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hihi i love your work and writing soo much and i wad hoping if you could do seventeen reacting to their s/o calling them their husband when they aren't married yet (i hope this makes sense lol) 💗💗
seventeen reaction to you calling them your 'husband'
seungcheol: he goes from zero to full blush in a second. he freezes, hand halfway reaching for his wallet, and then he’s grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. “husband? me? you just made my day, you know that?” he says, all smug, but his ears are bright red.
jeonghan: raises an eyebrow, smirking like you’ve just revealed your master plan. “oh, husband? so, we’re skipping the proposal, straight to the good part?” he teases, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “alright then, what else does your husband want?”
joshua: he’s shy about it, glancing around like he’s hoping the drive-thru person heard it too. then he smiles all soft and leans in close, whispering, “you calling me your husband now? can’t wait to make that official,” and suddenly you’re the one blushing.
junhui: sparkles with pride, looking at you like you just handed him the moon. “husband? well, that’s a promotion if i’ve ever heard one!”
hoshi: it takes him a second to catch it, but once he does? game over. he’s literally bouncing in his seat, grabbing your arm like, “wait, did you just call me husband?!” practically shouting, “babe, i can’t believe you just said that!”
woozi: completely silent, but his face goes bright red. he looks away, clearly trying to hide his shy smile, don't say anything, but thinks about it all day tho, until he cant hold it anymore. “babe... you—we in drive-thru you—umm.. called me husband?”
wonwoo: his lips twitch up into a small smile “husband?” he repeats, liking how it sounds. then he raises an eyebrow. “guess i should start acting the part. anything else my spouse needs?”
minghao: smirks immediately, leaning back in his seat, crossing his arms. “didn’t know you were so forward,” he says all casually, but his cheeks are pink. “but hey, if you wannaaaa start calling me that, i’m not.. complaining.”
mingyu: he’s so shocked he practically yelps. “husband? me?!” he’s grinning like a little kid, unable to hide how thrilled he is. “i can’t believe you just called me that! like, actually? oh my god! did you hear that?” he asks to the attendant.
seokmin: his eyes go wide, jaw dropping as he looks at you in disbelief. “wait… did you just say husband?” he starts laughing out of pure joy... or nervousness, grabbing your hand. “you can’t just drop that on me like that! guess we’re getting serious now?”
seungkwan: “oh my god, did everyone hear that? husband!” he’s clutching his chest like he’s swooning, acting like it’s the best compliment he’s ever gotten. “if this is how you’re gonna talk to me, we better start planning a wedding.”
vernon: just stares at you with those big eyes, blinking like he’s processing what you said. then he breaks into a shy smile, looking down. “um.. first you need to talk with my momma about it” he jokes quietly, a little flustered.
chan: “husband? oh, we’re there already? are you readey? cause im am ready and—” he laughs. “not gonna lie, i kinda like the sound of that.”
#seventeen reactions#seventeen imagines#seventeen headcanons#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#svt imagines#seungcheol x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#hoshi x reader#dino x reder#minghao x reader#wonwoo x reader#woozi x reader#jun x reader#mingyu x reader#seokmin x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#chan x reader
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cw: band au, rockstar!geto x groupie!gf, slight manipulation?, car sex, oral. a/n: gets deserves a loser gf too
rockstar!geto who has a small rock band though they already have a #1 fan: you.
the band is all you talk about, going to the point of making your own shirts and posters, you doodle the bands logo everywhere and, most importantly you don't miss a single concert.
by the end of it you're waiting next to the back door of the pub when the band comes out, as soon as you see suguru you call his name extending your little gift bag.
"woah for me? thanks, doll." he takes your chin and gives your glossy lips a peck that makes your heartbeat spike up and your face warm up. geto fucking suguru just kissed you!
during all that week you were on cloud nine, so distracted and giggly.
of course geto notices you, always in the front row and ready to give the band some gifts, he sees how you try to dress up as one of them before they even realize they have a visual identity.
geto likes having fangirls, if anything that’s the best sign that the band is doing well. till that point he never considered engaging to one in a more intimate level. after all, women were never a problem for him, fans or not.
the problem is when they think more of the relationship than it really is. geto has always made sure they knew that sleeping together and treating them well was not synonymous to committed relationship.
because he already is committed. to his music. so after spending the whole day trying to come up with a new song so the band may finally have a complete album to present to a record, he takes a frustrated break picking up his phone and to his dismay only finding a long message about how he hurt someone’s feelings.
“oh for fucks sake” he lets his phone fall on the couch and take his keys, this is not a good week to quit smoking.
“geto?” he hears a small voice calling him after he leaves the convenience store with a very much needed cigarette on his lips and nicotine in his system.
“oh hey” he recognizes you by name and face.
“you’re using the lighter” you point out enthusiastically, that was a limited edition you bought and gifted him.
“that’s right, you bought me this, did i say thank you?” he’s genuinely wondering, your face heats remembering the kiss.
“i-its no big deal” you brush it off, since he doesn’t seem to be in a rush you start to babble about one specific song and everything you loved about it, knowing he was the composer.
“do wanna go to my place?” he says after quietly listening to your passionate thoughts. you think steam is about to come out of your ears at how hot your face got.
geto throws away what’s left of his cigarette and takes your hand, not really waiting for a response since the heart in your eyes is pretty obvious.
“you’re so cute” he says with his face mushed into your breasts as he guides your movements on his lap. you never guessed when you came out this morning you would be riding your favorite guitarist’s dick a few hours later, if you knew you probably would’ve put a sexier lingerie. not that he would care, by the way he pushed your bottoms down all at once he probably didn’t even know what color your underwear was.
geto pulled your hair tilting your head to meet his mouth, he devoured you so intensely, so overwhelming… you came not even needing your clit to be touched, just by having him inside you and breathing into your mouth like that was enough.
for suguru it was all a power trip, when he saw you after a concert he knew it wouldn’t take you much sweet talking to get you in his car.
he quickly mumbled an excuse to meet the band at the bar later and in just a few minutes he had you bobbing your head down his cock, “just like that, gorgeous, so good” his head is thrown back as he moans softly.
and as the band grew more popular and they had to travel to other cities to perform he would always count on you to meet him at his hotel room.
“geto~” you mewl his name as he eats your pussy from behind so lewdly.
from the very first time you knew it was over for every other guy the moment he touched you. no matter what anyone said about geto, that he was using you, he would never marry you, you didn’t care. you would be his devotee as long as he wanted.
and geto got all he wanted, a pretty little thing that didn’t complain or asked too many questions and best of all: that loved his music and understood his work.
