#i literally dont know anymore but fucking honestly i wanna cry and i think my brain is like.... ok so we are done mourning our past self?

[weenhands]

i wanna die im sorry gerard i let you down but this gender stuff is kicking my ass

[tectco]

Hello, just wanna start this off by saying that I love your art. I've decided to ask my favourite artists for art tips as I wanna get into it, but no matter what I do it never looks right. So, any tips?

WARNING YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOOD GATES GET READY FOR A LONG ASS POST

WOOOOO BOY, first off huge fucking compliment i honestly didn't think i was anyone's favorite artist (despite what my friends say) and i find it super cool of you to try and draw

Anddd nowww the cowards will run out as soon as you read more

okay so first things first, disclaimer! I AM NO PROFESSIONAL BY ANY STANDARDS, IM JUST SUPER INTERESTED IN ART, DO NOT TAKE MY WORDS AS GOSPEL AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO TAKE MY WORDS OF ADVICE (you didnt say i was but just to cover my ass)

I am still learning as an artist so this will just be advice that helped me, lets just hope i can remember what got me here, and this will be just me jotting down my thoughts as they come so maybe im not the best person to come to about this (i may repeat what other people say in terms of art so bare with me)

SO WITHOUT ANYMORE DISCLAIMER! YOU WANT ART TIPS FROM ME? WELL GET READY FOR SOME BULLSHIT FROM A PERSON WHO'S BEEN SO ARTSY FARTSY IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE AND HAS NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT, WELL COME INTO THE SHIT TRAIN!!

Now i dont know if you are an intermediate artist, beginner, need help in specific areas or whatever the hell else but! here's the three main points i always wanted to scream at artists who are just starting out!

Your art WILL look like shit in the beginning

References and inspiration are YOUR FRIEND

DONT be afraid to trace

(I know I know this feels like regurgitated and it probably is BUT HEY STICK WITH ME)

does your art looks fucking trash? THATS GOOD!! KEEP DRAWING!! My art looked fucking ugly when i started and some might say (me) it still does, but thats okay!! You learn more and more from just drawing without any tips, art is a pure skill that builds up, do not be discouraged!! The point of art isn't to be the greatest in the world, it's to be at peace with what you create so if your art looks good to you and you are in a happy place in your progress, you are basically successful in my eyes at least (this doesn't mean to quit learning obviously but it'll come in time, be patient, do not push yourself! that's how you stop loving art and we don't want that happening!)

Ever find yourself asking "man why the fuck does (include art shit here) not look accurate??" well here's a tip, USE REFERENCES! DO NOT BE LIKE ME WHERE YOU JUST WING IT OR ELSE YOU'LL BE CRYING OVER YOUR DRAWING TABLET LIKE I DID AT SOME POINT!! Pay attention to the shapes of the reference, break it down and draw over it if you need to, shapes are very important in art and you need to be able to draw whatever you want in the most basic forms (im no good example of this, i really need to practice more aughhh). As well as references, inspiration is KEY!!! Everything is inspired off each other, nothing is original, so steal from your favorite artists!! Look at their speedpaints, look at how they use colors, analyze how they draw anatomy in their style, see how they use shapes, etc etc, learn from who you consider are the "greats of their times"!! USE ALL THE INSPIRATION YOU HAVE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS!!LITERALLY COPY THEM IF YOU WANT EVEN IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DID THAT, YOU'LL LEARN WITH TIME!! just whatever you do, don't compare yourself so heavily against other artists, i know its hard, i do it myself even! If there is an artist who has a style you so so want, don't crumble if you can't draw in their style perfectly, you'll never win against someone in their art style. I suggest taking inspiration from multiple artists and mashing them together until it looks good in your eyes!!

That actually leads me to my next point! TRACING IS OKAY!! Now obviously I do not mean directly tracing over like some lines, showing it off/posting it and calling it completely original. I mean tracing over the references i mentioned before, or like what i said before, i believe you should actually trace from your favs! (don't call it original like i said before), tracing can help build memory on how to draw certain things like how i took a photo of my hands before, traced them, and then put it to the side to redraw it, making me understand futher how hands work! OR like how i traced a piece of art that i liked to understand how the artist drew their bodies, tracing is used by total professionals in the industry so do not be afraid!! You have total permission from me to trace my art and learn how to draw my wack ass bodies

and for a little extra bit, little bit of a hot take (I'm actually not sure how much of a hot take this is), i don't think you HAVE to learn the fundamentals to get into art. NOW BEFORE YOU RUN OFF SCREAMING AND SHITTING, IM NOT SAYING YOU DON'T NEED THE FUNDAMENTALS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!! I'm just saying that if you want to get into art as a complete hobbyist and just want to draw to yknow draw and be happy, you should just go for it! Again don't make art something you hate! I completely encourage learning the fundamentals but don't ever feel like you're failing just because you don't, get into it when you have the time! be patient with yourself, this goes for any hobby/skill but just sink some time into it, i promise you will get further in you hobby than if you push and rush yourself into complete burn out

OH AND HERES MY ULTIMATE TIP! THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO DO ART!!

Uhhh i think that's everything? Im not exactly sure how comprehensible this is or how the spelling is since i am not beta reading this! But apologies if this wasn't what you were looking for! (if anybody even read this far) and i hope that if you asked your other favorite artists they answered with anything better than whatever this is! I wish you alot of luck in your art journey and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about art! OH AND REMEMBER TO TAKE BREAKS

[ridragon]

Hiya! Thanks for visiting!

This is my wonderful partner -> @tini-panini give a follow as they're new if you want :D

I have a lot of names I like going by, the most common is Ri or Riri! But you can also call me Faust or Shilo! I'm one of those they/thems who cant figure out gender, so honestly pronouns dont matter much to me. I might be plural, it'd explain a lot, but I don't know. If you see me say super out of character stuff... well. Yeah.

I reblog silly sex jokes occasionally (that will be tagged as nsfw) but no straight up literal nsfw (art or otherwise) <: ask me to tag anything you'd like me to tag. (I have a nsfw blog but will not be linking it here lol.)

Please forgive me if I ever come off weird, or don't get a joke, or get defensive quickly! I'm neurodivergent but try my best to be kind at the very least. Just try to talk to me before you assume the worst, please. 💜 Be prepared that I may have psychosis episodes that I usually delete after, it's all bark no bite and sometimes I just need to ramble it out.

Oc/art/writing blog: @FaustQuillpen

Ace attorney hyperfocus blog: @Kiss-The-Lawyers (things breach containment a lot tho)

Pokémon RP/Art/Writing Blog: @shilo-sumac (in character!)

any other sideblogs are dead and old and should be ignored, apparently if u delete sideblogs it may delete ur main and if that happened i think id. cry. so they stay. haunting me. I'm not a [data has been redacted by Ri] stan anymore I SWEAR IGNORE 15 YEAR OLD ME'S FAN BLOG

ask me about my ocs i am holding your head in my hands or ace attorney I am begging (i like a lot of things ask me Abt anything maybe youll trigger my special interest trap card)

I wanna make friends send me asks (anon is fine too!) or dm me if you want.

Casting Bisexual Blast on your location. the nuclear fallout will be catastrophic.

[Fuck Off I Don't Like You List (otherwise known as a DNI): TERFS, Paedos or Paedo apologists """"MAPs"""", Zoophiles/Zoophile apologists. Most people who I wouldn't want to follow or interact with also wouldn't give a shit about a DNI list tbh.]

[speaking-at-the-theater]

watching and dreaming

WATCHING AND DREAMING! i’ve got popcorn and soda ready :D 

OH SHIT

–

the in-between? yay?

funky little in-between places between worlds, the unknown, the in between, the nowhere realm, gotta love them

–

FUCK

–

AMITY VS LUZ! the fight to the death literally no one wanted!

