tuhuterumutiara

[david-goldrock]

So, last night, me and my mom were talking about the I/P conflict and we started getting on the topic of antisemitism and she had some very interesting thoughts!

But I had said “Why do people say things like Jews are behind everything in the media? Why them specifically? Where did that come from?”

And she said her theory was “Well, since they experienced so much hatred and violence and persecution their entire lives, they became more secretive and reserved. Due to that, people started finding them weird and almost creepy, like they were conspiring, leading to them believing they are doing crazy shit, like being behind the media.”

And it really got me thinking. Why has it always been Jews? Why have Jews always, since the dawn of humanity, been the ones who have experienced so much hate and persecution?

Why then specifically. Like, why anyone, really. But the Jews just feel like such a specific group to target and hate. I know there’s a biblical explanation behind it, but I mean within history. Why has everyone hated them?

Why?

I can’t understand this. 

The more I think about how horrible it is, the sadder I get. Hell, I’m kind of tearing up as of writing this because the thought is just horrible. 

Like, you and Morgana and Shine and every other lovely Jew I have met on this site are so kind and wonderful people. I can’t understand why people, amazing and wonderful people like you guys, could be hated and abused for centuries for simply existing. 

It’s horrible…

DISCLAIMER: I do not know enough about the subject, only a couple of articles, and a few classes in high school. this is not a replacement for studying, this is only what I know

tbh the answer is, sadly, Christianity, Islam, Nazism and the protocols.

let's start with Islam as it is simpler there: the Quran tells Muslims to kill all jews, to make everyone Muslim, and that judgement day will not come until the jews are dead. we were dhimmi (second class citizens) for the better part of the last millennia and a half, and jews lived in extreme conditions there.

Now the christian world. your mother is partially right, it has some to do with the separatist nature of jews: after the diaspora began (and even a bit before, when the unrest in Israel grew in the second temple period), judaism got even more separatist than it already was: no marrying outside the faith, stay in the community, you need so-and-so jews to do this and that and so forward. this led to jews living separately from the other people around them, which made them suspicious, this is probably the main reason that even after the fall of fundamental christianity, jews are still hunted in the modern world. that said, the tools and traditions of antisemitism are older, and are still in use

First, in the early days of christianity, it was common in catholic thinking that jews are collectively responsible for the death of Jesus of Nazareth, and that they should be punished for that sin.

Moreover, the Catholic Church has forbidden christians from handling money, and forbade jews from owning land (which is pretty difficult for being a farmer), while the jews had an extremely high literacy average compared to the rest of Europe (because unlike the christians who listened to sermons, jews had to learn the bible and debate it and understand it, while learning in the "Cheyder" (room, also the nickname for a rabbinic school)). this meant that jews were disproportionally attracted to jobs like banking, loaning, lawyering, entertainment, and any job that required literacy, but not land. This was good for the economic worries of the jews, but terrible for their position in society. jews were associated with the people who took your money wrongly, or helped to get you in jail, and made the animosity between jews and christians high. this is the origin of 2 famous conspiracy theories: jews control the world's economy, and jews control the world's media.

This is not mentioning the old libels, such as the blood libel (that jews use christian children's blood to bake matzah [I am certain that none of the people who say that know what a matzah is, it is a pale beige color, how could you hide blood in that?!]) or the well poisoning tale (that claimed that the reason for the Black Death was jews poisoning the water wells). these libels could have been applied to any minority, but jews were the scapegoat, starting a long tradition of similar libels (read the American leftist news, and you'd see the same stories everywhere, each time in a different costume).

Then the nazis came to power, and while drawing a lot from ancient antisemitism, they invented a lot of new stuff (IDK why Hitler chose the jews, but he did, and it was massive): jews were now irredeemable from birth, possessing inherent negative qualities that could be passed down through generations, stealing everything they claim to have invented, being inherently inferior to other germans, being communists (and capitalist) that plan to destroy the economy and get rich, betrayers who made Germany lose WW1, and many more stereotypes that keep on in the cultural memory

A bit later, in Russia, a document called "The protocols of the elders of Zion" was released (I don't know its history, I am sorry), and it is the backbone of every modern conspiracy, you know, the kind that goes "so-and-so" are a secret group of deep state actors trying to take over the world. this is the protocols. its ideas are embedded deep in the cultural understanding of all of us. if you believe in any conspiracy theory, the protocols will be a no-brainer.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hiii, I'd like to request a match up !!

First of all, sorry if it's written weird, English is not my first language and I'm in need of a few days of sleep lmao :') also this is very long because I have no idea how to write concisely to save my life, so, sorry for your eyes? brain? Idk but sorry

1 - I'm AFAB genderqueer, might be a demigirl ? idk gender is confusing. anyways, I use any pronouns because I'm extra like that lmao, and I prefer my sexuality to stay unlabelled for now

2 - Papas !! (they're so silly I love them)

3 - I'm rather small (163cm/5'4") and kinda pudgy. I would not say I'm plus size but I'm definitely thicker than average, especially around my hips and thighs (stretch marks n cellulite gang WYA). I used to be very insecure about it but thankfully I got better at loving myself (still working on it but I'll get there eventually). I'm also getting a tattoo on my upper left arm very soon (inspired by Kafka's Metamorphosis because yes) and hopefully some more piercings (I only have triple lobe for now). my hair's light brown and very short, I buzzed it back in August and I'm growing it out. Yes, I do have a terrible case of bed head. I also trim my eyebrows to be very short, makes it easier to do my makeup. Almost forgot to talk about my eyes, but basically they're blue-ish green and usually overshadowed by the huge dark circles I have. I don't dress according to one particular style, although I enjoy being in full goth fashion, makeup and all. I would probably describe my style by 'satanic grandma' because as much as I love my band shirts and inverted crosses, I also cannot live without my extensive collection of grandpa sweaters and ugly ties.

4 - I'm an introvert - and an awkward anxious ball of nerves at that, but I don't mind stepping up to the task in social situations if the people I'm with are not comfortable ordering food/asking a question. I usually am very cautious of how I act with new people I meet as I am autistic and don't want to 'scare them off' or make them uncomfortable. However, if we vibe, you get to know the still anxious but also very silly me. I especially love coming across other people that are on the spectrum, because we usually have a certain understanding of each other's way of acting and just be silly together. Speaking from experience with my closest friends, at least (not generalizing autistic people !!).

5 - I've been hyperfixating on Ghost for a good while now, but apart from that I'm very much interested in art. Learning about it of course, but also making it (I'm in art prep class rn and it's kicking my ass, send help). Drawing, writing, taking photos, making zines and stuff... hopefully after prep class I can get into a proper art school and study illustration, and maybe look into becoming a graphic novel author. My favorite artists would probably be Dora Maar, Gustave Doré and Gustav Klimt tbh. I also have an interest in geopolitics and history, especially in the Middle Ages' witch hunts and black death, but also in more recent topics such as the satanic panic. Basically all things occult and satanic. I also love internet horror media such as ARGs, like My house.wad or the Hypnagogic Archive. Music taste wise, I listen to everything, but my favorite genres are hard rock and metal. I'd say my all time fav artists are Ghost, Slayer (South of Heaven walked so that Year Zero could run, change my mind), Iron Maiden, SOAD, Twin Temple, Radiohead, alex g and Mitski.

6 - I'm a huge cat person but I also very much love crows and rats and reptiles and overall all the animals that would seem weird to keep as pets. Also I love love LOVE having deep conversations about complicated philosophical topics at night in a calm spot at a party or smth, specifically while drinking off-brand soda. Idk why I included this, I just thought of it and I'm too tired to question how my sleep deprived brain thinks right now.

Sorry again for the huge wall of text, y'all are the best !

Have a good day/night !!

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is...Copia

He's all for helping you love yourself, he'll kiss any part of your body you are insecure about and everyday he tells you how amazing you look. The thing that really makes it work is that he means it, you can see the sincerity in his expression.

He can also be an awkward anxious bundle of nerves. But what is so cute is that both of you try and step up for the other in social situations. You see Papa Emeritus IV come out a lot at those times.

You vibed immediatly with him it was just an instant connection. He just got you, and you him. He treasures that so much.

He will help all he can with your art class prep. Like whatever you need. If you want him to just keep you company he's there, if you need models he'll get his rats to pose with him (it's just adorable). Or if you need to work super hard he'll bring you food and drinks to keep you going.

Sometimes he joins you but drawing isn't his strongest skill so it's a good giggle, he can laugh at his mistakes and he enjoys seeing you smile at them. Other times he'll sit and write songs as you work, he wrote one about you just the other day.

He got so excited when he found out you had an interest in the middle ages, witch hunts and black death. He literally squeaked with joy and you discussed it long into the night, while drinking lots of off-brand soda.

He also finds some really cool books for you to read from the clergy library, occult, satanic panic and so on, it's all there.

~

Written by Nyx

[starsweepers]

15 Questions For The Writer

1. Are you named after anyone? nope! my mom just liked the name.

2. When was the last time you cried? lol i almost cried today because Hormones. but actually i'm not sure when? it's been a bit... i've done some "tear ups" but i can't recall the last time i actually cried cried. i want to imagine some time in november/october when work was killing me.

3. Do you have kids? does my cat count? she's like five kids in one little eight pound body.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yeah but mostly in person ( my sarcasm tends to get lost on people a lot in texting... ) or with people who know me very well or i have to include a stupid image with it to show people i'm being teasing. it's almost always teasing sarcasm.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? i'm not sure? it kind of depends on the situation i think. clothes, seeming age, hair, or physical state are probably the like... first things i really take from a distance since those are usually the most obvious standouts to tell you about the person you're seeing. when i'm looking at a picture or up closer, i actually tend to notice teeth and smile... sometimes skin condition. which i know all sounds really shallow and kind of is, but also i've battled a lot of teeth issues and skin issues so i think i just subconsciously look at those after staring at my own for so long.

6. What’s your eye colour? blue.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? i've never liked watching scary movies tbh. i like watching let's players do scary games and sometimes i like the plots of scary movies, but i never have much an interest in watching them. they just never clicked with me. especially if they're the sort with exceedingly over the top g.ore deaths. i don't mind tension and darkness ( criminal shows like svu for example ), but the main sorts of films to fall under the general trope of "scary movie" aren't really that sort usually. so happy endings by default i guess lol.

8. Any special talents? i can squish my nose flat against my face and i can bend my pinky finger without my ring or middle finger moving.

9. Where were you born? laupheim, germany!

11. Have you any pets? currently just my cat, mazey. growing up i had a cat, dog, a gerbil, and two hamsters.

12. What sport do you play/have played? oh gosh. i currently play soccer, indoor soccer, flag football, and tennis. i have also done swimming, horseback, softball, gymnastics, inner tube water polo, inner tube water basketball, street hockey, wall ball, basketball... i've tried a lot of things, i really love sports.

13. How tall are you? 5'9"

14. Favorite subject in school? idk. i enjoyed art and the marine biology classes i took. i hated math, but i was good at it. i had social studies teachers that were so much fun despite hating the studies... some good english teachers despite not liking most of the topics... uh. can i include college? robotics with legos was my favorite LMAO.

15. Dream job? i mean dream job would be getting to travel whenever i want and never have to pay for anything but not have to create content for it lol. but idk what i want job wise that is like. logical lol. i'm working a pretty cool gig right now i know a lot of people would love, but i'm not sure i would label it the dream position. i'm just kind of... vibing my way through life.

tagging: whoever might wanna do this... or whoever read all my answers tagged by: @yukikorogashi ( thankies! )

[perexcri]

44, 50, 71, 77, if you're still doing the book asks from a few days ago!!!

hello lovely it is never too late to get me to talk about books ever✨

(though only two of these have pics unlike my last asks, mostly because i borrowed the third one from a friend and the fourth one is not worthy of a picture <3)

44. your favourite fantasy novel

The Poppy War trilogy by R. F. Kuang!!

R. F. Kuang is one of my favorite writers of all time, and she absolutely won me over last year when i read this trilogy. i already went on and on about it in another ask, but basically, imagine 20th century Chinese history in a fantasy setting heavily influenced by folk religions told through the eyes of Mao Zedong if he was a girl. it's sooooooo so good, has one of the best and most flawed and nuanced female protagonists i've ever read, plus it's just interesting to learn from! Kuang is getting her PhD in Chinese lit right now and she has a Master's in Chinese Studies, on top of being the child of immigrants from China, so she's well-versed in the history and weaves a lot of depth into the story with relation to topics like colonialism, genocide, classism and sexism, and religion

50. a book that made you cry a LOT

Bridge of Clay by Markus Zusak!!

ok i'm actually lying because i don't remember actually crying about this book - in fact, i vividly remember being 13 and crying much more violently upon my first read of The Book Thief. here's the thing, though: there's a deep and personal sadness to this book that hit close enough to some of my own experiences that i haven't been able to read it since. i love Zusak's writing so much and this book was beautiful and heartbreaking and wonderful - and i will probably never read it again! i've reread books that made me cry before, but when one makes me feel this deep of an ache, i tend to avoid it, and this book hit just the right spot

71. your favourite LGBTQ+ fiction

I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston!!

ok this is kinda sad but i actually haven't read a lot of books that are specifically focused on LGBTQ+ issues, identity, etc. i've read more books where background characters are incidentally queer ofc because when i was the prime ya target audience that was where things were at the time, but thankfully the times have changed!! now if only my tbr list would catch up to match them lol

i really enjoyed this book though specifically because of its setting: a tiny private Christian school in the Bible Belt. that's literally the kind of school i attended for almost my entire life, so it was so fun to get to see that setting transferred into fiction, especially from an author who also attended a tiny private Christian school in the Bible Belt. and because of the author's familiarity with the subject, they did a great job of showing the kind of layers that environment has, and that queer kids do grow up in those environments and how that effects them.

plus, this one was a fun read because it's just this fun mystery, and the opening quote is from Mr. Brightside. that alone is enough of a reason to read something tbh

77. a book so useless that you could use it as a coaster

i would argue literally any required reading i had to do in high school, but it's absolutely tied between Silas Marner by George Eliot and Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. i hate both of these books just as much as i did in high school because they are boring as hell, beat you over the head with their moralizing, and have the subtlety of a punch to the face with brass knuckles. hell, they aren't even worth being used as coasters. i think they'd ruin my mugs if i set them on them

and on that note, thank you so much for the ask!! i'm not scuttling over to your inbox to send some questions of my own heheheh 💜💜💜

[soulerflaire]

Just finished March Comes in Like a Lion, thoughts under the cut.