“i know, you have to practice” you kiss him one last time before gathering your clothing from the floor, the hints of him not wanting to stay over were all memorized at this point, so you turn your back at him and make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
but the usual sound of the door opening and closing never came, instead you saw him coming from behind to lace strong arms around your waist, “well maybe just tonight” he smells your hair and through the mirror he sees the tattoo bellow your belly button, just above the hem of your underwear. your prof of love: the logo of the band.
geto touches it and you giggle at the feathery feeling, like a tickle, he likes that sound. he likes you.
“i was thinking you should get another, right here” a finger caress your right ass cheek.
“the same one?” you ask confused.
“no, silly, something else” he gets down hands caressing your hips and kissing the extension of your butt, “my name.”
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How are you feeling now, Bon?
Yeah don't worry, they're fine now, when your tummy is full you can't be mad, that's just science fact
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Okay ! Lots of stuff to say here ! There were some details I wasn't sure of about the lore of this mixed UT/ISAT universe, but recently I made myself a little memo of everything and I'm more sure of my stuff. So I made it clear in this one : Chara is here ! And they are here to help....maybe.
Siffrin thoughts and Chara's narration are kinda here at the same time...which must be super confusing to live honestly, but you can still see the difference. I will not develop here why Chara is with Siffrin instead of Frisk, but if you want a small explanation, their wishes mixed together
I personally think that there's a lot of ISAT stuff in this AU and not enough UT, so the next one (the one I really wanted to make for a while) will be more about UT, and it will be out...tomorrow ! Yep, I already started it before I decided to make that one first, so you'll have another answer really soon, whoo oh !
I hope you like this one for now though ! See you soon !
(Also did you notice the new brush I used this time ? I love it honestly, it looks super cool, I think I'll keep it)
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DIALOGUES IN CASE YOU CAN'T READ MY HANDWRITING
1 :
Bonnie : Mh.........
2 :
Odile : Bonniface, I get that you are upset, but can you please be faster ? Even I don't walk that slow
Bonnie : I'm as fast as I can 'dile !...
3 :
Isabeau : Hey, Sif ? Sorry to bother ya but, huh... Could you talk to Bonbon ? I think they might need it...
Siffrin : Huh ? Why ? I'm not really the feelings person of the group
4 :
Isabeau : Listen buddy, I... I don't think I'm the good person to tell you about it. Just...talk to them, okay ? They'll tell you...eventually
Siffrin : Huh... Okay ? I'll go do that...
5 :
Mirabelle : Huh ? Why did we stop ? Siffrin ?
6 :
Siffrin : Heya Bonnie
Bonnie : ...Siffrin. What d'you want ?
7 :
Chara (internally): Oof, wow, such a sweet kid. They even "Siffried" you
Siffrin : It seems that you're still angry since you flee earlier, and that it's...kinda my fault ? I'm not sure to really understand, but huh, I'm sorry, for whatever happened. I didn't wanted to upset you.
8 :
Bonnie : Huh uh. Yeah, sure. I forgive you
Siffrin (internally) : It doesn't sound like they do though...
9 :
Chara (internally) : Stars, that kid sure is difficult ! Just continue okay, they are not worth it
Siffrin : ...
10 :
Siffrin : Hey Bonnie ?
Bonnie : Hum ?
Siffrin (internally) : No, no don't say that. They'll ALWAYS be worth it
11 :
Siffrin : What if I tell you that I still have a piece of Toriel's pie in my secret pockets. What d'you say ?
Siffrin (internally) : In every loop, every fun changes, you party will always be more important. If you have to proceed, it will be with them
12 :
Bonnie : ...Well. First, I say that it sounds super gross to keep pie in your pockets just like that
13 :
Bonnie : ...And then I say that I want it
14 :
Siffrin : There you go !
Bonnie : Thanks...
15 :
Siffrin (internally) : ...You know, it's nice to have new interactions with them. They almost became actual persons again, you even remember their names !
16 :
Bonnie : What ? WHAT ?! Why are you laughing ?! You makin' fun of me ?!!
17 :
Siffrin : No no, just thought you look like a bunny when you eat, a "Bonny" hehe. That's cute
Bonnie : GAASP. So you are makin' fun of me !
18 :
Bonnie : But huh, actually, I'm not mad at you somehow, guess it's because of the pie
Siffrin : Oh ? Really ?
Bonnie : Yeah, it's just that good
Siffrin : Huh, good to know
19 :
Bonnie : Yeah yeah, just go back to your place now. And stop being an idiot !
Siffrin (internally) : I guess they are okay now ?
Siffrin : Haha, okay okay
#underthestars#in stars and time#in stars and time crossover#isat#isat crossover#undertale ask blog#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#bonnie isat#isat odile#siffrin#isat mirabelle#mirabelle isat#in stars and time isabeau#odile#in stars and time odile#in stars and time siffrin#undertale#undertale art#undertale fandom#undertale crossover#undertale au#ut au#undertale alternate universe
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“what am i supposed to do without you?”
sypnosis; work , train , new city the cycle never ended for yoonchae drowned in fame—she starts to drift from the only love of her life
cw; fluff , angst , lovey dovey , yoonchae is a sweetheart, a lil crying just a little , miscommunication , pabo is a Korean word which means stupid or dumb, a bit of jelousy
now playing; “Mr.Loverman”
"Lets welcome KATSEYE!". the speakers blare around the mall , as the girls walk out
"hi I'm yoonchae" you heard her sweet voice , you got to sit at front since vip i guess?
for obvious reasons you had to keep the relationship a secret but you enjoyed it , cheering the group seeing her shine on stage was definitely a cure to your sadness
—
"you did amazing" you said as you enter the dressing room , Lara and Megan where there as well so you greeted them
"aww thanks" yoonchae responds , her smile highlighting her face
you hug her and give her some flowers
"soo... when's your next performance" you ask
"I don't know yet—but we're going to korea to have a meeting with Hybe" the younger responds
"ohh" you didn't really get what she meant but you had to say something
"you don't get it?" she asks
"no I do" you chuckle
"yeah right pabo" yoonchae says giggling
—ᝰ.ᐟ
now you get it , yoonchae is in Korea currently and apparently their talking about the next comeback of the group
song named touch or something , the chorus was very catchy , yoonchaes voice suits it you thought
"and we went to eomma to eat" the younger says over facetime
"ooh , was it good?" you ask , smiling at the girl who kept on yapping on the other line
"yep , Lara and Sophia literally fought over the last piece of tteokboki" she chuckles remembering the moment
"I miss you" you said
"I miss you too , but I am going back in a week I think" she replies to with a pout
—ᝰ.ᐟ
maybe you were overreacting but who wouldn't? , yoonchae hasn't answered your text and calls for like a week
yet you kept on reasoning maybe because she was busy?
