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#i made my bed time to lie in it
omppupiiras · 9 months
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Omppu you are doing god's work with your OF drawings and I'm so sorry but also thankful for the suffering you put yourself through 🙏
mulle tulee sun vesiväritöistä mieleen Kylli-täti :D
aww thank you! 😭😭 honestly drawing them is like 30% suffering and 70% fun bc i do like doing them & giving myself permission to draw them fast with no pressure to make them look nice haha. but i definitely wish they would STOP with the OF madness already bc it's getting to be.......a lot 😂 pls guys don't keep doing it i beg of u seriously!!! im such a curious bastard that i will stay subscribed if there's gonna be regular content, but I DON'T WANT THAT 💀
ja aww ennoo tän kylli-tädin videoita ennen nähny mutta hänen piirrustukset vaikuttaa ihan liian herttaisilta ollakseen mitenkään verrannollisia mun tuherruksiin 😆
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tio-trile · 1 year
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I'm both a book fan (Neil has been a fave author of mine for years) and a show fan. I enjoyed S2 bc it was silly, and sweet, and I didn't need to think too hard.
Yeah, it wasn't the same as S1, or the book, but it wasn't ever going to be. Just let people like things and chill out a bit.
"Just let people like things" WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET PEOPLE DISLIKE THINGS? I'M NOT THE ONE GOING TO SHOW FANS' BLOGS SENDING THEM ASKS ABOUT HOW THEY SHOULDN'T LIKE THE SHOW. YOU'RE HERE, IN MY HOUSE (blog). NO I WILL NOT CHILL OUT THIS IS MY OWN PRIVATE DOMICILE (blog) AND I CAN HAVE MY OWN OPINIONS HERE
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🌙☁️🌌
#evenings and nights are always the worst for me#when i feel this lonely.... :(((#when you're alone the nights are the worst bc#u dont have anyone at all really.. and it gets so obvious at night#just .. the loneliness gets intensified#and i can compare bc#there was a period of time where i talked to someone everyday#and i looked forward to the nights and their messages and comforing goodnight messages#and so i know firsthand what big of a difference that makes#for years and years i've had these bad loneliness feelings tho.. so it's not smth new#but it gets harder and harder to deal with them. esp as the world outside is getting colder and crueler#and people only get more and more mean#plus when i do have smth wonderful that made me warm and happy and comforted that i dont have anymore#and can compare and know what im missing#it does get harder :c#i try to watch videos and think of other things but oh god this loneliness hurts so damn much i crumble underneath the weight of it#maybe life will get better dealing with it all if i have a stable income and an apartment with my pets#and go to work all day and come home too tired to feel lonely... idk?#im so scared i'll never find someone that i can be together with. bc i think im the kind of person who needs that#but im also so different and difficult and idk how and if it'll happen....#and how do i live with these heavy painful feelings of extreme loneliness ? idk :c#i try mindfulness too. and listening to music. and reading. and cuddling my pets#but im just a human. i want someone i love to hold me and fall asleep with them close to me.#i wanna lie in bed and talk to them abt anything bc between us it is a judgement free zone#despite what ppl say i am not weak for needing and wanting that. and being incredibly alone without it.#it's what i need and want but idk if i ever will and the thought of being stuck with this heavy loneliness all my life makes me wanna die#ok. peace out 😑✌️
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j-wilson-md · 1 year
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supernatural au where amara also resurrect john and adam (+michael)
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pechebeche · 4 months
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you forget how Physical depression can get when you're on good meds. i have been drinking so much water all week and forcing myself to eat, but i still feel both bloated and nauseous like ive overeaten + dizzy like i haven't eaten in days. no wonder i had-have disordered eating
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abimee · 4 months
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ruyan is literally so beautiful that i get ill looking at her
#a lot of my time as a person who cant recognize himself to the point that if you start asking about myself im going to lie to you#is that i really like to engage with media that asks you to be present in the text by creating an outside being who simply has#some similarities to me#like the concepts i know i have. but make them their own unique person#so ruyan is really fun in that if i was a well adjusted person she would probably be a self insert and not her own person#but instead by the grace of god and my own mental problems she exists and is a full person that i practically see as a friend#like when i like a character so much that they become a comfort to me (emil) my brain engages in relationship interpretation to that#chartacter. emil is my daughter who i feel paternal sentiments to despite me being a human person and her being code in a video game#for ruyan she is like a friend where i want to go to her wedding and see her kids and hear about her life#i may have made her but i watch her as if i just met her'#recognizing this thing i have going on has helped me immensely be comfortable with myself#ruyan is a friend to me a sister tock is my daughter who i feel a real world father-daughter dynamic towards#i feel the need to nourish her and entertain her and put her to bed and let her know i love her#and you dont have to think this is normal because if you by now havent harbored some sort of#This Guy is Weird sentiment towards me youre either like me or VERY kind#but i know that i have parts of me that are weird. i am 23 years old bringing toys to the beach#but i dont chase validation so much as i just enjoy when its given to me#but i dont need validation because i cant even form my own self to need validation for#im learning about myself like im wiping down an old mirror. that doesnt need validation because im seeing it for the first time#im having my understanding moment here and you are free to leave the room and leave me to my mirrow
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Comte’s Drama CD: Track Two, An Extraordinarily Elegant Awakening
All right, I gotta preface this one with the content warning that it is so domestic fluff it may induce cardiac arrest. I haven’t recovered and it’s been like two months, so take that as you will. The title is pretty self explanatory on this one, in that it’s basically a morning between Comte and MC, and he brings her breakfast in bed.