–

oh shit. poor…..everyone!

–

terribly sad moment but the color coordination or purple+green+red´+yellow+blue was great (couldnt get a pic w amity’s hair in it that didnt exclude hunter

–

gotta love those tiny details in dream sequences that remind the mc that something is wrong. toh is so good at that, keeping consistency across eps! a witch’s duel was introduced in s1, and yet now they are recalling the concept, drawing attention to it, in a way

—

it’s interesting how ‘light’ here also has implications of truth, reality, knowledge. reminds me of hs in a way, though ik the idea is not exclusive to that

–

family reunion time!

-

rai-rai? really?

collector is soo cute!

collector is just an amoral child propaganda yes!

(can you guys tell i love collector???)

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spiders are cool yes!!

-

wow! character who does bad stuff but doesnt realiza it’s bad? sign me right up! i love collector, did you know that?

-

the interesting contrast of childish innocence plus terrible atrocities is always fun to watch

-

watcha playing eyyy!!

–

love how luz, eda and king are kind of showing collector what his games feel like (getting injured, painful) for them, while being part of the games themselves! i imagine this si setting up for a ‘stop! this isnt funny anymore’ ‘well, that’s what everyone else feels too’ moment

–

poor collectorrrr nhghhshshshsh new fave character ig

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O COLLECTOR IS THEY THEM I DIDNT NOTICE

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love this shot

–

collector is so like a child, they encounter a feeling they dont like and immediately become mean

–

couldnt help but notice their eyes were without that white dot- kinda like the amity-puppet, yk?

-

collector spinel kinnie, also older-collectors are archivists? cool

-

ok so my predictions about the archvists taking collector in where wrong, cool. might wanna do something with that later tho

-

man that’s- that’s sad. collector literally got abandoned by their siblings, and then made new friends, just to see their siblings practically genocide everyone there, just for one of their friends to blame them for that and trap them in an empty dimension for a lot of years (and obviously leaving collector w some trauma). even if they dont say it in grown-up words, what happened to them was awful

-

luz collector parallels yes!

-

fuck you belos! go raine!

–

texts i found

-liar

-i gave up my palisman for you (i think?)

-im done

–

oh they really said ‘go big or go home’ w the horror here didnt they? 

–

i think it’s cute, seeing luz tell her story of the owl house. kinda like those end of movie narration where the mc describes what they learned. very…heartwarming, excuse me while i cry bc this is the series finale

-

the knee! i love that theme of ‘can you hear the world singing?’ i’ve seen in so many other places. real magical. and TITAN MAGIC?? gimme.

-

no but fr they baby

-

collector saying a baby could do what it took luz like 6 eps to learn

-

i love!!!!! the idea that luz and the titan/isles are connected to eachother, have loved it since i first came upon it in s1, i should do a (heavily canon divergent basically full on au) fic of it.

–

at first i heard ‘he must really like you’ as ‘he was really like you’ and honestly i like both.

–

‘hear that?’ ‘hear what?’ didnt that also happen last ep? i’ve been watching so much media it’s mixing around in my head

—

oof. collector recognizing raine’s earring. 

-

oh?? collector tell us your plan??

-

‘kindness and forgiveness’ wont help you now collector.

-

also isnt belos kinda a titan now??? should he be inmune to collector’s magic?

-

what a load of second-hand embarrassment

-

collector is such a child!! they see a new rule in this game we call life and they assume it always applies and are surprised when it doesnt! .

‘no, you did good, collector’ yes!! bc collector wasnt completely in the wrong for wanting to understand belos! it means they learned from what luz taught them!! it’s not their fault belos is an asshole!

-

wow! for everyone who thought king was gonna be the petrified one this season, not quite!

-

that silent ‘oh no’ look

–

no dont say that!! that’s sad!!! i’m sad now!!

–

luz! light! she became light!!

-

gotta love ‘tiny golden sparks representing magic through a connection with the world surrounding you’ sounds too specific but both toh and spop have done it!

-

collector i gte you’re grieving but please stop putting yourself in dangerous situations you have to be rescued from

even so: ‘the archivists arent here! the couldnt have taken her!’ noooo

-

oh. luz’s…..shards, return to the stars. the light glyph is written in the stars. huh.

-

‘i should have thanked them’ oh. bc everytime they get separated, the separated party thanks luz (‘luz, thank you for being in my life’ ‘thank you for being my big sister’)

i’m crying now.

-

KING’S DAD????

i should be more surprised but this was set up since the beginning

-

‘luz is a noceda! you know what that means? it means she’s too strong to let any of this bring her down’ literally!! the name noceda means ‘don’t give up/yield’ theory of language my beloved

-

‘I’m sorry for everything!’ reminds me of catra. damn. and ‘i don’t want anyone else to go missing……’

-

i need the music for the titan luz scene.

-

love this logo?? bc 1 it reminds me of the solar system which correlates w the space theme we’ve got going but also, it reminds me of like, connection. how mixing glyphs together makes them stronger. how luz’s strength is in her friends, her attachments, her connection to the world!

–

OH!!! THE INTRO LEITMOTIF IN THE TITAN LUZ SCENE!!!

-

is that collector screaming????

-

no he looks like a cat fr

–

no but??? the isles being overtaken by green vegetation?? utterly natural for humans (belos, and to an extent luz) but utterly alien to the people of the isles?? then luz giving back the red vegetation??? smth about accepting other people’s differences even if they dint align w yours???

-

gotta love all the callbacks this ep is doing. i could make a compilation of them but it’s like they’re saying ‘we know this is the end, but remember the journey’ remember remember remember ughhhhhh toh will never die.

-

love how all the glyphs have their natural element form, but also other connotations! the light glyph deals w light, but also knowledge, truth (it helps wake up the people of the isles) but also the obscuring of truth (the invisibility glyph) while fire is both fire and like, movement, the sphere titan!luz travels in is made of fire glyphs while the teletransporting spell has a fire glyph in the middle, light also seems to have themes of ife? and it makes sense for fire to be movement: the more hot something is, the more the atoms in it aare moving and just…. hajdjakd.

–

eda’s requiem???

-

what the fuck  is going on here what does that do

-

also ‘i am the good witch luz child of the human real student of the demon realm’ YES????? BC SHE’S NO LONGER PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, SHE’S ACCEPTED WHO SHE IS AND WHERE SHE COMES FROM

-

MORE CALLBACKS

collector seeing the hex-children and curling up…… gonna save this

-

whoa!! belos is a bastard!! come on, still attepmting to manipulate luz??

also ‘you’re human, you’re better than this’ ‘WELL WE AINT’ (stomps) YESSSS 

and the acid rain not hurting luz….nice detail. the titan does look upon her

-

’Hunter deamonne is canon!!’

–

uh??? no- no more glyphs???????  nooo

–

my babies!!!! theyre all so grown up now

–

in remembrance of flapjack 

ToT

…..

i’m going to cry now. bye

i have no grand speech about how much this means to me, mostly bc there are no words to describe it. it’s just…..thank you, TOH, for being in my life.

