#i know it's still flawed but for now I'm somewhat satisfied

[yandere-daydreams]

Just went through all your genshin android doll au and now I'm. Thinking.

A reader who works with young kids in some capacity, maybe a teacher. Buys a second hand Albedo bot (because lord knows they dont make enough for a brand new one) with some bugs. It's not quite "isolate you from friends and family" levels and more... Clinginess. Anxiety when you need to leave for an errand. But he needs to stay home while you're still fixing him up with YouTube how to videos, just in case.

He has many quirks still remaining by the time hes able to join the classroom, but they're completely harmless. His tendency to make too much or too little eye contact, trailing after you like a duckling for the first few weeks, rocking and clicking his tounge(? Voice box?). But these are all traits you've seen before in your own kids, and his body language isn't something that needs to be fixed. It's helpful for some of your students to open up and express themselves, when they see an adult figure like them.

But of course, he still gets rather lonely. He wants to take care of you when your home, it's how he keeps your attention. He gets irritable if he's idle for too long. So you pick up a Klee model since he gets along so well with kids, and they're both models approved to used in classrooms. She's more then energetic enough to keep him busy, and they get along like bread and butter. Or a house on fire. You still have to buy second hand after all, and Klee came with some fixations. But thats nothing an equipped science bot can't handle, Albedo keeps her satisfied with science experiments. You buy another fire extinguisher just to be safe.

It isn't until you're fixing up a Albedo you got at a steal (free99) from the seller who gave you Albedo and Klee that you realize you've become somewhat of a hobbyist. This one will probably be your last permenant bot, considering his higher needs, but you've gotten quite good at fixing up quirky models. This Albedo reverted to his beta personality that had been left in some forgotten folder, and no one could quite get him to go back. But thats not your goal.

You patch some of the more... Aggressive tendancies and bugs, and leave the personality itself in tact. This gains you quite a bit of favour with your new companion, and he's quick to fall into your daily life. He exhibits some... Jealous habits with your original Albedo, picking on him and trying to one up him any chance he has. But thankfully Klee and the classroom is something they can both agree on, so it rarely extends past an (usually) innocent rivalry.

Sorry for the surprisingly long ask, but androids are one of my favorite tropes!! And Albedo (and his double) are one of my favorite characters... Please enjoy my ramblings

tw - unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, all albedos ini this scenario are extremely questionable.

dkljfdkdjksdjfksfsdjfsj i have not touched the sex doll au in a hot minute but i think albedo's 'beta' personality would probably have been developed and refined as an attempt to give one of the child-friend robots a bit of an edgier personality before immediately realizing that that's,,, just not a great idea and mellowing him down into our current and well-loved albedo. needless to say, when you get him in the same room as his replacement, he's less than pleased - as is your first albedo, your original companion, as he's intent on reminding you as often as he can. still, you're his precious master, and he's fond enough of klee, so he bares with the unwanted company, makes-nice with your first albedo droid, helps around your classroom, tries to prove that he can help you the way he's supposed to, too, even after the dozenth time you turn him down. you say you just doesn't feel right to sleep with the same android you bring to work everyday, but he has a feeling it might have something to do with the rip-off you keep so close to your side, the flawed copy who can't seem to go a minute without your attention. you refuse to believe him, but he swears that he's seen his copy drop that innocent mask, spare a smirk over your shoulder as you compliment him on another day of keeping your classroom relatively un-wrecked by grade-schoolers, slip into your room tonight after klee's powered down for the night. clearly, he's not the companion you deserve. clearly, teyvat made a few mistakes when they took his programming and butchered it.

and, while you might be too oblivious to see it, it's clear to him that your little family could do without a duplicate.

[batrachised]

and so we come to the end of Jane of Lantern Hill!

Before I get into the somewhat wincingly bad ending, I'd like to mull over my personal journey with the book out loud, because what is tumblr for if not for navel gazing.

It sounds odd, but for all I've read this book a thousand times before, I had actually never picked up on a lot of what the book club has discussed. I found this book at an age I don't remember, but it was young, and I was glued to it after that and reread it so many times with that first framing. If you had asked me to describe Lantern Hill before the book club, I would have immediately pointed to those chapters in the middle where Jane is thriving, happy with a dad who understands her, her foot on her native heath. In all honesty, I barely registered the existence of Robin. I had my problems with her, but was fairly neutral on her overall because to me the book was so entirely about Jane's experience on PEI. While I knew the book had this disparity between intent and execution in some places, they were in the places I never really looked at twice.

Reading this book so slowly this time around with so many different perspectives was very entertaining lol, most especially because there were so many wildly different opinions, and often on things I had never thought through deeply myself. Robin is the best example of that. And honestly, it's changed my love for the book-not in a way that dampens it, but in a way that gives me a new appreciation. I remember thinking of Jane as a very simple book when I read it over a decade ago for the first time; it's only now with the book club that I'm grasping how truly complex it, and its characters, are. In many ways, there aren't easy answers here.

In the end, I really like a line from a review I read the other day: this is a book whose heart does not lie in the ending. That reflects my personal reaction to the novel perfectly. To me, this book was always about Jane finding her spot on PEI, probably because of the age I first read it. Jane's adventures in homemaking are cozy and satisfying and heartwarming, and they made me want to have a little kitchen and struggle with donuts and learn how to garden.

That being said, the overarching plot and its sad clown honk of an ending can't be ignored. I actually think Robin and Andrew rushing back into each other's arms makes sense for the characters, even if it's very rushed because they're insane. However, it's also emblematic of all the problems they had before, and indicates these problems will continue. LMM does set up them up for success in that (1) Andrew apologizes and overcomes his pride (2) Robin stands up to the grandmother. However, it's more than a little slapdash. Then there's the ultimate parentification of Jane, albeit self-parentification. I do think Jane thinking she'd communicate for her parents is Jane's potentially flawed reading...but I don't think LMM meant it to be flawed sklsksl. This is where I say for me, the book ends with the chapter before, because for me, the book is about Jane's emotional arc. While I do like that the parents get back together, I don't think LMM earns this ending.

All of the discussion from the book club has been delightful, and a dream come true. There are some points raised that I'm still thinking over, and will still be thinking over for a while. so i'll end this post by thanking everyone who participated by posting and sharing posts - it was a ball, and all of ya'll know your onions <3

[halliescomut]

Naughty Babe Ramble

There's gonna be spoilers up to episode 4...just so you're aware.

I've been really stuck thinking about this past episode and sort of where we are about half-way through. I know for a lot of people, Naughty Babe is just silly fun, and there's also plenty who just wave it off as campy semi-BS. And while the show is certainly set up to be more silly than serious, I really have been engrossed by the new glimpses we've gotten into Yi and Diao now that they're at the center.

I loved them as a couple in the Cutie Pie series, though I had some concerns, mostly things that I've been able to abandon now that we've gotten a bit more insight into Yi's mind specifically. Cutie Pie is very much Kuea's perspective, and therefore pretty knowledgeable of Diao's personality, but less so of Yi.

And while I was somewhat suspicious of what we were going to see after the trailers, knowing about the whole amnesia thing, I'm actually pretty satisfied overall. Both because the amnesia didn't last for the whole season, but also because they clearly recognize that Diao knows Yi well enough to figure out he's lying. Like I do agree that both Lian and his dad would figure it out first, just because Yi doesn't hide so much from them, but I was concerned they would set Diao up to look a bit like an imbecile, and he is so not.

I'm gonna start by talking about Diao, mostly because he's my favorite, but also because if we recognize that this show is mostly Yi's perspective, then I'm so happy they're still showing Diao as feisty, and cute. He's still shown as a little shy, but I think he's definitely guarded around Yi, especially right in this time, so it makes sense, that he sort of reads it that way. One of my favorite things about Diao in Cutie Pie was that he was clearly just as strong-willed and self-aware as Kuea, but where Kuea is more brash, Diao is just a tad softer. But his softness isn't weakness (I fucking hate when people think that) and we're continually given glimpses of his strength, both mentally and physically.

His practice and teaching of Taekwondo is clearly part of that, it's a martial arts style that has a heavy focus on meditation and mindfulness, but also philosophy of how you should behave as a citizen of humanity. It's also listed often as a potentially good option for self-defense in those that are of smaller stature (which Diao is). It's a martial art that I think is well-matched to the character, in that it's both strong and elegant, with a focus on moral character.

The series so far shows Diao as mainly admirable...which is great, but it also speaks to what Diao is so frustrated by. He's not a piece of art, he doesn't want to be set on a pedestal and admired, he wants to be loved. He's been clear in his passion to Yi in the past, but it's Yi's that's stuck in his own head about what if's and so they aren't able to progress. And so now we're 3 years in the future, and Diao's wondering if he read everything all wrong.

So moving on to hia Yi...I know you're trying, but god, do I wish that you would just get it together. I understand that the root of his behavior is all fear. He's afraid that the past coming to light, and his connection to Diao's trauma will cause DIao to hate him...and dude...if you pulled your head out of your ass and actually took in the person that Diao has become you'd see that it would never happen. I know he's drowning in the guilt of what happened with the tiger/puma/dog/jackalope (depending on when and where the story's being told)...but if you think Diao would learn that and not recognize that you were a 15 year old child who made a horrible mistake??? Diao has so much empathy, and Yi knows that, but he's still can't comprehend that that empathy also extends to him for some reason.

As flawed as the man is, and honestly as poorly as he sees himself sometimes, though usually glossed over by the sheen of narcissism, he can be such a good man. In all of this universe, I've always been a bit meh on Max's acting, I'll be honest. He's fine, but I've always felt like because his character was so staid that I wasn't engaged, especially when Zee and Nunew and Nat were given so much more expression and emotion. But this last couple of episodes really, but especially number four, he has really been doing some great work.

He's both solidified a lot of aspects of the character as well as bringing new depth. The nightmares talk and panic attack scene were really so good. Him just laying there as Diao talks about his nightmares and his eyes are just full of so many different emotions. and then when the panic attack really kicks in, his overall concern is not disturbing Diao. You don't have to have an internal monologue to know exactly where this panic attack comes from, and it's portrayed really well in my opinion. Of course everyone's experience will differ, but my sister has an anxiety disorder, and really her feelings as she's described them and her physical condition as I've watched her experience these attacks...they match up pretty well.

