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#i love my wife i only want to see him commit mass murder
hiemaldesirae · 6 months
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Arrax here; I want Vox's full out demon form to be some horrifying eldritch being, like...I dunno maybe Vox's form is Vox's electricity--omly his, his Cyan electricity that the city uses.
Like, Vox gets shot with an angelic bullet and he falls. Everyone thinks he's dead, and yest Vox's employees are still fighting. The Vox's screen lights up, as does every single screen in the surrounding area, and you hear this draconic, viscous snarl and using all 8 screens that are around him, fully demonic Vox breaks out, and he terrifies everyone.
oh, thats a very interesting concept!!. my favourite ever FULL full demon form of vox comes from RHTVS, where he has (technically...) two full demon forms, one as a giant white electricity beast and another being like this giant kaiju mecha
i have seen gorgeous depictions of voxs demon form such as a giant mecha-shark hybrid, but i like imagining him close to the devils from csm. (actually, this kind of correlates with your hc too)
something like a cross between the gun devil and the falling devil, where he's still somewhere "close" to an approximation of a human body (bc for some reason, vox just strikes me as the type of person to cling onto what human parts of himself he still has. might just be me tho), but built up of a mixture of mechanical wires, electricity, and the souls under his contracts. id imagine like the gun devil, many many many fucking television screens would be incorporated onto his body.
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also, in the situation youve posed, i cant help but imagine a scenario where vox never told anyone about this form before, and everyone (even the vees!) truly thought he might be dead for a moment, the power around hells pride ring slowly flickering and crashing as his opponents revel in having taken down one of prides top overlords- before they start screaming. limbs start to burn from an overwhelming amount of static electricity in the air, a smell of ozone and burnt bits wafting through the streets of the entertainment district as vox reaches forward with arms constructed of pure electricity and strings of wiring, pulling forward until he stands up, form flickering with static and power. every broadcast flicks on, and the unfortunate sinners too weak to resist the pulls of their screen are pulled in toward him until he consumes them too, fueling him with only more ammunition for the fires.
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heaven4lostgirls · 2 years
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You’re my happy place
husband!elijah mikaelson x wife!fem!reader
tags: fluff, happy ending, soft!elijah
a/n: if u guys even read this pls pls pls send me requests for fics u want me to write!! ok enjoy<3
You had spent the entire day at the compound waiting for Elijah and Nik to get back. They had gone on some stupid witch hunt again because Nik believed that the witches were plotting against him as usual.
You sat on the floor of the compound playing with baby hope when you hear the hurried footsteps of the two brothers and the stench of blood nearly made you vomit on the spot.
You hurriedly put Hope back in her cot before running to see if anyone was hurt. Nik looked like he had just committed mass murder but by the look in his eyes you knew better than to ask him what had happened. All you did was beckon hun closer and take a look to see if any of his injuries were major, thankfully he just looked like he had a bruised ego.
To the left of his Elijah stood in a ski liar state however he seemed to be clutching his side. You knew whenever Nik would put himself in dangerous situations your idiot of a husband would not be far behind, always looking out for his little brother.
You made your way to him slowly whilst looking over him to see if anywhere else seemed to be causing him pain, once it looked like his side was the only place he seemed to be clutching you sighed in relief.
As you reached him you carefully placed your hands on his face, he seemed to be avoiding your eyes and you somehow knew exactly why.
“Is that blood Eli?” You questioned harshly, you knew that when you both moved to New Orleans that the witch community wasn’t exactly fond of the Mikaelson family however the lacerations on Elijahs side didn’t seem to be healing and this has been an all time low for them, never had the witches hurt them so badly they couldn’t heal it. You were on relatively good terms with all of the witches however seeing your husband in this state all you could hear was your heart pounding and your blood boiling.
Elijah looks almost embarrassed as he utters a small “No?” You sigh and shake your head with a small smile, your husband would always be the one trying to make you laugh even if he did seem like he was bleeding out.
“That isn’t normally a question you answer with another question darling” all he does is smile back innocently.
“Cmon let’s get you cleaned up” you motion for him to sit on the couch as Hayley ends up attending to Nik as he grumbled about the ‘stupid witches’. You just sigh and look at Elijah pointedly
“You can’t keep running head first into ever fight that Nik picks so you can save him, it’s not safe” you tell him as you brush his hair out of his face to clean the small scratches surrounding his eyes.
“I know my love, he’s my brother, I simply can’t let him get himself in trouble, I made a vow to my mother to always protect him and it is what I plan to do as long as I’m alive, alongside you of course” you can’t help but smile at his loyalty to his family, you know it hasn’t been easy for him and Nik to gain back their mutual trust of one another especially after decades of daggers and heartbreak however for the most part they seem to have moved past all of that.
“I love you Eli, I can’t stand to see you hurt” He can feel your worry and although he and you both know he will continue to put himself in harms way to save Nik he hugs you and mumbles affirmations that he will try harder and be safer when he travels with Nik. You can’t ask for much more and you know that so as you both make your way to Freya’s room so that she can heal Eli’s wounds you squeeze his hand as a reminder he’s okay and Freya will most likely know how to heal him.
After the quick visit of Freya healing his wounds and researching about the kind of magic used by the witches that was somehow strong enough to hurt an original you both lay in you shared room.
“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we were never turned?” You turn to him in confusion, you had been one of the first vampires that Elijah had turned after his mother had used to spell however even after decades of being together you always thought that you were both content with how life was. “Sometimes, but I am quite happy with how we are right now…Are you not?” You admit and question almost insecurely.
As if Elijah has read your thoughts he backtracks “No no no, my love I just meant that I would have wished for us to have a family of our own, little children for us to take care of and I am sorry that I can’t give that to you” you feel tears welling up at the thought of what your life could have been. You grasp Elijah’s face in your hands and assure him that you are perfectly happy with how things have played out.
“Even if you hadn’t turned me with you Elijah I would have been heartbroken to see you outlive me, you have been my rock and compass our entire lives, seeing you daggered by Niklaus only ever brought great heartache to me, so please don’t think for a moment that this life has not been more than enough, I will always choose you over and over again my love” You can feel his smile as you rest your head on his chest.
“Do you remember the 20’s? Where we had gone to that jazz club with Niklaus? We had just changed our names and anytime someone spoke to us we would make up elaborate stories of where we came from, we spent the entire night dancing and once we got home you told me that you loved me and that you wish we could have had that life-“
“You proposed to me that night and promised you would show me the world”
“I plan to keep that promise everyday we have each other”
“I love you Elijah Mikaelson”
“I love you more Y/N Y/L/N”
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808airsoftbros · 1 year
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My Wives Reaction to You Getting Harrassed at Work (Haseul/Vivi/Yeojin/Nana/Miyeon)
Author: Suddenly felt inspired to write this after listening to a creepypasta story. Anyway hope you enjoy and if you want to check out more of my works do go to the Masterlist :)
Cho Haseul
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You were being bullied by your co-worker and your manager was doing nothing about it since he was his son
Being the mother of the family she wouldn't tolerate such treatment for her loved one
"What?! Let me talk to your boss!"
Would confront the manager or the main corporate office no matter how much you begged her not to
At first your manager would laugh at her until he realized that your wife was a famous kpop Idol
In just a split second, he was on his knees begging her not to expose the company and what was going on behind the scenes
"P-Please don't report this! I need this job to pay for my rent! I'm sorry not only I'll fire my son! I'll give him a raise or hell even a promotion!"
In the end, the awful and useless co-worker was fired and of course, he didn't take it too well seeing his own father screwed him but she had private security on stand-by just for this particular result
However after just five months you'd quit that job and work at a bigger company but you were still grateful for what she did for you
Vivi
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You were refused a raise despite all the hard work and effort you put into the company and when you just decided to work the bare minimum you were written up for being "lazy"
"What are you serious? What fucking idiot for him not to see the talent inside of you!"
Vivi would've taken a little much of different course of action to the situation
She would first consulted Haseul who's the head of the household and recommended reporting this to your boss's supervisor
But seeing that the CEO was just as useless greedy as the manager she ended up just buying the whole company
"W-What is this?! An ownership contract?!"
"Well, sir, you should've thought about this before treating my husband like shit so from now on, I'll be running this company,"
In just no time you became her secretary and it was a win-win for the both of you now that you get be at her side 24/7
Nana
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You got a customer complaint from an actress whom Nana happened to once partnered up with in the past
She'd be perfectly calm about the whole situation and unlike Vivi and the others she'd handle it her own way
"Okay darling, just leave her to me and don't worry about a thing okay~?"
Confused at first but you decided to let her run the show and enjoy it from a safe distance because you know well it will get a bit messy
She'd review the surveillance footage and prove you were just doing your job enforcing the company's policies thus making the actress the guilty one
When she gathered enough evidence, she'd confront her former co-worker and obviously she denied it and made up stories that you were being rude
"Is that so? Well, mind explaining this?"
Shocked and caught red-handed, she knew her life would be over at this moment knowing Nana could just end her career in the blink of an eye
"I-I'm sorry! Please don't turn this into the media!"
Luckily for her, Nana was in a kind mood so she just asked her to apologize, and quickly she obliged
Cho Miyeon
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Miss Cho Miyeon is someone you don't want to mess with especially since she is Lieutenant of the (G) I-DLE mafia
The second she heard that you were targetted by your company she wouldn't hesitate to send men to burn their building to the ground
"What is that, my dear? Are they bothering you? Are you okay? I can just send some of my guys to burn the damn place to the ground."
Of course, you begged her not to as this wasn't the first time she committed mass murder and arson
But she'd just bought the whole company and transformed it to serve the Mafia clan
You wanting to continue to live a normal life would just get hired by a different company with better co-workers and management
"Aww~ Baby are you sure you don't want to join us~?"
Sure the offer was tempting as you'd love to be close to Miyeon but it was too much of a risk having a target on your head 24/7
Im Yeojin
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Being the youngest of the family and step-sister she'd be mostly concerned about your health and well-being
"Oppa, are you okay?" "Do you need some cuddles~?"
Yeojin wouldn't really do much besides just informing her mothers
"Eomma! Oppa was being bullied! It was his boss again!"
Sadly nobody would take her that seriously as she was too adorable to be intimidating
However she doesn't need to do anything as her Eommas take care of everything for her
"Baby! Eomma said that she voted the CEO out of his office so she's in charge! Isn't that great?!"
For the rest of the night, you two cuddled in her bedroom after partying
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gareleia · 4 months
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THE KNITTING SAGA BUT HERMES IS A DUMMY
update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!
previously: part 1 part 2 part 3
next: part 5
m'kay, so, we've talked about Athena & Telemachus' issues. now let's touch on Hermes, because a Diva™ like him deserves his own post. and also because this had been sitting in my notes for so long i've genuinely forgotten about it (i'd say that it's what translating a musical does to you, but honestly my attention span is just shit)
now, as much as I love Soft Boi!Hermes, I even more so love prankster Hermes who doesn't really recognize personal boundaries or the meaning of 'too far'. he's the guy who'll commit to the bit so far, he'll commit mass murder with a Tee-Hee and genuinely wonder what has got everyone so upset.
kid!Telemachus, holding a cup of poison: grandpa, are you sure it's a good idea? I'm scared… Hermes, laughing his ass off in the corner: of course I'm sure, champ! it'll be hilarious! good ol' game of Ithacean Roulette! now dump it into the wine, let's see who we'll get this time!
at the same time, he's not selfish. he's very keen on doing things for the people he likes, and he cares enough to know when someone is distressed. he, as a god, is just so removed from traditional human morality that casual acts of cruelty are perfectly acceptable to him, while, for example, breaking an oath is a horrible sin.
think blue and orange morality stuff.
telemachus, outraged: …murdered his own family, can you imagine? hermes, equally outraged: I know, right? he gave a blood oath and broke it! disgusting! telemachus: why is that your only concern?!
but don't worry, helping to raise Telemachus and hanging around the same people consistently makes a real boy outta him gives him enough time and insight into humanity to start understand mortals better, and, as consequence, adopt some of their values.
especially the concept of spousal loyalty. Hermes is a patron god of thieves, and at the time taking someone's wife was viewed as an act of theft (because women were property, yeeesh). which is why to him Penelope's situation was less of a tragedy and more of a "well, my dumbass great-grandson Odysseus should've seen it coming. snooze you lose! ¯_(ツ)_/¯"
that is, until he gets to know her better. and suddenly she's not a prize to be won or a challenge to conquer. she's a smart, capable person that commands respect from anyone who's got a shred of self-awareness. she's got gentle hands, and a radiant smile, and a spine of steel. Penelope looked Hermes dead in the eyes and told him serenely to keep being a good influence on her son, she does not deserve to be reduced to a token and given away to the highest bidder.
hermes, initially: well, penelope's a rich, gorgeous, basically single queen. I'd steal her too, if she was my type. hermes, 10 years later: she's the smartest, ballsiest human woman I've ever met and if she only wants her Ugly Ass Groom then she'll fucking stay single until he comes back.
unfortunately for everyone else, Hermes cannot step in to protect her, because Zeus and Poseidon are both pissed off at Odysseus already, and if either of them notices Hermes (and/or Athena) interfering with mortals on Ithaca, they might take it as an invitation to follow suit, and then it'll be Troy Story 2: Electric Boogaloo.
so he stays his hand, and hangs around Telemachus discreetly, mostly posing as a human. for a god of liars, he's surprisingly bad at blending in for long periods of time. Hermes thinks he's an awesome conspirator. meanwhile little Telemachus didn't even realise it was a secret.
the only people who don't know that [insert alias] is a god in disguise are the suitors, who are notoriously either too stupid, too overconfident or too busy drinking to connect the dots. the exception is Antinous who pretends to be oblivious and makes sure the gods don't see him as a threat to their beloved little pup (otherwise he'd have killed the prince long ago).
the suitors, however, unanimously agree that they hate this weird annoying stranger, and try to get rid of him in increasingly elaborate ways, from poison to stabbing to wild animals to dropping pots on his head.
spoiler alert: it doesn't work.
hermes, next day: *comes back every morning like nothing had happened, whistling cheerily* suitors: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!
eventually Antinous convinces them to give up so they don't piss off Hermes.
years pass, Telemachus grows. Athena teaches him strategy and arts of war. Aeolus gradually comes out of the hiding and becomes the resident lovable comic relief side character. and Hermes? he teaches the kid all the good stuff.
and it's not just lying, okay? (though it's a significant part of it) music, diplomacy, geography, street smarts, some history. he's a worldly god, had observed and been a part of countless cultures. above all else, he knows people. he may not really understand them, but he knows how to get what he wants from them, how to find common ground and how to spin things to get along with practically anyone.
and girls. Hermes helps Telemachus with girls.
because he's the cool uncle figure that Telemachus admires, the kid trusts him enough to ask the god for advice when he starts growing older and gets his first crush in his early teens.
and, on one hand, Hermes is ecstatic. on the other one…
telemachus, blushing and stuttering: there's a girl I met, she's so pretty, and cool, and, and, and how do I talk to her, do I just come up and say hi, but what if sh- hermes: … hermes: *blue screen of death* hermes: MY BABY-
it's the first time he truly starts to grasp how short the kid's life will be. because in the blink of an eye he turned from a newborn to an adolescent, and soon enough he'll have his own family, and Odysseus was already a king himself at this age, and Hermes is not ready this can't be it he can't just grow old and die
so anyway, he pushes the thought aside and pretends it never came up at all (because that always works, and bottling shit up never blows up in anyone's face, right, Athena?)
he gives lots of advice, from useless macho stuff to golden nuggets like "be yourself" and "show her respect". and, of course, he cheers from the sidelines, hiding 'inconspicuously'.
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and it goes surprisingly well. the girl appears to find Telemachus' awkward attempts at flirting sweet and charming, and the boy is on the cloud nine.
but Hermes isn't. because, unlike the prince, his judgment isn't clouded by a puppy crush and he can see that the girl is actually a lying bitch, who's playing Telemachus like a fiddle, hoping to become the next queen of Ithaca. and he won't stand for it.
except Telemachus, for some reason, doesn't seen thrilled when Hermes tells him to dump the girl?? he flat out refuses to believe that, because love is blind and so are sheltered insecure teenage boys.
so Hermes, in his infinite wisdom, decides to prove to his naive little charge once and for all that the girl is just using him and doesn't actually love him. now, what's the first example of true selfless love from a woman that comes to mind to the god who had spent the last few years hanging out with the royal family of Ithaca? right, Penelope. and the one thing that characterises Penelope is her unconditional loyalty, even into the face of countless threats and temptations.
hermes, to himself: so, if I show the kid that the bitch will leave him as soon as she finds a better prospect, he will definitely admit I was right all along! and dump her! it's a perfect, easy, foolproof plan! I am so smart! what could possibly go wrong!
another spoiler alert: everything goes wrong.
the girl does happily jump into his arms as soon as he hints that he's a god/demi-god/just a cooler prince or something. she does it right in front of Telemachus, in fact, so there's no way he'd be able to deny the obvious.
on the bright side, Hermes immediately outs her as a lying bitch and publicly shames her, embarrassing her family and ruining her prospects of marriage and causing her to suffer for the rest of her life ('disproportionate revenge'? what's that?).
on the down side, for some unfathomable reason, Telemachus doesn't seem very grateful??? what???????
hermes: and so, AS ALWAYS, I was right. telemachus: hermes: but please, hold your applause! telemachus: hermes: I did it all for you, out of the goodness of my heart! telemachus: hermes: and please, don't apologize! you were wrong, I get it! no need to- telemachus: *bitch slaps his smug face and runs away, hurt and betrayed* hermes: *shocked pikachu face*
thing is, Hermes doesn't understand what he did wrong. in his mind he did a rather good deed: showed the liar's true colors, and spared the kid a lot of heartache down the line. he doesn't understand the feelings of betrayal from having someone he trusts explicitly outing him as a naive fool in front of everyone he ever dreamed of earning respect from. doesn't get the pain of having been cast aside by someone he liked in favor of a god, with whom he could never compete. can't imagine living in the shadow of someone he had never even known and being constantly reminded of all the ways he's lacking.
telemachus: I'm not a stupid child, hermes. I could've handled it. hermes: but you didn't listen to me, maybe you'd have never seen it on your own- telemachus: and maybe I would've. maybe I would've had the opportunity to find out myself, and maybe I would've learned from it, but you never gave me that choice, did you?! did you think i'm that dumb?! hermes: oh, come on, kid, you're not dumb- telemachus: THEN WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I AM?! WHY DON'T YOU EVER TRUST ME?!
aaaaand there's the core issue. Telemachus had spent his whole life being babied at best and looked down upon at worst. constantly compared to Odysseus and his more vicious peers, always shielded from making tough decisions and proving himself. he feels like he will never amount to anything, because no one ever lets him really try. as soon as it looks like he's going to make a mistake, someone (usually Athena, Aeolus or Hermes) swoops in and 'fixes' everything for him, just like they used to do when he was an accident-prone toddler. which he isn't anymore.
and Hermes doesn't understand that. to him, ten years is basically nothing. the kid can't have changed that much in ten years. because if he did, then he'll change a lot in the next ten years, and the next, and very soon he won't change anymore, because ten years are nothing and so are human livespans.
ten years are nothing, because to admit otherwise would force Hermes to face the fact that Telemachus, no matter how precious, is just as mortal as any other human. which amounts to basically losing him already. and Hermes can't.
he held that boy as an infant. he fed him, helped to teach him walk and talk and make silly faces. he can't lose this child to time, the one thing even gods can't really protect humans from.
Penelope finds Hermes sitting on her balcony with the most human expression on his face she'd ever seem him wear. he's lost, and confused, and full of regrets, and kind of terrified. in that aspect, he reminds her painfully of her husband.
hermes, mumble: he's growing older penelope, sighing: I know hermes: he's not a baby anymore penelope: believe me, I know hermes: but... what do I do now??? penelope: you let it happen. not much else you can do.
she talks him through it.
hermes, rambling: but I will lose him. I'll lose him if he grows old and dies. this is why I don't get attached to mortals, you die too soon. he can't die now. penelope: he's not going to die now. he'll become the king first, he will find a good wife and have children and grandchildren. he will become great, greater that I and his father could ever dream of. and he'll be happy. don't you want to see that? hermes: I do, but- I don't want him to grow up! penelope: then you finally know the biggest joy and the deepest pain of parenthood.
it doesn't fix his fear. doesn't fix his pain, either. but it does help fix his attitude.
because she's right. Telemachus is growing old, and he can't shelter and protect the boy forever. soon he'll become a man, then an elder. and there's nothing Hermes can do about it, short of dragging the prince to Olympus and begging Zeus to grant him immortality, which will never work.
Hermes and Telemachus make up, of course. the latter knows, deep down, that the former is just trying to take care of him. they make up and forget the fight - at least, the boy does.
Hermes will always remember.
and he will count every day, every wrinkle, every grey hair.
the joy and pain of parenthood indeed.
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sol-consort · 8 months
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How far have you gotten in Mass Effect 2? Also have you gotten any other pets or just your fish?
I'm doing Legion's loyalty mission, and then I will go to the omega 4 mass relay. I've done all other loyalties
Just fish for now, I did get Kelly to feed them tho, the scene was very disappointing.
I got the varen to follow me on Tuchanka after I fed him some meat but he never on ship.
Oh and a space hamster! Is he the reference to Boo and Baldur's Gate? Foshkdjsw I loved Kelly's comment about him and the cute little squeek he does when you interact with his box.
I did the admiral Hackett arrival mission by accident because I didn't realise it was the one- I was underleveled with like two snipers and 5 upgrades but eh I managed.
I have several n7 assignments left but I read that I should do them after the game ends.
I'm thinking of ng+ but apparently doing that disconnects your ME1 import or something and your choices get ereased? Or is that just a rumour, Idk.
I think imma go with Thane's romance, the siha was the final nail in the coffin that sealed by fate. I'm very disappointed by how surface level they made Jacob when he has so much potential, his loyality mission was the third on the list of the most horrifically and emotionally scarring ones to do and yet we get very little in the aftermath or from Jacob himself during it.
The overlord takes the first spot no doubt, my god.
It just felt unfullfilling and like Shepard is the one gunning for a relationship when Jacob doesn't want it, only something casual and that's after a lot of time convincing him. I miss how Kaidan or Ashley would flirt with you by themselves without having to initiate it and you can reject them or encourage them.
Here I think they did this for the player's comfort, like in that Halsin scene where he asks if you're sure multiple times. But that was bear sex! We're talking about normal smooching here or holding hands.
Instead, it butchered the romance, and it feels like Shepard is making them uncomfortable and insisting on a relationship, pressuring subordinates at that too.
Maybe it's different with maleShepard? Maybe other romances would've been different. But Garrus and Jacob fully felt like they would rather be at another room. Garrus himself says he doesn't have a fetish for humans but will try for us. That's after he tells us to go sleep with another human instead since it's closer to home.
With Garrus, I don't want someone to fix it. I don't want a rapid dog to pull the leash of every time he wants to bite. It feels like I'm just here to make sure he doesn't murder others, he seems more emotionally immature than before. Hesitant and lost, I don't want to be the one to figure who he is for him, he should do that himself.
