#i love how we all have different feelings towards people

[pennylanefics]

Orchids - Quinn Hughes

a/n: not the happiest with this but i really love the idea :) it's such a cute little trope and i can never get enough of it <3

summary: you attend a wedding with quinn and his mind starts to wander about your own relationship

word count: ~1.3k

Quinn sits beside you at the overly decorated table, candles surrounding the area, creating a romantic and soft lighting. Flowers upon flowers are spread all over the entire place, and chatter amongst the guests fills your ears, making your head feel a little fuzzy.

Wedding season was in full swing, and this was the second wedding of the year for Quinn to attend, this time it was a friend and teammate he had in the AHL, who was traded to a different team about a year after. They were still close, so of course Quinn was invited to his lavish wedding.

You felt slightly out of place, not knowing a single person beside Quinn and maybe one or two guys here and there. You made acquaintences with the people at your table, though, finding out they are family of the bride.

Quinn’s hand hadn’t let go of yours since you sat at the table, waiting for the bridal party to enter. He takes in all the decorations while saying hi to people passing by or catching up with someone who stops to chat with him for a little.

He was the best at detecting when you were uncomfortable or shy, or even overstimulated or overwhelmed with a situation, no matter how hard you tried to hide it from him.

“We can leave after dinner, or whenever you’d like,” he whispered in your ear, moving to set his arm around the back of your chair.

“I don’t want to take away from supporting your friend. I’ll be okay,” you grin over at him, squeezing his hand to reassure him a bit more.

“Just let me know. I don’t want you being super uncomfortable.”

“I will,” you agree, kissing his cheek.

The entire time that the wedding party is announced two at a time, one bridesmaid and one groomsmen, and finally the newly wedded couple, Quinn had this special glint in his eyes. The lights shining around him brought out the brown flecks in them, but even with that, there was a deeper meaning to them…he was lost in thought about something.

Dinner is served soon after, wait staff walking through the tables and dropping off plates of steak and chicken with mixed veggies and potatoes, a very fancy yet simple choice you were thankful for. Conversation quietly bubbles amongst every table, everyone lost in their own little world.

Quinn, however, was in his own imagination still. You could tell something was up when he was looking all over the event space, grinning softly as he chews his food.

“Something up, Q?” You finally ask him, nudging your hand against his thigh. His head whips towards you and he shakes his head, swallowing his food.

“No, just looking around. It’s beautifully set up, there’s so much to look at,” he brushes off, but just like he knows you, you know him just as well. And you were wanting to get to the bottom of it by the end of the night.

The festivities continue after dinner, dessert is brought out and while it’s delicious, you can’t help but focus your mind on Quinn and his slightly odd behavior; it wasn’t odd, in a sense, but something was up with him. He was far quieter than his usual self that he was at weddings.

Once the speeches were over, which were filled with stories and laughter, the DJ announces that the couple will have their first dance, and then the floor would be open to everyone. Quinn’s hand returns to yours as his eyes were glued to the magnificent white dress that adorned the bride and how her new husband was holding her like she was the most delicate antique he’s ever seen.

You take notice of the glint that returns to his eyes, seemingly smiling to himself, or at the happy couple, it honestly could be either. Taking a step into your plan to get him to clear his mind, you place your head on his shoulder, startling him a little since he was so focused, but he settles back, turning to kiss your head.

As the night progresses, you soon find yourself in Quinn’s arms, slow dancing on the floor with countless other couples, your head tucked into his neck. His hands rest on your waist and he hums softly along to the music into your ear.

“Do you ever think about what kind of flowers you want at your wedding?” He asks, his thumb gently rubbing the spot where it sits. You had to keep yourself still for a moment because you were about to raise your head so fast, you would have smacked him in the chin.

When his question finally settles in, your head lifts from his shoulder and you look into his eyes, which were shining with so much adoration for you, a slight grin on his lips. His eyes rake over your face, looking for any sign of discomfort.

“I love daisies or dahlias, daisies would be perfect for a spring wedding, and dahlias in general are so beautiful. I feel like roses can be overrated sometimes, so I’d want something non-traditional,” you explain, still swaying side to side with him. He nods along and his smile widens. “Why? What kind of flowers do you imagine for yours?”

“I’d love orchids for the main flower. Obviously we’d need more, but I was reading something the other day that orchids represent, well, they represent a lot of things, there’s a lot of different meanings for different colors.” He blushes under the dark lights and looks down at your entwining hand, his left hand trailing down to hold your right one.

“I read that in the Victorian era, orchids were given to someone to show love and appreciation and as a way to tell a woman that she is beautiful.” His other hand raises to your face, cupping your cheek to make sure you kept your eyes on his. “They also represent rare and delicate beauty, and I can’t think of any better flower that encapsulates you.”

Your cheeks heat up under his touch, your breath hitching in your throat. 

“I’ve been imagining our wedding all night, my love. What decorations we’d have, what our color scheme would be, how romantic our first dance would be, but I’d kind of like to have that be in private, between us, and not let anyone know. So they’d be thinking they’re watching the first dance, but it’s really our second.” The pink hue remained on his face as he continued to describe his thoughts, finally giving you and insight into what was on his mind the entire night.

He had been thinking about what it would be like to marry you. Imagining yours and his wedding.

“Is that why you’ve been so distant tonight?” You tease him, tracing your finger across the dress shirt adorning his chest, messing with the chain of his necklace.

“A little. I couldn’t help but let my mind wander. Thinking about seeing you in a beautiful white dress, with your hair all done up in a perfect way, a shining ring on your finger that shows everyone you are loved.”

His words send shocks through your body, your heart racing like crazy in your chest. You were in awe that Quinn had been thinking about this. You’ve only been dating for a couple years, which isn’t short, but it’s also not a long time yet. You expected him to feel this way five years in, so it surprised you a little to know he was thinking about it.

You hadn’t thought of it at all, maybe once here and there, but never in-depth, to the point where small details are planned out with such an immense amount of thought, down to the meaning of certain flowers. However, as you gaze up into his eyes, his touch feeling hot and heavy on your body, you take a moment to think about it.

And the moment the idea of marrying him enters your mind, it feels right.

“You wanna marry me?” You wonder, even though it’s a very obvious answer.

“Of course. You are it for me, my soulmate. There’s no one else I could imagine marrying, my darling.”

taglist: @petite-potato4

[girlokwhatever]

gf golden retriever!paige with blackcat!reader 🥺🥺

i love this cause we all know it’s true!!

golden retriever!paige bueckers x fem!blackcat!reader hcs

🦮₊˚ෆ✰- ,,-‘๑’-🐈‍⬛ golden retriever paige with a black cat gf,,

— she’s attached to your hip AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

— she’s very very affectionate verbally and physically

- you accept it with love and appreciation

— she’s always hyper and you have to be the one to tell her to chill a bit

— will do absolutely anything for you

— you are very protective LOL

- “i don’t like the way she’s looking at you babe.”

— you’re also constantly side-eyeing people and it’s not even a joke atp

— she thinks you’re SO SEXXYYY LIKKEE

- you just have that demeanor about you

— she’s lowkey intimidated by you a little

- she knows not to make you mad

— she’ll take you shopping, buy you everything you want, AND carry all your bags

— you’ll be getting dressed up for the club; hair done, nails done, makeup done, outfit sexy and perfect

- she gawks over you the whole time

— she’s a big fan of holding your hand in public

— she also lowkey loves to be little spoon so that she can feel you holding her

— when you argue she gets really worked up and you’re always so calm about it but defo have a dismissive attitude

- you apologize later 🤗

— you highly value alone time or just silence every now and then

- paige is so respectful of your wishes cause she loves you so much so sometimes you two will just read forever and not say anything

— paige buys you guys matching clothes

— LIKE I SAID SHES VERRRYYYY AFFECTIONATE VERBALLY!!!!

- expect compliments every few minutes (every few seconds tbh)

— somehow she always ends up wearing lighter-colored clothes and you’re wearing something dark

— she’s also really attentive towards you

— paige really admires how well you can keep composure in literally any situation

— you’re definitely more introverted, not super talkative with ppl you don’t know

- paige is literally the exact opposite and tries to help bring you out of your shell

— she’s always saying how “mysterious” you are

— she can talk for hours and you’ll just listen

- that dynamic works really well for you two though, neither of you ever complain

— you both feel like you complete each other

- like she’s your other half and you’re hers

— you love giving her hickeys and she loves getting them

— at first it was kind of a struggle just because your personalities are so different

- but you both realized you brought the best out of each other and just need to communicate boundaries and wants

— she wouldn’t trade you for literally anything

— you’re sassy AF

— you actually lost her in the grocery store once cause she wouldn’t leave the tru fru aisle….

— “you look so edible right now i swear. please let me take a picture.”

- “edible paige, really?”

🦮₊˚ෆ✰- ,,-‘๑’-🐈‍⬛

this is a cute trope!!

hope i did it justice 😜🩷😒🩷🩷

[vidavalor]

I don’t see the alleged handholding on the bus. I don’t. I’m sorry. I’ve watched it so many times. I want to see it. I see Aziraphale’s hand going towards Crowley, but I don’t see any motion from Crowley that suggests he’s holding Aziraphale’s hand.

Are we really, really, REALLY sure they’re holding hands?

Hi there. 💕 Yep. Well, I am, anyway, and I'm happy to share why. I have watermelon salad to share tonight. Ahhh, summer... 🍉

I don't want to assume anything but I've seen the "Crowley doesn't react so they aren't holding hands" comment places before and what I think keeps people from seeing it is the idea that they think that Crowley should have some kind of big reaction because they think this is new. It's not. We aren't watching the very first time that they ever hold hands; we're watching a long-time couple familiar with doing so.

If this were the very first time Aziraphale had ever taken Crowley's hand then I could see why you're saying there should be some kind of reaction. We'd expect him to glance over or for his arm to be seen moving a bit from what of it we could see. On the other hand, if you look at the scene with a different perspective-- one assuming that they're already in a place where holding hands is not unfamiliar territory-- then the whole moment is really set up to reinforce that through showing how comfortable Crowley is with what's happening.

Crowley doesn't have to turn to Aziraphale right away in surprise and we don't need to see his head or arm move because all that's really likely happening is that Crowley is letting Aziraphale hold his hand right where it is resting on his thigh. Maybe he's turned his hand a little to thread their fingers together. Maybe he's just rubbing a thumb over Aziraphale's. We wouldn't see that from our angle because it would just be movement from his wrist down... and that seems to me to be the point of how the scene was shot. The outside view of the bus at this moment exactly? An angle designed to intimate to us that hands are being held and that it is not a rare or new event.

Think about it this way: if they never had held hands before, is Aziraphale just going to take his hand on this bus out of nowhere? Probably not. Is Crowley just going to sit there if Aziraphale did? Probably not. We get two or so seconds after Aziraphale takes his hand before the bus finishes moving out of the frame wherein we could have been shown Crowley having a more surprised reaction if that was what the scene was trying to say but we didn't see one because it seems like that is not what is being said with the scene.

Aziraphale's movements are familiar; he already knows he's permitted to take Crowley's hand whenever he likes and that they both find it comforting. Not only have they just been through all sorts of exhausting craziness over the last few days but Aziraphale was discorporated. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to get his body back or how and this is basically the first moment they are alone enough to touch since Adam gave Aziraphale back his body. The hand holding then is a way of showing that Aziraphale needs to both feel grounded in his own body and to touch Crowley (not totally separate things, really...). That speaks to long-time coupledom to me more than it does to something new. If you look at the scene from the perspective that they're already together (just as if you look at most of the series from that perspective), you'll see a lot of subtle things just like this scene that reinforce the idea.

I wrote some stuff awhile back that you can find here about the connections between this scene and the flashback one on the bus earlier in S1 that also might help show how that they're sitting together and holding hands in this scene is set up by the earlier scene, should you be interested in that. Also: the "magic hands" massage joke would also suggest that holding hands in S1's present wouldn't be considered unusual. I think that if they've been making love since ancient Rome, as I wrote about the show suggesting here, liking to hold hands isn't too surprising but I understand from where your doubts are coming. Hope this helps. 💕

[amorisastrum]

What if the Knox and Chris sub-plot had meaning?

WAIT NO GUYS IM SORRY PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I BEG PLE-

Okay I'm starting this post off by restating my downright hatred for Knox. I do not like his character, what he did was wrong, it's creepy and fucking disgusting. I will however like to talk about how his relationship with Chris could have potentially added to the story.

We all know (at least I hope) that practically everything in this film has meaning. I had spent ages wondering why they thought it was a good idea to include this frankly ridiculous sub plot to the story. And then I thought about it. Like really thought about it. I don't exactly remember what I was doing when I thought about it, but I do know that I had DPS playing in the background. (I initially thought about this on April 7th. It is May 29th when I am typing this up.)

So, here are all my reasons as to why I think they added the Knox and Chris sub-plot!

My first point is about this scene:

I believe that this line could be a form of foreshadowing. Yes, it is Knox being a dramatic and insufferable prick but it also feels like it could be more. Obviously it isn't Knox who dies in the end, but the idea of not being able to have something leading to suicide feels very important to the story.

Neil is unable to achieve a career in acting because of his father. As well as this, he is being taken away from his family. His real family. By not being able to have this thing that he so desperately wants, he feels like there is no other solution than death.

Knox says that if he can't have Chris he will kill himself, Neil has practically everything he loves stripped away from him- he cannot have it. So... He kills himself. There is a lot of foreshadowing in this film that hints to Neil's death at the end of the film and I do truly believe that this is a part of that foreshadowing.

