#i love huaisang so much but he sucks so bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

madtomedgar · 2 years

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Confession: I've nearly dropped out of CQL fandom because people have gotten so much Worse about Nies vs JGY in the last year or so that I can't stomach it. I like JGY and NHS but really really do not like NMJ, and it seems like the latter is a dealbreaker with all parties because I feel bad for NHS insofar as NMJ also victimizes him and he's so fucking In It that his family treating him like shit completely consumes his life in a dead-end revenge quest in which he takes it out on everyone else while attempting to target JGY, and everyone else is like. Well that clearly just means he loves his brother so much, OR he's just complicit/willing to accept anything from NMJ. Either way these two are joined at the hip forever, Do Not Separate, and any inclination that maybe NHS would've been better off, and done far less harm, if he was less Stuck with his own family (going down with the ship there!) is shot down because he Sided With NMJ In The End (and is privileged enough to *checks notes* live with someone who is explosive/abusive towards him but also dotes on him allegedly, which cancels the former out), so everything else is impossible to have ever changed, unnecessary or undeserved. It's like if he liked or was loyal to NMJ then he deserves no sympathy for having been collateral in NMJ's outbursts, or he wasn't hurt enough compared to others for that to count. I don't like the brother who terrorizes his sibling, I'm upset by the scenes in CQL and FJ of him blowing up at NHS, destroying his stuff, terrifying him, AND the scenes of him attacking JGY. I'm sensitive to the ~less bad~ stuff with NHS because they are siblings. I feel bad for both the terrorized-but-loyal sibling and the even-more-terrorized and more-threatened sworn brother, and that's got no place anywhere.

Anyways confession goes here bc you're the only person I've ever seen talk about NMJ in terms of explosive anger for which he does bear some responsibility in terms of dealing with the fallout, and talk about how "if you don't want to be hurt then just don't be there when I'm angry, and if I can't help it you can't hold it against me" fucking sucks as a framework, and even if you don't share this take on NHS (which is fair, like I said I don't think anyone probably does) you'd at least get why NMJ is so... much (derogatory) in ways that aren't solely because he's a shit employer/sworn brother.

Nonny, you are so valid and cool for this ask and I love you.

I... really hate how, because the actor tears up a lot and seems like a nice person whose personality inflects his acting, fandom has decided that Nie Mingjue is actually a sweet, sensitive and reasonable person who never "really" treated anyone too badly. And haha Nie Huaisang is such a brat! Like. I don't talk much about it but that honestly makes me see red.

I... look. I think anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of a mentor figure, parent figure, or sibling's explosive anger issues is going to project our shit onto this dynamic. And in my case that... unfortunately comes along with the fantasy of it actually being possible to make that person see what they're doing, and understand, and stop so that you can still have, or have again, the parts of that relationship that are/were good without having to worry about your safety and tiptoe around them. So I often wind up giving Nie Mingjue more credit or energy than is really warranted, because I want Nie Huaisang to have a brother who shows care for him in a way that isn't yelling at him, threatening him, and controlling him, and I want Jin Guangyao to be able to keep that deep respect and affection you see in his eyes in some of their early scenes.

And, like I said, you are very correct about Nie Huaisang. Idk I don't... like to label character dynamics as abuse unless it's explicit. Partially because I feel like it makes it hard to talk about the dynamic, in that it supersedes and flattens every conversation into "person A bad, person B good/helpless," and because in my experience, when someone calls a dynamic abusive, or even says it reminds them of something they experienced that they're calling abuse, people get REALLY mad and REALLY nasty really fast and I want to enjoy myself here lol.

That being said, yeah, frankly, a lot of how Nie Mingjue treats Nie Huaisang, if you just described what is happening without attaching character names, most people would think was deeply fucked! I think a lot of "Nie bros" people write it off by blaming Jin Guangyao, or say "oh he didn't really mean it" because... Nie Huaisang continually runs away and refuses to do saber practice? Which isn't the evidence they think it is.

The place I have a hard time with Nie Huaisang is that, while he didn't want to be a cultivator, especially in the saber style, he was given literally the best education and opportunities in the world, despite sucking and not wanting them. And then you have Meng Yao, who wants to go to school so bad and would be so diligent and happy and good! And instead he has to do jobwork, which involves taking care of Nie Huaisang and his education. And unfortunately the extent to which he gets to be a pampered little princeling turns me off the character big time. Which doesn't negate the incredibly fucked up situation he's in with his brother, or his suffering there. I think also the way he responds to Nie Mingjue's... everything by kind of antagonizing him and being a refusnik also pushes some buttons for me for reasons I don't want to get into, while Jin Guangyao's waffling between appeasement and trying to reason with him resonates big time. And then of course the "I have turned your explosive rage into a bomb and the next time you turn it on me, you will explode and die. Just fyi." Is like. Amazing, Incredible, Phenomenal, Iconic, etc.

Idk this is not the first fandom I've been in where there's been a like. Physically much larger and stronger character who has serious anger issues that they externalize onto characters who are visibly weaker and smaller, and somehow a large chunk of the fandom has decided that actually, it's the big scary yelling violent one who is so sad and in need of gentle handling and hugs and maybe if everyone stopped being so mean to them etc. And the weaker character, when they deploy the methods available to them to defend themselves, are like. Evil conniving manipulators who are playing the victim card and 100% emotionally abusing the person... being violent towards them. It's weird and it keeps happening and I don't get it other than that it might be like... people love twists and the unexpected, and so "what if the person who looks like the dangerous one here actually wasn't!" seems like good storytelling?

But yeah. I don't think Nie Mingjue is like. Evil or a one-dimensional monster or anything, but I also wish fandom was more willing to really dig into his explosive anger issues and the negative effects that has on his brother and Jin Guangyao (and Lan Xichen tbqh).

#untamed stuff #long post #shameless jiggy apologism #every day i lose more respect for nie mingjue

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llycaons · 1 year

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Section Seven: The Dumpster Fire

Drawn from my exposure to some weird shit on ao3 and contributions from mutuals, these are fics that are so bad I’m posting them for the sole purpose of mocking them and/or complaining about them. If you like bad fanfic and nonsensical characterizations, come and have a laugh.

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane

summary: one of the most generic, unjust, and soulless fics I’ve ever read. lwj has zero personality, wwx is extremely bland, and wen yuan’s mom is presented as criminally neglectful. the sex scenes are rote, mechanical, and devoid of passion or intimacy, and I felt negative chemistry throughout the entire work. jsz was an aggressive, uncouth homophobe, and jyl was a perfect pure angel whose decision to marry him had me baffled. almost impressive gold stars: the way a-yuan was written was legitimately excellent. accurate to his developmental age and genuinely touching. his abandonment issues and concept of family actually made me cry. a strange and unforgettable work

KILF (Knits I’d Like To Fuck in) by ScarlettStorm

summary: the sequel to the reluctantly recommended “For a Good Time, Call” includes and enthusiastically explores of every single thing that was slightly weird about that fic. quick summary of the main conceit: lwj and wwx are in a relationship, and wwx gets cold easily, and lwj decides to start a project to keep him warm. sounds cute? seemed cute! started out fine. but like the og fic, the relationship was just so lifeless and devoid of passion or chemistry. every chapter just made it painfully obvious that these weren’t cql characters to the op, they were (white) toys to play with. everyone talks like they’re trying to get an A in therapy. wwx is genderfluid, which is ofc fine but he said he wanted to be a stay-at home wife? and then he’s referred to as a ‘femboy’? uh nhs wears yoga pants...I love gnc characters but wwx and nhs are treated as very feminine to a weird degree. jin zixuan is demisexual, I guess! wen qing is fucking jc! there’s nothing wrong with writing from what you know, but the characterizations were based off fucking...nothing from canon. it was infuriating and it felt so disrespectful to every single creative voice involved in canon and I hated reading it so much

there was no plot and the majority of the fic focused on their home decor activities, which was boring as fuck, and their elaborate sex scenes, which were sooooo drawn out and pointless even when they tried to be ~character work~ and the fic further explored wwx making an OnlyFans and lwj participating in the most gratuitously sexual and crass way possible, but in a way that I THINK it was supposed to be sexy and titillating? I can’t even fucking tell! I didn’t like reading it! of course I respect sex worlers but what WAS this! the romance writing truly did suck SO bad which is unfortunate because apparently the author is a romance writer? I had to take breaks multiple times because I getting genuinely upset and angry with it. who enjoys this? who enjoys this

highlighted excerpt:

“Nie Huaisang, nonbinary femme-leaning aromantic pansexual non-hierarchical polyamorous slut, at your service.”

- I’m embarrassed for the author

gold stars: the therapy talk may have been annoying but it did result in some heartfelt conversations and very satisfying depictions of wwx dealing with some shit and slowly recovering from it, which was kind of cool. like the previous fic in this series, it felt like the conversations led to actual progress and personal growth. also they fought in one of the scenes and I was so giddy because I thought they were about to break up, so it did give me that

Yunmeng Jiang loves their Sect Leader by Roselle_Storm

summary: this fic reads like a parody of those jc fans who refuse to think he’s ever done anything wrong. it’s short and funny and you can read the entire thing in a few minutes. the utter confidence of the author here. that the people of yunmeng know him intimately and love him. that he plays with war orphans and protects children. that he’s a tragic, self-sacrificing, self-loathing hero who is seen and recognized as such by his people. all this so completely at odds with his canon character and choices as to be enthralling

highlighted excerpt:

Yunmeng Jiang loves their Sect Leader and Jiang Cheng loves Yunmeng Jiang… but… no matter how hard they try; they cannot mend the broken heart of their beloved sect leader. They try and Jiang Cheng gives them all the love he has left but the pain on his heart is too deep for them to heal.

Jiang Cheng hurts every day. He hurts but he has to keep going. [...]

[Jin Ling] sees how Jiang Cheng plays with the children, the orphans of war. He takes care of their needs, and never neglects any of them.

- I CANNOT get over the 'plays with war orphans’ line for a character who openly advocated to abandon political prisoners, including a toddler, to mass murder. someone who has never played with a child once on screen and does not have a playful personality in the slightest. someone canonically deeply bitter and resentful and self-pitying and immature and emotionally volatile and aggressively violent. obsessed

gold stars: it made me laugh very hard

my age has never made me wise by idrilka

summary: in the first few chapters of this insultingly characterized and poorly written postcanon get-together, an absurdly oblivious and incompetent wwx almost dies due to being bizarrely passive and bad at cultivation during a night-hunt. he later hears that lwj is planning to get married, and falls into a deep depression over it, because he’s just realized he wants to be the one to marry him. jc gives wwx romantic advice like “YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH A COMB” yeah how did that work out for you, jc? also jc is The One Who Knows wwx somehow even though he tries to hide his true feelings, oh he can’t fool his bro! like ofc he can! that’s a huge part of their dynamic! wwx is also much more admiring and appreciative of jc here that is canon. also jc is really awful and emotionally manipulative and it’s just? not treated as an issue?? wwx never talks to him about it or set boundaries even though jc’s behavior makes him miserable?

as the miscommunication eventually starts to be sorted out in the most on-the-nose, unimaginative, boring way I could have imagined, I realized that lwj isn’t actually in this fic, it’s edward cullen from twilight. the excessive and yet generic declarations of love. the single-minded fixation on marriage. reluctance to have sex because they’re not married yet because he wants to adhere to some arbitarry social standard his fiance clearly doesn’t care about, the readiness to marry two extremely young people who are also cousins (not canon to twilight but he WOULD), the weird presumptuousness regarding his love interest, the emphasis on family almost to the exclusion of what his fiance is actually comfortable with, etc. I think the phrase ‘I intend to do right by you’ is lifted directly from the pages of eclipse. like…he’s obsessed with doing things the ‘right way’ I do think honoring wwx is important to him but I just think the way he’s going about it is extremely unimaginative, impersonal, and most importantly, driven by what he wants instead of what wwx expresses to him that HE wants. canon lwj is so attuned to and respectful of wwx’s desires, whims, and emotional state, and so ready to accommodate him, that his fixation on this plan, and his forging ahead with it just feels so bizarre and out of left field when wwx varies in his responses so much.

also lwj is way too concerned about what others think - in canon lwj hates that wwx is being judged, but he’s not going to scramble to accommodate others and uphold the social conventions to appease them. in his mind if they have a problem, THEY should be the ones accommodate WWX instead. this lwj is so concerned with doing the right thing in regards to wwx so that he’s accepted by the world, when in canon lwj thinks wwx should be able to do whatever he wants and the rest of the world needs to deal with it. like his entire character arc is about rejecting mainstream judgements and trusting/believing in wwx and their shared moral compass. so who IS this man

overall this plot is nonsensical, the dialogue is heavy-handed and uninteresting, the characterizations are a mess, and there’s weird undertones of feminizing wwx that I really dislike (he mentions not having a DOWRY which wasn’t even a thing in ancient china and there being no BRIDE PRICE which doesn’t coexist with dowries anyway!). I love purple prose, but everything is so plain and spoon-fed to us, it’s really not a well-written piece. and this lwj is so ooc and unpleasant and boring, and he talks way too much. also there’s jl/lsz dropped in casually as if wwx and lwj would be happy to marry two cousins together. this writer is a fucking idiot

gold stars: the letters between lwj and wwx are actually quite substantial and interesting, which is a rarity among these types of fics. and the final wedding chapter is really sweet and passionate and I liked it. everything in the middle tho. pass

Twin Heroes by RavenclawLoki

summary: a hilariously ooc reconciliation work. more absurd than offensive.has nearly every bad jc take under the sun. pretending that wwx and jc both have the same amount of mistakes to work on. saying that jc always believed/hoped wwx had survived the fall. jc mentioning how revolting lwj and wwx holding hands is every two seconds. wwx loyally defending jc’s parenting skills even tho he canonically knows that jc has serious issues in the way he raises jl. and other stuff, like having jl lock wwx and jc in a room together, and having lwj being okay to just stand outside it. because wwx and jc are young children who will get along if they’re forced to spend time together, I guess? no effort to respect either of their stated needs and preferences. of course not. they don’t need space or time or support or trust. just force them to spend time together! also there’s like, sibling telepathy that’s not explained? the writing is also quite juvenile and awkward

highlighted excerpts:

Lan Wangji may be in love with Wei Wuxian but could he not look at him like he was the best thing to ever happen to him?

- literally what are you saying. you are communicating nothing

“Wei Wuxian…”

“Jiang Cheng…”

“I don’t want to fight anymore!” Both yell out at the same time.

“Wait, really?” They say again at the same time.

- is this an american children’s show? are these characters 12 years old?

gold stars: sometimes it’s very funny in ways that MIGHT be intentional.

Drive the Wolves From My Door by InTheGreySpaces

summary: postcanon wwx, on his travels, runs into a pregnant teenager who’s been assaulted and takes her under his wing. due to some contrived, frustrating, drawn-out, and extremely nonsensical bits of miscommunication, lwj becomes convinced wwx is returning home with a wife and shuts himself away in his home so wwx, when he comes back to gusu, can’t even clear things up immediately. literally everyone knew the truth at one point but lwj was physically locked in his house. christ. like what happened to not jumping to conclusions and trusting wwx? you’re going to believe this on a vague message and the word of SECT LEADER YAO??

eventually things gets sorted out, but not before wwx magically takes on her pregnancy pains and they have to scramble to cure him of the spiritual attachment because…wwx going through the pain of childbirth would be so bad, but this teenager can do it just fine don’t worry about her. in the end wwx and lwj adopt the baby, which is cute, but then the young mother ends up marrying jc, which is not.

the oc baby is named "Aimi' which based on every source I could find, is a terrible fake Chinese name so this along with the dowry line makes it sound like the author did zero research

it’s incredibly misogynistic and callous to make a woman’s sexual assault a set dressing, and then co-opt a survivor’s story to center the men who save her. the disrespect of her as a person all throughout…jc was a man of almost 40 and she was a teenager when they met. she was used as a plot device the entire fic and in the end she’s rewarded to this asshole like a prize. wwx also treats her very poorly (lying to her, revealing info about her without her consent, distracting her so he can sneak off, etc.) while pretending to protect her. the misogyny isn’t ooc for any of them, but I hate that the writing goes along with it too. a struggle from start to finish

highlighted excerpt:

‘Once Jiang Cheng sets his mind to something, it is done thoroughly. He will treasure her as a jewel no doubt….She will keep Jiang Cheng in line, and he will shower her with every affection. She deserves it after everything she has endured.’

- why is it this woman’s job to keep him in line...she doesn’t have a particularly strong personality anyway, and no she does not deserve this?!

gold stars: uh. it’s nice when wx get a baby girl. I guess. and wwx being so very in love is cute. otherwise ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everyanything by deliciousblizzardshark, lingeringdust

summary: to be fair I never finished this fic, but basically qin su kills herself out of grief/revenge like mxy did in canon, and wwx comes back in her body. but instead of qin su’s canon situation. she’s locked in a filthy shed with a baby by the time she does the sacrifice. so it’s basically genderbent mxy? the emphasis on wwx’s post-res body really weirded me out, going on about massive, leaking breasts and all, and the discomfort of…a period? maybe? I guess being in A Woman’s Body is just aches and pains and leaking from who knows here. also, wwx doesn’t know the word for vagina which is absurd enough to land it on this list even without the undertones of feminization.

highlighted excerpt:

“The baby has to be changed and fed,” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Wangji gave him a suspicious look.“We will fetch food for the child,” he said. Wei Wuxian blinked at him, then laughed nervously. “Ah, Hanguang-jun,” he said. “Babies this young don’t eat food. I have to feed him myself.” - lwj doesn’t know about breastfeeding. maybe not too unbelievable given the seperation of genders in his sect but that seems extreme gold stars: well I guess wwx is trans now so uh. there’s that

all that glitters by notinamillionyears

summary: ah, the infamous christian wwx fic. the author was projecting, I guess? so this is already a red flag for me in fan content - I know chinese christians exist of course, but I don't like to see wuxia characters reimagined like that this fic in particular goes to such lengths to give him long philosophical monologues about God and cathedrals that this character is entirely unrecognizable from canon wwx in literally every single way. wwx is a character from a chinese wuxia series, the folklore and worldbuilding of which draws heavily from taoism. furthermore, the worldviews of taoism and christianity are so fundamentally different that any change to these characters' underlying belief system will almost inevitably alter them as people in ways I am utterly uninterested in. and erasing the canon spiritualities and realities of these characters to replace them with christianity is also incredibly disrespectful and tone-deaf. nonsensical, insensitive, and poorly characterized as this is, it easily qualifies as one of the worst fics I’ve ever read. and none of his ramblings even make sense for his personality or apply to anything he goes through in canon. imo wwx is not wwx if he's christian. he's just not. and don't even get me started on 'catholic lwj' or fans trying to characterize the lan sect as catholic. not in this fic but the posts I have seen about it... also there’s some kind of creepy ageplay-related content but I genuinely find the christian thing worse. in the words of a beloved mutual: what are you, a missionary? highlighted excerpt: Lan Zhan swallows hard, then again, his beautiful Adam’s Apple bobbing like he’d eaten something he didn’t chew properly and it’s stuck in his throat. Is it called Adam’s Apple because it got stuck in Adam’s pharynx after he’d realized that he’d eaten the thing that would chuck him out of heaven? Are Adam’s Apples here to remind us that we have a sin embedded forever into our body, that it’s inescapable? - I think wwx has had enough to deal with in his life, without being forced to perceive himself and his life through the filter of christian sin. leave him alone gold stars: actually, the rest of the fic is pretty good on a technical level. I have no complaints about the plotless, atmospheric, meandering story. the broad emotional strokes of it - desperate, reflective and tragic - really did draw me in, the language evocative and rich. and there were some passages about wwx’s chronic pain that I felt were quite moving.

