#i lost my copy of advance wars 1

[socialistexan]

The nostalgia cycle got me again lads 😞

[emeritusemeritus]

Vulnera Sanentur [Weasley Twins x Reader]

Part 5

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Title: Vulnera Sanentur

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley {established relationship}

Timeline: DH1&2- Initially set during the battle of the seven potters. Canon and certain plot points have been altered for the needs of the story.

Summary: The battle of the seven Potters throws your world into chaos when one of your boyfriend’s is cursed. As Snape’s ex-potions assistant and previous protégée, you recognise the inflicted curse immediately and demand answers from your mentor.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of war and Voldy, descriptions of injury and blood, descriptive smut, p in v sex, shower sex, tension. Outside sex. Semi public sex. None sexual nudity. Crying. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Arguments. Probably some cursing. Mentions of nightmares. Reader is part of the Order of the Phoenix. Mentions of death (Dumbledore). Mentions of Tonks’ pregnancy. On it got a angsty. So much angst I can’t tag it all. Not spellchecked nor beta read, we die like Madeye.

Clearly I’m in my angst era 🖤

Three days had passed since George had lost his ear in the mission to get Harry back to the Burrow safely and each day George's wound seemed to improve dramatically; it was almost completely healed now, no longer leaking or swollen and only a little sore. His overall mood however, seemed to be deteriorating with each passing day as the reality sunk in, the insecurities and sensitivities bubbling up inside of him, despite your honest and repeated confirmation that he was still your George and still gorgeous. With each day he'd withdrawn a little more, showing less affection and had even taken to sleeping on his own in the single bed. Around the others, he laughed and joked just like normal but in private he was cold and distant with you. Fred had noticed and had pulled him up on it once or twice, delicately questioning what was going off with him, what you'd done wrong, but each time George would deflect the question and find a way to avoid answering entirely. You'd hardly interacted at all the previous day, finding it too hard to be rejected and denied by the man you loved and he had even gone as far as to get Molly to change his bandage so that he wouldn't have to be alone with you. You understood, to a point. You knew he'd be feeling insecure about it and he had a lot to process in terms of adjusting to his new normal, mourning his lost ear and no doubt processing the trauma from the attack, but you still couldn't help but feel devastated that he was outwardly rejecting you, pushing you away, especially after you'd tried everything to help him.

You'd thrown yourself into research, hiding away in Charlie's old, vacant bedroom which you were using as a makeshift work space for potion brewing and research. You'd brewed a myriad of helpful, healing potions, ensuring the order would always have a full supply of whatever they should need, as far as your abilities stretched at least. Text books and old potion books were littered around you as you frantically searched for any hope that you could regenerate or replace George's ear but so far there was nothing. Cursed limbs could not be replaced. You'd been taught that over and over by both Lupin and Snape in your school years but you couldn't stop yourself from trying anyway.

You were scribbling down notes from an old copy of Moste Potente Potions, having found an interesting article about Linfred of Stitchcombe and his medicinal advancements when a knock at the door shocked you. Before you'd even had the chance to call out, the door opened and Fred stuck his head in, his eyes flicking over the mess all around you.

"Mum says tea's nearly ready," he says, casting a sideways glance at you and then returning his gaze to the mess of books and parchment that seemed to consume you.

"Thanks but I need to finish this, can't step away from it yet," you said, gesturing towards the cauldron in the back of the room that was currently brewing calming draught, in the hopes that you could use it on George to rid his shock and trauma, at least temporarily. To accentuate your point, you lifted a finger and with a quick flick, the ladle inside the cauldron stirred the blue-hued liquid, the peppermint scent filling the room even more as it stirred and mixed together.

You heard Fred let out a sigh and you caught sight of him just in time to see his shoulders droop just a little in defeat.

"He'll come around you know," Fred says quietly after a few moments of silence which you'd worked through, flicking through pages of a book you'd searched over and over. You knew he was right, but you were a ball of frustration and pain, desperately trying to keep yourself together and keep yourself from hurting anyone else around you.

"I know," you replied, your tone even. You didn't want to think about it anymore, or keep talking about it and so you gestured for the cauldron to stir once again and went back to thumbing through the book you'd pulled.

When you heard the door shut, you immediately sank into yourself and cast the book aside aggressively, tears falling from your eyes before you could stop them. Only days ago you'd woken up in your bed beside the two men you loved most in the world, completely unaware of what would happen, though of course you knew it was dangerous. Even after, you'd woken up in George's arms and everything seemed manageable, like you could navigate through it together and be there for him, only he didn't want you to. He pulled away and you felt lost, robbed and guilty for pulling away from Fred to give George some space from you, hoping he'd come around soon.

You never made it to dinner that night, nor breakfast the next morning as you agonised over your notes, feeling like there was something missing. Neither George nor Fred had been up since then and you'd worked through the night, stopping only briefly for a few hours sleep as you crawled into the bed out of sheer exhaustion, your eyes not able to comprehensively read anything anymore.

You aggressively sighed when a knock at the door stopped your obsessive reading but when Hermione's voice called out from beyond the door, you put down your book and frowned, curious as to why she would need you. You called out for her to enter and tried to smooth back your hair, particularly the strands you'd pulled out of your haphazard braid in sheer frustration.

She stepped through the door holding a glass of pumpkin juice and a plate of toast, seemingly unfazed by your crazed lair of books.

"Molly sent this," she said, placing down the crockery on the table beside you before moving to sit down on the floor in front of you, crossing her legs.

"Thanks," you said in reply, looking at her with questioning eyes, waiting for the mini lecture to come.

"Have you had much luck?" She asks, gazing at your notes briefly, "Fred said you had been brewing non-stop. Calming Brew is notoriously difficult, I've never been able to."

"Hermione," you said firmly but gently, stopping her kind but unappreciated small talk. "Why are you really here?" You walked the line between firm and rude, hoping that you were falling somewhere on the lighter side but in your exhaustion and overstimulated state, it was hard to tell. Her hands fall to her lap as she plays with them, taking a deep breath as if she's gathering courage.

"Dumbledore gave Harry a task before he died, something which we're sure is crucial to defeating you-know-who, but it's hard to know where to even start, where we need to go and what we might need," she says, not making eye contact. Even in your sleep deprived state, you can tell she's holding back information but right now you were loathe to care. "I'm trying to be prepared for every eventuality, I've been gathering things for months, knowing we might need to leave at any time but there's so much more we might need."

"And you want me to brew some potions for you?" You said, filling in the blanks. Only then does she look up at you with a slight frown, considering her next words carefully.

"Actually, we want you to join us."

You instinctively frown at her in reply, all words falling flat on your tongue as you consider her words.

"Me, why? You finally manage to ask, astounded by her request.

"Y/n," she says, a small, polite smile tugging at her lips, "you're a brilliant witch, a master of potions and the magic you produced to heal George was something I've only ever read about in history books. We hadn't asked you before because we knew you'd never leave Fred and George but it seems the three of us won't be able to do it alone, we had to ask."

You sat in silence as you processed her words, conflict building inside you as you considered your options. Truthfully, your current emotions and circumstances were guiding your decisions but you couldn't deny it was an intriguing proposal. You knew Hermione was serious from the crease in her brow that had only seemed to get more prominent with each passing day.

"I assume there's no time frame?" You ask, feeling your frantic mindset fading from you, a calmness overtaking you instead. She shook her head and averted her eyes down to the book which was laid out in front of her.

"And I can't tell anyone?" You assumed.

"I wiped my parents memory, they don't know I exist anymore," she said in a small voice, wringing her hands harder now, the skin of her palms turning pure white, "it was safer for them, and for me. The order don't know but Ron is telling Molly tonight. You can tell F-"

"Better not to, at least right now," you interject quickly, shooting down that line of thought. She nods in understanding and you let out a deep breathe you'd not realised you'd been holding, breathing restricted by the tension within you.

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course," she says with a smile, moving to stand as she wipes off her hands on the front of her jeans. She gives you a little smile and walks out, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You begin to clear up the books and notes, placing them in a mostly neat pile in the corner, focusing your attention on the batch of muffling draught, that had been requested by Madeye before he died for Order use.

You left it barely simmering and took a seat on the unmade bed you'd been sleeping in and let out a long and drawn out sigh. Thoughts were swirling in your brain of every possible option and path. Could you leave Fred and George? What if something happened whilst you were away? What if you never came back? Being away from them when they were transporting Harry was sheer torture, could you go through that again? Or rather, could you put them through that?

The possibility of helping bring down Voldemort was incredibly appealing, knowing that the cause and the Order was more important than personal lives now, the imminent threat of an outright war seeming more and more likely with each passing day. Harry was the best chance we had of defeating Voldemort and your role in the Order was to accomplish this by any means necessary, even if it meant great personal sacrifice.

You sat stewing on your thoughts for a while, making a virtual pros and cons list in your mind, trying to plan ahead but without knowing what needed to be done, it was impossible.

A movement from outside the house caught your eye and you moved over to the window to look out into the garden and surrounding fields, seeing the Weasley men outside erecting the large white marquee for the wedding tomorrow. Fred and George were off to one side whilst Ron and Arthur stood on the other, all of them brandishing their wands in an effort to raise and set up the large tent. Your gaze lingered on Fred before moving to George, who looked in good spirits as they joked between themselves. A flash of pain ran through you as you considered walking out and helping but realising that George would probably ignore you or make excuses to leave, rejecting you once again.

You were about to look away when you noticed a figure in the distance suddenly appear as if out of nowhere, walking stiffly with a large briefcase in his hand as he strode determinedly towards the Burrow. As he walked closer to the house, his facial features and appearance began to get clearer to you, his somewhat familiar, droopy face that seemed to be fixed into a neat permanent frown and shoulder length brown hair.

Rufus Scrimgeour. The new Minister for Magic.

You hurriedly ran down the staircase and rushed into Fred and George's room, quickly throwing a fresh shirt on and began walking out into the kitchen when you saw the minister walk into the house, guided by Arthur.

"I'll need Mr Potter, Mr Ronald Weasley, Miss Hermione Granger and Miss y/n y/l/n," he says after shooting down any small talk formalities. Almost immediately, you feel two sets of eyes land on you, both from the 6ft 3 redheads who were hovering around the door. "We'll need somewhere private," he says, looking around at the multiple sets of eyes who are all looking between themselves in suspicion.

"And to Miss y/n y/l/n, I leave my lebetum, in the fond hope that you will never need this.”

The minister then handed the black object to you, a curious looking thing, something you’d never seen nor heard of before. It was similar to the deluminator in ways, looking like the first of its kind. It was long and cylindrical, ornate in design with a fragment of misted glass embedded onto the front. You turned it over in your hand and frowned, looking down at the curious object.

When the Minister left, you, Ron, Hermione and Harry sat in silence for a few moments, all of you processing what had just happened with Albus Dumbledore's will and the bequeathments. Why had Dumbledore chosen you? The golden trio made sense and you'd been close to Dumbledore of course but it was a big surprise to be included.

"It seems Dumbledore wants you onboard too," Harry says after a moment, taking your eyes flicker to his, the glare from his light reflecting glasses shielding his eyes from you.

"Yeah, have you thought about it?" Ron asks, his hand running along the seams of his corduroy trousers, a pair that you recognised Fred abs George to have worn a few years ago, a tiny splatter of ink still visible on the right knee.

You sighed, unsure.

"Still deciding, I want to but," you said, trailing off. You pulled the sleeves down over your hands, trying to give yourself a little regulatory comfort.

"You can't leave them behind," Hermione says softly, anticipating your answer. You nod gently, not meeting anyone's eyes as flashes of Fred and George play in your mind. The thought of leaving them makes your stomach turn uncomfortably, makes you want to sob at the very thought but there was a greater good that needed to be accomplished and you couldn't let fear nor personal feelings be the reason you rejected their proposal.

"But I can't be selfish, not now, if you need me then I'm with you," you say, looking up at Harry, "this task, will it work?"

"It's the best chance we have to defeat Voldemort."

"Then I'm in."

The minute Ron told Molly about their plans, you disappeared back upstairs, away from the conflict and back up to Charlie's old bedroom. Fleur's parents would be arriving this afternoon and you needed to clear away all your stuff from the bedroom to make room for more guests. You checked on your potion and were pleased with the result, bottling it up and cleaning the cauldron with a flourish of your wand. The books, quills and parchment you'd put to one side were all cleared up and collected off the floor as you cast a quick tidying spell, cleaning the sheets and resetting the room back to it's usual setting. You carried the huge and heavy pile of books down the staircase until you stood in front of Fred and George's closed bedroom door, feeling incredibly awkward as you considered knocking, feeling unwelcome for the first time in your relationship.

You didn't knock but instead grabbed the handle and stepped in, struggling under the weight of the books as you set out to find the bag your enchanted with an extension charm.

George was lay on the bed reading when you walked in and for a brief moment you thought that everything could be normal again as he looked up at you, thinking he would open his arms for you to cuddle into, just as you always had. But that was not the case today. Instead, he shifted slightly on the bed so that his body was almost facing away from you whilst still being able to read and a fresh pang of sadness washed over you all over again. You willed yourself not to cry, at least not until you'd left the room and located your bag, placing the notes and books into the bag before moving to your other belongings.

You rummaged through your things, trying to stay quiet as to not antagonise George further before stopping and cursing, not finding the cardigan that you were looking for. You sighed and stood, walking to the set of drawers near the window and pulled out the second drawer, seeing an array of matching wool jumpers. You pulled a burgundy one out from the pile and unfolded it, seeing that it was emblazoned with the letter 'G'. In a move that upset you greatly, you folded the jumper back up and placed it back into the drawer, reaching instead for it's matching counterpart with the 'F' pattern. You closed the drawer and threw on the jumper, wanting to get out of the room immediately as the tension was much too strong and uncomfortable.

You cast a glance to George as you walk out, seeing him sprawled on the bed reading had always been one of your favourite sights, but though he of course looked handsome in the moment, you just felt empty and sad. His eyes slowly drag up to your exiting form but he says nothing and looks back to his book only moments later, apparently not feeling the need to address you at all. Anger began to simmer in you at his outward dismissal and without thought you began speaking.

"Your bandage needs changing," you say in a shockingly cold tone which sounds odd even to your own ears.

"Mum'll do it," he mumbles, barely even sparing you any attention. His words and tone only infuriate you more and you have to bite your tongue, and physically bite the inside of your cheek, to keep your composure, wanting nothing more in that moment than to scream at him. You'd seen him laughing and joking with Fred earlier, why was it just you he was so cold with? Irritation and resentment bubbled up inside of you and you had to be incredibly selective of your next words.

"I'll have to apply some potion to it tomorrow morning, help the scars," you say blankly, leaving no room for his comments as you walked out of the door, the harsh exterior falling from you the second you shut the door behind you, perhaps a little too aggressively in hindsight.

When you reached the bottom of the stairs, Molly immediately recruited you to help out with wedding preparation, having you fluctuate between helping in the kitchen with her and setting up the table for the meal which would be eaten outside on account of the numerous guests staying.

After your chores were finished, you checked to see Fred and George still de-gnoming the garden with Harry and Ron, supposedly taking extra precautions to rid all of the pests from the lawn and surrounding area. Seeing that they were occupied, you took the opportunity to slip back upstairs and entered their room determinedly as you locked the door with a flick of your wand, sat at the desk and pulled out som parchment and ink.

You weren't sure what to write, not knowing the full extent of Dumbledore's task, but you knew it would be dangerous and potentially life threatening, meaning that this letter would be the last thing they had of you if you didn't make it back.

You began with Fred's letter, finding it much easier at present to tell him all the things you needed him to know. Tears slipped from your eyes a few times with the more emotional passages as you tried to explain why you'd gone and how much you loved him. You folded up the letter once you were happy with it and slipped it into a spare envelope that the twins kept in the desk drawer for their owl post orders.

You sat looking at the blank page for what seemed like hours, trying to think of what to say to George. It was hard because you were so hurt but you chose to push that aside, knowing that this might be the last time you'd ever write to him, plus you didn't know when you would be leaving and this may had all blown over by the time he reads this letter.

