me too.” you whisper, your head tilted back onto the wall to look up at him.

it silent for a moment, letting you feel his hands travel over your dress and to your waist. "i really like you, you know?" he whispers, and for the first time you see him slightly bashful but still confident, and your stomach tingles in the best way.

your heart jumps to your throat at his confession and your legs tremble, a shaky but content smile reaches your lips, "really?"

chris nods slightly before leaning into your neck and lowly muttering into your skin, "and i really want to fuck you, too." his lips come into contact with your neck, pressing feather light kisses onto your sensitive spots. he moved closer to you, caging you against the wall.

your heavy gasps and panting mixed together, and the bedroom got hotter by the second. then, he hiked your dress up to your hips and traced his fingertips on the lace of your panties, getting closer and closer to where you were desperate for him.

you gasped and clung onto him, whimpering as his fingers lightly brushed your clothed clit, but then teasingly moved back to tracing the edge of your panties. “chris…”

“hm? what is it, baby?” chris smirked into your neck, his tone teasing and amused. he loved your needy little gasp and wanton whimpers flowing from your lips. his cock was pressing against his jeans at how sensitive you were, knowing that you were this way because he was the first to ever touch you like this.

“i’m nervous.” you murmur, shivering as hands go to your hips to softly grip them. you look up at him and bite your lip.

chris glances at your plump, wet lips and wishes he could ravish them. but then he reminds himself that he has to go slow and teach you some things. “no need to be nervous, i’m right here.” his thumbs massage right beneath your lace on your hips.

you gulp and look to the side, contemplating what you were about to do. “…are you just saying all of this so you can have sex with me?” you blurt out your insecure thoughts, and frown at the silence heavy in the air. did you ruin the mood?

“hey, look at me.” chris demands gently, hooking your chin and making you lock eyes with him. “i never say anything i don’t mean. i know we only met a couple days ago, but i’ve always noticed you.”

your face flushes even more than it already was, your hands hesitantly running up his stomach to his chest. “i noticed you too.” you whisper. he shivers at your touch and words before sighing contently, “i know, i see you staring.” he teases, chuckling as you look away in embarrassment once again.

“on a serious note, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. but if you want to continue, i wanna set a rule first.”

your eyes dart to him, searching for any sign on him lying about anything. there is none, only lust and fondness in his blue eyes as he looks at you. you nod, “alright, what is the rule?” you ask curiously, getting more bold and sliding your hands up his shoulders and around to his nape. you play with his hair slightly and see that he holds back a groan, which you save for later use.

“if you say yes, you’re mine.” his tone is serious and low, it makes your thighs clench and the burning in your stomach feelings like molten. “no dating, fucking, or seeing other guys. we would be exclusively only seeing each other, i don’t just do random hookups on a saturday night.”

you softly smile and nod, “me neither, obviously.” you mutter with slight embarrassment. he laughs and grins at you, “so, do you want to continue, baby?” he asks teasingly, leaning down closer to your lips.

you lick your lips and nod shyly, “yeah. i really do.”

chris hums and one of his rough hands travels to the top of your panties. his fingertips dip into the fabric, trailing across your lower stomach slowly. his eyes stare into yours, savoring your reactions and small noises.

your pussy clenched as his lips suddenly grazed your ear and he lowly whispered, “do you want my fingers, y/n?”

you whine shamelessly and nod, too worked up from a simple whisper and some light touching.

“yeah? then beg.”

holy fuck.

to be continued with actual smut… sorry its so long! i cant help but like the tension leading up to it

[icallhimjoey]

Are you still taking requests?

If yes, I’d love to read about pure domestic bliss. Peak Soft!Joey! Things he does for us that make us go all speechless and love him even more. Little things like running us a bath when he senses we had a shit day, takes care of us when we’re home with a cold…things LIKE THAT!

I could really use that rn. <3

um, so, hyper independent reader not used to someone wanting to take care of us in the smallest of ways???? goooooooot it got it got it Wordcount: 3.3K

---

For You

You rarely asked for help.

Didn't need any.

Joe thought hard, but couldn't remember you ever asking him for anything. Or anyone else for that matter. You didn't ask for help in big ways, but also didn't ask for help in any of the small, little ways.

You did things yourself. Didn't bother people and, even though things took time and effort, and were sometimes a real bitch to figure out by yourself, you always did. Eventually.

Sorted through whatever on your own, because that's how you'd always done it. How your childhood had shaped you. What you'd gotten used to. Who you'd become as a person.

You took care of, well, everything. Were organised in ways Joe couldn't even really phantom a person being organised.

"What do you mean you just fixed my washing machine yourself?"

"Was just the little motor inside, I opened it up and it needed a little part replaced."

"What the..."

"Was easy. I watched some tutorial on how to–" you stopped, had to laugh at the face of shocked disbelief and somehow sheer annoyance he made and finished, "There's tutorials for fucking everything online, it really wasn't that hard."

Yea, Joe wasn't so sure.

"All right then, I guess I'll go and cancel the order I placed for a new one."

Because he would have never even thought of opening whatever panel on the back of whatever machine to have a look inside. To look up what he'd be looking at, and to get a screwdriver out to fiddle around inside.

It was out with the old in the the new far to easily with Joe.

Didn't go like that with you.

You took care of shit yourself. Were the person that people would come to for help. Because that's what you did. Took care of your own shit and helped others with theirs.

It took some actual getting used to for Joe.

Girls had never been like that before with him.

They'd ask for shit, would whine at him in a soft baby voice until he'd do whatever they'd asked. Sometimes it'd be cute, but it could be annoying as fuck too. He'd always cave, however, and it would somehow genuinely increase his well-being. To make someone else happy by doing a small task they asked of him. Fed his ego a bit. Upped the self-esteem a little.

And it wasn't that you didn't accept help when it was offered to you.

Not at all.

You just never asked.

It took weeks for Joe to learn that he'd have to figure out for himself what he could do to help. To take care of you sometimes.

It was why sometimes, when you'd be sat doing whatever paperwork needed doing, or answering whatever e-mails needed answering, Joe would silently wander around your flat.

Looking for things maybe he could do.

Things that maybe you'd left for a bit.

Joe wasn't big on cleaning.

Or organising.

But he could pick up clothes that were left discarded on the bedroom floor. And he could shove whatever products were left out in the bathroom into a drawer. Could open the dishwasher, dishes still dirty, but stacked all wrong, not leaving enough room for the rest that were left on the counter still. He could sort that out for you, no problem.

You always thanked him with a squeeze in his side, or soft kisses to smiley cheeks. Made Joe blush a little, knowing he'd found a thing he could do to help, to ease your load and make you happy.

Until one sort of weird Friday afternoon. It had just gone noon, and Joe received a weird text.

"quick q, did you say you had work today?"

Just things he had to read.

"they wont let me leave on my own"

What the fuck?

"Hey, what's going on? What do you mean they won't let you leave on your own?" Joe decided he needed immediate answers, and called in response to your texts.

"I'm fine," was the first thing out of your mouth, quickly followed by, "Don't worry. If you don't have the time, I can see if–"

"Answer my question, please." Joe cut you off.

"I... I don't know, I keep feeling– I'm dizzy. I lost my balance and fell when my foot got stuck on a threshold– I'm not hurt," you were quick to assure, not wanting to worry Joe.

"Did you faint?" Joe was already on his way out the door.

"No, I'm not lightheaded or anything. Just feel like I'm gonna be sick, and like, my eyes won't stay still. It's more annoying than anything else. Mary says I probably haven't slept enough, or something."

You sounded like it too. All annoyed. Frustrated by the way your body was letting you down in the middle of a work day and now had to ask someone to do something for you.

Had to ask your boyfriend to come pick you up.

Like that was the end of the world, somehow.

"All right, I'm out the door." Joe said, coat billowing behind him as his legs rushed him down the street. "Do one thing for me, yea? Don't fucking move."

Not like you could. Moving your head made you want to throw up. Maybe you just hadn't had enough water and were a bit dehydrated. Or a lot hydrated. You didn't know, but thought having water would be a good idea anyway.

You had little sips in the reception area of the office until Joe arrived.

"Hey," 

"You all right?" Joe crouched down in front of you, one hand on your shoulder, then on your cheek. He ducked his head to look you in the eye.

“Yea fine. Just dizzy when I stand. Or move. That’s all.” 

“She hurt her wrist,” Mary said loudly as she walked over.

You did a quick Joe, Mary - Mary, Joe, introducing them to each other. Joe stood up straight and they shook hands, exchanged polite smiles, and then turned their worried gazes back onto you.

“It’s fine, nothing serious,” you gave your hand a twist and turn to showcase how fine you were. When you’d suddenly lost balance, you’d braced yourself with your one free hand. It would maybe take a day or two for it to feel normal again, it had just taken a blow. 

"It'll sort itself out."

"Are you accompanying her the whole way home?"

"Yea, took the tube here, but," Joe looked at you whilst he fished his phone from his pocket. Unlocked it with his face and swiped to find the Uber app.

"We're getting an Uber back." 

Good. Yes.

You were glad.

You would probably feel just as sick in a car, but the hassle of escalators, tunnels, stairs, more tunnels, more stairs, the hot air but the cold winds, and just, other people... even just thinking of the whole process, of public transport, made black and white spots creep up behind your eyes.

Mary seemed glad too, told you to get some actual rest, to take it easy and to feel better soon as Joe helped you onto your feet and guided you out of the building.

You had to lean into him heavily, nausea gripping you by the throat as you walked down to where Joe said you'd be picked up in a minute.

Focussing strongly on putting one foot in front of the other and not moving your head around too much, your mind echoed left, right, left, right, left, right. You felt Joe's grip strengthen around your waist as the world kept pulling you to the side.

"Jesus, do we need to go to A&E?"

This wasn't the time for jokes. You were busy trying to generally survive. The lack of balance, the world spinning and tilting, was disorienting and didn't leave room for humour.

"Have someone look you over?"

Joe wasn't joking, though.

"No," you swallowed. A mistake. "I just need to lie down and be still."

Joe helped you slide into the car, then used his fingers on your jaw to tip your head back against the headrest. Held a palm over your forehead a second, making sure it stayed in place before he carefully got you into your seatbelt and shut the door as softly as he could.

Sitting still like this, it was okay. Head back, sat up right, no weird smells.

This was fine.

You told the driver not to worry. Lied and promised him you didn't feel sick, just dizzy, and prayed you wouldn't actually throw up.

Joe rounded to the other side and slid down the seat to be right beside you. Sat in the middle seat, and after doing up his own seatbelt, attention was back with you.

An arm pushed through behind your neck, curled around your shoulder as you got pulled in.

Resting your head on Joe's shoulder wasn't any better than having it upright and tipped back, but Joe used a large palm that covered most of your scalp and then softly scratched fingers into your hair.

That was better.

You closed your eyes when the car pulled onto the road.

Having the actual world move fucked you up way more than you thought it might do.

The light that moved as you drove still filtered through enough, so you turned your head and hid your face against Joe's arm. Found darkness and peace there, and took measured breaths. Tried to ignore how your brain felt like a carousel. Could still taste the coffee you had about an hour earlier.

"Just crossed the river," Joe softly spoke near your ear.

He was taking you home.

"Five more minutes."

When you arrived, Joe wouldn't let you get out of the car by yourself. Said, "Hang on, wait here," and rushed out to jog around where he opened your door. Then he turned, and crouched down. Got down on one knee, and held out his arms behind him to guide.

"Joe, I can walk,"

You'd never ask to be carried.

"This feels safer. Come on."

But Joe insisted, and so you slid from the backseat right onto Joe's back. Slung arms around his neck and rested your head on his shoulder. Closed your eyes again, which didn't really help the nausea, but it felt nice to pretend you weren't really there.

Joe walked with bent legs, never fully straightening his knees, and you got the smoothest piggyback ride you'd ever had, right into your flat.

Right into your bedroom, where...

"Oh, fuck,"

You looked up, peeked over Joe's shoulder and, you remembered as you saw it.

You'd stripped your bed that morning, threw all sheets and covers into the wash and had planned to make the bed later, when you'd get back after work. Would use the other set that you didn't like the feel of as much, but which looked nicer.

"Okay, sofa." Joe turned on his heel, spun too quick, and made you groan with discomfort.

"Sorry, sorry," Joe stilled completely. Waited a couple seconds. Said sorry again and then walked you over into your living room where he carefully lowered himself and let you slide onto your sofa.

"How are we doing?" Joe checked in, went to close the curtains to get the place as dark as it possibly could in the middle of the day.

"Just need to sleep it off, I think," you said, trying to control your breathing as you bent over slowly to take off your shoes.

Your hands got moved aside by Joe, who moved to sit down in front of you on his knees.

"Sit back,"

And so you did. Inhaled deeply. Exhaled slowly. Accepted that the room was just going to be spinning for a while, nothing you could do to make it stop.

Joe took off your shoes and gave both socked feet a rub before coaxing you to lay back.

Throw pillows got moved into place, a blanket got draped over you, and Joe felt something pang inside of his chest at the sight of you laying flat on your back like this.

You were a side sleeper.

Would always curl up into a ball, would pull your knees up all high that would get Joe in the back some nights. Most nights. Joe always had to turn around and move one of your legs to hook over his hip to omit the uncomfortable press of boney knees into his spine.

Joe had never seen you try to fall asleep on your back before.

"Need anything else?" Joe whispered, still hovering over you, now toeing off his own shoes.

Not like you were going to ask, were you?

If Joe wanted to take care, he'd have to ask you for what you needed.

You hummed, said, "Nothing," slung an arm over your eyes and then followed up with, "Quiet.".

All right.

Joe could be quiet.

It didn't take you long to fall asleep at all, thank fuck.

For a second, Joe thought of going back home. Leaving you to get some rest, ensure your place would actually be quiet. But then he thought of your bed, and decided, might as well make it.

Joe found a set of sheets, but knew it was the one you found a little scratchy. Then he found your washing, transferred it all into the dryer as silently as he could and then thought, yea might as well, when he saw you'd left the bathroom messy.

Joe tidied up.

Decided halfway through he could also cook later. Take on dinner.

What else would he appreciate someone doing if he couldn't move without holding onto a wall?

Lots of things.

He was going to do them all.

Joe moved around with intention, shuffled on his socks, did everything as quietly as he could. Still closed cupboards too loudly, and made himself wince several times. He would freeze and would listen if he could hear you stir, if he'd disturbed you.

Not a peep from you. Not once.

Good.

Joe found the fridge empty, then grabbed your reusable shopping bag and your keys. Would only be a minute.

Downstairs, he checked your mail, opened your little metal post box and found a slip for a delivery that you'd missed, for a parcel that needed picking up. Decided to do that too, because, why not.

When Joe got back and carefully went to check if you were asleep still, he saw that you'd curled up with both your knees pressed into the back of the sofa. Couldn't help but smile to himself.

Nearly three hours later, you jolted awake. Took a look around the room, frowning, squinty eyes, and tried to figure out what woke you up. Why you were on the sofa again. What day it was.

You could hear the oven close in the kitchen, and let your head drop back down onto the soft pillows from the sofa.

You remembered.

And you felt... better. Sort of... just fine. You noticed gravity was pulling at you just right again. Huge difference compared to before, when it got you from all different sorts of angles.

Shaking your head side to side, everything felt solid. Steady. And you were really fucking hungry.

"Joe?" you called, and had to cough right after.

"You're up!" Joe stepped into view, drying his hands on a tea towel and he... Joe looked windswept. Untamed. Disheveled and tousled, face all flushed. All smiley and excited looking.

"How are you feeling?"

The opposite of how Joe looked, but, fine none the less.

"Better," you smiled through squinty eyes.

"Yea? No longer dizzy?"

"I don't think so," you shook your head once more, to check. Felt fine.

"Feel sick?"

"No... I'm hungry."

"Yea?"

"Yea." you looked around, still a little dazed and, what was that smell?

"Good, dinner's in the oven." Joe made his way over, and took a moment to grin at you. Leant down and just grinned at you. You didn't know what was so funny, but Joe made you laugh anyway.

You still felt a little shaky when Joe kissed you. Small pecks. Then a long one. Another grin, followed by a suspicious frown from you, and then, more kisses.

"What?" you asked when Joe wouldn't stop smiling.

"Nothing. Just glad that you're okay. How's your wrist?"

You rotated it. Gave it a little shake.

"Bit sore, but not bad, thanks. And thank you for coming to get me from work, I really couldn't have– I don't know what happened, do people get their balance affected from lack of sleep, do you know?"