Taste of Heavenly Rush by Tomorrow (Sux2Succs)

summary: an extremely offputting and unpleasant roleplay fic, albeit with an interesting twist that retroactively legitimizes many previous interactions. the setup is that wwx, bored and neglected by his nameless husband, is approached by a sexy sexy rich stranger who buys him food and brings him up to his penthouse for sex. wwx gives his name as ‘xie lian’ and the stranger (obviously lwj) gives his as ‘hua cheng’. the thing is. wwx is still called wwx, but the narrative only calls lwj ‘hua cheng’, and he acts exactly like tgcf’s hua cheng does. so most of this reads as a pwp between hua cheng and wwx, which is deeply unappealing anyway but there are little moments where ‘hc’ comes on so strong and pushy it seems like he’s pressuring wwx into sex, hc is frequently possessive and presumptuous about someone he literally just met, or it implies wwx owes him for the food. gritted my teeth through this disaster until - it’s revealed about 3/4 of the way through that this was all an elaborately pre-planned roleplay, lwj IS the as-yet-nameless husband, and all the pushiness and possessiveness were in fact just kind of funny choices in a long playacting activity. but even as the atmosphere radically improves, the weirdness lingers. for most of the story, there’s almost nothing of the actual lwj shining through, and since their personalities are faked and then it’s so physical, it feels like there is nothing emotional or genuine between them. maybe this is all down to personal taste, but i just don’t like reading wx fics where they’re not acting like themselves on purpose. furthermore, the fact that lwj is just playing hc strips away what’s interesting and vulnerable and compelling not just about lwj but also about hc himself. the person in this fic is neither, just a caricature of an extremely rich and unrealistically sexy, confident Manly man with a dash of god worship. it felt like he walked right out of twilight (which I’ve read) or even fifty shades of gray. canon lwj can’t even lie and we’re supposed to believe he can keep up this level of roleplay? he’s just not a playful person. unless this is just really close to how the author treats him anyway which….1. ew and 2. ooc!! does the author really see every gay couple as the Tall Muscular Manly Rich Confident Top and the Shy Unsatisfied Feminine Emotionally Needy Giggly Vain Bottom???? finally, I understand that writing a wwx POV pre-reveal without letting the secret out must have been tricky, and they do pull off some fun and clever bits, but there are multiple scenes where wwx’s internal dialogue makes literally no sense when you know he knows it’s lwj, so the reveal is impossible to predict and feels less satisfying afterwards (or on a reread). wwx also references multiple times that it’s been a long time since he’s felt so sexy or that he’s had the thrill of being with someone so exciting, so that points to his life with lwj being boring or unfulfilling, which kind of sucks. lwj is a busy surgeon, and wwx is left taking care of their kid and apparently not getting his needs met, framed like he’s some unsatisfied housewife this is set in Shanghai, so I also found it weird that wwx described men multiple times as “Asian”, first of all that’s a huge variety of people, and second of all HE’S Asian and living in/from an Asian country so why would he mention that? and I can’t emphasize enough how goofy this shit was written. self-aware or no, it was bad. they described a dick as “a delectable flared mushroom’. they also embedded links to various expensive outfits, rooms, hot tubs, etc, which was supposed to set the scene I guess but it was both distracting and came off as desperate and over-compensating. wwx is canonically not the kind of person to care about grandious displays of nauseating wealth, something he actually mentions in the fic itself, but it doesn’t seem to matter, bc the author certainly thinks we should be impressed and that the characters are impressed as a matter of course. but he literally hates that shit in canon! highlighted excerpts (yeah, multiple) Out of nowhere, Wei Ying’s mouth becomes an oasis. ...

“Come here,” the naked god beckons.

... By the time they enter a bedroom, [he’s] is heedlessly bouncing on his cock, wantonly humping and grunting like a wild beast.

...

Thick black hair is sent tumbling down, ends reaching all the way to his shoulder blades — long enough now to cover his chocolate nips like Lady Godiva. and the big one As if Wei Ying didn’t feel outclassed enough, he doesn’t miss the sparkling diamond bezel around the black dial of his platinum Rolex. A watch like that would make Wei Ying’s hands look feminine in size while his hands make the watch itself look small. It suits him. this dynamic is all wrong, too. wwx never feels intimidated or outclassed by lwj’s wealth or physical appearance - he feels excited and challenged by lwj’s skills and looks. he enjoys finding someone who can reach his level, not the other way around. the fic that has him say ‘so what? there are like a crap ton of rich people in this world’ captured him so much better than this rag. it makes lwj looks like a tool and wwx shallow and ooc, and the forcing of wwx into a feminine role and lwj into a masculine one is genuinely homophobic gold stars: the reveal saved this work from being about two ooc pieces of shit- a sleazy, opportunistic rich douchebag who uses his wealth to pressure lonely guys at bars into sex, and a petulent tool who cheats on his affectionate yet busy husband with some sexy rando while his husband is off saving lives as a surgeon. where the author manages to make the double identity work both before and after the reveal, it’s a genuine treat. see this section: Wei Ying whispers, “Husband,” raising his chin a bit higher. But you knew that. - THIS is a fun little wink to readers who know the reveal, while acting in service of the game and characterizing both wwx and ‘hc’

you can find an actually decent fic about attempted wx rp on my rec page (And all the ways we meet (and meet again) by Aerlalaith), in Part One, Section III. and it’s far more awkward, silly, in-character, and charming in its failures than this one is

Therapy is a Performative Act by cinder1013

I ran into this one and thought it looked intriguing. it was entertaining, but. it's bad. it's ooc and embarrassing and the author has some really weird blind spots. this is ripped from the post I made about it

summary: no plot or real narrative, just a selection of standup. this is fine, it’s just that for the most part the standup is quite bad and unfunny. jc calls wwx a q****r (the noun, not an adjective. not insultingly, but he’s presumably cishet in this work so 😬). he then gets in a zinger about how oblivious wwx is. he also makes lwj laugh because he’s just so funny I guess. the fic is full of images of outdated memes and images of real-life actor wzc.

this author REALLY hates jfm. I get that he wasn’t great but it seems like some bias to pretend that he was worse than myu, who was emotionally and physically abusive to all her children. here he is homophobic while she is not. myu comes to jc’s comedy nights to support him and jfm stopped talking to him completely after coming to half of one, which as my mutual mouse pointed out, is actually quite funny if you think about it like he disowned his cringefail son for being unfunny in public. jc calls myu a bitch in public FOR HIS ROUTINE which almost made me faint. like she would murder him if he did that in canon. actually murder him. jyl throws soup at jfm. for being homophobic. jc heroically stands up for a poor harassed barista, gets her phone number, and then gets married to her. myu hugs jc’s wife in public. jc is now expecting a child with his wife?? what universe is this where jc gets bitches so easily and his mother is openly affectionate.

jc called wwx a ‘chaos gremlin’ like five times in part one. according to jc, wwx took all his halloween candy since it was his birthday which…okay I guess everyone’s ooc here. wwx dressed up as myu for halloween which is so ballsy I can’t believe myu didn’t actually murder him but in this setting it seems she’s cool with everything he does, she’s just….kind of mean? jc does an entire bit whining about how wwx only ever brought home cherry lollipops from the hospital, and not grape. this isn’t funny at all but ig it’s in character.

jc may be funny in the right circumstances, though I don’t think I could see him in such a vulnerable position as this and I think he would rather die than insult his mother in public in FRONT OF HER.

jc calls himself a peacock then has to clarify that his next bit about a peacock is referring to jzx and not himself, which seems like a convoluted and confusing way to write it. this bit is sooo long and boring oh my GOD. jc exclusively referring to wwx as ‘the gremlin’ 😭he keeps sidetracking his own story to tell off people he’s worried will photoshop him as a furry, which is really annoying. also jc tells the crowd ‘my kink is not your kink’ which implies he’s a proshipper in this one??? or something?? man I never trust that phrase

mainly this was a lot of secondhand embarrassment and muttering ‘oh they would not do that’ and ‘ough, that’s so ooc and annoying’

gold stars: the concept is inherently quite funny. also some of the heckling got a laugh out of me

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami

summary: so I haven’t read this beyond the first few paragraphs, but my mutual gave me the details so I’m going to largely paraphrase from our discord convo about it

setup: wwx, decades postcanon, having lived a full and happy life with lwj, including children and grandchildren, sends himself back in time to redo his life from birth. he’s born with full sentience as an older man and complete memory of his past life. he does this because jc is unhappy

I dislike time travel fics in general, but especially so for wwx because while he has a lot of regrets, one of his greatest strengths as a person is to keep looking forward and find joy and home and family, whatever circumstances he’s in. imo it’s this powerful character trait of his that makes his first death so shocking and tragic, and a time-travel fix-it neatly misses this very important and thematically resonant aspect of about his character

there are fully 44 works in this popular series and I haven’t read any of them, so I’ll summarize my favorite points

-he never tells lwj about his past life

- jc apparently hasn’t done anything wrong and as soon as myu realizes wwx is going to marry out of the sect she becomes really chill. she also goes through all of wwx’s memories and then gives him and lwj sex advice based on it. treated as normal

- the lans are ‘cartoonishly evil’ and the author asserts that their forms are useless and should be discarded. I think the author had themself a little grudge

- wq married herself a feminist when she married jc because he let her keep her last name. just like every single other couple did in ancient china

- author got mad when they were corrected about cultural inaccuracies

- jzx kills jgs and nobody really cares despite patricide being the BIGGEST no-no

- ‘queerplatonic qingxicheng’ like WHAT

- some random straight couples: wen ning/qin su, jgy/madam mo, lqr/madame jin. very strange

- some direct quotes: “the only ppl who knew the full truth about wwxs previous life where all the women is his life, which had some weird gender vibes (i think madam yu might have even had some internal monologue about how ~men cant handle the truth).”

- “jcs whole misogynistic list of demands for his wife is waved away with oh its cause hes ace and is just describing his sister :)))”

in conclusion: the author is a racist idiot who’s way too into the Divine Feminine, or wheel of time-style gender essentialism or something. the idea of wwx giving up a hard-earned life of family and happiness for jc’s sake AGAIN is genuinely one of the most insulting and depressing things you could do to him after he’s started to learn to set boundaries, accept love, and process his trauma in a supportive environment

if he were to ever find himself in this situation, he would definitely be more focused on jyl and the wens being, you know, ALIVE, than jc getting what he wants

gold stars: yeah, right

I think this one wins actually. not having read it, I can’t say for certain, but this definitely sounds worse than KILF, my personal least favorite of the list. being so long, it has more opportunities to be fucking awful. I have decided It’s the crown jewel of my collection. if anyone has anything to add about it, let me know

this is it for the anti-rec list…for now. I’ll continue browsing my history to see if I can find anything else as bad as this. feel free to send in YOUR most hated cql/mdzs fanfic and why, and I’ll take a look! happy reading!

Back to Start

#ficblogging #fic recs #but not really #this is short and it may or may not be added onto #recs-7

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ibijau · 2 years

Text

tagged by @marsdiogenes (I... can’t tag u for some reason, rip)

Post the following:

- top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular)

-your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year

-your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year

-your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year

-and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this (last) year!

tagging @veraverorum @silliam-hill @robininthelabyrinth and hh anyone feeling like doing tbh I suck at thinking who to tag rip me prz

5 most proud of works (rip me, I barely wrote anything in 2022)

Worse Than Strangers PERSUASION AU FTW I had so much fun writing this, trying to give it an Austen vibe and all

How to woo a Lan the nhs and jl friendship fic bc that concept is SO important to me, I want them to be friends

A Gift of Trust : trans woman lxc in canon era, need I say more. trans lxc is so, so dear to me, and it’s probably not, like, the best fic ever, but I just loved writing it

Nie Huaisang VS the very bad porn retelling the title says it all loool it was fun to write too

100 shades of xisang still can’t believe I did that, finding all the prompts and somehow filling them. Glad I did it, never doing it again looo

4 Current wips I’m excited about:

fake dating to real marriage pipeline (modern au, lxc gets dumped by jgy, nhs offers to fake date as revenge, it gets out of hand)

trans nhs arranged marriage (lxc and nhs are engaged, lxc is very happy about it, nhs is terrified the lan sect will force him to detransition)

that’s it. I have other wips, but I’m not slightly excited about them orz like at most I’d like to finish the second persuasion au but whether that happens or not is gonna be a mystery. Honestly, even the two wips mentionned here will probably never be posted, even though they’re both several K longs already

3 biggest improvements

I don’t... think I’ve improved? At all? If anything, my writing in 2022 felt less good than what I wrote in 2021.

2 resolutions for 2023

find joy in creating again

work on “original” stuff maybe

1 favourite line

“ Pettiness solved nothing but it was amusing, and he deserved a little fun sometimes. “ - From This Day On

#jau rants #this ended up being very depressing loooool #2022 was a bad year for writing #I expect 2023 to be way way worse

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vrishchikawrites · 3 years

Note

Its a prompt! (And dont worry about it, absolutely love reading your writing XD) Okay so dimension travel, so we all agree in a world where WWX was raised in another sect (like Lan/Nie) That he would be absolutely adored by them and everyone, healthy relationships( even Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian wouldn't be on a bad term much because no WWX JYL interaction) so! Canon!WWX from post ssc timeline gets transmigrated/summoned to one of these worlds where hes raised by either Lan or Nie so 1/2

They're a bit confused seeing WWX in black clothes, and seeing his gaunt/tired appearance and him being so on guard around them (since he's usually open and loved) that they ask him why is it so? Does he not know Lan Xichen/Nie Mingjue back from whicher place he came from, and Wei Wuxian goes 'Ive met them/we're not close' they ask 'sorry if its a bit personal but who were you raised by?' and WWX replies the Jiangs and cue everyone horrified cuz Jiangs areopen in their heavy dislike of WWX2/2

'It's my fault.' Nie Huaisang thinks as he frantically collects all the materials needed, 'It is my fault, I need to fix this.'

His er-ge was gone. His brother, Da-ge's pride and joy, the shining star of the Nie Clan.

Gone. Just like that.

One minute they're on an easy nighthunt and the next, Wei Wuxian is pushing him away to take an attack straight to his chest.

He knows his brother is gone. His body may be alive, but just barely. He's drowning in his own blood and there's nothing Nie Huaisang can do. There's no cognition in his eyes, that bright silver gaze is dull and blank.

He has to do something.

The ritual may not work. It came with so many warnings that Nie Huaisang lost the patience to read them all the way through. If something goes wrong, it goes wrong.

"Huaisang! What are you doing?!" Da-ge's voice is loud but Nie Huaisang doesn't pay any attention to it. The room is sealed and it would take da-ge some time to break through it.

"Nie Huaisang!"

Good, Lan Xichen is here. He'll take care of da-ge if something goes wrong.

"Huaisang!" There's a loud crash but he doesn't pay any attention to it, "Stop! Don't do something stupid."

"I need to save him. It is my fault, I need to save him!"

"Huaisang!"

There's a bright red flash and it drowns out everything.

---

Miraculously, he survives.

His fledgling Golden Core has shattered and melted into nothing, but he has survived.

And he has done it.

"Does your stupidity known no bounds?" Da-ge demands as Lan Wangji kneels by er-ge's bed and feeds him potent spiritual energy.

Wei Wuxian is alive. His cognition is intact and his Golden Core is stable but he's soaked in Resentful Energy.

"You destroyed your Golden Core, Huaisang! There's no recovering from it!"

"Wouldn't you do the same?" He demands, turning around to look at his oldest brother. He ignores Lan Xichen's alarmed voice and focuses on Nie Mingjue, "Is his life worth less than my Golden Core?"

Da-ge locks his jaw but doesn't reply. Of course, Wei Wuxian's life is worth more than a Golden Core.

"Huaisang," Lan Xichen sighs, "a-Xian wouldn't have wanted this."

"Look at Wangji-xiong and tell me that again." He says bluntly. He is tired and drained but no one can convince him that reviving er-ge wasn't the right choice.

Xichen-ge doesn't reply because no one can look at the devastated expression on Lan Wangji's face and say it wasn't worth it.

Huaisang doesn't feel the absence of the core as keenly as someone else might. He had only developed it during the Sunshot Campaign, after all.

He isn't like er-ge or Wangji-xiong, with their powerful cores and potent spiritual energy. The loss would've been devastating to them but is only an afterthought to him.

---

They realize something is off when Wei Wuxian opens his eyes and looks at them with distant wariness instead of familiar affection. He looks around and is instantly on guard, "Where... Why am I here?"

He looks directly at Wangji-xiong, "Lan Zhan? What are you... Have you brought me here?" He demanded, his expression shifting to something hostile, "Are we in Gusu?"

"Wei-gongzi," Xichen-ge calls for his attention, "I know you're very confused but please don't be alarmed. We're in your home at the Unclean Realm, not in Gusu."

Er-ge narrows his eyes and Huaisang recognizes that expression, even though it has never been directed towards them. A look of cool calculation as er-ge tries to decipher their motives. "My home?" He asks.

Wangji-xiong knows er-ge almost as well as they do. He reaches forward, "Wei Ying, let us explain, please."

It appears that this Wei Wuxian is just as vulnerable to Wangji-xiong as his brother had been because he softens immediately. His body is still tense but he seems to be willing to listen.

"You died in this world, saving Huaisang's life." Da-ge begins gruffly. Huaisang winces at the bluntness but er-ge seems to appreciate it, his sharp gaze focusing on their elder brother, "Yes, this world," Da-ge confirms, "Our didi decided he wouldn't tolerate it and decided to use one of our forbidden rituals to revive you. He didn't read things clearly. The ritual dragged your soul from another world and placed you in his body."

Er-ge's expression is skeptical, "Our didi..."

Wangji-xiong sucks in a sharp breath, "Wei Ying," His brother's gaze moves to his 'best friend', "You are Wei Wuxian, 23 years old, the Head Disciple of QingheNie Sect, the adopted younger brother of Nie Mingjue and older brother to Nie Huaisang. You were adopted by the former Nie-zongzhu when you were six years old."

Er-ge stares at Wangji-xiong in stunned disbelief but there's no denial in his expression.

No wonder, Wangji-xiong never lies. That must be true in his world as well.

"a-Xian," Er-ge winces and looks at Xichen-ge, "You need to rest and recover. Your Golden Core is stab-"

Er-ge gasps and immediately sits up, placing his hand on his chest. He closes his eyes and almost violently summons his spiritual energy.

"Wei Ying!" Wangji-xiong calls out in alarm but his brother doesn't pay any attention, his focus entirely inward.

"I have my Golden Core back..." Er-ge breathes, astonished but his skin goes white and he loses consciousness.

They exchange stunned glances before scrambling forward to check on him.

---

No one can deny Wei Wuxian has changed. It takes a month for his body to recover but his heart is still unsteady. He puts on every appearance of being alright, but Huaisang has grown up with this man. He knows something is off.

It is only when er-ge decides he needs to start training again that things start to become clear. Er-ge has trained all of his life to fight with a Dao. His movements are powerful and aggressive, designed to overwhelm the enemy.

Er-ge's mind, however, is accustomed to the traditional Jian. He seems to expect his movements to be lighter, faster. More agile and less powerful.

The dissonance makes him clumsy and he loses his first fight against Lan Wangji in a long time.

"Wei Ying?" Wangji-xiong frowns, "Your movements."

Da-ge has his concerned scowl on and he grabs Baxia, stepping into the training field, "With me, Wuxian."

This fight is faster and more brutal. Huaisang almost wants to protest but he can see er-ge adjust and adapt quickly.

His eyes gain a razor-sharp focus and his battle instincts come to the fore. "Good," Xichen-ge observes, "He's accepting his body."

Indeed, he is. Against da-ge's overwhelming force, there's nothing er-ge can do but react instinctively. They engage in several bouts and keep at it for over a shichen.

By the end of it, er-ge is exhausted but faintly triumphant.

"Lan Zhan, again!"

"Wei Ying, you need rest." Wangji-xiong says with a shake of his head, "Don't strain yourself."

"Why were you fighting like you wanted to wield a Jian, didi?" Da-ge asks sternly, "You were hesitant and weak in some strikes."

Er-ge grimaces and Xichen-ge steps forward. It has been over a month and though er-ge has seen how much they all care for him, he remains wary.

"a-Xian," Xichen-ge begins gently, "You weren't a part of the Nie Clan in the past, were you?"

Da-ge's scowl deepens at the thought of er-ge belonging to anyone else but them. They had suspected something like this, of course. But they had hoped that er-ge would've still been a part of the Nie Sect if not the Clan.

Er-ge remains wary but sighs, "No."

"Not the Lans," Xichen-ge observes astutely, "Not the Jins either. Were you a rogue cultivator? Or from a smaller sect?"

Er-ge studies him before shaking his head, "I was the Head Disciple of the Jiangs."

"What?" Wangji-xiong asks, his voice uncharacteristically sharp, "Jiangs?"

Da-ge looks furious and Xichen-ge seems pained. No wonder, given how... problematic the Jiang situation is. That family is entirely unsuitable for someone as loving and giving as his er-ge!

