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love-fireflysong · 3 years

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It be June 3rd now, and would you look at that, the second of my prompts is already up! Who’d a thunk it? Anyway, as successfully guessed by the lovely @torahime here is 5 + 1! And as by the nature of this trope in general, this one ended up long. Like crazy loooooooong. (Also I’m a moron who didn’t understand what the prompt meant for like a week. I kept trying to figure out what the hell the number six had to do with anything, and when I finally googled it out of desperation, all I saw were the words ‘five times’ in the first link and I immediately felt ashamed of myself. I should have known. Why didn’t I know?)

Anyways, you can read the long-ass fic in question at ao3 over here: Do You Ever Wonder What Could Have Been? You can also read this one under the cut, but considering the length I wouldn’t recommend it asdhaskdjh The next one should be much shorter due to the fact that like the first one, I blanked for ideas completely lol.

Do You Ever Wonder What Could Have Been?

Trope: 5 + 1 Fandom: Until Dawn Characters: Ashley Brown, Chris Hartley, Josh Washington (all the other kids also make an appearance but due to them only having like one scene and a single line each I’m not tagging them) Words: 12733 Rating: Teen (though I think I’m being pretty damn generous with that rating tbh) Authors Notes: Yes you’re reading that word count right. Almost thirteen thousand words. Don’t ask how I managed to write this in 5 days, I have no fucking idea. Just take this fic about two nerds being morons in love and mutually pining over each other for six. fucking. years.

Chris is fourteen and so goddamn tired of this stupid crush on his best friend. It's been a whole year now since he met her, and he hates that this stupid, silly, little, crush of his hasn't abated at all. He doesn't even know why he likes her in the first place! It's just Ashley after all, there is absolutely no reason to feel this tongue-tied around his best friend. It's Ash: with her braces, arms always full books (when her head wasn't buried in one that is), stringy red hair, wide green eyes, who sometimes snorts when he tells a joke, freckles that dot her nose and shoulders and—

Okay, he was maybe getting a little side-tracked here. The point was, there was 100% absolutely no reason to feel this way about her. In fact, he bets this was all Josh's fault in the first place! Yeah! That was it! None of this would be happening if Josh hadn't basically kidnapped Ashley from her true home in the library and forced him to meet her!

...But then he wouldn't have met her. And stupid crush aside, she is pretty much the only girl he knows who laughs at all his jokes and helps him with his English homework sometimes. He likes knowing her and likes being her friend even more, he just doesn't like liking her. And maybe that was it? Maybe he just likes Ashley cause she's the only girl who willingly hangs out with him and Josh, and isn't Josh's sisters.

And that's what he's going to prove today once and for all. He heard from Josh that Hannah was absolutely adamant that everyone was going to play spin-the-bottle at her and Beth's birthday party in a couple of days. And that everyone meant not only the people that the twins invited for said party, but also the people that Josh invited over (ie: Chris and Ash) so he would have some company during the twins big b-day bash. Chris was going to find Ashley and explain that losing their first kiss over a game like spin-the-bottle was just so not cool, and that maybe kissing each other first would just be a way better and smarter idea of doing things. And once he kissed her he would finally realize that yup, Ash was just one of the guys and that was so fucking gross and they were totally never ever going to do that again.

Perfect idea. Fool proof even. No way that this was totally going to backfire into his face. Absolutely none at all!

So when he finds Ashley sitting and reading under her usual tree just outside of the school, he is so sure of the success of his ingenious plan that he brings it up right away.

"I think we should kiss before Hannah and Beth's party."

See! Right away! Straight to the point. He has got this shit in the bag baby!

Ashley looks up at him, clearly a little startled from reading her book and squints at him. "Huh? Chris? Is that you?" For a second he's a little confused about how Ash doesn't even recognize him, but then he quickly realizes that he's probably got the sun directly at his back so she can't see him clearly and he awkwardly shuffles to the left a little so she can see him better. "Oh! Hey Chris, what was that you said earlier? I got so absorbed that I didn't really hear a thing you said, sorry." While she doesn't close her book, she does give an embarrassed little laugh that makes his stomach flip-flop just a little and starts to weaken at the cracks of his once fool-proof plan.

He finds himself messing with the strap on his bookbag as he tries to ignore the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. 'Um, I asked if you were going to the twins' birthday party this weekend." Okay, falling a little behind schedule now, but it's fine. No problem.

"I mean, I wasn't exactly invited, but yeah. A whole night of graphic horror movies to drown out the sounds of screaming pre-teens. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday night." The absolute dryness of her tone has Chris smiling.

"Oh come on Ash, it's not gonna be that bad."

"Our choices are either to hang out with a bunch of kids who have basically never talked to us ever, or watch Josh's disgusting horror movies Chris."

"Well, I mean, when you put it that way...actually, no. The screaming pre-teens sound like a safer bet honestly." The little snort of laughter she lets out only has Chris pushing the butterflies down harder. God, he is going to be so glad when those stupid things finally leave him alone. "And well, from what Josh said, it sounds like horror isn't the only thing planned for that evening."

"It isn't? You mean he's actually opening up to other movie genre options? Shocking. I truly never thought I would see the day."

"Ha, I wish. Nah, I was, um, talking about what the girls—well, what Hannah wanted to play. Actually." Great. And now he's starting to blush. Really keeping with the rails of his plan there!

"What Hannah...? Oh! You're, uh, talking about the spin-the-bottle game." Ashley brings her lower lip into her mouth and pushes some hair behind her ear. "Yeah, Josh mentioned something about that."

Perfect, one less thing he had to explain. That would speed things up immensely. "Honestly, between you and me? I think it's a stupid idea."

Ashley nods her head vigorously in agreement. "I know right! I mean, who wants to kiss some stranger over a bottle of all things? Can you imagine losing your first kiss to some person who probably doesn't have a single idea who you are in the first place? God that would be awful." Oh man, things are lining up right for him! Ashley's even on the same page and this next part is going to be so easy— "That's why I asked Josh if I could kiss him first instead when he told me a couple of days ago."

Wait. Waitwaitwait wait . She already asked Josh?! "Oh, wow. You were, uh, really thinking ahead there huh?" God, he could feel every ounce of determination he had slowly deflating out of his body. There was no way he could ask her now, absolutely no way! Ashley was gonna think that Chris wanted to kiss her—or worse, liked her! And okay he kind of did, but this was supposed to prove the exact opposite. That this was just stupid hormones and puberty really messing with his life and not something else.

"Of course, there was absolutely no way I was gonna have my first kiss with some popular buttface who was just gonna make fun of me behind my back afterwards. Better to have it with Josh, who would also make fun of me, but at least it would be to my face." Ashley starts to return to her book, flipping a page but stops halfway through. "Wait. Were you going to ask me the same thing?" She sounds a little unsure and a little of something else he can't place right now because he's too busy trying not to panic.

"What? No! God no! Of-of course not!" Oh god, was his voice seriously choosing to crack now? He really, really hoped that the shade being cast from the tree was enough to hide how red his face was. He needed to get out of here and quick .

"I-I-I mean, it's not like it was good or anything—"

"Think I should probably go now anyway."

"It was, like, really wet and-and-and like so bad. Super awkward honestly."

"Lots of things to do. Lots and lots of things to do in fact!"

"I mean, we could still, uh, k-k-kiss? If you want to...?"

"Nope!" Chris was honestly looking everywhere except at Ashley right now, which was fine because she was currently in the middle of trying to hide behind her book. "There's absolutely no reason to do that. Because, because... I already kissed Josh too!"

"...you did?"

"Yup! Totally did. Just came over to see what you had planned to do about it actually. And because you're so much smarter than me, you had totally already done the same thing. So no reason for me to still bother you after all! None whatsoever! So I'll just let you get back to your book. And the battle between the uh, vampire and the, um, cowboy? Riveting stuff I bet."

"Um, yeah. But—"

"I'll just, uh, see you tomorrow then, I guess. Bye!"

Chris thinks he catches a wave of disappointment flash across her face when she returns his farewell, but he's already basically fled half away across the yard to find Josh so he doesn't think about it too much. And it turns out that Ashley is right, kissing Josh is wet and pretty fucking awful in the end. Which should only prove his idea that kissing her would have been just as bad and awkward.

So why does he feel like it would have actually been the complete opposite?

"I'm going to fail."

Ashley rolled her eyes as she struggled not to laugh. "Oh my god, you're not gonna fail Chris."

Chris didn't even deign to raise his head from where he had face-planted it into the open book only moments before, letting his words come out muffled and flat. "I am Ash. I am going to bomb this exam so hard that they're gonna make me repeat ninth grade."

Ashley groaned, but it was more of an attempt to hide her amusement than out of any exasperation, as she tried to lift Chris back into a sitting position and wasn't laid out prostrated over the table. "Okay first of all, get your dumb face out of that book. Ms. Norman is not gonna be happy with either of us if she discovers your drool all over the pages of the only half-decent copy of Lord of the Flies that the school library has." Once she finally has finally managed to prop Chris into a halfway decent sitting position, she moves the book closer to her in case he decides to try smashing his face into it again. "Second of all, I'm pretty sure that the school's not going to make you repeat the grade just because you failed English, your grades in everything else are high enough that they'll definitely pass you. That, and there is no way that the teachers would let Josh move on to high school of all things without supervision."

"...That is a scarily good point."

"And thirdly, there is absolutely no way I would be able to get through the next four years of school with you in my grade," she teases him with a poke in the arm. "I mean can you imagine? Having to go to class everyday knowing you're going to be there with me? I can't think of anything more terrifying honestly."

Chris gives a startled laugh. "Gee, thanks Ash. Really appreciate that vote of confidence. Making my self-esteem soar over here. And also, I for one can think of something way more terrifying."

"Really?" Ashley says as she crosses her arms across her chest and levels him with a disbelieving look. "Well go on then, try me. Cause I can promise you that there is absolutely nothing more terrifying—"

"Me and Josh in the same grade as you."

Ashley just blanches. "Oh god. You're right. That is so much worse and the idea of this even happening is now going to give me nightmares for the rest of my life."

"Oh please, it wouldn't be that bad."

"It would. It so would. And to prevent this we need to double down on you studying for your English final so that this cataclysmic event never occurs."

It's Chris's turn to roll his eyes as he slumps down even further into his seat. "That's what I was doing earlier until you stopped me."

"What? Planting your face into the middle of the book?"

"Exactly. Decided to try out a new method cause the other one wasn't certainly working. Learning by osmosis."

Ashley shoves her face into the palms of her hands to try and stop her giggles. It didn't work, not by a long shot, but it at least smothered them a bit. "You can't just read a book by trying to absorb it into your skin, that's not how things work at all!"

"And how would you know that Ash? Have you ever even tried?" Chris scoffs.

"Of course I haven't you dork! I haven't tried because that's not even possible!"

"Um, sounds to me like someone just isn't open to new ideas."

"Oh my god. Can we please get back to studying and making sure you don't fail. I for one would really like to get back to that." Ashley starts to put the copy of the book back between the middle of them where they can both read it easily. "Okay, so chapter eight is where the divide between the boys finally reaches a boiling point after seeing the 'monster' on the mountain in the last chapter. They argue over whether Ralph should still be left in charge and Jack leaves in a huff."

Chris groaned as he tossed his glasses onto the table so he could throw his arm over his eyes. "Starting to think that Jack has the right idea here." he grumbled.

Ashley ignored him. "Some of the other boys follow after him and form their own tribe with Jack as its chief further down the beach. As a group, the hunters then fall into a savage frenzy when they go hunting and kill a sow, with Roger dealing the killing blow."

"By driving his spear into the thing’s ass," Chris helpfully supplied.

Ashley sighed. "Yes, by doing that. Good to know you're at least remembering some things, but do you remember what happened next?"

Though she couldn't see with Chris's arm in the way, she knew that he was narrowing his eyes in concentration. "Ummm, they... eat the pig?"

Ashley groaned and fought very hard against the impulse to smack her forehead into the center of the table. " Chris . "

"What? Do they not eat the thing? I mean, why even hunt it if they're not gonna eat it?"

"Chris, what they do next is the lead up for what is often considered the most important scene in the entire book! How can you not remember?!"

"I don't know Ash! Kind of think I was distracted by the whole 'shoving a spear into a sow's anus' part!"

"They leave its head on a stake in the jungle as an offering to the beast! This is what creates the Lord of the Flies that Simon sees later that night!"

"Oh right, that. Yeah that sounds a little familiar now that you mention it."

"A little—" Ashley stops fighting against the earlier urge and places her heavy head into her hands in despair. "You literally had to read this book last month! How could you have forgotten so much already?"

Chris groans and drapes himself over the back of his chair. "This is hopeless Ash. I appreciate the help I really do, but I think it's time we face the inevitable and just take a page out of this book."

"What, I stick your head on a pike and be done with you?"

The snort that Chris makes in surprise is enough to bring a tired smile to Ashley's face. "Leaving you to deal with Josh alone? Ha, you wouldn't. Nah, I was talking about just making an offering to the exam gods out there. Think they'll be the best bet I have to pass this shitty ass final."

Ashley removes her head from her hands to give him a withering look. "If we're going that route, you want a kiss for good luck too? Probably work just as well as those gods of yours."

There's an awkward pause, and at first Ashley can't figure out why but then the words finally hit her. She feels her face start to burn and she places her head back into her hands so she doesn't have to look at Chris anymore. Oh god, she can't believe she just said that. Why would she even say that in the first place?! It's a damn good thing that Chris isn't wearing his glasses right now, the heat from her face alone is making her feel like she's about to combust as it is, and him seeing that would probably push her over that physical boundary.

"I-I mean, if you think it will help..." Chris sounds almost bashful when he says it and Ashley snaps her head to him in shock.

"I—" Ashley isn't quite sure what she's trying to say, and is interrupted when her phone buzzes with an incoming text message. She immediately jumps up from her chair and starts grabbing at her things. "Oh man, that's probably my mom here to pick me up. I should really get going."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah! No reason for me to stay if you aren't so I guess I should head out too." Chris starts picking up his stuff too, putting his glasses back onto his face as he shoves his books into his bag.

By nature of having brought less than Chris to help him study, Ashley finishes cleaning first but doesn't leave right away. Chris had said it was fine after all. And sure, maybe he was just desperate for anything that will help him pass his final, but he said it would be fine. So steeling herself, Ashley leans down and leaves a quick but chaste kiss on Chris's cheek.

"For luck!" She manages to squeak out as she all but runs out the doors of the library to the school's entrance where her mom will be waiting for her, too scared to even look back.

Chris should have known that something was up the moment Josh brought it up: 'Hey, how about you and Ash hang out at my house this weekend instead?' Innocent sounding sure, but he really, really should have known better. Josh never pushed for hang outs at his place, it had always been an agreed upon rule that Hannah and Beth got their place, while Josh preferred to host their get togethers and his and Ash's own houses. It was just the thing that was done and everyone had been more than happy with how it was. Had it been any other time, Chris would like to think that he would have totally seen right through Josh's plan and offered up his place instead.

But Josh's parents were almost never around either, and that meant staying up late and talking and goofing around without parents warning them to go to sleep. Which most importantly meant staying up late and talking to Ashley, because that hadn't been a thing that the three of them had been able to do a whole lot recently. It was still so weird not seeing Ash around in the school halls, not being able to hang out at lunch, and not meeting up after school all the time. It felt like there was something huge missing and it bothered him (just as much as it bothered Josh, not that he would ever say anything about it). The two of them wandering the hallowed halls of high school while she was still stuck back in their middle school just felt so wrong .

So when Josh had brought up a weekend hang out, Chris (and Ashley) had accepted right away. Which, judging from the fact that Josh had somehow managed to weasel the two of them into playing a game of Truth or Dare with him, had been a huge mistake.

"Well, well, well. It seems the time has come. So let's get on with it shall we?" Josh rubbed his hands gleefully together in the dim light of the bedroom (for atmosphere he had claimed) as the three of them sat in a circle. A seemingly innocuous plate of cookies sitting in the middle of them, and knowing better then to trust Josh, both Chris and Ash had been eyeing the cookies warily for the past few minutes. Not that Josh seemed to notice or care of course. "Seeing as I'm the one who set up elegant little ritual—"

"You forced us into playing a stupid game dude, there's nothing elegant or ritualistic about it."

Josh ignored him, unsurprisingly. "I'll go first of course. So Ash, truth or dare?"

"What are the cookies for Josh?" Ashley asked nervously as she continued to eye the plate instead of answering him.

"That's not important. And anyways, it's my turn Ash. So I'll ask again: truth or dare Ashley?"

Ashley raised her eyes from the plate to transfer her nervous and mistrustful stare to him. "...truth," she answered slowly.

"Oh ho ho! So truth it is! Well then Ash, tell me: have you got any secrets you've been dying to share with us?"

Chris could immediately tell that the question had hit a sore spot on some sort, shoulders locked and her body stiff. "You know I'm not gonna answer that one. Pass."

Josh shook his head, a devious smile on his lips. "Nope. Nuh uh Miss Brown. That's not how this game works. If you're gonna pass then I'm gonna have to ask that you take a cookie in return."

"...I'm sorry, what? "

He waved a hand down towards the plate of cookies. "These, my dearest chums, are the fabled Truth or Dare cookies. Anytime one of us refuses to act out what is asked of us, we must then take a cookie in penance."

At first, Ashley doesn't move. She continues to dart her eyes suspiciously between Josh and the plate of cookies, but eventually slowly does reach out and hesitantly grab a chocolate cookie from the plate. She holds it up closer to her face to investigate it further, and Chris watches as all the tension she had stored up just evaporates from her as she physically deflates. "Oh my god, are you actually being serious right now Josh? ‘Dare’ brand cookies? Really? Why in the world are you trying to be so ominous when you went with a pun as lame as using Dare cookies in a game of truth or dare?"

"Wait, really?" Chris reaches out to grab one for himself but Josh smacks his hand away with a grin.

"So sorry Cochise, but these are only for if you refuse. And trust me, you don't want to refuse." Josh turns back to Ashley. "Oh, and don't eat that just yet."

In response, she just shrugs and leans back, but keeps the chocolate crème filled cookie in her hand as she looks between Chris and Josh. "It's my turn now, right? Okay, so—"

Josh cuts her off. "Nope, still mine. Now, Chris—"

"What? That's not how this stupid game works Josh!"

Josh waves her off. "You didn't answer my question Ash, or eat the cookie, so it's still my turn."

"But you just told me not to eat the stupid thing!"

Josh ignores her as he keeps his attention squarely on Chris. Who, to his own shame, has begun squirming in his seat in dread of what's going to come. "Well, Chris: truth or dare?"

Chris tosses the options over in his head. Both are terrible obviously, but playing this game with Josh of all people never ends well, so he decides to go with his gut instead. "Dare."

"Ooooh, feeling a little gutsy are we? That's fine, I can work with that. I dare you to... return the favour and do one thing you've been thinking about alllllllll summer."

Personally, Chris is finding it a miracle that he hasn't reached over and tried to strangle Josh yet, but he has a feeling that has more to do with the fact that he's trying not to shrivel up on the floor and die than out of any mercy. Even though Josh for some reason worded it in a really convoluted way, he just literally dared him to kiss Ash. It was so obvious that he was frankly amazed that Ashley hadn't figured it out yet.

Because of course he still thought about that kiss for good luck that Ash had given him in the library. He thought about it nearly all the damn time! Hell, Chris was pretty sure that the reason he had even passed his final even a little bit was because of the kiss. Not because it was good luck or anything, but because whenever a question appeared on the exam that asked about the themes or some shit about Lord of the Flies, he kept getting sent back into that library where Ashley had been drilling the same stuff into him just before she had kissed his cheek.

And there is absolutely no way that he's gonna kiss Ash in Josh's bedroom. No way in hell. Especially not when it's gonna reveal that he had been thinking about what was more than likely a super innocent and helpful gesture on her part.

So glaring at Josh, Chris reaches forward and without a word grabs a vanilla cookie. And for some strange reason, this only causes Josh's smile to widen. "I see, so that's what you both went with huh? Anyways, I think it's about time you take your 'reward' and chow down!"

Exchanging a confused look with Ashley, Chris nonetheless shrugs and pops the entire thing into his mouth and bites down.

And realizes in a horrifying instant that this is not a vanilla cookie.

There's a flash of light that blinds him for a second, and when the spots clear he sees Josh holding a camera and laughing his ass off.

"What the—? Is this fucking mayo dude?!" And it must be, because this is not what a vanilla cookie should ever taste like. While the cookie portion itself is okay if not a little soft, the crème is way too oily and eggy to be anything but mayo. Josh doesn't answer his question right away, but that's from a combo of laughing way too hard and being distracted by Ash trying not to retch in the middle of the bedroom floor.

"Oh my god! You put soy sauce in a cookie?! What is wrong with you Josh?!" She's up in a second and rushing to the garbage can near Josh's desk, and Chris is quick to join her in trying to spit everything out. "I'm never going to get this salt out of my mouth! Why would you even do that?!"

"Cause it's fucking hilarious that's why!" Josh is still laughing as he takes a look at the picture he took on the camera, and starts laughing harder. "Oh fucking hell, this was glorious. Oh wasting those two questions just for this picture was so worth it. Best decision I could have made!

"Now you two get your asses back over here! I spent hours on these cookies after all, and I am not letting them go to waste. We've got hours my friends, and so many questions and dares to get through."

Chris shares a look with Ashley over the garbage bin, both of them now obviously wondering if keeping their own secret had been worth having to eat those cookies, and if they still would have passed their turn knowing what exactly laid in store for them. While he certainly couldn't say a thing about her, Chris wasn't so sure if not kissing Ash and enduring all the fallout that would have resulted in was worth the terrible combination of vanilla and mayo in his mouth. He supposed he would never know, it was too late to simply retract his pass after all.

