#i live for good ol unrequited love

[aboutescapism]

enjoy the silence | ao’nung.

ao’nung x fem!sully!reader

part one | next part

synopsis: Nothing could break your sunshine personality, not even your family’s abrupt move to Pandora’s reefs. But, the Olo’eyktan and Tsahik’s son of the Metkayina, who you’ve fallen at first sight for, greatly tested that. 

genre: fluff, angst.

contains: pining from reader; toward ao’nung, mentions of bullying, name calling, feeling alone. ao’nung being a bully (what’s new). unrequited love.

a/n: welcome to my first piece of writing ever! i had to give the honors to my bf ao’nung. this isn’t exactly canon to ao’nung in atwow, he doesn’t outwardly bully the sullys like he does in the movie. but still angsty. let me know if you guys enjoy this!

The Metkayina's way of living was definitely strange to adapt to, but not difficult. Your new life was filled with training your breathing, riding your Ilu, or exploring underwater. Pandora’s enchanting reefs made it hard to dislike living in Awa’atlu, and despite having to uproot your life from the forest so suddenly, you really enjoyed living here. Every day you found something that made your life here greater. Finding an especially pretty shell, weaving your first top with pretty pearls, and even finding a pretty boy to crush on.

The son of the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahik of the Metkayina had caught your eye. When your family first landed here, being picked, prodded, and eyed at by the people, your attention couldn’t help be on him. You were ecstatic when Tonowari put his two children to help your family learn the way of the Metkayina. Ao’nung, not so much.

His death glare scared you, sure, but despite that, he was gorgeous. His braids that tie up into a bun of dark curls, his tooth necklace that dangles off his chest when he bends over, his glistening skin when he’d emerge from the water. Everything about him was admirable, you’d bet his personality had to be wild and free. You’d just have to get close enough for the heir to notice you.

Just your luck, Ao’nung was most often paired with you when you were training. Tsireya was too enamored with your brother, Lo’ak, to pick anyone else. 

“Breathe deep from here,” Ao’nung instructed you, hand on your upper stomach. Your breath couldn’t help but hitch, soon quickening.

“Your heart, it’s beating fast. Calm your breathing, feel the water,” Neteyam, Lo’ak, and Tsireya all shared a knowing look.

“Sorry, Ao’nung,” he gave you a small smile, but it soon disappeared and the lesson moved on.

“Just focus, m’kay?”

His smile was your glimmer of hope. Maybe he did take the same liking you had with him? No, he’s just following orders. But, did his father’s orders entail being friendly, too? 

Still, you had hope. He had to be your someone, by Eywa, you felt it.

You spent your free time practicing your weaving to make gifts for him, or practicing your breathing and sign language to impress him. Always at the shore to collect sea shells for him. Never not around the Tsahik, his mother, listening to her speak with the fellow healers. Ronal had even grown to like you. Such an attentive, obedient girl. Just what Ao’nung needed in his life, your attention would put a pause on his recent bad behavior. Perhaps it was fate that a Tsakarem was brought to their clan, the perfect mate for her son.

In the Omaticaya, you trained everyday for your whole life on how to rule next to the Olo’eyktan and interpret the will of Eywa. You couldn’t help but believe that, maybe, Ao’nung was the Olo’eyktan you’ve been training for. The one to look after the people with. The one to be by your side for the rest of your life. Your mate. You would be perfect together.

Of course, he didn’t see you the same way. But, you didn’t know this. He saw you as a measly forest girl with “demon” blood flowing through her veins that didn’t belong. Your five fingered waves of hello to him every morning were nothing but offensive. How could you be so content with being part enemy?

You were familiar with the uncertainty people felt toward you being half human. You felt it in your own clan. The Omaticaya didn’t take your extra fingers and the hairs on your brow bone with delight. They had been nothing short of disappointed when Toruk Makto’s children came out looking like dream walkers and not pure Na’vi.

The children of the clan specifically acted on their distaste quite boldly throughout your life. The teasing, name calling, bullying, it wasn’t new to you. “Freak,” “demon,” pushing around, leaving you out, pranks being pulled. Jake had always said to not give them the reaction they’re looking for, and after a while it worked. You gave them nothing, they left you alone.

But you didn’t like being alone. That wasn't what you wanted. You didn’t like not fitting in, not belonging. It hurt, at first, having no one. No one to talk to, to hang out with. All you had was yourself.

Your family made up for it, though. How could you not be happy with them? They filled the hole in your heart made from loneliness, all you could see was the good things in your life when you had them.

“You’re always lookin’ on the bright side, honey. Always makin’ my day better. It’s something we should all take after you,” your father, Jake, always said to you.

Everything was yellow and bright in your life. The way you and your siblings could all fit on your hammock back home, sleeping together. Learning how to shoot with a bow. Your mother, Neytiri, making arrows and weaving tops with you and your sisters. 

Coming closer to becoming an adult in the eyes of the Omaticaya every passing day. The pretty flowers you’d harvest to bring to Jake, the close-knit bond of your family. All good things, always good things. Nothing, not even the loneliness, could break your sunshine.

So, you saw your move to the reefs as a chance to explore the world and make it exciting rather than sad. Maybe you’d find people to fit in with, even though this clan was so drastically different from yours, there has to be someone here for you, right?

“Are you a freak?”

Startled, your gaze on the bright blue water shifts to look around, “What?”

It was Ao’nung, your demeanor calms. “I said, are you some sort of freak?”

You smile at him, standing from your crouched position on the sand, “No, Ao’nung, m’not.” Even this close up, he’s breathtaking. His face is inches from yours.

He falters but rebuts, “what about your hands, huh? You’ve got demon in you. Five fingers.”Ao’nung takes your hand, emphasizing his point by shoving your own hand in your face. But he’s holding your hand, so softly, too. Not squeezing  or gripping it harshly. Your heart is swelling and you wonder if he’s feeling the same electricity from the contact.

You reluctantly pull your hand from his grasp, a small smile present on your face. He must be teasing you, no harm in a little banter. 

“Got five from my dad. Used to be a human and now he’s Toruk Makto. He’s the greatest warrior on Pandora.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s the mighty Toruk Makto hiding out here in the reefs, then? Must still be human, running away from his own battles. It’s pathetic,” you understand, now, he’s not teasing. He’s speaking from disgust.

“No, he’s Na’vi. Has been for years now. We’re Na’vi, not Sky People, dream walkers.” You see him, you understand his confusion, his distaste, his ignorance. You want him to see you, too.

Maybe he will see you as more than a forest girl, more than a demon. Maybe he will see your qualities, your fast learning, your fascination with the water, your adoration for him. Maybe he will see you the same way you see him, as a future mate. His girl.

“But you aren’t Na’vi, can’t you see that? You don’t belong in this world, here, with us. You’re meant to be with the Sky People, not here, bringing your war to us. It’s selfish, just what Sky People would do. Cower and destroy. You don’t see like Na’vi, you don’t understand like Na’vi. You don’t belong,” he finishes, stalking away back to the village.

Your heart can’t help but shatter. Each of Ao’nung’s harsh words pricking at your heart and tears from your eyes. And still, you can’t help but yearn for him.

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

Happy Ending | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

Note: This has been ghosting around in my head for some time now because of the song "Wallpaper" by Megan Cromwell. I noticed that whenever I don't have the pressure of a request in the back of my head for a story it's much easier to write. That's why I wrote this rather easily and quickly. I just wanted to post something again lol. So yeah, have some good ol' super dramatic angst. I'll be more active again hopefully.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Unrequited Love, Mentions of NSFW Stuff, Trauma, Reader has some Issues

Summary: Ghost wants a happy ending but not with you.

Word Count: ~2k

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Call sign: Vigil

"We can't do this anymore."

You had known from the start that sleeping with him was a bad idea.

Generally, people advise you against sleeping with a co-worker. Because it makes things complicated. Even more complicated when you're both in the military.

Because technically you’re not allowed to fuck, your actions could be clouded by emotions, potentially risking not only your but the lives of your fellow operators as well. But that little clause in your contract was printed in that tiny font, and so you decided to ignore it.

It didn’t stop you from getting involved with your lieutenant. You were never a big fan of rules after all. Your rank as a sergeant after so many years of service in the military said enough about that.

But at the start, you truly believed that a physical relationship with him wouldn't cause trouble to you or anyone else.

You thought you had it under control. At least in the beginning.

Yes, you had been attracted to him since your first meeting when you had signed your contract with Taskforce 141. Mysterious men were your thing, and he embodied such a man with his skull mask.

So yeah, you did allow yourself to daydream about him, and have some dirty thoughts every once in a while. It wasn’t like you were the only one.

You were attracted to him and you knew he was attracted to you. It was mutual and actually pretty obvious.

You could feel his searing gaze on you just a few days after you had joined the taskforce; the way his eyes trailed up and down your body. The looks he gave you were charged with want.

But attraction doesn't necessarily lead to a romantic relationship, right?

He was a good-looking man in your opinion; tall, rugged, buff, with muscles and fat in the right places, just the way you liked it.

His face couldn't be considered conveniently attractive yet that made it so much better for you. The arch in his brows, the dark eyebags, the scars on his cheeks, his cheekbones. He was your type. And his rough appearance fuelled the fire in your lower stomach and your imagination.

What was the harm in joining him in the sheets and having a bit of fun? It wasn't like you loved him.

That’s what you had asked yourself.

It was much better to get rid of your pent-up frustration with him instead of a toy or a rare one-night stand when you were off-duty.  And damn, was he good in bed.

Rough, fast-paced, keen to try out every possible position, and not shy of pleasing you. You could've expected it. He was a man who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. Dirt, blood, sweat, and other fluids... It didn't matter.

Short summary: It was pure ecstasy every time.

You two had lots of fun together in lots of different positions and locations, and that was all it was. Just some fun.

No strings attached, as you both declared at the start. Just fuckbuddies.

"I'm not a relationship kind of guy, Y/N" he had told you after you had spent your first time together.

You had snorted because shit, you weren't either. Both of you were too broken and bruised by the baggage of your pasts. Your traumas would probably weigh you both down in the long run. So you were fine with the line he had drawn between you.

It was okay. No emotions, no obligations, no lovey-dovey shit, just a means to an end.

Just a meeting in your room after a mission, a phone call on your days off, then a quick meet-up in a hotel. Just pleasure. Not love.

Until it wasn't just that anymore.

You two had settled into a routine where he would join you in your room late every other night.

After you had pleasured each other enough, he would leave soon after, and somehow - with time, you began to miss the warmth next to you on your bed.

The feeling came slowly creeping, and it took you by surprise.

You never asked him to stay; you didn't dare cross the line. To ask for a bit more affection. But you wished.

That he held you just a bit closer during the act. That he remained next to you just for a few more minutes after it. That he kissed your scars, your lips. That he touched you as if you were something, someone precious to him. Someone important.

Sure, you liked it when he treated you like an unbreakable object when his grip left bruises on your body - in a way, they satisfied your need for more. They marked you as his. But just for once, you wanted to be treasured by him. To feel that you meant something more to him.

You didn't know when your feelings for him had turned into a fluttering mess in your chest. He wasn't just a means to an end anymore. You valued him. Not just as a soldier who had your back. Not just as a friend. But as a man, a partner. A man you wanted close to you. For the rest of your life. No matter how long that would be.

Because Simon had done something no one else had been able to do before.

He made you wish. For a future. A future with him.

He made you wish to be better, to be a little less broken. To pick up the pieces that had once made you whole. You wanted to be better. A better version of yourself. For him. To have a chance to be truly happy. To get that fairy tale life others dream about – you once had dreamed about when you were younger, your shoulders lighter.

His attention made you excel, it made you stronger, faster, harder. You were just better when he was around. A better soldier, a better woman, a happier person.

And you thought, no, believed that he understood that. That he helped you to be better. That you needed him. Not just in your bed, but by your side. As your other half.

You both were people of few words, so you thought that through your actions, your eagerness during missions, and your gentle touches during your time together, you conveyed all these feelings. That he got it, saw how you felt about him.