Jiang Wanyin is a complex mix of pride and insecurity. He lags behind all sect heirs, though Huaisang is fairly certain their batch of cultivators is particularly skilled. Er-ge and Wangji-xiong are exceptional in every way and Jin Zixuan is barely a few steps behind.

In the face of such competition, skilled but ordinary cultivators can't help but be overshadowed.

Jiang Fengmian, according to da-ge, is a meek little imitation of his former self. The man that pursued er-ge's mother had been strong and wise. He had the skill, political acumen, and grace to be an admirable Sect Leader.

His marriage to Yu Ziyuan ruined him.

And Yu Ziyuan is a nightmare. The one time she met Wei Wuxian, she had left such an impression that da-ge had cut all ties with the Jiang Sect until its Madam apologized to the Nie Sect Head Disciple.

That hadn't gone down well and the relationship between them is still sour.

"Do you want to return to them?" He blurts out, unable to help himself. If Jiangs are this Wei Wuxian's family then maybe-

"No."

They still because that's a very firm no. It is a complete and utter rejection of the very thought of it.

"No."

---

Getting the whole story out of er-ge is like pulling teeth but between Wangji-xiong's pleas, Xichen-ge's gentle questions, da-ge impassioned demands, and his own begging, they manage.

This Wei Wuxian doesn't love them yet but he sees their love for him clearly. That softens his heart and they get to hear every painful, excruciating aspect of his past life.

Wangji-xiong looks furious, da-ge paces, Xichen-ge is pale, but all of that doesn't matter.

He recognizes the look on er-ge's face. He has never seen it on him before, but he recognizes it.

Er-ge expects them to reject him. To abandon him for his 'sins'.

"Well, I don't have a Golden Core. Can you teach me Demonic Cultivation?"

"Huaisang!" Is yelled from almost every direction but he only has eyes for his older brother.

He sees those tired silver eyes study him for a moment before they soften completely, turning into the color of liquid moonlight. "You brat," Er-ge murmurs affectionately, "The thought of you wielding that power is nothing short of terrifying."

"But er-ge! Can you leave me defenseless, just like that? Don't you feel sorry for me-"

"Huaisang!" Da-ge snaps, "Stop trying to manipulate your brother!"

"Really, a-Sang, it isn't right for you to-"

Er-ge laughs. It's familiar, loud, and openly joyous. Silver eyes sparkle as he looks at them, "Don't worry, da-ge, he's a hundred years too early to manipulate me."

Wangji-xiong huffs, "Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan," Er-ge teases, "How is that you manage to reprimand me by only saying my name? Shall I try it too? Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan!"

"And they're flirting again." He murmurs under his breath, drawing an amused look from Xichen-ge.

"Perhaps we really need to start betrothal negotiations," Xichen-ge says and da-ge scoffs.

"Not going to happen unless you're willing to part with your brother. Mine is my heir. He's not marrying into the Lans."

"Da-ge, be reasonable-"

Huaisang tunes them out and waves his fan in front of his face, his mind whirling.

He doesn't care about er-ge's marriage negotiations. He has bigger fish to fry.

Really, those Jins and Jiangs are getting too bold.

#short prompts #nie!wwx #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #lan wangji #lan xichen #nie mingjue #anti jiang cheng #anti jiang sect

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elpiething · 2 years

Text

I tried the bird for five minutes and I’m very, very bad at it. I tried to understand threadfic and I’m pretty sure I just...broke something. So hey, who wants some Wangxian bullshit?

Car Wars : Wangxian Parking Space AU

In which Lan Xichen has an Upstairs Nemesis in single dad Wei Ying, and his life is Wangji's soap opera and then matchmaking service, in that order.

Modern AU, Petty Xichen, single dads. CW: References to 🍆 . And a special heads up to that one troll that gravitates between misogyny and an unnerving, bordering on homicidal hatred of kids. One of those is mentioned.

Xichen has always been a very calm person. If anyone in this apartment were to be accused of irritability, it would probably be Mingjue.

Xichen has always been the rock. The gentle breeze. The whispering wellspring of soulful kindness.

So Wangji is surprised to sign into their weekly video chat and find Mingjue sitting alone, drinking from the World's Best Booty mug Huaisang convinced Xichen to buy him, watching his boyfriend pace off camera.

"Hey, Wangji." Mingjue rumbles, staying suspiciously still as he side-eyes the love of his life. "Xichen is having a moment."

"That monster!" Xichen cries. "That miscreant!"

Which is a worrying sentiment coming from Xichen, who names the spiders he carries outside.

"Mingjue, swear for me!"

Mingjue looks directly into the camera.

"Shit."

"Worse!"

"Babe, did you do your breathing?"

"Mingjue, I am not being unreasonable. He KNOWS what he's doing."

"In for a count of eight..."

"He is being terrible on purpose. He means to goad me."

"And he's succeeding."

Wangji frowns. "Mingjue, that is unhelpful."

Mingjue sighs. "He came home from yoga at 6:30 and lost his shit at me because the neighbor—"

"He is not my neighbor. He is my nemesis."

Mingjue:

"Xiongzhang," Wangji says, delicately. "You seem unwell."

And then Xichen is leaning into the frame, wild-eyed and flushed. "Wangji, I love you. Get bent."

Wangji: o - o

"The upstairs 'nemesis' stole his parking space." Mingjue explains.

Xichen squints at him. "You're mocking me."

"I would never."

"But you are."

"I love you too much."

"Mingjue, I suck your dick. I know when you're lying."

"Babe, I'm mirroring. If I sound batshit..."

"I am not batshit. He is batshit. He moved his car as soon as I left. Why would he be up at 5 AM, if not to lie in wait?"

"Well, he has a three-year-old."

"...what?"

"The upstairs nemesis has a three-year-old. A-Yuan."

"How do you know this when I do not know this?"

"He came to the door. Kid held up his fingers and did the 'I'm this many' thing. It was cute."

"When?"

"When they moved in. He gave me his WeChat, a lollipop, and some earplugs. Said A-Yuan's been having some big feelings about the move, text if any crying gets disruptive."

"You mentioned literally none of this."

Mingjue smiles, indulgent. "Is this how you want to spend your regularly scheduled sibling bonding?"

And Xichen Frowns until Mingjue surrenders the chair and leaves the room.

All is forgotten until Xichen and Mingjue leave town for a conference or vacation and Wangji comes over after his morning run to feed their hypoallergenic cat.

And finds someone pulling into his brother's usual parking space.

Usually, he would just keep walking.

But the man who steps out, dressed in a cartoonishly oversized sweatshirt with several colorful stains and a penis drawn on it in sharpie, is

- very attractive - grinning like a crazy person.

"So, you are doing this on purpose." Wangji says, he feels, very diplomatically.

And the sweatshirt bandit jumps at the sound of his voice and spins to face him, mouth open and ready to retort.

Pauses as he looks Wangji over.

Frowns.

"You're not Coexist guy."

"'Coexist guy'?"

"He's got a Coexist bumper sticker and also some kind of emotional issues that I, as a layperson, am not paid or qualified to diagnose. Which I feel should make him think twice about having a Coexist bumper sticker. Because we're at war."

There is a loaded pause.

"His husband's pretty cool, though."

Another pause, with more eyeballing.

"You look like him, in that you're hot, but hopefully not crazy?" His speech ticks up at the end, like he's waiting for Wangji to confirm or deny whether pettiness is genetic.

"He is my older brother."

"Oh..."

"He is usually a very level-headed person. He works as a wellness coach."

"Right."

"And now he is in a war of attrition over a parking space with the upstairs nemesis."

"Wei Wuxian."

"He will be delighted to know."

"You probably hate me."

"I think Mingjue was correct in that both of you are batshit."

"Mingjue was—"

"His boyfriend. They aren't married yet."

"Oh no, dude. He should lock that down. That man was so nice."

"I will tell him." Wangji nods, and catches himself smiling just a little.

Wei Wuxian sighs. "You probably think the biggest shithead. Some kinda parking space assassin."

"Honestly? You don't seem well."

"I'm a single dad with a full-time job and a three-year-old who hates this apartment, and his shoes, and fishie crackers—which were his favorite when I stocked up on them last week."

"So you've been having a difficult time."

"I am at war with your brother, who probably does like three different kinds of yoga and wears linen unironically, over a parking space. I am in crisis."

"...A-Yuan, correct?" Wei Wuxian blinks at him. "Your son. Mingjue mentioned him."

He watches Wuxian soften a little.

"Yeah." The man sighs. "He's the best."

When he's not losing his shit over fishie crackers.

Wangji nods. "Let me feed Baxia, and I will take you both out for pancakes."

Wei Wuxian blinks at him again. "I would like to get to know my brother's esteemed nemesis."

A few weeks later, Xichen runs into Wei Wuxian in the mail room, toddler balanced on his hip.

He takes a deep breath and says, "I've been petty. You have a three-year-old and I can walk a few feet farther each morning."

He feels satisfied as the other man brightens, bouncing the child who is exactly as cute as Mingjue claimed.

"I appreciate your sincerity, gege, but you don't have to worry so much. You're probably really sore after class."

Xichen sighs, just a little bit fond.

Wuxian grins, and Xichen is too busy admiring A-Yuan's precious baby giggling to notice the hint of evil in it.

"But then again, so am I these days. I've been parking at your brother's place."

[Image Description - A text message exchange between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji:

Whatever Wuxian prefers.

I will look forward to it.

Please remember to drink water.

Wei Wuxian:

Alas, A-Zhan, I confessed under pain of torture.

Really you can’t blame me.

I tried to resist.

Lan Wangji:

My brother sent me this.

(An image of cheerios in a spoon, settled into a frowny face.)

‘Dead to me.’

I have scheduled a family dinner for Thursday.

Please do not wear the penis shirt. ]

#wangxian #modern au #mdzs #the untamed #my fic #fic log

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darkandstormyart · 4 years

Text

Xicheng fic recs

(figured i might make a list of my own)

(to be expanded as i dig out more treasure/remember stuff)

in no particular order:

Deep as the Yearning Night by FreckledStarKnight

“At first, it was pure chance. The second time was accidental. And the third time? Well, they say the third time’s the charm, after all. Lan Xichen discovers that Jiang Wanyin sings beautifully and is immediately enamored by it. His pursuit of Jiang Wanyin’s secret talent leads to a discovery and a series of events that he did not anticipate at all. Not that he’s complaining, of course. He got what he came for and more. Or, how two sect leaders get together through the song called love. CQL-verse.“

post-seclusion lxc

trying to get jc to sing

bonus lxc & jin ling feels i hadn’t considered before

cute

Always use protection by hesselives

“In which Lan Wangji attempts to hire a new bodyguard for his older brother, a well-known traveling exorcist. Jiang Wanyin doesn’t even make his carefully considered list of Top Ten Candidates, and yet here he is.

Lots of wandering in the countryside, distant yelling, and mildly inconvenient spirits.”

bodyguard au

honestly just really intersting worldbuilding

Rewrite the stars by Arashii

“Five great kingdoms have been fighting for years and when the kingdom of Yunmeng is destroyed, the Crown Prince Jiang Cheng vanishes.In Gusu, Lan Xichen makes an offer impossible for Jiang Cheng to refuse. His life or revenge? There’s only one option and Jiang Cheng swears loyalty to the man he hated the most his whole life, the Crown Prince of Gusu, Lan Xichen himself.Written for XiChengFest2020 - Day 4“

ROYALTY AU ROYALTY AU

enemies to lovers!

flashbacks! i love flashbacks so much ohmygod

No paths are bound by Arashii

“In seclusion, Lan Huan has the support of a ghost no one has seen since the massacre of Yunmeng Jiang. His feelings start changing with the often visits and conversations they share. Before Lan Huan can confess though, he ascends, leaving everything and everyone behind him.

Two hundred years later, back to the Human Realm and without powers, the Martial God Zewu-Jun has a mission to uphold. His Heavenly Calamity started. The clues are little and the support comes in the most unexpected form, the current Ghost King: Sandu Shengshou. Now they need to stick together to contain a menace that is slowly growing.“

TGCF AU TGCF AU

ghost king jiang cheng come on

doesn’t follow tgcf plot, just the setup so no spoilers

jiang cheng gets the dogs and the xichen he deserves

once upon a dream by cafedeolla

“Xicheng soulmate AU

An au where your dreams are small snippets of your soulmate’s day. They’d show small things like buying coffee, reading a book, or hanging out with people from their perspective.

The problem was that people always have expectations and Jiang Cheng knows he always falls short of them. Time and time again.“

soulmate au, but being soulmates is more a problem than a solution

misunderstandingssss all over the place

now with a squel (in progress?)

Lan Furen series by jagaimocchi

“Jiang Cheng leaves Lotus Pier before the Wen Internment Camp and before the destruction of his home. When he meets Lan Xichen on the run from the Wens after the burning of Cloud Recesses, his plan to live a peaceful life away from cultivation sects is quickly derailed. Now, free to make his own choices, he cannot find it in himself to leave the other man's side.

With love, patience and time, Jiang Cheng finds his own happiness and peace with his past.“

have you ever wanted a fic where jiang cheng peaces out from home in search for a better life, bc he’s Had Enough??? jags got you covered

adorable xicheng

good uncle-dad-figure Lan Qiren

ongoing <3

Just around the riverbend by JungleJelly

“One day.

Jiang Cheng just wanted one day of peace and quiet, away from home, away from his responsibilities, away from his idiot brother and his nutcases of a mother and father. Just a few hours alone — him and a boat and nothing else.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.”

now with a new story in the series which is adorable too!!!

mermaid!lxc need i say more?

Bad ideas (where they lead) by JungleJelly

“Jiang Cheng is a busy man. Fortunately, he is also a huge pushover when it comes to his sister, so when she recommends that he start doing yoga, he agrees pretty easily.Featuring Lan Xichen in yoga pants, Jiang Cheng’s inability to handle a crush, and, perhaps most importantly, a big fluffy dog.“

done for 2020 MXTX MiniBang

yoga instructor Lan Xichen

Jiang Cheng is: struggling with a crush on the yoga guy from youtube & very angry about that

If there’s a price for rotten judgement by TheWanderingHeart

“All Jiang Cheng wants to do is, well... his job, really. Other than that? Keep the city safe, keep his nephew alive, keep his sanity intact (if possible).

So when his brother calls with unexpected news, he knows all of that is about to fly out of the window.

***

[Every instinct is telling him don’t ask, you don’t want to know. By this point, Nie HuaiSang has scooted closer to listen. Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath and pulls out his antacids. “What did you do?”]”

superhero au, come on

jc just trying to do his job in peace

(he can’t)

i love it so much oh my god *sobs*

The Form of Boneless Ice by TheWanderingHeart

“Mythical beasts have long ago been driven to extinction by the gentry — hunted for sport, but more importantly for their magical cores. Since then, there remains only one creature that has never been caught. The Jiang’s retreated a long time ago. Abandoning land altogether, they sought safety where the humans could not reach.It all comes to a head though, purely by chance. (Or is it by fate that a spontaneous decision allows for them to meet? If fate were a rock!) Jiang Cheng suddenly finds his whole life balanced on the head of a pin — on the flimsy promise of a human boy. In his opinion, things cannot possibly get worse!(But then they do when the Wens decide it’s finally time to search for the elusive merpeople, and suddenly nowhere is safe.)“

there she goes again, with another beautiful xicheng story full of awwww and mythology

actually one of the first xicheng fics i read

i chose it because there were mermaids

painfully accurate takes on Jiang family dynamics

kids! lots of kids!

Let me Slytherin to Your Heart by TheWanderingHeart

“Jiang Cheng never thought he'd return to Hogwarts, but in hindsight, he probably should have known that someday he would.With his nephew about to start school, he reluctantly takes his good friend's bad parenting? career? advice and ends up tumbling head-first back into the madness that he hoped he'd left behind... and rediscovering some feelings he thought he'd left behind too.“

Harry Potter au!

just really fecking cute

lots of snakes

[I am not going to link all of Jo’s fics, though I probably could, just my 3 favourites. UOSB is there by default]

Talent Hunt Crew Finds Angry Guy Shouting On College Campus, Recruits Him For Vocal Projection Abilities by oh_fudgecakes

“Jiang Cheng, resident Angry Guy and heir to a conglomerate empire, has never been the apple of his father’s eye. Quashed under the shadow of his brilliant brother, the music prodigy Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng sees his chance to turn things around when he is recruited by the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt. One problem: he can’t sing to save his goddamn life.As he struggles to develop his nascent singing abilities, Jiang Cheng finds himself sucked into the whirlwind drama of reality TV, helped along by his adoring siblings, his irritable vocal coach Wen Qing, and strangely enough, the unfairly attractive host of the All-Stars Lan Talent Hunt, Lan Xichen. Somewhere in the glare of the stage lights and an unexpected first love, Jiang Cheng stumbles upon the thing he was searching for all along: the courage to dream — and to attempt the impossible.“

done for 2019 MXTX Big Bang

uuuuuuuuuuh i might have cried maybe

heartwarming? painful at times? lots of family love?

slowburn xicheng being lovely

The Provenence of Hope series by velithya

“A chance meeting on a night hunt sets a course of events into motion that will change everything. Featuring Xicheng getting together, recovery for Lan Xichen, healing for Jiang Cheng, and always, always, hope.“

got everything. feels. hope. love. ~~healing~~

A Small Measure of Peace by Sandstone112

“With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.“

a loooot of adorable family times with jc and lxc taking care of their nephews

good grandpa lqr!

canon but fixed and less painful

🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋if you wish to avoid scurvy:🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋

Some day I’m gonna make you mine series by locketofyourhair

xicheng getting together through the years

friends with benefits but the real benefits are the friends we made along the way

Take me over (take me tonight) by velithya

jiang cheng has a tattoo and lan xichen doesn’t stand a chance

i'd be the sweet feeling of release (mankind now dreams of) by piyo13

two bros, chilling in a cave, no feet apart because they don’t want to lose their cultivation powers what are you gonna do

haven’t read yet and shame on me, but AM GONNA:

Upon Our Silver Bridge by TheWanderingHeart obviously

““When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.” ― Hakim Sanai

Lan Xichen's sorrows have caught the attention of something. Unlike the adventures and foes they have faced before, there is no obvious enemy here to defeat. If this is the same thing they thought had taken Nie Mingjue's life, then he believes it is fated for him to die as well. Nothing can stop the black fire when it wants to burn.Jiang Cheng is sure his part in this is over. Wei Wuxian is back, his grand adventure concluded, and he'd never been at the centre of it anyway. So what does it matter what happens to him in the end? Slowly, he will come to realise that there will always be a battle to fight, a story to tell, a choice to make, and there is no such thing as an end to anything.“

it was difficult to do things in 2020 and few i regret not doing more than not reading uosb yet :’(

i will tho

Emergency Help Wanted by piyo13

“EMERGENCY HELP WANTED I lied when I got my job. I told them I had a kid so I could leave early from work to pick him up from daycare, take him to doctor's appointments, and occasionally miss a day when he's sick. Long story short, I'm in too deep. I didn't think it through. Looking to rent a kid for bring your child to work day. Must be a boy ages four to six, longish dark hair, likes soccer. Must also be artistic as the macaroni noodle paintings I made seem a little advanced for his age. Also, I will pay extra for someone willing to play the role of husband when dropping him off. He's a prosecuting attorney who often brings his work home. Message me for further details. Serious inquiries only.“

Running Our Hands Through Embers by MarvelousMar

“If asked, Jiang Cheng would compare falling in love with Lan Xichen to a moth inevitably drawn to a flame.It burned.***In which Jiang Cheng discovers that even death can't help him escape from his trauma, so he embarks on a quest to save the people he loves, fix what he can, make the love of his life fall for him, and maybe, somewhere along the way, do a little bit of healing.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Moving On by InvincibleMel

gone from ao3, but i think there’s a link with a pdf going around

#xicheng #fic rec #Jiang Cheng #lan xichen #mdzs #the untamed #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi

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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

Text

Glance

Jiang Cheng is this close to punching Wen Chao in the face. The only thing that keeps him from doing so is the fact that his mother will have his hide if he does it, and so he grinds his teeth together and steps yet again out of Wen Chao’s immediate reach.

Wen Chao has put his hands on Jiang Cheng more times than he really cares to count and not even Jiang Cheng’s hissed “I have a goddamn boyfriend” seems to deter him in his advances at all.

He leers at Jiang Cheng and devours him with his gaze when he can’t get his hands on him and Jiang Cheng’s skin crawls with it.

