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#i know is not real for a lot of people but I WAS WRONG OKAY THIS IS AMAZING
jwsverse · 2 days
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𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 timestamp 03:09
pairing ⁝ jake x f!reader
synopsis ⁝ in which jake tells the boys all about his crush on you, and he's way too downbad
genre ⁝ fluff!!! , reader is implied to be "cold", jake is in luv and the boys are real goofs, oh reader os also said to have bunny teeth (sawry if you guys dh it cause i do so im sorry for being self indulgent 😥)
word count ⁝ 0.8k
author's note ⁝ ummmm idk what this is but i wanted to make tbis like black cat x golden retriever typa shii... kinda wanna write a long fic for this icl!' also fhis is NAWTTT proofread
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“you like who?!”
jake stumbles back a bit at the loudness of jake's voice. he chuckles awkwardly, glancing around at the boys who are now gathered around him. even heeseung, who was about to make his leave for his next class, turns around with wide eyes.
“uh, i like y/n?” jake scratches the back of his neck shyly, flushing under the eyes of his friends as well as from his confession, “what's wrong?”
jay jumps from his seat, leaning across with his palms flat om the table as he hurriedly says, “but why? i mean like how? what about y/n? why her?”
jake is a little confused, and it's clear, so sunoo quickly clarifies, “there's nothing wrong with y/n! she's our friend and we love her!” then a pause, and his face scrunches up as he hesitates, “but it's just... you know, y/n. she's not the most cheerful nor is she the friendliest! and you've known her the shortest among us! so you know, we're just shocked.” sunoo ends his ramble with a stiff tilt of his head as he leans back into his seat.
“oh,” jake utters out quietly, flushing red, “but y/n's great. she's not very cheerful or friendly. but she cares a lot! especially for you guys!” he defends.
he doesn't quite understand what the guys are trying to say here. he knows that amongst all of them, he's known you the shortest, considering he joined the friend group late after transferring here. but, feelings don't need explanation, right? there's no reason for liking someone, it's a ‘just because’ kind of thing.
“and she's super pretty! especially when she smiles and laughs, which i know is rare, but she only ever does it around you guys, you know? she hates it but, when her bunny teeth shows it's the cutest thing and i think that makes her so unique. and she may seem cold, but i think she really cares for you guys! like whenever we go to parties, she doesn't drink cause she know you guys would get drunk, so someone has to take care of you guys.” jake rambles. he takes a deep breath, only then noticing the boys' wide eyes all staring at him.
“what?”
sunghoon, who has been silent all this while, shakes his head, gesturing for jake to go on.
“y/n's... well she doesn't show it. but she's actually really sensitive. every time you guys tease her, she may flick you off but deep down, she does get hurt! i mean you can just tell by the way her eyes shift downwards and she goes quiet for awhile.” jake frowns at a fresh memory from just last week when the boys joked about you rejecting a boy who confessed to you too coldly, and you had looked hurt for a second, before masking it up into annoyance.
“she hates it when people see her blush, but when she does, her cheeks don't turn pink, her neck does. and she always tucks her hair back when she's nervous and she'll never make eye contact with you! she's always the happiest when she's with us, and you'll miss her subtle smile if you don't pay attention. her eyes always go brighter and her way of showing care and love is by rolling her eyes and being childish.”
“i like y/n. i really do, i know i've known her the shortest and there are still many things i need to know and understand about her, but i just want you guys to know i'm really sincere about her.”
jake has to take a deep breath once he's finished. his face is red, and his mouth is dry from all the rambling. even so, he wants to go on, and he intends to, until heeseung cuts in, with his palm in his face, stopping him.
“okay that's enough. we get it jake, we trust you.” heeseung utters out with a smirk, finding the flush on his friend's cheeks awfully funny and cute. “we know you're a good guy and we think you'll be good for y/n! let's just take this slowly, okay? let's discuss after class.”
heeseung grabs his bag and heads for the door, turning back to jake as he winks, “don't worry, we won't tell y/n.” he twists the door knob and immediately halts.
right behind the door, stands you with wide eyes in shock and your hand about to knock. the heat is evident in your neck as you glance from heeseung to jake then you look away immediately.
“i...” your throat dries up as you snap out of it and tuck your hair behind your ear in a hurry, “i just wanted to grab my book.” then without looking at any of them, you cover up the side of your neck, sneak pass heeseung to grab your belongings and you run out of the room.
sunoo chuckles awkwardly, “well... at least you got her behavior on point.”
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© jwsverse
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The Arrangement - Chapter 3
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Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.
Warnings: Bad parents, Implied physical abuse. Let me know if I missed any!
Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4
Series Masterlist
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You spend the car ride in silence. If your brother taught you anything about angry men it's that you don't speak to them without permission. You wince at the memories of his wrath which you saw matched in the eyes of Jake, your husband, throughout the wedding. So you keep yourself quiet and small, dreading your wedding night together.
