#anxious reader

[jj-the-hobbit171]

Well, I’ve seen dom reader, cute reader, bad ass reader, but, I’ve never seen something for the anxious peps. So! I present to you, anxious reader.

• so reader is bacically an anxious hobbit. They have a hard time talking to people, and get super worried about stuff. They like to stay inside, in their comfort zone, where nothing goes terribly wrong.

• but, one way or the other, they found themselves joining the army as a teck person.

(its was their mom’s advice taken the wrong way. Reader, she meant join a club, not the army!)

•they’re super good with computers, to the extent it landed them with one of the best task forces, tf141. Well, that can’t go wrong. Right? Please say right.

• uhm, it went as well as you’d expect. Reader tripped when coming down the helicopter, falling face first into the hard concrete, while their very expensive laptop slid away from their fallen form, right to the feet of their new captain. John price. Shit.

• he raised his eyebrow, before holding a hand out for reader, pulling them up. They quickly apologized to price, fidgeting with the Clarence key in their pocket, showing a nervous smile.

• price sighed before leading them into the base, showing them all around before being startled by a crash of something metal on the floor and heavy steps coming closer from the far side of the base.

*a flash of brown hair crashed into you, making you fall once again to the hard floor, and once again, your (I think I need to emphasize) very expensive laptop slid across the floor, hitting the wall of the hallway.

• you stutter, looking at your life savings most definitely broken. You don’t notice the man on top of you before he shouts into your ear. “Bonnie!!!”

Honestly, I’m not in a good place right now, but I’ll finish this later but if f you have any questions or suggestions, please just knock on my door.

From the hobbit hole,

J.J

[leviraaaaaa]

Here it is safe. (Levi x reader)

Slight, very slight mentions of anxiety attacks? Idfk. Basically reader often gets overwhelmed and hides, guess who's there to help?

Levi knocked at your door, not surprised when he didn’t get a response. But he waited nevertheless. He tapped against the door a few more times until he reached for the doorknob and twisted it, cautiously pushing it open. Also not to his surprise, your office was empty, not a hair of you in sight. Seemingly. If not for the fact that he’d seen you entering here just two minutes ago and if not for the fact he’s been here way too many times to know better. And so he found himself slowly stepping in, soundlessly shutting the door back. Light on his feet, he approached the desk standing near the back of the room and peered down. “Hello.” You whispered when his silver eyes found yours. It was rather unusual to find most people crouching beneath their desks, was it not? Levi thought so too, the first time he found you here. He remembered being so confused, watching you as you curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth. He remembered being clueless, wondering if you were sick, wondering if he should call Hange or Nanaba, wondering if he should just leave you alone. But time has passed since and he’s learnt a thing or two. That everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes. Levi sighed.

“What are you doing?” He asked softly. “..hiding.” You mumbled, avoiding his gaze and pulling up your knees against your chest. You drummed your fingers anxiously on the floor. “So I’ve figured.” He nodded. “From what exactly?” "I.." You cringed a little. "..don’t know?” “Come out please.” You hesitated, meeting his gaze. It was soft. Warm. Understanding. Safe. But yet, the world was far scarier still. You glanced back at the floor.  “I don’t want to.” “It’s alright. Come out please.” You shook your head. Levi exhaled. “That’s okay,” He said, shifting. “I’ll just come down then.” Before you could even respond to that offer, he was already squatting down, slipping himself into the small space under the desk that could barely even fit you. But he settles in anyways, leaning back opposite of you, your knees touching his. You smiled, letting your hand find his and hooking your cold fingers through. In response, he rubbed circles on your palm with his thumb, squeezing gently. For a moment you just simply sat there, feeling gratitude flood your thundering heart as it quiets, the tension leaving your body and everything wrong in your mind eases away. In that moment, there was only you and him. You could finally breathe again. “You don’t have to do this every time, you know?” You told him. “What would people say?” He raised a brow questioningly. “Your reputation would be so screwed if people find out you hide under tables like a little child.” You shook your head, trying to explain. “Just because I’m weird, doesn’t mean you have to be too.” “You’re not weird.” “Levi.” “What?” ‘“You don’t have to do this. I’ll be fine in a bit.” “I know.” “So why?” You demanded. He looked at you and shrugged. “Because you needed me.” That’s all he says.  “You needed me." He repeated softly, "And I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

[sincerely-astra]

Since it makes some time since someone requested Yandere choir....

The choir with the most anxious girl in town?

Darling is like Penny, but just way more paranoid, anxious and shy, and most people at school find her weird and mock her social anxiety

Thanks in advance! :))

☁️Yandere Choir x Anxious!Reader🌧️

⚠️WARNING: General Yandere content and geared towards a fem reader!⚠️

Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg:

Introductions were the worst. Having everyone stare at you while you struggled to get the words, "Hello, my name is Y/N." out was not an enjoyable experience, especially when basically everyone in the classroom was snickering at your pathetic attempt to speak. As you kept stuttering through it, your anxiety peaking in you, the teacher finally let you off the hook and said, "That's enough Ms. Y/N, please go take a seat next to Ocean. Ocean, please raise your hand-" The teacher had no need to request that though as Ocean's hand shot up the moment she mentioned you would be sitting next to her.

You make your way over, where Ocean gives you a nod of acknowledgment as a greeting before turning back to the teacher. Normally she would've introduced herself already, but she needed to pay attention to the lesson, and so should you as you're gonna need to catch up! Other than that, the lesson went pretty smoothly, minus the few whispers you'd hear behind you during the beginning of it.

Thankfully, class ended quickly enough and as you got up, packing your things, Ocean comes up to your desk and holds her hand out as if she's expecting a handshake. You hesitantly shake her hand, which has a much stronger grip than yours, and she starts to speak, "I wanted to introduce myself before we have to go to our next classes. As Mrs. Jones said, I am Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg and the head of the chamber choir here at St. Cassian!" She held a prideful smile on her face as she spoke, soon continuing on as she introduced more about the school and the choir she mentioned.

You didn't get much of a word in either, even as you got up to start walking to your next class, which you two just happened to share, Ocean kept going on and on. It's not like you minded too much, though. Saves you the trouble from having to think of something to say and you were honestly just glad she wasn't making fun of you like those other kids were...

It hadn't even been a week after you met her either, where you were finally convinced by Ocean to join the choir she was always mentioning. Like, always mentioning.

You two had talked almost every day at that point and she had invited you to sit with her and the choir for lunch on multiple occasions, though you always declined because you didn't think you'd be comfortable sitting and talking with so many new people all at once... So how did she manage to get you to join the choir then? You have literally zero idea... Maybe it was Ocean praising it 24/7, or her speech about all the benefits it has and how you should join to make some new friends. Whatever it was, you walked in with Ocean that next choir rehearsal.

She introduced you to the choir and Father Markus, explaining how you are their newest member! A girl named Constance was the first to come up to you to welcome you into the choir, which she mostly did, but Ocean eventually had to cut her off so practice could move along. Now, the one thing you told Ocean you weren't gonna do by joining the choir, even though it was choir, was sing, which to your surprise, Ocean said was fine since another kid named Ricky was also in the choir and he didn't sing either.

That's how you ended up sitting next to a boy you barely know, temporarily without an instrument as they would have to borrow one from the band.

Despite how friendly most of the choir members were, save for Noel and Mischa, you pretty much clung to Ocean most of the time. As the only person you really knew there, she was like your lifeline as you didn't feel comfortable around the others quite yet... Now, if this was anyone else, they might have thought you were being annoying and too clingy, but this was Ocean and she thought the complete opposite. She reveled in the attention you gave her as not only did it feed her ego, but she also found herself enjoying your presence a lot.

You don't send annoyed eye rolls her way whenever she talks about her accomplishments and what she wants to do in the future, you don't make her feel bad that she needs to feel successful, you don't push her about her homelife and why she smells marijuana most days. You aren't like everyone else and she loves that, she can finally let her guard down around someone, something she can't even do with Constance. You're her vice.

If you ever start feeling overwhelmed with life and just need something to distract you, Ocean will 100% be your best bet for that. She will talk your ear off even if you didn't ask her to, which helps a lot when you just need to hear something in the background while you calm down.

Ocean, being the overachiever she is, knows how to do pretty much everything and she will be passing those skills down to you. She will be teaching you all kinds of different languages, instruments, crafts, everything and anything you want to learn, she will teach you.

Surprisingly, she is also a good mentor figure too.

Ocean isn't really the type to give you her things to wear, mainly because she doesn't have that many clothes to begin with, but if you ever ask, she would probably give you something like a piece of jewelry or a headband.

The more time she spends with you, the more Ocean just enjoys being in your presence... She never really thought she could like you more than she did, but getting to know you on a deeper level and having you come to her for most of your problems makes her feel so unimaginably happy. Suddenly, you aren't gonna be the only clingy one anymore and she isn't letting you out of her sight.

Whenever you guys pass notes to each other in class (which Ocean discourages as she says it's distracting but continues to do anyway because it's you,) Ocean always ends up keeping the notes you pass to her and when she isn't with you, she'll go through them, running her fingers along the words you wrote so she can feel close to you, even when you aren't with her.

You will never have to worry about people mocking you or being mean to you ever again with Ocean around because the people that do will be thoroughly run over with her words and her connection with the principal (Whom she will not stop bothering when someone is rude to you.) Word travels quick in St. Cassian and soon, people avoid you like the plague.

Ocean is lowkey either the best or worst person to be around when you have anxiety, there is no in between.

On those good days though, she'll take a break from whatever she is doing just to go find a quiet place for you to calm down in. She also has snacks that Constance gives her that she will let you eat.

As much as Ocean loves and cares about you, she will also not be letting you into her house... She would hate to have her parents' behavior affect you in any negative way, so her house is basically banned from you.

Even if you can't go to Ocean's house though, that doesn't mean she isn't allowed at yours, which believe me, she is there pretty much every day.

You and Ocean were in your bedroom, Ocean ranting about something a teacher said while finishing up her homework, while you were snuggled up on your bed, half listening and half watching a movie. It was your average afternoon, a routine that you and Ocean had grown comfortable with after doing it for so long.

And Ocean had liked it that way, she liked predictability, she liked having a routine only you and her share. She liked having things stay the same as always.

...But she supposes she doesn't mind you changing things up a bit either.

"I'm glad you're here, you know... You are like, the one person I feel comfortable around." Your words were full of adoration and were a complete shock to Ocean, who immediately stopped writing, turning to face you with wide eyes.

For some reason, even though Ocean had never thought of you that way, those words made her heart skip several beats and her face flush red. Quite frankly, her having such a visceral reaction to your words was making her feel incredibly embarrassed for herself... How come all of a sudden, when you just said something that she's sure everyone says to their friends, she starts to feel like she's the most special girl in the whole world? Why are her hands suddenly fidgeting? Why do her words have a stutter to them now as she replied with, "Y-You should, I'm a very comfortable person to be around!"

This feeling she's never felt before..., it couldn't be love could it??

...

Seeing you make a huff of amusement at her words, your smile bright as you turn back to your movie...

Well, maybe change is good. Maybe loving you isn't all bad.

So, one of the ways Ocean shows her love to you, is that even if she is an eternal yapper at heart and she knows you don't mind listening to her, she now is very adamant in listening to you and what you have to say, even if that's nothing at all.

She loves hearing your voice.

She would become so red if you did her hair, like put it into braids or just play with it, it just feels so weirdly intimate and domestic that she can't help but become so flustered.

There are a lot of moments where she's afraid of doing anything she sees as too intimate since she doesn't want you to possibly reject her and her feelings. Even then, though, she has a hard time not just being near you and showering you with praise.

Ocean has a bad habit of talking over people. Most of the time, it's unintentional, but there are moments when someone is talking to you for whatever reason and she'll just come up and crash the whole conversation. Those times, it's definitely not an accident.

Sometimes when she's writing an essay or just anything in general, her mind will wander and she'll end up writing paragraphs all about you. Some of the stuff gets a bit strange too..., like how she wrote 2 paragraphs on why she likes the way you walk.

As your friend, and hopefully potential lover, she should be helping you with your anxiety, right? Well, she does for the most part, but Ocean can't but place some fear in you sometimes when it comes to talking with strangers or going anywhere without her. It's for your own good, she doesn't want anyone to hurt you.

Noel Gruber:

Noel was having a bad day today.

Okay, so he has a bad day every day, but that fact that he's acknowledging today was really bad means a lot for how his day was going so far.

First off, some stupid douchebags were making fun of him for being openly queer, then he had to deal with his teacher pulling him out of class even though the kids behind him were making a ruckess, then he had to deal with Ocean during lunch. All of this combined made him want to bang his head against a wall.

Thankfully though, it was all almost over, all he had to do was turn the corner, walk a few paces, do choir, and he could finally go home. He just needed to get through this final stretch of the day and all would be well. So, walking down the route he usually takes to go to choir, he slowly starts to turn the corner, not at all realizing that someone was also making their way past it...

That person being you.

You both knock into each other, knocking you back and Noel onto the ground below. Noel lets out a grunt of both hurt and frustration, quickly looking up to the perpetrator so he could scold them for their carelessness, his frustration levels hitting their peak as this was kind of his last straw. However, as soon as he looks up at you, he couldn't even get a word out as you promptly apologized, anxiousness in both your voice and behavior was evident. "I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to do that, I should've looked past the corner or something. Are you hurt? Did you break anything? Should I take you to the nurse?-" Questions flew out of your mouth at lightning speed as you nervously flailed your arms around while you tried to explain yourself.

This kind of reaction from anyone at St. Cassian was new for Noel as most people wouldn't even bother to apologize and would just insult him before walking off. It's not like it was all your fault either, so this was really strange for him... Awkwardly, he gets up from the tiled floor and adjusts himself, ignoring your rambling before speaking over you, "I'm fine, stop worrying so much." Which thankfully got you to calm down a little. Noel was honestly kind of at a loss for words in the moment, wanting to say something else to you, but he didn't know quite what to say... So, he just shrugs it off and walks past you to the choir room, muttering a, "Sorry...," as he passes by.

That was your first introduction to each other and apparently it wouldn't be the last as soon enough you joined the choir.

Becoming friends (Whenever you got into the choir, he noticed Ocean enjoying having you cling to her, which he hated, so he starts to become your friend to spite her. He soon enjoys being your friend though.)

As Ocean had done a million times before with every other member of the choir, as she was pretty much the reason they all joined in the first place save for Mischa who was forced to, Ocean introduces you to everyone before Constance goes up to you and takes up your attention. He noticed you looked just as nervous as ever, which wasn't surprising, but what was surprising was the glow on Ocean's face after the choir rehearsal had ended as you clung to her. He knows her prideful face when he sees it, and apparently having you cling to her instead of any other choir member was giving her an ego boost she so desperately craved.

Now, Noel doesn't hate Ocean, he really doesn't. Sure, she can be annoying at times and he gets onto her a lot for being an ass to people, but that doesn't mean he hates the girl. In a way, they were kind of like siblings, at least, that's how Noel saw it. But watching you stand by her side like a loyal puppy with Ocean having a power trip over it made a switch flip inside of him. It was annoyingly pathetic how much you relied on Ocean and Noel wasn't having it. He knew you needed some kind of guidance in this school by someone who's been through hell in it, so he's gonna help you.

He's convinced himself he has to, otherwise you are going to have a rough time here.

