#i love evil women and so does gideon

[lakesparkles]

JULIE POWERS VS THE WORLD (part 2) (This is an AU I swapped Goosepowers and Scottmona, basically)

More information below:

And I finally finished these, it took a while… Well, of course the next thing I needed to do was design Ramona (but with her being as Gideon). I wasn't sure about her design at first, but I'm starting to like it more. My whole idea for the AU is that Gideon would gladly talk about all of his exes to Julie (in this case here, Ramona and Sloane), mostly explaining about how much "they were mean and terrible and ruined his whole life"! The thing is, when Julie meet that said exes, she hears theie side of the story and realize Gideon was never being truly sincere - and that he was an worse boyfriend than he'll ever admit. He's still Gideon, after all, I don't want to change this. The theme of the story will still be close to the original: is someone like Gideon able to change? Is it worth even trying to be with someone like him?

[nedlittle]

as someone who only just finished gideon the ninth last sunday & finally understands the hype & hasn't finished the other books, PLEASE release the 11 pages of notes

your wish is my command, here are my notes verbatim typed from my tiny notebook (typos notwithstanding. i fixed those so i don't look stupid)

ACT I

P. 29 - before the duel, Harrow presents herself “emptied like a quiver” prefiguring the necromancer/cavalier dynamic and the fact that they will grow to need each other. The king & lionheart of it all…

P. 54 - Gideon tells Harrow: “Your heart is a party for ten thousand nails.” and I SCREAMED 

P. 73: [paragraph describing Ianthe and Coronabeth in luxurious detail] “The boy just looked like a bit of a dick.” lesbianism

P. 76 - “He didn’t look healthy; he looked like a collection of lemons in a sack.” Why is this so evocative

SO funny that Harrow is like Griddle. You hog you need to do this correctly. Wear the damn face paint. And then it’s just a weird Ninth House thing. I love space Catholicism these bitches so deranged

Cannot read the “I pray the tomb stays locked forever. I pray the rock is never rolled away” prayer without it being to the tune of ‘No Children’

ACT II

P. 110 - “Coronabeth Tridentarius, Princess of Ida, took her hand and roguishly kissed the backs of Gideon’s knuckles.” I know there’s a whole essay on chivalry and gender on Tor but I guess I just want to say that there’s a really interesting subversion of the medieval lady/champion dynamic going on. Coronabeth kisses Gideon’s knuckles. Dulcinea has Gideon physically show off but Gideon, bound by her promise to Harrow, cannot talk and thus any typical structures for wooing are inverted. By her silence she is rendered as cool and unbreachable as a maiden in a tower

Something something Gideon’s physical body and her personhood always being someone else’s property.

All of Jeannemary’s dialogue with Magnus being parenthesized and in a smaller type is such a fun little touch

P. 125-6 - “[...] but she had fed her entire life into the meat grinder of hope.” Fuck me!

P. 128 - “She had never seen Harrowhark Nonagesimus’s naked face.” Harrow having to perform being Reverend Daughter not only her role but the entire house in the shape of a girl

[Angela Carter voice] a girl who is both death and the maiden

 P. 151 - “You could have died today.” "you could finish me right now, if you liked. You might even win."......hot.

Every single one of Gideon’s silly nicknames for Harrow is perfect.

P. 152 - “She smiled again–slower than before, just as terrible, just as strange.” Okay Galadriel

P. 161 has the first time Gideon calls Harrow by her first name. By the end of the act it will be three times. Harrow has yet to say hers.

“P. 163 - “You can control my body. You can read my thoughts.” I believe this is what the kids call foreshadowing for book 2

Also on that page: “But first, Griddle, I’m afraid I have to pass out.” I love her.

Verbatim annotation from p. 167: ‘SHE’S NEVER HAD A DESERT :(‘ 

I know that they’re not friends but [John Darnielle voice]: people say friends don’t destroy each other what do they know about friends

Ianthe’s “I don’t live alternative histories” god I am so excited for her to be awful

The dynamic kind of reminds me of Sweet Smell of Success (1957) which features a similarly nasty yet reliant dynamic but it ends Far Worse. Very much we need each other to be a cohesive whole but that doesn’t mean we have to be nice

IT WAS THEIR ANNIVERSARY!!! NO

ACT III

I will be surprised if Dulcinea survives and also does not end up being marginally evil.

Not to sound like it’s 2014 and I just discovered all-female casts but I’m really into both the 2nd and 9th being the only ones with both necro + cav being women. I know it’s a basic thing and that there isn’t

a ton about the Second House yet but having the representatives of “The Emperor’s Strength” both be girls…nice

Naberius die challenge!

P. 200 - “He wouldn’t have let anything happen to Abigail [...] She hated heights. She never would have risked falling.” I am howling like a shot wolf.

First of all, Gideon being affected by Magnus’s death because he was nice to her without any ulterior motives: OUCH. Second, “we are all the sons and daughters that the House of the Ninth possess.” The Twelfth Night of it all…the performance of it all. (“I am all the daughters of my father’s house and all the brothers too.” 2.4)

The Harrow who lives in my head has a mullet

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL I EVER DESIRE YOUR JUICE

The First time Harrow calls Gideon by her name is p. 228

The choice of ‘spawned’ to refer to Harrow’s birth feels deliberate and I’m sure I’ll find out why later. Also the Scandalous Nudity being her face rather than her body when they’re both bare…it’s about living around and under the foot of someone your whole life but never being allowed to know them

P. 234 - Gideon can’t even say Harrow’s name aloud to anyone else…I wish to die! Swiftly!

P. 246 - Gideon has a hot bath for the first time (yay!) and wonders “whether water could get inside of you and make you sick.” God the Ninth House really is living in Vampire Times. Aristotle, you there?

The way all the different houses approach necromancy and the necro/cav dynamic is SO interesting! Cam’s line on p. 235 about the Eight “breed[ing] batteries” absolutely chilled me. Also the juxtaposition between the Eighth using cavaliers as an energy source vs Ianthe, absolute freak, taking a chunk out of Babs. The physical body vs the energy which propels it. Then contrasting that with pairs like Magnus & Abigail (rip) and Cam & Pal who mentally and emotionally rely on each other instead. It isn’t parasitic. KING AND LIONHEART! GO CRAZY AAH! GO STUPID AAH!

I am using all of my meager brain cells to formulate a thought about Camilla and Marta’s fight that isn’t just. wrow. women. OK. The description is short and brutal like the fight itself. The line about Cam fighting like a grease fire works so well my blood was in my EARS! When she dislocated Marta’s arm my own arm jerked back in shock. Fully almost yeeted the book

Yay for Pal also getting a hot moment. One man <3

“Harrow “rose to the occasion like an evening star”....DEATH FIRST TO VULTURES AND SCAVENGERS…I love her something awful. 

My highlighter ran out on p. 275 because I highlighted basically the whole page. The girls HUG!! Gideon lifts Harrow off the ground! Unsure if I should tag myself as ‘midnight hagette’ or Harrow’s utter lesbian brain death. At “It feels like forever” I genuinely screamed into my hands. God they’re it. THEY’RE IT.

P. 284 - “Gideon wanted her longsword and she wanted Harrow.” yeah me too

P. 285 - Jeannemary: “I hated [Isaac] when we were little, he wasn’t at all what I wanted.” ough the parallels

I know that naming a character ‘Isaac’ in your space opera about traumatized Catholics is sort of like naming a character ‘sacrifice’ and yet it’s still so gut wrenching! I love and I hate when characters fall victim to the prophecies within their names

Speaking of Biblical etymology, I see you Judith Deuteros. Please decapitate a dude

I knew about the Sex Pal joke and still guffawed

CHAPTERS 26-34

The description of Isaac’s body as a “broken sieve” really upset me and also harkens back to Harrow being empty as a quiver. The necromancer’s body as something which exists to be filled by energy and power, but also something so vulnerable as to demand the physical protection and occasional energy of its cavalier

P. 292 - “When [Dulcinea] breathed it sounded like custard sloshing around an air conditioner.” Absolutely Fucking Wretched!!!

P. 294 - “Mostly cancer and just a little bit of women.” each House really is fucked up in new and exciting ways

Gideon’s nightmare of finding Jeannemary’s severed limbs in her bed really kneecaps you. It’s giving Bluebeard. It’s giving Robber Bridegroom. It’s giving cavaliers as expendable physical forms, and that kind of body horror hasn’t quite been present aside from the avulsion room which wasn’t so bad

P. 331 - “What would you do if you discovered Camilla was a murderer?” "Help her bury the body." G O D

This entire page kills me. For some reason the one year difference and the choice to say “I’ve known her as long as she’s lived” like Harrow’s life is contingent on Gideon’s. One flesh one end B I T C H ! !

Also on that page: “She nearly killed me half a dozen times growing up, but I always knew why.” ok cool!

WAS NOT READY FOR THIS REVELATION???

I have run out of insightful commentary but Harrow wanting “prey, rival, and audience all wrapped up in one.” vs Gideon being “hungry for the Reverend Daughter’s preoccupation”. Don’t you think they’re the same thing? Love and attention? They’re both watching and being watched. Portrait of a Lady on Fire shit

I think Harrow and Cam should hold hands if only because they’d both hate it

Tamsyn loves a prophetic name. I thought she’d subverted it with Protisilaus but nope. Dead all along. First to die

Ianthe’s head pun…what is wrong with her

P. 352 - genuinely don’t have anything of substance to say about the pool scene but “I am exactly two hundred sons and daughters of my House, Griddle–I am the whole generation of the Ninth.” All this PLUS Harrow piloting her parents to keep the Ninth functioning. Christ.

P. 355 - “I am tired of being two hundred corpses.” ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

Incredibly normal that Harrow’s parents were like hello our ten-year-old war crime daughter time for our group suicide! Here, I’ll tie your noose :) normal family!

I haven’t quite the familiarity with Antigone to say there’s an Antigone parallel somewhere but hmm

Cannot talk about the rest of this scene. I can barely look at it. YOU ARE MY ONLY FRIEND! I AM UNDONE WITHOUT YOU!! 

Oh to have your only friend Gideon Nav kiss you on the forehead

I love you 4’11” teenage saint war crime necrophiliac 

Gideon choosing to sleep in the cavalier bed. It’s about devotion as both a contract and an active choice. ‘I Will Follow You Into the Dark’ shit. I’m sick

P. 371 - “Dead as space, though accurately, that’s been true for a very, very long time.” I know this refers to Teacher but also stars themselves transmit light for millennia after they burn out. The cosmos itself as a haunted house

Why does the Emperor have a cohort anyway? What enemies are there that an army is necessary to grind children through? I need to know more about this

Cannot articulate this but Ianthe having to be a true necromancer and eating Babs to become a lyctor IS feminist not just because it’s such an overcome male power trip moment but also because it seems that In Media we can only have female villains if they’re tormented and redeemed by the end, they aren’t allowed to be deranged little freaks like this. She’s the damn joker!

REST IN PISS BABS. Again, genuinely progressive that Ianthe eats him and absorbs his perfect cavalier training; then, when she cannot keep it up she turns into a SKIN SHIELD?? [John Darnielle voice] come unhinged! Get revenge!

You’re really eased into the body horror and then Act IV is like hey kid you’re going to experience body horrors beyond your comprehension.

CHAPTERS 35-END 

Thinking about 8-year-old Palamedes writing to 15-year-old Dulcinea about how he’s determined to cure her. Also interesting to think that something so mundane as cancer still exists in this world where people are regularly getting bodied by skeletons

Oh, re: Pal, I forgot to highlight this but there’s a line a few (?) chapters back where he surveys his work and sees that it’s good which is directly from god creating the universe

P. 400 - “[Gideon’s] brain was full of sweet fuck all.” yeah girl me too

Every single man in this book has died. Feminism but also Palamedes my friend :(

“Tell Camilla–oh never mind, she knows what to do.” Doctor Who vibes (sorry) “If you see Rose, tell her…tell her…oh, she knows.”

P. 406 - “Camilla Hect off the leash was like light moving across water. She punched her knives into the Lyctor’s guard over and over and over. Cytherea met them ably, but such was Camilla’s speed and perfect hate that she could only hope to block the thunderstorm of blows; she could not even begin to push back against them.” The wording here feels so deliberately Homeric! It’s her aristeia!

It doesn’t mention this in the after matter, but I am choosing to believe Cam was named after Camilla in the Aeneid. She HAS to be!!

I understand why people scream at Marvel movies now but the more apt comparison for Gideon & her two-hander is the re-forging of Anduril. I can hear the score

P. 412 - “I need to be inside you.” NOW IS NOT THE TIME HARROW!!

P. 414 - “Did you behold me, Griddle?” she got yeeted by a vertebrae string because she was too busy beholding you, Harrow!

Rosary-whip made of knuckles. What a great time to be ex-Catholic. This is so hot of her

Camilla Hect aroace icon. Send tweet.

A climactic boss fight where all 5 characters are women…wrow

FUCK YEAH DISMEMBERMENT!!

P. 429 - “All you have to do is live.” Harrow begging Gideon to do the one thing she thought was impossible as a child

Oh these bitches in LOVE

I love “undeserved” forgiveness

[holds Harrowhark Nonagesimus] you do not have to be good you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves

I’m sorry I have zero thoughts I’m just saying ROMANCE ROMANCE ROMANCE ROMANCE ROMANCE ROMANCE over and over and over again in my head

“First flower of my House” is the most romantic shit I’ve ever heard get it OUT of my face. That is not something you come up with on the spot…

The cruelest thing anyone has ever done to Harrow in her life is willingly die for her…

P. 436 - “They were cheek to cheek: Gideon’s arm and Harrow’s arm entwined, holding the sword aloft, letting the steel catch the light.” No THIS is the most romantic shit

Harrow/Pal lavender marriage of the century lmao

Gideon & Harrow 🤝 Gimli & Legolas

Quoting the verses of the Book of Ruth that’s commonly used at weddings

Hey at least I successfully guessed that Dulcinea would be evil & dead by the end. I love being right

IN SUMMARY: DEATH DYING SUFFERING ROMANCE PAIN

[lawrenceop]

HOMILY for the Christmas Mass during the Night

Isa 9:1-7; Ps 95; Titus 2:11-14; Luke 2:1-14

Christmas is a declaration of war! Or to be more precise, the birth of God in the flesh, in our world, in our human condition, makes visible and manifests in blood and bones and in our own human body, the spiritual warfare that began when the angels had fallen in love with themselves. For the angels had fallen through pride, which is essentially an overblown love of one’s own excellence, and an overestimation of one’s own correctness combined with a desire to dominate others, and so to get my own way always. Pride, in short, is believing that “I know best”. 

And so the angels’ rebellion infected humanity, and Eve had thought she knew better than God how to gain for herself happiness, and freedom, and the knowledge of good and evil. This temptation to create our own meaning, and reality, and happiness independently of God has never gone away, so dictators wage wars, and families continue feuds, and our hearts become battlegrounds – all because of pride. So Mankind fell out of love with God, and so we began to “walk in darkness” as Isaiah says.

But tonight God comes to shatter the darkness: “On those who live in a land of deep shadow a light has shone.” By his coming as Man, Jesus himself enters into the fray, and because he is God so he comes with victory to end this mad war, this insane rebellion against Mankind’s highest and truest good. For one of the insights of St Thomas Aquinas is that every act of sin is a lapse of reason, a kind of momentary insanity as we knowingly choose an apparent good over the true Good, God himself! Hence God comes to break the heavy burden of Mankind’s sin, the rod of pride that stiffens our will. Thus (Isaiah says) “the yoke that was weighing on him, the bar across his shoulders, the rod of his oppressor, these you break as on the day of Midian” – just in case you’ve forgotten, this refers to a battle between Gideon and his 300 soldiers against the vast army of Midian, and Gideon was victorious against the odds because God’s power was with Gideon and his men. And so at Christmas, God declares war on all that separates us from him, or turns us against him, and in doing so, they would diminish our humanity. 

Hence, an army of the good heavenly angels appears in the night sky outside Bethlehem declaring “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace to men who enjoy his favour.” This, in fact, is a declaration not merely of war but of victory already won as peace is restored to men and women who live by God’s favour, meaning, for anyone who will receive his grace and live by it; anybody who will thus allow God to be their ally and friend. As St Paul said to Titus: “God’s grace has been revealed, and it has made salvation possible for the whole human race and taught us that what we have to do is to give up everything that does not lead to God, and all our worldly ambitions”. In other words, Christ comes to lead us away from all that would lead us away from God and so end the strife begun so long ago. Therefore, tonight, by his birth among us, God declares war on sin, on pride, which leads us away from God. God comes to us to fight for humanity’s liberation from vices and evil, not with material weapons nor even with a mighty army of angels. Rather, God takes flesh and is born of the virgin Mary, born for us, as a vulnerable, little, human baby. There, lying in the manger – a domestic animal’s feeding trough! – helpless and vulnerable in his little body, is the Creator and Sustainer of All that Is. Isaiah, excitedly gives him a string of titles: “Wonder-Counsellor, Mighty-God, Eternal-Father, Prince-of-Peace” – many of us will hear these titles, I think, and hear the stirring music of Handel in the back of our minds. Nevertheless, no grand music, nor red and gold decor, nor warm glowing lights should distract us from this strange truth, this marvellous mystery, the sheer creativity of the divine stratagem of war that bring us our peace. 

For born in the cave at Bethlehem, and gawped at by outcast shepherds, and wrapped in simple strips of linen cloth is God himself, God-with-Us, a human baby. And this baby, even before he is full grown, is already our champion and warrior and victor in the ancient war against sin and pride. 

