#i know it is entirely within my right to address these things both for my sake and for his / his future clients but im so scared lol like i

[pepprs]

meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying

[unfriedough]

Hey sorry if your request aren’t open but I had a thought about Zuko x water tribe/bender reader!Like three years after the war he wants to propose to reader and So he ask Katara and Sokka about marriage traditions within the tribe and he carves a betrothal necklace for her?? And the readers reaction!! Thank you

An: HEY. Sorry this took like, so long I think you requested last summer, however I’ve kinda lost most of my determination to write and this account became more of a chore than what I had initially wanted. Either way, maybe somehow I’ll be able to be more consistent soon but I also don’t wanna make myself hate writing so :(

Thank you for requesting, I really do appreciate it, hope you enjoy :)

Zuko’s nose twitched as the cold nipped away at his extremities, huddled up in a few too many jackets. There’s a striking difference between cold and cold and right now he wished he was on fire.

Your gloved hand was intertwined with his as you lead him off of the fire nation ship and onto the white snow of the southern water tribe. This trip was planned as a way to visit Sokka and Katara, but Zuko had another plan in mind.

Finally, after three years of struggling to settle down, the fire people finally relaxed and he was able to make more time. In that time, he realized he’d wanted to marry you more than anything. So here he was, in a nation far too cold for someone like him, with a goal in mind.

He had exactly 5 days (and a half if you’re counting from now) to get ready a betrothal necklace. Why a necklace? Well, Zuko had watched you for days on end in the castle library, a book bigger than your head on the table being analysed by your eyes. You’d smile brightly when you locked eyes, and call him over. He’d sit next to you, shoulder to shoulder, attempting to read with you. The books were always about old water tribe traditions, tales, legends, history, everything of the sort. You’d wanted to stay connected to your culture and upbringing - it made you who you were today.

And so that brings you to today, here, the water tribe.

“Katara!” You squealed, running forward and pulling her into a hug. You two squeezed each other tightly, excited noises being expressed.

Zuko and Sokka nodded to each other, trying to be kinda nonchalant but Sokka couldn’t hold it much longer, he sprinted at Zuko and tackled him to the ground into an oh-so-warm hug. You laughed at the site, Katara too. Zuko felt a twinge of pink on his cheek, from the cold or embarrassment he couldn’t really tell, but he still wrapped his shaking arm around his buddy. After a few more ‘I missed you!’s and giggles, Zuko and Sokka got back up. Katara grabbed your hand and pulled you deeper into the village, you laughed the entire way, giddy from being back home here with your family. You threw a glance backwards at the fire lord, there was something very slightly off about the way he was smiling, you brushed it off as just the cold getting to him.

It was most definitely the cold getting to him.

Sokka led him to the ice on the outskirts of the village and brought some chairs along. They were gonna go fishing while they talked. As they both sat, another shiver ran up the poor fire bender’s back.

“How do you guys survive the cold?” He groaned.

Sokka chuckled, handing him a rod, pushing the bucket of bait closer to him, “You get used to it… I could ask you the same thing about the heat,”

“I’m a fire bender it’s in my blood,”

“Yeah well you learn a thing or two when your lovely sister starts learning how to bend and suddenly you’re always wet,” he cast the line, leaning back, putting one leg over the other.

“I guess,” he laughed.

They sat in a suffocating silence for a minute, Zuko just awkwardly holding the pole and Sokka staring into the sky.

“Are we going to address the camelephant in the room?”

Zuko looked to him from his peripheral, “I’m kinda nervous I guess, I don’t know what to do,”

Sokka sat up a little straighter, getting up to help Zuko with his fishing issues. He stood behind him and helped his arm into the correct place, slowly to be sure he understood.

“Just like fishing, you have to be precise and confident to get what you want, and if you cast your line just right, you’ll catch the fish,” he winked once the bob hit the water, stepping back to admire his own work.

“Not sure that’s the best metaphor,”

“Say you love it, he's been working on it ever since you wrote to him,” Katara rolled her eyes, holding your hand as you both struggled to not slip on the ice.

“KATARA.”

Zuko couldn't help but laugh, then he was met with the puzzled look on your face.

“I thought this was a surprise trip, when’d you write to them,” you tilted your head, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“…needed to make sure they were free,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“That totally checks out,” you rolled your eyes, getting a serious case of FOMO.

Sokka coughed to try to clear the awkwardness, “So fishing…”

“What’re you trying to catch anyways?”

“Does it matter, it’s about the process YN get with the times,”

“Since when did you fish for fun?”

“Since now.”

“I thought you hated fishing,” you were all standing up by this point, including Sokka and Zuko.

“Only because Miss Katara always splashed me,”

“And I won’t hesitate to do it again!” She bent a small stream into his face, giggling when he stumbled back.

“Oh it’s on Katara,” he paused, “As soon as I get snow,” he waddled away to get to the snow on shore.

You laughed when the waterbender used more ice to cause him to slip.

“I’ll go help him up,” you laughed, moving towards him as he laid helplessly on the ice, not even bothering to get up anymore.

Zuko watched your figure, missing the way Katara turned to look at him.

“I think you should do it here,”

“What?”

“The proposal,”

“That’s not enough time, it’s barely enough for me to learn how to carve the necklace,”

“Lucky for you, Sokka’s pretty efficient with plans, he’s been plotting since you told him,”

The fire bender smiled, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jacket. “Okay, maybe, but how can I get started when she’s with us all the time?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle her,” she smirked.

-

“Are you sure this is safe?” You shivered, standing in your bathing suit on top of a huge rock, below it freezing water.

“No!” Katara, “But let’s do it anyways,”

“I don’t know, what if I freeze?”

“Good thing we have a fire bender with us,” she pointed to Zuko, who was in the distance learning about what tools to carve and what stones to use, he’d settled on one that reminded him of your eyes, and the band matching the deep royal blue usually used. He wanted to alter the pattern as a way of commemorating both elements. Currently, he and Sokka were doodling designs on the snow with sticks.

“Look at those dorks, I wonder what they’re doing,”

“You know Sokka, they’re probably drawing,” she laughed nervously.

“Hmm, that kind of looks like a-“ you were cut off as she pushed you off of the rock. You shrieked as you first dropped, then as you got more air time you changed into a more streamlined position with your head downwards. Instant regret when you hit the water though.

You resurfaced, drenched and in pain from the cold. Your fingers felt like they were gonna fall off any second now. Before you got to dwell on it, Katara joined you, also screaming in fun-agony.

“WHY’D YOU PUSH ME?” You splashed her.

“You were talking for too long…” she giggled, going under and pulling you down.

You inhaled a large amount of air before going under, making sure to keep her under with you as well. After a few seconds of freezing cold, you resurfaced, feeling pain in all your joints from the water.

“Why did I ever think this was a good idea?”

“I’m honestly not sure,” she shrugged, waterbending herself back up to the ledge so she could jump again, “But it sure is fun,”

Sokka and Zuko heard a splash in the distance.

“I think Katara is torturing your wife,”

“What?” he mumbled, looking at where you were very clearly lecturing her about something, “What’re they doing?”

“Ice bath, Katara tricked me into doing it once… I never fully recovered,”

Zuko chuckled, using his stick to doodle another design. Which he then stared at for a while.

“This is it.”

“Oh?” Sokka glanced at it, “It’s perfect.”

The men stared at each other proudly, as if they’ve just completed a super hard mission.

Immediately, Sokka took him inside a tent, quickly teaching him methods of carving with different tools. A few more splashes could be heard and you and Katara had fun.

“I wonder what he’s doing to Zuko,”

“Boy stuff,”

You furrowed your brows, “what does that even mean?”

After a lot of time (and a few cuts) Zuko finally had a necklace ready. Sure, it needed to be refined, but his hands were tired and shaky. Sokka patted him on the back, watching the fire bender weave the blue band into the loops.

What they failed to notice was you approaching, now covered in a warm coat.

“What’re y'all up to?” You breathed out, still cold but beginning to gain your senses.

Zuko panicked, hiding it under his leg. You looked at him weird.

By this time, Katara had joined the group, and behind her the sun fell into a pink and purple type hue. Zuko didn’t miss the way your breaths were so laboured, and he took it upon himself to lead you back to where Sokka said you two were staying. You changed into some clothes while he surveyed the room, moving around nervously.

“You’ve been acting weird all day,” you pulled a sweater over the thermal shirt, reaching over to grab an undercoat.

He walked up to you, fingers working shakily to button up the buttons. “Just cold,”

“No, the cold doesn’t make you avoid me.”

“I’m not avoiding you,”

“Really? It feels like Katara and Sokka are trying to keep us apart.” He grabbed another, heavier coat and draped it over your shoulder, you inserted your arms in the holes.

“I didn’t notice,”

“You’re lying,” you stepped back, putting your boots back on and tucking your pants into them.

He frowned, reaching out to you, but you stepped back.

“It’s weird, the letter thing as well- why didn’t you tell me you sent it to them? I thought it was last minute?”

“It was!”

“You’re lying again,” you frowned, folding your arms.

“I promise it’ll all make sense soon,”

“How soon? What’re you hiding?”

“I-“

“Actually. Don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know.” You huffed, storming out of the room, leaving a different kind of cold lingering.

Zuko sat down on the large bed, dropping his head into his hands. He sighed deeply, reaching over multiple layers of clothing to his pocket to pull out the carved stone. Truly, it was mediocre at best. And after this misunderstanding, the sinking feeling of impending rejection poisoned his thoughts. He couldn’t help but trace his finger over the patterns, wondering what could’ve been- he was half sure he was single now.

“I forgot-“ you gasped as you walked back in the room, catching a glimpse of the rock in his hand.

“Yn!” He quickly shoved it behind him.

“Zuko… what was that?”

“What was what?” He said, looking so suspicious it was stupid.

You took a few steps closer, inching towards him slowly, “In your hand,”

“My hand’s empty…”

“Liar…” you dragged on, standing right infront of him now.

“Zuko,”

“Yn,”

You tried pulling at his arms, but he wasn’t budging.

“Cut it out! What’s behind you?”

“Nothing!”

You sighed, walking away in defeat, just as he let his guard down, you pounced, having to grab it and rolling onto the bed. He barely had time to process it when your face immediately changed.

You sat up, moving on your knees towards him on the bed, patting his bicep, “Zuko light,”

The fire lord frowned, embarrassed that he was about to get rejected, although that’s no foreign feeling. A small, dancing red flame illuminated the carved necklace.

“It’s…” you covered your mouth with one hand, tears welling in your eyes.

“Tacky- I know, I just thought- you don’t have to do a-“

“Beautiful…” he glanced sideways at you, “Zuko…”

“This isn’t at all how I wanted this to go…” he sighed, dropping his head.

“No… probably not,” you sniffled, “but it was perfect,” you laughed, he chuckled as well.

He got up, lighting an oil lamp for better lighting. Zuko circled the bed and stood next to you, still nervous and fidgety.

“Yn,” he breathed out, shakily.

You nodded, glossy eyes meeting his.