You placed George's into an envelope too and considered where you were going to store them until you needed them. You thought your bag at first or maybe under their pillows but both were too risky. Instead, you walked to the shelf in the nook of the room and pulled out a potions book that was left over from your teenage years in the room. In front of that was a pinned, magical photo of the three of you, no older than 15, making a snowman outside in the Hogwarts Courtyard, all with your arms around each other with goofy grins on your face. You slipped the letters into the book, not concealing them entirely but just enough, preparing your last clue that would lead them there if you left.

"Princess?" You heard from the other side of the door as someone, who you now knew to be Fred, jingled the door handle. You unlocked the door with your wand and Fred walked in with a concerned look on his face, moving to walk over to you.

"Why was the door locked? You okay?" He asks and you smile up at him, moving to stand in front of him before wrapping your arms around his waist. His arms immediately surround you as he pulls you in to his chest, cuddling you tightly.

"Better now," you mumble into his chest, feeling instantly comforted by his touch.

"Thought I'd lost you to your work," he says playfully and you pull away just a little to crane your neck upwards to look at him.

"Still here, still yours," you smile, reaching up onto your tiptoes for a kiss which he gives you without hesitation. It's short and sweet but meaningful as his left hand clutches your waist, seemingly needing this just as much as you. You smile at each other as you pull away, only to frown a moment later when George walks into the room calling out to Fred, stopping mid conversation as he realises you are there.

Your face drops and the happiness you felt only a few seconds before slips away from you as George makes no move to join you, no joke or tease and certainly no move to steal you away from his brother as they so often did.

"I'll just... see if your mum needs any help," you mumble awkwardly, stepping out of Fred's hold and walking over to the door in defeat.

"You stupid git," you hear Fred say harshly to George just as you close the door. You desperately want to stay and listen to what they are going to say but you decide not to, knowing that it will only upset you further. You can hear the muffled sound of raised voices and a telltale humming noise that alerts you to the fact that they had used a specific silencing charm and your gut twists once again, feeling like the root of the problem. You'd only reached the fourth step down when Fred bursts through the door, shaking his head until he spots you and all the anger falls from his face. He takes your hand as soon as you'd both stepped off the stairs and he leads you to the empty lounge, sitting down first before pulling you down onto the sofa so that you fall into his lap. His arms lock tightly around you and for the first time in days you feel familiarity and comfort. So much so, that you don't even realise your eyes closing as sleep overtakes you, wrapped securely in Fred's arms.

You wake up comfy, cozy and a little confused, still cuddled into Fred though you are no longer alone. George is sat beside you both on the sofa, in touching distance and you fight against your tired eyes as they threaten to close.

"Hey sleeping beauty," Fred smirks down at you, clearly having felt you shift in his lap. You shush him and cuddle into his shoulder a little more, hesitantly flicking your eyes over to George who is, rather surprisingly, looking at you.

"Nice sleep?" He asks, his tone lighter than you'd heard in days when he'd been addressing you. You simply nod in reply, suddenly sheepish at the concept of chatting with him, expecting him to say something hurtful or pull away again if you opened your mouth. His lips turn up at the edges to give you a soft smile but you don't focus on it for long, turning instead to look around you, checking of anyone else was there. You were all alone and under regular circumstances you'd relish in the time together, knowing how rare it was when you were at the Burrow but right now it just felt awkward and weird.

"I'm gonna get a drink," you say quietly as you attempt to climb off of Fred, feeling painfully thirsty after your nap.

"I'll join you," George says as you walk away and you don't even reply, just continue walking around the corner into the kitchen. Any hope that George was going to explain himself fell flat the second you walked into the kitchen and saw Molly whizzing about like her head was on fire, a couple of her children following behind her as she prepares for Fleur's family to arrive. Dinner than night was hosted outside with gorgeous twinkling lights in the trees and a lavish spread that had taken Molly all day to prepare. You sat beside the twins and though George was a little more cordial than before, you still felt distanced from him and wished more than ever that things would just go back to normal.

Later that night you lay in bed with Fred's arm protectively draped across your waist, your body pressed tightly to his front as he spooned you from behind whilst George lay on the other side, not even remotely touching you. You'd had to push the beds together to make room for the extra cot in the room, where Ron lay sleeping just for tonight, having been evicted from his own room as Bill and Charlie took his, Arthur and Molly took Charlie's and Monsieur and Madame Delacour took Molly and Arthur's room. 

Having George this close to you only seemed to make him feel further away and you cried yourself to sleep that night, tears silently streaming down your face and soaking your pillow until you eventually fell into a restless sleep.

Next

[chubsonthemoon]

Binderary 2023 Wrap-Up!

Binderary 2023 is over, and I come bearing some stats, thoughts, and a compiled list of my QOTD answers! :3

Stats:

Books planned: 7

Books completed: 7/7 (woohoo!)

Fandoms: 3 (Yuri on Ice, Harry Potter, and The Sandman)

Total word count: 340,654

List of books (from left to right):

Maybe sprout wings by @moorishflower

Flower King by @landwriter

The Politeness of Princes by @aboxthecolourofheartache

Uncertain Results (also by Box!)

I'm caught inside every open eye (also also by Box :3)

Not pictured (on account of them being given away as gifts!):

My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie (aka xxxbloodyrists666xxx) (community typeset by @renegadepublishing)

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by @kazliin (typesetting by @ziezie13 <3)

QOTD answers under the cut (and these are copied directly from our DW post, just with added tumblr @'s!)

1. What does Renegade mean to you?

Renegade has, in all honesty, probably changed the course of my life! That's not hyperbole--it's had such a huge influence on my hobbies, my friendships, my academic trajectory, even my career. I was still in undergrad when I found ASH's post on fanbinding, and I was very lost as to what the next steps would be. And like so many others experienced, the pandemic only made things even murkier and more isolating. Then I found ASH's manifesto in June 2020, worked up the courage to join the Discord in July 2020, and found a community of like-minded weirdos who were just as passionate (if not even more so!) about their favorite stories, and a craft that I fall a little bit more in love with every day (well, most days. fuckin printers man XD). I wrote my honors thesis thanks to Renegade; I've made lifelong friends thanks to Renegade; I have my current job, in a field I love, thanks to Renegade. (My first Rocky Horror Picture show at Havencon 2022? All thanks to Renegade :D) This really feels like my forever fandom home-- even when I jump around from fandom to fandom, there's always a wonderful and supportive community to fall back on. In short, I really love it here, I'm so pleased with what we've done so far, and I can't wait to see where we go! ❤️

2. Favorite Fic

As everyone else who answered this, this question is IMPOSSIBLE. However, if you put a gun to my head and told me to answer right now, I'd have to say Tell Me About the Big Bang (my binding of it here!) It's one of the fics that has touched me most deeply and which has probably had the greatest influence on my writing. It was one of the first fics I'd ever bound, and I really wanted to rebind it to see how far I've come!

3. One thing you'd like to learn more about

GOD SO MANY THINGS. Backing! Headband techniques. Chisel trimming. Edge gilding. Tiny books. More advanced Cricut techniques. More cohesive and professional-looking graphic design. This hobby is really a dozen hobbies in a trench coat, and there's so much to explore.

4. Paper!

For my textblocks, I use 20 lb. cream Hammermill paper! I order it in 11"x 17" and get it cut in half for short grain, like a lot of other folks at Renegade. Recently I've started experimenting with quarto-sized Legal (8.5"x 14")and fell in love. I also want to try a bunch of the other paper that folks have suggested (looking at @robins-egg-bindery Mohawk Via o.o). For my endpapers, I usually use scrapbook paper from those scrapbook paper packs you can get at Michaels and Joann's (and when they're on sale...WOOF)

5. Cloth!

DUO BOOKCLOTH MY BELOVED. God I wish I'd gotten in on the Renegade group order - but ah well. Big fan of making my own though! There are just so many options to choose from, so it really expands what you can do (again: a dozen hobbies and crafts in a trench coat)

6. The Glue War

LOVE me some PVA! I know that it gives you less time to do things, but I get impatient XD. Plus it's cheap and easy to find and ready to use right out of the bottle, which is great. I've tried my hand at making starch paste + PVA with very mixed (ha!) results, although I had a wonderful time with some methyl cell that @simply-sithel gifted me at Havencon last year <3 So mayhaps will have to buy more of that for a future project!

I also love my Cricut Explore 2, Charlotte! She holds up very well, although I think she's due for a blade refill soon. I've just been setting my pressure higher and higher LOL

7. Machines

Love my Epson ecotank! I recently bought it--for the first two years I was going to my local print shop because the quality was great and I had a discount card. Unfortunately the discount card eventually expired, so I decided to bite the bullet and get my own printer. I really love it! I didn't want to have to deal with laser and printing in color can get pricey--the cartridges are just so goddamn expensive, although I do think laser prints in higher quality. Mayhaps a future purchase, because I'd really like to experiment with foiling!

8. Favorite binding technique

Ooh this one is interesting! I know which part of the process I enjoy the most, which is sewing! Kettle stitch my beloved. ALTHOUGH I am a sucker for the French link too--it's just so pretty! And we just had a wonderful workshop put on last week by @queercore-curriculum on their...embroidered binding/long-stitch binding (??? I don't know if there's an official name for it yet), which I LOVE. Glueless bindings are SO cool and I would love to experiment more with them.

9. Your best tip/trick

Ooh! Hmmm...I'd say: never bind while you're super tired/hungry LOL. I've made many a preventable mistake very late at night because I wanted to get something cased in or glued before bed when I probably should've waited till morning XD That being said, on the flip side I think you should never be afraid to experiment! Go hog wild!!! Use those glitter pens!! Try out that fancy silk for your endbands!! Try that new binding style! And if you fuck up, remember that's okay too! These are handmade objects and those mistakes are proud proof of that, and of your journey as a fanbinder. Stick 'em in the channel on the Discord, laugh and (maybe cry a little XD) about it, and then keep going. tldr; ya live and learn!

10. Favorite Detail

Ooh, this one's hard! I love leaving little Easter eggs in my designs. I'd say my favorite is putting my maker's mark on things! My imprint is Moonham Press (a fun mix of my usernames, chubsthehamster and chubsonthemoon), and the logo includes a little crescent moon. I'd actually been binding for about two years when I finally made the imprint--I used to think that it was...idk, kind of weird to put myself in the book? Like I was taking away from the story inside it. But then I got to thinking--well, hey, I'm the one who made this book, right? If nothing else, putting my mark on it tells someone who may pick it up one day that I was connected to this story. Some conversations with some folks at Renegade during Havencon 2022 also helped me embrace this. So these days I put my imprint logo in the typesetting, and I also put it on the cover somewhere! My favorite spots are either on the spine, between the title and author name, or on the back cover, in the bottom left corner :D

11. Spines

Spines are the bane of my existence. Haha, jk. They're mostly just tedious, since they're one of the only parts of the process that still require precise measurement (I've cut templates for everything else by now, and I use my guillotine to cut boards, so that goes super fast). For my thicker books I use Bristol board; I actually still use the same sheets I bought in 2020 when I first started binding--I didn't know how much I would really need so I think I ordered four massive sheets which will probably last me for ten years LOL. For my thinner books, I use Davy board, which is a pain to cut but gives the book a really nice board feel. And for my paperbacks, the spine is just the cover, which I make out of kraft paper for the backing + the decorative paper (usually scrapbook paper or something I've designed and printed)

12. Mistakes/Fails

Ooh BOY are there many. My most recent was my experiment with making a hardback quarto letter. I made the hinge waaaaay too small so when I tested the case the textblock was sticking out of it LOL. But I've been pretty lucky--this is only the second case I've had to remake in my time as fanbinder *KNOCKS ON WOOD*, but my printer fuck-ups when I was trying to figure out how to print on legal sized paper (since my printer doesn't duplex) probably make up for the luck I've had in the case department XD. Casing in, though--I think I've had maaaaaybe...two or three case-ins where I was completely happy with the results. A large part of this is because my guillotine doesn't cut completely straight, so my squares are never even LOL. But hey, I'm not getting paid for this, and I'm having fun, so eh.

13. Process

Ooh, interesting! My process has remained largely unchanged--I think the only thing that has really changed is now the frequency at which I print. I used to print at a print shop, so I'd make typesets in large batches--usually two to four books, sometimes more (I think the most I've done at a time is five?), and I'd make a day out of it. Now that I have my printer at home though, I can do things in smaller batches! I can also test print things, so I've been able to get a lot more experimental with my books sizes and my covers. Everything else has remained largely the same--the first book I did I typeset in MS Word, but everything after that I've all done in Affinity Publisher. I typeset > print > bind > take pictures! I really like how different each step is (like I said, twelve different hobbies in a trench coat), so there's always something different to do if I get bored. My favorite parts are probably designing covers and sewing the signatures!

14. Storage solutions

OUGH. I have one of those rollaway drawer thingies for all my tools, a dozen scrapbook paper containers, several large baskets for my vinyl and cloth, a hanging stand for my larger sheets of decorative paper, a standing desk which holds my Cricut and printer (a few of the aforementioned vinyl baskets are under this desk too), another rollaway basket thingy that holds my printing paper and my press (also under the standing desk), another desk which holds both my two guillotines and cutting mats (and under that desk are all my scrapbook paper containers and Cricut mats), and a final third desk where I keep all my sewing stuff and where I do my typesetting and other sitting-down parts of the process. And of course my shelves for all my books! This doesn't really give a sense of where everything is, but it's actually fairly organized, and for the most part I know where everything is (except for my FUCKING bone folder god that thing is always ending up in places I do not remember putting it XD)

15. Your Workspace

Ah, see my answer to 14! I'll probably upload a photo here later XD

16. Dust jackets and covers

Oooh, I've never made a dust jacket before--I don't think my printer could handle the wonky paper size that it requires, but they look really cool and I'd maybe be up for making one someday! And covers! Both my greatest love and my greatest enemy. They're super fun to design, but this is one part of the process that always feels like an uphill battle for me! There are so many skilled and talented folks in Renegade with GORGEOUS covers, and it's always a mix of being incredibly inspired and getting some design envy--but either way it's very motivating to keep me out of my comfort zone and to always keep trying new things. I use decorative paper and scrapbook paper mostly for the base material (although I've begun experimenting with designing things digitally and printing them out on Epson matte presentation paper), and then the rest is fuck it, we ball. I usually design the cover last, so I have an entire typeset and title page already when I begin, which makes things a little easier since I have an already established aesthetic to work with. My font selection is kind of determined by how small the text for the title/author name is, since my Cricut isn't great at cutting super small sizes (Times New Roman, funnily enough, is one of the only fonts that it can do at smaller sizes LOL so a lot of the text on my covers/spines are in TNR). I'm excited to keep improving and experimenting in this area!

17. Published inspiration

Ooh!! This one's fun--when I first began making my Master pages in Affinity publisher, I literally grabbed the first few books I saw on my shelf and said 'alright, this looks good' and haven't looked back since LOL. Those books were Vintage's editions of Toni Morrison's novels, Picador's Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, Vintage's edition of Willa Cather's The Song of the Lark, Fall River's omnibus editions of Shakespeare and Sherlock Holmes's works, Penguin Classic's Deluxe edition of Jane Austen's novels, and a few others that I can't remember. I looked at all these books, found what they had in common (for example, a simple title page before the decorative title page, the use of a single graphic or design at the beginning of each chapter, etc.) and went with that! I don't usually take inspiration from specific books, EXCEPT for a project I'm currently working on which I'm super excited about :3 More TK here eheh (ADDITION 3/7: I was talking about Maybe sprout wings here LOL)

18. Illustrations

FANART MY BELOVED. I LOVE including fanart in my books, because it's such a lovely demonstration of the communal nature of these stories and it's so fun getting to collect all the pieces. For free use graphics my favorite sites are Adobe Stock images and Heritage Library. Heritage in particular has a beautiful selection of free vintage graphics packs that I've used for years now. And very occasionally, wingdings fonts will have something I really like XD

19. Favorite tool

Despite my gripes earlier about always misplacing it, I ADORE my bone folder. It's a funky lil dude and it makes all my edges nice and crisp! I can't wait for the retreat bone folder fufu :3 Also a very big fan of my guillotine, which despite its flaws makes my life a hell of a lot easier in the long run, as well as my presses, which were handmade by my dad and do their jobs very well (squiiiiiiish)

20. Favorite part of the binding process

Oooh, this one's fun! I really like the actual construction of the book--sewing sigs is always relaxing and has been one of my fave parts since the very beginning. Recently I've started to really enjoy designing covers, especially if there are a lot of physical elements (like layering scrapbook paper or playing around with Mod Podge).