Going in, I thought this was gonna be like Chihayafuru, a show about a high schooler obsessed with a competitive game learning to deal with the problems of being a teenager while also balancing the problems of being a competitive player. But right off the bat, this show made it clear that it was very, very different. It’s much heavier, dealing with much more difficult topics very openly. Rei is in a deep depression when the show starts, suffering from a lot of trauma over the past several years of his life.

However, slowly but surely, with the help of people around him, he’s able to climb up for air. And, realistically, he’s not 100% okay, and he may never be. But he’s found things in life that he cares about, found a reason to do more with himself than endlessly study and practice shogi. At the start, he almost never took the sisters up on their offers to come over for dinner, and we see Akari has to basically force him to come over (neat trick with asking him to pick up ingredients) to make sure he eats a decent meal every now and then. But by the end of the second season, he’s over at their place frequently, and multiple times came over without needing a specific invitation. He finally allowed himself to rely on them, and realized he found people he can trust and who trust him.

It happens so gradually that it’s easy to miss. Watching Rei repeatedly bring food over, and spend several evenings a week tutoring Hinata, you forget how Akari and Hinata had to strongarm him into coming over early on. It’s a show with a lot of sad episodes, and it gets really heavy when it goes into the abuse and trauma Rei went through (and tbh is still going through with his sister visiting) and the bullying that Hinata faces, but seeing the character growth in both of them is so uplifting. Everyone relies on each other, from Akari and Hinata making sure Rei eats well and has a safe space, to Rei consoling Hinata when her friend moves to escape the bullying, to the grandpa supporting Akari and giving her advice when she struggles to fill the role her mom left her. And that’s not even getting into the shogi players and how they help lift Rei out of his spiral of depression and in turn he (albeit unintentionally) motivates them to keep fighting for their dreams.

I know the manga goes on for much longer, but it’s been a few years since the last episode of the anime came out, so I’m no holding out much hope for another season. In regards to the anime, I’m fine with it ending where it did. The one thing I would have liked to see was Rei graduating, and finding out if he decided to quit shogi or keep playing.

I was fascinated by the ongoing theme that Rei doesn’t actually like shogi; he originally played it because it was the best (or only) way he could spend time with his father, and then he kept playing to earn his place in his adoptive family’s household. Then he went professional and played to earn enough money to live on his own. Then he wanted to help Hinata, so he played to earn money for her, as it was the only thing he thought he could do to help. He was never at any point playing shogi because he actually wanted to or enjoyed doing it. I think the only match we know for sure he enjoyed was against Soya. Part of me really likes the idea of him graduating, quitting professional shogi (but continuing to play matches with people he knows, like Nikaido and Shimada) and getting a job the crescent moon sweet shop, or finding other work he enjoys.

It’s such a different feel than Chihayafuru, but I think I liked them both about the same. Well, maybe I liked MCiLaL a little bit more because it didn’t have the tedious forced love triangle that Chihayafuru had. Very good show, I highly recommend giving it a try.

[straycatboogie]

2023/04/08 English

BGM: Underworld - Rez

I usually write my ideas onto a memo pad, which has the name Mnemosyne from Maruman. Once, when the corona disease started, I bought this memo pad at Tokyu Hands in Himeji city and started writing various ideas. The different fact from other people's might be the one I am using English to write. Sometimes people ask me why I use English, but I can't answer the reason why certainly (by the way, I have never study abroad. I just learned English literature at a university, and never studied anymore). But once I heard that some people might be good at using English better than Japanese. Then, I might be one of that kind of people. Once I wrote my ideas onto a memo pad of Daiso, but it never went well. Just trying to write in English by my feeling fit my mind smoothly. At least, this is the fact from my point of view. Now, I never think about trying TOEIC, but just learning English like that.

Today was a day off. In the morning, I went to AEON and tried to read Manuel Castelle's "Communication Power" because I wanted to do a different things from my routine by my feeling. TBH this books is a paperback in English, and I heard that this is the book Audrey Tang, a Taiwanese politician's favorite book so I had bought it from curiosity. But it is tough to read because I am not used to read English. I have to accept the fact that it would work better for me to read more easier English books. I have to say I lost. In other words, I should wait for the time as pleasure when I can enjoy this book after I can improve my English. So I decided to read the English books as Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" and Paul Auster's "Moon Palace". There is no royal road to learn. Especially, on learning any languages we shouldn't be hurry to grow. Practicing every day will work as growing up. At least, I could have learned that from my experiences. I swear that I will learn English on Discord from today again.

Next Sunday I will be busy to go to vote, so today I did it. I read David J. Charmers's "Reality+". The topic has changed into about fake news, which lead me to think the possibility I have been cheated by any fake (in other word, the possibility I have been believing fake this moment). But the point is the fact that I might have the will "I want to believe sweet fact" or "I wanted to be cheated". Then, how can I find the true from the vast sea of fake? All I can do is just training my hunch every day to find any fishy things. When corona disease started, I almost believed the opinion that "Influenza is more dangerous from this corona". And about vaccination, I got confused deeply but decided to get. But even now I can't say that choice must be correct. The possibility of finding which is correct might be found after my death. It is not zero.

In the evening, I read Toshiya Ueno's "Reading autobiographies from philosophers". In this book, Toshiya Ueno talks about the danger of "finding myself". Not about having any interest in oneself, but facing other people's words which can give another point of view to "crash" oneself. This book recommends to read/encounter various autobiographies of philosophers as that activity. Me, when I learned I am autistic, I said a lot that "I am autistic" and tried to keep that fact as my identity firmly. But the fact says that I can be consisted by many identities. Sometimes opposite identity would tear me apart, and show any paradox or confused self. Then, I have to face that kind of paradox or confusion. Ignoring that diversity in myself would not be realistic. I learn English and enjoy several cultures from foreign countries, but  also have a nationalistic essence that enables me to say I love sushi and miso soup. Then, it can just be OK.

[infiniteglitterfall]

Hello! I'm here to bring you your breaking medical news from Twitter!

(No lie: I'm sure it depends who you're following, but I get really clear and specific COVID-19 info there.)

In this peer-reviewed, randomized, double-blind, multicentre, parallel group, placebo-controlled phase III clinical trial (which you KNOW I read through before sharing!), people with COVID-19 tested negative much sooner when using nitric oxide nasal spray.

It reduced the virus in their noses, which makes it less contagious AND means the patients get less sick.

(It specifically mentioned symptoms ending sooner, and it looked like a fair number of people on placebo were still having symptoms after 2½ weeks. I really hope that means it will significantly reduce the risk of long COVID, but of course it'll take months to find out for sure.)

And it apparently works on all (or just lots?) of airborne viruses.

More trials are apparently on the way, but you can buy these sprays over the counter - at least online.

[realcube]

class 1-A’s love languages headcanons 💕

tw// swearing, crying, she/her reader

Yuuga Aoyama

his love language is words of affirmation

like tell him that he looks fabulous but he is also a talented hero 

and. he. will. die. 

of happiness ofc 🥰

and whenever you are feelin’ insecure he’ll do a pretend fashion show with you to boost you spirits (o゜▽゜)o☆

Mina Ashido

her love language is physical touch

but not in a *holds your hand 🥺* *kithes🥰* sorta way

but rather in a

“YOU’RE SO FKN CUTE, (Y/N)!!!” *aggressively pinches your cheeks*

and whenever she kisses/hugs you, it’s always a surprise attack form behind

she is also 159cm in height (almost 5″3)

so if you are shorter than her, she’ll sprint up to you and before you have time to react, she’ll engulf you in her arms

if you are around the same height as her, she’ll sneak up to you and try to jump onto your back, peppering you in neck kisses

and if you are taller than her, she’ll grab your hand and place a kiss on the back of it 

Tsuyu Asui

i think her love language is gift giving 

but not typically gifts from the store

it’s usually cute flowers or any sort of pretty flora that she finds on her walks 

and she’ll sometimes come to your room just before lights-out and hand you a shiny rock or a colourful flower like “hi, (y/n). i found this flower in the park a nd it reminded me of you. so here, i hope you like it.”

then you cry (❤´艸｀❤) it’s too precious

also when she visits your dorm, she notices that you have a jar filled with all the flowers she’s every gave you and shE BRAIDS THEM INTO YOUR HAIR

and if you don’t have hair, she makes you a flower crown out of them

Tenya Iida

the king of gifts periodt ✋

to him, gift giving is kinda like a sport and if it was, he’d definitely be winning

he’ll be out getting groceries or sumn then he’ll pass the candy aisle and just *flashback to 3 months ago when y’all were studying together and you randomly said you were craving sour patch kids*

then he buys two packs of sour patch kids (❤ ω ❤)

so obviously excels during holidays like christmas, valentines day or your birthday 

and if you make it explicitly clear that you need something (ex. water, medication, cutlery, soap etc.) and you will go get it in x amount of day(s)

expect it to be in your hands within 1-9 hours 

“Iida, you didn’t have to rush out to get me Ibuprofen - I was going to go get some in a few days anyway.”

“Yes, but as a hero in training, you must agree that seeing your partner potentially suffer to due a preventable cause would be inhumane.”

“I-..”

Ochaco Uraraka

her love language is probably quality time

OR words of affirmation BUT ONLY ONLINE

like irl she loves going on lil’ picnic dates with you or dates to go watch the sunset or star-gazing..or literally anything where she gets to spend as much time in your presence as possible

you could literally take her on a date inside the sewers and she’d be like 🥰

in the moment (during the date) she just looks at you and wants to tell you how beautiful you are but she is way too nervous

but as soon you leave she texts you sumn like ‘OMG >< YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS 😍 AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU SO BAD BUT I COULDN’T 😩’ 

also, hypothetically, if she had a phone which supported social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat 

she would definitely be the sort of girl to post cute candid pics of you on any special occasion and i mean ANY

like she doesn’t want to just random post pics of you bc she thinks that’d be weird so she looks for any excuse she can

deadass she’d post a beach pic of you and her on her insta with a caption like, ‘happy pancake day to @y/n.l/n 🥰💖 on our first date we shared a stack of pancakes so this is a really special day for us 💓 i’m so blessed to have a stunning, smart, amazing gal like her by my side always 💕’

Mashirao Ojiro 

he’s a physical touch kinda guy

sometimes he’ll randomly drape his tail over your shoulder to pull you close

or he’ll pat your head with either his hand or tail when ever you do anything remotely impressive

“ooh, i’ve apparently taken 17k steps so far today, ojiro.” 

then he’d be like “that’s good” *pat pat* 

he also gets butterflies whenever you hug his arm or tail while he is talking to someone

AND HE WILL KISS YOUR WOUND BETTER IF YOU GET A PAPER CUT OR SUMN

Denki Kaminari 

bb is blushing profusely when you hand him a pikachu plushie , saying it reminded you of him

before that, he was probably a physical touch sorta guy but once he realised how awesome and special that simple action made him feel, he became a gift-giver 

however, 99.9% the gift is a plushie and the other 0.1% it’s a doll

(he literally bought a whole fkn barbie bc you owned a dress similar to the one the doll was wearing)

“it looks exactly like you!” 

“i don’t think so..” “it literally does!”

anyway, whether he is at the mall, in the town, in a gift shop or at the carnival, if he sees something that he knows you’d like or that reminds him of you, he’ll stop at nothing to get his hands on it

flashback to that one time at the carnival, there was a stall that had a huge fkn Kuromi plushie up for grabs 

so he asked the lady running the stall if he could have it and she said it was all his, if he could get a ball into the basket 3 times in a row

-- my man was sTANDING THERE DESPERATELY TRYING FOR 30 MINUTES STRAIGHT 😭

and once he figured he couldn’t do it on his own, he got the bakusquad to help him out 

(bakugo was all like ‘i’m not helping you, dumbass’ but kirishima convinces him to give it a shot and as soon as he misses on the third shot, he is livid.)

(”YOUR STUPID PARTY GAME MUST BE BROKEN, LADY!”)

anyway, after an hour of holding up the line, the lady just gave the plush to kaminari for ¥1000 

but it was all worth it after he saw how thrilled you were 🥺

he came round to your dorm one day and noticed every plushie he had ever given you, sitting on your bed 

you told him that they help you sleep and he just..died..