My next point is that it is used as a form of contrast.

We see that Knox is extremely open about his attraction to Chris... In a multitude of ways, repeatedly throughout the film. Whether his actions that show his attraction are good or not is a different matter (Knox... God how I hate you.)

Arguably this is used as a juxtaposition. Knox (and Chris?) are relatively open about their attraction to one another- while Neil and Todd are very closed off about it. It is never explicitly stated that Neil and Todd like each other in that way, but through subtext it is heavily implied.

Why might this be? Well, considering the film is set in 1959, it could be because homosexuality simply wasn't legal at this point in time. Neil and Todd weren't allowed to be open about liking each other. Being open about it could put them in danger, they had no choice but to stay quiet.

However, as well as a contrast, it poses similarities between Knox and Chris and Neil and Todd. By setting up this contrast, it only brings to the surface some quite significant similarities.

Because let's be real.

How can THIS be a look of true love...

And THIS not be?

Or falling in love or admiring one's beauty or WHATEVER you want to call it. That's not the point. The point is, they're not that different.

You can see similarities between Knox's behaviour towards Chris and Todd's behaviour towards Neil (and vice versa). One of the main similarities is, well, how they look at one another. I personally don't see how the way Knox and Chris look at each other is true love but the way Todd and Neil look at one another is just... Them being roommates.

The juxtaposition between the two sets of people (I didn't know how else to say this) just doesn't seem accidental. The constant mention of Knox's feelings and love towards Chris just makes the way Neil and Todd interact more obviously... Romantic? Loving?

Their love is stated to allow the audience to see how similar they are to Todd and Neil, while still sticking to one of the key concepts of the film - conformity. Neil and Todd having to conform to societal standards, not being able to share their love for one another.

Knox's feelings for Chris are explicitly stated, repeatedly, because Todd's and Neil's can't. It makes it more noticeable. Neil and Todd's feelings can't really be stated due to the law. So they do it with Knox instead. The similarities can be seen throughout the film in how Knox treats Chris and how Neil and Todd treat one another.

Because again, how can Knox look at Chris like that and that show that he is in love, but Neil look at Todd like that and that just be... Them being friends?

The answer is, it can't. Not really.

Although Knox is a lot more explicit with his feelings towards Chris than the other two are with one another, the feelings they have are the same. Whether it is portrayed in the same way or not, it's love.

[jq37]

FH Junior Year Post-Season Thoughts

With another season of Fantasy High in the books and my recaps all finished, I wanted to do an overview of my thoughts on the season as a whole. Even though I feel generally positive about my experience with the season, there are a few things I think maybe could have been done differently narratively or mechanically. This isn't to criticize the way the season went down or to backseat DM/Play. More my combined ten years of college for textual analysis and storytelling bleeding through, haha. 

I first want to start with the things I thought worked really well.

Fantasy High has "High" right in its title but, in past seasons (and especially Sophomore Year), not as much time as you'd think was spent actually at school and even if it was spent at school, there wasn't much time spent in class or engaging with the realities of being a student. This season really dug into the academic consequences of skipping your classes all the time and the realities of needing to do a ton of extra stuff to try for a scholarship and I think that was a refreshing thing to highlight for a change. Being more scared at flunking out than the dragon that's trying to eat you feels very emotionally resonant. Real "High School Is Killing Me" vibes for anyone who's a fan of NPMD. 

Even though Fantasy High is a show that has some deep emotional beats and strong character arcs, it's first and foremost a comedy show. From the jump, everyone was generating bit after bit that had me cracking up as usual. "Little girly dog collar" is one of the funniest combinations of words I can think of. I think it was Siobhan who said that this was the goofy season and, having seen it, I'd have to agree with her. It never failed to make me laugh and it was always a highlight of my week.  The cast just has great table chemistry that I love to watch no matter what they're doing. 

Watching some of these high level combat encounters is as close as I'll get to understanding people watching sports. Even though combat is generally my least fave part of D&D, I think the cast really killed it this season with how cleverly they played and Brennan came up with some really great combat encounters. Special shout outs to Baron's Game and The Last Stand for their unique mechanics.  

This is going to be one that's on the other list as well because my feelings are mixed, but I genuinely do like the downtime mechanic and how it forces hard choices. I think it's an interesting way to connect a mechanic to the story and cultivate stressful atmosphere for the season.

I have problems with the execution but I love the Rat Grinders in concept. I think as early as season 1 I was hoping that we'd meet a party that was like the Bizarro Bad Kids and the idea of a party that's farming XP instead of going on crazy adventures is a strong concept. Likewise, I think a character that's jealous because of your "cool" (read: tragic) backstory is also a fun trait for an unhinged antagonist in this kind of setting.

This is me absolutely showing my bias but I adored the Abernant Sisters content this season. I dunno if Siobhan specifically asked Brennan to not put her on a bus with the other beloved NPCs or what but I'm so glad she stuck around and we got the development we did. It was almost entirely ancillary to the plot but there was this clear pattern of Aelwyn getting softer and sweeter towards Adaine over the course of the season, from the guarded, "Enjoy the nemesis ward," to, full I love you's and, "I'd take them to get you." It was way more focus than I expected considering that Aelwyn completed the bulk of her arc last season and a lot of the time, a redemption arc basically ends after the big gesture (in this case, Aelwyn taking a magic blast for Adaine in Sophomore Year). So the fact that we got to see all of these sweet moments of them reestablishing their relationship outside of do or die moments was such a pleasant surprise. Again, I fully admit I am extremely biased, but this was my top wishlist item and the season overdelivered so there's a baseline happy I'm always gonna be with Junior Year. 

OK, so moving on to things I things I think could have been tweaked.

Even though I liked the downtime system and the pressures it created, it also squeezed out the chance for more casual PC to NPC interactions that would usually be more common because they were semi-locked behind the relationship track and there wasn't an obvious benefit to roll for Relationships (as opposed to something like Academics which was crucial for not flunking out). Making the mechanical benefit more clear would have helped that (even if it meant Brennan didn't get his reveal--which he ended up just telling them anyway so might as well do it early). The other thing is that the consequence of a rage token was so bad that of course they spent all season avoiding getting one. Things might have gone differently if the consequences had been a bit more obscured, like in Neverafter. And it could have been a nice parallel to the Rat Grinders to take this unknown resource that makes things easier for you but is also having this negative effect. Then it could be like dang we did the same thing they did unknowingly. 

I mentioned this in my recap but I'll talk about it again. It is a little confusing to me that we did the Ankarna subplot right after we did the very similar Cassandra subplot. It took up so much time this season which I don't think is an issue in and of itself, it's just that we literally just went through some extremely similar beats last season. Why double up on this same storyline when there's so much new ground to cover? Or if we're going to raise a god, why not make it a different kind of god? One theory I had early on was that the Rat Grinders were trying to raise their own god to one-up the Bad Kids but instead of raising a chill, misunderstood Cass type, they accidentally raised a god who was erased for a good reason and got in over their heads. 

It's fun for there to be connections between seasons but sometimes it's like, OK that's a *lot* of coincidences. Like the god who your rivals is trying to raise *happens* to be the wife of your cleric's god and also *happens* to be the god of the fiend trapped in your friend's mom's chest and that fiend *happens* to be the relative on your bard's dad's side which is *also* the reason she is randomly cursed? That's a LOT of red string connecting plot points. As unhinged as Kipperlilly is about coveting Riz's backstory if I saw that go down I'd be like you have *got* to be kidding me.  

The mystery elements didn't feel like they clicked as well as they did in other seasons. I think that's partially because Porter's plan was so convoluted (seriously, I made another post about how haphazard his plan was) and had all these moving parts and we didn't get clear answers for a lot of mechanical things like how the rage crystals actually work and when they were implanted and stuff. You had stuff like Devil's Honey which I think is super cool as a thing that exists in the world but ended up being an element that just led the players down the wrong path and had a relatively small payoff (that Porter was using it to lie to Ankarna). I think it's plausible that a forgotten god would be willing to listen to anyone saying the right things without introducing this element. (As opposed to, for instance, Ambrosia which has a very clear connection to what's going on and is a solid clue that someone is flirting with aspirations of godhood.) 

The Porter reveal came so late in the season that even though it was a fun/challenging fight, there wasn't a lot of emotional weight behind killing him. It was basically just dunking on a teacher Fig has always hated who was also mean to Gorgug so screw him. Which, valid of course. But the Bad Kids were never going to react as strongly to Porter as they were to the Rat Grinders so putting Porter in the prime villain spot isn't necessarily what I would have done if I wanted the fight to be more than just a brawl--especially since we've done "School admin with student minions" already in S1. I don't mind the full circle callback but it would have been nice to pick something else for the sake of variety. We haven't had a child mastermind yet and I think Kipperlilly could have been a great candidate for that. My friend suggested that it would have been fun if Kipperlilly was trying to become a god instead of just being Porter's underling and I agree. "I'm not anyone's chosen one so I'll choose myself," is still within her established jealousy and Type A tendencies. If we want to keep Porter involved since that was Brennan's gift to Emily, maybe have it be that instead of Kipperlilly working for him, he's working for her. Like Artemis Fowl vibes! And the Rat Grinders can be varying levels of on board--from true believe to redeemable. I don't think Brennan planned for the Bad Kids to ever redeem her so might as well go full megalomaniacal mastermind with her and make her The Villain if she's not gonna be nuanced anyway. If My Little Pony can do it and send a literal child to Tartarus for pony treason (or whatever Cozy Glow did), Fantasy High can too. 

Continuing from the above, if we have the Porter fight in place of the Grix fight (a la Daybreak) and don't use Ankarna, that gives way more time for the Bad Kids to investigate the Rat Grinders throughout the season and it would mean that they would have their personalities developed a lot more. With the limited downtime, they Bad Kids didn't have a lot of time to spend on these kids who were just hating on them for no good reason (valid). But if you cleared their plate of the god hunt stuff, they'd have more time for this. And if they weren't all rage zombies to varying degrees, it would be easier to see them as characters. Besides Kipperlilly (and, funnily enough, Mary Ann) we don't really have a good read on what these kids are actually like. The little time we spent with them all season was kind of a wash if them breaking out of rage means their personalities got laundered too. Anyway, regardless of how their loyalties ended up shaking out, it would have been fun for them to be more than the minions that they were in canon. As funny as it is for them to just kinda be XP farming losers, they did have the potential to be more interesting in their own right if they weren't just Porter's minions. And again, we've done adults forcing or coercing children into being minions in Freshman and Sophomore Year already. Lemme see some self-created child maniacs! (Or, peer pressured child maniacs. That's cool too. The Lucy/Kipperlilly dynamic is way more interesting to me if it's like girl, I would take a bullet for you but I CANNOT walk this path with you any further in response to *I* will be a god and you can be *MY* champion.)

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Like I said, I have my points that I think could have been tightened, but overall an enjoyable season and I will be glued to my screen if they decide to close out with Senior Year! 

[mrinafria]

I have been chatting with a couple of my Lovely Runner folks about how the soul remembers even when the body doesn't, because spiritually speaking, it does make sense. I won't bring the detailed theological discussion and significance in here but personally I'm on board with this notion. There's this idea that souls are formed before the body, in the realm of the unseen. Some souls are like "conscripted soldiers", meaning that when they are sent down to the earth, they'll gravitate toward each other every time they're given the opportunity. Of course there's free will and agency at play when the body and mind are factored in, so one can still move away from another, but that connection always exists deep down in our subconscious. This explains why irl we feel instantly drawn to certain people whereas we just "don't like the vibe" of someone we barely know/have not had a particularly bad experience with.

True: in the context of the show, it doesn't do a great job explaining why the soul-memory would apply to Seon Jae since these aren't memories he actually ever made if we're being super technical. These are all from different timelines (and not different 'lives' like we see in reincarnation tropes, mind you) but I guess they took some creative liberty to show that even these memories that are apparently "erased", can never actually be erased and get stored in the realm of the unseen instead (think of it like a cloud bin for recovering deleted files if you will).

We can find a plot hole here if we get down to the nitty-gritty and to be fair, the time travel/time slip rules are still a bit vague to us as the viewers of the show. But I choose to happily move past with this explanation we get through Haelmoni because they really did a great job executing this (and I love how the person to talk about this is Grandma, of all people :')

[lxmelle]

I think it’s safe to say both Gojo and Geto had a problem opening their hearts after they separated. Like an emotional scar they never resolved.

It’s kinda Husband & Wife-coded imho. (Husband&Husband, Wife&Wife, whatever - you get my drift).

Geto at his death asked about his family. He wasn’t concerned about how they’d mourn for him or considered if they’d want him saved, etc. Like the scrolls adorning the back of the temple, he didn’t view himself to be much if he couldn’t be strong - punishment to the weak and foolish.

Gojo upon the lead up to the battle seemed to believe he would win either way (aligned with what he told Megumi) and that wasn’t bothered with his body - but he admittedly did feel annoyed that his longest living friend, Shoko, wasn’t upset on his behalf. (I HC that I think he understood that there was no other person who had love for him like with Geto.)

Spoilers for 261:

Given the circumstances, Shoko also had to do what was necessary to support him, regardless of her feelings towards the request. She has always been respectful of boundaries I think. More avoidant with her feelings (remaining stoic) rather than ambivalent. She is a medic after all... you have to put aside your personal feelings.

To some extent both Gojo and Geto it difficult to regard themselves as worthy of loving and genuine care. People may have cared like Geto’s family etc. but the problem lies in their ability to recognise and reciprocate it. He felt alone and couldn’t smile sincerely in his life. It was easier for him to give love than to receive it.