“The years you’ve spent by my side, against me, with me- those have been the best years of my life. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m truly myself. I’ve never,” he swallowed harshly, “I’ve never felt more at home,” he paused again, looking up at the ceiling, “then when I’m with you.”

You let out a small noise of excitement, bouncing your legs.

“I’ve made so- so many mistakes in my life, every single day of it, but I think… I think letting you go would be my biggest mistake, Yn-“

“YES!!” You pounced on him, hugging him so tight as your heartbeats both skyrocketed.

You giggled as he looped the necklace around your neck, it was simple, and dainty, but most of all it was so Zuko. The more someone could stare at the imperfections in the craftsmanship, the more they’d love it. A man carved it with love and intention.

You held each other for a while, just swaying in the dimly lit room. You leaned back, cupping his face in your hands.

“Is this why we're here? You wanted to carve the necklace?”

“Yeah, pretty much, you ruined my plans though,”

“I did, didn't I?” You giggled.

“I had a lot planned for us, with the help of Sokka of course,”

“Ohh now that makes sense,”

“What makes sense,”

“Literally everything, you were being so weird,”

“I’m not great at keeping secrets,”

“Good, never keep one again,” you kissed his cheek.

“I suppose we should tell Katara and Sokka,”

“Yeah, I suppose we should.”

And so, hand in hand, you walked out to the bonfire, where the siblings sat.

Sokka was so mad his plan foiled.

[saintkaylaa]

Dad!Choso Headcanon MDNI

Papa!Choso

He definitely didn’t even think he could reproduce. Much less get you pregnant within the first year of his existence. He thought that the reproduction of curses was only something his mother could do, not a hereditary trait.

So he ran away with you. Far away to the country side of Japan. Leaving all of the chaos of what was happening in the jujutsu world behind because it wasn't his world anymore. It was you and the little life growing inside you.

You both changed your last names. Hid that you two knew or were a part of the jujutsu world. Your lives were completely turned upside down to ensure this baby had a chance. That your family had a chance.

Choso, especially, did everything he could to ensure your safety. You were not going to meet Choso's mother's same fate, and he would be damned if his children met the same fate as him and his brothers.

This was going to be different. This family was going to be his and his alone to take care of. To protect.

He was no longer “older brother” first; he was “papa” first and an older brother second. Regardless, he was still the leader of his family. Nothing was more important to him than family.

Dad!Choso is more affectionately addressed as Papa!Choso

When he got you pregnant, the only name he used to address you was "mama." Your name too when it came to more serious matters, but 90% of the time you were always "mama”.

“You feeling okay today, mama?”

“Hey mama, do you know where my hair ties are?”

“You’re glowing today, mama.”

“Fuck, you feel so good, mama.”

"Oooh, mama, let’s have another baby.”

“Fuck mama, just like that, squirt on me again.”

Pregnant!You had his mommy kink on high.

Choso is 1000% a girl dad. Never knowing a love quite as powerful as when his first daughter was born. He was hooked. He was completely devoted to the little girl in his arms, who held his entire heart.

This love resulted in five more daughters, despite the first being an absolute miracle. After his second, you and him were both sure that he was just as human as a curse, but Choso was relentless. He wanted a big family, and after you saw the way he was with your firstborn, you wanted the same thing. You had always known how wonderful a brother he was, so why would fatherhood be any different? He was perfect. Your kids were perfect, and after the 6th daughter in a row, you wanted to at least take a break from being pregnant, and Choso understood that, so naturally, your 7th child was born a year later.

A son.

Choso was the eldest brother of the cursed womb death paintings. Half human. Half curse. But when he fell in love with you and reproduced with you, his children took on a similar concept as the death paintings. All of his children were mostly humans with sorcerer abilities or maybe even curses. Who really knew? Choso's genetic makeup was as much a mystery to you as your kids were. You both were not completely sure.

Choso was no longer the eldest brother of the death paintings. He was now the father of the seven virtues.

Ren’Ai the daughter of Love

Hikaeme the daughter of Humility

Emika the daughter of Kindness

Kokumei the daughter of Diligence

Jihi the daughter of Charity

Zenshin the daughter of Temperance

Nintai the son of Patience

— ଘ(੭ ˘ ᵕ˘)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟᵕ꒳ᵕ~

I do not own the rights to Choso. I do reserve the right to the idea of Choso being the father of the 7 virtues and the 7 virtues being personified and sorcerers. Please do not steal, translate, or repost. Reblogs are appreciated ♡

[diedicontroversial]

[discourse] in defiance of the author’s wishes (re: mxtx fandom)

table of contents : context  : moral arguments : addressing the legal side of things  : closing remarks

Context

on March 17, 2018, mxtx posted:

“As long as you don't split or reverse the top/bottom positions of the main couple, I won't mind what you ship. I myself have a lot of fun shipping couples in mainstream shows, and isn't reading all about finding joy? You can imagine freely or ship whoever you like, just don't break up or reverse the top/bottom positions of the main couple.”

(I realise that the 不拆不逆 “no splitting or reversing” rule might be implicit within the entire Chinese danmei fandom, so i do not wish to single mxtx out. for example, i know that Chinese 2ha fans also go around policing people who ship, say, chu wanning with shi mei — so this isn’t just a mxtx thing. although i do not know if other danmei authors have explicitly stated “no splitting or reversing” since i have not been a part of other danmei fandoms.)

Nevertheless, “no splitting or reversing” became the constitution in Chinese mxtx fandom. Fans parade around with the slogan “拆逆死“ which means “kill yourself if you split or reverse”. Since the pronunciation of 拆逆死 (chai-ni-si) sounds like “chinese”, some fans on the Chinese internet have been putting “chinese” in their bios to mean “kill yourself if you split or reverse”.

From now on I will be referring to split/reverse ships as cult ships, as Chinese fans like to call them.

There are two main consequences of the “no splitting or reversing” rule (on the Chinese internet):

You will receive permanent bans with no option for appeal if you post cult ship fanworks in the novel communities on Weibo

It is implicitly agreed upon that you are not allowed to use individual character tags, the novel tag, or the author tag when posting cult ship content on any platform. So, for example, if you write Wei Wuxian x Jiang Cheng, you are not allowed to use #weiwuxian #jiangcheng #mdzs #mxtx. The name given to this conduct of tagging only your cult ship is 圈地自萌, which means “enclose a piece of land and amuse oneself within it”. You are not allowed to step out of your land. 

However, not everyone agrees with the practice of “don’t step out of your land” — this includes people from both sides of the debate. Some official shippers believe that cult shippers should not have any land to begin with, and purposefully leave the cult ship tag unblocked so they can police cult shippers at every opportunity. Some cult shippers believe that because their ship involves the individual characters, originate from the novel written by the author, they are in the right to use the individual character tags, the novel tag, and the author tag, and that people who dislike their ship should just use the block function. 

-

Moral Arguments

There are two main types of moral arguments that Chinese official shippers make.

1. If you split the official ship, you condone cheating behaviour and that makes you a bad person.

The first argument is too trivial so I will leave the refutation as an exercise for the reader to do at home /j

2. You are not respecting the author's wishes and that makes you a bad person.

The author has wished many different things. For example:

Screenshot 1 translation: I strictly forbid any crowdfunding or fundraising related to me, my works, or my characters, regardless of the purpose, whether it be for celebration, group buying, rankings, charity, or any other named activities.

Screenshot 2 translation: Once again, I emphasize: No new social media pages related to my works are allowed, nor organizing readers in a roundabout way, whether it be for celebrations, group buying, rankings, charity, or any other named activities. Please also refrain from flamboyantly organizing any collective birthday events.

Screenshot 3 translation: I've repeated many things many times and do not wish to repeat myself. Could everyone please just listen to my words occasionally.

(A brief aside before I address the second argument, something I used to say when debating Chinese fans: “I don’t think people who violate the author's wishes mean any disrespect. I don’t think they’re shipping or hosting charity events or birthday parties out of spite, but rather, it just so happens that the author prohibits a ship they enjoy or an event they organise. Just because I cult ship, for example, doesn’t mean I hate the author.” And they would respond: “if you really liked the author, you wouldn’t go against her wishes. You do not deserve to like the author. You are a mxtx anti.” And I would say, “I like my mom a lot, but I won’t listen to everything she says, simply because I don’t think everything she says is right. Plus, I don’t think the world can simply be explained by like vs. dislike. Also, Xie Lian said this: [For instance, if you admire or like someone, you won't always treat them well, no matter what happens.]” But then the most hilarious thing happened, in the revised version, a rebuttal for that scene was added:

【”For instance, if you admire or like someone, it doesn't mean you will always treat them well, regardless of what happens."

"Why not?" San Lang questioned. "If that's not possible, it only shows that this so-called 'liking' isn't anything significant."

Xie Lian shifted the conversation, asking, "Then... does it mean that aside from liking someone, the only other option is to dislike them? Are these the only two attitudes one can choose from?"

San Lang chuckled and retorted, "Why not? Right is right, wrong is wrong. To love is to love, to hate is to hate. Why can't things be clear and straightforward?”】

… ah.)

To address the second argument for real, i believe that producers retain no moral authority over the methods by which consumers engage with their products. for instance, i believe that choosing not to follow the official “twist, lick, and dunk” method when eating oreos does not constitute disrespect towards the oreo brand. Or to use another analogy, suppose a farmer selling apples insist that you peel the apples before eating them. I believe that it does not make you a bad person if you choose to eat the apples unpeeled, despite the farmer being the one who watered and harvested the apples from their trees.

I am thinking of potential counterarguments, and the strongest one I came up with is: “but products like oreos and apples are fundamentally different from intellectual property.” And I think the main issue here is that, to employ economics terminology, the content of novels like tgcf is a non-rivalrous good (not the novels themselves but the abstract content), which means that my consumption of it does not reduce availability to others. In other words, unlike Oreos or apples wherein after I purchase them, the specific items I bought are no longer physically in the hands of the vendor; after encountering characters like Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu still exists abstractly in MXTX’s head. This gives the illusion of ownership on the author’s part. I want to be very careful here because I think it’s easy to equivocate between different uses of the word “ownership”. I am not arguing that the author fails to retain ownership in negation of all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into the creative process, i.e. their copyright. Instead, I am contending that, just as I paid for my Oreos and apples, upon my purchasing of the Seven Seas version, the paperback Chinese version, and the revised uncensored version of TGCF on JJWXC, the author does not own the ways by which I choose to engage with these fictional entities. Once a work is made public, its ontology becomes independent of the author’s intent, and in all its readers’ heads exist distinct versions of the characters, in effect making them belong to all of us.

(There. As a bonus I have also resolved the issue of not being “chinese” enough. Ah, is this a bad place to make a communism joke?)

Addressing the legal side of things

In 2022 I wrote to the legal team at AO3, and here is their response:

Regarding the “moral rights”, that’s actually a thing. Upon receiving lots of spam from 12-yr-old readers that “you are breaking the law”, I did a quick Baidu search (China’s Google) concerning the legality of splitting/reversing ships. Surprisingly, the search results yield “yes, it’s illegal”, and hence the 12-yr-olds' confidence. But that is akin to getting a cancer diagnosis from searching symptoms on Google. So I dug deeper. 