"Yea, I googled, and apparently, you can. So that could be it, but it also could be a million other things." Joe shrugged.

Hmm. All right. Well, at least you felt better now. Nausea gone. Vision no longer swimming.

"Want to take a bath?" Joe suggested, and you groaned at the suggestion.

"Yes,"

"Okay, be careful, the water was practically boiling when I filled it fifteen minutes ago,"

You gasped softly, immediately pouted.

"You... you already filled the tub?"

Joe's eyes twinkled.

"Babe, I did so much," he exclaimed all proud, and started going down the list.

Joe had done a massive food shop, picked up a parcel from the post office, cleared out the dishwasher, tidied the bathroom, folded the laundry and put it all of it away, made dinner, made the bed–

Joe had to stop when he saw your eyes blinking rapidly, eyelashes wet. You seemed overwhelmed, a bit.

"Are you..."

A sob wrecked from your throat and you immediately laughed, because you were well aware you were being silly.

"You're crying?" Joe asked, smiling, already pulling you in so you could hide your face into his chest.

"You didn't have to–"

"Stop, I know I don't have to. I wanted to. Believe it or not, sometimes people enjoy doing things for you."

People usually loved it when you did things for them, but, you loved doing things for other people, so you understood.

"You made the bed?"

You knew Joe fucking hated making the bed.

"Yea, used the nice sheets,"

"I put the others in the wash this morning–"

"No," Joe corrected. "I put those in the dryer and used those," Joe pulled back, tilted his head down enough to catch your expression. "The other ones are– they don't feel great, right?"

Joe saw your face scrunch up again and quickly tucked you back under his chin.

"Maybe just get rid of those all together,"

"They were an expensive–"

"I'll get rid of them." Joe said, knowing you probably never would yourself.

Unbelievable.

You didn't deserve Joe.

Joe would disagree and fight you on that, so you didn't say that shit out loud.

Joe held you for a bit longer, his affection pouring over you until it was dripping down the sofa and leaving puddles on the floor.

"Bath's getting cold," Joe eventually murmured into your hair.

"Thank you," you managed to croak out as you accepted the kisses Joe pressed to your forehead before he helped you up from the sofa.

He held wary arms out, ready to catch you if it turned out that standing up was still a task too tricky, but you seemed steady enough. Could walk towards the door without going sideways.

"You know what?" he said, hand on the small of your back, guiding you across the room.

"Get in the bath, I'll join you in a sec,"

You caught his little smirk as he looked at you over his shoulder, stepping closer towards the kitchen.

"With dinner." Joe finished, and, fuck off. That sounded like the best fucking idea you'd ever heard.

"Hey," you said, making Joe stop, and for some reason, you caught a flicker of worry in his eyes before they softened as you smiled.

"Thank you," you said again, this time more earnest than you'd done before.

Joe needed to know you were grateful.

"Anything," Joe started, squeezed his eyes shut tightly to bring his point across properly.

"Anything for you."

the end

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @notverywise, @paola-carter, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[traffytaffy]

Eustass Kidd with a toddler daughter

I actually wrote this a few months ago and posted it but i didn’t think anyone liked it so i deleted it. But here it is again. So if you saw it the first time, im sorry😭

Daughter series:

Kid with a baby daughter

Law with a daughter

Requests are open!

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

He doesnt know how to watch his language around her.

“Kid! Stop cussing around her!”

“My child isn’t weak! She can handle a few words! It wont kill her!”

He says the kid can do whatever she wants but as soon as shes climbing on something or getting near the railing he’s either running towards her and scooping her up or yelling at the crew to grab his daughter…then blaming them for the fact she even got close.

If she falls randomly? He’ll laugh. “How the fuck did you fall?”

If she randomly throws up? “You cant handle food?”

If she starts crying? “What the hell is wrong with you now?”

Hes the one that styles her hair. And it surprised his s/o cause you would think that he puts her hair in a mohawk or something (he definitely does it though) but he actually does little ponytails and pig tails and other cute styles with his hair gel slicking it back.

As for her style? Hes a sucker in seeing his daughter in fashion. Those cute lil dresses and tutus and bows. But he also dresses her in outfits that are similar to his. If his baby isn’t the best dressed on the ship then what the hell is he doing?

No one needs to worry about buying toys for the lil girl. Anything she wants? Name it. He’ll make it.

For bedtime, she begs him to read a story. He’ll say “Hell no”. But after enough begging and teary eyes, he gives in. She quickly gets comfortable in his lap and he’ll start reading the story. There will be alot of “What a dumbass” to one of the characters or “you sure you like this story?”

He’ll ultimately get mad at the story for how “stupid” it is and go “Let me tell you the story about-“ and tell her a story about his adventures (leaving out the very graphic details) and his daughter getting all excited and intrigued made him feel proud of himself.

No one can find Kid after this. Why? Cause he’ll fall asleep with his daughter and hold her protectively like its the most important mission in the world.

[lelengerine]

I'm down bad for mark+ celebrities au 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

thinking 'bout you

pairing | idol!mark x idol!reader

genre | celebrity co-hosts au (if that’s a thing), a lot of fluff and comforting, mark addressed reader as dude once

wc | 0.6k

notes | thank u sm for requesting on my drabble event hehe <33 i hope you enjoy reading this and hopefully its along the lines of what you wanted !! likes, rbs, and feedback are highly appreciated :D

this is part of my drabble req event here!

m.list

as one of the hosts for the year-end awards event, you are currently residing backstage in a location grander than any you have ever seen. and though the outfit assigned to you looks absolutely pristine, it does little in actually giving you comfort to last the entire night. 

in your hands are cue cards you’ve been practicing nonstop for the past few days, now feeling anxious as the time ticks closer to the actual event. this was a ceremony broadcasted nation-wide and you didn’t wish to be deadweight your co-host needed to pick up.

“y/n, you ready?” a voice abruptly brings you out of your thoughts, turning towards its direction to find mark calmly approaching you. he was your chosen co-host for the event with a few years more experience than you. this gave you all the more reason to hate the idea of messing up and becoming a fool in front of someone like him. “hey… are you good?”

“hm? yeah, i’m fine. just a little nervous, but i won’t let you down!” your determination is oddly enough endearing to him, a lopsided smile now grazing his lips. 

“i know you wont, y/n.” he answers back with a soft chuckle, the sound of it easing the tensions within you. “come on now, you were chosen as a host for a reason.” he adds, nudging your shoulder lightly.

“thank you for the flattery, but if i may ask, how do you look so relaxed all the time? i wish i were like you.” you admit with a sheepish expression, and he looks at you a little dumbfounded. 

“me?” he points at himself almost animatedly, eyes widening. “oh dude, if you knew what’s going on inside my head right now- i think you’d say otherwise.”

he puts it lightheartedly, but deep down, you understand he’s rather in the same predicament as you, trying to find a form of relief from the panic before the event actually began. and for some reason, that revelation calmed you down more than anything has — you weren’t alone in this. he’s your co-host after all.

“then that makes both of us.” you state with the hopes of providing him that same comfort, and he seems to acknowledge the meaning behind your words. “it does.”

“you know,” he starts, “i’ve heard that thinking about someone you like really helps the stage fright. i used to only think of my parents before going up on stage, but maybe i’ll change it up today and think of someone else.” 

you feel a prickle of heat up your cheeks, thoughts in your head running the idea that he could be talking about you, but your logical self told you that could only be utter nonsense. 

“you’ll change it up today…?” you repeat slowly, wanting clarification on his words. “does that mindset really work?”

“it does if you believe in it enough? does that sound silly?” he cranes his head a little to the side, shyly rubbing his nape.

you immediately shut down his worries, shaking your head. “not at all! i’ll try it if you say it works. i just don’t know if i have anyone in mind yet.” with that answer, he beams again, opening his mouth to reply but one of the staff members manages to speak before he gets to utter a single word.

“y/n, mark, it’s time to head up. please make sure you bring your cue cards.” they instruct, now waiting on you both to lead you up the stage.

“oh- well then, shall we?” he politely offers his arm out for you to hold, one you take graciously.

“we shall.” you answer with a grin, knowing you’d take mark’s advice to think of a person you like as a way to calm your nerves, and that person might just be him.

[inktailsaystuff]

Kaveh and Alhaitham Relationship Headcanons~

Tw: none

Pre-relationship~

Alhaitham was the #1 Kavetham denier

Kaveh was aware of his feelings and just kinda moped about it

Poor man thought Alhaitham didn't like him back so he would just be all sad

Alhaitham was in denial

He didn't even realize that he had been crushing on Kaveh for the longest time

He just thought that he had grown attached

Kaveh brings Alhaitham food whenever he goes out (THIS AINT A HEADCANON THIS IS CANON AND WE ALL KNOW IT)

Alhaitham's face is on like every page of Kaveh’s sketchbook

They bicker a lot but the moment Alhaitham thinks he's genuinely hurting Kaveh he gets all apologetic and switches topics

Because Alhaitham doesn't talk to people a lot Kaveh didn't really get jealous when someone flirted with Alhaitham

BUT ALHAITHAM- 

Naur this man was so down bad without even knowing it if someone got too “close” with Kaveh he would try to one-up whoever the offending person's intelligence

Everyone but Alhaitham can see how Kaveh is desperately pining after him

No one can see Alhaitham pining after Kaveh other than Nahida 

They just think it is an L for Kaveh and many people tell him to move on

(Kaveh does not move on)

When Kaveh gets too drunk and starts getting sad Alhaitham will “rEluCtanTly” console him.

Cyno and Tighnari have a bet on who will confess first because Tighnari heard with his massive ears Alhaitham consoling Kaveh while he was blackout drunk

Eventually Nahida steps in, after watching Alhaitham read every book in the library to try and figure out what his feelings are

Alhaitham denies the claims, and Nahida just is like: You gay. 

Kaveh confesses first and has this whole rant where he's like “I know you don't feel the same way and you can kick me out of your house.” 

Alhiatham just went “I like you too.” he won at life and was having an internal party

Cue awkward staring 

Alhaitham just kinda asked if Kaveh wanted to kiss and they did 

Dendro gays are official :D

Relationship~

They have separate rooms but despite that, Kaveh likes sleeping in Alhaitham's room since he likes being close to him

Alhaitham likes having Kaveh’s presence nearby

Alhaitham actually struggles to sleep if he can't feel Kaveh’s presence nearby 

When they get into an argument Alhaitham will steal Kaveh’s keys to force Kaveh to talk to him

Despite his appearance, Alhaitham requires at least one physical contact a day with Kaveh, aka buff abs man needs a kiss to function 

Alhaitham does not want Kaveh to move out, one time Kaveh mentioned it, and Alhaitham just flat-out said you're not leaving. 

Alhaitham doesn't do much physical contact but he just likes having Kaveh near him, like as long as Kaveh is within arms reach he is happy

They will have dates where Alhiatham reads and Kaveh draws him

Alhiatham fills Kaveh’s sketchbook more than ever 

Alhaitham likes looking at the drawings Kaveh made

Kaveh constantly gets hit on by other men because of how feminine he looks and Alhaitham just kinda glares

He wont say anything to get people to back off, he’ll just glare or move closer to Kaveh

Alhaitham is so soft for Kaveh its like wild and at the same time hes the biggest jerk to Kaveh

One of their love language is bickering, 

No you can't change my mind

They will nitpick each other's tastes but never go as far as to actually hurt each other's feelings

When Kaveh cries Alhaitham just throws all his brain cells out the window, now he is just fussing over Kaveh, holding him and whispering reassurances his brain turns to mush and the only thought is to make Kaveh feel better

If anyone other than Kaveh knew about this he would kill himself he never wants this to get out

Inktail’s Dendro bonus of a wedding plan~

They both get each other rings, well Kaveh makes his for Alhaitham, and Alhaitham just buys one.

Kaveh took on like a million commissions so he could get the materials for the ring

He has an entire sketchbook dedicated to ring designs

Alhaitham just gets a simple gold ring with their names engraved (it costs more mora than the rent)

Alhaitham proposes first and after calming down a Kaveh crying from joy Alhiatham receives his ring. 

While it is somewhat bedazzled and has a pair of jewels Alhiatham still wears it since Kaveh gave it to him  

Kaveh got a green jewel that matched Alhaitham’s boob gem 

Kaveh cried at their wedding, 

Alhaitham was internally combusting at their wedding

Nahida was the officiator

Collei was the flower girl

And Scaramouche was the makeup artist

[leilani-lily]

~Oh Deer~ (Chapter 5)

I'll admit, I had this finished a while ago, but couldn't post until now. I have a confession to make... my long term boyfriend of 6 years split with me a couple days ago. And it's been... hard, to say the least. I'm really hoping this wont deter me from continuing to write (especially since this story is kinda romantic, but also isn't? There's deep feelings involved xD) I hope maybe writing can maybe help me as it serves as a distraction? I honestly don't know... All I can ask for is patience as I deal with this. If I find I need a break I'll be sure to let you guys know. But I guess for now, please keep me in your thoughts if you can. Or if anyone wants to swap stories I'm more than happy to share. ꨄ But ok. Enough sadness. This chapter was a joy to write before all the bs happened. I hope it can make you smile! And as always, please feel free to comment your thoughts! SYNOPSIS: AroAce! Alastor x Chef!Singer! Reader. You settle into hotel life, and whip up Alastor's fave dish! But some drama ensues when you get a little too friendly with a certain Spider Demon~ Word Count: 4.4 K Chapter under the cut! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You had developed quite a routine here during your time at the hotel, and you certainly found your days a lot busier than you had intended.

Your morning coffee with Alastor that usually blended into breakfast, then joining him in his tower for his broadcasts. He’d always pour two glasses of rye whisky and sit with you, asking for your thoughts afterwards. You’d discuss what you liked and didn’t like, and were surprised to learn he took criticism well (other than the occasional eye twitch). You’d bounce off new topics for future shows together before wrapping up and heading back down to the kitchen for the lunch rush.

After lunch was usually when Charlie would want to round everybody up. Either discussing how to make the hotel more liveable, how to recruit more sinners, or various exercises to improve everyone’s character. Sometimes these meetings were very boring and you’d have to pinch yourself constantly to stay awake. But for the most part they were fun, and you found yourself actually enjoying spending time with everyone. Especially goofing around with Angel and Husk, which usually resulted in Vaggie snapping at you all as you choke back laughter. Sometimes you would catch Alastor watching you with an unreadable expression, but you didn’t think anything of it. 

When that would wrap up, it was time to whip up dinner. You managed to figure out everyone’s favourite foods, and every Friday you decided you’d rotate through and make someone’s special  dish for them. Everyone enjoyed Friday dinners, always trying to guess what everyone liked, make bets on who was next, and were especially pleased if it was their night. It wasn’t much, but their praise always made you secretly feel warm and bubbly inside. 

Finally, after cleaning everything up and ending your shift, you’d have some spare time. Depending on how the day went, you would either read and have a quiet night to yourself, or just completely pass out straight away. 

Before you knew it, a month had flown before your eyes; bringing you into the present.

You knew you had no reason to be so nervous. Angel had loved his lasagna dish last week, and previously Charlie loved the pizza you had made (even if others had picked off the pineapple in disgust). You had proven you were a good chef since working here. But this Friday meal in particular… this one was different. It was Alastor’s. Your closest friend. And you knew just how important this particular meal was. It wasn’t just a dish, it was a memory. A way to remember his mother, and you had learned very quickly just how much she meant to him. 

Your heart was fluttering nervously as you put the jambalaya out on the large dining table. No one was there yet, but you could hear the chitter of excited demons coming closer to you, so you knew they were on their way. You always tried to make Friday’s dinner special, it was the one meal where you all sat and ate together. Kind of like a little family. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, your heart fluttering warmly at the thought. You went back to the kitchen to grab the cheddar biscuits, your mind wandering back to Alastor. You shouldn't be overthinking this, it’s just a stupid dinner. Did his opinion really matter that much to you?

You re-enter the dining room, and your eyes immediately locked with the demon in question. Alastor’s smile seemed to brighten the moment he saw you, but his smile only made your hands sweaty.

…… Yes, yes his opinion really did matter that much. You really wanted to make a good impression. 

“Ooooh and ya baked fresh biscuits??” Angel had zipped up beside you, eyeing the plate of goodies in your hands, “ya really know how ta spoil a demon Baby Cakes!” His fingers danced over a biscuit, causing you to snap out of your hold with Alastor and give Angel a quick slap on the wrist. He zipped his hand away in mock horror, making you snort a moment.

