#i made a deal with myself that if I got a job within the year I was allowed to buy myself either a pokemon plushie or a physical pokemon

[sugardoodle]

Anyone else ever, like, get a new job because you had a few gripes about your old one? But then you get there and you realize you didn't consider how much it sucks to start at square one, and honestly you had it pretty good?

Just me? Fuck.

[trashcreatyre]

Guess who got a job at a bakery

[teaboot]

This is a bit random but I've been feeling like I'm just wasting some of my best years (I'm 17) and I want to do stuff but I never do anything and idk you seem someone with a really rich and interesting existence so uhhh got any tips please?

Yo, 17?? No worries bud, your life hasn't even STARTED yet. You're just lining up to go. "Best years of your life" is a dumb as hell concept, I wasn't doing jack shit all at 17.

I wanna say my best years were after I hit "adult" status and started doing stuff on my own, but honestly, it changes every year. Each year getting older is better than the last, because each year I get more confident and try more new things and find new stuff to get excited about.

And know what's made each year good?

It hasn't been degrees, or careers, or wild and crazy experiences, or life-threatening scenarios.

Time and time again, the best parts of life have been carving out a place for myself.

Going to bed in clean sheets. Being satisfied by a full cupboard of washed dishes. A hot shower after the gym. Visiting a shop I've never been in before. An afternoon of coffee with a friend. Getting up early on a day off work, putting on some music, and just goofing around my apartment till bedtime. THAT is what has made each year better than the last. Growing into my own skin, learning who I am and what I love.

They tell you in school that your job will be this huge thing that dominates everything about your future. And it can be! But as someone who was terrified of "messing up" and not getting to "live my dream", it's really not a big deal. I found a job that pays well enough to support my real life, and I live that real life as best as I can.

It's a highly personal thing to ask, what makes life worthwhile, but for me personally, I'd say I've found the most satisfaction not in the pursuit of the extraordinary, but in learning to find the extraordinary that already exists within the mundane.

Discover new music. Try new things. Go to places you've been invited. Do your laundry. It's really kind of wonderful

[hellyeahsickaf]

Abled people don't fucking get it.

You don't get to imply I'm living some kind of "forever vacation". It's perpetual pain. If you see me doing something I enjoy, it's not because it's what I'd rather be doing than being "productive". I fucking miss the gym but things like video games are just a much more accessible activity these days. I'm not "lounging", I don't get a break from the pain just that sometimes I'm able to take my mind off of it

Unemployment isn't some kind of break or excuse to not participate in society (capitalism is garbage but being disabled=/=unemployed for the hell of it). For reasons, I fell behind in school, bad. But I got myself a diploma equivalent and finally felt I'd chosen the line of work I wanted. I had connections, opportunities. I had fibro and some fatigue (unknowingly CFS as that was manageable) but I was getting PT and managing it as best I could. All I needed was to take courses and I was ready for that even with the difficulty of my then undiagnosed ADHD.

And then I got sick, really sick. Worst mono infection my doctor had ever seen due to medical neglect, Shoutout to those shitty CVS minute clinics. It made my ME/CFS so much worse, I was stuck in bed all the time before getting put on Adderall for my then newly diagnosed ADHD. Then I thought the fatigue was finally healing and a side effect of Adderall was a huge crash and wave of fatigue. No it turns out when it wore off I just felt the fatigue again lmfao

I was told I'd be better within 6 months. Okay so I can opt for the Spring semester, no big deal. 8 months go by, a year, a year and a half. I waited and waited. Hoping that "when I get better" I could be caught up with everyone else I knew my age. That was over 7 years ago. Do people think I wanted that all taken from me? To get progressively worse and worse?

Do they think loss of agency is something I enjoy? Needing help, being unable to drive, to enjoy my old hobbies, cook for myself regularly? I've been accused of enjoying this and not wanting to get better as if this hasn't put my head in very dark places. Sometimes I feel like I see a way out of this and it isn't recovery. They don't get it. I don't enjoy being heavily medicated but I know I need to be. I don't enjoy having things purchased for me because I want more financial independence. I don't enjoy feeling like a leech, actually.

It's not a vacation, it's hell. You can go on about how much more exhausted you are because you work or whatever but the thing is I don't need a job to feel what you feel after working. I feel like I worked a 12 hour shift after taking a shower on some days, no exaggeration. You can't compare your able bodied exhaustion to the effects of a chronic illness that fucks you up without you needing to work a full time job. This is my full time job and it wasn't the one I was hoping for exactly

[bad268]

Hi I love your work can you write about justin and a reporter ask a question about you( your relationship is unknown) and he’s loses his temper a lil but Is also trying not to disclose anything.

Private, But Not Secret (Justin Herbert X Reporter! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/NFL

Requested: Clearly (I love him so much)

Warnings: mentions of when Justin broke his leg in college

Pronouns: Third person (They/them)

W.C. 1031

Summary: A reporter takes a question too far, so Justin takes evasive action.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

It all started when they met in college, the University of Oregon. Y/n, a sports journalism major, and Justin, a science major on the football team. A match made in heaven, one would say. Their classes did not overlap a lot, but Y/n was assigned to cover the football team. It was only natural for the two to spark something. 

They began hanging out outside of the games and practices during the summer of their junior year and became official at the end of the football season. The two decided to keep it between themselves because the last thing they needed was people making comments about the quarterback and a journalist being together.

Fast forward a few years, Justin is doing well with the LA Chargers and Y/n has established themself with CBS. Y/n was the lead journalist when it came to the LA Chargers, and they were always reporting on Sundays. Their relationship remained strong, and no one other than their respective families and closest friends knew of the two.

Even though they were on the down low, everyone could see that Justin had a soft spot for Y/n in conferences. No matter the outcome of the game, Justin would smile and give very detailed responses. Heck, he would even banter back and forth with them!

One game in particular, Y/n could not attend. Y/n was visiting family, so they asked one of their newer reporters to fill their space. The game was pretty good for the LA Chargers and Justin with him throwing three touchdowns and running one in himself. Despite being at their parents’ house, Y/n turned on the post-game conference just as Justin came on the stage. All of the journalists were congratulating Justin and asking game-related questions until it got to one reporter. 

“Perla with CBS,” she started, Y/n immediately recognized the voice as their coworker who filled in for them. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but my colleague, Y/n, is not here today.”

“No, I noticed,” Justin chuckled. “They’re at every game and every press conference, so it’s nice to see them taking a break.”