How? For the root of all sin, as we saw when the angels fell, is pride. So God, in answer, comes in all humility to demonstrate humility. Come to the manger and see the humility and meekness of God in the flesh. And Christ comes to teach us humility. This is enacted in a striking manner if you were to visit the Grotto where Jesus was born in Bethlehem: To get down into that small cave, you’d first have to stoop down and make yourself small, squeezing through an ancient doorway that leads into the birthplace of Christ. However, Christ teaches us not to become small physically - that is not his intention – but rather he wants to teach us to humble our thoughts, our intellect, our fundamental attitudes. 

And so tonight Christ, born for us, is here to teach us humility. For when we come to the altar, here in church, we see the humility and meekness of Christ. Because Jesus is present for us in the Eucharist, hidden under the appearances of bread and wine. So, in the Mass, the Blessed Sacrament is held up for us to adore and worship as God, and given to us here in Holy Communion, but we can only do this fruitfully if we have learnt to be humble and docile, if we can truly say, “God knows best”, and so we trust in the teachings of God’s Word given to his Church. God knows how this mystery of the Eucharist comes to be – our human minds will always fail to fathom this sublime sign of God’s love and humility. Certainly, the angels themselves marvel and wonder at the humility of this great Sacrament. Hence St Francis of Assisi said: “O sublime humility! O humble sublimity! That the Lord of the whole universe, God and the Son of God, should humble himself like this and hide under the form of a little bread, for our salvation.” So, if you marvel that God is so great that he can humble himself and become a little baby, so we marvel that Jesus, who took flesh from the Virgin Mary, is truly present here and now, just as he had been in Bethlehem. For tonight, and indeed, at every single Mass, the church becomes Bethlehem, which means ‘the house of bread’, and the altar becomes the manger, the feeding trough, because from it you and I are fed with Jesus himself – we receive his Body and Blood into our own bodies, we become united to his flesh. This is the true wonder of Christmas that is extended to us day after day in the Mass. As Pope St Leo the Great said: “God took the nature of a servant… enlarging our humanity without diminishing his divinity.” 

Christ comes to us in the Sacraments, therefore, to enlarge our humanity. Christ comes, therefore, to fight with us, alongside us, and indeed, within us. As St Paul says to Titus that Christ has “sacrificed himself for us in order to set us free from all wickedness and to purify” us. Hence Christ empties himself and gives us himself, giving us his grace in the Sacraments especially in the Eucharist, so that we might share in his victory, so that we might taste the goodness of God, and enjoy his peace.

Today, then, war has been declared and victory has been won. For today the Word became flesh and dwells among us. The prophet Isaiah says that it is the “jealous love of the Lord of Hosts” that motivates this, meaning, God’s all-consuming and intense love for humanity, for you and for me. St Thomas Aquinas suggests that God became Man, a little baby lying in the manger in Bethlehem, “so that even children could know and love God as someone like themselves”. Therefore, in this Christmas season do visit the Crib, our Nativity Chapel, or whatever favourite image of the birth of Jesus you have, and pray and ask that you can come to know and love Jesus, God-with-us, who is born for this. Or, if you ever find yourself sitting in darkness and in the shadow of death, if you are anxious and frustrated and lonely and feeling unloved, come to Mass more often, and come to adore the Lord in the Eucharist, and discover the true beauty and miracle and wonder of Christmas. For as J. R. R. Tolkein said: “Out of the darkness of my life, so much frustrated, I put before you the one great thing to love on earth: the Blessed Sacrament… There you will find romance, glory, honour, fidelity, and the true way of all your loves on earth”. 

Therefore, tonight, gathered around the manger that is this altar, we sing our victory song: “O come let us adore him, o come let us adore him, o come let us adore him, Christ the Lord!” 

[gothprentiss]

my reboot hot take is that i actually super don't mind the rossi grief thing that much.

it definitely highlights the extent to which prentiss and alvez are kind of auxiliary characters right now, and it's part of the show's loooooooooong history of killing off women for its male agents' development, but it doesn't center him in the same way that the show usually does-- like him lashing out in grief (behavior i think the show doesn't really allow for a lot of the time) is always about the other characters and their emotional depth and maturity. it's sort of a reverse gideon; rossi's not the team's source of stability as the most mature agent but rather the way that they show how connected they are to each other.

i don't mean this as a critique of the complaints about this. there's no angle from which this isn't obviously a misfire. most commonly i've seen people identifying the problem as the show's consistent focus on its white male characters. this makes the problem with this particular storyline pretty obvious: gideon was played by the most famous actor on the show; reid and hotch were the characters people were most attracted to, or cared about the most. this of course is what happens with white men in tv shows, but their popularity was obvious, and licensed their centrality. the choice to give him a dead wife was a tired one, and probably will be part of them setting him up to retire at the end of the season.

people rightly complain about how the reid addiction storyline was remarkably poorly handled. characters were shown to know he was struggling and only indicate their worry; when he was erratic, vulnerable, or volatile, the characters around him absorbed that behavior without really reacting to it outside of the immediate scene. i don't know that this will go any better but we do see someone who's been (differently, of course) erratic, vulnerable, and volatile, and the narrative is far clearer that cutting him slack is a problem, and also that it's a combination of everyone assuming he's doing better than he is, and the way that everyone around him is isolated, spread thin, and strapped for time and energy. we get to see people treating him with different kinds of care: garcia talks to him about trauma and therapy; alvez treats him with familial patience and empathy; prentiss approaches him with advice she wishes she'd taken, from a source she thinks he's more likely to respect (the gideon don't go silent thing... i'm obsessed). i think his repeated clashes with garcia suggest that she's also going to be at the center of this season, especially given this show's tendency to condense processes of healing and grieving to a few short episodes, then relegate them to passing mentions at most.

in short, i think that this particular rossi arc is definitely just more of the same, but more of the same which, so far, is being conducted better: characters recognize that they're failing each other and respond in ways which are unique and personal; the Evil Administrator storyline that this show loves to lean on is likewise part of their interpersonal world, and we get to see why these problems have gone on the way that they have. this probably won't end up being a thoughtful meditation on loss and community, but it is, so far, way more thoughtful about how the characters care for and are responsible to each other than i've seen the show be in a long while. not great that it's rossi, but it's an improvement, and i'm fascinated to see where it goes.

[wolint]

FRESH MANNA

DIVINE VISION

Jeremiah 1:11-12

What do you see? Vision is a picture of the future that produces a passion for the present. Lack of vision is like trying to see underwater without a mask—everything is blurry, nothing makes sense, and we feel impossibly lost.

Divine vision is seeing what the Lord is sees and not focusing on the carnal projections of our natural and physical environment.

The Lord has a great vision for us all, both collectively and individually. Vision is probably the most used word in every sector of life unfortunately, it’s often used as an excuse to violate God's authority.

God created us to be people of vision, but we must have a godly vision for ourselves and our families, businesses, and the church if we don’t want circumstances, challenges and difficulties directing our lives.

God asked Jeremiah what he saw and to his response, God said he had seen well. The Lord is asking you too, what do you see? Are you seeing what the Lord sees? Are you seeing beyond your circumstances and the potential in God’s word? Are you seeing the love of the Father or His delay in helping you?

According to Habakkuk 2:2, we must write down our visions, whatever they are, so that we can pursue them until they materialize.

Divine vision is limited to prophetic revelation in the Bible and refers to the prophetic function of receiving and delivering the word of God. Proverbs 29:18 tells us that without divine vision, we will stumble.

The world has programmed us to see needs, faults, lack, suffering, wickedness, and evil but when we see through the scriptures and God’s eyes, we see what and how He sees, we begin to act, think, speak, and live differently as stated in Psalm 119:82.

We must learn to see God’s promises and not the problems.

James 1:17 says every good gift comes from the father, including career, ministry, family, spouse, children, good health and whatever else we envision (see, virtualize, picture). Whatever we see must be aligned with the scriptures, believing that God’s vision for us is ours.

If we don’t dream it and have no vision of it, we don’t see it! if we don’t see it through the eyes of God, it does not come true! Don’t be in self-denial about your ability to bring your vision to pass without God, Self-denial, which fools will not endure, is essential to success according to Proverbs 13:19.

Some have such spiritually pessimistic attitudes that they don’t even bother dreaming. You must see yourself as God sees you, not as the world does or programmed you to see yourself. In Judges 6:12-14, God saw Gideon as a hero, but Gideon saw himself as a weak man.

What do you see?

When you align your vision with God’s and dwell on the scriptures, it helps position you and gives you the advantage of seeing better and farther than others. Allow your focus, your sight be set on God’s gifts and the positives and not on the negatives because what and how you think is what and how you dream declares Philippians 4:8 because vision helps us get things done and motivates and guides us as Paul declared in Romans 15:20-22.

What do you see?

Whatever your visions are!

Whatever your thoughts are!

The Lord is saying to you “You have seen well; He’ll bring His word to pass.

PRAYER: Lord I pray that you help me develop the spiritual vision that connects me to see everything you want me to see in Jesus’ name Amen.

Shalom

Women of light international prayer ministries.

[derschwarzeengel]

On the Origin of Darklighters

Every so often, discussion pops up in Charmed (1998) fandom on how Darklighters were created and where they come from (the 2018 reboot's canon for their version of Darklighters does not count for this discussion), as TV canon never gives us a definite answer.

Canon from the tie-in novels, however, is another story.

One of the tie-in novels, Mist and Stone by Diana G. Gallagher, has the major antagonist as a 1,000 year old Darklighter focused on a teenage Future Darklighter (and introduces the concept that just as Whitelighters are recruited from the good side of humanity, so are Darklighters with humanity's darker side).

Some quotes:

“Darklighters fill their ranks from the bad just as Whitelighters are recruited from the good” (pg. 64).

“Just as truly selfless people became Whitelighters after they died, those with hardened hearts and no tolerance for mercy became Darklighters.” (pg. 103)

“Most delinquents and young street criminals did not qualify as future Darklighters. History was rife with the terrible deeds of ruthless tyrants, but few men were so thoroughly evil that every trace of goodness had been purged from their being. Of those few, the insane megalomaniacs were also weeded out. The immense power of the underworld could not be entrusted to erratic personalities” (pg. 104).

“By their very nature, Darklighters were too independent, arrogant, and single-minded in the quest to perpetuate evil and kill Whitelighters to work together effectively. Consequently, there had never been a cohesive, competitive faction of Darklighter power” (pg. 104 - 105)

We see with Alec in S1e21 "Love Hurts" that there are Darklighters who target female Future Whitelighters (human women destined to become Whitelighters) to seduce and impregnate them, with the resulting offspring being raised for evil and inheriting Darklighter powers.

Later seasons introduce other sub-species of Darklighter: Spirit-Killers and Trackers, alongside your typical assassin Darklighter and Alec's incubus-like kind. When Whitelighter-witches turn evil, their orbs turn black like a Darklighter's, and Gideon's orbs were more purple than the pale blue/white of other Whitelighters.

So, the way I see it from information given in TV canon and supplemental tie-in material (novels only), there are three "origins" for Darklighters:

they're recruited from the amoral, darker side of humanity and most were originally humans destined to become Darklighters after death the same way Whitelighters are recruited from good, selfless humans

they're born (the result of a Darklighter father and human mother)

they're the result of a Whitelighter turning evil rather than "falling from grace" and "losing their wings" to become mortal again (when Leo "falls from grace" in season 7/8, he simply becomes human again rather than turning into a Darklighter) [this third option is probably the one that happens the least often and is rarer than the other two]

Scar, the Darklighter antagonist in Mist and Stone also gets a flashback from his perspective as to how he became a Darklighter in the first place (in life, he was a slave-turned-gladiator in ancient Rome).

Scar died with his name thundering in his ears.

"Stratorius! Stratorius!"

When he awoke in the netherworld of supernatural evil, he accepted his remarkable fate without question. Whole and healed, except for the facial scar that had defined his previous existence, he kept the blemish and his name as a reminder.

Neither life nor death had beaten him. Nothing ever would.

-- pg. 108

[qqueenofhades]

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus  * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

[melanielocke]

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 29

AO3

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month

Previous Chapter: Chapter 28

Next Chapter: Chapter 30

The drive to Inverness was long and uncomfortable. Will was driving his car, with Gideon in the passenger seat and Cordelia, Lucie and Tessa pressed in the back. It was a small car, and the three of them in the back only just fit, with Lucie pressed against Cordelia. Not that she minded that exactly, and Lucie didn’t seem to either. Cordelia concluded her hips were too wide for this seat, little to be done about that.

Lucie tried to distract everyone by telling them about one of her stories, but even Lucie couldn’t hide how nervous she was, and got confused halfway through the story several times. Cordelia knew that rarely happened, Lucie could keep track of pretty much everything she wrote. Every once in a while Tessa scolded her husband for going over the speed limit, to which Will replied that they were in a hurry.

When Lucie was done with her stories, they began to discuss strategy instead. Who would approach Tatiana first, how would they fight her, how to make sure she didn’t escape using dark magic?

‘If she escapes into the land in between, I can follow her,’ Lucie said. ‘And the spell needs to be finished in this world, not the land in between. That’s what Jesse said. So if she escapes into the land in between, and we keep her occupied there so she can’t get out in time, then she’ll miss the window of opportunity.’

Time moved differently in the land in between, and almost always returning from there meant more time had passed in this world. If Tatiana fled into the land in between at the last moment, she would not make it back in time and that would win them at least a day.

‘We’ll need to stop her from speaking too,’ Lucie said. ‘Do we have any tape?’

Cordelia at some point fell asleep during the trip, she must have been more tired than she thought. She woke up when the car stopped. They were on a parking lot in what seemed like the middle of a city.

Cordelia got out of the car, and walked around a bit, trying to get the stiffness out of her body. She practiced some of her movements, without the sword for now as she didn’t want to draw unwanted attention. While Lucie’s parents and Gideon were looking around for the best way into the hotel, Lucie joined her, stretching too.

‘My butt hurts,’ Lucie said. ‘I am not taking the middle seat on the way back.’

The middle seat of Will’s car was a bit harder than the rest so Cordelia could imagine why Lucie might prefer not to sit there.

‘I think you’re the only one who fits there,’ Cordelia said.

Lucie was the shortest, both Cordelia and Lucie’s mother were quite tall and had long legs. Lucie was probably also the only with hips narrow enough to fit there.

‘Fair point,’ Lucie said. ‘Before we go in, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.’

Cordelia frowned, she wasn’t sure this sounded good. As if Lucie was about to confess something bad.

‘I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but I guess if something goes wrong today, I would rather you knew. I’m in love with you. I didn’t realize until recently, but I guess I’ve loved your for years.’

It was not what Cordelia had been expecting. Even if Alastair had told her Lucie probably liked her. Even if it was what she’d been longing to hear.

‘I do feel the same way,’ Cordelia said. ‘I only realized about a week ago, but I do like you too. I just never thought you’d feel that way about me. Or well, Alastair did but I think I was scared.’

Lucie’s eyes went wide, he cheeks turned a rosy pink. ‘Alastair knew?’

‘He read some pages from the beautiful Cordelia and he did not know how else to explain it,’ Cordelia admitted. ‘I just didn’t dare believe.’

‘I think for most of the time while writing it, I didn’t realize it myself either. But I always thought you were so beautiful and brave. I just had not yet considered I might love girls. Can I kiss you for good luck before we go in?’

‘Does that work?’ Cordelia asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Lucie said. ‘In stories it happens sometimes. It makes for romantic scenes, but often I’d expect the main characters or at least the main couple to survive. But when it’s real life, it might just all go to hell and this could be our last chance.’

‘It won’t be your last chance,’ Cordelia said. ‘You have too many stories you have to finish.’

Lucie laughed. ‘If I can’t die while I have an unfinished story I’ll probably live forever.’

Cordelia put her arm around Lucie’s waist, pulling her closer, and kissed her on the lips. She’d only kissed one other person before, which had been Lucie’s brother James. While he was not a bad kisser, it was different. Lucie’s lips were softer and tasted off her lipstick, and she was shorter than Cordelia so she had to bend down a little.

‘Oh, you have a little smear,’ Cordelia said when they broke apart. ‘Your lipstick.’

Lucie started laughing. ‘Probably. But I feel like I can face Tatiana with smudged lipstick. I understand now why they do good luck kisses. This worked.’

Cordelia had to agree. She felt better, more confident. At least she’d told Lucie. At least now they both knew how they felt about each other.

‘Let’s try it again,’ Cordelia said.

After several more kisses, Lucie’s parents still weren’t back, and Cordelia decided to call her brother. She wanted to tell him he was right and Lucie was in love with her, and she wanted to tell him she’d arrived in Inverness safely. When he didn’t answer his phone, Cordelia called Jem instead, to let them know they had arrived at least.

‘Is Alastair there?’ Cordelia asked. ‘I’d hoped I could speak to him.’

‘I’m on my way to the cottage right now, but I can give him your phone as soon as I arrive. How are you doing?’

‘I think we’ll be confronting Tatiana as soon as we can,’ Cordelia said. ‘Is everything alright there? How’s Alastair?’

‘Tired and stressed out,’ Jem said. ‘But he’s coping as well as he can. I’m surprised he’s doing so well, to be honest, but I find Alastair can be very hard to read. He always seems to be hiding how he really feels, and contrary to popular belief I cannot read minds.’

Cordelia had to agree, for a long time Alastair had hidden all of his feelings, his relationship, what Father really was like. She’d always sort of suspected he hid things from her, but could never have guessed the extent. Even now, the habit of hiding was difficult to break, and sometimes Cordelia still found herself trying to hammer down his walls.

‘And Thomas?’

‘No improvement, but he’s not getting worse either. Sophie and Alastair helped him go back to bed and he’s sleeping again. I’ve arrived, I can give you Alastair.’