So, whenever Ocean is busy with something else and you are left to stand idly by her side, Noel makes it his mission to go and talk to you. This turned out to be a good decision on his part as well since you were surprisingly pleasant to talk to unlike most people at St. Cassian. Your anxiousness did mean he needed to do most of the talking, but he could really care less, if he had to wait an eternity for you to get out of your shell and treat him like a normal human being compared to everyone else, then so be it.

You also enjoyed this dynamic you had with Noel. You did love and appreciate Ocean taking you under her wing and becoming your friend, but having Noel there was different in a good way. He showed you which places and people to avoid, where the good hiding spots are, how to get away with taking a nap in the nurse's office, basically, he was the street smarts to Ocean's book smarts. You had to even admit, he had a way of making it actually fun to let go and talk to him, something you'd never thought you'd be able to do. It was refreshing.

Noel doesn't mind how anxious you get at all, he's kind of friends with Penny and despite how confident he is, he's had his moments too, so he's pretty good at helping you manage your anxiety.

Sometimes though, just because he thinks it's kind of funny, he'll come up behind you when you are least expecting it and spook you. If you do end up having like, a panic attack or something because of it though, he'll feel so awful and will help you out immediately.

He loves having you read to him because, as you don't talk much, he finds it nice to hear your voice.

If you're ever hungry, trust that Noel will let you eat all his Taco Bell leftovers, he could literally care less.

Noel is extremely picky on who you spend your time with and if you don't fight back somewhat, you probably wouldn't talk to anyone but him.

He will also be making you give him access to all your social media accounts and no, this is not negotiable. He wants no creeps near you and probably ends up turning on some kind of child safety features on your phone.

He will give you a screen time so you are forced to talk to him.

You can literally appear at his house in the middle of the night, and Noel will not care at all, he trusts you completely.

If your anxiety ever gets too bad, he might help you find a therapist to talk to that's not the school one since Dr. Prattle is the worst.

You're more than welcome to come to him to vent though if that's what you'd prefer.

Noel hates the idea of you keeping secrets from him, like, a lot. So, because he wants to try and lean you in the right direction so you feel comfortable sharing things with him, he shows you Monique. He was undeniably anxious when he first showed her to you, because he might literally die if his biggest obsession finds his other biggest obsession weird, but thankfully that wasn't the case and his plan actually worked! After telling you about her, you pretty much get weekly updates on Monique and her story since he changes and adds things frequently.

Now the only biggest secret being kept between you was his sexuality!

Except it wasn't because you had known for a long time...

You knew because 1. Noel wasn't exactly secret about it. 2. Anytime you are with Noel at school, someone always manages to pass by and whisper slurs at him. And lastly, 3. It was kind of obvious.

Now, this does save him the whole coming out ordeal but Noel has to admit that he hates that he never got to formally tell you... It's just so important to him, and having something like that ripped away was honestly heartbreaking.

Please give him hugs and tell him he'll be alright- He needs it.

Do people still bully you even though you are with Noel? Yeah, it's actually kind of gotten worse since you've become friends with Noel. But you at the very least have each other and even if Noel has no power to stop the bullies, if any of them lay a finger on you, he's gonna kick some ass.

His mom actually adores you so much, you are the daughter she never had and she just thinks you're so precious. (She's low-key also encourages Noel's darker thoughts, but moving on...)

You're required to hang out with him during his work shifts, he needs someone to talk to that isn't his burdensome coworkers, and you're by far the best option.

Noel sometimes paints you, but he never lets you see the final result since he's embarrassed about it.

If you look past all the awful notes and stuff that your bullies put in your locker, sometimes you'll find a note threatening you to stay away from certain people and to do certain things that make you end up isolating yourself. You have zero clue, but that's all Noel...

Noel knows it's bad, but sometimes he has fantasies of bad things happening to you. It's dark and twisted, but his whole life is romanticizing tragedy, and he just loves you so much that he can't help himself but to imagine the worst possible scenarios, even going as far as to write about it sometimes.

Noel would never hurt you under any circumstance, you're way too special for him to do that to you!

...

But if you ever did try leaving, he does know a few ingredients to knock you out for a while.

Mischa Bachinski:

Mischa has never been one to cry, sure, he may get so angry that he feels like he wants to cry out from frustration, but rarely does he ever actually cry. It's a trait he's proud of, he feels like it makes him look not as weak. It makes him not look like the sobbing little boy he was when he was ripped away from his mother.

Truthfully, he hasn't cried since then, he would never allow himself to. If this world was only ever gonna break his heart over and over with no signs of comfort or relief, then he wasn't going to give it the satisfaction of him bawling his eyes out.

...

That was until Talia, the absolute love of his life, broke up with him.

He didn't think it was possible he could cry as much as he was right now, his eyes were puffy and red, his cheeks stained with tears that just kept flowing, and his phone laid on the bed in front of him showing past texts of him and Natalia. He hated how weak he felt, but god did this hurt.

Mischa had been crying for hours at this point, skipping school entirely as he knew he couldn't handle it today. He needed some kind of comfort, something to take his mind off of the hurt in his heart. And what better way to do that than to vent to some online strangers.

Finally grabbing his phone and swiping off his past text messages with Natalia, Mischa goes to the internet, gets on some old chat room site he uses occasionally to vent out his frustrations, and he taps a button to connect him with someone. It took a minute to connect him to someone, which he can only contribute to the crappy internet in the basement, but eventually he connected with someone which was, of course, you.

The conversation was a little awkward at the start, with you trying to navigate through the conversation without triggering your anxiety and with Mischa trying to find some segway to where he could just get all of the horrible emotions he was feeling in the moment out. Mischa did find his segway at some point, and you being the kind person you are, listened to his problems. You guys actually talked for hours and eventually also traded phone numbers to talk more. (P.S. I don't know who needs to hear this, but don't give out your phone number to random people online- Learn internet safety.)

Your long conversations didn't just stop there either; it might have been the fact that you both were strangers or the fact that this was online, but you both found comfort in each other and found it easy to tell each other everything. You learned so much about each other, you learned of Mischa's Youtube channel, how he used to live in Ukraine, how he is in the choir at his school, and Mischa learned about your anxiety, where you lived, and about your bullies. With that last one, he promised you if he ever met them, he wouldn't hesitate to punch them, something you thought was a joke but he was dead serious about.

All of this was to say that you and Mischa became good friends, even if it was online. You helped him in so many different ways, especially when it came to getting over Natalia, and he helped you gain confidence in yourself, it's almost too good to be true.

But it was true.

And it was only going up from here.

On a late Sunday night, you and Mischa were chatting like usual. Nothing was totally out of the ordinary with Mischa just ranting about this one rapper he likes and you listening, but as he is mid-way through his rant, you ask him, "Hey Mischa, what school do you go to?" To which, he immediately responded with, "St. Cassian High School, it's school for whiny, privileged kids, why?" Luckily and unbeknownst to Mischa, this was exactly the information you wanted to hear as you excitedly blurt out, "Oh good, I'm moving to Uranium and I didn't know if there were more than one high school or not."

That was the news of the century for Mischa, his eyes going wide as he heard you say that over the speaker in his phone. He practically jumped out of his seat, taking his phone with him as he ecstatically started to pace around the basement. "For reals!? Do not joke with me right now, it's not funny." But you weren't joking in the slightest, you meant every word.

You were moving to Uranium and going to St. Cassian. Mischa will finally be able to see his best friend in person and not even for just a few days, but for now and the foreseeable future. If Mischa is allowed to have just one good thing in life, he's glad it's this.

Mischa made sure to be kept up to date with everything that was happening during your move, calling you every chance he got just to see how it was going as a small part of him was fearful that things wouldn't end up the way he so wished they would...

Thankfully though, they did and as soon as you were in Uranium and let out of your new house by your parents, you and Mischa immediately met at the nearest park which was pretty close to your house.

To say that Mischa was beyond excited to see you was an understatement, he seriously felt like a kid again and had to calm himself down while he waited for you so he didn't scare you off or anything... Of course, that didn't last long though because as soon as you got there he couldn't contain his feelings and immediately ran over to hug you. He couldn't help himself..., you are just so different in person in the best of ways, you're so pretty, he loves the moments of silence you have when you are trying to think of something to say, he loves the way your hands are always messing with something on your person.

He's so glad to finally have someone near him who truly loves and understands him. Trust him when he says he is never letting you go.

Okay, so, even if this was only for the first few days you were in Uranium, Mischa quickly found himself loving having you cling to him since you didn't know anyone here. He finds it so incredibly adorable.

For whatever reason, Mischa refuses to let you pay for anything- If you ever want something, trust that he's gonna get it for you one way or another, and you are not going to be the one buying it.

As chivalrous as Mischa might be, he will also 100% make fun of you (in a joking way, of course.)

He will stop immediately though if it ever hits too close to home for you, your comfort is far more important to him than a laugh ever will be.

Once you start branching out to more and more people in Uranium, most notably Noel and Ocean, Mischa, for whatever reason, can't help but feel a little jealous... He knows it's good for you to make other friends and it's nice for you to get along with the people he's close to, but whenever Ocean holds on your arm or when Noel ruffles your hair...

It just gives him such an indescribable sense of loneliness and anger.

He wants to squish your cheeks so badly. (That's it, that's the head canon.)

If you are ever feeling down or your anxiety is really getting to you, Mischa will not hesitate to make an absolute fool out of himself trying to cheer you up.

He'll do whatever it takes, whether it be making fun of himself or saying the most unhinged things out of nowhere, he will do it.

So, in order to get to Mischa's room, aka the basement, there are gonna be times where you have to go past his parents. You know all about them from Mischa, and it's safe to say you aren't fond of them in the slightest, his parents aren't that fond of you either... They don't know what you are doing with that boy, but to them, you are way better off not associating with him.

You aren't leaving him though, never in a million years would you ever even think of the prospect.

Mischa never thought he would ever get over his break up with Natalia, not since it broke him in such awful ways that it took months for him to not think about her every second of the day.

And even when he did eventually get over it, he thought it would take a while for him to fall in love again. His heart was now so heavily guarded and he was so scared of having to open up about everything to someone new.

But then, to his absolute shock and somewhat horror, he didn't have to open up to someone new, quite the opposite in fact. Because there eventually came a day when he started to get all flustered and red-faced around you. When he first realized, he almost didn't want to accept it, fearful that it would totally ruin the great relationship you both have so carefully formed, one that he doesn't think he can handle losing.

But the feelings, no matter how hard he tried to push them down, kept coming up, along with the thoughts of holding you in his arms and kissing your soft lips...

He started to not mind those thoughts so much the more he thought about it. Maybe it would nice to hold your hand and whisper sweet nothings to you, in fact, maybe that would be the next best step in your relationship.

Mischa usually wasn't always quick to fall in love, but when he does, he falls hard.

He is always constantly craving your touch, especially in the moments when he can't have it like in class or when he's in his bedroom alone. He's a very touch-starved individual.

Mischa is always making an effort to learn and memorize everything about you, even to an unhealthy degree.

All he wants to do is kiss you, is that so much to ask for?

Mischa has no clue how you came to become friends with a guy like him, but he literally is so grateful for it. He loves you so much it hurts, and thinking of the fact that your paths may have never crossed is such a gut-wrenching thought process.

On the nights where he's missing you really bad, he'll literally just stay up all night scrolling through photos of you on his phone, wishing you were with him or that he could hear your voice.

And sometimes he even takes things a step further and decides to watch you sleep..., he just really needs to see you safe and near him.

Mischa is no stranger to bullies and he is not a stranger to beating said bullies up. He will be beating the crap out of anyone who even dares looks at you wrong, mark his words.

As cheesy as he knows it is, he writes secret admirer letters for you and stuffs them in your locker, most of which have a love poem written in Ukrainian. If you manage to decipher the letter, than be prepared because some of the things he writes about are incredibly disturbing...

Like, sometimes he wants to just murder someone because of how beautiful you are, his passion and love for you not being able to stay contained inside of him.

Ricky Potts:

One of the perks and downfalls of being in the St. Cassian chamber choir as someone who can't speak, is the fact that most of the time, the rest of the choir forgets he's there.

He could literally not be playing whatever instrument they stuck him with this time for the whole song, and Ocean will congratulate him on how well he did. It was a curse in the way that he always felt such an indescribable loneliness at times, but it was also a blessing in that he gets to do one of his favorite activities, people watch! Which was great to do with the rest of the choir since they were fascinating individuals.

And he never really expected this to change as Ocean had been failing for months to get anyone new to join the choir, so he just assumed this was it, this was the group he'd be stuck with before he graduated. Even if he was totally content with that, he definitely didn't mind having you sit next to him on some random whim of Ocean's, giving him a bit of company.

Although you both didn't talk much to begin with, he because he is unable to and you because of your anxiety, eventually you both picked up subtle ways to communicate without speaking or ASL. You both would give each other a certain look that could mean a variety of things or you'd both pick up on each other's body language and act accordingly.

Ricky does wish you'd talk to him at least a little bit, but this was fine to, he gets not everyone is the talkative type. Little did he know, though, that you wanted to be able to talk to him just as much as he did. Ricky seemed really sweet to you and you enjoyed how easily you both could read each other, it was nice, effortless acquaintanceship that you longed to turn into more. But to do that, you'd have to do the one thing that you really hated doing..., talking.

Despite wanting to be his friend, you sure as hell dragged your quiet acquaintance out... It took a very long time for you to get a word out to him without dying on the spot and even longer to be able to actually speak with him.

But when you did, Ricky was so happy for both of you. Even throughout all your stuttering, pauses, and awkward glances away, Ricky really did appreciate stepping out of your comfort zone to talk with him and his way of repaying you was to fill whatever awkward silences with his yapping.

Whether you know ASL or not, he will be talking about everything and anything. People usually don't give him the time of day, so you best believe Ricky has a lot to talk about with you. You don't mind though because it was either that or dealing with a silence that would surely only make your nerves worse..., so obviously you'd choose the former.

For Ricky, he's pretty much known since the day you first showed up to rehearsals that you had some anxiety, it was obvious to him in the way you'd glance around the room occasionally to see what others were doing before copying them, when you would fidget with your hands, and how you'd refuse to make eye contact with anyone. He's very aware of your anxiety and he always tries his best to be someone comforting for you, someone quiet and away from the chaos that is the choir.

Ricky once read that taking walks or just getting out into nature helps people who get overwhelmed really easily, so he pretty much incorporates that whenever he can into your schedules, which means you both usually walk together in peaceful silence during the weekend or after school.

He will not stop trying to get you into every movie franchise he loves, he wants to be able to talk about it with you, but it's really hard when he has to explain the lore 3 times over every single time he has a conversation about it with you.

Since you're stuck on the sidelines with him during choir, he will be trying to teach you some of the instruments they use. Granted, he definitely doesn't know how to play all of them, but he is a very good teacher for the ones he does know!

Almost every sweater he owns will now be in your closet because Ricky just loves seeing you wear his clothes, specifically his sweaters because he thinks you look so cozy in them.

It's also nice to know that other guys can see you wearing things of his and know that you guys are close, even if it's not in the way they think. :)

He likes to draw you for his warmup sketches for no particular reason other than he just likes to draw you. He doesn't show you most of them, but the ones he does show you, he will melt so fast at any praise you give him on them.