Jake kept himself silent. He could feel your disappointment with him as your husband. You were likely plotting how to control him, make him miserable. He'd let you have the control if that's what you wanted. He can play the role as you need, or as your families need. But it was the private stuff that had him wanting to break. Would you let him play his video games? Would you constantly make fun of him, like so many others, for being himself? How much of himself will he have to sacrifice for the safety and security of his real family?
He pulls into the underground parking garage for the penthouse and parks. Not wanting to get lectured so soon, Jake is immediately out and going to open your door. He doesn't know that you only didn't open it because you weren't given permission. You step out and keep your eyes down so as not to anger him. As much as he's not looking forward to a life with a woman who drains his soul, it still hurts that you're so disappointed in him you can't even look at him.
The elevator ride is worse than the car ride. At least in the car you had buildings and people you could look at. Now it's just you and your eyes on the floor. You should be grateful he hasn't tried to touch you, but the fact that he puts as much distance between the two of you as he can speaks volumes. Jake tries making himself small in the hopes that you won't yell at him for taking up your space. The fact that you refuse to acknowledge him tells him a lot. When the doors open, Jake rushes into the entryway of the penthouse, the silence and tension was suffocating him. You hide your wince and try to make yourself smaller so you don't make him angrier at you than he clearly is.
Clay is waiting for the two of you in the entryway. He smiles, "good to know my pinto's got better speed and mobility than that fancy model they got you driving." Jake scoffs as he unlocks the door, using a keypad with the code he wants to change but knows he'll never be allowed to. Clay turns to you, "I know we were introduced earlier, but the whole thing was rather rushed. I'm Clay, Jake's boss, for lack of a better term." He holds out his hand and you shake it, you try to smile so as not to appear to be rude, but the day is weighing heavily on you.
Jake holds the door open for the two of you.
It's your first time seeing the place and you're immediately saddened by how much of it looks like your mother's tastes and preferences. It's overly crowded with useless, gaudy, overpriced things. You want to throw it all out. It's supposed to be a space for you and your husband, but it's just another reminder of how much your family still controls you. Jake groans as he looks around. Pulling out his phone, he quickly finds several "Internet of Things" devices that are easy to hack. Of course his parents would put in the fanciest refrigerators and thermostats without caring about the security risks. Jake doesn't need his refrigerator to connect to his phone, dammit!
Jake's groan makes you freeze. Clay asks, "what's wrong now?"
"I gotta do some serious cleanup for the sake of security," he grumbles. "Gotta make sure no one else actually gets to set the temperature of the thermostat, that I don't get text messages from my fridge, that my damn toaster doesn't get hacked!" He looks at you, "if that's okay with you, of course." His tone is bitter because he hates that he has to ask your permission for something so basic.
You nod, "of course." You keep your voice small, afraid of angering him any further. He really must hate you.
Clay looks at you, "how about you make yourself comfortable, little lady? I know it's your honeymoon and all, but Jake and I need to talk and who knows how long he's gonna be fixin' this internet problem y'all got."
You look to Jake but he's still on his phone so you ask, "is...is that okay with you?"
He gives you a confused look, "of course."
You make an internal note that, whatever Clay says goes. He's Jake's boss so you're best bet is to keep him happy to make Jake happy.
When you're out of sight Clay turns to Jake. "You best be gentle with that one, Jake. I think she's been through her own kind of hell."
"She's the spitting image of her mother, hasn't said a single word, can't even look me in the eye," Jake grouses. "She hates me and I'm likely going to spend the rest of my life never being good enough for her."
"I ain't so sure about that," he muses. "I get the impression she's afraid of you."
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Chapter 2 -- Chapter 4
Series Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness;
@ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @ronearoundblindly
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ladyisabelsblade · 3 days
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My Live Reactions to X-Men Origins: Wolverine
A text thread between me and my friend.
---
Just watched the opening sequence and it’s so fucking funny when you’re high
Dude that guy with the two guns, his sequence kind of slapped
And then the other guy punched a tank. Yo….
This Deadpool looks like an idiot with the swords but he’s still pretty funny lol
Why does he know Swahili?????
Oh no! They’re colonizers!!???
But not Wolverine, he cares about black people, that’s how you can tell he’s the good guy
Little brother, breaking cycles of abuse
JIMMY
--wolverine says racism is wrong! --have u seen his cartoon claws yet?
They didn’t look that bad but I am high so I don’t care
The action sequences aren’t half as bad as in last stand
Or at least I’m too high to notice if they are lol
WOAH SGIRT OFF
--u see a lot of hugh jackman nipples
Lumberjack Wolverine, wow
Just wow he’s wow
"Your country needs you” “I’m Canadian”
Aw, I like this girl. She’s so gonna die
What the fuck is this stupid story?
Even Logan thinks it’s stupid.