I had the absolute privilege to hold @clovenhoofbindery's copy of Away Childish Things at Havencon last year. Literally every book Space makes I fall in love with, and her designs are a HUGE inspiration for me. Everything from the typesetting to cover design to physical construction--I lose my marbles every time.

21. Inspo: The binder that inspired you!

Ohhh this one's so hard! Literally every time I check the #show-off channel in the Discord I'm struck by so many beautiful books. I'm going to cheat and name a few people here, but this list is by no means comprehensive and doesn't even begin to cover everyone I could name.

Everything @pleasantboatpress binds is just so beautiful. Their color choices are always inspired and their headbands make me want to cry! Their bind of Unconditional in particular had me foaming at the mouth.

The quality of everything @zhalfirin-binds makes, likewise, always blows me away. Her books are so polished and professional, and her photos make me feel like I'm in a museum when I'm trawling her blog for inspo!

@simply-sithel's tiny books are literally the coolest things ever! I'm still working my way through the Binderary vids and I can't wait to get to hers. Six plays with form in mind-bending and truly innovative ways, and her blog is wonderland of tiny and fantastical book creatures.

@teleportbooks's binds are the definition of classy and refined. They're so good at designing their books according to the contents of the fic--their binding of Thirty-Three Lashes in particular is just the best design centered around fic content and title I've seen. Their designs always make me melt a little when I see them!

@no-name-publishing's endbands are to DIE for. Like fr I am in awe every time!!! And Kam's cover + title page designs are a huge source of inspo for me--forever in love with this bind of theirs, with the beautiful painted cover + matching endpapers T_T

And of course!!! I (and everyone else) wouldn't be here without our beloved leader, @armoredsuperheavy. He's the first binder that ever inspired me, and he continues to do so today!

22. Inspo: The fic that inspired you!

My original answer was also my answer for 27 ("First bind"), but I'm gonna say something a little different here! I usually know pretty quickly whether I'm interested in binding something, but very rarely has a fic gotten me hook, line, and sinker the way @that-banhus's King of Infinite Space did. Like, from the first line I was like "oh god I need to hold this one." And eventually I did! :3

23. Author spotlight: Someone you've bound

AHHHHHH this one is so hard too! I've bound a good number of authors over the years, many of whom are my dear friends, and to spotlight only a single one would be impossible. So I'm just going to poke @dodici12, whose killugon fic See You Upside Down is one of the best killugon reunion fics ever in my very humble hamster opinion. Hiiiii Tessa ilysm <333

24. Author spotlight: Someone you'd like to bind

OOOOOH. Many, many fics are in my queue. I'll keep them to myself for now, since I prefer to ask for author permission via DM, but atm I have my eye on a few Good Omens authors whose work I adore!

25. Favorite bind by you!

THIS ONE IS SO HARD AJLSKDJF. I love all my babies so much and I'm proud of what I was able to accomplish and what I learned from each of them. However, if you put a gun to my head and asked me to choose right now, I'd have to go with my most recent bind of Maybe sprout wings by @moorishflower. I'm really pleased with both its construction and particularly the curation of its contents, which includes the work of nearly a dozen people. It was my attempt at capturing the communal nature of fanfiction's creation and dispersal, and it was also my Big Project this Binderary. I'm ridiculously fond and proud of it!

26. Favorite bind by someone else!

THIS ONE IS SO HARD TOO HELP. Okay this is only one of my many many favorites, but dragging Space back out here again to say that her bind of Away Childish Things permanently altered my brain chemistry. Like, the cutout!!! The patronuses!!!! The title page cutout???? THE KEY??? Again, I held this book in my hands IN PERSON last year and I'm still not over it. The quality of the work is absolutely bonkers crazy incredible and I think about it Often.

27. First bind

The very first fic I ever bound was On Stranger Tides by @theroyalsavage. It's still one of my favorite fics ever today--it has the perfect blend of action/adventure, romance, humor, and fantasy. It gives me the good ol' "roaming the high seas with found family and magic and pirates" ache. It holds a very special place in my heart!

FINAL THOUGHTS

28. Latest bind

See 22! But for funsises, I'm also ridiculously fond of the binding before that, of @aboxthecolourofheartache's fic The Politeness of Princes, because I got to do lots of fun arts and crafty things with the cover!

This was my first year doing Binderary, and I had such a blast! It's so crazy seeing how far Renegade has come, from a little Discord for book shop chatting (ASH mentioned in one of the talks how it was just called, like, "Bookbinding Discord" at the beginning LOL) to now. We're well on our way to a proper organizational structure, with several yearly events, in-person meetups, and thousands of members all over the world. And we have so much more planned! It feels truly special, and I'm so grateful to everyone who makes this possible.

Okay!! That's all from me for today, folks. If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! <3

[viscountessevie]

Clytemnestra's Bind [ARC Review]

Release Date: 15th June 2023 Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Tragedy Level: 😭😭😭

Before we get into this review, here are some trigger warnings to keep in mind before reading this novel: Brutal Murders of Children (especially in the first few chapters), Violence and Rape.

My Review: 

Clytemnestra’s Bind by Susan C. Wilson is a Greek Tragedy in every sense of the phrase. The novel centres on Queen Clytemnestra of Mycenae. In the Greek myths, she is Helen of Troy’s twin sister and is known for killing her husband Agamemnon upon his return from the Trojan War.  This was after he had sacrificed their eldest daughter, Iphigenia to the Gods. The novel details her life long before Iphigenia’s death. 

The book is split into three parts. Part 1 starts with the invasion of her kingdom and having her first husband and child brutally taken from her. Part 2 covers her subsequent marriage to Agamemnon, her relationship with her three eldest children; Iphigenia, Electra, Orestes. Part 3 covers the crux of Clytemnestra’s notoriety in the Greek myths as she plots Agamemnon’s demise after Iphigenia is sacrificed. 

Susan paints a beautifully tragic portrait of Clytemnestra and her life. I kept thinking how much can one woman take before she completely snaps. Susan fully understands the genre she is working with and completely delivers. I could feel our heroine’s pain at every single turn. I had to put the book down several times to sit with it and let the devastation wash over me. Yet I appreciate how the author had done it. It was unflinching and tragic without being too gratuitous. The novel provides an excellent example of female rage that showcases how Clytemnestra gets to the point of murdering Agamemnon. 

I also adored how well developed Clytemnestra is and the insights we get from her point of view. So much of her life happens to her rather than her being the driving force of it. It is admirable to see how she still pushes through and tries her best to do right by her children after having lost her first family. Her relationships with everyone from her husband to his brothers, Menelaus and Aegisthus, her sister Helen to her children are all so unique and well written. The way she interacts with everyone is just so interesting to read and was a brilliant exploration into her character. 

On its own, the novel is a tragic tale of a Queen who had gone through the most unimaginable horrors one can go through, losing most of the people she had loved and having her agency taken away from her. That is what makes her taking control of her life towards the end so satisfying. 

As a reiteration of an old myth, Susan C. Wilson does an excellent job of building upon the lore. The hints and foreshadowing strategically placed all throughout the story as we know what is to come was exhilarating to read with a sense of dread knowing the tragedy looming amongst the characters. 

All in all, I would recommend this book for anyone looking to read a well written tragedy that covers grief in a meaningful manner and illustrates the female rage in all its glory. For Greek mythology lovers, especially those who appreciate a good Greek Tragedy, this one was definitely made for us. Picking up on the foreshadowing felt like a fun session of ‘Connect the Dots’. That being said, once again I warn everyone to tread carefully as the book has depictions of rape, violence and brutal murders. Read safely and enjoy this book everyone! 

Thank you to Neem Tree Press and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[gaymortagokat]

Character Analysis: Reyna

Part 2A: Analysis Based on Other’s Chapters

Intro:

Just as a reminder/disclaimer while reading, the page numbers seen below may not line up with a physical copy of the books since I got them based on my digital copies. It may feel a bit essay-like, so sorry in advance for that it helps me be more precise with my words. And for obvious reasons everything below this paragraph contains spoilers to Heroes of Olympus books. If you haven’t read part 1 you can here .

The goal of this section is to go into more detail of what specific characters have noticed about Reyna and what it says about her character as well as go into a bit of their relationship. It will stay in timeline order as much as possible unless there are quotes that support the same idea. Anything mentioned in the above sections will not be gone over again in this section unless it relates to a character’s observations of Reyna in a way that wasn’t already stated.

Jason

Jason is easily one of the most important people in Reyna’s life. This section will explore their connection from Jason’s perspective because it is the only detailed perspective of it that is available in the books. This section will also reveal information that Jason knows about Reyna, though it may be incomplete.

First what will be explored is the never would have happened romance between them. This almost couple is something that from Jason’s perspective wouldn't have happened. In The Lost Hero as his memory slowly returns all Jason remembers is Reyna’s name and that she might have felt the same way about her that he feels about Piper (page 409). By the time The Mark of Athena Jason remembers more. He remembers a trip to Charleston where Reyna spoke to what he thought was a ghost and was shaken up about it after, wouldn’t tell him what happened,and as he says “Reyna never acted the same around me after that,” -Reyna would later have her one perspective on this conversation which will be explored later (The Mark of Athena page 168). In this quote Jason might not know/remember how Reyna felt about him but he did notice how she started treating him differently. 

Earlier in the book, he does remember how he feels about Reyna saying “It’s just…I never felt that way toward Reyna,” on page 122 of The Mark of Athena. Which leads to the next section. His guilt.

In The House of Hades we learn that Jason feels quite guilty for what he had done to Reyna. In short, he feels guilty for two things: 1) letting “her believe they had a future together” instead of shutting her down and 2) he disappeared leaving her to run camp alone and when he returned and abruptly left he left her to deal with a war (page 182). His guilt about point 2 is further explored on page 313 where he says “She needed his help. If he turned his back on her…someone like Octavian could take over and ruin everything Jason did love about New Rome. Could he be so selfish as to leave?” (The House of Hades). His guilt doesn’t show that their friendship could end, in fact, at the very least it shows how much he cares about her. 

Even after Jason’s actions, his perspective shows that they still trust and believe in each other. Shortly after fleeing New Rome in The Mark of Athena, Jason suggests contacting Reyna knowing that she would believe what they have to say (page 111). In The House of Hades during Jason’s dream where he sees Reyna in New York Reyna says “If they are sailing for Greece, I know a place Jason will stop,” showing how she knows Jason (187). This idea of trust continues on page 200 where Jason, having gone exactly where Reyna said he would, states how much he trusts that Reyna will find the note he is leaving for her (The House of Hades). As for how much belief in Reyna Jason has, he says “I’d never bet against Reyna. If anyone can make it, she will,” (The House of Hades 191). Based off this line, despite everything in the last 8 months Jason knows he can still count on Reyna to be there for him and by extension the mission. 

Jason’s point of view for the most part demonstrates his relationship with Reyna, but in The House of Hades at least two important details about Reyna are revealed. 1) “Nobody ever used Reyna’s full name” and 2) “she hated telling anyone what it was” (page 184). The reason behind wanting to use her full name is that Reyna see’s it as the name of her childhood self and she abandoned the name when she left San Juan, Puerto Rico where she grew up (The House of Hades page 184). There are many possible reasons for doing this. First thing to understand is: in the Percy Jackson Universe/ the Riordanverse, names are said to contain power. This is generally in reference to the gods and titans as stated by Mr. D. in The Lightning Thief. In real life, a person’s name is their identity. 

Abandoning a name does a couple things for a person. Choosing what to be called (ie what name a person wants people to use) means that person is taking control of their identity. Abandoning a name also creates a separation between then and now. Both of these things can exist at the same time and separately from one another. At the time of The House of Hades we have nothing that suggests why Reyna might have abandoned her childhood name, and we won’t have that information until The Blood of Olympus. This set of facts will be revisited again later through Reyna’s perspective and Nico’s.

[esotericfaery]

Winter Reading Picks, 2023: Top 11 Novels (Middle-Grade, Teen & Adult)

It's colder and will only get even more cold in the Northern Hemisphere. So here are my top reads for this year. Get your tea, coffee, cat, dog, and the comfiest spot on the couch. In no particular order, here are my top shelf novels of the year.

TLDR: ★★★★★ "Cleo McCarthy Time Travel and Other Impossible Things", by Michael Poeltl ★★★★★ "Journey to Jumbalot", by Ryan Wakefield ★★★★★ Seven Sisters of Avalon, "Book 7: Jasmine of Avalon" & the finale, "Book 8: Violet of Avalon", by Katrina Rasbold. ★★★★★ "Emma’s Dragon, Book 2: London and Pemberley", by M. Verant ★★★★★ "The Between State", by Joseph A White Jr ★★★★★ "Wilde Grove: Golden Heart", by Katherine Genet ★★★★★ "The Other AJ Hartford", by Addison Michael ★★★★★ "The Byways: A Novel", by Mary Pascual ★★★★★ "A Gift of Leaf", by H.A. May

Best four-star reads of the year; for when you run out of other novels:

★★★★ "Follow the Shadows: The Tales of Moerden Book 1", by Rosemary Drisdelle ★★★★ "The Possibilities", by Yael Goldstein-Love

~~~

★★★★★ "Cleo McCarthy Time Travel and Other Impossible Things", by Michael Poeltl

"Poeltl's ability to weave romance, mystery, and pure science fiction-based subplots into one riveting adventure is what makes Cleo McCarthy: Time Travel And Other Impossible Things a one-of-a-kind reading experience." - Readers' Favorite 5-star review The first time Cleo feared for her life was when she was diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s at 23. The second time is when she discovered she could travel back in time at 24. While she is offered guidance from fellow time traveler Franklin, she is plagued by a fragmented message transmitted through white noise. Cleo’s best friend Bobby, a physicist, is recruited to help her and Franklin make sense of what’s happening, but despite their successes, Cleo’s constant jumping backward in time delays their progress. Once the message is received in its entirety – and more than one harsh realization is discovered - the three friends race against time to right the wrongs disclosed in the cryptic message. But one of these friends is not like the others, offering an additional obstacle to an already impossible situation. Burdened with an unlimited number of do-overs, Cleo McCarthy finds herself asking, how much time is enough?

Unlike some of the time travel novels coming out in recent years, this one goes a bit differently than expected, and that's a good thing.

The writing style lacks all pretentiousness, by drawing you immediately into the story. You keep guessing, and your attention is held. The characters have their own distinct personalities and motivations. Isn't it amazing how many novels in the past few years can't accomplish these simple things? If a time-travel junkie like me, or even if only slightly interested in the subject, definitely add this one to your reading list.

Another thing that's uncommon, is doing romance right in novels; avoiding that tired old instalove trope. And this novel nails it.

There's one part near the end that's just... Multi-dimensionaly beautiful. I won't spoil you any more than that.

Buy it at Kobo Buy it at Amazon

~~~

(I'm including some books in here which are from previous years, yet which were only put on Netgalley for Advance Reader Copy [aka: ARC] reviews this year.)

★★★★★ "Journey to Jumbalot", by Ryan Wakefield

A glowing doorway. A lost friend. Will one loyal pet turn out to be the hero of the hour? Alby the housecat has no desire for adventure. Rescued by the kindly Professor Wizoom, he’s grateful to be safe and lazy. But when his master vanishes through a magical door, the scaredy cat summons what little courage he has and races in after him. Stuck in a strange land of mixed-together animals, Alby teams up with an irritating froguar to locate his missing owner. But when he’s mistaken for a spy, the lonely cat finds himself caught in a war between wolvaraptor pirates and noble tigeroon knights! Can the timid feline conquer his worries in time to save the day? Journey to Jumbalot is an award-winning, action-packed middle grade fantasy novel. If you like talking animals, daring deeds, and enchanted worlds, then you’ll love Ryan Wakefield’s illustrated quest. Buy Journey to Jumbalot to learn to be brave today! Amazon, ★★★★★ GoodReads, ★★★★★ Kids’ BookBuzz, ★★★★★ Readers’ Favorite, ★★★★★ 2022 Readers' Favorite International Book Award: Gold Medal for Children's Preteen Fantasy 2021 Royal Palm Literary Award Competition: Gold Award for Published Fantasy Mom's Choice Awards: Gold Recipient for Excellence in Family-friendly Media, Products, and Services Global Book Awards: Silver Medal for Children's Action and Adventure Category

I enjoyed this charming middle-grade / all ages fantasy adventure which is filled with strange and interesting creatures, and has just enough whimsy. The weird characters in this new world were inventive mixes of real animals. The technology is cool too.