But you never spelled it out. Never said; I've come to love you.

Just let these feelings simmer under your heart, hoping that one day he'd get what you felt for him.

"We can't do this anymore, Vigil."

You'd love to say that it came as a surprise when he, one day, called you to meet up and told you these words.

But you knew subconsciously. Felt it. Long before he actually said the words, they were coming.

His calls had been less frequent, his visits rarer, and to your confusion, his eyes began to look different whenever you saw him. They looked clearer, and happier.

Only after you saw him at the party after your successful operation in Chicago did you understand. He did look happier.

But not because of you.

And only then did you realize that your brain had played a trick on you. You were so consumed by your feelings for him that you didn't realize how big the rift between you two had gotten.

He laughed.

Simon Riley laughed heartily for the first time since you knew him. Not just one of his usual chuckles that he reserved for your or Soap's jokes.

No, true deep laughter that came from deep within his chest.

And all because of a joke that the woman next to him had told him.

You didn't know her; you had never even seen her face before. She was a complete stranger to you, and yet Ghost rested a hand on her hip as if she belonged to him. As if she was his fucking girlfriend.

Soap looked at you, then who you were staring at.

"That's Ghost's new lass, I heard. Can't believe that guy found someone before us, eh? Surprised me too, I tell ya."

His words were like poison, and you tasted bile in your mouth. So much made sense to you now.

"Why not? I thought you liked it?! I enjoy it every time."

"That's not relevant anymore. I'm just telling you, Y/N. This thing is done. I won't come here anymore."

"But-"

"Let's just forget this happened, alright?"

"...."

"Okay."

You hadn't even been able to argue. Or tell him your feelings.

After all, you were the one who said you could never be in a relationship with him or fall in love with him. It was pathetic to get back on your words and admit it in front of him.

So you just shut your mouth and accepted his words for the time being.

A tiny voice in your head whispered that you could tell him your feelings later when he calmed down a bit. When he started to miss you.

You knew the whole situation with Hassan was getting to him and the others, so you cut him some slack. You thought he would change his mind. Believed it. Blindly.

But now, here you were. Looking like a fool. Feeling like one. Being one.

And the thing was, you couldn't even say anything to him.

He was the one who made you happy. Who made you want to be better. Less traumatized, more whole.

You could see in his eyes that she was that to him. Not you.

So, what right did you have to intervene?

You wanted him to be happy, after all.

How could you deny him that? You both had gone through so much.

She seemed to be the complete opposite of you. She basically glowed in the room, her smile radiant, and her aura was light as if the world had blessed her to never know hardship.

Her frame was soft, and her skin unblemished, untainted by the cruelty and darkness that existed in the world.

You couldn't help but compare yourself to her.

Your cracks, the marks of your trauma, made themselves known through various scars on your body. Your hands were rough, covered with old blisters; so unlike hers, and you were all jagged and sharp edges, while she looked so cute and bubbly.

You could see her appeal, and it hurt to think that way, but in another world, in different circumstances, you could see her as your potential friend. She just had the appearance and aura of someone who people gravitated toward. A soothing soul.

In that sense, you could understand Ghost. Why he searched her side. But you fucking hated it.

As lovely as she seemed, right now in this bar; you couldn't help but despise her.

She took him from you.

A voice whispered in your head. The ugliness of that thought made you want to throw up, because didn't it prove that you weren't completely right in the head?

Ghost wasn't your property. He had his own free will, and just because she appeared didn't mean she stole him away.

After all, he never belonged to you anyway.

This was probably why Ghost didn't chose you, you thought to yourself. Your ugly jealousy and possessiveness were rearing their heads.

I wouldn't choose myself either.

You felt like crying, but you couldn't even do that.

You hadn't cried for years now, and although the pain in your heart was worse than any of the bullet wounds you had received during your career, not a single tear welled up in your eyes.

You were truly broken. And the man who could fix you wasn't at your side. He would never be.

You looked at the two of them once more. An ugly thing clawed at your chest, begging to get out. Your vision turned red. You clenched your fists.

You had to get out of here. Now.

"You okay, Vigil?" Soap asked next to you, noticing that you seemed a bit off.

"Yeah. I just- think I didn't turn my stove off. I got to go."

You mumbled before you turned around and hurried to the exit of the bar. Soap tried to protest, but you were out the door before he could even finish his sentence:

"But you just arrived- Damn... off she goes."

He sighed and looked towards that woman and Ghost. They made eye contact. As if Simon was already looking at him. Or you.

[eldritch-spouse]

I’m gone for a week and the brenti momentum is gone?? This will not do

I’m having a hard time discerning his personality, and the way your characters talk always make them seem a lot more real, so can we please have any scenario where he’s talking to Reader? I’m thinking good ol’ seduction👀 But you can choose whatever you feel like!

[That's fair, he's far from established, therefore his "live" dynamic is kind of gray. For this short little thing, I'm going off some of the concepts established in this post. Fem reader.]

TW: Noncon.

It's not often you take the time to sit outside. Well, actually, it's more like you don't have the time to do such. Really, you'd love nothing more than to spend entire evenings sprawled on a bench, catching some sun rays and listening to the chirping of avian wildlife. It's just not in the cards for you right now.

However, you need it.

Lately, you've been afflicted with something you have no name for. Burning waves of need have you waking up in the dead of night sweating like a whore in a church, body yearning for anyone to touch it, fill it. Your fingers cramp and there's nothing that can satisfy you when these episodes start. You tried to rationalize it, wondering if you were having some sort of worrying hormone imbalance, especially when these moments became more and more common throughout the day. Shame and confusion quickly shut down the possibility of consulting a doctor about this, so you've been suffering through this odd affliction silently, hoping it'll fade on its own.

When this unrequited, inexplicable arousal gets in the way of your daily tasks, you've developed the habit of going outside and basking in the light, feeling the warmth on your skin, hearing people passing by as you sit perfectly still with your eyes closed. While you wouldn't exactly call this meditation, focusing on evening out your often sped up breathing has some effect in dampening the heat in your loins.

The touch on your arm has you yelping a lot louder than you needed to, glancing around frantically until you spot him to your left side.

The demon... Uh, hybrid? To be frank, you have no idea what Brenti is. Nor are you about to ask, you should have when you first met him, but the time for that has passed now- It would sound rude. Nevertheless, the tall monster stands to your side with a bright, sharp-toothed smile.

He's more than a little odd. You remember meeting him only about two or so weeks ago, he introduced himself as a resident of Hell looking to move in somewhere on the surface, and you two really hit it off. There's a sort of mystic charm to the apparently eyeless demonoid. He's clearly out of sorts here, subjected to the stares of every local for standing out like a sore thumb, but his eagerness to try and fit in, his optimism, quickly made you develop a growing fondness for the monster. Plus, he seems to deal with the foreign attention pretty well- In fact, you've seen him get approached by some of the more outgoing, daring folk. You're pretty sure he's single though.

Which is almost paradoxical given how attractive he is. He's... Very good looking, in a unique way. You've never seen anything like him, and you hope Brenti can't tell when your stare lingers- If he can, he doesn't look bothered by it.

" Woah! H- Hey, were you asleep? " He starts, tail wagging at your jarring reaction, watching you try to compose yourself.

" N... No, I just got lost in thoughts. " You shrug, forcing yourself to look elsewhere.

His presence isn't helping your case. In fact, it's doing the opposite. The last thing you need right now is to have to interact with the good-looking go-getter that's been buzzing around. Unfortunately, Brenti seems to favor your company above most other locals'.

" Oh. It's kind of nice seeing you out here! You're always busy, aren't you? "

His hand has not left your shoulder and you're starting to sweat again. What a weird thing to say... Has he been hoping to see you more?

" More or less, you know how life is, right? " Weird, life has gotten very weird recently.

The demonoid nods. " Uhuh, you work really hard, it's pretty inspiring. "

You blink. It always catches you a little off guard when he compliments you. The way Brenti says things makes it unclear if he's flirting or being genuine. Maybe he just says that to everyone? It's not as if you watch him interact with others too much, but he always has an excitable look on his face. The one time you saw him frown was when another monster walked up to him.

" That's sweet of you, uhm, thanks. "

Awkwardness settles, you gulp and play with the hem of your shirt. Brenti stays quiet for a couple of moments, you think you heard him inhale sharply, but then he clears his throat.

" So... I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me. " He eventually breaks the silence, offering you a slightly less confident demeanor, but one full of hope nonetheless.

" R-Right now? " You're sure you're wet enough to almost be making a puddle on the fucking bench, overheating your body even more is far from a good idea.

" Sure! I mean- Only if you feel like it of course. But, to be honest, I've wanted to talk to you a bit more. You're so pretty. "

" Ah... " Somewhat shakily getting up, your eyes roam everywhere but the monster's general direction. Though it seems he's not content with that, quickly striding to almost glue himself to you. Did he always smell this good? " Thanks. " You sound like a broken record.

Should you return the compliment? It'll look kind of weird if you don't.

" You're uh- You're- " God fucking damn it, what are you even supposed to say?

" ... Yeah? "

Brenti begins walking leisurely anyway, and you quickly follow, aware he's very avidly waiting for you to to finish the sentence. Something about his attitude feels a lot more intense out of nowhere.

It takes a painful amount of time before you settle on something, probably because your mind isn't thinking of wholesome flattery. " You're very unique. " You fucking idiot, he's going to take that as an insult. " In a good way! I've just... Never really seen anyone like you before. "

The monster beside you beams very visibly, smile crawling further up his face. But wherein Brenti'll only smile and laugh when others toss flattery at him, you note he bares his gums to you, tongue flicking out to wet his thin dark lips. His subsequent smile is less cordial, less natural.

" That's sweet of you. " He parrots, mockingly maybe, it's hard to read him.

You're not paying attention to where either of you are going, limiting yourself to following the larger one's slight lead. It's only after a couple of silent minutes trying to reign in your hormones that you realize he's leading you deeper into the park. Well, you are on a walk with him, this is only normal... The notion doesn't ease your sudden attentiveness.

And you were right to feel slight uneasiness, because the monster eventually halts right in front of you. There's a purr steadily rising from his chest.

" You're wet. " He eventually comments, tail swishing rapidly behind you. " Like really, really wet. "

An already stressed heart skips several beats. What- What are you even supposed to say to that? It didn't occur to you that he'd be the type of monster than can sense that- Probably because monsters aren't that common around these parts. You never had to consider things like that before.

Frozen, you offer the demonoid a terrified glance.

" Can I taste you? "

" What?! No- What the fuh- "

He takes one step forward, forcing you to take one back. " Oh, but I can fix it, you need help, it's okay! " Brenti tries that winning smile again, but its charm dies on arrival. " You know, I didn't think it'd work so fast. "

You don't even want to ask. " ... Brenti, step back. "

He doesn't. You know you're defenseless against a monster like him in this state.

" You've been responding so well to me already! " The monster leers. " I didn't think my cum would take that fast, you must really love me. "

The world stops spinning. Shaky hues meet a white canvas of a face, searching for a hint of a joke that's not there. Who is this guy?

" Your... You- Your... "

Brenti lowers a hand to his slit, shamelessly touching himself as he steps further and further towards you, scenting the air with his tongue out. You mirror his steps backwards.

" Mhm. Asleep, you suck it off my fingers and everything. You're such a slut, I love you. " Brenti sighs, sounding manic and infatuated all at once. " You're only like this because you need it, you know? Need me. "

There's tears pooling in the corners of your eyes.

" No no, don't cry! I'm here, I'll help. It'll be easy- " Discolored, twin cocks begin poking out of his slicked slit. " You make me so hard, I'm almost embarrassed about how fast I cum for you. "

Your back collides with what you think must be a tree, watching the drooling, twitching demonoid approach you. This is a far cry from the monster you met that day, an even more torpid, twisted vision of the newcomer locals go out of their way to engage with.

