#i know there's a lot of different factors and it's a layered conversation but on the other hand

[lisbonsteresa]

dumb little married idiots

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Style and Error

Summer of Bad Batch 2024 | Week 7 | Prompt: Getting a Haircut

Summary: Omega finally gets her first hairstyle change after leaving Kamino - and her brothers get a crash course in human adolescent female hairdos. POV: Hunter, Omega (Word Count: 2700)

Read on Ao3

Notes: This prompt finally convinced me to turn this headcanon into a proper fic! Also, my fic last week ended up being a LOT sadder than I had originally intended (sorry about that, all, the story just kept going that direction and I couldn't stop it), so just a heads up that this story is a lot more relaxed and fun!

            “We need to do something about your hair,” Hunter said.

            At this, Omega glanced up from the datapad from which she was dutifully studying the history of Coruscant.

            “Really, it’s fine, Hunter,” she said, absently removing her left hand from her hair to steady the datapad on her knee. Her bangs fell into her eyes, obstructing her view, and she automatically brought her hand back up to scoop the unruly hair off her forehead and hold it in place.

            Hunter shook his head even as his lips twitched into a smile. “Doesn’t your arm get tired holding your hair back all the time?”

            “Well…” Omega hesitated.

            “Hunter’s right, Omega. If nothing else, you need both hands and unobscured vision to handle your energy bow properly,” Echo said firmly as he entered the Marauder, having apparently heard the conversation from outside where he had been double checking the ship’s landing gear. “Besides, we don’t need a repeat of what’s happened on the past two missions.”

            Omega wasn’t nearly as successful as Hunter was in hiding a grimace at the reminder. Just a few days after escaping a destroyed Kamino, Hunter – his thoughts still full of Crosshair and wondering what he could have said differently to convince his estranged brother to rejoin the squad – had suddenly noticed that Omega was needing to brush her hair out of her face a lot more often than usual. After a few weeks of this, Hunter had finally suggested that she try wearing a headband.

            “Really?” Omega had said excitedly. “I get my own headband?”

            “It’s just to keep your hair out of your eyes,” Hunter had replied. If it worked for him, it would work for her.

            It had not, in fact, worked for her.

            If Hunter knew anything at all about different hairstyles, he might have conjectured that Omega’s unevenly grown out layers were one factor hindering the efficacy of using a headband at this time; but he did not know anything at all about different hairstyles. What he did know was that when Omega wore the headband farther back on her head in a way that actually kept the band secured, it didn’t help hold her bangs off her forehead; and when she wore it on her forehead as Hunter did… Well, even Tech was sensitive enough to not tell Omega that the layer of bangs sticking up in wild disarray behind the bandana made her bear a striking resemblance to a frilled zarco lizard, but Hunter had a feeling Cid would not be so kind if she ever saw it. And anyway, this style had ended up causing near-catastrophe when the headband had slipped down over Omega’s eyes at the precise moment she had been taking a shot at an errant masador chasing them down on one of their most recent missions.

            So the headband had been quickly abandoned; but given that Omega’s hair was growing ever longer and more uneven, the problem still remained, and had led to the second accident Echo had just referred to, when Omega’s bangs flying in her face meant she hadn’t seen the tree root as she was sprinting along with her brothers back to the Marauder. Here they were a week later, and her scraped hands and a bruised forehead had only barely healed.

            “I don’t know what to do about my hair, though,” Omega sighed now. “Nala Se made sure I got my hair cut every four standard weeks on Kamino, but I didn’t really pay attention to how they did it.” Suddenly she brightened. “Hunter, you cut your own hair. Maybe you can do mine the way the droids on Kamino did it?”

            Hunter had no idea how to tell Omega that he cut his own hair only because he didn’t really care if his ends were even, but he did care if Omega’s were and he was not going to be responsible for whatever insult Cid would come up with to describe Hunter’s barbering skills in relation to Omega’s hair. Besides, he had no idea how to work with bangs, and he didn’t want to just chop hers off.

            Deciding to keep his explanation simple, he said, “I don’t know how to do whatever the Kaminoans did for your haircut, Omega.”

            Wrecker, his interest in the discussion having apparently reached a peak, suddenly set Gonky down and moved forward to the seat next to Omega.  “You could always try Tech’s hair gel,” he said with a shrug.

            Tech, perched in his usual spot in the pilot’s seat, was engrossed in his datapad and didn’t appear to hear Wrecker’s statement, nor notice the look of dismay that briefly passed over Omega’s face.

            “No need,” Hunter said quickly before Omega had to reply. “We’ll figure something else out.”

            Thing was, he and his brothers hadn’t even thought about visiting a barber ever since first being sent off Kamino – there had never been any time given how frequently they were sent out on missions during the war, so they had always just maintained their own hairstyles themselves. They had occasionally helped each other out with haircuts… but the best any of them knew how to do was shave to one length and cut a relatively straight line with standard clippers.

            “Do you know how to cut hair?” Hunter asked Echo now, looking hopefully at him.

            “If we had the tools, most I could do is a regulation haircut,” Echo said doubtfully, frowning in thought. “Wrecker has his standard shaver but I think we’d need more than that…”

            “I would assert that Omega may not actually want a regulation haircut, or any of our styles of haircuts, for that matter,” Tech interjected at this juncture, finally looking up from his datapad. Before anyone could say anything, he had made his way back to the others and connected his datapad to the console, displaying his research on the larger screen so the others could see. Hunter smiled a little at the sight; of course Tech had been paying attention to the entire conversation. “These are examples of current trends for human adolescent female hairstyles,” Tech continued. “Perhaps we can trial one of these.”

            “Oooh, I like that one,” Omega said, pointing to one of the images; the look of sheer relief on her face told Hunter that Tech had been right in his assertion. “That would keep my hair out of my face.”

            “An ‘overhand braid,’” Wrecker read out the description, glancing between the picture and Omega. “Uh… how do we do it?”

            “I’ll look up instructions,” Tech said promptly.

            Omega, face brightening even further, set aside her datapad and moved forward to look more closely over Tech’s shoulder, while Hunter and Echo exchanged glances.  

            “Worth a shot,” Echo shrugged, and Hunter nodded.

            Between the five of them and Tech’s unlimited information, how hard could this be?

******

            Four hours later, Hunter was slumped defeatedly in his chair, watching Tech and Wrecker as they doggedly pressed forward in trying to figure out variations of a ponytail. After the thirty minutes spent devising a reasonable substitute for standard hair ties, Hunter could understand why Tech was so determined to find a way to use them.

            He glanced over at Echo, who was currently standing a few feet away observing the proceedings, arms crossed and, Hunter was fairly certain, still muttering “Never again” under his breath. It had been almost two hours since they had finally given up on trying to figure out braids, and Hunter wasn’t sure if Echo was actually traumatized by the experience or just taking the failure personally.

            It was really saying something that Echo – with his one hand, scomp arm, and teeth – had come the closest to actually recreating a hairdo approximating an overhand braid, where Hunter and Wrecker and then Hunter and Tech with their combined four hands hadn’t even been able to make it past step two. But Echo had been rather put out when he somehow got his scomp entangled in the braid and almost took out a chunk of Omega’s hair when trying to extricate it. Omega, for all her patience during the proceedings, hadn’t been able to hold in a high-pitched yelp when Echo had finally managed to free himself, and Tech hadn’t needed any prompting to suggest turning their attention to other possible hairstyles that didn’t include braids.

            Wrecker had been very pleased with himself when he was able to put Omega’s hair into a low ponytail, but her bangs were not yet long enough to make this style very effective, and managing to get all of Omega’s hair into a high ponytail was beyond the current skills of Wrecker, Hunter, and Tech (Echo had declined making any attempt). Tech and Wrecker were currently discussing the feasibility of splitting Omega’s hair into high and low ponytails; and Omega, who had somehow been enthusiastic and happy throughout the entire ordeal, was starting to look exhausted.

            “This isn’t working,” Hunter spoke up.

            “I would guess that the current length of Omega’s hair is simply not conducive to these various styles,” Tech said thoughtfully. “Perhaps when her hair grows longer…”

            “We can’t wait that long.”

            “There is a barbershop just down the street from here. Perhaps we can seek their expertise.”

            “You couldn’t have mentioned the barbershop four hours ago?” Echo said with no small amount of exasperation.

            Tech opened his mouth to respond, but Omega piped up. “I’m glad we tried the other styles. That was fun!”

            Her cheerful sincerity made Tech’s expression soften with a smile, and Echo gave a small sigh but said no more.  

            “Have you ever cut your hair short, Hunter?” Omega asked curiously as the squad, understanding the new plan, prepped to head out for the barbershop.

            “As cadets, we always had to have the regulation haircut,” Echo put in. “We didn’t get to choose a different style until after graduation.”

            “True,” Tech added, “but for us 99s, getting a regulation haircut was… tricky. We didn’t look like the regs anyway, and our hair was different in more ways than just color. For example, my hair grows slower than is typical for clones, so oftentimes I wasn’t scheduled for a cut for months at a time.”

            Hunter nodded as he looked at Omega to answer her original question. “My hair always grew faster than the regs’ did, so the droids would cut my hair shorter than standard. A lot shorter. I… didn’t like that, so several times I just didn’t go to the appointments.”

            “They let you do that?” Omega asked in awe.

            Hunter chuckled a little. “Let me? No. I got away with it a few times – Tech would go in my place, since the droids only kept track of the number of cadets scheduled for a cut. But the trainers soon caught on and insisted I keep my hair short. But once we graduated and I could choose my own hairstyle – well, by the time we shipped out for our first mission, my hair was already this long and I was never going to get a regulation cut ever again.”

            “Crosshair was the best at cutting Hunter’s hair until Hunter figured out how to do it himself,” Wrecker put in.

            Hunter nodded again, smiling a little as he thought about all the times Crosshair had threatened to shave a bald strip down the middle of Hunter’s head if he wouldn’t stop fidgeting while Crosshair was trying to cut his hair straight… then he grew somber as he always did when he thought of his brother.