Ricky will be trying everything to help you manage your anxiety since he sees how hard it can be for Penny, so he wants to do his best to help you! He'll teach you new breathing exercises, help you find distractions, help you through the 333 rule, etc. Even if none of it works out, he definitely won't stop trying until he finds something that helps you.

If you ever need to like, hold his hand or something when you start to feel overwhelmed, trust that he is right there and his hand is ready to be held! He'll even let you squeeze it as tight as you need to.

Pretty much all of your hangouts will be in private since Ricky isn't too big on going out and junk, he just prefers to have you both in his room or in your room doing whatever. Another big reason though is because he wants to have you to himself.

Now, St. Cassian is a catholic school in a small town in the middle of nowhere Canada, which, as one can probably tell, isn't the most accepting place for people who the population perceives as different. And what they perceive as different, unfortunately includes one Uranium's only nonverbal disabled kid, Ricky.

Ricky's dealt with small amounts of bullying before, mostly in terms of him being neglected and left out by the other kids purposefully, but usually none of the kids at St. Cassian bothered him that much. That was until he was "graced" with the presence of his newest bully, Max Warner.

For god knows what reason, Max was hellbent on making Ricky's life a living hell, be it him tripping Ricky in the hallways, messing with his AAC device, or writing nasty stuff about him on his locker, Max seemed to not be able to get enough of Ricky's suffering. Ricky, being the pacifist he is, wasn't gonna fight him about it necessarily, but he did make sure to tell teachers and the school counselors about it so Max could hopefully get into some kind of trouble. Which he did, but even then Max would just continue on like nothing happened and it was seriously starting to really irk Ricky...

But the most he thought he was able to do was vent out his frustrations to you and continue hammering the teacher about it, he knew no one else was gonna stand up to Max about this since everyone else pretty much ignored his existence and the few who don't, like the choir, didn't know about Max's tyraid. You were the only one who did know.

Never would he have expected you to do anything about it though.

On the tragic day of another bullying attempt by Max, you and Ricky were walking down the hallway that led to the choir room, which was thankfully mostly empty due to it being after school. You both were chatting like normal, not at all expecting Max to just appear behind you both out of nowhere and to grab Ricky by the collar, causing him to lose his balance a bit. It was something Ricky had gotten quite used to, evident by the exhausted, defeated look upon his face as Max just started spouting all sorts of horrible things about him.

You weren't used to this though and watching someone treat Ricky like that, despite the inner panic you were feeling, made a large wave of anger pass through you. No one should be treated like that, especially not Ricky, someone you care so much about and would never want to see hurt.

Listening to Max just go on and on, mocking Ricky and his disability..., there came a point where you just couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't stand to stand aside like everyone else has done in the past, you couldn't stand to watch such a pathetic individual torment your friend.

You could barely process what you had done in those next 10 seconds, other than your fist hurting like hell, and you rushing Ricky out of the hallways and into the choir room. It was only after you both made it and you had the chance to breathe where you could look down at your fist and see the blood on it, the way you got it rushing back to you. You punched Max square in the face. You punched him so hard that his nose started to bleed and a sickening crunch was heard whenever your fist made contact with his face.

You could barely believe you did that... and neither could Ricky.

He would have never in a million years guessed that you were gonna punch someone for him, it was so incredibly surreal... And he loved it. The moment was still playing fresh in his mind, but he would play it 10 times over just to see you care so much about him that you protected him when he couldn't do it himself. His heart was racing so fast and even if he's sure Max will have his head for this, he can't find it in himself to care.

Because he loves you.

He loves you so much.

Remember how I said that if you ever feel overwhelmed, he'd let you hold his hand? Well, now he holds your hand every chance he gets, even if you aren't overwhelmed at all.

Ricky will be getting into everything you are into, no questions asked. Do you like a certain show? He loves that show too! Is there a certain food place you like? What do you know, that's his favorite place as well! Do you collect something? Well good news, because he collects it to and you can have his collection!

Please marry him-

Ricky has been interested in a lot of things in his 17 years on this Earth and one of those things just so happened to be, flowers. Meaning he does know about Floriography and he loves to gift you flowers with specific meanings. His favorites being, Aster (Symbol of love), Baby's breath (Everlasting Love), pink Carnations (I’ll never forget you), and a lot more. If you ever catch on though, he'd probably pretend that he had no idea or say that he meant it in a platonic sense-

You've known about Zolar for a while now, but Ricky gets so excited when you bring it up or if you remember the small details he's shared with you about it, it gets him so happy because he likes to know that you actually care and listen to him.

Ricky might not want to do too much in the case of his bullies, but when it comes to your bullies, it's a totally different story. The fact that anyone tries to bully is reason enough in his book that they don't deserve any semblance of peace or kindness, and he will do anything in his power to get them off your back, and I mean anything.

Ricky, for some reason, likes to smell like you. It's something he knows he's probably picked up from his cats, but he likes it because it's like he's telling other people he's yours and you're his.

He is always so tempted to kiss you in every single moment, but mostly when you are asleep. He thinks you look so adorable and unaware when you sleep..., he really can't resist you sometimes.

He considers every hang out you guys have as a date, even the ones where you both aren't doing anything but just laying next to each other's side. He doesn't care if you both didn't agree it was a date or something, he knows you love him so that makes this a date. Obviously.

Penny Lamb:

You know how most people tend to make friends with those similar to them? Be it that they have the same habits as you, they act the same way as you, they dress the same way, or anything else, people make friends by those they can find a connection with.

And that theory was exactly the one Ezra Lamb had thought of when he made up his mind on introducing you to his sister, Penny.

For some context, you had met Ezra on one of your late night strolls through the park. It definitely wasn't a ceremonious meeting as you quickly learned the reason he was there was because he was selling medication to some college kids, but for some reason you both felt compelled to talk to each other. He seemed to be very well versed when dealing with your anxiety as you learned the more times you both bumped into each other. Apparently it's because, as he mentions to you when you ask him about it, his sister dealt with the same thing.

Well, one thing led to another and you two became friends despite your very different personalities. Ezra, of course, eventually wanted to introduce you to his sister. To him, you were both quite similar in that you were the same age, you were both girls, and you both had crippiling anxiety. And going back to his theory from earlier, it just made sense to him that you both would be good friends.

That's what led you to where you were now, in Penny and Ezra's shared bedroom with you in Penny awkwardly shaking hands as Ezra introduces you to each other before leaving the room so you both can "get to know each other."

Yeah, you both didn't do anything of the sort, in fact, you both didn't speak a single word to each other the whole time you were there. It was a lot more awkward than you expected and without having Ezra there to mediate or anything, you both were just too anxious to make a move which really sucks, because Penny's heard a lot about you from Ezra and she really wanted this to work out...

But alas, it didn't and you went home about an hour or two later without a friend gained. You kind of just assumed that would be the end of your interactions, maybe you'd see each other once in a blue moon, considering Uranium isn't all that big and you both went to the same school together, but that was all you really anticipated to happen.

Of course, at that moment you didn't realize how pushy Ezra can be when he's made up his mind about something. See he heard from Penny that you two didn't end up talking much..., or rather at all, which didn't surprise him very much, but he had already made up his mind that your friendship was going to happen, and he doesn't change his mind that easily.

Cue Ezra basically coaching Penny through a conversation with you, plus the added benefit of you joining the choir, and that's how you got Penny nervously coming up to you after one choir practice and just lore dumping on you about lions. Normally, Penny would have never agreed to this, but as stated before, Ezra was pushy and Penny did think you both could be good friends... So she stepped out of her comfort zone to talk to you.

It was pretty confusing for you since she didn't seem all that talkative when you first met her, not to mention you had no clue Ezra was that keen on you guys getting along, but after about the third or fourth time she's done it, you got used to it and eventually got comfortable around her enough to add in a few words of your own which she was ecstatic about.

You both ended up realizing how similar you were and it was really nice to have someone you could connect with about anxiety and how much it affects your life. You kind of wish you met her sooner actually, she understands how you tick a lot more than the rest of the choir can and that's extremely helpful when your anxiety starts getting to the point where you like, can't breathe, or you feel like you're on the verge of a panic attack.

Ezra was right, it's good to have a friend who just gets you like Penny does.

Penny is really good at helping you manage your anxiety, but hers... not so much. For whatever reason, she just cannot handle it by herself and she always ends up trying to convince herself that she's fine, even when she's not... Please help her through it because she's not gonna be able to do it herself-

Penny loves to gift you random trinkets and doodads, meaning you will have a lot of random rocks and small knickknacks she finds from the forest and garage sales, respectively.

Whenever you guys text, Penny either writes some of the most formal text messages you'll ever receive or utter nonsense that requires a Sherlock Holmes to decipher, it all really depends on her mood.

Penny will be subtly trying to get you into Johnny Moon (she isn't subtle at all), and it's like, even if you aren't a fan, you have to respect the effort.

As you guys grow as friends, Penny just gets such strong feelings of wanting to protect you even if she doesn't know from what... She just knows that if anyone puts their hands on you, they are gonna be way more than sorry.

A habit you've gained from hanging out with Penny so much is that sometimes when there are awkward silences between you and someone else, you'll just info dump like her to fill the space. You didn't even notice you started doing it until you did it around Penny and she pointed it out to you-

Penny knows like, every breathing exercise in the book, and it honestly is her favorite trick in helping her calm down since it forces her to focus on her breathing rather than whatever is making her anxious. She'll definitely teach you all of them as well if you want, though with you, she kind of prefers taking you somewhere secluded to calm you down there so it's just you two instead of you two and a ton of other people.

Please let her ramble about why she thinks certain characters have anxiety or why certain characters are really bad representations of people with anxiety, she needs to get it off her chest and you're the only one who'll understand! :(

Penny waited for a minute before introducing you to her one other friend, Tammy, since she knows Tammy can be kind of a lot sometimes... When you guys do meet and you get to know each other better, trust that Tammy adores you!

So, it's embarrassing for Penny to talk about since she has a bit of a bad track record when it comes to her crushes, but for a while now, Penny has been feeling a certain way about you. She wouldn't exactly call it love yet, but she can't help but smile so brightly whenever you are near her and her hands get all sweaty when you are holding them..., it may not be love yet, but she wholeheartedly loves having you with her.

...

It wasn't love yet, but it sure is love now.

Penny's love for you really started during a sleepover you two were having. It was really late at night, about 2 AM, and Penny could tell you were about to pass out from the way your eyes could barely manage to stay open as you watched the movie currently playing on her television.

You two were already sitting side-by-side and holding hands, but that's not what made Penny's heart start skipping beats, no, it was when, not only a few minutes later, your head hit her shoulder and started to nuzzle into her neck. She knows you were only doing it because you were about to fall asleep, but that made her so incredibly flustered that she went still for a good 30 minutes, trying not to breathe too hard that you would move away.

Having you be so comfortable around her that you would get so touchy just made her fall hard from the brink she was once on..., she can't believe she's saying it, but she loves you.

The first thing Penny does when she finds out that she likes you is to increase the amount of gifts she gives you by tenfold, she finds it's one of the only ways she can show her interest in you without exploding on the spot.

If you ever want to, she would be more than happy to have you hold her face while you do her makeup. :)

Penny isn't the greatest when dealing with bullies, but she'll try a lot harder for you! She always makes sure to ask you before she does anything though since she doesn't want to cross your boundaries or anything.

She somehow convinced you to let her kiss you on the forehead or cheek every once in a while. She will always say it's platonic, but she does not mean that one bit-

Penny practically makes you stay over at her house every night and if you can't, then believe me when I say that she'll be getting into your house one way or another. (She probably somehow has keys to your house or she gets through your window in the least elegant fashion possible.)

She loves you so much that she can't even describe it in words, which she has tried as evidenced by all the letters under her bed. It's so difficult to describe how her bones feel like they are crumpling every time you look at her or how her body feels like it's gonna cave in on itself with every little touch... Seriously, you make her so sick and she cannot get enough of it. It would be impossible for her to let you go.

She isn't really the type to get jealous, but having to share you with the rest of the choir, because they all might kill each other if they don't, is extremely hard for her as she just wants to keep you all to herself.

She wonders if you like her room enough to want to stay there for a while...

Constance Blackwood:

You don't think you have ever walked so fast in your life as you did today...

Bullies aren't anything new to you, being the anxious person you are, you've dealt with your fair share of awful people before. But in the past, at least you had somewhere to run away to, a sanctuary where no one could mock you or get to you. However, you moved. Now you are in Uranium with a whole new group of bullies and no place to run off to.

Hearing their insults and mocking tones from behind you, your pace kept growing as you held onto your backpack straps tightly. You had no idea where you were going at this point, all you wanted was to be away from them. You had been at this for a while now, and you were so over it..., you didn't want to potentially lead them to your house, so where were you to go?

Finally lifting your head off the ground, eyes scanning the area around you, your eyes get caught on a small cafe down the block labeled, "Blackwood Cafe." With no other place to go and the cafe seemingly like your best option at the moment, you hurriedly dashed over and went inside. Closing the door behind you as you catch your breath, you glance over the cozy cafe you're now in, silently admiring the cute pastel colors and warm interior.

Thankfully, there were a few people already in there, you just know it would be incredibly awkward if you were the only one, and you had also luckily had some cash on you, giving you a reason to stay here while your bullies hopefully left you alone. You went up to the counter, ordered, and got seated, but even if you were safe in here and able to just breathe for a second, you actually had no idea if your bullies would leave you alone when you inevitably have to leave... What if they just waited till you walked out to jump you? What if they come inside and no one stops them from dragging you out??

God, you hated your anxiety... You can feel your heart pounding and your hands shaking even if nothing was happening, you could only hope no one would notice.

And no one did! ...Except for one girl, Constance Blackwood.

Constance had always been one to observe the cafe's patrons while they enjoyed their treats, it's a habit she picks up from her dad who is always looking to make sure their customers were having a good time. So, it should come as no surprise that she would notice and observe you too. Except instead of seeing a content face or a calm demeanor, she saw your anxiety-ridden one, one that immediately made her frown with concern.

She knows she has no right stepping into a stranger's business, but you aren't really a stranger to her. She can see your slightly disheveled St. Cassian uniform and she recognizes you from the choir so... doesn't that give her a bit of a reason to ask what's wrong? Constance quickly grabs a muffin and tells her parents she's gonna go on a quick break before walking over to your booth in the corner, much to your confusion. "Uhm, hey! I don't know if you remember, but I'm Constance Blackwood, we met in choir the other day. I just wanted to come over and ask if you were okay since you seem a little..., uh, down?"

Little did Constance know though that those few simple words would change things forever.

You tried your best to fend her off at the start, shakily explaining that you're fine and there was nothing to worry about, but her warm and caring words made it hard to keep pretending everything was fine... So, even if you still weren't sure about it, you decided to tell her what was wrong. You both ended up talking for hours, even past closing, as Constance comforted you and you ended up moving on to other topics to lighten up. Even if it was a surprising encounter to say the least, you're really glad Constance came over and asked if you were okay, it was nice to know someone cared...

Once it started getting late, she took you home just in case your bullies were still there, which they thankfully weren't, and you both parted ways for the night.

For the night.

Of course the bullying didn't magically stop after that, so you found yourself at the Blackwood Cafe more and more often. Eventually it even became an everyday thing. You truly did feel bad about this at the start since you didn't want to be a bother, but Constance always reassured you that you weren't and she enjoyed your company. She means that too, you are a lot easier to talk with compared to Ocean or Penny, and she finds herself always having a smile when she thinks of your conversations later that night.