And well, he really didn't want to kiss Ash when she had just been tricked into eating a bunch of soy sauce.

You know, Ashley kind of figured that once she entered high school all of these stupid games would be done with. Surely high schoolers were too mature and too old to be playing childish games like spin-the-bottle or seven minutes in heaven? And yeah, obviously Chris and Josh weren't, but that was them and they were in a class all their own. But Hannah? And Sam and Beth? She would have thought that they were way too cool to be playing spin-the-bottle of all things, especially Beth.

And yet, here Ashley was: squeezed in between Matt and Sam as Matt spun the bottle around on the now extremely sticky hardwood floor. She wasn't stupid, she knew the entire reason the game was even being played in the first place; Hannah had been making eyes at Mike all through the evening and well into the game after all. She just didn't think that anyone else would have been stupid enough to go along with the game when Hannah suggested it.

(Ashley knew very well why she had reluctantly agreed to play, she just didn't know why anyone else did.)

Though to be fair, it didn't seem like the game was gonna last much longer anyway. Emily and Jess had started scrolling through their phones ages ago, showing each other whatever was on the other's screen every few minutes and the two of them laughing. Mike had been tapping a really off-rhythm beat on his jeans with the straw from his can of soda and staring into space, while Hannah stared lovesick at him . Beth was starting to doze on Sam's shoulder, not that either seemed too concerned about it, and Sam was nervously eyeing all the spilt pop and chips around them that they were gonna have to clean up before they went to bed. Unsurprisingly, Chris was also scrolling through his phone, snickering every now and then as Ashley felt her phone buzz in the pocket of her hoodie whenever he sent whatever it was that he found funny to her and Josh. Josh meanwhile, had joined Matt in building a rather shaky—if not impressive—tower out of discarded plastic cups, straws, and paper plates.

Ashley yawned behind her hand as the bottle slowed it's spin. She had been ready to drop out of the game a round or two back, but hadn't yet because she didn't want to deal with the others teasing her on being a sore loser who backs down the moment the bottle didn't land on the person she wanted it to. Which would lead to Chris asking who it was even though everyone else already knew who because it was glaringly obvious to everyone except him. The sound of the bottle stopping its spin managed to get everyone's attention as they looked at the neck of the bottle pointed squarely at Mike.

Everyone made the expected ' oooooooh ' and wolf whistles that everyone always did in this game, though quieter than they might have usually. Bob and Melinda were sleeping upstairs after all, and the last thing any of them wanted to do was wake them up and have them discover that despite it being nearly three in the morning, that the ten of them were still awake as the snow storm raged outside the lodge. Nonetheless, Matt and Mike both rolled their eyes and leaned over Josh who sat in the middle of them with a groan. Mike also didn't hesitate to take Matt's face into his hands and just plant one firmly on his mouth with no fanfare, other than the continued wolf whistles of course, and the two of them settled back down to their previous antics.

With that done, Ashley stared down nervously at the bottle. Once again, she felt the words stick in her throat. It would just be so easy to say "Oh man you guys, it's really late, I should really just go to bed" but let them die without a fight as she swallowed nervously and gave the bottle a hard flick. She knew exactly why she let the words die, and it wasn't solely because of what the others would say, though that was certainly a large part of it. No, it was because of the same glimmer of hope that sparked in her everytime it was her turn at this stupid game. That maybe this would be the time that the bottle would land on Chris, that she would finally get that kiss she's wanted for three years now.

She watches the bottle spin around the group, slowing its motion every full spin, and she notices that Chris has turned his attention away from his phone to watch it almost as nervously as she is. Which should probably make her question just why Chris is as just as invested on who it's gonna land on as she is, but she's kind of distracted right now by the fact that her heart is rapidly picking up pace in direct contrast to how much slower the bottle is getting. And feels it stop almost entirely when the bottle begins its last revolution and she knows. She knows . It's finally gonna land on Chris. All these years of playing this stupid, stupid game and it's finally happening.

Ashley's eyes shoot up to meet Chris's over the bottle, but that's also when the lodge suddenly plunges into darkness just before the bottle stops on him.

Immediately, the others are screaming next to her and the tower of cups and plates fall with a soft clatter.

"Oh my god! What the fuck was that?!"

"Holy fuck! Can you guys see anything?"

"Of course we can't see anything Michael!"

"It's probably just the storm you guys. Settle down."

"Can you guys please quiet down? My parents are sleeping and they're gonna kill us if they find out we're still awake."

Ashley isn't yelling though, because she's too busy screaming internally. There is no way that this is actually happening right now. There is no goddamn way. The bottle finally lands on Chris and the power goes out? Because of some stupid storm? She wanted to scream. She has half a mind to reach out and hold the bottle in place so there's proof of this when the power comes on, or to just jump over the distance and kiss Chris anyway. She knows exactly where he is after all, and he must have seen it land on him. He must have, right? It's that little second of uncertainty that decides for her, there's a sound as someone gets up and the flat 'thunk' as they accidentally kick the bottle across the room.

"Shit. My bad. You guys stay here, I'll go and check out the back-up generator in the basement. You coming, Cochise?"

Ashley can hear Chris awkwardly and quickly getting to his feet. "Um, y-yeah. Right behind you, bro."

The two of them walk away leaving Ashley to sit on the floor about to scream from the frustration of it all. And she does scream that it is, though not from almost having the perfect excuse to kiss Chris, but from someone touching her shoulder.

"Sorry, sorry!" Sam apologizes. "You were so quiet Ashley that I got nervous. I know that you're scared of the dark and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Oh, yeah. That's right. She was so preoccupied with the dark ruining what was almost going to be the highlight of her entire year , that she kind of forgot that it was, well, dark now. And once that realization hits her, so too does the fear that she's sitting in absolute darkness and can't see a single thing other than the lights being cast from everyone’s phones. That she has no idea what else—or who else—is out there. She frantically reaches out and wraps up Sam's arm in her own for a physical reminder that there is someone else she trusts in the darkness with her.

"Wait, you're scared of the dark Ash? Shit. Here, just give me a second." From next to her, Matt rustles in his jacket pocket and brings out his phone, turning it on and casting light around the room, and reflecting off the plastic bottle that Josh had accidentally kicked to the other side of the room. "Hope this helps a bit."

Ashley lets out a breath and a small smile. "Yeah, it does. Thanks Matt."

"No problem. Hey, I think I may have a funny video saved on here somewhere. Pretty sure I downloaded it so just give me a moment." He finds the video quickly enough, and while Ashley doesn't find it particularly as funny as he clearly did, she does appreciate the effort anyway.

Thankfully for everyone, the lights come back on soon enough. Though whether from the power coming back or the back-up generator activating, she isn't sure. It is enough to convince everyone that maybe it's time for bed though, and no one asks about her spin and who it landed on, which Ashley is both insulted for and thankful of in equal measure. Sam unfortunately reminds everyone of the mess they've all made of the great room though, and that they should all clean it up before Bob and Melinda wake up and find it, which Hannah and Beth eagerly echo, and so does Josh when he makes his way back up from the basement with scowling Chris in tow.

Thankfully, between the ten of them, the clean up takes very little time and they're all on their way back to their own rooms in record time, even if Ashley was too embarrassed to even look at Chris now. God, she couldn't believe that she had seriously considered jumping him! And for what? Just because some bottle told her to? Oh man, she never would have been able to live that down. She still spends more time then needed to get ready in the bathroom, and then laying in bed with her lamp on in the hopes that maybe Chris will knock on her door to confront her about the spin and ask for that kiss.

While the fact that he doesn't make an appearance doesn't surprise her, it's still a little depressing.

Chris is going to kill Josh. He is going to kill him . And he means it this time. Years spent watching Josh's horror shit and listening to Ash go on and on about her mystery novels should have given him a real edge actually. He can murder Josh violently in the way that the weirdo would probably like to go and then Ash can help him get rid of the body so that no one will ever know it was him. Easy.

You know, assuming Ashley is still gonna want to even associate with him after this.

"You feeling okay, Chris? You're starting to look a little red... and surly."

"Yup, I'm fine. Just peachy in fact." Chris takes another swig of the punch that has somehow not been spiked yet, and tries to plaster a smile on his face for her only to once again start looking over her shoulder. Not that there's anything interesting over her shoulder of course, unless one finds a group of football seniors trying to play a game of chicken in the middle of the dance hall interesting, but it's easier than looking straight at her. Not because she looks terrible of course—good god is that not the reason—but because she is way too fucking gorgeous for him to handle right now.

When Chris had decided to invite her to his and Josh's grad thing, it had just been a way for all three of them to hang out and enjoy their last year of high school together. School rules dictated after all that for some stupid reason, graduates weren't allowed to invite anyone who wasn't in school anymore so Ash wasn't going to be able to ask them to hers next year. Which was complete and utter bullshit of course, but that was beside the point. It was supposed to be a fun night... and then Chris's parents found out. And being the complete pain in the asses they are, they insisted that if Ash was going to this party with them, and it was a formal party, then they needed to make this proper. So against his wishes and leaving Chris wanting to die, they went and found out what colour of dress Ash was going to be wearing and got him not only a matching tie but a fucking corsage to go with it! The only thing that had made all of that even a little better, was that they had forced Josh to go along with it so at least he wouldn't be alone.

But then Josh had showed up not wearing his stupid tie and without the fucking flowers. And despite Chris's repeated protests that he didn't want to do the whole matching thing, especially if Josh wasn't doing it, his parents still made him do it anyway, saying all the while that 'it would make Ashley happy, you do want to make Ashley happy don't you?' And now here he was, sitting with Ashley at their table while she wore his stupid flowers on her wrist and his tie matched her green dress.

He hated how fucking obvious his crush was s0 much.

"...It's because of what everyone's been saying isn't it?"

At the dejected tone of her voice, Chris immediately snaps his full attention to her, leaving his glass of punch forgotten as he flaps his hands around in an effort to not reach out and grab at her hand. "What? No! God no! That isn't it I swear!"

Ashley sighs sadly as she looks glumly down at her lap. "It's fine Chris. I can understand if it's making you uncomfortable."

Chris takes one of his ineffectually flapping hands and makes to run it through his hair, before remembering the amount of gel he had put in it before coming and rubs at his eyes beneath his glasses. "I'm serious Ash, that's not it. I was honestly just thinking about the different ways I'm going to murder Josh when he gets back."

She laughs a little at that, and turns to look out into the direction of the buffet table, as though she'll be able to see Josh coming back with their food through the literal sea of people. "He has been gone a while hasn't he? He left like twenty minutes ago and he still isn't back. Do you think he even went to the buffet table in the first place?"

"He better have. Him coming back with food is probably about the only thing that's going to stop me from murdering him honestly."

Ashley laughs a little louder, and when she pushes a stray strand of hair that had come undone from her simply styled updo, Chris catches the while flowers on her wrist and feels his stomach flip pleasantly. "Any particular reason you want to kill Josh this time?"

"I mean, I have plenty but let's just be honest with ourselves here: do either of us ever need a reason to wanna kill Josh, Ash?"

And there it is, the surprised snort he was waiting for and that just made this entire evening a little more bearable. "God, you're not wrong." She follows his eye line to the corsage on her wrist and just like that all levity to the situation is gone as she hides her hands back in her lap under the table. "...you're sure that you're okay with what everyone is saying though?" she asks a little nervously.

Honestly? No, he isn't. Ever since the three of them walked into the party, everyone they had talked to right away had noticed the matching colours and the corsage and all comments had been the same. 'Fucking knew that there was something going on between you two' and 'Hey, it's about fucking time' or 'Always knew that you two would be good together'. It had been bad enough realizing that apparently almost everyone he had ever spoken to even a little bit had known of his super obvious feelings for his best friend, but the absolute worst thing had been the pained but polite smile that Ash had forced onto her face every single time.

"Honestly, I'm never going to see most of these people ever again once I graduate." He's avoiding the question, and he knows that she knows that he's avoiding the question. "But you're probably gonna have to deal with people brining this stupid thing up for the entire next year. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It's not like this is something I don't deal with already." She says it with a little shrug and smile, but Chris can feel his heart sink anyway. How long has she had to deal with the bullshit that his stupid crush has caused her, and why had she never told him? It's way too late to try and fix things, but he can at least hopefully try and stop any further comments from coming, so he lets his fingers fly to his tie and starts to frantically undo it. "...What are you doing Chris?"

"Wondering why on earth I let my parents talk me into this. This is obviously making you uncomfortable and I should have taken this stupid thing off ages ago." His fingers keep catching on the knot and he lets out a fairly explicit curse under his breath.

Ashley's eyes go wide with realization. "Oh!" She instantly flips over her wrist and starts fumbling at the clasp of the corsage with her other hand and Chris finds that his heart has somehow managed to travel all the way from the bottom of his stomach straight into his throat. Abandoning his only partially undone tie, he lays his hand on hers to stop her.

"You don't have to do that." She's staring at their hands in wide-eyed shock, and his breath catches. "Not if you don't want to, that is. It-it looks good on you."

"Okay," she whispers softly, eyes still wide as her fingers leave her wrist, "I can leave it on."

"Only if you want to though." When the hell did his mouth get so dry?!

"I do," she looks up to him when she says it, and the earnestness of her smile bowls him over. "I really, really do." In an effort to try and distract himself from her smile, he starts fumbling at his tie once again and he catches her eyes flickering to it. Ashley's smile somehow only brightens as she laughs at him. "Here. Let me give you a hand with that."

She scoots her chair closer to him and he removes his hands from his tie so she can take over. The two of them say nothing as she places all of her attention on continuing to loosen the knot, while Chris tries his absolute hardest not to swallow...or breathe...or do anything at all really, as he just stares down at her in awe.

Once the knot is finally undone, Ashley slowly pulls the entire length of fabric from his neck and places it on the table, before putting her hands back where they were so she can carefully smooth out his shirt collar. And when she looks back up at him with a smile, he can feel the entire world stop as they just stare at each other and Chris slowly starts to close the infinitesimally small distance between them. And he's probably just imagining things, but he thinks that she's doing the same thing as well.

"Jesus Christ, sorry it took so long you guys. Line for the fucking food was longer then you would believe!"

The two of them fly apart so fiercely, that Chris's entire chair manages to tip over backwards and send him to the ground with a loud clatter. He can feel everyone's eyes on them and the murmurs that follow, and he hopes that they're mistaking the redness of his face for the embarrassment of falling out of his chair. Yeah, that's a story that's going to make the rounds before he graduates for sure.

"Shit, you okay bro?" From his spot on the floor, Chris watches Josh place a couple of plates absolutely piled high in food on the table and reach down to help him up with a laugh. "Oh hey, I see you finally decided to take off that stupid tie too. Surprised it took you this long honestly."

Chris accepts Josh's hand up. "Yup, me too." He hopes and prays that Josh just thinks that the absolutely breathless and stunted quality to his words is that he's just a little winded from the fall. Once he gets his chair back up and sits back down, he grabs at the tie to shove it in his pocket. He notices that Ashley is refusing to look at him as she digs out a couple of sandwiches from the miscellaneous pile of food, even as she fiddles with the strap of flowers on her wrist for the rest of the meal.

He's exceptionally thrilled to note that she does keep the corsage on the rest of the night though.

Five times. That's how many times her phone has gone off in her pocket. Five. Times. And every single time Ashley lets out a sigh of relief when the buzzing finally stops, it goes off again only seconds later. And checking the caller id the first couple of times only showed that it was Josh calling her. Normally Ashley liked to think that she would have answered her phone if it was literally anyone else, but this was Josh. He called for every little thing after all; from letting her know that he saw a super big dog on the way home from classes to informing her that he was out of chips and if Ash could pick some up on her way to meet them from her job then that would really just be swell. And considering that he and Chris were supposed to meet her and grab a bite to eat together while she was on her lunch break, he was probably just calling to let her know that they had just left, and to make a milestone out of every block closer the two of them got so she could greet them with all the pomp and circumstance he likely thought he deserved.

Though to be fair she probably would have answered her phone after the third ring, if only to tell him off, but Jared had been giving her a stink eye from his office pretty much since she had arrived so she hadn't.

So she let it buzz...and buzz...and buzz. Until finally, her phone stopped yet again and she tensed her shoulders ready for the next round of vibrations to start. But there was nothing. Nothing but blissful silence coming from her pocket and she let out a huge sigh of relief as Ashley got back to work shelving some of the new stock, letting Kyrstin and Curtis deal with the short line of customers that had begun to form as they bought their books and whatever little trinkets littered the entire front of the store.

She hoped Chris and Josh got here soon, she was overdue for her lunch break and the smells coming out of the nearby food court were calling her name. Particularly the chinese place, she had been craving them for the last week at least . Plus, Jared had been raking her over coals about how her availability was going to drop dramatically once she started college in the next couple of weeks, and one of the creepy regulars had followed her around the store for-freaking- ever (she's pretty sure he had been staring at her ass the whole time too honestly) until Curtis had basically shoved her into the back room to let her escape while he covered for her. And surprise surprise, Jared hadn't been too thrilled about her 'abandoning her post' and yelled at her about that too.

Whoever said that working in a bookstore was a lazy job where she got to read books in her free time was a dirty, rotten liar. It was hell on earth and she was going to slowly tear the fingernails off whoever it was that said it (even though she had a sinking feeling it had probably be Ashley herself that said it back when she romanticized working in bookstores when she was, like, ten ). God, she really really needed that Chinese if she had any plans of surviving the last four hours of her shift.

The phone at the front desk behind her begins to ring, but a quick backwards glance has her realizing that with poor Curtis trying to deal with an older woman who is adamant that the book he's trying to sell her is the wrong one because she is 'positive that the book had a light purple cover and this one is lavender, that is two different colours and I want the right book now ' and Kyrstin being forced to deal with the rest of the line herself, that Ashley's the one who's going to have to answer the phone. With a groan of resignation (she hated answering the phone at work but Jared was in a horrendous enough mood as it was), she stood up and made her way over, repeating the greeting she was going to have to say over and over in her head so she (hopefully) wouldn't mess it up. And taking a deep breath, and repeating the greeting once more in her head, she forced a smile to her face as she picked up the handset.

"Hi! Thanks for calling—"

"Fucking finally Ash."

In an instant, Ashley could feel every ounce of nervous energy violently expel from her body as she nearly doubled over with another groan, this one entirely of exhaustion. She took quick glance over her shoulder, but Jared seemed to busy with another phone call in his office thankfully. "What are you doing Josh?!" she whispered angrily, "I'm at work right now you moron!"

"Uh yeah, I know. Why do you think I called you using this number?"

Ashley gave Kyrstin an apologetic and pained smile when she looked at her curiously, who responded with a good-natured shake of her head and a laugh under her breath as she turned to help the next customer. "Well, you didn't have to call here."

"Kinda did, Ash. You kept ignoring me."

"I was ignoring your calls you butt, you could have just texted me instead you know."

"Hmmm, no. Anyways I tried calling to tell you that Chris and I might not be able to meet up with you for lunch."

Ashley felt disappointment flood her entire being. "Oh. I see. But you really could have just—"

"We're at the hospital while Chris gets some x-rays done."

Immediately any disappointment fled her body as Ashley all but collapsed on the counter for support as her legs gave out on her. "Is he okay?! Oh god, is he okay Josh?!"

There's a pause on the phone and all Ashley can hear is her own blood pounding in her ears. He has to be okay. He has to be, he just has to be!

"I dunno, it was a pretty gnarly fall. Don't know if he'll ever truly recover, there was a lot of screaming after all."

Ashley doesn't even respond as she slams down the phone and turns to Kyrstin and Curtis who are looking at her in shock as her entire world falls to pieces around her. "I-I have to go. Chris is... Chris is..." she can't get anymore out with how it feels like someone is ripping her heart out of her chest. "Josh said he's in the hospital and...and..."

Curtis nods quickly as he runs to the staff room, and Kyrstin just starts shoving her towards the door as they all ignore the customers who are standing around awkwardly. "Go. We got this."

Ashley turns her head towards Jared's office. "But I gotta—and, and I need to grab my stuff—

"Nope. You go. Curtis and I will figure something out, and Becks arrives for her shift in another half hour. We can manage just fine until then. You just get out of here right now."

Ashley doesn't try to fight anymore than that, not with how hard she's fighting to hold back breaking down in the middle of the store after all. Curtis meets her at the entrance with her bag and shoves it into her arms. "Do you need me to call you a taxi, or give you a ride, or anything? Kyrstin can drag Jared out of his cave if she's gotta." Next to him, Kyrstin nods furiously in agreement.

Ashley has never loved anyone as much as she loves her coworkers in this instant. "No, my-my mom gave me the car for today."

With that little bit of approval, and a random customer shouting ‘I hope he's okay hun!’ at her, the two of them shove Ashley into the mall itself and the very instant she crosses that threshold she takes off running, shoving her way through people and nearly falling down the stairs in her effort to get to the parking lot as quickly as she can. She is so, so glad that her mom basically forced the car on her today instead of letting her take the bus as originally planned, she doesn't know how she would have lasted if she'd had to wait for a taxi to arrive and pick her up.

As it is, once she's finally (and somehow safely) managed to arrive at the hospital and found a spot to park, she's nonplussed about the fact that she didn't leave any imprints in the steering wheel from how hard she had been gripping it the whole drive over. She fumbles with the clasp on her seatbelt with shaking hands, almost bursting into tears about that fact alone, but she eventually manages to free herself and basically throws herself out of the car, only remembering to lock the door behind her when she's about halfway to the hospital doors.