            He hoped Crosshair had at least been recovered from Kamino by now.

            “Well,” Omega was saying with quiet enthusiasm, breaking through Hunter’s thoughts, “it’ll be nice to have something different, for a change.”

            Hunter reached down and brushed Omega’s bangs back, again – though it didn’t do any good, and Omega giggled as her hair flopped back into her eyes.

            “Yeah, kid, you definitely need something different,” he quipped as they followed Tech toward the barbershop.

******

            Omega took the seat next to Wrecker, holding back a sigh. She had just completed her seventh circuit of the barbershop; by now she had pretty much memorized the layout as she looked at the various products, equipment, strange décor, and caught a glimpse of other clients receiving services from the other barber.

            It had been almost an hour, and her brothers still hadn’t settled on a hairstyle for the barber to try on her. The first style the barber had recommended had been deemed by Hunter to be too complicated for him to help with upkeep, even when the barber had patiently explained she would be more than willing to show Hunter how to maintain the cut; an inquiry into current fashion trends for more active individuals had snowballed into a lengthy discussion with Tech about hair textures, growth rates and patterns, hair health, and the impact of these factors on transitional haircuts when one wanted to switch from one style to another; and even now that Tech was currently engrossed in examining more pictures of example haircuts, Hunter and Echo were still debating feasible styles with the barber, with Hunter seeming most concerned about the fact that their lifestyle didn’t lend to committing to a consistent schedule for professional haircuts.

            Omega had never really cared what her hair looked like – she had spent over ten years with the same routine hairstyle and had never even thought about changing it, it was just part of her life. Kaminoans didn’t have hair, and even as she had seen more of the galaxy the past months, she had never really paid much attention to others’ hairdos. But when Tech had shown her the varieties of hairstyles that other human girls were wearing, it had suddenly struck Omega that she could have a different hairstyle too.

            She sighed openly now. The excitement of trying a new hairstyle had ebbed away after hours of failure. She understood the point Hunter had first made to the barber that once Omega’s hair was cut, she’d be stuck with that style for several months, minimum; but at this point, it didn’t really matter. She just needed something to keep her bangs out of her eyes so she would stop being more of a liability for her brothers.

            Wrecker apparently had noticed her mood, for he now leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, “You could just be bald, like me. If we leave now, I bet I could have your head shaved before Echo notices we’re gone.”

            Omega giggled - she could only imagine the look on Hunter’s face if she took Wrecker up on his offer. It almost sounded like a good idea, even though she knew Wrecker was joking.

            The barber continued talking through all the other options, at Hunter’s and Echo’s behest. “As I said before, keeping length allows for more versatility with specific hairstyles, including braids…”

            “Never again,” Echo interjected adamantly, earning a startled look from the stylist.

            Omega almost groaned – this had gone on long enough.

            Getting up and crossing the shop with Wrecker following suit, Omega tugged gently on Hunter’s hand. “Hunter, I don’t need all this. I just need a way to hold my hair back.”

            Up close, Omega could tell the barber was reaching the end of her rope. “Have you tried hair clips?” the stylist said in near desperation.

            Echo furrowed his brows. “What are…”

            “This one will do nicely,” Tech said suddenly, gesturing for Omega to come over to give her final opinion as the other brothers looked over curiously at the sample image Tech had pulled up.

            Omega took one look at the style and grinned. It was perfect.

            “That one,” she said; and when she looked back at the others, she knew a unanimous decision had finally been made.

            She couldn’t stop grinning until long after the barber had completed her work and the team had returned to the Marauder. Her bangs were now out of her eyes, her hair felt more manageable, and – well, once or twice before she had heard other people say that they felt “pretty,” and now she knew what that meant. She felt pretty.

            Who knew it could be so exciting to get a haircut?

@summer-of-bad-batch

[mikodrawnnarratives]

TW IMPLIED CHARACTER DEATH

TW BLOOD

(Just like last time, it isn't really graphic but I'm tagging just so you know)

@naffeclipse

Part 1 | This is Part Two | Part Three | Extra

It. Probably won't need a part 4

I'm doing this all on one cps file so I sure hope so kjlfdkfljs

i'm at like- 750+ layers i'm so sorry my file

...there might be a part 4 but it'll be small sketches and aftermaths

Once again, long post under the cut:

I am not the only traveler, who has not repaid his debt.

I've been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

- The night we met by Lord Hurdon

Alright, I didn't make too much of an effort to hide it but how many of you guessed it was gregory and how many of you didn't see it coming?

Gee I wonder who Gregory's companions are

Okay if you don't have a nugget of who these companions are then my rambling below makes it a little more obvious

Anyway, this little comic of self indulgence to mend my broken heart says "YO what if Gregory and other characters saved Vanessa like they did in canon"

It certainly would NOT be easy for Vanessa once she wakes up to that realization. But there are factors that make it a little bit easier for Vanessa to cope compared to other children.

Since Gregory and others proved they could fight and free her as Vanny, it gives her mind a little reassurance that they aren't completely helpless.

Plus, I like the idea of the GGY story (Dr Rabbit) existing as this au's equivalent of the same experience, that would mean Gregory has had his own bad experiences with Glitchtrap and so it wouldn't be like some random kid going against a threat he was unfamiliar with

She still distances herself a lot earlier on and the more time passes, the older Gregory gets, the less he looks and sounds like a kid.

Those make it much easier for Vanessa to stand being around them as time goes by. Earlier on, she only really interacted when absolutely necessary. But she did grow a small soft spot for them.

She remained pretty closed off about herself over the years and never delved too deep about her past. Ness left frequently for her own hunting jobs and at one point Gregory asked where she went. Somethings made it seem like these hunts weren't just random and different

He didn't get an answer of course. But later that day, Vanessa told him about Y/n. In vague terms. This is the most information he ever gets about Vanessa's past.

So Gregory's got no idea who to expect to see showing up to the gravestone ltr on and is just like

Gregory: cool, ur mysterious enough for it to be believable ur related to my mysterious older sister/mentor figure Wanna hear a story

Y/n: ...yes.

Forgive him his brain is ever so foggy from grief and no slep

Anyway, Y/n picked a day to visit Vanessa when they knew they were stable enough not to lash out and attack any humans that may happen to also be visiting the graves. They had eaten pretty recently but not so recent that they were vulnerable.

It's pretty early in the morning where it is still dark and the rain provides some more protection.

If you couldn't tell before, many MANY years have passed since Y/n has been human. Think somewhere between 20-30 years. And while, they still hate who they are now and aren't mentally okay, they've gotten a semi-solid understanding of their limits and what they can and cannot tolerate and when.

And, even though they are nervous, they can manage to have this conversation with Gregory for now.

Why are they talking to Gregory so willingly? despite the risks?

well

the next part will explain that

[stupidscav]

what the tuna is going on with my brain

warning for like. intrusive thoughts ig (specifically ones focusing on "cleanliness") emetophobia warning and s/h. and also really confusing plurality(???) as well as mentions of trauma I suppose

just thinking about like. how my intrusive thoughts will literally be fuckin. "you should puke out everything in your guts as well as your organs so you can finally be clean:)" and I'll just be. chilling. what the freak

also "you should dunk yourself in scalding hot water so it burns off the first layer of skin and you're clean!!" where are you getting this from. what

and then the. plurality thing ?? I have two different thought processes in my brain at some times. like they're not fully sentient, nor are they very strong (can't say much, and their voices are very weak) and they feel like they are different parts of me, but they are there and I can tell. they have physical appearances and they both appeared after some trauma shit I guess, like I. didn't mean for them to appear. but they did and they won't leave

forgive the rambling I have no idea what I'm doing

like if I don't focus on them for long enough they start to fade away. but now I've thought about them again and they're back. I've been able to have short conversations with them. what. what is this. it's very possible it could be a dissociative disorder because when I was like 3 and under my mom and dar were really silly and loved to troll eachother/sarc. but also they don't front or anything, and I do have memory issues but that could very easily be a shit ton of factors that I will not get into right now because there is A Lot. I know it's very different but maybe also tulpamancy, which I don't know too much about but judging by how weak these uh. guys?? are it could be the case, but also they're not just separate beings, they are parts of me, literally like different sections of myself idk how to explain it

you can ask about it if you want I can try and answer some things

[1d-trashcan]

PSA: not a larrie

I feel like I might have some chill larrie moots and in case they aren’t chill it’s only right that I tell you that I’m a pretty chill anti. I mean chill in the sense that I used to be extremely vocal about it, but now I just view it as a black and blue/white and gold dress situation. We view it differently.

I personally don’t think anyone has any business assigning someone a sexuality, never mind assigning a whole ass closeted relationship to two people. Louis was very vocal about Larry in his tweet in 2012 and I know there’s a theory about that tweet and whatnot, but for me it went like this:

I entered the fandom in 2011 and my friend (who was an x factor fan) basically introduced me like “This is Zayn, he’s vain and mysterious, this is Liam, he’s a cupcake, he’s afraid of spoons and he’s the dad of the group, this is Niall, he loves food, especially Nando’s, this is Harry, he’s really cheeky, this is Louis and he’s mischievous and Harry and Louis are our resident homosexuals. (Did I, at one point have the “I’m in love with five homosexuals that can’t dance” type blog? Yes. Carrot memories are super cringey and don’t define me, please and thank you).

Did I think Larry was a thing during the X factor and when they lived together? Yeah, a little bit. Then Harry started dating Caroline and Louis started dating Eleanor and I was like “ok maybe not”. I’m reticent to dig deeper and analyse it too much because it’s a private thing. Do I think Harry and Louis joked a lot about it because it was everywhere? Absolutely. Do I think management closeted them? No, I always thought that was a decision they made because it was upsetting to Eleanor, and Louis is extremely protective. It would not shock me if the reason Harry and Louis stopped being best friends was because Harry was ready to ride it out but Louis couldn’t stand having someone he was in a relationship with/loved was being hurt, because of how protective he is. But again, I’m super reticent to dig too deep.