[koulakoukoula2003]

Hiii im an avid reader of your erwin x oc fic and i just wanna say.... i know petra is just a side character here but I can't help but feel bad about her :( she may be a jealous bitch here but levi's confession to erwin about choosing nathalie over petra just broke my heart for petra and my overthinking masochist brain has been thinking of scenarios like petra overhearing the conversation and when theyll be back in the hq she's gonna give levi the engagement ring back and just disappear in his life forever without saying anything like she just goes straight to his office, look at him in the eyes while giving him a painful smile and handing the engagement ring and a letter of resignation maybe then leaves without a word like a scene wherein petra realizes that she will never have a chance against nathalie even if levi isn't in nathalie's life anymore and she decides to give up because the pain is too much already or like after Levi's confession to erwin about choosing nat, levi noticed that petra overheard the conversation and petra ran off immediately and something bad happened to petra in the mission and when rounding up casualties, Levi asked some officer maybe about his squad then he was informed that petra is dead and i dont know how levi should feel like im such a sucker for tropes like petra and maybe levi will realize Petra's worth once she's gone and she is or maybe not or i dont know hahaha sorry im just rambling and wallowing about my angsty scenarios for petra 😂

lmao anon, i wrote a huge reply to this and tumblr fucked me up and i lost all of it snnkjehiwujogds TUMBLR, FIX YOUR FUCKING GLITCHES FFS YOUR PROGRAMMERS SUCK

ahem pls ignore me

OMG ANON, FIRST OF, TYSM FOR READING MY FIC!!! (I thank my readers all the time in case you haven't noticed eheheh)

And second, your ideas are AMAZING, honestly I was going to do exactly as you said, she overhears Levi’s confession to Erwin.

“I will forever choose Nathalie over Petra.”

Damnnnn, I bet y’all think he’s way out of character and he kinda is. I mean he would never hurt or use a woman like that. Using Petra while thinking of someone else? That’s not Levi at all. He is a respectful man and he would love his woman to the fullest.

But here, he is so convinced that he loves Nathalie when it’s not really love, he’s actually obsessed with Nathalie. He’s convinced that she’s the only one for him but that’s only because she was his first and the multiverse (long story short) this fic is part of my Multiverse of SNK idea.

So, this fic is a parallel universe to another fic of mine BHSL (a Nathalie x Levi slow burn) and let’s just say that an anomaly happened in the multiverse (it’s a long story, anon, you don’t need to know about it), and Levi from BBSF (the Erwin x Nathalie fic) is sharing emotions and memories from Levi in BHSL. So, the feelings that Levi has for Nat in this fic, they’re not actually his own. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe he actually loves Petra.

I know snk fans are masochistic af and you’d probably love for me to engage in angst and drama and heartbreaks LMFAO but hear me out, I had this idea of what happens with those two so that they can be happy (it’s a fix it fic after all).

As you said, Petra overhears Levi’s confession and she gets sad and mad af and she throws herself in battle to die. After Levi deals with the Beast, he finds her, lying in the battlefield, dying and bleeding and he panics. He literally panics. He kneels down and he pulls her in his arms and she’s crying.

She’s crying, she’s a mess because this man doesn’t love her. She was going to die and she was never going to find out how it feels to be loved by Levi. So, she cups his cheek and looks up at him and she makes him that final question that wants answered so desperately before she dies.

“Do you think, you could have ever loved me… as much as you love… her?”*

Oof that past tense hurts here a lot, because she’s talking about something that could’ve happened, but it never did because she’s dying now. Maybe deep down she has lost all hope and maybe she knows that she never really stood a chance in claiming his heart, but she just has to know. Maybe if he at least made his feelings towards her clear before her death, it would give her some peace.

And, please, now I want you to imagine Levi panicking and losing his calm entirely. This stoic man who watches friends die and kills people without a spec of emotion showing – now he’s at the verge of insanity. He’s slowly coming to realise that he actually loves Petra. Did she have to die for him to figure out it? Yes. He took her for granted. He won’t realise it if this scene doesn’t happen.

So, he brings her closer and he’s pressing down on her wound, as hard as he can because he needs time. He has wasted her time with her so much, being obsessed over another woman that would never feel the same for him. Imagine the self-loathing and the regret, the guilt he’s feeling right now. Now that he’s realising he loves her, it’s way too fucking late.

“No…” he says and she weeps but he’s wiping away her tears and he holds her closer and for the first time in her life, she’s seeing tears in those argent eyes she had grown to adore “…I could have loved you so much more.”*

Here’s the past tense again. Something that could have happened – he could have loved her but he never did, he never got the second chance he wanted because she died in his arms and he would forever hate himself for it. For hurting her, using her, making her a mere replacement when deep down he knew he was a mess without her.

BUT as I said, this is a fix it fic AHAHAHAH SO this is where the angst ends (my apologies eheheh), but remember those three serums that Nathalie made? The ones that heal all wounds???? Yeah, Levi kept one, Hange kept the second one (which they used on Moblit), and Nathalie hid the third one in her bag (that she eventually used to save Erwin).

Levi doesn’t know if it will work. He doesn’t care if someone needs it. He’ll use it on her and he’s going to save her life. She remains unconscious for a couple of days because she’s lost blood, but she survives and maybe they don’t break up. Maybe Levi snaps out of it, and he actually, finally lets their relationship become healthy and happy.

Honestly, I’m not actively a Rivetra shipper (but that’s only cuz it hurts too much and I’m a fucking wimp LMAO) and this fic is an Erwin x OC not a Rivetra fic and that’s why all the rivetra is wayyyyy back in the background (you reminded me with this ask to actually mention them in a scene because it’s been seven chapters and I’ve forgotten about them LMFAO) BUT I SHOULD DEF write this angsty scene as a flashback or a bonus/filler chapter or a oneshot.

But first, I need to get my shit together and stop being lazy and actually write shit LMFAO

TYSM FOR READING MY FIC (yes im repeating myself pls ignore) send me another ask to let me know whether you like this idea of mine or not, cuz I know you want pain, anon, and if you ask for it, I’ll deliver it and they’ll never get their happy ending MUAHAHAHAHAH

I could very nicely have her breaking their engagement and disappearing for (let’s say) four years (ehehehehe) and next time Levi sees her, she has a cute little four-year-old with silver eyes and black hair in her arms EEEHEHEHEHEHE or he could find her working in a brothel in the underground (MORE DRAMAAA) or she could be married to some other man that she doesn’t love (MUAHAHAHA) or she could be dead cuz she committed suicide and he finds out it’s because of him

Lmao, u got many choices, anon, pick whichever you like and lemme know!

*(lmao I used those lines first in a Vincent Valentine x OC fic of mine, go read it 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫)

[kinnsporsche]

once again an episode that made me absolutely lose my mind!!! kp are so in love and they finally said it!! although, i would have liked it better if they said it to each other in private first but oh well can't have everything. and porsche is officially a stay at home wife i love that for him. the scene when p was drying kinn’s hair though, it was the softest shit i have ever seen in my life <3 i also loved the scenes with taytime they are always so good i wish they had more screen time. 1/4

and we got the kimchay breakup :/ i was expecting it but it still hurt. I still have hope that they will end up together. however, the most important part of this episode (for me) was vegaspete!!! god these two make me go insane. the way we went from sadistic torture to that convo at the end. bible and build's chemistry is actually unbelievable i can't get enough of these sick motherfuckers. and don't even get me started on the cinematography like the lights and the shots and just the whole atmosphere it was so good and so sexy and I’m gonna need 3-5 business days to recover. that preview was the final nail in my coffin i don't think i can wait a whole week for more. I’ve read some metas about them but honestly I don’t even care if vegas changes for pete or not. their relationship is so fucked up on so many levels that I don’t think it can really be redeemed. certainly not in 3 episodes. and honestly does he need to be? can’t he just stay the fucked up villain that he is? I wouldn’t mind. I’m just here to enjoy some toxic fictional men be sexy and gay and so far they did just that so I’m satisfied. I can’t believe we only have 3 episodes left T_T I don’t know what I will do when this show ends. (I hope you’re doing well )

omg my kp anon i've missed u so much!!!!