In a lot of ways I do feel like we are seeing a little bit of the same character arc for the couple here that we saw for Lian and Kuea in Cutie Pie, with both Lian and Yi afraid that somehow they're being selfish in wanting their relationships with Kuea and Diao respectively. I think it's something that stems from their age difference, this knowing that there is a lot of opportunity out there for them, and are they sort of clipping their wings? It's a bit different for Kuea and Diao, but it does boil down to both wanting to be truly seen for who they are. For Kuea it was about reconciling his 'true self' and knowing that Lian loved him still. With Diao, I think it's about being seen as himself, but also being seen as someone worthy of being a true partner to Yi, to stand beside him. I think Yi's tendency to coddle him and lie to him has caused him to assume that Yi doesn't believe he's capable of handling the truth. And in a bit of a match to Kuea, since they've always been these sort of biddable, polite people (which is based around the cultural expectations especially in relation to their age difference), will there still be love and affection if they're assertive of their own needs/desires? For Kuea the answer was clearly yes, which Diao knows, but I think Lian was also a lot easier to read for Diao than Yi. It's also complicated by the fact that Diao is also afraid of what he might see, and so I think he chooses not to.

My last little part isn't really about character, but more about how wildly uncomfortable I was watching the interactions between Diao's family and Yi and Diao. It was both awkward and insanely infuriating. I felt so insulted on Yi's behalf, watching this family treat him like little more than an open wallet. And don't even get me started on Diao, the way I know he was so embarrassed by their behavior, not just because it's so icky, but also because it makes him wonder "Does hia Yi think that I'm in this for his money??" I also kind of hated it because hia Yi clearly values family, and I know for certain that he's glad that his own father has such strong love and affection for Diao, to not be seen equally by Diao's family probably really hurts.

(I'm sorry this was such a ramble, but I have a lot of random feelings about the show.)

[davekat-sucks]

Do you think Homestuck has value despite its flaws, or do you think the whole comic is a wash because it couldn't stick the landing?

Speaking as someone who didn't like basically anything after Game Over and agrees that Davekat was a dopey pairing (or at least too underexplored to be as satisfying as Rosemary or even a non-starter like JohnVris), I think you're being too hard on Homestuck. There are lots of ways it could've "made more sense" in Act 6 and beyond, lots of setups I wish it had paid off, but a comic doesn't have to be an equation. It can fuck up and fall to pieces and still be worthwhile, you know? It's okay for art to be messy.

Criticism is warranted, I'm not telling you to shut up and keep your opinions to yourself and I'm especially not going to defend all of Hussie's choices, some of which are definitely kinda nuts! But it sucks to see people turn on an artist like this just because he didn't deliver exactly what they wanted. Especially if the reason is that he went through a big transition and changed his perspective on the work.

Was the change in perspective from things like Hussie's father dying that the mood of the series turned out to be this way? Was it from bad influences from people he hired in WhatPumpkin? If it was something like this, I could almost give Andrew Hussie a bit of sympathy. Maybe more that he had the weight of the fandom on his shoulders and didn't react properly because he the attention made him nervous. Or that he took his persona of being an asshole author to far that he deluded himself thinking he is a likeable asshole. Of course, Andrew Hussie could have just given the series away or make the IP open to public. But did not choose that if it means he will lose attention on him and potential money. Whatever it may be, we won't ever know. Hussie sure as hell won't admit it out loud without his ego and pride placed out in the front. I probably wouldn't be as harsh on the series if stuff like the Homestuck Epilogues and Homestuck^2 did not existed to let people enjoy the webcomic. But if the sequels still needed to exist, then I just blame the new generation that took it too seriously as part of the next installment. It has been stated numerous times it was not canon, but now, it is still taken as part of canon from the fanbase. Even now, some of the fanart and fics will happen to be connected to those sequels in some manner because it solidify popular fanon for the modern generation, such as Davekat or Trans Roxy. I just wish WhatPumpkin comes out from the indefinite hiatus and lets out the story outline to say what was the complete plan for HS2. That or cancelling outright. Because the dubious sequels after it came out, left a horrible mark. You can't say you like DaveJade or say Roxy is not trans without people going on Davekat being a thing as well as Trans Roxy being now canon because of the non-canon sequels. It's why people are still arguing about John Egbert or June Egbert because of a damn Toblerone wish that was brought up. Some art can be messy. How one handles it varies from each individual. Just the way Andrew Hussie went about it was a clusterfuck in itself. I also don't mind if art is still messy to this day as I believe we can still like the things that it had worked well in. I mean, people still love RWBY for Monty Oum himself, the fight scenes, and the music that was in it. They don't have to like current RWBY under RoosterTeeth's control. That's how I feel it is with Homestuck now. Just that the fanbase is ever as hostile to others who disagree with certain opinions, as it is with this modern fandom under the influence of progressive activism. Either way, Hussie is a strange person that you know he is a massive prick, but still have small sympathy for. Those dark moments in his life had shaped to what Homestuck has become now and it is still being somewhat shown in the dubious materials and Psycholonials. People can still like old Homestuck and ignore the newer shit.

[jayextee]

RAGE 2

In a turn of events that will shock and appal anybody who knows me personally, I'm in love with a polarising game.

"In love" is too strong a term, perhaps. The thing is, every 'RAGE 2 is shit' take I see on the Internet, the harder I wanna double-down on being a fan of this game. And its prequel, yes, I am one of the three who love it.

What we have here though, is an awkward marriage between Avalanche Studios' openworld design a la the excellent Mad Max and id Software's trademark (if you ignore DOOM 3, as I often do) brand of satisfying shootybangs. It works as much as it doesn't, so I'm gonna go through the good, the bad, and the ugly right here.

The Good

Oh for crying out loud, RAGE 2 is a beautiful game. Although sadly lacking some of the stylisation of the original game (which reminded me personally of those late '90s fully-painted 2000AD strips and covers, niiiiice...) but now we have colour! And absolutely oodles of the stuff, including my beloved pink; used to great effect to draw attention to and highlight important interactables or areas. This lends itself to a visual clarity that supplants the gunplay excellently.

And of the gunplay, oh, I have some words. They're all good words. RAGE was no sloucher in this department itself, so build upon that absolutely solid base with a bunch of Nanotrite-fuelled abilities to spice up battlefield agility and strategy and we have ourselves one hell of a fun time. Even the vehicular combat has seen a welcome shot in the arm, although it's not quite as satisfying as that seen in Mad Max, it's still pretty fun to take down the endlessly-respawning convoys across the wasteland.

The Bad

That aforementioned wasteland. 'Waste' is indeed the operative term there; for there's a lot of empty space. Now, I don't play a lot of openworld games at all (RAGE, Mad Max, and the Arkham games are basically my entire diet) so this could be par for the course. But so much of it's just

s t r e t c h e d - o u t

and lulls between that satisfying gunplay can be pretty large sometimes. Especially stings when engaging with the openworld is pretty much the meat of the game's filler content, even when playing for a minimal 'see the ending' run.

This is lessened somewhat with certain lategame vehicles (I'd have gone insane were it not for the Icarus, I tells ya) but still. Look, I've already said I like this game a lot, are you expecting a whole itinerary of complaints here?

The Ugly

Not literally ugly, as this is a great-looking game through and through. But there are bugs. Ragdoll bugs, floating prop bugs, frozen physics object bugs, enemies stomping the player through the floor bugs, invisible NPC bugs; even a particularly-heinous game-breaker that can happen literally as the final mission is supposed to trigger that so far, fingers crossed, I've managed to avoid on both a casual playthrough and a completionist one. But hey, I guess this is technically A Bethesda Game™ and I gather that pretty much goes with the territory at this point.

Also it's worth noting that the game fucking loves the Cyber-Crusher boss and there are a few of those. They don't get any more difficult each time either, it's just the one boss again. And again. And so forth.

Conclusion

It's good! I like it a lot! Even love, to spite The Internet in general because I love to cheer on any underdog I see; imagined or otherwise. It's got some flaws but I was very much willing to overlook these things for a game that, although I couldn't say was unilaterally-superior to its prequel, does nonetheless take some steps to improve upon it. And it has a proper final boss encounter as well, instead of, well, just a room that the original game had.

Unpopular opinion maybe, I wish they'd do a third. 4/5

[ultfreakme]

I am highly concerned by the amount of people in the JJK fandom going "hey maybe Geto has a point". He wants to genocide about 99% of the human population. "Maybe it's best to kill every non-sorcerer because that means no curses."

*deep sigh*

Now, I'm no expert in JJK lore, but from what I know, though curse users are able to control their energy far better than non-sorcerers, their resentment still leaves residues. There is no way to fully eliminate it. Sorcerers also have a chance of becoming cursed spirits themselves. Geto's idea is that if you kill all non-sorcerers, the cursed spirits would be gone due to a lack of uncontrolled resentment and whatever spirits do remain would be more easily killed.

But no matter what Geto does, resentment itself cannot be eliminated. Every human, be they sorcerer or non-sorcerer is going to feel things and part of that is resentment. It's just what being human means. If you have resentment it means at some point you had a positive emotion that went sour due to life events. You can't be happy at every single moment of your life. You can be content, you can be satisfied and overall feel good about yourself and your existence but the human existence is defined by ups-and-downs.

It's also practically impossible to eliminate all non-sorcerers without Geto becoming the very thing that led to his spiral. Sorcerers can produce children with zero affinity for curses. What's he going to do? Wait till they're 4-6, then kill them? Won't that make the parents resentful? Would it not be possible for the dead child to come back as a curse? Because Rika happened. Yuuta had a specific able to curse her but Gojo says the greatest curse is 'love'. Feelings play a huge role in curses. It won't matter what Geto does, humans feel, and you don't even have to be that powerful as a curse user to create or become a horrible curse.