Because of Tiktok and Twitter not really being very blacklist/filter friendly I’ve accidentally viewed a lot of Larry content and suffice it so say that, no I don’t think they know about green/blue etc etc. I absolutely don’t think the checkered clothing this was a “clue” because it was literally a fashion trend at the time. Absolutely unfollow me if you don’t think Freddie is Louis’ son.  

I don’t think they’re gonna speak out, because the situation is infected. When Louis tweeted “Larry is the biggest bullshit” people were threatening suicide and all kinds of things. Imagine knowing that if you speak out against Larry, people will threaten suicide. Imagine, hypothetically that they are in a closeted relationship and decide to come out, knowing that a portion of the dark larries will send death threats to antis. AND the thing is - they could speak out, and someone would find an angle. There’s always an “it’s management” angle with Larries. If they ever spoke out about it properly I would actually shit myself because it’s not exactly a high reward situation.

There are a lot of layers to this, and I’ve had a lot of interesting conversations with larries that turned antis etc and viewed it as a cult-like environment. My ask is open for people who wanna talk about how they feel about the discourse and to discuss how they feel about being larries/antis. 

My ask is not open for Larries that want to “prove me right”. I’ve seen everything, I’ve read everything, you will not change my mind. This is not a hateful statement, and it is not a homo/biphobic statement, it is a “this is how i view the facts at a surface level” statement. They do not owe us anything below the surface. It. Is. Not. For. Us.

In summation: their PRIVATE lives are not for us. Their sexualities are not for us. They are not Taylor Swift, who readily welcomes and even now sometimes weaponizes who her songs are about. We get glimpses and we can interpret them and relate to them, but at no point have we been invited to poke and prod a relationship people have projected onto them. That is why I sometimes have beef with larries.

[valiant-if]

Sometimes Anton just lingers too long in my head and i have to restrain a goofy smile during work or people will ask questions

I just love imagining cute cuddles and hugs with him, twirling my hair and trying not to smile🥰

My mc is super clingy in a relationship, they're just touch starved and love physical contact with Anton but they're stupid shy while doing it

Anton's thoughts? What about the other Ros what's their reactions to this Mc

I really love this if game the characters and plot is sooooo goooood💖💜

hi, anon! Thanks for waiting so patiently for me to answer this ask!

I'm so glad you like Anton, and I can understand why. Tbh, one of the first things that comes to mind whenever I think of his character concept is that dude probably gives amazing hugs. 😊

Anton is very much a caretaker type of person, so he pairs well with this type of MC. In a relationship, he's comfortable letting MC set the pace for interaction and will kind of go with the flow with their needs. There would always be a sliver of worry in the back of his mind as to whether or not trauma influenced how the MC expresses themself in a relationship—he knows more than a few people for whom that's the case—but he would never ask outright.

For Sonia, it depends on how deep their relationship is. She's not super comfortable with too much physical contact or a clingy person unless she has known them for a long time. Early in a relationship, she might unintentionally wall herself off from a clingy and/or super physical MC. Later in a relationship, there would already be boundaries and expectations set out between her and the MC, at her insistence if not their own. Once she's used to it, she's pretty comfortable with it. As for the shyness factor, she doesn't approach shy or bold MCs much differently.

Zero tends to also be on the clingy and physical side herself, so she would have no issues with a clingy MC. She would find the shyness very adorable, and it would be very difficult for her not to tease the MC about it.

Path's reaction to a very physical and cuddly MC entirely depends on the context and manner of the physical touch. Early in a relationship, he sometimes doesn't mind cuddling, but he feels a little weird about it when things are too emotional. He's in the top three least compatible with a clingy MC because he doesn't know how to deal with it and it can make him a little uncomfortable. He finds the shyness funny, and, unlike Zero, will make no attempts not to tease the MC about it. Deep into a relationship, MC would have already peeled back his layers and discovered the reasons for all his weird quirks when it comes to relationships, so theoretically boundaries have already been discussed and set so that everyone is comfortable.

Kiran is oblivious about the romantic implications of a shy, clingy, and touchy MC until a straightforward conversation has been had about it. She's extremely adaptable, though, so once things are out in the open, they are comfortable with this type of MC but don't necessarily have any strong feelings for or against their type of behaviors.

Yulia is one of the other top three contenders for incompatibility with a clingy MC, but as long as any clingy behavior doesn't come between her and her work she can generally roll with it. She loves general physical touch with a partner and would find a lot of pluses in that. As far as the shyness, she doesn't have strong feelings about it one way or the other. Some people are just shy and she doesn't have much more of an opinion about it beyond that.

Hex pairs well with a clingy and cuddly MC for many of the same reasons as Anton. The main difference is that Hex is a go-with-the-flow kind of person in general, including in how he approaches relationships, so he adjusts to different types of partners extremely well. He's a little prone to teasing a shy MC, but only in a flirtatious manner and not with the intent of embarrassing them in front of other people.

A2 is the third in the top three least compatible with a clingy MC, at least early in a relationship. Once she's close with them, she actually loves it. The cuddly physical touch is fine with her at any stage, but only in private; she abhors public displays of affection. She doesn't understand a shy MC—it seems childish to her—but she wouldn't call attention to it or put them down for it.

Thanks for the ask!

[fairycosmos]

This is an interesting convo!

I know that studies based in both my country and the US have linked large age gaps to increased risk for intimate partner violence and other forms of abuse. It's important to take it country by country and the studies I read (they were for a uni project) focused specifically only on heterosexual couples.

Of course there are other factors that increase or lower risks for these things and a large age gap relationship doesn't automatically mean they will happen. It just gets trickier the younger one of the partners involved is. The brain only finished developing its frontal lobe at approximately 25 years of age, which is the part responsible for reasoning, social interaction, problem solving etc. (idk maybe thats why Leo Dicaprio bounces when his partners turn that age) This means people younger than that are physically unable to reach their full reasoning potential.

Maturity is also a slippery concept because it is often equated with one type of intelligence when there are many we need to navigate life. I've even been called mature by multiple people just for being a generally serious person. Maturity is also at times mistaken with having gone through certain experiences. They can help a person mature at times but certain experiences had too young or before the person had the resources and capability to properly deal with them - like having to grow up too fast - can lead to stuff like hyperindependence for example, which is often mistaken as a sign of maturity and not what it is, a trauma response that leave someone more prone to being sociallyisolated, aversion to reaching out to for help, mistrust of perceived outsiders etc etc). It's not a healthy balance. These are the folks that tend to get "you're so mature for your age" a lot. That's just one example though and it all depends on the person and they circumstances.

It's just stuff for younger people to be quite careful around especially because these things are very specifically what predators tend to look for in potential partners (aside from youth itself and qualities they associate with it) and they know young people are more likely to have these vulnerabilities. Other appeals to them is also that this tends to be a very tumultuous life period with many life transitions, finding oneself as an adult, trying to become financially independent/stable, a shifting support network and a still developing a schema for what relationship dynamics should look like to them.

We can all can be manipulated at any age if someone knows your specific vulnerabilities well enough, but particularly young people have a lot going on that add a layers of risk, which is why, as we learn more about different manifestations of abuse of power, the age gap conversation has been becoming more prevalent too. We have better language to describe and explain such phenomena than we did in the past. Like before, the inherent power imbalance of employer-employee relationships in terms of sexual relationships and advancements was not taken seriously and everyone involved was considered equally responsible and accountable when power was abused.

Healthy age gap relationships certainly exist. It's just precaution that younger people know what the risks and red flags are so they can make better decisions, especially when there are people out there who are actively looking to take advantage and will go to great lengths to cover it until they've gradually developed an unhealthy dependence in the relationship.

thank u for sharing! im not sure i much of anything to add TBH bc i feel like you summed things up really well. it makes a lot of sense to me that the more we're becoming aware of abuse of power and how it manifests in society, the larger age gaps in relationships are critiqued and questioned.

[terrifyingstories3]

i'm in school and have a practicum and things are BUSY but i'm still crying about characters and it's been a birkhoff month so

i think his favorite feature about himself is probably his facial hair. it just feels Right and he wouldn't feel like himself without it. when he's first beginning hormone therapy he cries when he starts growing facial hair and it's just this moment of gender euphoria for him. it makes him feel comfortable in himself and increases his confidence x10000 and if you know birkhoff there are aren't a lot of things he puts a lot of effort into maintaining (his vision is absolutely terrible and he's needed new glasses since FOREVER, he could use some dental work, his diet consists primarily of energy drinks and sugar, he's probably slightly anemic), but HE TAKES GOOD CARE OF THAT HAIR.

he has crushes on all of his friends in varying intensities at mostly varying times not always. he kinda wants to kiss all of them. he doesn't think this makes his feelings for people less significant or meaningful though he's very serious about how much he wants to make out with everyone

he has different kisses for everyone and that sounds weird. i know. but he can show you and it's not not true. he's a really good kisser according to the people he has kissed and it's not unrelated to how much thought and intention he puts into his kissing. you don't necessarily expect it because he's like That Nerdy Guy but he'll rock your world

that being said when he really really FALLS for you he FALLS for you and it's life changing

he has top surgery sometimes in his twenties (??) i want to say and he'd like to have bottom surgery but it's complicated for a lot of practical reasons given His Life as an ex division argent. there are just a lot of factors there holding him back but he'd want that someday.

i think hes really big on death of the author. i think reading and engaging in media was really important to him, especially as a kid growing up "different" and alone and lacking support and resources and he's not willing to give up stuff that gave him comfort and hope because an author is horrible. he might kill them , but, (okay, probably not, he's not really a Killer, though he has killed, a few people - it was really traumatic though so it probably wouldn't happen. his bestie nikita might kill them tho), he's not gonna let something that got him through be tainted (though he wouldn't participate anything that's gonna fund that author either. but that wasnt really an issue he owns the internet he can read anything he wants he wasn't really paying anyway wfkjwf)

has bunny slippers and loves them dearly

pretty much always cold. wears a lot of layers because of this. he's generally more comfortable in layers anyway - given his top surgery there is some vulnerability attached with being shirtless (especially in the time period the show airs in but currently too), and he generally always has a shirt on, but not necessarily for insecurity so much as there are situations where he doesn't feel safe to do that OR he just doesn't want to deal with people, and has mentioned before, he just likes layers.

