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plutolovesyou · 2 months

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10:15 Saturday Night

READ THIS FIRST! 🇵🇸

☆: this one-shot is based on this little imagine/idea thing y'all really liked! ellie coming into your bedroom after throwing rocks at your window, that famed rom-com trope. i love making titles from songs so here’s this one. linking it because i despise the way the audio embed thing looks, that shit’s so ugly- have nothing else to say except this was meant to be only fluffy, but i got a little carried away at the end (and sub!ellie turns me into a rabid raccoon so) 😇 smut is embarrassing af to write i better get over that lmao but anyway, hope you enjoy!

♧: 5k word count

◇: SMUT!! porn w/ plot, but it's sweet. lotsa fluff too, modern au, established relationship, reader feels gloomy in the beginning, mentions of unspecified argument, dorky ellie saves the day, mentions of being irritated at family, mututal teasing back n forth, ellie’s lowk annoying LMAO. kinda mean reader (but in a hot way), lazy/rushed intro bc i’m impatient. cuddling → starts out as top!ellie but oops! a dash of nipple play, a little fighting for dominance ending in sub!ellie & dom!reader, fingering (e! and r! receiving), oral (e! receiving), risky sex. she's a whimperer folks- lawd i needa ruin her….this is very self indulgent, in case you couldn’t tell. lmk if i forgot anything!)

Waiting for the telephone to ring, and I’m wondering where she's been. And I'm crying for yesterday, and the tap drips. Drip, drip, drip, drip….

Robert Smith’s vocals rang through the room as you spun around in your chair, round and round and round until you got dizzy, your brain being jostled around in your skull as if you were on a rollercoaster. Gaming chairs, powerful things they were. You were lost in thought, pondering the state of the world and your life, because you had nothing better to do other than wallow in your miseries.

Everything was going downhill, or that’s certainly what it felt like currently. You hated every single one of your responsibilities and life was generally not being kind to you. But most of all, you hated disagreeing with your girlfriend. Ellie could get a little feisty when things didn't go exactly her way, and you loved that fighter quality about her, but maybe not when it was used in your disagreements with her. This particular day her spunky attitude was getting on your nerves, and both of you had gotten a little irritated with each other.

You knew that neither one of you meant anything you said in the heat of the moment, you just had occasional squabbles like everyone else. However this time, today’s words hit you a little harder. Not to mention it was spring break and so for the time being you’d gone back home to spend time with your family. Ellie had done the same. You were very grateful the two of you grew up close to each other, only started your relationship years after initially meeting. You enjoyed reminiscing about the budding moments, adored looking back on the good ole days.

The source of today’s irritation could have been a myriad of things. Maybe you’d had another little fight with your family members, had a lot of assignments due after the break was over, and the weather was generally horribly ugly. Gray, cloudy skies, pouring rain, wind and chilly temperatures, everything was just going swimmingly. When all of that added up it was only natural for people to be a little on edge, and briefly forget the good moments life had to offer, wasn't it?

Picking up your phone, you stared at the sent message to Ellie, just a plain text asking what she’s up to. Even in moments of disagreements where you needed space to get yourself back on track, you would send her little messages as a way to show her, and reassure yourself, that it was only temporary and the two of you would talk it out amazingly and come out even stronger on the other side.

But now you’ve been left on delivered for hours, was she really that busy? Knowing her, it was likely. Her and Joel were probably out fishing or hiking or doing some other fun outdoorsy activity, while you were just left to rot within the confines of your childhood bedroom. Had she not ticked you off earlier you would have asked to come with. Waiting on an answer from her of any kind would only serve to frustrate you even more, so you put your phone away and collapsed into your warm, inviting bed, despite it being way too early to go to sleep. But you didn’t feel like doing much of anything else, so a little shut-eye wouldn’t hurt.

Within moments you were out like a light. Blissfully relaxing in dreamland, where you were frolicking amongst colorful flower fields and riding on the back of a unicorn into the sunset, dancing with fairies and twirling to your heart's content. Your family dog’s deafening barking was drowned out by you playing the harp with elves and floating endlessly into an abyss of turquoise waters. You were so deep in this wonderful dream, it was healing you in all the right ways you needed right now. Restoring every ounce of energy you lost, fighting against your inner saboteurs so efficiently. You’d simply stay there forever if you could. Until-

Plink, plink, plink. A small, repetitive sound persisted through your slumber, eventually waking you up. Startling awake and switching on your lamp, you stepped out of bed with a groan, stumbling over your steps and rubbing your eyes to get to the window to see what in the world could possibly be happening.

It was raining heavily, and seemed to be hours after you had initially fallen asleep. You squinted through the raindrops coating the pane of glass and down into your yard as an attempt to scout out the noise. Looking down through the blur, you were met with your loving, apologetic girlfriend, her form scurrying around your yard in the dark of night, scavenging your yard for something. Were those pebbles she was throwing at your window? How cliche.

It appeared as if she had found some, standing upright and rearing her arm back in preparation to fling it at the glass, until she saw you and waved. You didn't open the window just yet, and signaled to tell her to scram. What was she doing here at this hour, in this weather? You flapped your arms frantically in every direction, out towards every axis, resulting only in her pouting and shaking her head. You weren't going to get rid of her that easily.

Twisting and turning the knob to open the window with a creak, you lean outside in the drizzle and stage whisper down at her. “Ellie? It's like, I don't even know the time, but it's late. What the fuck are you doing?” The phrases thrown at each other during your earlier squabble flickered through your mind again, but you pushed them aside because the sight of your love always made your heart melt. And she was clearly up to something, so you were going to see it through to the end.

She shouts up at you, “Hey, I wanna say I'm sorry for earlier. I wanna make it up to you so-” She cuts herself off by bending into a kneel, setting down her bag on the wet grass and rummaging through it, pulling out her navy blue ukulele and clearing her throat. You feel yourself blush from the actions, might be from second hand embarrassment, might be because you're touched by the gesture. She begins.

“So, uh, I tried getting my guitar but it was too big to carry all the way here and I don't want it to get wet so, this'll do.” She strums it, gently swaying from side to side, and sings a scuffed rendition of A-ha's Take on Me, her voice shaking slightly and the cheap instrument being significantly out of tune. The rain and distant thunder was drowning her out, but watching patiently was more than fine. You stay at your window, listening to her serenade until the last few lyrics.

Not even realizing it, but once she finishes the performance, your heart is warmed and you're beaming at her. You truly loved her so much, and as much as you wished to, couldn't stay mad at her for any longer. And regardless, standing out in the rain getting soaked to the bone like that was her punishment, in a sense. The moonlight is dancing on her face in a way that makes her eyes twinkle as if they were plucked straight from the cosmos, and she's grinning widely at you. Enchanting as ever.

“Did it work? I love you!” She blows you a kiss, wipes her slicked down hair from her face and shudders violently. “It's really cold down here, can I come up? Please lemme in.” The slight nasally tone in her voice could make you do anything for her, damn, this girl didnt even know how much of a hold she had on you sometimes.

“Fine. Just one sec.” You closed the window on her to take a quick, silent stroll through the halls of your house to make sure every one of your family members was situated in their respective rooms, and unlikely to be disturbed by any ruckus. By the time you made your way back to your own room, Ellie had already perched herself in the big oak tree next to your house. She was crouched at the top of it, gripping onto a branch and peering inside your room, calmly waiting for you to return and so you could give her the “okay” to come in.

She startled you momentarily, looking like a bit of a creep staring into your house like that, but you laughed it off and opened the window fully for her. “Okay, here goes.” Ellie mumbles under her breath and inches forward closer to the edge of your roof. It wasn't a big gap, but there was a sure possibility of injury and it was a risk you didn't want her to take, but Ellie being Ellie, she was going to be reckless and do it anyway.

What if her foot slipped on the wet shingles and she went splat on the ground? Or broke every bone in her body with a crunch…? That wouldn't be pretty. Your stomach flipped with nerves and you grimaced, turning away. “Please don't die.” She didn't respond and instead only focused on completing the jump to your roof with a “hmf”. One step was done, you breathed a sigh of relief and opened one eye.

She was slowly making her way there with both arms outstretched, and as she had almost completed the journey, she tripped. You screeched quietly and turned away again, that was definitely helpful, but bracing yourself for the worst inevitably proved unnecessary when you heard her familiar raspy giggle. She caught herself just in time and was at the windowsill now, appearing winded from the effort and adrenaline.

“Heh, told you I'd be fine.” “Ellie don't scare me like that, just hurry up.” You helped her crawl inside your candle lit room by the arm, and once she was inside only then did you notice how drenched she was from the rain. Just sopping wet, dripping water all over your, thankfully, hardwood floors. The severity of the conditions outside only became even more apparent to you now, poor girl was about to turn into an icicle. It would be mean of you to leave her like this and let her catch a cold, she hasn’t wronged you quite that much. But a part of you was feeling a little playful, a little mischievous perhaps.

“Don't move, I'll find you something warm.” Before you can disappear inside your closet to find her some dry clothes she attacks you in a clumsy embrace, resulting in you being soaked now too. You try to pry her away and feel goosebumps come on as her cold lips connect with your neck, moist smacks as she smooches you all over.

“Let go, Els, c'mon you're gonna get me all wet too.” You lament to her, then regret your choice of words instantly as she pulls away to look at you, wiggle her eyebrows and smirk, to which she comments. “Damn right I am, that's m'goal.”

Whenever she pulls dirty jokes on you your immediate instinct is to burst into laughter, but you clap your hand over your mouth and hiss back at her. “Shhhh we gotta be really quiet, everyone's asleep. I don't feel like getting a talking-to at breakfast in the morning, y'know because ‘their house, their rules’.” You whisper the explanation to her as you roll your eyes and mock your family's words, adding air quotes as well.

Ellie gives you double thumbs up in response, solemnly swearing to not produce a peep. After rummaging through your drawers, you find a warm pajama set which matches yours and make her put it on while you sneak around to grab her a towel to dry off with too.

Moments later the two of you are cuddled up in your bed together, entangled in each other's arms, enjoying the quiet company. Just listening to the other’s steady intakes and exhales of oxygen, warm hands caressing over clothes stroking each other's hair, wanting to absorb into the other and assimilate into one being. What a shame that wasn't possible, you thought.

There wasn't too much of a need to discuss the disagreement in depth, because of the mutual understanding it wasn't anything serious, and ultimately the product of annoying circumstances, which was definitely a huge relief. Shit happens, and you were as glad ever to be entangled in her arms again, although it was worth mentioning in short anyway. You break the silence by whispering into her ear.

“You didn't have to come here Els.” You hear her let out a throaty chuckle, then squeeze your waist tighter. “I felt bad, I know you've been kinda under the weather recently. And wanna say sorry for being annoying earlier.” She murmured into the side of your neck, sending tingles on a path spreading throughout your whole body.

While the the two of you were cuddling in your room keeping conversation faint as can be, she had absent-mindedly began to roam her hands around your body, from the sides of your ribcage, to clutching your waist, to settling on your hips to play with the waistband of your fleece pajama pants. She was placing feather-light kisses on your neck simultaneously, and you found it hard to believe she didn't know what she was doing, but it was definitely working on you, and you frankly found it funny. She really did have a habit of being handsy. Your logical side was screaming how bad of an idea this was, but your horny side…

It was like the angel and devil sitting atop your shoulders, debating the pros and cons. You wondered who was going to win.

Teasingly whispering back to her, “Els, what do you think you’re doing?” Even through her hushed tone, you could hear the smirk dancing upon her pretty pink lips. “Nothin’ much, just feelin’ up my girl.” She finishes the statement with a firm squeeze to your boobs. Subtle. And just like that, the little devil was winning, you could hear their maniacal cackles metaphorically in your mind.

“Ellie, my fuckin’ parents are asleep in the next room over, do you know how thin these stupid walls are?” “So?” “So??? Do you want me to die knowing they were woken up by their adult, straight-A, accomplished, child sneaking in her girlfriend in the middle of the night, like we’re teenage hooligans in a movie or something?”

You'd put Pinocchio to shame by lying like this, knowing full well having her cuddled up close to you, feeling her strong hands sensually explore every curve and valley on your body, and her wearing some of your favorite pajamas was slowly but surely getting you all worked up. All that in tandem with the risk factor was turning you on much more than you'd care to admit. Unpack that another day. Your face was burning and your heart rate was increasing whether you liked it or not, and your girlfriend was right there…a little messing around wasn't going to hurt anyone, was it?

Hesitantly giving in, you turn around in bed to face her and wordlessly press a kiss to her lips, shoving down the lingering embarrassment. It surprises her and she doesn't kiss you back right away, instead laughs in your face and cracks more stupid dad jokes, only making you roll your eyes and punch her in the arm. She snickers, “Ha, not so good after all, are ya?”

When you don't throw a snarky remark back at her she takes your face in her bracelet-clad hand, thumb gliding across your bottom lip smoothly. The dim light in your room casts shadows on her face that make her look mystical, and hot as hell. “Wanna make you feel good.” She murmurs, mostly to herself, while scanning your features shamelessly.

You abruptly sit up and she follows, watching you quizzically. You look her up and down a few more times, just for the sake of it, before roughly yanking her towards you by the shirt and slamming your lips onto hers. She responds properly this time, slipping her tongue into your mouth with ease just how you like it, her grabby hands running all over your body, not knowing where to settle.

The kiss is hot and greedy, pure need coursing through your veins. You'd only been apart for a week at most, and it was definitely a week too long. Your own hands find their way up to her auburnette locks as you grab a fistful and pull, coaxing a scarcely audible groan rumble from her throat. You nip and bite down on her neck, stopping when you get to her pulse point where you could feel just how hard her heart was racing, reveling in the tiny pants leaving her lips as she tried so hard to stay as quiet as possible per your request, screwing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth.

She pulls you back up to meet her in a sloppy kiss, maneuvering the two of you so she was on top of you and you were on your back, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs as she places herself between your legs. Her fingers playing with your nipple while the front of her pelvis rammed against your heat was making you desperate for more of her, and quickly.

Her hands slid under your shirt and caressed your skin all over your entire torso, then you stopped her to take your shirt off and throw it to a corner of your room. Ellie wasted no time to place her mouth on your chest, peppering sweet kisses wherever her lips could reach, licking and sucking on your nipples until they hardened, pausing to stare up at you when the sensation made you squirm into her and sigh. “So much for being quiet, huh?” She taunts oh so smugly, thinking she's got to you.

But her voice fluctuates in pitch as her mind becomes more clouded with arousal, resulting in you getting wetter and wetter. She was going to kill you. Bucking your hips into her in pursuit of some friction, she takes the hint and briskly undoes the bow on your pj pants, and slides her hand in. Her fingers land on the wet spot soaking through your underwear and she prods at it, just to annoy you further.

She really was being purposely insufferable today. You jeer at her, “can you just-” She shuts you up by kissing you again, messily and open-mouthed, swallowing every little sound you made. You pull her closer against you by the waist, and she whimpers. That turned you on even more, if that was even possible, your whole being thrumming with lust, new ideas materializing in your mind. What if you got back at her for being annoying, and in the best way?

The risk factor of having to stay impossibly quiet only added more fuel to the fire, and now you wanted to challenge it as much as you could. You snake your hand down her body and palm her pussy over her clothes and you swore you could feel her clench as soon as you made contact.

She lowers her head to your shoulder and her hand in your pants stops moving, you've officially broken this girl with one lazy touch. “Hmm?” You hum, feigning foolishness as if nothing was deliberate. “Seems you're the needy one here, Els.” Cooing at her in a low voice, her uneven breathing fills your ear. The way she'd planted herself on top of you made the task difficult but not impossible, and you shimmied your hand to her boxers, feeling up the wet spot that was surely triple the size of yours. Not cracking jokes now, is she?

And voila, you knew what your next moves were going to be. Your only goal was to have some fun with her now, just because you could. You began to rub your fingers up and down her slit, the thin fabric catching her clit perfectly making her breath hitch as she tries to suppress whines. “Hey, that's not…fair.” Ellie attempts to regain composure over herself and talks back through gasps, but you don't cease what you're doing. Breaking her was too good.

She fights back by copying your motions, her shaky hand rubbing your pussy at a messy rhythm, up and down, side to side, really not accomplishing much because eventually you win, and she removes her hand from you and presses her body against yours, clutching your waist for dear life and shoving her head in the crook of your neck to stabilize herself.

Her whimpers and tiny moans were music to your ears, egging you on to do more. Moving the fabric aside, you slide a finger inside her needy, drenched hole, slick dripping down your knuckles as you find her spongy spot and curl your fingers against it. She hisses on top of you, clearly you were doing something right.

Inserting another one, you could feel her walls clench and gush around your digits, as you ruthlessly pressed against her g-spot, the heel of your palm bumping against her sensitive clit, eliciting harsher whines from her, muffled by your shoulder.

After a short few moments, you could tell she was about to cum by the way her pussy walls fluttered, and whimpers increased in desperation, sugary, dulcet “ah- haah"s escaping from her lips.

“Gettin close, Els?” Your voice was supple as honey, you were enjoying this too much. She gulps and nods her head, “yeah..hn..please.”

Not so fast. “Hm, okay.” Replying in a cheery tone, as cheery as you can be while whispering that is, you stop all you're doing and tap her on the back. She puffs and sniffles, her voice small and trembling. “What'd you do that for?”

She was too cute like this, you chuckled at her pathetic attempts to rut against you to get that release, and grunt in annoyance.

“Patience.” “Whatever.” She grumbled. “Lay down.” You order her gently, and stroke her hair. Of course she obeys, she needed this too much.

With shaky arms Ellie lifts herself off of you, pouting down at you then plopping herself down beside you in the bed.

Switching places, you stare down at her fondly, wanting to make her feel good properly now. She deserved it after all that. You bend to kiss her forehead, which makes her blush go from rosy to crimson to maroon, her freckles blending in with her cheeks, and she bites her bottom lip while avoiding your gaze. Her expression was simply adorable, all flushed and fucked out already, all for you.

You grope at her chest, making her whine and scrunch her face up. “Need you, please.” She asks, so nicely, her normally confident voice breaking. Of course you'll give her what she wants.

You decide she's waited plenty enough, and tug her boxers and pajama bottoms off in one swift motion, discard them in the same corner of your room your shirt is currently residing, and get to work.

Wasting not a second more, you rapidly shove your face in her pussy, latching onto her clit and sucking with fervor. Taking her in your mouth, grazing with the tips of your teeth ever so gently. She squirms beneath you, her knuckles turning white from how hard she's gripping the sheets on either side of her.

Losing yourself in her, nipping and sucking and licking to your heart's content, humming at her taste and purring praises into her, “pretty, pretty pussy” the vibrations from your low voice reverberating through her only making everything more intense. One particularly forceful knock of the tip of your nose to her clit makes her squeal and close her thighs around your head, unfortunately that was much louder than preferable.

Both of you freeze, chests heaving up and down, staring dazed and wide-eyed at the other, and listen through the walls to see if it caused any disturbance, and you shoot a glare at her once confirming it was unnoticed by anyone in your otherwise silent house. Not a rustle was heard, thank goodness. You exhale through a whistle, then warn through your teeth, “One more sound and I'm pushing you right out that window, got it?”

It came out meaner than you'd meant it to, but she accepts and nods meekly, responding in a wobbly voice, “M'sorry, can't help it.” You relax and press kisses on the soft flesh of her inner thighs, before resuming just as before.

You continue devouring her, her toned abs flexing and caving in beautifully, the light slurping and squelching sounds filling the room, all while holding her hips in place, fingers pressing into the shape of her muscles while she arches her back above you and her fist flies to grab onto your hair, with deathly strength. A symphony of choked “guh- uh” left her throat while you lapped up her slippery fluids, sensing her body twitch as her orgasm began to build. She didn't even have to tell you, you knew her body like you knew your own at this point.

Curling your fingers in her once more, tongue never halting its circles around her pulsing bud and a final thrust to her g-spot was enough to push her off the edge, finally.

The rush ripples through her as her whole body seizes and tenses up, she's creaming around your hard-at-work fingers, and you help her ride out the high by licking gently and weakening the pressure until she pushes your head away because it was getting too much. All that with no sound louder than a mere squeak and string of whispers resembling your name and a colorful array of profanities, she had bitten down on her hand so hard her canines had left dents, but otherwise looked so content and at peace. Gasps lessening and breathing steadying to the pace before, a faint smile on her pretty face, and her eyes lazily closed.

Seeing her all satisfied and happy in turn made you happy, and you cuddled on top of her, laying your head on her chest. Her heartbeat was going at such a fast and frantic pace, you loved hearing it slow back to normal.

Adjusting yourself made her wince, still so sensitive from all you did. “Sorry Els. Did so good.” You mumble and lean up to peck the side of her neck as she drapes her arms around your back and rubs in circles, calming the both of you.

She hums contentedly. “Love you.” “Love you too Els.”

You didn't even care about cleaning up or moving or anything of the sort, because being close to her was all that mattered. The last thing she said before falling asleep and kissing you on the top of the head was, “To the moon and back.” And you fell asleep immediately after her, feeling loved and comforted just like whenever you spent time with her, your girlfriend's ideas always turned out well after all.

Now as for the morning, that was a problem for future you to deal with. Were your parents going to barge in your room and throw her out, or was it going to be an awkward conversation? Who cares? Now it was only time to drift off to dreamland together, hand in hand.

And that you did. You disappeared from this reality and into an ethereal dream world just like earlier, only she was there with you. It was eternally euphoric, the two lovers delightfully singing duets with the fairies, skipping into the horizon and climbing up the arcs of glittery rainbows, it was more than you ever hoped for. As if there never was any disagreement to begin with, all issues were solved when you were together with her, your other half.

Now this dream you really wanted to stay in forever, but since that wasn't possible, you vowed to savor and appreciate it, and her, to the fullest.

lol someone sedate meeeeeee. idk how to end these. pikmin :3 IKKK THE ENDING IS RUSHED TOO AAAA whateva.

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inkskinned · 1 year

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okay yes it's often bad and hard and sometimes i am so anxious my whole body feels like it's vibrating but also at the same time the gps took me a different way on my drive and i got to see more of the river than i usually do and yesterday the sun was still above the horizon after 7pm and that was amazing and the whole sky turned an orange-gold like how they try to make ice cream taste; you know, one of those evenings that just tears you open no matter how jaded you get. it's warm for the first time here and people had lined up against the water just to stand outside and watch the sunset

and yeah it's tax season no i haven't done mine yet but when i mentioned it offhand in a single side-comment three days later my friend sent me a list of helpful tips and followed up to see if i'd need help on them

there's this parking lot for a walking trail near where i live and one of the two google reviews is my actual favorite: love it here. there were so many beautiful parking spots but sadly we could only take one. and no this person isn't going to go viral and probably the only people navigating to this spot are extremely local - but there's something so precious to me about someone taking the time to write something that will make strangers in their community laugh, even though there's no way for me to tell them good one! directly

yes i am not doing well sometimes i'm doing even very-badly but recently i have been given enough breathing room to say okay, this situation is bad, but then it will be over, and you will be moving onto the next thing and it's true that i need to get groceries and pay rent and argue with my health insurance but it is also true that in the absolute stress and anarchy of my life today someone recognized my dog before they recognized me and was so excited because "they tell everyone about the greyhound in the area and didn't get a picture before so can they take a picture now please"

in class we all stand in a circle and are all grown adults and for a moment while the teacher is figuring something out, we all hold hands, just to be silly and connected. for no reason at all at 8pm on a thursday my friends and i start breaking out the dance moves to high school musical. my coworker gchats me during a meeting about the book he recommended to me and i'm enjoying reading

i help a high school set up for a star-themed dance and while putting up streamers i find graffiti that says if you're reading this, i love you, and we're both going to get out of here right next to fuck everyone, live out of spite, don't let the fuckers make you die. on the bridge where i walk my dog someone has written i love you and on the sidewalk in chalk someone has written i love you and on the side of the water tower someone has written i love you

at the bottom of a text post an internet poet says - i love you, i love you, i love you. i've never met you, i love you because you exist and we exist together. and isnt that enough for now. just for this moment, i mean. like, if you just close your eyes and breathe - somewhere, across this world, i love you, because you're here with me.

#writeblr #pos #i am actually not doing well at all but the spring is bringing hope back at least lol

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tsukimefuku · 3 months

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The man who played with fire

After some drinks by yourself and getting frustrated with someone, you stupidly knock on Higuruma's door to test a theory.

To vibe: Misery - Maroon 5

Tags: +18 (!!!), WITH PLOT (there is always a plot), Jujutsu Kaisen, SMUT, f!reader, Higuruma x reader, some alcohol consumption, he's so in love, she's so clueless, reader is being kind of an asshole, oral sex, cunt-locking, penetration, light f!top x m!bottom dynamic, involves some love-triangle classic shenanigans.