for me i'd always had a hc that kinn had a hard time saying ily to anybody bcs he'd been burned by love in the past so he hated saying it but this show roundhouse kicked that in the face and left me obliterated at the scene this mf is out here shouting it from rooftops to anybody who'll listen good for him

god you know what sends me absolutely feral? kinn casually mentioning his mother to porsche. her death must still be a sore subject for him, nobody talks about it we've hardly had any mention of her and for him to just be like "my mother used to do this for me" god how long has it been since someone's taken care of him like that? and now here's porsche the biggest caretaker in the world just so ready and willing to do everything he can to take care of kinn bcs thats his love language and he loves him sm i just y'all mind if i break the fuck down real fast

pls the kimchay break up!!!! like kimothy i get why you did what you did but that doesn't mean me and tankhun won't beat your ass for it bestie 😔😔 you made the baby cry. like he's literally alread living at the estate, he can't get anymore involved with the mafia, but i guess kim was literally just faced with the reality of porchay being kidnapped because of his ties to the mafia through his brother, and he's probably thinking about how much worse it'll be if he's tied to the mafia through HIM, he's probably thinking about all their enemies and how much of a target it'd make him so he's being a self-sacrificing little shit about it god tankhun needs to hit him with a tray and knock some sense into him

i haven't been that eager about the vp arc yet, im betting that'll probably change in today's ep and next weeks ep 👀 just wanna see pete humble that man so bad, and i dont want vegas to stop being a bad person just bcs he gets with pete ykwim? he's interesting because he's a villain lets keep it that way besties. i do bet he'll get a redemption arc, i've mentioned this to a few people i talk to but with the way things are going it made me wonder if the big shootout at the major family house in the promo where vegas is framed as a big bad is actually misleading and vegas'll be there to help kinn and the major family and maybe put a bullet in his dad's head i just wish him a very big die even if i will miss the dilf 😔

pls dont mention that we only have 3 episodes left pls dont mention that theres only 2 more weeks of kinnporsche or i'll start to eat glass

[thebangtancloud]

Every performance of theirs since the dinner gives off this really bittersweet feeling. Not even an exaggeration, I'm always teary eyed by the end. Knowing what we know now, and them performing those songs knowing that we'll know a part of the truth in a couple of days, the sadness and struggle can really be seen in their visage. You can practically see the "I wont get to stand with these 6 brothers of mine in a stage for a while and perform like this in front of army so I just gotta really soak everything in and be in the moment" expression they give off.

I know they aren't on a hiatus perse but they clearly stated that their priority atm will be their solo careers. Yes bts contents will still be released but I dont think it'll be anything major or performance like. Maybe with the exception on armys birthday? We'll just have to wait and see.

I really love them and it hurts me that it came to the point where they lost sight of themselves. Really a huge fuck you to covid. Sorry for sorta ranting outta the blue. Feel free to just ignore this if it bothers you.

Honestly? I've been wanting to rant about this quite a bit too, but I really didn't have the strength to do it. I feel everything you said, and the day I listened to Yet to Come and For Youth, it didn't really hit me. Not even when they had the festa dinner.

It was when I was watching the BTS Tiny Desk Concert (which is almost like a ritual cuz I play it every evening while the sun sets) and I heard them say, "Hey, we are BTS!"

It really...broke me.

Do you know why? Not cuz I won't get to hear them say that in a while. It really made me think of the pain they might be feeling because they won't get to say this for a while.

There really are just so many things about every single day that has passed since the 10th of June. Idk if it's just me...but I feel like the boys don't feel like BTS anymore? There would be moments when the boys would individually claim, "but I am BTS." and to hear Namjoon say that no he's not BTS, he's just a part of it, really...idk. Idk why that hurts. Must be me and my overthinking mind.

I get his point though, and as a leader, fuck. I respect that man so much. The responsibility? The burden? It was SO evident in his words, in his tears. Can you even begin to think what it's like? You're BTS and you're at the top of the world with literally every second person knowing who you are - and you just know that you can't go further. I get him when he said that they had a message to share, and I get him when he cried. But when he said that he felt like he overshared and caused misunderstanding? Let me just go cry in a corner.

And it's not easy for any of them. You can see that in their eyes during their performances. Fuck. I'm tearing up rn. But i don't wanna make this about me, or any of us. It's about BTS.

They offered themselves completely for the past 10 years. Completely, you hear me? And they deserve this break. They deserve every bit of mental peace and time and space that they're choosing to take for themselves and no one should have a say in that.

If I could, I'd really write to them and tell them just how much I support them. That I'll always be here. That it's okay to feel what they're feeling. It's okay to cry and it's okay to not be able to see what's ahead. It's all okay, even when nothing's okay.

Bangtan sonyeondan forever.

On a side note: I have full faith that BTS will come back. A part of me that broke when One Direction went on a hiatus and promised to come back really holds me back from believing that BTS will come back. But a major part of me, the part that BTS touched like no other group, the part that taught me life like no other group, really really doesn't let that hope die out. BTS are true to their word, they've always been, and they always will be. They'll come back, mark my words.

[arillusionist]

shadow and bone!! ep7!! reaction!! book update: i've barely read any of siege and storm i've been so busy 😭😭 this is feeling like soc book one where it took me 3 weeks to read the first 10 chapters 💀💀 then i finally got invested and read the rest in less than a week. anyways

we starting with a flashback?? or at least im assuming this is a flashback

stop i just realized he has long hair definitely a flashback

Why tf couldnt he have killed all those men before his girlfriend literally got mudered??

oh wait shes not dead yet

now she is

baghra kinda pissing me off but the darkling is crazy so

damn how long is this flashback!! if its the whole episode im gonna cry i wanna see the crows😭😭

yayy its over he looks so much better w short hair 💀

aww inejjj ☹️ they better not show that wound up close like they did with mals...

JESPER IS ME like keep that camera back!!!

"thats dark" thats fr all you have to say??

"i think he'd murder heelen himself" HE WOULDDD

im glad theyre somewhat talking about inej's backstory.. this is such a painful scene and its not just because of the stitching

they rlly going for blood every 2 seconds this episode huh

WAIT I THINK THIS IS THAT ONE KANEJ SCENE THE ONE WHERE HE SAYS NO SAINT EVER WATCHED OVER ME

IT ISSSS

god i love this scene so much 😭😭 shes his saint 😭😭

they are just so. ahdjfjfk literally the best part of this universe, separately and together

also i love how she kept pushing him, she wouldnt just take a little bit, she made sure she got something real out of him

THEY SMILEDDD or at least i think, can never tell with kaz

im honestly a bit confused tho how can inej leave?? i dont think kaz payed out her indenture yet??

i know this is a dramatic big scene bla bla bla but why does alina look so good in that fit

oh thats fucking gross when i was reading book 1 i didnt realize the collar got fucking engraved in her

that shit on his hand looks so weird too

oh my god why tf did they have to make it look like that 😭😭 i literally cannot look at alina anymore

he cant bring himself to get mad at her so he has to say smth else 💀💀 hes definitely jealous too lmaoo

"its suli for friendship" "no it not" PLEASEE

he looks so fucking done im crying

keep the coat on alina...

yayyy genya!!!

this scene is so fucking saddd

he really thinks he can lie to her like.... be real with yourself

"but its alright, because i do" no you DONT ur literally just a pedophile

"you look fine" "oh i look more than fine" HELPP

"no one is ever gonna believe im that old" INEJ'S SMILE and then "you tell yourself that" I LOVE CROWS BANTER

is that fucking milo

they rlly put the keys on a goat?? or maybe its not the keys but its something 💀

PLEASEE GET THAT UGLY ASS THING OUT OF HER NECK 😭😭 im literally covering that part of the screen