Most clumsily overt foreshadowing ever
Oop, yep she dying
--lmao --yea she lasts under 10 mins thats hilarious
Damn fucking eviscerated
Manly man scream
He ruthless
LMFAOOOO AND THEN HE GETS HIT BY A TRUCK
--relatable tbh
He’s so oiled up
Damn the dramatic irony is dramatic irony-ing
The Adamantium looks like the aftermath of a lush bath bomb
--ooooh ur not at the cartoon claws yet --he’s still all boney
Yee
LMAOOOO THEY LOOK PLASTIC
HIS ASS OUT
--ASS ASS ASS
Cover up your tits you preening slut precursor
They look so stupid just do practical effects you idiots
YES THE JACKET
WHAAAAATTTT HOW COULD YOU KILL THAT OLD LADY WTF
I should have seen that coming
EXPLOSIONS SLAY QUEEN
--who exploded things?
Everyone but Logan exploding the helicopter was slay queen
--lol this movie is such a blur for me, i love reexperiencing in real time
Oh this is the bad part
Fucking blob omg
--ah yes --and will i am
I like will I am he ain’t bad
And boxer Logan, boxer Logan is saving this scene for me
--idr him good or bad, i just remember he's will i am
He is
I laughed so hard when his name came up during the opening credits
--its a great jumpscare
Local man discovers his girlfriend was fridged for his character development
REMY LA BOU
OH NO HES HOT
--is this the first time uv seen gambit in something? like have u seen him in the cartoons or stuff?
and poker? This is like combining every old lady white woman’s wet dream together: lumberjack, boxer, poker player
No I’ve never seen the cartoons man
--by far the most loved x-man
GRABBED HIM BY THE SPINE WHAT THE DUCK
gambit slays here dude
Will I am dead
--u have the best one liners omg
I’m over an hour in and I’m really enjoying this movie, being high is really elevating my experience
--its probably greaat high ngl
It’s just like fun moment after fun moment, I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense
--its my dad's favorite hated movie --its so fun
He’s right, I can’t believe you told me this was worse than last stand
--idr last stand at all ngl
Oh, well it was really bad
My man is more okay with jumping out of a plane than flying in one
SCOTT
YOUR EYES SCOTT
sir this is an operating room you can’t be here
Damn, this is freaky, I thought Stryker was a creep in x2
KAYLAS BACK
WHAT THE FUCK
oh it’s mystique isn’t it
NO ITS NOT WHAT THE FUCK
Damn that’s cold
No, poor baby he’s so sad
They were together for 6 years damn
Yo this is so dope
This fight
--have u gotten to deadpool
Kayla, now is not the time
Not yet
--thats THE thing
I know
But here he comes
HE LOOKS SO STUPID
XAVIER MY MAN
Yo the black around the eyes thing kind of slayed tho
Damn fucking sliced his head off
Oh shit damn
Do they look out for eachother because you kind of suck ass victor
YESSSSS GAMBIT
Kayla come on don’t die
Again
HOLY SHIT STRYJER
AYO WHAT THE FUCK
girl this movies good I don’t know what you’re talking about
That was so slay Kayla
But you’re still probably dying
PROFESSOR
I LOVE YOU EVEN THIUGH YOURE BADLY CGIED
LNAO THE MUTANTS RUNNING AWAY
he don’t even remember her that’s so fucking sad dude
damn wtf tear my heart out why don’t ya
This movies cheesy but it’s hitting all the right beats
Like this is a pretty good origin story movie
Probably a horrible stand alone movie, but if I pretend like I’m watching a bunch of flashbacks stitched together it’s pretty good
Oooo two post credits scenes
LMAO TEASING A DEADPOOL COMEBAJX BUT HE NEVER DOES
--he kiinda does
In Deadpool 2?
--yea lol
Comes back just to die
--good
lol he wasn’t too bad but I think I’d have a different opinion if he was sober and there weren’t already two other great Deadpool movies
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hyperfixingfr · 2 days
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I'm putting this in the tags for the people who are sending me rude asks. Please do the mature thing and just don't send me nasty things. Thanks.
For the last time since I keep getting nasty fucking asks about it insulting me and calling me names; I am not tryna run none of you people outta this damn fandom and that was never my goal so quit playing victim and pretending I am. This is a fandom for everyone, obviously... Which is why I criticize when you guys treat it like it isn't. I was trying countless times yesterday to drop the conversation when the person arguing with me kept insisting that they had an issue with me talking about an aspect they didn't like, because they were arguing with me over an opinion I had that they didn't like, not over something that mattered. This aspect personally affected me, and many others in the server. This isn't an aspect I enjoy people pretending is cute or funny because it caused very, very real damage to things like body positivity. I don't try to fight with ANYONE here, ever. My entire goal in these situations is to educate when someone believes this is bad behavior by explaining why it's problematic to gloss over this aspect or glorify it when it was a very real issue. Please, ask yourself why you're beefing with a minor. I beg of you. This person had no intention to listen to me, OR the server owner, when we told them that they can have different opinions and simply ignore it if they don't like it. They also ignored the countless attempts at de-escalating the situation, proving they just wanted to argue about it.