WC: 3.4K

Hey, this is actually my first smut piece! Hope you guys enjoy my filth. This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU", a sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a Nanami x f!reader x Higuruma fanfic I'll eventually write (eventually). This is preceded specially by "Kindness and Sunflowers", link here. To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :)

Disclaimer: they’re NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.

Fair warning: I like writing characters being humanely assholes and clueless idiots. Be warned.

"I can't believe this," you muttered to yourself. You were drinking alone at the bar, and the darkness served to hide your blushed-by-fury face. After what you called The Event, Nanami asked to talk, only to end up lecturing you about the shortcomings of a jujutsu sorcerer's life. As if you didn't know, given all the losses you had experienced over the years, precisely due to Tengen's established Jujutsu Society. "He can't be serious, lecturing me about this shit." Still talking to yourself, like a crazy person, you tried to let your anger go down with five cold pints of beer. It was definitely not working.

Your phone rang, and Nanami's name lit up on your screen, much to your annoyance. You immediately refused the call and flipped the phone down on the table, feeling all your rage bubbling up from the darkest depths of hell. You needed a release, any kind of release — an exorcism, most likely.

Or, you could try something else.

Peering around the bar, you started looking for someone that you could consider even remotely interesting — but no one, nothing, nada. Given this was a Tuesday night, there were only you and some monotonous people scattered around the murky lighting, encompassed by the noise of a few clicking glasses.

That was when your phone started to rumble to the sound of some text messages, and you grabbed it ready to pitch the phone across the vicinity, believing it was Nanami again. But, much to your surprise, it was actually Higuruma texting you. You were so angry that you had completely forgotten to talk to him today.

He was basically asking how you were, given that you hadn't texted back since yesterday, and you were both chatting on a daily basis for weeks by this point.

That was when you had a greatly horrible (or horribly great?) idea. After all, how could a decision made under the influence, at night, while angry at someone you knew you had feelings for, be bad? This is fine.

"Are you busy right now?" You sent him, feeling the beer breeze warmly through your nostrils every time you exhaled. You have a crush on him, but that's it, this is fine. And oh, you did. Ever since you dropped him off in his apartment the night he was freed from Jujutsu High's headquarters, you knew that there was definitely something stirring up — at least from your end. Higuruma was drunk, he didn't make a move, and could just have been kind of clingy, to be honest, so you decided to let it go for the time being. Every time you got a little too excited to meet or talk to him recently, you reminded yourself very sternly you weren't a schoolgirl.

But you wouldn't let it go today, because today, you really wanted to know.

"Nothing, really. I just got home." Higuruma promptly answered.

"Can I come over?" You texted back, and locked your screen right after, instantly anxious and eager at the same time. What the fuck is wrong with me? What am I thinking? What am I doing? This can't be a good ide-

"Of course, I'd be delighted." He replied. "And then you could actually see the sunflower is doing very well, in spite of me."

You left the money on the counter and ran off, shushing your thoughts out loud.

***

This was a terrible idea, but I think I can just hang out for an hour, make small talk and then leave, you started to negotiate mentally with yourself right after the three knocks on the door gave some sanity back to your brain.

However, after Higuruma opened the door and cocked his head to lean it against the door frame, you knew you were completely doomed. He had the top of his white shirt unbuttoned, his tie was hanging loosely around his neck, and his sleeves were rolled up enough for you to see his beautifully defined forearms. His hair had the perfect messy-I-just-got-home look to it, and you instantly wanted to drive your hands through his pitch black locks.

Oh shit, you thought to yourself, feeling something stir up in your body — and it surely wasn't anger.

It must have been a moment, because he started to look a little puzzled. "Hey, come in." Higuruma said, as if he was repeating himself. Did you not hear him the first time he invited you in?

"Of course. Thank you." You replied, looking down and hushing yourself inside his apartment. You could feel your face burning, and imagined how much of an idiot you were being right now for ever believing this could go anything but wrong.

"Are you okay? You seem out of sorts." He pointed out, closing the door behind him. "Can I get you anything? I got some beer from the convenience store, and there might be water somewhere in the kitchen."

"I'm fine, I just ran here to get some cardio." You clumsily replied, sitting on the couch. "I came from the bar, actually. Already drank some beers. No need."

Higuruma huffed out a soft chuckle, still a little confused, but now intent on prying. "You're not helping your case. You mean to say that you, a jujutsu sorcerer that exercises heavily, decided to get some cardio done while walking under the influence, from a bar, at night, to meet me?"

"Yes. That's what I meant. Quit prying." You responded, not knowing what the hell else you could say. Tell him that you came rushing just so you wouldn't have the time for second guessing on having s- no, you wouldn't do that.

"Hm." He hummed to himself, grabbing a can and sitting beside you, bouncing the sofa slightly. "I mean, I'm always happy to have you come over, but the only time you came here was to bring me drunk from a bender. And to get me flowers."

"Get you a sunflower, because yours had died." You corrected.

"Precisely, a sunflower." Higuruma replied, taking a sip from his beer. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just wanted to see you." You said, earnestly. And deep down, it was true, if only half of it.

Higuruma immediately seemed content, even if he only had a small smile to show for it on his face. "Oh."

You were both silent for a moment.

"I never got to repay you for your kindness that day." He said, out of the blue, taking you by surprise.

"It was nothing." You said, shrugging. "I just got you home and gave you a flower."

"Oh, if I remember correctly…" He began.

"Do you remember anything?" You asked, mockingly.

He looked at you, slightly grinning, and continued. "You had to blow up my lock to bust us in. In some places, that would be considered a felony."

"You're saying I could get arrested for busting into a home while I'm with the man that lives there?"

"You also used explosives and damaged the door, let's not forget that." Higuruma said in a mix of playful and matter-of-factly.

"I couldn't ask, because you were completely wasted! Just getting your address was a pain in the ass."

He chuckled. "Was it?"

"Yes, it was." You replied, more relaxed, thanks to coming back to your old banter. This came for the both of you so naturally that you barely realized Higuruma had rested his arm on the sofa right behind you, leaning closer. "Higuruma, why did you drink so much that night?"

That question surprised him, as you could deduct from his eyes widening lightly. He put his beer can on the coffee table and ran his fingers through his hair, inhaling deeply. "I don't know. I guess-" he stuttered for a moment. "I guess I was just nervous to be out again, finally and properly going for a drink with..." his last word lingered on the air, as he unconsciously looked at your eyes, and then your lips, "with you all."

"Do you remember what you said when we got here?" You asked, shamelessly staring at his lips too.

"I believe I said, 'you are too kind'." Higuruma leaned over even further, and you felt his entire body go rigid for a second as you drifted closer to him, heat crawling all over your skin, putting your forehead to his. After some seconds, he rested the palm of his hand over your knee, and from how needy you felt for that man at that particular moment, even such a small thing was enough to make you trip over to the other side.

You immediately crushed your lips to his, putting your hands behind his head. You kissed him eagerly, letting out an extremely faint moan as you drove your fingers over his hair — he tasted like beer, his worn off cologne from the day was completely intoxicating, and you found yourself nearly lunging at the man like a starved animal. Realizing what just happened, you pulled back, starting to apologize, eyes wide and face completely flustered. "Higuruma, I'm so sor-"

Your apologies were cut short with his own lips now clashing into yours in a passionate kiss, as he pushed you under his weight to lay on the couch, his fingers interlocking in your hair strands from the back of your head. His hips effortlessly slid in between your legs as your hands made their way to brush his shoulders, and you let out another moan against his lips, this time much louder, thanks to the dry pressure of his now bulging pants against your clothed core. Higuruma groaned satisfied in response, tracing the outline of your mouth with the tip of his tongue. Your mind was becoming hazy, and he parted from your lips for a moment to gaze at your face. His eyes were locked on you, studying every feature and investigating for any sign of discomfort or second thoughts.

You caught up on that and made your way inside his slightly open mouth with your own tongue, intertwining it with his in between gasps and huffs. Now you separated just enough to breathlessly say, "Bed. Now."

You gasped against his mouth, before holding yourself throwing your arms behind his neck and locking your legs on his waist, grinding on him. He moaned loudly at this stimulation, before smiling sheepishly and putting both of his hands on the back of your thighs for support, knowing full well you meant for him to carry the both of you into the bedroom.

"Yes, ma'am." He replied, propping the both up and then lifting from the couch. Higuruma pressed open-mouthed kisses all around the nape of your neck, as he walked towards a dark room, parting his hands from you just to switch the light on. "I want to see you," he said, breathing heavily against your skin, as he threw you on the bed, climbing on top, one hand to each side of your head as he stared at you with a lustful look in his eyes. You instantly pulled his loosened tie to kiss him again, and he lost balance, basically falling with his body over yours. You whimpered at the feeling of having his now full-blown clothed erection grinding against your core, and involuntarily opened your legs to accommodate his hips over yours.

Higuruma started to take off his tie and shirt, and you followed suit, removing your top and bra. He basked on the sight of you, and cupped both of your breasts in his hands. His digits felt rough, and frictioned just the right amount against you, as he squeezed both of them, satisfied and reverent. His hands started traveling down your figure, contouring every curve, hill, and valley of your body, reaching the edge of your pants. "May I?" He asked, his face lightly blushed as he awaited your response. You nodded, and he promptly unzipped you, pulling your pants and panties down, the slight stimulation from the fabric sliding over your legs being enough to make you mewl with satisfaction. Every nerve in you was incandescent with absolute hunger for him.

You opened your legs, and he could see you were already completely wet from arousal. Letting out an audible satisfied moan, Higuruma began tracing your belly with his mouth, planting long kisses as he went down, leaving a trail of heat wherever his lips touched. As he got near your core, he kissed one last time one of your thighs, and sniffed on your folds. You smelled sinfully sweet, and he made no effort to hold back his eyes fluttering shut with pure bliss. "Could I, please?"

This was his prayer, the bed was his altar and he was determined to worship you.

Without a word, you simply grabbed the top of his hair and drove his mouth in between your legs, whimpering and mewling as his tongue started to rub against your clit. His chin would grind forward on your entrance whenever he changed the angle, and you involuntarily pushed yourself down when that happened. He noticed it, and slid his tongue inside you, eliciting a loud moan in response, with your walls clenching around it. He groaned back in appreciation, and his husky, low voice reverberated throughout your entire being. You arched your back, beginning to feel that familiar heat and fire pooling on your lower stomach.

"H-Higuruma... I-" You sighed, in between mewls and moans.

He immediately stopped and brought his face up to look at you. You let out a complaint sound, glaring at him to ask why he stopped.

"My dear, I'm literally with my face in between your legs, eating you out." He said, unfazed by your annoyance. "We're way past last names. Call me Hiromi."

Incredulous, you let out a mixture of a chuckle and a scoff, having the top inside of you wiggling its way out to the surface. You grabbed his hair strongly, and he cinched his eyebrows, cock twitching inside his pants, as the corner of his lips formed an open-mouthed smile. His eyes were softly resting on you, and he wouldn't mind if your naked, flushed body was the last thing he saw before he died.

"Shut up." You said, grinding your pussy against his mouth, and locking his head to your core with your legs tightly holding around him. Higuruma proceeded more eager than before, lapping at your clit relentlessly with his tongue, alternating with sucks that were having you seeing stars. He was absolutely pussy drunk with the heavenly taste of you and had, at this moment, relinquished any control, as he let you face fuck him chasing your release.

The heat came back again, and you closed your eyes, sinking the back of your head on a pillow. Waves were starting to form, and your orgasm hit you like the crashing water against the shore. You began to tremble and vibrate, coming hard in his mouth, and Higuruma feverishly drank you up, completely hypnotized with how amazing you tasted and felt, falling apart under his ministrations.

Letting you finish riding your high, licking gently on your overstimulated core, he waited until you were barely moving before removing his own pants and climbing his way back on top of you. As he got close enough to your face, you looked at him, completely flustered and debauched, resting the palm of your hand on his cheek. "Higuruma, I want you inside of me." His tongue, albeit magnificent, just wasn't enough, and you could feel the same anticipation and neediness coiling in your stomach again, as the tip of his cock rested on your entrance.

He looked at you and grunted, displeased. "Hiromi." Higuruma reached to the bedside table and pulled a condom. The movement had him rubbing his throbbing length, already leaking with pre-cum, right against you, forcing him to let out a strained groan.

You gasped at the sensation and chuckled at his annoyance right after, suddenly locking his hips in between your legs, rolling you both so that you would be on top of him. "We'll see, if you ask nicely." You replied, locking him in between your arms, hovering. Higuruma's eyes instantly softened, and his cheeks took a pinkish-red tint. "You're bossy." He said, turning his head towards your wrist and planting a chaste kiss on it, lingering with his lips for a moment on your skin. "I like it."

You smiled, more pleased than you'd like to admit it, because the both of you fit so well it was astonishing. You never thought it would be happening like this, and for a moment, it felt so right you wished you could be here forever. But nothing that good ever lasts long enough.

Grabbing the condom from him with one hand, you motioned the other to grab his neglected cock. As your fingers grasped around his length, Higuruma let out a satisfied and urgent moan, slowly arching himself under your touch. The sight of him completely pliable to your will had you fluttering, as you began to rub your hands up and down, pumping his girth to pleasure him. Higuruma plastered his palms over the plush of your thighs, and groaned your last name, holding out on some kind of desperation.

"'Way past last names', huh?" You scoffed, playfully, starting to slide the condom over his cock before he could hit you with any witty comeback. After, you positioned yourself above him, holding his length against your entrance, and started to slowly descend over it, feeling it thrust in you to the brim, stretching your walls as he bottomed out. You both let out a gasp, now connected, and you waited a moment to adapt and take all of him in.

"Come here." You said, pulling on his shoulder for him to sit up, so that you could feel and touch every inch of him. He obliged, and sat up, immediately driving his mouth to kiss your neck insistently, brushing the tip of his tongue on the edge of your jaw. Higuruma began to rock his hips, and you did the same, each in the opposite direction, so that his cock would slide in and out of your pussy easily.

You moaned against his scalp, and he held his hands to the small of your waist, leaning you backwards to suck on your breasts. The moment his mouth latched onto one breast, he rolled your other nipple between his fingers, eliciting loud moans and mewls from you. You had your head dangling back, as he began to thrust into you quicker and harder. He slid the hand previously on your waist to the back of your neck, and pulled you in for a kiss, taunting your mouth with his tongue. You opened it, and both your tongues intertwined, as he, now, chased his own release, panting and groaning into your lips. You weren't so far off, feeling the familiar coil tightening in your abdomen, yearning for release.

"Higu-"

"Hiromi, please. P-please... Please..." He implored and begged, kissing desperately your jawline. You lowered your gaze and met his eyes softer and more tender than you had ever seen, so urgently pleading for you to let him in, give him this inch of intimacy, and that was the moment you caved. You pressed your forehead against his, and started to cry out his name. "Hiromi... H-Hiromi..."

Letting out moans and groans in between the squelching from your juices, he pulled you impossibly close, eyes piercing and locked onto yours. This was the moment you felt more naked, bare and vulnerable the entire night, and the coil that had formed in your belly snapped, sending waves of pure pleasure from the tip of your head to your toes. Feeling your gummy walls clenching all around him, Higuruma also hit his orgasm intensely, thrusting into you fervently to ride off his high. He stopped slowly, ready to crumble underneath you at any moment.

"Hiromi-" You said, brushing your lips against his cheek, then under his ear. "Hiromi, Hiromi, Hi-ro-mi. Happy? Just for tonight, though."

Higuruma chuckled soulfully, realizing how much he absolutely loved the sound of his name on your tongue, purred through your whispered voice, reverberating on his flushed, sensitive skin. It made his body quiver and tremble with pure satisfaction.

It was right there, at that moment, with his heart fluttering while you leaned back to gaze at him, stroking his hair strands between your fingers with a gentle smile, that he realized just how fucked he actually was.

Sighing softly and smiling back, Higuruma pushed his lips against yours. He knew that by playing with fire, he was bound to get burned, eventually — and burned he was.

#jujutsu kaisen higuruma #higuruma x reader #jjk higuruma #jjk hiromi #hiromi x reader #higuruma hiromi #jjk imagines #jjk drabbles #jjk x you #higuruma smut #hiromi smut #jjk smut

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multiversalfandomwriter222 · 1 month

Note

Hi hii I'm the one who sent the az request! AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!! 🩷🩷

would you write reader saying something she doesn't mean and making az cry and then comforting him? (Established relationship btw so like they're already mated) basically the same thing but roles reversed 😭 I'm sorry I just love angst to fluff too much!! Thank you and have nice day/night bb <333

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, Azriel crying, slight mean Azriel.

At Least Tell Me

You slam the door as you go into your bedroom, everyone in the House flinching. Cassian walks into Rhysand's office, confusion all over his face. "What's wrong with Y/n?" He asks.

Rhys sighs heavily. "Azriel's on a mission, and he's coming back tonight." Cassian tilts his head. "Shouldn't she be happy?"

"Azriel didn't tell her that she left." Rhys sighs. Cassian's eyes widen. "How did she not-" "Azriel told her that he was going to visit his mother for a day and was going to return this morning. He has been gone three days, and Feyre darling told her yesterday that he was on a mission. Y/n has been slamming doors ever since." Rhys says, exasperated. Cassian shakes his head. "Y/n's temper rivals Nes, we may have to evacuate the house just because." Rhys snorts.

Time Skip-

Azriel lands on the balcony of the house, being greeted by his High Lady. "Y/n is pissed at you." Feyre says. Azriel's shoulders slump. "I know." "It's going to be bad." Feyre says. Azriel nods, and walks into the house, ready to face the wrath of his mate.

You knew Azriel was in the house. You overheard your older sister talking to him. But the rage bubbling inside was hard to keep a lid on it.

The door opens to reveal your mate, his wings drooped slightly. You turn to face your vanity, not bothering to make eye contact in the mirror with him. "I'm home." Azriel says.

"That's a first." You say coldly. Azriel sighs. "Y/n-"

"No don't you Y/n me! What the fuck Azriel?" You shout. Azriel flinches slightly, and the mask of the shadowsinger appears in that second. "I did what I had to do."

You laugh. "You did what you had to do." You laugh some more. "Did we hear that?" You yell, laughter erupting from you. Azriel rolls his eyes at you. "Azriel, you lied to me! Do you not see what's wrong with that? I was worried for you! I thought something happened to you!"

You come closer to him. "You don't need to worry about me." He says. "That was being reckless." You snap. Azriel lets out a cold, mocking laugh. "Now that's a joke. Miss Reckless, calling me reckless!" He scoffs. The shadows move about, flurrying in the range of emotions between the two of you.

You let out a yell of frustration. "See this is why I fucking hate you Azriel! By the gods, somedays I just want to fucking leave and never return!"

You cover your mouth, eyes widening. Azriel goes still, his shadows dropping. The house grows silent. You step back and Azriel rushes toward you. He kneels and clings to your legs. "A-Angel, I'm sorry. I'm so-" Huge sobs cut him off as he sobs into your stomach. "Angel please don't-" he sobs. "Please don't leave me. You can hate me all you want, just don't leave me."

Your heart breaks as you kneel to meet Azriel's height. "Oh no. Baby I'm so sorry. It cannot make up for my words and I'll do anything to make it up to you. Darling I'm so sorry." You wipe his tears away.

Azriel pulls you into his lap and buries his face into your neck. "Just don't leave me. Don't leave me." He sobs. "Oh baby, I'm not leaving you. I don't hate you, not at all. Oh baby." You coo, rocking the both of you left and right.

Finally, his sobs quiet, and he pulls away to look at you. "I'm sorry baby." You whisper. He shakes his head. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I shouldn't have. I should have been up front, and-"

You kiss him, interrupting his rant, and he desperately kisses you back. You break away and rest your forehead against his. "Do you want to take a bath first, then nap? Or do you want to nap, then take a bath?" You whisper. "Nap." He murmurs. He picks you up and carries you to your shared bed. You take off your dress, revealing your bra and panties, and Azriel strips down to his boxers.

You get into the bed first, opening the covers for him. Azriel follows right behind you and buries his face into your stomach, and you run your hands through his black hair, slowly putting him to sleep.

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #hurt/comfort #azriel fluff #azriel fic #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #acotar series #acowar #acosaf #acomaf

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ohtobeleah · 11 months

Text

Way Down We Go // Jake Seresin

Summary: Burnout isn't an academic exercise. No. It's an all-consuming, systemic condition. It's your entire body sending you one clear message. Something has to change and it has to change now.

Warnings: Angst. Mental health talks. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Friends to Lovers to ex’s to enemies to friends to lovers trope.

Word Count: 3.5k

Author Note: Based off my own recent experience with Burn Out. Writing this helped me process some of my pent up frustration with accepting the fact I experienced my first real major burn out at 24.

In 2019, the World Health Organisation officially recognised “Burnout” in its international classification of diseases. Studies show that aviators who report signs of burnout have enlarged amygdalas. The area in the brain that regulates fear and aggression.

But burnout isn't an academic exercise. No. It's an all-consuming, systemic condition. It's your entire body sending you one clear message. Something has to change and it has to change now.

Put simply, Burnout comes from a deep imbalance. Too much stress with too few rewards. You're exhausted. Depleted. You no longer have patience, pleasure of serotonin. This is the end unless–

You turn it into something else and find your path to recovery. Pick the pieces you want from your life and find a new way forward. But sometimes it isn't all that simple. Sometimes the all-consuming is just that, it's all-consuming–

And sometimes it's easier to drop the deadweight than to try and carry it on your shoulders.

“Anyone see Rouge today?” It was Hangman's tone that sent a shiver down Roosters spine as he scoffed down the turkey sandwich he had slapped together this morning in the rec room. “We’re on the schedule together after break and I haven't seen her all day?” Rooster knew exactly where you were. At home, probably in bed under a plethora of blankets just trying to catch up on some sleep.

“I uh–” Rooster was raised by an intelligent and loving woman who had always told him not to talk with his mouth full, but in times like these where every second mattered, that rule seemed more obsolete with every day that passed him by. He did however, make an effort to cover his mouth as he chewed and spoke. “Actually I think I’m with you this afternoon, Mav just hasn't had a chance to change the schedule.” It wasn't technically a lie.

“Is Rogue not in today?” Jake frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Or is she just avoiding me or something?” You and Jake Seresin had a complicated history. On again and off again romantically, on again off again friends, but these days it seemed to be that the two of you were more off than on. To the point where if you could avoid it, the two of you would ignore each other's existence completely. It was easier that way.

Which meant Jake didn't know just how bad things had gotten for you. He didn't know you’d decided to take an extended leave of absence from work until you could figure out just what the hell was wrong with you. He didn't know that Rooster had been at your house last night on a welfare check mission. He felt it was his responsibility, after all you were his uncle's daughter.

“Kerners decided to take some time off work.” Rooster explained the best he could without giving too much detail about your personal problems away. “After yesterday's mishap, she got spooked and asked Simpson for a few days to collect her thoughts.”

Jake swore his heart left his body when he saw you lose control for those few seconds. All he could do was watch on in pure horror as you tried to regain control of your fighter jet after getting caught in his jet wash. You panicked, something that was completely out of the ordinary for you which led to you losing control of your F-18 for those brief moments in time.

Jake wanted to talk to you after you landed, but within seconds of touching down you were heading straight for the locker room to grab your things. Unbeknownst to him it was your final straw. He hadn’t seen you since. And now Bradshaw was telling him you weren't in at all and wouldn't be for a while? Things weren’t adding up. Not to Jake. This wasn’t like you at all.

“What aren't you telling me, Rooster?” Jake pressed as he paced up and down the rec room with his arms folded. He cared about you, he just didn’t know how to convey that care. He’d never not care about you.

“I’m not not telling you anything.” Bradley replied, he looked like a deer caught in Jake's headlights. “We should get ready for our next hop man.” Bradley tried his best to change the subject, the subject being you and your mental stability. “I’m sure if Rogue has something to say she’ll say it.” He shrugged as he stood, knowing that Jake was probably the last person you would ever want to come clean to about being so vulnerable. “We better get going.”

“You’d tell me if she wasn’t alright, wouldn’t you?” Again, the tone Jake used sent a shiver down Bradley’s spine. He knew how tramaltious your relationship was. “If Kerner wasn’t alright you’d let me know?” Jake didn’t need Bradley to reply, his silence spoke louder than any excuse he could make up on the spot. “Dammit Bradshaw—“

“She didn’t want you to know!”

“Know what!?” Jake hissed. He didn’t raise his voice in fear of bringing any sort of unwanted attention to the situation, but he was worried. Worried about what he didn’t know, worried about you. The best friend he couldn’t talk to. The love of his life he couldn’t admit to. You were the only woman in the world who knew how to take his breath away, in more ways than one. “God Rooster, just tell me what’s going on!”