‘Why didn’t you pick up your phone?’ Cordelia asked as soon as she’d confirmed he had the phone.

‘I can’t find it,’ Alastair said. ‘I think I left it in my bedroom, but I don’t want to leave Thomas to look for it. Did you make it to Inverness?’

‘Yes, we’re there now,’ Cordelia said. ‘You were right, by the way, about Lucie.’

‘About what exactly?’ Alastair asked.

‘That she likes me,’ Cordelia clarified. ‘Which was nice to figure out before we potentially die.’

‘You’re not going to die, Layla,’ Alastair said. ‘Have faith in yourself. I know you can do this. Good luck.’

‘To you too, dâdâsh,’ Cordelia said.

Cordelia put away her phone when Will, Tessa and Gideon came back, arguing, Will and Tessa both gesturing wildly. Gideon looked tired most of all, and didn’t participate in the argument as much.

‘Why do I have to be the decoy?’ Will asked. ‘Why can’t I go up there myself?’

Tessa sighed. ‘Because you’re best suited for the job.’

Will smiled. ‘Oh, tell me why then.’

‘Because you’re the best chance we have at charming an old woman receptionist,’ Tessa said. ‘Gideon’s too awkward and I’m not sure she’s interested in women.’

‘Thank you,’ Gideon said drily.

Will grinned. ‘Oh, I will charm her. I will charm her with such force she’ll be lying on the floor trying to remember her own name.’

Lucie looked mortified, Cordelia started laughing, picturing the scenario in her head of Will trying to flirt with the receptionist.

‘I actually did that once,’ Will said. ‘Jem and I needed to break into another hotel where someone had trapped a couple of fairies.’

Fairies, as Cordelia knew it, lived in the woods and tended to be small. They could get up to mischief, but weren’t dangerous. Part of what Will and Jem used to do was also protect creatures like that from humans who intended to harm them, and it was an important part of what Cordelia wanted to be like. She knew some of her ancestors had only focused on protecting humans, and killed indiscriminately, and she was determined to do better.

‘Ah, good old times,’ Will said. ‘The old lady didn’t know what hit her, and Jem had every chance to sneak inside and break out those poor fairies.’

‘So, do that again,’ Tessa said. ‘We can’t all go in at the same time, it’ll draw too much attention. Lucie, you’re with me. We won’t draw too much attention together. Cordelia, you can’t wait for too long after that. You go in alone. If you get caught, pretend you were looking for a bathroom. Otherwise, pretend you belong.’

Cordelia guessed she was bound to attract the most attention either way with how she looked, but there was nothing to be done about that.

She waited outside with Gideon while Will, Tessa and Lucie went inside. Gideon looked weary, and anxious. She understood how difficult it was for him, if it were Alastair who’d gone down such a path she would keep hoping for far longer than she should. She couldn’t imagine what it was like, to watch a sibling lose themselves and become evil and be able to do nothing. Because Tatiana had shut everyone out. So while Cordelia acknowledged her pain, she also believed Tatiana had had a hand in digging her own grave, by allowing revenge and hatred to consume her rather than seeking support from her brothers who would have welcomed her back any time.

‘Go,’ Gideon said, as he looked in through the window, while looking through his phone.

Cordelia suspected he wasn’t actually looking or reading anything as he was holding his phone upside down, it just made him look less out of place. The lobby of the hotel was nice enough. Nothing fancy, it was the kind of hotel most people could afford, but everything looked clean. Of course, the real place the judge the cleanliness of a hotel was the bathroom, but Cordelia had no reason to go there.

Will was chatting up the receptionist, who was a little older than he was, but not an old woman either. From a distance, she overheard him asking questions about the city, exaggerating his Welsh accent to show he was not from around here, but was not an Englishman either.

The receptionist’s attention was on Will, and Cordelia tried her best to act natural as she walked past her and into the corridor. A little farther, Tessa and Lucie were waiting. Both acted casual, as if they were supposed to be there.

‘I’ve texted Will,’ Tessa said. ‘He’s the getaway driver in this plan, and if we’re in trouble, someone should text him or call him or whatever works in the situation and he’ll drive the car front.’

‘He’s probably not too happy about that,’ Cordelia said.

‘But he won’t be able to get himself inside without drawing attention, and he has the car keys,’ Tessa said.

Cordelia suspected Tessa also knew Will was likely to antagonize Tatiana even further, whereas she and Gideon might have a chance to calm her down. She clutched her necklace, ready to take cortana into her hand the moment they stepped into Tatiana’s room. When Gideon joined them, the four went looking for the room number Jesse had given them.

‘Nine hours until midnight,’ Tessa said.

Gideon nodded, shaking on his knees. Had he said goodbye to Thomas, Cordelia wondered? Would he be able to live with himself if Thomas died and he was here and not with him? Thomas would undoubtedly claim it was fine, as he always did. He and Alastair were alike in that manner, although Alastair was a bit more convincing when he pretended to be fine. But perhaps Thomas would want his father to be with him as he died.

‘She should be in here,’ Lucie said, pulling on the door. ‘Locked.’

‘Let me,’ Cordelia said, cortana in hand.

With a single motion she cut her way through the lock, opening the door and revealing Tatiana, who was dressed in old fashioned dark brown clothes, and looked like she hadn’t slept in a couple of days.

She was startled by their presence, but recollected herself quickly, grabbing a dagger and holding it in front of her.

‘How did you find me,’ she hissed.

‘You have to stop, Tatiana,’ Gideon said, putting his hands in front of him. ‘I can’t imagine how hard it was to lose your son, but that does not justify killing others to bring him back.’

‘No, you can’t imagine. I would do anything for my child. You could never understand such a thing, and that’s why Jesse will live and Thomas will die. Turn back, or I’ll kill you too.’

Cordelia took a step forward, cortana in hand and ready to attack if necessary. The sword had one dull edge, a chance for mercy, and an edge so sharp it would cut through anything. She didn’t have to kill Tatiana, but she would stop her.

‘Last chance, surrender,’ Cordelia hissed. ‘You lost your siren, you can’t win.’

Tatiana laughed. ‘Oh, can I? Good luck finding your way home, Carstairs.’

Before Cordelia knew for sure what was happening, she found herself in a forest. Not just in a forest, in the air between the trees and falling fast. Cordelia grabbed onto a branch of a nearby tree before she could fall any faster, pulled herself up and secured her position before scouting where she was. Tessa had gotten lucky, she fell onto a branch a bit lower, but had found a relatively easy route down to the ground.

Gideon wasn’t so lucky, he did crash into the tree before making his way to the ground, yelling in pain. Cordelia couldn’t tell from here if he was alright, but at least the tree had broken his fall somewhat. She was too high up to jump down without hurting herself, and in a difficult position to climb. She didn’t see Lucie anywhere.

She felt the branch creaking under her weight, and she slowly moved closer to the tree’s stem. There was another, thicker branch below her, but making it down would not be an easy exercise. She was trained in climbing, of course, otherwise she would have gotten stuck like a cat in there, or she’d fallen all the way down. But she was also heavy and most trees couldn’t hold her weight. She was a little out of practice, and right now that could be dangerous.

She hung down from the branch she was currently sitting on, hands twisted together above while hanging underneath. She could find the branch underneath her with her feet, and found some stability. From here it would be easier to get down, but she’d have to lower herself onto the branch first. She moved her grip from the branch above to the stem of the tree, carefully balancing herself until she was sitting on the branch. She let out a breath she’d held on to all that time when she was in a secure position. Now to make her way down. The branches were closer together, and she could get a little lower, and then she’d have to jump.

Beneath her, Tessa had fallen as well, but she’d made her way to her feet and seemed unharmed. Gideon, she wasn’t so sure about. Tessa was bent over him. Cordelia returned her focus to the tree, making her way to a lower branch, and putting her foot even lower. From here she could climb down until she was hanging about half a meter above the ground, from which she dropped, bending her knees to absorb the impact.

She ran over to Gideon and Tessa. ‘Are you alright?’ she asked.

‘I am,’ Tessa said. ‘A few scrapes and bruises, that’s all. Gideon has a broken arm. It needs support, but I’m not sure how.’

Cordelia undid the cardigan she’d tied around her waist, thankfully she’d forgotten to take it off. ‘Can you use this?’

Tessa sighed. ‘It’ll do, I guess. Where are we?’

‘The land in between. Where’s Lucie?’

‘I haven’t seen her. Lucie!’ Tessa yelled.

Cordelia also called her name. No response. Where was she? Cordelia suspected the three of them were in the land in between. The only time they’d escaped that place without Lucie’s magic was after killing the werewolf, which would mean walking until they made their way back into the real world. If that were even possible, they might very well be trapped.

‘I don’t think Lucie came here with us,’ Cordelia said.

***

Thomas slept most of the day, and Alastair made sure to be there with him whenever he woke. That became less and less frequent though, and Alastair was growing worried. Just after Thomas had gone back to sleep, a car pulled into the driveway. Who would be coming here?

Sophie opened the door to three young women. Of course, Thomas’ sisters were coming. Two of the girls had the same brown hair Thomas had, one a bit softer and rounder while the other was shorter and had more angular features. The third woman was Indian and Alastair remembered Thomas’ sister Eugenia had returned to India with her friend, and this had to be her.

‘We came as quickly as we could,’ Eugenia said. ‘Babs flew to Edinburgh this morning. Where’s Tommy?’

‘He’s sleeping,’ Sophie said. ‘You can check on him in his bedroom, but I think it’s best to let him rest and wait until he wakes up.’

Thomas’ two sisters left for his bedroom, while the Indian girl sat down on the couch next to Alastair. He’d been trying to read one of the family’s journals, but couldn’t concentrate. Not with the horrible knot in his stomach caused by worry.

‘You are Thomas’ boyfriend, aren’t you?’ the girl asked.

Alastair looked up from his work. He didn’t know who she was. He didn’t even know if she knew anything about what was going on. On the other hand, why would Thomas’ sister have brought her if she did not understand what was going on.

‘My name is Alastair Carstairs,’ he said.

‘Kamala Joshi,’ she said. ‘I’m Eugenia’s girlfriend.’

‘Right. I imagine Eugenia must have been worried,’ Alastair said.

He felt like he eased into the conversation a little. It wasn’t as stiff and forced as conversation usually felt for him.

‘We’d just returned from India when Eugenia received the call. She was very upset no one had told her about her brother being in danger sooner. But as I understand, your communication was cut off, was it not?’

‘What do you know of what’s going on?’ Alastair asked.

‘What Eugenia told me,’ Kamala said. ‘Something about her crazy aunt, a dark realm, and a deal with a creature that could bring back her dead son. I can’t say I understand everything. I’ve mostly tried to stay away from everything supernatural.’

‘But you do know,’ Alastair said.

‘A monster killed my parents,’ Kamala said. ‘I never found out what it was, but ever since, my eyes have been opened. At least somewhat, I can’t see the way Thomas or Barbara can. But when I first came to England, I rescued a fairy in the park from group of older boys who’d somehow seen her. It’s easier for children, I think, even without the sight. The fairy blessed me with a healing power. It’s minor, mostly I can heal injuries. I can’t cure complex diseases or anything like that. But it’s helpful, and Genie hoped I could help with healing Thomas.’

Alastair gazed down. ‘I don’t think so. His life is tied to someone else’s. If his cousin is brought to life, he’ll die, no amount of healing can save him then. On the bright side though, my sister is fighting Thomas’ crazy aunt right now. I am sorry about your parents.’

‘It was a long time ago,’ Kamala said. ‘I was six when it happened, seven when I was given my powers.’

Thomas’ sisters joined the two of them. They both greatly resembled Thomas, Alastair thought, and each other. He wasn’t sure which was which until the shorter, angular girl put her arm around Kamala. That had to be Eugenia.

‘Thomas is still asleep, I take?’ Alastair asked.

‘Yes,’ Barbara said. ‘He has a high fever, and I think he needs lots of rest. Much like when he was a child.’

Barbara soon turned her attention to Jem discussing something Alastair did not have the medical knowledge to follow. Barbara was a nurse, he remembered. She seemed knowledgeable at least.

‘So,’ Eugenia said, turning her attention to Alastair, ‘what do you want with my brother?’

Alastair was taken back, and it took a few moments to be able to formulate an answer, to push the words across his lips. Thomas had told him Eugenia could be fierce and both his sisters were very protective.

‘Genie, don’t be rude!’ Sophie called.

‘Right now, I want to save him,’ Alastair said.

***

Thomas woke up to find both his sisters sitting on chairs next to his bed. No. Oh no, what were they doing here?

‘Go home,’ Thomas said as he tried to sit up. He couldn’t. ‘Please.’

‘No,’ Eugenia said and Thomas cursed the stubbornness that plagued their family. ‘You’re in trouble, and we’re here to help. Kamala is here too, and she could use her magic on you, maybe that’ll heal you.’

‘Probably not,’ Thomas said. ‘It’s Tatiana.’

‘That’s where everyone else went, isn’t it?’ Barbara asked. ‘Dad went with uncle Will and aunt Tessa to confront her.’

‘And Lucie and Cordelia,’ Thomas confirmed. ‘Who are probably the most essential part of the plan. Lucie can command the dead and open gateways and Cordelia has a magic sword. They’re going to save me. Hopefully.’

Thomas hated that he couldn’t be of more help, that he was lying here in bed unable to do so much as get up. He’d slept most of the day, only waking up every once in a while and sometimes he feared he wouldn’t wake up at all.

‘Don’t lose faith, Tommy,’ Barbara said, stroking her thumb over his cheek. ‘You’re going to be alright. How are you feeling?’

‘Tired. Cold. Everything hurts. I shiver a lot. Like, actual, uncontrollable shaking.’

Barbara frowned. ‘Are you sure we don’t need to take you to a hospital? It sounds like you might have sepsis.’

‘It’s not that,’ Thomas said. ‘It’s the thief, Tatiana’s ritual. No amount of antibiotics can save me. Tatiana must be stopped.’

Thomas tried to stay awake for as long as he could, talking to his sisters, and later Alastair who came to join them. He was glad Alastair seemed to be getting along with both his sisters, even if Eugenia had been a little rude to him at first. Of course, he’d expected nothing less from her.

In the end he had no choice but to go back to sleep though. His eyes were falling shut, and Alastair, Barbara and Eugenia all noticed he couldn’t stay awake anymore.

‘Sweet dreams, nooré chesm-am,’ Alastair whispered in his ear before kissing him on the cheek. ‘Please wake up again.’

***

Eight in the evening. Sophie had tried to get Thomas to eat and drink a bit more, but he had not woken again. Alastair finally decided to try and wake him up. Nothing. Calling his name didn’t do a thing, nor did pulling on his shoulders. Perhaps he was in a deep sleep. Alastair could not quite convince himself. They quietly ate some of Sophie’s soup, but Alastair couldn’t take more than a few spoons. He felt tense and sick in his stomach. He needed to know Thomas was going to be alright, if Cordelia was doing well, if she was even alive.

Nine. Still no word from Cordelia, from any of them. Alastair had tried calling all of them. The only one who consistently picked up was Will as he’d been made the getaway driver. He’d been waiting outside for hours. He’d gone in and found everyone gone, confirming Alastair’s suspicions they’d gone into the land in between. He’d asked Will to call him as soon as he heard anything.

‘I’m going to check on him,’ Alastair said.

Thomas was still breathing when Alastair entered his bedroom. He was in a deep sleep, and Alastair couldn’t wake him up. He even threw the glass of water standing on his nightstand over his face. Nothing. Alastair grabbed a towel to dry him off, unable to leave him like this. No response.

Alastair blinked away some tears. ‘Don’t you dare die on me, Tom.’

A pause. Determination. ‘You’re not going to die tonight.’

Alastair returned to the living room. ‘He’s still sleeping. I don’t think he’s going to wake up. I need some air.’

Alastair went outside, but it wasn’t because he needed air. It had been too long. Cordelia was missing, something had gone wrong. If they’d stopped Tatiana, she would have let him now and they’d gone in hours ago. There was no way the fight could have taken this long, even if they’d gone into the land in between. Not to mention Tatiana could easily escape from there and finish the ritual.

Alastair felt as if he wasn’t inside his body anymore, as if he weren’t really alive. A terrible numbness at the thought that his sister was gone, that she’d failed. Perhaps she wasn’t dead, he told himself. Perhaps she was simply trapped in the land in between and time was passing much faster here for him. If that were the case, only Lucie could bring them back and he had no clue how long they had, if Tatiana was stopped, if Thomas was going to live.

He knew what ritual Gideon and his brother had interrupted all these years ago. With the knowledge from the Carstairs’ journals and the memory, Alastair had been able to piece it together and figure out how to summon the thief of souls.

He drew the circle and symbols in the sand. It wasn’t difficult. Just an incantation. He might have messed up the pronunciation of the words here and there, but he repeated the words Benedict Lightwood had said so long ago.

The thief appeared in the middle of the circle like demons often did.

‘Welcome to my circle, thief of souls,’ Alastair said. ‘I want to make a deal.’

[thepictureofsdr]

HELLO BITCHES my friend refuses to read the TLH short stories and ive given up trying so im summarizing it on the one long format social media we share so uh. read if you want to im not sure what anyone else would get out of this the first story is so fucking depressing HELLO

@mintminao3 i can’t believe im fucking rereading all of this it’s literally the foundation for why i dont like these characters and you’re making me reread it this should be considered a federal crime

1. CAST LONG SHADOWS

(this is a jem pov book bestie get it together will is mentioned literally a trillion times HELLO)

- jem is at the shadowmarket. premise of the book. matthew shows up and calls him uncle jem and kisses him on the cheek and i break down all over again

- flashback to the academy in 1899 (i forgot how OLD they are wtf)

- alastair says something really bitchy about will and tessa i forgot how rotten he was oh my god 😭

- “to everyone’s surprise” thomas gets him to stop 🤪 you dont care about this but i DO

- theres so much detail here you’re killing me this is an absolute nightmare im leaving so much juicy shit out YOURE THE WORST

- so uh. you know how ive devoted my life to our lord and saviour alastair carstairs. um. it gets a bit embarrassing here. just a tad. BUT YOULL UNDERSTAND SOON I PROMISSEEEEEE

- matthew goes looking for thomas who’s always with alastair and finds them both.