" You're going to be my mate, you're going to be the sweetest fuck of my entire life- I'll make you soo happy! You'll see! "

When a cloying, fruity scent hits your nostrils, you know it's time to flee. An overworked metabolism burdened by the spoils of this beast's depraved work speeds off into unknown directions.

The ground shakes behind you.

It's a matter of time.

It was only ever a matter of time.

[cinamun]

Ok Cin, so I was thinking off the top..

Was that sorta an unrequited love song 'Dianne' was singing? Or just a nice Donny song to set the mood?

Because they have been 'fun buddies' for awhile now, thus sharing some details about their lives; somewhere back in the chapters didn't Bishop reveal some snarky clues about Jackson as well?

Bertie relates Mercy to changing due to grief and Jackson not sure why mentions she is not well at the party... but either way it seems ol' girl "hasn't been well" for awhile now. Sometimes, younger women that marry older men especially much older men have unresolved daddy issues. Mercy seems fragile like she has alot to unpack.

When I looked at the dynamic between Jayce getting upset his son did as well which kinda reminded me of wolves or dogs - when one howls or barks it starts off a chain reaction. Or babies that are around other babies, when one cries the others get upset because that one child is upset. Jackson was kinda feeling his dad's distress and the vibe in the room as well in the infamous "Not now" scenes he was feeling his mother's distress in her voice and body language. Animals and kids. What sentient little beings.

Good morning dear friend! Let's get into it shall we?? I LOVE the way you think!

Now if you'll indulge ME for a moment, this is kind of like author's privilege lol I happen to think its the greatest love song ever written so therefore, so do they lol BUT I love a double meaning so, perhaps she was singing it to Jackson in her heart? Or, you know, just a nice Donny song to set the mood.

I would have to go back and review, but the extent of Bishop bringing up Jackson was always to make Mercy feel horrible. He knows she blames herself for his passing and he also knows Jackson is a way to manipulate, control and emotionally abuse the poor woman.

If we let Jayce tell it, Mercy fell in love with Jackson because of his character which she says "grows stronger with age". We don't know much about her father, but I would say perhaps he was several years older than her own mother and maybe this was learned. However I do agree that Mercy has several pieces of luggage in her closet that she hasn't quite unpacked. And the situation she is now finding herself in (recalling past haunts) is a result of never unpacking said luggage.

I have nothing to add, only that I am SO happy you caught on to that. It wasn't just that Little Jack ran out of food, the air suddenly got heavy, the tension in the room made it unbearable and the energy... oh the energy. Little Jack was expressing outwardly what was happening to Jayce internally.

Little Jack aside, there's been a lot of response to Jay's actions over last few weeks, some good and some bad. And I get it, he fell down a rabbit hole. But its a rabbit hole I certainly would have fallen down if it meant I would find out something life changing. And if it didn't, at least I tried. I feel so bad for Jay right now who lost his hero, now thinks his hero wasn't a hero, and had to spend a good chunk of his life watching his mother deteriorate under the spell of a demon.

We should protect him.

[littlemissnoname13]

Being Friends with Benefits with Rockstar!Draco would include:

Summary: I wrote these head cannons based on a conversation with a wonderful Anon of mine. If you’re reading this ◑, I really hope I did you proud.

Warnings: mature language and themes, no smut or anything explicitly nsfw but there are several mentions of sex and innuendos. As always read at your own discretion

A/n: second queued post. Apologies for the spam but I have one more coming after this.

Masterlist

I always imagine rockstar!Draco would have a bit of a bad boy reputation.

You’d probably hear a lot about him in the tabloids and the good ol’ internet for being a bit….temperamental.

Some examples of trashy tabloid headlines revolving around him would read like: “Malfoy in a fist fight again!”, “He’s a cautionary tale about the dark side of fame,” says Draco Malfoy’s former manager, in a candid interview.”

Draco hates that his label makes him participate in social media marketing gimmicks and despises attending promotional events. Unfortunately he is forced to oblige due to his contractual obligations to the label.

Sometimes, he’ll just straight up walk out of press conferences and album launches because they ask him too many questions that he would rather gouge out his eyeballs than answer.

It was never about fame or money for him. His massive Malfoy Inheritance is enough to last him a lifetime without working.

He’s in it because music is the only thing that seems to put his demons at bay. When he’s on the stage, he forgets the rest of the world.

His first guitar was a gift from his aunt Andromeda

He wears a LOT of rings on his fingers and has calluses on his fingertips from strumming too hard on his guitar

TATTOOS. He definitely has a lot of them. And I’m talking tattoo sleeves, ink on his knuckles and maybe one one of his calves

Just as much as he loves the stage, he loves staying up late in his hotel room, strumming his acoustic guitar and writing music.

He has some half finished and brutally raw songs that he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with the world. They are too sacred and he is afraid of being vulnerable

Out of those deeply personal songs he’s written, most if them are about you

You don’t know they’re about you because Draco never tells you

He’s known you for more than half of his life. You’ve been friends for so long

Ahem..friends that occasionally sleep with each other I mean.

Even though you live in different cities, Draco has a habit of sending you random little texts every couple months

Sometimes he’ll text you right before going on stage or right after

His texts range from sweet little messages like: “Hello from Brussels, I had a waffle this morning and I immediately thought about you.” Or random texts that leave you scratching your head like “I dreamt of you last night.”

You are his one true weakness, his unrequited love

When he’s touring in your city, he’ll meet you for drinks in disguise. It’s an ineffective disguise because it’s just him in sunglasses and a hat or hoodie of some sort

Meeting for drinks ALWAYS ends up in his hotel room with your clothes tossed haphazardly across the floor

“Fuck. I’ve missed being inside of you.” He almost always says into your ears

You love the feel of his tattooed hands around the base of your throat

Obviously the man has impeccable rhythm and his fingers are awfully skilled so you are always a screaming, moaning mess

Every time he touches you, he is hyper aware of his calloused fingers. He doesn’t want to hurt you

You want to be with him and he wants to be with you but somehow life always gets in the way.

Right person wrong time

In between moments of rushed hotel elevator kisses and bathroom sex, there are some profound moments that just suspend in time. During those moments, the two of you lie naked in bed and talk about life

Sometimes he’ll play a song he wrote for you while you lay your head on his leg and listen to him

Sometimes, you’ll even dance to his playing and he’ll obviously toss his guitar away to pick you up and kiss you

“Come to my show tomorrow.” He says “I’d love it if you did.”

And so you go.

The whole time he’s playing, his eyes are on you. It’s like no one in the arena is there. It’s just you. His muse.

When the show’s over, you wait for him backstage. And the minute is back stage, he kisses you. He pours out every emotion into that kiss.

Maybe one of these days, he’ll finally tell you how he really feels but for now, he has to be back on the road again.

Okay this one is a little specific but I can totally see him reaching for your hand and kissing your knuckles like a true gentleman every time the two of you part ways

“Until next time.”

The goodbyes are always temporary though. You’ll always keep colliding with each other. Call it fate, call it divine intervention.

He thinks of you all the time during those gaps though

You listen to his songs during the gap. Not the ones from his platinum certified album but from voice memos from your phone. The songs he wrote for you.

[sweetestofchaos]

To-Do List

Uᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ 04/06/2024

You make fun of Minho’s (shinee) grandpa laugh (one-shot)

MET Gala!Jackson likes his interviewer (one-shot)

Hyunjin smut with a thick s/o (one-shot)

Never, Ever ft. Seokjin - Seokjin thought of the best surprise.

Vacay ft. Namjoon - Namjoon and you are able to get away and just be with each other.

I’ll Take Care of You ft. Vmin - Jimin isn’t used to someone taking care of him and Taehyung is there to change that

Closer ft. Jungkook -  being close to you is still not close enough

Have Mercy ft. Jimin/Yoongi - Jimin falls in love with the very soul he is supposed to devour. When he gathers the courage to confess it seems that someone far more evil finds her alone. (1/3)

Run From Me ft. Taehyung - Taehyung and you have history together, a very, very long and twisted history. (4/??)

Take on the World ft. BTS - When Seokjin imprint on a child, the Min pack has to prepare for parenthood (12/??) 

Blackthorn ft. Yoongi - The love story of Emperor Yoongi and Empress Keena has been passed down from generation to generation; a love story so strong that it had surpassed the passage of time. (15/??)

Cafuné ft. Namjoon and Yoongi - As Namjoon’s personal assistant, Y/N doesn’t have time for love…or does she?  (6/??)

Got7 Pregnant Social Experiment

Knock, Knock ft. Jaebeom/Yoongi: Jaebeom is finally woken up by his soulmate after how much time? (2/??)

Prompt Me Hoe - A bunch of AU’s featuring different idols

Butterflies ft. Seokjin - Y/N is an American song writer that befriends Kim Seokjin

Era of Love Series ft. Got7 - Nothing like that good ol’ college au

Lactation Kink: Poly!BTS - (2/3)

Chain Reaction ft. Bambam (5/6)

Chain Reaction ft. Kim Yugyeom (5/6)

The Jayde Heiress ft. BTS - Back against the wall, Arissa must learn to live in Bangtan’s world if she wants to survive. (to be rewritten)

You cry because you can’t fit their clothing - Got7, BTS, Monsta X

They meet you, their celebrity crush - Got7, Monsta X, Stray Kids, BTS

You crying in the shower - Monsta X, Shinee

They get to do a stage with their crush - Stray Kids, BTS, Shinee

You run into your ex and they see you have a child - Got7, Monsta X

When your top falls off in the pool - BTS, Shinee, Monsta X

You wear braids to a fan sign - Got7, BTS, Stray Kids, Monsta X

You’re pmsing - Ateez

You hit on your boyfriend while drunk - BTS, Stray Kids, Monsta X

Barber Shop ft. Kim Namjoon - Alysia just wanted to get her son’s hair fixed, she wasn’t expecting to fall for his new barber, Alpha Kim Namjoon.

Wherever You Are ft. BTS - This is what happens when you catch their eye while enjoying the nightlife.

Dragon’s Heart - Prince Jaebeom is the last descendent of the mighty dragons that left the Earth long ago. When a sudden attack leaves him wounded, Y/N saves his life. (Fantasy Au, Strangers to lovers)

Capture the Heart ft. Kim Seokjin - When Seokjin’s playboy ways come to bite him in the ass, Jaya is there to save him…based off this gif set (Strangers to Friends to Lovers / College AU)

The Captain’s Vow ft. Kim Seokjin - When tragedy strikes due to the betrayal of the Royals, Capitan Seokjin switches sides to avenge those he has lost. (Pirate AU)

Trust Me ft. Mark Tuan and Song Mingi

demon au, gang au, dead dove

My All ft. Youngjae

fake dating au, pregnancy au

The Dragon’s Apprentice ft. BTS’ Rapline

dragon au, fantasy au, mxm

Not A Dream ft. Jungkook

ex to lovers au, gang au

Hey, My Baby ft. Jimin

strangers to lovers au, vampire au, sugar momma au

Something Like Fate ft. ??

strangers to lovers, soulmates au if you squint

Untitled ft. Got7/BTS

dragon au, sugar daddy au

You See Me? (I see You) ft. Hoseok

military au, brother’s friend au

Smile For Me ft. Jimin

actor au, stalker au

Handsome Devil ft. Shownu

demon au, unrequited love, fake dating au

Recipe For Love ft. ??

strangers to lovers

Looking For You ft. BTS

soulmates au, dream walking au

Michael & Jackson, After the Singer? ft. Jackson Wang

strangers to lovers, idol au, fake twin au

All of You ft. Bambam

yandere au, non-idol au

Pass You By ft. Minhyuk

ex’s to lovers au

Leave Me Alone ft. Changkyun

gang au

Enough ft. Vernon

friends to lovers au

Remembering You ft. Yoongi

married au

Consequence ft. Jungkook

vampire au

Untitled ft Jimin

werewolf au, a/b/o, friends to lovers au

Say Ahhh ft. Many Idols

personal chef au

Fairy Floss and Cottontails ft. Yoonkook

hybrid au, Easter au

Motion of the Ocean ft. Jackson Wang

mermaid au, fantasy au

The Story of You ft. Kim Namjoon

soulmate au

Q&A ft. Jaebeom

teacher au (sequel to Not So New Professor)