After reading tens of published papers and court cases, here are the key takeaways of what I found:

Given that intellectual property rights are a bit behind in China, they have largely based their laws on US copyright law. As organizations like OTW continue to fight for the rights of transformative works in the US, China probably will just follow suit.

The semantics of “distort, mutilate, or otherwise harm the integrity of their works in a way that harms the author’s reputation” is very vague and debatable. There are at least three ways to interpret it (I think one of the papers I read offered four). The first is that they only have to prove that you distorted the integrity of the work. The second is that you satisfy the condition of harming the author’s reputation. The third is that you satisfy both conditions (integrity of work and author’s reputation). It depends on the court. 

None of the court cases pertained to unserious, just-for-fun fan works. Usually what happens is someone makes a film out canon, for example, and sell it for profit, or someone publishes their own novel which contains characters from another published work. 

And that is for China only^ if you live outside of China, you are under another country's jurisdiction.

-

Closing remarks

I am addressing this issue because it has impacted me and my friends in many ways. "kill yourself if you split/reverse the official ship" is probably the least of our concerns, mainly because it is such a popular phrase that we've become desensitized to it. @/Eleven receives private messages on Lofter on a weekly basis of people wishing her entire family to get murdered. A hualian main friend of mine has been posted to Weibo for following me; and I had to pull a Shi Qingxuan with "hey let's not be friends anymore if being associated with me is gonna get you cancelled".

mxtx has been through a lot and i understand where she's coming from. and maybe, the people who identify as "kill yourself if you split/reverse the official ship" don't truly mean it -- maybe they're just expressing their love for the official ship.

Recently i've been seeing the sentiments I used to only witness in Chinese fandom surface on Twitter and sometimes I worry that western mxtx fandom is going to turn into Chinese mxtx fandom, with the in-group/out-group mentality -- you're either with us or against us. At the end of the day, I do like mxtx, I admire her tenacity and I think she's a brilliant author, I love her works and the characters in them. I simply do not want to be backed into the corner of "anti" due to not following every order she gives.

祝墨香和她的粉丝们平安。

[samwinchesterism]

in re: “cas knows dean better than sam”

“cas sees dean as a whole person and sam just sees dean’s façade as his big brother slash parent” but like how and where. outside of your fanfiction. season and episode. scene and line. if it’s so obvious and apparent you should have at least 3-5 concrete examples right? “sam doesn’t know dean carried him out of the burning house” yeah but did cas? outside of a footnote in the angelic manila folder they gave him between seasons 3 and 4 so he could better manipulate him and sam into doing heaven’s bidding? like if you’re going to say “cas knows dean better than sam” than you need to show how cas succeeds where you perceive sam to be failing at the very least. but even your perceptions of how sam doesn’t measure up are so warped, blinkered, and moronic that it wouldn’t even be worth much if you could provide the textual evidence, but at least you’d have a semblance of a point. like say anything without going “as an eldest daughter…” “well my relationship with my sibling isn’t…” please say anything without fucking projecting your own self-pitying crybaby bullshit onto your little woobie dean and using the actual canon text of the show. I’m literally begging you.

like the thing of it all is and always has been that you’re so hell-bent on twisting the sam and dean relationship to fit into this narrow and almost entirely inaccurate mold which is the basis upon which you build the entire Destiel Mythos that you literally lose all sense of media literacy. you don’t even miss the forest for the trees, you miss the trees for like, the pretend invisible things you’re seeing in between the trees, the forest is a whole long way away from your current level of perception. because the Destiel Mythos is based entirely on the fact that dean is Not Seen and Not Appreciated and Not Loved and Cannot Be Himself until cas comes along, and that Family (read: sam) Is Only A Burden on Him That He Must Be Freed From In Order to Flourish, so you keep trying to warp the sam relationship into something that is only one dimension of it – and keep ignoring the ways in which dean is seen, loved and understood within it, because you need to keep lying to yourselves that there is a narrative need to emancipate dean from something that he has never wanted emancipation from because it is ultimately a net good for dean in the particular circumstances of their lives. it’s also profoundly unhealthy, codependent, evil and toxic etc. (a lot more dean’s fault than sam’s but I will nawt be getting into all that right now) but that doesn’t change the fact that sam and dean both know and understand and feel deeply that they are each other’s person – that they know the best and love the most in the world. but that – which IS true canon fact – is incompatible with the Destiel Mythos so it must be ignored and all good sense must be thrown out the window in order to do it.

anyway i digress there are two main categories of Bad Thinking that i will be addressing below

childhood/ “parent/child” / blah blah blah

every single thing people are saying in favour of the deeply stupid thesis in the title of this post is proof positive of the very silly form of ‘analysis’ I just described. a few things:

“wah sam didn’t know that dean carried him out of the burning house :( this means that dean withholds things from sam to protect him because he is a PARENT and sam can only know things about him in the context of him being a PARENT to him” – what the fuck are you on about genuinely. first of all reducing the sam/dean relationship exclusively to parent/child is in itself foolishness for so many reasons that I don’t have time for right now. but also, it’s clear that this is just something that happened when sam was a baby that just never came up. in the scene (1.09) where this is brought up, dean is mildly surprised that he or john never mentioned that detail and then states that sam knows the rest of the story (i.e. the actual traumatic stuff) just as well as dean does – which is true, demonstrably whenever they talk about it.

obviously there are some things that happened to dean in their childhood that sam doesn’t know about (or didn’t know about, until told in whatever episode they come up in). equally, there are things dean doesn’t know about sam’s childhood, e.g. the fact that he was so lonely he needed a zanna (11.08). or how dean didn’t remember that sam was friends with barry cook until he mentions it when they go back to their old school (4.13). or about the nature of sam’s relationship with amy pond (7.03). these don’t mean that ‘sam withheld these things to protect dean out of parental love’ lol, it’s just that there are details and events in each of their lives that the other happens to not have been told about.

similarly “sam didn’t even know dean wanted to be a firefighter L” girl did dean know sam wanted to be a lawyer? in 1.01 he’s pretty surprised that sam has a law school interview. the point here isn’t “neither sam nor dean know each other well,” these are minutiae that aren’t relevant to how well you know someone as a whole, and very poorly demonstrate the bad and inaccurate point that dean withholds things from sam the way a parent does a child (on a constant or regular basis). obviously the way they were raised, sam was deemed too young to know about certain things until he got older and dean had to keep that secret, but as shown in 3.08 flashbacks, most if not all of this is eventually revealed throughout their childhood when sam is still fairly young.

or possibly the dumbest one is that “wah sam doesn’t even know that dean reads books L” whenever that was he was also obviously joking because in more serious moments (e.g. 8.14) he admits that dean is smart/a better researcher than he is, literally remembers dean reading to him as a kid (8.21) so like. clam down  

one of the extra annoying variants of this type of ‘proof’ covers things that are very clearly novel pieces of information about dean that dean, sam, and the audience are learning about dean in real time. like if you’re actually watching the show to comprehend it as it was intended to be comprehended, instead of funnelling everything through the Destiel Machine until it’s unrecognizable slop that fits neatly into your pre-ordained molds that Make Destiel Necessary In the Narrative (when it actually isn’t, at all) it’s abundantly clear. the top two worst offenders:

“sam didn’t even know that dean is good with kids :( he doesn’t even realize that dean raised him :(” first of all you people need to understand that parentification does not literally create a parent-child dynamic between siblings but I digress – this doesn’t make any sense bro. in 1.03 dean admits he doesn’t know any kids as an adult. dean being good with his own kid brother when they were both kids is to any reasonable person not necessarily linked with him being good with other random kids when he’s an adult. in 1.03 it’s clear that dean himself is a bit surprised that he’s able to connect w/ lucas so well because he’s clearly not dealt with a lot of kids since sam grew up. the whole point of this is that dean, sam, and the audience are all sort of seeing a new side of dean. who again is just 26. after this very early episode, there’s no question from sam that dean is able to connect w kids. sam being a bit surprised by this also has absolutely zero connection with him not understanding or realizing that dean looked out for him when they were both kids – sam is standing there at 22 years of age talking about adult dean and children – of fucking course he doesn’t mean himself are you stupid.

from the very first season, sam is very clearly aware of everything dean ~did for him~ when they were kids, see e.g. 1.21: “Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. […] For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And I don't know, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.”

and 1.06: DEAN: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. (SAM laughs.) SAM: Yeah, I know you are.

and then possibly even more stupidly, the one where it’s like “wah sam doesn’t even know dean can cook :( he doesn’t even know that DEAN was the one making him food as a babe in arms :(” – when sam is surprised that dean made something fairly gourmet and from scratch literally the first time they have ever had a permanent living space with a functional kitchen. in this VERY scene (8.14), dean himself points out that they haven’t had a kitchen before and when sam remarks on the irregularity of him doing serious cooking, he says “I’m nesting”, clearly showing that this is a novel development because they now have a kitchen, and that it’s irregular relative to past behaviour – both of them acknowledge this. because real proper in-depth cooking and making box mac and cheese for sam until he was like 11 and old enough to be left alone are two different things, which sam understands because he’s smart, unlike whoever chooses to make this point. dean never showed significant signs of liking to cook before this, which is what the exchange is about, but he did have to prepare food for them both when sam was too young – of course sam knows he had to, there are childhood memories referred to (e.g. 14.11) where sam is mentioned to literally help dean do the cooking as kids lol (and yes, genius, sam says ‘I didn’t know you knew what a kitchen was’ or something to that effect, but if you think he’s being 100% literal there I have an oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you)

again, obviously there are pieces that sam doesn’t know about dean, e.g. when he’s talking about his response to mary dying in 1.03. but again, Sam is 22, dean is 26, the last time they were in regular contact was when sam was 18-20, these are things that happen when people grow up, they’re able to reflect and share on childhood experiences if they’re close with their siblings as adults. it’s clearly not something that 26 y/o dean wanted to hide from 22 y/o sam. yes sam didn’t know everything about how dean felt when they were young, but that’s equally true in the other direction, and it’s such an irrelevant point in this discussion when, crucially, sam does learn these things about dean mostly fairly early on in the series (i.e. when they’re really not that deep into adulthood yet). cas was also not magically blessed w/ knowledge about dean, he also had to learn whatever it is that he knows, but somehow sam has to know everything about dean from age 7 or it doesn’t count when it’s sam lol.

“sam doesn’t know the One True Dean / doesn’t see through his facades”

the next branch of defending this flawed thesis is invariably that sam has little idea of the fronts and facades that dean puts up and is content to just believe them, whereas cas digs deep and sees the One True Dean that stupid sam always misses. there is nothing in the text that demonstrates this is true. multiple times, we see sam being very knowing of the fact that dean puts up fronts and facades. sam is also knowledgeable of the way dean perceives himself, and – demonstrated in multiple episodes before such sam lines were very poorly recycled and regurgitated into cas’s dialogue in 15.18, but keep acting like that was the first time anyone ever showed that they knew the One True Dean.