"well i thought you looked older" LMAO

THEY SAID IT NO MOURNERS NO FUNERALS

its over?? that felt quick idk it probably wasnt actually

[dilfwaynes]

hi!! can i request a hc of the batfam reaction of their eastasian!reader gf  experiencing racism? thank you <33

just a reminder if you took place in any involvement of asian hate block me rn bitch :)

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this anon, i tried to make it accurate without stepping over any boundaries since im not asian myself. if anyone finds any sort of this offensive pls dm me !!

warning ; racism, batfam beating hoes, mention of blood

parings : bruce wayne x asian!reader, jason tood x asian!reader, dick grayson x asian!reader, stephanie brown x asian!reader, tim drake x asian!reader, damian wayne x asian!reader

BRUCE WAYNE:

it’ll honestly take a minute for bruce to realize what happened

when first entering the store he took notice of the man glaring but brushed it off thinking it was directed towards him as bruce wayne

you however didnt really pay attention to the dirty looks being thrown at you

with bruce excusing himself to the restroom and makes a promise of a quick return, you wander around the area by yourself

it was all fine until a man approaches you, giving a fast glance at him before turning away. there was definitely something up with him

“you don’t belong here”

your head shot up at his words, looking around you to make sure he was talking to you

“excuse me?” you lift an eyebrow at him, knowing what he was hinting at

“you fucking heard me, you don’t belong here. go back to your country.”

you inch away as he steps closer,”you better back the fuck away..”

he simply gives a smug face only coming closer,”or what?” you tighten your jaw when he loosely lets out a slur, your fists clenched.

“or i dislocate your arm.”bruce’s voice rings out, deep in anger as his eyes flicker to you and scanning to see if you were ok physically.

the ugly bitch’s face pales when he realizes who’s your boyfriend. without hesitation bruce yanks him away from you, slamming him to the wall

demanding for a first and last name,  squeezing his neck when the guy stays quiet

shaking he gives in and tells, flinching when bruce slams him against the wall one last time before dropping him

“i guaranteed whatever poor status you do contain i’ll tear it completely, say goodbye to your job.” he grabs for your hand and brings you into him as you both walk away.

“i’m sorry i shouldn’t have left you alone, my fault,”he presses a kiss to your temple.”and please don’t think any worth of that garbage’s words.”

you shake your head,”he was just some lowlife, not worth thinking about.” you reply leaning into him.

he looked at you and could tell no matter what those words still hurt somewhat and it angered him to no end

no one deserved to hear that disgusting shit, especially not his girlfriend.

his eyes hardens but doesn’t push further to make you anymore uncomfortable than you probably already are

giving another kiss to the side of your head he makes a quiet promise to himself not to leave you alone anymore in public with disgusting people like that around

jason todd:

as soon as the slur leaves the guy’s lips jason’s fist collides to his jaw, no doubt   shattering it

you and jason were grabbing lunch at some restaurant slash bar since it was the first time in a few days jason was free

everything was okay until you got up to go to the bathroom and some guy bumped into you

jason watched with hardening eyes as you apologize instead of the guy who slammed into you

“watch where the fuck you’re going at.”

you fall shock at the word, staying in place

while jason is on his feet in no time, swinging to the asshole’s face

screams were heard as well as the sound of bones breaking from his fist impact, the guy stumbling to the floor

“you racist fucking prick that’s my girlfriend you ugly fuck,”lifting him by his shirt he grabs his face and turns him to you.”apologize to her before i break your fucking face.”

he quickly rambles apologizes, crying in fear or pain. most likely a mix of both

jaaon lets him go and gives him another punch, this time to the nose. finding satisfaction at the pool of blood now seeping out

jason grabs your hand and starts to lead you outside,”let’s go eat somewhere else and forget about this shithole.”

you barely had time to give a reaction to anything as everything happened so fast

“hey look at me, don’t listen to that worthless fuck and his fucked up mindset. i dont know what to say to comfort you since i never experienced anything like this.” he stops at the car, placing his hands onto your shoulders

you nod sighing lightly, you only wanted a simple lunch with your boyfriend but instead got hate crime for simply  breathing.

“it’s nothing i haven’t gone through before,”he shakes his head blue eyes filling up with rage.

“no one’s gonna be doing that anymore, or at least getting away with it while i’m around

DICK GRAYSON:

he was completely taken by surmise at the slur being thrown at you, as well as the fault of you being the root of the covid 19

but before he had any time to react you were already on your feet glaring,”the fuck you just called me you piece shit.”

before he could reply you already kneed him and punched him between the eyes, dick laughing at the cries of pain

“you want me to take over or you wanna handle it babe?”

even how badly he wanted to beat the shit out of the pos the choice was yours

you denied and wanted to handle this on your own

but everytime the guy tried to get up dick would just shake his head and tell him to stay down, or simply push him back down

eventually if you start going too far richards would pull you away and tell you hes not worth it

he understands your anger but he doesn’t want you to past a line you won’t recover from bc of some worthless grime

“c’mon, he’s not worth anymore of our time. lets go eat pizza.”

DAMIAN WAYNE:

swing first talk later

he’ll just look at guy for a few seconds with a blank face

then he’s literally knocking them out

will probably kick him into the wall or ground

u dont know if you wanna pull him away because you already the tabloids, or if you wanna let him continue to beating the guy

damian probably wouldn’t realize how much he beat the guy to a pulp until you’re tugging him away

nudging his neck with to your nose to try and calm him down

he’ll end the fight with spitting on him tbh

your face reddens with anger when your eyes met the racist bitch, enjoying the view of his blood on the floor

“racist piece of shit,” he hisses before finally turning his back brow still frowning with anger

unlike the others (mentioned) he also knows and experienced racism and understands your point view way more

and know bow to comfort you better tbh

afterwards he’ll talk to you and comfort you, as well as opening up about his racist encounters, as well as his mothers.

if you’re still upset about what happened some hours later he 100% offers to beat up the guy again

you laugh it off cos hes serious about doing detective work, finding the guy and beating him to a pulp

you thank him but deny his offer and settle to confiding into him and just telling him how your feelings

STEPHANIE BROWN:

“are you fucking serious right now bitch?”

steph deadpans staring at the girl who called you the slur with ease, going on about how you were the cause of corona and to go back to your country

shocked at the words, hearing all of this before but it still doesn’t fail everytime you hear them

turning to you and seeing the hurt on your face from the word, she quickly turns to seeing red

without a second thought she grabs the collar of the woman’s shirt

“you’re gonna fucking apologize to my girlfriend right now or i’m gonna slam your face into the floor and break it

you stay still, pleased at watching the girl shake in fear under steph as she chokes out a mesh of a shit rushed apologizes

stephanie throws her down to the ground after her third apologize

“are you okay?” she knew you weren’t but asking the question would lead into the stage of comforting you

you nod but go on to tell her that this isn’t the first or last time this will happen, but it still never fails to shock you

she frowns at your experiences and doesn’t quite know what to do to help since she never went thru anything like that

she offers to take you to your favorite restaurant and end the day in wayne manor watching whatever you wanted

smiling when you accept, pulling you in her and pressing a kiss on-top of your head

“dont worry i’ll beat any jackass that pulls any racist shit.”