Gojo had a few students who did, but they perhaps came at a time too late (it was mere months after Geto died?) where he didn’t have the time to actually open up his heart too much in the end... before he was sealed, and then had to make the decision to enter the battle. Fortunately, by that time, he didn’t feel lonely anymore as he said in ch236 after death, but there was certainly a line where he didn’t feel he could be understood by others. He was born too different, perhaps? His pragmatic and callous facade made it difficult for others to get close enough to see the real Gojo Satoru. A part of it was about unparalleled strength. The magnitude of it. It wasn’t something Sukuna understood either, since he never knew love and lost it.

We can see that Gojo held different standards for Geto than he did himself though. In the anime many speculated that he was bringing the bouquet for Geto’s grave (or something similar). He must’ve given his body back to Mikiko and Nanako (or hidden it) because he didn’t have it processed & cremated by Shoko, (which would’ve been completely adhering to the orders of the institution). He also wanted to reclaim it for a proper burial from Kenjaku.

This feels so much like a husband & wife thing.

Widowed Husband goes: “Ah, just toss my ashes in the river.” But will get his wife flowers for her grave, ensure she has a clean gravestone, no weeds growing on her plot, leaves a plate out during anniversaries, etc.

Gojo’s love for Geto is also very Yang-coded (which is inherently more male) where he will cling on unwaveringly and there is something about reverence in how he patiently accepts Geto and tried to fulfil everything he wanted. In this sense, where he is portrayed as a loyal widower, he may surround himself with friends, activities, look after the kids, etc. but he will always honour and cherish his wife until his dying day.

Geto who is Yin-coded loves maternally, self-sacrificially. She will be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of her kin. Even if separated from her husband, she will nurture and build a family around her, uncomplaining. She may appear to cope on the surface, as she is used to her emotional needs being unmet without her partner/Husband, until her own dying day.

This is totally anecdotal of course, but to give myself some credit, I’ve talked intimately with more than my fair share of people in grief to see a pattern (and understand it in a personal level too)... we all grieve differently, love differently, value different things...

This is just my two cents. Any thoughts?

Feel free to comment or reblog with your own take.

[sevenboarproductions]

[IDOliSH7] [Part 6] Chapter 11: Hectic days

6.11.1. - A town where sound falls

Takanashi Tsumugi: Heading towards “New Black or White”, hectic days had begun at Takanashi agency.

--

Ousaka Sougo: …How about this?

Rokuya Nagi: Hm… That’s a little too dark. 

Ousaka Sougo: Dark…

Rokuya Nagi: It might also be a little too aggressive

Ousaka Sougo: Aggressive…！ Really… I was trying to give off a sense of velocity, though…

Rokuya Nagi: Sougo, aren’t you overthinking it a little? Relax, relax.

Ousaka Sougo: Relaxing…

Rokuya Nagi: Close your eyes and think of an animal, anything is fine. 

Ousaka Sougo: I thought of it…

Rokuya Nagi: What animal came to mind? 

Ousaka Sougo: A stonefish.

Rokuya Nagi: OH, how warlike… We are happy, happy, cutie idols! Let’s make it a sweet feeling like shangri-la!

Ousaka Sougo: Shangri-la…  Happy, happy, cutie idols…

Rokuya Nagi: OK, close your eyes… Try to think of an animal once more. What came to mind? 

Ousaka Sougo: A frilled shark.

Rokuya Nagi: OKOK…That’s the way…

--

Yotsuba Tamaki: If we do it like this… what if we do something like this?

Oogami Banri: Isn’t that nice? And the formation is 3 + 4?

Yotsuba Tamaki: What about a V shape? Would it be strange? Starting from a V formation like this… 

Oogami Banri: Aaah, isn’t that good? From V into 3 + 4. 

Yotsuba Tamaki: We could have only one side move like this, like dominoes… 

Oogami Banri: Aah, yes, yes. Then like that, they are divided into 3 and 4 again…

Yotsuba Tamaki: Ooh, that’s cool!

Oogami Banri: It is cool.

Yotsuba Tamaki: IDOLiSH7 is cool, isn’t it~.

Oogami Banri: IDOLiSH7 is cool!

--

Momo: For the new song, I wanna sing about how we felt when we debuted.

Yuki: Isn’t that fine?

Momo: Really?

Yuki: Really, really.  Like, “can’t you sell yourself from the time you were fresh”?

Momo: I get that! Like overcoming ourselves!

Yuki: Did we overcome ourselves? Momo, you were earnest. You were hardworking and everyone likes you. 

Momo: Is that so? I was so desperate I couldn’t afford to relax. People like IDOLiSH7 are cute, aren’t they?

Yuki: They are. Thinking about it now, I was an irritating newcomer.

Momo: I’m telling you, that’s not true! I wanna protect such an awkward person. Yamato and ŹOOḼ are like that, too. 

Yuki: That’s true. But, freshness, huh… 

Momo: Is there a difference in freshness? Between idols and those wanting to be idols. 

Yuki: Momo, what is being an idol to you? Last time, you said it was to make me win. 

Yuki: But that isn’t all, is it? Since you’re kind, Momo. 

Momo: I wonder…

Momo: Because I met you during a difficult time, Yuki, because I was able to find new happiness, I want to be that kind of person for someone else. 

Yuki: Happiness?

Momo: Yeah. Being glad, being happy, a feeling of fulfillment… Like I’m glad to be here.

Momo: At that time, I was very happy, I felt like I’d been saved, how do I put it… I felt like I wasn’t wrong. 

Yuki: About coming to Re:vale’s live?

Momo: Not… Not just that; everything.

Momo: Like when you see something amazing, when you see something wonderful, it becomes a feeling like you’ve been given a miracle. 

Momo: It became a feeling of being loved by a godlike person. 

Momo: That night, seeing Yuki and Ban-san, that’s what I thought. Thank you for letting me meet you. And… 

Momo: I thought that with such a wonderful thing, even I who was able to see it cannot be all that bad. Like I wasn’t thrown away.

Momo: I had the feeling I could love myself again.

Yuki: …I’m glad… That you would think of me that way… It was worth singing that desperately.

Momo: Ehehe.

Momo: That kind of thing, I want to give it to everyone. They met us, right? So they’ll definitely be happy.

Momo: So they’ll definitely be happy in the next year, too. I mean, they were with us in the same space and heard our sound, after all!

Momo: I’m sure we’ll be able to meet the ones who couldn’t be in the same space as us, too! When that time comes, I’ll be the happiest person in the world!

Momo: I will definitely, definitely make those who saw me on camera as well as those who will come to see me happy! 

Momo: I’ve never been so happy! Everyone, cheer up! Look at my Yuki! 

Yuki: Ahaha! That’s nice, isn’t it?

Momo: I’ll be the happiest in the world!

Yuki: Seems so.

Momo: Let’s make the best live in our own way. The customers like our cool side the best.

Yuki: That’s true.

Momo: I am the happiest when Yuki is cool, too. Above all, I want Yuki to win! 

Yuki: I’ll do my best. But I am happy even if we don’t win. 

Momo: I know… But I wanna do my best! 

Yuki: I understand. Let’s do our best.

Momo: Yeah!

~ to be continued ~ 

--

6.11.2. - Good City

Staff: So you’ll have a meeting with the owner.

Kujou Tenn: Understood. I’ll be in your care.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: This is a specialty store for manual coffee brewing. I’ve improved quite a bit.

Yaotome Gaku: Me, too. I was told I could open a store anytime.

Kujou Tenn: Me, too. I like to make espresso using a moka pot*.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I like it, too! It’s the one you don’t have froth on, right?

Yaotome Gaku: Maybe I should buy an espresso maker sometime.

Kujou Tenn: It might be good to have one…

Student: Uhm…

Kujou Tenn: Yes.

Student: Uhm, I, well…. I am the son of this store’s manager.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Aah! Thanks for having us today. It’s a nice store.

Kujou Tenn: It’s nice to meet you.

Yaotome Gaku: Nice to meet you. I’m Yaotome Gaku.

Student: Uhm, that hand of yours… May I hold it?

Yaotome Gaku: If you don’t mind a handshake. Sorry to impose on you today. Sorry about causing so much noise, too.

Student: No, uhm, as a TRIGGER fan, I watched your show and found out you were looking for filming locations, so I asked my father to apply.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: So that’s how it was! I’m glad. Your name is…?

Mage Takara: My surname is Mage, and my given name is Takara! Also, I had my mails read out loud at the TRIGGER radio!

Kujou Tenn: So that’s how it is. I am glad to meet you, Mage Takara-san.

Mage Takara: …Uwaaah, Kujou-san shook my hand, too! Would you do it, too, Tsunashi-san!?

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Of course! Takara-kun, thank you. Thanks to you, we are able to work at a wonderful shop.

Mage Takara: No, that’s not… My father will be happy. He’ll be glad to have opened a coffee shop…

Yaotome Gaku: Ahaha, that’s cute. Who do you like, Takara?

Mage Takara: Uhm, within TRIGGER-san?

Yaotome Gaku: Yes, that.

Mage Takara: Is it okay to say it…? In front of the actual people involved…

Yaotome Gaku: Don’t hold back. I’ll take a picture of you with the one you pick. Gimme your phone?

Mage Takara: Is that fine!? Uhm…. Uhm, uuuuhm, I’m sorry! It’s Kujou-san!

Yaotome Gaku: Tenn, huh…

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: It was Tenn, huh…

Kujou Tenn: Yay.

Mage Takara: No, well, I really like him… I think he’s the best idol! He’s a star who’s even better than Zero!

Kujou Tenn: I’m happy. I might cry.

Mage Takara: Uhm, you’re the type of people who don’t cry, right!?

Yaotome Gaku: We’ve become quite amicable lately.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: But I don’t think we’ll show you our crying selves.

Mage Takara: Eh~!　I don’t really get it, but you’re cool…!!

Yaotome Gaku: Then I’ll take a picture now.

Mage Takara: Uwaah… To have the shutter pressed by Yaotome Gaku… I wanna become a smartphone, too…

Kujou Tenn: Is it alright if I stay like this? What about poses…

Mage Takara: When it comes to poses, is it okay to just decide that the way I want???

Kujou Tenn: Of course.

Mage Takara: Oh my god, what should I do…! I’d be fine dying right now… Aah, uhm, then let’s shake hands…

Kujou Tenn: Yes.

Mage Takara: Ah, I’m, I’m sorry for having sweaty hands…

Kujou Tenn: Mine are, too. It’s fine.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Well then, I’ll fan you with this menu.

Mage Takara: Thank you very much. To have Tsunashi-san fan me… I will never use an air conditioner again!

Yaotome Gaku: Use it. The recent temperatures are crazy. Because of global warming.

Mage Takara: Yes! I will use it…!

Yaotome Gaku: Let’s go, one, two…

Kujou Tenn: Smile, Takara-san.

Mage Takara: I’ll smile…!

(click)

Mage Takara: …. Ha…

Yaotome Gaku: I’ll take another one. One, two…

(click)

Kujou Tenn: Thank you very much.

Mage Takara: Thank you very much! Ah, ah, uhm… Can I get your autograph, too!?

Kujou Tenn: Of course. Is it fine if I write “To Takara-san”?

Mage Takara: Uhm, I think my father will be mad, so please address it to “Café MAGENTA”…

Kujou Tenn: Understood.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: That’s a wonderful name for a store. Do you like the color magenta?

Mage Takara: Ah, ‘our surname is Mage, so let’s add a little to it’, is what my dad said!

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Ah, I see. You did mention him earlier. Mage-san.

Mage Takara: Yes!

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: My ‘Tsunashi’ is rare, but ‘Mage-san’ is also quite rare.

Mage Takara: Yes! Ehehe…

Yaotome Gaku: We’re lucky to be meeting friends at work. Please continue to support us, Takara.

Mage Takara: Yes! I’ll always support you! Or rather, I will on TRIGGER-san’s radio…

Staff: Please get ready soon!

Kujou Tenn: Understood. Takara-san, you sent us a radio message, right.

Mage Takara: Yes! Lately, I’ve been busy studying for exams, so I couldn’t listen to it, but I’ll send you a message again…

Yaotome Gaku: I get it. I’m looking forward to it.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Thanks, Takara-kun. Here, have TRIGGER’s autograph.

Mage Takara: Uwaaah…! It’s me who’s really thankful to you!

Kujou Tenn: Thank you very much.

Yaotome Gaku: Thank you.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Thanks!

Mage Takara: …Haa… Amazing…

Mage Takara: …

--

Staff: Well then, let’s begin with an explanation of a simple arrangement.

Kujou Tenn: I’ll be in your care.

Mage Takara: Uh, uhm…! Excuse me!

Staff: Ah, excuse me. We have to start preparing for shooting soon…

Kujou Tenn: Excuse me, give us just a moment. Takara-san, what happened?

Mage Takara: Excuse me! I got in the way! I won’t bother you anymore, but…

Mage Takara: Could you write “To Magechon” next to “To Café MAGENTA”!?

Staff: Magechon? Is that your nickname?

Mage Takara: Yes! It’s a band name, and if I can be on TV in the future, I’ll definitely use it…!

Staff: Ahaha! How about it, TRIGGER-san?

Staff: TRIGGER-san…？

Kujou Tenn: …Magechon…？

Yaotome Gaku: Magechon…

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Is it possible that, Magechon…!?

Kujou Tenn: The one who made ‘BE AUTHENTIC’!?