Thane so far feels the most romantically available funny enough despite how much he simps for his dead wife. There are still some few throw away lines flirting with Shep that are subtle enough to miss.
Calling you "siha" an angel, one of the messenger of his gods, a protective angel that helps and aids people. Before you two have any commited relationship.
Describing how he remembers everything in great details even the smallest kiss and lets the comment be, if you say it made you uncomfortable then he apologises.
And he loves his son, that's always the biggest green flag. While Jacob buries his emotion and is defensive when talking about his father, meanwhile Garrus changed so much, where did my polite kind turian go?
It also fits, he still loves his wife, my Shepard still loves Kaidan, and he doesn't have much time left to live. I see Shepard and him finding solace in each other's arms before one has to eventually leave. Shepard comforts him during his last years of life while he helps them mend their freshly broken heart. A win win. A mutual agreement.
The good cop bad cop roleplay also was the closest thing to playful I have ever encountered in a loyalty mission.
I tried flirting with Samara, man that stung.
Liara came to my room but didn't make a move?
Pov: You're Liara seconds after blueballing my Shepard and actually only coming over for wine.
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I hate my romance options. I liked Tali's mission tho it was super fun and I don't get a lot of chances to yell and play the loudest human in the room.
Anderson betrayed us and knew about Horizon, you can go to confront him and say how he was your only friend left. He doesn't apologise and says it was a necessary risk, that made me lose respect for him a bit. Shepard does not have a single soul on their side in this lifetime.
I did some DLC by accident? That's kinda why I wanna restart with ng+ and do everything in the recommended order. Plus, the widow sniper is amazing, and I don't wanna part with it just yet :(
I liked taking Legion everywhere, but it's already end game. I had put off recruiting him because I didn't know the FF mission was his, I thought it was the last mission before the endgame missions, so I must do it last.
He looks so...ominous in every screenshot, like it's taken moments away before disaster. Ik it's just his headlights but man he looks ready to jump me. It made me realise how scary the Geth can be when you're not viewing them from a sniper's lens behind a crate miles away.
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I thought the last empty space was for Liara but she left.
The game is 10/10, steps on your heart a lot and more angsty than the first game, Also everything is so expensive and I am so broke. The Alliance used to pay me per fucking kill, Cerberus are so stingy.
Gonna either start with a ng+, re-import my ME1 character or just move on to ME3.
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samasmith23 · 9 months
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The Ouroboros Cycle of the Punisher, as conveyed by Jason Aaron & Maria Castle
I love how the 10th issue of Jason Aaron’s Punisher maxiseries highlights how even though in the previous issue Frank Castle killed Ares, the literal Greek God of War, said-death does NOT bring Frank’s personal war to an end like this series previously heavily implied it would. Instead Ares’ demise only serves to further escalate Frank’s systematic mass-slaughter of everyone that he deems “deserving of punishment” on a global scale. Aaron expertly portrays the addictive nature of Frank’s absolutist beliefs through not only the killings themselves, but also through his resurrected wife Maria’s increasing frustration with her husband’s obvious inability to actually commit to his empty promises that, “After today, it’ll all be done. My work… after today.”
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In large measure, Aaron highlights the inevitable Ouroboros cycle of Frank’s war. Just like the mythological snake that eats its own tail, the fascistic “might-makes-right” ideology of individuals like Frank Castle is inherently self-destructive. In the process of killing everyone that Frank personally perceives as “evil” in order to satisfy their own rage & bloodlust, he ultimately ends up further damaging the already-fragile relationship he has with his wife Maria. Essentially for the Punisher, the war can never truly end because in his own twisted perspective, “There are [always] others,” which in turn pushes Maria farther away from him.
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There will always be other names in the eyes of the Punisher. A list of names that will only continue to increase as Frank views all of humanity, “As things of meat, indistinguishable from one another… except when it comes to man’s most important features. His sins. The ones they’ve already committed. And even the blessed ones yet to be.”
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And as Rogue from X-Men: Age of Apocalypse once eloquently stated in refutation to the death-cult mentality that ultimately defines fascism:
“How many lives have to be lost… how much blood has to flow, until y’all are satisfied?!”
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As much as Maria desperately wants her husband to, “Come home,” she’s gradually beginning to realize just how truly far gone and incapable of returning home Frank Castle is. While there was a small part of Frank that did want to move past both his childhood vigilante murders and service as a marine in order to be with his wife and children, Maria herself questions in the previous issue that, “If the man [she] married… was a man [she] knew at all. If maybe [she] was the mistress. And it was the war he was wedded to. It’d always been the war.”
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And how appropriately fitting that Maria’s narration occurs in conjunction to the Punisher’s murder of Ares, the very act which further feeds into the Ouroboros cycle of Frank’s war instead of ending it like he repeatedly falsely promises to his wife.
Furthermore, Aaron illustrates that even when Frank attempts to finally uphold his promises to “come home” to Maria when he refuses to kill a child that was indoctrinated into a hate group, it is already far to late since not only are several of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes currently planning to bring the Punisher to justice once and for all, but Maria herself begins to learn the horrible truth of just how monstrous her husband actually is (Maria still doesn’t know about all the murders Frank committed as the Punisher following his wife and children’s deaths…).
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Overall, I’m really enjoying Aaron’s deconstruction of the Punisher and cannot wait to see Frank Castle be held accountable for his crimes in the final two issues of the 12-issue maxiseries!
From Punisher (2022) #10 by Jason Aaron, Jesús Saiz & Paul Acazeta.
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slytherinsnekxvii · 3 years
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let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.
now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.
you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.
in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.
oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.
my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."
fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.
respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.
i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.
fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"
the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.
and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.
remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.
teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.
grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.
fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.
why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?
as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.
fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.
of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.
and now, we get to lily and james.
we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.
and yet.
what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.
james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.
fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.
give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?
...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.
canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.
lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.
of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.
and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.
first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.
regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.
and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.
jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.
same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.
first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.
secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.
thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.
fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.
and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.
anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?
theseus' fucking ship, indeed.
anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.
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imaslutforcuddles · 2 years
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Be good to me (I’m tired)
PART ONE / PART TWO / HAPPY ENDING
Summary: The emergence is all that is on Ikaris’ mind and y/n isn’t on his side. He leaves without a goodbye after a big fight you two shared, but comes back after Sersi and Sprite are attacked by deviants, only to come back to you about to attempt and a note in-hand. Comfort isn’t one of his strengths but he wants to talk you out of hurting yourself. He does something unexpected when you fight against him to save the human race, unknowing. Things happen way to quickly for your idiotic husband(I love Ikaris don’t get me wrong, but he’s dumb).
Song link: I’m tired - Labyrinth, Zendaya
Warning(s): Mention of attempt, Self harm, Spoilers, Heart-wrenching shit, Swearing, Angst, major character death.
A/N: Now hold on, this is going to be two parts bc I feel so unmotivated. I’m not going to spoil in my authors note because it’s visible, I don’t want people who haven’t seen eternals to get mad at me lmao. I have no idea what this is to be honest, I just wrote what I wanted to. If its crap I sincerely apologize. Its been awhile since I've added anything and that's because I started going into inpatient rehab in February, its an explanation not an excuse for attention, thank you. Spoilers under the cut. If this is at the top that means I haven’t written the second part yet.
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Hey lord, you know I'm tired                                                                                     Hey lord, you know I'm tired                                                                                 
You pace back and forth deciding whether you should put a tranquilizer in his neck or forgive him for wanting to help erase the only thing that has helped you want to stay alive for the past seven painful millennia. 
Ikaris puts his hand on your shoulder to try and calm your nerves, “I’m sorry for hurting you love, and I understand you care, but the emergence is important.” You turn around just to slap him in the face leaving a red mark, “No, Ikaris. You don’t understand! You don’t care about anything but your duties because you’re an emotionless robot!” His eyes widened, as a tear rolled down your cheek. He wanted to wipe it but knew better than to touch you again. “Well then if that’s how you see me then we shouldn’t see each other anymore,” Ikaris concluded leaving your mouth agape, you soon closed it and nodded. “Fine if you want to be a coward then so be it Ikaris.” He then starts walking toward an open window and flies off into the dark and weary sky. You collapse to the ground weeps following your shaky movement. 
Hey lord, you know I'm tired of tears                                                                      Hey lord, just cut me loose
“When Ikaris left he took a part of my heart with him.” You said to Sersi via phone shedding another painful tear. You just wished that Ikaris never had meant much to you.
Hey Lord, You know I'm fighting                                                                        Hey Lord, You know I'm fighting      
You threw the vase he had gifted to you for your first Christmas married to him, kneeling down you picked up the remaining pieces near you and hugged them close to you. It had finally hit you, Ikaris left you. He’s not coming back because he chose the emergence over you, his wife.                                                      
I'm sure this world is done with me                                                                    Hey Lord, You know it's true
After a day of suffering in silence, you decide that you can’t live much longer without feeling the guilt of the mass murder of humanity that will take place soon, because of your husband. So you did the unthinkable, you took a kitchen knife and moved it swiftly across your wrists. Self-harm wasn’t something you put much thought into, you knew humans committed it often to get rid of their pain but it wasn’t something you thought you would ever need to use, and here you are, cutting yourself like you were your worst enemy.
Now the tide is rolling in I don't wanna win
You had thought in the beginning Ikaris would change his dutiful ways, and forget the stupid emergence to be with you. Sersi and the others could figure out a way to stop it, all of you together have a ton of power. Earth could be saved, but as time passed and Ikaris never showed your mind slowly gave up, Ikaris meant the world to you. If he didn’t love you as much as he loved his duty then there was no point in fighting to stay alive for the thing you loved. After all, you had gone through with him, you weren’t enough for him although he would always be enough for you.
Let it take me, let it take me I'll be on my way
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coline7373 · 2 years
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I have strong feelings towards Vader's "Redemption".
When I was a child, I didn't think further than "The bad guy loved his son so he saved him from the Emperor. That was Good."
As an adult, that moment doesn't cut it anymore to "redeem" Vader to me. It can be Not Your Opinion and that's fair. It's even canon, since he came back as a blue ghost!
But in my opinion, there is none of the components of redemption.
Redemption is to self-reflect on one's actions, to judge them as negative, to give verbal recognition that one's actions were harmful, to learn from it and to resolve to not do it again.
Reparations and forgiveness are welcome, but not necessary. If one truly ackowledge their action caused harm, learn from it and do not repeat them, then the first step of redemption is complete.
So.
What did Vader do?
In that present moment, he kills the Emperor and thus start the destruction of the Empire. But it's impulsive. To the last moment, you're not sure if he's going to stop Palpatine from torturing his son or not. There is no forethought, no reflexion.
And he didn't do it because he though the Empire was wrong and the Dark Side was bad. His intent wasn't motivated by regret of his actions or his choices. He doesn't think what he has done is wrong.
He's not sorry to have become a Sith.
He's not sorry for all he has done, and he did a lot.
He didn't just killed Jedi at the Temple but hunted down any that survived, even if they weren't doing anything but hiding. He taugh all the kidnapped Force Sensitive children how to become inquisitors, twisting them into the evil version of who they should have been. He participated in/provoked the subjugation of planets that didn't fall in line with the Empire. He killed any who tried to oppose him. He killed in rage, in boredom, in irritation, en masse, in precise strikes...
The numbers of his murders is uncalculable.
Uncalculable.
We're that high. And that's just the people he killed directly.
You read the comic, Vader's Fortress in particular, you see that all the rewards he wanted for the atrocities he commited was the opportunity to further his connection to the Dark Side.
More darkness, more power, more, more, more.
He never reflect on or regret any of what he has done. Just -the past with Padme. And even then, just the parts he liked. There's a lot of occulting the full breadth of who she was. And any time she come up, he still think "she betrayed me." The guy strangled his pregnant wife and she's the one who wasn't loyal to their vows.
Once again, it's all about himself, which is the very much point.
This is what Sith Philosophy is.
All about the Self: selfishness, subjectivity, lack of empathy, possessiveness,...
The feelings of the individual are more important than those of any other's. These elevated feelings shape the individual's point of view and thus, this person's skewed view of what reality is. It's their Truth.
How one person perceive their Own Truth matters more than the Actual Truth, for the Sith.
The Actual Truth, aka Reality, is created by all sentients beings. Which is only possible to understand by embracing other's point of view, which is only possible to do by temporarily setting aside your own, which is only possible to do by letting go of your own emotions for a while, to make space for other's.
And like Palpatine said in the comic, Vader let nothing go.
Because Vader is a True Sith.
He didn't reflect on his actions and recognise the harm he caused. He feels no regrets. He doesn't even intend to stop the Empire. He just impulsively saved Luke.
Because it was his son he had with his lost wife and Palpatine didn't have the right to kill that which was his.
Luke only mattered because of who he was in relation to Vader. Not because a young man's death is wrong. Not because the Emperor's actions were wrong, only the target. Not because Vader's actions were wrong and they caused harms to four trillions of people for over twenty years.
At no moment does he says "I am sorry." At no moment does he even feels sorry. There is no recognition or ackowledgment of wrongdoing.
And yes, he dies shortly after, so he can't really prove he won't do it again. But I have re-watch it several times and there is nothing there that showed me that, if he could, he would even try to stop the Empire. For him to stop, he would have to find fault with it in the first place.
Nothing is learned. There is no intention of ceasing the type of actions that caused the situation in the first place. Vader does not recognise his responsability in any of it because, for him, none of it was wrong.
He did what he did because he didn't wanted Palpatine to kill his son. But anyone else's son was fair game. Killing is fine. Because what he feels and what he wants matter more than people's actual lives.
Because he's a Sith.
And that's the kind of people Sith are.
And thus, Darth Vader is not redeem to me.
Yes, yes, I know it's supposed to be a nice family story so everything is supposed to end well and all lose ends get neatly resolved.
But as an adult, I can enjoy it for what is it and still have a critical view on the characters. And my view is that Vader is bad and this one action does not redeem him, even though I'm glad he did or Luke would have been toast.
That Moment where Luke took off Vader's helmlet is not - to me - a metaphor to shows the reedemed man inside the monster, being brought back to life as the monster die.
For me, it show that monsters aren't great, big, hulking, black-wearing people you can tell are evil from miles away.
It says monsters look ordinary. They are your father, your family, your neighbour. They love you and you can even love them.
They are still monsters.
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chanluster · 4 years
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non ducor duco | {m}
oneshot | historical! au | gang! au | 15.2k words 
“The most notorious gang leader in Victorian London can gouge out the eyes of men, steal from the corrupted rich, and terrify an entire city, but cannot figure out a few complicated feelings with you.”
s u m m a r y >> the leader of the sons of seoul, the wanted criminal mastermind, christopher bang, has the courage to commit any deed save for confronting you, his most trusted accomplice, about his feelings. however, when opportunity arises, in the shape of an invitation to a grand seasonal ball, to take down his fated enemy, he takes you to the heart of a lavish estate, both of you unaware of actions that occur inside, and after the mission.
w a r n i n g s >> gonna be using chris instead of chan cause it’s set in 1860s london, chan is a dom of course, jisung and changbin are dumb and dumber, are also massive cockblockers, some cliché scenes cause i’m a sucker for them, sexual! tension!, gore, foul language, making out, dirty talk, aggressiveness, semi-public fingering, unprotected sex (stay safe homies!!), oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasms, chan has a thing for being called his korean name, whack spelling for ‘cum’ as ‘come’ cause technically that word didn’t exist in 1860s, there is a plot so there will be build up
a / n > > so i went way over the 10k originally planned lmfaoooo but i hope y’all enjoy this oneshot! i worked my ass off on it and hopefully y’all can appreciate gang leader chan in 1860s london cause honestly i’m a 100% whore for that concept
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IT WAS A UNIVERSAL LAW THAT ONE MUST NEVER FUCK WITH CHRISTOPHER BANG. EVER.
Whatever charge you may have against him, it must be withdrawn. Whatever he had done to you — robbed you, murdered your son, destroyed your entire existence — it did not matter. There were always limits, and trying to challenge this specific criminal would only result in your undoing.
It seemed the target, cornered before you and the very man himself, did not fully understand this order.
Chris Bang, in all his midnight suited glory, took a step towards the cowering man, the ends of his longcoat trailing him in the air. His gloved hands locked behind his back, a grave curve of his lips as he addressed his next victim. “Mr. Shaw, we know you have the documents.”
This said Mr Shaw hastily shook his head, raising his hands in immediate surrender. “Please, Mr. Bang,” he whimpered. “I have no inkling of what you speak of!”
“Don’t you dare lie!” You interjected, sliding out your knife, pointing it towards him. “We received reports of you. Don’t you dare forget the monthly checks we’ve sent for its safekeeping!”
“I was taking care of it, Miss!” He backed further, until the wall of his office stopped his escape. “They came to the office though.”
“Who did?!” You demanded, but the way Chris’s hand fisted in irritancy answered your question.
The Mayor had taken their shares. Once again, the tyrant had robbed them off their fortune. 
“Mr. Shaw,” the man beside you started. The raw, dark matter in his voice had the owner’s eyes widening in pure fear. “Who was it specifically?”
“A really large man, about seven foot for sure…God, he had cuts all over his face, slight stubble,” he answered, knees slightly shaking. “Please, Mr. Bang, I have a family, children who have not grown—”
“Why is it that whenever man is at his weakest he mentions his loved ones?” A few stray locks escaped from Chris’ raked hair, caressing the ragged scar from his brow down to his cheek. “Why do you think that I’ll suddenly take pity because you have others who will mourn your existence?”
These questions had the man collapsing, leaning completely against the wall for support. You stole a glance at Chris, wondering if he was now capable of extracting the very souls from men. “Do not keep toying with me, Shaw,” he warned, leaning in slightly. “I know you have information.”
A soft, helpless whine escaped from the owner of the building. “Then-they'll kill me,” he mumbled, looking up at the criminal with desperation. It was a shame that never worked on a man with no sympathy.
“I can kill you too,” Chris countered, and in a flash a sleek, pocket knife appeared in his gloved hand, and hovered it right under Shaw’s chin. “So how about you tell me what you know, and I can prolong your imminent end, hmm? Does that seem fair enough?”
You almost felt sorry for the man. “H-his men…” tears formed in his eyes. “His men kept calling him Carter.”
“Brilliant,” you muttered. ‘Scar’ Carter, the Mayor’s link to the crime world, the dirty dealings of London. Carter, the lapdog of the socialites. The most irritating, disgusting son of a bitch you had ever encountered.
“I see.” The knife stayed, caressing the manager’s skin. “Now I know they’re to sell the documents. The bastard is greedy.
“Question is, Shaw, where is the transaction going to take place?”
Dear God, the man looked as if he was about to piss his trousers. “The ball.” He tried to gulp, but felt the curve of the blade. “The Mayor’s brother is holding a masquerade ball in a few days, and Carter already had a client. They’re going to do the dealing there, I swear on my children!”
A harsh scoff emitted from the criminal. “You better hope for the sake of your sons that you aren’t lying.” 
“Did you get the invitations?” You asked, eyes darting around the dirtied room, the messy desks and chairs lopsided from your searching. 
“Yes, yes!” He pointed to a set of drawers. “There are two in there!”
You walked towards the destination, opening the drawers and sure enough, finding the gold-edged enveloped, addressed to Shaw and his wife. “Are your names inside too?”
“No, just the envelope, but that is not important! I promise!”
You pocketed the invitations inside your coat pocket, joining your leader’s side again. Chris, after a minute of heart-wrenching silence, stood up, freeing Shaw’s neck from the knife, sliding it within his belt.
“That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” His eyes were still upon the man when he said, “Let us return.”
The both of you were ready to leave when you heard Shaw’s sudden protests.
“The Sons of Seoul, everybody!” He declared, almost hysterically. “Coming in, fucking everything up, and leaving as if nothing had ever happened!”
Chris paused in his tracks, a quiet stillness passing over his whole figure. 
“What are you going to do now, Mr. Bang?” He hissed, slowly sliding up. “Are you going to infiltrate the biggest ball of the season? Create a bloodbath on the dance floor? It’s what you love to do so ardently, no?”
You heard the harsh spit smack on the office floor. “Stop meddling with the business of the British socialites. Go back to the gutter you crawled out of.” The next words overflowed with hatred. “Go back to where you really came from, you slit-eyed prick.”
Your eyes flashed in shock, swerving around to see the raging expression on Shaw’s beady little face. Fisting your hands, you were ready to knock him out when you felt the man beside you move.
Chris whirled around, eyes promising a horrifying future as he pounced upon the manager.
A yelp was heard as Chris’ fingers dug at the corner of Shaw's eyes, and relished the cries of terror as with a roar of his own, he squeezed with his thumb and forefinger, swelling the balls of vision from their sockets. With a loud pop! the two eyes tore from their origins, gooey residue trailing down his face as Christopher Bang palmed the two organs in his hands.
He observed his victim bellowing in pain as he fell to his knees, hands covering his bloodied sockets. A ghostly smirk accompanied his lips. "Better slit-eyes than none at all."
You had to suppress the severe shivers that threatened to break your stance. 
Shaw broke the universal law. His undoing was inevitable.
He flung the eyes upon the owner, and turned on his heel, eerily cool as he walked out of the office, blood and goo still on his black gloves. Not a hair ruffled upon his pretty head. 
You spared a look at the victim, crying out in infinite pain, hands on his sockets still. “Do not fuck with Christopher Bang,” was all you said, before following the devil out of the building.
The afternoon London heat hit you as you exited the offices, Chris waiting as he examined the filthy streets surrounding you. People of all classes strolled by, beggars on the street asking for two-pence, children selling newspapers down the corners, and carriages riding away on the wide roads. The man still did not clean his gloves from the mess, and you pointed this out as you arrived at his side.
“It does not bother me,” he waved you off, but you brought out your leather skin.
“Bring your hands out,” you ordered. 
Chris scowled. “I said I’m alright,___.” He began walking forwards, towards your humble abode, not far away from your starting point. “Besides, whoever strolls past us, they’ll second guess their evil intentions against us.” You glanced over the strange looking fellows, scattered across the roads. “Shows I am not afraid to get my hands dirty.”
“Whatever,” you mumbled. “Dirty pig.”
You felt daggers glaring into you. “What did you say?”
“You heard me,” you said, turning a corner, already catching sight of the docks. “I expect this behaviour from Jisung. Perhaps even Changbin, but not from you.”
“Enough with this,” the man ordered, irritancy clear in his voice. Grumbling, you walked beside him in silence, the Thames entering your vision. You wished it would have radiated a rich, clear blue body of water, but from the stench which even reached your nose, it would be impossible. The river, a dump for the sewers, the rubbish disposed daily, was a toxic mass of water, and the cause of thousands dying from drinking its contents. When you first joined the Sons you nearly drank from the river, being saved only by Chris’ rough hand slapping the cup away. You remembered you received a harsh scolding from him that day, immediately providing you with clean water after to quench your thirst. 
A small smile curved onto your lips at the memory.