Really, it wasn't surprising at all that you two would become friends with how often you spent time together, and Constance couldn't be happier about it. Even if the people in Uranium were awful, she was happy she could be friends with someone who wasn't. :)

Constance may not know every trick when dealing with anxiety, but she's a very good listener and will let you ramble as much as you need while being so incredibly supportive.

It doesn't matter how long you've been friends for, Constance quite literally trusts you with her life.

Sometimes when she is feeling a little silly, she'll invite you to her house in the middle of the night to do some late night baking. It's basically her therapy and why not share it with her new favorite person?

Her little brother is obsessed with you and Constance has zero clue why- Like, anytime you're over, he'll try to monopolize all your time and he is always asking about you. Constance doesn't know if she should be jealous of you or of him.

Constance tends to people watch, but she doesn't just watch anyone, she likes to watch you in particular... a lot.

Like, anytime you are around, a lot.

She also talks about you a ton, leading her parents or her friends to have to shut her up so she'll talk about something different- She's glad they do to, because's she sure she can talk about you for hours and she's not sure how deep and dark her thoughts on you can go...

She loves having you try on her glasses, she thinks it's so cute.

If Constance is ever the one feeling anxious, you'll likely be the first person she goes to in order to calm down. This is mainly because she knows you know how to deal with it but also because she finds your presence calming.

You're also welcome to do the same with her! It could quite literally be the dead of night, but if you need her, she'll be there for you.

They might be a little outdated, but Constance likes to make mixtapes for you with a bunch of songs that either remind her of you or songs she thinks you'll like. She might put a few ABBA songs in there too for good measure. :)

Falling in love (She noticed Ocean stealing you away from her and she got super jealous, where she soon realized her feelings.)

Constance gets that you are a busy person and that you can't be near her all the time, she really does, she understands that you have other friends to tend to that aren't just her.

So why is it that she feels so gross watching people like Ocean and Ricky steal you away from her? Why is it that she feels such an overwhelming urge to scream as Noel fixes your hair, or when Penny holds your hand, or when Mischa is constantly stealing your attention from her?? What is it that makes her so... so..., jealous?

She has no idea, she really doesn't. These are both of your friends she's talking about, she has no reason to be jealous of them! They all just want the best for you and you deserve to be loved and cared for. Yet, it's like she's walking on Legos every time you aren't paying attention to her.

These were the thoughts that plagued Constance's mind for days on end, even months. She wasn't sure why she was feeling this way, but god did she hate it. It was easy to see something was bothering her as well with how she would go straight into her room after school and pace around anxiously, her mind filled with thoughts no one can see. And truthfully, her parents were starting to get worried... This wasn't like their wonderful girl at all and they hated seeing her so conflicted.

So, being the one pair of decent parents in Uranium, they stop her on her way to her room one day and ask what's wrong. Constance was extremely reluctant to talk about it at first because, what do two adults who've been around much longer than she has know about jealousy? But they were pushy and she relented, telling them everything about the jealous and how she likes having your attention on her, getting it all out.

The laughing they did after that made Constance beyond frustrated-

Through tears in their eyes and the laughs, they had to explain what she was experiencing was likely a crush. That made everything click for Constance, who couldn't help stare at her floor in embarrassment and realization...

She loves you...

"Oh..."

Constance gets lowkey kind of nervous when she's around you now since she doesn't want her crush to be too obvious..., eventually the anxiety will melt and she can be herself around you, but for the first few minutes every time she sees you, she just feels so awkward.

She will be making sure you are well hydrated and fed, and you are gonna like it! She loves you too much to watch you waste away!!

Please let her have movie nights with you, she wants to watch all of your favorite movies and have you ramble about them to her. :'(

She loves squishing your cheeks.

She may or may not be stalking your social media so she can know what you are up to all the time....

Constance doesn't know if she should be grateful or not that her parents pointed out that she likes you because now her jealousy has basically tripled and it's only getting worse by the second. She wholeheartedly wants to just punt people whenever they interrupt her time with you.

You have bullies? Well not anymore, she is not letting anyone be disrespectful to you in or out of her presence. She always somehow finds out if someone is spouting nasty things about you and she will be doing something about it.

A/N: I'm struggling guys, I have no clue why it takes me so long to finish requests, but I swear I'm working on them! :'(

[uneducatedraccoon]

Calling on all you beautiful people, does anyone have any fic recs about an anxious reader for either touchstarved fandom or fourth wing? Your girl is feeling a little self indulgent but I'm coming empty handed 🥲

[blueberrysoaps]

Under Pressure

Bakugo x Reader

Synopsis: Being in your last year of UA is starting to stress you out and you’re faltering under the pressure of deciding on an agency, the rest of your life, and the kind of hero you even want to be. You make a dangerous mistake and freak out. Bakugo is there to help (in his own way)

No gender or pronouns specified.

Warnings/content: anxiety, cannon typical danger, cursing, comfort, some zest towards the end.

M.list

Taglist

Focusing became harder and harder by the day. You used to think you worked well under pressure, everyone else did too. With a confident smile and good attitude you could do just about anything. However, the stress of getting older, and deciding on the rest of your life, was gnawing at your heart and mind.

You have so many offers, and you’re getting decision paralysis. You can’t help but feel like your peers have everything figured out, while you’re lagging behind for the first time. You thought you were managing okay, that everyone felt like this and you needed to power through! It’s worked so far.

Then disaster struck. That chord full of tension in your chest broke.

It wasn’t unusual for third years to help Pros when they’re short staffed. It’s good for networking and getting real experience. You’ve done it a million times.

The villains quirk was powerful, but they weren’t very smart about using it. Their attacks of sending debris flying, weren’t accurate. Even if it causes some damage.

You were preoccupied with how many emails you had to read later. Thinking of all the things you needed to prepare before graduating. Resenting the change before you.

The villain sent a rock flying at the last support beam of a building, he was soon apprehended by the pro you were working with, but the damage was done.

And hundreds of tons of concrete was falling over you.

You freeze completely. You haven’t done that in years. You can’t hear the cracking, or the calls of your name, or even Bakugo’s explosions as he blasts towards you.

A sea of grey and dust. You were drowning in it.

In the last second he grabs you, arms wrapped firmly around you, protecting your head as you roll through falling debris.

The sound of your own quick shallow breaths drown out his voice for a few moments. You panic only increasing now that you realize what happened.

“Hey! Snap out of it!”

It only proved what you already knew. You weren’t ready to be a pro. You nearly got yourself, and my extension Bakugo killed. You’re a burden.

Something he always loved about you was your ease of mind, confidence, and trust in yourself and others. You were someone he didn’t have to worry about. He could count on you to take care of yourself, and even, rarely, he’d lean on you.

Now he saw you gasping, mortified. He was confused, even scared. Was there something going on? You seemed so far away, in shock. Maybe you hit your head or something earlier and he didn’t see. He thought he saved you, didn’t he?

You lay there shaking. Both of you covered in dust as he pulled himself up, holding the sides of your face. Looking you over. It was hard to tell if there was blood or not.

“You’re not hurt, are you? Answer me!”

“I- I’m sorry, just-!” You try and pull away.

Thanks to him you weren’t injured. Thanks to him you weren’t dead. And thanks to you he risked his life. All cause you were distracted. You knew one mistake could be deadly and still you made one. You’re such an amateur!

The sigh he let out shook him. No way were you leaving his sight now. Something was up, he should have realized earlier. He pulled you close. His hot breath on your ear.

“What the hell are you apologizing for?”

It was how you seemed so far lately. How you jumped at every opportunity without thinking. Hoping to please everyone. All. The. Damn. Time. Spread so thin till there was nothing left of the person he knew.

“I froze- it was so stupid.”

Yeah it was stupid. Bakugo thought.

“Cause you can’t accept help! Can’t even be fucking glad I saved your ass!”

All he could think about was how many ways he just lost you, and you can’t get out of your damn head.

“I’m sorry-“

“Stop apologizing!”

You looked at him with glossy eyes, lip pouting like you can’t accept a word he’s saying. How clear does he have to be? If one miss step can ruin you like this how can you succeed? He’s not having it. He knows you’re stronger than this.

“What kind of hero apologizes for every little thing?”

You scoffed. Little? This wasn’t little. This was a disaster it proved every fear you’ve ever had.

“Maybe I’m not supposed to be one then!”

Maybe he seemed like it before, but he wasn’t angry about you fumbling like that. Or even doubting yourself, for a minute he believed he wouldn’t reach you in time. But talking about quitting now really pissed him off.

“Don’t be ridiculous! You know how stupid that sounds? You’re the most capable person I’ve ever met!”

The little annoying prideful voice in the back of his head told him to add “besides me” but he punched it down. Cause it’s not even true. There’s no one like you.

“Then why can’t I do anything right?”

Nothing was more right in the entire fucking world than kicking villain ass with you.

“Yes you can, idiot. But you can’t do everything right. Even I know that.”

The heroes found you. Wanting to have you both checked for injuries but Bakugo barked them off. You were fine. You’d be fine at least. No point in crowding around like a band of pests.

It’ll be okay. You told yourself on the walk back. In the shower as the grime washed down the train. Your heavy heart grounding you in reality.

Bakugo doesn’t give out praise. Only facts.

The only thing to be sorry for is misunderstanding yourself so deeply, that you thought he’d lie about something like that. For believing no one could understand.

And even as he nags you about being more careful, as he patches up your cuts and scrapes, you grin so sincerely down at him, crouched down by your knee as you sat on his perfectly made bed.

“Just like you to stand right under a falling fucking building.” He grumbles, dabbing the wound with a cotton pad. “Not even the first fucking time.”

“Thank you.”

He gazes up through his eyelashes, with a scowl.

Ba-dum.

“Did you seriously think I’d let you get crushed? Shut up.” He glanced back down, red cheeked and stiff.

“No you shut up.” You bounce your knee to grab his attention again.

You feel so much lighter, achy and sore, knowing you’ve done all you can for now. Exhaustion was a comfort. Spentness means the day is over. You can breathe.

He glares as he holds your leg down by your thigh. He wasn’t sure if you were actually good or not. Which smiles were faked. What joke was at your own expense.

“Shut the hell up and sit still before I make you.”

Da-bum

“Don’t tell me what to do.” You tilt your head down with a challenge look. Bouncing your leg again.

There you are.

He laughed. Clear like a spring stream.

You were good.

I mean for now.

Before he got his hands on you.

[arklaytears]

Confident When I’m With You [Pt.1?] (Joel x F! Anxious/Shy! Reader)

t/w: anxiety attacks, ptsd flashbacks, mentions of being sold, drinking, mean! joel

a/n: this has taken me a couple days to write, and i’m too anxious to fully read over it again.  i want to try a slowburn something and really wanted to see an anxious reader with joel.  building a relationship off of that.  please please please tell me what you think, i hope you like it and yeah!-

·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

  When the apocalypse started, you were nothing but 5 years old.  Barely able to remember anything aside from the fear and panic in your family’s eyes as they did their best to flee from the all too fucked up situation.

Vividly you remember your mother speaking to you, her hands wrapped tightly around yours as she spoke,

“Hey, you don’t need to be scared.  I promise.” 

Though you can still feel just how much her hands were shaking as she helped to buckle you into your neighbor's car. 

The blood on her hands, even more spurting violently from her neck, you could still feel it when you laid in bed and let your mind wander.  The streak she’d left on your cheek as she leaned in for one final kiss to your forehead, before she shut the door to the truck, your final goodbye.

The last vision was of you pulling out with your neighbors, looking out the window the best you could to see the woman you had been raised all alone by.  Tears streamed down her face as she collapsed to the ground, her wails heard even through the closed window.  Your neighbors quickly peel away, and drive to where you were to reside for the next 20 years.

Before you could reminisce any further, you felt your hands tangled in your sheets.  Knuckles white as you hold them as tightly as you could.  Your breathing was uneven, and when you did your best to look at your watch in the minimal light coming in through your window, you realized you’d only slept for 20 minutes.

A new record, at least as of late.

Sleep had not been kind to you in all the time since you’d made it to the Boston QZ.  After being abandoned by the

‘neighbors’

you held your trust in for the last two decades, you had to find somewhere to go.  The closest being Boston.

Luckily, through the process, though no one was kind to you upon your arrival, you were able to get a bed and find some sort of peace under FEDRA rule.

You’d only been there a few days, and each day you found it harder and harder to get any sleep.  So, knowing that you would be up in your bed once again until it was time to rise and shine, you decided to be a little productive in caring for your new living space, getting in a bit of cleaning.

·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥

Then the sun rose, coloring the sky in soft orange as it rose over the buildings of the QZ.  Though you didn’t have much left, you moved to your kitchen to grab the coffee that you had brewed yourself.  Beans you were able to find on scavenging trips, that you'd had hidden away for months.  Hiding things being much more difficult when it came to the family you were living with before.

Now definitely being the time you needed them most.  But, you’d already been dressed, and wanted to explore and see possibly what sort of jobs you’d be able to get starting the next day.

Grabbing for your key to your apartment, you head out.  Locking the door quickly behind you.

Looking down to your hands, you could see they were definitely shaking.  You gulped the best you could, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself before you made your way out of the building.

It was just a FEDRA establishment, just people surviving just like you were.. That’s all it was.  No need to panic.  Please, no more panicking.

·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥

The day found itself uneventful, as you’d been rejected for all jobs except for being told to help with gardening.  One of the jobs that paid the least, but the man had refused every other job that he spoke of.  Maybe it was for a lack of trust, or maybe that was all you looked capable of.

Holding the small piece of paper in your hand, you crushed it slightly under the weight of your fist.  You needed to get money, to be able to survive here.  Yet, it didn’t seem like it was going to be all that easy.

Walking back, you shoved your hands into your jeans pockets, kicking along a small pebble before you’d heard the murmuring of a crowd.  Looking up, you saw a large group gathered around what seemed to be a public display of shame.

You approached cautiously, but found your stomach turning in upset at the sight above you.  Three humans standing on a large wooden lift, each with a noose respectively in front of them.  A woman dressed in all black military gear, speaking through what looked to be a walkie connected to a speaker behind her.

Lurching forward, you wrapped your arms around yourself, that all too familiar of an anxiety rising up in your throat.  Like tears were threatening to fall, and acid was rising through your esophagus.  Your breathing felt more labored, and you had to look away.  The idea of how big of a crowd was here to watch, like this was some sort of entertaining sport made your skin crawl.

As you looked to the side, you saw a man with his back to you as he began walking toward the side street.  Following his path with your eyes, you saw him approaching another FEDRA agent, this one having his gaze set on the stranger you’d just seen. Giving him a seemingly knowing nod to his left.  Following the motion, you saw it led to a dingy looking walkway.

After they’d disappeared from sight, you contemplated.  What the fuck were those two up to?  A civilian going to a back alley deal with a FEDRA agent? 

The woman on her speaker spoke again, speaking of more of the crimes those lined up had committed against the dictatorship that was this new post-apocalypse government.

Fuck this.

In that moment, you decided to follow the stranger quietly, pushing through the crowd as gently as you could to catch up to the two.  Anything was better than knowing you were going to see three human beings be executed for an audience.