“You know the rules; no eating ‘till everyone’s here,” You scold him, but you can’t help but smile; you could never really be angry with him. Angel groaned dramatically, hugging himself with his four arms.

“You’re a cruel mistress y/n; makin’ a cutie like me practically starve to death! Jus’ look at me! I’m witherin’ away!” he leans up against you, arching his back as his full weight pressed on you. You let out a single laugh as you tried to maintain your hold on the plate and not fall over. He continued to groan weakly as his one arm grasped the air above him and another flopped over his eyes. 

Wow. Someone give this guy an award. No wonder he was in show business. 

You laugh again at the dramatics and roll your eyes. Finally, you sighed and grabbed a biscuit, offering it to the Spider Demon. Angel peeked over and immediately lit up, grabbed it eagerly before standing up straight, miraculously recovering from his ‘near death’. He took a deep whiff of the warm bread before smiling back at you. 

“Yarra real doll toots~” he gives you a flirty wink to which you shake your head in amusement. Always the charmer this one. 

“Yeah yeah, well, just don’t tell the others. Or else they might think you’re my favourite~!” You swing your hips to him and give him a playful hip bump, winking right back. He laughed as the nudge pushed him to the side, using the momentum to walk to his seat. But as he sauntered away, he looked back and grinned mischievously.

“Well maybe they should~!” he called back, doing a little suggestive shoulder shimmy and wiggling his eyebrows. You couldn’t help your snort. Cheeky thing. 

You knew it was all in good fun; teasing and play-flirting had become your thing. He was like the gal-pal you had never had since coming to Hell, and you could tell he was happy to have a girlie here at the hotel. You knew his real bestie was some demon named Cherri (which he INSISTED you all had to go out one night), but having another chica just a couple rooms down from his own was fun and convenient. And you were happy to be that friend for him if it meant slumber parties and beauty routines. 

You felt someone’s eyes on you, and you snapped out of your bubbly thoughts. Alastor was standing in the same spot he was before, not having moved an inch. He was still smiling, but this time it felt a little more strained. More forced. And his eye twitched ever so slightly. You also noticed his grip tight around his microphone. He caught you looking at him and immediately turned away, beginning to walk back to his seat with an unreadable expression. 

… That was weird. 

Before you could even begin to process, the rest of the gang entered the room. They all gave you a greeting in their own quirky ways as they arrived and made their way to their seats. Angel shoved the rest of the biscuit into his mouth to hide any evidence and happily trotted over to Husk. You smiled happily at the arrival of your comrades and set the tray of bread down on the table. Everyone looked at the spread before them and chittered excitedly, impressed with the effort you had put into tonight’s dinner. 

As everyone sat down, you quickly made your way to your seat beside Angel. Before sitting down, you cleared your throat a moment to get everyone’s attention. As the happy chatter died down, you began to speak.

“First off, I’d like to thank everyone for joining in today’s special dinner. Today’s meal is inspired by our very own Facility Manager, Alastor.” Everyone clapped politely and Charlie even gave a small whoop of encouragement. Alastor sat up proudly from his seat at the head of the table, loving the attention he was getting. 

“I’ll admit, I was a bit intimidated with tackling this particular dish, as we’ve all heard him boast about his mother’s recipe.” There were a couple chuckles scattered around the table, everyone very aware of how much he spoke of it. Husk in particular rolled his eyes and muttered quietly in disdain.

“I realize I’ll probably never meet up to her standards,” you look back at Alastor and give a sheepish smile, “but I sincerely hope it’s to your liking.” Alastors smile widened ever so slightly, his hooded gaze softening at your words. 

“My dear,” he marveled, his eyes never leaving yours, “the fact that you were kind enough to take the time to prepare it with me in mind already makes it wonderful.” You felt your hand press up to your chest, your fist curling up tightly near your heart. Alastor always knew what to say to make you feel better. He could be really gentle when he wanted to be. 

“Yea, and not only for ol’ Smiles ‘ere,” Angel spoke up, making you look down at him, “But you’ve made some bitchin’ good meals fer all of us.” he gestured to the crowd, gaining various murmurs of agreement and praise. You looked at everyone and their smiling faces and could feel your chest tightening. 

“Seriously, Sugar, ya freakin’ amazing.” Angel continued, giving you a warm smile. He suddenly grabbed onto his glass and raised it high, giving everyone a cocky grin. “Let’s hear it for y/n ya filthy sinnars!” 

Before you could comprehend, everyone had raised their glasses and gave a cheer of encouragement. You looked out to everyone and their genuine happiness and support, at a loss for words. You had organized all of this simply because you wanted to, but you had to admit, being recognised felt really good. A warmth began to spread into your chest, and a lump formed in your throat. 

It… wow, it had been so long since you’ve had friends like this.

You did your best to blink back tears at the gesture, not expecting to get so emotional over all of this. As you took a moment to acknowledge everyone, your gaze finally turned to Alastor. 

Oddly enough, he wasn’t looking at you, but he was looking at Angel. His eyebrows were tight as his grin stretched in an uncomfortable smile. You could tell he felt your gaze, cause soon his eyes flicked up to you, catching you watching him. In the blink of an eye, his expression softened as he grabbed his own glass, raising it high and giving you a heartening look. You shook the strange feeling from before and smiled back at him, grateful for his appreciation. 

The excitement settled down as everyone started serving themselves, the smell of the cooking becoming too much for everyone to ignore. You finally sat in your chair and reached out for Angel’s hand. The Spider Demon looked to you in surprise for a moment, taking in your smiling face.

“That was really sweet of you to say Angel,” you whispered, your grip on him tightening for a moment. You could feel yourself choking up again. “Seriously… Thank you.” Angel's face softened as he twisted his hand so it could grip on to yours. He began to open his mouth to respond.

In a mere moment, you could feel your chair lurch backwards, a panicked yelp escaping your throat as your hand was ripped out of Angel’s. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing, looking at you in surprise. Angel turned in his seat and looked at you stupidly.

“... What the fuc-?”

Angel didn’t even get a chance to finish his statement as suddenly everyone chairs in your row shifted to the right, causing everyone to cry out and grip onto their seats in fear. Everyone on the other side of the table looked on in disbelief as their friends were shuffled around. 

To your surprise, while everyone shifted right, you slid to your left at lightning speed, the chair scraping loudly on the wooden floor. You suddenly jolted to a stop, and you held on for dear life at the force in which you were moving. Before you could recover, your chair lurched forward, propelling you back to the table and new place setting.

… Right next to Alastor.

You gasped in surprise, your heart racing in shock as you felt your knuckles turning white from gripping the seat so hard. You noticed something flicker beneath you, and your eyes managed to catch something. A shadow with a familiar Cheshire grin shimmied away from the feet of your chair before melting into the shade of the table. 

Your head whipped up to Alastor in disbelief. The Radio Demon had just finished serving himself jambalaya, not even looking in your direction as he tapped the serving spoon against his plate. With a cool expression, he turned his head to you and tilted his head to the side, as if nothing had happened.

“... Jambalaya~?” He pointed the spoon to the pot and looked at you expectantly.

Everyone stared for a moment, the room eerily quiet.

“.......... Alastor what the actual FUCK was that?!” Angel suddenly exploded, clearly very upset that his bestie was now 2 chairs away from him. Everyone else in your row nodded in agreement, perplexed at the sudden change in seating. Alastor didn't turn his head, nor look at Angel. The Radio Demon simply took your plate and began serving you the ride dish, his expression surprisingly calm and attention only on you.

“Just say when dear~”

Your eyes darted from Alastor to Angel, unsure of what to even do or say. Angel’s face scrunched up into a scowl, clearly displeased with being ignored.

“Hey! Freaky Face! I’m talkin’ to ya!” he growled, his hands tightening into fists. Alastor continued to ignore the spider, continuing to serve you as if it was just the two of you in the room. 

“My my, hungry now are we y/n dearest~?” Alastor grinned cheekily. You were still so dumbstruck, your gaze finally fell to your plate and you quickly realized just how full it was getting. Awkwardly looking between Angel and Alastor, you softly murmured a 'w-when'. Alastor gave a hum of approval and tapped the spoon on your plate before setting it back down in front of you. 

“Hah, ok Asshole. I see how it is.” Angel chuckled darkly to himself, “I get it. Ya just hate ta see anyone else gettin’ cozy with our little chef. I’ll admit, I didn’t take ya for the jealous type.”

That seemed to catch Alastors attention.

It was only for a moment, and only you were able to catch it sitting so close to him. But you noticed the Radio Demon’s pupils flash, and his one eyelid twitch as his smile grew dangerously wide. But in an instant, Alastor calmed his expression and was back to his suave self. Taking a breath, he finally turned his head to Angel.

“Oh please.” He drawled, his eyes looking at him with boredom, “I simply figured it only made sense for our wonderful chef to sit next to the demon who inspired tonight’s dish. Wouldn’t you agree y/n~?” He turned his head to you and slowly leaned in, giving you a pleasant smile. You felt your heart leap at suddenly being caught off guard, unsure of what to say.

“I, ah, well-!” 

Everyone's eyes were on you, and you suddenly felt very self conscious. Being put on the spot like this, and feeling as if you had to choose between your two friends, it was becoming very overwhelming. Unbeknownst to you, Charlie looked at you with such pity, and felt her own blood begin to boil at the situation these men put you in. Placing her hands on the table, the Princess of Hell rose from her chair, her face suddenly very authoritative.

“Both of you need to stop this nonsense.” She stated, looking down at both Angel and Alastor disapprovingly. “Y/n put a lot of effort into making this dinner special; and I won't allow you to ruin it over something so petty!” She continued to glare at them judgingly before turning her attention to you, giving you a quick comforting smile and nod. You felt your shoulders relax and smile back at her, feeling grateful for her support. She really was growing into her royal title. 

Angel had his arms crossed and was clearly still pissed, but there was a mix of shame in his eyes after being called out. Alastor’s face remained surprisingly calm, turning to look over at you. He noticed your posture and expression, his eyes calculating as he assessed the situation. Finally he turned back to the table.

“Our Princess is right of course~!” He smiled, lifting a hand and placing it on your shoulder, “I would hate for all of dear y/n’s efforts to be neglected. She has worked so hard; let us forget about all this nonsense and enjoy this wonderful meal~!” His eyes slid to Angels and gave him a hard stare. The Spider demon glared right back, his jaw tight and eyes furrowed with hatred. But after glancing at both you and Charlie, and seeing your faces, he finally grumbled in defeat. With a huff, Angel reached for another cheddar biscuit and slouched in his seat, ending the feud.  

You finally released the breath you were holding as everyone shrugged their shoulders and returned their focus to their plates. You felt Alastors grip on your shoulder tighten for a moment, making you turn to him. 

“Are you quite alright my dear?” He asked, an eyebrow raised in question. Despite the calm look on his face, you knew he wouldn't be asking if he wasn't genuinely concerned. You sighed and felt a smile spread across your face, giving his hand a pat in reassurance. 

“Yeah, I’m ok Al,” you started, beginning to shake your head and grin as you thought about the shenanigans he pulled earlier. “But seriously, there’s no need to be so jealous. If you want to sit beside me, just say so.” You looked up to him playfully, your previously conflicted emotions melting away. Alastor stared at you for a moment, his eye’s lidded and giving you a blank stare before turning to his plate. Removing his hand from your shoulder, he picked up his utensils and was suddenly very focused on his meal.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about y/n~” he replied. He scooped up a spoonful of rice and shrimp. You could feel your eyes crinkling as you watched him knowingly.

“Uh huh~” you smirk. 

The Radio Demon ignored you and took his first bit of jambalaya. Your grin slowly began to fall as you watched him pull the spoon out from his lips, your previous nerves from earlier settling in again. You watched his expression with baited breath as he tasted your cooking. 

His appearance didn’t change much; his eyes looking down at the food beneath him, eyes flickering over the plate. After a moment, his eyelids sank down closed as he continued to chew, allowing all of his senses to focus on the flavor. You could feel your leg begin to jiggle anxiously; seriously it was sad how badly you wanted this man’s approval. 

The demon lifted his head and gulped his mouthful down, eyes still closed and lips in a small pressed smile. You held your breath as you waited for his verdict. Alastor’s smile grew wider as he lowered his head back to the plate, opening his eyes and looking fondly at the dish below him. 

“Well well~” he chuckled, finally turning his head to you and giving you an impressed look, “I have to admit, this is as close as anyone has ever gotten.” 

You felt your heart stop.

Is he shitting you right now?

“Of course,” he continued, scooping another spoonful and inspecting it, “it is missing a few things; she’d usually add sausage as well, and probably a bit more spice to it.” he looked fond for a moment, seeming to reminisce to days gone by.

“Nevertheless, it does still taste like home~” He took another bite and once again closed his eyes, savoring the flavors. 

You felt lighter than a feather. 

Of course you knew you’d never get it exactly right. But holy crap you were so relieved that it met his expectations. You were so giddy you had to bite your lip to prevent yourself from squealing, practically doing a little happy dance in your chair. Satisfied with Alastors response, you grabbed onto your own spoon and began to happily dig in.

You were so carefree in your own little world, you didn’t even notice Alastor sneaking a glance at you. Or how his lips curled up ever so slightly at your antics before turning back to his plate. 

The rest of the evening went on without a hitch. Everyone gorged themselves until they were ready to burst, and complimented you on such a flavorful meal. You were so flustered with all the praise; despite the little quarrel that had happened earlier, you couldn’t have been more pleased with how the night went. And you felt more confident with your cooking now that you had Alastor’s official stamp of approval.

The group of demons eventually began to trickle out of the room, ready to immediately flop onto the closest comfortable furniture they could find. You giggled at their behavior and wished you could do the same, but you still had to clean up before you could clock off work. With a final stretch, you turn back to the table and are surprised to see Alastor still in his chair, leaning back comfortably and eyes closed.

“Truly a wonderful evening y/n dearest,” he sighed, opening a single eye to look at you, “There’s something about dining with a group of folks that brings out a certain camaraderie, don’t you think~?” You sighed happily as you approached the table.

“Honestly, it was something I had forgotten I had missed since coming to Hell,” you smiled, beginning to stack the plates and collecting utensils. “I’m just happy to do my part in getting demons to open up more and earn everyone’s trust.”

Alastor said nothing in return, simply watching you as you accumulated the dirty dishes. His eyebrow quirked up before he finally raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Shadows emerged from under the table, making you gasp and almost drop your stack of plates. The same shaded goons from your first week at the hotel appeared beside you and began collecting all the dishes. You begin to tumble over words of protests, but they didn’t pay attention to you as they continued to clean, one even grabbing the stack in your hands and waddling to the kitchen.

“Alastor!” you laugh, turning to him in bewilderment, “Call your minions off; seriously I can clean all of this up myself.” But the Radio Demon merely waved a hand to you as he rose from his seat.

“Don’t bother arguing with me my dear,” he sassed, “You’ve done more than enough tonight; consider this my way of thanking you for a marvelous feast.” 

You sighed at him, slightly annoyed. But you had to admit, you were grateful for his help. Today had surprisingly taken its toll on you, physically and emotionally, and you were so tired from it all. You smiled up at him, rocking back and forth on your feet sheepishly.

“... Thank you Al. Honestly.” you paused for a moment, thinking about everything he had done for you in the month you’d been here. And asking for nothing in return. It was out of character for him.

“I just…” you sighed, making Alastor tilt his head quizzically to you. “I just want to say I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me. You gave me this job, helped me settle in and feel comfortable, and because of it all I even got to make new friends…” You saw Alastors eyes narrow for a moment and you had to bite back the knowing grin. You cleared your throat and continued.

“But I hope you know,” you hummed, “that I’ll always consider you my first real friend down here. And that I’m really grateful to have been given this chance to get close to you.”

Alastor looked at you long and hard for a moment, the air between you calm and quiet. His static sound shuffled for a second before he finally straightened his back and stood taller, his lips pressed together into a large smile. The red demon glided over to you, and softly patted your head, shaking his head in amusement.

“Ohhh y/n, y/n, y/n,” he sighed, opening his eyes and quirking an eyebrow, “I do often wonder how someone like yourself ended up down here.” Now it was your turn to cock an eyebrow as you gave him a cheeky smile.

“Al, you know exactly how I got down here.”

“Ah, that’s right.” A chuckle escaped his lips, and you knew for a fact he still found your death thoroughly entertaining. “By the way, you didn’t happen to sneak anything into our meal today, now did you~?” He gave you an impish grin. You burst out laughing.