“Many people, myself included, have noticed that you two seem to have a stronger bond than just reporter and player,” Perla scoffed. Immediately, Y/n could sense where the question was going, and so could Justin. “Is there anything happening behind the scenes between you two?”

“That has nothing to do with the game, and frankly, it’s none of your business,” Justin answered monotonously.

“I mean, it’s obvious to everyone that Y/n doesn’t have the proper experience to have this job, so it’s clear that they’re doing some ‘behind the scenes’ favors,” Perla continued, completely disregarding Justin’s first answer and obvious distaste for the question.

“First off, don’t ever talk down on someone like Y/n who is higher up than you,” Justin started off, glaring at Perla through the crowd. “Second, if we were in a relationship, how would I have any say in their job? I have no personal connection to CBS, and I just don’t have that power. Lastly, if you’re going to keep talking shit, you can leave, and we’ll make sure that CBS knows how you aren’t actually working within your role. I don’t think your boss would appreciate that his sports reporter is poking her nose around in topics that don’t deal with sports, right?”

“Are you threatening me?” Perla gasped, surrounding reporters were eating it up. Justin was known for being quiet and reserved, so seeing him lash back was a one in a million shot. 

“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise,” Justin replied. “Slander against Y/n will not be tolerated, especially when I know that they specifically chose you for this gig because they believed in you.”

After the conference, Justin called Y/n on his way home.

“Thank you for standing up for me, J,” Y/n greeted almost immediately after answering the phone. “People need to learn to stay in their own lane.”

“I’ll always defend you,” Justin laughed. “We do need to talk to your boss about that, though. That was unacceptable.”

“I really thought Perla was just misunderstood,” Y/n replied sadly. “Turns out she’s just out for drama.”

“If people are going to keep asking about it,” Justin started, “how would you feel about us announcing us? We could be private but not secret, and I’ll make sure to add that we’ve been together since junior year.”

“If I get to help choose the pictures and the caption, I think it would be best,” Y/n admitted. “Plus, you kind of already outed us during the conference when you said ‘we’ will make sure that CBS knows.”

“For fucks sake,” Justin chuckled in disbelief. “I tried so hard to keep it hidden.”

“Well, now we don’t need to,” Y/n comforted. “Remember, private but not secret from now on.”

The next game day came faster than either were prepared for. Both shared two pictures to their Instagrams with the caption, “Five years and counting.” One of them was taken during the off-season, and the other was of the two sitting on the couch with Justin’s broken leg and Y/n dressed up as a nurse from junior year. The posts gained a lot of traction, but it was now in the open. Neither wanted to change that.

After the game and another win for the LA Chargers, there was, of course, another conference. This time, Y/n was back in their place.

“Y/n with CBS,” they smiled as Justin looked their way. “First off, congratulations on announcing your relationship. You two look very happy together.”

“Thanks,” Justin laughed at the brief teasing. "We've been through a lot together. Couldn't see myself without them, honestly."

“That's cute, but I would rather talk about that last play though,” Y/n quickly got on topic. “A 69-yard throw to Keenan Allen for the game-winning touchdown. With this win, you helped secure your place at the top of your division and a place in the playoff. Tell me, does your arm hurt with these long throws?”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[amedamacherry]

'I told you I could dance'

(Sketch version)

Seto Kaiba & Anzu Mazaki

(Oh yes. I love them! #SorryNotSorry)

A colored sketch I made recently. Might delete it later.

With a close-up of their faces because I kinda like how they turned out 🤭

I haven't uploaded it anywhere else so far and I don't know if I will. It was just an idea that needed to get out of my head. And since I'm no good at writing fanfiction, I went with drawing.

It has been YEARS since I drew anything. I'm out of practice and rusty, but it was so much fun!

I bought a great new convertible tablet with a stylus recently (it's meant for work, but... 🤭) and I finally tried to sketch something out digitally. I wanted to try that for so long, but when I was a student, I never had the money for good hardware. Then, after I got a job and married and had children, all of these within a pretty short time, there finally was enough money, but no time and energy! (Life being life, I guess 😅)

BUT NOW! I finally dug into it. And let me just scream this out loud:

SKETCHING DIGITALLY IS AWESOME!!!

All those tools and possibilities, without redrawing the whole shit because there was something a little bit too big or too small or too far on one side. It's great! And so much fun! I wanna do this much more! ❤️

I'm still no good with actual oulining. Is it really such a pain in the ass or is it just because I'm new to this? Outlining by hand never was such a big deal for me. Anyway, that's why I just went ahead and colored the sketch as it was. I didn't even do it properly, just went with the process and couldn't stop myself. I don't know if I can find the time and energy (!) to make this into a proper drawing one day, but it will be somewhere near the top of my priority list. 😇

[fellthemarvelous]

A heaping spoonful of religious trauma...

What falling feels like.

You want to know what gets to me the most about "Before the Beginning"?

I remember being in first grade (6-years-old) and sitting through a religion class that I hated (to be honest, I despised every religion class I was forced to sit through in school) because the indoctrination process is not even fun. I just got to sit there for like twelve years listening to them tell me lies about Christianity (my world religions teacher in high school was like being forced to sit through a teacher say "Bueller, Bueller" for about an hour 4-5 days per week for an entire semester).

But I digress as this story started off relevant.

I remember sitting through my first grade religion class and (this was 1987-ish, mind you) and thinking "but how do we know that our religion is right and everyone else's is wrong?" By that time, they had made it clear that not believing blindly in Catholicism was worthy of getting into trouble over, so I already knew better than to ask that question because I knew I would be sent to the principal's office. I didn't ask because I was terrified of the punishment when I was only 6-years-old. I already knew there was a price to pay for asking questions. And I can't even remember why I was already so terrified by that point.

Crowley paid a price for asking questions.

It's not like falling is easy. I fully denounced the Catholic church and now consider myself an atheist (mostly), but I will never allow an organized religion to try and define who I am ever again.

There is not a lot of support for this.

Falling is more than just fire and brimstone (so far that's the most appealing part). The worst part of "falling" is the fact that at the age of almost 43, I have NO idea who I am. None at all. I'm falling at a speed and trajectory I can no longer control, and it's been absolutely terrifying. It's been lonely.

I've spent my adult life putting the needs of everyone else above my own. Now I'm trying to find a job within a career I actually want (writing), but that's going to take time. I was traumatized by the Catholic church in so many ways, and I have a lot to say about it.