Welcome Home ft. Seonghwa

friends to lovers au, idol au

All About You ft. San

friends to lovers, gang au

Hear Me ft. ??

band au

Hello, Again ft. Monsta X

strangers to lovers, Idol au

Lost and Found ft. Monsta X

gang au

Lost My Halo ft. Gang7

high school/college au

Fall Apart ft. Mark

gang au

Sweet Pea ft. Yugyeom

gang au

Lie To Me ft. Jackson

gang au

Sub-Rosa ft Jaebeom

gang au

Isn’t Something Missing? ft. Youngjae

gang au

Count For Me ft. Jinyoung

gang au

Two Piece ft. Bambam

gang au

[paradigns]

🌦 « ( nichole sakura, thirty-two, cis female, she/her ) ☼ congratulations, kaede nakano, you’ve been accepted as a park ranger in hampton valley in grand hazel national park this summer! we could tell from your application that you are eccentric and defiant, so we are so pleased to welcome you from redding, california for your fifth summer on staff. hopefully you can check singing to wild animals, watching the sunrise at the peak, and configuring the perfect camping set up off your bucket list. please consult your employee handbook with questions! ↷

( @npbulletin​ ) hellaur i’m anne <333333 there is a brief bullet mention drugs in the intro below! like this and i’ll seek you out on d*scord or you could just message me first if you’d prefer at bigtimerushstan there!

kaede was born and raised in san diego, california. that was her home with her moms <3 but then she moved to get closer to the redwood national park where she usually works full-time. she wanted to explore a lil more so she negotiated a part-time summer position at grand hazel.

she also sells upcycled jewelry on the side -- you’ll probably find her outside looking for usable materials. maybe you’ve found her by a trash can, maybe behind the park buildings. nature is bountiful. the business is on hold during the summer while she builds up her collection and focuses on her job at grand hazel.

she’s a vegan and she won’t kill spiders. maybe a stink bug if they get annoying but she’ll try not to!!!

she’s pretty empty-headed sometimes, and she kinda lives in her own world. she’s like a mixture of synclair james from living single and phoebe buffay from friends.

live laugh love is literally her life motto.

avid w33d smoker.

she has so many plants in her home it’s like a plant nursery. come to her if you need help with your plants.

i’ll copy and paste some of the wanted connections, but i’m always up for a good ole brainstorm!!!

mortal enemy who believes in the exact opposite of what she believes in (veganism, nature is best, live laugh love, killing spiders is bad, etc)

best friends who’s just like her

best friends who’s not like her at all but they’re supportive <3

friends who’ve bonded over her plant knowledge or her jewelry or whatever

friendly acquaintances who are still getting to know each other

petty rivals (she will NOT move her little plants from the common area)

enemies because of something personal (they’re exes, they dated the same ex, they said the other person’s hair is ugly and they’ve been personally offended ever since, shut up about the flowers already, etc.)

childhood friends/enemies/lovers

unrequited crushes (kaede crushing on your muse, your muse crushing on kaede, either or <3)

regular and casual hookup

i am up for anything tbh just lmk <3

[chicken-fifi]

Ghosty Boy Makes a Move

Description: It's Valentine's Day and our good ol' Ghosty Boy decides to shoot his shot... Even if he is a ghost he can love too

Word Count: 742 words

Warnings: ghost, rejection, unrequited love, (I KNOW IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY BUT THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ONE)

Tagging: @septicrebel

Masterlist

It had t be today. There was no backing out now. Not after that constant chickening out he’d been doing since Christmas. From day one he knew you would be an interesting character to share a home with - and he was right. Yes, he might’ve frightened you a little bit that one fateful day back in October when you caught him playing the piano, and he was probably also a little more annoying while you were preparing for Christmas, hosting your parents and those wretched uncles of yours who he was totally not scaring after they retired to their rooms.

Not like they didn’t deserve to have the shit scared out of them - they had it coming after they insulted you for refusing to sell the estate or at least give them some share of what you inherited. Although you didn’t hesitate to put him in his place the moment everyone had left the large homey estate two days into the new year.

But anyways, the point gets across. A lot has happened since you two first officially met. And he couldn’t deny that even though he was a ghost and should be void of any feelings - especially towards a living breathing human being - he had developed a very strong attachment to you. One that might be against any and every rule of the living. But he was gonna do it. He was gonna do it today. Even if it killed him…killed him more that is.

~~~

“Younghyun!” you called out from the kitchen. “Younghyun you better come over and explain this mess right now!”

Once again, denoting the fact that he should be the one striking fear into your heart, you struck fear into his apparition form. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to make something for you to eat when he didn’t have a continual energy coursing through him that was strong enough to move physical objects.

He appeared in the kitchen avoiding your gaze as you stood in front of the stove, hands on your hips as you watched him appear before you. Your delicately painted finger wagged in front of his face as it began pointing at eh many things that were in disarray in the kitchen. 

“I was gone for two days and come back to this,” you asked, clearly tired from the business trip you were forced to take out of town. “You can’t even eat food, Brian!”

He stared at the floor, not having the guts to meet your gaze. It would be now or never…at least to explain why he’d made a mess but not what that mess was supposed to be or mean. 

“I wanted to make you dinner…to welcome you back home,” he eventually said raising his eyes to meet yours. “And as a way to show how much I care about you.”

The second phrase he’d said slipped from his lips before he could stop it. He closed his eyes realizing maybe he shouldn’t have said that after seeing how you froze and your arms dropped now resting at your sides. Well, there was no going back now, so he might as well just let it all out. And if you hated him, so be it - he could just go and haunt the treehouse in the backyard until you two made up.

~~~

Younghyun’s words echoed through your brain as he kept speaking before he stopped floating until he was right before you.

“Please don’t leave just because I said that. I’m sorry if I-”

You cut him off with a sigh, closing your eyes as you took a breath to ground yourself. Anyone would need a breath to ground themselves after having their ghost housemate confess to them.

“Do you know what you’re saying right now Younghyun?” You took note of the way his shoulders dropped, dejected. “I care for you too but not like this - like that.”

You could swear you heard the shattering of a heart - your own as you said those words because you knew this couldn’t be. 

“Just forget I said anything,” he muttered quietly, avoiding your gaze. “Forget I said anything at all and that I exist.”

“Younghyun, I-”

Before you could finish your sentence, he vanished without a trace. You let out another sigh feeling alone for the first time in the vast house in months. Swallowing the lump in your throat as you decided to take your frustrations out on the kitchen - it needed cleaning anyway.

[komakitigerdrop]

I find it intriguing to see the differences in Asami's reaction when Fei Long tells him he is planning to go see Mikhail. In the printed version, he says "I wondered what you were intending to do, but this? You're insane."

Much stronger words than we see in the scanlation.

Makes me wonder if he even remotely thought about the "methods of persuasion" Fei Long was planning to use.

"You're insane."

Interesting...

*twirls imaginary moustache*

[bmpmp3]

Watching happily n'ever after for the first time in like over a decade and I'm getting like flashbacks over all this stuff I forgot

It's was nicer looking than I remembered, was this theatrically released? I mean yeah it looks like a pre rendered cutscene in a late ps1 game but girl? That's kinda a look

Cinderella's design is adorable I'm always here for short haired princesses

The tonal dissonance between a lot of the scenes is giving me mild whiplash so that's fun

The main character, Rick I think his name was? He's way more Nice Guy(tm) than I remember am I gonna have to kick his ass

This is embarassing but when I was 10 and a furry I think I low-key had a crush on that purple cat who is a Big Bastard

The evil stepmother.....is kinda hot

[simplyacerola]

hiii saw the event and my thoughts went exactly to prompt 4 angst with cc!gnf.. love your work & i live for good ol angst so thats a perfect combo for me

also dont write this of you dont want to ofc!

thank you for your request and support! i hope you enjoy my love <3

silence

pairing: unrequited!gnf x reader, karl jacobs x reader

pronouns: you/your

event prompt: "seeing you with someone else really makes me sick to my stomach."

word count: 3.7k

note: i didn't mean for it to be this long, but i got carried away! hope you enjoy and feel free to contribute to the event for more like this!

edit: part two is posted!

masterlist! | event! | taglist form! | ko-fi!

for as long as you’ve known george, he rarely ever vocalizes his feelings. even with his closest friends he remains closed off, never raising his ever-present wall. his armor never cracked until he realized what he missed.

you usually streamed with someone else, always either playing with someone online or chatting with them during a solo game. your chat sometimes requested different streamers, but the most common person to appear on your streams was georgenotfound.

in past streams, you created and played a sims file alongside george’s commentary. george tried to get you to focus on the sims’s career and building a ‘proper’ house, but you insisted for your sim to get a partner. “george, the point of the sims is to get a bitch. your method is boring.”

“no! the sims is a life simulator. get a job.”

you groan. “gerald has a job! he’s an assistant dishwasher. time for him to get laid.” george snorts at your comment. you and george created gerald to be a combination of you and him, although his name was directly inspired from george’s.

“you’re insufferable.” you can practically hear george’s eyes roll. you click the option for gerald to flirt with someone before checking your stream. the chat is flooded with george stans and a few people who shipped you.

thank god your facecam was off. “you love me anyway.” a shit-eating grin spreads on your face, cheeks flushing. the chat streams by faster, people freaking out, but george is silent.

“whatever. go get gerald laid.” you frown, continuing to romance a sim and thanking donations. maybe george just didn’t want to say anything live.

the stream ends soon after, and you thank everyone for watching and george for joining you. even after you end your livestream, george remains in the discord call, talking about one of his upcoming videos with sapnap and dream. you nod along—even though he can’t see you—and scroll through tweets about your stream, liking a few. “(y/n)?”

“hm? sorry, i’m looking at twitter.”

george playfully scoffs. “i was asking if you wanted to be in a stream next week. we’re going to play roblox with a few other people.”

“hmm, let me check my availability…” you trail, knowing that you didn’t plan out your streaming schedule.

“you’re an idiot.”

“i’ll be there, gogs.”

“oh, whatever would i do without your presence?” george asks sarcastically.

“wither away, probably. send me the details for the stream when you can, i’ve got to make dinner. love you george!” you smile to yourself, trying to suppress your giddiness when talking to george.

he pauses, then laughs. “bye, eat something good.” he leaves the call. you sigh, staring at discord open on your screen. you care deeply for george, as more than a friend, but he doesn’t reciprocate anything. maybe it is all in your head.

the day of the stream rolls around quickly due to your distractions. you streamed often, filling in the quiet times between with talking to your friends, especially one in particular. karl jacobs, drawn to your streaming presence and cheery persona, invites you on his streams so much that you’ve become his most common guest.

you open discord to join in the pre-live chatting. everyone else is already in the voice channel. “hello!” you greet after hearing a ding.

“(y/n)! hi!” karl’s tone matches yours, bright and excited. the way he wears his emotions on his sleeve with you brings a smile to your face.

“you’re late (y/n),” george’s tone is sarcastic and plain.

“shut up george, i’m literally three minutes early. you guys are just an ungodly amount of time early.”

“you know what they say, the early bird gets the worm.” sapnap chimes in, causing a light wheeze from dream.

“the early streamer gets the…” you trail, unable to think of something.

“twitch prime subs.” dream says, masking another wheeze of laughter.

“YEAH!” karl cheers. you can practically imagine his reaction, face smiling and hands in the air.

“are we starting then? since we’re all here.” george offers.

“yeah, the early streamers gets the twitch prime subs after all.” you say, opening roblox and logging into the account you prepared beforehand.

karl starts his stream, pulling up his ‘stream loading’ screen while music plays softly in the background. your phone chimes with the notification. “you have my notifications on?” karl asks quietly.

“uh–” you grab your phone, silencing the ringer. “yeah. i like watching your streams; they’re calming.”

karl is silent, but you could sense the smile on his face. “do you have my notifications on, (y/n)?” george asks in a mocking tone.

you huff. “yes, gogs. i have your notifications on. don’t you remember when you made me screenshare so you could see that they were on?”