“You asshole!” you guffawed, shoving his hand on your head away playfully, to which the demon snickered evilly. As your laughter simmered down, looked at you a moment before tilting his head up, eyes closed.

“I still stand by my previous statement,” he mused. “The type of folks in this realm are not worthy of such kindness. You should be careful as to whom you trust around here.” He opened his eyes, and his crimson gaze fell to yours. His expression shifted into a serious one at his last statement, making your grin falter for a moment. But only for a moment. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I have you around then, isn’t it?” You smiled, taking a step towards him.

Alastors gaze widened a moment, his eyes flickering over your face. It wasn’t often that you caught the Radio Demon off guard, but the rare moments when you did, you couldn’t help but feel a little pride. Finally, Alastor began to chuckle, shaking his head at you again. After taking a breath, he looked back down at you, a surprising fondness donning his face.

“Hmmm, I suppose it is~”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

..... Alastor doesn't like to share ¬‿¬ Fun fact: Angel like's to give you food-related nicknames. Baby Cakes, Sugar, Puddin', Honey Bunz, ect.

FIRST PREVIOUS NEXT

[chrissturnsgirlll222]

second, never first

part eight | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become close friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 1500+

NOT PROOFREAD

-

this morning of school was tense. all day i was waiting to hear from anna to cuss me out, ask for a ride home or act like nothing happened and be petty. none of the above happened. she literally didnt go to school.

chris and i hung out at lunch and were just waiting for anna to start texting one of us aggressively but she didnt.

the silent treatment was killing me. why couldnt she just talk to me about what she was feeling. she had it all wrong and if she wasnt talking to me or chris she would just live thinking that we were hooking up being her back. it doesnt help the situation at all that shes ignoring us because we couldnt fully explain ourselves. but with anna, i dont even think clarification would change her mind.

chris and i were about to leave school when i got a text from anna:

monday 3:14pm

anna: i need you to come over, its urgent

as soon as i read the message i booked it to chris’ car showing him the message. “chris what the fuck am i supposed to do.” i exclaim shoving my phone in his face. he grabs it from my hand and reads it, “go.” is all he says.

“go?”

“yes go right now, this is literally our only chance of saving this whole situation.” he says.

“chris i am scared what are you not understanding.” i snap.

“me and you both have watched anna single handedly take girls down for messing with her relationships even if they didnt matter. you have watched her fight girls in the hallway just for looking at her wrong, now you have a chance to fix this and your ‘too scared’.” he explains

i pause thinking about what to do. part of me thinks hes right but the other part is saying that im about to get bitch slapped into oblivion. the people she cares about most betrayed her, atleast in her eyes.

“i dont even know what to say.” i mumble. “maybe explain the fucking situation.” he says in a duh tone. “got it.” i say before running into my car, backing out of my spot and waving off chris.

after driving to annas house ,which time felt like it was speeding past me, i got out of the car and let out a sigh i didnt know i had been holding in. walking up to the front door i run over every detail of what im about to say, finally reaching the top of her porch stairs i knock on the door. the door flys open and anna has the sweetest smile on her face.

im guessing she doesnt know that chris told me about what she said since she started talking to me like normal.

“what did i miss at school any hot gos?” she says walking towards her fridge and grabbing a sparkling water. “uhhh no?” i hesitate for a second confused. “oh lame.” she frowns.

“well i have some.” she says.

“about who?” i question even though i have a feeling i know where she is going with this.

“one of our best friends.” she is talking almost as if she is animated. most likely to freak me out, its working.

“ouu interesting.” i reply.

“yeah! so, one of our closest friends is hooking up with chris behind my back, she actually thinks i wont do something about it.” she states in the same animated tone.

“anna you can drop it i know your talking about me.” i say my face blank.

her face drops “oh so you admit it.”

“no i actually came here to knock some sense in to you.”

she hums in response raising her eyebrows. “what the fuck game do you think your playing at anna. i mean seriously, drop this little creepy act your not intimidating anyone. if you knew everything you wouldnt be acting like a bitch right now.” i snap.

“ouu look who grew a pair, im not going to sit here and listen to your fake ass apologies so you can leave and perhaps let the door hit you on the way out.” she says with a smug smile on her face. “anna if you would get out of your own head you could stop yourself from losing two friends who care about you.”

“friends?” she scoffs, “what great friends i have. did you enjoy your movie night or did chris’ dick feel too good down your throat? i dont need you anymore you see, all you do is complain and complain. you wanna act innocent? get out of my house and i wont tell anyone your as fake as you really are.” she scolds.

“you dont mean that.” my heart shatters as my best friend basically tells me im nothing to her anymore. “oh y/n i mean every word.” she waves at me and turns around.

“unbelievable.” i scoff as i walk out.

if there was anything i knew about anna was that she could lie right through her perfect teeth. if she says shes not going to tell people that she thinks me and chris are hooking up, she quiet literally means the opposite. so if she wants to play that game i will too.

im done getting pushed around by her.

i immediately dial chris’ phone number.

ring ring ring

chris answers the phone.

“hey kid, did everything go smoothly as planned?” he asks.

“no, anna is actually the most horrible human being on the planet i cannot fucking believe i wasted years of my life on that bitch.”

“woah woah calm down. explain to me what happened.” he tries to mediate.

“ill be over in 5.” i say before hanging up and getting into my car.

-

i sped over to chris’ house so angry i swear i passed about 3 stop signs.

“anna is actually unreal i never should have agreed to this little deal of yours to set you up with her.” i storm in to chris’ room. he shoots up at my entrance “ok y/n you actually need to chill the fuck out.” he breathes.

“no chris in not going to ‘chill the fuck out’” i mock, “you know what the fuck she said to me?” i say. “what?” he says.

“she said she doesnt need me anymore.” i quote anna. chris’ face drops. i walk over to his bed dropping my school bag on his floor. “how exactly did all of this blow up in your face this bad?” he questions. “well i walked in acting clueless and she kept talking to me like everything was fine and i was extremely confused right?” i explain. “mhm” chris hums waiting for the rest of the story.

“so she started saying one of her closest friends betrayed her and thought they got away with no consequences, so then i just confronted the situation and she took that as me confessing to everything. so i started to explain myself and then she started saying how we are fake people and that if i didnt leave her house she would tell everyone was a snake and fucking you behind her back.” i continue.

“but you left so your fine right?”

“chris do you even know who anna is? like seriously.” i say and he shrugs his shoulders.

“by tomorrow pretty much everyone will be talking about how we got together behind annas back.” i state.

“im so done being pushed around by her. she always called me a buzzkill when i didnt feed into her constant boy troubles. and you know what carson told me, he said that anna has been scaring guys away from me for years. she never saw me as a friend. she only ever saw me as competition. years of friendship for nothing.”

“if she is going to tell everyone that were snakes then let them believe it.” he blurts out.

i make a confused face at him “chris wha-“ he cuts me off “people are going to believe anna no matter what right?” i shrug in response, “so why dont we entertain the idea for them.” he explains

“chris have you actually lost it?” i say. “nope. kid i dont know about you but anna seems like she wasnt the bestie we thought she was.” he says emphasizing ‘bestie’.

“no?” i respond.

“so then lets get back at her, make everyone think were dating.”

“yeah chris i got that but what do we get out of it?”

“you get back at your horrible bitchy best friend and i get a fake hot girlfriend.”

-

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23

a/n: YALLL IM SO EXCITED TO SEE REACTIONS TO THIS. i have the whole story planned out in my head and we are finally getting into the real plot of this story. hope you guys enjoyed.🩷🩷🩷

[ventisslut]

Rambling about Venti under the cut. Safe for work but one mention of being horny. Mostly about his sad life lmaoo. You may not agree with what i say here but i think this turned out to be a pretty solid post analysing his current life and loneliness. Not proof read so ignore any punctuation errors and typos.

A weird headcanon that keeps occuring to me is that Venti gets horny frequently but he ends up just taking care of it himself or just straight up ignores it, because in reality he is so lonely and isn't one for casual hook ups or one night stands, he craves a deep romantic connection. Sex is very intimate for him and he doesn't want it to be with random people.

Sure, he is quite popular as a bard, very social too, has lots of friends. But after the party ends and everyone heads home...he is left alone. He doesn't have someone, a partner, or a family waiting for him. The thing about total freedom is that...it's lonely. He travels often, doesn't stay anywhere long enough to form meaningful and deep connections, not that a 2,600 year old deity walking around as his dead friend can have much in common with mortals anyways so he doesn't really "click" with anyone either.

He is touch-starved. He got used to it for sure, and does enjoy the solitude to some degree.. but he does wish he had someone who could be there for him, someone who's lifespan matched his unending one, someone who'd take care of him, drag him home, look out for him, and wait for him, with a place to call "home". A place he can return to after traveling for days, to a partner, a warm bed and a warm meal. He craves that domestic comfort and love.

He surprisingly doesn't get many suitors either because most people avoid approaching him in that manner from how young he looks, and people tend to immediately assume he is a minor from his baby face and rather petite figure. I'm sure a few youngsters get puppy crushes on him from time to time, but seeing (assuming) as how traditional family structures are in Mondstadt i doubt anyone would want or allow their daughter/son to date a drunk bard anyways. Weirdly enough I don't feel like he'd be comfortable with dating one of his own citizens anyways since he considers them to be his own children.

When you actually get in a relationship with him, for all the romantic advice he gives to people during the windblume festivals he is unsure of how to act at first. It's been too long since he had an actual partner, and he doesn't want to scare you away or make you feel suffocated, but he really needs that physical connection, that reassurance that you wont be going anywhere, that he wont be left alone to deal with the silence on his own again, that you really do love him as he loves you. As time goes on and he gets comfortable in a moderate pace (depending on how you act). He gets more clingy. A hesitant hand resting on your waist turns to his arm wrapping around your waist. The awkward brushing of your shoulders when you stand next to one another turns to his arm linked to yours, or your hands interwining with one another. Refuses to let you out of the bed often, holding onto you.

The floodgates open really, he's pent up and frustrated both sexually and emotionally, and he doesn't even know what to do with it all or how to relieve himself without overwhelming you. He wants to make the most of the time you two spend together while you can, because he knows anything can happen in Teyvat, and you could be separated one day.

[ggsbooks123]

Fighting back (part three)

summary: jude wants things to be the way they were before as her memories finally come back to her but to do that, she has to start fighting back…

warning; sadly this is not the final part, some angst and fluff for surez y’all deserve it!

— — —

My mind should have been on the tunnels, on what dangers probably lurked around the corner. The voices against Peeta coming back… my own voice that now haunts me over and over with thoughts that sound… deserving. Instead, I can’t seem to shake Castor’s — Pollux’s brother — retelling of Pollux’s past and why he would be able to lead us through the tunnels.

He’d been an Avox, if I had taken the time to actually fight the thought in my head instead of letting his subdue me, letting it convince me that Peeta was evil. Peeta. I shake my head, waiting as the others climbed down the ladder, I couldn’t even look at him or Pollux now, two people who deserved better.

I clenched my fists as Pollux and I stood alone before the ladder, he stared at me but not in a way that was offensive more that he was reading me. Trying to sense if you’ll kill him next, I frown before quickly stepping down the ladder after Cressida, the daylight from outside began to dwindle more and more as I climbed down, soon the artificial lighting from the tunnel creeped in, it wasn’t anything special.

Lucky for us.

The last thing we needed was a spotlight on us.

Finally joining back with the group all we have to do is wait for Pollux to climb down and when I glance to my right, Castor is beside me with that same questionable look, reading reading reading. I internally tell myself to shut up, it felt like I was a record held on loop, utterly out of my control. Was I getting worse?

“You okay? Pollux wanted to check on you more but wasn’t sure if you were warm to meeting new people yet” Castor speaks with a easy calmness, I envy it even now I can feel my hands shaking and beads sweating at my forehead but still I take a deep breath.

“The-“ Could I say voices? “The thoughts I’ve been having have changed direction, not to anyone of you and it’s not so easy to push down but no one should get hurt by it” No one but you, the voice seems to jeer. He smiles lightly at that but I’m not finished “Pollux is incredibly brave, I- I didn’t take the time to talk to anyone but I had tunnel vision and I wasn’t fighting but now I am and I want to know who I’m fighting with” Somehow his smile widens as Pollux finally comes down and reaches our side immediately seeking comfort in this dark place with his brother.

The others are standing a little away from us, already taking a peek at what lies ahead but it’s nothing but endless tunnel and tracks, surely there wouldn’t be any trains running at the moment. But we’d been lucky with the lights, two times lucky definitely wasn’t our thing. Suddenly an intake of breath makes me glance back at the brothers beside me, Pollux is now sweating profusely and can’t seem to take in a breath for the life of him. Maybe he remembered how you sent his friend to his death, I try to push my voice down so I can focus but it’s weeded within me like a virius. It is me.

Instantly my hand comes to his shoulder, I see Castor beside me reach for his weapon and understand his actions and try not to let myself be hurt by it as Pollux’s eyes connect with mine, I wouldn’t let the Capitol control thrm anymore, not with fear, not while they assaulted me with it.

“They wont hurt you again, Pollux. I swear on my life, you will see the end of Snow” I hear it, trying to sliver back it, Snow’s voice. Kill him, let him burn for- No, not anymore.

And this time, I’m met with silence… An itch remains, but I know it’s self-inflicting and safe, for now.

But i’d fought for them, and I’d keep doing it. I smile at Pollux as he takes a deep breath, Castor’s hand had moved from reaching for his gun to Pollux’s other arm, “We got you, buddy” Pollux smiles gratefully at the two of us, wiping at tears I hadn’t noticed fell before we finally joined the group.

Jackson and Katniss seemed to take lead with Pollux as the rest of tagged behind, as I moved to follow I noticed a certain blonde missing and instantly spin to locate the missing boy and sigh of relief comes out when he’s standing behind me, looking at me and the smallest flicker of hope. But it’s gone in an instant, as he clears his throat “That was nice of you, I wasn’t sure I’d had known what to do”

How heartless do you have to be to be thanked for being nice. My voice heckles me and I clench my jaw.

“It’s awful, I always think I’d had it bad then I actually open my ears to other peoples experiences and I just- I understand now. Why this fight is so necessary, its all clicking” I admit to him, it’s not much to work on but I’d do anything to see that hope in his eyes again, the stars ill never reach… Oh Peeta.

I feel myself reach out for him before I snap back into my body. You don’t deserve him, and you never will. You never did.

I turn and walk to catch up to the others, though my mind is everywhere at once. I want to get better, and be better and stay alive but the nightlock pocket burns and burns and burns, i know that I have to use it, i know that I’m too far gone too far gone too- I shake my head, I need to stop doing that.

My mind is on fire and my feet won’t stop, until I slam into a hard wall. No, my head doesn’t ache and the wall’s arms have closed around me? No, not a wall. I look up, and I frown. Finnick always manages to find me at my worst, how does he do it? I’ll have to ask him some time.

I shake my head, what the hell was I thinking? I had just run off on Peeta and now I was talking about wanting to ask Finnick something, I shouldn’t have run. But my mind is scrambled whenever he latches on and lets go, was this how I’d live? Latching onto to him my whole life, a dead weight chained to his ankle…

“You’re mumbling and kinda freaking me out” Finnick’s voice is like someone taking a sledgehammer to a static tv, the silence is deafening in my skull. I look up at him “I’m sorry for saying anything, this is way creepier” I let out a chuckle and shake my head.

“You’re such an asshole” I whisper, my hand rubbing at my temples as a headache grows there, and the unreachable itch never sways but I’ve grown accustomed to it, sometimes it felt as if it wasn’t there, never like how it evaporates when Peeta touches me though.

I don’t understand, it didn’t work like that with the other voice, I’d tried to kill him enough and our skin had touched, but why now? “I- Peeta deserves so much more than some broken girl” Is all I manage to whisper.

And I’m waiting for it, the obviously, no wonder look at you, it seriously took you this long to figure that out. But they don’t come and when he does speak, I don’t understand how I could think so lowly of him sometimes .

“That guy could live a hundred lifetimes with hundreds of different girls and I’m almost positive that they’re all forgotten when finally meets you” I freeze, looking up at Finnick

“Finnick I-“

“You don’t see because you want him to hate you for what you’ve done, but he loves you so much and I really hope you remember how much you reciprocated that… I thought I loved Annie with everything in me until I saw you looking at Peeta before the 75th games” He shakes his head, a dazed smile on his face “You were looking at your whole life right in front of you, your future and you looked on top of the world”

I bit my lip and close my eyes for a moment because I can feel it, the warmth in my chest and clench of my stomach with how I left him. I did love him with everything in me, and more.

