#i know they dont look very tough here all crying and shit but they will stand their ground

[oedonchapeldweller]

this little crybaby bitch is ALWAYS ruining their fucking mascara

[burnedwriter]

what type of roommate they are

A/n:college has been kicking my ass lately.These are small headcanons of what type of roommate they would be

warnings:fluff,mention of fighting,mentions of smoking weed and a bit of angst on zhongli’s part

🐋Childe/tartaglia

🐋Let’s start with that he’s the worst out of everyone on this list,not that hes moody or anything along the lines but because hes one of the messy ones,not only that but he also loves teasing you

🐋he will leave his stuff everywhere in the apartment and then you have to go pick them up one by one or else they will be left there for week upon on weeks ,you learned that lesson the hard way when he left one of his plates in his room and it got spoiled.

🐋He will always come back extremly drunk after he comes back from the parties he usaully goes,you will hear him stumble across the kitchen,the first time that happened you thought you were getting robbed.You usually help him with his hangover as you see him curled up in a ball.

🐋He is suprisingly a very good cook,he usually cooks for you if he sees that you are really tired and to make up for all his teasing as he says.

🐋Even if hes a little teasing piece of shit,he will always be there for you,if you need a shoulder to cry on or complain to him about your problems

🐋‘‘come on Ajax’‘you said dragging him in the apartment.

he was out on one of his usual parties when he called to come and pick him up since he was too drunk to drive himself back.

‘‘you are so heavy’‘struggling to carry him as you pushed him on the living room couche so he could la down and relieve the pressure from your should as you felt that you were going to get crashed by his weight.

‘‘my fucking head hurts’‘he groaned in pain covering his eyes with his forearms as they were too sensitive to the light.

‘‘stay here im going to bring you some water,do you need anything else Ajax’‘you asked him,as you marched towards the kitchen pouring him a glass of water and getting him a painkiller and returned to the living room.

Sitting up,he reached for the glass,taking small sip,he swallowed the painkiller before putting the glass back on the table.

His eyes still looking foggy from the headache still.

‘‘can you keep me some company untill the pain goes away?’‘he questioned,placing his head on your lap using your thighs as a pillow,looking up at you with puppy eyes to convince you to stay with him.

‘‘fine’‘you signed holding his head softly on your hands stroking his cheeks.after sometime passed you went to check up on him,looking down you were quickly greeted with an asleep ajax on your lap sleeping calmly.

🐉zhongli

🐉the best roommate someone can have

🐉Hes super clean and quiet the perfect combo,he usually studies in his room,and if you need any help with your assignments hes always there to help you and share his knowlage with you.

🐉Hes a clean freak,he cant stand things not being in their place or out of order,if he sees that you forgot something where it shouldnt be,he will always drop hints like ‘’i think you forgot something on the table’’ for you to come and pick it up

🐉Hes also an amazing cook,he cooks for the both of you,unlike the other people on this list ,zhongli has an expensive taste,you still dont know where he gets all this money from to make those expensive dishes.

🐉Hes also an amazing emotional support but unlike childe,he will actually give you good advices or help you through your tough times.

🐉zhongli was standing right outside your door,he was going to ask you if you wanted to go shopping with him when all of a sudden he heard crying coming from your room.

‘‘are you ok dear, can i come in,so we can talk?’‘ ’‘zhongli asked,knocking softly

‘‘no,but you can come in’‘you said from the other side,your voice still shaky from crying.

Entering the room,he sat next to you on your bed,placing a hand on your back trying to calm you down.

‘‘what happened may i ask?,if you want to of course, i will still stay here until you calm down’‘he said,reassuring you that he will still be there for you no matter the answer you give him.

‘‘i studied for this exam and still failed’‘tears creeping up from your eyes,as you explained the situation to zhongli.

‘‘its not the end of the world im sure you will learn from your mistakes,there is always a next time,im sure you will do better next time’‘he said with a soft smile on his lips,stroking your back softly.

His small speech giving you back the onfidence that you need,as you wipe your face with the sleeves of your shirt clearing yur vision.

‘‘you are probably right zhongli,there is alway a next time’‘you answered back at him with the same soft smile.

‘‘i was going to ask you if you want to come shopping with me,are you still up for the idea?’‘he questioned,waiting for an answer from you.

‘‘sure let me get ready first and we can go,i actually needed some new shoes’‘

💀xiao

💀Xiao is a unique roommate,hes not bad nor good,hes more like neutral.

💀he will lock himself in his room for hours upon hours on end and come out only if he needs to eat something or go to the bathroom.

💀he smokes weed,sometimes when you pass by his room,you can smell it through the door.You want to ask him to try some but you are too scared to ask him.

💀Hes not the best person to talk to but he is there for you if you need someone to talk to,just dont expect him to give you advices like zhongli does.

💀Both of you have smoked weed together,after finally gathering up the courage to ask him if you could smoke with him which he suprisingly shared with you.laying on xiaos chest his hand wrapped around you as the both of you passed the joint back and forth

‘‘wow take it easy there,its your first time and i dont want anything bad happening to you’‘he aid cautious,taking it quickly away from your hand before you could take another puff.

‘‘i will be fine dont worry’‘you said looking up at him.

‘‘no’‘his answer short and swift,as he took a puff.

‘‘i didnt know you were so chill’‘you stated

‘‘and what did you though about me’‘ he asked confused at your sentence as he continued to smoke.

‘‘well...i though you were one of those moody people that hated socializing,that’s why i was scared to talk to you,i felt a bit intimidated’‘you answered,now wrapping your own arm around his torso,hugging him.

‘‘oh’‘he looked shocked by your answer,catching him off guard

‘‘but i glad i gathered the courage and now we are friends’‘starting to slur over your word as you snuggled on his chest chest your mind starting to go blank as the effects of the drug started to kick in.

💨😒scaramouche

💨😒scara is one of the worst combos moody and sassy.You two fight a lot because of his subtle attitude which ends with you both locking yourselfs in your rooms

💨😒If you leave soemthing somewhere he will tell you something along the lines like ‘’arent you going to pick it up?’’ or ‘’its not going to clean itself’’.

💨😒he is really smart and a good student but refuses to help you if you are having trouble with any of your assignments,he will tell you ‘’google is free’’ and proceed to  continue reading his book,you could almost see the small smirk on the side of his mouth everytime he says it.

💨😒hes a good cook but he will ask you to clean the dishes right after he sees you finishing your food.

💨😒if he accidentally hurts you with something he said,he will immediatly apologise to you right after the both of you calmed down,he felt guilt overtake his body as soon as he saw tears threatening to escape your eyes

💨😒You two play a lot of video games together in your free time,one time he dared you to 1v1 him in his favourite game which you ended up winning and then you had a very salty scara asking you for a rematch.

💨😒sitting on the living room couche you both played,games for hours,you tried your best to win against scara but you were greeted yet again win the same scoreboard showing scara at the top and you on the buttom indicating your loss.

‘‘guess who won yet again’‘scara said with his usual sassy tone looking at you with a teasing smile.

‘‘its not fair!you cheated!’‘you yelled in response,pouting angryly.

‘‘i ‘’cheated’‘ sure’‘ he let out a breathy laugh at your angry expression.

‘‘i want a rematch and this time i want go easy on you’‘you demanded looking at him still pissed that you lost.

‘‘fine,but dont expect me to go easy on you either,like i did before,you asked for it afterall’‘he said with a smug expression on his face.

‘‘bet,prepare to loose then’‘

‘‘sure...’‘

[afaramir]

hiiii denethor anon here!! wow you’re really IN IT now (denethorposting). not to add more fuel to your anger but last week i saw someone say they hated denethor. and i just realised god they don’t get him even on tumblr do they. since then i’ve been silently fuming in rage. anyway… i am very Very Intrigued by both your faramir-goes-to-rivendell-au and denethor-thorongil relationship (if you ever want to write another 800 words about this, i am here for it 👀) and this line “each of them sharpens himself upon the whetstone of the other…” fuck. fucking insane actually.

unfortunately i won’t be replying for several days (i’ve had to keep my phone in another room to keep myself from getting distracted) . my exams have started AND i’m going through some shit irl :( it’s alright tho i’ll have more Faramir and Denethor Hours soon <- chanting this constantly haha. but i am with you when denethorposting IN SPIRIT okay. oh and can we please please please have denethor december? 🙏 bye will be here soon after my exams (that will be after the 23rd march i’m afraid)

hiii denethor anon <333 i am SO sorry this is so late truly attempting to figure out how to write AND see my friends AND do things like clean my apartment and go to the grocery store while working The Job...it has eaten my life. and this week my regular coffee shop switched their hours bc i live in my old college town and they are on spring break and it has sent me directly to hell. the death of My Routine…i have coped by INCESSANTLY denethorposting on tumblr dot com. i am somehow EVEN MORE in it than i was when you sent this ask. i hope you enjoy me being truly crazyinsane whenever you get a chance to look at all those posts lol. would love 2 hear your thoughts on them. but ANYWAY as always it is so lovely to see you, i'm sorry things have been tough but truly with my whole heart i bestow upon you the strength of denethor's sixty-year psychic war (with none of the associated madness) to make it through. looking at the date i hope you are free now.

here is the mandated readmore because i have never met brevity in my whole life. u said write another 800 words and i took that as a challenge um this post is like 2000 words. well...back on my bullshit

i mean this with all the love and joy in my heart but i laughed so much. no my dear friend they do not get him on tumblr. they have not gotten him on tumblr from the beginning. if you have been spared the incessant tomato jokes i truly…[crying] I Wish I Were You So Bad. this guy doesnt even know about the tumblr denethor slander (POSITIVE) (YEARNING). its the trenches out here for real. i just live in my little bubble with me and you and like four other mutuals/Denethor Understanders and that is it.

speaking of denethor and the rivendell au. i miss the days when i was working on the faramir-in-gondor scenes. emotionally it felt like dying but i kind of knew what was going on. now i am in rivendell taking and failing this history of middle earth exam. and i am so very….the next time we see denethor for real is in return of the king. now girl…how will i survive another 80k words. i miss my boy my dear darling my tortured victim of the narrative. and according to the paragraph i just wrote faramir does too but is Refusing to admit it to himself<3

im also RIDICULOUSLY torn on how i want to resolve his arc. now just between you and me. and anyone who bothers to click that read more. I DONT WANT TO KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO LIVE. GOD I WANT HIM TO LIVE. I WILL WRITE YOU A THOUSAND HAPPY ENDINGS. except its not a happy ending its a you are not allowed to die you are forced to contend with your choices you must keep living ending. because he will always be tragic no matter what. but its ALSO a you can rest now you can be at peace son of gondor you have won your war. all you sacrificed has been worth it. you have given your all when that's what duty asked you for and it has been enough. and that makes my poor heart weep.

like on one hand the idea of resolving his storyline with faramir.......the opportunity for some kind of reconciliation, some kind of understanding between them...god. delicious. i know in my heart that faramir comes home and IS the lord that denethor once dreamed of being. not playing at it...he is high and lordly and gentle and the world bends around his will and he knows exactly what to bow to and when to stand his ground and his powers are honed to a keen edge that he uses with the utmost care and. AUGH. he walks into the citadel the IMAGE of his father. it makes me feel FERAL. and how would denethor react to that. man.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HOW DO I END THE STORY. like. LOL. do u know what i mean. likelihood of me being able to just have a triumphant coronation and tie it all up with a bow is soooo small. the narrative contortions i would have to go through. to have denethor accept that and still be in character. Girl....no thank u <3 so we havent worked THAT out yet. like how much of the madness and despair do i want to put into the narrative. We Shall See. IM not politically savvy enough to get real into the weeds with it all so im kind of rotating just. a beautiful set of reunions with the fellowship. eowyn and faramir get engaged. boromir and faramir see all their dreams of a gondor restored come true. we skate over the political minefield and deeply navigate the beginnings of denethor and faramir's relationship in this new world. and among it all, within it all, is hope, and a new dawn. and curtain.

i got distracted but re: we are in rivendell. it IS kind of fun to think about the themes and narratives. i am pushing my Let Faramir (And Denethor) Be Numenorean + Let Numenoreans Be Weird agendas so so sooo hard and i am having the time of my life with that specifically. birds follow him around and pick up the tunes he sings. he hears the voices of the people he loves in his head. he falls into a river and after having a breakdown about it promptly decides that The River Is Testing Him And He Has Passed. he gets to rivendell and INSTANTLY knows that there is someone Very Like Him Here (its elrond. the elrond-elros-faramir connection has me FROTHING at the mouth. faramir looks at elrond and sees his father and sees every statue of elros in minas tirith and Knows that this here is the son of earendil, gil-estel, his brightest north star. elrond looks at faramir and sees his brother, his dear dead doomed brother, and every numenorean descended from him and all their sins and all their glories and yet, kind as summer, sees beauty and knowledge and a strange quiet man who carries all the weight of his country on his shoulders and yet knows him, knows the legends; perhaps the blood of numenor is not yet spent in the south)

i just think that Every Elf that meets faramir along the way is like woah...hold up. there's something up with THIS guy! men ARENT supposed to do that! not anymore anyway! galadriel is Lowkey Threatened by him. and isnt that beautiful. woman who could be queen of the earth sees god's special chosen boy and goes hang on a minute. Fuck. i think they work out their shit by the time the company leaves lothlorien but like...just thinking about how faramir lowkey blamed her for boromir's death in rotk! idk how their dynamic is exaclty gonna manifest but there's definitely some sort of similar mindreader2mindreader tension!

AND. um the idea of faramir travelling with the fellowship discovering that maybe...well. he has never wanted to be a warrior but he has been honed into a blade anyway. by his father and by necessity. and perhaps for the first time in his life...outside of gondor he does not need to be all that. he can be mithrandir's pupil without censure he can be scholarly and witty and cunning - he is all these things, in gondor. but there he has to be them, and now he can discover that yes, this is what he wants to be. and he has never let his father and the expectations of his position STOP him but there is always a weight, there is always the knowledge that your actions are disapproved of, and being away from that for a while is i just think. really good for him. see above re: he comes home the image of his father in a gentler time. keep honking im sitting in my car crying about denethor ii twenty sixth steward of gondor.jpg (<- my greatest creation PLEASE click the link lol)

ALSO IM THRILLED YOU LIKED THAT WHETSTONE LINE LOL i kind of blacked out when i typed it on the page. i think truly the crazy thing about denethor and faramir is that they SHOULD understand each other. they know so much about each other and yet are so incompetent at actually putting it to any good use towards, you know, improving their relationship. faramir is incredibly emotionally intelligent AND can read minds AND has taken so many of what he probably views as denethor's worst traits and turned them to gentler uses. (im talking about his powers but im ALSO talking about that thing he does when he encounters frodo and sam where he plays woe is me my brother is dead and i miss him sooo much to get on their good sides. yes of course he misses boromir more than anything else in the world. no he is not above using it to his advantage. and we see the SAME THING when gandalf and pippin come to minas tirith. hey isn't it crazy that both of them use boromir as a. manipulation chip. even after he's dead. hey thats kind of fucked up actually!) and denethor is…well denethor is denethor. ok im mostly messing around and thought that sentence was funny. i think he Knows most everything that goes on in faramir's head and yet Wilfully Chooses to interpret it in the worst ways because its just soo....very I Thought I Raised You Better Than That/I Honed You To Be My Blade Stop Defying Me. and despite all that the Problem is that they understand each other right up until they don't. they know how THEY feel about each other (incredible love that they can only express in the worst ways/think they're expressing only to be spurned by the other) but cannot POSSIBLY imagine that the other feels the same way.

ive gone on for SO SO LONG ALREADY LOL but. what do i have to say about denethor and thorongil. not enough and too much all at once. they're so toxic and awful for each other they're MADE for each other they're beautiful narrative parallels they're homoerotic besties they're bitter rivals they're pawns in a proxy war they're locked at all times in a psychic psychosexual situationship. um the enemy of my enemy is kissing me with tongue. idk i have more symbolism and actual analysis especially of the denethor-ecthelion-thorongil Issue. but we are just getting into it. so i will start with the situations bc i have two angles for this. on one hand i do think it is very fun if they constantly homoerotically circle each other for years and years and never do a THING about it. like...this is a stitching up wounds wiping blood off each others faces battle couple/situationship situation that THEN turns into a ridiculously high functioning political rival partnership bent together over books long into the night catching each others eye in council meetings using their very real disdain for each other for Manipulation Purposes and getting uh. SO hot over it. like.....Do You Know What I Mean. just. truly unresolved sexual tension THROUGH THE ROOF. it DELIGHTS me. they are always putting themselves in situations. and then NOT making out about it. AND THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS!! THE WHOLE TIME!! SO THEY KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH THEY WANT EACH OTHER AND STILL ARENT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!! like thats just really good. but on the other hand.......the idea of just an absolutely terrible beautiful toxic rivals with benefits codependent situationship. i hate you so much and you know what we DO need to make out about it. every time they fuck it is a power play and they are having SO much fun with it. they will both start arguments with each other (AND IN PUBLIC TOO) just so they can fight and make up. the mind reading...Oh You Know What I Mean. taylor swift voice we had this big white city all to ourselves we blocked the noise with the sound of i need you and for the first time i had something to lose! logically thorongil is not yet in his grubby ranger era but the idea of him being dirt smeared all the time and hanging out with prim proper polished denethor. in the fic (which does exist and DOES follow the second model) theres a scene where hes just chilling with his head in denethor's lap and denethor is actually rather delighted and devoting ALL of his copious braincells to pretending not to be. Man. well never say im not a slut for contrast. and now the rest of what i could say is simply straight up redacted for indecency so it is time for this post to be over. the last thing i have to say is that it absolutely ruins denethor's life forever when thorongil up and leaves. sometimes a situationship....anyway. MUCH LOVE TO YOU AS ALWAYS yes we will have denethor december i already have an url saved.

[madaboutmunson]

Again - Part 20

Part 1 | Part 19 | Part 21 | Full list of Again series links inc AO3 Link

Before reading this chapter, please take the time to read the notes below

Hi 👋

I dont normally put warnings on this fic, because generally speaking its fluffy, funny, romantic and sweet, right? However this next chapter is why I started writing this story in the first place. It was always going to end up here. Its the reason the story is set when it is, and where the foreshadowing has been leading to. It was to explore something that has been on my mind since season 1 of the show. How that kind of trauma, gets brushed under the carpet, by some characters.

I dont want to spoiler this chapter or next few too much, but its a tough time, right from the first few lines.

