#i literally have never played the game but i just spent the last hour or two watching clips of him and him only

[demonxblood]

was no one going to tell me that these are the same genre of character?

[rosenfey]

okay I've reached the new kisses on my run and I can say that they are everything I ever wanted and more

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[cameronspecial]

Let Me Take Your Boat Card, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: SMUT

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: Rafe continues to make their Spring Break interesting with his bucket list item.

A/N: This was suggested by the lovely @mellillasstuff, who I love to talk about Drew Starkey with! I hope you like it, Babe. The gif is special for you.

Masterlist

They spent the day in Mykonos, Greece and now, the yacht is drifting to Turkey. Their last Spring break of their lives is coming to an end in a few days and Y/N and Rafe are trying to make the most of it. Rafe sees this trip as the perfect opportunity to fulfill a bucket list item for him. “Come on. Let me take your boat card, Angel,” he begs, walking over to her on the bed. She shakes her head with a giggle, “That isn’t a thing, Rafe. Plus, we literally had sex this morning on this boat, so if it was a thing, then you’ve already taken it.” “It’s not the same. It’s not boat sex unless it is on the top deck and out in the open,” Rafe argues. He jumps into bed with her, making the mattress bounce under both of them. Her hand finds his cheek, “What kind of weird fraternity shit are you making up, Rafe?” He kisses the palm of her hand. “It’s not a weird fraternity thing. It’s… it’s kinda a fantasy of mine. Making love to my angel under the stars in the middle of nowhere with the sound of the waves keeping us company. It’s just you and me.” She, of course, wants to help him achieve his fantasy and it honestly sounds so romantic, but she can’t shake the feeling of being caught by a crewmate.

“Rafe, as nice as that sounds, what if we get caught.”

“Don’t worry, Angel. We are the only ones on the boat. I got the crew to take a boat out to the land for the night. They’ll be back in the morning to take us to our next city. If you really don’t want to do it, then that’s okay but I just thought it would be fun.” 

“I’m a little scared for our safety that no one can take drive the yacht, but I think it would be really fun too. I hope you have a captain’s hat because you are about to take my boat card.”

———

Y/N’s fingers graze the bottom of her dress, taking confident steps up the stairs. “Captain, how much longer until we reach port?” she calls out as innocently as she can. Rafe looks over his shoulder at her with a captain’s hat on his head, “A few more hours, Ms. Y/L/N. Is there something I can help you with?” Her arms swing from in front of her to behind and she walks towards him. “That’s so long… I don’t know how I’m going to fix my problem,” she laments, bringing her hand to play with her hair. 

“Well, what’s your problem? Maybe I can help.”

“I don’t know… Captain. It’s kinda an intimate issue.”

“Come on, Angel. You can trust me. I’m the ship’s Captain.” 

Her hands move up his chest, meeting around his neck. She grows impatient with this game and starts to unbutton his white shirt. “You’re restless tonight, Angel,” Rafe chuckles, bringing his hand to rest on her bum. She nods, “Very, something about that hat is doing something to me.” “Wow. Never thought my angel would be turned on by a man in uniform,” he teases. His hand moves up her bum to untie the bow of her dress while she begins peppering his bare chest with kisses. His fingers lace through her hair, pulling her back from his skin. They look at each other with a grin. “I can’t keep playing this game anymore, Captain. I just need to feel you,” she mutters. He brings his lips to hers and pulls her dress off of her body, “Me either.” Once the cool ocean breeze meets her skin, Rafe walks her backwards toward the couch. The back of her knee meets the cool leather and she lies down with him on top of her. 

He kisses her on the lips, moving his hand down the valley of her breast to the top of her underwear. He grins to himself when he sees the moon glint off of his Greek letters that have been resting between her boobs since their sophomore year. A finger delicately lifts the fabric and continues its descent until it meets the wetness of her pussy. “Is this all for Captain Rafe, Angel?” She nods her head, itching for him to keep going. “Nuh-uh. Angel, you know I like it when you use words,” he tsks and removes his hand from where she needs it. 

“Captain, please. Touch me,” she begs, grabbing his wrist to bring his touch back. He growls at her words, “Enough of this Captain shit. I want you to be screaming my name to the sea, Angel.” He takes the bill of his hand in his hand and throws it somewhere on the deck without another thought. It’s one of the reasons she doesn’t have a nickname for him. It wasn’t for lack of trying when they first started to date. Rafe is so possessive of her that the thought of her calling him anything other than his name drives him to become the green-eyed monster. He pulls down her underwear and throws it with his hat, getting to work on making her feel good. His head buries between her legs, lapping up the mess he created. “Oh god, Rafe. This feels so good,” she moans at her normal level. Rafe always encouraged her to be as loud as possible, teaching her to not care about the other frat brothers, who might hear her sweet melody.

“Angel, you can be louder. There is no one around,” he reasons. She listens to his words and screams as loud as she can to please him. His mouth works on her clit as his fingers enter her hole. They curl to hit her G-spot and she tugs at his hair to get him to keep going. He quickly moves his fingers in and out of her. With every move of his finger, it brings her closer to her orgasm. Her fingers pull at the root of his hair and that’s how he knows she is about to cum. He pulls his fingers out of her, causing a whine to leave her lips. “Nope. Sorry, Angel. You are coming around my dick tonight,” he informs.

He stands up to pull off his shirt and his hand removes his belt in one fluid motion, which always makes Y/N’s thighs clench together. She sits up to help him take off the rest of his clothes and he lets her. She sinks to her knees in front of him, butt hitting the couch cushion. Her hands begin to pump his length. Saliva pools in her mouth, so she can spit it onto his dick. She slides her hand up and down his dick, listening to his groans. “You are doing so good, Angel,” he praises. His hand finds the back of her head and pushes her onto him. She takes him into her mouth, letting him hit the back of her throat. A hand remains at the base to pump what isn’t going in her mouth. She pulls herself off of him, so she can circle her tongue around his tip. She can taste his pre-cum. He decides he is hard enough for her and brings her back up so she is facing him. He lies her down on the couch again, kissing her lips. The mixture of their juices makes both of them want to moan. 

She watches as he brings a hand down to his cock to bring the tip to her vagina. He enters her inch by inch to let her have time to adjust. He has no more to offer her and waits for her to tell him to begin his thrust. “Please start, Rafe,” she states, bringing her forehead to his. His hips move back so just the tip is still inside of her and then eases them back down to meet the top of her pelvic bone. They normally like their sex fast and hard, but the moment felt right for something slower. He repeats the motion, enjoying the way her arms round his back to mark it up.

She may be his angel, but she has nails like the devil. He can feel the dig of her nails as she drags it down his back in an attempt to bring him closer. Being chest-to-chest with him doesn’t feel like enough to her, so she rounds her legs around his waist and helps meet his thrusts. It feels like the sounds of the skin slapping against each other and their groans echo out to the sea, yet she knows it is all in her head. She brings his hips in faster during his next thrust with her feet. He gets the message and deepens his thrust, feeling the way she begins to cling to him as she does. With her walls squeezing him, he knows he isn’t going to last long. Determined to make her climax first, he brings his hand down to her bud and starts to rub it in a circle. Y/N’s orgasm washes over her with his help. The feeling of her cumming around him causes him to twitch his seeds into her. He continues his gentle thrusts to ride out their high, stilling once they are both done. 

He slips out of her and lies beside her. She turns to face him, bringing his arms over her. He tightens his hold on her and gives her a kiss to the temple. “I don’t think roleplay is for us,” he observes, thinking back to how they didn’t last very long in the charade. She giggles with a nod of her head, “Yeah. I’m too impatient and you are too possessive to let me call you anything else other than your name. But I’m glad you convinced me to do this. I enjoyed giving each other our boat cards.” 

“I hate to have to tell you this, Angel. But I don’t have my boat card.” 

“Wait, if I’m not taking your boat card, does that mean you’ve done this before?”

“I’m from the Outer Banks, Angel. What do you think?

Taglist: @loves0phelia

[ap3arll]

☆loser!ellie hcs pt.6☆

part 1. part 2. part 3. part 4. part 5.

warnings: modern au, loser!ellie, fluff, slightly suggestive🔥(not really🤥), established relationship r n ellie, not explicit whether the r is fem or masc, all of these are just self inserts, some silly and random, the last one is a little not.., anyway…i think that’s it? yeah?

note: was feeling silly(literally everyday)lately and cooked these up

daily clicks. don’t buy tlou. read this. and this. help palestine

☆ ellie loves little intimate moments between the two of you, and they don’t even have to be like 😈, just like a kiss, or holding hands, cuddling, doing things together. it just makes her feel closer to you, and love you even more then she already does if that’s eve possible tho??

☆ i’ve talked about this before but, i saw this pin in a thrift store a little while ago and it was an ‘i ❤️ my gf’ pin and i just know if ellie got her fingers on that she’s pinning it onto her bag or jacket and walk around with it high and proud.

☆ ELLIE WOULD DEFINITELY SING ‘my kind of woman’ by Mac deMarco TO YOU. OMGGGGGG do I even need to say anything else she just loves you so very much that she can’t even put in words so she sings you that song and GHDHDBB

☆ ellie loves hugging, like she might actually die if doesn’t get to hug you every time she sees you. it’s really cute too, because like, idk, but i just need her to hug me. and the hug won’t be too tight like a normal hug, but she’ll hold you for so long omgggg. the two of you could be somewhere like a party and she hug you and not let you go until she thinks she’s had enough hugging(literally never) and she’ll just wobble side to side, slowly and, UGHHHHHH

☆ ellie loves to lay on top of you, specifically on your back. like you could be laying down on the bed or the couch and ellie would just lay on top of you. and maybe some humping no because who wrote that👀🤷‍♀️😅.

☆ i feel like ellie loves yelp, she loves to leave a good(not always) review of a restaurant or wherever she was. and she’s just be so brutally honest that it might even come of as rude, but it’s okay because she’s just a girl🎀

☆ definitely sends you these through out the day or just when she’s feelin extra silly and goofy🤪😜😝

☆ i just know ellie loves to play indie horror games. like they’re so fun and scary. and she could be like playing them, with you right next to her and she’ll say “this isn’t even scary” and then next jump scare she screams like she’s being stabbed to death😹

☆ yk that fairy trend on tiktok from like a million years ago, where you pretend to fly like a fairy but like only show your feet. i can 💯% see ellie doing that. like she’ll have a whole ass secret fairy acc and everything. she was a fairy🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ yk what I’m talking abt??

☆ personally i can see ellie working at like best buy or the home depo, wearing one of those vests with her name on it, and it’s so cutee. like one day you just came in looking for something and went up to ellie for some help and she helps you because obv like your so hot who wouldn’t??? and then would spent an hour explaining something to you…🤤🤤in her soft raspy Ellie voice🥵🥵😼

☆ I feel like Ellie definitely does the dad pose without knowing she’s doing it

☆ ellie definitely film’s little blog of what she is doing and sends them to you. she probably used to make them on snapchat when she was younger and they have her baby voice and she cringes at herself but you find it very cute🫶

☆ prefers tap water over filtered water.

☆ takes screenshots of things she thinks she’s going to need in the future/or needs to remember and just forgets abt them and then complains abt not having any storage on her phone.

☆ HEAR ME OUT OKAY HEAR ME OUTTT🙏🙏🙏 i feel like ellie definitely has some CRAZY hear me outs… like ummm the green and the brown m&ms, uhh wtv her name is, nala, mrs. potts from beauty and the beast(1991)………., this girl also dk her name, the tooth fairy for the rise of the guardians.., lola from the shark tale… dick me down no who said that???😅😰 ANYWAY ummm that was definitely not me speaking… i have more, BUT i going to stop RIGHT here for your own safety..

[bradshawssugarbaby]

Home For Christmas - Jake Seresin x OC

A/N: This is my entry for @bellaireland1981's Winter RomCom Writing Challenge, with the trope childhood friends. I was watching a lot of romcoms last night and felt inspired, it's definitely heavily influenced by 13 Going on 30, Just Friends + Sweet Home Alabama. (I realize only one of those is set in the winter, but I digress). I'm debating a part two/epilogue as well, if anyone is interested! Also super proud of this one, because it's the longest fic I've ever written.

pairing: Jake Seresin x OC

warnings/content: none, lots of fluff and pining. Jake's been promoted to Captain. Probably a lot of inaccuracies.

word count: 7.7k (literally my longest one yet, I'm sorry)

tagging anyone who might be interested: @littleenglishfangirl, @floydsmuse, @sailor-aviator, @mamachasesmayhem 🤍

December, 1999

“Jake! Jake, wait up!” 

“Run faster then, I gotta get home before the street lights come on or my mama’s gonna be so mad she won’t let you come over tomorrow!” 

“Jake, your mama’s not gonna say no to me comin’ over and you know it.”

“Jenna, how you ever gonna keep up with me when I join the navy and start having to run a few miles every day?”

Jake turned around to face you for a moment, running backwards with a grin plastered on his face, his baby-faced cheeks red from the cold, his green eyes full of mischief as he watched you try and keep up with him. His sandy blonde hair stuck out slightly from underneath his Dallas Cowboys baseball cap, a handmedown from his older brother that he rarely left home without since Matt had given it to him. He stopped running, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, the cold air stinging his throat as he panted. You finally managed to close the distance between the two of you, raising an eyebrow as you panted, your own cheeks ruddy from the combination of cold winter air and physical activity. 

You and Jake had been best friends as long as you could remember. In eleven years, you couldn’t name a single time where the two of you had as much as had a disagreement, or went more than a few hours without talking to one another. Your mothers had been best friends in high school, and you two were destined to be best friends since birth - born four days apart in the same hospital, living on the same street and having your first play date at 10 and 7 days old. Jake was four days older than you, and he never let you forget it when it came to matters where age or maturity played a role. However, where Jake had four days more experience in the world, you had multitudes more experience in dealing with hardship than any eleven-year-old child should have. 

Where Jake had the picture-perfect family - a mom, a dad, an older sister, an older brother and him, all living in perfect harmonious happiness, never as much as a doubt as to whether or not there was love in his household, you had the opposite. An absent father, an only child, and a mother who worked two jobs to try and make life better for the two of you, you spent almost every waking minute with Jake and his family, not only as an escape to experience the happy, blissfully carefree life he lived, but also, as a favour to your mother, with Mrs. Seresin often volunteering to care for you when your mother had to work late or work on weekends. 

You were at the Seresin home almost every night, with Jake’s mother fussing over her best friend’s daughter, helping her lifelong friend however she could in guiding her little girl, you acting as the surrogate daughter that part of her had always wanted. Jake’s father trying to fill in the blanks where your father had lacked - offering to coach sports teams and including you in games of catch with Jake and his brother, taking you and the boys to get new baseball gloves or soccer cleats when needed, taking the three of you for ice cream after a big achievement in life. Jake’s 16 year old sister, Bethany, would take time to do your hair in the mornings before school whenever she had a chance, offering to do it in all the fun styles she and her friends wore, the kind you were often envious of, passing you old tubes of lip gloss she had lingering around in her backpack on your way to school, encouraging you to use them to your hearts content.  Even Matt, who at 14, thought his brother and his brother’s friends were the most irritating beings in existence, had offered you old sports jerseys of his that no longer fit, teasing you the same way he’d tease Jake, treating you like the little sister he never had. 

Until this past summer, you found yourself wishing most days that Jake’s family would just adopt you, let your mother move in with them and the two of you could just officially be a part of their fun, bustling family that served as your cheerful escape from life. However, when elementary school ended in June with middle school looming around the corner, Bethany had pulled you aside to talk to you about the transition between schools. 

“You know, middle school is…different. It’s not bad. It’s just…things change sometimes. You and Jake might start going on dates with people from school, and it might change your relationship. It happens,” She’d said matter of factly, not mincing words as she shrugged her shoulders, fixing her frosted eyeshadow in the mirror before turning to face you again.

“You might even develop feelings for each other.”

At the time, her words didn’t hold meaning for you. You and Jake had been best friends since Jake was four days old. Your moms were best friends. You practically lived in their home. There was no way things could change between you. You could never have a crush on Jake. He was Jake, the boy who would hide under his mama’s kitchen table with you and a flashlight, swapping baseball cards with one another, the boy who, when you were six-years-old, you’d witnessed eat an entire package of Oreos, then laughed at as he proceeded to throw up an hour later from the sheer volume of chocolate-vanilla sandwich cookies he’d consumed that day. Jake could never be someone you’d have a crush on. He was your best friend. That would never change.