And I couldn’t give up now.

— — —

“Maybe the tunnels weren’t the best idea” Finnick teases after we dashed into another passing tunnel to avoid a train making it’s way through and we all distastefully look at him, his eyes flick between all of us “Top side?” Pollux huffs and I can’t help but smile, poking his head around the corner to make sure everything was clear.

I take the time to look over at Peeta, we hadn’t said anything to each other after I ran off like a child, I wanted to groan into my hands right there. You’re just kids, after what I just did it wasn’t so surprising anymore. I wanted to be able to put all this behind us and give into that hope that he was so easily filled with but I just can’t- Not after Boggs and Mitchell… I close my eyes as we wait for the tram to pass us.

“We definitely can’t stay here” Katniss speaks up, and this time Pollux doesn’t seem to annoyed by the fact, probably because Finnick liked to tease and lighten a situation, and this situation was one that definitely needed it but was a little to obvious when someone did.

Pollux waves over his shoulder before we’re jogging over the tracks that were just being used, quick and together to make sure no one gets left behind and hoping another tram doesn’t soon come through again. But it’s not long before we reach a door and Pollux takes a second to unlock it before quickly rushing inside, and Cressida turned to me quickly, us being the first two behind Pollux “Wanna stay here and make sure everyone gets in?”

My heart warms, she trusted me. I tried not to show how much it meant to me as I nodded, placing my back to the door keeping it open as I rushed the others inside. The first one behind me is Finnick who sends me a wink, probably knowing how much this small tasks means to me.

They’re finally seeing me as a member and not a bomb about to go off. I try not to get my hopes up especially when a certain blonde passes next, he sends me a soft smile, eyes lingering half a second too long before he was out of sight through the door, I let out a breath I hadn’t even noticed I was holding. The next few go by uneventfully, Messalla and Castor who both send me smiles, Messalla a little more strained I knew he was friends with Mitch more so than anyone here. Then holding up the rear is Jackson and finally Katniss.

Her brown eyes burn into mine as I look down at my feet, something that slowly makes it way in is the memories of Katniss. I hadn’t realised how much they had wiped until recently, the voices spitting at me for forgetting her, my best friend. The girl who saved my life when she didn’t even know who I was.

The 74th Hunger games is what I’m tossed back into, watching all the time in between pass before I’m watching myself dart through the forest.

I run and run until I can’t stop, and I know it’s not long away now. The careers’s had broken apart to try to cut me off but I’d managed to lose three of them but one of them were still right on my tail, there was no way I would be able to outrun him, I’d caught a sight of his brown hair and lanky form. Especially with the things I had done in the past twenty minutes to get rid of his three friends. The forest leaves smacked into me and the humid air around me wasn’t helping my panting breaths. I would either stop on my own or collapse and stopping wasn’t an option.

I take the moment of silence behind me to look over my shoulder… there’s no one behind me. I let myself slow as I plant my hands on my knees, desperately trying to suck air into my lungs. I think back to what my mentor said, that I should try and ally with some of the victors but I couldn’t do it, not when I knew I’d have to kill them by the end of it. But now, standing here physically unable to stand on my own, I wish someone was there to watch my back.

Because I hear the footsteps coming from my right far to late, I quickly shoot up just in time for Career’s shoulder to smack directly into my stomach as he tackles me to the ground, even with the fatigue crawling through my bones I struggle underneath him, kicking my legs in every direction but his legs are on both sides of my torso, locking my arms against my body. Panic began to flare within me, I was going to die.

The boy actually laughs as I struggle, it’s sickening to watch and I don’t understand how I could have forgotten the fear and panic I’d felt spewing from me. “Weak little sheep, thought you could survive on your own did ya?” He laughs again, pulling a blade from his waistband, I try to push him off again, and manage to slip my arm out the slightest bit but he quickly swipes causing me to cry out as blood now seeps from my arm, giving him time to lock it back into place with his leg. “Any last words?”

I open my mouth ready to rain every curse word I’d learnt but his face of humour switches to shock as I hear a sickening crunch and an arrow protrudes from his chest, I swallow my gasp as I quickly push him off me, no longer impossible to do since all his strength had been sucked form his body the moment that arrow hit him, redirecting his dead weight to send himself backwards as I scrambled away and looked around in the trees. Who ever had shot that either tried to help me or was trying to kill two birds with one arrow.

Finally a girl steps out from the trees, I shoot up to my feet instantly when I notice the bow trained on me in her hands. I couldn’t remember her name at this very moment but I knew she was from District 12, I still thought about her flaming dress. My designers wouldn’t shut up about Cinna and I myself couldn’t stop thinking about his designs so I couldn’t blame them. “He killed Rue” Are the first words she says, as I look back down at the boy who now lays dead.

“So you would have let him kill me if he hadn’t killed your friend?” I let out a huff, I shouldn’t complain, I was saved wasn’t I. But her standing there with her bow ready to strike didn’t feel to safe. And she doesn’t respond to my question, I fix the straps on my shoulders of my bag before sighing “Want some clean water?” Her eyes perk at that but still the bow stays trained, “I promise I won’t try and kill you” I smile at her and finally the bow drops as she grimaces at me.

“And what if you’re lying” Neither of us realised that we were going to become far more than acquaintances sharing clean water.

I shrug with an even more mischievous grin “You’ll just have to trust me. I’m Jude”

She frowns slightly before slinging her bow over her shoulder and brought her hand towards me “Katniss and you better not be lying or I’ll shoot you next”

“And I believe you”

I feel the memory swirling and changing but I refuse it, this is the memory. I know it, Katniss just being precautious. The only part of the memory that left me stumped was my nonchalance, and outgoing nature. I couldn’t imagine smiling at Katniss a couple seconds after I’d nearly lost my life but I was an incredibly different person back then than I was now. I’m finally back in the sewers, watching Katniss slip past me but my hand catches her wrist. Her gaze meets mine again and this time I speak “Why did you save me in the 74th Hunger Games?” I knew why, she said because the guy had killed Rue. But it didn’t feel right.

Itch itch itch. It grows the more the silence spreads. Did they all feel the need to hesitate and raise my blood pressure?

She looked at me like I wasn’t real before whispering “I knew you’d be important to me, I didn’t know how but I heard you scream and I acted before thinking. After you shared your water with me I planned on ditching you but you have a habit of digging into peoples hearts without them knowing it” She frowns, staring at me so intensely that I have to stop the tears from falling, she barely had looked at me since I’d come and to see her unflinching, it made my heart warm. My other half. I didn’t know how’d I’d gone so long without her. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you-“

I don’t let her finish, my arms shoot around her neck as she returns the embrace immediately “I’m sorry, I should’ve been stronger” I whisper but I feel her shake her head before she pulls away slightly to look at my face and presses our foreheads together.

“We’re together again, we’ve always been stronger together” I smile sadly at her words before she fully pulls way and links her arm with mine “They’re probably waiting on us, ready to head down?” I nod, warming at the rush of memories that slowly flood me, small things like Katniss and I in the water seeing who can dunk the other first, her teaching me how to shoot her bow.

Without Katniss I wouldn’t have survived this long and if I had never allied with her I wouldn’t have won the games with Peeta and her, I would have never met the blonde boy who I thought of night and day, who’d I sacrifice everything for.

That was who Katniss and Peeta are, how could I have ever wanted the hurt them? My best friend and the love of my life, I’ll never go back to that. At that thought the pocket above my heart burns, Only when I have to.

And I find myself for the first time as I gaze at her brunette braid, that I don’t want to leave them. But it’d be better for all of them if you did.

Katniss climbs down first, I wait till she’s a fair bit down before I go after her, except I feel slightly betrayed when a smell hits my nose. It’s everything that could possibly have smelt bad smooshed into one place, I wanted to gag or climb back up the ladder but that definitely wasn’t an option so I gagged instead “How’re you not throwing up right now?” I manage to say between holding my breath and own fluids from appearing on the floor.

She shakes her head, “I’ve smelt worse” She doesn’t say it in a rude way, no, it’s more haunted and I want to hold her again but my hands are securely holding on to the ladder as I slowly make my way down. I hear the team as we finally reach the ground and the smell has only intensified, I can’t hope to grow use to the smell but I knew we’d be down here so I don’t have to just try to ignore it. Maybe breath through my mouth, I grimace.

“How’s it look?” Jackson asks, making Katniss pull the holo from her pack. I join Finnick’s side as Katniss heads to the front of the group. I smile to her as she looks over her shoulder and sends one back, warmth flares me. My best friend.

Finnick raised the restricts at me “We won’t-“

“Put them on me, Finn” I smile sadly, “Precaution” He sighed, nodding sadly before restraining my hands together, not as tight as before but enough to restrain me.

He smiles softly at me as I looked back up at the rest of the group, my eyes always automatically falling into Peeta. He doesn’t notice, engrossed in whatever Katniss is showing him on the holo.

Finnick nudges me “After.”

I smile at the blonde boy, who had his back to me before looking up at Finnick to my left “After”

— —

We’re slowly making our way through the tunnels, the open space now shifted into a tighter tunnel, causing us to form a single file line. I stood behind Cressida and in front of Finnick.

The only light is from Katniss’s holo but that does little when I’m four people behind her, I squint trying to adjust to the brightness.

A few of us had flashlights but the beam was so small it barely helped.

“Can you see any-“ A pipe bursts suddenly beside me, pressurised air broke from the pipe right into my path causing me to let out a scream.

Instantly I crouched, luckily it wasn’t scorching but it left a bad taste in my mouth, my ear on my left was ringing.

What if there was worse than faulty pipes? Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, maybe they’ll get lucky and you’ll die down here.

Finnicks hand caught my shoulder before I could growl at the voice in my head… my own damn voice i have to keep reminding myself.

“Are you-“ He didn’t get to finish before I’m lifted by my arms to my feet suddenly and i’m staring into panicked blue eyes.

“Are you hurt?!” Peetas eyes search me head to toe, his hand trailing over my arms, scowling at the restraint for a moment, and stomach not even noticing the way I tremble under his touch. And I almost freeze when his skin touches mine.

It’d been so long so i’d felt him… And my head finally clicks the relief I feel, the itch is gone

“Yeah…” I respond breathily, heat coming to my cheeks “Yeah” I can’t form another word, he seems to catch on freezing and taking a step back, his pink cheeks no doubt matching mine. I have to hold my temple for a moment as the itch slowly returns, had it faded because of Peeta. My heart swelled with hope but I didn’t let it show.

He clears his throat, “Right, best keep going then.” He looked over my shoulder, nodding his head before trailing back and I want to follow him, stay by his side but I don’t move and soon the group is moving again.

We keep the single file line since the tunnels never seem to widen, no, instead it seems to throw obstacle after obstacle at us, I grimace as I watch Cressida drop into the shoulder deep water.

“Afraid of water, Jude?” She jokes as I don’t move from the ledge, “Can’t hurt ya” No more than you’ve hurt others- Or how others have hurt me, I scream back in my head.

“Jude?” She mutters again and I nod my head, smirking at the relief in my head for the moment.

“You’re right,” I take a breath and drop into the water, trying to hold in a gag when it splashed into my face, I raise my hands keeping my restraint from getting soaked“Totally not piss and shit”

Finnick drops behind and laughs “Keep saying it and it might come true” I shoot him a look as we begin to shuffle in the water, I thank whoever designed the suits because if I had a inkling of skin outside below the neck I’d probably die from the feel of whatever this was.

“We going to pretend you didn’t blush like a schoolgirl when Peeta grabbed you before?” Finnick whispered in my ear suddenly, making me jump and heat sprouted through me at the memory from moments ago.

“Shut up, before I drown you in piss and shit” He laughs and lucky for him doesn’t try to continue the conversation.

— —

Once we were walking for about thirty minutes and finding nothing but endless tunnels, Jackson spoke up to break the silence “All right, everybody, we’re gonna stop here for a bit and get some rest, yeah?”

Slowly the group walked up a staircase and into a grate pathway. I glanced around, watching everyone get comfortable as Finnick nudged me “Sit there, I’ll take first watch”

I nod, biting my lip as I took a seat with my back against the railing closest to the staircase, I heard some laughter and talking as I crossed my arms and gazed at the doorway we came through, running through everything that could happen in the next couple of days.

We could all die or Snow could… The world could change or we’d become forgotten. It wasn’t good to think like that, no, Snow would pay.

I glanced around at everyone now, slowly settling in for the night. And though Finnick said he’d watch me, his gaze is wondering. We all wanted Snow to pay, and he would.

Finnick didn’t say much to me, probably hoping i’d fall asleep but I couldn’t every creak had me jumping and cracking an eye open, I’d seen three changes of watch before finally when I peeked, blonde came into my vision.

I stiffened, I didn’t know what to do, I cracked an eye open a little wider and unlike Finnick, Peeta’s whole attention is on me and no mercy to my heart, he’s smiling at me. Itch, itch ,itch. I bring my hand to my temple again, just as Peetas boot pushes against mine and it’s gone, my head snaps up to him. He’s looking at me with a calculating look, working out easily what was going through my head. But at this moment, I wouldn’t even notice the itch my chest felt like it was going to burst.

Does he care that he makes my heart beat out of my chest? This feeling feels like it could physically kill me. “Cant sleep?” His voice is quiet but carried across the quiet walkway. No mention of our boots touching.

“Yeah, not the best place i’ve ever slept” I respond, I don’t want to shut him out. But I don’t know what to say, what did we use to talk about? Was that appropriate now?

He doesn’t say anything for a moment and just stares at me, did I mess up? God, so many questions when it came to him. Yet I knew one thing was certain, my heart adored him.

“Ask me a question” This time his voice isn’t quiet due to his whisper, his words are a breath and have goosebumps rising all over. You don’t deserve him. Its voice is so distant I almost don’t make it out.

Ask me a question. His voice rings louder in my head, suppressing the voice as I let my eyes meet his as I think, what? What could I possibly-

“Right, because we’re going to pull off what we did last year. Please tell me you didn’t come all this way to tell me fantasies” My voice slams into me, but not like normal, no, I remember this.

The night we learnt we were going back in, I’d run from the tv and fallen on my knees in the backyard of my victors home and wept for hours. Even after there was nothing left to cry I sat there.

And of course, when he could have been down the street at his own house, worrying instead he had found himself here.

“They’re not fantasies, we don’t have to let them win” He whispered, probably not wanting to scare me but I was terrified, absolutely terrified that he might die.

“Stop being stupid, okay. Just stop.” I look at him over my shoulder, “Just go back to your house and forget about me so it’s easier in a couple months ” I spit the words, hateful hateful words but I won’t have him feeling a connection to me, not if it costs him his life.

“For me? Or for you?” I shoot a harsher glare at him now, but my thoughts ring sadder thoughts, both of us.

“For you!” He chuckles, he actually freaking chuckles. That makes me shoot to my feet as I skin on my heels. And there he is, Peeta Mellark is laughing! “Are you seriously laughing?!”

He shakes his head, the laughter dying but the smile remains “You seriously don’t know do you?”

I cross my arms over my chest as I glare at him, “If you’re trying to be funny right now, it’s not working.” He sighs, taking a step forwards me, I take a step back “I told you to go”

“And why was that again?” He asked, tapping his chin. God, I hated him when he knew more than me in a situation like this, he became so confident, so hard to resist.

My neck flushed and slowly creeped to my cheeks as I clenched my fists at my side “You need to leave so you can kill me when the time comes” I say the words plain and simple, his smile final drops.

And suddenly I’m more frustrated because he’s right in front of me, for once he’s feet seemed to have made a silent approach and I can no longer find my breath as his hand slowly comes to my cheek as his thumb brushes the skin under my eye.

His blue eyes are all I see and want to see forever, and then he’s speaking “It’s too late for that, sweetheart” My heart explodes.

And somehow I choke out “Explain” He laughs, it’s deeper this time and heat explodes, all I want is him.

“I love you, Jude. More than I ever thought possible” My mouth hangs open and he smiles wider, pressing his hand under my chin to shout my mouth before leaning forward and kissing me softly.

His soft lips moving against mine, I never wanted to move away from the heat and softness he pressed upon me. I let my hands raise up his chest and catch in his curls at the nape of his neck before we finally pull away, and all I see is blue again.

Then I’m back, staring at those same blue eyes and I’ve realised how stupid i’ve been. Because he’s looking at me the exact same way he looked at me back in my backyard.