Obviously there are times where sam teases dean when he’s being more touchy-feely than usual, but 9.99 times out of 10 (as a conservative estimate in case there's something i'm forgetting otherwise i would say every time) that’s very clearly coming from a place of knowing the real dean vs. the façade he puts up because that’s the whole joke. and it’s allowed to be a joke because they’re siblings and that’s what siblings do lol. esp since sam and dean have touchy feely moments at the end of like every episode.

examples of all of the above off the top of my head (there are more than these, but these are the ones I can think of):

2.02 (about John’s death)

Sam: “I mean this ‘strong silent’ thing of yours, it's crap. […] I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about, this is Dad. I know how you felt about the man.”

Dean: “You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to.”

Sam: “No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this. But you have to deal with it, man. Listen, I'm your brother, all right? I just want to make sure you're okay.”

2.03 (Sam to Dean, also about John’s death): “You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.”

Note that Dean essentially admits that Sam is right in these two instances in 2.04 bc I know yall have stupid shit to say about john too that has nothing to do with how anyone actually felt about him in canon

3.07 (about Dean’s demon deal – also proven true in later episodes)

SAM: Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.

DEAN: I'm not!

SAM: You're lying. And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you.

DEAN: You got no idea what you're talking about.

SAM: Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked.

DEAN: And how do you know that?

SAM: Because I know you! […] Yeah, I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just […] I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... (can't find words; tears in his eyes) just 'cause.

5.18 [Sam figures out what Dean is doing re: his plan to let Michael possess him, tracks him down, and eventually is the catalyst for Dean ‘making the right call’, which he predicts] – e.g.:

SAM: No, you won’t. When push shoves, you’ll make the right call

DEAN: You know, if tables were turned…I’d let you rot in here. Hell, I have let you rot in here.

SAM: Yeah, well…I guess I’m not that smart.

DEAN: I—I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?

SAM: Because… you’re still my big brother.

8.14 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18 + sam intrinsically understanding the trials are a death wish for dean): “I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. […] I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.”

10.22 (understanding how much dean has ~done for him~)

SAM: I'm saving my brother.

CASTIEL: You told Dean—

SAM: —I know what I told Dean. Cas, look. I've been the one out there, messed up and scared. And alone. And Dean—

CASTIEL: He did whatever he could to save you.

SAM: Yes. I mean, it's become his thing. I owe him this. I owe him everything.

10.23 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18, x2 – from Sam to Dean): “You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way. […] You will never, ever hear me say that you -- the real you -- is anything but good.”

11.13 (Sam understanding exactly how Dean feels about Amara being his ‘deepest desire’, and confirming that it doesn’t make him a bad person)

Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…

Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?

Dean: For starters, yeah.

Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not.

Dean: You know that I want her ass dead.

Sam: Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? (Long silence) Just how bad is it?

13.02 (Sam perfectly explaining Dean’s psyche to Jack)

JACK: Is that why Dean hates me?

SAM: Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear.

JACK: Why would he be afraid?

SAM: Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you.

14.03 [Sam assesses Dean’s psychological/emotional response to the Michael possession; end of episode, Dean confirms that Sam’s assessment was fully accurate]

14.10 [Sam is the only one able to snap Dean out of his weird Michael mind loop by using their code word]

14.11 [Sam figuring out that something is troubling Dean just based on the fact that Dean hugs him]

15.17 (self explanatory at this point)

DEAN: Chuck has to die. He has to! Otherwise he'll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can't live like that, man! I can't live like that! I won't!

SAM: I know you feel like that right now, okay. I know you do. But you gotta trust me. My entire life, you've protected me— from Dad, from Lucifer, from everything. I didn't always like it, you know, but... it's the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on. It's the only thing I've ever known that was true. So please... put the gun away. Just put it away, and we'll figure it out, Dean, we'll find another way, you and me. We always do.

like maybe there are some cas moments w dean along these lines too. i don't know, i don't remember what the guy says or does anymore it's been too many years and he is not memorable. but the point is where and in what capacity and based on what metric other than the amount of bad fanfic you've read does cas exceed sam in these respects.

so basically just. genuinely, what are you people literally ever talking about. go watch the show instead of saying stupid wrong stuff about sam on the hellsites all day. or watch another show (please for the love of god watch any other show this one is absolutely lost on you and it’s such a stupid one too i'm embarrassed for you)

[jeonstellate]

forever by my side

mingyu still honors the love signified by his ring, even after all this time.

๑彡 kim mingyu x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 divorced!au/ex-husband!au, post-break up!au — fluff(?), angst(?)

๑彡 paragraph format — 0.8K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑彡 title is taken from zack tabudlo’s by my side (ft. tiara andini).

๑彡 thank you sm for the overwhelming love for my future in your eyes! please accept this as a thank you gift :]

๑彡 this is connected to that fic, a prequel of sorts, but can also be read as a standalone. (i highly recommend reading that, too, though.)

Kim Mingyu is a man of confidence.

He exudes confidence, regardless of what he does. It’s a natural part of his aura — something that he can never control at will.

It comes in handy for his line of work, which often requires him to socialize and impress others. Occasionally, though, it also needs him to give presentations in front of large crowds.

As his audience continues to stare at him, with a mix of glossed eyes and awestruck expressions, Mingyu begins to appreciate his inborn confidence a little bit more.

He’s an extrovert. He does well with crowds. He’s comfortable striking up conversations with complete strangers. He’s talkative and spontaneous and outgoing, amongst other things.

And with his confidence, Mingyu can command a room with ease.

Yet, still, it doesn’t necessarily mean he enjoys public speaking — especially if the crowd he’s addressing is full of college students who are currently everywhere, just not in the classroom.

He can hardly blame them. He has been in their shoes before. He knows what it feels like to listen to professors and guest lecturers drag on when he rather spend his time elsewhere.

"Well then, if you guys thought of more questions later," he began his wrap-up speech, "feel free to email me. Thank you—"

A flurry of moment on his right caught his attention, effectively halting his speech. However, the cause of it is gone by the second he turns.

The only evidence he has that he didn’t hallucinate the entire thing is the murmuring that suddenly engulfs the room. And the small folded piece of paper on his right that seems to appear out of the blue.

Mingyu reaches for the paper and looks around the room. He immediately notices the students’ renewed interest in him. Or perhaps — most likely — they are just interested in how he responses to the note.

He looks down as he opens the paper.

Mister, do you have a significant other?

He chuckles soundlessly. Not because of how off-topic it is from the presentation he just gave, but because it is apparently enough to bring you forth in his mind.

After all, you are his other half. Someone he met and fell in love with within the walls of your college campus. Someone he put great effort to deserve the heart of.

The only one he could see sharing a future with. The only one he went down on one knee for and waited for at the end of the aisle.

The only one he loves with his soul. The only one he respects and cherishes to an unfathomable extent.

Mingyu gives a shy smile to the sea of students before raising his hand, palm facing inward. He lets the gold band around his ring finger shine under the spotlights aimed at him.

Their collective disappointment is loud.

Mingyu finds their reaction amusing. He has watched countless people react to his marital status over the years. Those who appear dismayed, he notes, often try their best to hide it, albeit unsuccessfully. As a matter of fact, this is the first time anyone has ever showed disdain so openly — a whole group, too, no less.

He can’t stop the soundless chuckle that escaped. He has always been proud of his marriage. He boasts about it — and you — every chance that he gets. It’s something that always brings a smile to his face. Something that he never gets tired of.

Even after the divorce.

The end of your marriage had been a mutual decision. You both agreed that it was the best action to take, before anything escalated to something unbecoming. And, at the time, it was the best decision to take.

The end of your marriage didn’t signify the end of his love for you, though. That’s why, even years after the court made your divorce official, his wedding ring stayed on his finger.

Mingyu may have failed to keep you by his side, but he absolutely has no plans to rid himself of the only physical reminder of your marriage.

Mingyu may have lost his rights to claim you as his spouse; but at least in front of strangers, he can still pretend that the gold around his finger is more than a remembrance.

"How are you going to find a replacement for your wedding ring if you keep letting people think you’re still married?" Minghao wonders when he meets up with him after his presentation.

Ironically enough, his longtime friend personifies the reality that his façade only works with strangers. Those who don’t know what happened. Nor can read him like an open book. Nor notice the hint of sadness in his eyes.

Mingyu simply shrugs at that, "Bold of you to assume I want a replacement in the first place."

(After all, his wedding ring isn’t just a conversational piece. It’s also his lifeline . . . something he can’t bear to lose, especially when he already lost you.)

[vasito-de-leche]

I love how you write, your interpretations of characters are my favorite. If you're okay with it, may I ask for romantic headcanons of Horropedia (Reverse 1999) x Reader? I would love to know what he is like when he's developing a crush, how he confronts his feelings when he realized them, what he's like when in a romantic relationship, etc. Thank you very much!

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Horropedia in a romantic relationship.

awe! i'm glad you like my stuff! and thank you for the lovely words and request, cause i've been itching to write for horropedia <3

i got a liiiiittle carried away with this one, hope that's alright!

Horropedia as a character is fascinating because at a surface level he's a mess and a walking stereotype - a "nerdy nerd" with a very specific hyperfixation on the horror genre, the tall guy with glasses who explains the plot and does his own thing regardless of how others view him, the first one to die in a movie solely because he's perceived as cringe etc, etc.

And yet, his medium is "logic" - he, better than anyone, understands the nonsensical laws that make up the concept of horror, he sees the patterns and the reason why some things are done this way instead of that way. Through logic, pattern recognition and analysis, Horropedia can pretty much understand anything and work his way around any problem, no matter how unorthodox his solutions may be.

In a sense, I'd compare Horropedia to Pavia. Both are characters who are subject to the stereotypes and images others assign to them - but whereas Pavia both fights and plays into all of these roles, Horropedia just brushes it off and continues doing his own thing, being genuine and unapologetically himself.

When it comes to romance, it's easy to assume Horropedia has no interest in it - they're two different genres that don't go together most of the time. It's also easy to assume that he would be a troublesome partner, due to the laser focus attention he gives to his interests. And the latter is partially true: his lackluster love life is entirely because romance hasn't entered his radar, at least not enough to pull his attention away from his one true love.

But I think this is where the aspect of "logic" comes into play. All Horropedia needs is that spark, to find something to truly become invested in when it comes to romance - once he finds it, he'll dedicate the same amount of attention to detail and care as the horror movies he loves so much.

On the subject of Horropedia developing a crush.

Similar to Click, Horropedia would need some time to start noticing the signs of a crush - the difference is that Horropedia is a little quicker when it comes to realizing he's fallen for someone. His forte is horror movies, but he still knows a thing or two when it comes to other genres.

When he cannot rationalize his behaviour around you in a way that makes sense to his current fixation or situation, that's when he knows. And given how straightforward (to the point of bordering on obliviously rude) Horropedia can be, I'd say he'd also be the type to address this crush right away. Now that there's this brand new thing in his life, he'd like to understand it better - to dissect and study the way romance is potrayed, explore how it feels and just analyze it to hell and back. Basically, he wants to know the rules, to figure out how to best proceed.