he's very aware of the vulnerability in having that conversation with people and also just the emotional exhaustion that can accompany it, and the privilege he has as someone who typically doesn't have his gender questioned, so sometimes he's just like nah i'm good not subjecting myself to this or i don't feel like it today. he's also aware that there's the potential for it to be dangerous for him even if he doesn't anticipate it. but generally speaking, he's not necessarily self conscious. he has bad days and struggles with dysphoria at times, but for the most part is comfortable in himself, and most of his insecurities aren't specifically trans related. he has a lot of doubts about himself and his worth to people and regrets about harm he's caused in the past, and that's more likely to manifest in discomfort in himself regarding anything to do with his gender or presentation of it.

he has a lot of pride in having overcome the things that he has, which can sometimes really make him look like a dick. for example, he's really proud of all this money he's managed to acquire as a hacker and it like. very much comes off as this shallow selfish vain love of money and luxury and like DOES HE GET A POOL EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T LIKE WATER BECAUSE IT FEELS MORE FANCY AND LUXURIOUS? yeah lmao. it's there he can be a dick. but when he brags about His Money or His house it's generally less about possession and more about... his pride in himself for having been able to acquire those things, and recognition that for a lot of reasons these aren't things he was ever supposed to have by definition of who he is in the perspective of society and his family.

he was never supposed to be happy he was never supposed to have anything he was never supposed to feel secure or have any type of power in his life and so.. he's really proud of himself for getting there!!!!! he's overcome A LOT, when he was all alone and had no resources and nothing except himself. and he doesn't see expressing that as something that's to the detriment of anyone else because it's not about anyone else it's about him and what he's survived and overcome. he's like fuck yeah i stole money from this 1% of the 1% jerkwad and got away with it. he managed to scrape by and survive and THRIVE when he was never supposed to, and he won't feel bad about how he did that. it was him against the world and he made it through and that counts for something. he's a survivor and that means something.

so yeah he brags about being a legend and stealing all this money and it's CRINGY but it really does come from something deeper.

security is something really important to him and something he's very conscious of. he had no security as a kid and having the tools and support to be who he is and take the measures he needed to become who he knew he was and receive the care he needed is something that was never guaranteed to him and he wants that. and with the money, he can give that to himself, and that's IMPORTANT. and he never wanted to want for that again he never wanted to have to desperately scrape for it and he shouldn't have to. and that's a big part of who he is. he's selfish in a lot of ways and he recognizes that, but that isn't something he sees as selfish per se. because he doesn't live in a world that's going to help him, he never has, and that means he has to help himself. and if the world won't give him the tools to do that, he'll take them.

that being said he really is this family guy and he just wants to live in a house with all of his friends forever. yes even this person who steals all his favorite snacks and this person who doesn't pick the wet towel off the floor and this person who Drives Him Crazy with their tapping. he loves them and would take care of them all of his life and it's actually the ideal life for him. and while he can be selfish with love, curl around His People and let the world burn because they're the most important, there's truly a lot of selflessness in how he loves, too.

he can be very cowardly but he's also the definition of do it scared at his core. he's scared, he's so scared - of hurting and dying and losing the people he loves, but he does it anyway. he's tortured and he never wavers even for a second going right back to the life that led him there. he's scared so often about so many different things but he doesn't let that fear stop him (eventually. it takes some time.) which also makes him very, very brave.

there is a lot in him that just wants him and the people he loves to be safe, and would be very content with that. he's not a person who needs to be out there saving the world or slaying dragons, and he doesn't think he really needs to be. there are a lot of people out there like that already and it's enough to try and keep them from flying too close to the sun. but he's also a person who has recognized he's caused a lot of harm in his life (particularly as an instructor at division who was just really A Dick), and he cares a lot about remedying that.

[sennthefern]

A Thousand Suns Part 2 Chapter 2 Meta

Hi here’s my messy notes on Chapter 2 since it was, I kid you not, the most difficult chapter to write so far. Granted a lot of that has to do with the fact that I was trying to integrate ancillary material from the comics. However, the actual biggest challenge by far was the core problem: how do you get a paragon Shepard to willingly join Cerberus?

On John & joining Cerberus

I think this is a really interesting question and that’s one of the main reasons I wanted to initially write this fic. Needless to say, I had my work cut out for me from the get go. I’ll try my best to go into how I achieved this.

The way Cerberus operates in this chapter is through a lot of very subtle manipulation choices. Obviously there’s the fact that Jacob lies to John at the very start of the chapter, convincing him that he’s Alliance and that this is merely some kind of black ops off-the-record nonsense, but it runs a bit deeper than that. Each character from Cerberus has a different role to play in John’s manipulation. Jacob is the confidant, allowing someone for John to trust (and trust is a BIG factor in his story for ME2,) Miranda is the “bad cop” in the sense that she’s very upfront and plain about her plans, and Kai Leng is the “worse cop,” aka the guy that makes everyone else look better by virtue of being a giant jackwad. 

On a subtler layer you’ll notice that Miranda is always whisking people along, creating environments and situations where John doesn’t have all the information and is oftentimes the last person leaving the room. Kai Leng is there to run interference, goading John into not paying attention to what’s really happening. The biggest thing that they try to do throughout the course of this chapter is to separate John and Liara, with the intention that John agrees to work with them and further a growing wedge between the two.

Obviously there’s also the exploitation of John’s emotional state when they reveal they’re looking Julia’s body, and Cerberus’ callous treatment of the potential for her resurrection/retrieval. And who’s there to sum it all up in a bow? The Illusive Man, doing his spin doctor routine and sweet talking John with a thousand more surprises and promises. Of course, John’s not an idiot. So he tries his best to keep his distance and have his cake and eat it too. He wants to use Cerberus’ resources without actually working with them. 

But that is literally impossible. In a way it’s deterministic; you can’t use Cerberus’ resources without being a part of Cerberus (whether you like it or not.) Granted, a lot of the time he’s been ‘working with them’ has been spent waiting for the SR-2 to be completed, so the conversation with Anderson at the start of the chapter is really the first time he’s challenged on his allegiances. 

By the end, however, we see John’s central challenge resolved: morals be damned, he has to see this through. The Alliance turned their back on him. He’s got to continue the fight on his own. 

And I think that’s kind of the interesting thing about this fic. How these two twins change and how their respective moral codes rub off on one another. (And yes, I know everyone has been trying to figure out if/when/how Julia is returning. To that I say: I haven’t forgotten; just hang tight :D)

On Omega & the Terminus

So to be completely upfront, ME2 is my least favorite game in the trilogy. Yes, ME1’s gameplay is worse and the writing is weird. Yes, ME3 is… ME3, but I do like the combat in it and i find it to be a satisfying enough conclusion. ME2, though? Where do i start?

I think my biggest gripe is the way the Terminus is handled. In ME1 the Terminus Systems is presented as an alternative region comparable to Citadel Space, even if it lacks a central government. The entire reason the Council doesn’t send in a fleet after Saren to Ilos is because it would spark a war with the Terminus. Cut to ME2 and I realize… who the heck would the war be with? The Vorcha? The freaking blood pack?? Sure, the Hegemony’s there, but they got their asses beat so badly by a barely-interstellar humanity in the blitz that they fully receded from Council Space. Instead the Terminus is presented as the wild west, mainly composed of gangs, gangs, and more gangs. This is so reductive!!! Why would you set a game in a new area only for that part of the universe to be left so empty?

Anyways that’s enough of my soapbox rant. As for how I’m approaching the Terminus, I’m pulling a lot from the ME1 depiction and (perhaps unsurprisingly) a lot of ancillary material. There’s more than just Omega and the Hegemony and mercenaries. There’s rogue asari enclaves and volus anarcho-capitalist trade unions and, most pressingly, the Lysthenti Salarians. They get (i kid you not) a SINGLE sentence in mass effect: ascension and i just… what is the story there!! they’re genetically distinct?? they were forced off Sur’Kesh????? They have their own government in the Terminus???????? Crazy shit. I need to know more BioWare!!

How will these things all work in the actual story? I have no idea. But needless to say that’s how I’m approaching it. (I also pull quite a bit of inspo from Ascension in the description of Omega in this chapter, as well.)

Jacob, Cerberus, and Kai Leng

What can I say about these idiots that hasn’t already been said? I actually don’t hate Jacob. I think he’s a terribly mismanaged character and very poorly written, but he’s not like, bad. Like i said earlier, the biggest theme of ME2 is trust. Who can John trust? Can he really trust anyone? Jacob, to me, is The Guy for this question. John should want to trust him!!! But unfortunately, Jacob sucks! And that’s a juicy conflict!!!!

You may have been surprised to see Kai Leng in this chapter. I know I was when I wrote it. This is a bigger part of the project to integrate ME2 and 3 better. Kai Leng and Cerberus’ Dealings (what those exactly are will be explored LaterTM) are going to be a bigger part of ME2. Did you know that Kai Leng is a big part of the comics? I didn’t! His stuff isn’t great by any means, but it’s at least interesting. (The same cannot be said about his in-game appearances.)

Not to harp on ME2 more, but I am surprised at how little the game actually focuses on Cerberus’ characters. There are interesting things in the lore! Eva Core! Kai Leng! Grayson, Pel, and Golo! The internal politics of an organization that by design is asymmetrical and secretive! I chalk a lot of this up to the fact that Shepard is not willingly working with them in 2, but for a Shepard who is, how much info does he get? Who’s his handler? How much access is he given? These are the questions I really want to explore. 