“After the 75th Hunger Ganes was announced… You came to me and you-“

“Real. I told you that I love you more than I ever thought possible” I can’t breathe “And everyday you prove it to me more and more, Jude. I love you”

And I knew it deep down, that he wasn’t lying that he never was lying. And I also already know my response, the warmth rushes in blaring out the itch in my skull for what feels like maybe forever but before I can speak there’s a whisper that makes me freeze.

Katniss. Peeta. No! No, they couldn’t be back. Katniss. Peeta. Katniss- It repeats over and over again, I slam my hands over my ears knowing it won’t-

It worked. There’s silence, I look up at Peeta and he looking at me, not in fear but concern. I remoce my hands and get to my feet “Peeta.” I whisper, staring down the staircase. I feel though, that feeling of pure and unadultured rage.

It’s not coming from me though, I throw my head over my shoulder at Katniss “Both of you, go now! The rest of us will be behind you!” I demand, tightening my hands on the chain from the restrain, needing somehting solid for whatever the hell was about to go down.

“Keep your voice down!” Gale whispers harshly as I glare at him.

“They’ve released mutts! These things were made to kill them, I don’t think our voices matter, what does matter is moving.” I bring my eyes back to Katniss and Peeta, they both look too worried about everyone else and not about themselves “Pollux you know a way out?” He nods, “Follow him and get out! Go!”

Quickly Pollux ran out, Katniss and Peeta right behind him while the rest of quickly followed, I didn’t know where everyone was but I knew Pollux and Gale had the front while Jackson watched our backs.

Gale shot a fire arrow further into the tunnel, helping us see ahead, luckily nothing was there but I could feel them still, I couldn’t hear the voices rather feel them bouncing off the walls, it left me cold and terrified.

In a matter of seconds his arrow went out and we were plunged into darkness, once again the tiny flashlights being our only light. We continued cautiously, Gale shooting whenever we came to a cross roads to make sure nothing jumped out at us.

I almost internally screamed when we had to watch Pollux climb through an opening and wait for him to give the all clear, I’d just gotten to know Pollux and from his history.

I didn’t want to know what person i’d become if he died like this, my breath released when he came back and gave us a thumbs up, and slowly we all climbed through, the restraint on my wrist didn’t make things easy as I misjudged the stretch of it as I went tumbling towards the ground but hands caught me and brought me back to my feet.

“At least your clumsiness hasn’t changed” Peeta jokes, dusting me off and returning to the group. I love you, Jude. I clenched my fists, After after after.

Katniss came through after me, the three of us coming together. A small smile coming to my face, this could be the future, the three of us together again. Including Finnick since there was no way he was getting rid of me now.

I glance over Katniss’s shoulder to make sure Jackson got through okay, just in time to watch four mutts jump from the darkness and tear her to shreds “Holy-“ I don’t get time to finish before Katniss his pulling back and arrow and launching it.

An explosive arrow.

She flies back from the blow, slamming into me and then Oeeta but somehow he manages to keep us all up right and yells “Go! Run!” And we don’t think twice, I pay respects to Jackson in my mind.

Another person dead who saved my life, when would it be my turn?

The sounds of rushed footsteps in the water and yelling was all that occurred within the next few minutes, I couldn’t tell if we were even following the right path at this point or just running for survival.

Screeches sounded from all over and I couldn’t tell what tunnel the mutts would shoot out from, then a scream sounded behind me “Castor!”

The words left an ice over my skin, as I spun to see mutts crawling over each other to get to Castor, who in no way could be alice anymore. Finnick ran into me and didn’t waste a second to drag me along with him.

So many dead, dead, dead. I shook my head, finally picking up my feet and racing alongside Finnick and Gale.

Being restraint was definitely the stupidest decision I had made, all I could do was run as the others fought off the mutts. Though losing Castor somehow Pollux still managed to lead the charge, finally pointing to a ladder in the middle of a room… that had four entrances.

Instantly the mutts rushed in, Katniss and Pollux went to firing arrows and bullets at them, keeping most of them at bay, Peeta spraying his automatic, taking out a fair amount until it clicked and it began to ram it into any white heads he saw. Finnick doing the same with his golden spinning trident, he was a dancer with that thing.

I kept my eyes alert, ready for anything to come for me as I glanced at the entrances, hoping more of our group turned up… Cressida still wasn’t here.

But my mind went blank from eveyrthing as I heard a yell, a mutt had Peeta pressed to the wall. His arm the only thing keeping it away, I froze. I had nothing to help him with, nothing, nothing- My gaze meets my restraint.

And in that moment of thought, I’m running and jumping onto to the mutts back, wrapping my restraint around its neck and pulling, not expecting the attack it easily falls backwards, causing its weight to fall onto me.

Ouch, is all I can think as the wind is knock out of me and it spins in my grasp and suddenly my hands are the only things keeping it away l “Holy shit! Holy shit” I scream as it snaps his jaws at me, pure and unadulterated terror causes through me.

Katniss jumps into the brawl to my thanks and sends her foot into his face, sending it sprawling as I scrambled away, only for another to leap from the water. I didn’t even realise the water was deep enough for that!

It’s long fingers latch onto my ankle and drag me, without thinking I spin and scratch at the floor for any surface to grab but there’s nothing, I look up, blue. “Peeta!”

“Jude!” And then i’m underwater.

— —

I yanked upward, gasping for air as my eyes adjusted to the pure chaos still ensuing taking in whose in front of me, somehow I find it in me to smile “Cressida”

She smiles back, quickly shooting something behind me “Reunion later, duck!” I do as told as she shoots again but my luck has run out, while she’s not looking one leaps at me, sending me onto to my side as I reached up with both hands, sending the restraint strap into its razor sharp mouth.

Within a second it’s teeth have torn it to nothing and now there’s nothing blocking it from- Peetas gun comes down and smacks it off me as he drags me to my feet “You okay?!”

“Let’s get the hell out of here now!” He nodded, no doubt agreeing before latching my now free hand with his before he began to swing his weapon at anything that was in our way, Cressida was helping others up the ladder as we made our way.

I looked over my shoulder wuickly to see Finnick wielding his spinning trident, he was incredible to watch as he tore down mutt after mutt, he yelled somehting at Katniss causing her to run towards the ladder… Without him.

“We can’t leave Finnick!” I yelled over the screeching to Peeta, he glanced over his shoulder before killing another two mutts.

“We don’t have time! Finnick can protect himself” But that wasn’t good enough, I raced in front of Peeta running to the bottom of the ladder, praying Peeta kept any mutts from getting to me for the moment.

“Cressida, your gun!” The moment the words left my mouth I knew the request wouldn’t be accepted, I’d be a psychotic case days ago there’s no way, suddenly a gun dropped into my hands. “Thank you!”

I turn around to face Peeta, knowing for the moment that he was right. Finnick could protect himself, I shot at any mutts that were close to Peeta before ushering him over, planning on sending him up and staying to help Finnick get up.

“I can get him and I both up, you go” Peeta says quickly taking the gun from me without fight since I wasn’t expecting it, I almost want to fight for it back but a mutt comes for me and he quickly pushes me behind him to shoot it before turning back to me “You won’t sacrifice yourself for this, I won’t let you”

I stiffen at that, glancing over at Finnick whose slowly started to make his way over to us, and then I look back at Peeta “Don’t you dare die, Peeta” And then I climbed up the ladder, quickly being pulled up by Katniss and Cressida.

My heart hurt at the lack in number that now looked back at me as I finally let out a breath and feeling a chill wash over me from my wet clothes and hair but my heart stilled, Pollux was sat crying… Castor.

I would be the same if those two boys don’t climb up that ladder, I spun on my butt to watch the hatch Id crawled from, they had to make it. They both had to make it…

The moments ticked by and the screeching only got worse as the bullets flew until they stopped and I finally gave up- Finnick sprung from the hatch, quickly pulled himself up and rolling, my heart leapt as I kept watch not letting myself hope and then the blonde comes and I want to cry tears of joy.

“Nightlock, Nightlock, Nightlock” Katniss quickly says, dropping the holo into the hatch and killing the rest of the mutts that deigned to follow us.

Finnick smiles at me, opens his mouth to no doubt play off the whole situation but my arms are around him and i’m crying, I can’t stop. Everything over the past few days has built and built and built til this moment and I nearly lost them… Finnick and Peeta. My head shot up, locking eyes with him. I raised my right arm and quickly tossed it around Peeta, though there wasn’t much room we made it work. They were alive.

“I knew you loved me” Finnick sighs out as I let myself chuckle and pull away, letting myself hit him “Ow! I could be a hit from death y’know!”

I let out a breath “I wanna punch you but I am so glad you’re still here to annoy me”

“Are you guys always-“ Peeta begins with a smile but he’s cut off.

“Guys! We gotta go, they’re here.” Gales alarmed voice breaks the few moments of content, but we’re straifht to our feet and following the rest of the group “Keep Moving!”

I lose Finnick and Peeta as Gale is rushing us into a hall full of hundreds of orange pillars, and when things couldn’t get worse Peacekeepers began to rain down bullets.

“Don’t let them escape!” I hear a muffled voice as another volley of bullets fly but i’m frozen at the doorway, everything in my body is telling me to move but I can feel the itch grab its hold.

Let them get you, you deserve everything that is coming to you.

Suddenly a hand latches on to me, my eyes dart up and see brown, It’s Messalla, we hadn’t spoken but he’d come back for me “Come on, kid!”

He doesn’t waste a moment, dragging my dead feet behind him, somehow dodging the bullets, he picked up his paste now and once my legs got moving he finally let me go.

“Alright, almost there we just got to-“ Suddenly some of the numerous lights I hadn’t noticed turn on, including the one right on top of Messalla.

The beam sucks up his entire form, evaporating him in seconds. Just like that, another one of us is dead. I want to freeze and scream at the peacemakers thinking that any of this was okay, but i’ve got too much momentum, I would meet the same end. Yes… The pressure in my head isn’t an itch, it’s almost stroking, pleased to finally get what it wants.

I try to plant my feet into the ground but it’s too close and i’m going too fast. I slam my eyes shut at the smallest hint of heat before i’m grabbed by my elbow and pulled to my right.

I hear a few of my hairs singe in the light before my body is getting pulled again. NO. I wince, letting my free hand dart to my temple as my feet matched the ones beside me, but my foot catches but the arm that saved me once, pull me up and balance me.

“I got you!” Finnick yells over the chaos, weaving through the flickering lights as i try to grasp the last two minutes. He’d saved my life, it wouldn’t be the first time, I shake my head knowing the more I let my own voice torment me its wish will come true. Knowing if the others were okay would help but I can’t see anyone else, the lights so bright I had to look away whenever they turned on.

It was better i focused on Finnick and I and hope the others make it until I see Cressida umoving, looking passed me with a horrified look. Messalla… I feel guilt rise in me but I still grab her as we pass, I couldn’t lose her too. Not Cressida. “Come on! I’m sorry but come on!” I yell to her and we’re finally making progress through the hall when a crack sounds behind us.

Though I know whatever I find behind me won’t be good I look anyways, in sections the floor cracks and shatters, slowly and slowly makes it way too us. All of this to kill you, stop fighting.

I grit my teeth, turning my head forward and pushing my body as fast as it could go, I wouldn’t die here. But it’d be better for all of them if you did… It grows louder each time, flashes of me kicking Mitch into the oil comes back to me and my hand reaching for Peetas throat. No, no, no, no.

Peeta, Katniss and Gale stand waving their hands at us but I can’t hear them, Give up, give up, give up. It screams now. The shattering behind us gets worse as I dodge left to miss a light, a bullet skims past my ear, I keep running. Give up, Give up ,GIVEUPGIVEUPGIVEUP.

I crumble to the floor, pressing my forehead to the ground, begging begging begging, it to stop. I slam my eyes shut, covering my ears praying they would just stop. YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED, DIE, DIE. Snows voice is harsh and shatters my skull as I cry out, no no no no, it was meant to be gone. It couldn’t be back, I couldn’t take it if it was back.

I reach for my heart-

Hands quickly lifted me up my arms, and then suddenly their hands meet my cheeks and everything is silent, my eyes snap open as whimpers leave my lips uncontrollably, blue is everywhere and I want to crawl into a ball again, he should never have to see me like this, not after I gave him so much hope…

“We’re nearly out of here okay?” I don’t respond, my eyes darting all over his face but my hand lays forgotten at my side. “I can’t lose you, Jude. Not again, alright, I-“ He looked utterly terrified, but continued anyway “I love you” And then, his lips were on mine and my mind clicked, warmth spread from my head to my toes. I love you, it repeated over and over in my head like a symphony. And I love him.

Peeta’s never lied to me, and I know in this moment, if I took my Nightlock pill I’d be killing him all the same. He was my life just as much as I was his, every breath I took was for him and I’d keep fighting. For him.

I smiled lightly when he pulled away before whispering “I love you too”

He squeezed my cheek a little tighter, whether he knew the way his touch effected me I didn’t know but I was grateful all the same when he let go and intertwined our hands within the second.

“I’m definitely not losing you now” And my heart exploded in joy.

———

part (1, 2, 3, 4)

I CAN NOT APOLOGISE ENOUGH AND MORE BECAUSE PART 4 ISNT DONE IK IM SORRY, ITS ALREADY HALFWAY DONE BUT IM SO SORRY GUYS

IDK WHAT HAPPENED TIME IS MOVING WAYYYY TO QUICKLY😭

taglist baddies: @yazminetrahan @solarbxby @abbersreads @antonietta18 @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @imobssesedwithtoomanysheet @sipsthecoffee @life-ugh @sunnydays-funnydays @bilesxbilinskixlahey @sadierosec @molyyyt @goosy-goose @beaniebeensbaby201

(i promise i tried to add everyone that commented to be added but some of you i couldn’t find xx)

[posallys]

ok 1 ur desktop theme is GORG and 2 i need (if u wanna) ur thoughts about the show (or show sally in gen bc ur the only one i trust with her)

thank you!! i was actually thinking about updating it but maybe i wont 🤭🤭 and i have a lot of thoughts about the show except none only very few of them are good and i will be crucified by the 13-year-olds

im going to tell you anyway.

i will start with something i like....percy being angry. like yes give me the anger of a 12 year old who feels utterly alone in the world and doesn't understand (or does and it makes him more angry)

the fight scenes are dog shit. the only kind of cool one was in the arch but it was only cool because of percy doing the bait and switch and falling through the arch...the fights are bland boring sucky whatever other synonym you wanna use

uhhhhh sally jackson is not and would never be sitting in the rain pining of the god she told to leave....and especially not to teen pop...if she WERE going to act like a 16 year old and do the pining thing it would be to fucking like...billy joel and ricky martin and donny hathaway and stuff llike that okay...

i will preface this by saying that yes i understand that talking back to an abuser the way sally does in ep 1 doesn't make the abuse less abusive....however i DO not like the fact that that scene explicitly goes against sally characterization in the books....i am not digging my book out atm but the part where percy is like "my mother has never raised her voice or said an unkind word to anyone"....me thinks the writers all read the books 10 years ago and are going off of memory alone + or their brains are so clouded by the obsessive Big Screen Need to make women a badass girlboss slay queen i fucking hate it here

LET ANNABETH BE SILLY AND FUNNY AND CUTE AND CRY AND NOT BE AN ADULT THANK YOU....hated that they made annabeth the one to realize that it was medusa and not grover...give me back grover having to wrangle percy and annabeth into backpack leashes just to keep them on task/stop them from wandering off...book trio i miss you

i absolutely ADORE leah, walker, and aryan though the three of them are so so perfect, A+ casting no notes couldn't have done it better myself. if it weren't for the three of them i would have zero hope for the show i cannot lie...they're carrying. without them it's just..bad.

the pacing???? bad.

why did we waste half of the 4th ep on the train with echidna...stupid dumb pointless i hate it here

i do like the whole not all monsters are monsters and the gods aren't inherently good just because they're gods thing they've got going on though...very inch resting...silently hoping that they do a complete 180 and have percy side with luke and redo the series from there because that would be iconic as fuck <3 a girl can dream because at least then i could take the show at face value and not take 80 health damage every time they mess up a key part of the books...im at -29834 heath rn.

where was the time at chb before the quest??? the oh so important vital scene where luke teaches percy to sword fight???? like BRO that's soooooooooooo important to ME how could you get rid of that

not having annabeth show percy around camp

additionally, not having annabeth feed him the nectar and ambrosia, WHICH BY THE WAY they haven't even mentioned in the show yet...plot armor gone rip

not the fredrick chase sympathy while simultaniously blaming the woman...........rick when i get my hands on you...

annabeth having to EARN thalia's love??? absolutely not probably one of their biggest fuck ups fr.

the scene where sally is talking about Poseidon to percy...i do not like it sam i am. bad. not wistful enough not longing enough not sad enough not gut wrenching enough...also not completely here for sally telling percy that his dad was a god because....sallys whole thing was NOT telling him in order to keep him safe...i know they changed it in the show so sally knew he was going to camp immediately but that does not mean i have to like it

the scene with sally and percy in the pool. i hated everything about that. sally would never talk to percy like that never talk to him about money never make it seem embarassing NOT TO MENTION that percy simply wasn't scared of the water. that's stupid as fuck. theres a part in the book where percy literally says being by the water calms both him and his mom like...come the fuck on just admit you can't fucking read or at least didn't read the book.

sally annabeth get behind me so they cant hurt you anymore

i did loveeeee percy praying to sally though...absoutely insane and true of them. also the "I AM SALLY JACKSON'S SON" yesss baby you tell them about your mommy!!!!!!

them making athena moa level bad in tlt is quite interesting. setting up annabeth siding with percy pretty well.

also the whole impertinence thing over medusa's head was weird to me. when annabeth first said that i had immediately thought that annabeth's impertinence was telling percy to pray to poseidon IN ATHENA'S TEMPLE bc that made much more sense to me...but whatever

the annabeth/medusa parallel is intriguing at the very least

the underwater scene with the neraid was cool even though i hated the parallel to the pool scene w/ sally.

the dumbass pinecone fate line. 0/10 did you read the book? did you pay attention to how empathetic and reflective percy was when he found out about thalia?

honestly....i think disney was just the wrong place to go with this show because it's like what...pg? it should be pg 13 and should have more... sustenance.

this medusa was so cool though. which we could've seen a fight.

i need to know how many women are in the writer's room though...because It Does Not Look Good. funny how the characters that they're fucking up are all women....crazy. weird. totally coincidental.

are we just not going to talk about the vitality and pressure of getting the bolt back on time? where is the inherent inevitable danger, the suspense, the fear of not accomplishing a seemingly impossible talk looming over everything

this is 10000% not all of my thoughts but im not going to rewatch in order to collect them all so this is what you get xoxox

[gummie-cat]

Pizza and secrets.