- matthew calls alastair a “low snaky serpent.” alastair calls matthew “mother hen fairchild” and then says he’ll be a lovely wife one day which i KNOW is an insult but i cant take it seriously hes just calling him a malewife it makes me giggle

- then matthew just BUSTS OUT the physical insults with an absolute unit of “has no kind soul thought to inform you that your hairstyle is, to use the gentlest words available to me, ill - advised? a friend? your papa? does nobody care enough to to prevent you from making a spectacle of yourself? or are you simply too busy perpetuating acts of evil upon the innocent to bother about your unfortunate appearance?”

- i mean. um. whew. for reference alastair’s hair is currently blond unless proven otherwise his introduction in TFTSA mentions him having “light hair” aka not the ink black he was born with.

- then alastair tells thomas to leave and pulls out the “women cant be good consuls blah blah blah” no one cares, this is the important bit, he goes on to, rather cruelly, inform matthew of a rumour floating around the academy that henry isn’t matthews father. gideon and charlotte work very closely together, and since matthew was born AFTER henry’s paralyzation, there’s a rumour that GIDEON is actually math’s birth father, esp since matthews got a mop of gold on his head rather than the red or brown of his parents. “henry fairchild is not your father” spat alastair. “you are gideon lightwoods bastard. everyone knows it but you.”

- (theres way too much dialogue to quote that whole scene)

- then matthew slaps alastair which like. deserved.

- its up to you to form an opinion, personally i don’t give a shit that alastair’s going around with this rumour hes like 16 in high school and it’s everyone’s god given right to slander politicians charlotte and gideon are no exceptions but i think the manner of speaking was cruel and an apology is in order, matthew was a little shit as well but alastair kinda pulled out the nukes. math would’ve found out eventually but alastair was kinda a bitch about it

- anyway back to the present

- jem lets math call him uncle and math “glows” i want to bottle him up and keep him safe ugh

- talk of will james tessa and lucie you miss out on sucks to suck loser

- … he gets a truth potion from a faerie.

- math goes back home, gideon comes over the next morning, math has an internal emotional crisis, yadda yadda, NO IM NOT CRYING AT HIS REFUSAL TO THINK OF HIM AS AN UNCLE AND THE PAIN THIS POOR BOY IS GOING THROUGH UH UH

- OKAY UM I COMPLELTEY FORGOT ABOUT THIS BUT UH (hes talking to himself in the mirror) “you may be a waste of space in a waistcoat” he told matthew fairchild “but at least your waistcoat is fantastic” NOW IM ACTUALLY FULL ON CRYONG

- also math has a dog named mr. oscar wilde this is critical to the story

- james content you’re missing out on loser

- “alastair loathly worm carstairs”

- “later matthew would look back and remember it as his last happy day”

- “alastair god-help-us carstairs”

- just. please read this.

Christopher had the audacity to look surprised when Matthew began to belabor him mightily about the head and face. "Watch the test tubes!" cried Thomas.' "There is a hole in the floor at the Academy that Professor Fell calls the Christopher Lightwood Chasm” "I suppose I hate some people," offered James. "Augustus Pounceby. Lavinia Whitelaw. Alastair Carstairs.” Matthew regarded his very own parabatai with deep approval. "This is why we are chosen warrior partners, because we share such a perfect bond of sympathy. Come to me, Jamie, that we might share a manly embrace." He made incursions upon Jamie's person. James thwacked him over the head with his book. It was a large book. "Betrayed," said Matthew, writhing prone upon the floor. "Is that why you insist on carrying about enormous tomes everywhere you go, that you might visit violence upon innocent persons? Done to death by my best friend- my heart's brother--my own dear parabatai. He snagged James around the waist and brought him crashing to the floor for the second time that day. James hit Matthew with the book again, then subsided, leaning his shoulder against Matthew's. They were both thoroughly rumpled, but Matthew did not mind being rumpled for a good cause.

- thomas defends alastair. says that alastair regrets the prank, able to tell because of how uncomfortable he gets when its brought up. also points out that alastair behaviour is partly brought on by jealousy, like how all the fathers came to the academy after the prank, will came running to james’s side, whereas no one came for alastair. then matthew pulls out this absolute horrifier of calling alastair a curse of a son and its understandable that a father would want to see him as less as possible. thomas also tells them not to listen to the bs alastair says when hes mad bc its usually nonesense.

- more emotional stuff between the family you miss.

- math puts the potion in the scones. charlotte eats one. she falls ill almost immediately. jem is called. (my sister just got home and now people are around me im trying so hard not to cry) its revealed that charlotte was expecting, and hoping for a little girl. matthew is beyond horrified. gideon has been making sure she was safe at the clave meetings which is why he was around more. the baby was going to be named after henry’s most beloved great aunt. matthew has her hair. henry caresses math’s head. he wishes his father would pick up a knife and slash his throat.

“it was not the faerie woman’s fault or alastair’s or the fault of any other soul. … He was not a fool. He was a villain”

“He laid his cheek against the cold floor and refused to let himself weep again. he knew he could not be forgiven”

ill do the other one later im after crying a concerning amount i cant handle anna right now

[thetypedwriter]

Gideon the Ninth Book Review

Gideon the Ninth Book Review by Tamsyn Muir 

It would be only a slight hyperbole to say that a million people have either recommended this book to me or have told me to read it. I’ve heard for years now that this book is incredible and extremely well written and beloved by many. So, if that’s the case why did I wait so long to read it?

I don’t have a good answer. Sometimes a book is on your radar, but either the time isn’t right, other books take priority, or in my case, it’s adult fiction and I held slight trepidation that I wouldn’t love it as much as everyone else in the world seemed to. 

Thank goodness, that didn’t end up being the case and I’ll get into why in a moment. 

First, Gideon the Ninth has the most amazing descriptive sentence belonging on any front cover of any book ever. 

I shall put it here for prosperity and awe: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. 

Now, I don’t know who you are Mr. Stross, but that has to be the best sentence written in the English language since its conception. If that isn’t enough intrigue for you to crack open the novel then I truly don’t know what is or what it would take. 

That being said, Mr. Stross wasn’t entirely accurate, but that’ll be clear soon enough. 

The novel surrounds our main protagonist, Gideon Nav, or, known as Gideon the Ninth, the primary cavalier to the Ninth House necromancer. Essentially, this world takes place in a different solar system with its own sun star known as Dominicus as well as nine planets also known as the Nine Houses. 

Each House has a specific specialty for what is known for, and as summarized helpfully, but also overwhelmingly, at the beginning of the novel, the Ninth House is also known as the keepers of the Locked Tomb, House of the Sewn Tongue, and home to the Black Vestals. 

This meant nothing to me at the beginning and quite truthfully, I still struggled to remember throughout the novel who belonged to the Third House, or the Fifth and what that quite meant, as once again, each House has a reputation and expected skill set that precedes them. 

Not to say that it was poorly written because it wasn’t. Muir just has a lot of characters with specific titles and while she actually does quite a good job of categorizing them and helpfully reminding you who is who, I still struggled with just the sheer amount of information and people. 

Normally, this would be a massive criticism, like it was with the cast of characters in Lore but in this case it’s not Muir’s fault. She’s giving me all the information necessary to understand. It was just my brain that struggled trying to recognize and categorize everyone. If anything, I’m excited to re-read Gideon the Ninth and have it sink in like a second skin eventually. 

Having this large cast of characters, the book revolves around each of the Nine Houses (except for the First House) sending their best necromancer, a wielder of both thanergy (death energy) and thalergy (life energy) in the form of a House Adept, someone who is able to wield this kind of energy either in bone magic, flesh magic, or spirit magic. 

In accompaniment, each Necromancer Adept has a primary Cavalier, a trained fighter that is both protector, companion, and often, necessary energy suppliers to their Adept in both horrendous and acceptable ways. 

The goal of these pairs, having been sent to the First planet, is to become a Lyctor, an immortal servant to the Undying Emperor. The catch is that once the Necromancers and their Cavaliers arrive on the First, the shuttle departs and they are trapped in an abandoned, dilapidated, once-regal and great mansion that boasts hundreds of floors, secret doors, and mystery upon mystery. 

Each pair expects a streamlined process to Lyctorhood once they arrive, a methodical procedure, perhaps some training, and ultimately a test. What they don’t expect is a mellow man by the name of Teacher that claims to know nothing about the process himself, but is the overseer of the First. 

What follows is a mind-boggling search to become a Lyctor and unravel the mysteries of the haunted palace. What the pairs don’t expect is the death of their own, gruesome murders at the hand of someone in their very own positions and an evil danger beyond any of their imagination lurking in the mansion. 

This novel was a great concoction of mystery, action, interpersonal relationships, character growth, dazzling descriptions, and world building. 

The world of Dominicus and the Nine Houses is expansive and rich, something that I haven’t been able to sink my teeth into, and not for lack of trying, but because it is so deep and so layered that I simply need to take several bites to get it all down.

The mystery is fulfilling and strangely, to me at least, reminiscent of a game called Danganronpa. If you know what that is, and even if you don’t, it centers around the idea of a murder mystery, but where the killer is one of your own and the mystery is trying to figure out not ony the who, but the why of what they are doing, amongst a slew of other deadly riddles.

Gideon the Ninth is the same. As people continue to get picked off and brutally murdered, as a reader you find yourself trying to puzzle out not only who, but why someone would commit such atrocities and the motivation behind it. 

The plot itself of Gideon the Ninth was extremely satisfying and alluring. There were times where I personally found that novel bogged down with excessive description, but it was usually broken up with Gideon’s personal brand of crass humor, a very much needed breather with the expansive exposition, that, while extremely well done, well researched, and well written, did get a tad boring from time to time for me personally, even if it allowed for clear imagery as well as adding to already well formed world building. 

In addition to the plot, all of the characters were well done and as fleshed out as they could be considering the amount of characters involved. First, even though this is set in a fantasy sci-fi setting, each of the characters seemed realistic and like they could potentially be real people. 

A large criticism of books I often have, especially in YA, is that the characters often come across like caricatures, and not real flesh and blood humans with both positive and negative qualities. 

Each character, some developed more than others, have both flaws and strengths, even the main characters, which I highly appreciated. Not only does it make the story more real and palatable, but it also is just more interesting to read about as it’s actually based in humanity and the nature of human beings rather than some perfect carbon copy of one. 

Gideon as a narrator was hilarious. She was often crass, blunt, horny, humorous and ignorant. But on the other hand, she was also an extremely talented fighter, actually very sweet deep down, forgiving, and loving. 

This mix in a main character was a welcome one in addition to making Gideon feel like a real person, despite all the bone magic and necromancy, and often her thought process and dialogue made me laugh out loud. 

Another main character, Harrowhark Nonagesimus (What a name!) is Gideon’s Necromancer and main companion. She’s bitter, rude, spiteful, and ruthless. She’s also hardworking, intelligent, and stubborn. 

If you’re catching the pattern here, Muir isn’t just writing archetypes and passing them off as characters. She’s writing complex and nuanced personalities that are intriguing and interesting and well developed. 

I could get into the other plethora of characters like Camila, Dulcinea, Palamedes, Magnus, Judith and so on, but this review would be a thousand pages long so I’ll just settle for saying that every character was well done and lovingly crafted and not one of them, even the annoying ones, were characters that I hated. 

One important thing to note was Muir’s writing itself. It was incredible. Such descriptions! Such characterization! Such detail! Such vocabulary! I was supremely impressed with her writing as a whole and often found myself having to look up words that I had never heard of in my life (always a welcome change of pace). I was blown away by her sheet talent and creativity. 

The last two things I have to note might get me in trouble. 

One, the ending for me was...bittersweet. For fear of spoiling someone, I won’t get into details, but I found it both lacking and simultaneously making absolute sense. I wanted both more and yet, found that everything was just enough. It’s hard to put into words, but if you know, you know. 

I do have a slightly sinking feeling though that the ending twist will somehow be undone in the sequel. I don’t know if this is true (although I will eventually find out), and I can’t decide if I’m going to be happy or dismayed by it. 

Such conflicting feelings are in of itself homage to Muir’s skill as a writer and the complexities of her tale. 

Lastly, the one aspect that might get me into the stickiest of predicaments: Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship. I don’t know if I like it or not. On the one hand, I absolutely love it. It's a hate-to-love slow burn, which really is the only way an OTP makes its way into my heart. I love that they’re so different and yet so compatible, one flesh and one blood and all that other nonsense. 

They see each other as equals, as adversaries, and I adore that dynamic in any pairing. I also love the F/F representation of some badass women and that they’re not traditionally attractive and beautiful. 

One of my favorite lines came from the end of the book where Gideon describes Harrowhark’s face as, “bitter” and “hateful”. I just love when characters aren’t conventionally gorgeous and yet beautiful in the eyes of the beholder and all that jazz. 

Now. Onto the problems. 

Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship is kinda...toxic? It grows into something less so, but it definitely starts off that way. I really hate imbalances of power of any kind and Harrowhark definitely has power over Gideon, power that she creully abuses. I asked myself: if Harrowhark was a man and treated Gideon so abysmally for years, and then Gideon eventually forgave him and loved him despite everything, would I think differently?

And the answer is yes, yes I would. 

Is that fair? Probably not. But I can’t help but think how the dynamics change with the two of them being women, and how in my opinion, I think more is forgiven of Harrowhark because of it, even when it’s not deserved. 

Now, Harrowhark is a complex character and has traumas of her own, but I just can’t help but think of all the things she did to Gideon and the things she took away from her and forced her to do and then think of them together and it’s...not great. 

Overall, my feelings on their relationship are complicated (which is a repeated pattern when it comes to Muir’s writing) and I don’t mind that it’s complicated, it makes it interesting, but I also would be bereft to mention it here. I look forward to seeing how it develops and if my feelings change and grow on the matter as well. 

In total, Gideon the Ninth is a fantastic read. It has everything you want inlaid with characters who not only push the plot along, but incentivize you to read more. It has complicated issues and complicated characters, but that means it’s nuanced and complex and juicy enough to bite into. 

Don’t do what I did and wait years for this novel. If you need a good read, you don’t need to look any further and then let yourself be swept along for the necromantic ride. 

Recommendation: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. I mean. Come on people, what more can you ask for?

Score: 8/10 

[livia-dovehallow]

Very very random aks, but I hace seen some ask about tsc gangs and stuff like types of movies they would like, music etc

So I wanted to ask you (if you feel like it) what donyou see the tid gang with social media like? Like which app would each one use, and how will they be :)

This is so interesting... and has taken me much thought. But I think I've narrowed it down.

Will would absolutely be on Tik Tok. Book-Tok specifically, but he would throw in some random videos there too, especially of him pulling pranks on Gabriel.

Tessa would solely be on Book-Tok. Knows nothing of trends because she does not care.

Jem is on Music-Tok and Soundcloud. Just using his free time to enjoy his passion. Very mellowed out. Can be seen in the background of Will's prank videos trying to convince him that pranking his sister's boyfriend isn't entertainment for the masses (the comments say otherwise).

Cecily is on Instagram and Tik Tok. Very online-famous only in the fact that she does not care about what anybody says and posts what she wants and also because she is very pretty but not vain. Posts frequently about pro-feminist content and supporting women. Occasionally posts about Gabriel to show him off, of which he has no understanding how any of this works and refuses to get his own social media account.

Gabriel is not on any platform because he doesn't understand them, but he claims it's because he just doesn't see a need. Also doesn't understand why Will keeps pranking him for "likes"--what even are those?

Gideon is only on Facebook and only because he can post photos of his kids to extended members of the family, especially on his mother's side. Has a professional Twitter account, but has an intern run that for him, as he does not understand the character limits. Was convined to start a LinkedIn, but Charlotte is still showing him the ropes.

Sophie is on Instagram and Facebook. Facebook to speak with Gideon's family and Instagram to stay connected with her own friends. This is where Sophie posts about her family. Her account is private to protect her kids' privacy, but she loves to boast about them there. Just look at how cute little Tommy is!

Charlotte is on LinkedIn and Twitter. Very professional online presence, carefully managed. People are sometimes shocked to learn that her husband is the science guy over on Tik Tok blowing things up.

Henry runs a very popular, goofy little science Tik Tok and YouTube channel. Like a British Bill Nye the Science Guy. Gets easily excited to see kids ask to see different science experiments and explains all about how things work. Every once in a while will throw in how much he appreciates his wife, Lottie, for having the patience to deal with his experiments in the basement.

Jessamine is on Snapchat and Instagram because they are photo-based. Her whole IG feed is selfies and her Snapchat is always her daily life "among boring people." Gets many unsolicited messages from men.

Tatiana is on conspiracy Twitter. Finding all sorts of ways to accuse people of doing things for evil causes. Complains about her brothers often as well, of which Gideon's social media intern is grateful her online name is Blackthorn and not Lightwood...

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

You know, the world isn't divided into Trump supporters and Biden supporters. It's like saying there are only 2 genders and everyone else doesn't exist and isn't valid. There are those of us who think BOTH Trump AND Biden suck! You're a bigot, and your post is of discriminating nature. I expect better from a Star Trek blog. You're a disgrace to ST community. Shame on you. I came for ST, but leaving because of politics. And you should, in fact, get fucked.