The moment she bursts into the waiting room, Josh is sitting there waiting for her. He looks up at her in surprise as she hurries towards him, then down at his phone and back up at her again as he gives a low whistle. "Shit Ash, how many laws did you break to get here that fast?"

She ignores him. "What happened?! How is he?! Just tell me he's okay! Please, please tell me he's okay!"

"I mean, I suppose he's as fine as he could be considering the circumstances." He seems to sense that she's about ready to scream at him so he quickly follows up with "He's on the second floor, in room 272 if you want to see him."

Ashley doesn't even bother to thank him as she bolts to the nearby elevator, frantically pushing the 'Call Elevator' button nonstop until the door opens and then doing the same thing to the second floor button as it carries her up. Her eyes are burning in an effort to hold back her tears but she can tell that the dam is about to burst any second, especially with how long this elevator is taking to move. She doesn't even wait for the doors to open fully, squeezing through them the moment they're wide enough and accosting some poor nurse until he points her down the correct hall. She hurries the rest of the way, staring at every number on the wall until she finds room 272. And then she stops, her hand on the door knob as she braces herself for whatever she's going to find. Chris lying in bed, covered in blood and bandages with a heart monitor beeping next to him, just broken and shattered beyond all repair. With a choked back sob she opens the door—

and finds Chris sitting on the bed looking up at the ceiling bored to tears with a splint wrapped around his pinky and ring finger on his right hand.

"Finally! I thought you would never get here, so if we could just get this over with—" he looks over at her standing in the doorway shell shocked and still in her work uniform and jumps to his feet. "A-Ash?! What the hell are you doing here— Wait, did you just come here straight from work?! "

"You're okay?" Ashley hates how small her voice comes out, "You're really okay?"

"What? Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Who told you—"

Spell broken, Ashley’s bag falls from her shoulder to the ground with a small clatter and she dives towards Chris, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Oh thank god. Oh thank god. " Chris starts to return the hug, likely more than a little confused about what's going on, but she's already moved so her hands are on either side of his face as she tugs him down to her level so she can get a better look at him. Twisting and turning his head this way and that as she looks for any bruises or cuts. "Josh told me that there had been an accident and—"

"Ash!" Chris interrupts her by taking her wrists in his hands—though he winces at the pain that likely forms as a result of doing so—and speaks as calmly and reassuringly to her as he can. "Ash, it's okay. I'm fine . I promise. I just tripped earlier that's all."

Ashley takes in the sight of the scuffed up palms of his hands, and the holes in the knees of his jeans that certainly hadn't been there before, and knows that Chris is telling the truth. Though it doesn't explain the splint on his hand.

"Okay, and I might have broken my finger doing so."

Ashley just stands there so dumbfounded and relieved in equal measure, that she blurts out "Josh said that there had been screaming."

To her surprise, Chris only gives an embarrassed groan as he stares at an area just over her shoulder "God, Josh is never gonna let me live that down is he? Okay, so my finger may not have been the only thing that broke..." Confused, mainly because except for the bandaged finger and ripped jeans he seems perfectly okay, Ashley looks over her shoulder and follows his eyes to his phone laying on the counter just behind her. The screen completely shattered to hell and back with no promise of life anywhere on it. Just the dead, black screen reflecting the ceiling above on its cracked surface

"Wait," Ashley starts to feel the relieved giggles try to break free as her nerves finally settle, "are you telling me that you broke your finger but you were more worried about your phone? "

Chris sputters as he starts to wave his splinted finger infront of her face. "I mean obviously! This doesn't cost me any money to fix Ash; that's what health care's for! But my phone? Do you know how expensive that thing's going to be to replace? How many paychecks I'm going to have to put towards it? All the money I saved up this summer for school: gone! All because of a stupid little sidewalk curb!"

Ashley can't help it, she starts laughing uncontrollably as she collapses into a nearby chair with her head in her hands. "Oh, I am going to kill Josh when I see him, kill him! And then Jared's gonna kill me for bailing at work and not telling him! God, and I just left in the middle of a rush too! Remind me to buy Kyrstin and Curtis a cake or flowers or something as an apology. Oh my god ."

"You just ditched work? Ash!" Chris falls back onto the bed as he laughs with her. "Why would you even do that in the first place?!"

"Josh told me that you were in the hospital getting x-rays! What was I supposed to think?"

Chris rubs at his eyes beneath his glasses. "I asked him to let you know that we were probably gonna be a little late for lunch while I waited to get my cast! Fucking hell, I'm so sorry."

"Am I interrupting anything or..."

The two of them turn to see a doctor looking up at them with an upturned brow, and holding what Ashley assumes (and hopes) to be the materials needed for Chris's cast. "This is Chris Hartley's room correct?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. That's me."

The doctor nods, and walks towards Chris, but stops in front of the chair Ashley is sitting in. "I'm sorry, but I will be needing that chair sweetheart." With a squeak of apology, Ashley jumps out the chair and moves back by the door so fast that she's almost certain that she had managed to teleport over there, almost tripping over her forgotten bag in the process. Red-faced, she picks it back up and goes to leave (and possibly strangle Josh violently) but is stopped by the same doctor as she sits down in the chair with a chuckle, shaking her head. "You don't have to leave if you don't want to. It'll only take a couple of minutes to get this cast on and then he'll be free to leave with you."

Now even more red-faced (if that was even possible), Ashley just slowly shuffles over to the table where Chris's (broken) phone and wallet is, nervously fidgeting with the strap of her bag as she waits for Chris to get the cast on. Taking Chris's hand in her own, the doctor—Dr. Klorens her name tag reads—scowls at the now slightly bent fingers in the splint, which Chris only gives a sheepish shrug and smile to, and sighs as she unwraps his fingers so she can reset the splint. And Ashley blanches at the deep, dark bruises that spread all the way from the middle of his pinky to nearly halfway down his palm that she had completely failed to notice earlier before those are once again lost.

And as promised, once the Dr. Klorens has put the cotton sleeve over his hand and trimmed it to the desired length, it only takes her another couple of minutes to wrap starting from the center of his forearm and all the way up to the center of his palm and then finally finishing with his splinted fingers. As the three of them wait for the fibreglass material to dry, Dr. Klorens goes over the do's and don'ts of cast care, which Ashley takes serious note of because she knows that Chris won't. Especially the 'do NOT get the cast wet' part, he's gonna forget about that one the moment Josh tries to bait him into another water gun fight.

"Alright, I think that's about it. Just come back in three weeks so we can do another x-ray to check and make sure that the bone's all healed up before we remove it. Just let someone know that you're done with the room when you leave, and remember to check out at the front desk." She gathers up her supplies and makes to leave, but stops to look over her shoulder at them with an amused smile on her face. "Oh, and if you two take the stairs, just make sure that you're careful. I know that we're in a hospital already, but I don't think any of us want to deal with any more tripping instances. Especially if they result in another broken bone." After waiting for Chris and Ashley to meekly agree to be careful, she finally leaves the two of them alone once again.

"Welp, that's it for my summer. 'Fraid I'm nothing but a cripple now."

Sighing, Ashley turns to Chris with a tired smile. "You are not a cripple, oh my god. You have a broken finger, you didn't lose the entire arm you dork."

Incensed, Chris waves his cast at her. "Um, do you not see this thing Ash? I may as well have. I've lost the use of two of my fingers now! Two! And on my right hand to boot. I can't hold a controller to play games with, I can't type, I can't text. What am I supposed to do Ash if I can't hold a single thing in my dominant hand anymore?"

"I'm sure you'll manage," she dryly responds. "Now come on, let's get out of here. I have to figure out how in the world I'm going to explain this to Jared so he doesn't fire me."

"Pretty sure that you should just let him if you ask me."

Ashley groans in agreement, but says "It's only another couple of weeks until college starts. Just hoping I can hold out until then, I need the money after all."

Chris lets out a resigned breath but then starts eyeing her work apron. "You got a sharpie in there?"

"Um, I think so. Why?"

"Uh, so you can sign my cast, duh. You missed out when I broke my arm when I was like nine, so you can be the first to get your name on this one."

"Trying to weasel my autograph out of me huh?" Ashley asks even as she digs through one of her pockets to pull out the sharpie in question, and joins Chris to sit next to him on the bed.

Chris laughs. "Damn, you figured out my devious plan. Thing’s gonna be worth a fortune when you make it onto the bestsellers list one day. Gonna be fighting off all sorts of crazed and fanatic fans."

Ashley shakes her head as she chuckles and writes her name on his arm, but pauses when she caps the pen. Seeing her name on his cast suddenly pulls everything back into vivid clarity, and she remembers the panic she had felt when she had thought—when she had believed —that she had nearly lost him. That this was it, that he was here one day and gone the next, and she hadn't even told him how much he meant to her. How important he was to her. She watches as a drop of water splashes down onto the cast and she finds herself wondering if there's a leak in a room upstairs.

"What the—Ash? Are you crying?"

"Huh?" She wipes her eyes, and a surprised but weak laugh escapes when her hand comes away wet. "Oh, I guess I am. Sorry about that, you're supposed to keep the cast dry and here I am crying—"

Chris places his left hand on her cheek to help wipe away some of her tears. "Oh fuck, I really freaked you out didn't I? Fucking hell. I'm—"

"Do you promise not to hate me?"

The look Chris gives her is nothing short of bamboozled. "Hate you? Ash, what's going on with you?"

"Do you promise not to hate me? Please Chris, I really, really need you to promise me this. Please . Do you promise not to hate me?" She’s fully aware that she’s practically begging right now, silent tears flowing down her cheeks, but if it gets Chris to promise then she’ll gladly throw away her pride for this one thing.

"Yeah, I-I promise. Will you just—"

Ashley doesn't give him anytime to finish his sentence before she's squeezing her eyes shut and she surges up to kiss him. She doesn't want to see his expression, not when all she wants is just to remember everything else that is happening. Remember the feel of his lips before he pulls away, and the warmth of his hand on her cheek. In fact, she spends so much time trying to memorize what she is sure is only going to be a single shared kiss, that it takes her a few seconds longer than she would like to admit to realize that Chris's hand isn't on her cheek anymore, it's moved to the back of her neck so he can kiss her back . The shock of which is enough for her to break the kiss and stare at him with wide eyes.

"Wh—" that's all she can get out before Chris is pulling her back in for a second kiss, and this time she lets her eyelids flutter close as she completely melts into, throwing her arms around his neck to hold him closer.

Ashley's not sure how long they stay like that—could have been an eternity, could have only been a couple of seconds—before they're both pulling back with their faces flushed and giggling like morons.

"Wow," Chris says after a moment, "I don't know what made you think I could hate you after that , but wow . If I had known that this would be the reaction I get, I would have broken my finger years ago."

There's something about the way he says it that has Ashley's heart beating even faster. "How long?" she demands breathlessly, "Tell how long ago?"

Somehow, Chris manages to flush even deeper. "I dunno, like... six? I guess?"

Six years. He'd had a crush on her for six years and she'd had no idea. The moment the realization hits her she starts laughing. "I knew you were trying to ask me for a kiss back in seventh grade! I should have just chased you down and given you one anyway!"

This time, it's Chris who starts laughing at the realization. "Wait, you liked me too?! Then that kiss, back in the library...?"

"You still remember that?!"

"Remember it? Ash, that stupid little cheek kiss is the only reason I passed that final I'm sure! Hell, why else do you think Josh dared me to kiss you in truth and dare?"

"What? No he didn't!"

Chris shakes his head as he moves his hand from her neck to around her waist. "He did! He told me to 'return the favour' and all I had been thinking about that summer was kissing you back. Fucking hell, I almost killed him when he pulled me away to get that generator working that winter in the lodge."

"Oh my god, I almost jumped across the floor to you that night when the power went out after the bottle landed on you."

"You didn't!"

Chris sounded so scandalized at the idea that Ashley presses her forehead to his as her smile widens, which only causes his own to widen in turn. "I did! But then Josh pulled you away and I just completely lost my nerve." She starts laughing at the next memory. "Oh god, I kept my lamp on in my room after that hoping you would stop by if you thought I was still awake."

The answering gape in shock was all she needed before she broke into more giggles. "I saw that! I don't know how long I hovered outside your door trying to work up the courage to knock before talking myself out of it. I think I just convinced myself that the outage had freaked you out badly enough that you needed the extra light to get to sleep."

Once the giggles started to lessen, the smiles on their faces did so as well, softening to something warmer and infinitely more cozy. "I almost kissed you, you know," Ashley confessed shyly. "Back at your grad party."

"Yeah, I-I almost kissed you too. And, just so you know, I wasn't lying then. The flowers looked really really good on you."

"That's good to hear," she admits as she leans in closer, her lips brushing his so lightly it's almost a caress, "I kept them, after all."

Nothing more is said as Chris closes the distance between them again to kiss her, and even though she knows that they really should get back downstairs, she doesn't try to stop it.

They have a long six years to make up for after all.

#my writing #pride month prompt challenge #until dawn #chris hartley #ashley brown #josh washington #chrashley #ignore the weirdly long and frankly unimaginative titles so far #i throw these into an ao3 and tumblr draft at like 2am to post the next morning #so my brain isn't exactly what i would call imaginative lol #or working in general asjkdhasdh #and yes it possible to break your finger in such a way that you need a full on arm cast for it to heal #i would know

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prose-for-hire · 4 years

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Hellraiser

Pairing: Spike x anxious!fem!reader

Request: hello hello i have a prompt for you if you're interested-- for a spike x anxious fem!reader ficlet, with said reader being a horror movie fan and teasingly comparing spike to movie monsters/vampires to his ire

Requested by: anon

A/N: I’m more than happy to write more shy and anxious readers if anyone wants to request any more !! 💖

You were a horror fanatic. Any part of the genre, gore, supernatural, anything and you were already setting up the popcorn and turning off the landline so a serial killer couldn’t interrupt your viewing.

Most people expected you to hate horror, because you were an anxious person. But in fact, they were often the way that you coped. When you were enthralled in a piece of media you were distracted as much as you could be from the current worry plaguing your mind. The chill of the scene before you encapsulating your attention rather than unwanted thoughts that threatened to creep from the back of your mind.

You had walked in that evening, looking a little washed out. Spike could tell it was one of your worse days as your hands had been trembling slightly and you appeared to be stuck in your own mind. You had been his girlfriend for several years now so he knew what you needed when you were feeling like this. He moved to grab a stack of horror flicks that he had on hand just in case of this very scenario and offered you to pick some. He was willing to stay in all night and make sure you were okay, hoping you might fall asleep and give yourself some respite from your anxiety.

Sometimes you spoke about it and sometimes you didn’t straight away, but either way he was there for you. He took a soft blanket to wrap you in, bundling you up and sliding an arm on the headrest behind you. The film started and he spoke softly, commenting on the film and trying to help draw out the worry from your mind.

“Hello, what am I the invisible-bloody-man? Are you listening?” he asked eventually noting your eyes now weren’t moving from the tv, his soft chiding trying to keep it light for you.

“This is a good bit” You whisper, “But good reference” you praised him, kissing him on the nose and making him roll his eyes. You kissed him on the forehead distractedly before turning back to your video.

You yawn, becoming extremely tired now you were able to relax.

“Rest, pet… you look like you need it” He said softly, his voice dropped into such a soothing tone when he spoke to you like this. You could listen to him reading the phonebook and never get tired of it, it could be so relaxing. He knew you well, you became exhausted from some of your anxieties and as you rested against him, your eyes closing as the screams from the tv peaked his attention. He pulled you so that your back was resting against his chest. He dropped his voice again, telling you he’d still be there while you were dreaming. Telling you not to fight the sleep you so needed.

“What are you - Freddy Kreuger? You better not haunt my dreams” You giggle, eyes still closed as you melted into his chest, the contact making you both hum contentedly. But this didn’t last, Spike couldn’t resist.

“Watch your mouth, pet… the fangs aren’t just for show” you opened your eyes and faced him, he flashed his game face at you making you shove his shoulder away from you jokingly as you shifted onto the seat beside him on the couch.

“Okay, Dracula I get it I get it – you vant to suck my blood” you say in a horrific mock Dracula accent, your fingers curling into claws as he raised an eyebrow.

“Oi what did I bloody tell you about that ponce?”

“I know, I know. If I see him I have to ask for his wallet before I stake him” you say, getting up and looking through the stack of videos to select the next flick.

“Too bloody right - that’s my girl” he nodded, the ghost of a frown still on his face.

“If you don’t like being compared to Dracula, can you settle for Count Orlok?” You smiled, aware of his distaste.

“Oh, bloody brilliant – the budget Dracula” he muttered, clearly getting a little more annoyed, “Doesn’t bloody speak and has a right bloody face on the bugger” You smiled at exaggerated sigh, wrapping your arms around his middle and looking up at him as you lay your head on his chest. You smile softly, enjoying the comfort you feel from him. Even when he was sulking, he always wrapped an arm around you. Making sure you were cared for, happy, even despite the way you could tease him about his immortality.

“Your face is always bloody too.. except that’s not what you meant” You backtracked as he rasied an eyebrow, not able to stop smiling at his face, “Well, I could have always called you Frankenstein’s monster”

“That would make you the bride, love” he muttered, your eyes widening.

“W-what-? A-are you asking?” You said straight-faced, but a little grin appeared on your face at his panicked look. A soft giggle at his panic signalling that you had been messing with him.

“Bloody Hellraiser, ain’t you love?” He said, kissing your forehead.

“As long as I’m yours” You giggled, settling beside him as the next video played and you tried to get yourself to relax in his arms. You loved him so much, the smile still on your face as you both returned to the horror film you both enjoyed so much.

#spike x reader #spike x you #spike imagine #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #female reader #anxious reader #horror movie references #i had fun #hellraiser #frankensteins monster #Dracula #Count orlok #invisible man #spike btvs #btvs x you

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solar-pxwered · 4 years

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A List Of Norman Reedus Movies/Shows I Have Seen And My Opinions On Them

1. The Boondock Saints

The Best. A classic. Bloody and inappropriate and if I remember my count correctly, contains 194 “fucks” or variations of it (this movie certainly illustrates the diversity of the word). Terrible Irish accents. A KICKASS soundtrack. Willem DeFoe crossdressing. Dropping toilets on people’s heads. Over the top action sequences. Cheesy dialogue. Campy as fuck. I freakin’ love it.

2. The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Some people didn’t like this one as much as the first one, and I admit that I wasn’t as fond of the new detective in this one as I was of Smecker...but, overall, I really enjoyed it and I drove 2 hours to see it in theaters. I love Romeo more than Rocco. The humor was on point. It was nice to see the original actors for Doc, Dolly, Duffy and Greenley. There was more terrible Irish accents, another KICKASS soundtrack, cheesy dialogue, over the top action sequences, still campy as fuck. I freaking love it.

3. The Walking Dead

Cannot even describe how much I love this show. I have ALWAYS loved zombie related shows and movies so this show was right up my alley from the very beginning all the way back in 2010. I watched it religiously every Sunday. I adore this roller coaster ride of a show and I especially adore Daryl, Carol and Jerry. This show has it all: Comedy, drama (hella lots of that), tragedy and triumph...and it never fails to pulls me in and hold my interest.

4. Mimic

Honestly, I saw this a LONG time ago and I hated it because...well, because I have a cockroach phobia, ok?! Don’t judge. Norman’s part was pretty small, not one of his lasting impressions on me.

5. Six Ways To Sunday

This is a weird one. It’s about an overly innocent 18 year (played by Norman) who gets involved in the Mob and develops an alter ego that’s violent and his complete opposite. There’s murder, prostitutes and good ol’ fashioned mother-son incest and it wasn’t a movie I suggest for the lighthearted or anyone with those sort of triggers.

That being said, I watched the whole thing and didn’t hate it. It was just uncomfortable...as seems to be a theme with Norman Reedus movies.

6. Dark Harbor

This fucking movie...

Ok, so, I’ll be straight with you: I really enjoyed this dumbass movie. It had me guessing right up to the very end and it took me on a very strange ride along the way.

If watching someone sexually feed a woman a poisonous mushroom, lots of dark eyed staring scenes or Norman Reedus making out with Alan Rickman is your thing, then go for it.

7. Let the Devil Wear Black

It’s modern Hamlet. What else is there to say? If you like Hamlet, you’ll like this movie. If you like pre-car accident, baby face Reedus with the black hair, you’ll like this movie. I liked it.

8. 8MM

You know what the best thing about this movie is? Nicholas Cage. He steals the damn show no matter what movie he’s in and no one can even deny that fact. Norman’s part in this one is pretty small too but I liked this movie anyway because...well, Nick Cage. Enough said.

9. Bad Seed

I honestly can’t remember how this movie ends, all I remember was that it wasn’t at all how I expected it. I liked this movie because it’s a psychological thriller and that’s my most favorite genre of all time. The movie’s premise is a guy suspects his wife of having an affair and comes home one night and finds her murdered so he goes after her lover (Reedus) to try and kill him because he believes he was the one who killed her. It’s a cat and mouse chase sort of thing...now I need to rewatch it because I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it ends.

10. Gossip

Ok, no JOKE, this is the best movie I ever randomly discovered and I can’t believe how many people have never heard of it! It’s got some big names in it (Lena Headey, Norman Reedus, James Marsden and Kate Hudson to name a few).

It’s a psychological thriller/mystery drama in which three friends start a rumor at their school as a social experiment for their class. The rumor grows, however, and suddenly it’s out of their hands and spiraling out of control. People start getting hurt, reputations get dragged through the mud and then it escalates to the point of someone losing their life. The three main characters {Reedus, Headey and Marsden) try to figure out the truth behind the out of control rumors and discover more than they ever imagined, or ever wanted.