I can however assure you that the eventual ending of this story will be happy (I wrote one fic with an unhappy ending and I dont think, I'll ever do that again, because i'm a sensitive little soul. I love that other people write things like that, its just not something that I want to do write now. Not to these versions of these characters).

I'm going to write this in such a way that, when we eventually get back to the sweet stuff, you wouldnt have had to read these less happy chapters to carry on. This is just in support of all the readers that dont enjoy the sad stuff. I have days like that too :)

So the main warnings here are:

Hospital setting

Mention of someone passing away

References to past trauma

Vague references to very real world events that happened in 2001

Vague mention of potential school incident

Canon-typical violence

Canon-typical horror

Canon-typical threat

Steddie fic where Steve and Eddie are in their mid 30's and everyone has sort of drifted apart

Taglist: @adaed5 @grtwdsmwhr @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mightbeasleep, @jewellthebooknerd, @fentiibratzz @rvllybllply2014

================================================

Steve pushes the hospital tray of food away from him as his eyes fill with tears again.

"Anything?" He asks, his voice trembling to a concerned and solemn-looking Jenny. She shakes her head and closes her eyes regretfully.

"No, Steve. I'm sorry." She says sadly. She pushes the food tray back towards him, "Please, just something, alright? The kids will ask. Don't make me lie to them, ok?" He can hear the pleading in her voice, and the guilt washes over him. He had to keep it together and try not to be selfish about this. After all, this was his fault. 

He picks up the spoon and moves the food around a little before selecting a spoonful to eat, the pads are stuck to his chest, and the wires shift uncomfortably as he sits up a little more in an attempt to be an adult about this. He just had to accept it and move on. For a while there, he had everything, but his luck had finally run out.

He looks up at Jenny momentarily, "Sorry," he says genuinely, but shame won't let him keep eye contact, "You shouldn't be here. You should be at home resting."

"Yeah, well, if the shoe was on the other foot, Steve, I know you'd be here too. Right by my side. You're not just the father of my children. You're one of my best friends. No way, I'd let you deal with this alone." She says, reaching forward and rubbing his arm.

Steve's lip trembles, "I'm so sorry!" He blurts out before covering his mouth to quieten the sobs that erupt from him. Uncontrollable, breathtaking, painful sobs until he's crying so hard he can't see.

"Steve, it's ok. I understand. We all understand, ok? Everything went to shit yesterday for everyone, not just you. Just...your problems, well, they landed you here. That's all." She tries to reassure him, swallowing nervously. He can tell by the look on her face she pities him.

"I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I shouldn't have done those things. What's wrong with me? I've ruined everything, Jen! Everything!!" Steve has felt sadness many times in his life, but he's not sure if his emotional problems are manifesting his sorrow into actual physical pain. His body hurts from crying so hard and for so long. Since he woke up, the only time he hadn't cried was when his kids were in there. He still had enough grit to keep it together around them.

"You don't know that, Steve." She tries to console him, but he can see her holding back her tears. As he scans her face, he wonders if she was sad to see him finally broken like this, or was it because she knew the pain of accepting something you gripped onto so tightly was rapidly slipping out of your hands, and you had no way to stop it? Not now. Steve feels the frustration build up in him. If everything was gonna be ok, Eddie would be here. He'd be right here next to him, but he wasn't. There was just a loud empty space where Eddie should be, and it taunted Steve with the fact he made it empty.

"Then why isn't he here?!" Steve yells at the other empty seats in the room before crumbling again. "Why isn't he here?" He says more softly before another torrent of tears and sobs wash over him, and he hides his face in his hands. His heart hurts. Though it may as well not be there at all.

"Steve, you need to try and keep calm, alright? If not for your own sake, for mine, and for the kids. We can't lose you. We need you here, ok? I can only imagine how scary this all is, but we don't know, ok. I appreciate that's not super helpful, but it's better than it definitely being the worst-case scenario, right?" She tries again, and Steve hangs his head, wiping away his tears.

"Sorry." He says again.

"Listen, stop that. Stop apologising. You've said sorry so many times now, Steve. I forgive you. We all do." She says, patting his hand."In all the years we've known one another, even when we were really struggling, you never, ever raised your voice to me like that. Not once. I should have known then. I should have sent Val over when that happened, but I was such a mess too, Steve. I didn't know what to do."

Steve manages to calm down a little and look into her eyes, speaking softly, “Jen, please, this is not your fault, ok?” He swallows the lump in his throat, “Like, I know worse things are happening in the world. Things that make no sense. Someone running out on me because I did something so awful, at least that seems reasonable. It’s just hard right now, but I’ll get over it.” Jenny leans over and clasps his hand in both of hers.

“Someone? He’s not just someone. We don’t even know if he ran out for sure, though, Steve. Yeah, he sounded scared, but that could have been for a million different reasons for him yesterday, ok?” Steve shakes his head. He appreciates her trying, but he knows the terror he saw on Eddie’s face. He’s seen it before, fifteen years ago—pure fear. Jenny’s shoulders sink, she tilts her head, and her expression falls to sadness, “You’d give up. Just like that?” She asks, her voice cracking a little.

Steve looks down at the wires on his chest to avoid her eyes. He didn’t want to give up. He’d follow Eddie to the ends of the earth if he had to, but not under these circumstances, not when he would be…unwanted.

He pulls his hand from hers and gently pats her, “You need to rest, Jen. This is too much for you. I’d feel better if you just went home, ok?” She shakes her head defiantly with a sweet frown. “You want me to feel even worse than I do right now? What if this all makes you stressed out and sick, huh? You want that on my conscious too?” Steve puts on fake air of annoyance. He’s not mad with her, not at all, but he just wanted to be on his own for a while. “I’m fine. Look at me. I’m all plugged in!” Steve says, gesturing at the machines, widening his eyes at her in an irritated stare. Searching her eyes, he knows she isn’t really buying his performance, but she respects his wishes.

Jenny reaches into her bag and pulls out a cell phone, “Look, I know you can't use that in here, and the phone lines are still messed up, but if anything, Steve, just call or message me, or Val, or whoever.” She passes it over to him. “It’s not exactly the same phone, but the guy in the shop managed to get your old sim card in this one, so it's got all your old numbers and messages.” She gives him a smile that reads half hopeful, half pity and turns to leave. Steve puts the phone face down on the tray in front of him. It wasn’t even on, but just knowing that messages from Eddie were in there was almost too much. Like he was afraid, they would magically appear on the screen to taunt him and twist the daggers littering his heart. Jenny stops just before the door and turns back to him, “Don’t give up, Steve. Not until you know for sure. That's not you.” She gives him a final last smile and leaves.

Steve slumps back against the pillows,  he tries to focus on the TV in his room, but it is doing little to help him. His vision blurs as if he is looking beyond the screen, and his mind plunges him back into yesterday. He should fight it, but he almost wants it. He wants to feel that pain again because it's what he deserves. Let it feast on him so the hurt could drown out the shame. It couldn’t be anywhere close to the amount of pain his betrayal caused Eddie and Jenny yesterday.

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, Eddie had got a call from one of Jack's kids letting him know Jack had sadly passed away, and Eddie being who he is, had elected to go to be at Wayne's side immediately. Wayne had told him emphatically not to do that. He told him to give him a few hours to sort things out. Steve knew it was because he needed Eddie to calm down and wake up before he drove over there, and honestly, Eddie was going through a kaleidoscope of emotions. He was mad he had to hear it from the kids. He was frustrated Wayne had told him not to go. He was sad to have lost Jack, but he was also relieved that Jack was not suffering anymore, which filled him with guilt.

With the kids at Jenny's, there was no hurry to get them ready for school, so Steve took that time to soothe Eddie a little, make him feel good, and feel cared for, and once Eddie was back to a place where he wasn't pinballing between in his emotions, Steve made him breakfast and suggested maybe he go into work, make sure they can survive a week or so without him, and then collect Wayne and bring him back to theirs. He could have a guest room or the RV. There was lots of space, and they'd figure out something when the kids returned on Sunday. Eddie looked at him so softly with those big soulful eyes and smiled, "I'm so lucky to have you, babe." And Steve wishes that that had been the last time he'd seen Eddie that day. So he could have stayed Eddie's own personal Superman.

To save overly fretting, Steve had taken Beans for a long walk, mainly to kill time and to just breathe in the cool autumn air. He thought it might alleviate his own sorrows. He imagined how Wayne would feel right at that moment, he had already lost Jack in one way, but now he was gone, never to return. No mystical, time-altering, alternate dimension that he could return from, no time for him to get better and come home. He was gone, and nothing anyone could do could change that. There would be no second chance for Wayne and Jack. He selfishly turns the situation into his own. And at the mere possibility of one element of that happening to him and Eddie, an uncomfortable lump of emotion settled into his throat, his stomach swirled with nausea, and he felt his eyes brim with tears.

He pauses for a moment.

Initially, the walk through the reddening leaved trees did help, and everything seemed it would be ok until it suddenly wasn't. They were still fairly deep in the woods when they could hear sirens and the screeching of tires. As they emerge back into the neighbourhood, Steve notices a difference in Beans. She was tense and pulling on the lead, which wasn't her at all. She strained towards the first house, not entirely forcing Steve over there, which she could have done relatively easily. She was so strong.

Steve would never usually look into someone's house, but Bean's level of concern worried him. In the first house, he saw a man and woman holding one another tightly, their faces etched with something between fear and sorrow. Having assessed no one was in danger, Steve feels he's stumbled upon someone's personal tragedy and quickly pulls Beans away and continues the walk home, but then more things start to develop around him. Audible sobbing came from other open windows he'd passed. One of the bigger houses lowers its patriotic flag, and the thing that kicks Steve into a thunderous run home is when he overhears a woman shout to her husband, who had his hands to his head in the yard, "I can't get through. I can't get through to the kids". He rushes past the house and pulls out his cell. He tries to call Jenny. Busy tone. He tries to call Val. The line doesn't even ring. He tries to call Eddie, but it's more of the same.

Even in his top-speed run, it takes them another twenty minutes or so to get home. He is sweating heavily from the run, but simultaneously, an ice-cold chill runs up his spine. As he bursts through the front door, he dumps his keys and Bean's leash. He doesn't even remove it and heads straight to the phone, not even closing the door. He tries everyone again, but he can't get through.

Steve feels his already thudding heart begin to speed up with panic, his breathing shallower. He keeps trying on the phone, and a million terrible scenarios run through his head. What would affect everyone around here? Why was that woman shouting about her kids? It's gotta be a school incident. The thought of which soon has panic is swirling his stomach, forming a lump in his throat, tears he refuses to shed forming and stinging his eyes. Not my kids. Please, god, not my kids. He prayed wordlessly to whoever or whatever was listening.

Then it finally happens the phone line rings.

"Hello?" He says, trying to hide his panic.

"Oh god, Steve! Oh god!" Jenny's hysterical voice comes over the phone. No, no. Please, god, no. Steve squeezes his eyes shut and braces himself for a horror worse than he's ever felt.

"Jenny, listen to me. I need you to calm down. Tell me what's going on, ok?" Steve desperately tries to hold it together, his mind a rapid slide show of his children's faces, as he grips tightly onto the back of the chair.

"It all just happened so fast. First, there was one, and then whilst they were showing it another, and now…" she breaks down again, and Steve can't take this any more. A frustrated rage begins to swell up in him like a tidal wave about to crash down on the nearest bystander.

"Jenny!" He yells aggressively down the phone, "Where the fuck are my kids?! Where are they?!" There is a silence that must last two seconds, if that, but it feels like forever. 

When she replies, her voice still tearful but quieter and with a tone of realisation, "Val's gone to get our kids, Steve."

"Why is Val fucking going there to get my kids?! You call me!! Me, Jenny! Fucking Me. Ok?! " Steve pokes himself in the chest roughly. "I protect them! Me!" He feels a sting of pain in his arm and chest, and he has to wipe the beads of sweat from his brow.

"Steve," she says in a severe tone, "The kids aren't in danger. We just wanted to get them out of school and home." The words ring through his head, and his body folds into the nearest chair. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, instantly regretting his outburst.

"I thought…I just…Fuck...I thought something bad had happened. I panicked." He tries more calmly, but it's not an apology.

Jenny's sobs start up again, "Something awful has happened, Steve, but we're all ok, but…um…turn on the TV, Steve. I'm sorry" The panic starts to rise in Steve again. Was it Eddie, is he hurt? No, no. That wouldn't affect everyone in the neighbourhood unless it was some kind of tragic massive collision. Eddie should be at work or on his way to see Wayne. The thundering in his chest starts up again, and now he has the searing pain of indigestion, possibly from all that running. "Don't put the phone down, Steve. I'm right here, ok?" She tries to calm him through her waves of emotion.

Steve pulls the phone as far as he can into the next room to see the TV. He grabs the remote and switches the TV on. The sight that met his eyes was unbelievable. He double-checks the corner of his screen to see that he hasn't stumbled upon a movie. He flicks through the news stations, and it's all the same view. A view he knows well. A view he's seen from one of his Dad's offices a few times. A view where something should be that isn't. A snowfall that wasn't snow at all. Billowing smoke of grey and black engulfed the streets and sky. Standing with his eyes and mouth wide open, he whispers into the handset, "Jesus Christ," and the cell phone in his pocket rings. He answers it quickly, and his eyes flick back to the screen.

"Oh my god, babe, are you alright? I've been trying to get through for ages now!" Eddie's voice crackles down the line. Steve opens his mouth to reply, but everything rushing at him is terrifying. Not even Eddie's voice brings him comfort. Not only is it distorted by the phone line, but it is riddled with panic. The second of respite he does get is just knowing Eddie is still in the world. Not that he was anywhere near all of this.

"Steve? Can you hear me? This fucking piece of shit phone, I swear to Christ!! Steve? Baby? Can you hear me? Are you ok?" His voice of desperation and frustration surges down the phone into Steve's ear and breaks him out of his stupor.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. All good. Kids are on their way to Jenny and Val's. I…I just…uh…" Steve puts on his mask, but the visuals from the TV start looking different. More vivid. He swears he sees a lightning flash.

"Ok…" Eddie didn't sound like he was buying it, "You've got Beans there with you, right, honey?" Eddie says, but his voice is fading. As Steve cautiously approaches the TV, the smoke spreads out, almost like it's one of those 3D movies.

"Yeah…Beans is here," Steve says in a distracted, quiet voice, without looking, but suddenly he can feel her pawing at him and shoving him with her nose.

"Steve?" Eddie asks again, and Beans starts barking, "Ok, listen. I'm gonna need you to turn off the TV and hold tight until I get back, ok. I've just left work to go get Wayne, and once I've got him, I'll come straight to you, ok, babe?" Steve nods to respond, "Can you do that, Steve? Just turn it off, ok? I don't think it's a good idea to be watching it on your own." 

Steve can hear his words perfectly well this time, even if he is a little far away sounding. "Uh-huh. I will…I just…" Beans' barking is getting louder and more insistent. It's starting to irritate him because it's overloading his senses. "Hold on a second." Steve's eyes, still trained on the TV, ushers Beans out of the door and shuts it."Sorry, I will. I'll turn it off, sure," he lies. Something about the disaster on screen was pulling him in.

That's when the channel switching starts.

Eddie's voice falls away from him entirely as the smoke seems to drop out of the screen into his living room in tall plumes. He looks around like being surrounded by a three-sixty version of the window from Hawkins High School. When he saw those impossibly tall chimneys of smoke for the first time. When the Upside Down started spilling into their world, along the cracks in the ground, making way for otherworldly horrors to traverse into Hawkins.

The panoramic window falls away from his sight, and he gingerly reaches out towards the smoke. Black and grey particles fall gently in the spaces in between. Looking around, he feels like he is in some horrific snow globe, and it's not long before something gives it all a shake, and Steve falls to the floor, bumping his head a little on the table. As he stands and brushes himself down, he realises he's not in his walking gear anymore. Instead, he's fitted with protective clothing decorated with weapons.

His living room is gone. The ground under his feet is cold and hard. A multitude of roars fill his ears in the distance. His breathing is panicked, the coat buckles across his chest and his arms tighten hard with a squeeze. 

Then the vines come, they creep along the floor towards him, up and over him, rapidly wrapping around him until he can see nothing and can only feel the tightness around his body as he yells to be released, but soon a vine clamps over his mouth to put a stop to that also. He's being dragged somewhere he can't see, and as the vines begin to release and open, he hears a swooping and screeching and soon his scars sear with incredible pain as the demo bats descend on him, tearing into his flesh. He waits to meet his demise. Waits for the tail to wrap around his neck, but this time, he is alone. No friends in sight. No rescue at the last second. However, it doesn't come. Instead, he is outside the Creel house. The vines and bats disperse, allowing him to get to his feet outside the door. He knows what is beyond. He has to destroy him this time. For his friends. For his family. For everyone, even himself. He reaches behind to grip his bat or axe, but his hand meets air. The weapons that littered his outfit are gone. 

Steve looks over his shoulder, and for a moment, he thinks about it. Running. He can't beat this man, this monster, unarmed, with no powers, but he has to try. He can't let this apocalyptic nightmare leave this place. He has to stop it. He has to protect his children. This can't be their reality. He has to keep them safe.

Steve rolls his shoulders and takes a deep breath, stepping forward. The doors and windows get sucked and snapped backwards inside the house. He peers into the darkness placing his foot on the stairs. The darkness moves, curves and warps, and thousands of spiders spill out of the empty frames of the house. Despite how scared he is, the spiders don't bother him at all. They leave the house in droves, a purpose only they know and as they pass him, they combine together and grow in size. Great hulking, demonic versions of themselves striding into the dark plumes of smoke, no doubt to destroy the world beyond. Back Home.

He turns his attention back to the doorway, steels himself and barges through. He knows where he has to go, the attic. With the vines missing this time, his ascent is more straightforward, but not without moments of trouble. When his boot gets stuck on one of the stairs when the house starts shaking, and some debris from above him comes crashing down but narrowly misses him. The demodogs that jump out at him but seem preoccupied with making noise, warped whimpers, and leaving the house rather than attacking him.

As he rounds the last few stairs, he reaches out and grabs a tall floor lamp. He wields it like his trusty baseball bat, and his heart is fiercely pounding in his chest, the sweat is pumping out of him, and his clothing pulls painfully tight against him again. 

He sees before him, Vecna. Held aloft by his vines. Eyes closed, focused on something else. Steve closes his eyes too for a moment, a last look at his loved ones. This could be the end of everything. His last chance to see them, to remember them. His mind swims with the faces of his friends from before and his friends now. The smiling faces of those closest to him now, Val, Jenny, Eddie and last of all, Mackenzie and Corey, laughter etched in their faces, and it rings in his ears like they are right there with him. 