I should also mention this person said some really nasty things that implied I was apart of cancel culture, or on the "everything is problematic" bandwagon which is kind of implying they think that criticizing bigotry is wrong, even when it's coming from the minority group it affected. My criticizing of a media is not disliking of a media, nor is it "cancel culture". I am not trying to CANCEL a show from the 2000s. I am merely pointing out its flaws. If you can't handle being apart of a morally flawed show's fandom, don't be apart of it. Not only that, but this person made passive aggressive comments such as "wow you ramble a lot" completely unnecessarily when I was speaking. Why was this needed? I know I do. Why are you trying to insinuate that my passion about the subject is weird? Either way, I wasn't trying to have this fight. They were. This person said a lot of insensitive things to me, claiming I pulled the autism card when I rebuttaled the "wow you ramble a lot" stuff, telling me they had an issue with me merely discussing a topic that was 100% allowed in the server (stated by the server owner, the channel was allowed for criticism), and was overall very passionate about putting me in the wrong for simply pointing out and discussing the flaws of a show because it was brought up. That's not okay and that's incredibly judgy. I dunno why this person can't admit they're wrong, but it's not hard to understand that my criticism is not unwarranted nor is it unwelcome. I did nothing wrong by speaking about it in a channel that directly said criticism was allowed.
Do not play victim when you started the argument AND fueled the argument when people tried to stop it. Simple as. I'm really hoping this person realizes they're wrong and apologizes appropriately like a mature adult, because this is ridiculous. This is such a stupid thing for them to have fought me over and no one's gonna be upset if they just... Did the right thing and apologize. This applies to ANY of you who mess up. If you mess up and realize you've done something you shouldn't have, just apologize man. Especially in a case like this where the person was arguing over "toma-to, tamato-e" or whatever. They didn't like my WARRENTED opinion and they got on my ass about it repeatedly, and I got nothing out of asking them why they held it because their response was basically "you don't like this media how I like it, so you can't possibly like it, get out". Hence, them asking why I'm in a server of fans if I... "Don't like the show". Simply because I criticized an aspect.
Please, if any of you don't believe me, the server is open for the public. You can go in there and see the conversation yourself. I am not hiding myself at all from this, and I'm glad to share evidence that I did just as I said and they did just as I said. This is a stupid fvking argument and any of you still dragging it on should be ashamed for thinking this is worth arguing about. People have opinions, leave it at that. What happened to respecting valid stances?
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merwgue · 17 hours
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Azriel & Rhysand: The Self-Hating Illyrians? Let’s Talk About That…
Alright, so let's dive into something that’s been bugging me for a while: the way Azriel and Rhysand talk about Illyrians—and how it mirrors their own insecurities and self-hatred toward their own race. Now, I know we all love our brooding shadowsinger and we tolerate (thats the nicest thing i can say okay???) Rhysand, but let’s call a spade a spade. These guys are racist to themselves, and it shows in how they talk about, treat, and rule Illyria.
First off, Azriel. The man has been through some serious trauma—no one is denying that. The abuse he faced as a child at the hands of his Illyrian family was horrific. But because of that, he carries this internalized hatred towards his own people. He sees Illyrians as “brutes,” and that’s not just a throwaway comment. It’s an insight into how he views himself as an Illyrian. He’s distanced himself from his race because it’s too painful for him to reconcile with what they represent to him—his own past, his pain, his trauma. Instead of embracing his heritage and trying to heal from it, he’s rejected it entirely, which is… problematic, to say the least.
Now, let’s talk about Rhysand. Yes, he’s half Illyrian, and yet, what does he do? He rules over Illyria like a colonizer. He’s constantly talking about how brutal and savage the Illyrians are, how they need to be “controlled” and “disciplined.” Sound familiar? Rhysand’s actions in Illyria are more about projecting his own insecurities about being half Illyrian than about actually ruling fairly. He’s ashamed of his heritage and so, instead of working with the Illyrians to improve things, he enforces harsh rule, stifling them instead of helping them grow.
What’s worse is that they both act like they’re doing Illyria a favor by stepping in and being these benevolent rulers. But honestly, what they’re doing is just mirroring their internalized racism. They can’t accept their own Illyrian roots, so they enforce those insecurities onto the people. Rhysand and Azriel might think they’re “better” because they’ve moved beyond the more traditional Illyrian ways, but really, they’re just turning their backs on their own heritage. And that’s not empowerment—that’s self-hatred.
Now, let’s touch on the Elriel shippers. First of all, ship whoever you want—I’m not here to police your ships. But what I am here to say is this: erasing Azriel’s Illyrian identity to fit into a certain romantic narrative is just wrong. Part of what makes Azriel, Azriel, is his struggle with his own identity. It’s his journey of trying to reconcile the trauma of his past with the culture he comes from. There’s depth there, and it’s a storyline that needs resolution, not erasure.