"How do we know that our religion is right and everyone else's is wrong?"

I wasn't prepared to deal with the consequences of asking that question to the wrong person at 6-years-old. Now I'm wishing I had an adult who was better at being an adult than me to guide me through all of this because I'm currently a giant ball of jobless anxiety wondering if I'm ever going to amount to anything more than what the church told me I would if I dared to lead a life without a husband and children.

I am not responsible enough to deal with "my disaster" (also known as "my life") all on my own. It's an issue of motivation because I have no idea who I am or what I want from life. My identity was decided for me by the church, and I still don't even know what that means.

I just know I'm trying to survive in a literal dystopian world and trying to figure out who and what I am in the middle of everything else. It's confusing and exhausting and so frustrating.

"How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

Once the spell is broken, there is no going back, and most of us end up making this journey on our own.

[dearramiel]

Where I've been.

* I accidentally posted the original text and now I'm going to quickly recap everything

Hi everyone, I noticed that there's a lot of new people who followed me and I made many promises last year about posting content, which I never got around to actually doing because of a situation that occurred.

I know its probably not appropriate to be using these tags, but I just want to share this.

I will probably delete this within the next couple of days.

TW . ABUSE AND SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS

This is messy but I really want to get this off my chest.

During late September and very early October, I was in an incredibly toxic 'relationship' with a person I had met almost a year to date.

I was tired of dealing with constant guilt tripping, threats of self destruction (self harm; etc), as well as drug abuse if I would threaten to leave. This person would often love bomb and compliment / praise me after fights as they knew I struggled with esteem issues.

I would often stay up til early hours of the morning on school nights because of them. I was constantly dealing with heavy anxiety that it had began to take a physical toll on my body. I would often feel so sick to my stomach that I began to actually get SICK.

It had grown to the point where all of my fears and dread had turned into hate and resentment. I hated how much this person had used me and ultimately decided to end the relationship indefinitely, there was protest of course, and as much as it hurt, I ignored all of the threats they had made against themselves.

I was so tired, more than I had ever felt in my life, and at the same time had never felt so much relief. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted but it's also hard to forget how dependent I had grown on their attention and words of 'love'. Emotional manipulation is incredibly scarring and relationships will just never be the same to me.

After the 'break up', I surrounded myself with new people I had met after a job I had taken. I realized that at that point, I didn't even have friends at all. Not until after I had separated myself from this person. Many of my friends from my previous year had either blocked me on socials, or just stopped talking to me altogether. I'm not really sure how that came to happen, and if it really was my fault, but I've grown to accept how different things are now.

I only share my experience, not for 'pity points', comfort, or sympathy, but to remind everyone that you are NOT responsible for threats anyone makes against themselves as a way of manipulation. You are not responsible for whatever happens if they've chosen to follow through with these threats. I can't emphasize how much of an affect this has on one's mental health. It's tiring and exhausting.

[fuck-customers]

(January 9th, 2024) Does anyone know how to get a general manager at Crapotle fired for being a bully?

There's this GM, Jen, who's quite literally one of the biggest assholes in the world. I worked with her sister first, and her sister was nice, so having to deal with Jen was like absolute whiplash.

She's rude and hostile. She consistently tries to claim I have an attitude with her -- I don't, I'm autistic and on the verge of burnout, I don't have an attitude unless someone gives me attitude first -- and is always finding ways to undermine other workers. When she was promoted to GM, she got transferred to a new store, but on the day she was supposed to be at our store for the last time, she made me come into work, despite me telling her that due to the vaccine booster I was still experiencing symptoms and I didn't feel well. I ended up being sent home.

After about two blissful years, a time period in which we ended up getting workers transferred to our store from Jen's store because she's such a shit manager, our old GM got promoted, and we were told Jen was coming back. Two of my favorite coworkers immediately jumped ship, getting new jobs and leaving within days of her return.

I'm miserable at work. I seem to be the only person she picks on. She berates me in front of customers, she leaves me to handle large lines by myself, and if I don't immediately do a task she wants me to do as soon as she tells me to do it, I get yelled at. I very recently came back to work after being out for almost a week due to catching Covid and being so sick I could barely move, and she's just been rude and condescending the entire time.

I'm trying to squirrel away money so I can move out of state, as my home life isn't sunshine and daisies either, but I don't know how long I can go trying to avoid Jen when I work with her almost every damned shift. I can't drive, and there's nowhere within walking distance that are hiring, so quitting isn't an option. I don't think any complaint I make will be taken seriously, if heard at all, and quite honestly I don't trust any of my coworkers to have my back if I ask for witnesses or help supporting my complaints about Jen. I have no way to record her either. It would essentially be my word against hers, and who would the higher ups believe? Probably Jen.

I already have bad mental health, but it's seriously tanking hard. I've been coming home lately wishing to kill myself just so I don't have to go back to work.

Does anyone have any advice? Or should I just keep my head down and hope for the best?

Posted by admin Rodney.

[mgc02]

Hi! Request here!

Could you do a reaction fic with the hotel ensemble or the overlords to a reader who, while an argument or something was going on about the new extermination schedule, just nonchalantly drops this bombshell.

“Ugh, this is just so like heaven! I mean, I pulled stunts for years trying to get kicked out of there and all it took was (insert wimpy reason)? They’re so damn fickle! It’s just, hello, you can deal with me graffitiing porn of myself all over heaven but that’s what gets their goat?”

Thank you! I hope you have fun with it!

Lol that would be interesting

Warning major spoilers for episodes 5 and 6!!!

Cw: mentions of drugs, mention of sex, mention of blackmail, and swearing

Reader accidentally reveals their a fallen angel

Hazbin hotel reactions

Charlie 👑❤️

would be really curious wanting to bombard you with questions

Why would you want leave heaven?

What's it really like?

What good things did you do in life?

Why did you get kicked out for something so small?

Of course if this makes you uncomfortable just say so. She'll try to respect that but it's difficult for her to resist since it's heaven she's been trying to get through to

She'd love for you to help her redeem souls and teach them to be good since you actually made it into heaven

But she'd keep your secret if that's what you wanted

Vaggie 😇

would be shocked that guys have so much in common

She would be a little apprehensive at first because of her trust issues. The last time she saw another Angel things did not end well

But you guys would be bonding in no time. She'd be glad to have someone who knows a little bit of what she went through and understands what heaven is really like.