Of course, he wouldn't dream of confronting you directly, only an amateur would do such a thing. Instead, he asks his friends and pretty much anyone within his general vicinity. He wants to understand romance from every angle, to hear about it from all sorts of people until he feels like he knows enough to start forming his own opinions.

His questions are all theoretical situations that begin rather innocent, innocuous. What does the hero of a romcom do to get the romantic interest? Does it follow a three act structure? And should the third act climax start with a confession or the breakup?

Overtime, they become a little more specific. To the point where his closest friends might suspect something is up, until Horropedia finds himself asking about your interests so that he can figure out the perfect gift for you. Just in case. He finds himself watching romcoms and making extensive research and charts and essays into the genres.

The funniest thing to me is that Horropedia would be extremely casual about this whole ordeal, this crush makes him extremely intrigued in the concept of romance (an oddity for someone so themed around horror), he finds himself staring at you from across the room (this is the third time he's walked into a door because of it) and so on and so forth. But he's so chill about it.

When confronted about his crush - should Blonney or anyone else decide to tease him a little by prodding - Horropedia has no problem blurting out that he has, indeed, fallen for someone. But he'll take your name to the grave, not out of shame or embarrassment but because "he doesn't want to spoil the plot, as obvious as it might be".

On the subject of Horropedia confronting his feelings and some more insight into his mentality.

I'd say there is this small possibility of Horropedia feeling disheartened if he begins to neglect his real passion for the sake of his feelings - it's that sort of guilt and shock one gets when they realize they've forgotten their wallet the moment they're meant to pay for dinner, or when they realize they've forgotten to turn off the oven.

Horror is a huge part of his life and who he is as a person - literally look at the name he's chosen for himself - and given how heavily coded he is to be neurodivergent, I can understand this aspect of him. The feeling like one must choose between two things they enjoy, and all the other things that might come with hyperfixation, both positive and negative.

This is the biggest obstacle for Horropedia when it comes to finally taking the first steps into forming a relationship with you or confessing - the irrational thought that by doing so, he's prioritizing you and romance over horror, something that he holds very dear. One of his stories gives some insight about Horropedia's relationship with horror and how it's something he shared with (and possibly was started by) his grandfather.

I feel like he'll grow a little distant, as a way to set some boundaries for himself or draw a line between his identity and his feelings for you, separate the two so that he doesn't have to feel guilty for giving one more attention than the other. Maybe he simply stops bringing up films around you, because "you're probably not that interested anyway". Masking, he's masking.

But overall, I can see Horropedia being capable enough to get out of this mindset by himself - or with a little help from someone else. Either way, he simply loops back to realizing the obvious: you two were friends, before he realized his feelings for you. You were fine with the whole Horropedia Experience. You liked him for who he was. And he liked you just as you were.

Horropedia is the one who confesses first, the one who asks you out. 100%. And it's so unnecessarily dramatic.

I DO think that Horropedia would make sure to be the one who confesses, just so he can put everything that he's learned about romance into play. And he delivers the most award worthy performance. It would be all about redirection, an unexpected reveal - his skills and animations are also all about fake outs and misleading the audience, after all.

In my head, there's this whole scene about Horropedia asking everyone to help him out confess to you, and everyone is so excited for it - but then he just asks them to fuel this slow rift that formed between you and him, to act vague, distant and mysterious should you ask Blonney or Tooth Fairy about him. Again, unorthodox and weird, but he's cooking. This is all done with the intention of forcing a confrontation between the two of you, just so he can pour his heart out right there - it's all or nothing.

Again, I want to insist that Horropedia, despite being a logical man, still makes as many aspects of his life revolve around the things that he loves and is interested in - he likes films, he likes you. And while romance is not his preferred genre, he still wants to explore all there is about it all thanks to you.

That alone should tell you how much you mean to him. Even if his methods aren't the "proper" way, you know he's putting his whole heart into this. It's all over the top, there's fake rain, etc etc. Of course, your reaction to this is up to you!

If you're mad at him for such convoluted plan, he'll sit there and allow you to scold him to your heart's content - he's used to it as one of the many troublemakers that the Foundation failed to raise as model students. If you laugh at him because of how ridiculous this guy can be sometimes, he'll laugh along, trying to get you to tell him what he could've been done better to get a third act reconciliation. And if you start crying, jump into his arms and play along then he'll be over the moon, trying every single impactful one-liner from every romcom he's watched in the past few weeks.

On the subject of Horropedia and how he acts when he's in a relationship.

Dating Horropedia is pretty easy, because you're dating your best friend. However, it is very easy to misunderstand Horropedia's way of showing affection - those who are more on the insecure side or less receptive to his subtleties may feel like there's been absolutely no shift in the dynamic, that he's treating you the same way he'd treat Tooth Fairy or Vertin.

This is far from the truth! Once Horropedia finally settles into the relationship, he grows very comfortable and allows himself to just exist around you - which isn't saying much since he doesn't mask as much around friends, but it's all about the subtle things!

I like to think Horropedia is very particular about space, as in he makes a point not to invade people's spaces if possible and he'd rather remain in his little bubble. But when it comes to you, he's very casual with physical touch. He's not as cuddly and touchy as characters like, let's say, Matilda, Jessica or Pavia, but being able to rest his head on your shoulder means a lot to him, or just have you lean on him when sitting together. This is pushed to the limit when you two pull all-nighters, binging all of your favorite movies.

He's on cloud nine when you pay attention to his ramblings and makes sure to listen when you ramble to him as well. More than often, he'll do his own little research into the topics you like, just so you have someone to properly discuss things with! Horropedia more than anyone knows what it's like to be brushed aside for being too much or too weird, to have no one listen. Despite his confidence, he has had days of feeling like he keeps on talking to a wall, so he doesn't want you to ever feel like that.

It's all about sharing interests and recommending things that you may like, keeping up with the latest events and so on and so forth, having looong discussions at night about whatever topic you two are extremely invested in.

If these discussions get a little heated and end up as arguments, expect Horropedia to insist on arguing because he's just stubborn like that - it'll take him time to realize that he might've hurt your feelings, or that he might've be hurting too, but he'll come around eventually to talk it out.

Overall, dating Horropedia would be fun because he's full of surprises and excitement, but he's also considerate in his own way.

[sweetvoidstuff]

Beyond your soul I see IICha Hyun Su x Reader

Cha Hyun Su x Reader

Summary: In the quarantine room, Hyun Su questions your choice to stay, but your disarmingly honest response about fearing monsters and his potential danger leaves him shocked. As you break the silence by extending a comforting hand, you assure him of the goodness you see in him beyond his troubled past.