I HIGHLY recommend this movie. I really, REALLY do. The ending is one of the best twists I’ve seen in a LONG time.

11. The Beatnicks

This movie is so weird. It’s like...it’s just really weird. It revolves around two beat poets who find a magic box that somehow magically helps them get good at being poets but it’s like...an evil box and so they decide to only use it once and then get rid of it. Yeah, it’s a weird movie. Not my highest suggestion.

12. Blade II

Ok, if you’ve never seen the Blade Trilogy then I just don’t even know what to tell you.

My favorite of the three movies, Blade 2 gives us the glorious Reedus character of Scud, the pot smoking, horrible-shirt-wearing, mechanical genius and Blade’s sidekick. Not only is he precious and adorable, the movie in all is enjoyable and has a fun rave-esque soundtrack.

The one thing I hate? *SPOILER ALERT* Scud’s scummy betrayal.

13. Tough Luck

This is another one of those movies that I liked but it’s just so freaking weird.

It’s a psychological drama where a down on his luck con artist, Archie (Reedus), tries to rip off a carnival worker and gets caught. As punishment, he’s hired to work at the carnival to pay off the debt. He gets involved in a scheme to murder the owner’s wife, but falls in love with her in the process.

Things go to shit. He gets the short end of the stick. More plots and lies develop. It’s all twisted until the end and the answers fall into place.

I really like this movie, it’s one that I kept and still have my copy of.

A word of warning though, never leave this movie on your movie shelf for your father to find and watch while you’re away at college, resulting in your mother calling you and asking you why you have such a nasty movie. Because the sex scene at the end is OUTRAGEOUS. I mean, it is the FUNNIEST fucking sex scene I have ever seen in my life and I can’t ever watch it without cringing and laughing. My mother, however, didn’t think it was funny at all and my father was too shocked to even form a sentence.

I highly suggest this trippy as hell movie.

14. Octane

Ok, to be fair, this movie is actually alright, although Norman’s character gets the shittiest death possible. I mean, imagine dying because some psycho vampire kisses you and bites your tongue out. That’s one shitty death.

But, overall, this is a good thriller. Johnathan Rhys Meyers plays the villain and he’s always pretty quality. The story is basically a teenager has a disagreement with her mom and gets picked up by this drugged up, blood sucking, vampire wannabe cult and indoctrinated joining them. Her mother joins up with a tow truck driver (Reedus) whose daughter was also kidnapped years ago and who has been hunting the cult down ever since.

It was a cringe filled, yet interesting, movie and I didn’t hate it.

15. John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns

This is John Carpenter....OF COURSE I liked this one.

I won’t say what it’s about because that would ruin the story, but it’s part of an anthology and John Carpenter loved Norman’s role so much he STILL talks about it today and suggests Norman to people in the industry.

It’s a good one if you’re into horror shorts or anthologies or the genius of the legend that is John Carpenter.

16. A Crime

I had completely forgotten about this movie until I started making this post, but now that I remember...I REALLY liked this one!!

This is a pretty sad one, but it was very good and Norman’s acting in it is absolutely wonderful. His character’s wife was murdered and the suspect was never found so his neighbor, who really likes him, creates a fake culprit so that he can finally get some closure.

This is a good one. I suggest this one if you’re in the mood for a strange sort of romance movie that has underlying thriller tones.

17. Moscow Chill

I remember watching this one, and I remember enjoying it, but I honestly can’t remember anything about it except that it’s a Russian film in which Norman plays a computer hacker who gets hired to hack into a Russian bank and gets caught and put in prison. But I honestly can’t remember what happens in detail.

If you like foreign movies with hacking and subterfuge plots, then give it a try because I do remember enjoying it while I watched.

18. Red Canyon

This one is kinda fucked up. Imagine Daryl Dixon mixed with Breaking Bad mixed with Deliverance and you’ve pretty much got the story...

A brother and sister return to their mother’s hometown to settle things and put their horrible past behind them...but upon returning they end up reliving the nightmare all over again.

It’s a good thriller/horror watch, but there are scenes of sexual violence so if that’s not something you can handle, then don’t watch this one.

19. Hero Wanted

This. Is. A. GOOD. Movie.

Cuba Gooding Jr. is the lead and he does an AMAZING job. Gooding’s character is a garbage man who falls in love with a girl who never takes any notice of him. To get her attention, he stages a heist in which he is supposed to jump in, save the day, and win the girl...only the heist turns out to be real and he is shot and the girl is also shot in the process. He sets out for revenge and gets in way over his head.

Norman’s part in this isn’t very big...but HOLY SHIT, was it impactful. His character didn’t have a lot of screen time, in comparison to a lot of other people, but he had a solid backstory and reason for being involved and MY GOD did I cry about it. This was actually the first movie of his I watched AFTER discovering Boondock Saints and it solidified my love for his acting abilities.

A very good watch. Highly suggest.

20. Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

This one is pretty ok, actually, as far as lame horror movies go.

The plot is simple: Blonde, beardy, corn farmer Norman gets slowly driven insane by the haunted scarecrow in his field that he thinks putting up is a good idea for some damn reason. He starts to get more and more violent and rapey as time goes on until his family is forced to take up arms against him.

It’s not bad. Second part in what I THINK is a trilogy? I’ve only ever seen the first two. If you like horror movies then this one is a good watch. As I mentioned though, there is an attempted rape scene in this one so just be aware.

21: Pandorum

It’s an alien movie. Astronauts run into a species that is stronger and hungry for tasty humans. Shepard (Norman’s character) doesn’t make it out alive. If you’re not in the mood to see Norman get LITERALLY gutted or other characters get nommed by aliens, then don’t watch.

If you ARE, then go ahead and watch, because it was pretty alright.

#norman reedus #panja speaks #I just thought anyone wanting to check out more of his stuff should have a starting point

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butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker · 4 years

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There's something I'm trying to put into words,

about the discomfort of straight women who are very into slash and yaoi. It's been bothering me in a quiet way for a while, and then over the weekend it exploded, and I'm trying to pick my way through pain constructively.

There's a couple of things.

~*~

Point zero is that desire is good, actually, and so is fantasy. Keep this in mind, we'll come back to it.

~*~

The first thing is shame. People who are choosing to approach their own desire from the side, not willing to recognise their own bodies or vocalise their desire in their own voice, or think about sex in which their bodies participate. People who are too afraid to work on their own liberation, so take yours.

After all, feminist sexual writing is a whole genre and tradition. The only reason why queer men's liberation feels appealing to these women is that they have nothing at stake in it: it's fantasy, it's safe, it's nothing to do with or about them.

For actual queer men, the process of liberationary sex writing is - of course - mortifying; or there is a stage of mortification and pain one experiences in approaching it. It is not, and never will be, your safe space; that's why you're trying to transform it into one.

~*~

The second thing is privacy. I'd wake up and log on and there would be a full-flown gigglefest about sex in slash, and not being able to quite put my finger on how to say - this is making me feel bad and weird. And in retrospect, this picks up on point 1. Whose bodies are we sexualising in this space. I want to go back and start a conversation about how I prefer girl-on-top and how people who read missionary fic are gross, and hey when you read Barbie/Ken fic, do you see them mostly doing it doggy style?

Because I think that would make-it-real, for these women to feel their own bodies are at stake and being scrutinised in the conversation.

Making my morning coffee, I wonder what kinds of sexual relationships these women have, and if they know that "gay missionary" isn't this abstract concept that appears in fanfiction but a kind of sex they have all the right anatomy to experience for themselves. I suspect they would not like that, and that also the purpose of these conversations is specifically so that nobody envisages them having sex, or being sexual beings.

~*~

The third is experience.

A. thinks that it's a problem that teenagers watch gay porn. (A. wrote her dissertation on gay porn.) A has never had her rights removed on the basis that the world must be made "safe for children".

B thinks there's too much gross stuff in fanfic and it should be banned. B has never experienced fanfic archives removing LGBT material under the aegis of child-protection and removing what is "gross". B has never experienced a reasonable-sounding expansion of anti-kink laws being used in the vaccum where anti-gay laws once stood, the way they disproportionately target queer porn, or are used to harass sex workers, or arrest queer people.

C thinks that anyone who has a gross fantasy, is a hair-trigger away from actually hurting somebody. C is cisgender, and will never be arrested in a bathroom or have her body regarded as inherently a gross sexual fetish. C does not date women, and has never come to learn that a fist may be more easy to take than a kiss, when you are made to feel disgusting for desiring love. C is also asexual - the shame associated with having a sexual expression of any kind is not on her radar. C does not experience gender dysphoria, and had to wrestle with the downright odd things you brain does to manage a libido and an incoherent body all at once. C has never dated someone who survived the peak of AIDS, and has formed intimate connections between blood and sex and death, forged by decades of homophobic media and law. C. cannot tolerate the concept of erotic horror because she has never been made to experience her own body and desires as horrifying.

All these women spend all their free time making stories about imaginary gay and crossdressing men, talking about drag race, and sylvester.

This is not dissonant to them. As we have said, these women see queer man culture as a a place of safety - an escape from patriarchy and their own discomfort. They are unable to comprehend queer expression as a thing that is not safe.

They are very certain that they can tell the difference between a sexual expression that is gross and nongross; and hurting the gross is therefore OK, because punishing perverts will never be co-opted in their soft-focus world of tender coffeshop AUs and gentle longing and having the right kind of gay sex that is photogenic for women to consume.

~*~ A corollary: these things are not for you. What if we defined queer media - one of many possible definitions - as a thing that excludes. Their defining quality is a conversation between queer artist and queer listener, drawn from the conversations the artist had with their friends and lovers, or conversations with the world which anyone within the wall will find familiar.

I am suddenly, humbling-ly and viscerally aware of where the *don’t like white people who like ballroom culture* people are coming from

~*~

The fourth thing is that broader conversation about women with privilege (whiteness, class, straightness), being unable to consider that their behaviour could ever be dangerous or destructive.

Their own narrative of sexual victimhood and shame is central in their own hearts, and they are incapable of adopting an intersectional perspective which adds nuance to their experiences.

~*~

And the fifth is how much they hate you when you try and bring actual queer politics into their fragile world.

Simultaneously asking, on the one hand - could we make this space safe for work again, so it feels a little less like it does now? and being howled at, as if that's an outrageous restriction on their right to talk about pornography.

And on the other, if we are to be a porn conversation place, can we try and rethink the judgemental "anyone who likes weird sex is a threat" attitudes that come up over, and over, and over again.

Needless to say, the needle for "this man is a sexual predator" fired in under 30 seconds and, shortly after demanding I leave the community I established, nobody has spoken to me since.

~*~

There's a particular soreness, I think, of being around people who want to casually chat about drag and feel like Born This Way is theirs and want to PM you about their dissertation on gay porn studios of the 1970s and stan the Marquis de Sade

but cannot take the reality of being around queer people or their lives.

An ugliness, a grossness, a grossness that compounds the passively "being treated like a sexual object" into an active bar on having sexual subjectivity. A be seen but not heard of the bedroom: be seen, a Bowie-chiselled Velour-glamoured Cowley-sparkling Velvet Goldmine vision;

but not heard, as in, don't ever cross that line into talking about real sex in our fantasies (even when our fantasies are your real sex), and don't ever make us consider that our words have weight.

I'm spending time in a little world with women who like Interview with a Vampire, the Company of Wolves, David Lynch and the Marquis de fucking Sade, and who are so fragile around their own fears of desire that they cannot tolerate someone saying - it's fine to be into stuff, and not be ashamed.

This odd middle space, where on the one hand I am comfortable in spaces which are sexually silent - where the horror and challenge of my body and life never come up; and on the other, I am comfortable in spaces which are radically sexually open, in which no-one need feel afraid or judged.

These women, on the other hand, want something else: this desire to talk about sex billowing out of them, irrepressably, but also to use that freedom to box other sexualities down tight - to judge, to shame, to define themselves coyly by describing others as disgusting, to feel that urge spilling into view only to publically run away from it and demand others do the same.

Erotica, without wanking. Desiring men, without women. Thinking about the sex lives of your toy dolls, but not being into that weird stuff. Fantasies, with no bodies. Male sexuality, with no actual men in it.

~*~

I am the last of three queer people who has left that community; and still, I imagine, the "define our own sexuality in coded ways by judging things we are not as gross, and creating in the gaps around our own bodies and desires a world of gay men who are like I wish to be" conversations are going on; but unobserved by any actual queers who might break the fantasy.

And reader, I liked these people. I'm heartbroken.

#longreads #responses welcome but reblog with care #I have this lovely little note I was sent last week from one of them saying how much they appreciated the work I'd put in to making such a n #nice community #The bedroom politics tag #the feminism tag

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writemywaytoyourheart · 4 years

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Onsra-Chapter 31: Broken Like Me

banner created by: @envity ♥️

pairing: vampire!jungkook x female reader (also tae x ga-in oc & jimin x yuri oc)

genre: romance, drama, horror, angst

warnings for this chapter: language, mentions of blood, mentions of past attempted rape, PTSD, panic attacks, and fluffity fluff cuz I'm a weak ass bITch

trigger warning

word count: 8.8k

Onsra: ML, Previous

idek have anything smart to say so let's just get into it :')

____________________________________

You’re staring at him in complete and utter bewilderment.

“Y-you what?”

“You heard me, I said I love you.”

You blink a few times, trying to process what the heck is going on right now. He must be joking, right? He can’t possibly be serious.

“Seungwook-…I-“

“Please, y/n.” He looks at you desperately. “I’ve been looking for you for so long. Ever since that night they took you, I haven’t stopped.”

You don’t say anything, your mind is in a blur of confusion and anxiety. If what he says is true, you don’t know what to say. You don’t want to hurt him, but you don’t see him like that. There’s a pit in your stomach as you try to figure out what to do now. Seungwook takes a step closer to you, “I’ll explain everything. Please just give me minute to talk.”

You nod wordlessly and sit down on a rock. Seungwook sighs and starts to speak. “A friend of mine told me about them…the vampires. The day you saw my journal over my shoulder I knew you were in trouble.” You swallow thickly but let him continue. “My friend was teaching me how to hunt them and how to tell them apart as they were hiding among us. I knew there were some in our school and they knew I was a vampire hunter. That’s why I got so scared when I realized you saw my journal.”

It all starts clicking into place as he finishes. “They steered clear of me for the most part, but they must have seen you being curious, so they targeted you next. That night I was trying to get you and Ga-In out, but they got you before I could. All I really remember was you being dragged into the dark and then Ga-In and I were jumped. She was gone in a minute and they left me unconscious on the ground. I don’t know why they didn’t kill me.”

You nod slowly. “I was afraid they’d killed you when I woke up and you weren’t there.” You say, remembering everything. “I don’t recall what happened after being kidnapped and before waking up. But Seungwook, you don’t understand, the vampire I was with saved me from them.”

He scoffs and you sigh in annoyance, “I’m being serious! They saved Ga-In and I and another girl, we found out later that they aren’t even real vampires. They were humans that were bitten and turned, but they didn’t have them long enough to lose themselves completely. They hate vampires as much as you do.” You look at him pleadingly and his eyes narrow.

“That’s a good story. I don’t blame you for believing them.”

“It’s true!”

“Even if it is true, they’re still monsters! They drink human blood, they have to!”

“They don’t though!” You’re panicking now. “They only drink animal blood. Please Seungwook, you have to believe me.”

Seungwook looks away from your face, his jaw clenching. “You care about him, don’t you?” He whispers angrily. You hesitate for a moment, afraid of what he’ll say if you admit it.

“Yeah, I do. He isn’t a monster, Seungw-”

“You love him.”

After he just confessed to you, you would’ve thought there would be some trace of sadness in his voice, but all there is, is anger and disgust.

“I do love him.” You say confidently, hoping Seungwook will at least try and understand. “And I care about you too, you’re my friend. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

He chuckles darkly at that, but you continue. “Please, just understand that they aren’t the ones you want to kill, please don’t hurt them.”

Seungwook looks at you, his expression unreadable. “They have plans to turn you, and more. Don’t go while believing I didn’t warn you. And don’t come to me for help when he betrays you.”

With that he turns to walk back into the trees. You stand up, but don’t follow him, “Seungwook, wait-“ He just ignores you and disappears into the shadows. Your stomach is turning with anxiety as you hold your flashlight tightly in your fist.

He doesn’t understand.

You’re so scared that he might tell his other men and now since he knows where you’re all at, he’ll lead them right to the front door. You look back at the house, then turn out your flashlight and mentally curse. You glance back towards the house once more before taking a breath and walking into the woods where Seungwook just went.

After a few minutes, you hear him walking and relief floods through you that you found him again. He’s stomping through the woods angrily, so he isn’t too hard to follow. After a few minutes he stops abruptly, and you hide yourself behind a tree. You peek out and see two more figures walking towards him.

“Had a bad day, Wook?” One of them says, the other stays silent. Seungwook growls and flips his hair with his hand, “Shut up. Did you find it?”

“Yeah, we did. It’s about six miles from here.”

What is?

What’s six miles from here?

You feel your heart pounding as you try to listen to what they’re saying.

“Good, let’s go.”

“Now?”

“I want to check it out before we do anything.”

Your plan was to find out where Seungwook was staying, then you could warn the boys and come up with a safety plan. You don’t think there are any other safe houses to go to, but you’re sure you can all figure something out. Now, it seems like they aren’t going back to their place anyway, but a nagging feeling in your belly tells you to keep following him.

But, six miles?

The three of them start walking away, so you wait until they’re far enough ahead, but you can still see them from the light of the moon before you sneak after them.

This is a terrible idea.

“What were you doing anyway?” One of the others speaks up.

“Nothing, stop asking.” Seungwook grumbles.

You keep following them for another hour. By now you’re exhausted from trying to be quiet and not trip on the rocks and shrubbery while you walk. But they keep going, barely talking, as they walk without even stopping to catch a breath.

Another hour passes and you’re trying your best not to collapse. You know six miles isn’t much for some people, but for you, it has you in stitches. It’s also the middle of the night and you were already tired before deciding to stupidly follow them.

You suddenly remember promising Seokjin not to run out again and you feel a horrible pit in your stomach.

I broke my promise.

You feel tears pricking your eyes from how tired and scared you are, and the guilt of not letting Seokjin know is eating away at you. But by now, you’re already so far from the house you might as well keep following them. I’m sorry, Jin. Suddenly, you hear them come to a stop, so you hide yourself behind a tree.

Finally.

You peek out and see a building through some trees with a few lights on inside.

Seungwook cocks his head to the side, “It isn’t very big.”

“It’s not. But there are a lot of them inside.”

Seungwook sighs, “How many?”

“I’d say at least fifty.”

Fifty?

Fifty??

Suddenly, this whole idea smacks you in the face as by far the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. You’re guessing there are vampires in there. And apparently, there’s at least fifty of them.

Y/n, you are so stupid.

Then, the door bangs open to the building and the three Hunters quickly hide in the bushes. Your heart is pounding out of your chest as you press your back to the tree after hiding yourself again.

A few vampires step out and one chuckles, “I’m so hungry I think I’m smelling things.”

The others laugh darkly, and they take off into the woods, thankfully not close to where you’re hiding. When you look out again, you watch in horror as Seungwook and the other two Hunters run noiselessly into the dark.

Leaving you all alone.

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

You never gave much thought to the fact that you would have to be finding your way back home.

How stupid can you be, y/n? Apparently pretty fucking stupid.

You feel sick to your stomach as you try to rack your brain to remember the way you came. You know it wasn’t just a straight line. You suck at directions, this is bad. This is very bad.

Tears spring to your eyes, you wipe them away and turn to start back the way you feel like you came from, that really being your only choice now.

I’m so stupid, I’m so stupid I hate myself.

You think miserably as you trudge through the woods and fight the temptation to turn your flashlight on. It seemed like a dandy idea to keep everyone safe when you first thought of it, and now you’d pay anyone to beat some sense into your thick skull.

You’ve lost all sense of time and direction about half an hour into the walk back. You’re mentally scolding yourself as you try to keep the tears to a minimal torrent, when you hear something snap. Your body freezes and you breathe so slowly and quietly that it doesn’t feel like you’re breathing at all.

“Oh sweetie, you make this too easy.” A sultry voice comes from your left and you turn your flashlight on to shine it at the disembodied voice, panic surging through you when you see the tall man’s pale skin and red eyes, his black hair tousled.

Please, please, please, no.

Please, no.

You hear something to your right, then another vampire steps into the light, a crazed look in his eyes as he sizes you up, his bleach blonde hair catches the light of your flashlight. A third one comes up from behind you and puts his hand on your waist. You scream and jump, turning to see him smirking. He’s stockier than the others but still at least a good head taller than you. You back up until your flush against a tree, they advance with each of your backward steps, then you’re feeling the rough bark of the tree scratching your exposed skin.

“Fuck, you look tasty. I can’t believe the luck.”

“What should we do? Share her?”

“No.” The first vampire growls. “I don’t like to share what’s mine.”

“How is she yours, you fuck? I found her first.”

“No, I did!”

You watch all three of them bickering over who gets to drink your blood as you try not to cry. The first vampire looks at you and chuckles at your failed attempt to hide your tears.

“Crying, sweetie? Don’t worry, it won’t hurt.”

You’ve done it now. There’s no way you’re getting out of this one.

“Looks like the cat’s got her tongue.” The brown haired stocky one laughs.

“What are you doing out in the woods all alone, and not far from our place, girlie?” The blonde muses as he takes another step. “It’s almost like you’re begging for us to take you.”