Some Elriel shippers think that in his potential book (if SJM ever gives it to them), Azriel should fully distance himself from Illyria, take off his tattoos, and basically reinvent himself into a whole new character. Excuse me, but what? That’s not character growth, that’s character erasure. The Illyrian tattoos are a symbol of his heritage, his connection to his people. Sure, he has a lot of complicated feelings about Illyria because of his past, but that doesn’t mean the answer is to remove all traces of it from his life.
You can’t just “remove” your culture. It’s something you’re born into, something that shapes you, whether you like it or not. It’s tied to your ancestors, your lineage. For Azriel to fully come to terms with who he is, he has to accept that, yes, he’s Illyrian. He can’t get over that by erasing it—he has to embrace it, faults and all, and move forward. That’s what real growth would look like.
By pushing for Azriel to cut ties with Illyria entirely, some of these shippers are promoting a racist narrative, whether they realize it or not. It’s saying that Azriel can only be worthy of love or redemption if he fully removes himself from the culture that raised him. And that’s just wrong. His identity crisis is not something that should be “fixed” by wiping the slate clean. It should be something he works through, learns from, and ultimately accepts as part of himself.
In fact, if we want real character development, Azriel’s arc should focus on him embracing his Illyrian heritage, understanding that while there are negative aspects of his past, that doesn’t define all of Illyria or his future. His story shouldn’t end with him running away from his culture, but with him reclaiming it on his own terms. The Illyrian culture, with all its flaws, is still his culture, and rejecting it completely would mean rejecting a core part of who he is. Instead of distancing himself further, Azriel needs to find a way to reconcile with the Illyrian identity, maybe even becoming a figure of change within his own race. Rather than mirroring the oppressive behavior of Rhysand, who seeks to control and stifle the Illyrians, Azriel could be the bridge that finally helps Illyria evolve into something better—something that preserves the strength of its people while discarding the more harmful traditions.
Imagine an arc where Azriel not only accepts his heritage but becomes a leader for Illyrian reform, where he champions education, equality, and opportunity for both the males and the females of his race. That would be growth. That would be healing. And let’s be honest, Azriel’s character needs that kind of closure after all the trauma he’s been through. But it has to come from a place of embracing who he is, not trying to erase it.
Now, coming back to Rhysand for a second—his treatment of Illyria is a whole other can of worms. It’s easy to label him as a progressive leader because of how he treats some of his people (read: his Inner Circle), but his actions toward the Illyrians tell a different story. Rhysand rules Illyria through fear and force, much like the High Lords he claims to be better than. He keeps the Illyrians in line with brute power, allowing their wings to be clipped, their women to be oppressed, and their men to be locked into a cycle of violent traditions. And let’s not forget, he’s never really done anything to truly help the Illyrians rise above their current state. Instead, he’s more focused on maintaining control over them, making sure they don’t challenge his authority.
Rhysand’s rule in Illyria is a dictatorship, no matter how you spin it. He pretends to be “freeing” people, but what he’s actually doing is ensuring they stay under his thumb. And Azriel, who has internalized so much hatred for his own race, is complicit in this. He doesn’t push for change or reform because he’s too caught up in his own disdain for his heritage. In a way, Rhysand and Azriel’s attitudes toward Illyria are two sides of the same coin. Rhysand rules it with an iron fist, and Azriel, with his internalized racism, sees that as justified.
Let’s also not forget the dynamic between Rhysand and Azriel within the Inner Circle itself. The Night Court, while seemingly “progressive,” is built on a hierarchy that’s not so different from the oppression they claim to fight. Rhysand keeps a tight leash on his friends, and Azriel, with all his inner conflict and loyalty, falls in line. His insecurities about his heritage make him more susceptible to Rhysand’s control because, in a way, Azriel believes he’s lesser. He believes he’s damaged because of his past, and that allows Rhysand to subtly manipulate him, never pushing him to embrace his Illyrian roots, because that would threaten the order Rhysand has established.
Which brings us back to the issue with the fandom. There are fans out there who, for some reason, want Azriel to completely erase his Illyrian identity, thinking it’s part of his “growth.” But how is denying where you come from, and what shaped you, growth?
The idea that Azriel could just “remove” the Illyrian part of himself and somehow become a better character is incredibly damaging. It promotes the idea that you can (and should) sever ties with your roots if they’re painful or complicated. But that’s not how real people heal, and it’s not how characters should evolve either. If anything, Azriel should be diving deeper into his Illyrian heritage, understanding that while there’s darkness there, there’s also strength and resilience—and that’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
In the end, what Azriel needs isn’t to “get over” being Illyrian. He needs to accept it, embrace it, and find a way to redefine what it means to him. And Rhysand, for all his posturing as a forward-thinking High Lord, needs to stop ruling Illyria with fear and suppression, and instead, actually help his people rise up. Otherwise, they’re both just perpetuating a cycle of self-hatred and control that benefits no one, least of all themselves.