“Hand it over.”
You perked your head up to see his filthy, gloved hands out. “What is it?” You asked. 
“The water.”An irritated sigh escaped him. “I’ll clean the bloody gloves.” 
Your smile grew as you handed him the leather skin. “But only because I don’t ever want to be associated with Jisung and Changbin,” he added, and you only laughed, watching the man rub the mess off his attire as you both arrived at the docks.
The first sounds heard were not of the boats bellowing at port, nor the waves lapping in underneath the stilts. 
No, all you were welcomed with was a string of curses, spat by Seo Changbin.
“You fucking bastard, how dare you—”
“Here we go again,” you caught Chris muttering, who quickened his pace, thundering to where the two of his sidemen fought, caught in a scrap.
Han Jisung’s whines were carried through the river air, burning into your eardrums. “Bin, no, I said I’m sorry—!”
When you caught up to Chris, he opened his mouth, exasperation clear in his voice. “Boys!” He exclaimed.
Immediately the fighting ceased. The boys addressed, Changbin atop Jisung, ready to throw the final punch, turned back to see his leader scowling. Jisung let out a yelp, throwing the former from him and scrambling to his feet. Changbin followed suit, a little more slowly after rubbing his side in agony.
“Why the fuck,” Chris started, pointer finger darting between his two men, “Are you both fighting again?”
Changbin, fixing his ruined locks with his hand, shot his best friend a glare. “He took my fucking scones again.” He groaned, much too loud. “God, I specifically stored them in a place where no one would find them, but this greedy pig still managed to snuff them out!”
Jisung, a slender and more comical figure, crossed his arms, raising his chin in stubbornness. “I did not see a bloody name on them! Tell me Bin,” he matched his opponent’s stare. “Did you write down your name with blood-red ink across the scones? Because I certainly did not see the words Seo Changbin scrawled on the surface!”
“Argh!” The elder of the two turned his raging gaze towards the leader, who was watching his subordinates with slight distaste. “Chris, permission to cut off his tongue for being the bane of my existence?!”
Chris only stepped past them, heading for the big wooden table situated near the gang’s warehouse. The sounds of ships sailing in the dirty waters thrummed to the port, shouting heard all around over new, imported goods. “Another time, Changbin,” he only said, bringing out a chair and sitting down, propping an ankle over a knee. “I have encountered enough organ slicing for the day.”
Jisung’s face twisted in awed curiosity, settling himself down beside Chris. “Without me?” he let out a disappointed whine, turning to you. “I trusted you, at least!”
“I was surprised myself, Ji,” you argued, raising a hand towards the aloof man as you sat opposite your friend. “I didn’t know Chris gouged out Shaw’s eyes until they were in his hand!”
“You truly are a selfish man,” Changbin complained, plopping himself on the last seat. “Alway keeping the fun for yourself and ____.”
You did not really know why your face flushed a little at his charge, but you made sure to whack Changbin in the gut, earning a pained groan from the boy.
Chris locked his hands upon the table. “Well, gentlemen, then it is time for you to join in on the entertainment.”
The two boys exchanged confused glances. On cue, you brought out the pair of invitations within your coat pocket, tossing them to the table. “The Mayor’s brother is holding a ball,” you explained, rolling your eyes at the boys tearing open the envelopes, yanking out the oblong, cartridge paper, details inked with a precise hand. “Since it does not have names, anyone can enter the estate.”
Jisung let out an excited yell, grabbing onto Changbin’s arm. “Binnie, we can actually have some fun!”
“Not so fast, boys,” Chris said, tightening his gloves. “The invitations are not yours.”
Changbin’s face immediately fell. “Are you fucking kidding me—”
The elder held out a finger, silencing the complaints, but not the quiet grumbling of his members. “As I was saying,” he continued, hands interlocking once more, “____ and I will use the invitations to get inside, with the two of you as our bodyguards.”
“Marvellous!” Jisung exclaimed, sarcasm practically dripping on his words. “Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic!”
“Jisung,” Chris warned, “How about you clean the shit off the docks instead?”
“Chan,” you murmured, causing him to glance at you. His sour expression almost softened at the word, the name which only few have ever said to him. You pondered at the time the two boys, sat to your right, tried teasing him with this name, and nearly earned an ass-beating. You, on the other hand, rather liked the way the name sounded on your tongue. 
Perhaps, you wished dearly, he liked the way it sounded on your tongue too.
The man, after a pause, averted his eyes from you, focusing them on his comrades. “You both can still enjoy the festivities, but you have to keep a low profile, because while ____ and I are socialising and distracting the guests, you both need to find Carter.”
“Is he at the party too?” Changbin propped his elbows on the table. “Lord above, I’ve been wanting to kick his arse for a while.”
“So you both just frivol away, then?” Jisung whined. “I want to drink and dance!”
“And you both will,” Chris persisted. “We all will keep a lookout for Carter and his dealings, and if any of us find him first, you report to me. At my signal, you and Changbin will break through their trade. I will be behind you as long as I slip away without anyone discovering our motives.”
You look to your leader. “There’s another problem.”
The three all turned to you. “If we are to go to the most lavish ball of the season, we certainly need to dress for it.” Suddenly, you sounded like a little girl when you pointed out, “I do not have a gown to wear for the evening.”
An eyebrow raised upon Chan’s face, while Changbin and Jisung snickered, puckering their lips. “Aww, poor little ____ has no lace to woo the rich men!”
You made to slap the pair’s arms and narrowly missed, glaring. “As if you animals have any decent attire to wear for the ball! When was the last time you wore a proper tailcoat?”
That was enough for their teasing to cease, but Changbin was adamant. “Don’t throw me in with Jisung! He doesn't even bother to shower!”
“Oi, you bastard!”
The pair were ready to fight once more when Chris cleared his throat.
“You’re right,____.”
A glance at the man who said it. “I have only seen you in stealth gear and rags, the first time I met you.” He leaned back in his creaking chair. “Perhaps it is time to flower you up a little.”
Jisung and Changbin were about to chuckle once again when you shot them a dirty look.
“I will order evening attire tomorrow,” Chris decided. “They will arrive on the day of the ball, which is adequate enough timing. 
“Now,” he declared, standing. “Are we all aware of what we have to do?”
The two boys turned sheepishly to you, who sighed and addressed the leader. “You and I attend the ball with these two fools as our bodyguards—”
“Hey!”
“____!”
“We maintain a believable facade and enjoy ourselves while also looking out for Carter and the documents. Once we find out where he is, Changbin and Jisung take him away, and we slip out of the party unnoticed.”
Chris, after a pause, nodded, a ghost of a smile upon his lips. “Good girl.”
And just like that, he left the table, your eyes a little wide and heart a little raced. 
When Chris retreated into the warehouse, the two boys turned their malicious gazes towards you, smirking much too wide for your liking.
“Do not,” you snapped, cheeks burning deeper, earning a smattering of laughter from the bastards.
“Whatever you say, good girl,” Changbin simpered, Jisung repeating the damned endearment until you hastily stood from your chair.
You rewarded them both with your middle finger before storming back into another warehouse, Chris’ words still engraved in your mind.
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Just as Christopher Bang had predicted, the new attire arrived on the day of the ball. 
More planning had been explained, more additions to the grand scheme of the evening which was mere hours away. The gang was ready, but you can never be perfectly anticipated for any ideas gone amiss.
You even taught Jisung and Changbin to dance, ranging from the Polka to the Viennese Waltz, which was popular amongst high society in the growing years of Queen Victoria’s reign. They were terrible at the start, both of them always falling on each other, but with hard effort they learned quickly, almost perfecting the art of leading your partner on the ballroom floor.
You had not bothered asking the other if he wished to learn. There was something about him which made you think that he could do anything. Not once had he ever doubted your theory.
It was as if there was nothing in the world he could not know like the back of his gloved hand.
Thoughts like these were what filled you with such awe for him. Such deep-rooted pride that you worked under this man. Those thoughts did, however, curve into darker corners — when his midnight-lined eyes and raven figure haunted you in restless nights. 
You aggressively shook your head, swinging your legs over the dock. Sitting upon the wood, you watched the sun descend slowly, the stark yellows and whites of the sky beginning to darken. Ships docked and stayed, men with their filthy language and filthier intentions flocked outside, and strange women with too-tight corsets and lips too rosey, smirking at the newcomers, carrying out their own ways of living.
Sometimes, you’d watch this run-down life move on in this exact same spot, thanking the lucky stars for not being one of the boys with the weights on their backs, nor the girls with the untied top corsets. You thanked the same man, who brought you out of that hell, giving you the chance to fight all this wrong embedded in London. 
You also thanked him, especially that day, for calling you that endearment. 
God. The man was a criminal, yet you were the one being imprisoned. 
“____!”
You turned, heaving to your feet when you see Jisung running to you, packages in his hands. “Your gown’s inside!” He exclaimed, gummy smile lighting up his entire face. 
Throwing you the box, you caught it just before it flew into the Thames, shooting the boy a wary glare. “Careful,” you said, looking over the silk ribbon tied into a perfect bow upon the middle. Although there were greater happinesses in life, small ones such as new dresses had you in near giggles.
“I’ve got my very own tailcoat now,” Jisung yelled, ripping open the packaging, about to whip out his new clothing when you waved him to stop.
“Do it inside, Ji, or you’ll ruin your outfit!”
“Trust him to fuck up a perfectly new suit before trying it on,” Changbin’s voice drawled through the dock, who held a box of his own. “Also, the boss is saying to quit dallying and start dressing!”
You obliged, holding onto your box tenderly as you entered a little building beside the main warehouse, consisting of everyone’s rooms and privies. Your eyes glanced to Chris’ bedroom door before pushing open the door to yours, stepping inside to the small, yet decorated space, filled with a board of knives and bows displayed upon one wall and an erratic strokes of paint brushed along the textured surfaces, courtesy of Jisung and Changbin’s lack of motivation to finish your room. An undone bed was tucked into the corner, and a large mirror stood on its curled railing in the other corner, revealing yourself, hands underneath the package.
The sun fell further, sky being painted with dark oranges and purple and pinks, staining your bedroom the colours of soft autumn as you put your package on the bed, untying the ribbon and unboxing the whole treat. 
The first glance of the dress had you smiling in pure incitement.
You brought the dress out of its box, letting it trail free right down to your toes, holding it to arm’s length to examine the details : it was a mysterious, dark red, a colour which instantly attracted attention within the golds of the ballroom. The neck line was low, dipping just enough to tempt until it swelled over for the openings for the arms, black ruffles on the fabric to accentuate off shoulders. The intricate, midnight detail was stitched to perfection, creating a network of swirls upon the bodice before flaring out into the wider skirts. Dear God, you had never seen such an exquisite dress on any noble lady in this damned city.
Your smile grew a little wider. Christopher Bang, once again, has not disappointed. 
You turned it on it’s back, mouth parting in surprise at the silk lacing, undone and trailing down the dress, waiting to be tied and admired. Realising that we’re you to wear this, the entire ball would see your back half-exposed. Even the man you’re to be escorted with.
The thought alone made your insides sing. 
Chris had ordered this dress. He knew what he was acquiring for you, what he asked you to dare. 
Well, you were happy to oblige. Something within you wished to see his eyes blaze at you in the gown.
Closing the curtains of your room, you quickly lit up a metallic lamp, orange light leaking onto your dresser and walls.  Setting the source upon a stool, you began shedding your coat, tossing it on the bed before going to the dresser.
You spent about ten minutes on your hair, lifting locks upward and curling them into a messy bun. You brought out clips of pearls, attaching them at the back of your hair, letting the few stray curls bounce along your ears and neck.
After finishing your hair you began shedding your clothing, excitement rushing in your gut at the thought of wearing the ballgown. When you were adorned in nothing but your underthings, you grabbed onto the arms of the new dress, entering one leg into the opening before sliding the other. You raised the gown, fitting the bodice upon yourself and the short sleeves cuffing just under your shoulders. 
Looking over your shoulder at the back, it was bare before the mirror, saving your rear only with a small dip which was edged with more black lace. The laces for tightening the back still hung uselessly, begging to be entangled with their partners.
And you tried to oblige. You truly did, straining your hands behind your back and trying your hardest to tie the laces with the opposites, of creating a pattern adequate enough for the ball and announce your preparation. Unfortunately for you, your fingers refused to assist you that moment in the evening. 
Letting out an irritated sigh, you called for your friends.
“Jisung!” you shouted, hands endeavouring still. “Changbin!”
Your back still to the door, you waited for the two fools to arrive, but no one came. Again, you called their names, but to no avail, only silence answering you.
“I swear to the Lord,” you muttered, arms now starting to hurt from the stretching. You were about to bring the warehouse down with your roar when you heard the door quietly creak open, the sound of boots emitting against the floor. 
“Ah, finally,” you began as you turned around, hands clutching the bodice of the dress, ready to be irritated by your comrades when all words abandoned your tongue.
There, standing by the door, in all his midnight-tainted glory, was Chris Bang.
You hated how your eyes widened at the sight of him. 
The man always took care of his appearance, but that evening he had truly outdone himself - His infamous woollen longcoat was hung over his arm, exposing his black tailcoat, shining slightly in the flickering lamp light. His waistcoat underneath fit snug, and his white cravat tie peaked just above the lapels, caressing his Adam’s apple. His raven locks were slicked back, a few stray flyaways drooping over his forehead. The gloves were worn still, skin never exposed.
You caught his eyes flicker, something within stirring at seeing you, holding onto your dress in case it fell to the floor. The prolonging silence was shattered when you forced yourself to speak.
“Chris,” you said, because his name was the first thing, the only thing you could comprehend.
He, too, inhaled, slowly. “Jisung and Changbin...they’re outside, so they could not hear.”
“Oh.” 
Another round of silence. God, you wished you could just say something to him, anything which wasn’t a single syllable—
“____.”
You snapped into focus. “Yes?”
“Why did you call them?”
Blinking, you stumbled, “I, I just needed help with…” your hand gestured to your back. “...with the laces.”
There was an indecipherable undertone in his next words. “You could have called me.”
“You’re here now.”
Again. The world-heavy pause upon the both of you. 
A few more seconds ticked by when Chris set his coat upon the dresser chair. His eyes never left yours.
“Turn around.”
You dragged your gaze away from his as you complied, baring your back before him, laces dangling. His footsteps sounded from behind you, and his presence was felt, large and magnetic.
Leather sliding from skin, you sensed his eyes on you, taking in your illuminated skin. You had the greatest urge to shiver, but suppressed it, waiting for his next move.
A small breath hitched in your throat when Chris grabbed onto the first pair of laces and tugged them back, pulling you to him. 
Almost too conveniently, your rear backed against his crotch, and a minute noise escaped you before putting some distance between you two again. You instantly regretted the action, already missing the mere caress of what lay underneath his trousers.
“Stop fidgeting,____,” he ordered, and you immediately stilled, the tug still adamant at your back. Almost disgraceful how quickly you listened to him.
Slowly, he tied the first bow, right to the small of your back. When he started on the second, though, the first touch of his fingers against your back threw you off guard.
You should have expected this. You should have known from the start of his task that his fingers would graze your skin but each caress was like a lick of fire, threatening to singe the skin. Your breath caught in your throat, each time Chris touched you.
Those damned fingers skirted upwards, tying up the laces with such delicacy it nearly softened your stance, if only you didn’t notice his growing warmth. You realised with no small amount of pleasure that he, too, was possibly flustered.
Christopher Bang. Flustered over a girl.
You almost gasped when his hands brought a few stray curls over your shoulder, the dip of your neck exposed as he began the final bow of your gown. The process was excruciatingly slow, each little caress enough for you to turn around and—
And what?
How you desperately wanted to find out. 
Sensing the ribbon curling upon your neck, you understood. 
“It is done,” he whispered, and you shifted at the sigh which kissed your skin. God, he was so close, you were scared that if you turned around his lips—
You did not need to worry when you felt strong hands grip your shoulders, whirling you around in a sudden fashion. Your eyes widened at the close proximity of his face, his beautiful fucking face, and the warm, slender hands on your naked shoulders.
“Chan,” you let yourself say, and you swore the criminal’s eyes darkened. His grip on you tightened.
Perhaps he would have closed the distance, saved you from desperation when someone knocked on the goddamn door.
“___?!”
“Hurry up, the carriage is waiting!”
“Women, honestly—!”
You yelped at the sound of your friends bellowing behind the door. Even Chris looked a little surprised, a slight tick in his jaw as the noise grew louder.
Grabbing onto your skirts, you thundered towards the door, furrowing your brows as you twisted the knob, opening to see the same two idiots, shooting you irritated glares. 
“Is Miss Fancy-Shmancy finally ready?” Changbin drawled, propping a hand upon his hip, tails of his coat dangling behind him.
“Madame certainly took her time,” Jisung went on, sauntering into your bedroom without a care. “Might as well not attend the ball at all—”
His incessant rambling was instantly ceased when he saw Chris standing before you, putting on his gloves. His face was impassive as ever, save for the jaw still tightened.
“Oh, Chris,” he said, and started backing away to the door. “The carriage is outside.”
“Let us go, then,” he only replied as he grabbed his longcoat, strolling out of your bedroom, leaving your skin tingling and heart confused.
Changbin watched Chris exit the building, turning to you with a raised brow. “What was the Mr. Thorns-up-his-arse doing in your room?”
You scoffed at the nickname, picking up the invitations from the dresser. “He was just helping me.”
Jisung’s lips curved into a smirk. “Helping you…?”
“Stop it!” You demanded, but both of the boys could see the blush on your cheeks, even from the dim lamp light. 
“Come on, now,____,” Changbin said, holding out an arm, and hitting Jisung’s arm to do the same. “Let us follow Chris before he shouts at us for keeping you here.”
“Don’t say such things,” you cooed, looping your arms with the two boys. “He will kill you outright instead.”
Laughter emitted from the two, leading you out of the room, down the halls and soon the building.
The carriage was waiting at the entrance of the dock, horses neighing softly at your arrival. Jisung opened the carriage door, letting you climb inside. Chris, inside already, held out a hand, you taking it as he had you sit beside him. His hard figure brushed against your shoulders, reminding you of his fingers on your back not too long ago.
Just like that, you slumped against the seating. That man was truly going to be the death of you.
When the two boys scrambled inside, Chris’ hand thudded against the roof, indicating it to start riding. The carriage obliged to his command. 
The small, interwoven streets widened as the carriage rode upon the main roads, going faster with each signal of Chris’ hand. The inside was alive with Jisung gloating shamelessly over his checkered waistcoat, with Changbin giving reassurances for his “ugly face ruining the clothing.” You laughed at every jab the two threw at each other, but would tense at the erratic touches Chris’ knee would send with every shake of the vehicle. Although the many layers of skirts cushioned these brushes, the blood rushing to your cheeks was evidence enough - everything he did made you so unhinged.
Soon, the big roads led from filthy, back-to-back housing to larger homes, the further the dirty central city strayed from you. A few touches of countryside teased your view when you saw mansions, estates the size of neighbourhoods gracing the surroundings. The carriage began to slow down, as more people adorned in fine attire entered your window view, no doubt going to the same destination as the gang.
The most illuminated estate welcomed you as the carriage stopped right before its vast, colourful gardens, smattering of couples taking intimate walks along the hedges. Chris, noticing the destination, opened the door, Changbin following suit. As the former got out he held out his hand to you. Surprised by his sudden manners, you took his hand, stepping down from the carriage, careful of your skirts as they brushed against the pavement. Jisung and Changbin were right beside you, uttering the driver to come back within a couple of hours.
“Now,” Chris began, bringing your hand to his arm. “You both stay behind me and ____. You wouldn’t need invitations if you both act like our bodyguards.”
“Right behind you, boss,” Jisung chanted, counting his knives inside his coat pockets. Changbin took one of the weapons from him, sliding it up his trouser sleeve, securing it with a leather ankle strap. 
“Right.” the gang all looked at each other, silent understanding passing between all of you.
“Let’s ruffle some rich feathers.”
With your hand still on his arm, the leader of the Sons of Seoul led his gang inside of the massive estate. 
Guards at the entrance shot you grave looks as they stopped you. “Invitations,” they said. You obliged, bringing out the golden paper. They looked over, convinced, and gave them back to you.
You and Chris were about to enter when Jisung and Changbin were stopped behind you. “Protection,” Chris said, but the guards were unconvinced. 
“They need invitations too,” was their answer.
Dread, slight yet present, began to fill your stomach. Has the mission failed before it could even begin?
“I suggest you let them in, too,” Chris only said, black eyes piercing the two men with a glare. “Or my friend hosting this party will hear of this inconvenience.”
That seemed to stir the guards, for they said nothing more, letting your friends enter the estate. Jisung and Changbin made sure to smirk at the men before sauntering inside behind you.
Your eyes, upon stepping inside the main hall, were welcomed with paradise. 
Gold. gold upon gold was painted, lined, moulded everywhere, upon the walls, on the floor, on the painted ceiling, hypnotising you with its kaleidoscopic pattern. Swirls of white and silver journeyed along the walls, and the floor bore solid treasures, sculpted into the ground and shining exquisitely from the chandelier lighting. Hundreds of lords and ladies, businessmen and escorts populated the manor, either being moved by the orchestral band, dancing, helping themselves to food from the lines of dishes or simply mingling among others.
It was the chaos of the rich. A place you didn’t quite fit in.
You stole a glance at the man beside you. Even though he looked contained as ever, you felt his arm tightening all over. Perhaps he knew he did not belong in this world either.
The grim understanding was cut off when Changbin’s shrill gulp sounded from behind you.
“Scones!”
The man immediately dashed towards the food section, earning blatant laughter from his friends as Jisung stepped beside Chris. “Once he’s done stuffing himself, we’ll get into positions.” He skirted his eyes over the buzzing crowd. “I have already spotted some of Carter’s men in different corners of the hall, so we can see where they’re going to go.”
“Any signs of Carter?” you asked, already feeling suggestive eyes on your body, the dark red curves of your figure. 
“He’ll show himself soon,” Chris promised, beginning to take a step forward. “The bastard thrives in attention.” He turned to Jisung. “Make yourself scarce.”
He then saw Changbin making himself much too comfortable with the jam scones rapidly declining in his wake. “And for God’s sake, control Changbin.”
Jisung shook his head, mocking a salute before strolling to his friend. You and him were left to your own activities, and soon you felt the tug of his body, leading you further into the hall.
You looked up to see him scouring the room. His brows furrowed slightly, that stiffness felt underneath your fingertips. “Chris,” you called to him, and were answered with an uncertain stare.
“I’m alright,” he said, walking along the lines of the dance floor, looking away when he gave you the false assurance. 
You did not know what was going on. In other missions his composure would never falter — this was what he was so notorious for, being calm despite the anarchy around him. Never before had you seen him so tense.
“Stop it.”
You blinked back into reality. “What?”
“You’re doing it again,” he hissed, raking his hand through his hair. “Looking at me that way. Like I’m about to snap.”
A pout formed on your lips, looking up at him underneath your lashes. “I can sense you’re distressed.” You squeezed his arm in comfort. “I cannot help if I worry for you, Chris.” 