Mage Takara: Uwaaaaaah…! TRIGGER knows my song! I don’t mind dying ten more times…

Yaotome Gaku: For real…!! We’ve been looking for you forever!

Mage Takara: Eh…!?

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: We listened to ‘BE AUTHENTIC’! It’s the best song!

Mage Takara: Eh, eh…!?

Kujou Tenn: We want to take on ‘New Black or White’ with ‘BE AUTHENTIC’.

Mage Takara: Eeeh……!?

Kujou Tenn: Can we have permission?

Mage Takara: (crying) What’s this, it’s like a dream… No way TRIGGER would…

Kujou Tenn: Hey, don’t cry. Does that mean ‘no’…?

Mage Takara: …It’s the feeling of having achieved the biggest affirmation in history! I lovingly permit, permit, super permit you to use it!

Mage Takara: Please sing my song…!

Kujou Tenn: …Thank you!

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Thank you, Takara-kun! To meet you this way, it’s like a miracle!

Yaotome Gaku: I see it wasn’t just just ‘(lol)’. I’m glad you told us seriously.

Mage Takara: Gaku-san…

Yaotome Gaku: We’ll sing it seriously, too. Magechon, that song is the best.

Yaotome Gaku: Thank you for bringing this song into the world and letting us listen to it.

Mage Takara: …You, too… I love TRIGGER…!

Mage Takara: Please win “New Black or White”!!

TRIGGER: Yeah…!

~ to be continued ~

--

6.11.3. - Storyteller

Cameraman: Good morning, everyone.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Good morning.

Anesagi Kaoru: Good morning. Oh, you’re holding a camera. That means you’re from “Backyard Magic”, aren’t you?

Cameraman: I have some questions for both of you, so…

Anesagi Kaoru: You should have told us about that earlier! My makeup is terrible right now, so don’t film my face! 

Cameraman: Ah, I won’t film your face, so is it okay if we just talk?

Takanashi Tsumugi: What kind of questions do you have?

Cameraman: I want to ask you about what you think is special about IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER’s lives.

Cameraman: How do things look from a manager’s point of view? How do things come together the way they do? 

Anesagi Kaoru:  Well, IDOLiSH7 is like… It really feels like a school festival, in a good way.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Oh, I understand that.

Anesagi Kaoru: Rather than just strictly sticking to doing their job cleanly, it feels like they’re freely doing it and having fun.

Anesagi Kaoru: Not that they don’t have a sense of professionalism, of course.

Anesagi Kaoru: Even though they have sung these songs countless times and rehearsed everything seriously, it still feels like a school festival. The atmosphere is always free.

Anesagi Kaoru: That fact itself is really amazing I think and… Ah, sorry, I talked a lot just now.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I was really happy to hear that! I’m glad you think about them like that. 

Anesagi Kaoru: It wasn’t like that from the start. I thought those kids seemed more like a school club who debuted just for fun.

Anesagi Kaoru: But they have properly done their work up until here, without getting too used to it, while still feeling fresh. I think that’s a great thing. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Thank you so much!

Cameraman: What about IDOLiSH7’s manager, then? What is your opinion?

Takanashi Tsumugi: Let’s see…

Takanashi Tsumugi: IDOLiSH7’s lives are kind of like a party between friends; there’s a feeling of closeness and warmth…

Takanashi Tsumugi: I think that’s what makes the lives special.

Anesagi Kaoru: Yes, yes! That’s what I meant when I said it’s like a school festival. Their performances are like a party between friends. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Thank you so much!

Cameraman: How do you think they managed to preserve that atmosphere?

Cameraman: Of course, everyone’s friendly personalities are part of that, but…

Cameraman: Usually, you would expect the group eventually gets used to it, but they are giving their all every single time to create a fresh live experience for everyone. What is the reason for that?

Takanashi Tsumugi: …

Takanashi Tsumugi: I think there are a lot of factors to it, but I think the main reason is Riku-san. 

Cameraman: You mean Nanase Riku, your center? 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes, him.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Riku-san seems like he was born to be a center, but surprisingly he also easily gets nervous. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: All the members are very close, so when Riku-san gets nervous, everyone’s attention shifts to him. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: They’re willing to back him up anytime and want to put his mind at ease… These kind feelings they hold just naturally gather…

Takanashi Tsumugi: And then, when the curtain opens and it’s time for the actual show, Riku-san is also really capable and goes ahead with a big “Wow!”.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Feeling the atmosphere when Riku-san is having fun makes the others really relieved, so they get pumped up, like “Let’s go, we’ll make some noise tonight!”.

Cameraman: So, every time…That tension and relief, it’s like a bow that has been drawn all the way getting released? 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes… Maybe you could describe it like that.

Takanashi Tsumugi: “Is this fine?”, “Does he need back-up?”, “If he does, I’ll do anything for that”... That kind of feeling between the members…

Takanashi Tsumugi: When they hear Riku-san’s singing, it just completely transforms in a second. 

Cameraman: “Our center is amazing!”, “Let’s follow him and get this show going!”; to that kind of feeling?

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes, I think at that point they’re already not really thinking about helping Riku-san out there. Rather than that, you get the feeling that they are having so much fun. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Once the live starts, Riku-san’s view broadens and he passes that feeling to everyone around him. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: They begin to synergize, and… Because these seven are having so much fun on stage, the audience also enjoys themselves from the bottom of their heart.

Takanashi Tsumugi: And that’s why I think those seven together are the strongest! 

Cameraman: Thank you very much! Hearing an opinion from a manager’s viewpoint was very interesting.

Cameraman: How about TRIGGER? TRIGGER’s lives kind of give the exact opposite impression of IDOLiSH7’s performances, right. 

Anesagi Kaoru: In what way? Please tell me. You keep making us talk the entire time. 

Cameraman: Uhm… well…

Cameraman: Compared to IDOLiSH7, where the audience feels like the idols are their friends, with TRIGGER they get more of a mysterious feeling.  Like they’re waiting for a god to descend…

Takanashi Tsumugi: I agree!

Cameraman: The atmosphere at the venue is truly impressive… All of these people who are waiting for them, they know just how amazing TRIGGER is. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes, that! The atmosphere isn’t strained, but there is that looming excitement that they’ll appear soon!

Cameraman: It’s truly amazing. It feels like if you poked that atmosphere with a needle, it might just burst like a balloon. But it’s never in a bad way. 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Right! The fans aren’t on edge because they’re anxious. It’s because they believe in TRIGGER.　

Takanashi Tsumugi: Their nervousness is because they know they’re about to witness something great and don’t know if they’re ready.

Anesagi Kaoru: Look at you talk suddenly.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I’m sorry, I just…

Anesagi Kaoru: It’s fine! I’m really happy! You make me want to go for drinks with you two right now. 

Cameraman: That’s an honor!

Cameraman: But compared to their debut, TRIGGER’s performances have less of an “exciting party” feel now.

Cameraman: That feeling isn’t completely gone now, but their image has gotten a lot more stoic now.

Cameraman: How do you see TRIGGER’s lives, Anesagi-san? 

Anesagi Kaoru: About the same as Takanashi-san, I’d say. These three are the stoic type, who take their work seriously and don’t cut corners. 

Cameraman: TRIGGER doesn’t talk all that much, so the audience needs the knowledge and imagination to fill the gaps, right? 

Cameraman: It’s not like they just miraculously appeared in this world and got together, looking all cool like they could ace anything… 

Cameraman: Even when they’re not saying anything, you can tell that they’re giving it their all on the inside. You see that they put all their skill into it.

Anesagi Kaoru: You see, they aren’t trying to burden the audience or make them take a guess at their skill at all.

Anesagi Kaoru: It feels like things just naturally lined up that way… People who start to like TRIGGER because of their outward appearance become interested in how they are on the inside, as well.

Anesagi Kaoru: They think about it and then, slowly, little by little, they put in more and more acts of wordless communication. 

Anesagi Kaoru: That alone is enough to open up their hearts and from there on TRIGGER also becomes the fan’s pride.

Anesagi Kaoru: And at the lives, these prides collide.

Cameraman: It’s like the classy kind of tension you feel in a tearoom, right? The servicing side doesn’t say a single thing, yet still delivers the highest class experience. 

Cameraman: And even though the side being serviced just watches, they have deep knowledge and understanding of everything, but don’t talk much. 

Anesagi Kaoru: It is quite a bit like a tea ceremony, isn’t it? Ahaha, that might be true. 

Anesagi Kaoru: TRIGGER’s members are all strong and serious at their core, but they also have their clumsy spots.

Anesagi Kaoru: That’s why instead of saying all of those things out loud, they express them with their performances. That is what makes their lives so strong. 

Anesagi Kaoru: After all, these kids really want to be loved, too. 

Cameraman: Right, it’s touching. Thank you very much! Sorry, I ended up holding you up quite a lot…

Anesagi Kaoru: Don’t worry about it, please continue to do your best.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Thank you for the opportunity!

~ to be continued ~

--

6.11.4. - Conversation

Cameraman: Good morning.

Okazaki Rinto: Good morning.

Utsugi Shirou: Good morning. Ah, you’re from BackMagic.

Cameraman: Nice to meet you. I have some questions to ask both of you. Do you have some time?

Okazaki Rinto: I do, at least.

Utsugi Shirou: Me too. And since we have this opportunity now, is it okay if I also ask you some questions, Okazaki-san? 

Okazaki Rinto: Uh, for example…?

Utsugi Shirou: Like what your type is or something.

Okazaki Rinto: Um, please stop the camera.

Cameraman: I’m interested in that too.

Okazaki Rinto: Why? I mean if you talk about that kind of thing then we should do it when the cameras aren’t running…

Utsugi Shirou: Like their annual income for example…

Okazaki Rinto: When the cameras aren’t running.

Cameraman: Well, then once again: I have some questions for you two, do you have some time?

Okazaki Rinto: Of course.

Utsugi Shirou: Go ahead.

Cameraman: Please tell us what makes Re:vale’s and ŹOOḼ’s lives special.

Cameraman: From a manager’s point of view, what aspects do you think can you leverage in the lives?

Cameraman: Though, the idols’ personalities have a big impact when making a live, too, I think. 

Okazaki Rinto: Ahh, I see!

Okazaki Rinto: Well, both of Re:vale’s idols are entertainers. They really like giving the audience or each other fanservice.

Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun used to be kind of unpredictable, but working together with Momo-kun, it seems like he eventually learned how to do things on stage…

Okazaki Rinto: The distance with the guests and the staff as well… dealing with that in a relaxed manner, doing their best. I think that is the kind of atmosphere they have. 

Okazaki Rinto: Obviously, there are exciting parts, too, but that comfortable feeling…

Utsugi Shirou: It makes you feel at ease watching them, right? Kind of like the relaxed beauty of flying business class.

Okazaki Rinto: Yes, that could fit. 

Okazaki Rinto: Generally, both the fans and the staff love Re:vale, so there’s a feeling of unity because they share the same passion.  

Okazaki Rinto: “If you want to try this, how about doing it like that”, “If you’re doing this, what about that”... you end up collecting suggestions like that. 

Okazaki Rinto: Re:vale, the staff, the guests, they all want to enjoy the live. They want it to be a success. So you have amazing teamwork from everyone.

Utsugi Shirou: Ah, that’s thanks to Momo-san, right? Well, Yuki-san’s leadership and charisma are also doing an important part, though, I think. 

Utsugi Shirou: He’s great at pulling people along and opening their hearts. 

Utsugi Shirou: Everyone wants to help Momo-san and they’re happy if he depends on them for that. 

Okazaki Rinto: That’s true. Momo-kun truly is the moodmaker of Re:vale’s lives. 

Okazaki Rinto: And yet, something does happen, Yuki-kun who's always with Momo-kun comes forward and speaks up, so...

Utsugi Shirou: It's easy to convey opinions, and it might be easier to coordinate, too. Ah, this will be a useful point of reference.

Cameraman: So basically, Momo-san's team building... his effort in teamwork is working?

Okazaki Rinto: Maybe you have heard about that already, but Momo-kun used to play soccer and was the captain of the team at his school's elite soccer team.

Okazaki Rinto: So he knows that, even if just one person doesn’t have motivation, or feels unhappy, the energy of the team is going to decline.

Okazaki Rinto: And because he knows that, he pays attention as close as he can and does his best to choose and use his words carefully. 

Okazaki Rinto: He does everything in his power to make sure everyone is on the same page so their pace matches. 

Okazaki Rinto: There is the danger of opinions clashing when you exchange ideas, of course, but if you manage to overcome that, you become much stronger as a team. 

Okazaki Rinto: I always learn a lot through that, too. 

Cameraman: But Momo-san is quite busy, he can’t do everything all the time, right? 

Okazaki Rinto: In that case, I go as a representative and talk to the promoters beforehand to properly discuss our vision. 

Okazaki Rinto: If you go on a trip with someone else and you don’t tell them about your plans, you would obviously end up fighting, right?

Okazaki Rinto: And when it comes to a live with several tenthousand people, there’s no way there won’t be conflicting opinions. That’s why it’s crucial to discuss things beforehand.

Okazaki Rinto: With everyone facing in the same direction, you can bring out a great result. Like in soccer when you shoot a goal. 

Cameraman: So on the flipside of the safe and secure Re:vale lives, you find all that careful effort to teamwork… 

Cameraman: So, what’s the appeal of ŹOOḼ’s lives? 

Okazaki Rinto: Ah, I’d like to know that too.

Utsugi Shirou: I thought about that myself, too, and I think it’s probably the gap moe.