Ty @shadowqueenjude for the idea pookster
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nomoreusername · 2 days
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Out of Denial
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Pairing:Gally x gender neutral reader
Summary: Seeing Gally again brings up emotions you thought you pushed past.
“You were supposed to be dead?!”
“Good to see you too.”
“That's not-that isn't what I meant. It's just-I-we watched you get impaled. That would kill anyone. How are you here, Gally? That's insane. This is insane,”I rambled.
“So is life, seeing as I’m still in it.”
“This is crazy. This just feels like a nightmare,”I admitted, handing him the icepack for his nose. While it didn't look swollen, Thomas had still punched him in the face. Who knows what he would look like tomorrow?
Who even knew he would be awake tomorrow?
I certainly didn't.
“I don't know what you want me to say. I survived, I got picked up, now I’m here,”He listed, placing it on his face.
“That’s an insane thing to survive though. It’s almost unsurvivable, and you're just alive? I mean I’m happy about that. I really am, but it's still a lot. You could always be unexpected, but this is a new level,”I tried to explain.
“I’m alive though. Shouldn't that make you happy?”He pointed out.
“It's not that easy. I have been grieving you for almost a year now. I lived my life in constant mourning for people dying in front of me and for the person who means everything. Now that you're actually here, my mind has this urge to deny everything else. It wants to make up stories where I can see Alby and Winston and everyone else again,”I sighed, purposely not saying Chuck. Sitting beside him, I rested my head on the couch as I looked at him, my feet tucked under me as I took in the information.
“This is good though. It should be good that I’m alive,”He mumbled.
“It is, but it just makes me want to make up all these stories that I know aren't true. It's like since one person I care about isn't actually dead, maybe nobody else is either. Maybe everyone else is living out a secret life. And I know that sounds crazy, and I know it isn't true, but some part of me is so tempted to believe it.”
“I’m sorry. I really wanted to contact you, but I didn't know how. I didn't know where to even start looking, and I didn't know if anybody would want to see me. I didn't mean to make it harder.”
“It's not that you made it harder. I used to spend almost all my time justifying exactly this. Justifying why you were actually okay and safe. Then, I had to push past that and accept that you were never coming back. Now you are back though, and I have to accept that that's not happening for anybody else. It's a lot to take in and accept, on top of what we came here for. There's just so much going on in so little time.”
“I know there is, and I hate that I just threw this on you, but I had to. I saw you, and I had to see you for real again.”
“Gally, do you think that everything will just go back to the way it was before this?”I asked slowly, my expression dropping at the thought.
“No. Not really, but a guy can dream,”He shrugged, leaning his head back. He placed his icepack in his lap before turning to face me. “So where do we start then? Where do we go from here?”
“I don't know,”I admitted.
“Well, I don't either. I wish I did, that I had the answers, but I barely have answers for what's been going on in the past several months, much less hours.”
“It's not your fault,”I repeated.
“Maybe. Maybe not. I can't tell anymore.”
“I can, and you know I’ll call you out when you do something wrong. Right now, you don't have to be. You’ve been through enough. We all have, and it's not your fault life won't give any of us a break.”
“You really mean that?”
“Of course,”I smiled.
“Well, thanks. For the advice. And the icepack,”He smiled back, holding it up.
“It was the least I could do after leaving you like that,”I promised.
“You don't think I blame you for that, do you?”
“I don't know. I’ve been trying not to think about it,”I admitted.
“But now you have to,”He added, reading my mind.
“Yeah. I guess I do.”
“And I have to help think about what we do next, don't I?”
“About us?”I confirmed.
“Yeah. About us.”
“Yeah. I guess you do.”