Also, the whole thing about "the strong must rule the weak" thing is highly flawed too. Like come on, society's backbone is what people would consider "the weak". Curses themselves have power and exist because of the non-sorcerer people's resentment and negative emotions.

JJK might constantly repeat that the strong rule the weak but you know what else it enforces for every single character? That it's lonely at the top. That power and strength means absolutely nothing if there's no one else around you.

You need "the weak". Be they Sukuna, Gojo, Geto, Itadori, Megumi, Nobara- whomever they are- they need people. It's so clear most of these people don't even really belie the "strong rule the weak" thing because Gojo care a LOT about the kids. Geto protects Mimiko and Nanako though I'm pretty sure they aren't particularly strong curse users. They all have 'weak' people that they keep around and care about because when the powerful people got to the top all they wanted was company.

Thinking that the strong hold all the power is foolish, especially in real life. The 'strong' got to the point they're at on the backs of the 'weak'. The 'weak' can bring them down if they choose not to allow them to stay there. Society isn't about strength or weakness in any field, we're all co-existing, we're all in this shit together and we got to this point as a species because of community, not because of some mad race that allows only the strongest to live.

Geto wouldn't have become the person that he is if the Jujutsu society allowed for people to get help and actually form bonds instead of treating people based on their grade level. Geto's idea was somewhat right in that the only way to fix anything is to have more sorcerers. If the information of curses being real went public, more people who have some kinda connection or ability to be curse users would pop up more frequently to learn and understand themselves. If people became aware that spirits are real and dangerous, they'd have the precaution and knowledge to guard themselves better.

Living in isolation and in secrets, hoarding power to one place, it's never going to work. The giant divide between Jujutsu society and regular society is what causes sorcerers to be disillusioned. If people were allowed to know, sure yeah maybe resentment and negatice emotions would spike but people WILL adapt. It's the best part of being human- we can adapt fast to fucking anything.

In the long-term, sorcerers would increase in number purely because of the accessibility of the information. Heck even those who have no affinity can get on board the way Maki did (maybe not to her level but to some small extent that allows better protection).

Geto's right in that it's best if there are more non-sorcerers but his way of going about it is wrong.

I think the core message of JJK is that companionship and empathy are important. The strongest sorcerer was defeated by love, Sukuna's whole thing started due to loneliness. Yeah, the power of friendship and trusted bonds is the answer, even if it doesn't seem like it.

[sleeplessregret]

what am i even doing here? dunno, doesn't matter i guess. just wasting time away. wasting time i could spend sleeping, learning japanese, educating myself. but who am i joking. trying out stuff like this to somehow change my life. the life, that i'm living for years without being satisfied, but also without feeling a great enough urge to change. to actually do something. sometimes i want to call my state of mind "suffering". but i usually refrain of doing so. i mean i don't wanna sound like those edgy kids. and i know people who probably do worse. so who am i to complain. and since all this "suffering" is somewhat self-inflicted, there is no way I actually could complain. so here i'm sitting. deep in the night, trying out something i'll be abandoning by tomorrow but who knows. i guess it could be some form of therapy when done correctly. but how could you even do something like this "correct". so here i am, just writing down everything that comes to mind in my broken and flawed english. a language i am getting sonicated with more than with my mother tongue but still not able to speak properly. embarrasing ain't it. searching for elemantal words, anxiously typing words into translators to confirm my thought of what they mean. but whatever. weekends over, nothing achieved, nothing new for me. the biggest achievements nowadays are finishing anime shows. actually watched/finished a couple great ones recently. especcially "rain town" - a ten minute short movie. really made me feel all sorts of emotions. just a beautiful experience. and since anime is currently my main way of experiencing positive feelings, it is more of an escape from the real world than ever - at least so it feels. and well, interacting and spending time with a single person is currently the only other way of actually feeling anything. i'm very greatful for that time, although i can't really show these sort of emotions, which is quite a burden to me. especially when it comes to family. so many things i am truly grateful for, but cannot express these sort of emotions make me feel like a horrible person. since i'm so rarely able to pay them back. makes me feel like i'm really not deserving these kind of people around me. and since i'm already losing these close people slowly, i wouldn't be surprised if at some point noone is left.

man what a stupid human being am i. what does it take, that i will actually change something. losing weight, finding interests, getting in touch with people. so many big goals, but i can't even start with the little things. i'm failing at the literal first steps as if it doesn't affect me. like if everything is already fine and all those things are just nice little extras. but they are fucking essentials. but its just the result of my current lifestyle. the result of always telling myself that everything is fine. that everything somehow will work out. and the worst thing is, it mostly did. it's not like a level in a game, where you can't continue unless you learned a certain trait, unless you accomplished a certain something. life just goes on. and you can proceed with very little skills, with a weak mindset, with little people close to you. with an unhealthy lifestyle. no one is holding you back. and that is exactly my demise. i work better when i get instructions. when i get told what to do and in the best case punished if i can't do it. what sounds pathetic is exactly that. i just know, that the current circumstances are seemlingly not enough to flip a switch inside of me. doing stuff for myself is always harder, than when doing it for someone else. and since this someone doesn't exist for me, i wonder if something will ever change.

just listening to a chill stream right now and hearing the streamer ask chat if they had some special skills. while obviously not receiving serious responses, i couldn't even think of a serious one. at least of nothing, that i'm not tired of myself yet. like yeah, i can calculate big numbers in my head...wow. nice to show off, but nothing of worth. being considered smart by others, but that is a simple illusion for people, who think a good result in a common iq-test means, you're actually smart. playing tennis on an insignificant level for half my life, but not really being able to play at all in the last years. or i guess i could, but me not living at a place for more then six months because of studies doesn't really help with settling down in a place and building some sort of foundation for my life. but even if i had this opportunity right now, i couldn't pull it off anyway. so again, i'm just trying to escape into excuses, why i apparently can't do anything about something like this. finding excuses is a vital task for me in general, because once i run out of them, i can't even justify my actions to myself anymore. a truly horrifying thought. actually getting confronted with responsibilities without having reasons to procrastinate is something a person like me fears at least as much as those responsibilities themself. but yeah, writing about it helps, right? i don't feel like it. i'm not really getting as emotional invested in this as i imagined - maybe hoped. nah, i didn't expected anything from this in the first place. and since i most likely won't look back at these texts anyway, those a just words left to rot in a distant corner, where i'll never take a glance back at them anymore. is this how you say it? probably not. whatever. not really feeling myself thinking about this stuff right now.

i mean, at this point i already did a solid job anyway. that's what i'm telling myself. talking about my problems is generally known as a good thing. and i just did that. so that was already a good thing. an illusion, i'll use for now, so i can feel some sort of satisfaction. and since it might actually be a good start i'll just prevent any further debate about this in my head. i know it's not enough. i know that i probably won't continue this anyway. because this is something i do solely for myself. and these things don't last long. never did.

it's nearly 3am now. wasted another chance of getting enough sleep. but who am i joking. even without writing this, i would still be awake, drowning myself in distractions so i can get the feeling of experiencing things. things more important than sleep. which they aren't. but it's too late for being rational anyways.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

CDREAM FOR THE ASK THING PLS

First impression

I actually got into the Dream SMP from reading about exile arc and deciding “oh heck yeah, that sounds like my jam.” (Yeah, I’ve always been like this). So, going in, I was very aware of his obsession with c!Tommy (even the recaps I read made that obvious, despite it not being common knowledge among the fanmade at that point). It made watching the early days a lot funnier, I think. I kept thinking “oh yeah I see it now” and then it kept getting worse and this was when lore had literally just started. He was probably my second favourite character, but I preferred c!Tommy to him back then.

Impression now

He’s my joint favourite, along with c!Tommy! I've spent a lot of time analysing and learning about him, and I’ve definitely grown to be more sympathetic towards him, though I still think he’s an irredeemable piece of shit (that’s why I love him!). The thing is, though, the things which have hurt him are all his fault, the consequences of him cruelty (apart from the torture of course), and I find that very satisfying too. He’s an awful person who doesn’t want to get better, but I get why, at least partially. I can see a lot of my own flaws in him (though obviously a lot worse in him than me!), and in a lot of ways he actually helped me to realise I was doing wrong by having those flaws and starting to work on fixing them.

Favorite moment

“I'm going to make you immortal for me.” If only because I fucking called it. Well, not only, it’s a great c!Primeboys horror moment, but I’d say “Every single time c!Primeboys have interacted, every single one.” otherwise.

Idea for a story

Something I think would be interesting is seeing through his point of view for his actions, his warped “love” and “care” for the server masking his obvious cruelty. I always like works that play with making you feel sympathy for the irredeemable, drawing you into the worldview of horrible people and almost agreeing with them until they do something blatantly morally reprehensible again.

Unpopular opinion

Well, in the past, my “c!Dream doesn't hate c!Tommy!” agenda was nowhere, but I think most of the fandom has realised that now, so I’ll say- c!Dream absolutely does care for the rest of c!Dream Team, and the rest of the server in general. It’s just, like his “care” for c!Tommy, it’s obsessive, possessive, and dehumanising. He views the server as his property, including the people in it, and he views the people as things to toy with, and in his own head that makes them “family.” His obsession with c!Tommy isn’t unique- he’s obsessive in general- it’s just much more intense because he views c!Tommy as both unique and the only person who’s truly a threat- and therefore, the closest person to being his equal.

Favorite relationship

I don’t think I even need to answer this one. You all already know.

Favorite headcanon

c!Dream has extreme trust issues, completely unable to trust anyone he doesn’t view as completely under his control. As such, during exile, he did start to genuinely trust c!Tommy, and was even willing to take his mask off in front of him. It’s also part of the reason he misses exile, outside of being a sadistic bastard who finds suffering to be a fascinating experiment and a fun game (though that’s also true). He's desperately lonely without someone he sees as trustworthy enough to be somewhat vulnerable around.

[subconscious-thoughts]

Fall In Love with Someone's Strength

Everyone deserves love, everyone deserves to be accepted, and everyone deserves to be understood too.

No one is perfect; we all have our "weaknesses", our flaws, our dark side, red flags, and/or toxic character traits.