“I bet you’re lying about your boyfriend,” Wen Chao even says at one point and Jiang Cheng has to do his hardest not to snap the fingers that are yet again itching towards his waist.

He is lying about the boyfriend—not that he would ever tell Wen Chao that—but he has kept that rouse up for long enough that it’s mostly believable.

His mother tried to arrange dates for him for a long, horrible while before Jiang Cheng snapped at her that he was already seeing someone and didn’t need her help.

She insisted on meeting the mystery boyfriend, but so far Jiang Cheng was able to dodge any too personal questions about it, citing he still needed more time before he introduced him into the whirlwind of their family.

That, sadly enough, seemed to garner a lot of understanding from all sides.

“I am not,” Jiang Cheng presses out now, and slaps Wen Chao’s hand away before he pushes him away for good measure, too.

Wen Chao has never heard of personal space it seems and with every step that he takes closer to Jiang Cheng he feels more cornered, feels more panic well up in him.

Jiang Cheng let’s his gaze roam the room, desperately trying to find someone who would be willing to help him, but his siblings are nowhere to be found and even Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu are gone from his sight.

He doesn’t even have think about trying to get help from his parents, because they would just tell him to suck it up and not be this dramatic but if he’s being honest, Jiang Cheng is this close to either breaking down or exploding in Wen Chao’s face and he doesn’t know which would be worse.

When his gaze catches the eyes of another person Jiang Cheng doesn’t even take the time to properly recognize him; instead he immediately starts to convey his dilemma through his eyes, hoping that the guy will have enough compassion to come and save him.

Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops when the guy looks away without moving and he’s hurt enough by that blatant dismissal that he allows Wen Chao’s hand to creep up on his waist again.

“See, it’s not so bad,” Wen Chao croons in his ear and Jiang Cheng wonders if throwing up on him would get the point across.

But instead of doing that he simply slaps his hand away yet again, much to Wen Chao’s apparent delight.

“Don’t touch me,” Jiang Cheng snarls at him but Wen Chao only laughs in his face.

“I love the feisty ones,” he tells Jiang Cheng as if he’s imparting some great secret and it makes Jiang Cheng sick to his stomach.

He can see how Wen Chao’s hand is itching to come forward again and Jiang Cheng braces himself for it, when suddenly another hand comes to rest on his waist.

“I’m sorry I’m late, my heart,” a voice says and then a kiss is being pressed onto the top of his head. “Who is this?” the guy asks and Jiang Cheng sags in relieve.

“Nie Mingjue!” Wen Chao says in surprise and Jiang Cheng blinks before he glances at the guy from the corner of his eyes.

It really is Nie Mingjue and now Jiang Cheng finally connects the dots. He was the guy he made eye contact with earlier and it seems like Nie Mingjue did decide to come to his rescue.

“It’s alright,” Jiang Cheng says with a small shake of his head, and then he steps closer to Nie Mingjue.

His hand on Jiang Cheng’s waist is warm and heavy, and he should hate it, with how often Wen Chao just had his hand there, but all Jiang Cheng can think is that Nie Mingjue’s hand feels grounding and like safety and unlike Wen Chao Nie Mingjue doesn’t use it to jerk him around.

It’s just there; a steady, heavy presence, allowing Jiang Cheng to move like he wants.

And he definitely wants to move closer to Nie Mingjue. It only barely has to do with the fact that he wants to move away from Wen Chao, too. Jiang Cheng takes the step that brings him squarely into Nie Mingjue’s personal space, hoping he’s not overstepping, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t stop him at all. Instead he makes space for him readily.

“Nie Mingjue is your boyfriend?” Wen Chao asks in disbelieve and Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops when he realizes just what he pulled Nie Mingjue into.

Jiang Cheng knows Nie Mingjue—of course he does, Nie Huaisang is his best friend—and pretending that they are boyfriends will get really messy really quickly.

“I would say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but that wouldn’t be true,” Nie Mingjue says, with his no-nonsense manner and Jiang Cheng snorts out a laugh.

“You—” Wen Chao starts but Nie Mingjue doesn’t let him speak.

“Maybe you should go hide at your daddy’s side, before I remember the way you practically groped by boyfriend against his will,” Nie Mingjue calmly advises him, but there’s a sharp edge to his voice and Wen Chao has enough survival instinct to blanche.

“How dare you! You will regret this,” Wen Chao tries to tell them, but now it’s Jiang Cheng’s turn to laugh.

“We will see about that,” he says because he doesn’t think Wen Ruohan cares enough about his son’s hurt pride to pick a fight with the Nie’s and the Jiang’s.

Going by how quickly Wen Chao shuts up, he seems to know it as well.

“Get lost now,” Nie Mingjue advises him and Jiang Cheng presses his lips together to not burst out laughing.

He doubts anyone has ever spoken to Wen Chao like this and he thoroughly enjoys how he goes red in the face.

In the end he slinks away without another word though, and Jiang Cheng lets out a sigh of relieve.

“Thank you,” he says to Nie Mingjue when Wen Chao is out of earshot and he feels more than he sees how Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“You seemed desperate,” he gives back and then takes his hand away from Jiang Cheng’s waist.

Jiang Cheng wants it back immediately.

“I hope I didn’t overstep,” Nie Mingjue says with a wince, hiding his hand behind his back but Jiang Cheng is quick to shake his head.

“No, not at all,” he reassures Nie Mingjue and then bites his tongue when his traitorous mouth wants to add “I wish you’d do it again”.

Nie Mingjue doesn’t need to know about that.

“You told him you have a boyfriend?” Nie Mingjue asks then. “Isn’t he here? I hope he won’t be mad.”

Jiang Cheng looks around before he steps closer to Nie Mingjue again and he can’t help the grimace on his face.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” he tells him quietly when he’s close enough that they can’t be overheard. “I said that to stop my mother from setting up dates for me and then it somehow just stuck around. But Wen Chao will tell everyone that you’re my boyfriend now, and I’m sorry about that.”

Jiang Cheng will have to come up with a reason for a break-up and then he’ll have to endure his mother’s dates and it will be hell for a while, but it’s better than dragging Nie Mingjue into this whole mess with him.

“I’m not,” Nie Mingjue says and it takes Jiang Cheng a moment to understand what he’s saying.

“What?” he croaks out because Nie Mingjue cannot possibly mean that.

He knows Jiang Cheng; he knows what kind of mess he is and there is no way in hell that Nie Mingjue wouldn’t mind being associated with him like that.

“I’m just saying that I’m not against giving this a try,” Nie Mingjue says with a shrug and a light blush on his cheeks and Jiang Cheng quickly pinches his own arm to test if this is a dream.

“You do know who I am, right?” Jiang Cheng asks him, because he very vividly remembers the numerous breakdowns he had in the Nie house over the course of the years; the yelling, raging ones but also the ones that left him as a sobbing mess on their couch.

Nie Mingjue cannot possibly want to have that in his life any more than he already has, thanks to Jiang Cheng’s friendship with Nie Huaisang.

“Of course I know who you are,” Nie Mingjue gives back and he sounds honestly affronted. “And I’ve been paying more attention than you seem to think,” he then adds on and Jiang Cheng jerks with his words, before his memory decides to kick in again.

There’s always that very soft blanket on the couch that Jiang Cheng adores so much, and his favourite drink is always in the fridge just as his favourite snacks are always in the cupboard and Jiang Cheng thought it was all Nie Huaisang’s doing but maybe he was wrong about that.

“I—” Jiang Cheng starts but then he simply doesn’t know how to end that sentence so instead he settles on “You’d have to meet my parents.”

“Okay,” Nie Mingjue easily agrees and Jiang Cheng balks at that.

“No one wants to meet my parents.”

“I can’t say that I want to meet them,” Nie Mingjue says with a shrug. “But I want to date you, so of course I’m going to meet them.”

“You want to date me,” Jiang Cheng repeats weakly, even as his heart beats faster in his chest.

He never allowed himself to give too much thought about these stupid feelings inside of him whenever he thinks of Nie Mingjue, but maybe he’s allowed to now.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue says with a decisive nod. “If that is something you want to as well. Otherwise we’ll fake a break-up of course,” he says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“Of course I want to date you,” Jiang Cheng hisses out and is not at all prepared for the way Nie Mingjue smiles at him.

Jiang Cheng momentarily forgot about the dimples he has, and it hits him like a brick to the chest.

Fuck, Nie Mingjue is gorgeous.

“That’s decided then,” Nie Mingjue says very smugly and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to deal with that at all.

“Stop that,” he hisses at Nie Mingjue who only smiles at him more.

“Why should I?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng goes red in the face.

“Because it’s embarrassing,” he tells him, but Nie Mingjue only shrugs.

“I don’t think so, and I don’t care. You’ll just have to deal with that.”

Jiang Cheng opens and closes his mouth a few times—much to Nie Mingjue’s apparent amusement—before he settles his face into a scowl again.

“That thing you called me, when you came to save me,” he finally whispers, going red with just the memory of it.

“My heart?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and Jiang Cheng nods, not finding his voice. “You want me to stop that?” Nie Mingjue asks him and Jiang Cheng can’t believe he’s going to have to say it but Nie Mingjue’s expectant look doesn’t give him another choice.

“I want you to do it again,” Jiang Cheng presses out and at least Nie Mingjue doesn’t laugh at him or mock him otherwise.

“Of course, my heart,” Nie Mingjue readily says and leans in to press another kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head as well, for good measure it seems.

Jiang Cheng feels a little bit like dying and a lot like this could be the best thing in his entire life.

“Now how do you feel about ditching this boring thing with me and going on a real date?” Nie Mingjue asks him, his hand hovering over Jiang Cheng’s waist in clear invitation and for this Jiang Cheng doesn’t hesitate at all.

He has been missing the warmth of that hand, the security of it, ever since Nie Mingjue first took it away and so Jiang Cheng steps close enough for the hand to make contact again.

“I feel good about that,” Jiang Cheng admits and is rewarded for that with another kiss to his head. “Is that going to be a thing?” he wants to know, unwilling to show just how pleased he is by that little action.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue decides. “You have the perfect height for it and I love doing it.”

He seems entirely shameless about it too, and Jiang Cheng’s entire being goes hot at his words.

“Fine,” he presses out as if it’s the worst thing he ever had to endure but Nie Mingjue seems to understand him just fine because he smiles at him.

“Let’s go on that date then, my heart,” Nie Mingjue says and gently steers Jiang Cheng forward, only using the hand on his waist to do it.

It feels possessive, in a protective kind of way, and Jiang Cheng walks slower than he normally does, just to feel the slight pressure of it.

He’s going to get addicted to this feeling—and the kisses, and the endearment and Nie Mingjue in general—Jiang Cheng just knows it, but he can’t find it in him to mind that.

Jiang Cheng is looking forward to it, really.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingcheng #jiang cheng #nie mingjue #modern au #getting together #wen chao is a creep #nmj is not having it #fluff

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guqin-and-flute · 3 years

Text

[I am once again giving you an unrelated fanfic. Have some Modern married Xiyao.

Potential CW: poor anger coping skills?, very brief mention of suicidal ideation in internal dialogue. It's an errant thought and he doesn't actually mean it]

Jin Guangyao is upset. What's more upsetting is that he doesn't know why he's upset--this lack of information rankles him more than the feeling. He's used to feeling badly. That's how life is. But without a name, there is nowhere to file it away neatly. It is easier to ignore the sharp sting of a newly noticed cut than this fucking awful malaise that has apparently decided to settle over him with no rhyme or reason like he's some stupid idiot in an artsy French film, slowly choking down filtered cigarettes on some rusty balcony against a sunset or something.

That's not what he does. He is efficient. He is useful. And when he is like this, he is not.

And he still doesn't know why. And the fact that he cannot categorize and escape this has the ennui sliding slowly into a slow boil of tooth grinding fury.

Had it been the morning traffic? The fact that the library had emailed to inform him of a delay on his inter-library loan? The fact that his overpriced coffee was just a tiny bit burnt? The fact that Zixuan had taken a sick day today and so had not brought the soup his wife had promised Jin Guangyao for lunch? It shouldn't be, because these are all so horrifyingly trivial.

He has a tension headache beginning to string itself along his temples. He hates that the receptionist has a perky goodbye ready. He hates that the sun is shining so brightly. Then, he hates that the shadows of the clouds when they pass make things look grungy and dull. He hates that there is a flap of leather from his steering wheel that has peeled up in the back from his picking and he can feel it rubbing against his index finger as he stares, white knuckled and unblinking into the brake lights ahead of him as this bubbling pique crescendos as slowly as one of Xichen's beloved classical music pieces.

In fact, one is playing on the radio, softly, just within hearing range. The quiet, shrill edge of violins makes him want to kill something. Maybe himself. There's a bridge coming up in half a mile. He, very sanely, presses the button on the dash that turns it off instead of doing any of those things. The thought of Xichen has a voice of reason suggesting that he might meditate, while trapped here, 10 minutes from home.

Instead, he jabs a button on his fancy, stupid steering wheel with this thumb. An attentive computer noise beeps. The sudden noise in the relative silence of the car makes him dig his nails into the leather. "Text A-Huan," he snaps.

"Okay! What would you like the message to be?"

Jin Guangyao is going to find whoever programmed this faux-friendly robot voice and make them watch him drown their entire family in a toilet. "I. Hate. Everything."

Beep. "Okay! Your message reads; 'I hate everything'. Send?"

"Yes, send," he seethes before it can fully finish.

There is no plan to this. None at all. He just needs something real to sink his metaphorical teeth into. A reasonable anchor to reality to tell him whether or not he's being stupid and terrible for no reason at all.

Even though he already knows that he is.

The response returns in 43 seconds. Jin Guangyao had been counting. The cheery beep sounds just as the very stale green light turns yellow ahead. He presses the gas. "One message from A-Huan."

The light blinks red while he is only 1/4th of the way through the intersection. The lead car of the adjacent left turners beeps and he bares his teeth at her because he isn't fucking invisible, he's in a high profile gold Lexus and she had definitely seen him fucking coming. He stabs the button that makes the car read him the message.

"'Oh no. Bad day? Want to call? Blue heart emoji'," the female robot voice chirps in a butchery of his husbands words and no, no, he does not, because, at this point, it would simply be a minute long sustained scream of rage over literally nothing at all. He should have kept it to himself and found a quiet place to throw rocks at a wall or something until he wasn't such a repellant time bomb.

He does not reply because if he hears that robot voice again, he's going to commit vehicular homicide. And being arrested would not calm him down.

Finally, traffic parts and he pulls into his driveway--he notices how the bush on the side of the house's branches are creeping up to scrape the window of the kitchen and makes a mental note to send a curt text to the landscaper about his pruning habits. Why are they paying him several hundred dollars a month to let a stupid bush get unruly enough to damage the paint on his window trim?

When he slams his door shut, he hears a loud CLACK that announces that he has just closed his seatbelt in the door and lost the last tenuous thread of his temper. Heaving the door back, he plants his other hand up on the black plastic next to the window and smashes it shut again with all of his strength. Repeatedly. CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK--Chunk.

Breath hissing between his teeth, he jerks his suit jacket straight, loosens his tie and stalks to the house. The garage door groans to life behind him. Xichen had been watching.

Perfect.

He's nowhere to be seen when Jin Guangyao slams through the backdoor like a vicious thundercloud, which is good and probably intentional, because it allows him to wrestle off his shoes, jacket, and tie in privacy. This does nothing to release any pressure, because it must be intentional wrestling--controlled and confined so he doesn't pop off a button or rip a seam or scuff the shining black leather. Now he's seething in their immaculate, state of the art kitchen, hating how the cold tile feels against his black dress socks and the fact that it smells like tea. Which is stupid. Because he likes tea. But not right now.

Stop being a piece of shit, he snarls at himself. You've already probably fucked up the car and Xichen doesn't deserve this. He balls up his fists so tightly that the bright pain from his nails sinking into his palms leaks up his arms. Be better.

He has no idea how to do that because he has no idea what is wrong.

Reason says to steer clear of Xichen until he can get a hold of himself and behave like a fucking adult. And in the early days of their relationship, he would have. He had. Whenever he got like this, he would shut down or not have inflicted himself on Xichen at all with a smooth lie, and no amount of prying would get anything useful out of him because he would not be a bother. There had been Talks. Long, extensive Talks about trust and love and wanting to take care of him. He had even believed some of them. That's how they can be married, now, years later--Xichen knowing just how close he is to this at all times. How thin his veneer of manners and pleasantries actually is. (He can't truly know, though, can he. If he knew how much none of it makes sense, there is no possible way someone as kind and intelligent as him would choose to stay.)

Xichen would purse his lips if he said this out loud; somewhere between exasperation and sad fondness. Jin Guangyao doesn't tell him, anymore. Most of the time because he doesn't actually think this.

This is not most of the time.

Yes, reason says that he should suck it up and become a human being before burdening Xichen.

But his husband has long, cool hands and soft eyes and a brilliant mind that can solve any problem just by holding it and maybe he just wants to be small and angry and ugly and pathetic and selfish in the comfort of his own home while someone reminds him that there have been, in fact, good things that have happened in his life and he had been, at one time, happy--believe it or not.

And if nothing else, it compounds his streak of bad decisions.

The smell of tea intensifies when he reaches their room. The curtains are drawn. It renders the deep, dusty blues of the bed spread and the armchair black and the aged gold accent pieces muted, except for where the warm light pouring from their open bathroom door paints them bright again. Xichen sits on the edge of their bed in the soft, expensive loungewear Jin Guangyao got him for his birthday last year, one ankle on his knee, watching him with eyes just as soft as he had been expecting. A mug of tea is tucked into his hand and a plate with round, lumpy shapes sits by his hip. Beside that lays spread out the absurdly oversized and absurdly soft heather gray shirt that Nie Huaisang had gifted to him as a joke but was, in fact, one of Jin Guangyao's guilty pleasure sleep shirts.

With his perfect voice and his perfect logic and his perfect way of being the only good thing on this entire, worthless planet, his husband says, "I think you need to scream into this pillow."

'This pillow' is, in fact, one of theirs, dark blue with a thread count that was higher than any savings he ever had in college, perched on a bundle of blankets that is the perfect size to throw himself upon like a sulking romance heroine. He hates it. Hates that this is known, that this might help.

So he fucking does it. He deliberately stalks around the bed, climbs up, smashes his face into the pillow and screams as loudly as he can. With every single ounce of rage in his body, curling him up like the shriveling of a raisin in fast forward, like the curling of a scorpion tail, like throwing up, wringing every last scant molecule of oxygen out of his lungs.

When the sound peters out and he has to drag in another breath, he curls tighter, the claws of his hands reaching over the top of the pillow to fist in his hair. It presses the plush of it firmer over his face and bites it until his teeth ring with dull pain, and his jaw aches and his head throbs and his eyes sting. His scalp burns from the pull on his hair and his throat is raw and tight.

Tearing himself away, finally, he gasps in a gulp of cooler air. Xichen has turned so he is now cross-legged at the foot of the bed, watching him with a mix of calm and understanding sympathy. "Lay down?"

There is a ragged, hollow hole in him that still has scraps of rage clinging to it like disgusting lichen--but the visceral, all consuming hate seems to have been absorbed by his pillow. So he lets himself roll sideways, eyes closing. Xichen gets off the bed--Jin Guangyao assumes, wearily, that he's putting down the tea mug and hopes that he uses a coaster--and then returns by knee walking up the bed to his side. Then, those cool hands he had been hoping for pick open the tiny hard buttons of his shirt. Each pop releases a a tension across his skin and he feels that he can breathe easier with every one.

Jin Guangyao can hear him breathing, slow and measured, through his nose and thinks that it's probably the most comforting sound that he's ever heard in his entire life--now that he's willing to be comforted. Able to be. The reminder of Xichen's continued existence is the only sound he will ever need to be calm again.

The button up is abandoned in favor of undoing his belt--breath, more of it, infiltrating him deeper and deeper--popping the button on his slacks, tugging them down his legs in a warm slide. The quiet clink of it being tossed somewhere. A closing quiet as Xichen leans in and presses his smooth lips to his forehead. Then the corner of his eyebrow. Then the bridge of his nose. Different points and planes of his face like he is unlocking a combination that will open him up and allow him to purge the rest of the awfulness that lingers.

What it mostly is is exhaustion, now. "A-Huan," he groans--whines. Ugh.