With small surprise, you found him soften, only slightly. “I just…” he sighed in exasperation. “I hate parties.”
You understood the connotations. Wealthy parties. The men and women who throw them. 
“And I, too,” you agreed, earning a soft snort from the man. Your heart warmed a little at the sound, and thankfully the tension faded between the two of you, not necessarily from each other but from the socialites around you.
Your heart, however, received no such rest, beating much too loud for your liking. 
The two of you took another turn of the room before a low, arrogant drawl paused you both in your tracks.
“Mr Christopher Bang.”
You and your leader both sighed simultaneously. 
Turning, you tilted your head upwards to none other than ‘Scar’ Carter, smirking ridiculously down at the the two of you. He was something out of a children’s book, the grotesque villains with wanned skin and beady looks, ready to pounce and make you disappear without you ever realising. Although young, he looked to be in his mid-forties, unkept locks and curled moustache, being played by his fingers. 
He held out his other hand, extending the smile to the man beside you. “Always a goddamned blessing to see you.”
Chris assessed his hand for a moment before he let go of your grip on his arm, slipping off his gloves. His own olive coloured hands were roughened, no doubt from years of manual labour. He took Carter’s hand, shaking the greeting in place, and the latter turned his enemy’s hold, looking over at the new image inked upon the hand.
“What is this, Chrissy?” He mused, the nickname causing the said-man’s lips to twitch. “Some flowery poetry?”
Your eyes strayed to what he meant; just under his thumb, where the joint began, was a tattoo, inked deeply in a cursive hand. It was a phrase you had never knew the meaning of, nor had you asked, but the Latin was beautiful on his textured skin.
NON DUCOR DUCO.
“Not poetry, Carter,” he only said, tracing his sole tattoo with a finger. “But something I live by.”
Despite Carter towering over the man, Chris Bang pinned him with a piercing glare. His signature phantom smile appeared on his lips. 
“I am not led. I lead.”
The giant’s shit-eating grin faltered. You could not help but let a small chuckle escape at his reaction. 
And maybe you shouldn’t have shown amusement, because when he focused his animalistic gaze upon you, you had the sudden urge to hold onto the man beside you again.
“Ah, Miss ____,” he jeered, mocking a deep bow which you did not return. “Chris’ little...protégée.”
He then held out his hand to you, and you knew it was not to shake the gnarled fingers. “Would you do me the honour of dancing with you?”
You scoffed, anger bubbling within your veins. How dare he even ask you, after all the trouble he had caused for the gang? Smirking as if it was all a little game.
Your mouth parted, ready to reject him outright when a warm hand settled on your back. 
Chris’ fingers stroked the exposed skin, skirting over the lacing, and despite the heavenly feeling, you knew what this signal really meant. 
Distraction. This would be the perfect opportunity to divert Carter’s attention while Chris joined in the other’s search. Listening to the instrumental, you realised that would spare them another five minutes.
Reigning in your fury, you offered the bastard a thin-lipped smile before taking his hand, already missing the mere touch of another seconds before.
Carter led you to the dance floor among the other dancers, you hardly radiating the same enthusiasm as the others accompanying you. The man’s other hand, one still holding yours, snaked around your waist, and you hated how it felt against your back, pure distaste staining your features as he tried to impersonate the idle lace curling that Chris did.
As if it physically hurt, you propped a hand upon his shoulder, and when the music began, the game started.
The giant kept ogling at you as the sly grin appeared on his lips. “I must say, I am very envious of Chris.”
You matched his stare. “Of course you would,” you only said, trying your best to sound like your leader, who was an embodiment of calmness. “You can never be the man Chris is.”
“Oh, I did not mean by what he is, my lady,” he corrected. “I meant by what he has.”
He pulled you to him, much to close, and you hissed as the fingers behind you played on your back. “He is much too lucky to possess a creature like you, Miss ____.”
Good God. If he endeavoured to make you as uncomfortable as possible, then he was doing a splendid job. You regretted ever listening to Chris, but for the plan, you will do what is necessary.
As if on cue, you felt dark, piercing eyes on you. By the little hairs which stood at the back of your neck, there was no doubt who watched over you, murmuring progress with Jisung as he sipped wine on a tightly held flute. 
“Tell me, sweet,” he began once more, making you lose your thoughts, turning about the room as the music went on. “Why do you work for a man like him?”
You sighed at the question. Truly this man did not know how to initiate small talk. “Why is that any of your concern?”
“Because I’ve seen you in action,” he answered, and you could not mistake the awe that threatened to expose in his voice. “You have incredible potential, my lady, and it pains me that Chris does not use you properly. You waste your efforts in a silly gang.”
His condescending speech made you dig his nails in his hand. “Careful, Carter,” you seethed, watching his face crumple in pain from your action. “The silly gang you speak of will not hesitate to obliterate your entire organisation. And neither will I.”
Rage flashed in his eyes as he grinned at your claim. “I doubt the esteemed Christopher Bang would even let you participate,” he drawled, grazing his fingers against your back. “You being his whore is enough for him.”
You parted your mouth in slight shock. The reaction quickly evaporated with pure, unadulterated fury. A lot of people speculate your true relationship with Chris, but your own demeaning always struck deep. How dare people think that you only have the power you have because you slept with the greatest criminal in the city? 
With your head raging, you sent your low heel down upon Carter’s boot, a yelp escaping the man as his dancing faltered, grip on you loosening. Fortunately for you, the orchestra smoothed their music to a close, and small applause rang around the room, you joining as you smiled at Carter’s slight groaning.
When the giant looked at you again, all his arrogance was gone, instead a face of wrath. “You bitch-”
You were sure he was going to strike, despite hundreds in the ballroom. Even your smug demeanour dampened when you saw his bear-like hand raise when its journey was paused.
Ceased completely as Chris’ hand wrapped around Carter’s wrists.
Your leader’s smile was sharp, like a decorated dagger. “Are you already creating a scene, just when you finished the first dance?”
Carter, dumbfounded by his enemy’s sudden presence, waved off the foreign grip on his hand. “You are never going to find the documents,” he crowed, glaring at the two of you.
Chris, the magnificent bastard, only kept his magnetic smirk as he took your hand, enveloping his fingers with yours. “We shall see about that,” he promised, and dipped his head in adieu, turning on his heel and taking you with him. 
You felt your heart flutter when his grip on you stayed, even when Carter stomped off into the crowd. “Bastard,” you hissed. A hum of agreement followed. 
Soon, music began to play a sensual tune, and you looked to the couples joining in the main circle of the floor. You made to leave that area when you felt the man refused to be led. 
You looked back, noticing an uncertain emotion swirling in his eyes. “The dance is about to begin.”
“So?” he merely said, hands still clasping yours. The people around you began to take positions. 
“Chris,” you got out. “You do not dance.”
A small smile enveloped his mouth at the claim. He answered in wrapping a hand around you, making you suck in a breath. You caught sight of the tattoo inked on his skin as he raised his hold on. NON DUCOR DUCO.
I am not led. I lead.
“You’re right,” he admitted. As the first tune of the violin settled in the ballroom, the man took a step. “But I let it slide on special occasions.”
You did not reply, only staring at him as you happily let him turn you about the dance floor.
Your assumptions were correct - Chris Bang was a wonderful dancer. The man already possessed a natural smoothness in his usual movement, but the way he led you across the room gave fluidity another meaning entirely. His hand on your back was an anchor to reality, keeping you from dreaming away in the skies above, and his fingers, interlocked with yours, were a silent promise that he was never letting you go. 
You were so caught up in your fantasies that you did not hear what Chris said until he called your name. 
“____.”
You perked up, raising your brows. “Yes?
“Did Carter say anything to you?” His fingers on your exposed skin began to caress you, and it took a lot within you to stay calm. “You were seething while you both danced.”
Oh, so he was watching you. The information didn’t help your nerves. “He was being his usual, charming self,” you drawled, careful of your feet. 
He paused a bit at your unhelpful answer. “I see,” he got out, index curling with the ribbon of your back. You let out a shuddered breath, not going unnoticed by the man. 
You changed the subject, focusing on the mission. “Are Jisung and Changbin still searching for the documents?”
Chris, on the note, twirled you delicately, and brought you back into his arms. “They have discovered the hideout, and have taken down half the men,” he informed, and you sighed in relief. “They’ll find what we’re looking for soon.”
“I hope so, too,” you murmured, listening to the music ascend in its pitch. 
So much finery radiated in this room. As your eyes drifted to the surroundings once more, you became slightly envious of the family fortunate enough to reside in this estate, and drink in the liquid gold splattered everywhere in the vast hall. Complaints were heard from a rather nasty woman, who screamed at a young servant for spilling wine on her oh so expensive dress, and the jewellery which glittered upon necks and ears. 
This. you hated this. Despised the wealth which accumulated in this ball, this entire neighbourhood. Not months ago you were about to die from the lack of food in your stomach. No doubt these people simply relished another one of these many balls, occurring every season.
It was the only reason the Sons of Seoul existed in the first place. To battle the ranks of the rich, and establish a sense of justice which had long faded from London.
Perhaps Chris sensed your growing disgust at the environment, for he sighed. “I hate these people.”
You nearly smiled at how similar you both think.
His touches still had you nearing closer to him as he continued, “I hate how everyone here can simply enjoy themselves without a care in the world. I hate the Mayor for letting this chaos happen as he sits back on his arse, corruption spiking under his office.”
His anger grew. “I hate that pig-headed prick Carter and all the trouble he’s brought me. I hate that he stole those documents and constantly fucks with me as if we two had not crawled out of the same hellhole.
“And God,” he snapped, pure venom now lacing his tongue, “I hate how he was touching you as if you were no one but his.”
Your eyes widened at the confession.
He groaned out in frustration, fingers tightening on your hand. “I hate how Jisung and Changbin walked in on us this evening. Despise that the moment I was about to close the distance they burst through the door, leaving me helpless. And I hate feeling helpless.”
You did not know what to say, what words to comfort him with. Not when you were thinking the exact same thing, and felt the exact same agitation, particularly at your core.
The man leaned in, eyes heavy lidded. “You know what I hate the most, ____?”
Gulping, you let out a little, “What?” afraid of what he was going to reveal.
His tongue ran along his bottom lip, fingers continuing their teasing.
“I-” he seethed, gripping your back tightly. “Fuck, I hate how ravishing you look in that dress.”
You parted your mouth in shock, blushing the colour of roses. “Why do you hate that?” you only asked, breath almost lost in your lungs as your blood began to thrum beneath your skin.
His eyes lost all dreamy light when a small curve enveloped his lips. “Because, my dear ____,” he muttered hoarsely, each breath ragged, “It makes me think of all the things I want to do to you.”
The strong hand on his back was felt much more, fingers playing with the laces of your dress. You nearly cried out in front of a hundred people over their idle play, and his bold, bold statement.
Chris relished in your whimpering reaction. “Aren’t you going to ask me?” he whispered, leaning in till his mouth hovered near your ear. “Do you not want to know what I wish to do to you?”
“What,” you rasped out, grip tightening over his neck. “What are you going to do?”
His husky chuckling nearly sent you over the edge. “I’ll find a nice little space, away from Carter and all these people,” he began, breath caressing your skin. “Then I’ll kiss you slowly, like so.” he pressed a chaste kiss underneath your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “These hands of mine will roam all over, but they will gladly trail up your legs, ____.
“And God, when my hands stop at your sopping cunt, I’ll make it cry with my fingers.” He drummed his fingers on your back. “One.” Tap. “Two.” Tap. “Three of them.” Tap. “Perhaps you’d like more.”
You whined into his shoulder, feet stumbling as you clung onto him tighter. “M-more,” you pleaded quietly, so careful to keep dancing, move along to the music. 
“Of course you would,” he only cooed in your ear, and you were scared you would collapse over his words. “Luckily for you, I wouldn’t be finished with you either.”
Your hand, clasped in his his, squeezed at his words. “Chris, please—”
“Yes, just like that,” the man mused, whirling you on the dance floor. “Just like that, you’ll beg me to send you over the edge, but I won’t let you be satisfied so easily.” 
On God and all his subjects, if he did not cease his filth you were going to come onto the floor by his mere words. You could tell Chris noticed, almost reading your mind as the ghost of a smirk widened. “Already afraid, love?”
Love. 
Dear, fucking God.
“You see, ____,” he muttered, leading you to the final round of the song, the steps of the dance going faster. “I won’t let you be satiated with just my fingers.”
And as he broke his hold on you, twirling you with his tattooed hand, he pulled you to him, one last time, crushing you against his granite chest. 
His eyes bore into yours when the last string of the violin wailed around the hall. All you could see was pure, unadulterated desire.
“I will have you writhing with my cock.”
Your eyes never left Chris’ as the music finally came to a close, gaze blurring at the dark promise. Applause scattered around the ballroom, yet your hands stayed upon his arm, the other enveloped in his.
You caught the words once more under his thumb. NON DUCOR DUCO.
Indeed you do.
“Chris,” you breathed out, waiting for him to let you go. He did no such thing.
Feeling a few suspicious eyes on you, your feet backed away from the man, hands escaping the feeling he emitted underneath your touch. 
A whine threatened to escape you when you saw his desire had not dampened. His hands shook, only slightly, and your stomach erupted into a million butterflies, journeying lower and lower. 
You wanted him. You wanted him so badly you feared you would faint on the dance floor. 
Excusing yourself, you hastened your footsteps, sending a few smiles to passerbys as you picked up a flute of champagne, hurrying down long hallways, catching a few couples leaning towards each other. When you found a grand wooden cabinet beside another door, no doubt a guest room, you slumped next to it, breathing loud and ragged, too affected by a certain man’s eyes and the hidden intentions underneath. You drank the entire champagne in one gulp, propping the flute on a servant’s tray as he rushed by.
“____!”
Gasping, you turned to the source of the voice. The voice which filled you with such unexplainable hunger you had to clench your thighs as it drew nearer.
Footsteps thudded against the carpet, and you squirmed at the sight of Chris Bang, storming towards you with a ferocity which had your knees near buckling.
“Where,” he began, voice an octave lower as he stood not a foot from you, smacking his hands against the wall, caging you with his presence. “Were you trying to lead me?”
“Somewhere where they cannot see us,” you responded, excitement clear in your voice. The ballroom chatter was still within your range, so technically, anyone could wonder down these halls, look over the cabinet and catch you both. 
The throbbing inside you didn’t particularly care. 
“And what do you want me to do,____,” he murmured, and his voice was glazed with pure lust,  “Which the world cannot see?”
“I…” slight shame tried to course through your body but the overflowing desire was too strong. Not when your tongue was not afraid to voice what was in your heart the moment you first saw him. “I want you to do all those things you said. I want you to ruin me.”
And perhaps that was all he needed, when Christopher Bang pressed his lips against yours and answered your prayers.
He was instantly rewarded with your surprised whine, drowned out by the movement of his mouth as his hands left the wall, holding onto your face. His thumbs caressed your cheeks as he led the fiery kiss, opening your mouth to let the little noises escape.
“Chris,” you tried to rasp out, but his lips refused once more as he tilted your head, gaining full access and truly discovering the sheer pleasure oozing from the swell of your lips. God, he had gone through every experience which gave him a sense of thrill, but the kiss he shared with you brought him a new, foreign high — as if he tried the drugs he had seen on the streets for the first time, and becoming addicted on the first dose. 
You broke the kiss, gasping for air as the two of you shared a carnal gaze, chests rising at an unsteady rhythm. Chris was ruthless, only sparing you for a few seconds before pouncing back in on your mouth, this time tongue playing along, asking to be let inside and slide along the inner workings. You would have been a fool to refuse him.
The moment you opened your lips for him his tongue slithered inside, sliding it along the roof of your mouth, while his hands left your face and instead gripped onto your waist, driving you further against the wall, snuffing out any distance which dared come between you and him.
A slightly moan bubbled within your throat when he began to roughen your lips, capturing your tongue before closing the seam of your mouth within his own, repeating the action until you didn’t know whether you were sane or absolutely fucking crazy.
You were sure straight after when one of his hands began sliding down. Down. He hurriedly broke the kiss, letting out an angry groan at the never ending skirts which met with his fingers. “Fuck this dress,” he cursed as he descended a little, peppering kisses upon the corner of your mouth, your jaw, your neck, trailing until he found the hem of your skirts.
Bunching them up with his one hand, he lifted the fabric, baring your legs to the dimmed chandelier light from the main hall. His hand trailed right up to your core, a single layer hiding it from Chris’ fingers. The poor, soaked fabric could not ever compete, when the criminal, with a single finger as he scattered kisses upon your face, hooked under the lacey underwear, sliding it down your thighs. So much desperation lurked he did not even bother to slide it down to your ankles,  a chuckle rasping out of him as his fingers skimmed your upper thighs to find them dripping with the suppressed arousal.
“My poor, poor, darling,” he whispered in a menacing tone, the other hand caressing your face, “Couldn’t contain yourself for me?”
“Ch-chan,” you heard yourself say, because at this point your soul was not present, probably lurking in seventh heaven where this man was taking you. 
Hearing his name on your slurred mouth only had him plunging the first finger inside you. 
You let out an obscenely loud moan, which was immediately followed by hushing. “Don’t make a sound,” he demanded, smiling slyly at your whimpering, “Or else I stop. Understand?”
You could not nod fast enough, and he huffed out a laugh before sliding the second finger in, rubbing against your slit, drawing circles upon your throbbing skin, testing the rather sticky waters of you and your fucked out state. 
Satisfied, he delved the two fingers in deeper, pulsating against your walls until they hit a certain spot which had you crying out in pleasure. Chris’ heavy lidded warning flashed in his eyes.
You nearly cried when he began to slide his fingers out over your moaning, your hand immediately stopping him from pulling out further. “Ch-Chan,” you pleaded, pleaded like the whores you heard on the docks, but you didn’t care, did not give a single fuck when those fingers needed to be inside you again. “Chan, please, I’m sorry—”
“One more fuck up, ____, and these—” his fingers plunged back into you once more, hitching you upwards with the sheer force, “—will be back out.”
Nodding hastily, you left your hand on his wrist. Chris continued to work so deliciously inside you that it took every ounce of strength left in you not to bring the manor down with your moaning. The whimpering could not be contained, but the criminal let that slide, finding great contentment every time you begged for more.
He curled his slender fingers, acquainting himself with that same bloody spot which had you seeing stars. Your hands gripped onto his neck for stability, nails digging into his shirt. How you wanted it off, along with all the damned layers he adorned.
The way he played with your sweet spot had you feeling heavy, a pleasured ball of pain forming at your lower back. You knew you were being led to an edge, an edge you could not, did not want to escape, and when you pulled away from Chris, looking into his eyes, he instantly understood.
“Oh my, love,” he simpered, his free hand thumbing your cheek. “Does someone want to get fucked against the wall? When I’m not even finished with them yet?”
Tears lined your eyes, cunt throbbing almost painfully around his fingers. “Chan, I’m going to—ah!” you cut off, closing your eyes as you barely held on to your last grips of sanity. “Chan.”
Your weakened, fucked out demeanour had the most dangerous man in London fearing for his own senses. He wished nothing more than you screaming his name for the whole city to hear, and with you, looking at him like that…
Oh, he was definitely going to drive you over the edge.
Christopher Bang nearly carried out his promise when a shrill call interrupted you two. 
“CHRIS! ____!”
“WHERE ARE YOU—?”
Your lust-glazed stare cracked as you blinked. “Chan,” you said his name, but the man let out an enraged roar. You felt the hollow emptiness when those golden fingers were pulled out of you, sticky residue coating his skin. The footsteps grew closer, the volume of the shouting increasing. 
Chris brought out a white handkerchief, cleaning your mess on his fingers rather aggressively. “I’m going to fucking kill them,” he guttered out, making your legs tremble. To your utmost misery you felt the orgasm, so close before, fading from existence, and you made a silent vow to break Jisung and Changbin’s legs the moment all of this was over.
Speaking of the Devil, the two hastened, opening all doors and closing them till the two stumbled upon the both of you, infuriated and worryingly turned on.
Changbin looked at the deflated expression on both of yours faces. “Chris? ____?” His eyes narrowed, trying to work out the reasons for the slight electric atmosphere he suddenly entered in. “Are you both...alright?”
“Perfectly,” the man answered in a ragged hiss, sliding on his gloves again, smoothing over his raven locks. “Now why the fuck are you both here?”
The two boys did not understand their leader’s anger. Choosing to let the snipe slide, Jisung said, “We’ve caught Carter.”
That seemed to send you and Chris back in reality. Well, not really, when your core still throbbed, the pleasure fading with each passing second.
“Where is he?” Chris flattened out his coat. “Where are the documents?”
Changbin brought out a small file from inside his waistcoat, holding it out for the former. “Right here.”
Chris took the file, skimming through the contents. His previously angered expression relaxed, just a fraction, and he held onto it as he set his powerful gaze on you all. 
“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
The four of you managed to slip away easily, you trying your hardest to fix yourself after the whole fiasco in the hallway. Your heart was still running a mile per minute, refusing to calm as your mind relived the events. The original carriage which you all arrived in was now accompanied with another one, with a dark figure hunched over from the window’s view.
“We threw the giant fucker in another carriage,” Changbin said, laughing as he recalled the takedown with Jisung. “Man could not believe he was failing!”
Chris ignored his story, turning to you all as he stood before Carter’s carriage. “You three, take the free one,” he ordered, his eyes rooted on you. “I will journey home with him.”
“But Chris,” you began, taking a step towards him, “Let me come with you.”
You caught a glimpse of the desire which swirled in his eyes, not long ago, and perhaps that was why he held your arm in his now gloved hand. 
“Go,” he only said. “I have a few things to say to him alone.”
After letting you go, nodding at the boys behind you, Chris Bang stepped inside the first carriage, slamming the door shut. The metal wheels screeched as the whole thing began to move, accelerating away.
You watched the carriage fade from view, Jisung and Changbin stepping beside you.
“What happened, ____?” the former asked, the other trying to comfort you with his gaze. 
Silence was their only answer, as you turned on your heel, climbing inside your designated ride and watched the stars twinkle from the window.
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The two members of the gang really tried their best.
As you all journeyed home without your leader, the pair told their tale of how they took down Carter and his men, Jisung adding exaggerated gasps as Changbin demonstrated each kill he thrust upon his victims. You offered them a few laughs, giving them your attention, but really your mind was somewhere else, specifically a midnight-tainted criminal who nearly brought you your undoing.
You were insane. Insane as you thought of him, insane as you remembered how wonderfully he had you writhing over him, just by his fingers. The mindless pondering alone had your cunt pulsating, and you deserved an award for how unaffected you acted with your friends. 
Soon, the carriage slowed to a stop, and you perked up, not realising you had already arrived home. 
You waited for the boys to exit before you stepped out of the carriage, the only light on the docks emitting from lamps and the night sky, reflected on the surface of the river. The first carriage was already there when your feet met the concrete floor, and when you turned to the man who reigned in your mind he had his signature expression, an aloof distaste as he walked over to his gang. 