I will say this one is less meta only because I spent most of it squealing and/or hiding my face in glee LMAO. I’m weak to the man of my dreams, sue me Additionally most of it is just Comte being so on brand of like: “share my time with MC with others????? In my me????? It’s less likely than you think--” That also includes being the most doting and affectionate husband ever, which is the only kind of energy I want in my life. (It keeps making me think of that post that goes something like “goth husbands who are hopelessly in love with their wives is the only vibe I enjoy in hetero couples.”)
Anywho, enjoy the translation and fangirling beneath the cut! I put the sound effects in brackets, because leaving them out felt criminal to Comte stans everywhere~
Mm…morning already…
My dear lover… (HE SAYS ITOSHII WAAAAAAAH)
[chuckle]...You’re still dreaming
…you look awfully happy and cozy. I wonder what kind of dream you’re having?
[giggle] Since your lips are smiling, it must be a nice dream.
Just looking at you is enough to fill me with delight too…
Besides, I can’t help but think I’m the only one who gets to see this cute sleeping face. Just a few more minutes…
Literally what more can be said than him being the sweetest man alive. The affection????? Wants her all to himself as much as possible????? Just waking up to her beside him is enough to make him overjoyed?????? Anybody got some tissues sobsob I just love him sm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
[kiss sound] To witness this kind of defenseless position is a lover’s privilege alone… (👀)
Since that wasn’t enough to wake you up, I’ll do it again… [kiss sound]
…Oh, [giggle] did you wake up?
Are you awake, princess…? (ohimesama) Good morning~ [kiss sound]
Haha, a good morning kiss was enough to make you blush…you’re so adorable.
With such a sweet greeting, you’ll make me want to do it over and over again.
Okay but I gotta tell y’all. I was re-listening to see if there was anything else I wanted to convey and like. The way his voice is a little sleepy and wispy at the beginning, just super content/relaxed/indulging. Then she wakes up and you can just hear the YAYAYAYAYAYAY SHE’S AWAKE. OKAY, BE CHARMING PERFECT LOVER I WANNA SEE HER BLUSH AAAAAAAAA, and I just. That’s so adorable???? I’m dying????
He’s so playful and giddy????? So many kisses????? Excited for her to wake up????? It’s so bad for my heart???? Truly nobody does romance like them, 11/10 I gleefully kick my feet every time I listen to it. Damn, me too MC, if I woke up to that every morning I would be error 404 shut down blush constantly
Also that first line. For lack of better words to describe my thoughts, BOW CHICKA WOW WOW. But more seriously I do love how much he prizes and respects the vulnerability that’s shared between lovers. This isn’t the first indication of it by far, but something about the deep value he places in intimacy and sincerity shared between them hits different in the best way. I guess, as a pretty serious and sensitive person myself, I can’t help but appreciate the same sentiments reflected in him.
[many, many kisses] Well, if you wanted a deeper kiss, of course I’m happy to oblige…now, what do you want to do? [seductive whisper, Horie-san have mercy]
I’m sorry. Don’t turn away, I won’t tease you anymore (THE WAY HE INSTANTLY BACKTRACKS. WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED AND THEN COOED)
…I’m sorry for being mean. (STOP I’M YELLING THE PLEADING, HONEY YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. I CAN FEEL THE DROOPING DOG EARS)
I don’t mean to make excuses…but I can’t help but think you’re the cutest. (that is the best excuse ever, and in the sexiest pout voice imaginable, you are forgiven)
Now that you’re awake, let’s have breakfast soon…I know, would you like to have breakfast in bed?