"yoonie , I miss youu ( ・ั﹏・)" you chat her , besides she should be in the U.S by now
you wait and wait then wait , you kept on waiting
as you wait you scroll on Twitter , until you see katseye has a schedule to perform at a mall
you wonder why yoonchae hasn't told you yet — but maybe she just forgot to tell you
you bought tickets and got ready for the day
—ᝰ.ᐟ
music was loud , people were loud hell even the chairs you sat on was too loud for your liking
yes your social battery is as low as zero right now but what kept you in the mall was the upcoming performance
finally the girls were on stage , they were in position for their song "Debut" you really loved the song not only for it's fun choreo but the lyrics were amazing too
"hello everyone we are katseye!"
one by one the girls said and introduced yourself
"hi I'm Sophia!"
"hello everyone I am Manon and I am Lara"
"hi mall of Asia I am Megan!"
"Hola I'm daniela"
"annyeong— I'm Yoonchae"
you cheered and so did everyone else,they were beautiful
yoonchae saw you , and waved at you — you smiled back and held up a little handmade sign
"we love you katseye" written in some messy handwriting
the girls signed back a heart sign showing their gratitude
—ᝰ.ᐟ
after the show you stayed for a while meeting up with Lara's mom
"hey auntie" you said waving to her she waves back and you see Rhea behind her
"wanna come the girls are gonna eat at some restaurant" you nod In agreement
—ᝰ.ᐟ
"yoonie.." you ran up to her hugging her
"missed you" you pout at the younger
"me too" she giggles
"anyways let's sit down.." you said walking with her to your seat
after eating you asked yoonchae why she hasn't been online lately
"just busy" she replied nonchalantly which weirded you out , I mean she would've atleast sent you a hi but she didn't
"oh" you reply with the same tone
"lets call later?" she ask , which obviously lightened up your mood
a small grin plastered on your face
"yes please , what time?"
"maybe somewhere around 8-9pm" she replied
"okay yoonie " you kiss her cheeks , getting caught by Lara who makes a disgusted face
"yeah as if you and Manon are worse" the younger teased back
—ᝰ.ᐟ
finally home you took a replenishing bath and wore the pyjamas yoonchaes mom bought you
you text yoonchae about the call , and she replies with a thumbs up
weird. you thought
getting bored of waiting since It was probably getting late I mean look at the clock it's 10pm there's practically no sign of yoonchae
*this might be desperate" you exhale , you decided to call Lara instead to atleast know where yoonchae is
"hey , oh she's at Nayoungs place" Lara replied, you thank her and tell her to stay safe
"blah blah blah nayoung" you mutter under your breath , you excuse it as an freind thing but god you hated it
—ᝰ.ᐟ
7:30am
yoonie💗:"babe sorry , I was busy last night — i forgot"
yoonie💗:"sorry :(( , i love you"
you read the texts , yes it was mean not to reply to her but it constantly felt like you were the only one reaching out is there even a point to try?
you cook up something to eat , whilst getting ready to go to the gym
"shit" you mutter as the toast you bit in to was too hot
—ᝰ.ᐟ
while working out you listened to some music, debut was always and will be in every single playlist you had
you felt someone tap your shoulders
"hey"
you turn around pleasantly surprised, Ezrela?
"ezzie! , hey how are you??" you ask hugging her
"sorry bout the sweat" you said chuckling
"I've been good! , and no problem" The shorter replied
"i was wondering if you wanted to come over later—i invited the others aswell since you know I just got casted for some movie" She giggles
"yeah! , what time?" you said excited upon hearing the news
"come by at 8pm you know my address anyways" she said after so walking away
—ᝰ.ᐟ
at the party you saw some dream academy contestants and you knew the girls will be here aswell
"hey ezzie!" you run up to Ezrela giving her your gift
"congratulations by the way!" you said smiling at her
"aww thank you" she said leading you to the backyard
you saw some familiar faces , like Emily , Adela , Lexie and Nayoung — you forced yourself to smile and greet all of them
since most girls were adults their were drinks offered and mocktails for the younger
you were distracted waiting for the front door to open and her to come in , you missed her , plus it was getting late
Lexie approaches you , and you both got into a deep talk , maybe it was the alcohol hitting you but somehow the subject turned to you and yoonchae
"i really miss her you know—sometimes i wanna just keep her with me and hide her from the public" you said
"that's like kidnapping" Lexie chuckles to which you chuckle too
"but I get it — either way , just think about her being successful it will make her happy and what makes you happy?" Lexie follows
"her being happy" you repeat
you failed to notice how yoonchae was already in the party to busy talking, you excuse yourself to the bathroom from Lexie to which she nods too
"babe" you hear someone whisper
looking behind you saw yoonchae , fiddling with her jacket
"oh hi" you replied, you started feeling your eyes blur knowing damn well you were gonna cry you push into the bathroom
"are you okay?" the concerned younger one asks
"yeah.." you replied using some tissues to wipe away any stray tear
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how far I got from you—i saw you talking to Lexie about it , and I just don't want us to drift this far ever again" the younger states , her hands itching to hug you , a pout evident on her face
you took the initiative and hug her , she rest her head on your shoulders as she mutters some apology
"don't worry , I love you that's what matters" you replied, joy just filling you up
"i promise I'll make sure to stay in touch with you" the younger exhales
"i thought about you wayyyy too much , for my own good too ya know , i mean i didn't hear from you for like two days" you said , the younger presses her lips to your cheeks
"love you"
"love you too" you replied
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Prompt 29 - Climb
@jegulus-microfic October 29, Word count 881
Previous part First part
He couldn’t believe how many compliments Sirius had given him. He had no idea how to react to the praise, so he just nodded and smiled quick little smiles. He’d grabbed James’s hand at some point but couldn’t remember when. All he knew was that he couldn’t let go. He found it strangely calming, that simple touch. He felt confident enough with it to say a few things to his brother, even if they were only one or two-word answers.
“So where are you living now?” Sirius asked him after returning his sketchbook. He chewed his lip for a moment, knowing what Sirius was really asking.
“In the Halls. It’s noisy, but…” But it wasn’t Grimmauld Place. He couldn’t go back there. His parents had thrown him out right before uni had started, cancelling all his fees. Luckily, the university had been understanding and let him start his studies and move into his room on the understanding that if he didn’t get the student loan, he would owe them for back payments. It had been the scariest time in his life, but it had all worked out in the end.
“We loved Halls, didn’t we, Prongs? So many people to prank,” Sirius sighed nostalgically.
“Yeah, but everyone knew it was us. I think the Prefects were glad to see the back of us,” James laughed.
“W-w-what about you?” Regulus asked, wincing when he stuttered. Sirius looked at him sadly, remembering what had happened to Regulus at home if he dared to stutter within hearing of their mother.
“Up until a few weeks ago, I lived here. That was my room,” Sirius said, pointing at a door just visible from the living room.