“Jisung, Changbin,” he called, and the boys responded. “Lock the carriage door,” he ordered, jerking his chin towards his transport. “We will bring him out in the morning.”
“Chris, should we not throw him in the cellar?” Changbin glared at Carter’s direction. “Bastard might escape.”
He only slid his hands in his pockets, you catching the dried blood on his gloves. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” he said, striking a step towards the building. “He’s not going to disturb us tonight. I can promise you that.”
Jisung cursed low along with you, only watching the man walk back to the bedrooms. Bidding goodnight to your friends, you followed Chris’ trail, opening the door and stepping inside the hallway.
You saw him before his bedroom door, bringing out a rusted key. His eyes slid to you as your feet brought you to your entrance. You looked back, waiting as Chris unlocked his room and began to enter.
He turned back, something dark and twisted still lurking in his eyes.
You waited, so patiently at the words you wished to hear, of him finally ruining you.
Instead, you received something else entirely.
“Goodnight, ____.”
And closed the door behind him.
Your heart dropped. 
Fell to the floor, and shattered under the criminal’s bloodied boots. 
The light of the hallway flickered as you stood rooted to the doorway, eyes staring at Chris’ door as if looking at it hard enough would get him to change his mind.
What did you know. The man is not led by exterior forces. Only by his own will.
When you gathered up the strength to the slam the door shut, you slumped against the wood, hating yourself for the tears which threatened to break the lines of your eyes. This was pathetic — utterly disgusting that you were about to cry over his decision.
But you could not help it. You were so enraptured by him. Hell, you were ready to throw yourself in the fires of damnation for him, as he whispered filth all the while rutting against you. Why had that suddenly changed?
“Argh!” You screamed, stomping over to the lamp, light now long extinguished. You relit it’s spark, illuminating the room once more, and set it on the stool before recklessly plucking out the pearls in your hair, a few tears daring to trail down your cheeks. 
Fuck him. Fuck him for making you so rattled. Fuck him for having that effect on you.
You looked into your mirror and cursing yourself for the disheveled appearance. Again, the consequences for letting yourself fall for him.
“To hell with you Bang Chan,” you cursed. 
You were about to untie your dress when your bedroom door was nearly ripped off its hinges. 
Flinching, you grabbed the dagger on your dresser, raised to cut down whoever stupid enough to barge in on an assassin at midnight.
You were met with Christopher Bang. 
And the disorder he brought with him.
Chaos reigned in his figure; his tousled locks, his star-struck expression, his rolled-up sleeves and his pandemonic eyes, all working together and against each other to create the man you had never seen in your life. 
Good God. What had happened to him?
“Chan?” You got out, dagger now brought down. He said not a single word in response as he slammed the door shut, hard enough for the entirety of London to hear. 
Instead, he imprisoned you with his stare, almost giving you his chaos. The chaos you had always shared with him since the moment he picked you off the streets.
No, he said not one word — only took the steps needed to march towards you. You could only watch with widening eyes when he grabbed your face in his rugged hands and collided his lips against yours. 
You did not even hesitate to comply, hands grabbing onto his shirt, pulling him as close as you possibly could, so afraid that he would disappear from your grip if you dared let go. With the way he moved his mouth along yours, however, already opening up the familiar workings, you had a feeling he was not going to abandon you now.
When he broke away, breathing already erratic, his hands slid down to your neck, thumbs caressing the length of your throat. “I couldn’t,” he started, and he was sprinkling kisses all over your face. “I couldn’t leave.”
“I was scared, Chan,” you confessed, fisting the material harder. “I thought you truly did.”
His eyes focused on you. Within the turmoil, there was a promise. “Never,” he whispered, leaning in. “Never again.”
And suddenly his lips were on you, and the desperation was so rooted he nearly stole the very breath from your lungs. The sheer intensity, the longing implied broke your heart to the point you attached yourself to him, wrapping your arms around him and refusing to ever let him go.
The rather soft kiss began to heat up, as Chris broke the seam of your lips, swirling your tongue in his, already receiving incoherent praise from deep down your throat, making the man smile against his lips as he continued. 
His hands slid further down, right to the small of your back, where he began to untie all the little bows he created for you at the dawn of the evening, the little touches of fire singeing you still. It was fascinating how effortlessly he loosened all the laces, fingers sliding through the patterns until one by one they fluttered down, until the dark red dress slackened around your chest. 
A small gasp escaped you as Chris, while creating a trail of kisses down your jaw, right down to your neck, grabs the dress from your sides, hitching it down until it falls to the floor. Leaving you practically naked save for the scraps covering your dangerously soiled underwear. 
Chris paused from his ravishing, taking a much too long look at your skin, glowing from the lamp light, and before he could stare any longer you brought your arms to your chest, suddenly becoming a little too embarassed to let him see you at your most vulnerable. 
The supposedly unfeeling criminal, however, nearly broke into a smile at your flustered nature, and grabbed onto your wrists, opening the lock to your breasts, peaked by his actions, and the thought of what was to come.
The soiled underwear was about to drip at this point.
“You’re exquisite,” was all he said, making you almost burst into tears at the praise. You pressed a long, heart shattering kiss upon his mouth, and he responded perfectly, hands sliding to your naked waist, each drum of his fingers like a tug towards a dangerous edge. 
Things began to take a turn, open mouthed kisses being plastered on the skin of your throat as the man pushed you back, further and further until the back of your knees hit the bed, stopping you in his tracks. His grip on your waist directed downwards, planting you on the mattress as his mouth descended to your collarbone, down and down until he licked your peaked nipple in a way that had you moaning obscenely loud. His husky chuckle resonated along your skin, still not pausing his trail until he hit the end of the dip of your cunt, barricaded by the fabric. 
The moment he looked up at you, that alone made you nearly undo yourself. By the increasing volume of your breathing, Chris seemed to realise so too.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he got out, watching you whimper at each touch caressing your hips. “Already about to come when I haven’t even done anything?”
“Ch-Chan,” you pleaded, wishing for those damned fingers of his to plunge inside of you. The son of a bitch was taking his time, making you wait knowing it pained you to stay like this. “Chan—”
His name on your tongue had him gritting his teeth, hands on each of your side grabbing onto your lace, and sliding your underwear down, all the way till it fell free from your legs and threw it across the room, forgotten when Chris parted his mouth at the moistened treasure between your legs. 
Those roughened hands steeled their grip on your thighs, pulling you closer till you sat right on the edge of the bed, cunt mere inches from his face. You could not even comprehend the insanity of this situation, that the hidden fantasies you dreamed of shamelessly were morphing into reality right before your eyes.
“So, so pretty,” he murmured, blowing a little air on your slick folds, earning himself a sucked in breath from his truly. “So pretty and wet, and all because of me.”
You let out a ragged breath, words of filth sounding so foreign on his tongue. It was not like he didn’t talk like the sailors living near you on the docks, but these dirty words and dirtier intentions, now all directed at you, made you feel so flustered, in a wondrous way you could not possibly describe. All you wanted was for him to keep singing this filth till you blacked out.
Chris, with the force of his hands, spread your thighs a little wider, and without warning broke his tongue from the seam of his lips, planting it upon your slit and moving it slowly over the surface.
That alone made you cry out in ecstasy.
But that was only a test, a taking on of foreign surroundings before truly welcoming himself, and by God, did he welcome himself in as more than a guest, when that tongue slid deeper and performed strokes which had you seeing all the stars in the universe. 
What was first slow teasing then became a starved hunt, tongue relishing in the sweet arousal you emitted, lapping it up brazenly as if he had been wanting to do this for a long, long time. Your blubbering grew louder with every lick, fisting the sheets behind you with such ferocity you were sure they’d tear. 
And if that wasn’t painstakingly enough, the man spread your legs a little wider, his tattooed hand, two fingers out, sliding straight inside you, making you mewl at the way they tightened they walls they journeyed in. Curling, just like they did earlier in the evening, they took their time finding the certain little spot which had you bringing the house down with your cries. 
“Ch-Chan, please, please, I’m going to—AH!” You rasped out, when the said-criminal found the sweet little undoing of yours and stroked your fingers along the sensitive spot, making that bundle of pleasure resonating in your back appear once more, like a low throbbing begging to be released.
His tongue had not given you any breaks, still working ruthlessly along your clit and you cried for him to give you that sweet release, to just let you come but he had not let you be satisfied this easily. No, he wanted you writhing underneath him, wanted the final ruination to be from underneath his trousers, angered as it outlined against his leather.
You craned your head back, screaming out his name because you knew all else had abandoned you. “Chan!” Looking down, his mouth very much occupied with your cunt. Your orgasm was reaching, was on the very edge, and if he kept working on you like this he was on his way to taste the consequences of his actions.
Something about that image made you want it as a reality with a worryingly strong intensity. 
“Chan, I’m going to—” you were about to warn but were interrupted by a squeeze of your thigh, done by yours truly as if he knew. And as if he knew, the two fingers began pumping much faster, harmonising along with his tongue, and the two actions at once, fucking you with that rapidity was so pleasurable that, with the first earth-shattering cry of the night, you were driven over the edge, releasing your orgasm straight into the criminal’s face.
You felt the work of his fingers slow down, along with his tongue, that with one, final lick, he retreated from your cunt, fingers still inside you as they comforted your aching core with slow, soothing strokes. 
When he looked up at you, though, with your residue mostly upon his mouth, scattered on his cheeks, and basically a bit of everywhere, that sight alone nearly caused you to come all over again. 
Perhaps that was his intentions. 
Because when he licked his lips clean of your mess, ever so slowly, as if enjoying your orgasm like a man starved, you instantly saw in his eyes that this night was not over yet. 
“Already so good, so wonderful,” he mused, slipping his fingers out, both hands now resting on your thighs. “Coming so quick even though I had been saving for the last.”
You knew exactly what he meant, but still had the nerve to ask, “The last?”
He raised a groomed brow, and that gesture was so breathtaking, more so when he raised himself slightly, so he knelt eye-level to you. “Don’t act oblivious, love,” he mused, leaving your thighs to your disappointment, but quickly diminishing when his fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt, slowly popping upon, each patch of skin being revealed like a show of your own. “We both know this isn’t how it’s going to end.”
Shivers crawled down your spine, but you only watched as the man finished undoing his shirt, peeling it off of him and throwing it amongst the other clothing. You nearly let spit trail down your chin at the sheer finery of his muscle alone, sharpened at his arms, his chest all the way down to his v-line, which dipped dangerously low. With no small amount of pride, you also noticed the large, angry outline of Chris’ cock, begging to be set free. 
The man caught you blatantly staring, and a shit-eating grin twisted his glistening lips. “You may do the honours if you’re so keen.”
Blushing, you mumbled a shut up, but was captured by Chris’ lips, tasting your own arousal on his tongue, as his grip on you led you further into the bed, while you fumbled on the buttons of his trousers, popping them open one by one when you broke from the kiss, your turn to shower him with more along the veiny expanse of his neck as you pulled his trousers down, tossing them among the pile.
When you saw the slight-stained underwear of his, you felt the familiar throbbing again, so affected by how you affected him. Noticing your apparent pride, he pressed his lips upon you in a searing kiss, peeling off any last scrap of clothing and forgetting that too among the other clothing.
And by God, when Chris Bang’s cock escaped from his underthings your mouth actually watered at the sheer size it bore. Husky laughter resonated in your ears, and you flushed the colour of blood when he caught you staring much too audaciously than he would have imagined. 
“Already fantasising about my cock?” He slurred, the tattooed hand curling stray hairs from your sweat-slick, flushed face. The way you scrunched your nose, clearly flustered by his comment, melted his stone cold heart, as he caressed your cheeks with his fingers. 
You did not answer him, only whispering his name along his skin, waiting and waiting for the man to drive that force home inside you. “Chan,” you murmured, and the name you kept saying like a religious chant, like it was the only word that mattered, was what brought him to grip his cock, directing it against your entrance, the still slick folds which grew more wet every time the tip caressed the sensitive skin. “Chan, please—”
“Please what?” He demanded, demanded because he needed to hear you precisely want you wanted. The words he practically prayed would be on your tongue the moment he kissed you for the first time this evening.
Obliging him was like second nature. “Please fuck me, Chan,” you breathed out, holding onto his shoulders, knowing you were going to need a hell of a good grip for what was about to arrive. “Please, just ruin me with your cock.”
A malicious smile curled upon his lips. “Good, good girl,” he purred, and began the descend which you dreamed of the very first night you realised you were ridiculously attracted to him.
His cock slid inside you, and with a soul-wrenching whine, was perfectly snug as the journey went on, and on, and on, until you were certain you could not take anymore, despite the man retaining a few inches. He was slow at first, making sure you were not going to be pained by this action. Although your nails dug into the granite muscle of his shoulders, you only egged him on. “M-more,” you only said, and he readily obliged, until you felt him all around you in your body, as if he had filled you up to the brim. 
“Ready?” He asked, and when you nodded, he rested his forehead against yours as gently, he began to pull out. 
You nearly whined at the lack of inches filling you up, but then he brought his cock back in, creating this hypnotic rhythm which was so unimaginably ethereal you felt yourself float amongst the clouds. Each thrust out and thrust in was a drive in and out of reality, with Chris Bang holding the tether of your survival, pulling you in and out of his mercy. 
Gradually, he began to fasten, panting as his drove into you with more force, and when the momentum hardened, you felt your soul leave your body. His cock created wonders for you, having you scream in unimaginable pleasure, and driving your nails into his back was not enough, your lewd moaning not enough given to his sheer skill, his pure simplicity in bringing his cock back and front which had you seeing stars. Hell, Christopher Bang showed you undiscovered universes, leading you across galaxies and unfamiliar cosmos, each thrust in a different vision, and when he lifted your leg a little higher for more access, you feared that you would wake the whole docks with your groaning, for this criminal, this heartless criminal provided you with the whole universe with the simple strokes of his cock inside you, and all you could offer him were screams. 
Even your reactions were pure Beethoven to his ears, relishing in your fucked out state as he gave you all he asked, driving you to the edge of the world. You, finally, clashed your lips against his, offering him sloppy, open mouthed kisses all over his face and neck, and that alone had him greeting his teeth, knowing his own release was near. You were going to die if he was not given the same pleasure as you, so you reacted with each of his touches, each of his thrusts, him practically pistoning you upon this bed which very much would break. 
“Ch...Chan…” you grated out, eyes blurring, vision completely fucked, “I’m...I-I—”
“I—fuck,” he too got out, for your last love mark painted onto to the curve of his neck nearly had him ruined. “I’m going to come, too, love—”
“Chan!” You whined, because the throbbing was there, and was so close that if the man did not send that last thrust home then it was all for nothing, everything that had ever happened will all be for nothing.
But he listened. The man who did not listen to anyone or anything listened, and pounded his cock so hard in approval that it had you crying out to the cosmos as you finally let go, orgasm spilling out from whatever space the residue could find between his cock. Your own release had Chris groaning louder than he had even done this entire time, praising you unconditionally, until the filth was cut off by a low curse, with his own release barrelling into you, some joining your spilled mess upon the sheets.
Chris let out a shuddering breath, slowly crossing his movement inside you. Carefully, when you stopped digging your nails into his shoulders, he pulled out, reaching for the blanket untouched and bringing it over you and him before collapsing beside you. Both of you breathed as if you had held your oxygen for a thousand years, chests rising unevenly. 
A silence hung over you two, heavy yet not uncomfortable, lingering in your bedroom. Chris sat up a little, using your pillows behind him as comfort as he raked his hair back, sweat-slick all over, much like you. You held the blanket right up to your chest, hair in disarray, much like your heart. The poor organ threatened to collapse at the events.
Sneakily, you caught a glance at the greatest criminal in London, staring off at the distance, mouth set in a concentrated line. He looked dashing even in his post-sex state, the lines of his chest still stark against his sweat. You truly had never seen a man this beautiful in your life. 
He turned his head to you, catching your staring, and when you tried to look away he captured his chin with his fingers, making you meet his fierce stare. Although dark, the lust had satiated, and instead held passive affection. Well, you hoped it did.
“Why do you still look away?” He demanded in a low, tired voice.
You tried to slide your gaze to the lamp, but was too bewitched by his midnight eyes. “Because you’re beautiful, Chan,” you answered, feeling the blood rush to your face. 
He cocked his head, damp curls sticking to his face. “You say that as if you are not,” he countered. 
You did not say anything then. Even so, he received your answer. 
“____,” he said in a low tone. The grip on your chin loosened, and the hand went to your cheeks, cupping your face. “You are truly flawless. Don’t make me have to make you believe that.”
A small smile hinted at your lips. “And what if I still don’t?”
His answering smirk sent butterflies tumbling once again. After a moment, as if hesitating, he then snaked his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. You were surprised when his one hand fully encircled you, while the other hand, the tattooed hand, rested upon your head, stroking your hair with his slender fingers. You did not pull away, was never going to, only wrapping your arm across his chest. 
It was the first time you had ever seen Christopher Bang hug someone in his life.
“Chan?” You asked.
“Hmm?”
“Why did you get that tattoo?”
He paused for a minute, never ceasing his fingers intertwined in your locks. After a small sigh, which you felt beneath your own fingertips, he said, “It is simply something I live by. 
“Non ducor duco. No one will lead me, love. Only myself.”
You pondered over the roots of this phrase, of the significance for the man you lay with. 
“Good,” you said after a while. “I wouldn’t want anyone leading you either.”
With that, you gave into the soothing movement of Chris’ fingers, working lazily in your hair. And while you dozed off to sleep, the criminal mastermind of the biggest city in the world pondered some more, specifically over his motto.
NON DUCOR DUCO. A phrase which had stayed true for so long no one could ever change it.
But after tonight, as you slowly dozed off under Chris’ caresses, he wondered whether there isn’t one person he wouldn’t mind being led by. 
And as he stole a soft glance at the specific person beside him, he knew. 
He knew that although he will be led by no man, there is one woman who he would, to his own shock, happily be led for. 
So, with that new, and slightly terrifying revelation, Christopher Bang went to sleep, knowing that someone had fucked with him and gotten away. 
And he was willingly going to let it happen. 
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Through a Mirror Darkly
One of my favorite things about villains is how they can serve as dark reflections of their protagonist or deuteragonist (or some other major supporting character) enemies. By this, I mean that villains are basically the evil counterparts to the heroic ones. They share some personality traits or have similar goals to the heroes, making them the example of what the good characters could or would become if they go down the wrong path or do not change whatever negative traits they possess.
In Disney, many of the villains from the Renaissance and Revival Eras are dark parallels to the protagonists, as well as occasional deuteragonists. Here are all the villains from the Disney animated canon who are evil counterparts to the heroes and what makes them as such.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: The evil queen is this to Snow White.
Both are female monarchs known for their outer beauty, with Snow White’s being the only one to surpass that of her stepmother.
However, despite her beauty, Snow White is a kind, gentle, benevolent, humble person.
Her stepmother, on the other hand, is extremely vain and obsessed with her own beauty that she cannot tolerate any competition. The queen’s determination to remain the fairest one of all drives her to murderous insanity, and she seeks to kill Snow White just to remove her “rival”.
Therefore, the queen is a dark reflection of the kind of person Snow White would have become had she grown obsessed and vain over her physical appearance.
Beauty and the Beast: Gaston is this to the Beast.
Both are handsome men who want to use Belle their own selfish reasons, with the Beast wanting her to help him break his curse and Gaston wanting to make her his trophy wife and slave.
Both also become enraged after Belle rejects them, which happens primarily because of their bad manners towards her, with her refusing Gaston’s marriage proposal and later refusing to eat dinner with the Beast.
However, after he saves her from the wolves, the Beast begins to change into a more caring, compassionate, selfless individual. He falls in love with Belle for her kindness, independence, and intelligence (reasons far beyond her outer beauty), and takes her needs and happiness before his own, especially when he allows her to leave his castle so she can help her father, even though time is running out for the curse to be broken.
Gaston, on the other hand, lusts after Belle purely for her outer beauty and wants to marry her since he believes her being the most beautiful woman in town makes her the right one for him. After Belle rejects his proposal, Gaston makes no attempt to change his ways for the better out of his own arrogance, narcissism, and egotism. Instead, he resorts to attempting to force her to marry him using deception and manipulation. 
Therefore, Gaston serves as a dark example of what the Beast could have become if he had never met Belle, but also the Enchantress. In fact, the Beast makes this realization when he grabs Gaston by the throat and the latter pathetically begs for mercy. The Beast sees that Gaston is the monster he would have become had it not been for Belle, and if he killed Gaston, he would be no better than him. And since he wants to be better than Gaston, especially because he truly loves Belle, the Beast reluctantly spares him by telling him to leave the castle.
Aladdin: Jafar is this to Aladdin.
Both Aladdin and Jafar are men who wish to move up in society and wind up resorting to trickery to do so, including putting on a facade in order to ingratiate themselves with the royal family. Aladdin pretends to be Prince Ali and initially acts cocky and smooth to cover up his true, humble street urchin self, while Jafar pretends to be the Sultan’s loyal vizier when he actually despises the Sultan and schemes to take the throne of Agrabah for himself.
Both also rely on magic in their pursuits. Aladdin relies on the Genie to make him a prince so he can win Jasmine’s heart, while Jafar uses his snake staff to hypnotize the Sultan and manipulate him into doing what he (Jafar) wants him to do. Later, Iago steals the lamp when Aladdin isn’t around, and Jafar makes his first two wishes to become Sultan and then a powerful sorcerer.
However, Aladdin’s guilt over deceiving Jasmine and the Sultan drives him to back out of using his third wish to free the Genie, after which he finally decides to come clean about his lies. In the end, he keeps his promise to the Genie and sets him free, rather than to wish to become a prince again. 
Jafar, on the contrary, becomes so caught up his own power that it ultimately becomes his undoing. Aladdin cons Jafar into believing that the Genie is the only being more powerful than him, so Jafar uses his final wish to become a Genie himself. But seconds after making his wish, Aladdin reminds Jafar that being a Genie makes him a prisoner of a lamp, and Jafar realizes too late that he has been tricked.
Therefore, Jafar serves as a dark parallel as to what Aladdin might have become had he not freed the Genie and become too obsessed and hungry for the power and status that would come with him succeeding the Sultan.
The Lion King: Scar is this to Simba.
Both are rebellious lion princes who develop a sense of entitlement, believing that being a king means that they can always do whatever they want, always get their way, and have their orders obeyed with question or argument.
With such feelings, both Scar and Simba only care for what benefits they would get as king and do not grasp the responsibilities that come with being a ruler. 
Simba starts out as a young lion cub who js the future king of the Pride Lands. His position as the future king inflates his ego, making him arrogant and boastful enough that he believes that being a king means he is entitled to do anything he wants whenever he wants, that he doesn’t have to be told what to do, and can make or get rid of any rules he dislikes.