Desc: Charlie finds you diary and reads what you wrote about him in it.

warnings: Kissing, making out, closeted feelings, fluff, crushes

—————————————————————————

After school you normally had Charlie over. it was a basic routine you've had in place since the 6th grade. And its now your senior year in high school and you're still doing the same practice. Today your guys agreement was to study. You both knew you wouldn't end up studying and you'd just get distracted but you enjoyed the company. Especially when its a guy you like.

You guys finally got out of school and were rushing to your car which was parked in the student lot off to the side of the school. You were so excited to get home. You absolutely HATED your school. "soooo what did you need help studying with again?" Charlie asked as soon as you guys sat down in the car. "just some homework shouldn't take long." You say as you start up your car and put some music on.

When you guys finally make it to your house the shut off the car and go inside. Both you and Charlie make a b-line to the kitchen to pig out. You see your mom sitting at the kitchen table doing some work (you assume) and say hi. "honey, me and your father are going out in a few for our anniversary. we probably wont be back until late can you please let out and feed the dog?" your mom said following slowly behind you guys as you made your way to the kitchen. "Yeah sure thing mom." You say opening the fridge and pulling out the lemonade. Charlie grabs 2 cups and slides them over to you. "Oh and by the way Charlie can stay over if you want because its a Friday." Your mom adds as she walks away going to her room to get ready.

You nod and you and Charlie walk up to your room with your stuff. "so what class is the homework for? or did you just fool me." Charlie says taking a seat at your desk and turning to face you. "I do actually have homework thank you very much. its for fucking geometry." you say sitting criss cross on your bed. "here lemme see if i can help." He says as he rolls your desk chair next to your bed. You pull out the paper and hand it to him and he takes one quick glance at it and says “yeah fuck no.” as rolls away back to your desk. “ughhhh” you exclaim as you toss the paper to the side. “ya know what. im gonna go order pizza. you stay here loser” You say as you get up and leave your room. “REMBER TO GET-“ you cut him off before he can finish “HALF PEPPERONI GOT IT.” you say marching down the stairs.

You pick up the phone and dial the local pizza place number and place your order. You then walk slowly upstairs and when you get to your bedroom door entrance you see Charlie flipping though and reading your diary. ‘SHIT. i left it out’ you think to yourself as you walk up and snatch it out of his hands. “Jesus y/n…” He says clutching his chest like you just scared him. “Stop snooping around in my room.” You tell him hitting him on the head with it. “Correction, i wasnt snooping. It just so happened to be on your desk.” He said puffing out his chest a little. You roll you eyes dramatically “are you done?” you say crossing your arms. “not yet… did you mean what you said about me? like all the ‘being jealous of kirby because im obsessed with her’?” He replies looking at you seriously. You blush and curse yourself for allowing you to leave your diary out and for this situation to happen. “Maybe…” you say nervously. Afraid of loosing a life long friendship. “So you meant what you said when you said you would kiss me?” He says. Now getting up from your desk chair and inching closer to you. “i- uhm… maybe?” You say obviously blushing even harder. You just wanted to die because of the embarrassment. If he told anyone you would never hear the end of if. “so would it be okay if i kissed you now?” He said slowly walking up to you and stroking your arm gently waiting for your response. But you’re dumbfounded. You can barely think. “y-yes…” you say growing redder and redder by the second.

He pulls you in by the jaw and kisses your lips passionately. Then he pulls back and smiles at you. “w-why’d you stop?” You say looking up into his eyes. “because i wanted to make sure you were okay and i didn’t want to assume you wanted to make out… which now im sensing was what you thought was going to happen.” He said smiling softly chuckling lightly. “I mean I did but like only if you wanted to because i want you to fee-“ you’re cut of by his mouth making contact with yours again. But a lot more aggressive this time. You quickly gather a rhythm and he starts to slip you his tongue. God you’re melting and your core is starting to become soaked just from getting touched the tiniest bit. He bites your lip and you whimper. He quickly swallows your whimpers and grins against your mouth. He starts to walk you back towards the bed and you fall on your back. He pins you to the bed and he starts kissing you. Slowly moving down to your jaw and then you neck to find your sweet spot. He knows he finds it because you whimper his name weakly. And once he finds it he abuses it. He starts sucking and nibbling quickly relieving the bite with his tongue. Meanwhile your whimpering his name as you become needy and sensitive. Suddenly you hear the doorbell. The pizza. He lifts his head from your neck and turns back around to face your bedroom door. “That must be the pizza huh?” He says looking back at you and grinning. “yeah uhm we should probably…” you say gesturing to your guys’s position. “Oh yeah right.” He says getting up and stumbling a little bit. Scratching the back of his next nervously he has a stupid look on his face. You cant help but give him a little smile before running down and paying for the pizza and bringing it back up to your room. You find charlie waiting on the bed for you. You bring the pizza box over and pop a movie on your tv. But its just background noise as you snuggle up into his arms. “ya know… im not obsessed with kirby.” He speaks up over the stupid show you guys are watching. “huh? what do you mean?” You say lifting your head to look at him. “I mean i wasn’t obsessed with kirby this whole time… i was obsessed with you. It was just a cover up. I love you” you snuggle up more into his side. “ I love you too Charlie.” You slowly close your eyes and fall asleep.

————————————————

word count: 1200 words

A/N: okay so it wasnt really smut but this is what i wanted to start it off with. I’ll work on one thats a lil more smutty next time but yeah hope you enjoyed :) I know this is a bjt short but ive been having sum writers block so i hope you enjoyed!!

this was also posted to my wattpad @Alex66035

[dufferpuffer]

First of all, I need to express my love for you and how grateful I am for your deep understanding of Lupin and Snape's characters. You're the first person I see that loves them both while also acknowledging their flaws and not trying to sugarcoat Lupin's toxicity (again, thank you)

Secondly, it is because of your great comprehension towards them that I'd like to see your opinion on this. We don't talk enough about Lupin's shitty and completely uncalled for behaviour towards Snape during PoA (and just how well Snape handles it, because God knows most people would have snapped, and he had more reasons than anyone to do so, but only intervened when CHILDREN'S safety was compromised)

What do you think would've happened in a world where, instead of taking Lupin's bullying and mocking during PoA, he returns it just as smoothly and doesn't just let the man walk over him? What of an alternative universe where Snape just says "you know what? Fuck it, I'm a loser but you're no better" and despite still being terrified afraid of Lupin, he also resents him and subtly puts him back in his place every time he pulls the usual shit? (While also keeping his distance because he doesn't want that man anywhere near him)

Would have Lupin gotten angry? Would he get cold feet and keep the distance too because he can't handle Snape actually fighting back? Would this turn into a toxic asf enemies to lovers dynamic with all the passive-agressive exchanges, backhanded compliments and constant fight for dominance in the situation?

Seriously, love your blog 💕 Hope you're well and thriving

Thankyou for the love :') I love the boys, and without their complex layers of toxicity and trauma the boys just wouldn't be The Boys anymore. Lupin's softness is nothing without his sharp edges after all. Its been awhile since I read PoA. Its the next one i'm reading to my boyfriend. But this is a really interesting fic idea!!! Such a small change - but potential big consequences...? Remus is a coward, but in PoA he was spoiled with getting his own way - and things generally went really well for him. I flicked through some of the chapters where they interact, so this isn't perfect - but what if Snape did snap back every time Remus tried to press him...? He was told to keep the werewolf's secret - not to allow himself to be bullied again. ((This this turned into a looooong look into their dynamic. Oopsy.))

Remus Lupin and the Nasty Man who Wont Let Things be Easy for Him

Chapter 7,

Remus arrives ~fashionably late~ to class so he can surprise the kids: 'only bring your wands (no lame textbooks) for a practical.' He is confident, a little playful - dealing with Peeves effortlessly. (His father specialized in things like poltergeists and boggarts, after all.) The kids think he is cool! He already knows all their names! He is glowing with pride just to be there. So adorable I love him. He has 100% been bouncing on his heels with nerves and excitement to teach this lesson. There is no way he was ACTUALLY late - he just wanted to appear aloof.

He wants to be cool - and fun - and comforting - and safe: Why else have the first lesson be getting the kids to face the scariest thing they can imagine under HIS warm protection...? Albus is definitely his role model - they have the same manipulation tactics. Very different to Snapes 'get it right or else' lesson beforehand. He is safe. He is SO safe. He is The Safest Man. He's learned all their names already, isn't that nice of him?? Now he can learn all their fears, too - and he can soothe them!!! How well planned, Mr Lupin… Warm, soft, fluffy Mr. Lupin. So capable and so sweet… He could NEVER be a monster! Nobody will EVER suspect he is a monster...

As Professor Lupin came in and made to close the door behind him, Snape said, ‘Leave it open, Lupin. I’d rather not witness this.’ He got to his feet and strode past the class, his black robes billowing behind him. At the doorway he turned on his heel and said, ‘Possibly no one’s warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.’ Neville went scarlet. Harry glared at Snape; it was bad enough that he bullied Neville in his own classes, let alone doing it in front of other teachers. Professor Lupin had raised his eyebrows. ‘I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation,’ he said, ‘and I am sure he will perform it admirably.’ Neville’s face went, if possible, even redder. Snape’s lip curled, but he left, shutting the door with a snap.

Though Snape was still being nasty about the previous lesson - this was a HELPFUL comment more than it was a jeer at Neville. He almost didn't say anything at all - but turned on his heel at the last second. He knows Remus was irresponsible with danger in his youth and is new to teaching. So he gives him a tip: 'Longbottom is difficult to manage. Granger is capable and trustworthy. Pair them together if you must.'

...Honestly he was basically setting Lupin up to look good. Anything Remus said would have seemed lovely, even a terse "Yes, well, thankyou Professor. We will see about that." ...But Lupin politely and confidently spat back. Always politely. He wasn't rude to Snape, but the meaning was clear: 'Back off, Severus. I decide what my students can handle.'

Snape's lip curled. (That's his version of a sneering little smile) 'Oh yeah? Good luck with that.' The amount of body language these men talk through, both masters of hiding their intentions and emotions with masks - they fence with words and actions.

How could Snape snap back without seeming like he was lashing out...? Remus bullies by asserting dominance in a way that makes others seem like they're being mean to gentle widdle Wupin if they retaliate, or are being silly if they defend themselves. Remus is desperate for his students to have confidence in him. To think of him as their sweet savior. To soothe his worries of posing a danger to them, of being rejected, of being suspected…

Snape’s lip curled. "…Then I wish you good luck, Mr. Wolf." he drawled as he left, shutting the door with a snap.

…Maybe that treads the line of what he is allowed to say. Remus would scramble to Dumbledore's office in a panic, to get him to warn Severus not to play silly games... but he would have to do that later, in secret - away from the kids. In the immediate - he would stammer to remind them: "Of course, Lupin means 'Wolf' in French… Snape is just making a little joke!" But god, what a way to knock him off-balance-!

I don't think it will change how the lesson goes. If anything, Lupin will be more keen to push Neville to humiliate Snape via his Boggart. Especially knowing he will soon be seeing Snape's lip curl in triumph as he gets told off by Dumbledore - because Remus snitched. How humiliating, getting a 'teacher' involved. (They're little boys at heart.) There is nothing Snape likes more than humiliating a bully. Every time 'Boggart' is mentioned Snape has the sweet memory of seeing Lupin look so pathetic in-front of Dumbledore, his role model. Every time a kid calls him 'Mr Wolf' as a joke... Remus will have to pretend he 'doesn't mind much', but gently insist they use his real name, please. He will know to tread carefully around Severus.

Chapter 8,

Harry is at a low point emotionally. He is having a good chat with Lupin, who seems to understand him better than other teachers. Though, Lupin is still speaking vaguely, making allusions - much like Dumbledore.

'Sit down,’ said Lupin, taking the lid off a dusty tin. ‘I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid – but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?’ Harry looked at him. Lupin’s eyes were twinkling. ‘How did you know about that?’ Harry asked.

If it didn't say 'Lupin' you'd 100% believe Albus said that - complete with twinkling eyes and an awestruck Harry. ((This is making me wanna do a whole thing comparing how Albus and Remus act)) Anyway - In this cozy atmosphere, where Remus is enjoying being the object of Harry's awe, and not telling him he was his parents' close friend...

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. ‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape set the smoking goblet down, his eyes wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. ‘Fascinating,’ said Snape, without looking at it. ‘You should drink that directly, Lupin.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will,’ said Lupin. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘If you need more.’ ‘I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus.’ ‘Not at all,’ said Snape, but there was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. He backed out of the room, unsmiling and watchful. Harry looked curiously at the goblet. Lupin smiled.

Aka. Severus walks into the beasts den and finds a pup. Have you ever seen Severus act so polite? So appeasing? So... dare I say... submissive? Even Harry knew something was up - worried Snape was acting meek because he was trying to POISON Remus. (Only in his dreams.)

And Remus-! All smiles! Harry is looking into the goblet? SMILE! 'I was showing HARRY, who is here in my office with us RIGHT NOW, my Grindylow! ...Oh, 'my' potion? Yes, yes... how kind. Lovely. Marvelous. Please and Thankyou and GET OUT.' Antsy. On edge. Calm twinkling eyes are now jaw-clenching smiles.

Lupin drained the goblet and pulled a face. ‘Disgusting,’ he said. ‘Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you at the feast later.’

'How lovely Severus is to brew this innocent potion! I shall drink it now! Teehee, its a bit yucky~ Anyway Harry YOU SHOULD LEAVE.'

He just made the boy some tea, ready to have a heart-to-heart... and because Severus came in with his wolfsbane: screaming internally. On any other day, with any other person, Severus would have struck his pitchfork right into his chest and turned him over like hay. They are both defensive here. Cats circling each-other. Severus is SO spooked due to it being close to the Full Moon, entering a private room with Remus - and now having to speak carefully because The Lad is there - he just allows Remus to be the boss 'Yes, sir - on the desk? Of course...' He just wants to leave. No waxing gibbous werewolf temper. Adios.

...What about a Severus that see's Remus' fear of not being in control of the information in the room - of having Harry ask questions? How about he uses his own discomfort to fuel being a little bugger?