IT MADE HIM SO FKN HAPPY TO THINK THAT YOU TREASURE HIS GIFTS SO MUCH (≧▽≦*)

Eijirou Kirishima

his love language is words of affirmation imo but with a sprinkle of physical touch 

like whenever he sees you looking nice or sumn..he’ll just tell you

he has no shame and why should he? he’s just telling the truth

if you walk into the room looking ✨immaculate✨ he will tell you 

he’s just like ‘if nobody else is going to say it then I will.’

when your face lights up after he has just told you that you’re beautiful or that you’re one of the most likeable people he’s ever met; it makes his day every. single. time.

the sprinkle of physical touch is because he tells  you what he is thinking all the time

and he thinks you’re stunning even when you are lounging around the dorm complex in casual wear and no makeup

so he’s aware that he might’ve watered down his compliments a bit by saying them too often 

(even though he’s telling the truth every time)

so he likes to give you hugs and kisses to express his affection without  seeming like he’s buttering you up

Kouji Kouda

honestly, idek which category he falls under bc he does so many different things to show his love

like, he’ll use his quirk to get a butterfly to land on your head so you can take the perfect photo for instagram

he always holds your hand in crowded areas so y’all don’t lose each other

(he would end up crying in the corner of a Hot Topic or sumn if he couldn’t find you tbh)

he writes mini-love notes v. late at night and uses his quirk to get an insect or bird to carry it up to your room

religiously takes you out on dates to the park

or library/study dates (p≧w≦q)

Rikidou Satou

acts of service but mostly to do with baking

if his s/o doesn’t like sweet treats then..it just..can’t work

he’s very good at noticing when you are down and what he bakes depends on the severity of the situation

like, if you’re just a bit bummed because you got a bad mark on a test, he’ll bake cupcakes and leave a few outside your dorm

obvs accompanied by a cute lil note abt how proud you make him and how you’re the most diligent person he’s met so he knows that you’ll succeed if you just persevere

and as soon as you come to him with your improved mark, he’ll bake you a cake with ‘congratulations, (Y/N).’ written on it

Mezou Shouji

acts of service. but like..service service

he treats you like royalty-

he is the kind of bf to give you his jacket if you’re cold

he can and will use his quirk to form more arms just so he can hold your bags along with his own

if you enter is dorm and he doesn’t offer to take your jacket immediately then i’m sorry to inform you but that is not shouji..that is toga in disguise 

you’ll never have to open a door if you are walking next to him and don’t you dare even try to 

just an overall gentleman tbh 

sometimes you try to get him to stop being so kind bc you’re afraid ppl will think you treat him like a butler 

so he’ll be like “sure ..

i’ll hold just your gym bag rather than your gym bag and school bag.”

“don’t hold any bags, shouji..”

Kyouka Jirou

her love language is definitely quality time

there is nothing she loves more than vibing with you in her room - whether y’all are studying, cuddling, playing videos games or something else - while chill music plays in the background, either from a playlist or from her playing it herself on one of her instruments 

and sometimes when she’s feeling especially comfortable, she might hum a tune or sing some lyrics to match the mood

she asks you for suggestions for music to put on bc she loves introducing herself to new music

but when you’re concentrated,  she doesn’t want to disturb you so she just puts on a playlist she made prior 

she doesn’t create a new playlist each time you hang out but there is at least 10 new songs added to it every day 

the playlist is called ‘lazy days w/ (y/n) 💕’

anyway, she just loves hanging out with you bc you’re one of the very few people who don’t annoy tf out of her 

also - she’d never say it aloud but - she thinks you’ve got a very comforting presence and you make her feel so exhilarated whenever you laugh (´▽`ʃ���ƪ)

Hanta Sero

Sero loves spending as much time with you as possible - hence, he’s a quality time sorta person

but i also think he’s barely a quality time guy bc he expresses his affection in so many different ways

he’s like a mix of 4

( not gift-giving, whenever it comes time to get you gift for whatever occasion, he’s always stumped and ends up asking someone for help)

he preforms acts of service in a sense that if you are both cuddling on the couch and you are cold - even if he seriously can’t be assed to move - he’ll force himself to get up and bring you a blanket

he is really good at compliments bc he barely has a filter so if he sees you looking good, he’ll straight up tell you

plus, he loves seeing your reaction - especially when you get all flustered

and physical touch bc..cuddles :)

to him, there is just something reassuring about having you in his arms

Fumikage Tokoyami 

a quality time man mwah

he doesn’t play music on speakers when y’all hang out though, he just likes to sit with you and either mindlessly chatter or chill in comfortable silence 

he also doesn’t put in earbuds bc he thinks it’s rude 

(you assure him that you don’t mind if he puts his earbuds in but he is always like..no..)

he just loves your company bc he seriously can’t think of somebody he’d rather spend his time with 

also he is convinced that he does things 10 times better with you around

when he’s not with you though, he misses you- like- seriously

sometimes he’s just out with his friends or watching a movie with his family and he is just like ‘this’d be more fun if (Y/N) was here-’

and you said that you missed him too when y’all weren’t together 

so he did the reasonable thing and made you a playlist for you to listen to whenever you missed him ( •̀ ω •́ )

he sent you the link and your heart stopped bc it was literally called ‘i love you 🖤’ AND THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME HE’S EVER TOLD YOU THAT AAAAA

‘you’re so sweet, tokoyami 🥺 i love you tooooo’

and good thing that was over text bc otherwise you would’ve seen him blushing profusely (= ╯▽╰ = )

as for the contents of the playlist; it’s probably quite diverse

some alt pop, some indie, a bit of R&B, pop rock and a lot of Metal/Rock 

Shouto Todoroki

his love language is acts of service

most of them are school related though

he can easily tell if you’re struggling with the coursework and asks you if you want go on a lil study date at the library or in his dorm 

he also helps you with homework or explains the material to you if you don’t understand it

and he’s the best teacher since he’s extremely patient and well-spoken

if you’re feeling under the weather, he’ll head to your dorm to fetch your notebook so he can write the class notes for you 

and he’ll put in the effort to make them as similar to your other notes as he can

so he flicks through the pages and (for example) if you have a highlighting code, he’ll look for the legend and highlight the notes he took accordingly 

once school is over for the day, he goes to your dorm to drop off the notebook, putting it back in the respective part of your bag

and the next day when you open your notebook to check the notes, you notice that he wrote a little note for you;

‘get well soon 💛’ 

it was a simple, kind gesture but the small details like how he coloured in the heart with a glittery yellow highlighter he must’ve took from your bag had you blushing (^///^)

also, whenever you’ve scheduled a study date at his dorm, there is no way in hell you’ll walk into his room and there isn’t 2 bowls of fresh soba sitting on the desk

no way. impossible.

(or if you don’t like noodles, then two bowls of rice.) 

Tooru Hagakure

physical touch bb

she just likes you to know that she is there 

also she loves how soft your skin is ^^

she really likes surprise hugging you from behind and you’d think that she’d be very good at that considering that she is.. invisible.. but she’s really not

she has very unique and recognisable voice 

and whenever she creeps up behind you, she’s always snickering quite loudly 

but you like seeing her happy when she thinks she surprised you so you just think to yourself ‘get ready to pretend to be shocked’ 

so as soon as she wraps her arms around you and goes ‘boo!’, you jump and always say the same stupid line you wish you would   stop using but it just comes out naturally

“ope, didn’t see you there, tooru.”

but it makes her laugh every time so maybe it’s not such a bad habit

Katsuki Bakugo

he’s definitely a physical touch kinda guy but tries to be an acts of service man..y’know?

he doesn’t want you thinking that he likes hugging, cuddling, kisses or any of that none-sense bc..he is a big macho king explosion murder 

and he knows that if he gets to comfortable with showing affection through physical touch, it’d become a habit then he might do it in public and the last thing he wanted was a rumour coming out that ‘king explosion murder is actually a huge cuddle-bug dork!’

so he hides it the best he can and expresses his love by like letting you wear his hoodie and not cussing you out when you do something stupid

but the fact is, nothing makes him feel better than holding you in his arms - under a blanket or not -  with your face buried into his chest and your arm lazing draped over his shoulder

he usually does a good job at resisting his urge to randomly kiss you or take your hand in public

but there was that one time

luckily, it was on a date rather than on a school outing so it was only you who knows about it 

it was probably around 6 months after y’all first started dating and he took you on a date to the carnival

there was a gang of boys who looked around a few years older than y’all and they were chatting amongst themselves until they approached the line you and Bakugo were waiting in (to get onto a ride at the carnival) and the group of boys stood behind you in line

at first everything was alright; they were just chatting while you were raving on about the ride to bakugo but he kinda tuned you out after he heard one of the guys say something along the lines of

“she’s kinda hot- a bit young but so fit. i think she’s from the UA too.”

that comment was enough to make his blood boil but a separate comment from one of the other guys tipped him over the edge,

“yeah and look at the guy she’s with. he’s the feral guy that needed to be put in chains at the sports festival - how embarassing.” he snickered, which was genuinely one of the most annoying noises bakugo has ever heard

his voice was low, in a whisper so they probably didn’t expect bakugo to hear it over the background noise of the carnival along with the girl yapping in his ear

but he did

and when i tell you this man was livid 

in that moment he seriously considered just turning around and burning each and every one of those guys into a crisp

but the law-abiding citizen and hero inside him said no 

instead, he fiercely snaked his arms around your hips to pull you into his chest and looked over his shoulders to shoot literal daggers at the guys

he led you out of the line for the ride in silence and you followed him without question - having heard the things those guys said but choosing to pretend as if you didn’t 

“What was that about?” You finally asked as he brought you over to a bench, pulling you onto his lap

“Nothing.” He said, oddly calm as he stared into the void

“Okay.” You rolled your eyes, deciding not to pry as you obviously already knew what provoked him to do that. “I’m gonna go get some cotton candy then. Do you want some?”

“No.” He replied monotonously, allowing you to hop off his knee but immediately grabbing your hand, preventing you from going any farther than arms length from him.

“you needy cow.” you giggled, playfully kicking his shin, “I’m so hungry - let me go!” 

“No.” He replied in the same monotone voice. “I can’t be assed to move.”

You leaned back, pulling your whole weight backwards to try get Bakugo to release his grip on your hand and eventually he gave in and got up, sluggishly following you to go get cotton candy 

you gleefully popped some of the delectable fluff into your mouth before sneaking some into bakugo’s mouth too.

 “are you gonna let go of my hand any time soon?” you asked, wanting to hold the bag of cotton candy for yourself but instead having one hand interlocked with his and the other being used to rip small pieces off as Bakugo held the bag in his spare hand 

“No.”

[(a/n): not the over-used jealousy trope 🙊]

Izuku Midoriya 

definitely a words of affirmation kinda guy

bc he knows what it’s like to have to go through life with barely anyone besides your mother telling you that your great and that you’re worthy. it’s depressing and traumatic and he wouldn’t wish that misery on his worst enemy 

so he’s like your personal hypeman :)

making sure that you always feel appreciated, confident and loved 

during the sports festival or anything similar, he’s always louder than the cheerleaders when it comes to your turn to shine

“GO, (Y/N)! YOU’RE SO POWERFUL, YOU CAN DO THIS! I BELIEVE IN YOU! REMEMBER TO BREATHE!”

slightly embarrassing for him but when he sees you smile confidently back at him, every ounce of embarrassment melts away and he is just filled with joy

he gets really emotional sometimes as well 

but not like ‘you just faced an opponent and won bc one all your hard work and training - i am so proud of you’ sorta emotional

but like ‘omg you walked into his dorm wearing a new dress and you look really beautiful and you smiled at him so emotions wash over him and he just cries bc he realises how lucky he is to have you.’

he loves to receive words of admiration from you too though

one time you wrote him a birthday card and signed it off as ‘the future wife of the #1 pro-hero’

and as badly as you wanted to just sign it as ‘from the future pro-hero 😘’

you didn’t bc you knew how happy the other option would make him

Minoru Mineta

idk perversion ig?

wait no his love language is titties and/or ass

Momo Yaoyorozu

gift. giving. 

like you have no idea how much serotonin she gets when she sees you overjoyed at gift she gives you

bc in her mind she knows that it was her that made you that happy and no amount of trophies will ever compare to how accomplished she feels for being the reason behind your smile 

she’s a QUEEN 👑 UGH 😩💓

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

The most baffling part of WKM is that everyone trusts and adores Damien, despite him being the only one in politics and actively in office. Mark made the mayor character the most trusted and loved. How????

(uh oh, you unlocked my 'Love Damien' mode)

You came to the right person! This is a great question and I will gladly go on a rant to try and help shed a little light on this!

In short, it's exactly because of how you phrased your question. There's a politician. He's seen as nice and trusted and loved. It seems like something that shouldn't be, and you assume the worst of him because it has to be an act for whatever reason; and that is because of the general view of politicians at the moment. I'm not touching IRL topics with a ten foot pole, but I will say that at present, there is a sorta wariness/a 'they don't care about us' vibe toward politicians in certain countries (including my own). That's something that then seeps into media.

Think about it. If there's a politician in a show of any sort (especially one holding office), they're usually up to no good behind the scenes or are unreliable - just like how a librarian might be cranky, for instance - in a sort of caricature. Off the top of my head I can remember seeing... A mayor that wanted to evict an entire community to build a business something-or-other to make lots of money, a mayor who branded a local team of agents as non-trustworthy when they went against his pretty crummy views (which could be the same show tbh), an absolutely useless buffoon of a mayor who needed the help of children to constantly save his city from supervillains, and a politician (maybe a mayor?) who constantly clashed with the chief of police in a city. This isn't even considering the times a politician character (whether or not they hold office) is involved with criminals, bribery, is being blackmailed, or even has a criminal record of some sort.

Damien is an exception to this trope. It may or may not be completely intentional, but it's genius on Mark's part. You walk in, see this well-dressed man with a rather cheesy Mayor badge pinned on... And people would immediately get suspicious... Something which Mark called people out on at a panel! Don't forget, every character was framed in a way to give reason for them maybe being the killer. I watched WKM (and got vaguely into the fandom) a week after it finished, so I missed the speculation in between each episode. From what I've seen, it appeared that a lot of people were wary of Damien, though I'm not too sure if it's because they were like "IT'S JUST DARK IN DISGUISE DON'T BE FOOLED" or if it was because of his job and mannerisms. Either way, it turns out his worries were genuine, and he was innocent of any crime that night, which completely subverts the expectation of a politician in a show. He's a rare breed - someone that has good intentions and a good heart, who wasn't 'tainted' by politics in some way.... But ends up getting corrupted anyway through matters far beyond his control.