This book is good enough that if there's a sequel, I'll read it even if I don't get an ARC.

~~~

Seven Sisters of Avalon has been a favoured series of mine since it begun. Though it's always best to start with book one of a series, as nuance will be lost, I feel these can also be enjoyed as stand-alone novels.

This series, while not gratuitous, is for adults only.

★★★★★ Jasmine of Avalon & the finale, Violet of Avalon, by Katrina Rasbold.

The seventh book in the Seven Sisters of Avalon series follows Jasmine, the priestess who sees no distinction between magic - the world into which she was born - and her lifelong passion of science and anatomy. Sent to Dumnonia to marry the warrior king, Bledric, Jasmine’s journey takes one startling turn after another as she navigates the complicated relationships within her new family, both married and chosen. As with all the books in this series, Jasmine’s story includes elements of one of our favorite classic tales woven into the fabric of post-Arthurian historical lore, leading us solidly into book eight’s dynamic conclusion of this incredible saga. In this, the cataclysmic finale of the Seven Sisters of Avalon series, we follow the compelling story of a woman confined to a tower prison at the mercy of a king who might be serial murderer. To establish her value and attempt to delay her impending death, our heroine enchants the king with compelling and seemingly fantastical tales that he finds just might be true. With elements of the classic tales of Rapunzel, Bluebeard, & Scheherazade, Violet of Avalon takes us on a fast-paced journey that ultimately leads us back to Avalon and to the startling conclusion of this incredible series. As a bonus for fans of the Seven Sisters of Avalon series, this book contains additional information about the previous stories you read and loved to add a new layer of insight about the first seven books. This book contains spoiler information about vital plotlines of the first seven books. Although the other books in the series work well as stand-alone stories, the author and publisher recommend reading Violet of Avalon after completing the first seven books. Seven Sisters of Avalon book series (in reading order): The Daughters of Avalon Rose of Avalon Aster of Avalon Iris of Avalon Lily of Avalon Dahlia of Avalon Jasmine of Avalon Violet of Avalon This series follows the stories of the royal family of Avalon, starting with The Daughters of Avalon and continuing with each of the seven priestesses and their individual stories as, under the instruction of the Druid and Elder Priestesses of Avalon, they go into the Britain Beyond Avalon to negotiate with the leaders of seven different kingdoms to ensure the safety of Goddess worshipping people in Britain. Each book draws on post-Arthurian fictional canon as well as classic fairy tales and popular fiction, including elements of Snow White, Robin Hood, Rumpelstiltskin, Mulan, Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, The Pied Piper, Frankenstein, Bluebeard, Rapunzel, and Beauty and the Beast. The Daughters of Avalon sets up the series, introducing Lilian, the Lady of the Lake, and Brannon, the Merlin Reborn. Their epic love story sets the stage for the adventures of their seven daughters, presented over the course of the next seven books.

It's difficult to put into words how enthralling this series was. I was hooked from book one, and deeply invested. I've read many series' incorporating Avalon, yet this is my favourite. Yes, it's better than Marion Zimmer Bradleys Avalon series, (and not just because of the controversy surrounding her.) This series kept me guessing, and like a heroin addict, wishing that other pagan novels I tried to read or re-read, could be as great. Here's an author to keep an eye out for.

~~~

★★★★★ Emma’s Dragon, Book 2: London and Pemberley, by M. Verant

This book is great as a stand-alone, or after having read the first.

Emma Woodhouse needs a dragon. Her life depends on it. But Emma’s dragon is claimed… by Elizabeth Darcy. When Emma Woodhouse meets newly wed Elizabeth, a brush of their gloved hands unmasks the Darcys’ fantastic secret. Emma has discovered Yuánchi, the deadly dragon coveted by both Emperor Napoleon and England’s Secretary of War. Luckily, secrets are nothing new for Emma. She has her own: a deathbed promise, and a clever plan to achieve it. The Darcys’ power, forbidden to her, might even help. But clever plans can go astray. As treason stalks a royal ball, an avenging queen rises to ravage England. Survival rests on a fabled alliance: Emma and her secrets, Elizabeth and her dragon, and the magical music of Mary Bennet and Georgiana Darcy. Will Emma, Elizabeth, and Mary unravel the mystery of the great wyves in time to save England and themselves? Emma’s Dragon is the second book in the award-winning Jane Austen Fantasy series. This boldly original story is filled with magical dragons, strong heroines, and a brilliantly reimagined Regency that challenges barriers of class, race, and love. Don’t miss this thrilling, romantic fantasy!

As with book 1, these retellings of "Pride and Prejudice", and "Emma" with dragons are actually improvements on the classics. It's better than the other regency or victorian romances which incorporate dragons or other fantasy elements. A few surprisingly nice moments were Elizabeth and Darcy handfasting; loving the pagan vibe, plus the hint of romance developing between two who you wouldn't expect. Filled with thrills, mystery, whimsy and, of course, romance, it makes me highly anticipate the next in the series.

~~~

★★★★★ The Between State, by Joseph A White Jr

When Jeff, a computer software professional, repeatedly awakes inside realistic dreams in which he's inside the mind of a young woman, he struggles to find a rational explanation. The woman, he discovers, is real, and he becomes an unwilling time traveler periodically thrust two years into his past, where he experiences her life through her senses. An expert logician, he battles with the limitations of logic in his efforts to uncover the explanation for why he has become immersed in this new, supranatural world. Does he have a role to play in helping this woman escape her troubled past and move towards a future of serenity and hope?

I couldn't put this book down. It ends with one question still unanswered, yet ends satisfyingly. Maybe there will be a sequel, but even if there isn't, I would consider buying other subsequent books by this author.

~~~

★★★★★ Wilde Grove: Golden Heart, by Katherine Genet

A new wind is blowing. Selena makes the decision to take Rue to Wilde Grove, to get to the heart of her dreaming, for it is certain that Rue has lived before as a priestess of Wilde Grove. But what is the lesson Rue needs to learn? With Morghan giving Rue a crash course in walking between the worlds, the story behind Rue's dreaming cannot remain a mystery for long. She will walk the same paths she did long ago, in another skin, and find out exactly what Bryn, one of the first priestesses of the Forest Grove wants from her. Back in New Zealand, a loss is suffered, and a shock, one that brings Selena straight back home, for someone is screaming out to Clover from the spirit world for help that the child is too young and frightened to give.

Here's another Pagan novel series to really get into, which can be enjoyed as a standalone novel, yet is better when reading the series in order. Here's where it begins, and here's where it continues, leading to Golden Heart.

This series starts during the first year of covid (I know, I know, annoying, yet bear with me), and is a modern tale of an English village, and the relationships between the Christians and the Pagans. The characters are realisticly multi-faceted, and the stories of spirituality, mystery, healing and love are enthralling. There is none of that nonsense in many books where all of one side, or all of the other, are unrealistically painted as evil.

Then there's a prequel series, where we can see characters who were only mentioned, some of the original characters at younger ages, and new young people are added to the mix. There are several mature themes related to various forms abuse, and though not gratuitous, I recommend this series for teens and above.

~~~

★★★★★ The Other AJ Hartford, by Addison Michael

A phantom on a train. A mysterious kidnapping long ago. Can she connect the dots before all her futures disappear forever? AJ Hartford is content. With both a teaching job and a teenage daughter she adores, the thirty-something divorcée has settled away from high drama and into wonderfully normal happiness. But her ordinary days turn upside down when she’s chased by a sinister stranger… and runs into a ghostly version of herself. Learning her doppelgänger is from another universe where she was murdered in the future, the sentimental mother panics when she discovers it triggered a lethal domino effect. And if she can’t save her uncanny visitor from being killed in yet another dimension, all the AJs who ever were and their families will be permanently erased from existence. With the lives of herself and her beloved child on the line, can she escape into a second reality and rescue the past? The Other AJ Hartford is an action-packed multidimensional science fiction thriller. If you like good-hearted heroines, ghostly phenomena, and nail-biting high stakes, then you’ll love Addison Michael’s mind-blowing adventure.

An entertaining time travel novel that held my attention. I liked how the romance actually adds to the story. Many novels these days, including both those for teens and those for adults, are falsely advertised as being thrillers or sci-fi, when really they are only romance novels with a bit more (too little) of real subtance added in.

~~~

★★★★★ The Byways: A Novel, by Mary Pascual

Neurodivergent high school student CeeCee Harper has a temper and a reputation for trouble. Angry at the rumors and afraid she’ll never fit in, she makes a wrong move—and lands in the byways, a world of alleys, magic, and forgotten people . . . some that aren’t even human. And if she doesn’t escape quickly, CeeCee learns, she’ll be trapped for good. Searching for a way out, she gets lost among monsters, drug pushers, the homeless, and political upheaval, and soon finds there are those who will stop at nothing to keep her from leaving. But the byways pull people in for a reason. CeeCee must figure out why she got stuck in the first place—before her loved ones are put in danger and she loses them forever. A dark retelling of Alice in Wonderland meets Neverwhere , this contemporary fantasy will enchant Neil Gaiman and Christina Henry fans.

A solid fantasy adventure with a bit of thriller and a bit of whimsy. If there's a sequel, I'll read it.

~~~

★★★★★ A Gift of Leaf (Chronicles of Leaf #1), by H.A. May

Jinny Morai, is a foundling, wrenched from her foster parents as a young child to slave in the darkness of the Library caves of the Holtanbore, the black labyrinth under the Royal Great Tree. Every night she has a strange mental visitor who begs incessantly. One day Jinny discovers two stones, catalysts which change her life completely. One, a broken amulet hidden in a nest of leaves is much too pretty to throw away, the other, a mailed egg, is much too strange. Incredibly, a baby dragon is hatched from the strange egg. Because of this, Jinny sees daylight for the first time accompanied by Quaryk, a young Mage, who takes her up to the Bole to meet the Triad of Mages there. While her dragon, Sprout, is growing up, they live with Quaryk’s family. A year later, summoned by the Three, she returns to the bole and is raised to Magehood. There she is visited by the Woodspirit who identifies her as the one who may find the missing half of the amulet. But Jinny is anxious - as just a foundling and ex-slave, how can she find the lost half of the stone?And how can she rid Leaf of threat of the Necromancer, Dark Mage, and monster who wiped out the race of dragons long ago? Finally meeting her long-lost foster family, she finds the courage to make a decision. But is she up to the task of finding the only hope, the missing half of the stone, which will restore the Talisman, the most powerful amulet known on Leaf? And, more importantly, who is Jinny Morai, exactly?

I really enjoyed this whimsical middle-grade / teen novel. The relationship between Jinny and Sprout is really cute, and I'm curious to see what happens next in this adventure story.

~~~

Best four-star reads of the year; for when you run out of other novels:

~~~

★★★★ Follow the Shadows: The Tales of Moerden Book 1, by Rosemary Drisdelle

When Marise Leeson gets her hands on a crystal ball, she believes her knowledge of Wicca is about to expand. The magic, however, goes horribly wrong. In short order, she’s thrown into an alternate world, attacked by a dragon, and rescued by Javeer, a young male dragon in search of a friend. Marise is desperate to get home alive. Instead of dabbling in scrying and spells, she must now use her Wicca skills to survive in Moerden―navigating rival dragon factions, riding Javeer without falling, and dodging unknown perils of an alien landscape. Through a series of adventures and mishaps, she learns that the dragons face slow extinction from a mysterious disease. Some see Marise as part of the cause. Some hope she’s a key to a cure. Marise grows up fast as her focus switches from escape from Moerden to saving the dragons. She draws upon her powers, intuition, and some help from home as she and Javeer begin a quest to solve the puzzle of the stagger. If they survive, and if their trust and courage are strong, they may succeed. If they do not, the dragons of Moerden will cease to exist.

At first, the protagonist bothered me as some of her behaviour, as a teen, seemed immature. Yet there is character growth.

The dragons seem to have more distinct characterization than Marise, yet that didn't bother me much.

One of the things I really enjoyed were the funny, endearing parts between Marise and Javeer, including after they find out...well, you'll see ;). What she does for him is great. I also enjoyed how this is a story about a human helping sick dragons, and that the way the dragons and humans communicate is unusual.

Overall, this fantasy adventure novel held my attention, so whether or not I'm able to get an ARC, I'll read the sequel.

~~~

★★★★ The Possibilities, by Yael Goldstein-Love

A new mother ventures into parallel worlds to find her missing child in this mind-bending novel that turns the joys and anxieties of parenthood into an epic quest. "A bravura, unforgettable performance."--Namwali Serpell, author of The Furrows What if the life you didn't live was as real as the one you did? Hannah is having a bad day. A bad month. A bad year? That feels terrible to admit, since her son Jack was born just eight months ago and she loves him more than anything. But ever since his harrowing birth, she can't shake the feeling that it could have gone the other way. That her baby might not have made it. Terrifying visions of the different paths her life could have taken begin to disrupt her cozy, claustrophobic days with Jack, destabilizing her marriage and making her husband concerned for her mental health. Are the strange things Hannah is seeing just new-mom anxiety, or is something truly weird and sinister afoot? What if Hannah really did unlock a dark force during childbirth? When Hannah's worst nightmare comes true and Jack disappears from his crib, she must tap into an extraordinary ability she never knew she had in order to save him: She must enter different versions of her life while holding on to what is most important to her in this one to bring her child back home. From the intimate joys of parenthood to the cosmic awe of the multiverse, The Possibilities is an ingenious and wildly suspenseful novel that stares down into the dizzying depths of maternal love, vulnerability, and strength. I couldn't put this multiple universes novel down; it kept my attention throughout.

The only thing I would have wanted different, was how it was all resolved so quickly, with little to no explanation, and with...Well, I won't spoil you.

[bloomfield-book-ratings]

I have 6 months to declutter my 44 TBR books as part of the KonMari tidy up. I can’t bring myself to just get rid of unread books, so I prioritized some and then marked others that I wouldn’t be all that upset if I didn’t get them read by the time the 6 months was up.

Poison for Breakfast

Cloud Cuckoo Land

The Rest of Us Just Live Here

The Gray Man

Sierra Six- a gray man novel

Scyth

Thunderhead

The Toll

Project Hail Mary

Mysterious Benedict Society 1

Mysterious Benedict Society 2

Any Sign of Life

To Sleep in a Sea of Stars

Madhouse at the End of the Earth

The Lost Apothecary

The Madness of Crowds ✔️

The Ten Thousand Doors of January

The Apollo Murders

Congo

The Little Paris Bookshop

Unbirthday

Straight On Till Morning

Descendants 1

Descendants 2

Descendants 3

Descendants 4

The Force Awakens

The Disappearing Spoon

Venomous Lumpsucker

Where the Crawdads Sing

Gallant

The 5th Wave

Devil In White City

Alien Covenant ✔️

Ready Player 1

Go Set a Watchman

Mortal Engines 🔳DNF

The Compound ✔️

Radio Girls

The Art Thief

Star Wars High Republic Path of Deceit advanced copy

The Kill Order

Flower Crowns and Fearsome Things

Neverwhere

[personal-blog243]

COPIED/PASTED FROM A FRIEND

Good morning. Since Trump just called for THE DESTRUCTION OF THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION and THE INSTALLATION OF HIM AS A DICTATOR, I thought it would be good to review what he did during the time he squatted in the White House.