The first vampire laughs, “I think she is. Why not have some fun while we’re at it?” He turns to you, “Ever play tag, sweetheart?”

Your blood is rushing in your ears as you clutch your light, willing your hands to stop shaking.

“Here are the rules.” He continues nonchalantly, “Whoever catches her first, gets her.”

The other two’s smirks widen and the stocky one rubs his hands together. “Fuck yeah.” He looks at you like he’d devour you right then and there if the others weren’t there.

“You heard the game, sweetie. Now play it.” The first vampire watches you carefully. “I’ll let you get a twenty second head start.”

He steps forward, then seems to change his mind. “I’ll make you a deal…you escape, then you can live.” The others chuckle darkly. and he looks at you with an amused half smile.

He wants you to run?

He wants you to run so he can have his fun before he drinks your blood?

This is the worst thing that could’ve happened, and you hate yourself more than you ever have before.

“Five…”

Maybe you should just stay still and let them kill you, they will eventually anyway.

“Four…three…”

Fuck.

“Two…one…run, sweetheart.”

Your legs take off before you can even tell them to wait, running faster than they ever have.

One, two, three, four…

Come on, y/n.

Seven, eight, nine, ten…

Your lungs are already starting to burn but you don’t stop. Then you remember the flashlight in your hand, its beam flying around and making you obvious.

You chuck it over your shoulder and pump your legs faster.

Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…

Your legs are screaming at you to stop, but your mind screams louder for you to go go go.

Maybe you’ll have a chance.

Twenty…

Then Jungkook’s words suddenly cram their way into your frazzled mind.

Hide, if you run, they’ll catch you.

You need to hide. The twenty seconds are up and they’re already coming. You need to hide, now.

You dive into a random bush and grab the branches to make them stop shaking, then you clamp your hand over your mouth. Not a few seconds later, you hear something.

But it isn’t footsteps.

It’s breathing.

Ragged, hoarse, and breathy.

The sound makes chills go down your spine, as it is only a few feet away from you. If you had thought to hide a few seconds later, he’d have caught you for sure.

You close your eyes and pray silently that your luck stays.

You honestly can’t believe you made it this far.

Maybe you’ll make it after all.

“I’m going to find you, and you’re going to be fucking delicious.” The way the last word rolls off the vampire’s tongue makes your stomach turn. You just stay as still as you possibly can, then the breathing fades away and you let yourself breathe quietly.

When you don’t hear anything for a good ten minutes, you lay your head down on the cold dirt and curl your legs up. You’re not going anywhere for a while.

~ ~ ~

Jungkook walks into the kitchen the next morning, still sour after waking up and not finding you next to him for the second time. His brows furrow when he doesn’t immediately see you sitting at the table, stuffing your face and giggling with Seokjin.

The eldest looks up, “Morning, Kook.”

“Where’s y/n?” Jungkook asks, brushing off the elder’s greeting. Ga-In clears her throat, “She uh, she went to your room last night. Didn’t she stay with you?”

Jungkook ignores the looks of surprise from everyone at the table as the sounds of chewing stop at Ga-In’s words. He shakes his head, worry already seeping into his mind. “She wasn’t there when I woke up, I thought she had gone back in with you.”

“Maybe she’s in the restroom?” Hoseok suggests, but Jungkook immediately shakes his head again, “She isn’t.”

Jin sets his fork down, “Ok, so she isn’t sleeping in and she isn’t in the restroom. No need to panic, maybe she went out for a walk.”

Everyone nods, but Jungkook can tell that Yuri and Ga-In are thinking differently. He just turns and heads out of the kitchen, making his way to the front door and hurrying out.

“Y/n? Y/n!” He shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth to make himself louder. When he hears nothing but the chirping of birds, his stomach drops to his feet. The grass is covered in a thin layer of glistening drops from it having rained last night.

“Fuck.”

“Where would she have gone?” Jungkook turns to see Ga-In and Yuri behind him, worry clear on their faces. “I don’t know.” He mutters. “But I’m going to find her. Tell Seokjin hyung I’m leaving.”

“No need.” Jungkook sees the eldest step out of the door, his brows creased in worry. “I’m coming with you.”

“Me too.” Taehyung speaks up, the others crowding out from behind him. Ga-In looks like she’s about to say she’s coming, but Tae pecks her on the mouth quickly and shakes his head. She frowns, “She’s my best friend.”

Jin puts a hand on her shoulder, “And that’s why you girls need to stay. If she comes back, someone needs to be here. If it’s dangerous, she wouldn’t be too happy about her loved ones joining in.”

Jungkook puts his hood up and walks down the steps, not wanting to waste any time. He heads for the forest, deciding to start at the clearing.

Jin, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi all follow him. Jimin and Namjoon agree to stay with the girls just in case anything should happen.

“Should we split up or stay together?” Hoseok speaks up as they reach the clearing and find no sign of you.

“Splitting up makes me nervous, but we’ll cover more ground if we do. We should at least go in pairs, though.” Jin sighs, not happy about splitting but more anxious about your safety. Yoongi nods, “Ok, you, Jungkook, and Tae go one way. Hoseok and I will go another.”

Seokjin nods, then he hurries after Jungkook and Taehyung who have already walked off. He catches up to Tae and whispers, “Why are we going this way?” The boy shrugs in response, “Jungkook just said he had a feeling, and it isn’t like we have a lot of options.”

Jin just stays quiet as they follow Jungkook, keeping their eyes open for any sign that you’re around. Jungkook keeps a straight face, glancing side to side as he walks, he looks completely composed.

But on the inside, he’s panicking. He can’t imagine what could’ve happened to you to make you walk off in the dead of night. It’s taking all of his strength not to break down and have a full-blown panic attack. He keeps repeating comforting thoughts in his head, telling himself you just went for a walk and didn’t hear him call, and you would go home and he’d find you safe and sound when he got back.

But a horrible feeling in his stomach is telling him that he’s very wrong.

“Tae.” He suddenly snaps and the pretty blonde jogs over to walk next to him, “Yeah?” Jungkook clenches his fists, “You haven’t seen any signs of her?”

Tae shakes his head reluctantly, “No, nothing.”

Seokjin catches up to them, “She’ll be alright, Jungkook.”

Jungkook fumes at that at first, but then he feels a little spark of comfort in his chest and he silently thanks his oldest brother for trying his best to keep him calm. But he won’t be calm until he knows you’re safe and you’re in his arms.

After a good hour of walking, Taehyung stops the little group as he walks over to a random spot on the ground. He bends down and gently touches a few broken twigs. “Someone was here, I don’t know if it was her though.”

“How can you tell?” Seokjin asks curiously and Tae stands up, dusting his hands off. “The way the sticks are broken is unnatural. Someone had to have stepped on them and broken them to make them look like that. But I still can’t say who it was or when it happened, it could’ve been days ago.”

Jungkook stares at the little sticks, his chest aching as tears form in his eyes. He wipes them away quickly. “Can you tell which way they went?” He asks, his voice hoarse.

Tae crouches again and moves along the ground slowly. “Yeah, I think I can.” A new lift is in his voice. Then he starts off, the other two boys following close behind.

Another hour passes and Jungkook is restless, the other boys trying to calm him down. “She’s hurt, I know she is.” His breaths come in short puffs as he digs his hands in his hair.

“Kook, just take deep breaths. You need to calm down if we’re going to find her.” Seokjin says firmly but gently. Jungkook nods and swallows thickly, then he squints at something a few feet away. He hurries over to it and grabs it.

“It’s one of our flashlights.” He huffs out a breath of relief as he turns the wet flashlight around and switches it off, wondering why it was on. “We’re going the right way.” Then his mind takes a different turn.

“W-why would it be on? And why would she have dropped it?” Panic settles into his mind again and he’s about to say something when someone comes out from the bushes. All three of them turn and see you stumbling out, your hair is in knots and your face covered in dirt. You’re completely soaked as you wipe at your eyes.

When you look up and see them, you flinch, prepared to turn and run as fast as you can in the other direction. But Jungkook’s voice makes you stop.

“Y/n?” His voice is shaking, and he drops the flashlight on the ground before running over to you. You’re engulfed into his arms as Jungkook holds you so close, you’re wondering if you’ll just mash into one body in a second.

“Fuck, y/n. I thought I’d lost you. Fuck, I was so scared.” Jungkook’s voice breaks as he starts to cry. The other two boys just watch, not sure what to do, the relief from finding you letting them take a breath.

You don’t say anything, just keep letting him hold you. Once he can process the fact that you’re real and in his arms, he pulls away just enough to see your face. “You scared me so bad. Fuck. I really thought you were gone forever.” When you don’t reply, Jungkook frowns and touches your face. You flinch a little and his stomach turns. That’s when he realizes you aren’t hugging him back.

“What’s the matter?”

You don’t say anything.

Jungkook tries to cup your face but you flinch away again. Then you seem to realize that you flinched, and your cheeks turn pink.

Taehyung steps forward cautiously, “Y/n? Are you okay?” You just look at him blankly and he feels his heart drop. You don’t meet any of their eyes.

Seokjin comes over, walking slowly. “Something happened. Don’t touch her, Kook. Maybe you should step back for a second.” Jungkook looks back at the eldest, fear and confusion swarming his thoughts. Jungkook steps away from you a little to give you some space, but his mind screams at him to hold you close and never let you go again.

“Ok, y/n.” Jin speaks slowly and clearly. “You’re alright. Everything is okay now, yeah?” Jungkook watches you slightly fold in on yourself, his chest aching. It looks like Seokjin realizes something and he takes Jungkook’s arm, pulling him away from you and stepping back himself.

“Tae.” He says gently. “Go to her and let her know she’s alright. But don’t touch her.”

Jungkook looks at him in confusion, not understanding why he won’t let him go to you. He’s the one you trust the most…right?

Tae makes his way to you carefully, then he catches your gaze and smiles softly. “Hey y/n, it’s Tae. Everything is okay now, we’re going to take you home.”

“Home?” Your voice comes out so quietly that they can barely hear you.

“Yes, Ga-In and Yuri and everyone else are waiting for you. You’re gonna go home and eat some good food and get some sleep. That sounds good, right?” Tae says gently.

“Ga-In?” You whisper and he nods encouragingly.

“So, come on now. We’re going to head back.”

You glance over at the two vampires watching you and Tae sees you stiffen. “Hey, look at me y/n. Just me.”

Jungkook’s chest is aching so bad he feels like he can’t breathe. You’re acting like you don’t even know who he is. What happened to you?

You look back at Tae warily, and he reaches out a hand. You stare at it for a second, then you take it. “Can you walk, y/n?” Tae asks and you shrug. “Would you like me to give you a piggyback ride?”

You hesitate for a moment, then nod. Jungkook watches you breathlessly as he sees your bruised and cut up legs through your ripped sweatpants when you walk closer to Taehyung. The boy crouches enough for you to get on his back, then he helps you wrap your legs around his waist.

Seokjin touches Jungkook’s shoulder gently and whispers in his ear, “I don’t know what happened, but she’s scared of us because we’re vampires. It’s a good thing Tae came with us.” Jungkook nods numbly, the worst thoughts popping into his head as he watches Tae start walking home with you on his back, clinging to him.

He tries not to look at you as you all make your way back, but he can’t help it. You look so small and helpless as you stare straight ahead, bouncing slightly on Tae’s back. A memory of him carrying you out of the forest when you hurt your ankle pushes into his mind and he swallows the lump in his throat before looking away.

An hour into the walk, Jungkook sees you glancing over at him. He just smiles at you softly and looks back ahead, willing himself not to cry. “Hold up.” Taehyung suddenly announces as you start trying to get off his back. He helps you down and you walk over to Jungkook, moving yourself closer until you’re practically squished into his side. Jungkook freezes, wanting to wrap his arms around you but not knowing if you’re okay with that. He looks at Seokjin for help, who nods and sends him a small smile.

Jungkook gently puts his arms around you. Feeling you shaking slightly makes his chest tighten and his eyes sting. “Hey, baby.” He whispers, starting to gently rub your back. Seokjin walks over to Taehyung and pats him on the back, “Good job, Tae.” He whispers and the boy smiles.

“Can I carry you, love?” he asks gently, and you nod. Seokjin helps you scramble onto Jungkook’s back, chuckling when you look like a baby monkey wrapped around its mother as you cling to him. Then you four set off once again.

You end up running into Yoongi and Hoseok in the clearing as they had just finished circling around. Hoseok smiles brightly and runs up to you four. “Y/n! I’m so glad you’re okay!” He stops jumping up and down though when Tae touches his arm gently. “What is it? Are you okay?” He asks but you just tuck your face back into Jungkook’s shoulder. Yoongi frowns and pulls Seokjin aside.

“What happened?”

Jin sighs, “We don’t know. She wouldn’t even trust anyone but Tae at first, I think it’s because he’s human.” Yoongi’s frown deepens as he watches you tighten your hold on Jungkook, his eyes scanning over your beat-up legs as the wheels turn in his head. Jin looks at him curiously as Yoongi speaks quietly. “Has she spoken?”

“Only like two words. What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know.” Yoongi keeps watching you, a sad look flitting across his face. “I’ll have to wait and see.”

The group makes their way back and you see Ga-In sitting on the porch steps, her chin in her hands. When she sees you all coming out of the woods, her face brightens and she runs as fast as she can towards you.

“Y/n! Thank goodness you’re alive!” She has tears in her eyes as she looks at your legs, “What happened? Why are you hurt?” When you don’t say anything, her heart sinks and she nods for Jungkook to take you back inside.

He carries you on his back up the stairs, walking as carefully as he can to your room. Yuri opens the door for him, and he brings you straight to your bed. He sits on the side of the bed and lets you slide off his back. When he turns to look at you, you’ve already hidden yourself in the covers, nothing but a little bit of the top of your head showing. Jungkook frowns and kisses your head that is sticking out before he stands and walks over to Ga-In who was watching from the doorway. She walks in and ushers Jungkook out before moving to you and ever so gently taking your wet clothes off. She puts your dry giant t-shirt on you and lets you hide under the covers again as she leaves the room.

“What happened?” She whispers, and Jungkook motions for her to follow him. It physically pains him to leave you, but he doesn’t want you to be overwhelmed. Ga-In closes the door softly and they make their way downstairs to discuss everything that took place.

~ ~ ~

You stare blankly at the wall, the covers up to your chin. You blink a few times, numbness overriding your senses. You’re so exhausted that you just want to sleep. Sleep it all away. But when you close your eyes, all the images crowd into your mind and make you open your eyes again only if to make them disappear.

You start to shake uncontrollably, but no tears come. Just a white blank panic clouding your vision as the images start to appear in front of your face even with your eyes open. You can feel yourself wanting to cry but it won’t come.

Nothing will come.

No one will come.

You’re alone.

You’re alone and it’s going to happen again.

You’re silently screaming for help, but no one can hear you.

~ ~ ~

“We need to know what happened.” Yuri says desperately, wanting more than anything to figure out how to help you.

“Yes, but we can’t ask her right now.” Jin has his head in his hands as he sighs.

“Then what do we do?”

That question is met with silence. Jungkook is sitting on one side of the couch, his hands clenching and unclenching as he tries to breathe steadily and control his urge to go back to you.

“We need to wait for her to tell us herself.” Yoongi speaks up. Ever since he saw you, it seems like he’s been thinking about something, but he won’t say what it is when the others ask.

“What if we-“

Jimin’s suggestion gets cut off abruptly when a piercing scream from upstairs rings in all their ears. Jungkook is on his feet and racing towards the stairs in a split second, Ga-In hot on his heels. He runs up the stairs two at a time and down the hallway. You keep screaming and screaming, making it sound like someone is torturing you. Jungkook opens your door and runs over to where you’re curled up in a ball on the giant bed. Your eyes are pinched shut and tears are streaming down your face as you cover your ears and scream bloody murder.

Jungkook doesn’t try to say anything, he just climbs on the bed and wraps his arms around you. At first you flail around and try to get out of his grasp as you sob, but when you open your eyes and see who’s hugging you, you clutch onto him and sob louder.

“Jungkook, make it stop!” You scream and bury your face in his chest.

Jungkook feels the tears streaming down his face but he pays them no mind, he just holds you and rocks you back and forth, “I’m here, baby. I’m here.” He keeps repeating it even though you’re plugging your ears and can’t hear him.

Ga-In watches helplessly from the door, wringing her hands and not knowing what to do. Jungkook turns and looks at her, then motions for her to come to you. She hurries over and climbs onto the bed, scooting close to you and wrapping her arms around you so you’re encased in the arms of the two people you love most in the world.

The others are crowded around the door, not making a move to go inside, but having come up to make sure you were okay. Seokjin sees Yoongi’s expression and touches his shoulder. “What is it?” Yoongi sees you starting to calm down as Jungkook and Ga-In both whisper softly to you.

“I don’t know what caused it, but it’s what I was thinking. She’s having PTSD.”

Jin looks back at you, wondering what the hell happened last night to trigger this.

~ ~ ~

The others have made their way downstairs again, knowing there really isn’t anything that they can do.

Only Ga-In and Jungkook stay in your room, stroking your back as Jungkook holds you and taking turns whispering calming things to you. When you’ve calmed down enough, now just sniffling every once in a while, Ga-In says she’s going to go and get some food for you to eat so you’ll feel better.

Once she leaves, Jungkook pulls back enough to kiss your sweaty forehead, then he puts his chin on your head and keeps rocking you gently.

“You’re okay, little flower. I’ve got you. Nothing is going to happen to you anymore baby.” His soft voice soothes your nerves and he smiles when he hears you yawning.

“Sleepy, love?” He asks as he pulls back again, moving your sticky hair out of your face. You nod, your eyes half closed. “Do you want to get some sleep?”

You immediately shake your head and put your face back into his chest. Jungkook smiles sadly, “I’m not going anywhere, so don’t worry, y/n.” You nod and he continues to rock you gently.

Ga-In comes in with a sandwich and they manage to get you to eat almost half of it. Then Jungkook lays you down and lies next to you, letting you wrap yourself around him sleepily.

You don’t want to fall asleep.

You know the nightmares will come back the second you do, and you can’t handle it. Not another second of it.

But eventually, you’re so tired that you feel yourself slipping out of consciousness. You grip Jungkook’s hand anxiously and he kisses your forehead, murmuring softly. “You can sleep, love. I’m right here. I won’t leave you, I promise.”

When you’re finally sleeping soundly, Jungkook lets his tears fall. He holds you close to his chest and wishes with all his might that he could just take away all your fear and pain.

~ ~ ~

A few hours later, you peel your eyes open and see Jungkook sleeping next to you, his arms still encircling you protectively. You cuddle closer to him and he sleepily opens his eyes when he feels you moving.

“Bad dreams?” He whispers with his hoarse voice.

You shake your head and he smiles, “Good.”

You two lay there in silence for a minute, then Jungkook speaks up slowly. “I know you’re not feeling well, but is there anything you want to say so I can make it better?”

You look at him for a moment before nodding. “Do you want to tell me?” He asks, but he gets a head shake. “How about Jin hyung?” Another head shake, “Ga-In?” You nod and he sighs with relief. He lets you cuddle him for another few minutes before he calls your best friend. He agrees not to leave you until someone else comes in.

Ga-In opens the door so fast he has a feeling she’s been waiting out there for a while. She walks over and climbs onto the bed as Jungkook gets out of it. She lays next to you and hugs you tightly. Jungkook smiles at the pair of you before making his way out.

“What do you think happened?” Tae asks quietly as they both sit on Jungkook’s bed, waiting to be informed about everything. “I don’t know.” Jungkook says simply, making Tae sigh.

After a good hour, Ga-In opens your door and motions for Jungkook to come to her. When he gets close enough, he sees her eyes are rimmed with red, meaning she cried. She sniffles and clears her throat.

“She’s asleep again, but I don’t think we should leave her alone for long.”

Jungkook nods and invites her to come to his room so they will still be close to where you’re sleeping just in case.

Ga-In sits on his bed and wipes her eyes, Taehyung and Jungkook watching her anxiously. When she finally starts to speak, their horror grows.

“She ran into vampires last night. She said she followed Seungwook somewhere, I couldn’t hear a lot of why she went because she was mumbling. But they ended up at a vampire camp. She said they caught her when she was trying to find the way home. They decided to make the whole thing into a game and made her run so they could chase her and whoever got her could claim her.”

Taehyung releases a very angry but controlled breath through his nose, but Jungkook stays silent as Ga-In continues. “She ended up hiding in a bush and they never found her. But a little later in the night she overheard them saying the things they wanted to do to her. I’m not going to go into any details.” She swallows and pushes on. “She tried to sleep under the bush to wait for morning, that’s when it rained. She was freezing and her body must have gone into shock from the cold and fear. She said that’s when all her memories came back.”

Jungkook looks at her in confusion, “What memories? What do you mean?”

Your best friend wipes her eyes. “The night we were taken. I was separated from her, but I made it out quickly, with a bunch of other girls that ran to hide. Y/n could never remember what happened before she woke up next to Yuri. Last night, it all came back.” She closes her eyes and Tae takes her hand, squeezing it gently.

“They gathered them all into a room, then they started beating them and biting people. She said she remembers pain from someone hitting her and seeing people bleeding and hearing screams. She thought she had been bitten but they only barely scraped her wrist as they were rushing through them all. She didn’t understand anything that was happening.”

Jungkook feels his throat close up, remembering how he had found you right after you’d been through all that, and how he’d treated you. It makes him sick to think about. But Ga-In isn’t even done yet.