Not only that, there's two important points that I think people forget and I'll go into better detail of under the read-more because this is getting pretty long.

-

1. The character that is the viewer has known Damien since university. That means they've been friends minimum... Let's say five years, but probably closer to ten. You're going to be more at ease and more 'yourself' around people you are very fond of, and Damien's face lit up the moment he noticed the viewer arrived. Since the viewer would be going into this cold the first time it's viewed, they wouldn't feel that bond and might think Damien's friendliness is an act. 2. While he is the Mayor, he's not The Mayor at that moment. He's merely a Mayor by title alone. For the events of Who Killed Markiplier?, he's just Damien. It would be different if we had walked into his office, but we arrived at a party with people Damien was comfortable with. He had no need to impress anyone because they were friends. Remember, the reason the badge exists is to tell the viewer what Damien does. Otherwise he could be any sort of businessman or guy in a fancy suit, and the explain everything video states that everyone thought Mark got the suit for a wedding when he shared a photo.

(Both points are showcased nicely in the very first scene we meet Damien if you compare the way he talks to the Detective - someone he barely knew - to the viewer - who has been a friend since university. When talking to Abe, Damien stands poker straight (almost rigid) and rests his hands on his cane. One hand moves to emphasise something, but the rest of his body remains still. There's a polite, yet formal, air to him. Here, he is The Mayor. I'd bet they were having casual conversation on how they met Mark or some other generic topic to break the ice. Then the pair notice you and that conversation is instantly DROPPED. Damien immediately lifts his cane as his entire body turns to the viewer. That smile isn't one that's given out of politeness. He's now Damien. There's no need to put on an act when it's a familiar friend. He still stands straight, but his body language and facial expressions are far looser and more casual. Gestures are with both hands now. His expressions are more playful, including widening his eyes to emphasise his tease about the viewer's skill of poker. This continues until he walks off-screen where, I presume, he was going to say hello to William.)

We don't know the extent of how much anyone trusts anyone else, but one of the big exceptions is the Colonel. I know I've written a headcanon on a roleplay blog about this, but he didn't know you, so he was polite, but distant and aloof. He had no reason to even care about you. We saw a good example of William acting like this the morning after. HOWEVER, after spotting the viewer talking to Damien outside at the end of the first episode, he notices a connection. The moment he knows you are Damien's friend he opens up with no hesitation in the second episode and is rather friendly toward you from then on. He trusts you because he trusts Damien, which to me suggests that our Mayor keeps good company and has a good judge of character. Plus, no one really has a reason to think ill of Damien. He and William have an argument focused on William's reaction to Mark's death (and don't forget that Damien wanted to apologise but William kept running away), while Celine shuts him down for Damien trying to get her to reconsider her idea; but neither are motives for them to be suspicious of Damien. Chef and George are indifferent, while the Butler is probably indifferent but feels comfortable enough to make a drug joke with Damien in earshot (and Tyler's IC stream as Butler had it that he thought well of Damien, but this might not be considered canon). On the other hand, you could say that the Detective is wary of Damien, but he was suspicious of everyone between all the work he did and the warning he got from Mark, so it's not completely reliable.

Speaking of, I haven't forgotten about the Detective's study and how there's a record sheet for Damien with something scribbled out. Unfortunately, I don't think it's something we'll ever get clarification on. I double-checked the explanation stream and there wasn't any mention of what was on it... But I feel like I heard Mark say something like 'forget about what is there, focus on why it's there', or how it got there in the first place? Maybe it was for another project, but the idea is more that the Detective's work was built up over time, and not in the span of that weekend; rather than focusing on every little piece of writing that can be seen. Perhaps there is something shady in Damien's life... But since it wasn't relevant to the 'story' we were being shown, it was omitted. This could very well be where people take the idea of a corrupt politician and run with it (and I have seen some excellent roleplayers over the years work with that!), or they could be like me and say that the crimes were things he was framed for. Or maybe, as I'm writing this, it could be like how Abe had documents for things that didn't happen in WMLW, and that the crimes he scribbled out were ones that Dark would do later... But that's going into theorist territory and that's not at all relevant to what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I've rambled on waaay too much as it is. He's trusted and loved as a character because he's so human. Mark pointed out in the explanation stream that Damien was the only one to question what was going on. He was upset, mourning, and had no idea what to do. It's a vulnerability that you don't see from people often, especially if they are supposed to be leaders.

If there's anything people wanna add or point out, jump in and do so! :D

[ante--meridiem]

thanks for the eloquent humanities-STEM posts. i also saw The Post and couldn’t quite word why it ground my gears so much. having thought more it also bothers me how it conflates so many things. misogyny in STEM spaces is not a product of not taking humanities courses (???) and the anecdote recounted ironically happens to be a scenario i’ve encountered amongst philosophy majors too (sexism and all!), but as you said, my anecdote is also not data. the conflation of breaking down a hypothetical scenario for the hell of it with thinking that those hypothetical actions are practically okay is also weird. also like, minorities in stem exist. and i don’t know how they would defend their implied tenet of “you need to study concepts in college to Get Them” if it was presented to them outside of this particular argument. i hope this message was okay to send!

Appreciate you thinking it's eloquent :) (I assume you mean the expanded version and not the original; the original was an ineloquent expression of frustration that clearly missed some nuances going by the responses it's garnered and I probably wouldn't have left my clarifications in the tags + reblog if I'd known it would spread).

I do find it a bit ironic how much tumblr loves the "I don't know how to explain to you why you should care about people" meme then spreads a post implictly claiming humanities lecturers do know how to do that. (Funnily enough the original meme frustrates me too because it may be true but I am really not a fan of the concept of there being important things you either Get or Don't regardless of explanation offered; however me not being a fan of it doesn't change it. Still. Ironic.)

"I don't know how they would defend their implicit tenet of "you need to study concepts in college to Get Them" outside of this context" - yeah. That post is pretty clearly founded in a world where college is a basic level of essential education that everyone can be assumed to get, and not a place you go to deepen your understanding of a particular topic you decided you want to know to a level of specialisation beyond what the average person should ever need in their lives. And there is a place in the world for specialised ethicists; any engineering project shouldn't be one person working alone anyway, and it's probably good to have someone there trained to catch social issues others wouldn't - but that's on a "there's a subtle incentive problem/bias problem your proposal would create that you probably haven't seen" level not a "your proposal shouldn't be murder" level, you don't need training for the second. Specialised ethicists on engineering teams should really have a firm grounding in the engineering component too though so you don't get "this ai answered leading questions with the kind of philosophical ideas it found in text we fed it; clearly it's sentient and mistreated".

On sexism, tbh I can absolutely buy that stem classes are more sexist, not because they aren't taught not to be but because the gender ratio at least on the maths side of things is just ridiculously skewed, and a mostly-cis-male environment will probably be misogynistic. (Though my current course actually somehow has an almost even gender ratio - that's a far out exception though, never seen it before except at events deliberately angled at getting women into maths).

Anyway yes, of course this was OK to send, thank you for the ask.

[mirkwoodest]

@fishwantmewomenfearme

[TL;DR: Tbh there’s some iffy stuff in lotr and I won’t defend it, but that has nothing to do with his interest in languages, history, and folklore. Tolkien denounced white supremacy and antisemitism in 1938 when a German publishing house wanted to translate his book. I compared that to how Taylor Swift handled her own white-supremacist fans in 2009-2019.]

I'm not going to be the guy to stand up and say that Tolkien's works are totally free of racist and antisemitic undertones, because that would be incorrect (sad to say, but facts are facts). Still, I think that the fuck-off letter he wrote to a German publisher in 1983 when they asked him to provide documentation of his Aryan heritage puts him at LEAST one step above Taylor Swift, as low as that bar is.

Actually, that’s a pretty good comparison. Taylor Swift and Tolkien both have qualities that make white supremacists fawn over them. Taylor, because she’s an “Aryan queen” or whatever bullshit, and Tolkien because he, as you mentioned, is “into german history and language” and weaves a lot of northern European mythology into his works. So they both had/have white supremacist fans. How should one handle this? Tolkien wrote:

"I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject — which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride. Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung."

[emphasis mine]

This letter alone isn’t the kind of “hey FUCK off” I would have preferred, but it’s at least a comfort that Tolkien stated outright that he thought Aryan purity and anti-semitism was, at the very least, nonsense, and that the rise of white supremacy in Germany was making him actively lose pride in his German heritage. There is also documentation that he was less diplomatic in private, telling his publisher that he despised the Nazi “race-doctrine” and found it “wholly pernicious and unscientific.”

Comparatively, Swift posed with Swastika Guy in 2009. It almost immediately went public, but the only comment made was by her publicist, who only said that “She doesn't know who this guy is and she didn't realize what was on his shirt.” Swift then became an alt-right icon in 2016, and didn’t comment on that until 2019, when she finally said “white supremacy is repulsive” with her whole chest, but brushed off criticism that she should have said so 4-10 years earlier. (I'm bringing up Swift not to make Tolkien look better, but because she’s the first person I could think of who was in a similar situation of suddenly encountering white supremacist fans.)

Once again, that’s a LOW bar, but I think it’s important to discuss how a person’s interests and characteristics (an interest in germanic history/mythology/languages for Tolkien, aesthetically appealing to Nazi beauty ideals for Swift) are not in themselves inherently racist or an indication of racism, but they do attract racists, and how these figures should respond to that attention. (Quickly and with strong language, in my opinion, which neither Tolkien or Swift managed to do, although I personally believe Tolkien gets more credit for saying what he did in the pre-internet era and while there were out-and-proud nazi sympathizers in Engand before Britain went to war with Germany.)

Anyway, my intention here isn’t to shield Tolkien from all criticism, because it’s really important to be critical of racism and antisemitism even in the works we love. But I do have an issue with you throwing these tags up so casually in the notes of a post where I was simply talking about celebrating Tolkien’s use of Old English, Old Norse, and germanic words and names. If you start to draw a direct line between studying linguistics, history, and mythology to being a white supremacist, you should possibly pause and reflect.

Once again, there are elements in Tolkien’s works that can and should be criticized and analyzed for racism and antisemitism, but his playful use of language and his merit as an academic and linguist are not it. Thank you for engaging with my post, however. It’s given me a chance to offer people potentially new information and encouraged fans of Tolkien and the fantasy genre to look at these important but difficult topics with care.

If anyone takes issue with any of the above points, I am open to hearing them. My goal is not to fight, but to talk, listen, learn, and grow in understanding.

[leviathan-dee]

Okay how about a drabble where Vergil motivates his female s/o who is struggling to do her assignments? Can be sfw or nsfw depending on the suitability of the topic and I may or may not having this motivation problem 😂

Aii!! I’m so sorry this took so long 😓 Tbh, I saw nsfw and took this as an opportunity to get my simp train going. So here goes, a lil bit of...

°°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· 𝓢𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓮 °°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.·

Motivational Lessons

Vergil x Fem!Reader (NSFW)

Word Count: 1,613

Fumbling on an assignment that was due in less than a week was admittedly not how you wanted to spend your days off. You were surrounded by countless closed study books, dried out pens from their disuse, and an empty word document, a cursor blinking quizzically at your inactivity. It’s been almost three agonizing hours since you began your search for a drop of motivation. Alas, no such luck. Even the cup of tea that your partner brewed at the beginning of your session remained unmoved, the condensation on the mug dripping down to pool onto the blank papers.

You sighed, inadvertently drawing Vergil’s attention.

“You are troubled.” Without lifting his gaze from his beloved hardcover of poetry, he spoke, the comment blending between lines of a question and a statement. You sighed once more, carding your fingers through your hair.

“What gave you that idea?” Your slight burst of annoyance felt like whacking the hornet’s nest, however Vergil’s reply was more gentle and soft spoken than before.

“The lack of movement for the duration of your coursework. What gives, my sweet?”

“I just can’t get into the mindset. I think I’m too stressed with all that is going on.”

Snapping his book shut, he uncrossed his legs and tilted forward, directing his attention now completely to you. The pose he assumed was akin to a cat, ready to pounce on its prey. Perhaps you were imagining it, but the sudden mischievous glint in his eyes unnerved you just as much as his predatory pose.

“Perhaps you are in need of encouragement?”

“I’ll bite. What do you have in mind?” You swallowed thickly, anticipation building like a steady flow of water. Only time will tell if you would regret your words.

“Let me demonstrate.” Moving with a feline grace, his arm swayed in the opposite direction, guiding you to stand from your seat. Once you obeyed, he propped himself upon the cushioned surface, his stern expression morphing into a minuscule smirk.

“Sit,” he presented you his lap by patting his thigh, “you are tense. A prime reason as to why you simply cannot get anything done.”

With an incredulous expression, you gawked at the sudden change in his demeanour. Admittedly, it was a bad idea to disobey the devil, knowing your previous experiences containing punishments of the euphoric kind. You planted yourself comfortably upon his leg, feeling his arms securely tighten around your waist. His palms were warmer than usual. In fact, you noted that his gloves were off. Strange...

“Now focus on your assignment. Need I encourage you, I know exactly what to do.” The growl that rolled off his tongue caused a shiver to travel through every fiber of your being. A wickedness entirely indescribable churned deep within his gaze. It wasn’t often you experienced that; Vergil knew to reserve this part of him for special occasions.

Apparently, this was one such occasion.

The cursor continued blinking, it’s manner now seeming wary. You stared at it, wondering what words might flow from your already exhausted mind. There were so many jumbled thoughts. Some from the carnal closeness between you and your beloved, and very few were of the coursework itself. Vergil propped his chin upon your shoulder, breathing down your neck. Was this a warning? Or encouragement?