[chuckle] Well...because I still want to have you all to myself. [kiss sound, more sultry murmur] It’s okay once in a while, isn’t it?
I can’t get over how fast he’s like masaka when she turns around because she’s overwhelmed by his teasing, it’s so funny to me. She’s not mad, Comte!!! You’re just too powerful!!! Have mercy, she's just a human woman!!!! And not only that, he tells her two seconds later he wants her all to himself. When I say he has me by the throat, figuratively ofc because SOMEBODY keeps his fangs to himself--
If that’s the case…I’ll get breakfast ready then.
You should stay in bed a little longer, I’ll be right back.
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Is it alright if I come in?
Sorry for the delay, I’ve brought you breakfast.
A freshly baked baguette, and omelets from Sebastian--
and our favorite morning teas, of course.
It’s a special breakfast for an exceptionally elegant morning.
Okay the way I snickered when he mentioned the baguette, the man really do be like “world cold and sad, baguette warm and soft.” Is this part of why he’s obsessed with MC’s thighs?
Come on over and eat. I’ll feed you, so open wide.
We’ll start with the omelet…it was just finished, so we’ll have to cool it down first.
[He’s blowing on it lmfao]
[laughter] There’s no need to be embarrassed, is there? It’s just me and you here. Come now, don’t be shy…
[chuckle]….That’s a good girl. Yes, aaah…
[laughter]…Ah, I’m sorry. You just look so pleased to eat it, I can’t help but wonder.
You taught me that smiles can even emerge in such everyday moments. (the fondness in his voice I 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)
Yes, next time I’ll feed you potage…aaah (OPPORTUNIST Ò//Ó)
…is it good? Haha, [BOYISH LAUGHTER SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP] that’s good. I’m glad you like it.
I can’t believe I get to see your happy face this close first thing in the morning…I think today will be a good day.
I’ve specially planned our day together today, so I hope you enjoy it.
…let’s have a great day together, shall we? [kiss sound]
Honestly MC deserves more credit for not imploding on the spot, I know I’m not strong enough to be faced with all that and not literally become the PANIK meme. I love him more than life itself but that does not mean I’m ready to be doted on--
I have to say though, I really am touched by relationships that are built on little, day-to-day pleasures like this. The way he’s just happy to share mundane things with her, that every day together is a gift. The idea that her smile is enough, that he simply loves to be with her and look after her. Every time Comte manages to far exceed my expectations. (KING OUR EXPECTATIONS WERE ON THE FLOOR AND Y E T--) Well played, monsieur, well played. I concede defeat 👑
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twilightarcade · 2 months
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anyways wanna hear about what I've been thinking about
#wordstag#Heavily redacted on account of I don't wanna dox myslef#Anyways like yesterday someone was like 'you're prettygood at driving' and I was like. I play a lot of Mario kart. I don't play a lot of#Mario kart that was a flat Lie. Also I hate driving ohhhghhhh my goodod it's like if they made the worst thing ever and if you do bad#Everyone kills you anwyas was thinkingof sending a letter to my friend. But I don't really know how letters work to be real I haven't sent#letter in 5 million years.#next topic was thinking about (not someothonh we would ever do) a gimmicky fundraiser wheee it's like there's goals and at certain#Goals you unlock different things. At 50 bucks we buy [GUY] a new mouse at 100 bucks we make a collectible pin line etc etc#at 200 bucks we do a choreographed dance routine#Next next topic like a bit ago we had an idea to make like#A pet sim but your pet is doomed to die. Pet sim where you outlive your pet#where basically you have a pet yeah and it's like a clicker and you gotta click and upgrade yr clicks ets#all while feeding this pet who's life span is only limited by how much money you make#and it was like. A slow decline yknow. The prices of everything gets higher snd eventually you can't afford to feed your pet yknow#something of a tragedy. You can keep playing but your pet won't be there anymore#and like at some point you don't have time to play with your pet anymore because you need to focus on making money#I told my friend this (golf friend) and she was like. You're insane. Horribly crudeidea but that was also the point?#What message about society or whatever the shit is there? I dontknow bro.#there r two endings one ending where your pet dies sad and you live on (you have like a taxes you pay rent or some shit#So you loose money and if you can't pay rent you die. Or something like that it isn't that thought through#then the other ending is like everyone dies forever but you died playing with your pet so. Peace and love on planet earth#Anywyas um. I've gotta head to bed man. Or they're gonna Get Me#I don't think I'm going to but. ominous.#dude the computer is loud as fuck are we mining bitcoin or some shit. Is it usually this loud ?????