I really don’t owe my Trump-supporting friends an apology and to be fair, Trump wasn’t that bad…………..other than when he:

1. incited an insurrection against the government,

2. mismanaged a pandemic that killed a million Americans,

3. separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy,

4. tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church,

5. tried to block all Muslims from entering the country,

6. got impeached,

7. got impeached again,

8. had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history,

9. pressured Ukraine to dig dirt on Joe Biden,

10. fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia,

11. bragged about firing the FBI director on TV,

12. took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community,

13. diverted military funding to build his wall,

14. caused the longest government shutdown in US history,

15. called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,”

16. lied nearly 30,000 times,

17. banned transgender people from serving in the military,

18. ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions,

19. vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers,

20. refused to release his tax returns,

21. increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion,

22. had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history,

23. called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers,

24. coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist,

25. refused to concede the 2020 election,

26. hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House,

27. walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl,

28. called neo-Nazis “very fine people,”

29. suggested that people should inject bleach into their bodies to fight COVID,

30. abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey,

31. pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans,

32. incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic,

33. withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords,

34. withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal,

35. withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances,

36. insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter,

37. pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op,

38. failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies,

39. called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries,

40. called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,”

41. claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere,

42. forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader,

43. believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize,

44. berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe,

45. suggested the US should buy Greenland,

46. colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges,

47. repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,”

48. claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases,

49. violated the emoluments clause,

50. thought that Nambia was a country,

51. told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public,

52. called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution,

53. nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet,

54. nominated a corrupt head of the EPA,

55. nominated a corrupt head of HHS,

56. nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department,

57. nominated a corrupt head of the USDA,

58. praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies,

59. refused to allow the presidential transition to begin,

60. insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death,

61. spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president,

62. falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote,

63. called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,”

64. falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year,

65. considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions,

66. mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID,

67. locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones,

68. used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,”

69. hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser,

70. pardoned several of his shady associates,

71. gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressmen who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories,

72. got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!),

73. had a Secretary of State who called him a moron,

74. forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history,

75. botched the COVID vaccine rollout,

76. tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him,

77. charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties,

78. constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate,

79. claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear,

80. called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,”

81. used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise,

82. opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling,

83. got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers,

84. claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US,

85. ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings,

86. blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining,

87. redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle,

88. got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,”

89. threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution,

90. botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico,

91. threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them,

92. pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes,

93. thought that the Virgin islands had a President,

94. drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane,

95. allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing,

96. rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos,

97. pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID,

98. rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers,

99. held blatant campaign rallies at the White House,

100. tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man,

101. refused to attend his successors’ inauguration,

102. nominated the worst Education Secretary in history,

103. threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted,

104. attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci,

105. promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t),

106. allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues,

107. struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble,

108. called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,”

109. threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders,

110. went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic,

111. claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,”

112. seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution,

113. demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director,

114. praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles,

115. completely gutted the Voice of America,

116. placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service,

117. claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower,

118. suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country,

119. suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public,

120. overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported,

121. reduced the number of refugees the US accepts,

122. insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames,

123. gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address,

124. named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties,

125. eliminated the White House office of pandemic response,

126. used soldiers as campaign props,

127. fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him,

128. demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade,

129. hired a shit ton of white nationalists,

130. politicized the civil service,

131. did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government,

132. falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts,

133. claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won,

134. insulted reporters of color,

135. insulted women reporters,

136. insulted women reporters of color,

137. suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs,

138. attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him,

139. summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election,

140. spent countless hours every day watching Fox News,

141. refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas,

142. hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer,

143. tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him,

144. acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney,

145. attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a prominent lady who accused him of sexual assault,

146. held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present,

147. didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media,

148. stopped holding press briefings for months at a time,

149. “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power,

150. led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform,

151. claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers,

152. tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course,

153. suggested that the government nuke hurricanes,

154. suggested that wind turbines cause cancer,

155. said that he had a special aptitude for science,

156. fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure,

157. blurted out classified information to Russian officials,

158. tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida,

159. fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban,

160. hired notorious racist Stephen Miller,

161. openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them,

162. interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel,

163. abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war,

164. tried to get Russia back into the G7,

165. held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden,

166. seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive,

167. lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated,

168. falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t,

169. shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies,

170. still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan,

171. still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,”

172. forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID,

173. told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,”

174. fucked up the Census,

175. withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic,

176. did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,”

177. allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act,

178. seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican,

179. stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win,

180. constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump,

181. claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened,

182. said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake,

183. claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him,

184. claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President,

185. created a commission to whitewash American history,

186. retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain,

187. claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there,

188. hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims,

189. had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others,

190. bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties,

191. apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House,

192. stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians,

193. falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police,

194. said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about,

195. tried to rescind protection from DREAMers,

196. gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic,

197. tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax,

198. said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states,

199. deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented,

200. claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln,

201. touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all,

202. retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile,

203. forced through security clearances for his family,

204. suggested that police officers should rough up suspects,

205. suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs,

206. tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender,

207. suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher,

208. nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy,

209. retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden

210. had played a song called “Fuck tha Police” at a campaign event,

211. hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags,

212. accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address,

213. claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia,

214. mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault,

215. obsessed over low-flow toilets,

216. ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release,

217. called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek),

218. hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech,

219. took advice from the MyPillow guy,

220. claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists,

221. said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure,

222. never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign,

223. falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent,

224. announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest,

225. insulted the leader of Canada,

226. insulted the leader of France,

227. insulted the leader of Britain,

228. insulted the leader of Germany,

229. insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!),

230. falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues,

231. blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually,

232. continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders,

233. said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked,

234. left a NATO summit early in a huff,

235. stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that,

236. called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary,

237. refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and kept his promise.

238. Don’t forget that he took many classified & top secret documents with him when he left the White House, many of which have not been recovered & may have been compromised.

I’m sure there are a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment. I'm sure none of the above comes close to whatever is on Hunter Biden's laptop.

But other than that. . . 🤷🏻‍♀️

Plz copy and paste. Whoever wrote this deserves credit but I don't know who it is.

[zoeykallus]

Fives - Soldier Boy 1 - Not Just Another Clone

Fives x fem!Reader FF

Warnings: Orphan Backstory/ Aside From That None (Yet)

Fluff Mostly

_____________

Author's Comment:

I already have so many WIPS that I work on practically every day, every free minute, and yet it has been too much of a tease for me. Fives, I had to write about Fives.

_____________

Summary:

As the niece of a senator who has currently attracted rather negative interest and regularly receives threats, you will need protection as long as you are on Coruscant. After Padme followed up on the senator's request and approached General Skywalker, he sent one of the best, ARC 5555 also known as Fives.

__________________

Following Chapters:

Part 2 - Caught In The Act

Part 3 - Tender Affection

Part 4 - Worries And Secrets

Part 5 - Welcome Back, Soldier Boy

Part 6 - I Should Have Known

Part 7 - Doing Something Stupid

Part 8 - Hot Tub

Part 9 - Seize The Night

Part 10 - We Need A Medic

Part 11 - Live To Fight Another Day

Part 12 - What Lies Ahead

Part 13 - An Unexpected Friend

Part 14 - Important News

Part 15 - The Beginning Of An Empire

Part 16 - Yoda

Part 17 - Unforgiven

Part 18 - The Depth Of Fear

Part 19 - Hope, Sorrow And Anger

Part 20 – A Stranger In My Skin

Part 21 – Heavy Hearts

Part 1 - Not Just Another Clone

You weren't too thrilled when your uncle informed you that you were to be assigned a bodyguard. A clone soldier, one of the ARC's. Since your uncle had caused trouble in the senate, because he had a controversial point of view concerning the war against the Sepperatists, threats were regularly arriving and as long as you were on Coruscant, he didn't want you to wander around alone.

General Skywalker's 501st unit had provided one of their men after Senator Amidala asked him to. You liked Padme, a lot, but you didn't like her to interfere. You didn't want to be followed every step of the way by one of the bucket heads. They were all so stubborn, disciplined and pig-headed, at least the ones you had met.

Padme assured you that Fives, the name of the clone assigned to you, was different, dutiful, but certainly not a bore. You wouldn't believe that until you saw it live.

You waited in your chamber in the Senate building, where your uncle had left you before going to a meeting with some other senators. You had been assured that your escort was already on his way, but he was now already fifteen standard minutes late. When there was finally a knock at the door, you opened it with a critical eye. You saw yourself face to face with one of the tall clones, standing there broad-shouldered. He took off his helmet and straightened up.

"Miss, I must apologize for being late. This section of the Senate building is still fairly new and I've been in the field for the last few months, I.... got a little... lost."

You looked at him incredulously then rolled your eyes and waved it off.

"That's alright. No one has to know."

Arc Trooper Fives seemed to visibly relax, he was afraid that his superiors or brothers would find out, he would have been the laughing stock of the 501st for quite a while.

You waved him in and he stepped into the room with his helmet under his arm. You eyed him more or less inconspicuously for a moment. He had a short goatee chin beard, a five tattoo on his right temple, his hair was dark and relatively short, though not quite as cropped as many of his other brothers wore.

All in all, he looked like a clone, but somehow a little different. In general, you had noticed in the past that even though they were all copies of one and the same man, they all had their own individual characteristics, including eating habits, hairstyle, hair color, beard, or whether they had one at all. In fact, most of them had no facial hair, Fives fell a bit off the grid there.

"Your name is Fives?"

Fives nodded.

"Clon Trooper Fives ARC 5555."

Your brows shot up in surprise.

"ARC? Advanced Recon Commandos? Why is a ARC assigned to protect me? That seems... excessive."

Fives said matter-of-factly, "Miss, I have my orders and it seems to me that someone at a high level cares very much about your well-being"

You sighed and said dryly, "You must be thrilled to be babysitting a senator's niece."

He showed a smug little smirk.

"I don't mind that at all. A little break from the war scene can't hurt, aside from that I could have done a lot worse. Some of my brothers have much more unpleasant protégés to look after"

He almost sounded a little flirty. Padme was right, so far this clone wasn't that uninteresting. Aside from the fact that his demeanor definitely had something going for it, he seemed more relaxed than you expected.

"Okay Soldier Boy "you said teasingly "What exactly were you told about your assignment here?"

Fives cocked a brow at you. He didn't seem offended, more amused at the strange pet name. Anyway, he let you have it for the time being.

"That I should follow you wherever you go as soon as you leave your chambers. Otherwise, I am to wait politely outside the door."

He spoke quite openly to you and more casually than most of his brothers you had met did. Perhaps he felt that he could behave a little more humanly with you without causing or getting into trouble.

You sighed and said, "That sounds pretty boring. Well, with me you don't have to wait outside the door. You can stay in here if you want. I have an appointment outside my chambers later, but until then, we could talk a little. I like to know who I'm dealing with."

He looked at you in surprise.

"Usually people aren't very interested in us clones, aside from most thinking we're all actually the same, many don't even see us as thinking, feeling individuals" he said, voicing what surprised him so much.

You shrugged your shoulders and said, "I'm just different. Frankly, I also have my reservations about you clones, but that you are thinking, feeling beings, I have never doubted."

With a simple hand gesture you asked him to join you on the large sofa. He accepted the invitation and carefully placed his helmet next to him.

"We mourn for our fallen brothers. We feel pain, fear... many of us carry more than just physical scars from the battle back to the barracks," he said, pleased that he had found someone on the outside who at least tried to understand who he was, who his brothers were.

"That must be difficult. Created to go to war..." you said thoughtfully.

"A close friend among my brothers once said that war gives us mixed feelings. It is bad and costs many of our brothers their lives and any day it could cost our own, but if it didn't exist we wouldn't exist at all"

"That sounds so...melancholy, but understandable. When I try to imagine being in your place..."

You shook your head, actually you didn't want to talk about such dark things at all, but you didn't want to offend him either.

As if he sensed that the subject was weighing you down, he changed the topic.

"Why does your uncle drag you along to these occasions anyway? You're not a minor anymore, are you? Don't you have a family of your own, a husband, children?"

You smiled, "You're a curious one, soldier boy".

"Fives"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."

He smiled and said "Earlier when you said all those things, it seemed to me that you see more in me than just another clone soldier... that appealed to me. I would appreciate it if you would call me by my name."

"Of course, Fives," you said, feeling a soft little tingle in your belly as he looked at you that way.

"So?"

You blinked but then remembered his question.

"No husband, no children. In fact, my uncle and his wife, are my only living relatives," you explained "I'm the only daughter of his late brother and.... he is very protective. He takes me almost everywhere with him, especially after receiving so many threats due to his political background."

Fives looked at you searchingly.

"I'm sorry, this all sounds very.... tragic," he said carefully.

"My parents died a long time ago, the wounds aren't fresh, if that's what you meant, and I've almost gotten used to the threats," you said with a wry smile.

"Oh I see. Through you the senator keeps part of his memory of his brother alive"

You hadn't thought about that at all, but it sounded coherent.

For several days in a row, you were in the company of Clone Trooper Fives. You got along quite well. At times you enjoyed his presence more than you did anything else.

You had so much fun with this clone, he was a funny guy, protective, a good sport and you even had a little inside joke or two by now. Every once in a while when you wanted to tease him you would call him soldier boy and he would call you Scardy Cat because of a little thing that happened on one of your walks outside. A firecracker sent you into a full-blown panic, and you ducked and hid behind the soldier. Fives was laughing pretty hard, for at least two minutes straight.

On the sixth day, you hadn't even planned to leave your quarters, and yet there he was. You invited him in and you chatted, playing a few card games at which Fives was surprisingly good. He was a good strategist, but also liked to take risks.

When you won the last round, out of curiosity, you asked, "I've heard that clone soldiers aren't supposed to form permanent bonds. Is that true?"

Fives put down the cards he still had in his hand, next to his gloves that were still on the table. His helmet rested on the armrest of the chair he was sitting on. He looked at you scrutinizingly from his golden brown eyes as he replied, "That's right."

"I imagine that would be difficult. That neither of you ever fall in love or make deeper friendships" you spoke thoughtfully.

He left the last sentence uncommented and you asked on impulse, "Haven't you ever been in love?"

His posture changed barely noticeably, but you felt him tense a little.

"Most of the time, I'm out on the battlefield. I don't meet many people, aside from my clone brothers, a few Jedi and other military. Besides, I'm not sure I really understand the concept of love or being in love," he said cautiously.

Your curiosity wasn't satisfied yet.

"But you don't have to be celibate, do you?"

"Celibate?"

"Without sexual intercourse."

"Oh," he said, scratching the back of his head with a wry smile.

"No, we're not celibate. There are facilities, licensed prostitutes, that we can go to in order to.... Blow off steam."

That was interesting and also kind of cruel. The clones were human, to deny someone who felt and could think to fall in love with someone, you thought was unhealthy and not right.

"I hope this isn't too personal a question but, do you seek out these facilities as well?"

Fives gave you a cheeky little smile.

"Sure. Quite often."

For some inexplicable reason, you felt a strange sensation in your chest. Was it jealousy, perhaps? Silently, in your mind, you thought about it. Yes, you liked Fives very much, he was funny, lively, handsome. And you knew that if you put him among a hundred of his brothers, you would always recognize him. Not just by the hairstyle or the beard, but by the way he moved, how peppy he talked, and the cheeky glint in his eye.

Maybe you liked him more than you should.

"You're so quiet all of a sudden. Did my answer startle you?" he asked, scrutinizingly.

"No, sorry. It just crossed my mind that I don't think it's right that you're barred from socializing and having relationships," you said evasively.

He tilted his head slightly to the side and said, "For the past few days, I've been regretting that, too."

His words echoed in your head several times. Did they perhaps mean what you believed, what you secretly wished for?

Your gaze was cautious, almost shy, his searching and trying, as your eyes met.

"Why?" you asked softly.

"As I said, I don't know much about love or being in love. But for the last few days, I've been feeling something that I guess is like being in love," he said, holding your gaze with his.

You felt yourself getting warm and your heart beating faster.

"Can you elaborate on that?" you asked in a gentle tone.