Before disgust at himself can settle in, his husband takes this as the invitation for what it is and kisses his mouth, gentle and slow. Jin Guangyao moves his mouth back, halfheartedly, mostly parting his lips to allow him access to do whatever. But all he does is kiss him chastely. Lovingly. He tastes like green tea. Then, Xichen murmurs against his lips, "Would you like a bath?"

He vents a negating grunt, lolling his head back and forth. Baths are so much work. Even when Xichen offered to wash his hair or read to him or even join him, you still had to keep it hot, you had to endure cold when you left, get yourself dry. Too much change, too much sensation and movement.

He should be shaking himself awake. He should be apologizing for his terrible, pointless mood. He should be trying to kiss him back, love him back, pay him back. Thank him.

Xichen merely lifts his hands and presses the heels of his palms into the hinges at Jin Guangyao's jaw, inexorably grinding the tension out of them. Jin Guangyao allows himself to melt. When those cool fingertips slide into his hair, he lets them tug him upright, so Xichen can slide off his button up and slip him out of his undershirt. He shivers against the chill of the bedroom air, but he doesn't feel a surge of utter hatred for the sensations so, well, that's something. In no time, Xichen has coaxed him into the oversized shirt, removed his socks and bundled him up against the padded headboard, tucked into Xichen's side.

Jin Guangyao allows this. He allows himself to allow the blanket to be tugged up over his bare legs, Xichen to tuck the warm mug of steaming mint tea into his hands, and wind his fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and takes in a deep, shuddering breath before sighing it all out. Xichen's fingers rub soothing circles across his sore scalp.

"Open?"

He cracks one eye to see a cookie hovering at mouth level. It's too dim in the room to properly tell what kind it is, but because Xichen has been perfect in literally every other way, he simply obeys and bites down. Browned butter and sea salt and semi-sweet chocolate ooze across his tongue and the instant spike of sugar satisfaction warms his chest. Jin Guangyao chews with utter contentment, swallows, and opens his mouth again.

"Good?" Xichen's amused voice vibrates warmly through his chest as he indulgently feeds him another bite.

"Mm. Very. Did you make them?"

"I did, earlier today. I just got lucky with the timing." His nails scrape oh so gently across his scalp. "How are you doing?"

Instead of answering, Jin Guangyao blinks up at him and his sweet, kind, ridiculously gorgeous face that is graced by a light smile and a gold edge light from the bathroom.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Being terrible."

"You're never terrible."

"I was today. I think I fucked up the car."

Xichen chuckles, smile crimping to a knowing press. "I saw. It won't be a big deal. We'll deal with it later."

"...Thank you."

"Of course, A-Yao. Do you still hate everything?"

"Mm-nn." He snuggles down deeper against his ribs, looping an arm around Xichen's warm waist. He has the best husband in his arms, his dark-sweet scent is in his nose, chocolate on his tongue, and 1000 count sheets against his skin.

What is there to hate?

#I was in an exceptionally bad mood #so therefore I projected it onto JGY and made Xichen make it better #because that's what writers DO #There is no plot at all except my own journey of being in a better mood. I am now. But it is also 4:20 am. Oh well. You do what you can.#my stuff #my fic #xiyao #lxc #jgy #text #xiyao fanfic #completely unedited because that's how it goes #it's an errant thought and he doesn't mean it #brief suicide mention

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jcisthebestfightme · 4 years

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Guide to Dating by BJYX (Alternatively, Guide to disgust every one around you, especially NHS)

Disclaimer: All fanfiction.

Written with @jesiyathatsit

When flirting, send memes of yourself, but only hot ones, not weird or awkward ones. After you’re in a relationship, unleash all the ugly memes and filter.

Slap - If you slap lightly, you can show you care about the other person. If you slap too heavily, you can caress over the area of the body. It’s a win-win situation. Alternatively, you can slap your own hand to show how much you care about the other person.

Make sure your partner eats properly. Buy them food and only bring it for them. Ignore all other coworkers.

Make sure you perform in the most romantic and passionate way for your partner on National TV.

Bicker. Tell them they suck at video games, then say you will teach them.

Wear a necklace for 1 year. Make sure you gift them more necklaces to wear for a year.

Kadian.

Be LOUD around them. Make sure they hear you. Stand atop a roof if needed. Yell out their names and all names associated with them. Ignore them so they will keep yelling so the whole world knows he's yours. Yell their name back so you keep yelling back and forth

Man-handle them. Preferentially pushed up against a wall. Then look into the camera to assert dominance.

Teach them their choreography. Stalk their own dance video and secretly learn the choreography and dance in front of them to impress them. It helps if you do it poorly so they can correct you to increase body contact.

Speak in one of the languages they speak so that *enter name*exe. stops functioning. Be a koreaboo if they know Korean. Learn their regional dialect if they have one.

Chase them around with a camera. Make sure to film from all possible angles.

Have a date on a boat. Make sure your partner lies on your lap as you feed them. Give them a bad tasting lotus on purpose so they have a reason to slap you.

Try to incorporate their dietary preferences in yours. Eat spicy food to immerse in their culture, and vice versa.

Make sure your partner dresses like you so everyone can know he belongs to you.

Care about his body injuries even when you're fighting so he knows you love him.

Give each other pet names. Examples include Venus, Mars, Zhan-lang, mom, boss, bao bao, Spong-baobao (Spongebob), calling someone ge even though they're younger than you

Stare at them through interviews. Do not keep the thoughts that are running through your mind from showing on your face. Do not worry about only showing your side profile.

Orbit around them on stage. Make sure there is a significant distance between you two and the rest so you can lean in and whisper in their ear.

Have your own secret way of expressing love through gestures. Example: heart-gun.

Scream "I LOVE YOU" and make sure to repeat it so they(and everyone on this side of the universe ) can hear it. Especially Nie Huaisang.

Slap their behind. MAKE SURE TO SLAP THEIR BEHIND.

Make sure you whine in a flirty manner around them and give them the puppy eyes.

If you get injured by them, even if it didn't hurt at all, make sure to rub it in their face at all times, whine like crazy, and ask for things in return (aka brat-level 3000).

Remember to turn from a lion(cool person) into a piggy around them.

Make sure you repeatedly ask the same question. Do so until they agree with you. Example: when asking to run at 8:30 am instead of 9:00.

Baby them like a porcelain doll, guide them everyone, walk with them, tell people they're useless and can't dance or ride the bike.

Make sure you bring them to meet your brothers/sisters, preferably on tv and proceed to shower them with attention in front of your family. And make sure your family members bring out embarrassing baby photos of you, so you can act cute and embarrassed.

Have a special song to describe your partner. Make sure to sing it to them all the time. Change lyrics of song so specifically point to them.

Make sure you stalk their Weibo to find embarrassing old photos of them but compliment how cute they are in them.

Make sure you position yourself in a way that allows photos of you smiling to be taken only if the camera is behind your partner. You can’t let any thirsty fans see your cute side.

Reschedule an entire commercial so you can wrap up early and go meet your loved one.

Make sure to wear the color you define as the one that represents love to show you two have got to spend time together.

Route your plane to the furthest airport from your destination so you can secretly go meet your lover every week. Stop doing that once the filming of their drama ends.

Make sure to make vacation plans with them. Visit their family for the holidays.

Make sure to pamper them with food and gifts. Be aware of their preferences. Example: bags, helmets, skateboard, shoes, jewelry.

If necessary, retaliate by warning them about not paying for their break pads (jokingly of course. otherwise, it will counter previous step that suggests to pamper them.)

On your birthday, give them the first slice of cake. Make sure it has the most chocolate pieces.

Show them that you think of them even when they are not there by drawing one of their features(e.g.: their mole) on the back of your palm when asked to test a makeup product.

#bjyx #yizhan

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 12 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Funsies)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

After locking Wei Wuxian into some comically large chains, Wen Chao has him thrown into the dungeon, with an unpleasant surprise.

This Fucking Dog

Being a fan of The Untamed involves occasional second-hand embarrassment, like when they fly on their swords, or the zombies all have the same wig, or a fight sequence moves slower than everybody’s granny. It's ok because each of these things is offset by excellence in acting, story, costumes, weapons, sets, etc.

Then there's this fucking dog.

The department of questionable practical effects really outdid themselves with this thing. Just seeing this awful creation on screen gives me so much cringe squick I can barely look at it. But for you, dear readers, I FORCED MY EYEBALLS to watch the entire dog sequence OVER AND OVER. Then I applied some brightness adjustments and looked at it EVEN MORE.

Let's get desensitized! I’m going all in on this monstrosity.

First, this dog does not ever move its body or its feet. Its legs are totally immobile. It appears to be made of a big sawhorse with a stick for the neck. The head swings up and down and side to side. That’s it.

“Animatronic” is too generous of a term for this thing. The animatronics at Chucky Cheese learned to play musical instruments and host birthday parties decades ago. This dog cannot play an instrument and it has to wait for Wei Wuxian to walk over to it before it can attack him.

When it falls over after Wen Ning K.O’s it, it’s like a chair falling over. It just topples to the side, legs sticking straight out.

(more after the cut)

Next, It has a mouth full of teeth, which opens and closes. And it has drool the texture of Astroglide Extra-Thick Gel. But...no tongue.

Seriously you guys, it literally does not have a tongue. They just sculpted a little bump at the at the bottom of its mouth, despite dogs being known for, like, lolling their tongues out of their mouths at every opportunity.

Moving along, it has dull, lifeless eyes, and its eyelids are visibly disconnected from the rest of its head, like a doll that mechanically shuts its eyes when you lay it down to sleep.

Finally, its fur looks like a fucking muppet, and it has random shiny spots all around its eyes and lips. These are probably supposed to be body fluids of some kind, but they just look like someone was careless with the cra-z-glue.

Xiao Zhan gamely tries to act opposite this ridiculous fail prop, but there is nothing remotely scary about it.

Here is Wei Wuxian being scared. I replaced the animatronic dog with a reversed clip of my dog Pepper asking for a piece of cheese, and I think it looks more convincing this way.

Ok, let's be done with this stupid fucking dog. Wen Ning knocks it out, Wen Chao criticizes it in the morning, and nobody ever speaks of it again.

Wei Wuxian is so mortified to have endured this farce that when Lan Wangji asks him, much later, “why are you afraid of dogs?” he does not say “don’t you remember that time I got chewed on by a giant animatronic dog at Wen Chao’s place?” but instead pretends that this never fucking happened.

Wen Ning to the Rescue

For contrast, the next dungeon scene is a really touching and important encounter between Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian.

Wen Ning comes and knocks out the creature, and gives Wei Wuxian medicine.

Wen Ning is doing this in defiance of his clan and his sister, simply because Wei Wuxian is his friend. Yes, he feels indebted, but Wen Qing saved WWX’s life once, so the tally is already even. Wen Ning is just super attached to Wei Wuxian, and vice versa; WWX calls him Wen-Xiong in this scene.

When Wen Ning explains how to use the medicine, Wei Wuxian changes the subject to ask how WN and his sister are doing. He is bleeding, chained up, high on adrenaline and fear, and what he really wants is to hear how his friends are doing. When Wen Ning talks about Wen Qing’s troubles, Wei Wuxian wishes she would accept help, instead of always going it alone.

Wei Wuxian thanks Wen Ning formally, and tells him no words can express his gratitude. Whether this is a literally correct translation, the gratitude both of these young men feel toward each other transcends words. It will become a driving force in both of their lives as they save each other from increasingly awful situations.

Wen Ning tells Wei Wuxian about the burning of Cloud Recesses....the burning of the half we never visit. It would suck to damage that exquisite set, so I’m ok with that production choice, but creates some cognitive dissonance when characters get upset about the fire.

Wei Wuxian reacts to the news of Lan Wangji’s injury by punching the concrete floor of the dungeon, which is dumb but also highly relatable.

After Wen Ning leaves, Wei Wuxian decides to save the medicine for Lan Wangji, who might not even need it, while WWX is bleeding right now and definitely needs it. No matter how bad things are for him personally, Wei Wuxian is always thinking about ways to help the people he loves, and constantly seeing his own needs as less important than everybody else’s.

Breakfast Time

After his night of terror and maiming, Wei Wuxian emerges as chipper as ever. Almost like he is already an expert at hiding his trauma from the people close to him.

Lan Wangji gives him a careful look, taking in the sight of his ripped clothes and bloody neck and hands.

Jiang Cheng is angry at Wei Wuxian for joking about his injuries, so he shoves him, potentially causing more injuries.

Wei Wuxian laughs off the signs of torture and attempted murder and everyone goes along with it. Nobody knows what happened to him other than "dungeon" and what he looks like right now, and they’re all just like, okey dokey, I guess you’re fine.

He’ll carefully laugh off his months in the burial mounds in the same way, later, and Jiang Cheng will accept it nearly as readily as he accepts this. But by that time Lan Wangji will see right through him.

Nie Huaisang mentions the Lan Clan in the course of discussing breakfast, and then everyone pauses awkwardly because they know that mentioning this will make Lan Wangji think about the recent attack on his home and the deaths of many of his fellow disciples. Whereas if nobody had mentioned it, he totally wouldn't think about it. That's how grief works, right?

Insult to Injury

Wen Chao decides to spend some time gloating about battles and insulting people's families, which he does with Wen Qing standing behind his eyeline so that she can warn Wei Wuxian not to let his brother go off.

Jiang Cheng is not going to let anybody who isn't his mother insult his father like that, but in a reversal of their normal roles, Wei Wuxian restrains him and helps keep him from doing something rash.

Monster Hunting

Wen Chao makes everyone read out loud until Nie Huaisang wisely faints and gets carried off. Then he gathers everyone for a monster hunt. It's unclear why he wants to go monster hunting but he sure does, and bringing the hostages along might make them all die, which would be a nice bonus.

The cultivators wander around en masse in a small section of forest, thoroughly covering every inch of it. This is a great way to hunt for a dead body but not so good for living prey.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng stand around like bitchy queens at a dance club, talking smack about Wen Chao and his girlfriend.

Wei Wuxian brings out a salty phrase and Jiang Cheng wonders what websites he's been going to.

Dude. Lighten up.

Leave that Boy Alone

Wei Wuxian notices Lan Wangji struggling, and now that he knows the backstory, he's determined to help. Jiang Cheng is determined to stop him.

This is, once again, the fundamental disagreement between the brothers, and it's never going to be solvable. Jiang Cheng's specific dislike of Lan Wangji may be rooted in jealousy, but his belief in not helping outsiders runs a lot deeper than that.

For Wei Wuxian, there is no such thing as having helped enough. If someone is his friend, he will never stop helping them, and he has a lot of friends, and makes new ones wherever he goes. He's always going to be giving something of himself, to the detriment of any conflicting obligations.

Jiang Cheng tells him that Lan Wangji won't accept his help, and Wei Wuxian says that's not the point.

What other people think, want, say, or do, is not going to have any effect on whether Wei Wuxian does what he feels is right. This is a bit of a problem where a person's right to self-determination conflicts with Wei Wuxian's need to help them, as Jiang Cheng will eventually discover.

Jiang Cheng's least effective argument is the one he relies on most often when they disagree: other people's problems are not our responsibility. He's saying this to an orphan who was eating trash and stealing scraps from dogs before Jiang Fengmian came into his life.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t seem to realize the underlying logic of this argument. If it's wrong for Wei Wuxian to help the people he cares about, it was also wrong for Jiang Fengmian to help Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian and would willingly die for him, but he, like his mother, rejects the philosophy that brought them together in the first place.

Wei Wuxian walks away from an upset and shocked Jiang Cheng to offer a piggyback ride to Lan Wangji.

...who won't accept it, but who will remember the offer forever.

Writing prompt: Thoughts of an animatronic dog

Soundtrack: Five Nights at Freddy’s by The Living Tombstone

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #chen qing ling #wei wuxian #giant animatronic dog #lan wangji #jiang cheng #restless rewatch the untamed #my gifs #canary3d-original #the untamed spoilers #embarrassment #this dog is why I started writing these #this goddamn dog

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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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Word of Honor Ep 6, and let’s talk a little about what’s canon, and what’s not, and about the particular slip-slidiness of the line between them on this show.

But first, due diligence: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so you’re going to find SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the entire show. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch unspoiled. Also, heads-up, this got super long, because I had to talk about that stuff up there and then still talk about the ep. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

So, “canon,” as applied to fannish source material (in Western fandom, at least) traditionally has been considered the official stuff – the episode, the book, the comic, the movie – based on the religious definition of “canon,” the collection of texts accepted as genuine and official within a religion. The word “fanon” – widely accepted fannish ideas – plays on this, as does the fandom concept of “word of God,” or things the Creators have said about the text but outside of it. Is it in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Canon. Is it not in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Not canon. (Apocrypha? Maybe. Anyway.) Generally, I think we’d say that things like material in the first draft of a script that doesn’t make it through revisions and onto the screen isn’t canon, even if you can get your hands on a copy of the first draft. The final product that airs is what’s canon. BUT this gets super slippery in something like WoH, in a way that’s exemplified in this episode. This ep is one of the places where people who can lip-read Chinese have spotted some significant dialogue changes between what the actors say on-screen and what lines have been dubbed in. (Everybody’s dubbed in cdramas, it’s just the thing that happens. You have your on-screen actors, and you have your voice actors. The ONLY person in The Untamed who did his own voice dubbing, for instance, was Ji Li, who played Nie Huaisang. All the other characters had voice actors dubbed in. In fact, the voice actor for Jiang Cheng in The Untamed is the voice actor for Wen Kexing in WoH.) One of the descriptions of WoH that I’ve heard is that this show was filmed as a bl and dubbed as a bromance. The thing is, nobody tried very hard to hide the shift. There are plenty of places that you can clearly see the actor’s mouths don’t match the dubbing, and they’re not artfully shot or edited to hide this. They’re fully on-screen, mouthing words that don’t match, right out in the open, almost like they want to you to pick up on it. Almost like it’s canon, because it’s right there on-screen, aired in the episode. In my first-watch reactions to Eps 36 and 37, I talked a lot about how the dubbing puts a layer of de-queered no-homo over what the on-screen actors are saying in these places, but if you can see what they’re actually saying and understand it, does that make it canon? What does it mean, both textually and meta-textually, if you can’t believe what you’re hearing – what you’re being told – because it contradicts what you’re seeing? How does that affect what we’re told about Our Protagonists and its “truth,” particularly in the final scenes? How much is the show deliberately working against censorship in this way? How much is it teaching us to look deeper than what we’re hearing on the surface?

Several people have talked about what’s actually being said by the on-screen actors in places where this happens, and I’m going to direct you to AvenueX on Youtube if you want a complete overview, because she’s reliable and has a good compilation that’s easy to find. She has a couple of videos called “Lip Reading for Sugar,” and the March 9, 2021, installment includes the Ep 6 incidences, the most significant of which are: At 3:05 in the ep, when WKX throws himself on Zhou Zishu’s back during the zombie Drug Men attack, calls him “mom,” asks ZZS to carry him, and tells “mom” that “your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” Only no, Gong Jun didn’t say this, if you watch his mouth compared to the sound of the words. Instead of “niang” (mom), he says “Zhou Zishu.” Twice. “Zhou Zishu, carry me.” “Zhou Zishu, your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” This is not only important because it emphasizes he’s gay for Zhou Zishu’s shoulder blades, but also because he’s fucking baked on Drunk Like A Dream incense when it happens, and later, ZZS will reveal that Drunk Like a Dream makes you see what you most desire, and he’ll confront WKX about how he “kept calling” someone’s name while he was under the influence of it. This makes no sense with the dubbing we get, because with “mom” dubbed over ZZS’s name here, WKX only calls Zhou Zishu’s real name once while he’s under the influence, at the end of ep 5. That is not kept calling. ANYWAY, once WKX clears his head and flies them away from the Drug Men, back to the a lakeside, there’s another disjunct at 5:05, when the dubbing has WKX tell ZZS not to play hero, that he doesn’t lose face if WKX helps him, and ZZS responds with something about your grandmother’s bear, which AvenueX tells me is a real Chinese idiom, although not for what. What Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan appear to actually have said, though, is that WKX tells ZZS that this was just like a hero saving a beauty, with the implication that ZZS is the beauty, the damsel in distress, and ZZS respons that no, it’s like the beauty saving the hero, without a lick of concern that he’s the beauty, the damsel, in this scenario, just that he did all the work killing Drug Men and now this asshole is going to act like he’s the one who did the saving. At 31:24, dubbing has WKX telling ZZS that he’ll give ZZS whatever he wants if ZZS can get him some of the Drunk Like a Dream, but AvenueX tells me that he actually offers his body in exchange, in a way that implies marriage. And at 32:22, when ZZS asks WKX what he saw under the influence of the Drunk Like a Dream, the dubbing gives us some random story about baby WKX throwing a rat on his mother’s bed, while Gong Jun’s mouth seems to be saying something something about being in the bridal chamber with his beloved … so circling back to our first instance at 3:05, WKX using Zhou ZIshu’s name is now super-interesting, eh?