[broodsys]

ugh.... i need to get to know some botanists and chemists bc there’s stuff i want to talk out with them. maybe virologists too. i will make friends with all the sciences just watch

looking into rain barrels, and there’s a big push to not use any collected rainwater on edible plants. i understand the point - rainwater, esp collected from your roof, can contain contaminants from things like bird poop or even roofing materials themselves, which can then wash into your rain barrel

however, i think that using it to water the plants is... fairly minimal risk? but putting that aside, let’s just assume it’s a genuine risk, i still think there are reasonable diy ways to treat it - offhand, im thinking a container on top that drains directly into the rain barrel, filled with a thick layer of sand and then a layer of activated carbon. if all the rainwater-from-the-roof moves thru that before it ever hits the inside of the rain barrel, i think that’d take care of most if not all potential contaminants, and at the least really reduce the overall amnt you’re dealing with

but also... plants and soil process this stuff. it’s not a I Put Chemical X Into The Soil So Then I Eat Chemical X kinda formula. it’s more like I Put Chemical X Into The Soil That All The Soil Organisms Process And Then Produce Waste Matter Which Has Processed Chemical X Mixed With A Lot Of Other Stuff Instead Of Pure Chemical X, Which Is Then Taken Up By Plant Roots And Mycelium And Further Processed Before It Ever Hits The Above-Ground Portions Of Plants, Which Are Generally What Will Be Consumed - root vegetables and the like notwithstanding, that may well be a different conversation

reminds me of the idea of contaminated soil in general, and how a big push to address that isn’t Get Rid Of The Soil or Get Rid Of The Contaminants, but instead Add So Much Other Stuff That The Contaminants Are An Increasingly Small Proportion Of The Soil Makeup

but like, idk how accurate my view of this is. there’s a lot of nuance and chemical reactions and changes. what if things bond to the undesired contaminants, do they lessen them or make them worse? do viruses foster underground or just die out? if u have any mycelium network, what’s the big difference btwn using collected rainwater on non-edible plants only, bc mycelium transfers nutrients and could arguably contaminate a whole group of plants you’re intentionally keeping rainwater away from? what about worms and other soil-dwelling creatures, they can physically transfer nutrients or contaminants. idk! part of me thinks these ppl are just being rly fucking paranoid, but then the other part of me is like hey, ur not a chemist, maybe sit down and listen.

other factor: we’ve been using rooftop runoff rainwater for years now with no noticeable bad effects so. yeah. there’s that!

[assetfinx]

How Does Dillon Bhatt Is Revolutionizing The World Of Web 3.0 And Luxury Watches?

I am a passionate watch collector, advisor to both collectors and brands and the founder and CEO of Luxe Forte Limited.

From my formative years, I have been fascinated by mechanical watches, their intricacies, aesthetics, and movements. As a kid, I read QP Magazine, hoping one day I would own such incredible timepieces. Today I'm lucky enough to collect and turn my passion into a business.

What makes watches so special for you? Watches have always been a form of expression; each watch tells a unique story. Owning a watch is a journey; a watch sees what you see, goes where you go, and is a companion through your hard times and good times. Each scratch tells its own story and a story that can be passed down from generation to generation. A watch can tell a lot about a person; it is the first thing I notice about Somebody I meet for the first time. You can almost tell their likes and interests by what watch they wear. Additionally, I love how watches have connected me to so many people worldwide. Watches cultivate community. Now more than ever, they are conversation starters, bringing together many like-minded people.  

Tell us about your journey in the watch industry and how your experience has been? During my time at university, I shared watch knowledge with my peers and organized meet-ups where we discussed new releases for hours. Towards the latter part of my university years, I made it my goal to attend what, at the time, was the most prestigious watch show - Baselworld. At 19, I went to Switzerland without knowing anybody and started making appointments to speak to brands. It was extremely overwhelming, and I had gotten turned down many times, but at the same time, a few brands welcomed me with open arms.  

It was a truly exhilarating experience, and at that moment, I knew I wanted to continue to deepen my knowledge and build relationships within the watch industry. Nine years on, some of my best memories have been with people I met through the love of watches; I have friends worldwide and have been lucky enough to develop my passion into a business. Most importantly, I can still learn and share my knowledge with enthusiasts around the world.

You work with rare and unique items. Can you explain how you choose them? My love started with understanding the intricacies of watches and what makes them great. It is only natural to work with brands and watchmakers who share the same values. I lean towards independent brands as well as rare and intriguing watches, both modern and vintage, regardless of value.  

Independent watch brands have very different values, which you can feel within the company's DNA. They are much more flexible and expressive (in some cases playful) when they create their watches. As they are not restricted by group guidelines, their first and foremost goal is to create phenomenal products. I am lucky enough to work with several brands including De Bethune and L' Epée, who are regarded as one of the top watchmakers and clockmakers in the world. My working relationships have naturally formed through years of friendships and a love of watches that bring us together.  

What are the biggest challenges you face on a day-to-day basis, and how do you overcome them? One of the biggest challenges within the watch industry, especially within the realm of vintage watches, is the issue of authenticity and tracking provenance. The value of a timepiece can be determined by various factors, which include whether the watch is bundled with its original documentation, warranty certificate and other accessories, the current condition of the watch, and whether any of the original parts have been modified or replaced.

These are all extremely difficult to track; until now, the tracking within the industry has been done manually, and the information stays with the brand, as it isn't typically shared or made public. Web 3.0 and, more specifically, blockchain technology can be the solution. Where we can add a layer of transparency into the industry, information such as when a watch was purchased, its servicing details and transactional information will all be notarized onto the blockchain.

We heard you’re the leading person in bringing Web 3.0 to the luxury Watch industry. How do you see the landscape moving forward? Web 3.0 comes in many forms, and the potential use cases are endless. I have done a deep dive into learning about blockchain, cryptocurrencies, NFTs and the metaverse. We have just started scratching the surface regarding how we can use these solutions. I am developing Web 3.0 solutions for the luxury goods space and, more specifically, working with brands within the watch industry.  

Through the adoption of Web 3.0, the luxury industry will revolutionise the way brands will interact with their consumers. We are already seeing innovative mediums of communication through NFT projects, new sales channels within the Metaverse, and improved after sales care and reduce counterfeited products on the market through blockchain protocols. Most importantly we are trying to bridge these two worlds in seamless manner, providing extra peace of mind and greater value for collectors and brands.  

The inevitable goal is for my name to be synonymous with Web 3.0 within the luxury goods space.

Source: Outlook

Who Can Help You?

Web 3.0 Development Company

The internet greatly impacts everyone’s lifestyle by making our lives more sophisticated and easier with the evolution of Web 3.0 technology. We Assetfinx - Pioneer Web 3.0 Development Company contributes to its growth by developing personalized Web 3.0 browsers, Web 3.0 e-Store, Web 3.0 Event Platforms, Web 3.0 Education Platforms, Web 3.0 Gaming platforms, Web 3.0 Social Media Platforms, more. Our experts assure guarantee for its security, decentralization, ubiquity to initiate top-performing Web 3.0 Platforms based on your demands and needs.

Get consultation! Phone/ Whatsapp: 638 430 1100 Mail: contact@assetfinx.net

[depressedbagpipe]

why can't boomers write teenagers right?

maybe this is just me, but i'm starting to see a pattern here. every teenage/YA show/movie I've seen lately shows young people calling each other 'bestie,' and generally engaging in a lot of tiktok lingo in day-to-day conversations and it's becoming too cringe for me.

i *am* a YA who's always on the internet and spends way too many hours on tiktok, but i think a lot of the older writers fail to realize that these comments and expressions are ironic and sarcastic, two key factors of the GenZ humor. I've personally left comments saying stuff like 'slay,' or 'sis ate,' but almost no one talks like that in real life. it only makes sense on the internet, and even only in specific spheres like tiktok or maybe twitter if you squint the right way.

i know most of the writers out there are not willingly out to get us, but it does seem frustrating when they box an entire generation into 'bestie not you slaying,' when there are so many layers to what makes us interesting. they're painting a caricature of what it is to be young nowadays, almost making fun of literal kids who were born at the same time as social media and have a different idea of what the internet can be.

i don't know if i'm looking too deep into this, but every time i watch shows like Never Have I Ever or High School Musical: The Musical: The Series I'm taken aback at the dialogues 'cause it feels too forced. you can even see the pain in the actors' eyes.

[nopefun]

Interview #494: Ryan Frigillana

Ryan Frigillana is a Philippine-born lens-based artist living and working in New York. His work focuses on the fluidity of memory, intimacy, family identity, and visual culture, largely filtered through the lens of race and immigration. Embracing its plasticity, Frigillana explores photography’s relationship to context as a catalyst for thematic dialogue.

His first monograph, Visions of Eden, was published as two editions in 2020, and is held in the library collections of the MoMA, Getty Research Institute, and Smithsonian among others.

We spoke to find out more about Visions of Eden, his love for photobooks, and photography as a medium for introspection.

Lee Chang Ming Ryan Frigillana

Thanks for agreeing to do this! As we’ve just arrived into the new year, I want to start by asking: how did you arrive at photography and how has your practice evolved so far? Your earlier work was anything from still life to street photography, but your recent work seems to deal with more personal themes.

It’s my pleasure; thank you for having this conversation with me! Wow, looking back at how I’ve arrived at this point makes me feel so grateful for this medium, and excited to think of where it will lead me from here. I came to photography somewhat late. I was initially studying to become a nurse and was set to start a career in that field, but I found myself unhappy with where I was going. My mother was a nurse and I know what goes into being one; it’s not an easy job, and I respect those who do it, but my heart wasn’t in it. I found photography as a creative outlet during that stage of my life, and I’ve clung onto it ever since.

My first exposure to photography (no pun intended) came in the form of street and photojournalism. I would borrow books from the library a lot, consuming works by Magnum and other photographers working in that tradition. At the time, it was all I knew so that’s what I tried to emulate. Even early on in my undergrad career, these modes of creation were reinforced by curriculum and by what I saw from my own peers. My still-life work branches off of that same sentiment: the only names that were ever thrown around by professors were Penn and Mapplethorpe, so that’s who I studied. Thankfully over the years, I’ve been able to broaden that perspective through my own research. Though I don’t necessarily pursue street or constructed still-lifes anymore for my personal work, I’d like to think my technical skills (in regard to timing, composition, light) owe a debt to those past experiences.