Okazaki Rinto: Gap moe…

Utsugi Shirou: Do people still say “gap moe”? 

Okazaki Rinto: Um, probably…

Utsugi Shirou: Usually, ŹOOḼ’s members have a unwelcoming atmosphere, right? 

Utsugi Shirou: And well, our agency also promotes them like that. 

Utsugi Shirou: They’re not easily tamed. And that’s what makes them into a sharp group that offers a new kind of thrill. 

Okazaki Rinto: Yes, I understand.

Utsugi Shirou: But in reality, all of them really want to be loved, so they can’t help but be excited for their lives. 

Utsugi Shirou: You can see that excitement overflow from within them.

Okazaki Rinto: Ah! That certainly is gap moe… They really start to look cute like that, right. 

Utsugi Shirou: They do.

Utsugi Shirou: I know I’m praising our own idols, but their singing and performances are really high level. 

Utsugi Shirou: “I kind of want to support them”, I think it’s really easy to start thinking that. 

Utsugi Shirou: So please, do come to their lives. 

Okazaki Rinto: Certainly… A live is kind of like their own garden, right. 

Okazaki Rinto: Rather than going to someone else’s garden, ŹOOḼ seem to be more lively when they’re in their own domain. 

Utsugi Shirou: Yes, they can be kind of shy… they’re the exact opposite of Re:vale. 

Okazaki Rinto: They love being in other people’s area. Their own garden is comfortable, but they get really energetic when they’re at someone else’s place.

Utsugi Shirou: That kind of characteristic is really strong in show business. Having exchanges with many different people, and that kind of give-and-take… 

Okazaki Rinto: Barging into ŹOOḼ-san’s live, jumping in as a surprise guest at a show and stuff like that is what makes Re:vale really shine. 

Utsugi Shirou: Our members are really weak to surprises…

Okazaki Rinto: That’s cute. 

Utsugi Shirou: It is! But it’s not like they don’t know how to hold out until the end either. 

Utsugi Shirou: Especially Inumaru-san and Isumi-san are actually the type to take the lead and thrive under adversity.

Utsugi Shirou: Midou-san and Natsume-san are more on the cautious side, but once they break out of their shell you really feel things get on a new level.

Utsugi Shirou: Their persistence, the feeling of “we won’t falter anymore, we won't be shaken anymore” really comes out then. 

Utsugi Shirou: Once that happens, their real power comes out. It’s extremely cool. 

Okazaki Rinto: They have that imposing impact of a bare, unsheathed knife, right?

Utsugi Shirou: Thanks a lot.

Okazaki Rinto: But they’re very cute at their lives.

Utsugi Shirou: They are. So please, come visit ŹOOḼ’s lives.

Cameraman: Thank you for the interview. Tying it up with an advertisement… 

Okazaki Rinto: As expected of a Tsukumo employee, you’re shrewd. 

Utsugi Shirou: Feel free to come to Re:vale-san’s lives, too.

– 

Woman: …… The pre-”New Black or White” special issue…… Ahhh, there’s so much info in this article, I’m happy!

Woman: Riku-kun’s comment… “We came up with the setlist with everyone in the group. I think it’ll help us make a live that fits the current IDOLiSH7”.

Woman:  “Our new song is great too, so please look forward to it!”

Woman: A new song… Ahh, I’m super, super excited. I wonder what the costumes will look like. Maybe they go with a different hairstyle or something, too. 

Woman: I can’t wait. It’s gonna be the best New Year’s Ever ever! It feels like I might just skip over two centuries.

Woman: My senpai told me today that I look like I’m having fun lately. 

Woman: She was surprised to see me like that, but said she’s glad for me since it seems like something good happened. That was so nice of her…

Woman: I should’ve said that it’s because of IDOLiSH7’s lives. Maybe I would have gotten to talk about them.  

Woman: Riku-kun’s drama is starting, too, after all. There’s just nothing but good things happening lately. I’m so glad I got into IDOLiSH7! 

Woman: I wonder what Riku-kun is like live… I’ve watched footage of him countless times, but maybe it’s different when you see it in real life. 

Woman: I hope Riku-kun will have fun, he seemed to really look forward to it in the BackMagic videos. 

Woman: I wonder if IDOLiSH7 can win this… No, even if they don’t, being part of this lineup is already amazing. 

Woman: Riku-kun and everyone else are working so hard and earnestly on winning, I want to make them succeed… 

Woman: I want IDOLiSH7 to win, even if that means I never win any lottery in my life… 

Woman: …Ah, the other groups’ fans probably all think like that too, eh. 

Woman: I want my oshi to be the happiest person in the world! All the others are so kind to Riku-kun, too. I love them all! 

Woman: Ahhhh, I’m so excited! 

~to be continued~

--

TL note: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_pot ...It's what you use when you're an espresso person and feeling fancy.

...We made it! When we started this project, I told Haruka-kun I was unwilling to do 11.3 and 11.4 under any circumstances because I knew it would be very troublesome to translate, haha. So, thanks, Haruka-kun! I'd cry if I had to do it.

That being said, time flies... thanks for the continued support, everyone!

- Mod Riku

[s1m0nth3swag]

Chat I need to yap about Dead Boy detectives.

I've seen so much stuff about Charles having the "I wish you were a girl" mentality, and I 100% agree.

Like, both Charles and Edwin grew up during times where it was way more difficult to be open and proud about being Queer. Edwin was the first to actually start realising that his feelings were okay because of Niko and Monty (partly the cat king). Meanwhile Charles was after Crystal (and who can blame him she's wonderful) but I personally think Charles just doesn't fully know what being in love feels like

Like, he was at an all boys school. With the fact that he's queer, he's definitely been in love. However, we know his dad was a fucking dick, and I personally think that the reason was also partly Homophobia. Like, yeah people can be assholes for no fucking reason, and hit their kids without any reason at all, but I imagine that Charles maybe hinted at being queer (like. Look at him.) And his father hated that, so Charles just always had the mentality of "this isn't what love feels like" whenever liking a boy. So he meets Crystal, after having no connection to another person his age who wasn't a guy, and he knows they'll be around each other a lot because of her case still having to be solved/ the amnesia and all and he just jumps on the train of "Basically, I HAVE to like her!" (Listen, I think they're cute, genuinely no hate towards their ship or anything, i really love their relationship) Like, Charles definitely knew girls in his time, but he's so clumsy with flirting (or better, old timey becausehe hasnt flirted since the 80s / it feels clumsy to me but i suck at flirting myself so thats that), I partly think that he's never actually had a girlfriend (because how would he bring that girl into a household he didn't feel safe in? Because Charles is the guy to 100% want his partner to feel safe at all times, and he can't guarantee that whenever he's home) he's definitely been a flirt though etc etc we all know what he's like (and that he probably still has some experience- more than Edwin at least, which isn't hard though)

I just think Charles wishes Edwin was a girl because then he wouldn't have to have his inner internalised Homophobia alarmbells ring.

I genuinely hope that in season 2, Charles finds the same way of accepting himself as Edwin did

Also chat I almost have NO historical idea of Homophobia during different times because that's never been something I was interested in (I just want to change things for the better in the future)

I'm just yapping idk honestly I think the thought fits for their dynamic but please yap with me about it

[bairdthereader]

Time to pay homage to the Spring Queen, Tori.

[This is a long one, folks. I have lots of feelings. Sorry, not sorry! TLDR can just look at the gifs for the gist of the story.]

Having read Solitaire, This Winter, and Nick and Charlie in addition to Heartstopper, my thoughts on Tori and how she's portrayed in the show are a bit difficult to organize and express. Since we don't get her backstory in the show (yet), we see her exclusively engaging with Charlie's story; this leaves out a lot of her depth and complexity, or at least leaves it to the viewer to piece together. BUT . . .

The specific ways she goes about protecting Charlie say so much about her.

It's established from their first on-screen interaction that Charlie feels safe with Tori, both to be himself and to confide in her that he's ended his pseudo relationship with Ben, a relationship no one else knows about at this point. Tori automatically assumes the fault was with Ben, which is not only peak awesome older sister behavior, but a cue to Charlie that she knows him well enough to trust that he was not only not the offending party, but that the breakup was a very positive move for him. She's affirming and bolstering Charlie without any platitudes or unsolicited advice, a sign of her care and respect for him, as well as her understanding of him and his needs.

In Solitaire, Tori explains that she rides the bus with Charlie when he's dealing with particularly bad mental health struggles, which puts the scene toward the end of S1E7 in a slightly different perspective. She knows that something is deeply wrong, but also that Charlie isn't ready to talk about it. She keeps an earbud out just in case, but doesn't pressure him in any way, another sign of respect and silent support.

And of course the moment when Charlie is desperately vulnerable, scared, admitting his darkest thoughts to her, when she realizes for the first time (in the show timeline) just how deep the pain goes, she takes it seriously. She knows what it could mean. Though we as viewers haven't seen it yet, Tori knows her own version of this particular darkness and recognizes it in Charlie. She grounds him with firm, safe, physical touch and a truth that only she can give--which makes it the truest kind of truth, a bedrock truth for Charlie to stand on--that he is valuable to her and vital to her life.

After Charlie tells his parents about his relationship with Nick (with fairly negative results, but that's a whole other post), Tori's concern for Charlie is immediate. Not only does she remember how terrible the bullying Charlie experienced was, but she also knows how fragile his newfound happiness really is. Charlie misinterprets her question--whether intentionally or not I think might be up for debate--and assumes that her concern is mainly for Nick, asserting that he can protect Nick. Tori knows that Charlie will need that protection as well, maybe more, but also respects his choice to view the situation in this way. [Side note: respect is like Tori's secret love language; she doesn't give it very willingly.]

"Look after him or you die" seems funny, but Tori is dead serious. Her later accusation that Nick doesn't keep his promises feels harsh at first, and he doesn't really deserve it, but we have to see it for what it is. Tori is trusting Nick with a responsibility that she usually puts on herself, and she doesn't take it lightly; very few people can care for Charlie the way Tori does, and to her, failure to do so is indefensible. Nick's failing her test in this moment, though she's a complete enough person to recognize that it's a momentary lapse and trusts Nick with Charlie later in the story.

And of course there's the infamous Nelson dinner party, where Tori does in reality what we ALL want to do in spirit and knocks David down several pegs. She sees in him exactly the kind of person who bullied Charlie and made his life miserable, and she's not about to let it happen right in front of her. No real commentary here, just a deep appreciation for Tori's sisterly rage and complete disgust with David.

And then there's this:

Oh, season 3 Tori is going to be something to behold. I absolutely cannot wait. All hail the queen.

[cooloddball]

Ok, so I would like to throw in my opinion on the "fell first/fell harder" Lestappen take.

Let me preface this by saying I'm very new to F1 racing and am learning quickly about the sport and the racers (and falling absolutely in love with all these adorable goobers too!)

I only looked into it because a coworker of mine is in love with Daniel lol. In searching Daniel I found a pic of Charles and was IMMEDIATELY like 👀👀 'Damn ok I see you, gorgeous, who are you??' And in searching him, I saw MANY pics of him and MAX.

In lengthy conclusion, MY hot take is this: Max fell first in a heavy moment of bi panic. Let's face it, Charles is the kinda guy that could definitely make "straight" men questions themselves for a hot minute. I can FULLY see, understand, and sympathize with the idea of Karting Day Max being genuinely confused about what exactly it is he's feeling for Charles because, no, absolutely NOT is he attracted to boys! (Read: his dad would probably get pretty pissed to hear/know his champion racing "straight" son has a huge boy crush on his rival of all people)

So it's treated like an early school crush where you're young and immature and kinda mean to them only because you don't want them to know you actually like them, y'know? Plus, he has to be a bit ruthless! This is his rival, for corn's sake!

Flash forward, Max goes to F1, his crush probably simmers/dies down now that he's got all new focus. In comes Charles to F1 bringing all those emotions and memories back to the surface. But Max is determined to stay focused this time. And in this time I believe is when Charles starts really dealing with HIS side of the crush because look at (his) Max now! All grown up and racing in F1 and giving him a serious run for his money and looking damn fine while doing it and Charles has trouble not letting it effect him.

Eventually time progresses, they grow and mature and come to realize they're both equally deserving to be where they are at and they're both amazing drivers and Max has now allowed himself to start letting go of the school yard crush tendencies and started really appreciating Charles for who and what he is. I think he's now allowing himself to just enjoy being with and around Charles. He's come to realize he LOVES the giggles and the dimples and the shimmer in the sea green eyes and, hey, Charles is a damn good driver so why shouldn't he be honest about that and tell the world?

I look at his body language and how he acts and speaks around Charles (and vice versa) and, for all the years they've known each other, they're still so bashful and giddy around each other. I've noticed that when Charles might be giving an interview, Max will just walk over and start talking, and Charles gives him his FULL attention despite the fact he was originally talking to someone else first. Maybe Max and Charles can't have each other romantically, so they take the best they can get.