Doing your best, you followed the man from a distance once you’d caught up.  Though, as he moved down a gravel path, you took a moment in trying to figure out how to follow quietly. 

Taking a breath, you took a few steps along, being sure to keep holding back and allowing the two to do what they needed to do.  Or maybe this stranger was in trouble?  You didn’t really know, but you followed along the grating of the fence, until you could peek through it and see the two men in front of this green door that was kept away in its own little nook. 

Crouching down as you noticed the man from FEDRA taking one last peek around before digging in his pocket for a stack of… something.  It looked to be like money, handing it to the stranger in his blue-button up and tousled salt and pepper hair.  Though you couldn’t see much of the man you’d followed, the guard looked less than pleased.

What the fuck could this even be?  Some sort of sex thing?  Fuck, if it was anything like that you would have to get the hell out of there.

But, no sooner than you’d had the thought, you saw him being handed a small white pill.  Dropped into his hand, as he looked over it, saying something while he did.  Quickly he pulled it up to his tongue, getting a small taste of it.  Surely to check if it was real, before he nodded to the other, and was handed a bag filled with more of those little capsules.

Wait fuck, this man was able to get pills?  From where?  And, from whom?

Holding your position, you kept peeking above the patch of overgrown grass that hid your body behind it.  Seeing him pour the tablets into his pocket before handing the bag back to the civilian.

Shit, would he be able to get you something like that?  Not even much, just something to let you be able to sleep.  Just one peaceful night was all that you asked. 

The two’s exchange continued, them talking about something that you were completely out of earshot for.  Yet, as the guard pushed himself off from the wall, you knew it was your time to get out of there.  The two seemed to have made their peace with the deal and wanted to get back to their day.

You stood up, being sure you couldn’t see the two before you had fully risen to your feet, and moved back to where the crowd was slowly dispersing.  Averting your eyes from what you knew was hanging on your right. 

Moving forward, you moved to the phone pole that the guard seemed to be leaning against before meeting up for his deal.  Clutching it in your grip slightly as you take another steadying breath.  Maybe that man would even be able to give you medication to stop these attacks from overcoming every small aspect of your life.

“Hey.”

Your heart felt like it had leapt from your chest, and you jumped quickly into the air before turning to meet whomever was speaking to you.

The stranger.

Here you were, face to face with the man you’d followed to something you definitely didn’t need to be a witness to.  His arms were crossed over his broad chest, his chestnut eyes looking as though they would pierce a hole right through you, and his left eyebrow cocked up in a quizzical way.

“H-”

He cut you off, his voice low and gruff.  Commanding as he spoke,

“What the fuck were you doing watching me?  And, who the fuck do you think you are?”

The man had taken a step forward, using his commandeering demeanor to back you further up into the phone pole.  You gulped hard, visibly so.  Which definitely was not unnoticed by the unwavering man.

“I-I-”

Would he kill you?  Was it really something that important that you weren’t meant to see?  Fuck, your heart was pounding so hard you could hear it in your ears, and it droned out a lot of the background noise of passersby and city ambience.

“Spit it out kid.”

Your stuttering had to be on his nerves.  He looked as if he wanted to kill you, and was doing so with his gaze alone. 

You balled your hands into fists, knowing they were trembling as you took a second to try and collect your thoughts.  Speaking them out much faster than you anticipated.

“I’mreallysorry… Iwaswonderingifyouweresellingothersortsofthings…”

Your words jumbled together, and you hang your head.  Your face lighting up a bright red, knowing just how foolish and childish you looked.

His gaze was locked onto you.  You knew because you could feel it.

It was much easier to talk when your eyes weren’t locked with his own, and you let your eyes wander over your beat up sneakers as you spoke softly.

“I was wondering if you sell things like that to other people.. Like, pills?”

You said it almost as a question to yourself.  Maybe it was just some deal this guy had with FEDRA and you were completely overstepping.  Which, you already had overstepped by just following someone you had never met before. 

A long silence wedged itself between you two, and you decided to break it by continuing.

“I mean like.. Sleeping pills.  Pills that make.. Nerves go away.”

As soon as you added that, you heard a gruff chuckle and immediately looked back up.

The smallest of smirks had grown along his face, and his eyes crinkled as he closed them.  Though this gave you an opportunity to look him over. 

And holy shit, was this man

gorgeous.

Definitely much older than you, just by the looks of him.  His confidence in his own stance is almost palpable. 

Yet you continued to look for the small moment that you had. 

His defined eyebrows that knotted together, having a permanent indent between them, (from scowling you would assume.)  Yet, they were knotted together in his small amusement.  A small dimple that you could slightly see with his crooked grin, holding itself on his right cheek.  His large hand moved up to his lips, covering them from view but letting your eyes wander along his beard that matched his graying hairs. Seeing small bits of patches where the hair seemed to refuse to grow.

But, quickly you were torn away as those threatening umber colored eyes caught you looking at him a little too intensely.  Which very quickly had you looking toward one of the abandoned buildings that still lined this street.  That familiar heat rising to your face as you definitely made yourself seem even more embarrassing in front of this stranger.

“That’s it?”

He spoke, almost matter-of-factly, and you nodded quickly.  Still unable to meet your gaze with his own again.

“Yeah, but it’s gonna cost quite a bit of cards, seein’ as I don’t know you.”

  The man definitely had a bit of an accent, something southern you would assume.

Fuck though, you didn’t even think about the fact that you literally watched that officer pay for the drugs he had bought.  Yet, you didn’t even have your first shift until the next day.  And, that shift didn’t even leave you enough to probably get through the week without begging that man to give you more than just gardening.

Chewing at your cheek, you let out a deflating breath. 

“Shit..”

You muttered, though you didn’t realize it was audible to the older man.

“There’s no way you would think that in the end of the world, you could get away with favors and I-O-Us from strangers did you?”

He was blunt, and even a tad rude.  Surely you were just some ignorant child to him.  You were probably wasting his time from other things he had to do, but you couldn’t back down.  If you went another night without sleep, you felt as though you would implode.

“I just got here and..”

Again you were interrupted,

“I don’t care about any of that.  I need payment for anything that I give you.”

Tears were pulling at your eyes, and you did your best to blink them away as your head tilted back to the ground to stare at your feet. 

‘Do not cry in front of this man, please.’

“Is.. There anything other than cards that I can trade you…?”

He backed up a bit, though you didn’t feel that piercing gaze on the back of your head as you kept looking down.  Thankfully.

“What do you have that you think is worth a trade?”

Fucking nothing.  You came with what little you had from your abandonment, clothes, toiletries, some cans of food.. Your thoughts trailed, but then it hit you how much of a commodity that something you owned was.  AT least it was when you were foraging.  

“Coffee.”

  You spoke plainly, feeling the tears halt in your eyes, though they were most definitely glossed over.  But, you cocked your head up, enough that you could take a peek to see if the cogs were turning in this guy’s head.

Which, they definitely looked as though they were.  You had to have been right or he would have scoffed you away.  The man was gently scratching along his peppered facial hair, clicking his tongue before speaking once more.

“Fuck, if that’s true, then yeah I can make a trade.  Just bring over what you’re willing to give.”

It felt as though karma was finally on your good side, and an audible sigh of relief left your throat. 

The man reached into his pocket, grabbing a small piece of paper and a pen and writing down something on it.

“Meet there later tonight, I have some errands to run.”

Folding it in half, he placed it between his index and middle finger, extending his hand to give it to you.  Yet, no sooner as you had it in your grip and were opening it to read, he’d left without even a farewell.

You looked at the small white note, and on it read;

‘Joel’

With an address scribbled below it.  An apartment building you’d thought you’d seen near your own, but you might have to do a bit of searching. 

But, finally, you’re going to get some fucking sleep.

·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥·̩̩̥＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥

The day went by as normal.  A whole lot of nothing as you found yourself shacked up in your apartment, re-reading a book you’ve already read a handful of times.  Hopefully when you were more independent, you could trade some cards for something else.  Hell, you’d rather read a dictionary than this fucking book again.

But, as you were noticing the sun begin to set, you pushed yourself from your raggedy couch and moved to the kitchen.  Opening your cabinet, you pulled out the quite large bag you’d had stored of your coffee beans, deciding to take the entirety with you as you didn’t want to have to walk back to grab more should it not be enough.

You clutched the bag tightly, pulling it to your chest as a bit of that anxiety was swelling its way up your chest.  Slowly filling your throat with a burning sensation, as you realized you were going to this random man’s house, trading for pills.  Someone, somewhere, you didn’t know, you’d never been..

It was going to be a long fucking exchange.

You were right about his apartment building being familiar, as you found it really was right across the street from your own.  A hop away and you’d be at the front of his building.  It looked about the same as yours, just a different color on the outside, and you found yourself frozen outside the front door for a moment, looking up at the sheer height of it.  Dizziness working its way to the forefront as that panic continued to build itself inside of you.

But, you needed these pills.  You had to do it.

‘Bite the bullet.’

You thought to yourself over and over, moving to grip the cool metal of the entry door allowing yourself inside.

Following up a couple flights of stairs, the inside of the building looked completely worn down.  A pink carpet stained with age leads you through the halls.  Random pieces of furniture and debris scattered and lining the walls in each area you walked in.  It definitely wasn’t something you weren’t used to, as people seemed more concerned in making their living quarters a home, and not so much the entryway for others.

You take out the small scribbled note from your pocket, looking over it again as you look at the small scribble he had drawn on it.  A weird little shape with an arrow coming off of it that said, ‘This door.’;

Which was definitely not easy instruction, but as you walked the halls, you saw most of the doors had enough wear and tear that most of them just had chips in the wood as their symbol of entry.  A couple still held their shiny golden numbers, but most seemed to have fallen off or just completely vanished.

So you kept going, walking as far as you could until you’d moved up three floors and finally found the small symbol at the front of a door.  If you looked at it with maybe squinted eyes, it looked a little like a brachiosaurus.  So, that’s how you would decide to remember it should you need to come back.

Holding the beans closer to yourself, you took in a deep breath.  Your free hand hovering itself in front of the wood of the door, trembling as you did.  Your wrist was shaking violently, and you felt hot tears swelling their way up your ducts and holding them behind your eyes.  Taking a moment to blink them away.

Sucking your lower lip into your mouth, you took one last deep inhale before gently tapping the back of your knuckles to Joel’s door. 

Fuck you really hoped you read his note right, because if anyone else were to answer you would be running with your tail between your legs.

Silence followed.  You had taken a step back to allow the man room for him to open the door.  Yet, no answer came.

Was it the wrong room? 

You took out the small piece of paper again, looking at the symbol and back to the door, confident that it had to be it.  Or you were a terrible artistic interpreter.

Fear continued to bubble in your lower abdomen, especially as another stranger began making their way to their room down the hall.  Of course not without taking a look at this new face knocking on his neighbors door.  Cocking a brow at you before he ducked out of the hallway and into his own dwelling.

Knock again..

You had to, you could not fucking go another night without sleep.  It would kill you at this rate.  You took a step forward, once again having your shaky hand move up to the wood, this time knocking a bit harder. 

Fuck, your heart was pounding so hard in your chest you could feel it in your fingertips.  Like your heartbeat was surrounding your entire being in itself, and it’s all you could think about.

So when your next knock came, they were completely desperate.  Slamming against the wood, knowing you would run off this time if he didn’t answer.

Yet, as soon as you found yourself about to turn off on your heel, the door waS swung open with complete aggression and the older man stood there, using the weight of the wood to hold himself up.  His eyebrows were drawn together in annoyance, and he looked over you in confusion.

“Fuck do you want?”

His voice was gruff, lower than you’d heard earlier.  A drawl working its way through him as he wobbled slightly.  Had he been asleep?  There’s no way this man has already forgotten who you are.

“We were going to-”

He cut you off, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, opening the door wider for you to come in. 

“Just get in, I need to sit the fuck down.”

Definitely not a welcoming atmosphere, but you decided to walk past him the best that you could.  And almost as soon as you walked in, you could smell the booze lingering off of him.  A heavy smell of whiskey, and the smell was followed by a messy table right in front of you, littered with maps, papers, and alcohol bottles.  Two almost completely empty as they sat atop the disarray.

Not your place to judge, but the idea of being around someone drunk always puts you on high alert.  You’d had enough experiences, very bad, when your neighbor would drink.  So, you hold yourself a little taller, evening out your posture.  Doing your best to not look as fragile as you most definitely were.

You clasped your hands together in front of you, leaning back on the balls of your feet awaiting him.

The slam of the door made you jump, but he just groaned out as it seemed to piss him off even more as he walked past you.  Right into the small living room.  Giving little to no regard as his shoulders hit yours, moving past to plop himself down onto the worn plush of the couch.

You gulped hard, looking around at the stained and dated wallpaper that lined the entirety of the apartment, around at small little pieces that made the space seem lived in.  Hospitable.  Definitely more than what you currently had at your abode.

Joel had grunted again, leaning his head back onto the dark green of the couch, his head resting next to a small seemingly hand knitted blanket.  His eyes were not even looking over at you, and you were sure it was because of the alcohol.  He seemed far away.  Of course physically, but his brain didn’t seem to be wired correctly at the moment, with how he allowed himself to close his eyes.

“So…”

You decided to break the silence that washed over the room, placing the coffee beans you’d brought on his cluttered table.  Careful not to make too much noise, treading lightly.  Like you were with a sleeping bear.

“Fuck that’s who you are.  The one spyin’ on me earlier.”

  His eyes were still closed, his hand moving up to shield his eyes from the sunset that was making its way through his windows to his right.

“Y-Yeah..”

You stuttered, still not really having any ground to stand on as you began to rock yourself back and forth.  Still holding your head high as you straightened out your back, not wanting to let on just how scared you were.

Joel let out a small laugh.  One you could see peeking under his arm as you kept your gaze solely on him.

“So, you wanted to trade me after spyin’ on my other deals.  Thinkin’ now I should be all up’n kind to you?  Is that it?”

Was this just how he was?  Your voice caught in your throat.  Still keeping your eyes locked to his spot on the couch.  Taking a breath as you were going to respond, he cut you off.

“A fuckin’ new kid in town stickin’ her nose where it don’t belong, is that right?  Now here I am, tradin’ her some pills for fuckin’ coffee?”

It sounded like he was talking to himself.  But, you couldn’t help but feel your throat become a little tighter, jolting even as he moved to be sitting up.  Elbows resting on his knees, his piercing brown eyes staring right through you.

You shook your head, because really what else was there to do in this scenario.  It was made blatantly clear that you were the idiot in the wrong.

“S-Sorry… I just can’t sleep-”

Again he let out a chuckle, this one a bit louder, more spiteful.

“Kid, you’re so lucky I’m not some of the other folks around here.  They woulda followed you home, and murdered you under blanket’a night.  No one would bat a fuckin’ eye.”

This felt like he was threatening you, and you felt yourself back up even though he didn’t move at all.  You leaned your weight onto the messy table, using your hands to hold yourself up as you knew if you kept them in front of you he would see the shaking.

You gulped, nodding this time.  Keeping it slow as your eyes stay locked.

“Even worse, they wouldn’ta just killed you.  They woulda sold you.  For cards.  To whoever was the highest bidder.  Your life would be nothin’ more than the use some rich fucker has for you.”

Silence hung heavy in the air.  Nothing breaking it as Joel had finally looked away from you. 

