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#i know im not the only one who has experienced certain things
takami-takami · 7 months
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I literally NEED to write Hawks comfort to channel my emotions like I HAVE to but I cannot. I can't, like. You know.
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ankhisms · 2 years
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feeling the sad little pathetic creature emotions this evening suddenly. i dont really want to dwell in feeling bad but it is a familiar deep sad feeling u know. itll be ok i just have to let it out
#to the tune of ghengis khan dont wanna feel like nooo one believes in meeeeeeee im experiencing like. something thats#akin to my very specific paranoia of being paranoid of everyone secretly hating me and talking badly about me or thinking im horrible#secretly where its like my brain is telling me that no one believes in me including my friends and logically i know this isnt true. i have#so many people in my life who i love and appreciate and who have supported me through hardships and who i want to support#in turn. but thats the thing with my paranoia and delusions yknow i can be at least somewhat aware that im being irrational but in the end#that doesnt make it go away. and my brain is just like. no one believes in you when it comes to the creative things you want to do#like my art and acting and poetry. and then my brain tells me that the people around me just pity me and dont want to outright#say that everything i make or try to create sucks because they feel bad for me. and again i KNOW this isnt true. and i#feel bad and feel like im being unfair to my friends bc if this paranoia so i dony want to bring it up to anyone beyond venting like this#and also i feel scared that somehow bringing this specific paranoia up would be like guilt tripping people into like being nice to me or#somethimg my words are weird but my braim very much is like you are not allowed to ask for support or tell people about being insecure#and i do think this overall has something to do with my deep issues of completely lacking any confidence in myself or my abilities#which is due to a life time of abuse etc etc and its hard to build up any confidence in myself when i am still stuck in#my toxic home with no real options to get out at this point for various reasons. but its like#what if i just suck at the things i love to do? what if my art is just bad or mediocre even? what if im a bad actor or a bad poet? what id#even though i feel a deep calling within my soul to create and do these things what if even though i only ever feel truly alive#when i am acting or painting. what if none of it is any good. and no one wants to tell me that because they pity me#again. on a certain level i know this is all just my paranoia and is unreasonable. but its a feeling thats really hard to shake off yknow#anyway. thank u if you read this all i prommy ill be ok i just had to get it out 💖
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jinkiezzsstuff · 3 months
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Written & Writing :)
☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
Because I’ve got a couple things drafted, n i’ve written a few things before in the past, i figured i’d make a list, a collection, wouldn’t necessarily call it a master list, but y’know. Easier to navigate everything that i have written or am in the middle of writing teehee
so far there is only three fandoms i’ve written for: Hazbin, Helluva & FNAF. but im a fan of other things like codmw, harry potter, certain slashers, batman, creepypastas, the labyrinth (my fav <3) n others
*: The stars indicate explicit content 18+, all GN pronouns and anatomically; otherwise will be specified.
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Hazbin Hotel:
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𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒽𝑜𝓁𝑒 𝒞𝓇𝑒𝓌:
Transported (Male reader): 【1】 【2】
[3]
Reader gets thrown into the Hazbin Hotel after falling down a well, now he’s having a blast interacting with all his favs while also experiencing the fun first hand.
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𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇:
Wing Grooming: 【1】 【2*】
You help Lucifer maintain his healthy wings, and in the first part he suggest stopping before things go south, in the second part, things go south straight to smut town.
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Met the Devil* Human!reader || PT2
You’re a plain and simple human until you meet a strange man in the night who gives you a card, mysteriously that same strange man shows up at the cottage your house sitting.
Request: Cockwarming Lucifer at Mammon performance
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𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝑒:
Zip Zap (male reader)
Charlie gets followed by Valentinos boys, readers there to save the day.
Request: Charlie x male reader *
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𝐸𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎:
Knight (male reader) PT2
In the first part male reader saves Emily after she falls and gets nabbed up by Valentino, and in the second part you comfort her when she has nightmares about it.
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𝒜𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇:
The Dog and The Deer
Reader is a dog demon, Alastor loathes the reader simply because it reminds him of his untimely death, and weak mortality. You however are incessant and want him to like you, you end up finding out why he hates you and possibly start a new friendship.
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In Season (Fem Reader)*
Reader is pretty well acquainted with heat, but wasn’t typically affected, thats until she visits the hotel and a scent like no other hit her throwing all her reasoning out the window, Alastor felt the same when he sensed you come into the hotel. SMUT
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At first sight*. || PT2 PT3*
Doe reader with white ears and tail has been Charlie’s bestie since childhood, and when they comes to the hotel is hesitant about the radio demon until they meet in the flesh and an instant attraction is there. Reader ends up dealing her soul to him in the form of marriage during a moment of intimacy.
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Movie night. || PT2 PT3
Reader and the gang it sit down in the first part to watch Bambi, and it brings back some memories from his past. In the second part, Reader is excited to show Alastor princess and the frog due to the similarities, and in the third part Alastor treats reader to a date after the kindness of the nights prior.
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Bully: [1]
Reader is an Imp who’d befriended Charlie and came to the hotel, Alastor makes sure to make readers life a living hell poking at all their soft spots reminding them they’re just a weak little imp. There will eventually be a second part with smut.
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Back to Life: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
One day when waltzing through the woods a peculiar looking buck led you deeper into them, while following, you fell hitting your head and woke to a stranger standing over you. You don’t know where you are, how you got here, or who this guy is, but he’s all you’ve got and he’s utterly insane.
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Request, cockwarming Alastor*
Request, Songfic: Noel’s Lament
Request Insecure Plus sized reader with Alastor
Request, Reader and Alastor fight and make up teehee, angst fluff smut
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𝒜𝒹𝒶𝓂:
Hate That I Love You
Father Adam (incomplete)
Request - Hosptialized adam teehee
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𝒱𝑜𝓍:
Big Fan (incomplete)
Request; singer reader who vox becomes obsessed with FEM
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𝐿𝓊𝓉𝑒:
Showers* (Fem reader Incomplete)
Obsessed with me (Fem reader incomplete)
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𝒱𝑒𝓁𝓋𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒:
Rivalry To Romance (Female Reader)
You always found yourself in competition with Velvette and you found her to be an insufferable brat, turns out it’s just a wee crush.
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𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑜:
Request Val bratty reader FEM
Request: bunny reader and spanking
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Helluva Boss: Nothing yet!
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Five Nights at Freddy’s:
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Mike Schmidt:
Multifaceted*
Paranormal Investigator
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ethereal-blossom · 1 year
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izaya, dazai, and mori reacting to their s/o experiencing a major burnout to the point where they needed extensive medical attention due to their overall health plummeting due stress and fatigue. this is me rn ;-; im so overworked yet so underpaid lmfao thank you so much in advance! 💗
A/N: Hi, thank you so much for the long wait! I hope your situation has become better :( give my dear their rest and money🔪 I'm sorry Mori's part is a bit short compared to the others, but I hope you like it💖
Izaya:
Izaya loves all humans equally, but you're the exception as his favorite one and Shizuo being his least favorite.
With Izaya's special interest in human beings and his well-crafted observation skills, it didn't go unnoticed by him how you were becoming more tired and less happy step by step. The part of him that loved to observe humans was fascinated and wondered how far you could be pushed, but then again- you are his favorite.
Izaya only realizes you need extensive medical treatment after he returns from an underground job. If you haven't moved in with him already, Izaya will throw all his charm (or manipulation skills, really, who cares about the details?) into convincing you to stay at his place. Being an information broker and professional chaos lover has provided Izaya with enough money to spoil you rotten.
The question is whether he'll let you go back to work. And if you manage to convince him to let you go back to work, he's going to do a full background check on the company and its people.