Although you got kicked out on purpose and she didn't, she doesn't regret the choices she made and you guys definitely are on the same page

She'd keep your secret as long as you'd keep hers

Husker 🐱♣️♦️♥️♠️

To be honest he's the bartender he probably already knew because you got drunk and told him already

And you don't remember so you're confused as to why he's not surprised

If it is news to him he's probably chill about it. Might make fun of you for the dumb reason you got kicked out but he'll offer you a drink

He would probably keep it a secret

Angel 🩷🕷

He would be surprised as anyone would but afterwards he'd have questions

What's hell like?

How much crack would I get away with?

How much fucking would I get away with?

Is there jobs for porn stars in hell?

He just wants to know what his life would be like up there

And honestly he pretends like he's cracking jokes but he is actually interested in learning more

He would definitely tease you about what you said. Something that small and stupid? And you did way WORSE things? All to get yourself sent to hell

He wouldn't take much convincing to keep it a secret for you though. Especially if you guys are friends

Sir pentious 🐍

might just think you're joking but if he realizes your not he might ask you how powerful you are.

He wouldn't likely try to use the information against you but he's not the best at keeping secrets so expect the entire hotel to know within a day

He might even try to keep his mouth shut but he never has any gossip and he feels left out sometimes

Niffty 🔥🔪

"Are there bad boys in heaven?" She says before getting distracted and running off before you answer

You start to think she literally forgot when all of a sudden she casually brings it up in front of everyone

She's a sweet chaotic gremlin but she has no discretion

Alastor 🦌🥩

He would be surprised but super good at hiding it. He'd probably act like he thinks it's hilarious

"You ended up here for what?"

"And you were trying to get kicked out?"

"Oh, that's just sad!" He would laugh at you

He'd be curious about how powerful you are and maybe observe you in secret just to see. And if you have power he'd probably try to make deal with you

Keep your secret though? Let's be realistic he'd blackmail you

[crashtestjeffy]

I wrote this today. It has stuff in it that might trigger you. Suicide, drugs and sex. But everything does so I guess...Anyway. This means something to me if you want to read it.

If I let go the latches that tie down my memories, I can still see it as clear as if I were standing there right now. 

My father - dead on the floor of the tiny bedroom that used to be mine in the bleak two-bedroom apartment I grew up in. The building was a place most people used as transitional housing. Going from nothing to something. But we got stuck there. 32 years.

It was a building in a poor government housing neighborhood. We started out in government housing. Because I was born sick, my parents spent the first 6 months of my life in the city. And it just seemed logical to them to stay. A social worker got them a nice townhouse that was government owned and rent geared to income. 

My dad got a job at General Motors. And the rent geared toward income suddenly became more than market rent. In those days, that was possible. So we moved out after living in the townhouse for four years. Moving out meant we moved to a privately owned apartment building across the street. It had an indoor pool, and we had a balcony. I lived on the 8th floor. Apartment 810. 

My brother and I were three and a half years apart. As soon as he was old enough to leave the crib and move to a bed, we got bunk beds. Me on top and him on the bottom. Because he was a bedwetter and would be till he was 13.

And so it went. 

There was a lot of abuse. There is a lot of dysfunction. My father was a violent opiate addict who was miserable all week long, but on weekends and holidays, he would binge drink in ways I have never seen another human consume alcohol. He'd start drinking the moment he came in from work. Drinking the first six of many beers in an hour. While popping pills, snorting, and smoking anything he could get his hands on. He's never injected, though. "That's junkie shit, and I ain't no junkie.".

My mom was a slow-burn drinker. By the time I was six, she got a job within walking distance of the apartment. And she would drink every day if she could. She hated anything that took her away from her booze. At first, it was a 6 pack a night on weeknights and a dozen a day on weekends and holidays. She was just trying to get a little oblivion. She didn't want to deal with anything, and that was that. She built a bubble around herself, as foreboding as stepping inside the radius of a chained-up junkyard dog. Only right after she would tear your head off, and then she would cry and tell you in one way or another that she couldn't handle this and that no matter what problems you had, they were not her concern; everything else she was dealing with was bigger.

And so it went. 

In my tiny bedroom, I was beaten with everything from a belt to half of a pool cue. Where I was left in a puddle of my own urine on a few occasions when I was hit so hard that my bladder released. Where I would crawl into the corner of the bunk bed, which after a few years required repairs to keep standing and was a white trash castle. And I would sit. And talk to no one, to Jesus, to myself, to the walls, to the gods of good boys—to give me a chance. But it never happened.

I would grow up and leave at 15 and float back and forth on occasion or on a bail order. I would always end up back in that room. I did everything in that room. I had sex in that room. I made a child in that room, a secret that I still wrestle with. I did drugs in that room. I nearly died in that room three times. Once from asthma, once from a beating, and once from an overdose of barbiturates and opiates.

And so it went on and on. 

My daughter would be born, and we'd have visited, and my daughter and I napped in that room. By then, the room had become my father's. My mother kept the other room, and my dad just lived in that room. Computer for hockey stats and playing online games. Bed and a TV. It was as good a cell as any deteriorating man could ask for.

And so it went to goodbye.

Till one day, I got a call from my daughter's mother. "Come home," she said, since I was at work and my daughter was 11 weeks old. I asked why. She said, "Just come home," and I felt it like some kind of Star Wars Jedi vibe. "My dad died, didn't he?" and she broke down, crying and sobbing yes. Okay, I would go home.

Then I hung up and started to gather my things. Then, almost immediately after, my brother called, "Hey, stay where you are at. I am coming to get you; we can go down  together." We had both been living in a smaller city to the north of the one I grew up in. So I went outside and stood on the curb, and the supervisor was yapping at me about breaks and leaving the site. So I pushed him away and said, "You're gonna leave me alone; I am leaving," and he looked at me as if he wanted to fight for a second, and I calculated I had time for a dust up before my brother got there, so I was game. And I immediately thought how funny it would be if my brother showed up to pick me up to go to the big city and I was fighting this guy on the curb. I even laughed. Instead, the supervisor looked at me and said, "Okay, it's not my fucking problem," then turned around and went back inside.

My brother rolled up. I got in, and he spent the first 30 minutes of our drive arguing with his wife. A charming woman who informed him on that very day that she'd been cheating with his good friend. He had her phone, and he handed it to me; it was ringing. Then he lowered my window and said, "Throw that fucking thing out."  We were on a major highway. So I did. 