I'm so sorry for such a long (and probably confusing) rant but I've really no one else to talk with about this and I'm OBSSESSED with their obsession with each other that I could go on for literal HOURS about these two lovesick knuckleheads 🥰🥰

no apologies needed i love you and this ask because long asks are the best. i also like the fact that you are of a different opinion because we can’t all see things the same way.

as for the who fell first vs who fell harder i get why you see it that way but from my side i feel charles fell first because that’s who he is, like it would take something very little to happen for him to get a him to like something/someone and he loses interest just as quickly. meanwhile max is the kind of person who takes his time to understand things/ people and it takes a while to like these things/people but once he’s in it’ll take a lot to get out/dislike something etc.

also, as i mentioned in an earlier post, it’s charles’ “hostility” towards max when they were younger that did it for me. like from the lore we have there’s nothing that max could’ve done that warranted charles disliking him so much. and no, charles got his revenge for the inchident. i think charles realised he had a crush and max was oblivious (at first) because all he was focused on at the time was racing (thanks to jos 😡) so he probably didn’t care to form many relationships/friendships with the other karters which probably made charles feel some type of way like max didn’t care enough to like him so he decided “if it’s only racing you care about i might as well give you something to remember me by” so he focused his energy on racing against him and just outright being a track terror. little did he know that’s what max needed to steer him to liking him (charles)but it was too late, max had a target on his back…and here we are.

if you ever want to talk about them, i’m here to listen and offer whatever take.

[maybege]

What If - Part 4

Summary: Mandalore approached and you cannot help but feel like something is about to go terribly wrong.  

Pairing: alpha!Paz Vizsla x omega!fem!Reader

Wordcount: 6.2k | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, explicit sexual content, size kink (Paz is big-big), (semi-)public sex, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex, creampies, knotting, cockwarming, dirty talk, praise kink, Angst with a capital A, fluffy fluf

As we say in German “Was lange wärht, wird endlich gut” which is what I am using as my excuse for why this took so long. The truth is: depression is a bitch, real life is a bitch and creativity and time for writing are like the same side of two magnets that do not want to even go near each other. Anyway, we made it!!!

There are a few people I gotta thank for this. First and foremost the iconic, the brilliant @mostly-megan who not only suffers through all the random AU ideas I have (and there are a LOT of them) but also brainstorms with me. The Ragnar Scene and also a very (very!) lovely scene towards the end of this part would not exist without her and for that, I am very grateful. Then, of course, the ever-present, ever-lurking genius that is the Boba Tea Anon who is in the Paz trenches right there with me and encourages me in everything I do (even if it is just a – I promise one day I will do a Lord Huron Paz piece!). Also, a very special shout out to Neyo (@galacticgraffiti) who gave the Mando kids their names, suffers through The Horn Knee with me and is always there to cheer me on. And then, of course, all you Paz girlies (gn) who make me feel like a sane person while I ramble about a faceless man who appeared for a total of 23 minutes (if that) and is – canonically – dead anyway. You make sharing my writing worthwhile in the first place and I will be forever grateful for getting to share my writing with you.

And with that – on to the last part (and the new canon for me lol). Please let me know what you thought in a comment or a reblog!

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

There was a certain impatience to him you had not expected at the last meal. When the announcement came that you were approaching Mandalore, Paz – who had spent the dinner between you and Ragnar – had pulled you into his lap, his arms like iron around your body. Ragnar had wandered off to the front with all the other foundlings, expectantly looking up at the clan leaders.

You had turned your face into Paz’s neck, trying to get his scent on you. You could not believe how you had only known this man for a few days – a week, at most! – and yet his scent was the only thing that seemed to calm you down. And it was no different for him.

The alpha’s hand immediately found your scent gland and you shivered as the soft leather brushed over your skin. It did not take long until he pulled his gloves off, settling them into your lap, before resuming his motions.

The nervous energy in the room was palpable but it was practically radiating off him and it inevitably affected you as well. Where you had been excited, if a bit reluctant, a few weeks ago at the prospect of reclaiming Mandalore, now there was only a strange sense of dread in your stomach. One that even the alpha could not dissolve.

“When you wake up tomorrow, some of us will set foot on our homeland for the first time in too many years,” Briggs announced, his serious gaze roaming over the packed hall, “I cannot promise you it will be easy. I cannot promise we will all wake up to the sight of Mandalore. But we will die trying.”

You could see Ragnar looking back at his father who tilted his head. A gesture meant to be reassuring but only resulted in you questioning whether Paz would be one of those dying. You shifted nervously, causing Paz to tighten his hold on your waist.

“Calm down, love,” he rumbled quietly behind you, “It will be alright.”

Forcing yourself to nod, you gripped his large hand tightly, trying to burn into your brain what it was like to touch him,

“Rest well and rest assured that tomorrow will mark the start of a brand new era,” Briggs raised his glass, “And let us toast to our home!”

“To our home!”

Everyone lifted their glasses and the conversations resumed, a constant background roar that reminded you of the countless fates that were tied to the success of this mission. A strange feeling started in your chest, and not the kind that Paz’s presence usually caused.

You shifted again, watching as the crowd dissipated and the foundlings were walked off to bed. Their excited chatter moved down the hall and something cold clenched your heart when you watched Ragnar wave at his father.

Immediately everything quieted down. With everyone returning to their own conversations and the hall being considerably more empty now, Paz did not waste any time. His hands landed on your thighs and you managed a wobbly smile.

 “What is going on in your pretty head?” he asked you, his fingers skimming over your thighs, “You’ve been squirmy all evening.”

“Who says something is on my mind?”, you popped a berry into your mouth, grimacing at the sudden sour taste.

“True,” he laughed, “You might have just spent dinner thinking about when you can finally sit on my cock again.”

“Paz!” you gasped, “you cannot – I mean – what if –“ You glanced around with flushed cheeks, relieved to see that no one had seemed to hear his indecent theory.

He laughed again and the sound made your heart and body melt. “I will never tire of making you flustered,” he murmured, his big hands pulling you closer, “Though I actually would not mind having you cockwarm me tonight, sweet omega,” his fingers brushed the underside of your breasts and you shivered, “I would be lying if I said I could ever get enough of you.”

“I actually had something similar in mind,” you admitted shyly, slipping off his lap and enjoying the way his hands followed you and his body leant into you. As if he wanted to keep touching you, as if he never wanted to let you go. Your heart skipped a beat and you smiled.

“I … would like to try something?”

He leant back, his legs spreading with the movement and your teeth dug into your bottom lip at the sight of the obvious bulge in his pants. “Oh yeah, omega, and what would that be?”

You made a few steps away, making sure that your robe (a dark blue, just like his armour) swished around your form as enticingly as possible. Paz’s head turned to follow your movement from your place in front of him to a chair in a dark alcove, dressed in shadows where you knelt down right in front of it.

The big alapha hummed, rising to his feet, knowing exactly what it was you had in mind. “I think I can get behind that idea.”

From the other sounds that were floating through the cantina, you knew that illicit things were already well underway. Most of them likely more graphic and adventurous than what you had in mind. Still, you felt a little nervous at the prospect of sucking Paz Vizsla’s cock.

But for some reason, this was exactly what you needed. You wanted to bring him pleasure, so much pleasure.

You watched as he pulled off his cape, folding it expertly before motioning for you to stand. He dropped it on the floor, his hand steadying your elbow as you sunk down on the soft fabric. “Don’t want you uncomfortable,” he announced, before sitting down in the chair.

He looked big like this, bigger than usual. And oh so confident it already made your panties wet. His knees spread, the trunks he called thigh caging you in and you watched with bated breath as his fingers undid his codpiece, expertly freeing his cock.

He was already hard and dripping precome, the knot at the base slightly inflated and you squeezed your thighs. It was not like you had never seen his cock before and it certainly was not as if he had not fucked you before. Yet, the sheer size of him and the thought of taking him in your mouth overwhelmed you a little.

Where were you supposed to start?

But when one big rough hand closed around his shaft and Paz started to jerk off right in front of you, you could not help but to simply … dive in.

Opening your mouth as far as it would go, you closed your lips around his tip, one hand struggling to fit around him. The grunt he let out, paired with a twitch of his hips, had you smiling around him.

“Stars above,” he cursed, “Warn a man next time, won’t you, love?”

You looked up at him, teary-eyed, while your tongue licked the underside of him. Or at least the part you could reach. He was heavy in your mouth, heavy and big and he tasted of something that made you want more. Slowly, you moved forward trying to take more of him but soon enough, he bumped something at the back of your throat and you sputtered.

Before you could panic about breathing, Paz had pulled out of you, his large hand cupping your cheek while the other was still wrapped around the base of his cock. “Deep breaths, omega,” he soothed you, his hand leisurely stroking himself, “You are doing so good for, trying to take it all.”

“You’re so big,” you marvelled, wrapping your hands around him, “I want it all, alpha, I – Paz, I really want it all.”

“Want my help?” he asked, “Might have to be a little rougher, though, sweet omega, and I can smell how much that turns you on but I need you to tell me – Are you sure?”

You nodded eagerly, darting your tongue out to lick at him. “I am sure, alpha,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to the tip, “I promise.”

“If it is too much, tap my thigh three times, understood?”

You nodded again, shifting on your makeshift pillowed. Your thighs were already drenched at this point and you wondered whether you could come just from sucking him off. It seemed like you would be able to do a lot of things when it came to Paz.

His grip on your face loosened just the tiniest bit. “Open up for me,” he ordered, pulling your face towards him, “There we fucking go. Gorgeous.”

“I will never tire of this sight,” he groaned, “You struggling to take my size, trying to be so good for me,” he shifted, his hips surging forward and you smiled with pride when you did not gag this time, “Can I go deeper, love? Is that okay?”

With your position between his legs, your jaw wide open around him, you could not really nod. But Paz seemed to recognize the excited twinkle in your eye because you could hear the grin in his voice when he muttered a “Stars, you’re perfect.”

You took great care to keep your breathing even and through your nose, experimentally swirling your tongue around him every time he pulled out of your mouth. His thrusts grew heavier, his hold on you tighter and you swore you were this close to coming just from the sheer sight of his shaft covered in the sheen of you.

It was not long before he came in thick spurts on your tongue. You struggled to swallow it all, your throat working overtime as you did your best to swallow around him. “Good girl,” he praised you, “My good fucking girl.”

Your heart jumped in your chest as you licked him clean, not quite ready to let go of this intimacy.

His hand came to your chin, gently scooping up some of the come that had spilt from your lips. “Here you go,” he offered his coated thumb and you sucked the digit into your mouth without hesitation. You could never get enough of his taste.

“Let’s retire for the night, love,” he suggested, “We have a long day ahead of us.”

*

By the time you got settled in your bunk, you knew it was only a few hours before everything would start. Before you had to say goodbye.

Paz had excused himself, leaving you to get ready for bed alone before he appeared by your side, dressed completely in his armour.

“Are you okay?”

“Said goodbye to Ragnar,” he explained, sitting down on the little cot, hunching his shoulders over so he would not hit his head.

“Oh.”

Somewhere behind the curtains, someone snored.

Paz grunted when he laid down, his giant arm reaching out and pulling your back to his front.

“Is this okay?” you asked quietly, “It’s a tight fit.”

“It’ll be okay,” he murmured, grunting when he pulled the curtain closed, “I will not spend my last night without my calmer.”

“Aren't you uncomfortable?” you asked, your voice small, “With – with the armours and me and all the …”

“I will not spend my last night without my calmer,” he repeated, leaving no room for doubt. It took a bit of shuffling to turn you around but when you finally were facing him, you already felt much better. You tucked your face into his neck, breathing in his scent as he wrapped both arms around you.

Your heart was squeezing so hard in your chest that the emotional pain became physical.

What if this was his last night? What if you would never see him again?

And what if you did? Would it ever be like this again? Would he want to keep you as his calmer (or more?) when Mandalore was finally reclaimed?

Paz shifted, his large hands running over your back until one settled at the back of your neck.

“I got you,” he rumbled, “You’ll be safe, omega, I promise.”

You swallowed away the need to tell him that it wasn’t your safety you were worried about.

 *

The next morning was worse. It barely qualified as morning and you were sure you had not found any sleep. You had just been shifting all night from side to side, desperately burying your nose in his neck to soak up every little bit of his scent that he could give you.

You were not sure if Paz had slept either but when the alarms sounded in the room at the same time, it took him a minute to get up. Everyone was shuffling around the packed room silently, most of them already dressed and armoured. Ready to descend to the surface of Mandalore.

Despair was clawing at your insides. You felt like you were watching something from the outside that you knew would fail. That you knew would destroy everything you held close to your heart.

And yet, you watched helplessly as they lined up, preparing to board the ship that would take them into the atmosphere.

It was silent – eerie – as if everyone knew something big was about to happen. And you couldn’t move from his side. You couldn’t even if you wanted to. You needed to be here with him.

You watched as Paz double-checked his weapons and your mouth quirked up as you remembered how the man had seemed like a weapon on his own the very first time you had seen him. And how true it was, now that you saw guns and rifles packed to every piece of his armour that could carry it.

Your smile fell just as quickly as it had appeared. Would this be the last time you got to see him?

You had been scared a lot of times in your life. Like when your parents had taught you how to swim and you had been convinced you would sink to the bottom of the sea. Or when you had taken a bad fall in one of the hiding places and scuffed your knee. But that childish fear of creatures and heights was nothing compared to the existential dread that settled in your stomach.

It wasn’t fear that something could go wrong it was fear that you knew something was going to go wrong.

And could you really risk this?

“You, uh, you will come back, right?” you whispered, already hating how needy you sounded. But you needed to hear him say it. You needed Paz Vizsla’s words to be the ones to tie you to the hope of a future together.

“Someone already scared for me?” Paz tilted his head and while you knew this was supposed to be a joke, his voice did not sound very light. Like he knew it too. That feeling.

“Well, I mean you have Ragnar,” you shrugged, pulling the cloak closer around you, “And I mean your tribe needs you, you are a great warrior and –“

“Exactly,” he interrupted you gently. You watched as he approached you, his steps heavy and measured and you swallowed. “I am a great warrior,” he repeated with his fingers under your chin, tilting your head up to look at him, “Which is why I will come back to you.”