Izaya has a hard time admitting this to you, himself, or anyone really, but seeing you become this fragile scared him. It's a feeling he immediately tries to shove away, but it only leads to him being more protective of you.
During your assigned recovery, you'll catch Izaya chuckling to himself. There are just so many fun possibilities to ruin your boss' life! Should he destroy it brick by brick? Or should he wreck it in one go? Whatever it is, it'll be cruel and twisted and fun. Your boss didn't think they could get away with treating his favorite little human like this, hm?
One thing is for certain: no matter how Izaya is going to destroy your boss' life, it'll be done through cyber damage. Izaya would rather not leave your side. He has been very cheery and confident around you, never giving you a sign of the fear he felt when he saw you turn into a burned-out version of yourself. But he has you tucked in bed and you just have to say it and he gives you anything you want. Izaya has Namie assist him in taking care of you, too.
Izaya does drop hints here and there about how he's going to be responsible for your boss' life taking a bad turn. If you try to confront him about this or prevent him from doing so, Izaya is going to ask you for a good explanation as to why not. It may even lead to a discussion, however, no reason will leave him satisfied. You've already gotten hurt, so the damage is already done and there's nothing the boss can do to make up for it except pay for it with his sins. Izaya can say he'll let it go, but you know he won't. If anything, he's more excited to start. Nobody messes with his favorite human except him.
Dazai:
Dazai puts great value in the one he gained but would never want to lose. It's one of the reasons he pays so much attention to you; he knows things about your behavior that even you are unaware of.
That's why Dazai is the first to observe how you're slowly burning out. He encourages you to copy his work ethic (lying on a couch and letting your partner do all the work), but he never convinces you no matter how much he tries to tug at your strings.
But when Dazai comes home from a mission he had to travel for and sees you so burned out to the point of needing extensive medical care, he was livid and scared. From the inside, that is. From the outside, he'd be calm and reassuring, even cheery once you feel better.
Dazai would insist that he stays home with you to become your personal nurse. He would cling onto you whenever you want to leave the bed, claiming you were on bed rest, which automatically meant he was on bed rest, too.
He'd take care of you in his own silly way. He makes you laugh, distracts you from the tiredness, buys you the biggest teddy bear you've seen in your life, and prevents you from doing anything.
Nonetheless, there's going to be a time you need to get back to work. Once you do, you notice something strange about your boss. It's like they are a whole new person. They offer you tea or coffee the minute you step in, push out a nervous chuckle that's supposed to sound friendly, and say you can take a break whenever you feel like you need one. It wouldn't take long for you to realize there was something off... and you could tell who was behind it.
When confronting Dazai though, expect him to be packed in denial. "Me?" He answers with doe eyes that scream innocence and surprise, which means he was definitely not innocent nor surprised. "Do I look like someone who would threaten your boss? I was taking care of you all that time!" Yes Dazai, you look like that type of person. But the latter was true since you cannot point out a moment he must have had a talk with your boss. Dazai had taken his role as your personal nurse very seriously to the point he rarely had been out of your sight.
Dazai knows you'd have to let it go eventually because you have no evidence against him. Even if you did find the courage to ask your boss if your boyfriend had talked to him, the boss wouldn't slip up. The only evidence you have is the fear in your boss' eyes when mentioning your boyfriend and the sly but satisfied smile you caught on Dazai's face when he knew he got away with it.
Mori:
Being the boss of the port mafia is a time-consuming job, especially when you're almost at war with another underground organization. It's why Mori, who is always eager to spoil you rotten, wasn't there to see how work was affecting you for the worst.
Mori made sure the upcoming threat was nothing more but forgotten dust, and one look at you after he came back made him want to do the same to your boss. You could see it in his expression, how it changed from excitement to surprise to deadly and back to soft but cheery in the span of a few seconds.
Absolutely takes this opportunity as an excuse to spoil you rotten more than he already does. After all, who can take better care of you than himself, the doctor who loves you the most?
The doctor in him comes out; checking your vitals, making sure you eat and drink, assigning you time to rest but also to go out and make a little walk with him. And oh, look what a cute thing he bought for you the other day! Yeah, it wouldn't be Mori if he didn't take this opportunity to buy new clothes for you and to doll you up as much as you let him.
Mori will offer to bring harm to your boss as if it's a sweet declaration of love. Whatever your answer, he makes sure your boss learns their lesson.
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chiiyuuvv · 5 months
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heyy can I request xikers reaction to you being insecure about something in yourself(anything, u name it) thank youu and I love your writing 🤍✨
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• PAIRING — xikers x fem!reader
• GENRE — comfort, insecurities, yeah
• WORD COUNT — 695
• AUTHOR'S NOTE — Everything that i have written has been pulled from here so if there was something i didnt name or you'd like to read more about, i highly suggest it :)
• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry
MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!
"I'm not going to get into that college"
First and foremost, minjae understands the pressure to get into a certain college in order to please your parents. But you wanna know whats more important? Why do you wanna go? Other than pleasing your parents. After a long talk and cuddle, you should come into a better sense of whether or not college is something you want to do. But either way, you should always believe in yourself! ♡
"I don't have many followers"
Junmin's going to take away your phone. Not because you did something bad, but so you can take a break. Go outside, turn on do not disturb and take a walk with your lovely boyfriend. Its a win-win for you, him, and his dogs. A win-win-win, technically ♡
"I don't have a good fashion sense"
As someone who likes to dress a certain way, sumin knows what its like, but he has a tip; dress for you. When you wear things that make you happy, you often forget about the others around you, and their opinions. It also helps you stand out from the crowd. Wear what you like ♡
"I cant do any better"
Grabbing both of your hands, jinsik will give them a tight squeeze in front of the mirror, making you repeat the same mantras every morning. They may feel silly at first, but over time they help you convince yourself that you are worthy of whatever you desire ♡
"I dont have many friends"
First, hyunwoo will talk about the importance of friends. Friends that help you grow to become the better you and give you a good laugh. Friends that would never judge you for their own benefit. That being said, you need to eliminate the ones that dont actually care for you. Worry less about the quantity, and more about the quality. Who cares if you only have 3 friends? As long as youre happy and growing, thats all that matters ♡
"I'm not pretty enough"
Beauty is subjective. You may be insecure about one thing, but junghoon, 9 times out of 10, finds it really stinking cute. But what he feels doesnt matter, what others think doesnt matter. How you think matters!! So stop worrying about other peoples eyes and work on your inner self. If youre happy.. youre at peace, and if youre at peace, you start to smile. And thats very attractive ♡
"I'm not that smart"
"Why dont you think youre smart?" Seeun would ask, his chin resting against his hand. "Why do you want to be smart?" These questions may be dumb but they have meaning. We all have the ability to learn something. After all, life is about experiencing things and growing from it. It all just takes time, so dont stop believing in yourself, 'kay? ♡
"No one will miss me when im gone"
Although you may feel alone and think no one would care, yujun would care. Yujun would always care. But, stop worrying about the future, you know? Live your life in the present with no regrets. Every moment spent worrying is a moment spent not really living. When you obsess over that type of stuff, you are missing out on whats in front of you. And when you miss that, you wont realize the people who love and support you ♡
"I feel overweight"
Hunter will take you to the gym, but not just so you become 'thin' and everyone will accept you, to focus on being healthy, mentally healthy too. Focus on getting in shape with a well balanced diet and exercise program. Hunter will help! ♡
"People talk behind my back"
"Do you know that for sure??" Yechan would ask, poking his fork in his salad. "Because most of the time, its just an imaginary conversation you have in your head. Stop worrying what other people think and focus on your well being. But what you said is true, expect to see me at your school." He finishes, shooting you an innocent smile ♡
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leonscape · 3 months
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my honest thoughts/criticisms of chevalier
i’m gonna get canceled so hard for this. but it’s fandom and we are all allowed to share our opinions and discuss them
i know i am in the minority. of course we will always have a few people who like or dislike a certain thing so im not going to claim that im the only one that feels like this.