I asked what he knew, and he said he talked to my mom. My dad had died by OD. It was a suicide. She thought he was just passed out on the floor, which was a regular occurrence. So she left and went to work. My dead father is on the ground. Her unaware. The dogs were alone with him. 

When she got home and he hadn't moved, she knew something was wrong. So she went into his room and saw that he was blue and cold, He was gone. She called 911, and the operator tried to convince her to do CPR, but she told the operator there's no fucking way that's helping. My mother was always pragmatic like that. Then she called my brother and then my daughter's mother because she had her number, but not mine.

My brother and I were sitting in pained silence after he caught me up. And that was that. We were not going to cry together, talk, or reminisce. Until he broke the silence to tell me about his wife and how she was cheating. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I shrugged and said, "Shit man, what are you going to do?" and he must have said something, but my head sank back into silence, and I have no recollection.

We got to my parents place, and there were cops, my mom, and a couple of her co-workers. They were waiting for the coroner. I asked her if she was okay. She explained to me, in the most guilty way I have ever seen, how she had left, how she didn't know, how he was alone with the dogs, and more, but I didn't take any of it in. I just said, "Mom, don't worry, you did nothing wrong; the asshole passed out on the floor lots of times, I would have left the fucker too."

I turned around to see my brother emerging from the hall to the bedroom. His face blank and pained all at the same time. And I said, "The cop let you go in?" and he said yeah, and the cop interjected that I could too, but it was not pretty, he'd been on the floor for twenty hours by then. So I walked past the cop and into the room.

The same little room I was a frightened little ball in. The same room I hung magazine pictures from as a teenager and hid Penthouse magazines in and the same room in furious masturbation sessions, I would wear myself out till I slept. Or I would eat mushrooms and lay in my bed listening to music and watching the lights play on the ceiling, till I got really high and went away.

The same room that I felt like all my damage was held in. 

The same room had a secret box up inside the wall where the radiator meets it, and there is a gap to allow for the pipe. I showed it to my dad as a joke years after I left home and said I hid my drugs there so he wouldn't steal them. He then took to hiding his drugs in there too. As well as in a little corner of his dresser beneath the bottom drawer. There were two lesser spots he used too. I knew them because for years he would freak out and accuse me of stealing his drugs, so I had to learn where he hid his drugs so he would shut the fuck up. When I was a younger guy, it was never that simple. He'd accuse me of stealing his drugs and then break my nose, or beat the shit out of me and take my wallet and empty it, or hit me with a bat. Right there in that little room.

Now my blue/white father lay on the floor. An empty shell. His mouth open, and his eyes were almost closed, but not enough that you couldn't see the whites that had gone a weird pink. His body dappled with dark splotches. Livor mortis. The spots were where blood pooled inside the bag that once held his life. He had no shirt on and a pair of sport shorts. His arms and hands sort of pulled at his chest like a squirrel. And the smell... It is a smell you cannot possibly describe. It was all at once heartbreaking, horrifying, and fascinating. 

And so it went. And it was gone.

Then I turned around and found all his stashes. And then some. In his final hours, he had balanced pills on picture frames and on the head of a soapstone totem pole he bought in the Yukon twenty-five years before. And he had grouped up pictures of my daughter and my brother's son, the boy was three weeks older than my daughter. And it was something magical for him. There was a weird, surreal feeling about it all. I was gathering drugs while a cop stood with his back to me at the door, less than twelve feet away. I could hear my mom and my loud brother talking in the living room next to me. But there I was, knee-deep in death. 

A suicide. He went out angry after trying to call me, and I didn't answer because his drug-rotted brain was just being squirrely, and it had become like talking to a ten year old. He left sad voice messages instead. I was giving my little baby a bath, putting her in her PJS, and handing her off to her mom the night before. I had something more important to do. 

If you don't think the guilt around all that was a fucking bramble and nettle bush that took a long time to work through, you'd be wrong.

All that in that little room.

I would stay really high for most of the next three days. But by then, I was an old hand at being stoned. So I did all the things I needed to. I just didn't feel it all.

And now it's someone else's home. It probably has been a few someone else's home since he died, and my mom disappeared for eight months, reappearing on the east coast, telling me and my brother she was going to stay there and live with her mom. She was not talking to us for a while. Once again. My mother, the queen of avoidance,.

I have been dreaming about this room ever since. three or four times a week. Sometimes my parents are still alive, and they live in the apartment. Or it is just my mom, and she lives in a house, but she brought the room with her. Or my father is in a skyscraper, and the room is there.

When I talk about chains, this is what I mean. This is the kind of life that tears you to shreds as sure as running through razor-wire.

I am empty now. If you made it all the way through., holy hell! You're crazier than me. I hope it was decent at least.

[lady-o-ren]

JUST BETWEEN LOVERS

Ao3 link (HERE)

CHAPTER NINE

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

That particular verse of poetry would sometimes whisper into my ear when I'd find myself ridiculously happy, driving a stake of fear through my chest that only a kiss could quell.  

But sometimes I needed something a great deal more forceful to assure me that I wouldn't be swept away again and wake to a life deprived of love. 

Lucky for me, I knew someone who was more than up to the challenge. He thrived on it actually. 

//

"Aye, lemme hear ye, woman. Lemme hear ye scream," growled Jamie, as he slid his calloused fingers inside me and set me spectacularly aflame.

 . . .

My heart was pounding like thunder when I came to while Jamie chuckled with a ragged smugness against my all too tender flesh that had me squirming and swatting blindly at his head. The bastard only chuckled louder, holding my body still, as he dragged his rough stubbled cheek affectionately against my straining thighs with a fiendish persistence that had me trembling with anticipation. 

All was not over it seemed.

With what little breath I had to spare I smiled and reached for Jamie, looking smug and savage between my legs.

"You arse, come here."

With one last tantalizing kiss that made me gasp and tremble, Jamie heaved himself up over me where my head was thrown back against a pillow and draped by my sex wrecked curls.

"Ye're looking a bit winded there, mo nighean donn. Should I go easier on ye?" He grinned, eyes sparkling, and pinched the tip of my breast, now a rosy sore peak.

"I take it back. You're worse than an arse, Jamie Fraser. You're a bloody tease," I said, swatting at his massive chest between breaths, without an ounce of strength.