“Why did you move out?” Regulus asked, his head filling with too many scenarios about James and his string of lovers and other highly upsetting things.
“Remus and I got a place together,” Sirius shrugged. Regulus guessed there was more, but Sirius didn't elaborate.
“Hey, Pads, come help me make more tea,” James had stood up while the brothers were talking and started collecting their used cups.
“What, why?” Sirius whined. “Why can’t you do it yourself? It’s only three cups of tea,” James leaned over, his nose almost touching Sirius’s and said very slowly.
“Mum sent over one of her chocolate cakes,” Sirius was out of his chair and racing towards the kitchen before James could stand up straight.
“Oi, Prongs, takeaway tonight? Reggie, you're staying.” Sirius said, coming back into the living room with a mouthful of chocolate cake. Regulus was relieved that Sirius had told him he was staying rather than asking if he wanted to. “I’ve put the kettle on,” He told James as he went to sit back down.
“Great, and now you can get cake for everyone and not just yourself,” James ordered, grabbing Sirius by the back of his shirt and preventing him from sitting. Sirius screwed up his face and mumbled profanity at James as James pushed him into the kitchen. Regulus couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He sighed and leaned back, tilting his head into the cushions and closing his eyes. He was exhausted. A lot had happened in the last few hours.
The front door opened again and a tired-looking, very tall man wandered in, yawning widely, his eyes half shut. He dropped his bag and flung himself across the sofa, his head landing in Regulus’s lap, while his arms wrapped around his waist. Regulus froze. The man froze too. He craned his neck back, staring up into Regulus’s face.
“You are not Sirius,” He stated. Regulus shook his head.
“Moony, Regulus. Regulus, Moony,” Sirius introduced them, not seemingly bothered by the fact that Remus was currently sprawled over Regulus.
“Hi,” Regulus said quietly.
“Moony's my nickname. You can call me that, or Remus. Whichever you prefer,” Remus told him gently before untangling himself from Regulus and going to greet Sirius. He kissed Sirius on the lips but yanked his head away as soon as they’d made contact and stared at him.
“It’s in the kitchen,” Sirius said, and then Remus was gone. A groan came from the kitchen a second later and Sirius snorted.
“Remus loves Effie’s cake more than he loves me,” Regulus now realised that Remus was Sirius's boyfriend. That made a bit more sense.
“I’m sorry,” He blurted out. “He was on me before I could stop him,” He really hoped Sirius wouldn't be offended and told him to get out. But Sirius shrugged it off.
“It’s fine, don’t worry,”
Remus and James came back with the tea things and plates of chocolate cake. James sat back with Regulus on the sofa, while Sirius took his chair again. Remus hesitated a second before he chose to climb onto Sirius’s lap, obscuring Sirius until he got himself settled. Grinning down at his large slice of cake. This was the weirdest tea party Regulus had ever been to.
“So, Chinese for dinner?” James asked, sliding his hand into Regulus’s again. Regulus nodded at him as he took a bite of the chocolate cake James handed him. He let out a groan.
“It’s the best, right?” Remus said, grinning at him. Regulus had no words, so continued to nod as he took another bite.
Next part
#october 29#jegulus#jegulus microfic#jegulus fanfiction#jegulus fic#james potter#regulus black#james fleamont potter#regulus arcturus black#jfp#r.a.b#the marauders era#harry potter#james x regulus#regulus x james#regulus and james#james and regulus#dead gay wizards#james potter x regulus black#jegulus fluff#jegulus au#sirius black#the black brothers#remus lupin#effies chocolate cake#ohhhhh remus is his boyfriend#sirius knowing regulus#james and sirius best buds#you are not sirius#climb
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leave me again ii // rafe cameron
pairing: rafe cameron x routledge!reader (she/her), ex!jj maybank x reader
summary: you left the cut with nowhere to go. it’s rafe cameron that finds you and shows you the life you deserved to live
warnings: sorry jj lovers, that man does not get our girl back so sad jj and probably ooc rafe but i love it when that man is soft
navigation || part one
--
Six months.
It had been six months since any of the Pogues had seen you. No social media, no sight of you around town, no letters. Nothing.
The past six months left you to do a lot of reevaluations. You’d walked aimlessly after the group had left for the dive with nothing but your backpack and phone, no destination in mind. Until you found one.
“Lost or something?”
“Fuck off, Rafe,” Your response was instant as you continued to walk without sparing him a look. The car shifted into a different gear, you guessed by the noise, before Rafe was hopping out to approach you.
“Are you okay?” When you didn’t answer, he moved in closer and grabbed your shoulder before turning you to face him. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”
You stared at him with the knowledge that you probably looked like a mess with the tear streaks across your cheeks. While Rafe had a lot of issues with your friends and brother, he usually stayed clear of you. Whether that was because you were close with Sarah, or what, you didn't know.
Twisting your fingers together, you dropped your gaze as tears started to build again. “You ever watch someone you love choose someone else over you, every single time?”
The question felt like a punch in the gut to Rafe. He had. His whole life he watched his dad choose Sarah. Watched his mom choose another family over him. Watched Wheezie choose another sibling over him.
“Get in, I’ve got somewhere to take you.”
Six months ago, you hopped in Rafe Cameron’s Range Rover and left The Cut behind. You didn’t question the decision, knowing you’d worry about everyone else before taking care of yourself, and that clearly didn’t work in the past. You felt horribly guilty about leaving John B with no indication whether you were okay or not, but you knew if one of them found out, JJ would be busting down the door to Rafe’s bedroom before you had a chance to say no.
While you weren’t sure what the original intentions had been, Rafe was so different with you after bringing you back to his new house. One he’d bought after selling Tannyhill, free from the haunting of his father and the screams that echoed off the walls, he had turned it into a safe space for himself and anyone he invited in.
Things blossomed quickly and you realized the Rafe in front of you was not the bully, coke-head addict you’d once known. He was such a gentle person, and so much more attentive to you than JJ had ever been. Whether it was making you breakfast in bed before you left for the day, or prepping a warm (actually warm, like hot water you’d hadn’t had in forever) candle lit bath, or popping an expensive bottle of wine just for you to taste, he was there in ways nobody had been. You were his girl, his only girl, and you never once had to question that.
Rafe had even invited you to sit in on his investment meetings and he was slowly pulling your name into his business so you’d have a professional background to grow into. You were steadily becoming an educated little couple in his home, something he was so proud and grateful for. He had someone to lean on for advice and give him fresh eyes on new projects with no judgment or fear of anger. The two of you soaked up your bubble of peace for as long as you could before shit hit the fan.
Little did you know, on the other side of the island with your brother, there had been absolutely no peace. John B and JJ barely spoke, everything ending in an argument when they did. Pope was sick of playing mediator, and Kie had more of less shut down out of guilt. Sarah was still searching for you, but you’d gone ghost. Cleo was treading lightly with the knowledge that everything would explode eventually.