this is not to disrespect chevalier or his fans. i just wish to share my opinion and i know im subjecting myself to criticism as well. i’ll just cry about it later
you probably shouldn’t read if you don’t want to hear someone complain about chevalier 😅
but do read if you wish to see chevalier from the point of view from someone who isn’t a fan of his.
with his cold nature and emotions, as a reader, it is very difficult for me to develop a connection to him. he has nothing to latch onto.
i will go into detail on what i mean by something to latch onto so i will go off on a tangent here, feel free to skip this. for example on this idea of something to latch onto: with jin, the comedy is easy to connect to. his story is able to explain why he does the things he does and it does build up emotion between emma (or you the reader) and jin. with clavis, it is easy to admire his hard work. he also purposely pokes and prods to bother emma which brings out emotions. for leon, he brings comfort and warm emotions, it’s easy to get attached. yves is also quite comical as well, but he’s also very kind and it’s not hard to connect with him. licht, nokto, and luke’s stories are very heavy as it deals with abuse and negligence so it’s not hard to develop empathy for them.
for chevalier, he simply just is. no event has influence over chevalier. he is described as always being the way that he is. he was born a genius. he was reading books on complex topics, seemingly ever since he learned how to read. he always appeared emotionless; he sheds blood without batting an eye. it came to a point where it scared his own mother. he just has photographic memory. i know it’s possible for some to have such a thing, but it’s simply just given to him. i dare say he has never worked for anything in his life. everything has been given to him and he’s never struggled. if he’s so intelligent and everything is so easy for him, he doesn’t need to break a sweat in putting in effort. there is nothing to inspire a sort of connection. it’s hard to feel bad for someone who is quite apathetic and unbothered.
although, i do think it’s perfectly fine to have a character like this. there is a way to have chevalier be this inhumanly perfect person. for me, i actually really like the idea of him being into romance novels. it is very endearing and it does bring out a human side. but they don’t do anything with it! i say this because it feels like emma and chevalier’s relationship is one sided. all the effort is coming from emma. emma is the one that has to prove to chevalier the value of love. chevalier doesn’t do anything to contribute to developing the relationship. it’s only about emma proving its worth, thus it feels like the effort falls on emma alone. when he is shown to care about emma and have feelings for her, it feels unnatural to me. because how is he gonna develop an intimate relationship with some he’s known for one month, putting in little effort, when he barely has relationships with his brothers, where he puts no effort, and some of whom do care for him (i’m trying to get at jin who cares for him and leon who’s never expressed any fear when interacting with him.)
my overall point here is that it would be nice if we did have chevalier put in effort, or more effort if that tickles your fancy. have him imitate what he reads in books since he has no experience. this would make it feel like he is putting in effort and it would really highlight his charming clumsy affection. personally, i can really relate and connect to this; when i write romance, i mimic what i read and see in media because i have not experienced it for myself yet. it’s an easy fix but it means so much!
something i noticed is that many people say that, “chevalier never received love/affection from his parents, therefore he has a hard time expressing himself emotionally [we should praise him when he does so].” this is a sound argument, i agree with this, i do think he deserves praise. however, i cannot fully support this statement. he does the bare minimum and people applaud him for it because he has never known love and affection. take leon for example. now i am not comparing leon and chevalier because leon is my favorite, i am using leon’s story to draw this comparison. leon doesn’t know his parents, therefore he never received loved from them. his “adoptive” parents also never had a lot of love to give. it would be accurate to say that he never experienced love and affection. i bring these two points up to compare it to chevalier who also never received love from his parents. this shows that receiving love from one or both parents does not affect their characters here. you could even argue the same with sariel who has little to no memories of his own parents. although i guess you could also argue that the king became his father..
so to sum that all up, his cold nature and his inability to express emotions are not the result of the absence of parental love and affection. so for me, this argument feels like something that’s meant to make you pity chevalier, when the same could be said for leon which isn’t acknowledged at all.
another thing i find interesting is that we have interpreted chevalier’s memorization of the name’s of knights as an emotional thing. chevalier himself expresses it as an obligation as a royal and i just think it’s interesting how he looks at it from a duty standpoint versus our emotional standpoint. because it’s not explicitly stated, one could assume that he doesn’t do for an emotional reason, but rather it’s just his job to honor those that have died for the kingdom in service to the royal family.
something else that i think should be talked about is how chevalier is put on this weird pedestal. he’s always labeled as a genius while the other guys never get praised for their intelligence or accomplishments. it gets tiring to hear “chevalier is a genius” over and over in the game and it doesn’t hold any weight because every brother is quite intelligent. it’s also much more telling than showing.
chevalier and charisma: i have expressed this opinion before and i would like to take this opportunity to explain and defend myself. i think the word authoritative describes him rather than charismatic. authority still implies respect and loyalty. charisma on the other hand is closer to charm and likability. the reason why i disagree with the idea that intelligence equals charisma is because you can be dumb as a box of rocks and still have charisma. there is a reason why people love sweet himbo characters. intelligence isn’t the determining factor here, it’s about how likable you are. charismatic people (with good or bad intentions) make things sound good and inspire loyalty because they are charming, they are likable. not because they are smart. they are able to get people to follow them because they know how to use their charm to play their cards, they don’t need to be a genius to figure it out. if you have to change the definition of charismatic, then he’s most likely not charismatic. chevalier doesn’t try to be likable. he never explains himself and he just does what he deems as necessary, even if it’s not the kindest thing or if the majority doesn’t agree with him. therefore, charismatic is not an accurate description of his character.
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this was actually just a long rant and not helpful at all. i don’t think anyone is gonna read all of it anyway. ok im done committing social sui/cide
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autisticlancemcclain · 10 months
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fic rec friday 34
welcome to the thirty-fourth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics. 
1. Red Poppies by @icypantherwrites
Hanahaki (with a twist) AU — Lance has never experienced a case of Hanahaki this bad. He wishes he could say it’s just the amount of flowers he’s coughing up and desperately trying to hide from the team, just as he’s trying to hide the fact that he technically died at Omega Shield from them, but it’s not just that. It’s the fact he keeps choking out red poppies. And red poppies...
They symbolize death.
the most interesting take on hanahaki ive ever seen tbh. i know icy panther is known for her edgier storytelling, but this is one of my faves of hers! i like the originality of it, and of course i adore the addressing of the omega shield disaster
2. Voltron: Last Dialogue by @uncouth-peasant [IMPLIED CHARACTER DEATH]
After the events of Omega Shield, the Astral Plane has a visitor.
okay look i know everyone freaks about major character death but im asking u to read this anyway. for one its only IMPLIED, technically lance could still be alive, and also it’s just a really well-written fic. lance and shiro have so so so much potential with how similar their characters and arcs are, so i loved how this one explored that in its heartbreak
3. The Poison of Deceit by @icypantherwrites
This diplomatic mission is not going the way Lance had hoped. The diplomacy part on behalf of Voltron is going fantastic and Lance doesn’t think he’d be remiss in saying he had a large hand in that. But the whole impress Shiro bit is an epic fail as Shiro doesn’t seem to notice his efforts at all and it’s only worse with Keith showing him up at nearly every turn. The aliens they’re working on the alliance though have noticed his efforts. But as Lance stands here now, Shiro and Keith’s lives along with a vial of poison in his hands, he isn’t so certain that was a good thing.
the fuckin ‘i drank poison to save your life’ trope will NEVER get old idc idc. the heart dropping moment when the team realises that by doubting lance they may have cost him his life...insanity fr. like i eat this shit up every time
4. blind spots by @adelfie
Lance knows something’s wrong.