He smiled and said, "From the first moment I saw her, I knew I would like her. But that quickly deepened. My heart beats faster when she opens the door and smiles at me. Her laughter is like music. Her scent is irresistible. I watch her when she moves or when she talks and feel mesmerized. I see her skin and her hair and can't stop wondering how it would feel if I touched her. I see her eyes and get lost in them, but I like being lost in them. She amuses me, she calms me, she twists all my senses. I think about her even when I'm not with her, all the time. I wonder what she does when I'm not with her, wonder if she thinks of me the way I think of her."

Your heart was beating up to your throat as you said softly, almost whispering, "She does, every time you're gone."

@clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi

[potteresque-ire]

Hello. I just turned to be a turtle recently after being a solo fan mostly because of toxic atmosphere of solo fans. May I ask, were relationships between XZ and YB solos always so intense and also bad attitude to BJYX even during the promotion “the untamed”? Or did this conflict start after the events of 2020? Thank you in advance.

Hello, and Happy 2021! I’m a super new fan of the fandom, and so these aren’t questions I’m qualified to answer at all. I’m more comfortable providing some wider sociopolitical contexts to fandom-related events because I’ve been reading about Chinese news for a loooong time. My “investigative interest” (oh dear, that sounds so pretentious) is also more on understanding the CP culture in general, how it ties with the country’s state of affairs rather than focusing specifically on Gg and Dd. While I’ve read back on some history re: gg and dd’s fandoms, Tumblr is the only site where I’ve interacted directly with fellow fans.

But I’ve written up what I’ve understand about solo and CP fans for c-dramas so far, mostly for my own benefit (I have a ridiculously poor memory!). Maybe it can offer some insight? This is very new information to me as well; so, if anyone spots something wrong or wants to supplement, please jump right in!

Wars between the fans of the leads of a CP (“ship” in English; stands for “couple”) aren’t new. Conflicts between solo and CP fans also aren’t new.

Competition is the most obvious cause of wars between the fans of the leads of a CP. Especially in the case of M/M pairings, the person “bound” to each idol by their CP is also, by default, about the most “direct” competitor one can have. They’re likely to be of the same age group, share similar fan demographics. Popularity of young male idols (often called “Little Fresh Meat” 小鮮肉, a nickname I’ve abhorred for the decade or so it’s come to existence) also isn’t expected to last, so the two CP leads must make the most of their newfound fame within the same time frame. The competition is more than fighting for similar roles; in China, another major arena is endorsements, in which an idol’s popularity is by measured by 1) the number they hold and 2) the units they sell. Here in the US, stars choose their endorsements based on how well they fit their image; there, stars take as many as they can as long as the negotiated terms are satisfactory. Hence, dd is the spokesperson of 25 products / services in 2020 (including an insurance company (!!)).

I’ve also read about this norm in the industry, which I have yet to verify: in China, if two stars compete for the endorsement of the same brand product, the one who loses will not get endorsements of same products from different brands — at least, not in the short term — because any brand who uses the star who lost would be seen as inferior. Hence, to lose the competition on one endorsement deal can mean losing the endorsement deals for an entire category of products.

(Someone on Weibo has pointed this out: while Gg and Dd have often endorsed competing brands of the same product: Budweiser (gg) and Yenching beer (dd), for example; they have never fought for the endorsement of same brand product. Again, I haven’t verified this.)

This part is easy to understand.

The next question is: why are solo fans against CP fans? “Girlfriend fans” — solo fans who can’t bear to seeing their idol paired up with anyone other than themselves — only make up a fraction of the fandom. How are CP fans generally perceived? 

My key findings so far: CP fans are *perceived* to be more likely to express negative views about their idol paired up with other actors / actresses, which will affect viewership and ratings, restrict the kind of roles their idol will be invited to play. More importantly, CP fans are *perceived* as fickle — more likely to walk away after their favourite CP drama has ended, because as CP lovers, they’re thought to be equally in love with the romantic gestures as with the stars who perform them on/off stage. ie, When another drama comes along featuring the same romantic gestures, the CP fans are expected to jump ship.

I highlight the word “perceive”, because while it doesn’t matter how solo fans see CP fans, it does matter how the business side of c-ent view CP fans and it appears to share this view. The c-YiZhan fandoms have been unhappy with the publicity of the upcoming adapted BL dramas for this reason — aside from their allegations that it’s copying The Untamed’s BTS, the thing that has offended them the most, perhaps, is the very idea that the marketing departments thought a few “leaked” photos of the leads acting intimately close are enough to woo them away from YiZhan, from Gg and Dd.

Given this, perhaps, prevalent view of CP fans, CP fandoms have been viewed as something disposable, almost, to be made, used and discarded quickly. 

Before and during the airing of the drama, the marketing / publicity teams fuel and encourage CP fandoms, reap the benefits in viewership from the ensuing discussions and hot searches. Solo fans usually aren’t threatened by CP fandoms in this nascent phase—CP fandoms have been far smaller in size and only grow during the broadcast.

More importantly, the norms have been that CP fandoms do not last.

CP fandoms do have a tendency to “self-combust” over time: fans * within * the fandom accusing each other of being partial to one of the leads — spending more money on A’s endorsements, for example, or buying more copies of B’s music. However, this isn’t how many CP fandoms die. Instead, once the show is over, the process of “Breaking the CP” begins. I’m not sure who gets this process going, but my guess is the leads’ management companies, with consent (willing or unwilling) from the actors. Breaking the CP means having the CP leads avoid each other as soon as the drama is done airing, and for as long as it takes for the CP fandoms to dissipate. It means no more appearing in the same drama and shows; no more sharing a stage; and if they happen to be at the same event, they are to communicate as little as possible. This “loosening the bind” between the leads is designed to free the actors up for the next CPs, and its way of execution can be very abrupt, very … cruel for the CP fans. For one of 2020 summer dramas (Love and Redemption 琉璃), for example, a popular character (het) CP pairing was broken up in the last fan meet, 10 days after the final episode had aired. The fan meet was marketed as a CP event (there was even merch for the CP); CPs fans bought the tickets, perfectly aware of the unsaid “CPs are made to be broken” rule and it’d likely be the last time they’d see their CP together. But the organisers denied them even this last chance; the leads of the CP had no interactions, not even eye contact during the entire event. The actor didn’t acknowledge the actress in his farewell speech. The fans understandably got upset; even outsiders sympathised, stating that the CP-breaking could be handled with a little more consideration. Word on the street was that because the male lead already had other dramas lined up, the CP had to be broken up as quickly as possible.

(Weibo Night from almost a year ago was seen as a “Break the CP” event for Gg and Dd. Some turtles still cry at the memory of it.)

There’s a term related to the breaking of CPs: 提純 (“increasing the purity”). It describes the ultimate goal of breaking CPs: increasing the proportion of solo (”pure”) fans by breaking up the CP and having the solo fandoms of each lead absorb the CP fans. Because solo fans are *perceived* to be more loyal (won’t jump ship the next romantic drama comes along), less likely to draw criticisms (especially if the CP is M/M and/or affect the RL lives of their stars), and have more purchasing power (as CP fans have to divide their resources between the two leads and equally).

How does this affect how solo fans see CP fans? Another way to say the above is: one CP fan is one fan the two solo fandoms fail to capture. One more CP fan is one less solo fan. “CP fan” should be a temporary identity. CP fandoms sequester resources from the solo fandoms until they’re broken up.

This sets the stage for conflicts if the CP fandoms refuse to fade, if the CP fans refuse to turn solo.

The conflict between solo and CP fandoms is, of course, even more heated for real-person CP’s, which can, indeed, pose a significant threat to the leads’ life and career. An easy example of the former is if one of the CP leads are in a RL relationship, and/or if the lead is straight but the CP is queer (this is the case for The Guardian (2018), the first popular adapted BL “dangai” drama). Another major issue with real-person CPs (queer or not) is that the media will make frequent comparisons of the leads’ follow-up career. If the CP “bind” remains, the lead perceived as less popular may be viewed as using the more popular one to sustain their popularity. Fans of the more popular lead do not take that well. The management company of the less popular lead takes that even less well, and its PR team will work even harder to eliminate the CP from public discussion.

Overall, the “breaking the CP” strategy works as intended. As long as the CP leads stop interacting, no more new candies are generated for the CP fandoms, and even the best candies have an expiration date. The CP fans move on, often to other CP pairings—the CP breaking process often leave them hurt and disappointed at the leads—and further propagating the perception that they are fickle souls who prefer candies over actors.

With this background, it doesn’t surprise me that the relationship between the fans of Gg, Dd, and Yizhan has been so intense since the airing of the Untamed… it would actually surprise me (much) more if it isn’t.

First and foremost, if I take away my YiZhan-tinted lens (as much as I can anyway!), the competition between Gg and Dd automatically becomes The Battlefield in c-ent. Gg and Dd are among the most popular idols right now, and there’s a strong urgency in this competition as idol popularity is perceived to have a limited shelf life. Now, 18 months after The Untamed, Gg and Dd are not only vying for survival in the same industry—which may encourage cooperation between the two solo fandoms—they’re vying for the throne.

Things are already extra tense that way. Here’s an analogy I can think of—it’s easier to accept losing a lottery by getting every number wrong than getting a single number wrong, and by one count. It’s harder for solo fans to accept being number 2, when number 1 was a co-star, the other half of their idol’s CP.

Now, into this unresolved tension, throw in a huge curveball known as the YiZhan fandoms. A curveball that isn’t even supposed to exist — CP fandoms are all supposed to fizzle out quickly after the show is over. Instead, the BJYX supertopic on Weibo (by far the biggest of the three Yizhan CPs) had 1.5 million members in January 2020. It now has 2.8 million (January 2021).

(For reference, dd’s supertopic has 5.4 million members and gg’s, 7.7 million.)

These YiZhan fandoms aren’t merely living on their last breath, their stale candies. They’re thriving. Self-combustion hasn’t happened. CP fans of Gg and Dd keep finding fresh candies, keep having new things to rejoice and scream about.

If I put myself in the shoes of a solo fan, what does this continued growth of the YiZhan fandoms mean? It means the “binding” between My Idol and That-Other-Idol-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, each a contender of the c-ent throne, is strengthening instead of loosening. It means more and more fans of My Idol are exhibiting signs of wavering loyalty, by becoming fans of both My Idol and That-Other-Idol. Fan culture in China is highly organized, requiring strategy, cooperation and obedience when it comes to generating the best numbers for their idol (sells, ratings, viewership etc). Having to rely on the fickle CP fans to generate these numbers means uncertainty and anxiety.

People behave differently when they’re nervous. Some chew on their fingernails. Some attack.

2020, of course, make the solo fandoms even more nervous about each other. Gg, post-227, isn’t a safe person to be “bound to”, and also to have one’s career compared against—given the bad publicity that has circulated around him, given the fact that he has managed to stay on top in spite of it. Dd, meanwhile, has grown in popularity while Gg goes into hiding—while I personally do not, for a moment, believe Dd has anything to do with 227, it is within human nature to ask: if one loses—and in a manner so publicised, so catastrophic that even the Western media reported on it—who has the most to gain? Work culture in almost every industry in China is extremely cut-throat, and securing victory by not-so-clean methods isn’t uncommon with the immense pressure to perform. Fans are bringing in their experiences from RL in how they view their idol’s competition—with suspicion, with defensiveness. With swords sharpened and ready for counterattacks.

The ultimate cherry-on-top when it comes to causing conflicts between Gg’s, Dd’s and YiZhan fandoms is, of course, the fact that YiZhan is no garden-variety, heterosexual, character CP. It’s a M/M real person CP, in a society where homosexuality, while legal, is still considered “non-mainstream values” and explicitly censored from TV; where personal freedoms have overall been tightening and laws can change overnight. It’s one thing if their idol is truly in a queer relationship and chooses to announce it themselves; it’s a whole different story if it’s some fans of another idol who “out” them—who publicise their queerness that, in the eyes of these solo fans, may very well be fictional. 227 has already confirmed that in c-ent, idols pay the price of their fan’s wrongdoings and in this case, all it takes is for the YiZhan fandoms to make a single mistake—to celebrate one candy too loudly, for example (“to dance outside the circle”), and catch the attention of the wrong government official — to not only cost their idols their popularity, but their whole career. To the solo fans, therefore, the mere existence of the YiZhan fandoms pose a huge risk to their idol that should’ve been avoidable in the first place. And when they check out the new candies, what do they see? They see Gg leaving hints suggestive of Dd; they see Dd doing inexplicable things that can be linked to Gg. c-Turtles joke sometimes that solo fans are even better than they are at spotting the connections between Gg and Dd. But while turtles see these connections as evidences of a romantic relationship, what solo fans see is the other idol latching onto their own, whose fame makes it a reasonable act; they see it as the other solo fandom carelessly jeopardizing their own idol’s career for the sake of more noise and popularity.

The solo fandoms end up fighting. They have few reasons NOT to do so without the YiZhan-tinted lens.

That said though, I’m not sure if the wars between Gg’s, Dd’s and YiZhan fandoms are truly getting worse. As I write this, my thought is: perhaps it’s not that the fans are disliking each other more, but rather, more and more people are getting involved, and the stakes, the risks are becoming higher and higher. Gg and Dd both had fans during the filming of The Untamed, but they were a small fraction, quantity wise, to what it is now. Even if, at the time, 100% of Gg and Dd fans hated each other, they still wouldn’t have generated the noise than, say, if 0.01% of Gg’s fans are arguing with 0.01% of Dd’s fans now. The arguments then, however ugly they could be, would’ve stayed off hot searches, and largely within the two fandoms. These days, however, when even Gg shaking a pen can make it into hot search (as he did during the Tencent Awards), every heated exchange is amplified by passer-bys, by antis, by done-for-money re-bloggers. Quarrels snowball exponentially to the number of mouths pitching in; so does the antagonistic sentiments behind the hurtful words purposefully or accidentally spilled. Meanwhile, the c-YiZhan fandoms have reached the size that as much as they’ve tried to keep everything away from the public eye, it’s not really possible anymore. Search BJYX online, and videos after videos pop up for any outsider who wish to get a primer—and there’s no control over that content. Gg and Dd’s commercials hint at it. The Tencent Awards show host cued it. Before, the YiZhan fandoms may still be able to get away with a mistake or two. Now, they can make half a mistake and all the info already floating around will make sure that half a mistake will round to one.

If I were a solo fan, perhaps I’d scream my lung out too. Think of how terrible this all is, if Dd(Gg) is actually Gg(Dd)’s most fierce competition, as his being the other half of the CP is meant to be. Think of all the damages these fantastical speculations can do, if My Idol isn’t queer and tomorrow, the government comes down with a decree that outlaws queerness. Maybe My Idol will be spared if he isn’t at the top. But My Idol is at the top. Everyone will point to him. The hot searches will show his name, make sure the powers-that-be see it. He … his downfall… can be made an example …

Okay, okay, I’ll stop playacting here. Phew. That was scary * pats turtle shell to confirm its presence * :) . But can you see how deep that fear can go, for a fan who really, really loves and is therefore protective of their idol? How this fear, which stems from love, can turn into hate and generally loud, angry yelling across the internet? 

[sparktober]

Sparktober Bingo 2021!

Back for a new generation: Sparktober Bingo!

Instead of coming up with an Atlantis-specific list of prompts, I compiled a bunch of 2021 -tober prompt lists into one google doc here. (Links to original prompt lists are on the google doc.) Add in a list of Atlantis episodes and...

How to play:

Choose a “flavor” from the prompt sets below the cut, then paste it into this fandom bingo card generator.

Adjust your browser size til it looks right and take a screenshot, or use the html script if you’re familiar with using html on tumblr. Tag @sparktober​ if you want us to reblog it so everyone knows you’re playing!

  Sparktober Bingo Rules:

Complete a row/column, corners, or a blackout of your card by November 1, or not! Update as you go.

All fan-works are allowed: art, edits, fic, meta... bonus points to anyone who picks the “sprinkles” flavor and goes full mid-aughts by filling their bingo cards with 100x100 pixel icons.

You are allowed to pull multiple cards until you get one that inspires you, and you can also go through the prompt list of your choice in advance to pull out squicks or things you absolutely won’t write. I recommend not googling unfamiliar words from your work computer.