“Need I promote your thoughts? Or is your mind elsewhere?” As you expected, it was neither. This was a promise; an invitation. For both of your benefits.

You could feel a smirk ghost his lips, as his hands continued to rest on your waist possessively, their grip tightening to an almost uncomfortable pressure. Unsure of whether to begin your coursework, or to let fate take its course, your fingertips started their sluggish crawl across the keyboard. Vergil seemed to ease his grip, instead shifting to your right thigh, resting his warm palm on top of the plump surface. This made you suck in a breath between your teeth which only Vergil would notice. No matter how much you wanted him to simply have his way, this was a good opportunity to finish what you’ve started studying-wise.

… 

After two paragraphs of constant erasing and rewriting, you sighed, irked at your own scattered mind. Evidently, Vergil watched your entire tirade at the keyboard. It was almost as interesting as a tumultuous nineteenth century drama. Every few words, he hummed in approval, reading and checking your text. However, your gusto seemed to slow to an almost complete stop. You could feel his mischievous smile once again grace his visage.

Bringing his palm up to cradle your chin from behind, he directed your vision behind you, his own smoldering gaze melting you from the inside.

“Is that it? You’re giving up, my sweet?”

“No, I just need a break-” You were cut off by a feathery caress at your loin, promoting whatever feverish thoughts that waited on the cusp of your mind. Instinctually, you leaned into the touch like a starved animal. Vergil seemed to enjoy your reaction, knowing full well that only his fingertips can encourage such a visceral response from your body.

“A break, you say? Let me assist you,” he purred in your ear, heated breath only intensifying the sensation of his digits running circles achingly close to your clothed core.

You couldn’t withhold your lewd mewls, letting them cascade out of your lungs as Vergil’s teeth began sinking into your bare shoulder, followed by promises of ecstasy in the form of trailing kisses upon your skin. His hands teased at your waistband, slipping beneath the fabric to find his goal. Your own fingers searched for purchase, not to lose yourself entirely to this hedonism. They found their way to the blue devil’s hair behind you, and encouraged his tongue to trek along the flesh of your shoulder.

A maelstrom of pleasure spread through you as Vergil’s hand began lavishing your folds with longing strokes. The sheer playful movements of his digits were teasing, daring you to release your tension all over them, there and then. It was almost shameful how easily he could elicit such a reaction from your body. How he forced these noises from you, the pressures of assignment life fading away into nothingness.

Approving hums vibrated within Vergil’s chest, resonating against your back, provoking the throbs deep in your core. You moaned in turn, giving him the greenlight to plunge into your heat with two digits. Admittedly, you were now certain this was his plan all along, usually wearing fingerless gloves even outside of combat. Besides, he seemed too eager to get you in this state.

That sneaky devil.

Nevertheless, that motion was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Your walls tensed instinctually around his fingers as they shamelessly pumped in and out. Vergil knew exactly the spot to caress, seeing how your frame arched itself to accommodate his own. God, he loved seeing you in this state; At his mercy.

“Y/N. You will finish this assignment, as I will finish you. Is that clear?” The sovereign tone with which Vergil spoke alone could send you spiralling over the edge. You nodded eagerly, desperate to release the tide of pleasure rocking against your swollen walls.

Observing your lethargic demeanor, and your eyes glazed over with depravity, the devil decided to send you into paroxysms of pleasure by focusing two hands on your heat. With one swirling your bud, and the other continuing its rhythmic movements inside you, his smug visage in the now blacked out screensaver of the monitor observed your near undone state.

“How are you feeling? Relaxed yet? Encouraged to do your studies? I won’t have you failing. Not in this state.” To your surprise, Vergil's smirk never faltered. His tongue continued to play upon your shoulder and neck as you encouraged his efforts with your incoherent cries.

“Vergil-'' Your fragmented moans, and the bucking of your hips against his working hands only prompted him to intensify his tirade. He left you kicking helplessly, trying to find an object to perch against with your legs, and swing your hips in any direction if only to lessen the overstimulation. Blank papers landed to the ground, and pencils and pens alike tumbled from the force of your pleasured kicks against the furniture. Even the untouched tea spluttered all over the desk, staining amber upon the surface of the paper beneath. But you didn't have a care in the world; right now your focus was on the endless waves of gratification you were bestowed upon by the blue devil.

All of your previous worries seemed to melt away. Even the stress of creeping deadlines and sleepless nights dissipated into a mere sliver of a memory. Your rippling muscles beneath Vergil's hands eased, his own limbs holding you in place as you fell limp from exhaustion on his lap. With a tender trail of kisses along your neck, and the last one behind your ear, he hummed and coiled his arms around your waist to pull you into a warm hug. You hummed in return.

"Was that encouragement enough? Or do I have to resume this motivational lesson?" Vergil purred in your ear, a hint of playfulness meandering in his voice.

"Hmm, I am still feeling a bit tense." You rolled your shoulders to accentuate your 'discomfort', expecting Vergil to react accordingly. And react he did, his immense strength scooping you into his arms from behind, your body weighing a feather on his frame. With proud steps and a teasing expression, he marched towards your bedroom, a saccharine smirk dancing on his lips.

"I was hoping you'd say that. You'll be writing books once I'm done with you, my sweet."

[polin-erospsyche]

The prompt number 16 is quite interesting lol 16. “Control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.” Choose the ship/character you like :)

Hello! Ok, there are literally zero reasons as to why it took me a year to write this bloody thing except maybe that I had some not fun moments and also this literally never could have been written if I hadn’t waited this long. I don’t know if you’ll read it. You’ve probably forgotten about this in all fairness but if you do read it I hope you like it. 

Also taking this opportunity to thank everyone for following me. I’m at 400 followers! This is insane. I’m not sure why you’re all following tbh but to celebrate I forced myself to finish this long overdue fic, hope you like it! Also disclaimer: I love all of the characters from TLH. I am aware of the existing debate around Matthew and Alastair and my writing in here does not represent my point of view. But I I decided to represent Matthew and his view in this way for story telling purpose. Please don’t come at me with gun blazing. If you do wanna talk, we can, but in peace 😊💕

Somewhere Where Our Shadows Meet, It Feels Like Coming Home - 

a Fairdale one-shot (is that even their brotp name???) 

This was the fifth time James was rereading the passage of the book he had picked up. It was no use. Each time he finished the page he had already forgotten the beginning. His mind was foggy with a multitude of thoughts. Thoughts about Lucie and her strange dalliance with a boy who used to be a ghost, about Grace which inevitably led to unsolicited questions on his own identity, and, as much as he tried not to think about it, thoughts of Matthew and Cordelia. He really did not enjoy these last kinds of thoughts. He couldn’t help but imagine what kind of relationship could have blossomed between the two during their trip to Paris. He knew how Matthew felt, but when it came to Cordelia, he had no single clue. He constantly wondered as to whether she hated or loved him. Daring to hope that he hadn’t ruined everything. Just for that hope to vanish the next second because there was no possible way he did not ruin it. And even if ever decided to ask her, he would have no idea how to approach the topic without sounding like an arrogant bastard.  

James let out a long breath, rolling his shoulders, trying to let go of the tension. He was pretty sure that if he ventured to look at himself in the mirror that was hung above the chimney, he would see huge dark circles beneath his eyes. Circles which color could rival the color of London’s night sky. A result of many nights plagued by bad dreams and worry. During some of those sleepless nights, James had gone to Cordelia’s room. The first time it was under the pretext of looking for books. Her room had been full of her personal belongings. A bottle of perfume on her vanity table, an evening dress carefully laid out on the chaise longue, a copy of Majun and Layla on her bedside table. So many little pieces of who Cordelia was scattered in a room she had run away from. She hadn’t been back to Curzon street since that night. Upon arriving in London, she had decided to move back with her mother using the excuse of the soon-to-be new baby’s arrival. James kept going to her home though, eventually admitting to himself that he did so because of the smell of Jasmin that lingered. It was the closest thing he had to a semblance of her presence in the house. It was a soft smell that grounded him. It was also a heady smell that reminded him of the sweetness he had lost.

He shook himself out of thoughts of her. Something he had gotten quite good at to be fair, considering how many times he thought of her in the span of a day. Pushing himself up from the table he was leaning against, he closed the book he was reading, giving up on understanding it, and made his way to the window. Outside the sky was tinged in pastel colors drawing the day to a close. James would slowly make his way back home. He would rehash the day, come up with new plans to wake his sister from her deep sleep, find out that these plans would fail again come morning, and finally decide that he would need to eat a bite because going to bed with an empty stomach was just not advisable. His parents had offered for him to stay at the Institute with them but James had refused. He preferred the calm and silence of Curzon Street. He found that the bittersweet cloak that covered his house was, in some ways, almost reassuring. Maybe he was going insane. Just when he was ready to go bid his goodnight to his family, he heard the doors of the library open wide behind him and slammed shut again.

“Did you know?” Matthew growled. James might have thought that he himself had gone slightly deranged chasing down the smell of Jasmin throughout his home, but at least he did not look half as unhinged as Matthew looked right this instant. Matthew’s eyes were wide, his pupils dilated, and his fist clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white.

“Are you alright?” James asked, keeping an even tone.

“Did you know?”

“Know what?”

Matthew took a few strides in James’ direction. His stare holding James’ gaze in place as if daring James to contrary him. “Did you know about Thomas?”

“Um yes,” James nodded, a sly smile playing on his lips. “I do know Thomas.” At that Matthew narrowed his eyes and almost seemed as if he was trying hard not to grind his teeth. Noted. Attempts at humor and alleviating the situation were not going to work. “What about him?” James tried again. His smile replaced by a serious gaze.

“Did you know about Alastair?” Matthew asked, almost spatting out Alastair’s name.

James took a few steps back, reinstating the much-needed personal space for such a conversation. James did know about Alastair, but only because Thomas had looked so miserable and James had pried so insistently that Thomas had had no choice but to give up his well-kept secret. James had understood, sometimes you couldn’t choose who you fell in love with. Sometimes you fell in love with something that only you saw in the other person. Love was usually shrouded in mystery this way, best not to question how it worked. Obviously, by the look of things, Matthew did not agree.

“Please sit down,” James pointed to one of the green velvet armchairs. “I’ll pour you a drink.” James said, making his way to the stash of liquor in one of the dark wooden commodes. James had always wondered what kind of people, for what kind of situation kept alcohol in the library of all rooms. It always seemed to him that a secret stash of tea would have been more appropriate. Now he understood what kind of situation required people to put alcohol in every room, even if it was just one abandoned bottle of Parkmore. “Is Whiskey alright?” James turned his head in Matthew’s direction.

“So you knew?” Matthew answered, seemingly in a staring competition with the mustard yellow wallpaper in front of him. “He told you?”

Whiskey it would be for a total lack of all other present choices James thought as he started to pour a glass.

Matthew kept going on his verbal onslaught towards the wallpaper. In all fairness mustard yellow was a color that could potentially enrage everyone. “How can he? It’s Alastair that we are talking about. It’s not as if there wasn’t any other man in London that Thomas couldn’t have a fling for.”

James very much doubted that a fling could start to describe Thomas’s feelings for Alastair. However, seeing how Matthew was nearly spitting out every single one of his words, he thought it safer not to share this piece of information.

“Matthew, please calm down and control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.” James handed the glass to Matthew, which he waved away.

“No, thank you. I don’t drink.”

James squinted. “Since when?”

“Since Paris.”

James couldn’t help but feel a pinch in his chest at the mention of Paris. Paris city of lights, city of lovers. An escape his friend had taken with the only girl James had ever, truly, loved since he was barely old enough to understand the concept. It was a wondrous thing how much pain a single word could hold.

“What a strange place to decide to stop drinking.” James took a sip of the honey-colored liquid, trying to hide his hurt to the best of his ability.

“Cordelia asked me to. That was her condition for coming with me.”

James did not want to go in the general direction of a conversation that involved Cordelia. Especially not if that conversation was with Matthew. He had written a letter. James had understood. He slightly had the urge to strangle his best friend for going with her; for loving her; he did not quite know. But that was it. They hadn’t spoken of Paris nor of Cordelia together and that was for the best. Neutral conversations were for the best, they could avoid the hurt and the blame, and if James let it come to that again who knew what would be next. Yet he couldn’t help but ask.

“Why did you leave?”

Matthew turned to James, his anger receding ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” A beat, a choice to either keep going or retreat before it is too late. A beat, a choice to see where this could go “why did you go to Paris?”

“You owe me an answer first. Did you know about Alastair?”

“Yes.”  

“How could you not tell me?”

“You weren’t here Matthew.” James’ voice almost broke, almost. “How was I supposed to tell you anything?”

James had wanted to throw so much more at Matthew’s face. Throw words that he wouldn’t be able to take back. He had been feeling so alone. So utterly lost after Grace’s admission. After Cordelia’s departure. He had needed his best friend. He had wanted to tell him so much, to figure it all out with him. To have Matthew hold him at times when he didn’t know if he could hold it up together and tell him, simply, that he believed in him. But Matthew hadn’t been in London. He had been in Paris. Happy. With Cordelia.

“And you accept it?” Matthew asked, carefully studying James.

“I guess it depends on what we are talking about. In any case,” James turned away from the fireplace to look at his friend. “why are you so against it if it makes Thomas happy?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because Alastair doesn’t deserve to be loved?”

“Maybe it is more about deserving a second chance rather than deserving of love. Maybe it is about getting a chance to fix your mistakes. Surely no one is worthless of that.”

“Sometimes the mistakes are too big to fix.” Matthew shrugged, breaking eye contact.