Keith turns his gaze on him, dark eyes latching onto him like an anchor.
Normally this is when Lance can think of something stupid to say to make Keith smile. Bonus points if he can get a laugh. Usually it isn’t hard — smiles come easy when it’s them. But something is wrong, and Lance knows that Keith’s smile will be the farthest thing from him if he says it.
-- Lance gets hurt during a mission with Keith and the Blades.
blade pining down bad keith in startled awe of bamf lance...it eats every single time like lets be honest my friends. bamf lance in every flavour is delectable but through keith’s view????? oh god it’s something special
5. Isn’t There A White Knight by @bosstoaster-writing
Kink Meme FIll: "In the first episode, Lance says that Shiro is his hero. But Shiro is still just a guy in his mid twenties, and we've seen him join in on silly stuff ("Blam blam blam!").
So what I want is five times Lance sees Shiro do dorky, ridiculous things, and one time he realizes he'd still follow this dork to Hell and back."
C'mon, as if I could pass that up.
five plus one? check. lance learning to know his idol as a human? check. gentle and careful and clumsy relationships? check. and dorky loser goober shiro, my love and light? CHECK CHECK CHECK. this fic is so so fun. shiro should get the right to be a dorky goober at all times and anyone who writes that is my hero
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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windvexer · 3 months
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Hi chicken! Apologizes if this is something you have answered in the past, but how would one get rid of entity attachments? Why do they occur and how do you identify if it’s attached? Additionally, for example, if something followed you home and won’t leave even after banishing and it got through your protections and wards, what do you do in this case?
(Entity attachment anon!) I forgot to ask, is it possible for entities to attach even if you’ve layered personal protections on? I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anyone having this problem but I’m deeply curious.
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Hi, Anon! Major UPG post alert ^-^
So this is a huge topic and I'm afraid there are no easy answers. If we're talking about entity attachments, what I've mostly experienced are entities who are just targeting people because they've already got a foothold.
I find the "energy cord" theory to be more effect than cause. In other words, if a linking energy cord is present it's because the spirit is haunting a person; the cord doesn't cause the haunting, but rather reflects and demonstrates the relationship between two or more things.
I don't know if I really believe in "attachments," specifically. Sometimes, certain spirits can become fixated on a person in the interest of causing harm or for deleterious personal gain, but this doesn't necessarily mean there is any special magical link between the spirit and the person being haunted. It's not an attachment so much as it is targeted harassment.
But I'm also a little hesitant on the topic because IME, it's very easy to interpret "a spirit is upset in my vicinity" to "I am being victimized by a negative spiritual attachment."
Also, if it sounds like something the Warrens would say, I'm extra hesitant to adopt it into my worldview.
For example, plenty of unpleasant spirit encounters happen because a spirit accidentally got trapped inside of a household. It's upset and it wants to leave, but the practitioner is taking steps contrary to solving the actual issue. If a spirit is trapped inside the house and the practitioner responds by redoubling wards and commanding the spirit to leave, the issue becomes intransigent; the practitioner doesn't understand why the problem is happening, so they are taking actions that seem rational, but in actuality can't solve the problem.
My take on resolving unwanted spiritual intrusions is therefore a pretty practical, but boring one: resolving them requires an understanding of why they are happening, and how to form an appropriate action plan centered around effective sorcerous techniques.
There are plenty of reasons why a person could have attracted unwanted spiritual attention, and they're all boring stuff too: You stole something from nature that wasn't yours to take, you worked magic in a place you shouldn't have worked magic in, you targeted someone who has their own spiritual protectors, you're behaving like someone who needs to learn a lesson and the lesson has arrived, you accidentally opened doorways that spirits stepped through, you modified the spell without understanding the steps, you started getting involved in things that were none of your business and now business is getting involved with you, and so on.
It's never "an evil spirit followed me home for no reason and walked through all of my wards and now it's attached to me."
It's always "oh yeah, last year I made a promise to a nature spirit in that park to bring it offerings every week, but I forgot, but trees are supposed to be cool, right? No, I don't remember the promise ritual I performed, but I do remember that I invited the spirit to come visit me whenever it wanted. Hey, wait, is that why it could walk past my wards?"
From time to time, the exact cause of an unwanted spirit haunting can't be discovered, or doesn't matter. Some times unwanted spirits kind of just do float in and start causing problems, but those problems are resolved through effective sorcery. This means not only casting effective spells, but also employing an effective strategy.
If the banishing didn't work, it was either an ineffective spell, or an ineffective strategy. The angry dryad isn't being banished because the jar wards you put up 18 months ago have a clause about always protecting invited guests from harmful magic. It doesn't matter if you're casting a good banishment; it's a bad strategy to resolve the situation.
This is probably going to sound a little mean of me, but if someone said that a spirit just walked through all of their protections and wards and can't be banished, my immediate assumption is not that it's a powerful spirit who has become specially attached. My assumption is that the person is working with ineffective magical techniques.
So a lot of dealing with unwanted spiritual intrusions isn't just attack and defense. It's also investigation, diplomacy, and strategy.
You ask if it's possible for a spirit to become "attached" to a person even if they have lots of personal protections, but I'm not sure my beliefs agree with the question itself. Could a spirit force a harmful connection with someone who is extremely well-protected? Maybe, but I doubt it. At a certain point, a point not even very difficult to reach, protection becomes so all-encompassing that it is transformative.
But also, having many protection amulets isn't the end-all, be-all of protection against unwanted spiritual attention. I suffered from unwanted contact for years that my strongest banishing and protection couldn't touch, and then immediately resolved it with a basic spell that employed an entirely different strategy.
At the end of the day, though, effectively dealing with unwanted spiritual intrusions can be complex and require a lot of different skills to appropriately tackle, even if the situation is easy to resolve once you understand what's going on.
So if you've found yourself in a pickle and there don't appear to be any doors leading out of the fun house, then I'd recommend just hitting up a spirit doctor. Not to speak too broadly, but it's the job of such folks to remedy problems caused by spirits.
Various doctors have various specializations, but many of them are able to directly intercede on your behalf or at least provide the information necessary to resolve the issue.
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blazesartbloglmao · 5 days
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"Tell me about it"
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“Tell me about it,” Techno says later that night, when the fire is low but not quite out and Philza has gone to bed early.
Techno had been reading from one of his many books, hooves delicately turning yellowed pages. Tommy sat with a blanket thrown over his lap, furiously typing messages to Tubbo and Ranboo. They were snowed in at Snowchester, and Michael apparently thought it was some kind of miracle of sorts because Ranboo had been forced to stay in the house a lot with him.
“Tell you about what?” Tommy asks, looking up from his battered communicator. He frowns. “Exile?”
“No. Tell me about your home. L’manberg. Tell me about when it was good.”
Tommy scowls, then softens his face out and raises an eyebrow, casting an odd look in Techno’s direction. Two parts suspicion, one part confusion. “Why?”
“Because it was important to you,” Techno says simply. “I won’t get it, but I’d like to hear about it. All I heard about was a dictator who threw the founders out of the land and all I saw was a Butcher Army on my front lawn. So tell me about it. Tell me about before.”
A nervous sort of energy has entered Tommy’s chest now. He’s not sure why it’s there, only that it feels a bit like a worm has found it’s way from his stomach to his lungs and is now furiously doing the macarena as best as it’s wriggly little body can, even though it has no hands or feet.