the first part, kinda ~~~~~ the next part, kinda

Masterlist

~~~~~

Hyun Su gazed at you, his curiosity evident in the furrow of his brow. "Why do you do this?"

Engrossed in your book within the quarantine room, you looked up, your eyes meeting his. "Do what?" you inquired, your voice laced with curiosity.

"Coming here, staying in the quarantine room? You don't have to," Hyun Su mused, his gaze filled with genuine interest. There was a subtle something in his expression that caught your attention. Placing your book down, you met his gaze and asked, "Am I bothering you here?"

His reply came with a slight hesitation, "No, I... I just think there need to be nicer places to spend the time. You dont need to be here." Hyun Su's attempt to avoid your gaze didn't go unnoticed.

With a touch of sarcasm, you quipped, "Sure, getting wrapped up in doing stupid stuff for Eun Hyeok is my favorite thing to do." Holding your book up, you added, "No, honestly, I just like reading in peace."

Before adding the avoidance of this place by the other tenants or that you simply liked Hyun Su's company, Mr. Kim seized the opportunity to express his annoyance. "Will you two just shut up!" he exclaimed, retreating to a secluded part of the room to lay down. You and Hyun Su exchanged a glance, a smile playing on your lips. However, Hyun Su remained unconvinced.

In a hushed tone, Hyun Su questioned, "Aren't you afraid we could turn and hurt you?" The weight of his words hung in the air, and whether it was a response to Mr. Kim's demand or a genuine inquiry, you couldn't discern. Taking a deep breath, you decided to answer truthfully.

"Am I afraid a monster could kill me? Yes, yes I am. Do I think you would? Well, I don't really know. But I want to believe you wouldn't." Closing your eyes briefly, you shook your head. "You wouldn't." The disarmingly honest statement left Hyun Su visibly shocked, a plea for understanding escaping him. Never had anyone told him that if he were to turn into a monster, he could still be good. Inside his head, he heard laughter. He, his monster apparently highly amused by your statement. It only made Hyun Su more aware of the danger he could be, to you, as he tuned his monster out.

Before he could articulate his thoughts or distance himself, you set your book aside and approached him. Crouching down, you extended your right hand, hoping he would lay his hand in yours. After a moment of silence, he did. Examining his hand and taking your time you spoke, "You have honest hands and kind eyes. Whatever happened there," pointing to his scar, "shows me you'd rather hurt yourself than someone else." Gently rubbing your thumb over his hand, you sensed a shiver running down his back.“If this a good quirk of yours.“ you shrugged, not finishing your thought.

Your words seemed to expose him, as if you could see the core of his being. The intensity of your eyes and the gentle touch left him feeling vulnerable. Though he wanted to pull away, you broke the stare, looking down at his hand and eventually holding it in both of yours.

"Our past doesn't define us. Our actions do. And you, Hyun Su, have done nothing short of helping and protecting others since I met you. I don't fear you. I don't fear him." Looking back up at Hyun Su, you seemed to address someone entirely different. "But if I make you uncomfortable, I will keep my distance." Slowly letting go of his hand, a small blush appearing on your face, you feared you might have overstepped. However, Hyun Su blurted out, "No! No... you don't," giving your hand a short squeeze. The blush now adorned both your faces as you nodded, getting back up. Hyun Su watched you walk back to your book, the brief moment of trust and intimacy broken. His mind was racing, still rethinking your words, trying to make sense of his monster's reaction to your words when he noticed you. As you continued reading, you sat much closer to him than before, and a genuine smile graced his lips, finding solace in your proximity.

[celaenaeiln]

Absolutely agree with your post. My friend once told me something like “it’s interesting to see how there are a lot of narratives within dick grayson’s stories that can be read as metaphors of rejection of someone’s autonomy—which is many times it happens towards/explored in female characters, e.g the robin mantle being ‘ripped away’ from him without his consent, his should have been ‘fate’ as talon, a tool for CoO” and when you add it with his canonical SA and the many times he gets objectified, another thing that media throughout the times write happened to/explored in female characters, it further cements the point of him occupying the (traditional) female character role.

OG post in reference

Thank you!!! Those are all excellent points to bring up!

You guys did a fantastic job of identifying core examples of where Dick is written for the female role. Every time I read him, I'm amazed time and time again how beautifully DC has written him. He's undeniably written as a man but he's unique in the way his characteristics overwhelmingly reflect typical female personality traits and his entire life story is written as if he were a woman. The relationships he has with people, he always subtly ends up in the female role.

Take the scene of him being objectified -

JLA/Titans Issue #3

This is exactly what it's like to be catcalled.

It's humiliating, uncomfortable, and scary. It needs to be addressed.

But here's where I oppose fandom's view on this. Fandom basically blames DC for scenarios like this where Dick is being harassed by other characters for his beauty or suggesting that Dick somehow encourages this behavior, but I think we should restructure our outlook.

Dick being objectified should be considered as one of his trauma's like his SA is. Like the way Jason death affected him, Stephanie's death affected her, or the way Tim's depression did him, Dick's constant sexual objectification should be analyzed as part of canon problem because it's relates to once again to how women feel in these exact situations. Note the way he is uncomfortable - the writers know what they're doing. They know it's wrong and if they're bringing up his reluctance time and time again, then this should be explored not as a fault of DC but as a problem he's forced to face.

DC uses Dick as a soundboard to broadcast the issues women face in a way that wouldn't be as problematic as if they did with other major female characters. Because doing such things to female characters is a little too political for a comic book and a corporate company so they take liberties through Dick instead. Some of the times they've written him seem intentional and other times it seems unintentional, but even with the way the later is written, it's because they're following Dick's standard characterization which was written to be the balance between men and women.

Another major, MAJOR point you bring up is autonomy.

Autonomy is the essence of his character.

Quick definition: autonomy is the right to self-govern. This means you're in control of your own actions, beliefs, and HERE IT IS - Freedom to do what you wish to.

From the moment Dick and Bruce started fighting, the problem with their relationship boiled down to one thing and one thing only. Freedom.

Given my other Bruce and Dick posts, I've mentioned how Bruce felt an increasing need for control over Dick while Dick felt increasingly furious at his freedom being taken away.

Even Azrael when he lost it for a moment. Batman!Dick

Batman (1940) Issue #709

Another point: For Bruce, all his enemies want him to break. They want him to turn evil but for Dick's, his enemies always want to him to follow them.

Yet the fact that Dick faces all this and continually fights this - he's girlbossing so hard.

That's why I like Dick so much. He breaks the gender roles. Because breaking gender roles isn't just painting your nails pink and saying you respect women. No. It means playing the traditional role of men and women both.

A man's typical role is strength, power, and competitiveness.

A woman's typical role is vulnerability, empathy, and intutition.

But Dick? Dick is one of the strongest fighters in all of DC, he's considered the best leader, and he's so brilliant he always wins his fights. But at the same time, he cries when he's heartbroken. He cares for children that aren't his own and citizens he doesn't know. He anticipates the emotions of his family and friends and loves them for who they are.

That's also a core difference between Bruce's treatment of the batfamily vs Dick's. Where Bruce rages at their disobedience and differences, Dick accepts them and encourages them. Another why Bruce is viewed as the father role of the family while Dick is viewed in the mother context. Evidence of this is pretty clear in Red Robin Issues #23 - 26 with the way Dick treats Tim vs the way Bruce treats him.

DC made Dick pretty on purpose and they wrote him like a woman on purpose while building him up as a man.

I'll iterate agin, he was built to fight male toxic masculinity and we should be looking at him through those lens. He's a complex, deep character that was meant to break gender roles by embodying both male and female characteristics and that's beauty of him.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)

If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.

Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...

Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,

but,

IT'S JUST A SHIP.

In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*

Full fucking stop.

Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.

If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.

Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.

Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.

Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)

But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.

So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.

As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:

That incest can lead to inbreeding.

That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.

Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?

The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.

We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.

The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.

So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.

Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.

Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.

Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...

At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.

I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.

And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.

*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.

[lelengerine]

I'm down bad for mark+ celebrities au 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

thinking 'bout you

pairing | idol!mark x idol!reader

genre | celebrity co-hosts au (if that’s a thing), a lot of fluff and comforting, mark addressed reader as dude once

wc | 0.6k

notes | thank u sm for requesting on my drabble event hehe <33 i hope you enjoy reading this and hopefully its along the lines of what you wanted !! likes, rbs, and feedback are highly appreciated :D

this is part of my drabble req event here!

m.list

as one of the hosts for the year-end awards event, you are currently residing backstage in a location grander than any you have ever seen. and though the outfit assigned to you looks absolutely pristine, it does little in actually giving you comfort to last the entire night. 

in your hands are cue cards you’ve been practicing nonstop for the past few days, now feeling anxious as the time ticks closer to the actual event. this was a ceremony broadcasted nation-wide and you didn’t wish to be deadweight your co-host needed to pick up.

“y/n, you ready?” a voice abruptly brings you out of your thoughts, turning towards its direction to find mark calmly approaching you. he was your chosen co-host for the event with a few years more experience than you. this gave you all the more reason to hate the idea of messing up and becoming a fool in front of someone like him. “hey… are you good?”

“hm? yeah, i’m fine. just a little nervous, but i won’t let you down!” your determination is oddly enough endearing to him, a lopsided smile now grazing his lips. 

“i know you wont, y/n.” he answers back with a soft chuckle, the sound of it easing the tensions within you. “come on now, you were chosen as a host for a reason.” he adds, nudging your shoulder lightly.

“thank you for the flattery, but if i may ask, how do you look so relaxed all the time? i wish i were like you.” you admit with a sheepish expression, and he looks at you a little dumbfounded. 

“me?” he points at himself almost animatedly, eyes widening. “oh dude, if you knew what’s going on inside my head right now- i think you’d say otherwise.”

he puts it lightheartedly, but deep down, you understand he’s rather in the same predicament as you, trying to find a form of relief from the panic before the event actually began. and for some reason, that revelation calmed you down more than anything has — you weren’t alone in this. he’s your co-host after all.

“then that makes both of us.” you state with the hopes of providing him that same comfort, and he seems to acknowledge the meaning behind your words. “it does.”

“you know,” he starts, “i’ve heard that thinking about someone you like really helps the stage fright. i used to only think of my parents before going up on stage, but maybe i’ll change it up today and think of someone else.” 

you feel a prickle of heat up your cheeks, thoughts in your head running the idea that he could be talking about you, but your logical self told you that could only be utter nonsense. 

“you’ll change it up today…?” you repeat slowly, wanting clarification on his words. “does that mindset really work?”

“it does if you believe in it enough? does that sound silly?” he cranes his head a little to the side, shyly rubbing his nape.

you immediately shut down his worries, shaking your head. “not at all! i’ll try it if you say it works. i just don’t know if i have anyone in mind yet.” with that answer, he beams again, opening his mouth to reply but one of the staff members manages to speak before he gets to utter a single word.

“y/n, mark, it’s time to head up. please make sure you bring your cue cards.” they instruct, now waiting on you both to lead you up the stage.

“oh- well then, shall we?” he politely offers his arm out for you to hold, one you take graciously.

“we shall.” you answer with a grin, knowing you’d take mark’s advice to think of a person you like as a way to calm your nerves, and that person might just be him.

[itsgxsly]

HEAVEN SENT

Summary: You were a piece of heaven sent to Carlos, so when you are there the day he becomes world champion, he has to ask you to be his forever.

Pairing: carlos sainz x reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 829

It was his moment.