TIM DRAKE:

i think he’ll be the less  violent one out of everyone

he would honestly be so disgusted and gross out at humanity and how the woman thinks shes superior just because she’s white

if it was a guy saying what was said, then he would probably hit them ngl

but he takes the higher road with the woman, belittling and ending her with his vocabulary

and you’re pretty sure that his words hurt her more than an actual punch would 

you laugh when he compares her built to a buffalo

he then goes on to a more education lean, explaining how skin tone has nothing to do with a person, and she should adapt to modern times and stop being a racist cunt

after he ends it he goes on to find out who she is and email/call her workplace to inform what kind of employee they have

probably also goes on to make sure she wont be hired anywhere else

comforts you alot and and will get you anything you want

prob gets you both milkshakes as you vent to him about today and other racist things said to you

hates how you have to go thru any of this for simply existing

the  incident opens his eyes and he starts talking to bruce about opening a charity for ‘stop asian hate’

would shy away from the press and say you both came up with the fund

u’ll dismiss that rq and tell everyone it was all tim’s idea

all the money goes people got assaulted and paying for any hospital bills or anything needed

[saintobio]

WAIT WAIT SO MANY EMOTIONS OMGMGMGMGMGM OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL THIS;

OMGMGMGMGM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!! im so touch deprived i literally screamed. i have to read a toji fanfic where he takes care of y/n bc her husband treats her like shit. i have to. this was so intense to me. can he kiss y/n again?? this time on the lips? and then maybe the lower lips?? KSPSPSPAS im truly in love with toji. crazy how i got more excited over him kissing y/n’s cheeks than satoru kissing y/n.. i think its bc i know that he’s still with sera and has the audacity to still refer to her as his lover… fucking pathetic.

FLIRT MORE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU!! every time he touched y/n i had an orgasm bye. how can he be so fucking attractive?? im in love with that man.

wait until sera learns about this😹😹😹 she gonna be even more broken which is everything i want.

that sounds very familiar… doesnt it satoru?? ai can your beautiful self please explain to me how this mf doesn’t see that’s literally him and sera?? how can a person be so blind for fuck’s sake. even geto mentioned it.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS WRENCH! how can she also say something about y/n when she is the mistress?!! wtfff?!!!!!? when i saw this my head started hurting. what a fucking bitch bro. the audacity.. THE AUDACITY!! ima take this as a racist offense since im a poc and an immigrant. i hate that bitch so much. she triggers me. like the fucking audacity bro. im honestly speechless ai. the audacity of these mfs to get upset.

“the wrong idea” now now y/n… lets be honest sweetie… you know you wanna fuck that masterpiece of a man.. just a one nightstand. he’s the one she should be calling daddy😩😩 he’s such a dilf. so fucking fine.

ATTENTION SEEKER ALERT‼️ATTENTION SEEKER‼️ATTENTION SEEKER‼️

i just know she did that shit on purpose bro. she’s everything bad she claims y/n is😹 i cant believe satoru still has the fucking audacity to tell y/n he wants her and still go after the mistress bro. he never did that with y/n.. not even when she was the one crying her heart out (quite literally). this is why i dont get excited over satoru anymore. until i see him putting y/n first place as she should be, i dont even wanna see him. every time he takes a step forward, he takes three back and im real tired of it.

sorry for the long rant but this episode was so beautiful. im so happy to see y/n sticking up for herself and seeing toji is such a joy.. damn i truly love that mf bye. but something i asked before and wanted to ask again is if sera’s dad is the abusive alcoholic type? he doesn’t give me those vibes but i wonder since she seems to despise him so much.

GAHAHSH I LIKE THAT U HAD SCREENSHOTS !! thank u sm for reading and sending ur thoughts abt the last chapter <33 hope you’ll enjoy the next one too :)

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[lukesperfectharmonyhair]

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are. 

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss* 

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience. 

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie 

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums. 

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary 

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD 

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious 

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk 

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite 

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on 

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

 - julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face 

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani 

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous 

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR 

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i 

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG 

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too 

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU 

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

[chokemeanakin]

I had a sudden thought. So I haven’t had my period in over a year (yay IUD). But I had the absolute worst mood swings and the first 3 days the cramps would be so bad I had to have some sort of heat pad. I hated not being able to have a bath.

How do you think Anakin would help with those nasty moods or cramps? I’m willing to bet he’d never leave your side and give the strongest snuggles just take your mind off of everything.

AYYOO this has been in my inbox for a long time now but I wanted to take my time with this so lo siento about the wait bb 💖

But this morning I had the WORST cramps so I think that was a sign to get my ass on it 😍

Ok so first of all, I think he’d be very very confused at the mood swings. One minute you’re fine, the next someone could literally breathe in your direction and you’d be like “yo shut the actual fuck up your existence was a mistake 👹👹👹” and he’d just be like “👀😯🤭” and not say anything at first until you probably make someone cry.

And then I think he’d kneel by your side and be like “hey baby I know you’re going through a tough time right now but I think it’d be better for everyone if you took a nap or something...”

And then that would just make you cry and cry and cry, and feel like the shittiest person ever because if Anakin mf Skywalker, King of Dramatics, has to tell you to calm down... well... you must have been awful.

And so you’re crying and trying to hide from him cause you feel so bad and blubbering all “get away from me I suck im sorry I’m such an awful person oh no” but he’s there tugging your arms away from your face and wiping your tears like “no no no it’s okay you’re okay I didn’t meant it like that— 🥺”

And then you turn to him with a tear streaked face and go “well fuck you then for making me feel like shit!!” And I definitely think he would discover you had a pretty colorful mouth at this point.

But my god he’s just confused now cause what did he say?? It doesn’t really matter cause now you won’t talk to him and you’re still crying a little but your stomach rumbles so he just gets up make you some food cause he knows you’re not actually angry at him 🤷🏼‍♂️

And then while you’re eating you’d mellow out a bit, even laugh at something on the tv. But after you finish you’d get kinda sad and grumpy again cause wtf you’ve been hopping from bed to couch back to bed for two days now and you’re getting real sick of it and there’s barely anything to watch anymore and you want a bath and the mf cramps are hitting again—

And when he sees that I think he’d take your food and set it out of the way so you can curl up with your heating pad, and he’d sit on the edge of the bed and stroke your hair for a while until the worst ones pass, yaknow the ones where it’s like if anything touches you you might combust.

And a few minutes in I think you’ll be so miserable that you don’t even care how pathetic it is to ask him to lie with you, you’ll just mumble like “can you come here please” and he’ll know thats code for “come hold me or I might die” so he gets on the bed with you and probably has you sit in between his legs so he can hold the heating pad to your stomach and rub it up and down and whisper soothing things in your ear as you tense up in his arms and ride out the cramps.

He hates seeing you that way, especially when there’s not much he can do but hold you and maybe use a little bit of the force to take some pain away but it’s not enough, or at least he thinks so.

But for you, it’s nice just to have him here because he’s saying things like “you’re okay, I’m here, I’ve got you..” and “I’m sorry, I know it hurts, it’ll be over soon” and “it’s okay you can squeeze my hand— ow okay, other hand”.

And he’s also trying to distract you, his hands on your arm rubbing circles into your skin, his lips by your neck tickling it as he talks to you, maybe holding a holopad in front of you and playing a stupid game with you.

But if it hurts too bad and you just curl up in his arms and bury your face in his chest he’ll settle for rubbing your back and holding you gently and resting his head on top of your hair as you shiver through the pain.

And you might say something like “fuck me fuck me fuck me this is so unfair” he’ll be like “I know I know I’m sorry” or “fuck you you suck” he’s like “yeah yeah I know” or “this is awful I hate everything” “it’ll get better soon I promise”

BASICALLY he takes everything in swing. Kind of absorbs all your nasty words if you’re in that mood, wipes your tears when you’re crying, and also feels really bad the whole because I will die by this— Anakin is the biggest sucker for tears. And he’ll wait on you hand and foot, get you anything you need, carry you from bed to couch to anywhere else you might want to go, holds you when you want him and watches you sleep when you don’t, etc.