“Is that why you ran away?” The question was asked so softly as if asked any louder and James would be terrified to see Matthew run away again. James wasn’t sure he could bear it, no matter how much frustration towards Matthew he still felt.  

“I didn’t run.” Matthew shook his head. His gaze far and distant as if in another land, in a shadow realm. “I took a train, there’s a difference. And I left because of Cordelia.”

James had an inkling he hadn’t left because of Cordelia but rather Cordelia had followed in a desperate pursuit to drown both of their sorrows in the glamour of a city like Paris. After all, Paris was so similar to Matthew, it was no wonder he had chosen it. At the surface, both were golden and shining like a polished jewel box. Once that jewel box was open, however, shadows, pain, and sadness would pour out like a damn breaking loose.

“I never thought you’d try to run away from me.” James knelt in front of Matthew, his knees landing on the soft midnight blue carpet. “That one day, I’d become a part of the shadows that you try to outrun.”

Matthew turned around so fast and reached for James’ face. His green eyes were darker than usual. “You’re not my shadows, Jamie Bach. You’re my home. You are the reason why I still believe I’m worth being forgiven for.” He said those words like a damned man dying for a confession, following blindly a faith he held so dear to his heart, hoping that that faith could be his saving grace. James understood that he had become that faith.

“Forgiven for what?” James asked.  

“I can’t tell you.”

“It’s me, Matthew. What is so bad that you cannot tell me?”

“I can’t tell you because I’m afraid. I need you to stay with me. I need you to believe that I am good, even if it means that you believe in a lie.”

“Matthew …”

“If you keep choosing me and believing in me,” Matthew interrupted. If he couldn’t finish now, he never would. “then maybe I can believe that I am no monster.”

“You are not a monster, you are my parabatai.”

James felt like they were back on that bridge, at night, so close to being let in in Matthew’s secrets. Back then James hadn’t been in control of himself, he hadn’t known what was happening to him. He had lost his chance. It would not happen again. It could not happen again. James was so tired of walking a frayed rope line with Matthew, guessing at hinted truths. Being someone’s constant north took work and time and effort but because it was Matthew, James could do it. He would always do it and he needed Matthew to know that as clearly as they both knew that one day would come when they would both cross the other side together. Because after all, that was what it had always been about. Despite shadows and lies and deceptions and miscommunication, they would always be together. So James continued.  

“Do you know what that means? It means that I made a promise to you. I said entreat me not to leave thee, for wither thou goest, I will go. If aught but death part thee and me. I will not leave. No matter what you’ve done, I will stand by you, because that is the choice that I have made. That I still make. There is not a thing in this world that you could have done that would make me stop loving you, calon fy enaid.”

Matthew looked up at James and teased “Does that mean that you accept my feelings for Cordelia?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I must say, I don’t think I’m her type. It’s a pity, really.” Some strands of Matthew’s hair fell in his eyes as he shook his head. James could see the old Matthew again. The carefree one that balanced out his own shadows so well. The one he would choose and forgive a thousand times over because he too was his home.

“Matthew.”

“All right, all right.” Matthew threw his hands up in a mock gesture of surrender. “I just … wish you could promise that I would not lose you.”

“I promise.”

“You can’t promise something you don’t know.” Matthew said before he started to talk about his own misbeliefs that had led to a terrible accident. James listened and did not judge and stayed long in the night after Matthew had said everything that had weighted so heavy on his heart for so long. And somewhere, under the warm light of oil lamps and next to a warm fire, the frayed rope between the two started to mend and James could only describe the feeling as one of coming home.  

Tag List: @lady-ofroses @clockworknights @the-axewielding-herondale @tess-the-dreamer @coloandreablog

Do let me know if you want to be on the tag list and I’ll happily add you! (I have a tag list now visibly, wild and mind-blown) I will try to post more now that my exams are somewhat done. Who am I kidding? There will always be more stuff to do XD

[heyitsyn]

Complicated

Shirabu x Reader

a/n: im not very familiar with shirabu on a spiritual level like i am w the other characters but ill try my best!! 

request:  okok haikyuu hcs: shirabu is reader’s childhood best friend and messed up their last game in middle school because he changed his setting style to accommodate ushijima,,, and reader, as the manager is very very pissed and they get into a huge fight,,, so once they get to stz they’re academic rivals, reader became the vbc manager just to spite him (oh yea they definitely still have crushes on each other but it’s hard with the current situation) only if it’s ok!! not a lot of ppl write for him :

this is kinda the best friends-to-rivals-to-friends again-to-lovers

requests open!!

lets get our inhalers bc this finna be a wild one luvs

so, basically,

you and him were actually childhood friends since he lived next door to you

lets say you met when you were 5 and you just stuck on to this slightly cold and dismissive boy who was the shy type

idk bout you but i actually like that type

ppl dont really understand how yall got along bc you were the extrovert and the laughing type of girl

he only stuck around bc you were actually a smart person who helped him occassionally w your organized notes

but he still appreciates your time and efforts to be his friend despite his personality

plus, you also liked volleyball and together you both would watch volleyball matches in his house where you would see him with a smile that he unconsciously wears

like when yall were 8, you gave him a volleyball for his birthday since he lost his old one when he was playing by the river

at first, he was like, ‘oh, thanks, i needed this’

but then as he started tossing it up and down, you could see that bashful smile starting to surface

you shrieked, 

bc you rarely see it and you think its super cute,

and just wrap him up in a hug and he turns all shy again but with a soft smile and a soft blush

‘thanks, n/n-chan’

uh oh, feelings

stinky

since he mainly focused on doing homework or studying, not a whole lot of kids really approached him to hang out since they thought he only lived to study and play volleyball

but you didnt care bc youve been friends w this bun for a long time and you know hes not really like that

he has fun moments too

since you were the manager of the volleyball team, you always try to showcase how fun he was by trying to take the team to bonding places 

the team does think that shirabu has fun but only if its w you

anyways

one afternoon, you naturally just go to his house w him since your mothers know youre practically best friends and so you basically live in each others houses

yall were about halfway through middle school so shirabu has been studying more to get scholarships for schools

he was studying on the little table while leaning against his bed while you were just lounging on his bed after studying

‘ken-channnnn’

oikawa 2.0

‘hm’

you pouted at the distracted reply before sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind him and placing your chin on his shoulder

‘lets do something fun!!!! im boredddd’

he wasnt really fazed by the skinship bc youve been like that to him since day 1

but thats going to change soon

‘i have a new sudoku book over there that you could do’

omg what

‘ken-chan!’

you shrieked in betrayal before leaping off the bed and grabbing his arm to stand him up

shirabu was actually annoyed that you were distracting his studying but seeing a wide grin on your face made him double stop

am i,,,, catching feelings?

nah, he just going through puberty

‘lets go to the fall market! yuki-chan told me theres a new food place that opened and theyre handing out free samples!’

you excitedly told him and continued shaking his arm to persuade him in going

‘n/n-chan, this is my only free day from volleyball to study. i need to pass the test on friday’

you rolled your eyes at that lame excuse

‘i know. i set up the schedule differently bc you have a big test on friday! but you would still have time to study!’

‘but im still unfamilair with the topic-’

‘cmon, ken-chan! youre so smart you could rival buddha!’

‘i dont think,,,,, thats a right comparison’

‘either way, we’re going to hang out and have fun!’

he honestly didnt know why he was at this crowded market w you

shirabu is a whole simp

‘omg ken-chan! look! takoyaki!’

you dragged him to the stall and the nice old lady smiled before taking your order

‘1 box please. ken-chan, you want?’

he shook his head no and started taking out his wallet to pay

but you stopped him

‘no, you dont have to pay since youre not eating’

‘but i want to’

‘ken-chan! you need to save up for college!’

‘no its fine im pay-’

‘here ya go, dear. free of charge’

you both stopped at the nice lady’s sentence

‘b-but’

‘no it’s okay. its cute to find a boy who’s willing to pay for his girl since that doesnt really happen nowadays. i hope you have a great rest of your date!’

‘it’s not a da-’

‘thank you, maam’

shirabu takes the box and leads you out of there

you smirk and poke his tummy

‘you want to go on a date with me, ken-chan~?’

he turns red and looks away

‘no. it wouldve taken longer to fully explain the situation so just go along with it to make it faster’

you giggled

‘hm sounds fake but okay’

you both continue to walk around the market and even buy a few things like a mini buddha statue or a pair of cat ears for both of you

with everything you bought, shirabu payed with it all

you were pouting as you walked and he noticed so he nudged you with his elbow

‘oi, what’s wrong?’

you crossed your arms

‘hm.. i dont like that ken-chan is buying and spending money for me on things that symbolize our fun. i want to give ken-chan something to remember this day too!’

shirabu grows flustered but hes really confused

youve always been a thoughtful person who tries to be independent but unconsciously ends up depending on others like him

but your thoughts of wanting to do something in return for him just sounds like heaven right now

lmao what a simp

he looks around for a place that could have something that sparked his interest but nothing caught his eye

until he caught a photo booth by the corner

‘oi, n/n-chan, let’s go there’

you followed his finger and you gasped

‘thats perfect, ken-chan! let’s go!’

you drag him to the booth and you giddily enter the coins for the machine to start

but he was starting to think this wasnt a good idea

he was in a cramp space with you pressed against him

but youve always been glomped to his side since yall were kids so what was the difference now?

bc you catching feelings, fool!

‘ken-chan! its starting!’

he finally snaps out of his flustered state and he raises a peace sign with a smile

with all the pictures, there were funny pictures of you and him,

well mainly you

but he was happy to have them w you

‘ken-chan, you know i love you, but when will you fix your hair?’

he glared at you

‘i like it so its staying that way’

you giggled at his attitude

‘okay, ken-chan. at least it would make you stand out in the crowd so i dont have to look for you!’

you hugged his waist and he froze up, suddenly feeling awkward with this familiar position

its okay, shes naturally like this so calm down

dontcrydontcrydontcrydontcry

after your hang out, he didnt even bother going back to studying

he just laid on his bed, looking at the strip of pictures with a fond smile

he was happy that you only showed that true, bright, happy grin to him

it was only for him

and he only showed his to you

bc you were you and you were the greatest thing, next to his parents, that he has in his life

omg that thought

he freezes and the picture falls on his face at that realization

omg, does he like you?

youre a great friend and his best friend and he wants to be your friend forever

but then, he realizes

youd separate one day and youd have a boyfriend and get married and have a family without him

no, he wasnt going to let that happen

he didnt like that thought

and thus, began his crush for you

and you were the same thing too but you noticed it later than him

oof, when this one girl confessed to him at the back of the school, you cried to him when yall got home

‘when ken-chan has a girlfriend, he wont hang out with me anymore! hes not going to be my friend anymore!’

it took some reassurance from him and more from your mom, when you got home, to realize that you liked your best friend

and thus began the skinny love stage

the whole volley team knew of your pining and tbh, they thought yall were dating but you were just like, nah, we friends

if anyone were to look at you, they would think the same thing

but ofc, yall are insecure hormonal teenagers who think that the other doesnt like them and if they confess, they would be rejected and that would ruin their friendship and they would not be friends anymore and they dont think they could handle that so its better to keep the feelings hidden and remain friends bc if theyre happy, theyre happy

oml my entire love life

this continued on until the last year of middle school

bc not only do you suddenly stop being friends, you became rivals

so as volleyball manager, you helped the team with whatever they needed in return of them doing their absolute best and winning the game

the last game of the year, you were slightly confused at the way shirabu was playing bc it wasnt the normal way he sets

before, his sets were so good that he could give it to any player and they would spike perfectly

but now, it was so different due to the simple, almost lazy, and very high tosses

the team was slightly irritated bc they couldnt keep up with the high tosses so they couldnt hit it

in between the sets, during break, you pulled him aside as you wiped off his sweat

‘ken-chan, youre not setting properly to the others. theyre getting angry because it doesnt allow them to spike right.’

he glares at you, with almost manic eyes

‘its their fault for not being able to jump high enough. in order to get a point, the ace must get a high toss to aim a quick spike’

‘but theyre not able to jump that high, ken-chan!’

you whispered, worried that he was going too intense and they would lose the game

all the hard-work the others put in, all to waste

‘i dont care. i must start early and change early so ushijima could hit my sets in the future’

‘but they’re not ushijima, kenjiro!’

you whisper-yelled

‘right now, theres no ushijima, no oikawa, its just you and the team. your team’

he was shook that you used his first name and the way you were actually telling him off

youve never been like that before

but he was blinded by his goal in the future

‘why is he our ace if he couldnt even hit tosses meant for an ace?’

‘because hes not the ace you’re hoping him to be!’

‘kenjiro, listen to me, these boys have worked their asses off for years to even come close to playing against seijoh or shiratorizawa. im going to do everything i can to make that happen and im not going to let them lose just bc you are too busy focusing on the future rather than the present’

with the way he looked at you, you really thought he would listen to you and play the way his team needs him to play

but no, he played the way he thought ushijima needed him to play

in the end, due to the foreign and unfamiliar tosses, they were unable to hit as much points causing them to lose

you could never forget the looks on your fellow classmates, who were also going to graduate this year, as they watched the ball that shirabu tossed, hit the floor right next to them

to say you were pissed was an understatement

you were F U R I O U S ™

you held the hands of the first years as they were devastated at their first loss

but you caught the eye of your ‘friend’ and he was biting his lip in irritation and anger

as your team was walking to their locker room to get changed, you pulled shirabu aside

‘what the hell’

he stared at you

‘we lost. we lost bc they couldnt keep up’

‘kenjiro! are you not listening to yourself?! you lost because you couldnt accept the fact that your teammates arent ushijima wakatoshi! you couldnt accept the fact that they’re not tall enough! strong enough! ace-like enough! and for what?! for the future?! the future where you’re going to set for someone like ushijima?!’