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egg-emperor · 2 days
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I don't reflect on it much now but it's times like these where I get harsh reminders of how bad of a year 2022 was and realize how far I've come
Becoming the target of harassment and slander due to a combination of my Eggman creations and then being blamed for my abuse after learning the reasons behind it was really hard. I almost died months before that campaign even happened because I was in a terrible place anyway and some knew and still hurt me and made it worse. They made me regret surviving for a while. And if I expressed how hurt I was by it all, I was called manipulative
I lost so much in so many ways and had vile things said about me and my abuse and if it wasn't for the real friends and the lovely followers and anons who stuck by and supported me, I don't think I'd still be here. I was still acting out in terrible ways online for a while after because I was in an absolute awful place mentally due to irl and online struggles. There's a lot of deleted posts and DMs I regret but I genuinely wasn't thinking right for months, my mind was genuinely fucked
I developed some bad habits that I haven't fully recovered from and fluctuate between how bad they are but I'm glad it's one of the only things left to work on. The stress, anxiety, and depression of 2022 worsened my health issues a lot as last year I started experiencing increased fainting and other physical health issues. At that point I realized I needed a change for my safety and health. For a while I didn't even feel like I deserved to be helped so it was hard but I finally did it
Now I'm getting support with bills, going to doctor and hospital appointments to look into my disability for diagnosis and hopefully to be helped, I have a therapist I just started with. I'm personally not an SSRI meds kind of guy so I've been doing every other method to recover instead. I've also made a ton of progress mentally on my own with my mindset, it's far less of a negative and angry place than it was then. I manage how I deal with setbacks better, I don't feel like I'm back at square one when things get bad now
I spend far less time thinking about what happened or letting their negativity consume me. There's been a few times since where parts of it have come back up and it's been challenging at times but I can handle them more rationally and be the sensible level-headed one and assure that I don't go back to that place. It's okay for me to be hurt by it and realize what happened to me was wrong but I don't let it haunt me every moment anymore. It's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake and last when I go to sleep
And I've realized what really matters and what's really important to me. The passion and joyful expression of the things I love and all the great people that are still here that I have the delight of getting to know and talk to. There's still a lot of challenges coming up in the future but I'm happy that it has nothing to do with everything back then. I want to express myself and my passion and never feel the shame they wanted me to. I want to get better. I finally want to live. I have hope and believe better times are ahead
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And I'm very grateful for everyone who is warm, kind and supportive of me along the way. I appreciate everyone who is accepting of me and make me feel like I finally belong somewhere. Thank you 💜
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skunkes · 9 months
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frumentariae · 13 days
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vent. sorry i’m honesty hangry and upset
actually i’m still annoyed. has anyone in this damn fandom heard of filtering tags. for shit. they don’t like
also like not to be ‘what about’ but seriously if your biggest problems are fucking shipping wars on tumblr dot com i envy you. truly.
#misc: personal text#also not to Make It Like That but like#a lot of the people i know who like making art about the legion and/or caecade and vulcade#are people of color as well. like do y’all not hear yourselves. asking racially marginalized people who have historically experienced#slavery/forced cultural assimilation#and a host of other issues#if they LIKE SLAVERY and APPROVE of it IN REAL LIFE#fiction can inform reality yes but truly? it is not that deep. some people like dark themes in fiction. be okay with it#i’m indigenous. much of the legion’s narrative is specifically anti-indigenous. i am *literally the product of genocide*#i still enjoy exploring stories with it. because i can choose to like things. or not like them.#some people like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction. that does not mean they approve of it.#and DO NOT come at me saying ‘wuh wuh wuh well that means you approve of csam and you’re a pro shipper’ or whatever the fuck people are#saying now. because that is NOT what i’m saying and it is not the same. and you damn well know that.#a piece of creative work does not have to always make you comfortable. i like exploring morally challenging narratives. i like nuance.#i like grey areas in my fiction.#does that mean i condone that irl? hell no#because i know what im about. i know my values. and they’re not necessarily reflected in my storytelling or art#personally i think that exploring horror and toxicity in fiction is a good way to build reading comprehension (once you’ve ‘built’#the thinking muscles for it).#honestly i’m just so so so so tired of this moral scare around always Liking The Right Things#and if you like the Wrong Things and Wrong Media that makes you Bad.#it’s fucking dumb#learn to filter out the shit you don’t like. you are allowed to not like things.
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longagoitwastuesday · 14 days
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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swiftielouie55 · 11 months
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the other day it was the first time i’d read a steddie minific… it’s been two fucking days and i can’t get enough of it. IT’S HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN
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innytoes · 1 year
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Jukebogs (Julie/Luke/Reggie/Bobby), Ghost Hunters AU
"Like every episode of Ghost Bros," Luke was giving his usual spiel to the camera. "Reggie and I will be doing our investigation in the house, trying to capture evidence. Then, our resident psychic Julie will tell us if this place is actually haunted, or if our camera man Bobby used his weed dealer's connections to find another random creepy abandoned house with no ghosts."
"Stop antagonizing him!" Reggie said nervously. "Last time you antagonized him, he nearly made me pee myself during the solo investigation."
Bobby turned the camera around to film his own unimpressed face. "Luke was supposed to find that ventriloquist dummy with the knife covered in ketchup, not you," he deadpanned, before swinging the camera back around to Luke and Reggie.
Julie sighed. She knew the boy's shenanigans was part of the draw of the show, but she was the one who usually had to deal with Reggie clinging to her all night, before ghosts generally listened when she told them to buzz off. Not that they usually slept in haunted locations, except for the season finale.
"Sooo," the cute boy in the crop top who hadn't been there two seconds ago started. "Can I mess with them? Please tell me I can mess with them."
"We are not messing with them!" Another boy in a pink hoodie said. "If we mess with them, we're going to have every ghost hunter with a shitty Youtube Channel clamouring through our house, messing with our stuff. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get that dent in the couch right for my ghost butt?"