Use the prompts liberally! Episode titles can be treated as the episode or as generic prompts (e.g. “Epiphany” can be for an episode-related fic or a prompt for an epiphany of your choice).

  Flavor descriptions:

VANILLA: Gen prompt lists from Fictober, Inktober, Trektober Gen, and Trektober Trek.

CHOCOLATE: Zesty prompt lists from Trektober NSFW, Kinktober, and Whumptober. The multiple-prompts-per-day from Kinktober and Whumptober have been broken into individual prompts.

CANDY CORN: Fall / holiday themed prompts from TUA-tober.

SPRINKLES: Atlantis episode list (in order, in case you only want to copy certain seasons), along with characters and a few Atlantis-specific prompts.

TWIST: All of the above! (You can also manually mix and match different flavors, of course.)

Text blocks to copy into the bingo card generator are below the cut. Enjoy!!

VANILLA

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty

  CHOCOLATE

A/B/O; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; Hide & Seek; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Pressure; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Nightmares; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex

  CANDY CORN

Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Ghosts; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Halloween

  SPRINKLES

Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Adrift; Lifeline; Reunion; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

 TWIST

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; A/B/O; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex; Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Lifeline; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

[greyias]

@shanfamilydrama​​ asked:

Also I'm 👀👀 for more Grey Dantooine backstory/headcanons, pretty please!

Ask and ye shall receive! So I have this document in my sprawling, semi-organized SWTOR Scrivener file titled “Highwind Family History” that I apparently created *checks date* in May of 2017. And it is somehow over 4400 words long. (I will spare everyone and not copy pasta the thing). But it is interesting how pieces of 6.3 do dovetail into many aspects of it!

So, in fic form, I’ve hinted at Grey’s backstory, and talked about aspects of it here and there, but the entire story hasn’t come out yet -- mostly because it comes as a reveal in the story introducing her brother Draike, as part of an explanation on why their relationship is so strained and antagonistic.

But the TL;DR version of it is:

Grey was born on Dantooine, the second of Davin Onasi and Vainas Highwind’s three children. She grew up in the small farming community of the Khoonda Plains, in the wide countryside where an abandoned Jedi Enclave always loomed on the horizon. In some ways, the ruins always called to her, tantalizing and mysterious, promising adventure.

From the moment Vainas told little Grey of the Force and her adventures as a Jedi during the Great Galactic War, the little girl decided she would become a Jedi. In the way that some children want to grow up to be firefighters, Grey dreamed of being a hero just like her mother, of venturing out into the galaxy and saving the day. Lightsabers sounded so cool, the Force so amazing, it had to be her destiny. Why be a farmer when you could wield a laser sword? 

Her mother taught her the basics of the Force, mostly boring meditation. She dutifully attended those lessons, in the hopes that one day her mother would teach her the more advanced things. And maybe she’d have her own lightsaber and go on adventures too!

And then one fateful day, she got her wish.

(or, as a small snippet from an extensively reworked piece I wrote a few years put it:)

Grey took another deep breath in, feeling the warmth and surety of the Force as she followed its pull towards the old ruins of the abandoned Jedi Enclave. It was technically against the rules to be here, she’d been told time and time again that the area was off limits — too ancient and dangerous to be explored unescorted. But just as many times that her mother had warned her away from the ruins, she’d also talked about the importance of listening to and obeying the will of the Force. And so if the Force knew everything, then maybe it knew when there was an exception to her mother’s rules. And today the Force was practically singing from the ruins, telling her to follow her mother’s impossibly tall Togruta Jedi friend. Every step she took, she could feel the deep voice of the universe beckoning her further. Humming on some inaudible frequency that today was finally the day.

Her adventure as a Jedi was about to begin.

The Togruta Jedi mentioned here is Thyos Dae, and Vainas’s former Padawan. You see, Thyos came to Dantooine because of an Ancient Artifact McGuffin I hadn’t quite figured out, and had meant to beat a Sith and his followers there to remove said McGuffin from the Enclave. However, he gets sidetracked almost as soon as he lands, meeting up with his old Master (whom he thinks of like an older sister) in the marketplace. Vainas invites Thyos to stay with them since they live close enough to the ruins to give him a home base of sorts.

And so over the next few days, he divides his time between the ruins, and catching up with Vainas and bonding with her family. Until one of those days at the ruins, he finds he’s been followed by a curious little girl who is not as good at hiding as she thinks she is. Being a responsible adult, he resigns himself to escorting little Grey back, but on the way, something... feels wrong. So wrong, at one point, Grey stops heeding his advice and starts running.

And by the time they get back to the Highwind homestead, the house is ablaze--and the yard is littered with bodies. Of Davin. Of Vainas. And several felled attackers.

While he was away, that (currently unnamed) Sith had finally tracked down where the mysterious Togruta from the marketplace was staying, thinking that said McGuffin Artifact might be there. There were individuals strong in the Force inside, so to them it made sense to attack first, and ask questions later.

Curiously, the two Highwind boys are nowhere to be found -- and the search for them becomes Thyos’s personal mission. As well as taking care of the now orphaned Force sensitive child who is desperately shaking her mother’s body in an attempt to wake her.

Thyos, of course, feels responsible for all of the children. He feels that this is his fault, that he led his adversary here -- and he spends the rest of his life trying to do his best to parent all three of them in Vainas’s stead. 

Grey takes away a different lesson, though. She’d disobeyed her mother -- and in doing so was robbed of seeing her again, of ever getting to say goodbye. She had ignored the rules, and somehow, this is what happened when someone broke the rules. If she never disobeyed again, if she followed every single rule, then maybe no one she loved would ever die again. If she became the perfect Jedi, if she focused every bit of herself on that, then she could make it up to her mother.

And maybe if she was good enough... one day the Force would bring them back together. Because there is no death, there only is the Force. Or so she was told. And so she would tell herself every time she recited the Jedi Code.

This is of course, just the rationalizations of a traumatized child who has just lost her entire world. Trying to make sense of what is ultimately a senseless act. Outside of herself, no one would begin to blame her for something that is obviously completely out of her control. And so she creates this perfect ideal of a Jedi in her mind, a child’s idea of a hero that she never really shakes, even as an adult. It may not be who the Jedi really are--and she may rationalize anything to the contrary of this fragile world view. 

(Granted, the events at the end of Chapter 2 do a pretty good job of shattering that on their own. But I mean, at that point she’s COMMITTED.)

WHICH... brings us to 6.3! And with all of the above in mind, why this dialogue exchange unexpectedly punched me right in the feels.

Like I know it’s not the exact same, but as I was going through that scene, all I could think of was that Grey was not thinking about the events of KOTOR 1 or 2, but her first attempted, ill-fated trip to the ruins. (Something that she might have been thinking about the entire time, but trying to push to the back of her mind.) She thinks of the strange pull the Enclave had on her as a child, she thinks of the pain and suffering, the senseless deaths that were connected to this place.

Not the lives ended by an orbital bombardment, but the lives of two people she misses very much, even to this day.

And yet... she continues to walk further into the ruins, and closer to the darkness that Malgus has unleashed inside. Because she’s still not convinced she’s done enough, still hasn’t measured up against that childish ideal quite enough to make her mother proud.

[blakegopnik]

SIXTY YEARS AGO THIS WEEK, POP ART WENT PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME

THE DAILY PIC shows the window of the Gunther Jaeckel department store off Fifth Avenue in Manhattan as it stood 60 years ago this week, giving the public its very first glimpse of true Pop Art — by a certain Andy Warhol, as it happens.

This post celebrates that 60th birthday, but also the release of the paperback edition of my Warhol biography, published by Ecco at HarperCollins.

I thought this would be a good moment to list my own favorite moments in the book, so readers of the new edition could cut straight to the chase, as it were.

I’ll admit that I’m particularly happy with what I managed to find out about the changes in marketing at Gunther Jaeckel — and across American retailing — that let Warhol’s Pop Art make sense for its window display in April of ’61.  

Here, in chronological order, are a dozen other moments in my book that I’ll admit to being pleased with:

1) Documents left over from Warhol’s college years — from teachers’ class notes to college textbooks, some covered in Warhol’s own annotations — let me outline precisely what he learned about art, and how advanced that teaching was. Forget the notion, often propagated by Warhol himself, that he was a self-taught know-nothing.

2) The memories and records of gay Pittsburghers revealed the utter brutality that they suffered in Warhol’s hometown in the years after World War II — just when Warhol was coming out. When gays weren’t being beaten up by college jocks they were being shot and extorted by local cops. No wonder Warhol could never be completely comfortable in his queerness.

3) Thanks to records at the Library of Congress, I was able to dig into Warhol’s experiences with the avant-garde dancer Franziska Boas. For several months late in 1949, soon after he’d arrived in New York, Warhol rented a corner of the Chelsea loft that Boas shared with her nudist Lesbian partner. It was his first sustained contact with New York’s gay bohemia, and I think it affected him deeply.

4) It’s a minor detail that almost got left on the cutting-room floor, but in the end I just had to share it with readers: In 1959, Warhol designed a production of Jean Cocteau’s Orphée  put on by students at Barnard; a surviving contact sheet of the sets shows that silver foil and fabrics played a big role — years before Warhol’s famous Silver Factory came into being.

5) There are only shreds of evidence that survive from the meeting between Yves Klein and Warhol at the Chelsea Hotel in the spring of 1961. But I hope my book makes a convincing argument for why the encounter was vital for both of them.

6) Silkscreening and Warhol go together in our minds like … silkscreening and Warhol. But amazing records preserved at the New York Public Library show that by 1962 the technique had acquired all kinds of baggage — aesthetic, political, economic and cultural — that affected what it meant for Warhol to adopt it. It had been celebrated in industry as an example of America’s commercial know-how, denigrated by fine printmakers who were fighting for art-world respect and trumpeted on the left as a way to bring art to the people. I’m pleased with the pages in my book that allowed me to share that complexity.

7) Once Warhol began to build his classic Pop persona, striped sailor’s shirts and dark glasses became part of his signature look. It was fun to unpack exactly what those shirts and those glasses meant in and for 1960s culture: The shirts came with links to Picasso, biker flicks and Jean Seberg; the glasses crossed over between Greta Garbo, JFK, James Bond and Miles Davis. (I discovered that once Warhol went out of a morning in his shades, he couldn’t really take them off again even in the dimmest of rooms; they had prescription lenses that corrected his extreme near-sightedness.)

8) Almost since the moment that Warhol began to live his life in public, people have judged that public life to be one of his most important works. I was pleased to discover that this was more than an empty cliché that might apply to almost any celebrity. Warhol’s self-sculpting was part of an early-’60s trend that saw artists on the farthest margins of the avant-garde working hard to break down any barrier between art and life. Alberto Greco declared his final work to be his own suicide, committed days after one of Warhol’s first appearances in his full biker-jacket-and-shades look, at the ICA in Philadelphia in 1965.

9) Warhol skeptics love to doubt the worth of his “superficial” society portraits. I hope I’ve managed to convince a few doubters that those portraits have true value and heft as a single, giant project in social analysis and commentary. Not everyone will buy my comparison to Goya — but I borrowed it from some of the smartest critics in Warhol’s own day.

10) I was surprised to discover, and pleased that my book could reveal, Warhol’s close ties to late-’60s conceptualism. He admired the conceptualists, mixed with them, collected them and, more than anything, wanted to copy their achievements.  Some ideas he got from them, like an interest in Business Art, got him in trouble when he took them further than anyone else.

11) Warhol’s Shadow paintings, made and shown in the late ’70s, can seem like some of his most straightforward, even superficial works: “Disco décor,” he himself called them, and others have seen them as simple — maybe simpleminded — abstraction. But I hope that, by digging into what disco and abstraction truly meant at the time, to Warhol and others, my book reveals these paintings’ real depths.

12) Already from college days Warhol probably knew of Marcel Duchamp’s doubts about painting’s validity in modern times. Those doubts informed all the many “paintings” that Warhol went on to make. (Those scare quotes are there, invisibly, as a frame around every one of his canvases.) I hope my book shows that those doubts are front and center when he engages with the new, hot painting and painters that hit the scene in the 1980s — he paints to explore his own doubts, not to show that he’s lost them.

(Artworks in my image © The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc.)

For a full survey of past Pics visit blakegopnik.com/archive.

[transparenttriumphzombie]

Christine Jorgensen (May 30, 1926 – May 3, 1989) was an American transgender woman who was the first person to become widely known in the United States for having sex reassignment surgery. Jorgensen grew up in the Bronx, New York City. Shortly after graduating from high school in 1945, she was drafted into the U.S. Army during World War II. After her military service, she attended several schools and worked; it is during this time she learned about sex reassignment surgery. Jorgensen traveled to Europe, and in Copenhagen, Denmark, obtained special permission to undergo a series of operations beginning in 1952.

She returned to the United States in the early 1950s and her transition was the subject of a New York Daily News front-page story. She became an instant celebrity, known for her directness and polished wit, and used the platform to advocate for transgender people. She also worked as an actress and nightclub entertainer and recorded several songs. Jorgensen often lectured on the experience of being transgender and published an autobiography in 1967.

Jorgensen was the second child of carpenter and contractor George William Jorgensen, Sr., and his wife Florence Davis Hansen, and given a male name at birth. She was raised in the Belmont neighborhood of the Bronx, New York City. She later described herself as having been a "frail, blond, introverted little boy who ran from fistfights and rough-and-tumble games".

Jorgensen graduated from Christopher Columbus High School in 1945 and was soon drafted into the U.S. Army at the age of 19. After being discharged from the Army, she attended Mohawk Valley Community College in Utica, New York,[5] the Progressive School of Photography in New Haven, Connecticut, and the Manhattan Medical and Dental Assistant School in New York City. She also worked briefly for Pathé News.

Returning to New York after military service, and increasingly concerned over, as one obituary later called it, a "lack of male physical development", Christine Jorgensen heard about sex reassignment surgery. She began taking estrogen in the form of ethinylestradiol and started researching the surgery with the help of Joseph Angelo, the husband of a classmate at the Manhattan Medical and Dental Assistant School. Jorgensen intended to go to Sweden, where the only doctors in the world who then performed the surgery were located. During a stopover in Copenhagen to visit relatives, she met Christian Hamburger, a Danish endocrinologist and specialist in rehabilitative hormonal therapy. Jorgensen stayed in Denmark and underwent hormone replacement therapy under Hamburger's direction. She chose the name Christine in honor of Hamburger.

She obtained special permission from the Danish Minister of Justice to undergo a series of operations in that country. On September 24, 1951, surgeons at Gentofte Hospital in Copenhagen performed an orchiectomy on Jorgensen. In a letter to friends on October 8, 1951, she referred to how the surgery affected her:

As you can see by the enclosed photos, taken just before the operation, I have changed a great deal. But it is the other changes that are so much more important. Remember the shy, miserable person who left America? Well, that person is no more and, as you can see, I'm in marvelous spirits.

In November 1952, doctors at Copenhagen University Hospital performed a penectomy. In Jorgensen's words, "My second operation, as the previous one, was not such a major work of surgery as it may imply."

She returned to the United States and eventually obtained a vaginoplasty when the procedure became available there. The vaginoplasty was performed under the direction of Angelo, with Harry Benjamin as a medical adviser. Later, in the preface of Jorgensen's autobiography, Harry Benjamin gave her credit for the advancement of his studies. He wrote, "Indeed Christine, without you, probably none of this would have happened; the grant, my publications, lectures, etc."

The New York Daily News ran a front-page story on December 1, 1952, under the headline "Ex-GI Becomes Blonde Beauty", announcing (incorrectly) that Jorgensen had become the recipient of the first "sex change". This type of surgery had previously been performed by German doctors in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Dorchen Richter and Danish artist Lili Elbe, both patients of Magnus Hirschfeld at the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft in Berlin, were known recipients of such operations in 1930–31.