“She’s afraid to burn in—“ Bradley sighed as he held the bridge of his nose and hung his head in shame. You trusted him like an older brother and yet here he was, spilling your dirty mental health laundry to the only person you begged him not to tell. Jake Seresin, the love of your life that drove you insane. Your best friend who you couldn’t confide in, the only man who made you want to shoot for the moon and capture all the stars too. “She took an extended leave, told the Admirals they either needed to sign off on the paperwork or they’d be signing her death notice.” It was hard to hear because to Jake this was coming out of nowhere. “She just needs time.” Jake didn’t know how to respond, but most importantly he didn’t know how to react.

“I don’t have time for all this melodrama, Rooster.” Jake shook his head in disbelief. “If Rogue wants to throw her career away because of a few bad days so be it but I’m not sympathetic.” It was the only response Jake knew how to give, but he was panicking on the inside. “I’ll see you for pre-flight checks.”

“I think it’s more than just a few bad days, Hangman.” Bradley wasn’t going to say when he saw you last night he hardly recognised you. “She’s hid it well.” In all the time Bradley had known you, he’d never seen you this bad before. It was serious. He’d experienced his own burn out a few years back just after the Uranium mission. Before you joined the Daggers. It had taken its toll on him a hell of a lot more than he was prepared for. “She hid it so well I didn’t even know something was up until she was on the edge already.”

In that very moment Bradley came to realised why you didn’t want Jake to know you were struggling, you didn’t want him to know that if given the chance you’d quit tomorrow because the burn out you were in was so entirely consuming that it made it hard to even get out of bed. When was the last time you ate?

“She hid it so well it’s almost hard to believe, don't you think?” Jake snapped over his shoulder as he left the rec room, completely in denial about the fact you didn’t let him in.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

The entire day had passed you by before you even contemplated the idea of getting out of bed. The idea in and of itself seemed exhausting. Expending any kind energy other than the minimal amount to breath seemed like a chore.

Your stomach grumbled as you sat up and looked out the window that nestled itself beside your bed—pushed up against the wall just the way you liked it. It was dark, the day had passed and even though you couldn’t be bothered doing anything, the idea you’d wasted a full day in bed made you feel like shit. Plain and simple. You felt like crap and there was no one else to blame for that intense feeling of disappointment than yourself.

As you climbed over your mess of linen and covers, a not so subtle knock began to echo out through your apartment.

“Rooster!” You groaned, pressing your forehead into your mattress as you slumped in defeat. “Go away! I told you I’m fine!” You weren’t fine, you just didn’t want anyone worrying about you. You had this under control right? Even if you didn’t know what was happening to you.

When the knocking persisted you knew you had to let Bradley in, he’d camp out in the hall before he left without seeing you.

“My god I told you I’m fine!” You groaned as you made your way down the hall. Still in the same clothes you went to bed in yesterday afternoon. “I don’t need you doing welfare checks on me every dam—“ As you opened the door, it took you a second to register that it wasn’t Bradley standing out in the hall. “Jake?” You frowned, suddenly feeling a hell of a lot more vulnerable than you did six minutes ago. “What are you doing here?”

“Bradshaw said you’re on leave?” Was all Jake said as he stepped into your apartment, it still felt like home despite the fact he hadn’t been over in months since your last bust. “What gives Rogue?” He was still in his flight suit, usually Jake showed before leaving base. But you were the priority right now. He just needed to see you. See for himself what the hell was going on.

You watched as Jake made his way into your home, into your sacred space without so much as an afterthought that he may be intruding. He never did think his actions through if he wasn’t inside an F-18.

“Is that your way of asking me if I’m alright?” You rolled your eyes as you shut the front door, making a note to lock it behind you in case any other nosie aviators with callsigns that belonged to the flightless bird community came knocking.

“It’s my way of asking what gives—“ Jake made sure to correct you. “So what gives? It’s not like you to take a break, you’re as good as they come—don’t actually get any better if you want my personal opinion.” It wasn’t a secret that you and Jake rotated as ‘The Best’ like a rositery chicken. He was on top one week and suddenly it was you by just a few points. But the sentiment remained, you were the only one who ever came close to matching Jake Seresin. It was just in your DNA.

“Yeah I don’t remember asking for it.” You hissed, pushing past Jake as he stood in your hallway like a fungus you needed to get rid of before it had a chance to infect you. “Just because I’m the best doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a break from time to time.”

As you made your way down the hall toward your bedroom, Jake noticed the way your shoulders slumped just the slightest bit. He noticed the way you looked as if you hadn’t been out of bed all day, the way your hair looked like a bird's nest atop your head. And he wasn’t sure why you were wearing the T-shirt he thought he’d lost three weeks ago but as it turned out you had it all along.

“Y/n—“ Jake sighed as he watched you disappear into your room without so much as an explanation. “Wait.”

“I need to shower.” It was the toneless way you explained yourself that sent warning signals off in Jake's mind as he followed you.

“Hypothetically if I were to ask if you were doing okay would you tell me the truth?” You and Jake hadn’t always been so short with one another, but it was just the way it was now. It was the dynamic you were used to but loathed so much. You just wanted him to love you the way you saw in all the Disney films that were crammed down your throat as a kid.

But Jake couldn’t. It wasn’t in his DNA.

“Probably not, but like I told Bradshaw last night, I’m fine, just needed some time off work.” You shrugged as you fished through your dresser for a fresh pair of socks. Jake just stood off to the side, unsure of what to make of the mess that was your room. Usually you made it a note to keep your space clean and tidy. But when Jake looked around all he saw was complete chaos, a quick look into the inside of your mind looked like.

“Isn’t that what weekends and annual leave is for?” He mumbled just loud enough for you to hear.

“Couldn’t wait—I’m taking this unpaid and uninterrupted, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to shower.”

“Don’t lie to me.” It came out more like a plea than a demand but it still didn’t sit right with you. You knew Jake Seresin didn’t care about anyone but himself. You’d known him long enough to know that he was selfishly egomaniacal. He didn’t care, not about you anyway. “Don’t lie to me Kerner—“

Jake had stopped you from moving any further towards your ensuite, with a gentle hand wrapped around your forearm.

“I’m. Fine.” You had grit your teeth together to stop yourself from breaking. The force was enough to make your jaw ache. “Let. Me. Go.”

“Really?” Jake challenged. “Because I’m standing on a pile of washing that smells like the inside of Fanboys locker.”

“What has that got to do with anything!” As you ripped your arm out of Jake's grip he was quick to follow you into your bathroom. “I’m behind on laundry, big deal.”

“It’s a big deal for you!” You could feel yourself crumbling the more Jake pressed you for the truth. “I don’t know what’s going on but—“

“Oh what exactly do you want me to say Jake? That I get up and then all day I'm tired, and that I wanna take a nap all day?” Everything you had been trying to hold in and deny was finally bubbling to the surface. “Do you want to hear me say that I have no motivation? That I don't wanna do anything.”

“Y/n—“ Jake tried to interrupt as you threw your stuff on the bathroom floor in a heap. “It’s—“ There wasn’t a single thing Jake could say that could comfort you once the damn had been broken, you had held it all in for so long.

“That I don't want to work, I can’t Jake because if I’m not in my own mind than I could kill myself up there or even worse–I could kill one of you!”

All Jake could do was to stand there and listen as you let him know everything you had been struggling with for the past few months, slowly losing yourself day by day. You didn’t know what was wrong with you, why you felt this way, why all the enjoyment and all of the life had been sucked out of you.

“I don't want to talk to anyone, especially you!” It was then you shoved at Jake’s chest, completely fed up with your emotional turmoil. He didn’t fight back, no. Jake simply held you close to his chest as he pulled you into a warm embrace that you so desperately needed. “I don't want to hang out with anyone, I don’t wanna watch TV or read a book or even go on my phone but at the same time as all of that I'm so bored! I don't care about anything because all that I care about is just surviving.”

“You’re burnt out Rogue—“

“I’m not!!” Jake swore black and blue that was what you’d been trying to get at. “I can’t be burnt out!” He was even more confused than he was when Rooster had tiptoed around the situation earlier that same day. “My dad burnt out when he was at the height of his career and you know what he did?” Jake knew, he loved your dad like his own. Ron Slider Kerner was one of the best men Jake had ever had the pleasure of knowing. “He became a goddamn airline pilot!” There was anger in your voice, a deep sadness that Jake didn’t understand, what was so wrong with being an airline pilot?

“Y/n, Y/n—“ Jake held you as tight as he could. He hadn’t held you like this in what felt like forever. “You’re gonna be okay.” Your head dipped just perfectly under his chin as you broke, there was nothing worse than crying into the arms of the man you loved and hated all at once. “I’m here, you’re gonna be fine.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” It was the sadness in your cry for help that broke Jake's heart the most, how long had you been dealing with this by yourself? How long had you been telling the people closest to you that you were fine when you really weren’t. “Why can’t I just—“ You couldn’t breathe. “Why can’t I—“ You couldn’t finish your sentences without nearly gasping for air. “I—I can’t—“

“Okay, you’re alright, come with me. Something about Jake Seresin that surprised you the most was the way he dealt with panic attacks. For a guy as level headed as him he sure suffered in silence for the longest time. But you knew—it was one of the reasons you thought Jake couldn’t stand you half the time.

You knew his biggest weakness. Himself.

“Sit.” Jake led you over to the side of your bed as he knelt on his knees before you. “Now just breathe with me alright, I’ve got you.” It was the calming tone in his beautiful voice that had you giving yourself entirely to him. You didn’t want to be trapped inside your own head anymore. “There’s nothing wrong with you Rogue, everyone goes through burnout, it’s a part of life.” Jake wasn't diminishing your feelings, but from his own experience he knew that there was a weight on your shoulders you needed to rid yourself of. “And it’s real, and it’s valid and it doesn’t mean you aren’t incredibly good at what you do.”

“I can’t handle the pressure—“

“No, you put too much pressure on yourself, that’s what you can’t handle.”

“Oh what do you care Jake!” He’d never seen you like this, so lost and so broken. “Why are you even here right now!”

“Because I care about you! Why else would I be here, huh?” Jake cupped your cheeks gently as he wiped away the tears that streamed down your supple cheeks. “I care about you and when Bradshaw told me you took a leave of absence I knew something was up. This isn’t you.” It was the truth, it wasn’t you and that’s why it scared you so much. You didn’t feel like yourself. “Baby, this isn’t you.”

All you did was cry in Jake's slightly rough palms as he kneeled before you and tried to do what he could to just be present. He hated seeing you like this, so out of your mind and dealing with an existential crisis. But Jake knew what it was like to experience burnout.

“I can’t be burn out—“

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not real?” That was probably the stupidest thing Jake had ever heard you say. “My mum always used to say that being burnt out was just an excuse for not being good enough, it was a cop out.”

“Something tells me that’s a reason why your parents divorced huh?” You couldn’t hold back the small chuckle that escaped through the sobs. “Y/n, what you're experiencing right now is so real it’s not funny—burnout is real and I reckon once you accept that? It’s going to be easier to overcome than to fight off.”

“You seem to know an awful lot about this for a guy who’s as confident as ever.”

“Contrary to popular belief Rogue, I wasn’t born the best.” Jake winked as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “How about you go have that shower and I’ll order some food and we can talk about it, all of it.”

“Is this your way of trying to get in my pants?”

“Mmm—it usually would be, but no, not this time.” Jake admitted as he graciously helped you stand as you sighed out a deep breath. “I’m here to help, can’t leave my wingwoman behind.”

“I love you Seresin.” You smiled softly as you pressed your lips together in a fine line. It was hard to admit, but you’d never not love Jake. “Thanks for showing up.” Jake mimicked your smile before his lips pressed into a fine line of their own. He nodded softly before you turned on your heels, heading into the bathroom before shutting the door behind you.

“I love you too.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

#jake seresin x female!reader #jake seresin x reader #top gun fanfic #hangman top gun #jake seresin x y/n #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x f!reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman imagine

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rxmqnova · 3 months

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Hi, I sent this to another person before but they didn't write it and ask about if I could send it to another person and I thought about you because I love how you write.

Well, Wanda and Yn were together for like five months but they didn't know each other friends. So lets just say when Yn introduced Wanda to her friends, everything seems perfect but it wasn't like that, her friends talked behind her back that Yn's ex was better and after a few times all of them hang out with Yn and Wanda, when Yn went to have another drink, they were asking questions and saying a few things about Yn's ex( the relationship wasn't perfect, not toxic but not the perfect one, and Yn didn't say nothing to them so they didn't know.)

Since that, Wanda was a bit off, doing other things or decline the offers to hang out with them, Yn noticed that and asked her but she didn't say nothing.

Wanda talked to Nat about it and Nat reassured her that if Yn was with her and not with her ex was because she loves her. Yn didn't like the situation at all, and one day when her friends were at her house, she went to the bathroom and when she come back she heard what they talked, about Wanda and she kicked them out of her house, saying that if they gonna talk about her like that, they wouldn't be her friends anymore. So she thought about if they say something to her and started to connect everything, so she went to Wanda's house and they talked about it and you know, everything is perfect hahahaha happy ending of course.

So called friends

NO ONE'S POV "Hi, guys" Y/N smiles, approaching a group of her friends while holding her girlfriend's hand and giving it a squeeze, knowing Wanda's been feeling a little nervous.

It's been about 5 months since Y/N and Wanda started dating. Though they've never really met each other's friends yet, so that's what's happening right now.

Y/N met Wanda's friends yesterday and everything was perfect. They all liked her and everyone had a great time. Though now it's time for Wanda to meet her girlfriend's friends.

After introducing every single one of Y/N's friends to Wanda, the pair finally takes a seat and joins the conversation. That's when Wanda finally relaxes as it all seems to be just like yesterday.

"I'll go for more drinks" Y/N informs, pecking Wanda's lips and walking to the bar, leaving her girlfriend alone with her friends.

Even without Y/N around everything seems fine. Wanda gets asked a few questions about her hobbies, how's her relationship with Y/N, about her family. Just like a normal conversation to get to know each other.

Everyone's actually having a great time, talking and laughing. At least that's what Y/N and Wanda think…

———

It took a few more hang outs with Y/N's friends until Wanda started feeling a little uncomfortable. They are fine when Y/N's around, but if she's not, the so called friends always bring up Y/N's ex-girlfriend.

"I mean… Y/N and Sarah met at a bar actually. She was such an amazing girl. I really don't understand why they broke up, they were perfect for each other" One of the 'friends' says.

Wanda sinks into her seat, not saying anything and fidgeting with her rings. Do Y/N's friends really think she's not enough for her that they keep bringing that Sarah up? Was that girl really such a great girlfriend? Why did her and Y/N broke up then?

The endless hang out finally comes to an end when the pair arrives to Y/N's apartment. Wanda's sure by now she doesn't want to attend any other hang out with these people ever again.

And she doesn't. Every time Y/N asks her, Wanda declines, making up an excuse. Or whenever Y/N invites them over, Wanda just disappears for hours.

Of course that didn't go unnoticed by Y/N. But everything was fine, so why doesn't Wanda want to spend time with her and her friends anymore?

"Baby?" Y/N says quietly, looking at her girlfriend who's currently cuddled up to her as they're watching a movie.

"Yeah?" Wanda smiles, locking her eyes with Y/N's and waiting for her next words.

"Is everything okay? Did something happen between you and my friends?" Y/N asks, keeping her gaze at Wanda.

"Everything's fine. Why are you asking?" Wanda lies.

"It's just… you're always busy when I ask you to come with us. I thought that maybe something happened between you and them" Y/N explains.

"I'm just busy with work. Everything's okay. Really" Wanda lies once again, giving Y/N a reassuring smile and hoping she will buy it.

———

Y/N did buy it in the end. Wanda doesn't know why she just didn't tell the truth. Her girlfriend would understand, right?

Or maybe not. After all, Y/N knows her friends way longer that her. And something in the back of her mind is screaming Y/N could believe her friends instead.

"I just don't know what to do" Wanda sighs.

She only just told her best friend the whole story, hoping Natasha would tell her what to do.

"Do you love her?" Natasha asks, studying Wanda's face impression while sipping on her coffee.

"Of course I do. I just…" Wanda sighs, not finishing her sentence.

"Wanda, if you love her then just talk to her. She loves you. Why would she be with you if she didn't?"

These words get Wanda thinking. Natasha's right. Why would Y/N be with her if she didn't love her?

Meanwhile Y/N is having her friends over. With a smile on her face, she quickly checks herself up in the mirror before leaving the bathroom and walking back to the living room where all of her friends are.

Her smile fades when she hears her friends talking on which she stops walking and listens.

"I don't know, you guys. Wanda just seems weird to me. I mean… she's always so busy. I wouldn't be surprised if she had someone else"

"I really don't know what Y/N sees in her. I bet you guys, that girl is walking around and hooking up with other girls. Sarah would never do that"

"Sarah was way better, I'll never understand why Y/N dumped her" "If you like my ex-girlfriend so much, why don't you just date her yourself" Y/N says, anger in her voice as she's facing all of her so called friends.

"Oh… how much did you hear?" One of them asks which makes Y/N's blood boil.

"Wanda is my girlfriend and if you can't respect that, I'm sorry, but you need to leave" She walks to the front door, opening them and gesturing for them to leave. "I'm not going to repeat myself, just leave"

Wanda would never cheat and Y/N knows that. She knows her friends really liked her ex-girlfriend, but if they talked about her with Wanda then she's not even surprised Wanda doesn't want to spend time with them.

"Wanda isn't a cheater. And I want you all to respect that she's my girlfriend now and stop comparing her to Sarah. If I hear one more bad word about Wanda, I'm sorry, but we won't be friends anymore" And with those words Y/N shuts the door.

Y/N doesn't waste a single moment and grabs her car keys, immediately walking to her car and driving to Wanda's place.

It just all makes sense now and Y/N is ready to prove her girlfriend she's the only one who she wants to be with.

Natasha's only just left when Y/N rings the doorbell, so it takes only a few seconds before the door opens.

"I'm sorry" Is the first thing Y/N says, Wanda's head tilting in confusion.

"About what?" Wanda questions.

"About my friends. They talked to you about Sarah, didn't they? They don't know how things really were between us and I'm really sorry you had to listen to anything they said. I love you, and only you. And I don't want to spend any more second without you" Y/N blurts out, leaving Wanda in a complete shock that she doesn't even know what to say.

"I-I don't know what to say. I mean… I-I love you too, so much. And you have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N/N. I should have told you" Wanda sighs.

"No, they need to learn how to respect our relationship if they still want to be friends with me" Y/N states, taking Wanda's hand in hers. "You're the love of my life, Wands. And I won't let them ruin it"

Wanda thinks for a while, a blush spread across her cheeks at her girlfriend's words. But then she finally speaks up.

"How about we finally move in together?"

----------------------

Wanda Maximoff masterlist

Masterlist

#wanda maximoff #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #natasha romanoff

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yeyinde · 1 year

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Hiii I LOVED your fic with soap I’ve read it like 5 times since I found it yesterday, your writing is absolutely STUNNING and the characterization for Soap was spot on. If you have any free time I would love a Ghost fic like Soap’s— domestic, fluff, SMUT, and a little angst. I feel like Ghost would be a tender, giving lover if given the chance to be truly comfortable with someone. Anyway, if not, I just wanted to say your writing is some of the best I’ve ever read and it inspired me to pick up my own pen and start writing again :)

hi! @madiganjay and thank you so much!! 🖤😭 that's so sweet and i'm sooo sorry this took so long! i have no excuses just Ghost + Domestic Fluff had me oscillating between several different ways this could go. to me, the idea of domesticity with Ghost is permanence and presence. something tangible that confirms his existence, that ties him to you.

i tried my best at domestic Ghost, so i don't know if this is quite what you had in mind, but i hope you enjoy it!! this is nearly 8k of Ghost Doing His Best™️

⇾ warnings: gendered reader, female!reader, gendered anatomy; unfettered filth (as per usual); slightly possessive!Ghost, jealous!Ghost; unsafe sex

"Brought curry." It's not much of a greeting—no hello, how are you? How was your day?—just: "didn't have lamb, so I got chicken."

On the television in front of him, a game between Everton and Manchester United plays. Streaks of red and blue dart across the sprawling field of green. Takeout is spread out on your coffee table—curry for him, butter chicken for you; he got you salted Lassi, too. The white drink sits on the table beside the styrofoam containers, dripping condensation down the clear plastic cup. The colours catch in the clear polymer. Neon smears in milky white.

Its—

Salt pools between your teeth; your lips sting. "You—," your voice breaks over the word; a tendril of embarrassment curls inside of your guts, admixing the alcohol you'd just finished drinking with Gaz. You flush, clear your throat. "I wasn't expecting you."

It's a stupid thing to say, in retrospect. You never expect him, and you suppose that's the point. Ghost—Simon Riley—comes and goes like an undomesticated alley cat wandering around until he lets himself inside your flat for however long he plans on staying.

There is no routine in this. No set schedule; nothing was ever painted in concrete, just shades of sporadic abstracts. He comes, he goes. Ephemeral visits only a handful of times a year.

It's the fourth—year, that is.

The weight of it sat in your stomach for weeks. Knots spool together until a clump forms in the pit. Heavy and noxious; it leaked poison into your bloodstream that carried the illness of want in a particularly nasty shade of green.

Four years since Price had dragged you—an office worker on loan from HQ—to a sparse room in a country you'd never been to before, and you set your eyes on the interrogator known, then, only as Ghost.

(Terrorism never sleeps, Price always says.

Whenever he's around, neither do you.)

The walls were painted in rust. The stench of wet pennies and sweat filled the air. None of that mattered, though, when you looked up, and caught liquid sin gazing at you from wide, red-rimmed eyes.

(Maybe, he doesn't sleep, either.)

You fed him information through an earpiece as you scoured and decoded the rudimentary messages in the text the enemy sent to each other, and tried to remain professional when his voice growled his affirmative in shades of smoke and violence in your ear.

Hours later, exhausted and craving something to keep you from wishing the world was constructed by the hand of solipsism, you leaned against the window, desperately trying to pretend you were the same person you were yesterday.

Lidded eyes swept across the vast expanse in front of you—barren lands, badlands: wartorn and deadly, and littered with carrion. You tried to stop your hands from shaking by curling them into fists, but all it did was puncture your palm, and fill your nails with sticky blood.

It didn't work— nothing did.

You sunk your teeth into your knuckles to stop the quiver in your joints.

War is much different in person than it is on a blue screen. Numbers—friends, foes, coordinates, codes—are much easier to stomach when they're all in binary. A marker on your desktop goes down, disappears from the black map in front of you, and you pick up your earpiece, calling it into evac, and click on another to follow, to relay commands in code.

One life is gone, enemy or friend, and you sip your expensive coffee (£5.6 but the logo is cute, and beans are robust) while staring at the pictures dotting the navy blue fabric of the pre-owned cubicle. Docile. Mundane. You glance at the clock, and wait for the hour to pass until you can leave, and spend the rest of the evening watching shows.

You think once, perhaps thrice, about the men in green who will never get the chance to come home again, but it's smothered when your coworker leans over the metal divider, asking if you want anything from Greggs.

A game of chess with real people.

(You slept rather soundly before this. Now, binary numbers make you tremble.)

The worn wood behind you creaks.

Price, you think, forcing a smile that doesn't fit. Neither do the fatigues. The stench of rot in your nose. The gun they shoved into your hands.

"I'd kill for a coffee, sir."

When you turn, you're met with the endless yawning of night condensed in circles framed by pale flaxen. A storm in the middle of a wheat field. Stalks of yellow smatter across midnight blue.

Ghost.

There is a moment of nothing where he simply tips his chin, baleen lines bunching together, and stares at you. It's unnerving. Eerie. He feels entirely out of place in this world, and yet—

You can't imagine him anywhere else.

His stare is heavy. He blinks his eyes shut. You breathe again. They slide open. The air is siphoned from your lungs.

A chasm sits in his gaze. You find the heft isn't entirely unpleasant.

Then, he shifts. Shadows flexing in the limited light. A car driving down the street, headlight burning the tenebrose until it dances, scattering across your room. He moves like liquid in the dark.

"Coffee won't help," is all he says. Impassive. Pragmatic. But his eyes—

Your throat is acrid. Sand gathers in wet clumps against your larynx. You swallow, and taste Yorkshire Gold. Pennies.

"Any suggestions about what might, then?"

It takes him two steps to get to the window to your four. His size is—

Immeasurable.

He's a man, you think, and yet—

It's not so much the sheer bulk of him, the height, but rather the way he carries himself. There is a presence about him that makes him feel bigger, more dangerous. He knows his heft and uses it to his advantage. He takes up space until you feel smothered by his proximity, but—

You don't think anyone else has ever felt more distant.