So, they did what they could, and dove into treasure hunting. When JJ pulled the amulet out of his pocket in the back of the Twinkie, John B’s emotions were mixed. Sure, he was stoked that he’d found the object the group was looking for, but he wished you were here. It was your birthday, and John B was inches away from losing his shit without you.
“Dude, are you okay?” Pope asked as the group stood in the office area of the house, trying to find more information on the amulet’s inscription.
John B tossed the heavy object on the desk in frustration. “No, I’m not okay! We can find decades old treasure like it’s the easiest thing ever, but we can’t find jack shit about my sister? That’s bullshit, Pope. And you know it.”
Pope knew things would be sensitive today. Even JJ woke up grouchy, which John B told him was deserved since he caused your absence in the first place. The lack of your presence weighed heavy on the group, so Pope suggested going to visit one of your favorite beach spots.
Little did he know what he was getting himself into.
--
“Rafe!” The house was filled with your laughter as Rafe twirled you in the kitchen lighting, your favorite song playing from the interactive speaker on the counter. The two of you had spent the day together, visiting the country club for lunch before Rafe took you shopping for something to wear tonight.
“C’mon, sweetheart. Lemme love on you, it’s your birthday” He mumbled as he pressed soft kisses into your neck, hands squeezing your hips teasingly. The soft fabric of the dress he’d picked out covered your frame, the color matching your skin perfectly.
You hummed in content, fingers holding his biceps tightly as if your knees would give out any second. “You loved on me a lot this morning.”
“Can’t help it.” Rafe’s thumb traced your bottom lip before he kissed you softly. “You make it so easy.”
The two of you got lost in each other for a few more moments, soaking up the quiet as the orange sunset started casting through the windows. Today had been the best day you’d had in so long and you were so grateful of Rafe for giving you so much patience and love.
It had taken time for you to adjust to this kind of life. You walked in here with three outfits to your name, a busted cell phone, and a stuffed animal John B won you at the town festival as kids. And Rafe embraced every bit of it, let you keep your Pogue pieces while building you a life around it that was filled with items you needed but would never ask for, all while loving you so gently.
You climbed out of his car (technically the one he’d bought you but you refused to acknowledge that), and stepped down into the soft sand below. This was your spot, the spot you came to whenever you needed to clear your head or take a moment alone. You’d shared it with Rafe shortly after everything changed, and now, it was a shared spot that you both considered special.
Rafe moved around the car to grab your hand and guide you toward the area he had organized for the two of you. A small white table had been set up with your favorite snacks and two glasses of wine, surrounded by the fluffiest blanket and pillows you’d seen.
“Did you do this?” You squeezed his hand tighter, tears in your eyes at how sweet and thoughtful the gesture was. Your jaw dropped as the two of you walked closer; everything was thought out down to the tiny forks you loved so much being there to pick up the appetizers.
“Course I did, baby.” Rafe kissed your temple softly and grabbed one of the glasses to hand to you before taking hold of his own. You clinked your glass against his, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss him deeply in appreciation.
And then everything went to shit.
“What the fuck?”
Rafe’s hand tightened against your lower back, both of you looking over to see the handful of figures standing a few feet away. Your heart went to your throat went you made eye contact with your brother, whose hand was wrapped in Sarah’s. JJ stood behind him along with Kiara, Pope, and Cleo, all of them looking at you expectantly.
“Shit,” You whispered and took a step back from Rafe, eyes meeting his in dread. His expression had hardened at the sight of JJ, all the anger rushing back when he thought about how you’d been treated in the relationship, how unfair everything had been. You clocked the frustration in his gaze and placed your fingers on his cheek to redirect his focus back to you. “Don’t. I’ll handle it.”
Rafe’s jaw ticked but he didn’t argue as you slipped your wine glass back into his hand and left his side to approach the group standing in front of you. You weren’t even worried about JJ or Kie, you were worried about John B more than anything.
“Hi,” The greeting was so quiet you almost didn’t hear yourself. How do you talk to people you disappeared on six months ago?
John B’s only response was to pull you into the tightest hug he had ever given. You stumbled with the force of his body colliding with you before regaining your balance and returning the embrace.
“You’re okay,” He repeated the words to himself as if convincing his mind that they were true before stepping back and holding your cheeks in his hands. The smile on his face was huge, and you were so so confused. “Holy shit.”
“Hi,” You laughed quietly, placing your hands on top of his. “I’m so sorry.”
John B shook his head, his thumb brushing the random tear from your cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I told you to take a break, yeah? And you did.”
You glanced back to where Rafe was surprisingly conversing with Sarah with no anger in sight. The pit in your stomach slowly disappeared as you took them in and turned your attention back to John B. “I um… there’s a lot to catch you up on, and I want to tell you. I wanna tell you all of it, JB, but-”
“And I wanna hear it,” He reassured softly. “But someone put a lot of effort into your night and I don’t wanna steal any of it.”
You were so goddamn grateful for your brother. Pulling John B into another hug, you spared the look over his shoulder to see Kiara stomping away from the beach. You tried to keep a smirk off your face but it definitely made its way through.
Stepping back from John B, you shared hugs with Cleo and Pope, promising that you would see them soon before you were face to face with the reason you made it here in the first place. JJ looked rough. His hair was chaotic, arms thinner than you remembered, and he just looked tired.
“I don’t want your apology,” You spoke as he opened his mouth. “And it looks like you have a girlfriend to go find anyway.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” JJ replied quickly as he stared at you. “Not anymore.”
You pulled your lips in and shrugged. “Okay. I’ll see you around, JJ.”
He reached a hand out toward you when you moved to walk away. You paused just out of his reach and looked back. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”
You nodded. “I know. I should be thanking you actually, because if you had said it back to me that day, I wouldn’t have found something so much better.”
And with that, you walked away from JJ and the empty promises he had always given, walked away straight into the arms of someone who would give you the world and more, if you just so much as asked.
--
navigation
#outer banks x reader#outer banks#obx x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#john b routledge#outer banks jj#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#john b routledge x sister!reader#routledge!reader#pogues x routledge!reader
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Miss You
Synopsis: you and your boyfriend hyunjin haven't seen eachother for months due to busy schedules, one day you catch him crying about not being the best boyfriend
C/w: smut, unprotected sex, established relationship, angst with fluffy ending, hyunjin is kinda sub? (idk what old me was thinking, it was in my drafts)
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The relationship seemed to be sinking, both of you trying to deal with personal problems outside the relationship. Struggling with thengs you weren't in charge of but still had to deal with, thought you two never argued or fought but you never really had time to even do that.
Hyunjin would be always in the deep end thinking about what to do to keep you in his life. He truly loved you and didn't want to let go of you but even if you stayed the guilt of not being committed to the relationship.