It was two weeks later when Jake had been on the baseball diamond, pitching an inning of Little League with you in the stands watching on. His baseball cap had been flipped backwards to mimic one of his favourite major league players, his green eyes narrowing in concentration with every pitch he threw out. His golden blonde hair poked out the front of his baseball cap, much like it was doing today, on this cold January evening. His focus was on nothing but baseball, while yours was on everything but when it came to him. When he happened to look your way during the game, you felt a weird feeling in your stomach - a bubbling sensation, like nerves that couldn’t be settled. Your cheeks flushed, turning a pale pink as they became warm to the touch, reddening slightly as you felt Bethany’s gaze fall on you, a grin forming on her face as you proved her right about how your feelings were evolving for Jake. 

Since that day, you’d found yourself continuing to crush on him, each day your feelings grew deeper and more intense than the day before. At this point, you almost swore you could see yourself marrying him one day. You had to admit, you knew everything there was to know about him, you always had fun with him, and he was always happy to see you - you were convinced you two could be as happy and as in love as his parents were someday when you and Jake got older. You’d never tell Jake, you just hoped and prayed that he’d realize one day that he felt the same way about you as you felt about him. You knew there was always the chance that it might not happen, but you didn’t want to think about that.  In fact, as far as you were concerned, you hoped that there was never a day where Jake didn’t love you as wholeheartedly as your little eleven year old self loved him.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ 

Present Day

“Jake, please, come back. I miss you,”

“I miss you too, Jenna, I’m coming home to you. It’s always been you.”

The ear-piercing screech of your phone’s alarm blared from your nightstand, interrupting your dream as it screamed at you. You rolled over in bed, groaning as you clumsily stuck your hand out, feeling around on the wooden side table for your phone to silence it and allow yourself a few more moments of peace and quiet before you had to start your day. The last think you wanted right now was to let this dream slip away on you - it was the closest you’d ever find yourself to Jake professing his love for you after all these years, and you clung to it whenever it cropped up in your mind as you slept. 

Jake had always been the one-who-got-away for you. You spent your entire middle school years trying to hide your feelings for him, refusing to break until he said how he felt first. You were 13 when he got his first girlfriend, Tiffany Donaldson, a girl in your class. Tiffany was pretty and popular, something that you couldn’t claim for yourself in either case - growing up with Jake, you were seen as more of a teammate or a sister-figure than anything else, despite his sister’s best efforts to help you shake that connection somewhat. After Tiffany, you two had begun high school, and Jake made the football team, and the baseball team. As the school’s star runningback and starting pitcher for the varsity team, Jake was popular beyond words. No one could hold a candle to him, and as his popularity soared because of his athletic prowess in school, you faded further and further back into obscurity, the limelight falling from you and onto someone new each time Jake began dating another girl. Eventually, by the time graduation rolled around, you and Jake had all but fallen out of touch with each other outside of family get-togethers shared between your mothers. 

You had just worked up the courage to tell him your feelings at the graduation party Jake’s parents had thrown for you both, convincing yourself that it was perfect timing - Jake had accepted an offer at the University of Texas at Austin, keeping close to home as he planned to study finance, his secret talent having always been math. You’d accepted an offer to study communications at the same school, and with both of you remaining local, it would be the perfect time to tell him how you felt and attempt a relationship with him, or so you thought.

Before the words could even leave your mouth, Jake was excitedly pulling you aside at the party, stopping outside of his childhood bedroom, the place where the two of you had often played as kids. His green eyes were full of excitement as he looked at you, causing your heart to race as butterflies fluttered in your stomach, making it hard to concentrate on his words. You almost didn’t hear him when he spoke, you were so transfixed on him. If the news had been anything else, you probably wouldn’t have even registered what he’d said the first time. You could still hear the excitement in his voice as he told you his news, and still feel the ache in the pit of your stomach as his words fell on your ears.

“I got accepted! I’m going to the Naval Academy, Jenna, can you believe it? I’m going to serve in the Navy, just like I always wanted. I’m going to be the best aviator they’ve ever seen. Just you watch.” 

Jake’s voice was practically buzzing with excitement as he’d told you his news, and it took everything you had in you to not fall apart as he spoke. While you knew he’d always dreamed of being a naval aviator, as long as you could remember, the news hit you like a ton of bricks, unexpected and hard as it rendered you speechless, leaving you nodding your head and smiling like an idiot while inside you wanted nothing more than to scream out how you felt. You knew this could never work out between you now. Your chance was gone, moving away to Maryland and joining the Navy before you’d even had a second to realize what was happening when he spoke. 

That was 17 years ago, and the moment still haunted you from time to time, more than you’d like to admit to anyone. At first, you’d kept in touch with Jake and his family, seeing Jake when he came home for holidays and such at first, but then, as you and Jake began entering your first romantic relationships as adults, you found yourselves including each other less and less in your lives. With each boyfriend you had, you realized more and more that you could never love them the way you loved Jake -he’d always be your first love, regardless of how he felt in return. When Jake graduated, he’d been stationed at NAS Lemoore, swapping Maryland for California. You’d still hear the odd update from your mother, who remained in touch with Jake’s parents, but otherwise, you didn’t ask much about Jake’s adult life. You knew he’d never married, that he’d become a Top Gun graduate, and held true to his word about becoming one of the greatest fighter pilots in the United States Navy, but other than that, you knew little about his life now. Last you had heard, last Christmas, he’d been stationed in San Diego. 

You sat up in bed, yawning and stretching your body out before heaving a heavy sigh and shaking your head to rid yourself of thoughts of Jake. You were preparing for a trip back home to Texas for the holidays, spending three weeks back with your mother, part of you wishing and longing for Jake to be visiting his family at the same time, while the other part of you prayed he was staying in California or serving a tour so he wouldn’t be able to be there while you were. It had been close to 15 years since you’d seen him, and the last thing you needed was to be reminded of how you strongly you felt. You didn’t need the help from seeing him. The memories of him were more than enough to keep you clinging on. 

Your phone rang and with bleary eyes, you picked it up, pressing the green button to answer the call.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” Your mother practically sang out in a voice that was far too cheerful for anyone to have at this hour. 

“Hi mama, what’s up? My flight doesn’t land until this evening.” 

“Well, I was talking to Mrs. Seresin about Jake, Matt and Bethany…” Your mother’s voice trailed off as she spoke, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat at the mention of Jake.

“Mhmm?” You responded as you stood up, balancing the phone to your ear with your shoulder as you folded a sweatshirt and set it down neatly on the bed, waiting to be packed.

“It turns out both of us are having our kids home for Christmas! Bethany’s coming down from Dallas with her husband and their little ones, and Matt’s coming from Oklahoma City with his fiancee, and Jake’s flying in on leave from California. He’s made his way up to Captain now, you know, Jenna. He’s made quite the career for himself.”

“Mama, I don’t need a sales pitch on why Jake Seresin is the perfect man for me, ok? He hasn’t seen me in years. He probably wouldn’t even recognize me if he saw me.”

“You never know. But I expect you to dress nicely for their Christmas party. You and I have been invited to join them, and I already said you would gladly be attending.”

“Of course you did. So Jake will be there, then?”

“I think his flight lands just before yours does today, actually. His mama and I were actually discussing if we should just carpool together to pick you both up like back when you two were in school together. Remember that? We used to take turns carting you kids back and forth from home to school.”

“I remember, mama. Don’t worry.”

“Anyway…we were talking and it turns out, Jake happens to be single.”

“Mama, why would I care that Jake’s single?” You replied, trying to sound as level-headed as possible. 

“Please, Jenna. You really think I don’t know about this crush of yours you’ve been harbourin’ for years?” You could hear the laughter in your mother’s tone as she spoke, and it stung, almost as though your feelings had betrayed you.

“Mama! I haven’t had a crush on Jake in years. Not since he left for the Navy.”

“Of course not…just, do me a favour? Wear something nice for that Christmas party, ok?”

“Sure, Mama, whatever you say.”

You finished the conversation with your mother and let out an exasperated sigh as you tossed your phone onto your bed beside you. You had to be at the airport in three hours, leaving you little time to completely reconfigure your wardrobe for the next few weeks at home in Austin. Peering into your closet, scanning the items as they sat on wire hangers in the tiny space, you frowned, realizing that nothing was worthy of a reunion with Jake after all these years. At the back of the closet, you found a black, form-fitting sweater dress that you hadn’t worn in years, but, as you held it up to yourself in the mirror, you figured it could work. Part of you hoped this reunion could be the thing that’d remind Jake of what he was missing out on for the last 17 years. 

As you finished packing your suitcase, you zipped it closed with a sigh, shaking your head as you tried to calm your nerves before getting yourself ready for your flight. There was a chance you could see Jake at the airport, and you knew you had to look your best, just in case. 

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ 

The flight from Chicago to Austin was the most painful three hours of your life. You tried to focus your attention on anything but Jake, but every movie saved on your phone, every book on your tablet, and every thought that crossed your mind was filled with him. You tried reminding yourself that he could be a totally different person from who he was when you were 18. That he could look completely different, act completely different - that he may not even know who you are anymore. The thought of Jake forgetting you was suffocating, closing in on you a little bit more every time it creeped into your mind. You took a deep breath as you departed the plane, your eyes scanning the crowd for your mother as you gripped your carry-on. Your face went white as a sheet as you saw her standing with Mrs. Serensin, both of whom waved frantically with excitement as they saw you.

“Jenna! It’s been so long, darlin’, how have you been? Your mama’s told me lots, but I feel like it’s no substitute for getting to see you in person!” 

“Hi, Mrs. Serensin! I’ve been ok, how have you guys been? Haven’t seen you in about, 15 years? I think I saw y’all the one visit after Jake shipped out, but I haven’t been home much for the holidays, Mama’s usually up in Chicago visiting me.”

“We’ve been good, Bethany has two boys now, Easton and Dylan, and Matt’s met this girl, Alexis, she’s wonderful, a real sweetheart. He’s gettin’ married next summer. “

“Oh, that’s great news!” You replied cheerfully, fighting the instinct to bite your lip as she failed to mention where Jake was at in life. 

“We better get going, Julie, Jake’s plane’s about to land,” Your mother said as she grabbed Mrs. Seresin’s arm excitedly, nodding her head.

“Oh, I thought Jake landed earlier?” 

“He was meant to, but his flight got delayed, he’s landing in a few minutes now, I think.”

You nodded your head slowly, reluctantly following behind as your mom and Mrs. Serensin led the way to Jake’s terminal, biting the inside of your cheek as your eyes followed the signage as you walked past. You tried your best to focus on something, anything, but your nerves but so far, your nerves were winning. You were terrified. What if Jake hated you for not staying in touch? What if he forgot all about you? What if you were the last person he wanted to see? What he if came through those doors with a surprise girlfriend on his arm?

“Ma!” You heard a voice call out. You looked up to see a tall, handsome man with neatly combed blonde hair, piercing green eyes and sunkissed skin. His naval uniform was still perfectly pressed without a crease on it somehow after his flight, and he looked perfect. You knew in an instant that it was him.

“Ms. T?” He chuckled as he shook his head, pulling back from his mother’s embrace as he gave your mother a heartfelt hug, before pausing as he looked at you, a warm smile on his lips as he nodded his head, his blonde eyebrow cocked upwards in surprise. 

“Jenna?”

“The one and only,” You shrugged with a smile as you tried your best to play it cool, forgetting for a moment that at 35 years old, you shouldn’t be getting tongue-tied and start giggling like a schoolgirl over a crush. The mere fact that you still had a crush on Jake was enough to make you feel like a fool.

“It’s nice to see ya, Jenna,” Jake nodded as he wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you into his embrace. You breathed in the scent of his cologne, notes of whiskey and cedarwood encircling you as his grip remained tight, yet comfortable around you, as if he was hugging his long lost friend, which, he was in a sense. 

“Nice to see you too, Jake,” You nodded once as he pulled away, a soft smile on your lips as you looked at him, trying to commit this moment to memory before it drifted away on you. 

You swore out of the corner of your eye, you saw your mothers exchange a look with one another, a secret signal to one another, as if a master plan of theirs was underway, and everything was beginning to come together before their eyes.  

As the four of you headed out to the car together, you caught yourself repeatedly stealing glances at Jake. He hadn’t changed hardly at all since you saw him last, apart from gaining some muscle, and his cheekbones and jawline becoming a bit more defined as he’d aged. He looked incredible for 35, if you didn’t know him, you likely would have guessed he was barely 30, and you couldn’t help but feel yourself fall deeper with each stolen look at him. 

“So, you’re Captain Seresin now then?” You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him, hoping to break the silence brewing between the two of you.

“Yeah, this past April! I didn’t expect to get it, to be honest.”

Jake’s cheeks reddened as he smiled at you, trying to appear modest as he spoke of his accomplishments in the Navy since you’d last seen him. He had always used to have an ego so big that it’d rival some of the aircraft around in size, especially as a teenager - he was good and he knew he was good when it came to sports. It was part of what drove the two of you apart, but around you? He was modest like he always had been before, acting embarrassed by the achievements he’d otherwise never shut up about. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Jake was nervous around you. Jake Seresin, the only service member on active duty with multiple confirmed kills, the US Naval Air Force Captain who’s served for the last 17 years without as much as a scratch on him, the man who graduated top of his class from the Top Gun program, where only the best of the best are selected to participate. Jake Seresin had no need to be nervous about impressing you. He could have impressed you by simply looking your way - but for some reason, he was nervous around you, reduced to a blushing, modest mess.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ 

“Jake’s such a lovely boy,” Your mother said as she sipped her morning coffee, eyes fixated on the news program on her television set. 

“He’s 35, mama, he’s hardly a boy now.”

“Fine, Jake’s a lovely man, he’s still just as sweet as I remember him being when he was young. He comes back to visit whenever he gets a leave and stays for a few days, and he always stops by to say hello - he even asks about you sometimes.”

“He asks about me?”

“He sure does, he asked Julie about you the other day, in fact. He was asking if you’d be home this time at Christmas. Seems you two always come back to visit on opposite schedules and never run into each other. He was saying he’d like to see you again, Jenna.”

Your mother’s words hung in the air for a moment. You took a sip from your coffee mug and furrowed your brow as you thought it over. You dismissed your mother’s words as nothing more than an attempt to set you and Jake up on a date, one that you figured Jake wasn’t going to be a willing participant of. 

“Oh Mama, hush, he probably just said that to be polite because he figured I’d be coming home for the holidays anyway.”

“Jenna, why are you always so stubborn?” Your mother frowned, shaking her head as she let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m not stubborn, I’m just…practical. I’m the only one who seems to realize the fact that Jake and I haven’t seen each other in 17 years, Mama. We’re not the same people we were when we were 18. He could be a serial womanizer with a series of broken hearts left behind waiting for him in California for all I know. He could have 17 kids by different women, or be a serial killer, Mama. I literally know nothing about him anymore.”

“Jenna Elizabeth Taylor, you’re just being ridiculous now,” Your mother frowned as she shook her head, sighing, “I think Julie would have mentioned it if Jake was a father, and do you really think he’s the type to go around breaking hearts for fun? Besides, how could he be a serial killer if he’s busy flying around on missions all the time?”

“You’re missing my point, Ma.”

“No, Jenna, I think you’re missing mine,” She sighed, setting her mug down on the table as she pursed her lips, “My point is, I know you’ve been holding out for him for years. He’s asked his mama about you, he’s been asking if you were coming home, he stops in to see me whenever he comes home - do you really think he’d do all that if he didn’t still feel something for you?”

“Mama, I’m not going to make a fool of myself and throw myself at him, contrary to what you think would work.”

You heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, and when you turned on your heel, you stood face to face with Jake, now sporting a fitted pair of acid-washed light denim jeans and a burnt orange Texas Longhorns football jersey and a brown corduroy bomber jacket shrugged on over top. His blonde hair peaked out from behind his beloved baseball cap, you’d swear it was the same one he’d been wearing since he was 15 if you didn’t know any better, this hat looked like it had been through hell and back.

He’d let himself in through the unlocked front door, almost certainly at your mother’s previous insistence or invitation. His cheeks were blushing again, his green eyes darting between the two of you, a blonde eyebrow cocked upwards as his gaze landed on you.

“Throw yourself at who?” He chuckled, flashing a set of perfect white teeth your way as gave you that same grin that he always did when you were kids. It was the kind of smile that always got him out of trouble, and sometimes, into trouble, depending on the situation. 