A moor. Wide, endlessly deep, but uncrossable. Untraversable. Mouldering signs are pitched in the recesses of his eyes when they slide to you, liquid black pooling in the corner, and they all say: stay away.

(Written in red. In blood.)

"A few," he offers. His gaze drifts back to the grime-streaked window. "Nothing legal."

"Oh," you mutter, blinking. You can't tell if it's a joke or not.

"Get some tea. It'll calm your nerves."

"I'm not—," you start but his eyes drop to your hands, clenched by your sides, and shaking. Beads of crimson gather in the cup, pooling in your lifeline. Guilty, then.

He leaves you by the window, and you watch his broad back retreat through the arched doorway. A layer of sand fluttered under his boots. No prints.

(Is he even real? Or did the endless dunes of decay conjure him up in grains of sand, and rot?)

You find the stash of tea (Price muttering something behind you about Gaz drinking all the bloody English Breakfast), and in the loose, dried leaves of brown, black, and fawn, you find yourself thinking of him.

Four years later: he's still on your mind.

"I was out with—"

"Garrick."

"Gaz," you say instinctively. Only Laswell gets away with calling him Kyle. Everything else just sounds wrong. "We went to some club in Essex. I would have come home sooner if I'd known—"

You stop. Teeth sinking into your tongue. Stupid. Stupid. You think of the man in the club with hands that were cold as ice. The irritation you felt toward Gaz when he pulled you away, and shoved you into a taxi. His knuckles knocked on the hood. Don't drive away until you see their door shut, yeah? He slips folded bills into the man's hand through the crack in the window. Message me when you get home.

You sent the text when your key cut through the hole. Home. Thanks.

His reply was instant: worry about you sometimes. Get some sleep.

"Um…thank you for the food. I'm actually starving," you huff, words tumbling out in an effort to stem your accidental faux pas. "We didn't eat before we headed out. I only had a few drinks, but—"

More than a few. Your feet wobble.

"—Thanks." You wince, adding: "again. It's—it's good to see you—"

Stupid. Stupid.

He says nothing, but his stare hasn't wavered since you opened the door. An indecipherable Rorschach. Unknowable. Unreachable.

Four years, and you still have no idea what this is.

Three months in the desert drinking tea with a behemoth who had an absurd sense of humour, and then—

Home. Goodbye. Price waving you off: a two-finger salute diving off his forehead. Ghost stood on the tarmac of some private, military-owned base. A sleek, black Jeep a few paces away to take you wherever you wanted to go.

Home, you supposed. You look around and it feels wrong. Stuck in limbo, purgatory. A strange microcosm where the people are the same—the man in the Jeep has a thick Northern accent; his words are rounded, and robust—but the place is different.

Know anything to calm the nerves now that we're home, sir?

His head tips. A few. None of them are good for you.

The tea was pretty good advice.

He'd said nothing. Nothing, nothing—

The man poked his head out the window. "Coming?"

You offered a shaky smile. See you around, Simon—

You'd slapped your palm against your mouth, eyes darting around the barren void in the middle of needn't know and somewhere in England, and he—

He shuddered. Eyes a polynya. A rumble broke the silence. Low, and—

You turned, hand curling over the handle of the car. You'd gotten it open an inch before his hand slammed on the frame beside the window, the door snapping shut. The force of it rocked the Jeep.

They're riding with me.

And—

Now: he sits in your home with takeout from the Indian place you like, one you mentioned in passing a year ago. The place with the best raita and spicy chicken biryani.

The one with a shell-shocked teenager manning the front with a single cook in the back. The register is barely used. They yell your order through a small window to the kitchen, and the cook brings it out himself when he's finished. It always feels a little bit illegal when he hands you the bag, but you're almost certain this man is secretly a Micheline star chef when he isn't condensing samsara into his tandoori.

Silent, a little tipsy, you toe your shoes off, trying not to make any more of a fool of yourself tonight. You stumble a little, head thick with those stupid sex on the beaches Gaz bought for you, and slowly make your way to the couch.

He hasn't looked away. Not once.

It's stifling. His presence nearly smothers you.

It usually isn't this— strange.

The handful of times he'd come around, it was always the same routine, the same dance. He'd be there, bathed in black and searching the alcoves of your flat, and then—on you. Your back against the wall, the hello snuffed out by the bulk of his body pressing into yours, his hands on your thighs, fingers tugging at the hem of your clothing. You'd tumble somewhere: the wall or the floor or the couch more often than not.

(It took him a year to fuck you on your bed.)

The next morning, he'd be gone. Rising before the sun—if he even slept at all—and off somewhere until late at night. He'd stay a few nights, but those were rare. Usually, it was once.

One night of brutal fucking where he had on you nearly every surface in your flat, taking, and taking until the sky broke crimson, and your eyes misted over from fatigue. He'd drop you in your bed, and when you woke up, sore and dazed and aching all over—

The bed is cold. Empty.

His presence is erased. The only thing that confirms it wasn't a dream is the burn between your legs, the quiver in your knees, and the bruises along your hips and thighs in the perfect impression of his large hands.

I wasn't expecting you, you'd once said.

His eyes are glued to you. Liquid midnight framed in white. Want me to leave, pet?

They dance with humour, hidden in the shadows of his intense stare, when you trip over yourself in your haste to say no. No, no, please—stay.

Sometimes, you like to pretend those obsidian edges softened a little at the ache in your voice. The palpable urgency bleeds through. That they regard you with a touch more warmth than before.

"Alright," he says, and nothing more. Alright.

It's enough. More than enough, really. It's a miracle a man like Simon would even offer that much considering his life, and who he is. It's more than you'd ever ask for.

And yet—

(In the darkness of your room, you crumble.)

—you want more.

More. More—

The butter chicken is warm, and slightly cooled. You glance at him from the corner of your eye. How long had he waited for you? Why did he wait for you?

You bite the soft, buttered naan to keep yourself from asking those silly questions.

This whole thing—if it even is a thing—is purely physical. Release. Something to stem the surreal feeling of being back on land where guns aren't being aimed at your head, and artillery fire doesn't clog the atmosphere. The stench of death is replaced by the cold, wet streets of London. The screams of the dying are just honking cars from impatient drivers; the chatter of civilians.

It's something to quench the inescapable sense of ennui when you leave the building after playing with the lives of the men on the field, and hear mothers chatting in the train about the mundanity of life.

Anything to calm the nerves. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And yet: he's sitting on your couch with his mask rolled up to his nose, eating chicken curry while passively watching football on your small television. Your hands brush when you both reach for more naan or roti. Gaze meeting over the Biryani.

It's different. New. This hasn't ever happened before in the four years since the conception of whatever this is. It's—

Jarring. Bewildering.

You expect, at some point, for him to stand up, and leave. That intimacy of eating dinner together while he murmurs low about what certain calls, or plays mean to you will break something inside of him, and scare him away. It's soft. Domestic.

Ghost is untouchable. Unseen.

But your eyes find the orange sauce smeared on the corner of his mouth. The ashen stubble on his chin, and jaw. The flash of teeth when he brings the dripping piece of curry to his mouth. His jaw working as he chews. The swallow. A flash of red when he tries, and fails, to catch every bit of curry from his lips.

It's bliss, you find. These small moments when he feels so distinctly human clot in your chest, and you worry that one day the mass will grow to be so big, you will crumble under the weight of it all.

(Maybe, it's the sex on the beach, the too-sweet rumchata, but the thought makes your stomach burn with anticipation. You want this man to ruin you with the mundane.)

"Finished your dinner?" He asks, eyes sliding to you.

The meagre food sits like a lump of coal. Your appetite dissolves as your slurried mind struggles to both remain as composed as possible so as not to spook him, and keep all the ugly things you want to say behind the seal of your lips.

It should just be sex. Fucking. No strings attached. Nothing—

You wonder if it's your life, drenched in a proxy of ordinary, that lures him in. You're not a civilian, but compared to him, you're only a short step above. Is it just—happenstance? Does he come to you because there are no other options for a man who died years ago?

Are you—

Convenient.

Something to pass the time. Something that makes him feel human again.

An evanescent dalliance within the boundaries of having no past, and no future. He isn't jeopardising himself by sneaking into your flat at night to satiate the hunger inside; the need to feel something other than the weight of a gun in his hands, and smell the blood, the smoke, the napalm in the air.

You work in the same circle.

He, when he's allowed to exist, on the field; and you, sitting behind a computer screen while you oversee the deaths of others in a sequence of numbers.

Your hands are too delicate to carry the weight of a gun, to aim and pull the trigger, but he can still feel the same sin when your fingers touch his flesh.

Not drenched in blood, but stained.

You're not innocent; he isn't sullying a civilian with his rough hands that reek of gunpowder.

You exist in that murky limbo he can fall in. Safety lingers in the cartilage of your joints; familiar, and attainable: you know the rules and what he does. You will never look him in the eye and ask why.

But—you're still dangerous. Covetous.

More, you think. You want more.

"I—," you taste malt on your tongue. You didn't drink any, but the taste reminds you of—

Hands on your waist. Warm breath in your ear. Come home with me.

Gaz, suddenly there, eyes blazing. Step off, mate.

Everton scores: blurs of blue dart across the green, but none of it sticks in the gummy lining of your head. It feels like you're somewhere else. Your body is sitting on the couch; you feel the soft, worn cushion below. The food is heavy on your belly. Eyes grainy from the alcohol you'd drank.

But you're not here.

You're adrift in grey matter. Head tilted toward the pink, undulating dome above. Afloat in stagnant molasses.

"I kissed someone tonight," you murmur. On the screen, a man throws his hands up, words at the bottom blur together.

The couch creaks when he moves. You can feel his stare on your temple, on you, but you don't meet it. Coward.

The geyser in the brackish pond rumbles. It tastes of sabotage.

"I probably would have gone home with them, too, if it wasn't for Gaz."

The roar of the television is the only sound you hear, but it feels distant. Warbled. There is a pounding in your head that starts at the base of your skull. The beat almost sounds like a warning.

Your hands tighten around the wet plastic cup of the cool salted Lassi. The crinkle it makes drowns out the noise of the cushion shifting under his weight.

"I guess it's a good thing I came home when I did—"

"Yeah, it is."

You can't place his tone. Arctic ice. Polar. A Chinook, perhaps. It bites into you, churning the chicken and alcohol in your stomach.

At least, in the end there would be no questions. No late nights gazing up at the ceiling, or leaning over the sink, peering at yourself in the mirror to make sense of why he picked you. It would just be—

An empty bed. Dinner for one. A single toothbrush in the holder.

(I bought you a toothbrush. You can leave it in the—

No need. I got my own.)

You huff. "Says you—"

"I'd have ripped him limb from limb for touchin' you."

His eyes are darker than you'd ever seen them. Black holes. Pooled ink.

For all your aplomb, your demure under the ire in those alcoves. The ones that leak—impossible—the same covetous spool in your chest.

"Simon—"

"Where'd he touch you?"

It's a command.

He reaches out; his palm is blistering when it rests on your bare thigh.

"Here?"

"Why—?" You shiver. "Why would you tear him—"

Sometimes, you forget how massive he is, but he seems quite eager to remind you when his hand falls on the cushion behind your head, closing that meagre distance between the two of you with his body. He's a shadow looming over you. A gaping chasm that yawns before you. Dangerous and dark. The warning signs are written in blood.

Stay away, they say, but he pushes himself closer to you.

"I don't share."

"What—what is there to share?"

His eyes flutter. Hard, unyielding obsidian. In the gaps, sit a near cosmic distance. An unreachable planet on the fringes of the solar system.

Ashen brows draw together. A cornered animal will lash out, and—

"Thought it was obvious."

You swallow and taste the sea. "It isn't."

An impasse, then, when he freezes. When his hand burrowing between your thighs halts on your flesh. An uncrossable no man's land. A valley where those who venture seldom return.

The chossy below your feet wobbles.

He says nothing. You don't expect him to, but you can't say it hurts any less.

You knew what you were getting into. What this was.

Still:

"Maybe we should stop this."

"That what you want?"

"It's pretty obvious it isn't, and that's the problem. I'm not going to ask for more than you'll give, but—;" a deep breath, a shudder. His thumb brushes your skin, a soft roll of his rough finger, and your heart thrums. Sings. The catch in your voice is thick, palpable. "How can you expect me not to want more?"

"What do you want? Want me to show my face? That it?" His hand raises to the edge of the mask, and something sours inside of you. "If you want to see so—"

Your hand on his wrist stops him from tugging it down. "I don't." Firm, decisive. "I don't want that, Simon. I just want you. And if—;" your eyes flicker to the containers, the half-eaten food on the coffee table. A dinner usually for one. "If you keep doing this—dinner, and—and—"

"I thought you liked butter chicken."

Your chest expands with your exasperated huff. Humour, at a time like this. And yet— "I do. I just meant—"

"I know, pet. I know."

"If you keep this up, I'll want more." You turn to him, hand dropping from his wrist. "I'm greedy. How can I not be when you tell me stupid jokes and bring me curry?"

"I knew you'd like them."

"Simon—"

Avoidance, then.

His hand inches down, sliding up your thigh. The loose shorts you'd worn fall to the side, and he slips through until his fingers meet the gusset of your panties.

"You're wet," he husks, leaning down. His forehead pressed to your temple. He smells of turmeric and ash. "That all for me, pet?"

Your thighs spread, giving him more room. His fingers brush along the seam of your clothed cunt. Your chin dips. Charcoal. Midnight black. His lashes are long. The missing coal around his eyes makes them look darker.

"Always."

His knuckle presses against your clit, chest brushing over your shoulder. "Better be."

Lashes flutter when you mewl, arching your back to get more of his touch. Needy, eager. You gasp when his finger crooks inside of your panties, bare skin on your cunt. You’re feverish; burning up from his touch alone. An ache knots in your belly; a spooling coil winding when his knuckle grazes your flesh. His breath is heavy in your ear.

"C'mon," he murmurs, the tip of his finger drags down the length of your slit. "Haven't had this pussy in months, pet. Need to feel you."

His words made something inside of you snap.

It's frantic: desperation claws at your chest carrying the urge to sink your teeth in his skin until it punctures with your mark, one that brands his body. The thought alone makes your belly quiver. An ache. A need. An itch. He's there, always: his hands are firm on your waist when you slide into his lap, hips pressing against your core as your fingers tug the buttons of his trousers off.

Your thighs burn from the stretch of his bulk. The sheer absurdity of how massive he is, and how comparatively small you feel with your knees split apart, is never more apparent than now, when you're barely able to touch the cushion below.

"Need you," you pant against the skin above the mask. Stubble crests over his cheek, and chaps your lips. "Need you so bad, Simon—"

"Fuck, pet," he breathes, ragged and harsh. His hands are brands on your flesh, pulling you closer, and closer, and yet—at the same time—keeping you at bay. "Would you have been this desperate for him?"

No. Not at all. You haven't been driven to the brink for a man since Simon. No one has ever burrowed deep under your skin until you were itching at the dermis so hard, it broke. It ripped. And the bloodied tatters that remained still weren't enough to quench the burn.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

His snarl is muffled behind the mask, but you feel the bite of it when his hands clench around your hips, jerking you forward until your cunt is nestled on his hard bulge.

"Gonna fuck you, now."

The words are ground down to the marrow; stripped and pulverised into dust when they slip through. Broken bones, fragmented ash—he blows the smoke of them into your face until you're reeling from the way they shred your throat and lungs when you breathe them in.

There is no finesse in the way you tug your panties off, letting them dangle around your ankle. Or the way he shoves his boxers down enough to free his cock.

It's quick. Dirty.

Simon has been rough in the past—often leaving you feeling like the victor of a well-fought war—but that always came after what felt like hours of foreplay. His face buried in your cunt. His fingers slowly stretching you for his cock.

This—

This feels desperate. It feels unhinged and raw. All his meticulous self-control catches fire in front of you until your skin blisters with the heat of it.

His fingers slip under the mask for a moment, and when he carefully pulls them free, they're covered in spittle.

No lube, no prep—

His thick fingers are on your cunt, slick and wet from his saliva, and they sink inside of you. One right to the last knuckle. Another joins. The stretch makes your toes curl. Makes you drop your head to his shoulder as he works in the third. The lewd sounds of your pussy being hurriedly fucked open by his fingers, palm digging into your clit, makes you burn.

It's not enough, but you look down and feel desire bloom at the sight of him—his cock is leaking prespend all over your mound, jerking against your belly with each quick thrust of his fingers within you. He pulls his hand away, and smears the wetness across his cock before gripping the base.

Your eyes are fixed on the pearlescent beads on the fat head, gathering in a thick, milky pool before rolling down the side. It gathers at the clinch of hi thumb and forefinger. Your mouth waters at the sight.

"Lemme suck your cock after," you slur; it comes out as barely more than a whimper. "Need to taste you—"

His cock jerks in his hold, spitting more prespend down the length of him.

"Fuckin' hell, pretty thing," he rasps, dragging your hips closer until your cunt is pressed taut against him. The drag of his flared head between your folds makes you keen low in your throat. "You won't even get a chance, pet. If you think I'm pulling out of this tight pussy at all tonight, you're wrong."

It's not a warning, but it's all he gives before his hand grips himself tight, the other clasped around your waist. His urgency bleeds through when his hips lift off the bed.

It's always an arduous undertaking whenever he sits you in his lap, and slowly feeds the entirety of his thick cock into your quivering body. Sometimes, nearly driven delirious from the intense pleasure-pain that pools in your core, you whisper into his ear that he's going to ruin you, break you down the centre.

You'll snap me in half, you whimper.

His response is to force more of himself into your body until you gag on the words in your throat, choke on your spit.

"I want to," he hisses; water doused on flaming coal. The grit of his voice is saturated in sin, and the sound makes your eyes roll. "Wanna break you open until nothin' fits inside this pretty cunt but me."

"You'd ruin me for everyone else, Simon? That's not fair��"

Your words make him groan, make him grasp your hips, fingers digging into the swell of your ass. He pulls you down onto him until he's swallowed whole. The air is punched from your lungs. You feel the throb of him in your esophagus. Broken, then, by this man. This untouchable, unattainable being.

"Fuck—," little hiccups spill from your throat. Your head is a slurry of want want want want and too much too full too big. You can't take him. You needed more foreplay. To be stretched around three fingers until you could fit him soundly.

This—

This feels a little bit like a punishment.

"Fuckin' hell," he rasps into your neck. "Wouldn't know what to do with this little cunt if he had it."

"And you do?"

His answer is to plant his feet on the ground and drive the length of him into you. A battering ram to your core. There is a white-hot pleasure burning through your core. It leaks into your marrow until you're heavy with the weight of it.

He helps you along. Hands gripped tight to your hips, he lifts you up off of his cock, and lowers you down with a fervour that leaves you quaking.

It's not so much as riding him, but being battered by a hurricane. All you can do is cling to him—arms wrapped tight around his neck, thighs shaking as you struggle to keep up with his brutal pace. Your forehead falls, rests against his shoulder, and you moan brokenly into the seam between your bodies.

It feels a little bit like possession. The flavour of a claim, ownership lingers in the air; it's heavy on your tongue, in your chest. But he's not the type of man to do that, is he? Distance. Separation.

Something like that is far too intimate for a man who shouldn't exist.

Even so—

Each blunt grind of his cock inside of you has milky pleasure blooming inside of you. His hard grip is tight enough to bruise, and when he digs his fingers into your flesh, you wonder if it's intentional. If he wants you stained and broken by the time he's finished.

No condom, either. It's rare that you go without one, despite being on birth control. He'd only ever lost it enough to forgo the contraceptive when he was injured, when his hand would press to his side each time he moved. The mask covered it up, but you saw the red in his eyes when he shifted.

You took advantage of his weakened state—lemme take care of you, Simon—and finally (finally) got a taste of his cock. His hips rutted into your mouth, and the noises that spilled out of him were obscene. You swallowed every drop while he heaved on the couch, forearm thrown across his forehead, eyes wide and red and looking at you in a way that made your toes curl. It was—

Magma. Melted rock. Soft, molten, and—

He passed out after. You cleaned up while he slept. It was the first time you'd ever seen him slumber, but despite the itch to look, to see, you kept your distance. A throw was tossed on him gently, a bottle of water left on the coffee table. You grabbed a book from the shelf, curled up on the chaise near the window, and watched the lour gloom of London under a deluge.

(London, you find, is always prettier when it storms.)

He woke up hours later to the smell of lamb soup.

His voice was a husk: a charred log. He pulled you down on the couch with him, back pressed to his front, and he'd taken you then. His arm draped over your collarbones, forearm tucked under your chin; his other hand gripped your thigh, keeping you open for him as he rutted inside of you. Delirious, perhaps, from the pain. From the uncomfortable, dangerous, vulnerability he showed you. It didn't feel distant when he pulled you into him, eyes murky bogs in the middle of a barren forest. It felt—

Stripped. Raw and naked and somehow virginal despite the heavy pants of pleasure in your ear, muffled by the mask that had not moved at all since his head dropped on the armrest behind, and he woke up to a porcelain bowl of cawl on the table.

The bare grind of his cock inside of you should negate the purity in the act but somehow, somehow, it feels more innocent than anything else you'd experienced before.

He came inside of you, a wrecked groan reverberating in your ear as he squeezed you tight to his body, and made you take every drop.

No words were exchanged. You ate cawl on the couch and tried to pretend you didn't see the hungry look in his eyes when you caught his gaze on the pearlescent smear staining your thighs.

(Each time after that, he wore a condom.)

Until now.

You can feel him pulsing in your throat. It feels more intimate—hurried and rushed as it: your thighs spread over his, his cock buried deep inside you, chest pressed against yours. There is nowhere for you to turn, to hide, except to burrow your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the ozone scent of him. Gunpowder. Pyrolysis. Sulphur. Smoke. It sits heavy in your lungs.

"F—fuck, Simon," you mewl, fingers clawing at the fabric of his sweater. You need something to hold on to, to keep you grounded amid the battering of his hips.

"Yeah, pet," he breathes, his hands gripping you tighter as he ruts into you. His cock grinds against something inside of you that has you seeing white. "You like that don't you? Like my cock inside of you. You're desperate for it, aren't you?"

There is no room for words in your esophagus when you can feel the blunt press of his head bludgeoning into your sternum. All you can do is work yourself against the brutal onslaught of him driving his hips, his cock, into you from below. There is no stability for you to find purchase, and give back just as much as you take, but Simon doesn't seem to want that. Not right now.

He fucks into you, barely able to pull the full length of him out of your drenched pussy, and seems find pleasure in grinding against your core in deep, short strokes that leave you chasing Ursa Major in the Magellanic cloud that spools in your head.

Each thrust leaves you trembling, legs quaking as he knocks against a place inside that makes your back arch; making liquid euphoria brim in your veins.

Fucking Simon with an abundance of prep rides that perfect equilibrium of pleasure and pain. This—

This feels like it might wreck you. Your cunt is stretched wide around the base of him, pulled taut as he digs his heels into your worn, stained carpet and drives himself into you like he's trying to split you in half, and take refuge in your womb.

The sounds that spill out, filling the room, make you feel like you're floating. From the seal of your sopping pussy and the lewd squelch of him sliding against your walls; the deep, ruined moans that drip from your mouth; the deep, hoarse groans he makes that has your belly quivering—it has your fingers digging into his shoulders, clenched around tense muscles.

"Fuckin' hell—," his head tips back when your knee slips, bringing your pelvis closer to his groin. "This cunt was made for me, wasn't it? All mine—"

Stubble grazes your nose when you press your lips to the silver of skin exposed on his jugular. Teeth catch on the coarse hair, skin drawn between them. Capillaries burst under your tongue, flooding his flesh a bright red, then a deep purple. The perfect impression of your teeth—

"Fuck—!" He snarls, hands pulling you closer to him as he jerks within you.

Simon knocks the thoughts from your head when he spears his cock inside of you. It's rough, raw. The pain that blooms in your core when he chevies into the seal of your womb as you see a supernova behind your eyelids. The explosion of energy. Each synapse inside of your head buzzes with the force of it.

"C'mon, pretty thing," he husks; the roar of the ocean upwelling on the land. You taste salt on your tongue when you pant, moaning his name into his sweat-slicked neck. He tastes of iodine. "I want you to cum on my cock, pet. I need to feel your cunt squeeze me tight—"

It pulls on the thread keeping the deluge from spilling over. The seams split; the levee cracks. It wells inside of your core, each plunge pushing you further and further to the edge of that roaring precipice. Standing on the ledge of a cliff, eyes pointed down at the black water that slams against the granite, frothing and angry. It sprays mist from the vitriolic sea. Arsenic white. It crests over you. His grunt in your ear. His hands tighten until you feel bruises bloom under the tips of his fingers. The chossy cracks. The rocks tumble. Your feet slip—

It's familiar, this. Everything about him makes you feel like you're falling, and this—this—is no different. A leap. A drop. Your feet hit the water first.