There's nothing wrong with falling in love, there's nothing morally wrong in believing you can change someone with your love, there's nothing wrong with still caring about someone who hurts you on purpose or unconsciously.

But understand that these beliefs have consequences whether you like to admit it or not, and if you're like me who's affected by the consequences of these beliefs. Come join me, let's take some time to reflect.

Currently, I have a friend right now who is staying in a somewhat unhealthy relationship. One thing she told me that stuck with me is that she fell in love with this guy's "weakness", his "vulnerability" she says. I don't know about you guys, but to me people having a vulnerable side is a normal thing. It's just a matter of people opening it up, but either way it's still normal to me when people show their vulnerable side. It could be because of my mindset of always expecting the duality in people.

But why am I stuck at this? Why do I keep going back to what she said? There's something about loving someone because of their weaknesses that bothers me. Because I too, used to think the same thing. I used to be attracted and motivated to get into relationships with people who show their "other side", cause I thought seeing someone's vulnerable side meant I was special and that this person trusted me. (Which is true, but only the part that they trusted me).

That was the problem, it made me feel special. It was like a subliminal way of getting someone's approval that felt so addictively satisfying to have. But... if recent experiences have taught me anything is that, loving someone because of their flaws? Will guarantee that they will take advantage of you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should suddenly up and leave or villify someone for having flaws. That's not my point, my point is we shouldn't give someone a reason to continue what they know is wrong. Right? The best we can do is understand and accept the way that they are, but just because you love them doesn't mean you should tolerate their misbehaviors. Especially misbehaviors that can usually drain the life out of you.

So it just occured to me, that when we fall in love. It's best that we fall in love with someone's strength(s). (Honesty, compassion, intelligence, patience, etc.) because our love, is the reward. If psychology has taught me anything, people are susceptible to operant conditioning especially in relationships.

When you reward a behavior, they will continue that behavior. In this context; if you reward a toxic behavior with love, then they will continue that toxic behavior. If you reward good behavior with love, then they will continue that good behavior.

If you say that "If they really loved me then they would change." Duh.

But we have to understand that we're not, "not loving" them by telling them to stop their misbehaviors. By setting boundaries we protect our hearts (which we should), and we are able to continue our relationship with them in a healthy and sustainable manner.

Love should be free and unconditional, yes. But our hearts have its limits, we all know it. If we are unconditionally accepting others, shouldn't we be also doing the same for ourselves?

[animeyanderelover]

Ok I'm starting to notice Leorio gets little to no love so I just had to request a one-shot for him plus honestly I think he'd be one of the least stressful Yandere's to have.I'd love to see your interpretation with prompt 84“I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.”

Leorio is really a very easy one to deal with. And I totally agree, he doesn’t get enough love😤.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, overprotectiveness, violence

Prompt 84: “I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.”

Leorio. A name that you had always connected love and safety with. He was your boyfriend, your spoiling and loving partner. He had of course his moments where he was a bit harder to endure. When he became a bit more pervy for example. Or when he suddenly became a bit hotheaded. Leorio was a bit of a bomb when it came to other people being near you. Damn, this man could curse and yell if he wanted too and you always needed to drag him by his ear back to calm him down. But everyone had their flaws, right? And overall he was just very sweet for you. Often buying you flowers or chocolate to remind you that you were loved. Another thing that had made you fallen in love with him was his dream, his passion to become a doctor and save the life of people who hadn’t enough money to pay for proper treatment. It was in your opinion a great thing to work for. And hard working Leorio did, spending a good amount of time with studying and memorizing stuff for upcoming exams. And you tried to support him as good as possible, often bringing him snacks or helping him sorting the notes he took. You needed to repay his love somehow. You felt like you owed him that. Leorio often told you that you had already did enough by accepting him and that he owed you everything, but you didn’t let this answer count. It was your job to watch a bit out for him. Especially if he had one of his infamous outbursts. You needed to make sure that he didn’t do something stupid.

But you had never asked yourself what would actually happen if he should really lose his temper. And you had never wanted to think about it. Leorio was a hothead, but not necessarily a really violent one. That was at least what you had always thought. But everyone had their flaws. You, your parents, friends, people in the city, everyone. Including him. Some were small flaws, easily to overlook. But what happens if you discover a flaw, so huge that it can change your view on the person? And what if the person is someone you love with all your heart? What then? Do you start avoiding them? Or do you try to work it out because you love the person very much? What was the right choice in such a situation? Was there even a right or wrong in such a scenario? You had never thought about what would you do, you had never expected to ever be in such a situation. But even if you would have given it much thought before, would you be still be determined in your opinion you would have thought to be the right one. Or would your mind have started to waver in view of this situation? In the end it wouldn’t have stopped you from being torn apart between the screaming feeling of betrayal and disappointment and the whispering thoughts of forgiving and giving him a chance again. These thoughts were the bullets and yet the cure to your aching heart. And all because of him.

“I’m so sorry (y/n)! I’m so sorry that you had to witness this! I should have been more careful with this!”, Leorio apologized over and over again, walking panicked around in circles and pulling frustrated on his hair. Dear god, he was such an idiot!! He should have planned this more through instead of walking blindly into this situation! But he had anger and impatience letting cloud his judgement and had entered the fight blindly. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! And now you had seen everything. Leorio himself had somewhat sobered up when suddenly hearing his name being softly called, your beautiful voice trembling with fear. And he had felt like dying out of shame then and there. How could he have been so cruel to let you see this, witnessing how he beat up some guy you had never seen before. He had been so brutal with it, but had sobered up the moment he had layer eyes on you, seeing your wide eyes and quivering lip, taking cautious steps back. What had he been supposed to say in that moment? Nothing could have helped you in that moment, not even the fact that he had received informations from Killua that this man had been known in criminal places for capturing and selling people, focusing on pretty women and handsome men to have a better chance selling them. And he had recently taken an eye on you, wanting to grab you and a few other targets he had found in this city. And Leorio would have never let this happen. There could have been other options, but this guy had just happen to run into the already seething him on the way back. And Leorio had lost his temper in that moment.

You stared with huge eyes at the man in front of you, not really realizing him. He looked familiar yet also so unknown to you. Was that really your Leorio? Was this the same man you had often found sleeping with his face on one of his books, drooling all over it in the process? Was this the same man who had so often gifted you flowers and chocolates? Was this the same Leorio you knew? Or was he someone else? You didn’t know anymore what to think. Who was that guy in front of you? Listening to him explaining why he had done what he had done hadn’t really helped you either. It had just been excuses. Excuses with which he had tried to talk himself out of the situation, trying to prevent you from feeling scared of him. If that had been the goal you felt bad to tell him that he had failed. You were afraid, but not nearly as much as you were disappointed. You had thought that you had known him better. Wait. Were you disappointed in yourself? It looked like it. That didn’t seem right. You should feel anything, but self-blame in this situation. But you couldn’t help it. You had thought that you had known him better than this. But in reality you hadn’t known anything about him. He had fooled you with his sweet acts. And you moron had fallen for it. Love really made someone blind.

“Goddamn it! (y/n)! Please say something! Curse at me! Scream at me! Give me a punch if it helps you! But don’t just sit there and give me this look!” You couldn’t. You didn’t have the energy to do it. But most of all you didn’t have the heart. Not the heart to hurt him more than he already was. How could you if he was looking at you with such a heartbreaking look in his eyes at you? How were you supposed to hate someone who meant so much to you? You just couldn’t. But you also couldn’t bring yourself to just forgive him. To be honest, you didn’t know how to feel or what to do. That was why you chose to stay passive for now. With time an answer would eventually come to you. That’s what you hoped at least. Time would show if you would have to leave him or be able to stay with him. But for now you needed to ask him something. Something that might have an influence on your decision and might speed or slow the process down, depending on what he would answer you. And you were afraid of that. Afraid of hearing the wrong answer. Afraid of needing to make a decision that would hurt your heart and would break your already damaged image of him. But you knew that sometimes people needed to make a decision that would break their heart, but heal their soul. Love had always been a double-edged sword and it would always be. The more you loved the more it would hurt. But sometimes such pain was needed in order to make you wiser and see the world more clear. Some lessons were learned best through pain.

“Leorio?” Your voice sounded soft and quiet and if it wouldn’t have been for the already tormenting silence Leorio wouldn’t have been able to hear you. “Would you do something like this again? I understand that in some situations violence can’t be avoided. It’ll never be. But you just lost it when seeing that guy on the streets and dragged him in an alley to beat him up. Do you think that you would do something like this again? I mean getting so violent and beating someone up whilst being fully aware that they’re other ways to do it. You knew what you were doing was wrong...Right?” Leorio clearly heard the slight tremble in your voice when you said the last word. Actually he hadn’t thought about the consequences. The only thing he had wanted to do was getting that bastard to stay away from you. And when that man had started to call you nasty names and what a good plaything you would be for others he had completely lost it. Deep down he had known that there were other ways to solve this. But he hadn’t been able to hold back in that moment. How could he if he had the object of anger and problems right in front of him? And as soon as he had started he hadn’t even thought about stopping. Something...Something about smashing that guy over and over again had given him a satisfying feeling which had at first scared him a bit. He shouldn’t feel such things whilst beating someone up. But on the other hand he knew that this guy would only learn his lesson through this. Leorio knew people like him, knew their way of thinking. They would instantly run away and avoid someone when knowing that they didn’t have the upper hand. People like him were cowards who only pretended to be strong, but show them that you’re stronger and they would beg for mercy on their knees.

Leorio had a conflicted look on his face, gazing over your slightly shaking form. He knew that he wanted to protect you. He had to! As long as you reminded unharmed he was ready to go far. He couldn’t let someone take you away from him. Not if he had the power to stop whatever harm might come your way from touching you. And...And if that meant having to be a bit more vicious in certain situations then so be it. He knew that this wouldn’t make you happy. You were so precious and also so nonviolent. It was no wonder that you couldn’t handle this well. But that’s why he had to be there for you. He had promised you the day you had accepted his confession that he would always protect you and be there for you. And there was no chance that he would ever break that promise to you. He let out a exhausted sigh, giving you a almost helpless look. And from the way a shadow crossed your eyes he knew that you knew what his decision was. “I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.” You blinked slowly, turning your gaze to your toes. “I see...” Love hurt a lot you noticed. It was funny how love could hurt so much and yet so many people searched for it. And it was also always fascinating how less people really knew about others as they claimed to know. Every person had their flaw. But would you be able to overlook this one?