“The last thing that came back to her was the night those Hunters kidnapped her. They tied her up and they had her in a chair. When she didn’t give them the answers about everyone else that they wanted, they slapped her.”

Jungkook’s stomach lurches.

“Then they tried to rape her.” Ga-In’s voice shakes and the tears she was trying so hard to control, slip down her cheeks.

Jungkook’s blood boils as he remembers seeing the man kneeling in front of you. He hadn’t known what he was trying to do at the time, he just knew he hurt you. And you never told anyone. You kept it to yourself all this time.

Jungkook stalks out of the room and down the stairs, throwing the front door open and pounding down the porch steps. He doesn’t even flinch at the painful burning sensation when the sun touches his skin. He just marches over to a tree and throws a punch at it, screaming and splintering the bark as his fist makes contact. He punches it again, and again, and again. Until both of his knuckles are shredded and bleeding. Before the skin can start to heal itself, he punches the tree once more. His irises darken and he screams angrily before grabbing his hair and yanking on it.

He wasn’t there to protect you.

He hasn’t done enough to protect you.

And now you’re hurting, because he failed.

“Jungkook, Jungkook hey calm down.” Hoseok comes over to the youngest, having seen him run out of the house. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, but he can tell it isn’t good.

“G-get away from me, hyung.”

“Look, Jungkook. I know you’re angry, but why don’t you help me figure out how to help you?” Hoseok tries again, gently.

“You can’t help me! No one can. Not unless you can turn back time so I can stop it all.” Jungkook’s eyes water and he throws another punch at the tree, hating how fast the pain disappears from his hand when the pain inside of him is so much worse.

“Jungkook, tell me what hap-“

“Just get away from me before I do something I’ll regret!!” Jungkook screams angrily and stalks into the woods before Hoseok can even process what just happened.

Jungkook ends up in the clearing under the willow tree. He sits there numbly with the tree against his back after sobbing for at least half an hour straight.

“Kook?” He looks up to see Jimin standing there.

Jungkook just ignores him and looks straight ahead again, his face unreadable.

“Y/n’s awake.”

Jungkook twitches a little at that, but his face remains impassive. Jimin walks over and plops down on the ground next to him, then he leans against the tree.

“It isn’t your fault, Kook.” He says quietly, “You hadn’t even met her when she was first kidnapped by vampires, and you had no idea she left last night.”

So, someone had told him what you said.

“Yeah? And what about when the Hunters took her? What about that?” Jungkook snaps. Jimin sighs and looks at the youngest, seeing his face set in anger but his eyes glistening with tears. “We all went after her that time, and you saved her.”

“I didn’t save her.”

“What?” Jimin looks at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t get there in time for her not to be hurt, to be scarred. Now her own mind is what’s torturing her, because I couldn’t stop it in time.” Jungkook’s voice wavers.

Jimin shakes his head, “You saved her, Jungkook. If you hadn’t been there at that moment, things would’ve been a lot worse. She’s opened up about it now, so it’s off her chest. She doesn’t have to keep it hidden anymore.”

Jungkook listens quietly, the words sinking into his head as Jimin continues. “And she’s asking for you. She loves you Kook, more than I think you believe…so are you going to go to her?” He watches the young vampire closely.

Jungkook nods and wipes his eyes, then he stands up and Jimin smiles. Jungkook starts running back to the house as Jimin stands up, still smiling. “That’s my boy.”

~ ~ ~

You’re sitting on your bed trying to stomach some toast that Seokjin brought you, insisting that you needed to eat. All you can do is nibble on it, but Jin nods encouragingly no matter how small the bite.

“Where’s Jungkook?” You whisper quietly, chewing on a little bit of the toast. Jin is about to answer you when Jungkook steps into the room.

“I’m right here, love.” He says as he walks over to the big bed and sits on the side of it, close to you. “Hi.” He says sweetly and you nod at him, feeling comforted when he rubs your legs absentmindedly.

Jin smiles softly and announces that he’s leaving. You quietly thank him for the food, and he winks at you, “Jungkook is going to make sure you finish that. Right, Kook?” The vampire nods, but he doesn’t take his eyes off you.

Seokjin chuckles and leaves the room to talk to Yoongi about something that’s been bothering him.

Your cheeks turn pink as Jungkook watches you eat. “Why are you staring at me?” Your voice is so quiet he almost doesn’t hear you. He smiles and pats your knee, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. How are you feeling?”

“Better…it kind of feels like I just had a very bad dream.” You say before focusing on your toast. He nods and brings his hand up to pet your head sweetly. “Is this okay?” You nod and he smiles sadly. “Sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up.”

“It’s okay, you’re here now.” He’s about to respond when you speak up again. “I’m sorry that I’m so stupid.” Jungkook’s chest clenches at your words.

“You’re not stupid.”

“I am though.”

“You’re not.”

“I am-“

“Y/n.” His serious tone makes you stop fighting back. “You are not stupid, ok?”

You don’t say anything, you just keep eating your toast slowly. He feels a pang of guilt for raising his voice at you, so he reaches over and runs his thumb along your cheek gently. “I’m sorry, I just don’t like it when you talk about yourself like that. You’re constantly bringing yourself down, and I hate it. I just wish you could see what I see.”

You feel your eyes water and the toast feels stuck in your throat. When you finally swallow, you clear your throat. “There’s nothing good to see. All I do is break my promises to Jinnie, and make you think I don’t love you, and make everyone worry and come look for me when I was stupid and decided to leave without telling anyone. Everything that has happened to me was my fault, and I deserved it.” Jungkook feels his blood boil at your words.

“I don’t even blame the ones who hurt me. I practically set myself up to be hurt, it’s all my fault. I’m always causing problems and making others fix it. I’m just useless and I hate myself.” Your voice breaks and you set your almost finished piece of toast on the bed so you can bury your face in your hands.

If his heart was beating, it would have stopped at the words coming from your mouth. It would have shattered into a million pieces at the way you fully believe the words you’re speaking.

But all he can feel is a dull ache in the middle of his chest, making it hard to breathe as his hands shake and his throat closes.

Jungkook moves forward, taking your hands from your face and pushing you to lay down as he hovers over you.

Your eyes are flitting between his, trying to figure out what he’s doing. He just leans closer and touches his forehead to yours, his breath tickling your mouth. Then he nudges your nose with his before pecking it.

“I-”

He kisses your chin.

“-love-”

Kisses to your cheeks.

“-all of you-“

One on your forehead.

“-more than you will ever know.”

Lastly, he kisses your lips, deepening it as his hand comes up to caress your face. You close your eyes and just let him kiss you, feeling a warmth spread through your body down to the tips of your toes.

Jungkook pulls away after a moment, “I could say every little thing I love about you, but I don’t want you to just hear me…I want you to listen.” He catches your gaze and stares into your eyes deeply. Looking at his deep red eyes makes you think about when you first met him, and how those unnatural irises terrified you. Now, you can feel yourself getting lost in them and never wanting to come out.

“I’ll prove it to you, that I care about you and I’m not lying. I’ll show you, y/n.” You feel a small smile creeping up on you when he repeats your own words back to you with a cute smile. Jungkook takes your hand and folds it into his, “Nobody else’s hand could fit in mine perfectly the way yours does, and nobody else can make me smile like you do. You’re kind to everyone, and it always makes me happy to see you laugh, the way your nose scrunches up.”

You sniffle as he continues. “No one can hug me the way you do or kiss me like you do.” With those words, he kisses you again. “Nobody could ever make me feel the way you do, y/n. No one deserves to be treated the way you’ve been, and I want you to believe that. You’ve only ever made decisions to do things when you had other’s interests at heart, and I love you for that. Seeing you hurting because of them kills me, and I’ll do whatever I can to take it all away.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him to you, running your fingers through his hair to ground yourself. “I’ve got you, little one.” Jungkook whispers into your hair. You feel your eyes burn with tears as your emotions go into overdrive. Your heart aches with how much you love him, and the fact that he loves you just as much is so foreign to you, you don’t know what to do.

You wish everything would just be okay. You’re sick of being afraid all the time, and never being sure if you all are safe. It seems like all the horrors lurking in the shadows will never be gone.

~ ~ ~

A few days pass, and Jungkook diligently makes sure that you eat and get enough rest. You’re speaking normally soon enough, your brain having started to blur and block out all the images once again. It seems like your brain’s way of dealing with trauma is to pretend it didn’t happen.

A few days after you got back from the vampire incident, Seokjin sees you come down to the table at breakfast time.

“Hey! There’s my girl! How are you feeling, y/n?” He asks you brightly, to which you give him your old bright smile as you sit at the table. “I’m feeling okay, thanks Jinnie.” He chuckles and sets a plate of pancakes in front of you.

“I hope you’re hungry, I made a lot today.”

You stare at the pancakes, wide-eyed and starving. “I am! Thank you.” Jin giggles and goes back to the stove.

Suddenly, a pounding on the stairs is heard and someone bursts into the kitchen, making you and Jin flinch as you turn to see who it is.

Jungkook does a double take when he sees you sitting there, then he sighs in relief. “You scared me, I didn’t see you in your room.” You laugh and cover your mouth that has a bite of pancake in it. “Sorry, Kookie. I was starving.”

Seokjin bites back a smile and turns back to the pancakes he’s flipping.

Once everyone is gathered at the table and eating happily, Yoongi speaks up. “I hate being the bearer of bad news. But we have a problem that we still haven’t discussed.” Everyone turns to him, setting their forks down and chewing while they give him their full attention.

“What is it?” Seokjin is the first to ask.

“Y/n, you said there was a vampire camp.” Yoongi looks at you sympathetically, like he hates to bring it up again. Jungkook takes your hand under the table. “You said there were a lot of them in a small building. I hate to ask you for details, but when I heard you say they were about six and a half miles away from us…” His voice fades but everyone knows what he’s thinking.

They’re too close.

You clear your throat, “It’s okay. I’m sorry I haven’t told you the details yet.” Everyone shakes their heads and a chorus of protests saying that you did nothing wrong floats around the table. You swallow and dive right into it. “My old friend Seungwook is a Hunter. I went to talk with him because I had seen him hanging around close to the house. I wanted to explain everything to him so that he wouldn’t hurt you guys.” Jungkook squeezes your hand encouragingly.

“He didn’t listen, and when he walked away, I figured I could follow him back to where he was staying so I could tell you guys and we could make a plan. When I found out he was going somewhere else, I decided to go anyway and see what was up. There was a small building, but I heard one of his Hunter friends say that there were at least fifty vampires in there.”

The silence around the table after you say that makes your tummy clench in anxiety. Jungkook keeps a grip on your hand as Yoongi nods. “So, what do we do?” He asks Jin.

It’s almost like something has snapped in the eldest vampire. His eyes are hard with anger as he slams his fork down and pushes his chair back roughly, making it skid on the hard floor. He grabs his plate and all but throws it into the sink. His gaze is almost distant as he glares at the dishes.

“We’re going to fucking end this.”

____________________________________

a/n: damn. seokjin fecking snAPped 👀

tag list: @jjungkook99 @ditttiii @rubinora @mygukandonly @elliegrace1999tvd @karissassirak @krystle1990 @your-best-behaviour @lettersforjoon @hopeworld-baseline @squidyelmosquidbutt @howbizarre @nikikookie @adelina1299 @jeonjungkookismyfuture @fekitza @xxxanimangxxx

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revchainsaw · 4 years

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Ninja Assassin (2009)

I love the idea of applying horror movie logic to other kinds of things. We've had our fill of vampires and werewolves, don't get me started on zombies, but we fail to often imagine ourselves in the worlds of other genres, and comprehend just how frightening some things they present may be. In a world where highly trained killers can come out of any shadow and slaughter you without mercy, why should we limit that kind of play to only a martial arts film. Though many may disagree with the dear reverend here, I think Ninja Assassin is what happens when you apply horror movie rules to a martial arts film, and that's pretty neat! but does it do this well. Let's take a look.

The Message

Ninja Assassin is a 2009 action film that stars Korean pop star Rain as Raizo, a renegade ninja on the lamb from his vengeful and supernaturally deadly clan, the Ozunu. The Ozunu are also the target of a sharp and fearless interpol agent named Mika; as she is about to break the lid on an investigation regarding several unexplained high profile assassinations across the world. Through the events of the film the Ozunu ninja clan are agitated and become increasingly active. This over the top ninja action eventually brings Raizo and Mika together.

Mika and Raizo decide to combine her resources with his insider knowledge of the group to bring down the Ozunu clan once and for all. In a bad ass bloody spectacle all of the Interpol forces that Mika can muster are brought down by the ninja clan, and Raizo and Mika are brought face to face with Raizo's old mentor and father figure Lord Ozunu.

These events may seem rushed but actually the film intersperses them with flashbacks about the tortures and discipline Raizo went through as a ninja child growing up in this clan and being shaped into these insanely effective killing machines we have witnessed throughout the film. It also reveals how his spirit was never completely broken and bent to the will of the tribe, and his eventual rejection and escape from them.

Raizo does exact his revenge on the leader of the clan in the climactic battle, but in the melee Mika is supposedly fatally wounded. She is however spared due to a freakish medical condition that is foreshadowed earlier in the film: her heart is on the wrong side.

The Benediction

Best Sequence: They Fucked Up!

Without a doubt the scene that everyone thinks of when they think of Ninja Assassin is the sequence where Interpol attempts to commit a military style raid on the ninja clan and in turn they get absolutely fucking slaughtered. It's a pretty long sequence but you don't even really need to see the rest of the film to enjoy it. Just google Ninja Assassin Raid Scene and I'm sure you'll have a pretty good time just watching these Fed's getting fed their own asses. It's probably some of the best ninja action ever put to film.

Best Kill: Uneven Load

Somebody attempts to carry out an assassination attempt on our hero Raizo in a laundromat. Their head is later discovered when a thumping dryer starts to bleed. The dryer door is opened a a bloody head just tumbles out. It's pretty darn hilarious.

Worst Concept: Anatomy! My Only Weakness!

The heart on the right hand side thing is pretty stupid. For one thing the heart is slightly more on one side of your body but a direct shot to the chest is still pretty likely to kill you. It's a real condition called Dextrocardia but it was used as kind of a Deus ex Machina in this film, and the film makers seemed pretty proud of themselves for "foreshadowing" it in an earlier scene, and I use foreshadow very loosely.

Best Aspect: We Don't Think You're Dumb

Ninja Assassin attempts to do the Grindhouse thing that was very popular around this time, by taking a concept like Ninja Action Movie and playing up the gore and the extreme nature of the action as far as they can. I have to give the film makers props for playing the plot straight too, the bonkers grindhouse action of a movie can only be winked at so many times before it just becomes too stupid to care about. The characters can totally play the story straight and the audience doesn't need them to plant their tongues firmly in their cheeks for us to get that it's supposed to be absurd. So very good job Ninja Assassin.

Worst Effect: Look at all this ... Blood?

However, the movie would have benefitted greatly from an exorbitant amount of fake blood. buy gallons of the shit, throw it everywhere!!! please! I know it was cheaper to do the CGI blood but it looks bad and is way less fun, I want the practical effects version of this movie. I want actors slipping in the shit.

Best Effect: Shadowy Figure

A combination of CG and Camera Tricks was used frequently when our villains appeared on screen. The ninjas in this film had a power to jump in and out of shadows, to almost teleport using darkness, to watch the silhouettes of the assassins materialize from every dark corner and narrowly cast shadow was a pretty freaking sweet and unique little touch that added a lot to the menace the ninja clan represented.

Best Concept: Their Ninja Way!

As mentioned earlier the Ninja in Ninja Assassin are a lot less like a group of martial artists, or poor farmers rebelling against samurai warlords like in history. These Ninja are the way you thought about them when you were 7 years old. They are almost a category of mythical being, like a vampire or a Pegasus. They have their own distinct look, powers, and rules. I really wish we had gotten a sequel or a spin off of this. The way Ninja operate in this film is so damn American, and so damn fantastic. It's utterly absurd but that's just what the doctor ordered in a dumbed down action flick. I want to see more of these kinds of Ninja.

Summary

Ninja Assassin is a movie that sadly, you will not hear many people bring up. Everyone was talking about it for like a week after it came out and then it disappeared. That's not terribly hard to understand. Raizo is not a particularly distinct character, and in a world where Anime is so readily available to give audiences this kind of over the top ninja action, this hour or so long film really doesn't stand out. I sincerely believe if it had relied more on solid landing action choreography and practical effects for it's violence it would have had more of an impact on audiences. But it's as fleeting and material as a spray of computer generated blood, and that's a shame. I think we should petition to get Raizo put into the Mortal Kombat games, because that is exactly where he belongs. I predict that cult film status will eventually find it's way to this movie, once the kids who saw this when they were far to young, finally start making movies.

Overall Grade: C

#Ninja Assassin #2009 #2000s #00s #Ninja #Rain #Raizo #Martial arts #Grade C #Grade: C #C #(C)

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daelupyre · 3 years

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My first thought hearing Ziva David: OH MY GOSH. I MISS VAMPIRE ZIVA DAVID SO MUCH. Like so much that I've half thought of making a blog for JJ but straight up make her AU.

* screams in z*va fan girl tbh . . . * i miss writing z*va too , like she was my first character on here , someone i put a lot of time and love into but the nc*s fandom is all but lost here anymore , and the crime rp community isn't what it used to be but with that being said , i could pretty much throw her anywhere in slasher / killer horror genre as well as spn ; which my plan is to do a spn adaptive version where she leaves n*is shortly after somalia ( we don't talk about that though ouch ) to do some soul searching and then somehow ends up wrapped up in hunting , finding a new purpose and a way to channel her trauma into another avenue post subsequent self destructive behavior and self perpetuated isolation ; and still being able to help people while simultaneously utilizing her bad ass missed assassin skills . wow this ended up being more long winded than i intended xD / @naturesloopholed

#✓ : out / answered .#naturesloopholed

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jiminscalicokitten · 4 years

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What do you hope for? (Two shot)

Pairing: Hoseok X Reader

Genre: Vampire!au, College student!reader, Vampire!Hoseok, smut, slight!angst.

Summary: Dared to visit the abandoned house of the town by a bunch of idiots, you don’t know that a stupid wish of yours comes to be true in the worst yet best way possible.

Rating: 18+ (If the warnings trigger you please don’t read.)

Warnings: Virgin!reader, loss of virginity, mention of blood, fingering, spanking, dirty talk, name calling, spitting, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (stay safe kids), creampie, manhandling.

Word Count: 2.9k

Notes: I can honestly say that this is one-shot is probably my favorite of all that I’ve written in like ever. I would like to thank Hana for telling me about her preferences, I didn’t think I’d enjoy writing a Vampire!au to this extent. So I’m pretty grateful. 😊😊😊

UPDATE: So... a part two is coming. Thank you for all the support and the love this fic is receiving.

Part 1: Be Careful What You Wish For

The whole walk through this dark hallway you feel your heart is situated in the pit of your stomach. You don’t even know why you agreed to follow through with this stupid dare.

Oh, yeah! Your stupid best friend threatened to reveal your most embarrassing secret to the group. Is she even your friend? She dares you to face your worst fear and if you’re to refuse, she’d make you the laughing stock of the campus. Fuck this whole situation.

At the stupid sleepover that she dragged you to she dares you to pay a visit to the abandoned mansion at the end of town. You don’t even know why college kids your age even gather to a sleepover at their age like a bunch of middle-schoolers.

Walking in this empty hallway, you had your phone flashlight switched on so you could at least not trip as you wander around. You shine some light up to the wall you see old portraits that seem to be from centuries ago.

As a child you remember your grandma telling you about this mansion. It was in this town hundreds of years ago and no one dared to rebuild it let alone remove it.

Why wasn’t it a historical treasure used for tourism? Every person that set foot in this place were a part of three groups, they become insane, missing or found dead.

Remembering those details you feel your heart begin to race, probably faster than it should. God, you could’ve lived with the embarrassment. Why did you stupidly choose to listen to that toxic fucker? You are so done with her if you come out of this building alive.

Your steps slow as you begin to inhale the scent that came towards you from the farthest north. It’s of lavender. It relaxes your thumping heart. You know deep down that this is the end. Feeling one last pleasure before you die.

“Why couldn’t I lose my virginity before I came to this stupid house? God how much I want to lose it.” You mutter, remembering all the moments that you rejected guys attempting to bed you.

You weren’t a saint, you just wanted to find the right one as lame as that sounds. Thoughts of all the things you wish you did before dying comes rushing to you. As you feel your heart-rate picking up again, the scent of lavender becomes stronger.

Instead of thinking like an idiot you choose logic. You start walking the opposite direction of the scent. The desire to live takes over your body. It’s stronger than the stupidity of relaxing at this moment. Feet picking up their pace you hear a growl behind you.

When your hand reaches for the door knob you hear a screeching sound, it isn’t near you. Turning the doorknob to the side you expect to see the yard in front of you. Well, that’s an expectation, you come to realize why the people that made it out were considered insane.

It’s a staircase that leads to a basement. It isn’t the yard… the house shifted. When you turn back you see that the hallway is way shorter with no other way to go just this door in front of you. Not wanting to lose sanity you just choose the only other option, you sit on the ground by the door after shutting.

You refuse to move. You refuse to walk into your death. You switch off the flashlight and wait. Closing your eyes trying to sleep through this rough quality horror movie that you’re experiencing, you are not going to go straight to death.

You’ll try to elongate the time you have. Maybe the door will return to the way it was after you wake up. Resting your head on the doorframe you try to persuade yourself to fall asleep.

The sun, you thought it would be up when you wake up but it isn’t. Checking your phone for the time you see that’s nine in the morning. There is no window, probably why it’s currently dark in the short hallway.