Hi, quick question, what the fuck?  I wasn’t even going to respond to this, but I’m laughing so hard I have to. Is this supposed to hurt my feelings? 

Am I supposed to feel bad that the big scary internet user (who is too much of a coward to even confront me directly, and hides behind anon status) is mad at me for being anti-Trump, while they proclaim proudly that they are also anti-Trump? 

Oh no, how will I ever recover. 

Here’s the thing (or several things, rather): I don’t even know which post you’re talking about. I post a lot. You saw (what I can only assume was) a post saying Trump supporters are not welcome here, and you got all offended that I’m attacking you in some way, then immediately turn around and say that you are also anti-Trump, but since I said it publicly I’m apparently evil now?

Does that make sense to you in some way, because if so please explain it to me. I’m very confused. 

So let’s clarify what happened yesterday, because apparently you missed something. Trump and his cronies incited insurrection and an active siege on the capitol because of their continued lies that he won the election. Trump told his idiot followers to march on the capitol and fight. Rudy Giuliani called for “trial by comat.” Trump Jr. said, “These people had better fight for Donald Trump” and “we a coming for you.”  And anyone with a single sane and rational thought in their head saw it coming a mile away. We’ve been predicting this for years. 

So sedition and attempted coup aside, let me break it down for you why Trump supporters are not welcome on my Star Trek blog. 

Trump supporters may not all be outright racist or sexist or xenophobic or capitalist or the like themselves, but they decided none of it was a deal breaker! They all said, “Yeah, that’s fine by me” and gave him power under the assumption that they’d be fine, and who gives a damn about anyone else. 

And I don’t want those people around me, because they don’t give a damn about me or the people I love or the future I’m hoping for or the future Star Trek is about. 

Have you ever seen Star Trek? Do you know what it’s about? Equality, and a better future! Jim Kirk advocated for pro-choice, racial equality, women’s rights, and was anti-xenophobic way back in the ‘60s, pal. The show was revolutionary for showing the first interracial televised kiss, having women in positions of power, advocating for birth control and a woman’s right to choose (”The Mark of Gideon”, anyone?) and for telling xenophobic officers that their bigotry had no place on the bridge. 

And you want to try to tell me that I’m a bigot, and I’m a disgrace to the ST community... because I don’t support Donald Trump and his cronies’ disgusting behavior or attempted coup of our government? 

Good one. I’ll let you know when I stop laughing. 

You’re just a MAGA troll with an orange ass to kiss. You know how I know? You thought you were making a coherent argument by saying, “How dare you say that you don’t like Trump!!11! I also do not like him but I H8 you for saying it!! You monster who does not like Trump (which I also do not)--- I am very anti the Trump man and also the Biden and thus you have reduced my entire identity (which I do not have, because I also hate him) to this singular concept and I am angry-- which I should not be because I do not like him also.”  You agreed with me and still thought you were convincing. So glad we agree; Trump sucks and he can get fucked.

In the meantime, nice try. I haven’t lost any followers in the last week or so; you were never following me. Sure have gained some though! But again, good coherent argument: “They want Trump supporters to leave their blog!?? WELL, I’m LEAVING (even though I was never here)... take THAT!” 

Thanks for listening, I guess? And for the laugh. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. 

[stahlop]

Making a Memory (5/?)

Well, here we are. Chapter 5. This chapter was a beast to write. Hopefully, you'll be satisfied with the answers this chapter provides.

Thanks again to my betas, @profdanglaisstuff and @thisonesatellite. I thought they were going to hack this chapter with a machete. Turns out, they wanted me to add a bit more. So that was amazing to hear.

Check out the banner artwork by @gingerchangeling​. There is also artwork by @mariakov81 at the end of this chapter.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 2 3 4

Ao3

Defeating Gideon had been surprisingly easy, if Emma called sacrificing herself and hoping to God and any other gods that were around that her sacrifice meant she would get to live her Happy Beginning with her family and new husband, despite having just been stabbed in the gut. And thank goodness it was True Love’s Kiss worthy, because Emma really hadn’t wanted to die. And considering that was the final battle, she felt it was the least scary out of everything they’d had to face in the past. The Black Fairy just preened and monologued most of the time, while Gideon had his heart stolen, so she couldn’t blame him for him wanting to kill her (she had immediately asked Belle to put a protection spell on his heart, like Regina had with Henry and she had with Hook after their hearts had been taken, which Belle readily agreed to).

But now life was… well it was normal. And normal was not something Emma Swan-Jones (yes, she was hyphenating) had seen in the past few years. And it was... strange. It was strange living a perfectly normal life with Captain Hook as her husband, who insisted on using the iPad to find healthy recipes for dinner since he knew she would eat Pop Tarts or bear claws for breakfast and Granny’s for lunch. It was weird seeing him just lounging about in sleep pants on the weekends when they weren’t working (thankfully, David still worked weekends for them so they could have time for themselves along with the actual Three Musketeers spread throughout the week, who made pretty good deputies), or taking her and Henry out on the Jolly Roger to go fishing, or any other number of domestic fantasies she’d once had about idyllic life in Maine. What wasn’t strange was after a year of domestic bliss when the stick had shown the words ‘pregnant’ and she hadn’t freaked out about it whatsoever.

Because there hadn’t been any danger in over a year, which was the longest the town had gone since she’d arrived. Nothing, nada, zero, zip, zilch. Just some bad dreams which was to be expected after everything they’d gone through in such a short amount of time. And which had made her and Killian a little more carefree. It wasn’t as if they were getting any younger. She was pushing 32 and Killian was… well, they’d agreed he’d be 36 according to the paperwork Regina had magically made for him. Killian hadn’t taken kindly to being on the closer end of 40, but Emma had insisted that it just made him more worldly, and if they did ever venture outside of Storybrooke, he could freely talk about things he had done in context with his age. And now parenthood was going to be part of that.

“When does it get to the good stuff?” Hope huffed, interrupting Henry’s reading of the epilogue of his book. They were sitting in a tent in the woods only a few miles from where Henry was going to meet their parents later that day. Alice seemed to be having the time of her life, completely enthralled with the sequel to her favorite book, which seemed to be the real life account and love story of their parents and the defeat of multiple villains, until the final battle happened three years after Henry brought her to town. She’d read it the entire drive to the campsite and Hope had discovered she was a very enthusiastic reader. She constantly yelled or gasped or cried at something that happened in the book. Hope had gotten a chance to read much of it last night and the rest when the sunlight filtered into their tent that morning. She’d always been an early riser, unlike her mother and Henry. Hope had to admit it had been a fun adventure tale, (although the first few chapters chronicling the first year Emma had been in the town of Storybrooke had been pretty boring and in the last few chapter everyone seemed wildly out of character), but she wasn’t sure if she actually believed this was a true account of anything, like Alice and Henry did. Henry had insisted that he read the final chapter to them together, so they could understand what had happened.

“Not every chapter needs to be action packed or full of chase scenes.” Henry admonished her. “Besides, don’t you want to hear about what happened after your parents' Happy Beginning?” Alice clapped giddily while Hope rolled her eyes. Henry had always been a bit dramatic growing up, but Hope still couldn’t wrap her head around this whole fairytale business Henry was trying to sell her.

Killian was ecstatic to learn he was going to be a father. Although, after everything he’d been through, the thought of having a child was a little daunting. He’d never imagined he would ever become a father. Of course, he and Milah had discussed it, but having a baby while being a pirate would never have worked. Once she had died he’d never even considered it until he met Emma. And now it had finally come to pass that he was being given the opportunity to become a father. He already knew having a child would be the greatest adventure he’d have in his life.

Of course, when the ultrasound indicated they were not only having a girl, but two of them, Killian’s head went a little fuzzy and he had to sit down with his head between his legs so he wouldn’t pass out (Emma had teased him about it for days after and brought it up to everyone they came across).

Twins!

They were having twins. When he’d finally got his head on straight he picked Emma up in his arms (again reminding her he’d carried rum barrels bigger than her) and twirled her around. He was excited, so excited. Not only was he going to get the chance to be a father, but he’d get to do it twice in one go! His dreams quickly became consumed by little girls with his hair and Emma’s eyes, or Emma’s hair and his eyes. They’d be sailing, play sword fighting, drawing, all the things he wanted to teach them. They quickly agreed on names for the two girls. Alice for his mother and Hope because of everything they had gone through and the hope that had gotten them through. Emma had insisted that they use the names Cleo and Margaret for middle names, to honor two influential women in her life. So, from then on, Baby A became Alice Margaret, and Baby B was Hope Cleo.  For the next few months everything was complete bliss.

When Emma hit her third trimester, her mother, knowing that twins could come early, insisted on hosting Emma a baby shower. Emma agreed on the condition that it was a small affair. No grand balls or carnivals like she was wont to do. And so, on a sweltering hot day in early September, Emma entered Granny’s which had been closed down just for them, to find a large group of women waiting for her. Snow had stayed true to her word and not invited the whole town. Emma was relieved to see many familiar faces, including Ruby and Dorothy who had used the ruby slippers to come to the event, Belle who had brought a two-year-old baby Gideon with her (even though it still freaked Emma out slightly that this tiny child had once tried to kill her), Ashley and Aurora with their broods (they had both added one more child over the past few years), Elsa and Anna, and even Mulan had made the trip, though her girlfriend, Merida, had refused the invitation, Emma couldn’t blame her since she’d only known Emma when she was dark.

Things had been going great. Regina had made her lasagna, much to Granny’s chagrin. Zelena was even giving helpful tips despite Emma having sped up her pregnancy (she reminded Emma that she had done midwifery research when she’d first come to town). It was nice that everyone in town was actually getting along despite the terrifying last few years. Emma really shouldn’t have been surprised when it all went to hell.

Alice gasped so loudly that Hope actually jumped from her seated position on the tent. Her heart had immediately started pounding in her chest.

“Geez, Alice!” Hope said perturbed. “Lighten up. It’s just a story.”

“It’s not just a story.” Alice argued. “We’re reading about our mother. If anything, you should be the one more concerned as you got to actually grow up with her.” She sniffled as her anger gave way to tears. Hope almost wanted to roll her eyes, but she knew how strongly Alice felt about this all being real. Hope still wasn’t sure what Henry’s endgame was here, but she did know that she and Alice were sisters. She knew that with every fiber of her being. But Snow White and Prince Charming were their grandparents? The Evil Queen had cast a spell to bring them all to their land to get her happy ending? Their mother was married to Captain Hook (considering Alice knew her father had a false hand, she seemed quite surprised that’s who their father turned out to be), a former villain turned hero? It all seemed a bit much. She hoped there would be a simpler explanation somewhere down the road, but she was determined to let Henry play out his little fantasy for the time being until he brought their parents to them later that day.

“I’m sorry.” Hope sighed, placating Alice. “Please continue, Henry.”

A swirl of golden smoke appeared in front of them. Emma immediately went on the defensive, a ball of white light forming in her hand. She could see Regina conjuring a fireball at the strange plume of smoke and out of the corner of her eye she saw Granny duck behind the counter for her crossbow.

As the figure in the smoke came into view, Emma took in the mass of dark curls framing an olive face from under a black hood. The woman had big eyes with heavy lids and red lips that almost put Ruby’s to shame. Her burgundy gown seemed out of place for the modern town of Storybrooke, in that it looked like it belonged more in Camelot than even the Enchanted Forest. It was trimmed in the exact same shade of gold that her swirl of smoke had been. Emma realized she’d been staring too long at the woman who had just crashed her baby shower, but she had the overwhelming sensation thrumming through her body that she knew this woman somehow.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Emma growled at the woman who had made no attempt to do anything after her grand entrance. The room had gone impossibly quiet. Even the children who had attended with their mothers weren’t making a peep. Granny still stood behind the counter, crossbow in hand, but she too wasn’t making any comments. Regina still had a fireball ready to go, it’s fire crackling at her fingertips, but nothing else happened.

“I’ve slowed down time.” The woman said with a deep voice, one that seemed as soothing as a lullaby, but chilled Emma to the bone. The voice seemed familiar to her as well, although she couldn’t recall from where. “They can’t perceive what we are doing right now, but that’s why they’re not responding to me and only you know what’s going on.” The woman smirked at her. Emma had the impression she was supposed to be impressed.

She wasn’t.

“I’m only going to ask you one more time.” Emma said, using all her strength to pull her hand back, a ball of magic swirling within. Her other hand instinctively went over her stomach to shield her children. “Who are you and what do you want?”

“Oh, my sweet dear.” The woman said in what Emma assumed was supposed to be a motherly tone. It sounded sweet and calming, but Emma could hear the evil lurking underneath. “Haven’t your dreams told you why I’m here yet?”

A cold chill ran down Emma’s spine as she realized how she knew this woman. She’d been in her dreams!  Floating above her, the woman would chase her through the streets of Storybrooke threatening to take something from her. Something that would…. make the woman stronger, if she recalled the dream correctly..  Emma had dismissed it as an anxiety dream; the woman representing any number of villains that could spring up and ruin her happiness. But here she was, in the flesh, and already Emma had failed to protect anyone around her.

“You asked why I was here.” The woman said, her voice suddenly going from calm and soothing to cold and calculating. It now sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Emma’s ears and she couldn’t suppress another shiver that ran down her body. The woman gave a simpering smile at her. It made Emma sick to her stomach. She still had her magic at the ready though. She was not giving this woman an inch.

“My name is Gothel…”

“Like from Rapunzel?” Emma spoke without even thinking. Gothel turned to her slightly frazzled from Emma’s outburst, but schooled her features back to the smile that creeped Emma out to no end.

“I have never bartered a child for greens, nor kept one in my tower. Nor have I kept a child in my tower to keep my youth.” She said menacingly, her face pinched. “Yes, I have done my research into what your realm thinks of me.” Gothel’s features changed back to look like a woman who would dote on a child rather than hold one against their will. “I am simply an ordinary elemental witch. Content to commune with the four elements and let them use me for what they need.”

Emma did not miss what she had said.

“And what do the elements need?” Emma was quickly losing her patience. And she had to pee. Two babies didn’t leave a lot of room for her bladder.

Gothel smiled at her. “I knew you’d understand.” She practically purred. “It’s not what they need, Emma dear, but what they have told me. Some very disturbing things they have told me, and unfortunately for you, it means that your children are a danger to me.” Her blue-gray eyes flashed almost black. She slowly made her way up behind Emma and spoke directly into her ear.  “This is not a warning, this is an absolute truth. Enjoy what little time you and your children will have together, because I will not let the whispers come true.” And with that Gothel poofed out of the diner in her golden smoke.

Immediately, the patrons of the party sprang back to life, almost speeding up comically. Everyone looked around for whomever had come from the golden smoke, but all they saw was Emma crumpling to the ground holding her stomach and sobbing.

Alice gasped as Henry read the last part and grabbed Hope’s hand, as if the move would comfort her as well. Hope was in no need of comforting. She just wanted to get to the end of the story so she could understand. The story was taking place in early September and Hope knew they were born in late September so there was no suspense if this was supposed to be about their birth. She knew her mother was alive and well, so she knew nothing bad was going to happen to her. This all just seemed... redundant.

She could see Henry staring at her, gauging her reaction. Alice seemed close to tears and Hope couldn’t understand why. She’d never even met her mother.

“So what is this evil supposed to represent, an almost miscarriage? We were born, so obviously everything is okay.” She rolled her eyes at both Henry’s eagerness and Alice’s sadness.

“Wow!” said Henry with a shocked expression that then turned into a smile. “You really are just like mom. She didn’t believe me either.” He looked back down at the book, preparing to continue reading. “Don’t worry, the interesting part is coming up.”

Being at the hospital, not knowing what was happening to her or her babies was the scariest thing Emma had ever faced in her life. And that was saying a lot considering everything she’d faced. But she wouldn’t know how to even look at Killian if they lost their girls. The men had gone out on the Jolly Roger during the party, taking a pleasure cruise, so to speak, so Regina had to poof out to them to let them know what had happened. Killian came rushing into her room, and grabbed her hand, and a fresh wave of tears spilled down her face.

The barrage of questions came from his lips immediately. “Are you okay? Are the babies okay? What did the doctor say? What happened? Is there a new villain? Are you okay?” It actually made Emma’s heart sing, the level of concern he had for her.

“I think I’m okay, same with the babies. Whale just assessed me to make sure I had nothing external wrong. We’re going to do an ultrasound to make sure the babies are good.” She paused for a moment, dragging his hand to her cheek, something that always soothed her. “It seems there is a new villain in town. Her name is Gothel.” He quirked an eyebrow since she had shown him Tangled. Gothel had not been anyone he’d ever come across in his travels, so they’d figured she’d been made up for the story. “She said our babies are a danger to her and she won’t let whatever is supposed to happen, happen. She said this wasn’t a warning. Just the truth.” Her voice started to waiver again.

Killian pressed a kiss to her forehead as she let the tears fall again. How many times was she going to put him through this? How many times was there going to be danger that he could do nothing to prevent from happening? But instead of comforting her some more or telling her everything would be okay like he was prone to do, he stood up, his body vibrating with anger, his hand pulled away and fisted on his jeans.

“I’m going to talk to the Blue Fairy.” He said suddenly. “After Whale tells us that the girls are alright, because they are going to be alright, Swan. This...Gothel... wouldn’t have told you that they’d be a danger to her if they weren’t going to be okay. This was a scare tactic. An intimidation. And I will not have my family worried about some impending doom. We’ve come too far for this to happen now.”  Emma reached for his hook and pulled him toward her.

“Just stay with me for now. We’ll worry about this when we know everything is alright.”

But according to the Blue Fairy it wasn’t alright.