It’s also that he’s never tried to explain L’manberg to anyone. Either you were there or you weren’t. Tubbo always got it. Eret certainly did, when they chatted over their fabric projects. Fundy didn’t like to talk about it, but he had brightened when he saw the friendship bracelet Tommy had hung onto. And Wilbur? Wilbur built the damn thing. Even if he refuses to talk about it. Ever.
He knows Tubbo had tried to tell Ranboo about it, the good bits so Ranboo could maybe understand a bit more. Like the time they’d climbed all the trees surrounding the van to try and find the one with grapes in them and then had subsequently pissed off a stray cat that was living in the area. Or when Tommy had sung to the plants in the rain, carefully tending his old carrot patch the way he now tends his small wheat farm and the flowers that dot his front lawn. He suspects Eret has done something similar with Foolish. The golden-skinned totem always has a habit these days of knowing about certain events that played out, though he speaks as if he read it somewhere, not that he’d experienced it.
But Tommy’s never had that practice. Perhaps if he had—like Tubbo, like Eret—he would’ve known exactly what to say to get Techno to understand better. To get him to at least like the idea it had been at first, before the bitter end it’d faced.
He summons all his memories he has of his home, days spent in sunlight; picking berries and petting wild cows. Looking for mischief with Tubbo. Helping Eret with chores. Playing with Fundy and teaching him how to scam. Learning all of Wilbur’s tricks—from the best ways to brew potions to how to confuse the people he was scamming—and soaking up his brother’s praise when he gave it, collecting each soft smile the older man had offered, each ruffle of his hair.
so im a day late but in my defense, i was busy feeling like i was close to death and it only occurred to me later at night yesterday that i could draw something from my own damn fic instead of scrambling to find something in my tired little brain. that's why we're here now lmao.
i wrote a fic back in 2021 about c!tommy and c!technoblade coming together to discuss their differences and try to mend their relationship. because, as i put it succinctly at the time in my partner in crime's dms "if the streamers arent up to the task, im certainly capable of writing a fucking fix-it fic in about a week or 2!"
idk what was in the water back then, i churned out fics like every 2 weeks it felt like and it was insane. now i struggle to finish a oneshot lmao
anyways, that fic does have artwork i drew for it but i wasn't really happy with it as i felt like it didn't capture any of the warmth the fic itself contains. enter this piece that i started impulsively last night and finished today before leaving to go to a plant sale. i did not watch cc!technoblade very long and i got into watching him when i was into dsmp (which i think ive mentioned before) but i am so so glad and grateful for the time he gave us.
if you'd like to read Notos, you can do so here. ive long since stopped lookin at the statistics because the numbers freak me out lmao. if you'd like to see the speedpaint that goes with this, you can click here!
i hope you all enjoy :)
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miametropolis · 3 months
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My condolences for the containment breach I get how having thousands of ppl say the same joke over and over in the notes of your genuine analysis post can get annoying 😭 😭😭😭 I’m extremely down to hear more about the differences between the ninth and tenth doctors if you have any other insights you want to share though!!! I’ve been turning your post over and over in my brain like a rotisserie chicken ever since I read it it’s so good
omg thank you for your condolences...it really is the containment breach of all time...let me think!! I have a MAJOR tenth doctor video essay I may or may not make so here are the cliff notes:
-To begin. Anne Carson wrote that to live beyond the end of your myth is a perilous thing.
-in many ways, the 10th Doctor is cursed from his inception b/c he is born at the end of the Doctor and Rose's romantic arc (from a certain point of view) AND YET he is born sheerly out of love for her / to love her
-(we all know the fanon--or is it canon?--idea that Ten's face was subconciously selected to be one that Rose would like, and he's gone for her from the beginning...hello, The Christmas Invasion.)
-all that said, by the time The Parting of the Ways occurs, Rose and Nine have completed a full narrative arc:
-Nine whisked Rose away from the life of boredom and sheltered drudgery she experienced on the estate; she brought life back into the eyes of a hardened war veteran/The Last of the Time Lords
-more importantly, they complete a kind of mutualistic ultimate sacrifice (in a Shakesperian sense?) wherein Rose 'becomes' the Doctor by absorbing the literal heart of the TARDIS (we don't have time to get into that) and erasing the Daleks into dust, finishing the last of the Time War AND saving the Doctor's life
-he immediately returns the favor, absorbing the energy that's destroying her with a kiss (let it be known--the ONLY kiss between the Doctor and Rose Tyler proper--neither Tentoo or Cassandra really count imo), returning her to humanity, life, and safety
-all that said, Nine dies both saving AND being saved by Rose in a kind of unrivaled (?) parity between Doctor and companion. it's perfect synthesis.
-THEN 10 is born. uh-oh.
It is here that I would like to quote Michael Kinnucan's fabulous essay 'The Gods Show Up' on Greek tragedies:
The tragic hero is complete. You can call him unhappy (miserable, utterly broken) even before he is dead. For an instant he is something like divine. And then he dies, because there’s nothing left to do. The center of every tragedy is the image of a human being who has already died but keeps talking, someone whose face is a mask.
I think one of the most fascinating 10 v. 9 moments is that one scene that got cut where Rose says "I miss him." and the Doctor replies "Me too."
As many people in the notes of that original post point out (god help me) 10 is ALSO born IMMEDIATELY into heartbreak--whatever vestigal version of Nine lives inside him died with the despair of losing Rose
-TEN is the man that went sauntering away. perhaps that's part of why Ten is so terrified of/resentful towards regeneration. I think he's lived precisely the worst cost of it.
-The notion of 'talking after death' and 'wearing a face that's a mask' is a existentialist take on regeneration itself--ten EPITOMIZES this tragic hero archetype, esp. after Doomsday (literally! Doomsday!!)
-during his life, I wonder if Nine already considers himself lost in a sense? He's lived past the Time War, past the destruction of everything, and he's also the first NuWho Doctor. HIS ability to indulge in love (even in mortality, given his short lifespan) is different.
-TEN on the other hand has that INCREDIBLY frightening (for him) confrontation with Sarah Jane in School Reunion--knitting him back into canon continuum of Doctor Who, stitching him to the myth of The Doctor that has to live on and on and on in perpetuity--and seems VERY haunted by (im)mortality
-How much time does Ten spend running from Jack? A human being who CAN follow him to the end of time? Ten can't decide if he wants to be mortal or immortal, human or Time Lord. Think of the way he acts with Martha, with Wilf, with Donna. He is totally frozen inside of the space of his seasons. He has time paralysis (fatal, for a Time Lord)
-he is the first doctor that we see reallllly try to stave off regeneration
-That's why there's a certain frantic escapism to his adventures with Rose in S2--he knows, more than she does, that they are hurtling toward's disaster.
-he can't love Rose in a consumate way, even if he wanted to (he wants to) b/c he's trapped inside of his myth. he's like sisyphus. or that guy getting his liver ripped out by the eagle. Nine and Rose are lines that can cross. Ten and Rose are parallel lines. if they touch, the universe dissolves. hence why the narrative/God/Russel T. Davies had to lock her away in another universe
anways!
Ten once canonically carved a statue of Rose by hand with every inch of her body absolutely perfect, from memory, and I think that's crazy
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shmolish · 2 months
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nice story but can you make dark cacao vs affogato x male affogato's priest reader but in original universe like reader meet affogato again outside kingdom during mission
also add against and injured ( not too much )
AN: So, I kinda forgot a lot of the crk kingdom lore, but I think I got this! Been procrastinating on this one, sorry. In Affogato's wiki, it says that after his banishment, he practiced magic and stuff, so I mentioned that in the story. Um, and I tried to find out where he went after the banishment, but I couldn't find anything so I'm just assuming he's just in a small camp or set. Idk man. If things aren't right in this, please just lmk and I can make some edits or maybe just another story. I SWEAR IM TRYING. Also I'm calling reader the prince since him and Dark Cacao are dating
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Dark Cacao vs Affogato x Male! Affogato Priest's Reader
Oneshot
Warnings: Mild Injury, not proof read
-Unpleasant-
A radiant, pure, and glistening snow. It covered the ground, and trees... everything. A beautiful sight to behold, and luckily for you, you were experiencing the light snowfall firsthand!