It happens all at once; crashing over you like a rogue wave. Swallowed whole. Sucked under.

Knees scrape the murky sediment below. You babble in his neck about how good his cock feels inside of you; hiccuping stupidly at the absurd stretch of him, how big he is, and—shyly, tentatively—how much you missed this, missing feeling him inside of you, tasting him on your tongue.

It punches a snarl from his throat; ripped and raw on the barbed wire lining his jugular. It drips blood when he bites into it, fingers cutting into your skin to stem the ache in his voice from leaking out.

(Things are only real when whispered out loud.)

He pulses inside of you, head tilts back as he groans with his release.

These soft moments nearly ruin you: when his hands clench around your waist, paroxysms of pleasure hard enough to bruise; his chest expanding with his deep breaths, brushing yours with each inhale; the heat spuming inside of you. The noises he makes. The way his brow pinches together when he cums.

Your eyes fall on the column of his neck, tracing a bead of sweat slipping down from the humid mask, over the bluish mark you left on his skin, to where it pools in the indent of his collarbone. His throat bobs. You watch it all.

He's never more real than in these moments, you find.

You think of object permanence, and sink your teeth into the raw ring around his neck.

Simon shudders under you. "Fuckin' hell, pet—;" is a gravel-rucked rasp from his chest. He swallows again. "You tryin' to go for the jugular next?"

He doesn't wait for an answer. His arms tighten around you, locking you to his chest. You throb around the softening length of him, pulsing like a heartbeat. Brassbound bliss is thick around your neck; heavy iron pulling you down.

The cosmos spits you out, and gravity drags you home until you're centred; surrounded by the scent of sweat, sex, and the cloying tang of Simon—warm milk, wet nickles, and clove. Your nose brushes the hem of his mask, and you catch the frenetic headiness of Ghost. Warzone. Gunpowder. Ichor. Your tongue flicks out, catches the sulphur on his skin.

You feel his feet shift, his thigh flex.

Hold on tight, pet. It's the only warning you get before his hands curl under your knees, locking you to his chest, and he stands.

The power in his muscles is dizzying, intoxicating. He hefts you into his arms with an ease that makes your head swim. All the liquid inside shifts as he moves. A vertiginous wave washes over you.

You feel so small in his arms. So fragile, breakable. He holds you tight to his chest, hands ironclad on your thighs, and huffs when you giggle in his ear about how strong he is. How big and tough, and powerful Ghost is.

"Ghost ain't the one still buried deep inside of you, pet." He mutters into your temple, words slurred, hushed. They're almost drowned out by the cheers spilling from the speakers, and you wonder if he even meant for you to hear them.

You duck your head, nuzzling your nose into his throat. "M'tired. Take me to bed, Simon."

"Gladly."

It's a short walk from your living room to your bedroom, and he knocks the door open with the flat of his foot. He takes a moment before stepping through the threshold, eyes darting around your bedroom briefly. Hyper-vigilant. Always. This never changes even if he's in your flat or walking into the communal kitchen a whole sea away.

It takes him two steps to reach your bed. He doesn't bother with the lights.

He lays you on the cold bed, hovering over you with eyes like Orion. You think you find Betelgeuse in the far reaches of those unfathomable depths.

"You're pretty," you slur, stupidly, dizzily. You're not drunk—not really —but you're intoxicated by this, by him. His scent in your nose, his taste on your tongue, his weight pushing you down into the soft sheets—his cock inside of you still, twitching when you speak. It makes you giggle—robust and bubbly—and babble about the stars in his eyes, and heaven in his touch. "Your eyes are so—"

He huffs, those pretty eyes rolling at you. "Haven't even seen me without the mask, pet—"

"Don't care."

"No? What if I was ugly?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Scarred up?"

You shrug.

Another huff, deeper this time. His head drops, forehead pressing against your temple. You can feel the vibration through your bones when he rests his chest on yours, and murmurs your name low. Ashes and embers. Smoke is thick in your nose.

"You're clingy when you're drunk."

"Says the one who hasn't let go of me since I sat on your cock—"

His hips grind against yours, and the cheeky tone dies off in a whimper.

"That's what I thought."

"No fair," you pant, arching your back under him. Your legs tighten around his waist. "You can't just abuse me with your dick to shut me up. You know it's my weakness."

"If it works…"

"You're a terrible man."

"Never said I wasn't, and anyone who says otherwise is lying."

Your hands slide up his shoulders, and you feel something sour twist inside of you when he tenses as you glide over his bare skin. Your nails graze his scalp, fingers threading through his moussed locks. He shudders at your touch.

"Guess I'm a liar, then," you fit your cheek against his, murmuring in his ear. Quiet, low. The ghost of a whisper.

His voice is tight when he speaks. Airy, light. It's as soft as you'd ever heard him. "Guess so, pet."

His arms tighten around you, holding you just a little bit closer. It's almost cruel how he holds you close to his chest like this. Like you're something to be protected, to be shielded.

(Humans are greedy things by nature.

How can he expect you not to want when he gives you moments like these to cling to?)

He doesn't stay long. Two nights watching football on your couch, drinking tea, and feigning obliviousness to the crack in the foundation that lingers between you. The intimacy is startlingly easy to fall into; he sleeps (really sleeps; his eyes closed, soft snores spilling out from behind the mask), relaxes around you in a way that makes you distinctly aware, now, of how tense he was before.

(And yet—he still came.)

There is no confession to be had over cawl or the roast dinner you make before he leaves, leftovers tucked inside his backpack when he isn't looking, left there for whatever endeavour he was going on next. You can't imagine they have many homemade meals.

You don't even really know what he wants from this, what he expects, except that it's happening. He's here, and that—

That's enough.

You're greedy, always will be, but there's a dissonance inside of your chest, balmed by the tinge of green in those obsidian depths when you spoke of going home with another man. The acrid taste of his ire feels more poignant than any words could offer.

A man of action.

(And action comes often in his life.)

He calls you—for the first time in four years, somewhere overseas—and the sound of his voice in your ear has you grinning stupidly in the solitude of your bedroom.

"Did I wake you?"

"Wasn't sleeping."

It's quiet. Through the static, you can almost make out the chitter of insects native to whichever place they called him to. You think about filling in the gap, but there is a breath. A shift. Then: "me, too. Wondered what you were up to."

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Pet—"

"Thinking of you."

Silence again. His breath is white noise on the line. "I'll be—;" he pauses, inhaling once more: "—back soon. No promises."

"No, never," you smile. "Bring me a souvenir."

"All I have are heads, pet."

"How romantic."

"Never been much of one."

"I guess I could redecorate. Macabre-chic. "

He huffs. You wonder if it's a chuckle. "Would start to smell, wouldn't it?"

"Not much worse than you after a mission, surely."

"You—"

"Kinda miss it, though."

He says nothing. You catch the grainy inhale. The forceful exhale.

"Not much to miss."

"There's lots."

"There ain't."

"If you say so. Still do, though." You let it sit for a moment; a tender glimmer of raw vulnerability—the flavour he runs from. It brims. Your mother taught you that it was best to let things simmer. "It's been raining like crazy in London. Kinda reminds me of Wales."

"What do you call a sheep tied to a fence in Wales?"

"Do I want to know?"

"A leisure centre."

You nip your chuckle at the root, feigning exasperation instead. "You can do better than that."

"What do you call a soldier that survived mustard gas and pepper spray?"

"What?"

"A seasoned veteran."

Your huff trails off into silence. It's palpable, thick, but it isn't uncomfortable. It reminds you of the softness of night when you're supposed to be quiet. When you tiptoe around with a gingerness to avoid a raucous. Anything over a certain decibel is off-limits. It's not a rule. It isn't written down. But you follow it, anyway.

In that gloam when the sun sets over the horizon, and night settles like a blanket, you whisper:

Make sure those heads come home safe.

The sheets rustle. Something in the distance shatters.

He sucks in a breath. "I should go, pet."

It's as much of a promise as he'll ever make.

In the sticky gossamer of sleep, you feel something brush over your temple. A soft smear of warmth; transient and fleeting. The fluttering wings of a magpie.

It leaves before you can sink into its weight.

When you wake the next morning, the room smells of rust and gunpowder.

(No heads, but you find a whittled sheep on the pillow beside you.)

You open the cupboard above the vanity, reach for your toothbrush, and—

Oh.

A slow, soft smile crests over your lips, cheeks flushing under the jaundiced light.

Inside the solitary holder, another brush has taken residence beside yours. You stare at the two brushes in the rusting cup, heart thudding in your chest.

#simon riley x you #simon riley fanfic #simon riley #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #this is about as domestic as i can make ghost #simon riley cod #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty

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mommytauriel · 1 year

Text

+ · 。~ they don’t know about us

pairing: sihtric x f! reader | genre: secret relationship, fluff, tiny bit of angst? | warnings: blood, cursing, just the normal tlk warnings, kissing, kinda suggestive at one point? (Idk) | wc: 15k+ |

synopsis: “they can’t know about us” a look into sihtric and uhtred’s sister, secret relationship and how they started and how they are now.

note: this fic was me getting back into writing, so that’s my excuse if this is terrible. I had an idea for it, and it went a whole different way and turned out longer than it was supposed to be. I do hope you enjoy it <3 My requests are open!

thank you @dailytlk for letting me use the the lovely gifs <3

You couldn't remember or pinpoint a certain moment when you realized you had feelings for him. Maybe it was when you started noticing that your eyes would always try to find him, or the tension filled eye contact that would leave you breathless. Or the way your cheeks would burn red when he would offer to braid your hair for you.

Sihtric was so charming. The small things he would do for you, the way he would step closer to you if he sensed danger, or the way he would always have you sit closest to the fire so you would be warmer.

He wasn't always like that though, he used to be distant, awkward. And he would try to not be alone with you, even though that's all he wanted. You couldn't blame him though, the first few days of knowing each other weren't the best for a first impression.

From him being with the group of danes that tried to kill you and your brother, to him being your brother's prisoner, then being one of your brothers' men. It was all too confusing and happened too fast. So, you didn't blame him when Sihtric kept his distance and avoided you.

You wouldn't admit it aloud, but it did hurt a little. When he did avoid you. You had seen him become close with Clapa, and even Hild. You weren't mean or sent him dirty looks like Halig did, so you wondered why he didn't try with you. He wasn't rude to you or anything, he just seemed to have no interest in you. And that hurt.

But you were totally wrong. He did have interest in you; maybe a little too much because he would catch his eyes following after you and it also didn't help that you seemed to fill up his thoughts and it made him nervous, he barely knew you. So why did he think of you so much?

Was it because he felt guilty for what he had done? Or was it something more? Whatever the reason was…He didn't know it.

He very much had interest in you, but he just didn't know where the two of you stood. Hild was nice and was quick to forget and forgive what happened. Clapa was easy going and called him tiny dane. Halig didn't like him, and he knew it, Halig made it obvious, and he was okay with that because at least he knew where he stood with them. But with you, he knew nothing.

You had no idea of his conflicting thoughts, you just assumed that he didn't like you. And he assumed that you wanted nothing to do with him after what he's done. God you both were so wrong.

The two of you walked on unknown ground around each other for the first days of knowing each other. You wanted to talk to him, but you didn't have near enough courage to do so and Sihtric was avoiding you to the best of his ability. And he was doing a great job until Halig told you and him to go back and warn Uhtred about the brothers, Sigefrid and Erik.

That was the first time the two of you talked. It was a few words, but it still left a long-lasting impression. You could remember it, like it was yesterday.

The two of you were quietly but quickly walking towards the camp you were staying at. Sihtric was focused on making sure the two of you aren't being followed and you were focused on the…the trees? Okay you weren't focused on anything; you were in fact internally panicking because the two of you were alone.

You had to stop yourself from glancing at him after the third time you tilted your head to look at him. You weren't the most discreet person, and you were afraid that he would notice if you didnt stop. You were walking side by side with some distance between you, but not too much distance. Sihtric wanted to be close to you if something had happened.

“I hope you don't feel offended by Halig’s words, he's normally not like that” you say quietly but loud enough for him to hear you. You tilted your head to look at him before quickly facing forward to watch in front of you.

“It's no problem My lady, I find it amusing” He replies as he looks away from the trees, he was watching to give you a polite smile. He was grateful that you broke the silence because he had no idea how he would have done it, in all honesty he probably wouldn't have.

“Oh i..i'm not a Lady" you say with a shy smile as you stumble over your words. You have been called a lady many times. But it felt different when he said it, it just rolled from his tongue so nicely and you couldn't help but feel flustered at the way he said, ‘My lady’.

“Your brother is a lord is he not” he states smoothly, with a cheeky grin.

You didn't respond to that. Instead, you looked ahead of you, a blush on your face. A blush that Sihtric was quick to notice. He couldn't help but feel proud that he could make you feel flustered so easily. Maybe now he had a small idea on where the two of you stand.

The rest of the walk was silent, not one minute of it being awkward.

The next few days the two of you didn't get a chance to talk much. He was too busy doing things for your brother and you were almost always at your brother's side. So that didn't leave much time for you to talk. And you wouldn't dare talk to Sihtric in front of your brother, he was way too protective and would assume things.

So that left you two to have longing stares, shy smiles. Well shy smiles on your part and cheeky grins on his. His stares would leave you flustered, something that Lady Gisela was quick to notice and quick to tease you about.

The next time the two of you talked was one of the worst days of your life. You were filled with fear and your hands were shaking, But Sihtric was there to help you. He was always there for you.

You were sleeping peacefully in the surprisingly comfortable bed in the inn you were staying in, In Eoferwic. You were tired from the long day you had yesterday, so you fell asleep almost immediately when you layed down.

You woke up in a jolt at the sound of loud footsteps, shouting and the sound of someone being dragged. You quickly toss the sheets off and grab your sword from the nightstand before rushing out of your room, out of the inn and into the streets of Eoferwic following the sound of shouting.

It led you to the front of Eoferwic and the sight in front of you made your heart drop in fear. It was your brother and Halig being pushed into a cage. Your grip on your sword tightens and you move to rush forward and help them, but you're pulled back by someone wrapping their arm around your waist and pulling you into their chest.

“Shh lady we can't help them if you're taken too” Sihtric whispers in your ear and at the sound of his voice you stop pushing against his arm and let him pull you back and out of sight. You wanted to go out there and help them, but Sihtric was right, you could only make it worse for them and yourself.

So, all you could do was lean back against his chest and watch your brother and Halig being sold away as slaves with tears in your eyes. When your brother started shouting that's when it broke you. You quickly turned around and hid your face in Sihtric’s chest as you let your tears fall freely. Your tears falling faster when you felt Sihtric hold you tighter and start whispering that it would be okay in your ear.

You stand in the streets for a few more moments before Sihtric pulls you away and into your room in the inn. You just let him pull you away, not fighting against it. When you get into your room you step away and wipe at your tears, embarrassed to have cried in front of him. Sihtric locks the door behind him, and you grab the chair from the small table and shove it under the door handle for extra protection.

You stood there in shock for a few moments, trying to process everything that just happened. Your thoughts raced a mile a minute, your heart started to feel heavy, and your tears came back. You were scared. Sihtric was quick to pick on the terrified expression on your face.

“Please dont panic y/n, you need to calm down” he says softly as he brings you back into his arms. You froze at first but then let yourself relax in his arms, resting your head on his shoulder. The both of you stood there for a few minutes, you calm down you're breathing and him rubbing your back.

As much as you wanted to stay in his arms you couldn't. You quickly pull away and turn your back to him as you grab your leather bag, stuffing all of your things that were around the room in it, in fast movements.

“We can't stay here Sihtric, we could be next” you tell him in rushed words, your voice cracking in the beginning from crying. Your hands were shaking as you tried to stuff one of your shirts in your bag and Sihtric noticed. He moved closer to you and pulled your hands into his, making you turn to look at him.

“We have to be smart about this y/n” he says softly but still sternly as he rubbed his thumbs over the top of your shaking hands. His hands were warm, and rough but smooth at the same time. Was that even possible? You could feel the veins on his hands, and you were sure that it would bring a blush to your cheeks if they weren't already red from your tears.

Your eyes slowly look away from his hands as they travel up to his strong forearms and to his necklace of thor's hammer. Your eyes lingered on the hammer for a few moments before they drifted up, where you locked eyes with his beautiful brown eyes.

You wanted to look away, telling yourself that it wasn't the time to be getting lost in his enchanting eyes. But you couldn't seem to look away, And neither could he. Sadly, the tension filled eye contact was broken by the sound of someone knocking on the door.

You immediately step away from the door and reach for your sword that was on the unmade bed. Sihtric quickly pulls out his ax, glancing at you before stepping closer to the door.

“It's Hild” A voice says from the other side of the door, and you immediately recognize the voice. You urgently move from behind Sihtric’s protective stance and pull the chair from under the door, your now still hands unlocking the door before throwing it open.

You let out a sigh of relief at the sight of Hild in front of you, quickly pulling her into the room; that felt hot from the actions moments before, before shutting and locking it behind her.

She had immediately brought you in her arms and explained to you what had happened and what to do next. She was going to ride to Winchester, To King Alfred hoping to get help to free your brother and Halig. And you…you were going to stay put.

You immediately refused saying that you should join her, that you couldn't stay. You feared what King Guthred would do to you too. You were shocked that she would ever suggest a thing, but what she said next shocked you even more. King Guthred said that you would still be safe here and have a room in the inn and that no harm would be brought to you. As long as you don't cause any trouble.

You of course refused. He was only saying that because he probably felt guilty for what he had done. How were you supposed to trust his words after all he had done? Hild tried to convince you more, but you didn't listen. But then Sihtric had to open up his pretty mouth ‘Its smart, we could get information from the inside.’

You and Sihtric ended up staying in Eoferwic.

The next time you saw hild was a week and half later when she rode back to Eoferwic, and she wasn't alone. She was joined by a few men, The King's warrior Steapa and your eldest brother. Ragnar Ragnarson.

You were standing next to sihtric, the two of you were in the small market looking at the tables that had random things on them. You didn't want to leave your room at the inn, you wanted to stay in, still fearful after what had happened. But Sihtric asked for you to come out of the room, he thought it would be good for you.

You were smiling at some of the necklaces that were on the table as you admired them and Sihtric was smiling at you, happy to see your smile again. He was about to offer to get you the flower pendant necklace you couldn't seem to take your eyes off, but stops when he hears the sounds of approaching horses.

You carefully set down the necklace and turn around to see who was coming, absentmindedly stepping closer to Sihtric who stood in front of you. You stepped closer to him so you could see who was coming, your hand softly gripping onto his forearm.

But you drop your hand from his arm in shock when you see who it was. It was Hild, Steapa and your big brother Ragnar. The sight of your big brother almost bringing tears to your eyes. You missed him so much and you didn't know you would see him again after hearing that he and Brida were prisoners to king Alfred.

Your eyes followed him as he continued riding out of your sight. You bring your hand up to grab Sihtrics arm as you pull him to follow you so you could get a better look at your brother. You were closer but made sure that you were still out of sight. You were so caught up with the sight of your brother you didn't notice Sihtric snatch an apple as he followed after you.

You wanted to step closer to get a better look of your brother but Sihtric softly pulled you back with a shake of the head. You frown but stay where you are, watching your brother's side profile with a sad smile, he looked healthy, not sickly like he was in the nightmares you had gotten.

“What are you doing?” You asked in a whisper when you noticed Sihtric stuffing the note that Lady Gisela had given the two of you to give to Hild, in the apple. Sihtric hands you the slice of apple he cut off and you take it while watching him with curiosity as you eat the slice.

“Well we can’t exactly walk up and give it to her, can we?” He says with a small smirk before turning around and waving over a young girl. You greet the young girl with a smile, watching as Sihtric bends down to her height and asks her to deliver the apple to Hild. The young girl nods with a smile and makes her way to give it to Hild.

“That was a smart idea” You compliment him, giving him a small smile before turning your head to look at your brother. Sihtric watches your side profile, he could tell how much you've missed your brother, how much you miss all of your siblings. When Hild got the apple she turned her head, where she saw the two of you, she gave you a small nod before looking forward.

Before you knew it the conversation was over and they were turning around on their horses and leaving, all you wanted to do was go and run to your brother, but you couldn't. You couldn't be seen with him. So you just watched them go with sad eyes, praying to the gods that they would find your brother and Halig and come back to get you soon but you knew it would be awhile until you see them again.

The first three months were hard. You were still suffering from the fact that your brother Uhtred was gone. You feared what was happening to him, your imagination ran wild and it tormented you in the night, causing you to have nightmares. Some nights you would wake up to the sound of your own cries or you would be woken up by Sihtric who heard you from the room over.

It got to the point where you were barely sleeping, you were scared from your nightmares and still scared that something was going to happen to you or Sihtric. The paranoia was the worst. Sihtric was worried for you so he tried to get you outside of the room as much as he could. But the stares of the village people and the paranoia you had made it less pleasant.

You were thankful for sihtric because even though the two of you still had your awkward moments and time filled was silence, he was still there for you. He was there to wake you up from your nightmares. He was there to sit next to you and try to comfort you the best he could as you cried for your family.

You were embarrassed at first, that he saw you in such a vulnerable position. You hated crying and you hated when someone saw you cry, hell you didn't even let your brothers see you cry. But with him it was different, he didn't make you feel silly or looked at you in pity. He was just simply there.

By the Fourth month Sihtric moved into your room. Your nightmares had gotten worse and Sihtric wanted to be close to you if anything happened, and it put your mind at ease a little. Knowing that you weren't alone. He claimed that he was fine with sleeping on your floor, he said that he's slept in worse conditions but it didn't make you feel better.

It was two weeks into him sleeping on your floor when you noticed that he also wasn't getting much sleep. You at first thought it was because of your nightmares, but it couldn't be that. You barely had them now that he was with you, his presence really helped. You then realized it was the floor. And after having a very awkward conversation that left the two of you with flushed cheeks, you decided it was best to just share the bed.

You remember how the first night was, it was very awkward.

You folded your arms over the blanket as you laid on your back, looking up at the ceiling. Hoping to find something to focus on instead of the fact that you're about to share a bed with Sihtric. The bed wasn't small, but it wasn't big. It would fit the two of you perfectly where you didn't have to worry about touching if you both stayed on your own side.

You looked away from the ceiling when you felt the bed dip and the covers move alerting you that Sihtric layed down. You had no idea if you should look at him or not, you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable but you had a feeling he would feel that regardless.

You almost immediately felt the warmth of his body spread under the sheets. Your mind wandering to the thought of what it would feel like if he kept you warm during winter, his arms around you. You had to dig your nails in your palm to make you stop thinking about it before it went too far. You internally prayed that he wouldn't notice the flush on your face from your provocative thoughts. And if he did, you would just blame it on being warm.

You licked your suddenly dry lips and slowly tilted your head to the left to look at his side profile. Sihtric was also laying on his back, his arms also folded over the blanket, his eyes were closed and his face looked relaxed but you could tell from his tense posture he was everything but relaxed.

His hair was still braided; you have never seen him without it braided. Your eyes looked over his face, your eyes lingering on the scars on his face before looking down towards his neck tattoo. You didn't have a tattoo, when you were younger you witnessed your brother Ragnar getting one and you didn't like the sight at all. It was one of the few times you've seen your older brother shed a tear. You wondered if Sihtric cried when he got his. You liked Sihtrics tattoo, it looked good on him.

You brought your eyes back to his face only to lock eyes with his. Your eyes widen and you quickly look away from him and back to the ceiling, biting your lip in embarrassment because he caught you staring at him, well more like checking him out. The air suddenly seemed thicker in the room and you internally cursed at yourself for offering to share the bed. You waited for a few moments and Sihtric didn't say anything, and you were thankful because you didn't think you could form any proper words at the moment.

You turned to your left, laying on your side to lean over to the side table to blow out the candle with a soft blow. You decide not to return to laying on your back, you had hoped laying on your side would put some distance between the two of you. You move your hands under your cheek as you stare out into the dark room. The only sound you could hear was your own heartbeat and the occasional sound from outside.

“Goodnight Sihtric” you say quietly.

“Goodnight” His smooth voice broke the silence and seconds later you felt the bed move and the blankets shift letting you know that he also moved to lay on his side.

You quietly sighed and closed your eyes and before you knew it you were lulled to sleep. The first time in four months where you didn’t stress yourself to sleep in the fear of nightmares. Your mind was too occupied with thoughts of the man who laid on the other side of the bed to think of anything else.

It went like that for Two more weeks, the awkward small talk before bed, the shy whispers saying goodnight. The third week was when your first woke up in his arms. You had rolled over in your sleep and nestled into his side.