“Well, she’s definitely more than an elemental witch.” Emma and Killian stood in the Blue Fairy’s office, which was covered with large tomes, smaller books, and even a few scrolls.

“So you’ve heard of her then?” Killian asked darkly.

“Yes and no. She goes by many names, Gothel being one of them. Gothel actually means godmother and being an elemental witch means she’s most likely descended from a forest nymph or dryad. Possibly even from Gaia herself.” Emma saw Killian immediately get a worried look on his face.

“I take it Gaia is bad?” Emma asked, suddenly feeling the weight of not finishing high school or going to college coming back to rear its ugly head at her. Killian grimaced and she could see him thinking of the best way to tell her what she was not understanding.

“Gaia means earth in Greek.” He stated plainly. It didn’t take Emma nearly as long to figure out what that meant as she thought it would.

“Wait! You think Gothel is descended from Mother Earth?” she exclaimed.

“I think she’s exactly who she says she is,” the Blue Fairy said before Emma could spiral out. “But I think she’s a lot more powerful than she’s letting on.” She paused and gave a sigh before continuing on. “I found a prophecy in an old book. Probably as old as me. I think it’s the prophecy that Gothel is alluding to, but I need to study it first before I decide if it actually pertains to you. I don’t want to mislead you or give you false hope or false terror if it’s not the correct one.”

Emma wanted to rip the paper out of the Blue Fairy’s to read what it said. She could feel Killian tense up next to her, most likely thinking the same thing. But she calmed herself. How many times had she ‘jumped to conclusions’ before examining all the evidence first? It was one of her biggest flaws when she first started sheriffing and she wasn’t going to start doing it again. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

“Okay.” Emma said, squeezing Killian’s hand to let him know that they needed to let the Blue Fairy do her job. “We’ll trust your judgement. Just let us know as soon as possible so we can come up with some sort of a plan. In the meantime,” Emma said, turning toward Killian. “I’ll put a protection spell around our house, the bug, and the sheriff station.” She turned back to the Blue Fairy. “Do you know of any protection spells we can use on ourselves or the twins?”

The Blue Fairy shook her head. “Unfortunately, protection spells can only protect objects and people within them. And you know from personal experience that they aren’t one-hundred percent effective.” The Blue Fairy said. Emma nodded, remembering her experience with Regina and her mother, Cora, in Gold’s shop years ago.

“Here.” The Blue Fairy said, conjuring up some chalk and pressing it into her hands. “This might help. It’s infused with fairy dust. It may look like glittery chalk, but it’ll have a little more kick to it than a spell and regular chalk.” Emma squeezed it and mouthed a silent ‘thanks’ to the Blue Fairy. Killian gave a slight bow.

“Thank you Lady Blue.” he said before they turned and left.

Hope was about to scream into her pillow. She checked her watch, noting that there was another hour before Henry had to leave to meet her mother and Alice’s father. She wondered if this epilogue would ever get to the point. She still had no clue why she and Alice had been separated and why their ‘parents’ didn’t remember each other. This whole thing was getting more and more absurd by the moment. Now Gothel had been brought into it? She remembered seeing that movie as a kid and not really thinking that Gothel had been a subpar villain compared to some of the other Disney villains out there. She knew in the real version the witch had no purpose for taking the baby except in trade. But in Henry’s version it was seeming like she had no real connection except for a random prophecy. Now she felt like they were veering into Harry Potter territory.

Henry must have sensed her frustration, again, because he paused his reading to stare at her. “I promise, Hope, this will all make sense soon,” was all he said before diving back into the book.

Emma and Killian spent the next few weeks in fear. The twins weren’t due until mid-October and they had no idea if Gothel would come around again. Both Emma and Killian, plus the Blue Fairy, Regina, Gold and David had been trying to figure out where Gothel had come from and how she had gotten into Storybrooke. Once they realized that the waters that came from the well were the same waters in Lake Nostos, Tiny had managed to take some of the burned beans he’d saved from years ago and restore them. They now had plenty of beans to make portals to go all over the realms again, but they were highly regulated by David, Snow, and Regina. People in Storybrooke could travel by portal, but, as far as anyone in town knew, no one from any other realm could travel to them. Usually someone from Storybrooke took a portal to the other realm, gave them a bean and took another portal home. They didn’t want beans falling into the wrong hands and becoming a black market trade item again. Of course, there always seemed to be beans regardless. But, there were only a few select people who knew about Storybrooke. How in the world would Gothel know about them and how in the world would she find them?

While everyone else was working on the Gothel problem, Killian had discovered online that some really rare phenomena were going to be happening in the night sky. “There a Harvest Moon tonight!” he yelled animatedly. “I wonder if it will be orange like a true Harvest Moon or red like the Blood Moon?” Emma loved when he got passionate about astronomy, the man who was once guided by the stars. “It’s also a Super Moon,” He said almost in a teacher-like voice, “because it’s so close to your realm. And….” he paused for what Emma assumed he felt was an even more amazing discovery  “It’s also a lunar eclipse!” Killian grinned widely.  “Even in my hundreds of years, Swan, I’ve never seen anything like this!”. Emma could only hope that she’d be able to stay awake for it.

Killian had just started cooking an early dinner so they could just gaze at the night sky when the first contraction hit.

“Are you okay, Emma?” Killian dropped the mixing spoon and ran over to her.

“I…I think I just had a contraction.” Emma was concerned. The babies weren’t due for another month, but she also knew twins could come early.

“Do we need to head to the hospital?” Killian asked, clearly nervous and concerned.

“No.” She said, kissing him on the cheek. “Water hasn’t even broken yet. Let’s have dinner. Lord knows they won’t let me eat in the hospital while I’m in labor.” Emma was surprised at how calm she was over this. Considering the last time she’d given birth she’d been chained to the bed and not even taken a look at Henry, she was feeling very empowered. Being in charge of her pregnancy the way she wanted to be had a way of doing that. They sat down to eat for their last meal as a family of two (Henry was at Regina’s, but they’d both be at the hospital when they felt it was time to go), when the contractions started ramping up.

“I think it’s time to head to the hospital.” Emma said. Killian grabbed the go bag that they’d packed and headed to his old Jeep Cherokee they’d bought on a trip to Boston.

“That’s what kind of car Papa drives!” Alice exclaimed, interrupting Henry just as the tension was getting good.

Henry smiled at her. Hope was feeling something akin to anticipation. She felt like they were finally getting somewhere in the story with their impending births. She knew that had to reveal something.

“Are you alright, Hope?” Henry asked, concerned. “You’ve been really quiet.”

“I just want to finish the book!” She said through gritted teeth. She really needed to know how this pertained to them, and all of Alice’s disruptions were starting to grate on her nerves.

Henry nodded at her and Alice and continued.

Alice Margaret Swan-Jones arrived at 9:07 on September 27th, 2015. The lights flickered around the hospital on Emma’s final push. Whale had been concerned (once Alice had been bundled up and placed in Emma’s arms) that it could have been Gothel, but Emma assured him that it was most likely her magic, and that the same thing had happened when Henry was born, only she hadn’t been aware it was her magic at the time.

There was a perfect view of the eclipse from the window in their room. Emma and Killian watched as the almost blood red moon traveled across the sky and then disappeared when it was caught in the Earth’s shadow. Emma was glad she had this rare occurrence, plus her new daughter to keep her mind busy while she waited for her other daughter to make her appearance. Hope seemed to be taking her time, and it was making Emma nervous. She knew she could ask Killian to invite Henry and her parents and any other number of people who were anxiously awaiting updates into her room to meet Alcie, but she really wanted to wait until both babies were out. Whale had also started talking about a c-section if Hope didn’t make her presence known soon, as twins usually were born within minutes of each other, not hours. Right as the moon started to peak out from the shadow of the Earth, a huge contraction hit Emma again. It seemed Hope was finally ready.

Hope Cleo Swan-Jones was welcomed into the world at 12:27 on September 28th, 2015. Emma and Killian were astounded when they realized that their girls were born on separate days, but they were just thrilled that they were safe and healthy. Emma had almost hoped her relatives and friends had gone home instead of waiting around, but they were all there, ready to see the newest additions to the Swan-Jones clan.

Henry insisted he be the first to see his new sisters, followed by Snow and David. Even Regina was permitted to hold them, something Emma could see she cherished, being allowed to be part of their family. It was almost three in the morning by the time everyone started to filter out and the Blue Fairy arrived, a look of despair written on her face.

“What is it?” Killian immediately asked. He had Alice in his arms and hugged her protectively.

“The prophecy is as I feared.” She looked down at the floor, almost as if the prophecy she suspected belonged to them was her fault.

“How can you be sure?” Emma asked. She had been drowsy just a few seconds ago, but now it was if caffeine had been put into her IV drip.

The Blue Fairy pulled out a thin piece of parchment from thin air and handed it to them. It was written in an elegant script, something Emma would associate more with a love letter rather than a prophecy.

When the moon becomes red with blood,

And darkness covers the land

Two will be born.

One ere the witching hour and one hind

To conquer nature’s sinister conjurer

By separation will make stronger

And reconciled on the day and night the true harvest moon meets.

Emma read through it several times, not quite understanding. Her mind was swimming from the events of the day and that adrenaline jolt she’d just had was now coming down. She was desperate to know and understand, but she just couldn’t focus at the moment.

“Killian, take Hope.” And she immediately passed out.

“Is it over?” Hope wondered, thinking that was an odd place to end the epilogue.

“Almost.” said Henry, but before continuing on he asked, “Did you understand the prophecy?”

Hope thought about it. “The moon becoming red with blood and the darkness is obviously the Harvest Moon and lunar eclipse,” she said.

“And the witching hour is usually midnight.” Alice interjected. “So it’s saying one would be born before midnight and the other after, just like we were.” But I’m not sure about the rest.” Alice frowned.

“Well then.” Henry said, noting that there were only a few pages left until the book was finished. “Let’s see what we can find out.”

Emma awoke to sunlight streaming in her window and Killian and the Blue Fairy deep in a whispered conversation. At first she was confused about why the Blue Fairy was in their bedroom, but as her arm hit the guard rail of her bed, she remembered that she’d given birth to the twins that night. She quickly turned to see the girls both sleeping soundly in their bassinets to the side of her, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ah! There’s the happy little mother!” Killian whispered loudly and got up to kiss her on the forehead.

“What have you learned?” Emma asked, keen to understand the prophecy and how to defeat Gothel.

“Well, we know this prophecy pertains to us because it mentions the twins and the fact that they’d be born last night on either side of the eclipse during the Harvest Moon. All that business in the sky last night was apparently a welcoming celebration for them.” Killian joked halfheartedly.

Emma shook her head to clear away the last vestiges of sleep that clung to her.

“May I see the prophecy, please?” She asked, holding out her hand for the parchment. The Blue Fairy handed it to her. Both she and Killian tried to say something about it, but Emma put out her hand to stop them. She needed to look at the prophecy and come to her own conclusions before she heard what they had to say.

“Okay. I understand that the first half pertains to our girls, but what about the second half? Nature’s sinister conjurer seems to be a fancy way of saying Gothel. Being separated from something makes her stronger? And what does it mean by a true Harvest Moon?”

Killian stepped forward and took the prophecy back from Emma’s hand. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out, love. The Blue Fairy and I have already hypothesized what it could mean. But, don’t forget, prophecies don’t necessarily mean what you think they mean.” He placed the prophecy down on the side table and took a picture of it with his phone so they could study it more later.

“So what do you hypothesize then?” Emma asked curiously. Her brain was still too muddled to even guess at what the second half could mean.

“Well,” the Blue Fairy began, “judging from her cryptic message at your shower, we think that she thinks your twins can do some damage to her, or vanquish her in some way. Nobody seems to have heard of her in any other realm that I’ve been able to reach out to. And the only Gothel people know of here is the Rapunzel fairy tale, which, from all accounts, seems to have been completely made up and not based in any truth.”

It didn’t make any sense to Emma. Why would a seemingly low-level witch, that didn’t seem to have made any sort of name for herself in either the good or evil camp, want to hurt her children? Why would a prophecy be written about her children defeating this unknown witch, who by all accounts hadn’t done anything to anyone yet?

Yet.

“Have you looked into other prophecies that might pertain to Gothel? Anything about an elemental witch or nature’s sinister conjurer like our prophecy calls her? Maybe she hasn’t turned evil yet. Or maybe this whole thing leads her to turning evil.” Emma said, letting her thoughts take over.

“A self-fulfilling prophecy you mean?” Killian asked. Emma could see his mind working. “Like that Oedipus Rex fellow who killed his own father and married his mother?” Emma laughed at one of the few outside of fairy tale literary references she actually recognized. She was about to say something when a loud wail pierced the air.

“Looks like one of our little ladies has awoken from her slumber.” Killian said, walking over to the bassinet and picking up Alice, who was practically eating her fist.

“She’s hungry.” Emma said, holding out her arms for Killian to put Alice in. The Blue Fairy rose and told them she’d look into other prophecies that might pertain to Gothel. Emma got Alice all ready to nurse when another wail was heard.

“Ready to try and change a diaper?” A nurse said, entering the room. Emma laughed at the horror-stricken look upon Killian’s face.

Hope let out a deep sigh. This epilogue was getting them nowhere, and it was too long. Hadn’t anyone ever told Henry that the epilogue should wrap things up and not bore the reader? But Henry wasn’t paying attention to her, nor was Alice. They were totally engrossed in the story that Henry was reading. Hope checked her watch and noticed that Henry would need to leave in half an hour. She really hoped the story would be finished by then, though that seemed impossible at this rate.

It was two years before Gothel made herself known again.

Two years in which the twins learned to crawl, and walk, and talk, and gained teeth, and grew hair, and had their own little personalities.

Two years in which Snow insisted on getting as many pictures of the girls as possible in matching outfits that she insisted on buying for them.

Two years of Henry writing down every small story that happened and filling books as the author.

Two years of silence in which Gothel was almost forgotten.

Almost.

It was a month after the twins turned two that the Blue Fairy started hearing whispers from the Enchanted Forest about a new evil that had taken root. Just small things at first, nothing she even felt was necessary to tell Emma and Killian about. A spark that ignited a forest fire, but no casualties. Spells that seemed to have gone wrong leading to bad weather, or higher or lower  tides that affected the lands. But then, the reports escalated to the decimating of crops, the killing of livestock, the burning of entire forests. It seemed the ‘elemental’ witch was using the elements to drive out the citizens of what she was now calling ‘her’ forest.

Emma had started having nightmares about her daughters being taken away from her, or trapped in a tower that she couldn’t reach. The worst were the dreams where she and Killian and the twins were separated and she couldn’t find them all to put their family back together. She would cling to Killian crying while he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, reminding her that they were safe, while showing her their sleeping girls in their cribs through the baby monitor.

After one such night, Emma and Killian were rudely awoken by a pounding on their front door. This immediately set the twins off, which is why Emma was very rude when she flung the door open.

“WHAT THE….” she started, but then saw the Blue Fairy standing before her looking as though she hadn’t slept in weeks. Her clothes were wrinkled, her eyes had purple circles around them, and her usually neat and tidy hair looked like she’d stuck her fingers in an electrical socket.

“I’ve figured it out.” She said, not waiting for an invitation into the house, but just barging in and heading to the kitchen table.

Emma looked perplexed as Killian came in holding both girls on either side of him. He handed Hope to Emma while he put Alice in her high chair.

“Figured out the prophecy?” Killian asked, gathering items to make breakfast for them all.

The Blue Fairy nodded.“Everything! Who Gothel is. Why she’s after you. Why we haven’t been able to find anything about her previously!” Emma barely remembered to place Hope in her high chair before sitting down, her mind whirling.

“I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out why and how she came to you two years ago, when she was unknown to anyone. It didn’t make any sense. Even the prophecy I found was written by a seer only a few months before Gothel came to you. And then there was only recent happenings that suggested that Gothel was fairly new, so I went to the Enchanted Forest and consulted with an Oracle.” She paused, Emma inferred, to collect her thoughts.

“The Gothel that came to see you was much more powerful than the Gothel that is currently trying to terrorize the Enchanted Forest. She was able to cross realms and slow down time. Not even Regina or the Dark One at the heights of their power could do something like that. Rumplestiltskin had to get Regina to curse the entire Enchanted Forest in order to cross realms. Gothel, at this point and time does not have the capability to do this.” Hope banged on her tray, startling them all.

“You’re saying at this point and time.” Killian said as he cracked eggs for breakfast. Emma had to admire how he could stay so domestic while being told about someone who was trying to harm their children. “I’m assuming that’s not just for dramatic effect.”

“You would be correct. The Gothel that visited you came from the future. That child she bartered for in her story? Used to make the same kind of time traveling spell Zelena attempted to do. According to the Oracle, she’s been studying up on you and your family ever since she came into possession of the prophecy and figured out who was going to destroy her. It seems she’ll become quite the vicious ruler, even worse than Regina, if that’s possible. She’s trying to recover the land of her foremothers by ridding it of all humans. It seems our theory about her being a descendent of Gaia is true and she’s reclaiming Gaia’s land for all elemental witches because we have destroyed it too much for her liking.”

Emma tried to wrap her head around what the Blue Fairy was telling her. A very sizable foe had traveled back in time for the express purpose of warning her that her daughters were a threat and that she would be coming after them because of a prophecy. She knew she must be missing something, because she was feeling very much like Harry Potter learning about why Voldemort had attacked him as a baby, but having not understood that he fulfilled the prophecy just by going after Harry. Had Gothel shown her hand by warning them?

“So, what does all this mean?” Killian asked, bringing over a bowl of scrambled eggs to the table on top of plates for everyone. He scooped some onto the girls trays and then plated some for himself and Emma, the Blue Fairy shaking her head when he offered her some.