“No one,” You said quickly, shooting your mother a warning glance as you shook your head, a few strands of light brown hair falling free from your half-assed ponytail that you’d thrown it up into the night before for bed. You realized that Jake was now standing in your mother’s living room while you were sporting an oversized old Texas Longhorns tee and a pair of sweatpants - not ideal attire for seeing a man you were attracted to in, regardless of your protests about your feelings to your mother. 

“Right,” Jake nodded his head, but the tone in his voice told you he didn’t quite believe a word you were saying, “I know this isn’t a great time, but Ma wanted me to check and see if you and Ms. T were still able to make it tonight, she wanted me to ask in person, and she wanted me to see if you needed my help bringing anything over, she said you were bringing your famous taco dip, Ms. T? I can bring the dish over now for you if you’d like, Ma’s cleared out the fridge of anything that isn’t a necessity for the party so there’s tons of room.”

“Sure, Jake, honey, it’s in the fridge, Jenna can show you where, I just have to run upstairs and grab something to send to your mama’s with you,” Your mother said as she stood up, heading off up the stairs quicker than you could say a word, leaving you and Jake alone in an awkward stance, nothing but the sound of the morning news to fill the silent void between you, until Jake cleared his throat again before pointing his index finger towards the kitchen.

“In here? I’m sure I can find it if you need to go upstairs and get changed.” 

“I’m fine, not like you haven’t seen me in pajamas before, Jake.”

“Well, in my defense, last time we were like, 12.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen a woman in an oversized tee and sweatpants before,” You shrugged nonchalantly, pretending to be completely unbothered by the fact you felt like you were dressed like an absolute slob right now. 

“Alright, lead the way then,” Jake nodded as he followed behind you. 

You felt his eyes make their way down your body, and you swore you could hear him muttering something under his breath as he sauntered into the kitchen after you. You couldn’t make out what he had said, but it sounded almost like a “Jesus Christ” before he coughed and averted his gaze as you turned to face him. You opened the fridge and grabbed the dish containing your mom’s taco dip before setting it on the counter for Jake to take home. You raised an eyebrow at Jake as you caught him staring in your direction, a look of bewilderment on his face. 

“You good, Hangman?”

“Hmm?” Jake said as he shook his head, an awkward laugh escaping his lips as he raised an eyebrow at you, “How did you know my callsign?”

“Because it’s on the back of your jersey, genius.”

Jake raised an eyebrow as he looked down, as if he’d forgotten what shirt he was wearing today. He nodded his head and laughed as he ran a hand through the back of his hair, scratching the back of his neck as he looked back up at you. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just, uh, jet-lagged, I think.”

“Jet-lagged? Isn’t only two hours behind us in San Diego?”

“You can still feel jet-lag with a two hour difference, Jenna.”

“I’m not stupid, Jake, I know that, but you seem…distracted? Not tired.”

“I’m fine, honest,” He nodded as he shoved his hands into his front pockets, looking around the kitchen as you checked the fridge for the extra shredded cheese and green onions your mother had prepared the night before to top the dip she’d made. 

“Suit yourself, Jake,” You laughed as you set everything out on the counter for him and nodded, “If you give me five minutes to get dressed, I’ll help you bring it over.”

“Five minutes? God, I remember you taking 30 minutes to get ready when we were kids.”

“I was 12, it was 2000, I needed more time to perfect my lip gloss routine. Now I just have to put something warmer and nicer on than a t-shirt and sweatpants.”

“Fair enough, I can wait here. Your mama said she’d back down in a minute with something for Ma anyways.”

“Right, I’ll be back down in five.” 

You turned around and headed back up the stairs, sighing softly to yourself as you entered your childhood bedroom, opening your suitcase as you grabbed out a pair of jeans and a vintage crewneck sweatshirt. You tidied your hair up into a neat ponytail before heading back down the stairs to meet Jake, who was currently talking to your mother in the kitchen, his body leaning against the counter as he spoke. Jake looked up at you, straightening his posture as he saw you. He picked the taco dip up from the counter, along with the reusable shopping bag your mother had packed up of the extra ingredients. Sitting on the counter next to the food was a gift, perfectly wrapped with a gold bow and a tag written out in your mother’s sleek handwriting. Jake’s mother and yours had always exchanged gifts with one another, and it warmed your heart in a sense to see the tradition still carrying on for them. 

“So, you enjoy living in Chicago?” Jake asked, watching you as the two of you headed back from your childhood home, Jake having insisted on walking you back so you could spend some time catching up, even if just for a few minutes. .

“Yeah, it’s a change of scenery. It’s different from Austin for sure. How’s San Diego treating you?”

“It’s pretty good, I like being on the beach. I do miss home sometimes though,” He laughed softly, giving his shoulders a gentle shrug as he looked around at the street you grew up on, just a couple of blocks away from his own childhood home.

“I mean, yeah, I miss my mom sometimes when I’m in Chicago, but, I know it’s easier for me to come home and see her than for you to come home and see your family.”

“Jenna? Can I ask you something?”

“Mhmm?”

“Do you…do you regret leaving for Chicago?”

“No, I wouldn’t be where I’m at now if I hadn’t left. I have a really good career in public relations, and I’m happy with where I’m at professionally. I wouldn’t have gotten that if I stayed in Austin, just like you wouldn’t have gotten as far in the Navy if you hadn’t gone to Annapolis.”

Jake stayed silent for a minute, his eyes looking everywhere but at you, avoiding your gaze. You could sense tension between the two of you. The Jake you knew growing up was never awkward, and never stopped talking - had he really changed that much since he’d left? You couldn’t see the Navy taming him to the point where he became reserved, Jake had always been so outgoing, so full of self-pride that it often came off as cocksure arrogance, but most of the time, it was out of sheer disbelief that he’d made it that far. You looked to him, his hands firmly in his pockets as he let out a huff, his breath turning to vapor in the cool December air. 

“I should really get going,” Jake nodded slowly, checking his watch as he looked back towards the street, “I promised Ma I’d help her set up.”

“Right, right, I’ll see you in a couple hours? Mama and I’ll be there.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then,” Jake nodded, a warm smile on his features as he turned to start heading back.

You let out a heavy sigh, mentally kicking yourself as you realized you’d just let another opportunity to tell Jake how you felt slip away from you. As you headed up to your bedroom to get ready, moving quickly to dodge any questions from your mother, who was probably desperate to hear how your alone time with Jake had gone. 

You shut the door behind you, sighing again as you sat at your old vanity table, brushing through your hair and sectioning it with a claw clip as you began straightening it, trying your best to calm your nerves and make a decision on how you were going to approach Jake. You wanted to tell him, desperately, how you felt, but, part of you couldn’t help but cling to the fact you might regret it. That you might be disappointed and find out that Jake never felt the same about you, and that he never would. Or that he’d be in a relationship with someone else back in San Diego, someone prettier, younger, smarter, better. 

On the other hand, did you really want to commit yourself to never telling him how you felt? Letting the door shut on the one man you’d loved the longest, the most, and the hardest in your lifetime? Could you really be happy with anyone else? What if something happened to Jake while he was serving and you never got the chance to share how you felt? What if, somehow, there was the off chance he felt the same way about you?

As you finished your makeup, taking a deep breath as you looked yourself over in the mirror, you nodded your head. You had to tell him. There was no way you could let him go back to San Diego without knowing. You couldn’t let this go unsaid any longer, if for no other reason than to give yourself closure. If he rejected you, you could move on - or at least, try to. You could finally let go of your feelings and meet someone, and try your hardest to love them with the same enthusiastic, all-consuming love you felt for Jake. If he felt the same way, you’d apply for a job transfer to Los Angeles as soon as possible, because a three-hour drive was much more manageable of a commute to see him than a flight from Chicago to San Diego. 

This was it, you were going to finally do it. You just needed to get Jake alone.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ 

“Oh, Jenna! It’s been so long, how are you?” 

Bethany’s voice was sweet as honey as she spoke, wrapping her arms around you in a warm embrace, as if she’d been missing you for years and the sight of you reminded her of just how much.

“I’m great thanks, Beth, how are you? Your mama said you have two boys now? Easton and Dylan?” 

“Yeah, they’re 6 and 4, they’re little handfuls like their uncles, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’ve got Jake and Matt as influences for you. My husband’s not much better.” 

Bethany laughed as she gestured towards Jake playing with Easton? Or was it Dylan? Jake’s unmistakeable toothy grin plastered on his face, his green eyes alight with joy as he lifted his young nephew up, tickling him, the young boy’s laughter filling the air as Jake continued to make him laugh. Jake looked up to see you with his sister, smiling as he set the boy down on the floor, ruffling his hair with his fingers before making his way over to you. 

“Jenna! Hey, I’m glad you came.”

“Told you I would, didn’t I?” You laughed, shrugging your shoulders as effortlessly as possible as you tried to play it cool, praying no one saw through the front you were putting up.

“Hey, Jenna, can I…can I talk to you for a sec?” Jake asked sheepishly.

You couldn’t mistake the look on Bethany’s face, biting her lip to hold back a grin. You caught Jake giving her a stare that could make any person stop dead in their tracks, his green eyes practically piercing through his older sister as she tried not to laugh. As you nodded your head, raising your eyebrow at the scene unfolding before you. You followed behind Jake as he led you upstairs to his old childhood bedroom. When he opened the door, you were confronted with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. Old pictures adorned the wall, some including you and Jake as children, with ice cream covered smiles and skinned knees, baseball uniforms and halloween costumes, missing teeth and messy curls. 

“Ma hasn’t changed anything since I left home, I don’t even think she’s bought new bedding for this room.” He chuckled as he looked around the room, his large hands placed firmly on his hips as he stood in the doorway. 

“Still sleeping with those baseball player sheets you had as a kid?” You teased, eyeing the comforter on the bed, neatly made and pulled together, a sign of Jake’s time in the navy.

“You know it, I’m still a big kid, really,” He laughed, nodding his head as he pointed to a picture on the wall before looking over at you, “Remember this one? Your 7th birthday party, I think I snuck an extra little bit of frosting off your birthday cake and my mama almost killed me. She told me I had the table manners of a barn animal.” 

“You did, you used to chew with your mouth full too.”

“I grew out of it at least. I’m a little more civilized now.” Jake replied with a smirk, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to face you, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath before exhaling sharply. You could see Jake chewing at the inside of his cheek, nodding his head as his eyes met yours.

“I have to tell you something, ok?” He finally said, sighing heavily.

“I’m listening, Jake.”

“I should have told you this a long time ago, but…I love you.”

You sputtered for a moment, eyes wide in shock as he spoke. He frowned, clearly expecting a better reaction than what you’d given him. Jake shook his head and took your hand in his, stroking the back of your hand gently with his fingers, which were almost surprisingly soft and smooth to the touch.

“I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t care if you just wanna be friends after hearing this, because even though the truth is, I'm scared to be your friend, I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all. The last 17 years have been spent missing you and wishing I’d said something before I left. That I’d kissed you or held you, or said something, anything to you.” He frowned, nodding his head as he looked to the ground before continuing to speak, his voice beginning to tremble with emotion.

“I was stupid to just go and leave things there, but I’ve been paying for it ever since. No other woman has ever compared to you.”

Without another word, you gripped the front of Jake’s football jersey, using it to give you leverage to pull him in closer, your lips crashing into his just as he looked up at you to see what you were doing. Any initial hesitation either of you felt melted away into the kiss, your lips moving together passionately, Jake’s hands trailing their way down your sides to rest on your hips, pulling your body in closer to his. When he finally pulled away to catch his breath, he maintained a small distance between the two of you, speaking in a low whisper as he watched you bite your now puffy, kiss-bitten bottom lip.

“Is that your way of telling me you feel the same way? Because if you do, I want to take you on a date. And I don't care if it's in the day, or at night, or whenever, as long as it's a real date. And I wanna sit there and tell you how beautiful I think you are, Inside and out. How you’ve always been the most beautiful girl in the world to me, without a doubt. And I wanna have babies with you, and I wanna marry you, and I wanna tell you every day that I love you and I always have." Jake nodded, his cheeks blushing as he scratched the back of his neck again, waiting for your response to his rambling feelings.

“Jake, I’ve spent the last 17 years of my life waiting to hear you say that.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Jenna. I’m so sorry I made you wait.”

“Promise me something, Jake?”

“Anything you want, pretty girl.”

“Promise me you won’t make me wait that long again? I’m not sure I can wait another 17 years for you to ask me to marry you.” 

“Jenna, I swear to you, I’m not making you wait for anything ever again. I’d marry you tomorrow if I didn’t think my mama would have me committed for running off to get married three days after our reunion.”

“You’d marry me tomorrow?”

“With bells on, babe. With bells on. I’d marry you right here, right now, in my beat up Longhorns jersey, and drive off into the sunset with you in my truck if you wanted.”

“I don’t know about that, Captain Seresin,” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at him as you felt his hands caress your sides, “As tempting as that sounds, we do have 17 years of lost time to make up for.”

“And I intend to make up for every single second of that with you, Jenna. Here, Chicago, San Diego, I don’t care. I just want you. All of you, completely and totally.”

[skipper1331]

Surprise // Deyna Castellanos

a/n: based off this request.

"Did everything work? Are you on your way?" Alex asked your girlfriend.

The two of them came up with a plan to surprise you.

Ever since the World Cup started, you missed Deyna. Talking to her over the phone was just not it. Due to the time difference and your busy schedule, you only had little time for each other. Either it was for one of you early in the morning or late at night which made it difficult to have a real conversation. Most of the time it was just written messages that the other person would answer a few hours later. It was hard. You missed her so much.

Every time the lionesses would play she would send you a picture of her wearing your jersey and comment on the game. She knew you wouldn‘t answer because you were literally playing but it was important to her to let you know that she was supporting you.

"Yes, I’m at the airport" she replied, about to take a plane to Australia, to you. "Good. She‘s already in bad mood since you texted her that you‘ll be busy the whole day and won‘t have the time to text her," the defender explained, thinking back to the situation where she saw how your face fell as you read Deynas text, "i need to go but I’ll see you soon."

The call ended and about 20 minutes later, your girlfriend sat in the plane.

Your day went on without a single text from Deyna. She said she couldn't message you but you were still hoping for it. She didn‘t even say what she had to do.

You spent the day with the team, preparing for the upcoming game against Australia.

-

Standing in the tunnel about to play a World Cup semi final was a whole new experience. You were nervous but you wanted to win. You wanted to win for yourself, for the team, for your nation and most all for Alex and Lucy who never made it past the semifinals. You've known both of them for a while, played with them at City and for the lionesses. They were great players and role models, they deserved to make it to the final.

While walking out on the pitch your eyes were looking everywhere and nowhere. The stadium was full with yellow jerseys, supporting their home country. It was nice to see the matildas getting so much support but you were also grateful for the english fans who were there to do the same for you. It's great to play in your own country with a nation behind you. You had experienced the same thing last year at the home euros.

Deyna sat in the friends and family section with your jersey on as she watched you.

In the 36th Ella scored the opener but Sam Kerr equalized in the 63rd minute. The score 1-1, about half an hour left to play. Your girlfriend was nervous she wanted to see you win, to see you happy. England retained possession, little to no missed passes. Australia got hungry. They wanted to win as much as you did. You fought till the end, you wanted to help your team win.

You didn‘t know how you did it but as the long shot from Millie came to you, you tangled away from Ellie Carpenter who kind of stumbled away from you and then your foot hit the ball.

Goal! You scored in the semi final, making it 2-1 for England. Some team mates jumped on you while others hugged you, the bench going wild.

Your girlfriend cheered for you, celebrating with the english fans. There was only one task now: defend. And score If possible. Australia had their chances which stressed you out but you fought. When you had the ball you started running out of your own half, no one was attacking you. Before the australian defender could reach you, you passed to Alessia who then scored.

3-1

All England supportes celebrated while your team mates ran to the bench. You‘re feeling energetic.

Finally, the whistle blows - England made it. They‘re finalists, you‘re finalists.

Despite the win, the first thing you did was thank and comfort every opposing player. It was important to you. As you finished your conversation with the last australian you ran straight to Alex, jumping on her, your legs around her waist, "We did it!" you screamed. You felt so happy. As you celebrated with your friends you still had no idea your girl was in the stands.

Sarina held a little speech before everyone swarmed out "There‘s a suprise for you" Alex said while her arm was around your shoulders. "What‘re you talking about?" you looked at her confused.

"Look" she pointed her finger towards the stands, family and friends section, following her finger you saw it or rather her.

Deyna.

You looked at Alex, then back to Deyna. Was this real?