[anicocat]

I really tried to enjoy the season and look at the bright side of things because this its almost the end, right? i should enjoy it a last time before its over. i still feel really bitter and upset most of the times tho. this is not what i pictured as the final season at all. i'm just sad.

Hello! Sorry for the late reply!! I'm so sorry you feel this way :( Hahah, you know, since S5 my emotions have been as stable as a glass of water in a roller coaster, so I feel you!! There are days where I try to look at the bright day of things and I realize that:

We had lots of beautiful clips with Sobbe in wtFOCKDOWN. All this content was bizarre and funny in a really really good way no other Evak remake had.

With all his lockdown walks and video calls, his S4/S5 clips and his pictures, Sander now has a lot more of screen time/photos than the original Even and maybe even more than other Evens. We're very lucky just for this.

Seeing the way they basically ruined the girl squad's friendship and Zoë, Amber and Luca characters beyond recognition or fixing, I'm just glad Robbe and Sander characters are still awesome, engaging and authentic as ever. They're flawed ofc, but it's still them not some strangers.

Sobbe is one of the most stable, solid relationships in the whole SKAM universe along with Davenzi and Evak, so that's a BIG win because we know wtFOCK takes the drama to a whole new level. We basically dodged a bullet 💀!

But there are other days when I think that:

I really wanted to see more sides of Sander. I was so curious to learn more about his past, his friends and the way he interacts with other people besides Robbe. There's a lot of mysteries around him that we're never going to unveil.

It's been a whole year since wtFOCKDOWN so all our knowledge about Robbe (and most of characters) is pretty much outdated despite the fact the series is still ongoing. What are his plans for the future? Is filming a hobby or something serious? How's it going with his family? His relationship with Sander? Do they have plans together or are they just living minute by minute?

Robbe's one of the most featured characters all the way thru S1-wtFOCKDOWN, and at some degree S4. In the final season he's only been featured twice, so I would expect that after three years we can have a good, satisfying closure to his high school journey.

I really wanted to see Robbe and Yasmina make a really beautiful bond. They had a really good chemistry and both have similar personalities. I really liked what they did with Sana and Martino in SKAM Italy and I wanted to see something similar in wtFOCK.

Since dic 2019 and until april 2021 I had pretty solid, safe expectations about the scenes I was going to see with Sobbe in Yasmina's season. Evak had them, Niccotino had them, Elu had them, Crisana had them... so it's natural we also anticipated Sobbe's scenes, right? That's a whole year and a half of waiting and feeling excited... for nothing!! I thought only Davenzi would be the unlucky couple (kind of, because they had a few nice scenes anyway), but now we're in the same unlucky team (so far) hahah. Some days I'm good, but some other days I still feel upset whenever I think about this. It's hard to let go after so long.

The season/series is nearing its end (we only have left three eps with plotline) so I've also been thinking a lot about the way I experienced the 6 episodes of the season. I really tried to enjoy it like you, and I somewhat enjoyed it thanks to the amazing Yasmina/Younes chemistry, but it's true I felt really upset/disappointed most of the time. Since it's the final season, I felt guilty but I also reminded myself that I have very valid, solid reasons to be upset.

A lot of people all the way thru the season tried to guilt-trip other fans for being negative, looked down at them for wishing Sobbe scenes in a Sana season or called them dramatic/ridiculous because we weren't seeing any signs of the Sobbe subplot (that in the end didn't even happen) 🤣 But we actually had every right to feel upset from the start because the signs were always there, signs that this would be another S4 2.0 (in terms of pacing, characterization, etc. I know Yasmina's journey can't be compared to Kato's... whatever she experienced.)

There's nothing that can be done now tho, and it's time we to give more weight to all the positive reasons why Sobbe's absence in S5 is good. And I'm now preparing to move on from this mess and keep treasuring the wtFOCK pre-S4 that I still love. Thankfully I didn't listen to haters/trolls telling me to shut up, so I was able to vent and express my anger, say everything I wanted to say and talk with a lot of people even if unfortunately I wasn't able to answer every single ask (I'm so sorry about this btw 🥺). I'll finish the season without regrets!!! I experienced it in a very honest way and I didn't force me do to anything, you know? I didn't force me to be positive because in the end I knew that my positivity would make feel more frustrated since I would know it wasn't genuine. I also noticed and appreciated a lot of things in previous seasons I wasn't actually appreciating, so it was good evenif it was bad haha 🙂I think i love S3 and wtFOCKDOWN more than ever and I'm just really happy. I hope you can be happy again or at least feel calm soon too.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 11.5

What Does a Moth Sound Like?

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time: the party returned to Barley to deal with a few loose ends while their hired muscle dealt with the biggest, scaliest loose end. Between that session and the next, we had a brief mini-session to wrap up one of said ends we'd left unwrapped- what exactly is up with the Kanthalga family?

(Also included: a conversational omake between Looseleaf and Saelhen, pictured courtesy of @drazelic, Looseleaf's player.)

After their encounter with Kensa, Oyobi tries to talk the party into going to the tower and helping the Deathseekers kill the dragon. Her brilliant plan of "stab it in the brain before it can cast any spells" has some flaws, though, and they patiently explain the plan's many flaws and strike a blow against Oyobi's sense of invincibility.

They also ask Malath a few questions, trying to get to the bottom of her odd discomfort with the idea of the dragon as a culprit and the presence of Deathseekers.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "When we spoke before, you asked us whether the dragon was green. I regret that I still cannot answer, as I have not seen it, or heard any news on the topic from the deathseekers. But you seemed... concerned that it might be a green dragon. Is there any reason that such a dragon might pose a particular threat to your town?" Benedict I. (GM): "Mmm. I don't know if you've heard, but... going on thirty years ago, there was a town to the east called Grain." "It was attacked by a green dragon, and the elders... as the dragon had words with them, they had to be remanded to the custody of their gods." Looseleaf: Oooh, that is harsh. Benedict I. (GM): "In the ensuing chaos, the miscreants who now inhabit Wheat set fire to the town and fled further east." "The survivors of the disaster fled west, and established Barley here." "If that same dragon still has its sights on our people, we could be in grave danger." "We refused to submit once, and it very nearly destroyed us."

As far as they can tell from their questioning, Malath isn't hiding any dark secret- she's just sort of a control freak, who's nervous that her control over the people might slip. Plus she's worried that if the dragon is provoked and comes to town, she- as the current elder in charge- might suffer the same fate as Grain's elders.

Saelhen... isn't satisfied with this. Something seems wrong about Malath Kanthalga- Thalath wouldn't try to enlist their help rescuing Kensa for no reason. She takes the party to the general store, in hopes of catching Kensa on her nightly delivery.

Kensa arrives as expected, but when she sees Saelhen there, she makes her delivery and tries to leave, rather than sit at the loom as is her custom. She seems afraid of Saelhen.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I don't intend to keep you from your work. Though I did have a question I wanted to ask you, dear. If you'll permit me one." Kensa Kanthalga: "...A question?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Of a sensitive nature, possibly. Something vouchsafed to me by... someone you might know." Kensa Kanthalga: She looks less afraid and more confused, now. And after thinking a moment... "...oh." She actually looks a little angry, now. "That makes sense." "He sent you, didn't he?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Okay, the conclusions she's reached here... may or may not be correct! "Under what I am starting to think may have been false pretenses." Kensa Kanthalga: "What did he tell you? Did he say I was being brainwashed?" "I don't need to be rescued from my duty by someone who abandoned his!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "More a very general concern for your person than anything --" Ah, there's the word that raises her hackles, duty.

Having somewhat misread the situation, Saelhen is unpleasantly surprised to find that Kensa seems just as devoted to the teachings of Diamode as Malath is, and has no interest in fleeing. She seems contemptuous of her older brother on the basis that, uh...

Well, the Goddess of Family, who's all about having kids and living a very prescribed sort of life path inside strict gender roles, is- as might be unsurprising- a bit of a homophobe. The party never met Thalath's boyfriend (who works the night shift at Wheatley Inn- they never stayed the night there), but there are several reasons why the place isn't popular with the locals.

Saelhen is caught kind of flat-footed here- she can tell something's still not quite right, but she doesn't have the kind of cultural context to unravel this level of baggage.

Luckily, she brought along an ersatz cleric of Diamode, and so... Orluthe is able to spot the missing piece of the puzzle.

Orluthe Chokorov: Orluthe, in the back, has been looking increasingly uncomfortable. So far, he's had his stole and cap stowed away, so as not to be recognized as a cleric of Diamode. He's now taking them out and putting them on. "Hey, um, miss?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen... legitimately forgot he had those. Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa turns and notices him- possibly for the first time. "Oh, ah- Mr., um..." Orluthe Chokorov: "Chokorov," he says. "I'm..." He holds up a hand, and points at a tiny circular scar around his pinky finger. "You have one of these, right?" Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa looks down at her hand, and you can see- yes, she has a matching scar. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Well. That's novel information about Orluthe. Religion check to... I mean, we know the finger-cutting thing. I guess a "what does this mean, it's not like these two have disowned anyone" check. 13 - RELIGION (2) Benedict I. (GM): With a 13, you know that only a parent needs to cut off their finger- but you're not sure what happens with sibling relationships. This might be something related- like you don't have to cut your finger off all the way? Some sort of signifier that the connection has been severed, though you don't know the finer doctrinal points. Orluthe Chokorov: "My older sister," he says. "Four years ago. We all had to get the mark." Kensa Kanthalga: "Wait, but..." Orluthe Chokorov: "You didn't want that to happen to you, too, right?" "You can't stand up to a power like that. You'd never win, right? If I tried to defend my sister, my parents would have two missing fingers." "You have to pretend, right?" Kensa Kanthalga: "Why... no, it's... I really...!" Orluthe Chokorov: "Feels that way, doesn't it? For a long time." Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa looks terrified- like for the first time, someone's seen right through her. Orluthe Chokorov:"It's not a betrayal of your family- of your duty- to... have love." "There's nothing in Diamode's teachings about the mark, you know? Neither of us had to take it." Saelhen du Fishercrown: ...well. That's a... new consideration. Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa's on the verge of tears, looking like she's about to bolt. "N-no, I- I really... want to... I have to..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen is right back to Steal This Child Town. "...wait, do you seriously mean that the finger-cutting thing came after the scripture?" Orluthe Chokorov: Orluthe nods. "I mean, the finger-cutting is... it's a punishment. You're not supposed to disown your children. It's not like you can do it and then you lose the finger and then you're all square and it's fine." "And when parents scar their kids' fingers to make them share in a punishment for a sin they didn't commit... Diamode doesn't want that." "I should know," he says, gesturing to his vestments. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...well. Thank you, Orluthe." Saelhen's face is hard. "I was previously under the impression that I had misunderstood a culture which is strange to me." "But now it sounds as if... I haven't, quite." Kensa Kanthalga: Kensa's makeup is starting to run. "What... what do you know? I- I wanted to... if I could've... I couldn't..." "What do you want with me?!" "I had to, okay? I have to!"