After her surgeries, Jorgensen originally stated that she wanted a quiet life of her own design, but once returning to the United States, the only way she could manage to earn a living was by making public appearances. Jorgensen was an instant celebrity when she returned to New York in February 1953. A large crowd of journalists met her as she came off her flight, and despite the Danish royal family being on the same flight, they were largely ignored in favor of her. Soon after her arrival, she launched a successful nightclub act and appeared on TV, radio, and theatrical productions. The first of a five-part authorized account of her story was written by Jorgensen herself in a February 1953 issue of The American Weekly, titled "The Story of My Life" and in 1967, she published her autobiography, Christine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography, which sold almost 450 thousand copies.

The publicity following her transition and gender reassignment surgery became "a model for other transsexuals for decades. She was a tireless lecturer on the subject of transsexuality, pleading for understanding from a public that all too often wanted to see transsexuals as freaks or perverts ... Ms Jorgensen's poise, charm, and wit won the hearts of millions." However, over time the press was much less fascinated by her and started to scrutinize her much more harshly. She was often asked by print medias if she would pose nude in their publications.

Knox and Jorgensen after being denied a marriage license, April 1959. After her vaginoplasty, Jorgensen planned to marry labor union statistician John Traub, but the engagement was called off. In 1959 she announced her engagement to typist Howard J. Knox in Massapequa Park, New York, where her father had built her a house after her reassignment surgery. However, the couple was unable to obtain a marriage license because Jorgensen's birth certificate listed her as male. In a report about the broken engagement, The New York Times reported that Knox had lost his job in Washington, D.C., when his engagement to Jorgensen became known.

After her parents died, Jorgensen moved to California in 1967. She left behind the ranch home built by her father in Massapequa and settled at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles, California, for a period of time. It was also during this same year that Jorgensen published her autobiography, Christine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography, which chronicled her life experiences as a transsexual and included her own personal perspectives on major events in her life.

During the 1970s and 1980s, Jorgensen toured university campuses and other venues to speak about her experiences. She was known for her directness and polished wit. She once demanded an apology from Vice President Spiro T. Agnew when he called Charles Goodell "the Christine Jorgensen of the Republican Party". (Agnew refused her request.)

Jorgensen also worked as an actress and nightclub entertainer and recorded several songs. In summer stock, she played Madame Rosepettle in the play Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' So Sad. In her nightclub act, she sang several songs, including "I Enjoy Being a Girl", in which, at the end, she made a quick change into a Wonder Woman costume. She later recalled that Warner Communications, owners of the Wonder Woman character's copyright, demanded that she stop using the character; she did so, and instead used a new character of her own invention, Superwoman, who was marked by the inclusion of a large letter S on her cape. Jorgensen continued her act, performing at Freddy's Supper Club on the Upper East Side of Manhattan until at least 1982, when she performed twice in the Hollywood area: once at the Backlot Theatre, adjacent to the discothèque Studio One, and later at The Frog Pond restaurant. This performance was recorded and has been made available as an album on iTunes. In 1984, Jorgensen returned to Copenhagen to perform her show and was featured in Teit Ritzau's Danish transsexual documentary film Paradiset er ikke til salg (Paradise Is Not for Sale). Jorgensen was the first and only known trans woman to perform at Oscar's Delmonico Restaurant in downtown New York, for which owners Oscar and Mario Tucci received criticism.

She died of bladder and lung cancer in 1989, four weeks short of her 63rd birthday. Her ashes were scattered off Dana Point, California.

Jorgensen's highly publicized transition helped bring to light gender identity and shaped a new culture of more inclusive ideas about the subject. As a transgender spokesperson and public figure, Jorgensen influenced other transgender people to change their sex on birth certificates and to change their names. Jorgensen saw herself as a founding member in what became known as the "sexual revolution". Jorgensen stated in a Los Angeles Times interview, "I am very proud now, looking back, that I was on that street corner 36 years ago when a movement started. It was the sexual revolution that was going to start with or without me. We may not have started it, but we gave it a good swift kick in the pants."

In 2012 Jorgensen was inducted into the Legacy Walk, an outdoor public display which celebrates LGBT history and people.

In 2014, Jorgensen was one of the inaugural honorees in the Rainbow Honor Walk, a walk of fame in San Francisco's Castro neighborhood noting LGBTQ people who have "made significant contributions in their fields".

In June 2019, Jorgensen was one of the inaugural 50 American "pioneers, trailblazers, and heroes" included on the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor within the Stonewall National Monument (SNM) in New York City's Stonewall Inn. The SNM is the first U.S. national monument dedicated to LGBTQ rights and history, and the wall's unveiling was timed to take place during the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, during his earlier career as a calypso singer under the name The Charmer, recorded a song about Jorgensen, "Is She Is or Is She Ain't" (The title is a play on the 1940s Louis Jordan song, "Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby".)

Chuck Renslow and Dom Orejudos founded Kris Studios, a male physique photography studio that took photos for gay magazines they published, which was named in part to honor Jorgensen.

Posters for the Ed Wood film Glen or Glenda (1953), also known as I Changed My Sex and I Led Two Lives, publicize the movie as being based on Jorgensen's life. Originally producer George Weiss made her some offers to appear in the film, but these were turned down. Jorgenson is mentioned in connection with Glen in Tim Burton's biopic Ed Wood (1994), but Jorgenson is not depicted as a character.

The Christine Jorgensen Story, a fictionalized biopic based on Jorgensen's memoir, premiered in 1970. John Hansen played Jorgensen as an adult, while Trent Lehman played her at age seven.

In Christine Jorgensen Reveals, a stage performance at the 2005 Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Jorgensen was portrayed by Bradford Louryk. To critical acclaim, Louryk dressed as Jorgensen and performed to a recorded interview with her during the 1950s while video of Rob Grace as comically inept interviewer Nipsey Russell played on a nearby black-and-white television set. The show went on to win Best Aspect of Production at the 2006 Dublin Gay Theatre Festival, and it ran Off-Broadway at New World Stages in January 2006. The LP was reissued on CD by Repeat The Beat Records in 2005.

Transgender historian and critical theorist Susan Stryker directed and produced an experimental documentary film about Jorgensen, titled Christine in the Cutting Room. In 2010 she also presented a lecture at Yale University titled "Christine in the Cutting Room: Christine Jorgensen's Transsexual Celebrity and Cinematic Embodiment". Both works examine embodiment vis-à-vis cinema.

The 2016 book Andy Warhol was a Hoarder: Inside the Minds of History's Great Personalities, by journalist Claudia Kalb, devotes a chapter to Jorgensen's story, using her as an example of gender dysphoria and the process of gender transition in its earliest days.

Jorgensen, Christine (1967). Christine Jorgensen: A Personal Autobiography. New York, New York: Bantam Books. ISBN 978-1-57344-100-1.

[whereforebase]

Top 5 monologues?

i hate you so much

1. Mark Antony, Julius Caesar 3.2

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it. Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest— For Brutus is an honourable man; So are they all, all honourable men— Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill: Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept: Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honourable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; And, sure, he is an honourable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause: What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me.

2. Richard, Richard II 3.2

No matter where; of comfort no man speak: Let's talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs; Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth, Let's choose executors and talk of wills: And yet not so, for what can we bequeath Save our deposed bodies to the ground? Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke's, And nothing can we call our own but death And that small model of the barren earth Which serves as paste and cover to our bones. For God's sake, let us sit upon the ground And tell sad stories of the death of kings; How some have been deposed; some slain in war, Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed; Some poison'd by their wives: some sleeping kill'd; All murder'd: for within the hollow crown That rounds the mortal temples of a king Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits, Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp, Allowing him a breath, a little scene, To monarchize, be fear'd and kill with looks, Infusing him with self and vain conceit, As if this flesh which walls about our life, Were brass impregnable, and humour'd thus Comes at the last and with a little pin Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king! Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood With solemn reverence: throw away respect, Tradition, form and ceremonious duty, For you have but mistook me all this while: I live with bread like you, feel want, Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus, How can you say to me, I am a king?

3. Edmund, King Lear 1.2 - literally 50/50 tossup between this and “this is the excellent foppery of the world” don’t make me choose

Thou, Nature, art my goddess; to thy law My services are bound. Wherefore should I Stand in the plague of custom, and permit The curiosity of nations to deprive me, For that I am some twelve or fourteen moonshines Lag of a brother? Why bastard? wherefore base? When my dimensions are as well compact, My mind as generous, and my shape as true, As honest madam's issue? Why brand they us With base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base? Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take More composition and fierce quality Than doth, within a dull, stale, tired bed, Go to th' creating a whole tribe of fops Got 'tween asleep and wake? Well then, Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land. Our father's love is to the bastard Edmund As to th' legitimate. Fine word- 'legitimate'! Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed, And my invention thrive, Edmund the base Shall top th' legitimate. I grow; I prosper. Now, gods, stand up for bastards!

4. Lady Percy, Henry IV Part 2 2.3

O, yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars! The time was, father, that you broke your word, When you were more endear'd to it than now; When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry, Threw many a northward look to see his father Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain. Who then persuaded you to stay at home? There were two honours lost, yours and your son's. For yours, the God of heaven brighten it! For his, it stuck upon him as the sun In the grey vault of heaven; and by his light Did all the chivalry of England move To do brave acts. He was indeed the glass Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves. He had no legs that practis'd not his gait; And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish, Became the accents of the valiant; For those who could speak low and tardily Would turn their own perfection to abuse To seem like him: so that in speech, in gait, In diet, in affections of delight, In military rules, humours of blood, He was the mark and glass, copy and book, That fashion'd others. And him—O wondrous him! O miracle of men!—him did you leave— Second to none, unseconded by you— To look upon the hideous god of war In disadvantage, to abide a field Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name Did seem defensible. So you left him. Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong To hold your honour more precise and nice With others than with him! Let them alone. The Marshal and the Archbishop are strong. Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers, To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck, Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave.

5. Romeo, Romeo & Juliet 5.3

In faith, I will. Let me peruse this face. Mercutio's kinsman, noble County Paris! What said my man, when my betossed soul Did not attend him as we rode? I think He told me Paris should have married Juliet: Said he not so? or did I dream it so? Or am I mad, hearing him talk of Juliet, To think it was so? O, give me thy hand, One writ with me in sour misfortune's book! I'll bury thee in a triumphant grave; A grave? O no! a lantern, slaughter'd youth, For here lies Juliet, and her beauty makes This vault a feasting presence full of light. Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interr'd.

[Laying PARIS in the tomb]

How oft when men are at the point of death Have they been merry! which their keepers call A lightning before death: O, how may I Call this a lightning? O my love! my wife! Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty: Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, And death's pale flag is not advanced there. Tybalt, liest thou there in thy bloody sheet? O, what more favour can I do to thee, Than with that hand that cut thy youth in twain To sunder his that was thine enemy? Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet, Why art thou yet so fair? shall I believe That unsubstantial death is amorous, And that the lean abhorred monster keeps Thee here in dark to be his paramour? For fear of that, I still will stay with thee; And never from this palace of dim night Depart again: here, here will I remain With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here Will I set up my everlasting rest, And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss A dateless bargain to engrossing death! Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark! Here's to my love!

[Drinks]

O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

[strange-destinations]

Hey Kitty, due to your stories I've started to seek out Benny & Brax stories. So far, I've simply picked a few boxsets (Legion and New Frontiers) where I spotted the fabulous Miles Richardson on the cover. I was wondering, is there a better way to go about this? Do you have any recommendations and/or a listening order you would suggest? Thanks in advance and I hope your wrist is getting better :)

Legion is... a bit of a tricky place to start in, all things considered. It’s kind of like throwing yourself in at the deep end, because it somewhat relies on knowledge of the previous few box sets (Epoch and Road Trip) and the characters that were introduced in those. Those, in turn, follow off the end of the Collection stories, but to be honest if you just want to jump in at the box sets that’s perfectly fine - Epoch’s made to kind of be the ‘jumping-on’ point. All you have to know is that at the beginning of Epoch, the universe has been sort of ‘reset’ and Benny’s looking for her son, Peter, who was lost in the resulting chaos. The rest kind of explains itself.

Brax isn’t in Epoch or Road Trip, but Ruth is and Ruth’s a darling, and there’s some pretty good stories in both of them all things considered, so!

EDIT: OH OH GOSH PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS BIT IT’S SO IMPORTANT all of the Benny stories from Epoch to Missing Persons are available for free on Spotify!!! like, completely free, no strings attached and in fact there’s a lot of Big Finish stories legally free to stream via Spotify, here’s a full list

Two alternate points to jump into the Benny stories, since you’re looking for benny-brax dynamics:

1) The Virgin books. There’s plenty of places to find these online (since the original publishers don’t get revenue from it, it’s generally considered Okay to download them, although I’m sure you can find physical copies if you searched for a while).

Benny and Brax first meet in Theatre of War, which is part of the VNA Doctor Who books (Benny’s still Seven’s companion, Ace is also there) and also is honestly a really really great book. There’s also a Big Finish adaptation of this story if you prefer that!! it’s a bit different to the book but still a really good spin on it. This one’s pretty much standalone.

Brax’s next cameo is in Happy Endings, and it’s very very brief although rather sweet. Happy Endings is the Benny Gets Married To Jason book and it’s honestly genuinely just a lot of pointless fluff.

...and then he comes back in the Benny solo books! These are a mixed bag but Dellah!Era Benny is a lot of fun and a particular favorite of mine. All you need to know (if you skipped the rest of the VNAs) is that Benny has retired as the Doctor’s companion, got a depressing divorce with Jason (f in the chat) and is now working as a Professor of Archaeology at St Oscar’s University.

Dragon’s Wrath is where they meet for the first time - good good book! Their dynamic is peak here. 

Brax does show up in a few other books but I can’t for the life of me recall a lot of them. I’ve still got to sit down and read through all of them in order some day, there’s a coherent overarching plot and everything. Where Angels Fear is definitely one where Brax shows up, uh. someone else help. it’s so late

anyway anyway Tears of the Oracle - best book. i first read it way WAY out of context and i still loved it. they’re best friends and it makes me sob every time. ‘she’s like family’

anyway yeah, Bernice Summerfield New Adventures - find a zip file of them somewhere and read them, they’re p good! and this is the era that Sepelio is set in, in case you didn’t realize this (i know at least one person didn’t)

2) The Collection-era audios (and tie-in books). Okay, I’ll be honest, I haven’t listened to this particular era in... nearly five years. And it’s a headache to get your head around, because some of the audios are closely interlinked with the books, and the books are hell to find, and there’s some Very Iffy Content for some of the stories and. I know y’all come to me for Benny Advice a lot but my memory’s so dreadful. half the time when writing i just operate on gut instinct for canon events and rely on the fact that this fandom’s so small nobody’s going to call me out on being ridiculous. Or I can also blame it on timeline shenanigans.

can... can someone jump in and give a guide to the collection-era stories and which ones to listen to/read for Plot Purposes? I know someone with knowledge is out there. it’s honestly an amazing story arc, I just wish I had the time to lay everything out properly.

The following, however, are pretty standalone and feature Brax heavily.

The Extinction Event - first audio ft. Brax. nothing especially special but it does establish some of the basework for some of his later Questionable Stuff.

The Mirror Effect - delightfully creepy, beautifully effective characterization, benny & brax & adrien & jason trapped in a creepy haunted mirror location and trying to get out. 

The Crystal of Cantus - maybe not entirely standalone BUT how can i not put this one down. very funny and very horrifying. benny and jason and brax go on a fun field trip and find out the True Meaning Of Cybermen. benny gains a fuckton of trauma.

...and then after Crystal everything gets plotty and complicated. not that it wasn’t before, but... oh well.

There’s also some books/short story anthologies in this era that are standalone/don’t require much context. Their names all escape me. Once again, help?

BONUS: Many Happy Returns - the Benny anniversary story which is more like a framing device for a fuckton of other stories set within pretty much every era. Cameos from everyone. Delightful and heartwrenching. Really really good, but maybe get some basis in various parts of canon before you check it out. Or maybe check it out and then start jumping around to find bits that interest you? I don’t know. I went through everything in painstaking chronological order from the tender age of 14 and now here I am, writing gory cannibal fanfiction about an emotionally repressed theatre professor and his disaster archaeology best friend.

...anyway, hopefully this helps at least somewhat! It’s past midnight and i’m wracking my brains as I try to remember what bits of an extremely extensive canon I enjoyed the most. let me know if there’s anything you need clarification on, I’m aware this is a bit of a disaster post.