Another slip-slidey point of canon here is that there are two versions of this episode. The original version didn’t have the rabbit-washing scene. That was an extra that was inserted later into a Special Version ep when Youku reached 2 million subscribers. But the Special Version is now available on Youku’s channel (it’s the one I watched for this re-watch), AND it’s the regular version that’s on Netflix. So at 25:28, we now get this adorable little scene where ZZS and WKX are cleaning two rabbits in the lake before cooking them, and WKX splashes ZZS who pretends to be irritated before splashing WKX back and running away up the riverbank, chased by WKX. It’s flirty and playful and ALSO a foreshadowing of the flashback we’re going to see in a later ep, when they play together for an afternoon as children. Wasn’t canon before. Now it is.

Anyway, even with the (bad) dubbing that we get, this is a fantastic WenZhou ep. We open with them still being menaced by the zombies Drug Men, with a lot of swordwork by ZZS before he starts flagging because of his Nails Issue, whereupon WKX instantly sobers up, goes Evil Ghost Valley Master on Imposter Hanged Ghost who’s controlling the Drug Men, kills him with his Fan of Death, then scoops up ZZS and flies him off to a lake, where he attempts to tenderly check ZZS’s pulse and take care of his wounds before ZZS slaps away his hand like an offended maiden. WKX has to give him the qi smackdown in order to hold him still to :coff: pull down his robes and suck out the poison from the Drug Men scratches on the back of his shoulder. :hands: I remember the first time around, watching this with my mouth hanging open, demanding to know the heterosexual explanation for this. (Also, if you’re rummaging on Youtube, the Five Straight Guys Watching Word of Honor for this ep is not to be missed. They’re a little questionable in their reaction to the poison sucking, but before that, they’re a bunch of squeamish babies over using the dagger to further slice open the wounds to get to the poison, and it’s HILARIOUS. They can’t even look at the screen once the dagger comes out, hiding behind their hands. I love them, more and more as the eps go on, but they are WEAK compared to even the newbiest hurt/comfort fangirl.) There’s some more back and forth between WKX and ZZS about revealing their true selves to each other, no you, no YOU. WKX makes it clear that he knows there’s something really wrong with ZZS, and then they fight, set to romantic music, and ZZS ends up falling in the lake. I do the victory arms ( \o/ ) to myself where I’m sitting on the couch and startle one of the cats, because FINALLY we’re going to get rid of that execrable fake facial hair. ZZS fucks with WKX by staying underwater long enough that WKX panics and also dives in, we get some really cheap and awful underwater effects, and ZZS reveals his face! They end up back on the edge of the lake, drying their perfectly dry outer robes, while they sit around the fire together in their perfectly dry inner robes, but I am not going to complain because y’all. I CANNOT with how smug and pleased ZZS is for just a moment about WKX mooning over how pretty he is. Then he remembers to be an ill-tempered gremlin and pokes at WKX with a flaming stick, but I had to rewind four times just to catch that little moment of satisfaction about being admired again – it’s subtle and gorgeous and Zhang Zhehan is going to kill me with his face one of these days. ZZS demands dinner on this date, and fake-coughs pitifully to get WKX to go hunt something down, while he stays and does his delightful little thinky face as he pokes at the Soul Winding Box they got from Imposter Hanged Ghost. Then we get a shot of WKX looking at ZZS before he heads off to catch some rabbits that confirms he now knows he’s really Zhou Zishu, rather than Zhou Xu.

So, we’ll get back to the Ghost and the Box in a minute, but I do want to mention that this whole ep is layered through with mini-references and thematic stuff. Imposter Hanged Ghost rings his little bell to control his Drug Men, and remember that, we’ll see that again. WKX asks if ZZS came from the Healer’s Valley when ZZS offers him an antidote to the Drug Man poison; we learn later that WKX, himself, is the one who came from the Healer’s Valley. When ZZS gets the Soul Winding Box open and finds a piece of the Glazed Armor inside (Danyang’s, taken off of Ao Laizi by Ghost Valley before he was hung at the gate of Sanbai Manor), he gives it to WKX, tells him to throw it away if he doesn’t want it. WKX says he couldn’t possibly, and that he’ll wear it because it’s his first gift from A-Xu. Compare this to the way Xie’er will wear Awful Yifu’s Glazed Armor around his neck. We also see some of the thematic and referential stuff come up in conversations that form a repeated pattern in this ep of ZZS stressing what a bad and dangerous person he is: He scoffs at the idea he’s from Healer’s Valley, and asks if he looks like someone who practices medicine; WKX responds that he looked like a professional killer (true) who was cruel in the abandoned temple (presumably while escaping Mirror Lake) and frightening to a kind-hearted man like WKX who can’t even kill a chicken (particularly amusing given the prep for New Year’s dinner in a later ep, when WKX is the only one who CAN). At the lakeside and again after ZZS hightails it away from Sanbai Manor when they spot Han Ying there (HAN YING, my beloved), WKX asks if ZZS is a fugitive, what he’s hiding from, and says that he’ll protect him – by reason, because would he kill anyone unreasonably (omg, where to even begin? How many guys have you choked out at this point)? When they’re arguing about ZZS revealing his “true” face, ZZS warns that most people who’ve seen his real appearance are dead (probably true). WKX says he’s not afraid of death (not his own, at least, we’ll see that the thing he’s afraid of is ZZS’s death). ZZS warns WKX that he’s not only sharp-tongued, he’s ruthless (true). He tells WKX that he’s murdered many people (true) and set them on fire (not unlikely, frankly) and committed many crimes (true, in a way, although they were state-sanctioned, making them legal, if morally reprehensible). This is the ZZS who put the Nails in himself, who talks to himself about what a truly awful shixiong he is, who tells Prince Jin that he’s only good as a weapon. I like how we see this at the same time that we’re starting to see the side of him that’ll preen when someone thinks he’s pretty - this is a process, and it’s subtle, not as high-drama as WKX’s, but it’s there, nonetheless.

We also formally meet Xie Wang in this ep, artfully posed and playing his pipa among the bodies – old and new – of Zhao Coffin Home. He and Changing Ghost have a bit of a slapfight over whose fault it is that Imposter Hanged Ghost, who was actually Long-Tongued Ghost, got killed and got his (Danyang’s) Glazed Armor took by WKX, when Changing Ghost stole it from Ao Laizi, put it in the Soul Winding Box and gave it to Long-Tongued Ghost specifically to deliver it to Xie Wang. Xie Wang is super cool through all of this, and I think we get a sense of how deadly he is by the way Changing Ghost backs down. So, here’s what’s falling together: Some iteration of Ghost Valley is working with Xie Wang and the Scorpion Sect, giving the Scorpions access to the Soul Winding Threads, which we saw used at the Mirror Lake massacre and in the woods outside of Sanbai Manor to kill Yu Tianjie in the last ep. Via Xie Wang, Ghost Vally has access to use of the Drug Men, which we’ve seen at the Zhao Coffin Home (so far), although we haven’t yet been told (I think) how Xie Wang got access to the potions to create Drug Men (we also know ZZS read about Drug Men in a book somewhere, and got enough info to engineer an antidote to them). Xie Wang and the Scorpions have access to Drunk Like a Dream incense, which had to come from Prince Jin’s court, having been engineered by ZZS based on a much stronger formulation. Han Ying, from Tian Chuang in Prince Jin’s court, has been seen at Sanbai Manor, Zhao Jing’s place.

Meanwhile Chengling is doing poorly, with no appetite and getting bellowed at some more by Shen Shen, who would be the worst if only I didn’t know everything I know, which makes me cringe when Zhao Jing refers to Chengling as “my son, now.” NO. RUN, Goldbean. For some more thematic and referential stuff in this ep, WKX calls Chengling a “lonely chick with no one to rely on” and tsks over the fact that he’s “surrounded by hounds smarter than foxes” now that he’s under the care of the Five Lakes Alliance. This is clearly to manipulate ZZS into thinking Chengling is better off with ZZS, but it also sounds like an awfully apt description of Zhen Yan in Ghost Valley. I’m just sayin’.

#zhou zishou #wen kexing #xie wang #zhang chengling #zhao jing #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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merlinsbed · 3 years

Text

was losing my mind today from a combination of sleep deprivation, anxiety, and five different ideas all competing at the exact same time for my attention so I picked one and spent a few hours writing it out.

basically, prince lan wangji falls in love with concubine wei wuxian in nightless city. a/b/o verse mostly because it was a very convenient excuse for wwx being wen ruohan's concubine. about 5.8k in length.

When he arrives in Qishan Lan Wangji can see why people consider the Imperial Palace to be intimidating. The sharp, cutting angles combined with the black and red color scheme, not to mention the sheer mass of the place. It's a city in its own right. Lan Wangji takes it all in with the same blank expression he keeps carefully in place anytime he's somewhere public. The personal guard his brother sent with him shifts nervously where they stand.

Second Prince Wen Chao is sent to greet him. He manages to make Lan Wangji's own royal title sound like an insult and the Gusu Lan guards bristle. Lan Wangji has to remind himself of exactly what's at stake if he offends a member of the Wen royal family and just barely manages an appropriate bow.

The guest quarters set aside for him aren't bad. They smell... not exactly bad and even if they did Lan Wangji is well disciplined enough to ignore it, but it's not exactly pleasant either. The source is an incense burner left out in the bedroom. Lan Wangji stares at it for a long moment, frowning. Then he dumps the old incense and brings out some of his own. Sandalwood, like his own natural scent. Within minutes the smell starts to permeate the room and some of the tension fades from Lan Wangji's shoulders. He doesn't want to be here, but the Wens had... not demanded it, but implied that they were prepared to if the King of Gusu denied their request. They wouldn't say outright that they're taking hostages, but it's the only reason they would suddenly demand that the heirs of the major provinces must be sent to Qishan. For their education, ostensibly. To learn about appropriate leadership or something. Really, it's just a show of power. It's the Wens showing that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, including take the heirs of the provinces.

Lan Wangji steps out onto the porch and takes in the courtyard of the guest quarters. He's sharing the compound with the other province heirs from Qinghe, Yunmeng, and Lanling. Guards from each province are scattered in front of their respective dwellings. Lan Wangji has been on his fair share of diplomatic visits, usually to assist his brother rather than represent him. Qishan is, by far, the most depressing. The palace of Cloud Recesses rests high in the mountains of Gusu and is surrounded by lush forests, flowing rivers, and mountain meadows. By comparison, Qishan is browns and greys painted across severe cliffsides. Even the palace gardens are far more barren than Lan Wangji is used to. He turns to go back inside when movement catches his eye.

A young man enters the courtyard of the guest quarters and pauses, hesitating just inside the threshold as he worries his bottom lip between his teeth. He's dressed in delicate reds and blacks, hair held away from his face by an ostentatious golden ornament. A light breeze carries his scent across the courtyard, something light and floral that tickles at Lan Wangji's memories. He thinks of loud, carefree laughter carrying through the library window accompanied by the flick of long dark hair over a shoulder clad in white guest robes during the lecture his uncle hosts every few years for children of noble families. He blinks and frowns. The young man- an omega, based on his scent- takes a halting step forward. Then he seems to release a great breath and frowns at the ground. His eyes keep darting towards the Yunmeng quarters where Prince Jiang Wanyin is staying. Interesting. Lan Wangji searches his memory, but the lecture feels like a lifetime ago. So much has happened in the five years since then.

Lan Wangji is so caught up in his thoughts it takes him a moment to realize that the omega is now staring at him. Their eyes meet and Lan Wangji sucks in a sharp breath. There's something distinctly sad about the omega's entire being. He's unhappy here, Lan Wangji thinks, but who isn't? The omega's chin tilts up slightly, scenting the air and his breath seems to catch in his throat. Then a Wen guard storms in and ushers him along. Lan Wangji stands on the porch of his new residence until long after the omega is gone from his sight.

It takes several days to find out the identity of the omega. Gossip is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, but his brother had also told him to do what he has to to survive here. This probably isn't quite what Lan Xichen had in mind, but who's to say Lan Wangji won't suffer greatly for not knowing the young omega's name.

He is called Wei Wuxian.

He was given to Emperor Wen Ruohan as a concubine for his harem four years ago.

"The Wens demanded tribute," the head of his personal guard reports. "the Jiangs refused to hand over their daughter, so they gave Wen Ruohan their ward."

Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji remembers him. Cloud Recesses has only very recently begun to desegregate alphas, betas, and omegas. Back then, Wei Wuxian had spent most of his time with his adopted older sister in the quarters for omegas, but that hadn't stopped Lan Wangji from catching sight of him. All too often that lotus blossom scent would drift to him on the wind, accompanied by Wei Wuxian's unrestrained laughter. It had grated on Lan Wangji at first. Until the day he'd gone to his rabbits and found the clearing already occupied. Wei Wuxian had sat in the grass, the skirts of his guest robes spread haphazardly around him, giggling as the rabbits cautiously approached him, sniffing at his fingers. Lan Wangji had stood for too long on the edge of the clearing, Wei Wuxian's intoxicating scent swirling around him, laughter dancing in his ears, and that sweet smile seared forever into his memory. It's a far cry from the sadness Wei Wuxian carries himself with now. No wonder Lan Wangji hadn't recognized him at first.

There's a feast commemorating something Lan Wangji doesn't care to remember two weeks after their arrival in Qishan. It's the first time he manages to get a glimpse of Wei Wuxian since that first day when he'd come to the guest quarters. Wen Ruohan's wife passed away eight years ago, so he often has his favorite concubine sit beside him at feasts. She's a sultry looking omega who flutters her eyelashes at the emperor and giggles flirtatiously all through the meal. Lan Wangji's eyes slide right past him and instead land on Wei Wuxian where he stands stiff backed and obedient just behind Wen Ruohan's shoulder, there to serve food and drinks for the emperor, apparently. All through the feast he diligently assures that the emperor's cup remains filled and that the best dishes are always within reach. He looks miserable. Lan Wangji wants to sweep him away from here, take him back to Gusu, back to the clearing with rabbits where Wei Wuxian had smiled so sweetly.

He doesn't realize he's staring until their eyes lock. After a moment, a ghost of a smile hesitantly touches Wei Wuxian's lips. Lan Wangji's heart pounds in his chest. Even the ghost of Wei Wuxian's beauty is enough to leave him breathless. For a moment, the rest of the room falls away. Then Wei Wuxian's eyes shift and the smile disappears. Lan Wangji follows his gaze to Jiang Wanyin. Wei Wuxian had never been officially adopted by the Jiang family, but Jiang Fengmian had raised him alongside his own children anyway, much to his wife's chagrin. Lan Wangji wonders what it's like for Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin to see each other now.

The banquet drags on. Lan Wangji is used to a strict schedule of sleeping at nine and waking at five. He can tell by how exhausted he is that nine has come and gone, but Wen Ruohan does not permit anyone to leave a feast before he does. Nie Huaisang, sitting to Lan Wangji's left, reaches over and flicks him every time his eyes start to droop. It's annoying, but for the best. Lan Wangji does not want the embarrassment of falling asleep on the remnants of his meal at a feast in Qishan. The less the Wens have to attack him with the better. He'll have to thank Huaisang later for this. They're not friends, really, but close enough, thanks to forced proximity. As princes their older brothers were close friends and they remain so even after ascending to their respective thrones.

When Wen Ruohan finally leaves, Lan Wangji lets out the barest hint of a relieved sigh. He waits until a few minutes after the emperor has exited the room before getting up and leaving as well. Outside, he pauses and takes in a deep breath of cold, night air. It wakes him up a bit and that's how he becomes aware of the crying. Frowning, he follows it to a small alcove tucked out of the way and shaded by a tree in the process of losing its leaves. Wei Wuxian stands there, arms wrapped around himself, shoulders hitching with sobs he's desperately trying to quiet. A stick cracks under Lan Wangji's boot. Wei Wuxian's head whips up.

"Your highness," he says quickly, bowing, tears still trailing down his cheeks.

"Wei-gongzi, are you alright?" Lan Wangji asks. The head of his guard had mentioned that Wen Ruohan is possessive of his harem. He loves to show them off, but no one is allowed to touch. Last year he caught one of his concubines having an affair with a foreign dignitary from a small clan. Both had been executed. He should turn around and leave before someone sees them, but Wei Wuxian's eyes go wide.

"I didn't think you remembered me," Wei Wuxian says. His smile is watery and sad. "The few times we talked I just seemed to annoy you."

"That was a long time ago," Lan Wangji says. He wants to explain that it hadn't been because he couldn't stand Wei Wuxian, but because he didn't know what to do about the odd, uncomfortable feeling in his chest every time he caught Wei Wuxian's scent or saw the flick of his red ribbon or heard his laughter. Instead, he asks again, "Are you alright?"

Wei Wuxian wipes at his tears and his laugh is anything but joyous. "It's just- a lot," he says. "I thought it would be nice seeing Jiang Cheng again, but it just reminds me that I..." That he's stuck here. That he can't go home. Before he realizes what he's doing, Lan Wangji raises a hand. Wei Wuxian's breath hitches. Lan Wangji freezes. For a long moment his hand remains there, hovering in the space between them. Then Lan Wangji drops it to his side.

"You look like you need to go rest," Wei Wuxian says, dropping his eyes. It's so uncharacterists that Lan Wangji doesn't know what to do. The Wei Wuxian that wreaked havoc on Cloud Recesses was anything but demure and polite. Before he can figure it out, Wei Wuxian bows and whirls around, disappearing into the night.

They fall into it slowly. Lan Wangji tries not to. He is well aware of the consequences if Wen Ruohan catches wind of him anywhere near one of his concubines, but even back in Cloud Recesses he'd been unable to help but be drawn to Wei Wuxian. They go from sideways glances to little stolen snatches of conversation in unobserved corners to his guard pointedly turning a blind eye to Wei Wuxian climbing through his window as the sky darkens, looking more alive than Lan Wangji has seen him so far in Qishan.

It's been six months since Lan Wangji and the other heirs arrived, but it hasn't been nearly as miserable as he anticipated. They're expected to attend lessons several days a week which mostly consists of reciting various sayings from past members of the Wen clan and listening to second Prince Wen Chao tell them how stupid and worthless they are. But at the end of the day now comes the possibility of Wei Wuxian crawling in through his window. It doesn't happen every night. Wei Wuxian is far from being Wen Ruohan's favorite concubine.

"He likes to look at me," Wei Wuxian had said one night, head pillowed on Lan Wangji's thigh as Lan Wangji absently plucked out melodies on his qin. "But he rarely actually takes me to bed."

Tonight, as the melody of a song Lan Wangji started writing five years ago fades into the darkening evening, Wei Wuxian crawls into his lap, arms wrapped loosely around Lan Wangji's neck, their noses almost touching. His sweet lotus blossom scent permeates the air, mixing with Lan Wangji's sandalwood. They twine together in a beautiful harmony. Lan Wangji doesn't know who moves first, but the touch of Wei Wuxian's lips to his own is everything he's been imagining and more. The layers of silk slide easily from his shoulders and Lan Wangji splays his hands against the bare skin of Wei Wuxian's back, swallowing his gasp in yet another kiss. From there, it seems only natural to carry Wei Wuxian to his bed, lay him down on the soft sheets, and crawl between his legs. Lan Wangji has read books, but none of them prepared him for what it's actually like.

He doesn't fall asleep with Wei Wuxian wrapped in his arms because someone would notice that Wei Wuxian is missing from his room in the morning. Instead, he wipes the evidence of their activities carefully from Wei Wuxian's skin, helps him dress, then watches him climb back out the window. Wei Wuxian pauses.

"You can call me Wei Ying," he says, almost shy. Lan Wangji swallows, mouth suddenly dry. Wei Wuxian- no, Wei Ying is giving him permission to call him by his birth name.

"You may do the same," Lan Wangji says. A warm smile spreads slow and beautiful across Wei Ying's face.

"Okay." He leans in through the window and kisses Lan Wangji on the cheek. "Goodnight, Lan Zhan." And then he's gone. Lan Wangji stands there for several long minutes before closing the window, smiling to himself.