“It means she’s going to try and separate us all at some point, according to the prophecy.” Emma said matter-of-factly.

A grim mood settled over them, the twins too young to understand happily eating their eggs with their hands.

The Blue Fairy bid them farewell and promised she’d do more research into how to avoid the prophecy, but Emma knew that prophecies were usually unavoidable, but could often be circumvented to a degree.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

It was the next day when Gothel came back. Emma, Regina, and the Blue Fairy used all the magic they could to keep her at bay, but her magic was much too strong. She had all four elements on her side to work with, and their magic was not enough to defeat the original source of magic.

After weeks of Gothel beating the town down with rainstorms, hurricanes, carnivorous plants, and almost anything else from nature that could be thrown at them, it was Regina who finally had the idea for them to leave Storybrooke. Gothel’s magic wouldn’t work outside of the town. Emma was adamant that they stay and fight. She couldn’t leave the people that she loved to fight this witch without her. But even her parents begged her to get out of town after weeks of Gothel attacking them. They’d holed up in Regina’s crypt, protected by blood magic, the one type of magic Gothel didn’t seem to be able to break. But because of the high price blood magic required, they couldn’t use it to protect the whole town.

“It’s the only way, Emma,” Snow and David pleaded with her. “We can let you know when we’ve defeated her or figured out how you and the girls can defeat her. Please.” Snow was crying into Emma’s shoulder. Seeing how much her parents were scared for her finally got her to change her mind. She and Killian packed up all they could into her tiny, yellow bug and into Killian’s Jeep. They would head out of town the next morning. Henry insisted on coming with them, much to Regina’s chagrin. But he was 17 and wanted to see more of the world and help protect his little sisters.

Emma was reminded of their goodbyes at the town line when Pan had cursed the town and she and Henry had to leave while everyone went back to the Enchanted Forest. Only this time, she had her husband and children with her, and the Snow Queen’s Scroll to get them back in when the threat of Gothel was gone. She would still be able to talk to her family and friends on the phone, or even video chat. Everything was going to be okay.

Emma had Hope and Henry waiting in the Bug, while Killian had Alice in his Jeep. They were about to cross the town line when Gothel appeared, floating in front of them. She threw a bolt of her magic below her directly onto the town line stopping them in their tracks, cackling the whole time.

“You think you can run from me and my magic?” She threw her head back in a shriek, her black curls whipping all around her in a black halo.

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Emma wondered if Gothel had slowed down time again, but she realized it was just the fear of the moment. Emma got out of the car, her magic crackling in her hands.

“This ends now!” Emma said angrily. She was tired of this. Tired of the fear that had hung over them for so long. She just wanted to defeat this bitch and go back to her normal life.

“You wanted to separate yourselves from your family to defeat me, fine! I’ll make sure you are separated from everyone. No one will even remember you were here.” And with that she pulled out a bottle from her dress pocket and uncorked it.

“No one here will remember you and you won’t even remember each other.” The liquid from the bottle had begun to bubble and golden smoke started to pour forth from it. “This whole town will never remember the Swan-Jones family. And you will only know who you leave town with.” Emma’s eyes widened with realization that if they left town she wouldn’t know Killian or Alice, and they wouldn’t know her, Hope, and Henry.

“Emma, Killian, you have to leave!” Regina shouted at them. Snow and David nodded in agreement, tears streaming down their faces. “The prophecy says you’ll defeat her, somehow you’ll figure it out, even without your memories. Now go!”

Emma and Killian looked at each other, both of them now realizing that they would not know each other once they crossed the town line. That their love story would not get a happy ending. And that their twins would both grow up without one of them.

“I love you, Swan.” Killian said from where he stood next to the Jeep, his hand on the handle ready to get back in. “Never forget that.”

Emma nodded, tears streaming down her face. “I love you too. We will have our happy ending.” They smiled at each other, not even having enough time for one last kiss. Emma sat herself in the front seat and the both drove through the golden fog over the town line together.

Emma only vaguely remembered the Jeep that kept up with her most of the way on her trip down to Boston. She was too concerned with how worried Henry seemed to be about their move, probably still reeling from Neal’s death a few weeks prior. She hoped their move to a new place would help him find the peace that he so desperately sought.

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @cssns @itsfabianadocarmo @xsajx  @qualitycoffeethings @snowbellewells

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The League of Evil Exes

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the greatest cult classics of the 2010s for a wide variety of reasons: it had great performances, it got a video game adaptation that didn’t suck, it had an awesome soundtrack, and best of all, it apparently ruined an entire generation of women! What couldn’t this movie do (besides make a profit at the box office)? Of course, more than anything, this movie delivered on the promise of its premise by having Scott Pilgrim fight against the seven evil exes of his manic pixie dream girl Ramona Flowers.

That’s right: There’s not one, not two, not three, but seven villains to talk about in this movie!

Thankfully, this massive amount of villains makes it a lot easier to talk about them, because each of them basically gets only a single scene with which to establish their characterization and deliver a fun, exciting battle. Still, it’s pretty interesting to look at them, especially since not all exes are created equal. As a note, I’m obviously not doing a “Best Scene” for these guys because... they basically have one scene each. It would be redundant.

Motivation/Goals: The League of Evil Exes has a very simple goal: to control the future of Ramona’s love life. As Lucas says during his battle with Scott: “The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?” This is especially funny because Lucas is probably the least evil of the lot. While this is an incredibly simple motivation, it fits with the tone of the movie; this is a sort of a Bowser-esque motivation, one that perfectly fits a movie that is so steeped in video game culture.

Performance: Lets go one by one here:

Satya Bhabha is the first of the evil exes, Matthew Patel, and he really eases you into what to expect for the rest of the evil exes, though here “eases you into” means “grabs you by the balls and swings you over the head like a chimpanzee.” Despite his meager screentime, he makes the most of it, delivering a Bollywood-esque musical number complete with fireballs and demon hipster chicks and generally just hamming it up. This right here is just a warmup, though, because things get crazier from here – just like in a video game, really.

Lucas Lee, the second evil ex, is a big-shot movie star regarded as a pretty good actor by all who see him. Unfortunately, they got some unknown weirdo named Chris Evans to play him, but casting this obscure indie actor certainly paid off, because Lucas Lee’s smug, over-confident portrayal combined with his affable nature make him one of the most enjoyable characters in the movie. He really comes off as a cool, cocky guy who just happens to be going up against our hero as opposed to being an actual antagonizing force.

Todd Ingram is the other best evil ex, and much like Lee it’s mostly because he’s a pretty nice guy. However, the key difference is while Lee was cocky and affable, Ingram is just kind of a ditz. Played by one-time Superman Brandon Routh, he opts to go for the more subuded route, a cold ham as opposed to a large ham, and he definitely makes it work; I did call him the OTHER best evil ex, after all.

Then we come to Roxy Richter, played by Katara herself, Mae Whitman. She’s a very angry, tomboyish lesbian who gets in a lot of great lines and shows off a very jaded, irritated personality in her limited screentime. She’s definitely a lot of fun, though apparently she has a lot of elements of Envy Adams due to being combined with an early idea to make her Ramona’s evil ex in the movie.

The Katayanagi Twins. Ken and Kyle, are… nothing. Because Keita and Shota Saitou (Kyle and Ken, respectively) did not speak English, the twins have no lines and don’t really get to establish much of a presence before dying. It’s a bit unfortunate, because it becomes really easy to forget these two are here as a result.

Gideon Gordon Graves is a smarmy, smug, condescending jackass. You have met a man like him before, and you have wanted to punch his face in. Jason Schwartzman really amps up the sleaze when playing this creepy, controlling bastard, making him a fitting final boss.

Final Fate: Each and every one of them is defeated by the end of their scenes, bursting into progressively larger amounts of coins, with Patel being pretty meager in terms of value and Gideon literally making it rain when he’s defeated. It does kind of feel weird that the twins are worth more than a beloved actor like Lucas Lee, or that Roxy is worth more than both Lee and a musician like Ingram, but frankly this isn’t really a movie where you should be overthinking stuff to begin with.

Best Quote: I don’t think I can really say Patel or Gideon have amazing, quotable lines to the extent as some of the others, but I’d be pretty remiss to not mention Todd’s legendary “...Chicken isn’t vegan…?” and Roxy’s equally legendary “Well honey… I’m a little bi-FURIOUS!” here. Lucas Lee has a lot of good lines but he’s quite frankly too consistent for me to pick one; Chris Evans really just went all-out for this one.

Final Thoughts & Score: Once again, let’s go one by one:

Matthew Patel

Matthew is the definition of a warmup boss, at least by the standards of this film. He brings a lot of insanity to the table all at once, what with his demons and Bollywood musical number and sick dance moves, but the fact he’s probably not the most insane and baffling character in the film really tells you something. He definitely makes the most of his screentime, and while his fight is relatively short, it’s a lot of fun. This man deserves an S-L-ICK 8/10.

Lucas Lee

Lucas Lee is probably the second best evil ex in the movie. He’s just so cocky, arrogant, and hilarious, and he still manages to come off as a bit polite. Its like if Captain America and Ransom Drysdale had a baby, Lucas Lee would be it. The fact he’s played by a pre-superstardom Chris Evans really is the icing on the cake here though, because his battle is fun and ends with Scott defeating him by playing into his arrogance. Ah! But he didn’t get his autograph… Oh well. Lucas Lee is an easy 10/10.

Todd Ingram

As much as I love Lee, I have to say that Todd easily has the most impressive fight in the entire film, in large part due to his awesome psychic powers he gains from being a vegan. I gave one of his legendary quotes up there, but frankly, the entire battle is awesome and quotable, the fact that at least half the battle is a rock-off is great, and the fact Scott tricks him in the most stupidly amazing to defeat him and put him at the mercy of the Vegan Police is just amazing. There’s also just the sheer novelty of how, with the power in hindsight, we got to see Superman (Routh) dating Captain Marvel (Brie Larson portrayed Envy, Scott’s ex and Todd’s girlfriend and bandmate). Todd is just a perfect, lovable idiot villain, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.

Roxy Richter

Roxy actually gets to show up twice in the film, getting a brief scene with Scott a while before her identity is revealed. While her screentime doesn’t really amount to much, it really is incredible how much characterization they managed to pack into her limited screentime, her dialogue really selling how she is easily the most bitter and angry off all the exes. She seems genuinely hurt at some points that Ramona left her and considers her just a phase, though this of course doesn’t stop her from trying to ruin her life. In a weird way, I’d almost call her the most complex of the exes, and Mae Whitman does a great job at selling her. I will say though, despite her fight scene being filled with some of the best dialogue in the film (which is saying a lot, mind you), the overall fight is a little lackluster, and Ramona getting in makes it reek of “designated girl fight.” Still, there’s nothing so egregious about her that I’d give her anything less than a 9/10.

The Katayanagi Twins

These two, quite simply, suck. They get absolutely no characterization, they get no dialogue due to the actors not speaking English, they get no personality. They are, quite simply, just there, and they are just there because Scott needs to fight a fifth and sixth ex. There’s really not much to say here except that their fight scene is admittedly pretty cool and it’s fun to imagine how the hell their relationship with Ramona worked. Did they date her one after the other? Were they in a weird poly relationship? Did they both just spitroast her on the weekends? For those two things I’ll save them from the very bottom of the barrel and give them a 2/10.

Gideon Gordon Graves

Gideon is a smug, evil, controlling creep for sure, and he is the final evil ex Scott must face. But the thing is, he kind of doesn’t feel any more wieighty than any of the others? Gideon is for all intents and purposes the final boss, and while he does get a little buildup, it all comes in the final acts of the film. It certainly doesn’t make him a bad villain – he actually manages to temporarily kill Scott, and puts up more of a fight than any of the others – but considering how awesome Todd, Lucas, Roxy, and Matthew were in style and personality, Gideon kind of comes off as underwhelming. Yes, he is definitely the most evil of the exes, but he just doesn’t really have the “WOW” factor the others do. He’s an 8/10 for sure.

Well, I guess that’s it, that’s every villain in the mo-

Wait?

What’s this?!

Psycho Analysis: Nega Scott

…

[starstuffandalotofcoffee]

You mentioned earlier that you'd be willing to give book recs? If you still are, what would you recommend for fantasy/sci-fi not about straight white guys? Got a lot of recs for those already.

while I take umbrage with your url, I have many recommendations! In fact, most of the sci fi and fantasy books I have read as of late feature nonwhite and/or LGBT characters and many are not written by straight white guys either, which tends to help. Here’s an incomplete list thereof. Other people looking for recs, this is a pretty broad list ranging from fairly classic fantasy to modern urban fantasy to a couple different forms of sci fi, so you can probably start here.

Currently I’m reading the Foundryside series by Robert Jackson Bennet (I read book 1, I’m mostly through book 2, I don’t think book 3 is out yet) which is best described as cyberpunk, but in an otherwise low-tech fantasy world. The plot and themes are great, the characters are great, the exposition in the first book is a bit heavy-handed like dude we get it you program but the second book is much tighter. Most of the characters are described as being nonwhite, and the main character of the first book (who’s still a major character in the second; it’s just more of an ensemble) is a wlw. Note: I  think these are the only books on this list written by a white guy, so again, look for women and LGBT and nonwhite authors and often they will make characters who are like them.

N. K. Jemisin is a good author not only to read but to follow in that as one of if not the most prominent black sci fi/fantasy authors she makes recommendations of other authors and pushes for recognition (basically, her point is that she did not come in to take Octavia Butler’s seat and you can have more than one black woman writing sci fi). The City We Became is based on a phenomenal short story that she wrote, about the city of New York coming to life through various human avatars; almost all are nonwhite and several are gay, bi, or lesbian (there’s a minor supporting trans character who I hope gets a larger role in the next of the series but the first book just came out). The Broken Earth trilogy is maybe one of my favorite series I’ve read in the last few years; most of the characters are black and a decent number are LGBT.

Speaking of Octavia Butler, most of her characters are black and she’s also just a modern classic sci fi writer for a reason. I’ve only really read short stories (the Bloodchild collection), the Patternist series, and Kindred. She does dip into horror themes at times and I respect if people aren’t into that, but she was a brilliant author. Most of her characters are black and The Patternist series includes shapeshifter characters who have romances with people of various genders.

I was frustrated by the pacing in The Priory of the Orange Tree, but not the characters. The worldbuilding could also stand to be a little better in that it’s clearly like, Europe and Asia of our world circa 1600-ish but with different names for things and also some magic. Plenty of nonwhite characters, some lesbian romance. (Author is Samantha Shannon).

You have probably seen stuff for Gideon The Ninth on Tumblr and for good reason; it’s very good. The tagline on Tumblr is often Lesbian Space Necromancers which is true but also it’s just incredibly funny and dark and well-written. (Author is Tamsyn Muir).

You may have also seen things for the Shades of Magic series on Tumblr; it’s a really cool conceit, one of the two main characters is a woman, and there is significant gay romance among the supporting characters. It’s got epic battle vs. evil for the soul of the universe stuff as well as interdimensional portals but also pirates and the elemental magic olympics, somehow. I do feel sort of ambivalent about the author saying one character is likely genderfluid but doesn’t know that it’s an option because on the one hand I do not like the author saying things and it counting as representation, but on the other said character comes from early 1800s London and this would not be an unreasonable way for them to feel. (Author is V. E. Schwab)

The Raven Tower is super interesting and I only read it because my mother had it out of the library when I was home for Thanksgiving and she said ‘here you might like this’. It’s sort of a retelling of Hamlet, it’s got weird deity lore (which I happen to love in fantasy), and the main character is trans. (Author is Ann Leckie).

A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet is sci fi and while there are challenges and real plot involved it’s just like...kind of a fun adventure book? I just remember finding it fun, despite the seriousness of elements of the plot, and I say this as someone who often does like a good epic good vs. evil plot but it’s kind of nice to read a book where the hardships are like, needing to fuel your spaceship in a weird place. Some of the human characters are nonwhite (I’m of the opinion that aliens don’t really count as representation), and several characters are not straight. (Author is Becky Chambers).

The Golem and the Jinni is about the early 1900s immigrant experience in lower Manhattan, but through the eyes of a golem woman living in the Jewish community and a jinni in the Syrian community who become friends due to being displaced magical beings. (Author is Helene Wecker).

Alif The Unseen is by G. Willow Wilson of Ms. Marvel fame and is a technological fantasy novel that takes place in an unspecified Middle Eastern country in roughly the modern day. It came out in 2012 and was clearly (and thoughtfully) influenced by the Arab Spring of 2011; most characters are Middle-Eastern or South Asian Muslims.

Finally on this list, though not of the many books one could read, Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand is by Samuel R. Delany, a gay black man, and while it’s been a couple years since I read it it was so brilliantly written and different than a lot of space sci fi that I’ve read and it hit me in such a way that I keep meaning to reread it. The main characters are also black gay men.

[swanqueeneverafter]

The Once & Future Queen Pt.28

Fortress of Ismere. Present. Morgana's Bedchamber. (A raven arrives with a message for Morgana. As it lands on the window sill, Morgana rises from her bed and walks over to the window. Unfurling the message, she reads the hastily written note. 'They're coming, you must leave.' Morgana allows herself a small smile before turning on her heel and rushing from the room.) Storybrooke. Dr. Hopper's Office. (Reaching into his filing cabinet, Archie pulls out a patient file and turns to speak with his guests.)