You lift your head to stare at the ceiling for a second, startling you a few wall lanterns fire up allowing you to have a better view of your surroundings. There’s a table at the end of the hallway that you haven’t seen before. Moving towards it warrily, you don’t smell anymore lavender.

On the table a plate is visible, it has a piece of toast and a cup of orange juice next to it, with an envelope closed with wax. You pick up the piece of toast sniffing it for any weird smells.

When you confirm it’s not poisoned at least you assume, you take a bite. It’s probably the best piece of toast that you’ve ever had. After taking a sip of the orange juice you pick up the small envelope. It smells of citrus.

Carefully opening it you see a small piece of paper in it. The letters on it are intricate, almost too pretty to be seen by you.

‘I apologize for scaring you. Miss Y/N you’re different from all the people of your kind. You are cautious and mindful of your surroundings, it makes you dear to me. I thought of hurting you but that all changed. I promise you that I will let you go if you talk to me for a while. I also will try my best to grant your wish of yesterday. I will wait for you at the bottom of the staircase. Love, J.’

Should you believe whoever this J is or should you just keep waiting by the door? Fuck it, your going to waste your life waiting. You either die or he let’s you go and at this point you don’t really care for either.

As your walk down the stairs lanterns light the way for you not to trip. Hands twisting the doorknob open, you peer into the room, just to check if it’s safe to enter. Realizing how stupid that sounds you move into the dark room.

A small white light reflects against the side of his face. He stands by the same table that was at the end of the hallway above the staircase. He’s ethereal. This man doesn’t look older than twenty-five. His facial expression tells you nothing of what he might feel nor think.

You feel a strange urge to pursue this man. Your feet take you to where he’s standing and you speak the first thing that came to your mind. You know exactly what his situation is. “How long were you locked in here for? Mister Hoseok” You glance at his name that was calligraphed at the bottom of his portrait.

“Why would you assume such a thing?” His gaze softens. “I don’t know who you do that voodoo magic stuff, you know flipping the house around and all, but why would you try to seduce me here if you can just come up those stairs and drag me back?” You mutter as you grasp his cold hand.

He pulls you into his chest. “I didn’t think you would be perceptive to that extent, my dear Y/N.” His arms wrap gently around your back. He’s nose buries into the side of your neck as he inhales your scent.

“I can keep you company. If you need a friend that is.” You smile. “Oh, dear. You don’t realize that I’m not capable of having friends.” He lets you go sorrow feeling his eyes. “What do you mean? I can be your friend, it's also my choice.” You glance from his eyes to his lips.

“You know that not many came back after coming into this mansion.” His eyes harden. “So? What does that have to do with us being friends? I am not judging you.” You attempt to grasp his hand.

“Well, the people that I let go were allowed to leave because they became incoherent as for the others they died as my supper.” His fangs grow causing you to step back. “See… you’re scared.” He snorts in disbelief. Disbelief in himself, why did he think you’d be any different?

“Are you trying to test me?” You mutter stepping forward. “Are you that doubtful of yourself? That someone would want to be by your side? Do you really think that you don’t deserve company?” You ask, he can visibly see that you're trying your hardest to hide your shaking hand.

You are clearly scared and he knows it, but why are you trying so hard? “I have killed thousands for hundreds of years. Why do you think I would deserve kindness from someone like you?” He growls grabbing your neck.

“Because you’re not evil.” Fear finally leaves you. “Are you sure about that?” He pushes you against his bed ripping your shirt off of your chest. “How about I grant you the wish of losing your virginity before you die?” He chuckles as his lips latch on your right nipple.

You feel yourself become wet in between your legs, a moan escapes your lips. “Are you scared now?” He pulls away to start sucking against your collar bone. His hands reach for your pants ripping them down your legs.

You’re supposed to be scared… you should be. It’s simply the scent of citrus that is emitted from his skin that calms your heart. You’re supposed to hate this to hate him… you just can’t bring yourself to feel that way.

“I want you.” You mutter almost mocking his attempts to terrify you. his hand moves from your breast to slide his fingers along your lower lips and you gasp a kiss into his lips. “I’ll make sure you don’t enjoy this.” He says while continuing to rub you teasingly.

He teases your folds a few more times before concentrating on your clit, rubbing it in rough, torturous circles. His lips move down your jaw to your throat, leaving hot open mouth kisses. “Hoseok fuck me- please I want you to.” He growls at you.

The combination of everything has you turned into a panting, moaning mess and you struggle to keep some logic in your brain. You slide your hand down his chest, curling your fingers around the bulge in his trousers.

Surprised to discover how hard he was, he hisses against your neck before biting down on the skin, causing you to cry out in slight pain. Blood smears against his lips. Not being able to contain himself he begins to suck the blood out of you.

After a while the ache in your neck subsides and you begin feeling pleasure. He runs his tongue soothingly over the now sensitive spot causing you to shiver against the top of his head.

Lifting his head into your palm you give him a kiss. “Make me cum- I want you buried deep inside me- I don’t want to walk for days.” You growl against his lips.

“You’re so filthy. You want to be used that badly by me- I guess a virgin like yourself would enjoy getting fucked raw.” He smirks against you causing a groan to escape you.

He sits up, gazing into your eye and the dark predatory look on his face causes your insides to become tense. “You’re not allowed to touch me until I’m finished with you, do you understand? If you do, I’ll have to discipline you.” He pushes your hand away from his body.

Nodding too shocked and breathless to speak back. He gazes at your face as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you and he groans, “Are you going to be a good little slut for me? Damn, you’re already so wet.”

He slides his middle finger all the way into your hole, curling it upwards hitting just the right spot inside of you, causing you to moan. He continues to hit that sweet spot over and over again, using his palm to add friction and pressure to your clit.

He picks up speed and your thighs begin to twitch, the stiffness in your stomach building almost unbearably. You didn’t know what to hold on to, your fingers digging into his back, “Oh- Hoseok I’m- I’m so close.” He pushes your hand away.

“Didn’t I tell you not to touch me?” He flips you on your front. His hand lands a hit against your asscheeks. “Count.” He demands. “One-” You groan after the second hit.

A few moments pass as he continues to spank your ass “Ten-” He finally stops. He grasps both of your reddened flesh pulling them apart roughly. He spits against your hole earning a whimper from you.

You feel his spit slowly sliding against your pussy. Without warning his whole cock enters you. You groan as you feel the burn against your insides intensify. He doesn’t seem to care, as he pulls out and rams himself in you once more.

You whine in response, feeling the heat begin to build once more in your lower abdomen as his hips began to snap faster into you.

His face presses into the back of your neck, biting down hard enough to nick the skin at the joint between your neck and shoulder before sucking restlessly on the sensitive area, the blood escaping your body’s making you feel lightheaded.

“You like that slut?” He growls into your ear, changing the position of his hips so that his thrusts are sharper and forceful.

Each snap of his hips drags a kind of guttural sound from your throat whether you want it or not. You feel yourself growing closer to your second orgasm with each thrust and you pressed your face into the pillow beneath you.

You squeeze your eyes shut, throwing your head back as you reach your orgasm. Your cries are muffled by the pillow as he pushes your head against it “Fuck- your pussy is made for me slut. Do you like that?” He growls.

The speed of his thrusts increase and little grunts are slipping through his lips causing overstimulation to burn. You can tell that he’s close, his eyes close and brows furrow in strain. “Cum for me Hoseok, I want you to cum inside me- fill me up to the brim.” His eyes open in surprise to the sound of your voice, letting out a long groan as his hips stutter to a stop as he finds his own orgasm.

His cum fills you up, feeling your insides expand to hold his wetness, you release a scream as tears begin to roll against your cheeks. He pulls out of you abruptly, flipping you to face him roughly.

His hand slides down your chest to your stomach to your pussy. Three of his fingers are roughly pushed into your already filled cunt. His other hand finds itself on your clit. “What- are you doing?” You moan.

His fingers begin snapping inside you earning a guttural scream, you start writhing under his touch. His fingers are rough against your clit. You feel your third orgasm approach and it happens. You squirt on his face. He stops immediately.

He drags his fingers against your lips and shoves them into your mouth wordlessly. You say nothing but suck against his long digits.

He gets up to clean himself in the bathroom. You try to get up but the ache in between your legs is preventing you from doing so. He comes back with a towel and a bowl of warm water.

His hands are gentle against the inside of your thighs, his rubbing slowly climbs to your hole, it feels so intimate. That he’s wiping you that he’s willing to do this for you. “You know, I still want to be by your side.” You smile at him.

“Well, you can’t. I can’t have you here.” Sorrow laces his words. “Well, I’ll simply stay here. Surely you can’t drag me out of here.” You giggle pulling him into you. You place a gentle kiss against his lips.

He smiles at you. His hand wraps around your body, encasing you. You slowly feel yourself lulling into sleep.

Opening your eyes, you feel tears gathering in your eyes. Your body's laying outside the mansion with a warm blanket wrapping around you. You hear your friends screaming your name from a distance.

You lift yourself off the ground immediately as sobs escape you. You try to turn the doorknob but it doesn’t budge. “Please don’t do this!” Your cries get louder. You feel your friend’s hand wrap around your shoulder to support you from falling. “Hoseok! Please don’t push me away!” You collapse after knocking against the door aggressively.

“You were gone for a few days! Where were you?!” She yells at you. “It’s all your fault. I wished to leave here alive and I regret it!” You scream at her. “Leave me alone!” You shout, pushing her arm off of you.

“Please! Please… Don’t do this.” You feel yourself collapse.

The lights around you are bright, the hospital bed feels way less comfortable than Hoseok’s bed. Tears gather in your eyes recalling the way his smile appeared on his gentle face.

Your family and friends are surrounding your bed with worry lacing their faces. You could care less about their worries, sobs begin to fill the room causing your mother to begin crying with you. She feels her heart ripping at your state.

All that you regret at this moment is the fact that you weren’t careful when you wished to leave that mansion, you didn’t expect to meet your first love in it.

You ponder what the possibilities are, if you didn’t make that stupid wish…

Part 2: A Wish Granted in a miracle

83 notes · View notes

alilbihh · 5 years

Text

hocus pocus — 2

masterlist previous part next part

pairing: maknae line x reader

summary: jungkook wags his tail and his eyes look like truffles. jimin drinks blood out of juice boxes and bendy straws and tries to wink but ends up blinking both his eyes closed. taehyung likes the ocean and all kinds of art and apologizes to rocks. you don’t know if they want to take you out the date way or the assassination way and somehow you think it’s both.

genre: werewolf!jungkook, vampire!jimin, hybrid!taehyung, witch!reader; humor (??); poly!au (in the future!)

words: 7.2k

You don't really know how you got roped into this.

Maybe you hadn't. Maybe Namjoon drank a luck potion that day and managed to get through to you. Maybe he used one of his manipulative tactics on you that he seems to do to all his customers. ("Or maybe you're soft," you hear Namjoon say. You smack him upside the head).

But it's not all bad. His shop smells like sage and rosemary and butter cookies and something soft all around, so that the edges are safe enough to press against. You wonder if your own store smells this homey to other people.

The whole store is like a library. The walls can barely even be considered walls anymore, stacked from top to bottom with books - most with cracked spines, well-worn pages and a musty smell that spoke of ages long past. No low hanging vines or roses gossiping to the nearby hydrangeas and no Jungkook trotting around in oversized clothes.

There's none of that, but when you close your eyes you can almost feel a gentle breeze, the muted buzz of cicadas, a bird fluttering somewhere overhead, as if you hadn't stepped inside a building at all. Namjoon's store is a different kind of gentle. Like something wise hangs in the air, just out of reach.

There are random items scattered about, and you remember what Namjoon once told you. How his store is dedicated to the lost. Objects that they value most are scattered about neatly. There's an assortment of jewelry and photos and family heirlooms and paintings. You smile lightly at the wedding rings and grimace at the less than decent items. (There are more dildos than one would think).

Sometimes people wander inside without remembering what inclined them to do so, drawn to items they don't remember they'd lost and items they'd been searching their whole lives for. Objects appear without warning, waiting to be found by the lost. It's how Namjoon met Seokjin. It's how the two met the ginger cat that walked in one day and has been here so long Namjoon even named him.

("I say we call him Ginger." You'd suggested, your cheek pressed to their horribly uncomfortable couch, and you immediately feel claws digging into your back.

"The cat hates it," Seokjin says, popping a cheeto into his mouth with conviction.

Namjoon nods solemnly, "It is kind of a terrible name," he admits.

"OH!" You say with mock surprise, twisting your head like they do in those terrible horror movies just to glare at Namjoon. "What an interesting opinion, soundcloud user Runch Randa."

Seokjin cackles and the cat makes a strange choking sound, almost like it's laughing too. Namjoon's ears flush red.

The weight momentarily disappears from your back, only to reappear seconds later. "Oh, yep, that's a male alright."

"Jin-hyung!" Namjoon yelps, horrified, "You can't just- just do that without asking!"

"Joon, babe, it's a cat. I'll say please next time, okay?")

It was then decided that his name would be Kimbap. He's grown a bit chubbier than before, and you wonder what Seokjin has been feeding him for that to happen so quickly.

The silence reminds you of why you're here in the first place. ("I'm being used."

"NO you are NOT! Just- think of it as a favor to your old pal Namjoon."

"You're insufferable.")

You've mostly been idling around the counter so far, only helping the middle aged lady that had walked in a few hours back. She'd been drawn to a pair of old baby shoes. "I tried selling them once. My husband didn't let me." She smiled lightly, the shoes small and snug and delicate as they sat in the palm of her hands. "They've never been worn, after all."

She walked out without another word, and for a moment too long you wondered how brave Namjoon must be to hear these stories every day.

"Hello?" A tiny voice whispers, a lilting tone of wonder. You search around and spot the tip of a head by the edge of the counter, wild strands sticking out every which way. Leaning forward reveals a little girl just barely shorter than the counter, chubby cheeks and all as she makes grabby hands at you. "Are you a witch?" She asks with stars in her eyes.

"Why, yes I am!" You grin, and in a blink and a snap of your fingers the lights overhead turn off, the candles' flames flickering alight one by one. She stares on in wonder, mouth agape.

It's then you're reminded of your true reason of being here.

"Would you like your future told?"

To lie to children, that is.

You have no idea how to work this thing.

The crystal ball is perched on some sort of decorative table centerpiece that Namjoon likely found on Walmart, and if the crystal ball itself has any magical properties you certainly don't know how to make use of them. It's colored a charming, rustic gold that you're not sure whether is spray painted or natural but it's pretty all the same.

Nevertheless, making up people's futures has been fun. The cheery little werewolf girl is too energetic and will likely hurt herself in the near future if she's too careless. The human with the pigtails will find love soon in the most unconventional of places. The bratty fox hybrid boy that kicked your shin is straight up going to end up in jail (but will find someone to help him through his struggles, you added just for his parents not to potentially sue you).

Namjoon walks in at some point just as you're done performing a magic trick on a wide eyed boy that's no older than nine, the highest form of magic you can perform, most likely. He leaves with a skip in his step, little daisy tucked into his shirt pocket. Purity and innocence.

The real store owner watches the little boy leave softly before turning towards you with a raised brow.

"Namjoon, my man! Are you finally here to save me?" You cheer, clasping your hands together. The traitor in question pats your head softly, and you instantly deflate.

"Not yet, Y/n-ah, just here to get something." He says with his back turned to you, climbing the ladder on the wall in search of a book, much like Belle does in Beauty and the Beast. Namjoon is both the beauty and the beast, in this case. Your instincts tell you to run while his back is turned, but something tells you that you won't get too far before someone inevitably finds and snitches on you because you're surrounded by traitors.

"You came all this way to get a book?" You ask, stupefied.

"Spell book. I gotta be quick though, Jin-hyung says that I'm on bathroom cleaning duty if I don't hurry up."

You laugh at that, "You know he'll just find a way to make you clean the bathroom anyway, right?"

"Yeah. I hate him. He's the devil."

"He's your boyfriend."

He sighs, a fond thing. "Yeah." And that's that.

Kimbap climbs onto the counter with ease, despite how chunky he's gotten. You pat him solemnly as you glare at Namjoon with all your might.

"Mind telling me what you're doing that's important enough to have me be here, lying to innocent children?" You quip, looking away from your glaring to coo at Kimbap nuzzling into your hand.

"You're actually quite good at reading people. The ball does look like you don't know how to use it, though," he says as he pulls out a book that's so thick it's more of a dictionary than anything. "The ball is sad." He adds.

"The ball doesn't have feelings."

"It doesn't," Namjoon agrees as he slides down the ladder, and for a second you worry for his safety as his knees wobble when he reaches the ground, book safely in hand. "It's not the ball that has magic. It's the air that does. Everything that does. The world is magical, holds more magic than you'd think, you just have to be the one to look for it. The ball is more of a handy tool." He grins and for a second he looks too wise. Too grown. Something about his tone makes you feel like he knows more than he's letting on. It makes you feel small.

"You wanna take a peek into my future, then?" You ask, and you're answered by a pair of knee-deep dimples.

"Can't. Tried once, unintentionally. The memories are all fuzzy." He looks a bit too happy as he says it. A little too fond.

"What does that mean?"

He pats your head again as he leaves, answers over his shoulder, "It means I'm in your future." The muted buzz of cicadas and fluttering of birds and the gentle breeze are ever so present as Namjoon opens the glass doors, steps into the outside. "Your future is awfully warm, though," he adds right before leaving, right before he trips over the doorstep and nearly falls face first into the concrete. He rights himself, stepping out calmly as if it never happened. You're too bewildered to laugh.

"I think it was destiny? Like, it wasn't my lack of housing options that brought us together. I think Y/n's, like, my soul-roommate."

Bright robes rustle as Seokjin props his elbow on the counter, resting his chin on his hand with a sigh. Jungkook flinches when the older male's too-large wings skim at the edge of a nearby bookshelf, and it rocks back and forth for a second too long before regaining its balance. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Jungkook takes a good look at his very much angelic friend, the man in question squinting his eyes suspiciously at him.

"So you mean your soulmate?" He says, voice flat, eyes narrowed.

"No, hyung," Jungkook exasperates, "My soul-roommate. As in, I wanna be her roommate forever."

Seokjin squints. Downs his glass of water as if it were vodka.

Now, Seokjin could tell it like it is right now and rid Jungkook of his stress like wringing out a washcloth, fast and easy and with little repercussions. But Seokjin will not. Seokjin will let this drag on until the man figures out what do himself.

This isn't the kind of decision he can make, anyway. "Alright. That's nice, Jungkook-ah."

"Yeah! Yeah. It is." Jungkook picks up a broom Seokjin's wings had knocked over, apologizes quietly to it before placing it back against the wall.

The angel drums his hands on the wooden counter, looking up in thought. "And what about that Jimin fellow?"

Jungkook trips over his own feet on his way to the tray of crystals, and the older laughs almost maniacally at him. "What about him?" Jungkook slurs.

"Nothing, nothing, I've seen enough." He says with a laugh, wings fluttering in delight with a mind of their own.

Jungkook huffs indignantly, reaches for a nearby crystal colored a soft purple, begins polishing it aggressively with his apron. It warms in his palm, like it's been resting near a fire.

"Who's that?" Jungkook's ears perk at Jin's soft exclamation, and he looks out the window curiously.

There's a deer hybrid by the door.

The buck looks through the glass with an almost childlike curiosity, eyes lighting up like a fire. Something inclines him to walk in like it does with every customer, so he does; bending a bit so his antlers fit through the door frame, and Jungkook can't help but consider the gesture to be the most adorable thing.

The boy's sneakers squick, squeak, squish as he steps further into the building, marveling at the tiny expanse of the shop Jungkook considers his home. A lone bulb hangs by the shelves of poetry, its glow muted until the boy steps in to read some of the spine titles. Jungkook can't help but feel like the room has gotten a tad bit warmer, a tad bit brighter.

The werewolf watches the hybrid pad towards the tray of crystals. Some of them are raw and jagged and the size of his palm; others are smooth and fitting enough to be made into a necklace, maybe even a pair of earrings. The boy reaches for a purple one buffed into an oval, marvels at it before pressing it to his chest.

"Do you like purple?" Jungkook asks once he gets close, laughs as the boy jumps. He continues, "Amethyst. It's pretty. It cleanses one's energy field of negative influences and is known to relieve stress and dispel anger, fear, and anxiety. Also alleviates sadness."

The hybrid stares at him. The hybrid stares at him because there's a werewolf talking about energy as if it's a tangible thing and telling him rocks have magical properties. "Rocks can't do that."

"Hey!" Jungkook yelps, grabs at a nearby rock, holds it close to his chest, "You can't call them rocks. They're crystals, crystals."

"Oh." the buck blinks once, twice. He stares at the not-rock in his hand. Pats it a little bit. "Sorry."

"s'okay."

The boy looks small tucked into his jacket like that, and Jungkook watches as he fiddles with the zipper a bit, holds it between his fingers. "You work here?" The boy asks as softly as a voice can get, walking past a lamp that warms to life beside him.

"Yeah- yeah! I do. Work here, that is." Jungkook replies, just as soft, working at a loose thread on the hem of his shirt. The boy's gaze is so so warm. Something urges Jungkook to shift his gaze to the ground and the other can't look away.

Jungkook laughs lightly as the boy sneezes suddenly, sniffles and rubs at his nose. "Is it the smell? It's quite a lot, isn't it? It messed with me in the beginning, too." He adds, tone a little too fond.