Jamie laughed and kissed my nose, my neck, where he'd bitten me earlier. The flushed skin tingling still. 

"Maybe so," he breathed along my ear," but I ken there's nothing ye like more than having yer wretch of a husband worship ye. And I'm doing a damn good job of it, aye, Sassenach?" I arched into his hand in answer, palming at my breast, and was just about to grab him by his gorgeous curls. Those lips of his just a kiss away . . .

"But if ye want me to stop . . ." Jamie pulled away, smirking down at me.

His amusement didn't last long though. 

I dug my fingers into the hard roped muscles of his arms holding him up and locked my legs around his hips, bringing his straining hot erection to the throbbing cradle between my thighs that made his eyes go to slits and mouth to part with a tortured moan. 

"I want you to get on with it," I panted, with a roll of my hips. 

"Ye're a cruel, bossy wee thing, Sassenach," Jamie rasped, rocking hard against me, making my vision blur with each jolt of pleasure.

"I can't help it. We never got to this part. I woke up too soon the last time," I whimpered, trying to capture his mouth, but succeeded in only nipping his scruffy chin between my hands. 

Jamie stopped moving, struggling to keep his wits from unraveling and hips from thrusting home.

 "Those dreams of yers again?" He asked, staring down at me with concern.

Dreams. Glimpses of another life. Whatever force that brought me to Jamie. I didn't question it anymore. But I wanted more than anything to chase the end of what was robbed from me over a year ago. 

"The kind that makes me scream and call you lord and master," I moaned, rubbing myself against him like a damn cat in heat. "Now stuff that big prick of yours inside me or I'll do it myself."

A gleam of wild desire darkened Jamie's eyes.

"Say that last part again," he growled, grabbing the plump fullness of my bottom to maneuver me to just the right angle.

"Make me." 

Jamie bit off an expletive and sucked in a short excited breath, seeing my breasts heave with breathy anticipation as I prepared myself to be punished into well-loved and fucked submission.

But then his expression warmed with sudden tenderness when he lowered his gaze and gently laid a loving hand against the tiny swell of my belly where our child was no bigger than the tip of their father's finger. 

"Weel, I've been told ye ought to indulge expectant mothers."

My hand covered his, daylight glinting off our wedding rings, and together we shared a joyful smile that bridged our hearts together. 

No, this wasn't another dream.

This, here with Jamie, and our child growing inside me, was blissfully real. 

[sir-klauz]

I'm seeing a lot of people posting about how they're glad Genshin has Finally made a 5 star disabled character and are finally representing the disabled community, and whilst yes, they have made another disabled character, it's not the first one, nor the first 5 star! But Baizhu has been long awaited for by many players, including myself!

Huge Reminder that Collei is disabled with chronic illness, and I'm pretty sure Layla has been discussed to have Narcolepsy. Also, many people totally forget Xiao is a disabled 5 star character with chronic pain inflicted by his karmic debt and mental health struggles partly relating to that, and rarely anyone talks about it! I know we are all excited, but, this is another problem.

Less "obvious" (even though if you have got chronic pain, it's the most obvious thing in your life) disabilities get forgotten about, in real life too, hence the ongoing promotion of invisible disabilities or less obvious but just as difficult to deal with ones, needing to be acknowledged.

He is NOT the first 5 star which was made playable!

Xiao was, but for Baizhu, they're more obvious about his health and his power ups that he is in the medical field and has disabilities, also woth the presence of glasses too which is another visible disability

As health a big part of his job and powers too, it's easier to notice, but that's another part of how the people within the community with less obvious physical disabilities get forgotten or missed.

Xiao was the first released disabled character that was 5 stars! A favourite of mine to play since he dropped as he resonates with me gender wise, and with that, I too have serious chronic pain! He has chronic pain induced by his karmic debt, and barely anyone talks about that because it's not been focused on as a part of his character as much as people have with Baizhu.

But yeah, with the drop of Collei as well who also has a chronic illness, and Layla suspected to potentially have narcolepsy and some NPCs in Sumeru having stories being told about their conditions has been great especially as games rarely make main characters that are disabled and as someone who is disabled with mobility aids and chronic pain, it is exciting as this has been my favourite game for 2 years plus now.

So far Xiao has been a saviour for me as well as Genshin as I've played it most days i cannot do absolutely anything and remain bed ridden from my disability and I've wanted Baizhu dropped since he was introduced as well and I'm glad they're making multiple characters with disabilities as it's very real truth MANY gamers have disabilities, and we deserve rep.

[thalassarche]

So, I'm sleepless at 1am and I'm tired and I'm upset so I'm going to get out the shit that has been going on for me the past month and a half, because it keeps leaking out in tags and I guess maybe I should not do that. This is going to be long and it's a huge bummer. I just don't feel like I can come out and talk about it directly to anyone because it is indeed a huge bummer and I just. can't deal with like. the feeling of unloading this on someone and then what. but throwing it into the tumblr void and hiding it behind cuts feels less like I'm throwing a bunch of gross stuff at someone's feet so like, yeah. Content warnings for uh, facing the mortality of aging parents, the American healthcare system being a fucking nightmare, mentions of strokes, infections, and other huge medical problems, and basically stuff being awful.

I have lived with my mom as her caregiver for the past three years, since losing my job during covid. She is six years in remission from breast cancer, diabetic, and in end stage renal failure, meaning her kidneys don't work and she needs hemodialysis 3 days a week. I came in mostly to do things like shopping, the majority of cooking and cleaning, be present in case of falls, things like that. It's worked out, mostly. It sucks that she had to move to AZ to live near her brother simply due to the fact that her cozy little house in MT that she got remodeled to her needs has no dialysis centers within an hour's drive and the closest ones had no open seats anyway, not even for a summer stay, because of the nationwide nursing and technician shortage in healthcare. So she lives in AZ and goes to dialysis 10 minutes away. It works out, sorta. But. Since August 1st:

she had a stroke, which affected the language centers of her brain and made speech, writing, and complex communication difficult

she spent a week in neuro ICU for follow up; this was at a hospital 20 miles away in Phoenix. yes I drove there every day to see her.

she was transferred to a rehabilitation center after that week, where she had several good days but then started to experience severe lower back pain.

the back pain got so severe that she was crying and even screaming when being helped into/out of bed, or having the head of the bed elevated so she could eat.

myself and her other present family were very upset about this, because she was in pain! and also it was preventing progress in her PT/OT after the stroke! we wanted them to do something and find out what was going on!