“george, you piss boy.” dream mocks.

“oh, shut up. you’re the piss boy here.”

“i have everything set up!” karl interrupts. “are you all ready?”

the stream begins, karl introducing all his guests as you pull his stream up on your phone. his smile is bright and giddy, perfectly matching his tone. “extreme hide and seek? what makes it extreme?” george asks.

“the intensity of turning on your friends!” you yell, joining the server after friending karl’s account.

“i think it’s just because all the furniture is bigger,” comments sapnap. “accept my friend request!” he yells soon after the request appears in the corner.

“okay, but only because i love you, sapnap.” you accept and sapnap’s avatar jumps in front of yours. sapnap laughs as a chat bubble appears over his character: a heart. “you’re sweet!” you blurt, typing out multiple hearts back.

“oh my god. you’re a bear.” karl says, unmuting after addressing his audience.

“i know! i love it so much i had to buy it.” you jump around karl, showing off your bear avatar.

“you spent money to be a bear?” dream asks mockingly, joining the game.

“yeah, but i’m way cooler than you.”

“YEAH!” karl yells in his usual fashion, making you smile involuntarily.

george finally joins the game after some silence. “george, your avatar is cursed.” his body parts are unproportioned and he has nearly every free accessory adorned.

“i think i look better than you.” george jumps on your character’s head.

“no! i’m way better than you!”

“because you spent money on roblox,” dream comments.

“shut up piss boy!”

the game begins with dream as the first seeker. you and karl run through the bedroom map together, jumping up a ladder and hiding in a pillow. he tries to get you to laugh by typing different emotes into the chat, causing his character to wave and dance. “stop it karl! the piss boy is gonna find us,” you whisper, despite the fact that you’re in a voice chat together and can hear each other perfectly.

“(y/n)! where are you?” george whines.

“hiding!” you respond in a whisper-yell.

sapnap screams suddenly. “damnit dream!”

“not my fault you decided to hide in the worst spot ever. who would ever hide inside of an object?” dream mocks, though you and karl are hidden inside of a pillow. your eyes widen and you peek at karl’s stream to gage his reaction, and his eyes are just as wide as yours. you can see dream’s avatar through the pillow running on the ground. “ohhhh george!” he says, spotting george on the shelf.

“no! leave me alone dream!” george runs across the shelf to try to get away. “(y/n), be my distraction!”

you snort at his plea. “no! i don’t want to get caught, gogs!” you lightly laugh again as karl’s avatar begins to dance when the message that george was caught enters the chat.

“you two suck!” he whines, his british accent exaggerated. “hiding in a pillow, what losers.”

you and karl both gasp. “george! what the fuck!” you swear as karl screams, jumping off the bed and onto the ground, running towards the shelf. this distracts dream, leading him away from you as you jump down into a drawer.

the timer goes off just after karl is caught. “my savior!” you yell playfully, spamming ‘karl my beloved <3’ in the chat. “why’d you give us away, george?”

“because you two were just hiding.”

“that’s kinda the point of the game,” sapnap chimes in before the next round begins. you’re the seeker this time.

“ohh george! revenge time!” you draw out your words just as dream does.

“no, please (y/n)! i’m sorry!” once you spawn in, you immediately spot george’s one large arm.

“I SEE YOU!” you add a deep filter to your mic, causing dream and karl to laugh.

“(Y/N) PLEASE!” george tries to run, but you effortlessly catch him. “FUCK YOU.”

“sweet revenge,” you laugh with the effect still on your mic. “you’re next, piss boy.”

you win the round, mercilessly catching everyone. “george, you brought out demon (y/n).” sapnap groans as you catch him, the last hider. you cheer when the victory screen appears.

“does this mean that demon (y/n) is gone?” dream asks.

“whatever do you mean, piss boy?” you deflect after turning the mic effect off.

dream groans. “don’t try to gaslight me.”

“i’m seeker!” karl chimes. “time for me to catch all of you now!” you can see from his stream that he’s rubbing his hands together evilly, though it only reminds you on a fly.

karl catches george immediately since he went afk. he then runs into your avatar. “heyyy karl! my friend!” you type out the command for your character to dance.

“i would never kill a dancing bear.” karl’s character starts to dance as well.

“thank you! see, this is what robux gets you, dream.”

karl stops dancing and starts chasing sapnap. “this is favoritism! what about karlnap?”

“but you’re not a bear!” karl starts to giggle maniacally as he catches up to sapnap, tagging him.

the stream continues for hours, playing a variety of popular games. banter and screaming fills the hours, though george becomes uncharacteristically quieter. eventually, the stream ends and karl wishes his audience a good night. you stay in the call for a little, chatting mindlessly with the boys until you had to go. “i had so much fun guys! and thank you for inviting me, george. i love you all!” you wish them goodbye, spamming hearts in the discord chat. they all reciprocate, adding their own hearts into the chat and wishing you a good night, all except george.

months fly by and you stream more, especially with karl. your audience loves his presence, matching your energy and encouraging your antics. you started a stardew valley farm with him and had your characters married—you insisted to your audience that it was platonic, but you secretly hoped that karl didn’t agree. though, you wish that george was more available to commentate over your sims gameplay. he started to dismiss your calls, blaming an increased workload with practicing for mcc and dream team plans.

you support george’s every move, including the ones that he took without you. but, with this neglect from george came a blossoming companionship with karl. during a rare solo stream, your audience convinced you to watch a youtube video they spammed. your moderators approved it, and it turned out to be a compilation of karl’s reactions to people mentioning you when you weren’t there. the video was several minutes long, and all of his reactions consisted of squeaky laughs, a red face, and him covering his mouth when he realizes.

karl surprises you one day, ominously texting you: “check discord hehe :D”

in the discord channel that you shared was a screenshot of a confirmed plane ticket to karl. you immediately entered the voice chat that he was in. “KARL!”

“(Y/N)!”

“YOU DIDN’T!”

“what is it?” george asks. you didn’t notice george was in the chat, but you smiled wider knowing he was there for the first time in what felt like forever.

“hey georgie! karl bought me a plane ticket to him!”

“you were talking about wanting to do a baking stream while we were playing stardew valley, so i bought you one! we can do the baking stream and just hang out!” karl matches your excitement, making you feel giddy and light.

“that’s awesome (y/n)! i know you’ve been wanting to do a baking stream.” george’s tone is supportive, but you know he’s holding something back. the part of you that loves him wants him to say something, anything. but he doesn’t.

george stays in the chat, listening to you and karl make plans and occasionally butting in. karl was to meet you at the airport and drive you to his place, where you’d hang out until you wanted to do the baking stream. you were going to make brownies.

“hey, i have to go help jimmy. but i’m so excited for next week! i can’t believe you’re going to be here!”

“i know, i’m so excited karl! love you!”

“love you! see you then!” karl laughs before leaving the discord channel.

george is completely silent, barring the sounds of him typing. you bring your knees to your chest, hugging them and slightly spinning in your desk chair. you want george to love you as you love him, but trying to get him to talk about his feelings was just like trying to convince a brick wall.

you exhale loudly, enough for george to stop typing. “you okay?”

“yeah, i just–” you pull yourself closer to your desk, staring at your monitors. your desktop background is a screenshot of you and george. you both had your greenscreens and has a minecraft background. you were pretending to kiss his cheek and george was rolling his eyes. “george. do you love me?” you immediately regret your question.

george is silent only for a beat. “what do you mean?”

you exhale once again, but it comes out shaky. “i care about you, george. you know that?”

“well, yeah. you’re one of my closest friends.”

friends. your hand flies to your mouth before you could fully register the word. you shut your eyes tightly, trying to fight gravity and keep your tears in, but your feel your face becoming wet. you wipe your cheeks quickly, though george can’t see you. “yeah,” you try to still your voice. “you’re my best friend. i love you.” you look to your ceiling, one last hope for george to reciprocate. for him to take the hint that you love him. his silence is deafening and your ears are ringing. the silence feels like shattering glass on your skin, stinging your face and arms so much that you hug your body.

“i’ll talk to you later. have fun with karl! you deserve it, travel safe.” george leaves the call. you quickly leave after him, shutting your monitor down before collapsing. salty, hot tears stream mercilessly and you hiccup. he doesn’t love you, and it feels like you were stabbed in the chest.

the week passes, only talking to karl about your plans. your audience is concerned about your disappearance, but you assure them that something big is coming. in reality, however; you’re wrapping your bloody heart in bandages and trying to forget. george only reaches out once, sending you a tiktok.

karl calls you the day before you board the plane, sharing his excitement and finalizing plans. you couldn’t wait to get away and be with him, someone who vocalizes their care. you accept george’s decision. he doesn’t love you, but karl cares.

the box of brownie mix on karl’s counter is just out of frame, karl calling it a ‘backup plan’ in case the homemade brownie recipe doesn’t turn out right. karl prepared the stream, tweeting until people start to come into the chat. he holds you close to him with his arm around your waist, free hand flinging out to his side when he starts. “hi everyone! welcome! i have a special guest today,” he squeezes your hip ever so slightly, bringing a smile to your face.

“hello, karl’s chat! we’re making brownies!”

“YEAH!” karl screams in his fashion, making you laugh.

you peak at the chat, seeing comments complimenting and shipping you. one that stands out in particular, though, is ‘they look so happy.’ “yes, i am happy right now! i’m making brownies with my favorite person!” you laugh, bringing up the recipe on your laptop. you feel karl’s arms hug you from behind. “get the ingredients, bub.”

“you mean, like flour?” he asks, brushing his finger on your nose. you gasp, feeling the powder on your skin.

“we’re meant to make a fine dessert, not a mess!”

you work together while making the batter, though karl spends more time teasing and hugging you. eventually, the batter makes it to the pan, but not without the two of you tasting the batter. karl puts it in the oven as you get a text. your phone is on do not disturb, and there are only a few contacts that bypass the silence.

wiping your hands on the apron that karl bought you, you grab your phone to see who texted. it was george: “seeing you with someone else really makes me sick to my stomach.” it feels as if your heart stops.

karl immediately notices, giving an excuse to chat and putting up a ‘be right back’ screen. he hugs you from behind. “are you okay?” you turn in his arms and hug him back, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“something’s wrong, i need to call george.”

“of course you can. i’ll keep an eye on the brownies.” you lift your head from karl and see his reassuring smile.

“thank you, karl.” you kiss his cheek quickly. his face reddens and his smile grows wider (any wider and his lip would split).

you walk to the guest bedroom you’re staying in, ringing george’s contact. “hello?” george answers casually, but you can tell from years of knowing him that his tone is off.

“george? are you okay?” you ask quietly.

“what do you mean?” he tries to dismiss you.

you huff. “don’t play dumb with me. you fucking texted me during the stream.” it comes out more angry than frustrated.

“i–”

you cut george off, “what’s up with you? you don’t text me until now, and you text me randomly when we’re streaming.”

“i didn’t like it, (y/n).”

you laugh in a frustrated manner. “are you kidding me?”

“no, i’m sorry.” you can hear george take in a shaky breath. “i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i see you with karl and… this feeling takes over. i feel it all over, it’s awful,” george rambles.

“george…” you trail off, biting your nail and clutching your phone to your cheek. you feel bad for him, but he doesn’t love you. then why does he feel like that?

george huffs loudly. “i hate this.”

“why didn’t you tell me sooner? why not the night i asked if you loved me?”

“i didn’t know how. i didn’t know…”

“that i wouldn’t wait for you to get your act together? for you to love me back?” george only takes in another shaky breath, words unable to be formed. “george, i love you. i really do, but…”

“but it’s too late.” he laughs painfully, causing tears to slip. “it’s okay (y/n). really.. you deserve someone who knows how he feels, who knows how to express love.”