I suppose now I’m starting to explore how photography can be used as language, to communicate ideas and internal conflicts. I’m thinking more about the power of imagery, its authorship, its implications, and how photographs have shaped, and continue to shape, our reality. That’s where my work is headed at the moment.

I liked how you mentioned photography as a language, which calls into question who we are speaking to when we make images and what kind of narrative we construct by putting photographs together.

In your work “Visions of Eden”, you trace your family’s journey as first-generation Filipino immigrants in America. I was quite struck by how you managed to link together original photography, archived materials and video stills. To me, with the original photography there was a sense of calm and clarity, perhaps in the composition. But with the archived material it was like peering through tinted glass, and the video stills felt like an unsteady memory. What was the editing process like for you and how did you decide what to include or exclude?

For me, editing is the hardest part about photography. Shooting is the enjoyable part of course because it can feel so cathartic. Sometimes when I shoot it feels almost like muscle memory in the sense that you see the world and you just react to it in a trained way. But with editing, it’s more of a cerebral exercise. More thought is involved when you have to deal with visual relationships, sequence, rhythm, and spacing, etc. The real creation of my work takes place in the editing process. That’s where the ingredients come together to form an identity.

When creating this identity, I not only have to think about what I want to say, but also how I want to say it. It’s like speaking; there are numerous ways you can communicate a single sentence. How are images placed in relation to one another? How large are they printed, or how much white space surrounds it? Are the images repeated? What’s on the following page? The preceding page? Is there text? How are they positioned on the spread? All of these little choices impact the tone of your work. And that’s not even mentioning tactile factors like paper stock or cover material. I think that’s why I have such a deep love for photobooks because 1) they’re physical objects and 2) someone has obsessed over every aspect of that object.

I’m aware that my photographs lately have a quiet, detached, somewhat stripped-down quality to them. I think that’s just a subconscious rejection of my earlier days shooting a lot of street where I was constantly seeking crowded frames and complexity in my compositions. As I’ve grown older, I realize less is more and if I can do more by saying less, that’s even better. Now, the complexity I seek lies in the work as a whole and how all these little parts can form something fluid and layered, and not easily definable.

For Visions of Eden, I wanted the work to feel somewhat syncopated and wandering in thought. That meant finding a balance between my quiet static photographs and the movement and energy of the video stills, or balancing the coldness of the illustrations with the warmth of the family snapshots. The work needed to be cohesive but have enough ambiguity for it to take life in someone else’s imagination. Peoples’ lived experiences in regard to immigration and religion are so complex that they can’t be narrated in any one definitive way. Visions of Eden, hopefully, is a rejection of that singularity.

Yes, there’s definitely something special and intimate about flipping through a photobook! For your monograph, you recently released a second edition which is different from your first (redesigned, added images, etc.). Why did you decide to make it different? Was the editing mainly a solitary process?

The first edition was a partially hand-made object. Illustrations were printed on translucent vellum paper and then tipped into the gutter of the book. When you flip through the pages, those vellum sheets would overlap over certain images, creating a collage-like effect. That was my original concept for this book. Doing this, however, was so laborious and time consuming, and not to mention expensive! Regretfully, I wound up making only twenty copies of that first edition. I wanted the work shared with a wider audience so that’s why I decided to publish a second run.

The latest edition is more of a straight-forward production without the vellum paper. With this change in design, I had to reconfigure the layout. I took liberties in swapping out some images or adding new ones altogether. Also, a beautiful afterword was contributed by my friend, artist, writer, and curator Efrem Zelony-Mindell. I still feel so fortunate and grateful to have had my work seen and elevated by their words in my book.

For the most part, yes editing is quite a solitary process for me. But there does come a point when I feel it’s ready, where I share the work with a few trusted people. It’s always nice to have that outer support system. Much of Visions of Eden was created during my time in undergrad school so I had all sorts of feedback from peers and professors which I’m grateful for. But in the end, as the author, you ultimately have the final say in your work.

Given that Eden is a starting point and metaphor in the work, I was thinking about ideas of gardens, (forbidden) fruit, and movement of people.

How do you view yourself in relation to your place of birth? In your series, I see the most direct links in the letters, old photos where tropical foliage is present in the background, and the photo of the jackfruit (perhaps the only tropical fruit in this series).

I came to America when I was very young, about five years old. For my family and for many other families still living in the Philippines, America is seen as a sort of ideological Eden: a land of milk and honey, of wealth and excess. We all know that’s far from the truth. Every Eden has a caveat, a forbidden tree. Which leads me to ask: as an immigrant living in this country, what fruits were never intended for me?

I honestly don’t remember much about my childhood in the Philippines aside from fleeting memories of my relatives, the sounds of animals, the smell of rain and earth, the taste of my grandmother’s cooking. The identity that I carry with me now as a Filipino is not so much tied to the physical geography of a place but rather it is derived from a way of life, from shared stories, in the values we hold dear, passed on from generation to generation. This is a warm flame that lives on in me to this day as I write these words thousands of miles away from where I came.

Photographs have a way of shaping our memory and our relationship to the past, which in turn affects how we engage with the present. The family photographs and letters used in my book act as anchors in a meandering journey. They serve as landmarks that I can return to whenever I feel lost or need assurance so far away from “home”. They give me the comfort and affirmation that I need to navigate a space where I never really felt I belonged. The spread in my book­­ that you mentioned—the jackfruit on one side, and the Saran-wrapped apple on the preceding page—was a reference to my duality as both Filipino and American. It’s a reminder and an acknowledgment that I am a sum of many things, of many people who have shaped me. If I flourish in life, it’s because my roots were nourished by love.

I like how you mentioned photos as anchors or landmarks. Isn’t that why we create and photograph? To mark certain points in our lives and to envision possible futures, like a cartographer mapping an inner journey. Do you feel like you and your relationships with those you photographed changed through the process of making your works?

When my parents took pictures of our family, it wasn’t done solely in the name of remembrance; it also served as an affirmation of ourselves and our journey—a celebration. Every birthday, vacation, school ceremony, or even the seemingly insignificant events of daily life were all photographed or video-taped as a way of saying to ourselves, “Here we are. Look how far we’ve come. Look at the life we’ve made. And here’s the proof”.

Now, holding a camera and photographing my family through my own lens still carries all of that celebratory joy, but with so much more possibility. Before I really took photography seriously, I never realized its potential as a medium for introspection, but that’s ultimately what it has become for me. In taking pictures of my family, I not only clarify my own feelings about them, but the act of photography itself informs and builds on my relationship with each person. The camera is not a mere recording device, but a tool for understanding, processing, and even expressing love...or resentment. Though I may not be visible in my pictures, my presence is there: in my proximity, my gaze, my focus.

Does all of this impact my relationships? Absolutely. Photographing another person willingly always demands some degree of trust and vulnerability from both sides. There’s a silent dialogue that occurs which feels like an exchange of secrets. I think that’s why I often don’t feel comfortable photographing other people unless we’re very close. Usually my family is open enough to reveal themselves to me, other times what they give can feel quite guarded. That’s a constant negotiation. After the photograph is made though, nobody ever emerges the same person because each of us has relinquished something, no matter how small.

Being self-reflexive in photography is so important. I agree it should be a constant negotiation, but it’s something that bothers me these days – the power dynamic between the photographer and photograph, particularly for personal and documentary projects. More significantly, after the photograph has been made, who is really benefiting. But I guess if we are sensitive to that then perhaps we can navigate that tricky path and find a balance. 

Right, finding that balance is key and sometimes there are no clear-cut answers. That power dynamic is something I always have to be mindful of. As the photographer, you are exercising a certain role and position. At the end of the day, you’re the one essentially “taking” what you need and walking away. There’s an inherent violence or aggression in the act of taking someone’s picture, no matter how well-intended it may be. This aggression carries even greater weight when working, as you say, in a genre like documentary where representation is everything.

I remember an undergrad professor of mine, Nadia Sablin, introducing me to the work of Shelby Lee Adams—particularly his Appalachian Legacy series. Adams spent twenty-five years documenting the disadvantaged Appalachian communities in his home state of Kentucky, visiting the same families over a long period of time. Though the photographs are beautifully crafted, they pose many questions in regard to exploitation, representation, and the aestheticization of suffering. He is or was, after all, an artist thriving and profiting off of these photographs. Salgado is another that comes to mind. This was the first time I really stopped to think about the ethics of image-making. Who is benefitting from it all?

I think the search for this balance is something each photographer has to reckon with personally. Though each situation may vary with different factors that have to be weighed, and context that must be applied, you can always ask yourself these same ever-pertinent questions: am I representing people in a dignified way, and what are my intentions with these images? Communication (listening), building relationships, acknowledging your power, and respecting the people you photograph are all foundational things to consider when exercising your privilege with the camera.

Well said! The process of making photographs can be tricky to navigate yet rewarding. Any upcoming projects or ideas? What’s keeping you busy these days?

Oh, let’s just say I’m constantly juggling 3-4 ideas in my head at any given time, but ninety percent of the time they don’t ever lead to anything finished haha. This past year has been tough on everyone I’m sure. I’ve been dealing a lot with personal loss and grief and the compounded isolation brought on by the pandemic, so for months I’ve been making photographs organically as a subconscious response to these internal struggles. It’s more of an exploration of grief itself as a natural phenomenon and force—like time or gravity. Grief is something everyone will experience in life and each of us deals with it differently, but in the end we have to let it run its course. I see these photographs as a potential body of work that could materialize as a zine or book one day, so we’ll see where that goes.

Other than that, I’ve been working on an upcoming collaboration project with Cumulus Photo. Speaking of which, I saw your photograph featured in their latest zine, running to the edge of the world. Congrats on that! It’s beautiful. But yeah, just trying my best to keep busy and sane, and improving myself any way I can.

Thanks! Looking forward to your upcoming projects! Last question: any music to recommend?