"Go!" Alex pushed you away from her, in the direction to the stands. Your legs started running, wanting to be close to your lover. When you were finally within reach, you wrapped your arms around her, your head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. "What‘re you doing here??" you asked, leaning back yet not letting her go.

"Surprise!"

With one quick motion, you pressed your mouth on hers. You hadn‘t seen her in weeks, couldn‘t feel her touch or anything. You just had to kiss her. "I missed you so much" you whispered between pecks, happy to feel your girlfriends touch.

Next stop: final

————————

[wing-ed-thing]

Chaotic Best Friend Headcanons with Hidan

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns, Canon-Typical Themes and Violence, Partying, Mutual Physical Violence, Name Calling (bitch/asshole/bastard)

𓆃 It quite literally doesn't matter how many brain cells you have on your own. It doesn't even matter if you have a completely different demeanor to Hidan.

𓆃 When you're together, you pass one (1) brain cell back and forth, and the base of your friendship is mutually doing stupid shit together.

𓆃 Hidan will suggest ditching an Akatsuki meeting while someone's mid-monologue, and all it takes for him to start heading toward the door is a nod and a shrug from you.

𓆃 You're constantly dip from places without warning. It's become common knowledge to keep an eye on you, but then again, if someone's keeping an eye on the both of you, it'll only encourage more of your antics.

𓆃 You're constantly hitting each other, or at least trying to. If Hidan says something stupid, it's within the nature of your friendship that you just slap him. Punch him if it's really stupid.

𓆃 He's not afraid to break out the weaponry if you're having a serious fued. All kinds of injuries are fair game.

𓆃 But no matter how heated your argument gets, they never last for long. You're making up pretending nothing happened almost an hour later, if that.

𓆃 If anything, you'll talk about the injuries you gave each other in a half-complaint and half with admiration.

𓆃 You're almost never separated, and the time you spend together is usually spent playing made-up games with obscure rules.

𓆃 One of these games, most commonly played on missions, includes the highest kill count per outing which includes bonus points based on where the kill shot landed.

𓆃 This game has been outright banned by the leadership, because oftentimes to even the score, you make kills that are outside of the target demographic.

𓆃 Not to mention how at least Hidan tends to call out his points loudly.

𓆃 He oftentimes needs his calculations corrected, and will turn combative when you imply that his numbers are lower than they actually are.

𓆃 It's likely that you'll end up engaging in combat with each other until you inevitably realize that your catch got away. Then, it's an even more insufferable game of chasing the same target.

𓆃 The survivor will meet their end while you're fighting over them.

𓆃 You'll also bicker constantly over information, whether it's right, and what the details are. Doing tasks together is almost impossible given how often Hidan misunderstands basic information.

𓆃 But for as much as you fight with each other, no one should dare fuck with either of you and expect to survive.

𓆃 Sure, Hidan can call you an asshole and a bitch, but if that random guy at the bar dares call you names, Hidan isn't wasting any time making a killing blow.

𓆃 "Hey! I'm the only bastard who can call that asshole a bitch!"

𓆃 Hidan's also down to roll with whatever idea you ever have. If you want to go burn a whole village down because your date stood you up, Hidan is picking himself off the couch and grabbing his cloak because, "What else is he going to do?"

𓆃 He's also 100% ride or die and willing to go along with the longest plans if it means fun. 3 day bender? Hidan's not doing anything else.

𓆃 Don't want to go to the club alone? Hidan already knows the bartender and can get you free drinks.

𓆃 Want to make your ex jealous and pretend you have a new boyfriend, Hidan is down for a photoshoot.

𓆃 He can be a little too ride or die. He's bound to get arrested at some point for picking fights, but it's undeniable that he makes plenty of exceptions for you and your word.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: The soundtrack for theses headcanons is "Aliyah's Interlude - IT GIRL" on repeat. I had to find this song to write these headcanons to and I set it on loop until I was done.

[neosvision]

pretty baby

idol!jeno x idol!reader

warnings: (badly written) smut, unprotected sex, choking?, fingering, that’s really it i think

word count: 1.9k

authors note: first of all minors dni… here i am once again (feeling lost but now and then) with… this. it’s not what i was planning on writing at all but i recalled hated my attempt of the list p2 and i’ve had this idea for a while now sooo. feedback as so so so appreciated as my writing could use so much work thank youu

_

the first time it happened was just a normal day, at first. wake up at 5:00am, get to the music bank building at 5:30-ish, makeup and hair should be done for rehearsals to start by 6. sometime during the day, you and your other members would film a couple tiktok challenges with other groups to promote each others comebacks. the only thing getting you through today was the fact that your manager told you that you’d be filming a challenge with nct dream, which you were particularly excited about because you thought the members were so attractive, especially jeno. you’d ran into him a few times before and exchanged greetings but never filmed a challenge or anything to prove you actually interacted.

your group was last to rehearse before the actual filming started so you had quite some time to do whatever you pleased. you and the other members spent time playing little games in your waiting room or just talking when suddenly your manager popped in and asked you and another member to come outside the room. accurate to your members predictions, you knew exactly what was happening and you literally felt like you were going to throw up everywhere. as soon as you’d arrived to the infamous music bank staircase, you saw jeno and jisung waiting, talking to their manager. this was it, it was over for you. lee jeno was standing right in front of you, you were going to have to talk to him, dance with him, AND post it for the whole internet to see. they’d both looked up from their manager, jenos gaze landing on you and staying there until your member spoke up.

“hi nice to meet you guys, i’m ___” she spoke lightly with a smile and bowed. his eyes were still locked on yours, slightly looking you up and down.

“nice to meet you guys, i’m y/n, congratulations on your comeback, we really enjoyed it!”

“thank you y/n! no need to introduce yourselves. we enjoyed your comeback too!” jisung exclaimed as he shook both you and your members hand.

“nice to meet you guys, i’m really excited to film this challenge with you.” jeno expressed, his voice deep and smooth, his eyes STILL glued on you. you were a dead woman if he kept looking at you like this.

the challenge went pretty smoothly, you and your member had already basically learned nct dreams new choreography and just added some finishing touches from the boys. the same applied to them. it was much less awkward than you imagined, jisung was so sweet to you and your member but jeno… he was acting sort of quiet. not like you��d imagined or seen him in passing.

just as you were wrapping up and saying bye to each other, jeno had slipped off and was nowhere to be found. jisung had texted asking where he was but jeno replied that he was busy and to tell you that he enjoyed meeting and filming with you and your member. you thought it was sort of strange but didn’t question it to jisung as you and him weren’t very close yet.

as soon as you walked through the doorway to your waiting room, your manager practically pulled you outside the room by your collar.

“not so fast” your manager joked.

“huh? im sorry am i in trouble?”

“oh no nothing like that, not with me at least. nct’s manager requested you go to their spare waiting room.”

WHAT. your heart was beating a million miles per hour, did you do something wrong? what happened? you couldn’t recall anything that could’ve gotten you in trouble.

your heart rate only quickened as you made the short walk to nct’s spare waiting room. knocking on the door and hearing approval from… jeno??? what was going on?

jeno was sprawled on the couch of the waiting room with a glint in his eye you couldn’t quite place. nobody else was in the room.

“oh hi jeno” you almost questioned as you looked around for his manager or someone, anyone else so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself in front of jeno. “my manager sent me here, i’m not really sure why.”

jeno was now stood right in front of you, a little too close for comfort. you stepped back and his hand immediately wrapped around your waist and pulled you even closer to him.

he looked down at you with lustful eyes.

“i couldn’t take it anymore.” he breathed, voice much deeper than before. you tried your hardest to say something back but again, your heart was running a million miles per hour. you opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out.

he leaned down to your ear, “needed you so bad. had to leave or else i wouldnt have been able to control myself anymore.” he whispered. shivers ran down your spine as you took in his words. all you could do was stare up at him, your thighs subconsciously rubbing together at his words.

“baby talk to me, i know you want it.” he tried again, the pet name triggering something in you that you didn’t even know was there.

“i-“ did you? well, yes, you did but were you really about to risk probably your whole career for a hookup?

oh fuck it. “i want it.” you whispered back just loud enough for him to hear.

as soon as he got the confirmation he needed, he knew he would get, his hand was around your throat, pushing you up against the wall of the waiting room and crashed his lips on yours. you felt arousal leaking out of you already. you knew you would need a new pair of pants before the recording. your stylist was gonna kill you but that was the last thing on your mind seeing as the man you’d been pining over for months had you pinned against a wall.

it was all too much, between his hand slightly squeezing the air from your lungs and his lips on yours. jenos touch sent a shiver of delight through your body and you let out the most heavenly, inviting moan he’d ever heard in his entire life. he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. he moaned into your mouth, sending shock waves straight to your core. lewd sounds were exchanged between the two of you until you’d finally had enough.

“need you” you whispered as you broke the kiss and his mouth went to work on your jaw, sending you spiraling with bliss everytime he placed open-mouthed kisses down to your collarbone.

“need me where, baby?” he teased as he continued kissing you everywhere, his hands exploring your body. you could barely reply to him, everything he did felt so good.

“in me.” you finally said, running your fingers through his dark hair. your back arched and you felt his dick twitch through his pants.

within seconds he carried you from the wall and laid you down in the perfect position for himself, propping himself up with his arms on each of your sides as he practically ripped his shirt off his body. you watch in awe as his defined ab muscles were revealed and did the same, stripping yourself of your top and leaving yourself in just the skimpy bra you were wearing underneath.

“wow” he muttered, leaning down and pulling you closer as your lips clashed together again. you moaned in pleaser, allowing his tongue access and deepening the kiss as your nails rested on his back, leaving marks with every movement of your hands against him. you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter as your tongues ghosted each other. slick coated your panties as he rubbed his hardening dick against your clothed core.

he pulled back and pulled down his pants, revealing his dick, red and dripping with precum already. he helped you to the same until you were laying there in just your bra.

he looked down and stared at your glistening core with awe, bringing a finger down through your folds. your back immediately arched into his touch, craving something more.

he pumped one finger in you, then two, then three, twisting in and out, simultaneously using his thumb to caress your bud. he did so little yet you were overwhelmed with pleasure.

“please” you moaned.

“you want me that bad huh?” he snickered before he used your slick to coat his dick.

he slowly pushed his aching cock into you and couldn’t help but moan out your name.

“you’re so tight for me baby” he groaned.

your bottom lip tucked between your teeth, eyes rolling back at the sensation of him filling you to the brim. jeno couldn’t contain his pleasure, moans coming one after another as he slowly started pumping in and out of you.

“f- fuck, faster.” you said squeezing your eyes shut from pleasure.

he was on the edge already, slamming brutally into you, each thrust bring him closer to his climax, the alluring sounds you made everytime his dick hit your g-spot were not helping. he continued fucking into you at an alarming pace, the both of you filling the room with the dirtiest noises.

with each fuck into you, you felt your climax approaching rapidly. it was unlike anything you’d ever felt before.

“fuck i’m- i’m gonna come,” you screamed as you felt yourself coming undone on his cock.

this only encouraged him to keep going, chasing his own high while helping yours in the process.

“come for me baby” and you snapped. screaming and whimpering in pleasure as your core pulsed around him and his own climax came shortly after, only slowing once he’d milked himself completely into you. he stayed inside you as he pulled you even closer and kissed you again, this time with much more raw emotion as if he was now taking his time kissing you, savoring your taste on his tongue. you pulled back in attempt you catch your breath to be met with jeno staring deeply into your eyes, his own filled with so much admiration.

he leaned down, lips dangerously close to your ear only to whisper, “you did so good for me pretty baby.”

suddenly everything you wanted to say in that moment had completely vanished and you were left there staring back up at him with the same admiration he looked at you with. everything was perfect, until you heard your members down the hall calling for you.

“shit, fuck.” you breathed.

you pushed jeno off of you and reclothed yourself in a matter of 5 seconds, panic surging throughout your entire body, especially apparent in your legs which could barely hold your body weight after jeno used you so well. you stumbled up and out the door in horror of someone finding out what you and jeno did in there.

you opened the door and slipped out just before your members rounded the corner of the hallway.

“there you are! where have you been? our recording starts in 10 minutes. what happened to you it looks like you were sweating?” your member puffed out in one big breath.

“ah i was.. uh i was just getting a little workout in before the recording.” you lied straight through your teeth and you could tell no one was buying it.

“we’ll talk about this later…” one of your older members said just as you heard your phone ding.

lee jeno: when can we do that again pretty baby? ;)

you huffed, smiling slightly at his persistence knowing this wouldn’t be the last time.

[hardboiledleggs]

Sneeze Hairybuns the Bard

Quick Steddie oneshot based on this post by @sharpbutsoft - Fair warning this probably won't be accurate to the D&D version they play in the show because I have the most experience with 5e and can't be bothered to look up the other editions for a tiny little ficlet like this lol. Also the poem Steve reads is "To Live Of Love" by St. Therese of Lisieux. Let me know if you'd like to be added to my permanent Steddie fic tag list :)

"D&D is Eddie's love language, Steve. You can't just Farrah Fawcett your way into his heart like you're used to doing."

Steve frowns at Dustin, causing his eyebrows to pull together.

"First off, the Fawcett Method is tried and true, don't you dare knock it. Secondly, I have literally never touched that game, how am I supposed to woo him with something I suck at?" His fingers are twisting furiously in his hair as he paces around his friend.

"Then we'll pick something you won't suck at," Dustin crows, wiggling his eyebrows. "You, Steve Harrington, will play a bard!"

"You know I don't know what that is," Steve grumbles in a flat tone. He wants to kick himself for ever having started this conversation in the first place, but even if this is a total dead-end, at least Dustin will stop trying to get him to confess his undying love for Robin.

Dustin is already rummaging through his unbelievably cluttered desk and emerges with several sheets of paper and a pencil that he has absolutely chewed the eraser off of.

"Dude, I am not fucking using your snack pencil! What the fuck did you do to that thing?"

The younger boy rolls his eyes and finds a different pencil, thankfully unchewed, and Steve grabs everything and sits on the floor with a huff.

"Fine, tell me what to do. You better not make me look stupid, Henderson. I still have that baseball bat in my car."

Steve jumps to his feet when he hears a car door slam outside. He has spent the last hour sitting on his couch and picking a nervous hole through one of the couch cushions. He makes a mental note to flip that cushion over before his parents come home next and opens his front door, bowing extravagantly to Eddie and the rest of the Party.

"Alright nerds, let's get this shit started!" Eddie squawks as he bounces through the door and shoves past Steve. "Remember kiddos, piss now because you lose two hit points every time you take a bathroom break!"

The kids file in behind him with El and Max bringing up the rear. Steve grins at the two of them.

"Don't you worry, ladies, I made snacks."

"They better not be pretzels again," Max sniffs as she drags El into the kitchen, El waving at Steve as they pass. He shuts the door and takes a deep breath, shuffling his feet on the tiled floor before following the boys into the living room where he had set up a passable D&D table.

Steve picks his way between the chairs and sweaty teenage boys to take a seat on Eddie's right, directly across from Dustin. He peers at Eddie from under his eyelashes as the Dungeon Master shuffles through his papers and jots down a few last-minute notes. Steve tries (and fails) to ignore the way Eddie's shirt is riding up and exposing his hipbones. Dustin coughs, but it sounds suspiciously like the word "Slut!" and Steve glares at him before letting his gaze fall to the character sheet he and Dustin had worked on last week.

"Alright, are we all ready?" Eddie asks as everyone files in and takes their seats. A general murmur of assent filters through the room, and Steve fights down the nausea that has suddenly crawled into his throat.

"Weary travelers! We have a new face amongst our number," Eddie begins with vigor. "Steve here will be playing..." He nudges Steve with an elbow and he jumps.

"Oh, uh, I am an elven bard named Sneeze Hairybuns." Steve fights the urge to glare at Dustin, who is giggling with Lucas across the table. "I was orphaned when I was ten and lived off the streets with just a guitar to try to make money."

"Excellent!" Eddie says, ignoring Dustin. "Let us begin."

Eddie begins to paint a picture with just his words. Steve finds himself utterly entranced with him: the way his eyes sparkle, the curve of his mouth around the word "dragon," and how sinful his hands looked as he drummed his fingers restlessly on the table and fidgeted with his dice. He's pretty sure his mouth is gaping like a damn fish when Eddie turns to him, and he snaps it shut quickly.

"Sneeze, what do you want to do? You can talk to anyone in the tavern, investigate anything you think is suspicious, or anything else you can think of."