You would be so caught up in so many problems, that he would never understand but the only common problem you Two shared was the guilt of ghosting each other.
The days went by so fast, you couldn't even call him. You didn't blame him for not calling you first or not planning things with you because you were going through the same thing and could relate to his excuse.
Dispite living under the same roof, you two barely saw each other, you were gone in the day and he was gone in the night. And coincidentally those days when you have night shifts, he has day shifts meaning you'll never get to see him.
You couldn't even tell if he was home or in the dorms practicing in the company.
Since when did time fly so fast? How long has it been since you saw him in person?
.
Those reckless days, you're heart was crashing. Problems after problems on your hand.
That day you just felt like you wanted to see him, seeing him might ease your heart. You stood outside the building waiting for him to come out, it was day time, a meeting he was attending. The meeting was supposed to end so long ago. What was he still doing in there? Was he gonna stay in the dorms?
You were greeted by the members as you entered their apartment. His door was unlocked and he was huddled up in his blanket on his side, his back facing you.
You thought he was sleeping, you went closer but heard sniffles coming from the other side. Wait... Was he really crying?
You sat at the edge of his bed. He began to speak.
" hyung, I feel like I don't deserve her, she needs someone who's involved in her life. I wanna see her so bad."
He thought it was one of the older members sitting in his bed. You came closer and brushed a strand of hair from his face as his gaze widens at the sight of you.
" y-y/n? What are you doing here?"
" I just wanted to see you, it's been so long. I guess I should've known how hard it was getting for you. I should've visited you earlier."
He sat up right wiping his tears and hiding his face in his palms.
" hey, don't hide from me. Who said you don't deserve me? Sometimes I think I don't deserve you at all. I mean I don't even get the time to attend your concerts or fansigns."
You said calmly holding his hands flashing a soft smile at him.
" sometimes I think you would be happier with someone like jeongin or Lee know. They would hold your hands, stay by your side, visit you. -"
You shush him. He stared at you like you were a mythological creature as anither tear slipped down his face, he continued to look at your face with pure content as tears slipped endlessly down his eyes. You wiped away every single one of them.
" I thought I was a bad girlfriend for not being there for you, not visiting you, not calling you. I could understand where you would be coming from. We're too busy-"
"please!" he held your wrists that were on his cheeks.
" a-are you alright?"
" please don't leave me. I'll change for the better I swear!" you couldn't believe what you were hearing. Your heart dropped at his words.
" jinnie I'm not gonna leave you, why would I leave you? I just told you it's not your fault."
" I-I just can't think of being without you. Even if you're not here, atleast you're mine."
He hugged you and you ran your fingers through his hair not saying a single word letting hin cry all he wanted, it's been haunting him for months.
" I don't know what got into you but, all I know is that you've got it all wrong."
You cooed him while he soaked your shoulder with tears. You felt terrible for him, how could he think like that?
You stayed like that for a while letting him crying all he wanted in your shoulder as you sat on his lap on the edge of the bed stroking his back and hair till he finally ran out of tears.
" Don't look at me, I look so ugly like this. I should be the one comforting you when you're upset."
" sweetheart, you're always beautiful, atleast to me you're always perfect, and if I don't comfort you then who will? It would be one sided."
You cupped his face in your palms and wiped his tears with your thumbs smiling at him. He still looked so pretty even after crying.
" Want me to make you feel better?"
You could feel him nodding against yours shoulder and lightly kissing it, you smiled to yourself.
.
The room was locked and he was on the edge in the bed with only his shirt on, you straddling on his lap, holding his face in your hands.
" you're so pretty gosh" you whispered
" I wish we did this often, I missed this so much."
You clenched around his cock making him gasp, you put the hair stands on his face behind his ear.
" I miss your face, your kisses, your hugs, your touches, your voice, your warmth, your cuddles, I missed you alot."
He purs against your palms, his lips pouting. His face still tear stained.
Suddenly you feel his grip on your hips, lifting it and moving it to a faster pace.
"faster.."
You were riding him clenching tight on him, and he was loosing it, his mind was going dizzy reeling back and forth with lust.
" I missed you too..."
He was moaning too loudly now, you had to kiss him to swallow the deep, lewd, lustfilled noises leaving his mouth.
He came not too long after with tears, panting mess, crying again.
" it felt so good, I missed having sex with you.."
You came right after him, wiping his tear.
"I wont leave you"
You whisper and press a soft kiss on his forehead
#kpop#skz#stray kids#skz angst#sub!idol#sub!hyunjin#straykids hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#Hyunjin#Hyunjin angst#Hyunjin smut
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 2: Retro
#would you look at that- it’s another hfff drawing#incredible#some Hollowebby for the soul#I just really think they’re neat yknow#This isn't one of my favorite drawings but hey thats alright#that's cool#they can't all be bangers but for what it's worth it isn't horrible#anyways yeah#now i'm going to go work on Art Fight stuff#very exciting#I don't know how much I'm going to be able to do for it but I guess we'll find out#so much drawing this summer#it's crazy i've been out of school for two weeks and i've drawn like 10 things already#these hands cant stop wont stop#Anyways I love the idea of them skating#I'm a roller blader myself but the skates are cute#did some fun textures and reflections in this one too#I love roller blading tho#wish I could do it more often#fun fact: despite it's portrayal in minecraft- obsidian ranks at a 5-6 on the mohs hardness scale- being the same hardness as opal or glass#idk that's what i came up with for todays fact- i feel like most people know that one but idk#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#hollowebby#miss holloway#webby#hatchetfield#nightmare time#starkid#team starkid#kim whalen
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DAY 75: onehat
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#siffrin isat#isat act 6 spoilers#twohat spoilers#isat spoilers#yea im tagging the onehat post twohat spoilers. watch me#..do we know what time of day it is when siffrin goes to the favor tree?#i always imagined the evening for some reason.#um so anyways. hey do you guys ever think about onehat. do you think about it#do you ever think about how siffrin never learning about loop and never getting closure with them#is just as valid of an ending as twohats. you dont have to get twohats. loop getting some catharsis isnt necessary to siffrin's narrative.#they asked to be here. they were here to help siffrin. and they did. and it ended#that's it.#i've always wondered if loop saw siffrin perform the ritual for them#i wonder if it would comfort them or not. if you ask them if they're a ghost they say yes (and no) after all#the tree is their grave.#something something from main character to stage director to sponsor to corpse#and with how arcane the prereqs for twohats are. yes you can get them naturally on a first playthrough but it's definitely not the majority#experience especially playing blind.#to give loop an ending you have to reach back in with both hands and grasp at that connection#i dont rlly know how to articulate it but it makes me feel a kind of way tbh. you only learn the prereqs (w/o guidance) by talking to loop#very frequently and paying attention to the hints they drop to you about the coin. labor of love situation#self love. siffrin reaching back for loop. We Are Getting Out Together Bitch#Is this anything i dont know that it is#idk onehat fascinates me a lot and im not even gonna touch on the onehats playthroughs where u actually do get the prereqs#i think there is a slight tendency among some fans tocharacterize loop as. more vindictive than they are? i guess?#it's easy to stare down loop's big twohats breakdown and see them bare their fangs and look into their anger#but loop's willingness to fade into nothing and leave siffrin alone shouldnt be forgotten i dont think
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Bitty update! Or I guess bitties (bittys?) update since there's apparently two of them now.