You woke up first, well rested and warm. You didn't notice at first until you tried to move; your eyes still closed When his arms pulled you closer into his chest. Your legs were entangled and his arms were wrapped around you, and you were panicking. You quietly and carefully freed yourself from his embrace before getting ready. Sihtric woke up confused, he always woke up first. He noticed your shy behavior during the day but didn't say anything.

It happened a lot more during the rest of the month; you waking up in his arms. Sihtric never brought it up though so you wondered if he even noticed. But he did notice and he didn't want to bring it up, he didn't want you to feel bad or uncomfortable. Because he…he liked it. He didn't like physical touch unless he was the one who initiated it. But with you it was different. He felt warm, comfortable, and safe.

It was just something that stayed not talked about. Neither of you seemed to mind it.

The fifth month was when you noticed that you indeed had feelings for Sihtric. Your small talk before bed became long talks of memories or just random things you've never told anyone. His kind actions and words felt different to you, the eye contact the two of you shared felt so much more intense. All awkwardness was gone, you could tell that the two of you were a lot more comfortable around each other.

You were also in a much better mood, your nightmares rarely happened now. The weather was getting colder, it would be winter soon. You loved winter. The stares from people didn't happen as much, they had gotten used to you. One day you and Sihtric went outside the walls of Eoferwic and found a nice field that isn't too far. It wasn't much but it made you happy so Sihtric tried to take you out to that field as much as he could.

You noticed that sihtric was starting to act differently too, he seemed happier. He wasn't quite like he was months ago. The two of you could talk for hours and not seem to get bored. You even noticed yourself starting to miss him even though he was gone for a few hours. You had gotten attached to him and it scared you a little bit.

His presence itself made you happier, the small things he does for you that would make you feel all warm inside, the long talks that you wish could last forever. Your talks before bed were your favorite. The way Sihtric would look at you as you talked, gods it made your heart flutter.

You and Sihtric were laying in bed, both of you on your sides facing each other, you had your hands under your cheek and he was holding his head up on his palm. It was starting to get chilly as winter was approaching, so you had a fire lit in the fireplace, creating a warm and cozy setting.

“So he pushed him in the lake?” Sihtric laughs, as he listens to the story you were telling, trying to picture a young uhtred getting pushed in the lake. But for some reason he just couldn't, he just pictured the uhtred now giving him an intimidating look.

“Ragnar didn't like that uhtred bested him with a sword, so he grabbed him by the back of his tunic and tossed him in” you smiled and laughed quietly at the memory you had of your brothers. You were so much younger, innocent to the pain of losing your family. You wish you could feel that peace again.

Sihtric who was admiring your face noticed how that happy gleam in your eyes faded into sadness. Sihtric moved closer to you, your legs now almost touching. You blinked a few times, clearing your mind from your sad thoughts before looking back at Sihtric, holding your breath when you noticed how close he was.

“You will see your family soon my lady, don't lose hope” He said in a soft tone as he looked into your eyes. He wished he could say more to comfort you, but he didn't know what to say, he didn't know how it feels to miss a sibling, or anyone really.

You let out a shaky breath and offer him a small smile staring into his warm brown eyes, you've decided that his eyes were your favorite thing to look at. “I won't lose hope”

“Tell me more of your childhood” Sihtric says with a smile, he loved hearing the stories you would tell him about your childhood. You smile softly and start telling him about a memory you had with your sister. Sihtric can't help but admire you as you speak fondly of your family.

You stop talking when you notice the look on Sihtric’s face, he was looking at you but he wasn't listening. You couldn't help but feel flustered under his longing gaze. He hadn't noticed the way you noticed him looking at you yet.

“Sihtric, you're not even listening to me” You laugh, leaning towards him absentmindedly. Sihtric blinks a few times trying to clear his mind from his thoughts, before looking back at you. He just now seemed to notice how close the two of you were and he couldn't help but feel flustered himself.

“Yes i am Lady, you were talking about your first horse that Ragnar got for you” He lies with a grin. He knew for a fact that you told that story last night, he just wanted to tease you a little bit.

“I told you that last night” You gasp dramatically as you slap his shoulder playfully, giving him a fake glare. Sihtric laughs when he sees your expression, while others might seem intimidated by your glare he wasn't, he thought it was adorable; which pissed you off of course.

The two of you spent the next few minutes in playful banter, Sihtric just saying things that he knew would annoy you just so he could see your reaction to it. God he loved rilling you up, And you weren't blind to his jests so you just went along with it.

After your playful banter the two of you were lying in bed, enjoying the sound of silence and the sound of the crackling from the fire. You were laying on your back, your eyes closed. Sihtric was still laying on his side as he now admired your side profile.

Sihtric would often find himself overwhelmed with feelings when he thought or looked at you for too long. The feelings he felt for you he never have felt before, It was all new for him. It was confusing but he wasn't complaining…he just hoped you felt the same way.

It was the next night when he made the first move. The two of you were laying in bed, laying closer to each other than usual. The weather was getting colder and Sihtric was as warm as a fire. You were talking and Sihtric was trying to listen but he just couldn't help but to get distracted with his own thoughts as he looked at you.

He was so enchanted with his thoughts of you that he didn't notice how you stopped telling your story or how you leaned closer to him and asked if he was okay. You were a little worried because he seemed distracted and he had this look on his face you didn't recognize.

Sihtric didn't know what came over him, but when he heard you ask if he was okay as you looked up at him with worry in your eyes, he just couldn't stop himself from what happened next. No one has ever looked at him the way you did, or asked if he was okay.

He mumbles a breathy yes and before he could stop himself he was leaning down and capturing your lips with his. It would be an understatement if you said you weren't shocked. You didn't expect it all.

But as soon as you felt his warm lips on yours all those thoughts went away and all you could focus on was him and his lips. The kiss was hesitant and just as you were starting to feel his soft lips touching yours he was already pulling away.

You were slowly opening your eyes to look up at him, even though the kiss was a few seconds it left you breathless and wanting more. The two of you stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, neither of you saying something. His brown eyes looked into your eyes and he searched for a sign to know what you were feeling, But all he saw was an emotionless stare.

He was about to open his mouth to apologize but shuts up when he feels your warm hands softly grip his chin and pull him down and sealing your lips in a desperate kiss. He closes his eyes and kisses you back just as desperately.

Sihtric felt your hand move from his chin and to his nape, only pulling him closer as the kiss heats up. Your chest was warm and you could feel the tingle in your stomach when his hands started to explore your sides, his warm hands sneaking under your shirt and resting on your bare hip.

Sihtric slowly pulled away from your soft lips, his eyes still closed as he rested his forehead on yours. All Sihtric could feel was the blood rushing through his veins and the way your, now sweaty palms were on his nape and the way your warm skin felt under his hands. Sihtric wanted to open his mouth and talk about what just happened but he decided not to. He wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as he could, the feeling he felt at the moment he has never experienced before. And you could say the same.

You lean forward to lock your lips again in an eager kiss. Sihtric hums in surprise at the feeling of your lips on his again, but he was quick to explore your lips. The sound of surprise he made made you grin in the kiss and pull away to laugh. Sihtric smiles and opens his eyes to see you already looking at him. The way you looked at him with such love was the moment where he realized he reached a point of no return. It would never be the way it used to be.

It was the Sixth month when Sihtric officially asked you to be his and him yours. Ever since your first kiss the two of you couldn't leave each other's side. You were happy and didn't want to leave his side, you truly felt happiness with him and you did not want to lose it. Sihtric, gods all he wanted was to be by your side. You made him feel true happiness and gave him the love and attention he always desired for.

It wasn't until the night before he asked you to be his, was when he realized he never asked you. The two of you did coupley things already and you never brought it up to him that the two of you weren't really together. Sihtric could just continue with the way it was but he didn't want to, he wanted to ask you to be his. And he wanted it to be special, you deserved it. He wanted you to have that happiness.

So that night before he asked you, he stayed awake longer as he thought of ideas to ask you to be his. You were already sleeping in his arms, nestled into his side; your body warm all over from his body heat. Sihtric didn't get much sleep that night as he thought of ways to make it special, there wasn't much he could do with where the two of you were and every good idea, he had he would overthink and decide not to do it. That night he ended up tiring himself out with his thoughts and he soon fell asleep. Dreaming of the two of you in a flower field as you basked in the sun, smiles on your faces. That morning he woke up with a smile, he had the perfect idea.

It was one of the colder days so you decided to stay inside. Sihtric took that as his chance to finish his perfect plan. He kissed your forehead before leaving the room. He came back a few hours later.

You were standing at the small table and cutting some bread that you would use for dinner tonight. You were dressed comfortably, well as comfortable you can get. The room was nice and warm, the fire Sihtric lit before leaving was still burning and it created a nice atmosphere.

You were starting to get a little worried as you thought of Sihtric, he has been gone for a few hours and you were starting to let your paranoid thoughts get to you. Was he okay? It's freezing out, is he freezing? Is he hurt? Did someone hurt him?. Should I go find him?

Your paranoid thoughts stop when you hear the door to your room unlock. You turn around to see Sihtric walking in and closing the door behind him. He has one of his arms behind his back and you raise your eyebrow in suspicion. He was giving you a small smile, his fur coat had some snow on it and so did his shoes, you were too distracted wondering what was behind his back to get onto him about getting snow tracks in the room.

“What's behind your back?” You say straightforwardly, tilting your head to the side to get a better look when he steps closer to you. Only to pout when he moves so you won't see.

“It's a surprise,” Sihtric laughs and gives you a small smirk, knowing that you don't like surprises. His smirk turns to a smile when he sees your pout thinking of how cute you look.

“I hate surprises.”

“I know but i think you will like this one…now close your eyes” He says giving you a nod of reassurance not just for you but also for himself. Even though it was cold out his hands were a little sweaty from his nerves. He hopes you like it…and he hopes you say yes.

You give him a look of suspicion if it was anyone else telling you to do this you would tell them to fuck off. But it was Sihtric, and you trusted him. So you close your eyes and your hands move to your sides, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt.

Sihtric lets out a shaky breath, telling himself that it would be fine. He moves his hand to grab yours but stops and looks down at his sweaty hand before rubbing it on his pants with wide eyes, hoping to clean them off. He says some encouraging words in his head before softly grabbing your hand that was on your side; praying that you don't feel how shaky his hands are.

He takes his hand from behind his back and helps you hold onto what he got you. He whispers a gentle open and watches you nervously for your reaction. Your hand tightens on what you're holding and you open your eyes, looking down at what's in your hand. You feel yourself start to feel emotional at the sight, your eyes starting to water.

In your hand was a bouquet of your favorite flowers that grew in that field that Sihtric would take you too, but that wasn't all that was there. In the middle of the bouquet was a wood carving of a flower. It was beautiful and so detailed…you loved it.

Sihtric starts to get worried when he sees you start to tear up worried that he did something wrong but it was the opposite. You have never been given flowers before, you remember seeing your father give your mother flowers when you were younger, you would always smile when you see your mother get so happy. And now here you are receiving them yourself and you couldn't be happier.

“i'm sorry..i understand if you don't lik-”

“I love them” you cut him off.

“I love them Sihtric really, I've never been given flowers…and the carving, it's beautiful” You tell him with a smile on your face as you bring them up to your nose smelling them. Sihtric feels himself calm down from the nervousness and he gives you a genuine smile at your words, happy to be the first man to give you flowers…and hopefully the last.

“I wanted to ask you something”

“You can ask me anything, Sihtric...you know that” The smile you gave him almost made all his worries go away. You looked at him with such adoration that all he wanted to do was step closer to you and lock his lips to yours. Sihtric clears his throat and those thoughts from his head and looks into your eyes.

“Will…Will you be mine?” Sihtric breathed out with a nervous smile. You feel yourself hold your breath as you stare at him. He did all this…just to ask me to be his? You think with a big smile.

You softly set down the bouquet of flowers and the wood flower carving on the table before stepping closer to him and taking his hands in yours. You stare up at him, hoping that you could express all your love you had for him in your eyes.

“ Sihtric, i would love to be yours” You tell him with a grin. Sihtric feels all his worries go away. He breaks out in a huge grin and he wraps his arms around your waist, picking you up and twirling you around in glee. You pat his shoulder and tell him to put you down in between your laughter.

Sihtric lets you down and you don't get a chance to say anything because he's already holding your face and capturing your lips with a fiery kiss that makes you feel as if your legs will give out. You feel yourself getting lost in the kiss as it only gets more heated.

Sihtric eventually pulls away from you so the two of you could catch your breath from the intense kiss that left your lips tingling and knees weak. Sihtric who's still holding your face in his hands stares at you with a grin on his face. “You don't know how happy i am to hear that”

“I guess you will just have to show me then” you tease him as you bring your hands up to rest on his shoulders. Sihtric smirks at your response.

He slowly moves his hands from your face and down your back and to your hips and down to your bum lightly squeezing it. You gasp and slap his arm yelling his name in shock. Sihtric laughs and you soon join in his laughter before he leans down and captures your lips in another kiss. The two of you, feeling nothing but pure happiness and love.

It was the eighth month when you first said I love you aloud. You knew weeks before that you loved him, but you couldn't say it aloud yet, not until the night when the two of you were celebrating yule. There wasn't much that the two of you could do in the town of Eoferwic, but Sihtric tried to make it special for the two of you.

The two of you were sitting on the fur rug in front of the small fireplace, a half full jug of wine that Sihtric may or may have not stolen from King Guthred was on the floor next to the two of you, both of your empty cups next to it.

“Can I open my eyes now?” You ask impatiently, your hands covering your closed eyes. You didn't think it was needed, your hands. But Sihtric had a feeling you would try to peek as he got the gift he got for you. A few minutes earlier you had given Sihtric his gift that you had gotten him. He didn't expect you to give him anything because he's never gotten a gift before.

When Sihtric opened his gift you could tell that he had gotten a little emotional when he opened it, and that made you get a little emotional as well. Sihtric thanked you and gave you a kiss before telling you to close your eyes saying with a smile that it was your turn.

“Not yet” Sihtric says from the other side of the room, you pout and keep your eyes closed as you focus on the sounds. You could hear some things moving around, hinting that Sihtric hid your present very well. And that's what he did, he remembered you telling him a story about when you were a child you would stay up late and search your home for your present, even convincing uhtred into joining you…only to be caught by young ragnar and sent to bed.

“Sihtric, i don't like surprises”

“ You said that the last time, and look how that went” Sihtric teases you, he grabs the small present and makes his way back to you, sitting in front of you, his legs crossed as he looks at you with a small smile. “ You can open your eyes now”

You move your hands from your face and open your eyes, immediately making eye contact with Sihtric. He smiles at you and you look down at his outstretched hand that has a cloth in his hand, used to wrap the gift. You glance up at him before you grab it, he gives you an encouraging nod, and you carefully grab it from his hands.

You carefully unwrap the cloth to see a beautiful necklace, but not just any necklace. It's the flower pendant necklace you would find yourself looking for whenever you went to the small market, it was the necklace you fell in love with months and months ago. You never did find it though when you went back to the market 3 months ago, and this is why. He had gotten it for you.

“How?...How did you know?” You ask quietly, your eyes not leaving the necklace as you continue admiring it. It was such a beautiful necklace and the fact the Sihtric had gotten it made you fall in love with the necklace and him more.

“I noticed you looking at it a few times, So do you like it?” Sihtric smiles when he sees the way you were looking at it. He already knew the answer but he wanted to ask anyway.

“Like?...Sihtric i love it, Thank you” You expressed as you looked at him with a grin on your face. Something inside of you was telling you that tonight would be the night you told him that you loved him. The way he paid attention to you warmed your heart, he noticed things others wouldn't. He made you feel special.

“ I'm glad, here let me help you put it on” Sihtric stands up and moves to sit behind you on the rug. You smile and hand him the necklace before moving your hair to the side. Sihtric sits close to you and he leans even closer, his back was against your chest and you could feel his warm breath on your bare neck.

You feel your breath hitch and your body go still when you feel his warm hands on your nape as he puts it on for you. After he clasps the clasp he rests his warm hands on your shoulders, whispering a ‘there you go’. You tilt your head to look back at him, your face so close to his, you could feel his breath hitting your face.

You didn't get to finish saying thank you before Sihtric was leaning closer to you and capturing your lips with his in a gentle and tender kiss. You felt one of his hands travel up your neck and rest on your cheek as the kiss became more hungry. You could taste the wine on his tongue and you felt yourself wanting to taste it more.

The kiss ended abruptly when Sihtric pulled away from you breathlessly. Your eyes fluttered open as you looked at him in confusion, wondering why he ended the kiss so fast. Maybe it was because he needed some air from the intense kiss when you noticed him trying to catch his breath. To be fair you were also left breathless from the kiss, like always.

“I love you” Sihtric professed as he looked into your eyes, his touch on your cheek not wavering. Sihtric started to worry when all you did was look up at him, you didn't respond right away. He thought that maybe he said it too soon and that you didn't feel the same way but really you were too shocked to say anything.

“You do?” hesitation was in your voice, something that SIhtric was quick to pick up on.

“Y/n i've never loved someone the way i love you” He vowed to you, the sincerity in his voice was clear. You twisted your body so you would be facing him fully. Sihtric gives you a small smile, starting to get nervous. He was really putting himself on the line, he's never told someone he loved them like this. The only love he felt for someone was his mother.

Sihtric is brought out of his thoughts when he feels your soft warm hands move up to hold his face in your hands. You give him a grin and slowly pull him down, locking your lips in a sweet tender kiss, pouring all your love you had for him in it. You slowly pull away, resting your forehead on his. You flutter your eyes open only to see Sihtrics eyes still close as he breathes heavy from the kiss of his life.

“I love you to Sihtric, so much”

He opened his eyes to see you giving him a grin, a grin he couldn't help but mirror. Sihtric was afraid of rejection, but you would never reject him. And now he understood that. He whispers a ‘i love you so fucking much’ before attacking your lips with his in a hungry kiss. You didn't expect it but you were quick to kiss back.

Without separating from the kiss, Sihtric moves his hands down your body and to your crossed legs, he uncrosses them and pulls you forward, wrapping your legs around his waist. You let out a loud gasp from the quick movement, Sihtric smirks before kissing you again. One of his hands moving to hold the back of your head as he gently pushes you to your back laying on the rug, him laying between your legs, his forearm supporting his top weight from fully laying on you.

Sihtric, who was too focused on the fiery kiss and the taste of your lips, didn't notice the half full jug of wine that was too close to his foot. He only noticed when the sound of the jug hit the wood floor and the sound of wine spilling with a loud clang. Sihtric pulls away from the kiss and tilts his head to look behind him. You sigh and sit up leaning back against your elbows giving him a playful disappointed sigh. “Sihtric”

“Who cares i didn't pay for it.”

It's the first month of spring and the ninth month of you and Sihtric being alone in Eoferwic and you were starting to get a little inpatient, something Sihtric noticed right away. He wanted to keep you mind off of things, off your brother who was still not back. So, he would take you out on walks every day, you would visit the flower field as much as you could. He wanted to make sure you were calm and happy. And that brings us to the present.

You were sitting on the floor on the fur rug in front of the unlit fireplace. Sihtric was sitting behind you on a chair, his hands braiding your hair. Ever since you asked him to help you a few weeks ago he found himself offering to do it for you instead. Neither of you minded it, SIhtric liked helping you and you liked it because he was better at it than you…and you liked the way he played with your hair.

Just as he ties your hair off with a thin leather ribbon, your peaceful silence is interrupted by the sound of loud footsteps leading and stopping in front of the door. Your closed eyes open and you immediately look to your door. Sihtric stands up and grabs his ax from the table before walking closer to the door. “I'll open the door”

No one has ever come and bothered the two of you, so you were a little worried from the loud footsteps and the loud knocks. You get up from the floor and grab your sword that was on the table while sihtric hesitantly unlocks and opens the door. You take a small step closer, looking for a sign from sihtric.

“You're not my sister” a deep voice says from the other side of the door, a voice you instantly recognize. You drop your sword and rush to the opened door, softly pushing sihtric away from it to stand in front of your eldest brother. A huge grin spreads over your face when you see him and an almost identical grin on his face.

“Ragnar you don't know how happy i am to see you” You exclaim as you grab his arm to pull him inside of the room, not paying attention to the other person behind him. Ragnar laughs and pulls you into a tight hug, lifting you slightly off of your feet.

Sihtric looks back at the door and sees a tall brown haired woman, she looked very intimidating and cold when they made eye contact, she gave him a stiff nod before looking back at the reunited siblings, a small smile now decorating her face. Sihtric decided then that he would not want to get on her bad side, especially with the amount of daggers strapped to her.

Sihtric fights a smile when he sees you hug your brother. He knew how much you missed him, how much you missed all of your siblings. SIhtric felt as if he knew your siblings personally from all the stories you would tell him about them. He loved the sound of your voice or the way your eyes would brighten as you talked about your family. He hated the frown that would soon follow as you remember that you siblings are nowhere near you. All of them Living in their own hell.

You closed your eyes and let yourself relax in your big brother's arms, you knew you were safe in his embrace. An embrace you missed dearly. You missed him so much, having him here, holding you brought tears to your eyes. Even though you didn't want to get out of your eldest brother's arms you needed answers. So you hesitantly pull away from the hug.

“How did you find me here? Where's hild? Did you find uhtred?” You tremble in fear and worry, your questions coming out in a rushed tone. Your mind was running wild as you thought of every bad outcome that must have happened. You were scared.

“One question at a time little sister” he hushes you. He places his hand on your cheek when he notices you start to panic from your questions. His voice was stern but gentle enough, hoping to sooth you and calm you down from your dangerous thoughts.

“We asked the turd king,” Brida stated plainly answering the first question, She would have Ragnar answer the other questions. At the sound of her voice you look away from Ragnar, to see Brida standing behind him, next to the door. Ragnar lets go of you knowing that you would want to hug her. “Brida” you sputtered out in shock. Brida smiles and opens her arms for a hug.

“I missed you” You whisper to her, your hold on her not loosening. When you saw Ragnar all those months ago you were very worried that something happened to her because she wasn't with him. It was no secret she had a foul mouth and a temper so that just made you worry even more. You had fear that she would have said something to anger the king and have herself killed.

Brida chuckles warmly and holds you tight, not wanting to let go too. While you and Brida were still hugging, Ragnar looks away from the two girls and over to sihtric who was awkwardly standing there quietly watching the exchange. Ragnar looked over sihtric with suspicion in his eyes; he didn't know much about him, only that he was Kjartan’s bastard. Sihtric noticed Ragnar’s look and he felt a chill run down his spine. He felt extremely intimidated by your eldest brother.

“Come little sister, I have to show you something” Ragnar Grins, softly grabbing your arm after you pull away from your hug with Brida. While Ragnar pulled you to the door, Brida took the chance to look around the room, her eyes stopping on the bed. It was obvious that you and sihtric slept in it. Brida smirks and glances at sihtric who was watching you.

“ Wait you didn't answer my questions Ragnar” You gave him a confused look as he basically dragged you out of the room and out of the inn, Brida and sihtric following after the siblings. You were confused…and emotional and a little annoyed that ragnar didn't answer your questions but you still let him drag you outside. But you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw who was standing a few feet from you.

You don't let your mind process the sight before you were already running towards him. The tears were already rolling down your cheeks by the time you threw your arms around his neck. Uhtred hid a wince and despite the pain he felt he hugged you as tight as he could, he never wanted to let go of you again, his little sister.

“I missed you so much, never leave me again” you sniffed, your hold on him not loosening. Hild who was standing next to Uhtred smiles big at the sight, she was so happy to see you two reunite. Ragnar, Brida and sihtric stop a few steps behind you, wanting you and uhtred to have space.

“I missed you too sister” Uhtred said in a comforting tone as he rubbed your back hoping to help stop your tears. Uhtred gave you one more big squeeze before pulling away from the hug, he still kept you at arm's length though. He wanted you close.

“Halig?” You ask in a nervous tone as if you were afraid of the answer. When you didn't see him with your brother you had a feeling that he was no longer with us, you hoped your gut feeling was wrong. But seeing the sad look in your brother's eyes you knew you were right.

“Sister, this is Finan. He was with me and Halig '' He was quick to change the direction of the conversation, not wanting to talk about it more. A pinch of sadness at his heart when he said halig’s name, it was still too painful. You noticed so you didn't say anything else about it.

“It's nice to meet you, Finan, I'm glad to see you with us” You smiled brightly at the man.

“Thank you Lady Y/n, It's nice to meet you as well. Uhtred talked about you all the time” he said with an Irish accent. He gave you a kind smile back. You look back at your brother with a worried look, already thinking about all the embarrassing things he could have told him. Uhtred smirks and hild and Finan laugh at your expression.