Scar, on the other hand, is the younger brother of Simba’s father Mufasa, and has lost a legitimate chance to be king due to Simba’s birth. Scar still has a deep-rooted desire to be ruler of the Pride Lands, but only for the power and authority it would give him over the other lions and animals in the kingdom. Scar’s lust to become king drives him to murder Mufasa and try to murder Simba, whom he blames for Mufasa’s death. Sent off into exile, though with everyone believing he is dead, Simba grows up living a carefree lifestyle while Scar assumes control of the Pride Lands. His incompetent, lazy, and dismissive behavior regarding the responsibilities as a ruler, especially the balance of nature, turns the kingdom into a barren wasteland.
However, in adulthood, after being encouraged to do what’s right by Mufasa’s ghost, Simba decides to go home to atone for the mistakes of his past and take his place as the true king. Seeing what Scar’s tyranny has done to the Pride Lands makes Simba understand the importance of his responsibility, and he eventually learns that Mufasa’s death was not his fault.
Scar, however, is killed by the hyenas because he cowardly tries to run away and blame them for his crimes just to weasel his way out of facing the consequences.
Overall, Scar proves himself to be the very tyrant Simba would have become if he had grown so obsessed with his future power and authority and not learned to understand what important responsibilities come with being a ruler. In fact, one could even say that “Be Prepared”, Scar’s song about his plot to become king, is a dark reflection of “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King”, young Simba’s song about his excitement over becoming king and all the great things his rank will do for him.
Pocahontas: Governor Ratcliffe is one to John Smith.
Both men are in charge of the Virginia Company who venture into the New World in search of gold and riches.
Both have bigoted views of the indigenous inhabitants, seeing them as savages upon which to look down.
Both also feel a sense of ownership to Virginian and/or its resources, which can be shown when they both sing in “Mine, Mine, Mine”.
However, after meeting Pocahontas and learning about her, her people, and her world, including that there is no gold present, John no longer views the Native Americans as savages (and instead believes that they could help him and his company), and comes to respect the fact that the land rightfully belongs to them.
On the contrary, Ratcliffe holds on to his intense racism, supremacy, and greed, which drives him into delusion and fantasy that the Powhatans are hoarding the non-existent gold for themselves. He ultimately declares war on the tribe in order to obtain the “gold” while claiming it as a rescue party after John is captured by them.
Therefore, Ratcliffe serves as a dark parallel as to what John would have become if he had never met Pocahontas.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Frollo is this to Quasimodo.
Quasimodo has a monstrous exterior, but he is actually a benevolent, gentle, and kind person.
On the contrary, Frollo is a normal-looking person, he is a pure monster on the inside.
Both have unrequited attraction to Esmeralda, with Quasimodo's being friendly love and Frollo's being lust and obsession. These are further emphasized by their respective songs: Quasimodo's "Heaven's Light" and Frollo's "Hellfire".
Both also face rejection from Esmeralda, but for different reasons. Quasimodo faces it because Esmeralda loves Phoebus, and while he is initially heartbroken over it, he learns to accept it and remains friends with the couple.
On the other hand, Frollo becomes furious when Esmeralda refuses to become his mistress, so he gives into his hatred and racism towards her people by attempting to murder her, and then commit mass genocide against the gypsies.
Therefore, Frollo serves as a dark parallel as to what Quasimodo could have become if he developed bigotry and wrath towards the gypsies after seeing that Esmeralda only loved him as a friend.
The Emperor’s New Groove: Yzma is this to Kuzco.
Both are power-hungry authority figures in the empire, with Kuzco being the emperor and Yzma being his adviser.
Both are very arrogant, callous, selfish people who view themselves as superior to everyone else in the empire due to their ranks.
In the beginning, Kuzco possesses all these negative traits and more. He rules his empire completely without the best interest of his people and always seeks to have his way, regardless of any misfortunes it could cause other people. After Kuzco fires Yzma for doing his job in his absence, she plots revenge by aiming to kill him so she can rule the empire.
However, after being accidentally transformed into a llama and befriending Pacha, Kuzco comes to realize the error of his ways, while Yzma remains bent on eliminating Kuzco.
Therefore, Yzma serves as a dark reflection of what Kuzco would have become if he had not met Pacha and undergone his transformation.
Tangled: Gothel is this to Flynn Rider (aka Eugene Fitzherbert).
Both are manipulative, arrogant, and selfish people who use Rapunzel for something they want, with Gothel using her for the magic of the sun flower in Rapunzel’s hair, and Flynn to get her to tell him where she hid his satchel containing (unknown to her) Rapunzel’s tiara.
Both find themselves as a reluctant companion/protector to Rapunzel, with Flynn helping Rapunzel escape from tower so she can see the floating lanterns, while Gothel plays the role of Rapunzel’s mother and manipulates her into staying in the tower so she can use Rapunzel’s hair to stay young forever.
However, Flynn grows to care for Rapunzel and sees her as a person without ever showing interest in using her hair for his own personal gain. His love for her changes him into a better person, as shown when he aims to protect and rescue her from Gothel, with him ultimately sacrificing the chance to be healed from the fatal wound Gothel inflicts on him so that Rapunzel can be free of Gothel. After being revived, Flynn brings Rapunzel home to her parents and in the final scene, he announces in his voiceover narration that his love for her also led him to decide to stop thieving.
Gothel, on the other hand, only puts up with Rapunzel since Rapunzel’s hair has the magic Gothel wants for her own selfish desire. She views Rapunzel as a pest and any forms of “affection” she gives Rapunzel are actually towards her hair, in reference to that Gothel truly loves the power in Rapunzel’s hair and not Rapunzel herself. To keep her from leaving the tower, Gothel constantly belittles, demeans, manipulates, and emotionally abuses Rapunzel, especially by using guilt trips and victim blaming whenever they argue or when Rapunzel defies and challenges her “authority”. When Rapunzel discovers she is actually Corona’s missing princess, Gothel resorts to chaining and dragging her to another place far away to keep the magic within her hair forever and permanently prevent Rapunzel from leaving ever again.
Therefore, Gothel serves as a dark parallel of what Flynn could have become if he had never met Rapunzel.
Wreck-It Ralph: King Candy, who is later revealed to truly be the long-presumed-dead Turbo, is this to Ralph.
Ralph is programmed to be a villain in his own game and is treated as such, but he is actually kind, selfless, humble, well-meaning, and sympathetic towards other characters in the arcade, particularly the homeless ones.
Turbo, on the other hand, was originally programmed to be the hero of his game, but he was actually arrogant, selfish, attention-seeking, egotistical, and had no care or value for anyone else besides himself.
Both leave their own games, or game-jump, in order to get attention and recognition, but have different motives for doing so. Ralph game-jumps to get respect and positive recognition that he had always been denied, while Turbo does so out of jealousy and spite in an attempt to regain the attention and popularity he lost when RoadBlasters was plugged in and got more notice than TurboTime.
Therefore, Turbo serves as a dark example of what Ralph might have become if he had grown too obsessed with getting what he wanted.
Frozen: Hans is this to Anna.
Both are the youngest siblings in their respective families.
Both grew up feeling neglected, rejected, and overshadowed by their older siblings.
However, while Anna still loved Elsa and was willing to do anything to reconnect with her, Hans grew to resent his brothers and was willing to do whatever it took for him to finally be on top, to gain and attention and everything he rarely to never got by growing up in their shadows.
Therefore, Hans serves as a dark counterpart of what Anna would have become had she finally given up on mending her relationship with Elsa.
Big Hero 6: Professor Robert Callaghan is this to Hiro.
Both are intelligent people who lose a beloved family member, with Hiro losing his older brother Tadashi and Callaghan losing his daughter Abigail.
Both become consumed with grief and determination to avenge their loved ones, to the point that they want to destroy those who they believe are responsible.
However, while Hiro briefly becomes enraged after learning that Callaghan faked his death, stole his microbots, and that Tadashi died for nothing after he went into the burning building to save him (Callaghan), he comes to his senses with help from his friends and learns to accept his loss.
Callaghan, on the contrary, lets his rage and grief over losing Abigail consume him enough that he desires revenge on Alistair Krei. Callaghan’s obsession causes his own morality to apparently vanish based on the way he ruthlessly pursues and tries to murder any innocent bystanders who get in his way. He even coldly and callously dismisses Tadashi's death as his own mistake and ultimately rebuffs Hiro's pleas to accept Abigail's loss (despite briefly showing a hint of regret). But when he sees Abigail alive after all (after Hiro rescues her), Callaghan realizes that all of his senseless destruction ended up being for nothing, so he shows shame and possibly remorse for his actions once he is arrested.
Therefore, Callaghan serves as a dark reflection of what Hiro would have become had he let his grief turn into vengeance and not learned to move on from Tadashi’s death.
Zootopia: Dawn Bellwether is this to Judy Hopps.
Both are small prey animals who hold important positions in the city (Judy as a cop, Bellwether as the assistant mayor) and want to be successful and appreciated for their efforts.
Despite their positions, both are overlooked, dismissed, looked down on, misjudged, and mistreated by their bosses (Judy by Chief Bogo and Bellwether by Leodore Lionheart) and other larger animals, especially by predators.
However, while Judy has some mild bigotry towards predators (especially foxes, due to being bullied by one as a child), she truly wants to live peacefully among predators, wants prey and predators to also live as such, and overcomes her troubled past to bring an end to the conspiracy against the predators.
On the other hand, Bellwether gives in to her hatred for predators (particularly because of the abuse she endures from Lionheart as his assistant), and starts her conspiracy of turning predators savage in order to become mayor and remove them from Zootopia.
Therefore, Bellwether serves as a dark parallel of what Judy might have become had she allowed her mild bigotry towards predators intensify into pure hatred.
Frozen II: King Runeard is this to Elsa, his own granddaughter.
Both are very powerful monarchs who, at different points in their lives, are the sole rulers of Arendelle.
Both have keep big secrets about themselves from their kingdom, and also hold great fears of magic.
However, Elsa feared her own magic since she believed that she would lose control of them and harm people, especially those she loved. She learns to overcome her fear and to trust herself, and the people close to her.
On the contrary, Runeard feared magic because he believed it to be a threat and competition to his own royal status and power. His fear grew into paranoia, hatred, and bigotry, which clouded and corrupted his judgment over trusting people with ties to magic, making him believe that the Northuldra, and anyone who is magical or follows magic, can never be trusted.
Therefore, Runeard serves as a dark example of what Elsa might have become if she allowed her fear to consume her.
However, while Runeard serves as a dark parallel to Elsa, he also serves as a darker counterpart to Hans.
As I described them in “The Men with Two Faces”, both men are obsessive, manipulative, selfish monarchs who pretend to be kind and noble in order to hide their true natures and gain the loyalty and trust of others for their own personal gain.
Both are also very power-hungry who only care for the power they have/crave and are willing to go to lengths of treachery and murder to get what they want and expand their power.
Both sneak up on people sitting on the ground and try to murder them with their swords since they view them as a threat to their goals. However, while Hans failed to kill Elsa due to Anna’s intervention, Runeard succeeded in killing the Northuldra leader.
Therefore, Runeard is what Hans could have become if he had succeeded in killing both Elsa and Anna and been crowned king of Arendelle.
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I owe a thanks to my dearest friend and soul sis @minervadeannabond for coming up with this title. Although I am called the Queen of Puns, I sometimes have trouble coming up with clever puns as titles for my analyses, and she’s always there to help me out. Thank you so much, girl! Love you much! 😁😊❤️
And since today is All Hallows Eve, what better kind of analysis for me to post today than one about villains?
Happy Halloween, everyone! 😁🎃👻
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You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 24
--------------
2004 
“We lay to rest a beloved member of the community. A mother. A friend. A daughter. A wife. Claudia Stilinski...” We stood on the lawn of Beacon Hills Memorial Cemetery, watching Aunt Claudia’s casket being lowered into the ground. She had been sick for so long and it was starting to turn ugly... But she was in a better place now, that’s what Uncle Noah said. When he spoke at least. I looked past the grieving people, like Ms. McCall, Scott, the entire police department, and looked at Stiles. He looked so tired. His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were red from crying. 
Once people started to disperse, my parents and I made our way over to Uncle Noah and Stiles. While the adults talked, Stiles and I just continued to stare at the grave. The grounds keepers were starting to cover her body with dirt. 
“Do you want me to spend the night tonight?” I whispered, reaching over and holding his hand. 
Stiles shook his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek, “I want to be alone tonight.” He gave my hand a squeeze.
“Wouldn’t tonight be the worst time to be alone?” 
“I just want to be at home with my dad. I need some time for myself.” 
“(Y/N).” We both turned at my father’s voice, “Let’s go, sweetie.” We both looked back at the grave.
“Okay. Well, call if you change your mind.” I gave his hand a squeeze before letting it slip away. 
We got into the car, making our way back home. 
“How you holding up, sweetie?” Mom turned back and looked at me over the sink. 
“I don’t want to be alone tonight.” I said, looking out the window.
“Well, you don’t have to.” Dad said, “We’ll get into our pjs and watch Disney movies. You know how much Aunt Claudia loved Disney movies.” 
I swallowed thickly, “Actually... I was hoping that I could go to see the Hales. If that’s okay.” Dad sighed loudly and mom smacked him subtly. 
“Sure, baby.” Mom said, a sad smile on her face, “I’ll call Talia when we get home.” 
-
When I was dropped off at the Hales’, Talia welcomed me with open arms, a blanket, and a hot chocolate. I guess what I needed was away from the whole situation. We played games, Laura braided my hair, we made friendship bracelets. At the end of the night, Laura and Cora had fallen asleep to the movie we had been watching and Derek had snuck us both onto the roof of the Hale house. We were on our back, looking up at all the stars in the sky and the moon shining down on us. We had been in silence for a while until Derek cleared his throat awkwardly. 
“So, uh, are you excited for high school next year?” 
I sighed and shook my head, “After today? I don’t think I’ll be ready for anything.”
“Yeah...” He turned on his side to face me, “I’m sorry about your aunt. I know she was important to you.” 
“Thanks...” I turned, “I guess I’m just kinda worried about everything. I don’t know what life is going to be like without her. And I’m worried about Stiles too.” 
“I bet. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my mom.” He said. Then, he reached out and grabbed my hand, “Whenever you feel like this again, let me know. You can come over and we can do this again. Whatever you need, I’ll be there.” 
I smiled, a slight blush to my cheeks that I really hoped was hidden in the dark, “Thanks, Derek.” 
“Of course.” He smiled, “It’s what friends do.” 
-
The communication with Beacon Hills was slim to none. And, ya know, that didn’t feel great. I understood that everyone was busy living their lives whether it was being a high school student or fighting supernatural beings or being a supernatural being or the sheriff in a town full of both. But unanswered texts and calls were starting to get to me. 
The ones I got weren’t great either though. Stiles occasionally sent me a long email about the events that had happened since long distance calls weren’t in the phone plan. 
I had learned more about the alpha pack - a blind one, a woman who could definitely use a manicure, a strong man, and twins who could morph into each other. I was almost a little happy I didn’t have to deal with that. 
All the betas were missing except Isaac who had stayed behind. Even if he did get in trouble every now and then. 
And then missing turned into dead. Hearing that Erica was dead really hit me hard. I barely knew the girl, a few moments and quick chats usually didn’t mean that much. But they found her locked in a closet, rotting. It was horrifying. She was a child. She was finally enjoying her life - a new life without seizures and bullying, her parents had taken her to get pictures taken; happy to see that their little girl loved herself for the first time. Now she was gone. 
They found Boyd alive, thankfully. And surprisingly, they had found Derek’s sister: Cora. 
Not forgetting that there were flocks of animals committing mass suicide and kids turning up murdered. It seems home is getting more and more dangerous. Not only was there an alpha pack but there was a creature called a Darach, a dark druid. 
The leader of the alpha pack, Deucalion, was trying to get Derek to join his pack. He also wanted me to join as well, apparently he had been asking where I was. To join, he would have to kill the betas. Derek, who I’m sure was done being manipulated, refused. To keep him safe, Derek kicked Isaac out of the depot to live with Scott. 
Speaking of dead...
Even thousands of miles away, the vision of falling three stories still hurt as much as if I was actually there. A battle between the alphas, Derek and Scott. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if Derek was alive or dead. Every little message I thought to him just echoed in my head. I had cried, tried forcing myself to work through it. But nothing really worked. I still woke up in the middle of the night, naked on the castle grounds having shifted my feelings or else I was instinctually trying to search for him. First it was anger, next it was denial, then more anger. And that was all just last night. 
Hell, not even forgetting to mention the fact that the test Lachlan ran on me was a little more than just a blood panel. They checked for human chorionic gonadotropin hormone aka the pregnancy hormone. And things were just getting better and better. Because it was positive. I am pregnant. And the father may be dead. 
-
Sending a preemptive long distance fee to Stiles’ PayPal account, I called the house phone. It didn’t have caller ID but it was something. Michael didn’t think it was a good idea, however, it was gonna be a cold day in Hell before I listened to his double agent ass. Lachlan thought I deserved closure. And I trusted him more. 
“Stilinski residence.” Stiles’ voice was a little scratchy, but still loud and clear. 
“Stiles, if you hang up on me I swear you will live to regret it. I still have access to your secret YouTube channel.” There was a pause on the other end, then a sigh. 
“Hey (Y/N). I was wondering why I got an email from my PayPal."
 "Is there a reason I've been on everyone's pay no mind list? Because it's starting to piss me off."
"Well... Derek said that we shouldn't worry about or get you stressed out."
"So not talking to me for months is supposed to help?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Uh... Ya got me there."
I groaned and started tapping my foot, "I just...." My mind seemed to go blank, my heart rate going up. That's not right. I wasn't doing anything to make it spike like this.
"I know, I know. And I'm sorry, I wish I could contact you more. But there's a lot going on here with the alpha pack and Lydia and-and Derek-"
"Shit." I wheezed, sitting down on the bed. My body felt so warm and not in the way it normally would.
"Yeah I know, it's a lot right now-" His voice was drowned out by my senses taking over. It was the familiar warmth of intimacy. But not from me. It was Derek! He was alive. But he was with someone. And that someone-
He was kissing her. Touching her. His heart racing. Her touch set his skin ablaze and nothing else mattered. Not even the wounds on his body that nearly killed him. But all that mattered was her intoxicating touch. The touch of a woman he didn’t know. But her whole being enveloped him.  
I screamed loudly in anger, but behind that anger was so much pain. My chest ached and felt like it was being pulled across the world. I dropped the phone, holding my chest.
"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! What's wrong?!" My breathing was erratic and my thoughts were going wild between what had just happened and what I was thinking and what I had to do from here. I felt so helpless and alone. What could I do?
Then... There was an answer. Maybe it was the stress? Maybe it was my raging hormones? But I had my answer.
I picked the phone back up.
"(Y/N)! Talk to me, what's going on?"
I inhaled and exhaled deeply, "Derek’s alive."
"He is?"
"But not for long." I hung up.
How dare he? HOW COULD HE? AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH OUR ENTIRE LIVES AND HE JUST- JUST THROWS IT ALL OUT? And for what? Who could have been more important than me? I'm his stupid mate for Christ's sake.
But if he wants to sleep around?
Fine.
Fine.
He could for the next thirteen hours. Because I'm going back to Beacon Hills for the soul purpose of ripping his heart out like he did mine. And if this emotional trauma affected my child? Well, there were repercussions for that too.
-
Michael and Lachlan were in my room, watching me as I threw together a bag to take on the plane. Remarkably, as a member of the Lunar Circle I would get free airfare courtesy of Lachlan mostly because the guy was insanely rich and he agreed with my revenge plot, for the most part.
"Okay, let's think rationally here." Michael said, taking things out of my bag as I was putting them in, "He's a total douche bag for doing this. We all agree. But in your state, I don't think you should fly. I mean anything could happen."
"I can fly until I'm thirty-six weeks along." I said curtly, grabbing my things out of his hands and putting them back in the bag.
"Come on, think about what you're doing-"
"I have thought about it. And I'm going to kill him."
Michael looked back at Lachlan who had his arms crossed over my chest, only observing.
"A little help here, Praetor McLeod?"
Lachlan shrugged, "Seems justified to me."
"Murder? Murder seems justified to you." He asked incredulously.
"It's the werewolf way." Lachlan said simply.
"Thank you, Lachlan." I smiled.
"Anytime."
"Okay, what about this?" Michael stood in front of my path to my bag, "Murdering him seems like a great idea right now, I totally get it. But-but if you do that, it will weigh heavily on your conscience."
"The Lunar Circle has excellent insurance, including therapy." Lachlan chimed in.
I moved Michael out of the way, "Duly noted."
Michael sputtered, "And-and your baby? What about your baby? That's their dad."
"Their dad who decided to stick his penis in another woman." I raised my eyebrows at him, "That one? Yeah, what a stand up guy."
“But you love him. Don’t you think killing him-”
“Michael!” I slammed my suitcase shut, “Shut up.” I turned and faced both of them, “You’re right, okay? I do love him, which is the worst part. I hate him so much but I still love him. I dedicated my life to him and I thought he had dedicated himself to me. I was wrong.” I zipped the bag and made my way out the door, “I’ll be back at the end of the week.”
-
Getting on the plane didn’t take long. Relatively short lines, quick ticket, fast boarding. Like someone was looking out for me as I went to kick Derek's ass. Becoming alpha to Derek's pack was starting to sound better and better as the pain continued to radiate through my body. Eventually, I just felt numb.
The people on the plane were nice. I sat next to an older gentleman who slept for the most part so I could whisper profanities under my breath. The stewardess had been kind, making sure I had enough to drink. It seems someone had tipped them off I was pregnant, probably Michael. The guy had been a nervous wreck since he found out I was pregnant. He wouldn’t even let me train, not like he had much of a choice in what I did. But he sure knew how to annoy me out of a room. Lachlan had been supportive, talking about adding an additional room onto mine for a nursery. I told that it wasn’t necessary since I wouldn’t be staying in Scotland that long. 
After the plane landed, I was met by a very tired looking Stiles. We didn’t speak much, just began the drive back home. 
"So...." He swallowed, his eyes darted from me to the road ahead, "Pregnant," He chuckled nervously, "That-that's great! I'm so happy for you.” He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. He was hesitating, he wanted to say something else, “Uh...Speaking of-” I groaned loudly, another lecture. 
He ignored my dramatics, “Maybe you shouldn't kill him. That's not good for the baby..." 
“It wasn’t good for the baby when he decided to take our bond, step on it and rub it in the dirt.” He was silent, but not for long.
"Yeah-but you see we kinda need Derek to help with some big bads. Like Deucalion and the Darach and ya know, other stuff." 
"I remember you telling me about it. I tried to do some research but Lachlan said that we didn’t have too much information on them.” 
“Well that’s not too helpful.” 
-
We made it back to the house at sunset, which was perfect timing. The cover of night would be great to conceal me in the dark. Sure, he would smell my scent but he would have no idea where I was coming from. I pulled on the handle on the door but stared at it when it didn’t budge. Still locked. I looked back at Stiles. He looked tired, a wreck.
“Would you just... See dad before you cover yourself in blood? He was really excited to hear you were coming home.” Like he always seemed to be, Stiles’ was right. I should see Uncle Noah. 