an xray was done. "no significant findings."

we asked for a CT scan or MRI if an xray found nothing.

it didn't happen. maybe insurance said no, maybe assumptions were made that it wasn't necessary.

but mom spent the rest of her 15 days at that rehab facility on tylenol and then oxycodone.

she was then discharged, and yet in no state to come home.

we found a short-term care facility for her that she'd actually stayed at after her initial ER stay that discovered her renal failure. we thought that she'd do okay there.

she didn't. she declined. she was still in severe pain. MWF for her dialysis, she was basically just, done. and they had scheduled her dialysis at 6am. so. the day was just over, no ability for therapy.

they still just gave her oxycodone so even on good days she was sleeping a lot and very out of it.

we asked to speak to the physician and her case worker. we were not able to.

we asked for her to get further testing instead of just this pattern of throwing narcotics at her and watching her decline. it didn't happen.

at the end of her second week there, she was becoming less responsive and more inclined to just sleep.

she wasn't eating. I tried so hard to encourage her to eat, I even fed her. she still would eat a few bites and then be uninterested in more.

one day she only ate a cup of yogurt.

then she was so badly out of it and barely responsive that I demanded that they do something. so they gave her narcan. because maybe she was too lost in the oxycodone sauce. didn't help, they gave her more. didn't help. they called EMTs.

she ended up in the ER, where they did a CT, MRI, and bloodwork.

(this was a week ago)

turns out she has an infection in her spine. which is osteomyelitis, an infection in the bone and bone marrow that just constantly hurts. oh also numerous pressure sores, including a bad one on her heel, and a bad one on her lower back. either could have introduced the infection into her spine.

that infection has spread to her blood. yeah she's got sepsis.

she also has had at least one additional stroke and her speech has degraded even further.

she spent several days in the ICU and it was very touch and go.

it is still very touch-and-go but she's now in progressive care (pcu) which is a downgrade from ICU in terms of how serious.

but yeah. sepsis is very dangerous for young and relatively healthy people. she is 74. her diabetes means her healing is very slow. her renal failure means that her system can't handle a heavy load of antibiotics so they have to be given more spaced out and in lower doses.

it. sucks.

I still go to see her every day and talk to her even if she's not responding. I sing songs she knows. I put on videos of the church services in her hometown for her to listen to. - it. sucks. so. much.

oh yeah also her place here in AZ is in a retirement park and I can only be here because she resides here. so if something happens even in terms of her moving her permanent residence elsewhere I can't stay here.

I have no income I basically just lived here with her and she covered my expenses as my pay for being her caregiver. so like. looks at the potential need to get independent housing, looks at bank account with $30 in it, laughs darkly and decides I can't think about that.

besides I need to think about how this could be the last time I have left with my mom.

it. sucks.

[sisterofficerlucychen]

Ok so first, let’s jump up and down on the bed in celebration that Chenford is canon - with dates, awkwardness, laughter, joy and kissing - until it breaks like we did when we were 14! Let’s do some cartwheels across the yard, do flips on the trampoline and cheer until we lose our voices! YYYYYEEESSSSSSS!!! WHOO HOO!!

Whew.

Ok, now after we lie on the ground from exhaustion and in awe and wonder looking at the very bright future ahead for our adorkable favorite couple, that WE as fans created (I say to myself often, “look, look, look! I made that!)…

Once we calm down and catch our breath, let’s talk about the rumblings I’ve heard about painful, but-wrenching angst in their future.

What kinds of situations do you think could cause them to pause and consider being apart? Or cause angst or some kind? Some kind of betrayal maybe? I hope to go it’s not anything like Isobel saying they are still married or Ashley being pregnant or Lucy having Sir bounce a lot’s baby. I have no ideas. Granted it’s hard and very premature to consider, but we’ve got 10-12 episodes to go yet this season, I cannot see Alexi letting them off Scott free for the rest of the season.

Any thoughts or ideas on your end? If you were the writers wha would you throw at them?

*jumping up and down, jumping up and down* 

PLS. I AM STILL NOT OKAY AND IT’S BEEN 72 HOURS AND I WILL NOT BE OKAY BECAUSE BY THE TIME I WIND DOWN IT’LL BE TUESDAY AGAIN AND I’M GONNA BE A WRECK. AGAIN. 

omg pls, it’s so exciting and crazy to think of the progression of chenford from s1 to now and how we were able to make it canon when alexi was like “lol no”. i still have thoughts on that but that’s for another day. 

so i definitely see angst and i know that it’s not going to be an easy journey like we’re getting so much cuteness and in love chenford that shit’s going to hit the wall at some point, especially considering how this is just the beginning of the winter season like there has to rising action at some point mid-way through the season or even toward the end to set up the next one. if i'm remembering correctly, season 4 was the only season that didn’t end with a cliffhanger (per se), so they could definitely go that route. considering the ratings from tuesday’s episode, season 6 is coming (and they should just do 7, 8, and 9 at this point imo because i want more years of chenford haha). 

i think there’s quite a bit that they could do and play with and to different extents of it. like i really hope that they find a good balance between bringing up obstacles that have humor in them as well as drama. i don’t think they’d go that route of bringing back isabel as an obstacle or a pregnancy like that’s way too daytime soap. i 100% with you on them not sailing off into the sunset, there’s no way there’s not conflict that’s going to arise.

i think off the get-go, their job is going to get in the way. we already saw it in the last episode where tim had a reaction to aaron talking about how dating within the department would only be a problem if that person is within your chain of command. it’s something they’ll have to deal with eventually. on that same note though, what nyla told lucy about how she’s respected and basically built a name for herself will be referred back to and used to resolve part of that tension

which brings up chenford secret dating era — this is completely going to cause problems whether it is comedic bits like we saw when they were coming up with a cover story at the station or actual problems because they can’t hide it forever and the sneaking around becomes bigger than both of them

i don’t think either of them will transfer out of the station because logistically it doesn’t make sense but once their relationship is out, the threat of one of them having to transfer and it seeming like one of them is leaving or breaking things off because they think that by doing so they’re letting the other grow professionally and it’s the right thing to do

i will preface this with i have read too many fanfics and i love every single one — but internal affairs getting involved because it comes to light that a superior is dating his subordinate and is just a nightmare for the both of them trying to prove that no lines were crossed but also maybe tension with the rest of the group for some reason??