He swallows the emotion down and uses it to fuel the fire within himself. He'd end this evil monster or die trying. He screws up his face in a deep frown, draws back the lamp and, with a roar, charges headlong at Vecna to take a swing.

Time slows, and inches from contact, the lamp is frozen in space and time, and a monstrous voice echoes around him. "Steve, what do you think you are doing?" Vecna's eyes open suddenly the lamp flies out of Steve's hands into the darkness and out of his reach. Steve scrambles around for something, anything, but he has nothing, only himself. 

The vines plugged into Vecna detach and wrap around Steve, "I had to come back for you," Vecna sneers at him mockingly as he stalks towards him, his distorted hand outstretched.

"I won't let you win!" Steve rages, "I won't. I'd rather die!"

"Look at me, Steve," Vecna replies, his eyes boring into Steve's. "Please, look around. Look at what you are doing." He growls as the vines tighten around him, and the disproportionate hand stretches over Steve's head. "Come back to me, Steve. Where you belong."

A second wind, a last-ditch attempt, some forgotten rage within him, ignites, and with all his might, Steve breaks free of the vines around him and shoves Vecna backwards. Once he's stumbling back, Steve grabs hold of him and charges with him into the wall. Slams him against it.

"I will end you. I am going to stop your evil before it spreads. I won't let you hurt them. I protect them! Me! I won't let you hurt them." He thuds him against the wall again, "Even if all I have to help me do it are my fists!" he yells. He quickly presses his forearm against the evil being's throat and draws back his other fist. He swears to himself then and there that he won't stop until Vecna is dead and gone and everyone he loves is safe again.

"Steve," is all Vecna says as Steve lands the first blow, which misses him somehow, and Steve's fist hits the wall to the side of his head. Frustration wells up in him as he feels the monster of a man pushing back against him. Writhing and grabbing at him desperately. He knows he has him now. He can do this. He can stop all of this. Steve pulls back his fist again, which is throbbing already from the impact of the wall, and just before he sends it forward, he feels a pinch in his side.

Steve blinks a few times, and the channel flickers, something familiar comes into view again. He thinks he can see his wallpaper. Steve shakes his head. It's just one of his mind games.

"Steve, please!" The dark wizard beseeches him, and Steve sees his expression change, no longer an intimidating sneer or cold stare but one of fear. He looks closer, and the shape of his eyes changes, rounder, softer, darker somehow. "You don't have to do this, Steve!" he chokes out; this time, his distorted voice was intertwined with something else.

Steve blinks a few more times, frozen in place. Not easing up, but also not throwing the readied blow he has hanging in the air. Then something totally bizarre happens. The house shakes again, but everything starts to dissolve. The old wooden lined walls melt away to reveal his wallpaper and his windows. The floorboards beneath him no longer crumbling but carpeted. His heart still beating impossibly fast, pain surging through his arms and chest. Steve raises his eyes to Vecna, only to not see him at all but to see Eddie.

Eddie's eyes are wide open, his face purpling, pure fear etched into it. His hands clutching at the forearm cutting off his air supply. Next to his head is a hole in the wall, and Steve's arm is still firmly pressed into his throat.

"Oh god." Steve's voice whispers in a tremble of terrible realisation, "What have I done?" He tries to say, but it's garbled. He looks around frantically and immediately releases Eddie.

The pain stabs into him again, shooting up his arm, and the last thing he remembers is clutching his chest and Eddie stumbling out of the front door. 

Then it's just nothing. 

Then he woke up here.

He slumps forward again, head in his hands, and he lets the tears overwhelm him and flow as free as they'd like. No one was here to see it. Finally, he looks up at the ceiling and releases a guttural wail of remorse. Grieving what he had only yesterday, right there in the palm of his hand, he had everything he could wish for, and now in its place, a crumbling pile of bitter ashes. 

His mind lets him go back to that fortuitous meeting at the library, and then it's a sped-up movie of them rekindling something. Something he didn't even know was anything more than an unrequited crush but blossomed into something beyond his expectation, and all he had to do was tend it, keep it alive. The magic was in the people around him. Steve reasons because he is broken. He failed again. Just like he failed with Jenny. He'd always fail at this, yet again, he'd pulled the people he cared most about down with him.

As his mind cycles through every step of him and Eddie falling in love, it cruelly shows him all the tenderness, the looks, the words, the touches, the kisses, the laughter, the desperately intimate moments. His own brain mocks him torturously with all the things he'd never have again now. This is what you could have had, Steve, but you're just too messed up. You don't deserve this. You're worthless. A stain on your family name, just like your Dad said.

How could he have fucked so much up so quickly? In a matter of hours. Sure, he hadn't meant to hurt or scare Eddie, he'd never want to do that, not ever, but it still didn't take away the fact he had. All because he was so screwed up in the head. Eddie had only asked recently about getting some medical treatment and if Steve had just done it. Just booked it. Just gone to see someone as soon as he could. Maybe none of this would have happened. None of that mattered now. How could Eddie ever trust him again after that? He'd betrayed him in the worst possible way. He couldn't see it was him, blinded by hallucinations. All he could think about was looking at it from Eddie's point of view. 

Eddie would have seen the person he loved and trusted blindly taking a swing at him, not recognising him, like he'd forgotten him, and then hurt him. Eddie's fearful eyes flash into Steve's mind repeatedly, each time zooming in a little closer until he could see the tears balanced on his lashes. 

Full of self-loathing, Steve wishes he could wipe his mind of this again. He had no idea what to do. Was apologising really good enough? There is no way it could ever make up for that.

A knock at the door interrupts his downward spiral, and he quickly wipes his eyes. 

"Mr Harrington? May I come in?" the voice of the nurse rings out.

"Yeah, sure," he says quickly with a slight sniffle as the nurse enters the room. His smile is a comfort. Steve isn't sure how much he knows. He approaches the bed.

"How are we doing, sir? Any pain, headaches or anything else?" he asks gently whilst observing the monitors and making notes on his clipboard.

"No, well, nothing unexpected. I have a bruise on my head and my hand, I think." Steve says solemnly, and the nurse closes the clipboard, turning to him.

"Anything else you wanna mention? We're only here to help," he says kindly, a pitying look on his face, "We don't just treat physical things, you know?" Steve nods and realises he knows.

"Yeah, I think I need that help, I'm not sure exactly what I need, but I need something. But er, with everything going on," Steve gestures at the TV, "I imagine I'm pretty low down the list of priorities, so maybe I can get some information on places I can stay for a while. You know…" he chokes back a sob, choosing his words carefully, "Where I can't scare anyone?" The nurse leans into his view.

"Hey, what happened must have been terrifying for you, but it was such a lot for so many people. You aren't alone, ok? Other people had reactions to everything that happened too. Every fourth of July, we have people come in, you know? The loud bangs and flashes affect some of the older veterans too. Having said that, I will ask for some information to be brought to you. So at least it's one less thing on your mind." He smiles warmly at Steve, "Things are going to be ok. You're recovering much better than we expected. Despite what happened, your heart…it's very strong."

Steve would smile back, but it would be fake, so he nods and looks back down at his bruised knuckles.

"Also, Mr Harrington, I know you said you only wanted to see family, but I've got two people in the waiting area. One is threatening us with legal action, and the other is scaring the other patients by listing and detailing phobias. I thought I recognised her from somewhere, but it was ridiculous. She looks like that director. I've forgotten the name now." The nurse screws up their face trying to remember.

Steve's eyes widen, and for the first time since he woke up, he feels something that isn’t doused in regret. He replies excitedly, "Yeah, yeah! Please. Send them in." Then he looks down at himself, "Would you mind helping me be a bit more visit-ready first?" The nurse beams at Steve and assists.

A few minutes later, Steve can hear footsteps running down the corridor, the squeak of sneakers and another knock at the door.

"Come in", he says, filled with nervous energy.

A head pops round the door, "Hey, Dingus! Having hospital fun without us? Rude!!"

[channelingdarkpassenger]

I sat in my car today and cried, cried for babies that are not mine, babies who died too soon, who had yet to experience most of what life is “supposed” to offer.

As I reflected, I thought to myself, what the hell is happening? What would possess someone to kill babies?

Why not, instead of using this platform to get another like on a selfie, to boost ego and self- image, use it to have the types of hard conversations that need to be had? I’m not going to look back on my life and reflect on the attention I received on social media. Honestly, no one gives a shit about your selfie or mine. This is what matters: leaving the world a better place than when you got here.

Where is the root of the issue? Do the politicians who are in office cry for these babies? Truly? Do these deaths keep them up at night? Do they utilize these instances to further their political and personal agendas? Does the blame fall on citizens like me who dont vote regularly and allow these people to remain in office? Does voting even really matter, or is our country so fundamentally run by big business that politicians are puppets? Is the root not political in nature but a breakdown in human decency? Is it that our culture prioritizes popularity above kindness? That money and power are idolized? Do we not provide enough services for the mentally ill? I do not have the answers. One thing I know for certain, something in the way we are doing things is very broken.

It seems that everyone is so committed to their perspective these days that they often ignore truth to be right. What has happened that we prioritize being right over truth? Not your truth or mine, but universal, fundamental truth. Sometimes it seems that there are such overwhelming amounts of issues that it is tough to decide where to start. One thing I think we can all agree upon is that the consequences of this consistent division are getting greater and greater.

I am as guilty as anyone for priorotizing the wrong things. That being said, what is next? What can be done? Lives continue to be irrevocably influenced, perpetuating the negative cycle. Hurt people hurt people.

If I am to blame for something, I personally try to swallow my pride, identify the mistake (whatever it may be), take responsibility, and then move towards rectification. It’s not a fool proof system but it is one that tries to prioritize personal responsibility. That being said, can’t these principles be applied to societal issues?

I don’t know, I just cannot understand why we cannot all come together. I have more questions than answers these days. I am so sick of turning on the TV to witness more suffering. It makes my heart so sad.

#humanity #truth #change #unmitigatedfeels

[lavenderwhore444]

Alright let’s talk about smell dick shigaraki BEFORE U JUDGE JUST HEAR ME OUT,shigaraki having a crush on u (of course) been wanting to be with u but he was too ashamed and embarrassed of his tiny dick, he thinks he never has a chance with u so he gives up, meanwhile u were dying for him to make the first move u end up asking him out, he couldn’t believe it of course he said yes forgetting all about his insecurities,everything went well now ya’ll are making out shit got heated, as u were trying to take his pants off, he started making excuses basically on the verge of tears, u finelly convinced him (ngl u kind of forced him) he started crying, truth be told u never cared about size in all honesty u liked pegging more so it didn’t really matter and u always found shigaraki beautiful, meanwhile shigaraki was having a full on mental down he started to get up since he knows u wouldn’t like him, until u pulled him and pinned him to the bed and pulled ur 11 inche strap on.

Kink pegging, god I love seeing shigaraki crying wtf is wrong with me- anyways I can’t think of anything, dont forget to drink water and get plenty of rest 

-🤡

At first, I was like, ‘mmm small dick Shigaraki,’ as a joke, but bro...I don’t think it’s a joke anymore.

Ok, so y/n’s quirk is a shallow mind-reading quirk. She doesn't know your thoughts, but she does know your urges.

I have loved small dick shiggy for as long as I can remember. He acts all tough just to have this tiny little cock in his pants while he gets all embarrassed maybe even feels like less of a man because society equates having a large dick to being a “real man.”

But u love him and think it’s so cute—little dick for mommy’s little boy.

If you see my writing style change during the smut it's because I either a). Put on a seggsy playlist. Or b). I definitely did not listen to an asmr thing.

MasterList

InteractiveFics

‘So pretty,’ Shigaraki thought, drinking you in, ‘god I wish you were mine, y/n,’

You were sat at the table with most of the league playing Uno with dabi.

“Draw four motherfucker, ” you said, slamming the card down.

He cursed under his breath, “fucking bitch, ”

As he picked up his cards, Dabi questioned why he decided to put himself through this bullshit, why did he choose to suffer? You always beat his ass.

He put down a card, watching you slap down your next card.

“Uno, ” you said with a shit-eating grin on your face.

You giggled at the look of absolute rage on his face. He slammed down his card, and you put your last one down.

“Well, Dabi, I win again, ” you said.

You lifted his chin so he could look at the face of his superior.

“Another round?” you offered.

“Only if you'll make a bet, ” he said.

At the end of the last game, he had noticed the new mirror Kurogiri hung showed your hand.

He stood up and announced to the room, “if I win this game, y/n has to ask out her crush,”

“Hey, who said I had a crush on anyone?” you objected.

“Your texts with Toga, ” he grinned, “but that's beside the point. If you win, I’ll do whatever you want for a week, ”

“Oh, it is on, ” you grinned, “you wanna shuffle the cards?”

He smirked, “doesn't matter to me, go ahead, ”

You shuffled the deck. There was no need for your tricks this round. Dabi’s tricks, however, left you baffled at the outcome of the game.

“I lost?” you whispered in disbelief.

“What are you waiting for, y/n?” Dabi said.

He pulled your chair out and nearly tipped you out of it.

“Dont be shy, ” Dabi whispered, leaning in.

Well, this was it. You had hoped and prayed Shigaraki would make the first move, but you were forced to confront him. You sidestepped dabi much to his confusion and sat next to Shigaraki at the bar.

“Need liquid courage?” he asked, unphased by the whole ordeal.

He hadn't even bothered to get his hopes up.

“No, I'm um here to ask you out, ” you said, looking down, “sorry this is so awkward, I'll just go now, ”

You got up, but he pulled you back onto the chair.

“I’d love to go out with you y/n, ” he said calmly even though his heart was beating out of his chest.

“Really?” You asked.

“Really, ” he confirmed, putting four fingers on each side of your waist.

He leaned in a little, father absent from his face. Your breathing picked up as you followed his lead, brushing your lips against his. For a minute, you had forgotten the whole room was watching in anticipation until they began to cheer. You sighed and tugged him upstairs.

“I don't need them staring at us, ” you said, sitting down on your bed.

“I totally agree, ” Shigaraki said, moving closer to you.

You couldn't help the blush that grew on your cheeks as he slung his arm around your shoulders.

“You're so cute, ” he said, turning your face towards his.

He pressed his lips against your lips. They were perfect though a little chapped from the cold winter weather. You kissed him back eagerly, gripping his hair with your hands. Your fingers slipped through his soft blue hair. He pulled away smiling and pressed his forehead to yours.

“You need to move the mirror downstairs, ” he said, “dabi could see your hand the entire time, ”

“That bitch, ” you muttered.

He chuckled, "I'm glad we're on the same page,"

He pressed another kiss to your lips, slow and steady. You couldn't help but feel a small need inside of you begin to grow. Obviously, you pushed it back down. You didn't want to pressure him so early on. As you spent more time with him, you couldn't help but get more and more turned on by him. You couldn't stop staring at the way the veins in his neck reached down to the slope of his shoulders and disappeared. His sharp jawline made your heart flutter when he turned his head to the side.

The next time you got him alone, you couldn't keep your hands off of him.

"mmph- y/n hold on," he laughed.

You pressed wet, hot kisses to Shigaraki's neck, and he threaded his hands through your hair. You tapped into your quirk, and it seemed he was practically screaming for you to fuck him, but he wasn't hard? You worked harder, pinching and twisting his nipples under his shirt. He was moaning and groaning, but nothing was poking your leg.

"Hey, Tomura, I can tell you want this, but you're not hard," you said, "is there, um, something else I should be doing?"

"no, y/n it's fine don't worry about it," he stammered, "we can go watch a movie or-"

You pushed him down on the bed, getting on top of him.

"Just lemme work my magic, baby," you shushed.

"um, babe, it's just. I-I don't know," he said.

He felt so exposed with his shirt off but taking his pants off? He didn't know if he could do it.

"y/n I-"

"shh," you said, "just lemme help,"

He began to panic as you pulled at the waistband of his pants, but his need outshined his growing fear stopping you from picking up on it. To his dismay, you pulled down his pants and boxers all in one go. He felt the cold air hit his cock, and he began to cry. Shigaraki felt so embarrassed. Why him? Why couldn't he have a body like everyone else's? Why couldn't he be enough for you? He got up, not saying a word until you pulled him back down onto the bed.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I just- I want to be enough for you, but I'm just not,"

You held him, stroking his hair.

"You're more than enough for me. I'll always think you're beautiful," you said, "I don't care about bullshit like that. In fact, I have something better,"

You rifled through the drawer as he wiped away his tears. You pulled out a large strap-on and a bottle of lube. His eyes widened, and his cock twitched (as best it could). You giggled when you saw.

"someone's excited," you teased.

He blushed and nodded, "it um looks good,"

You smeared lube all over it and your fingers.

"Spread your legs, sweetie," you urged.

He did so gladly, exposing himself to you.

"fuck," you muttered under your breath.

He was so fucking gorgeous.

You pushed a finger into him as quickly as you could watching him gasp as his asshole clenched.

“You're very sensitive, ” you observed.

He blushed and pressed the side of his head into the pillow as he was still lying on his back. You guided his face, so he was looking at you.

“I want to see you, Tomura, if that's alright, ” you said.

He nodded once, “I’m okay with that y/n, ”

You smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

“You’re being a very good boy Tomura, ” you praised, “my good boy, ”

You started moving the finger again, circling and stretching his tight hole. He whimpered as you pushed in another finger. Despite feeling good, the experience was still a bit uncomfortable. Tomura bucked into your hand once he was used to the sensation. You watched in amazement as he acclimated so quickly; he was excellent at everything he did. How could one man be so perfect?

“More, ” he whispered, “please y/n. Give me more, ”

You kissed him much harder than before.

“Anything for you, ” you promise as you add in a third finger.

He squirmed and moaned while you prepared him. Your other hand grabbed the dripping toy. You pulled out your fingers, and he gulped.

‘How is that supposed to fit inside of me?’

You put it in inch by inch as he gasped and groaned.

“It feels s-so good y/n, ” he gasped.

You were only halfway in, and he was already losing his mind. His small cock was producing what seemed like a constant stream of pre-cum. Three-fourths of the way in, he started to struggle to accommodate the large toy. But he took a deep breath and let you push the rest inside. Once it's in all the way, he couldn't help but cry. It hurts.

“Take deep breathes for me, ” you said as you cupped your lover's face and left soft kisses all over.

He shook his head, “can’t. it h-hurts y/n, ”

You held him, kissing his forehead.