“But –“

“Listen to me,” he whispered, his hand cupping the side of your neck, scenting you so gently your eyes fluttered close, “I vow to the stars, I will come back to you, love.”

That was the last thing he said to you before he boarded the ship.

*

If somebody asked you what happened during the time you were waiting, you would not be able to tell them. As soon as Paz embarked on the with the scouting group, it felt like time stood still. You barely knew what you were doing. You were pacing the entire length of the ship it seemed, Ragnar keeping you company for a few of those pacing trips before he distracted himself by playing with the other foundlings.

You tried to approach your feelings rationally. You had spent a lot of your time these past few days in close proximity with Paz. He was an alpha, you were an omega, obviously there were some biological components that could have contributed to your feelings for him.

But that was exactly it. Your feelings …

At the thought of Paz not coming back, it felt like your heart ripped into two. You could not fathom a world without him in it and, more importantly perhaps, you could not fathom your life without him in it. You wanted him to come back and when all the tribes settled in their parts of Mandalore, you wanted to be as close to him as now. You wanted to spend your evening with him and Ragnar and you wanted to know what his days were like, what his role was in his clan.

Whether he wanted to keep you in his life as well.

Waiting was pure torture. Communications were cut and all that remained was the cold silence of the ship. You avoided the cockpit and strategy meetings, Briggs (thankfully) seemed to understand your reluctance and did not press you on the matter. Until Axe Woves came to warn the ship of the Imperial that had settled on the planet and the fight that had broken loose.

That was the meeting you had insisted on attending, hoping that – in whatever capacity – the stoic alpha might drop some comments about the people on the surface.

“Is,” you swallowed, “Is he well?”

The beskar-clad man, much to your frustration, said nothing at all.

Which was not very helpful.

The fight continued and troops were dispatched and you stayed, keeping the foundlings safe and quiet. In fitful dreams, you heard yourself confessing your love to him just before he disappeared never to return again. You woke up with cold sweats until you crawled into his bunk, pressing your nose into his pillow and willing yourself to think of a future in which he came back to you unharmed.

Sometimes, you could hear Sluice and Chants converse about what to do if it all failed. Whether to settle back in Nevarro was another possibility or if the tribes should stick together to find a new home.

All you could think was that you would not leave Paz on this planet.

You could not leave him.

It was morning when the announcement came. You had buried yourself in his cot, his sheets pressed to your nose as you took trembling breaths when the PA system stuttered to life, the mechanical voice echoing through the empty hallways.

You had retaken Mandalore. The air was breathable and you could safely land on the surface to meet the victorious troops.

The joy and excitement that spread through your entire body could not be described. Nothing could happen to wipe the smile off your face as you frantically searched for the one good dress you wanted to wear when you saw Paz again. You wanted to please him and kiss him and tell him you loved him. And maybe, if you were very lucky, he loved you too.

Stars, how you hoped he would.

But that elation stopped short when you set foot onto Mandalore. You could not even look at the surrounding landscapes, the fallen home of your ancestors – when you spotted the group but no Paz. A quick glance around did not reveal him either and suddenly the feeling of dread was back again.

Briggs was standing there too, and you knew the man long enough that when you saw his eyes getting glassy at your sight, he did not need to say anything anymore for the tears to fall.

This was it then.

You always wondered what it would feel like to live with a broken heart. Now you knew.

The pain in your heart was unbearable and you suddenly wished that you had never left the bunk this morning. That you were still curled up in his scent and his blankets without the knowledge that the alpha you wanted to spend your life with was dead.

“Where is my buir?” Ragnar asked somewhere behind you and you could hear it in his voice. How he tried to sound strong but he was just a child. A child without his father.

He made his way to the front and stopped by your side. You put your hands on his shoulder.

“I am sure he will be fine,” you assured him, not believing your own words, “He – he must have … another mission somewhere, right?” you looked to Axe Woves who avoided your gaze, “Right?”

Ragnar grabbed your hand. “Bu said if he is late, I need to distract you.”

“What? Why?”

“Because we're family,” he said it so effortlessly, “and because I know he will come back but you might worry and you shouldn’t worry.”

You were not sure what happened first: the stopping of your heart or the break in your breath. Paz told him you were his family? Ragnar considered you … his family?

“Do you wanna play a board game?” the boy asked and the breath rushed back into your lungs, “Bu taught me a few games for when I wait for him to come back.”

“He did?” you asked, your voice faint as you followed him back to where someone had set up a small open-air cantina at the ramp of the ship. You ignored the looks Briggs and Chants gave you. Ignored the way that Bo Katan bowed her head as if to pay respect to you as if you had something to mourn.

Not now, you told yourself as your heart cracked in your chest. Maybe tomorrow you could bury yourself in Paz’s bunk, breathing in his scent until there was nothing left but your own grief.

Tomorrow, you promised yourself, Tomorrow I will know he is dead.

*

The sun was setting over the mountains and Ragnar made no sign of stopping the game anytime soon. He had patiently explained the elaborate card game to you before dealing the cards. And then he had continued to play with you the entire day. Sometimes, people joined you for a round or two. The first had been Din Djarin – the man with the green baby. He had not said anything but you could feel the sadness coming off him in waves.

Then there had been The Armourer who had stayed for only one round, occasionally speaking to Ragnar about his helmet ceremony (the first having been interrupted only a few weeks prior). She was followed by Sluice, Bo Katan and finally, Briggs.

“Mind if I join?” the older man had asked, only sitting down when you nodded.

“Not at all,” Ragnar spoke up, relieving you of the to find the energy, “Do you know the rules?”

Briggs had left after two rounds, his warm hand on your shoulder the only indication of what he had come here to say. My condolences for your loss.

The tears had burned hot in your eyes but you forced yourself to keep playing. Ragnar won most rounds and the one he did not, you were fairly sure he lost on purpose. “No worries,” he assured you with childish wisdom, “Sometimes it takes a little longer to get the rules.”

“That is okay,” you forced yourself to smile, “How about we take a break for some food?”

“Good idea!” the boy jumped up, “I will get some of the berries and you stay here and watch the cards!”

Before you could protest, he had raced to the small buffet table.

You both welcomed and feared the moment of solitude this afforded you. It allowed you to take a deep breath, to let your shoulders and your guard fall. Maybe even a few tears if you were quick about it. You did not want Ragner to see you like this. He seemed to be determined that his father was alive and well – that he would return – that you could not bear to be the one to break his heart.

“Bu!” Ragnar shouted and you whipped around immediately. It took you a moment to find Ragnar but when you did, he had his arms wrapped around the legs of a large man. A man dressed in dark blue armour.

 “Paz,” you sighed, feeling tons lighter. Ragnar threw himself at his father who caught him though you did not fail to notice the way his legs almost buckled.

Stars he was hurt.

A new wave of panic washed over you and you did not realise you had stood up until the stoll toppled behind you. Several pairs of eyes were on you but you only cared about one.

Paz set Ragnar down and whispered something to him. You watched as the boy nodded, skipping off to Din and the Armourer. And then Paz walked towards you. Though walk seemed too weak a word for the way his heavy steps came closer and closer, his looming figure soon right in front of you.

Paz was right in front of you.

“You,” he growled, taking your hand without slowing his stride, “Come with me.”

“Paz, what happened?” you asked, trying to look him over, “Are you hurt? Did – Were those Imperials we spotted on the radar? Axe Woves and Briggs and – oh stars, we need to get you checked out and wait – are you bleeding? Where does it hurt maybe I can –“

A door swished open and you glanced around in confusion. This was not the infirmary. This was not even a proper room if the cleaning supplies on the shelves were anything to go by.

“Paz, you need – oh!” your hands gripped his shoulders tightly when he lifted you onto a surface. Was it a table? A counter? Stars, you could not bring yourself to care. Not when he was standing in front of you, panting like he had the fight of his life behind him.

Which he probably did.

Your heart clenched again, from fear or joy you could not tell.

His large hand fiddled with your dress and with a rip, your entire front piece was hanging off you in tatters.

“Alpha,” you cried, moving your hands from his shoulders to his chest, “Alpha, are you all right? I was so worried.”

The big man stepped between your open legs and you took a deep breath. The smell of adrenaline burned your nose but you could not help but notice the arousal that was in the air as well. He was angry and determined and the way he did not even look at his hands when he tugged on his belt made you glad you were already sitting down.

“Keep calling me that and I will be,” he grunted, opening the snaps of his armour and finally his fly.

Your eyes were fixated on his hand around his cock. “Pull down your dress,” he instructed instead, “I want to see your tits.”

You hurried to do so, almost ripping the fabric entirely in the process but you could not care less. Not when you had your dream of an alpha standing between your open legs, getting ready to fuck you. The ruined fabric pooled around your hips and the cool air made your nipple pebble. But then Paz was right there, the bulk of his body between yours and you could feel his cock against the inside of your thigh.

He pushed the tip of his cock against your folds, slowly circling your clit and you whimpered. Why did everything he did feel so good? “Ready?” he asked, spreading your wetness around and you found yourself wishing that you could see. That you could see how big he was against you, how his hand gripped himself, how his brows might furrow in determination and the set of his lips as he pushed inside you.

But you could not have everything in life. And for this moment, the feeling of his cock stretching your walls was enough. He was here, he was alive and he made you feel so stars forsaken good.

“Fuck,” you sighed, “Paz …”

“That’s good, huh?” he grumbled, slowly pulling out before pushing back in. You could feel your walls ease around him, your juices covering his shaft and the gland on your neck pulsed with the need to have him scent you.

He remained still for a few moments and you took a deep breath, breathing him in again and trying to get yourself to realize that he was alive. Your alpha was alive.

Paz started to move, then, and slowly pushed inside you again before building up a steady rhythm that had him deep, deep inside you. And all you could think, between bouts of pleasure, was that he was alive. Paz was alive.

“Fuck,” you whispered, your hand shaking as you gripped the edge of the table, overcome with emotion, “A-alpha, I was so scared. “

A particularly hard thrust had your hands fly around his neck. “I was protecting you,” he replied, his voice shaking, “You were never in any danger, omega, I would not allow it.”

“I wasn’t scared for me, you di’kut,” you cursed as you hastily wiped away the tears streaming down your face, “I was scared for you!”

Paz grunted at your admission, pushing inside you again and pulling you as close as he could with the armour in the way. “And I was scared of never seeing you again,” he confessed into the darkness between your faces, “That I was breaking my promise to you.”

“Wh-What,” you gasped, feeling his cock grow inside you, “Alpha, what is happening?”

“Oh fuck,” he grunted, “Sorry, ‘mega, sorry, I didn't mean to – oh shit, love, you gotta stop squeezing me.”

Easier said than done. In fact, it seemed impossible. Because as soon as you realized that it was his knot swelling inside of you, all you could think about was what it would be like to be knotted by him. Which turned you on beyond belief.

The mental image of him filling you up to the brim, the giant size of him staying inside you, made your walls flutter and your high approach so much faster. Paz’s movements did not stop and you could feel the ring at his base growing and growing, catching on your entrance with every thrust and making you yearn to keep him inside.

“Alpha, will you – Can you – oh!” he hit that spot inside you again that made your blood sing and you fell back against the wall, completely at his mercy.

And then the light went out.

Your body tensed with fright and you squeaked, thinking something had gone horribly wrong. But Paz did not seem deterred and you faintly remembered that the light switch was somewhere on his side of the room.

There was a sound you could not pinpoint, followed by a loud clatter and then his hand was at the back of your neck, pulling you to him and you squirmed at how he folded you in half, his cock still nestled deep inside you and then he was … kissing you.

You gasped, the feeling of his lips familiar against yours and everything you had dreamed of.

“Fuck it feels good to fill you up,” he murmured, the praise making your cheeks warm.

Your legs were still trembling around his hips and you tightened your hold around his neck. Your nose bumped against his scent gland. Add that to the feeling of his smile against your shoulder and even retaking Mandalore could never rival the feeling of being scented by him.

“That good, huh?” he teased you, his lips moving against your skin.

He had some stubble that tickled your sensitive skin and you gasped, the sensation opening you up even more.

And then he pushed inside you one last time as you came around him. The knot at his base swelled with no signs of stopping, locking you together as he filled you up. You shivered at the feeling of him twitching inside you, spurts of come filling you up in a way you had never experienced before, increasing the pressure inside you that made your walls clench. He continued to rut against you, causing your clit to rub against his pelvis again and again, prolonging your peak.

After what felt like an eternity, you came down from your high, relishing in the feeling of him still pulsing inside of you. It was strange, something you had never experienced before, but the closeness made you sigh contentedly against his lips.

Paz was quiet save for a few grunts, his hands grabbing your hips, keeping you as close as possible.

“I’ve never been knotted before,” you admitted between kisses.

“Really?” Paz asked, his mouth pausing on yours, “How does it feel?”

“It feels kinda nice, alpha,” you whispered, pulling his face closer to yours again.

Paz did not say anything for a moment, his laboured breath loud in the small room. Then his hands cupped your face and you could feel his eyes on you and you wondered if he was able to see you despite the darkness. Probably not, after all, it was his visor that usually enabled him to do so. But he made you feel seen with how his thumbs brushed over the apples of your cheeks, still wet with tear tracks or how his lips softly landed on yours.

“I don’t think I told you yet,” he said against your mouth, “But you are beautiful. To me, you are the – the most stunning omega I have ever seen. When I was down there – when I … I dreamt of what it would be like to see you with my own eyes.”