Surely in his own head he had to think he was doing something out of the kindness of his heart.  To warn you of who else was out there, but to you.. That meant nothing.  Your eyes began to swell with tears, and silently they began to fall down your cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m just a stupid kid.  Sorry for coming.”

Your voice was laced with venom and pain, and your tears continued to slowly slip down your cheeks and to the floor below you.

At that moment Joel seemed to have seen you.  Finally seeing what he’d done, through his drunken haze.

The man leaned back a little, his arm resting over the back of the couch loosely, one hand moving to rest on his inner thigh.  He looked smug, almost pleased with himself, until your voice broke.

“Just fucking keep-”

You couldn’t even talk, your mind felt as though you were that little girl again.  Memories swelling in your brain as you felt as though you were sinking in quicksand, nausea working its way up through your body.

Your breathing became ragged.  Those silent tears turned into hyperventilation, and you found yourself pushing off the table the best you could.

What a fucking embarrassing sight.

You could see only your past, flashing in colors and moments behind your eyes.  Feelings rising to your skin that made your hyperventilation quickly turn to wheezing. 

All of it was catching up to you, all at once.

You looked up to the man, the one you were supposed to be here to trade with, and you saw he had stopped that smug attitude.  His brows furrowed in what you were more than likely just perceiving as concern, but he probably was more annoyed that you were wasting more of his time.

Almost as soon as you saw him, you were back in the eyes of your childhood once again.  Blinking up to a man you thought you could trust, reaching his hand down to you.

A scream escaped you, filling the small apartment as you began to scream in begs

“Please don’t!  Please, please!  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!” 

Your heart felt like it was going to explode,and as your screams continued quickly everything around you was swirling in black.The last thing you remember is the sound of your body fully hitting the floor, and the sound of your own ragged breaths.

[self-indulgent-devils]

So since I have 0 social skills. I am now having a LOT of ideas for x shy!reader stuff hahahahaha. Not just like shy. But someone that cannot handle social situations. Anxiety, fear of people, can barely speak during them. Trembles. Mostly thinking of Valentino, but thinking of Crimson and Adam and Mammon and Buckzo too as my main five shitty comfort characters and I love it. Gonna have to make drabbles of some of em. Writing this down now.

[thequietkid-moonie]

So sorry to ask👏👏 I know you already did something kinda similar to this but could you do an Assassination Classroom x Reader with a reader who has anxiety or generalized anxiety. I really like your writing and I think you would portray it really well

Class 3-E with a classmate with an anxiety disorder

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Class 3-E ]

[ Assassination Classroom / Ansatsu Kyoshitsu ]

Of course dear ~ don't worry, is completely fine! I know I already wrote for reader with anxiety but not with Class 3-E so is completely fine!

I actually have a anxiety disorder so this is kinda comforting ❤️ thanks for requesting this anon!!

Maybe this isn't my best writing but I tried my best, sorry

When Koro-sensei started to be the teacher of Class 3-E he decided to be the best teacher he can be, that is why he pays close attention and plans to have a good relationship with every single of them, try to befriend them without forgeting his role as the teacher

Koro-sensei is incredibly smart and observant (and he is proud of it) so it won't take him long for him to realice how nervous (or anxious) you tent to get sometimes, even if you don't show it much he will find out soon or later. At first Koro-sensei doesn't think much of it because all of you are teenagers and are under a lot of pressure for the school system, and not just that but you are in your third year of high school it would normal for anyone in this situation to feel anxious, but as the time pass he notice more and more hints that you feel anxious even in what could be consider normal situation

This truly worry him but before trying to talk to you about this topic he does a deeper research of the topic, wanting to make sure to know all he need before confronting you. When he does aproach to you to talk about this topic he, first of all, ask you how do you feel and what exactly makes you nervous, after confirming that what you feel is anxiety he ask you if you already are seen a profesional for help or not

Koro-sensei clarify that there is nothing bad about having a anxiety disorder (it could be generated while trying to protect yourself from something), is actually pretty common (sadly) and is completely natural for people to feel anxiety in situation that make people feel stress or even in danger, however with a anxiety disorder is something deeper but you can learn how to handle it

Koro-sensei will prepare an specially class to talk about anxiety, not just to help you indirectly but also to help everyone to learn to calm themselfs since in this assassin class all of you will face diferent situations that could bring a feeling of anxiety, and if you learn to handle that you can handle everything outside the school. He goes from explaining the feeling to completely explain the disorder and the anxiety attacks, as well to teach different techniques that help you calm down during one, breath and calm down is the key to handle anxiety!

You can open up to them about having an anxiety disorder or not, in any case they (specially your closer friends) will find out on their own, or at least notice when you are feeling anxious and are always willing to help you (at least to guide you through the technique to be able to calm down and focus)

Some of your classmates, like Kurahashi, Maehara and Fuwa, tries to help you with it in a more joking way, using jokes to help you distract, while others, like Hara, Kataoka and Isogai, are more direct and try to help you calm down

In the other hand some of them tries to help you but start panicing a little if they see you in a anxious state, like Okuda, Kimura or Sugaya, while there are others that say in a no so joking way that you have nothing to worry since they are the real danger (like Karma, Nakamura or Hazama)

[hunterwritesstuff]

hello I hope you’re having a good day!

I absolutely love how you write mark !! if it’s okay, may I request a hurt/comfort of mark and the reader (gender neutral)? the scenario can be the reader feeling super overwhelmed and anxious and mark just being the comfy guy he is :)

you can write it as hcs or as story whichever is best for you!

Of course I can! I love writing comfort with Mark, so I'm glad people enjoy reading it! :D Projected a bit with the way the anxiety is depicted here, just a heads up! Gonna go with a story for this one, hope ya enjoy!

You groaned, squeezing yourself into a corner. Everything was too loud, everything was too much, too much, too much, too much, too much, too much, too much, TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH, ALL OF THEIR EYES WERE ON YOU, TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH, TOO-

"Hey, dude, y'alright?" You jumped slightly, but quickly felt relief as you recognized the voice.

You groaned, curling in on yourself tighter, breathily muttering to yourself. "tell an authority figure about your encounter, hinder the alternate's movement, identify the class type, neutralize the alternate if safe to do so, know your place in reality..." you breathily repeated to yourself.

You jumped as a warm hand found its way to your shoulder, but then you remembered. It was just Mark. "Hey, buddy, it's okay. Just breathe. You're safe as long as you're with me, alright?"

You shook your head no, holding your head tightly, as if that would help still your anxiety. "tell an authority figure about your encounter, hinder the alternate's movement, identify the class type, neutralize the alternate if safe to do so, know your place in reality..." you told yourself again.

"Jeez, you're...a really big mess, huh?" Mark chuckled dryly. You rocked yourself back and forth to attempt to soothe yourself, but it wasn't working.

"tell an authority figure about your encounter, hinder the alternate's movement, identify the class type..." you shuddered.

"Hey, hey, hey, breathe, you're okay, you're okay." Mark hushed.

"I-Identify...th-the..." You shuddered again, shaking slightly.

Mark pulled you into a hug, your body wracking with barely hidden sobs, Mark hushing you softly, rocking the both of you together.

"I...Ident...." You started, Mark hushing you again.

"Nobody's looking, it's okay...nobody's watching you...you can breathe...if you need to cry, you can cry...I won't judge..."

You sat there comfortably in his arms, sobbing out the anxiety. You tried apologizing for getting his hoodie wet, but he shushed you, shutting down the apology immediately.

After a while, you calmed down, and all Mark had to say was "I'm proud of you for making it through, buddy."

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

the problem with having a book out the same day as the US elections is that it's like..... hey, so, i see you're struggling through the unending horrors. can i offer you some nice sword lesbians in these trying times? 😬

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

whenever he sends any type of late night message he deems 'too mushy', katsuki turns his phone off immediately after hitting send, slams it face down onto whatever surface he can find and goes to sleep because he's too embarrassed to see your response.

[sematarygirls]

        BOYFRIEND!RAFE x ANXIOUS!READER

WARNINGS .ᐟ protected p in v, oral (f! receiving), established relationship, loss of virginity, reader and rafe being dorks, slow sex, these bitches do not shut up, reader is very insecure about her body and of course, has anxiety

NOTES .ᐟ this is representation for all my anxious and insecure girlies who giggle and blurt out random stuff when they're nervous (aka me)

You and Rafe were both on his bed making out, him laying underneath you as you straddled his waist—his idea, of course, citing that it would be more comfortable for both of you that way. "You better just have something in your pocket," you jokingly mumbled against his lips, feeling something distinctly hard and suspiciously close to his dick pressing against you.

You had a tendency to make a lot of dumb jokes and laugh when you were nervous, blurting out whatever came to mind before you could decide against it, which was ironic since overthinking was a second nature to you. You were shy and got nervous a lot, especially around Rafe. He was your first boyfriend and the hottest guy you'd ever laid your eyes on, neither of which helping your nerves.

Rafe's hands slipped under your shirt to touch your bare skin, holding you firmly on his lap. "Wouldn't you like to know," his smirk was teasing as he pulled back from the kiss to peer up at you.

"Uh, yeah, that's kind of the whole point of asking," you also pulled back, sitting up as you smiled down at him. You liked it when Rafe went along with your stupid jokes, bantering with you to put you at ease. He never made you feel weird or awkward for using humor to cope with your anxiety.

"Well, if you must know, I'm packing heat," Rafe quipped with a mischievous grin, his grip on your hips tightening.

You gasped exageratedly, feigning shock. "You have a gun?" You knew very well what he meant, but when did that ever stop you from saying something stupid?

He snorted, his blue eyes shining with amusement. "Yeah, I have a gun in my pants because that makes so much sense," he replied sarcastically, finding your nervous humor endearing.

"Okay, Mr. Sassypants," you rolled your eyes playfully, your palms resting on his chest as a smile pulled at your lips.

"Mr. Sassypants?" Rafe repeated, raising an eyebrow. "You know, that's not a very nice thing to call your loving, patient, and amazingly sexy boyfriend."

"Well, I can't help that my loving, patient, and amazingly sexy boyfriend is such a diva," you grinned, feeling his chest rise and fall, his heart beating steadily under your fingertips.

"Diva?" He gasped in mock offense, his hands sliding up your sides. "I'll show you a diva." In one swift motion, he flipped your positions, pinning you beneath him.

You laughed, looking up at him with a smile despite the anxiety gnawing at you. He had a way of putting your mind at ease with just one look, and the soothing circles he was rubbing on your skin were definitely helping. He stared back at you, his gaze softening. He loved your smile and the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed. Truthfully, he loved everything about you, even your innate ability to make everything a tad bit awkward.

His eyes searched yours intently, searching for any signs that you wanted him to stop. Noticing his serious turn of demeanor and his intense gaze, you felt your cheeks heat up. "Oh, cmon, don't get all serious on me now," you rolled your eyes, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, I take my role as your boyfriend very seriously," he grinned, leaning down to kiss your neck. "And, it wouldn't be very boyfriendly of me to let you go on without knowing the wonders of sex."

"Oh, right, of course, it would be for my benefit," you giggled, your heart racing at the idea of being intimate with him. You weren't exactly against the idea, but you were still a virgin, and the idea of being with someone like that was undoubtedly nerve-racking.

You could feel Rafe smile against your skin, his hands sliding farther up your sides. "Uh huh, always thinking of what's best for my girl."

"Wow, who knew you were so selfless?" You giggled, biting your lip as he nipped as your skin. Your fingers slotted into his hair as he continued to kiss and suck at your neck, his hot breath fanning against your heated skin.

"I'm a saint, what can I say?" He mumbled, his tone teasing. He was being careful, trying to reassure you without actually saying anything because he knew you'd prefer to keep things as lighthearted as possible to make you forget about how serious the moment actually was. He could tell you were nervous, and he was determined to make you as comfortable as possible.

"Uh huh, a saint," you smiled as he slowly, tentatively pushed your shirt up your body. He was giving you time to tell him to stop, maybe even slap him if you wanted to, but you didn't. As much as you felt like you were going to die on the spot at the idea of him seeing you naked, you trusted him, and you wanted this.

"I am but a humble servant of my sexy girlfriend," he pulled back from your neck to search your eyes again, pausing for a moment before your shirt revealed your bra. You gave him a small nod, and he smiled, tugging the shirt over your head as you leaned up a little and lifted your arms to help him. He threw the shirt aside, eyes roaming your skin, as if memorizing every detail. "God, you're beautiful," he breathed out.

"Shut up," you said bashfully, your heart beating faster under his intense gaze. There was a voice in the back of your head telling you that you weren't pretty enough for him, that he would hate how you looked, and that was why you preferred to fill the silence with easy jokes and stupid quips. It made it easier to silence that nagging part of you that thought you weren't good enough for him.

"No, I mean it," he insisted, his fingers slowly tracing the lace edging of your bra. "You're like, way too pretty to be real. I mean, look at you." There was a sincerity to his words that he couldn't fake, an edge of awe and pure unbridled devotion that made your head spin.

The way he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, the way he touched you like he worshipped every inch of you—it was all overwhelming in the best possible way. It had you scrambling in your mind to say something, anything, even if that something was a dumb dick joke.

"I bet you're thinking about saying something stupid, aren't you?" he asked, a knowing smirk on his face as he leaned down to pepper kisses over your collarbones and down the swell of your cleavage.

"I never say anything stupid," you breathed out, as he kissed the skin that wasn't hidden behind your bra. It made your heart flutter that he knew you so well, but it also made you realize how awfully predictable you were.

"Uh huh and I'm the Queen of England," he retorted sarcastically, reaching up to slide one of your bra straps down your shoulder, kissing the bare sliver of skin that was revealed.

"Oh my God, you are?" You gasped, his remark loading you with the perfect ammunition to say something stupid. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, your highness."

"Mmm, flattery will get you everywhere," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin as he continued to kiss and touch you, slipping your other strap off. He slowly unhooked your bra, his eyes meeting yours as he paused, asking for silent permission. You bit the inside of your cheek nervously before nodding.

He pulled your bra off almost instantly, his gaze sweeping over your bare chest. You felt so vulnerable beneath his gaze, resisting the urge to cover yourself. "Okay, your turn, pretty boy," you swiftly said, trying to ease your nerves and figuring you might be a little more comfortable if you weren't the only half-naked one.

"Yes, ma'am," He smirked, leaning back to pull his own shirt off, revealing his muscular chest. You couldn't help but stare, eyes roaming over his abs and the way his muscles flexed as he tossed his shirt aside. He settled back over you, his hands sliding up your sides. "Better?"

"You are annoyingly hot," you huffed, finding it completely unfair that someone as perfect as him could even exist, let alone be on top of you right now.

"Aw, you're just saying that because you want in my pants," he teased, his hands sliding up your sides to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples. "But I can't blame you, I am pretty irresistible." He leaned down, swallowing the small gasp you let out at his touch as he captured your mouth in a deep, heated kiss.

"That's slander," you mumbled into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck and curling your fingers into his hair as you pulled him closer.

"Mmm, then sue me," he murmured against your lips before trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck, slowly making his way to your chest.

Your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his soft lips on your skin. He was ridiculously skilled with his mouth, knowing exactly how and where to kiss you to drive you crazy. "Yknow what, maybe I will," you retorted breathlessly, your chest rising and falling a little faster.