You were recently sent out on a mission to survey a certain area in the woods. Nothing too difficult. In fact, it was very simple. Survey, collect data, and then return to the kingdom, and with the light snowfall, it should have been that hard.
Well, the snow used to be light. You don't know what caused such a sudden change, but it was now practically a blizzard. If you didn't retreat to somewhere more warm, you were going to freeze to death!
The only problem is... where would you go? Everything was all forest as far as the eyes could see.
"Feeling cold doll? Looks like you could use some help.." said a voice. You couldn't see who it was through all of the snow, but... you couldn't shake the feeling that you knew them.
"Oh, yeah! Is there anywhere we can go get out of the blizzard..?"
You could hear a subtle chuckle.
"Of course there is." A bright light would flash and you were now in a completely different area.
A nice, warm, and cozy cabin. A fireplace was lit in the corner, but.... you could also now see them.
"Affogato Cookie?" You'd shout in bewilderment as you took a step back.
"Yes. Did you miss me~?" He'd take a step closer to you and take hold of your chin, forcing you to look at him.
Immediately, you swatted away his hand and sent him a glare.
"Do not touch me," you would hiss.
"Ahaha, you've still got that vicious personality, I see! But... this is no way to treat the person who has just saved your life, is it?"
He stared at you with those cold and uncaring eyes, still weilding that sly smile he always had all those months ago.
"Fine then. Thank you for saving me," you would say half-heartedly. You were grateful, just a bit on edge since it was Affogato who had saved you.
"So doll, how have you been? Is the king doing well?" He would ask. You only nod your head.
"How... unpleasant."
Affogato would swirl around his staff, and a pain would shoot through your body.
You knew exactly what this was. It was the poison he would use on his enemies... but he's improved.
"Ah, I've missed you're charming little expressions! This is why you've always been my favorite little doll~" He would pinch your cheeks while giving you that taunting smile.
"It hurts, doesn't it? I can make it stop," said Affogato Cookie.
"Then stop it," you would say with a glare.
"Of course! Under one condition though. You have to bring me to meet Dark Cacao Cookie. This is something you can do... yes?"
Oh. He was planning something for sure, but... all you could think about was the venom running through your blood.
"Fine! Just cut it out already."
He'd flick his staff once more, and the pain would lessen. Of course, poison cannot be cured so easily.
"The burning sensation will only last for a little while. Anyway, I'm glad we could come to an agreement! Now then, shall we head there now?"
That scowl never left your face, but you would nod your head all the same. It's not like you could take Affogato in a fight anyway.
《☆》
As Affogato and you walked into the gates of the kingdom, some guards would immediately ready their weapons.
"Prince, what is that traitor doing with you?!" They would ask in a panic.
You took a look at Affogato, who had never looked so calm and collected before.
"Stand down. I'm bringing him to the king," You'd order. Afgogato would chuckle before giving a viscious side eye towards the guards.
They looked shocked, but ultimately followed your lead since going against you was like going against the king himself.
"Yes sir." They said with a bow.
You started walking towards the castle, getting scared looks from the normal citizens.
The dizziness from before has also yet to fade.
"This kingdom looks the same as last time.. though, you are looking as darling as ever," Affogato would say with a grin.
"I don't want to hear it from you."
Affogato only hums, not bothering to push much farther.
It did not take long before you had reached the king's chambers.
Dark Cacao noticed Affogago instantly.
"What is he doing here?" Dark Cacao would ask with a booming voice. His blade was already at the ready.
"Ah ah ah, I wouldn't be so hasty to attack. You're little lover here might get hurt,"
Affogato would snicker before waving his staff, and that dark bubble would come back to consume you.
"You-" Dark Cacao would grit his teeth while glaring daggers into Affogato.
"Hand over the kingdom, and I'll stop the curse on him."
Dark Cacao's eyes darkened, and in an instant, he'd dash over to Affogato and strike him.
The blade would barely graze Affogato's shoulder, but it still drew blood. In a panic, Affogato would fall to the ground and start backing away.
"Ah, this isn't how the plan was supposed to turn out-"
Dark Cacao pointed the Swords edge at his neck.
"Stop the spell and leave. Next time you come here, I won't hesitate to take your life," said Dark Cacao.
He laughed nervously before swiftly undoing the curse. He flicked the staff once more again and teleported to who knows where.
Dark Cacao rushed to your side quickly.
"Are you alright?" He'd ask, holding you up.
"Yeah..." you began to cough a bit before looking at him with weary eyes.
"Here, let's get you some rest..."
《☆》 Fin
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gwendalyn · 9 months
Text
Just forget the world
George Weasley x Reader !Fem
Sad fic im sorry :(
Set after the Battle of Hogwarts. Dealing with grief both you and George go through. You are both twins who lost their other half. Never being anything more than distant friends, you find youself most emotionally vunerable to the only person who understands you. Apologies if this isn’t great. I’ve rewritten it a few times but this is the best way I’ve found for myself to write it.
⚠️Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, Death, Loss of family
To most people there, it was a bittersweet ending. Losing loved ones, but overall overcoming the power of Voldemort. To you, you had watched the past year as your family had been killed, one by one. First your father. Then your mother. And you and your twin sister were the only to remain. You had made a plan with her to avenge your parents, making certain that you either won or died trying.
The last few hours of war before it was called to a halt however. Your twin sister was struck by a Deatheater. You screamed out anguish, about to die yourself before George Weasley managed to reflect the spell back. Only to find himself in a similar fate as you. His twin brother, dead. Your voice became horse, crying over your sister. Your eyes puffy and face aching from pushing out whatever was left of the tears you could produce.
The morning came. Voldemort was killed. You felt dead inside once it was all over. Laying down on the floor, looking up to the ceiling of the Great Hall which once lit up with a galaxy, now empty.
George not too far away was doing the same. His mother trying to get him to speak, but his brother who started the sentences was no longer there to start. So he had nothing to say.
You get up shakily. Desperate to get this dead feeling out of you. One way or another. So you bring yourself to the broken bridge. George turns his head as he watches you leave the room. He only ever knew you as a friend, the other Gryffindor who was an identical twin. But he knew what was in your mind because he had the same idea lingering in his.
You peer over the edge, not too close to get people to leap forward and grab you. Just looking. How far down it is. A warmth approaches you and looks too.
You see George, the one who managed to back off the Deatheater that killed your sister. The one who lost his other half as well.
You look at him, latching onto his eyes with your own. Both of you filled with sorrow and strain. Being able to read exactly what one another feels.
“I know.” He says.
“It’s like, losing yourself. And now theres nobody there to find it. Just me.” I tell him.
“I’ll help you, if you help me.” George says. His intentions of comforting one another during this time.
Those words hit you. You feel drawn to hug him. You sob in an embrace. He leans on your shoulder and tears come flooding out of him. It was the most sorrowful hug you ever had. But it was the hug that saved your life. It made you realise how your family wouldn’t want you to fall down, after all that has happened. Now everything was safe.
“Okay.” You reply.
It didnt fix the huge irreversible tear in your life. Nor was Georges fixed either. Nothing ever would. But you sat there. Silently. In one anothers company.