Steve makes eye contact with Dustin, who nods, and turns back to Eddie. "I go up to the bartender to talk to him."

"Hello, young traveler. Can I offer you a strong glass of mead? We just did our monthly washing of the glasses so it should taste better than usual," Eddie barks in a gruff voice very different from his own. Steve tamps down on his anxious butterflies and leans casually against the table as if it was a bartop.

"Hiya, handsome. I think I can think of someone that sounds a little better than mead. Care to give me a taste?" Steve purrs in a sultry tone, puncturing his words with a rather gratuitous wink.

There is a chorus of whoops and "GROSS, Steve!" from around the table, but Steve keeps his eyes on Eddie. His face is rapidly changing colors, going from a pale pink to a deep almost-burgundy in less than five seconds as he chokes on the Coke he'd been in the middle of sipping from. Dustin stands up to give him a few thwacks on his back, shooting Steve a wink as he does so and mouthing "Exactly like that!" behind Eddie's back.

Eddie sucks in a deep breath with his eyes resolutely fixed on the table in front of him. His voice sounds much more like the usual Eddie as he replies, "Flattery will get you nowhere with me, traveler. What brings you and your companions to my tavern?"

"We're looking for information on the dragon that is terrorizing your village," Mike interrupts, scooting his minifigure toward the bar on Eddie's map. Eddie turns to him in relief and regales their group with tales of a monstrous beast that has been killing their livestock and kidnapping their children, and Steve shoots an anxious glance at Dustin. The younger boy shoots him a subtle thumbs up and turns back to Eddie.

Much of the game continues in this fashion. After the third or fourth time Steve opens the Party's dialogue with an NPC with a disgustingly-cheesy line about getting lost in their eyes or attempting to roll to seduce them, Erica throws her hands up and cries, "My gods, Sneeze, you can't flirt your way through a dragon fight!"

Dustin cackled, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from Max, who was observing while she devoured the bowl of popcorn she and El were passing back and forth.

"Says you, Sinclair. Our Dungeon Master hasn't stopped me yet. Speaking of, I believe I still have an action this turn?" Steve turns to Eddie, whose face has remained bright red throughout most of the campaign. Eddie nods once without looking at him.

"In that case, I would like to perform a poem I wrote for the Light Fairy." He clears his throat.

"To live of love, it is to know no fear. No memory of past faults can I recall. No imprint of my sins remaineth here. The fire of love divine effaces all. O sacred flames! O furnace of delight! I sing my safe sweet happiness to prove, in these mild fires I dwell by day, by night. I live of love!"

Steve, of course, hadn't actually written any poetry for this, but he'd read this poem in an English textbook his senior year and had liked it enough to tear it out and keep it. Mike wolf-whistles, and Dustin shoots another conspicuous wink toward Steve, but Steve hardly notices. Their Dungeon Master looks like his head might just spontaneously combust.

"Bathroom break!" Eddie's voice cracks through an entire octave as he shoots out of his seat and shuffles toward the stairs. His footsteps thump above their heads as he takes the steps three at a time.

"Maybe I'd better..." Steve trails off as he hops up and follows him. "Don't break anything or pee on the walls while I'm gone, please."

Ignoring the scuffle that immediately breaks out behind him, Steve jogs up the stairs and stops in front of the closed bathroom door. He can hear the water running inside, but not much else. Steeling himself, he knocks once and murmurs, "Hey, Eds? You alright?"

A hasty shuffling sound escapes under the door before it opens slightly, revealing a very pink-faced and ruffled Eddie Munson. Steve, mentally cursing whatever gods allowed him to think Dustin's plan wouldn't be a complete disaster, rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Why are you doing this to me? Did Little Sinclair put you up to this? Because whatever she told you, it isn't true, and honestly this is just the tiniest bit cruel because I don't ev-hhrmmMPH!"

Whatever Eddie was planning on saying is lost as Steve grabs him by the hips and shoves him backward against the ugly yellow sink before pressing their mouths together. Eddie's hands flutter uselessly against Steve's chest before finally winding their way into his ridiculous, puffy hair with a broken moan that Steve swallows greedily into his own mouth. Steve presses him further back into the counter, needing to be closer, needing to feel Eddie, and peppers his lips and his throat with kisses and bites and little licks that are driving both of them insane.

Steve gathers a handful of Eddie's curly hair and yanks his head back, giving him uninterrupted access to Eddie's throat and collarbones, which he wastes no time in completely covering with purpling lovebites. Eddie is grinding against him, hands still in Steve's hair, making the most obscene noises Steve has ever heard in his life. Neither can slow down long enough to catch their breath, and their needy pants and gasps of air are filling the room with heat.

It's only when Eddie registers the sound of footsteps on the stairs that the two men break apart in a panic. Eddie is trying desperately to arrange his curls to cover his neck and Steve is still adjusting the collar of his shirt when Will rounds the corner. He looks at them for one beat, two beats, then turns on his heel and walks back down the stairs, shouting to the rest of the group that it'll just be another second.

Breathing hard, they just stare at each other for a few seconds. Eddie is, for once, completely speechless, and Steve is just too dumbfounded that Henderson's stupid plan had worked to form a coherent thought. Eddie is the one to break the silence.

"Right-o. Cool. I'll just head back to the game, shall I?"

Steve stares after him completely dumbfounded. He gives himself another few seconds to will his traitorous body into submission before following. It takes about 10 seconds after he sits down for Dustin to make eye contact with him, and Steve tries his best to keep his face neutral, but-

"I KNEW IT! You owe me BIG, Harrington!"

"I knew it, too, you dweeb! I told Eddie like, two entire months ago to make his move. You're not special, Dustybuns," Erica snorts.

Steve sighs and puts his head in his hands, but he still locks his ankle around Eddie's under the table as he tries halfheartedly to fight the secret, pleased smile that's making its way to his face. He can't see it, but Eddie wears the exact same smile.

Tag list - @aghostcup @ask-canon-and-fanon-personified @brassreign (you said you wanted to see anything of mine that was Steddie so no take-backs)

[2myl0ver]

wish I hadn't left ☆ koga yudai

Genre ⋅ angst Wordcount ⋅ 870 TW ⋅ reader is dead (suicide), separation, regrets, reader is now 23 but died 19 Masterlist ⋅ here

Author's note ⋅ this is a bit different from my other works so if it's kinda bad it's because i'm not used to writing stuff like this! :[ I literally cried myself while writing this lololol

© 2myl0ver Copyright 2024. Do not copy, repost, or translate without my permission. ♡︎ and ↻ are very much appreciated !

every year, on the date of your death anniversary you come down to the land to stand guard of your grave.

whenever this time of the year comes around, you like to play a game with yourself – you guess who'll stay on your grave the longest.

it's been 4 years now, you've won a couple of times in the span of those 4 years. usually, it was your mother or one of your siblings. the one time you were wrong was when you guessed your sister but your best friend stayed the longest.

now, it was that time of the year again. February 17 – your death anniversary.

you sat on the grass beside your tomb and waited for people to arrive, each year the numbers of people that come to visit you get lower, but this was something you had expected the moment you wrapped the rope around your neck.

it was a cloudy day, will anyone even come? the day had just began and you were already thinking negatively, you get snapped out of this the second you start hearing foot steps and the voices of 2 familiar people.

you looked into the distance and saw it was your mother and your sister. this immediately lit you up though you knew they wouldn't last long because they hadn't brought anything with them like a picnic blanket, food or anything but it was nice to see them.

they talked to you or a bit, explaining why your father and your brother couldn't make it, updating you on things that has happened since the last time they came.

they lasted about 25 minutes before leaving, your mom didn't cry this anniversary – this relieved you. you didn't want to burden herself and this was the first year she visited without crying, this made you feel like you could move on and stop worrying about her.

an hour after they left, your group of friends from highschool came and spent 3 hours with you. seeing them again felt like a breath of fresh air, it seems like they've spent the longest today even though it was only 2pm. this year you hadn't guessed anyone as the amount of people coming to see you had lessened, it felt pointless.

but this particular day isn't the day you chose to burden yourself or drown yourself in regrets.

without notice, it was already 6pm and so far they have been the only ones to visit you. just as you were about to get up and look at other graves you heard footsteps coming towards your tomb.

you look up and see a tall, pale man dressed in black pants and a black turtle neck.

he sits down in front of your tomb before laying down a bouquet of red roses and removing his mask.

that's when realization hits you.

Koga Yudai. your first love, your best friend, your everything. in the span of 4 years, he has never visited you. you were childhood bestfriends, he left to pursue his dream when you were 15, he swore to comeback in a couple of years but being without him and having other mental problems consumed you which is what lead you to ending your life. you never got to confess your love to him

he brushes his hair out of his face, he looks hesitant – like he has so much to say but can't get any words out.

just as he opens his mouth – he breaks down crying, moving his hands from his lap onto his face.

"I-Im s-so sorry." he sobs out, it doesn't take you long to follow, tears quickly forming in your eyes.

you just sit there, staring at him with pity.

"I'm s-so sorry it took me so long to visit, I'm so sorry for leaving I-I.." he pauses, he knows he wont be able to say another word if he doesn't calm himself down.

he calms down in the slightest, wiping his tears away while more come pouring down. "I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't left, then maybe none of this would've happened. m-maybe to you we were bestfriends but to me you were everything. y/n, I was in love. maybe this is too late, and it's stupid to tell you now that- that you can't even listen but I can't live knowing I never told you. I love you, in every way you can imagine. I love you and everything about you, I wish right now I could be telling you this with you alive, in front of me but it's too late. If this is how I have to do it, I will. I went everywhere to find these flowers, I remember-" he lets out a laugh before continuing, "I remember I used to pick out the same roses from school because you'd always talk about them. remember the mystery person that left roses on your table? that was me."

you sat next to him while he rambled, telling you everything that he's achieved, also telling you secrets he did in highschool just to get you your favorite things.

he left at 11pm, just before your time came at 12am. you lost guessing this year, but it was worth it.

[animentality]

I just had the most devastating honor mode run end that I have ever had, and I'm not going to lie.

I have never been tilted by Baldur's Gate 3...until today.

And it's honestly more tilted than I've ever been at a video game...and I spent like 3 years playing fucking Overwatch...and Dead by Daylight, where the world's worst people congregate to torture one another.

The last time I was at the gith creche, I got my ass handed to me by That Prick who I am going to call Wargass. He's the bitch who tries to murder you when you don't kill the Emperor.

Last time, I almost lost the run because of his legendary move, which is the most horse shit thing in existence.

Basically, every time you fucking hit him OR AN ALLY...he summons a sword to shove up your ass. And it just fucking appears next to you, and surrounds you, so you can't escape without taking opportunity attacks.

So last time, I escaped by going invisible, and running away so I could come back and kill him by dragging him out to the bridge outside the Vlaakith room.

This time, I thought, well last time I got fucked because I was in the center of the room, and we were just taking hits from everywhere. No cover anywhere. This time, I gotta be able to position, maybe surprise enemies.

So I choose the right dialogue options, to make sure Vlaakith doesn't just nuke us.

But then I see the Astral Portal...and I think...well, what if I position myself now? And we just kill him before going into the Portal...can you do that?

And like a fucking moron...

I say fuck it, let's try it.

And uh. I don't know how many of you have ever tried this, but...when you do that?

Lae'zel immediately leaves your party.

So.

I was fucked instantly. Lae'zel is a fucking fighter, which is the second most demonic class after Paladin. She is fucking stacked and has the best goddamn gear I have, and she immediately kills Karlach using action surge. Gale also dies immediately, because he's squishy and there are a million bitches with psychic rend around him.

The only reason the run didn't end there was because I went invisible and fled.

Now I went and revived everyone in camp, but I thought ok...so I have to go back, with four people, and get my shit back...

I bring in Astarion, because I think, it'll be fine, we just need to drag them out onto that bridge...

Guess what? It wasn't fine. I had to draw Astarion and myself back, because Gale and Karlach die again. See, the fucking problem is, the normal strat of making distance doesn't work here. Normally, you can aoe a ton of enemies or have them run into walls of fire or whatever. But these fucking swords that Wargass summons literally APPEAR NEXT TO YOU. And they all take a swing, and break your concentration. Plus, even if you do manage to break them, and good luck with that, he just makes more, every goddamn turn.

So almost in tears, I swap out Astarion and pull in Wyll.

I need Hunger of Hadar, my cheese spell.

It kind of works, because I put it on the bridge, and all of his dumb bitch guards get stuck in it. But THEN Wargass, being a fucking prick, chases me around and murders me out of pure spite. Then Karlach and Gale almost kill him...but then he does his usual bullshit, of using his swords to kill everyone.

And I just...at this point, I'm just done.

Wyll can't do anything, he's out of spells. He can't even run, because there are swords near him.

I just have him take an opportunity attack, and call the run over.

And it's funny, because I'm doing an honor mode run with my buddy, where we've done basically everything wrong...but we still made it to Act 3 mostly unscathed.

With only one or two close calls.

But this is the second time my run's been fucked by the goddamn creche boss battle.

And you know... I love Bg3...but I have played way too many goddamn hours.

Need to take a break and just write porn about it, like god intended.

[honey-boyyoongi]

Pairing ➪ Reader x Yoongi||Part 53//??

Word count ➪ 2.7k

Warnings ➪ it’s not beta-ed; any mistakes are mine; cursing; alcohol; toxic family dynamics; if your name is crossed out it’s because I couldn’t tag you;

Summary ➪ Min Yoongi, is a simple man. He likes his coffee black and iced, he enjoys his job, and he loves his baby girl. But what happens when the new neighbor, quite literally, drops into his life?

A/n: Hey besties. Here’s a new one for y’all. I swear we’re not always gonna be angsty, but let’s be real it’s gonna be like this for a bit. Also thank you to all the besties that binge read this fic and WWDITS and my other works. I really appreciate y’all 💕 As always feedback is appreciated and if you want to be added to the tag list please let me know 💕

Previous Next

_

Bee

16:55

I’m dropping Haneul off with Seokjin. 

18:01

You can let yourself in.

-

Yoongi had spent hours in agony trying to muster up a proper apology. His brothers had given him the scolding of a lifetime. He knew his hyung never said he was disappointed in him, out loud, but Jungkook was another issue. His younger brother didn’t have to verbalize his disappointment, his attitude said it all. Jungkook was communicating the bare minimum needed, his face was always neutral. Yoongi felt like he deserved the youngest’s cold treatment. 

They talked as they worked. Yoongi felt like he hadn't spoken to his friends intimately in a long time. Seokjin had offered to be there as a neutral party, but they decided it was a conversation best done alone. His hyung decided to look after Hanuel instead, offering that she spend the night, in case Yoongi needed space afterwards. His brothers helped straighten his thoughts out, suggesting he make a list of his major points as to prevent any further miscommunication. Jungkook also encouraged him to be honest about his parents, Minji, and his feelings about her, if he felt comfortable of course. 

Yoongi wanted to stall going home, but his brothers had left as soon as they finished their part. Seokjin would go to his place first to receive Hani, while Jungkook picked up Jinwoo. He wanted to get lost in the pile of paperwork in front of him, but it was useless. No matter how much he wanted to avoid the situation, it would still be there the longer he stayed sitting in his office. 

Yoongi had spent the drive home calming himself down. He knew he fucked up by lashing out, and he’s not above admitting his wrong doings when he’s called out on his shit. He just hopes it’s not too late to fix things. 

-

___ has been stress cleaning her house for the last few hours. She had even made it into a game with Haneul, and the toddler enjoyed feeling included. An hour in Hani retreated into her favorite corner on the sectional, burrito wrapped in her favorite halloween blanket. By 5:15 pm Seokjin was waving her off with Hani on his hip. 

By 5:54 pm Bee had vacuumed her living room, rearranged her cutlery, fixed her spice cabinet, made two types of tea, and stress screeched. At first she was dead-set on refusing to speak with Yoongi, but after seeing her tweet, Jungkook texted her: 

“He knows he fucked up, we’ve told him why, and how he fucked up. You guys need to talk. You don’t have to forgive him afterwards, but let him explain some things to you. I’m not excusing him, or trying to apologize for him.”

Knowing Jungkook was in her corner made Bee confident. She’d hear Yoongi out for her best friend’s sake, but after this she was sure she’d be avoiding him for a while. By 6:10 pm the dial tones of her door being unlocked alerted her of Yoongi’s arrival. Bee heard the rustle of paper bags, and clashing containers. She could hear the older man flicking his shoes off, and his keys jingling. It felt like any other night when they would eat dinner together; Lo-fi was gently playing in the background, Bee had cleaned up Hani’s play corner, and was wondering if take-out or a big bowl of cereal was going to be tonight’s dinner. 