“It's okay, sweetie,” you shushed, “it's gonna be okay. You just have to hold on a little longer for me, ”

“I can't, ” he sobbed, “I can’t, ”

“Just one more minute Tomu. It’s gonna feel so good, ” you promised.

Shigaraki couldn't stop crying. He felt so full. Too full. You took his cock between two fingers and “stroked” it gently. He gasped and moaned so loud it reverberated throughout the room. You finally slid the strap onto your hips. You held it in your hands for most of the time, having much more control of your hands compared to your hips.

You rocked your hips gently. Slowly, not pulling out in the least. Tomura was clenching to the point of holding you like a vice. You moaned at the reaction. Even though you weren't being touched, watching your beautiful boyfriend come undone was enough for you. You let go of his cock, watching him squirm again.

“No, ” he moaned, “please don’t stop, ”

“I don't want you to cum too quickly, sweetie. This is your first time, after all, ” you teased.

He whined, “can you at least go faster y/n? Please?”

You picked up the pace without a word. Shigaraki wrapped his arms around your neck and pulled you down, so your chest was rubbing against his. Every time your shirt rubbed against his nipples, he let out a high-pitched moan. Your new angle hit his prostate head-on. His hands dug into your shoulders. If you weren't immune to his quirk, you'd be screwed.

“Y/n, ” he drooled, “fucking kiss me, ”

You were on him immediately, shoving your tongue deep into his mouth. He pulled at you hair.

“Y/n, ” he moaned into your mouth, “so good, ”

You sped up, and he yelped into your mouth. He was gasping for air even when you pulled away. You felt every part of him tense before his small cock shot out a surprisingly large amount of cum. Shigaraki was blissed out. Every part of him screamed to sleep, but he pulled you over him and yanked your hips down onto his face.

He licked and sucked, slobbering all over your pussy.

“Such a messy cunt, ” he groaned, diving back in, “all for me, ”

You collapsed onto his face, nearly suffocating his with your thighs (don't worry, he loved every second of it) before rocking back and forth on his face.

“Yes, ” you moaned, “god yes, Tomura, you're so good. I love it. I fucking love it. You're such a good boy. My good boy, ”

Shigaraki moaned into you at the praise, licking and sucking until you gushed into his mouth and all over his face. You collapsed next to him.

“Fuck, ” you gasped, “that was amazing, Shig, ”

You giggled and pulled him into your chest.

“That was so amazing, ” you praised again.

He wrapped his arms around you and muttered something incoherent before passing out immediately.

[officalaizawa003]

Getting them together

week 3:

The rooftop gang were having their monthly sleepover at nemuri's when nemuri had the perfect idea. She got an empty wine bottle from the recycling bin and had oboro put some of his clouds in the bottle. Now the bottle was at his control. Perfect~

Nemuri: Lets play spin the bottle!

Oboro: Im down!

Hizashi: Me too!

Everyone looked at Aizawa who shook his head: Hell no.

Nemuri: Shouta it would be a shame if your little secret got out right Sho?

Aizawa:....I hate you...Fine! I'll play!

Everyone sat around in a circle.

Nemuri: Alright since last time me and oboro went first its either you or hizashi!

Hizashi raised his hand. Nemuri's eyes widened as blush formed across his face as he eyed aizawa. Oh my god...HIZASHI LIKED AIZAWA! But stupid Oboro decided to open his mouth.

Oboro: Aizawa you should go! Heres the bottle!

Aizawa started blushing as he took the bottle. Oh god...Aizawa likes oboro....This was backfiring. Nemi was gonna tell oboro but aizawa already spun. And he landed on...oboro. His eyes lit up with excitment as the excitment in Hizashi's left. He started fidgeting with his hands, something he does when he's excited. Oboro looked shocked. Shit..

Aizawa: O-oh! Um..haha this is awkward...w-we dont have to k-kiss if you dont want to.

Aizawa had a soft smile. They had never seen aizawa so happy. Aizawa scooted closer to oboro.

Oboro pushed away from aizawa.

Oboro: Im sorry aizawa. I dont want to kiss you..

Aizawa's smile faded and his blush also faded. The room fell silent,

Aizawa: O-oh...yeah thats c-cool. I...

Aizawa stood up and walked to the door, "Im heading to bed..im sleepy...night guys..." and walked away.

Hizashi got up and walked out the room too. Oboro looked guilty as he rubbed the back of his neck after Nemuri hit it hard.

Nemuri: You idiot! I was trying to tell you that he likes you before you handed him the stupid bottle! Now he's probably crying his eyes out!

Oboro: Im sorry I just...it didnt feel right to kiss him in front of Hizashi...

Nemi: OH so you can tell Hizashi like Sho but you couldnt tell Sho liked you?!

Oboro: I knew he liked me...

Nemi: Then WHAT THE FUCK?!

Oboro: But I wasnt gonna take Shouta away from Hizashi...

Nemi: ...*sigh* alright im sorry...but you should go say sorry.

Oboro nodded and got up. He headed in the room and saw Hizashi hugging aizawa as aizawa sobbed into his shoulder. Oboro cracked the door and watched.

Hizashi: Shhh let it all out shouta...Its okay

Aizawa: (in between very loud sobs) I-i loved him...

Hizashi: Its okay shouta...hes missing out on an amazing person. If he cant see how cool you are and what an honor it is to want to be kiss by you then he's blind! You ever so rarely openly show someone you love them, and the one time you do, he fucks it up. So you know what? Screw Oboro!

Aizawa: H-he didnt mean to hurt me...

Hizashi: I know, but he did. And he doesnt even have the balls to come and apoligize to you. Thats what pisses me off. The way he said that to you....how he said he didnt want to kiss you...tch...leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Aizawa: Maybe he said no because im always mean to him..

Hizashi: Shouta Aizawa you are alot of things but mean is not one of them. You have trust issues. And even those who you do trust you have a hard time opening up to. And you get defensive. You try to act tough so people wont mess with you. I get it. Hes an idiot okay?

Aizawa: I'll never get my first kiss...

Hizashi sighed, "Do you want your first kiss?"

Aizawa: Yes...

Hizashi lifted up aizawa's head, wipes his tears, and

By this time, Nemuri had come to watch too. One final tear escaped aizawa's eyes. Hizashi broke the kiss and put his finger to aizawa's lips before getting up and walking to the door. Nemuri and Oboro ran back to the other room before hearing the door close. Mic sat back down and smiled.

Hizashi: God damnnit sho, I wish you wouldve seen it sooner. Before you went falling for him...I've loved you since day one!

With that mic planted another kiss on aizawa's lips. When the kiss broke again, Hizashi watched as blush slowly but surely started forming on aizawa's face. That excitment came back into his eyes and aizawa hardened his grip on mic's shirt.

Aizawa: You..love me?

Hizashi: Yes! I always have!

Aizawa: This...this might be a bit early..but please...be my boyfriend...we can keep it a secrect if you want.

Hizashi: Of course shouta! Now..doyou wanna stay here or join the others again.

Aizawa: No...I wanna stay here...if oboro really feels bad, he´ll come in here and say it...

Hizashi: Okay. Lay down...l-love.

Aizawa smiled and layed down next to Hizashi. Everything was going great. Expect...Hizashi HATED oboro and aizawa kinda did too. So now Nemuri and Oboro needed to figure out how to get them together (they still dont know yet) AND how to get Aizawa and Hizashi to forgive Oboro. Oh boy...

@sara576sf

[hellbabyfromhell]

i unfollowed you, not because i dont like you, but rather because you have such trans girl swag that i just followed you for like... years without realizing you're not transfem and we have nothing else in common. i truly wish you the best of course but like... to me you're just some person walking around making posts and stuff.

ok?

it honestly bothers me that you followed me for years and you didnt like the content of my character or anything ive done and decided to now send me this saying “im just some person walking around making posts” because i didnt fit your image of who you thought i was. and it was entirely contingent on my gender and not any other thing about me? i am not a transfem, youre right, but 1. you also really dont know my history with gender and 2. its shitty that you went out of your way to tell me you were uninterested in any aspect of my personality other than my gender for years apparently. and you felt the need to inform me that you’re unfollowing me because i don’t fit your mental image of me….

you are just some person who treats people on the internet like they arent real, because you only care about a fictionalized image of them. you are like some person who thinks their opinion of someone is so important that they have to decree theyre unfollowing me in their askbox. im sorry you dont like me for who i am, but i guess i prefer that you’ve unfollowed because i dont want to be seen as someone else, someone imagined. (i think in some ways this is why perfect blue is so important to me) i want to be, i AM me, and thats all i can be. i am just some person walking around and liking myself (new development!) and sometimes other people do too, because of who i am as a person. this sort of thing drags me down, especially when i see it first thing in the morning, because it really bothers me when people send me these presumptuous and sometimes rude asks because they don’t think about the feelings of the person that theyre sending it to. so i guess all in all, if you are the kind of person who sends this sort of message, i truly wish you the best of course but i’d rather that people who actually like me for me follow me. i am a person, anon. this is really dehumanizing. in the future, please treat fellow internet denizens as human beings with feelings.

on that note, im sorry im replying to this and not my nice asks. this is kind of an anomaly and i don’t get stuff like this often. the nice asks, i like to keep them and look at them. honestly, sometimes when im at my lowest, i read them, and its like exp or spore food bits in the first stage. i truly appreciate how kind people are to me from the bottom of my heart. ive done a lot of work trying to bring myself back from having a horrible self image, because for so long i couldnt stand myself, and when i get a nice ask, its like adding a plate of armor to my knight-suit. i am feeling stronger than ever, and i appreciate and love every message and reply with all my heart. idk how to reply to replies sometimes but i read them all and they stay in my back pocket. i wish i could Like the replies. i just really appreciate how kindly people treat me and i cannot thank you enough. ive been through really tough shit the last 6 years and the dust is finally settling and everything is looking like itll be okay, and im touched whenever i get a kind message, because im grateful, truly, for people who have seen my highs and lows, failures and triumphs, and are so unrelentingly supportive. i wish i could express genuinely how much it means to me from the bottom of my heart. there are times when people here treated me much kinder than i would ever allow myself to at the time, and i really can’t explain how much it meant and still means to me. so thank you, a million times thank you. i started crying writing this part lol. i am just very beyond appreciative that i so infrequently have negativity on my blog. thank you to all the people who have stuck with me and sent me such kind things. i hope to keep making stuff and doing things and i hope it’ll entertain you and make you happy as much as doing those things makes me happy. lets be happy all together! thank you.

[lvlyhao]

『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』

reaction fic; NCT Dream

A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.

note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so

just dont mind it pls

also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (☼), crack (⍢).

𝓦𝓪𝓻��𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.

word count: 6.8K

pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Mark

oh, poor baby

i feel like he would be a little heartbroken 

just a little

not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,

boy might cry

he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself

so he might think like

“do they think he’s cooler than me?”

and it’s silly, yes, he knows

but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up

so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased

because gods know i am

at least when it comes to 127

mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”

and

“a h”

<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>

would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just

showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways

complimenting you

being even more whipped than usual

like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again

i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing

and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt

we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose

but we also know he’s johnny

cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”

so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)

just to see you giggle 

(and see your soul leave your body)

might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol

and winks

expect a lot of winks

anywhere and anytime

which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???

and that you appreciate johnny more than him???

he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias

don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol

his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho

now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant 

he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever

and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™

but he’s not 100% aware of that

and you’re not that dense 

so ofc you notice

and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant

he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything

he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes

which is fine by you

and by him

cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time

and hugging him

and kissing his cheek

and praising his work

and blowing kisses from across the room

and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him

(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)

THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN

COMMUNICATE

Renjun

wym donghyuck is your bias lol

literally are you fucking kidding him

don’t get me wrong ok

everyone knows renjun loves haechan

they’re bffs and could not live without each other

but at the same time,,,

what is wrong with you

who did he choose as his s/o gods help him

if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,

literally ANY of his other members

he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”

but haechan???? hmmm bestie no

he’s not gonna throw a fit

not after the first time you told him anyways

HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY

and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke

<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>

if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck

for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage

BACK ON TRACK

would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind

and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it

he doesn’t even flirt with you

he just

constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you

“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”

(pause for injun to punch him)

(unpaused)

and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two

haechan won’t let either of you live

and renjun just wants to

fight

so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it

except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering

ANYWAY

your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”

while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just

“bro why are you like this”

“bro”

no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that

he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know

he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are

but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???

he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others

so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice

or better dancing skills

or he looks better

he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—

the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago

he was fine with being him

but not so much when it came to that

i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him

and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too

not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again

hyuck never meant for things to get out of control

he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,

teasing

he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well

don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out

injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging

and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,

art

sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him

and talk about his fantastic animal creations

and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like

hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...

and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side

and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)

but then,,,,,,

wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE

(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)

and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded

and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other

but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage

and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him

i’m kidding

or not

Jeno

ah, lee jeno

aka samoyed boi

yes i do call him that no i will not stop

everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you

but i just 

don’t see him that way

he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort

so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin

as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol

and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)

jaemin doesn’t flirt with you

not any more than he flirts with

every other breathing creature

ever

he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol

on the other side, he is in love with jeno

basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his

so nothing really changes

we know how nomin are, okay

they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live

it's just them

you gotta respect it bruh

i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else

i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his

and it’s not something big or on purpose

it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework

or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first

even if it’s just three words

“you did good”

and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????

i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance

he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”

his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time

and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence 

(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)

so what if you just

stopped seeing him?

did he become invisible to you?

did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?

he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though

earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???

so we do what we do

bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes

1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)

2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy

so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2

jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does 

literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies

he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right

he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv

jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so

many

vegetables

AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT

but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™

and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent

this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be

maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((

:(((((

writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH

and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do

if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it

turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break

so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising

the first reaction is confusion

the second is oh hey babe how are you

third is

a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??

yes you are and i’m proud of you

so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much

and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and

he’s perfect

and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been

baby boy just needs some rest

and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt

then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him

the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion

after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle

well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol

this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up

make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again

and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy

he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough

Haechan

haechan = full sun

why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun

does not understand

but also does not care that much

actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is

if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so

much

complaining

and clinging

AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD

donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am

on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,

adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it

ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x

then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented

IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD

i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok

i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you

he loves you both

a lot,,,,

and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him

and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit

lowkey done with you two

but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION

or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)

“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”

pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected

will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up

he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty

will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner

will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes

what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today

oh man, he could swear they did

because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes

no he doesn’t want to impress you

shut up

will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter

every

single 

one

and are they mark’s?

lol no, they’re his

he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult 

<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias” 

“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”

he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad

he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever

cus haechan privilege

and he tends to not care about what people say and think???

bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck

he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people

but you

not biasing him

naw, he can’t take it

will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias

then you can go back to loving (his) mark

so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake

just give donghyuck what he wants

i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do

like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET

“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”

if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty

will actually drop you for mark

his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead

and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on

everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????

<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”

“i’m your partner”

“no that’s mark”

it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to

assert his dominance

and mark is just

“dude

what HAHAHA”

and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby

i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something

like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck

no

“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”

“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”

“yes i know”

i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal

with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him

he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too

what am i talking about?

new 127 mv is out

you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks

him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too

this is what a happy couple looks like 

but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl

savemork2021

Jaemin

nana is just such a chill and fun guy

i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else

and so the two of you become insufferable together

bitch, i’m telling you

he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life

cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”

yes that thing

he’s doing it to your bias 

and you’re doing it too

and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land

PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG

i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine

two fully grown people

pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone

“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE

MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"

i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time

cus individually he can handle it

like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now

or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard

but when you two are together

bruh

a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close

and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun

jaemin loves jaehyun

they’re 2jae

2jae are soulmates

therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???

bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them

they’re too powerful

they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces

so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane

and i mean insane

insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc

they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me

and of course, you had to tag along

but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring

there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao

jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)

but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty

you can bet there are compilations on youtube like 

“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”

ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on

i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else

he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members

bc gods know he does

he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol

one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like

done with people

and needs some time away from everything

we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans

it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained

and he’ll need a break to get his energy back

jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though

i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship

he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too

and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat

and just cuddle him a lot

that will make him a smiley baby again

and then things are back to how they normally are

and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared 

i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura

dotae would be confused in different ways lol

taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????

and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you

<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”

mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him

but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”

resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes

a literal comedian i love him

i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol

chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone

shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)

taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)

ten is not very amused but might play into it

yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)

xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office

haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it

jeno is used to dealing with this at this point

lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming

sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”

this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry

Chenle

chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao

okay so

he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)

he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him

back to the plot

he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else

b u t

i will say there’s an exception

this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february

you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung

i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon

you had 22 chances not to mess up

and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time

and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—

he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and

hold the fuck up

your bias is his best friend

oH NO NO NO NO NO

i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????

and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along

it’s his sweet, dummy jisung

with his sweeter and dummier y/n

what is he going to do

probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT

kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”

and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind

you know the teasing thing?

well it’s upgrade time

he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done

and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends

he just wants you to like

know who you’re befriending

bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone

and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either

if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—

he’d be so broken

because he loves you so much :((((

so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies

so get ready for it

if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy

so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures

“hey y/n”

“yeah babe?”

“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”

“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”

“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”

“...”

“...”

“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”

yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick

BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH

he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though

so picture this

movie night the girls boys

chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him

and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like

“jisung”

“w-what”

“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”

(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)

and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time

but chenle is laughing

and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes

“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>

and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it

and stop being weird and awkward around each other

lele needs you two to be bros ok

so be bros

once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable

and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension

happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods

and if you don’t adapt to it?

well,,,

i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????

and like what u scared of

jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you

either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental

so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend

then everyone can be besties

i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio

because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them

but now that you’re coming along,,,,

no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)

and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing

you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????

which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you 

we don’t need sm to be on fire

well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point

i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop

bc c’mon guys

he’s chenle

no limits here

but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real

last scenario?

chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right

jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you

Jisung

it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>

i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like

ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that

he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol

however

i do see him as being quite new to all things love 

i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts

first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….

first time being jealous, yes, focus on that

i don’t think jisung would be aware that like

you not biasing him is even a possibility

cuz you’re dating

doesn’t that come along????

ah poor baby i love him

if you biased chenle i think he’d be just

disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???

he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated

but if it’s another member

ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones

i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence 

you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned

his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him

and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??

what about him then???

and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from

first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you

and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much

and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO

he really respects you and his hyungs 

so no, never

that’s not a thing that can happen

but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?

well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking

probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice

i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung

and they do tell him that

however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you

it’s just that

his hyungs are so cool…

HE CAN’T HELP IT OK

would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like

grasp onto some of his qualities?

so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect

i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???

like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it

i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image

so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???