“george–”

“it’s okay. i do love you, (y/n). i always have, and i should’ve told you before.” you wipe your tears quickly. “god, i didn’t think it would be this hard.”

you sniffle into the speaker. “thank you for telling me, georgie. i care about you so, so much.”

a light knocking on the door pulls you from the moment. “(y/n), i didn’t want to interrupt, but the timer is about to go off. i told chat you were in the bathroom, but i just wanted to let you know.”

“thank you karl, i’ll be just a minute,” you call back to karl before returning the phone to your ear. “i need to go george.”

“yeah, i heard. i’ll let you go, (y/n).”

“please don’t.” you reach past the surface-level meaning of his intention to let you go. “i’m still your friend. you’re my best friend, always.”

“yeah… i’ll be here for you.” george is silent again. “bye, (y/n). enjoy the brownies for me.” he then hangs up.

you shove your phone in the apron pocket and wipe your face before opening the door. karl is right outside, leaning on the wall between the hallway and the kitchen. he smiles, but it faulters when he sees the tears on your face. he rushes forward, wiping some away with his thumb. “(y/n), are you okay?”

you nod with his hands on your cheeks. “yeah, i will be.” you smile reassuringly at karl.

karl matches your smile and pulls you into a warm hug. “are you ready to finish the brownies? if you’re not up for being on stream, i can take over and–”

“i’m okay, karl. i want to finish the brownies with you. we’ve still got to finish the frosting after all.” you laugh. karl pulls away from the hug slightly, enough for you to kiss his cheek and see his reaction.

maybe this is for the best. your ears aren’t ringing, and there isn’t silence with karl.

--

taglist :) @nonsensicallynarnian @jschllatt

[tommybaholland]

Hello! Can i request an Atsumu/reader where they are best friend (and she is in love with him) but she is younger by one year and when school end for Atsumu he never really make time for her just to regret it? Your choice what happens after that

when he’s neglectful to his crush

featuring: atsumu (x fem!reader)

missed this one last week too :// another reason why i’m going to post an important update tomorrow, stay tuned for that! this one is a little angsty with some good ole’ unrequited love but overall, i think it’s sweet. maybe more bittersweet idk. enjoy :)

“we’ll always be best friends.”

that was what he told you on the last day of school. that was also the last time you heard from him in person. 

it’s crazy how you can go from talking to each other every day to next to zero contact at all. you used to text each other all the time if you didn’t see the other but you almost always saw him at school or made time to see him afterward. 

now it’s like you have been completely forgotten. you tried to keep it up by texting him like you used to but he either wouldn’t see it for a while and take time to respond or worse, he’d read it and not respond at all. it wasn’t like him to just not respond, he hated having notifications on his phone. and it seemed like he always made you a priority to reply back but now you’re not so sure that was the right assumption to make. 

that’s not even the worst part. you were growing apart and you never took the chance to tell him how you feel. 

you had been planning to do it before school ended for the year, his last year, but then he said that you’d always be best friends. that was like a knife right in your chest and any confidence that you had built up to confess was long gone. 

it was the middle of the break, the new school year looming around the corner and you hadn’t heard much from him. if you did, it was a very short-lived conversation that you started and he ended by leaving you on read. you couldn’t really complain about it because you weren’t dating or anything. maybe ‘complain’ isn’t the right word but you felt like you didn’t have much justification for bringing it up. 

you knew he was aiming to make a career out of volleyball. you didn’t want to bother him and you hated feeling like you were bothering him. you chose to swallow the hard pill and give up. 

a year later, he had the pleasure of seeing you again. you were wearing your dress that was most likely planned months in advance for the occasion. today is your graduation day and you look so beautiful. 

he locks eyes with you, yours full of confusion and some shock. 

“hey,” he greets, chuckling at your reaction. 

“hey, atsumu,” you reply hesitantly. “didn’t you already graduate?”

“no, they decided to keep me another year,” he replies. “it was all a ruse.”

you crack a smile. “okay. sounds about right.”

“nah, i’m kidding. it’s kind of a team thing we do, coming to see the younger ones graduate,” he explains. 

you nod in understanding, your smile unable to cease. 

he hasn’t changed at all and neither have you. yet, there was still some awkward tension between you.

“so what have you been up to all this time? are you a big volleyball star yet?” you asked.

he laughs, somewhat sadly. “eh i’m getting there, i think. had a big injury earlier in the year so i’ve been itching to fully get back on the court but it’s been a process.”

“oh, that’s a bummer,” you console. “but i’m sure you’re taking the recovery really seriously, right?”

“haha, ummm,” he begin to reply but hesitates. “you know me, i never listen. but yeah, been trying pretty hard to not overdo it.” 

“that’s good. i know it’s probably really hard for you,” you tease. “you were never one to sit still.”

he looks down as he smiles and nods. “yeah, yeah. it’s still like that now.” 

you share a laugh for a moment and then it’s silent again as you look at one another as if you both know what you need to say but don’t know who should say it first.

“i miss you--”

“atsumu, i need to--”

you speak at the same time, words colliding together. 

he clears his throat. 

“what was that?” you ask.

“no, sorry. did you want to say something?” he returns. 

“yes but you can go first.”

“no, it’s okay. you first, i feel like i’ve been talking a lot.”

“okay, ummm,” you stutter. “did you just…say ‘i miss you?’”

“oh no,” he chuckles. “so you did hear that.”

“mmhmm,” you hum in agreement, amused by his reaction. 

“yeah, uh, i just feel like i haven’t seen you in forever and some of that is my fault,” he admits. 

“no, i mean, it wasn’t completely you,” you counter. “i stopped reaching out as well.”

“but did i make you stop reaching out?” he asks. 

“ummm, maybe. i don’t know, i didn’t want to feel like i was bothering you but there were other factors that played into it,” you answer. 

“i see,” he responds. “but yes, i do miss you.”

“really?”

he nods coyly. “yes.”

“well, what do you miss about me, hmm?” you were using his own moves against him. 

“you’re just calm and easygoing, fun to be around. i miss having that energy in my life,” he explains. 

“oh, osamu hasn’t been keeping it up for me?” you joke. 

“not at all. dude is just, like, constantly cooking and wants nothing to do with me. i do get free food a lot though,” he replies. 

“sounds ideal,” you replied with a chuckle. 

“yes, it is,” he agrees. “i was thinking maybe…we could get him to let both of us try something of his sometime?” 

you blinked, unable to speak for a moment. “uh, umm,” you stuttered. 

“unless that’s weird,” he added. 

“no! it’s definitely not,” you reassured. “i think that would be fun.”

“great, me too,” he agrees. “here, do you still have the same number?”

“yep, same as always,” you laughed. 

“do you still play imessage games?” he asks as he pulls out his phone and taps on it. 

“uh, it’s been a while,” you admit. 

“okay, well,” he says as the sound that signifies a sent message pings. “let’s get you on some eight ball action.”

you feel your phone vibrate, making you smile. “okay, i’ll try my best.”

“you better, i’m gonna smoke you,” he teases. 

“probably,” you agree. “but we’ll see.”

another silence again but this time, it’s a little more comfortable. 

“you look really great, by the way,” he compliments. 

you can’t help but look down as you smile. “thank you. so do you.”

you had a good feeling about this. the knife in your heart had been removed with an arrow, excited pangs rippling all throughout your body. 

you would always be together. 

something hopeful for haikyuu night...get those requests sent in!

[trophywifejimgordon]

ehhhhh tomgreg under the cut

state of tomgreg. ok. ok. tom has feelings for greg, and i think he pretty much understands them as unrequited. it’s like, greg is happier than him AND happier without him. and greg has seen (and sort of taken advantage of!) a shift in their relationship, too... tom tipped his hand, as it were, talking about nero and sporus, and now greg is kind of starting to realize where they stand. that he has influence over tom. that tom will even go against his own self-interest for him, if he flashes puppy eyes! and because he’s still just cousin greg, he doesn’t know quite what he’s supposed to do with that, doesn’t drive in the knife the way shiv, for instance, or any of her brothers might. but (!!) he’s always been a little bit of a schemer, and that’s lurking in the back of his mind, so where it was once that tom had greg as the one person in his circle whom he had power over, now the dynamic is shifting, and greg is starting to realize that tom is the one person in his circle that he has power over. and this comes at sort of a big time for greg, who is busy actualizing a worse version of himself, w/ ewan and greenpeace and shifting loyalties. meanwhile, tom is totally going to get divorced. and so.

right off from that episode (3x7), i think greg is confused. he had the massive (if happy) outburst of tom’s violence to remind him exactly what kind of weird, off-putting dude tom has been to him since day one, but right after, he gets a soft, genuine forehead kiss. (remember, this to the same greg who got a haircut he didn’t need just to have someone touch his head). his response to that is kind of all over the place. they’re at a fork in their dynamic; nero and sporus. greg refusing to cockfight in his office after to relieve the perceived tension, greg asking tom to eat his sins at the diner and tom refusing to play into greg’s quid-pro-quo. in a very real way, they’re in uncharted territory. free men, both from the looming threat of jail and, just a little bit, from the chains forged into their dynamic from the first episode. i’m not sure if greg 100% understands that tom is in love with him, but the kiss was, imo, enough for him to get some serious wires crossed. this leads naturally into both “prove it!” and the flirtations with comfry. greg has sort of a new interest, a new energy for tom, and yet, he’s also panicking and backpedaling, pursuing a girl with renewed vigor because she’s shown some interest in him that wasn’t tomlike and violent, and she’s pretty, and he’s totally straight. that’s a normal thing to do. not to mention the added appeal of it being forbidden by kendall, giving the affair the new dimension of taking the piss out of the roys, whom greg has been humiliated by...

so, who knows? there’s something and there’s nothing. greg’s intrigued (despite himself) and he’s ignoring it (unconsciously). tom wants what he can’t have and he doesn’t even know why he’s sad. repression wins the day. now what?

from where i’m sitting, i think everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop. for tom to put a legitimate name to his feelings. until he outlines them in real words, greg can (and will) go on ignoring what’s right in front of his face, and tom can keep living this same lie that he’s been living with shiv. even this whole thing with comfry kind of feels like a prod, part of the dare: maybe greg wants tom to be angry about it. maybe he’s waiting, with dread shot through with shameful anticipation, for tom to ruin this for him, because he’s learned in the last year or so of his life the perils of trying to have anything good that’s all for him, especially when it directly excludes tom. tom’s flat out told him that he resents greg’s happiness, and here’s greg, waving it around like a banner, a taunt: oh, i hope no one tries to take this from me...

and he could! he could. early on in their relationship, tom definitely would. but, since this new turn in their dynamic is all about them subverting their old shit, i’m thinking: what if he doesn’t? what if he just never does?

greg, tired of waiting for that other shoe, finally confronts tom, i think. he’s a little pissed off despite himself--like, hasn’t tom noticed? what’s taking him so long? obviously he doesn’t want tom to ruin it, but he’s going to, so what’s the holdup? and tom... actually, i’d be kind of interested in a (completely hypocritical, natch) “reason you suck” speech. tom sort of tearing greg a new one about his integration into the roy family, about how once they were both outsides, and now it’s just tom. how greg and his plots and his legal action and that thing with the nazis and this new side of him going on dates is unrecognizable from the kid who showed up asking for a job. and yet--tom is in love with him. it’s a love confession. it’s a love confession that greg either rejects (in a fumbling, greggy way) or that tom rejects for him, but either way, it’s another raw breakup. somewhere around the same time, tom is served shiv’s divorce papers (or vice-versa), and that’s that. 

timeskip. a year, a few months. tom and greg are back in each others’ orbits (or maybe, in some awful, festering, never-let-the-wound-heal way, they never fully left), but it’s definitely different. maybe greg is still going out with comfry. maybe he’s long past. tom, notably, is out--he’s dating men, maybe even getting together with some particular man, and he’s happy.

and greg fucking hates it. THAT’S what i’m holding out for, the complete 180. finally, tom is taking joy in some totally normal, relatively “healthy” relationship outside of the roy family, and greg, who has his own concerns and his own life, like, entirely, cannot fucking stand it. he hates this guy tom likes. he mocks him in as roylike a way he can get away with underneath his fundamental gregitude. honestly, he steps up to the active sabotage of tom’s relationship, all without realizing what the fuck he’s doing or--more to the point--why. 

and when it works, when tom’s left with nothing but greg again (without ever actually having greg), he’s just like... why? why can’t i be happy, greg? and greg’s left stuttering to say... because it was me? you said it was me. because you planted an idea in my head and now i’m twisted up about it. because you brought me down with you, so you certainly don’t get to walk away.

and there’s a moment where it clicks--that they’ve officially made each other worse people than when they started, and now there’s no way out. so okay, greg, you’ve tanked my last chance at a normal relationship, come collect the pathetic fruits of your labor. right, tom, you planted this idea in my head when you told me you wanted me, now come reap what you’ve sewn. 

family gatherings, needless to say, get unbearable. 