Archie: "So, Maria has magic and you're worried about what that may mean for her future?" Regina: (Nods:) "We know our daughter is being targeted." Archie: "Well I must say I'm surprised you're seeking my advice as you've had no problem defending yourselves and others from the evils of this world before now?" Emma: "That's just it, this time we believe it's different. We think that maybe Morgana has plans to kidnap Maria and take her power somehow?" Archie: "I see." Regina: "The truth is we don't know what she wants and the thought of our child being in danger..." Archie: "Have either of you spoken with David and Snow about this? They know better than anyone what it's like to have their child... oh." (Archie stops talking as he realises what he was about to say.) Regina: "It's okay, Archie. You’re right, Snow and David do know what it's like to have their child be in danger, because of both me and Zelena. (Looks to Emma:) Maybe this is my past finally catching up with me?" Emma: "No, don't think like that. This is not some karmic justice we're talking about here. Morgana is just some crazed lunatic intent on fulfilling her so-called destiny and thinks our daughter might be the key to that." Archie: "Actually, from the little I know about Morgana, it sounds as though her childhood, while far from uncomfortable, was spent seeking acceptance from those around her. Particularly her father, Uther." Regina: "So, what are you saying?" Archie: "This is merely a theory of course but, maybe Morgana doesn't wish to harm Maria but rather raise her as her own?" Emma: "Kinda like the Black Fairy did with Gideon?" Regina: "That sounds like a bit of a stretch to me. Even if that were true, that's far from reassuring. (Stands and begins pacing the room:) All we know for sure is that Morgana vanished without a trace over ten years ago. If her plan is to take Maria and disappear, we may never see her again." Emma: "But, like you said, we don't know that's what she wants." Archie: "Well, I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you both." Emma: (Nods:) "We're just looking for as many different opinions as we can get." Regina: "I guess we're not used to feeling so vulnerable." Archie: "That's completely understandable. A child changes everything." Regina: (Gives a small smile:) "Yes, they do." Emma: "And, er... I also wanted to thank you for looking out for Regina while I was away. She told me you two talked and I appreciate it." Regina: "Me too." Archie: (Smiles:) "That's what I'm here for." Fortress of Ismere. (Mordred and Morgana share a meal before they depart.) Mordred: "And you're sure the one who sent you the message can be trusted?" Morgana: "What does it matter? Whether Lancelot and his soldiers are coming or not, our time here must come to an end." Mordred: "It matters because at least here we are safe. It is a fortress after all." Morgana: "I've made my decision." Mordred: "I can see that." Morgana: (Suddenly cold:) "And what is that supposed to mean?" Mordred: "Only that when there are two clear choices in front of us, you sometimes choose the wrong path." Morgana: "I see. So this is about the child again?" Mordred: "That child is the key to unlocking untold power-" Morgana: (Yelling:) “I am a High Priestess!” Mordred: (Rolls his eyes:) “Morgana.” Morgana: “I have the power of the heavens in my hand and yet Merlin continues to defy me! He is the one we should be focusing our combined efforts towards, not some innocent child.” Mordred: “Calm yourself.” Morgana: “I want his annihilation, Mordred. I want to put his head on a spike and watch as the crows feast on his eyes.” Mordred: “And I believe if we had the child we could accomplish that and much, much more. If we took her to the place Morgause brought you all those years ago, maybe-” Morgana: “Maybe what?” Mordred: “Well, there are rumours that Morgause had a hand in turning you against your former friends and allies in Camelot. Be it through torture or-” Morgana: “My sister cared more for me during my years in exile than almost anyone else in my life ever has.” Mordred: “And yet it was not she who taught you that ‘the love that binds us is more important than the power we wield’, was it? (Smirks:) You forget, Morgana, I know your secrets.” Mordred: “Hm. And here I thought you were the one who had forgotten. Forgotten that I am the one who saved your life all those years ago. Whatever you may think you know about me, Mordred, don’t make the mistake of believing you hold power over me.” Mordred: “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Morgana: (Glares at him and then slowly, a smile crosses her lips, a plan forming in her mind:) “Oh, my dear Mordred, I believe you’ve just given me a wonderful idea.”

King Richard's Former Kingdom. (In an attempt to demonstrate his credentials for Mayor of Storybrooke, King Richard accompanies David and Snow White while they visit the kingdom he used to rule before Valencia.) King Richard: "Finally, I return home to my old kingdom. Now I realise they’ve long moved on, but I still hold some star power around here and I can't wait to just let my people adore me. (Letting him walk on ahead, Snow and David exchange wearisome looks:) Ah, here we are.” Snow White: “What are we looking at?” King Richard: “This... (Turns in a slow circle in what is now merely an open field:) Is where my castle used to be. (David and Snow follow as Richard marches across the field, pointing in all directions:) This was a hallway! Hallway, hallway, hallway, my room, fireplace! This is where I kept my formal crowns, my casual crowns, my ‘just for fun’ crowns.” David: “Okay, are we done? Because we really do need to get back and start interviewing other candidates.” King Richard: “Oh, relax, Chiseled Chin. We haven’t even met the villagers yet.” Village. (Richard and the Charmings enter the village looking for people to talk with.) King Richard: “You know, it’s the strangest thing... This place always seems oddly familiar to me.” David: (Mutters to Snow:) “That’ll be because they built the village from sections of the castle.” King Richard: (Calling out to a passerby:) “I say, peasant, we have a few questions, and please don't get all star-struck because I'm speaking to you directly.” Peasant John: “No way! It's you!” King Richard: “I know. You're flustered.” Peasant John: “Guys, look, it's Snow White and Prince Charming!” (A small crowd gathers.) Snow White: (Smiles and waves:) “Hello.” David: (Awkwardly:) “Hi.” Peasant John: “What a thrill!” King Richard: “Is there perhaps someone else here you recognize? Maybe... Your former king?” Peasant John: “Oh, yeah. (Nonplussed:) Hiya.” King Richard: (Undeterred, addresses the crowd:) “Greetings, lowly ones! It is I, King Richard! I have returned! Good to see you again.” A Short Time Later. (Snow and David are now speaking with Peasant John.) Snow White: “So, perhaps you could tell us what lead to your decision to-” Peasant John: “Tear down the castle to make homes and shops for everybody? (Snow and David nod as Richard rejoins them:) Oh, well, here's the thing. (Leaning casually on Richard:) When you left us to go in search of the Jewel of Valencia, we didn't hear anything for a really long time.” King Richard: “All right, as I’ve said before, that was on me. (Lifts John’s arm gently off his shoulder:) I should've sent word.” Peasant John: “Yeah, but while you were away, we realized that a king is only a king if the people say he is.” (Richard turns to Snow and David and chuckles.) Peasant John: (Continues:) “And if they don't, well, he's just a man with a metal hat who's only in charge because his father wore a metal hat before him, which is pretty crazy if you think about it.” (The crowd laugh.) David: (Considers this:) “You know, he's... He's got a point. It is pretty crazy.” Snow White: “So are you calling my father crazy? Hmm?” David: “Er... please continue with your story, John.” Peasant John: “So, then we came together and asked ourselves ‘what if there was a different way of doing things? A better way? A fairer way?’” King Richard: “Oh, no. I know what's coming.” Peasant John: ♪ We've been trying something new in the dominion ♪ ♪ Since you went away ♪ ♪ With no king upon the throne ♪ ♪ We've all been left alone ♪ ♪ To build a new tomorrow here today ♪ King Richard: (Sighs:) “Right.” Peasant John: ♪ What if every single soul with an opinion ♪ ♪ Got to have their say? ♪ ♪ If on every point of note, we simply took a vote ♪ ♪ We'd build a new tomorrow here today ♪ David: “So, the butcher gets a vote?” Peasant John: “Yep!” Snow White: “The baker gets a vote?” Peasant John: “Yep!” ♪ And everyone who couldn't vote before ♪ Butcher: ♪ Except, of course, the women ♪ Baker: ♪ And we won't let him or him in ♪ (Points to two men behind him:) Peasant John: ♪ We mean everybody else ♪ Merchant: ♪ Except the poor ♪ Peasant John: ♪ Then we vote on every pressing public question ♪ ♪ Either ♪ Crowd: “Yay!” Peasant John: ♪ Or ♪ Crowd: “Nay!” David: “Nice.” Peasant John: ♪ Everybody gets to choose ♪ ♪ Except the you-know-whos ♪ ♪ As we build a new tomorrow here today ♪ Crowd: ♪ Every person counts the same ♪ ♪ Except, of course, the lame ♪ ♪ And the lepers ♪ ♪ And the gingers ♪ ♪ And the witches ♪ ♪ And the Heathens ♪ ♪ And the bastards ♪ ♪ And the Gypsies ♪ ♪ And the commies ♪ ♪ And the hippies ♪ ♪ As we build a new tomorrow ♪ Peasant John: ♪ A fair and square tomorrow ♪ Crowd: ♪ A more aware tomorrow here today ♪ ♪ So, we all will march together towards the future ♪ Peasant John: ♪ Well, not all per se ♪ ♪ Just the ones who look like me ♪ Crowd: ♪ It's called democracy-y-y-y-y ♪ ♪ The landed ♪ ♪ And the wealthy ♪ ♪ And the pious ♪ ♪ And the healthy ♪ ♪ And the straight ones ♪ ♪ and the pale ones ♪ ♪ And we only mean the male ones ♪ Peasant John: ♪ If you're all of the above, then you're ok-a-a-a-ay ♪ Crowd: ♪ As we build a new tomorrow ♪ ♪ Here tod-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ay ♪ David: “Well, that is intriguing... you know if the curse hadn’t happened and Regina didn’t destroy our castle, do you think what happened to Richard would’ve happened with us?” Snow White: (Not wishing to think about it:) “Oh be quiet, David!” David: (Watching her walk away:) “Touchy.”

Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. (Stopping by the diner for some takeout, Regina goes to place their order of two grilled cheese sandwiches while Emma spots Rumplestiltskin sitting alone in a booth.) Emma: "How many times have you glued that thing together over the years?" Rumplestiltskin: "More than I can remember. Certainly much more often now that Gideon's discovered his new favourite game of throwing his dinner across the room." Emma: "Hm. I shouldn't worry, he'll probably grow out of it in say ten or twelve years." Rumplestiltskin: (Chuckles, holding up the cup:) "I'll take this over raising a child with magical powers any day." Emma: "So you've heard." Rumplestiltskin: "It's a small town, Emma, and I make it my business to know what's going on with my granddaughter." Emma: (Sliding into the booth across from him:) "All right, Grandpa, what would you do about it?" Rumplestiltskin: "I'm not sure someone who spent centuries in pursuit of power would be your best choice for advice." Emma: "Oh I don't know. Despite what you claim, when you orchestrated the curse, you made me the Savior. Both Regina and I have our magic because of you." Rumplestiltskin: "That magic was inside each of you all along, I merely stoked the embers and fanned the flames." Emma: "Whatever. My point is you know how it feels to have your magic taken from you. Both as a child and an adult." Rumplestiltskin: (Nods:) "When my Savior powers were taken from me it lead me to the Darkness." Emma: "So, if it were Gideon, what would you do?" Rumplestiltskin: "Ah, well fortunately as you know, Belle and I have firsthand experience dealing with Gideon's magic. If you're looking for my honest opinion..." Emma: (Scoffs:) "No, lie to me." Rumplestiltskin: "Raise the child, not the problem. Even if you were foolish enough to strip Maria of her powers now, that doesn't mean she can't become an all powerful sorceress later. Just ask Morgana." Emma: "Yeah, I'll get right on that. Just as soon as she stops trying to kidnap my daughter." Rumplestiltskin: "All right, bad example, but you do have someone else in this ever-expanding family of ours who knows exactly what it's like to have their magic stamped out of them." (While waiting for Emma with their takeout order, Regina stands by another booth, this one occupied by the Blue Fairy.) Blue Fairy: "You know I couldn't help but overhear." Regina: "I'm sure you could if you tried." Blue Fairy: (Continues regardless:) "If you're worried about Maria's magical powers, you could always consider the convent? My sisters and I are-" Regina: "You seriously expect me to entrust the safety of my daughter to you? Disregarding the fact that you have never once helped or acknowledged my journey back from evil, I dread to think what you would do if Maria's magic turned out to be dark." Emma: (Taking Regina by the arm and guiding her from the diner:) "All right, time for us to go." Regina: (Over her shoulder to Blue:) "You'd no doubt send her to another realm like you did to the Black Fairy!" (They leave. Rumplestiltskin allows himself a chuckle while the Blue Fairy attempts to appear unaffected by Regina's words.)

Forest. (Morgana walks along a path towards a hut that is situated the middle of some trees. Inside, there is a man sitting at a desk. Morgana opens the door and enters. The man looks up to see who it is.) Sindri: “Who are you?” Morgana: “It matters not who I am, but what I want and whether you can give it to me.” Sindri: “And what is it that you want? (Morgana walks over and places a scrap of paper on the desk in front of him. Reading it:) Very particular, what you seek.” Morgana: “It has a very particular purpose. (Sindri looks up at her from a paper that he’s been looking over:) Well? Do you possess such a thing?” Sindri: “I do. (He stands up and walks over to a shelf that is next to Morgana. He pulls two vials off the shelf:) Here.” Morgana: “What are they?” Sindri: “Valerian and Henbane. (Morgana goes to reach for them:) Ah, these are…uncommon things. Hard to come by, hard to prepare… (Morgana hands him some gold and takes the vials. He counts the gold as she walks away:) Very generous, my lady, more than enough to buy my wares. But not my silence... Morgana.” (Morgana turns and tosses more coins on the floor. Sindri bends down and picks up the coins as Morgana exits.) Storybrooke. Main Street. (Walking back from the marina where they ate their lunch, Emma and Regina pass by Mr. Gold's Pawnbrokers. Peering through the window, Regina notes that the shop is almost empty.) Regina: "It looks abandoned in there. Belle and Rumplestiltskin must have done a good job returning items to their original owners." Emma: "I realise she's shady as hell, but Blue doesn't really deserve the blame for what happened in the past.” Regina: (Smiles, turns to her:) "I know. I'm pretty sure both Snow and Rumplestiltskin were factors in Blue's decisions back then. To be honest I'm more annoyed by Rumple still thinking he can manipulate me into doing his bidding." Emma: "Well he did, right? I mean, we ended up releasing Merlin partly because of him." Regina: "Yeah, and it pisses me off. (With a naughty glint in her eye:) So I say it's high time we got back at him." (Regina waves her hand over the handle and magically unlocks the door.) Emma: (When Regina gives her a knowing look:) "Oh no... you wanna fool around in the pawnshop?" Regina: (Smiles:) "It's not like anyone's gonna drop by anytime soon." Emma: "Yeah but still. Don't you think this is a bit of a stretch, even for us?" Regina: (Considers:) "Hm. I'll tell you what. You can either come inside here with me and we'll have some fun, or..." Emma: "Or?" Regina: "We can go cause a scandal at the convent. Your choice." Emma: (Looks at her then opens the door to the shop:) "After you, milady." Regina: (Smirks:) "Why thank you." (Looking around to make sure no one is around, Emma shakes her head before following Regina inside.)

Elsewhere In Storybrooke. (Marco sits down to talk with the Reporter.) Reporter: "So, Marco, as the town's handyman, you must have some stories to tell?" Marco: (Chuckles:) "You can say that again. Although, when I first arrived here during the curse, my days were very much the same. Filled with tasks that really anybody with a screwdriver could perform, from tightening hinges inside a cabinet to re-affixing letters to shop front displays." Reporter: "That sounds like it wasn't exactly taxing for a man of your abilities." Marco: "Oh, I was always happy to do it of course, but I craved something more." Reporter: "You were cursed to be miserable after all." Marco: "This is true. Then, after the curse was broken, there would be plenty more interesting repair work for me to sink my teeth into. Replacing smashed park benches from various car chases, rehanging street signs and of course, my most frequent job seems to be maintaining the clock tower, particularly the intricate glass work." Reporter: "Sounds like that kept you busy." Marco: "It was certainly a time consuming job. (Chuckles:) Pun intended. Ever since the realms were united, I've been busier than ever, travelling with my son August to places that need the services of a good carpenter." Reporter: "Would you say most of your business comes from other realms lately?" Marco: (Nods:) "That's fair to say, yes. Thankfully, most of the time I can return home to Storybrooke and enjoy my days when I'm not working. It seems the sort of property damage that used to happen isn't commonplace anymore."   Storybrooke. Mr. Gold's Pawnshop. Night. (Carrying a flashlight, Rumplestiltskin steps cautiously through the remains of his shop. Pointing the light in various directions, Rumple turns around quickly at the sound of footsteps.)

Regina: "Rumple, what the hell happened here?" Rumplestiltskin: "Precisely what I'd like to know." (He turns back around and continues searching the shop while Emma leans over to speak with Regina.) Emma: (Whispered:) "Did we do this?" Regina: "No, of course not." Rumplestiltskin: "What are you two whispering about?" Regina & Emma: (Innocently:) "Nothing!" Rumplestiltskin: (Giving them a curious look:) "Yeah well whoever did this wasn't playing around. They were definitely after something." Regina: (While Rumple ducks behind the shattered counter:) "But what? There was hardly anything in here left to take." Emma: "Least of all a comfortable mattress." Regina: "Shh!" Rumplestiltskin: "Damnit!" Regina: "Rumple? (Emma and Regina walk closer to him:) What is it?" Rumplestiltskin: (Groans and gets to his feet:) "It’s gone. (Slams his fist on the counter:) You see this is why I wanted you both to deal with Morgana when I asked you to. Now this has happened and we're screwed." Emma: "All right, enough with the blame game. Clearly you still had something gnarly here in your shop that you shouldn't have and someone's stolen it. So why don't you use your words and tell us what's missing?" Rumplestiltskin: "Something the likes of which is the precise reason I stayed out of Camelot all those years. Something that will shift the tide in Morgana's favour and put us all in danger."