‘i vowed to set for a player like him, y/n! i want to toss a ball to someone as powerful and as talented as him! thats a promise i intend to keep’

you were dumbfounded 

he was acting on his own reasons and selfish intent, even costing them a game, for his preparation in the future

‘i cannot believe you right now. i didnt know you were so selfish, shirabu. of all the years i knew you, you were never like this. so what changed?’

at the almost betrayed look on your face hurt him bc weren’t you always there to help him? to support him? wasnt that the reason you became a manager in the first place? 

‘you dont understand, y/n. i need to change the way i play now because it will greatly benefit me in the future’

honestly, you didnt even know why you were so angry about this

sure, it was volleyball and it was just a game

you had high school to win it again

but maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t being the shirabu you knew

the ken-chan you grew up with and harbored feelings for for years

he was turning to someone that worked not for himself, but for some guy he has never even spoken to

you blinked away the tears and looked off the side, away from his face

‘right. the future. yanno, if youre already like this, i dread to think about how you would act once you get that goal of yours. but i know one thing. im not going to be there to see it happen’

god that last sentence

he felt a piece of his world crumble bc were you saying goodbye? were you leaving him?

‘i cant see you torture yourself into changing into a new person, kenjiro. so good luck finding someone who can’

‘oh yea? well, i dont need you! i’ll be perfectly fine on my own and find someone better than you! youre easily replacable!’

that was a big booboo love

that fight costed him more than a decade of friendship and a few years of love

despite living so closely together, you refused to even acknowledge him and when your parents got together, you’d find some way to be out ofthe house or you’d lock yourself in your room

he tried many times to get to you and even cried to you, begging to not leave him

but you willed strong and you left him alone

omg she handled this so bad and i cant w puberting teenagers

eventually, he got tired of chasing you and was now angry at you for picking a team of people youve only met for a few years over him who’s been there for you since you were 5

he was betrayed, cold, and sad

however,

without each other to be there, you both studied even harder and eventually, you were both able to get into shiratorizawa

initially, you wanted nothing to do w that school since you knew kenjiro was going to be in it and that bastard ushijima wakatoshi was too

um,,, babygurl ushi did nothing to you

but your mother really wanted you to go to a nice school since she wanted you to go to a nice college

since yall werent friends anymore, he didnt know you wouldn’t be in shiratorizawa

so imagine his surprise when he saw you entering his class with the girls uniform on and a completely new hairstyle and hair color and were you wearing makeup?!

lmao she acting like they broke up

anyways, all he knows, is that boys were already looking at you and vying for attention and dear god, he didnt know how to handle that

for the first month of school, youd think you would just be ignoring each other like you did back in middle school

but nope!

somehow, yall were now talking again!

except it was a mean type of talking

you see, shirabu studied as much as he breathed and you were just a naturally smart sister who didnt study as much

but you still were able to make it to the top and currently, you were the 1st in your entire class

‘ara ara? 1st again? better luck next time, shirabu-kun~’

he glared at you from his seat as you passed by with a smug grin

this fueding is giving me vertigo

‘shut up. at least some of us work for our grades’

that was so weak lmao

but you turned around to blink your eyelashes, slightly mocking him

‘eh? are you saying that i’m naturally gifted? yanno, shirabu-kun, naturally gifted people are much better than those who have to work for it. you play with ushijima-senpai, right? so you’d know the difference between you two.’

bringing up ushijima always pained him but he kept repeating it to himself that he was doing it so that he could go to nationals

sensing his silence as defeat, you waved your hand and went back to conversing w your other friends

this continued on again for a while and he was already sick and tired of it

not only was it beginning to get annoying, it was beginning to hurt

he cornered you at your locker

aaaaa kabedon!!!!!!!

‘listen to me and listen well, y/n’

yessir im listening

‘whatever the hell youre doing, cut it out. youre not going to rile me up anymore and im not going to give you the reactions you want. i dont understand why youre doing this to me but you need to stop before i make you’

ohgodyessir

ngl, that tone of his voice was the lowest youve heard and it made you so red bc that was just hot

but you gulped before grinning wolfishly, hand pressed against his chest and the other snaking around his neck

you pulled him down to your level so you could lean close to his ear

‘now you listen to me and listen well, ken-chan, youre not my best friend anymore so you can no longer tell me what to do, kay?’

shirabu was just flustered at the close proximity between your lips and his ears that he completely missed your warning

he only snapped out of it when you walked away, heading towards your next class

you sat in class that day, wondering how to tease him more

clearly, just words wouldnt make him irritated

gurl why you doing this

and you were stumped until you saw a red-haired looking guy accompanied by a gray-haired looking guy coming up to you

ofc you recognized them from the volley team since you’ve,,,,,,maybe seen a few practices

you thought theyd just pass by but they stopped in front of you and you looked up w wide eyes

‘can,,,, i help you?’

‘wow shes cute!’

the red head shouted and you shrunk under the gazes of these tall men

‘sorry about him. im semi eita, second year’

you shook his hand and you introduced yourself before soon finding out this other guy was tendo satori

‘so what do you need me for?’

‘you see, we’re kinda in need of a manager. and i think its better to have a manager who is close to a player in the team. i apologize to say this but i saw you and shirabu-san by the lockers the other day and i think its best to have his girlfriend as our manager’

‘g-girlfriend?!’

you shrieked, shocked that they thought you were

at this mention, you got a flashback from the festival and you soon turned bright red at the label of you being kenjiro’s girlfriend

‘and youre so cute y/n-chan! i can see what our darling kouhai sees in you!’

‘no, you got it all wrong its-’

then you stopped

omg this was the perfect opportunity

no gurl stop jesus take the wheel

shirabu would hate it if you were a manager bc that would give you more room to tease him

holy

then you smiled

‘i accept, senpais. i want to see my baby in action after all’

they were ecstatic since it was a hassle to find a manager who wasnt infatuated w ushijima

you exchanged contacts and soon, you were brought to meet the team

oh boy when kenjiro saw you at the door, he dropped the ball on his head

what in the hell were you doing here

‘guys, this is our new manager!’

you peeked out from tendo and waved at them

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, first year. and im glad to be your manager’

noticing shirabu’s shocked form, tendo and semi shared a look and interpreted as, hes so happy that his senpais chose his girlfriend for him so now he could show off and play better and that could hopefully turn his attitude to be more grateful and respectful rather than this dismissive and disrespectful behavior

but shirabu was dying inside

oh god, youre totally going to tease him during practice and hes not going to be at his best and hes not going to be able to prove himself to ushijima

‘oi! shirabu-kun! come be grateful to your senpais for letting your darling girlfriend as our manager!’

‘hey baby!’

omg, what

again, you have a loud and expressive personality so you were kinda shameless so you just ran up and hugged him

aaaaa this is so embarassing wth

‘didnt you miss me? oh, youre so cute!’

god, he knows youre only here to spite him

right on point, good sir

ugh you were practically teasing him as the manager and you were having so much fun making him all flustered

but he was also spiteful 

sometimes, he would stick his foot out whenever youd run towards a player and hed laugh at you embarassing yourself in front of them

youd return the favor by accidentally throwing his water bottle at his face

‘oh, gomen, ken-chan’

the entire time, the team was baffled to see the usual stoic and dismissive shirabu so freely laughing and actually teasing you

they think its just for good fun and not the aim of hurting each other since yall are dating and youre just flirting

combined w being academic rivals and now rivals during the team, you both were unintentionally becoming close again

the brutality was slowly simmering to a low heat

and turn the over on at 350 degrees

now, it was just to make each other flustered

the crush that you thought was gone, was slowly digging itself out like the zombies in plants vs zombies

and my god you were annoyed

from now on, you were nothing but rivals and a parasite on his side

him feeling the same

dating would cause too much and the hurtful words would eventually come back up and you concluded that you were just too different

you didnt conclude shit

one time, the team was walking from practice to a nearby convenience store to pick up food

ofc you were picking out a billion foods and you just shoved them all to his arms

‘my darling boyfriend would pay for it because he loves me. ya know what they say, make his pockets hurt’

he glared at you 

‘as far as i remember, i wasnt dating a pig’

ngl, that hurt a little bc hes calling you a fattie

but he still went up to pay for it and you intentionally bumped him with your hips to annoy him but it caused him to drop his wallet to fall

and out came his money and that picture

the picture from nearly 3 years ago

you bent down to pick it up before he could even move 

god, yall were so happy and young back then

it was awkward silent since you didnt give it back and yall walked out of the store and the team was sensing the weird vibe around you two

‘oi, what happened? its so tense!’

‘did you fight?’

‘did you get caught making out by the aisles?’

‘ong shut up, kai!’

yall kai is a third year senpai that i completely made up since we dont get insight on the senpais before ushijima

but the team noticed the weird aura around you two and decided to walk away to give yall some space

‘can-will you hand it over now?’

shirabu mumbled

you nodded and pushed it in his hands

‘why,,,, why do you still have it?’

‘you gave it to me. of course id still have it’

you were silent before coughing

‘can we talk?’

‘its about time we do’

yall walked away from the team towards your home but were taking weird turns and corners to prolong the walk

you looked up to see him and you laughed

‘this is ridiculous. its not fair’

‘what are you talking about?’

he whispered

‘i was so angry at you for saying that you dont need me and that you could easily find someone better because i knew that and i didnt like it. but i was so hurt that it came from your mouth. out of everyone, i would rather die than hear you say that to me. i think thats why ive been like this. i dont know, im being stupid. i was being stupid.’

he stopped walking and clenched his fist while glaring at the ground

‘you told me you were going to leave me. you were telling me that you wouldnt be friends with me anymore. i had to choose between you or volleyball and i wasnt at the right state of mind at that time so i chose incorrectly’

you noticed him not beside you anymore so you went behind him to rest your forehead on his back so he would see you since he preferred to be honest while not looking at you

‘ken-chan, we messed up big time, didnt we?’

his body shook as he laughed

‘i guess we did’

‘it was only over a game. i was so mean and dramatic and ive called you names and said bad stuff about you and im sorry’

‘im not innocent either. i said those words to you and im sorry’

despite slightly making up now, you both knew those feelings would have to wait because you were only getting each other back

‘can we start over, ken-chan?’

‘you want to?’

‘yes’

‘then we will’

omg the whiplash this is giving me

so yall are finally becoming friends and your families are relieved yall made up again bc wowza those dinners were torturous

‘now that they made up, we can go back to planning their wedding’

‘MOM NO!’

slowly but surely, everything has been going steady and your friendship was getting better

but you didnt admit to the club about everything bc again, shirabu was like, ‘i dont feel like explaining everything’

you both still kept a rivalry but it was friendly this time with cute wagers like treat me to milk bread or banana milk

tOOrU oIKaWA’s fAvoRiTE fOod iS MiLK bREaD

he came over often and studied w you and yall would end up actually just watching a movie or watching brain games, unconsciously cuddled up on the couch

however,

this new closeness was doing damage to your heart bc you were again reminded of how much you liked this boy

initially, you thought it would just go away and never be seen again but it said

sIKe biH!

every time you saw him, youd unconsciously sweep away a stray hair and fix it to his weird crooked style

but whenever you do that, shirabu would get a close view of your face and omg you were freaking beautiful

and thats saying something from a guy who saw you through your awkward phase

hes unconsciously touching you more and showing more affection, even more than when yall were young

just being w you was emotionally exhausting as he holds himself back from doing drastic things but he was over it

he was done with all the years of pining for you so finally found the balls to do something about it

you were over at his place to study for exams and he was coming back up with juice

you were slumped over your calculus textbook with your hair in a bun and glasses on wearing his clothes

god theyre practically dating already

‘ken-chan, come help me with this’

he nods and goes to sit behind you

with his tall height, he was able to look over your shoulder and place his chin on it and tbh, you were so frustrated w the problem you didnt care about the closeness

‘you misplaced a decimal so everything got all wrong’

he mumbled

you gasped and made a noise of agreement before changing your answer

he didnt move though, instead wrapping his arms around yourwaist

‘oi, n/n’

‘hm’

this is a familiar scene

‘wanna go to the market tomorrow?’

at the mention of the market you stopped and leaned back

oh god your heart leapt at the feeling of his chest behind you but you composed quickly

‘should we?’

you turned to gauge his reaction at your closeness but he gently smiled

‘yea’

‘okay’

you havent been back to the market together since that day and it was so nostalgic as you both did the things you did back then

from the takoyaki to the stalls

it was so fun

but your heart was beating so fast

his smiling face and thoroughly enjoyed face was doing palpations in your heart

you looked away to stop staring at him and found the photo booth

‘look, ken-chan! the photo booth!’

he chuckled at the thought

‘should we go get another one?’

‘yes! come on!’

you quickly inserted the money and shirabu had flashbacks

but this time it was going to be different

‘okay lets start!’

the first picture, it was a peace sign

the second one was a wacky one

but the next one, was different

‘oi y/n’

‘what?’

the shutter went off just in time of him kissing you

the bright light caused you to close your eyes and you soon forgot what was happening

all you knew you were kissing ken-chan

your best friend

turned enemy

turned friend again

and now,,, were you lovers?

this rollercoaster is quite loopy

he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours

‘im sorry if-’

‘no balls, do it again’

and this time you lunged back for another

and again, this time, not only did you give him another photo, but you also gave him your heart

la fin.

yall what did i just write

[ineffablefool]

Hi!

Love your work and your page and just you on general.

I'm having some inner turmoily feelings lately.

I am fat, I know this isnt a bad thing and that I'm not a bad person for this.

I also know it Is not unattractive nor am i unattractive for it.

I argue with fatphobes, educate on fatphobia, spread body positivity as much as possible.