Yoongi walked into Bee’s living room, sleeves rolled up and wrinkled, two big paper bags, and his black tote bag. He quasi-lifted the bags, “Sorry for being late. I brought chinese food, and some soju to help us be a little less tense.” ___ nodded in acknowledgement, making her way to her kitchen to grab cups. 

They ate their dinner in silence, little butterflies fluttering in ___’s tummy because Yoongi had remembered her order, and that she preferred peach soju. Neither of them had opened a bottle yet, opting to save them for when their talk would officially begin. Bee pushed her spicy orange chicken around, noticing Yoongi wasn’t faring any better. He had yet to touch his sweet and sour pork, or his black bean noodles. Neither of them could pretend to have appetites. 

___ put their containers back into the take out bags, double checking that the containers were properly sealed. She came back with the chilled bottles of soju, pouring a shot for herself and Yoongi. Bee nodded at him, mumbling a small ‘cheers' downing the large shot. She cringed, waiting for Yoongi to drink his. 

Yoongi hesitated, but eventually drank the initial large shot, and quickly drank another. It looked like ___ wasn’t the only one who needed liquid courage to get through tonight. “I’m sorry,” Yoongi croaked, “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. I shouldn’t have said that you weren’t my friend. I shouldn’t have said anything horrible to you.”

“Why did you,” she asked. 

Yoongi sighed, “I haven’t been entirely honest with what’s been going on with my parents. We got into a fight, well my mother and I did.”

“What does that have to do with what you said,” Bee quipped. She poured herself another shot, wanting to keep up with the older man. 

Yoongi watched her drink her second shot. He waited for her glass to be placed down to pour another one for the both of them. They clinked their glasses together, mumbling small ‘cheers’. “Remember when I told you about Hani’s birth mom?” ___ nodded. “Well, that was the short, non-shit show version of it.” The older man poured her another shot, drinking his straight from the bottle to get the remnants. “What’s the shit show version, “she asked as she drank her fourth shot. 

Her friend scoffed, “The shit show version? Currently I'm still living it.” Yoongi slouched further onto the floor, back meeting her couch at a curve. “Minji, and I had known each other for a year when she found out she was pregnant. We had been freshly broken up, maybe a month or so when she told me. It was too late for a termination, so she decided to tell me of what she planned. Originally, she was going to give up Hani for adoption. While I respected her choice of not wanting to be a parent, I didn’t want that. I asked for full custody of my daughter. It took a while for her to accept, but she agreed. Around the fourth month mark, when she started to show, we agreed that we had to tell my parents. We did, well, Minji did for the most part. Mom couldn’t fathom a woman not wanting to keep her child, so she tried to convince Minji to stay.”

“Is that why your mom hates me? She thinks I’m trying to replace Hani’s mom,” Bee says. Yoongi shakes his head in disapproval, “You can’t replace what she never had.” 

“Your mom seems to think so,” she replied. 

“My mom,” Yoongi starts, “My mother is complicated. She thinks she knows best, even if you explain to her why you’re choosing to do something and how it's better for you, she still believes she’s in the right.” The older man reaches over for an unopened bottle of soju, wanting to pour himself another shot before he gets to the nitty, gritty parts. 

The pair drink another two drinks back to back to continue. “Mom begged, pleaded, attempted to compromise with Minji, but she wouldn’t change her mind. I always told mom to back off, this was Minji’s choice and we should respect it.”

“Were you ever scared that Minji would change her mind,” ___ asked. 

“Yes, and no,” Yoongi answered. “Back then I would’ve been ecstatic if Minji had wanted to co-parent. We would’ve figured it out, somehow. More than anything I feared that she would give in to what my mom wanted, at the time it was for her to stay against her will. Mom wanted us to be a ‘family’. I think she was trying to save face.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember when I told you about my grandparents not really being there for my aunt and mom,” Yoongi brought up. Bee nodded, egging him to continue. “Mom had to raise my aunt. My grandmother was always working, and doing who knows what, with whomever she decided was her date for the week. Now those are my mom’s words not mine. From what I’ve always been able to tell, mom always craved some form of validation that she didn’t get from my grandparents.”

“What about her father?”

Yoongi shrugged, “Dunno, s’far as I know mom’s dad wasn’t really there either. Mom said he was always working too. Grandma got remarried sometime around them being older, not really sure, we stopped talking to her when I was really young. I don’t remember much of her. Grandpa passed before I was born, so I never met him.”

“M’sorry,” Bee whispered. Yoongi reached over for the soju once more, “S’kay.” While he was busy, ___ took a moment to really look at the older man. His face had grown flush from how quickly they were ingesting the alcohol. His button up, which is usually crisp, is wrinkled. His left thumbnail has been picked at, and his hair is disheveled. Bee stands up from the floor, a bit wobbly at that, making her way to get her band aid kit. She comes back signaling Yoongi to sit on the couch instead of the hard floor. ___ cleans the picked nails, reminding herself to be gentle every time Yoongi hisses at the sting of the disinfectant wipe. She finishes him off with some hello kitty band aids, specially chosen for her by her niece. “There, now, please stop picking at them. It's bad for you, and Hanuel could pick up the habit,” she says. 

Yoongi nodded, pouting like a scolded child, inspecting his bandages. “Thank you. I’ve been trying to stop. These are cute, did you get them because of Hani?” ___ shook her head, “Nope. My niece likes to give me random things sometimes; rocks, drinks with cute bottles, stickers, cute band aids. She’s like a penguin.” The older man smiled, taking in the little designs, “I like them, might steal them from you.” 

___ scoffed, “The hell you will, those are MY special band aids. You’re lucky I even let you have some.” She watched as Yoongi let out a jovial laugh, “Okay, okay, I get it they’re yours.” In the midst of that Bee hadn’t realized how close she’d gotten to Yoongi. Their thighs were pressed against each other, shoulders were clashing, and she could feel the heat coming off of him. This close up she could see his beauty marks, as well as imperfections on his skin. His eyes were a beautiful color of chocolate brown, and were even more charming with his eyes having mismatching lids. His lips were glossy, a bit bitten, and rosy. In the last few months of knowing the older man he’d grown his hair out to his shoulders, and it drove her crazy with how good it looked on him. He’d put it up in a half bun, from how often it bothered him, but he refused to cut it. His face creeped closer, and she could smell the alcohol and mint from his daily gum chewing. She wanted to give in, to kiss the handsome man in front of her. Get lost in each other for the night hoping that it would solve everything, but it wasn’t just them, they had Haneul to think about. 

___ turned away, picking up the trash from helping Yoongi. The older man sighed, “M’sorry, we shouldn’t be doing that.” Bee nodded in agreement, “Continue with your story.”

Yoongi leaned his head back, trying to remember, “Where were we?” “Minji and 50/50 custody,” ___ answered. He snapped his fingers in response, “Right! So, mom couldn’t fathom a woman, or anyone not wanting to be a parent, she was determined to change Minji’s mind. Obviously that didn’t happen. In the last months of her pregnancy my mom tried to convince Minji that everyone is scared, blah, blah, blahh. It got to the point where my mother told me, not asked, that she would be taking custody of my daughter.”

___ stared at her older friend in surprise, “What? You can’t be serious?”

“As a heart attack dude,” he replied. “It didn’t help that I had fought with her a few days before.”

“Was it over Minji,” Bee asked.

“No,” Yoongi answered, “Remember how I said my aunt has control issues?” ___ shrugged, a little confused, but it could also be the soju not helping her memory, “I don’t, but not to sound disrespectful, if she’s anything like your mother I don’t need the runthrough.”

Yoongi splayed himself across the couch, making sure his head was facing Bee, “If you think my mom is a handful, oof, my auntie is worse. Anyways, I got into a fight with my mom over my auntie being too controlling over my cousins, I’ll tell you about that another day, but the gist of it was me feeling like my mom was trying to control my decisions. Even though I had already made a plan, was executing that plan, and had made that plan with Minji. That fight led my mother into telling me she would take custody of Hani until me and Minji got our shit together. Which made me angry, obviously, I’m a grown man, I knew what I was doing. Knowing my mother we would never get Hani back until we met her terms. She tried until the last moment to convince Minji, but thankfully she never changed her mind. The first 6 or so months of Hanuel’s life, my parents were not involved at all. Ever since I allowed, sorry, ever since my mother decided she would ‘forgive me for not taking her advice’, it has been an annoying fight of back and forth. She was always trying to push the boundaries I set, and I would push back. It hadn’t gotten as bad as it did then, than the current fight we’re in. She’s demanded custody of Hani a handful of times because I won't listen to her.”

___ felt her throat dry a bit, feeling guilty, “I’m sorry being friends with me has caused so many issues with your parents.” 

Yoongi waved his hand in dismissal. “The issues with my mother have been ongoing for gods know how long. Don’t feel bad.”

“Is that why you got mad at me,” she asked, “because I didn’t give you a choice?”

The older man nodded slightly, “I know you were truly only trying to help me, but it made me feel frustrated. I know what you did is completely different from my mother’s actions, but for a moment I felt like I was back in my parent’s kitchen being told that my daughter wouldn’t be with me. I’m sorry for lashing out at you.”

Bee sniffled, “It’s okay, it’s not, but I understand now. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I just wanted to help because I care about Haneul, and about you. I didn’t want you getting stressed out over your work, and Hani being uncomfortable at your office.”

“I’m also sorry for saying you’re not my friend,” he adds. “I don’t know what to call what we are, we’ve gone past being friends.”

“Heh, platonic besties raising a kid,” ___ jokes.

Yoongi chortled, “Sure, why not. Actually, Jungkookie and Jinnie Hyung would probably fight us over that title.”

“Aren’t they dating? I swear Kookie spends more time at Seokjin’s than at his place,” she asks. 

“So get this…” 

They spent the rest of the night trying to figure out if their respective best friends are somehow more, apologizing to each other, and Yoongi spilling his family’s dirty laundry. Not once did they dare speak about the quasi-kiss, but it made ___ more aware of the older man’s lingering stares. The way he clinged to her every word, and how his body leaned more into her. They didn’t know what they were, but they didn’t need to know now. They’d figure it out, eventually. 

Tag List: @unicornbabylover @halesandy @supernoonanyc @aianloveseven @hannahdinse8 @lyndseygoregasmxo @aunoiire @brbkpop @nochuwastaken @tinyoonsblog @borahae-reads @jinscharms @phenomenalgirl9 @yoongiigolden @girlwithluv0613 @yaboiithewreck @mint--yoongs @ysljoon @hyunjingin @yu-justme @damn-u-min-yoongi @lovelytaes-blog @so-da-1 @cruelsummer-s @seolaquotes @lovelgirl22 @dreamamubarak @leanimal90 @atinymonbebestay @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @jaiuneamesolitaiire @proudbtsstanfightmebeach

Fic Masterlist

[drabblesandimagines]

Milkshake

Lil' follow-up to Syrup that I couldn't get outta my head after seeing the finale! Rei x reader, fluffy fluff

-

You blink – not quite believing your eyes when the grey dot has changed to green next to his name. You haven’t seen that in weeks. You’d spent literal hours on voice chat together, sometimes playing a multiplayer game, sometimes doing your own thing, sometimes just chatting and nothing else, right up until a couple of weeks before Christmas when things went radio silent. At first you shrugged it off, thinking that it was the run up to the holidays, things maybe just got busy, or maybe his internet was out, or maybe he’d even gone out of town and just hadn’t mentioned it… But then, when the Morio Kart DLC expansion came out – one that you knew both Rei and Miri had been so excited to play – you began to feel a little hurt. Your mind would often try and dissect the snippets of your last conversation, trying to work out if you’d offended him somehow, said something weird?

There’s another beep and a notification pops up. ReiSuwa1 is inviting you to voice chat. Your disbelief turns to annoyance – he’s ghosted you for so long, this better be one hell of an explanation.

You lean back in your gaming chair, kicking your feet up on the TV console as you hit accept. “Hello, stranger.” Your tone is tense.

“What?!” A voice cries out – it’s too far from wherever the microphone is but it doesn’t sound like Rei. There’s a lot of racket – like someone’s scrambling around, looking for something, then it stops.

“Hello?” You try again.

“Who’s this?” Definitely not Rei. Had his account been hacked?

“Er, you called me.”

“I did?” They sound puzzled. “I was just trying to switch the damn thing off and then your voice started coming out the headset. Rei’s shown me but I can never remember the right buttons…”, the mysterious voice rambles on before stopping. There’s a twinge in your stomach at the mention of Rei’s name. “Oh… Are you that girl he was speaking to, from the video games shop?”

You try your best to sound casual. “Well, that depends on how many girls from video games shops he talks to.”

“You’ve met Rei, right? I don’t think you’ll be surprised to hear the amount is incredibly low, single digit low. One and under.”

“Ah, you must be Kazuki.”

“Huh, he mentioned me?” You hear him sit down on something with a loud exhale – must be getting comfortable.

“Yeah, loads of times.” He had – funny stories, usually.

“Well, I’m honoured.” He chuckles.

“Hey, just whilst I’ve got you on the line and all,” you pause and wonder if you’re going to regret this, but press on regardless, “Is Rei okay?”

“Yeah.” There’s a beat. “Why? Has he said something?”

“See, that’s the thing – he hasn’t said anything. I haven’t spoken to him since, like, mid-December. I was really surprised to see him calling, to be honest…” You trail off.

“Oh!” Kazuki sounds genuinely surprised, or is an incredible actor on his roommate’s behalf. “I mean, he’s been on here with Miri recently, but when I properly think about, I haven’t seen him play anything solo in a while.”

“Sorry, this is probably the worst conversation to have got yourself into. I think I misread things – I shouldn’t drag you into my woes.”

“No, he…” He sighs. “How do I say this? There was… There was an accident about two months ago. Rei really injured his right arm. He’s a lost a lot of the mobility in it, including his hand. He’s doing physio, but…”

“Oh, jeez.” You exhale.

“He’s okay now. Well, okay-ish. They don’t think he’s really going to get a lot of movement back in it. Shit.” He mutters, as if he’s had a realization. “I kinda forgot that means video games are off the table. I thought he wasn’t playing with Miri because he says she’s a bad loser, but I guess he can’t use the controller thing as well as he used to?”

“Mm, a lot of them do just work off the premise that everyone’s got two functioning hands. You can do some tactical button mapping on some, I think. Gotta admit I haven’t looked into it much.” You bite your lip in thought. “Poor Rei. That must be a big adjustment.”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s taking it really well. Never complains.” Another pause. “I mean, you haven’t even seen him by the shop? He took Miri a couple of weekends ago to get some new figure to unlock something.”

“Oh. No, I don’t work weekends. He… He knows that.” Your stomach is twisting in knots. There were a few times him and Miri would pop in when he picked her up from daycare to say hello and on a rare occasion, he would show up online on the weekend saying Kazuki was out somewhere with Miri, so he knew your rota.

“I’m sorry.” He sounds genuine, at least.

“No, I’m sorry – I just feel a bit of an idiot.” You don’t know what it is, but Kazuki is surprisingly easy to talk to and you need to get it off your chest. “Like, I was trying to build up the courage to ask if we could go for a real date instead of all these virtual ones we seemed to be having. Probably for the best he ghosted me, huh?”

“No, I think he would’ve liked that. Honestly, this…” he pauses, as if he’s choosing his words carefully, “accident has been a lot. Rei’s surprisingly sensitive, he’s probably worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with you. Did you guys do quests or some shit?”

“You do know video games!”

“I may have overheard some key terms, that’s it. And, er, don’t ignore the question.”

“Yeah, we did. He’s a much better player than me, though. He was dragging my stats up.” You sigh. It’s not what you wanted at all, but maybe it’s a sense of closure. “Well, I’m glad he’s okay-ish. I don’t know if you want to tell him you accidentally called the video games store girl, but if you do, tell him… Tell him I’m thinking of him, yeah?”

“Sure will. Erm, whilst I’ve got an expert on the line – A, how do I hang up and B, how do I turn this machine off?”

You laugh. “I’ll hang up so that’ll take care of that. Do you see the really big rectangular button in the middle of the controller?”

“Mm.”

“If you hold that down it’ll bring up a start up menu, kinda like a laptop? Then you can select power off and that’s you.”

“Thank you. And, hey, I will speak to Rei, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. Bye, Kazuki.”