"I think we can come to some sort of settlement out of court," He paused, his hot breath washing over your skin before he slowly, deliberately wrapped his lips around one of your peaks, swirling his tongue around it. "What do you think?"

Your lips parted at the feeling, intaking a sharp breath of air. "Uh, yeah, yknow that could work maybe," you grinned, your fingers gently tugging at his hair as he ravished your tits with attention.

"Mmm, I thought it might," he hummed with a cocky grin, switching to give equal attention to your other breast, your back arching ever so slightly, urging him closer. He smirked against your skin, making his way lower and leaving a trail of wet kisses in his wake. His hands slid down your sides to your hips, fingers curling around the waistband of your pants.

"Hey, wait, I don't want to be naked first," you protested, only half joking. You would rather die than be fully naked in front of him while he sits there with his clothes on.

"Oh, trust me, I have no intention of leaving my pants on any longer than necessary," He assured you with a mischievous grin, slowly unbuttoning your jeans, his knuckles brushing against your skin.

"Yeah, 'cause you're a freak," you grinned, moving on to the making fun of your boyfriend portion of the program in an attempt to soothe the pit of nausea in your stomach. You were kind of scared, not that you wanted to be lame and admit that.

"Hey, I resent that," He protested, but his tone conveyed the opposite message as he tugged your jeans and underwear down your legs in one smooth, expert motion, his gaze never leaving yours. "I'm just enthusiastic, that's all."

"Enthusiastically a whore," you snorted, letting your head fall back, staring at the ceiling. You'd really rather not see yourself naked right now, not with the amount of anxiety already coursing through your veins. You did not need a reminder of what Rafe was seeing.

"Whore?" He teased, his fingers dancing along your inner thighs. "I think you mean an amazing boyfriend who loves you and wants to make you feel good."

You hummed thoughtfully. "Uh, no, I'm pretty sure I mean whore," you grinned, reluctantly looking down at him despite yourself.

"Well, this whore is about to rock your world," He smirked, slowly trailing kisses up your inner thigh, gripping your hips. "Just relax and let me do all the work." His voice was low and seductive, his intentions clear.

"You're such an idiot," you laughed at his cheesy choice of words, a little nervous that the witty banter would have to be put on hold. He can't exactly respond to your sarcastic remarks with his mouth occupied.

He hummed, his breath hot against your core. Your breathing picked up, and you were unsure whether it was anticipation or if you were on the verge of a panic attack.

He slowly dragged his tongue along your slit, groaning at your taste on his tongue and the subsequent gasp that fell from your lips, making his painfully hard cock twitch in his jeans. His hands gripped your thighs, spreading them further apart and opening you up to him. He had dreamed of this moment, imagined this exact scenario about a half a dozen times as he got himself off, and now that it was actually happening, he was going to relish every moment.

He began to eat you out like a man starved, his tongue delving deep inside your tight heat, familiarizing himself with every inch of you. His nose nudged at your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through you that pulled a low whine from your throat. Your fingers threaded into his hair, moaning at the unfamiliar pleasure.

His fingers replaced his tongue, his mouth moving up to the sensitive bundle of nerves and sucking it into his mouth, determined to send you over the edge. He pushed his fingers deep inside and curled them, finding that spot that made your back arch and your hips buck against his mouth.

"Rafe," his name left your lips a breathy whimper as your head fell back against his pillows. Rafe was no stranger to having women under him, writhing and moaning his name, but something about it being you made him crazy. It took all his self-control not to blow his load in his pants right there and then.

He redoubled his efforts, eager to make you cum, rubbing that sweet spot inside you with ruthless precision and sucking on your clit, his tongue swirling around your sensitive nub. Another moan fell from your lips, your grip on his hair bordering on painful as you felt your orgasm wash over you, your legs practically shaking at the intense pleasure.

He groaned as he felt you spasm around his fingers, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. He slowly pulled away, grinning as he took in your dazed expression. He carefully slipped his fingers from your quivering hole, bringing them to his mouth. He couldn't help the moan that rumbled low in his throat as he tasted you on his tongue. God, you were perfect.

His eyes flicked up to yours as his tongue darted out to lick his lips clean. "Good, huh?" He asked, his tone smug. He knew it had been good, but he wanted to hear you say it.

"I'm gonna slap that stupid look off your face," you playfully rolled your eyes, your skin practically burning up with embarrassment.

"I think that would take our case from a civil lawsuit to a criminal assault charge," he grinned, calling back to your previous joke about taking him to court. He positioned himself over you again to press his lips against yours, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

"It's my first offense and a misdemeanor," you mumbled into the kiss, cupping his face. "Worst I'll get is a fine, so... totally worth it."

"Okay, smartass," he pulled away, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, gazing down at you lovingly.

"Just saying," you smiled softly up at him, his hair falling into his face and his blue eyes sparkling. He really loved you, and it was evident just from the way he looked at you. He'd never felt anything like it before. He loved you so much it terrified him.

But, of course, you had to ruin the moment of peace because shutting up was not something you were wired to do, especially not in the face of such charged silence. "Your little friend is poking me again," you blurted out the words before you could stop yourself. Little friend? You really couldn't have come up with anything else?

Rafe couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips as he rocked his hips against you, making you gasp softly. "He's just happy to see you." His eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned down at you, his fingers absently tracing along your side.

"Okay, well, can you tell him I don't really know him like that, so maybe he should calm down a little bit," you couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, but you loved it, and you loved him. He understood you in a way you never thought you'd be understood by anyone.

"He says he's not planning on staying a stranger for much longer," he smirked, his hips rolling against yours.

"This is actually so stupid," you giggled, your hand covering your mouth as you laughed beneath him.

"Oh, now it's stupid?" He rolled his eyes, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. "You're the one who started it."

"Shut up," you smiled, leaning up to kiss him. "Okay, okay, you can... start now, I guess," you said awkwardly. There was only so long that you could stall with stupid dick jokes. Besides, you felt a little bad that he had been so patient and undoubtedly, extremely hard.

"About time," he murmured with faux annoyance, his voice low as he fiddled with his belt buckle and pulled it through the loops, tossing it aside before popping the button on his jeans and slowly unzipping them.

You sucked in a breath, trying to calm your nerves as the sound of him pulling his jeans off seemed to echo through the room. You wanted this. You knew you did, but you couldn't help the pit of fear in your stomach.

He paused, feeling your body tense beneath him as you took a deep breath, a sign he knew all too well. "Hey, look at me," he coaxed softly, cupping your face and stroking your cheek with his thumb. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. We can wait if you're not ready. Just tell me to stop, and I will, no questions asked, no hard feelings. We can just forget all about it," he reassured you.

Your heart fluttered as you heard your boyfriend's words, meeting his gaze and seeing the sincerity behind his eyes. "No, I- I want to. I'm just... scared, yknow," you bit your lip nervously, mentally kicking yourself. You always seemed to be scared. There probably wasn't a single thing in the world that you weren't scared of.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," he soothed, pressing gentle kisses to your face, your neck, your collarbone—anywhere he could reach. "There's nothing wrong with being scared. It's your first time. If you weren't scared, that would be a little concerning."

You laughed softly at his words. "You just make sure you wrap it up. I don't know where you've been," you joked. "Safe sex is great sex as the Lil Wayne once wisely said."

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Lil Wayne, huh? I didn't know he moonlighted as a sex ed teacher." He reached into his bedside table, pulling out a foil packet and waving it in front of your face. "But don't worry, I'm always prepared."

"Jesus, that's a lot of condoms," you said, peering into his drawer and seeing way more condoms than you realistically thought one person would need. "You are a whore of massive proportions. Like, literally a menace to the female population."

"Oh, hush," he grinned, tearing open the packet and rolling the latex down over his length. "I bought them in bulk. You know, for... emergencies," He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, leaning back down to press kisses to your skin once more.

"Eugh," you giggled, your face scrunching up in disgust. "I genuinely do not want to know what a sex emergency is."

"Hey, a guy's gotta be prepared, okay?" He murmured against your neck, his breath warm. "Now, are you going to keep talking, or are you going to let me kiss you and calm you the hell down?"

"Yo, I am literally so calm," you rolled your eyes, lying through your teeth in the name of comedy and also not sounding like the total little loser virgin you were. "So calm and so chill. Literally have never been calmer or chiller in my life."

"Uh-huh," he hummed, clearly unconvinced as he pressed a soft kiss to your jaw, his fingers slowly trailing down your side, his touch gentle. "Because nothing says 'calm and chill' like sex jokes and rambling like you're on speed."

"Well, I can't help that I'm the funniest person alive," you argued, the realization dawning on you that you were naked, and he was naked, which meant there was only so many more sex jokes you could make before the sex actually commenced.

"You're not even in the top five funniest people I know," he teased, his fingers reaching your hip as he slowly pulled you closer, the heat of his body pressing against yours.

"Oh, you got jokes, huh?" You grinned, nervously giggling when you felt his tip nudge at your entrance. "You better take that back if you wanna get laid tonight."

"I think I'll stick with my original statement," he said, his voice low and husky as he pressed forward, the head of his dick pushing into you slowly as he rubbed soothing circles on your hip. "You're just not funny enough to make the cut, sweetheart."

You sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth, wincing at the painful sensation. You grabbed his bicep for support, digging your nails into his arm. "Liar," you joked weakly, your chest heaving as you breathed through the intrusion.

"Shh, just breathe," he whispered against your neck, his voice low and soothing as he paused, letting you adjust to the foreign feeling. "You're doing so good, baby. You're taking it like a champ."

"Okay, don't call me champ while you're inside me," you grimaced, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted as you slowly adjusted to having him inside you.

"You okay, baby?" He asked softly, pushing the slightest bit further into you as he examined your reaction closely.

"Oh, yeah, just peachy," you said sarcastically. The pain was gradually starting to fade, making the whole thing more enjoyable by the second. Though, the pressure between your thighs was intense.

"Mhm, you're a real ray of sunshine," he chuckled softly, pushing the rest of the way into you, his body shuddering as he bottomed out. He was as deep as he could go, his hips flush against yours.

You gasped as he pressed all the way into you, your grip on his bicep tightening. "You're gonna look like you got mauled by a lion after this," you panted out, apologetic for the involuntary response.

"I'd wear that badge of honor proudly," he said, his voice thick with amusement as he slowly began to move, his hips rolling against yours in a gentle, soothing rhythm. "Now, shut up and let me make love to you."

"Don't say 'make love' either. That's so gross," you giggled softly, a breathy moan falling from your lips as he set a slow, pleasurable pace.

"Then what would you prefer I call it?" He murmured, his lips brushing against your ear as he continued his steady movements, the friction building between your bodies. "'Coitus'? 'Intercourse'? 'Fucking'?" He punctuated each word with a sharp thrust of his hips.

You moaned, your head falling back against the pillows and brows pinching in pleasure. Okay, you were definitely starting to see what all the fuss was about. "Let's just not refer to what's happening right now as anything at all."

"Mhm, I can work with that," he hummed, his pace picking up slightly as he felt you start to relax more, your body welcoming his thrusts. "Just focus on how good it feels, baby. Let me take care of you."

He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours and kissing you deeply as he continued to fuck you with a pace that demonstrated his love and devotion to you. He never thought he would be one for slow, romantic sex, but he didn't think he was into a lot of things before he met you. You had a way of making him discover things about himself he was completely clueless to.

As he kissed you, he slowly shifted his hips, changing the angle of his thrusts to hit that particularly sensitive spot inside you. He felt you tense up, a sharp gasp escaping your lips into the kiss, and he smiled against your mouth. "You like that, huh?"

"You're such an ass," you grinned, your fingers curling into his hair, back arching into him as his tip continued to hit that spongy spot inside you, the pressure low in your abdomen building.

"Maybe so, but you love it," he smirked against your mouth, his hands gripping your hips as he increased his pace, his hips snapping forward in a steady rhythm. "And you're gonna come for me again, baby. Aren't you?"

Your mouth fell open in pleasure, your breath hot against his lips. "uh huh," you nodded, your eyes fluttering shut. He was a cocky motherfucker, but he was hot and he put up with your shit, so it was only fair you put up with his in return.

"That's my girl," he purred, one hand sliding down to rub tight circles on your clit as he continued his relentless pace. "Come on, baby. Let me feel you. I want to watch you fall apart for me."

You gasped sharply at the added stimulation, his name leaving your lips in a whine as you tensed around him, sent over the edge for the second time.

He groaned as he felt your walls clench around him, the sensation of you practically choking his dick sending him into his own release. "Fuck, you feel so good," he panted, his hips stuttering as he spilled himself into the condom with a low moan of your name.

Your walls pulsed around him as you slowly came down from your high, relaxing into the mattress. Your chest heaved as you caught your breath, your whole body on fire and coated in a thin sheen of sweat.

He collapsed on top of you with a satisfied hum, peppering gentle kisses along your neck and collarbone as he softened inside you. "I love you, you know that?"

"Good 'cause otherwise this would be pretty awkward," you laughed breathlessly, gently raking your nails over his scalp soothingly. "But, seriously, I love you too," you added quietly after a beat of silence.

tags .ᐟ   @starkeysprincess / @cometmultiverse / @iheartjjmaybnk / @all4l0vee / @kissesfrmriri / @xoxohoneymoongirl / @bradshawed /

[mischievousmoony]

hello !! it is again almost 3am where i am but i cannot stop thinking at nerdy james before he gets buff from quidditch.

headcanon time; first or second year, before he knew his friends, he was like this wimpy little kid that got bullied a whole lot (especially by slytherin kids) and that's why he plays pranks on people.

but but! a request maybe of reader liking james before he got popular, but they never made it known because they're the quiet type. but as james became popular, reader stayed the same and they never really really crossed paths again. but there was a time where reader did something small for james back then which he remembered all those years and then they kiss kiss fall in love.

you can you whatever pronouns you want again for reader !!

- 🌱

took the liberty of making the reader a gryffindor hope thats ok

𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞

⟢ james potter x reader ⊹ 2.8k ⟢ warnings/tags: intoxication (not reader or james), unsolicited flirting from random guy, james is taller than r, gryffindor!reader, introvert!reader, no specific pronouns for reader used

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Secluded in a quiet corner is where you feel most comfortable at parties. Your fellow Gryffindors are a boisterous bunch, and that's never been your style, making it much easier to watch events like these from the sidelines.

This doesn't make you the most popular student in your house. It's not as though people don't like you, but they don't really know you. If they had to, the vocabulary they would use to describe you would be limited to quiet, nice, and… quiet.

You’ve always wondered if you would've fit in better in another house. Ravenclaw always seemed appealing. Or Hufflepuff maybe. But for reasons you don't understand, the sorting hat put you here. With the daring, self-assured, unreserved students that you couldn't be anymore like. But, you never really minded. As different as they are, at least they're nice.

For the most part.

"Hey, baby," one of your housemates drawls, emerging from the lively crowd and invading your corner. You can't say you remember his name as he cozies up next to you, unceremoniously situating himself against the wall. His shoulder crashes against it roughly as he says, "You look lonely over here."

His warm, beer-scented breath invades your senses and you scrunch your nose in discomfort, veering away from him as you reply, "I'm fine."

"Want some company?" he presses, surging forward to make up for the space you created and then some.

"No, thank you." It's almost annoying that your instinct is to be polite as this guy invades your personal space.

"Cos I could make for some real nice company," he adds, a sinister smirk working its way onto his face as you cringe away from him.