Molly wanders outside, seeing you together. Understanding how you two both are going through the same thing. She cant help but cry again from afar.
You just sit with George, until the sun set. His hands surrounding yours as you both just stare down the edge of the bridge.
“I don’t know where I even go from here.” You tell him. You had lost all the family you knew, and home was no place you could be. It wasn’t even home anymore, just a place you used to live.
“You can always come with me.” George says. He dread the feeling of being alone at this time. His family surrounded him, which he was grateful for considering the worse fate you were experiencing. But the way they dealt with Fred being gone was different. His parents lost a child, but at least they both had one another who felt that way. His other siblings lost a brother and had one another to share that grief, but George couldn’t quite shake how the feeling of losing his twin was. Losing his soulmate from birth. And he had nobody who had that grief. Except you.
You felt it only natural to go with George. You had friends, but none of them matched up to the level your twin sister was. And they had their own separate lives to go on with, able to move on eventually. But You wouldn’t ever move on, nor would George. You could only just hope it got easier to cope with.
You get up and lock your hand with Georges. Others notice you both, feeling sorrow for you both.
“You coming with us dear?” Molly asks in a sad, but sweet and soft tone. She knew you were now alone with no family to turn to, so invites you to theirs.
You nod, and she nods back.
Upon getting far enough from Hogwarts, you all dissaperate back to the Burrow.
George looks around, before taking your hand again. Holding on so tight as if he were afraid to let go.
“You both get some rest.” Molly says.
George nods, before you both head up the stairs. He stops outside the door labelled “Fred and Georges room”, as if he were about to go inside, before turning around and walking into Charlie Weasleys old bedroom.
You hesitate coming in, although you needed somebody by your side, maybe he needed some alone time.
“Dont worry. They wont mind you staying in here with me.” George says.
You both lay on the double bed. Looking up again. Something draws you to him, so you cuddle up to him. He feels the same so holds you close. Its the way soulmates work you begin to think. You both lost your soulmates, and so that natural draw shifts into one another. The space left is rather large, and its like trying to fit a slightly different puzzle piece in the empty space. It doesn’t fit as the old one did. But with some rearranging, it works in a different way.
That soulmate energy transferred into a different route with one another. You trusted one another with your lives. You grew closer and knew each other more day by day. The day George started speaking to others besides you. The day you sell the house you grew up in. The small moments which push you both to grow together, instead of being left behind feeling smaller. You saw beauty in one another. Your draw to one another grew romantic with the instinctive need to be together. It was you and George. Just you and George, then the rest of the world.
Molly was as well extremely grateful for you. Without you she feared it would’ve been like losing two sons. But you rebuilt George as he did with you.
A few months later, you move with George into his and Freds old apartment. Restarting up the joke shop. He grows into this person you used to see from afar in school, but he grew back into it with you there too.
Some years later you get married, and then of course, your genetics call out for twins. A boy and a girl. One named after your sister, and the other named after his brother.
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pansyfemme · 5 months
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how did you start transitioning so young? thats awesome tbh
I’m from an open-minded family, and knew a lot of queer people growing up. A lot of the exact timeline is blurry, but i began questioning my queerness when i was 10 or 11. I never considered myself straight growing up, so it wasn’t very surprising that i might be, but i knew i felt nothing like other girls my age and i didn’t know why. When I was 12, I was going through a lot of severe mental health issues. I had been dealing with a lot of them my whole life, but that year was the point that I had to leave public school and recieve a lot of help, and around that time i was able to peice together that the extreme discomfort and depression i was experiencing was because I was transgender. I was lucky enough that i was seeing a therapist who not only believed me, but was able to reccomend officially to my parents that helping me to transition was one of their best shots at helping me with my mental health. My parents were hesistant at first, not really because they didn’t believe i was trans or that they didn’t like trans people, but because i was young and already dealing with so much. But thankfully, they did a lot of research, joined support groups, listened to all my counselers and agreed to help me transition after understanding the risks of not doing so. So i ended up being fully socially transitioned by my thirteenth birthday, and started a new school as a boy that fall, changing my legal name and sex on all documents around the same time. I had already been through a lot of puberty, i was an early bloomer, but i was able to get on hormone blockers about a week after i turned fourteen, and on hrt six months later. After i was on hrt, things slowed down since i was not legally able to get surgery yet, but after struggles both with a deeply terrible surgeon i met with and covid, i was able to get top surgery at 17, which finally allowed me to ‘pass’ since i was extremly large chested and wasn’t able to before that. In the past two years i haven’t done much medically but i do intend on pursuing a few more surgeries in the next few years and hopefully finish my medical transition before im off my parents health insurance. In short: I have supportive parents, good doctors, live in a state with decent laws, enough mental health history to convince insurance im a major risk if they don’t approve my healthcare, and happened to come out within the short window that treatment for trans kids existed but wasn’t as hard to access as it is now. My family is not wealthy, so we were lucky that the insurance my mom’s job gives us happens to be one of the ones that has good coverage for trans healthcare, and our proximity to major colleges makes certain types of healthcare easier to access. I’m aware im a rare case, and i consider myself very lucky. But that’s basically what it is.
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cpunkwitch · 2 months
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Hey, it's the anon that asked if chronic pain counted as a physical disability
I guess I just wanted to ask a few other things because you're like the first person who has actually answered my questions on this kind of stuff— I'm sorry if it becomes annoying or if my questions are stupid, I really struggle with research and stuff, so if this stuff is easily found on google or something then im sorry
I wanted to mainly ask what counts as debilitating? I mean my chronic pain tends to come in episodes that last a few minutes to a few hours (well the most noticeable of it, which is my ribs. But I do tend to havesort of aches in my joints, knees((are they joints?)), hip and some other places pretty commonly, and that usually lasts a few hours but I'm usually good at ignoring that), sometimes it can happen every day for a week and sometimes I can go weeks without experiencing or noticing any pain. I can still do things that most people do I think? Other than running or walking up hills, that usually takes away all my breath and makes the pain really bad (so bad I've had to lay on the floor for up to 10-20 minutes because I walked up too many hills). I don't know if that would count as debilitating
For further context, I am quite young and I don't have any diagnosis, I haven't seen a doctor over it because my parents don't believe my pain is real and often say it's growing pains (I don't think it is, since it started back when I was like 7-9, so before I started growing) so I don't really know much about this or my body really
Again sorry if this is a sort of stupid question, if you can't answer it or don't feel comfortable answering it that's perfectly fine ^_^ /gen
holding you gently (if touch is okay)
i dont think you understand anon im autistic all i do is research please please ask me to your hearts content! /silly
going bit by bit so its easier on my dyslexia, what counts as debilitating? subjective to the person but overall; debilitating means a condition or otherwise symptom of some kind causng a person to be weak, effects their usual functions or otherwise hindering, so for something to be disabling / debilitating and to count as such, it just means it hinders you in some way and generally makes you weaker in a "more suseptible to" way, such as chronic pain making it so you cant get out of bed i the morning, you cant lift heavy things like chairs etc.
it common for chronic pain and other chronic conditions to come in episodes my moms chronic migranes for example only happen about once a month. it still counts as chronic so long as its reoccuring and when it does occur if it hinders you in any way then it very much counts as debilitating and therefore a disablity.
the pain level doesnt have to be consistent nor does the time length, just that its reoccuring in some way.
knees are joints yes. when it comes to joint issues and pain its likely that form of chronic pain is caused by a type of arthritis, fibromyalgia and/or some other autoimunity that is known to cause that. not certain but i just felt like that might be worth noting.
my chronic pain causes me issues with walking just like that, people without this condition dont often struggle with losing energy nor feel pain after walks or runs, uphill or otherwise, unless they have something else goig on with their body. if it effects you lower body its no surprise your mobility in that area is effected in some way too. i got myself a cane to help me with this as i walk uphill to work often (at least its one reason it helps me)
that hinderance alone, effectig your stamina, counts as debilitating, it might now sound or feel as severe as what other people expirience but it counts
it sucks that people equate age to conditions and then dont believe young people like us when we have issues, but age has nothing to do with it, you can expirience anything like this at any age for a number of reasons. i was born with a defect i my spine we didnt find until i was 18-19 and id been i pain for well over a decade now.
you'll find its hard to get people to listen to you now, but once you know what to say, for example telling them how long that this has been going on and how it effects you, even what you suspect it night be and dont let them derail from exploring those possabilities, you can /get/ them to listen to you.
sucks hard that people wont listen in the first place, especially when they think they know everything. but youre the only one whos gonna know and understand your body best because only you can listen to it when it sends you signals like pain.