His brother would be horrified if he knew about the affair. Not because premarital sex goes against their clan's rules. Lan Wangji happens to know his brother would be a hypocrite in that case. No, he would be horrified that Lan Wangji is behaving so recklessly. Every day he tells himself he'll stop and every evening he leaves the window unlocked for Wei Ying to sneak through. It's stupid. Wen Ruohan will kill them both if he finds out. Lan Wangji keeps doing it anyway.

The thing is, it's not just his life at stake if things go wrong. Lan Wangji knows that if Wen Ruohan were to discover the affair and send his men, his own Gusu Lan guards would fight every soldier in Qishan to protect him. There's no way they would survive that. And no doubt his actions would have consequences back home in Gusu as well. It's selfish and stupid and a million other things that Lan Wangji has been raised not to be.

And yet, when Wen Ruohan leaves Qishan right as Wei Ying is about to go into heat, Lan Wangji still sneaks through Nightless City to Wei Ying's room and stays there through the whole weekend. He leaves only because he is expected at Wen Chao's ridiculous indoctrination lessons the next day. Wei Ying pouts at him, his heat temporarily soothed.

"There's still two more days of my heat left," he complains. He flutters his eyelashes at Lan Wangji. "Er-gege, won't you stay and take care of your Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji looks at him, sprawled naked on his bed, hair splayed across the deep red fabric of the sheets. It sends a stab of want through Lan Wangji and it takes all his willpower not to strip back down himself and rejoin Wei Ying in bed. He reminds himself he would have to scrub Wei Ying's heat laden scent from his body all over again, lest someone smell it on him and report the incident to Wen Ruohan when he returns.

"I will return to you tonight," Lan Wangji promise. He shouldn't. But as he looks at Wei Ying's mollified expression he knows he will. He's already cutting it close staying until morning, but when he tried to leave the bed last night Wei Ying had whined and clung to him and he hadn't had the heart to leave him. This is one advantage at least to waking up early. There's still time for him to get back to his room before it gets too light out. He doesn't kiss Wei Ying goodbye because he knows he won't leave if he does.

Two days later, on the final night of Wei Ying's heat, they lie pressed together, sweaty and heaving. Wei Ying is sprawled across him, the two of them still tied together. Lan Wangji closes his eyes, his arms tightening around Wei Ying. He fights the urge to dip into the crook of Wei Ying's neck and sink his teeth into soft, smooth skin. He wants so badly to mark Wei Ying, to claim him as his own, but it would only get them both killed.

He feels Wei Ying's nose brush against the skin of his neck, lightly scenting him. It's followed by little kitten licks, then soft nips. Lan Wangji shivers. He thinks about the high collars of his robes. If it's a little towards his shoulder, no one would ever know. His hand comes up and tangles loosely in Wei Ying's hair, gently guiding his mouth to the right spot. Wei Ying stills.

"Lan Zhan?" His lips brush against Lan Wangji's skin as he says his name.

"You can, if you want to," Lan Wangji says. Wei Ying pulls back far enough to blink down at him, eyes wide. His skin is flushed pink with the fever of his heat and there's a haze to his eyes, but there's also wonder and perhaps a spark of hope.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says again, so soft and fond. "Lan Zhan I can't." He sounds so pained. Lan Wangji hates it. Wei Ying should never sound like that. He strokes his fingers soothingly over Wei Ying's cheek.

"Yes you can," he says.

Wei Ying shakes his head, even as he leans in to Lan Wangji's touch. "You're not mine to claim," he whispers. "What if you meet someone else? Someone better?" Lan Wangji recoils from the very thought there could be anyone better than Wei Ying. Wei Ying is perfect and beautiful.

"For me, there is only you," Lan Wangji says. He guides Wei Ying's head back down to his shoulder. "There will only ever be you, Wei Ying." Wei Ying's breath shudders across his skin. Then he bites and Lan Wangji gasps.

Lan Wangji leaves Wei Ying's room late that night, the new claim bite hidden beneath his pristine robes.

A month later, a banquet is held to celebrate the end of the indoctrination. It's been a year since the heirs of the noble families were sent to Qishan to be educated. Lan Wangji should be happy that it's almost over. And part of him is. He can't keep the smile from his face when he goes to greet his brother in his own guest rooms. He's never gone so long before without seeing his older brother. If not for Wei Ying, his time in Qishan would have been so much more miserable.

"Wangji," Lan Xichen greets warmly. Lan Wangji isn't the sort that often seeks physical comfort from others (Wei Ying excepted, of course), but when Lan Xichen opens his arms in invitation Lan Wangji takes it. It feels good to be folded in his brother's embrace.

"I hope you've been well," Lan Xichen says when they pull apart and sit to share tea.

"I have sent letters," Lan Wangji points out. Not overly detailed letters, but he was always sure to let his brother know that though he missed home he was doing alright.

"Yes, but it isn't the same as seeing you with my own eyes, didi," Lan Xichen says. They chat and it's so nice and familiar that Lan Wangji can almost forget they're still in Qishan.

The banquet is much more bearable with his brother and the other rulers there. No one pays as much attention to one prince in a room full of kings. It's good because Wen Ruohan is having Wei Ying serve him again tonight. Lan Wangji steals more glances at him than he should, eyes lingering on the peak of Wei Ying's wrist when he holds his sleeve out of the way to pour Wen Ruohan more wine. His gaze keeps being drawn to Wei Ying's smooth, unblemished neck. Someday, he will figure out how to take Wei Ying away from here so that he can claim him the way Wei Ying has already claimed him. They will belong to each other.

That night, he isn't surprised when Wei Ying doesn't come to his room, not with so many guests about. He is surprised when his brother shows up at his door though.

"Xiongzhang," Lan Wangji says, surprised. Lan Xichen's smile is strained.

"Wangji, may I come in? There's something I'd like to discuss with you."

Not exactly reassuring, but Lan Wangji has never had reason to fear his brother, so he steps aside and shows him to a table where Lan Xichen sits in silence as Lan Wangji prepares tea. Lan Xichen takes a long, measured sip before he speaks.

"I had heard that when the Jiang family of Yunmeng was forced to give Wen Ruohan a concubine in tribute, they sent their ward, Wei Wuxian," his brother says. Lan Wangji doesn't wince, but it's a near thing. "I remember when he came for the lecture with the prince and princess of Yunmeng." Lan Xichen gives him a knowing look. "And I remember how taken you were with him." Lan Wangji can feel his ears burning. Sometimes he hates how well his brother knows him.

"That was a long time ago," he says, for lack of anything else. He can't lie very well in the first place, but he especially can't lie to his brother.

"I see some things haven't changed," Lan Xichen says, tone soft and regretful. "Wangji, I won't ask you to confirm what I suspect. I saw enough from how you two looked at each other all evening." Lan Xichen takes another sip of his tea. "Wen Ruohan has heavily hinted that extending your stay here would curry great favor with him. He's made the same offer to the other provinces. I was already hesitant to accept it, but considering tonight, it's only reaffirmed my decision that bringing you back to Gusu is the right thing to do." The spark of hope that ignited at the thought that he could have a bit more time in Qishan, more time to figure out how to make sure that when he leaves Wei Ying can leave with him, shatters.

"Xiongzhang," he says, unable to keep the pained pleading from his voice. Lan Xichen closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, Lan Wangji recognizes the firm resolve in them.

"Wangji, there's more at stake here than you realize," Lan Xichen says carefully. "I want you back home, safe." Lan Wangji stares at his brother for a long moment, trying to parse out his words. He doesn't ask for clarification, not here in Qishan surrounded by enemies. He knows his brother has been planning something with Qinghe and Lanling and Yunmeng for a while now, slowly and carefully so as not to draw Wen Ruohan's attention, but the details have been kept even from him. He trusts his brother though.

"Okay," Lan Wangji says, even as cracks form in his heart.

Three days later when they leave, he doesn't get the chance to say goodbye to Wei Ying.

It's probably a good thing.

Probably.

(Lan Zhan pointedly ignores the sorrowful looks Lan Xichen keeps giving him as they ride away from Qishan. He will be strong for his people, for his brother.)

War is what his brother and the other kings have been planning. War against the tyranny of the Wen Empire of Qishan. It's a year and a half of bloody, brutal battles. Lan Wangji acts as one of his brother's generals, leading their soldiers into battles against the Wens' forces. He thinks often of Wei Ying, too often probably. He's acutely aware of the claim bite on his neck and wonders if Wei Ying is thinking of him too.

When the final assault on Nightless City comes, Lan Wangji is resting back in Gusu. His forces had found themselves facing unexpected reinforcements in their last battle. They came out victorious, but only just. Casualties were numerous and those who survived suffered many injuries, including Lan Wangji himself. He's just starting to get back into his normal training regiment when news arrives that Nie Mingjue is leading the assault on Nightless City with the intent of wiping out every last member of Wen Ruohan's clan. Lan Wangji thinks of Wei Ying trapped in the palace, thinks of him getting caught in the crossfire.

He rides hard for Qishan. By the time Nightless City comes into view there's smoke rising into the sky and the air is filled with screams. He makes for a narrow valley where Wei Ying once told him of a secret passage intended for escape. He doesn't know where it is or how to open it, but it's this or try and ride through the chaos of the battle taking place in the city. He won't be much use to Wei Ying if he gets himself killed in crossfire.

As he crests the top of the valley, Lan Wangji looks down and sees two figures already making their way away from Nightless City, dressed in black and red. Lan Wangji recognizes Wei Ying immediately, would know him even if he were blind. The other figure is familiar to him as well, one of the only friends Wei Ying has managed to make in Nightless City. Wen Qionglin is the younger brother of one of Qishan's best doctors, Wen Qing, a soft spoken young man with a talent for archery. He carries a sword now, looking nervously around as he escorts Wei Ying away from the danger. Lan Wangji is just starting to relax when he catches movement from the corner of his eye across the narrow valley. His eyes find golden robed soldiers. If he were closer, Lan Wangji knows he would see the sparks-amidst-snow peony of the Jin clan. There are two archers, each with an arrow already knocked. Lan wangji doesn't think. He pulls his own bow from his back, fits an arrow to it, and takes down the first archer. Before the second one has time to react, he's dead as well. Lan Wangji looks down into the valley and sees Wei Ying looking back at him. Quickly, he leads his horse down and leaps from the saddle, ignoring the twinge of pain in his recently healed leg.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying breathes. He looks awful, pale and tired and shaking.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says. He steps closer and that's when he realizes that Wei Ying is holding a child. A baby not yet a year old. His breath hitches. "Wei Ying..." Wei Ying's smile is exhausted, but just as soft and beautiful as Lan Wangji remembers.

"Lan Zhan, I knew you'd come for us," Wei Ying says and Lan Wangji knows that he isn't talking about Wen Qionglin, who watches them cautiously, grip tight on his sword. Wei Ying puts a hand on his friend's arm. "It's alright, Wen Ning. Lan Zhan will keep me safe." Wen Qionglin observes Lan Wangji for a long moment, then nods to himself. He turns and bows to Wei Ying.

"Then I'll leave you in his care, Wei-gongzi," Wen Qionglin says. Wei Ying frowns, receiving a smile in return. "I have to go back for my sister." Wei ying sighs.

"I know." Wei Ying briefly places his hand on Wen Qionglin's cheek. "Be careful."

"I'll do my best." Wen Qionglin bows to Lan Wangji, then turns back to the city. Wei Ying watches him go, expression filled with grief.

"I don't know what I would have done all these years without Wen Qing and Wen Ning," he says softly. "They looked out for me, almost treated me like their brother." Lan Wangji wrap an arm around him and finds his gaze transfixed on the child in Wei Ying's arms, blinking sleepily up at him with familiar eyes. He reminds himself that there's still a war being fought in Nightless City. There could be more Jin soldiers around or others that wouldn't think twice about killing Wei Ying and the child. Anything to ensure Wen Ruohan's entire family ends here.

"Let's go," Lan Wangji says and guides Wei Ying over to his horse.

As it turns out, the invading forces of the other provinces hadn't been the greatest danger to Wei Ying. That had been Wen Ruohan himself. When it became clear that the battle was not in his favor, Wen Ruohan gathered his concubines together. They thought they were being taken somewhere safe, somewhere they would be protected until the battle was over.

Then the guards lining the edges of the room drew their swords and Wei Ying knew they weren’t meant to walk out of that room. Wen Ruohan was possessive of his concubines. If he couldn’t have them, no one could. Wei Ying isn’t sure how he managed to escape. Chaos had erupted in screams and blood as Wen Ruohan sat imperiously in the center of the room and watched his personal guard kill without mercy. Somehow, the door to the inner sanctum of the palace was unlocked. Wei Ying suspects Wen Qionglin knew of Wen Ruohan’s plan. He had been nearby when Wei Ying stumbled out of the room, clutching his screaming child to his chest.

Wei Ying tells Lan Wangji all of this in Gusu, in the safety of Lan Wangji’s private residence, the Jingshi. He’s dressed in borrowed white and blue robes from Lan Wangji’s own wardrobe. They’re of a similar height, but Lan Wangji is broader, his robes slipping slightly down Wei Ying’s shoulder. Lan Wangji fixes it and Wei Ying hums an absent thank you, attention focused on the baby.

“What is his name?” Lan Wangji asks. He hasn’t had time to. He’s been focused on getting Wei Ying back to Gusu and keeping him and the child safe. Wei Ying looks up at him.

“A-Yuan,” he says. “Our son’s name is A-Yuan.” Lan Wangji’s breath leaves him in a shaky exhale. Their son. He had known. He’d known the moment he’d looked down at A-Yuan and seen the shape of his own eyes looking back at him. “Here.” Gently, Wei Ying shifts A-Yuan into Lan Wangji’s arms. Lan Wangji holds his son reverently.

“Our son,” he whispers. Then he frowns at Wei Ying. “How…” Wei Ying hears the question he’s not asking.

“I told you, Wen Ruohan liked to look at me, but otherwise he never paid me much attention,” Wei Ying says. “He heard I was in heat while he was gone and thought I still was when he came back. Wen Qing knew you were with me during my heat, so just to be safe she gave me an herbal tea that mimicked heat symptoms. When I realized I was pregnant, he just assumed it must be his.” Lan Wangji’s shoulder slump, just the slightest bit, in relief. If Wen Ruohan paid a little more attention, perhaps he might have realized that something was off.

“You’re safe now,” Lan Wangji says not for the first time. He’s been saying it the entire journey back to Gusu. “You and A-Yuan. I will make sure of it.” Wei Ying smiles, stepping closer to rest his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder.

They marry in spring, trees and flowers blooming all across cloud recesses. Jiang Wanyin, newly ascended to the throne after his father’s death in the war, grumbles about it.

“Don’t take it to heart,” Wei Ying says cheerfully as he cleans paint from A-Yuan’s chubby little hands. He's taken an interest in painting lately that Wei Ying enthusiastically encourages. “I’m pretty sure if Jiang Cheng doesn’t have something to complain about he’ll die.”

“Would you prefer to marry at Lotus Pier?” Lan Wangji asks. He’s asked this before. Wei Ying laughs.

“Lan Zhan, the wedding is tomorrow,” he says. “We are not moving it to Lotus Pier. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m perfectly happy to get married in Cloud Recesses.” He checks A-Yuan’s hands for any lingering paint, then rises and comes to wrap his arms around Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji buries his nose in Wei Ying’s neck, nosing along the unblemished skin there. Now that Wei Ying is no longer trapped in Qishan, he could sink his teeth in and leave a claim bite there. Wei Ying goes still in his arms. Lan Wangji presses a kiss to the spot he wants to bite and lifts his head. He doesn’t blame Wei Ying for being hesitant to complete the bond. He spent nearly six year as a prisoner in Qishan. Lan Wangji will be patient and wait as long as needed.

His uncle had been horrified when Lan Wangji had finally admitted to his year-long affair in Qishan with Wei Ying and the child he had fathered outside of marriage. The only thing that had saved them from his uncle’s wrath was the claim bite on Lan Wangji’s neck. It’s enough- barely- to legitimize both their relationship and their son, but Lan Qiren had made it clear that marriage better be in their future.

Lan Xichen had been easier. After all, he already saw with his own eyes the connection Wei Ying and Lan Wangji share. He was delighted to be introduced to his nephew and took immediately to being an uncle.

Lan Wangji searches Wei Ying’s expression carefully. “You would tell me if you are unhappy?” he asks, far more tentative than he would like. Lan Wangji doesn’t normally do tentative. Wei Ying smiles, full of love. Lan Wangji feels a tug on his robes and looks down to see A-Yuan frowning up at them, arms extended in a silent request to be picked up. Lan Wangji doesn’t even hesitate to indulge him. Wei Ying leans in to press a kiss to the crown of their son’s head, then looks at lan Wangji, eyes sparkling with joy.

“Lan Zhan,” he says, “I have never been happier.”

#the untamed #mdzs #wangxian #my fic #behold my latest brain child #I might flesh this out more today

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veliseraptor · 4 years

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he xuan's actions were justified

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

see, this is one of those things where I’m like...”justified” isn’t how I engage with this arc or with most stories in general? I find the question of whether someone feels they were justified, or why they believe they were, to be more interesting than the question of whether something was ‘’’actually’’’ justified or not. and I think especially in the context of the Black Water arc, justification is actually really beside the point.

big disclaimer!!! that this is textual analysis of a sort and I am working from amateur translations only so like. I am constantly aware of the fact that I could be misreading things completely and it feels sort of borderline irresponsible of me to try to in-depth thematic analyze a text I can’t access except in translation.

I was talking to @orodrethsgeek the other day about how it feels to me like MXTX really has a thing going on about the cycle of revenge(/abuse) and the futility of that cycle, the way it never leads anywhere, the way it always destroys everyone involved. vengeance in MXTX is not actually, I don’t think, ever a good thing. no matter who is doing it, no matter why.

(this came up specifically in context of talking about how Luo Binghe recapitulating his abuse back against Shen Qingqiu is not, like, ~empowerment fantasy~ but actually also! kinda bad! and like. not saying empowerment fantasies about de-limbing your abusers are inherently a bad thing or whatever, but I am saying that I think MXTX is suspicious, at best, of revenge plots, and they always, always come with collateral damage.

(there’s a great post somewhere about this with respect to Mo Xuanyu and Nie Huaisang but of course I can’t find it now.)

anyway, what I’m saying here is that if we accept (as I do) that one of MXTX’s thematic bugbears is “revenge and retaliation is never good, actually” but also one of her concerns is very much around justice and fairness and abuse of power, then the Black Water arc sort of...brings all those things together into a big knotty tragedy of well this all just kinda sucks.

where it isn’t about who is right or wrong in a definitive way, but sort of...when and where people might’ve been, and why people make the bad choices they do, often out of the best intentions or emotions. Shi Wudu destroys He Xuan’s life to save Shi Qingxuan’s. He Xuan makes his life’s purpose taking revenge on behalf of his family who died because of Shi Wudu’s actions. they are both acting on behalf of someone they love and out of love.

what’s interesting, I think, is the fact that the one person who is present actively rejects Shi Wudu’s justification and argument. Shi Qingxuan’s reaction to finding out what Shi Wudu did on their behalf is to try to reject it, which at least on some level weakens Shi Wudu’s “I did it for you” argument, which in turn I think invites by implication the question of what He Xuan’s dead family would want themselves. that goes unanswered, but the fact that achieving his goal (avenging his family) seemingly didn’t release He Xuan’s ghost...says to me he’s not finding it as fulfilling as he thought.

Shi Wudu’s theft of He Xuan’s fate was a horrible thing. Shi Qingxuan recognizes this immediately and reacts by trying to turn their back on the heavens entirely (and is prevented from doing so by Shi Wudu). He Xuan’s revenge plot of centuries? also a bad thing. it is, I think, pretty clear that He Xuan’s vengeance doesn’t really satisfy him, and that what happens to Shi Qingxuan in particular doesn’t seem to sit very comfortably with him. (unintended consequences of revenge! see also: Yi City, tbh.)

the whole thing is messy and ugly and sad and I don’t think anyone is supposed to come out of it looking very good.

now, if you’re asking if I have sympathy for He Xuan’s life choices: yes, absolutely. He Xuan, have fun with your beheading, I’ll make you lunch for after. but that has nothing to do with whether he’s justified or not.