“Don't worry lady, it was all good things” Finan laughs as he gives you a charming smile. You could already tell that he would make you laugh many times in the future.

“Good because I would have to kick your ass if it wasn't” You smirk at Uhtred trying to give him an intimidating look but you just make him laugh and cross his arms over his chest.

“You're only saying that because you know my body is weak” Uhtred teases you. You roll your eyes mumbling how that's not true, but everyone knew it was true. Uhtred looks behind you to give his older brother a happy smile, the three of you are reunited again, now you just have to get Thyra back. Uhtreds eyes stop at sihtric who was watching you closely but he quickly looked away from you when he felt eyes on him.

“SIhtric” Uhtred greets sihtric with a small smile. When hild told him that you were still in Eforwich with Sihtric he was worried, But Uhtred was thankful that he stayed here with you, kept you safe. He would have to thank him.

“Lord, it's good to see you well” He said truthfully. It put his mind and heart at ease seeing him standing well in front of them. You would worry so much about uhtred that sihtric couldn't help but worry as well. He was happy because now you would be less stressed and paranoid, now that your brothers are back to you.

You tilt your head to look back at sihtric, you can't stop the smile that spreads over your face at the sight of him. You have been waiting for this moment for so long, to finally be reunited with your brothers again. And you were so happy that sihtric was here to be with you as well, you wouldn't have survived all those months without him.

It was a few hours after your reunion with your brothers. It was already dark outside, and you were sitting between Uhtred and hild at a long table outside. You were enjoying some ale as you listened to everyone start talking about who should keep dunholme. Every so often you would find yourself looking at sihtric who sat at a table nearby, next to Clapa.

You had to stop yourself from smiling every time you locked eyes with him. Your brothers were very observant people so you had to be careful, you didn't want them to find out about you and sihtric…at least not yet. All you had to do was tell sihtric that, and you were dreading it. You hoped that he wouldn't take it the wrong way.

Sihtric noticed something was wrong when you avoided eye contact with him for the third time. He also noticed the small frown on your face, the same frown that would appear on your face whenever you would think about something too hard. The frown didn't last on your face long, you were quick to change it to a small smile, hoping that no one noticed. Especially your brothers, because all they would do is ask you questions.

You tried to pay attention to the conversation again but you stopped when aethelwold started talking. You hated the poor excuse of a man and you had no way near enough patience to listen to him talk. You were happy that your brothers and the others were back, but you had gotten used to your nights being just you and sihtric. You wanted to be curled up in bed with sihtric, or sitting at the table eating and telling each other stories.

You tried to pay attention to the conversations, you really did. But your thoughts were distracting you, something that ragnar noticed. He didn't say anything aloud though, he knew it must be a little overwhelming for you, he didn't know what happened over the months of you being here but he had a feeling it wasn't the easiest for you.

You looked up from your half full cup of ale at the sound of familiar laughter, your eyes immediately went to sihtric who was laughing at whatever Finan was talking about. SIhtric almost immediately notices your stare and he gives you a small smile before looking back at Finan. You looked back down at your cup to hide the way the corners of your lips twitch up to a smile. Even when he wasn't trying he could make you smile.

“Uhtred,” Finan said, getting Uhtred's attention. Finan tilts his head towards King Guthred who's walking towards them.

“Uhtred will you join me please” King Guthred asks with a nervous tone. The silence after his question was filled with tension. You could feel Uhtred tense up beside you and Ragnar was clenching his cup a little too tightly and everyone was looking back and forth from Uhtred to the king, Waiting for an answer.

“Please?” King Guthred asks with a shaky breath. You look at Uhtred to see him staring blankly at the king but when he feels your stare he turns to look at you. You give him a reassuring smile and he sighs but stands up. Squeezing your shoulder softly as he walked past you and towards King Guthred. Everyone's eyes watching the two of them.

Everyone was sitting in silence as they watched the two talk. You were anxiously watching them, you were scared that your brother would do something he wasn't supposed to. And of course just as you think it, he does it. Your eyes widen and you cover your mouth, stopping yourself from laughing when you see uhtred slap king Guthred. That must have been very humiliating for him.

“Uhtred! No!” Father Beocca shouts from behind you as he stands up. Oh no the father is mad.. You think to yourself. You were worried that any second guards would come and take your brother for putting hands on the king but none came, and they continued talking. But not for long because a few minutes later the king was walking away.

Ragnar nods his head at you silently telling you to come with him. You set your cup down and stand up, following Ragnar as he walks towards uhtred. You make eye contact with sihtric as you walk past him, he gives you a small smile and you return it before looking away and standing next to ragnar.

“What did he say?” Ragnar asks as he rests his hands on his hips. Both you and ragnar looked at uhtred, ragnar wanted an answer but you just wanted to make sure he was okay.

“He said Dunholm is yours, brother.” Uhtred says with a blank stare as he turns around to face you and ragnar. You were happy for your oldest brother but you couldn't help but feel worried for uhtred. Before you could voice your thoughts uhtred was already talking.

“Sihtric” Uhtred calls out and you look at him in confusion and watch as sihtric walks towards you, standing next to you. Close but not too close that your brothers would say anything about it. You really fought the urge to reach out and hold his hand, especially when you saw the nervous look on his face.

“Lord?” Sihtric nods his head politely as a greeting.

“You lied to me” Uhtred said emotionlessly as he stepped closer to sihtric. You felt your heart stop for a moment at your brother's words. Too many thoughts immediately going through your mind.

“Lord I-I would never-” Sihtric stuttered as he looked between the three of you, his eyes lingering on you the longest before he looked back at uhtred. You can tell he was slightly panicking. Hell you were also panicking, you had no idea what was going on or what to do.

“You told me dunholm has no weakness, yet last time i was there, I saw a door along the east wall, Access to a water spring” Uhtred informs the three of you. And you watched as the realization hit sihtric’s face. You felt yourself relax a little at what uhtred said, it wasn't too serious.

“Yes, Lord, But..You could never bring an army through it.” Sitric doubted as he stepped closer to uhtred. Uhtred smiles and brings his hand to sihtric’s cheek before resting it on his shoulder and smiling at ragnar.

“I would not be bringing an army,” Uhtred smirked. You glanced at Ragnar to see him smirking too. They had a plan and you trusted them that it was the right one. You looked at sihtric, he wasn't as tense as he was before. Ragnar laughs and throws his arm over Uhtred's shoulder, leading him back to the table as they start talking about a plan, leaving you and sihtric.

Sihtric lets out a shaky breath and he turns to fully face you. You give him a small smile and gently squeeze his hand as you walk away from him. Sihtric smiles and watches you walk away from him and back to your brothers and Brida. Fighting the urge to grab your hand and pull you back to him and kiss you.

You Didn't get a chance to talk to Sihtric until late that night. You were by your brother's side the whole night as they made a plan for taking dunholm, leaving the two of you to send each other small smiles when no one was looking. The longing stares you shared reminded you of the first few days when you guys met.

You had said goodnight to your brothers and Brida and you made your way to you and sihtric’s room, not before making eye contact with sihtric, hoping that he would get the message to join you. Sihtric picked up on the way you acted tonight, you didn't want anyone to know of you and him. Sihtric was smart and he waited a few minutes before he sneaked away from the others and joined you in your guys room.

You waited for sihtric’s presence as you packed the few things you had around the room into your satchel, being extra careful when you packed the flower carving. You turned your head to the door when you heard it opening. You see sihtric swiftly coming in and closing the door behind him, a tired smile on his face.

“Hey,” He quietly greeted you, he didn't stop his strides until he's in front of you and pulled you into a tight hug. His arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you as close to him as he can. You let yourself relax in the hug, closing your eyes and resting your head on his shoulder. Mumbling; “I missed you”

“I was close to you the whole night” He chuckled, you could feel the vibrations of his laugh on your chest. Sihric smiles and kisses your forehead before responded; “But i get what you mean, i missed you to”

You made sure that the two of you kept your distance throughout the night. It was difficult, the both of you were used to being so close. Sihtric had no idea why you kept your distance from him but he went along with it. You knew you had to give him an explanation…but you just didn't know how to say it.

“Sihtric”

“Yes?” He answered with a hum, his hold on you not wavering. He liked having you close to him, so close that he could feel your heartbeat against his chest. The sound of your beating heart comforted him.

“I…don't think we should let the others know about us” You hesitated at first but you knew it would be easier if you just spit it out and get the conversation over with.

“Oh” Sihtric whispered, if you weren't so close to him you were sure you wouldn't have heard it.

“Is there a reason why?” SIhtric asked calmly, trying to hide how upset he got over those 11 words. To anyone else they wouldn't have noticed the sadness in his tone, but it was different for you. You knew Sihtric better than anyone else. You felt your shoulder droop when you heard the sadness in his voice.

“My brothers are very protective…I don't think I'm ready for them to find out” You say truthfully. It was true, your brothers are very protective of you and you were worried that they would say or do something that would scare sihtric away. You know your brothers wouldn't do it in a malicious way, they would only do it thinking they are protecting you, but sometimes they can take it a little too far. You didn't want sihtric to go through that.

You pull away from the hug and bring your hands up to hold sihtric’s face. You could tell that he was upset and that was the last thing you wanted. You gave him a reassuring smile and looked into his brown eyes as your thumb softly rubbed against his cheek.

“Its not going to be for long sihtric, just until things cool down”

Sihtric understood where you were coming from. You had told him many stories about how protective your brothers would be over you, and he knew you were just doing it to protect him. But that didn't stop the negative thoughts from collecting in his mind. Sihtric cleared his throat and answered you, his tone emotionless.

“I should get my things; it would be suspicious if i slept with you tonight.”

You didn't get to talk to sihtric over the next 2 days. Those 2 days were spent planning to take Dunholm and the journey to Donholm, the whole time you were by your brothers and bridas side and sihtric was by clapa”s and finan”s side. You tried to talk to him with the few chances you had but sihtric was inconveniently always busy and doing things for your brother.

It was hard not being able to be by his side all the time, or being able to have those ridiculous conversations that would have you talking for hours. But by far the hardest thing was how lonely it was at night. You didn't like sleeping without sihtric by your side, he made you feel comfortable. He made you feel safe.

And with sihtric not sleeping next to you, you didn't get much sleep the past two nights. You tried to rest but your mind kept you up. Not only were you missing sihtric you were also worrying about the battle at Dunholm. You hoped that you hid your tiredness and worry well but there was one person who knew you better than anyone. And that was uhtred. With one look he could tell something was bothering you.

You were currently walking alongside your brother Uhtred, ahead of the others and the small army. Uhtred was leading the march because he knew the way for the plan and you decided to walk with him, you didn't want him to be alone and plus you missed him. Uhtred appreciated your presence dearly.

“What's on your mind sister?” Uhtred asked you, turning his head to glance at you before looking ahead. You look away from the grassy hill to look at your brother. .

“I’m just worried about what's going to happen at dunholm…It's been a while since we had a battle like this” It wasn't a lie, You were worried. But it wasn't the whole truth but you couldn't tell that to uhtred.

“We will be fine sister, stop worrying” Uhtred said in a reassuring tone. You just hum in acknowledgment and go back to looking at the view. You could feel stares on your back and you knew that one of them was sihtric. You were comforted by the fact that sihtric still had his eyes on you, making sure you were okay.

“Were you okay while I was gone?” Your brother asked as he looked at you with a worried look of his own. You thought it was funny how he was just telling you not to worry and here he is, worrying himself.

“I won't lie, it was hard at first, I was so scared and paranoid. But it got easier with time” You pondered aloud, Thinking of the struggles over the months he was gone. You felt a little guilty, your struggles were nowhere close to how your brother, Halig and Finan struggled.

“I'm glad sister, i would never forgive myself if something happened to you and i wasn't there to stop it”

“I am fine brother, Don't speak of such things” You give him a small smile and gently bump your shoulder into his, making sure it wasn't the injured one before doing so. Uhtred laughs and bumps his shoulder back into yours, a little harder than you expected, making you almost trip over.

Uhtred lets out a loud laugh and helps you stand straight, stopping you from falling. You give him a dramatic glare that only makes him laugh more. Your glare turns into a grin at the sound of your brother's laugh. You missed his laugh, his smile, his jokes. You soon joined him in laughter.

“And sihtric?” Uhtred asked you with a small smirk after the two of you calmed down from your laughter. Your neck almost snapped with how fast you turned your head to look at your brother. Why is he asking about sihtric? you think with a panicked thought.

“What about him?” You internally curse at yourself from how fast you respond, and the way your voice goes higher doesn't help. Uhtred hides his smirk and gives you an innocent smile.

“You guys were alone for many months, was it okay?…did anything happen?”

“Everything was okay, nothing…nothing really happened” you tell him with a nervous smile. Uhtred looks and your side profile when you turn to look away from him, he has a smirk on his face that you didn't notice. Uhtred just responds with a snicker.

The trek up the mountain to Dunholm was hard. It was even more difficult because of how dark it was. But it was nowhere near as hard as it was when you had to part from Ragnar and Brida. You knew that when you hugged them both that that could be the last time you hugged them or the last time that you would see them.

You tried to distract yourself from those negative thoughts. So you went over then plan in your head again, again and again as you ran up that mountain and hid in the bushes. Wait at the wall until they come for water, sneak into dunholm, kill Kjartan’s men, Kill Kjartan, Find your sister.

It was a very straightforward plan. A plan that you hoped worked.

You were by Hilds side as you crouched behind the bushes. On the other side of you was Sihtric, he was so close to you that you could reach out and hold his hand and no one would see, and that's what you did. You reached out and took his shaking hand in yours. Sihtric immediately turned his head to you when he felt your touch. You give him a small smile before focussing back on watching the men on the wall.

You felt his hands stop to shake and hold onto yours tighter. His hands were clammy but you didn't mind. You knew he was nervous, this couldn't have been easy for him. Coming back to this place, Knowing that everyone had the same goal. To kill His father. You knew that sihtric had little to none love for his father in his heart, But this still must be hard.

You look away from the men and to uhtred, waiting for his signal to run towards the wall. You saw the concentration and determination on your brother's face. Uhtred looked at you and hild and nodded; the signal. You give sihtric’s hand one more squeeze before letting go and quietly sprinting after hild and uhtred.

When you get to the wall you quickly put your back against it and let out the breath you were holding. The cold stone feels nice against your back and palms. You look across the grass and towards the bushes where the others were at. Your eyes looking at sihtric who's waiting for the right time to run towards you.

Sihtric nods towards Father Beocca before he stands up and starts sprinting towards us. You feel your body tense up in fear when sihtric trips over his own feet. You helplessly watch as sihtric looks up at the men on the wall in fear praying to himself that they wouldn't notice him. Thankfully they didn't. Sihtric quickly got to his feet and ran to the wall, taking the spot on your left.

You watch as the others run over as well, and you let yourself relax a little knowing that you weren't caught. The first step in the plan was almost a success. Now all you had to do was wait until the morning when they opened the small door to collect some water. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long of a wait.

Sihtric tilts his head to the side to look at you. Your eyes were closed as you leaned your head back against the stone wall, you were trying to calm down your nerves. The moon was reflecting against your face and you looked absolutely beautiful in Sihtrics eyes.

Sihtric brushed his fingers against yours before holding your hand. You opened your eyes and tilted you heard to look at at sihtric, locking eyes with him. You give him a faint smile and lace your fingers with his. Looking into his warm eyes you knew you would be just fine with him by your side.

Before you breached, dunholm uhtred told you, well more like demand you that you have to stay by his side or by the others side during the battle. You just responded with a roll of your eyes, you and uhtred both knew that you could protect yourself. But Uhtred just wanted you to be safe.

Despite the small annoyance you felt about Uhtred’s over protectiveness, you listened to him. So during the battle you were by Sihtrics' side. Fighting side by side, making sure that the other was okay. One second you were fighting against one of Kjartans men and the next you were standing next to Sihtric as a Square formed, For Ragnar and Kjartan.

You feel anger and disgust when you see Kjartan standing in front of your brother as he shouts for one of his men to give him a shield. Your Grip on your sword was starting to hurt but you didn't care. All you could focus on was The sound of shields and swords clashing and the sounds of shouts of the people around you.

It felt as if you were stuck in place as you watched the battle in front of you. You couldn't bring yourself to shout out like Brida or uhtred. You just stood there watching. Tears of anger forming in your eyes at the words Kjartan was saying about your sister and parents.

You move closer to sihtric and he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to his chest, His eyes not leaving the fight in front of him. You flinch when Ragnar stabs his sword in Kjartans arm. Your jaw clenches when Kjartan yells for his sword. You watch with a blank stare as Ragnar swings his sword down at Kjartan.

You felt Sihtric flinch at every swing of Ragnars sword. You couldn't watch after the second swing and turn away and lay your head on Sihtric’s chest, trying to drown out the screams and the awful sound of ragnars sword meeting Kjartan’s body. One of your hands moving to sihtric’s back to rub up and down, hoping to comfort him in some way.

You squeeze your eyes shut and flinch when you hear ragnar's shout of anger. You couldn't bring yourself to turn around and see the sight, you wouldn't be able to handle that. You were feeling many things at that moment, happiness that your family has been avenged, disgust from the fight, tiredness from the battle. And most of all you felt sadness, sadness because Kjartan’s death did not make you feel any better.

You felt one word, Overwhelmed. After the brutal death of Kjartan your sister stepped out, surrounded by wolves. You wanted to cry at the sight of your sister and you did when she yells in agony and runs back inside, her wolves following after her. You look at your brothers, Uhtred has tears rolling down his face and Ragnar's face is covered in blood but you could still see the tears.

You tried to talk to your sister again but she just stayed silent as she looked away from you, her wolves staring you down. You left her alone, it was obvious she wasn't ready to talk to you and you would respect that even though all you wanted to do was bring your older sister in your arms.

But instead of being in your sister's arms you were in Sihtric’s arms. After trying to comfort your brothers and failing you decided to look around for sihtric, you knew he needed comfort as well after what he witnessed. But it was no surprise that you couldn't find him, You didn't know your way around dunholm.

So you were very thankful when Sihtric randomly appeared in front of you. You could tell by the look on his face that he needed to be with you, alone. You didn't question him when he took your hand and pulled you away from the eyes of others and up the stairs to an empty guard tower.

You didn't say anything either when sihtric locked the door behind him and pulled you down to sit on the stone floor, Both of you leaning back against the stone wall. You could hear the loud talking of the drunk men celebrating the victory. You stretch your legs out in front of you, bumping your foot against sihtric’s.

You wanted to say something but you didn't know what to say, So you just closed your mouth and rested your head on sihtric’s shoulder. There was a tense but comfortable feeling in the air, Sihtric knew you wanted to say something and that you were waiting for him to make the first move. So he took your hand in it and rested it on his lap.

“I dont think im ready to talk about it” Sihtric whispers but you hear him perfectly.

“That's okay, i'll be here when your ready”

“I'll always be here no matter what” You promised as you squeezed his hand, tilting your head to look at his side profile. Sihtric can't stop the smile from forming on his lips at your words. He tilts his head as well, your lips almost touching. Sihtric twists his body to face you and brings his hand up to cup your cheek before sealing your lips in a gentle kiss.

You felt sihtric pour his emotion in the kiss. A once gentle kiss turned into a desperate and heated kiss. The hand he had on your cheek traveled to your nape, tangling his fingers in your hair, pulling you closer.

“I love you” SIhtric whispered against your lips. The feeling of the kiss was lingering on your lips, You let out a heavy breath and opened your eyes. SIhtrics brown eyes were already looking into yours.

“I love you” You breathed out, still trying to calm down your breathing from the kiss. It also didn't help that every time sihtric told you he loved you it felt like you couldn't breathe. Sihtric smiles at your words and moves his hand for your hair to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ears.

“I'm sorry” You muttered after a few moments of silence. Sihtric who moved back to leaning against the stone wall looks at you in confusion, not knowing why you would be sorry. “What for?”

“For wanting to hide our relationship, it wasn't fair to you” you apologized, the more you thought about it over the past two days the more you realized how unfair it really was to him. You didn't even ask for his opinion, you just made the decision yourself.

“I understand why you did it, It's okay” He reassured you, softly gripping your chin with his thumb and pointer finger to make you look at him instead of the floor. Your anxiousness drifting away at the sight of his beautiful eyes.

“I don't want to hide anymore” You confess to him. Just hiding your relationship for 3 days was hard enough, you couldn't imagine doing it for longer. Before sihtric could open his mouth to say something you were already saying something.

“I never want to hide my love for you again” You whispered as you tilt your body to face him, your hand cupping his cheek, your thumb softly grazing over a small scar. SIhtric out of instinct leans closer to your hand, not breaking eye contact with you. Those words left a heavy but nice feeling in his heart, Gods he loved you so much.

“Does that mean i can kiss you in front of the others?” Sihtric jokes with a teasing smirk as he leans his face closer to yours.

“Hey now! Don't push your luck” You laugh and playfully push his shoulder away from you making him go back to leaning against the stone wall. Sihtric joins you in your laughter

“Let's start off slow, like holding hands. Can you do that?” You smile softly, bumping your shoulder into his. Sihtric felt warm inside seeing your beautiful smile, it made him forget about all of his problems, he could only focus on you.

“Oh i can definitely do that” He smiles with a flirty tone. He takes your hand in his and brings it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles as he winks at you. You felt your cheeks burning from his actions.

“Anything for you” He says in a much softer tone, leaning down to kiss your forehead before wrapping his arm around you and pulling you closer to lay your head on his chest. You hum in acknowledgement and watch as the pretty sunset peaks over the wall.

All the worries you had about the future, about your sister, about your brother's reaction to you and sihtric’s relationship drifted away as you sat in silence watching the sunset. Being in sihtric’s arms gave you a sense of clarity and peace that you never wanted to lose. You knew that whatever happened in the future you would be fine, because you had sihtric by your side and he never plans to leave it. With or without your brother's approval.

ཻུ۪۪ bonus:

Unknowingly to the both of you that while you guys were cuddling and watching the sunset, your two brothers were resting by the fire inside, their newest topic being you…and sihtric.

“How long do you think it's gonna take until they realize we already know” Ragnar chuckles as he takes a sip of his ale. After the conversation with Uhtred that just made him feel even more down he knew he had to change the conversation, and he knew the perfect topic. Their little sister.

Uhtred immediately knows what his brother is talking about. Uhtred knew you very well and he already had suspicions about you and sihtric when he noticed how you would glance at him ever so often the day he got back, and he knew he was right by your strange behavior and the way you responded to him when he asked you those questions.

“Hopefully not too soon, Sihtric is being extra polite…i think he might be scared of you” Uhtred smirked as he tilted his cup towards Ragnar before taking a large gulp. Thinking about how polite he's been the past few days.

“Should we scare him a little?...threaten him?” Ragnar smiled mischievously, already thinking of a few ideas to scare sihtric. Ragnar set his cup on the wooden table and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he looked at his brother.

“No, I can tell he makes her happy, And he protected her when we couldn't” uhtred shook his head as he glanced at Ragnar before looking towards the burning fire. Uhtred could tell that you really cared for sihtric and the fact that sihtric did in fact kept you safe made uhtred feel a lot better about you and his relationship.

“And besides the last time I threatened one of her ex’s she didn't talk to me for a week…which is a lot to her because it seems like she can never shut up” Uhtred added when he noticed Ragnar thinking a little too hard on his last words.

And Uhtred was right, Ragnar did think too hard on what uhtred had said. Ragnar didn't like the fact that he wasn't there to protect her, He had missed out on so much he missed how it would be him protecting her.

“Yeah well at least you didn't get pushed into the mud” Ragnar scoffed as he shook his head and leaned back in his chair as he remembers that day. There was a boy who lived close to them, he was the youngest son of the weaponsmith, And Ragnar noticed how that boy always seemed to appear when you were around. Raganr did not like it.

“I Don't blame her on that one…you deserved it” Uhtred snickers as he remembers the furious look on your face as you pushed your eldest brother into the mud before running off to your father to tell him how angry you are. While the son of the weaponsmith was running to his father, scared that Ragnar was going to chase him and feed him to the ‘cannibals who live a few villages away if he didn't leave you alone’....there were no cannibals but the boy did in fact leave you alone.

“Who knew that a six year old y/n was so strong?” Ragnar chuckles as he grabs his cup from the table and drinks from it. Ragnar couldn't help but smile at the memory, he did in fact deserve to get pushed into the mud for scaring that boy but it was no way near as bad as the scolding he got from his mother when he finished cleaning himself in the stream.

“Our little sister can handle herself, i taught her well” Uhtred smirks as he looks back on the memories over the years.

Ragnar chooses to ignore what uhtred said about how he taught her well because everyone knows it was really ragnar. He instead focuses on ‘our little sister’. He couldn't help but feel a little emotional as he thought about it, he had missed out on so much in your life. You weren't that small girl that needed her big brother to help her with everything. No, you were older now, and knew how to take care of yourself.