I need to lose *some* weight. I am starting to have pain in my feet, knees, I have trouble bending and kneeling for my job. I get extremely hot and humid in the summer heats and it gets miserable.

I want to/need to lose *some* weight.

But it makes me feel like by doing so I'll be eating any of the good words/things I've spread about body positivity and weight.

My spouse is wanting us to do a weight loss shake/regime again that we did it previously (and it worked until we stopped using it).

It would work great but it feeds into the diet industry stuff I hate.

I just feel so mixed up about all of it and I know you're safe.

Hope you're doing well darling.

First of all, here are some hearts. 💜💜💜💜

Second of all... thank you for trusting me to be safe. It makes sense to me that you feel mixed up about this, because you have competing messages/priorities coming from different sides. There isn't any perfect answer, I don't think, because this universe has a number of design flaws. But I can throw another perspective in and see whether that can provide a little clarity.  (While doing my best to keep being safe, because that’s more of a constant action than an achieved quality.)

I honestly take a lot of the fat-positive stuff I say on here from Ragen Chastain's blog -- I don't read it regularly anymore because at some point I stopped almost all my regular readings at once, but I checked just now and she's still blogging. It can be a hard read sometimes, because it'll tell you about instances of public fatphobia that you had previously been blissfully unaware of, but it's also crammed full o'resources. And there are topics which she comes back to repeatedly, because it's become relevant again or there's new information or just because it's been a while and there will be new people who haven't seen it yet; and one of those repeats is the question of whether any given health concern or bodily discomfort needs to be solved with weight loss.

When thin people have painful joints, they can seek physical therapy. The secret is that PT works for fat people, too. Thin people might have difficulty standing or walking for too long, and need to exercise to increase muscle or physical endurance -- and that works for fat people, too. Thin people can find ways to increase their flexibility through things like yoga, and... ...well. There is a pattern here.

A weight-first health paradigm, only for fat people, can convince us that all those other tools just... don't exist. Alternately, maybe they're just not for us, not until we can turn ourselves from fat people to thin people... except something like a half-century of science says there is no reliable safe way to make that thing happen. (Also, they had damn well better be for us too, because I don't think I need to explain how disgusting it is to withhold entire classes of medical intervention from one statistically-speaking-immutable demographic group but give it freely to a contrasting demographic.)

Which doesn't mean I'm telling you that physical therapy or yoga or a gentle program of endurance-increasing activities will solve all your problems. I want to make sure they're in your toolkit, though. Maybe someone took out all your hammers and replaced them with screwdrivers. Well, here's some hammers back. Can you just decide to use a screwdriver anyway? Sure you can. Whatever's the right tool for the job.

(Tbh I don't know what to do about the heat. I am a baby about heat. If it's more than about 70 degrees I start complaining.)

As for the shake regime... it doesn’t surprise me that it worked while you were on it.  Replace enough actual nutritious food with whatever-the-hell those are made of, and you can probably do all sorts of exciting things to your body.  But like you said, it works until you stop using it, and once you go back to actual food (y’know, what's generally considered best when it's local, farm-to-table, fresh, minimally processed, all the stuff that’s apparently just great for thin people but we fat people need to consume nothing but diet shakes and super-processed prepackaged dinners because Health)... well, then it stops working.

There’s also the drum I just keep on beatin’, which is that sustained significant weight loss, statistically speaking, is not possible.  There are many, many scientific studies whose data shows that you are just as likely (sometimes more likely, depending on the study) to end up fatter than when you started.  So if the goal is “weigh less”, then, again statistically speaking, intentional weight loss attempts will not result in success.  (Don’t go by the study’s conclusion, go by the results.  It’d take me forever to find it, but there was a study where the data-driven results section backed up exactly what I’m saying, but in the unsourced conclusion section, they still wrote that they recommend attempted intentional weight loss.  Science(TM)!)

If your spouse is the type to be swayed by an appeal to logic, then you could do worse than to start here.  It’s a plain-language summation of various research, including two specific studies referenced at the bottom.  One of those studies is a huge synthesis of, if I am counting correctly, over three hundred different papers (the other is also a synthesis but I didn’t count references there).  Just to steal half of one paragraph from the synthesis study,

At the individual level, many weight loss studies demonstrate short-term success at reducing weight. However, critics argue that such studies generally suffer from a range of methodological problems including small sample sizes, underrepresentation of men, limited generalizability, a lack of blinded ascertainment of the outcome, a lack of data on adherence to assigned diets, and a large loss to follow-up (Simons-Morton, Obarzanek, & Cutler, 2006). Furthermore, critics argue that most weight loss trials do not have long-term follow-up, and so the results over the subsequent 2 to 5 years, when weight gain is most likely to occur, are largely unreported (Robison & Carrier, 2004). Where these results have been reported, weight loss programs have a long-term (2 to 5 years) failure rate of up to 95% (Gaesser, 2000; Mann et al., 2007). Weight loss is not only almost impossible for most people to maintain, but attempted weight loss strongly predicts weight gain (Lowe et al., 2006; Neumark-Sztainer, Wall, Story, & Standish, 2012; Pankevich, Teegarden, Hedin, Jensen, & Bale, 2010; Pietilainen, Saarni, Kaprio, & Rissanen, 2012; Stice, Presnell, Shaw, & Rohde, 2005). Between one third and two thirds of people who lose a substantial amount of weight on a dietary-based weight loss program will regain all the lost weight and more within 5 years (Mann et al., 2007)

The two of you can absolutely try this regime again, or another one.  It might be that this time, you are among the lucky few for whom it works -- because yes, in rare cases, intentional weight loss attempts do work.  They mostly don’t, though.  And you can search in the studies linked from that page I linked earlier for “weight cycling” to see just how healthy it is to keep trying in the hopes that this time, this time, you’ll be the lucky one.

Golly that was long.  I also don’t know how useful it was, wonderful anon, but I do know that I wish you a very good rest of your week.

[unicolabsworld]

A (almost) productive week before my mid terms🌿 | High-School Edition|

Date : 11.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌦

Yes, it was drizzling here in the morning! So the weather is kind of cool. I love this kind of weather more, so it was a great start for me. I woke up at 6:30, so I kinda running late from my schedule😩, I usually wake up around 5:30/5:45 -ish [ʸᵉˢ, ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵃⁿ ᵉᵃʳˡʸ ᵇᶦʳᵈ].

After completing my morning routine[ᴸᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵈᵃʸ😉], I sat down to study for exam at 7-ish. Our first exam is Biology. I usually take a small 5 mins break while studying, during that time I hear motivational songs, but we had a huge syllabus to cover.

I studied for 3 hours or so and then my unproductive self came to light and I got distracted👀[ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᵃᵗ ᵐᵉ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗᵎ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵃ ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ ᵗᵒᵒ, ᴵ ᵗᵒᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵈᶦˢᵗʳᵃᶜᵗᵉᵈ😗]. I started digital painting on a specific topic which I took up few days back [ᵀʰᶦˢ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵃᵏᵉˢ ᵃ ˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ. ᴵ ʷᶦˡˡ ˢʰᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᶦᵗ ᶦˢ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉ😊]

I spent a good 45 - 60 mins in drawing/painting, but then the fear of failing in the exam crept into me. And I started studying again.

Around 13:00, I went to the bath, & after that I had lunch. I had private tuitions on Botany, Physics & Zoology from 14:00, so I had to keep my open and stay attentive even though I felt sleepy[ᶦⁿ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ ᶠᵒᵒᵈ ᶜᵒᵐᵃ]. And the tuition went till 20:30. I took a 15 mins break and I got myself something to munch on.

And from 20:45, I started my live group study session on Bindr platform till 23:00. That day I got a total of 21 students, generally I get somewhere around 11 students, I think this is the magic of the Exam Season.

And then I had my dinner and went to sleep by 00:00

Good Night🌃

Date : 12.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌤

YESSSS!!! I woke up at 5:30. Today, I will be able to do my exercises🐱‍👤. I did it for about an hour, and got super exhausted. But I collected myself. I freshened myself and did my morning routine, as I had time so I made myself a glass of coffee☕. And I sat down to study, today I had to give my full concentration towards studies as I had private tuition starting from 9 till 15:40😭

I hate private tution😩[ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ʷᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ²⁵ ᵐᶦⁿ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏ & ¹⁰ ᵐᶦⁿ ˢʰᵒʳᵗ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏ], but in these short time we need to do things with superhuman speed. Thankfully I mastered those superpower🏃‍♀️🌪[ᴵ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒˢᵗ, ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉˡʸ]

After completing my tuition, I sat down to have my lunch. After that I took a short nap for 45 mins ONLY👅.  I woke up at 17:30, freshened up myself and started to study again till 23:00.

Yes, and that's how my day ended 🙂.

No, that's not the truth, I got distracted in between. I spent my precious 60 mins on social media. But that's okay as I completed what I was supposed to learn.

Good Night🌃

Date : 13.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌥

Today I woke up on time, as usual I did my exercise and my morning routine. I had school from 7, so I got ready. There is nothing to get ready, TBH😜. I have a practical exam today on Food Nutrition & Dietetics Subject. I was kinda nervous. NO I WAS HELLA NERVOUS. I am seriously bad at oral exams. I was SUPER stressed, but I had my friends who helped to calm me down.

But much to my surprise, my practical exam went really well. I am kinda proud of myself because I could do it without blacking out or giving any answers wrong [ᵂᵉˡˡ, ᵃᵗˡᵉᵃˢᵗ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᴵ ᵍᵃᵛᵉ ᵐʸ ᵃⁿˢʷᵉʳˢ ᶜᵒʳʳᵉᶜᵗ😗.]

Our school ended at 14:00. I took a bath and had my lunch. I did my project assignments. Those were A LOT. A LOT. [ᴬᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵐʸ ᶠᵃᵘˡᵗ, ᴵ ᵈᶦᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᵈᵒ ᶦᵗ ᵃᵗ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ😐].  I completed those by 23:30 [ᴺᵒᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵒ] .  I procrastinate when it comes to doing project [ᴵ ᵃᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ (┬┬﹏┬┬) ].

Date : 14.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌥

Today I took a leave from school to complete my practical assignments. I still have a lot to complete(┬┬﹏┬┬)

I also had a practical exam for Physics in Google Forms. So I didn't have to worry about blacking out or so. The exam was scheduled to be at 13:30. So I had a lot of time to complete my practical assignments by then.

Also our things were shifted from our old house to our present house, so it was kind of chaotic in the background, but I had my earpods + Slowed music😎. No one can disturb me with these two powerful weapon😈(*Evil Laughter*). Sorry, enough of being dramatic. Now back to work. 

Aye aye madame!

At the scheduled time, I gave my exam. It went okay-ish if I have to say.

Today I have to submit my FND (Food Nutrition & Dietetics) practical assignments. The due time was at 23:59 and I submitted mine at 23:54. Wait, wait! I have my reasons. The picture which needed to be pasted was lost. Like really lost. I was screaming internally because if I don't find it immediately  I will lose my numbers. Exactly at 23:49, I found those pictures in my English Literature book. I clicked📸. Converted the file into PDF. Submitted and turned in. 

Oh my! that was intense. At Least I submitted my files on time. After that I had my dinner. Yes, I know it was pretty late, but I was hungry.

Good Night🌃

Date : 15.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌥

Today was study leave given by school, AS TOMORROW IS EXAM🥶. Thanks to God that it was not my subject, I got an extra day to study. My first exam was Biology. It is my most favorite subject to study.

But I studied Chemistry because that is one of my weakest subjects.

I studied and studied but after 4 hours, I got bored. I thought about taking an hour break by painting and listening to songs.

Nothing really happened that day because I was busy with chemistry. I had an intention to improve my chemistry marks [ᵐʸ ᶜʰᵉᵐᶦˢᵗʳʸ ᶜˡᵃˢˢ ᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵐᵃʳᵏˢ ᵃʳᵉ ʳᵉᵃˡ ᵇᵃᵈ]

Good Night🌃

Date : 16.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌥

Tomorrow I have an exam of my favourite subject -------- Biology. I looove this subject🙆‍♀️❤.

But there is no time for celebration. I have a lot to cover.

This is a MCQ - pattern question so I don't have to practice drawing diagrams. But I will learn the diagrams just to be on the safer side.

And after studying almost  6 hours, I got a little unproductive but I didn't want to go to SNS as I was afraid I would forget whatever I studied, instead I thought to edit a video that one of my friends asked me to edit. I spent a good 60 mins on it. And after having some snacks I went straight back to studying.

I actually slept early today,

1st reason - I hate/can't pull an all-nighter

2nd reason - My parents will not allow me to stay awake that late

3rd reason - We should get enough sleep before an exam

Good Night🌃

Date : 17.09.2021

Good Morning world!🌥

Today is the 1st day of the exam. I woke up a little late today, at about 7:30 am. I wanted to stay a bit relaxed to avoid the stress of exam because it is not healthy to take too much stress.

I made myself a cup of iced-coffee (ᴵᵗ ᶦˢ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵉᵃˢʸ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ) and sat down to do a last quick revision of my notes.

At 9:30 am, our exam started.

            🥁The war of brains started🥁

Sorry for being dramatic. Actually the paper was not as hard as I expected it to be. It was quite easy, but I think I made a mistake, actually I was confused with the options 👉👈.

But I am quite happy with the exam, it went well overall.

I want to eat an Ice-cream😗[ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵃˢ ʳᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ᶜᴬᴺ'ᵀ ᴴᴱᴸᴾ ᴵᵀ]. But "My mom won't allow me to have one" is silent😶.

So this was all for this week. I hope you liked it. This is my first time so please feel free to correct me , & I will try to improve and correct my mistakes in my future and upcoming posts.

Please stay tuned for my next blog❤💕

Do not repost🚫