“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”

“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”

he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to

long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing

when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((

you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance

they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason

please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too

your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too

and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it

actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along

he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like 

127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…

the dreamies

and that, my friend, is terrifying

anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud

of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about

it’s him

“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name

it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’

so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”

jisung would feel 10000000% better

and smiley

and giggly

and oh my god do you really talk about him that much

LOOK HE’S BLUSHING

would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you

and not let go

ever again

the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it 

shut up i’m not crying

---

final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)

if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Pomegranate Seeds 3

well we got some BIG projecting going on here. if yall didn’t know i had mommy issues before, you sure as fuck do now 😂😂😂

Warnings: insecure Jask, allusions to verbally abusive/manipulative parents, lmao rebellious jask, good ole miscommunication between jask and geralt - but solved quickly, lol swearing

___________

Letter after letter reached Jaskier in the underworld, and time after time, he destroyed them. He didn’t tell Geralt, telling himself it was because the ruler of the underworld had more important things to deal with. He didn’t want to admit he was scared Geralt would send him packing. 

Eventually, Demeter resorted to threats. Threats of famine that she followed through on. She underestimated just how like her Jaskier was, though. He didn’t dignify her tantrum with a response. 

When she sent messengers, he started to worry.

He told Charon to alert him, not Geralt, if another god or goddess came to visit, even one of the more senior demigods. He didn’t want to take any chances. Geralt didn’t need to know anyway. 

But Geralt noticed something was off.

Jaskier would say he was tired, or he couldn’t perfect a specific verse of the song he was writing. Usually it worked, but it was only ever a salve, never a cure, for Geralt’s suspicions. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Geralt cradled him in his lap, lounging in the now lavish courtyard under the pomegranate tree Jaskier had brought back from the brink of death. 

Jaskier nuzzled closer, “I’m just ti-”

“No, I asked you what’s wrong,” Geralt insisted, giving him a gentle squeeze and placing a kiss to the top of his head. 

“It’s nothing,” Jaskier lied, hoping the sigh he accidentally let slip didn’t register, “You don’t need to worry about it.” 

Geralt hummed and went quiet for a moment before he curled a bit tighter around Jaskier and whispered, “Do you want to go home?” 

Jaskier scrambled up, sputtering and terrified, “Did she get to you?!” When Geralt just looked at him with an unreadable expression he started to panic, feeling hot tears welling up in his eyes as he did his best to keep his voice steady, “Don’t send me back. Please, Geralt. Anything but that.”

“I’d never,” Geralt soothed, standing and hesitantly reaching for Jaskier’s hand. 

He eyed the offer warily, sniffing and trying to calm himself, “Then why would you say that?”

“I thought you were unhappy. You’ve been… acting strange.” 

Jaskier ignored Geralt’s outstretched hand, choosing to wrap himself around Geralt’s torso and bury his face in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow. It’s just, uhm. I’m just a bit off.” 

Geralt instinctively held him tighter, “Jaskier I want you to be happy, not ‘better’.”

Jaskier just hummed, swallowing back his unshed tears. 

“Who were you talking about?”

For a moment, Jaskier had to remind himself to breathe before he could respond, “Hm?”

“You asked if someone had ‘gotten’ to me?”

Tears spilled regardless of Jaskier’s best efforts, “My mother. She wants me to come back. She’s been sending letters and messengers.”

“And you don’t want to?” 

“Never,” Jaskier insisted, “This is the most freedom I've ever had. I don’t have to hide in the treetops to feel any sense of calm, I get to make decisions, I make things grow when I want, for whom I want.”

Geralt ran a hand over his hair, resting it at the base of his skull and brushing his thumb through the little hairs behind his ear, “You don’t ever have to leave. I love you. I want you here.” 

“I love you too,” Jaskier whispered, “I’m just scared.” 

Geralt gently pushed him back just enough to look into his eyes, “There’s a way you could stay forever…”

The hopeful glint in his eyes told Geralt everything he needed to know, so he continued, “If you eat even one pomegranate seed you will be tethered to the underworld. You can stay and do whatever pleases you. But it is irreversible. One bite and your fate is forever tied to this place.” 

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, searching Geralt’s eyes for something, anything, that could make the decision for him, “I could never leave?” 

“Only if the both of us willed it and only for a short time,” Geralt explained, tenderly wiping his tears away, “I could never keep you here if you were miserable. Try as I might to think about anything else, your happiness consumes much of my thoughts.” 

“Hmm,” Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s touch, turning his head to kiss his palm, “Do I need to decide right now?”

Geralt kissed his forehead, “Of course not. It’s just an option.”

“Okay,” Jaskier sighed, curling his fingers around the robes cascading down Geralt’s back, “I like it - the idea. I just… I want to take my time?” 

“Absolutely.”

-

Time wasn’t something Jaskier was allowed apparently. 

The two of them were just climbing out of a lovely bath when a chattering skeleton announced the arrival of a visitor. 

Demeter stood in the throne room with her back turned to them, examining one of the glowing diamonds when they entered. She looked so small, almost insignificant. Her hair was in an intricate braid, she wore a cream toga, adorned with gold that made her look more like a savior than the horror she really was. 

Jaskier gripped Geralt’s hand tightly and pulled them to a halt, knowing very well Demeter wanted him to speak first. It was a stand off he was familiar with. If he spoke first she had the upper hand, hearing his tone and picking apart his words. She always knew how particular her son was with words. 

“Julek. It’s time to go.”

Her voice echoed off the stone walls as she calmly stated her order, not even bothering to turn and look at him. 

Jaskier took a deep breath and squeezed Geralt’s hand, not looking at him for fear of crying, “No.” 

“Playtime is over. You have duties. The humans did not prepare for you to leave. They’re calling it winter,” she snorted as if the idea was as ridiculous as standing on your head in a temple. 

Jaskier grit his teeth, feeling the rage bubble up in his chest, “I don’t care.”

“Clearly,” She rounded on him with a condescending look of disappointment, “It doesn’t matter if you care. They’re still your responsibility.” 

Jaskier took a step forward, “A responsibility you assigned me. You fixed it before, fix it now.”

“I cant.” 

“Tough shit.”

Jaskier wasn’t sure how any of his words were coming out without sounding absolutely hysterical, but he was glad for it. He glared at her, daring her to try again while internally he was scrambling for a plan.

“For this particular magic, I need you. Seasons will take more work than a year round harvest, but you have set them off nonetheless.” Demeter’s voice was softer than usual, though Jaskier didn’t miss the incincerity of her words. She’d raised him. He knew her, probably better than she knew herself for all the introspection she refused to take part in, and he knew she was playing games. 

"Oh? Are you no longer capable?" Jaskier laughed bitterly as he turned to walk toward the courtyard, "The great goddess of plenty and harvest can't sustain what she's built? Unfortunate. I am good at what I do here. I am so good at caring about the souls that end up in our audience-"

"Our!?"

"DONT interrupt me," Jaskier shouted, turned and stomped his heel into the ground making vines burst forth from the marble beneath them, wrapping around Demeter's waist and mouth, "I have also found I'm rather adept at torture when necessary. I love it down here! I love being able to right wrongs and show the righteous to Elysium. I love having a purpose to my actions, not just being someone's unappreciated trophy! And I love Geralt. He treats me so well and loves me so sweetly and wants only to make me happy. Nothing about your 'seasons' and 'bringing life' interests me in the slightest, Demeter. Because that's not who I am. I am rage and justice and I am to be feared, not manipulated. Take your failing crops and go." Jaskier waved a hand dismissively and the vines disappeared back into the ground. 

Without looking back, he strode toward the pomegranate tree in the center of the garden, plucking a fruit from the nearest branch and turning to glare at his mother. Geralt was hot on his heels, glancing between the two but keeping quiet. Jaskier had told him he wanted to confront her himself, without her thinking he’d been told what to say. So Geralt stood by and seethed. 

Jaskier pulled a knife from the holster in Geralt’s belt and sliced a nice section out of the pomegranate. 

“Don’t you dare.” Demeter snarled, standing at the edge of the courtyard. 

Jaskier smirked and peeled the white fiber from the blood red seeds with a casual sigh, “I don’t think your opinion matters much here.” 

Jaskier flipped the knife in the air and caught it by the blade, maintaining eye contact with Demeter as he handed it back to Geralt.

“Are you sure?” Geralt’s voice was just a whisper as he took the blade.

Jaskier picked a particularly dark red seed from it’s home and turned to look at him, “There’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be, my love.” 

With that he popped the seed in his mouth. 

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[wh6res]

“𝑰’𝑴 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻, 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀 𝑺𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑼𝑹.”

part of the 21 ways to kill your lover collab hosted by the lovely miss solange @du0tine

pairing. entity! xdj & f! reader | word count. 5.4k

synopsis. he wasn’t a god, he wasn’t a devil, and fuck, he’s surely not an angel, but he will be your saviour and your light ‘till kingdome come.

warnings. tread with caution. yandere/possesive themes, religious themes, violence, mentions of gore, swearing, mentions of ptsd, mentions of physical abuse, a lot of character deaths, manipulation, stalking, and implications of suicide

disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think xiaojun from wayv would act like this in real life.

a soul’s vulnerability gives him strength. he has scourged far and wide and has yet to encounter a soul as interesting as yours. he never thought a heart filled with hatred and a fragile mentality can be such a sweet combination. xiaojun would be stupid not to latch his greedy talons onto you.

he hides in the darkest corners of your room at night, unseen and unheard, just watching over you like a predator to his poor unsuspecting gazelle before diving into the anticipated chase. 

he moves in with you into the cheap apartment you got for yourself here in the big city—which he thinks is an awful move because of how lonely it’ll be. but hey, it wasn’t anyone’s fault that you got chased out of your own home by your stepdad, your very own biological mom too scared to say a peep of defense to your name. 

your downfalls became xiaojun’s highlights. 

he would’ve felt sorry for you after finding out about that abusive old man. ugh, he scowls. your stepdad makes the entity’s blood boil and he doesn’t even have blood to begin with. the same man who holds the bible in his left hand when he preaches sermons for the people, is the same hand he uses to hit you across the face. 

the same hand he uses to pull at your hair. the same hand he uses to punch your gut. the same hand he uses to shove your mom down when she tries interfering. 

xiaojun may hate men of god but above all, he absolutely detests the kind your old man is—a faker, who thinks he can get away with the shit mess he’s making. xiaojun would never take that preacher’s murky soul even if he offered it to the entity voluntarily. fake. fake. fake. fake. fake. xiaojun should’ve killed him. xiaojun should’ve slit his throat. xiaojun should’ve torn his eyes out—

ah, ah, ah.

he can’t afford to make you any less vulnerable than you already are, now, can he? after all, he can be anything you want but he’s no angel. 

so he watched from the sidelines. 

watched you cry. watched you bleed. watched your scars form. watched the hate and resentment you have for your own family fester in your heart until it grew to a size you can’t hide within yourself anymore. 

and then you left home. 

xiaojun has to admit, for a second, maybe leaving home will make your soul unworthy, will break the mold he’s already had of you and will completely spoil his well-thought out plans.

so really, he can only scoff when he watches you walk around the apartment wearing that pretty dress on a sunday morning, darting around with calculated steps to shove everything inside your bag to go to church. the dress hangs nicely against your skin but he’d rather you stay and wear nothing. 

maybe you’d finally find contentment and happiness in this place, in this city, on your own. soaring high without a cage, without someone to hold you back—these things fill his thoughts like a plague until you come barging back into the door 30 minutes later. 

he’s been watching you long enough to know church service wouldn’t end for another 30 minutes or so. xiaojun’s eyebrows quirk up. why would his fragile little gazelle come back oh so early? but his question is immediately answered when he detects your shaky breaths and the unshed tears in your glistening eyes

you’re suffering the post-traumatic effects your shit stepdad has caused. seeing another preacher must’ve been a trigger, he thinks, eyeing you with a look on his face. xiaojun felt a little stupid. of course, swimming to the surface will be tough with all that trauma anchoring you down.

it’ll be tough, indeed… so why not sink you even deeper?

it didn’t take much energy for him to start manipulating your dreams. every nap, every deep sleep, he’d replay all the horrible things your stepdad has done to you and he realizes how dreams depicted from his perspective took a larger toll on you versus the ones from your own point of view—witnessing for yourself how weak and helpless you had been seemed to chip away bigger parts of you, he notices. your terrified screams when waking up in cold sweat getting louder and louder with every passing nightmare.

he pushed, and pushed, and pushed until you were standing right at the edge of sanity. until you start questioning your own self-worth and judgment, the invisible chains of the trauma too strong to break. until your radiant skin looked deathly, with gaunt cheeks and white lips. until you developed a fear of sleeping because no, you don’t want to witness those horrors again. no. no. no. no, please don’t hit me—

xiaojun can’t help but admire his handiwork but no, he doesn’t have time for that! 

the next time you fell asleep you had been desperately holding onto your 5th bottle of gatorade like it was a torch breaking through the darkness. you’ve intake so much of the energy drink that your body has grown used to it. you would’ve switched to caffeine, but from how much you drank it prior to the energy drinks, your blood is practically coffee at this point. 

“you’re living in my house now, young lady! i’d like to see some respect from your or i’ll fucking beat it into you!”

“stop! please. hit me instead, hit me!” 

“this is all your fault, bitch! how can you raise one daughter wrong? no wonder your husband left you!”

murky and black, you can’t even see the bottom at this point. it keeps pulling you down, and down, and down, until you couldn’t breathe. until your head feels light. until your heart beats erratically within your ribcage as you fought to the surface. 

with all the negative emotions surging through you in thunderous waves, it’s a wonder how no other lonesome, starving entity has latched onto you like xiaojun. although realistically, he was here first, as if he’ll let any other being like him go near you.

it took a greater amount of energy to twist and manipulate the plotline of certain events in a dream. if xiaojun hadn’t grown strong from all your negativity, he’d never be able to do it. 

he can never forget the day he first appeared to you in a dream. to have you cling onto him as you willingly took his hand—not that he was caught by surprise, anyway. every second of every hour of every day xiaojun spent plotting your demise has led to this fruitful day of “meeting” you for the first time. 

“i’m right here,” he said, shaking fingers tracing over your cheeks. a soft caress you have never experienced. 

the man in your dreams is someone you’ve never met before—you’re positive that you haven’t because you’d never forget a face as handsome as his. he appears like an angel casted over divine light, with a soft smile that can cure the plague as he offers his hands for you to take. it was beautiful, how your nightmares turned into dreams the moment the mysterious man arrived. 

how’d you ever know, that the hand you grabbed is the wolf in sheep’s clothing?

it’s sad really, how you’ve only managed to escape one horror only to jump into the next but xiaojun can’t find it in himself to feel bad. well, maybe a little, it’s a fleeting thought. something that disappeared as quickly as it had passed by.

it was only after a few weeks of constantly appearing in your dreams did his plan start to backfire. the change in your behavior isn’t subtle, either, and it angered him all the more. he didn’t see this coming, not even from lightyears away.

simple to say you’ve grown a little more… how can xiaojun put this into words? well, a little more outgoing. adventurous. meeting new people and going to new places and experiencing new things. he can see everything as clear as day—you were healing from your past, leaving the dark chapters in your life to write newer and brighter ones that revolved on having actual healthy relationships for once. 

his seething anger of his failed plans had made all the windows in your apartment burst into thousand little pieces. if you had fine china dishes displayed on your kitchen cabinets he would’ve broken those too. how can you go against him like this? look at you all happy and smiley even as the room turned ice cold because of xiaojun’s suffocating presence. you never even thought once about it—how naive. 

tormenting you through dreams isn’t working anymore. xiaojun has to up his game if he wants to break you down and revert you back to that paranoid, sensitive, and frail self that couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t talk to any other human being without feeling the ghost of your abusive step-father’s hands against your skin. 

who says he can only control you through mind games alone? after he’s done what needs to be done, grief and self-pity will go hand in hand. a combination so cruel and heavy on your shoulders that xiaojun can already savor the metallic tangy taste of victory. 

“no! yeji—!”

xiaojun watches unblinking when he makes one of your new friends walk out the sidewalk and right into an overspeeding car. 

tires skidding across the pavement, the breaks not working, glass shattering, bones cracking against the force of the hit—dead, right on the fucking spot.

he’s never heard you scream that loud and he shudders in pleasure as the vibrations of your shrill voice courses through his veins. 

he missed this, your complete and utter misery. 

but he wasn’t done yet. 