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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ofcowardiceandkings · 23 days
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the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do
#ive uh not processed it yet and it also wont really shake out for a little while now i guess but .. yeah#long story short my friends who ive been A Trio with since we were 11 might be done with each other#theres a LOT of additional factors but theyre splitting a house share so one can go live with a boyfriend#and in the process it sounds like theyve made a lot of selfish choices for some unknown reason#ngl theyve pissed me off a little bit for being so weird and reclusive since theyve had the boyfriend as well but only with us#its ... yeah i dont know what alls happened because i dont live with them#but i just cant fathom how they got to this point quibbling over the contents of their shared house of 5 years#over a boyfriend whos been around for 2 or 3 years ..... to ruin a friendship of 18 years ????#again i dont know the whole story but i trust what the friend whos still good at talking to us to not lie about them being screwed around#i just dont get it at all how to reconcile what ive been told with who ive known over half my life#theyve felt off .. or wrong for a while now tbh ... i miss them#i havent seen the other one since before may ...#the thought that mightve been the last time we all hang out is kind of killling me inside lol#and it was also pretty weird and stilted again because it was very boyfriend-centric#this always happens to me lol ive lost count of all my school friend groups who end up basically fighting over me after they fall out#its a MAJOR trauma point for me and i thought we kind of grew past that but i guess i was wrong#ive been catching myself with a weepy eye or a single sob all day#i dont know what to do i wanna know what the fuck happened and what was worth doing this for#i wanna confront everyone and ask for a fucking explanation as to why my single life solid bedrock is falling apart#i mostly wanna dig a hole and die in it ... im fine im safe but im bothered by like ...#what a total fool ill look like if i just melt down at work ... i might find the mental health first aiders list and write an email lol#im like not okay cksbdkssj fucking hell#i have some hope but its ... its hard out here#i need to go to bed fuck#id dont neeeeed thiiiiisss im gonna choke on life agaaaiiinnn#the battle to keep my shit together enough to at least not self-sabotage ??? its testing my patience#rory's ramblings
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g0thsoojin · 1 month
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popponn · 3 months
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mysme is doing wonders for my mental health i miss you so much my defender of justice 707 my love my star my planet the light of my life the bfest bf to ever bf the earth
#teenager me got good taste. my twenty something ass is falling again for this man i love him#truly good for mental health at the cost of non peaceful night sleep? what a deal. i love you mysme#the fandom is dead but coming back to this game is the best choice i ever made this year so far#i love you mysme. take me back to 2016 again except dont that year was shit but i do miss you a lot#ESPECIALLY YOU!!! CHOI TWINS!!!!! SAEYOUNGIE!!! SAERANAH!!!!! I WUV YOU TWO!!!!!!!#saeyoung especially dear god if a man does not love you as much and as deeply and as multi dimensional LITERALLY as seven is he even worth#ah i love him#ALSO ZEN GOD i used to go aw he is so sweet and cute now im loving him a whole lot. gimme hourglasses pretty boy. and i love ur rants go of#his calls in seven's route day 8 forgot what time is the best. my guy i want u as my older bro#yoosung is so cute. his whining about uni life is so relatable. my introverted gacha game addicted ass get you lil guy#AND JAEHEE GOOD LORD JAEHEE.#as a teenager? she is cool. now? im screaming she is stronger than me anD#quitting her corporate job?? to open?? a coffee shop?? with me???? that's like. peak ideal marriage happy end there tf. CHERITZ.#cheritz i also wanna lie down in lingerie. on the bed with her too. CHERITZ GIMME THE CG#except cheritz no longer give mysme new content except for home screen which is gracious already#anw this is not about the game company MYSME!!!! I MISS YOU!!! THE FANDOM IS LONG DEAD!!! BUT!!!#SEVEN O SEVEN IS ETERNAL!!!! god he is branrotting me like he never did before the grip is insane#im laughing im crying saeyoung i love you#babblings#cant believe im returning to this blog just for this
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agayconcept · 4 months
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antiqua-lugar · 1 year
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I made my Tiefling a Mephistopheles Sorcerer, with the idea that once upon a time his human ancestor made a demonic pact in his purse of power (especially after reading the Forgotten Realms wiki about Mages having Tieflings just to use them as slaves or for other nefarious reasons).
The irony does not escape me as I romance GALE.
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simptasia · 8 months
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now more than ever i understand the desire to self-harm. not even just physically, but emotionally. like, i wanna seek out things that make me angry or sad. i wanna scream, i wanna fucking scream!!
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rainingincale · 9 months
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sigh 😔
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