And secretly you feel bad for being sort of a nightmare to deal with but you’re really trying to be nice, it’s just a shitty situation. So in the quiet moments you’ll be like “I’m sorry for all this” but he’ll just hush you and be like “I’m just happy I get to spend time with you 🥰”.

Which is like— 🥺 bro stop.

••••

On the flip side I think at one point he might get annoyed at you, crying and complaining that everything sucks and you wanna rip your organs out and “go away I wanna be miserable in peace maybe I should just succumb to the pain—“

You’ll throw your heating pad to the floor, but he’ll come barging in like “stop that, you need this” and try to put it back on you, but you’re just shoving it away and burying yourself under the covers like “no I’m sick of this lemme die” and he’s like “don’t be such a baby, put it back on” “go AWAY” “not until you put it on” “I DONT WANT IT ANYMORE 👹” “you’re hurting I can feel it” “ANAKIN MF I WILL PUNCH YOU 👹👹👹” “come out here and do it then baby 🙄”

So you rip the covers off and he uses some fkcn twai con doe move (ignore the way I spelled that I’m illiterate) to pin you to the bed and strap the heating pad back onto you and then he’s wrangling your punching and kicking limbs to the bed all pissed off but worried like “😠KNOCK IT OFF you’re going to hurt yourself!!” And then another bad cramp hits you and you kind of deflate like “ow.. 🥺”. And he’s like “I told you 😑 now come here.” And he takes you in his arms while you clutch at his robes and apologize.

Yeah u suck but he knows you can’t really help it so he tries to be patient and honestly, he’s good at it when he tries 🤷🏼‍♀️💖

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[whumpitisthen]

Récamier

Masterlist

First drabble! This was made as a way to torture my friend who has a slightly unhealthy obsession with vampires. That’s why it’s in first person, I usually write in the third! Anyways, hope you like it. :) 

"So..." - He began. He sounded soft and patient. - "You told me last week you've been having nightmares, ones you’ve never had before."

"Oh, did i tell you about that as well?" You reply, having genuinely forgotten that you told him about those.

"Yes, you have. Has your memory been getting worse as well?" He sounds almost concerned, a look of empathy in his eyes.

"Oh, no, no, I think it's pretty much the same as it always has been...?" It came out as a shaky reply, not confident in your own answer either.  

"You don't sound too sure of that, Darling.” He says, a mocking smile playing on his lips as he notices the reaction the pet name has brought out of you. It wasn't anything big, just a small widening of the eyes and setting of your jaw, but he noticed nevertheless. He seems to really pay attention to you, in a way no-one else has, in a way no-one should.

"Uhmm... I think that's not something to worry about. I just forgot, that's all.” You add with a reassuring smile, ignoring the one that he wore still, though now it's starting to morph into a different one. Looks a little smaller, tight-lipped, overly kind.

He seems to disregard your answer entirely, instead, he pulls himself up a little straighter. He takes a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes, which allows you just a moment to take a good look at him.

You never told him but you do feel kind of intimidated by him. You know you shouldn't be. After all, he's your therapist. You should feel comfortable and relaxed, like you're just having a nice chat with a trusted friend.

But something about him seems... he just seems-, off, sometimes. You yourself are not even sure what the reason for that is. Maybe it's the relaxed way he keeps pulling his finger up and down on the arm of the chair. Maybe its the slight asymmetrical pull of the corners of his mouth, how on the left side it always pulls a little higher when he smiles. Maybe its the way he looks, distinctly paler than you, almost slickly, so much so, that you had to often stop yourself from asking him "Are you okay?". Maybe... Its the way his eyes seem to change colour, with the different lighting. You have noticed all these things about him in the month you've been coming here. Twice a week. He insisted on two times, even though you said you didn't think you needed it. In the end you decided to give in, he was the therapist after all. He knew what you needed.

"You're zoning out again, Darling. Do you perhaps need a break?"

There it is again. That pet name.

He hasn't called you that before. Or has he?

Maybe your memory really has been getting worse.

"Oh, u-uhm, sorry! No, it's fine we can keep going if you'd like." He seems to believe you, as he changes his position, crossing his legs and leaning his chin on one hand, as if getting ready for a story.

"So, you said something about bad nightmares you've been getting at the end of our last session. I'd like to ask you: Have they gotten any worse?"

You still don't remember actually telling him about them and honestly it’s starting to really bother you. You always have your guard up as it is, trust issues and all that, part of why you’re here, talking with your therapist. But for the life of you, you just cannot remember when you told him about those. Because you surely have. You have. He wouldn’t know otherwise! This is stupid.

"Ah, um. I guess... I-I don't know. I feel like they leave me more... tired? Than before. And I seem to get more exhausted as the days go on. I'm afraid I'll start falling asleep at my job if this keeps up."

He hums. Writes something on his clipboard. "Do you still see that shadow person that keeps following you?"

You don't remember telling him that either. No, shut up, you did because he knows, and the only way he would is if you told him.

He seems to notice your hesitation.

"I'm sorry, would you like to not talk about this for now? We can discuss something else."

His voice feels like it's background noise. Like waking up to birds chirping. They're loud and did wake you up, but you don't mind being woken up by birds singing under your window. It's a welcome way of attention.

It calms you. It relaxes you.

It makes you feel... tired.

"We can discuss the way you've been fidgeting a little more today than other times, I have noticed. Or how you keep stuttering so much. I can see something is bothering you. Can you tell me what it is, Love?"

A different pet name, but a pet name nonetheless.

You don't remember him calling you that before.

You don't remember.

You.

Dont-

"How do you know?"

You blurt out without thought.

You immediately regret it, but ultimately decide to keep the question in the air.

Because you cannot explain away the feeling of anxiety at every mention of those dreams, or pet names, or, or- ...you. It feels wrong, in this moment, to talk about you. It sounds dumb, these are your therapy sessions after all. It feels wrong though. Different. Like this isn’t how it was supposed to go. How else could it have gone?

"Excuse me?" He looks genuinely surprised. You think he might've missed the question, with how fast you blurted it out.

Before you could ask again, or rather apologize for the weird as fuck question, he continues. "How do I know... About what? About...” - He seems lost in thought, thinking about what it might be that you're referring to. His eyes land on his clipboard and stay there for a while, drifting over it. - “...about ...your dreams, perhaps?" He finishes slowly, as if unsure.

"Yes, uh... I... I don't remember t-telling about them... to... you?" You hate yourself for sounding like a scared child. You especially hate that your voice cracks in the middle of it, and you see his eyes widen, just a little, at that.

God, could you be more embarrassing?

"I told you, Dear.” - Another. -”You told me about them last week, didn't you?"

"I-I-I..., um..."

You're unsure of what to say

"I-, ...don't remember." You take a shaky breath, trying to stay calm. You notice the slight tremble of your hands.

"...You seem troubled. Are you quite sure you're alright, Darling?” - He gives a reassuring smile, encouraging you to be confident and tell him if you're not. - “Perhaps, you feel... Hm." He stands up leaving the clipboard on his table. He walks over, as slowly and non-threataningly as he can, putting the back of his hand on your forehead.

"Hm... You don't seem sick. Sweetheart,”- Again. - “maybe we should talk about those dreams. They seem to leave you confused and disoriented."

"Stop."

"Hm?"

"Get off me."

You lean back, away from his hand, and sit up to catch your breath.

He seems perplexed. His hand falls back in place as he gets lost in thought again, looking at you. Expectant. Quiet.

"Am... Am I making you uncomfortable, Dear-"

"Stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop calling me 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and 'love' and 'dear' and-, and... Stop looking at m-me."