“don’t you think it’s a ‘lil chilly in here?” ryujin asks, looking over to your side before drinking the hot chocolate she prepared for both of you. 

grieving together with a friend can be good, hence why you’re now in her apartment a month later after yeji’s funeral. 

you answer after taking a sip. “no, not really.” 

xiaojun grins, giddy and a skip in his step while making his way towards you as he side-eyes your friend, who religiously drank her hot chocolate all the while bundling up next to you so you both can watch the movie together playing on the laptop. 

this one, well, he particularly doesn’t like this one. 

if your other friend was meant to be a casualty, a death borne from not one smidge of personal vendetta, this one, this ryujin is different. heck, he even remembers her fucking name.

no, no, no. xiaojun can feel his skin crawl as ryujin cuddles intimately closer as she stares at you from her peripheral, feeling out whether you’d react or not as she sneaks an arm around your waist. his anger turns a fever pitch, seeing you with someone else driving him up the wall. you were meant to be his sad and hopeless little gazelle and his alone.

xiaojun hoped the poison travels fast or so help him he’ll fucking rip her off of you—and he would’ve, when he saw you and ryujin slowly leaning into one another, head angled and obviously going in for a kiss. he would’ve, when one of ryujin’s hands come up to cup your face. he would’ve… until the poison reached its destination in her body, right when your lips were about to touch. 

ryujin’s lungs seized, breathing becoming an agent to her demise as the oxygen from her lungs disappear into nothingness. the last thing she saw is your horrified face, tears streaming. she swore you were shouting something, probably her name, but it’s overpowered by the incessant ring in her ears.

when her mouth foamed and she laid limp on the couch right next to you, you knew ryujin would never wake again to give you that kiss. 

xiaojun steps back to admire the havoc he wreaked. two of your friends dead, that should be enough to incapacitate you—whether it be permanent or not, he just wants to see you drown in misery. 

and as he slowly dissipates into the void, there’s a little smile on his face as he stares you down, burning the image of your histeria in his head, the echoes of your woeful cries music to his ears. 

you never dared step foot out of your apartment. 

groceries were delivered to your door, trash is slowly but surely building up, and the place was a whole mess. the entity haunting you has never seen you this… shattered, even when you left home. it was like your brain has stopped working and your body turned into nothing more but a cusp of who you used to be. 

it’s scary looking in the mirror and not recognizing the reflection—so, you painted all of them black. it was an in the heat of a moment kind of thing that took place the moment you came home from the police station, on the exact day she passed away before your eyes. 

xiaojun just has to “misplace” a few pints of paint you had used from when you renovated the apartment in the past, putting the cans where you can easily see them and think that the idea belonged to you when in reality, it’s the entity that put the idea in your head. 

there was a blanket over your shoulder when you came back from the station. it wasn’t yours, they gave it to you while you sat opposite to a stoic detective in a cold interrogation room, yet you made no move to shrug it off even after arriving at your apartment, fingers clutching the fabric like a lifeline and refusing to believe whatever that had transpired in ryujin’s apartment. 

eyes unseeing, stumbling with your steps, back hunched with the curse of the universe weighing down on your back—xiaojun couldn’t’ve been more proud of what he had done.

you were spiraling out of control. a self-destructive cycle you cannot seem to fight your way out of as your nightmares came back to haunt you. the tall waves of anxiety and paranoia drowning and pushing you under the surface. 

for once you don’t fight the current, you just let it pull you under. 

every time you close your eyes, you can hear the deafening screech of rubber tires against concrete before the car hits yeji. can vividly see the foams of the poison coming out of ryujin’s mouth as if it was caught on tape and is now playing on loop. 

your other friends have donned you as bad luck, cursed to have a fucked up life and will fuck up other people’s lives too if they get even as close as an arm length to you. too scared to lose any more people, you decided to completely push everyone away and had completely shut yourself out from the world beyond the four corners of your apartment. 

it’s like your trauma from before has come crawling back to you, only now, he brings himself a little friend called guilt. 

what are the odds that your two friends died after the other when the person they’ve each last spent time with was you? even the police found it too much a coincidence. if it wasn’t for the cctv cams in the corners of ryujin’s apartment, you’d be facing trial for a murder you didn’t commit. 

you eye the usb stuck in one of your laptop’s ports. it’s black, with an srj poisoning case written in red ink on the small patch of masking tape pasted onto the back of the plastic. 

after being stuck in an interrogation room for the last two hours, you had sneakily swiped it out of the detective's desk on your way out of the station. you remembered it was the usb with a copy of ryujin’s cctv cams, some underling busting into the interrogation room while in the middle of your questioning, holding the tiny usb between his fingers. 

your stomach churned when the detective looked at you spitefully, as if he couldn’t fucking care less of the evidence presented to him in a silver platter and would thoroughly take pleasure in throwing you in jail himself, guilty or not. the last look he shot you still sends shivers down your spine, the sharpness in his gaze as he regarded you. “you killed them. i know you did.”

a week of self-induced isolation later and you start to believe in it yourself. 

in the middle of screaming your lungs out and cursing the gods above for your sorry excuse of a life, you had thrown the usb somewhere in the apartment. not that you bothered to look for it right after, you were too busy wallowing in self pity before passing out on the living room floor. when you wake up, you’ve forgotten all about it. 

so it was interesting, seeing the usb again after days and days of wallowing in grief. you had fallen off the couch while in the middle of a slumber and you spotted the small piece of tech lying underneath it with the other empty coke cans. 

eyeing the laptop on the coffee table, you remember you haven’t taken a look at the evidence yourself—the detective had given you the stink eye when you tried shuffling closer to peep a look. carelessly, you shove all other objects off the table to pull the laptop closer. you plant yourself on the ground cross-legged, not batting an eyelash even when you feel the crumbs of chips against your skin. 

you boot the laptop on, thankful you’ve yet to forget its password, and plugged the usb in again. it was simple to navigate, to say the least, the folder popping up in a matter of seconds. you thought it stored a whole collection of her cctv footages but alas, it didn’t, saving you the time and energy scourging through unwanted boring files. 

hands shaking, you clicked on the video. 

and it was as if you’re thrown back into that event in your life that has now become a distant memory. the hug ryujin gave you when she opened the door, her words of comfort when you opened up about your deteriorating mental health after your friend passed away, and finally, the warm feel of the mug against the palm of your hand. 

wait a minute. 

you perk up from your seat, groaning aloud when your knee hits the underside of the coffee table at your haste, fingers darting around to press the back 10 seconds button. the sweat starts forming in your forehead and palms, making your hand feel clammy and disgusting but it was the last of your worries. 

did you see that correctly?

the quality is a bit low and the camera angle isn’t optimal. you can only see ryujin’s side profile but her glassy eyes are unmistakable and her actions look robotic at best. 

this is after she made your hot cocoa and had delivered it to your shivering, sniffling form on the couch, all bundled up snug and cozy in the blanket she provided. you remember ryujin winking as she walked back towards her kitchen after you thanked her. 

the way she poured poison in her own mug ruled her case as suicice. the evidence is right there in your face but the unease still sits heavy on your stomach and confusion clouds your brain like cannabis. 

this doesn’t make any sense. 

you knew her, ryujin. she’s never one to succumb to her negative emotions, always facing her problems with head held high. her overall mindset, in general, made her the last person you’d think would ever commit suicide. you’ve replayed the video a thousand times by now, still unable to wrap your head around the fact that she killed herself. 

having the sudden urge for another bottle of gatorade, you pressed the pause button as you try hauling yourself up with your arms. 

you pause. pushing your face closer to the laptop screen, rubbing at your eyes incredulously as you eye the corner of her kitchen. 

ryujin’s apartment isn’t that luxurious, nor is it too rundown, but there can be little exceptions here and there. 

like the cheap LED bulbs attached rather messily onto her ceiling, one of the six sources of light flickering on and off. you remember how many times you’ve told her to get it fixed yet she never really paid you any heed.

with shaking fingers, you replayed it one more time, hoping on everything you believe in that it wasn’t what it looks like. this can’t be it—how is that possible—

it’s him, the man who has appeared like an angel in your dream to sweep you away from evil. but standing in the corner, under the flickering lights of your friend’s kitchen, he looked anything but an angelic. 

your mind is going haywire, your body shook in confusion, and sweat started dribbling down your neck. you would’ve thought you made a mistake because how is this even possible? the angelic man in your dreams isn’t real—he can’t be real, he can’t appear like this when you aren’t even sleeping because he’s not real!

he can’t… right?

he doesn’t look too harmless, what with his hands crossed and leisurely leaning against the wall. but one look at his eyes and you know you’re wrong. even through the shit quality of the cctv footage you can still feel the fury and the absolute hate his eyes held as he stared her down menacingly, unblinking.

stared her down as she made her own cocoa, as she hunches down to open the sink cabinets to get that pesky rat poison, as she poured it on her mug, as she swirls the spoon around to mix the deadly concoction all together in a hauntingly robotic way that looked too much like ryujin was being told what to do.

and as you let the video play the rest of its content and felt like the tragedy was unfolding right before your very eyes again—you couldn’t breathe, panic gripping onto you like a vice, the sharp talons of fear sinking deep under your skin. 

you don’t register the coffee table toppling over in your haste to stand up. desperately putting a distance between you and the laptop as you turned and stumbled towards the hallway leading to your bedroom. 

you stop, pathetically landing on your knees before the open archway. if you hadn’t been shaking in fear before, then you surely were now. 

he’s here—can you even call it a he?

the man stands at the end of the hallway. in that similar, non-threatening stature with his arms crossed and body leaning against the wall. 

but the mischief in his eyes is enough of a warning. 

he’s come for you. 

he’s come to finish the job. 

“finally figured it out?”

you screamed, throwing the closest thing you can at him as you shuffle someplace else in your apartment. his laugh sounded pleasant in the ear when you were off in dreamland, but now? it sounded like nails grating against a chalkboard. 

your legs eventually led you to the front door. appearances be damned. you weren’t even wearing a bra and you haven’t showered for days but fuck no you’re not going to stay here with that—that—that monster!

“baby, don’t leave! the fun hasn’t even started yet!”

you grab the doorknob and twist, practically throwing yourself out into the hallway, eyes frantic as you stumble and land face first against—

sticky. the floor’s sticky and there was a smell you can’t seem to pinpoint. it’s tangy, metallic, and you can almost taste the scent yourself in your tongue and when you look down—you want to throw up. 

lying next to each other in pools of their own blood, lies yeji and ryujin side by side, faces towards each other. their eyes hauntingly empty and unseeing as they stared up at you. 

you shrieked, voice scratching against your dry throat as you threw yourself back into your apartment, the door slamming shut in itself. you didn’t care if there’s now a huge mess of blood staining the carpets on the foyer. you curl in on yourself, hair sticking to your face as you covered your ears and shut your eyes. 

“oh, my love…”

you felt his presence before you can hear him. 

a flashback plays in your head—hot chocolate, soft blankets, and a friend who you loved with all your heart. “don’t you think it’s a little chilly in here?"

you answered. “no, not really?”

the tears start streaming like waterfalls, mixing with the blood and sweat already caked in your face. ryujin knew, she felt it back at her apartment yet you disregarded her completely.

“it’s not your fault,” the entity’s hands are ice cold when he gently pulls at your wrist. “everything is as it should be. now, open your eyes. there’s nothing to be afraid of. i’m not going to hurt you.”

stubbornly, you shook your head as you squeezed your lids even tighter, refusing to look at the monster dead in the eye.

“don’t be like that, my love. if i wanted to hurt you, i would’ve done it a long time ago.”

you don’t listen, hunching and curling your knees even more against your torso as you try to block out his voice. it’s unfair how gentle it sounded but your blood ran cold when you realize this is how he got ryujin to poison herself, this is how he got yeji to walk in front of a speeding car—

“hail mary, full—full of grace,” you pray under your breath, shaking like a leaf. “the lord… the lord is with thee. blessed art thou among women…”

“you’re praying?” there’s an underlying mocking to e in his voice. “this is fucking hilarious!”

your incessant mumbling partnered with how you rocked your body back and forth, made something snap within xiaojun. he already stated he won’t hurt you! did he break you so much that now you’re unable to hear stuff properly, too?

“holy mary, mo—mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and—and at the hour of our death, amen. hail mary, full of grace…”

“stop.” his body twitches, having the sudden urge to pull all his hair out and burn this fucking building to the ground.

yet you continue. “the lord is with thee, blessed art thou among—among women and blessed is the… the fruit of thy womb, jesus…”

“i said stop, [name]. don’t fucking test me.”

“holy mary, mother of god—pray—pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our—”

you screeched in pain as your forehead comes in contact with a mirror, the sound of it shattering is deafening to the ears. his icy fingers let go of your nape, letting you fall hard to the ground. your ears perk up at the sound of streaming water. 

you weren’t in the foyer anymore, you feel cold tiles instead of the rough texture of the dirty carpet underneath you. eyes fluttering, you slowly pry them open, and the first thing you see is the faulty pipes found underneath your bathroom’s sink. patches of your clothes start getting wet. 

“you think a prayer of all things can stop me? i’m insulted!” you hiss when he grabs your face, hands so cold that it feels like you’re skin is burning off. “i was going to play nice.”

he pulls you towards him, hand encased around your throat. he shoves the open hair dryer into the half-filled bath tub as you feel him vibrate against you. “you don’t know how long i waited, how much energy i needed to appear to you like this.”

it’s with dread you realize that he’s actually giggling.

you whine, eyes feeling like it’ll pop out of their sockets when he squeezed your neck tighter. with a sudden rush of adrenaline, you anchor your wrists against his arm but it proves to be useless when he’s too strong. 

“please,” you wheezed. “i did… i did nothing wrong. let go—please.”

in the corner of your eyes, you stare at him from the mirror, stomach twisting in discomfort when you see him throwing his head back, eyes rolling up after taking a long whiff of your hair. “this—this fear you have, my love, only makes me stronger.”

“nothing… i did nothing wrong—please! please… let, let me go…” you’re starting to feel lightheaded, black spots floating around your vision. 

“nothing? are you sure about that?” 

you cringe when he licks up the tears in your face, toes curling at the sheer disgust you feel. but the words he spews next is far worse than the hand he’s wrapped around your throat. 

“didn’t you left your mom alone with that abusive asshole? didn’t you make yeji walk into that incoming car? didn’t you make ryujin drink that poison?”

he whispers them so softly, so gently that you almost mistook them as proclamations of love. 

“no…” your voice breaks. 

“yes. yes, you did,” he knew you like the back of his hand, knew what to say and how to say them for you to break in his arms. “you killed them, my love. you’re a murderer. you don’t even deserve to be alive after all of the things you’ve done.”

it’s almost pathetic how you shake your head, eyes closed, refusing to acknowledge the truth. 

“that’s… that’s not true…”

“you’re a curse to the people you love, the embodiment of they're suffering. don’t you see it?”

“stop lying!—”

“am i?” he retorts, maneuvering you around to face the mirror. you swore you covered the whole thing with black paint. “just look at yourself.”

oh, how badly he wants to shove your face against the mirror but he mustn't get ahead of himself. 

“did any of your friends even visit you to see how you’re doing?” no, they never did. he smiles like he knows what you’re thinking. “the answer is all before you now, my love. you need to see through the haze and accept it for what it really is. no one loves you. even the god you’re praying to didn’t answer. there’s nothing, no one, left.”

and for the first time since he has you in his tight hold, you stopped fighting. sobs wracking through your body as your shoulders slump and accept defeat. 

xiaojun automatically lets you go, cooing like a lover in your ear as he tucks you into his embrace. “you want this all to stop, don’t you? someone to save you?”

you nodded, unable to look at him as his hand came up to wipe away your tears. no one has ever done that for you in months ever since yeji and ryujin died.

“i’m here,” xiaojun says, running fingers through your hair comfortingly. “i’m your light, your only saviour. you want that, right, my love?” choice is a mere illusion but he likes keeping up with formalities. 

you fail to notice the steps he took towards the now overflowing bathtub, too lost in the new highs and lows of emotions you feel. 

“yes.”

it only took seconds to push you into the tub. its water buzzing with a live electric current brought by the hair dryer he dropped only minutes ago.

the effect is instantaneous. he watches your muscle spasm, your skin growing darker as the live water fries your body alive. quickly, xiaojun reaches down to lift your head out the water, not wanting to ruin your pretty face.

the last thing you feel is xiaojun’s cold lips pressing against your own, the gentle caress as he wiped your tears away… and the electricity finally passing through your heart. 

when the entity pulls away from your dead body, he only whispers three things—“mine, at last.”

[seancekitsch]

Barefoot

warnings: angst, communication issues, talking about relapsing, addiction, drugs and alc, not overtly mentioned but like these characters are like this bc of trauma and repression, spoilers for the movie the graduate which i severely misunderstood as a kid, dirty fuckin smut

When you wake up, Klaus isn’t there. Just like yesterday. Just like the day before yesterday.  Or the day before that. The bed is cold even with you in the sheets. Light streams into the window but it does nothing to help. The studio is drafty and it will only get colder in the winter months, and those socks are already coming in handy. Rent is due soon and while you’d be surprised if Klaus left you alone with the lease, you’d couldn’t be sure. People had left you before, but Klaus is the one you wouldn't know how to cope without. His tea from four days ago is still sitting on the bistro table, cold and settling, surely disgusting but you’re afraid that if you touch it, if you clean it up, well then. Klaus wouldn’t return. Klaus would be gone from this apartment . Vanishing himself from this studio and this life like one of his ghosts. The tea would evaporate eventually or grow mold but it was all you had to hold onto for him to come back. Maybe it all wasn’t real. Maybe it was a trick of your imagination. Maybe you’re the ghost. Maybe you’re just a trick of his imagination that he got tired of playing with and-

Fuck. That’s when you realize you’re in a bad way. 

What do normal people do when they feel things getting bad again? Do other people feel the backslide and just somersault into it by refusing to clean or get out of bed? By dealing with the pitiful look from their boss by buying absinthe on the way home from work? God, the look Margie gave you. It killed you. By convincing themselves that all of this good they just had was just a Belle Reve and you were Blanche about to be taken right back to the clinic? You actively gag as you sip from the bottle starting around noon, the sweetness at first being a fun distraction, now actively grossing you out as you continued to drain it. Absinthe wasn't actually the plan, it was just there, it was just strong. Now you regret it and wish you got something you even liked. At least this is the worst of it, though. Before you would have fully slid back into your old ways and not thought twice. 

You wonder if there was something about your role in what transpired, if there was something you could have done or not done to change the outcome. Could you have kissed him and shut him up so he never would have said ‘I love you’? Could you have done something other than shake your head ‘no’ out of panic and start to cry? Could you have just said it fucking back because you mean it too? Could you have not continued to panic and said something along the lines of “I’m not a replacement for Dave” when Klaus tried to say it again? Could you have said or done anything just to stop him from hastily dressing himself and leaving in the middle of the night, leaving you there silently crying on the bed? If he were anyone else, you would have said it back immediately, because if it were anyone but him, words would be something you just threw around aimlessly. They're just words. You'd said it a million times to your ex-fiance. If this were anyone else, you would have said it back immediately, and probably relapsed the next morning in panic. But it isn't anyone else. Its Klaus fucking Hargreeves. It's the guy from across the hall at the clinic. It's the guy who helped you steal socks, then a table to eat dinner at. It's the guy you literally have traveled across time and space for. And you did love him. It wasn't just a phrase. You knew that for a while now, but part of you would have liked to keep it hidden forever. Because once you say it, the bubble bursts. It's out there and you can't take it back. It's real and tangible and it's not the fantasy of Klaus, it's Klaus himself. In order to say it you'd have to kill the fantasy Klaus. You’d have to murder him and all of the mythology around him and live in the real world with him, which might have even been stranger than any fantasy you could come up with. He deserved better than this. He deserves more than me, you think, than someone who would hurt him to protect herself. Selfish bitch. Gotta do better. By the time you finish half the bottle, eat your cold lo mein take out from two days ago, and decide to take a nap, you've made a decision. If you ever see Klaus Hargreeves again (which is doubtful because you don't plan on leaving this bed unless it's for work and even that feels like not a good enough reason) you'll kill the fantasy Klaus and commit to loving the real Klaus.