I feel like my answer to this question can vary by the week. I go through phases where I exhaust whole albums on repeat until I get tired of them. So I’ll leave you with the two currently on my rotation: Angles by The Strokes, and Screamadelica by Primal Scream.

Thank you for your time!

Thank you for a lovely discourse. I had a lot of fun!

his website and Instagram.

Get more updates on our Facebook page and Instagram.

[gaycatwizard]

I feel like "bad/flawed characters that are still likeable" are just some of the Best characters and tend to have a bit more emotional staying power, that they're more relatable and more interesting, more memorable. We need more of them, but they're really... hard to do? Not necessarily hard to make, but hard to do well. Because the amount of flaws and Badness (in a moral/philosophical sense, not quality of a character's design and personality) can vary so drastically, along with the amount of redeeming traits and their potency. It can be hard to want to "copy" or mimic the exact ratio from the character that inspired you. Tangent: it's fine to be inspired by one or more works. It's fine to allow it to influence your works. It's hard distinguishing from "I want to do x, but that's basically just rewriting one of my inspirations but with a palette swap" and "this inspires me so I want to use certain elements/themes/ideas/technical aspects of it." That's not the issue here, y'know. But like... I think the sheer variety you can have in Loveable Asshole characters like that, in the ratio of how bad and how good they are, is part of what makes them so interesting, so realistic, so powerful. Like... there are characters who are overall pretty good people, but are rough around the edges in a way that clearly makes them sympathetic and likeable. There are characters who are basically layer upon layer upon layer of mistakes, hatred, and bile with the tiniest nugget of good at the center, that you rarely get a glimpse of, but feel something raw and enthralling because of that. Like... I think Bojack Horseman is a good example, especially because it has a lot of different Likeable Bad People varieties and it does them all really well. Also Bojack Horseman is a good show and, not unlike JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, I want to talk about it at every given opportunity. Bojack himself is a cynical, selfish, destructive, defensive, spiteful, jealous, vain, self-loathing, stubborn piece of shit. He's a bad person and that's... kind of the point of the show. But his entire character, his entire arc that spans the whole of the series, revolves around the diamond buried deep in that rough. He wants to change, but he's so set in his negative ways (and so used to being surrounded by such negativity and toxicity) that he doesn't really know how. Every time he wants to change, he doesn't know how and fails to keep up with his new habits. Every time he's doing well and making progress, some external factor comes in and pushes him violently back down the mountain, back to square one. But he makes an effort, it's very obvious that he doesn't like being this way, that he regrets the things he does, that he feels remorse for the pain he's caused, and he does finally change and improve, things do finally get better for him. His foil (who has such an AMAZING dynamic and relative arc with him I could write a whole essay just on that), Mr. Peanutbutter, is sort of the exact opposite. They have similar careers and positions in the world, but everything goes right for Mr. Peanutbutter. Everyone likes him, everything is handed to him on a silver platter, he's perfect, he's happy, he's attractive, he's popular, he's everything Bojack isn't, and yet somehow he's drawn to Bojack and always wants to try and be his friend. But as Bojack slowly improves over the show and the softer, nicer, Better side of him becomes more and more prominent and common, the negative side of Mr. Peanutbutter slowly gets revealed over the show. He's also selfish and stubborn and stupid and persistent and dangerously disconnected from reality and his interpersonal skills are absolute shit. He puts on that act to make people like him. As the show goes on, it's slowly revealed that he doesn't really pay attention to the wants or needs of others, like, at all. That he only ever really cares about himself and just wants to do and be everything and anything as long as people like him and it makes him happy, regardless of who it hurts. It's amazing. It's in F is

for Family, too. Netflix Adult Animated Sitcoms are very often hit or miss, but these two are absolute homeruns. Frank, the protagonist, of F is for Family is selfish, violent, short-tempered, arrogant, judgmental, ignorant... but he's remorseful and introspective and intelligent and, in a very convoluted and misguided way most of the time, incredibly caring and devoted. He is a piece of shit and he's terrible, and a lot of why he's still likeable, why he's allowed to be so politically incorrect and abusive is due to the setting. Parenting norms were different back then and, now with hindsight, we know that those norms weren't good and you should NEVER hit or yell at or emotionally degrade your kids. The show is a perfect mix of "everyone is a product of their time and environment" and "no matter the time and place, people are people and we have the same thoughts and feelings and struggles," all without glorifying or excusing the terrible actions of the characters with the excuse of the time period or due to being "protagonists" or having redeeming traits. They're human, flawed, some incredibly so, and that's what makes it so good. It's part of why I like F is for Family more than most Adult Animated Family Sitcoms. You've got the typical stupid, selfish, arrogant, etc. Bad Dad and his Housewife, but there's still chemistry. They're still unique, three dimensional characters that clearly love each other and have a reason to still be together despite arguing and hardship. Same with how Frank and Sue treat their kids. They're not great parents, but they're trying to do their best (which isn't always good) and they do clearly love their kids and want the best for them. Their kids are resentful at times and hate their parents for some of the things they do, but they do stick together at the end of the day because there's that underlying realization that none of the mistreatment is done with malicious intent. That doesn't excuse it, but they're all just fucked up and trying to do their best. And they do have sad, relatable characters that are clearly bad people and aren't likeable, despite having sympathetic traits. Like Ginny. Her husband, that she loves dearly, is gay and simply doesn't love her the way she loves him, their marriage is hollow and empty. But she constantly forces her suffering on others, regardless of whether they want to hear it or are emotionally equipped to do so. Attempting to leave the conversation or explain that other people have problems too means, to Ginny, that you're a terrible human being who can't be there for someone in pain or that you're selfish and disgusting and never stop thinking of yourself. She has every right to be upset, but she takes it out on others and manipulates them, and that's not okay, and the show depicts it that way. There are so many options for character arcs with these characters, too. They don't even have to be related to their flaws, they can be entirely external or related to something like relationships or interests. You can show someone working on their flaws, acknowledging that they're not perfect and they might be bad, but that they want to do better and actively try to do so; they don't avoid responsibility or blame others, they own up to it and do their best to improve. Hell, even just coming to the realization that you are responsible for your actions, not anyone else, and that you have to put in effort to change could be that arc. You can have someone get worse, whether an intentional path of bad decisions without regard for others or a failure to understand which decisions are right. Some people have redeeming traits, but still aren't redeemable. Some people don't get better. Some people still get better, but get worse first. There are so many real, relatable options that show the darker, uglier side of life that we so desperately want to experience and perceive (likely due to the cathartic and taboo aspects), and bringing up flaws and shortcomings and anything else in this context can start interesting conversations and challenge

us to think about things we may not have before, or from a new perspective.

[aizawaslovebot]

NOW PLAYING: the ex factor by iwaizumi hajime

—reader pronouns: he/him

—warnings: curse words ; had to be cut into two parts bec i want it that way ><

—summary: desperate times mean desperate measures, and y/n l/n is definitely the embodiment of desperate. eager to make his ex jealous for reasons undisclosed (read as: he's just petty), he asks his long-time best friend, iwaizumi hajime, to pretend as his boyfriend.

—note: the second part will be out in 3 days! VERY SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG WAIT UHU

TAGLIST: OPEN ; send an ask to be added even if you've already sent an ask back then!! because all that i could recall is @ohmygodronnie2020 and @beyond-the-mxxn

<- the sweetheart playlist | part i | part ii ->

Iwaizumi Hajime should’ve trusted his gut when it went crazy at the sight of you, Y/N L/N, whose eyes held a very mischievous glint that Iwa hated. He also should’ve turned you down immediately the moment you opened your mouth. Iwa definitely should’ve reprimanded you for roping him into this stupid plan.

Sadly, all he’s doing is crying over spilt milk.

He could remember it like it was yesterday. Years of dealing with Shittykawa meant that he knew when bullshit was about to happen. He thought going to California meant finally meeting someone who isn't an idiot on the daily. You were his contradiction. You were his idiot— basically like Shittykawa’s younger, much more mischievous brother.

Honestly, did Iwaizumi only attract idiots?

On the days you aren’t going on and on and on about why the government should be overthrown or why the both of you should buy a frog table for your shared dorm, he found you to be a nice guy. The people Iwa has met always had a hidden layer to them and you were one of them. Shittykawa was one too. Though Iwa wishes he didn’t introduce the both of you to each other— you become an unstoppable ball of everything annoying when you talk to each other.

But I digress. Iwa isn’t here to cry over why he only had chaos for best friends. Iwa is here because you, Y/N L/N, while you happened to be Iwa’s contradiction for all things he considered his norm, had asked him a very big favor.

“No,” Iwaizumi grunts, regretting even entertaining the male’s request. He could see your (h/c) hair bob as you groan out of frustration. Unbeknownst to the male, you were mulling over using what has to be Iwa’s biggest weakness: your very adorable puppy eyes.

“Iwa-chaaaan,” You sniff, putting on doe-eyes for Iwa to see, “I really want to make him jealous.”

Iwa sighs, subtly turning away so he didn’t have to see the tear-stained cheeks and the glossy eyes. The poor male was about to speak, pointing out that you had been influenced by Oikawa with the damn nickname, but he was cut off.

“He hurt me a lot, y’know?” You started to well up, for real this time, “I just wanted revenge…”

Iwa sighs again but he noticeably softens, opening his arms to let you cry while he hugs you. As you wept, you accepted his gesture and immediately let yourself be engulfed in your best friend’s arms. “You’ve yet to tell me why you two broke up, dumbass,” Iwa chided, though it was lighthearted.

“Zumi, is this your backhanded way of saying yes?” You asked, but your voice was muffled by his chest.

Iwa sighs for the nth time that day as he finally resigns to his fate, “Yes.”

That encounter was a week ago. You gave Iwaizumi enough time to prepare and regret his life choices. Honestly, he should’ve predicted that his idiot timed things perfectly so that your stupid plan would take place on the university-wide party the following week. Iwa could proudly say that most of his predictions were accurate and on point. Then again, his predictions were futile anyway— the best example could be his judgement on your then-boyfriend, Akuma Azamuku.