[skiitter]

Also in my roundabout way I would like to request a Lann ficlet, start with angst but make it happy? or just happy. Or just anything because you are a great writer!!

okay so uh this got away from me but here's 3.8k words of lann pining after the commander and being an idiot in love.

He is not staring. He is restringing his longbow after their latest run in with the remaining demons still lingering in the area, that's it. He is absolutely not staring at his two companions huddled together across the fire. He is not watching with rapt, singular focus at their every interaction, seeking answers in her soft words, his sardonic remarks. The Aasimar gestures rudely with his hands, and she laughs loud, the chorus of it echoing through the empty ramparts. When Daeran dips his head low to whisper in her ear, the skin of her neck flushes and Lann forces himself to look away.

He's pretty sure they're sleeping together. It's hard to know for sure, thanks to his complete lack of experience in interpersonal relationships, not to mention his one and only lover having been someone he'd known since birth. Wenduag was a blunt edge of expectation, and Lann always knew exactly what was happening between them. When it comes to the Commander and Daeran, however, he isn't totally sure.

That unknowing, that gray area of wretched hope, is killing him. Falling for her was not on the agenda, seeing as she'll live for hundreds of years and he's lucky if he's got a decade left. Not to mention that she's (probably) gonna save the world and he's just some Mongrel who's legacy won't extend beyond the small role he's played in the crusade. He's never been a glutton for punishment, what with life underground being horrid enough already, but there is a sweet sting in accepting his unrequited love for her that he can't shake. It drives him, despite it's doomed end, to do whatever he can for her fight. If he cannot give her his heart, he will give her his life.

"You're staring," Seelah whispers, her hulking form crouched next to him as she sharpens her longsword.

"Can you blame me? Looking forlornly into the campfire is just one of my many talents."

Seelah chuckles and jerks her head slightly towards the Commander and Daeran. "Oh you're looking forlornly alright, but it's not at the flames. You should talk to her."

"I do talk to her. I talk to her everyday. Are you saying you don't? Honestly Seelah, she's your commander, you--"

"Fine fine, play coy. I'm just saying Lann, we could die at any minute. Do you really not want her to know how you feel?"

Lann swallows, the ugly reminder of mortality and how the sword strung above him dangles far lower than the Commander's tightening the sinew around his heart. "Sh--she doesn't need any more burdens. The Commander's got enough going on, what with that pesky Worldwound thing." He spares one last glance before turning his body away, enduring the biting cold as the heat of the fire leaves his scaled skin. "She doesn't want to deal with a lovesick Mongrel and really, who could blame her?"

"How could you possibly know what she wants if you don't talk to her?"

"Because it's not her wants I'm concerned with, it's her needs. And she needs me to be good ol' reliable Lann. She needs me to shoot my arrows and kill the baddies. She needs--she needs something she can count on and that something is me."

The Abyss happens all at once and it's a miserable experience for them all. Their time in Drezen made him soft, he thinks, because the camp at the Nexus is horrifically uncomfortable. The ground is somehow colder and harder than any other he's slept on and no amount of fire really chases away the shadows.

They spend a significant amount of time in Alushinyrra, and a significant amount of money staying at the Bad Luck Tavern just to avoid the discomforts of the Nexus. It's on one such expensive stay that a group of frankly moronic thugs try and rob the Commander while she sleeps. Her ever-present and ruthlessly protective Velociraptor dispenses them in quick measure, ripping the throat out of the final victim before Lann even has his bow drawn.

Up until that point they'd opted for three rooms, in groups of two, but they downsize to one after the attack. The Commander's life was hardly in danger but playing with fate isn't something she likes to do, chaotic nature be damned. The tavern owner grumbles but, with a golden incentive, allows them to drag one of the other beds into the room so the sleeping arrangements aren't quite so cramped.

Ember curls up into the Commander's side, her sisterly affection having transformed them from companions to near family. Woljif takes the other bed, offering half of it to Regill. The severe gnome answers him with a severe look and Woljif extends the offer to Lann instead. He glances at Daeran but the Aasimar is already tucking himself into the space between the Commander and the wall. With not a small amount of jealousy, Lann resigns himself to his fate and joins Woljif.

A soft rustling pulls him from a restless slumber some time later and Lann wakes just in time to see the Commander whisper something to Regill, who is stationed at the door, before slipping into the hallway with Daeran in tow. He watches them until they vanish and, as he looks away, makes uncomfortable eye-contact with the gnome. Regill's face is as impassive as always, but Lann feels guilty for some reason, like a kid caught with his hand in the rat cage.

"Is this going to be a problem?" Regill asks him as they head out the next morning. Well, not morning since there is no sun or sky or joy in Alushinyrra.

"Hard to say, this city does tend to be a bit on the rough side," Lann responds.

"The Commander has assured me any physical relationships she has with the party aren't going to be a problem." It's not a question but it's not not a question and Lann looks around to make sure the others aren't paying attention.

"We uh, we aren't in a physical relationship?"

"I know."

"Riiiiiight."

"But you want to be, which is arguably worse. So I'll ask you again, is this going to be a problem?"

It occurs to Lann that he should probably do a slightly better job of keeping his apparently obvious feelings on the Commander to himself. "Uh, no. No, it's not." Regill doesn't seem satisfied but then again, when does he ever? "Is uh, I mean, are the Commander and Daeran--"

"I do not gossip," Regill snarls. "Bother the thief with nonsense like that."

Lann does not, in fact, bother the thief with nonsense like that. Instead, he pushes down the swelling of affection he feels at every interaction with the Commander and focuses on the mission. It goes well enough, all things considered, until Savamelekh shows up and nearly kills him.

The demon's revelations are a bit too much for his overtaxed heart to bear and the subsequent bender doesn't help at all. When the Commander finds him, though, he just babbles on about wanting to prove to her he can be what she wants, what she needs, and that she can trust him. "I want to be somebody you can count on. I don't have anything to offer apart from my bow and my dumb jokes....and my life. And they're all yours, if you want them." He glances away, shame and discomfort crushing him from the inside out. "But I doubt you do, not now that I've let you down."

"....I could never turn my back on someone I care about just like that." She's been talking this whole time but it's these words that register hard and fast. Lann stares at her, and she stares back, and the weight of things unsaid on her face is a blessed curse. He forces a smile, bashful but steady, and pulls away from the conversation. It's too much to think about, especially because hope is not his friend, despite its insistence on hanging around.

Later, back at camp, away from everyone but her sharp-eyed Velociraptor, the Commander comes for him. He's not avoiding her, not that he really could thanks to the nature of their new normal in the Abyss, but he's not not avoiding her either. He's sitting at the edge of the cliff, staring out over the sea of fire and the city of demons. She sits beside him, shoulder to shoulder, and they are quiet for a long time.

"Next time I get drunk and come to pour my heart out to you, I'll jot down notes first," he says lightly, glancing at her. Her face is hard to read, not the open expression she'd given him back at the tavern, but he knows her well enough to know she's bothered by something. "I'm kidding of course. I'd never do that -- I don't do notes, I improvise."

"Why do you do that?"

"Improvisation is just one of my many skills, honed from my illustrious life as a Mongrel hunter. Sometimes, you got out to hunt for some rats and end up fighting a--"

"Lann, stop." He does, if only because her tone is firm. "Why do you always demean what you say with humor?"

"I'm....funny like that?"

She scowls at him and her raptor lets out a soft hiss. He's pretty sure they're connected, somehow, because otherwise that would be just plain freaky. "I love that you're funny, Desna knows we need something lighthearted with Regill around, but sometimes I--" She falters, his rocksteady monument of a Commander, and it scares him. "Sometimes I just want you to tell me how you feel."

His heart races, and hope is such a dangerous, cruel thing. "I did tell you how I felt...I meant what I said, back at the tavern. I...I'd do anything for you." The confession settles between them, demanding to be addressed.

"For me, or for the crusade, for the cause?" She's asking him a different question, he thinks.

"I--"

"Because Lann, I--you are--"

"What about Daeran?" He says it in a rush, because he can't handle whatever it is she's trying to confess.

"What about Daeran?"

"Aren't you--ya know--"

"Lann, would you do anything for me or for the crusade? To whom are you pledging your life too? Is it me? I need to know because I cannot carry on like this."

More shame, some more guilt, all for Lann. Of course his unwanted affections made her uncomfortable, of course he took her caring treatment of him to mean more than it was supposed to. He wants to leave, because he also kind of wants to cry. "Commander..."

"Not commander. Lann, please for this moment can I just be a person to you?"

She's crying, for some reason, and he doesn't know what to do. "You're always a person to me. I--you know that."

"To whom do you pledge your life?"

In the end, he knows what's more important. "The--the crusade." Lann knows that she needs to be able to rely on him without thinking he's reading into her every action, her every word. His wants are second to her needs, just as it should be.

Her face crumples, though, and the twist of her mouth breaks his heart. "Right. Okay. Of course." She stands, dusting her robes off and refuses to look him in the eye. Lann realizes immediately that he's said the wrong thing, despite his efforts to do the exact opposite.

"Commander--"

"Have a good night, Lann. Thank you for….thank you for clearing that up."

Her raptor snarls at him when he stands up to stop her and she is gone.

The next day, she announces they are heading deep into the heart of the Abyss. And, for the first time since he followed her out of the dark and into the sun, she leaves him behind.

Six months. Six long, bloody, dangerous months. He runs point with Greybor, struggling to keep the Commander's hoard of refugees safe, and spends each watch with Solsiel, pointedly not talking about their missing leader.

Several times the idea of her death comes up and he stops fighting against it. He's pretty sure they'd leave but there is no where to go. Groups of demons hunt them for sport and it's a miracle he's able to keep himself in one piece. Nenio is insufferable. Seelah is too positive. He misses Ember, and Wolfji. He misses Regill and his cold practicality. He misses the Commander and the smile she used to shoot him when he'd struck down an enemy in their path.

Eventually, it's just the five of them left. Every other life she'd saved has been systematically eradicated by the horrors of the Abyss. Still, they wait because what else are they supposed to do?

She returns, of course, because she's more myth than woman these days. What was six horrific months in hell for those left behind, was less than two weeks for them. Two weeks. The Commander doesn't cry when she sees the devastation that's been wrought in the wake of her absence. Her left hand trembles, but she stays strong. Just as quickly as they'd come, she shows them the way home.

Drezen is in shambles and it takes another week just to kill the demon forces that have taken their city. In that week, she treats him as warmly as she does Greybor. That is to say, her polite indifference is breaking him.

As things return to normal, and he contends with the loss of his tribe, Lann considers what to do. He's messed up, somehow, and he's spent six months worrying over it. He's pretty sure she wanted him to admit that it was to her he swore his life. He's pretty sure he knows why. A (admittedly short) life spent hunting for things unseen and he completely missed the things she'd tried to say.

He misses her feverishly. She's busy, daily, managing the shambles left of her crusade armies after the Queen had her way with them. The party has yet to leave Drezen since returning and Daeran has yet to leave the Commander's side. Lann feels replaced, usurped, and he cannot take it anymore.

Her door is shut, but there is candlelight spilling out underneath. Before the courage leaves him, he knocks and calls out her name.