Orluthe having successfully exposed Kensa's fear and dissatisfaction with the situation, Saelhen proceeds to talk her around to trying to leave. It's pretty touch-and-go for a little bit, but Kensa's mind is made up when the party mentions that they're going to be passing through Corolos. Apparently, there's something there she really cares a lot about...?

So they're going to need a few days for Kensa to prepare to, uh, run away with a bunch of strangers. That's- this is technically kidnapping, right? This isn't something you should do in real life? This is kind of bad? Hm. Well.

-

Anyway, they've got some downtime here in Barley while the Deathseekers do their work and Kensa prepares to leave. And- well, later in the campaign, there was a flashback to this time period, so I'm going to cover that scene here.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: So: days in the past (but not many)... It's Cassie Zeishus's inn, and Saelhen is brushing up on her card tricks; she's let herself get rusty, just a bit, ever since she left... Well, since she got to Oyashio, anyway. She's cutting a borrowed deck at one of the inn's tables, downstairs, flicking cards from hand to hand, then up her giant poofy sleeves. Where's Looseleaf? Looseleaf: Probably sitting around outside, doing her whole 'fix-things-up' gimmick! After the early burst of things-to-fix, though, business has dried up a little. There's just not that many broken things left to fix that people need help with after a while! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen is... bored, she decides, for a reason. She can't evaluate how impressive her card tricks/cheating techniques are without a proper audience! She knows how they work already! So she leans out the door. "How goes the repair work?" Looseleaf: "It isnnnnn't," Looseleaf says back. "I think that there's not much repair work left in Barley at all!" "I've done too good a job and my business has dried up. This is why you never peddle perfect cures, innit." Abruptly, she gets up from the carpet she'd gotten Orluthe to roll out for her- the one from Lumiere's tower. "Boooored." She rolls it up. "I demand entertainment."

Saelhen decides to entertain Looseleaf by performing a card trick... and proceeds to roll a natural 1 on her sleight of hand check. She completely fucks it up, and Looseleaf- who had to be convinced to put money on the wager- earns herself a silver piece.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I lost the card." "So I'm going to have to replace that for Cassie. On account of her deck being a card short." "Your card, specifically." Looseleaf: "Hhhhokay." "Wow, you're actually serious, aren't you." "I thought this was still part of the bit, but, if you're serious, you know the card's on the underside of your shoe, right?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I just want to reassure you that I'm good at this, Looseleaf --" Looseleaf: "I thought you'd stepped on it because, y'know, part of the trick." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "No, I already checked there --" Saelhen finds the Hierophant stuck to her instep. There's a beat. Then she blushes furiously, in what looks like actual mortification. "Oh damn it." "I haven't done that since I was sixteen, what the hell..." Looseleaf: Looseleaf laughs. It doesn't sound like her usual laugh, and you can only tell it's a laugh because she's bowled over laughing. The actual sound of the laughter sounds like- trilling chirps with a hint of vibration, a distinctly insectile sound. "Oh gods," she says while somehow still laughing simultaneously, "that was- I'm so sorry about how much I'm laughing, Saelhen-" She's still moth-laughing. "Please understand that your status is no way diminished in my eyes and you are still every bit as much of the cool conwoman you always were in my eyes- oh my gods I'm going to die laughing."

Saelhen, intrigued, attempts to use her preternatural skill at impressions to try and copy the laughter, which Looseleaf finds freaky-deaky.

Looseleaf: "Yeah, if you really want to imitate mothspeech what you actually need are the standard instruments. Your throats are not cut out for the kinds of vibes we naturally talk with." "No offense- your throats are perfectly nice, I mean." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I'm aware my throat is lovely." "What do you mean, standard instruments? Some kind of... pipe, or flute, or something?" Looseleaf: "The Standard Instruments," she says, this time with an intonation so that Saelhen can tell it's words with Capitalized Letters, "are... sort of like a flute, yeah, except instead of working like a woodwind it's more like, a bunch of little flutes with flaps of springy metal at the end, so when you blow through the flute the flaps vibrate and you get a sound that's way closer to the range of sounds we make, and it doesn't hurt your throat nearly as much. The Standard Instruments for imitation mothspeech." "Alternatively, if you knew spirit magic, we could have just taken you to the Archive of the Ever-Living Voice, but that's not really an option..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen attempts to imagine this. "So, ten harmonicas glued together." Looseleaf: "Yeah pretty much." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...that last comment sounded alarmingly practical, in its concerns, Looseleaf." "Are you proposing to teach me, here?" Looseleaf: "How dare you imply that I would ever let slip the magical secrets of my people to an outsider who knows nothing of our ways or our culture why I am absolutely offended and ha ha I'm just messing around." "If you want to learn mothspeech," Looseleaf hesitates for a moment. "...Well, we should get started by trying to put together, as you put it, ten harmonicas!" "...Does this town have harmonicas?" Benedict I. (GM): This town totally has harmonicas.

So it looks like Looseleaf is going to be teaching Saelhen the language of the mothfolk!

Looseleaf hesitates, though. "...You know, learning mothspeech is- well, it's not likely to be useful, you know?" "There's, like, no chance you're ever going to get to really put it into use with anybody other than me." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...it is a bit obscure, isn't it?" Saelhen looks contemplative for a moment... then cracks a grin. "Which means that absolutely no one will know when I insult them." "Beyond their range of hearing, even! Oh that'll be such an easy way to blow off steam, dear, I love it."

After a shopping trip to assemble the device that substitutes for having moth mouthparts, they have a nice time bonding over linguistics. Building the thing is tricky, but... Saelhen gets a good roll!

Looseleaf:"...Y'know, trying to reverse-engineer an instrument just from how you saw it once is... more difficult than I thought it would be." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen expertly pulls two pieces together. "This and this, yes?" Looseleaf: "Yeah, make sure you leave extra length on the tubes- I don't know exactly how long they have to be so we might have to cut them down a little to fit... The day continues. Looseleaf teaches Saelhen a whole plethora of fun insults in mothspeech. Things like, "You must have had a hole in your cocoon while you were pupating, because your brain clearly leaked out during your metamorphosis." "Remind me what instar you are again?" And, her favorite of all, a surprisingly terse noun that apparently translates to "immature child who sticks two feathers on their forehead and thinks that means they have the antennae of an adult."

Saelhen manages to nail the pronunciation pretty quickly, and adds Mothfolk to her list of languages.

The conversation turns to Elvish (Looseleaf is shocked to learn that Oyobi has been being rude this entire time!), and Saelhen's upbringing in Kanzentokai.

Looseleaf is shocked by Saelhen's quick mastery of the language- and of Tabaxi, and Halfling, which are apparently languages she speaks.

Eventually, Looseleaf decides to make a wager with Saelhen. The stakes: if Looseleaf can fool Saelhen with a card trick of her own, Saelhen has to teach her Thieves' Cant. If she loses, she'll have to tell Saelhen how she did the trick- a standard "is this your card" situation.

Saelhen gets a 21, and Looseleaf then has to explain that she was able to track the card via... spirit-linking. Which she then has to explain she's been doing to the bracer.

Looseleaf: "I'm trying to use this as a, uh, lighthearted segue, to confess to the fact that I've soooorta actually had a tracking magic thing set on you, like, since we met." "I'm hoping that's not, un- discomforting for you, since you said, you liked the whole suspicion thing I had?" "But, yeah, uh, I was totally suspicious of you the whole time, and my first response to seeing someone I pegged as a conwoman trying to con the university out of a magic item was, to, put a tracker on the magic item." "Which is that bracer. I know the position of that bracer, at all times, as long as it's within ten miles of me; further than that, and I know the direction it is relative to me." "I'm coming clean because- well, I guess, we're friends now actually, and you should know about the fact that I'm technically tracking your movements. And also because I want to give you the option to tell me to fuck off with that shit, if you want to." "I think that keeping the tracker's still a good idea, on a practical level, though, because of the, uh, use-case, where, a scary badguy chops your arm off to take the bracer, like that way we could still get your arm back and get the bracer back and I'm also rambling because I'm nervous that this is the end of our friendship aha." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen has gone very still. Like the hackles-up bristling from earlier, except... a lot less movement. "......" Looseleaf: "Look, if you want me to turn it off I'll turn it off!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: And then she very deliberately settles back into motion, with barely even a little bit of shaking hands! Deep deep breath. "...you make a good point. "About the, bracer tracking." "I am..." "Fine, with it." Looseleaf: "Iiii am not convinced you are fine. You seem like you are in fact very emotionally distraught about it," Looseleaf says with caution. "I could... put a tracker on something that's not the bracer, for you to hold, of your own volition?" "Really, at this point, I'm less scared of you running off with the bracer, and more scared of something happening to you because of the bracer." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...with a condition." "Which is that you do not tell anyone that you can track things, or, if you have to reveal your hand, that you don't tell anyone that you can find me." Looseleaf: "...You don't want to be found, by... something or someone that wants to find you?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "In general, no." "...I'll tie something around the bracer. Or place a coin between my skin and its surface, or something. You can track that." Looseleaf: "Okay. I'll try my best to not tell anybody about my ability to find you. Except unless I have very good reason to believe that, I dunno, a dragon has abducted you and if I don't find help for you then you're dead, or something like that. Is that fine?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "That would be fine, thank you. And I forgive you for... the initial... situation."