Carlos was euphoric, almost out of breath as he got out of the car now parked next to the sign that indicated that he had won the last race of the year, and that he was now the Formula 1 world champion. He climbed into the front of the car raising hands in the air, listening to the cheers of the fans seated in the Abu Dhabi stands. He jumped down and once on the ground he was greeted by Charles's arms. His partner and one of his best friends. The Monegasque had been champion the previous year, and this year he had returned all the favors to Carlos. When they separated, Carlos ran towards the fences where the entire Ferrari team was waiting for him. Perhaps they had had their ups and downs and difficulties, but thanks to them he was now at the top, all the effort had been worth it. The next thing he noticed were the arms of his entire family surrounding him, the words of pride from his father, the tears of happiness from his mother and the screams of his sisters. He celebrated, cried and yelled along with all of them, but even with all the moment happening, Carlos missed one person among all that crowd that surrounded him. He broke away from the embrace of his family and began to turn his head, his eyes searching for you among so many. Her sister Ana, who already knew what Carlos was looking for, tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to an area a little further away from all the noise. Carlos saw you in an instant. Everything around him disappeared in a matter of seconds when his eyes locked on yours. The rest of the people seemed to have noticed where Carlos was looking, so they gave you some space so you could get closer to him. When you were within reach of him, Carlos wrapped his arms around you tightly, and you did the same, both of you entangled wanting to be so close to each other almost inhumanly. You moved a little away from his body despite his protest to being able to talk to him.

"You've made it, mi amor" your voice sounded slightly hoarse. Now that he had you so close, Carlos could see the traces of tears on your cheeks, so he supposed it was from crying.

"I still don't believe it" Carlos would have needed a pinch at that moment, because it had not yet entered his head that he was the world champion.

"Well, believe it, Carlitos, because it's real. Is very real"

Carlos believed in your words, but he simply needed something to bring him back to earth at that moment, something to confirm that everything that was happening was true, so he held your face firmly in his hands and kissed you. Your kiss felt like a heaven sent wonder. You were that for Carlos. A piece of heaven. He could taste the traces of salty tears on your soft lips and he heard the whistles and applause from the people around. You only separated when you noticed the lack of air, and Carlos forced himself to open his eyes to look at you. You looked at him too, and Carlos saw reflected in your eyes the same look of love and tenderness with which he looked at you. He didn't know if it was that look in your eyes, your smile, your touch or the whole situation that caused him to fall to the ground on one knee. You gasped taking your free hand to your mouth, since your other hand was grabbed by Carlos's. Your eyes filled with happy tears again.

"Mi amor" Carlos began with the nickname with which he always addressed you. “You are my whole life, my world, I don't know what I would do if I had to spend a single second of my life without you in it. You are my greatest support and I want to be with you forever. I want to spend my whole life with you. So, please, will you marry me?" it had been sudden, but Carlos knew it was the right time. "I don't have a ring right now, but if you say yes, I promise to get you the biggest one I can find" everyone laughed when they heard the phrase, but they all waited expectantly for your answer.

You dropped to your knees at Carlos's height and kissed him passionately, his smile and yours colliding in the kiss. Even though the answer seemed clear, you wanted to say it out loud.

“Of course I do, Carlos. Of course I want to marry you” and with that you threw yourself into his arms again, a chorus of cheers and screams playing in the background as you both lost yourself in each other's touch, with the only thought on your mind of spending a lifetime together.

REQUEST: @maximeverstappen

[smytherines]

I often wonder if I would feel differently about The Staircase Scene if I had seen SAF when it first came out in 2016. The first time I saw it was probably around October or November of 2023, and like... the context is different now.

Whatever we want to say about the personal story arcs of these characters (and I know I'm in a tiny minority because, for me, killing Owen does not constitute a satisfying close to Curt's arc, that's totally fine), there is the very real issue of the sociopolitical context that this scene takes place within- both in their time (1961) and in ours.

One very cool thing about SAF is that, in order to understand these characters better, a lot of younger queer folks end up learning about the Lavender Scare, about Executive Order 10450- which officially prohibited gay people from working for the US government- for the first time. That's an incredible, precious thing to me. Yay queer history! It's important!

The show itself never addresses the fact that both the US and UK governments had very public, very brutal campaigns equating homosexuality with communism with being a traitor to your country. But if you want to understand these characters, and especially write fanfiction, you're really incentivized to teach yourself some fundamentally important aspects of queer history.

In the 54 Below concert, before singing Not So Bad, Brian Rosenthal talks about how when they were developing the show they thought N@zis were more or less a thing of the past, that they're fully aware of how differently that song might be taken now after an escalation into a more open embrace of fascism in the US. And they're absolutely right about that.

But I think that's also perhaps an issue with the staircase scene, or at least it is for me. Obviously homophobia and transphobia were not "fixed" in 2016, they were still massive problems resulting in violence and discrimination and brutality. But institutionally, at least, you could look at the situation and point to some things that were gradually getting better.

In 2016 trans youth in my state were legally allowed to receive gender affirming care. In 2024, they are not. It's not that homophobia and transphobia went away and then came back, but there was a very real resurgence of the use of the media and of governmental power to inflict pain on queer & trans people and chase them out of public life- bathroom bans, gender affirming care bans, Don't Say Gay laws, trying to make drag illegal, equating queer and trans people with pedophilia. There has been a big cultural shift back towards the same kind of violent governmental moral panic that our beloved Curt & Owen would have lived under.

Whatever we want to say about these characters and this story (and there's tons of fascinating debate there), there is still the base of a gay man killing his ex-lover ostensibly to protect US foreign policy objectives. Killing the man he loves- or loved, at least- to protect the secret that he is gay. And that hits different for me now.

I watch that scene and it is heartbreaking on a personal level, but its also heartbreaking as a queer person who just wants to scream "your government will destroy you for being gay, you don't owe them shit!"

Owen tries to explain that the surveillance network is happening, that the future won't wait for Curt to catch up. Barb has been saying she's working on the same thing for the US government the entire show, but Curt just kept ignoring her. And I just want to say "Curt, honey, what do you think your government is going to do to you with that surveillance system? Do you think you're useful enough to keep around even though you have sex with men? Because I promise you they will not care."

It feels tragic to me because on some level it seems like Curt would actually be safer with another gay man having control of all the world's secrets than he will be if the government he has dedicated his life to gets their hands on that same technology.

And the thing is, having a tragic ending doesn't make the show bad. This show is great. This scene is spectacular. It makes you think, it makes you feel things, it does all the stuff that great art is supposed to do. Absolutely none of what I'm saying here is meant to denigrate the show as a musical or a story or even a queer story. I hope it doesn't come off as me saying "actually this show is bad," because I don't feel that way at all.

Clearly I live and breathe this show. That's why I spend all my time on here analyzing every scene, every frame, every facial expression. I love this show so much that I can't help but deconstruct it and look at all its component parts- including the sociopolitical context both now and in 1961. Because that context, despite never being explicitly mentioned, is important to our understanding of these characters.

I love these characters so much that it's actually pretty difficult for me to watch A2P7 anymore, because the staircase scene is so emotionally devastating to me that it's hard to try to swing back into that more comedic tone (even though Spy Dance is a certified bop).

I'm not even sure what my point is with all of this, other than to say that Spies Are Forever is a show that is great and fun and funny as written/performed, and becomes gradually more emotionally devastating when you rewatch it or when you understand the subtext of it. When you can engage with the themes of gender and sexuality, surveillance and technology, trauma and trust, and tease out even more satisfying theories around this show.

So yeah. It's a musical. It's about spies.

[coriander-cilantro]

A few months back I chose to write my final critical analysis paper in my written communications class on Attack on Titan. I would like to rewrite parts of it and then release the full thing, but for now I figured I would share the part I wrote for theme. The theme is chose to focus on for this paper was the cyclical nature of violence and how it is shown in the story. Please enjoy 😊 🙏

While Attack on Titan presents many themes throughout its run, one of the most prominent in the final season is on the cyclical nature of violence and how it does no good as it goes on. The war between Marley and Paradis has been going on for two thousand years, and the people alive in the world today have only known this war, not even having a true answer to what started the war to begin with. A great example of how the cycle of violence affects the people within it is again found in the character Gabi. A child soldier, Gabi has known nothing but the war her entire life. Because of the propaganda promoted by the country, she views the inhabitants of Paradis as inherently evil. This, combined with Eren’s attack on her home, are what lead her to climbing aboard the airship and killing a soldier. When she gets to Paradis and is imprisoned, she continues to act recklessly and even kills her guard to escape the prison. It is then she is mistaken for an orphan and taken in by none other than the parents of the girl she had killed. They have no knowledge of who she actually is, but are immediately willing to show her kindness and take her in. When they learn who she actually is, the family turns against her, and it is suggested that the soldier’s father kills her to balance out the death of his daughter. He refuses, though. He speaks of raising his daughter, teaching her to protect herself in the woods where they lived and raised her. Using the forest as a metaphor for the cycle of violence, he explains further. When she went off to join the military, she only traded her home for a bigger forest. She only died because she wandered in the forest for too long, staying in the army she was bound to die, but she knew no other life. Gabi has also been raised in the forest so to speak. She has grown up in this war and has known nothing but violence, which has led her to being in this situation at such a young age, having no experience to know any better. The father addresses the other adults around him, stating that as the adults, as the ones who know how to do better, it is their job to lead the lost children out of the forest, and show them the truth behind the violence they have always known. It is his words, his explanation and his willingness to accept her actions, as well as the acceptance of the rest of the family that leads Gabi to seeing the truth of the world. She realizes that Eldians are not inherently evil, and that neither of the perspectives she was fed are particularly correct. After this she becomes significantly less recklessly violent, and begins to actually fight for what she, not her country, thinks is right--an end to the war on both sides. The show not only focuses on the cyclical nature of war and its effects, but also encourages the idea of one day being able to escape it.

[frenchfrywrites]

You know once I start I cannot stop myself

MINORS DNI

Warnings: switch male amab reader, switch Leona Kingscholar, drug usage (weed), sex while high, ruined orgasm, premature orgasm, (implied/very light) internalized homophobia, scent kink, slight dehumanization, blowjob, not very canon compliant

very loosely inspired by this, continuation of this fic, thank you to @pulpbeing for giving me the littlest nudge to write this :)

"I think I saw somewhere,” Leona begins as he blows smoke in your direction like the asshole he is, before he passes the blunt back to you, “someone said that the bible says it’s okay to be gay, if you’re high or some shit.”

You’re both on Leona’s bed, tangled in the mess of blankets, and buried in the mountain of pillows that smells like the beastman before you in a way that's intoxicating. The two of you started smoking a bit ago, and it’s just starting to hit right now, which makes it all the more difficult to figure out what the fuck he’s saying to you. You squint at him, like seeing him more clearly will make what he said any more understandable, before giving up and taking another deep hit. 

As you exhale, you notice he’s closer to you than he was before. “Are you even listening to me?” he growls, irritated with you, but not by much. His tail curls into a question-mark like shape. Cute.

“Yeah,” you pause to laugh at nothing in particular. Leona frowns, getting more irritated with you.

“Don’t laugh, I was saying something important,” he huffs. 

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologize, but you can’t stop grinning at him, “I just don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” you end the sentence with another long drag. This time, as you exhale, you reach over and snag a hand around Leona’s waist, tugging him into your lap. He falls into you easily crossing his arms on your chest and laying his head on them as he gazes up at you. 

“Didn’t you stop looking for excuses a while ago?” you ask, passing him the blunt back so you can let your hands wander to Leona’s ass. Instead of addressing you, he takes a hit, then cups your face with his free hand. You get the message and part your lips so he can shotgun it to you. 

“Can I tell you something,” he sighs softly, licking into your mouth just as soon as you exhale the smoke. “I don’t even remember what it is I said to you,” he mumbles against your lips. He sighs out a weak laugh that dies quickly once you press your lips against his. 

Leona moans softly, clutching at your face as he sloppily deepens the kiss, then moans again as you grope at his ass. You can feel his cock harden against your stomach, and your own dick is similarly twitching and filling within your pants. 

He lets you lick into his mouth, lets you suck on his tongue and lips, and whines when he feels your teeth scrape against him. Cottonmouth is no longer an issue with Leona’s drool and spit pooling into your mouth. Yes, of course he’s normally lazy, but when he’s high he’s borderline dead weight, letting you touch him all over while his hands stay grasping onto you for support. It’s like he puts all his energy into not falling asleep, falling over, or drooling on you (things that happen a lot when he’s really stoned), and forgets that he can touch you too. 