You're wracking your brain for a way out of this situation, when a familiar voice sounds from behind you, saving you the trouble.

"Hey, ready to head out?" James Potter says, and you have no idea what he's talking about, but at least it makes the other guy back away from you slightly.

"James," you blurt, rather dumbly, surprised at his sudden closeness.

Truthfully, you have been eyeing him from your corner; admiring the boy from afar as you have for years. Most of Gryffindor fancies him, and you're no exception. But who wouldn't have a thing for Gryffindor's valiant captain and ever confident head boy? Especially when that boy looks the way James does: standing over six feet tall with a chiseled, muscular physique (thank you, Quidditch). He seems to know it too, the way he carries himself with confidence.

His most captivating feature, though, is his bright, infectious smile. It's always been your favorite thing about him, even when it was still the shy, hesitant grin of a boy who wasn’t yet confident in himself.

"It's about time for us to get out of here, don't you think?" James smiles, baring all of his pearly whites, and he looks like something out of a dream. His eyes flick from you to the boy to your left. "Oh, hey Callaghan, didn't see you there."

"Potter," Callaghan nods in greeting. "You, uh, you know..." he trails off, gesturing aimlessly to you. You're not surprised that he doesn't know your name.

"Y/N? Course I do," James says, stepping closer to you.

But that. That's a surprise.

James towers over both of you, making Callaghan take another step back in intimidation. You're too busy being surprised to feel relieved over the space. James knows your name?

Callaghan gestures between the two of you, trying the gauge your relationship. "And you two are...?"

"Leaving," James says, offering you his hand, “Right?”

You stare at his hand, momentarily dumbfounded, before you take it, “Right.”

You feel kind of hazy as you let James lead you away from Callaghan, away from the lively party, and out into the corridor. The situation is so surreal that you wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly woke up to find it was all a dream. When was the last time you even spoke to James Potter?

"You alright?" James' voice cuts through the silence of Hogwarts' halls. Your eyes meet his concerned ones as he leans against the stone wall, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"Yeah, I'm alright," you say, still a little muddled. You snap out of it with a shake of your head, remembering your manners, "Thank you, by the way."

"Psh," he waves his hand through the air, brushing it off, "You don't need to thank me. Any person with eyes could see Callaghan was being... off putting." James scrunches his nose in judgement, pausing as if to bite his tongue, like has more to say about Callaghan but better not. "Any decent person would've stepped in. No thank you necessary."

"Well I'm thankful anyway," you say quietly, the corner of your mouth tugging upward into a small smile.

James' eyes dart to your lips, your gesture conjuring a wide smile on James' own lips. You're momentarily distracted as his tongue runs across his teeth, barely hearing him as he says, "Well, I may be reluctant to accept your gratitude because I may have had some selfish reasons behind my method."

Your lips part, twitching into the shape of various words that never leave your lips. You feel very warm all of a sudden.

James does a rubbish job of hiding the amusement in his eyes, but he is kind enough to put you out of your misery with an explanation, "I need a walking buddy. Was hoping you'd like to join me?"

You're not any less dumfounded but you manage to get the words out this time. "You want me to go on a walk with you?"

"Yeah," James says, like it's not strange at all.

"Why didn't you ask one of your friends to go?"

"You are my friend," James insists, and you cock and eyebrow.

"I was surprised that you even knew my name."

"Of course I know you! We're friends," he emphasizes.

You look at him skeptically, not sure what you did to make a friend out of him. Not that you wouldn't like to be his friend, but friends usually talk to each other. The last time James spoke to you was last year to ask if you had an extra roll of parchment. And he was more so asking the entire class, you just so happened to be the one with the parchment.

"Do you not want to be my friend?" He asks in a teasing tone, having let you stare in silent skepticism for long enough.

He's not being serious, but you panic anyway. "What!? No! I mean no I don't not want to be friends!"

He chuckles as he pushes himself up from wall. "Then walk with me, would'ya?" He nods his head off in the same direction he starts walking, expecting that you'll follow.

You do, your feet moving faster than your brain can overthink your way into a no. But as you walk next to him your thoughts catch up with you.

What are you supposed to talk about? What do you know about him? Quidditch. What do you know about Quidditch? You know lots about Quidditch. Quick, say something about Quidditch before this silence gets awkward. Why do you suddenly not know anything about Quidditch?

The effects of your racing mind are written across face, your features contorted in worry and a lasting skepticism as you glance up at James every so often.

James is glancing at you too, finding every little crease and contour from your worried look endearing as silent laughter bubbles in his chest.

"Alright, what's that face?" James finally asks, his tone as gentle as possible as not to make you uncomfortable.

Your expression softens into sheepishness. James looks at you with such kindness that you find yourself voicing your concerns.

"We're friends?" you ask in a small, hesitant voice.

James is quick to defend his claim, "I've known you since we were kids!"

"We haven't spoken since we were kids," you say.

He seems to deflate at your words, faltering as he experiences a moment of speechlessness.

"Besides," you go on, a hint of smugness creeping up on you, "we've known everyone at this school since we were kids. Does that make us friends with everyone?"

James is quick to shake his head. "Not everyone was as kind as you back then."

Any trace of smugness has been quickly expunged and replaced by a fluttering in your stomach as his eyes fill with what you would call admiration if you didn't know any better.

"And you were exceptionally kind," he adds on, not helping ease the butterflies in your stomach. "Though you're right. I should've talked to you. I don't know why I didn't talk to you more."

"It's okay," you say in a small voice, prompting you to clear your throat before you continue, "We're talking now."

James smiles that radiant, charming smile that makes you swoon. Before silence can settle over you James' face lights up as an idea pops into his head.

"Have you even been on the Quidditch Pitch at night? I mean, when there's no game going on?"

You shake your head, your eyebrows creasing as you find his question rather random. Before you've fully grasped what he's implying, he's grabbing your hand and dragging you out of the castle.

A gasp escapes your lips as he tugs you along, his enthusiasm and long strides causing him to race ahead without realizing how fast he’s moving. It's only when you're outside that you find your voice again.

"James!"

He slows his pace and drops your hand. For a moment, he looks almost embarrassed, shrugging his shoulders as he lacks an excuse for his sudden burst of energy.

You shake your head with a smile. “Some things never change. Do you ever take a deep breath and just mellow out?” you ask, noticing with amusement that he’s just as hyperactive now as he was when you were kids.

James makes a big show of taking a long, deep breath as he falls into step with you at a much more leisurely pace than before.

You shake your head again, chuckling.

"Some things do change, by the way. For example, you were taller than me back then," he says, resting his elbow on the top of your head to emphasize the difference.

You jerk your head away, playfully retorting, "Everyone was taller than you."

"Shut up!" he laughs, letting his arm fall to his side. He's close enough that his arm brushes against yours as you walk. You feel the shake of his laughs against your skin and you can't help but giggle along.

It doesn't take long to walk to the quidditch pitch. The walk felt shorter than it does on game days, but maybe that's because you didn't have James to walk with.

You follow James out to the very center of the field, where he wastes no time to plop down into the grass. "Lay with me," he says, crossing his arms behind his head. "You can see all the stars from out here," he says to convince you.

"You come out here a lot?" you ask as you sink down beside him. The grass tickles your skin as you lay down.

"I've been coming out here since I was a first year," James reveals. "I used to lay in the grass, just like this, and imagine what I would look like flying above dodging bludgers and scoring winning goals."

"Yeah?"

James hums affirmatively. "I've always loved Quidditch. Wanted to play for as long as I can remember. And then I came to Hogwarts, and Merlin, I thought the Quidditch players were so cool. Wanted to be like them so bad."

"What does it feel like?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you’re the one first years are looking up to now."

"No, they're not," James scoffs in complete disbelief.

"James," you deadpan, thinking he can't be serious. "You're the Gryffindor captain and rightfully so. One of the best chasers Hogwarts has probably ever seen. I mean, way you escaped that bludger last weekend?” you muse. “Not to mention the Chudley Chop Down you pulled off. You looked just like the professionals, it was incredible!"

James is caught at a loss for words again, a rare occurrence for him, but you've managed to make it happen twice now.

You clear your throat, realizing how you've just raved on about him to his face. You excuse yourself with, "I, um, I really like Quidditch."

James blinks away the awestricken glint in his eyes, responding, "Figured as much. Don't think I've ever played a game I haven't seen you in the crowd of. But enough about me," he continues. "What about you and your achievements, eh?”

“What are you talking about?”

"Don't be coy. You have to be the brightest witch at Hogwarts."

"No, that's–"

"C'mon I've seen the marks you get. And no one gets Gryffindor more house points in class than you do. All the professors love you; Slughorn always seats you to his right at Slug Club meetings. And I thought Minnie had a soft spot for me but then I saw how she talks to you."

"Maybe if you called her Professor McGonagall once in a while," you tease, trying to distract him from showering you with anymore compliments to spare your heart from racing any longer.

"Wouldn't matter. She likes you because you're smart. Driven too. She knows you’ll do great things after school. Everyone knows you'll be one of the most successful in our class."

"I hardly think anyone notices me,” you say, nervously ripping up blades of grass from the ground.

"I have," he says, looking at you with so much fondness it takes your breath away.

Your eyes widen, sparkling with warm astonishment at all his kind words. James notices the way your parted lips curve into a small, shy smile. Slowly, it grows into a grin.

He nudges you, "Now what's that look for?"

"This is just... unexpected."

"Unexpected?"

"I mean I didn't realize you remembered by name, let alone knew anything about me."

James' expression is tinted with disbelief. He removes his arms from behind his head as he angles his body slightly toward you, gearing towards something serious. "Of course I did. When I said you were kind to me back then, you were really the only one who was. How could I forget you?"

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise as James sighs deeply.

"Merlin, I really should have talked to you more," he says, shaking his head.

"It's okay–"

"No," he insists, "I should have talked to you more. I don't know why I didn't– I mean I do know why I just..."

You swallow hard, giving yourself time to find your voice. "There's a reason?" you ask.

James turns his head, shifting back against the grass as his gaze finding the stars above him. You can see the moon reflecting in his eyes as he bathes in its light. He looks ethereal like this.

"You make me nervous," he's able to admit in the comfort of not having to see your reaction, pretending it’s just him and the moon out here.

Your jaw goes slack. You'd sooner think you're being pranked or he's under some kind of spell than to believe his words.

"What?" you finally utter. Your hand freezes with a chunk of freshly ripped up grass held hostage between your fingertips.

James chuckles, "You were so nice to me. And I always thought you were so pretty I– every time you said something kind to me I would get so red in the face."

You're silent, at a loss for words as you try to wrap your mind around his admission. If the tips of his ears hadn't turned red, you'd think he's lying.

"I mean everything made me nervous back then," he continues. "Thank Merlin I grew out of that, but you..."

James finally looks at you again, his eyes darting across your face as he absorbs your reaction. Carefully, he takes hold of your wrist, placing your palm flat on his chest, over his heart.

"You still make my heart race," he says quietly, and you can feel the proof under your fingertips.

Words make their way past your lips almost instinctively, driven by a desire to reassure him. "I... I was too nervous to talk to you too."

The fondness in his eyes grows even warmer, and he begins tracing gentle lines on the back of your wrist with the pad of his thumb. "It's alright," he says. His tone is genuine and hopeful as he continues, "We're talking now," he repeats your words from earlier with newfound affection. "And I'd really like it if we could keep talking."

"Yeah," you say. A wave of courage washes over you, and you adjust your hand to intertwine your fingers with his. "Me too."

After that, you find yourself out here a lot more often, staring at the stars with James, your fingers intertwined. You're both much more comfortable around each other now, but from time to time, you still make each other's heart race.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[oddlylovingaddiction]

Mark Grayson and you wrapped up in bed, the warmth tickling your bones as you hold each other.

You don’t need to vent or rant to each other, just the sound of each other’s gentle breathing. You’re both facing each other, tangled together to the point you can hear each other’s heartbeat. Maybe because he’s half Viltrum his heartbeat is a bit different. But you don’t bring it up, he’d prefer to ignore his past as do you.

The rain hits hard and falls quickly, reminding you of how cozy, warm and safe being in his arms feels.

“I love you.” You say softly, you can feel his left foot slightly twitch at your words.

“I love you too.” He says as he slightly buries his face into your hair. “Please… don’t ever leave me. I don’t want to be alone without you.” It’s a desperate plea that he whispers softly to you, like at any moment you’d disappear, your smile being only a memory. It scares him that thought. He doesn’t want to lose anyone..

Especially you.

You giggle slightly as you squeeze him in reassurance, “I wouldn’t even dream of it. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” You feel him breathe a subtle sigh of relief.

Eventually your mutual breathing and heartbeat lull each other to sleep. Tomorrow you might have to face your anxieties and face your fears, but not now.

Now is only you and him.

[madwomansapologist]

nanami would lowkey ruin his idea of a marriage proposal.

he is so meticulous about his life. he needs to look a certain way, talk a certain way, do things a certain way. it brings him peace. to have control over the small things.

so when he started thinking about marriage, at that point simply a single man daydreaming during a lazy day, he knew what it would be like. nanami would make it perfect. roses and champagne, dinner with candlelight, the perfect ring and an intricate speech.

it sucks when you put a plate in front of nanami, the food placed exactly as he would serve himself because you knew, as he finished seasoning the salad nanami almost thanked you by saying "we should get married."

it sucks that once he was searching for the perfect ring nanami got sick and couldn’t get up from the bed and you fed him warm soup and made sure he would take his medicine at the right time. that time when you said he needed to be healthier about his sleep routine he bit his tongue to not say "can i be your husband instead?"

it sucks that once that damned ring was safely hidden in his office you woke up looking so lost that all nanami truly wanted was to put the ring on your finger and wait for you to noticed

and it sucks that once he kneeled before you all those trained speechs evaporated from his mouth and all nanami could say was "please".

[fear-is-truth]

imagine… being rafe cameron’s anxious gf.

RAFE CAMERON notices your nervous ticks before you even realise you’re doing them. it’s not something you point out or explain to him—he just picks up on it. it starts with your lip-biting. the way your teeth tug at your lower lip whenever you’re deep in thought or battling anxiety in your chest. at first, he only watches, the corner of his mouth twitching in a way that’s almost… amused. but it doesn’t take long before he steps in, gently pressing his thumb to your lip to free it from your teeth. he never says much about it. just a quiet “don’t,” followed by a kiss that makes your knees weak and your mind to quiet down. sometimes, if he’s feeling playful, his teeth graze the plush of your bottom lip just enough to leave a reminder that your lip isn’t for chewing—it’s his to kiss.

then there are your nails. rafe notices how you pick at them when you’re zoning out or trying to manage the jumbled thoughts in your head. he doesn’t call you out for it, but he hates seeing you tear at yourself like that, even if it’s unconscious. he takes his time with this one, dropping hints until one day he flat-out tells you that you’re getting your nails done. it’s not a request—it’s a “we’re going now”. he doesn’t even give you time to overthink it. he’s already picked out the colour, your favourite shade, and watches with satisfaction as the nail tech transforms your hands. when you walk out with perfect, glossy acrylics, you simply can’t take your eyes off them, marvelling at how pretty they look. the first time you go to pick at your nails and stop yourself, rafe notices immediately. the small, triumphant smirk that spreads across his face is impossible to miss.