You press the end call button, as promised, and a few seconds later you see Rei’s icon change to offline so it looks like Kazuki at least managed to turn off the machine. You fling off your headset, spin your chair around to face your bed and collapse down onto it face-first, letting out an exhale. Poor Rei…

--

You’re so tired. You tossed and turned all night with an idea swirling around your head. You got up, wrote it down, and got back under the sheets but your brain still wouldn’t shut up about it. You’d spent until the really early hours conducting research and now, you’re on your third cup of coffee due to an early delivery you need to sign for at the shop, annoyed at yourself but you wouldn’t say you were full of regret what you’d discovered.

You’d been thinking about Rei and that, if he did want to play video games, there must be something out there to help. Whilst you found there were some consoles with “official” adaptive controllers in a way – and, ouch, eye-wateringly expensive, much? - your research also led you to a bunch of online videos where people shared their modded designs - even the schematics or a print bundle for you to 3D print your own to adapt the controller yourself for numerous different machines. The reviews are sometimes so-so, things are a work in progress, but you wonder if you could take parts of one and parts of another and try and make something workable.

As you watch the boxes get unloaded and put into the store room, you wonder if whether you’re getting way ahead of yourself. Sure, you could make the adaptor for the controller but if you did, how do you know he even wants such a thing, plus how would you even get it to him? You didn’t have his number – it was the shop policy to shred anything with customer’s details on right after the repair had been complete and you’d rang off the store’s phone those few months ago.

You sigh, before taking another deep sip of coffee. The problem is, you know you, and once you set your mind to a project you’re going to see it to the bitter end.

“Sign here, please.” The delivery driver pulls you out of your thoughts as he taps on the clipboard, after stacking up the last of the boxes.

Right – work first.

--

A week later, you’re sat at your desk fiddling with various parts. You’d found a place that offered 3D printing facilities, so you’d printed out a bunch of stuff on your day off that you’d bookmarked for possibilities and you’ve spent your evenings since placing bits and pieces together to try and make something workable. Luckily from your shared game play and access to his gaming history via his profile, you know what games Rei likes so you can begin to test your configurations a little, noting down what is and isn’t working to try and tweak things further.

Your console chimes – you’d turned it on when you got home to download an update. Looking at the screen, you see a notification. ReiSuwa1 is inviting you to voice chat.

You grab your headset and slip it on before picking up your own controller and hesitating. The conversation with Kazuki had popped up in your mind since you’d spoken and as you reflected, you’d begun to wonder if you’d just sounded so utterly sad and desperate.

You press accept and brace yourself. “Hello?”

“Hey!” It’s Kazuki again. “I deliberately called this time – I promise.”

“You’re learning.” You smile, rolling your seat back over to your desk. “What can I help you with?”

“I spoke to Rei.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t say it like that – I was covert.”

“Yeah?”

“I just said I noticed that I hadn’t seen him playing on here recently alone, or speaking to you… He admitted it’s difficult with the controller. He didn’t want to bother you.”

“Bother me?”

“Yeah. I didn’t quite get it either. I pressed him on it a bit – said something about holding you back in gameplay, that maybe you wouldn’t want to speak to him anymore.”

“What? No, that’s not right – we spoke loads of times when neither of us were even playing.”

“I know! I suggested he called you, I said you were probably worried about him since from what he and Miri had told me about you, you seemed a nice girl, but he shrugged it off in his usual Rei way.”

“It’s okay, you can’t force him.”

“Oh, I can. As his roommate and friend, it’s important that I aid him in his recovery, and that is reconnecting with his friends, if not more.” Is it possible to hear someone wink through a call? Cos you feel he definitely just did. “So, I was wondering, whatcha doing Saturday?”

“Huh?”

“Miri’s desperate for a new kart thing? We’ve got a chore chart, she gets a gold star every time she does her tasks and I said when she’s earned enough, Rei will get it for her. So, I thought, maybe, if you happened to be in a certain video games store on your day off and I sent a certain man to go in…”

“Ah, I don’t know.”

“Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“He could think I’m stalking him.”

“Uh-uh, you’ll be in the store first.”

You look at the controller in your hand. “I’ve been working on something dumb.”

“Are you changing the subject?”

“No, it’s related. You know I repair controllers, right? Well, after our conversation, I’ve been fiddling around with some adaptors - you kinda clip them on the controller and then you can use it with one hand. I thought it might be something Rei would want to try, I mean, he might want to try…”

There’s silence from Kazuki’s end of the line.

“I’m sorry, is that creepy I’ve done that? It’s probably creepy.”

There’s a loud sniff.

“Are you…? Are you crying?”

“No! It’s just allergies.” There’s another loud sniff. “That settles it - we’re doing this. Give me your number.”

--

When Saturday rolls around, you’ve got the controller adapters into decent shape and they’ve passed all your self-created one hand tests. Kazuki and you have been texting off and on the last few days and he’s bringing both Rei and Miri to the mall – there’s some live performance of those dancing vegetables from the TV that kids seem to like so much. Whilst Kazuki takes Miri to that, he’s going to get Rei to head to the Joypad and pick up Miri’s figure as a surprise. You’d taken your spare controller with the adaptors in place to work yesterday and left your bag in the back office – more so as an excuse to your colleagues as to why you’re there on your day off. You don’t know how to explain that your crush’s roommate has set an elaborate meet-cute for you both, so with Kazuki’s detailed updates and ETAs, you time it perfectly to pop in the store, greeting Mr Kyoto himself before slipping into the back office to pick up your backpack. You got in the back office as Kazuki texted to say that he could see Rei entering the store now – oh, jeez, is this the creepiest thing you’ve ever done? – and you wait about a minute before exiting. The timing is almost too perfect - you’re walking down the aisle towards the exit as Rei’s walking up, looking for the figurine.

His right arm is strapped up in some sort of black immobilization aid, keeping it close to his chest, but he looks as good as ever and you suddenly feel queasy. This was a terrible idea, you’re considering spinning on your heels and diving back into the office until he leaves but it’s too late as the two of you make eye contact.

Rei looks almost embarrassed to see you, and there’s an awkward staring competition before you realise you’re the one that needs to break the ice.

“Hi, stranger,” you smile, casually.

“Hi.” His cheeks are tinged red and he looks down at the floor for a moment. “Er… I’m sorry that I haven’t been online, or in here for a while…”

“That’s okay, it seems a lot has happened since we last spoke.” A not so veiled reference to his arm. “Are you doing all right?”

“It is what it is.” He shrugs. “I’m… adjusting. How are you?”

“I’m okay.” A pause. “I… I’ve missed talking to you, though.”

“Me too.”

You swallow, “What brings you here today, then?”

“Oh, Miri wants another one of these.” He casts his eyes to the display and grabs the character she’s after. You’re not sure which one, you’re too busy staring at his face.

“Oh, er, cool.” There’s another awkward pause and you lose all confidence. “Erm, well, I should let you get on. It was nice to see you, though…”

“Yeah,” he nods. This was such a stupid idea, you berate yourself, as you go to walk past him. He suddenly steps in front of you. “Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“Erm, no…”

“Can I buy you a milkshake?”

You smile. “A milkshake?”

“I seem to remember you like them,” there’s a smirk on his face. There was one evening when you enthusiastically described an incredible milkshake that one of the kiosks in the mall made for probably a solid five minutes.

“That is true. Okay, then.” You nod. “You can buy me a milkshake.”

“Cool. I’ll just go buy this…” He nods to the figurine in his head and heads up to the counter, where Mr Kyoto is beaming at you, giving you two thumbs up and you avoid eye contact, pretending you don’t see your boss’ celebration. Rei retrieves his phone from his pocket as Mr Kyoto is scanning the figurine through the register and about 45 seconds later, your own phone buzzes.

Kazuki has sent you a text message comprising entirely of emojis – a winking face and love hearts.

--

You’re sat at one of the tables in the food court, sipping on milkshakes and chatting away like no time has passed. Rei’s slowly been opening up about his online absence.

“I just… I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to hang out if I can’t play.”

“Rei, I wasn’t just talking to you because I wanted to game with you, I was talking to you because I like talking to you.” You take another slurp of milkshake for a shot of sugar rush courage. “And, just to make this absolutely clear because I don’t think I was in all of our previous conversations, I quite like you, actually.”

“You do?” He smirks.

“Mm. I was going to ask you on a date.”

“You were going to?”

“Yeah, but then you went offline. You’re a hard guy to track down.”

“Ah.” He nods, taking a sip of his own drink.

“And I need to be completely honest because I feel creepy - Kazuki accidentally called me from your profile a week or so ago.”

“Is that why he and Miri are hiding behind that plant?” He gestures lazily to the corner and you see a flash of blonde duck behind the greenery and hear the little girl giggle.

“Most likely, yes.” You sigh. “He’s a sweet guy.”

“He is.”

“Sorry, I think he just felt bad for me and my sob story. And, well, he kinda told me about your arm too…” You pick up your backpack and place it on the table. “And it got me thinking – you know how I like messing around with controllers anyway?”

He nods.

“Well, it turns out there’s some really clever people out there making devices to ensure people with limited hand movement can enjoy video games, so, I kinda got a little too into researching it and mixed and matched and came up with this,” you dig into your bag and remove the controller - it's got the plastic adaptors clipped over it - placing it onto the table.

“So, you can use all the joysticks and triggers across the whole thing with your left hand.” You demonstrate, taking him through what controls what. “You’ll need to do some button configuration still on start menus, but I tried it out on my console on a few things I know you’ve played and it’s super easy.” You look up and he’s just staring at you, almost in disbelief and you panic.

“I mean, I’m not expecting you to use it or even take it home with you because I know this whole thing has been super creepy and I’ve overstepped so many boundaries and, like, talking behind your back with Kazuki, but I…” Without any indication, he leans forward and kisses you on the lips, gently, cutting off your ramble. He tastes like his strawberry milkshake.

He has a dreamy smile on his face as he pulls back and you’re sure you look like a total idiot, your mouth open in disbelief at the turn of events.

“Huh.” You find your voice. “I take that means you like it?”

“Mm, and I like you.” He gets to his feet and holds out his left hand to you. “Kazuki and Miri are going to get kicked out if they continue to hide in the shrubbery any longer. Come back to ours, you can show me how this thing works again.”

You nod, stuffing the controller back into your backpack and taking his outstretched hand. He doesn’t let go as he leads you over to Miri and Kazuki. The little girl greets you eagerly, crashing into your legs.

You don’t even need to hear Kazuki to put a face to a voice – his loud sniff as he wipes away his tears is enough to give it away.

--

Check out my masterlist.

[wildrangers]

If It's Meant to Be {2} // Nico Hischier

Word Count: 3.7K

start here!

Summary: Could an unexpected encounter at a bar lead to something more?

Warnings: Allusions to one night stand/sex, cursing, brief mention of anxiety, mild angst that's resolved at the end, fluff. Let me know if I missed anything!

To say Nico was surprised would be an understatement. He’d spent the day chastising a hungover Jack and trying to banish the girl from the bar from his mind. You were gone by the time Nico looked for you in the crowd, so he figured that was that until he saw you, eyes wide and mouth ajar, during warm-ups. You two just stared at one another for a moment before someone jostled him back into motion.

“You good, man? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost” Jack teased. Nico shook his head, quickly filling him in on what he’d missed the night before. “Wait, you hooked up with that girl I spilled my drink on?”

“I just said that Jack, yes” Nico sighed in frustration. “What do I do?”

“Are you sure she didn’t know who you were last night? I don’t know how someone has front row seats to see a team they don’t care about” Jack pointed out, not wanting his friend to be taken advantage of.

“I don’t think so, she looked shocked when she saw me just now” Nico replied, replaying the moment in his mind.

“Well then write your number on a puck and toss it over to her, doofus” Jack rolled his eyes, pushing Nico towards the bench. Nico quickly moved into action, asking for a marker and masking tape to wrap around a practice puck. The equipment manager gave him an odd look but did as was asked. Nico’s heart pounded in his chest as he scribbled his number around the edge of the puck, the coach’s whistle calling for everyone to clear the ice. He quickly skated over to your seat, noting the redhead from the night before now seated beside you.

He pointed to you, motioning he was going to toss the puck over the glass and you stood up to catch it more easily. He went to skate away but turned back when he heard you pound on the glass.

“Good luck!” you called, cupping your hands around your mouth so your voice carried through the glass. He felt a smile spread across his face as he raised a hand in thanks before following his team into the locker room.

***

“I cannot believe this is happening right now” you heard Jess say from behind you as Nico exited the ice.

“Can you imagine how I feel then?” you breathed out, giddiness filling your chest as you sat back down. “I seriously thought I’d never see him again and he’s here of all places?”

“Not just here, but literally playing? What are the chances?” she mused, leaning close to you. “And not to like, totally freak you out, but I think he’s actually a big deal—everyone is staring at you right now.”

You’d felt eyes on you ever since Nico had skated over but you were doing your best to ignore them. “Jess, he’s apparently the captain, half the arena has his jersey on right now” you whispered back. Jess, for once, was at a loss for words as she dug into her meal. You picked at the food she’d gotten for you, your nerves staving off some of the hunger you’d felt earlier. Everyone seemed to lose interest in you as the away team took to the ice so you smiled down at the puck before pulling out your phone to add his number.

***

Several hours later, Nico was excitedly putting his suit back on after the team’s win. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, heartbeat quickening when he saw an unknown number’s message:

Hey, it’s Y/N. I’m sure you won’t see this until afterwards but have a good game!

Hey, thanks! Are you still at the arena? He quickly responded and was relieved to see the three dots instantly appear as you typed your answer.

Yeah, figured getting out of the lot would be a headache so we grabbed a drink. Why?

Would you want to meet up? A couple guys are coming over to my place to celebrate, you and your friend could come too.

Sure! Where do we go? I’ve never been here before…

Nico quickly explained how to get down the tunnel to the locker room area, letting the guard there know to expect you both.

“Ready, cap?” Dougie asked, clapping him on the shoulder.

“I actually have a couple friends meeting us before we head out.”

“No shit! You invited her?” Jack asked, Gravy close behind.

“Yeah” he felt his face flush as Jack filled them in on the night before, thankfully leaving out the hooking up in the bathroom part. Nico wasn’t ashamed of what he’d done but he would hate for you to feel embarrassed because the others knew.

Before anyone could reply to the story Jack had just told them, they heard footsteps approaching. Nico looked up and waved when you rounded the corner, noting your shy smile as you waved back.

“I’m glad I caught you before you left” he smiled, wrapping you in a quick embrace.

“Me too! This is Jess, by the way.” Introductions were quickly made and you all headed out of the arena.

“Nico, why don’t you drive Y/N and I’ll ride with Jess so I can direct her to your place?” Jack suggested and Nico felt gratitude sweep through him; now he’d get to be alone with you for a short while.

***

As you settled into the front seat of Nico’s car, your stomach was doing somersaults. If you’d told yourself 36 hours ago that you’d be in a dude’s car on the way to his place to celebrate his professional hockey team’s win, you would have called bullshit.

“How’d you enjoy the game?” Nico asked, as he backed out of his spot.

“It was fun! I’ve never been to a professional hockey game before and I haven’t watched my brother play in years so I was a bit rusty keeping up with everything” you admitted.

“How’d you end up on the ice then?” Nico questioned, his brows furrowed.

“Our friend’s dad is a season ticket holder and offered them to us since they’re on vacation. We didn’t have anything else to do so we figured we’d give it a go.”

“So, you don’t follow hockey at all, then?”

 “Not unless you count my brother’s high school team. Why?” You were a little confused by his line of questioning given what you’d just told him.

“Well…” Nico began but was clearly struggling with how to say what he wanted to. As you noticed his fingers nervously tapping the steering wheel, realization hit you.

“Are you worried I only fucked you last night because you’re a professional hockey player?” you asked, slightly offended.

“No! I mean, not worried but just wanted to maybe…make sure?” he tried and you scoffed at his answer. “Please, just hear me out?” he asked, eyes darting over to yours. You begrudgingly nodded and he continued.

“I don’t think you would but you’d be surprised how many guys that’s happened to on our team over the five years I’ve been here. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything but I felt like I had to ask” he admitted.

You mulled over his answer. You guessed you could understand wanting to make sure that someone who was basically a stranger wasn’t taking advantage of you.

You reached over and took one of Nico’s nervous hands in your own. “Nico?”

You were stopped at a red light so he turned to look at you nervously. “Yeah?”