“Our little sister isn't so little anymore.”

note:

Okay so like i kind of love this fic, and I genuinely like how it turned out. I hope you guys do too!

Please comment if you would like to be added to my tlk taglist or my Sihtric taglist.

I’m also currently working on a Aethelstan story, it's going to be published on wattpad soon. I'll try to also publish it here if you guys want?

I really like the plot and story I made with this fic and i wouldn't mind making a full on story for it, just let me know if you guys would want that or just other parts.

Also, i do apologize if sihtric seems a little ooc, i was just really trying to explore another side of him? But like I said before I do hope you enjoyed this fic! Likes, comments and reblogs are very appreciated.

#the last kingdom #the last kingdom x reader #sihtric kjartansson #sihtric x reader #sihtric imagine #the last kingdom fandom #the last kingdom fanfic #arnas fedaravicius #sihtric the last kingdom

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smoooothoperator · 2 months

Text

untouchable

20: Lonely

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle, life as lovers

Words: 5.3k

Warnings: Harry.

a/n: Happy Easter!!! I hope everyone had an amazing week! A little warning, the next chapter will be the last one! But of course there will be an epilogue and bonus chapters

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Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Day 1

Nurses came to check on her all the time to see her vitals, how her brain was going as well as taking a look at how her body was healing after the surgery.

My phone was blowing all the time with messages and calls, asking if I was alright. Just how I predicted, everyone saw the news and recognized my car. Workers from McLaren called me, my family and friends called too, drivers from the grid.

Everyone was worried about me. But none of them expected what actually happened.

When the nurses changed her to the VIP room I reserved for her, Max and Pietra came with me, both of them bringing clothes for her and for me, as well as something to eat.

“You have to eat, mate” Max sighed, watching how I left the bowl of salad on the table, not even touching it.

“I'm not hungry, I swear” I sighed.

“You didn't eat anything yesterday, Lando. Eat something, or at least drink” Pietra sighed.

I looked at them and sigh, grabbing the bowl and eating it under their gaze.

“I don't know what to do… my phone is going to explode soon with all the notifications and calls” I sighed, looking at my phone. “What should I do?”

“Maybe write something you can send to everyone, as well as posting it on your social media” Max sighed. “Everyone is talking about the crash, mate. And they think it's you”

“I know” I sigh, brushing my hair with my fingers. “I just… What should I say? Hey, I'm okay but not my girlfriend who was actually the one driving the car?”

“I mean… Yeah? Just tell everyone that gladly you are okay, but unfortunately the one involved in the crash was Violet. And if you are going to write something for your media just ask for privacy. You know how the world is…” Max said, shrugging his shoulders.

I took a deep breath and looked at Violet. Her hair is messy and some locks are tinted in red.

“There has to be a way of washing her hair” I mumbled.

“I'll go ask a nurse, okay?” Pietra smiled weakly, walking out of the room.

I sighed and just scanned Violet's face with my eyes. The cuts were still there, her left eye was swollen. Her arms are full of cuts as well, maybe because she tried to shield her face with her arms.

“I'm going to write a text” I sighe, grabbing my phone and watching all the notifications. “God… It's like I was dead for a night. I didn't answer none of them”

“It's okay, I'm sure everyone will understand” Max sighed, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Plus, I'm sure your fans know it's not you. You were streaming when it happened”

I smile weakly and nod, looking at the screen and typing something, then delete it.

Hello everyone. I'm sorry I didn't answer any of you. I'm okay, physically, but mentally I'm not. It was true there was a crash and my car was involved, but I hate to admit that it didn't happen to me, the one driving it was Violet. We are in the hospital, she's unconscious. I hope everyone understands why I didn't reply to your text.

I showed Max the message and sighed when he nodded, copying the text and sending it to everyone that texted me.

“I don't know if I should call her family” I mumble. “I mean… she doesn't have a good relationship with them. But still, they are her family”

“Did they try to contact you?” Max frowned.

“No” I sighed, looking at Violet. “They have my number, Violet sent it to them in case of an emergency… And I think this one is a big one”

“Then, if they didn't call you, don't call them. It was on the news, it's hard to believe that they didn't read about it” he said. “She said it herself, they only reach for her when they want something from her”

“I know” I sighed.

When Pietra came back with the nurse, she asked the three of us to get out of the room so she could clean and wash her hair.

“Come on, let's go walk a little” Max said, grabbing my arm.

I just let them guide me, feeling how my phone buzzed constantly inside of the pocket of my hoodie. I grabbed it, reading every message, smiling sadly.

“Some drivers want to come” I sighed. “Carlos, Oscar, Charles, Daniel, Max and Alex”

“That's good” Max smiled.

“I don't know if it is…” I sighed. “I mean, I know they want to do it to cheer me up. But right now all I want to do is sit next to her bed and wait for her to wake up. I don't even want to force a smile”

“Then don't force it. They will understand. You don't need to be smiling all the time, Lando” Pietra said. “And you need to be distracted too, think about something else”

“I'm just tired” I sighed. “But I guess you are right”

Some hours passed. Max and Pietra left so I could have time with the other drivers, as well as letting me have time for myself.

“What if they come with their pity faces?” I sighed, holding Violet's hand. “I don't know if I can with that”

I sighed, shaking my head and looking at the door once I heard a few knocks on it, standing up next to her bed.

“Come in”

I took a deep breath, trying to put on the fakest smile I can put now, watching how the door opened slowly and hearing the quiet steps of Carlos and Oscar walking inside of the room. Somehow, I felt grateful they came first. They are the ones I trust the most lately. Carlos being my first teammate and my true friend in the paddock, and Oscar being my current teammate and someone I trust and I know I can rely on.

“Hey…” I sighed.

“Oh, Lando…” Carlos sighed, walking towards me and wrapping his arms around me. “I'm so sorry… The other guys are outside, we wanted to come in first to see how are you”

“No, please” I mumbled. “Just… She's alive, okay? She's just sleeping”

“Of course” Oscar nodded. “But how are you dealing with this?”

I took a deep breath and immediately erased the fake smile. I looked back at Violet for a few seconds and sighed.

“I swear I thought I had lost her” I said with a sad smile. “When I received the call, I was in shock. I was repeating the words they said in my mind, over and over and over again. And on my way to the hospital I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen to me if she didn't survive…”

“But she's okay” Carlos sighed, placing his hand on my arm.

“She's in a coma, Carlos… I don't know if she's really okay. I don't know if she's in pain, or scared” I said, feeling my eyes getting wet again. “I feel useless now, sitting and watching her, hoping that she wakes up”

“Hey, you are not useless” Oscar sighed, hitting my arm softly. “You are here, supporting her. And you are being so strong, mate. Staying here and not leaving her side, I'm sure she will appreciate it”

“I wish I could do more” I said looking back at her.

Day 2

Her room smells like flowers.

Yesterday, when the drivers came with their girlfriends, all of them brought flowers for her, as well as some other things to cheer her up once she wakes up.

“We know she loves reading, she got us into it” Carman said, smiling weakly. “So all of us got her a book”

“You didn't have to, girls” I smiled weakly, looking at the box they placed on the table with a few books inside of it. “I'm sure she will love it”

I sighed, looking at the table and standing up, walking towards it and looking at the inside of the box. When I opened it, I smiled weakly, watching her favorite candies inside of it as well as a few books I hadn't seen on her shelves yet.

“You won't believe what the girls brought you” I smiled weakly, sitting next to her and holding her hand. “The books you had in your wishlist. I think something like Fourth Wing and Iron Flame… Oh, and that one from the actress with seven husbands”

I looked at her, hoping that those words made her react. But of course, my delusional mind was being too naive.

“Mom and dad are coming soon” I sighed. “Should I let them stay in the apartment? I don't want them to go around looking for a hotel knowing that I won't stay at home. You don't mind, right? I just… I can't leave you here alone”

I sigh looking at her hand, trying to feel her squeezing my hand as a sign. The doctor told me that anytime she could do that, she could respond and move her fingers.

“Please, just move a finger… I'll go insane if I keep talking alone” I whisper. “Are you alright? In pain? You know I hate it when you are in pain…”

I waited some seconds to receive an answer, but I could only hear the beeping of the monitors with her heartbeat.

The door opened and I sighed, recognizing the steps of my parents coming closer. I heard them leave something on the table and then walk towards me.

“Oh, God…” my mom sighed, hugging me.

“How is she? How are you?” my dad asked, making me smile sad.

Everyone has been asking me that. My messages are full of people asking me how Violet is, how I'm dealing with it.

“Why is everyone asking that? It makes me feel like she's dead” I sighed.

“I know, son” my dad sighed, sque my shoulder with his hand.

“I'm just… dealing with it, I guess” I sighed looking back at them. “I feel relieved somehow. The nurses that come say that she's recv well. The surgery went well and her brain activity is good. But they don't know when she's going to wake up”

“I'm sure it will be soon” my mom nodded.

I sighed nodding, hugging her and taking a deep breath.

“You can stay in the apartment” I said, looking up at them. “It's like half an hour away by car… But at least you have somewhere to stay”

“No, Lando” my dad sighed, shaking his head.

“It's okay” I smile weakly. “I won't go… I will stay here with her. The nurses will arrange for me the extra bed so I can stay at night too. And you'll have food and somewhere nice to sleep. I'm sure won't mind”

They smiled weakly and nodded, both of them wrapping his arms around me. I don't want to break down, I want to be strong for Violet. I tried so hard the last two days to not cry while I'm in her room, but now feeling my parents’ arms around me, it is so hard to hold on to everything.

“I am so scared” I cried softly. “What if she doesn't wake up? What if things don't go well? What if I really lose her?”

“You won't, Lando” my mom sighed, rubbing my back. “Violet is a strong girl, she has a strong soul”

“Everyone is telling me that” I mumble. “But why can't I believe it? Why everytime I look at her I feel my heart shattering?”

“Because you love her, Lando. You love her and watching her this way makes you vulnerable”

I felt my shoulders shaking with every sob, feeling their hands rubbing my back and their arms tightening around me.

Once I calmed down I got up from the chair and walked with them towards the table, watching the bag with lunch they left there. I sighed, opening the box and playing with the food in front of me.

“Somehow I feel that this accident made me see that I have to love the present with her” I said.

“Why do you think that?” my dad asked, frowning.

“We were talking about buying a house together” I sighed. “And I was looking for engagement rings. I just… I love her so much, but I was so focused on it and living my own fantasy with her that I didn't face reality. We have only been dating for six months, I can't take a big step like asking her to marry me…”

“It's soon, son” he sighed. “You two are young, just wait a little. Enjoy life with her”

“I know” I nodded. “Now I know…”

My mom looked at me with a weak smile, placing her hand on top of mine and sque it softly.

“Do you want to show us what you two were looking at?” she smiled weakly. “Maybe we can help”

“It's not necessary, mom” I smiled weakly, grabbing my phone and showing them the pictures of the houses we liked.

“We want to” she smiled looking at my dad and both of them nodding. “We did the same with Oliver's first house with Savannah. We will do the same for you and Violet”

I took a deep breath and smiled, nodding.

I just have to face the reality. And unfortunately, my reality is that the love of my life is unconscious and I have to accept every help and hug I receive.

And in moments like this, I know who will be by my side.

Day 4

Days were too long. So incredibly long.

My routine was so monotonous: waking up before the nurses came to check on Violet, get changed into comfortable clothes and then sit on the chair next to her bed.

I wonder if Jon would be mad if I tell him that I'm skipping my diet and barely working out. Will he be mad? No, right? He knows me, he knows how I'm feeling right now. He knows that, right now, Violet is my priority.

“I think I'm going to read one of those books you are obsessed with” I said looking at her. “Just to feel close to you… Which one should I read? The one of that Feyre girl? Or the one that is a mix of The Hunger Games with Greek mythology?”

I looked at her, trying to find an answer and I sighed. The doctor said that her brain activity is going well, she's recovering. Slowly, but she's recovering.

“Well, A Court of Roses and Spines will be the one” I sighed, smiling weakly, grabbing my tablet and downloading the book, starting reading it immediately.

When Violet told me that a day can go faster when you read a book I always thought that she was exaggerating a little. Whenever she stayed in her office all day, I never imagined she could be starting a book in the morning and finish it at night.

But now, reading the last line of the book, I understood how she felt. When I read the last word, the sky was already dark.

“Oh my God” I whisper, looking at Violet. “Why did you never make me read this before? And the Rhysand that is in this book is the same Rhysand you say is your book crush? What the hell? How? Why? ”

I held my breath, trying to see a reaction. But again, I only heard her heartbeat as an answer.

“I wish you were awake…” I whisper. “God, now I see you so much in this book. I see you in Feyra, my love…”

I sighed, taking her hand in mine and bringing it to my lips, pressing a kiss on her knuckles. Her hand is cold, but somehow that doesn't scare me because she always had cold hands.

Maybe reading her favorite books made me feel closer to her, getting into one of the things she loves. Somehow, since we started dating, I learned new things about her every day, things I never knew I would discover before about her.

And somehow, it made me miss her even more.

“Please, wake up” I whisper. “I miss you so bad, Violet. I miss your smile and your laugh, even how you complain because I stay in the computer too long and I don't come to you to cuddle. I promise I won't stay up late gaming, just… Please, please, open your eyes”

Day 6

“Okay, you were right. Rhysand is good, Tamlin is not good”

When my parents came yesterday, they brought me the books I was reading. Both of them were surprised I started reading, something I barely did before meeting Violet.

“You know? Now I think I understand why you said that we are like Rhys and Feyre. And I agree” I sighed, holding her hand. “I see us… Maybe I should dye my hair black? Rhys has black hair and is tanned. I don't have purple eyes, but…”

I smile weakly, kissing her hand and leaving the book on my lap.

Her face is less swollen than a few days ago, she only has bruises now and scars of the cuts. Her doctor gave me a cream I can put on the scars so they won't leave a big mark on her skin.

I sighed and continued my reading, but I was interrupted by my phone receiving a call from an unknown number.

“Hello?” I sighed, frowning.

“I'm talking with Lando Norris?”

“Yeah, who is this?” I frowned, swallowing thickly.

“I'm calling from the police department. We made an investigation about the car crash where your car was involved a week ago. And we would like to talk with you”

“L-look… I think right now is not the right time” I sighed, rubbing my face. “My girlfriend is in the hospital. I can't leave right now”

“It's related to what caused her crash” he said. “It wasn't an accident. It was intentional”

“What?” I frown, getting up from the chair and walking away from her bed. “What do you mean it was intentional”

“The brakes were manipulated. Someone manipulated them” he sighed. “We can investigate who it was”

Someone manipulated the brakes. Someone wanted to… No. Not her, the Audi is not her car.

“Someone wanted me to crash” I said, swallowing thickly. “The car was mine”

“We will search for the person who did this” he nodded.

“Can you please look at the street cameras around where we currently live” I said, swallowing thickly, somehow scared of what the conclusion would be. “I have been receiving pictures of someone invading our privacy, receiving threats. I think that person would be the same one that tried to…”

“We will work on it” he said. “Thank you for telling us that”

“Y-yeah, just please, get that person away from us”

I ended the call and sat on the table, looking at the wall in front of me, not believing what was happening.

Someone tried to kill me. Someone manipulated the brakes of my car to make me have an accident like the one Violet had. Someone wanted me dead, and instead, Violet is there in the bed unconscious.

I didn't want to trust what my mind was saying, refusing to recognize the name that echoed in the back of my mind.

Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry.

He wouldn't, right?

Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry.

“Fuck” I gasped.

Eloise had the same crash she had. And what did she have in common with me? Violet.

No, no, it can't be. He wouldn't do something like that to Eloise… Right?

My body worked alone and soon I heard the beeps of my phone next to my ear, and after that the same voice of the officer that talked with me minutes ago.

“I think I have a name” I mumbled.

“Oh? Are you sure?” he said surprised.

“I wouldn't like to be” I sighed. “Harry Greyson. He… He was a friend of ours. But I think he did really bad things to us, to all of my friends. His girlfriend… My girlfriend's best friend died last year in December. They said it was because of the snow, but I wouldn't be so sure. Please, just find answers”

“We will investigate him. Thank you for the name” he said.

“Y-yeah” I nodded, swallowing thickly and ending the call.

Would Harry do this? He would do anything to have Violet, right? But… If he wanted her since the start, why never go for her? Why dating Eloise?

“Fucking hell…” I groan, messing my hair and looking at Violet. “I swear to God. If he did this to you, he's a dead man. I swear, Violet”

Day 8

I hated this. I hated the uncertainty of not knowing what was happening was killing me.

The police started an investigation, they looked at the street cameras that are near Violet's apartment as well as where Eloise used to live. But they never called me back to give me updates of it.

And to make it worse, a week has already passed since the crash.

“I hate this, love” I whisper while holding her hand. “I hate so much that I can't do anything to make you wake up. Are you even hearing? Can you hear me? Just move a finger please, because I think I'm going crazy. Will you wake up? What should I do?”

I was so uneasy. The calm part of me wanted to stay here and wait for her to open her eyes, holding her hand and whisper sweet nothings. But the mad part wanted to walk out and find Harry, get answers.

“What should I do?” I sighed, swallowing thickly when I felt the tears coming back. “I want to punch and kick the shit out of him. I want answers, Violet. What if he's not who we think he is? And I'm afraid of being right, but… What if he is the man that was stalking us? What if he was the reason Eloise died? What if he did everything because of you? Because he's sick and only wants to have you as his puppet?”

I swallowed thickly and looked at her. If I'm right… What should I do?

“He has to go to jail, Vivi..” I whisper. “Right? The police will call me soon, I can feel it. I gave them his name, just in case”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

This is a nightmare, and it only will end once this finally ends.

The day passed slower than I wanted. Max and Pietra came to spend the afternoon with me, but that didn't stop my anxiety whenever I received a notification.

“What is going on?” Max frowned.

“I just…” I sighed. “The police called me. They said that the crash wasn't an accident. Someone wanted me to crash, hoping that I was the one getting in the car. And somehow that made me think”

“About?” he whispered.

“Harry” I sighed, shaking my head. “I don't know. I just… I don't know. His name somehow came to my mind and things started to click immediately”

“But, how?” Pietra frowned. “Why?”

“I never told you, neither Violet. Someone was sending me pictures of us. Someone is stalking us” I said. “And it has to be someone that knows where Violet lives. You two know it, and I highly doubt it would be one of you. Eloise knew too, and… she's dead. Who else knew where she lives?”

“Harry” Max nodded.

“Exactly” I sighed, swallowing thickly. “I'm not going crazy, right?”

They looked at each other and then at me, smiling weakly.

“I have to find him” I said firmly. “For Violet”

“What? No. Lando!” Max frowned. “Going to him won't make Violet wake up. You are not an Avenger or something in the style”

“I know! But I need answers, Max” I said. “I need to know why he did everything he did”

“You are assuming he was the one that caused the crash” Pietra sighed. “You are angry, we get it. But please… Don't do something stupid”

I took a deep breath and looked away from them, fixing my eyes on Violet. I need to do something, I can't stay here with my arms crossed and waiting for a miracle.

And then my phone started buzzing, with the same number of the call I received two days ago.

“Hello?” I answered the call, swallowing thickly when I pressed the speaker button.

“We have him” the officer said. “Harry Greyson has been under arrest since this morning. You were right, he was the one that invaded your privacy and the one that manipulated your car”

“Oh, thank God” I swallowed thickly, sighing with relief.

“But he wants to talk with you. He didn't even call a lawyer. He only wants to talk with you” he sighed.

“What?” I frown and took a deep breath. “Okay, I'll go”

I ended the call before Max could complain.

“Lando!” Max sighed, shaking his head.

“It will be safe. He's under arrest, you heard it” I said. “With chains and all, I'm sure”

I took a deep breath and stood up, looking at Violet. I don't know when she's going to wake up, the doctors said she should be already awake… Why is she not awake?

“Please stay with her” I asked them, grabbing my phone and wallet.

“You are joking, right? Come on, Lando!” Max exclaimed. “Don't do something you will regret”

“I have to, Max” I sighed. “I have to know the truth. I have to know why he did that. He wanted me dead! If I was the one in the bed, you would do the same, right?”

I took a deep breath and looked at him, watching how he lowered his head and sighed. I'm letting my anger take control of my emotions, and I absolutely hate the feeling of that.

“I'll come back, okay? Just… Stay with her”

Before they said anything I was already walking out of the room, feeling my heart beating strongly against my chest. This was the first time I'll leave Violet since she's hospitalized, and somehow that made me feel anxious.

What if something goes wrong while I'm not here? What if she thinks I left her? What if… What if, what if, what if…

But I was already on my way to the police station, getting out of the taxi and going to the reception and saying that an officer called me. And before knowing it, I was sitting in front of Harry.

“Well, well” he smirked.

“You did it” I frowned. “You manipulated the brakes of my car”

“What makes you think that?” he laughed.

“You are the only one left of our group that knows where Violet lives” I frowned.

He looked at me with a grin that made me feel goosebumps. It wasn't the smile he used to have when we were kids, that mischievous smile he had whenever we planned something funny or when we made a prank. No, that was a scary grin with a gaze that only meant something bad.

“It's all her fault” he said seriously, but not erasing that smile. “She was the one that started it all. With that smile and that stupid behavior. If she kept smiling in that way to everyone, she would be in trouble. She smiled at me first, she chose me!”

I frowned looking at him. Is he being serious?

“But of course, those guys came” he scoffed. “What were their names? Oh, yeah! Jared the cheater, Michael the snob and Owen the…”

“Don't you dare to say it” I frowned, swallowing thickly, clenching my jaw

“Whatever” he scoffed. “It was pretty easy to get rid of them at the start”

“What?”

“Oh yeah! It's really impressive how easy it is to make her believe things, hm? A picture sent by an anonymous saying that Jared is cheating on her but actually he's hugging his cousin. And threatening Michael was really funny, you should have seen how scared he was when I broke his car with a gold club. But Owen? Oh, Owen was harder than I thought, but the end was pretty satisfying. It was so disappointing noticing that he loved drinking, but he didn't even notice the powder on his shot as he drank it. And hearing her scream for help, panicking while the man she said she loved only wanted to have fun... I was so disappointed with you, actually. You, the man that was so crazy in love with her since you met her… You, who always tried to find a second to be close to her but couldn't hear her screwing for help”

I swallow thickly, feeling nauseous. He did this, all for her. I was right, and I hated being right in this. Hearing him talk this way was like talking with a stranger.

“Why?” I groaned, clenching my jaw. “Why did you do all of this?”

“Oh, because it's so funny! It's so funny watching how she runs back to me! How, after everything, that stupid smile was only to me!” he laughed. “But then Eloise started to get too involved. She wanted to spend more time with her, to have her all for herself. She invited her to that stupid trip you planned and wanted to spend time with her. And let's not forget all the times she tried to set you up with her. Why?! Violet is mine! Why would she want to spend more time with her?! And then you… You started to put stupid things on her brain. Telling her things about me! How dare you?!”

“Because you are crazy! You manipulated her!” I exclaimed, but he stood up and it made me flinch. Something about him scares me, maybe the fact that he was chained to the table or his gaze of psychopath.

“You should be the one that got in the car and died!” he exclaimed. “Not her! It was easy with Eloise! But you… You did it! You killed her!”

“She's not dead” I mumbled. “She's not dead and she will hate you until she can't remember you”

“Nah, I don't think so” he smirked. “She will always come back to me. You will hurt her, maybe cheat on her with one of those models that walk around the paddock and then she'll come back to me. Right where she belongs”

I took a deep breath and grabbed my phone from the pocket of my hoodie, placing it on the table, in front of me.

“She won't, Harry. Give up” I said, stopping the recording. “She's with me, she's happy”

It was so quick. The moment he got up again and tried to wrap his hands around my neck, two guards walked in and grabbed Harry by the arms, making him sit while he screamed. I just got up and walked out, with an intense need of throwing up as soon as I walked out of that room.

Never in my life I imagined he was able to do something like this. Never in my life I imagined he would kill someone and try to kill me.

The officers that walked next to me gave me a weak smile as they walked me out of the police station, talking to me. But I wasn't listening, not understanding what they were saying.

“Harry will be sent to jail” one of them said. “After talking to you he made a confession, he will go through a court, but that won't save him”

“Y-yeah, okay” I nodded, just wanting to get away from here and go back to Violet.

I took a deep breath and called a taxi, going to the hospital while looking at the screen of my phone. He really said everything, he really told me everything.

How on Earth could he turn into someone like this? Why on Earth did he get so obsessed with Violet?

“I'm back” I sighed, closing the door of her room behind me. “Guys… I was right. He…”

“Lando” I heard her.

“Violet?”

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