I didn't expect to see much of them after that last encounter since they seemed pretty unhappy about me getting too close, but I kept leaving out food and keeping my eyes peeled just in case. A lot of people have been saying to leave jerky but I haven't been able to find any so I've been leaving out bread and ham, is this okay for them?
Anyway, the other day when I was on my lunch break I saw the horror bitty scurrying around again. He saw me and disappeared which I expected, but then he came back and just kinda sat across from me and ate?? I didn't want to say anything in case it spooked him so we just sort of ate lunch together in silence, but I did try and take a sneaky picture
Is this good? Is this normal for bitties? When he was finished eating he just got up and walked off and I didn't see where he went, but I assume he's not super scared of me if he sat and ate so close right?
Also I found this cute little ketchup jar, I've been keeping it in the fridge since it's been warm in work and I thought they'd like a cool treat. Well I found it like this the other day so I guess that's a yes lol
#UTDR#UTMV#Bitty Boys#Horror bitty#And definitely nobody else this time#I love that I've been thinking about this while busy at work#And I've kind of come up with an ending#Well not an end exactly I guess more like a story?#I kind of know what I want to happen with it down the line#But I'm also toying with the idea of making it like interactive somehow#Like having polls or letting you guys pick an option to do next#I dunno I'll have to let that one cook a bit longer but I do really love seeing people interact with bitty knowledge and advice#Everyone who's ever commented ''you should do this/ bittys are like this'' or ''hey there's another guy in your pic'' I love you#Also fun fact I did buy tiny ketchup jars!#Not JUST for this though it's also because I like ketchup and jars and I'm bad with money#I have used a few of them already so I have plenty of props for later pics lol#My Art
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Ginger and Gingerbread or something, I don't know I didn't grow up with this show
#but the truth is NO ONE GREW UP WITH THIS SHOW!!! I came up with the project!!!#...well I guess that means I did grow up with it lol#anyway#Ginger (right) and Gingerbread (left) is a series about a sister and brother gingerbread cookies that get stuck in Gingerbread land#thanks to -and I'm not joking- a peppermint watch Gingerbread has that can traverse dimensions#It also included their Aunt(?) Cake and their cousins as well as the annoying next-door kid Sugar- I mean Sergeant#(who of course has an incessant crush on Ginger)#(but he does get better I promise)#theres also a human antagonist a cookie version of said antagonist and a “pretty” girl named Pepper who everyone (Ginger) hated#(and likewise Gingerbread had an incessant crush on Pepper but unlike Sergeant it does NOT get better with those two)#(also Pepper is Human Gingerbread Cookie whatever's cousin. So that's fun!)#The cousins were the most generic characters ever but I still love them#They were Cutie (the baby) Hungry (the... self explanatory) Gothy (also self explanatory) Scaredy (need I say more) and Sassy#Sassy was the bratty older teenager with a new boyfriend every week of course.#In the original series Sergeant was adopted by Aunt Cake and he and Sassy had a sibling rivalry#I may just make him an orphan now... lol... but I'll still make the Cake Cousins his found family#why did I not think of the cake cousins as a name sooner#anywho. This show gives me intense 2000s disney channel/CN vibes to me let me know what you think of this 3+ year old idea lol#art#digital art#krita#gingerandgingerbreadseries#gingerbread man#original series#also I gave Gingerbread the hat to improve his silhouette is it dumb or no (/hj)#story idea#original idea#oh I forgot someone! There was a cool girl named Angel(ica) and she was Scaredy's friend who became his girlfriend later in the show#i loved the two#oh hey should I make more of these drawings of the rest of the cast/the cast I want to keep
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anyone else losing sleep over the fact that Cyrano spoke abt willingly sacrificing the chance of ever being happy someday, as long as he knew it would ensure the happiness of someone he loves, to both Roxane & Christian separately — & then had it ripped from him anyway before he was able to make that sacrifice, without ensuring a thing? yeah me neither
#Cyrano de Bergerac#quotations#theatre#French#langue et langage#analyses#characters#hey guess what. the word 'bonheur' comes up 5 times in this play. this is 4 of them#(the other one was Cyrano saying 'le bonheur est là !' right before he was abt to confess to Roxane at Arras.#his Happily Ever After was on his tongue then. he could taste it. & lost it for good in mere moments)#anyway I just think it's wild that it's almost exclusively Cyrano who uses this word in the whole play#& almost exclusively in the context of the death of his happiness. not like...being happy#ofc the boys in act IV aren't outright saying 'I would sacrifice my chance at happiness for you' the way Cyrano did to Roxane#but also...they basically are? 'how do you expect me to go on knowing I caused you to sacrifice your chance at happiness?'#OR RATHER '...knowing that you sacrificed your happiness for me?'#god. an OT3 would've saved so much of this tragedy#but none of these pretty heartfelt words mattered in the end anyway! it didn't matter whom Cyrano was going to sacrifice his happiness for!#bc it was ripped from him 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊#sorry king too slow use it or lose it#although I suppose he was sacrificing it for both of them by the end#he became rlly concerned w the idea that Christian know Roxane loves him#as much as he was concerned w keeping Roxane as happy as she could be in widowhood by keeping her husband's memory radiant#(even though all her rosiest memories of Christian were of Cyrano. as she told Christian at Arras much to his consternation)#((that whole weeping dialogue as she is dragged from Arras praising Christian. praising Cyrano.#& Cyrano is forced to accept the adoration the compliments the fact that she sees him in this light. & yet never claim it))#(((*ugly sobbing intensifies*)))
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🏩 and 🧶 for whichever two you'd like to answer for ! (@dmclr)
Thank you so much for the ask!!! I completely forgot somehow that I reblogged an ask game and so when I came back to this I was like.. woa!!! It was like a free surprise for myself I love it.
I'll do these for Jackson and Lightning cause they have been on my mind this morning🥰
🏩 - how does your f/o act when they're sick?