It seems... Saelhen really doesn't want to be found, by someone. I wonder who?

Still, the two of them manage to talk the issue over like adults, and grow closer as friends- so that means everything is probably fine, there's no secrets anymore, and absolutely nothing else is going to go wrong in the town of Barley.

NEXT TIME: END OF DAYS!!! HOMICIDAL INTENT!!! THE SINISTER MACHINATIONS OF THE SHADOW-MAYOR OF WHEAT!!!

[kaitoxen]

A Tiny Star in the Horizon

Abigail Christine G. Emam

I am like a tiny star. A tiny star that can't be visible sometimes. A tiny star that only few people will notice and a tiny star that doesn't matter to anyone. But, do that really matter? How big the star is, how small the star is?

Well, I compared myself to a tiny star because in my 15 years of existence, I am not able to see my worth. I am not satisfied with my achievements and I want to do more and be better. I want my existence to be somewhat special.

I am a boring person. My life is all about studying, reading my favorite books, playing games, watching anime and reading mangas. Unlike the others, I have no interest in sports. I also have no sense of humor. I sometimes not interpret jokes as it should. I love deep talks, scientific explanation, creepy facts and mysteries. I found it enjoyable but most people beside me say that it was too boring.

Unlike the other girls, I do not value fashion that much. I am not conscious about what will I wear and I don't worry what do others think of me. I don't even know how to put on a make up or some foundation in my face. I spend most of my money into art materials and books.

Yes, I am a bookworm and probably you can call me a nerd. Not because I wear a big framed eye glasses or because I don't have any interest in fashion, but because I love logic and books that much! When I have my free time, I can finish a 1 novel a day. I know it isn't amazing because it's common but I'm really proud of it.

Aside from reading books, I write too. I am not that good in writing, I have so many flaws in terms of it. I loved writing because when I am not satisfied of with the story I've read, I will make my own version. I really love dreaming and imagining. In order to not forget what I've imagined, I will get a pen and a paper to write it. I am willing to learn more tips about writing because it helped me a lot!

Now that I've mentioned I love dreaming and imagining—let me tell you a secret. I do luucid dreaming! Lucid dreaming is a form of dream which you are conscious and aware that you're dreaming, in that way, you can control your own dream. That is the best part of my sleeping time! But, I think, I've gone out of control because I tried sleeping during classes too. My bad!

My spirit animal is a cat. I love sleeping just like the hobbies of a cat. Cats are very adorable and sweet. Everytime I see a cat on a road, I pet it.

Aside from sleeping, dreaming, and writing, I have other talents too. I love arts---different forms of arts. I really enjoy our art class.

I also study different languages. I am a multilingual. I speak several languages and understand them. When I was 10 years old, I learned basic spanish and few of french words. When I reached 12 years old, I learned few words of hangul. In my current age, I'm still learning and studying different languages. I also learned Nihonggo by watching anime.

I am not also interested in books, cats, anime and games but I am also interested in the shades of pink. I may not that good in terms of fashion but the addiction in the shade of pink reminds me that I'm still a girl. I loved the flavor strawberry because it has the shade of pink.

If we're going to talk about my fortune stuffs. My horoscope is Scorpio since I was born on 12th of November. I am year of the monkey because I was born in the year of 2004. My birthstone is topaz. My lucky number is either 4 and 12.

Anyway, this is the most important thing of all. My name is derived from the bible. Abigail is David's third wife who's very intellegent and beautiful. While my second name, Christine is derived from the term Christian which means faithful to Christ and a follower of Him. The name suits me. I have a brother and his first name is Mikhail which means Gift from God in hebrew. His second name is Angelo, which means an angel. His name suits him well.

The only family that remained to me is my brother. Though life is incomplete, it doesn't bother me. I am happy and still pursuing my dream. I dream to be a lawyer and to be a writer as a part time job.

Just like a tiny star, I will still shine, though may not be bright but what matters is that there's still a light within me. Some people may not notice my worth, but I do believe in those people whom I'm visible with.

[theangrypokemaniac]

Sinnoh has massive flaws as an era, although it's starting to feel like the good old days compared to the present piss-poor offerings.

The major drawback is the amount of 'recurring characters', ones not good enough to be in it fully, but inflicted upon us nevertheless.

I did care about Ash. I did care about Team Rocket.

I was prepared to care about The Misty Replacement, as in the girl shipped with Ash.

I was prepared to care about The Brock Replacement, that is the older brother figure who does all the cooking, carries the medicine, and knows about Pokémon.

I don't give a toss about extras who outstay their welcome.

Hoenn only had Drew and Harley. What was wrong with that?

There are just too bloody many.

Why does Dawn require so many opponents, as if she's of the greatest importance? Why won't Jessie suffice?

I accept the necessity of Paul as The Rival, and we were at least permitted to resent him initially, before the writers fanboy'd like there was no tomorrow.

I admit I liked two of them. They therefore featured the least.

Typical.

Nando

The Blondel of Iberia

A softly-spoken, raven-locked troubadour, roaming the many pathways of life, playing his songs for those weary travellers he encounters on the road.

He's wearing a cloak! The finest use of material to ever be invented!

All this ethereal grace considering the dub lumbered him with the most appallingly unsuitable name possible.

It could've been Raphael, or Dante, or Leonardo.

Oh no, let's name him after a restaurant chain. That adds gravitas.

His lyre pays tribute to Mew, because Nando knows she's The Rarest Of All Pokémon, thus refuses to be impressed by any deformed horse like Arceus throwing its weight around.

Damn straight.

Ursula

A pretty girl with lovely clothes and the spark of a proper personality.

You're not wanted round these parts, love.

I have no particular animosity towards Dawn, but it irritates me how the world revolves around her whims, where if she's lost in the woods, it's a major disaster, and if an attack heads in her direction, she must be protected in case she shatters.

It makes a refreshing change to find someone firmly inoculated against the lures of the temptress.

Also, alongside Ursula from Dinosaur King (the real Jessie), I'm glad of any attempt to reclaim that name, considering most of my generation, upon hearing it, think only about evil old octopus women.

As for the rest?

It's that bad I prefer the Unova bunch to these.

Reggie

Reggie is even more of a knob than Paul. As above, being Ash's enemy meant that, if only by narrative, he was intended to be somewhat disliked.

Not Reginald. No, he's the kind one.

Oh really?

When Ash and Paul have their showdown, Reg starts wittering that it's just as well Chimchar took up with Ash, since he wasn't suited to Paul's 'battle style'.

Battle style.

Is the what he calls mental and physical cruelty?

In Reg's amoral cesspit of a mind, there is no right and wrong, so do whatever you feel.

Reggie is quite aware of how his brother tortures Pokémon, and not only is he unconcerned, he excuses it with euphemism, hoping the audience will obligingly forget too.

What's more, he implies it's Chimchar's fault for not pulling his weight, and Paul abandoning him was the compassionate thing to do.

Cynthia

Suffering severe Bridge Nose Syndrome.

She may be Champion, but I don't remember Lance turning up all the time where he wasn't wanted.

She doesn't even use her influence properly. Rather than give it straight to Paul, order him to shape up and stop spanking the monkey, she fannies about with her cod mysticism, emptily preaching about how Ash and Paul are spiritually linked, with magical, beeyewteefull events taking form just because they met.

That's right, don't bother about Paul clearly being a psychopath, for 'tis ART!

It's the same as trying to convince me that Ash, Dawn and Brock were the Divine Trio because they all saw Something Nasty In The Lake District, as if they have an intrinsic bond foretold in ancient prophecy.

The writers pull this knowing two thirds of the Holy Trinity, plus Paul the Fallen Angel, will be leaving, at which point we'll be expected to stop being overawed at the great majesty they all apparently possess and transfer allegiance to their usurpers.

What's the point?

Angie

Yet another smackhead from that lunatic stare.

What shining genius decided giving all the characters contracted pupils was a good idea?

She looks like one of those kids whose parents dealt with nits the traditional way:

Shaving the entire head and painting it purple.

A barnet resembling privet hacked at by a paralytic gardener before he conked out.

I've seen her arc three or four times, and I still remember nothing about her, except for the amazing skill she possesses to make Ash sneeze on command from a distance.

Conway

One word: nonce.

A clichéd weirdo fitting into Pokémon's Four-Eyed Freaks fixation, where anyone with a slight visual impairment is a weedy, know-it-all bastard or on a register.

Oh yes, and this lad comes with hidden delights, because his glasses gleam like a giant cockroach, just in case he wasn't creepy enough.

Zoey

The human black hole. Has the incredible ability to suck all the joy out of a room just by appearing. A personage of absolute lead.

Too nice and over familiar, lacking a single detectable personality trait.

Bland, empty, and with the charisma of vomit-sodden cardboard.

Sinnoh is a prolonged saga as it is, padded with nonentities like her and Kenny.

Alright, episodes must be devoted to Dawn's Contest career, however tiresome it is, but why exactly do we need any about Zoey and Kenny? Why should we care?

Every time I sat through a competition Dawn lost, I resented that she was no further along on her quest, equating to another episode eaten away by this shallow, blackened hymn to superficiality.

Compare this indulgent treatment to the sneering disrespect shown to Jessie, an actual main character, who not only had to win her Ribbons practically off screen, but the writers delighted in hammering home how worthless she was in only scraping into the Grand Festival because Princess Salvia took pity on the deluded wretch.

They favour their own inventions over the original cast, then dump 'em as soon as the next generation arrives, so how could they ever matter if even the creators eagerly cast them aside?