(i genuinely enjoy these kinds of asks i love getting to ramble)
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liliopdf · 14 days
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mini F2 race predictions
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this is personal bc ive been staying away from tarot and fortune telling for really really long because it just doesn’t align with who i am anymore but i am also a really curious person and this week has been emotionally taxing so im doing this for FUN and for myself
but anyway these are my mini predictions for the sprint and feature race (F2) except im only looking at one driver (and i won’t tag this post because i really don’t want this to show up anywhere)
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sprint race: king of wands, 7 of pentacles, the star
not too bad?? its not amazing but it’s not horrible, just average. and i think that with the seven of pentacles there will be lots of information picked up on or gained from this race, which could really help in the feature race the day after. and with the king of wands it makes me wonder if there’s a possibility of him dominating the race, for at least some period of time? or maybe setting the fastest timing for a lap/sector at least once. with the star, i think a lot of useful data could be collected behind the scenes, like really really useful info that wasn’t found previously. the star kinda feels like there will be certain blessings present, and a wish may be made and granted. the seven of pentacles is usually the final step before the hard work pays off.
significant numbers (in this context): 7, 17, 3, 4
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feature race: 3 of cups, 10 of cups, 6 of pentacles
so so positive i cannot stress this enough— so much celebration, so much fulfilment marking the end of a cycle. maybe some help involved, either given or received. positive, in the way only cool and calm mornings can feel, specifically at 8am, as it slowly gets closer to 10am. idk not much to say but the effort behind this race feels more centred, like there is a smaller group of people being actively involved in this race, and the celebrations may also be mainly for a smaller group of people than usual, but lots of happiness of course. this feels like watching the sunset at a beach, unplanned.
extra: i noticed the devil card pop up but it came with too many cards so i put it back in but it feels like a small warning to not get too egotistical or rude and lose focus on what’s actually important, like safety and relationships, and to not be overly consumed or obsessed by something— like results or incidents on track or the past
significant numbers: 3, 6, 10, 5, 7, 4
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bottom of deck: wheel of fortune
the wheel of fortune usually symbolises luck, or karma. it usually signifies a change in luck, and i always tell people that this change in luck could be from bad to good luck, or vice versa. it’s not a one directional thing— whatever you’ve been experiencing recently, changes. although in this context it definitely feels more positive given the recent dnfs. card number 10. with 11 under it— whatever is received this weekend is well deserved and long time coming
also wait im adding on to this but maybe tyre management might be significant in these two races, in this specific drivers case
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anyway i still don’t know if ill watch the races because both F3 and F2 races have been heartbreaking recently but i might, after this reading— i just pray that pepe does really really well and that there are no crashes and that everyone is safe and happy despite their end positions and that it’s a good weekend for all drivers and mechanics and fans and team principals and any and everyone on earth except mean people
okay byebye ill come back to this after both races are complete and update this
- 🪷
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mldrgrl · 5 months
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Hiii! Huge fan of your Hanella series! Im doing a The Fall rewatch atm and love the moment Stella comes over and kisses Archie Panjabis character in front of that guy. Idk how to describe it… Possessive isn’t the right word for the moment but I find the confidence so sexy. Do you think Hank has ever experienced her be that bold and forward in public with him before?
Hello, and thank you. What's behind this cut is a lot of word vomit, so read at your own risk.
Please first allow me to preface the explanation that follows here with the fact that I actually put in way too much character analysis into both Hank and Stella when I was coming to the decision years ago of whether or not to continue with these stories or just keep it as that one-shot, one-night stand that reluctantly became two. I did not in any way expect the overwhelmingly positive response to the pair as I got and I wasn't going to continue if it was only to make them international fuck buddies, becauase...boring. If I couldn't find it in them to build up a relationship within the series, I wasn't going to do it. So, I sat with it for quite a bit, stewing on their strengths and weaknesses and what would pull them together, but also keep them apart. So, these are my opinions on The Fall and Stella, but in now way a judgment of them, because they are what they are. There are honestly plenty of things I don't like about both Stella and Hank as characters, or how they respond to certain things (even within my own series) but if I stopped them from doing things that I don't necessarily like or agree with, it wouldn't be truthful for the characters.
That being said, I don't feel the same way about the moment with Reed as you do (and trust me, I know I'm probably in a minority of one when I say that). What Stella was doing in that moment was meant to intimidate, to take power, to have an upper hand over the guy speaking to Reed, as well as to seduce. That scene actually makes me sad and uncomfortable to think that she would put another woman in that position of having to deal with unwanted advances - and actually she was caught between either accepting the kiss to get a guy to leave the table, or embarrass Stella by pushing her away. It's stomach-churing for me. Whenever it comes up in a rewatch, I cringe at how awkward it looks and that I don't want to see someone who doesn't want that kiss, to have to take it. It's predatory. If Stella was some guy coworker of Reed's who did that, I would feel the exact same way. The only real point in Stella's favor that I can give her is for what follows - she respects that when Reed says no, she can't, she doesn't try to convince her otherwise, she leaves it at that. Let me reiterate here, this is not me passing a judgment on Stella or anyone who got something different out of that scene. It's how I feel about that scene and what needs to be explained to answer the question.
So, in terms of that above motivation, the thing is that she's never had to take power over Hank or seduce him. And that's one of the reasons why Stella's hang-up about public displays of affection as well as overcoming those hang-ups are a theme throughout the Hanella universe - because this relationship is different for her. She keeps that overt boldness private for them, because it's for them and not for anyone else and she doesn't have to weaponize it. I think part of what makes their relationship work in my mind is that they can inherently cancel out the more unappealing aspects of their personalities, but they've still had to put in the work to get past their baggage.
One of the things I remember that I leaned on heavily to develop Stella's character in this series, and move past The Fall, is the conversation with the doctor (whose name escapes me because all I could think of when I saw him was JEFFREY FROM COUPLING!!!!!). I remember that quiet conversation with Doctor NotJeffrey being the most telling about how lonely she is and how hard she's worked to push people out of her life. And those were the kinds of things that I knew that I could work with - knew that I wanted to work with. That, combined with the last shot of her alone in her kitchen after the whole ordeal is what made me believe that she was capable of more than fleeting one-night stands and could be ready to form a connection with someone.
I also think the Working Hard stories within the series are probably the closest to any public boldness Hank has gotten from her, but because they're both in on the game and she's given herself permission to have fun with it.
I'm sorry for the long ramble and I know you probably wanted me to say yes!!! one time he was waiting for her at a bar and she walked up when he wasn't looking and grabbed his dick through his jeans and cocked her head to the side and he knew it meant 'let's get out of here' and they fucked against the brick wall in the alley and then went back in and had a drink, but I really, really do take these two very seriously and I do have reasons for why they are the way they are.
Too seriously, I know.
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