He seems to freeze for a second. You're not sure what caused him to do that, but he seems... apathetic. Emotionless. Like he's not there, for just a moment.

He blinks once, swallows, and some resemblance of humanity comes back to him.

"I-... I am making you uncomfortable, is that it." It was more of a statement than a question. "Hm. So you say you don't remember." His eyes wander again. In the end, they come back, and change colour, and you feel like he's 100 metres tall while you're barely an inch.

The lighting didn't change, but his eyes noticeably did. You feel, with every second, more and more anxious, as the eyes keep looking at you, into you, and keep you in place.

Literally.

You cannot move.

You're trying.

The most you can do is flick your eyes betweeen his.

He comes closer now. His hand finds your forehead again, but this time to put a lost lock behind your ear.

He doesn't say anything, simply looks at you. All of you. While you're forced to keep eye contact, his are roaming over the whole of you, taking in every inch, every crevice, every nook and cranny.

As his eyes move the humanity seems to disappear once more and the hand returns to rest on your cheek, then slide down your neck.

As the pressure builds his other hand comes into view, positioning itself on your arm, effectively turning and pushing you down, back how you were before you realised his secret. Because you did, didn't you? You couldn't have just kept playing this little game of pretend between you two. You had to be smart and figure it out.

As you are shoved down back on the récamier, your thoughts are running a million miles an hour. You are panicking and scared and angry but mostly you just wanna run home, curl up under your covers and cry.

The feeling of having forgotten so much makes you wanna break down right there, but even that is denied of you as your "therapist" looms over you, shadowing your face. In the dark, his eyes, that scarlet hue, is so much more noticeable and unsettling.

How do his eyes go from such a pretty black to that mesmerising crimson? That cannot be human.

He leans down, close, close, right over you, so close you cannot see anything anymore but his eyes, boring endlessly into yours.

"Do you know when our last appointment was?"

You think and you feel like you know but you can't actually name the day, date or even time. Not that you could anwser him, not like this.

"Do you feel as if your mind has been working more different than before?"

"Do you feel unsafe, Angel?"

He leans closer, lips grazing your ear as he whispers, even quiter, like a deadly secret.

"Why did you have to ruin our fun, Angel? Wasn't it nice? Pretending? Playing? Why did you have to ruin that, huh, Sweetheart?"

As his voice starts to shake, a little in anger, a little unhinged, a little dangerous, you start trembling through his paralysing gaze.

You still don't remember anything. Not when the last appointment was, not when you told him about the dreams, not when you got here, not where you live, not who he is, not when your own birthday is, not your own name, only Angel, Angel, Angel...

"Does the shadow person ever... touch you? Has he ever talked to you? What did he say? Can you recall? What was it, hm? Tell me Love."

You don't want to. You don't want to you don't want to-

"A-A-Angel..."

"Yes, Love, keep going."

He was suffocating you

His sheer presence.

"A-a... Ang-gel, can y-y-you... can, you-..."

"That's it, keep going, you're doing great, Dear."

"Ange-el, can, can you-u-... can you c-...can y-you come see me-e...?"

"Mhm. There we go. There's a dear."

You feel violated. You feel him climbing on top of you, his weight effortlessly pinning you down even more, as he leans closer. You feel utterly completely absolutely terrifyingly helpless.

"See? In the end, you did remember!" He seems to sound different. He sounds like he's holding something back. Like there's a dam that's about to break and let the water envelop an entire city underwater. Like he's about to swallow you whole.

"Too late now, though. Shame. I was having fun with you. Too bad it had to end so soon. Now, maybe if you look desperate enough, we could do it again sometime? Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Now keep still for me, Angel, this might hurt just a bit. I feel it's only fair i make you pay for wasting my time like that."

[iridescentides]

okay. hsmtmts episode 3 thoughts under the cut

YES i always start with gina, and what about it??? i would die for her. anyway im CRYING over how she thought her mom forgot about her like? youve been gone for like 2 months, literally what parent would stop caring that quick? she doesnt think she deserves love like literally most of the time and my heart is ACHING

i came into this episode knowing the chocolates would be a bait and switch bc the preview 100% wanted us to think it was ricky. and yet i still caught myself believing he did it for a second there. i was looking forward to some good rina content this episode and i cant believe i let myself get bamboozled. like the conversation was nice but completely one-sided, and he ignored her to call nini; i get that hes literally in a relationship but im not a huge fan of how he just stopped giving a shit about gina once it wasnt romantic anymore? like,, they couldnt even stay friends?

generally my thing about rina isnt that i think its some big spectacular ship, but moreso that i always go for ships that make my favorite character the happiest. so most of my rina shipping comes from seeing how ricky was the first person that gina was so happy and open with, and how she trusts him even though she trusts literally no one ever and she just self-discloses around him unprompted. the infatuation and crush part on gina’s side is the part i like. but ricky? annoying n flaky as shit

random offshoot but i wouldve loved to see the chocolates come from ej. it wouldnt have made sense just based on the episode we were given, but what if gina and ricky had had that conversation in the hallway and ej overheard them and wanted to do something nice for her since he didnt have a gf to buy stuff for this year? could you IMAGINE? i know im gonna be complaining about how theyre throwing ej away all season but like seriously @ writers we get it youre getting rid of ej in s3. no need to cut him almost completely out of the show in s2. please someone give my man some PLOT im dying

ashlyn telling gina “i wish i could give you a valentine” is simultaneously gay and reeking of straight people nonsense. you can give your friends gifts on valentines day??? i didnt receive a romantic valentines gift until i was 17 years old but i still got stuff from friends every year? umm

speaking of ashlyn i get the track that theyre trying to go on by making it seem groundbreaking that a disney princess role went to someone whos not a size 2 but like. shes still a white woman and im tired. plus theyre dancing around it anyway. if you wanna give her body image issues then just fucking commit. half assing that conversation helps no one.

redlyn was very cute this episode. im still annoyed that theyre getting so much time and focus this season but like. i am a big red stan. the song in the credits was cute too

speaking of, tell me why they literally crammed all the songs at the end of this episode??? i was honestly thinking they wouldnt have any songs this week, thats how long it took

kourtneys beauty and the beast was pretty. also i know theyre gonna make howie her love interest bc clearly if a boy and girl on tv interact for more than 2 seconds it has to turn romantic. im pre-annoyed. 

the ricky/nini plot didnt make a ton of sense bc... why didnt ricky just... hang out with her in the waiting room at the hospital? i am very confused as to why they had to make it so angsty and tropey like. youre literally in the same city and theres an easy solution here

im wondering if theyre gonna try to make miss jenn and mr mazzara a thing? im on the fence about how i feel about that tho. but i am annoyed that they didnt show miss jenns conversation with rickys dad at all

theyre making carlos so annoying this season, like idk whats going on or why they thought they needed to phone it in with his characterization this time around but like. what even was this seblos plot?

kourtney and seb conversations are always cute so i loved the piano scene

back to kourtney for a sec: why would big reds parents hire her as manager? why are they picking inexperienced teenagers for leadership roles? if nothing else, if howie has been around forever, why wouldnt they just promote him to manager??? instead of someone who has no idea how their pizza shop works like. i get that theyre trying to #girlboss kourtney this season, but was getting a job not enough growth and independence?

overall my biggest Gripe™ with this episode is that there wasnt enough gina or ej. and i get that its a big cast and not everyone can be the focus every time but literally when did redlyn become such a big priority to the writers? why are they getting so much screentime? i dont hate them or anything but like, i thought the main main characters were supposed to be nini, ricky, gina, and ej. so why is one of them getting like,, two lines per episode? im really out here picking up little ej crumbs like they wasted SO much potential with him as a character