‘Come in,’ called Lupin. The door opened, and in came Snape. He was carrying a goblet, which was smoking faintly, and stopped at the sight of Harry, his black eyes narrowing. ‘Ah, Severus,’ said Lupin, smiling. ‘Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?’ Snape walked up to desk, his eyes curiously wandering between Harry and Lupin. ‘I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,’ said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank. 'Right here would be marvelous.' He patted the the edge of the desk furthest from Harry with his fingertips. ‘...I rather think you should drink it now.’ said Snape, ignoring it completely. ‘Your little chat can wait till you recover, surely.’ ‘Yes, yes, I will-’ Lupin seemed a little flustered. His eyes darted to Harry's, and for a moment he thought he could see fear. Harry's stomach dropped a little as he peered curiously at the goblet. ‘I made an entire cauldronful,’ Snape continued. ‘Since you will be needing more than this for your... particular condition-’ ‘Yes, Thankyou, Severus.' Lupin spoke firmer now, cutting him off. Harry had never seen his gaze look so sharp. 'I'll take more tomorrow, then.’ There was an odd standoff between them. Snape's head tilted as he opened his hand for the goblet, but kept his distance. The edge of Lupin's smile strained for a moment before he tipped the strange, steaming brew back and started to drink. Harry had a mad urge to knock the goblet out of his hands. ‘Ugh... Pity sugar makes it useless...’ he almost choked taking one last hurried gulp, leaning to hand the smoking goblet over. ‘Indeed. A pity.’ said Snape, lip curling into a smug hook. There was a look in his eye Harry didn’t like. 'Potter - I highly recommend you leave the Professor alone now to rest.' He turned sharply, cloak flowing behind him as he left. The smoke left a funny smell in his wake. Harry looked to Lupin. There was so much to say he was tongue tied! Does he warn him that Snape wants his job? Does he ask about the potion? A part of him even wanted to comfort his teacher. Adults didn't usually have this much trouble with Snape... ‘Well, Harry, he is right - I’ve been feeling a bit off-colour recently. I’ll see you at the feast later.’ Lupin stood quickly, gesturing him to leave. ‘...Right,’ said Harry, putting his empty teacup down.

I think, if anything, Harry being there would have made Severus bolder. Remus, at the end of the day, can't bring himself to start fights. To refuse to drink the potion would make him look like a child. Rather than seeming like he has a foot up on Snape he now seems a little... pathetic. Infront of the boy he wanted to impress.

Severus is cornering Remus to drain his confidence. He isn't threatening to out him - but he is speaking as if he might, keeping Remus on his toes while staying completely innocent. He is playing Remus' game against him, and is better at it. He has the advantage of far less to hide - and far less to prove.

Chapter 14,

This is the one where Remus and Snape have their grand sparring match about the Marauders Map, but I wanted to add something to what Snape says to Harry beforehand:

‘What did you say to me, Potter?’ ‘I told you to shut up about my dad!’ Harry yelled. ‘I know the truth, all right? He saved your life! Dumbledore told me! You wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for my dad!’ Snape’s sallow skin had gone the colour of sour milk. ‘And did the Headmaster tell you the circumstances in which your father saved my life?’ he whispered. ‘Or did he consider the details too unpleasant for precious Potter’s delicate ears?’ Harry bit his lip. He didn’t know what had happened and didn’t want to admit it – but Snape seemed to have guessed the truth. ‘I would hate you to run away with a false idea of your father, Potter,’ he said, a terrible grin twisting his face. ‘Have you been imagining some act of glorious heroism? Then let me correct you – your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn’t got cold feet at the last moment. There was nothing brave about what he did. He was saving his own skin as much as mine. Had their joke succeeded, he would have been expelled from Hogwarts.’ Snape’s uneven, yellowish teeth were bared.

I think Snape would actually be surprised that Lupin hadn't told Harry anything about his father. That HE had told him more about James than ANYONE else had bothered to! He would have expected Harry would now know all sorts of stories where they humiliated him... Unless maybe that was part of a deal? He doesn't talk about werewolves - Remus doesn't talk about his past...? Regardless - I don't think Snape would think it too revealing to say this:

'I suppose your new favourite teacher's painted a very different image of your father. All the better to win your precious trust.'

I think he would be confused that Harry was confused - before getting him to turn his pockets out. It would plant a seed of doubt in Harry's mind: Lupin was keeping BIG things from him.

He strode across to his fire, seized a fistful of glittering powder from a jar on the fireplace, and threw it into the flames. ‘Lupin!’ Snape called into the fire. ‘I want a word!’ Utterly bewildered, Harry stared at the fire. A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast. Seconds later, Professor Lupin was clambering out of the fireplace, brushing ash off his shabby robes. ‘You called, Severus?’ said Lupin mildly. ‘I certainly did,’ said Snape, his face contorted with fury as he strode back to his desk. ‘I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this.’ Snape pointed at the parchment, on which the words of Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were still shining. An odd, closed expression appeared on Lupin’s face. ‘Well?’ said Snape. Lupin continued to stare at the map. Harry had the impression that Lupin was doing some very quick thinking. ‘Well?’ said Snape again. ‘This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?’ Lupin looked up and, by the merest half glance in Harry’s direction, warned him not to interrupt.

First of all: "A large shape had appeared in it, revolving very fast." Excuse me? 'Revolving very fast?' What direction?? That's fucking hilarious

Severus knows that Lupin made this parchment. He recognized the nicknames. Snape is better with Dark Magic than Lupin, Harry especially suspects Snape is keen on Dark Magic - it is ridiculous to call Lupin there to inspect the map, and everyone knows it. Snape wants to corner Lupin (for once) and get him to slip up about letting Black into the castle. Remus, of course, puts on another mask so he doesn't react to anything - and shoots Harry an 'I've got this' glance. Which is all very well and good for a confident Remus that's had Severus under his heel all year... But OUR Severus? The Severus that's made Remus look (and feel) wimpy? ...I think they're both going to get a shock.

‘Full of Dark Magic?’ he repeated mildly. ‘Do you really think so, Severus? It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who tries to read it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke-shop –’ ‘Indeed?’ said Snape. His jaw had gone rigid with anger. ‘You think a joke-shop could supply him with such a thing? You don’t think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?’ Harry didn’t understand what Snape was talking about. Nor, apparently, did Lupin. ‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ Right on cue, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak. ‘I – gave – Harry – that – stuff,’ he choked. ‘Bought – it – in Zonko’s – ages – ago …’ ‘Well!’ said Lupin, clapping his hands together and looking around cheerfully. ‘That seems to clear that up! Severus, I’ll take this back, shall I?’ He folded the map and tucked it inside his robes. ‘Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus.’

To Harry - Lupin didn't seem to know what Snape was talking about. He is stunned as the teachers have their little battle - as Severus tries not to say too much, and Remus lies through his teeth about things he doesn't need to lie about. His name is written on it. Dumbledore would know who 'Moony' is. Given the chance to defend Lupin, Harry and the Weasleys would come clean on how they got it. But OUR Harry? He knows Lupin is keeping secrets. He cuts off conversations when he feels stressed, he stammers excuses for odd behaviour - and now Snape has suggested he knew James more intimately than just 'being friends at Hogwarts' - yet has told him nothing of note. He might be a little protective of Lupin, but he has never trusted any adult fully... and he is starting to smell the lies.

‘You mean, from Mr Wormtail or one of these people?’ he said. ‘Harry, do you know any of these men?’ ‘No,’ said Harry quickly. ‘You see, Severus?’ said Lupin, turning back to Snape. ‘It looks like a Zonko product to me –’ 'But you do, right? Professor?' Harry cut him off. The silence was palpable. Remus' soft smile was missing at he stared back, wide-eyed. Snape was just as speechless. He realized, with a sickening drop in his stomach, he had essentially just come to Snape's defense. Before anyone could say anything more, Ron came bursting into the office. He was completely out of breath, and stopped just short of Snape’s desk, clutching the stitch in his chest and trying to speak.

Harry does what Severus has done all year: Snapped back at Remus' attempts at bullshitting. It's Remus' fear: his student is suspicious of him. Severus is just plain confused. He never thought James Potter's son would jump in to take his side on anything... he hasn't had anyone on his side all year, either. Not that thats unusual. Is this history repeating? A Potter defending Severus from Remus...? Nah. Not quite. (Not posting the original quote - because it's long. Remus says he met the mapmakers, and that they would have wanted to lure Harry out - but otherwise just tells him off like a good little teacher - leaving Harry feeling guilty.)

Harry didn’t dare look at Snape as they left his office. He, Ron and Lupin walked all the way back into the Entrance Hall before speaking. Then Harry turned to Lupin. ‘So you do know them.’ Harry asked directly. 'That's why Snape called for you. Your name is on it.' Lupin looked pained for a moment, like he was sucking on a sherbert lemon. ‘That is correct.’ said Lupin shortly. He glanced around the empty Entrance Hall and lowered his voice. ‘I helped make the map. It was a long time ago. Last I knew of its whereabouts it was confiscated by Mr Filch.’ he said not looking any less pained about having to say it. Ron looked amazed, but Harry's expression hardened as Lupin continued. ‘I don’t want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn’t hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around.’ Harry was too keen for explanations to let him continue. ‘Why did you lie?’ Harry asked sharply. 'If Snape knows one of the names was you, why lie about it?' ‘Because …’ Lupin hesitated, for longer than was comfortable. ‘because... I didn't want you thinking I was suspicious.' Lupin smiled, chuckling slightly as he continued. 'Theres a dangerous man about, Harry! One who wants to lure you out of school-’ ‘One of your friends.’ said Harry, correcting him - and getting more indignant. 'Is his name on the map too? What about my father?' ‘...You're quite sharp, aren't you.’ he said slowly, his smile falling as he looked at Harry more seriously than ever before. 'Yes, they are. It was a long time ago, as I said.' 'Give it back.' Harry snapped, reaching for the map - but Lupin snatched it away. 'I can’t let you have it back, Harry.' Harry's jaw stiffened. Ron looked almost disgusted. 'You said his dad's, yeah? He has a right to it!' ‘I have a right to it too, as one of its makers!' Lupin stopped himself, as if catching that he sounded ridiculously petty. '...I covered for you, Harry - at risk to myself. You can't expect me to do it again. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.’ He walked away quickly, leaving no room for a response. Harry felt far worse than he had at any point in Snape’s office. 'Sounds more like he was covering for himself...' Ron mumbled, putting a hand on Harry's shoulder.

I wanted a Harry hurt by Remus' lies. Harry never quite see's his teachers bad qualities while he is at school - because he is only 13. But if Snape being a snappy little bugger has one consequence: It's eroding Remus' projection of a confident man without secrets. Harry can sometimes ignore things he isn't directly interested in, but he is interested in both Remus and Snape. He wouldn't miss that. With some added defensive Ron, because Ron is a good lad.

There are many ways to spin this to be more overt, I took a very soft-handed approach that hasn't ended up changing too much. Baseline, I think: Remus would bend the knee to Severus more often than not. His one true goal is to look good - and Severus' goal is to not let him do that. Snape is BETTER at these games than Remus is. Remus has Dumbledore on his side to stop Snape from getting too loose-lipped, but we all know Snape is clever, witty, petty and vindictive. He finds ways around the rules and does his best to get information to the children that will keep them safe. The only thing holding him back is a slight fear of Lupin. If Remus were to confront Snape, beyond dragging him into a Dumbledore meeting, it would be a 'pretending to be nice, full of backhanded-compliments and cheeky remarks' argument in private. In Snapes office, so Remus can leave rather than have to demand Snape leaves. Because the moment Snape actually becomes angry he would leave - with one last biting remark, so he can feel like he had the upper hand.

....Is this like.... what you wanted? I sorta fell off the deep end... I feel like I've been on some sort of bender...

[meiishu]

i have a theory on wylan and kaz in shadow and bone (the show)

Contains major spoilers for six of crows book if you havent read that and dont want spoilers about wylans backstory keep scrolling!

Rewatching episode 2 and im at the scene where the crows are at the diner, and kaz is teling the others that they cant just kill rollins. When kaz says “killing him wont clear our names…. and then we wont be able to protect you” he looks right at wylan who flinches back. I didnt catch it on my first watch (interpreted it as him talking to both wylan and nina in general) but now my brain is whirring

I think that, if we get the ice court heist, we are going to learn that wylan struck a deal with kaz for protection when he left his fathers home. If they stick as close to the book as possible for his backstory, then wylans dad tried to have him killed because he was in jan van ecks words “an embarrassment”. So when wylan escapes his fathers hired hands in the books he is protected by kaz *because* kaz knows who he is and decides to enlist the dregs protection on him since he thinks a merchers son could be useful

However

In the show, kaz doesnt run the dregs, i believe he just ran the crow club (evidenced by him first meeting and striking a deal with per husksoll in the early episodes of season 2). He wouldn’t have had the means or the power to just decide to protect this random boy who showed up in the barrel without a reason for it, even if he thought he might be useful someday

So i believe in the show, after he escaped his fathers hired help, wylan found kaz and struck a deal with him for protection from his father. And so in exchange, kaz can go to wylan for the bombs he needs, even though wylan doesn’t *really* want to help because he doesnt like what kaz uses them for. This would set up:

A) kaz knows wylans true identity. Hes always known since before even season one and also this is how kaz and wylan are already on personal terms AND how kaz knows he can trust the things wylan makes for him despite wylan’s reluctance to help

B) wylan’s hostage moment in the ice court heist. Although in the books its kind of surprising to the whole crows that jan van eck actually doesnt miss or care about wylan, the show could deviate slightly from this, or kaz could figure out the truth but not tell anyone and use it as his plan to expose jan van eck especially if jan tries to pull the pity card for his son

C) when it does come out that wylan is a van eck, especially since jesper doesnt know, when jesper finds out that kaz knew the whole time i can see that causing a huge rift between them, especially if kaz planned to use wylan as bait and *especially* if wesper is in an established relationship. Not only would jesper be upset if wylan volunteered himself for this, but that kaz even tried this at all when he knows that wesper is together. It will feel like such a betrayal to jesper. *especially* if the show has kaz almost coerce wylan *into* being bait — although i lean more towards wylan volunteering himself because i feel as though he would do that knowing kaz’s plan. Plus, wylan and kaz working together to one up jan??? PLEASE

Sorry for ranting on main cant help it im in shadow and bone brainrot i need the ice court heist and wylans backstory SO BADLY s&b NEEDS to be renewed

Also i just want to say that i highkey LOVE that wesper will be an established relationship going into the ice court heist. We have slow burn with kanej and helnik and certain scenes will hit so much harder with wesper as an established relationship. I cant wait to see how the show takes their story from here tbh since now we’re very deviating away from the books

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday

DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”

I literally can’t get over how good he sounds

AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!

Bro these songs SLAP

Damn Mariahs hair is so long

Pete is such a mood

I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad

BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER

Omg hey Kim

When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying

Omg Max likes Grace???????

Wait that’s so cute

Wait why’s he kinda fine

“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀

It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)

Damn these HARMONIES THO

My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO

I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE

The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.

“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Study date????????

Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

When Max enters and the crowd cheers

“Rondevuch”

Max literally has a God complex

Why is Kim everyones mom?

“Walen place”?????

“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED

NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN

LITERALLY WHAT

Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️

Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???

Laurens character is bisexual???????

“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character

Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually

Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore

Wait I kind of love Grace now

Mariah slays

“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think

I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…

I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn

“Skele-ens”

I need Max Jagerman actually

Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️

AW FUCK HE DIED

HOLY FUCK HE DIED

GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE

I love how upbeat this song is

WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF

Omg Dan and Donna!

Slay Mayor Lauter

His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”

THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀

FUCK CLIVESDALE

DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM

I like that the football team has only 2 players

I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good

Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP

Im literally so Gay bro

THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME

When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef

Please let Grace swear

Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away

Grace Chastity said “acab”

Cory needs more songs

MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!

Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍

GERALD OH MY GOD

Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.

Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR

The invisible bird. Literally high school theater

“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”

“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”

Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong

Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true

I know shes about to die rn

The red lighting gave it away

THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD

Why did Kim scream like that

Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️

THE COPS THEME

OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!

He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️

Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still

This duet is EVERYTHING

Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL

“Axe wielding maniacs?”

The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…

OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK

I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL

im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine

WIGGLY

THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????

“Let me check my Christmas list”

“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?

I feel bad for not knowing all their names

Max says bitch a lot

Damn this show is long

Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil

Max is so fucking funny

Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious

Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life

He decides to fuck Grace Chastity

OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART

Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit

Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww

Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????

Oh nvm that’s Jason

I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good

It’s very clean and crisp

In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner

OH FUCK

WHATS GOING ON

WHAT