“Wait, wait,” he gasps, pulling away from your mouth. Instinctively, you chase after him with a whine, but he stops you by pressing his hand hard against your face. “I said fucking wait, let me put this,” he leans over, delicately putting out the blunt in the ashtray on his bedside table. You’d honestly forgotten entirely about it with Leona in your lap. “Don’t want my bed to fucking catch on fire,” he mutters, then laughs as he readjusts himself on your body. 

He settles so that his cock is pressed nicely against yours, and shoves his nose into your neck. Your hands fly from his ass to his head, scratching behind his ears. He inhales deeply, before letting his tongue lick the skin there, moaning at the taste (smell?) of you.

Leona stays there for a while, or maybe only a few seconds; you’re sinking further and further into your high, losing track of time and space around you. The only thing you’re focused on is the man in your lap. He licks and sucks at your neck, his tail swishing back and forth, purring so loud you can barely hear your own thoughts. In fact, your brain feels foggy and sticky with thoughts, except, you think that the inside of your pants must be far more sticky than your brain is. You laugh at that thought, and Leona unlatches from your skin, glaring at you. 

“Sorry kitty,” you coo. He whines loudly at the pet name, jerking his hips against you. You figure that means he forgives you.

Quickly, his hands are under your shirt tugging it up so he has access to your chest. He pushes your pecs together, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples slowly, like he’s mapping every inch of your skin in his mind.

“They’re not tits,” you remind him, holding your shirt up so he can continue to play with your chest all the same. 

“Yeah,” he grins while squeezing and tugging at them, “they are.” You nearly roll your eyes, but he’s leaning down and taking one of your nipples into his mouth before you get to it. 

“Oh,” you hum softly, more than pleased at the feeling of his tongue and teeth sucking and grazing along your nipples. You try not to think about how many girls' chests he’s littered with bite marks and hickey’s in the past. He’s yours now. 

Leona nuzzles his face against your chest, letting his fingers comb through the hair there. “Did I ever tell you how good you smell?” he asks, looking up at you. 

“Nuh,” you mumble, moaning when he sinks his teeth into the flesh of your pec. He hasn’t told you, but he doesn’t really need to. He doesn’t really do a good job of hiding how aroused he is by your scent.

“You smell,” and now it's his turn to moan, licking his way down from your chest to the waistband of your pants– your pants which are now uncomfortably tight with how hard you are. 

“Let me suck you off?” he asks, voice raw and thick with need. 

“Please,” and with permission granted, Leona pulls your pants down and takes your cock into his hand. You’re too far gone to think about grabbing a condom. Leona doesn’t seem to mind. It’s not like either of you are fucking anyone else these days. 

He kisses the tip sweetly, before descending along your length. Leona’s gotten much better at sucking cock since the first time he gave you head in the locker room. He takes you down his throat with ease, especially in the state he’s in now.

“You’re like a fleshlight,” and you didn’t really mean to say that out loud, but it’s true. When he’s high his throat is perfect for fucking. He’s so relaxed he’ll take anything you give him. Leona moans like a whore, swallowing and sucking around you. He pulls off after a moment, but it seems like it takes every ounce of energy within him to do so. 

“Fuck off, that was so hot,” he groans, stroking your length, “tell me more, keep talking,” he tries to command it, but it's him begging though and through. He's quick to suck you back into his mouth, missing the weight of you on his tongue.

“You’ve gotten so much better at this,” you grind your hips gently against his face as Leona deep throats you. “Learning what makes me feel good, ah, letting me use your mouth. Letting me fuck your ass and your mouth all the same, shit, just like that sweetheart, taking it like the bottom bitch you are.” He gurgles around your length, drooling and moaning as you slowly and shallowly fuck his throat.

“Can’t even imagine you topping, can’t imagine you were doing anything but getting your pretty ass railed,” Leona pulls off for a second time, in a rush, getting drool and pre all along his chin. 

“No, I can,” he protests, “I can fuck you, I can top.” You laugh, loud and hard.

“Yeah right,” Leona bristles, bearing his teeth at you. You hum, a spurt of pre leaking from your tip at the sight of him. “Okay, go get the lube then.” 

It takes longer than usual, both of you moving like you’re stuck in molasses, getting distracted with kissing and touching one another, but finally Leona is seated between your legs, naked and fingers coated with lube. He presses two against your rim and shoves them in roughly, making you gasp. 

“Fuck, start with one, asshole,” you hiss. Leona furrows his brows giving you a confused look. “It’s not a pussy, babe, you gotta be slow with me,” you remind him. He bites his bottom lip, looking apologetic, “just–” you shift slowly but surely adjusting to the intrusion that his fingers make. “Think about how I do it,” he nods at that, slowly moving and working his fingers into your ass. It’s majorly uncomfortable for the first few seconds– or minutes?– but then he wiggles his fingers against your prostate and you sigh, sinking into the bed beneath you. “There we go,” you moan. Leona purrs at the subtle praise, leaning in to press his lips against yours as he slowly works you open. 

“Can you take me soon?” he asks against your lips, doing his best to scissor you open.

“Add another finger, and more lube,” you instruct. He does as he’s told, easing out of you, and lathering his fingers before stuffing you full again. Your cock is leaking and twitching against your stomach, begging to be touched, but you hold off because you want him inside you before you cum. 

He might’ve fingered you for a whole hour, and you wouldn’t have realized. Every moment feels stretched, you feel like you’re drifting, and only the curl of his fingers and the press of his lips against your skin brings you back to what you’re doing. 

“Fuck me,” you finally gasp, squeezing around his fingers. It catches up to you quickly, the wave of your pleasure nearly crescendoing, crashing into an orgasm.  

Leona kisses you slow and deep as he gently pulls his fingers out of your hole once again. You take deep, shuddering breaths, trying to ground yourself, to keep yourself from cumming as he drenches his cock with lube. He presses himself against your entrance, and you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him close as he pushes into your ass. 

“Oh fuck,” he practically growls, feeling your tight heat squeeze and twitch around him. “Oh my god, hah, you’re so tight,” he whines. You beam at the praise, grinning from ear to ear, and then you’re giggling. Leona ignores your laughter, pressing his face into your neck and inhaling deeply as he sinks inch by blessed inch deeper into you. 

He doesn’t wait much for you to adjust, which is fine because yeah, he probably did finger you for an hour (it felt that way at least).

Leona snaps his hips into you, fucking you hard and deep, it feels like he’s in your stomach, hitting all the right spots, it’s so good you can’t focus too hard on any one sensation, simply bathing in the overwhelming pleasure that you’re feeling. And then it’s over.

Even though you don’t have the best concept of time, you know that was fast. His cum paints your insides, and he rides out his orgasm without care. 

“Sorry,” he moans once his hips still. 

“That was quick,” is what you say instead of “what the fuck” because, what the fuck. He whines, 

“I’m sorry alright?” he huffs, “you just felt too good.” 

You suppose you’ll take the compliment, but you’re a little pissed because you’re hard and denied what you know what would’ve been a killer orgasm. Leona pulls out his flaccid cock, and falls beside you on his stomach, shoving his face into a pillow.

“I’m gonna use you to get off,” you tell him before he can doze off. Leona moans, lifting his ass and wiggling it enticingly. It takes some time to convince your body to follow your brain’s demands, but then you’re pressed up behind him, rubbing your cock against his hole. You squirt lube directly onto his entrance, and show him how to properly prep someone. 

Leona’s back to purring now that you’ve got your fingers deep in his ass. His cock is only half hard, swaying between his legs as he grinds himself against your hand. 

“Fuckin’ needy,” you groan, draping yourself over his body– being careful of his tail– to kiss his neck lovingly. 

“Don’t you wanna cum?” he asks, which definitely translates to “fuck me please,” in whatever tsundere language Leona communicates in. 

“I wanted to cum with you balls deep inside of me,” you complain, pressing your fingers in roughly to punctuate your point. 

“Said I’m sorry,” he growls. You kiss his skin again,

“S’okay baby, I’ll give you another chance when you’re sober,” he mewls at that, clenching around your fingers. “But right now I’m gonna fuck you ‘til you’re fat and full with my cum,” it’s a threat and a promise. Leona arches his back further as your fingers leave him, his hole twitching and clenching around nothing while he waits for you to slather yourself with lube. 

Your name falls from his mouth in a long drawn out moan as you slide inside of him. He purrs loudly, reaching a hand behind himself, blindly reaching for you. You cage him in, sliding an arm around his front so he can cling to you as you start to fuck him deep and slow. 

It’s an honest to god relief to be fucking him. His insides are hot, sticky, and tight around your cock, sending waves of pleasure from your loins to your gut. Being denied an orgasm worked you up more than you’d admitted to yourself, and you can’t stop yourself from increasing the tempo of your thrusts, chasing your pleasure. Leona doesn’t seem to mind.

His moans are punched out of him, all high pitched and wanton, with each time that your cock fucks into him and brushes his prostate. His purring is loud, nearly covering up the wet sounds the lube makes and the sticky skin slapping against skin that comes from each thrust. 

You’re not going to last long, but you will last longer than Leona did inside of you. Reaching your arm lower, you take hold of his fully hard and leaking cock. He keens, jerking himself into your fist.

“Fuh-uck, please, make me cum,” he begs, his voice wrecked and weak. You wonder if you’re starting to come down as you stroke his cock with newfound control over your body. The sloppy, desperate movement of your hips sharpens, and you hit Leona’s prostate dead on with each thrust. His moans border on screams now, and you’re just as close. 

“Cum with me,” you mumble, quiet but you know he’s clinging on to every sound you’re making. He hears you, nodding and fluttering around you. 

A couple more thrusts and you’re thrown over the edge, finally finding the climax that you’d been chasing. Leona follows a millisecond later, dirtying his stomach and the sheets beneath him. You follow through on your promise, pumping his insides with your cum, filling him up. Leona babbles something incoherently, his nails digging into where he’d been holding onto your arm. 

“Shit,” he gasps once you’re both soft and tired to the bone now that the adrenaline has worn off. “Shit,” he drags out the word when you ease out of him slowly, and flop onto the bed next to him. 

“I might fall asleep before you, for once,” you admit, feeling like you’ve run a marathon. Leona snorts, 

“Doubt that,” he says as he rolls over to cuddle into your body. “If you fall asleep, then who’ll clean us up?” he bats his lashes at you, like that’ll work. 

“We’re both just gonna have to be filthy, until one of us can carry the other to the bathroom.” Leona shrugs at your words, 

“S’not gonna be me,” he whispers, closing his eyes as his breathing slows and evens out. 

You know you’ll be the one to care for him, and that doesn’t bother you one bit. And you know he doesn’t mind the drying cum and lube that’s smeared along your bodies as you regain your energy.

[jazeswhbhaven]

It saddens me to say lovelies...that the future of this account...is that of a concerning fate....

WAKE UP LOVELIES

...it's the first of the month....

This account for one isn't going anywhere btw. Had to make a little jokey joke because april fools day y'know.

I do have some updates though since I always give them for each month. 💖

First, I've finally made it to 500 follows??? Thank you all for being amazing and showing up and showing out for the love on all my drabbles, request answers, just anything. Especially my brain rot. A couple of things I'd like to address for this blog as it grows is the following:

-this is a judgement free zone within reason. i have my boundaries and strong opinions that may pop up, my intention isn't to be 'hoiler than thow' or wave fingers (i mean i'm playing a demon sex game hello?) but at the same time, there's some stuff that just ain't it and i will bring it up if i feel the need to to establish my limits.

-i am only one admin with audhd and a fucked up sleep schedule. so i may be late to the hype, right on it, or it's two days later and i'm catching up. that's just how it is

But I welcome you, and if you're new...enjoy your stay, it's wild here.

NOW onto my requests/inbox

If you've checked my pinned there's been updates. As of today, any request sent from now until the end of the month will not be answered until May in the order received. Any requests you see posted during April are old ones I hadn't gotten to. I'm working this month on how to organize requests, and make sure I stick to my waiting times as per stated or throw them out. I like working on requests, it gives me something to do. However I really wanted to focus on creating my own content for the blog, that's what I started this entire thing for (if any of you remember my old now shadowbanned blog) that was the base of it. Which segways into this next bit. I am dangerously shifting into burn out mode....

The thing about being nuerodivergent and on medications for different illnesses, and while trying to build a healthier lifestyle, I am constantly battling wanting to keep up with my writing peers on posting fics, answering requests, being a part of a fandom again.

But ngl the numbers are killing me. I get anxious about getting a huge following and then coming up short cause I know how it gets. Hard criticism, parasocial relationships, hate follows, that shit haunts me. So when I try to answer ya'lls request quickly I sit here at my computer numb and brain full of fog because I simply can't think of how to answer. That's been happening a lot. And truthfully April is never a good month for me. I just want to coast this month...be minimally busy as possible and just not think much. To rememdy that, this is why I have decided to take an entire month off taking any new requests. A reset. Trying to find that balance. I need it before I crack.

Andddd now for some light hearted stuff.

It's my birthday month!

idk if I'll be doing a special thing on this blog during that time, but if I do, you'll know~ Beel's birthday is on the 4th btw so that's really cool we share the same month ^^ Got him on the quiz, both of us have adhd, and now the same birthday month. He just wants me to surround myself around him huh? i don't mind that tho. that's my boo.

To end this long ass post, stay awesome, stay lovely, and enjoy my brain rot and stupid reacts 😘

-your lovely admin, ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)