But sleep doesn't come. The cold leftovers sit like a rock in your stomach, not at all mixing well with the green liquorice liquor you've downed, so you lay there eyes-closed begging for the pain to subside. It's a familiar feeling, much like the week and a half in the bed before Klaus inserted himself into your life. The ache and the want for more than you have but the inability to give it to yourself. So you lay there. You just lay there, for hours. Thank god Margie gave you a few days off. You lose all track of time just laying there, actively trying not to think, trying to ignore how you feel both physically and mentally, curling into the sheets until you can feel yourself melt into them.  

It’s dark when you hear the keys rattle in the lock, and then the door opens. You keep your eyes shut, because if you do you can pretend it’s an intruder, coming to rob you of your mismatched dishes and beat up old record player before killing you. Which is a reasonable and comforting fantasy that you rather hide in than face Klaus. Klaus was real and Klaus loved you and Klaus got in your head. The intruder is a fantasy and the intruder is horror and the intruder might not even let you beg for your life. You can gladly imagine the intruder using keys that maybe he stole off of Klaus to come in here and steal all of your monetarily worthless shit and then just stab you or something anticlimactic. You know exactly what you want to say to Klaus and how to say it but you don’t know if it’ll come out of your mouth when the time comes, so you cling to this stupid horrible thought to take your mind off of the sound of footsteps entering the apartment. So you keep your eyes shut when you hear the sound of boots being taken off, when you hear the deflating sigh, the pattering around the room slowly before you hear the sounds of ruffling, probably his coat being taken off. You keep your eyes shut as there's a distinct silence in the room besides your best fake-asleep deep breathing. Like he's holding his breath and waiting for something.

You lay still, keeping up the fake sleeping, as the mattress creaks and dips next to you and Klaus sighs again. He emanates the warmth that had all but been stoked from the apartment and left you shivering. You can feel yourself pulling towards him, wanting to wrap your arms around him and hold him and never let go again, but you don't. There's always the off chance this is just a very strong hallucination brought on by the bottle of green fairy on the floor next to the bed. But fuck, if you dont wanna just pull him close. 

“I know you're awake,” he says lowly, so close to you. His face is centimeters from yours, if you had to guess, nose just almost touching your own.

“You know, I used to watch you sleep all the time. You- you do this… this cute twitchy thing when you're out cold,” he continues. He sighs, realizing you're either much more stubborn than he thought or much more avoidant of anything vulnerable than he is. It took him a day of sitting on Diego’s floor while being lectured for his drinking habits for him to realize that he couldn't give up with you. He made peace with the fact that he couldn't save Dave. He couldn't change history, but he could change the future he could have with you if only he didn't let this go. But it was his conversation with your boss that had him worried. It wasn't like you not to show up for work, even if things were tough.

 “You know you’re actually terrible at faking it, right?” he asks, for clarification. You want to open your eyes, to laugh, but you keep them shut and a tear escapes down your cheek.

“Can you— can you just look at me? Please?”

It hurts, it fucking hurts but you shake your head no.

“Oh don’t do that shit again. C’mon, doc, look at me!”

You can’t.

“Your tea went cold. I-I’m sorry,” is barely a whisper. But you say it. And he hears it.

“Hey! Hey hey hey, don’t worry about that. Don’t worry.”

He chooses his next words very carefully. If you were to open your eyes, you’d see him yearning to touch you, a worried and pained expression all over his handsome features. You’d see his hair just as unkempt as yours and the tee shirt he’s wearing is also obviously yours. You’d see those beautiful green eyes doing their best impression of bambi right after the hunting scene.

“What have you... what’s been going on? You haven’t been by the shop.”

“You went there?” you whisper again. Still kind of afraid this all isn’t real. You know it is because you feel his breath fanning out against your face and you feel the bed becoming the warm welcoming thing it once was.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. Margie said you weren’t coming in for a week.”

“She spoke to you?” you wince. Knowing that was probably highly unpleasant for the both of them. Half the time when he showed up at the end of your shift she made him wait outside of the shop and refused to look at him.

“Yeah Margie, christ that woman loves you.”

Your eyes shoot open, startling him a little, but he relaxes by the time your eyes adjust to the dark. You see him and only him. Everything is Klaus.

“Listen, I-“ You start a little too loudly, scaring yourself.

“No, no. Don’t say something you don’t mean. Don’t say it back because I said it.”

Fuck. Fuck is he even going to believe it when I say it? If not what’s the fucking point? You feel more tears pricking at your eyes and you crumble a little. The burst of confidence is gone as you curl farther in on yourself, feeling your legs brush his as you let out just the tiniest choked sob. He’s frozen, and your hand is searching, blindly grabbing against the sheet until it comes in contact with his. Hurriedly, as if he would sift through your fingers like sand, you entangle your fingers with his and squeeze as hard as you can. Like if you let go he goes too. You can’t lose him again but it sounds like a break up. It sounds like what you remember a break up sounding like.

“Please,” fuck you sound pathetic.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine. It’s okay if you don’t love me back. I can go stay at Diego’s or Vanya’s or something and we can figure out how to get out of the lease early. Anything you want. I just wanted to let you know I meant what I said. You’re not a replacement for anyone. You’re who I want. But you don’t have to want me back. I’ll... live.” he finishes flatly, devoid. 

Your heart is officially breaking. Into a million tiny fucking pieces. A memory comes to the forefront of your mind in that moment. The first time you choked him. The way he looked up at you. The way you realized at that second just how many people probably took advantage of him in the past. The way he probably thinks you’ve done to him now too.

“No, Klaus please listen to me,” your voice doesn’t sound like your own, doesn’t feel like your own. You feel far away from him even though his hand is clasped in your own. You feel like that scene in the graduate where Dustin Hoffman is interrupting Elaine Robinson’s wedding. Screaming and slamming fists against the glass trying to change your fate. Trying to get him to see.

“I was scared. Fuckin terrified. I- I- I- I’ve never said those words and meant it before,” you gasp between sobs now much more eager to spill out of your mouth, “It wasn’t you, I got in my own head about it. I got surprised. I love you, Klaus. I love you so fucking much I  didn’t touch a fucking thing in this apartment because I was afraid somehow that meant you wouldn’t come back. I know I’m not replacing Dave. I know. I don’t know why I said that. I've wanted to take it back since the second I said it. I've hurt so  many people and I hurt the one person I didn’t wanna hurt. I never wanna hurt you again. I love you. fuck. I don’t want to stop saying that. I love you.”

Klaus... is surprisingly quiet through your little speech. Maybe it’s because you can’t control what your voice is doing, and you’re crying. He’s staring at you so hard it feels as if he's trying to look through you, see the transparencies, see the truth in what you're saying. You want to shrink under his gaze, knowing he's trying to sus out if you mean it, feeling vulnerable each passing ticking second.

But then his hand squeezes yours back just as hard. If he squeezed hard enough he could easily crush a few of your bones, and you'd let him if it meant he understood.

“You do,” more a confirmation than a question.

“I do.”

“Say it.”

“I love you.”

“Say it again.”

“I love you,” with more force, more conviction.

“Once more, with feeling!” a smile is beginning to grace his lips.

“I fucking love you, Klaus!” you shout pretty much directly into his face. He doesn't mind a damn bit. He presses forward eagerly; releasing your hand only to roughly cup the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin. It hurts, but in the most satisfying way. Your hands reach and grip for his face, greedily moving your palms over his jawbone as you lock him into place. Klaus is dizzying in his fervor, barely letting you keep up as his teeth clatter against yours, bite at your lips, his tongue darting between your tasting lips and tickling the roof of your mouth. there’s no letting up to the onslaught even as his hands travel, one hand trailing trimmed nails down your back, sure to leave a mark even with the barrier of your shirt, the other groping at your chest, seeking out a nipple to harshly pinch, making you squeak into his mouth in shock at his actions. As possessive and kinky as he could be at times, he has never been this rough with you. And you like it. He takes the time to bite down on your bottom lip, pull away, shake his head a little before mercifully releasing it and putting his forehead to yours.

“Oh you, you—“ he draws out, scoffs, “you wicked thing. You had me worried.”

“I’m sorry,” you gasp.

His grip on you softens, relaxes. His eyes shut just so, full of contentment. His nose nuzzles forward until you're cheek to cheek, and you can feel your cheek isn't the only one that's a little damp.

“Stop apologizing. I have you back now,” he whispers, sounding the most at peace you've ever heard him. He presses a kiss to the skin right at the place where your jawbone and ear meet, making you shiver at the sound of contact. He pulls you flush with his body, a tight hug, just holding you there before maneuvering your body so you were laying flat, your chest and shoulders pressed to the bed while he presses kisses to your face.

“Trust me,” he says, and you do. He lays himself back down, on top of you, and fuck, you love this. You love when he lays on you, when you feel his weight resting on you. Earlier today you thought you'd never feel this again, and the fact that thought was false has you grinning from ear to ear and reaching back to play with his curls as his arms find their way under you to hug you as you chant your love for him like a mantra. And then you feel it. Klaus is hard as a rock. Poor thing, it's been almost a week for him, when the two of you were so used to going at it basically anytime you had a spare half hour. Playfully, you grind back into him a little bit. Nothing that means business, but just a little brush of your ass against his cock to have him squirm a little. He reacts immediately with a growl and buries his face in the side of your neck to kiss and bite your neck and shoulder, while one hand removes itself from the hug to slide up your shirt again and blindly grope at your chest. Two can play at this game. You grind back again, a little harder, a little more deliberate in your movements this time. You're both chuckling as he starts to grind back, both feeling extremely free and confident in your control over each other's bodies. He knows he could have your sweatpants off and be inside you in under a minute, and you know you could easily have him blow his load in his pants if you keep it up teasing him like this. But how long can you really keep it up without wanting to give in to your own desires? You're painfully aware that it's been days you've had to survive without Klaus’ touch, too.

“You wanna end kiddie hour here?” he asks, and he couldn't have asked soon enough, because you're shimmying your sweatpants down with clumsy help from your hand that's somewhat trapped under him and laughing as he just as blunderingly removes his. Neither of you bother to fully remove them because the second his cock makes contact with your skin you're sighing and reminding him you love him. He lines himself up with you without using his hands like this is something he just instinctively knows how to do. 

When he pushes into you, you whimper. Full on whimper like it's too much even though this is something you've done hundreds of times with him, but somehow it's new. Maybe making love isn't just a sentimental name for fucking. Maybe you're making love for the first time. Maybe now you know the difference. He brings the arm that was under your shirt back up and trails it down your arm until it gets to your hand, where he rubs his palm against your knuckles, almost inquisitively before tangling your fingers together and squeezing. Holding it in place. His other arm reaches just a little further, hugging you from behind and giving your waist a little squeeze as a ‘get ready’ signal. You tilt your ass back up at him a little as he pulls out, thrusts back in again. Only this time his thrust is punctuated with an “I love you”.

And so is the next one. 

And the next one. 

Until he works up a rhythm that leaves the both of you moaning and stuttering. You hike up one leg, changing the angle so slightly that his hips snap up into you in a way guaranteed to bruise. You’d happily have it hurt to sit for the next week if he kept fucking into you like he would break you. Klaus puts his full strength into fucking you, legs pinning you to the mattress as he uses the arm that’s holding your hand for extra leverage. Sweat dripping off of his chest as he kisses your back and moans and laughs into your skin. It’s times like this you remember your partner is fully trained in combat. For someone so lean, he’s strong, and he has strong control over the muscles in his body. It’s like a kind of clairvoyance he has to know exactly what parts of your body to touch, what to do to have you losing it around him all the time. Is Klaus Clairvoyant? You think as the angle of his thrusts changes ever so slightly, but still at that rough pace, now making your clit grind into the sheets beneath you making you scream out.

“That’s right, baby. You feel good?” he groans. Little shit.

“Yeah,” you whine, looking back to make eye contact.

“Who’s making you feel good?” Oh, he’s working for an ego stroke as well as a cock stroke. You’ll give it to him. Klaus deserves it.

“Oh, fuck— y-you, Klaus”

“And who do you love?”

“Fuck. You, Klaus! I love you so much,” words leak from your mouth like a sieve. “I love how- how you fuck me so good.”

“That’s right, and now I'm gonna make you come. Trust me.”

That's the second time tonight he’s asked you to trust him. You do, unwaveringly.He gives you no time to react before he speeds up his thrusts and the hand around your waist dips lower. He leans off of you a little, giving you a little more space, but plunges his hand between your legs. instead of stopping at your clit, he goes as far as to push a finger, his middle finger, up into you as well. And then the bastard curls his finger just slightly. The action has you turning into the pillow to scream. It's too much. It's too much. You've never been this full in your life and now it feels almost sinful how easily you are coming apart for him. You're shaking and with the added pressure of his finger you can feel just how hard your body is squeezing his cock. You can feel tears leaving your eyes for the second time tonight as you babble about how much you love him and your body jolts for his touch. He finishes too, inside you and happily pushed into the hilt. The whine that leaves your throat when he pulls out finally is unfair and needy. Already missing being so full of him. He rolls back over so that he's not on top of you, and pulls you in tight.

“I don't want to stop saying it,” he mutters into your hair, and you wait for him to continue patiently. 

“I don't want to stop saying I love you.”

“Then don't.”

“I won't. But I will throw away this take out. This lo mein is old. It smells.”

You laugh loud and hearty, and he gets up from the bed, fully kicking his pants off as he does so, and there's no fear that he won't come back to bed with you this time.

[orange-waterfalls]

Trans Male Reader HCs

ty @peachyplays​ for the request!

A/N: PEACHY SIR I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UHHHHHH but im still alive. i am here. im fine. this is some hcs about before transitioning and during and a lil after bc i feel like after it would just be. pretty normal. uh i did the 5 that appeared in ahwm, excluding heistiplier bc ehhhh. Darkipier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Magnum. Rated T, i think. TW: mention of periods, scars, binding, dysphoria. Yeah. I think that’s it. Enjoy!

Trans Male!Reader HCs

Darkiplier

Doesn’t really care

You have girl parts. Great

He has a century old demonic entity+a pair of twins. You're not special

Tries to be understanding, but mostly just doesn’t address it very much

There’s no need to! He loves you, it doesn't matter to him!

He will try to make you feel comfortable if you start to feel dysphoric

If you menstruate, he deals with it well

Both Damien and Celine would know precisely what to do so…

Heating pad, candy, movies + snuggles

Makes you lay down and hold the heating pad while you wait for the painkillers to kick in

Has a timer for 10 hours and you WILL take your binder off when it goes off

Is not afraid to threaten you over it

You know he doesn’t mean it and DAMMIT MAN YOU’RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF

If you start to take T, he just sits next to you

It might seem like he’s vibrating a little

That’s just the emotion seeping out

It seems like he doesn’t pay attention to your voice

In reality he listens closely everyday for how much deeper it went

You expected him to laugh when your voice cracked

he just asked you to repeat what you said

You appreciated that

He offers to pay for your top surgery if you decide to get it

Whether you say yes or know, he supports you

But he’s also nervous because Surgery

He checks the history of every person who even might be near you

Your surgeon was acting “strange” so he interrogated the poor man

You then explained he was doing his JOB

He squeezes your hand and kisses the back of it before you go into surgery.

The others have to convince him that you are not, in fact, going to Die

When you get out of surgery he stands on the other side of the room, waiting

He looks straight out of a horror movie

You almost scream when you wake up

He steps into the light holding a basket of fruit

He’s been watching a lot of romance movies…

Makes sure you DON’T FUCKING MOVE when you get home

You are going to LAY THERE and HEAL and you’re gonna LIKE IT

Often asks how your scars feel

A little defensive if people ask about them

A bit protective, but pretty much the same as before

Wilford

I don’t… I don’t think he comprehends the situation

I don’t think he knows what you mean, i’ll be honest

I think he just. Loves you. And filters everything else out.

Because unless it changes how you feel about him, it Does Not Matter

He treats you the same way he always does

Which includes being extra clingy and cuddly when you’re feeling bad or dysphoric

If you menstruate he goes into Good Boyf mode

Meaning he absolutely SPOILS you, moreso than usual

Cooks for you, buys you… a lot of things you probably don’t need…

Asks "is it shark week?" and buys extra detergent

You will take your binder off when it's time

You have no choice in the matter

and when you don't he somehow gets it off of you???

I dunno man, he's like. A god. Who knows

He WILL make sure you're safe and healthy whether you like it or not

If you start to take T, he's not allowed at the clinic

He's banned from like. Everywhere.

He always makes sure to say your voice sounds deeper

Even if it's early and it doesn't and you KNOW it doesn't, he says it anyways

He's just being supportive, it's fine

He's a lil nervous if you decide to get top surgery

The idea of someone just straight up cutting you while you're ASLEEP???

hate. bad. no thanks.

He tries to watch through a window but has to give up bc he just starts feeling Bad.

he sits and bounces his leg in the waiting room and plays with a fidget toy you got him

He basically teleports into the room when you're out

The nurse faints because what the FUCK

He just holds his bowl of chicken noodle soup while they're dragged out of the room

You eat and talk for a bit and he just gazes at you bc your voice is so nice

He's very smothering when you get home

Thinks you're gonna hurt yourself whenever you do anything

sit DOWN you dumbass you're gonna TEAR YOUR STITCHES

makes you binge a bunch of movies with him

He doesn't really pay attention, just watches you to see if you need anything

likes to trace and kiss your scars if you let him

Loves you so much <333

Yancy

I mean. He probably doesn't know what you mean

You are? a boy? I don't?

You explain and THEN he understands

He's a lil dumb, it's ok.

He isn't quite sure how to make you feel better when you're dysphoric??

Does he call you manly? Does he completely ignore you? What does he do?!

Eventually he’s settled on awkwardly calling you “Handsome” and “very masculine”

If you menstruate, he panics

He's had a mom before, he knows what it does

He doesn’t know how to make you feel better

He doesn’t wanna coddle you but also he likes feeling like he’s needed

He tries to cook for you but uh. yeah that didn't work out

The cook kicked him out and then made it themself, having Yancy deliver it to you

He convinced the warden to give him painkillers as well, and buys you candy

He’ll make sure you take your binder off when you need to

Might be a little lax, like with a child

“Okay… 30 more minutes. But then yous is takin' it off!”

Doesn’t fully understand the repercussions of you not taking it off

Once he does he literally BEGS you to take it off

Actually started crying one time

If you start T he asks a bunch of questions you probably don't know the answer to

He’s fascinated by how much your voice changes

He bites his lip to not laugh whenever your voice cracks

Once your voice gets like. As deep as it will go he kisses you and says you sound hot

He will panic if you decide to get top surgery

Constantly suggests robbing a bank or robbing a rich person

“There’s some expensive shit that’s been confiscated, i can help!”