#lord i went on #dysfunctional gods and ghost kinks #he xuan #lise does meta #lise memes #anonymous #conversating #unpopular opinions meme

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

Text

Silver Mist - part 2/3 - ao3 or tumblr pt 1

warning: adult content, read the ao3 tags

From then on, Nie Huaisang made a habit of going to his brother’s room every evening to unbraid his hair, which his brother permitted with more outward grumbling than actual resistance. It helped that Nie Mingjue had very obviously missed Nie Huaisang just as much – well, maybe not as much – as Nie Huaisang had missed him in return; he was happy, now that the war was over, to find reasons to spend more time together.

“Would da-ge like me to come by in the morning, too?” Nie Huaisang asked one evening. “I could do your hair then, too – better and prettier than you ever do!”

“Do you think you even can wake up that early?” Nie Mingjue asked, grunting as Nie Huaisang worked his hand up and down his cock. His da-ge’s hands were bound behind his back to keep him from interfering – Nie Huaisang had introduced that just a few days back, another small modification, and his brother had acceded to it beautifully, all those Nie sect lessons about self-control and fearsome tempers working wonders to dupe his mind into seeing it as a reasonable precaution rather than purely an instrument for Nie Huaisang’s pleasure. “I get up every morning to train, don’t forget.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Nie Huaisang said, mentally resigning himself to a few irritating days or even weeks of getting up early to cross the hallway to his brother’s room. In time, of course, he would suggest that it would be easier for him to simply stay overnight, and the morning braids could be turned into morning delight – patience, Huaisang, he scolded himself, have patience.

It was difficult, though. His brother was so good to him.

He waited until Nie Mingjue was just on the edge of coming, then hummed that very particular stanza – his brother cried out, pleasure flooding through him, and sank into the quiet all at once, the post-orgasm languor seamlessly merging with the artificial relaxation of Nie Huaisang’s spell. It was important in these early days to reinforce the trance state as much as possible, to make it seem welcoming and relaxing, to associate it with good feelings. After all, if he were going to start playing more dangerous games, he would need to be able to pull his da-ge back into that state quickly and cleanly, to avoid any disruption to his brother’s mental state.

Any lasting disruption, anyway.

“You’ve been doing so good, da-ge,” he said encouragingly, petting his brother’s hair. His brother’s eyes were so beautiful like this, blank and accepting. “I think we’re just about ready to take the next step, don’t you? Get on your knees. Huaisang will show you what you need to do.”

He ended up needing to resort to the command sooner than he’d expected.

It was his own fault, really. He’d been so busy thinking about all the wonderful things he could do in the future when his da-ge was properly his that he’d forgotten that his da-ge had some very annoying habits, especially early in the morning.

“Since you’re already awake, you can join me for morning training,” Nie Mingjue said, his hair already fully braided – he must have gotten up especially early – with a broad grin; he twirled Nie Huaisang’s saber pointedly at Nie Huaisang, who scowled in return, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He preferred to sleep late whenever possible, had forced himself to make the sacrifice of getting up early, and now this?

It wasn’t that he minded his da-ge’s pestering, not really. He knew it was one of the way his da-ge showed him that he loved him, all that scolding really just a mask for his concern for Nie Huaisang’s well-being, and unlike that incipient interpersonal disaster brewing over in the Jiang sect he, at least, knew how accept a bit of sour with his sweet. But on the very first day?

Nie Huaisang was a Nie, too, you know. He also had a temper.

He hummed.

Nie Mingjue’s movement stuttered, and he paused, his eyes slowly starting to blank out, but Nie Huaisang didn’t finish the stanza, not in full. “On your knees,” he ordered.

“Huaisang?” his da-ge asked, looking confused, but his body obeyed, dropping down onto the floor, just as Nie Huaisang had taught him, his hands locking onto his wrists behind his back. “Huaisang, what…? What are you doing?”

“Getting undressed, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said. “You’re not going to be able to suck my cock through my clothing, are you?”

“Your – what?!”

Nie Huaisang’s canines were sometimes a little sharper than most people, and he bared them at his disobedient da-ge now with a fox’s smile. “It’s not very nice of you to ambush me like that,” he said, pushing aside his clothing and leaving himself bare and hard in front of his da-ge. “Scolding me about my saber training first thing in the morning? You should put your mouth to better use.”

“Huaisang! You can’t – we can’t –”

“I want to see you choke yourself on my cock,” Nie Huaisang said conversationally, and Nie Mingjue leaned forward and took him into his mouth, his eyes wide and round. He was bad at it, quite frankly: other than the brief teaching lesson the day before, it was fairly obvious that he’d never sucked cock before. He went too fast, hitting his gag reflex and sending tears to his eyes, but Nie Huaisang never claimed to be anything other than petty and vindictive when crossed. “Do you like that, da-ge? You like sucking your didi’s cock?”

Nie Mingjue made a noise of protest.

“No? Are you sure? Look at how eager you are. Look at how you use your tongue on me, how you try to take more than you can handle, like you’d die if you didn’t pleasure me.” Nie Mingjue was visibly struggling now, unable to stop his mouth from moving or release his hands from behind his back no matter how much he tried. “I bet you’re hard. Do you like being hard for me?”

Of course Nie Mingjue was hard. Nie Huaisang had put it in the instructions the day before – had painstakingly taken the time to associate the feeling of Nie Mingjue touching himself just the way he liked it with the feeling of Nie Huaisang’s cock on his tongue, so that one sensation would instantly recall the other.

“You can touch yourself,” he added, and Nie Mingjue’s hands finally released from behind his back at last – but they went to do Nie Huaisang’s bidding, not to push him away the way Nie Mingjue had clearly intended. “Don’t come until I say you can.”

He put his hands on his brother’s head, the gesture far from a massage this time, and started fucking his brother’s face. “Maybe this’ll teach you to be nicer to me,” he scolded – but gently, most of his irritation already abated in the wake of his excitement and pleasure. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak, spilling into his brother’s mouth with a grunt and watching with pleasure as his brother obediently swallowed all that he could and licked up what he couldn’t. “Good boy, da-ge. Well done.”

“Huaisang,” his brother rasped, looking up at him with pleading eyes, one hand still working himself hard and fast, the other tucked down to cup his balls. “Huaisang, what did I do…? What have I done to you…?”

“Oh, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, his heart growing warm. Even now, after this, his brother blamed himself before he blamed Nie Huaisang – if that wasn’t love, what was? “Don’t worry. I’ll make it all better.”

He hummed the rest of the stanza, watching the remaining threads of awareness fade away.

“You can come,” he said, and smiled when it only took a few more strokes for his brother to finish. “Forget everything that happened this morning. It was just a bad dream you had, the details of which are unimportant and already gone – except maybe for a slight unpleasant association with surprising me with morning saber training. When you wake up, it’ll be just as it was before I first walked in.”

He walked out of the door and broke the connection, firmed up his resolve, and went back in to get dragged outside for morning saber training, which was the worst.

Still, all things considered, Nie Huaisang felt that he’d gotten out ahead.

Sniggering at his own pun, he lifted up his saber and dragged himself through all the old routines, watching with an indulgent smile as his brother enthusiastically jumped around, barking out suggestions for improvement and correcting his form.

Yes, he thought happily to himself. This is good.

And it’s going to get even better.

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, and his brother looked at him in question. “Are you a virgin?”

“What type of stupid question is that?” Nie Mingjue asked with a glare, and Nie Huaisang held up his hands in a protestation of innocence.

They were at the private baths today, the little grotto with its own hot spring that was reserved for the exclusive use of the Nie clan. Just as the Lan sect had its much-prized Cold Spring, the Nie sect had an entire network of hot springs, with various locations scattered throughout the Unclean Realm. The temperatures of the springs varied from warm to near-boiling, and the water in each one was rich with minerals that cultivators required to strengthen themselves; unlike the Lan sect, the Nie sect believed in rewards as well as discipline, and each spring was stocked full with all sorts of soaps and creams to help ease sore muscles, toughen bone and sinew, or even enhance mental fortitude. They were excellent places to cultivate as well as bathe, and were accordingly extremely popular with the disciples, whether Nie sect disciples or guest disciples who had earned an invitation.

Naturally, the one reserved for the Nie clan was the finest of the lot, and Nie Huaisang loved it dearly. As a member of the Nie clan, he was allowed in as often as he liked and he took full advantage of the privilege, ignoring his brother’s occasional complaints that the baths were meant to supplement cultivation, not replace it. He knew his brother didn’t mean it, that he was happy with anything that would help Nie Huaisang improve – indeed, that he’d been very happy with the extent of Nie Huaisang’s recent improvement, which Nie Huaisang had ascribed to a sudden bout of enlightenment in connection to one of his meditation techniques.

There had been no such enlightenment, of course, but he wasn’t about to tell Nie Mingjue that the improvement in his cultivation came from all of cock-sucking he’d been doing – and receiving – lately, his da-ge’s vigorous yang energy strengthening him much more than he’d anticipated.

(It was because he held his brother’s heart in his hand, he realized, and belatedly understood why his mother’s voice had taught him all those tricks to get people to fall in love. The stories said that the nine-tailed fox spirits enticed men to be their lovers until they lost their souls, and only then devoured them – Nie Huaisang could see why, if the yield was so much greater.)

And that was all just from hands and mouths so far! He was sure that the results would be even more impressive once they started dual cultivation in earnest.

Which was the plan today, in fact, except right before they’d been about to begin he’d thought of the question he had asked, interrupting the flow of things.

Even now, Nie Mingjue was crouched in front of him on the ledge near the pool, his large legs splayed apart and Nie Huaisang’s cock nudging at his well-stretched entrance – he’d had him fingering himself for the last ten minutes straight, convincing Nie Mingjue that it was a natural and normal thing to be doing in the bath with his brother, who was clearly far too busy chattering about nonsense to notice; he had wanted the first time he entered his brother to be with his cock, and anyway he loved a good show.

“I’m just curious, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, pouting exaggeratedly until his brother rolled his eyes in amusement. “Won’t you tell me? I thought you told me that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It isn’t,” Nie Mingjue said crossly – he was often cross, these days, even though Nie Huaisang was doing such a good job of helping him work out his anger through the regular and routine application of pleasure. “It’s a stupid idea, that’s what it is. Experience is experience, inexperience, inexperience; there’s nothing more to it than that. And yet people assign value to it, even condemnation in the case of women –”

“Yes, yes,” Nie Huaisang said, interrupting before his brother could get carried away on yet another rant about the foibles of the cultivation world and how it treated the female victims that had survived the Wen sect with lives but not chastity intact. It was one of the many subjects his brother was taking issue with against Jin Guangshan, who wanted to be Chief Cultivator – as far as Nie Huaisang was concerned, the odious man could do as he liked with the title, but he understood why his brother was so upset about some of his policy decisions. Certainly a slut like Jin Guangshan had no business telling any woman that they couldn’t marry because they’d been involuntarily despoiled. “I know, you’ve told me already. But that doesn’t answer the question, da-ge. Are you a virgin?”

His fingers slid causally in the form of a hand seal, encouraging complaisance – he couldn’t always be humming his brother into a trance, after all! Sometimes one needed to be a bit more subtle.

“If I tell you, can I sit down already?” his brother asked, long-suffering. “I’ve had enough of your games.”

“You can never have enough of my games,” Nie Huaisang said, smiling his fox’s smile. “But yes, da-ge, it’s a deal – just remember to go slow. Now, tell me.”

“Fine. Whatever,” his da-ge said, and grunted a little as he started lowering himself down on Nie Huisang’s cock. “Yes, I’m a virgin. As it happens.”

“Really?” Nie Huaisang said, swallowing and wetting his lips, resisting the stimulation. “But da-ge is so handsome. You really haven’t taken a woman to bed before?”

“Too much trouble,” Nie Mingjue said. “All the fuss and bother of finding a suitable female cultivator who wouldn’t feel pressured by my position, or ambitious for a place as my wife, and then there’s the risk of pregnancy… it didn’t seem worth it.”

“What about men, then?” Nie Huaisang asked. He watched as his cock slowly disappeared, bit by bit, into his brother’s body. “No risk of pregnancy there, and most of them wouldn’t think of marriage.”

“No,” Nie Mingjue said, panting a little. “Huaisang, do we really have to sit here? It’s a little uncomfortable –”

“We’re just sitting in the baths, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang reminded him, reinforcing the message with a hand seal and a bit of spiritual energy. “It’s not like we’re doing anything strange. Just sitting and relaxing, that’s all. Nothing else. Any discomfort you have will pass once you’ve adjusted.”

“Right,” his da-ge said, and pushed himself the rest of the way down with a grunt. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

Nie Huaisang’s lips twitched. “It’s just the heat, I’m sure,” he said ironically, and put his hands on his da-ge’s hips. The sensation of penetration wasn’t new to him, of course, but there was a thrill of pleasure to be had in being balls-deep inside his own brother while he told him how much of a virgin he thought he still was. “You train so much; I bet you have all sorts of muscle cramps that are just now finally relaxing. If you feel any more discomfort, it’s probably just that.”

It was important, he felt, to guide his brother into these things slowly – the enchantment he’d cast was strong, especially with how often he’d repeated it and how open and trusting his brother was towards him, but in the end it was still only an enchantment; his brother could still break free and recover himself if there was something he found too strange, too sudden, too much. Far better to gradually accustom Nie Mingjue to the sensation of having a cock inside of him – or getting his own cock inside of someone else, for that matter – before Nie Huaisang started taking him to his bed on the regular.

“So, why not men?” he asked, picking up the earlier thread of conversation. “It seems to avoid most of the issues you raised, and I know you like men, too.”

“Not the issue about finding a proper partner,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh. “I’m Sect Leader Nie before I’m anything else – the men in the Nie sect are loyal to me, required to obey me, and after I took the mantle of general in the Sunshot Campaign, many of the other sects feel the same. Who’s to say that someone wouldn’t feel obligated to say yes, even if they didn’t actually want to…? I couldn’t do that.”

You’re a better man than me, Nie Huaisang thought. I want my ‘yes’ no matter how I have to get it.

“Did you ever like any of them?” he asked, and his brother scowled at him. “You did! Was it san-ge? You liked him so much when he was with us.”

“It was,” his brother reluctantly admitted. “Don’t get any ideas, though; that was in the past! Anyway, in his case, it would have been even worse, wouldn’t it? There were already so many rumors about his background. Imagine what people would say if they thought we were lovers!”

“People already thought you were lovers,” Nie Huaisang said dryly.

“All the more reason not to encourage them, then.”

“Mm, I suppose da-ge has a point,” Nie Huaisang said. “You’ll have no choice but to stay with me forever.”

Nie Mingjue huffed and ruffled his hair, making a face when the movement changed the angle a little. ��Whatever you say, didi,” he said, indulgent as he was only towards Nie Huaisang. “Now, do you want to meditate a little?”

Nie Huaisang considered it. “Yes,” he finally said. “That’s a good idea. I’ll meditate, and you’ll warm my cock.”

“What was that?” Nie Mingjue said, lips twisting into a scowl. “I didn’t quite hear that last part.”

“I’m agreeing to meditate,” Nie Huaisang said innocently. Instructing his da-ge to immediately forget anything that drew his attention to their current situation had clearly been the right choice; it made this all the more fun. “Just like you suggested.”

“You’re being remarkably cooperative these days,” Nie Mingjue said. “It makes me think you’re up to something.”

“Me? No way, da-ge. I’m far too lazy to scheme.”

“Not if it’s something you really want, you aren’t.”

Nie Huaisang, seen, smiled. “I suppose so. How do you feel right now, da-ge? Physically.”

Nie Mingjue considered the question with the seriousness of a man with a great deal of concern for his health, and many people asking him about it. “Good,” he finally said.

“Full?” Nie Huaisang asked, moving his hips a little to fuck up a bit into Nie Mingjue, who let out a small, involuntary moan.

“Yeah,” Nie Mingjue said, biting his lip a little. “Yeah, full. Kind of – stretched? Not in a bad way. Like when you’re cultivating and you draw in too much qi all at once, but a bit more… physical.”

“If you want to get yourself off, I wouldn’t mind,” Nie Huaisang said comfortingly. “I’m going to meditate, after all. It’ll be as if I’m not paying any attention to you at all.”

“Maybe I will,” Nie Mingjue said, his cheeks flushing red – even after all that work to convince him that this was something he could do without shame, something he should do, he still got all embarrassed when they talked about it. He was so cute! “You meditate. I want to see a noticeable improvement in your strength by the end of the week, you hear me?”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Nie Huaisang said honestly, and settled in to watch his da-ge touch himself, jerking himself off in that casual and efficient manner he had when he thought he was all alone. He could feel the effect of it already, spiritual energy flowing through his meridians and condensing in his core – dual cultivation was going to be amazing, he just knew it.

“You like the feeling, the one you can’t quite put your finger on right now,” he murmured, letting his words flow right into his brother’s head while he was distracted by pleasure. “It feels good to you, makes you feel secure, happy. Gets you feeling hot. One day, I’m going to make you need it, crave it, beg me for it – I’ll come into your office where you do all the work and you’ll be shifting around anxiously, unsure of what it is that you need, and that’s when I’ll give it to you. I won’t even make you beg me. I’ll fuck you over your own desk, come inside you, plug you up and leave you like that.”

Nie Mingjue might not pay any attention to his words, but he sure noticed it when Nie Huaisang bucked his hips up, fucking up into him; he gasped, leaned forward, and braced himself on Nie Huaisang’s shoulders.

“I’ll have you in the main hall on the throne,” Nie Huaisang said dreamily. “I’ll ride you until you’re weak at the knees and then have you suck me off, and then we’ll invite in our guests, no one the wiser that you’ve got my come in your mouth and yours in my ass. I’ll grow strong, da-ge, until you don’t need to worry about me so much – until I can hold you down. Until I can make you need me.”

“Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue muttered, his eyes hazy as he worked himself. “Shut up. You’re supposed to be meditating.”

Nie Huaisang pressed his lips together and smiled, watching his brother finish in his hand, instinctively fucking himself down on Nie Huaisang’s cock to get more of what felt so good.

“Actually, da-ge, I think I found something that I think will help my cultivation even more,” he said conversationally once his brother had somewhat recovered, and as expected his brother turned bright eyes to him. “Here, put your hand on my belly – aren’t I stronger already?”

“You are,” Nie Mingjue said, surprised. “Even compared to this morning! Not much, but definitely something – you must be very compatible with this new cultivation technique you’ve found.”

“I heard it was one that my mother used to use,” Nie Huaisang said, and it wasn’t even a lie. His mother had always liked Nie Mingjue, from the stories he’d heard; he was perhaps the only one of all the people in the Unclean Realm that she actually liked, and Nie Mingjue paid back her affection by loyally ignoring all of the speculation and whispers about her – he didn’t question it. “I’m having some trouble picking up the technique fully, though; you know how I am. Could I ask you to help me with it?”

“Certainly,” his brother said, reaching out to ruffle his hair affectionately. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you making progress.”

“It needs a lot of practice, though,” Nie Huaisang said, widening his eyes and pouting. “Lots and lots of practice – will da-ge help keep me on track?”

“Like I do your saber training?” Nie Mingjue said dryly.

“Well, I’m more compatible with this one,” Nie Huaisang said, ducking his head to hide his grin. “If da-ge agrees to help, I promise I’ll do my best to practice as often as da-ge recommends.”

“We’ll see how long that lasts,” Nie Mingjue remarked with – admittedly justified cynicism. “All right. What’s the cultivation technique? I’ll help however I can.”

“Let me show you,” Nie Huaisang said, and rolled them both over. “Put your hands on the beam there above your head – yes, perfect – spread your legs a bit more, tilt your hips up…”

He pulled out and thrust in hard, punching out a fucked-out little exhale from his da-ge that he rather liked the sound of, so he did it again, and again, and again, until he was really getting into it.

“Look at that, da-ge,” he said sweetly. “I’m working up a real sweat. Isn’t that good?”

His brother didn’t respond, of course. Fucking him like this, after he’d just come, was overstimulating him to the extreme, reducing him down to little mewls and whimpers and breathy punched-out sighs as he spread his legs wider and tried so very sweetly to encourage him to keep up the good work.

Somehow, Nie Huaisang thought he’d be able to defy his brother’s expectations and actually stick to whatever training regime his brother put together for him this time.

Somehow.

Clearly, all he’d ever needed was the right incentive.

#mdzs #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #niecest #my fic #my fics #silver mist #nie sect worldbuilding #why it shows up in my smut I don't know

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