The brunette could clearly remember how he was able to discern more than enough red flags from just meeting the god forsaken guy. It was annoying how blind you could be when you’re heads over heels in love with the wrong people. Were you not really able to see how toxic this… Akuma guy is? Terrible name too, might he add. Iwaizumi would rather you date him than this devil spawn.

But he didn’t move a muscle. Iwaizumi didn’t move a muscle especially after that thought emerged from his head. What in Godzilla’s name was he thinking anyway?

Even if he could celebrate his on-point prediction on how much of an ass the spawn of Satan was, he couldn’t exactly bring himself to mock you with an angry ‘’I told you so!” Not when it meant that your damn ex-boyfriend cheated on you, covering it up by saying that he wasn’t actually gay. Not when it meant that you had been used. Not when it meant that you, his idiot, were hurt. His idiot was hurt.

“You’re being a martyr again, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tutted through the phone, tactlessly commenting once the brunette finished relaying what was going on.

The male snorted, “What are you on, this time, Shittykawa?”

“Don’t turn this on me, you idiot.”

How the hell was Iwaizumi the idiot? No. He’s lived with idiots his entire life but he wasn’t one. If anything, both of his friends were the idiots. Not him.

“Selflessly complying with dear (N/N)’s outrageous request, regardless of how much it hurts you. Tsk, Iwaizumi Hajime. You’re one big idiot,” Oikawa sighed.

Iwaizumi scoffs at his friend’s claim, “Why the hell will helping him out hurt me? Shittykawa, did you leave your single brain cell in Miyagi?” The brunette growls, annoyed at the way Oikawa avoided giving him the straight answer.

“Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi’s breath hitches as he hears the next words, “you’re in love with (N/N), aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi Hajime was, in fact, an idiot.

He was an idiot for realizing it much later than wanted; for allowing Shittykawa, of all people, to know this one fact before him; and for opening an avenue for bigger wounds because all he wanted was to help his best friend. He probably had to be the biggest idiot among the three— and that’s saying a lot… like more than a lot.

The soon-to-be trainer could hear his pro best friend sigh in response to his stunned silence. Iwa concludes that it was weird to be on the receiving end of a tired sigh but he doesn’t utter a word. Not even after Oikawa begins to speak again. “I can’t even bring myself to tease you tonight… or today… or whatever time it is there, Iwa-chan. What will you do now?”

Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to let himself get involved in petty things like this nor does he let himself go against judgement. That is, if you weren't in the question. The brunette was very sure that you were his contradiction— unknowingly forcing him to go against all the boundaries Iwa had set and done. You, also a trainer in the making, could easily be the death of Iwaizumi Hajime. But if it’s you, then he’d gladly embrace this death.

“I’m going.”

Those two words were a lot harder to say than the tired male liked to admit. So as he ends the dreadful phone call with Oikawa, he secretly hopes that next week will never come.

Even if Iwaizumi tried his hardest to deny, next week actually came. Not that it was a surprise. No one could stop the turning of time, the rotation of the Earth, nor the ticking of the clock. How the hell would he even stop next week from coming? Heck, Iwaizumi couldn’t even stop you from this stupid revenge quest that you had set.

Pretend to be his boyfriend, you said. It would be easy to do anyway, you said. We’ll be in and out in a jiffy, you said.

To hell with all the lies that you had promised. It was beyond Iwaizumi’s skills and strength to pretend to be someone you romantically loved when he actually wanted it to be true. The Aoba Johsai Iwaizumi would’ve dipped; Iwaizumi from last year would’ve never pushed through. But here he is, standing in front of the mirror in your shared dorm, preparing to do what he deemed an impossible feat.

You will always be Iwaizumi Hajime’s contradiction. And at this point, he isn’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing. All Iwa knows is that this will soon end and like the way next week came, tomorrow will soon be today.

So all Iwaizumi could do is psych himself up to do impossible— the same way he had convinced himself he was an ace in volleyball or the same way he gave himself assurance with his college application— and push through with the plan.

I can do this. I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, former volleyball ace and soon, an athletic trainer. I’ve dealt with Shittykawa all my life. I was able to get into a college in California by myself. This should be easy. I can do this.

“Should I wear this, ‘zumi?” You call out from the bathroom, holding two slightly different tops for Iwa to see. The way the brunette spluttered at the sight of a half-naked you was embarrassing to say the least, but Iwaizumi was thankful that you had been too engrossed to even notice the reddening of his ears. ‘God damn it, Hajime. Half-naked Y/N isn’t new,’ he chastised himself mentally as he coughs. “Use the darker one,” was Iwaizumi’s curt reply.

I can do this.

You should not have lit up at his answer like that. The sight gave Iwaizumi more joy than he liked to admit. Nothing could ever top what you said next though.

I c-can do this...

“Oh! This one matches yours too! We look good together, huh?”

I cannot do this.

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi sighs to mask his flustered state, “just shut up and wear it already.” You only laugh in response, already used to Iwaizumi’s brash way of dealing with things. “Alright, puddin’. Just wait. You can’t rush art,” You reply sarcastically, using the other nickname that Iwa had begun to dread.

Iwa resorts to the comfort of his phone— or rather, he uses the phone to conceal the undying pink on his cheeks so you wouldn’t see. Maybe if he spared a minute before he did so, he would’ve seen that you were equally flustered; seemingly embarrassed to have said what you had in their conversation. But it is what it is, and Iwaizumi has to continue his emotional constipation without ever knowing that had ever happened.

You take Iwa’s hand in yours before you lead Iwa out of your dorm and to wherever the god forsaken party was. “What’s with the skinship?” Iwa asks, though the way he adjusts the grip so it would be comfortable didn’t go unnoticed. Maybe he had started to like the prospect of this whole fake dating fiasco because it let him taste of what could’ve been instead of just wondering how it felt.

“Nothing you’re not used to, puddin’. And uh… uh… this way we could look like an actual couple,” You stammer and avoid eye contact, your hand still in Iwa’s warmth though.

If Iwaizumi hadn’t been too distracted, too haunted by the reminder that this was just pretend, then he would’ve noticed that you had seemed unsure, seemed too engrossed in the feeling of your hands together that you weren’t able to make a great excuse. He once again resigns to what has been destined. “The Y/N L/N I know doesn’t do things half-assed,” Iwa claims as he drops their hands, “By that logic this should be okay right? So people would really think we’re together.”

‘It isn’t okay,’ You croak internally. Iwa decided to go against all things normal by doing this… this very compromising position that ensured the two of you looked like nothing else but a couple. Iwa decided, despite not knowing how much damage it would bring to your poor heart, to wrap an arm around your waist.

Unknown to the soon-to-be trainer, you were just as, if not more, smitten with him as Iwa was with you. You almost revealed the reason behind your bad break-up and even let Iwa see that he had this much of an effect on you. So this, to see Iwa be so into the role of his pretend boyfriend, both flustered and somehow hurt you.

You didn’t know why it hurt though.

“You okay there, dumbass? ” Iwa asks, getting too close to your face and being far too concerned than your heart could’ve handled.

Everything about this was confusing. Both of your minds were having their own storms as the both of you stumbled upon this new, confusing field in between friendship and romance. Closeness with Iwa wasn’t new to you at all. Him lightly calling you dumb wasn’t new at all. So why, in God’s name, did your ribcage feel like breaking apart from the very loud beating of your heart?

If Iwa had to ask himself the same question he asked you, he would’ve gotten a big ‘NO’ from himself. Initiating skinship to this extent made Iwa’s brain malfunction. Not only that, but the feeling of your waist was very much heavenly and mind-boggling. To put a cherry on top of the sundae called “Iwaizumi Hajime’s gay panicking,” the speechless and cute expression you had was too much for his heart.

Turns out that you would answer the same as Iwa, not that the brunette knew though.

This plan of yours started on the right course. Your dick of an ex did cheat on you and you wanted to make him regret ever even thinking of using you as a scapegoat from his problems. It was common sense to ask for the aid of your best friend, right? He, of all people, would know you and understand you best. So when did your fake dating extravaganza take its turn? At what point did this plan converge into something different?

In other words, did you still want to make your ex jealous? Or did you want to see how it would feel to date your best friend?

Time did not let you answer the many questions that formed in your pretty head. Before either of you knew it, you’ve arrived at the party.

You turn to look at Iwa, who was somehow already gazing at you with that intense fire in his eyes, and nod.

It’s showtime.

—reblogging helps a lot !! thank you for reading !!

[eirikrjs]

As a fellow person who enjoys viewing and discussing media and art analytically, I salute your efforts to keep up intellectual discussion about Megaten. I've recently been quite frustrated about how a lot of fans respond to critique and discussion: dismissively, even aggressively. Along with some misguided new designs, it makes me worry for the future of the series. Do you think the tone of discussion among the fanbase has changed over the years, and if it has, why?

Thank you! I'm glad you feel similarly!

The tone of discussion has definitely changed over the years. I have been told by various people that the general discourse got worse after the release of SMT4 and a flood of new fans came in (i.e., including various factors I think are complex, the discourse shifted to terrible SMT4 memes instead of anything more meaningful).

I wasn't really that heavily involved with the general community at SMT4's release and didn't experience it until I wrote Identity Crisis. THEN I got the dismissive comments and so on and so forth as the thing I like the most about the series (demon designs) got more hopeless with each new installment. It will be something to see how things change after SMT5.

Ultimately, it's just about people liking different things. But the people who lose their minds over art criticism are more difficult to figure. They grasp at straws to find any flaw in Kaneko art to build an argument, like "why don't people criticize Mara? He's not really a penis!" and I'm like, "welcome to my attitude from years ago, bud." These "Kaneko also did it!" arguments can be funny because they are basically equating the thing they are defending as being equal to something they perceive as weak!

All I can say is that Kaneko's designs alone have provided YEARS upon YEARS of conversation and they keep things enjoyable. There's just so many layers to his approach we're still discovering. I'm not sure what those zealous defenders of Demeter or Idunn talk about in closed quarters, but it can't be too deep. Maybe all they have is the need to lash out at criticism. Who knows?