"Don't worry," Julie whispered, as to not alert the (alive) boys. "We never give up our haunted locations unless the ghosts ask us to."
"Holy shit she is psychic!" Crop Top whispered gleefully.
"Tell them to stay off my couch!" Hoodie said urgently.
"I will," Julie promised. She could let Bobby know, and he'd keep them off. "But only if you promise to go easy on Reggie."
"What about the camera man?" Crop Top asked.
Julie blinked. None of the spirits had ever really interacted with Bobby before. The ones who knew what a camera was respected his position, and the ones who didn't were usually distracted by the two idiots loudly asking questions and waving around various gadgets and asking them to touch flashlights.
"You should totally mess with the camera man," she decided. Bobby was not so much a skeptic - none of the boys were, they believed in what Julie could do- but he was pretty un-phased by pretty much everything. "That would make a great season finale."
(Send me an AU and a Pairing and I'll write you a thing.)
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trash-bin-ary · 6 hours
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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cherrymoonvol6 · 20 days
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#lately i've been going to twitter to get some lunter action bc most fanartists are there#and god it's just so annoying that over there they're stuck in a 5 day cycle of the same discourse over and over again#is it okay to ship this or is this a dirty nasty morally questionable proship? uwu#then the realization is 'yes lunter actually isn't a disgusting perverted proship which makes it okay to exists even if i HATE it'#and then two days later someone is like um akshually it's disgusting because incest and here we fucking go again#god. we need to extirp anyone under 16 years old from the internet. you have not developed enough brain matter to be on social media#(now if you're an adult unironically arguing in that discourse you either have a lot of free time or i just need to block you)#but man. like i wanna say to those lunter defenders..... can't you see what's wrong?#can't you see that the moment you've chosen to accept the premise of there being 'good' and 'reproachable' ships you've already lost?#that someone will always be able to pick a 'problematic' aspect in any ship ever?#that entertaining that idea from the beginning is the absolute worst thing you could do?#like i prefer when people call lunter boring. okay yeah i do Not see what you're seeing but also#thank fucking GOD we're bringing up actually relevant stuff here#like part of me is so fascinated about this. how murder seems to be the only thing that's accepted in media as a narrative tool#(and at some extent even that is too much)#but this yet again goes back to..... well what the fuck do you interact with fiction and media in the first place#when you're COMPLETELY unwilling to acknowledge any of these things as FICTION (not real) in the first place?#where your favorite character is the most morally correct and your favorite ship is the 'healthiest'?#i just wish we were able to talk about who the characters are and what their dynamic means in the show you know#instead of recycling the same reasons why it's morally 'okay' to be interested in them over and over and over and over and over and over and
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musical-chick-13 · 9 months
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Again, always very confusing to me when people suffering from The Obsessive Compulsives are Antis™, like these people will not protect you. They believe thought crimes are real. They inherently hate you and WILL throw you to the wolves if they ever come to know about anything related to your intrusive thoughts or the """""weird""""" things they ask you to do in therapy to manage/cope with them.
#you know how in erp a big part of it is writing down/thinking about the actual worst case scenario? you know the scenario that#often leads to people being harmed in a permanent way? you know creating a fictional scenario where bad things happen to good#people and you are the cause of them? THE VERY KIND OF FICTION THESE PEOPLE ARE AGAINST EXISTING IN ANY FORM BECAUSE IT#'NORMALIZES' WHATEVER TF THEY'RE ON A CRUSADE ABOUT ON ANY GIVEN DAY#THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. THIS WAY OF THINKING IS /ACTIVELY ANTITHETICAL/ TO RECOVERY FROM THIS DISORDER#this is related to the 'does anyone else get Themes™ about writing' question I posed a while back and some of these people..........#if you knew the specifics of what I was writing about you would COMMIT ARSON#IT'S NOT REAL! NONE OF THIS IS REAL!! YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE FOR YOURSELF BY MORALIZING FICTION IN THIS WAY#I USED TO HAVE CRISES OVER SYMPATHIZING WITH AND ENJOYING VARIOUS HORRIBLE FICTIONAL WOMEN TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS DIRECTLY!!!!!!!#and ngl a lot of these arguments about why xyz is Irredeemable™ sound a LOT like my disorder.#(especially in the way they try to like...twist things into fitting into a definition of [insert type of problematic dynamic here] a la#'character raising their voice at someone one time during a high-stakes situation is abuse' or 'people who were friends as children#are Related Actually')#like. you get why. you get why this VERY disorder would think in similar ways to that right. because it tries to convince you that#everything you do is violating various human rights correct? you get why this would be unhelpful right?#IF YOU SOUND LIKE MY FUCKING DISORDER!!! YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!#In the Vents#okay I'm done. this just. It BUGS me.
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themyscirah · 2 months
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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