When the day actually comes he's on the consistent verge of a panic attack

he can't even like BE there because. prison.

He cries while everyone else has to comfort him for the entire time you're healing

Once you see him again he interrogates you to make sure you're taking care of yourself

A guard lets you two have a little time alone, and you two talk about it

If you let him, he wants to see the result

He gives you a big hug and tells you how much he loves you

Illinois

Probably the only one who actually understands and actually KNOWS shit

though he's too narcissistic to really… like… care

He loves you, but like. If you don’t mention it he doesn’t really feel a need to

He will make sure you’re okay, he knows when you act weird

Other than that he doesn’t actively do much

He says "hey there handsome" or something like that every morning, and that's about it

If you menstruate, he just tosses you painkillers and says there's ice cream in the freezer

I mean. that's pretty much all you need

He will cuddle if you ask, though

Also flirts with you and talks to you more

If you bind, he will be very pushy about it

Will not let you do anything until you take your binder off after the designated amount of time

if he's on an adventure, he calls the others to go to your place and tell you to take your binder off

He knows you won't listen but I mean shit he doesn't want you hurt

If you DONT take it off and have bruises he will straight up blackmail you

Keep doing this, you don't get any cuddles or kisses

Mostly for your benefit bc. bruises. but still

If you start T, he will help, but only if you ask

When your voice cracks he laughs

He apologizes while still laughing

He sleeps on the couch a lot

A little startled after he comes home from an adventure and your voice is deep?? hot???

If you get surgery, he’s relatively calm

He doesn’t like the sounds and smells of the hospital, though.

They weird him out

He’ll kiss you a bunch before you go into surgery and then waits outside.

Probably goes to get some food as well

When you’re out, he sits by you and eats, waiting for you to wake up

He slides an apple over to you and tells you to eat if you feel like it

He does his best to take care of you at home

He knows how to heal, and you need to SIT your ass down

Stays home from adventures while you heal

He doesn’t trust you to take care of yourself

He will not ASK you to take care of yourself he will TELL you because he KNOWS how you are

Stares at your scars sometimes

He doesn’t mean to be rude, they're just… there

He likes them. They’re cool. They’re yours, how could he not?

Tries to be as respectful as he can be

Kisses your scars. Like a lot. Like a LOT a lot.

He has a thing for scars, they’re badass

Captain Magnum

Completely Does Not Understand

At the same time, Does Not Care

Can you shoot? Can you stab? Can you loot? Then you’re perfect

Treats you the same way as the rest of his crew but with a lil more special attention

That attention being calling you rugged and tough

If you menstruate, he recommends hanging out with the rest of them to distract you

He also recommends LOOTING!

You’re pirates, what else would he want from you

Will stop in a town to buy whatever you need, if you ask

But you can probably get something from some other crewmates

If you bind, he won't let you do anything until you take it off when you need to

Think you can trick him bc he doesn't know what's happening?

SURPRISE BITCH HE LOOKED IT UP

ya can't fool the man, he may be stupid but he's not dumb

If you want to start T, he’ll stay in one town for a while.

Understands that you need this, and doesn’t want you to be upset

NO he’s not playing favorites but yes he absolutely is

Doesn’t ask questions, it’s not his business

However, if you explain, he will listen

Will be elated if you steal from the town

He’s still a pirate, and you are still his boyfriend, you had to do something

Makes you sing sea shanties when your voice gets deeper

Better be prepared to sing the chorus alone, even if you’re a shit singer

He just loves to hear it and therefore EVERYONE ELSE will hear it too

If you get surgery, he’s very nervous

He's never really been in a hospital but he thinks it's unnatural

Too white. Too clean. Too much.

Refuses to go in the hospital, but gives you a tight hug before you go in

He then regrets not going in because he misses you a lot :(

Once you're out and can go back on the ship he's very gentle

He's not a gentle man, but he tries

Makes you stay in your quarters and tries to make you comfy

Doesn't really know what to do so let's a crewmate help you

Claims that your scars make you badass! and attractive!

Puts you on the front lines to boost up your confidence

It only makes you nervous really, but you appreciate the effort

[miridiums-writing]

Loki x reader

This is the longest thing I've ever written, also having to post on my phone because I dont have a computer so I apologise I can to the read more thingy

Summary; Loki decides to prank his brother one night and end up becoming a therapist for Y/N, currently the most withdrawn are tough to crack of the bunch, as a snake

Warning; swearing, panic attacks, depression, self-harm, past abuse, past sexual assault, mentions of medical torture, death of a friend, the team seeming like dickheads, I do apologise. Also, may have plugged in my favourite power again…… please don’t hate me, reader is so oblivious it should be illegal. Please don’t read if this triggers you!!

Word count; 2k

Loki slowly slithered down the hallway, scales making a noise very comforting to him against the floor. Being a snake gave him a sense of peace and freedom. Tonight, he was heading for only one room, Thor’s. he hadn’t pranked his brother in a month and felt it was necessary to do so now. As he passed one more door until he reached his destination, he heard sniffling and hiccupping coming from the room. Loki’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to investigate. The room was dark, though he could make out to outline of a person under the blankets, full on sobbing now. Loki carefully manoeuvred his small form up the bedframe to the person. They were shaking and sobbing rather badly now, he moved under the blankets and towards the person.

Loki was now curled around the persons hand that was currently gripping onto their hair harshly, almost of the verge of ripping it out. He started to lick at anything he could noticing quickly they were caught in a panic. Their panic was crashing down on them, making them unable to see him or even recognize he was there. Their breathing was laboured and harsh as if they had just run a marathon. Loki tightened himself around their hand in the hopes the pain would ground them. He relaxed when he heard them yelp, pulling the blankets off themselves to look down at Loki. Loki’s blood ran cold when he saw their face. There you were, tears staining your face and eyes red raw, confusion setting into your features as you looked down at him.

“thanks,” you said, your voice rough from crying. “I probably would still be panicking without you.” To you Loki was simply a snake looking up at you curiously. Currently Loki’s mind was screaming. What if they knew it was him and got mad for eaves dropping, what that why you were talking to him as you would a person? You were racking a shaky hand through your hair now, looking as though you were battling with yourself. Like you wanted to say something, but you were unsure. Loki was starting to look to find a way out when you started to speak again. “Fuck it, it’s not like I can talk to actual people,” you look Loki in the eye. “Plus, its not like a snake can look at me with pity.” Loki was slightly confused now, wondering where you were going with this. “ok, how should I? you know what ill just start from the beginning and see where I go shall we?” you gave Loki an unsure smile, though it further confused Loki to see how genuine it was.

“I have anxiety and depression. Um, I self-harmed, still do sometimes when it gets too much, I-uh- fuck I don’t know” you were looking across the room now, fiddling with your hands trying to explain. Loki curled up on your lap again and decided to wait for you to continue. It might help and he didn’t want to leave you alone like this, no matter how scary you were. “My parents were, well, they were shit. I was the oldest, so I took most of the attacks they handed out, punishments I took most of even if I wasn’t the one at fault. When I turned ten-” you cut yourself off to wipe away the tears pooling around your eyes “Sorry,” you chocked out as more tears made their way down your face. “Just, give me a second”

Loki continued to patiently wait for you to continue. He was honestly intrigued now. Maybe learning about your past could help him form a bridge between you, especially since you always seemed to distance yourself from everyone. He knew everyone needed someone to lean on. The tears had slowed again, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“ok, when I turned 14 I was sold off, my parents were fed up of dealing with me and they ripped me away from those I cared about. I was sold at auction from money and given from person to person” your features were changing now, anger contorting your face “I was used as property, a toy, not a person, something people can just own. Used again and again, my innocence ripped from me!” you were yelling now though when you noticed you took a calm breath “sorry. So yes, I was basically a sex toy for gross old men. Though a good thing came from it. When I turned 17, I met a guy called Phoenix. He was, awesome. So genuine, so kind. We were both in this awful situation, but we had each other, we told everything about ourselves to each other and it was a freedom I hadn’t had before them. An actual friend.” The tears had started again but you just wiped them away and continued your story, Loki hadn’t moved yet, frozen in place through the power of your words. “when we were 18, phoenix was taken out the cell one night. Dragged by his hair outside. I remember vividly, we were both crying reaching for each other.” Your hands were clenched in anger now. “THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” you looked down at the snake in anger, though when your eyes met you tried to breath again, trying to keep calm. After a few minutes of deep breathes you continued once more. “I guess I could say a piece of me was lost that day, I lost the only thing I had left and I just broke. I was numb, I didn’t move, I didn’t eat, I didn’t do anything. When they found I couldn’t be useful as a sex toy anymore they sold me off again. To Hydra. I was subject 1843.” Loki internally gasped instantly, that was them? When the team had last broken into a Hydra base, he remembered reading something about them.

Subject 1843

Reported missing for 9 months.

Uses; medical chemicals for the next generation of super soldiers

Experimental aid

Stress relief

Loki was brimming with anger now. Everyone on the team backhanded them as a spoilt kid who didn’t like people, they all brushed them off ignoring them most of the time as most hand given up even trying to reach out to them. The only ones who still bothered were Cap and Spider ling, and even then, the interactions were slim to none, asking how their day was, that was about it. They kept to themselves otherwise. Loki remembered Bucky being mad because they spoke up about their past being bad and Bucky instantly being mad that they didn’t know what true pain was like. Yet there they were taking every punch and all that pain, emotional and physical from the team, people who are supposed to care about them and they said nothing.

“I was used as a test subject of sorts, chemicals were tested on me first, if I had a reaction, they didn’t use them. Simple as. I was used in experiments, my body was simply theirs to play around with, that explains the butterfly thing. One chemical reacted with him body and now I can create butterflies, somehow. I don’t mind the butterflies are rather calming. Anyway, when I turned 19, I found a way to escape and never looked back. Now I’m here, in bed having panic attacks and refusing help from actual people” you chuckled to yourself without humour “I’m so messed up inside, it doesn’t feel appropriate to reach out to them now, I’ve been so cruel.” Without thinking Loki shakes his head, then both of you freeze. You look down at him curiously. “You understand me?” Loki decided it better if you know and nods his head. “huh, cool,” you said smiling down at him. “ok then, who do you suggest I spoke to, who do you think I should trust?” Loki looks at them ridiculously for a second. They didn’t get he wasn’t a snake? Either way Loki decided to make his way to his own room as you followed behind him, your feet making a gentle pitter patter on the floor.

When they both arrive at his room Loki quickly dodges in before them and changes back sitting on the bed and reading. When you walk in, he looks up at you, trying not to show he already knew why you were there. You stand there for a second looking around the room, clearly searching for the snake, your hands massaging each other nervously. “I have some stuff I want to tell someone, will you let me talk?”

-------------------------------------------------------time skip------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat with your head in his lap, after so much crying that night you had exhausted yourself, you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, but he carefully moved so you were more comfortable. Though it wasn’t much he felt, almost at peace. He noticed you had told snake Loki a lot more than him, but the fact you had even spoken up, to him of all people, filled himself with pride, you trusted your instincts and the snake to speak up finally, and relieve yourself of the burden you had carried for so long. Though now he felt it was only his place to explain to the team. Before you had fallen asleep, he had asked you about it. You explained how you wanted to tell them but couldn’t work up the courage. He asked if you wanted him to do it and he agreed, before you passed out on him. He picked you up, placing you under the covers and called out to Friday. “assemble the team in the kitchen, this is important”

When Loki arrived at the kitchen everyone was there, expect for you. “right let’s get this started,” he said, clapping his hands together. “we have a lot to get through” Thor looked at him with confusion “what is this about?”

“all in due time brother”

“what about Y/N we can’t start without them” Cap said looking as confused as the rest of them.

“Let me explain first talk later, I need you full attention” and with that Loki told them everything you told human him. The team were just as shocked as him by the end of the story. Tony, and Bucky looked the most shocked, knowing full well how often they spoke down to them about them not understanding true pain. Cap and Natasha looked appalled both questioning their morals. The whole group sat in silence for a full five minutes, taking in the information. Being disgusted in themselves for their behaviour, not noticing sooner, not recognizing. If only they did more.

“standing here feeling bad isn’t going to do anything about it,” Clint said. “we’re heroes. We save people, and now its our turn to save a friend. So, stop feeling bad for yourselves, you can’t change the past. Come one, let’s go help them” Clint’s speech seemed to take them out their slump, their eyes regaining their life again and a of justice settling into all of them. Its time to do what they did best. Save other.

Over the course of the next 6 months the whole team was kinder, sure you still pushed them away to begin with, but it was better. Some night Loki still came back to your room as a snake, to calm you from panic attacks, and help you sleep. You and human Loki got closer too, you both ended up liking each other a lot, both finding refuge in each other. When Loki confessed to you, you felt free, like the shackles holding you back were breaking apart, your wings were expanding and you were taking flight, away from the suffering, away from the pain, towards freedom, towards love, towards peace. And when you both kissed for the first time you knew you were truly free.

[thirsthourdemon]

Headcanon when you call them by their cute little nickname in front of their team

Includes: Aone and Kyoutani

Tags: fluff, headcanons,

Aone || Nobu

-Here’s the thing you guys are so discreet and soft that it just looks like friends stuff.

-Dont get me wrong the team loves that the giant finally has someone to accompany him in the train,this was a big issue for a certain time, and they’re just so happy that he was friends outside of them considering how most people get frightened of him.

-Okay so everyone had assumed that you guys were just friends because you guys weren’t too touchy or lovey dovey at all!

-Babies were still shy, okay?! Nways

-You started dating a few months already too! Like 3 months or so but you still both agreed that it was too early

-Behind closed doors however both of you were two adorable little idiots. Wanna ask me why?!

-Mind reading! You both shared the brain cells and though you only contributed 2 brain cells it was enough for you and him to read each other’s minds

-One time on the train you were looking at something on your phone with him and he didn’t even speak! He just...😐

-Though he was like that for some reason everyone in the train heard your giggling! Like you were laughing so damn hard but he...I-

-The people in the train were now very concerned and very scared

-You guys would also be the type to just in general do stuff your way

-tAkiNg tHinGs slOw 😤🌸 As thEy sAy hEreE

-He warmed up to you by calling you by your first name, okay?! 🥺 It was...UNDENIABLY ADORABLE WHEN HE CALLED YOUR FIRST NAME BECAUSE YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D HEAR HIM SAY IT WITH HIS DEEP, BARELY PRESENT, VOICE!

-It wasn’t uncommon to have cute nicknames too! You even started calling him “Nobu” when you guys cuddle or when you feel particularly affectionate that day

-That day was this day

-Your boyfriend hehehehe bOyFrieNd HEHEHEHEHE was getting ready for practice that day and you thought of surprising him

-You waited inside the gym for him and soon enough the door slid open to reveal him

-“Nobu-kun~”

-“Yes, (First name/nickname)?”

-“I made you snacks in case you got hungwy, Nobu-kun~ OwO” you babytalked him forgetting one small detail

-He left the door open

-Everyone in the team was well...shocked

-It may not have seen like a big deal but AONE TALKED?! And HE USED SOMEONE’S NICKNAME OR FIRST NAME?! AND HE WAS CALLED NOBU?!!!!

-Ya’ll got the whole team, as the youngsters say, Shooketh

-He was pretty much teased the whole time after that and those who did dare, futakuchi specifically and kogane kept on calling him “Nobu”

-Though he didnt really mind being called that

-It reminded him of you when you called him nobu. Any memory or thought of you was a memory/thought getting lost in for him too

Kyoutani || Puppy

-Let’s get this straight...You and kyoutani never looked like you would be friends considering how different you were

-Well at least how you looked

-Kyoutani looked intimidating and mad all the time! Though he was like that it was only due to his lack of social skills that he ends up acting like that. He does the tough guy persona well too

-You on the otherhand were a graceful little ohime-sama (Princess character) Truth be told though...you were the only one who could put kyoutani in his place with just a few words. You were his best friend since you both came out of your mother’s wombs. 😌🌸

-Just imagine the look on everyone’s face when you finally enroll to seijoh and you hung out with your best friend. Shooketh, as the hip kids say.

-Everyone would practically blink a few more times just to finally accept the fact that you were talking to kyoutani kentarou side by side and you were enjoying the conversation.

-On rare occasions you would wait for his ass, he’s walking towards the gym for practice too since your houses were so close you figured you’d just walk home together also food.

-“Oi, wanna go to my weird uncle’s ramen shop after practice?” He invites

-“Sure! Are you paying?”

-“HA?! I ALWAYS PAY! Boke!”

-Everyone is now scared because he just shouted at the sweetest girl in school and they’re afraid you’d cry

-Everyone’s minds right then and there...

FUC FUCK FUCK SHE MIGHT CRY! Kyoutani is so mean to her! WHAT THE FUCK-

-What they didnt expect was you flicking the very angry boy’s forehead and laughing

-“Hai Hai~ I’ll pay then HAHAHAHAHA”

-You walk into the gym as he goes and gets changed for practice too

-The whole time there everyone was confused why you were there and why you were talking to him and not oikawa cause like- Why else would a girl be there?

-“5 more minutes! Promise!” He tells growls at you and though he wasnt shouting everyone thought he was mad already

-You yawn and after 20 MINUTES You finally feel your stomach growl as well so you got up and walked over to them

-Everyone who stayed behind for individual practice stopped as soon as you walked into the court as well

-“Kyouken huh? Mad dog? Puppy suits you better” You mumble under your breath until you’re infront of the very sweaty man

-Staring contest too

-The tension was high and everyone, oikawa, was anticipating the next few scenes of this very interesting dynamic

-“Mad dog, huh? Cmon, puppy~ You fucking said 5 minutes~ Now unless you want me to go home and tell your mom where you keep your secret porn stash and those CDs you have taped under your desk you’re going to get ready to leave, you tsundere piece of shit~” You say all this in the sweetest tone of your voice

-My man has never been more irritated yet so afraid of someone other than his mother

-You knew how scary that woman was as well so you just watched him get ready and leave

-Back at the gym though everyone was in utter state of shock

-“Shittykawa, do you know who that was?” Iwaizumi asked the setter who was gulping down on his bottle

-“Isnt she the one who got third place in the exam ranks?” Makki informed

-Everyone is now questioning mostly everything about who you were and what had just happened

Im bad at this Im sorry hahahaha I just like doing this stuff I guess though once I start to get into more characters I’ll do the other underrated characters. Like suna, ojiro, chikara, makki or goshiki HAHAHAHAHAHA I’ll just tag those who I discussed this with

@janellion @anianimol @my-mass-hysteria ???