"Lann?" She opens the door and he's half expecting to see Daeran, arrogant and naked, sprawled across her bed. Instead it's just her, exhausted and anxious, looking at him with a guarded expression. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, ya know, just everything." He tries for humorous but it comes out pathetic and they both frown. "Can I--can I come in?"

She steps aside, allowing him entrance. He's never been here, in all his time in Drezen, and while he's not totally sure what he expected, it's still a surprise. Her quarters are small, smaller than the house she'd given him upon their initial taking of the city. The desk is covered in maps and missives, and her gear is in a pile by the door. The raptor has a bed, set up beside her own, and Lann is pretty sure it looks far more comfortable than the Commander's. There is nowhere to sit so they both just stand there, awkward and uncomfortable, as she closes the door.

"What's going on? Have you heard from the clan?"

That particular sting of worry rolls over him and Lann shakes his head to push it away. "No, not yet. All quiet on the Mongrel front."

"I'm sorry, Lann." She reaches out for a moment, as if to comfort him, but stops herself short. "We'll find them, I promise."

"I didn't come here to talk about the clan."

"Okay."

"Boy, is this awkward. Uhm," he clears his throat to buy time. "Do you remember that last conversation we had?"

Her expression becomes an echo of the one she wore that night. "I do."

"I uh, I would like to do it over again."

The Commander narrows her eyes. "Why?"

Lann runs a hand through his hair, and stares at the wall beside her because if he looks at her, he'll fall apart. "I think I messed it up."

"Lann, you don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I kinda do."

She shakes her head. "It's okay I know that--what you said it's--we're fine."

"You were gone for six months, ya know. Six shitty, ugly months. You've never left me behind before." It's not an accusation but she flinches anyway. "I had a lot of time to think. Not a lot else to do, really. Well, aside from entertaining Nenio and rejecting Camellia's frankly terrifying propositions."

"She asked to sleep with you?" The Commander is suddenly furious and Lann is shameless in how warm her indignation makes him feel.

"Well, not in so many words and really, I'm kind of dense, but sneaking into my bed at night was--"

"Did she hurt you?"

"I--what?"

"Did she hurt you?"

"I--I don't know what you think sex with a Mongrel is like--"

"You slept together?" Her fury simmers down and turns her face cold.

"No! This isn't about that. I don't want to talk about Camellia. It was only once and--no. She didn't--we--nothing happened."

"You could--"

"Commander, excuse the insubordination here, but please shut up. This isn't easy and I'm losing my nerve." She frowns, but stays silent. "I want to change my answer."

"To what question?"

"To the one you asked me that night. I lied."

"What?" The inflection is too hopeful and Lann forces himself to look at her.

"It's not for the crusade or the cause or the world. It's--it's for you. My life, I mean. I'm pledging it to you. I misread things, I didn't understand what you meant. I--my life, my bow, my dumb jokes, it's yours." He struggles not to fidget, or downplay what he's saying with humor. She's staring at him, and she's crying but this time he knows why. "And my heart. If--if you want it. It's yours."

"Lann," she whispers and closes the gap between them. Her hands come up to cup the sides of his face, and they are trembling. It's a perfect match to his own shaking nerves. "Are you sure?"

He laughs, and it's watery. "It's hardly something precious to me. It's just all I have to give you and--and well really, it's already yours."

"How long?"

"Ugh no, the last thing you need to know is how long I've been pining over you."

"It was the Gargoyle attack for me, the one at the camp." She confesses it so easily, and he's rendered speechless. "When it was you that came to find me and tell me everyone was taken, my very first thought was relief; relief because they didn't take you." She presses her forehead to his own, their noses brushing. "From the moment we left for Colyphyr, I regretted leaving you behind. I could barely focus for the first few days because I was so worried about you. Every day I woke up, expecting to see you, to talk to you, and you weren't there and it was my fault. I was so mad at myself for letting my stupid feelings get in the way but the thought of having you near and knowing you'd never want me that way it--" her voice breaks and he wraps his arms around her, holding her tight.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I should have realized what you were asking, I--"

"No, I'm sorry," She pulls back to look at him. "I'm so sorry I didn't just come right out and ask you how you felt. I was just scared, scared of rejection and what I would do if you said no."

"I would never--I love you." He reddens from ear to tail and he immediately wants to take it back.

Her eyes widened. "You do?"

"Well, I didn't really want to just come out and say it. I was hoping for a little more romance. Some candles, maybe a rat shaped pastry or two. We could probably get someone to play--"

"I love you, too." She captures his mouth with her own before he can stumble over anymore words and Lann relents happily to her efforts. She kisses him like he's always wanted to kiss her, all passion and tenderness, and disgustingly sincere affection. Their arms wind around one another and she pulls him to her bed.

Lann stops her. "We don't have too, really. I know I'm not exactly easy to look at--"

"Lann. I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention.” She sets him down beside her and once more takes his face in her hands. “Don’t you ever, ever talk about yourself that way again, okay? I love you, all of you, every bit and I want you, in any and every way you’ll let me.” She kissed him again, softly. “We don’t have to rush into anything, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just--just please know that, regardless of what you’ve been told, you’re beautiful and--and I will happily take you to bed every night.”

“Just to bed?” He aims for suggestive and, every bit the archer, he strikes true. “But there are so many other places I wish to be taken.”

“We’ll have a veritable world tour of it, but for now, can I have you here? Because this is all I’ve thought about for months and if I don’t fulfill that fantasy, I may die.”

“Regill would have my head for that.”

“He is possibly the least sexy person you could bring up at this point in time.”

Lann crowds into her, forcing her backwards until he has her pinned beneath him. “Imagine the report I’d have to write: Knight-Commander of the Fifth Crusade dies because local Mongrel fails to fulfill her sexual fantasies.” He kisses her once before moving his attention down the breadth of her jawline, and onto her neck. Her breath hitches, pressing her body up into his. “Good thing that’ll never happen because I’m a terrible writer.”

“Lann,” it’s nearly a whine, only just, but it’s enough to make him shudder, “please.” He’s always been excellent at following orders and there is no reason to stop now. Whatever she needs, he thinks, whatever she asks, he’ll give. It’s a scary thought, but it’s the only one he’s had for it feels like his whole life. Her hands snake across the skin of his chest, pulling at his armor with frantic hands. “Let me see you. Let me touch you.”

He relents, and soon they are but a tangled mess of limbs. It’s nothing like he’s known, but he’s ruined forever now. He’s hers, like he has been since that serendipitous moment beneath the ruins of Kenabres, and to his unbelievable shock and surprise, she is his.

[liquorisce]

Now I’m curious about how Zeke and Eren would interact during those six months. I think Zeke is aware the pressing him about it wouldn’t get him anywhere, but would he just act like it didn’t happen? Would Eren just throw himself into his work? (Except when he obsesses over every detail of the reports from the men watching Mikasa, of course)

Eren’s gotten unusually harsher on his men, more ruthless with the people who cross him. Throws himself into work and expects nothing less than 120% from everyone else too. It gets intolerable.

Zeke would… check in on him. He’d try asking if Eren’s sleeping enough… notices that he’s more heavy on the whiskey nowadays… takes him to one of their stripclubs a couple of times to see if a good ol’ lapdance would cheer him up. But there’s a pretty girl wriggling her ass over Eren’s crotch, and jiggling her boobs in his face, but Eren’s just looking up at her with vacant eyes.

She takes his hand and slides it onto her thigh, but Eren’s still unfazed, he’s looking at her but not really, more like just through her, as if she doesn’t exist, as if her body and her presence means nothing to him. Anyway, Eren puts up with it, bc he realises what Zeke is trying to do and he wishes it would work but it doesn’t, so he just leaves, and it’s up to Zeke to ensure the girl is tipped properly. Poor girl is terrified bc the Don just left in a huff looking utterly dissatisfied but she has no idea it has nothing to do with her.

Zeke is persistent tho, tries to pull Eren into his own world of hedonism, so one time when they call hookers, Eren tries his best to give in. He picks the one with the jet black hair and the eyes light enough to be considered grey, who definitely has some speck of Hizuruan heritage in her. But she isn’t anywhere close to Mikasa, and that’s the only thing playing in his mind as her clothes fall to the floor. He has to stroke himself hard so he can fuck her, and he has a different face in his mind, a different voice, something that wraps around his heart and constricts painfully- and he takes that pain out on the girl in front of him. He fucks her harder than he’s ever fucked, unnecessarily rough, and she moans and keens in front of him but it does nothing other than rile him up further.

In the end the only way he gets off is by fucking her from behind, an image of a different woman in front of him, his body remembering what it felt like to be inside her, his lips groaning Mikasa’s name when he comes.

He feels awful after, but he does it again. It feels like some sort of punishment, like he’s striving to forget but he can’t, and this woman who looks a little bit like her cant help at all. Maybe he’s doomed to live out his life obsessed and his love unrequited and somewhere he knows it’s his own fault.

[t00thpasteface]

I would love to know the top 3 questions you were HOPING to get most! (Also to get the answers to said questions 😝)

(19) What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

The TES fandom has stage IV terminal Hiatus-Brain. I actually would like to elaborate on this as a standalone post, but I'm honestly terrified of starting some kind of batshit drama with it, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet (and if you want me to go on, I will):

I feel like there's a lot of (talented, creative, and absolutely galaxy-brained!!!) artists/writers/worldbuilders in the TES fandom who are SO irritated by the actual canon, who devote SO much time to building their own characters and lore, who are SO desperate for representation that TES just will never feasibly have... and I think these folks just honest-to-god need to Read Another Book, so to speak. I feel like they would be a lot happier for it, and that the canon is just holding them back at this point.

Whether that means putting your energy into engaging with art (I hate the term "consuming media" with my entire soul) you actually love, or creating your own, you have got to break out of the vicious cycle of "wouldn't this be a cool TES lore idea" -> good mood -> plays TES game -> "oh I forgot how much I hate the actual canon" -> bad mood. I've been there! It sucks! And believe me, you are not doing yourself any favors by refusing to let go of something you hate!!

(20) What is the purest ship in the fandom?

LDB/Lydia. What can I say? Match made in heaven. Even though Lydia is just the starter housecarl and doesn't have any grand backstory, something about this ship is just giving "childhood friends to lovers" for me. Which I am always a sucker for. Something about the fact that you're guaranteed to get her at the very start of the game, when you've barely even seen a fraction of Skyrim, and you can keep her with you the whole rest of the way... I don't know, it's very sweet, very pure. And you know I love the whole "mutual pining roadblocked by social hierarchy" trope. LDB and Lydia both thinking the other one is just playing their part as hero or housecarl and worrying that their love is unrequited... Gah!! So cuuuute!!

(21) What are your thoughts on crack ships?

I've said this before, but it always bears repeating: crack ships are a blessing. More people need to just relish in the ridiculousness of crack ships. Modern fandom is defined by speculation, conspiracies, campaigning for headcanons/ships to be "endgame", and even harrassing creators/devs/actors/showrunners for failing to live up to the hype or fanon. Crack ships are a wonderful, uncomplicated pleasure that gives a big ol' fuck you to all of that.

I don't think a ship needs to be feasible within the story itself. I don't even think the characters need to get along, really. As long as you're NOT, like, literally producing cartoon kiddie pr0nz, which should go without saying, I think you should be able to go absolutely nuts and ship whatever the hell you want. And have fun doing it!!

I have a lot of fond memories of the wild west days of the earlyish Homestuck fandom (from the trolls up to the Gigapause), where it was almost kind of a game to come up with the most batshit crack ships and to hoard them like a multishipping dragon. I still love the quadrant system. It's a shame that the culture on Tumblr overall has shifted away from that outlook and turned into what I can only describe as slow-burn racetrack betting. It's borderline soulless!

And yes, I include crossover ships in this. I've enjoyed a few myself, especially as a tween playing Smash Bros and looking up fanart on the family desktop. And remember that Samurai Bravo explosion back when s5 of Samurai Jack was on everyone's mind? In the immortal words of KC & the Sunshine Band, THAT'S the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) I like it!! Just good, wholesome, crazy fun.