"Ah, yeah, I guess. Smells strong here, but, like. Nice." The boy says, steps in close to a vase filled with orchids and lilies and peonies and gardenias; femininity, purity, love, trust. He feels as a leaf curls around his outstretched finger like it's inviting him closer, welcoming him home. And he laughs, softly, like he can hear the flowers' hushed whispers.

"What do you think flowers talk about?" He mutters, and Jungkook almost flusters at the low rasp of his voice. Daegu, it comes to the werewolf all at once. Daegu boy. Jungkook's struck with the thought that he's never been to Daegu but it kinda already feels like home.

"Uh. I don't know. I've done some embarrassing things in front of them, so. Probably that."

The other laughs, movements syrupy slow as he stands up straight, antlers towering over the werewolf's form. Jungkook kinda wants to touch it. Kinda wants to touch all of him. Kinda wants to drown himself in the other's voice, the rough low of it, kinda wants to get his lips sticky with it. "Looks like they like you, though," he adds.

"I guess I'm just too charming, huh?" The boy says and then does something incredible. Something so mind boggling and out of place and so so endearing it has Jungkook's heart do something uncertain in his chest; an inverted beat, everything backwards, all the blood pumping the wrong way.

The boy winks.

Oh no.

Jungkook makes a weird noise from the back of his throat and he guesses there's something on his face because in just a second the boy laughs, laughs so hard it's like his heart is trying to crawl its way out his chest, like it's too big for him to hold on his own. It's beautiful. Jungkook wants to live in that sound, listen to it for hours on repeat like a broken radio.

It seems that's when the magic breaks because the boy remembers he's here to do business and takes notice of the weight in his hand, looks down at the crystal in his palm. "How much is this?"

Jungkook blinks. "Oh. I don't know. Y/n's responsible for that kinda stuff." He suddenly smiles, cheekily adding, "guess it's free!"

A laugh tumbles out the boys' lips, big and unreserved. Jungkook thinks he's just like that. Open and honest, easily able to light up a room with just a smile. "I can't just take it for free," he says as he places it back on the tray where he'd taken it.

"Sure you can! I'm encouraging it!"

The boy shakes his head, gaze flickering back to the crystal on the tray. He remembers how warm it felt on his palm, fitting like it belonged.

"Can crystals really heal you?" He asks, looking at the werewolf from beneath his lashes. He continues and the words don't feel like they're his, like someone's plucking them from out of him, "It just. Doesn't make sense. For it to be that easy, I mean."

Jungkook smiles and it melts the boy down to his bones. The younger boy picks up the crystal, tap tap taps at it like it'll give him the answers he needs. Offers it with an outstretched hand and a knowing smile. "They can heal you if you believe they can." Jungkook rolls his eyes with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, "Just take it, you nerd."

Daegu boy bites his lips cherry red. "Yeah. Yeah, okay," Taehyung's so close Jungkook can see flecks of gold in his eyes, like leftover traces of the sun. He takes the crystal. And then in a blink he's gone, hands in his pockets as he trudges back out the way he came, "I'm Taehyung, by the way!"

"I'm Jungkook!" A goofy smile and a silly wave. The boy waves back. Ends up hitting his antlers on the doorway, backtracks with his head clutched in hands, and Jungkook openly laughs.

The boy leaves and the werewolf is struck with the thought that maybe he falls in love way too easily.

Something about today feels slightly off and you have no idea what it is.

Maybe it's just the lumpiness of the bed. Not the actual bed, just the jacket Jungkook had left laying around that's currently digging into your back as you lay lifelessly on your bed. You think you're having a crisis, a midlife crisis at the peak of your adulthood. And that's cool. That's fine. Totally normal and not at all disconcerting.

You feel a shadow tower over your body, and you peel open an eye to spot the very familiar that's causing your back such anguish, his brow cocked with purpose. "Why do you look like that?"

"huh?" you hum, and you think you're blinking but it's like someone is doing it for you, like you're drifting in and out of consciousness. "Look like what?"

He snorts like the answer is obvious, and it probably is. "Like someone just told you your ass is flat."

"That is rude and I am offended." You say without a hint of anger in your voice, and you briefly think of how that's probably your normal tone with Jungkook. Kinda soft and kinda playful and a fondness hidden just under your tongue, trying to wriggle its way out.

Jungkook says something akin to noona, do you want me to tie your hair for you? and noona, are you going to hyung's party? and noona, did you brush your teeth today? all at once, and at first you're mildly offended at the last one before you swipe your tongue over the front of your teeth and realize you haven't.

Then his words somewhat catch up to you and your brows furrow in question, "What party?"

"Ah. Namjoon-hyung's and Seokjin-hyung's. Something about an anniversary of theirs, but it's been less than a year? So I don't really know what they're celebrating? I think it's a pre-one-year-anniversary-party. Which is stupid because why don't they just celebrate it when it's actually been a year? I don't know. It's kinda wild."

You laugh at that, sitting up groggily and it's then that your familiar releases a little shriek, "Yikes! Do you want me to hire an exorcist? I think there's, like, three of them just around the block, I can run and get them for you!"

Your feet pad over the somewhat cold floor, and you slap the man's chest as you pass him by, his laughter following you on your way to the bathroom, and you can hear his tail bumping wildly against the wall as it wags carelessly.

At some point while you're brushing your teeth Jungkook pads lightly beside you, joining you with a toothbrush of his own. You're both staring at each other from your reflections in the mirror and you try to give him a smile but it results in toothpaste dribbling down your chin and Jungkook laughs so hard he spits a bit on the mirror.

Some odd sense of peace engulfs you then and it feels oddly dreamy, like an early morning breeze. Jungkook opens the windows to let some fresh air in while he makes sleepy sounds and you just kind of sit there, looking but not seeing, thinking of nothing and everything.

It's an early friday and the shop won't open for another two days so you have nothing to do but you feel like you do. You think it's the stress getting to you but you're not sure if that's it. You wonder if maybe Namjoon's psychic powers are contagious and your third eye has opened without your knowledge.

You watch as Jungkook pads over to your shared kitchen; the one that doesn't have your cauldron and your stove and your potions like the one just downstairs by the shop does. In fact, this one doesn't have a stove at all. Sometimes Jungkook walks all the way down to the other kitchen just to make proper food because it's not like you have the money to buy another stove, anyway. ("Jungkook we don't have a stove how are you going to make chicken nuggets?"

"But I have a lighter and determination."

"This is a bad idea and you're going to regret it.")

(He regretted it.)

Actually, you're not quite sure when Jungkook started living here. You can barely even remember how it was before Jungkook, when it was just you living alone in the apartment right above your dainty little shop, and now you can't imagine waking up without his sleepy sounds and your playful banter. It feels surreal. You wonder if it will last. You want to wish that it will, but you wonder if it's selfish.

You come to at the tragic sight of the familiar in question aggressively pouring cereal into his bowl, the milk already inside splashing around in waves. You sigh and stand up, the couch beneath you squeaking in protest.

Jungkook smiles as you come to a stop beside him. "G'morning," he says so so softly, like it's the first time he sees you- pretty little grin, pretty little curve to his lips.

"hi." you say, just as soft. This is nice. Everything is nice and smells and feels like Jungkook; solid. Safe. A comfort.

"You wanna watch Your Name?" he asks suddenly into the open air, and you laugh quietly at his determined eyes.

"That's like your de-stressing mechanism."

"Hey, it's valid."

And so it's a quiet friday morning. Jungkook has Kiki's Delivery Service queued and he's hoping there will be time to watch Ponyo like he's wanted to for so long and the afternoon will pass by like that, the two of you sitting around and watching movies and nature documentaries and tossing popcorn kernels at each other- sometimes with purpose, other times without.

Jungkook speaks up somewhere between shrimps being able to see colors we don't even know exist and lizards literally shooting blood out their eyes, and you turn away from the nature documentary to face him, "So are you going to that party? Jin-hyung said there'll be cake and mario kart and many people and stuff." He says before stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

You blink for a few seconds in thought because yes yes yes but no no no. Yes because you love your friends and you love being able to see them happy and you love seeing Namjoon lose to Jin at mario kart for the umpteenth time. But no because the last time you met a new person you almost fell in love with them so no, you will not be meeting anyone new for a while.

(Well, maybe not necessarily in love, you tell yourself. That seems excessive. More like a maybe-love. More like a I could love you, if you let me).

"I'll think about it," you lie through your teeth, and the werewolf pretends to be convinced as he flashes you a little smile that's knowing in a way that makes you feel a bit small.

"Okay," he says, shrugs, turns back to the TV that's now saying something about dolphins being insomniacs but you're too caught up in your familiar's nonchalance to pay any attention to it.

The couch is a lumpy disaster. A huge mistake. Possibly the biggest one of your life. You kinda wish couches had never been born as you try for the fifth time to adjust your legs only to fail miserably, settling for fiddling with your glass.

This is downright blasphemy. Outrageous. You don't know how you got here or what's happening, but Jungkook disappeared somewhere in the crowd and Jin is, as expected, beating some poor person's ass at mario kart, and Hoseok and Yoongi are getting a bit too intimate by the sugar cookie icing, and you think the punch you're drinking has more alcohol than you were accounting for.

You think you should chew the gummy worms that are mixed into the punch better because there are more than a few instances in which you forget they're in there and end up choking on them. But it's fine because the home you're in smells like scorched firewood and maple syrup and Kimbap is sitting beside you on the couch, dressed very politely and with a little bow tie tied to his collar.

You'd tried to get up once, tried to face the crowd. Tried to face Jungkook's admittedly inevitable betrayal. There were plenty of faces you recognized, some you didn't, and at some point you were trying to push through the people cheering for Seokjin when your hand brushed over someone's chest; pecs. Pecs means Jungkook.

He took one look at your face and quite literally dived and disappeared into the crowd to avoid your glare, and you pretend he's escaped your grasp even when you see his bumbling form run into the kitchen three seconds later.

So here you are, back on the lumpy, overused couch of the infamous fiends that are Namjoon and Seokjin, petting their cat. Kimbap is a funny fellow. Always with his head held high, confident as he strides from one corner to the next and paws at your ankles for attention. You strive to be Kimbap.

"You have a good life," you say to the cat, petting lazily at his head. "Eat, sleep, some adventure, more sleeping, definitely more eating. You don't have to worry about love or being alone or - or rent."

Kimbap blinks, one eye then the other. Yawns. Promptly whacks the middle of your face with the tip of his tail. "Fucking punk," you mutter.

So you're at a party. You're never usually at parties, but the owners of the distasteful couch will have been together for one year as of three months from now, and you don't know why they don't just celebrate it three months from now when it's actually been a year, but the punch tastes bad enough to be considered good and Kimbap is nice enough company and everyone's having fun so you don't mind much.

"Why, hello there." A voice says from above you, and your shoulders stiffen and your grasp on the punch cup tightens.

You look up and it's Jimin. Jimin, the vampire. Jimin, Jungkook's crush. Jimin, a Raphaelite painting come to life, dark pants and a shirt with so many buttons undone it can't even be considered a shirt, more like a suggestion of one.

He plops on the couch beside you just as Kimbap scrambles away- another traitor- and you look away from his collarbones to see the boy grinning, openly and unabashedly, fangs and all. He's definitely not alcohol drunk. He's drunk off something a little more intangible, maybe.

"Look," he mutters but you're already looking. At his eyes and his hands and his stupid eyelashes. Spider-leg long eyelashes. No one should feel this overwhelmed by eyelashes.

Jimin takes one look at you and promptly swallows his glass of vodka as if it were water. You think he's smiling when he turns to look at you again but you're looking at the ground, sinking deeper into the couch - cheeks aflame, human fondue. You think you can become one with the couch. Maybe it's not that bad. You pat it fondly.

The vampire laughs with his whole body, doubling over, almost toppling off the couch. Your breath hitches a bit but you try not to think too much about it. Try not to think about anything, really.

"The punch is good," you say lamely.

"No it isn't."

"No, it isn't." you agree, then down the punch in one go. You slam the empty glass on the armrest and feel your face contort with so much adamant disgust that Jimin laughs fully, and the sound is beautiful and incredibly - Jimin, you not-think.

You're still Not Thinking. It's actually amazing how much you're Not Thinking, you not-think. It's amazing what the human brain can do once you set your mind to it. There's so many things you're not thinking about! You're not thinking about how Jimin shuffles the tiniest bit closer to you, or how he leans into you fully when he laughs, or how he lights up the room with his laugh alone.

It's kind of a blur what happened after that. Jimin started talking about how kiwi is the worst of all fruits, and the conversation somehow diverts into the plot holes and the fall of capitalism, and then somehow- somehow- into slang terms for penis. ("I'm just saying that if someone were to approach me and tell me their wang is hard again I can and will block them from my life," he says with so much open hate it has you choking on a laugh).

You learn he volunteers at a nearby shelter.

You learn he, for some reason, thinks the O blood type is an actual abomination and should be burned for its sins. ("Nothing against people with O blood types, though, I'm sure they're lovely!" he makes sure to add.)

You learn he's been convinced by outside sources that Tony Stark is a raging feminist.

You learn he's beautiful and lovely and sometimes, when the light hits him just right, you can see flecks of red in his eyes.

Talking with Jimin is easy, really easy. You love words, but sometimes they're easier to say than others. You're surprised how easy they were to come out, how easy they were to say. You thought you would whisper them or they would get stuck in your throat. You thought you would slur them together or fracture them into too many. But with Jimin it's just easy, always so easy, he's always so patient and willing to listen.

Jimin is so tender, so pretty, lighting up a room without even realizing it. He's so bright. Bright enough for you to think this, this. This is why Jungkook likes him so much, and it's then that you slump backwards and every previously undiscovered lump reintroduces themselves to your butt. You were wrong, you take it back - the couch fucking sucks.

At some point it becomes so bright you had to excuse yourself, had to hide and curl in the nearest bathroom.

You're curled up in yourself on the toilet seat when a voice in your head tells you that you can't stay here forever. You have an assignment due monday. Jungkook will probably give out all the shop's products for free and adopt three more goldfish and a hamster and a golden retriever completely on impulse. Kimbap will probably miss you. Or not. Many times you don't know if he likes you or if he uses you for food and pats.

After a moment or two you stand up, fake a flush. Wash your hands, dry them. Dab some cold water on your neck. Wash your hands again. Dab some more water on the back of your neck, your forehead, your chest - anything to cool down. Wrists? Knees? Jungkook always puts some cologne there because of heat glands or something, but you're not sure if that has anything to do with him being a werewolf.

When you walk out it's with a confidence that you most certainly don't have, and you pretend you didn't just almost have a mental breakdown in the bathroom of your friend's almost-anniversary party as you walk back to the lumpy couch. Only this time it's not just Jimin.

This time it's Jimin talking so so tenderly to the boy next to him, little giggles spilling from his lips as he whispers into his ear, throwing himself onto the boy's shoulder and smiles at him with so much open adoration that your chest kinda ached a bit.

And it's not Jungkook like you expected - no. It's a boy. The boy. Honey boy. The boy that takes trains early in the morning and loves the ocean and loves his family before anything else. A split second and the boy smiles and then you know, you know it's the boy and not some sort of fever dream, some sort of hunger confusing your eyes and your brain and your heart. A smile all mirth and joy, one you think can't quite get captured right in a photograph. Boxy and bold and wild.

You turn back the way you came from and you think you hear someone calling after you but your brain is too hazy to make out what was said at all. You look around frantically for Jungkook, find him still hanging by the kitchen, drunk off the punch gummy worms and trying to pour some more into his cup but spilling half of it onto the kitchen counter.

"I'm leaving." You say to him, just to let him know, not because you expect him to follow you but because you expect him to worry when he searches and can't find you. You turn with the intention of leaving and he gently grabs your wrist, and you see something in his eyes - hazy and dreamy with alcohol and confusion and something else.

"Why? What's wrong? Did something happen?" He asks, tugs you forward gently to bring you closer, voice not reaching beyond a whisper, soft all around the edges.

"No no, nothing happened, please don't worry." You say, try to pry him off you just as gently, but he remains firm as he looks around for the potential threat that doesn't exist - doesn't exist, because you're making a big deal out of nothing, you know you are.

Because the boy you're already in love with is off limits and the two boys you just might have been almost in love with are together and you're a fool. The biggest fool. The biggest fool because you've almost just fallen for not one, not two, but three people, three people that are not at all interested, and you think there's something wrong with you that you're not quite ready to deal with just yet.

You look up and you see his jaw tighten, something akin to anger flicker in his eyes and no- no no no, you didn't mean for this to happen, didn't mean to ruin his night. "I'm going home, please don't worry about me and have fun. Please?"

He releases a breath and looks back down at you, expression softening so much it melts you down to your bones. "I won't let you go home like this. Let me walk you?"

You want to say no, want to let him have his fun, but he's looking at you with such quiet determination and you're just so, so tired. "okay," you say breathlessly.

You make sure to say goodbye to everyone before you leave, patting Namjoon extra hard on the back so that he stumbles forward with an oof. Jungkook's hand is on your back the whole time, a quiet reassurance.

You think you've done a pretty good job at avoiding them. It's kinda hard with Jungkook, since you live with him and all, but you try to eat your meals at separate times and avoid looking him in the eye when he gets too close. You take train rides at night now, just in case, try not to look at the ocean when you pass it by. Flinch so hard when you passed by an animal shelter that a kind old lady actually stopped to ask if you were okay.

There's kind of a box in your chest. It stores all the unwanted feelings, keeps them all at bay. But sometimes the box breaks. Breaks when you need it intact the most. Your box is crumpled, old, tearing at the seams, little bits and pieces spilling bit by bit until the day comes when they break out all at once, and you think the day gets closer the more you deal with things alone.

You think the day is today as a boy comes flying through the door, clothes and hair disheveled, and you think you look more than a bit petrified as the vampire you'd been avoiding for a few weeks launches towards you, smacks a few crumpled bills onto the counter.

"How do I say fuck you in flower?" He says, something wild threatening to tumble out of his chest as he inhales a shaky breath, and you scramble to gather the flowers for the bouquet, despite the oddity of the request.

Carnation, foxglove, meadowsweet; disdain, insincerity, uselessness. You add a daffodil in there just for the heck of it - new beginnings. Which is ironic, coming from you.

He watches as you tie the bouquet together, and there's something gentle about his gaze despite the fact your heart is threatening to tumble out of your chest and he looked seriously intimidating, like, two seconds ago.

You hand the bouquet over after tying a bow around its end and he takes it with a smile, walking out the door without even bothering to wait for his change. There's silence for a moment. Nothing. Then he walks right back in, bouquet still in hand, places it back on the counter and pushes it closer to you. You stare, stunned.

You make a weird noise and you think you've just keyboard smashed in real life because that's when Jimin loses all composure, laughing joyfully and clutching at his stomach.

"It's- for you," he says after a moment, gaze flickering from you to the bouquet then back to you then back to the bouquet.

"What did I do?" You ask but you know what you did. You straight up ran away from him. Straight up told him you were coming back and then you just didn't. Kinda ditched him there on the lumpiness of the couch, but you didn't think he would notice, didn't think he would remember anything that isn't related to honey boy - not that you'd blame him.

Jimin looks at you knowingly. You manage to hold his gaze for less than a second before looking down at your shoes.

"Do you wanna have dinner with us?" He's drawling. You think it's a nervous tic. "Me. Taehyung. Jungkook, too, if he wants." He says and looks at the door behind you, as if waiting for Jungkook to walk through it.

Ah, you think, mustering up a smile, so his name is Taehyung. "Taehyung," you say, testing how it sounds on your tongue.

"Yeah," he smiles something a little too fond, a little too endeared. "Taehyung."

"But- Me?" You fold your arms, shift on your feet, uncertainty lacing your every word, "You want me to go, too?"

Jimin looks a little too confused, a crease between his brows. The crease goes soft when he smiles or feigns surprise, but it never quite mushes away. You kinda wanna kiss him there one day.

"Of course I do. Why would I not?" A sludge that had been spreading through your insides seems to evaporate the tiniest bit at that, and you can almost feel your heart melting out of your chest, dripping over your ribs like cheese fondue.

"Oh," you mutter, and that's that.

Jimin smiles again and you wonder how he does it, how he manages to smile so much, if he ever gets tired of it. He fishes through his pocket for a moment, pulls out his phone. "Let's exchange numbers, yeah?"

And so you do. In complete silence. Please tell me what to say, you beg your shit brain, but it just continues the mantra of curse words on repeat. It's sunny and he's close to the window where the roses are giggling under their breaths, where the light is hitting him in all the right ways.

"What, no tips?" You ask the boy's back as he leaves, bouquet in hand and carrying it all too delicately, like someone who has a lot of love in his heart, and he's laughing over his shoulder as he opens the door.

"I gave you one last time!"

"That's not how it works!" You yell but he's already gone, leaving a trail of giggles in his wake.

"Are you serious? They invited us over for dinner?"

"Yeah," you say as you pick up a box with a huff, softening as Jungkook runs over to grab it from you. You mutter a thank you before continuing, "Is it that hard to believe?"

"Kinda!" He huffs but you're almost sure it's from mock anger than it is from carrying heavy boxes around, "We're going, right?"

"I don't know.." Your familiar gasps a bit too dramatically as he sets the box down on the counter.

"Noona, I'm pretty sure there's a law that states that you have to go to dinner when two attractive men ask you to."

"Source."

"Namjoon is the smartest person in the world and he confirms this."

"I confirm this." You jump as the man in question pops up behind you, and you have no idea how and when he got here.

You groan. "Fine."

Jungkook whoops loudly and Namjoon, despite not really knowing what's going on, joins in with the same amount of enthusiasm. It's incredibly endearing and you hate both of them.

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