A flutter started in your chest. An awful flutter of hope that had you thinking of futures beyond the next few days. He could not mean what you thought he meant, right?

“But you helmet –“ you started, trying to rationalize away the hope in your voice.

But Paz had other plans. “I want to court you,” he said, sounding as determined as ever, “Stars, I want to properly court you, love, whatever that entails for your clan but I asked Briggs and –“

“What?”

“I wanted to make sure that I did everything right,” he explained, his hand warm on your back, “So I asked him about any customs I might have to know, that last night before we left and – and for a second there it looked like I would never get to ask you. But I can, love, I can ask you now. Will you let me court you, ‘mega? Will you let me spend the rest of my life with you and Ragnar and all the other foundlings the stars let us have?”

“You – you want children, too?” you asked, feeling like the breath was stolen out of your lungs, “M-more than Rganar, I mean?”

You could feel his smile against your neck, the tip of his nose buried in the valley beneath your ear. “Course I do,” he confirmed, “Ragnar is the biggest gift of my life, I won't say no to that joy again.”

A laugh bubbled up in your chest and you could feel your walls clench around him. Paz moaned, his cock twitching inside you. “Is that a yes, then?” he asked carefully, his hand wandering up to cup the back of your neck. He moved away from you,

“Yes,” you breathed out with the biggest smile on your face, “Yes, Paz.”

The scent that surrounded you made you euphoric and you realized that it had been Paz all along. That sweet scent that made your heart beat faster and a smile appear on your lips? Paz fucking Vizsla.

“Open your eyes, mesh’la,” he asked you quietly, his breath warm on your face, “Look at me, sweetheart.”

And you did. Your eyes blinked open and it took you both an eternity and a second to get your eyes used to the seemingly blinding light of the storage room. But then your eyes met his and you saw Paz Vizsla for the first time.

He had dark eyes, just like you had daydreamed, and his hair looked just as soft as it had always felt. It was matted to his forehead in places and he looked … exhausted, like he had not slept in days. There were bruises on his cheekbones and you could see some dried blood and dirt on his jaw. But all of that was overshadowed by the brightest, biggest grin on his face.

It made the corners of his eyes crinkle and you could not help but smile back, absolutely in awe of the man in front of you. What were you supposed to say the first time you saw the face of the man you had fallen hopelessly in love with?

“You are handsome,” is what you settled on finally, carefully brushing your fingertip over his crooked nose.

He huffed out a laugh, his eyes twinkling with mirth. “Thank you, my love,” he rumbled and your heart skipped a beat at him calling you his. Because you were, truly, whether you had realised it before or not, his.

“I love you,” you blurted out, feeling oddly shy.

“I love you too,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “There is no version of this life in which I do not love you.”

“You will have to tell me about your scars,” you whispered, your eyes roaming over his face, catching on one that cut through his eyebrow, “Every single one.”

“I will,” he promised, kissing you again, “We have a lifetime for it.”

[volo-thereforeiam]

"Choice feminism" is bad for women in East Asia? What are you on about? Are you seriously rather subscribe to radical feminism that is so white and fail to account WOC and women from the global south in general? Are you seriously going to subscribe to a transphobic movement? You can't say this kind of feminism isn't transphobic because look at 4B or 6B4T in South Korea and China. The movement explicitly exclude transwomen and has been glorified to death by mostly white women. If anything I say the feminism that includes transwomen is good for East Asia to fix the transphobia problem. I feel sorry for transpeople in East Asia if all the feminists are like you.

I'm just going to elaborate point by point.

"'Choice feminism' is bad for women in East Asia? What are you on about?" On paper, choice feminism sounds great because it empowers women to do whatever they want, as long as it's their choice. In reality, women have been groomed to "choose" things that primarily benefit men. People don't make choices in a vacuum; we're influenced by our environment. When strict gender roles and expectations for women still exist aggressively in East Asia, the path of least resistance is to conform to those values. East Asian women "choose" to be housewives and follow exhaustive beauty regimes because society is kinder to them when they do. Or they think these choices are good for them due to moral grooming. Let me ask you: if a conservative, religious, sheltered, and uneducated woman chooses to marry a man 20 years older and have 5+ babies, how much of that is truly her choice? What women need is not empowerment, but agency.

"Are you seriously rather subscribe to radical feminism that is so white and fail to account WOC and women from the global south in general?" That's an interesting perspective, anon! I'd love to hear more about why you consider radical feminism to be "white" someday. Personally, I think liberal feminism (or 3rd wave feminism/choice feminism, I use these terms interchangeably) is the movement that fails to account for women from the global south. While it's true that liberal feminism is quite inclusive, it is still mostly US/Europe-centric (and for simplicity, I include Canada and Australia in the same category). This means that when it accounts for WOC, it's primarily considering WOC who live in those regions. It is known as "Western feminism" for a reason. Radical feminism, on the other hand, doesn't need to work as hard to include WOC from the global south because those women already tend to gravitate towards it instead of liberal feminism. The reason is that liberal feminism has shifted its focus from women’s issues to a broader concern with gender. When women outside the US and Europe haven’t even secured basic rights directly tied to their sex, why should they align with a movement that has moved on to different concerns?

"Are you seriously going to subscribe to a transphobic movement? You can't say this kind of feminism isn't transphobic because look at 4B or 6B4T in South Korea and China. The movement explicitly exclude transwomen and has been glorified to death by mostly white women." 4B and 6B4T at the core are meant to serve as direct opposition of South Korea and China's patriarchal state and combat its aggressive pro-natalist policies, which view women’s bodies and reproductive abilities as tools for the state’s future. Other aspects of the movement, such as rejecting rigid beauty standards and degrading depictions of women in otaku culture, are part of women's effort to not make themselves (excuse the wording) look "breedable". I hope it’s clear why transwomen can't be included in this specific movement.

Regarding the movement being glorified mainly by white women, I'm not aware it is the case because my focus isn't on the West like yours is. But even if we accept your claim as true, how does the support from white women automatically make the movement fundamentally "white" (and, by implication, bad in your view)? Roe v. Wade was just overturned, so it's understandable that Western women, especially Americans, would take an interest in the 4B movement. Or maybe they simply empathize with their fellow women. Let me ask you this: for someone so determined to include transwomen in every feminist movement, why do you consider white women less of women?

"If anything I say the feminism that includes transwomen is good for East Asia to fix the transphobia problem. I feel sorry for transpeople in East Asia if all the feminists are like you." Or we could have separate movements that collaborate when necessary but don't have to be synonymous. Why does feminism need to stretch itself thin to cover every issue? Isn't that one of the factors Roe v. Wade was overturned despite majority in the US disapproved supreme court decision? Feminism in the West has been defanged so much by consumerism, sex empowerment and gender issues. I also believe having a movement specifically for trans people allows for a focus on their unique issues, making it more effective.

You don't need to be sorry for transpeople here because what I'm fighting for can ultimately benefit them too. You policing women's advocacy movement, however, does not benefit anyone.

[biconickyoshi]

Hi! The Zukaang prophecy dream person here. What you said about a lot of people not even considering Aang and Zuko as a ship made me think. Following that thought, I fell down a rabbit hole that turned into something a lot deeper than just shipping discourse. I'm not a professional psychologist or anything, but I hope some of my insight on this topic is interesting. I apologise in advance for so many words to read!

As a kid I remember being very clueless about romance. I never really interpreted Aang's affection towards Katara as romantic at all, and I honestly have no idea why, since they literally kissed on screen multiple times. So that's why, for years, I remember trying to find a ship that I would like, yet nothing seemed to click just right. That is until the Avatar Renaissance of 2020 when a lot of new people joined the fandom, and a flood of new discussions arose, way different than it used to be years ago. It made me realize that the core of the issue lies in Aang himself. At least that's my own theory, feel free to disagree. A lot of popular avatar ships include everyone from the main cast, but rarely ever Aang himself, apart from the canon Kataang. In all aspects, Aang is an unconventional protagonist, one unheard of at the time. He is a monk, he is a pacifist, he is a vegetarian. For an average kid or teenager in 2005, I don't think much of these aspects are too relatable. We were and still are used to seeing agressive, determined teenage protagonists, ready to beat up the bad guy at any opportunity. That's what was considered "cool". So a bald 12 year old boy with an arrow on his head who grew up in a temple, surrounded by monks, who avoids hurting people, even those who wiped out his entire nation, is simply foreign. You often hear arguments against Kataang: he is too young for her, she sees him as a little brother, they simply don't fit. Those are all false statements, as rewatching the show without bias you can clearly see them love each other deeply and mutually. Aang is a child, but he is a person too, someone with his own values and principles, and so is Katara. To me, both of them are deserving of love, Aang is deserving of Katara's love.

I am now going to talk about the genocide of the air nomads, as I think I can provide a unique perspective on this. I am Ukrainian. The russian invasion of my country has been going for 10 years now, but two years ago specifically my whole world turned upside down when russia launched a full scale invasion, intending to conquer all of Ukraine. A lot of my beliefs of how the world worked changed drastically. Seeing myself from years ago in people from around the world, not yet knowing war, I think this is something you have to experience yourself to truly understand what it means for another nation to want yours erased from existence. Aang's entire nation is gone. Everyone. No one is alive, not a single person. I don't think many people truly let that sink in. He has to keep going every day with the knowledge that the world he is in doesn't have a place for his nation anymore. He has nowhere to go and no one to come to. He has the gaang, and that's wonderful, but it's not the same. He is the only person in the entire world who truly bears this pain. To me, imagining that for myself, is an indescribable horror. To imagine having no place to come back to, living among strangers who know nothing of you and your people. Yes, he has the temples that preseve history, but how much of them has been destroyed? Even the people at the Northern air temple, although fleeing a disaster, still contributed to the destruction and loss of that history.

Yet, bearing this unimaginative hurt, Aang is able to forgive. He is able to make peace with his loss, and let go of his feelings of rage. He wants to see good in the Fire nation people. And through that, he is the only one who can truly see Zuko as he is. Having let go of anger and hurt, he can see the genuine wish Zuko has for atoning for his family's sins. He can literally see through him, all his feelings and thoughts, like no one else. He holds no grudge, no hatered for him. If you ever have a war, genocide unleashed on your country, you would know how impossible it is to forgive. Yet, Aang, as the avatar, has no choice but to do just that, to let go. I think that alone makes Aang one of the strongest people in the avatar universe.

But how is this relevant to the Aang ships being dismissed? Circling back, to me, this is a matter of understanding. People resonate with Katara for her experience as a younger sister, thrown into the role of a mother figure, for her experience as a teenage girl in a sexist world, someone with a desire to become stronger despite being denied that opportunity, be it by the circumstances or by someone stronger than her deeming her "unworthy". People resonate with Sokka for his struggle to become a reliable leader, for his insecurity being the only one without a special "talent" (aka bending). Toph for her sheltered upbringing and parents that are unwilling to see her as more than just her disability. Zuko for his struggle with his identity, his own values versus those forced upon him, an abusive household, repressed emotions and anger, being a sibling of someone way more naturally talented, coming to terms with the hurt he has caused and atoning for it. But what can people find in Aang that resonates with them? All of what Aang is, is grand and bigger than yourself. I relate to Aang as someone whose nation is being subjected to genocide, but is that a common experience? I'm sure that nowadays a lot more people came to appreciate Aang's character more, but as a child in the 2000s, would you really say you saw yourself in Aang as much as you saw yourself in Sokka, Katara, Toph or Zuko?

In conclusion, my theory is that, because of how unique Aang has been written, that prevents people from seeing him as someone they could imagine in a relationship with someone else. After all, how can you write about someone you don't share many life experiences with? How do you write them in love? How do you make someone so different from you come to life?

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading all of my brain vomit. Avatar is truly a goldmine for character analysis and study. Would really love to hear what you think!

I absolutely loved reading your analysis on Aang's character, anon. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've brought up here. I think it's so true that many people (whether they're conscious of it or not) view Aang through a certain lens due to how unconventional of a protagonist and person he is. To many, he's not "supposed" to be the one who "gets the girl". He's not your stereotypical handsome/buff/rugged teenage boy protagonist; he's small, kind, goofy, and pacifistic. And I think in general that people find it difficult to wrap their heads around a male character like Aang not conforming to Western and/or patriarchal society's expectations/conventions when it comes to behavior and overall physical appearance. I think this also results in a lot of people unconsciously infantilizing Aang and having a hard time viewing him in a shippable way.

It's also interesting that you brought up Aang's almost "otherness" when it comes to the world he finds himself in when he awakens from the iceberg - he is the last one of his kind in a world where nobody remembers his people. He's from a culture that is vastly different from the ones that remain in the world. His philosophy, mannerisms, gender expression, appearance, etc. are all completely unique, not only canonically in the post-genocide AtLA world, but in our world as well, especially in the West.

The fact that despite everything Aang has been through, despite all the atrocities he has witnessed, he still is able to remain true to himself at his core through to the very end is so moving to me. Aang will always be my favorite character all time simply because of who he is. Even as a kid, I loved him so much - I never had a crush on Zuko or Sokka, it was always Aang. He represented not only the type of person I would want to be, but also the type of person I would want to be with. And sure, he's not perfect, but that's another one of the many things I love about him - he's human, he makes mistakes.

I feel like I could say more, but you already wrote so much good stuff in your analysis, and I'm not sure if there's much I could add haha.

Also, thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who lives in Ukraine - I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be dealing with all of Russia's BS the past decade, and especially recently. I sincerely hope you're staying safe and healthy! <3

[alwaysoc]

[murobrown]

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