“I will. I need to rest anyway. Besides, I can’t kill him on an empty stomach.” I winked.
“You terrify me.” He unlocked the doors. We got out just in time for Uncle Noah to jog down the driveway. 
“There she is!” He grinned, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight. 
“I missed you so much.” I said into his shirt, giving him a soft squeeze. He pulled away and looked over me, “Look at you.” He motioned to my stomach that looked more like I was bloated than a fetus growing inside of me, “This-this is... Mhm. Exciting!” 
I chuckled, “Thanks. Very mhm.” 
“Uh, you hungry?” 
“Starving.”
-
Dinner had been extremely awkward, the conversation mostly coming back to the child growing inside of me. Lots of questions from both of them. Mostly how I hadn't called. In actuality I had called approximately twenty times a day with no answer from anyone per Derek's request. Unfortunately for him, his requests were now being put on the back burner. I excused myself to my room.
My room was kept the same, I'm certain no one had been inside besides Uncle Noah. And from the ruffled blankets, maybe Stiles. Back when we were kids, we used to sneak scary movies and had to sleep in a huddled pile because we were too scared to sleep by ourselves. 
I grabbed a jacket and opened up my window, I was half way out of it when my door opened. Stiles stood in the doorway. We stared at each other for a minute. 
“I may regret saying this one day because I don’t care for Derek, but don’t kill him.” He said, “Kick the living shit out of him, sure. Get in a few punches for me. But don’t kill him. We need him.” Of course, all it took was Stiles to talk me off the murder-ledge. 
“I won’t kill him.” I smiled, “I’ll be home soon.”
-
Odds are, with the alpha pack threat Derek will have the depot protected. What he failed to remember was that the most dangerous being in the world had a key to every place in the depot. I simply walked in the front door. Almost like he was expecting me.
His scent was so strong, like the forest after it rained. It made this ball of emotion well up in my chest bringing me back to all the love and memories we had shared together. Not all the memories were life and death. They weren't all fights. Some days, Derek and I would curl up and bed and never leave, only grabbing food here and there. His smile would light up his whole face, sometimes it would even reach his green eyes and make them sparkle. When he would nap, he would lay his head on my chest and sleep, like he was finally at peace with himself and the world. That was the person I loved. 
I walked through the main room at the depot, getting to the stairs. The worst part here was the pictures, us together, the pack. I want to make the depot less abandoned and more homey for the betas to have a place to go and relax. Some of the pictures had turned heads at the photo developing counter (but I had managed to convince them that it was for a theater class). The worst part was that on my way here Boyd had been killed. If only I had been here soon, if only I had been here at all. Only two of the pack remained, Isaac and Jackson who was no longer a killer lizard thanks to Lydia. Say what you will about Peter Hale but sometimes he knew what he was talking about.  
If Derek knew I was here, he hadn’t tried to make a move. Smart. 
After wandering a bit, I finally decided to face the music. I found him hunched over his desk in the main office room. Rain was dancing against the fluorescent lights from the street lamps down below. He hadn’t looked up at me the whole time that I walked up to him. He felt defeat and alone. He had lost everything. He was looking down at his desk, his hands laced together. He looked up slightly, more looking at my shirt than my face. 
“I...” His voice was soft and quiet, something unlike the loud, booming man I was used to, “I messed up.” 
“Yeah, you did.” It was silent for a moment, then he spoke again. 
“Who’s with you?” He asked, his eyes scanning the room. 
I narrowed my eyes at him, “No one.” 
“Then why do I hear another heart-” His eyes widened. He stared directly at my stomach. I thought I almost saw his ears perk up. 
“Are you...”
“I am. I’m having a baby. Emphasis on the ‘I’m’.” I really hadn’t wanted to do much talking, I really hadn’t planned on saying anything besides obscenities and screaming at him. He stood up from the desk and quickly came around, he reached his hand out towards my stomach but I smacked it away. 
“You have no right to touch me. Especially when I can still smell her stench on you.” I scrunched up my nose and sneered. 
“Look,” He licked his lips, “I can’t give you a good answer or an excuse-”
“Good, because I don’t want one.” I glared. 
He looked at me a moment then continued, “I don’t know why I did what I did. Something just came over me. Please tell me you believe me.” He put his hand on my shoulder. 
He really should have taken a lesson out of his own book. With amazing speed, I grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the room. When he landed, my features shifted and my eyes glowed red. He groaned, holding at his waist. That’s where he had been injured in the alpha fight, it had healed but it was still sore. 
“I don’t want your apologies.” I growled, walking towards him, “I want you to feel what I felt. The pain and the suffering. The violation...” I chuckled darkly, “You know that I felt her hands on you? Touching the most private parts of your body that only I was supposed to feel. Do you know how disgusting I felt afterwards? I felt used and dirty and it wasn’t even my body.” I stepped on his chest with my boot to keep him down on the ground. He still wasn’t looking at me. I snarled, grabbing him by his shirt and shoving him against the concrete pillar he landed on. 
“Look at me!” I roared, “You broke me into a million little pieces. You didn’t answer my calls.” I punched him. 
“You kept me hidden in the dark about Erica’s death.” I hit him again. 
“You wouldn’t let my family communicate with me and when they did they couldn’t even tell me everything that was going on. I was begging to hear from someone, anyone, I was all alone!” I threw him across the room. 
“You blocked my number two months ago.” I stalked over to him, ignoring the tears running down my face, “I couldn’t even hear your voice on your goddamn voicemail!” I got down on my knees and grabbed his chin so that his eyes met mine. 
“LOOK AT ME!” I screamed, “Look what you did to me! For months you’ve been using our bond for your own strength, strength that used used to heal and have sex with another woman!” My voice was starting to crack as all the things I had thought about were coming out, “See how much my heart broke when I felt how happy you were with someone other than me.” He was finally looking at me. The worst thing though was that his eyes were full of so much love for me, that special twinkle that Peter said only happened when he looked at me. I wasn’t angry anymore, I was devastated. 
“I came here to kill you.” I sniffled, my features shifting back to normal, “I wanted to tear your heart out. But I can’t... I can’t because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I shouldn’t have hurt you, but I want to because of what you did.” As the anger fogged cleared, I realized that I was just as bad as he was. 
“You had every right to hurt me-”
“No, I didn’t. I shouldn’t have hurt you. I’m sorry.” I looked down at my hands, “I felt so out of control. I thought I was getting better at it.” 
“You were.” Derek sat up slowly, “It’s the baby. All of your emotions are going to be heightened. More than usual.” 
“It doesn’t matter.” I made my way towards the exit, not caring that he was calling after me, running to catch up to me. I just left him there. Even when I got home and he tried to get into my window, I just ignored his pleading. What I did wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have hit him or punched him. I was just so angry and that anger clouded my vision. 
Weren’t we a pair - one cheats and the other goes into a blind rage. Perfect. 
------------
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eolewyn1010 · 3 years
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Warning: This is a rant.
So, there’s someone in the Charité fandom with a few, eh, interesting(?) ships. Namely, Anni/de Crinis as a romantic ship or, more recently, Anni/Christel. Which, whatever. I don’t shit on your ship, you leave my boats alone and all that; I guess the person in question is just into villain/protagonist ships. You do you. But I do have an opinion and I’m gonna elaborate on it now. (It’s a history- and canon-oriented breakdown; feel free to ignore.)
First of all, Max de Crinis was a Nazi. I’m not sure inhowfar the person in question is aware of that because they only ever seem to be talking about the character de Crinis in the Charité show (more on that later) and I don’t think they’re German; thus they might not have the cultural background to take this with the same queasy feeling I do, but yes, we’re talking a real-life Nazi who gave his expert reports on which people were to be “sorted out” in Aktion T4. Meaning, he actively participated in the mass murder of disabled people, adults and children alike. And no one can tell me he didn’t know what he was having part in. That man was influencial, way up in the hierarchy. He lived the superiority ideology of the Nazis, he preached it. We are shown that in the series. We hear the way he talks about people, about the Dohnanyis, about a traumatized woman who thinks she has lost her child, about homosexuals, and I think it’s not far-off from what we know of historical de Crinis. He was a monster, responsible for the deaths of hundreds or thousands and not sorry about it. He’s not shown as a redeemable antagonist in the series, and I don’t see him at all with Anni, a character who is very much shown to be redeemable. Anni is passive and complacent, which is another category of bad, but she is, to some degree, unaware. It is at least partially a willful unawareness, admittedly, but she is young enough to have been raised unaware. And once she overcomes this, she realizes that what happens around her, what her highly adored mentor preaches and practices, is nothing she can morally justify. That’s when her redemption begins. With her breaking down crying eventually as she can’t cling to her worldview anymore, we know it’s a painful process, and it’s supposed to be.
De Crinis is at no point unaware. He is a Nazi, and we’re never shown at any time that he wants to change that. We’re never shown him in pain, up until it’s about his own life. Because there was never any indication for that in the historical person and this is a historical show.
Secondly, the character we are shown in the series. He’s married, y’know? Admittedly, his wife is extremely non-present, showing up only to die by his side, but it’s one of the things that make de Crinis behave in that condescending mentorly way toward Anni instead of being actually flirty with her. So, the ship would have to do away with the wife. Then, it’d have to away with Artur because - oh, right, Anni already has an irredeemable Nazi asshole she’s married to. From what we’re shown, she and Artur are very much in love initially. It’s not an easy separation for her. Easiest solution? Make them both single from the get-go, I guess, have de Crinis be Karin’s father; he’d conveniently be protective of his own child and stuff... and wind up as Artur, basically. Who’s all, “yeah, other people’s children, but not mine, of course”. To overcome that, de Crinis would have to realize that all human life has inherent value. Which means, he’d have to renounce his work, his loyalty to the Nazi realm, everything his life and ego consists of. All the things he’s built his reputation on, might I note. There are others who watch him. He’d be dead in no time. And if we say he was like that from the get-go, then he never gets into a position of power in the first place. Scientist? Even several of his contemporaries thought his work was worthless. (We’re shown that in series-canon, too, with Sauerbruch and Jung grinning at his self-adulation.) His hostility with the Dohnanyis / Bonhoeffers? Wouldn’t be there; he’d be fighting for their cause. His psychological torture and persecution of Martin and Otto? Why would he hunt down homosexuals if he had internalized that all human life has value and Nazi ideology is wrong?
There would be nothing left of his character. What point is there in shipping Anni with de Crinis when the latter isn’t de Crinis anymore? Just make a new character then? 
Third, his points of redemption potential? ...there are none. His favorism of Anni? Based on her being a good little sheep who looks up at him with her wide, Aryan eyes and admires him. His soft spot for kids, shown in his disgust with Magda Goebbels’ planned murder of her children? He’s appalled that the virtuous paragon of the Nazi model family is shredding yet another bit of his pretty, pretty worldview; that’s all. He doesn’t give a shit about children. He doesn’t try to stop her or talk her out if it. He tells her where she can get poison to go through with it. When Anni mentions that “Karin has been evacuated”, he doesn’t even blink. And he knows what “evacuating” means for a disabled child. He doesn’t care. He has the point of view of Nurse Käthe, of Prof. Bessau: That child’s no good; make new ones. His taking flight, knowing that he has committed crimes he will be prosecuted for? Yeah - but he doesn’t seem to suffer from it. When Anni acknowledges herself as guilty, she breaks down and lashes out, realizing what she might have been and was capable of. De Crinis? Takes flight. He’s not a bit shaken, not a bit surprised by what he has been up to. He has always known that what he participated in is wrong; he just didn’t care so long as there were no consequences for him personally. The one and only thing that made de Crinis watch-worthy in the series is that Lukas Miko is a damn fine actor who gives one hell of a chilling performance. That doesn’t make his character any less of a piece of shit, nor does it diminish my urge to go take a shower after the de Crinis scenes. I wouldn’t mind watching Miko play a de Crinis anthithesis, but that definitely wouldn’t be de Crinis.
To make this ship work, there are exactly two possibilities: Give up all of de Crinis’ character - or roll with him being the evil bastard that he is and that we are shown he is, and give up all of Anni’s character. That’s it. Just... don’t act like there’s canonically anything good about de Crinis.
Same goes for the Anni/Christel ship, btw. “Everything is the same, but Christel is not in love with Otto but with Anni”. That... means nothing is the same. It means everything changes thoroughly. Christel was always the only real threat for Otto and Martin - if she isn’t, there’s not much for them to fear in their own ranks. They’re careful; they wouldn’t have been found out without a denunciation. Means, they don’t get arrested, Otto doesn’t have to save Martin, Otto goes out to war, Otto dies before the war is over because those last months of battling were desperate and ugly (even more so than the earlier, I mean). So, we’d get a new gay at the cost of killing another? Eh. A Nazi accepting homosexuality, coming to terms with herself as an adversary of her own creeds and abandoning Nazi ideology to Do The Right Thing is not “missing dramatic content”, either. It’s Anni’s arc. And it’s a character arc that Christel, with the way she’s written, with “too much compassion is a sign of weakness”, is not capable of.
The scenario doesn’t only include Christel accepting herself as a lesbian; it also includes her helping Anni with Karin. Which brings us back to the same problem as with de Crinis: She’d have to abandon everything she’s convinced of. Accept the value of all human life. And I think her definition of a “worthy life” is even narrower than that of de Crinis; that’s why he recruits her in the first place: Because Christel is a very passionate Nazi. Much more so than de Crinis. She has a backbone, he’s an opportunistic chickenshit. He takes flight. She fights. To the very last second, she clings to her idea of the Nazi realm. When she breaks down, it isn’t for realizing that what she believes in is wrong; it is because what she believes in is lost. That’s one of the things that make me be more shaken with her than with de Crinis, even more in awe of Frida-Lovisa Hamann than of Lukas Miko: Christel never knows that she’s in the wrong. Like Anni, she’s young enough to have been raised unaware, and different than Anni, she very decidedly declines the chance to break out of this. If she’d been brought to court for her deeds, she wouldn’t have been able to defend herself, and she wouldn’t have denied anything, because in her worldview, she never did anything wrong. Realizing that would be, again, an extremely painful process and, again, it wouldn’t leave anything of her character. Why would she go on a date with Otto and propose to him? Why would she tattle on little Emil? On Hans von Dohnanyi? On Martin? Why would she be in conflict with the Sauerbruchs? Why would she lead Volkssturm kids into the hospital if she wants to protect Anni? Why are there any conflicts at all instead of all of the Charité staff being morally upright and good and a united front against the Nazis?
They aren’t. There’s a story being told, and if they’d change out these chilling, well-written antagonists for lukewarm knock-off protagonists, they’d have to make up new antagonists to make any of the story work. It’s a historical series, dealing with living amidst Nazis; inside this framework, the characters won’t function as theirselves if their core values are flipped.
Conclusion? There’s only one legit ship in there, and it’s de Crinis/Christel. I can totally see that; it’d leave both their characters intact. He could rush back to tragically die by her side - BAM, there you’ve got your Nazi-apologetic drama. Or make it Magda Goebbels/Christel, if one wants to go for psycho lesbians. Personally, I don’t care much for finding a happy end for obvious Nazis that were written as Nazis and have absolutely nothing that would turn them away from being Nazis. And I don’t see Anni being either’s romantic partner. Why on earth would she want to? Isn’t Artur punishment enough?
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thetravelerwrites · 3 years
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Courtship of the Headless King: Chapter Two
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Rating: General Audiences Fandoms: 忘却の首と姫 | Boukyaku no Shirushi to Hime | The Princess and The Forgotten Head Relationship: Female Human/Male Headless King Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Political Marriage, Power Dynamic, Headless King Content Warnings: Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Abductions Words: 4448
Lilya conducts her marriage interview with His Majesty. Please reblog and leave feedback!
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There was a tense moment in which no one moved. The triplets and the king’s attendants watched apprehensively as Lilya stood there, taking in the sight she was seeing. Slowly, she took a step forward, and then another, and stopped right in front of the desk.
“Does that hurt?” Lilya asked softly.
The king actually took a small step backward, clearly not expecting this. For a moment, no one knew how to react to her question. After a minute of heavy silence, His Majesty picked up a pad of paper that lay on the desk in front of him and began to write.
~No, it doesn’t hurt.~
“Oh, that’s a relief,” Lilya said, placing a hand over her heart. “I’ve seen people lose their heads before; it always looked like it hurt terribly.”
The king began to write again. ~You were present during such barbaric acts?~
Lilya nodded shakily. “The royal family in Tritsia was captured during the war and were forced to witness many terrible things. Able-bodied countrymen were rounded up and executed en masse in a horrible show of power, even if they were just farmers or merchants. We were made to watch them all.”
All five attendants exchanged looks of horror.
~That must have been harrowing. How old were you when this happened?~
“It started when I was ten, after my father was killed, and carried on until Couliea claimed our land for themselves three years ago. I helped dig a fair number graves during that time.”
~How old are you now?~
“Nineteen, Your Majesty,” Lilya said.
Conversation died briefly, but after a moment, the king began to write again.
~Would you like to sit down?~
“Oh, yes, thank you,” Lilya said. Raba brought a chair for her and she took a seat. His Majesty waved his hand, and all five of the attendants bowed and left the room, closing the door behind them. Peridot winked at them as she exited.
~Are you not afraid of me?~ His Majesty asked.
“Not really, no,” Lilya replied. “After all that’s happened, I’m not afraid of very much anymore. Should I be scared?”
~This meeting marks three thousand, six hundred and sixty-two marriage interviews that I’ve conducted. You are the first and only woman who has seen me and not screamed, run, fainted, vomited, burst into hysterics, or begged me to let them go, fearful that I’d eat them or some other nonsense.~
“How awful. I couldn’t imagine someone treating you so cruelly. Why would they even come if they didn’t want to?”
~Pressure from their families. The political gain of a union with Banfarie would be a boon to any country on the continent. The appeal of that power and influence drives people to do things they don’t want to do. Either the women would cry hysterically and run away, or they would swallow their disgust and force themselves to conduct the interviews as if it were normal, all the while looking as if the idea of marrying me made them sick.~
“That was terribly rude of them,” Lilya replied, incensed.
His Majesty’s shoulders shook slightly, and Lilya thought he might be laughing.
~In all fairness to them, I am unusual and a little frightening.~
“That’s no excuse! So what if you’re a bit different? That’s no reason to make such a fuss. How would they like it if people acted that way around them? I know my feelings would be hurt. They should have been more considerate.”
His Majesty was completely still for a full minute. Lilya was beginning to wonder if he was alright, when he started to write again.
~You’re rather unusual, aren’t you?~
Lilya laughed good-naturedly. “I suppose so.” She looked at the paper and pen in his hand thoughtfully. “It must be difficult for you to communicate sometimes. I know most people of royal or noble birth are required to learn to read and write, but even in a prosperous nation like this one, many people are illiterate. Do you have trouble communicating with your staff?”
He moved his shoulders in such a way that it put Lilya in mind of someone shaking their head.
~No, since most of my staff are made up of fairies and spirits, my magic allows me to communicate telepathically with them. If needed, they can convey my thoughts to others.~
“Oh, I see! That’s how you spoke to Raba when the door was closed.”
~Yes.~
“Do you know any of the signing languages? Perhaps we could talk that way.”
His Majesty visibly perked up and began gesturing.
“Oh! No, I’m sorry, I don’t know the signing languages, I just meant that I’d be willing to learn it so that we could communicate easier with each other.”
He stopped signing, but he didn’t seem disappointed. Rather the opposite, he seemed touched.
~You’d be willing to learn an entire language just to be able to talk to me?~
“Well, yes. After all, if you accept me, I’d also need to learn this country’s native language to talk to the citizens. Adding another language to my curriculum wouldn’t be so bad.” She leaned forward a little, and His Majesty leaned back, as if intimidated. “This may be an impertinent question and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but may I ask how you lost your head?”
~It’s alright. I removed it myself.~
Lilya looked both horrified and impressed. “Whatever for?”
He paused for a moment before writing again, and this time he wrote out an extended statement.
~I was the son of a concubine who died during my birth. Apparently, I resembled her very much and did not take after my father, the king, at all. The queen’s children, my half-siblings, bullied me relentlessly, often questioning the legitimacy of my birth and whether or not I was indeed my father’s son. They spread rumors about me and my mother, which eventually got back to my father. He also began to question my birthright and threatened to send me into exile. In anger, I somehow managed to pry off my own head and throw it into the Aurora. I think I’d meant to end my own life, but I survived somehow. When my father saw this display of my magical power, he reversed his position and put me first in line for the throne, even though he had four sons by the queen who were all older than me. I was crowned king the following year, and the year after, my father passed away.~
“How old where you when you became king?”
~Twenty-two.~
“How old are you now?”
~One hundred and sixty years old.~
Lilya’s eyes widened in shock.
~Does my age upset you?~
“No, not at all, it’s just…” She frowned in sympathy but fell silent. It must be lonely to have lived alone for so long, she thought to herself.
~I have not aged since I lost my head. I think the magic of the Aurora is what keeps me alive.~
“That’s incredible,” Lilya breathed. “I’ve never heard of such a thing happening.”
~My family has always been strange.~
Lilya chuckled a little. “How are you able to see and hear without a head?”
~Magic. It’s hard to explain to in simple terms, but I don’t see or hear in the same way as normal humans. It’s more of a perception of the wavelengths created by light, shadow, and sound by my whole body instead of my head. I can perceive those sensations similarly to true sight and hearing, but it’s not quite the same.~
“That’s fascinating,” She said, leaning closer. “May I ask you something else that might be a little personal?”
He seemed to laugh again. ~More so than you have already done? Please do.~
“You’ve only been conducting marriage interviews for the last sixty years, right? That means you had already been ruling for almost eighty years without a queen. Why did you suddenly start looking for a wife?”
~My attendants began to pressure me to marry and sire an heir.~
“Is that the only reason?”
~What other reason would there be?~
“Weren’t you lonely?”
His Majesty’s hands were motionless and he seemed to be thinking.
~Perhaps.~
Then he fell still again, as if he didn’t know what else to say.
Lilya smiled a little. “You don’t enjoy these interviews, do you, my Lord?”
He gave another shoulder-shake of laughter. ~No, not at all. I believe this may have been the longest conversation I’ve had with a human woman in my entire life.~
“Oh, goodness,” Lilya said, holding a hand to her mouth in surprise. “I hope I haven’t bored you, my Lord.”
~Not in the slightest. This has been surprisingly pleasant.~
“Oh good,” She said, relieved.
~You’ve asked me a fair number of questions. May I ask you something in return?~
“Of course, My Lord.”
~What is one thing you wish for more than anything?~
Lilya looked out of the far window and thought about the question. She had never spent much time wishing for anything, knowing that wishes did little to affect reality. After all, she had wished for her father back numerous times, and for the terrible atrocities committed against her country to stop, and that had never happened. The only thing she really wished for was the safety of her people, but how could she achieve that?
“Walls,” She said suddenly.
~Walls?~
“The borders of my homeland have no defenses. People from outside the kingdom come in and steal food, destroy crops, take livestock, and even abduct people right out of the fields, and we have nothing to stop them. My land grows smaller every day because people just come in and take whatever they like, whenever they like. I wish we could do more to protect ourselves, but we have no military or security forces. Walls would be just as effective as guards, perhaps more so.”