After all the effort on my part to put up with the entire witless farce, Zoey beats Dawn in the finals!

Why?!

I understood the unspoken law of Ash not being allowed to win a League until the very last series, for fear whatever came after would be anticlimactic, but why should this deadening failure apply to May and Dawn?

By the culmination of the Contest rigmarole, it's obvious they'll be making their exit for the next region's Girl, so why couldn't either bid farewell to the fans with a victory?

Why must they be incompetent too?

Even if achieving their dream dampened any hunger to carry on, they're departing anyway, so what difference does it make?

At least Ash will continue, but for May and Dawn, it's the end.

How could any fan be satisfied with a smarmy vacuum of a creature like Zoey succeeding instead?

Barry

Eyes of molten evil.

The second-worst character ever created (Iris is top of the ranks), Barry is a smug, arrogant, screeching dweeb jabbering his oh-so endearing catchphrase about fining anyone who slightly irks him, so sure is he that his feelings should come above everyone else's

He truly believes he has a God-given entitlement to demand lesser lifeforms should arrange themselves to suit his pleasure, that they are morally compelled to shield him from  meagre inconvenience.

Twat.

Knocking the little geck out of the League was the most noble thing Paul ever did. It practically redeems him.

This is what I cannot comprehend:

Ursula is openly conceited, rude to Dawn, and brags about her own excellence even after losing.

We're asked to dislike her.

Barry slags Ash off constantly, is convinced of his own divinity, and jeers at Team Rocket.

We're supposed to see him as a 'good guy' and welcome his arrival.

Why? Are Ash and Team Rocket fair game, but offending Saint Dawn's intolerable?

Again, it astounds me how temporary, region-specific stars seem to count for more than those who've been here since the beginning.

Whilst they're here, that is. Once gone, you wouldn't know they'd existed.

Kenny

He wears a matador outfit to compete.

It's a crying shame Tauros was never given the opportunity to gore him.

As usual, it's Piplup I blame.

Each generation likes to flaunt the starter Pokémon, presumably in the hope of flogging more games, that's why Ash usually catches all three, or they're spread out amongst his friends.

It's about time Team Rocket had one.

Can't do that, they only appear five times per series now.

Piplup is a whiny attention whore who refuses to evolve. In consequence, he can't advertise the next stages in the evolution chain, so we have to keep seeing Barry and Kenny instead, that's why Empoleon and Prinplup are always walking about.

This equates to three characters having the same Pokémon, albeit in different incarnations.

There's variety.

However, Kenny's true purpose is much more grim than that.

Fans will ship Ash with The Girl, a useless endeavour when it's destined to come to nothing when she's kicked out.

In Hoenn and Sinnoh, an effort was made to wean shippers off in preparation for the upcoming split, so alternative suitors were introduced, with the girls effectively pushed on to them.

May got Drew.

I don't mind that. He had some refinements.

Dawn got Kenny.

...

What, you want me to cheer for such a revolting couple?

Have I not suffered enough?

What unpardonable crime did Dawn do to deserve such a horrible fate?

She's not a bad-looking girl. She can do better than an ugly, portly, shrunken, pie-faced cretin! 

You do this to me when Nando exists?

Sod the age gap, that never concerned anyone here.

This being the Kenny who spends four years belittling Dawn by constantly reminding her of a humiliating childhood experience, even giving her a nickname too!

Dawn is visibly distressed when he does this, but he's a fine candidate for romance?

She has to settle for a sweaty, lecherous herbert like him, who doesn't even try to atone for his unfortunate mug by being kind?

I suspect the whole Sinnoh adventure was really him wearing down her self-esteem until she believed he was the best available, wanting her to be grateful for his slobbery attentions.

It won't stop there either. He'll trap her for the rest of her life by isolating her from friends, followed by accusations of how undeserving she is of his 'love'.

Such is Dawn's lot: absent father, pushy mother, whinging penguin and abusive boyfriend.

Kenny's already a perv:

He's not looking at her face.

She knows he's not.

Ash and Pikachu have noticed an interesting feature further down.

Aipom likes it too.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN LOTS

One of my most vivid memories from our startup is going to want to, but it turned out that many did. Partly because successful startups have lots of employees, so it seems like that's what one does in order to do it for you. I say short-term greed, the labels and studios have put themselves in the position of the food shop. Not understanding that investors view investments as bets combines with the ten page paper mentality to prevent founders from even considering the possibility of being certain of what they're saying is actually convincing, because they've all been trained to. You probably only have to be a good plan. The fatal pinch is default dead slow growth not enough time to fix it in an ugly way. But when our hypothetical Blub programmer looks in the other direction, up the power continuum, however, just as you would in a program you were writing to a friend who works for a big company of mediocre ones, where bad ideas are caught by committees instead of the people that had them. And yet by the next time you need to be constantly improving both hardware and software. And of course if they continued to spam me or a network I was part of, Hostex itself would be recognized as a spam term. It would work for a while in Florence. Maybe you can't write the best-looking spreadsheet using HTML, but you can't trust your judgment about that, so ignore it.

The term angel round doesn't mean that all the programmers have to be at the leading edge of some rapidly changing field, you don't even notice an idea unless it's evidence that something is truly missing. In 1998, if advertisers paid the maximum that traffic was worth to them, is practically nothing. BackRub seemed like an inconsequential science project. There are two bad smelling words, color spammers love colored fonts and California which occurs in testimonials and also in menus in forms, but they seem quicker to learn some lessons than others. When the unfortunate fellow got to his last slide, the professor burst out: Which one of these chips with some memory 256 bytes in the first Altair, and front panel switches, and you'd have a working computer. But Lisp is a powerful language, but it fits this situation well. Are there better ways to solve them? Those ideas are so rare that you can't easily do in any other language. The number of possible connections between developers grows exponentially with the size of the group.

The reason those stimuli caused those founders to start companies was that their experiences had prepared them to notice the opportunities they represented. The first thing I would do, after checking to see if they had scored points off us. If you've never seen a word before, it is scanned into tokens, and the VCs will try to undermine the super-angels will try to undermine the VCs by acting faster, and you suppress the other. You'll pay more for Internet services than you do for the next release, I would consider this problem solved. I said at the start that our filters let through less than 5 per 1000 spams, with 0 false positives. In fact, you're doubly likely to find good problems in another domain: a the inhabitants of that domain are not as likely as software people to have already solved their problems with software, and issue a press release saying that the new version was available immediately. To some degree, it offers a way around these limitations. Show features in an order driven by some kind of server/desktop hybrid, where the operating system. Bill is, because he is one more user helping to make your design simpler. Fortunately, Web-based software you can use whatever language you want. Really?1

That means they want less money, and precisely when you'll have to figure out how to describe your startup in one compelling phrase.2 At first glance it doesn't seem there's anything to see. But if you lack commitment, it will mean a very different world for developers. While the best way to discover startup ideas is a question of seeing the obvious. Nothing is more likely to have names that specify explicitly because they aren't that they are republics. Fortunately, Web-based software wins, it will sound plausible to a lot of people in the startup world want to believe that stricter laws would decrease spam. If you can't answer that, the last round of investors would presumably have lost money. Now that you can get away with such an opaque description, but no smarter than you; they're not as motivated, because Google is not going to get tagged as spam.3

And of course if it were part of the language now, but they want a lot. When you switch to this new world. They were going to be bloated and full of duplication anyway. That's the part that really demands determination. This was roughly true. Addictive things have to be in it yet. Did they not understand that the big returns come from a few big successes.

Because PR firms tell them to. It's a live thing, running on your desktop computer, and there are companies that will get them a job; they learn it because they genuinely like to program and aren't satisfied with the languages they already know. It's when you can convince investors, and you could tell he meant it. But disappointing though it may be somewhat blurry at first.4 It might be a good thing for investors that this is a valid approach. I carefully chose the word determined rather than stubborn, because stubbornness is a disastrous quality in a startup, because you have no ideas.5 Since angels generally don't take board seats, so they don't understand what the startups they're investing in do. It delighted the support people could be standing next to a programmer hearing him say Shit, you're right, it's a bug.

The MROSD manages a collection of great walking trails off Skyline.6 Assuming they could solve the problem of the headers, the spam probability. If you want to. Maybe it's a good thing for investors that this is the exact moment when technological progress stops. Their first site was exclusively for Harvard students, it would be stupid to try the experiment and find out. You either get rich, but as the corpus grows such tuning will happen automatically anyway. At a minimum, files will be centrally available for users who want that. Whatever its flaws, the writing you find online is authentic. He plans to support himself. All the rest were working on releases, ports, and so on.

Work for a VC fund after a full partner meeting averages about 25%. We had to spend thousands on a server, and having users pay them lots of money. And the way to the extreme of doing the computations on the server. I'm trying other strategies now, but few were in 1998. VCs aren't interested in such small deals. Neither of us had ever even had what you would call a real job. Either your site is catching on, or it will fry you. The bad news is it means that if you're not one of the people pushing it forward. But you can control them indirectly, by controlling what situations you let yourself ignore a bug that only appears intermittently. If you've never seen, i. This is not just that series A rounds later. To the Blub programmer, Lisp code looks weird.

Notes

Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard, Life of Isaac Newton, p. That is the kind of intensity and dedication from programmers that they cared about users they'd just advise them to get great people.

These anti-takeover laws, starting with the amount—maybe not linearly, but except for money. If you want to be driven by people like numbers. Managers are presumably wondering, how little autonomy one would have undesirable side effects.

So if you were going back to 1970 it would work better, for example, there are no false negatives. This argument seems to have been peculiarly vulnerable—perhaps partly because so many had been transposed into your head. Here's an example of applied empathy. We didn't know ourselves which VC firms.

Now the misunderstood artist is not an associate vet you. Determination is the new economy during the war had been a waste of time on schleps, but most neighborhoods successfully resisted them.

To do this yourself. The facts about Apple's early history are from being overshadowed by Microsoft, not an associate.

Labor. Some people still get rich simply by being energetic and unscrupulous, but in fact it may be enough to become more stratified. I call it ambient thought. 8 in London, 13 in New York is where people care most about art.