Depending on how sick he is depends on how long he will last, but Lightning spends the first hour or few of him being sick being "I'm completely fineee! It's just a few minor symptoms.." and then regaurdless of if the symptoms actually progress or not he completely crumbles and caves in and needs to be doted on. This happens regaurdless of how sick he is, even if it's just a runny nose and a headache with some sneezing he will eventually reach a point of pouting and claiming that he can't leave his bed(super effective on me, I will absolutely dote on him without hesitation). Though once he's better he normally ends up trying to bashfully deny ever acting in such a manner, or that anyone that was "that sick" would also have been in that state!
Jackson hardly ever gets sick, so he will completely refuse to believe he is sick until the very last minute or it reaches the point that he can't deny it anymore. He absolutely can not stand being sick though, and he will immediately go and take medicine and go through a cycle of really hot showers, hot foods, swaddling himself with heating things and blankets, and trying to sleep his way through the entire thing so he can just drive any of the sickness out of him as quick as possible. If anything I'm there to keep him from going overboard and roasting himself alive(especially if he's already running a fever) and keeping him from driving himself mad. Being sick already sucks, don't need to be sick and upset on top of it!
🧶 - other than their main hobby/career, what other sorts of things do they like to do?
I think I mentioned this before in like the biggest tangent ever, I can't remember what prompted it, funnily enough I think it mightve been in responce to something you asked as well, haha!! But Lightning actually really loves dinosaurs and going to museums and just getting to infodump a bunch. He will hardly turn down a challenge to things and likes to push himself and can be a bit competitive(some times a little less playfully than others), but he has moments of totally just wanting to kick his feet up and relax, watch some documentaries or to just let himself doze off.
Jackson is often understimulated most of the time and has trouble finding things that don't leave him feeling bored or empty/unsatisfied, and it's partly why he sticks to games, or moreso one racing simulator game in part because it was one of the few things that he actually enjoyed as was good at. He keeps himself very reserved, and even something as simple as just finding out what he enjoys is something he keeps close to his chest, but truthfully I think he kinda enjoys and prefers to getting to kinda be more of a tag-along in things, or at least, he does with me. That way if he's bored he can engage as much as he'd like, and if it's too overwhelming for him he can seperate himself or just leave whenever he wants. There's a little bit more to it than that because he can at least be open about it with me(even if he doesn't have the nerve to be very direct about it, believe it or not) and it's not perfect in every situation, but it's easier for him to just be on the sidelines and commentate or be an observer. He definitely has a fondness for techno/digital stuff like video games and LED lights in rooms and RGB keyboards and lights in gaming computers, etc., and he enjoys rediculous(/positive) tehcno/electro dubstep sorts of music. I'd be impressed if you caught him listening to anything else. I don't think he ever really got the chance to explore himself or his interests or what he'd be interested in very much in the first place, so it's really nice to kinda get to explore that with him and find out :)
#i was rambling about the book Jackson has written about his backstory earlier to someone and it is STILL on my mind now#say hi to him yall he got me in to all of this. he's the start of it all and the kickstarter of me getting into Cars#i kid you not i heard his voice and my brain was so upset with the immediate feelings induced in me that it deleted the memory#then my brother was like “hey i got this funny game wanna play it” and i was like. sure. remind me of who is who again#he was like HOW did you forget you literally saw the movie and i was like.. I DID!?#and then after playing for a while i rewatched the movie and GUESSED WHAT HAPPENED#feelings RETURNED. And i was like ah screw it im gonna watch the rest of the movies and kiss them anyway#i love telling that story and I've probably told it a hundred times. Im like an old elderly person who keeps retelling the same five stories#and you just gotta sit through it and smile and be like..how sweet... i love that for you..#i dont even know if i can blame this on the nuereodivergant “i love repeating the same things over and over again” thing#but yesm thank you for the ask!!!😊 always appriciated sm#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping#lightning❤️🧡💛#jackson🖤💙
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maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there
#its not just that its also cuz she knew she wouldnt have a lot oftiem in the semester & also shes entitled to her experiences but its like#all summer we talked aboutall the things wed do together whenwe got back to campus so its like#all of that imagining is going to waste you know. and it makes me really really sad#cuz we had so many plans only for all of them to go in the air a week before school starts#and i guess i feel let down about all of it (which isnt her fault) because why did we say all that only for us to break up :(#and she told me breaking up was something sehd only recently started thinking about so its like#the emotional part of me is wondering why cant we just wait it out for a few weeks and find out of this is really worth saving you know#cuz it just feels so sudden like we werent meant to end just yet#it doesnt feel right. like we literally only just started you know#and she said she didnt feel like dragging me along whiel she figured shit out#which is kind btu i guess to me its like i would prefer being dragged along because at least then ill start to feel the pain of it too#cuz where we are right now i didnt even feel any sort of weirdness i thought everything was going so well#like id rather break up when i do feel something bad#not BEFORE i feel something bad you know???#but also its more than just about that. like she told me that she felt werid and i dont think she would have broken up with me for no reaso#like im sure she did it becuase she felt right about it and im not mad at her about it#im just really really sad cuz i really thought we were doing so good. like just last week she was saying how much she missedme#sorry ugh i know im ranting so much about it but i dont feel like bringing this up with my friends yet cuz its just so embarrinsg being lik#hey so you know how totally obsessed we were with each other. well we broke up not even 5 months later haha so embarrsing#like it all just feels like... what did we do all that for!!! what did we spend all summer telling each other we loved each other for!#but again just cuz i didnt feel like it was the end doesnt mean she didn't. she did say she felt werid but ughhhh i dont fucking know#im just really surprised and sad about it
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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i think i understand dating now. you find a person that seems cool and you become their friend but in a romantic way until you. actually love them. yes?
#bluebird.txt#i am schrodinger's understander of romance#90% of the time i'm like why would anyone date a stranger#why would you do that#like you have a friend then you get close to that friend then become romance??#i had a HUGE crush on a girl earlier this year and then one day i made a new friend- NO romantic feelings for her at all-#but suddenly my crush evaporated in an instant? i just stopped thinking abt her or feeling anything when i DID think abt her. completely.#but like. you meet person. become friend. then you love them. then romance. yes?#that's always been my thought process of how it works#so now i’m like oh that's how Dating works! you just pick a person and fuck around and find out if you'll love them????#it's like friendship but with. romance. hey does anyone fucking know what romance is by the way#I Don't Know Anything Ever 👍🏼#also do people really see other people and think wow i want to fuck them#bc like. i've seen hot people i like hot people but i don't think ive ever seen a hot person and thought about sex#i’ve been like wow they are extremely attractive to me but never wow i want to fuck that#is that actually how people feel? they see an attractive person and they get horny? just like that?#like physically in your genitals horny??#i'll shut up now. once again I Don't Know Anything At All 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼#i WANT to date someone to know what it's like but what i really want is to fake date a friend#fuck all this shit i really might be aroace. i fucking might. i am so not sure about anything.#who give a shit i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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