You care very much about your home and people, at your own expense, it seems.
“Yes,” Lilya said, clutching the pendant on her neck. “I… I sold the tiara you sent to me so that I could feed the people affected by a famine on our southern border. It was a lovely gift and I was quite touched by it, Peridot even took this jewel off for me to keep,” She pulled it up to show him. “But… my people needed food more than I needed a crown. I hope you won’t be too disappointed in me, but… I didn’t want to lie or mislead you.”
~I see. He sat quietly, as if in thought. Very well. It will be done. I’ll have construction teams sent out to Tritsia right away.~
Lilya looked up in shock. “Wha… You’re Majesty! I wasn’t… I didn’t mean…”
~I know you didn’t. It is my gift to you for your understanding and patience. This has been one of the most enjoyable mornings I’ve had in many years. That alone is worth giving you some peace of mind.~ 
He stood up and made for the door. Overwhelmed by his generosity and on the verge of tears, Lilya jumped out of her chair as his Majesty passed her.
“I’ll marry you!”
His Majesty stopped dead in his tracks and turned. He hadn’t brought the paper with him so he couldn’t respond, but he was rooted to the spot as if frozen.
“This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me or my people. How could I possibly refuse?”
This spurred him to action. He walked briskly back to the desk and wrote on the notepad.
~I didn’t do it to buy your cooperation,~ He protested. ~It’s only a gift, nothing more. I expected for us to continue the interview after I made the arrangements. You don’t have to accept because you feel obligated to repay me.~
“No, that’s not it at all!” Lilya protested. “I don’t know what all those women saw when they looked at you, but it can’t be the same thing I see.”
~What is it that you see?~
She took a deep breath and attempt to gather her thoughts into a coherent fashion. “Maybe when they saw you, you reminded them of a storm that covered the sky at night, full of destructive power, and it made them afraid. But… all I can see when I look at you is what’s behind the storm.”
~Which is?~
“You’re the stars, not the storm. Your Majesty, you’re the light that shines when the storm passes.” She shook her head and laid it in her hands, unable to keep her overwhelmed tears from spilling. “Oh, I don’t even know if I’m making sense. But, Your Majesty, please believe me when I tell you that I don’t just want to marry you because I feel as if I’m in your debt, even though I most certainly am in your debt. I want to marry you because… I… I just do! I don’t even know how to explain it properly. I just… I would be happy to be your wife and honored to be your queen. If that’s what you want.”
~Wouldn’t you be happier marrying a normal man?~
“My Lord, I had no thoughts of marrying at all before I received your summons. If I did marry, it would most likely have been someone my family chose for me. With you, I get a choice. And I’ve chosen you.”
Slowly, he wrote, ~Are you sure?~
“Yes, I’m certain.”
~Then why are you crying?~
“Because I’m happy,” She replied, her voice shuddering as she laughed.
He held out his hand to her. ~You truly mean this? You’re accepting the proposal?~
“Yes,” She replied, taking his hand. “I’ll marry you right now if you want.”
He seemed to chuckle. ~It is enough that you said yes freely and without reservation. I am pleased.~
He turned toward the door, and it flew open after a moment, and all five of the attendants stood there with their mouths hanging open, staring at the pair holding hands. He must have told them the good news telepathically.
“Sire, congratulations!” Larima said. “It’s about time one of these women saw sense!”
“Larima, hold you’re tongue!” Aquamarine said, boxing one of his ears.
“His Majesty says that the wedding will have to be soon,” Raba told Lilya. “He regrets to have to rush it, but there is a political upheaval brewing to the west that he must take care of. He honestly hadn’t expected you to accept, so he hadn’t canceled his plans to intervene.”
“That’s quite alright,” Lilya said, grinning a little giddily. I can’t believe it! I’m really getting married! “I understand his Majesty must be terribly busy. I don’t mind if the wedding is soon. Oh!” She turned back to the king. “Can my family attend the wedding? I promised that I’d keep in touch with them, and I’d like them to meet you. Would that be alright?”
“He says that would be fine, except he’s worried that your family will not like him, which doesn’t normally bother him, but that it may cause trouble for you,” Raba said.
“It’s fine, I’ll explain everything to them. Thank you, Your Majesty!”
Lilya threw her arms around His Majesty’s waist, hugging him. He went completely still and his body tensed under hers, as if he were at the mercy of a pack of rabid dogs. Lilya, sensing his discomfort, released him immediately.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep! I was just so excited that I acted without thinking.”
If a headless person could gulp, His Majesty would have done so. He straightened his lace collar and waved his hand.
“He says it’s alright, he was just startled,” Peridot said. “He also says that as his chosen queen, your word is equal to his. You may give any order you wish and the staff with follow it without hesitation.”
“I understand, Your Majesty. Thank you.”
He bowed deeply in response, his arm across his chest as a show of respect.
Peridot clapped her hands eagerly. “Come now, princess! There’s much to do to get ready for the wedding and only a short amount of time to do it!”
The triplets led Lilya from the room, tittering happily. Once the door closed behind them, the king fell into a chair as if exhausted.
She’s like a whirlwind, He said to Raba and Larima. I am completely at her mercy.
“I’ve never seen you like this, My Lord,” Raba said. “She must have made one hell of a first impression.”
That is an understatement. Send a letter to her family inviting them to the wedding. It’ll make her happy to see them.
“Of course, Your Majesty,” Larima said. “But… are you sure she’s the one? In all these years, after all those interviews, are you sure you’ve found your queen?”
It’s her; I knew it the moment I saw her, the second I heard her voice.
“The second she didn’t scream, you mean, sire?” Larima said. Raba flicked him in the forehead.
I’ve spent sixty years… no, much longer than that, looking for her. I’m not going to wait anymore. Begin preparations for the wedding immediately.
“Yes, My Lord.”
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It took only a week for the preparations to be complete, seeing as the wedding would be a small affair. His Majesty said he would give Lilya any kind of wedding she wanted, no matter the expense, but she said all she wanted was for her family to be there and nothing else. All that was left now was to wait for Lilya’s family to arrive.
She hadn’t seen his Majesty since the interview, but she knew he had to have been incredibly busy. He was the monarch of a vast empire, after all, and he genuinely didn’t think he’d be getting married so soon.
A day before her family was due to arrive, a dress appeared in her quarters. It was gorgeous; a white, princess cut ball gown with a sheer layer of silk over the top painted with pink roses. The neckline was a low square-cut and it had half-sleeves with lace frills. On top of the mannequin holding it was a lace veil that trailed the ground and glittered as though it was woven from diamonds.
“Oh, how beautiful!” Lilya said. “Is this for me?”
“Yes, it’s your wedding gown,” Aquamarine said. “His Majesty had it sent down for a fitting.”
“It’s lovely,” She breathed, daring to reach out and touch the fabric, though it looked so delicate that it might disintegrate under her fingertips.
“Here, let us help you,” Garnet said, beginning to untie the laces.
Garnet, Aquarmarine, and Peridot assisted Lilya in putting the dress on. Though it fit like a glove around the waist, the skirt was just slightly too long. The sisters assured her it was a quick and easy fix.
That night, she was alone in her room looking at the dress, newly tailored and ready to be worn, and began to get anxious.
“What if I trip and tear it?” She fretted. “A dress like this couldn’t have been made in just a few days, no matter how many seamstresses worked on it; The lace on the train alone would have taken months to tat. It must be some kind of imperial heirloom. What would I do if I destroyed it? Would His Majesty be angry or cancel the wedding? What if he decides he doesn’t want a klutz for a wife?” Lilya scrubbed her face and sighed forcefully. “I need some air.”
She went to the long gable windows and unlatched one side, letting it swing open. The night air was cool and refreshing, and the aroma of the nearby gardens was soothing.
As she was about to close the window again, a wild gust of wind rushed in and caught up the veil, blowing it out of the window.
“No!” Lilya yelled, throwing her foot out of the window and jumping to the ground. It was a good thing her room was on the ground floor. She chased the veil across the lawn until it eventually got caught in the branches of a tree.
“Oh, come on!” She groused. The branched were too high for her to reach, so she was going to have to climb the tree in her nightgown to get it back. It didn’t help that there were no low branches for her to grab on, so she was basically going to have to shimmy up the trunk. How dignified.
“Okay,” She said, taking a breath before she started up. One foot, one hand, over and over. It seemed to take ages, and when she looked down, it was as if she hadn’t moved at all. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have stopped working in the stables. I have no core strength anymore.”
She was nearly at the lower-most branch when her foot slipped and she lost her grip, falling from the tree. She expected to hit the ground pretty hard, but she fell onto something soft. Looking around, she realized to her horror that His Majesty,  was on his back underneath her, having broken her fall. He was dressed in a casual white buttoned-up shirt and simple black slacks, likely his sleepwear.
“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry!” She said, scrambling to get off of him. “Are you alright?”
He pulled out a small pad of paper from the inside of his shirt and a fountain pen.
~I’m fine. Are you alright? Why were you climbing a tree at this hour?~
“My veil,” She replied, pointing at the branches. “It flew out of the window. I was trying to get it back down.”
~Why didn’t you call the sisters?~
She laughed a little self-consciously. “I panicked. I was scared that I’d tear it and you’d be upset with me.”
~I wouldn’t be upset over such a trivial thing. It’s just a piece of fabric.~
“How did you know I was out here?”
~I saw you from the window of my suite. I was worried you would hurt yourself or that you were running away.~
She was a little alarmed. “Were you chasing me down to bring me back?”
~No, I was going to watch over you until you got somewhere safe. Don’t worry, you’re free to change your mind at any time. I wouldn’t hold that against you.~
“Oh,” She said, surprised. “Your Majesty, I have no intention on going back on my decision. I meant it when I said I’m happy to be your bride. You feel the same, don’t you?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he stood up and easily reached the branch with the veil. He was quite a bit taller than she was. Pulling it down carefully, he folded it and handed it back to her.
“Sorry to have caused you trouble,” She said, worried by his silence. “I’m afraid you’re bride-to-be is a little clumsy.”
~It’s nothing. Let’s go back.~ He held out his hand for her to stand up, and she took it, feeling sad.
He doesn’t want to marry me, She thought. He’s just doing it because I’m the only one who didn’t refuse him. I like him very much, but he doesn’t feel anything for me. That’s not fair to him.
The triplets met them back at the castle and escorted her back to her room. His Majesty left her in their care with a bow and went back to his quarters.
“Just call us next time, My Lady!” Garnet said. “His Majesty would be devastated if anything happened to you.”
“He might be inconvenienced, but I think devastated might be too strong a word,” She said. “He doesn’t even really want to marry me, he just thinks he has to.”
Peridot scoffed. “Why on earth would you think such a thing?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m just the only person who accepted. I’ve only seen him once since the marriage interview, and that’s because he was rescuing me from a fall. He doesn’t really want to be with me.”
“My Lady, that’s absurd, of course he wants to marry you!”
“How can you be sure?”
“Look,” Aquamarine said as they reached her room. She opened the door and lay the veil back on the mannequin with the dress. “You see this? Where do you think it came from?”
“It’s an heirloom, right? Something that’s been in the royal family forever? It couldn’t have been made just for me, there wasn’t enough time for that.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Garnet said. “His Majesty himself made this gown for you.”
“He did?” Lilya exclaimed, looking more carefully at the gown.
“Yes, with his magic. Do you know what he said to us when we were waiting outside of the office door after you agreed to marry him?”
“What?”
“’She said yes!’ he said. Every interview before always ended the same. He would tell us, ‘I don’t like her’ or ‘she’s lying’ or ‘she looks like she’s going to pass out, take her back to her room and let her go home’ or ‘why do they keep sending these women with dirty souls to me?’ He always sounded so dejected. But when you accepted, he was so excited. I’ve never heard him sound so happy.”
“Miss Lilya, you must understand,” Peridot said. “His Majesty’s mother died when he was born, and he was raised by nurses. In truth, he grew up never knowing the love of another person. Now as a man, he has no idea how to express affection for others. Until now, it’s never come up as a problem, but he sincerely wants you to be happy.” She pointed at the dress as an example, and then to the pad of paper on her desk. “You see those notebooks?”
“Yes?”
“Ordinarily, those would only be in one place: and His Majesty’s office, since that is the only place His Majesty meets with people who can’t hear him telepathically. But now, every single room in the castle has a notebook, just in case you’d like to talk to him. He’s doing everything he knows how to do to make it comfortable and easy for you, he’s just operating outside of his, admittedly, vast expertise. Give him some time. He’s very intelligent, if a little dense and insensitive. He’ll learn.”
Lilya smiled softly, touched. “I had no idea.” She pulled the sisters in for a hug. “You’re right, I shouldn’t jump to conclusions. His Majesty and I don’t know each other well, for all that we’ll be married in a few days. I think when he gets back from the diplomatic trip, we should spend time rectifying that.”
“I think that’s a lovely idea,” Aquamarine said.
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My Masterlist
The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist
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My Five Favorite Chilling Tales of Holmes
Given how shocking, dreadful and unbelievable actual crime was in Victorian England, it's a testament to Conan Doyle’s desire to make a mark with Holmes that he did not fashion his stories after the horrible crimes happening around him.
No, Conan Doyle eschewed rehashing the stories of real life murderous doctors, spurned lovers poisoning wives of married men, rampaging tramps committing mass murders of families, and grudge-carrying servants in favor of mostly tame stories of crime (blackmail and theft of inheritances probably being the most common in his tales).
I say "mostly" because he did write some ghastly cases for Holmes to solve. The Hound of the Baskervilles alone would be enough to secure Conan Doyle's name as an author capable of writing great fantastical horror.
But he didn't stop there. Here's my top five favorite tales of chilling crimes that Holmes has ever had to face:
THE CARDBOARD BOX
I can barely bring myself to read this one when I reread the stories. It is not only horrifying -- an elderly woman receiving a pair of severed ears anonymously by post -- but the truth behind the crime speaks to the utter misery that humans can and do render unto others. We see Jim Browner's happily married life crumble to pieces by the connivances of an infatuated sister in law, whose introduction of another man to her sister is the beginning point of so much tragedy. Alcohol abuse, loss of love, affairs, and a terrifying chase scene and death. All because one woman hated her brother in law for not loving her. It is a fine examination of the things we're willing to do to each other out of our own misery, to make others feel as miserable, but by God is it a terrifying and vivid tale.
THE RETIRED COLOURMAN
Probably second only to The Norwood Builder when it comes to stories that feature the creepy things a spurned man will do, this story is almost too much to bear. Most of the stories in The Casebook are unbearable, but that's another matter (and an opinion for another time). For any true crime buff it may ring eerily familiar to spousal homicide cases within the past fifty years. And yet the advanced and almost ingenious double homicide took place well before the stuff Forensic Files loved to pick apart. The fact that you are not certain until the very end that the pair have been murdered (and not just locked up or escaped) is unnerving, and the way in which we find out makes it all the worse: Holmes bluntly asks Amberley, "Where are the bodies?" Everything the murderer does marks him a very cold, diabolical person who is perhaps the third most dangerous man Holmes had the displeasure of tangling with. Then there’s the thought that this man is 60 years old.. someone that old doesn’t begin his criminal career with such a huge and almost perfect crime. What other crimes has he committed?
THE DANCING MEN
Along with “The Five Orange Pips”, this is one of those tragic tales where the client is done to death before Holmes can take any action. However, the tragedy of the wife’s past -- which she so desperately tried to put behind her -- catching up to her AND her husband, leaving her shot in the damn head and widowed is just so much more horrible to me than the events of “The Five Orange Pips”. Holmes was so close to the end, too, to the point that if he had finished his work just a few hours sooner, he may have saved a life. Just because the woman was the daughter of a mob boss and attracted the affections of a thug, she is unable to start a life where all of that is put behind her. The past catches up with an innocent woman, getting her injured and her husband murdered. All because some thug refused to leave her alone. It’s creepy. It’s also plausible and has happened before (with less drama perhaps, and no ciphers).
LADY FRANCES CARFAX
My god. What about this story isn’t gruesome and terrifying? Just imagine you’re an unmarried woman vacationing in a foreign country, and a couple of criminals take a shine to you because you happen to wear an expensive necklace. Next thing you know, after being charmed and delighted by these seemingly good-natured religious folk, they kidnap you back to your home country, gassing you with chloroform all the while, steal all your valuable jewelry (which is all you have to your name) and then stuff your nearly-gassed-to-death body in a coffin, on top of an actual dead person, in order to be buried alive. Jesus Christ. The ineptitude of Scotland Yard was almost fatal this time, as the warrant didn’t come until the woman was practically in the ground, and Watson could barely resuscitate her upon getting her out. Whether in real life or the pages of these stories, I’d hate to be at the mercy of Victorian-era Scotland Yard (Abberline was an insufferable buffoon).
THE CROOKED MAN
Another one to go under the heading “tales that exhibit how shitty the human race is”. It’s another more tragic-than-chilling tale like The Dancing Men, but I find it horrifying all the same. The crooked man in question had his sweetheart and all hopes for a normal future snatched away by the most cunning, cowardly and disgusting excuse of a fellow soldier (!) who betrayed him into a trap in order to get with his sweetheart. Pretty messed up. However you feel about colonialism, this guy spent years being beaten and tortured until his body became deformed, and tried many times to escape unsuccessfully. In Victorian England, a man so deformed as to be stooped over and one who isn’t elderly enough to explain such a posture would be considered a freak and wouldn’t be able to live normally in society. And thus it was for him. He lived a quiet life far away from anyone who might recognize him, and made the only living he could with his exotic pet and snake. All this, just because he was in love and loved by a woman that a fellow soldier of his wanted for himself. And that man got her. She married him, and was married to him, ignorant of his treachery, for thirty freaking years. Imagine being married to such a scoundrel, a man you didn’t even see yourself with and honestly pining for the man you thought long-dead, for so many years and not knowing he was the reason your lover was presumed KIA. Imagine having so many years of your life wasted with a despicable creature. And imagine not being able to be with the man you did love, upon finding him alive, because of the way society was back then. This story is so horrible and tragic.
Special mentions: The Bruce Partington Plans, for the terrifying things people will do for money, and The Devil’s Foot, which at least saw some vengeance.
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spellsword177 · 3 years
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Book Recommendation: Arcane Casebook Series by Dan Willis
In an alternate 1930’s New York there are three known types of magic. The wonderous spells of sorcerers, the amazing concoctions of alchemists, and the intricate designs by runewrights. Runewright Detective Alex Lockerby uses his talents to solve crimes, expose murderers, end conspiracies concocted by secret organizations, and stopping spy rings all while wooing bombshell sorceress Sorcha Kinkade. Along the way, Alex meets famous historical figures like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Paschal Beverly Randolph; takes on versions of legendary figures such as Heckyll/Jekyll/Hyde, the mummy, Jack the Ripper/Dracula, and the wolfman; and encounters everything from blood magic and Legion to Nazis and the Mafia. Written by Dan Willis, this series has proven to be an exceedingly entertaining mix of the Harry Potter Series with The Maltese Falcon, Indiana Jones, and the magic lore of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. What follows is my personal ranking of each current book in the series excluding the prequel Dead Letter as of July 2021. The dates are rough estimates based on statements in the books. If you haven’t previously read this series, I highly recommend it. You know within reason all hell is about to break loose with WWII around the corner.
Unranked:
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Book 0: Dead Letter (2018) – Set in April 1930 (though it sometimes fits better with the rest of the series in 1927), see how Alex Lockerby came to know his secretary Leslie Tomkins, Japanese-American policeman Danny Pak as he runs across a deceased John Doe who possessed clothing way too expensive for the homeless. Why is the NYPD so determined not to investigate and what does it have to do with a woman who died twenty years ago? This one served as nice establishing novel, but is shorter than the rest of the series while free is only available digitally.
Ranked:
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7. Book 2: Ghost of a Chance (2019) – In a steamy August 1934, Alex takes on a series of locked-room murders committed by a figure the police have labeled “The Ghost.” Can Alex find the culprit and what ties each victim together? Will he find sorcerer Andrew Barton’s (this world’s version of Howard Hughes) prototype engine? Each book is great, but this one appeals to me the least.
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6. Book 3: The Long Chain (2019) – A dense, seemingly unnatural fog as descended on New York in October 1935, and Sorcha wants Alex to solve the case. What does it all have to do with a recently found Nobel-Prize winning Chemist with a case of amnesia? Will Alex be able to find a missing alchemist for his friend, Dr. Killian? I found the inclusion of science to be an interesting addition and the twist ending of the missing alchemists to be thrilling.
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5. Book 5: Limelight (2020) – May 1937, a mysterious new drug has appeared on the streets of New York granting users extraordinary and previously thought impossible abilities such as a blast rune used in a string of bank robberies plaguing Manhattan. Will Alex Lockerby find the culprits before it’s too late? In the meantime, can he help Danny find out what happened to a dead mystery writer looking into Broadway’s most famous murder from fifteen years ago? I happened to run into an advertisement for this book which got me interested in the series in the first place.
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4. Book 1: In Plain Sight (2018) – The first book in the series introduces us to Alex Lockerby in September 1933 as his brought by Sorcha Kinkaid into the search for a legendary runebook called the Archimedean Monograph. Will Alex find the legendary book or vanish under mysterious circumstances like so many before him? Meanwhile, can Alex stop a magical plague from being unleashed on New York like it was at a local soup kitchen. This was a brilliant introduction to the series, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
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3. Book 4: Mind Games (2020) – It’s time again for the Mayoral Elections in October 1936, people are strangely committing or attempting to commit murders of people they don’t know, larger portions of the homeless population are missing, and runewrights are being driven out business by cheap, mass produced runebooks. Can Alex get to the bottom of this mystery before it’s too late? Has a wayward heiress also been affected? Yes, in the real world the election was in 1937, but it wasn’t too hard to accept the slight adjustment in time. I enjoyed the drama as this book plaid out and appreciated the long-term rising tensions.
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2. Book 7: Capital Murder (2021) – For the first time, Alex Lockerby is brought out of New York to Washington, DC in December 1937 by Andrew Barton to help consider expanding Barton’s electric grid to city. While there is roped into investigating the death of US Senator Paul Young, by the late senator’s wife. Can he solve the murder when DC Police and the FBI are largely uninterested? Why did someone break into the Smithsonian to steal a seemingly worthless artifact and maul a guard to death? Where is Lucky Tony’s nephew? I loved the callbacks in this book and the exposure to new and, in some cases, unexpected locations.
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1. Book 6: Blood Relation (2020) – Young, female prostitutes have been found dead, exsanguinated, and surrounded by strange symbols that deteriorate the crime scene at alarming rates in September 1937. Will Alex Lockerby be able stop this madman before the ritual is complete? Can Alex find the connection between a dead woman who worked with government secrets and seemingly unconnected variety of thefts at local warehouses by a gang of expert thieves? Looking back, this one is easily my favorite of the series and I look forward to seeing the story continue to unravel in coming books.
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