“I don’t give a shit that you play hockey” you said honestly, maintaining eye contact. He threw his head back in laughter before placing a quick kiss to your hand as the light turned green. “If anything, it’s a negative” you admitted quietly.

“Why?”

“First of all, every athlete I’ve ever met at school has kind of sucked. But mostly, when you tossed me that puck it was like the entire crowd was staring at me, it was such an odd feeling.”

He frowned, squeezing your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“No, don’t be sorry, I just wanted to be honest with you. And for the record, I’m really happy you came over” you smiled over at him. “I was super bummed I wasn’t able to give you my number last night.”

“Yeah?” he asked, cheeks flushing lightly in the dim lighting.

“Yeah, you were a pretty good lay” you teased and he scoffed, jokingly pulling his hand away. “But seriously, yeah, I had a good time talking with you last night.”

“Just talking?” he pushed, smirking.

“You can’t get offended at me joking about us hooking up then be mad I don’t mention it repeatedly” you laughed, shaking your head at him.

“I know, I’m just messing with you” he smiled, offering you his hand again. You gladly took it, settling it onto your lap and tracing patterns on his palm. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day” he said quietly.

“You don’t have to say that, you know” you offered, giving him an out if he was just trying to be nice.

“Why wouldn’t I say it if it’s the truth?” he asked, glancing over towards you. “I was so pissed at Jack all day for picking a fight right as you were pulling out your phone.”

“Well, Jess said if it was meant to be more than a one-night thing we’d meet again and here we are” you mused.

“I’m glad we get the chance to see where this could go.”

You smiled at his response, “Yeah, me too, Nico.”

***

“Babe, are you almost ready?” Nico called, checking his watch again. Since you’d started dated, Nico knew better than to expect you to be perfectly on time for anything. Depending on his mood, he found it endearing or infuriating that you were always ‘punctually late’, as you said, by about ten minutes.

“Coming!” you called and to his relief, your clicking heels confirmed you were earlier than usual.

“At this rate, we’ll only be five minutes late” he teased, holding out your jacket for you. You rolled your eyes playfully back as he helped you into the warm material.

“Tonight’s important, I swear I really tried to be on time” you admitted and a twinge of guilt hit him.

“I know, love, I’m just teasing” he replied, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You look beautiful.”

Nico’s heart still fluttered every time you shyly ducked your head at one of his compliments. “Now who’s make us late, hot shot?” you joked and he beamed, grabbing the keys while wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

As his car approached the venue, he noted your leg bouncing nervously so he reached over to squeeze your knee. “It’s going to fun, liebe, it’s really just a dinner for you. I’m the one who has to schmooze with the fans.”

“I know” you sighed, placing your hand on top of his. “This just feels different than team outings, it’s our first, like, official Devs event together. I just want it to go well.”

“It will, I promise” he replied earnestly as he parked the car. “Ready?”

***

You were grateful that some of the other players had brought their significant others; without them, you’d be standing awkwardly alone while Nico was moved from group to group. You understood it was his job, and you loved seeing him smiling with his fans, but it was a weird experience nonetheless.

“How long have you two been together again?” Nicole, Jesper’s girlfriend, asked from beside you.

“A little over six months” you replied, smiling to yourself as countless memories flashed through your mind.

“You’ll get used to all of this, I promise” she said, squeezing your hand lightly. You gave her a quick hug but pulled away as you felt warm hands settle on your hips.

“That better be Nico or he’s going to be pissed” you joked, turning around to meet his smiling eyes.

“Everything okay?” he asked, gently pulling you into his side.

“Of course, you didn’t have to come and check on me, I know you’re busy” you admonished, reaching up to fix his tie.

“Did you ever think I just wanted to sneak over to see you?” he teased and Nicole jokingly gagged before wondering off to find her own boyfriend.

“You scared off my friend, weirdo” you joked back and he chuckled. That was one of your favorite things about being with Nico: you two were playful but the jokes were always kind-hearted.

“Excuse me?” a woman’s voice from behind you drew his attention away.

“Oh, hey Molly. This is Y/N. Molly is our social media manager” Nico filled in and you shook the girl’s hand.

“So nice to meet you! Could I get a picture of you two?”

Nico looked to you and you shrugged, not thinking much of it. Nico’s hand fell to your waist as the two of you grinned into the camera.

A few hours later, you checked your phone as the evening was winding down. Your brows furrowed in confusion when you saw the countless Instagram notifications on your lock screen. Opening up the app, your heart dropped.

Molly had posted the picture to the Dev’s Instagram story and had tagged you. You hadn’t even thought to ask her not to but now your page was blowing up. You had a bunch of new followers and your most recent pictures with Nico had dozens of comments from strangers. Most were kind or neutral but the few that weren’t…

Typical puck bunny behavior, asking for her handle to be included on a team post

Wish our captain knew he could do better than this…

Bets on how long she lasts?

The room swam around you as you quickly changed your profile settings to private and focused on steadying your breathing. Your hands shook as you locked your phone, anxiety flooding your system.

***

As Nico excused himself from the group he’d been chatting with, his eyes instinctively darted around the room looking for you. He knew tonight was a big deal for you, so he was doing his best to step aside with you when he could. When he finally found you, his stomach dropped slightly at the look in your eyes. He quickly made his way over to you, “Y/N/N?” he questioned, worried.

When you didn’t answer, he gently laid his hands on your shoulders causing you to jump. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he questioned, sitting beside you.

“Nothing, just lost in my thoughts I guess” you smiled but he knew you were lying when no light reached your eyes.

“Are you sure? You don’t look like yourself” he pushed, rubbing your shoulder tenderly.

“Nico, seriously, everything’s fine.”

“If you’re tired or ready to go home, we can—”

“Nico! Stop fussing like a mother hen. I’m fine” you scolded and he drew his hand away in surprise. It wasn’t like you to snap at him, especially not in public.

“Fine, sorry to check in” he grumbled and made his way over to his teammates to say his goodbye’s. He suddenly wasn’t in the mood to be at the event anymore.

***

Shit, you thought to yourself as you watched a dejected Nico walk away. You hadn’t meant to snap at him but you didn’t want to bother him while he was working. You didn’t know if you’d tell him at all, honestly; there was nothing he could do to make it better. You massaged your temples gently, re-opening your phone to remove the last of the new followers. You hadn’t had the courage yet to open up your photos to remove the nasty comments.  

A few moments later, Nico returned, arm held out to you. You looped your hand around his bicep and waved to the players you knew, forcing a smile as you walked out to the parking lot. A tense silence descended as the valet brought Nico’s car around. Ever the gentleman, he helped you into your seat but he closed the door a little harder than necessary.

Now that you were away from everyone, you felt all the energy leave your body—you were absolutely exhausted. “Nics, can I just crash at your place tonight?”

“You’re really going to act like nothing happened back there?” he questioned, fingers wrapping tightly around the steering wheel.

“I don’t know what you’re talking ab—”

“That’s total bullshit and you know it, Y/N. If you’re too tired to drive home, you can stay over and I’ll just crash on the couch.”

“You’re kidding me” you scoffed, looking over at him.

“I’m really not. Something’s clearly wrong and instead of letting me help, you snapped and shut me out.”

You had nothing to say to this, so you curled in on yourself, resting your head on the window, fighting back the wave of emotions threatening to spill over. The rest of the drive was uncomfortably silent, as was the elevator ride up to his place.

You slipped your heels off as Nico tossed off his jacket and loosened his tie before sitting on the couch. “Y/N, can you please just tell me what happened? I know something isn’t right.”

You sighed, shrugging your own coat off as you opened your phone to your last Instagram photo. For some reason, talking about it seemed overwhelming so you placed your phone on his knee rather than answer him directly. “Just look at this, I’m going to take my make up off and change.”

***

Nico stared after you sadly as you closed the bedroom door quietly. Sighing, he picked up your phone, his confusion deepening when all he saw was a picture of you two smiling into the camera. As he went to scroll past it, his eyes caught on the most recent comments and he instantly saw red. He opened the comments section and his heart deflated.

When you met months ago, you’d said that him being an NHLer was the only drawback to dating him and he hadn’t really understood why—now he definitely did. He took the liberty of deleting every nasty comment he could find on your page, even scrolling through a second time to make sure he hadn’t missed any.

As he heard you shuffling around in his dresser for some PJ’s, he set your phone down before turning to his own. He pulled up his camera roll, checking the handful of photos from this evening. There were a few you two had taken together in the mirror before leaving but he chose one he’d roped Jack into taking before entering the venue.

The sun was setting behind you and while Nico was beaming at the camera, you were smiling directly at him. His heart squeezed at the emotion in your eyes—no one had ever looked at him quite like you did. So full of unconditional love and adoration. He knew his face bore the same look whenever he gazed at you.

He quickly posted the photo to his Instagram stories, adding the caption:

Fun night with my girl and the team!

He made sure not to tag you; even though your profile was now private, he didn’t want anyone bothering you. He wanted to share your love while still protecting you from more harm.

A moment later, the door creaked open and you peaked your head out. “Can you please come to bed, babe? I’m sorry.”

“Come here first, meine liebe?”

He watched as you nervously played with the hem of your, really his, shirt and he held his arms wide for you. You smiled shyly, curling yourself onto his lap and tucking your head into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you, Nico. I didn’t want to bring it up while we were at your work event and it just really hurt to see those comments. I know it shouldn’t bother me but they did…”

“Why shouldn’t it bother you? They were assholes, anyone would be hurt to see people talking about them that way, especially when it’s not true” he replied, tracing patterns along your back and placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I guess, but I just felt silly letting strangers on the internet affect me so much. Like, I couldn’t even tell you what happened so I just left my phone with you. I didn’t want to start crying over something so stupid.”

“Hey” he chastised, pulling your face up to meet his gaze. “It’s not stupid. I’m used to people saying shitty things to me online, it comes with the job unfortunately. But that should never apply to you, okay? Tell me how to fix this. I already deleted the nasty comments on your page.”

Your eyes shone with grateful tears as you placed a gentle kiss to his lips, “Thank you, my love. Just ask Molly not to tag me in anything else, yeah? There’s not much else to do.”

“You got it” he said pulling you into a tight embrace. “You know that none of what they said is true, right schönes mädchen?”

“I know, pretty boy” you smiled back at him. “Now bed, please?” you asked, eyes widening, lip jutting out in a pout. He gently nipped at your bottom lip, making you giggle as he picked you up and carried you into his bedroom.

“You also know you’re stuck with me, right?” he joked as you rested your head on his shoulder again.

“I’d consider myself lucky to be stuck with you my whole life” you said quietly. His only response was a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

Thank y'all for the support on this story :) Feel free to submit requests or blurb ideas, I have everyone I write for listed on my Masterlist post.

Side Note: (meine) liebe = (my) love & schönes mädchen = beautiful girl

(according to Google Translate, sorry if this is wrong!)

[caterpillarinacave]

I love Charlotte and Henry and they're super underrated. And I would VERY MUCH like to hear the headcanons whirring about in your brain.

Oh well buckle up cause literally all I think about is head cannons. Like, you know how cells replace themselves every few years? Mine have replaced themselves with head cannons. *Sorry it took me a hot moment to answer this ask, I was busy howling into my pillow whenever I tried to articulate thoughts.*

First of all, they’re very cuddly. They basically sleep on top of each other (Charlotte hasn’t needed a pillow in decades). Henry cant sleep well without Charlotte in his arms and Charlotte can’t sleep well anywhere other than Henry’s arms so it works out. Plus, they both do that thing where they jerk awake like the world is ending and scare the shit out of each other, so sleeping in a hug that basically pins them both down saves some energy at 2am. Henry’s perpetually cold and sleeps under like, four blankets, so Charlotte just wears summer nightgowns all year and wraps herself around Henry like a koala.

Naturally there’s an angsty side to the incessant cuddling because that’s just the way I role.

Charlotte sleeps with her head on Henry’s chest so she can always feel him breathing because, by the angel, she remembers when he wasn’t. She sleeps with a hand on his pulse point because she wakes up in the middle of the night and she’s still half asleep they might as well be on the floor in that mountain and she might as well still be desperately swearing she didn’t imagine his heartbeat.

While on the topic of soul crushing feelings of guilt, y’all remember from Clockwork Angel that Henry was the one who told Mortmain what a Pyxis was? And he wanted Charlotte to tell the clave that and she wouldn’t because “they already treat him so badly”? Because I do. And so does Henry.

(I’ve got a whole WIP that I love very dearly about this head cannon and this chess game hehe) There’s one random old tutor who goes to the London institute once a month-ish, basically to hand out a few weeks of homework to any shadow hunters who don’t have their own tutors. Most shadow hunters who live in a more rural area show up a few times a year so the clave knows they’re alive and at least somewhat literate. Charlotte attends them every month since, you know, she lives there, but Henry lives somewhere around Yorkshire so he shows up every few months. The professor is kind of a dick ngl. He doesn’t help Charlotte with any school why would a woman need to be so well educated? “Go on find a husband and stop worrying you’re pretty little head” sort of shit. Henry drives him insane because he’s a) some random kid who’s smarter than him and b) didn’t use any of the professors materials to get that smart. Professor Douche is constantly trying to get him to be wrong about something, or at least flustered about something and he doesnt ever do either of those things, and even more aggravating he refuses to get upset. (He honestly just assumed the professor wasn’t that smart.)

Charlotte’s a really good student of course, but she’s having a shit time with some mathematics and the professor absolutely refuses to help her with it. Eventually she asks Henry if he wouldn’t mind helping her with it, which he’s happy to do (once he figures out that’s what shes actually asking lol.)

Charlotte is incredibly distracted the entire time by Henry’s freckles (and eyes. And hands. And the way his hair curls on the nape of his neck. And the spots of gold and green in his hazel eyes that flashed as bright as the sun when the light catches them. And-), but they get through it in an hour or two which leaves them alone in a deserted wing of the institute. They end up playing a game chess. Charlottes a decent player and thought since Henry had never showed any interest in chess it would be a probably be an evenly matched game. She didn’t know what hit her. He beat her in like, eight minutes, eighty percent of which were spent on the last two moves by Charlotte who, upon realizing she was fucked, spent five minutes staring at the board trying to figure out when he even started beating her. She was sitting there having a whole crisis, (she’d been distracted by a man who probably doesn’t like her, and certainly doesn’t think much of her now after a pathetic loss like that and now she’ll have to sit hear and wallow in failure-) just preparing for him to start that whole smug gloating thing men do when they win and Henry you know. Didn’t. He just put the pieces away and thanked her for the game, in that very genuine way, with the gloomy London evening light casting a depressing shadow across the room, a shadow that he stood out against all gentle, kind, bright and brimming with a sort of barely contained passion. If Charlotte had ever doubted that shadow hunters had come from straight angels then sitting there, looking at a boy stained in soot, who she loved more than anything else to walk the earth, she would never doubt it again.

(It wasn’t until after Henry won and noticed Charlotte hadn’t said anything in a while that he remember people don’t like losing. Honestly he was playing just to be around her and he would have thrown the game if he could conceptualize how to do that on the fly. They spent like five minutes in autistic silence waiting for the other to stand up and declare newfound hatred.)

In true British fashion the a modern tea bag would kill them both.

When they were both 13 or 14 Charlotte mentioned she was dreading winter because it’s so bleak and dark (and her mom had died a few winters before, though she didn’t drop that in casual conversation). Anyways, come winter Henry brought her a marigold preserved in something like resin. She kept it in her jewelry box for years and after they got married she found out he had literally dozens of them. Whenever he came across a particularly bright flower he preserved it and set it aside. He was never quite brave enough to give them to her pre-TID, but he now leaves them for her when she’s particularly sad or stressed. She keeps them all in a drawer- they fit together like little tiles, and still look as fresh as they would had they just been plucked from the ground.

Somewhat surprisingly Henry doesn’t really lose stuff, with the singular exception being his own medical equipment. He’s lost the leg braces he wears every single day of his life before. Charlotte’s not usually speechless but she wasn’t sure what to say to that one.

Henry gave Charlotte a watch with a hands and numbers that can glow the same way a modern day one would. It’s absolutely beautiful, durable and accurate, even if Henry set himself on fire at least four times making it. (They can say with confidence that that watch is fireproof)

—-

Honestly, I could go on and on, then on some more, but technically I’m supposed to be writing a paper on gut micro biomes that’s due tomorrow, so I figured I’d cut myself of. In conclusion, I love them dearly, they love each-other dearly, they deserve the world, all I can think about is them, and the world can pry them out of my cold dead hands.