lucy’s parents are an obstacle i could see. they’ve made their feelings about lucy being a cop very clear so how are they going to feel when lucy admits she’s dating another cop?? especially considering it was the one who was her training officer. i could also see her parents having a problem with their age difference? i think he’s about eight to ten years older than lucy? but that’s just off the general vibe i’ve gotten from vanessa and patrick

tim’s protectiveness. while i LOVE how protective tim is over lucy, i feel like that is going to become heightened now that they’re dating and it could get in the way. like him worrying could either affect her job and she gets hurt because she’s lost focus or she gets upset at him because she thinks he thinks she can’t handle it

more than anything, i think general misunderstandings? we saw it in 5x02 when they fell into this weird, awkward funk that affected how they communicated and lucy thought he was pushing her away for different reasons. i could see there being a misunderstanding that spirals into something that lasts an episode or two that just is peak angst where it seems like they may break it off but it ends up being them taking one step backward and two steps forward at the end with them reaching a new milestone

i do think one of them being in danger could be something toward the end like a cliffhanger that could happen like it’s not necessarily something that has them considering to be apart but rather the universe pulling them apart

this is a stretch but i think it’s a possibility? tim’s family, specifically his dad. i do think tim made peace with his dad but i could also see it bringing up a lot of emotions once he passes and it being a challenge that they have to navigate because he could shut off or it could cause tensions with genny that lucy tries to help and makes the situation worse

losing someone close to them. i do not want anyone dying but people deal with grief in such different ways that i think this could be used as a plot device where it leads to miscommunication because one of them is shutting the other out and it just spirals into something else

going back to your mention of isabel, maybe they do go with the “something from their past comes back to haunt them” trope. i have no idea what or who aside from isabel or tim’s dad though

one thing that chenford has always done well is communicate (ya know except for that time they didn’t). lucy has always been a very open book and through the seasons has pushed tim to do the same. like the fact that they were able to acknowledge how awkward they felt in the first date was huge because anyone else would have called it good and called it quits. they’re willing to fight for each other which i think is so rare and so precious. lucy wasn’t kidding when she said he was the most important relationship in her life and i think they’re both aware of the weight that holds. which also in a way could cause it’s own set of problem because of how hard they’re trying

bonus - this has nothing to do with situations that could drive them apart but it is something i’d love to see the writers do: 

i would have them do a proper crossover and include lucy and tim in it, specifically go undercover as dim and juicy again and include brenden and laura in their undercover shenanigans because i want a cute or funny chenford and brensen scene. 

thanks for the questions! ♡ this was so much fun to think about

[umgeorge]

george russell is interviewed on media day [part 1], miami, florida, u.s. - may 4, 2023 (transcription under the cut)

Interviewer: "George Russell, it's great to see you back here in Miami. Hectic week; back-to-back weekends with races, long travel. How are you feeling?" George: "I'm feeling okay. I mean, we're doing what we love, obviously, and everybody in this paddock is, but back-to-back with Baku, Miami, is an eight hour time difference, I think fourteen hour flight. Pretty heavy." Interviewer: "Did you get to pop home for a bit?" George: "Yeah, I went home. I went home, so kind of on the way. Two nights in my own bed makes a big difference when you're away from home for 250 days a year, so..." Interviewer: "Who's counting?" George: "I'm counting." [laughs] Interviewer: [laughs] "Absolutely. It's just the fifth race of the season, which testing, I'm sure, feels like ages ago, at this point. How would you maybe describe the progress the team has made thus far?" George: "I'm not too sure, to be honest. It's been a lot of lessons we've learned on these opening four races. I think we do understand where the car operates best, but ultimately we're not as fast as we should be and want to be, and we've got a lot of ground to catch up. With Red Bull, it's pretty impresive to see what they've done. They've got some trick bits on their car and the results are showing with them, but if they weren't here it would have been a pretty exciting season because ourselves, Ferrari, and Aston Martin, there's a pretty good fight at the moment. We're so close in performance. One week it can go either way, so that's what Formula 1 should be about." Interviewer: "What's it been like competing against Red Bull? Is it somewhat frustrating? Is it moreso out of admiration for the car that they've put together?" George: "I mean, you have to respect the job they've done. They've ultimately done a better job than the rest and, as I said, the results are showing that. We've got a lot of work to catch up, but I think the progress that you're seeing Aston Martin make, for example, shows it is possible to make big leaps, so that's what we're looking to achieve sooner than later. But Red Bull are just in a league of their own at the moment, and they look so solid, and yeah, it's a bit of a shame for all involved, but I don't really know, to be honest, any more than that." Interviewer: "Motivating, though, nonetheless." George: "Yeah, for sure it's motivating. We need to do better, and we got a taste of victory last year, and we wanna taste that champagne again and again, and that's what’s motivating all of us; not just myself and Lewis, but the 2,000 people back at the factory building the car, building the engine. We're fighting like hell to get back there." Interviewer: "Do you see differences in yourself as a person or as a driver, from year two to year one?" George: "No. I think, naturally, developing as a driver, as a person... The sort of landscape of Formula 1 has changed a lot in the last few years, so dealing with that on a personal level, when I think most people within Formula 1 are recognized all over the world now, and that's something you just need to get used to. When you go to these races, there's so many fans, so many supporters, which is great. When you're away, if you're on holiday or in between races, everybody recognizes you, which is amazing to see where Formula 1 is at the moment. But from my side, I just wanna win. I'm fighting like hell to try and get back there and, as I said, as a team, this is what we're chasing." Interviewer: "You mentioned the notoriety. Was there a moment where you were on holiday or you were out and about, maybe going to the grocery or something just frivolous, where somebody recognized you and you thought, oh wow, my career has taken off. My notoriety has started to take off and pick up?" George: "I think it may have been... I went on holiday to the Caribbean once, and I got to passport control, and before I even gave my passport to the chap behind the desk, he said, 'How you doing, George?'" Interviewer: "Oh, wow." George: "So that was probably... It was kind of, other side of the world, and..." Interviewer: "That's pretty cool." George: "Yeah! It's quite surreal, because I still feel like the same guy that I was ten years ago. I'm just doing what I love-that's racing-and I still feel humble and grounded. I don't feel like... I don't think I'm famous, for example. I think I'm just a normal guy. But then when you do get people recognize you, I have to sort of remind myself that I am in Formula 1, and obviously Formula 1's in the best place it's ever been, so you just kind of need to be aware of that."